Have to decide whether to move my almost 2yo from her non-Montessori nursery she likes, to a better rated, Montessori nursery. She attends nursery 8:15-5:45 3 days a week, and I do some elements of Montessori at home. I’d prefer she didn’t do such long days but that’s how our life is. I’m not totally wedded to Montessori, but I am keen on that kind of thinking about building the foundations of a positive relationship to learning rather than being focused on the learning itself. At 4 years old she will go to state school (public school in US terms) and not go on to a private Montessori.
I have ADHD but I try my best and she seems to be a securely attached and confident little person. I’d say I’m mildly crunchy as a parent.
Her current nursery is rated ‘Good’ by Ofsted. She’s been there a year and she loves it but is about to move out of the baby room, where her favourite staff are.
Pros: The staff are very loving and it’s a stable staff team of long-stayers. She’s already settled in and knows the place and the staff. They’ve been pretty flexible with some of my crunchy whims like don’t give her processed meat and sugary biscuits.
Cons: something about the environment feels a bit unsafe and unloved. The building is tatty, the windowsill looks a kinda mouldy, the same sun-faded ‘project’ has been up in the window for over a year. Also we are on a different page in terms of philosophy, e.g. they use ‘good girl/boy’ all the time with the kids rather than giving specific praise. I’ve asked them not to call her good girl and they thought I was so weird. They call her things like chatterbox and miss bossyboots, which I’m not a fan of.
They take second hand toys for the nursery, and don’t get me wrong, we love a hand me down, but I’m sure they aren’t all safety marked. For instance, I once picked her up and she was chewing a metal toy car with the paint coming off, which of course set off my inner crunchy alarm for lead exposure.
The Montessori option:
Pros: Consistently rated ‘Outstanding’. Lots of great reviews by parents. Similar philosophy to what I’m trying to do at home. When we went for a tour she really liked it, and it was clear that they take pride in their displays. Good facilities. It’s too soon to know if my daughter will have ADHD but I understand that the support with building self direction skills may be helpful.
Cons: it’s a lot more money, which is doable now her 15 hours free nursery is starting, but I could do a lot of cool extra stuff with my toddler with that money... It’s closer to a busy main road and the air quality isn’t good (like a weirdo I’ve checked today with my particle monitor). They mainly have fake grass in their garden and not real grass. The biggest con: She’ll have to go through a big upheaval. She’s going to be sad, and cry, but it won’t be forever.
Both environments have a forest school area, and to my eye looked similarly visually cluttered.

Greenwich House Pottery in the West Village does a Sunday Sampler class, a one-time 2-hour thing, where you can try either handbuilding or wheelthrowing (depending on what class you select). They also do longer classes (6- or 12-week sessions) and private lessons.
Try Painted Pot. They have locations in Park Slope and Carroll Gardens, but I think one is switching exclusively to painting and the other to pottery.
Try Manic Ceramic in Williamsburg. You don’t make your own pottery, you select ones to paint which could be equally cute.
Looking to learn a new skill? Or just trying to tap into your artistic side? It’s so easy to get inspired in NYC thanks to the art all around us.
Between all the art galleries and museums, how could you not want to try something yourself? One of our favorite creative outlets is pottery, which is easy to learn thanks to NYC’s different ceramics studios.
Spend a day learning the basics from an instructor and walk home with a vase or flowerpot you can put to good use! To make it easy, we compiled our favorite ceramics studios that have the best pottery classes in NYC, no matter how much experience you have.

1. Pottery Studio 1, Multiple locations

Pottery Studio 1 offers a wide variety of classes to develop your ceramic skills at any level. In a two hour class learn to make a mug, a bowl, a vase, a candlestick etc., and take home your original piece with you! There are also classes available where you can learn to create and paint your clay creation.
Whether you’re near Manhattan or Brooklyn, you have several locations to choose from to tap into your inner ceramics artist!
📍 Multiple locations

1. Pottery Wheel and Hand Building Workshop at Tribeca ClayWorks, Tribeca

Tribeca ClayWorks is a ceramics studio in Tribeca that offers pottery classes to students of all skill levels. Their “Pottery Wheel and Handbuilding” class is one of their most popular offerings. Students receive one-on-one attention from instructors to help them build their hand skills and explore a particular technique of their choosing.
You’ll learn everything from cover glazing to proper surface techniques, so by the end of the class, you’ll have a handle on all the strategies you need to work on your own.
📍 120 Warren St.

1. Handbuilding and Wheel at 92nd Street Y, UES

The 92nd Street Y is a community center on the Upper East Side that serves as an essential social club. They host regular classes, including their hand building and wheel course, which teaches students of all levels the art of pottery.
Students learn all the basic skills they need to create bowls, plates, vases, cups, and more, including pinch, coil, and slab construction. They also offer intermediate and advanced classes where students can learn more intricate skills!
📍 1395 Lexington Ave.

1. One Day Wheel Class at Choplet Ceramic Studio, Williamsburg

Choplet is a neighborhood ceramics studio in Williamsburg that offers various pottery classes for both adults and children. Their “One Day Wheel” class is perfect for beginners and gives students the basic skills they need to begin working with the potter’s wheel. By the end of the class, students can take home the bowl or cylinder they’ve created after it’s been glazed and fired by an instructor at the school.
One Day Wheel is one of the best pottery classes in NYC for those who want to master the basics of the craft before moving on to more advanced techniques.
📍 238 Grand St., Brooklyn

1. Beginner Wheel Courses at the Potter’s Wheel, Kew Gardens

The Potter’s Wheel is a pottery shop and storefront located in Central Queens that offers unique creations from local artists. They have a beginner’s course that teaches students how to control a pottery wheel to create clay cups, bowls, and plates. The classes are three hours long and are offered three days a week for seven weeks.
Once you complete the beginner’s wheel course, you can move on to the advanced wheel course or take one of their other lessons on hand building or wheel throwing!
📍 120-33 83rd Ave., Queens

1. Handbuilding & Glazing at MUGI Pottery, UWS

Mugi Studios is a pottery gallery and studio located on the Upper West Side that showcases unique work from local artists and offers classes for beginners. We love this studio in particular because of their small and intimate class sizes that allow students to get the attention and instruction they need to succeed.
They offer workshops and classes, including their hand-building and glazing course, where students will learn the proper techniques to craft their own piece of pottery. Mugi Studios has tons of classes for all skill levels and are perfect for everyone including adult classes, kid-specific classes, beginners, and even date night classes! It’s fun no matter what the occasion is.
📍 993 Amsterdam Ave.

1. Tableware Set Workshop at Wilcoxson Brooklyn Ceramics, Greenpoint

Wilcoxson is a Brooklyn-based design studio that hosts hand-crafted pieces and various workshops. They offer mug, planter, and tableware set workshops that teach students everything they need to know about creating practical pieces they can use.
The tableware set workshop features a class size of 10 students and lasts 5 hours (with a 1-hour lunch break). Talk about getting the 1:1 time you need! By the end of the course, you get to walk away with the two large plates, two bowls, and two mugs you made!
📍 67 West St., Brooklyn

1. All Level Workshops at Supermud Pottery, UWS

Supermud Pottery is another spot for the best pottery classes in NYC on the Upper West Side offering classes, craft goods, events, and more. They offer hand-building, wheel throwing, and glazing courses for both kids and adults. Parents and children can even take a class together here and bond over a common interest in a welcoming environment.
They also offer private one-on-one lessons and courses for more experienced artisans. Supermud Pottery is our pick as one of the best pottery classes in NYC for those in search of family-friendly entertainment.
📍 2744 Broadway

1. Pottery Classes at Earthworks NYC, UES

Earthworks NYC is a pottery studio on the Upper East Side offering a retail storefront as well as a space in the back for workshops, events, and classes. Their classes provide everything students need to know to craft a handmade plate or bowl from start to finish.
The lesson’s primary focus is learning how to use the potter’s wheel to shape, trim and finish pots. But they also offer workshops on hand building, as well. Classes meet once weekly for three hours over several weeks (the exact length varies based on the particular session). If you’d prefer to hone in on a particular approach or technique, they also offer one-off workshops that go more in-depth with a specific subject.
📍 1705 1st Ave.

1. Hand Building at Brickhouse Ceramic Art Center, LIC

Brickhouse Ceramic Art Center is a ceramics studio in Long Island City that offers wheel-throwing, hand-building, and glaze chemistry classes. The art center features a fully air-conditioned 4,000 square-foot studio with 12 potter’s wheels in the classroom and five cone art kilns.
Their popular hand-building course teaches beginners the fundamentals of the technique, including coil building, slab construction, pinching, and extrusion. Their classes feature ten students or fewer and meet for three hours at a time!
📍 10-34 44th Drive, Long Island City

1. Ceramic Workshop at Mud on My Hands, Greenpoint

Intro yourself to the world of pottery with this class that comes from a lovely Greenpoint ceramic school. You will learn basic hand-building techniques for making mugs, plates, planters, and more! All materials and firing are included in the class and you can pick up your creation a few weeks later too. The class runs 2.5 hours.
📍 855 Lorimer St., Brooklyn

Hi, we've got a nice house in leafy SW London that we bought 13 years ago and is now worth around £1.3m. We (F, 43 and M, 47) have around £4.5M in assets plus civil service pensions of £32k between us from 60.
Current earnings around £700k between us but decent risk one or both lose/leave our jobs and don't earn as much again. Spend around £9k/month, no mortgage or school fees but some childcare.
Kids are approaching secondary school age and we have 2 big questions. 1) private (probably £650k) or state school 2) do we upgrade to a £2.5-3M house?
We have a tiny garden and noisy neighbours in our terraced house and half the time I think 'why do we have all this money and I have to hear the neighbours all the time?'. The rest of the time I appreciate the freedom & lack of stress we have from avoiding lifestyle creep.
Would love advice/thoughts from people in similar situations. Thanks!

Like the title says, I am a 22 year old woman living in the US. I am an undergraduate student of physics and math, and want to go to graduate school someday. I really like my major, but I’m not the best about consistently studying, lol, because of executive dysfunction and ADHD. I live with my long term partner, and our pets. My interests are: regency era romances (think Bridgerton on Netflix), journaling, painting, hiking, makeup, stationery and cooking. I love all kinds of critters including raccoons, otters, cats. I adore bumble bees, and I love sitting outside and reading on a warm summer evening. I am bi, and I have ADHD, anxiety, depression, and OCD. Other things I’d chat about: space, the universe, makeup, food, gardening, life in general, academia, the oceans. If you are between 20-28 years old and interested in being my penpal, I’d like to chat on Reddit for a little bit to make sure that we’d like to invest energy into penpaling with eachother.

When the weather is good enough to sit outside: Ernesto’s, Silver Apricot, Popina For a fresh take on old school vibes: Frenchette, Antons, Don Angie, Ops, Hawksmoor For really delicious food that’s harder to find outside of NYC: Llama San/Llama Inn, Oiji Mi (like some other folks mentioned), Eyval, Claro
Basically anywhere in west village
Convivium Osteria. Ask to have a table downstairs. It will feel like you took a trip to a small, old, romantic restaurant in Italy. Best date night ever.
New York City is the place to fall—and stay—in love. And its most romantic restaurants play a major role in that process. A natural wine and pizza bar is perfect for early-in-the-game dates. For cozy evenings, check out an acclaimed Sichuan spot with booths galore. And few places are as proposal-worthy as the elegant townhouse interiors of an upscale Greenwich Village landmark.
This guide pairs NYC restaurants with romantic occasions from first dates all the way to milestone anniversaries. These are NYC’s 13 best date-night restaurants.
For a first date
Wildair (Lower East Side)
A pastry dish at NYC restaurant Wildair featuring layers of puff pastry and piped cream sandwiched in between
This drinks-forward, New American spot on the Lower East Side is for impressing a first date with cocktails, rare natural wines, and excellent snacky plates. If you’re not at full meal-status yet, go for bubbly and dessert. Or show up on the earlier side to test drive the sparks with crispy, uni-topped pommes darphin, best paired with Wildair’s spritz. If the vibe is right, splurge on the shareable American wagyu, arguably one of the city’s best under-the-radar steaks.
Holiday Cocktail Lounge (East Village)
What’s a better conversation starter than an 1835 speakeasy that’s hosted Madonna, Al Capone, and Frank Sinatra, to name just a few? Not to mention liquid courage in the form of Singapore slings, mai tais, negronis, and other classic cocktails all made at a charming, circular bar in the center. Keep the night going by pairing your drinks with inventive snacks like kielbasa and kimchi tacos or the meaty and cheesy Cubano doughnut.
Bar Birba (Bed-Stuy)
Bar Birba is where you go for a date night that shuttles you to a charming Italian seaside cafe with marble-topped tables and menus on mirrors. The Bed-Stuy bar is the newest spot from the natural wine experts at For All Good Things, so you can expect a strong vino game. Choose from a generous selection that spotlights Italian producers and make it a full-on aperitivo date by getting fluffy mini pizzas and snacks like mushroom and pecorino-cheese arancinis.
For a second date
Modern Love Brooklyn (Williamsburg)
Exposed lights, bistro-style tables, and minimalist wall murals—Modern Love is an industrial-chic spot that was made for a budding romance. That’s because the vegan comfort food, like creamy acorn squash curry and cacio e pepe with fried mozzarella, is even better when shared. Pick from a strong wine and beer selection, and strongly consider splitting one of the milkshakes made with cashew olive oil ice cream to cap off a special second date.
For a cozy and intimate evening
Moko (East Village)
Establishing a regular romantic ritual—aka a recurring date night—is easy at this sushi hotspot. The 15-course omakase at Moko is fueled with fresh-from-Japan seafood. Your nigiri and miso soup feast ends with a scoop of housemade strawberry ice cream, leaving you pleasantly full (but not stuffed), and ready to come back.
HUPO (Long Island City)
Don’t let the unassuming exterior fool you; just past Hupo’s door is a stylish, cozy restaurant full of Chinese lantern-style lights and the irresistible scent of spicy Sichuan food. You and your date can easily be satisfied with staples like Chungking chicken, mapo tofu, and double-cooked pork, but for a more intimate experience, go all out with the choose-your-own-adventure-style mala dry hot pot.
For an adventurous and transportive date
Amor Cubano (Harlem)
This East Harlem favorite shuttles couples to 1950s Havana with an extra-large bar and wall projections of classic cars and vibrant streetscapes, which all add up to a laid-back and unpretentious date. Plus, Amor Cubano is a go-to for generous portions of hearty Cuban food. Think croquetas filled with ham, cheese, or chicken, a knockout Cuban sandwich, and braised classics like ropa vieja. Take your restaurant getaway to new heights by joining in on some after-dinner dancing—there’s often live music here.
For a group date
Mesiba (Williamsburg)
Mesiba means “party” in Hebrew, which explains why you want to bring a crew here. The plant-filled ceiling and undulating purple banquettes are mesmerizing, and so is the massive Levantine menu. Rip and dip Moroccan bread in creamy hot sauce, break off bites of tender lamb with Yemeni pancakes, and wash it all down with a Turkish coffee-infused old fashioned. Keep the party going with arak service—Mesiba pours out six kinds of the popular anise liqueur.
For an evening of eatertainment
Journey (NoMad)
The mood lighting, comfy leather couches, and globally influenced food are almost secondary at Journey—the star attractions are the four different immersive dining experiences, making for an unforgettable date night. Whether it’s augmented reality on tables, projections of far-off cities on the walls, or 3-D models of famous buildings from around the world, a meal at Journey will keep you guessing, giving you a romantic evening that’s one for the books.
For an anniversary or romantic milestone
Gaonnuri (Midtown West)
You’ll find both a special-occasion meal and stunning NYC views at this 39th-floor Korean barbecue spot. Request a seat by the window to make Gaonnuri’s five-course tasting menu even more fun. Servers prepare prime and wagyu ribeye on the tabletop grills; level things up by adding an order of decadent lobster-and-kimchi fried rice to your meal. Cocktails, fine wines, and soju provide plenty of fuel for celebratory toasts.
Enzo’s of Williamsbridge (Morris Park)
White tablecloths, framed photos of Italian movie stars, and top-notch service all promise an elegant date night at this Bronx legend. The fall-off-the-bone tender chicken scarpariello is a must-order, as are the more than dozen housemade pastas like cavatelli with broccoli rabe and sausage. They’re best when devoured with Enzo’s extensive lineup of Italian wines for a next-level night out worthy of a big anniversary.
For a proposal-worthy place
One if by Land, Two if by Sea (Greenwich Village)
With a charming name from a historical poem, One if by Land, Two if by Sea is for milestone moments—so it’s no surprise that wedding proposals happen here all the time. The restaurant takes up a historic carriage house on a pretty West Village street, and it’s tough to top the all-out romantic vibes at this special-occasion star. Fittingly, the three- and seven-course tasting menus channel a swanky wedding menu with choices like beef Wellington, seared foie gras, and chocolate soufflé.
The River Cafe (DUMBO)
Few places can top the proposal-ready views that DUMBO’s River Cafe boasts—after all, it overlooks the Brooklyn Bridge and the Manhattan skyline. The romantic feels start at the garden entrance, illuminated by twinkling lights. Once inside, fresh flowers and live piano music scream “special occasion.” It’s all amplified by an ultra-fancy menu of ricotta-stuffed rabbit loin or duck breast with roasted pearl onions. Take your date up a notch by adding caviar service to the mix.
Book now

If you do the rowboats in Central Park, there are several spots where you can discreetly finger a person in the rowboat and nobody will see you.
Book a day at any of the Korean Saunas, Sojo Spa Club or Spa Castle are classics. Aire ancient Baths if you really want to impress.
Get a sketchbook and some pencils and take the Staten Island Ferry (it is free), Draw the Statue of Liberty and the NY harbor. This is a cheaper, unique option.
Our guide to date ideas in NYC that won't break the bank (or bore you to tears)!
Let’s be real for a sec, here. Finding date ideas in NYC is pretty easy. After all, this is the city that never sleeps! The bad news? Finding good date ideas in NYC is going to be a lot harder.
If you really want to impress that special someone, you’ve gotta get a little creative, think outside of the box. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with dinner or a movie, but if you want to smash this date outta the park (and hey, why did you ask them out if you don’t want to do that?) you’ll need some cute, fun and romantic date ideas in NYC that you haven’t tried before.
So whether it’s money, a lack of creativity or something else that’s stopping you from having incredible dates in New York, keep reading to find 20+ date ideas in NYC that won’t remind you of your ex (or break the bank).
Read on to find out the best date ideas in NYC, as chosen by us!
And just so you know - we’re not paid by anybody to include these on our list. They’re just places we’ve been or experiences we’ve loved that you can use for great date ideas in New York.

The Best Date Ideas NYC

Of course you’re in a hurry, this is New York! Here are our best date ideas in NYC to get you started…

GO ON A ROMANTIC SCAVENGER HUNT THROUGH NYC

Whether you and your future (or current) soulmate are born and bred New Yorkers or you’re just visiting the city, we can guarantee you that you’ve never tried anything like this before.
You and your date will receive clues, puzzles and riddles to your phone that you need to work out together to take you on a romantic adventure through the city.
Don’t worry - there’s no goofy or cringe stops included. Just a whole lot of interesting places, an opportunity for teamwork and to get to know each other doing a fun but cute activity that will ignite a romantic spark between you…
BONUS: These scavenger hunts come with cafe and bar recommendations included, so you can suggest taking a cute recess somewhere cozy without any research!

WATCH AN INDIE MOVIE AT MOMA

Yeah, you read the title correctly.
Did you know that one of New York’s most iconic museums houses three in-house theaters? As you might expect, this isn’t the place to go see the latest Marvel movie or even anything you’ve seen the shorts for online.
This is where to go if you know your date is into Indie documentaries, foreign language movies or niche subjects like obscure 20th century cartoons. The awesome thing about this is that showings are limited and the range is phenomenal, so you’re sure to find something interesting to see together!

VISIT THE LAST PLACE ON EARTH

Somehow, apocalypse movies always seem to involve romance, but lucky for you, this NYC date idea has nothing to do with impending doom (despite its title).
The Last Place on Earth is actually an awesome board game cafe located in Greenpoint, on Graham Avenue that gives you and your SO a chance to battle-it-out in a cozy, adorable environment.
Whether you’re both gamers or total noobs, this is a cute place to get to know each other if this is your first date, or a place to remind your partner why you always play player 1!
PSST: This place also has an incredible variety of teas (we’re talking 27 if you include the iced teas!).

SOLVE A MURDER MYSTERY IN MANHATTAN

Sure, this idea is a little out of the box…but you wanna impress your date, right?
Instead of becoming partners in crime, become partners in solving crime.
Ideal for true crime lovers and players of Among Us, The Devil in Chelsea provides a head-scratching mystery that will bring the pair of you closer together as you try to solve a mystery in real time, right on the banks of the Hudson.
Combine your powers of deduction with your partner’s eagle-eye for detail (or vice versa) and get solving today! This murder mystery-style game also comes with optional embedded breaks at cafes and bars, so there’s plenty of time to stare lovingly into your sweetheart’s eyes while showing them how great you are at problem-solving…

TAKE A PICNIC TO CENTRAL OR COLUMBUS PARK

You don’t have to be a New Yorker to know that during most hours of the day, Central Park is full of couples. It's one of the most iconic places in the city, which in New York is really saying something.
But if you want to mix it up by exploring one of New York’s lesser-known green spaces, I'd personally recommend Columbus Park as one of the best candidates.
First, it’s a peaceful (well, as peaceful as New York gets) oasis that has plenty of outdoor seating to accommodate you and your partner. Secondly, Columbus park is popular with the Asian-American community (it's right next-door to Chinatown), many of whom enjoy a game of Mahjong - you don’t have to join in but if you think your partner’s up to a match, give it a try!

TRY AN OUTDOOR ESCAPE ROOM TOGETHER

You probably don’t need me to remind you that locking someone up with you on a first date is creepy, but just in case, consider this a warning. Especially if you’re looking for first date ideas in NYC.
Instead, invite your date along to play an outdoor escape room together through an NY neighborhood of your choice! This keeps the atmosphere light and friendly, you’ll never be stuck for conversation topics and there’s nothing like a little learning together to get closer to your date…

BRING YOUR PUPS TO WALT WHITMAN PARK

What could be more romantic than a stroll around a park dedicated to a poet?
If you have a dog or know your lover is crazy about canines, consider a trip to Walt Whitman Park in Brooklyn. You probably remember Whitman from your high school years - if you don’t, no biggie, Google will “refresh” your memory - and there’s nothing like poetry to get your heart thumping a little faster.
This park is super popular with New York dog walkers, so it’s the perfect place to bring your four-legged friends if you have any. If you don’t, you can always enjoy a walk around the fountain and read the poetry laid out in front of you anyways.

SCOPE OUT THE SUNSET AT LITTLE BAY BRIDGE PIER

Ok, let’s get this out of the way early: sunset is a big deal in New York City, date or not.
Whether you’re in a skyscraper or on the ground, you’ll quickly realize this is prime date time and because of this, everywhere gets pretty crowded.
Little Bay Bridge Pier is a little out of the city (Queens) and requires a bumpy walk to get there, but it’s worth the effort once the sun comes down. Expect gorgeous views and a nice, wholesome place to enjoy nature’s beauty together.
PSST: This is New York, so there’s a small possibility that you might stumble upon a rat or two here. You also have to walk across uneven rocks to reach the end of the pier, so tell your date to wear comfortable shoes (heels are an absolute no-go).

Fun Date Ideas in NYC

Loosen up and have a ball - here are some fun date ideas in NYC that don’t involve boring, awkward pauses…

EXPERIENCE DRUNK SHAKESPEARE

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore didn’t you suggest Drunk Shakespeare for our date?
If you’re looking for date ideas in NYC that show your romantic and humorous side, opt for Drunk Shakespeare. What is it? A professional actor gets loaded up with five whiskey shots before trying to recite lines from a Shakespeare play. In other words, it’s awesome.

GO ON A SELF-GUIDED NYC WALKING TOUR

Walking tours are awesome for opening your eyes to the history and culture of a place, but it can be a little awkward to persuade someone you barely know to join a bunch of strangers for the adventure.
Luckily, you don’t have to. Self-guided walking tours like these have no guide and allow you and your date to explore at your own pace. If you’re a competitive pair, race against the clock to top the NYC leaderboard. Otherwise, take your time exploring the city, learning together, and enjoying a romantic stroll through historic streets…

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE AT BROADWAY COMEDY CLUB

For date ideas in NYC that take the pressure off, give Broadway Comedy Club a try.
What better way to learn about your date than finding out what makes them laugh? Allow comedians to do the hard work for you as you enjoy a night of comedy in Midtown Manhattan!
This venue has a minimum two drink per person order (standard for New York comedy clubs) but drink prices aren’t extortionate (a Long Island iced tea is a mere 10 bucks!).

SNAP UP SOME BARGAINS AT A FLEA MARKET

New York isn’t the cheapest city in the world to try to win over a date, but difficult-to-find isn’t the same as impossible…
Challenge your date to a flea market bargain hunt at one of New York’s many flea markets. Shop around to find one that your date will like - some have cool antique photos, others specialize in furniture or jewelry, etc - and set a budget you both have to stick to.
When you’re done, head to a cozy cafe and talk over your finds! There’s no shortage of weird memorabilia in the city and you’re sure to leave the date with at least one funny story…

PLAY MINI GOLF AT PIER 25

When you’re stuck for date ideas in NYC, you can always rely on a classic.
An ideal choice for first date ideas in NYC or a relaxed activity for couples who’ve been together a long time, mini golf is the perfect way to lose a few hours to some innocent fun.
Hudson River Park in Tribeca is home to an incredible 18-hole miniature golf course that has gorgeous views of the city skyline (we won’t judge you for taking a cute couple selfie here).

SIP SOME DRINKS AT ROOFTOP REDS

If your partner isn’t a New Yorker or you’re both visiting The Big Apple together for the first time, head to Rooftop Reds.
Although it looks like any old rooftop bar, Rooftop Reds is actually a winery with a “world-first” attached to it. Opened in 2016, Rooftop Reds became the global first commercially-viable rooftop vineyard.
Since then, wine-lovers have been sipping on their favorite adult grape juice with impeccable views of the city, surrounded by the wonders and curiosities that only Brooklyn can provide…

PLAY A GAME OF SHUFFLEBOARD AT ROYAL PALMS

Never played a game of shuffleboard before? Prepare to find your next obsession.
Playing shuffleboard at Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club in Brooklyn stands out as a unique and memorable NYC date idea, thanks to the novelty of the game in New York City.
If you’re useless at sports, don’t worry: it's an easy-to-learn activity, making it accessible and enjoyable even for beginners like me! The venue also offers an array of drinks and there are numerous food trucks selling incredible food, so there are plenty of options if you want to indulge in tasty treats and cocktails as you play.
Lastly, this is an awesome activity for group dates since it adds a social dimension - it doesn’t matter who’s good or bad at the game, just that you’re having a good time!

Cheap But Cute Date Ideas in NYC

Wanna show your SO your cute side? Here are some cute date ideas in NYC that won’t break the bank…

VISIT JEFFERSON MARKET LIBRARY IN GREENWICH

Nestled in a stunning Victorian Gothic building, this historic site offers a tranquil and intimate setting, ideal for couples seeking a quiet, intellectual experience.
The library, with its serene reading rooms and a diverse collection of books, provides a perfect backdrop for meaningful conversations and even cultural experiences. Adjacent to the library is the beautiful Jefferson Market Garden, a picturesque spot for a leisurely stroll or a relaxed chat amidst blooming flowers.
This NYC date idea is not only culturally enriching and visually appealing but also budget-friendly, as there's no cost to visit the library. It's a unique choice that blends culture, history, and the charm of one of New York's most enchanting neighborhoods.

GET REFLECTIVE AT THE NICHOLAS ROERICH MUSEUM

Discover a hidden gem in New York City with a date at the Nicholas Roerich Museum!
Nestled in a charming Upper West Side townhouse, this intimate museum showcases the mystical art of Nicholas Roerich, offering a serene and reflective ambiance. Dive into a world of spiritual and cultural richness, free of charge, as you explore Roerich's captivating paintings and philosophies…
Afterward, extend your date with a romantic stroll through the picturesque streets or Riverside Park nearby. Perfect for art lovers and those seeking a tranquil, culturally enriching experience, this museum promises a uniquely memorable and affordable date in the heart of Manhattan.

GET GOURMET AT GOTTSCHEER HALL IN QUEENS

Sure, most dinner date venues are fairly standard and unlikely to surprise your partner into falling head over heels with you - but I make an exception for Gottscheer Hall.
Gottscheer Hall is a hidden gem in Ridgewood, Queens. This historic beer hall, with its roots in the Gottscheer community, offers an authentic taste of Central European culture in New York City. Imagine stepping into a space that feels like a cozy, old-world tavern, where you can indulge in delicious Eastern European cuisine and a wide selection of beers.
The warm, welcoming atmosphere, often complemented by live music or cultural events, makes it perfect for a relaxed, yet engaging date. Whether you're clinking beer steins, savoring hearty dishes, or swaying to folk tunes, Gottscheer Hall promises an experience that's not just a meal, but a delightful cultural journey.

BRING A PACK OF CARDS TO ST NICHOLAS PARK IN HARLEM

Am I seriously suggesting you bring a pack of cards with you to Harlem to impress your date? Yes I am!
This scenic park, nestled in the heart of Harlem, offers a beautiful backdrop of lush greenery and historic city views, perfect for a laid-back, intimate outdoor date. By bringing along a pack of cards, you instantly eliminate any awkward conversation starters and you can get as creative as you like with the games (build a tower, play go fish, whatever floats your boat).
Find a cozy spot under the trees or by the historic Hamilton Grange and let the relaxed atmosphere of the park ease you into conversation and playful competition, fostering a casual yet personal connection between you two human lovebirds.

GET ARTSY AT THE MET

If you’re looking for date ideas in NYC that are sophisticated, intelligent and interesting, you can’t go wrong with the Metropolitan Museum of Art (The Met) in New York City.
This enchanting experience combines culture, history, and romance and is a great way to spend an afternoon or evening with your SO. As one of the world's largest and most diverse art museums, The Met offers an unparalleled opportunity to explore a vast array of art from various periods and cultures, making every visit a new adventure. Whether strolling hand-in-hand through ancient Egyptian artifacts, admiring Impressionist paintings, or exploring contemporary exhibits, the museum's grandeur and beauty provide a perfect backdrop for deepening connections and sparking conversations.
After exploring the galleries, you can enjoy a coffee or a meal at one of the museum's elegant cafes, or take a romantic walk in Central Park, which is just steps away.

The earth opened and the monsters came, and it was the end of the world. But it didn’t feel like it because we were still here.
There was never a time I can remember where the creatures did not lurk in the shadows, kidnapping stray helpless children or hapless adults; sometimes it would be that someone of Golgotha would go missing and whispers over breakfast would be the consequences of it. Funerals were frivolous, even if there were sometimes candles lit in the absence of the missing. Generally, it would be the elders that would sit around wooden tables, hum old hymns and maybe they would whisper a few kind words to Elohim or Allah or perhaps a more pagan variety; I came from a fully loaded Christian household where the paganistic murmurs were often seen as little better than the monsters that came from the earth.
Whatever the case may be, it was simple mourning, simple human mourning and it was sad and miserable and more numbing every time I’d see it happen. Sometimes it would be Lady (she was an old shamanistic-style woman with tattered robes and graying hair, even some whiskers on her chin too) that would culminate a hymn in the streets with her incense or more for the missing, but it was Christian and good in that way. Always about Jesus, always good clean words and simple gospels that were quiet and weak.
It was a young woman that’d gone missing sometime the previous night; there’d been a patrol sent out among the old ruins too because the missing girl was the daughter of a Boss. The Bosses were distinguished leaders in Golgotha, due to their tendency for extreme and untempered cruelty and whenever someone crossed a Boss or whenever a Boss lost something precious, everyone took notice, because the Bosses controlled the functions of Golgotha. It just so happened the Boss whose daughter went missing was also the fellow that controlled the water supply. His name was Harold and that wily sonofagun shut off the pumps that moved ground water into our homes. He was the only one with the key and said he’d not divulge it to a soul if the girl wasn’t returned.
Some of the boys on the compound cultivated a posse with impassioned cries of mutual aid and such, but Boss Harold, no matter how much they threatened or how many of his fingers they snapped in their desperate grasp for humanity, would not comply. Most of the boys surmised it was likely the girl was dead and her remains would be impossible to find due to the way monsters tended to grind bones into powder and dry swallow even the gristle of our fragile bodies; there’d be nothing left—or if there was anything left of her it wouldn’t be her any longer (assuredly she’d be a husk or unworthy of saving). When hard torture failed, the boys cried for more reason, and yet Boss Harold would not budge. The old Boss said, “I’ll stop the motor of the world until she’s found!”
A group of rabblerousing youths had absconded with his daughter or so he said; the reality was much more likely that she had run from home of her own free will either by wanderlust or ignorance. When all was said and done, the families came to me and said, “Hey, Harlan, buddy, pal, you’ve lost weight. You’re looking good, Mister Harlan, did you get a haircut?”
I’d heard about the girl. I’d heard about the posse sent out to Boss Harold’s abode—the compound ain’t that big—and knew they’d be coming for me because I was a scavver, a person that wades through the old ruins either for illusory history pages or weapons or even (and this one was a rare treat) lost people. I knew they’d come for my services and had already put together my pack for travels with rations and light tools—no gun; drawing attention in the old ruins was a dumb thing because sound could travel forever.
“I’m going,” I told the group that’d been sent for me, “I don’t reckon any of you’d like to come with me?” I looked over the dirty faces, the faces of men, women, children that could scarcely be called grown, and none stood out because they were all tired and dirty and I imagined I looked much the same.
Then a girl’s voice broke out from the crowd, and she stumbled forward from the line of strangers that’d come to see me at my door. “I’ll go!” she said, “I want to go with you, Mister Harlan.”
It was unsurprising. Youngsters always thought the old ruins were like a field trip, like maybe they’d find a souvenir for their sweetie and come home with a good story. Most didn’t come back, and those that did usually came back with scars beneath the skin from what they’d seen in the out there. It was like a game for them and when they saw what the world outside the walls held, they would retreat into themselves for fear. It wasn’t just the monsters. It was the ruins themselves, the overwhelming demolition of us; we were gone and yet we were here. It’s a hard thing to cope. I looked over the skinny girl with a grimy face; she couldn’t have been older than sixteen. Her hair was cropped very short, and I could see no immediate deformities that might slow my travels, so I asked, “What’d your parents say?”
Without flinching, the girl shouldered her pack straps with her thumbs and almost cheerily answered, “They’re dead, sir.”
“Don’t call me sir.” I stepped nearer her, looked over her face and saw perhaps a will I’d not seen in some time. Maybe she would be more of a help than a hinderance. “Do you have everything you need?”
“Yes.”
“Then we leave immediately.” I shouldered my own pack and followed up with, “Do not bring any fucking guns.”
“Got it! No fuckinguns.” Her tone was sarcastic, but not unserious. It was the best I could hope for, and besides it was always better whenever I travelled with someone else.
We took off from my small hidey-hole and moved through the narrow stretches of street, tall metal and concrete stood on either of our sides, mostly housing and hydroponics, with a few spots with stools where a person could stop in for a drink of cool water. Although a few of the Bosses had toyed with the idea of expanding the hydroponics so that we might produce corn whiskey in bulk, this was scrapped when the math was done; the space was insufficient for such luxuries, but this did not stop some from fermenting small berries in batches when no one else was paying attention. Wine was incredibly rare, had a moldy taste to it, but was sweet and a further reminder of maybe why we held on. I liked wine pretty good, but sometimes I’d find an old bottle in the ruins or get a jug of liquor from one of the far settlements and that’s what I really cherished.
“You ever been out of town?” I asked her.
“No.”
“Don’t act a hero, don’t be funny out there, don’t make noise, don’t get in my way. If I tell you something, you do it without questions.”
First, I heard her footsteps fall slowly, then more quickly before she answered me as though she had to stop and think about what she was going to do next; perhaps she was having second thoughts? “Don’t try to scare me from the ruins,” she said, “I’ve wanted to go out there for years now and everyone always says there’s old stuff. Our old stuff. Stuff that used to belong to us.”
“Used to belong to us? What do you mean?”
“Humans or whatever. It used to be ours.”
“It hasn’t been ours within my lifetime. Leave it to them, because it’s theirs now. If you find some small thing out there that you like, then take it, but otherwise, it ain’t home no more.” There was no need for me to elaborate on who I meant whenever I said them, because anyone knew exactly who they were: the creatures from beneath the earth, the demons, the monsters.
We came to the outer sections of town near the gate and the walls stood high over our heads while morning breeze kicked up spirals of sand wisps across the ground. The walls were probably fifty or sixty feet tall, and several yards thick with titanium and concrete and rebar; along the parapets of our fortifications were patrolmen that watched the horizon and fired at anything that moved with fifty-caliber bullets. The men up there, and they were mostly men (the show-off types), wore ballistic weaves, bent and tarnished war helmets of the past, and carried mottled fatigue colors on their bodies like for-real militiamen. There hadn’t been an attempt on Golgotha from the monsters in days; it was a quiet week.
The nearest dirt street spilled into an open square with sandbag barricades overlooking the gate from atop a small hill. I waved down Maron. Boss Maron wore boots and an old-school cowboy hat with an aluminum star pinned on its forehead center; he swaggered over, “Going out, Mister Harlan?” His mustache caterpillar wiggled, nearly obscuring a toothy grin.
I nodded.
“It’s ‘cause Harold ain’t it?”
I nodded.
“You know that crazy bastard had some of my guards lock up the boys that stormed his home? If you ask me, he deserved whatever pain those fellas brought to him for shutting the pumps off.”
I idly studied the sidearm holstered on his hip then looked at the nearby guards by the gate, each with automatic weapons slung across their chests. “You still locked them up, didn’t you?”
Boss Maron spat in the dirt by his feet and laughed a little dry. “Sure did. Harold’s got the key to the water, and I won’t be crossing him. Don’t want the riffraff questioning Bosses.” He flapped his hand at the notion then swaggered away and waved at his guards to open the gate. The one nearest a breaker box on the righthand side of the gate opened the electrical panel, flipped a switch then the hydraulics on the gate began to decompress as it unlocked and rusty gears began to rock across one another to slide the great, tall metal door open.
“Try not to lose any fingers or toes while you’re out there. Oh!” he seemed to take notice of the young girl following me, “Got a new companion? Does she know what’s happened to the last few that’s traversed those desperate lands with you?”
“Hm?” asked the girl.
“Oh? Harlan?” Boss Maron smiled so hard I’d think his mustache might fall of his face from the sheer tension of the skin beneath it, “He’s a real globetrotter, quite a dealmaker, but just don’t be surprised if he leaves you behind.” This was followed by a sick chuckle.
I refused to respond and merely watched the clockwork gate come to a full open while the guards on either side prepared to angle their guns at the opening like they half-expected something to come barreling towards them. The doorway was empty and through the haze of the wasteland I could scarcely make out the familiar angles of the old ruins far out.
The girl didn’t engage either, for which I was thankful.
Boss Maron wide-stepped closer then patted my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Don’t forget the shiny flag.” He tucked a foil sheet into my front shirt pocket, “His daughter was due west supposedly. Good luck.” Then he clapped me on the back before returning to his post by the sandbags where a small table displayed his game of solitaire.
We moved through the gate, and I could sense the uneasy rhythm of the young girl’s movement just over my shoulder. As the gate closed behind us with a large and final shudder, I heard her breath become more erratic.
“The air feels thicker out here,” she said.
“It is sometimes,” I tried talking the nerves out of her, “It’s hot and cold all at the same time, ain’t it? Know what I mean? It’s hot devil air, but also you feel chills all over, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” Her pace quickened so that we walked alongside one another.
“It’s just the nerves. You get used to it. Or. Well.”
“Or?”
“Or you don’t get enough time to.”
“What did ol’ Maron mean about other people dying with you?”
“Not many people venture outside the compound and even fewer go into the ruins. It’s all very dangerous. Most don’t make it back. That’s all he meant.”
“But you do. Make it back, I mean.”
I sighed. “I do, yeah.”
“My name’s Aggie, by the way. Sorry I didn’t say that before, Mister Harlan.”
“What’d your parents do when they were still around?”
“Dad was a farmer that worked with the hydroponics and Mom was a general fixer. She liked making clothes when we had the material.”
“Good people, it sounds like.”
“Sometimes,” said Aggie, “Hey, please don’t let me die, alright?” The words weren’t constructed so much as blurted; they came as a joke but did not seem like one.
“Okay.”
For a mile out in a measured circle, there was open sandy, flat ground stretching from around the perimeter walls of Golgotha; all the clutter, junk, and buildings had been disposed of years prior to grant the compound’s snipers comfortable sights in all directions. The openness went out for a mile and in every direction, one could see the ruins, the crumpled dead vehicles, half-snapped spires that lie in angles, and the gloom-red tint in the air that seemed to emanate from the ground like heat waves off fire. It was scarred air, where the creatures had unearthed some great anomaly from beneath the dirt. In honesty, it was like passing through the foul stench of death and painted everything in a blood hue. It stank and it was hot and it was cold.
We moved in relative silence; only the sounds of our boots across granular dirt or the clink of zippers whenever either Aggie or I was to readjust the packs on our shoulders. As we came upon the edges of the ruins, where we entered the red mist, and the air was alien. Finally, Aggie cleared her throat and mentioned through mildly exerted breathing, “Think we’ll find her?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “Keep quiet and whisper. We can talk but keep it low.” We began to enter the thick of the ruins where ancient structures crept up on either side of us. “What made you come with me?” It was a question I’d wondered the whole time and figured her reasoning was weak.
“There’s not much home. I’d like to see some of the world before I go. Seems like things get worse and worse and for when I do leave this world, I want to see something other than the walls of home.”
“Fair answer.” Her reasoning was weak. “What if you’ve bit off more than you can chew?”
“Maybe.” She followed this up with another question of her own,” What made you start venturing out?”
“I wanted to see something other than the walls of home.” I felt a smile creep around the corners of my mouth, but quickly tempered myself. “Whenever people go out on their own without a guide, they die. I doubt we’ll find Harold’s daughter.” I left a pause. “You’re nearly her age, ain’t you? Did you ever know her?”
“You speak like she’s dead for sure.”
“Most likely, she is. Did you know her?”
“No, but I guess I’m an optometrist.”
“Optimist,” I corrected.
“Whatever. She’s a piece of home. I feel like I’m old enough to take care of myself and I want to help people. Not everyone thinks that way, but we’re all one big family, aren’t we?”
“While I appreciate your thoughts on it, I doubt the daughter of a Boss would feel the same about you.”
“The Bosses protect us.”
The ruins began to swallow us whole as we ventured through the ancient pathways, broken asphalt and wreckage littered the wide-open street. A nearby, worn post named the path: Fif Aven. I’d gone there before and left most things untouched. Although there were a few open holes in the structures on either side—places where large entryways might’ve gone hundreds of years ago—they were mostly empty, black with shadow, and picked clean long long ago. Non ideal for an alcove of respite from the open air. We shifted down the street, my eyes darting from old signs and vehicles bent and rusted and abandoned. I motioned for Aggie to come closer as I sneaked through the rubble towards a wall where there were no entryways into the monolithic structures. We hugged the wall and moved with trepidation, sometimes climbing across overturned wreckage tiptoeing in our boots to muffle all sound. Every footfall felt like a scream.
“We should go on for another mile or so before we find a place to rest. I know one up the way.”
“Rest? Are you tired already? That’d burn what daylight we have,” said Aggie.
I shook my head, “The last thing you want is to be without your wits in a place like this. If you’re too tired to run, you’re too tired to live.”
“Aren’t they fast? If they catch you in the open, they’ll get you, won’t they?”
I thought of a lie then thought better, “Yes.”
“Oh.”
“If you see one. Don’t scream. Don’t even breathe. If they haven’t seen you, you still have a chance.”
The air grew wet and smelled of chlorine, and I snatched Aggie’s sweating hand in my own before grappling her into my arms; she was small and fought noiselessly for only a second before going still. I shifted us into a concrete doorway with a half-destroyed awning and whispered a quick hush as I glided us near a piece of wreckage.
I felt her tenseness leave and let go of her before she crouched alongside me in the shadowed cover of an old van that had, ages before, slammed into a nearby wall. The door of the vehicle had been removed and we angled in slowly, silently, crawling towards the rear of its cabin to peer from the broken windows, all the while hoping its old axles would not creak. Feeling her hand on my shoulder, I twisted round to look Aggie in the eye; terror erupted from her face in tremors while she mouthed the words: what’s that?
Simply, I put a finger to my lips and took a peek at the thing moving down Fif Aven. The creature was on the smaller side, closer to the size of a run-of-the-mill human, but twitched its muscles in a fashion that contested humanity. The thing walked upright on two feet, but sometimes used its hands to move like an animal. The most intricate and disturbing of its features, however, was its head. With vibrant green skin, with speckles of yellowed globules across the surface of its body (likely filled with creamy pus), with a mishappen balloon head that first opened in half with a mouth folded as an anus, dispersed a corrosive gas into the air while it deflated, then reinflated and quivered—the creature’s head moved as a sack filled with misty gas, wobbly and rubbery. It had no eyes, no other features besides that awful head.
We watched it go, stop, disperse its toxic mist into the air, then leave. I kept my eyes on it, nose and mouth tucked beneath the collar of my shirt, and glanced at Aggie to see she’d followed suit. The smell could choke.
Once I was certain the thing had decided to move well outside of earshot (not that it had ears) I motioned for Aggie to follow me out of the van, down the sidewalk, through an intersection of roads, and into a small opening in one of the smaller structures. Our feet were swift, and I was grateful she was graceful. We moved through the darkness of the structure, and I led with intimate knowledge of the place. There was a safe spot near the rear of the building. I reached out in the dark, felt a handle and pushed into a small closet and pulled Aggie through.
My lantern came alive and bathed us in a warm glow. Shelves across the small room were lined with various supplies I’d left. A few boxes of matches, oil for lanterns, a bedroll, blankets, and other miscellaneous baubles.
Aggie inhaled sharply, “I’ve never seen anything like that! It was. I don’t know. It was weird and gross. Little scary. Is that what they look like?”
I shifted around onto the floor and opened my pack while placing the lantern between my legs. “You’ve been up on the compound’s walls before, ain’t you?”
“Once.”
“Well, sometimes those things get closer to home. I don’t know what you’d call them. Some of the wall guys call them fart heads because when you shoot one in the head with a rifle it goes pfffft. Lotta’ that chlorine shit comes out of them too.”
“Do bullets kill them?” She asked while removing her own pack and fixing her legs alongside mine in the closet; it was a snug fit, but we managed. “Like really kill them or does it just empty those heads?” I could feel her shaking still.
“If you use enough, sure. Durable, but manageable if you have enough firepower. Those are small fries. Normally they wouldn’t sneak up on me though. Normally I’d smell them from far off before they ever get close.”
“Did I distract you?”
“Maybe.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“It was bound to happen, I reckon.” I plunged my hand into my pack and removed a water gourd, taking a deep swallow from it.
She started, “Have,” she stopped then started again, “I wish,” another stop came then she gave up on whatever she was going to say and laid her pack across her lap, seemingly searching for something within.
“We should rest up here for a while. At least until you’ve calmed yourself. Then we’ll set out. Maron said the girl went west. You should have that detail in case this trip happens to be my last. I figured we’d search the northern area first then make our way south, but—I hope she ain’t south.” I exposed the face of my compass.
A thought seemed to occur to Aggie while she removed her own water gourd and took a healthy swig. Sweat glistened off her brow in the dancing light of the lantern, its fire caught in her pupils while she thought. “You don’t actually think you’ll find her, do you?”
I grinned, surprised. “Why do you say that?”
“You think she’s dead already, so why do it?”
“Because they’ll believe me when I come back. I suppose we’ll return in two days, maybe three, then tell them we found her corpse.”
“Well why don’t we just stay here for the remainder?”
“We’ll look for her,” I said.
“But why?”
“It’s the right thing to do, I suppose. Maybe your optometristism is rubbing off on me.”
“Don’t make fun of me,” said Aggie, but I could see her sheepish grin. She held out a hand flat across her eyes and watched the nervous tremors in her fingers.
“Just nerves,” I told her.
“It’s a little exciting.”
“Now that’s a dangerous thought,” I took another swig from my water gourd before returning it to my pack. “Do you know where your parents hailed from?”
“Somewhere up north. Cold lands, but it was hard not to freeze in the winter up that way. Said they came down here years before I was born, hoping they could find a place to settle, but it was all the same. That’s what they said.”
“Never been further north than Golgotha, if I’m being honest. I’m from a place that once was called Georgia, but I’ve not been there in years.”
“Is it true what they told me, Mister Harlan?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is it the same everywhere? Is there no place around that’s not got those awful things?”
“If there’s a place like that, I haven’t seen it yet.”
“Mom used to read to me when I was a little kid,” she said, “I never could pick up reading, but she loved old books that were written before bad times and in those books, people talked about things like green fields that stretched on forever, and places where water streams were clear enough to drink from. Do you remember anything like that?”
I chuckled while continuing to rummage through my pack, “Geez, how old do you think I am? All that was a long time ago.”
“Yeah. You think it’ll ever be like that again?”
I shook my head. “Wishful thinking.” Then I found what I’d been searching for and removed it from my pack. A small tin of tobacco; I sat to rolling a makeshift cigarette then lit it off the lamp.
“That smells funny.”
“Yeah.”
We shared the cigarette in the dark closet, passing it back and forth; her lungs, not being used to the smoke, forced from Aggie a few whimpering coughs that she tried to hide in the hem of her shirt.
I ducked the tobacco out beneath my heel and began reorganizing my pack so that it was less lumpy. “I hope you’re ready for it again. Like I said, that one you saw was a small fry. There’s bigger things out there. Worse things.”
“Should I go, or should I just stay here?” She hadn’t reorganized herself at all and remained seated while I shouldered my pack and peered through a crack in the door.
“Of course, you should come with me. I know it, you’re scared.”
“What if I make it worse and I attract one of those things right to you?” She asked.
I reached down and she took my hand; I lifted her to her feet and we met eyes, “Aggie, you’re coming with me. You’ll do fine. I promise.” It was not often that I’d try and charm someone, but I put forth a smile.
She smiled back and I shut off my lantern before leading her gently through the dark, into the open street where midday sun caught the ruins shadows long and deep. West was where the girl had gone and I intended to follow. Though I’d seen no signs of survivors, I was certain that if they’d braved the previous night, they were likely about in the daytime. Certainly, things would be made easier if I could cup hands around my mouth and echo my voice through the dead city like a game of Marco-Polo. Aggie maintained both energy and quiet alongside me as we moved through the rubble, vaulting over wide-open holes in the street where I could spy the arteries of the dead beast (the old sewer network).
We conversed frankly and in whispers when we came upon a place in the road that was impassible on foot due to a collapsed structure and we stalked more like wounded deer in a forest than humans in a city; our shoulders remained slouched, our bodies were huddled near to each other, and we delved into the dark recesses of another building—possibly a market from old days when patrons congregated for frozen fish sticks. There were massive steel shelves and we took their avenues till we came upon an aperture on the far side of the dark building. We shifted over the broken glass of an old torn out window and landed firmly on an open street.
Then came a sound like firecrackers and I felt cold and Aggies eyes went wide in the dull evening glow of the sun.
“Someone’s brought a gun,” I said.
Before she could say anything, I hugged the wall on our side of the street and moved down the sidewalk, following the sound of those gunshots.
“Maybe it’s someone that could help us?” she tried.
I shook my head.
“What do you mean?” she whispered a bit louder.
“It’s bad news,” I said, then came to a full stop at a corner while another hail of bullets spat from some unseen weapon and echoed all around; we were getting much closer. “Have you ever seen a dead body?” I asked Aggie.
She shook her head, but then stopped. “I was the one that found my mom. She was stiff and cold.”
“She went peacefully?”
Aggie shook her head, “Flu.”
“Any blood?”
“No.”
“If you’re not ready for blood, you might not want to look.”
We rounded the corner to find a small blockade of burnt-out vehicles creating a barrier between us and the action.
Two men with assault rifles fired at a creature towering over them. The creature in question stood thirty feet tall on spindly legs like a spider, but each of its legs were tumorous and its muscles were strangely uneven and mushy; although an arachnid may have eight legs, this one moved sluggishly along on no less than twenty shambling stilts so that the rounded body where the legs met looked more akin to a sea urchin. Several of its long legs stood out on its sides to angle its body through the narrow corridor of the street, its whiskery feet pushing along the walls of buildings overhead. Its whole body stank of wet dog and brimstone.
The men—they looked like young militiamen of Golgotha—staggered in awe of the thing and attempted to walk backwards while reloading. Another spray of bullets erupted from their rifles, and they were empty and the men screamed and one of them tripped across some unseen thing on the ground.
Quick as a fly, one of the massive creature’s legs sprang onto the prone man’s abdomen. Their was a brief cry of pain and then—I felt Aggie pinch onto my shoulder with her thumb and forefinger and I glanced at her to see she’d chewed into the corner of her bottom lip for purchase in response to such a fantastical display of awfulness—the man had no skin, no clothes, he’d been stripped to runny red fibrous tissue with strips of white muscle that twitched in the presence of the air.
“Oh god please god!” screamed the other man while watching his comrade writhe in pain beneath the stalky foot of the skin-taker.
I shuffled lower among the arrangement of vehicles we’d taken refuge behind and me and Aggie breathed softly, glancing eye contact while sitting in the dirt. There wasn’t anything to say.
The sound of the spider creature removing the second man’s skin was slower, torturous, seemingly enjoyed; his screams did not end for too long. I fisted my hands into my jacket pockets then stared at the ground between my knees. I felt Aggie’s thin fingers reach into my pocket and it took me flinching to realize she intended to hold my hand. She was shaking and I was shaking, but she was good and did not scream. And we held hands while we listened to the thick trunks of the spider creature shift on away. And we didn’t move. And we were statues frozen like we belonged among the dead ruins. And we didn’t move. And then Aggie shifted to look before I’d gathered my feelings and motioned me on.
“What’s that?” she asked as simply as she’d asked the color of the sky.
“Bad.” I shook my head and looked for an opening in the blockade of vehicles.
Two meaty blood ponds marked where the men were and on approach, I covered my face in the collar of my shirt; Aggie lifted her forearm to her nose. The stench of the beast and of the viscera was strong in the air.
I examined the ground then found one of their rifles. Standard M16. The strap on the rifle was frayed to ribbons and the barrel of the gun appeared to be slightly bent, but salvageable. I handed the rifle to Aggie and she took it.
“What about no guns?” she asked.
“There’s no bullets left. Besides, it’ll be good to bring it back.” Examining what was left of the bodies, my eyes went away and into my mind where all things become ethereal and difficult to grasp; I looked without seeing and imagined a place where green grass was, a place like in the books Aggie’s mother read. No grass here. Just misery.
“Who were they?” she asked.
“The men?”
“Yeah.”
“They sent out a patrol looking for Boss Harold’s daughter. Looks like we’ve found it. Never should’ve sent them.”
“I want to go home,” said Aggie.
“Me too.” I blinked and shifted around to look at her through the red hue that’d gathered between us. Try as I might, the smile on my face almost hurt. “If you stick with me, you’ll be safe.”
We took up in one of the safehouses I’d developed over the past several years, a room hidden up two flights of stairs and large enough to host a party. In the lantern glow we heated rations—eggs and hearty bread with water-thinned weak tomato paste—then ate in relative quiet so that the only thing heard were our jaws over the food that tasted bitter; food always felt slimy and bitter in the ruins where the demons reigned supreme. Their stink was on us. Like sulfur, like rot, like sorrow.
I rolled us each a cigarette and we smoked while looking out through a brackish window that overlooked the black street. No lights in the darkness save blinking yellow eyes caught for moments in dull moonlight whose owners quickly skittered towards an alley.
“How don’t you get lost?” asked Aggie.
“I do sometimes.”
“You could’ve fooled me.”
“I mean, I know the ruins fine enough, I reckon, but then I feel like I’m drowning in it every time I come here.” I took a long draw from my cigarette, finished it, then planted it beneath my boot.
“Did you have parents?” she asked.
“Everyone has parents.”
“What were they like?” Aggie held her cigarette out from her like she didn’t actually want it, but just as I looked over at her, pulling my eyes from the window, she jammed it into her lips.
“They were fine. Just fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Yeah.”
“I wish it was better,” said Aggie.
“Don’t imagine there’s ever been a point in history where we didn’t want it to be better.”
“Maybe.” She coughed through smoke.
I moved to dim the lamp and sat atop my bedroll. “You should sleep.”
“Don’t think I could sleep. I’ll have nightmares.” She pitched the remainder of her cigarette.
“Can’t be worse than the real deal.”I shut off the lamp and we laid in pitch black.
“How do you do it?” she asked.
“Most of the time, it feels like I’m not.” I stared at the ceiling I couldn’t see. “Go to sleep.”
At daybreak, we ate bread and water then gathered our things before setting into that awful wasteland. Sand gathered around our legs in wisps as we trundled tiredly onto the street of the ruins and Aggie said nothing. There wasn’t a thought in my mind as my joints protested at us climbing over the wreckage of an overturned semi-truck; first I went, then I hoisted Aggie up by her lanky arms then we jumped onto the other side, moving less like scouts and more like hungover comer-downers.
Passing through the ruins, each step feeling more like a glide and less creaky, Aggie spoke from over my shoulder as I kept my eyes sharp on the buildings’ shadows, “I doubt we’ll find her,” she said.
“What happened to the optimism?” I shifted to catch her face; she seemed dejected, tired, perhaps disillusioned by the previous day’s happenings.
“I didn’t know there were things like that in this world. Like that spider thing. Those men didn’t stand a chance.”
I shook my head, and we continued moving. “There are worse things still over the horizon. Most assuredly there is. Now you asked me before why I come out here in these ruins, why I’ve trekked the wasteland, and I’ll give you the opportunity to ask it again—maybe I’ll have something different to say.”
“Okay. Why then?”
“Because,” I kicked at a half eroded aluminum can left on the ground, “Places like Golgotha, or even where I’ve come from, there’s nothing like the red sky or the open road. There are no ties, no people. There’s only the next step.”
She took up directly beside me as we turned onto a street corner where the sidewalk mostly remained intact. “Sounds stupid to me.”
“There it is then.”
“Sorry,” she muttered, then she spoke even more clearly, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t get it.”
“It’s because I’m a dealmaker,” I said.
“That’s what Maron called you before, wasn’t it?” Aggie absently stared at the sky, at the edges of the high spires overhead that seemed to swallow us whenever clouds passed over the sun. “What’s that mean?”
“It means it’s harder for me to die.”
“Just luck, if you ask me.”
I clenched my jaw. “Probably, it is. Yeah.”
Then, with time, we came to the garden. A place in the ruins where greenery existed—even if the plants that grew from the soil were otherworldly and aggressive. There was the solitary sound of dirt catching crags in the structures as hard wind pushed silt through the narrow streets of the ruins, then there was also the sound of a flute, a flute made of bone and skin. The sound was sickly sweet, illusive, something no human could play even if they listened carefully and practiced for hundreds of years. There was the flute, the greenery, the clacking of hooves against old stone that’d risen from the earth much the same as the demons.
Aggie whispered, “What’s that music?”
I reached out my hand so that she would hold it and I tried to smile. “There are worse things still over the horizon.”
Her delicate scrawny fingers wrapped around my own and though I felt her trembling, she trusted me (I hoped she really did). I led her towards the garden, through a walkway with tall obelisks of flame on either side. “What is this place?” whimpered Aggie.
“If you are asked your name, tell it plainly without hesitation,” I said, “Do not leave my side. Do not run.”
“Where are we going?” her eyes scanned the garden, the flames dancing in the midday reddish light, the trees bent at impossible angles, the glorious green grass that looked cool and soft. I’d been in awe the first time I’d seen it.
I smiled, “Just like your mom’s old books. Green grass.”
The flute grew louder as we came closer and the hoof beats on stone shifted with enthusiasm.
There in the center of the garden stood Baphomet, ten feet tall, feminine midsection with goatish head and legs. It pranced with the flute to its mouth, and the tune resounded playfully all around. The creature danced across an area of stones in the center of the garden, a place where there were rock tables and chairs and sigils upon the ground—amid the open furniture, there stood a throne of human bones and near where Baphomet played its wily tune, there was a covered well, rope tautly hanging from its crank as if there was something heavy on the other end.
I smelled you coming, said Baphomet. Even as it spoke, it continued to play its flute without pause. Its muscular shoulders glistening with reddish sweat, its horns gloriously pointed and reveled in its merriment.
“Let us convene,” I said, mouth dry and feeling heady.
Convene?
“I’m here for the girl.”
I felt Aggie shift uncomfortably beside me, but I kept my eyes locked on Baphomet.
It seems you have one already.
“She came west, towards here two days ago. She was a runaway. You have her.”
Come, Harlan, come and dance with me. Baphomet did not stop its flute or its dancing.
I sighed. “I’m here to make a deal.”
Baphomet froze, allowing the boney flute to drop from its goatish lips. Its animal eyes casually switched between me then Aggie, before it turned to face us completely. A deal?
“Y-yes,” I nearly choked.
You’ve brought so little to bargain with. Baphomet shifted and walked to its throne to sit, clacking its long nails against the armrest. Unless. The creature allowed the word to hang against my brain like a splinter.
I lifted the hand holding Aggie’s. “A deal,” I tried.
Quick as a flash, Baphomet disappeared in a haze of black smoke then reappeared over Aggie’s shoulder. I dropped her hand and stepped away while the creature exhausted dew from its nose before sniffing Aggie’s ear.
Aggie swallowed hard, “Harlan?” she asked, “What’s it doing?”
“I’m sorry, Aggie.”
Baphomet took its hands through her short hair and inhaled sharply. A long tongue fell from its mouth and saliva oozed before it snapped its snout shut. The pleasure will be all mine.
“Harlan, let’s go—I want to go home.” Aggie’s tears rolled down her face in full while the large hand of Baphomet lightly squeezed her cheeks into a pucker.
You are home.
Baphomet took Aggie and moved her casually; her legs moved feebly, knees shaking.
Sit darling. Said Baphomet, motioning to its throne. Aggie took the chair and the creature snorted approval.
The demon moved jauntily to the well, where its strong arms began to roll the crank; with each rotation, the sound of cries grew closer. Until finally, all limbs pulled backwards in bondage, there dangled Boss Harold’s daughter; deep cuts and blood painted her mangled, distorted body. She’d been pushed into the well belly first, suspended by her wrists and ankles. I bit my tongue.
“Oh god,” I heard Aggie say. It sounded like a far-off girl from an unknown planet.
Baphomet lifted the girl from her bondage then sliced the rope with a razor-sharp fingernail. I hesitantly moved closer to the scene and removed my jacket.
RoyalRoad
Archive

One thing about it. Is that I have seen how kindly his family gets treated and how nasty I was treated especially when it came to unlocking the door and cooking food. He would scold me for hours about not having the door unlocked and complain about how he always cooks despite telling me what to cook for lunch and dinner daily… I think I have accepted crumbs for a relationship and that’s all I will be given in his eyes. Till this day other people have been kinder to me and never interrogated me about my life plans as though I am not doing anything. I work I cook I clean and I go to school and still get interrogated.

Hey Brisbane!

From TONIGHT to Sunday, the 9th of June we have a little bit of everything. There's some Cuban and Latino, a lot of Jazz and even a Sitar player. Beauty and the Beast is closing at QPAC, Sky Ferreira is playing tonight at the Princess and my broke ass is going to miss it. Everything is Embarrassing - or just my wallet?
Speaking of which, feel free to chuck a gold coin in to my PayPal if this guide has kept you occupied. It's much appreciated.
Alright, stay safe out there, don't drink and drive - above all else, enjoy yourselves!
Party on, music lovers!
THE JUNK BAR https://www.thejunkbar.com.au/events/ Open Mic Wed 5 - 1900 Free
Rearranging Deckchairs Thu 6 - 1900 From $10
Moths To A Flame + DADCAM & Massive Luxury Fri 7 - 1900 From $15
Hannah Everingham Sun 9 - 1700 From $32
Princess Theatre https://theprincesstheatre.com.au/events Sky Ferreira Wed 5 Jun - 1930 From $75
~~The Animals - SOLD OUT Thu 6 Jun - 1900 From $79.90~~
DICE Fri 7 Jun - 1900 From $44.95 Selling Fast
Slumberjack Sat 8 Jun - 1900 From $40
Tivoli https://thetivoli.com.au/events
Two Another Thu 6 Jun - 1900
Elefant Traks Sat 8 Jun - 1900 From $85 Few Tickets Left
Rob Schneider Sun 9 June - 1800 From $79.90
Fortitude Music Hall https://thefortitude.com.au/event/
X-Club Sun 9 Jun - 1530 From $49.90
The Triffid https://thetriffid.com.au/upcoming-gigs/ THE OCEAN (GER), CAVE IN (USA), LLNN (DK) Wed 5 - 1900 From $80
TINARIWEN Thu 6 - 1930 From $75
SUNDOWNERS W/ DAVIDE DC FREE ENTRY Fri 7 - 1730
VOXNEON Fri 7 - 2000 From $35
HIGHER GRND PRESENTS: ALIX PEREZ Sat 8 - 1900 From $66
TEENY TINY STEVIES FAMILY FUN Sun 9 - 1000 From $41
ALY & FILA, BRYAN KEARNEY Sun 9 - 1500 From $88
SUNDAY GARDEN RESIDENCY HOLY SMOKES & FRIENDS Sun 9 - 1530 Free Entry Music from 3pm – 6pm All Ages Doggo friendly
The Zoo https://www.thezoo.com.au/ ~~Zoo Love~~ Sold Out ~~Fri 7 - 1800~~
UNLEASH THE ARCHERS - Debut Australian Tour 2024 Sat 8 Jun - 1900 From $67
Bar Italia Thu 6 - 1900 From $55
THE VIBE HOUSE Fri 7 - 1900 From $15
Black Bear Lodge https://blackbearlodge.ba Black Bear Lodge's 13th Birthday with Life on Earth, Squidgenini, Pipin, Simi Lacroix, Dublin Rose, Saik, Natrual Steps DJ's Sat 8 - 1800 From $24.50 or $30 OTD
Heavensgate 'The Ratking' Australian Tour Sun 9 - 1900 From $29
The Bearded Lady https://www.thebeardedlady.com.au/gigs Jimi Beavis + band in the front bar! Wed 5 - Music from 1930 Free entry
Liam Conor and Co: A Jazz Exploration - Vol. 5 Thu 6 - 1930 Entry $5
Gentle Ben & His Shimmering Hands Fri 7 - 1930 Entry $20
Arvo (1400): Harvey Blues and the Keitels Night: Secret Headliner Sat 8 - Music from 1400 Entry $10 OTD
Arvo: Gypsy Jazz Sundays Sun 9 - 1400 - 1600 Entry $10 (100% to band) Night: The Trams Sun 9 - 1900 - 2200 Entry $20 OTD
Diffuszed Studios https://www.diffuszedstudios.com/whats-on Freestyle Fridays Fri 7 - 2000 Entry $25 OTD
Hosting the OUTRA Breakfast, Sun 9 June From 330am ~~50 Tickets Only ~~ SOLD OUT
Lefty's Music Hall https://leftysmusichall.com.au/gig-guide/ Fri 7: Open from 1700 Jordan Hill from 1830 Smashing Bumpkins from 2200
Sat 8: Open from 1700 Graham Moes from 1830 Brother's Hill Band from 2200
The Cave-Inn https://www.thecaveinn.net/upcoming-events Close Enough for Country Sun, 1600 - 2100 Weekly country, blues, folk, rock, eclectic open mic night.
TomCat Bar https://www.tomcatbris.com.au/ https://www.facebook.com/TomcatBris/ The Press Live ft. Arvo Haze and Caravan Thu 6 - Doors @ 1900 Free
Friday - Free Music - Unknown Act
The Sunday Estate "London in October" Tour Sat 8 - 1900 From $11.90
On The Moss Sun 8 - 2000 Free?
The Brightside Brisbane https://www.thebrightsidebrisbane.com.au/events ACCESS ALL AREAS BAND COMP - HEAT 3 Wed 5 - 1900 FREE
Kevin Devine Thu 6 - 1900 From $50
Drunk Mums 'Beer Baby' Album Tour Fri 7 - 1900 From $29
OUTRA Sat 8 - 1500 From $58
WHAT TO EXPECT:
◾ Massive 12.5 hour open air day/night session ◾ Indoor afterparty hosted by Love Camp ◾ A unique house & techno experience ◾ State of the art custom visuals ◾ Interstate & local artists ◾ Live Performances ◾ Custom light show ◾ Inner city location ◾ Custom stage ◾ Pyrotechnics ◾ Laser show
LINEUP (Open air + indoor session):
◾️ JOHN BAPTISTE (Stone Seed - Mebourne) ◾️ Christopher Brooks ◾️ Christian Kerr ◾️ Lanecaster ◾️ Ross Kent ◾️ Paul Abad ◾️ Sequënce ◾️ Butterz ◾️ Wilma ◾️ Apró
Monkey Spanner 8 Piece Ska Band w/ Fiesta Fiasco & Seven of Ska Sat 8 - 1900 From $49
vaultboy (usa) Australian Tour 2024 Sat 8 - 1900 From $55
Felons Barrel Hall https://felonsbrewingco.com.au/blogs/whats-on Squidgenini, Dan Mumbles, Aidan Beiers & Keno Kowboy Fri 7 - 1930 FREE
10 Years of Birdman Randy & The Ivory Street Preachers Sat 8 - 2000 FREE
EL TIMBON - TIMBA, SONGO, and SALSA. Sun 1500 FREE
Doo-Bop Bar https://doo-bop.com.au/ Live music Tues - Sun night from 1900 Special Guests, free entry: Fri from 2100 - Superfry'd Sat from 2100 - Heidi Kaal Band
Ticketed events this week: Fri: Queensland Youth Orchestra Big Band Doors at 1800, Tickets $25
Sat: Andy Dashwood presents, “Songs that Cash taught me” Doors at 1800, Tickets $25
QPAC https://www.qpac.com.au/whats-on?dateFrom=2024-06-05&dateTo=2024-06-09 Beauty and the Beast - Closing 9 June! Tickets from $60
Axion Esti and Masterworks Wed 5 - 1900 From $89
Missy Higgins Thu 6 - 1930 From $140
The Lost Birds - QLD Symphony Orchestra Sat 8 and Sun 9 From $76
'Not My Body' Cozy House Party by Worm Girlz Sat 8 - 1400 - 1800 From $10 https://www.facebook.com/events/806714641049341/
Piano Wizard Andrew Farrel Chattanooga Jazz Bar https://chattanoogajazzbar.com 6 Jun - 1830
Brisbane Jazz Club https://brisbanejazzclub.com.au/programs/ Jazz Singer's Jazz Night Thu 6 - 1900 From $35
Valtozash Sun 9 - 1430 From $45 Adult https://www.facebook.com/events/788405020056539/
MISERY SWIFTNESS - SWEMO NIGHT THE WICKHAM https://tickets.oztix.com.au/outlet/event/8ec90197-be31-4503-84a2-7ae7cced7f17 Sat 8 - 2100 From $22
East's Leagues Club https://eastsleagues.com.au/whats-on/live-music Greg Wall Sat 8 - 1830 Buster's Duelling Piano's Sun 9 - 1500
JMI Live https://www.jazz.qld.edu.au/jmi-live/ Good Bait Trio Thu 6 - 1930 From $20
Foco Nuevo - Sitar, Latin American Fri 7 - 1800 Entry $15 OTD https://www.facebook.com/events/1000616735028096/
Mark Bono Archive Beer Boutique Fri 7 - 1900 Free https://www.facebook.com/events/1803736790111906/
Beach House CBD Sat 8 - 1730 Free https://www.facebook.com/events/454897097199092/
Finn McCool's https://finnmccools.com.au/brisbane/ Free Entry
Brooksi Fri 7 - 1730 https://www.facebook.com/events/465846455891835/
Rob Black Sat 8 - 1730 https://www.facebook.com/events/475295811691507/
Tales of Strangers Sun 9 - 1730 https://www.facebook.com/events/1265902784384652/
Friday Croonin w Tony Dee EclecTea, Brighton Fri 7 - 1700 https://www.facebook.com/events/727141275848512/
Tracey Hammell Hope and Anchor Sun 9 - 1500 Free https://www.facebook.com/events/3473622522930207/
Club Southside (Gambling Content Warning) https://www.clubsouthside.com.au/whats-on Mick Evans Fri 7 - 1800 https://www.facebook.com/events/392942680396689/
Paul Kerin Sat 8 - 1800 https://www.facebook.com/events/465846455891835/
Jazz on the Street ft. The Liars The Eclectic Mix Fri 7 - 1800 https://www.facebook.com/events/465169502629875/
The DangerMen, The Prehistorics, 7ft Sooks PFR Lounge Fr 7 - 1900 Entry $15 OTD https://www.facebook.com/events/797314425656798/
Kirtan with Friends ft. Shivam Rath SOBA West End Sat 1800 From $15 https://www.facebook.com/events/901946745019599/
BrizWest Ensembles Presents: Soundtracks Rainworth State School - Bardon Sun 9 - 1400 Entry Gold Coin https://www.facebook.com/events/1559420954995300/
Cardigan Bar Sandgate https://cardiganbar.com.au/shows
Thu 6 1900 - Open Mic Fri 7 1930 - Danny Jazz and Friends Sat 8 1500 - Traditional Irish & Popular Folk Music with Blarney Stone Sun 9 1600 - Asleep at the Reel

See you next week!

MrBeast can fill giant stadiums and launch 8-figure candy companies on demand. His popularity is astounding.
Recently, I listened to the brilliant marketer Phill Agnew (from The Nudge podcast) being interviewed on the Creator Science podcast. The episode focused on how MrBeast’s near-academic understanding of audience psychology is the key to his success.
MrBeast excels at getting you to click on his content (increasing his click-through rate) and keeping you engaged (increasing his retention rate). He uses irresistible thumbnails and headlines to draw viewers in.
I watched 8 hours of his content. Building upon Phil Agnew’s insights, I identified 7 psychological effects and biases MrBeast consistently uses to create headlines that drive massive engagement. Even those who are against "clickbait" can benefit from understanding why certain content attracts clicks over others. After all, if you don’t get the click, it doesn’t matter how good your content is.

1. Novelty Effect

• MrBeast Headline: “I Put 100 Million Orbeez In My Friend's Backyard”
  
• He presents something so extraordinary that viewers can’t help but click to learn more. The brain's reward system is engaged by new experiences. You don't need 100 million Orbeez; just add a unique angle or unusual character to your headlines.
  

1. Costly Signaling

• MrBeast Headline: "Last To Leave $800,000 Island Keeps It"
  
• By showcasing significant investments of time and money, MrBeast signals that his content is valuable. High stakes make content seem more worthwhile. Examples for subtle use: “I built a full-scale botanical garden in my backyard,” or “I used only vintage cookware from the 1800s for a week.”
  

1. Numerical Precision

• MrBeast Headline: “Going Through The Same Drive Thru 1,000 Times"
  
• Specific numbers make headlines more tangible and credible. Precise numbers catch the eye, pique curiosity, and add authenticity. “I went through the same drive-thru 1,000 times” is more impactful than “I went through the same drive-thru countless times.”
  

1. Contrast

• MrBeast Headline: "$1 vs $1,000,000 Hotel Room!"
  
• Stark contrasts attract attention and create curiosity gaps that compel viewers to click. Example: "From $200 to a $100M Empire - How A Small Town Accountant Took On Silicon Valley."
  

1. Nostalgia

• MrBeast Headline: "I Built Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!"
  
• Nostalgia evokes emotional comfort and connection. MrBeast taps into shared childhood memories, increasing clickability. Subtle example: “How this [old school cartoon] is shaping new age animation.”
  

1. Morbid Curiosity

• MrBeast Headline: "Surviving 24 Hours Straight In The Bermuda Triangle"
  
• People are drawn to the macabre and dangerous. This headline suggests a risky adventure, driving clicks. It's the tension between fear and curiosity at play.
  

1. FOMO And Urgency

• MrBeast Headline: "Last To Leave $800,000 Island Keeps It"
  
• Fear of missing out (FOMO) and urgency drive immediate action. Time-sensitive challenges and high-stakes competitions create a sense of urgency. Subtle example: “The Hidden Parisian Cafe To Visit Before The Crowds Do.”
  

Why This Matters
If you need people to engage with your content, learning these techniques is crucial. It’s not about creating clickbait, but about ensuring your high-quality content gets the attention it deserves. If content isn’t clicked, it won’t be consumed, no matter how brilliant it is. While “clickbait” content isn’t ideal, understanding these strategies can help generate attention in a noisy digital world.

F15 and I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'm barely eating anything anymore and it's not by choice. I currently live with my divorced and "disabled" mom (claims she is, doctors disagree) and 17yr unemployed brother. My mother is also unemployed and lives off child support, using the money for rent and utilities, but that is as far as it goes. Before school let out I could rely on the free lunches and snack packs on Fridays to sustain myself, but now with Summer, there is nothing to eat.
The amount of calories I'm getting ranges from 100-300 at most and nobody gives a shit. Everyone in my family is terribly unhealthy and me and my brother often live in filth . I'm willing to try anything at this point, I've tried making money and other things so I can eat, asking friends, food banks, gardens. My dad knows this but there is nothing he can do also being on the verge of bankruptcy and living in another state.
Can someone tell me what to do? I'm hungry. I can't say anything without getting in a world of trouble, and I just want food. Know any good food charities? Or anything else??

Sorry, but this might sting a little.
Alt Title: The Grizzly Gardener
Appearance: A big, pink ghost with white eyes, with a body wrapped in vines, a beehive engulfing half of his head, ghostly bees crawling on him, a white beekeeping suit with rips in the mask, a bee stinger as his right hand, bee wings on his back, and green honey comb on spreading across his body.
Anomaly Type: Ghost
Type: Love
Abilities: Gloom Bee Swarm, Gloom Comb Creation, Stinger Hand
Rank: 5
Haunt Spot: Newbury High School
Homeworld: The Hidden Side
Soul Artifact: Watering Can
Former Occupation: Beekeeper
Cause of Death: Death by Bee Venom
Bio: Klaus just adored his bees but couldn't stand the stings. It really didn't help that he was deathly allergic to bee venom.

Hi, looking for friends and people wanting to meet up irl. I’m very busy with school full time and work full time so I don’t have time to be on my phone all the time for an online thing. Not looking to send pics and for the love of god don’t send me dick pics. I work in healthcare and plan to move to Portland in 1 year. My hobbies are gaming, reading, gardening, hiking, and all things to do with animals. Always down for coffee or a drink, preferably with people local to me between the ages of 25-40.

Hi all,
I got so much great assistance from this board so I wanted to give back to the community. I (34F) travelled to Japan solo in May with a week on the ground (9 days including travel) from Australia, so no jet lag. I packed in a lot - I have a family with young kids at home and this was a once in a lifetime opportunity so wanted to make the most of it. For those not travelling solo the itinerary is likely less realistic, but worked great for me. I spent approximately 400,000yen for the 7 days including flights and accommodation, and approximately 100,000 of that was on souvenirs and gifts. I walked at least 30,000 steps each day (with the exception of day 1 which was around 25k + a 17km bike ride).
I tried posting to JapanTravel first but it keeps getting rejected by bots!
Day 1 - Arrive 5:30am Haneda, Tokyo (Fri)

• Flew into T1, but arrived a little early and had zero lines through immigration etc so decided to travel by free shuttle bus to T3 to pick up a Welcome Suica. This ended up being so worth it and making life easy.
• Train to Higashi-Ginza, drop off bags. Explore Tsukiji. I recommend Tsukiji Uogashi building for food rather than the markets themselves, significantly cheaper, you can take your meal to the rooftop.
• Coffee from Turret Coffee - a standout for coffee (latte) lovers).
• eBike tour by Compass bikes - I am not a huge fan of tours but this was great way to see a lot in a few hours and I really loved Fukagawa Fudou-dō temple which had a walkway inside that felt like it was designed by TeamLabs (no photos allowed unfortunately)
• Back to Higashi-Ginza, picked up my bags and went to check in to my hotel, Dormy Inn Ueno, which was perfectly located (I loved staying in this area).
• On to the Sumo Tournament for which I had purchased tickets through buysumotickets. I think my whole section had as they were all foreigners, haha! I loved this, a really different experience.
• Explored Ameyokocho before calling it a night.

Day 2 - Tokyo (Sat)

• Up bright and early at 3am. Went to the sento, still couldn't sleep after so took the first train of the day to Asakusa. Explored Senso-ji without crowds. Back to Ueno station where I purchased tickets for the shinkansen the next day. It looks like the line gets busy so this was a good idea to do early.
• Explored Ueno park, Nippori, Ueno by foot.
• Back to hotel to get ready for the day, and out around 8:30am.
• Train to Yoyohi where I got a coffee at Dimlight Espresso then walked through Yoyogi park/Meiji shrine area towards Takeshita St. By now it was around 10:30am and most shops online looked like they didn't open until 11am but most did seem open. I bought some socks at Tabio and then a Harajuku special crepe from Godiva on Meiji-Dori Ave (so good!).
• Walked up Cat St which I loved and was much less busy than the rest of Harajuku and Shibuya. Got some sweets from Number Sugar. On to Shibuya via Miyashita Park. Shopped throughout Shibuya, but it honestly wasn't my favourite as there was just so much choice and so many people. It didn't feel unique to me (ie could have been in any country).
• Train to Akihabara, which was also very busy but felt more unique. I loved Yellow Submarine where I got some board games that are made in Japan but had English instructions, and did some other light shopping for my boys.
• Back to my hotel to rest and eat some gyoza I got on my way from the train station, before heading out for a 7pm localised tour of Shinjuku. Again this was good, but I think limiting doing tours works best for me as I can't take the slow pace, haha!!

Day 3 - Matsumoto, Kiso, Tsumago

• I took the shinkansen to Nagano in gran class which was truly amazing and worth the additional cost. I had the carriage to myself so a personal attendant, meal, slippers included and comfy reclining chair. Then took a train from Nagano to Matsumoto.
• Explored Matsumoto Castle then did a tour at Ishii miso (this was OK, but a bit more of an explanation rather than tour) and visited the Art Museum (this was good for a quick visit even for someone with passing art interest).
• On to Kiso for lunch and to explore, loved the foot bath. Train to Nagiso, where I walked the Nakasendo to my minshuku in Tsumago, Daikichi. Tsumago was just lovely, the people living there are just a wonderful community. Daikichi was incredible. Had a wonderful dinner and breakfast and highly recommend this sort of accommodation.

Day 4 - Tsumago, Magome, Osaka

• Left at 7.30am after breakfast as the weather was not great and more rain was planned as the day progressed. Loved the tea house on the way to Magome. Got in to Magome around 10am, grabbed a coffee from Hillbilly coffee and walked to Chuodo Magome to get a bus as it was a better schedule than the bus from Magome to Nakatsugawa. I don't recommend this as it was a roadhouse with only locals and felt a bit awkward haha. But, it all worked well and was actually a really comfortable trip to Nagoya.
• I decided to take the slower Kintetsu Ltd Express from Nagoya to Osaka-Namba, as it was direct, and I could book a premium seat again which was a great place to rest on a rainy day. The premium seat on the Hinotori was incredible comfy (perhaps more so than the shinkansen?) and had a seat warmer function.
• Explored Kuromon market, Sennichimae Doguyasuji for kitchenware, Ota St, DenDen Town, Dotonbori. Took two trains to my hotel in Kyoto, Hotel Aru. Again this was a fab hotel in a really great location, and the room was much nicer and newer than the Dormy Inn (although no sento).
• Did some washing and crashed.

Day 5 - Kyoto in the rain

• There was a Typhoon in the Philippines today which brought with it significant rain. I had originally planned Nara but with flooding and rain inundation warnings thought I would stick close to my hotel instead.
• Walked to Sentido for a coffee, then on to Kyoto Gyoen National Garden and the Kyoto Imperial Palace. This wasn't in my original itinerary but I really enjoyed it and the audio guide was really well done (and all free!). Another coffee in School Bus Coffee Stop.
• Spent the rest of the day exploring the undercover shopping streets, department stores, Nishiki markets. Loved the Daimaru basement food court, the staff here were especially polite with every single one bowing and greeting me as I walked past.
• Back to my hotel to dry off my feet after they had been wet for the past 14 hrs. The rain had finally eased off so I then headed out at night to explore Yasaka shrine and Gion. I saw a Maiko (who unfortunately looked quite distressed, clearly still getting harassed by tourists!).

Day 6 - Kyoto

• Today I made up for lost time and fit in a LOT. More than I would like realistically, I would have loved more time in Uji and Nara, I would definitely like to spend more time in that region if/when I return to Japan.
• Train to Fushimi Inari, at 5:30am it was still quiet, at 6:30am it was already getting busy. I made the call at the halfway lookout point that I could probably squeeze Nara in if I left then, and tbh Fushimi Inari wasn't a standout for me.
• Grabbed some breakfast at the konbini while I waited for a train to Nara. I loved Nara. Not so much the deer, or Todai-ji (both were good) but the forest beyond and places like Todaiji Nigatsudo, Kasuga Taisha. I loved taking paths where there were no other tourists.
• On to Uji - bought several bags of matcha and sencha, some matcha treats, explored Byodo-in and had a matcha parfait at Tsuen overlooking the river. I would have loved to stay here longer but had a tour booking for 2pm on the other side of Kyoto (but an easy trip due to being on the same line)
• 2pm tour at Matsui sake, a tiny sake house in Kyoto. The tour was great and I loved their anime branding and innovative tasting system.
• The weather today was SO amazing and I really loved this area (Sakyo ward) so hired a bike from emusica edmachiyanagi and travelled north along Kamo River, exploring some temples along the way, having something to eat by the river. Rode to Circus Coffee which had the most lovely staff and I loved the branding. Explored some shopping streets, then on to Philosophers Path and returned the bike around 7:30pm.
• Got a massage at ボディケアボディ 三条河原町店 which was so cheap and so good. Had a 40 min wait so I went to Donki and bought a suitcase for all my extra shopping (had travelled carry-on only). After my massage I packed and crashed.

Day 7 - Kyoto, Inuyama

• Got up and took the train to Kiyomizu (could have walked but my legs were sore!), then walked up to Kiyomizu-dera. I wasn't sure if I would like it as I was disappointed with Fushimi Inari but it was simply spectacular.
• Explored Higashiyama then enjoyed a zen meditation session at Ryosoku-in. This was a great experience!
• Back to my hotel to change and check out then lunch at Roan Kikunoi, my Michelin restaurant (**) for the trip and a wonderful meal and experience.
• Went and grabbed my bags from the hotel, taxi to train station, shinkansen to Nagoya and train to Inuyama.
• Inuyama was a gorgeous little town. Nagoya has a lot less foreign visitors, and there were few signs, train announcements etc in English. I actually didn't see a non-Asian person my whole time in Nagoya (including in the airport the next day). The castle here was gorgeous and I loved the town, a great slower pace to end my trip.

Day 8 - Chubu airport

• There is a train without changes to chubu airport from Inuyama. Unfortunately, I had miscalculated my remaining yen so was 200 yen short for the limited express, so had to take the commuter which meant standing for 1 hr in a crowded train. The ltd express would have been better but I didn't want to get out 10,000 yen just for the train and I wasn't sure whether I could use card at the airport for fare adjustment (I could have, it turned out).
• The airport was super clean and easy and not too busy. I had used points to fly SQ business which was a luxurious end to a truly incredible trip.

Feel free to reach out with any questions!

Hi all,
I got so much great assistance from this board so I wanted to give back to the community. I (34F) travelled to Japan solo in May with a week on the ground (9 days including travel) from Australia, so no jet lag. I packed in a lot - I have a family with young kids at home and this was a once in a lifetime opportunity so wanted to make the most of it. For those not travelling solo the itinerary is likely less realistic, but worked great for me. I spent approximately 400,000yen for the 7 days including flights and accommodation, and approximately 100,000 of that was on souvenirs and gifts. I walked at least 30,000 steps each day (with the exception of day 1 which was around 25k + a 17km bike ride).
Day 1 - Arrive 5:30am Haneda, Tokyo (Fri)

• Flew into T1, but arrived a little early and had zero lines through immigration etc so decided to travel by free shuttle bus to T3 to pick up a Welcome Suica. This ended up being so worth it and making life easy.
• Train to Higashi-Ginza, drop off bags. Explore Tsukiji. I recommend Tsukiji Uogashi building for food rather than the markets themselves, significantly cheaper, you can take your meal to the rooftop.
• Coffee from Turret Coffee - a standout for coffee (latte) lovers).
• eBike tour by Compass bikes - I am not a huge fan of tours but this was great way to see a lot in a few hours and I really loved Fukagawa Fudou-dō temple which had a walkway inside that felt like it was designed by TeamLabs (no photos allowed unfortunately)
• Back to Higashi-Ginza, picked up my bags and went to check in to my hotel, Dormy Inn Ueno, which was perfectly located (I loved staying in this area).
• On to the Sumo Tournament for which I had purchased tickets through buysumotickets. I think my whole section had as they were all foreigners, haha! I loved this, a really different experience.
• Explored Ameyokocho before calling it a night.

Day 2 - Tokyo (Sat)

• Up bright and early at 3am. Went to the sento, still couldn't sleep after so took the first train of the day to Asakusa. Explored Senso-ji without crowds. Back to Ueno station where I purchased tickets for the shinkansen the next day. It looks like the line gets busy so this was a good idea to do early.
• Explored Ueno park, Nippori, Ueno by foot.
• Back to hotel to get ready for the day, and out around 8:30am.
• Train to Yoyohi where I got a coffee at Dimlight Espresso then walked through Yoyogi park/Meiji shrine area towards Takeshita St. By now it was around 10:30am and most shops online looked like they didn't open until 11am but most did seem open. I bought some socks at Tabio and then a Harajuku special crepe from Godiva on Meiji-Dori Ave (so good!).
• Walked up Cat St which I loved and was much less busy than the rest of Harajuku and Shibuya. Got some sweets from Number Sugar. On to Shibuya via Miyashita Park. Shopped throughout Shibuya, but it honestly wasn't my favourite as there was just so much choice and so many people. It didn't feel unique to me (ie could have been in any country).
• Train to Akihabara, which was also very busy but felt more unique. I loved Yellow Submarine where I got some board games that are made in Japan but had English instructions, and did some other light shopping for my boys.
• Back to my hotel to rest and eat some gyoza I got on my way from the train station, before heading out for a 7pm localised tour of Shinjuku. Again this was good, but I think limiting doing tours works best for me as I can't take the slow pace, haha!!

Day 3 - Matsumoto, Kiso, Tsumago

• I took the shinkansen to Nagano in gran class which was truly amazing and worth the additional cost. I had the carriage to myself so a personal attendant, meal, slippers included and comfy reclining chair. Then took a train from Nagano to Matsumoto.
• Explored Matsumoto Castle then did a tour at Ishii miso (this was OK, but a bit more of an explanation rather than tour) and visited the Art Museum (this was good for a quick visit even for someone with passing art interest).
• On to Kiso for lunch and to explore, loved the foot bath. Train to Nagiso, where I walked the Nakasendo to my minshuku in Tsumago, Daikichi. Tsumago was just lovely, the people living there are just a wonderful community. Daikichi was incredible. Had a wonderful dinner and breakfast and highly recommend this sort of accommodation.

Day 4 - Tsumago, Magome, Osaka

• Left at 7.30am after breakfast as the weather was not great and more rain was planned as the day progressed. Loved the tea house on the way to Magome. Got in to Magome around 10am, grabbed a coffee from Hillbilly coffee and walked to Chuodo Magome to get a bus as it was a better schedule than the bus from Magome to Nakatsugawa. I don't recommend this as it was a roadhouse with only locals and felt a bit awkward haha. But, it all worked well and was actually a really comfortable trip to Nagoya.
• I decided to take the slower Kintetsu Ltd Express from Nagoya to Osaka-Namba, as it was direct, and I could book a premium seat again which was a great place to rest on a rainy day. The premium seat on the Hinotori was incredible comfy (perhaps more so than the shinkansen?) and had a seat warmer function.
• Explored Kuromon market, Sennichimae Doguyasuji for kitchenware, Ota St, DenDen Town, Dotonbori. Took two trains to my hotel in Kyoto, Hotel Aru. Again this was a fab hotel in a really great location, and the room was much nicer and newer than the Dormy Inn (although no sento).
• Did some washing and crashed.

Day 5 - Kyoto in the rain

• There was a Typhoon in the Philippines today which brought with it significant rain. I had originally planned Nara but with flooding and rain inundation warnings thought I would stick close to my hotel instead.
• Walked to Sentido for a coffee, then on to Kyoto Gyoen National Garden and the Kyoto Imperial Palace. This wasn't in my original itinerary but I really enjoyed it and the audio guide was really well done (and all free!). Another coffee in School Bus Coffee Stop.
• Spent the rest of the day exploring the undercover shopping streets, department stores, Nishiki markets. Loved the Daimaru basement food court, the staff here were especially polite with every single one bowing and greeting me as I walked past.
• Back to my hotel to dry off my feet after they had been wet for the past 14 hrs. The rain had finally eased off so I then headed out at night to explore Yasaka shrine and Gion. I saw a Maiko (who unfortunately looked quite distressed, clearly still getting harassed by tourists!).

Day 6 - Kyoto

• Today I made up for lost time and fit in a LOT. More than I would like realistically, I would have loved more time in Uji and Nara, I would definitely like to spend more time in that region if/when I return to Japan.
• Train to Fushimi Inari, at 5:30am it was still quiet, at 6:30am it was already getting busy. I made the call at the halfway lookout point that I could probably squeeze Nara in if I left then, and tbh Fushimi Inari wasn't a standout for me.
• Grabbed some breakfast at the konbini while I waited for a train to Nara. I loved Nara. Not so much the deer, or Todai-ji (both were good) but the forest beyond and places like Todaiji Nigatsudo, Kasuga Taisha. I loved taking paths where there were no other tourists.
• On to Uji - bought several bags of matcha and sencha, some matcha treats, explored Byodo-in and had a matcha parfait at Tsuen overlooking the river. I would have loved to stay here longer but had a tour booking for 2pm on the other side of Kyoto (but an easy trip due to being on the same line)
• 2pm tour at Matsui sake, a tiny sake house in Kyoto. The tour was great and I loved their anime branding and innovative tasting system.
• The weather today was SO amazing and I really loved this area (Sakyo ward) so hired a bike from emusica edmachiyanagi and travelled north along Kamo River, exploring some temples along the way, having something to eat by the river. Rode to Circus Coffee which had the most lovely staff and I loved the branding. Explored some shopping streets, then on to Philosophers Path and returned the bike around 7:30pm.
• Got a massage at ボディケアボディ 三条河原町店 which was so cheap and so good. Had a 40 min wait so I went to Donki and bought a suitcase for all my extra shopping (had travelled carry-on only). After my massage I packed and crashed.

Day 7 - Kyoto, Inuyama

• Got up and took the train to Kiyomizu (could have walked but my legs were sore!), then walked up to Kiyomizu-dera. I wasn't sure if I would like it as I was disappointed with Fushimi Inari but it was simply spectacular.
• Explored Higashiyama then enjoyed a zen meditation session at Ryosoku-in. This was a great experience!
• Back to my hotel to change and check out then lunch at Roan Kikunoi, my Michelin restaurant (**) for the trip and a wonderful meal and experience.
• Went and grabbed my bags from the hotel, taxi to train station, shinkansen to Nagoya and train to Inuyama.
• Inuyama was a gorgeous little town. Nagoya has a lot less foreign visitors, and there were few signs, train announcements etc in English. I actually didn't see a non-Asian person my whole time in Nagoya (including in the airport the next day). The castle here was gorgeous and I loved the town, a great slower pace to end my trip.

Day 8 - Chubu airport

• There is a train without changes to chubu airport from Inuyama. Unfortunately, I had miscalculated my remaining yen so was 200 yen short for the limited express, so had to take the commuter which meant standing for 1 hr in a crowded train. The ltd express would have been better but I didn't want to get out 10,000 yen just for the train and I wasn't sure whether I could use card at the airport for fare adjustment (I could have, it turned out).
• The airport was super clean and easy and not too busy. I had used points to fly SQ business which was a luxurious end to a truly incredible trip.

Feel free to reach out with any questions!

Over the last 3 months I have been undergoing the process of an autism assessment, and reassessment for borderline personality disorder. This came about after 6+ years of research on autism and the misdiagnosis of BPD in autistic AFAB people, which I became fairly certain was the case for me as well. Assessments are expensive, and I was very fortunate to be able to access one for free which I recognize is a huge privilege.
The reason I decided to finally undergo this process was for a few reasons. One being, I've always known something was different or "wrong" with me...but that my DX of depression, anxiety, and BPD didn't quite fit me. None of the therapies or treatments I've undergone have ever really worked for me, and I thought I was just broken or untreatable. I just knew that I couldn't handle life the same way my peers seemed to be able to, and I struggled to connect with people and maintain those connections to the point where I would end up completely burnt out and have to isolate for months. Nor could I handle working full time, lest I end up in crisis. It made me feel subhuman. Another reason being, if I did decide that I wanted to to back to school or work I would need accommodations that were protected.
But really, I just wanted to know for sure if I was autistic. From all of my research, everything seemed to fit and make sense. It was like I had all the puzzle pieces but didn't know how to put them together until I looked at it through the lens of neurodiversity. But unless I heard it from a professional I would always be second guessing myself and feeling like my struggles aren't valid.
The process itself was made very comfortable by the psychiatrist I was seeing. She was very well informed on the updated information on autism and was very patient and thorough. The first appointment was about an hour and a half, then I did the written portion/scales at home, and yesterday I had my final in person appointment. We went over my test results, and delved deeper into my developmental years up until adulthood. The results? I am not a broken neurotypical, I am a whole neurodivergent/autistic person doing the best they can. I also do not have BPD, the symptoms I displayed were actually a manifestation of my autism. I cried when she told me this, because I've been fighting for a reassessment for so long but kept being told it was "unlikely" to be misdiagnosed and I should just accept it. Finally, I felt listened to and validated.
I feel like I can finally accept myself and be kinder with my inner dialogue. I've been awfully cruel to myself for falling short in so many ways and struggling so much with things that 'should' be easy. I was holding myself to standards that I couldn't maintain and when I couldn't maintain them I would berate myself. I'm honestly very happy to finally know for sure, and feel like I can exist within the autism community without feeling like a fraud or like I'm taking up space that isn't mine.
Thank you for listening, I appreciate each one of you. This is my first post here even though I've lurked for quite some time.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I am 30 years old, and AFAB but identify as non-binary. This diagnosis has been a long time coming.

Hi! I'm finally making the leap for an intro post.
As the post says, I'm 23 but with a fair bit of life experience, I've been working/out of school for much longer that I'd admit outside of a chat, but I did get my GED at 16 and had the fortune of traveling all over the US.
I've lived and worked in a few other countries too bsck when I taught English. I came back to the US soon to be 3 years ago now and I'm ready to settle a bit.
I bought a house in a major city in Texas but I'm fully willing to relocate if it gets me out of this heat.
I'm 6 feet tall, white passing (my dad is hispanic) with wavy black hair. I'm very muscular but I have more fat than I'd like to so I'm working on that more than building muscle now.
I work from home as a telemarketer, maybe not the most impressive job buuut I couldn't resist the pay they offered.
As far as hobbies... I collect antique books, cook whenever I have time, and I recently started my garden.
Tell us a bit about your Christian journey: I was an athiest from a pretty early age. I studied several major religions pretty deeply, Islam (salafism, hanafism) hinduism, and finally Christianity. I really think it helped me be firm in my beliefs, I know exactly why I believe as I do now. I converted around the age of 14 and got baptised at 18.
I'm open to anybody under the Christian umbrella who has a love of truth above all, believes in the service of others, and doesn't use religion as a bludgeon against nonbelievers. Essentially, the greatest commandment is this: love thy neighbor as thyself.
Other than that I'm open to anybody who can show a respect and kindness toward those around them and doesn't mind the things about me that may be a dealbreaker for some people. I'm not in contact with most of my family and if I have any kids (I'd like to in the next few years) they would be adopted/foster kids. I fully understand if that's undesirable to some people and there will never be any hard feelings about that.
Any adults under 35 are welcome to message me!
Would you be willing to do long distance/relocate?
I mentioned relocation above, but I'm ok with long distance with me being the person making the trip to see you as long as you'd be willing to relocate in the future if you live in a place where I would have trouble working as profitably as I do now.

First off, I'm a new'ish gardener and am hoping to learn from someone who has done no till at scale. I have 5+ acres and started with low, no-till raised beds (cardboard, soil, compost). But, since I have lots of space and decent soil, it didn't make sense to build a full acre of raised beds, so I created rows by tilling, solarizing the sod and mounding them by hand. Sweaty stuff, but no need for gym time anymore at least!
I understand the benefits of no till and want to preserve my soil structure. However, the logistics of bringing in an acre worth of cardboard and inches of soil seems... impractical? Given an acre is ~44,000 sqft, adding 4" of mulch would be ~15,000 cubic feet of material or 540(!) yards of material. Is my math wrong or is there another no-till method for large areas that doesn't require a convoy of trucks to be brought in? Obviously, I went the till route as I couldn't see a practical way out, but as I expand over the years it would be nice to know.
Now the main question: does no-till regard tilling cover crop / green manure as "tilling" or is tilling only deep tilling? I've seen people say never to disturb the soil and just add more on top, while others say upper level tilling doesn't really count.
On top of that, are any of you no tillers trying to produce your own mulch or compost at scale to add to your gardens? If so, how? I can only imagine dedicated portion of land solely for greens for the compost. From my understanding, with conventional, there would be a rotation of plots so one area could be clover or other nitrogen affixing plants that could be tilled under and used later.
To make it clear, I'm definitely against old school ag practices that ruin the land, so I'm trying to gain knowledge of what is best vs managing a reasonable workload. And yes, a few acres for a beginning gardener is probably a bit to chew off, but it does force me to adapt practical solutions. Case in point, I used to weed by hand but realize that's not realistic now, so a combination of hay, tarps, row covers, weed torch and reasonable herbicides make it manageable. I had a half acre covered with Himalayan blackberry which I also tried to dig out because "herbicide = bad". After about a week of that, I skipped the herbicide and went straight for an excavator rental because they didn't have a nuclear bomb available on Amazon. Yeah, 5 tons of metal compresses the soil and disturbed the area, but a few days later the problem is solved.
Anyhow, would love to hear any other advice or best practices from people running farms or big gardens!

Once I watched a teacher instruct teenagers to chant the word “pots.” They shouted, “Pots, pots, pots, pots, pots.”
Then the teacher asked, “What do you do at a green light?”
“Stop!” everyone shouted.
The teacher laughed and said, “That’s why there are so many accidents with teenage drivers.”
The teacher then pointed out that mindlessly chanting, “pots, pots, pots” (which is “stop” spelled backward) had primed the students to say “stop,” even though it was obviously the wrong answer. If the students had taken time to think, they would have said something different. He then asked, “Are you just chanting in your prayers, or do you really stop to think about what you are saying?”
This question gave me pause. At times I have found myself slipping into prayer routines where I just say the same things and don’t put effort into meaningful prayer. As I pondered on how I could improve the quality of my prayers, I decided to see how people prayed in the Book of Mormon. I was surprised to find that in addition to teaching about prayer, the Book of Mormon also gives many examples of prayer.
I found several patterns as I studied the prayers offered in the Book of Mormon. And as I’ve reflected on my own experiences with prayer, I have realized that my most powerful prayers have followed these same patterns. For me, five Book of Mormon patterns of prayer have been especially impressive. Implementing these patterns can change the way we pray and consequently change our lives.

Go to a Private Place to Pray

One pattern that consistently appears in the Book of Mormon is that people often go to a private place to pray. We read:
“I arose and went up into the mountain, and cried unto the Lord” (1 Nephi 17:7, emphasis added).
“[Nephi] went out and bowed himself down upon the earth, and cried mightily to his God in behalf of his people” (3 Nephi 1:11, emphasis added).
“The brother of Jared … went forth unto the mount … and cried again unto the Lord” (Ether 3:1, emphasis added).
When I was in my early 20s, I had to make an important decision about graduate school. I found a secluded place in nature and poured out my heart in prayer. I can still remember the powerful answers that came. There was something about going to a private place to pray that made all the difference. Praying and listening are possible anywhere, but they are best done where one can be alone, such as in a quiet room of one’s house.

Kneel to Pray

Often when people pray in the Book of Mormon, it explicitly states that they kneel or bow as they pray. Consider these three examples:
“[Moroni] bowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren” (Alma 46:13, emphasis added).
“Nephi had bowed himself upon the tower which was in his garden” (Helaman 7:10, emphasis added).
“They knelt again and prayed to the Father in the name of Jesus” (3 Nephi 19:8, emphasis added).
I pointed out this pattern in a class I was teaching and invited class members to consider kneeling to pray. A few days later, a student wrote me a note that said, “I have been kneeling for the first time and my prayers have been a ton better.” While there are times that we will not be able to kneel as we pray, in many instances we can. As President Thomas S. Monson stated, “Kneel down to pray.”

Pray Vocally

Another pattern of prayer that appears throughout the Book of Mormon is people praying out loud. One of the definitions of the word “cry” is “to utter a loud voice, by way of earnest request of prayer.” Consider these examples of vocal prayer:
“My soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer … ; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens” (Enos 1:4, emphasis added).
“The king did bow down before the Lord, upon his knees … and cried mightily, saying: O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; … Wilt thou make thyself known unto me” (Alma 22:17–18, emphasis added).
“[Alma] lifted up his voice to heaven, and cried, saying: O, how long, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that thy servants shall dwell here below in the flesh, to behold such gross wickedness?” (Alma 31:26, emphasis added).
Joseph Smith’s First Vision burst upon him after his first vocal prayer (see Joseph Smith—History 1:14).
As I thought about my prayers, I realized that the majority of them were silent prayers. Unfortunately, my mind tends to wander, and these silent prayers often turned into rambling thoughts not particularly related to prayer. As I began praying vocally, I found that I was able to concentrate more on what I was saying, and my prayers were more meaningful. Perhaps this is part of the reason President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) said, “I hope that not too many of our prayers are silent, even though when we cannot pray vocally, it is good to offer a silent prayer in our hearts and in our minds.”

Express Gratitude

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared an experience of when some loved ones had experienced a tragedy. That night, he and Sister Bednar wanted to pray for those who were suffering; however, a General Authority visiting their home, not aware of this tragedy, invited Sister Bednar to express only gratitude in her prayer. She did so. Elder Bednar recounted, “Our family learned from that experience a great lesson about the power of thankfulness in meaningful prayer.” This same pattern of expressing gratitude in prayer is found in the Book or Mormon. We read:
“Yea, and in the valley of Alma they poured out their thanks to God” (Mosiah 24:21, emphasis added).
“Alma ate bread and was filled; and he blessed Amulek and his house, and he gave thanks unto God” (Alma 8:22, emphasis added).
“The brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long” (Ether 6:9, emphasis added).
In each of the above situations there was much that the people could have complained about. Alma and his people were not yet completely safe from the Lamanites, Alma had recently been persecuted by the people of Ammonihah, and the Jaredites were stuck on barges for almost an entire year. Yet they still focused on gratitude.

Pray for Others

While I sometimes have a tendency in my prayers to focus on my own needs, several people in the Book of Mormon show through their example the importance of praying for others. We read:
“Laman and Lemuel would not hearken unto my words; and being grieved because of the hardness of their hearts I cried unto the Lord for them” (1 Nephi 2:18, emphasis added).
“They began to fast, and to pray to the Lord their God that he would open the mouth of Alma, that he might speak, and also that his limbs might receive their strength” (Mosiah 27:22, emphasis added).
“My soul had been poured out in prayer unto my God all the day long for them” (Mormon 3:12, emphasis added).
Focusing on praying for others was at first a little difficult for me to apply in my life. I had become accustomed to focusing on my needs during prayer. As I have worked to more frequently pray for others, I have felt that my prayers are more meaningful. I feel a deeper connection with God when I pray for others.

The Savior Set the Example

The Savior’s prayers in the Book of Mormon include all of these five patterns:
“And it came to pass that Jesus departed out of the midst of them, and went a little way off from them and bowed himself to the earth, and he said:
Father, I thank thee that thou hast given the Holy Ghost unto these whom I have chosen; and it is because of their belief in me that I have chosen them out of the world. …
“And now Father, I pray unto thee for them” (3 Nephi 19:19–20, 23, emphasis added).
The teacher who had his students chant “pots” later had them chant the word “roast.” After the students repeated it several times, the teacher asked, “What do you put in a toaster?”
Some students said, “toast,” but many paused to think and correctly said, “bread.” The teacher commended those who had stopped to think about what they were saying.
I have found that implementing these five patterns—going to a private place to pray, kneeling, praying vocally, expressing gratitude, and praying for others—has helped me to pause and ponder on what I say in my prayers and has made the experience more meaningful. The Book of Mormon teaches other patterns of prayer as well, including being consistent and giving sufficient time to prayer and meditation. As we search the Book of Mormon and implement the patterns of prayer it teaches, we will reap great blessings in our lives and in our families.
By John Hilton III. Published in The Ensign Magazine, October 2012. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2012/10/patterns-of-prayer-in-the-book-of-mormon?lang=eng

My daughter (6) has come home from school yesterday suddenly decided she wants us to plant lots of sunflowers this weekend. I popped into the garden center on the way home from work today and all the packets said Plant from March to may.... is it too late in the season if we do it this Sunday? Can I Plant them straight out doors or do I need to buy pots and grow them in the house first?
I'm not green fingered at all... please help