Stages in dating
DatingInIndia
2019.04.25 22:38 lightnh DatingInIndia
Dating disucssion, tips, guides, experience and whatnot. We know dating or online dating or any form of courting is itself a daunting task in India. Hope this sub will make it easier.
2018.05.11 00:35 RastaRhino420 ArtImprovedInStages
Art Improved In Stages
2014.11.04 00:18 Dating Over 30: Because dating is hard, no matter how old you are.
A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice.
2024.06.05 06:52 Remote_Use_5718 I’ve just realized how I deserve to be treated in a relationship and my bf is not giving me that
I (20f) have been dating my boyfriend (21m) for three years now. I love him with all of my heart and he is my best friend in the entire world. We have our issues with each other (I have a bad attitude at him sometimes and he needs to treat me better). We’ve been working on these issues for over a year and things haven’t really changed in that area. In the past year we’ve worked through those issues and tried to fix them but neither of us have been successful.
Last week at work, someone I graduated high school with (4 hours away) came in and we recognized each other. I found out he moved to my city in January and is doing really great in his career etc. We started talking about relationships because I knew he had been with someone when we graduated but I seriously have not seen him since and wanted to catch up. He isn’t with her anymore and we just got into talking about relationships in general. He knows I have a boyfriend and it hasn’t been flirting, just old acquaintances talking. We’ve texted since then about our lives and just talking to him and how nice he is to me and women in general is nice.
I’ve been on vacation with my family away from my boyfriend and I’ve heard from my hs friend more than I’ve heard from my own boyfriend and it’s been making me feel very unwanted. I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t appreciate me and what I do and he tends to call me pretty nasty names when I do something that bothers him. When we have sex he doesn’t really care about making me feel good and usually leaves the room when we’re done and sits on his phone. Obviosuly we aren’t in the honeymoon stage anymore and we haven’t been.
I don’t want to leave him but I feel like I’m finally realizing to the full extent of how bad I’ve really been treated. I love him so much and I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have him but I feel like I could deserve better. His grandma died recently and he’s been very emotional and closed off and I don’t want to leave him knowing that he’s in a vulnerable spot and I seriously would be so broken if we weren’t together but I’m a such a loss right now. I need super advice on what I should do and please ask questions if you have any.
submitted by Remote_Use_5718 to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
Last week at work, someone I graduated high school with (4 hours away) came in and we recognized each other. I found out he moved to my city in January and is doing really great in his career etc. We started talking about relationships because I knew he had been with someone when we graduated but I seriously have not seen him since and wanted to catch up. He isn’t with her anymore and we just got into talking about relationships in general. He knows I have a boyfriend and it hasn’t been flirting, just old acquaintances talking. We’ve texted since then about our lives and just talking to him and how nice he is to me and women in general is nice.
I’ve been on vacation with my family away from my boyfriend and I’ve heard from my hs friend more than I’ve heard from my own boyfriend and it’s been making me feel very unwanted. I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t appreciate me and what I do and he tends to call me pretty nasty names when I do something that bothers him. When we have sex he doesn’t really care about making me feel good and usually leaves the room when we’re done and sits on his phone. Obviosuly we aren’t in the honeymoon stage anymore and we haven’t been.
I don’t want to leave him but I feel like I’m finally realizing to the full extent of how bad I’ve really been treated. I love him so much and I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have him but I feel like I could deserve better. His grandma died recently and he’s been very emotional and closed off and I don’t want to leave him knowing that he’s in a vulnerable spot and I seriously would be so broken if we weren’t together but I’m a such a loss right now. I need super advice on what I should do and please ask questions if you have any.
2024.06.05 06:52 Beneficial_Way8193 TIFU by telling my girlfriend of a couple months I’ve had intercourse before
TIFU: This is my first Reddit post ever as I decided this would be a good thing to post and I need a little bit of help, I(17m) have been dating my girlfriend(18F) for a couple months now(2), our talking stage was about 7-8 ish months and it was all super duper perfect with minimal drama. Today we had an amazing day together and went to the gym. After the gym(us being very open with eachother and me thinking she was gonna take this information well) I made a joke about how actually nerve wracking putting it in for the first time Is. What I didn’t know is girls don’t talk and she didn’t know I wasn’t a virgin, I’m fairly certain she would’ve taken this information better if I had done it in a better circumstance. But she is Christian and is a “wait till marriage” kind of woman, which is perfectly acceptable and if I’m honest I’m okay with that as I feel intercourse isn’t even that fun nor even required. However she has been used in past relationships and (almost) brought to the point of intercourse by your typical sly high school males. But back on topic she got very sad and I originally thought it was because she wanted to be the first person I have done it with (which is a reasonable assumption in my eyes) however she thinks, or atleast doesn’t wanna believe but it’s a thought in her head, that I want her for her body like the previous few. I’ve tried my hardest to not put that image in her head to begin with as that’s a really bad thing around here( as in it happens a lot). I paused making this because we had a big conversation between “as in it happens a lot” and this current sentence and it’s going a lot better however I would still appreciate some sort of help as this is not a relationship I want to lose over soemthing as trivial as my past sex life from years ago TL;DR: I made a joke I thought was funny to my girlfriend and it ended up being our first major kerfuffle
submitted by Beneficial_Way8193 to tifu [link] [comments]
2024.06.05 06:50 ThrowRA_coworker99 AITA if I reciprocate with my taken coworker?
On an anonymous account just incase, but I’ll do my best to explain the situation. My (26M) coworker, let’s call her Christine (25F) is beautiful, funny, and ever since the first time we met we just click naturally. It’s honestly weird how much we have in common it’s like we’ve known each other forever.
Now the tricky part, Christine has a boyfriend. Because I knew she had one I never really thought about ever trying to peruse her or anything along those lines, I never really even thought I was flirting with her. Recently though, some of my other coworkers have asked me if we are dating or if something is going on between us and of course I answer no.
The coworkers that know her asked me today why she flirts with me so much and why I reciprocate when I know she has a boyfriend, to which I answer that I never really thought of it that way. I guess this is maybe because in my head she’s off the market so those kinds of thoughts are a waste of time? My coworkers described us talking as “2 new lovers in the first stage of their relationship” and it’s been in my head all day. I think she’s really great and is definitely someone I would date, but I also feel guilty now that everyone else has told me it looks like we are in love/something between us. I feel like a bad person because clearly others have noticed that I am flirting back with her, and after some reflection I realized I definitely was trying to flirt with her to get me to like me.
I understand this is generally wrong, and I have never cheated on anyone or been with someone that is taken. That being said, I think she’s really great and honestly sometimes when she talks to me it feels the same way as when other girls are waiting for me to ask them out or make a move I just never really thought too much about it because I just assumed she was a kind of flirty person or whatever. All of my coworkers male and female today told me that they have no doubt she is into me and they already thought something had happened between us.
Am I an asshole for even considering this? Internally I know I can never make a move first but what if she does? I can’t stop thinking about this situation and it’s really messing with my head. I know if I were the BF I would be devastated, but it’s hard to not think about it when she compliments and flirts with me to the point where my coworkers already think I’ve fucked her.
submitted by ThrowRA_coworker99 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Now the tricky part, Christine has a boyfriend. Because I knew she had one I never really thought about ever trying to peruse her or anything along those lines, I never really even thought I was flirting with her. Recently though, some of my other coworkers have asked me if we are dating or if something is going on between us and of course I answer no.
The coworkers that know her asked me today why she flirts with me so much and why I reciprocate when I know she has a boyfriend, to which I answer that I never really thought of it that way. I guess this is maybe because in my head she’s off the market so those kinds of thoughts are a waste of time? My coworkers described us talking as “2 new lovers in the first stage of their relationship” and it’s been in my head all day. I think she’s really great and is definitely someone I would date, but I also feel guilty now that everyone else has told me it looks like we are in love/something between us. I feel like a bad person because clearly others have noticed that I am flirting back with her, and after some reflection I realized I definitely was trying to flirt with her to get me to like me.
I understand this is generally wrong, and I have never cheated on anyone or been with someone that is taken. That being said, I think she’s really great and honestly sometimes when she talks to me it feels the same way as when other girls are waiting for me to ask them out or make a move I just never really thought too much about it because I just assumed she was a kind of flirty person or whatever. All of my coworkers male and female today told me that they have no doubt she is into me and they already thought something had happened between us.
Am I an asshole for even considering this? Internally I know I can never make a move first but what if she does? I can’t stop thinking about this situation and it’s really messing with my head. I know if I were the BF I would be devastated, but it’s hard to not think about it when she compliments and flirts with me to the point where my coworkers already think I’ve fucked her.
2024.06.05 06:28 ThrowRA_coworker99 My (26M) taken coworker (25F) flirts with me everyday and I developed a crush. Any advice?
On an anonymous account just incase, but I’ll do my best to explain the situation. My (26M) coworker, let’s call her Christine (25F) is beautiful, funny, and ever since the first time we met we just click naturally. It’s honestly weird how much we have in common it’s like we’ve known each other forever.
Now the tricky part, Christine has a boyfriend. Because I knew she had one I never really thought about ever trying to peruse her or anything along those lines, I never really even thought I was flirting with her. Recently though, some of my other coworkers have asked me if we are dating or if something is going on between us and of course I answer no.
The coworkers that know her asked me today why she flirts with me so much and why I reciprocate when I know she has a boyfriend, to which I answer that I never really thought of it that way. I guess this is maybe because in my head she’s off the market so those kinds of thoughts are a waste of time? My coworkers described us talking as “2 new lovers in the first stage of their relationship” and it’s been in my head all day. I think she’s really great and is definitely someone I would date, but I also feel guilty now that everyone else has told me it looks like we are in love/something between us. I feel like a bad person because clearly others have noticed that I am flirting back with her, and after some reflection I realized I definitely was trying to flirt with her to get me to like me.
I understand this is generally wrong, and I have never cheated on anyone or been with someone that is taken. That being said, I think she’s really great and honestly sometimes when she talks to me it feels the same way as when other girls are waiting for me to ask them out or make a move I just never really thought too much about it because I just assumed she was a kind of flirty person or whatever. All of my coworkers male and female today told me that they have no doubt she is into me and they already thought something had happened between us.
Am I a terrible person for even considering this? Internally I know I can never make a move first but what if she does? I can’t stop thinking about this situation and it’s really messing with my head.
submitted by ThrowRA_coworker99 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Now the tricky part, Christine has a boyfriend. Because I knew she had one I never really thought about ever trying to peruse her or anything along those lines, I never really even thought I was flirting with her. Recently though, some of my other coworkers have asked me if we are dating or if something is going on between us and of course I answer no.
The coworkers that know her asked me today why she flirts with me so much and why I reciprocate when I know she has a boyfriend, to which I answer that I never really thought of it that way. I guess this is maybe because in my head she’s off the market so those kinds of thoughts are a waste of time? My coworkers described us talking as “2 new lovers in the first stage of their relationship” and it’s been in my head all day. I think she’s really great and is definitely someone I would date, but I also feel guilty now that everyone else has told me it looks like we are in love/something between us. I feel like a bad person because clearly others have noticed that I am flirting back with her, and after some reflection I realized I definitely was trying to flirt with her to get me to like me.
I understand this is generally wrong, and I have never cheated on anyone or been with someone that is taken. That being said, I think she’s really great and honestly sometimes when she talks to me it feels the same way as when other girls are waiting for me to ask them out or make a move I just never really thought too much about it because I just assumed she was a kind of flirty person or whatever. All of my coworkers male and female today told me that they have no doubt she is into me and they already thought something had happened between us.
Am I a terrible person for even considering this? Internally I know I can never make a move first but what if she does? I can’t stop thinking about this situation and it’s really messing with my head.
2024.06.05 06:24 blueishbeaver MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC - This Week from Wednesday to Sunday - Brisbane's BEST Guide!
Hey Brisbane!
From TONIGHT to Sunday, the 9th of June we have a little bit of everything. There's some Cuban and Latino, a lot of Jazz and even a Sitar player. Beauty and the Beast is closing at QPAC, Sky Ferreira is playing tonight at the Princess and my broke ass is going to miss it. Everything is Embarrassing - or just my wallet?Speaking of which, feel free to chuck a gold coin in to my PayPal if this guide has kept you occupied. It's much appreciated.
Alright, stay safe out there, don't drink and drive - above all else, enjoy yourselves!
Party on, music lovers!
THE JUNK BAR https://www.thejunkbar.com.au/events/ Open Mic Wed 5 - 1900 Free
Rearranging Deckchairs Thu 6 - 1900 From $10
Moths To A Flame + DADCAM & Massive Luxury Fri 7 - 1900 From $15
Hannah Everingham Sun 9 - 1700 From $32
Princess Theatre https://theprincesstheatre.com.au/events Sky Ferreira Wed 5 Jun - 1930 From $75
~~The Animals - SOLD OUT Thu 6 Jun - 1900 From $79.90~~
DICE Fri 7 Jun - 1900 From $44.95 Selling Fast
Slumberjack Sat 8 Jun - 1900 From $40
Tivoli https://thetivoli.com.au/events
Two Another Thu 6 Jun - 1900
Elefant Traks Sat 8 Jun - 1900 From $85 Few Tickets Left
Rob Schneider Sun 9 June - 1800 From $79.90
Fortitude Music Hall https://thefortitude.com.au/event/
X-Club Sun 9 Jun - 1530 From $49.90
The Triffid https://thetriffid.com.au/upcoming-gigs/ THE OCEAN (GER), CAVE IN (USA), LLNN (DK) Wed 5 - 1900 From $80
TINARIWEN Thu 6 - 1930 From $75
SUNDOWNERS W/ DAVIDE DC FREE ENTRY Fri 7 - 1730
VOXNEON Fri 7 - 2000 From $35
HIGHER GRND PRESENTS: ALIX PEREZ Sat 8 - 1900 From $66
TEENY TINY STEVIES FAMILY FUN Sun 9 - 1000 From $41
ALY & FILA, BRYAN KEARNEY Sun 9 - 1500 From $88
SUNDAY GARDEN RESIDENCY HOLY SMOKES & FRIENDS Sun 9 - 1530 Free Entry Music from 3pm – 6pm All Ages Doggo friendly
The Zoo https://www.thezoo.com.au/ ~~Zoo Love~~ Sold Out ~~Fri 7 - 1800~~
UNLEASH THE ARCHERS - Debut Australian Tour 2024 Sat 8 Jun - 1900 From $67
Bar Italia Thu 6 - 1900 From $55
THE VIBE HOUSE Fri 7 - 1900 From $15
Black Bear Lodge https://blackbearlodge.ba Black Bear Lodge's 13th Birthday with Life on Earth, Squidgenini, Pipin, Simi Lacroix, Dublin Rose, Saik, Natrual Steps DJ's Sat 8 - 1800 From $24.50 or $30 OTD
Heavensgate 'The Ratking' Australian Tour Sun 9 - 1900 From $29
The Bearded Lady https://www.thebeardedlady.com.au/gigs Jimi Beavis + band in the front bar! Wed 5 - Music from 1930 Free entry
Liam Conor and Co: A Jazz Exploration - Vol. 5 Thu 6 - 1930 Entry $5
Gentle Ben & His Shimmering Hands Fri 7 - 1930 Entry $20
Arvo (1400): Harvey Blues and the Keitels Night: Secret Headliner Sat 8 - Music from 1400 Entry $10 OTD
Arvo: Gypsy Jazz Sundays Sun 9 - 1400 - 1600 Entry $10 (100% to band) Night: The Trams Sun 9 - 1900 - 2200 Entry $20 OTD
Diffuszed Studios https://www.diffuszedstudios.com/whats-on Freestyle Fridays Fri 7 - 2000 Entry $25 OTD
Hosting the OUTRA Breakfast, Sun 9 June From 330am ~~50 Tickets Only ~~ SOLD OUT
Lefty's Music Hall https://leftysmusichall.com.au/gig-guide/ Fri 7: Open from 1700 Jordan Hill from 1830 Smashing Bumpkins from 2200
Sat 8: Open from 1700 Graham Moes from 1830 Brother's Hill Band from 2200
The Cave-Inn https://www.thecaveinn.net/upcoming-events Close Enough for Country Sun, 1600 - 2100 Weekly country, blues, folk, rock, eclectic open mic night.
TomCat Bar https://www.tomcatbris.com.au/ https://www.facebook.com/TomcatBris/ The Press Live ft. Arvo Haze and Caravan Thu 6 - Doors @ 1900 Free
Friday - Free Music - Unknown Act
The Sunday Estate "London in October" Tour Sat 8 - 1900 From $11.90
On The Moss Sun 8 - 2000 Free?
The Brightside Brisbane https://www.thebrightsidebrisbane.com.au/events ACCESS ALL AREAS BAND COMP - HEAT 3 Wed 5 - 1900 FREE
Kevin Devine Thu 6 - 1900 From $50
Drunk Mums 'Beer Baby' Album Tour Fri 7 - 1900 From $29
OUTRA Sat 8 - 1500 From $58
WHAT TO EXPECT:
◾ Massive 12.5 hour open air day/night session ◾ Indoor afterparty hosted by Love Camp ◾ A unique house & techno experience ◾ State of the art custom visuals ◾ Interstate & local artists ◾ Live Performances ◾ Custom light show ◾ Inner city location ◾ Custom stage ◾ Pyrotechnics ◾ Laser show
LINEUP (Open air + indoor session):
◾️ JOHN BAPTISTE (Stone Seed - Mebourne) ◾️ Christopher Brooks ◾️ Christian Kerr ◾️ Lanecaster ◾️ Ross Kent ◾️ Paul Abad ◾️ Sequënce ◾️ Butterz ◾️ Wilma ◾️ Apró
Monkey Spanner 8 Piece Ska Band w/ Fiesta Fiasco & Seven of Ska Sat 8 - 1900 From $49
vaultboy (usa) Australian Tour 2024 Sat 8 - 1900 From $55
Felons Barrel Hall https://felonsbrewingco.com.au/blogs/whats-on Squidgenini, Dan Mumbles, Aidan Beiers & Keno Kowboy Fri 7 - 1930 FREE
10 Years of Birdman Randy & The Ivory Street Preachers Sat 8 - 2000 FREE
EL TIMBON - TIMBA, SONGO, and SALSA. Sun 1500 FREE
Doo-Bop Bar https://doo-bop.com.au/ Live music Tues - Sun night from 1900 Special Guests, free entry: Fri from 2100 - Superfry'd Sat from 2100 - Heidi Kaal Band
Ticketed events this week: Fri: Queensland Youth Orchestra Big Band Doors at 1800, Tickets $25
Sat: Andy Dashwood presents, “Songs that Cash taught me” Doors at 1800, Tickets $25
QPAC https://www.qpac.com.au/whats-on?dateFrom=2024-06-05&dateTo=2024-06-09 Beauty and the Beast - Closing 9 June! Tickets from $60
Axion Esti and Masterworks Wed 5 - 1900 From $89
Missy Higgins Thu 6 - 1930 From $140
The Lost Birds - QLD Symphony Orchestra Sat 8 and Sun 9 From $76
'Not My Body' Cozy House Party by Worm Girlz Sat 8 - 1400 - 1800 From $10 https://www.facebook.com/events/806714641049341/
Piano Wizard Andrew Farrel Chattanooga Jazz Bar https://chattanoogajazzbar.com 6 Jun - 1830
Brisbane Jazz Club https://brisbanejazzclub.com.au/programs/ Jazz Singer's Jazz Night Thu 6 - 1900 From $35
Valtozash Sun 9 - 1430 From $45 Adult https://www.facebook.com/events/788405020056539/
MISERY SWIFTNESS - SWEMO NIGHT THE WICKHAM https://tickets.oztix.com.au/outlet/event/8ec90197-be31-4503-84a2-7ae7cced7f17 Sat 8 - 2100 From $22
East's Leagues Club https://eastsleagues.com.au/whats-on/live-music Greg Wall Sat 8 - 1830 Buster's Duelling Piano's Sun 9 - 1500
JMI Live https://www.jazz.qld.edu.au/jmi-live/ Good Bait Trio Thu 6 - 1930 From $20
Foco Nuevo - Sitar, Latin American Fri 7 - 1800 Entry $15 OTD https://www.facebook.com/events/1000616735028096/
Mark Bono Archive Beer Boutique Fri 7 - 1900 Free https://www.facebook.com/events/1803736790111906/
Beach House CBD Sat 8 - 1730 Free https://www.facebook.com/events/454897097199092/
Finn McCool's https://finnmccools.com.au/brisbane/ Free Entry
Brooksi Fri 7 - 1730 https://www.facebook.com/events/465846455891835/
Rob Black Sat 8 - 1730 https://www.facebook.com/events/475295811691507/
Tales of Strangers Sun 9 - 1730 https://www.facebook.com/events/1265902784384652/
Friday Croonin w Tony Dee EclecTea, Brighton Fri 7 - 1700 https://www.facebook.com/events/727141275848512/
Tracey Hammell Hope and Anchor Sun 9 - 1500 Free https://www.facebook.com/events/3473622522930207/
Club Southside (Gambling Content Warning) https://www.clubsouthside.com.au/whats-on Mick Evans Fri 7 - 1800 https://www.facebook.com/events/392942680396689/
Paul Kerin Sat 8 - 1800 https://www.facebook.com/events/465846455891835/
Jazz on the Street ft. The Liars The Eclectic Mix Fri 7 - 1800 https://www.facebook.com/events/465169502629875/
The DangerMen, The Prehistorics, 7ft Sooks PFR Lounge Fr 7 - 1900 Entry $15 OTD https://www.facebook.com/events/797314425656798/
Kirtan with Friends ft. Shivam Rath SOBA West End Sat 1800 From $15 https://www.facebook.com/events/901946745019599/
BrizWest Ensembles Presents: Soundtracks Rainworth State School - Bardon Sun 9 - 1400 Entry Gold Coin https://www.facebook.com/events/1559420954995300/
Cardigan Bar Sandgate https://cardiganbar.com.au/shows
Thu 6 1900 - Open Mic Fri 7 1930 - Danny Jazz and Friends Sat 8 1500 - Traditional Irish & Popular Folk Music with Blarney Stone Sun 9 1600 - Asleep at the Reel
See you next week!
2024.06.05 06:17 AnUn-UniqueUsername I’m tired of not doing it His way
Hello everyone, I’m a 34 y/o male who was raised in church and kept a relationship with Christ throughout my life. At some stages I was really close with Him but at others I strayed.
After a recent breakup, I turned to God because the pain was so severe. It made me realize that I don’t want to keep repeating the same cycle because I’ve done it before and it’s excruciating. I’ve learned a lot but one thing I have no idea what to do is date with the intention of being a Godly man.
I have never had an issue with finding others to date, and I’ve been in many relationships over the years but there has never been a time in my life where I didn’t start it out fully aware and selective. My whole approach to dating is now thrown off and I don’t know how to handle it!
Secular me would be chatting with girls on dating apps or in person, quickly ask them out and show them a great time. I’d likely then commit sin of the flesh so I felt some connection in my life and then we would continue on for a short or long time. Everyone I’ve dated consistently has enjoyed our relationship all around, sometimes compatibility wasn’t really there.
And that’s what I’m realizing. The compatibility needs to be there in the first place and I want a woman of faith as my partner. But now I have no idea how to even approach from that angle with dating? I was talking to a woman on an app and I almost felt like I was being too sweet and not as flirty as I might’ve been with someone who didn’t say they were Christian.
I don’t really know what I’m asking. I guess I’m just trying to be more wholesome in my dating life and I feel like a fraud even though I’m a genuinely kind person who gives their all and has good communication skills in relationships. Any tips or guidance for not letting my past ways mess up my future dates? I also don’t want to be too standoffish and not flirt a bit to show my interest. I honestly feel like I’m a teenager again trying to figure out the dating world when I had it all worked out before. The past only led to heartbreak so I figured I’d start differently this time.
Thanks!
submitted by AnUn-UniqueUsername to ChristianDating [link] [comments]
After a recent breakup, I turned to God because the pain was so severe. It made me realize that I don’t want to keep repeating the same cycle because I’ve done it before and it’s excruciating. I’ve learned a lot but one thing I have no idea what to do is date with the intention of being a Godly man.
I have never had an issue with finding others to date, and I’ve been in many relationships over the years but there has never been a time in my life where I didn’t start it out fully aware and selective. My whole approach to dating is now thrown off and I don’t know how to handle it!
Secular me would be chatting with girls on dating apps or in person, quickly ask them out and show them a great time. I’d likely then commit sin of the flesh so I felt some connection in my life and then we would continue on for a short or long time. Everyone I’ve dated consistently has enjoyed our relationship all around, sometimes compatibility wasn’t really there.
And that’s what I’m realizing. The compatibility needs to be there in the first place and I want a woman of faith as my partner. But now I have no idea how to even approach from that angle with dating? I was talking to a woman on an app and I almost felt like I was being too sweet and not as flirty as I might’ve been with someone who didn’t say they were Christian.
I don’t really know what I’m asking. I guess I’m just trying to be more wholesome in my dating life and I feel like a fraud even though I’m a genuinely kind person who gives their all and has good communication skills in relationships. Any tips or guidance for not letting my past ways mess up my future dates? I also don’t want to be too standoffish and not flirt a bit to show my interest. I honestly feel like I’m a teenager again trying to figure out the dating world when I had it all worked out before. The past only led to heartbreak so I figured I’d start differently this time.
Thanks!
2024.06.05 06:01 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update] - AITA for yelling at my SIL at my wedding and telling her no one cares that she is pregnant
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Ordinary-Coffee-2353
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes
Previous BoRU
[New Update] - AITA for yelling at my SIL at my wedding and telling her no one cares that she is pregnant
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Trigger Warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, enabling, obsessive behavior
RECAP
Original Post: February 20, 2024
Sorry everyone, my story was duplicated in my previous post, hopefully it was fixed
TLDR: I yelled at my SIL at my wedding that no one cares that she is pregnant after she repeatedly trued to take the attention off of my husband and I.
My husband (30 m) and I (26f) got married during covid. We couldn’t have a big ceremony because of restrictions, and unfortunately my family couldn’t be present as they live in a different country. With restrictions finally lifted, we decided to have a more traditional ceremony in my home country with my family. My husband’s family came, his parents, some friends, cousins and his sister (32 f, we’ll call her Sara) and her husband (28 m, we’ll call him Matt).
Sara and Matt live on the other side of the US than the rest of the family. They had their wedding a couple of months back in their home state, and ever since then when we have a conversation, even without our wedding coming up, Sara would say that she and Matt are planning to get pregnant on the trip for my husband and I’s wedding. No big deal, I just made sure to tell her that she needs to ovulate for that to happen, but other than that I could not care less. What started to get annoying, is when we were talking about all the activities/ excursions people wanted to do so could go ahead and book it, Sara would always say “Make sure there’s is enough time for Matt and I at the hotel so we can get busy making our baby.” Again, kind of gross, a little annoying, but whatever, they are grown ups.
About a week before we all leave to go to my home country, Sara and Matt arrive in our home state to spend time with family as they rarely see them. My husband and I, his parents, and my husband’s brother and sister in law are sitting chatting, when Sara blurts out she is pregnant. We all get really excited, congratulate them and saying how happy we are. We start asking some questions, and Sarah says she is 2 weeks pregnant. Everyone kind of loses a little bit of excitement and say wow, that’s really early, we suggest to wait before telling other people, just as a lot can happen. People usually dont even know they are pregnant until at least 6 weeks, and even then they are encouraged to wait until after the first trimester to tell people. My BIL and SIL were very happy and excited for them, but cautioned them even more as they have experienced multiple miscarriages before having their first child.
Matt replied by saying they are only telling the people closest to them, eg his parents, her parents and her siblings, no one else since it is so early. Well the next day, Sara had called her great uncle and his wife over for drinks and decided to tell them too, called her one aunt and uncle and told them, and by the end of the day basically the entire extended family knew, as well as some of her mom’s friends which stopped by the house and Sara told. With each person Sara told Matt got more agitated, as they had agreed to only tell a select few people. Matt finally gave up and asked her why she doesn’t just post it on Facebook as it will be quicker, to which she replied, she wants to, but she think it will be frowned upon.
My husband came to me and said it feels like she is trying to draw the attention away from us and our wedding, as she is known to do anything and everything to have the spotlight on her. I said to not worry about it, as when we are in my home country, she isn’t going to know many people so she wont say anything.
He agreed, but went to his parents and told them what he was feeling, and asked if they could politely suggest that she keep it to herself when we left for the trip. They agreed that it was valid for him to feel that way, as they know she hates it if the focus is not on her.
Anyway, we leave for the wedding and I see my mom for the 2nd time in 5 years. Obviously it was a very emotional reunion, but we wiped off our tears quickly and sat down for a meal with my husband’s family. After I introduced her to everyone, the waiter take our order and the first thing Sara says to my mom is, your daughter probably already told you, but I won’t be drinking this trip. My mom says that its no problem, you dont have to drink to have fun, and that Sara will still have fun, even if she chooses not to drink. Sara interrupts my mom to tell her its not by choice that she is not drinking, but that she is pregnant. (Keep in mind this is 10 minutes after she met my mom) my mom says congratulations and keeps on with another conversation. Sara intterupts my mom again and tells her how she is 2 weeks pregnant and just so excited. My mom ( who is in medicine) then tells Sara the same thing we did, that she should probably wait until she is in her second trimester to tell people, and Sara completely ignores her.
The same thing happens with my aunt, cousins, uncles, sister and grandparents, all of whom she had never met before.
My husband yet again speaks to his parents and ask them to please tell her to keep it private because it feels as though she is purposefully trying to take the attention away from our wedding. They say they will talk to her. Matt actually comes up to us and apologizes, by saying he agrees that it has gotten out of hand and that the number of people that know is way more than the number they agreed upon.
Fast forward, we are sitting eating while we wait for one of our excursions. A family that I lived with for 3 when I first moved to my husband’s country flew out for the wedding and met up with us for lunch. They have never met my SIL. The wife and I are talking about the wedding and all the arrangements, while my SIL sits across from us and listens to the conversation. My husband orders some shots for everyone at the table, when his mom says she doesn’t want one so he tells the server minus 1. My SIL hears him ordering the shots and goes off yelling across the table. “ I can’t drink alcohol!! You know I cant drink a shot! Why would you order me one?!” Everyone kind of stops and looks at her for a sec, before my husband says its not a problem as Matt said he wants 2. Everyone then continues their conversation including the wife and I. My SIL interrupts me and continues to make a big fuss over how my husband ordered her alcohol when he knows she’s not drinking. The wife then says its ok because Matt said he’ll drink it so its not going to waste. My SIL then says again how annoying it is that my husband ordered her a shot and I say to not worry about because I’ll just drink it if Matt doesn’t want it. She keeps doing this till I finally tell the wife, she’s not drinking because she is pregnant. The wife says congratulations and ask how far she is and then also tells her to be careful of telling too many people.
This situation happens about 3 more times in the week leading up to the wedding. Now this is why I might be the AH. The last time it happened she was telling my HS friends at the wedding how sick she has been, but no one asked why she was sick, they were just empathetic and saying they hope she feels better. They came over to me to talk to me and she followed again complaining about how sick she has been and kind of pushing them to ask why she has been feeling so sick, when I finally said, “ Sara, are you fucking kidding me?! No one gives a shit that you are pregnant, they don’t even know you.” Sara ran off crying and my MIL heard me say that and told my FIL who screamed at my husband saying how we hurt Sara’s feelings and how she is just excited.
My husband doesn’t think I did anything wrong, and my HS friends think I was fine too, because they know the backstory. My mom and some of my husband’s family think I was the Asshole.
So AITA for telling my SIL that no one cares that she is pregnant.
Relevant Comments
ACanWontAttitude: 2 weeks pregnant doesn't exist. If she's used the clear blue test that says 2 weeks, it actually means she's 4 weeks.
Prestigious-Algae886: NTA. Sarah sounds insufferable. Is she the golden child?
Update: February 29, 2024
Update to my previous post on my profile.
My hisband and i finally had our honeymoon and we were unreachable during our holiday because we were out of the country. Our whole family knew this before we left and we told them the only way to reach us in emergency was to call the hotel. We knew Sara was going in for her appointment while we were away and we told her we would call her as soon as we got back home.
My husband and I was out one day for the whole day from the hotel doing activities, and when we got back we found a note on our room to say we have to go to reception. Once we got to reception, the person told us we had 7 missed calls from family and gave us a number to call. We didn’t know who called or what about, but we thought it was an emergency. We called the number and it was Matt. He was very confused and asked why we were calling him on our honeymoon and asked if we were ok? We said that the hotel said tihs number called 7 times and asked him if everything was ok, matt said everything was fine but Sara wanted to talk to us.
Matt called Sara over and she asked us how we were having fun etc, but we just wanted to know what was going on because we were so worried. Sara said she went to the doctor and got some news, we asked her if everything was ok, because she kept not saying anything and we could hear her and Matt whisper to each other. We heard Matt say to her “did you seriously call the hotel 7 times to tell them this? It could have waited.” Sara finally gets back on the phone and said that the doctor said she was going to have twins!! We said congratulations and asked if there was anything else? We thought it was an emergency. She said no she just wanted to share the news because she is so excited and scared and she couldn’t hold it in. She said she also called my mom, and told her (thay are friends on social media) .
My husband and I both just said we were very happy for them but really didn’t want to be bothered again if it was not an emergency. Sara said we were being very rude and she just wanted to share the good news. We hung up because we had to get ready for dinner.
When we got back into the US, my inlaws picked us up from the airport and were asking us if we spoke to Sara. We said yes she said she was having twins and we were very excited for them. My FIL then said Sara told them we were extremely rude to her and Matt and we were dismissive and hung up the phone. We told them what really happened and they said that is not what Sara has told the whole family.
We are now back in our house and haven’t spoken to Sara or Matt but matt texted us both but the text only cane through later where he said he was so sorry that they bothered us on our vacation and he felt horrible. We just texted back and said all good, and that we were very excited for both of them.
All i can say about this whole situation is that i am very happy that we live on the other side of the country from Sara.
Additional Information from OOP
I spoke to my MIL today and like everyone said, Sara didn’t calculate her time right. She is actually about 8-9 weeks pregnant according to my MIL. Sara is also having twins that were 2 eggs and 2 sperms (not sure the medical name) and each has their own sack.
Relevant Comments
bobbleheadjoe:_ Did your brother go with her to the doctor? Did he see the ultrasound?
For some reason women who fake pregnancies often claim they’re having twins. Now that isn’t a super likely scenario, but this woman sounds pathologically desperate for attention.
I probably have watched too many Dr Phil episodes on women who fake pregnancies, but I’d reverse image search any ultrasound pictures she sends/posts.
Hi everyone, sorry for the long wait on the update, I have been really busy with my work.
Sara is still pregnant, due at the end of August, with 2 babies, one boy and one girl.
My husband (Sara's brother) and I have started to try and have a family of our own, no success yet, but we are not worried, it only 2 months. When we we're in my country, we were buying artwork and small furnitures from my country to put in the nursery of our future baby to have my culture too. Sara and her husband bought some things too for their house and because she was pregnant for the baby.
My mom was on the town with Sara one day when we did a trip they didnt want to do and bought some things for us, and told Sara its for the nursery for our future baby. When Sara heard what our idea for our nursery was with my culture, she decided she wanted her nursery to be like that, and bought almost everything we bought. We dint say anything because we thought she was just buying for her house and for friends, souvenirs etc.
Some time passed after everyting happened at the wedding and the honeymoon, and Sara called me to see if I can go to a store where we live and look at some baby things for her, because they dont have that store. I said yes and spend almost 2 hours with her on the videocall showing her things, taking pictures, and saying we can get it and mail to her if she needs anything, so we were on good terms.
then a week ago she posted on ig her nursery in progress and it was exactly what I said I wanted. The theme isnt something very common, but its my culture. Think like dragons for China, or Geisha for Japan. Very big part of the culture, but not usually a baby theme. I saw it and got mad, showed it to my husband and he was mad too, but said lets just give it a few days, and then talk about it again, and then we can decide what to do. I said ok.
Sara calls us a couple of days later to tell us the names she decided for her babies, and the boy name is very sweet, a mixture of a family name on Matt and Sara's family. The girl name is where the problem is. Her first name is very pretty, we love it, but her middle name is my husband's name that we said we wanted to use if we had a son. its not a girl/boy name like Taylor, its a boy name like Johnathan (not the rael name).
My husband said thats his name and she knew we wanted to use it. she said its also their uncle's name, and thats who its after. My husband kept saying but its his first name, and its boys name and we are still going to use the name if we have a son. This is where Sara loses her mind. she gets so mad and starts yelling that cousins cannot have the same name and she chose it first, and my husband just says ITS MY NAME. Finally Sara just hangs up after she said she thought my husband would be happy that she is nameing the baby the same name as him.
Again we give it a couple of days and then I had a talk with my husband and said I am still very upset about the theme and it feels like Sara always gets what she wants, no matter what other people think, feel or are affected. I told him its like the camels back broke from all the straw, over the last years. I told him I was going to call Sara and tell her how i feel and just talk about it. he said ok, but told me to wait one more day so I am not very angry when I call. I called my mom and told her what i told my husband, and she was furious. She pointed out that Sara also showed me and my husband things she thought would look good in our nursery with the theme we said we wanted, so she knew exactly what we wanted to do. I took a couple of hours to get my brain ready and called Sara to talk to her about it.
When I was talking to Sara, I made sure to tell her that the nursery wasn't the main issue, that it was just the last thing I could take. I told her it feels like everything is always about her, and how she wants it and screw everybody else. I said its almost 4 years of that, and the nursery was the last straw. I made it a point to talk to her nicely, not raise my voice and use kind words. SHE WENT OFF. She said a nursery theme isnt something you can own, and that I actually copied her. I told her its my culture so i dont know how that works. She called me such bad names and cursed me out, and i told her if she doesnt stop, i was going to hang up. She kept saying nasty things, and i told her again, and she kept going, so I hung up after i told her to lose my number and not contact me ever again. I havent had any other contact from her, and my husband either. It feels like a weight of my shoulders. I wish her the best but she cannot be a part of my life if she is acting like this. i also removed her from all socials.
So that’s that, Sara and me are done. my husband is low contact, only if she calls/ messages him, which is never. Her parents are shocked at me, but i said im done. Her mom asked if I am going to tell Sara when I get pregnant, and I said no, she is welcome to tell her, and my husband can tell her if she wants, but I am not speaking to Sara again. Sara had her shower, and I sent 2 outfits for the babies, because I brought them before the phone call, and she texted in a group chat to say thank you and I just liked the message. I told my husband that if I am home, Sara is not welcome in my house.
Thats probably the last update from me. I don’t think anything else will happen now that I am no contact. if anything, I will just comment on this post. I am not super active on reddit, so I am sorry if I don’t reply. Thank you all for the support and messages. you made me realise that I am not the crazy one. you are the best!!
Relevant Comments
EvasiveFriend: No one thinks it's weird or unusual for a non pregnant woman to make a nursery when another family member is pregnant?! What an unhealthy competition!
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes
Previous BoRU
[New Update] - AITA for yelling at my SIL at my wedding and telling her no one cares that she is pregnant
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Trigger Warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, enabling, obsessive behavior
Original Post: February 20, 2024
Sorry everyone, my story was duplicated in my previous post, hopefully it was fixed
TLDR: I yelled at my SIL at my wedding that no one cares that she is pregnant after she repeatedly trued to take the attention off of my husband and I.
My husband (30 m) and I (26f) got married during covid. We couldn’t have a big ceremony because of restrictions, and unfortunately my family couldn’t be present as they live in a different country. With restrictions finally lifted, we decided to have a more traditional ceremony in my home country with my family. My husband’s family came, his parents, some friends, cousins and his sister (32 f, we’ll call her Sara) and her husband (28 m, we’ll call him Matt).
Sara and Matt live on the other side of the US than the rest of the family. They had their wedding a couple of months back in their home state, and ever since then when we have a conversation, even without our wedding coming up, Sara would say that she and Matt are planning to get pregnant on the trip for my husband and I’s wedding. No big deal, I just made sure to tell her that she needs to ovulate for that to happen, but other than that I could not care less. What started to get annoying, is when we were talking about all the activities/ excursions people wanted to do so could go ahead and book it, Sara would always say “Make sure there’s is enough time for Matt and I at the hotel so we can get busy making our baby.” Again, kind of gross, a little annoying, but whatever, they are grown ups.
About a week before we all leave to go to my home country, Sara and Matt arrive in our home state to spend time with family as they rarely see them. My husband and I, his parents, and my husband’s brother and sister in law are sitting chatting, when Sara blurts out she is pregnant. We all get really excited, congratulate them and saying how happy we are. We start asking some questions, and Sarah says she is 2 weeks pregnant. Everyone kind of loses a little bit of excitement and say wow, that’s really early, we suggest to wait before telling other people, just as a lot can happen. People usually dont even know they are pregnant until at least 6 weeks, and even then they are encouraged to wait until after the first trimester to tell people. My BIL and SIL were very happy and excited for them, but cautioned them even more as they have experienced multiple miscarriages before having their first child.
Matt replied by saying they are only telling the people closest to them, eg his parents, her parents and her siblings, no one else since it is so early. Well the next day, Sara had called her great uncle and his wife over for drinks and decided to tell them too, called her one aunt and uncle and told them, and by the end of the day basically the entire extended family knew, as well as some of her mom’s friends which stopped by the house and Sara told. With each person Sara told Matt got more agitated, as they had agreed to only tell a select few people. Matt finally gave up and asked her why she doesn’t just post it on Facebook as it will be quicker, to which she replied, she wants to, but she think it will be frowned upon.
My husband came to me and said it feels like she is trying to draw the attention away from us and our wedding, as she is known to do anything and everything to have the spotlight on her. I said to not worry about it, as when we are in my home country, she isn’t going to know many people so she wont say anything.
He agreed, but went to his parents and told them what he was feeling, and asked if they could politely suggest that she keep it to herself when we left for the trip. They agreed that it was valid for him to feel that way, as they know she hates it if the focus is not on her.
Anyway, we leave for the wedding and I see my mom for the 2nd time in 5 years. Obviously it was a very emotional reunion, but we wiped off our tears quickly and sat down for a meal with my husband’s family. After I introduced her to everyone, the waiter take our order and the first thing Sara says to my mom is, your daughter probably already told you, but I won’t be drinking this trip. My mom says that its no problem, you dont have to drink to have fun, and that Sara will still have fun, even if she chooses not to drink. Sara interrupts my mom to tell her its not by choice that she is not drinking, but that she is pregnant. (Keep in mind this is 10 minutes after she met my mom) my mom says congratulations and keeps on with another conversation. Sara intterupts my mom again and tells her how she is 2 weeks pregnant and just so excited. My mom ( who is in medicine) then tells Sara the same thing we did, that she should probably wait until she is in her second trimester to tell people, and Sara completely ignores her.
The same thing happens with my aunt, cousins, uncles, sister and grandparents, all of whom she had never met before.
My husband yet again speaks to his parents and ask them to please tell her to keep it private because it feels as though she is purposefully trying to take the attention away from our wedding. They say they will talk to her. Matt actually comes up to us and apologizes, by saying he agrees that it has gotten out of hand and that the number of people that know is way more than the number they agreed upon.
Fast forward, we are sitting eating while we wait for one of our excursions. A family that I lived with for 3 when I first moved to my husband’s country flew out for the wedding and met up with us for lunch. They have never met my SIL. The wife and I are talking about the wedding and all the arrangements, while my SIL sits across from us and listens to the conversation. My husband orders some shots for everyone at the table, when his mom says she doesn’t want one so he tells the server minus 1. My SIL hears him ordering the shots and goes off yelling across the table. “ I can’t drink alcohol!! You know I cant drink a shot! Why would you order me one?!” Everyone kind of stops and looks at her for a sec, before my husband says its not a problem as Matt said he wants 2. Everyone then continues their conversation including the wife and I. My SIL interrupts me and continues to make a big fuss over how my husband ordered her alcohol when he knows she’s not drinking. The wife then says its ok because Matt said he’ll drink it so its not going to waste. My SIL then says again how annoying it is that my husband ordered her a shot and I say to not worry about because I’ll just drink it if Matt doesn’t want it. She keeps doing this till I finally tell the wife, she’s not drinking because she is pregnant. The wife says congratulations and ask how far she is and then also tells her to be careful of telling too many people.
This situation happens about 3 more times in the week leading up to the wedding. Now this is why I might be the AH. The last time it happened she was telling my HS friends at the wedding how sick she has been, but no one asked why she was sick, they were just empathetic and saying they hope she feels better. They came over to me to talk to me and she followed again complaining about how sick she has been and kind of pushing them to ask why she has been feeling so sick, when I finally said, “ Sara, are you fucking kidding me?! No one gives a shit that you are pregnant, they don’t even know you.” Sara ran off crying and my MIL heard me say that and told my FIL who screamed at my husband saying how we hurt Sara’s feelings and how she is just excited.
My husband doesn’t think I did anything wrong, and my HS friends think I was fine too, because they know the backstory. My mom and some of my husband’s family think I was the Asshole.
So AITA for telling my SIL that no one cares that she is pregnant.
Relevant Comments
ACanWontAttitude: 2 weeks pregnant doesn't exist. If she's used the clear blue test that says 2 weeks, it actually means she's 4 weeks.
Your weeks of pregnancy are dated from the first day of your last period. This means that in the first 2 weeks or so, you are not actually pregnant – your body is preparing for ovulation (releasing an egg from one of your ovaries) as usual.ConsitutionalHistory: Here's the real problem...her husband, her parents, or even your husband should have told her off long before this reached your breaking point. You did nothing wrong...but apparently nearly everyone else was more than happy to play the role of enabler to the little princess.
OOP: She said she knows when she got pregnant, it was their anniversary from when they started dating, and then she took a pregnancy test and it came back positive 2 weeks after their anniversary. She could also apparently ’feel when the implant of the egg happened’
Prestigious-Algae886: NTA. Sarah sounds insufferable. Is she the golden child?
OOP: Yes, never finished college after asking her dad to pay for 4 different colleges and degrees, and then still got a graduation present when she moved away to work on a ranch. She also gets a allowance for money every month from her father
Update: February 29, 2024
Update to my previous post on my profile.
My hisband and i finally had our honeymoon and we were unreachable during our holiday because we were out of the country. Our whole family knew this before we left and we told them the only way to reach us in emergency was to call the hotel. We knew Sara was going in for her appointment while we were away and we told her we would call her as soon as we got back home.
My husband and I was out one day for the whole day from the hotel doing activities, and when we got back we found a note on our room to say we have to go to reception. Once we got to reception, the person told us we had 7 missed calls from family and gave us a number to call. We didn’t know who called or what about, but we thought it was an emergency. We called the number and it was Matt. He was very confused and asked why we were calling him on our honeymoon and asked if we were ok? We said that the hotel said tihs number called 7 times and asked him if everything was ok, matt said everything was fine but Sara wanted to talk to us.
Matt called Sara over and she asked us how we were having fun etc, but we just wanted to know what was going on because we were so worried. Sara said she went to the doctor and got some news, we asked her if everything was ok, because she kept not saying anything and we could hear her and Matt whisper to each other. We heard Matt say to her “did you seriously call the hotel 7 times to tell them this? It could have waited.” Sara finally gets back on the phone and said that the doctor said she was going to have twins!! We said congratulations and asked if there was anything else? We thought it was an emergency. She said no she just wanted to share the news because she is so excited and scared and she couldn’t hold it in. She said she also called my mom, and told her (thay are friends on social media) .
My husband and I both just said we were very happy for them but really didn’t want to be bothered again if it was not an emergency. Sara said we were being very rude and she just wanted to share the good news. We hung up because we had to get ready for dinner.
When we got back into the US, my inlaws picked us up from the airport and were asking us if we spoke to Sara. We said yes she said she was having twins and we were very excited for them. My FIL then said Sara told them we were extremely rude to her and Matt and we were dismissive and hung up the phone. We told them what really happened and they said that is not what Sara has told the whole family.
We are now back in our house and haven’t spoken to Sara or Matt but matt texted us both but the text only cane through later where he said he was so sorry that they bothered us on our vacation and he felt horrible. We just texted back and said all good, and that we were very excited for both of them.
All i can say about this whole situation is that i am very happy that we live on the other side of the country from Sara.
Additional Information from OOP
I spoke to my MIL today and like everyone said, Sara didn’t calculate her time right. She is actually about 8-9 weeks pregnant according to my MIL. Sara is also having twins that were 2 eggs and 2 sperms (not sure the medical name) and each has their own sack.
Relevant Comments
bobbleheadjoe:_ Did your brother go with her to the doctor? Did he see the ultrasound?
For some reason women who fake pregnancies often claim they’re having twins. Now that isn’t a super likely scenario, but this woman sounds pathologically desperate for attention.
I probably have watched too many Dr Phil episodes on women who fake pregnancies, but I’d reverse image search any ultrasound pictures she sends/posts.
OOP: I think Matt went with yes, when we got back to the US she sent us a picture of the ultrasound, im not a doctor or in the medical field at all but it looked like two babies to me.
----NEW UPDATE----
FINAL UPDATE: AITA for yelling at my SIL at my wedding and telling her no one cares that she is pregnant.: May 29, 2024 (3 months later)Hi everyone, sorry for the long wait on the update, I have been really busy with my work.
Sara is still pregnant, due at the end of August, with 2 babies, one boy and one girl.
My husband (Sara's brother) and I have started to try and have a family of our own, no success yet, but we are not worried, it only 2 months. When we we're in my country, we were buying artwork and small furnitures from my country to put in the nursery of our future baby to have my culture too. Sara and her husband bought some things too for their house and because she was pregnant for the baby.
My mom was on the town with Sara one day when we did a trip they didnt want to do and bought some things for us, and told Sara its for the nursery for our future baby. When Sara heard what our idea for our nursery was with my culture, she decided she wanted her nursery to be like that, and bought almost everything we bought. We dint say anything because we thought she was just buying for her house and for friends, souvenirs etc.
Some time passed after everyting happened at the wedding and the honeymoon, and Sara called me to see if I can go to a store where we live and look at some baby things for her, because they dont have that store. I said yes and spend almost 2 hours with her on the videocall showing her things, taking pictures, and saying we can get it and mail to her if she needs anything, so we were on good terms.
then a week ago she posted on ig her nursery in progress and it was exactly what I said I wanted. The theme isnt something very common, but its my culture. Think like dragons for China, or Geisha for Japan. Very big part of the culture, but not usually a baby theme. I saw it and got mad, showed it to my husband and he was mad too, but said lets just give it a few days, and then talk about it again, and then we can decide what to do. I said ok.
Sara calls us a couple of days later to tell us the names she decided for her babies, and the boy name is very sweet, a mixture of a family name on Matt and Sara's family. The girl name is where the problem is. Her first name is very pretty, we love it, but her middle name is my husband's name that we said we wanted to use if we had a son. its not a girl/boy name like Taylor, its a boy name like Johnathan (not the rael name).
My husband said thats his name and she knew we wanted to use it. she said its also their uncle's name, and thats who its after. My husband kept saying but its his first name, and its boys name and we are still going to use the name if we have a son. This is where Sara loses her mind. she gets so mad and starts yelling that cousins cannot have the same name and she chose it first, and my husband just says ITS MY NAME. Finally Sara just hangs up after she said she thought my husband would be happy that she is nameing the baby the same name as him.
Again we give it a couple of days and then I had a talk with my husband and said I am still very upset about the theme and it feels like Sara always gets what she wants, no matter what other people think, feel or are affected. I told him its like the camels back broke from all the straw, over the last years. I told him I was going to call Sara and tell her how i feel and just talk about it. he said ok, but told me to wait one more day so I am not very angry when I call. I called my mom and told her what i told my husband, and she was furious. She pointed out that Sara also showed me and my husband things she thought would look good in our nursery with the theme we said we wanted, so she knew exactly what we wanted to do. I took a couple of hours to get my brain ready and called Sara to talk to her about it.
When I was talking to Sara, I made sure to tell her that the nursery wasn't the main issue, that it was just the last thing I could take. I told her it feels like everything is always about her, and how she wants it and screw everybody else. I said its almost 4 years of that, and the nursery was the last straw. I made it a point to talk to her nicely, not raise my voice and use kind words. SHE WENT OFF. She said a nursery theme isnt something you can own, and that I actually copied her. I told her its my culture so i dont know how that works. She called me such bad names and cursed me out, and i told her if she doesnt stop, i was going to hang up. She kept saying nasty things, and i told her again, and she kept going, so I hung up after i told her to lose my number and not contact me ever again. I havent had any other contact from her, and my husband either. It feels like a weight of my shoulders. I wish her the best but she cannot be a part of my life if she is acting like this. i also removed her from all socials.
So that’s that, Sara and me are done. my husband is low contact, only if she calls/ messages him, which is never. Her parents are shocked at me, but i said im done. Her mom asked if I am going to tell Sara when I get pregnant, and I said no, she is welcome to tell her, and my husband can tell her if she wants, but I am not speaking to Sara again. Sara had her shower, and I sent 2 outfits for the babies, because I brought them before the phone call, and she texted in a group chat to say thank you and I just liked the message. I told my husband that if I am home, Sara is not welcome in my house.
Thats probably the last update from me. I don’t think anything else will happen now that I am no contact. if anything, I will just comment on this post. I am not super active on reddit, so I am sorry if I don’t reply. Thank you all for the support and messages. you made me realise that I am not the crazy one. you are the best!!
Relevant Comments
EvasiveFriend: No one thinks it's weird or unusual for a non pregnant woman to make a nursery when another family member is pregnant?! What an unhealthy competition!
OOP: I go back to my country very few times. Since moving away, only 2 times in 5 years. My husband and I planned in getting stuff for our nursery when we visited, because we knew we wanted to have a baby soon, and we didn’t know when we are going back. Its very expensive to mail things, almost $$150 for a shoebox, so we got some things we could fit in our suitcases. A lot of the stuff you cannt find in Usa, so thats why we bought it there.ObsoleteReference: I would make it very clear to parents in law you plan to use your husbands name for a boy no matter what. Don’t worry about it being confusing, unless Sara chills out considerably, you’re not going to want to deal with her pitting he her kids against anything that could distract from her being center stage.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.06.05 05:51 Odd_Occasion_7428 Looking for guidance—do I hate litigation, being or a lawyer, or just where I work?
Im probably going to overshare, here, but I need to get this out.
I’m a seventh-year attorney that, up until last year, worked for my State (first as a State Supreme Court law clerk; then a ten-month stint as a criminal prosecutor where I tried thirteen cases including a felony; then at the State AG’s Office for several years doing a mix of in-house agency work and high-impact litigation; then directly for another agency doing mostly in-house type stuff and policy work). I didn’t necessarily want to leave the state—entirely because of my passion for public service but felt I had to for political reasons.
Last year, I joined a private practice firm with three different practice areas: litigation, transactional, and health care. When I joined the firm, I was one of seven or eight litigation attorneys. Because of my connections with various state agencies and policy-makers, my practice has been largely self-sufficient and a mix of transactional/compliance work in addition to both trial-level and appellate litigation. For example, on my third day with the firm, I was hired by a contact of my own (entirely unrelated to the firm) to handle a complex appellate original action matter (I’ve briefed five cases and argued three appellate matters, all in my first year, with more on the way).
Starting around last Christmas, attorneys from the litigation group have started to drop off, quickly. Two were let go (one of which I think is justified, one of which I’m still confused about) and the rest (sans the manager) have left for other opportunities. The ones that have felt have cited many of the same issues I see—bad management decisions, in a nutshell. I feel like the little Charlie Bucket on this litigation-factory tour.
Additional responsibility—including picking up other people’s cases midstream (which I abhor) has been a big part of these changes. Some of the cases were pretty mismanaged (for example, a case where we’re headed to trial next month and we had a clear basis for at least partial dispositive motions to limit the issues for trial that were never filed and the hard deadline was passed before I even took over). Others are good cases—just requiring a lot of work (I just finished responding to over 100 pages of mostly frivolous material in advance of a hearing Thursday). Again, I think it’s important to note that I never struggled to hit our firm’s billable hours requirement more or less from day one with cases, matters, and projects I brought in entirely independent from our firm (for example, I’ve got two ongoing municipal clients that keep me pretty busy and it’s really easy and rewarding work I’m familiar with based on my previous jobs with the State).
Recently—I feel like I’m white-knuckling all-day, every day. I feel like I’m aware of my limits—I’m very good at some things but also wanted to work with litigators with more experience than me to learn the things I don’t know yet (and I’ve gotten basically none of that for reasons you’ll see in a moment). You see, the firm’s response to the departures has not been to hire additional litigators, but to use attorneys from other teams as “second chairs” because those practice areas don’t have enough work. I want to be clear that I really, really, truly do like everyone I work with—but litigating cases with “partners” with zero experience in litigation is beyond difficult. It’s not fully their fault—but their work (say if I ask them to do a first draft motion memorandum) will often require me to spend just as much time as doing it myself would have. I recognize that—in theory—training these other attorneys in litigation basics will allow them to assume more responsibility in the future. But that’s kind of a hollow comfort when you feel like you’re drowning.
This all culminated in last Tuesday. I feel like I had a full-on mental breakdown at the office. You see, heading into the weekend before, one of the cases I’d been “reassigned” to handle had pending motions to dismiss that the attorney leaving hadn’t even began responding to. I knew these were coming but was told they’d be no problem because “you can just respond by filing an amended complaint.” So, trusting the previous handling attorney, that’s exactly what I did. Turns out he’d miscalendared the date so my filing was untimely (for amendment as of right) and I had to file a motion. I acknowledge this was my own mistake for not double-checking, but also—who objects to an untimely amendment by less than a month in a case where no discovery has been exchanged? Worth noting the facts of this case are really bad for the opposing parties so they’re fighting tooth and nail to keep me from being able to amend, hence the dealing with near 100 pages of their filings from 3 days.
The issue was that May was already a rough month for me at work. This included taking over a State Supreme Court Oral Argument that required a lot of work in addition to completing briefing on a different case and a rather large legislative drafting project. The previous handling attorney on the case set for Oral Argument (different than the miscalendared guy) had filed a really deficient brief for a very important client of the firm. The issue in the case is also one that many of our clients care about and it was a larger stage than I expected. When I say really deficient I mean like didn’t include or even argue to the correct standard of review level deficient. This required me to file a rather extensive supplemental brief and this all happened with me taking over the case on less than 4 weeks’ notice from start to finish. While the case is still under consideration—the Justices seemed to heavily favor our side, even asking the opposing attorney three separate times what his position actually was.
So headed into Labor Day weekend—I was really excited to disconnect from work. You see, it was our annual “Friendcation” trip, where we get together with our college friends. It’s four families all with kids roughly the same age—all of us guys lived together in college while we were dating the girls we ended up marrying so we’re all pretty tight and have done this for over 5 years now. But instead of being able to just focus on that, I was drafting a motion and memo from the car on the drive there and texting my assistant to try and get things finalized (which we did).
Leading to last Tuesday, coming back from that vacation and feeling so overwhelmed at all the things on my plate that I legitimately didn’t think I could finish them all by their deadlines. Then first thing in the morning one of my second chair non-litigators turns over their “draft” response to something I thought was pretty routine. Their draft was entirely unusable and I had to basically start from scratch. Realizing I had still more that I would have to do that day/week, I legitimately couldn’t help weeping. I don’t mean like shedding a single tear—I mean like full-on, hyperventilating sobbing while restarting the new draft. Amazingly—and in huge thanks to my assistant giving me an almost hour by hour breakdown of what I would have to do to get this all done, it did happen.
Worth noting that I was honest with my boss when he came to ask me what was going on that afternoon (our office walls are pretty thin, even though my door was closed during my breakdown). I told him that I felt completely overwhelmed. I also told him that the job I was offered and accepted was not one that came with the stress of managing other people’s work product and workload (I’d rejected such a job to come here because I just don’t want to deal with that additional stress at the moment). While I really, really love collaborative work—I just don’t like telling people what to do and then being responsible for deciding how much time I can actually bill the client for non-litigators doing litigation work. As expected for newer attorneys doing tasks they’ve never done before—they’ll spend way too long on things. Note that I’m newer to billing time—having only done it myself for the last year and now it feels like I’m being expected to manage other people’s billing practices too? It is worth noting that I know for a fact that I’ve been a net-positive to the bottom line of the firm as my annual salary is less than I brought in in cases in my first three months (cases that came to me—not the firm). Despite this and the additional responsibility (which the owner admitted to they’d given me without so much as even a conversation)—there’s been no increase in pay or even a discussion about it. Some friends say this is on me for not demanding it—but that’s just never been my style.
Then, on Saturday night/Sunday—my wife woke me up with appendicitis symptoms. We spent around 7 hours in the ER on Sunday for them to determine she didn’t have appendicitis but did have unexplained inflammation of the liver that will require additional testing as well as a severe kidney infection. I had one of those after a kidney stone in college and it was hell.
And where was I on Monday morning? Back in that goddamn office churning paperwork that ultimately doesn’t feel like it matters because deadlines. While people at work were very nice (I wouldn’t have even said anything, but I wanted to work the afternoon from home when family couldn’t help with the kids) there was no action. Do managers not realize that questions like “what can I take off your plate?” has actually just added another thing to your plate to stress about? I was also there for near ten-hours today—again, dealing with a filing deadline in advance of a big motion argument Thursday and a deposition Friday.
If it weren’t for feeling committed to clients and their cases—I’d honestly just quit. I also want to note that even though I’ve gotten coverage for the kids so my wife could rest and had a ton more to do when I get home—I still feel like a piece of shit husband. In part, because I am. I’d never tell a friend to prioritize their career over taking time to deal with something like this. But I don’t know what to do because I’m the attorney of record for these cases and many of them came to the firm to work with me. I can’t just blow deadlines that will affect a clients’ case. I feel like everyone at the firm that could actually be a help to me is strapped with their own caseload and all the people who have capacity to help aren’t all that helpful.
Is this how I will always feel working in litigation? Or is it just a consequence of working somewhere going through growing pains? I’m open to any advice—because I’m getting legitimately worried I’ll be at another breaking point again soon if I don’t get some help. But I’m also kind of unsure on how to do that.
In the title, I mention potentially hating being a lawyer because ever since the Federal Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs I feel like I dedicated my life to a profession that said it operated by certain rules and doesn’t. Dealing with more regular litigation practices (bad faith discovery objections etc.) hasn’t improved my opinion of the profession much since. Please note I’m not taking any political position aside from being passionate about the rule of law.
submitted by Odd_Occasion_7428 to Lawyertalk [link] [comments]
I’m a seventh-year attorney that, up until last year, worked for my State (first as a State Supreme Court law clerk; then a ten-month stint as a criminal prosecutor where I tried thirteen cases including a felony; then at the State AG’s Office for several years doing a mix of in-house agency work and high-impact litigation; then directly for another agency doing mostly in-house type stuff and policy work). I didn’t necessarily want to leave the state—entirely because of my passion for public service but felt I had to for political reasons.
Last year, I joined a private practice firm with three different practice areas: litigation, transactional, and health care. When I joined the firm, I was one of seven or eight litigation attorneys. Because of my connections with various state agencies and policy-makers, my practice has been largely self-sufficient and a mix of transactional/compliance work in addition to both trial-level and appellate litigation. For example, on my third day with the firm, I was hired by a contact of my own (entirely unrelated to the firm) to handle a complex appellate original action matter (I’ve briefed five cases and argued three appellate matters, all in my first year, with more on the way).
Starting around last Christmas, attorneys from the litigation group have started to drop off, quickly. Two were let go (one of which I think is justified, one of which I’m still confused about) and the rest (sans the manager) have left for other opportunities. The ones that have felt have cited many of the same issues I see—bad management decisions, in a nutshell. I feel like the little Charlie Bucket on this litigation-factory tour.
Additional responsibility—including picking up other people’s cases midstream (which I abhor) has been a big part of these changes. Some of the cases were pretty mismanaged (for example, a case where we’re headed to trial next month and we had a clear basis for at least partial dispositive motions to limit the issues for trial that were never filed and the hard deadline was passed before I even took over). Others are good cases—just requiring a lot of work (I just finished responding to over 100 pages of mostly frivolous material in advance of a hearing Thursday). Again, I think it’s important to note that I never struggled to hit our firm’s billable hours requirement more or less from day one with cases, matters, and projects I brought in entirely independent from our firm (for example, I’ve got two ongoing municipal clients that keep me pretty busy and it’s really easy and rewarding work I’m familiar with based on my previous jobs with the State).
Recently—I feel like I’m white-knuckling all-day, every day. I feel like I’m aware of my limits—I’m very good at some things but also wanted to work with litigators with more experience than me to learn the things I don’t know yet (and I’ve gotten basically none of that for reasons you’ll see in a moment). You see, the firm’s response to the departures has not been to hire additional litigators, but to use attorneys from other teams as “second chairs” because those practice areas don’t have enough work. I want to be clear that I really, really, truly do like everyone I work with—but litigating cases with “partners” with zero experience in litigation is beyond difficult. It’s not fully their fault—but their work (say if I ask them to do a first draft motion memorandum) will often require me to spend just as much time as doing it myself would have. I recognize that—in theory—training these other attorneys in litigation basics will allow them to assume more responsibility in the future. But that’s kind of a hollow comfort when you feel like you’re drowning.
This all culminated in last Tuesday. I feel like I had a full-on mental breakdown at the office. You see, heading into the weekend before, one of the cases I’d been “reassigned” to handle had pending motions to dismiss that the attorney leaving hadn’t even began responding to. I knew these were coming but was told they’d be no problem because “you can just respond by filing an amended complaint.” So, trusting the previous handling attorney, that’s exactly what I did. Turns out he’d miscalendared the date so my filing was untimely (for amendment as of right) and I had to file a motion. I acknowledge this was my own mistake for not double-checking, but also—who objects to an untimely amendment by less than a month in a case where no discovery has been exchanged? Worth noting the facts of this case are really bad for the opposing parties so they’re fighting tooth and nail to keep me from being able to amend, hence the dealing with near 100 pages of their filings from 3 days.
The issue was that May was already a rough month for me at work. This included taking over a State Supreme Court Oral Argument that required a lot of work in addition to completing briefing on a different case and a rather large legislative drafting project. The previous handling attorney on the case set for Oral Argument (different than the miscalendared guy) had filed a really deficient brief for a very important client of the firm. The issue in the case is also one that many of our clients care about and it was a larger stage than I expected. When I say really deficient I mean like didn’t include or even argue to the correct standard of review level deficient. This required me to file a rather extensive supplemental brief and this all happened with me taking over the case on less than 4 weeks’ notice from start to finish. While the case is still under consideration—the Justices seemed to heavily favor our side, even asking the opposing attorney three separate times what his position actually was.
So headed into Labor Day weekend—I was really excited to disconnect from work. You see, it was our annual “Friendcation” trip, where we get together with our college friends. It’s four families all with kids roughly the same age—all of us guys lived together in college while we were dating the girls we ended up marrying so we’re all pretty tight and have done this for over 5 years now. But instead of being able to just focus on that, I was drafting a motion and memo from the car on the drive there and texting my assistant to try and get things finalized (which we did).
Leading to last Tuesday, coming back from that vacation and feeling so overwhelmed at all the things on my plate that I legitimately didn’t think I could finish them all by their deadlines. Then first thing in the morning one of my second chair non-litigators turns over their “draft” response to something I thought was pretty routine. Their draft was entirely unusable and I had to basically start from scratch. Realizing I had still more that I would have to do that day/week, I legitimately couldn’t help weeping. I don’t mean like shedding a single tear—I mean like full-on, hyperventilating sobbing while restarting the new draft. Amazingly—and in huge thanks to my assistant giving me an almost hour by hour breakdown of what I would have to do to get this all done, it did happen.
Worth noting that I was honest with my boss when he came to ask me what was going on that afternoon (our office walls are pretty thin, even though my door was closed during my breakdown). I told him that I felt completely overwhelmed. I also told him that the job I was offered and accepted was not one that came with the stress of managing other people’s work product and workload (I’d rejected such a job to come here because I just don’t want to deal with that additional stress at the moment). While I really, really love collaborative work—I just don’t like telling people what to do and then being responsible for deciding how much time I can actually bill the client for non-litigators doing litigation work. As expected for newer attorneys doing tasks they’ve never done before—they’ll spend way too long on things. Note that I’m newer to billing time—having only done it myself for the last year and now it feels like I’m being expected to manage other people’s billing practices too? It is worth noting that I know for a fact that I’ve been a net-positive to the bottom line of the firm as my annual salary is less than I brought in in cases in my first three months (cases that came to me—not the firm). Despite this and the additional responsibility (which the owner admitted to they’d given me without so much as even a conversation)—there’s been no increase in pay or even a discussion about it. Some friends say this is on me for not demanding it—but that’s just never been my style.
Then, on Saturday night/Sunday—my wife woke me up with appendicitis symptoms. We spent around 7 hours in the ER on Sunday for them to determine she didn’t have appendicitis but did have unexplained inflammation of the liver that will require additional testing as well as a severe kidney infection. I had one of those after a kidney stone in college and it was hell.
And where was I on Monday morning? Back in that goddamn office churning paperwork that ultimately doesn’t feel like it matters because deadlines. While people at work were very nice (I wouldn’t have even said anything, but I wanted to work the afternoon from home when family couldn’t help with the kids) there was no action. Do managers not realize that questions like “what can I take off your plate?” has actually just added another thing to your plate to stress about? I was also there for near ten-hours today—again, dealing with a filing deadline in advance of a big motion argument Thursday and a deposition Friday.
If it weren’t for feeling committed to clients and their cases—I’d honestly just quit. I also want to note that even though I’ve gotten coverage for the kids so my wife could rest and had a ton more to do when I get home—I still feel like a piece of shit husband. In part, because I am. I’d never tell a friend to prioritize their career over taking time to deal with something like this. But I don’t know what to do because I’m the attorney of record for these cases and many of them came to the firm to work with me. I can’t just blow deadlines that will affect a clients’ case. I feel like everyone at the firm that could actually be a help to me is strapped with their own caseload and all the people who have capacity to help aren’t all that helpful.
Is this how I will always feel working in litigation? Or is it just a consequence of working somewhere going through growing pains? I’m open to any advice—because I’m getting legitimately worried I’ll be at another breaking point again soon if I don’t get some help. But I’m also kind of unsure on how to do that.
In the title, I mention potentially hating being a lawyer because ever since the Federal Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs I feel like I dedicated my life to a profession that said it operated by certain rules and doesn’t. Dealing with more regular litigation practices (bad faith discovery objections etc.) hasn’t improved my opinion of the profession much since. Please note I’m not taking any political position aside from being passionate about the rule of law.
2024.06.05 05:44 Chazinggreatness23 That first girl that I can’t stop thinking about? Anybody else experience this? Almost 6 months out and can’t replace or forget her?
Had a two month relationship with a girl I fell deeply in love with. I took it week by week. Eventually becoming exclusive after which was assumed. I (22 M) and she (22 F) were having the time of our lives. Going out drinking, dancing, kissing, having dinners, and playing beer die. Supporting each other like no tomorrow.
She promised we would eventually date early on. Idk if she always lied to me or if she truly loved me. If she was upset I was upset and if she was happy. I am not an emotional person or sensitive but one day on snap she sent it looked like she was crying and myself almost started crying. I loved celebrating her successes and supporting her. I loved having her support me and actually be able to talk about my sports interests.
But in my head I knew things were never gonna slow down for her to eventually have the relationship she envisioned with me anytime soon. She knew that too. So she broke up with me soon after we became exclusive when things with her college fell apart. I was devastated. I fought for her and told her how special she was, but her mind was made up. I told her I’d be there for her no matter what in my heartfelt text but I had no chance.
Almost two months passed by and I see her again. I didn’t want to see her because I wasn’t healed at all. She was high on a pedestal in my mind. I talked to her being friendly with her and trying to get answers. We even hugged at one point. I did everything as best I could trying not to upset her. We agree on a meet up while at the bar. I ask her about it the next day and no response. Two days later I follow up. She answers this time and it’s not nice at all. She basically nailed me saying I made her uncomfortable. I was extremely upset because all I’ve ever done for her when we were out was protect her.
I got removed from her snap. So I just tried to get rid of her on everything else. Months pass by and I feel guilty but I try not to think of her. Starting a new talking stage but that is going slow but okay at the time. My friend mentioned seeing her on the dating app we met on. And then my mind got messed up again and I haven’t been the same. A week passed by and she unfollowed me on something after I added on my story. Kinda upset me.
I just think of her everyday as I loved her.haven’t felt the same about anyone since. My current relationship has fell to shit where I can’t even get a daily response anymore. I want to just tell her I’m done but I don’t want to restart again. Dating apps have also been a mess for me lately.
Does it get better? Will she come back? Will I heal?
submitted by Chazinggreatness23 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
She promised we would eventually date early on. Idk if she always lied to me or if she truly loved me. If she was upset I was upset and if she was happy. I am not an emotional person or sensitive but one day on snap she sent it looked like she was crying and myself almost started crying. I loved celebrating her successes and supporting her. I loved having her support me and actually be able to talk about my sports interests.
But in my head I knew things were never gonna slow down for her to eventually have the relationship she envisioned with me anytime soon. She knew that too. So she broke up with me soon after we became exclusive when things with her college fell apart. I was devastated. I fought for her and told her how special she was, but her mind was made up. I told her I’d be there for her no matter what in my heartfelt text but I had no chance.
Almost two months passed by and I see her again. I didn’t want to see her because I wasn’t healed at all. She was high on a pedestal in my mind. I talked to her being friendly with her and trying to get answers. We even hugged at one point. I did everything as best I could trying not to upset her. We agree on a meet up while at the bar. I ask her about it the next day and no response. Two days later I follow up. She answers this time and it’s not nice at all. She basically nailed me saying I made her uncomfortable. I was extremely upset because all I’ve ever done for her when we were out was protect her.
I got removed from her snap. So I just tried to get rid of her on everything else. Months pass by and I feel guilty but I try not to think of her. Starting a new talking stage but that is going slow but okay at the time. My friend mentioned seeing her on the dating app we met on. And then my mind got messed up again and I haven’t been the same. A week passed by and she unfollowed me on something after I added on my story. Kinda upset me.
I just think of her everyday as I loved her.haven’t felt the same about anyone since. My current relationship has fell to shit where I can’t even get a daily response anymore. I want to just tell her I’m done but I don’t want to restart again. Dating apps have also been a mess for me lately.
Does it get better? Will she come back? Will I heal?
2024.06.05 05:32 BOfficeStats Domestic BOT Presale Tracking (June 4). Thursday Previews: Bad Boys ($4.54M/$4.59M EA+THU), The Watchers ($1.18M), Inside Out 2 ($8.03M), A Quiet Place: Day One ($3.87M) and Deadpool and Wolverine ($28.50M). LotR re-releases each targeting $4M+ 1st days.
BoxOfficeTheory Presale Tracking
USA Showtimes As of May 31
Presales Data (Google Sheets Link)
BoxOfficeReport Previews
Quorum Update (June 3)
DOMESTIC PRESALES
Domestic Calendar Dates (last updated May 23):
JUNE
May 11
May 14
May 16
May 18
May 21
May 23
May 25
May 28
May 30
June 1
Note: I have removed most tracking data that has not been updated for 2 weeks. I think there is value in keeping data for a week or two but at a certain point they start to lose their value and should not be treated the same as more recent tracking data.
submitted by BOfficeStats to boxoffice [link] [comments]
USA Showtimes As of May 31
Presales Data (Google Sheets Link)
BoxOfficeReport Previews
Quorum Update (June 3)
DOMESTIC PRESALES
- YM! (Marcus is doing $7 matinees for children and seniors all day every day before 4 PM for the summer (May 31).)
- abracadabra1998 (Comp: $4.11M THU. REALLY good update, every comp went up significantly, save for Equalizer 3 which was already a really high comp to begin with. Hopefully keep showing signs of converging. I cannot overstate it, this state's demographics are overwhelmingly NOT the target audience for it (June 4). Not a great update, dropped against most comps (June 3). Biggest outlier here is Equalizer ($6.47M), but that is also probably the best comp... tough to say with a release like this where we don't know just how backloaded it will be (May 30).)
- Cmasterclay (Bad Boys as a franchise plays like Avengers: Endgame in my area, so unfortunately any insights will be totally useless, but I can say it's at least selling well in South Florida so far - the bare minimum! (June 2).)
- crazymoviekid ($4.07M THU comp. This boy better explode in walk-ups cause we have $4M-$6M for now, but it could go lower (June 3).)
- el sid ($5.1M THU Comp. $5.65M BB3 comp. 107% up since last MON. That's in line with expectations but honestly I hoped for a bit better jump. On one hand, the direct comparison number is good. OTOH BB4 definitely needs very decent walk-ups. Somehow I expected a bit more buzz till today. But for the moment oveunder 5M judging from my theaters (June 4). Counted yesterday for THU: 395 tickets with 10 days left. Bad Boys 3 (6.36M) had on MON of the release week 915 tickets = 43% for Bad Boys 4 with 7 days left to come closer or maybe overtake. My guess is that BB4 could have 800-1000k tickets by next MON, so it could be pretty much on par with BB3. BB4 does not have stellar presales and after several disappointments I shouldn't exaggerate but compared to the best comps it looks quite good for BB4 as you can see (May 28).)
- Flip (1.18x Furiosa T-2 great jump (June 4). 0.704x Furiosa T-3 (NYC area would tilt to Furiosa more so it’s not a great comp but the only one I have) (June 3). Decided to add one more theater but there was good growth in both of the original two (May 27).)
- jeffthehat ($4.18M THU Comp. Nice day. The Fall Guy and Civil War comps were pulled 8-10 hrs later so the average is probably undershooting a bit (June 4).)
- katnisscinnaplex (Comp: $5.74M EA+THU. I was looking for a low 20s jump today, but it exceeded that with a +32%! Things are looking up and I'm feeling good about a 5m floor for previews and could go 6m or higher if it keeps this up (June 4). Slightly outperformed all comps yesterday! Looking for around a 20-24% jump today (June 3). Three day pace is ahead of all comps. Good sign heading into the final week (June 2).)
- keysersoze123 (I think it was a good day. In line with what I expected. let us see how rest of the week goes (June 3). Its going below Apes movie at this point and that was quite backloaded as well. So that is a good target for this movie. Of course early shows for Apes movie was way wider and stronger while this is more limited shows (June 2). We have to wait until early next week to tell the tale. These movies finish very strong. That said at this point I dont see a path for it to hit last movies OW ($62.5M). That is going to be a stretch plus the internal multi will be weaker relative to MLK weekend release of last movie. So I hope it goes for at least 6m previews to keep 50m OW in play (June 1). Pace is definitely going up but is it enough. We will only with final week pace (May 31). Still at very low pace (May 30). Presales are again not that much at this point. I think its not going to hit the heights of last movie (May 28). It should start to amp up sometime this week (May 27). This wont be fan driven. Even the last one initially trailed Dr Do little in presales but amped up big time close to release. This will be a late bloomer. I am still expecting 50m+ OW (May 23).)
- Porthos ($3.43M EA+THU comp. Went with a mixture of R-rated films along with PG-13 films that should have had at least some urban skew (plus threw in GxK, because why not)? Problem is, I have a derth of R-rated tracked films. Of them, John Wick 4 ($2.53M) is probably the most "on point", but that has some frontloading concerns, probably. On the flip side, the horror comps are likely too backloaded, even for a film like this (only have the one EA showing, FWIW — but I tend to think it's just shifting Thr->Wed in this market) (June 4).)
- Rorschach ($4.2M THU comp and $6.53M FRI comp.)
- TheFlatLannister (Comp: $6.04M THU. Excellent day. Really starting to accelerate. Thinking $6M previews could happen (June 4). Comps still converging around $5M (June 3). Excellent T-4. I would say this is heading over $5M for previews (June 2). Pace staying steady, but it increased against all comps which is a good sign. 39% of total sales is coming from the greater Miami region, which is a really strong split. The demo for this film is perhaps coming out (June 1). Actually slowed down a bit (May 31). Not as good as yesterday's update, but still increasing against comps (May 30). Excellent jump today. Starting to see the acceleration (May 29). Steady pace, no acceleration yet. Switch to G x K since that had super strong walkups ($6.12M THU comp) and Bad Boys 4 will likely replicate this (May 27). Comps ($4.11M) would mean $40M+ Opening Weekend (May 24).)
- TwoMisfits ($5 Atom tickets went live at 5am today (June 4). Aging male-skewing franchises tend to get the biggest bump from this deal. Folks are on the fence but know what they are getting. Female skewing non-sequel ones tend to get zero help. You need baseline interest to get people willing to pay anything, b/c these still are $5. The other effect of the deal is that movies releasing around the $5 hits sometimes get hurt. June TMobile $5 Atom movie. This could help it go huge, like last year's Spider-Verse (May 22).)
- vafrow (Comp: $4.1M THU. Alright, now we're cooking with gas. It's starting to accelerate (June 4). It had the bigger day it needed. We'll just need to see if it sustains for the week, but a good start for sure (June 3). Still slipping. This needs a big day either tomorrow or TUES to have hope of reversing it's slide (June 2). Even without the slap, I don't think the 15-25 demographic has much affinity for Will Smith. That younger demo though is usually key to getting a big walk up. Breakdown of sales on my numbers tilt heavily to the ages 19+ VIP screens. That strikes me as older audiences looking for an outing without teenagers. That audience is important, but there's a limit to how much business they can drive. I can definitely be wrong. But every day that we don't see trends reverse is making me nervous. Slower than expected. It's staying pace with the films with a slow finish and falling behind the walk up heavy films (June 1). A good and steady day (May 31). A bounceback day that helped undo some of the damage from earlier this week (May 29). It's not having a great week. It's slowly slipping against comps, when the hope was that it would be gaining. New showtimes went up for the THU, and it's only gotten one additional screen. It's the 4DX screen, which makes sense, as what else justifies a 4DX screen at this stage (May 29). It's staying pretty flat (May 28). Zero sales day when all comps seemed to have done well. Not a great result. Note: This isn't a holiday weekend in Canada, so that doesn't explain the slow sales. Hopefully it's just an anomaly. This has been very steady to date (May 27). Ghostbusters and Apes both went up in comps, but I didn't have Hunger Games included, so it's brought the average down. Still, its growing at a steady pace (May 26). I still expect this to be more walk up friendly than the comps being used, and should see a gradual rise as the date gets closer (May 25).)
- YM! (Definitely overindexing in the more diverse areas of SE Wisconsin but underindexing in less diverse areas (like a reverse Furiosa). 57% ahead of Furiosa without EA puts us at 5.5M previews and whilst not the perfect comparison, I feel good about a surprise for this one so pencil me in at 4.5-5.5M previews. Looking to overperform in SE Wisconsin if my four theaters are anything to go by. About 57% ahead of Furiosa and 170% ahead of Furiosa with Early Access. Definitely showing strongest signs in the Hispanic and Black heavy areas of SE Wisconsin (June 1). Like IO2 the pace for Bad Boys is small but mighty. EA is only available at Majestic much like Garfield. With EA, it’s a few tickets shy of Furiosa’s T-6 but without them it’s only a bit over half. Either way both is really good. I think we’ll continue to see the gap grow over the week but as of rn, I am thinking around $6-7m previews without EA solely on vibes to an OW north of $55m (May 25). Same thing as IO2 for Bad Boys (see May 23 IO2 comment), I expect this to not only skew more GA friendly and should bulk up ticket sales as we get closer to release. It’s almost at half of Furiosa’s T-6 which is a pretty great thing. Should easily outdo it by T-6 imho (May 23).)
- abracadabra1998 ($0.92M THU comp. At this rate I would not be surprised with anything between $800k-1 Million at this point (June 4). Tarot horribly underperformed there, everything else pointing to around 800k-1 Million right now (June 2).)
- crazymoviekid ($2.28M THU comp. Wide range, but I'll be safe at $1M-$2M for now (June 3).)
- el sid ($0.80M THU Comp. Counted today for THU had 125 tickets. Knock at the Cabin had 1 day later, on WED for THU, 471 tickets and The Strangers had 360 tickets. Watchers won't reach those numbers but I think it will gain a bit in the comps in the next few days (theaters in NY were recently added and those in San Francisco very recently). At the moment I think it will miss double digits and get high single digits (June 4). Pretty muted start in my theaters. Yesterday 37 tickets sold for THU, May 6, and today it were 44 (with showtimes in 5 theaters). Comps (always counted for THU): Tarot (715k) 28 tickets with 6 days left. The First Omen (725k) 28 tickets with 8 days left. Abigail (1M) 97 tickets with 6 days left. The Strangers: Chapter One (1.2M) had on MON of the release week 215 tickets. I don't think The Watchers can reach Strangers presales, maybe half of that (= ca. 100 sold tickets next MON). I go with around 500k from previews for The Watchers (May 30).)
- filmlover (Hasn't sold anything near me (May 26).)
- Flip (Less sold than yesterday (June 4). These are good numbers considering it’s only playing in 2/3 theaters I track (May 28).)
- katnisscinnaplex ($0.95M THU Comp. Getting closer to 1m (June 4).)
- Rorschach ($1.36M THU comp and $2.59M FRI comp.)
- TheFlatLannister ($0.77M THU Comp. Yeah, I don't think this is hitting double digits OW (June 3).)
- BoxOfficePro (Fathom Events has also announced that select Regal Cinemas will present the films in 4DX on June 22/23/24 for Fellowship/Towers/Return respectively (May 14).)
- AnthonyJPHer (Theaters must be either extremely confident in this release or they are desperate because they added several showings from my last update. Or it’s possible that there was so much demand that they added more showings. Fellowship (468 tickets, 14 showtimes, 5 theaters) on June 8 and June 15 (97 tickets, 4 showings, 4 theaters). Towers (396 tickets, 13 showtimes, 5 theaters) on June 9 and June 16 (82 tickets, 4 showings, 4 theaters). Return (426 tickets, 10 showtimes, 5 theaters) on June 10 and June 17 (82 tickets, 4 showings, 4 theaters). 1,551 tickets total. 1,290 tickets for the first week (62% growth from last update). 261 tickets for the second week (massive 342% growth from last update). It’s preforming really strong surprisingly. I could see an opening bigger than The Phantom Menace re-release if there are enough theaters and showtimes. (June 4). Fellowship (269 tickets, 6 showtimes, 4 theaters) on June 8 and June 15 (21 tickets, 4 showings, 4 theaters). Towers (243 tickets, 4 theaters) on June 9 and June 16 (22 tickets, 4 showings, 4 theaters). Return (281 tickets, 4 theaters) on June 10 and June 17 (16 tickets, 4 showings, 4 theaters). 852 tickets total. 793 tickets for the first week. 59 tickets for the second week (May 28).)
- katnisscinnaplex (Opening Day Average Comps (June 8-10): Fellowship ($8.03M), Towers ($6.99M), and Return ($6.92M). [in response to "The number should be closer to 5 or 4M, walk ups really won’t be that good for a rerelease and there’s no PLF"] Yeah, you're probably right. Looking at these numbers against final 1hr comps would be around 2-2.5m. A lot of places have added additional shows so there is definitely room for growth this week. Currently thinking each of these make around 6m, assuming there are enough shows (June 2).)
- NRG (Now tracking for $85M domestic debut (May 30).)
- abracadabra1998 (Comp: $6.52M THU. Still mostly following along that Kung Fu Panda 4 ($6.32M) number for now (June 2). Keeps chugging along, comps will start converging soon (May 30). Good update, hopefully this keeps on rising (May 23).)
- AniNate (Finally a little movement here. 23 THU, 52 Fri-Sun (compared to 18 THU and 23 FRI-SUN on May 17) (May 22).)
- AnthonyJPHer (Some growth for THU, not bad but I expect sales to increase steadily as we get closer to release. Presales are good enough to not be a disaster like Garfield, but not big enough to guarantee a 100m opening. I still like what I’m seeing though. My local theater has finally shown some signs of life with this film. 5 tickets sold. Way better than Garfield at the same point. Might not be completely accurate, but looking extremely strong on FRI. 900 tickets for the 5 theaters I track. Maybe even 1,286 tickets if my numbers are accurate. That tells me this is not front loaded whatsoever. Or at the very least not preview heavy (May 27).)
- charlie Jatinder (Comp: $12.2M THU at MTC2. Moving along nicely (May 21).)
- Flip (Decided to add one more theater but there was good growth in both of the original two (May 27). Fan event on the 16th has 43 tickets sold from 2 showtimes (compared to 8 showtimes and 73 tickets sold for previews), so that might be depressing previews a bit.)
- katnisscinnaplex (Comp: $4.43M THU. No great comps for this. The last week and especially final few days will tell everything we need to know (May 31).)
- keysersoze123 (I expect presales to accelerate even more this week and of course leading up to final week (June 4). I think upcoming week pace is going to tell the tale. Not too happy with late social media reactions/reviews for this movie. That hinders any chance of early boost (June 2). If you compare this to any animation movies seen recently including Minions, its doing very well. Really good this far out for sure (May 25). Chugging along at this point (May 19). Show counts show Plexes are expecting a big OW. I dont remember when we last had a animation movie start with so many shows. I wont count Mario as that was a fan driven movie. Definitely not great presales but this is not a fan driven movie. Let us see where things are in the final week (May 15).)
- Porthos (BAD COMPS: $8.48M THU. I literally have zero good comps. I generally don't keep track of sub-5m pure kids animated films until right before release. It is too backloaded (or rather NOT frontloaded) for the AtSVs of the world to make much sense. IO2 had a (too) long (by half) pre-sale window which is wrecking a whole bunch of other slightly more plausible comps. If I had a complete track of KFP4, that'd probably help a great deal. As often the case with films that should be very backloaded, won't really know how backloaded they are until the week of release. (will note that IO2 does seem to be picking up a hint of steam right now. Which should bode well for its overall ticket total). Horror is, along side pure kids animation, THE most backloaded genre there is when it comes to pre-sales. ATP for the Nope comp will be wrecked, but the pace should be very instructive. Name recognition for Jordan Peele led to slightly stronger pre-sales for a non-franchise horror installment which should map fairly well with the in-built name recognition of IO2. Is complicated by the fact that Nope had an even longer pre-sale window than IO2, but that might help counterbalance some of the ATP errors. Won't be a good comp at the end but right now it might be one of the better ones, especially to show the insane growth that should be on the table. I don't think it's much of a coincidence that it's one of the few comps I have right now that is pointing to double digit previews (May 30). I don't agree with the undertone of concern when it comes to ticket sales. They seem perfectly fine to me, maybe even somewhat strong. It just isn't selling like a frontloaded CBM/fan driven franchise (even when adjusting for animation). So I suppose it really comes down to how much we think this will still act like a traditional kids animation film when it comes to buying pattern, how much demand has been burnt off, and how many people are still going to buy tickets but see no particular need to buy them early. Which I suppose really can't be answered until we get close to the time when kids animation films typically accelerate. But, I keep looking at the sales in Sacramento and not seeing much cause for concern (May 25). Decided to add Nope ($12.62M) to the comp block. Not because I think it's a particularly good one (ATP differences are a major red flag), but more for pace considerations considering how similar horror and kids animation are when it comes to being backloaded. The other consideration with Nope is that it was on sale for nearly two weeks longer, so it did have a small amount of extra time to pad some seats sold. But maybe the errors (ATP vs length of pre-sale) will cancel each other out. PROBABLY NOT! But the pace at the very least should be interesting (May 25).)
- Skim Beeble (I don't know if it's just me, but starting June 20th PLF showings for Inside Out 2 are stopping after around 4 PM. Is there possibly a surprise release coming or is it just a scheduling showtime thing from the chains. (This is AMC) (May 29).)
- TheFlatLannister (Comp: $8.52M THU Florida and $7.57M THU Orlando Comp. Thinking $85M OW is about right. Don't see much data as of right now to suggest a number much lower or higher than that (May 31). Excellent pace this far out. Does feel like something big is around the corner (May 27).)
- vafrow (THU comps are ignored since 2/3 comps (IF and Garfield) are obscenely high ($28M and $124M). Growth remains solid (June 4). Really strong day. I'm not sure what drove it, but it's pulled ahead of KFP4 in sales (June 3). Decent day (June 2). I still have a wide divide between comps. KFP4 just did tremendously well around here, making it a challenging comp to use. Or Garfield and IF being the opposite (June 1). Take the comps with a grain of salt. The low numbers on IF and Garfield really throw things off. Numbers were flat all week before a jump in the last day (May 29). It's starting to grow (May 25).)
- YM! (SouthEast Wisconsin: Already outdone Garfield minus EA. Ideally I’d like heavy buying to be prevalent next week with some form of buildup this week. Right now, looking at other data on here, put me down for 7-8M previews. At NS using pre-pandemic comparisons, it’s about 22% ahead of Onward’s T-9, 57% ahead of Sonic’s T-9 and 46% of Aladdin’s T-9 (June 1). Using Keysersoze123's earlier MTC1 data, the pace is pretty good. $6.74M average THU comp. The same caveats apply (higher ATP than the other animations due to older skew and PLFs but having lower ATP than TLM as that skews older and likely has more of audience to buy upfront, and Wish being on Discount TUES muddies things up) but the important thing is that pace healthy and gainer ground against its comparisons. Feel like tracking is right on the money of 75-85m OW but could grow stronger if pace continues strong and reviews are strong (May 26). The pace is moving nicely as we have about two and a half weeks left. Think there’s potential for ticket count pace to grow strongly. I have no comparisons but it is at Garfield’s EA-less T-3 ticket sales. Going to probably not say much on preview predictions but my thoughts of an OW in between 75m-100m still stand. Not much to make of things until we get to around 2 weeks for rudimentary guessing and opening week for figuring things out (May 25). Little has changed as IO2 keeps on trucking along. I do theorize at least from the 250 ticket selling Funko Event, it’s plausible families and fans went for that date instead of THU night previews. Not much to make of things until we get to around 2 weeks for rudimentary guessing and opening week for figuring things out. At the very least, I like that it doubled its previous sales a week ago as it shows pace and outdid Garfield’s T-6 (May 23). Did some snooping around for the Funko Event as I was curious if perhaps families getting presales for the opening SAT vs opening THU as those sales are kind of weak THU and uhm it’s at 250 tickets. Which is like 5 times Garfield’s EA showing of 50 tickets all at PLF prices despite normal theaters. Most of which at 9:30 AM with only one theater having it at 11:00 AM (May 22).)
- Pinacolada (Actually sold some around me. It does seem like Focus is giving it kind of a shitty release though. Small screens. Definitely no PLFs, which 20th Century Studios was gonna get it Dolby back when they had it. There's 3 theaters really near me. Only 1 of them has this on sale as of now, though the other 2 theaters may come later? (May 26).)
- abracadabra1998 ($4.09M THU comp. Quite a good start, all of these (imperfect) comps had much larger windows so they should be going up the next couple of updates before it stabilizes (June 2).)
- AnthonyJPHer (Alright start to presales, although kind of muted in my opinion. I’m hoping it’ll start picking up the pace soon, but it’s alright. Not much to say here (May 31).)
- el sid (Counted on FRI (so after ca. 24 hours) for THU, June 27. Yesterday almost nothing happened sales-wise. Two days ago sold 315 tickets. Comps (always counted for THU): AQP II (4.8M) 402 tickets with 9 days left (Day One already at over 75%) and similar sales in the different regions (Very good sales in LA AMC, quite good ones in NY and pretty muted (which is normal with so many days left) in the heartland. Miami is the exception (Day One with 53 tickets to 26 back then). Scream (3.5M) 325 tickets with 26 days left. Halloween Ends (5.4M) 511 tickets with 10 days left. Nope (6.4M) 837 tickets with 11 days left. Insidious: The Red Door (5M) 260 tickets with 8 days left. Overall that was a quite good start in my theaters (June 2).)
- Flip (Has a fan event on the same day of previews, PLF only (May 30).)
- katnisscinnaplex ($4.84M THU comp.)
- Porthos (Took a look locally. Not too bad. Before I tracked DBOX, AQP2 sold 160 tickets at T-22 and AQPD1 sold 166 tickets at T-28. Now I am tracking DBOX seats, which at a glance sold 19 tickets tonight. However three theaters locally converted to having DBOX showings, so some local theaters will have more DBOX sales. In line with D1 of AQP2, more or less. Tickets sold for the 3pm fan event are practically non-existent right now (8 tickets sold). There are so many problems with an AQP2 comp as to make it nearly worthless but promising start (May 31).)
- TheFlatLannister ($4.44M THU Comp. Pretty good start, but nothing crazy or outright telling me a big breakout is coming (May 31))
- vafrow ($2.1M THU comp. This went backwards, which is never good. And three days in, I think the initial rush is gone and this stays pretty quiet until we get closer (June 2). Second day didn't go as well (June 1). Not a bad start. I don't have great comps with it starting at a month out (May 31).)
- AMC ("Some 200,000 movie fans have bought their AMC tickets already. This is more Day 1 ticket sales at AMC than for any other R-rated movie ever." Insiders tell The Hollywood Reporter that first-day sales are likely around $8 million to $9 million if extrapolating the 200,000 stat cited by Aron (May 22).)
- DEADLINE (Already heating up eight weeks before its debut, having already collected some $8M in first day ticket sales. $8M is pretty remarkable for an R-rated movie two months before release. While there are no direct comps on Deadpool & Wolverine ticket sales in post-Covid history, its current cash bests the 24-hour advance ticket sales of The Batman ($6.5M), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 ($6M) and John Wick: Chapter 4 ($1.4M). The Batman and GOTG3 opened to respective 3-day weekends of $134M and $118.4M (May 22).)
- FANDANGO (Broke Fandango’s best first-day ticket sales record for 2024. Best first-day pre-seller from the Deadpool franchise (May 21).)
- abracadabra1998 ($22.33M Average THU Marvels+Dune2 comp. Just wanted to give a frame of reference for how this is doing (pretty darn good!). Just chuggin along (June 2).)
- AniNate (THU sales still largely biased towards primetime evening showings. There may be FOMO but not enough for people to take off work early. Good lord already 80+ THU previews sold for Deadpool at Canton (May 20).)
- AnthonyJPHer (Extremely strong growth from OD for THU. We have a monster on our hands here people. Buuut. Let me temper the excitement somewhat. The FRI numbers are good, stronger than Inside Out 2 by a considerable margin. However Inside Out 2 is looking very backloaded. This is looking extremely presales heavy right now. Much more than IO2’s 1,200 tickets for FRI. But here lies the problem. There is only 122 tickets separating THU and FRI for Deadpool and Wolverine, and for IO2, there is 500 tickets between the two days for that movie. This far out I’m not freaking out. I think the gap will increase. It just alarmed me a little. I still think it’s going to be massive though. Just a word of caution (May 28).)
- Charlie Jatinder (Comp: $28.23M THU. BP2 added ~48K from T-39 to T-26. D&W added ~42K from T-66 to T-53. Amazing (June 3). Weirdly strong day today, selling 200+ tix (May 31). Moving along well (May 27). Nearly 300 sales day vs ~260 by Black Panther & ~200 of GOTG3. Another brilliant day. Given the length of sales window, comps be falling off but they have remained steady for first 4 days (May 24). Looking at keysersoze123's MTC1 data: These are incredible (May 22). $40.22M THU (MCU first day sales). Amazing day two at MiniTC2. Well ahead of BP2, GOTG3 and AM3. Not too far off from Thor 4. This is more impressive considering they all were ~25-35 days out while this is 65 days out. MTC2 has lower ATP generally due to smaller screens, less PLF, and more family friendly chain. Does much better PTA than MTC1 (May 21).)
- Inceptionzq (Denver Comp: $25.69M THU. Drafthouse THU/FRI/SAT/SUN comp: $31.04M/$38.62M/$40.21M/$22.35M (May 21).)
- jeffthehat (Took my first look in Indiana yesterday. Won't do a full post because I missed like 20 shows. But the gist is it was at ~3600 tickets sold and ~400 shows. Just as a point of reference, here are the highest values for tickets sold I have in my database. Bob Marley Wed T-1 = 3309 tickets sold. Dune 2 Thu T-1 = 3041 tickets sold. Godzilla x Kong Thu T-1 = 2328 tickets sold. Thus, sales are already the highest I've tracked with two months to go (May 29).)
- keysersoze123 ([response to Jatinder] Previews pace is terrific. Ahead of what I expected. Of course Wakanda was more backloaded because of Veteran's Day. FRI was way higher compared to where Deadpool is (3rd week of presales). I think Thor is better comp once we are into its presale window. I think we could be close to bottom end of the curve for this movie. Probably around 200K for previews/90k ish for FRI by end of June (June 3). Previews was taken late yesterday and FRI data was just now. Still going quite strong. very impressive after huge OD (May 28). Still really strong 3 days later (May 25). 1st few days of PS is all about fanboys so T-x does not matter. By this FRI it will be in steady state mode. With this long a cycle that would be at very low levels. Looking at FRI sales, its IM will be closer to Thor 4 than BP2. So we can do the projections based on how the previews will go. However Its really early. Let us wait until we have T-x comps. Probably will have to wait until July to get credible comps. MTC2 early sales tend to be way weaker for all movies. The disparity for big movies is even higher. Nothing out of ordinary in day 2 pace for MTC1 (May 22). Obvious skew on previews (compared to FRI) as its 9+ weeks from release. Excellent growth even past 2:15 PM. Finished ahead of BP2 and ~20K below Thor 4 (116k for DxW and FINAL The Marvels previews at 133k). It has the longer cycle. This includes fan shows which sold 18K+ in initial check around noon PST. Fan event is just MTC1. I dont see anything for any other MTC so far or smaller chains. I think at this point we need to comp with 2022 MCU movies if OD presales are on par. Until we are within T-x cycle for this movie, we cannot comp after 1st 2-3 days. Fan shows are yuge. Adding FanShows and Previews should put it between BP2 and Thor 4 for now. Terrific OD. Over time, GotG3 should provide great comps. I can say for sure, its no where in the ballpark of DS2 which did 36m previews. Really good start. Should finish the day ahead of Ant 3 I think. Sales will taper off after fanboy rush. This does not include fan shows. No full data yet but show counts for previews (MTC1 - 7427 and MTC2 - 2914). MTC1 shows they are ready for big numbers. MTC2 is more conservative and numbers will go up close to release. If I have to guess based on really early indications, its OD between Guardians 3 and Ant 3 at MTC1. MTC2 I unfortunately cannot get data (May 20).)
- Legion Again (Previews this early in summer are almost a THU opening, so Fri soemthing like +35-55% from Th is IM ~4.9-5.5. If we get some strong Fri sales when we’re close maybe I’ll drag it up to 5.6 or something but it will be really really tough to beat that. Expecting an IM close to Thor 4. Better reception (in avg case, just by regression to the mean) but bigger previews/more fanrush element, ~cancelling. T-65 Projection Matrix ($166M-$186M OW) (May 22).)
- Porthos (Comp: $20.87M THU. Approx Earned So Far (Sacto Market Based Comps): $7.41M (June 3). For long releases of MCU/SW Saga caliber, it usually takes about 6 to 8 days for the initial wave to stop. The Rise of Skywalker didn't really "bottom out" until D9 or so (T-51). Then at T-21, more or less, it started up its acceleration again. Can see similar patterns for MCU long runners (May 24). MCU/SW films tend to have a bit longer of a slope-down on the decent of the "u-curve" so I think I'll keep posting "Day x" comps for at least a couple more days (May 23). Pretty standard Day 2, really. Best sign, I think, is it nearly matching BP2 (that also had a long pre-sale window starting at T-38) (May 22).)
- TalismanRing (NYC Regal Local. 17 shows (3 3D, 3 RPX, 11 Reg 2): 102 tickets sold for first hour - almost half for the 7pm RPX showing. COMPS MON opening week: Marvels: 91 (11pm), Eternals: 266 (7pm), Black Widow: 239 (5pm), and Venom 2: 131 (6pm) (May 20).)
- TheFlatLannister ($150M locked imo. Don’t really see under $30M for previews and a 6x multi gets it to $180M OW. With GOTG 3 early reception I think $200M becomes a real discussion (May 22). $44.36M Dune 2 Day 2 comp. Pretty ridiculously strong day 2. Sold more tickets on T-65 than Dune 2 did in its final day of presales. $22.42M THU GOTG3 Comp. Considering this thing is 60+ days out, I'd say day 2 was amazing (May 21).)
- Tinalera (Toronto having an especially good run on pre sales- overall sales looking healthy (May 27). For a movie this far out, yea presales are doing well in Vancouver and Calgary. Its hard as very few movies open this early, but its healthy when we are getting between 5-10 percent sales for a movie not due out for 2 months (May 24).)
- vafrow (Comp: $37.8M THU. Growth not quite as high as I'd like for a full week, but I'm pretty sure I had a miscount for one of the big IMAX screens that probably has thrown off the numbers. I've kept comps in, but I'm really stretching the utility (June 1). 12% over two days is pretty strong once the rush passes. We're not at the bottom of the curve yet it seems (May 24). 8% growth at this stage is very positive. I expect another drop tomorrow, but I'm probably not going to touch this until the weekend at this stage. I'm comping high, and without a proper MCU comparison (Marvels doesn't count), it's hard to gauge, but I feel this is just doing really well here (May 22).)
- YM! (Sold ~10.6x Furiosa's T-6. Such a strong start. Definitely feels like we got a potential 25m previews/150m+ opener. Still don't buy 200m OW but am starting to see 30m previews/175m+ OW as a strong possibility (May 20).)
- Flip (Getting much more support than Inside Out 2, which currently has 16 showtimes for opening FRI whereas DM4 is getting 22 showtimes for WED opening day (June 4).)
- Porthos (There is an extra "event" (Wed July 3rd) called the "Super Ticket". At a glance, looks to be super limited (only one showing in the entire Greater Sacramento market), still could siphon away tickets from other showings in the locales that do have them. No idea what sort of chain limitations might be at play here. Secondly, (July 6th) "Despicable Me MEGA SAT Family Event". Looks to be a Marcus Exclusive, ala Inside Out 2 Funko event. Chance of siphoning off some amount of sales from earlier days, so might be kept in the back of the mind of anyone who is comping any regions that have Marcus/Movie Tavern Theaters.(June 4). The WED all-day release will mess with comps even more than a Discount TUES release will (June 3).)
- TwoMisfits (My Cinemarks are continuing the summer "put up or shut up" for presales with 2 screens and 12 showings at each for DM4 (1 has 1 PLF screen, so 1/2 the showings at one are PLF) (June 4).)
Domestic Calendar Dates (last updated May 23):
JUNE
- (June 5) Presales Start [Despicable Me 4]
- (June 6) Presales Start [Twisters]
- (June 6) THU Previews [Bad Boys: Ride or Die + Watchers]
- (June 7) Presales Start [Blue Lock: Episode Nagi]
- (June 8) 1-SAT Re-Release (1st day) [LotR: Fellowship of the Ring Extended Edition]
- (June 9) 1-SUN Re-Release (1st day) [LotR: Two Towers Extended Edition]
- (June 10) 1-MON Re-Release (1st day) [LotR: Return of the King Extended Edition]
- (June 10) Social Embargo Lifts [9PM PT Inside Out 2]
- (June 12) Review Embargo Lifts [12PM PT Inside Out 2]
- (June 13) THU Previews [Inside Out 2]
- (June 14) Presales Start [MaXXXine]
- (June 15) 1-SAT Re-Release (2nd day) [Fellowship]
- (June 15) Inside Out 2 Funko Family Event (SAT: Marcus Exclusive?)
- (June 16) 1-SUN Re-Release (2nd day) [Towers]
- (June 17) 1-MON Re-Release (2nd day) [Return]
- (June 18) X One-Night-Only Fan Event (includes special sneak peek of MAXXXINE)
- (June 20) THU Previews [Bikeriders + Janet Planet]
- (June 22) 1-SAT Re-Release (3rd day) [Fellowship]
- (June 23) 1-SUN Re-Release (3rd day) [Towers]
- (June 24) 1-MON Re-Release (3rd day) [Return]
- (June 27) THU Previews [Blue Lock + Daddio + Horizon: Chapter 1 + A Quiet Place: Day One]
- (July 1) Presales Start [Fly Me to the Moon + Longlegs]
- (July 3) Opening Day [WED: Despicable Me 4 (including Super Ticket showings)]
- (July 4) Opening Day [THU: Possum Trot]
- (July 4) THU Previews [MaXXXine]
- (July 6) Despicable Me 4 MEGA SAT Family Event (SAT: Marcus Exclusive?)
- (July 11) THU Previews [Fly Me to the Moon + Untitled New Line Horror movie]
- (July 17) EA [Twisters]
- (July 18) THU Previews [Twisters]
- (July 25) THU Previews [Deadpool and Wolverine (including 1 PLF fan show at 3 PM) + Didi + Fabulous Four]
- (July 29) Presales Start [Alien: Romulus + It Ends With Us]
- (August 1) THU Previews [Harold and the Purple Crayon]
- (August 5) Presales Start [Borderlands]
- (August 8) THU Previews [Borderlands + It Ends With Us + Cuckoo + The Fire Inside + Trap]
- (August 12) Presales Start [Alien: Romulus]
- (August 15) THU Previews [Alien: Romulus + Horizon: Chapter 2 + Ryan’s World the Movie: Titan Universe Adventure]
- (August 22) THU Previews [Blink Twice + The Crow + The Forge + Slingshot]
- (August 29) THU Previews [City of Dreams + Reagan + They Listen]
May 11
May 14
May 16
May 18
May 21
May 23
May 25
May 28
May 30
June 1
Note: I have removed most tracking data that has not been updated for 2 weeks. I think there is value in keeping data for a week or two but at a certain point they start to lose their value and should not be treated the same as more recent tracking data.
2024.06.05 05:16 Hurls_33 I need a bit of help
Hello everyone!
I’ve never been in an actual proper relationship, even though i’m 15 M. I’ve had a lot of talking stages, (like really close, don’t let me get into it) but i’ve never actually like “dated” someone
There is this girl who goes to my school, we are both in the same grade and we share a few classes, we also have the same part time job during the winter down at the local rink. Whenever i’m around her in school, we’re always talking to each other. It’s never awkward, I catch her staring at me a lot aswell. She’s the kind of person that’s so perfect you find it hard to describe her, i’ve never had that with a girl before but my feelings run a lot more deep with her than with anyone else, they’ve been growing for about 4 months now. I would like to say we are close as a friendship.
We used to talk a lot on Snap, she helped me get over one of my old talking stages not that long ago. But recently she has kinda stopped talking to me on snap. I’m thinking it was from last weekend, when I very politely denied not going to a party with her, even though she offered me a ride too and from the party, (I wasn’t feeling well that night and I never told her). I’m thinking that’s why she kinda stopped talking to me, I don’t know. We still talk in person but it’s not the same, I’m on delivered on snap for just over a day, and we lost our 40 day streak.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for me moving forward in this, so I dont make any mistakes, and try to get close again. I’ve been telling myself that I need time with all of this, but it turns out i’m not the most patient person, and it’s stressing me out a lot. Thank you!
submitted by Hurls_33 to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
I’ve never been in an actual proper relationship, even though i’m 15 M. I’ve had a lot of talking stages, (like really close, don’t let me get into it) but i’ve never actually like “dated” someone
There is this girl who goes to my school, we are both in the same grade and we share a few classes, we also have the same part time job during the winter down at the local rink. Whenever i’m around her in school, we’re always talking to each other. It’s never awkward, I catch her staring at me a lot aswell. She’s the kind of person that’s so perfect you find it hard to describe her, i’ve never had that with a girl before but my feelings run a lot more deep with her than with anyone else, they’ve been growing for about 4 months now. I would like to say we are close as a friendship.
We used to talk a lot on Snap, she helped me get over one of my old talking stages not that long ago. But recently she has kinda stopped talking to me on snap. I’m thinking it was from last weekend, when I very politely denied not going to a party with her, even though she offered me a ride too and from the party, (I wasn’t feeling well that night and I never told her). I’m thinking that’s why she kinda stopped talking to me, I don’t know. We still talk in person but it’s not the same, I’m on delivered on snap for just over a day, and we lost our 40 day streak.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for me moving forward in this, so I dont make any mistakes, and try to get close again. I’ve been telling myself that I need time with all of this, but it turns out i’m not the most patient person, and it’s stressing me out a lot. Thank you!
2024.06.05 05:07 GulltheCactus [F4M] Taking Your Girlfriend on a Date to the Mall [Cute] [GFE] [Girlfriend Speaker] [Boyfriend Listener] [Shopping] [Established Relationship] [Mentions of Sex] [Caught in the Dressing Room?]
Sorry for all of the scripts I am dropping in such a short amount of time and flooding the sub; I’m having fun with it haha. A script concept that my fave vtuber (and best friend) CelineWhitetail requested!
Okay to monetize, okay to paywall (share with me), okay to gender swap, okay to edit if it is to make changes related to swapping of genders but nothing else (there is a line in there about dudes not being allowed in the women’s dressing room so, that might be a challenge to adapt).
If you like this and want to record it, please credit me as GulltheCactus on Reddit, Twitter, or Twitch!
Scriptbin link: https://scriptbin.works/s/84c4w
A longer NSFW version will be posted on the sister spicy sub and on my Scriptbin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[mall ambience, sneakers on tile]
Okay, I still can’t believe you’ve never had a date at the mall. It’s like…a rite of passage in high school.
Yeah, I mean, you would go to the mall with your friends on a Friday night and all of the boys would go too and you would awkwardly flirt by teasing and playing hard to get in the food court until one couple got brave and dared to break away from the group and hold hands. Then the rest of the group would make fun of them while the guy would buy his new girlfriend stupid things from Hot Topic! Malls are perfect for dates!
I mean why not? There’s everything here. You can get a soft pretzel, boba tea, new shoes, and dodge around preteens at every turn, all without going back outside the comfort of slightly stale central air conditioning.
Haha, okay okay. It’s a little dorky. But it’ll be fun. Come on, hold my hand and buy me things I don’t need from Hot Topic, babe.
Really? I mean, that’s fair. I think I’ve been in Hot Topic like…once. And that was somewhere around…2007. Do you think they still sell anime t-shirts and like…those edgy little decorations that were shaped like boobs or dicks?
I swear to god, I am not making that up. It was scandalous to go into Hot Topic because you’d probably see a cartoon penis.
Ohhh, you’re right! That was Spencer’s! Yeah I guess they were both a little too edgy for highschool me. [lowers voice] I was a good girl then.
I don’t know, have you done anything to deserve me being good, huh? Hah, yeahhhhh, you are pretty alright, I guess.
[giggling and more mall chatter ambience]
Ooh, yeah, it smells amazing. I think it’s the Great Cookie upstairs? Or…does the Great Cookie exist anymore? It occurs to me now that I’m walking through this mall that I don’t think I’ve been here in literally 15 years so my mall intel might be severely out of date.
Well, where did you want to go? Start at this end and just go through the whole first floor?
…Well what did you have in mind?
Okay, I accept. But just know that I am gonna kick your ass. I can think of like five different stores that are already competing for the title of “freakiest merchandise,” so finding the weirdest purchase in this mall will be child’s play, babe.
Okay, okay. I still think I’m going to kick your ass, but it’s a deal. You pick the store I have to buy something from, and I pick your store. Winner gets…hmm, let’s let the winner decide for the extra stakes. Shake on it?
[a quick kissing noise from boyfriend]
Hah, you and your kisses won’t distract me. You’re looking at a woman who has never backed down from a challenge in her life. So do you want to go straight to our respective challenge stores or just make it a surprise?
Sounds good to me. We’ll delay your inevitable demise.
[walking along, mall ambience]
Awww, I loved this store when I was in high school and college!
Yeah, it’s like a slightly more expensive boutique, you know, jewelry, bags, scarves, etcetera. It looks like they have a few more dresses and things than they used to.
Nah, I don’t think it’s really my style anymore, I was preppier back then. But it’s a nice nostalgia moment.
What about you? I think they have a Games Workshop and there’s another little local DND and comics store just a few stores down.
Yeah, I think it’d be cool to check out! Do you have any physical dice? I know you pretty much always play online so…
Aww, that’s so cute! Do your siblings still have their sets too?
I love that. We mostly played board games, and usually only when we went over to my one cousin’s house.
No, I’ve never played it but everyone talks about how fun Catan is. We played like 90’s and oughts popular games. You know, Monopoly, Scattergories, Pictionary. Ooh, I loved Cranium, I destroyed at that game.
No, I don’t know what you mean. I am a perfectly well-adjusted and not at all overly competitive individual, thank you.
But yeah, I also wanted to try…the Hill House one?
Yes! Betrayal at the House on the Hill! That one! Everyone in my Friday DND group tells me it’s so fun and I’ve never had anyone in person to play it with.
Really? Yesssss! Okay come on it’s right here.
[distant greeting from an employee]
Hi! I’m great, how are you? We’re just looking right now, thanks!
Okay so the board games are over there—Ooh, look at those dice! Are those glass? They’re so pretty! And look, babe, they match this set. Oh and wait, look at these dice trays!
[sound of footsteps moving away]
[slightly more distant, talking to an employee] Yeah! I play on Roll20 and Foundry online, I’ve never had any physical dice…
[sound of your own footsteps, picking up a board game or two and pieces shift in the boxes]
[getting closer as she speaks] Hey babe, so those dice trays are made by a local guy—I got a business card for his Etsy too—and they’re two for $45–
[pause]
Haha, wait how did you have time to grab all of this stuff—Oh my god is that a Yuumi plushie?! She’s so cute, oh my god!
Aww, babe. You really were gonna hold my hand and buy me things. Okay, wait, new plan for this store. I saw things I wanted to get you, too, so let’s split up and then meet at the front of the store after we pay?
[peck on the cheek sound]
Okay, see you soon!
[more footsteps and shopping sounds, eventual beeping of the card reader as you pay]
[the crinkle of a plastic bags]
Hah, I’m smiling because I’m excited to show you what I got you! Come on, there’s a free bench over there.
Okay, so, I remember how much you said you liked this anime as a kid, and they had a section for model building so…Ta da!
Yeah! I remembered you loved the one that could change its armor and then as soon as I saw the blue version and the orange one I was like, yep, Liger Zero Schneider, that’s the one.
It was on sale!
…Like 15% off? Come on, you love it though, right?
See!
Yeah, and I love that. I’m so excited to play Betrayal at the House on the Hill and Catan. And that Yuumi plushie is going right on my desk.
Yeah? …Okay! But let me show you what I got us both first!
Here, this one’s for you, and this one’s mine! Aren’t they awesome? The guy does his own woodworking and staining and then his wife designs the fabric for the trays!
Haha yeah! See look, I got the one with the lilacs and daffodils and roses, and you’re the suns with the fun sunglasses!
Of course you’re the sunshine! You’re my sunshine.
Nope, you are.
We’re not arguing about this in public, we’re too disgusting, I refuse. This one is yours. And I got you these dice!
Look they have little quotes from famous literature all pasted on the inside.
Yeah, of course you do, it’s cause you’re such a nerd, babe.
[peck on the cheek]
You’re right, I do love it.
[dice clacking together]
Wait, aww! They’re so cute! The orange ones look like Amber, oh my god! I didn’t even see these cat dice!
Hah, sneaky sneaky. But yeah, that makes sense, I did see you go talk to the guy at the dice counter like instantly.
And then—
…What? It’s just one more thing, I promise! And it’s small!
See, look! It spins! And you can keep it on your keys, so anytime you need to make a choice and can’t decide, you can spin it and the d20 can decide for you.
Hah, yes, I do love you anyway, but the times when neither of us can come to a decision point make me want to cry sometimes.
Haha, love you!
…Okay? Why?
Wait, I didn’t know we were doing the bet yet. I thought I was supposed to pick your store.
Okay, okay. I’ll close my eyes, fine!
I’m scared, why is this box so heavy?
[horrified pause]…Oh my god—
Stop laughing! Oh my god, you did not—!
Why am I trying to hide it? [lowered voice] Maybe because I don’t want everyone in the entire mall to know I’m an anime degenerate, okay?
No, you did not win!
Yes, I am horrified because you probably just spent $400 on a statue of Sebastian from Black Butler, and no, the ridiculousness of the situation is not lost on me.
I mean, no, I don’t think I could buy you something worse than this.
…I don’t think it’s any of your business where exactly I am going to display this stupidly detailed figure of my anime husband in my room, okay? That’s private.
No you didn’t win.
No—
[a sigh] Okay, fine. I cannot think of something that would horrify you more than this purchase horrifies me.
No, I’m not going to say it.
Because you cheated. You used deeply held, embarrassing anime knowledge against me. Humph!
[peck on the cheek sound] I said it before and I’ll say it again, you will not distract me with your kisses.
Oh? And just what is my punishment for losing exactly?
[annoyed sound] You will use any excuse to allow yourself to buy me fancy clothes and things I don’t need, won’t you?
You’re ridiculous. [peck on the lips] Thank you, you don’t have to.
Hah! Okay, fair. So where exactly are you taking me to buy said clothes you want to [lowers voice flirtatiously] take back off of me?
Oh geez, babe. Nordstrom’s is so overpriced!
No, you didn’t win, you cheated! I am holding hands and following you under protest! I am gonna file an appeal with the Silly Couple Amateur Bets Commission.
Wait, hold on. Please don’t spend too much?
No.
No!
$200.
No way! $250.
I am being reasonable, you’re the one saying you want to buy me $5000 worth of clothes for no reason!
Yeah, a date to the mall. We’re supposed to go split a lemonade and a soft pretzel from Auntie Anne’s, not spend a down payment on a car.
[sigh] $1000.
[mock threatening] Fine. And if you spend a cent more—
[hushed, slightly embarrassed tone at saying this in public but still trying to be threatening] I won’t go down on you for a month!
[indignant] Yes I could!
[deadpan] I hate you.
Thank you. $1000 is already an insane amount to be spending.
Oh?
Okay, okay. I can get behind that. But I do get to veto clothes I really don’t think I will look good in.
Yeah, okay. Laying it on a little thick aren’t you, buddy?
Yeah, well, you’re handsome.
Okay, so the women’s clothes are on the next floor up I think.
[escalator noises]
Yeah, I got my prom dress at a Nordstrom’s, I went with a couple of my friends.
This might shock you, knowing what you know about me, but it was…green.
I know! I’m predictable. What can I say? Nature-loving bitch right here.
[stifled laughter] And I’m sure you looked stupidly handsome even in your pale blue suit.
Okay, so, where do we start…?
Hah, fine. But remember your limit.
Ooh, this is cute! And the blue lace would match that one tie I got you last year.
Yeah, it brings out the hazel flecks in your eyes.
Okay, wow. Yeah that is—Babe, that dress is $400!
Fine, fine, but I’m tallying! I’ve got my phone out, calculator right here!
But fine, what else did you want me to try on?
…To be honest, I’m sort of surprised you didn’t start at the lingerie and bathing suit section.
Ooh, look at that one! Do you think I’ll look dumb with all the straps? I’m just hoping it’ll make my boobs look good.
Yeah, of course you would say that, you’re down bad.
Haha, of course. [whisper] I’m down bad for you too.
[clicking of hangers against each other on the racks]
Hmm. What do you think about—
…Babe. That bikini is practically microscopic. I don’t think I can even try that on in the store.
Okay, okay, I’ll give it a shot.
Anything else you want to throw on the clothing pile?
You do realize that every new thing you add is probably another 5 minutes in the dressing room right?
Alright, alright. They have a five item limit so I guess you’re waiting your butt out here with the rest of it.
Yes, it is a cute butt. I’ll be back soon.
Yessss, I know. I will show you everything that fits.
[quiet department store chatter]
[squeak of a dressing room door and a hushed stage whisper] Babe, I cannot walk out there and show you this bathing suit.
[still a stage whisper] Because it’s tiny! Basically all you can see is my underwear.
Then come in here!
[the sound of the dressing room door creaking again] Tada?
Hah, okay, calm down. Sure, my boobs look great but—
[shutting and locking the door as footsteps approach]
[whisper] Shh!
Because you’re not allowed to be in the women’s dressing room.
[the sound of clicking hangers on a rack, footsteps coming closer, more clinking…and the footsteps walk away]
[quiet bursts of laughter for a long time] Okay, okay. That was close.
Oh?
Hah, yeah, considering I’m not letting you leave until I’ve finished changing and can be your lookout, I guess you really did win the bet. [flirty whisper] Enjoy your front row seat, babe.
[kissing sounds as the mall ambience outside fades out]
submitted by GulltheCactus to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
Okay to monetize, okay to paywall (share with me), okay to gender swap, okay to edit if it is to make changes related to swapping of genders but nothing else (there is a line in there about dudes not being allowed in the women’s dressing room so, that might be a challenge to adapt).
If you like this and want to record it, please credit me as GulltheCactus on Reddit, Twitter, or Twitch!
Scriptbin link: https://scriptbin.works/s/84c4w
A longer NSFW version will be posted on the sister spicy sub and on my Scriptbin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[mall ambience, sneakers on tile]
Okay, I still can’t believe you’ve never had a date at the mall. It’s like…a rite of passage in high school.
Yeah, I mean, you would go to the mall with your friends on a Friday night and all of the boys would go too and you would awkwardly flirt by teasing and playing hard to get in the food court until one couple got brave and dared to break away from the group and hold hands. Then the rest of the group would make fun of them while the guy would buy his new girlfriend stupid things from Hot Topic! Malls are perfect for dates!
I mean why not? There’s everything here. You can get a soft pretzel, boba tea, new shoes, and dodge around preteens at every turn, all without going back outside the comfort of slightly stale central air conditioning.
Haha, okay okay. It’s a little dorky. But it’ll be fun. Come on, hold my hand and buy me things I don’t need from Hot Topic, babe.
Really? I mean, that’s fair. I think I’ve been in Hot Topic like…once. And that was somewhere around…2007. Do you think they still sell anime t-shirts and like…those edgy little decorations that were shaped like boobs or dicks?
I swear to god, I am not making that up. It was scandalous to go into Hot Topic because you’d probably see a cartoon penis.
Ohhh, you’re right! That was Spencer’s! Yeah I guess they were both a little too edgy for highschool me. [lowers voice] I was a good girl then.
I don’t know, have you done anything to deserve me being good, huh? Hah, yeahhhhh, you are pretty alright, I guess.
[giggling and more mall chatter ambience]
Ooh, yeah, it smells amazing. I think it’s the Great Cookie upstairs? Or…does the Great Cookie exist anymore? It occurs to me now that I’m walking through this mall that I don’t think I’ve been here in literally 15 years so my mall intel might be severely out of date.
Well, where did you want to go? Start at this end and just go through the whole first floor?
…Well what did you have in mind?
Okay, I accept. But just know that I am gonna kick your ass. I can think of like five different stores that are already competing for the title of “freakiest merchandise,” so finding the weirdest purchase in this mall will be child’s play, babe.
Okay, okay. I still think I’m going to kick your ass, but it’s a deal. You pick the store I have to buy something from, and I pick your store. Winner gets…hmm, let’s let the winner decide for the extra stakes. Shake on it?
[a quick kissing noise from boyfriend]
Hah, you and your kisses won’t distract me. You’re looking at a woman who has never backed down from a challenge in her life. So do you want to go straight to our respective challenge stores or just make it a surprise?
Sounds good to me. We’ll delay your inevitable demise.
[walking along, mall ambience]
Awww, I loved this store when I was in high school and college!
Yeah, it’s like a slightly more expensive boutique, you know, jewelry, bags, scarves, etcetera. It looks like they have a few more dresses and things than they used to.
Nah, I don’t think it’s really my style anymore, I was preppier back then. But it’s a nice nostalgia moment.
What about you? I think they have a Games Workshop and there’s another little local DND and comics store just a few stores down.
Yeah, I think it’d be cool to check out! Do you have any physical dice? I know you pretty much always play online so…
Aww, that’s so cute! Do your siblings still have their sets too?
I love that. We mostly played board games, and usually only when we went over to my one cousin’s house.
No, I’ve never played it but everyone talks about how fun Catan is. We played like 90’s and oughts popular games. You know, Monopoly, Scattergories, Pictionary. Ooh, I loved Cranium, I destroyed at that game.
No, I don’t know what you mean. I am a perfectly well-adjusted and not at all overly competitive individual, thank you.
But yeah, I also wanted to try…the Hill House one?
Yes! Betrayal at the House on the Hill! That one! Everyone in my Friday DND group tells me it’s so fun and I’ve never had anyone in person to play it with.
Really? Yesssss! Okay come on it’s right here.
[distant greeting from an employee]
Hi! I’m great, how are you? We’re just looking right now, thanks!
Okay so the board games are over there—Ooh, look at those dice! Are those glass? They’re so pretty! And look, babe, they match this set. Oh and wait, look at these dice trays!
[sound of footsteps moving away]
[slightly more distant, talking to an employee] Yeah! I play on Roll20 and Foundry online, I’ve never had any physical dice…
[sound of your own footsteps, picking up a board game or two and pieces shift in the boxes]
[getting closer as she speaks] Hey babe, so those dice trays are made by a local guy—I got a business card for his Etsy too—and they’re two for $45–
[pause]
Haha, wait how did you have time to grab all of this stuff—Oh my god is that a Yuumi plushie?! She’s so cute, oh my god!
Aww, babe. You really were gonna hold my hand and buy me things. Okay, wait, new plan for this store. I saw things I wanted to get you, too, so let’s split up and then meet at the front of the store after we pay?
[peck on the cheek sound]
Okay, see you soon!
[more footsteps and shopping sounds, eventual beeping of the card reader as you pay]
[the crinkle of a plastic bags]
Hah, I’m smiling because I’m excited to show you what I got you! Come on, there’s a free bench over there.
Okay, so, I remember how much you said you liked this anime as a kid, and they had a section for model building so…Ta da!
Yeah! I remembered you loved the one that could change its armor and then as soon as I saw the blue version and the orange one I was like, yep, Liger Zero Schneider, that’s the one.
It was on sale!
…Like 15% off? Come on, you love it though, right?
See!
Yeah, and I love that. I’m so excited to play Betrayal at the House on the Hill and Catan. And that Yuumi plushie is going right on my desk.
Yeah? …Okay! But let me show you what I got us both first!
Here, this one’s for you, and this one’s mine! Aren’t they awesome? The guy does his own woodworking and staining and then his wife designs the fabric for the trays!
Haha yeah! See look, I got the one with the lilacs and daffodils and roses, and you’re the suns with the fun sunglasses!
Of course you’re the sunshine! You’re my sunshine.
Nope, you are.
We’re not arguing about this in public, we’re too disgusting, I refuse. This one is yours. And I got you these dice!
Look they have little quotes from famous literature all pasted on the inside.
Yeah, of course you do, it’s cause you’re such a nerd, babe.
[peck on the cheek]
You’re right, I do love it.
[dice clacking together]
Wait, aww! They’re so cute! The orange ones look like Amber, oh my god! I didn’t even see these cat dice!
Hah, sneaky sneaky. But yeah, that makes sense, I did see you go talk to the guy at the dice counter like instantly.
And then—
…What? It’s just one more thing, I promise! And it’s small!
See, look! It spins! And you can keep it on your keys, so anytime you need to make a choice and can’t decide, you can spin it and the d20 can decide for you.
Hah, yes, I do love you anyway, but the times when neither of us can come to a decision point make me want to cry sometimes.
Haha, love you!
…Okay? Why?
Wait, I didn’t know we were doing the bet yet. I thought I was supposed to pick your store.
Okay, okay. I’ll close my eyes, fine!
I’m scared, why is this box so heavy?
[horrified pause]…Oh my god—
Stop laughing! Oh my god, you did not—!
Why am I trying to hide it? [lowered voice] Maybe because I don’t want everyone in the entire mall to know I’m an anime degenerate, okay?
No, you did not win!
Yes, I am horrified because you probably just spent $400 on a statue of Sebastian from Black Butler, and no, the ridiculousness of the situation is not lost on me.
I mean, no, I don’t think I could buy you something worse than this.
…I don’t think it’s any of your business where exactly I am going to display this stupidly detailed figure of my anime husband in my room, okay? That’s private.
No you didn’t win.
No—
[a sigh] Okay, fine. I cannot think of something that would horrify you more than this purchase horrifies me.
No, I’m not going to say it.
Because you cheated. You used deeply held, embarrassing anime knowledge against me. Humph!
[peck on the cheek sound] I said it before and I’ll say it again, you will not distract me with your kisses.
Oh? And just what is my punishment for losing exactly?
[annoyed sound] You will use any excuse to allow yourself to buy me fancy clothes and things I don’t need, won’t you?
You’re ridiculous. [peck on the lips] Thank you, you don’t have to.
Hah! Okay, fair. So where exactly are you taking me to buy said clothes you want to [lowers voice flirtatiously] take back off of me?
Oh geez, babe. Nordstrom’s is so overpriced!
No, you didn’t win, you cheated! I am holding hands and following you under protest! I am gonna file an appeal with the Silly Couple Amateur Bets Commission.
Wait, hold on. Please don’t spend too much?
No.
No!
$200.
No way! $250.
I am being reasonable, you’re the one saying you want to buy me $5000 worth of clothes for no reason!
Yeah, a date to the mall. We’re supposed to go split a lemonade and a soft pretzel from Auntie Anne’s, not spend a down payment on a car.
[sigh] $1000.
[mock threatening] Fine. And if you spend a cent more—
[hushed, slightly embarrassed tone at saying this in public but still trying to be threatening] I won’t go down on you for a month!
[indignant] Yes I could!
[deadpan] I hate you.
Thank you. $1000 is already an insane amount to be spending.
Oh?
Okay, okay. I can get behind that. But I do get to veto clothes I really don’t think I will look good in.
Yeah, okay. Laying it on a little thick aren’t you, buddy?
Yeah, well, you’re handsome.
Okay, so the women’s clothes are on the next floor up I think.
[escalator noises]
Yeah, I got my prom dress at a Nordstrom’s, I went with a couple of my friends.
This might shock you, knowing what you know about me, but it was…green.
I know! I’m predictable. What can I say? Nature-loving bitch right here.
[stifled laughter] And I’m sure you looked stupidly handsome even in your pale blue suit.
Okay, so, where do we start…?
Hah, fine. But remember your limit.
Ooh, this is cute! And the blue lace would match that one tie I got you last year.
Yeah, it brings out the hazel flecks in your eyes.
Okay, wow. Yeah that is—Babe, that dress is $400!
Fine, fine, but I’m tallying! I’ve got my phone out, calculator right here!
But fine, what else did you want me to try on?
…To be honest, I’m sort of surprised you didn’t start at the lingerie and bathing suit section.
Ooh, look at that one! Do you think I’ll look dumb with all the straps? I’m just hoping it’ll make my boobs look good.
Yeah, of course you would say that, you’re down bad.
Haha, of course. [whisper] I’m down bad for you too.
[clicking of hangers against each other on the racks]
Hmm. What do you think about—
…Babe. That bikini is practically microscopic. I don’t think I can even try that on in the store.
Okay, okay, I’ll give it a shot.
Anything else you want to throw on the clothing pile?
You do realize that every new thing you add is probably another 5 minutes in the dressing room right?
Alright, alright. They have a five item limit so I guess you’re waiting your butt out here with the rest of it.
Yes, it is a cute butt. I’ll be back soon.
Yessss, I know. I will show you everything that fits.
[quiet department store chatter]
[squeak of a dressing room door and a hushed stage whisper] Babe, I cannot walk out there and show you this bathing suit.
[still a stage whisper] Because it’s tiny! Basically all you can see is my underwear.
Then come in here!
[the sound of the dressing room door creaking again] Tada?
Hah, okay, calm down. Sure, my boobs look great but—
[shutting and locking the door as footsteps approach]
[whisper] Shh!
Because you’re not allowed to be in the women’s dressing room.
[the sound of clicking hangers on a rack, footsteps coming closer, more clinking…and the footsteps walk away]
[quiet bursts of laughter for a long time] Okay, okay. That was close.
Oh?
Hah, yeah, considering I’m not letting you leave until I’ve finished changing and can be your lookout, I guess you really did win the bet. [flirty whisper] Enjoy your front row seat, babe.
[kissing sounds as the mall ambience outside fades out]
2024.06.05 05:06 KaliflowerNo91 When does it click that you know you need to change
I was always into my studies growing up and all through out college very ambitious. When I graduated got my first design job got demoted because I was burnout from school. All the while dealing with a chronic illness I’ve had since I was 18. Got another design job that made me feel supported and made me grow then I started dating because I felt like I got the career now I need a partner. And it just never goes as I plan. I feel like I always still to this day pour so much into my romantic relationships and it’s gotten me no where. Between health and trying to date and work I just feel like I’ve been stagnant and stuck for the past 10 years. But I’m so codependent I feel like I threw my like away sometimes just to be up under someone. My house is a mess, I have about 5 different diseases, I had to get a kidney transplant but I’m worried about it, I’m on a lot of medication for my health problems, I don’t work out. And on top of just getting let go from my job my current partner basically told me they want to exit stage left with me because their not growing. I think it’s time for a change I don’t want to be like this forever. But I don’t where to start. I’m so obsessed with the idea of a relationship I’ve lost myself along the way. I just feel super unmotivated. And I want to do better. I’m almost in my mid 30s.
submitted by KaliflowerNo91 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
2024.06.05 04:38 My_Punk Will you marry me?
Yes, this is a repost. It’s less than a month to the 3rd anniversary of her accident. It’s rough.
Since there are those here that have a burr in their ass and want to play games - they somehow think it’s better for whatever reason, but will post this one anyway. Oh and the name My Punk? That’s what I called her.
Goodnight
Thank you for following along mine and Ashley’s journey. As I’ve often said, this is as much for me and my healing as it is to give to little A. Sorry for the length. While this won’t be the last I write, I won’t go any further than this because this marks the last time I saw her.
June 2021
Since Ashley’s surprise visit in 2019, we have visited each other six more times. This would turn out to be the eighth, and final, visit.
While she was back in Washington, we would FaceTime every night without fail. If I close my eyes, I can picture this last FaceTime before her trip back here. Her hair was disheveled and she was laying on her stomach while we were talking. Some nights the camera is facing straight at her face, but not that night. She just had to position it where the curve of her butt was visible and those little boy shorts she loved to wear were on full display. She knew what she was doing and it worked - a cold shower was definitely needed. But I digress.
“Are you going to meet me at the airport tomorrow,” she asked while twirling her hair and biting her lip. I loved how she bit her lip - not all of the lower lip but just the corner. It was something she did when she had something on her mind.
For some reason that always drove me crazy. There was just something incredibly sexy about that and she knew I loved it. “I might make it,” in a silly attempt to tease her.
With a half grin, she shakes her head feigning annoyance. Just something about the way she did that. She sat up in full view and said, “remember this?”
“You kept it?” It was my old UGA shirt she had cut, making it a half shirt, and wore it all those years ago on Sundays when I’d make pancakes and she’d clean. It looked as good on her at it did back then.
The clock seemed to stop. Maybe even go in reverse. It was a Saturday and I was to pick her up at noon. This was going to be the trip I was going to ask her to marry me. I had made reservations for us to stay at this little B&B in Charleston. Holding the ring box I tried to think of a romantic place - Fort Sumter overlooking the water? The Angel Oak? The more I thought, the more my nerves were getting to me. “Maybe I’ll just wing it,” thinking to myself. That turned, incidentally, out to be the best idea.
Since I have joint custody of my kids from the previous marriage, I still had them when it was time to pack her up. In hindsight, it may have been wiser to drop them off a day earlier given the confrontation between their mom and Ashley, but I felt they should meet her. I had talked to Ashley about it and she was very excited to meet them. It wasn’t like they had never seen her since we FaceTimed nightly. Somehow they would find their way over to talk - however we always tried to talk after they went to bed.
As we waited at the airport, the kids were asking a million questions as all kids do. At least they were fascinated with something else, having never been to an airport before. Her plane was on time and it wasn’t long before she came down. She was wearing this little sun dress - instant flashback to the party. Absolutely beautiful.
Every time I met her at the airport, she’d literally run and jump on me, showering me with hugs and kisses. What can I say? She loved me. But not this time, it was all about the kids. Out of her carryon she pulled a small gift for each - something each liked based on their conversations. They took to her instantly, which warmed my heart beyond measure.
My turn was next. While she didn’t do her usual out of respect for the kids, she did hug and kiss me. She loved me.
They had a million questions for her and she was very patient with them. As we drove home, they did nothing but talk to her. It did not go unnoticed that she slipped her hand into mine as she’s done since our first date. They knew.
As I was making dinner, she got down on the floor with them and played games - things their mom rarely did with them. The motherly, nurturing side of her was coming out and it was a joy to watch.
I know what you are thinking, she stayed in a spare bedroom above the garage. As I was putting them to bed, they both told me how much they liked her.
The following day found all of us driving down to Jacksonville to visit the zoo. All in all, it was one of the best days we’ve had, according to the kids at least. The day ended all to quickly. It was obvious that it would have been a perfect fit.
Apparently my daughter had decided to send her mom a picture of her and Ashley. I knew something was up during the text exchange about dropping them off at our usual time. “Be nice” didn’t cut it. There was very bad blood between those two, and that day proved it. However, that confrontation will be another story.
“Your ex sure knows how to ruin a great day.” If words could be seen, they would have been red. Angry isn’t the word for it.
Quick thinking saved the ride. “Don’t unpack,” I told her. “I got us a B&B for a few days.”
She looked over at me and smiled. “Oh really? Do tell.”
“Nope” was all I could muster while trying to avoid the dagger eyes. I was milking it for all it was worth. While she loved surprises, the suspense was killing her. It was fun to see her squirm as she was like a kid waiting to open presents.
“Well, even if you won’t tell me you know how to put a smile on my face.” With that she leaned over and kissed me.
It had been a long, hot day at the zoo and we both were ready to get cleaned up. “I’m going to take a shower,” she said as she walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Now I may not be the smartest man, but I wasn’t about to turn down an invitation. Watching her undress was a thing of beauty.
“You’re staring again,” she said as she stood, biting her lip. Her form was exquisite - still a work of art. Stepping into the shower, she turns, “you coming?”
Invitation number two. I had forgotten that she liked her showers at near-sun temperatures as I jumped in a little too fast. “Damn, woman” I screeched as I tried to become one with the wall.
“I had forgotten how much of a wimp you are,” she said while turning down the temp to that of a flame thrower. “Now come here.”
Invitation number three. With that, she put her arms around my neck, “I’ve missed you.” It must have been a combination of missing me plus a little residual anger from the confrontation with the ex, but that was one interesting shower.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going,” she asked while laying on my chest later that night.
“Are you going to tell me that secret you keep mentioning?” See how that goes? Did it work? Not with her, proving that once again I know nothing about women.
“Soon. Very soon.” She was absentmindedly drawing circles on my cheek when she turned and looked me in the eye and half-whispered, “on our next trip, I promise.” If she could have snuggled in any closer, she would have. I went to sleep with her head on my shoulder and leg across me like I was a big pillow.
The next morning found her waking me up at 0500. If anyone got excited about trips, it was this one. She had the car loaded and coffee made. What can I say? I love that woman.
Convincing her to wait a while was a herculean effort. I was bombarded with more questions than my kids are able to come up with. Eventuality we went to this cozy little breakfast place on the water that we used to frequent those years ago. The perfect place for a quiet, romantic little breakfast.
There is something soothing about sitting outside on a deck listening to the water lapping against the pilings as we ate. She was very talkative and animated that morning, as she always was when she was excited. I don’t remember the conversation but I do remember thinking that I’ve never loved someone as much as her.
By the time we passed through Beaufort she knew exactly where we were going, as there are only two ways into Charleston from where we lived. She loved Charleston. “Is it that little place on the park by the water.” She asked.
“Yes. Yes it is.” We had seen it many times as we toured the area on earlier trips. Her eyes grew wide with excitement. She was happy and that was all that mattered.
We were staying in a quaint little carriage house tucked behind a 19th century house and facing the water. Beautiful isn’t the word for it. Amazing. The house was situated perfectly so one could sit on either story porch and enjoy the harbor breezes. The setting couldn’t have been any better.
After checking in and getting situated we explored the area by foot since it’s all centrally located. Battery park, rainbow row, old City Market - all of it. What a day that was. The spring in her step told me all I needed know. She was beyond happy.
She wanted to go to an upscale restaurant for dinner that night. She had packed this little black dress that fit her just perfectly. Combine that with heels and you have perfection. She looked like something you’d see in a magazine. I know, way out of my league.
She was drawing looks wherever we went that night, and rightly so. With her heels pushing her over six foot tall, she commanded attention. She certainly had mine.
After dinner we found this little dessert cafe/bar and rounded out the evening with a walk around the downtown area. The night was seasonably warm but not overly, with the breeze coming off the water. The stars were out and It was a cloudless night. Perfect.
We came across this ghost tour that had I openings. Fortunately, this one was a two person carriage tour. I know what you’re thinking, a ghost tour can’t be fun. Actually, our tour guide was great - but learning things not commonly taught is what makes it so good. Besides, what is better than a horse-drawn carriage ride just for two?
It was almost midnight before we got back. We were exhausted after a full day. Fortunately the shower was big enough for the both of us. This time I got to control the temperature. She loved having her head washed and as I stood there watching the water run down her back the only thought that came to my mind was that tomorrow was the day - the day that I was going to ask her to be my wife.
We went to bed the same way we always do - with her head on my shoulder and one leg across me, like I was a big pillow. She fell asleep almost instantly. Not me, I was staring at the ceiling and listening to the gentle breeze blowing through the live oak trees.
We slept in the following morning and after the complimentary breakfast, we headed out for the day - with the ring in my pocket in case the opportunity presented itself. She, being a history buff like me, wanted to visit historical sites. We visited the USS Yorktown because she’s never been on an aircraft carrier and also to see what I did with the Navy. While the Yorktown was much older than the ship I was on, it was still the same basic concept. We went from one end of the ship to the other. She had a million questions and loved it as much as I did.
We hopped on the ferry out to Ft Sumter. One would think that an old fort would be any sort of romantic place, but this one has its charms. We were standing on the parapet and overlooking the ocean when she moved in front of me and took my arms so she could wrap them around her waist. She leaned back against my chest while holding them at the same time. It’s like she was trying to make us one. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” she said.
Thinking this was the opportunity, I started to reach into my pocket when I chickened out.
“What are you doing?”
I had to think quick so all I could manage was “touching your butt.” Yeah, that didn’t work so well.
She turned and looked at me with that half-grin while shaking her head, “that’s not my butt, you dork.” One of the things I loved about her was her sense of humor. She took my arms and wrapped them even tighter. There was something about her, especially wrapped up like that, that just soothed my soul. If there is such a thing as a soulmate, she was it.
We had a busy day of playing tourist. Even though we’ve been to Charleston a few times, this one was special. This one was us as we were those years ago and should have been all along. I loved the way she would squeeze my hand just a little tighter when she saw things she liked.
It was after dark by the time we got back to the room. Grabbing a blanket I had packed, I asked to grab a bottle of wine and the package in the fridge, which were chocolate covered strawberries - her favorite, by the way.
“Your are just full of surprises, aren’t you,” she asked while wrapping her arms around her neck. If she only knew. It was now or never.
We walked over to the park and found a place near the water to put our blanket and lay our stuff out. There was just enough light from the streetlights in the park so that we could see, but not enough to spoil the stars and overall setting. The gentle breeze coming off the water was blowing through the massive old oaks. The sound of the rustling leaves was very soothing and helped set the stage perfectly.
Add the wine was chilling, we were laying on the blanket with her on my arm. The stars were beautiful and it wasn’t long before a shooting star appeared.
“Those are supposed to be good luck,” she said as one flew over. Here I was, under a beautiful sky with the girl of my dreams. How could it get any better?
Now or never. I had to move her head as I got up. “What are you doing,” she asked as she propped herself up on one elbow.
With my heart racing wildly, I got on one knee and pretended to get the strawberries. Pulling the ring out, I said “Ashley, will you marry me?”
There was just enough light to see her face. Still on one elbow, “wha” was all she managed to get out.
“I should have done this a long time ago. Ashley, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Her eyes started to well up. Of all the years I’ve known her, I’ve only seen her cry maybe a handful of times. By this time we were standing. She was crying full on - “you better not be joking with me.”
“I’m not, Ashley. You are my person and I want to grow old with you,” I said at I slipped the thing on her finger.
She looked at me then the ring and finally back at me. “Of course I will,” she said as she jumped on me wrapping her legs around me. We must have been sight for any passerby, with me completely holding her and crying with joy.
I don’t know how long we stood like that, but eventually we made it back to the blanket. After finishing the wine and strawberries we laid there a while just talking. She must have looked at the ring a hundred times if she did once. She was happy. I was ecstatic.
“Let’s get married in that little white church we saw in Gatlinburg,” she asked while looking at it once again and snuggling in even closer. This was as happy as I’ve ever seen her.
“Do you think your kids will accept me?”
“Are you kidding? They adore you. And they see how happy you make me.”
She smiled and looked into my eyes. “As soon at I get home, I’m going to book a flight back. This time you will get to see your surprise. Now let’s go to bed,” she said while taking my hand.”
It wasn’t until the sun was rising that we finally went to sleep. We left Charleston around lunch and the first thing she did when getting in the car was call her sister and family.
After arriving home, it was back in the car to see family and over to Steve and Misty’s. Time flew by and before we knew it we were at the airport saying our byes - and she was still looking at her ring. I had never seen her that happy.
The last time I talked to her was FaceTime on July 1, 2021. “I got our tickets. We will be there in two weeks.”
“We?”
“You’ll see,” she said with a grin.
Her accident was the next day.
submitted by My_Punk to lostlove [link] [comments]
Since there are those here that have a burr in their ass and want to play games - they somehow think it’s better for whatever reason, but will post this one anyway. Oh and the name My Punk? That’s what I called her.
Goodnight
Thank you for following along mine and Ashley’s journey. As I’ve often said, this is as much for me and my healing as it is to give to little A. Sorry for the length. While this won’t be the last I write, I won’t go any further than this because this marks the last time I saw her.
June 2021
Since Ashley’s surprise visit in 2019, we have visited each other six more times. This would turn out to be the eighth, and final, visit.
While she was back in Washington, we would FaceTime every night without fail. If I close my eyes, I can picture this last FaceTime before her trip back here. Her hair was disheveled and she was laying on her stomach while we were talking. Some nights the camera is facing straight at her face, but not that night. She just had to position it where the curve of her butt was visible and those little boy shorts she loved to wear were on full display. She knew what she was doing and it worked - a cold shower was definitely needed. But I digress.
“Are you going to meet me at the airport tomorrow,” she asked while twirling her hair and biting her lip. I loved how she bit her lip - not all of the lower lip but just the corner. It was something she did when she had something on her mind.
For some reason that always drove me crazy. There was just something incredibly sexy about that and she knew I loved it. “I might make it,” in a silly attempt to tease her.
With a half grin, she shakes her head feigning annoyance. Just something about the way she did that. She sat up in full view and said, “remember this?”
“You kept it?” It was my old UGA shirt she had cut, making it a half shirt, and wore it all those years ago on Sundays when I’d make pancakes and she’d clean. It looked as good on her at it did back then.
The clock seemed to stop. Maybe even go in reverse. It was a Saturday and I was to pick her up at noon. This was going to be the trip I was going to ask her to marry me. I had made reservations for us to stay at this little B&B in Charleston. Holding the ring box I tried to think of a romantic place - Fort Sumter overlooking the water? The Angel Oak? The more I thought, the more my nerves were getting to me. “Maybe I’ll just wing it,” thinking to myself. That turned, incidentally, out to be the best idea.
Since I have joint custody of my kids from the previous marriage, I still had them when it was time to pack her up. In hindsight, it may have been wiser to drop them off a day earlier given the confrontation between their mom and Ashley, but I felt they should meet her. I had talked to Ashley about it and she was very excited to meet them. It wasn’t like they had never seen her since we FaceTimed nightly. Somehow they would find their way over to talk - however we always tried to talk after they went to bed.
As we waited at the airport, the kids were asking a million questions as all kids do. At least they were fascinated with something else, having never been to an airport before. Her plane was on time and it wasn’t long before she came down. She was wearing this little sun dress - instant flashback to the party. Absolutely beautiful.
Every time I met her at the airport, she’d literally run and jump on me, showering me with hugs and kisses. What can I say? She loved me. But not this time, it was all about the kids. Out of her carryon she pulled a small gift for each - something each liked based on their conversations. They took to her instantly, which warmed my heart beyond measure.
My turn was next. While she didn’t do her usual out of respect for the kids, she did hug and kiss me. She loved me.
They had a million questions for her and she was very patient with them. As we drove home, they did nothing but talk to her. It did not go unnoticed that she slipped her hand into mine as she’s done since our first date. They knew.
As I was making dinner, she got down on the floor with them and played games - things their mom rarely did with them. The motherly, nurturing side of her was coming out and it was a joy to watch.
I know what you are thinking, she stayed in a spare bedroom above the garage. As I was putting them to bed, they both told me how much they liked her.
The following day found all of us driving down to Jacksonville to visit the zoo. All in all, it was one of the best days we’ve had, according to the kids at least. The day ended all to quickly. It was obvious that it would have been a perfect fit.
Apparently my daughter had decided to send her mom a picture of her and Ashley. I knew something was up during the text exchange about dropping them off at our usual time. “Be nice” didn’t cut it. There was very bad blood between those two, and that day proved it. However, that confrontation will be another story.
“Your ex sure knows how to ruin a great day.” If words could be seen, they would have been red. Angry isn’t the word for it.
Quick thinking saved the ride. “Don’t unpack,” I told her. “I got us a B&B for a few days.”
She looked over at me and smiled. “Oh really? Do tell.”
“Nope” was all I could muster while trying to avoid the dagger eyes. I was milking it for all it was worth. While she loved surprises, the suspense was killing her. It was fun to see her squirm as she was like a kid waiting to open presents.
“Well, even if you won’t tell me you know how to put a smile on my face.” With that she leaned over and kissed me.
It had been a long, hot day at the zoo and we both were ready to get cleaned up. “I’m going to take a shower,” she said as she walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Now I may not be the smartest man, but I wasn’t about to turn down an invitation. Watching her undress was a thing of beauty.
“You’re staring again,” she said as she stood, biting her lip. Her form was exquisite - still a work of art. Stepping into the shower, she turns, “you coming?”
Invitation number two. I had forgotten that she liked her showers at near-sun temperatures as I jumped in a little too fast. “Damn, woman” I screeched as I tried to become one with the wall.
“I had forgotten how much of a wimp you are,” she said while turning down the temp to that of a flame thrower. “Now come here.”
Invitation number three. With that, she put her arms around my neck, “I’ve missed you.” It must have been a combination of missing me plus a little residual anger from the confrontation with the ex, but that was one interesting shower.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going,” she asked while laying on my chest later that night.
“Are you going to tell me that secret you keep mentioning?” See how that goes? Did it work? Not with her, proving that once again I know nothing about women.
“Soon. Very soon.” She was absentmindedly drawing circles on my cheek when she turned and looked me in the eye and half-whispered, “on our next trip, I promise.” If she could have snuggled in any closer, she would have. I went to sleep with her head on my shoulder and leg across me like I was a big pillow.
The next morning found her waking me up at 0500. If anyone got excited about trips, it was this one. She had the car loaded and coffee made. What can I say? I love that woman.
Convincing her to wait a while was a herculean effort. I was bombarded with more questions than my kids are able to come up with. Eventuality we went to this cozy little breakfast place on the water that we used to frequent those years ago. The perfect place for a quiet, romantic little breakfast.
There is something soothing about sitting outside on a deck listening to the water lapping against the pilings as we ate. She was very talkative and animated that morning, as she always was when she was excited. I don’t remember the conversation but I do remember thinking that I’ve never loved someone as much as her.
By the time we passed through Beaufort she knew exactly where we were going, as there are only two ways into Charleston from where we lived. She loved Charleston. “Is it that little place on the park by the water.” She asked.
“Yes. Yes it is.” We had seen it many times as we toured the area on earlier trips. Her eyes grew wide with excitement. She was happy and that was all that mattered.
We were staying in a quaint little carriage house tucked behind a 19th century house and facing the water. Beautiful isn’t the word for it. Amazing. The house was situated perfectly so one could sit on either story porch and enjoy the harbor breezes. The setting couldn’t have been any better.
After checking in and getting situated we explored the area by foot since it’s all centrally located. Battery park, rainbow row, old City Market - all of it. What a day that was. The spring in her step told me all I needed know. She was beyond happy.
She wanted to go to an upscale restaurant for dinner that night. She had packed this little black dress that fit her just perfectly. Combine that with heels and you have perfection. She looked like something you’d see in a magazine. I know, way out of my league.
She was drawing looks wherever we went that night, and rightly so. With her heels pushing her over six foot tall, she commanded attention. She certainly had mine.
After dinner we found this little dessert cafe/bar and rounded out the evening with a walk around the downtown area. The night was seasonably warm but not overly, with the breeze coming off the water. The stars were out and It was a cloudless night. Perfect.
We came across this ghost tour that had I openings. Fortunately, this one was a two person carriage tour. I know what you’re thinking, a ghost tour can’t be fun. Actually, our tour guide was great - but learning things not commonly taught is what makes it so good. Besides, what is better than a horse-drawn carriage ride just for two?
It was almost midnight before we got back. We were exhausted after a full day. Fortunately the shower was big enough for the both of us. This time I got to control the temperature. She loved having her head washed and as I stood there watching the water run down her back the only thought that came to my mind was that tomorrow was the day - the day that I was going to ask her to be my wife.
We went to bed the same way we always do - with her head on my shoulder and one leg across me, like I was a big pillow. She fell asleep almost instantly. Not me, I was staring at the ceiling and listening to the gentle breeze blowing through the live oak trees.
We slept in the following morning and after the complimentary breakfast, we headed out for the day - with the ring in my pocket in case the opportunity presented itself. She, being a history buff like me, wanted to visit historical sites. We visited the USS Yorktown because she’s never been on an aircraft carrier and also to see what I did with the Navy. While the Yorktown was much older than the ship I was on, it was still the same basic concept. We went from one end of the ship to the other. She had a million questions and loved it as much as I did.
We hopped on the ferry out to Ft Sumter. One would think that an old fort would be any sort of romantic place, but this one has its charms. We were standing on the parapet and overlooking the ocean when she moved in front of me and took my arms so she could wrap them around her waist. She leaned back against my chest while holding them at the same time. It’s like she was trying to make us one. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” she said.
Thinking this was the opportunity, I started to reach into my pocket when I chickened out.
“What are you doing?”
I had to think quick so all I could manage was “touching your butt.” Yeah, that didn’t work so well.
She turned and looked at me with that half-grin while shaking her head, “that’s not my butt, you dork.” One of the things I loved about her was her sense of humor. She took my arms and wrapped them even tighter. There was something about her, especially wrapped up like that, that just soothed my soul. If there is such a thing as a soulmate, she was it.
We had a busy day of playing tourist. Even though we’ve been to Charleston a few times, this one was special. This one was us as we were those years ago and should have been all along. I loved the way she would squeeze my hand just a little tighter when she saw things she liked.
It was after dark by the time we got back to the room. Grabbing a blanket I had packed, I asked to grab a bottle of wine and the package in the fridge, which were chocolate covered strawberries - her favorite, by the way.
“Your are just full of surprises, aren’t you,” she asked while wrapping her arms around her neck. If she only knew. It was now or never.
We walked over to the park and found a place near the water to put our blanket and lay our stuff out. There was just enough light from the streetlights in the park so that we could see, but not enough to spoil the stars and overall setting. The gentle breeze coming off the water was blowing through the massive old oaks. The sound of the rustling leaves was very soothing and helped set the stage perfectly.
Add the wine was chilling, we were laying on the blanket with her on my arm. The stars were beautiful and it wasn’t long before a shooting star appeared.
“Those are supposed to be good luck,” she said as one flew over. Here I was, under a beautiful sky with the girl of my dreams. How could it get any better?
Now or never. I had to move her head as I got up. “What are you doing,” she asked as she propped herself up on one elbow.
With my heart racing wildly, I got on one knee and pretended to get the strawberries. Pulling the ring out, I said “Ashley, will you marry me?”
There was just enough light to see her face. Still on one elbow, “wha” was all she managed to get out.
“I should have done this a long time ago. Ashley, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Her eyes started to well up. Of all the years I’ve known her, I’ve only seen her cry maybe a handful of times. By this time we were standing. She was crying full on - “you better not be joking with me.”
“I’m not, Ashley. You are my person and I want to grow old with you,” I said at I slipped the thing on her finger.
She looked at me then the ring and finally back at me. “Of course I will,” she said as she jumped on me wrapping her legs around me. We must have been sight for any passerby, with me completely holding her and crying with joy.
I don’t know how long we stood like that, but eventually we made it back to the blanket. After finishing the wine and strawberries we laid there a while just talking. She must have looked at the ring a hundred times if she did once. She was happy. I was ecstatic.
“Let’s get married in that little white church we saw in Gatlinburg,” she asked while looking at it once again and snuggling in even closer. This was as happy as I’ve ever seen her.
“Do you think your kids will accept me?”
“Are you kidding? They adore you. And they see how happy you make me.”
She smiled and looked into my eyes. “As soon at I get home, I’m going to book a flight back. This time you will get to see your surprise. Now let’s go to bed,” she said while taking my hand.”
It wasn’t until the sun was rising that we finally went to sleep. We left Charleston around lunch and the first thing she did when getting in the car was call her sister and family.
After arriving home, it was back in the car to see family and over to Steve and Misty’s. Time flew by and before we knew it we were at the airport saying our byes - and she was still looking at her ring. I had never seen her that happy.
The last time I talked to her was FaceTime on July 1, 2021. “I got our tickets. We will be there in two weeks.”
“We?”
“You’ll see,” she said with a grin.
Her accident was the next day.
2024.06.05 04:09 jjjacs I'm pregnant and I don't want to be. I'm so stressed out with life that I'm at the end of my rope.
Please don't judge me (29F) or my husband (29M) too harshly.
I'm in Australia.
There is a tl;dr at the end. I'm sorry this is so long.
I found out that I was pregnant on 23 April, after I saw my doctor, who I was actually seeing to get a referral to have my tubes removed. I found out after this appointment coincidently, as she mentioned that I should double-check I'm not pregnant before getting my tubes removed.
I took a test straight after leaving her office, and the lines showed up... I drank more water and took two more, and it was the same. I told my husband that evening that I needed an abortion. I was on the pill and took this religiously... I've been on the pill for almost 10 years.
I booked in with an abortion clinic and got an appointment with a doctor the next day. I received an ultrasound referral.
On 26 April, I had the scan. Confirmed that I was just under 4 weeks. Doctor told me I couldn't get abortion pills until 6 weeks (as the doctor needed to be certain the pregnancy wasn't eptopic).
I went and saw family for two weeks during weeks 4 & 5 (4-13 May), as my brother was close to passing away.
At around 6 weeks (14 May), I had a bad case of COVID. I had booked in for an ultrasound for the 16th of May.
I called the ultrasound clinic on 16 May to ask if they were comfortable with me coming in with COVID. The ultrasound clinic immediately cancelled my appointment. They said they wouldn't have me in until 21 May, and I couldn't book any earlier.
On 17 May in the early morning, my older brother who had been pallative for two months with cancer passed away.
On 17 May in the afternoon, I tested negative for COVID. I called the ultrasound clinic, they still wouldn't book me in for an earlier date. My husband came home that evening. He knew my brother passed that morning. He came home frustrated and etc from work. I forgot to wash some of his clothes, and he was frustrated with me on top of this.
He came home, explained his frustration with me until I was tearing up (which honestly only took five or so minutes... I'm usually okay and can take this kind of thing on the chin, but that day I couldn't). Since I was teary and apologising for not doing the laundry, he noted that he couldn't deal with me right then and told me he was "going for a drive, be back whenever" and then he went to the garage.
I'm not proud to say that I had a little cry and then got immediately frustrated and matched his attitude. I followed him out to the garage... then firmly asked him if he'd like me to leave the house because I'm just too hard to deal with.
He changed his tone and said that he doesn't want me to leave and that he loves me being home... he just doesn't know why I'm "so upset lately", which frustrates him. I broke down while saying that my brother just died, I'm recovering from COVID, I'm pregnant, and now I messed up with the clothes washing and so I feel terrible... so of course I'm upset.
He gave me a hug and calmed me down.
On 21 May, I had a scan late in the afternoon. It was confirmed I was 7w + 2d.
I still wanted the pills. I needed the ultrasound clinic to send the report to my doctor so I could get a prescription for the pills. This ultrasound clinic confirmed they sent the report on 22 May to my doctor, and to wait for my doctor to call. I was grieving my brother and honestly trusted the ultrasound place plus my doctor to connect and to do the right thing. So I allowed a day to hear back from my doctor.
On 24 May, I called around the abortion clinic via their general line, as I hadn't heard anything. I kept calling the general line and trying all the different extensions. I spent ages on hold, wasn't getting called back when I left a message or an email between attempts, and it was just an overall pain in the ass trying to juggle this plus work.
I ended up getting through to their emergency line (which is meant to be for people who have had an abortion) and talking to a nurse who could see my file and confirm if the ultrasound report was there. It wasn't. The nurse said she'd organise the report to be sent through by the ultrasound clinic and get onto my doctor for me.
On 27 May, I was finally able to get an appointment with my doctor. She said that they don't prescribe the abortion pill for after 9 weeks, and didn't feel comfortable prescribing me as I was so close to the threshold, as I was just over 8 weeks.
I also needed to fly out for my brother's funeral at the end of the 8th week / start of the 9th week... and needed a few days on either side with family. The doctor basically told me to choose a medical abortion or my brother's funeral.
She told me that I could maybe book in to their abortion clinic for a surgical in 2-3 weeks time. Spots were very limited and she said she also wouldn't book me in until I spoke with my husband.
I could feel time ticking away. If I followed her advice, I'd be booking in with her abortion clinic near 11 weeks, assuming all went well. Just under the next threshold... and I didn't feel comfortable with this given the delay I already faced. If I faced another delay, this would severely impact my access to abortion, more than the current delays already have.
Even though it was only a 5 day delay between the ultrasound clinic and my doctor, it was a seriously critical time for me. In hindsight, I only had these 5 days available to get a prescription, order the pills with a pharmacy and then take the pills... And this window was missed. I wouldn't of been able to have an appointment with my doctor or be contacted by the ultrasound clinic over the weekend... so there was only 3 days all this could've been actioned. If I hadn't have contracted COVID, I might have been okay... but it's yet another thing outside my control and I wanted to do the right thing and notify the ultrasound clinic.
The joys of healthcare for people with a uterus... even though I'm in Australia. It really should not be this hard.
I called a different clinic after I hung up with my doctor. They said they don't do pills considering how far along I was. They graciously listened to my stressed out rambling and booked me in for a surgical for 6th of June. I was so overjoyed that I cried and thanked them. They had no fuss or issues. To say that I was over the moon and relieved would be an understatement. It felt like I was walking on air - they took the weight of the world off my shoulders.
I called my husband on my way home from work and told him that I was finally getting this sorted out, and I explained how relieved I was.
He has always told me that it's my decision and he'll be supportive as this is what he wants too... But his response was not one that matched mine when I let him know that we don't have to worry anymore. He sounded off and angry.
Let me preface by saying that he had been wonderful and supportive before I told him about the surgical appointment. He always checked in on how I was and was highly accommodating. Even if I was upset and he wasn't sure what to say, he'd just be a shoulder to cry on.
I came home and he was withdrawn and snappy. He then explicitly told me that he does not want to discuss it any more... even though I've discussed it very minimally because I haven't liked admitting that I'm pregnant or facing symptoms... or talking about it in general.
I spoke with him, and he explained that he felt angry and frustrated that I hadn't gotten an abortion yet.
He said he felt like I delayed the process on purpose, that I didn't try hard enough to get an abortion, and if it were him, he would have had this sorted out by now. He noted he feels I don't want to get an abortion because of me not doing a good enough job of keeping on top of doctors (referring to 22-26 May, which included a weekend where my doctor's office and ultrasound clinic wasn't open).
Due to this comment, I feel like I've had to justify the timeline and what has happened.
He also claimed he is sterile, so he "doesn't know" how I got pregnant.
I thanked him for his views and for telling me how he felt, then re-explained everything I've been through, with rough dates. I approached this calmly as I wasn't sure where this other comment was coming from.
It broke my heart because this indirectly tells me that he doesn't trust me as his wife, and it made me feel angry that he'd think so lowly of me. It made me feel furious that he'd note that he'd do better than me in trying to access an abortion... being a person without a uterus and as person who would never be accessing an abortion for themselves. But I chose to be calm.
I did admit my head wasn't fully firing all pistons during the window, I put in effort but I guess it wasn't enough. I spent a lot of time wishing for the world to stop spinning due to recovering from COVID, my brother passing, and the stress of trying to get an abortion. My morning sickness has been next level also.
My husband told me that the flights were another "excuse" to not have a medical abortion, and flying was irrelevant to whether or not I could take the pills... I disagreed because I'd be putting my health at serious risk by not being close to a hospital.
I was also also not going to miss out on my brother's funeral. Plus, who wants to be going through a medical abortion in addition to taking four flights (so 16 hours worth of flying... plus four hours of driving) and handling their brother's funeral. It'd be too much stress on my body in such a short amount of time.
It will be much less stress on my body getting a surgical done.
I told him that his sterile comment wasn't accurate because there is solid proof that he isn't sterile with me being pregnant currently. That he needs to see someone who actually specialises in fertility and for himself to get checked out if he had concerns, because the accusation he could allude to isn't okay or fair.
He calmed down after a day or so. He asked if I'd like him to come to my brother's funeral. I told him that I'd love to have the support. I booked and paid for his flights, and reorganised mine.
We were okay from the 28th-31st of May.
Fast forward to the worst flights and travel on the 31st... I felt like everything went wrong and it was somehow my fault.
We got to our destination and we discussed him not going to the funeral as he was tired and miserable, plus we agreed it'd be best if he spent more time with his side of the family. He didn't know my brother well, either. My husband said he had a wonderful time with his family.
So I went to my brother's funeral with my family, without my husband. I cried the whole way through the church service. I gathered myself and carried my brother's casket to the hearse with my sisters and mum, but then all I could do was sob. I felt like a mess. I then felt a hand on my back and a head on my shoulder - it was my best friend.
A few of my friends had came along (they said they were going to come, but I didn't see them before the funeral), and I honestly don't think I could have made it through the day as well as I did without them. It was wonderful to know that I was still worth caring about.
My brother's funeral was on 3rd of June. We're back home now.
My husband was himself when we were around others during our trip, which felt like a relief and I thought things were okay between us... but as soon as we were alone, he wasn't himself. He didn't ask me about the funeral, provide any support or ask how I was. Didn't touch me or look at me, or offer a hug. He just snapped and growled at me or ignored me when I tried to talk with him. Or just gave me a frustrated stare or sigh.
I know he's feeling a lot of emotions right now. It's a really tough and sensitive time for both of us, and I really don't know how to address or help my husband with how he's feeling.
I don't think I have the emotional capacity or energy to manage both him and myself. I've just been focussing on myself, and while this does feel selfish, I feel that I can't help him if I don't help myself. I still feel bad about it.
My workplace is more than accommodating and supportive with my brother passing. I'll be getting into counselling for myself for everything as soon as I can... and I'll reach out to my friends and family once the abortion is done, because I know I'll need other supports too for this. I'm also considering a tattoo to commemorate my brother. I'll book into somewhere I can get pampered after I've recovered, because I feel I just need to get away and relax.
My husband has always said that it's my things that I'm going through, and he'll support me through... but over the past week or so, my stress level has escalated as I don't feel supported. I feel unwanted and rejected for being a human going through a rough time. Him being upset with me is something I never prepared for... nor do I feel I deserve it... but here we are, and I have to be able to navigate it.
I would understand the treatment if I did something seriously wrong... the only thing I did wrong was not trying harder with my doctor and ultrasound clinic. My head just wasn't in the right space. I forgive myself because I found an alternate solution with the same outcome that ultimately works better for me, but it still doesn't feel "good enough".
I'm getting the abortion on 6 June.
My husband previously said weeks ago that he'd be there at the abortion appointment for whatever I need... but I'm honestly considering just doing the appointment by myself and seeking support from the people at the clinic... as I feel that supporting myself and then seeking additional support afterward might be more realistic than expecting support from him on the day.
But... I also feel that he'd see change of plans as weird and my rejection of his "support" suggests that I'm hiding something. There is no "win" here for me.
I don't know anymore. I'm exhausted. I don't have the physical or mental energy. All my cards are on the table here, I can't hide any of this stress anymore.
I've been coping fine (keeping up with housework, cooking, cleaning, laundry, walk dogs, working, paying bills...), all I need is a husband who tells me he loves me, gives me a hug every few days and is okay with me talking about what I'm feeling every other day... I feel like this isn't a huge or unreasonable request.
I've tried to be chipper on the weekends because there is nothing I can do to progress anything on those days. I've shared plenty of jokes and laughs and I haven't been notably miserable or "difficult" the entire time... just worried that time is getting away with a general annoyance of mornig sickness.
I keep telling myself that I've done all I can regarding the circumstances. Much of this was out of my control, and I did what I could. That all this will be over soon, and everything will be okay.
My current focus is to get to and from my appointment tomorrow as safely and as painlessly as possible.
Tl;dr: I'm getting an abortion tomorrow and my brother's funeral was two days ago. My previously supportive husband isn't being supportive anymore and this is causing me serious stress. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm just looking for any relevant support at this stage.
submitted by jjjacs to abortion [link] [comments]
I'm in Australia.
There is a tl;dr at the end. I'm sorry this is so long.
I found out that I was pregnant on 23 April, after I saw my doctor, who I was actually seeing to get a referral to have my tubes removed. I found out after this appointment coincidently, as she mentioned that I should double-check I'm not pregnant before getting my tubes removed.
I took a test straight after leaving her office, and the lines showed up... I drank more water and took two more, and it was the same. I told my husband that evening that I needed an abortion. I was on the pill and took this religiously... I've been on the pill for almost 10 years.
I booked in with an abortion clinic and got an appointment with a doctor the next day. I received an ultrasound referral.
On 26 April, I had the scan. Confirmed that I was just under 4 weeks. Doctor told me I couldn't get abortion pills until 6 weeks (as the doctor needed to be certain the pregnancy wasn't eptopic).
I went and saw family for two weeks during weeks 4 & 5 (4-13 May), as my brother was close to passing away.
At around 6 weeks (14 May), I had a bad case of COVID. I had booked in for an ultrasound for the 16th of May.
I called the ultrasound clinic on 16 May to ask if they were comfortable with me coming in with COVID. The ultrasound clinic immediately cancelled my appointment. They said they wouldn't have me in until 21 May, and I couldn't book any earlier.
On 17 May in the early morning, my older brother who had been pallative for two months with cancer passed away.
On 17 May in the afternoon, I tested negative for COVID. I called the ultrasound clinic, they still wouldn't book me in for an earlier date. My husband came home that evening. He knew my brother passed that morning. He came home frustrated and etc from work. I forgot to wash some of his clothes, and he was frustrated with me on top of this.
He came home, explained his frustration with me until I was tearing up (which honestly only took five or so minutes... I'm usually okay and can take this kind of thing on the chin, but that day I couldn't). Since I was teary and apologising for not doing the laundry, he noted that he couldn't deal with me right then and told me he was "going for a drive, be back whenever" and then he went to the garage.
I'm not proud to say that I had a little cry and then got immediately frustrated and matched his attitude. I followed him out to the garage... then firmly asked him if he'd like me to leave the house because I'm just too hard to deal with.
He changed his tone and said that he doesn't want me to leave and that he loves me being home... he just doesn't know why I'm "so upset lately", which frustrates him. I broke down while saying that my brother just died, I'm recovering from COVID, I'm pregnant, and now I messed up with the clothes washing and so I feel terrible... so of course I'm upset.
He gave me a hug and calmed me down.
On 21 May, I had a scan late in the afternoon. It was confirmed I was 7w + 2d.
I still wanted the pills. I needed the ultrasound clinic to send the report to my doctor so I could get a prescription for the pills. This ultrasound clinic confirmed they sent the report on 22 May to my doctor, and to wait for my doctor to call. I was grieving my brother and honestly trusted the ultrasound place plus my doctor to connect and to do the right thing. So I allowed a day to hear back from my doctor.
On 24 May, I called around the abortion clinic via their general line, as I hadn't heard anything. I kept calling the general line and trying all the different extensions. I spent ages on hold, wasn't getting called back when I left a message or an email between attempts, and it was just an overall pain in the ass trying to juggle this plus work.
I ended up getting through to their emergency line (which is meant to be for people who have had an abortion) and talking to a nurse who could see my file and confirm if the ultrasound report was there. It wasn't. The nurse said she'd organise the report to be sent through by the ultrasound clinic and get onto my doctor for me.
On 27 May, I was finally able to get an appointment with my doctor. She said that they don't prescribe the abortion pill for after 9 weeks, and didn't feel comfortable prescribing me as I was so close to the threshold, as I was just over 8 weeks.
I also needed to fly out for my brother's funeral at the end of the 8th week / start of the 9th week... and needed a few days on either side with family. The doctor basically told me to choose a medical abortion or my brother's funeral.
She told me that I could maybe book in to their abortion clinic for a surgical in 2-3 weeks time. Spots were very limited and she said she also wouldn't book me in until I spoke with my husband.
I could feel time ticking away. If I followed her advice, I'd be booking in with her abortion clinic near 11 weeks, assuming all went well. Just under the next threshold... and I didn't feel comfortable with this given the delay I already faced. If I faced another delay, this would severely impact my access to abortion, more than the current delays already have.
Even though it was only a 5 day delay between the ultrasound clinic and my doctor, it was a seriously critical time for me. In hindsight, I only had these 5 days available to get a prescription, order the pills with a pharmacy and then take the pills... And this window was missed. I wouldn't of been able to have an appointment with my doctor or be contacted by the ultrasound clinic over the weekend... so there was only 3 days all this could've been actioned. If I hadn't have contracted COVID, I might have been okay... but it's yet another thing outside my control and I wanted to do the right thing and notify the ultrasound clinic.
The joys of healthcare for people with a uterus... even though I'm in Australia. It really should not be this hard.
I called a different clinic after I hung up with my doctor. They said they don't do pills considering how far along I was. They graciously listened to my stressed out rambling and booked me in for a surgical for 6th of June. I was so overjoyed that I cried and thanked them. They had no fuss or issues. To say that I was over the moon and relieved would be an understatement. It felt like I was walking on air - they took the weight of the world off my shoulders.
I called my husband on my way home from work and told him that I was finally getting this sorted out, and I explained how relieved I was.
He has always told me that it's my decision and he'll be supportive as this is what he wants too... But his response was not one that matched mine when I let him know that we don't have to worry anymore. He sounded off and angry.
Let me preface by saying that he had been wonderful and supportive before I told him about the surgical appointment. He always checked in on how I was and was highly accommodating. Even if I was upset and he wasn't sure what to say, he'd just be a shoulder to cry on.
I came home and he was withdrawn and snappy. He then explicitly told me that he does not want to discuss it any more... even though I've discussed it very minimally because I haven't liked admitting that I'm pregnant or facing symptoms... or talking about it in general.
I spoke with him, and he explained that he felt angry and frustrated that I hadn't gotten an abortion yet.
He said he felt like I delayed the process on purpose, that I didn't try hard enough to get an abortion, and if it were him, he would have had this sorted out by now. He noted he feels I don't want to get an abortion because of me not doing a good enough job of keeping on top of doctors (referring to 22-26 May, which included a weekend where my doctor's office and ultrasound clinic wasn't open).
Due to this comment, I feel like I've had to justify the timeline and what has happened.
He also claimed he is sterile, so he "doesn't know" how I got pregnant.
I thanked him for his views and for telling me how he felt, then re-explained everything I've been through, with rough dates. I approached this calmly as I wasn't sure where this other comment was coming from.
It broke my heart because this indirectly tells me that he doesn't trust me as his wife, and it made me feel angry that he'd think so lowly of me. It made me feel furious that he'd note that he'd do better than me in trying to access an abortion... being a person without a uterus and as person who would never be accessing an abortion for themselves. But I chose to be calm.
I did admit my head wasn't fully firing all pistons during the window, I put in effort but I guess it wasn't enough. I spent a lot of time wishing for the world to stop spinning due to recovering from COVID, my brother passing, and the stress of trying to get an abortion. My morning sickness has been next level also.
My husband told me that the flights were another "excuse" to not have a medical abortion, and flying was irrelevant to whether or not I could take the pills... I disagreed because I'd be putting my health at serious risk by not being close to a hospital.
I was also also not going to miss out on my brother's funeral. Plus, who wants to be going through a medical abortion in addition to taking four flights (so 16 hours worth of flying... plus four hours of driving) and handling their brother's funeral. It'd be too much stress on my body in such a short amount of time.
It will be much less stress on my body getting a surgical done.
I told him that his sterile comment wasn't accurate because there is solid proof that he isn't sterile with me being pregnant currently. That he needs to see someone who actually specialises in fertility and for himself to get checked out if he had concerns, because the accusation he could allude to isn't okay or fair.
He calmed down after a day or so. He asked if I'd like him to come to my brother's funeral. I told him that I'd love to have the support. I booked and paid for his flights, and reorganised mine.
We were okay from the 28th-31st of May.
Fast forward to the worst flights and travel on the 31st... I felt like everything went wrong and it was somehow my fault.
We got to our destination and we discussed him not going to the funeral as he was tired and miserable, plus we agreed it'd be best if he spent more time with his side of the family. He didn't know my brother well, either. My husband said he had a wonderful time with his family.
So I went to my brother's funeral with my family, without my husband. I cried the whole way through the church service. I gathered myself and carried my brother's casket to the hearse with my sisters and mum, but then all I could do was sob. I felt like a mess. I then felt a hand on my back and a head on my shoulder - it was my best friend.
A few of my friends had came along (they said they were going to come, but I didn't see them before the funeral), and I honestly don't think I could have made it through the day as well as I did without them. It was wonderful to know that I was still worth caring about.
My brother's funeral was on 3rd of June. We're back home now.
My husband was himself when we were around others during our trip, which felt like a relief and I thought things were okay between us... but as soon as we were alone, he wasn't himself. He didn't ask me about the funeral, provide any support or ask how I was. Didn't touch me or look at me, or offer a hug. He just snapped and growled at me or ignored me when I tried to talk with him. Or just gave me a frustrated stare or sigh.
I know he's feeling a lot of emotions right now. It's a really tough and sensitive time for both of us, and I really don't know how to address or help my husband with how he's feeling.
I don't think I have the emotional capacity or energy to manage both him and myself. I've just been focussing on myself, and while this does feel selfish, I feel that I can't help him if I don't help myself. I still feel bad about it.
My workplace is more than accommodating and supportive with my brother passing. I'll be getting into counselling for myself for everything as soon as I can... and I'll reach out to my friends and family once the abortion is done, because I know I'll need other supports too for this. I'm also considering a tattoo to commemorate my brother. I'll book into somewhere I can get pampered after I've recovered, because I feel I just need to get away and relax.
My husband has always said that it's my things that I'm going through, and he'll support me through... but over the past week or so, my stress level has escalated as I don't feel supported. I feel unwanted and rejected for being a human going through a rough time. Him being upset with me is something I never prepared for... nor do I feel I deserve it... but here we are, and I have to be able to navigate it.
I would understand the treatment if I did something seriously wrong... the only thing I did wrong was not trying harder with my doctor and ultrasound clinic. My head just wasn't in the right space. I forgive myself because I found an alternate solution with the same outcome that ultimately works better for me, but it still doesn't feel "good enough".
I'm getting the abortion on 6 June.
My husband previously said weeks ago that he'd be there at the abortion appointment for whatever I need... but I'm honestly considering just doing the appointment by myself and seeking support from the people at the clinic... as I feel that supporting myself and then seeking additional support afterward might be more realistic than expecting support from him on the day.
But... I also feel that he'd see change of plans as weird and my rejection of his "support" suggests that I'm hiding something. There is no "win" here for me.
I don't know anymore. I'm exhausted. I don't have the physical or mental energy. All my cards are on the table here, I can't hide any of this stress anymore.
I've been coping fine (keeping up with housework, cooking, cleaning, laundry, walk dogs, working, paying bills...), all I need is a husband who tells me he loves me, gives me a hug every few days and is okay with me talking about what I'm feeling every other day... I feel like this isn't a huge or unreasonable request.
I've tried to be chipper on the weekends because there is nothing I can do to progress anything on those days. I've shared plenty of jokes and laughs and I haven't been notably miserable or "difficult" the entire time... just worried that time is getting away with a general annoyance of mornig sickness.
I keep telling myself that I've done all I can regarding the circumstances. Much of this was out of my control, and I did what I could. That all this will be over soon, and everything will be okay.
My current focus is to get to and from my appointment tomorrow as safely and as painlessly as possible.
Tl;dr: I'm getting an abortion tomorrow and my brother's funeral was two days ago. My previously supportive husband isn't being supportive anymore and this is causing me serious stress. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm just looking for any relevant support at this stage.
2024.06.05 04:05 Weak-Stretch-9552 Am I not worth chasing?
I think I've officially hit the anger stage of grief.
Isn't it infuriating? How we give our all to someone, then they leave, and not even put up a fight for us? To make us stay? To make us work?
Isn't it such a slap in the face, that every single day of no contact, they CHOOSE to wake up and go to bed... NOT CONTACTING YOU?
Am I not worth chasing? Was I THAT easily replaceable? Was I that forgettable?
4 years of us. I can't believe you can stand almost 5 weeks now of NC, not having me in your life. You chose to be on dating apps, than the emotional connection we had? You chose that, over us?
submitted by Weak-Stretch-9552 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
Isn't it infuriating? How we give our all to someone, then they leave, and not even put up a fight for us? To make us stay? To make us work?
Isn't it such a slap in the face, that every single day of no contact, they CHOOSE to wake up and go to bed... NOT CONTACTING YOU?
Am I not worth chasing? Was I THAT easily replaceable? Was I that forgettable?
4 years of us. I can't believe you can stand almost 5 weeks now of NC, not having me in your life. You chose to be on dating apps, than the emotional connection we had? You chose that, over us?
2024.06.05 04:04 Weak-Stretch-9552 Am I not worth chasing?
I think I've officially hit the anger stage of grief.
Isn't it infuriating? How we give our all to someone, then they leave, and not even put up a fight for us? To make us stay? To make us work?
Isn't it such a slap in the face, that every single day of no contact, they CHOOSE to wake up and go to bed... NOT CONTACTING YOU?
Am I not worth chasing? Was I THAT easily replaceable? Was I that forgettable?
4 years of us. I can't believe you can stand almost 5 weeks now of NC, not having me in your life. You chose to be on dating apps, than the emotional connection we had? You chose that, over us?
submitted by Weak-Stretch-9552 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Isn't it infuriating? How we give our all to someone, then they leave, and not even put up a fight for us? To make us stay? To make us work?
Isn't it such a slap in the face, that every single day of no contact, they CHOOSE to wake up and go to bed... NOT CONTACTING YOU?
Am I not worth chasing? Was I THAT easily replaceable? Was I that forgettable?
4 years of us. I can't believe you can stand almost 5 weeks now of NC, not having me in your life. You chose to be on dating apps, than the emotional connection we had? You chose that, over us?
2024.06.05 04:04 jettasarebadmkay June 3rd, 2024 - /r/DanceDanceRevolution: Move your body!
/DanceDanceRevolution
20498 DDR players debating about the bar for 12 years
Dance Dance Revolution made a huge impression on my life. Starting in high school, until my early 30s, I played the game on and off, until life got in the way. Still, it shaped me in many ways, physically and musically. I’m sure many others out there feel the same way, and many of them can be found at /DanceDanceRevolution. The game’s objective is fairly straightforward: a song plays and arrows are set to rhythms in it, and the player has to match the arrow’s timing with that in the song. It has a wide range of difficulties, ranging from casual to competitive. I plateaued in the middle range; in the classic rating scheme I was most comfortable with 7s and 8s, with the occasional 9 within my ability. Still, it was about the fun. And secondarily, weight loss. You’ll find others looking to lose weight in /DanceDanceRevolution as well. There’s a new game, DDR WORLD, coming later this year, and it has many predecessors, but many of the community, including myself, think the series peaked in 2003 with Dance Dance Revolution Extreme. (Certainly the Max/Extreme era was my favorite, and newer games haven’t filled the nostalgia trip for me the same way.) The games have all kinds of music spanning genres and BPMs, both original compositions and licensed from other sources, including some famous artists. While many people are most familiar with the arcade game, there are also home versions for many systems, dating back to the first PlayStation, and many people have home setups, whether console versions or arcades. Either way, /DanceDanceRevolution has a buyer’s guide for your own home setup.
But what if you like DDR, but want to use your own songs and backgrounds, and make other customizations? Well, I’ve got something for you coming up soon.
u/jettasarebadmkay forgot to mention that it’s called Dancing Stage in Europe for some reason.
submitted by jettasarebadmkay to subredditoftheday [link] [comments]
20498 DDR players debating about the bar for 12 years
Dance Dance Revolution made a huge impression on my life. Starting in high school, until my early 30s, I played the game on and off, until life got in the way. Still, it shaped me in many ways, physically and musically. I’m sure many others out there feel the same way, and many of them can be found at /DanceDanceRevolution. The game’s objective is fairly straightforward: a song plays and arrows are set to rhythms in it, and the player has to match the arrow’s timing with that in the song. It has a wide range of difficulties, ranging from casual to competitive. I plateaued in the middle range; in the classic rating scheme I was most comfortable with 7s and 8s, with the occasional 9 within my ability. Still, it was about the fun. And secondarily, weight loss. You’ll find others looking to lose weight in /DanceDanceRevolution as well. There’s a new game, DDR WORLD, coming later this year, and it has many predecessors, but many of the community, including myself, think the series peaked in 2003 with Dance Dance Revolution Extreme. (Certainly the Max/Extreme era was my favorite, and newer games haven’t filled the nostalgia trip for me the same way.) The games have all kinds of music spanning genres and BPMs, both original compositions and licensed from other sources, including some famous artists. While many people are most familiar with the arcade game, there are also home versions for many systems, dating back to the first PlayStation, and many people have home setups, whether console versions or arcades. Either way, /DanceDanceRevolution has a buyer’s guide for your own home setup.
But what if you like DDR, but want to use your own songs and backgrounds, and make other customizations? Well, I’ve got something for you coming up soon.
2024.06.05 03:48 Imaginary-Yam6742 Eminem Has NOT announced a tour.
 | EMINEM IS NOT TOURING, if he was he would announce it on his official social medias. This individual on tik Tok told me he announced his tour on Facebook with a link to buy tickets. I tried to politely explain thats definitely a scam but they told me no it's legit. submitted by Imaginary-Yam6742 to Eminem [link] [comments] |
2024.06.05 03:42 khajiithasmemes2 One Shot - Gentled New World.
Memory Transcription Subject: Ishida Bakin, Gentled Human ‘Florist’. Date [Standardized Human Time]: February 12, 2200.
——
Namu Amida Butsu.
The sound of ferocious cheers surrounded me. The animals whoop and holler for their pound of flesh, the ‘empathetic’ herd eager to see a dissenter die. I could still understand the human voices, their language an unholy fusion of a multitude of languages, intermixed with Kolashian and Venlil loan words. Each word deepened the pit in my heart, my soul heavy with grief for the mankind that was. My long ears, constrained beneath the bag around my head, still twitched at each thunderous word hollered by the herd below.
“Burn him!” They chanted, “Purify Earth of all predators!”
I was forced to my knees by a kick to the leg by the exterminator holding me. As the bag was removed, I could finally see what was going on. Those zealots had finally caught me. The Gentled Herd stood in a crowd, myself and the exterminator on a makeshift stage. On the floor below sat a pile of items. Items they had pilfered from my home. History books, family albums, porcelain statues and pictures sat piled high - doused with gasoline and primed to burn.
I tried not to cry out seeing the remainder of old Earth upon a pyre. I held my breath and mentally recited my prayer once again.
Namu Amida Butsu.
I looked up at my captor. He was human, like me. It seemed that Humanity had been gentled enough that they began to hire us. I hardly recognized him, or myself for that matter, as human though. I had been a boy when the Federation arrived with the intention of extermination. Many of the other Federative Species had attempted to defend us, and we did well for a while - fighting as the Sapient Coalition. Until we didn’t, and we accepted a particularly horrible cure to save ourselves.
As a punishment for our supposed crimes, we had been stripped of anything remotely resembling a human. We now looked more akin to deer, with long muzzles and fluffy ears, panoramic eyes with rectangular pupils, hooves, and thin fur that irritatingly came in many different patterns. We had been first conquered in body, and for my entire life, I had watched us become conquered in spirit. They had forced people to move, scrambling culture and co-opting religion, forcing the beginnings of a prey identity. One with shame at the very core of all things.
Children now were ashamed of their past. They were told that they must atone for the sins of their fathers, so that the other rebelling species would be spared annihilation. We were confined to Earth, not to be let out until we ‘purged Earth of all things predatory’. And people had embraced this whole-heartedly. First they came for the books and artifacts, then the animals, and now the people. People such as me, who still cherished the past.
I tried to remain composed. My face betrayed no emotion, easy to do without the expressive face of a non-gentled human.
“The florist Isidha Bakin is charged for the following crimes,” Bellowed the Exterminator, “ … Following a predatory ideology, holding untrue accounts of the past, distributing untrue accounts of the past, spreading Predator Disease, and having an aggressive form of Predator Disease! How do you plead?”
I knew I was going to die here. I had thought I could ride out the rest of my life in my small shop outside of Dallas, where I had been forcibly relocated too. But I had smuggled things dearest to me with. I knew it was over when an employee had discovered the fake hole in my wall, containing books of Buddhist scripture - my faith as near to me as my very life. I regretted that I had not been born earlier, so that I could partake fully in the wisdom of my forefathers. I wanted the life all generations before me lived, and not this perverse mockery of life I was now faced with. But I was here, soon to fly to the Pure Land.
And I echoed the sentiment, “My only crime is that I was not born earlier, so I could fight and prevent this.”
The crowd howled at my insult against their lives. For all their empathy, I could tell that they were here for my blood. This was a kangaroo court in every sense of the word. With nothing left to loose, I thought that I would finally say everything I had repressed for so long.
But before I could, the Exterminator spoke.
“It makes sense that a predator like you would want to hunt prey.”
I scoffed quietly, “I would do no such thing. You are all true predators!”
The crowd again howled and hollered and chanted, eager for the Exterminator to shut me up. But the young stag furrowed his brows, curious to see where I was going with this. Evidently, this was the first he had ever heard such bold words. “No. We were predators, but were better than that now. We have been shown the way by the Federation!”
The crowd hollered.
“I was there.” I responded. “So early on, how you all so quickly organized yourselves and entered the forests and zoos, armed with weapons made by predators, and laid waste to anything remotely dangerous. You piled corpses high for the sake of an irrational fear. Only a Hunter kills so callously and effectively.”
The Exterminator was stunned. I heard him stammer before he regained his gusto, and responded once more. “We don’t eat them. If you were born earlier, you would have seized those animals and slid their flesh down your gullet!”
“Even if we had done that, their deaths would have had purpose. Tell me, what did you do when you cornered the last tiger? Did you throw it in a pile, or leave it’s ashes to be blown away by the wind? It died for the sake of your irrational fears. Fears that had unraveled everything that made us human!”
“What? Is being human, simply making use of a carcass that you created?”
“No, to be human was to be in awe at the world around you! Only when you have burnt the last tree, and killed the final animal will you realize that it can’t be put back - your actions cannot be undone! A human would try to understand what scares them, and find wonder in its mysteries. This gentled humanity is the opposite. It shall spend its entire existence in fear, afraid of the dark - never to realize that it is not dangerous. Your descendants shall amount to nothing.”
The Exterminator chuckled, his voice nervous. “You are just mourning a world you never got to partake in. The Federation has given the chance to truly live, outside of our bloodlust.”
I remained silent for a moment.
“I was young when the Federation attempted to exterminate Earth-“
“The invasion of Earth did not happen. Our predatory forefathers attacked Venlil Prime for meat!” Again, the crowd cheered.
“ … They bombed indiscriminately. They destroyed billions of people. They had contempt for us then, and they still do now. Your cure was a punishment for fighting, and now your shame is written as divine punishment from a God doctored by the Federation!”
“Do not disrespect Christ the Protector! You are a sad, bitter old stag who’s seen his world crumble to dust. History is through with your predatory, cruel ideas. You will not live to see it, but Humanity shall redeem itself to the Federation, and become proper prey. Perhaps you're just afraid to enter the dustbin of history?”
I remained quiet for a moment again. I prepared for the inevitable jet of flame that would spell my end. Instead of begging for mercy, I decided to seal my fate. “No, because I won’t be entering it. Ideas are eternal. You may forget the struggles of Humanity, and all the wisdom of the generations that experienced it, but it shall not die. It will lay dormant and perhaps even be forgotten, but one day, a Human will wonder if there’s a better way. When that happens, all of the changes and curing that’s made us the way we are, will not be able to stop the march of progress.”
The Exterminator remained silent, our ears assaulted by the crowd’s cries for my silencing. Some began to storm the stage where my impromptu execution was being held, but I was spared a very painful death as the flamethrower spit death onto me. As life escaped me, so did everything I knew. The things I had seen. My memories of a fairer, independent humanity that strived towards a better future. In those moments, I felt no despair. I instead hoped as I embraced the inky darkness and awaited the hand of Amida to pull me from Samsara’s wheel.
The crowd cheered at the death of Ishida Bakin. Another step towards purifying Earth for integration as prey had come. But the Exterminator sat, watching as they lit the pyre full of books, he almost wondered what predatory wisdom those pages contained. He would live to regret his actions here, as would his son. For many generations, this discontent would stew - awaiting the proper spark that would reawaken Humanity.
submitted by khajiithasmemes2 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
——
Namu Amida Butsu.
The sound of ferocious cheers surrounded me. The animals whoop and holler for their pound of flesh, the ‘empathetic’ herd eager to see a dissenter die. I could still understand the human voices, their language an unholy fusion of a multitude of languages, intermixed with Kolashian and Venlil loan words. Each word deepened the pit in my heart, my soul heavy with grief for the mankind that was. My long ears, constrained beneath the bag around my head, still twitched at each thunderous word hollered by the herd below.
“Burn him!” They chanted, “Purify Earth of all predators!”
I was forced to my knees by a kick to the leg by the exterminator holding me. As the bag was removed, I could finally see what was going on. Those zealots had finally caught me. The Gentled Herd stood in a crowd, myself and the exterminator on a makeshift stage. On the floor below sat a pile of items. Items they had pilfered from my home. History books, family albums, porcelain statues and pictures sat piled high - doused with gasoline and primed to burn.
I tried not to cry out seeing the remainder of old Earth upon a pyre. I held my breath and mentally recited my prayer once again.
Namu Amida Butsu.
I looked up at my captor. He was human, like me. It seemed that Humanity had been gentled enough that they began to hire us. I hardly recognized him, or myself for that matter, as human though. I had been a boy when the Federation arrived with the intention of extermination. Many of the other Federative Species had attempted to defend us, and we did well for a while - fighting as the Sapient Coalition. Until we didn’t, and we accepted a particularly horrible cure to save ourselves.
As a punishment for our supposed crimes, we had been stripped of anything remotely resembling a human. We now looked more akin to deer, with long muzzles and fluffy ears, panoramic eyes with rectangular pupils, hooves, and thin fur that irritatingly came in many different patterns. We had been first conquered in body, and for my entire life, I had watched us become conquered in spirit. They had forced people to move, scrambling culture and co-opting religion, forcing the beginnings of a prey identity. One with shame at the very core of all things.
Children now were ashamed of their past. They were told that they must atone for the sins of their fathers, so that the other rebelling species would be spared annihilation. We were confined to Earth, not to be let out until we ‘purged Earth of all things predatory’. And people had embraced this whole-heartedly. First they came for the books and artifacts, then the animals, and now the people. People such as me, who still cherished the past.
I tried to remain composed. My face betrayed no emotion, easy to do without the expressive face of a non-gentled human.
“The florist Isidha Bakin is charged for the following crimes,” Bellowed the Exterminator, “ … Following a predatory ideology, holding untrue accounts of the past, distributing untrue accounts of the past, spreading Predator Disease, and having an aggressive form of Predator Disease! How do you plead?”
I knew I was going to die here. I had thought I could ride out the rest of my life in my small shop outside of Dallas, where I had been forcibly relocated too. But I had smuggled things dearest to me with. I knew it was over when an employee had discovered the fake hole in my wall, containing books of Buddhist scripture - my faith as near to me as my very life. I regretted that I had not been born earlier, so that I could partake fully in the wisdom of my forefathers. I wanted the life all generations before me lived, and not this perverse mockery of life I was now faced with. But I was here, soon to fly to the Pure Land.
And I echoed the sentiment, “My only crime is that I was not born earlier, so I could fight and prevent this.”
The crowd howled at my insult against their lives. For all their empathy, I could tell that they were here for my blood. This was a kangaroo court in every sense of the word. With nothing left to loose, I thought that I would finally say everything I had repressed for so long.
But before I could, the Exterminator spoke.
“It makes sense that a predator like you would want to hunt prey.”
I scoffed quietly, “I would do no such thing. You are all true predators!”
The crowd again howled and hollered and chanted, eager for the Exterminator to shut me up. But the young stag furrowed his brows, curious to see where I was going with this. Evidently, this was the first he had ever heard such bold words. “No. We were predators, but were better than that now. We have been shown the way by the Federation!”
The crowd hollered.
“I was there.” I responded. “So early on, how you all so quickly organized yourselves and entered the forests and zoos, armed with weapons made by predators, and laid waste to anything remotely dangerous. You piled corpses high for the sake of an irrational fear. Only a Hunter kills so callously and effectively.”
The Exterminator was stunned. I heard him stammer before he regained his gusto, and responded once more. “We don’t eat them. If you were born earlier, you would have seized those animals and slid their flesh down your gullet!”
“Even if we had done that, their deaths would have had purpose. Tell me, what did you do when you cornered the last tiger? Did you throw it in a pile, or leave it’s ashes to be blown away by the wind? It died for the sake of your irrational fears. Fears that had unraveled everything that made us human!”
“What? Is being human, simply making use of a carcass that you created?”
“No, to be human was to be in awe at the world around you! Only when you have burnt the last tree, and killed the final animal will you realize that it can’t be put back - your actions cannot be undone! A human would try to understand what scares them, and find wonder in its mysteries. This gentled humanity is the opposite. It shall spend its entire existence in fear, afraid of the dark - never to realize that it is not dangerous. Your descendants shall amount to nothing.”
The Exterminator chuckled, his voice nervous. “You are just mourning a world you never got to partake in. The Federation has given the chance to truly live, outside of our bloodlust.”
I remained silent for a moment.
“I was young when the Federation attempted to exterminate Earth-“
“The invasion of Earth did not happen. Our predatory forefathers attacked Venlil Prime for meat!” Again, the crowd cheered.
“ … They bombed indiscriminately. They destroyed billions of people. They had contempt for us then, and they still do now. Your cure was a punishment for fighting, and now your shame is written as divine punishment from a God doctored by the Federation!”
“Do not disrespect Christ the Protector! You are a sad, bitter old stag who’s seen his world crumble to dust. History is through with your predatory, cruel ideas. You will not live to see it, but Humanity shall redeem itself to the Federation, and become proper prey. Perhaps you're just afraid to enter the dustbin of history?”
I remained quiet for a moment again. I prepared for the inevitable jet of flame that would spell my end. Instead of begging for mercy, I decided to seal my fate. “No, because I won’t be entering it. Ideas are eternal. You may forget the struggles of Humanity, and all the wisdom of the generations that experienced it, but it shall not die. It will lay dormant and perhaps even be forgotten, but one day, a Human will wonder if there’s a better way. When that happens, all of the changes and curing that’s made us the way we are, will not be able to stop the march of progress.”
The Exterminator remained silent, our ears assaulted by the crowd’s cries for my silencing. Some began to storm the stage where my impromptu execution was being held, but I was spared a very painful death as the flamethrower spit death onto me. As life escaped me, so did everything I knew. The things I had seen. My memories of a fairer, independent humanity that strived towards a better future. In those moments, I felt no despair. I instead hoped as I embraced the inky darkness and awaited the hand of Amida to pull me from Samsara’s wheel.
The crowd cheered at the death of Ishida Bakin. Another step towards purifying Earth for integration as prey had come. But the Exterminator sat, watching as they lit the pyre full of books, he almost wondered what predatory wisdom those pages contained. He would live to regret his actions here, as would his son. For many generations, this discontent would stew - awaiting the proper spark that would reawaken Humanity.
2024.06.05 03:40 McShea7 AI Personal Assistant
I'm a small business owner. Like the business is just me, so I'm more of a specialist. I would love an ai assistant that can do tasks, but mostly one specific task. If anyone could point me in the right direction, that'd be great.
Here's the task I do currently:
I take call. Call is recorded and transcribed, and I get an ai call summary already which is super cool.
Customer decides to book. I ask them to respond to a text with their name and address. I text them, confirming the time, and asking for their name and address (prewritten text I just add the date and time.)
Customer texts name and address, and I manually add their name, address, and the number they texted from to my scheduling software.
I would like to eliminate the manual copying of the name, address, and number. I'm always driving or working, so if the ai could confirm, "would you like me to book John Smith at 1600 Penn for Tuesday between 10-12m?" Then I could say yes or correct, without needing to pull over it stop working
If ai is still the in the "make sentences" stage and not "do tasks" stage that's fine, but if it's feasible I'd love to do it.
My VoIP is OpenPhone and my scheduling software is housecall pro
submitted by McShea7 to ArtificialInteligence [link] [comments]
Here's the task I do currently:
I take call. Call is recorded and transcribed, and I get an ai call summary already which is super cool.
Customer decides to book. I ask them to respond to a text with their name and address. I text them, confirming the time, and asking for their name and address (prewritten text I just add the date and time.)
Customer texts name and address, and I manually add their name, address, and the number they texted from to my scheduling software.
I would like to eliminate the manual copying of the name, address, and number. I'm always driving or working, so if the ai could confirm, "would you like me to book John Smith at 1600 Penn for Tuesday between 10-12m?" Then I could say yes or correct, without needing to pull over it stop working
If ai is still the in the "make sentences" stage and not "do tasks" stage that's fine, but if it's feasible I'd love to do it.
My VoIP is OpenPhone and my scheduling software is housecall pro
2024.06.05 03:31 desiree_wins555 For those of you who broke up with an ex over 3 years ago, what are you up to now? Are you still single? If you’re in a relationship, do you see yourself potentially marrying that person in the future or are you just in it for fun and because you miss being someone’s significant other?
I’m 22. I broke up with my ex 3 years ago and we were together for 5 years. He still crosses my mind and I always wonder where he’s at or what he’s up to. He has no social medias anymore, and idk if he graduated college yet but idk where he lives now either. He went to college in SoCal, we lived in NorCal together. I just miss being in a relationship… I still haven’t found that someone yet, I’m definitely a picky person. I’ve had two talking stages with two guys I thought I saw something in. One was a cop from SoCal who had no problem flying down to hang with me in the weekends. But then I got too intimated (maybe bc the age gap?) and eventually ghosted him…… I didn’t mean to either, it was just, one day he asked how my day was going and I then I left him on read on accident then forgot to reply then was like ehhh forget it. I regret it though. Idk what he saw in me but he was definitely my dream man. The second one was just some boy close in my age. Typical fuckboy, found out a year in of our talking stage that he was only fucking other girls. Idk what I saw in him. I made him lunch for work everyday, catered to him, yet he never took me out on a single date. He just invites me over like I’m some sneaky link. Sometimes I bail on his little half-assed planned dates because I get cold feet or I just don’t want to get dressed up and he bails on me again or smt or IDFK.
Aside from where I stand on my relationship status, I’m also STILL on track with school. I’m not gonna lie I sort of fell off track with working as a phlebotomist. I had a really good job until my boss at the time wanted to fire me because of some bs. That’s another story.. ever since then (year ago) I just been unemployed. I still get money somehow with side hustles and such~. But yeah, where yall at now? Do you miss ur ex?
submitted by desiree_wins555 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Aside from where I stand on my relationship status, I’m also STILL on track with school. I’m not gonna lie I sort of fell off track with working as a phlebotomist. I had a really good job until my boss at the time wanted to fire me because of some bs. That’s another story.. ever since then (year ago) I just been unemployed. I still get money somehow with side hustles and such~. But yeah, where yall at now? Do you miss ur ex?