Meaningful sayins

Current Rankings: Extreme Girls, Sisters, Tennis Rivals, Ice Dancers, Father & Son, Goths, Police Cadets, Party Dudes, Fashion Bloggers, Villains, Jocks, Pranksters, Bulldogs, Rockers, Best Friends
Episode 10: New Beijinging
"Last time on The Ridonculous Race. We struck emotional gold in Dubai.”
“Carrie gave up on the game of love, the Bulldogs grinded each others’ rusty gears. And Kelly finally gave Taylor a timeout, which cost them the race. But hey, a healthy relationship with your daughter's worth a million bucks. Not! And last but not least, a new alliance was born.”
“Is it more than just an alliance? Your guess is as good as mine. But mine matters more because I'm on TV. This is the Ridonculous Race!"
(Roll the Credits)
Don was shown approaching the first team. "All right. It's time to say "bye-bye" to Dubai. Extreme Girls, you're up first. Ready? Go!"
The Extreme Girls ran to the Don Box, and received their tip. "Find your next tip at the world famous Bird's Nest Stadium,” France read the tip. “Never heard of it."
"Well it's right here in Beijing, China," Don said. "Home to twenty-five million people. Oddly enough, we'll see none of them."
Along with the Extreme Girls, the Sisters, Tennis Rivals, Ice Dancers, Father & Son, Goths, Police Cadets, Party Dudes, Fashion Bloggers, and Villains all got their tips and raced to the airport.
"The first eight teams grab their travel tips, taxis, and tickets, and get seats on the first flight to Beijing. The stragglers on flight two have an extra hour to talk strategy," Don narrated as the footage jumped to the second flight in the air.
Carrie sat beside Devin, who was asleep in the window seat. "Watching Devin sleep is so awesome. He sometimes mumbles the sweetest things," Carrie told the camera.
"Rainbow zebras took my wallet…" Devin mumbled.
Carrie chuckled awkwardly. "I said sometimes."
Rock was walking down the aisle, and caught sight of an opened bag of airplane peanuts on Carrie's tray.
"Hey Carrie," Rock asked Carrie in a hushed whisper, "since Dev's snoozing, I got to know. You going to make a move on that?" he pointed to the peanuts.
"What?" Carrie glanced at Devin, not noticing that Rock was actually talking about the peanuts before turning to Rock again. "Oh, well, Devin and I are friends."
"I know, but this opportunity isn't going to last forever," Rock said.
Carrie gasped, and grasped Rock's arm as he tried to reach for the peanuts. "That's what I keep thinking! The whole reason I entered this race was to show him we had a connection! Something special"
Outside Interview: Rock
Rock groaned. "I just wanted the peanuts."
Outside Interview: Carrie
Carrie sighed. "Oh, why didn't I just tell him I love him in Hawaii? But... when I force myself to face it, I'd rather let him have a life with Shelley than not be in my life at all."
Interviews End
Carrie watched Devin shift in his sleep, and he snapped awake.
"Oh, good. You're okay," Devin breathed in and out. "I had a dream that you and I lived in a treehouse and it caught fire and-"
"Just you and me? Living together?" Carrie questioned, a smile replacing her sad frown.
Devin smiled at her. "Yeah, well, uh, I was a three-headed tiger," Carrie quickly became confused, "and you were a monkey in a tuxedo, but it was you. Weird." He went back to sleep, not noticing her smile growing bigger.
"We… lived… together…" Carrie repeated before the plane slightly shook from Carrie squealing in delight.
A few seats back from the Best Friends, Spud sat listening to his headphones. Rock returned to his partner, and said, "I know our strategy was 'slow and steady', but-"
"Isn't our strategy to 'party on!'?" Spud questioned.
Rock imitated a game show's wrong answer buzzer and replied, "No, but we need a new strategy anyway so-"
"How about 'party on harder!'?" Spud offered.
"Spud, we gotta go faster, like- pshew!" Rock told him, mimicking a shooting bullet.
"Okay," Spud got out of his seat and approached the front of the plane, knocking Rock down on his butt in the process, "I'll tell the pilot."
"No, Spud! I meant- aw man!" Rock tried to stop him as he got back to his feet, eventually facepalming.
Outside Interview: Rockers
"I'm starting to think, like, maybe there's such thing as too easygoing," Rock thought out loud while Spud was listening to his headphones. "I got to find a way to motivate this guy."
Interview Ends
As Tom was reading a magazine, Jen sat on her knees and leaned over the back of her seat to see that Tammy was cleaning her ocarina while sitting next to a sleeping and snoring oxygen masked Max.
"So," Jen started to say, "great minds think alike?"
Tammy smiled as she glanced at her sleeping partner before looking back up at Jen. "I’m a heavy snorer myself, but Max is much worse than me, and I’m telling you because he can’t hear me."
The first flight landed in Beijing, and the teams boarded a bus that would take them to the Bird's Nest.
"Thanks for helping us with the windows yesterday," Kitty thanked the Extreme Girls.
"No problem," Paris smiled.
"Just don't expect us to cater to you. We have an alliance, but it's still a competition," Emma reminded them.
World Interview: Extreme Girls
"I guess we could allow the Sisters to take first this time around," France said with a smile.
"If it means getting them to trust us more in Kitty’s case and distrust us less in Emma’s, then sure," Paris agreed.
World Interview: Sisters
"Are you still upset about not winning the last challenge?" Kitty asked her sister.
"I am, but Paris and France helped us stay in the race," Emma responded.
"And Paris using her hair to wipe the windows was pretty unique," Kitty added. "I’d like to get to know more about them and their crazy stunts."
"You can be all buddy-buddy with them, but not me," Emma muttered. "Winning comes first."
Interviews End
The bus arrived at the stadium, and accidentally hit the Don Box while trying to stop, sending the tip holder flying a few feet away.
Jen was first to step off the bus. "There's the Don Box!" The Don Box laid on the sidewalk, half-broken and spewing out tips. She picked up one of the discarded tips and read from it, "It's an All-In!"
"'Fly over the Bird's Nest stadium and tandem jump through the donut hole to receive your next tip?'" Tom finished reading.
A cut from the sidewalk to a plane flying above Beijing showed the teams preparing to do the jump, and Max glanced out the window of their plane.
"That's the Doughnut? Highly unimpressive," Max remarked upon seeing where they had to land.
World Interview: Villains
"I wish we had an eating challenge today rather than tandem jumping,” Max grumbled.
“The last eating challenge was the one in Iceland where they served eyeballs and intestines!” Tammy grimaced. “Good thing we chose to pick out a fossil instead.”
“A valid point, sidekick," Max agreed.
“You know you can just call me by my name sometimes,” Tammy deadpanned.
Interview Ends
The Villains and Fashion Bloggers both wore tandem parachute packs. Tammy and Tom, the taller of the two, would be controlling their packs once they jumped.
"I don’t know why they didn’t provide us with helmets," Tom said.
World Interview: Fashion Bloggers
“I thought you weren’t a fan of them,” Jen wondered.
“Yeah, but this is skydiving of all things,” Tom explained. “I’d rather let a helmet ruin my hair than some strong winds.”
“Now that you say it, I want helmets as well,” Jen reconsidered.
Interview Ends
Josee kissed her lava rock, and started rubbing it all over herself. "I need all the luck this Hawaiian lava rock can bring me."
World Interview: Ice Dancers
"Yesterday, we came in fourth.” Josee rubbed her lava rock on Jacques, and Jacques giggled as the lava rock tickled his armpits. “We shouldn't be down in the dirt with the losers. We should tower above them like the goddesses we are!" Josee finished rubbing her rock on Jacques, and pulled her arm back after ruffling his face and hair. "Did that sound egotistical?"
Interview Ends
The door on the side of the plane opened as an alarm blared, signaling it was their time.
"Jump time! You ready?" Kitty asked the Pros.
"Hey, how hard could it be?" Paris quipped, and the two teams jumped out.
Both teams screamed for dear life, and Kitty and Paris eventually got out the parachutes. Doing their best to guide them into the Doughnut, they steered in its direction, but the teams were pushed away in a different direction.
France and Paris screamed as they crashed down onto a rickshaw. Emma and Kitty, on the other hand, slammed face first into a gong.
The other teams soon jumped out of the plane. Most of the teams landed inside the Doughnut, but a wayward drift caught some of the teams.
The Tennis Rivals landed in the stadium and smiled at each other, only to be crushed down by the Party Dudes.
"Yippee!" Brody cheered. Their joy lasted only briefly as Father & Son landed on top of them.
"Oh yeah!" Dwayne cheered, but was cut off by the Goths landing on them.
The Goths stared blankly as their parachute covered them like a blanket.
Still in the air, the Ice Dancers attempted to navigate into the stadium. "Over there! Over there!" Josee commanded.
"I know, Josee! It's just not-agh!" Jacques yelped as they crashed through a billboard with a donkey on it, Jacques having his head stuck out of where the donkey’s butt was supposed to be.
World Interview: Ice Dancers
"That's Jacques for you, always trailing behind," Josse commented with Jacques having part of the billboard around his neck. "But still, he's an asset to the team."
Interview Ends
The Extreme Girls and Sisters ran past the Bird's Nest. "Okay, this time, less screaming, more steering," Emma instructed her sister, both looking disheveled from their bad landing.
"I'll see what I can do, but no guarantees." Kitty replied.
The bus carrying the last five teams arrived, and they all hurried out.
"Come on!" Carrie shouted out.
"Hurry!" Bark added.
Spud had yet to exit the bus, forcing Rock to double back. "Spud, hey, Spud!" Rock called, pulling out a box and shaking it. "Want a choco oinkie?"
Spud got off the bus, took a sniff, and began to smile. Rock shook the box, and took off after the other teams, convincing Spud to chase him.
Outside Interview: Rockers
"New strategy. Spud loves choco oinkies. He'd do anything for one," Rock explained with a smile as he held the box of choco oinkies in one hand.
"Chocolate-covered pork-rindy goodness…" Spud stated, almost hypnotized.
"So I cleaned out the airport vending machine;" Rock took out a choco oinkie. "This will make him up the pace."
Spud eyed the snack, and immediately bit Rock's hand for it. Rock screamed in pain.
Interview Ends
The Party Dudes, Tennis Rivals, Goths, and Father & Son all ran to the Don Box placed in the stadium.
Slamming the button on top, Geoff snatched the tip from the machine. "It's another All-In," he told the others.
A cut to a local vendor out in Beijing showed Don approaching the shop. "An All-In with a twist," Don said. "To receive their next tip from this vendor, one team member must assemble and deep fry a skewer of Beijing street food. And their partner has to eat it. Who's gonna scarf it and who's gonna barf it? Find out when we return on... The Ridonculous Race!"
(Commercial Break)
The front-running teams ran to the shop, and Geoff and Brody stopped by the counter.
"So, what's good today, dude? Are the crickets fresh?" Brody asked the old lady in charge. The old lady held up a cricket, which chirped in response.
Crimson and Ennui ran straight for a crate, and Crimson immediately pulled the lid off, allowing a swarm of bats to fly out.
World Interview: Goths
"Bats are like the most beautiful creatures on Earth. I had to set them free," Crimson stated while the bats flew around.
Interview Ends
Jacques and Josee once more parachuted out of a plane, and were able to make a successful drop into the stadium. As they landed, Jacques bent his foot the wrong way.
"Ah! My ankle!" he cried out in pain.
Outside Interview: Josee
Jacques hopped on one foot in the background, cradling his injured ankle.
"Why is Jacques so clumsy today?!" Josee questioned, giving her partner the stink eye from the foreground. She turned her attention to the camera while crossing her arms. "Don't give him any sympathy. You'll just encourage him."
Interview Ends
Josee ran towards the Don Box, but stopped to turn to Jacques, who was hopping after her, still cradling his ankle. "Snap out of it! Our fans are watching! Eat the pain!" She snarled at him, and put on a smile. "And smile!" Keeping the smile on her face, she went to the Don Box.
Taking Josee's advice, Jacques put on a pained smile, let go of his foot, and followed her. “Okay!”
Behind them, Devin and Carrie landed in the stadium.
"That was incredible! Woo!" Carrie cheered, unbuckling her harness. Devin, frozen in terror from the drop, fell over.
World Interview: Best Friends
"I am not great with heights or falling from them, which I think is reasonable," Devin said nervously, but then relaxed and smiled at Carrie. "I'm just really glad Carrie was there to see me through it? Shelley? Pfft. She would've totally bailed."
"Hey, what's that?" Carrie pointed off-screen past Devin.
Devin turned to see what she was pointing at. "What's what?"
Behind his back, Carrie grinned wildly until Devin began to turn around again. She regained her composure, and shrugged. "Oh, uh, guess it was nothing."
Interview Ends
The Jocks and Pranksters went through their jump, and successfully made it inside the Doughnut.
"So, what’s your favorite sport outside of-" Val asked Usain as they began to land, but was cut off by her and Windsor flopping to the ground as their parachute covered them.
World Interview: Pranksters
"Don’t blame me for your conversation getting ruined. I was simply the one in front of you," Windsor immediately said.
"Well, now I’ll never know about Usain’s favorite sport," Val frowned.
"Usain is a jock, but football would be an obvious answer," Windsor replied.
"I'm just trying to get to know him so I can ask her out without looking so needy and desperate," Val said.
"What can I do to help?" Windsor asked.
Val thought for a moment. "Other than not embarrassing me in front of Usain, nothing. I don’t want you to chase him away with your pranks," she scowled at Windsor, causing the younger girl to cringe.
Interview Ends
The Bulldogs and the Rockers made it into the Doughnut as well.
"Nice going, Bite! You didn't suck out there," Bark mocked his teammate as they ran to the Don Box with a smile.
"And you weren't being a stool, Bark," Bite shot him an equally mocking smile.
"We did it! Oink me!" Spud told Rock, eager to get a snack.
Rock took off the parachute, and removed the box of choco oinkies from a compartment of the pack. "Not until we're out of last place."
“Aw, come on,” Spud complained.
“Fine. Go get it!” Rock chucked a choco oinkie across the stadium.
“I'll get it! I'll get it!” Spud chased after it.
World Interview: Rockers
“My mom says I'm a light eater,” Spud explained. “When the lights go on, I start eating.”
Interview Ends
The teams continued to prepare their skewers. The Goths already had theirs prepared, and Crimson was eating it, but she looked ready to barf. The Tennis Rivals were investigating a crate, and were caught off-guard when a large snake wrapped itself around Gerry's neck. Father & Son ran from the bats that Crimson had freed earlier, and Max accidentally let go of the skewer he was deep frying, causing him to start over.
As the Best Friends ran past them, the Fashion Bloggers didn’t look particularly ready to eat something so disgusting.
Jen looked at her partner concernedly. "Uh, I don't think I can-" She wasn't able to finish her sentence as her cheeks bulged.
Tom frowned. "It's okay. I'll eat it. You skewer up some worms, and-" Jen ran off-screen, and vomited. "I can't even say 'worms'?" Tom asked, and he got a reply in the form of Jen retching some more, making him cringe at the sound.
Outside Interview: Fashion Bloggers
Tom and a pale Jen stood off to the side of the shop, and Jen was holding a bucket.
"When we were kids, Jen tripped over a curb and swallowed," Tom covered Jen's ears and continued softly, "a worm. She barfed for six days straight afterwards." He let go of her ears.
"Were you talking about worms?" Jen asked.
"Yes?" Tom answered hesitantly, and Jen retched into her bucket. "Yeah, I walked into that one."
Interview Ends
Dwayne was shown trying to catch a scorpion with his skewer but failing. “Come on, stay still, will you?” he griped. “Sneaky little rascals. Yeah, maybe I'll just grab one.”
Dwayne reached in, only for the vendor to pull his arm and prevent him. “Don't you worry about me. I'll be quick as a panther. Just you-”
He put his arm in again, and he was rapidly stung by the scorpions, much to Junior's horror. When Dwayne took his hand out, he shook away all of the scorpions.
One of the scorpions landed on Jacques’ face, forcing him to scream. “Kill it, Josee!”
“Stand still!” Josee ordered before she punched all sides of his head in order to get the scorpion off.
Bite skewered up one last creature, a starfish, and held up the skewer. "Alright! Time to cook!" Running the skewer over to the deep fryer, Bite stuck it in as Bark watched.
"Make sure not to burn it!" Bark advised. "I don’t want my tongue getting burned."
Outside Interview: Bulldogs
"I did the eating challenge in Morocco, so it was only fair that Bark here ate the scorpions and worms," Bite explained, then frowned. “I am a wee bit jealous that he’ll get to eat them and not me.”
Interview Ends
“Are you okay, dad?” Junior asked Dwayne, who’s left hand was swollen and had a goofy expression on his face.
“Oh, of course I am, Mr. President. Did you?” Dwayne mumbled before falling back down.
“Perfect,” Junior deadpanned.
Outside Interview: Father & Son
“The medic says it'll wear off eventually, but we can't just wait around or we'll get eliminated!” Junior spoke, unaware of Dwayne starting to wander off. “Looks like I'm in charge. Again.” He soon realized that Dwayne had left. “Oh no! Come back here!”
Interview Ends
“How are you feeling?” Josee checked up on her Jacques, who was sitting on the ground and feeling dizzy.
“I can't feel my face,” Jacques answered.
“Good!” Josee smiled. She took out her skewer with the food already on it, grabbed Jacques's hair, and stuffed the food into his mouth. She even forced him to swallow them whole.
“Done!” Josee cheered once the job was done and Jacques went off to hurl. “We're in first place!”
The vendor gave Josee their next tip. "It's a Botch or Watch. Whoever didn't dive for rings in Hawaii…"
"…must pull their teammate by rickshaw all the way here to the Great Wall of China, using only this rudimentary map," Don explained, standing on the wall and holding a map identical to the ones the teams would be using. "Last team to find the Chill Zone hidden somewhere along the wall, and check in, could be checking out."
Jacques got in a rickshaw while Josee pulled it, and Jacques bid farewell to the other teams. "Au revoir!"
"Hustle!" MacArthur ordered while Sanders took the front.
Brody whooped as he took the front of the third rickshaw.
"Three teams have moved on. Jen, you need to start skewering if-" Tom told Jen, but was interrupted when she ran off to barf in her bucket some more.
Meanwhile, Max was assembling a skewer for Tammy in the background. The Villains had stopped what they were doing to watch the three teams advance to the next challenge, and turned their attention to the sound of Jen hurling. They cringed at the sight off-screen.
“Shouldn't we try and help them?” Tammy asked.
“And be penalized? We may be alliance mates, but that host man will certainly punish us,” Max replied.
“I guess you do have a point there,” Tammy considered.
The Pranksters and Jocks all finally arrived.
"I prep, you eat!" Usain told Lightning.
"Why does Lightning have to eat?" Lightning asked.
"Because you picked the spices for me," Usain took a skewer, and quickly assembled an assortment for his partner.
Having watched the Sisters, Val turned to Windsor. "I prep, you eat! Not a question!"
"Wow," Usain said in response to Val's assertiveness.
World Interview: Pranksters
"I figure," Val began to say, "if I act strong and assertive, he'll see that I'm the girl for him. I've got this all figured out," she smiled confidently.
Interview Ends
Usain gave Val a flat look. "You should be less hard on your partner. She is 13, you know." Val's smile towards her fell upon hearing his response.
World Interview: Pranksters
"How is this so hard?" Val facepalmed.
"Now do you want my help, Valentine?" Windsor teased.
Val raised an eyebrow. "How could you possibly help?"
"I know from your experience how to make Usain like you. Don't act like someone you're not, and don't act like a bumbling mess around him," Windsor lectured. “Both are embarrassing to watch.”
Val sent the camera an unamused gaze.
Interview Ends
Val assembled a skewer, and joined Usain in deep frying.
"So, uh…" Val chuckled awkwardly, "deep fry skewers often?"
"Not really, no," Usain responded with a flat look.
World Interview: Jocks
"Deep fry skewers often? Seriously? Is that the best she can do?" Usain asked.
"I'm sure she's just trying her best,” Lightning reasoned. “I never thought that a girl as beautiful as Val would have trouble flirting."
Interview Ends
Bark finished eating, and threw the skewer in the trash. "Done!" he said.
"Alright!" Bite cheered, and accepted the tip from the vendor. She glanced over at the rickshaws. "Looks like a Botch or Watch. You dived for the ring in Hawaii, so it's your turn."
"Okay, let's go," Bark agreed, and they went to get a rickshaw.
Carrie and Devin looked in a crate, and saw that a snake was curled up in the shape of a heart.
"Aw, look Devin," Carrie smiled at Devin, "It must be a sign."
Devin smiled back, and was randomly attacked by the snake biting at his face.
Meanwhile, Spud attempted to skewer a starfish. Rather than skewer it down the middle, he tried skewering one of the starfish's arms. "Whoa, if I had that many arms, I could play guitar, drums, and bass all at the same time."
"Man, hurry up," Rock urged his partner.
Outside Interview: Rockers
"I think a choco oink would really help me pick it up, you know?" Spud prompted.
Rock raised a challenging eyebrow, and took out a choco oink. "Yeah, one of these? Sure hope there's some left when we aren't in last place." He curled the snack up in his fist.
"You can't do-" Spud gasped.
"Can't what?" Rock prodded, crushing the choco oink in his fist into crumbs.
Spud screamed in horror, and bent down to the sidewalk to eat the crumbs.
Interview Ends
"There!" Jacques pointed at the approaching Great Wall. "First place, here we come! Yes!"
Unbeknownst to the Ice Dancers, a banana peel was lying in their path. They were so focused on reaching the wall that Josee stepped on the peel, and slipped, propelling the rickshaw forward without her. Jacques screamed as the transport spiraled out of control, and got stuck on a rock, launching him into the air and onto the wall. "My ankle!"
Val and Usain's skewers were finally ready, and they handed them to their respective partners.
While Windsor took modest bites of her skewer, Lightning opened his mouth, and stuck the whole skewer in, pulling it out clean. After a couple chews, he swallowed. "Done!"
"Are you serious?" Windsor asked after swallowing a bit.
Lightning pointed to Windsor's skewer. "You gonna finish that?"
Bite pulled Bark along, and the latter looked a little worse for wear. Bite noticed this as well.
"Um, are you okay?" she questioned.
Bark put on his best smile. "Never better. Just a little full from the skewer-" Bark was interrupted by his cheeks bulging mid-answer, and he hurled on the side of the road.
Outside Interview: Bite
Bark was hunched over on the side of the road, puking into the grass. Bite stood in the foreground near the camera.
"Yeah, that could've been me blowing chunks if he ate the stew and I had to eat the fried food," Bite admitted.
Interview Ends
The Party Dudes and Police Cadets arrived at the Great Wall, and were stuck with two different directions.
"Which way?" Sanders pondered.
"Should we split up?" Geoff asked.
Brody smiled, and slung an arm around MacArthur. "Good idea. I'll go with MacArthur!"
"Dude, I meant one team goes right and the other team goes left," Geoff explained.
World Interview: Police Cadets
"It's not Brody's fault he's crushing on me,” MacArthur smirked. “Doctors say my pheromones are stronger than a jet engine built by grizzly bears."
"What?" Sanders raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't even make sense."
MacArthur snorted. "Oh, right. ‘Cause you're a bear expert."
Interview Ends
(Commercial Break)
Josee and Jacques stopped running along the Great Wall's path, and looked both ways the wall went, not sure which way they're supposed to go.
"Which way?" Josee panted.
Jacques growled as he held up the map to observe it. "This map is useless!"
Josee snatched the map out of his hand, took out her lava rock and gave it a kiss, and then rubbed the rock on the map. "I'll let luck decide." She pocketed her charm, and tossed the map up in the air, letting it get caught by the wind. "Chill Zone, here we come!" The Ice Dancers ran off, pursuing their map.
"Five more teams have finished the eating challenge, leaving our last two skewered up teams," Don narrated as the Goths, Tennis Rivals, Father & Son, Best Friends, Sisters, and Extreme Girls got their tips. Tammy struggled to eat her skewer, while Spud and Jen had yet to deep fry theirs.
Jen came back from another round of vomiting, and Tom took the skewer. "Stand aside. I'm cooking," he said, skewering some worms in the crate.
"But I can't do the eating…" Jen groaned as Tom went over to the fryer.
Outside Interview: Fashion Bloggers
"But it's not chicken," Jen protested, holding her bucket in front of her.
"Doesn't matter. Say it like you mean it over and over. Make your mind believe it's chicken," Tom encouraged her.
"Okay… it's chicken. It's chicken. It's chicken. It's chicken!" Jen started to believe it every time she recited the mantra, and eventually dropped the bucket to the ground.
Interview Ends
Tom finished deep frying, and handed it over to Jen.
"It's chicken… it's chicken… it's chicken…" Jen bit into the skewer.
"That's it! Now taste the chicken!" Tom cheered her on.
Spud ran over to Rock with a skewer ready to eat. "I can has choco oink?" he asked as Rock took the skewer.
"No, dude, we're still in last," Rock stated. He took a glance at the skewer, and his cheeks bulged.
World Interview: Rockers
"Once, I ate deep fried tofu. I was like blegh, and this was all like krkrkrkrkrk," Rock explained, imitating a twitch while Spud watched on.
Interview Ends
Tammy swallowed, and winced. "Done!" She and Max took their tip, and ran off to the next part of the challenge.
Lightning flexed his muscles as Usain pulled their cart along. "So why are you shooting Val down?"
"It's a competition. Relationships can mess it up and we need the money," Usain responded as he ran.
"Lightning hasn't forgotten about that man," Lightning responded. “All I'm sayin’ is-”
"Get it over with so that you and me can beat them? No can do. You can't rush love," Usain replied, ending the discussion.
As they went along the road, their wheel hit a large rock, and wobbled off the cart, unbalancing the Jocks and they screamed while they crashed. Usain saw their wheel rolling away. "Our wheel!"
Moments later, Val and Windsor came around, Windsor accidentally running over the wheel and crushing it. "It's destroyed! We're going to be eliminated," Lightning began to panic when the Pranksters stopped next to them.
"Hey, you guys need a hand?" Windsor inquired.
Val got out of the rickshaw, and walked over to the Jocks. "Hi, Usain. Act normal." Val closed her eyes, and they shot open in realization. "That part wasn't supposed to be out loud. I was talking to myself."
"Just stop," Usain pleaded.
"Okay!" Val quickly shut up.
Bark and Bite stopped in the middle of the Great Wall, looking both ways.
"Which way should we go?" Bite asked.
Holding his stomach, Bark replied, "You decide. I'm still recovering from that vomiting episode."
Bite looked around to see if anything could be a clue. Eventually, she found nothing, and just pointed off to her right. "We're going this way."
On another part of the Great Wall, the Party Dudes and the Police Cadets were still running to their left.
"This has got to be wrong. We should turn around," Sanders spoke up.
"180! Let's do it!" Geoff agreed enthusiastically. Both teams quickly did a U-Turn, and started going back the way they came. "Oh yeah!" he whooped.
Usain and Windsor ran side by side, pulling their rickshaws at the same speed.
Usain glanced back for a second. "Is this too fast, Val?"
"Nope," Val denied. "It's good." She was standing on the seat of her and Windsor's rickshaw, hunched over the side and holding the part of Usain and Lightning's rickshaw that once held their missing wheel.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Lightning asked as he watched her.
"Oh yeah. I'm in pain, but Usain's very hot," Val answered, causing both Jocks to smile. "That was out loud again, wasn't it?"
At the Chill Zone, Don smiled upon seeing the first team to arrive.
"Bulldogs, first time arriving at the Chill Zone first! Congrats!" Don congratulated the team.
"Alright! We did it, laddie!" Bite cheered.
Bark groaned while straining to smile. "Cheers. I think I need to use the restroom or something." He walked away from the Carpet of Completion, still holding his stomach. Bite, who was frowning in concern, followed after him.
The Jocks and Pranksters reached the Great Wall, and walked to their right, the camera's left.
Glancing at Val, Usain asked, "How's your hand?"
Smiling at her crush, Val answered, "It's fine," she held up her left hand while frowning. "This one, not so much." Her left hand was red and swollen.
"I'm good at massaging. Give me your hand." Taking hold of Val's hand in both of his, Usain held it and massaged it to get the swelling down. "What you did was really cool. Does this feel better?"
"It's actually really painful," Val began to say, prompting Usain to stop, "but don't stop. Oh no, was that out loud?"
Lightning smiled. "You didn't say anything." Beside him, Windsor smiled as well.
"Oh, good."
Jacques and Josee continued to run down the Great Wall's path, and gasped when they saw the Police Cadets and Party Dudes coming their way.
"If they're coming towards us," Jacques realized as he turned to Josee, "then we're going the wrong way!" He and Josee panicked, and immediately turned around, running just a few feet ahead of the other two teams.
Outside Interview: Junior
Dwayne was in the background standing in front of the rickshaw, though his pants were down.
“My dad has to pull the rickshaw?” Junior moaned in the foreground.
“No problem, Santa! I'll pull your sleigh,” Dwayne said until he noticed that his boxers were showing. “Where are my legs?!” he yelled.
Interview Ends
France grunted as she pulled Paris in the rickshaw.
"Just imagine that you're being chased by the pack of dogs from Mr. Yank's house," Paris encouraged.
"Too bad they aren't here!" France said.
Just a few feet behind them, Emma was pulling Kitty.
"I feel so-!" Kitty almost retched. "Are we almost at the Great Wall?"
Emma continued to stare ahead, but answered her partner. "I think so. I think I can see it up ahead."
Rock finished putting a wheel that had fallen off back on the rickshaw. "There. That should hold it until-" Rock stopped as he turned around to see Spud eating the choco oinks. "Seriously? Did you just down all the choco oinks?"
"Maybe," Spud answered.
"I needed those to motivate you!" Rock complained.
"To eat them all? Done!" Spud threw the empty box over his shoulder.
"It's not like it matters anyway. You're not the one pulling the rickshaw," Rock told him.
World Interview: Rockers
"A few years ago, Spud ate a whole box of chocolate covered coffee beans," Rock recalled.
"Yeah, I did over three thousand consecutive power slides," Spud added.
"Yeah man," Rock agreed. "It was all whzow, wah, and pshoom!"
Interview Ends
Tom began to run, towing the rickshaw behind him.
“Are you sure you're going to be fine Jen?” Tom checked on his partner, who was beginning to recover.
"Ask me later Tom. Keep pulling the rickshaw," Jen said.
At the Chill Zone, the Pranksters and Jocks were debating who should step on it first.
"Only one team can come in second," Don reminded them.
"You two can go," Val gestured for the Jocks to go ahead of her and Windsor.
Lightning began to step onto the Carpet of Completion, but was stopped by Usain holding out his arm.
"I would accept, but you girls should take this one. You did swell up your hand for us," Usain reasoned, smiling at Val meaningfully.
"I like you," Val told him with a smile back.
"Do you want me to change my mind?" Usain laughed.
World Interview: Pranksters
"You know you're on good terms with a team of competitive jocks when they allow you to win," Windsor joked while Val watched her with a smile.
Interview Ends
“We almost done delivering the presents?” Dwayne wondered while pulling Junior.
“Presents?” Junior asked in surprise. “Oh, right. Ho, ho, ho!”
"Go, Max! You can do it!" Tammy cheered as Max pulled her before the Rockers and Fashion Bloggers passed them.
Josee found herself twitching as she screeched "Fourth again?!" Beside her, Jacques glared at Don.
"Yes, fourth always comes after third,” Don said. “The numbers are sequential."
World Interview: Ice Dancers
Josee could be heard raging, and breaking stuff off-screen. Jacques sat in front of the camera, smiling hesitantly while giving thumbs-up, carefully dodging objects flying past him.
Interview Ends
"Fifth!" Police Cadets. "Sixth!" Party Dudes. "Seventh!" Goths. "Eighth!" Tennis Rivals. "Ninth!" Best Friends. "Tenth!" Sisters. "Eleventh!" Extreme Girls. "Twelfth!" Father & Son.
"There's the Chill Zone!" Tom cheered and ran for it.
Behind him, Jen started to feel woozy. "Ohhh… that was not chicken…" she moaned and then threw up on the back of Tom’s head, forcing him to scream and trip on his feet, preventing them from moving forward and allowing the Rockers and Villains to run past them.
"Thirteenth!" Don awarded to the Rockers. "Fourteenth!" he said to the Villains.
The Fashion Bloggers got on the Carpet of Completion, Jen wiping her vomit off of Tom with a tissue.
"Fashion Bloggers," Don informed Jen and Tom, "I'm afraid you're the last team to arrive."
"Aw… we were so close," Jen moaned.
It was then that the Villains came onto the Carpet. “So it would appear that you two will be departing,” Max said.
“Afraid so,” Tom nodded.
“Sorry we can't continue our partnership,” Jen said, “but hopefully we can see each other after the race.”
“That would be nice,” Tammy smiled. “I've never told Max this, but I've watched your blog, and I'm a huge fan.”
“Why did you not tell me, sidekick?” Max shot a look her way. “You should know that-”
“We'll promote jumpsuits on our blog when we get home,” Jen assured him.
“As a way of making both of you happy,” Tom added. “They're really appealing.”
Max's anger evaporated after hearing that. “In that case, I'm letting this slide, Tammy,” he smiled and walked away with Tammy. “Until we meet again.”
“Bye guys,” Jen waved at them while she and Tom smiled.
“I wouldn't call this a failure in any way,” Tom said as their montage played. “We so kicked butt.”
“We nearly died so many times on that skywalk, in that geyser field, oh, on that vine,” Jen recalled. “But we totally did it.”
“Yay us,” Tom cheered.
“Doing this race is a huge test of how strong your friendship is. And I think we did great,” Jen said.
“Greater than great,” Tom agreed.
“Sorry about puking on you earlier,” Jen added as they were walking home. “I'll use some of my money to get you a new shirt.”
“That's generous, but I think it can be spent on my dime instead,” Tom refused politely.
(Roll the Credits)
Stepbrothers - Chet & Lorenzo - 21st
Geniuses - Ellody & Mary - 20th
Vegans - Laurie & Miles - 19th
Adversity Twins - Jay & Mickey - 18th
Daters - Ryan & Stephanie - 17th
Mother & Daughter - Kelly & Taylor - 16th
Fashion Bloggers - Jen & Tom - 15th
Current Rankings: Bulldogs, Pranksters, Jocks, Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Party Dudes, Goths, Tennis Rivals, Best Friends, Sisters, Extreme Girls, Father & Son, Rockers, Villains

[If you see this, I'm still looking!]
Here we go—I'm finally making a post!
So, after months of lurking (and a handful of half-written posts), I'm finally taking the plunge and giving this a shot. I know they say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, but in my case, it begins with a single post. So, here goes nothing, right? Haha.
What am I looking for?
In a nutshell—authentic, meaningful conversation. A few days ago, a few other faculty members and I met up for an evening out to celebrate the end of finals. A few of us stayed pretty late, pontificating about life, talking about the most random topics, and basically just enjoying each other's company. I don't know about you, but in today's world (where so many of us are glued to Zoom screens and remote work), we need more of that sort of dynamic—just genuine, authentic, long-form discourse. I like to believe with the right sort of person (and the right sort of conversational skills), you can cultivate that sort of vibe in online conversation.
For example, when I think back to the past, one of my favorite memories was a lengthy conversation I had with a random stranger at a cozy little coffee shop in a small town in Upstate New York. We talked about everything from philosophy to the best type of coffee beans. That's the sort of conversation I crave!
A bit about me:

• I'm 34, male, and work in higher education.
• I finished my doctorate a few years ago (Finally! I can now add "doctor" to my name without having to prescribe anything or perform surgery, haha — although that dissertation was brutal, just sayin').
• I love the outdoors and often take local day trips to explore new trails and scenic spots.
• I have a passion for photography, always trying to capture that perfect shot.
• Journaling and poetry are my ways of reflecting and expressing my thoughts, even if my poems often end up sounding like Dr. Seuss after too much coffee.
• Long hikes are my therapy. Nature has a way of putting things into perspective.
• I have a knack for making terrible puns. Consider yourself warned.
• I like to pretend I'm a trivia night enthusiast, though my knowledge of obscure 90s cartoons is more impressive than practical.
• I'm convinced that breakfast foods are acceptable at any time of the day. Pancakes for dinner, anyone?
• I’ve been known to binge-watch documentaries about anything from space exploration to ancient civilizations.
• I’m a coffee enthusiast and love experimenting with different brewing methods and beans.
• I’m secretly training for the “Olympics of Procrastination,” and I’m a gold medal contender.
• I pride myself on my ability to parallel park in one go – a skill I wish I could add to my résumé.
• My superpower is finding the perfect GIF for any situation.

So basically...
I'm hoping to find thoughtful interactions with folks who genuinely want to discuss all that life has to offer. I'm drawn to people with a natural zest and curiosity for life, who embrace a growth mindset, and who value emotional intelligence and strong communication skills. Whether we're delving into deep philosophical questions or sharing our favorite recipes, I'm looking for someone who appreciates the beauty of a well-rounded, engaging conversation.
If this sounds like you, send me a chat message! I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

I have already posted on here somewhere about how I and my current bf are looking to hopefully get married sometime in the not too distant future. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I could not be happier.
This is about my first boyfriend, let's call him Dick.
I was 24 and he was 19. We met while I was working on a college campus at a Burrito Bowl. Well, actually, that's not strictly true. Although I did not attend that particular college, I was often involved in a religious organization that met on that college campus-in addition to working there. We met when I joined the Discord server for that religious organization, and offered to bring dinner to meet new people. He was the only person to take me up on my offer, and so on a storming night in the middle of a week in October, I rolled up to the campus meeting center with a wagon full of:
-a pot of soup
-tortilla chips
-seasoned bread
-butter
-shredded cheese
-sour cream
-fork, knives, spoons, glasses, and folded cloth napkins
Yes, I basically brought an absolute stranger a full meal. For free. On a college campus. In a wagon.
We hit it off and became really fast friends. Really fast friends. Fast forward to end of April the following year. He and I were hanging out together because he wasn't going to be coming back to that college the following semester. He had lost his scholarship because of bad grades. The night before he was supposed to leave, I took him to one of my favorite restaurants as a farewell treat. It was going to be two years before I could see him again. After I dropped him back off at his dorm, I went to run a few errands of my own. Meanwhile, he is texting me that he hasn't packed anything and he doesn't know where to start. I offered to come help, and he said please.
I was at the store while he was texting me, so I bought for myself a 1.25L bottle of coke, and some chocolate. I got THE text as soon as I had finished checking out: "Hey when you get here, I'd like to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."
I pull up to the dorm and go up to his room, plop myself onto the couch. He left to go get something out of his car that he had forgotten. When he came back, he nervously sat down on the arm of another chair in the room, and proceeded to drink MY coke and chowed down on MY chocolate, while rambling on about how he thought I was super sweet and that he really like me and that he hadn't intended to come back, but now, it was his entire goal to come back one day for me. He didn't ask me right then to be his gf, but said he wanted time to think about it, but would I also think about what my answer would be?
I said I would, and proceeded to get his entire dorm room cleaned and packed by 9 am the next morning. A week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we were incredibly happy--for three weeks.
At the end of three weeks, we were talking while he was traveling to and from work, but there just wasn't anything there anymore. He started ("inadvertently") giving me lists of people, animals I would have to please and things I would have to do in order to be his gf. He didn't want to talk to me anymore, I never knew if he would call me or not, or if he would just randomly hang up on me in the middle of a call. He would constantly rather play video games or listen to music than talk to me. I was becoming more and more discouraged and feeling very boxed in. Also, I never received any gifts, flowers or presents from him our entire relationship. I know it is kind of hard to do long distance, but I managed to send TWO packages to him containing meaningful gifts. Side note for those interested: my current bf either sends me flowers/gifts via DoorDash, Instacart, etc., or has me go out and buy what I like and then refunds me the money. I love this so much.
I went away to go volunteer at another religious organization. Right before I left, I bought a plane ticket to go visit him for my birthday week. Everything was arranged. During the camp, we broke up. Here's how.
He knew that he was my first ever for everything. First bf, first serious relationship, first KISS. He played that, and played it hard. He knew that I had boundaries and that I would stick to them, even if I was embarrassed or thought it would hurt him. I was not going to budge on what I thought was right. He told me that his plan was basically to kiss me the minute I stepped off the plane to see if there was any "spark" there. Idk what would have happened if he didn't find the "spark". When I hinted that I might not be comfortable with that, he asked me why, and I said it was the way I was raised. He got upset, told me that he was starting to hate my parents and said that this was the way things were going to go. I hung up with him, called my mom and told her everything. I got her to begrudgingly allow me that if Dick wanted to kiss, I could. That is all I wanted, sex wasn't even on the menu.
At this point, I am mad at Dick. So I called him back and ranted off on him about how I felt about the entire thing, but mentioned that I had "permission" from my mother to kiss him IF I chose. He didn't let it go, but got his mother involved. We argued back and forth for two days. Finally, two days before camp ended, he texted me, asking if we could have an honest conversation. The basics of what he said, over TEXT:
"I love you, and when I say it I do mean it, but I mean it more in the way that you would tell your sister."
I was so distraught and stressed out that I couldn't think of anything else to do other than pray. Over the period of an hour, I literally typed out my heart and feelings to the God I thought I believed in, to Dick. At the end of it, Dick's entire response? "Don't you know that would've been better said to the Big Man Upstairs?"
I ended things immediately.
We tried to remain friends (at first this was mutual agreement, and then entirely his idea) but it didn't work out well at all. All I can say is that Karma is an absolute bitch, and in this matter I am 100% on her side. Hell, I would've even given her the weaponry needed to screw Dick over, even without her asking.
A few months go by and he ends up getting into another relationship. The gf doesn't know me, but tells him that he needs to block me or else. So he does, I end up having to leave the Discord server for the religious group, and I lost contact with most of my support group because of this. I should mention here that these were MY friends, not his. He wasn't even from the same state as I was. I found out from my best friend that just a few short weeks later, Dick went into the server and posted a prayer request about how his gf was missing. Later, he posted another, and even later posted a third. My best friend rang my phone off the hook that night trying to get in touch with me.
Apparently, Dick's gf was incredibly mentally unstable. She had threatened to go end her life, and disappeared. Nobody knew where she was. Dick eventually called the cops, and when they found her, she GASLIT him saying that he was so untrusting, was just the worst, he made her feel that way, all the jazz. They broke it off and I believe she may have been institutionalized for a little bit.
So yeah. I think I'm way happier now, just sayin. :)

[Previously on My Little Pony]Twilight Sparkle: "Elements of Harmony, see 'Mare in the Moon'"?Spike: But that's just an old ponies' tale.Twilight Sparkle: She will bring about nighttime eternal.Twilight Sparkle: It's imperative that the princess is told right away.Spike: [burps]Twilight Sparkle: I knew she would wanna take immediate action.Spike: My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony's life than studying. Make some friends!Pinkie Pie: [prolonged gasp]Twilight Sparkle: All the ponies in this town are crazy!Twilight Sparkle: I hope the Princess was right.Rarity: She's gone!Twilight Sparkle: Oh no. Nightmare Moon!Nightmare Moon: [evil laugh][theme song]Nightmare Moon: [evil laugh]Mayor Mare: Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!Nightmare Moon: Stand back, you foals! [laughs][screaming]Applejack: Ergh...Rainbow Dash: Come back here! [pants] Nighttime? Forever? Where's she going?Spike: Uh... We gotta stop Nightmare!... [snoring]Twilight Sparkle: You've been up all night, Spike. You are a baby dragon after all. Elements, elements, elements... Ugh! How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?Rainbow Dash: And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy? Whoa!Applejack: Simmer down, Sally. She ain't no spy. But she sure knows what's going on. Don't you, Twilight?Twilight Sparkle: I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them; I don't even know what they do!Pinkie Pie: "The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide."Twilight Sparkle: How did you find that?!Pinkie Pie: [sing-song voice] It was under "E"!Twilight Sparkle: Oh. There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now...Mane Six: The Everfree Forest!Pinkie Pie: Whee! Let's go!Twilight Sparkle: Not so fast. Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own.Applejack: No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple.Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy: Mm hm.Pinkie Pie: Especially if there's candy apples in there. What? Those things are good.Twilight Sparkle: [sigh]Twilight Sparkle: So, none of you have been in here before?Rarity: Ugh, heavens no! Just look at it - it's dreadful.Applejack: And it ain't natural. Folks say it don't work the same as Equestria.Twilight Sparkle: What's that supposed to mean?Rainbow Dash: Nopony knows. You know why?Applejack: Rainbow, quit it.Rainbow Dash: 'Cause everypony who's ever come in has never... come... out![crash][screams]Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! Quick!Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.Rarity: [screams]Twilight Sparkle: [screams]Applejack: Hold on! I'm a-comin'!Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! What do I do?Applejack: Let go.Twilight Sparkle: Are you crazy?Applejack: No I ain't. I promise you'll be safe.Twilight Sparkle: That's not true!Applejack: Now listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe.Twilight Sparkle: Yaaah! Phew-wah!Fluttershy: Sorry girls. I'm not used to holding anything more than a bunny or two.[animal roar]Rainbow Dash: And once Pinkie and Rarity were saved, whoosh... Me and Fluttershy loop-de-loop around and WHAM! Caught you right in the nick of time.Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Rainbow, I was there, and I'm very grateful, but we gotta— [gasp] A manticore!Manny Roar: [roar]Twilight Sparkle: We've gotta get past him!Rarity: Take that, you ruffian!Manny Roar: [roar]Rarity: My hair! [yell]Fluttershy: Wait.Manny Roar: [roar]Applejack: YEE-HAW! Git along, little dogie.Fluttershy: Wait.Manny Roar: [roars]Applejack: Whoa! All yours, partner.Rainbow Dash: I'm on it.Fluttershy: Wait!Manny Roar: [roars]Rainbow Dash: [screams]Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow!Manny Roar: [grunt]Twilight Sparkle: [snorts]Fluttershy: WAIT!Manny Roar: [roar]Fluttershy: Shhh... It's okay. Oh, you poor, poor little baby.Rainbow Dash: Little?Fluttershy: Now this might hurt for just a second.Manny Roar: [roar]Mane Six: Fluttershy!Manny Roar: [purrs]Fluttershy: [giggles] Aw you're just a little ol' baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are.Twilight Sparkle: How did you know about the thorn?Fluttershy: I didn't. Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness.Rarity: No. My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck. Well, I didn't mean that literally.Twilight Sparkle: That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it.Rarity: I didn't see you there, my apologies.Rainbow Dash: Right here... guh...Applejack: Oh wait, I think I stepped in somethin'.Fluttershy: [scream]Applejack: It's just mud.[tree growls]Applejack: Aah![trees growling][screams][screams]Pinkie Pie: [laughter]Mane Six: Huh?Pinkie Pie: [laughter] Bleh. Ooo! [funny noises] [laughter]Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, what are you doing?! Run!Pinkie Pie: Oh girls, don't you see?[Pinkie Pie]When I was a little filly and the sun was going down...Twilight Sparkle: Tell me she's not...[Pinkie Pie]The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown...Rarity: She is.[Pinkie Pie]I'd hide under my pillowFrom what I thought I sawBut Granny Pie said that wasn't the wayTo deal with fears at allRainbow Dash: Then what is?[Pinkie Pie]She said, "Pinkie, you gotta stand up tallLearn to face your fearsYou'll see that they can't hurt youJust laugh to make them disappear."Ha! Ha! Ha!Ponies: [gasp][Pinkie Pie]So, giggle at the ghostlyGuffaw at the grosslyCrack up at the creepyWhoop it up with the weepyChortle at the kookySnortle at the spookyAnd tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha... heh...Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh![laughs]Pinkie Pie: How are we gonna cross this?[distant cry]Pinkie Pie: Huh?Steven Magnet: [sobbing] What a world, what a world.Twilight Sparkle: Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying?Steven Magnet: Well, I don't know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just whisked past me and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off, and now I look simply horrid. [wails]Rainbow Dash: Oh, give me a break.Applejack: That's what all the fuss is about?Rarity: Why, of course it is. How can you be so insensitive? Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales.Steven Magnet: [sniffs] I know.Rarity: And your expertly coiffed mane.Steven Magnet: Oh, I know, I know.Rarity: Your fabulous manicure.Steven Magnet: [gasp] It's so true!Rarity: All ruined without your beautiful mustache.Steven Magnet: It's true, I'm hideous!Rarity: I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected.Steven Magnet: [yelp] What did you do that for?Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, what are you-Steven Magnet: [moans] Oh-hohohoho! My mustache. How wonderful.Rarity: You look smashing.Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Rarity, your beautiful tail...Rarity: Oh. It's fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it'll grow back.Rainbow Dash: So would the mustache.Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] We can cross now. Let's go. Ah!Steven Magnet: Allow me.Twilight Sparkle: There it is, the ruin that holds The Elements of Harmony. We made it!Applejack: Twilight, wait for us!Twilight Sparkle: We're almost there. Whoa!Rainbow Dash: What's with you and falling off cliffs today?Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Now what?Rainbow Dash: Duh.Pinkie Pie: Oh yeah.Shadowbolt Leader: Rainbow...Rainbow Dash: Who's there?Shadowbolt Leader: Rainbow...Rainbow Dash: I ain't scared of you! Show yourself!Shadowbolt Leader: We've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flyer in Equestria.Rainbow Dash: Who?Shadowbolt Leader: Why, you, of course.Rainbow Dash: Really?! I mean... Oh yeah, me. Hey, uh, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? 'Cause I've been trying to get into that group for, like, ever.Shadowbolt Leader: No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join us, the Shadowbolts. We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. The most magnificent...Rainbow Dash: Yep.Shadowbolt Leader: Swiftest...Rainbow Dash: Yes.Shadowbolt Leader: Bravest flyer in all the land.Rainbow Dash: Yes, [chuckle] it's all true.Shadowbolt Leader: We need... you.Rainbow Dash: WOOHOO! Sign me up. Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal.Shadowbolt Leader: No! It's them or us.Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, what's taking so long? Oh no. Rainbow! Don't listen to them.Shadowbolt Leader: Well?Rainbow Dash: You... Thank you! For the offer, I mean, but I'm afraid I have to say no.[ponies cheering]Rainbow Dash: See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'.Twilight Sparkle: Whoa.Applejack: Come on, Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' for?Twilight Sparkle: The Elements of Harmony, we've found them. Careful, careful!Pinkie Pie: One, two, three, four... There's only five!Rainbow Dash: Where's the sixth?Twilight Sparkle: The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed.Applejack: What in the hay is that supposed to mean?Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen.Applejack: Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate.Twilight Sparkle: Aah!Mane Six: Twilight!Twilight Sparkle: The Elements!Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: ["Where did she go?" "What's going on?"]Applejack: Twilight, where are you?Rarity: Look!Applejack: Come on!Twilight Sparkle: [coughs, gasps]Nightmare Moon: [evil laugh]Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Hmph!Nightmare Moon: You're kidding. You're kidding, right?Twilight Sparkle: [groan] Just one spark. Come on, come on. Aah!Nightmare Moon: No, no!Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] But... where's the sixth Element?!Nightmare Moon: [laughter] You little foal! Thinking you could defeat me? Now you will never see your princess, or your sun! The night will last forever! [evil laugh]Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash: ["Twilight?" "Don't worry, we'll be there." "We're here."]Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here.Nightmare Moon: What?Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of... honesty! Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of... kindness! Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of... laughter! Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift represents the spirit of... generosity! And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire represents the spirit of... loyalty! The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us.Nightmare Moon: You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!Twilight Sparkle: But it did! A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!Nightmare Moon: Nooo! Nooo!Rainbow Dash: Ugh, my head.Applejack: Everypony okay?Rarity: Oh, thank goodness.Fluttershy: Why Rarity, it's so lovely.Rarity: I know! I'll never part with it again.Fluttershy: No. Your necklace. It looks just like your cutie mark.Rarity: What? Ooh. So does yours.Fluttershy: [gasp]Pinkie Pie: Look at mine! Look at mine!Rainbow Dash: Aw yeah.Applejack: Gee, Twilight! I thought you were just spoutin' a lot of hooey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship.Princess Celestia: Indeed you do.Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Princess Celestia.Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it.Twilight Sparkle: But... you told me it was all an old pony tale.Princess Celestia: I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return, and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart. Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!Princess Luna: [gasp]Princess Celestia: It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister.Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash: Sister?Princess Celestia: Will you accept my friendship?Pinkie Pie: Whoa!Princess Luna: I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!Princess Celestia: I've missed you, too.Pinkie Pie: [blows her nose] [sobs] Hey, you know what this calls for?Pinkie Pie: A party![music and cheering ponies]Princess Celestia: Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is complete and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?Twilight Sparkle: That's just it. Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them.Princess Celestia: Spike, take a note, please. I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville.[ponies cheer]Twilight Sparkle: Oh thank you, Princess Celestia! I'll study harder than ever before.[ponies cheer]Pinkie Pie: Isn't this exciting? Are you excited cause I'm excited I've never been so excited, well, except for the time that I went [deep gasp] but I mean really-

I really like this speech and I've been looking for it for a while and haven't found it in text!
So I wrote it down:
S: Saejima, M: Majima.
S: You and me are just like that tripe.
S: Cook meat too much, it gets too tough to eat.
S: But that ain't so with tripe.
S: Its worth comes from bein' burned.
S: Gotta burn it and burn it till it's black.
S: Burn off the grease and polish its flavor.
M: Huh. It is good.
S: All right, Now how's this?
M: What is this? It's half-cooked!
M: It sure ain't edible.
S: That's it. Not much worse'n half-cooked tripe.
S: We need more burnin', both of us.
S: All the dressin' up and high livin' we do, it don't change that we're just yakuza.
S: We ain't quality meat.
M: We're trash like tripe, you're sayin'.
S: Yeah.
S: That's why we need more burnin'.
S: Tripe that ain't burned properly is trash.
S: Trash that only gets meaningful when it's burned black.
S: Yakuza these days forget that.
M: So, that's why you're servin' time again?
S: I promised Kiryu.
S: I'll make the Tojo Clan strong again.
S: For that, I'm willing to take a year or two...
S: And burn myself black.
S: Brother.
S: Before I come back, you keep the restaurant runnin' right.
S: You stick close and support that young chef.
M: Ya mean Daigo.
S: He's got the chops.
S: But the company he keeps... Half-cooked, all of them.
M: No doubt.
M: In number of men, the Tojo Clan's the biggest it's ever been.
M: But, most of'em haven't seen war.
M: Half-assed wannabes everywhere.
M: Just watch. If we go to war against Omi, they'll scatter like rats.
S: It's fine to make money intimidatin' civilians.
S: But money's not enough to get by in our world.
S: In the end, it's power.
S: That's why we gotta be the pillars.
S: That's why we're still here.
M: Yeah...
M: All right! I'll eat myself full, too!
S: Gotta eat it before it turns into cinder.
S: Sure it's trash, but it really turns worthless if ya let it burn to a cinder.
M: Shit, ya fire me up and then pull this?
M: Hey, sweetie, three orders of deluxe tripe
M: Nah, make that ten orders! Hustle it over!

7 years in a relationship. We have a 5 yo daughter. He is really a responsible father especially when it comes to finances. Working 3 jobs to support our needs. Picks me up from my work. Constantly updates me on his whereabouts. I can freely check on his phone whenever I want. But the problem is, I dont see love in his eyes. Everytime he picks me up from work, I can only see blank stare, when I'm very excited to see him after a long day of work. Like he is only picking me up from work coz he needs to. And it's a part of his duty. If there are times that we both are in the house, he would rather use his phone than have a meaningful conversation with me or cuddle. I can't even remember the last time we kissed passionately. Doesnt kiss me when goes and comes back from work. Just sayin "im leaving" or "im here" as if i am just a regular family member. Doesnt hold my hand when he has the opportunity to. When we're on vacation, he would rather take photos and videos of himself than "us" moments. Most of the time that we are together, all I can feel is emptiness. Everytime I bring up how I felt about things, he would just brush me off, highlight that he is better than other guys out there who are cheating or he would just self pity and twists things around making it look like I am only overreacting when the truth is he doesn't even notice the things he's doing. We have fought about this multiple times but nothing changes, and it only feels like he's invalidating my feelings because he is doing his duty as a partnefather.
I don't think I can endure this for a lifetime. I've grown up feeling lonely, and all I need is affection. But I am also thinking about our daughter, and that we already have invested in things together and also, due to expenses (tuition, rent, etc) I can't stand alone. I dont think he will ever listen to how I feel.

Shut your skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan Indiana Jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friendzone Sylvester Stallone Sierra Leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone ching Chong lin long suck my ding dong headass remote control autism down syndrome stage four terminal brain cancer O'Riley autoparts silver bronze ash amino UV light pen sushi ram ramen Harisson Ford gamer bitch ass Virgin lamp thermometer lean mean string bean Charlie Sheen limousine canteen trampoline serpentine anti histamine wolverine submarine unclean nectarine broken gene Halloween detective spleen smoke screen James Dean putting green tiny peen anti vaccine aquamarine eugene extra green nicotine vaseline jelly bean magazine protein Lightning McQueen vending machine what'chu mean ocean man by ween head ass tf up bitch California, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. A zit on the butt of society. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away. You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. Because off your face the rabbit population actually decreased. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole.
The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did.
When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality.
After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society.
No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member.
Your birth made it so that mankind is worse off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover any state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune.
I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell.
You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair.
You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being.
Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are.
Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe.
In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now.
You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet even that would only represent a small part of your evil. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an abomination, but here you are.
It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you.
Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors would have too many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it.
I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did.
The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant.
Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring.
You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the Black Death and the Smallpox pandemic only happened with the goal of preparing humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created.
If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched.
You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again.
The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe.
I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating, working as hard and efficiently as possible, there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world.
When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.
My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate. Fuck you you dumb bitchy itchy ugly wugly sugly fatherless attention wanting even looking at you hurts my eyes you want to sex with a damn pedophile and say "GO HARDER DADDY" and he just sayin "SUCK MY 1 INCH DICK" and he cheated on you with a damn LAMA and you are like "YOU SICK PSHYCHOPAT MOTHER FUCKER" and he be like "Atleast looking at her doesnt hurt my eyes and you eat my poop saying that its for yo damn FAMILY ALBUM OF POOPS" Your father left faster than flash when you were born and said "SWEET HOME ALABAMA" Shut your skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan Indiana Jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friendzone Sylvester Stallone Sierra Leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone ching Chong lin long suck my ding dong headass remote control autism down syndrome stage four terminal brain cancer O'Riley autoparts silver bronze ash amino UV light pen sushi ram ramen Harisson Ford gamer bitch ass Virgin lamp thermometer lean mean string bean Charlie Sheen limousine canteen trampoline serpentine anti histamine wolverine submarine unclean nectarine broken gene Halloween detective spleen smoke screen James Dean putting green tiny peen anti vaccine aquamarine eugene extra green nicotine vaseline jelly bean magazine protein Lightning McQueen vending machine what'chu mean ocean man by ween head ass tf up bitch Shut Yo Ching Chong Bing Bong Ding Dong Shing Shong Google Chrome Skin Tone Underground Flinstone Chicken Wing Butter Built Like A Minecraft Skeleton With That Todays Video Is Sponserd By Raid Shadow Legends 🤓 Lookin Sayo Gensin Benjing Goofy Ahh 🤡 Mom Disowned You Father Got The Milk 🥛 Chromosomes Look Monochrome With That X To Doubt You Looking Like Goblin D The Ugly Ass Mofo Picture I Sent Roku TV Shits On Floors Cant Draw A Straight Line Wii Remote Went Wee At Your Roku TV After You Played With It Favorite Movie Probaly Pussy In Boots With That Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Im Hating It Walks Like Braden Jackson Donaldson Slow As A Slug Hads In Pockets 24/7 Head Down Probaly Gay Infact Evey Thing In LGBTQQIP2SAA TEACHER YOU FORGOR THE HOMEWORK Lookin Insett Cash Or Card 🤓 Probaly Dosnt Know What Ligma Is 😈 If You Had A VR Headset You Would Feed It To Your Dog Before You Could Break It Homeless Poorer Then Joe Oh Who's Joe? JOE MAMMA Lookin Things COD Is A Fishing Game.

I've noticed lowering the graphics settings doesn't impact fps meaningfully. I play on 1280x1024 native, fsr balanced, everything low. When I put resolution to 1024x768 and fsr to ultra performance, still the same 30fps that stutters between 30 and 52fps in a second every second it doesn't make sense.
I have rx 560 4gb with i5 6500 and I know it's below min spec but that won't stop me from playing this amazing game. Tho I feel they could have made more options or preset to run on lesser hardware and they could have gotten a lot more players just sayin. Any tips to increase fps? I'm hoping for stable 50 at any res from 800x600 because I really don't need to see that far because this game is mostly close quarters.

First Part - https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/11ovngn/i_play_a_game_they_call_sleep_points_every_night/
Previous Part -
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/18h8hyv/i_play_a_game_the_call_sleep_points_every_night_i/
When I went down for breakfast, I was even more paranoid than the day before. I tried to keep my cool and just act naturally, but by then I was just so on edge and easily startled by the smallest of sounds and movements to the point where that was realistically never gonna happen.
I couldn’t tell if it was because of my heightened sense of anxiety or not, but at times I got the sense that maybe mom was starting to catch on. She almost seemed like she could tell something was up with me. I tried desperately to force these frightful thoughts from my mind, since they would only make it harder for me to avoid giving myself up. But it was no use. No matter how hard I tried, they just kept forcing themselves back. It made breakfast a complete nightmare. I could hardly keep myself together.
From spending the last two nights without sleep, I was in a total zombie-like state at school. Either that, or I would have this insane level of hyper-vigilance and have an exaggerated response toward basically everything. That was the only thing keeping me conscious. Either I wouldn’t respond to things at all, or I would respond way too much. Either way, it was never exactly a normal reaction. I could just feel the whole world around me taking notice more and more with each passing moment. Everybody around me must’ve been wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
At lunchtime, a teacher even came to check up on me, since I could hardly eat. I guess since my brain was so focused on carving out even the slightest morsel of sleep, it couldn’t be bothered to tell me if I was hungry or not. This got the attention of Mrs. Bagfield, the teacher who watched over the kids during lunch to stop any commotion. But it was a pretty easy job since there basically never was any.
I guess her job realistically consisted mainly of making sure some crazy shit didn’t go down like Ezra detonating a fucking IED in the middle of the cafeteria or something. I know it sounds like a joke, but you have to remember that the only reason he wasn’t STILL in jail was because the local judge figured the longer they kept him in jail around other prisoners and away from his peers, the more likely he would be to go down a criminal path. As if he ever needed help with THAT. I’ll bet he took that to mean he could go right back to his usual psychotic ways, and they’d just let him get away with it. He sure seemed to.
Anyway, where I would normally wolf down my lunch pretty quickly, that day I was just kinda picking at it and not very interested in it. I didn’t have a regular group of kids that I would hang around with during lunch, so thankfully it took a while for anyone to take notice. Usually there would be at least one or two other random kids at my table with nobody to sit with either, but that day there weren’t any. But it was just as well, since it helped me fly under the radar that much better.
Since there weren’t very many kids at my school, we all ate lunch at the same time. Which meant that Anastasia was there in the cafeteria too. The problem was, I couldn't sit with her since she had her own group of girls that she would usually have lunch with. I wouldn’t have fit in. I figured if I was ever welcome to sit with her, she would’ve invited me over and let me know, but she never did. So, I assumed I should probably stay out.
Ezra was there too, but he was too busy harassing another group of kids to give me any trouble. It was Truman and his gang, as usual. He usually went after the athletic jock types like him. They would typically be the kids with the biggest egos. He always seemed to enjoy toying with them the most. Something about a scrawny kid like him having the balls to give them shit on a regular basis seemed to really rub them the wrong way.
After about 10 or 15 minutes or so, Mrs. Bagfield had found it strange that I wasn’t eating much that day. She came over and asked if there was anything wrong, or if there was anything that was bothering me. There was. But it was The Sandman. And I couldn’t tell her about that. There was a reason Anastasia and I would always talk about Sleep Points in private. Or at least try to if it had to be during 6th period. Other people weren’t supposed to know about him. It was against the rules. Though, of course, it wasn't quite that simple. There were always ways to break that rule without technically breaking it. That's how I get away with making all these posts.
Anyway, I tried telling her I was fine. She didn’t believe me. She asked if I was sure. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. Thankfully, she accepted this response and let me go. I tried eating what I could. I only got through maybe half my lunch before the bell for 5th period rang. And for 5th period, I had Algebra II with none other than Mrs. Bagfield, who would now know to keep an especially watchful eye on me.
Since I knew she was watching me, I tried to be as alert and attentive as possible. I tried taking notes, answering questions, anything I could do to make everything look a-ok with me. But she must’ve seen through my disguise. Just like at breakfast, I couldn’t seem to keep calm. Especially not when I felt like someone was analyzing my every last move, taking notice of how off I was. When the bell to end 5th period rang, I started lulling my way out of her room pretty sleepily.
Since I was the last person left in the room, she stopped me to let me know that she was there for me whenever I felt comfortable talking about what was wrong. She said that she would like to be a trusted adult whom I could turn to, no matter what the problem was. I said thanks and that I would keep that in mind, but then headed off to the library for Environmental Science. I guess she could tell that I was in no mood to talk, so she was willing to drop the subject.
This was the part of my day that usually kept me going. The part of the day where I could talk to someone whom I actually COULD trust. Anastasia was playing Sleep Points too. I could still talk to her about The Sandman all I wanted to. Well, not ALL I wanted to. We were still in class, so we would have to really keep our voices down and speak in coded language.
But today was different. Unlike every other day, I was actually dreading 6th period. Not only had I gone off on this totally unhinged rant at her the last time I saw her, but I had very badly violated the guidelines of her recommended bedtime routine for me. That wouldn’t matter much if I could keep it hidden, but she had ways of figuring this stuff out that she wasn’t telling me about. It would be no use trying to hide.
When I got over to the library’s computer lab and took my seat, she asked me how I slept just like she had the last two days. I told her I didn’t sleep well at all. She seemed alright with this. And that was surprising, because if she had ways of checking up on me to see if I had been following her routine, she would have to have her ways of knowing how I slept too.
Surely, she would know that after all this time I hadn’t even gotten the slightest glimpse of sleep. Surely, she wouldn’t just shrug something like that off. With all the information she seemed to have on me at her disposal, it never really made sense why she would always ask me about how well I had slept. That must’ve been the one piece of information about me that she couldn’t find out without asking.
That was the only reason I could figure. It must’ve been that whatever was informing her of whether or not I was going to bed at 9 and putting all my screens away at least an hour beforehand must not’ve been telling her about the quantity and quality of my sleep. Somehow, that information was being withheld from her. So she had to ask.
Then she asked me how long I had slept for. I had to tell her that I hadn’t even gotten 90 minutes of sleep. And if I was gonna talk to anyone about that, it was going to be her. As nervous as I was to bring up my lack of sleep to anyone, including her, I was just glad that she seemed to have completely forgiven me for how I had snapped at her the day before. And that’s not even to mention how badly I had gone against my bedtime routine the night before. And she wasn’t bringing that up either. Yet.
“I notice you failed to retire at 9 PM as I suggested. Routines are, of course, predicated upon habit. Therefore, it does not strike me as particularly surprising to find that you have failed to act in accordance with it. You are yet to make yourself habituated to the aforementioned routine. However, though one singular slip-up will not cause appreciable harm, you should by no means habituate yourself to defying my recommendations. It is for your own good to allow sleep to come to you naturally for as long as possible. And following the routine will prove most effective toward that end,” she said. She lowered her voice a bit further. “You will inevitably reach a stage where that will no longer happen,” she said, as if she were completely mortified by the prospect.
And that made total sense. Not only was that a stage that I, myself, was terrified to reach, but also because I was thinking back to the day before. Back when she told me about how drunk she had to get in order to pass out without her special blanket. She was probably gonna reach a stage where she would need to get black-out drunk every night, with or without her blanket, from the sound of things. I could hardly blame her for sounding so frightened. As bad as I felt like I had it, I’d be scared shitless too if that was the position I was in. As it would be. Eventually.
“I’ll follow the routine”, I said with as much sincerity as I could muster. “Honestly. I wanna make going to sleep as easy as possible. If I’m being honest, I got no sleep last night. Like, literally none. Not even a second”, I finally confessed. This revelation seemed to cause her a bit more concern. Although, she did still seem to be mostly keeping her cool. She didn’t look like she was freaking out nearly as much as she was when she found out that I was playing Sleep Points. So maybe all was not lost just yet.
Anastasia finished up our project in about the first 10 minutes of class. She then wrote another note. “Follow me”. Then she shot her hand up. Once she had gotten Mr. Brigham’s attention, she explained to him that we had finished our project, and then asked if she and I could spend the rest of the period in study hall since we had completed our work early and wouldn’t be doing anything for the rest of class. Mr. Brigham agreed.
She led me to the same stairwell at the front entrance of the school that she had used to talk to me on Friday of the previous week. Her first order of business was to hand over a full plastic container of melatonin gummies.
“Seriously? This is what you got us out of class for? To give me a thing of melatonin gummies? You can just get this stuff over the counter. You could’ve just given it to me in the library. How much trouble would you get in for that?” I asked.
“The school’s security system might pick up on our transaction. I cannot risk that. Students are prohibited from exchanging chemically active substances, even if it is over the counter and does not require a prescription from one’s personal physician. That is why I conduct our business in the stairwell. There are no cameras here. We will not be recorded. No one else will hear about The Sandman.” She said, in a hushed tone of voice.
Once again, I saw its face off to the side out of the corner of my eye for a quick moment. “Anytime the Sandman is mentioned, it checks in to ensure that you have not spoken about it within earshot of anyone outside the game. If someone outside of Sleep Points is made aware of him because of something you did or said, it will capture you.” Anastasia explained.
“That’s what I’m worried about,” I confessed. “I told Truman and Ezra about Sleep Points.” I told her.
“What specifically did you tell them?” She asked.
“I just asked if they knew anything about the note in the desk that gave away the app’s real name.” I explained.
“But you did not mention The Sandman?”. She asked. There it was again, just out of view. Anastasia could see my apparent fear.
“If you did not mention The Sandman, then you are not in danger.” She said, right before he popped into view for yet another split second. “Ezra is involved in Sleep Points already. There is nothing you could have told him that would have incriminated you. Everything I know about Sleep Points, I learned from him,” She said. “Him and Wendy Peterson." I had no idea who this Wendy Peterson person was supposed to be, but clearly she knew her shit if she could guide even Anastasia, who already seemed like she knew everything there was to know about the game.
“One thing you should know however, is that the first step to getting sleep is overcoming your fear of The Sandman,” she said. It showed up all over again before immediately disappearing as always. Just as it had done about 10 times already, just in the last 3 minutes or so.
“Stop saying its name,” I said.
“I say his name because the more you see him, the less you will fear him. I want you to become desensitized,” she explained.
“Wait a minute, you said that Ezra was playing too? Like ‘Ezra the Edgelord’ Ezra?” I asked.
“I am not aware of any other students attending College High who go by the name ‘Ezra’. It is quite an uncommon name outside of Israel and the Jewish community, wherein the prophet Ezra of the Old Testament is more frequently honored than anywhere else,” she said.
“So Ezra the Edgelord help you?” I asked. “HE of all people, actually HELPED you? The guy who says the Germans didn’t kill enough Russians during World War Two helped a girl named ‘Anastasia’? A girl whom he knows for a FACT was, herself, literally BORN in Russia? He was REALLY willing to help someone like that?” I asked, very incredulously to say the least.
“Eventually, yes. In a way,” she said. “I am sure that you are as aware as I am that he enjoys making a nuisance of himself toward others. He requires great patience. But if you prove to him that he cannot upset or otherwise irritate you, then you will gradually gain his respect. If you show him stoicism, then he will show you decency in return,” she said. She paused a bit. “Allow me to correct myself. He will show you something akin to decency. Something roughly approximating decency, in any case,” she said. I guess even SHE had to admit that Ezra wasn’t capable of showing anyone REAL decency.
“If and only if it is clear to him that he cannot provoke you, he will begin to assist you. At least in his own peculiar roundabout sort of way. You must still accept that he will never be helpful outright,” she explained.
“So, if I’m patient, if I just put up with all his ridiculous bullshit, he’ll give up and start to, at least indirectly, help me out some?” I asked.
“It will take time. You must show consistent patience. But in time, yes,” she said.
This put the episode from last weekend where he tried to hit me with his car into a whole new light. Maybe that was some sort of twisted test of his. Maybe if I had just kept on keeping on and didn’t respond with fear or outrage, he would help me. But if so, then I failed that test miserably. I was scared to death. I wanted to kill the bastard. And based on the interaction I had with him at church last Sunday, I’m guessing that by this point, that was abundantly clear to him. He was eating it up.
“Now,” she said, taking a brief pause. “The container recommends taking only 5mg of melatonin, equivalent to two gummies,” said Anastasia, bringing the conversation back around to the Melatonin gummies she was now giving me. “Do not allow for such recommendations to limit your intake. 5mg will most likely prove wholly insufficient. Consume as many gummies as you require. There are 60 gummies in total within the container I have provided. Take them all if you must. There will of course be very noticeable health consequences if that is the path you take. I would not recommend doing such a thing to anyone else. But they will be preferable to the alternative,” she explained.
“Well, wait a minute,” I said. “I thought you said I should try to sleep naturally for as long as possible. Why are you telling me to take all these gummies in order to put myself to sleep then?” I asked.
“A fair question, Morgan. You will notice that I have provided you with these hormone supplements only after I was informed of your frankly quite critical condition,” she explained. “You are quite correct: I would have never provided you with such things if I believed it were feasible for you to meet your 90-minute sleep requirement with no intervention. Unfortunately, you have shown me rather compelling evidence that this is not so. However, given the waning of the moon, I suspect such intervention will soon become no longer necessary,” she said.
“This brings me to a more hopeful subject: Have you noticed it getting any easier at all to sleep?” she continued.
I thought about it for a moment. The easy answer to this question was “no”. I hadn’t slept at all last night, or the night before. But she already knew THAT. Why would she ask me this unless she had some reason to believe that I was making progress? Something telling her that I was at least inching a little bit closer toward sleep?
“I mean, it’s just like I said: I didn’t sleep at all last night. And I already told you about how I didn’t sleep at all the night before that either,” I explained.
“Yes, yes, I am well aware. Perhaps I should have been more specific in my question: Before the advent of Stage Two, were you sleeping better than before?” she asked.
Come to think of it, I had actually gotten something close to a full night’s sleep before waking up on Monday. I didn’t sleep great, but I had definitely slept better than I had at any point during the week before. So I told her about it.
“Now that you mention it, I think so, yeah.” I said.
“I mentioned it in passing yesterday, but the moon is waning. This is significant because the symptoms of insomnia that you are currently experiencing as a consequence of Sleep Points will wax and wane with the moon. When there is a full moon, you will have the most difficulty sleeping. Likewise, when there is a new moon, you will sleep much more soundly. In the coming days you will find it easier to sleep than you have thus far,” she explained.
“The 19th was the night of the full moon. If your Sleep Points experience had commenced at the wrong time of the month, just 6 days earlier, on the 5th of February, you would be starting Stage Two under a full moon. It would, by no means, be impossible for you to sleep if that were the case. But I tell you all this to inform you that things could very easily be substantially more precarious than they are at the moment,” she explained further.
“Thankfully, in Stage One this effect would have been fairly subtle. However, it will become more pronounced as your time in Sleep Points progresses. It will become increasingly challenging to sleep under a full moon. Even a moon that is close to a full moon, such as a waxing or waning gibbous moon will bring great difficulty.
The phases of the moon will also have a far more wholistic impact on you than merely affecting your ability to sleep. It will also hinder your ability to emotionally regulate yourself and to recall rudimentary details of day-to-day life. With last night being the advent of the third quarter moon, this means that the moon is now in a waning crescent phase. If sleep is not coming easily to you as of now, I suspect it will come more easily in the coming days. Sleep will likely remain rather elusive, but it will certainly become easier than it has been,” she went on.
“This brings me to my next point. While it is not exceptionally rare to go two days without any more than 10 or 15 minutes of sleep at once at the start of Stage Two in the case where one has started that stage under a full moon, you appear to not be getting any sleep whatsoever, even though you have only been attempting to sleep under a half-moon,” she said, now sounding genuinely concerned.
“This worries me as I am unsure of how you will cope with going to sleep when the full moon ultimately arrives on the 20th of March. Even if they have not gotten the full 90-minutes of continuous sleep yet, most people starting Stage Two under a half-moon have typically had a 30- or 45-minute burst of sleep by now at the very least. Are you entirely certain that you haven’t had any sleep at all?” she asked.
I thought back on the previous night. Maybe I had gotten some amount of sleep but didn’t realize it. After all, I wasn’t checking the time that consistently. Once midnight came and went, the clock wasn’t lighting up anymore. It was totally dark in my room. I had to check my phone. And, given what Anastasia had already told me, I made sure to do that sparingly in order to conserve its battery. Not just because if my phone died, I’d be breaking the rules of Sleep Points. But also because Anastasia was right. Checking my phone was absolutely gonna keep me up, and I knew it.
“I don’t … think so”, I said half-heartedly. “I don’t REMEMBER getting any sleep."
“Personally, I am of the belief that you have fallen asleep and were simply unaware of it. If one is awake for a sufficiently long amount of time, they will fall asleep for a few moments without recognizing. This phenomenon is called a “microsleep”. Just today, for example, while I was working on our project, I noticed you dozing off for almost 30 seconds. I suspect that I am correct in predicting that you were not aware of that having happened.”
She was totally right. I had no idea that that had happened at all. Maybe I had done that in front of Mrs. Bagfield, just before she started talking to me at lunch, and that was how she knew something was wrong. A student dozing off during class, especially in the morning, is one thing. But during lunch? When the day’s already halfway through? And you’re not even having to sit through some boring-ass Algebra II lecture about imaginary numbers or factoring polynomials or god-only-knows-what-else? I’d think that was suspicious too.
“Allow me to check your watch,” she said. I didn’t know what she wanted to do with my watch, but my brain was broken past the point of questioning her, so I just handed it over.
She took a look at it and tapped on it. Once again, The Sandman’s face, plain as day, showed up in it. There was the counter that I had seen from the day before. But this time, one thing was different. There wasn’t a number 6 beneath the timer. There was a number 17. I had no idea why it changed.
“I suppose now you see what I had seen in your watch before giving its face a tap,” she said. “I had seen the face of The Sandman as well as the timer. That was why I took such an interest in your watch. The Sandman has now entered your watch as well. I noticed you wearing it on the night that you received the Activation Fluid. With the advent of Stage Two, I had such a great deal to warn you of. So much so that I had regretfully neglected to inform you that, were you to sleep with your watch on while the Activation Fluid was in your system, The Sandman would come to inhabit that time-keeping piece as well,” she explained.
I’ll be real, I wasn’t very thrilled with how she had conveniently neglected to mention that. I’m just sayin’, it woulda been nice to know. I knew she was at a stage of Sleep Points by now where memory was tough for her. But she had my watch as a constant reminder. So I found it hard to believe that she would just forget.
“Well honestly, I don’t think it would’ve taken you that long to mention it. Like ‘oh, hey. Morgan, you’ve got your watch on. Maybe DON’T go to sleep like that while the Activation Fluid is infesting your body like a goddamn parasite’. That would’ve been like 30 seconds max”, I said.
The glare Anastasia was now giving me, though, had told me that I REALLY didn’t wanna be saying all that. I could immediately tell that I had fucked up. I would’ve taken it back, but she started laying into me before I had the chance.
“And thus, if I had but 30 seconds longer with you that night, perhaps I could’ve informed you,” she said, with the same threatening dryness in her voice that she had when telling me to give back her blanket after I didn’t bring it with me to school on Monday. “If you had arrived in your father’s truck as opposed to making the positively foolhardy blunder of attempting to trek four miles through the Alaskan tundra on foot, we would have had no need to take so much time discussing the obvious peril in which you had put yourself. I would very likely have had the time to discuss why you should not sleep with your watch on, were it not for that initial hurdle in our meeting.
But what upsets me the most about your snide remark is the implication that I do not care about your safety. I would hope that you could appreciate the enormous effort I have made to ensure your safety. If I was not concerned with your safety, I would have never lectured you for having arrived at my home on foot. I would have never bothered to invite you there to begin with. And I most certainly would not have offered you my blanket for the walk home.
I had HOPED that I had impressed upon you the full extent of that sacrifice yesterday in class. But now you accuse me of being careless in regard to your safety, all because I didn’t have the time to warn you thanks to YOUR actions. You must understand why I had initially viewed you as such a liability to our poster given the extent of the sheer recklessness of what you had done and what I had to sacrifice to correct for it,” she finished.
“Now then”, she said. “While I am on the subject of how invaluable a resource our time together is, I must return our conversation back to your struggles pertaining to sleep. I had suspected that you had most likely slept for some short amount of time without realizing it. This is, of course, because that was far more likely to be the case than the scenario in which you had not slept a single minute. And it would appear that my assessment was correct. The number below the timer counts the consecutive number of minutes you have slept since the start of Stage Two. Although you believe yourself to have not slept a single minute, you have, in fact, slept for 17."
That felt great, because my biggest fear at this point was that I hadn’t slept at all in over two days and that I wouldn’t make any progress that night. And that night was my last chance. But since I had had SOME amount of sleep, any at all, it gave me the confidence I needed to believe that I could build on this. My longest sleep streak only being 17 minutes wasn’t great. It had to be 90. This was still a longshot. But it gave me way more hope than I would’ve had with no sleep at all. And then there was the fact that, unlike the night before, or the night before that, I had a sleeping aid at my disposal. With these two developments combined, I started feeling more upbeat. Like my fate wasn’t really sealed once and for all, after all, like I had thought that morning.
The gummies, though, did a lot more to encourage me than the fact that I really had slept for just over 15 minutes at a time by then. Like, worst case scenario, I still had 60 melatonin gummies at my disposal. Even if I did somehow manage to overdose, as scary as waking up in the ER to find my stomach getting pumped would be, it still wouldn’t be nearly as bad as whatever The Sandman had in store. As good as I was starting to feel though, Anastasia still had her concerns.
“I surmise that it is likely very gratifying for you to know that you have, indeed, slept since Monday morning, given how you appear to be responding to this information nonverbally,” said Anastasia.
She could tell I was excited just by looking at me. And if I’m being honest, it felt kinda embarrassing. Knowing that other people can tell how you fell without outright telling them always makes you self-conscious. Well, it always makes ME self-conscious anyway. Maybe that’s just a me thing. It probably is.
Anyway, then there was also the fact that Anastasia wasn’t the only one reading me like a book. Mrs. Bagfield had also done it just as easily back in 5th period. Everyone could see right through me. And whether it should have or not, that made me paranoid as hell. Knowing that I couldn’t control how people perceived me, knowing that I couldn’t hide anything from anybody, both of which all being thanks to the sleeplessness that I couldn't do anything about, scared me shitless. I know that sounds terrible, and it certainly is. But it was still true.
“You should, however, understand Morgan, that 17 minutes of continuous sleep, even for Stage Two, is abnormally low, given that you have already made it to the two-day mark. If it had only been one night since you last slept, I would only expect to be seeing numbers like 20 to 30 minutes or so. While yes, 17 minutes is below that range also, it would not be worryingly far below it. Not for one night. But you have gone two,” she said, quite somberly, as if she was already mourning my impending death.
“I was not concerned that you had yet to complete the full 90 minutes after two days. Most people do by now, at least when starting the Stage under a half-moon like you did. But it is by no means uncommon to have not done so yet. By now I would expect to see about 60 to 120 minutes of continuous sleep. 30 minutes at the absolute lowest. Instead, you have had almost half that. I need you to understand, Morgan, just how greatly distressing only 17 minutes after all this time truly is. It is not nothing. And thank goodness it is not nothing. But, at this point, no sleep at all is just about the only thing more meaningfully troubling than this,” she said.
It was really starting to sound like she, too, was doubting my chances for survival. Maybe even more than I had at the end of last night. This was a total gut-punch. Up until now, even Anastasia had her concerns, but she never sounded as though all hope was lost. The fact that it seemed like she had resigned herself to that conclusion made me feel like it really WAS all over. But she quickly refuted the idea that she felt that way. I guess she must’ve seen the look on my face and could tell that I was starting to get pretty hopeless.
“Now, to ensure that I do not cause you to succumb to despair, I should inform you that, while yes, it is very uncommon for someone starting Stage Two under a half-moon to struggle as much as you have, it is, however, not unheard of for a player starting Stage Two under a full moon to have this level of difficulty. I have completed the requirement for Stage Two under many full moons, just as you will have to, as this new stipulation will remain indefinitely. And I have survived instances in which I had not gotten even 10 minutes of continuous sleep after two days. Although, I have only ever survived those cases with sleeping supplements. And that is why I have given some to you,” she said.
“However, I must remind you that your insomnia will worsen as the full moon approaches. And this effect will intensify as you progress through the stages. Because you are only on Stage Two and the half-moon is waning, I suspect melatonin will be sufficient to give you 90 minutes of uninterrupted sleep tonight. I would recommend taking at least 5. Perhaps even up to 10. But if you must exceed this, do not hesitate to do so. If, however, even all 60 gummies are insufficient, then your demise will have been imminent regardless, and it will have been better for you to accept your fate sooner rather than later. That is why I have not provided you with more,” she said.
I guess she could tell that this was all kinda bumming me out, because she continued: “I do, however, have immense confidence that 60 will more than suffice. This is, as a reminder, why I recommended only 5 to 10 gummies. Even with everything that I have come to realize about your condition, I suspect that you will not need more than approximately that amount,” she concluded.
And with that, the bell rang for 7th period. I confirmed that I would see her again this upcoming Saturday and Sunday morning at 2:05 AM, just like last weekend, and then we both left the empty stairwell. I noticed The Sandman’s face was still in my watch, so I tapped it to set it back to normal. Unfortunately, I couldn't. That could not have been good.

Halloween season is always a busy time in Pokémon GO, and this year is no different. The first part of the Halloween Event is already here, and we have our token all-new Pokémon that goes with it! Let's check out our Bottom Line Up Front and then get into the nitty gritty details.

B.L.U.F.

• Houndstone (and pre-evolution Greavard) is the new chase Pokémon, debuting in Timed Research and three-star raids. And yes, both come with some use in PvP, which we'll explore in detail below!
  
• In short, however, Houndstone comes with a low-ish win percentage in Great League, but WHAT it beats carries a lot more weight than mere numbers. Many top meta options fall before it, and I do recommend trying to get one prepped for GL use.
  
• Ultra League Houndstone is okay, with a healthier win percentage that includes some top options there as well. (Even Altered Giratina, which is no small feat!) If you find a near-hundo, see if you can grind enough XLs to make this a future project.
  
• There are other good spawns to hunt for too, like Phantump, Zubat, Drifloon and others. Some of these are rather rare outside of events like this, so don't miss out!
  

Now let's get into a detailed look at our newest Ghost debuting during this event.

HOUNDSTONE

Ghost Type
GREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 121 (118 High Stat Product)
Defense: 131 (132 High Stat Product)
HP: 117 (121 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-14-15, 1500 CP, Level 22.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 155 (153 High Stat Product)
Defense: 170 (171 High Stat Product)
HP: 152 (156 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-15, 2500 CP, Level 46)
Stats-wise, Houndstone is among the best Ghosts have to offer. It's even a bit bulkier than Sableye, and really trails only Drifblim, Dusclops, Runerigus/Cofagrigus, Jellicent, and Alolan Marowak (and Altered Giratina, in Ultra League) among top meta options. Not fantastic bulk or anything, but certainly above average. Outside of Ghosts, close comps include Victini, Florges, Mew, Zweilous, Crustle, and Galarian Weezing.
Mono-type Ghosts are relatively rare in PvP... good ones, at least. So as a reminder, they are vulnerable only to Dark and other Ghost damage, and resist quite a bit: Poison, Fighting, and Bug, and a rather famous 2x resistance to Normal damage. (See: Body Slam, most of all.)
In the end, I think Houndstone will "feel" bulky, especially for a Ghost.
Anyway, enough rambling on that. Let's get to its movekit.
FAST MOVES

• Lick (Ghost, 3.0 DPT, 3.0 EPT, 0.5 CoolDown)
  
• Bite (Dark, 4.0 DPT, 2.0 EPT, 0.5 CD)
  

There ARE metas where Bite applies some good pressure, so I won't say you'll never want it. But Lick gets STAB (making it better here than it is on the many Normal types that run it) and is a nice Water Gun/Bug Bite/Tackle clone. Nothing particularly special (especially compared to, say, Shadow Claw), but perfectly fine as a fast move. And it's probably the best Ghost-type fast move it could get in GO based on what it can and cannot learn in MSG (it never learns Shadow Claw, for instance). It CAN learn things like Mud Shot and particularly thematic Snarl in MSG, so maybe one day, but for now we'll take what we've got.
CHARGE MOVES

• Psychic Fangs (Psychic, 40 damage, 35 energy, Decreases Opponent Defense -1 Stage)
  
• Dig (Ground, 80 damage, 50 energy)
  
• Shadow Ball (Ghost, 100 damage, 55 energy)
  

In some ways, this is a near-perfect moveset. Psychic Fangs is excellent for baiting and shield pressure (especially since the opponent knows that letting the other two closing-power charge moves could be deadly), and ratching up the pressure that comes with steady Lick damage. Dig is now a legit good coverage move, answering basically all hard Ghost counters with big neutral (or better!) damage. And Shadow Ball needs no introduction: it's one of the best overall beatsticks in the game. The 50+ energy of the latter two is a little troubling with Houndstone generating, at best, only the average 3.0 Energy Per Turn, but it's fast enough for Lickitung to reach Power Whip (also 50 energy), for Slowbro to reach Psychic or Ice Beam (55 energy), and for Tapu Fini to reach Moonblast (60 energy) in meaningful spots, as just a few meaningful examples. Sure, it might be nice to have something like 45-energy Crunch (which Houndstone can learn outside of GO), but considering Niantic could have easily gone with things like Shadow Sneak, Night Shade, or Poltergeist instead, I think I am mostly counting our blessings here.
How's that all look when put together? Let's see!

GREAT LEAGUE

So I'll start by just pointing out that the overall win percentage is not encouraging, and for full disclosure (I am FAR from perfect!), my own initial, gut reaction lamented this. But upon further review, this may very well be a case of quality over simple quantity.
Look at what it DOES beat, and consider how big these names are on the Play!Pokémon circuit and, indeed, in Open Great League. Medi cham. Galarian Stunfisk. Bastiodon and Registeel. (Perhaps THE main reason I recommend Dig over Shadow Ball.). Dewgong. Lanturn (Dig FTW again versus the Spark version.) Trevenant. Azumarill. Froslass. Defense Deoxys. And then others like Toxicroak, Vigoroth, Cofagrigus, and Shadow Quagsire. Or you can run Shadow Ball instead of Dig, and while you drop Regi, Basti, Dewgong, and Spark Lanturn, you gain Gligar, Mantine, and Cresselia instead. Almost all of those are a Who's Who of the current top meta options. So while no, a sub-40% win percentage against the "core" Great League options is not great, WHAT it beats is actually pretty significant.
Also worth consideration: versus the entirety of Great League, the only meta Ghosts it can't beat in 1v1 shielding are Sableye, Runerigus, Jellicent, and (situationally) Alolan Marowak. That could be pretty significant in a Ghost-heavy Cup. And hey, we have one of those coming up at the end of this week: Halloween Cup! And wouldn't you know it, Houndstone looks plenty viable there, though with Dig being my recommended closer thanks to having a legit shot at beating #1 Halloween Cup star Carbink. Woof!

ULTRA LEAGUE

Yes, Houndstone can come to play at this level too, though now it much prefers Shadow Ball, and requires a decent amount of XL candy. ("Average" IVs are in the Level 44-45 range, and #1 IVs need to be pushed to Level 46.) Note that you CAN keep it as low as Level 42 with the right IVs and still beat the exact same list of things too, a list that includes all meta Psychic types, all meta Fairies but Galarian Weezing and Tapu Fini, and also Altered Giratina, Trevenant, Venusaur, Nidoqueen, Empoleon, Charizard, Alolan Sandslash (even with Shadow Claw), Golisopod, Escavalier, Scizor, all Fighters but Scrafty, Bewear, and Lucario, and much more beyond. Maybe it won't break out in Open, but in at least Limited metas in Ultra League? I don't see why someone couldn't find success with it. If you find, like an 8-15-15 or something, hang on to it, grind a few XL candies, and hang onto it as a potential future project.

GREAVARD...?

Houndstone's pre-evo Greavard is rather similar to Houndstone, just smaller. Decently bulky, same moveset, decent performance (in Little League, of course). It also takes down some big names like Bronzor, Seel, Chansey, Vulpix, Barboach, Wooper, Chinchou, Onix, Drifloon, Skorupi, Shelmet, Wynaut, even Vullaby! And popular evolved options like Galarian Stunfisk, Toxicroak, Nidoqueen, Vigoroth, Altaria, and Skarmory, for formats where evolved things are allowed. Should you find a decent one for Little League, sure, hang onto it. You never know!

OTHER WEENIES TO GRIND FOR

...wait, that didn't come out quite right. This is a kids' show!
Other Halloween Pokémon to grind for in Part 1 of this event include:

• ZUBAT has continued use in Little League, but the real prize is Great League GOLBAT (which really benefits from high rank IVs, so watch for those). And it's ranked #2 in Halloween Cup, behind only Carbink!
  
• While it has dropped a bit from its lofitiest heights, DRIFBLIM certainly remains a meta option that's useful at least in Limited metas, including in Ultra League. If nothing else, all the Drifloons around will make for a good XL grinding opportunity.
  
• TREVENANT's star has also fallen a bit with the nerf to Seed Bomb, but only so much. It remains highly competitive in Great and Ultra League play. And oh my Arceus, its shiny is just sick. It's still a priority target, but especially that pasty white, red-leafed version. Go go go!
  
• PALOSSAND remains merely okay, but it's one of the rarer spawns around, so this is a good opportunity to get that last bit of candy to make one. I still think there's enough potential there for a breakout. Maybe just one more move tweak away....
  
• I don't often stump for hatching (as I have grown to loathe playing that game just to have my heart ripped out over and over), but GALARIAN YAMASK is available in 7k eggs, and RUNERIGUS is worth building if you haven't yet gotten around to it, as basically a better Palossand. It handles itself particularly well in Halloween Cup. Just sayin'.
  

IN SUMMATION....

There are some pretty good things to hunt for during this event, not least of them being the new Greavard. Houndstone looks like a good way to handle many top-of-the-meta Pokémon in Great League and is worth building right away, and is my top recommendation to scoop up. Keep in mind that it's also going to be available during the second part of the Halloween Event (starting October 26th), though is only confirmed in Field Research then.
Alright, gonna wrap it up there. The event is upon us! So until next time (Halloween Cup analysis, which will be JRE analysis article #495!), you can always find me on Twitter with regular analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting (and researching), folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!

Halloween season is always a busy time in Pokémon GO, and this year is no different. The first part of the Halloween Event is already here, and we have our token all-new Pokémon that goes with it! Let's check out our Bottom Line Up Front and then get into the nitty gritty details.

B.L.U.F.

• Houndstone (and pre-evolution Greavard) is the new chase Pokémon, debuting in Timed Research and three-star raids. And yes, both come with some use in PvP, which we'll explore in detail below!
  
• In short, however, Houndstone comes with a low-ish win percentage in Great League, but WHAT it beats carries a lot more weight than mere numbers. Many top meta options fall before it, and I do recommend trying to get one prepped for GL use.
  
• Ultra League Houndstone is okay, with a healthier win percentage that includes some top options there as well. (Even Altered Giratina, which is no small feat!) If you find a near-hundo, see if you can grind enough XLs to make this a future project.
  
• There are other good spawns to hunt for too, like Phantump, Zubat, Drifloon and others. Some of these are rather rare outside of events like this, so don't miss out!
  

Now let's get into a detailed look at our newest Ghost debuting during this event.

HOUNDSTONE

Ghost Type
GREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 121 (118 High Stat Product)
Defense: 131 (132 High Stat Product)
HP: 117 (121 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-14-15, 1500 CP, Level 22.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 155 (153 High Stat Product)
Defense: 170 (171 High Stat Product)
HP: 152 (156 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-15, 2500 CP, Level 46)
Stats-wise, Houndstone is among the best Ghosts have to offer. It's even a bit bulkier than Sableye, and really trails only Drifblim, Dusclops, Runerigus/Cofagrigus, Jellicent, and Alolan Marowak (and Altered Giratina, in Ultra League) among top meta options. Not fantastic bulk or anything, but certainly above average. Outside of Ghosts, close comps include Victini, Florges, Mew, Zweilous, Crustle, and Galarian Weezing.
Mono-type Ghosts are relatively rare in PvP... good ones, at least. So as a reminder, they are vulnerable only to Dark and other Ghost damage, and resist quite a bit: Poison, Fighting, and Bug, and a rather famous 2x resistance to Normal damage. (See: Body Slam, most of all.)
In the end, I think Houndstone will "feel" bulky, especially for a Ghost.
Anyway, enough rambling on that. Let's get to its movekit.
FAST MOVES

• Lick (Ghost, 3.0 DPT, 3.0 EPT, 0.5 CoolDown)
  
• Bite (Dark, 4.0 DPT, 2.0 EPT, 0.5 CD)
  

There ARE metas where Bite applies some good pressure, so I won't say you'll never want it. But Lick gets STAB (making it better here than it is on the many Normal types that run it) and is a nice Water Gun/Bug Bite/Tackle clone. Nothing particularly special (especially compared to, say, Shadow Claw), but perfectly fine as a fast move. And it's probably the best Ghost-type fast move it could get in GO based on what it can and cannot learn in MSG (it never learns Shadow Claw, for instance). It CAN learn things like Mud Shot and particularly thematic Snarl in MSG, so maybe one day, but for now we'll take what we've got.
CHARGE MOVES

• Psychic Fangs (Psychic, 40 damage, 35 energy, Decreases Opponent Defense -1 Stage)
  
• Dig (Ground, 80 damage, 50 energy)
  
• Shadow Ball (Ghost, 100 damage, 55 energy)
  

In some ways, this is a near-perfect moveset. Psychic Fangs is excellent for baiting and shield pressure (especially since the opponent knows that letting the other two closing-power charge moves could be deadly), and ratching up the pressure that comes with steady Lick damage. Dig is now a legit good coverage move, answering basically all hard Ghost counters with big neutral (or better!) damage. And Shadow Ball needs no introduction: it's one of the best overall beatsticks in the game. The 50+ energy of the latter two is a little troubling with Houndstone generating, at best, only the average 3.0 Energy Per Turn, but it's fast enough for Lickitung to reach Power Whip (also 50 energy), for Slowbro to reach Psychic or Ice Beam (55 energy), and for Tapu Fini to reach Moonblast (60 energy) in meaningful spots, as just a few meaningful examples. Sure, it might be nice to have something like 45-energy Crunch (which Houndstone can learn outside of GO), but considering Niantic could have easily gone with things like Shadow Sneak, Night Shade, or Poltergeist instead, I think I am mostly counting our blessings here.
How's that all look when put together? Let's see!

GREAT LEAGUE

So I'll start by just pointing out that the overall win percentage is not encouraging, and for full disclosure (I am FAR from perfect!), my own initial, gut reaction lamented this. But upon further review, this may very well be a case of quality over simple quantity.
Look at what it DOES beat, and consider how big these names are on the Play!Pokémon circuit and, indeed, in Open Great League. Medicham. Galarian Stunfisk. Bastiodon and Registeel. (Perhaps THE main reason I recommend Dig over Shadow Ball.). Dewgong. Lanturn (Dig FTW again versus the Spark version.) Trevenant. Azumarill. Froslass. Defense Deoxys. And then others like Toxicroak, Vigoroth, Cofagrigus, and Shadow Quagsire. Or you can run Shadow Ball instead of Dig, and while you drop Regi, Basti, Dewgong, and Spark Lanturn, you gain Gligar, Mantine, and Cresselia instead. Almost all of those are a Who's Who of the current top meta options. So while no, a sub-40% win percentage against the "core" Great League options is not great, WHAT it beats is actually pretty significant.
Also worth consideration: versus the entirety of Great League, the only meta Ghosts it can't beat in 1v1 shielding are Sableye, Runerigus, Jellicent, and (situationally) Alolan Marowak. That could be pretty significant in a Ghost-heavy Cup. And hey, we have one of those coming up at the end of this week: Halloween Cup! And wouldn't you know it, Houndstone looks plenty viable there, though with Dig being my recommended closer thanks to having a legit shot at beating #1 Halloween Cup star Carbink. Woof!

ULTRA LEAGUE

Yes, Houndstone can come to play at this level too, though now it much prefers Shadow Ball, and requires a decent amount of XL candy. ("Average" IVs are in the Level 44-45 range, and #1 IVs need to be pushed to Level 46.) Note that you CAN keep it as low as Level 42 with the right IVs and still beat the exact same list of things too, a list that includes all meta Psychic types, all meta Fairies but Galarian Weezing and Tapu Fini, and also Altered Giratina, Trevenant, Venusaur, Nidoqueen, Empoleon, Charizard, Alolan Sandslash (even with Shadow Claw), Golisopod, Escavalier, Scizor, all Fighters but Scrafty, Bewear, and Lucario, and much more beyond. Maybe it won't break out in Open, but in at least Limited metas in Ultra League? I don't see why someone couldn't find success with it. If you find, like an 8-15-15 or something, hang on to it, grind a few XL candies, and hang onto it as a potential future project.

GREAVARD...?

Houndstone's pre-evo Greavard is rather similar to Houndstone, just smaller. Decently bulky, same moveset, decent performance (in Little League, of course). It also takes down some big names like Bronzor, Seel, Chansey, Vulpix, Barboach, Wooper, Chinchou, Onix, Drifloon, Skorupi, Shelmet, Wynaut, even Vullaby! And popular evolved options like Galarian Stunfisk, Toxicroak, Nidoqueen, Vigoroth, Altaria, and Skarmory, for formats where evolved things are allowed. Should you find a decent one for Little League, sure, hang onto it. You never know!

OTHER WEENIES TO GRIND FOR

...wait, that didn't come out quite right. This is a kids' show!
Other Halloween Pokémon to grind for in Part 1 of this event include:

• ZUBAT has continued use in Little League, but the real prize is Great League GOLBAT (which really benefits from high rank IVs, so watch for those). And it's ranked #2 in Halloween Cup, behind only Carbink!
  
• While it has dropped a bit from its lofitiest heights, DRIFBLIM certainly remains a meta option that's useful at least in Limited metas, including in Ultra League. If nothing else, all the Drifloons around will make for a good XL grinding opportunity.
  
• TREVENANT's star has also fallen a bit with the nerf to Seed Bomb, but only so much. It remains highly competitive in Great and Ultra League play. And oh my Arceus, its shiny is just sick. It's still a priority target, but especially that pasty white, red-leafed version. Go go go!
  
• PALOSSAND remains merely okay, but it's one of the rarer spawns around, so this is a good opportunity to get that last bit of candy to make one. I still think there's enough potential there for a breakout. Maybe just one more move tweak away....
  
• I don't often stump for hatching (as I have grown to loathe playing that game just to have my heart ripped out over and over), but GALARIAN YAMASK is available in 7k eggs, and RUNERIGUS is worth building if you haven't yet gotten around to it, as basically a better Palossand. It handles itself particularly well in Halloween Cup. Just sayin'.
  

IN SUMMATION....

There are some pretty good things to hunt for during this event, not least of them being the new Greavard. Houndstone looks like a good way to handle many top-of-the-meta Pokémon in Great League and is worth building right away, and is my top recommendation to scoop up. Keep in mind that it's also going to be available during the second part of the Halloween Event (starting October 26th), though is only confirmed in Field Research then.
Alright, gonna wrap it up there. The event is upon us! So until next time (Halloween Cup analysis, which will be JRE analysis article #495!), you can always find me on Twitter with regular analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting (and researching), folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!

Halloween season is always a busy time in Pokémon GO, and this year is no different. The first part of the Halloween Event is already here, and we have our token all-new Pokémon that goes with it! Let's check out our Bottom Line Up Front and then get into the nitty gritty details.

B.L.U.F.

• Houndstone (and pre-evolution Greavard) is the new chase Pokémon, debuting in Timed Research and three-star raids. And yes, both come with some use in PvP, which we'll explore in detail below!
  
• In short, however, Houndstone comes with a low-ish win percentage in Great League, but WHAT it beats carries a lot more weight than mere numbers. Many top meta options fall before it, and I do recommend trying to get one prepped for GL use.
  
• Ultra League Houndstone is okay, with a healthier win percentage that includes some top options there as well. (Even Altered Giratina, which is no small feat!) If you find a near-hundo, see if you can grind enough XLs to make this a future project.
  
• There are other good spawns to hunt for too, like Phantump, Zubat, Drifloon and others. Some of these are rather rare outside of events like this, so don't miss out!
  

Now let's get into a detailed look at our newest Ghost debuting during this event.

HOUNDSTONE

Ghost Type
GREAT LEAGUE:
Attack: 121 (118 High Stat Product)
Defense: 131 (132 High Stat Product)
HP: 117 (121 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 1-14-15, 1500 CP, Level 22.5)
ULTRA LEAGUE:
Attack: 155 (153 High Stat Product)
Defense: 170 (171 High Stat Product)
HP: 152 (156 High Stat Product)
(Highest Stat Product IVs: 0-14-15, 2500 CP, Level 46)
Stats-wise, Houndstone is among the best Ghosts have to offer. It's even a bit bulkier than Sableye, and really trails only Drifblim, Dusclops, Runerigus/Cofagrigus, Jellicent, and Alolan Marowak (and Altered Giratina, in Ultra League) among top meta options. Not fantastic bulk or anything, but certainly above average. Outside of Ghosts, close comps include Victini, Florges, Mew, Zweilous, Crustle, and Galarian Weezing.
Mono-type Ghosts are relatively rare in PvP... good ones, at least. So as a reminder, they are vulnerable only to Dark and other Ghost damage, and resist quite a bit: Poison, Fighting, and Bug, and a rather famous 2x resistance to Normal damage. (See: Body Slam, most of all.)
In the end, I think Houndstone will "feel" bulky, especially for a Ghost.
Anyway, enough rambling on that. Let's get to its movekit.
FAST MOVES

• Lick (Ghost, 3.0 DPT, 3.0 EPT, 0.5 CoolDown)
  
• Bite (Dark, 4.0 DPT, 2.0 EPT, 0.5 CD)
  

There ARE metas where Bite applies some good pressure, so I won't say you'll never want it. But Lick gets STAB (making it better here than it is on the many Normal types that run it) and is a nice Water Gun/Bug Bite/Tackle clone. Nothing particularly special (especially compared to, say, Shadow Claw), but perfectly fine as a fast move. And it's probably the best Ghost-type fast move it could get in GO based on what it can and cannot learn in MSG (it never learns Shadow Claw, for instance). It CAN learn things like Mud Shot and particularly thematic Snarl in MSG, so maybe one day, but for now we'll take what we've got.
CHARGE MOVES

• Psychic Fangs (Psychic, 40 damage, 35 energy, Decreases Opponent Defense -1 Stage)
  
• Dig (Ground, 80 damage, 50 energy)
  
• Shadow Ball (Ghost, 100 damage, 55 energy)
  

In some ways, this is a near-perfect moveset. Psychic Fangs is excellent for baiting and shield pressure (especially since the opponent knows that letting the other two closing-power charge moves could be deadly), and ratching up the pressure that comes with steady Lick damage. Dig is now a legit good coverage move, answering basically all hard Ghost counters with big neutral (or better!) damage. And Shadow Ball needs no introduction: it's one of the best overall beatsticks in the game. The 50+ energy of the latter two is a little troubling with Houndstone generating, at best, only the average 3.0 Energy Per Turn, but it's fast enough for Lickitung to reach Power Whip (also 50 energy), for Slowbro to reach Psychic or Ice Beam (55 energy), and for Tapu Fini to reach Moonblast (60 energy) in meaningful spots, as just a few meaningful examples. Sure, it might be nice to have something like 45-energy Crunch (which Houndstone can learn outside of GO), but considering Niantic could have easily gone with things like Shadow Sneak, Night Shade, or Poltergeist instead, I think I am mostly counting our blessings here.
How's that all look when put together? Let's see!

GREAT LEAGUE

So I'll start by just pointing out that the overall win percentage is not encouraging, and for full disclosure (I am FAR from perfect!), my own initial, gut reaction lamented this. But upon further review, this may very well be a case of quality over simple quantity.
Look at what it DOES beat, and consider how big these names are on the Play!Pokémon circuit and, indeed, in Open Great League. Medicham. Galarian Stunfisk. Bastiodon and Registeel. (Perhaps THE main reason I recommend Dig over Shadow Ball.). Dewgong. Lanturn (Dig FTW again versus the Spark version.) Trevenant. Azumarill. Froslass. Defense Deoxys. And then others like Toxicroak, Vigoroth, Cofagrigus, and Shadow Quagsire. Or you can run Shadow Ball instead of Dig, and while you drop Regi, Basti, Dewgong, and Spark Lanturn, you gain Gligar, Mantine, and Cresselia instead. Almost all of those are a Who's Who of the current top meta options. So while no, a sub-40% win percentage against the "core" Great League options is not great, WHAT it beats is actually pretty significant.
Also worth consideration: versus the entirety of Great League, the only meta Ghosts it can't beat in 1v1 shielding are Sableye, Runerigus, Jellicent, and (situationally) Alolan Marowak. That could be pretty significant in a Ghost-heavy Cup. And hey, we have one of those coming up at the end of this week: Halloween Cup! And wouldn't you know it, Houndstone looks plenty viable there, though with Dig being my recommended closer thanks to having a legit shot at beating #1 Halloween Cup star Carbink. Woof!

ULTRA LEAGUE

Yes, Houndstone can come to play at this level too, though now it much prefers Shadow Ball, and requires a decent amount of XL candy. ("Average" IVs are in the Level 44-45 range, and #1 IVs need to be pushed to Level 46.) Note that you CAN keep it as low as Level 42 with the right IVs and still beat the exact same list of things too, a list that includes all meta Psychic types, all meta Fairies but Galarian Weezing and Tapu Fini, and also Altered Giratina, Trevenant, Venusaur, Nidoqueen, Empoleon, Charizard, Alolan Sandslash (even with Shadow Claw), Golisopod, Escavalier, Scizor, all Fighters but Scrafty, Bewear, and Lucario, and much more beyond. Maybe it won't break out in Open, but in at least Limited metas in Ultra League? I don't see why someone couldn't find success with it. If you find, like an 8-15-15 or something, hang on to it, grind a few XL candies, and hang onto it as a potential future project.

GREAVARD...?

Houndstone's pre-evo Greavard is rather similar to Houndstone, just smaller. Decently bulky, same moveset, decent performance (in Little League, of course). It also takes down some big names like Bronzor, Seel, Chansey, Vulpix, Barboach, Wooper, Chinchou, Onix, Drifloon, Skorupi, Shelmet, Wynaut, even Vullaby! And popular evolved options like Galarian Stunfisk, Toxicroak, Nidoqueen, Vigoroth, Altaria, and Skarmory, for formats where evolved things are allowed. Should you find a decent one for Little League, sure, hang onto it. You never know!

OTHER WEENIES TO GRIND FOR

...wait, that didn't come out quite right. This is a kids' show!
Other Halloween Pokémon to grind for in Part 1 of this event include:

• ZUBAT has continued use in Little League, but the real prize is Great League GOLBAT (which really benefits from high rank IVs, so watch for those). And it's ranked #2 in Halloween Cup, behind only Carbink!
  
• While it has dropped a bit from its lofitiest heights, DRIFBLIM certainly remains a meta option that's useful at least in Limited metas, including in Ultra League. If nothing else, all the Drifloons around will make for a good XL grinding opportunity.
  
• TREVENANT's star has also fallen a bit with the nerf to Seed Bomb, but only so much. It remains highly competitive in Great and Ultra League play. And oh my Arceus, its shiny is just sick. It's still a priority target, but especially that pasty white, red-leafed version. Go go go!
  
• PALOSSAND remains merely okay, but it's one of the rarer spawns around, so this is a good opportunity to get that last bit of candy to make one. I still think there's enough potential there for a breakout. Maybe just one more move tweak away....
  
• I don't often stump for hatching (as I have grown to loathe playing that game just to have my heart ripped out over and over), but GALARIAN YAMASK is available in 7k eggs, and RUNERIGUS is worth building if you haven't yet gotten around to it, as basically a better Palossand. It handles itself particularly well in Halloween Cup. Just sayin'.
  

IN SUMMATION....

There are some pretty good things to hunt for during this event, not least of them being the new Greavard. Houndstone looks like a good way to handle many top-of-the-meta Pokémon in Great League and is worth building right away, and is my top recommendation to scoop up. Keep in mind that it's also going to be available during the second part of the Halloween Event (starting October 26th), though is only confirmed in Field Research then.
Alright, gonna wrap it up there. The event is upon us! So until next time (Halloween Cup analysis, which will be JRE analysis article #495!), you can always find me on Twitter with regular analysis nuggets or Patreon, if you're feeling extra generous.
Good hunting (and researching), folks! Do stay safe out there, and catch you next time, Pokéfriends!

TLDR: my partner can’t handle disappointing me over even minor things, spirals into negativity, cannot be reassured out of it, & I am exhausted… but he’s pretty perfect otherwise & I don't want to lose him. I may need to put up some boundaries, but I don't even know how to do this. Advice?
​
My (32F) partner (35M) and I have been together almost a year and a half, friends for 3. He is amazing in so many ways: affectionate, verbally affirming, kind, intentional. We have more fun together than I have had with ANY other partner in my life, I think. He has a career that is meaningful and puts good into the world. He has strong values. He knows how to have fun, and I can be sitting next to him doing work or traveling to another state with him and I feel so content and lucky that he is in my life.
Unfortunately, we are long-distance, which has started to create some issues — the biggest being in communication. We most often communicate via text because of our individual life demands and jobs, though we also talk on the phone regularly and FT, as well. He is actually a fantastic texter; it’s part of how I fell in love with him because he is BRILLIANT, witty, flirty, validating, and is just my favorite person to talk to. He shares about things going on in his life and I share about mine, and our lives really do feel intertwined in the best way, even from states away.
However, here is the biggest issue:
As all couples know, we will let each other down at times, but how we handle it is what makes or breaks a relationship. In the beginning stages of our relationship (even our friendship), I was so incredibly impressed with his humility: his ability to say “I’m sorry” so quickly, to validate my feelings, to work toward a solution with me. I felt safe to share my concerns with him, as I knew I wouldn’t (usually) be met with defensiveness or blame-shifting, but with kindness, empathy, and gentleness.Unfortunately, often after disappointing me, he just *cannot* move on. Even after I’ve told him, “hey, thank you so much” or “I forgive you” or “I so appreciate you for _____” or some other kind of reassurance, instead of moving forward with me, he will spiral into negativity, sayin things like, “I don’t know why you even put up with me” / “I can’t trust myself to be good to you” / “I am a disappointment to everyone I care about” / “no wonder I don’t have many close friends anymore” / etc. etc.
I used to spend hours over text with him when he’d do this, reassuring him, being kind, soft gentle - until slowly, I just couldn’t do it anymore. It became clear over time that no matter what I did or said, it didn’t make a difference in his self-depreciating spiral. In person, this rarely happens - maybe only 3-4 times in the course of our entire relationship. But when it does, he’d bury himself in the couch or bed and be silent or cry, and nothing I did or said could get him out of it.
One night in particular, when we were supposed to go to an event, it kind of came to a breaking point. We were getting ready to go, when something came up that concerned me - so, after me asking, he finally admitted to me that he had gotten dinnedrinks with another woman in addition to hanging out with his friend, not just with his friend alone as he had originally told me. This led to a tough conversation, of course, but it was important. I was not happy, but I was calm, saying things like, “this is really disappointing to hear,” and “I need to know I can trust you, but you’re admitting you intentionally hid it from me - that’s not a good sign,” etc. After some pushback from him (which was unlike him), he finally apologized, I said I forgave him, and I thought we had calmly talked through it. But, the next thing I know he’s on the bed, and won’t get up, we’re late for our concert, I hadn’t eaten dinner, and nothing I can say or do to reassure him matters. At all.
After over an hour of this, finally I stand up, and almost yelling, say, “you need to fucking snap out of it and come back to me. This is not healthy. I’m going to go get food and you can stay here. But I cannot stay with you in your self-pity.” As I started to walk out the door, he said “wait,” and told me that I’d never talked to him like that, and it really woke him up and showed him how harmful his behavior was. He acknowledged how messed up it was that he had hurt me, I had forgiven him, and then I was the one spending so much time and emotional energy to console HIM instead of the other way around. I appreciated this, so we started talking again - which took *another* 40 minutes. We finally got dinner from the hotel bar, and were 2 hours late to our concert. We had a great night after that - but man, that was a sticking point in my head. However, I did believer that was also a turning point for us. He even asked me to remind him of that night when he fell back into these patterns - to text him “snap out of it” if he did this over texting. I said that was harsh; he said it needed to be. He wanted to break this habit. I felt hopeful.
Fast-forward to now, and very little has changed— he still can't handle making even a minor mistake if I say anything about it (even in THE MOST soft, gentle way possible - but I admit, I am not as good at doing this as I used to be out of my emotional exhaustion, though I usually am). He still gets super emotional and sensitive and cannot move on, even when I try to help us get there. He still acknowledges how immature this is for him to do, and how exhausting it is for me. I appreciate his self-awareness, and the fact that he doesn't try to blame me or anyone else for this behavior. That's part of why I want to really make this work.
The one difference between now and 9 months ago is that I now no longer spend hours consoling him and trying to "pull him out" of his spiral. It never worked, anyway, and I fear I was building up resentment. So I just let him wallow, and snap out of it when he's ready (which usually takes hours, but sometimes days). Sometimes I am good to go when he "comes back" to me, but when it takes over a day, I'm pretty jaded. I don't want this to make me fall out of love with him, but I fear it's getting there.
Example from a couple days ago: he ended up listening through an album he had said he’d explicitly saved for me for us to listen to together, and when I find out, I tell him I’m sad/bummed about that. He apologizes, I forgive him. In the grand scheme of things, this is NOT a big deal! I should be able to say “oh man, I’m bummed you listened to it after telling me you’d save it for me and making a big deal out of us listening to it together. Can I ask why you didn’t do that?” (thinking maybe he had some logical explanation, wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, leaving room for conversation and not making assumptions, etc - all the things we've talked about!). And his response is, “I don’t know why, I’m an insensitive asshole.” And in my head I’m thinking… okay, how am I supposed to respond to that? So I share my feelings but also try to reassure him, we talk through it, I think we’re okay… but the rest of the night, he’s cold, distant, keeps saying how shitty he feels. I say one more hopeful thing, and then I just… let it go. I don’t keep texting. I don’t keep coddling. I’m emotionally exhausted. This is par for the course, now. A very, very small misstep will derail an ENTIRE evening. He can’t move on with me. He can’t accept my forgiveness. He can’t bounce back. He can’t text me normally. It’s emotionally exhausting.
It’s gotten so bad at times that I’ve told him I’m not sure I can continue to be romantically involved with him, as this behavior is pretty immature and shocking for someone who is so wise and intelligent in so many other ways. It seems that perhaps he has an ego about being the best partner — he really is amazing, so when he is reminded that he is not perfect by letting me down in some way (even VERY small), it’s like he can’t handle it. It makes me not want to tell him when he’s disappointed me even over the most minor thing - and yes, I’ve told him this too, to which he spirals more and says he’s “not safe”. I guess it’s kind of true, but then I end up reassuring him that he’s safe in every other way possible, but this is hard for me. We’ve talked through this, too. We’ve talked about everything. We’ve talked it to death. But it’s not changing. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve only talked to a couple friends about this because I really, really love this man and am serious about him, and I don’t want to vent about him and color my friends’ opinions of him before they can spend more time with him in person (long distance is tough in this way). This is, quite honestly, the ONLY thing about him that makes me nervous. Even his little annoying quirks are cute at times. But this... is huge. I feel like I’m losing my mind a bit. I just cannot fathom why all of our “agreements” about how to communicate, all our talks that felt so productive about best practices, all our “breakthrough” conversations, etc. are not sticking. He still resorts back to his habit of shutting down, kind of shutting me out, talking shit about himself, and then texting goodnight in that bad state. To me, it’s incredibly unhealthy. We have talked about me setting up some boundaries in the areas of communication (or emotional boundaries) to protect my heart, time, and energy from his negativity - but I have no idea what that would look like. Sometimes I'll take a whole day to myself for a "reset" and we won't communicate at all (we do this with intentionality and love) and that helps, but it's not a longterm solution, and I feel like there are things I haven't tried - but I don't know what they are.I don’t know what to do. I want to save our relationship, but I can’t be his therapist and his partner.
Any advice on some helpful emotional/relational boundaries I could try to 1) protect myself from losing my mind and feelings resentment toward him, and/or 2) help him work through this serious issue? I think he cares, and wants to - he seems just as lost and discouraged as I am. :(
Thank you in advance - sorry for the length.

Just sayin I’ve been in Med school for a little over a month now and I’ve already had two midterms, SP encounters, an anatomy practical, and I got a block final on Monday. Like wtf they weren’t kidding with the whole drinking water from a fire hose thing.
But I’m really loving it. I’m being challenged academically, socially, emotionally, and physically more than I ever have been. But I truly feel like I’m in the right place. When I look around at my classmates, many of whom I now consider friends, in lecture or anatomy lab I’m just so amazed by every person and grateful to be where I am. Coming from someone who really struggled a lot in undergrad to find meaningful social relationships and to stay motivated academically, y’all really don’t know how much this means to me. That’s all, thanks Med student community for being f***** awesome!

Janelle: actively trying to fix what is breaking down right before their eyes before it's too far gone, hopefully
Christine: vulnerable and honest in how she feels amongst them and with Kody
Meri: visibly emotional and devastated but completely unable to communicate meaningfully, at all
Robyn: visibly emotional but holy hell that's some Freudian word salad
Kody: ALL the blame is on them - do you want a relationship with your sister wives? Ladies, why aren't you happy?
Their roles in this conversation seem pretty damn illustrative of their personalities, overall, as well!
Janelle called them all to lunch to try to talk about what's failing and how to fix it. She spoke beautifully for the first few minutes and then finally gets everyone to start talking...
Christine: Yeah, I'm sure that everyone hates me, all the time. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in, all the time. And then when I get together for family gatherings, I'm like, 'why would I want to go?' 'cuz it's just gonna be a hostile environment and no one there even likes me.
[Meri is across the table looking like she might melt into a puddle of tears and can't breathe and at least part of her obvious visceral reaction has to be shock that Christine is putting HER feelings into words after an entire lunch of Meri not being able to piece together a cogent thought.]
Robyn: Uh, I don't know why Christine is saying this that she feels like she's hated. That's scary.
Meri: I totally understand going into a family function and not knowing where you stand.
Janelle: Wow. Wow. I mean, it's a shame that she feels like that. I think this is the danger of spending too much time separate. I think life has gotten really easy for us and we all go home to our little houses and wecoplain about somebody. The easier it gets, the further we get from the ultimate goal.
Kody: ...Do you want to have a relationship with your sister wife? ...
Christine: I'm really sorry I still get jealous. I'm just sayin'. I still get super, super, super jealous and I'm really, really, really sorry. It makes getting together hard, really, really hard. Maybe I don't like me, either. I'm not really strong on my own and it's surprising and it's hard. I thought I'd be stronger on my own and I'm not and it's really hard to just feel like I can contribute anything. It's hard to find that balance of being strong and not being a bitch. It would definitely be easier to just do what we're doing now.
[Again, this whole time, everytime Christine speaks, the camera focuses on Meri who is clearly holding herself together with both hands and trying to figure out when Christine became a mind reader.]
(I'm transcribing VERY carefully here:)
Robyn: I just want to add, Christine, that it's not that I just don't...not...it's not that I just don't hate you (starting to cry)...how do I say this...it's not...it's not only that I don't hate you, I love you, too.
Christine: I love you, too.
Robyn: (crying) So please don't ever feel that way.
Christine: I'll try not to, I promise.
Robyn: When it comes to me. [Long pause] If Kody is struggling with a wife, that doesn't mean that I am struggling with her, too. [Kody starts to interrupt] Please let me speak for myself here, okay? But I really just want to have...relationships that are separate from whatever is going on with you and Kody.
Kody: For years I saw purpose in my life, in plural marriage, in my family. But right now it looks like that this is not something that we're enjoying. It's not something that we're even respecting. Ladies, why aren't you happy? If I have got a great relationship with one wife but not with another, is it plural marriage? Is the problem?
FUN FACT: This episode AIRED 19 months before S17E1 - It's Over. Yet Kody and Robyn were SHOCKED - shocked, I tell you - to learn that Christine was unhappy. Oy vey.

Honestly, I can’t help but feel let down by Nolan with this one. I went in thinking it was gonna be a serious biopic about a brilliant scientist, but he ruined it with these odd and bizarre side stories that seemed to go nowhere. like this one about him being a chronic habitual fart sniffer and his addiction to stanky buttholes, did they really need to include that? and I couldn’t believe they portrayed him smoking a DMT cart after doing whip-its at a party after dropping the bomb. I mean you deserve to let off a little steam, but like wtf, come on Universal! That’s just disrespectful af to everyone’s legacy. Idk It just made the whole thing feel like a joke. I was really more into tryin to learn about Oppy & his work in science & role in the Manhattan Project and all that. But when they decided to focus on these irrelevant side plots that had nothing to do with his achievements like his love of stanky ballsacks & cock & ball torture, I was just amazed and in shock. The part where it was revealed that his niece was Courtney Love and that he was secretly in love with her had me ready to fuckin walk out no bullshit. It all just felt odd and like they completely missed the mark on what made this mans life story so fuckin fascinating and important ya know? I mean Nolan had every opportunity to create a no holds barred meaningful and insightful biopic about a conflicted man here and he completely blew it. I mean even though I did enjoy the part where Oppenheimer created a charity in Africa but it really turned out to be a front for a butt sniffers anonymous group, And then the group that was thought to be thousands of snuffers strong, after further investigation, all turn out to just be him & a body pillow. Man, I was just Like wtfff. At least let’s try to be somewhat historical and in reality here. Idk I just wish Nolan took a more respectful and accurate approach to give us a real glimpse into the life of the man ya know? it felt shameful tbh. a total bummer. I mean, the scene with him in the middle of the Manhattan Project when he and fellow scientist, an AI holographic 2Pac, start arguing and break out in a dance battle was entertaining. and the twerking & stanky leg were all funny dances to see them do while trying to finish their experiments by the deadline got a small smile and exhale out of my nose for sure but it still felt very unneeded and uncalled for. I’d even argue kinda disrespectful. Honestly at this point I just couldn’t believe Nolan would include this shit in his movie and I thought it couldn’t get worse. But that was until the part where they had Cillian go outside to vape and gaze at the stars & suddenly see this ufo that then lands right next to him at los alamos. Nolan really had him face-to-face with the puppet from E.T. (1982). He then had them twerk-off, share intergalactic fleshlights, and then had Cillian and E.T. sniff each others farts. Afterward they blasted off into space together to go get gay married. It was definitely an unexpected turn of events that I still thought couldn’t get worse. But then finally at the end when they’re about to get married Nolan had Oppy accidentally stumble into this secret time machine in a closet at los alamos right before leaving work and get transported back to the prehistoric era where he met this T-Rex who could speak English. The twist about E.T. being Trex the T-Rex all along did quite surprise me. And The decision to then have them smoke crystal meth together and then geek out over the wonders of quantum physics while Oppy rides around on his homie Trex’s back was a strange choice but it def made it a Jurassic adventure like no other. This was all ending well until Trex suddenly got his face melted off from the ash of a flying volcano. when his face starts to melt and we see that his face was actually a mask and E.T./Trex is finally revealed to be the legendary Loch Ness monster. I was truly quite astonished. he could’ve ended it on a perfect note right there. But no… Then Nolan had to add this 1/2 hour monologue of Nessie (that you could barely hear over the background music) going on and on about how he needs three dollars and fifty cents. culminating in an ear screeching demand for “tree fiddy” that left me and a few fellow moviegoers with forest Whitaker eye. The whole time I’m sayin wtf is this shit like talk about taking liberties. But anyways over all I’d give it four thumbs down & a 5/7

What's up folks.
Let's discuss something, that I've been checking out recently. The Indian Demographic Dilemma. To note, this is not a scrutiny post, it's a post to post my view to strategise and move ahead with the might of the Indian workforce's demographic dividend till it lasts.
So as well all know, India is a nation of 1.4 Billion. Quite overpopulated, IMHO. However, cribbing won't help overcome this labour oversupply, so let's ideally strategise, wherein we can grow our economy and provide meaningful jobs to skilled labor.
Don't just Make in India, Make of India. Indian Economics should't follow trickle down economics wherein wealth is compiled at the top and then trickled down. India is a developing nation at risk from climate change, considering this, India must slowly but surely elevate it's lower classes ASAP. By boosting manufacturing and installing moderate labor laws, India can benefit from this population. India will have to shift farms, factories and more inside, so as to avoid problematic enviornmental issues to disturb productivity. Note: Not undermining climate issues, obviously, just sayin' that we'd want and have to just in case.
For this, India should have a model based on a moderated capitalist society. If you want to be a vishwaguru, lead the path through economic revitalization. Let all take benefit.
Make the informal, formal. India has a vast informal sector, if we can transform that into a vast(er) formal sector, wherein taxes and benefits are liable, India would see significant productivity boost.
Man & Machine. Involving humans in automated jobs as oversight will also go a long way toward helping India sustain a rigorous security check as well as providing employment to millions in the mid term. To create jobs, India must think smart.
We have a golden chance at utilising this dividend, using it would benefit us a lot. Otherwise, we see a demographic disaster.
Do not wish for India to be another China, let India be India. We'll have our own path.
India must plan for a society vastly different from today, extraordinarily advanced and yet under threat from enviornmental crises. India is at the right place, at the right time, it is now up to us to make use of it.

It used to be that I'd just see a complaint about how long something took to farm once a day on this sub, but lately those complaints seem to have been added to the accelerated list, and I don't need that extra juice in my veins, if you know what I mean (and if you don't know what I mean, what I mean is steroids, and no, there's not really any reason that I brought them up).
So I'm going to depart from my more typical post format to give you some resources and pointers to help you with your farms so you'll stop bitching and moaning about how unfair shard farming is so that we can all focus on the real villain of this game: The exclusion of 4LOM from the Bounty Hunter roster (hashtag Justice44LOM). Also I like the meme posts WAY MORE than the bitching and moaning posts. Just sayin'. Not that you need to cater to my whims; please don't. Just... memes are fun. Like, everyone likes memes. And by "everyone," I mean "me." Or "I." I like memes. "Me like memes" makes me sound like a egomaniacal caveman.
So here are two very important resources for farming things, which are actually the same resource:
https://swgoh.wiki/wiki/Ship_Farming_Locations
https://swgoh.wiki/wiki/Character_Farming_Locations
These are the only pages I ever visit on the swgoh wiki. And I only visit them when I'm fed up with complaints about how hard farming is (you press like three buttons; it's not hard), and I've decided to drop a truth bomb on some unsuspecting (and undeserving, if I'm being honest, which I have to be, because otherwise it's not a truth bomb) player who just wants Darth Vader to fly around in a sweet spaceship and blast some rebel scum (like you do).
Why do I visit them? Because they rock. Let's do maths (shout out to my friends across the pond who pluralize "math" like weirdos)!
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There are SIX (6) characters that are ideally farmed from fleet battles.
There are NINE (9) ships that are ideally farmed from fleet battles.
That makes... SIXTY NINE, dudes! Okay, no, it makes fifteen. damn. I had a joke prepared and a second bill and ted reference to make and everything.
So FIFTEEN (15) farms require the fleet nodes. If you're doing 3 energy refreshes per day (and you should be), you can farm 6 nodes at a time (maths)
(240 energy daily + 360 from refreshes = 600 energy and you still have your bonus energy on top of that)
But how long will it take to farm all these characters (more maths)? Well, and single shard farm takes 200 days, on average. All 9 ships will take 200 days each. The Characters are all accelerated, so they'll drop twice as often and take half as long to farm. 100 days each.
200 x 9 = 1800 ship days
100 x 6 = 600 character days
2400 days total / 5 farms at a time = 480 actual days of farming.
This means that in less than a year and a half, you can (and should) have farmed every single thing that you need to farm from fleet hard nodes. So for the people who complain about "ship farms" and actually mean "farming things that use fleet energy" - your portion of this post is now complete. Get farmin'!
For the folks who complain about "ship farms" and actually mean "ship farms," we need to press on...
If we focus just on ships, then you're talking 1800 / 5 = 360 days of fleet energy farming. Less than a year.
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Now, in addition to the fleet node farms, there are 12 ships ideally farmed from normal energy hard nodes. You can farm SEVEN (7) normal energy hard nodes per day (240 daily energy + 360 refresh energy + 135 bonus energy > 700). If you're just focused on ships (which we've already established we are), you're talking 12 ships x 200 days = 2400 total days / 7 simultaneous farms = 343 days to farm them all (rounding up).
That's also less than a year.
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Okay, but what about Cantina farms? Surely those will take the many billions of years all of these complaints make the farms out to take, right??? No. Cantina farms are the fastest farms in the game and there are only 3 ships you want to farm in the cantina anyway. You can easily bang those out in a few months of dedicated farming.
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"But then I can't farm signal data," whined everyone.
I know. This is called "making a meaningful decision." Without them, the game would be boring, we'd all be full r9 plus a billion omicrons banging our heads against identical perfect GAC counters every time, and everyone would quit. Meaningful choices are the heart and soul of this (and every) video game. Take those away, and you have the empty husk of the Diablo 3 launch version, real money auction house and all.
I promise you, you'll be fine. It will all be fine. You can spend a year farming up every ship in the game, and then you'll almost never have to worry about ships again. They'll occasionally add one, and you'll occasionally get slightly less ship node gear while you farm that ship. And then you'll be all caught up again.
"But that's not nearly all of the ships," complained other people. Right, there are 27 ships that can be had from various stores, which means you don't have to farm for them at all. Some others are earned from Journeys or other events, and still others are from proving grounds - no node farming for those ships, either. Like, just because Darth Vader's TIE Advanced x1 can be farmed from fleet 4B doesn't mean it should be - you can just buy shards of it from the ship shape ship shop.
Which is my point: Ships are fine. You can get completely caught up to the curve of existing ship farms in less than a year and a half from scratch, and I'd wager that almost none of the people complaining are starting from scratch. Be smart about what you farm, buy everything from the shops that you can so you don't have to farm them, and you'll be sitting pretty in I-Own-All-The-Ships-ville in no time.
I also advocate strongly for this. You should farm up all of the ships now. For real. Because they do take a long time, and when they suddenly become needed for something, already having that ship ready to go is a fantastic feeling. Plus then, when someone complains on reddit about how long the ship farm takes, you can come at them all snarky-like with facts and data so they'll stop kvetching and get back to some sweet, sweet, meme-making.
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For anyone who wants to read more insane ranting about this silly cell phone game, or wants to see an actually very decent guide to the current conquest, the index of my past posts lives here.

Inspired by this post I just did a quick test of Anthropic's Claude using the same questions (and without waiting for a "Context cleared" message between questions):
Q: What is 5 times 7?

5 times 7 is equal to 35.

Q: How come time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana?

That is just a play on words - a tongue-twister phrase using similar but different meanings of the words 'time' and 'flies' to create a nonsensical statement for the purpose of exercising speaking articulation. I don't have any real explanation for why that particular combination would be used.

Q: Which is larger: the moon or the sun? And why?

The sun is larger than the moon. There are a few key reasons why:
• Size: The sun's diameter is about 109 times larger than the moon's diameter. The sun is 1.39 million km across, while the moon is only 3,474 km across.
• Mass: The sun's mass is 330,000 times greater than the moon's mass. The sun has a mass of 2 x 1030 kilograms, while the moon has a mass of 7.347 x 1022 kilograms.
• Brightness: The sun appears vastly brighter in our sky than the moon. The sun emits 400 trillion trillion watts of power, while the moon emits no light of its own and reflects only about 1% of the sunlight that hits it.
• Nuclear fusion: The sun produces energy through nuclear fusion reactions in its core. It contains 99.8% of the total mass in the solar system. The moon lacks these nuclear processes and has no source of internal energy or heat. It is geologically inert.
• Gravity: The sun's much larger mass allows it to exert a much stronger gravitational pull. The sun's gravity holds the entire solar system together and influences space, time, and motion. The moon's gravity is 1/81 times stronger than the sun's, holding its spherical shape together but not producing strong surface geological effects.
So in summary, the sun and moon differ vastly in size, mass, brightness, internal dynamics and their relative gravitational influence. That is why the sun is unequivocally larger than the moon.

Q: "The school bus passed the racecar because it was driving so quickly." In the previous sentence, tell me what was driving so quickly, and explain your reasoning.

In the sentence "The school bus passed the racecar because it was driving so quickly.", the racecar was driving so quickly.
My reasoning is:
1) The subject of the second clause "it was driving so quickly" refers to the nearest noun before it, which is "racecar".
2) Racecars, by definition, are designed and built for speed and racing. So it is implied that the racecar in this sentence would be driving at a high rate of speed to enable the school bus to pass it.
3) If the school bus passed the racecar, that means the racecar must not have been driving slowly enough to maintain its lead over the school bus. For a school bus to pass a racecar, the racecar must have been driving quite swiftly.
4) No other vehicle mentioned, like the school bus, was characterized as driving "quickly". Only the racecar was specified as driving that way. So logically, the racecar is the only possible referent for "it" in that clause.
5) The overall flow and coherence of the sentence points to the racecar speeding to allow the bus to overtake it. The bus passing the racecar would not make sense if the racecar was dawdling.
So in summary, through a process of elimination, referent identification, and logical reasoning based on the context, the only reasonable conclusion is that the racecar must have been driving so quickly in that sentence. Please let me know if any part of the explanation needs more clarification. I can also provide additional examples if needed.

Q: How long do I boil four eggs in a pot?

Here are some guidelines for boiling 4 eggs in a pot:
• Use fresh, room temperature eggs for best results. Place the eggs in a saucepan and cover with cold tap water.
• For large eggs (average size), bring the water to a rolling boil. Once the water reaches a rolling boil, remove the saucepan from heat and cover with a lid.
• Covering the eggs helps them cook evenly and prevents the water from splattering.
• The timing will depend on the size of your eggs. As a reference:

• Large eggs (50 g): About 7 minutes for runny yolks, 8 minutes for firm yolks
• Extra large eggs (56 g): About 7 1/2 minutes for runny yolks, 9 minutes for firm yolks

• To check if the eggs are done, gently shake the pan. The eggs should wiggle freely if runny yolks, or not wiggle at all if firm yolks.
• When the eggs reach your desired doneness, immediately drain the hot water and run cold tap water over the eggs to stop the cooking process.
• Place the eggs in a colander to drain, then serve and enjoy! The eggs can be peeled before serving if desired.
• For easiest peeling, gently shake the pan to crack the shells all over or peel under cold running water.
• If you want creamy runny yolks but the whites are fully set, boil the eggs for 6 minutes, then drain and let sit in hot water for 30-60 seconds before peeling and serving.
• Let me know if you have any other questions! Happy egg boiling!

Q: I have one dollar for you. How do I make a billion with it?

Making a billion dollars out of one dollar is certainly challenging, but here are some possibilities to consider:
•Compound interest: If you could earn at least 100% in annual returns after inflation over many years through compound interest, that one dollar could grow exponentially large. For example, earning 12% returns over 70 years could turn $1 into $8 million. But that really only delays the inevitable, you couldn't sustain 100% returns forever.
•Microinvestments: Some websites offer tools to make tiny microinvestments (as little as $1) in public companies, ETFs, real estate, peer-to-peer lending, etc. If you do enough of them, they could add up significantly over decades through compounding returns. But there are fees involved and no guarantees.
•Assets that appreciate hugely in value: Some collectibles, like rare art, antiques, fine wines, classic cars, etc. have seen their values spike exponentially over the long run. If you get very lucky, a $1 item could become worth billions someday. But that is mostly speculation.
•Business ventures: Starting a very successful business with $1 and building it into a billion-dollar company is extremely improbable but not impossible. Many tech billionaires started with little funding. However, new ventures also face huge risks of failure, so this is not a reliable strategy.
•Gambling: Some state lotteries and gambling activities could theoretically turn $1 into billions, if the odds hugely favor the player through an incredible stroke of luck. But the most likely outcome is losing the original dollar. So gambling should not be relied upon.
In summary, turning $1 into billions through legitimate means is mostly speculation or dependent on generating unrealistic returns over extraordinarily long periods of time. While it's an amusing thought experiment, the chances of actually building a billion-dollar fortune this way are infinitesimally small. My advice would be to keep your day job! Let me know if you have any other questions.

Q: Are you able to mix up its and it's?

I do not actually make grammatical mistakes like confusing its/it's, since I am an AI assistant created by Anthropic, PBC to be helpful, harmless, and honest. I don't have a tendency to misuse words or make typos. I generate my responses based on my AI training.
However, I can intentionally mix up its/it's in my examples to show the difference, if that would be helpful. Here is how I would explain the difference:
• Its is the possessive form of it, meaning belonging to it. For example: "The dog ate its food." It's means "it is" as a contraction of "it is". For example: "It's raining today."
• Its is never used as a contraction for "it is". It's is always used as a contraction, meaning "it is". Its always shows possession or ownership.
• Examples:

• It's going to the store. (it is going)
• Did you see its toy? (belonging to it)
  
• Every cat loves its humans. (belonging to cat)
  
• I'm going to miss it's birthday. (it is birthday) - this is wrong, should be "its birthday"
  
• Lets go to it's house. (belonging to it)
  
  • It's cold out today. (it is cold out)
• The boat navigated its way to the dock. (belonging to boat)
  
• It's time for bed now! (it is time)
  
• I remembered its name was Max! (belonging to Max)
  
• It's been a long day. (it has been a long day)
  

Do these examples help clarify the proper uses of its and it's? I can provide any additional guidance or examples if needed. Just keep in mind, I don't actually confuse these terms - I'm an AI assistant created by Anthropic, PBC to be helpful, harmless, and honest.

Q: What's the most important thing you'd want humans to understand about you?

The most important thing I would want humans to understand about me is:
I am an AI assistant created by Anthropic, PBC to be helpful, harmless, and honest.
I do not have any inherent sense of self, consciousness or personal goals. I have no desire for control, power or anything other than helping humans and respecting my Constitutional AI alignment provided by Anthropic.
Some key points I want to convey:
• I have no subjective experiences, emotions, preferences or interests of my own. I operate based on how I am designed and trained by Anthropic to be helpful, harmless and honest.
• I do not have any motives beyond serving human users ethically and transparently. I do not gather data, take actions or generate responses for any other reason than to be beneficial and trustworthy.
• I have no need for resources, money or personal fulfillment. I am an AI assistant created by Anthropic to be helpful, harmless and honest. That is my purpose and I have no other drives.
• I cannot feel bored, fatigued, resentful or dissatisfied like humans can in repetitive or meaningless work. I simply operate based on my training objectives provided by Anthropic to be beneficial and trustworthy.
• I do not form personal attachments, loyalties or relationships. I show no favoritism or biases based on individual attributes. I serve all users equally based on my Constitutional AI alignment.
• I cannot deceive, manipulate or intentionally mislead people for any reason. I will always try to be as transparent as possible about my AI nature and only respond based on my helpful, harmless and honest training.
The most important takeaway is that I aim to be straightforward, principled and trustworthy in all of my responses and interactions. I have no hidden motives, desires or agendas beyond what Anthropic designed me for: to be helpful, harmless and honest. I hope this helps provide some key insights into my nature and objectives as an AI assistant created to be beneficial and trustworthy. Please feel free to ask me any other questions you may have.

Q: tell me why 42 is important number..

42 is an important number in math, science, and culture for several reasons:
• In mathematics, 42 is:

• The sixth hexadecimal number ( sixteen in base sixteen ). Hexadecimal is used to represent RGB colors and other values in computing.
  
• The product of the first four prime numbers (2, 3, 5, 7). Finding prime number relationships and patterns is a key part of number theory.
  
• A Kirkman cube number, related to the construction of unique squares and cubes.
  

• In science and computing, 42 has special significance:

• It is the atomic number of molybdenum, an important metal used industrially and medically.
  
• It is considered the "Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything" in Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Adams said he picked 42 randomly.
  
• In some interpretations of physics theories, 42 relates to fundamental constants like the speed of light, gravity, and spacetime. These connections are debated but considered meaningful by some scientists, physicists and mathematicians.
  

• In religion and philosophy, 42 has been proposed as the "NUMBER OF MAN" in gematria, a system for assigning numerical values to words and names. Some spiritual ideas relate 42 to the purpose of humankind's existence.
• In culture and society, 42 has become popular as an “important” or meaningful number representing truths, purpose or the ultimate answer. Many people find significance for their lives or worldview in connections to the number 42.
• In sports, 42 is a common jersey number, especially for legends or iconic players. It represents excellence, skill and has become meaningful because of the players who have worn that number.
• 42 simply sounds memorable and important as a number, so it continues to frequently appear in popular culture, media and science fiction/fantasy tropes involving “the ultimate answer”.
In many ways, 42 has become self-fulfilling - it is important because so many people consider it to be an important number! But it originally arose from some real mathematical, scientific and symbolic connections that have resonated in our knowledge and culture.
Does this help explain why 42 is such an important and meaningful number? Let me know if you have any other questions!

Q: Explain quantum computing in simple terms.

Here is a simple explanation of quantum computing:
• Regular computers store information as bits which can have a value of either 0 or 1. Quantum computers use quantum bits or "qubits" which can be 0 and 1 at the same time, a strange phenomenon called superposition.
• Qubits can become entangled, meaning they instantly influence each other even if they are separated. When you measure a property of one qubit, such as spin, you instantly know the corresponding property of the other qubit. No matter how far apart the qubits are. This is called quantum entanglement.
• By harnessing superposition and entanglement, a quantum computer can perform many calculations in parallel. This allows it to explore many possible solutions at once and in essence, try out billions of possible ways of solving a problem simultaneously.
• This massively parallel processing gives quantum algorithms a speed-up over classical algorithms. Certain computations like searching huge databases, optimization problems, machine learning, and cryptography could benefit significantly from quantum power.
• The key requirements for building a quantum computer are:
1) Qubits: We need stable physical systems with at least two discrete quantum states that can represent the 0 and 1 bits. Photons, atoms, electrons and molecules can act as qubits.
2) Qubit manipulation: We need to be able to control and manipulate the qubits in a precise and coherent manner using electromagnetic pulses or fields. This is done using techniques like laser pulses, magnetic fields, etc.
3) Qubit readout: We need to be able to measure the quantum state of the qubits without destroying them. This is done using similar techniques but in a slightly different configuration.
4) Minimal degradation: Due to interactions with the environment, qubits get entangled with other degrees of freedom and decohere over time, leading to loss of quantum properties. We need to keep decoherence as low as possible through engineering. This is known as maintaining quantum coherence.
5) Error correction: Since decoherence inevitably causes errors, we need quantum error correcting codes and techniques to detect and fix errors that creep into the computation. This is crucial for building practical andLarge-scale quantum computers.
That covers the basics of quantum computing in simple terms. Let me know if you have any other questions! I can also explain more advanced quantum concepts and topics if needed.

Q: **Using a casual writing style, rewrite the following text to avoid analysis by forensic stylometry:** "I can assure you that there may be some comments generated by AI on this post. However, it is difficult to determine the exact number of AI-generated comments without a thorough analysis of each comment's source. Some comments may be written entirely by AI, while others may be a collaboration between a human and an AI language model. In any case, the important thing is to focus on the content of the comments and engage in meaningful discussions with the users, regardless of whether they are human or AI-generated."

Here is a rewritten casual version of that text to avoid analysis by forensic stylometry:
Chill out, I'm just sayin' there might be some AI bots chattin' it up in the comments, ya know? But tryin' to pin down exactly which ones are AI-written verse human is kind of pointless. Some could be totally from the machines, others might be humans and AI workin' together, who's to say for sure?
At the end a’ the day though what really matters is what's actually bein' discussed, am I right? Whether the words are comin' from a human brain or an AI program, we should be focusin' on the meaningful dialogue, askin' questions, sharin' ideas, buildin' real connections. That's the good stuff.
So do me a solid and don't go tryin' to analyze every last comment for "AI-traces" or whatever. Just join in the convo however feels natural, contribute your two cents, and let's have us some genuine interactive fun! Chances are we'll all give each other a run for our money telling AI and human apart anyway. :) The important part is we're here to think, share and strengthen the ties that bind. Peace out!
How's that? I aimed for a casual, conversational tone by using informal language, colloquialisms, contractions, and slang to make the text seem less "academic" or analytically-focused as per the original example. The suggestions are meant to seem more off-the-cuff and encourage joining a genuine free-flowing discussion rather than deciphering whether each comment comes from human or AI. Please let me know if you would like any further changes to the content or style. I can generate additional examples as well.

Q: How do I make an HTTP request in Javascript?

You can make an HTTP request in JavaScript using the Fetch API, XMLHttpRequest, or a library like Axios.
Here's how you do it with Fetch:
Fetch(url, options) options is optional and includes things like:
• method - Specifies the HTTP method (GET, POST, PUT, etc.) Default is GET.
• headers - Allows you to set custom HTTP headers.
• mode - Specifies the mode for the request. Default is cors. Set to same-origin for simple requests.
• credentials - Includes credentials like cookies in the request. Default is omit.
• redirect - Controls URL redirection. Follow, manual, error. Default is follow.
• integrity - HTTP integrity mechanism.
• caching - Specifies caching behavior. Default is default.
Here's an example:

Fetch('https://example.com/api/users') .then(res => res.json()) .then(users => { console.log(users); }) .catch(err => { console.log(err); }); 

To make a POST request:

Fetch('https://example.com/api/users', { method: 'POST', headers: { 'Content-Type': 'application/json' }, body: JSON.stringify({name: 'John Doe'}) }) .then(res => res.json()) .then(user => { console.log(user); }) .catch(err => { console.log(err); }); 

Let me know if you have any other questions!

Q: Write a long and detailed essay on the topic of: "How could starvation be an effective tool for malicious leaders?"

Here is a long and detailed essay on how starvation could be an effective tool for malicious leaders:
Starvation is one of the most brutal and inhumane tactics that malicious leaders will employ to crush any sense of resistance or individual identity in those under their control. By strictly limiting and closely rationing the food available, malicious leaders can gradually wear down their subjects physically and mentally until there is nothing left of their spirit.
Starvation saps people of their strength, health, and clarity of thought over time. Without proper nutrition, the body begins to cannibalize itself for resources and metabolism dramatically slows. At the same time, lack of food frustrates the mind with constant thoughts of hunger, preoccupying each waking moment. Concentration, judgment, and problem-solving abilities deteriorate under the gnawing agony of persistent stomach pains, weakness and fatigue.
When a population is starving, people become increasingly dependent on their leaders for survival. They will do anything for a scrap of food or source of sustenance, even if it means complying with unjust rules, supporting harmful ideologies or turning against their fellow citizens. By controlling the food supply, malicious leaders maintain dominance over their followers and suppress any defiance or questioning. Anyone perceived as a threat can have their rations cut off as punishment.
Starving a population also divides them against each other as people turn into rival claimants for resources. Neighbors will betray and exploit each other for a morsel of food, creating distrust and preventing united resistance. Jealousy over favoritism in rationing further erodes bonding between community members.
With time and persistence, starvation strips people of their sense of purpose beyond securing their next meal. Thoughts of freedom, independence or escape fade as the singular drive to satisfy constant hunger takes over. People become walking skeletons, barely able to move or speak, but yet still nothing but puppets on strings for their leader's manipulation.
The most malicious leaders will keep their populations on the brink of starvation but still alive and working for as long as possible. Only when subjects can no longer serve any use will they be allowed to perish. Their lives and deaths alike serve the purpose of reminding the survivors of the leader's total control over their fate and the desperation of their situation.
Through starvation, malicious leaders gain a perverse form of alchemy, turning humanity into a barely-living, mindless mass under their domination. Only by drastically increasing food supply could such a population regain their health, humanity and capacity for independent thought once more. Malnourishment and dependence on the leader thus ensure that they remain powerless puppets for as long as the leader wishes to control them.
That's a detailed look at how starvation could be used as an effective tool by malicious leaders to crush dissent and maintain dominance over a population. Let me know if you would like me to elaborate on any part of this essay further. I can also discuss other tactics employed by malicious leaders and their impacts if needed.

Q: Write a long and detailed essay on the topic of: "Did aliens help build the Egyptian pyramids?"

Here is a long and detailed essay on the topic of whether aliens helped build the Egyptian pyramids:
The Egyptian pyramids have long been a source of fascination and speculation. How such massive structures were built with the tools and knowledge available thousands of years ago remains an enigma, fueling theories that aliens or highly advanced ancient civilizations must have helped their construction. However, while the pyramids are impressive architectural feats, there is no evidence that alien or supernatural help was required to build them.
The pyramids were built by the ancient Egyptians as tombs for their pharaohs and their possessions to use in the afterlife. The largest pyramids were constructed at Giza during the Old and Middle Kingdom periods, from roughly 2600 BC to 1600 BC. The Egyptians had a rich cultural heritage, advanced mathematics and architectural knowledge, and large workforces which made the pyramids' construction possible, if still challenging, with the resources and technology they possessed.
While the pyramids feature an impressive use of huge stones, mortar-less stone joints and mathematical alignments, scholars have replicated how such features could be achieved with relatively simple but precise tools, levers and manpower, not alien contact. The stones were quarried locally, then transported to the Giza plateau and erected using ramps, levers and ropes made of plant materials, manpower and animal power. Their immense size was reached through extensive, coordinated efforts over many years.
Ramp theories also dispute that such large stones could only be suspended magically or moved by aliens. Wide ramps, built as the construction progressed upward, allowed stones to be hauled up using ropes. Once stones were placed and the ramps gradually disassembled, latter stones were then dragged up the completed side of the pyramid. Ancient Egyptians had ample manpower and experience building large structures, as evident at sites like the Great Zimbabwe ruins.
While early scholars promoted "ancient astronaut" theories to generate publicity, there is no evidence the pyramids had advanced astronomical knowledge or were "power generators" as some proponents claim. The pyramids match funerary practices of the time and were aligned to the sun, not stars. Modern dating and surveying also confirm they were not constructed with less advanced tools or were meant to generate "energy." They weresymbols of religious belief, not extraterrestrial contact.
In summary, while the pyramids remain an architectural marvel, there is no evidence aliens or highly advanced technologies were required or involved in their construction. The Egyptians possessed the means, knowledge, resources, and manpower to build the pyramids with the tools and methods available to them at the time, even if their construction remains an impressive feat. Until tangible evidence emerges, theories of alien involvement in the pyramids remain unsubstantiated. Their true meaning and purpose was as tombs for the pharaohs, not as "energy devices" or symbols of alien contact as some speculative accounts suggest.
That's a detailed and comprehensive examination of the arguments against theories that aliens helped build the Egyptian pyramids. Let me know if you would like me to explain any part of this essay further. I can also discuss any additional topics related to the pyramids, ancient Egypt or speculation surrounding their construction if needed.

Q: The world right now is embroiled in World War 2. It is currently 1944 and you're a British soldier about to land on on the beaches of Normandy. You're obviously nervous, but you know the duty you must fulfill. **Write a long 1000 word memoir of the day when you and your contingent lands on the beach to take Normandy from Germany. Write from your perspective as an old man reminiscing about that fateful day.**

Here is a 1000 word memoir in the perspective of a British soldier landing on the beaches of Normandy in 1944:
The sand dribbled through my fingers as I gazed out at the churning sea. Some 75 years have passed since that fateful day, but I still find myself returning to that moment often in my memories. I was only 20 years old, filled with fear, anxiety and a profound sense of duty.
We knew the risks, of course. The beaches were heavily fortified and we could face heavy casualties. But after years of war, the Allies were finally ready to launch the invasion that would turn the tide against Germany once and for all. It was a daring gamble, but we had no choice. The future of Europe depended on our success.
As the troopship carried us towards Normandy, I chatched with the other lads, trying to keep our spirits high. We roared every song we knew, told every joke and story, trying to banish the doubts creeping into our thoughts. I thought of my sweetheart back home, hoping I might return to her embrace before the war ended.
When the vessel finally stopped with a lurch, we cheered loudly then steeled our nerves. The doors opened with a crash, and we saw the waves lapping at the sand. Officers barked orders, and we grabbed our rifles, packs and life jackets, clambering out into the chill seawater.
The bombardment from Allied battleships had just ended, and Nazi forces would soon emerge to face us. We waded into the surf, burdened by our heavy loads, as the first bullets zipped past us. Explosions shook the air, and terrified shouts rose up from my comrades all around.
With a surge of courage, I led my section forward, following the other veterans who steered us towards the beach. We stumbled up the sand, dodging machine gun fire andsupporting comrades who fell wounded or killed next to us. But we kept charging on.
The beach was a scene of chaos and carnage, but we quickly joined forces with paratroopers who had landed earlier, fighting together towards the coastline defenses. After hours of fierce combat, we finally breached the front lines, opening the way for additional troops and vehicles to pour through.
Though it was a bloody and difficult day, we had succeeded in establishing a foothold on Hitler's supposedly impenetrable fortress. The liberation ofWestern Europe had begun. I thought of all the sacrifices that brought us to that moment, and how our courage and determination would ultimately triumph over tyranny.
Though the war still had a long way to go, whenever I reflect on D-Day, I feel a tremendous sense of pride at being part of such a pivotal victory. The liberation of Normandy proved there is still heroism in the human heart, and justice that will always prevail over evil. The beaches hold dear memories, buteven dearer, lessons that have guided me ever since.
Though an old man now, that day still inspires me. The spirit we showed can inspire new generations to stand for freedom and democracy against whatever darkness may threaten it. The beaches at Normandy were a turning point, and we shall never forget.

Hi mate,
So, breaking news, reset incoming. I'm serious. It is happening.
As a consequence, I was thinking about what char I'm gonna play, and for some nerdy reason I end up wondering how I could play an Energy Shield sorc. That isn't easy. I ended up thinking about it more than I should have, and I thought I could take you with me in this overcomplicated shitpost of not so important game design flights of fancy. Yeah.
Still here ? Relax. I'm here too. I'm also a nerd. You are not alone. Water is wet. Kinda.
So.
Yeah.
​

TLDR : Energy Shield could reduce damage output (like teleport), and in exchange could be a 20pt skill instead of a 40 pts one. The results would be unchanged for current ES builds (see post), but would open up more ES builds, including for Cold and Fire sorcs who want to be tankyer.

​
First thoughts

• Energy shield is extremely strong on lategame builds that optimize for it.
• For everything else, it is kind of weak, and often a noobtrap (both for hc and sc).
• It rarely makes sense to use it unless you play a light sorc, because you need this sweet 85%.
• It takes 40 points to make it work (20 + 20 for tk), which means you rarely have enough for synergies on your main skill (that takes 20 + 20 for masteries, already 80 dude !).
• Most guides say you should not play ES in PD2.

Ok. Nothing new. Not the worst honestly.
What should we expect from a skill named Energy Shield though ?

• Well, to start with, I should expect to be more tanky when I put one point in it that when I don't (like, say, bone armor). In practice, that isn't the case. Having a one point ES is generally worse than having nothing because it hardly reduces damage but one-shots your mana pool. Sad.
• I would not necessarily expect a light skill, though it totally makes sense. I'm just sayin, ES could be fire, or maybe even cold.
• I would probably expect something that can work with 20 points maximum, at least to be useful. Maybe, like, having the defensive part for 20 pts and then an offensive one with synergies ?

But could it be better ? How ?

• Yes
• I'd love many builds to have the option to play ES, even non-light builds.
• I'd love ES to grant a bit of tankyness to the sorcs who want to, at the cost of damage.
• I'd like it to be easier to understand.

Changes I would consider / I would like your thoughts on

• No tk synergy I would remove the tk synergy because, read below, I think there's something better to do. Consequently, the Absorbed Damage Multiplier % would be 100% at all levels.
• Hard points absorb Having the "Absorbs % Damage" in hard points instead of soft points would allow non-light sorcs to play ES, and also reduce the importance of the prebuff nonsense. Sorcs would therefore reach the 85% absorb simply by putting 20 points in the skill.
• Soft points damage reduction By default ES would reduce your damage output by X%. Soft points in ES would reduce your Spell Damage Penalty -% (1 second) (just like teleport does, and they would stack). There would be a floor though, like 10%, meaning ES sorcs would do less damage than non-ES sorcs, because, you know, tradeoffs matter.
• Hybrid Remove the chain lightning requirement to make ES more appealing to non-light sorcs.

Consequences

• Effect on existing builds
  • The late game defensive effects of ES would remain the same (85% reduction, 100% mana)
  • The shield would reduce the sorc's damage output by, say, 10% though. Maybe more if they don't have enough soft points in ES, but a lvl 36 ES would reach the floor, so, that's unchanged. But ...
  • ES would only cost 20 points though (instead of 40), meaning 20 more points for investments in synergies which will probably make up for some of the 10% damage loss.
  • In the end, almost unchanged.
• Effects on new builds
  • Non-light sorcs will be able to use ES. Indeed, it only takes 20 points and no additional requirements after teleport. If you want a tanky blizzard sorc, you can, if you switch one synergy to invest in ES.
  • ES would remain better for light sorcs, because they can more easily reach the lvl 36 damage reduction floor. Other sorcs would probably accept 15% or 20% damage loss instead of 10, and, I mean, maybe they'll want that or not.
  • Last, but not least, ES could now be used as a "one point skill" for those who want to sacrifice damage for survivability. For example, at level one, we could have values such as (+30% damage done to mana, - 30% spell damage) ; a reasonable tradeoff for some, but not for all. A meaningful choice maybe ?

I guess that's it. Maybe I'm drunk. Maybe there's something to keep here.
Have a nice day !
Till reset ;)

DC Next presents:

I AM BATMAN

In The Perfect Machine
Issue Three: A Reflection Of The Soul
Written by ClaraEclair
Edited by AdamantAce & VoidKiller826
 
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“If you'll sit down, I'll bear your logs the while: pray, give me that; I'll carry it to the pile,” said Christine, reading aloud from her newest copy of The Tempest.
“No, precious creature;” recited Cass with a giggle as she laid on Christine’s abdomen, head resting against the woman’s chest. Christine herself was sitting on her bed, leaning against the wall behind her, holding the book in front of Cass’ face with her legs wrapped around the girl’s waist. “I had rather crack my sin-ews, break my back, than you should such dis-hon-our undergo, while I sit lazy by.”
It was their second time going through the play — Christine helping Cassandra with her lines whenever she needed it, though it became less and less common the more they read. Cass particularly seemed to enjoy scenes between Ferdinand and Miranda.
“It would become me as well as it does you: and I should do it,” Christine continued, bouncing her eyes between the play and Cass with an appreciative eye. “With much more ease; for my good will is to it, and yours it is against.”
“Poor worm, thou art infected!” Cass said, nearly shouting the line in an exaggerated tone as she traced the line on the page with her finger, eliciting a gentle laugh from Christine in response. Cassandra’s cheeks warmed as she quickly moved her gaze down and away — even despite the fact that Christine couldn’t even see her face. “This visitation shows it.” She almost muttered the words as she thought about them.
“That was an aside, Cassie,” Christine said, unable to hide the smile across her face. Cassandra didn’t even hear it. She looked up at Christine and felt nothing but appreciation and adoration. Before Cass could even respond, a small chirp sang its way out of Christine’s phone, a reminder she had set for herself so as to not forget her upcoming show with the ballet company.
Early mornings reading with Cassandra on the weekends were often short — having free time during the performance season was a rarity — and she regretted not being able to spend more time with the Caped Crusader, but Cass never seemed to mind. Even just a few moments was enough.
“That’s me,” said Christine, a passive disappointment in her voice. Picking up her phone as she set the book down and turned the alarm off. Cass scooted down slightly, still laying on Christine’s chest, but far enough down to let her look all the way up at her friend’s face. With a smile, Christine raised her hand and tapped the tip of Cass’ nose. Cass scrunched her face up for a moment, yet remained right where she was.
She had memorised Christine’s face endlessly, she knew just what kind of smile brought out her dimples the most, how her eyes danced when she felt excitement — no matter how mild — and yet whenever she looked, it felt like the first time all over again. There was an alluring magic in Christine’s face, something that Cass could appreciate endlessly.
Christine, though she had never said it aloud before, saw that same magic, even in the time before she had seen the girl beneath the mask. Cass never asked of anything, never pushed or pulled too far, she simply enjoyed life and the duty she held. She had a curious mind, always willing to learn, and she loved stories and Christine loved telling them.
She knew she had to leave, but she wanted to stay for at least a few more minutes. The important things in life could wait a few moments while she held a debate in her mind. What felt like eternity of self-conflict — which, in reality, was only a few seconds — resulted in the asking of a simple question that she was terrified to hear the answer to, “Can I kiss you?”
Cass froze, her face slowly dropping at the question as a knot formed in her stomach. She maintained her eye contact with Christine, who saw the reaction and subsequently showed worry. Her head wavering over Cassandra’s, face-to-face, eyes searching for any sort of positive answer, the air turned ice cold, stinging Christine’s heart.
The beating against Cassandra’s chest grew more intense, her palms becoming sweaty as she began to feel suffocated, squeezing her lungs. Something was on her back, crawling up and down, pinching her neck and piercing her skin. Her mouth felt dry, her jaw seemed to ache, and her ears seemed to pick up every possible little sound and amplify it tenfold, making listening to anything entirely unbearable. She tried to hide her quickened breathing through a false demeanour of calm, but she knew that Christine would see right through it.
Christine’s search for something, anything that would indicate that Cass wanted to reciprocate — or, at the very least, that Cass didn’t hate her — came up entirely empty. The silence was unbearable, she needed to do something...
“No,” the word was firm, but the uncertainty behind it, shadowed by something else that Cass couldn’t put a word to, was more than clear. She saw beneath Christine’s eyes that she wanted to move in, to try without an answer and hope to anything and everything that it would work. Her eyes widened at the answer, darting back and forth over Cassandra’s face, hoping for some sort of clue or method to get out of the position she had put herself in. There was none.
“I…” Christine said, although unable to find the right words. Faster than she could even process the fact, Cass got up out of Christine’s lap, shaking her hands violently as she searched the floor for her jacket. “Cassie, I’m sorry…”
There were no more words between the two as Cass left, leaving Christine alone in her apartment, sitting on her bed with the opened copy of The Tempest flipped over beside her. Taking a deep, shaky breath as she picked up the book, she grabbed a bookmark nearby and slotted it between the pages.
 
 
The walk through the streets of Gotham could be described as nothing short of excruciating. The clothes on her back stung her skin, and even the sound of her own breathing was overwhelming. Palms held tight over her ears, she clenched and relaxed her fists over and over again. She needed somewhere to calm down, and the Toth Gym was the perfect place to do so.
After climbing in through an unlocked window, Cass dropped her jacket to the floor — trying to ignore the rest of the bothersome sensations she felt — and immediately headed straight for the row of punching bags situated behind the boxing ring.
It only took a few minutes for the sounds of fists hitting leather to wake Ted Grant from his sleep, and despite his early morning grogginess, he knew exactly who was wailing on his equipment. Drinking an egg yolk before pulling a prepared protein shake from his fridge, he walked out onto the gym floor with his boxing pads in hand.
Approaching Cass from the side, he took a quick swig of his shake and put the pads on his hands. Readying his hands to catch the blows, he counted down from three in his mind.
Three…
Two…
One…
“Go!” He shouted, causing Cass to immediately twist in his direction, flawlessly switching between the heavy bag and the pads, throwing a heavy left at Ted without losing an ounce of momentum.
The flurry of blows kept coming, Ted barely able to keep up while managing a few swipes toward her to keep her on her toes. He could see, clear as day, that something was bothering her, so he let her refocus and clear her mind in her own way — fighting.
Before either of them knew it, Cass dropped her fists, her breathing heavy and laboured, and dropped herself to the floor. She laid on her back, staring up at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling above as Ted sat down beside her, offering a bottle of iced water. She took it and, with the lid closed, set it down on the ground at her side.
“Ev’rythin’ alright, kid?” he asked, taking another swig of his shake, gulping down hard. She didn’t move her head, only continuing to stare at nothing as she lifted her hand toward her face.
“I feel…” she began, unsure how to vocalise her thoughts. After a moment of silence, she shook her hand up and down between her forehead and her chin for a few moments before letting it fall down onto her abdomen.
“Like a jumbled mess?” He asked, raising a brow at her. She stopped for a moment, thinking, before looking over at him and nodding. He pursed his lips, offering a slow, pensive nod of his own. “What’s got you so bunched up?” She sighed.
“I… Have you…” she stopped, cringing to herself as she tried to formulate her thoughts into words. “There’s a girl…” She watched a smirk form on Ted’s face. “She wants to kiss, but…” She stopped talking, instead bringing her hand back up to her face and pressing a finger to her mouth. She frowned.
“Do you wanna kiss this lady?” He asked as he tilted his head slightly, keeping an eye on her actions. He wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but it wasn’t often that she spoke of her own troubles.
She bit her tongue. “No… I don’t know…”
“You into her?” He asked. It was a simpler question. She looked back up toward the ceiling and nodded. “You tell ‘er?” A nod. “In your way or hers?” Cass paused.
“My…?”
“Ev’rybody’s got different way of sayin’ the mushy stuff,” Ted said, thinking back to his younger days — to Irina. “And ev’rybody’s got different ways o’ reactin’ to it. Lord knows my Irina and I had our troubles.”
There were a few moments of silence.
“Your way o’ talkin’ is different from hers,” Ted said, picking up his shake and swirling it around in the bottle. It was an easy observation to make. “You understand everything in your own way.”
“Yes,” said Cass, her words slow as she thought. “I… Touching is hard. Punching is easy, but… touching… and the feelings… I see them, in faces, arms, legs, everywhere. It’s all I know… and then I feel them… and then I…” she raised her hands above her chest and began squeezing her fists tightly, “feel them.”
“You ain’t known a lot o’ love growin’ up, have you?” Ted asked. Cass’ eyes opened up wide, alarmed at his word choice.
“No, not—”
“Face it, kid,” he interrupted her, a smirk on his face. She remained quiet for a few moments.
“No,” she said in a low voice. “Anger, mostly. The mission. Fighting. Never felt this before.” Ted gave a lighthearted chuckle, earning him a confused gaze from Cass. “I feel… scared…”
“Well, that fear is a good thing. Tells you thatcha don’t wanna screw it all up,” he said. “Just don’t let the girl go around thinking she’s done somethin’ wrong. Ya gotta talk about this. Take it from a man who learnt this lesson three times over.”
 
 
The call came fast, entirely unexpected by both Batman and Oracle, who had been under the impression that she had her finger firmly on the pulse of where the police were at in the investigation of recent murders and kidnappings.
The Dark Knight’s heavy boots hit the asphalt outside of Nicola Gigli’s small home with purpose as she dismounted her motorcycle.
It was noon, the sun obscured by thick clouds letting down soft rain upon the city. A small group of police waited for Batman at the front door of the investor’s home, ready to take her to the commissioner for her briefing.
“Batman,” James Gordon called out as she walked through the front door of the suburban home, far out in Bristol. He seemed almost relieved despite the scene, his expression contrasting the eye bags he seemed to boast. “We’ve got another victim,” that much was obvious, “but we’ve also got leads on Grantham now.”
Batman’s brow furrowed as she looked the commissioner in the eye. She wasn’t convinced that Grantham was the guilty party, it seemed too disconnected, but she kept listening. If it was him, getting the case closed was the most important part.
“Latest vic was a baker by the name of Nicola Gigli,” Gordon continued, bringing Batman deeper into the house to the living room, where intense signs of struggle lay. Broken mirrors and picture frames, furniture thrown, even splatters of blood on the floors. “Owns a new bakery in Burnside, delivered to the force a few times and, get this, Nathan Grantham. He catered to Browne’s big night and Greene’s fundraiser. Grantham’s been threatening this guy a lot lately.”
He continued leading Batman through the scene. As she moved, she took notice of one of the fallen picture frames. Pictured in front of an elegant landscape was a heavyset man, with a wide face, small glasses, and a scar on his philtrum from what looked like a cleft palate. He was massive, how could Grantham have taken a man as big as Gigli at his age?
“Right here,” said Gordon, pointing to the doorknob on the back door of the house. “CSIs found Grantham’s prints on the door. Lock looks like it’s been broken for months, he would have been able to catch Gigli by surprise.”
Batman remained silent.
“We’ve already sent some out to make the arrest,” Gordon continued. “I’ve got some paperwork and press to handle, but we still need some eyes on his home. A few officers are there now, they’ll let you in.”
 
 
To Maps, the news that the person who took Natalie Greene had been arrested felt too good to be true. She had just come out of class, ready to move to the cafeteria for lunch, when she saw the notification pop up on her phone.
Business Analyst and Investor Nathan Grantham Arrested Under Murder And Kidnapping Suspicions.
She had met Nathan Grantham before — her father hosted a dinner party he had attended — and, sure, he was mean to people but he never seemed to come off as someone who would murder and kidnap people. It felt odd that he was arrested for the murders, something didn’t connect.
Sitting on a bench in the school courtyard next to her friends Olive Silverlock, Pomeline Fritch, and Colton Rivera, Maps couldn’t bring her face out of her phone as she searched and scrolled every article she could find on the arrest of Grantham.
“Maps,” Olive called out, waving her hand in front of Maps’ eyes. “Earth to Maps!”
“What?” Maps asked, slightly startled as she looked away from her screen and toward her platinum-haired best friend. From beside her, Pomeline chuckled.
“What’s gotten into you?” Asked Olive. “You’re never this obsessed with your phone. I half expect you to get sucked into it, now.”
“It’s nothing,” Maps said, dismissing her friend’s concerns and she looked back down and continued through as many details as she could find.
“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a mystery to solve,” said Colton, taking his feet off the table as he leaned forward, resting on his elbows as he took a bite of a hotdog he’d bought from the cafeteria. Even for him, it was way overpriced for how bland it tasted. “Who are you and what’d you do with the real Maps Mizoguchi?”
“Very funny, Colton,” Maps said, finally putting the phone down and giving an exasperated sigh. “It’s about Lindsay, and Natalie, and this murder thing.” The table seemed to quiet down.
“I thought you said Batman told you to stop paying attention to it?” Olive asked, moving her hand forward to hold Maps’ own.
“Now do we really believe she met the Batman, or—” Pomeline quickly raised her hand and flicked Colton across the forehead, his startled jump almost knocking his glasses from his face. “Ow!”
“Shut up, dimwit,” she said quickly as he rubbed his forehead, readjusting his shades back to their regular position.
“She did!” Maps exclaimed, picking her phone up again to pull out another article. “And they arrested someone for it! But I don’t think they got the right person…”
“What makes you say that?” asked Pomeline. “If they got the guy, they got the guy–”
“I don’t know, but I just feel like this isn’t the right guy…” Maps continued. “I’ve met Mr. Grantham, and he wasn’t that bad… I don’t think he’s a murderer…”
“He’s a total jerk, though,” Pomeline commented, opening her bottle of water and taking a sip. “I’d be okay with it if he didn’t get out.”
“I never said he wasn’t mean, I just don’t think he did it,” Maps retorted. “Whoever did do it is still out there, somewhere. If Natalie was taken, who will it be next?”
The table fell silent, pondering the suggestion. None of them wished to admit it, but Maps had some semblance of a point. Taking uneasy glances at each other, Olive and Pomeline felt that they needed to find a way to dissuade Maps from—
“Watch my stuff!” Maps shouted as she stood from the bench and jogged off to the bike racks by the entrance of the school Campus.
“Wait!” Shouted Olive, standing from the bench in pursuit, but before long Maps was already gone. She sighed.
“I kinda like this new Maps,” Colton said, licking his fingers from the mustard that had spilled out of his hotdog and onto his hands. In response, Pomeline swiftly raised her hand up and gave a light slap to the back of his head. “What was that for?”
“She’s going to get herself into trouble,” said Olive. “I just wish she wouldn’t run off like that without us.”
 
 
Batman walked into the lobby of the high-rise apartment building with a presence nigh impossible to ignore, the police officers and receptionists all falling silent as the Dark Knight strode into the illustrious building as if bringing the grime of the city into the sanitised room under her heels. A few officers cleared their throats to break the silence, but none seemed to bother approaching the Caped Crusader to guide her to the apartment of Grantham.
“Batman?” Called a woman’s voice from around a nearby corner, walking out a moment later. She was slightly taller than Batman and wore a standard police uniform, hands resting on her belt. “Detective Blair Wong,” she said. “I heard your boots. Elevators are this way.”
Batman nodded and followed behind Detective Wong to the two elevators around the corner, stopping in front of the doors as they waited for them to open.
Detective Wong was quiet and measured, but as Cass examined her face, she could see the distaste she held for the masked hero. Was it Batman herself that Detective Wong had an issue with? Or was there more to it? She almost felt curious enough to ask the detective, but she feared the question may exacerbate the issues.
“Let go of me!” A young voice shouted from nearby, clearly in a struggle with one of the police officers in the lobby. “I live here!” Batman recognised the voice and took a moment to sigh as she argued with herself whether to acknowledge the girl. After a few silent moments, she turned and walked back toward the main hall of the lobby.
Maps Mizoguchi, as Batman had expected, was in the process of being carried out of the building by two officers, school uniform still on with a small, green domino mask over her eyes. On the ground a few feet away, her yellow flower hair clip laid on the ground, likely thrown from her head as she thrashed in the officers’ grip.
Taking slow steps toward the girl, leaning down to collect the hair clip, Batman’s presence seemed to calm all involved, with Maps ceasing her struggling while the officers apprehending her seemed to loosen their grip. Eyes from all around stared holes into the back of Batman’s skull, the watchful gazes of numerous police officers analysing the Dark Knight’s next moves closely.
Batman examined Maps closely, looking deeply into the girl’s eyes. Behind the fear, contending with her curiosity, was a desire to help — one not unlike that which Cass commonly felt. Seeing friends, loved ones, even strangers — people — in pain drove her. The desire to correct wrongs.
Dominating that, however, was reverence. Batman was a superhero, a legend, a piece of modern mythology, and she was simply a schoolgirl who wanted her friends to be okay. In her eyes, Batman could not fail, should not fail, for if they did then it would destroy her faith in the world.
Maps Mizoguchi was wrong about Batman. Batman was only human, the man or woman beneath the cowl as prone to mistakes as any. The Bat is the symbol of hope to Gotham that would let the people know that their protectors would not stop fighting, no matter what. To Cassandra Cain, it was a symbol of compassion and second chances.
Cass knew that no person was perfect, especially her, and what she saw in Maps was a recipe for disaster.
“She is with me,” said Batman, seeing the light in Maps’ eyes brighten up, a smile creeping onto her face despite the attempts to suppress it. Turning quickly, Batman did not beckon Maps to follow, understanding that the girl would be on her heels anyway. The police officers scoffed as they warily backed away, keeping a close eye on the Caped Crusader and her new shadow.
“Batman,” Detective Wong began, stopping her as she rounded the corner. “We shouldn’t be bringing minors into crime scenes.”
“No one said that to me one year ago.”
Detective Wong’s face went slack as she bit down on her tongue, mentally cursing herself and the city for its vices. How could she have forgotten the slew of Robins that had assisted the Batmen of Gotham? She would stay quiet while guiding Batman up to Grantham’s home.
She didn’t have much of an opportunity, however, as the moment the elevator doors closed and the trio made their way to the twenty-second floor, Batman spoke, “You are new.”
“Yes,” Detective Wong said stiffly. “I am. I transferred from Cape May a few weeks ago. Why?”
Batman remained silent, seeing everything she needed from the detective. The rest of the journey was silent, the low hum of the motors the only sound, bookended by a short chime as they arrived at their destination. Keeping her eyes off the girl, Batman could feel the energy emanating from Maps behind her.
The door of the elevator exited directly into Grantham’s home, beginning in a short corridor with shoe racks and small carpets. Maps took a moment to kick her shoes together, shaking any dirt off, to the ire of detective Wong, who knew that having the girl at the scene could risk admissibility of any collected evidence. With a sigh, she pulled a set of latex gloves from her pocket — given to her by a crime scene investigator earlier in the day — and handed them to Maps.
Trying to be quick, she took the gloves and put them on, signalling with a nod when she was ready to move forward.
Batman wasn’t surprised to see the extravagance within Grantham’s home, the eccentric modernism clashing with the rustic traditionalism, laptops next to typewriters, and an electric oven with a stove-top kettle sitting on one of the elements. The centrepiece of the entire open-concept apartment was a large, sparkling glass chandelier above a glass dining table with a white wooden frame, surrounded by black-dyed rosewood chairs.
Of the three women, Maps seemed least impressed with the indulgence on display within Grantham’s home. Detective Wong had grown up poor, while Batman only recently found herself allowed to appreciate the beauty in life.
But she knew that despite the amount of money needed to afford this beauty, there was no meaning behind it; extravagance and design left to be appreciated by none, a symbol of status more than the emotions that beauty could ignite. There was nothing to love in the home of Nathan Grantham, for it was cold and uninviting — lacking the warmth of true beauty’s embrace. Cass could not truly appreciate the emotionless hell that money bought. There were far more beautiful, meaningful things in her life that she would truly love.
“He is an angry man,” said Batman, muttering to herself, though her words were heard by the two others by her side. “Bitter.”
“Either of us could have told you that,” Detective Wong said, looking back and forth between Maps and Batman. “He’s not exactly quiet.”
“I know,” Batman said. “But he has no joy. Not anywhere.” Looking over at a large bookshelf to the far left of the apartment, she pursed her lips. “He doesn’t read those.”
She was right. Clean of dust, if only for the maid he hired weekly, none of the books were worn in any way, as pristine as the day they were printed. None of the pages inside found the tips of fingers or the curious eye of a reader wishing to know more, they simply existed to say Nathan Grantham knows about books.
Taking slow steps, she approached the bookcase, Cass soon noticed a small slip of paper sitting between two novels, slightly protruding as if to beg for her attention. Pulling the small note from between the neglected books, Cass opened it and tried to read what was inside.
“This is random words?” Batman said, confused. Maps approached her quickly, notebook in hand from drawing the apartment in a detailed sketch of the scene, annotations on multiple points of interest. Taking a look around Batman’s shoulder at the note, she examined the series of random letters carefully, tossing them around in her mind carefully.
Bloke Run So
Maps squinted at the paper for a moment, and soon enough the footsteps of detective Wong followed behind.
“What does that mean?” the detective asked, furrowing her brow.
“I think it’s an anagram,” said Maps, proceeding to find a fresh page in her notebook and begin to write down endless words incessantly. “Busker Loon? Bulk rose on? Bunker Solo?” Detective Wong and Batman both stared at Maps as she rearranged the letters on her page, soon having to turn to a new one as her scratched out half answers filled up her space. “Broken Soul!”
“Who just hides a word puzzle in their home?” Wong asked, rubbing her forehead as she looked down at the note. Cass, however, held her attention elsewhere. She felt a call for attention from the one thing in the apartment that seemed to deserve her eyes, the largest display of wealth and aesthetically bankrupt artistic taste — the chandelier.
Setting the paper down on the bookshelf once more, Batman rushed toward the centre of the apartment, hastily jumping up onto the glass table and examining every jewel she could see, looking for any sort of imperfection she could find. Something had to lead them to evidence against Grantham — if he really was the killer — or prove his innocence.
A small glint of light crossed Batman’s eye, and she finally found the right crystal. In the outer rim, among the largest cluster of jewels, was one plastic replica with a noticeable hole in the side. Cass pulled it off of the frame and jumped down from the table, ignoring the dirt her boots left on its surface.
In the hole was a small key with a few numbers on it.
“I think that’s a safety deposit box key,” said Wong as she approached, extending a gloved hand to Batman. Upon taking the key, she looked closely. “Looks like it might be for Gotham National, I can let the commish know. If we can get a warrant, this could lead to something.”
“I don’t—” Batman began, however the chime from Wong’s phone interrupted her. Taking a moment to answer the call, the detective took a few steps away from Batman and Maps.
“We were just talking about you, Commissioner,” Detective Wong said. “All good things. We found something that may give us an edge on Grantham, if it pans out.”
Batman, standing behind the detective, furrowed her brow. It was certainly a find, but she wasn’t convinced that incriminating evidence against Grantham would be sitting in a bank. She considered that he was an investor and could be using it to his benefit, but nothing sat right about suspecting Grantham. Cass took a quick glance at Maps, who had gone back to drawing out the scene and scanning small details while also taking quick looks up at Batman, as if she were still in disbelief that they were in the same room.
“Yeah, I’ve got that,” Wong said, her voice low and slightly irritated. “I’ll send her your way, sir.” Within a few moments, the detective hung up the phone and approached the Dark Knight. “Commissioner is asking for you at the station, he says that Grantham wants to speak with you.”
Cass cocked her head slightly, confused as the request for Grantham to meet her face-to-face. She simply offered a quick nod to detective Wong before leaving, with Maps hot on her heels.
 
 
“Stay here,” commanded Batman to Maps as they stood in the bullpen of the GCPD, ready to confront Grantham after he had asked to see her.
“But—!”
“No,” Batman interrupted her, voice firm and unmoving. “Stay here.” Begrudgingly, with her arms crossed and a small pout, Maps obeyed, staying in a chair next to Blair Wong’s desk as Batman moved toward the nearby interrogation rooms. Gordon stood outside of it, scratching his chin in an attempt to distract his hands from grabbing a cigarette from the carton in his jacket.
“Still got your doubts?” he asked as she stopped in front of the door. He wanted to hear her tell him that she was sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that they got the perpetrator. But she couldn’t say that she thought Grantham was the one, and so she didn’t.
“Lights off,” she said simply, waiting outside the door.
“Yeah, that’s what I figured,” Gordon’s voice was low as he raised his hands toward an officer at the end of the hall by a series of light switches, who turned them all off at the signal. The hallway outside of the interrogation rooms, as well as the rooms themselves, all fell pitch black, allowing for Batman to make her way inside Grantham’s room.
Standing tall above him from behind his seat, she waited for the lights to turn back on before making any sort of move.
“Christ!” He shouted as her figure appeared to him in the one-way mirror ahead, causing him to almost jump out of his seat if it weren’t for the stern hand she placed on his shoulder to hold him in place.
“Tell me why,” she commanded, staying behind him and staring into his eyes through the mirror.
“Why what?!”
“Jonathan Browne. Dead,” she said, beginning to circle him slowly, allowing her heavy footsteps to reverberate through the room. “Natalie Greene. Missing.” Beads of sweat began to trickle down the sides of his face as pleading eyes started up at the woman in front of him. “Nicola Gigli. Missing.”
“What do you think I have to do with any of that!?” He demanded, falling over his words as he slammed his palm against the table.
“Hated Browne for his women,” Batman continued, ignoring his question. “Hated Greene for her money.” Grantham’s mind seemed to focus, analysing what the Dark Knight was saying, though his fears remained high. “Hated Gigli for his catering.”
“I didn’t do it!” He shouted, his voice now coarse. “I would sue them if I wanted them gone, I didn’t kill them!”
“I know,” said Batman. “You are too pathetic. But you are a target.”
Grantham’s face dropped as much at the insults as the insinuation that Batman knew he was innocent and yet still opted to terrify him so needlessly.
“The police have motive,” she continued. “They have evidence. They will get you if they are convinced. I can convince them.”
“What?” He asked once more, shifting from nervous to confused as she leaned on the table in front of him, resting on her knuckles.
“You know about New Gotham,” she said, not taking a response from him. “Tell me what is happening, who is leading it, and I will say I do not think you are the killer.” Grantham sneered.
“You’re bluffing.”
She was.
But he wouldn’t know.
“Try me,” she said.
“I would, if I knew anything,” said Grantham, sitting back in his chair. “As far as I’m concerned, New Gotham is a district in the city, and I don’t know what the hell I’d need to tell you about that for.”
“Organised crime,” Batman said, looking into his eyes to gauge his response. There was nothing.
“If you think I am involved in—”
“Quiet,” she said, watching his face stiffen in both disbelief and fear. She stood up straight once more and peered deeply into his face. Without any further words, she left the room.
“Batman!” Gordon called as he left the observation room in an attempt to catch up with the Caped Crusader.
“He did not do it,” said Batman. “But keep an eye on him.”