My sister 22f has been with this guy 28m for almost 3 years. He actually was a friend of mine, a good one also. Me, my mum and my girlfriend have starting to notice red flags in him since their 2nd year together. He normally doesn't take no for an answer, and will manipulate, insist a lot or throwing a tantrum until he gets it his way either way. So few weeks ago me, my girlfriend, my sister and her boyfriend took a trip together, where he would stay only 2 days, returning alone. The four of us go out clubbing and after I would drive for 1 hour. I get my sister to ride shotgun and my girlfriend is in the backseats with him.
When we arrive my girlfriend told me he has touched her inappropriately, tried to kiss her and bring her hand towards his crotch.
Keep in mind that my sister and my girlfriend are close friends. We thought that obviously my sister would leave him on the spot, but after returning home says she will stay with him regardless. I told her that there will never be any holiday or time spent together since me and also my girlfriend will never want to interact with him again. There's actually no scenario possible in witch I would want to ever see his face again.
Turns out she's pregnant, and also they kinda already knew when he did what he did. If she wants to keep the child, sooner or later they will surely break up, and I am afraid that my sister will endure all his abusive behaviors more and more for the sake of the child. My sister still needs to finish school, she had taken a break and worked in the meantime for a little salary. He recently lost another job which was a 5 minutes walk from his home due to him being irresponsible, showing up late or not showing up at all and being generally someone who doesn't keep their word, and also lies pretty easily. They are living at his parents home all this time.
Then there's the thing that if she keeps the baby every interaction between my family and my sister and the baby will be pretty unpleasant since no one is going to pretend they like him.
We are all pretty shocked right now, me my mother and my girlfriend, since we think that my sister needs to get away from him asap, and a baby would keep her close to him, which is not a healthy relationship at all.
Obviously we can't impose anything over the choice my sister makes, but we're worried a lot because we want her out of this toxic relationship, for her own good. I think she is not able to think clearly right now, but it is for her own good to get out of this relationship before it's too late.
Never imagined being in a situation like this, there actually was zero possibility in our mind for him to do something like this.
I just want your opinion on the situation, I think probably either way we won't have any impact on my sister's decision.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_wafflehouse
My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Original Post May 11, 2020
I know this sounds really weird, but here it is:
My BF and I have been together for three years. We met and started dating when we were both in graduate school, but I dropped out to go back to college to pursue a different career. We are both finished now, and live together making a fairly nice combined income.
Our income is relevant because we could afford to eat somewhere nice when we're out and about, but he always wants breakfast food. When he was a child his dad couldn't stand eating breakfast-type food in the afternoon or evenings, so his mom would make him waffles/pancakes, eggs, and bacon in the evening whenever his dad was busy or out of town. It's a wonderful and safe memory for him, and when he goes to his "happy place," he says that's where he always goes.
My BF is an incredibly nice and caring person. He's emotionally tuned in to everyone and recognizes arising issues a long time before they occur. He loves animals, and is kind and gentle with every bug, bird, and pet that he comes across. He's almost always willing to turn the other cheek in social situations where somebody tries to insult him or get aggressive towards him, and usually winds up defusing the situation and having a productive discussion about whatever the issue was. Except at Waffle House.
Anytime we're out he wants to go to the same goddamn Waffle House and get breakfast food. I'm not a big eater, so I used to not really care. I would just drink coffee and read my book while he enjoyed his food. But that became impossible once he and this one cook started chirping at each other every time we went there. BF complained about his eggs one time, because he likes them a little runny and they were served hard. The cook responded by giving him scrambled eggs. When he brought it up again the cook served him two hardboiled eggs. I think it was just part of the cook's schtick, and it was kind of funny tbh, but my BF wasn't able to laugh it off. When we left he was in kind of a bad mood, but we didn't really talk about it.
The next week we were out getting some shopping done, and he wanted to go to Waffle House again. I suggested that we try out a different place, or at least a different Waffle House location, but he only wanted the same Waffle House. We went in and sat down, and once again the same cook served his eggs wrong. My BF sort of snapped at him that he wasn't interested in messing around, and just wanted the correct eggs. The cook then served him a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle with a fried egg in it. My BF got really mad and threw the egg toast at the cook, which made the cook come around from behind the bar and throw it back at him. They ended up sort of wrestling/fighting until my BF was like "this is bullshit" and walked out. Nobody got hurt, but the few other people in there were watching and laughing a bit.
This is the crazy part: my BF keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights with the same cook. It's almost a ritual at this point. My BF orders runny eggs, the cook serves him some other version of eggs, and then they beat the shit out of each other. I quit going with him after the second fight, but he kept going by himself. They're like Peter and the giant chicken from Family Guy, it's the weirdest thing. They've physically fought like 6 or 7 times over this.
I've tried to talk to him about it a few times, but he keeps saying it's a matter of principle. I've told him to talk to the manager or something like that, but he just waves me off. Apparently that cook hasn't yet made him the correct runny eggs, but it's like he spends the week learning new ways of preparing eggs to piss my boyfriend off.
The thing is, we're getting married this summer. He's accepted a job in a new city and it'll be easy for me to find work after the wedding, so we'll be moving away from his sworn enemy waffle house guy. He hasn't really been out since quarantine started, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the first place he goes when restaurants open back up for sitting customers. But my main worry is this strange vindictive side of him I've never seen before that leads him to fight the same guy every week. The violence itself is an issue for me, but the obsession over it almost bothers me more.
Should I be worried that this side of him will come up later in our marriage? How do I get him to open up about this? Is this type of obsession a choice, or is it indicative of something deeper?
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP. DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP OR COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POST

"I wanted to nab the thief while Exbo here wanted to get his buddy back. Although it was our first meeting, we fought together. That guy may have escaped, but we've decided to battle together from now on. Even if I meet new Pokemon along the way, I will still treat them the same way, because to me...Pokemon are my partners! We work alongside for the same goals, because...we are partners!"
Gold was raised around Pokemon, his home having so many it was known as the Poké House to those in the community. But after a chance encounter leads to his Pokemon being stolen and being the sole witness to a boy stealing Professor Elm's Totodile, Gold gives the police a false description of the thief before setting out with a Pokedex and a Cyndaquil to hunt him down himself. Along the way, Gold demonstrates a deceptive fighting style, often using his cue to send Pokeballs in strange directions and using other members of his team to hide the key play another Pokemon is performing, as well as an ability to nurture the full potential out of any Pokemon from as early as them being in an egg, earning him the moniker of 'the Hatcher'. With these skills, Gold would prove a key player as he faced off against the likes of a revived Team Rocket, a masked man seeking to rewrite time, and even Arceus themselves.
All feats are tagged with the chapter they appear in.

Gold

Physicals

Strength

• Shattered the Masked Man's mask with his cue¹⁷²
• With Silver, holds back a large metal boulder⁹⁸

Durability - Blunt Force

• Kicked in the face by Crystal⁴⁶⁰
• Struck in the back by Whitney's Miltank¹⁰⁵
• Kicked away by Sapphire while in a suit of armour³²⁸
• Hit back by the Masked Man¹⁷²
• Slammed into the ground by Ho-Oh¹⁶⁶
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit away by Arceus⁴⁵⁴
• Kicked by Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Durability - Other

• Thrown about by water as an island sized water construct strikes the Battle Tower³²⁹
• Sent flying into a distant wall by Guile³³⁴
• Bitten on the hand by Silver's Totodile⁹⁸
• Falls a distance onto a beach after his Mantine was struck out of the air by Lugia¹⁴⁸
• Struck by Masked Man's Deliberd's Icy Wind¹¹³
• Caught in Masked Man's Deliberd's Blizzard¹¹³
• Seemingly caught in Jirachi's Doom Desire³³⁴
• Seemingly knocked back by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Speed

• Dodges an attack from a group of Bellsprout⁹⁷
• Dodges a beam from a Gyarados¹¹²
• Dodges a beam from Arceus⁴⁵³
• Dodges a spike trap suddenly appearing from a wall⁹⁸
• Saves a girl from an Ursaring strike¹⁰¹

Skill

Cue Shots - Regular

• Curves a Pokeball behind an opponent⁹³
• Hits Aipom's ball to the top of a tree, where they're then released⁹¹
• Hits a fleeing Pokemon with enough force to relocate its jaw¹⁰¹

Cue Shots - Ricochet

• While being swept away in a river in a storm, hits Exbo's ball so it rebounds off of two surfaces and gets him safely to shore⁹⁵
• Bounces a pokeball repeatedly between the walls, ceiling, and floor of a room with a single strike to make several Yanma dizzy¹⁵⁴
• Ricochets a Friend Ball repeatedly around two Pokemon before hitting a Heavy Ball at their two feet, sending both pokeballs to Gold's and Silver's hands respectively¹⁰¹

Other

• Throws his cue to block a pair of shutters from closing on Emerald³²⁸
• Drops a distance onto a board on a rough sea, maintaining balance for a short distance due to it being 'not so different' from skateboarding¹⁴⁶

Intelligence

Battles

• On numerous occasions has used a Pokemon as a distraction while a second Pokemon enacts his actual strategy in secret¹¹¹
• Returns Aibo before curving his ball around an opponent, allowing him to strike their behind⁹³
• Has the other Pokedex holders withdraw their Pokemon before having Aibo ride his skateboard with them at Guile Hideout, allowing all the Pokemon to be released directly on top of him³²⁹
• Throws Aibo in front of a charging Donphan before he uses his tail to pull himself to safety, in that brief moment successfully confusing the Pokemon and causing them to charge into a wall⁹⁶
• Goads a team of Bellsprout into stacking on top of each other, allowing Cyndaquil to take them all out at once⁹⁷
• Has a school of Remoraid attack Lugia's mouth, stopping the legendary from closing it and being able to use Aeroblast¹⁴⁸
• Calculates how long a Pokeball could endure a Dragonite's Hyper Beam, uses the fact that said Hyper Beam is not changing direction in midair to tell that its trainer isn't present to give it orders, and uses this to get the Dragonite to attack in a specific direction and allow Togbo to attack them from behind⁴⁴⁴

Deception

• Drops a straw doll from a tree as a decoy, allowing him to get behind the Masked Man to attack him¹⁰⁴
• Disappears in a smokescreen, intending to drive the Masked Man into pursuing him through a forest, while he had actually climbed a tree so he could climb back down when the coast was clear to save a trainer and his Pokemon¹⁰⁴

Other

• Modifies his skateboard with bike parts¹⁰⁵
• Hits Aipom's ball up a tree to release him before using a heavy pack as a counterweight to lift him up⁹¹
• Uses the fact Yanma have 360 degree vision in a plan to make them dizzy and have one drop a baby¹⁵⁴
• Has Aipom strike the centre of a stack of blocks, allowing the rest of his team to easily smash through the entire stack while they previously were only able to break through a few, winning him the round against a Machamp which could easily smash through stacks on his own⁴⁴³
• Memorizes all the obstacles on a course by going along it the wrong way on his skateboard, allowing him to guide his Togepi around it flawlessly when the Pokemon was blinded⁴⁴²
• Had the foresight to hold onto Emerald's broken mechanical hand, causing Archie to grab hold of it and allowing Gold to let him drop³³⁵

Gear

Pokedex

• His Pokedex shows a Pokemon's strength and attacks⁹⁵
• Identifies four Pokemon at once¹⁰³
• Identifies an attack as the Pokemon is lunging towards him¹⁰³
• Can perform trades with other Pokedex owners¹⁰⁹
• Is capable of tracking the energy of a specific Pokemon the owner has made contact with¹⁴⁹
  • Can't do this if the Pokemon's been caught by someone else⁴⁹
• When three Pokedexes in possession of their true owners are close to each other, all of them make a noise¹⁴⁶

Pokeballs

• Pokemon are held in pokeballs, which have a translucent top which Gold can see Pokemon through⁹³
• They and their Pokemon can return to Gold's hand as he wishes⁹³
• Protect Pokemon from attacks, though they can be destroyed⁴⁴⁴
• Pokemon can move their balls from the inside¹⁰⁷

Cue

• A cue, which he uses to perform trick shots with his pokeballs⁹³
• Clashes with Guile Hideout's sword³²⁹
• Used to quickly change his direction on a skateboard⁹⁶
• Throws it to stop metal shutters from closing on Emerald³²⁸
• Is collapsible³²⁸
• Holds it in his clothes, not his bag¹⁴⁵

Other

• His pokegear allows him to make and take calls⁹⁵
• A pair of goggles, used to protect him from the likes of Exbo's Smokescreen⁹⁸
  • Protect him from Sunbo's Flash¹⁰⁰
• Carries rope to climb up a pagoda⁹⁷
• Uses a skateboard to get around⁹⁵

Other

• Is given the title of 'The Hatcher' by Professor Oak, with him causing a Pichu egg to hatch the instant he touched it¹⁷⁸
  • This ability was developed due to him having lived with Pokemon he considered his family all his life, and allows him to draw out the full potential of a Pokemon¹⁸⁰
  • A Pokemon will have its personality influenced by the emotions felt by Gold as they hatch¹⁷⁹
• Guides his team into winning the Skill, Jump, Stamina, Speed, and Power Pokeathlon courses^442-443
• Despite all his skill, still cheats at pool at a games corner¹⁰⁷

Aibo the Ambipom

As An Aipom

Physicals

• Breaks a block with his tail⁴⁴³
  • When deliberately placing cracks on the centre of the top tile, Aibo could smash through ten plates at once⁴⁴³
• Holds up Gold while clutching a branch with his tail⁹¹ https://imgur.com/a/0NPzvXW
• Lifts up and throws an enormous Snowball⁴⁴²
• Thrown about by water as an island sized water construct strikes the Battle Tower³²⁹
• Struck away by a Donphan's Horn Attack⁹⁶
• Catches a nearby Sunkern in his tail so that Gold can catch them⁹⁹
• Reacts fast enough to catch Gold after the floor's broken beneath them⁹⁷
• Rapidly spins Gold's cue with his tail to enhance Exbo's fire³²⁸

Moves

• Scratch - Aibo repeatedly scratches a foe⁹¹
• Swagger - Confuses a Hoothoot, causing it to attack its trainer instead of falsely calling out that a timer's up⁹²
  • Is briefly in front of a charging Donphan before getting pulled away, with the Donphan getting confused and crashing into a wall⁹⁶
• Double Team - Creates an illusionary duplicate, allowing him to dodge an attack¹¹³
• Agility - Greatly increases Aibo's speed¹⁷²
• Baton Pass - Passes stat increases, such as that gained through Agility, to another of Gold's Pokemon¹⁷²
• Double Hit - Allows him to attack opponents on opposite sides of him at the same time with his tail, and immediately causes him to evolve⁴⁴⁸

Other

• Hears the sound of Unown through a wall in some ruins¹⁰⁰
• Has the ability Run Away⁴⁴²

As An Ambipom

Physicals

• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Poked back by Arceus⁴⁵¹
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Double Hit - Strikes a foe with his tails⁴⁵¹

Other

• Is level 83 and has the Technician ability⁴⁵⁶

Exbo the Typhlosion

As A Cyndaquil

Physicals

• Breaks through a wooden floor⁹⁷
• Gets bitten and scratched by Silver's Totodile⁹⁸
• Intercepts an attack which is about to hit Gold¹⁰³

Moves

• Ember - Shoots a tall pillar of fire from his back, burning Silver's hand while he's hanging on to a tall branch⁹⁴
  • Knocks out a tower of Bellsprout at once⁹⁷
  • Hits back a Primape while boosted by Sunbo's Sunny Day¹⁰⁸
  • Rapidly heats a large metal boulder, allowing Totodile to cool and shatter it with Water Gun⁹⁸
  • Creates a ring of fire around Silver to stop him from escaping⁹⁴
  • Breaks through a wall in a ruin¹⁰⁰
• Tackle - Exbo charges into an opponent⁹⁸
• Smokescreen - Covers an area in obscuring smoke⁹⁸

Other

• Used to cook food for Gold, though he increases the heat and quickly burns it¹⁰⁰
• Can't emit fire while bound up¹⁰⁰

As A Quilava

Physicals

• Alongside Silver's Croconaw and Crystal's Bayleef, stops Lugia's wing from crushing their trainers and hold it up before evolving¹⁴⁸
• Struck by Silver's Croconaw's Water Gun¹¹¹

Moves

• Ember - Works alongside Silver's Croconaw and Crystal's Bayleef to slightly deflect Lugia's Aeroblast¹⁴⁷
• Double Team - Creates an illusory duplicate, making Croconaw bite down on nothing¹¹¹
• Flame Wheel - Creates a wheel of fire around him, catching several Pokemon¹¹⁴

As A Typhlosion

Physicals

• Breaks three blocks with a punch⁴⁴³
  • When Aibo deliberately placed cracks on the centre of the top tile, Exbo could smash through ten plates at once⁴⁴³
• Alongside Silver's Croconaw and Crystal's Bayleef, continues to hold up Lugia's wing to stop it from crushing their trainers¹⁴⁸
• Thrown about by water as an island sized water construct strikes the Battle Tower³²⁹
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Blast Burn - A stream of fire which, alongside eleven other Pokemon, destroys an island-sized water construct^335-336
  • Seems to knock back Arceus' head⁴⁴²
• With an unnamed fire attack enhanced by Aibo rapidly spinning Gold's cue, creates a powerful blast of fire which knocks back Guile Hideout³²⁸

Other

• Is level 84 with the ability Blaze⁴⁵⁶

Sunbo the Sunflora

As A Sunkern

Physicals

• Bounces extremely high, bringing Exbo's Pokeball up close to a flying Skarmory⁹⁹

Moves

• Flash - Emits a bright light which blinds several Team Rocket grunts and their Pokemon¹⁰⁰
• Growth - Presumably increases Sunbo's strength, though its effect has not been clearly shown¹⁰³
• Mega Drain - Presumably absorbs energy from an opponent, but it's not seen in use¹⁰⁴
• Sunny Day - Increases the power of nearby fire-type moves¹⁰⁸
• Giga Drain - Absorbs the energy of a Magcargo and a Sloking alongside Crystal's Parasect¹⁶⁴

As A Sunflora

Physicals

• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Sunny Day - Increases the strength of Exbo's fire attacks¹⁷²
• Solar Beam - Used off-screen⁴⁵⁹

Other

• Is level 75 with the ability Chlorophyll⁴⁵⁶

Polibo the Politoed

As A Poliwag

Moves

• Water Gun - Sends a Donphan flying back with a stream of water¹⁰⁸

Other

• Draws water from underground while using water type moves¹⁰⁹

As A Politoed

Physicals

• Breaks a block with a punch⁴⁴³
  • When Aibo deliberately placed cracks on the centre of the top tile, Polibo could smash through ten plates at once⁴⁴³
• Alongside Red's Poliwrath, breaks apart Archie's armour³³⁵
• Struck with Guile's knee³³⁵
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹
• Struck by Masked Man's Deliberd's Icy Wind¹¹³
• Caught in Masked Man's Deliberd's Blizzard¹¹³
• Dodges a beam from a Gyarados¹¹²
• Dodges a beam from Arceus⁴⁵³

Moves

• Water Gun - Harms Tyranitar with a stream of water, possibly shooting three streams at once though this could simply be representing how fast Silver's Murkrow is moving to block it¹¹¹
• Whirlpool - Creates a whirlpool at the Lake of Rage to stun a Gyarados¹¹²
  • Uses the destroyed rubble left behind by a giant Piloswine to defeat it, with Silver reasoning that it can do so because the Piloswine's earthquake shockwaves made the solids act like liquids¹¹⁰
• Double Slap - Repeatedly hits an opponent¹¹²
• Dynamic Punch - Polibo lunges forwards with a powerful punch¹¹³
• Hypnosis - Puts a crowd of Pokemon to sleep at once¹⁶⁶
• Perish Song - Instantly knocks out Masked Man's Delibird, but also knocks out Polibo himself¹⁷²
• Bounce - Used off-screen⁴⁵⁹

Other

• Is level 80 with the ability Water Absorb⁴⁵⁶

Sudobo the Sudowoodo

Physicals

• Lifts up a large piece of rubble¹⁶⁶
• No-sells Whitney's Miltank's Tackle and Exbo's Ember¹⁰⁵
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Hit by Silver's Ursaring's Fury Swipes¹¹¹
• Bitten by Ho-Oh¹⁶⁶
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Focus Punch - Strikes a Rhydon, knocking it out¹⁰⁶
• Low Kick - He extends his leg forwards at crazy angles, tripping up an opponent¹¹¹
  • Seemingly used fast enough to create afterimages⁴⁵⁵
• Dynamic Punch - Lunges forwards with a powerful strike which breaks stone¹¹¹
• Mimic - Sudobo uses the move his opponent's most recently used, allowing him to trade Fury Swipe blows with Silver's Ursaring¹¹¹
• Mud Slap - Throws up mud in a failed attempt to hold off Ho-Oh¹⁶⁶
• Flail - After being bitten by Ho-Oh, sends the legendary flying away¹⁶⁶
• Rock Tomb - Used off-screen⁴⁵⁹

Other

• Is level 78 with the ability Sturdy⁴⁵⁶
• Is capable of growing to create a highly convincing tree disguise, shrinking when revealing himself¹⁰⁶
  • Tricks a Gligar into landing on him like this in order to catch it¹⁰⁷

Togebo the Togekiss

As A Togepi

Physicals

• Immediately after hatching knocks Gligar back a short distance before getting hit away¹⁰⁷
• Seemingly endures part of a Dragonite's Hyper Beam after the Pokeball took the brunt of the attack (with said beam being able to destroy stone), then takes out the Dragonite with an attack to the back of the head⁴⁴⁴
• Struck away by a Dotrio⁴⁴²
• Sent flying back from Arceus hitting the ground near them⁴⁵³
• Struck away by Arceus before being hit point-blank by a beam⁴⁵⁹
• Hit by a beam from Arceus⁴⁵⁹

Moves

• Metronome - Uses a random move, in its debut appearance hitting a Gligar with a beam strong enough to knock them out¹⁰⁷
• Double Edge - Pierces into a Tyranitar's foot, taking it down¹¹¹

Other

• Is level 81 with the ability Hustle⁴⁵⁶
• Runs at full pelt around an obstacle course, following Gold's commands to dodge obstacles⁴⁴²
• Is a delinquent from birth due to Gold taking them to Game Corners while they were still an egg¹⁰⁷

As a Togekiss

Physicals

• Flies carrying Gold⁴⁶⁰

Moves

• Double Edge - Charges into Arceus, staggering them⁴⁵⁹

Tibo the Mantine and 20 Remoraid

Moves

• Water Gun - The Remoraid all blast Lugia with streams of water, forcing its mouth to stay open¹⁴⁸

Other

• Flies through the air with Gold hanging on with his cue¹⁴⁷

Pibu the Pichu

Moves

• Enhanced by Raikou's power, releases a powerful electric blast dubbed Super Rising Thunder to attack Pryce¹⁸⁰

I’ve been slowly collecting resources related to level design, including many videos, GDC talks and documents like The Level Design Book. I’m giving them all a thorough read through now, but one thing I’m not sure on is how to properly study existing level design.
As with any skill set that involves study (art, comp fps games, animation) it takes some time for me to get an eye for what to pay attention to when I look at existing pieces, and starting out has me feeling rather overwhelmed.
Im intending to work on levels for a Thief like stealth game, so I’ve been playing through thief itself, various fan maps as well as other games, but my inexperience means I’m not too sure what it is I should be looking out for in these levels. I know there are general concepts like sightlines, pathing, orientation and so on, but when facing a level I’m not sure what elements of it I should try to study and learn from.
When starting out, what elements of an existing level should I try to keep an eye out for to better understand why that level ‘clicks’? Do you have things you look out for when you research?

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TLDR: Nannying is a very hard job. There would probably be a lot more nannies who work as hard as one needs to do this job well if the pay matched the value and difficulty of the work.
I’ve been pretty active in this sub lately because I’ve been feeling unhappy at my job and it helps to have a community. I wrote this a while ago and have been nervous to post it but I think it’s important. I saw a post in nannyemployers asking where all of the “good” nannies have gone and this was the response I was writing until I realised the replies were to be from NP only.. I would post in the nanny employers sub if I weren’t terrified of the response. I know I’m singing to the choir here and I know saying it out loud doesn’t change much. But I am so, so angry, so imma just send it.
As a nanny who has two college degrees, practices Montessori, Reggio Emilia, and RIE, and as someone who has always loved and wanted to work with kids, there simply is not enough money in this career path to stick to it. I personally simply cannot rationalise doing the amount of physical and emotional work that is required for me to do this job as well as I want to for the typical pay, even though I absolutely love it.
For my background, experience, and approach, I am in a severely underpaid position (even when disregarding my qualifications it would still be severely underpaid.) Because of my personal and financial situation at the time of my job search, I did not have the luxury to wait for a unicorn family to offer me the salary I was looking for. I found a family that was a good fit and accepted the position even though I felt it was very much underpaid. I am now in a position where I am continuously battling wanting to work as hard as I can for these kids and this family, and realising I can’t break my back for them while being this underpaid (I mean I literally threw my back out during this job). I’m not someone who breaks a commitment easily but I guess I could move from family to family, waiting to find one who is able to financially match the value of this work, or I could stick it out and get $2/hr raises every year, but I can’t wait 10 years to finally get close to being paid what I know a proper nanny is worth. Yes there certainly are some nanny employers who properly respect this work and are able to financially meet it’s value, but in my experience they are few and far between. I have found that the overwhelming majority of nannies are severely underpaid and overworked.
Nannies are asked to have flexible schedules, work long hours, take on a laundry list of responsibilities, develop personal emotional relationships with children that aren’t theirs while keeping a professional distance, pay for and organise their own continued training, be emotionally and socially engaged with children all day long, and more. But above all, the most important aspect of nannying is managing our stress is such a way that allows us to stay in an executive state of functioning all day every single day. People deeply underestimate and undervalue the amount of hard and constant work it takes to keep oneself in an executive state of functioning day in and day out, especially in a high stress position where you are helping other people regulate their bodies all day on top of yours, AND are constantly sick and tired and being pushed and tested. I think that this ability is what makes the difference in a “good” nanny and is often the most overlooked, misunderstood, and undervalued aspect of the job responsibilities.
I want to be a good nanny, it’s my dream job to be the best nanny there is, and I used to think that I could accept being in an undervalued role because “it takes a village” and I wanted to do my part and this was my passion. But it doesn’t feel good to be undervalued financially and socially, in fact it feels really really bad, and this is why I will no longer be pursuing a career as a nanny. Even if I found my unicorn position, it wouldn’t change the fact that the overwhelming majority of my nanny peers are still underpaid and undervalued, and that doesn’t feel good. It makes me want to leave, and I think all of the other underpaid nannies should leave too. (We need a union or something, is this a thing?)
The market is oversaturated and undervalued. Not everyone needs a nanny now that quarantine is over (a full-time nanny, not babysitter or after school care). I have both worked at a preschool and as a nanny and I have found that a setting with multiple children of similar age is far better developmentally for a child than spending most of their time with a single adult and a sibling or two, even for young babies. I think a healthy mix of a daycare setting and family time at home is probably best but can be the most difficult to achieve with the current work culture. This is no one’s fault, the overworking culture is a burden of late stage capitalism that we all face. However, it is the burden of the parents to solve their work/life balance. This is a very big part of what one signs up for when becoming a parent. It is not the burden of the nanny to work more for less or the children to miss being with their parents (I’d say two doctor NP are pretty much the only ones who’d get a pass here).
It’s no one person’s fault that nannies are financially undervalued, the value of personal childcare and domestic work has a long saturated history fraught with misogyny and racism. Have you compared the average wage of a plumber (male dominated domestic work) to that of a nanny (female dominated domestic work)? And don’t tell me plumbing requires more training or is harder than nannying, I assure you they are of comparable difficulty especially considering there’s no step by step instructions on YouTube for nannying. (And if you do consider plumbing to be that much hard than nannying, what do you think gives you that perception? I mean as a parent, one should know that nannying absolutely is not just playing with kids all day, even if that’s all you ask your nanny to do. What subconscious bias could be giving you the perception that bringing up children is less difficult and of less value than screwing pipes together? Have you seen The Help? Don’t answer, just think.)
Plumbers make average $28/hr in the states, mechanics $26, for nannies it’s $20 (and that’s being generous). That’s a ¢70 on the dollar comparison. It is time we all realise that nannying is an underpaid and undervalued role and work to change that. If the wage being offered across the board better matched the value of the work, I think one would find a lot more serious nannies and a lot more current nannies taking the job more seriously.
I didn’t get it at first, why so many nannies at the park seemed so burnt out and disinterested in the kids. Oh boy do I get it now. I want nothing more than to do my best in this role, but in the past few months after nearly being stiffed by NP, not receiving a bonus from them when I really thought I would, and overall realising I am being taken advantage of and am a human mine to them, I have realised that I can no longer put my all into this job for my own health and sanity. Being properly compensated is the primary motivating aspect of all work especially in the society we are a part of. After loosing my sense of respect from NP, I’ve lost most of the non-financial motivation I started out with and am left with what little motivation my petite pay check gives me, and the kids can tell.
Since my fallout with NP, I have pulled back emotionally from the kids. I’m not mean and I am still doing every responsibility in my contract to the letter (and then some still), but I am no longer as emotionally available to them as I was. I am shorter and more curt with them, I don’t take as much time with them to sit and talk about every feeling they have, and I’m not working as hard to help them break the bad habits NP give them that NP specifically ask me to break (one example - NP want NK to walk everywhere with me but then always use the stroller with NP and every time we go out it’s a fight to use the stroller or not. Guess who’s been using the stroller far more often lately). Anyway, the past week my NK 3f has been quietly crying before her nap and I’m sure it’s because she’s felt me pull away from her. It’s breaking my heart and I’ve been trying to give her extra cuddles, but I have to protect myself first now. This is a job and these aren’t my kids and I can no longer rationalise putting them first emotionally especially considering I am burnt TF out, torn down, and left feeling used up and tossed aside without any recognition or proper thanks for NP.
I don’t know what the perfect number is, the number I would say many NP would probably think is too high, and maybe they’re not looking for a nanny who works as hard as I and others do. But I can tell you that $17/hr before taxes in a VHCOL area does not even come CLOSE. I think we can all easily recognise that the financial value of this job needs to better match the value of the work, in general and across the board. We’re talking about the people caring for and raising the future generations here, I mean how is this not the most coveted role in our society?
This is my Roman Empire and I will die on this hill every. single. time.

Hi I just came across a novel, chosen by the moon novel by izabella W. Its on pay by chapter websites, I've opened and read a few chapters but I can't seem to find any free version or chapter version anywhere. Please help. If anyone has read it I'm willing to take spoilers. Here's the advert I found below of it on Facebook.
Lycanthrope species is a disgusting race. And I, Delan Riley, am nothing more than a human scum in their eyes never expected those species would turn my world upside down. Since when the lycans managed to penetrate our town, like in the early 1900's we have a hierarchy, upper class = the lycans, middle class = mated humans, and lower class = the normal humans, who were basically considered scum. I endured their torment day after day, vowing to run away from them one day, until that day came and everything changed.
Dylan POV "Humans," I scowled at the principal's words from tannoy. "The Alpha twins will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow, as such, festivities are in order." Oh great, the Alphas twin children. Adrian and Arya are the worst lycans alive. I swear just because they are the alphas kids they literally get away with everything. If their birthday is tomorrow, then the wolves are going to be worse than ever. "All students will be present to greet them, two lines will be made, with humans on the left and the lycanthrope on the right. Any mated human will be at the front of the line for their year, you will all also be in order of your school year. That is all." Chat broke out the minute the tannoy was finished. "We haven't had a school gathering since the alpha king visited three years ago, before his sons coronation." Nick was right, the last time we all gathered like that was for the king and queens visit, when he decided to let the world know that he was to renounce his title to his only child, son Josh. "That sick bestard, he wants to make sure everyone is there so those idiot twins can find their mates." Yes I was mad, my fists connected with the table in front of me once more as I thought about how disgusting the situation was. You see the twins will be turning 17, so it's very possible someone in our school could be their mate, finding a mate is sacred to a wolf, the minute they say that one word your fate is sealed. They will turn your mind, morph you into being a lover of their kind, and then you'll give in.

That won't happen to me, I'm growing old to see the world as it once was, and I'm going to choose who I'll be with. No one will take that dream away from me.

Once dinner was finished, I just wanted to sleep. I'd had a very long tiring day, I quickly sat down on a small stool my mother kept in the storage closet and removed my shirt while my brother Freddy sat at the table to do his simple homework. It wasn't long before my mother came in with a large bowl of warm salt water and some cotton, this was going to sting I just knew it. She was here to help me with the wounds caused by wolves yesterday. She slowly began to unwrap the bandage from around my torso and slowed down drastically when it came to the final layer, I felt it peel off every wound and my fists clenched in pain. "Jesus!" I heard my mom exclaim once the dressing was completely removed. The air on my back was nice though and I sighed as my arm covered my once again exposed brests. "This is more than 15!" I began to hear sniffles coming from her and sighed turning round to look at her face, only to notice tears streaming down it. "Mom I'm fine, it's alright." She shook her head. "It's not alright, I'm your mother I shouldn't let these things happen. I'm so sorry. Your father would have..." here she goes again. Every single time something happened she'd always bring up dad, it really annoyed me because no matter how much we all wish he was here, he just isn't. My father was kiled by THEIR kind, almost 5 years ago when they actually managed to take over. When the lycans managed to penetrate our town my father rose up with some people from the neighborhood, to defend our livelihood, it was futile to say the least. We lost many people and I watched as my dad was ripped apart by two fully shifted wolves, I ended up shoting him to stop his suffering before they dragged me to the courtyard, i was the person to receive the first lashing of the town when I was 12! The wolves have been pretty strict with me since that day. "Stop being stvpid!" Was I harsh? Definitely! Did she need to hear it again, absolutely. "Dad is dead, we don't know what he'd do because he never knew this life. He never knew this world." I know what he'd have done, most likely attacked the guy who held the whip and got himself kiled in the process. "The best thing you can do for me, is stop crying and help me, next time don't insist on helping if you can't handle it." She began to wash my open wounds with the warm salt water causing loud winces to leave me, I knew it was necessary to prevent infection, but my god it hurt like a betch. "Some of these are really deep Dylan!" She sniffed again and my eyes rolled in my head. "I told you, I'm fine, just wrap me back up so I can get to bed." My mom was obviously more impacted by my injuries than I was, I suppose that always the case though. When it's happening to you, you've just got to get through it but when it's happening to someone you love, you just want to take their pain away. She quickly placed a fresh bandage around my waist and chest and wrapped it tightly for compression. The bowl of water that was used was now red in color, I guess from the blood my back was dripping with. "Can you keep your head down please? At least just this week. You can't take any more lashings." I simply nodded before standing up away from the stool, I walked over to Freddie and ruffled his hair in affection. "Good night squirt." He giggled and fixed his hair slightly. "Night Dilly." I smiled walking upstairs to my little bedroom, as soon as I was inside i shut the door and flopped down on to my bed on my stomach and I took a minute to cry to myself at the pain in my back, what my mom did was important but it hurt, not that I'd ever tell her. My hand covered my mouth quickly to muffle any noise I might be making. I couldn't tell anyone, I had to be strong because more and more people were crumpling these days, and my mom would break if she knew how much I was suffering. Sleep followed me shortly after, she was right though about me needing to keep my head down for the time being, I could not take another lashing! After a long night and an even longer morning, we were all finally stood in the hallway at school waiting for the twins to arrive. "Mine!" Everyone that was stood in the hallway tensed up, as we were seniors, me and Nick were stood towards the very back of the human line. All the mated people were situated directly opposite their wolf mates in their years. We stayed silent and still as Arya walked down the hall and stopped directly in front of Nick. His eyes widened in fear, unsure of wether to look up or keep his head lowered. "Look me in the eye, mate." He glanced at me slightly as if asking what he should do. "I said, look me in the eye." He slowly moved his eye line up to look at her face. I took a glance myself to see her eyes pitch black with lust. "I... can't... I mean... erm." Before he was able to mutter anything else, two wolves from opposite, grabbed him out of the line and dragged him behind Arya. "Hey!" My head shot up before I could stop myself. My mouth also forgot its place as I jumped out of line. Everyone's head shot to me as my eyes widened in realization at what I'd done. Adrian, the other twin, walked up to me before punching me right in the stomach, I doubled over instantly. Feeling the sting in my slightly healed back. "I know you... You were publicly flogged only two days ago." God I hate this guy. "I also have it on good authority, that you openly spoke out against our rules and regulations in yesterday's class." My head shot down the line slightly to see Erin, looking a little frightened, her mate, the beta to be was looking at her, nodding his head in reassurance. "You traitor, you grassed on your own kind?" I yelled at her before feeling a fist connect with my cheek. My head whipped to the side from the force, while my class members gasped. I'm so done with this treatment, right then, I wasn't in charge of my actions. My fists curled up and my stance became a lot more defensive. My head snapped up to the alpha to be, and I looked him in the eye. "You don't know the meaning of the word disrespect." I suddenly hurled my fist towards his head, which he easily dodged, but my foot came up and kicked him instead. He stumbled backwards from the force with wide eyes. "You... you Actually hit me!" He didn't even sound annoyed, more shocked. Everyone in the hallway was watching, waiting for the alpha to do something but instead he simply stood up straight, regaining his composure. "I think everyone should get back to class." He began to walk away, following his sister when I called him back. "What about Nick?!" "Simple, He's my sisters mate. He now belongs to her." Argh, he's not an object. "He's not her property." A chuckle left his mouth, before turning his back to me again. "All humans are property." A short while later everyone made it to science class, our teacher Mrs Mathews is mated to the lycans pack doctor, she also now has a four and two year old with him. She was one of the first humans to be cohered into a false relationship. "What were you thinking young lady?" I rolled my head at her before looking at the empty seat next to mine. Nick was with that stvpid wolf girl right now. Being changed, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. "I was thinking, this guy is being a prick. Did you hear him? 'All humans are property.' It's bull shet." I looked up and the whole class looked at me like I had three heads. Talking shet about wolves is one thing, but talking about an alpha is punishable by death, attacking an alpha is an even worse offense. There was then a knock at the door and in walked Erin and her band of mated bestards. "Sorry we're late Mrs." "Erin, how are things between you and bata Monroe?" She blushed, the traitor actually blushed at the mention of his name. "He spoke to me last night about trying for a baby. We need a good strong boy to take over as beta." I scoffed looking at her as she took her seat. "You guys are actually pathetic, why can't it be a girl? Those mutts are basically Neanderthals" I voiced my opinion and saw all the shocked faces around me. Calling the lycans mutts, is the same as them calling us scum. After lesson had ended the entire school was called into the hall for assembly. This is where any human who has been found to have broken the rules were punished, usually 10 lashings were goven out or something similar. "Welcome to the school assembly, congratulations to the alpha twins for finding both your mates. Now on to the business at hand, as the 5 year anniversary of the new world is coming up, we have been informed that the alpha king will be visiting our district next week, this is very exciting news. We want you all to look your absolute best, she wolves and mated females will wear exemplary dresses made by seamstress. Male wolves and mated men will wear tailored suits. Anyone who doesn't comply will be reprimanded." The Alpha King?! No one has met him yet, he took over the throne three years ago when he turned 18. He really didn't make any appearances though, great, this month is going to be a nightmare. "As for the humans, you will be given a new uniform to wear for the visit, these are to be neatly ironed and worn to the highest standard. As for the following humans, based on your attitude this past week, you will be coming to the front and facing punishment. Tony summerset?!" Tony's head shot up as he looked around, he was in the year below but he shared my views when it came to the lycans. He slowly walked up to the front of assembly, almost instantly his top was t0rn in two and he received 10 lashings. A girl named Kara was next and she too received 10 lashings. A few more people went up slowly accepting their fate then suddenly my name was called. "Dylan Riley." Inside I was terrified but I simply shrugged my shoulders, I guess I did kind of expect this. Although I'm not sure if my back can take any more damage. "You attacked an alpha, correct!" His eyes bored into mine as I bowed my head submitting to his authority. "Technically, no." Everyone in the school gym looked on in fear, as my head moved to the front row of the wolf side. Adrian sat, with a werewolf girl in the year below, her name was Jana, I guess he found his mate. Nick and Arya were no where to be seen though. Adrian gave me a shrug as if to say he didn't tell, before smirking at my comment. "He hasn't officially taken the alpha title yet, so he's just..." i looked at the principle and noticed his eyes black and his claws out, he was in what lycans call a half shift, triggered when the subject has become angered. He turned to two security wolves and gave them a nod, Almost immediately i was forced onto my knees, my arm was slammed on a table and held in place by one wolf, while my body was held in place by the other. "Ok, I don't think this is needed, I have alpha blood, a stvpid human girl can't hurt me." My head snapped to Adrian who had stood up in front of the school to stop what was happening. "Nevertheless, humans need to know their place." With that the pressure on my arm increased as our principals hand pulled my sleeve up before a long claw punctured my skin. The searing pain shoting from the fresh wound had my eyes scrunched and my fist clenched, I bit the inside of my cheek hard instantly tasting blood, however no sound left my mouth. He continued to write, using my skin as a canvas and his claws as a marker, it went on forever, my vision blurred slightly at one point as I turned my head away. After minutes of torture, he was done and the pressure on my arm eased, instantly I snatched my arm away, hissing through my teeth at the pain. I was about to scurry off stage, when I was roughly grabbed yet again, my arm being held in the air by the principal while my feet were inches off the floor, blood dripped from the wound and the pattern he had made was on show for everyone to see. Loads of people gasped, even the wolves looked slightly horrified at what had happened. "This is what happens when a human decides to speak out. I can promise, anyone who so much as says one word about our way of life, will have the same punishment." My arm was starting to seriously ache from being held in the air for so long, and the lack of blood flow to my suspended arm was causing me pins and needles, still I refused to make a sound. I held the tears back and I bit my cheek harder causing more blood to fill my mouth. "That's enough Bradley!" Adrian growled, he was still stood up and looking at the scene in front of him. His eyes hard as he stared at the principal a low warning growl erupted from his chest which had the head teacher gulping, he quickly let go of my arm causing me to crash to the floor. A small cry left my mouth as I hit the hard floor. Immediately I scrambled away, my foot just missed the high step leading to the stage and I fell, waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. Two strong arms wrapped around me catching my weak body causing me to look up, my eyes widened as I noticed Adrian had caught my falling form. "This isn't part of the human punishment program!" Adrian growled causing me to tense in his grip, I pushed him away from me before fixing my uniform top. The room was deadly silent, taking in the scene in front of them, while I stole a glance at my forearm. Carved into my skin by his devastating claws were two words, words that would most definitely scar my body for life. 'Human scum' "Lessons must be learned, she received lashing merely two days ago, and clearly it had no effect on her." Another growl left Adrian's chest as he stepped on to the stage, I wasn't bothered though, you would think I'd be ashamed but I simply smiled slightly. I fixed my sleeve a little so it wouldn't rub on the fresh wound before speaking. "It doesn't matter," the whole room looked at me shocked by my attitude. "I would rather be labeled human scum, than have any resemblance to your kind. I'm proud of what I am, how many of you can say that?" After my amazing little speech, I walked right down the middle between the humans and lycans and out the door. No more compliance, I'm going to get away with as much as I can without getting into too much bother. There will come a day when the lycans power will fizzle out. When it does I'll be ready, I'll be waiting for the day we take our world back. As for the best part about my plan...

No one can stop me.

"Ouch, not so hard." I seethed as the school nurse cleaned my new wound with antiseptic. "If you had of just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened." I turned to my right looking out the window at the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky. "Like I said, I'm proud to be human, and now everyone knows what I am." I clenched my fist together as the nurse began wrapping a bandage around my forearm. It had been a good few hours since the incident in the hall, and I had been forced to come to the nurces office after I had tried to clean my wound by splashing it with water from the tap, it also refused to stop bleeding. "You are impossible. Can you please just try and stay out of trouble? For one day, that's all I ask." Our school nurse is a wolf, she's one of them. However she hates the way they treat us mere humans, she thinks we should all just live in peace with equal rights. Like that would ever happen. "All I've done is stay out of trouble, but you are just going to humiliate me anyway, so what's the actual point?" "The pack were discussing a public execution, Dylan. You need to walk on egg shells from now on, not just for you but for your family as well." No ones been publicly executed in over 4 months, I'm flattered they're considering it. They only execute people who they believe are the biggest problems to society. "Well then... I'm flattered." I chuckled, before looking at the patch job. 'Huh, not too shabby.' I quickly stood up from the human nursing station and pulled the sleeve of my shirt down covering the evidence of ever being hurt. "This is serious!" I just gave her a blank look before leaving the room. On the way out I heard her call back to me. "Please just think about it." I gave a clipped nod as I walked away wondering how I'm going to tell my mom about this. Later in the evening... "Dilly why you say that?" Freddie looked up at me with a mouth full of bread. "Don't speak with your mouthful!" My mom scolded him as a bashful blush made its way to his cheeks. "Sowwy mommy." His reply was muffled as he swallowed the last chunk of food. "I said it Freddie, because it's the truth. The wolf race are a pathetic excuse for..." my mom cut me off with an extremely stern look. "Dylan! They have ears everywhere, one more word out of you and it's your room." I scowled, my hatred for the Lycan kind growing stronger as each day passes. "What more can they do to me, lash me? Beat me? Brand me? They've ran out of options." I stated slamming my hands down, then severely regretting it as sharp pain shot though my wound. "What was that?" My head shot to regard my mothers worried expression. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were dull and judging as she looked at me. "Nothing, it was nothing." I quickly took my plate in my hand and began to walk to the kitchen. "I'm not really hungry, and I have homework to do!" My mom caught hold of my forearm causing me to drop my plate suddenly, I watched it slowly fall before shattering on the floor. I retracted my arm quickly and turned to Freddie. "Stay there and don't move until it's cleaned up ok sport?" He just nodded with wide eyes, I turned back to my mom and noticed her curious stare on my arm. Her grip shifted to the other side as she turned it around before pulling my sleeve up. The bandage was showing and a bit of blood was seeping though after the wound had been disturbed. "What the hel happened?" My moms eyes widened as she began to fumble with the bandage. Before she could unravel any of it I snatched my arm away. "I had an accident at school. No big." I began to gather the large pieces of the broken plate up ready to put them in the bin. "What did you do Dylan?" She looked at me with pure worry and only then did I realize what the wound must look like to someone who didn't know. "For gods sake! I didn't do it to myself! I got publicly punished at the assembly alright? It's no big deal." Her face dropped instantly and she stepped towards me, causing me to step backwards. "Mom, I'm ok. So back off will you." "What did you do? I've never known them to cut someone's arm as a punishment." Her shock and accusation was evident in her voice and I sighed heavily. "I spoke against the alphas son." I may have hit him too, but I wasn't going to divulge that part to her. "It's not one big cut, mom, it's a brand, 'human scum' carved onto my arm." "They've branded you now too?!" My eyes rolled at her hurt tone as I went to get the dustpan and brush. "You're so much like your father." A sigh left her mouth as she spoke, running a hand through her hair, while I quickly swept up the little pieces of the broken plate. "You've had a new uniform delivered. It's laid out on your bed. Dylan, Please just try and stay respectful in the future, I don't want my daughter to be completely mutilated. Although you're not far off." "Gee, Thanks." I then walked over to my little brother Freddy before blowing a kiss into his neck and hearing him giggle. "So sport, how's school going?" "It's ok." He shrugged before going back to coloring a dinosaur picture in. "Well that's good, stay out of trouble, ok little man?" Heading upstairs and into my room, my thoughts wandered to the permanent graffiti scar very slowly healing on my arm. Disgusting beasts. Think they own the world because they're faster, stronger and can shift. Pah. If you ask me they are not all that.

The second I walked into my room my mouth dropped open. On my bed was some grey pants laid out neatly, which wasn't the surprising part, no, what shocked me was the grey high neck no sleeved button down shirt, every single set of uniform had sleeves except this one. They've done this on purpose those, mutts. They want the world to see my arm and know what a disgusting creature I am. They want the world to know that I, Dylan Riley, am nothing more than 'human scum'.

During the last week, I've been horrible, in class I've been loud in voicing my views, I've insulted at least everyone to some degree, I didn't care about the consequences, and I certainly didn't think about them. I haven't seen Nick at all since he was claimed, and to make matters worse today was the royal visit. Oh yes, werewolves and mated humans alike were spending every waking minute preparing themselves to meet his royal majesty, king of the wolves. Unclaimed Humans however would rather stick pins in their eyes. "Dylan, get down now... you're going to be late." She was right, I was dawdling this morning, I really couldn't be bothered today, I gave myself one last look in the small mirror and sighed when my eyes met my newly uncovered brand. It had bad bruising around the letters, and was still extremely tender to touch, it was definitely healing now though. I made my way down the stairs and came face to face with my mother who was seeing to Freddie, she was helping my brother get his coat on when she turned to me. "You ready sport?" Freddie nodded his little head at me and smiled while I quickly slid my shoes on. "Just Remember, the alpha is bad enough, Dylan, please, please don't do anything to anger the king." My mother stopped us from walking out the door to tell me something she had been telling me continuously for the last couple of days, it was almost as if the entire human population of our district was expecting me to do something stvpid. "Try and have a good day." I rolled my eyes but nodded, even I know not to push the king, he could kil me in the hallway like it was nothing. In fact I plan on staying out of his way for the entirety of the day. "We will see you tonight mom." I stated before me and my brother began our walk to school, his little hand clutched my own tightly as we went. Usually Nick would be with us, as he lives next door, well he used to, now he's residing in the main pack house. I quickly dropped Freddie off at his school and watched him get the wolfsbane neutralizer before walking into him building giving me a small wave before he went in. With my new scar on complete show, and my figure being complimented by the skin tight shirt I was wearing, I sauntered down the street to school, I gave my name and year in and took the wolf's bane neutralizer injection with no problems at all. It was finally getting into school that the problem occurred. Walking through the halls I was met by many looks, some of pity some of disgust. You see every single non mated human in the school was wearing a long sleeved version of the uniform I was given. All the Wolves and mated couples were scattered around in fancy floor length dresses or tailored suits. As I turned the corner I noticed a couple, now this couple happened to catch my eye the most out of all of them because it consisted of Arya and Nick, eating each other's faces off. "What the hel!" Nicks head shot to me as his eyes widened. He too was dressed in a tailored suit, a navy blue tie hung on his neck to match Aryas dress. Why was this happening all the time? It's always my friends that get completely brain washed. I shook my head in disbelief before turning my back on him. I heard his fast footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner. "Dylan?!" He ran right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, making me drop my bag off my shoulder and almost causing me to bump into him. "Let me just explain..." "Has she marked you?" I mean you could almost see it in his eyes, she had marked him, and knowing the way life goes he's probably even mated with her. "Actually... Don't even answer that." I aggressively picked my bag up off of the floor and stormed off down the hall. "Dylan, just listen to me, Erin was right, it's so hard to resist your soulmate, and Arya is actually ok once you get to know her." I just kept walking, he caught up to me walking beside me but it didn't matter, I completely ignored everything and everyone. 'I'm so not in the mood today' getting into class was good though, I said hello to Mr Foley and took my usual seat. Nick sighed then took his bag off ready to sit next to me, but I snapped before he had the chance. "Traitors and mated idiots sit on that side of the room." I didn't look him in the eye as I pointed to a seat right at the front of the classroom on the opposite side. His eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. "You can't be serious Dylan." I gave him a blank look before grabbing my book out of my backpack, I placed it on the desk then began to write the date on the top line. "I've sat in this seat for as long as I can remember." I ignored him, his voice sounded sad and shocked. "Dylan? Wait! What is that?!" Before I could react Nick had grabbed hold of my branded arm and turned it to see the letters. "Oh my God! What happened?" I snatched my arm away from him and shrugged as I continued to write in my book before grabbing my water bottle out of my bag. "The principal happened, it was my punishment for speaking out against Adrian and Arya. I wear it with pride." He just held a complete look of disbelief. "You spoke out against them?" I shrugged, what did he think I'd do. "It's no secret that I despise this stvpid new world and the mutts that control it. You were my friend, I wasn't going to let them just take you without saying something, although that is exactly what you seem to have done. Enjoy the view from your new seat!" "Don't be like that, Dylan, I'm your best friend, I'm sorry about your arm, but..." my eyes rolled inside my head at my friends words. "Anything with the word 'but' in, isn't an apology, it's a rationalization." I took a drink of water from my bottle and kept my eyes facing forward, ignoring his every attempt to try and talk to me. "Dylan?.. Dylan?... Do you know what? Erin is right, if you push us all away you won't have any friends left." He huffed before walking over to the empty seat and sitting down, I could feel him glancing up at me every now and again but I didn't respond. "Good morning class, please settle down." He looked at me then at Nick and frowned, we've never sat apart, we were friends before the new world even began. I just shook my head telling him to forget it. "So... as you know the king will be arriving in a short while, but until then lessons will go on as normal." Its funny seeing teachers in the same uniform your wearing, mr Foley and his wife are the coolest. Human teachers and doctors only have slightly more respect than we do. Because of Mr Foley's status him and his wife have better access to food and drink, Mrs Foley is cool, sometimes she even makes sure mr Foley brings some in for me. Ya know, coz I'm their favorite student. It's not in a weird way, it's just they were friends of the family before the new wold took effect. Mr Foley and my dad were buddies from high school, so it goes without sayin really. "All the mated humans will be at the front of each years line again, after that you will all be placed in status, Nick, as your mated to Alpha Arya, you'll be at the front of your line. Dylan as you have been branded..." his voice trailed off as he looked at me. "Yeah yeah, I'll be at the back of the line behind everyone. I get it." I huffed, moving my sight towards the window once more. "I am sorry." I turned to face Mr Foley again, he looked genuinely upset and that look of pity wasn't something I wanted to see. I gave him a clipped nod then turned away again. "Anyway, on to the subject matter, 'Of Mice and Men, page 64, Nick why don't you start us off with the reading."

"Of course sir." Nick began reading the book but I switched off, today is going to be a long day. After almost an hour and a half of reading comprehension, the bell chimed signaling lunch. I shot up and out of the classroom before anyone could say anything. Today, I was avoiding drama like the plague.

I wandered the corridors straight to the lunch hall. All the people I would normally hang out with we're all mated so I grabbed my lunch quickly, and sat down at the end of the human table. Let me lay the lunch hall out for you. On one side of the room you have two long rows of tables, with simple benches that make it look like prison, on the other side of the room you have multiple round tables with fancy chairs. Yup you get it. The humans sit at the prison tables and the wolves and traitors sit on the fancy tables, they get fancy food, fancy drink and most importantly they get pudding. what I would give to have some pudding. "Dylan can we just talk?" Nick quickly took the spot next to me as he set his lunch tray down. I looked at his food which had been placed on a ceramic, circular white plate. God that looked good. I sighed knowing he was going to talk anyway. "Fine, you have two minutes." I used my fork to take a bit of pasta off his plate and shoved it into my mouth. God that was good. "After I left school, I was taken to the pack house with Arya, and I really got to know her. It took a few days for me to finally accept being with her, but ever since life has been ok, and the sax... well that's a whole other story." Eww, I didn't need that mental image in my head. "I'm glad your happy." I stated before deciding I had no appetite. His face held shock before he sighed in relief. "That means a lot Dylan, I mean you know that your opinion matters to me." I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I said I was glad your happy. I didn't say I approved of what you've done. You've basically turned into one of THEM, I can't ever forgive you for that." He looked hurt, but I couldn't care less about his feelings. He placed his hand gently on my arm and went to open his mouth when a growl sounded out. All heads whipped to where it came from, Arya was stood holding a glass of soda and a plate, she was looking right at me and Nick and I would totally be dead if looks could kil. Nick quickly retracted his hand, his whole face fell and you could see sorrow flood his irises. "You sit with me now, get away from that, that... scum!" Wow, Nick was such a lucky guy. NOT. "You heard her. Get away from me, go sit with your new friends. I'm happy for you, and I understand where your coming from, but don't come up to me again and pretend you didn't betray your own kind. Don't pretend you didn't betray me." I shoved a little bit of food into my mouth before standing up and walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my tray on the table. I was walking through the hallway to the classroom, you see I decided to spend lunch with Mr Foley in his room, when I happened to hear voices in the corridor. "Is it wise for her to actually be present when the king arrives? Surely she could be placed in the dungeons, it might actually teach her some respect?" My principal was speaking to the alpha of our district, huh, if I stayed and listened do you think they'd notice, maybe they could smell me?! "Everyone is to be present, if the Riley girl does one thing out of line she will be dealt with severely, child or not. That girl has been a blight to the district since day one, she's dangerous, if she puts one hair out of place I will personally break her into submission." Oh shet, they were talking about me specifically, and they mentioned the dungeon, that's not been used in months. Normally I would have listened in more but something about the entire situation didn't sit right with me, all of a sudden, I was on edge, and simply wasn't interested in the slightest in hearing how my misery was to be enhanced. I backed up slightly before turning around and bumping head first into one of the hottest man I had ever seen. I lost my balance immediately and fell straight on to the floor letting out a small grumble in the process. His eyebrows knitted together quickly and his breath hitched in his throat as he looked upon my fallen state and gasped. "Mate!" He whispered, his eyes fixated on mine. Now, I had seen and heard that many times to know what that means, I gasped before taking a step back. 'No, no, no, no, no. This can not be happening.' He growled slightly before stepping towards me. Oh Shet!

Over a year ago, I was going through a particularly stressful time and went to my neurologist concerned that I was possibly having Medication Adaption Headaches (MAH aka Medication Overuse Headaches aka Rebound Headaches) or would develop them.
I was having a migraine or headache almost daily. I had been cycling through pain meds to avoid using too much of the same thing and too many triptans mistakenly thinking that this would keep me safe.
My neurologist didn't take any time to discuss why I thought I might be having MAH or what should be done if I was already having them. He did give me the prescription for Aimovig that I asked for, but also a recommendation and prescription for Panadol migraine (same as Excedrin migraine) which I had never taken before. The prescription wasn’t needed to get the Panadol migraine, but it was needed to have it reimbursed by my insurance. I thought because it is OTC in the US (which is where I'm from) that it would be better (again mistakenly) than taking so many triptans.
The aimovig was like putting a bandaid on a gash that needed stitches. I made it another year before I had an absolutely horrible flare-up about 60 days ago that led me to do my own research because my neurologist had failed me horribly and I decided it was most definitely MAH and I needed to detox.
The Detox
I quit taking all pain OTC pain meds and triptans for 60 days (as is recommended in most treatment guides). It took me roughly 9 days to have a noticeable drop in my migraines back to episodic. My migraines have lessened in severity and length over the last 60 days. Though the first week or so was the most challenging to get through, I also had hormonal migraines that were tough. The few other non-hormonal migraines I had later in the 60 days, I was able to clearly identify triggers for. This hadn’t been the case for me in the past. I've also now been able to abort a hormonal migraine with other methods listed here.
Other Options for Pain Relief
(for any meds or supplements always consult your doctor)
Ginger is a great natural painkiller. There is some BS study that says it is as effective as sumatriptan, it most definitely isn't and I'm not going to try to sell it as that, but I would say it is probably as effective as an NSAID. Unfortunately, I’m unable to get GCRP inhibitors where I am so I didn’t have other migraine abortive options, just this.
Benadryl (note: this is the brand name in US & CA, it’s different in Europe) helps me with migraine pain during an attack (sometimes even helps avoid an attack).
A TENS unit was very helpful with migraine pain, but also with cramps during my 60 day detox and I’ll definitely continue using it going forward.
Migraine Cap was especially helpful after the migraine to help with the residual soreness.
Migraine Relief Nasal Inhaler, hot showers, decongestant meds, and decongestant nasal spray* help me because nasal congestion is a major symptom for me. When the congestion is worse, the pain is worse. If I can relieve some congestion, I can also relieve some pain. So I use these as needed depending on the severity of the congestion.
*It is important to note that decongestant nasal sprays can cause rebound congestion if used frequently, follow dosage and warnings on the label.
Myofascial Release & dry needling - this isn’t so much for migraine pain, but it helps me manage back and neck pain that contributes to my migraines and helps me with pain management overall.
The Pain Relief Options That I Wish I Could Have Used or Tried
Balms and patches that you put on your forehead- personally my skin is too sensitive for it, I have tried in the past and it just makes my skin burn (but so does most sunscreen when applied to my face). I’m mentioning these because I think they are a great option for some people and as I was looking through this sub for more ideas of what I could use, they are something that I saw repeatedly that I wish my skin would allow me to use.
Celafy, Nerivio, and Relivion all looked like interesting devices, but sadly aren’t available where I am.
Heated eye massager also looked very appealing and should have been available, but the wrong item was delivered when I tried ordering it and I didn’t feel like trying my luck again. I will definitely get one when I go to the US.
GCRP-inhibitors - these aren’t available where I am so I didn’t have the option to use these as abortives while detoxing from pain meds. I definitely would like the option to be able to use these as abortives for migraines. One study did note they could cause MAH (this is listed below and linked) but there's no good research regarding this as they are so new. I just feel obligated to mention this.
About MAH
Please educate yourself. I have included links to sources. Consult your doctor if you think you might have MAH and advocate for treatment.
1 You have to add up your pain med use!!!
2 OTC Pain Meds+ Triptans + Rx Pain Meds* = 10 Days Maximum Per Month
*Opioids and butalbital may lead to MAH in about 5 days
3 Approximately 50% of patients with chronic migraine have MAH that may revert to episodic headache after drug withdrawal.
Chronic migraine is classified as 15 or more headache days w/ 8 migraine days a month.
Episodic Migraine is classified as 14 or fewer headache and migraine days a month.
4 The name for MAH changed a few times and the one I chose to use is focused on the mechanism that causes the condition rather than the name that sounds like it is blaming the patient (Medication Overuse Headaches). Here’s an article regarding the name dispute.
5 One article even listed GCRP inhibitors as possibly contributing to MAH. But as these medications are new, the research isn't there yet to say if they really do contribute. I just had found it surprising to see and felt obligated to note it.
6 Risk Factors

• Having a primary headache disorder such as migraines.
• Having other chronic pain or gastrointestinal issues.
• Being less physical activity (defined as less than 3 hours of hard physical activity per week)
• Smoking
• Mood disorders
• OCD
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Substance-related disorders
• Cutaneous allodynia 7 (Cutaneous allodynia (CA) is defined as pain resulting from application of a non-noxious stimulus to normal skin)

8 Withdrawal treatment does not only reduce the headache attacks, but also improves responsiveness to acute or prophylactic drugs. Withdrawal symptoms normally last between 2 to 10 days, and do not persist longer than 4 weeks.
Going Forward
I have a number of MAH risk factors including migraines, other chronic pain, anxiety, family history of substance-related disorders, being less physical activity (especially during the time that the stressful situation was happening), and cutaneous allodynia. Had I known about all of these risk factors and that alternating meds would not protect me from MAH, I would have done things very differently. I’ll have to be very careful to not develop MAH again, and actually am thinking of extending my detox because of my risk factors and some concerning statistics regarding allodynia in particular. For now I'm going to try to continue managing my pain with other methods while I can comfortably. Actually just last night I had a hormonal migraine that I managed to abort with a combination of things I listed here that just 2 months ago it would have been at least a level 4 with triptans.
When I do start using pain meds again, I’ll definitely be tracking meds more carefully and adhering to a strict 10 day max per month for OTCs plus triptans. I’ve made an annual tracker that you can print with the maximum days noted for reference.
To the Mods - I’ve noticed many posts with discussion related to MAH being removed. I’ve instructed others to consult their doctor thereby trying to adhere to the sub rules, please let me know if there is something else that might need to be adjusted in order to adhere to the rules.

[check my other updates for some context]
i failed by 4 points. i have to redo the entire year over ONE CLASS, and get another 100k into debt. i worked so hard to make friends, and after finally starting to get close to others, WHICH TOOK SO MUCH EFFORT, it seems all of the connections i made are as good as gone. i broke up w my partner bc i was made to feel absolutely unlovable and worthless, and they already moved on to dating others while im in the dust. i gained 40 pounds from the stress over this past year, so i cant even leave the house without feeling like a monster. i cant help but blame myself for all of this, and its true. but i dont want to be a self pitying sad sack either, i want to do something about it.
everyone else is traveling with friends and enjoying their 20s but i cant help but feel like the biggest garbage fire on the planet. my family is worried im going to hurt or kms (even though ive put on a tough face and havent been sad around them) so i cant even let them know how badly i feel or else theyre gonna freak out. theyve already been pressuring me to move back in with them and sacrafice the independence i was JUST able to experience at 23, and im worried i wont have a choice anymore. i barely had any friends from before med school, and i imagine less now bc i got so busy with my studies, i couldnt keep up. i feel like the worst person on the planet.
i dont know how everyone has this work study life balance figured out? i cant for the life of me! i dont have anyone to talk to, and no support system i can trust outside my cousin, and she has enough on her plate already... plus im ashamed to admit how much of a loser i am to her. i do want to die. but id feel guilty if i did, because my family is already dealing with alot of stress so i wouldnt want to add to that. not sure if you guys read my other posts but this downward spiral has been a long time coming. im sick of it. i want to turn things around but i feel so hopeless. i dont think anyone is going to read this, and i dont think ill ever share it w my loved ones. but honestly i dont think people turn to reddit unless theyre at that point. no where to turn, no where to go, no one who cares, even here in the void. i wish i was medicated again, but i havent been able to afford it. but maybe i can start somewhere...
here's what im thinking: im going to start by hitting the gym daily, now that i have time to do so. and im going to continue studying all summer to prepare for my retake exams, and my singular retake course. i have meetings all next week to get re-registered which is annoying but nessecary. i just hope i can post an update in a few months that isnt so pathetic, and have my life turned around by then. my birthday is coming up in august and im so scared im not gonna have anyone around me who cares that i exist. just like the past few years. but maybe thats what i deserve... i dont know. i gotta make a change now because this is driving me crazy.
do you guys have any suggestions to help me make the most out of this situation?? or at least to help with self esteem and self worth issues??? bc honestly the bad thoughts have become dehabilitating and im worried im going to relapse into a very dark place. thank you guys for taking the time to read this big word blob, and im sorry if its just me ranting or complaining. just had to get it out somewhere haha. im going to start my morning now and try to make the most of this summer. just bc i cry myself to sleep and first thing when i wake up DOESNT MEAN I GOTTA WASTE MY DAY DOING IT TOO 😂 bye for now, and any advice would be much appreciated!!

Jessie loved photography. When her high school formed a new photography club, she eagerly joined. One day, Mr. Thompson, the club advisor, announced a special project: documenting the town’s history. Jessie was assigned the old, abandoned mansion at the edge of town.
Excited, she grabbed her camera and headed out after school. The mansion, with its crumbling facade and air of mystery, had always fascinated her. As she approached, she felt watched. Shaking off the eerie feeling, she pushed open the creaky gate and stepped into the overgrown garden.
Inside, the mansion was a photographer's dream. Dust motes floated in beams of sunlight filtering through broken windows. Jessie snapped picture after picture, moving from room to room. In an upstairs bedroom, she found an old, dusty mirror. It was cracked but still reflected the room behind her. As she raised her camera, she froze. In the reflection, she saw a figure standing behind her. She spun around, but the room was empty.
Heart pounding, Jessie convinced herself it was her imagination. She continued taking pictures but felt uneasy. As she finished, she decided to take one last photo of the grand staircase. Focusing her camera, she saw it again—the figure, now at the top of the stairs, staring down at her. This time, it was a young girl in an old-fashioned dress, eyes hollow and dark. Jessie snapped the photo, and the flash seemed to make the girl vanish.
She bolted from the mansion, not stopping until she was safely home. That night, she developed the photos in her darkroom. The images were stunning, capturing the mansion's haunting beauty. But in every photo, the same girl stood in the background, watching her.
Terrified, Jessie brought the photos to Mr. Thompson the next day. He examined them, his brow furrowing. "These are incredible, Jessie. But the girl... she looks familiar."
He pulled out an old yearbook. "This is Emily Sinclair. She lived in that mansion and disappeared over fifty years ago. They never found her."
Jessie's blood ran cold. "So, what does that mean? Is she... a ghost?"
Mr. Thompson shook his head. "I don't know. But there's something you should see." He led her to a locked cabinet and pulled out old, yellowed photos. "These were taken by students in the photography club over the years. Look closely."
Jessie flipped through the photos, her heart sinking. In each one, Emily Sinclair was in the background, always watching. "Why didn't anyone say anything?"
"They did," Mr. Thompson replied grimly. "But no one believed them. Everyone thought it was a trick of the light."
As Jessie stared at the photos, she felt a chill run down her spine. She looked up at Mr. Thompson, but he was gone. The room was empty, except for her and the photos.
Suddenly, the door slammed shut, and the lights flickered out. Jessie felt a cold hand on her shoulder and turned to see Emily Sinclair, her hollow eyes filled with sadness and rage.
"You've seen me," Emily whispered. "Now you belong to the house, just like all the others."
Jessie screamed, but no sound came out. The darkness closed in around her, and she felt herself being pulled away, her camera slipping from her grasp. The last thing she saw was Emily's ghostly face, inches from her own, before everything went black.
When the lights came back on, the room was empty. The photos lay scattered on the floor, and Jessie's camera was gone. She was never seen again, just another victim of the mansion's dark history, forever captured in its haunting photographs.

Okay, people!! I have been meaning to ask this for while, especially seeing the posts from you dedicated achievement hunters and the lovely players who are devoted to their fave LI/story and replay constantly.
How long do you guys take to finish 1 Episode and then 1 Season of a story? And how do you find time to play RC during work/school days?
For me, I am a super slow reader so 1 Season of a story usually takes me a whole day, and that is on my free days where I have nothing else to do. A girl needs some tips cause I have so many books I want to read but I am unable to find the time to finish them 😮‍💨

She probably will never see this, then again I could be wrong. I kind of hope she does so I can say some of what I wanted to say, but instead we ended up arguing over things that are really not important and I wish I could take it all back.
In High School it started and I never told anyone, not even my best friend. You were the one, the girl who was in a relationship, the crush I always wanted, the one I wanted to marry and spend my life with, to treat with the most genuine respect and to love and cherish. The problem was you were taken and I respected that line, most people don't. Yet life just kept moving forward. I come to find years later that your life has been filled with trauma, neglect, abuse, filled with drama and hate, being used and taken advantage of. The things I would never let happen to you or do to you were happening or had happened, and it breaks my heart to see you so different than the one I knew all those years ago. But deep in there it's still you and I hope that I may one day bring you back to happiness and to keep a smile on your face and to show you how much you are loved.
After 20 years we found each other living together albeit briefly after some difficult and unexpected times. I tried to tell you how I felt, you didn't want to hear it. And then we did something together I never thought would ever happen, and it was something I had hoped would happen for so long. I will always remember it and think about it everyday, how incredible it was and how it still could be. Even the first time our lips locked I was in complete ecstacy, the way you kissed me was something passionate and real, not just another kiss. You really are amazing and so beautiful and I wish we could continue to become something more. Something beautiful. Something forever.
I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't stand being thought of as just someone else there to use you. I would never hurt you. I tried to find the words, but you shut me down, you distanced yourself from me, that hurt. I know things are tough and I was willing to do everything I could to help.
Maybe I sound like I am rambling now but just know this. I am sorry for how I left, for leaving you alone, for everything wrong that I may have done. I just want you in my life, by my side. Maybe one day that will happen but it is something you need to figure out. I will continue to wait for you. If you will have me, come to me. You'll be safe and respected, loved and appreciated. For now, I am setting off on the hunt for more money, to give myself a fresh start and that also includes you, as I told you during our time together. My hand and heart will be waiting for you to take.
Find me. Message me. Email me. Call me. Anything. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives.
I'm sorry J. I miss you. I want you with me. I want to hold you, hold your hand, to love you, to kiss you, to be the one you deserve. Hopefully we will find each other again. For now, just know im there thinking about you, waiting and going to do everything I possibly can.
Me.

Did I almost did something nasty while at home due to OCD compulsive checking?
Please note: I did not do this to satisfy the sick and digusting fantasy of CP. And I can assure you, I wasn’t looking or targeting children. I did it because of compulsive checking. And I’m sorry to those who were affected by this IRL.
Context: Last Wednesday night, while I was going to take a shower, I stripped off my bottoms only, leaving my school camp t-shirt on. I live in an apartment flat, above ground. The opposite neighbours are like 200-300m away from where I live, For some reason recently I now I have a habit of fidgeting my private part without wanting to jerk off at home or privately. While beside the window, I was doing it, then suddenly OCD said I committed a crime which might land me onto the sex offender registry. I’m scared children saw it even though the incident happened at around 10pm. I immediately went to shower after that, and keep on checking whether if someone saw it that night while touching my private part, and I keep on going back to the place where it happened.
Main story: And just yesterday I almost did the same thing at home, (accidentally again) except I didn’t unzip my pants and underwear, I did touch my crotch without again, no ejaculation, just to see if a part of the wall supporting the windows blocks out my crotch at my room in my house, facing a daycare center near me but I didn’t watch the kids while doing that and I, again, didn’t ejaculate and stopped doing it after self conscience started catching me up as I realised that this is the wrong place to do it and I closed the blinds right after this.
Fyi I already saw the psychiatrist and now waiting for psychologist appointment next month
I NEED YOUR HELP GUYS I DONT WANT TO BE A PREDATOR.
TL;DR: because I almost done something very nasty

First time posting so pakiintindi na lang.
We desperately need help at di namin alam pa ang gagawin. We are students of a known university na kung saan we are chosen to have an international internship/apprenticeship program in the US. This was way back in February 2023 nung napili kami for the said program. Dapat makakaalis na kami last November 2023 pa, but for different fucked up reasons eh namove ng namove up until May 2024.
Makakaalis na dapat kami, since may ticket na and Visa and all the legal documents. But 2 days before our flight, nalaman namin na hindi pala naaprubahan ng CHED ang aming internship/apprenticeship program. So everything was cancelled.
Now, our school is trying to save face since di na nila alam ang gagawin in order for us to continue with the internship. That is why they're trying to force us to get all our credentials from them and just graduate.
We have invested a lot on this internship (not financially); like the opportunities that we declined for this program, we also sacrificed not graduating on time for this (most of us are running for latin honors), and all the time and effort that we gave in order to continue for this program.
I hope someone can help us if we can sue the university for this.
PS. We have contracts and all that were signed by both parties.

She probably will never see this, then again I could be wrong. I kind of hope she does so I can say some of what I wanted to say, but instead we ended up arguing over things that are really not important and I wish I could take it all back.
In High School it started and I never told anyone, not even my best friend. You were the one, the girl who was in a relationship, the crush I always wanted, the one I wanted to marry and spend my life with, to treat with the most genuine respect and to love and cherish. The problem was you were taken and I respected that line, most people don't. Yet life just kept moving forward. I come to find years later that your life has been filled with trauma, neglect, abuse, filled with drama and hate, being used and taken advantage of. The things I would never let happen to you or do to you were happening or had happened, and it breaks my heart to see you so different than the one I knew all those years ago. But deep in there it's still you and I hope that I may one day bring you back to happiness and to keep a smile on your face and to show you how much you are loved.
After 20 years we found each other living together albeit briefly after some difficult and unexpected times. I tried to tell you how I felt, you didn't want to hear it. And then we did something together I never thought would ever happen, and it was something I had hoped would happen for so long. I will always remember it and think about it everyday, how incredible it was and how it still could be. Even the first time our lips locked I was in complete ecstacy, the way you kissed me was something passionate and real, not just another kiss. You really are amazing and so beautiful and I wish we could continue to become something more. Something beautiful. Something forever.
I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't stand being thought of as just someone else there to use you. I would never hurt you. I tried to find the words, but you shut me down, you distanced yourself from me, that hurt. I know things are tough and I was willing to do everything I could to help.
Maybe I sound like I am rambling now but just know this. I am sorry for how I left, for leaving you alone, for everything wrong that I may have done. I just want you in my life, by my side. Maybe one day that will happen but it is something you need to figure out. I will continue to wait for you. If you will have me, come to me. You'll be safe and respected, loved and appreciated. For now, I am setting off on the hunt for more money, to give myself a fresh start and that also includes you, as I told you during our time together. My hand and heart will be waiting for you to take.
Find me. Message me. Email me. Call me. Anything. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives.
I'm sorry J. I miss you. I want you with me. I want to hold you, hold your hand, to love you, to kiss you, to be the one you deserve. Hopefully we will find each other again. For now, just know im there thinking about you, waiting and going to do everything I possibly can.
Me

Please for the love of all that is holy, a group of regularly MA-players need to make a website with dueling guides to raise the game knowledge of people on the global servers, and specifically for global servers because the CN meta is different and has a lot more echoes and cards. Maybe someone with a lot of pull in the community like Kang/Bayonetta/etc. who can also promote it via Youtube to make the playerbase smarter.
We're 7 seasons into a game and people STILL do not know how to play in duels.
Every season on my road to MA I see:

1. Lunas who do not know how to hard counter Thunderstorm spam decks and who save for Thestral while getting killed by 10 million thunder strikes because they're too dumb to start using their echo ability to spam locomotor, crab, troll, whomping willow, and anything with high HP or an additional transformation phase like suitcase/yeti to soak up the thunder damage - meanwhile me in cover safely with nebulus and protego watching them die cringing internally since I know it's pointless and they'll die 3x without me being able to stop it because they don't know how to play Luna and if I throw my nebulus or protego on them and join them then it's an easy obscurus/whizbang/expulso/glacius etc. event. which would only set the team back even further as I would start taking damage too
   
2. Summon players who immediately start tossing out summons without checking to see if the enemy team drops Kevin and waiting it out to kill Kevin first to ensure enemy Snape can't do anything - if a Hagrid player is smart they don't even have to ban Snape past 8.1k since they can just tech in Accio, wait for kevin to drop, Accio kevin, kill kevin, and then GG as the Snape loses 80% of his damage since his echo is so ridiculously reliant on one companion. Accio can also hard counter Cassandra stalling but so many Hagrids I see bring no tech card for Cassandra or Kevin which is another sign of the playerbase being stupid and not understanding counters.
   
3. Players who have Protego in their decks but who save it for themselves solely and never drop it on their important companions (Cassandra, Daniel, Harry) or partners. If you have a vital companion like Daniel, Cass, Harry and have protego in hand, wait for 5 mana first so you can IMMEDIATELY RESPOND to any damage anyone tries to throw at your companion - but nope they just drop it and forget and then act surprised when their companion gets insta killed
   
4. People trolling with their decks and "testing" new or off meta cards when we all knew from the beginning that they're utterly worthless (ex. players unironically using Crystal Ball or Diabolica, or as I just witnessed yesterday, a stupid Neville in GM who was using KELPIE and BLUDGER instead of a standard dragon/crab/tree/etc. heal sustain deck - obviously my team beat the crap out of her and won in 2 mins and she did barely any healing to her partner and then I reported her afterwards for being stupid and not using meta Neville decks because I felt so bad for her partner who was expecting heals and sustain). Another way of trolling are the summon Bella players who have Bomb Box in their deck but only 1 or 2 summon targets (ex. monster book and manticore) which is an absolute waste of a card slot and absolutely ridiculous.
   
5. People trolling with their decks period and playing it as if it's another echo (ex. Luna players using both Snowball and Stupefy and then Pikachu facing when they find out they can't do anything against summon players - do you think you're playing Harry echo with the +50% extra damage to 3 cost spells you idiot?)
   
6. People who are so stuck in trying to make their decks "work" that they never try to adapt (ex. Hermione players who for 6 freaking seasons in a row still somehow think that 1 Sectumsempra in their deck is enough summon clear even though virtually every season adds new powerful summons to the game that further buff summon players (lol) like suitcase and mooncalf, and then who get really mad and blame others when it turns out that their lightning or whizbang spam can't kill Neville healers or Hagrid/Bella/Newt/Twin summon spam teams).
   

Even after reaching MA I STILL see people doing this. I'm starting to think Potions of Peace should only protect people up to Diamond because I'm sick of every season's climbing process watching all this cringe from the side as I rank up seeing decks that obviously have a negative win rate or can only go 50/50. It doesn't matter whether I face teams like this and get ez wins or have a partner like this and lose against a team playing meta; it's not fun either way because they don't deserve to rank up and legitimately do not understand the fundamentals.
The game knowledge is ABYSMAL still. I laugh when I see global players complain about the dreaded "Asian players" who they can't fight back against. In my experience, an asian name still in GM in mid/late season is a sign of a hardstuck GM idiot with negative win rate who has no idea how to play and no idea what echoes to ban according to his play-style, but who bought an account with high level cards. I 100% trust the people on global servers with Western/Anglo names more because in my experience 90% of the Asian players are brain dead and Luna players are easily the worst offenders for people who have no idea how to use their echo because 80% of them have no strategy other than "save for thestral; launch thestral, start saving for thestral again" even though summon spam with her echo ability is the reason Luna is a good echo since she can hard counter Hermione/Harry/Dobby/Bella by simply flooding the field nonstop with meta summons. And yet I can probably count on one hand the amount of Lunas who know how their echo works - when was the last time you saw, for instance, a partner Luna drop Pixies when she sees 3 incoming death eaters from Bella? 3 dead pixies and 3 useless crucios for 2 mana is an excellent trade but oh wait it turns out my partner Luna would rather the Death Eaters crucio her limited health and then try to frantically kill 3 death eaters with a snowball or stupefy (lol) so she can continue saving for thestral which she will inevitably miss against the enemy team anyways since they have broom/side along/obscurus/protego/etc.

In the field of psychology, advocacy is often as important as therapy itself. This is particularly true when it comes to supporting marginalized communities such as the LGBTQ+ population. One psychologist who has made significant strides in this area is Dr. Cassia Mosdell.
Dr. Mosdell, a licensed psychologist with over two decades of experience, has been a vocal advocate for LGBTQ+ students. Her work in this area has not only provided support for these students but has also sparked important conversations about inclusivity and acceptance in educational settings.
One of the most notable instances of Dr. Mosdell’s advocacy work occurred during her tenure at Shore Middle School in Piscataway. Here, she organized an LGBTQ+ awareness event and championed an inclusive curriculum. These initiatives were designed to create a safe and supportive environment for LGBTQ+ students, promoting understanding and acceptance among all students.
However, these efforts were met with resistance. Dr. Mosdell was allegedly fired from her position for her advocacy work. This incident highlighted the challenges faced by advocates for LGBTQ+ rights, particularly in conservative or traditional environments.
Despite these challenges, Dr. Mosdell’s work has had a profound impact. Her advocacy has brought attention to the unique struggles faced by LGBTQ+ students, highlighting the need for inclusive education and support services. Her story has inspired others to take up the cause, leading to increased awareness and understanding of LGBTQ+ issues in schools.
Furthermore, Dr. Mosdell’s work has underscored the important role that psychologists can play in advocating for marginalized communities. Psychologists are uniquely positioned to understand and address the mental health challenges faced by these communities. By advocating for their rights and needs, psychologists like Dr. Mosdell can help to create a more inclusive and supportive society.
In conclusion, Dr. Cassia Mosdell’s advocacy for LGBTQ+ students serves as a powerful example of the impact that psychologists can have beyond the therapy room. Her work has sparked important conversations, challenged prejudices, and paved the way for greater inclusivity in schools. While she has faced challenges along the way, her unwavering commitment to her cause is a testament to her dedication and passion.

I want to send a message to an ex after 10 years. How would you feel to get one after that amount of time?
I am a female in my earlier thirties and dated this person for maybe a year in my early 20s. We were so young, dumb, crazy and happy. I felt very loved, cared for and seen in a way I was too immature to appreciate. At that age we had chemistry and couldn't keep our hand off each other. He wanted to build a future with me and was in a rush but I wasn't. I wanted to enjoy the last of my youth before growing up and adulting. I felt we really connected on our aspirations and world view and I would have happily continued to date him, I was crazy about him.
However as mentioned he was in a hurry in a way I didn't understand. He had a lot more family, social and financial responsibilities and wanted to start building his life. I was still living at home while he was working multiple jobs to support himself while trying to appease his parents who were encouraging him to marry and settle down. He was a great boyfriend in every way, physically, mentally, emotionally, kind, caring, funny, smart. He did ask me to take steps with him to further our relationship eg moving out together but I just wasn't ready. People always tell you that you have so much time when you are young to figure things out, but when you get older you realize how special it is when you do actually connect with someone deeply.
So he eventually withdrew and I had that feeling something was off. Things fully ended after a wild weekend away where he was with someone else. At the end he also expressed how he no longer felt like he could be who he wanted to be in our relationship and how he had tried to wait for me but I hadn't reciprocated or taken any steps to further our relationship. We had different levels of ambition. He had a job opportunity in another city, moved and I never saw him again. I didn't take any of this well and was very emotional. I asked him to reconsider but he had to go. He wanted to keep in touch and that was a big NO from me.
Well I never heard from him again which was truly unbelievable to me after how he had pursued me and how I thought we felt about each other. So much so I doubted if our relationship was even real or maybe or if i had been had my a narcissist. When I finally picked up jaw up from off the floor, my ego decided I wouldn't reach out either. I am sure I was dramatic during this time as well. I am sure I would have blocked him, changed my number and cursed him out
As far as I know he moved on pretty quick to someone else and that was that.
And then out of nowhere a couple years later he sent me a well wishing short message and said I was he best he ever had. But again, as much as that was a compliment to me I just couldn't take it as face value.
As you can imagine that ripped my heart right out of my chest and I never replied. I told a mutual friend to tell him to pound salt.
Well, him leaving was probably the best thing he ever did for me because I wasn't able to be what he needed. As time has unfolded I realize just how much his presence taught me about life and myself. I am sure we both moved on.
I came across an old message from him recently ( about a book not about his feelings ) I felt the desire to send him a message. I am not unhappy in my life and I don't want to reconcile. I have had a partner for many years I am happy with. Just reflecting on life as a journey.
I don't want anything from him, I am not after a reply and I don't want to reconnect. After ending on such a bad note where I told him how shitty he was, I just simply wished he knew how powerful his presence was in my life during that time, some of the things/concepts he introduced me to still remain with me today. He touched my life deeply for the better and how thankful I am for things I learned out of that, and I hope he is somewhere out there living his best life.
Maybe this is for me and my story more than it is for him. Should I write the message and never send it?
How would you feel to get a message like this years later?