Sonata adderall

TL;DR: Despite astonishing initial results my first few months on Intuniv (which was working pretty consistently by the end of that period), the effects seemed to dwindle at some indeterminate point between 2 and 5 months on 1mg (details below). Now I get a few spikes of noticeable improvement within the first few weeks of a dose change, which eventually diminishes after a month or two to a few days a month, with no apparent patterns (I keep a detailed log of all my symptoms, activities, meds, foods, etc.). I've tried doses all the way up to 4mg since then, but the results seem roughly the same at each. Why might the initial dose have stopped working?
I'm posting here because I've had several psychiatrists who didn't really have answers for this specific question. I'm hoping that by casting a wider net, I'll be more likely to find someone who has experience with Intuniv in particular.
Demographic details at the end.

—

I'll try to keep this brief, but there is a LOT of detail and nuance to my story.
I was diagnosed with depression at age 15 (started using Wellbutrin a few years before Intuniv), and ADHD at age 30. I think the biggest reason for the delay was that I was very successful academically, and while I do have attention and memory problems, those have never been my biggest impairments (I can explain why if needed). The things that plagued me my entire life were things I didn't even know could be part of a mental disorder, let alone ADHD symptoms: severe difficulty prioritizing, initiating simple tasks, organizing and following through on long-term, self-directed projects, disengaging from hyperfocus, maintaining interest and motivation, and especially regulating emotions (independent from depression; RSD is a big component). Years of therapy and lifestyle changes made only tiny dents in these problems that have tortured me for as long as I can remember.
I felt occasional short glimpses of improvement on Adderall — unusually calm, self-possessed, and mentally present — but not often enough to be useful, at any of the doses I tried. Ritalin did not seem to work at all, but I only tried it a few times. After ruling out stimulants, I was told that Intuniv was more targeted to emotional dysregulation, which was my primary affliction, so I tried it.
When it started working occasionally after a few weeks, I realized that everyone who said there's no such thing as a "miracle pill" were wrong. Intuniv brought me up to a level of functionality, emotional stability, self-control and self-assurance that I had never experienced in my life. I thought to myself, "...So this is what's is like to be normal." I literally cried tears of relief every time I felt the Intuniv working after a few days back at baseline (which I define as the best my mind had ever worked before I started taking ADHD meds). And people who know me well agreed that, on those days, I seemed more stable and happy than ever before.

And I've been kicking myself for what I did next ever since.

After I got a week of consistent daily improvement from 1mg Intuniv while minimizing the severe insomnia it caused as a side effect (which is totally worth the positive effects when they're present), I decided to implement a change to my Wellbutrin dosage, from 187.5mg to 150mg. (I had a dumb reason that sounded like it made sense at the time; can explain if needed).
This turned out to be a mistake: I got pretty badly depressed, and my ADHD symptoms seemed to go back to constant baseline. After a month, I realized the depression wasn't improving at all and switched back to the original Wellbutrin dosage (187.5mg). After several months back on 187.5mg Wellbutrin & 1mg Intuniv, my depression got better — but my ADHD stayed at baseline, with very occasional good days (3-5 a month, most very modest improvements).
So unfortunately, I really muddied the waters by changing the Wellbutrin so early in the Intuniv course. The only explanation that makes sense to me (or either of the psychiatrists I've seen since then) is that the depression during the month of 150mg Wellbutrin masked a period when my brain adapted to the 1mg Intuniv. So I guess by the time I went back to the original doses (the same as when the Intuniv was working), the 1mg wasn't enough anymore...?
I tried a couple of times over the next 7mos to go up to 2mg, but an initial barrier of fatigue deterred me. I later found out, after staying on 2mg for a month and a half, that the fatigue goes away after a couple of weeks. But at the end of that month and a half, I ended up plateauing at baseline again with occasional spikes above. So I moved up to 3mg, stayed there for two months: a lot of hypersomnia and fatigue the whole time, but still occasional spikes above baseline with no apparent causes.
Then I tried 4mg, and for the first couple of months, I had a similar experience to 3mg. Started getting insomnia a few days in a row toward the end of those two months, and my doctor recommended splitting the dose into 2mg morning and evening to even out the side effects. That ended up making me pretty depressed and fatigued most of the next couple of months, so I'm back to 4mg in the evening (never noticed a change in insomnia when I took the whole dose in the morning).
A month ago, it occurred to me that manually splitting my 75mg Wellbutrin IR pills to get my sweet-spot of 187.5mg total might be resulting in uneven doses from day to day, so I switched to a compounded 50mg IR (in addition to the mass-produced 150mg XL). Since switching to 200mg total Wellbutrin (even doses) and 4mg Intuniv at night, I've had more days of insomnia and hyperactivity, and slightly more days above baseline, but also a bit more irritability. The previous time that I went up to 150+75mg Wellbutrin while I was on 1mg Intuniv, my mood seemed to get worse, so I'm hesitant to try that again unless there's good reason to believe that the Wellbutrin would behave differently at higher Intuniv doses.
Another weird quirk about the Intuniv is that I don't think I've ever felt ADHD improvement without the insomnia side effect (it has a noticeably different quality from the normal insomnia that I've dealt with my whole life, which is caused by a sleep phase disorder and I think the ADHD itself).
I would love to just go ahead and try 5mg, or try going without Intuniv for a few months and see what happens, but changes are very costly. The higher my dose, the more disruptive the adjustment periods become. When I went from 3 to 4mg, switched to a split 2/2 dose, or even moved 4mg from morning to evening, I had a week or so of extremely severe depression before I even got back to baseline, let alone felt any positive effects. This has taken a toll on my husband over the past year and I don't want to subject him to another period like that without sound reasoning.

Has anyone here had a patient with a similar issue? Why do you think the 1mg might have stopped working? Should I be waiting more than 2 months to see if a dose is working when it doesn't seem like things are on an upward trajectory? Is it possible for people to adapt to 1mg Intuniv within 5 months of starting it? Is there a nonlinear dose response (e.g., deterioration from 2->3mg but improvement from 4->5mg)? Is there an interaction with Wellbutrin that I don't know about?

—

Demographics:
Age: 31yo
Sex: female
Height: 5'1"
Weight: 100lbs
Race: white
Duration of complaint: 1.5 years
Psychiatric diagnoses: ADHD-C; MDD
Current psychiatric meds:

• Intuniv, 4mg/day
• Wellbutrin XL, 150mg/day
• Wellbutrin IR, 50mg/day (compounded)
• Adderall, as needed (usu. 5-15mg 2x daily, sometimes none; used when ADHD symptoms feel particularly bad, and it helps ~20% of the time, within 20min)

Sleep medications that I've tried and still use occasionally:

• Melatonin, 5mg (helps for normal insomnia, but not strong enough for insomnia caused by Intuniv)
• 5-12.5mg THC/CBD (of varying ratios; I live in a legal weed state; pretty effective but I read it's not safe to take daily)
• Sonata, 20mg (works well in a pinch, but seemed to interfere with Intuniv effects when taken too many days in a row)
• Hydroxyzine, 25mg (too much daytime drowsiness)
• Seroquel, 25mg (maybe causing drowsiness)
• Klonopin, .5mg (used rarely to avoid dependence/tolerance)
• Ambien, 5mg (too risky with memory issues in morning)

Edit: formatting.

26F, 125pounds, white
Medications seem to be interact with each other but my doctor doesn’t understand me when I try to discuss that
Kyleena IUD Adderall 10mg 2x daily- ADHD Nifedipine ER 60mg 1x daily- Raynaud’s Metoprolol 25mg 2x daily- tachycardia? Albuteral- breathing difficulty after COVID Flovent 2x daily- worsening breathing difficulty after starting albuteral Sonata 10-20mg PRN- occasional insomnia Terbinifine 250mg 1x daily- possible fungal infection in toenail
This is long and I apologize but I feel that it is helpful information. I have been on the Adderall since January with major improvements to ADHD symptoms and prescribed by a psychiatrist. It has also caused an increase in BP to “normal” or slightly “above normal” which is great because I had been 95/64 on average and was dealing with a lot of dizziness which stopped. I started seeing a new PCP in March and was given the Nifedipine for Reynauds type symptoms. I had a follow up and was in the middle of a weird episode of rapidly fluctuating tachycardia symptoms that I have had episodes of for 12 years so I was given Metoprolol to control my heart rate and lower my BP. I attempted to voice concerns about lowering my BP since it had went down with the Nifedipine and I didn’t want it to get back to where it had been prior to any medication.
In August I got COVID and ended up needing an Albuteral inhaler after that. The pharmacist asked me what the inhaler was for since it shouldn’t be mixed with a beta blocker. Since the pharmacy system just says not to use beta blockers with asthma or COPD he said it should be fine. I noticed that on days that I forgot to take my pills the albuterol worked really well but on the days that I remembered to take them I needed the inhaler every 2-4 hours. I would push through the pain to make it to at least 5 hours between doses.
I made another appointment to talk to the doctor and was given Flovent to use twice a day in addition to the albuterol. I attempted to communicate that on days I did not take the Adderall, Nifedipine, or Metoprolol the Albuterol worked just fine. I also attempted to state that I was having dizziness again and my BP was down to where it had been before all medications. That was either ignored or my PCP didn’t understand.
I skipped doses and ended up somehow misplacing the metoprolol bottle (and the others but had just picked up refills of them) and never got a refill of it. The dizziness is gone and my BP is back to “normal”. It’s been since August 15th since I’ve taken the metoprolol and haven’t had any unexplained tachycardia issues.
Today I had an appointment and was told that I needed to ask the pharmacy to refill my metoprolol and make sure I’m taking it because my heart rate was 101 and that is “rebound tachycardia”. I had a cup of coffee and my Adderall this morning plus the stress of having a shy bladder and them potentially wanting to do a drug test because the doctor doesn’t like Adderall.
Also during my appointment I asked about my toenails that have looked like they have had a fungal infection for a few years. I was given Terbinafine to try to help clear that up.
I can tell my doctor my symptoms but if I try to communicate that something doesn’t feel right in my body when I take the medication I get ignored. I would love to find a different doctor but unfortunately there aren’t any in the health system that are accepting new patients.
Are all these medications safe to mix together? Are my concerns legitimate? Any suggestions on how to discuss it with my PCP?

After experiencing symptoms for many many years and just assuming they were "normal" for me, I (33f) was diagnosed with POTS in 2018.
My symptoms include dizziness/light-headedness, tingling in arms/hands, increase in heart rate upon standing (resting HR is usually low 50s, standing usually 120), persistent fatigue, noticeable heart palpitations or feeling of tightness, difficulty tolerating exercise, brain fog, headaches, acid reflux, muscle weakness.
I am currently on botox treatments for severe chronic Migraine, and a combo of Adderall/Sonata for Narcolepsy (diagnosed by Neurologist and Sleep Specialist, respectively).
The doctor that diagnosed me was an ENT I was seeing for sinus pain. He diagnosed me with a table test (laying, sitting, standing) and told me there was no treatment, but recommended support groups to help manage my feelings.
I attempted to speak with my GP, he had never heard of POTS and told me to ignore it.
I spoke with my neurologist and he advised he didn't know much and he's not the right person to treat POTS, but isn't aware of many treatments.
I am currently trying to find a support group that fits, but I am feeling so discouraged and overwhelmed by how physically (and mentally) bad I feel with no medical support.
What kind of doctor might be familiar enough to help? And if there's no treatment, is it useless to keep looking?
Thank you for any advice or recommendations, I really appreciate it.

Original post by /u/damysdead
I did not write this post and am simply reposting it given that it is valuable and well-written harm reduction information.
To start off, all of the information written here is for the sake of harm reduction because I couldn’t find a hefty guide on how to snort correctly but I did pick up useful tips from a handful of sources that are listed below. ALWAYS DO RESEARCH FROM MORE THAN ONE SOURCE BEFOREHAND. Even if it seems easy you can always learn something new, there’s no such thing as too much info. Without further ado here are the sections:

1. Snorting – what is it? Types/methods of insufflation
2. Is my substance snortable?
3. How do I do it?
4. Sources

1. Snorting – what is it? Types/methods of insufflation
Snorting or insufflating is the act of absorbing a drug through the nasal membrane(back of the nose) and into the surrounding blood vessels which carry the drug to the heart, where it can be carried throughout the entire body, including all major organs as well as the brain. The drug must then pass through the blood-brain barrier—a highly selective and protective lining that separates the blood from the brain—before it can interact with receptors in the brain and elicit its effects, unlike oral administration where the drug travels through the stomach(digestive tract lining) and the liver where there is a loss because of metabolization. By snorting the substance, you often get a stronger high and a faster one since it takes approx. 5-10 minutes for the substance to reach your brain. SNORTING CAN CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE TO YOUR NASAL MEMBRANE. IT’S EASIER TO OVERDOSE AND/OR PASS OUT. ALWAYS DOSE LESS WHEN SNORTING.
Methods – I came across three ways of snorting, however in this guide I’ll be focusing on the first and most used one – snorting dry fine powder. The second method consists of snorting your substance mixed with little water, forming a solution which you snort with a straw and the third – insufflation with a bendy straw – substance in the straw, one end in your nose the other in your mouth, you blow it into your nose but it can bounce out of your nose. I don’t have any experience with those two so please if you’re considering them do your research((some sources below)). Another method of mouth suction without a bendy straw is also worth mentioning – it’s called the lung safe snorting and you can read about it here https://www.bluelight.org/xf/threads/lung-safe-snorting.587220/
2. Is my substance snortable?
For a substance to be snortable it NEEDS to be soluble in water. You can check the drug's solubility on sites like Wikipedia. While you’re at it, never forget to check the BA (Bioavailability – how much of the substance the body absorbs depending on the route of administration) and the metabolism of the drug. Snorting substances that are metabolized mostly in the liver is often pointless e.g. codeine. CHECK THE DOSE FOR INSUFFLATION ON SITES LIKE Tripsit.me or use the app KnowDrugs, both very good sources for dosing, effects, interactions and duration for most substances. Commonly snorted drugs include: heroin, oxycodone and other prescription opioids like Vicodin, cocaine, amphetamines(Adderall, Concerta), sleeping pills(Lunesta, Sonata, Ambien), a few benzodiazepines, ketamine, bath salts and MDMA. ((I only have experience with snorting oxycodone so if you have questions for that substance in particular, I’ll gladly provide info))
3. How do I do it?
Hopefully you read all of the information above as it is all very important to know what you’re getting into and how the process works. Now that you know all of that, let’s get to the steps
1) If your substance doesn’t come in a capsule with powder you can just open or inside the capsule are orbs, crush your pill of choice as finely as possible. Beware – extended-release capsules contain fillers. If you cannot extract them, crush them as well as possible too. ALWAYS CHECK THE CONTENTS OF THE PILL/CAPSULE ONLINE. The finer the powder the better – goal is to cover as much area of the nasal membrane as possible. It absorbs tiny specs better as bigger pieces tend to take longer to dissolve or don’t at all and you’re just wasting product as well as making absorbing harder. Ways you can crush pills as finely as possible include little/medium scissors(disinfect beforehand), credit cards, hammer or something heavy while the pill/s are in a bag so the powder doesn’t fly off as well as spice/herb crusher (aka mortar and pestle)
2) It’s good to prep your nose with saline solution (water and salt mixture). USE ONLY SPRAYS WITH SALT AND WATER AS SOME SPRAYS WITH MEDICATION CAN CAUSE IRRITATION OF THE MEMBRANE AND PREVENT ABSORBING. You can make your own saline solution at home((source below)) or you can put 1-3 drops of water in each nostril and let it drip down your throat. Wetness of the nasal cavity helps with absorbing. Making sure your nose isn’t clogged up is a must, however don’t over blow it, it can cause irritation to the membrane.
3) Now that you’ve prepped your substance and your nose it’s time to draw your lines. It’s better to snort a few short and thin lines. Approx. 4-6cm each(1.5 to 2.3 inches). You’re free to experiment but I recommend still starting with little
4) DON’T EVER USE BILLS/MONEY. Straws are a much better affordable alternative as well as new post-it notes. Don’t use the same straw/note as your buddies/partnewhoever it might be. There’s a risk of infection, Hepatitis C and more. Personally I use straws and cut them up to around 4.5cm(1.7 inch).
5) Grab your tube and put one end around 1cm(1/3 inch)deep into one nostril in an angle closer to your inner nasal wall(septum area) and bring the tube to the fine powder. Breathe out without blowing the substance away and shut your other nostril with your free hand. Don’t snort in a 90°(straight) angle. You should inhale as if sniffing a flower(no, not lightly sniffing a flower) but if you do it too harsh you’ll feel it drip down your throat, and we want to minimize that. So experiment and see how hard works for you.
6) Change the nostrils with each line so you can wait for absorption(wait around 2mins after filling both nostrils). If you want you can press the one you’ve just snorted with and inhale and exhale a few times with the clear one. Putting drops of water or using saline spray after EACH line isn’t recommended but you can do it once so often or just in the beginning and after you’ve finished all your lines. You can also use a wet q-tip/cotton swab to clean your nose at the end.
7) If the throat drip is too disgusting for you I recommend chewing gum while snorting.
edit: IF YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR OWN SALINE SOLUTION please use distilled water. That is water without any possible bacteria. You can distill your own water and here's a helpful guide - https://m.psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Nasal_spray_guide
4. Sources
https://www.verywellmind.com/harm-reduction-tips-for-cocaine-users-21993 - harm reduction tips for snorting cocaine https://www.webmd.com/allergies/saline-spray - how to make saline solution and what it is https://www.bluelight.org/xf/threads/maximize-snorting-efficiency-tips-tricks-teks.568367/ - another thread about snorting, mentions the other methods

Hey everyone! I have a couple questions abour medication response, based on previous responses to medication.
I just had my first two ketamine infusions, one being 0.4mg/kg, and the one this morning being 0.5mg/kg. I’ve has the strongest response from this treatment than from any i’ve had at all. This morning i went through an event after my infusion that reminded me of a traumatic event, it really scared me, not knowing why i was upset because of the effect of the ketamine.
My psychiatrist walked into the room and saw me crying, and i told her the situation that had occurred, she started to ask me a few questions, ending in a realization it made me remember a traumatic event, and since she helped me through it during, and made my reaction seem normal, i think it’s not going to bother me anymore.
I’d usual get mad at a person not involved in what triggered me, but rhis time i had a natural reaction and cryed, feeling pure pain without a hostile reaction. I’m so proud of myself and i’m so happy ketamine is working for me. Yes i’m on a fairly low dose, but it’s already working very well. It’s helping with my anxiety, depression, and drug cravings since the first infusion, and now trauma.
My question is, is there any medications that you can take daily that working on the same receptors as ketamine without the psychoactive effect? Anything that i could use so the periods between infusions where my symptoms come back, or somerhing i could use for maintenance so i wouldn’t have to get infusions as regularly as the usual one month?
I’m thinking about maybe selegiline, patch form, 6mg so no dietary restrictions or hypertensive crisis (yes i know it’s not that bad but i’d rather not go through it or risk it), if you have any recommendations please share!
Diagnosis i have: • Treatment Resistant Generalized Anxiety Disorder • Traatment Resistant Depression • Social Phobia • Panic Disorder • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder • Substance/Opioid Use Disorder • Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder Type 2 • Chronic Insomnia • Irritable Bowel Syndrome Type M • Gastroesophageal Reflux Disorder • Gilbert’s Syndrome • Was Misdiagnosed With Bipolar 1 Disorder During Substance Abuse, Now Not Diagnosed
I’ve trialed 30 medications as of now. Those being: • Benzos: 2mg qd + 2mg did Lorazepam (Ativan), 0.25mg prn Alprazolam (Xanax), 0.25mg qd + 0.5mg did Clonazepam ODT (Klonopin Wafers), and 1.75-5mg a day Clonazepam (Klonipin) • Z-Drugs: 5mg Sonata (Zaleplon) • Gabapentinoids: 300-3,600mg a day Neurontin (Gabapentin) • Antidepressant: 5-20mg qd Escitalopram (Lexapro), 30-60mg qd Duloxetine (Cymbalta DR), 12.5-50mg qd Trazodone (Desyrel), 150mg qd Bupropion (Wellbutrin XL), and 7.5mg qd Mirtazapine (Remeron) • Antipsychotics: 25-400mg qd + 25mg tid Quetiapine (Seroquel), 300mg qd Quetiapine ER (Seroquel ER) 5mg qd Olanzapine ODT (Zyprexa Zydus), 2.5-10mg a day Asenapine Maleate (Saphris) • Mood Stabilizers: 250-750mg a day Sodium Valproate DR (Depakote DR), 1,000mg qd Sodium Valproate ER (Depakote ER), 300mg did Lithium Carbonate ER (Lithobid) • Stimulants: 20-30mg qd Mixed Amphetamine Salts ER (Adderall XR), 7.5-15mg qd Mixed Amphetamine Salts IR (Adderall IR), 20-35mg a day Dextroamphetamine Sulfate SR (Dexedrine Spansules) • Medication Assisted Treatment: 25mg qd Naltrexone (Revia), 2-12mg a day Buprenorphine/Naloxone (Suboxone), 8.6/2.1mg qd Buprenorphine/Naloxone (Zubsolv) • Atypical Anxiolytics: 187-266mg a day Medical Marijuana, 50mg tid Hydroxyzine HCL (Atarax), 10-40mg qd Propranolol (Inderal), 5mg did Buspirone (Buspar), 50mcg qd Clonidine (Catapres) • Dissociative Anesthetics: 0.4-0.5mg/kg Intravenous Ketamine (Ketalar)
As well as these medications for anxiety-related ibs: Antiemetics: 4-12mg tid Ondansetron (Zofran), 2-4mg a day Lorazepam (Ativan), 4-8mg tid Ondansetron ODT (Zofran ODT), 25mg did Promethazine (Phenergan), 1mg did Granisetron (Kytril), and 300mg qd Trimethobenzamide (Tigan) Antacids: 1g did Sucralfate (Carafate), 40mg qd Omeprazole (Prilosec), and 40mg qd Famotidine (Pepcid) Gut Antispasmodics: 20mg did Dicyclomine (Bentyl), and 0.125mg did Hyoscyamine Sulfate (Levsin SL)
I’m currently on the following: 20mg Dexedrine Spansules q8am 15mg Dexedrine Spansules q12pm 8.6/2.1mg Zubsolv q3pm 50mcg Catapres qhs 40mg Famotidine qhs
I currently have these meds as prn: 0.125mg Levsin SL did 300mg Tigan
“Recreational” Drugs I Use: Caffeine Vaping Smoking (Cigarettes)
Drugs I Mainly Used When I Active Abused Drugs: (Three Months Sober Tomorrow • Fentanyl (Smoked) (Daily) • Meth (Smoked) (Daily) • Cocaine (Insufflated) (Daily) • Weed (Smoked/Vaped/Oral) (Daily) • Klonopin (Insufflated) (Daily) • Alcohol (Oral) (Daily) • Dilaudid(Insufflated) (Weekly) • Opana (Insufflated) (Weekly) • Phenobarbital (Oral/IN) (Weekly) • Propylhexedrine (PO) (Weekly) • MDMA (Snorted/Bombed) (Biweekly) • LSD (Sublingual) (Biweek/monthly)
Drugs I Used When I Started Using: • Soma (Oral) (Daily) • Flexeril (Oral) (Twice Weekly) • Hycodan (Oral) (Every Other Day) • Ultram (Oral) (Every Other Day) • Oxycodone (Oral) (Daily) • Meth (Insufflated/Smoked) (Weekly) • Vyvanse (Oral) (Weekly) • Ambien (Oral) (2-3x Weekly) • Weed (Vaped/Smoked/Oral) (Daily) • Alcohol (Oral) (Weekly) • Xanax (Oral/Ate) (Daily) • LSD (Sublingual) (Every 2 Months)

Age 23
Sex Nonbinary
Height 5'5"
Weight 120 lbs
Race White
Duration of complaint 1 month
Location Missouri, USA
Any existing relevant medical issues History of seizures, unspecified tachycardia, asthma, tendonosis, and hypothyroidism. Recent ACL reconstruction and joint tightening/ankle debridement.
Current Medications taken daily: Clonazepam 1mg 2x, Gabapentin 900mg 3x, Adderall 20mg 3x, Adderall XR 10mg, Soma 350mg PRN, Synthroid 50mcg, Zonisamide 100mg, Prazosin 2mg, Risperidone 1.5mg, Montelukast 10mg, Sonata 10mg, Lotrisone topical 3x, Symbacort 2 puffs 2x, Combivent PRN
I'm prone to seizures and take Clonazepam for anxiety. I finally had my first appointment with an epileptologist, but I am running out early due to having to use a few extra for seizures. I am not struggling with a substance use disorder, and I understand the risks of taking medications not directed by my doctor. I have refills available at another pharmacy, but my psychiatrist said during our first session that they'd be monitoring my prescription refills... I wanted to know if there's any way he could do this in Missouri or if so, if it was legal? Thanks for any help you can offer!

Hey Everyone!
Here’s some background information before I start the post.
I’ve used Medical Marijuana, 2-4mg Ativan, 0.25mg Xanax, 0.25-5mg Klonopin, 5mg Sonata, 5-20mg Lexapro, 30-60mg Cymbalta DR, 50mg Desyrel, 150mg Wellbutrin XL, 300mg Seroquel ER, 25-400mg Seroquel, 5mg Zyprexa Zydus, 2.5-5mg Saphris, 300-600mg Lithobid, 250-750mg Depakote DR, 1,000mg Depakote ER, 2-8mg Suboxone, 8.6/2.1mg Zubsolv, 25mg Revia, 600-3,600mg Neurontin, 10-40mg Inderal, 150mg Vistaril, 10-20mg Buspar and finally Adderall XR 20-30mg and Adderall 10mg
I currently take: 30mg Adderall XR QD 6AM 5mg Saphris QD 9PM 8.6mg Zubsolv QD 8AM
I’m diagnosed with: Substance Use Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Phobia, GAD, TRD, ADHD-2, C-PTSD, and Bipolar 1.
I’ve finally gotten to a good place with my addiction… I had 7 weeks sober after going to rehab, relapsed 3 weeks ago and haven’t even thought about using since. I was addicting to cocaine using around a ball a day, meth using around 1/2 a gram a day and fentanyl every 30-60 minutes. My ROA for Fet and Ice was smoking and my ROA for coke was insuff. I also mixed them with LSD, MDMA, Crack, Kpins, Pheno and some others occasionally but was using weed alcohol and dxm to keep my tolerance down daily.
Anyways time for my question. Sorry I got sidetracked I love thinking about my progress it makes me so happy :).
I’m wanting to switch off of Adderall XR and go on Vyvanse, Dexedrine Spansules or even say fuck it and switch to Focalin XR. Once my psychiatrist took off my instant release Adderall after I got out of rehab i’ve been a mess in the afternoon and my morning dose hardly works anymore either.
If anyone has experience with Vyvanse + Dexedrine Spansule booster, Dexedrine Spansule twice daily or Focalin XR 30-40mg QD or Focalin XR twice daily let me know how you like/liked it. I’d love to hear everyones opinions because switching right now is really worrying me and it’s been causing me to be really anxious. Also if any stimulant helped lift your depression would be useful too.
Thank you so much for reading and potentially commenting and helping me out y’all are the best. Take it one day at a time!!

So- first off my medication history just so y’all can get the picture.
Benzodiazepines: 0.25mg Xanax PRN, 2mg Ativan DID, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin Wafer DID PRN and Klonopin 1-5mg/d QD-QID Antidepressants: 50mg Trazodone, 5-20mg Lexapro, 30-60mg Cymbalta Antipsychotics: 5mg Zyprexa Zydus, 25mg Seroquel QD-TID, 300-400mg Seroquel, 300mg Seroquel ER Mood Stabilizers: 250mg Depakote DR DID-TID, 500-1000mg Depakote ER QD-DID, 300mg Lithobid ER QD, 300-1200mg Gabapentin DID-TID Stimulants: 20-30mg Adderall XR, 10-15mg Adderall Anxiolytics: Medical MJ, 50mg Vistaril TID, 10-40mg Inderal QD, 5mg Sonata QD, 5-10mg Buspar DID Anti-craving Medication: 25mg Naltrexone QD, 2-6mg Suboxone QD
So all of those were failed medication trials. Adderall worked for me but since i’m an addict they are tapering me off. In terms of bad reactions Naltrexone, Vistaril, Lithium, Depakote, Zyprexa, Cymbalta, Ativan, and Xanax were those. The rest really just did nothing for me. Suboxone, Adderall, Gabapentin, Seroquel, and Klonopin worked the best for me but I can’t take gabapentin on suboxone, and I can’t take Adderall and Klonopin due to my addictive past.
Speaking of that, I’m a month and a half clean and in terms of the drugs I used, these were the main ones:
Alcohol, Benzos, Ambien, Soma, Pheno, Opiates (Mostly fet most recently), Coke, Crack, Meth, Speed, MDMA, LSD, and Weed were most prevalent.
Now- the real problem. I need to find a non-stimulant adhd med that seems to work well, an anxiety medication that isn’t very addicting, and some thoughts on what y’all think of the bipolar med I’m thinking of starting.
Currently these are my medications: 400mg Seroquel 30mg Adderall XR 6/1.5mg Suboxone (Currently raising)
I’m having some auditory hallucinations, delusions, bad anxiety causing me to throw up, and adhd symptoms now that my adderall booster is completely tapered in the afternoon.
I’m thinking of cross tapering off Seroquel and onto Saphris for the hallucinations. For a mood stabilizer i’m thinking of Trileptal or Topamax. Just need some feedback.
For the ADHD a tricyclic like desipramine or nortriptyline might be good for that purpose. Or bupropion. I don’t really know that’s why I need an opinion. Provigil, Amp or Mph aren’t an option due to my addiction history.
And for anxiety i’m really kinda clueless on what I should try. Maybe a TCA, or an MAOI. If anyone has any experience with Memantine, Tianeptine, Tiagabine, Baclofen, Tizanidine, or Vigabatrin i’d be grateful.
Anyways any feedback on this topic concerning meds you’ve tried and have helped would be amazing. Thank you for reading if you did!

So, I am really hoping this post doesn't receive a lot of judgement and negativity. I am already depressed and struggling enough, I definitely don't need to be put down, please.
I am wanting to call my psych nurse today to ask for a new sleep med because I am really, really struggling to relax and fall asleep at night. I will go days without sleep, which increases my depression, anxiety, OCD symptoms, and prevents me from functioning (work, socializing, cleaning, etc.).
My current med list as follows:
Lithium XR 600mg xPM Setraline 75mg xAM Adderall IR 20mg xAM (around 5am) Clonidine .3mg xPM Trazodone 100mg xPM Gabapentin 600mg xPM Ambien CR 12.5 xPM (discontinuing, it doesn't work)
I have also been on Lunesta, Belsomra, Sonata, Hydroxyzine, Thorazine, Seroquel, Risperidone, Klonopin, Valium, Xanax (will NOT go back on Benzo's, almost died from a CT withdrawal), Mirtazapine, Lyrica, along with a handful of natural supplements (Kava, Valerian Root, California Poppy, etc).
I was thinking about asking him if I could try a muscle relaxer, as I've read that they can help with anxiety and insomnia. Has anyone had positive results using Baclofen or something along those lines for sleep issues? If so, which one worked and in what way? I would also like to hear if anyone tried them for sleep, but had negative results.
I am desperate to get my sleep back. I really just need something short term, because I truly think once I am well rested, I will be able to think clearly about my next steps and truly focus on my therapy and exercise.

TLDR :
- Paulides ignored the obvious DRUG connection on some cases documented in missing 411 books
- Drugs can explain all those so called paranormal stuff
++++++++++++++
We know there's casual attitute toward recreational drug use among american citizen , some of missing 411 cases show paranoia , hallucination , paranoia , impaired judgement and many more. While not every m411 cases can be explained with Drug Abuse , there's some cases that can be categorized as such.
Missing 411 cases should be looked at from medical point of view , we dont need to dwell on non-existent explanations like sasquatch , portal , aliens , UFO , elves / faerie , feral males and other pseudoscience based / cryptozoology creatures. Why look into fictional creatures when we have mastered modern medical science/drugs ?

• some people also said they are followed by something (paranoia) and have unexplainable fear of something in the woods
• some got scared just because the woods go silent as if it is something out of this world (which it is not)
• some said they saw sasquatch , monsters , bear-wolf-dog-man in the woods , all of which product of hallucination because these do not exist in real world.
• Some have issues with mental problem and their medication might be the clue why they experienced paranoia/hallucination

We saw plenty of 'Fictional/scary' stories in this Subreddit , most try-hard create their story based on same pattern : Sudden Silence , Feeling Fear , Shadows chasing them and so on and so on. It is beyond obvious these 'imaginative' people copied the pattern from other people's /nosleep /creepypasta. That some of these stories were rejected by /highstrangeness showed the quality of these stories.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/drug-addiction/symptoms-causes/syc-20365112
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/prescription-drug-abuse.html
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Recognizing signs of drug use or intoxication

Signs and symptoms of drug use or intoxication may vary, depending on the type of drug. Below you'll find several examples.

Marijuana, hashish and other cannabis-containing substances

People use cannabis by smoking, eating or inhaling a vaporized form of the drug. Cannabis often precedes or is used along with other substances, such as alcohol or illegal drugs, and is often the first drug tried.
Signs and symptoms of recent use can include:

• A sense of euphoria or feeling "high"
• A heightened sense of visual, auditory and taste perception
• Increased blood pressure and heart rate
• Red eyes
• Dry mouth
• Decreased coordination
• Difficulty concentrating or remembering
• Slowed reaction time
• Anxiety or paranoid thinking
• Cannabis odor on clothes or yellow fingertips
• Exaggerated cravings for certain foods at unusual times

Long-term (chronic) use is often associated with:

• Decreased mental sharpness
• Poor performance at school or at work
• Reduced number of friends and interests

K2, Spice and bath salts

Two groups of synthetic drugs — synthetic cannabinoids and substituted or synthetic cathinones — are illegal in most states. The effects of these drugs can be dangerous and unpredictable, as there is no quality control and some ingredients may not be known.
Synthetic cannabinoids, also called K2 or Spice, are sprayed on dried herbs and then smoked, but can be prepared as an herbal tea. Despite manufacturer claims, these are chemical compounds rather than "natural" or harmless products. These drugs can produce a "high" similar to marijuana and have become a popular but dangerous alternative.
Signs and symptoms of recent use can include:

• A sense of euphoria or feeling "high"
• Elevated mood
• An altered sense of visual, auditory and taste perception
• Extreme anxiety or agitation
• Paranoia
• Hallucinations
• Increased heart rate and blood pressure or heart attack
• Vomiting
• Confusion

Substituted cathinones, also called "bath salts," are mind-altering (psychoactive) substances similar to amphetamines such as ecstasy (MDMA) and cocaine. Packages are often labeled as other products to avoid detection.
Despite the name, these are not bath products such as Epsom salts. Substituted cathinones can be eaten, snorted, inhaled or injected and are highly addictive. These drugs can cause severe intoxication, which results in dangerous health effects or even death.
Signs and symptoms of recent use can include:

• Euphoria
• Increased sociability
• Increased energy and agitation
• Increased sex drive
• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Problems thinking clearly
• Loss of muscle control
• Paranoia
• Panic attacks
• Hallucinations
• Delirium
• Psychotic and violent behavior

Barbiturates, benzodiazepines and hypnotics

Barbiturates, benzodiazepines and hypnotics are prescription central nervous system depressants. They're often used and misused in search for a sense of relaxation or a desire to "switch off" or forget stress-related thoughts or feelings.

• Barbiturates. Examples include phenobarbital and secobarbital (Seconal).
• Benzodiazepines. Examples include sedatives, such as diazepam (Valium), alprazolam (Xanax), lorazepam (Ativan), clonazepam (Klonopin) and chlordiazepoxide (Librium).
• Hypnotics. Examples include prescription sleeping medications such as zolpidem (Ambien, Intermezzo, others) and zaleplon (Sonata).

Signs and symptoms of recent use can include:

• Drowsiness
• Slurred speech
• Lack of coordination
• Irritability or changes in mood
• Problems concentrating or thinking clearly
• Memory problems
• Involuntary eye movements
• Lack of inhibition
• Slowed breathing and reduced blood pressure
• Falls or accidents
• Dizziness

Meth, cocaine and other stimulants

Stimulants include amphetamines, meth (methamphetamine), cocaine, methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta, others) and amphetamine-dextroamphetamine (Adderall, Adderall XR, others). They are often used and misused in search of a "high," or to boost energy, to improve performance at work or school, or to lose weight or control appetite.
Signs and symptoms of recent use can include:

• Feeling of exhilaration and excess confidence
• Increased alertness
• Increased energy and restlessness
• Behavior changes or aggression
• Rapid or rambling speech
• Dilated pupils
• Confusion, delusions and hallucinations
• Irritability, anxiety or paranoia
• Changes in heart rate, blood pressure and body temperature
• Nausea or vomiting with weight loss
• Impaired judgment
• Nasal congestion and damage to the mucous membrane of the nose (if snorting drugs)
• Mouth sores, gum disease and tooth decay from smoking drugs ("meth mouth")
• Insomnia
• Depression as the drug wears off

Club drugs

Club drugs are commonly used at clubs, concerts and parties. Examples include ecstasy or molly (MDMA), gamma-hydroxybutyric acid (GHB), flunitrazepam (Rohypnol ― a brand used outside the U.S. ― also called roofie) and ketamine. These drugs are not all in the same category, but they share some similar effects and dangers, including long-term harmful effects.
Because GHB and flunitrazepam can cause sedation, muscle relaxation, confusion and memory loss, the potential for sexual misconduct or sexual assault is associated with the use of these drugs.
Signs and symptoms of use of club drugs can include:

• Hallucinations
• Paranoia
• Dilated pupils
• Chills and sweating
• Involuntary shaking (tremors)
• Behavior changes
• Muscle cramping and teeth clenching
• Muscle relaxation, poor coordination or problems moving
• Reduced inhibitions
• Heightened or altered sense of sight, sound and taste
• Poor judgment
• Memory problems or loss of memory
• Reduced consciousness
• Increased or decreased heart rate and blood pressure

Hallucinogens

Use of hallucinogens can produce different signs and symptoms, depending on the drug. The most common hallucinogens are lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) and phencyclidine (PCP).
LSD use may cause:

• Hallucinations
• Greatly reduced perception of reality, for example, interpreting input from one of your senses as another, such as hearing colors
• Impulsive behavior
• Rapid shifts in emotions
• Permanent mental changes in perception
• Rapid heart rate and high blood pressure
• Tremors
• Flashbacks, a re-experience of the hallucinations — even years later

PCP use may cause:

• A feeling of being separated from your body and surroundings
• Hallucinations
• Problems with coordination and movement
• Aggressive, possibly violent behavior
• Involuntary eye movements
• Lack of pain sensation
• Increase in blood pressure and heart rate
• Problems with thinking and memory
• Problems speaking
• Impaired judgment
• Intolerance to loud noise
• Sometimes seizures or coma

Inhalants

Signs and symptoms of inhalant use vary, depending on the substance. Some commonly inhaled substances include glue, paint thinners, correction fluid, felt tip marker fluid, gasoline, cleaning fluids and household aerosol products. Due to the toxic nature of these substances, users may develop brain damage or sudden death.
Signs and symptoms of use can include:

• Possessing an inhalant substance without a reasonable explanation
• Brief euphoria or intoxication
• Decreased inhibition
• Combativeness or belligerence
• Dizziness
• Nausea or vomiting
• Involuntary eye movements
• Appearing intoxicated with slurred speech, slow movements and poor coordination
• Irregular heartbeats
• Tremors
• Lingering odor of inhalant material
• Rash around the nose and mouth

Opioid painkillers

Opioids are narcotic, painkilling drugs produced from opium or made synthetically. This class of drugs includes, among others, heroin, morphine, codeine, methadone and oxycodone.
Sometimes called the "opioid epidemic," addiction to opioid prescription pain medications has reached an alarming rate across the United States. Some people who've been using opioids over a long period of time may need physician-prescribed temporary or long-term drug substitution during treatment.
Signs and symptoms of narcotic use and dependence can include:

• Reduced sense of pain
• Agitation, drowsiness or sedation
• Slurred speech
• Problems with attention and memory
• Constricted pupils
• Lack of awareness or inattention to surrounding people and things
• Problems with coordination
• Depression
• Confusion
• Constipation
• Runny nose or nose sores (if snorting drugs)
• Needle marks (if injecting drugs)

I’m having this issue of feeling super groggy the next day after taking lunesta 3mg. It’s so much worse than a hangover at least for me though to be frank i almost never get hangovers ive had maybe 5 in my life. But it’s so hard to focus, and I feel shitty, and have trouble focusing. A lot of caffine barely does anything.
It’s so frustrating bc the grogginess is so awful but the ability to sleep by around 2 am instead of 4-6 am and the pain relief I get at night is so helpful it fucking sucks. It also makes me extra anxious the next day bc I feel like such shit but helps make me less anxious at night. Smh
Theoretically I could ask for a stimulant medication like adipex or adderall but that would be yet another medication and more importantly a controlled substance which id rather not as another one. I see my psychiatrist December 24th. Maybe 2mg would be better.
This is what I was thinking: before my appointment cut them in half so 1.5mg lunesta and see, at my appointment maybe 10mg ambien would work better since it has a short half life and as a bigger male 5mg isnt a typical dose. Otherwise idk.
Other sleeping medications I tried that don’t work: mirtazipine, dayvigo, Seroquel, trazodone, muscle relaxers for pain that can be sedating like tizanidine, sonata, and ambien 5mg (never tried 10mg)

Age: 24
Sex: M
Height: 5’8”
Weight: 147 lbs
Race: Caucasian
Onset: Difficultly with depression, ADHD, and anxiety since eight years old.
Characteristics: constant low mood, difficulty concentrating, feelings of apathy, fatigue, low self-esteem, low motivation, lack of sex drive, and insomnia.
Psychiatric and medical diagnosis: organic insomnia, generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD with primarily inattentive features, persistent depressive disorder with intermittent major depressive episodes, restless leg syndrome, when younger diagnosed with OCD but has been ruled out, chronic migraines, and gynecomastia.
Social history: Long history of physical abuse, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse acquired from childhood trauma. Parents divorced at a young age, and my mother became an alcoholic and drank herself to death.
Current medications: Wellbutrin XR 300mg 1x daily (2 months), Viibryd 40mg 1x daily (4 months), Adderall XR 20mg 1x daily (2 months), Temazepam 15mg 1x at night (5 months), Ajvoy 1x injection monthly for headache prevention (5 months), Nurtec 75mg (1 month) as needed for abortive headache medication.
Past medications: Celexa, Lexapro, Amitriptyline, Wellbutrin SR, Paxil, Prozac, Brintellix, Triazolam, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Risperdal, Latuda, Clonidine, Strattera, Ritalin, Concerta, Vyvanse, and Lamotrigine. I have also had a significant amount of psychotherapy, but it resulted in no improvements.
Out of all these medications, only the Risperdal was slightly effective for my depression, but it caused significant side effects in a short amount of time. I experienced rapid weight gain and developed gynecomastia from this medication. I have yet to find an effective medicine to manage my ADHD that doesn’t cause intolerable side effects.
Past sleep medications: Temazepam, Clonazepam, Lunesta, Ambien, Sonata, Belsomra. Out of these, only Temazepam has been useful.
Recreational drugs: None. I have no history of smoking or alcohol drinking.
Relieving factors: None.
Family history: History of depression on both sides of the family, with a few suicides on my mother’s side of the family.
-Mother: diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, migraines, and substance abuse disorder
-Brother: Antisocial personality disorder, substance abuse disorder, and oppositional defiance disorder.
-Sister: Bipolar disorder and migraines
-Father: No psychiatric history but has a history of leukemia.
Final Note: Unsure what to do next as my current medication is not helping, and all my previous medications I have tried I either had no response to or intolerance side effects. I find weight gain and sexual dysfunction intolerable, eliminating the vast majority of psychiatric medications. I do not view ECT as an option.
Any idea for further treatment would be much appreciated as I've tried many different treatments with no success.

Found this sub through a search but can't really find anything related to what I'm looking for. I know I could post in ask docs, but I feel like I'm not going to get a response there. Of course I am not looking for a medical diagnosis, just some advice on what steps I should take (I apologize if this is long).
Background: 29F, history of PCOS, insulin resistance, hashimoto's, overweight, and I do take a few medications (Lamictal, Levothyroxine, Buspar [currently tapering off], Ativan [as needed], Vyvanse, Sonata, Metformin [recently stopped taking due to the recall], Kelnor 1/35)
This started around my last period (10/13-10/17) and has not gone away. Around the second day I noticed a slight ache/throb near my left ovary, as well as pelvic pressure, frequent urination, burning with urinating, etc. Finally last Thursday (my pelvic pain wasn't going away) I did a teledoc appointment, and the doctor prescribed me Macrobid for a suspected UTI. After a few hours of taking it I did notice a difference - pelvic pain went away, I was slowly beginning to urinate normal without much frequency, and actually the pain on my left side went away. I was fine really up until Saturday afternoon, when the frequent urination started again.
On Friday I did start taking Vyvanse (40mg) again for ADD; I used to take Adderall and it did cause occasional frequent urination but eventually went away. I took Vyvanse about a year ago (30mg) and honestly cannot remember having frequent urination with it. This morning I am having the frequent urination again, along with my left ovary beginning to throb. If anything it's more of an annoyance, not severe or anything like that. I am honestly wondering if it might be an ovarian cyst, if I need another antibiotic for a UTI, an issue with my blood sugar, etc.
This is where I'm asking for advice - I do have an appointment scheduled with my endocrinologist for 11/22 (she also specializes in and has been treating my PCOS), but I don't know if I should move the appointment and try to go sooner, along with requesting an ovarian ultrasound (my last one was a few years ago, in my early 20s). I also have an appointment with a gynecologist, but the earliest appointment I could schedule is for 12/9 (had to find a new one because mine is at a new practice over 2 hours away).
Like said - I am not looking for a diagnosis by any means. If anything, I am just looking to see if someone else has experience with this, and advice on what doctor I should go and see. If anyone can help, it would be appreciated.

Age/Sex: 29F
Height/Weight: 5'4; probably 220 lbs.
Race: White
Existing Medical Issues: Hashimoto's; PCOS/insulin resistance; Bipolar Disorder; ADHD; Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Medications:

1. Levothyroxine - 125mcg, 1x day
2. Lamictal - 200mg, 1x day
3. Buspar - 30mg, 2x day
4. Metformin - 500mg, 2x day (just started again last Wednesday after being off for 4-5 months)
5. Ativan - 0.5mg, taken as needed (usually no more than once or twice per week)
6. Adderall XR - 20mg, 1x day (only Mon-Fri, no weekends, and I also take the brand)
7. Zaleplon (Sonata) - 10mg, as needed at night for insomnia (started last Wednesday, have only taken it 3 times since the prescription has been filled)

Drink/Smoke/Drugs: 1st cigarette in probably one year as last week (only one); had about 5-6 drinks last week (most in a long time); last pot edible was about 2 months ago
I'm sorry if this is long, but I want to give as much information as possible. From Tuesday-Friday last week, I was vacationing in Cape May, NJ, and was pretty much outside for a majority of the time. It was hot/humid as hell, and some of the nights there were more mosquitos (as far as I know) out than others. This is where my complaint comes in, and where I am confused, because I really have not been feeling right since Monday night). Between Friday and Saturday night, I got pretty bit up (both feet are covered in bites, back of my right shoulder, right leg, as well as some on my right/left arms). I know it's bad, but I keep scratching them, so I don't know if that's causing a problem or making them infected.
Monday night I started experiencing some stomach discomfort/slight diarrhea, and because I was so itchy and uncomfortable, I took (this is where I'm an idiot) 50mg of Benadryl, and also used the Benadryl Extra Strength anti-itch gel, only realizing after the fact that both shouldn't be used at the same time. I woke up around 2am just in general feeling strange, as if I were high and very uncomfortable. I fell back asleep and woke up around 8:30am, feeling very cold and drowsy, had a raw sore throat, stuffed nose, slight headache/stiff neck and fatigue. Took my temperature and it was 98.8, about 2 hours later it was 99.1, and went back down to 98.1 after I took an Advil cold pill. Last night before bed I still had the stomach discomfort, took some Mylanta, which I don't think helped because I wounded up with watery diarrhea. This morning I woke up feeling a little bit better, but still have a slight sore throat and body temperature has been off (feeling hot/cold but no fever).
So, this is my concern/complaint: could my bites possibly be infected, or, could this potentially be the start of Coronavirus? (yes, I know I cannot be diagnosed over the interwebz, but if the symptoms aren't close to it, I really don't see the point in getting tested). While out last week I followed all the proper precautions (mask wearing, social distancing, hand washing, etc.), and I will admit that I do have anxiety, which is most likely only making my symptoms worse (if you tell me my anxiety is acting up, I promise I will not get offended like some people seem to, if anything it'll ease my mind). My mom thinks I should go to a minute clinic for the bug bites, which again, I don't see the point because I know bites cannot necessarily be diagnosed/hard to tell which bug bit. I am including pics of the bites on my feet because again, if anyone can offer some insight, it would be appreciated.
I know, the pics suck, but it's the best I could do: Bites on Monday; Bites today; Bites on arms/legs
If you take the time to read this/respond, I truly appreciate it.

NoSleep. Ironically, I am posting this to NoSleep. You are here to read stories so scary that they will keep you up all night, I am here because I can’t go to sleep. I haven’t slept in 3 days, and I can’t even remember the last time I got real sleep. The kind where you go to sleep and stay asleep. The kind where you naturally drift off to a relaxing sleep and not your body forcibly shutting itself down against its own will. So I am sorry if I ramble some, but I can’t help but laugh at the irony of this being on no sleep. Is that funny to you too, or just to me because I am too tired to be rational?
Every teenager thinks they have insomnia because they stayed up too long playing video games 2 nights in a row and fell asleep in class, then they sleep for 15 hours straight on the weekend. I was like that once. Life must be tough with that sort of insomnia.
I have real insomnia. The kind where people think you are insane, and to be honest, they aren’t wrong. I have had it since I was in college, but it has only gotten worse and worse. I can't even remember the last time I slept. Wait? I told you that already.
I’ve been to a sleep specialist. I’ve been on every sleeping pill you can think of. Melatonin, no caffeine, no naps, Ambien, Sonata, Lunesta, silenor, antidepressants, Seroquel, Ativan, benzos, you name it, I have taken more than they recommended. Still no relief or sleep.
I know, you are not reading this to read the ramblings of a madman who hasn’t slept in days. You are here because you want a scary story. I’ve got one for you. I think it is real. To be honest, when you haven’t had a real night's sleep in months, dreams and reality start to become one big blur. The truth is, when you are as desperate for sleep as I am, you will do almost anything to get even 1 night of real sleep, no matter how crazy it is.
The story starts about 6 months ago, maybe? It was still winter and the virus was not a big deal yet. I remember that much for sure.
At this time, my insomnia was at the worst it had been in a few years. I remember I had been up for 4 days straight. When you hit this point, you become jittery. You know when someone has had too much caffeine and they sort of shake uncontrollably. Eventually, lack of sleep does the same thing, my whole body feels like it is trembling, my teeth feel like they are chattering even though they are resting as normal, my hands can’t even hold my phone still.
Then there is your mind. You get Brain Fog. At first, it feels like you have been driving on the interstate for 10 hours and can't see or think straight, then you get a second burst of energy and feel great. Most people crash at this point. If you stay up, things that don’t make sense start to make sense. Last is paranoia and anxiety. Every shadow has something lurking in it, ready to jump out and take you. TV or Radio starts to talk to you. You go on Reddit but every story is the same, like god playing a trick on you. You get anxious, praying for sleep, knowing the anxiety is keeping you up even longer. You start to ramble like I am doing again right now.
Okay. I am gathering myself now.
I had been up for days when a commercial came on for an over the phone psychic reading. If a doctor couldn’t help, maybe a spiritual advisor could. No, I didn’t need a psychic, what I needed was a hypnotist. You have seen them before, they can just snap their fingers and you fall asleep instantly! This is the answer to all of my prayers.
It was a scam. They had me lay down and close my eyes, then they softly started talking while I tuned out. When I woke up, she said when I go to sleep at night to relax and listen to a youtube channel that softly plays music and tells you to relax. It didn’t work at all except that every time I listen to soft background music I get the strong urge to make a grilled cheese sandwich, which is weird because I had not had one since I was maybe 9. I think she just hypnotized me to crave grilled cheese. She probably invests in the Big Cheese Industry and makes money by making people crave grilled cheese. What a waste of money.
So much for that idea. The next night I still couldn’t sleep. I decided to watch my feel-good movie: Back to the Future. During the movie, Marty goes back in time to 1955 and there is a part where a song comes on, you hear the unmistakable BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM! MR. SANDMAN! BRING ME A DREAM! (That song will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I’m not sorry.)
When I heard the song, I started to boil over in rage. Maybe it was from the lack of sleep, or maybe I am just insane, but I picked up the remote and threw it into the LED screen breaking the tv. I screamed, “THAT IS THE MOTHER FUCKER WHO HAS CURSED ME! THE FUCKING SANDMAN! I AM GOING TO FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!”
This went on for longer than I am willing to admit, but you get the point. The Sandman was my enemy. The one who is supposed to deliver us into sleep every night had decided to stop visiting me. What had I ever done to him to make him skip me every night not allowing me to sleep? The Sandman was to blame.
The Sandman was going to have to answer for these wrongs. I was determined to find a way to confront him and give him a piece of my mind. I just had to figure out how the hell you could find or trap it. At this point, I don't care if The Sandman is God himself, I was going to find him..
I thought about it for a while and decided based on movies and books, the way to call a god to you is to summon it. Sounds simple enough, Let’s do it.
Another long story short, putting candles in a circle and yelling I SUMMON YOU SANDMAN! Doesn’t work.
Again, I was back on the internet looking for someone to help me. After talking to someone I was given the email of an African Witch Doctor named Mrs. Fatima. I emailed her and she agreed to help me if I send her bitcoin. She even offered to come out for more money, but screw that, I can do it myself. Why the hell does everything have to be so difficult? Can’t people just take a credit card like the rest of the world? Always extra steps for some weird-ass digital currency crap.
Screw it, I am willing to try anything at this point. I sent her the bitcoin. Whatever the hell that is. It is expensive, I can tell you that much.
After she got the money, she replied to my email with detailed instructions and a warning. She could help me summon The Sandman, but advised against it. Summoning a dead person is dangerous, summoning a demon is disastrous, summing a God is deadly. I thought about it for less than a moment and decided to do it. What is the worst that can happen? I die and am in an endless uninterrupted sleep for eternity? Sounds like heaven to me.
Under her instructions, I waited until 2 am the following night. You can do it anytime, but the barrier between the spirit realm and the mortal world is the thinnest in the early morning hours when people are sleeping. She advised to go somewhere secluded like in the middle of the woods since it would be desolated and more likely to work. I am doing it in my bedroom, it gets the same amount of girls in it as a desolated forest. Lucky for me, I also need the blood of a virgin, so I got that covered too! Just joking, I don’t need blood.
The first thing I needed to do was draw a large circle in chalk. The circle had to be complete and above all else, not broken. The circle is the doorway between realms, if it was not complete it would not work. It also acts as an invisible wall to keep the spirit contained once you summon it. Keep the circle complete at all times. I drew a circle on my hardwood floor. Easy.
The next step was to light 5 red candles drawing a pentagram star. They have to be red because the devil is red and we are practicing devil magic, that’s my explanation, not hers.
Inside the circle, I was to fill it with sand. If you are summoning The Sandman, you need sand?
That was all I needed. Some chalk, candles, a secluded spot, and sand. I was closer than I thought earlier.
Next, the hard part, summoning a god.
The first step is to clear your mind and meditate. Most people have a hard time with this, but I have been meditating for years. They said it would help me sleep, it doesn’t. Don’t waste your time.
The next step is to concentrate on the circle, opening the pathway in your mind. Like imagining it disappearing or opening it like a door?
When your mind is clear, envision the one you are summoning. Do I just imagine what I think he looks like in my head? It’ll have to work.
When you feel the energy start to peak, only then can you summon the spirit into the realm. Call out to the spirit you desire and demand it’s presence. Do not ask. Demand it. This is your world and you must stay in control at all times. If you give up control, the spirit will be able to take control and possibly hurt or kill you.
If you do everything right, you will have summoned the spirit.
Let’s do this. I have a bone to pick with that asshole Sandman.
The circle is drawn, the candles are lit, and sand is in the circle. I turned off the lights for good measure, it wasn’t in the instructions, but it makes for a better dramatic effect.
I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I imagined the circle in my mind as an empty white space, a void, a door, then I imagined a portal like in the video game with a blue glowing loop.
Next, I imagined The Sandman. Was he a human figure who carried sand, or a God made of sand? I kept trying back and forth, and everything in between before I finally settled on a spirit outlined in the sand.
I held my concentration on The Sandman and the opening of the portal. It felt like nothing was happening when suddenly everything changed. My eyes were shut but I could feel the energy start to build in the room. It felt like a strong storm was blowing on the outside of the house. I couldn’t physically feel the force, but I could feel the pressure growing and growing. Finally, I felt the energy reach its crescendo like something was trying to push itself through the circle into my room.
It’s time to open the gate.
“I OPEN THE PATHWAY AND DEMAND YOUR PRESENCE SANDMAN! THE DOOR IS OPEN AND I ORDER YOU TO APPEAR BEFORE ME!
I felt resistance trying to pull energy back from the door, not wanting to obey.
“SANDMAN! APPEAR BEFORE ME NOW!”
The energy in the room seemed to explode out of the circle. I opened my eyes to see the sand turning in a tornado inside the circle high above my head. I gasped in shock, wondering if I was dreaming. This couldn’t be real. Suddenly the tornado dissolved and the sand formed into a figure with red eyes staring down at me.
“WHAT MORTAL DARES TO SUMMON ME!” He roared. “WHO HAS MADE SUCH THE MISTAKE TO SUMMON A GOD!”
I may have made a mistake. The thing is, spirits and especially Gods, do not like it when mortals summon them. They have to come if you summon them, and that pisses them off. They are over there doing ghost and god stuff and get interrupted by people who can’t even walk through a wall. So if you do ever try this, just expect the ghost or demon or god to be in a pissy mood when they come. It is understandable when you think about it.
I looked up at the god, not backing down, and responded “I did.”
Sand swirled around The Sandman as he looked at me in disbelief.
“You are The Sandman, right?” I yelled at him. “You are the god of sleep, the god of dreams, right?”
“I am,” it growled.
“Then why the fuck can I not sleep?” I said. “It has been years and I am stuck awake for days at a time. Why have you done this to me?”
A deep laugh came from the circle. “You think I care about you, mortal? Do you think I waste my time on someone as insignificant as you or your kind? I am a god. A GOD! I don’t have time to waste being here talking to you. Release me!”
“I am not going to release you until you give me what I want.”
The sand settled down and it was quiet. I waited for it to respond.
“You want something from a God? What do I get out of the deal? What do you have that I could possibly want?”
“Give you something?” I asked. “You are the asshole who won’t let me sleep.”
“I am feeling generous. We can make a deal,” it said. “I will give you the ability to sleep anytime you want”
“What is the catch?”
“Ahhh! The catch. Smarter than you look.” He said. “I am the God of Sleep and Dreams. You can sleep, but I will control your dreams.”
”Can’t you do that anyway?” You are the God of Dreams”
“Do we have a deal or no? Answer me before I change my mind.”
Damn it. I know he is playing me as a fool. Fuck it, I’ll solve my sleep problem now and worry about the catch later.
“We have a deal, Sandman.”
“A deal it is” he laughed. “Anytime you wish to sleep just say Mr. Sandman, Give me a dream.’ And you will be asleep in less than a minute.”
“You gotta be kidding me.”
“My game. My rules.” He said. “Now release me.”
“You are released.”
“See you in your dreams!”
The energy that had filled the room evaporated into thin air, the sand fell back into the circle, the candles went dark, and The Sandman was gone.
Was that real or am I hallucinating again? And damn! What even happened there? I was ready to cuss him out and he somehow took control of the encounter. Shit! Mrs. Fatima warned me it could be deadly if he took control. Then again, he made a deal and I can finally sleep.
What is done is done. I blew out the candles and decided to put our deal to the test. He will allow me to sleep anytime I want, real sleep, he will just be controlling my dreams. I’ve had nightmares, what happens in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there. Right?
It was 4:15 am. I turned off the lights, turned the fan on high, and put on some calming music and prepared to lay in bed awake for hours on end. I said the magic words As soon as I closed my eyes, I was out like a rock.
The dream started. I was back five minutes earlier saying “What happened in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there, right?” There was an echo repeating the same phrase back to me. That isn’t a good start.
I laid down in bed, just like before and closed my eyes trying to sleep but this time no sleep came, like always. I sat there for hours trying to sleep. I meditated, listened to calm music making me crave grilled cheese, and tried to will myself to sleep. My dream self was exhausted and on the verge of tears from being unable to sleep.
The Sandman’s idea of a joke is to give me insomnia in my dreams so I couldn’t escape it. Funny joke, but as long as I wake up refreshed I don’t care.
I looked at the clock and it was 7:45 and the sun was up or would be if I didn’t have the windows blacked out. Too exhausted to get up I laid in bed and prayed for sleep.
A moment later, the red candles flickered to life in a star pattern, the room went cold, then the sand started to swirl up into the air. The Sandman appeared in the circle.
My body stiffened, I couldn’t move a muscle, not even to close my eyes. Is this what sleep paralysis feels like? I thought back to my email with Mrs. Fatima and remembered as long as the circle was complete he would be stuck inside.
“That is only true when you’re awake. You’re in my world now,” he laughed as he floated across the circle to my bedside. “You brought me to your world, now I have you in mine. A deal is a deal.”
Ah shit. I knew taking his deal was a bad idea. Never negotiate with a god. You will never come out ahead. I tried to answer him but I was still paralyzed.
“Do you know the legend of The Sandman? The original story? The real story?” He stood over me.
Everyone knows the legend. He comes at night, sprinkles sand in your eyes so you will sleep well and have good dreams. You wake up with sand in your eyelashes.
“Wrong!” He yelled. “That is a story told much later after I left the mortal world to stop people from fearing me. You are about to find out the real legend of The Sandman.
I laid in bed unable to move, my eyes held open by some imaginary force, staring at him in fear.
He held out his hand in front of my face and blew. I felt the wind on my face followed by the sand. The awful awful sand. Unable to close my eyes the sand blanketed my eyes. I could feel every grain of sand stick to my eyes.
Finally, I had control of my eyes again and started to blink uncontrollably. Each blink the sand grinded deeper and deeper into my eyeballs and eye socket. Each blink felt like shards of glass cutting my eyes. My eyes became watery and started to tear up but it wasn’t tears but blood leaking down my face. The pain engulfed my face but I couldn’t move, only involuntary blinking trying to clear the sand from my eyes. Each blink the sand cut farther and farther into my eyes. The pain became excruciating like someone had stuck a red hot fire poker in each eye. I wanted to scream out but nothing else worked on my body. Then the pain disappeared.
I assumed I had blacked out or went unconscious but that doesn’t happen in dreams and I wasn’t that lucky. Instead, I felt a weird sensation on my eyeballs then the feeling of water being poured into my eye. When it stopped, my vision started to appear again, blurry at first but clearing. I could see a sandy palm and fingers like I was being carried in The Sandman’s hand.
“The legend of The Sandman isn’t that he comes to put sand in your eyes to help you sleep, he comes to put sand in your eyes to steal eyeballs of kids who stay up too late.” He said. “I’m making an exception for you.”
He opened his palm and I could see my lifeless body, still in bed, not moving, the face covered in blood with empty holes as eye sockets. I am seeing myself from my own eyeballs. What the fuck, even for a dream this is fucked up. Luckily the pain had stopped, for now.
“Do you know what happens next in the legend? Do you know what I do with the eyeballs I steal” He asked like I could to respond. I didn’t know the answer but I knew I was about to find out.
“Right you are. Close your eyes, It’’s a surprise.” He laughed. “Get it? You can’t! You have no eyelids. Hahaha”
Excuse me for not thinking the joke is funny, being the butt of the joke.
“He pointed my eyes toward the moon and asked, “Do you like The Dark Side of the Moon?”
What the hell does the Pink Floyd album have to do with anything? Who doesn’t like it?
“Great. Let’s take a trip there. You’re dreaming so we can be there in, what would you say, a blink of an eye?”
Fucking funny. A moment later, we were on the dark side of the moon. It looked like the moon, but dark. He walked into a crater and I started to hear cries. Not like human cries, more like an animal cry. Not just one animal but a bunch. The cries got louder and louder. Even in a dream, I knew something bad was about to happen.
We finally arrived at what I would call a nest. Not your typical earth nest, but an enclosure that held a bunch of giant ugly bird-like featherless babies. Not dinosaur big, but big enough. Each bird-like creature was lifting its beak up in the air crying for its parents to bring it back food. What the fuck kind of food was available on the moon or in space is beyond my understanding, but that’s exactly what my eyes were seeing.
“After I steal the eyeballs, I bring them back here and feed them to the birds. In your world, you may throw bread out to the birds for a treat. In my world, I feed them your eyes.”
Fuck. Can I wake up now? I really don’t feel like being eaten by a giant alien baby bird thing.
“The legend says I fed them to my children, but that is the part they got wrong.” He said. “Sweet dreams, prince.”
He tossed my eyes into the air into the waiting mouth of one of these creatures. I saw it’s beak close as my eyeballs exploded into a gooey mess.
The dream ended and I woke up in a panic. I tried to open my eyes but they were sealed shut. I lifted my hands, happy I could move again, and felt my eyelids crusted over with sand. I cleared them the best I could but needed a warm compress to clean all the salt out. When I finally opened my eyes, they hurt. Everything had happened in the dream, but somehow my eyes felt sore.
I thought back to what I said and heard in my dream, “It is just a dream, nothing can hurt me there.” It is true, I wasn’t really hurt, but I’ve never woken up feeling pain I got from a dream. What is going on?
Still, If I dreamed, that means I slept! A nightmare isn’t so bad if I get real sleep. The dream felt like it lasted hours, a few more nights of this and I will have a somewhat normal sleep schedule and feel rested. I looked at the clock to see it was 4:30. I slept 12 hours and 15 minutes. Amazing!
I opened the door to my room and walked into the kitchen and it was still dark. That can’t be right. It should be 4:30 pm, the middle of the afternoon. Did I sleep for 24 hours straight? I looked at my phone and saw the date. My heart dropped. I had only slept for 15 minutes. It is like dreams take place in another dimension where time doesn’t exist. The Sandman was able to torture me for hours in dream time while allowing me to sleep for a few minutes. I cried. Seriously, I cried like a baby.
He held up his end of the bargain, I can fall asleep any time I want to, except now I am afraid to go to sleep. Everytime I fall asleep, he takes me away to his realm and gives me nightmare after nightmare. Every dream is one where he does something horrible to me and my dream self feels every bit of excruciating pain. And he never allows me to sleep more than an hour at the most.
I eventually accepted my fate. He is going to torture me, but it is all a dream. I will wake up feeling mostly normal. Then things changed. It is like he knew I had stopped fighting, so he found a new way to hurt me. Instead of hurting me in my dreams, he started to make me watch him hurt people I loved in their dreams. I didn’t think it was real until I heard from my sister about how my niece has been having terrible nightmares and refusing to go to sleep. When she described her dreams, I already knew, because I was there too.
That has been my life for the past however many months. Instead of trying to take medicine or listen to music or having The Sandman put me to sleep, I try to use my insomnia to stay awake for as long as my body will withstand it. I drink coffee and energy drinks, I take adderall, but eventually sleep always comes, even if for short periods. No matter how hard you fight it, your body will always sleep, and the Sandman will be there waiting on me.

NoSleep. Ironically, I am posting this to NoSleep. You are here to read stories so scary that they will keep you up all night, I am here because I can’t fucking sleep. I haven’t slept in 3 days, and I can’t even remember the last time I got real sleep. The kind where you go to sleep and stay asleep. The kind where you naturally drift off to a relaxing sleep and not your body forcibly shutting itself down against its own will. So I am sorry if I ramble some, but I can’t help but laugh at the irony of this being on no sleep. Is that funny to you too, or just to me because I am too tired to be rational?
I have real insomnia. The kind where people think you are insane, and to be honest, they aren’t wrong. I have had it since I was in college, but it has only gotten worse and worse. I can't even remember the last time I slept. Wait? I told you that already.
I’ve been to a sleep specialist. I’ve been on every sleeping pill you can think of. Melatonin, no caffeine, no naps, Ambien, Sonata, Lunesta, silenor, antidepressants, Seroquel, Ativan, benzos, you name it, I have taken more than they recommended. Still no relief or sleep.
I know, you are not reading this to read the ramblings of a madman who hasn’t slept in days. You are here because you want a scary story. I’ve got one for you. I think it is real. To be honest, when you haven’t had a real night's sleep in months, dreams and reality start to become one big blur.
The story starts about 6 months ago, maybe? It was still winter and the virus was not a big deal yet. I remember that much for sure.
I had been up for days when a commercial came on for an over the phone psychic reading. If a doctor couldn’t help, maybe a spiritual advisor could. No, I didn’t need a psychic, what I needed was a hypnotist. You have seen them before, they can just snap their fingers and you fall asleep instantly! This is the answer to all of my prayers.
It was a scam. They had me lay down and close my eyes, then they softly started talking while I tuned out. When I woke up, she said when I go to sleep at night to relax and listen to a youtube channel that softly plays music and tells you to relax. It didn’t work at all except that every time I listen to soft background music I get the strong urge to make a grilled cheese sandwich, which is weird because I had not had one since I was maybe 9. I think she just hypnotized me to crave grilled cheese. She probably invests in the Big Cheese Industry and makes money by making people crave grilled cheese. What a waste of money.
So much for that idea. The next night I still couldn’t sleep. I decided to watch my feel-good movie: Back to the Future. During the movie, Marty goes back in time to 1955 and there is a part where a song comes on, you hear the unmistakable BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM! MR. SANDMAN! BRING ME A DREAM! (That song will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I’m not sorry.)
When I heard the song, I started to boil over in rage. Maybe it was from the lack of sleep, or maybe I am just insane, but I picked up the remote and threw it into the LED screen breaking the tv. I screamed, “THAT IS THE MOTHER FUCKER WHO HAS CURSED ME! THE FUCKING SANDMAN! I AM GOING TO FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!”
This went on for longer than I am willing to admit, but you get the point. The Sandman was my enemy. The one who is supposed to deliver us into sleep every night had decided to stop visiting me. What had I ever done to him to make him skip me every night not allowing me to sleep? The Sandman was to blame.
The Sandman was going to have to answer for these wrongs. I was determined to find a way to confront him and give him a piece of my mind. I just had to figure out how the hell you could find or trap it. At this point, I don't care if The Sandman is God himself, I was going to find him..
I thought about it for a while and decided based on movies and books, the way to call a god to you is to summon it. Sounds simple enough, Let’s do it.
Another long story short, putting candles in a circle and yelling I SUMMON YOU SANDMAN! Doesn’t work.
Again, I was back on the internet looking for someone to help me. After talking to someone I was given the email of an African Witch Doctor named Mrs. Fatima. I emailed her and she agreed to help me if I send her bitcoin. She even offered to come out for more money, but screw that, I can do it myself. Why the hell does everything have to be so difficult? Can’t people just take a credit card like the rest of the world? Always extra steps for some weird-ass digital currency crap.
Screw it, I am willing to try anything at this point. I sent her the bitcoin. Whatever the hell that is. It is expensive, I can tell you that much.
After she got the money, she replied to my email with detailed instructions and a warning. She could help me summon The Sandman, but advised against it. Summoning a dead person is dangerous, summoning a demon is disastrous, summing a God is deadly. I thought about it for less than a moment and decided to do it. What is the worst that can happen? I die and am in an endless uninterrupted sleep for eternity? Sounds like heaven to me.
Under her instructions, I waited until 2 am the following night. You can do it anytime, but the barrier between the spirit realm and the mortal world is the thinnest in the early morning hours when people are sleeping. She advised to go somewhere secluded like in the middle of the woods since it would be desolated and more likely to work. I am doing it in my bedroom, it gets the same amount of girls in it as a desolated forest. Lucky for me, I also need the blood of a virgin, so I got that covered too! Just joking, I don’t need blood.
The first thing I needed to do was draw a large circle in chalk. The circle had to be complete and above all else, not broken. The circle is the doorway between realms, if it was not complete it would not work. It also acts as an invisible wall to keep the spirit contained once you summon it. Keep the circle complete at all times. I drew a circle on my hardwood floor. Easy.
The next step was to light 5 red candles drawing a pentagram star. They have to be red because the devil is red and we are practicing devil magic, that’s my explanation, not hers.
Inside the circle, I was to fill it with sand. If you are summoning The Sandman, you need sand?
That was all I needed. Some chalk, candles, a secluded spot, and sand. I was closer than I thought earlier.
Next, the hard part, summoning a god.
The first step is to clear your mind and meditate. Most people have a hard time with this, but I have been meditating for years. They said it would help me sleep, it doesn’t. Don’t waste your time.
The next step is to concentrate on the circle, opening the pathway in your mind. Like imagining it disappearing or opening it like a door?
When your mind is clear, envision the one you are summoning. Do I just imagine what I think he looks like in my head? It’ll have to work.
When you feel the energy start to peak, only then can you summon the spirit into the realm. Call out to the spirit you desire and demand it’s presence. Do not ask. Demand it. This is your world and you must stay in control at all times. If you give up control, the spirit will be able to take control and possibly hurt or kill you.
If you do everything right, you will have summoned the spirit.
Let’s do this. I have a bone to pick with that asshole Sandman.
The circle is drawn, the candles are lit, and sand is in the circle. I turned off the lights for good measure, it wasn’t in the instructions, but it makes for a better dramatic effect.
I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I imagined the circle in my mind as an empty white space, a void, a door, then I imagined a portal like in the video game with a blue glowing loop.
Next, I imagined The Sandman. Was he a human figure who carried sand, or a God made of sand? I kept trying back and forth, and everything in between before I finally settled on a spirit outlined in the sand.
I held my concentration on The Sandman and the opening of the portal. It felt like nothing was happening when suddenly everything changed. My eyes were shut but I could feel the energy start to build in the room. It felt like a strong storm was blowing on the outside of the house. I couldn’t physically feel the force, but I could feel the pressure growing and growing. Finally, I felt the energy reach its crescendo like something was trying to push itself through the circle into my room.
It’s time to open the gate.
“I OPEN THE PATHWAY AND DEMAND YOUR PRESENCE SANDMAN! THE DOOR IS OPEN AND I ORDER YOU TO APPEAR BEFORE ME!
I felt resistance trying to pull energy back from the door, not wanting to obey.
“SANDMAN! APPEAR BEFORE ME NOW!”
The energy in the room seemed to explode out of the circle. I opened my eyes to see the sand turning in a tornado inside the circle high above my head. I gasped in shock, wondering if I was dreaming. This couldn’t be real. Suddenly the tornado dissolved and the sand formed into a figure with red eyes staring down at me.
“WHAT MORTAL DARES TO SUMMON ME!” He roared. “WHO HAS MADE SUCH THE MISTAKE TO SUMMON A GOD!”
I may have made a mistake. The thing is, spirits and especially Gods, do not like it when mortals summon them. They have to come if you summon them, and that pisses them off. They are over there doing ghost and god stuff and get interrupted by people who can’t even walk through a wall. So if you do ever try this, just expect the ghost or demon or god to be in a pissy mood when they come. It is understandable when you think about it.
I looked up at the god, not backing down, and responded “I did.”
Sand swirled around The Sandman as he looked at me in disbelief.
“You are The Sandman, right?” I yelled at him. “You are the god of sleep, the god of dreams, right?”
“I am,” it growled.
“Then why the fuck can I not sleep?” I said. “It has been years and I am stuck awake for days at a time. Why have you done this to me?”
A deep laugh came from the circle. “You think I care about you, mortal? Do you think I waste my time on someone as insignificant as you or your kind? I am a god. A GOD! I don’t have time to waste being here talking to you. Release me!”
“I am not going to release you until you give me what I want.”
The sand settled down and it was quiet. I waited for it to respond.
“You want something from a God? What do I get out of the deal? What do you have that I could possibly want?”
“Give you something?” I asked. “You are the asshole who won’t let me sleep.”
“I am feeling generous. We can make a deal,” it said. “I will give you the ability to sleep anytime you want”
“What is the catch?”
“Ahhh! The catch. Smarter than you look.” He said. “I am the God of Sleep and Dreams. You can sleep, but I will control your dreams.”
”Can’t you do that anyway?” You are the God of Dreams”
“Do we have a deal or no? Answer me before I change my mind.”
Damn it. I know he is playing me as a fool. Fuck it, I’ll solve my sleep problem now and worry about the catch later.
“We have a deal, Sandman.”
“A deal it is” he laughed. “Anytime you wish to sleep just say Mr. Sandman, Give me a dream.’ And you will be asleep in less than a minute.”
“You gotta be kidding me.”
“My game. My rules.” He said. “Now release me.”
“You are released.”
“See you in your dreams!”
The energy that had filled the room evaporated into thin air, the sand fell back into the circle, the candles went dark, and The Sandman was gone.
Was that real or am I hallucinating again? And damn! What even happened there? I was ready to cuss him out and he somehow took control of the encounter. Shit! Mrs. Fatima warned me it could be deadly if he took control. Then again, he made a deal and I can finally sleep.
What is done is done. I blew out the candles and decided to put our deal to the test. He will allow me to sleep anytime I want, real sleep, he will just be controlling my dreams. I’ve had nightmares, what happens in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there. Right?
It was 4:15 am. I turned off the lights, turned the fan on high, and put on some calming music and prepared to lay in bed awake for hours on end. I said the magic words As soon as I closed my eyes, I was out like a rock.
The dream started. I was back five minutes earlier saying “What happened in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there, right?” There was an echo repeating the same phrase back to me. That isn’t a good start.
I laid down in bed, just like before and closed my eyes trying to sleep but this time no sleep came, like always. I sat there for hours trying to sleep. I meditated, listened to calm music making me crave grilled cheese, and tried to will myself to sleep. My dream self was exhausted and on the verge of tears from being unable to sleep.
The Sandman’s idea of a joke is to give me insomnia in my dreams so I couldn’t escape it. Funny joke, but as long as I wake up refreshed I don’t care.
I looked at the clock and it was 7:45 and the sun was up or would be if I didn’t have the windows blacked out. Too exhausted to get up I laid in bed and prayed for sleep.
A moment later, the red candles flickered to life in a star pattern, the room went cold, then the sand started to swirl up into the air. The Sandman appeared in the circle.
My body stiffened, I couldn’t move a muscle, not even to close my eyes. Is this what sleep paralysis feels like? I thought back to my email with Mrs. Fatima and remembered as long as the circle was complete he would be stuck inside.
“That is only true when you’re awake. You’re in my world now,” he laughed as he floated across the circle to my bedside. “You brought me to your world, now I have you in mine. A deal is a deal.”
Ah shit. I knew taking his deal was a bad idea. Never negotiate with a god. You will never come out ahead. I tried to answer him but I was still paralyzed.
“Do you know the legend of The Sandman? The original story? The real story?” He stood over me.
Everyone knows the legend. He comes at night, sprinkles sand in your eyes so you will sleep well and have good dreams. You wake up with sand in your eyelashes.
“Wrong!” He yelled. “That is a story told much later after I left the mortal world to stop people from fearing me. You are about to find out the real legend of The Sandman.
I laid in bed unable to move, my eyes held open by some imaginary force, staring at him in fear.
He held out his hand in front of my face and blew. I felt the wind on my face followed by the sand. The awful awful sand. Unable to close my eyes the sand blanketed my eyes. I could feel every grain of sand stick to my eyes.
Finally, I had control of my eyes again and started to blink uncontrollably. Each blink the sand grinded deeper and deeper into my eyeballs and eye socket. Each blink felt like shards of glass cutting my eyes. My eyes became watery and started to tear up but it wasn’t tears but blood leaking down my face. The pain engulfed my face but I couldn’t move, only involuntary blinking trying to clear the sand from my eyes. Each blink the sand cut farther and farther into my eyes. The pain became excruciating like someone had stuck a red hot fire poker in each eye. I wanted to scream out but nothing else worked on my body. Then the pain disappeared.
I assumed I had blacked out or went unconscious but that doesn’t happen in dreams and I wasn’t that lucky. Instead, I felt a weird sensation on my eyeballs then the feeling of water being poured into my eye. When it stopped, my vision started to appear again, blurry at first but clearing. I could see a sandy palm and fingers like I was being carried in The Sandman’s hand.
“The legend of The Sandman isn’t that he comes to put sand in your eyes to help you sleep, he comes to put sand in your eyes to steal eyeballs of kids who stay up too late.” He said. “I’m making an exception for you.”
He opened his palm and I could see my lifeless body, still in bed, not moving, the face covered in blood with empty holes as eye sockets. I am seeing myself from my own eyeballs. What the fuck, even for a dream this is fucked up. Luckily the pain had stopped, for now.
“Do you know what happens next in the legend? Do you know what I do with the eyeballs I steal” He asked like I could to respond. I didn’t know the answer but I knew I was about to find out.
“Right you are. Close your eyes, It’’s a surprise.” He laughed. “Get it? You can’t! You have no eyelids. Hahaha”
Excuse me for not thinking the joke is funny, being the butt of the joke.
“He pointed my eyes toward the moon and asked, “Do you like The Dark Side of the Moon?”
What the hell does the Pink Floyd album have to do with anything? Who doesn’t like it?
“Great. Let’s take a trip there. You’re dreaming so we can be there in, what would you say, a blink of an eye?”
Fucking funny. A moment later, we were on the dark side of the moon. It looked like the moon, but dark. He walked into a crater and I started to hear cries. Not like human cries, more like an animal cry. Not just one animal but a bunch. The cries got louder and louder. Even in a dream, I knew something bad was about to happen.
We finally arrived at what I would call a nest. Not your typical earth nest, but an enclosure that held a bunch of giant ugly bird-like featherless babies. Not dinosaur big, but big enough. Each bird-like creature was lifting its beak up in the air crying for its parents to bring it back food. What the fuck kind of food was available on the moon or in space is beyond my understanding, but that’s exactly what my eyes were seeing.
“After I steal the eyeballs, I bring them back here and feed them to the birds. In your world, you may throw bread out to the birds for a treat. In my world, I feed them your eyes.”
Fuck. Can I wake up now? I really don’t feel like being eaten by a giant alien baby bird thing.
“The legend says I fed them to my children, but that is the part they got wrong.” He said. “Sweet dreams, prince.”
He tossed my eyes into the air into the waiting mouth of one of these creatures. I saw it’s beak close as my eyeballs exploded into a gooey mess.
The dream ended and I woke up in a panic. I tried to open my eyes but they were sealed shut. I lifted my hands, happy I could move again, and felt my eyelids crusted over with sand. I cleared them the best I could but needed a warm compress to clean all the salt out. When I finally opened my eyes, they hurt. Everything had happened in the dream, but somehow my eyes felt sore.
I thought back to what I said and heard in my dream, “It is just a dream, nothing can hurt me there.” It is true, I wasn’t really hurt, but I’ve never woken up feeling pain I got from a dream. What is going on?
Still, If I dreamed, that means I slept! A nightmare isn’t so bad if I get real sleep. The dream felt like it lasted hours, a few more nights of this and I will have a somewhat normal sleep schedule and feel rested. I looked at the clock to see it was 4:30. I slept 12 hours and 15 minutes. Amazing!
I opened the door to my room and walked into the kitchen and it was still dark. That can’t be right. It should be 4:30 pm, the middle of the afternoon. Did I sleep for 24 hours straight? I looked at my phone and saw the date. My heart dropped. I had only slept for 15 minutes. It is like dreams take place in another dimension where time doesn’t exist. The Sandman was able to torture me for hours in dream time while allowing me to sleep for a few minutes. I cried. Seriously, I cried like a baby.
He held up his end of the bargain, I can fall asleep any time I want to, except now I am afraid to go to sleep. Everytime I fall asleep, he takes me away to his realm and gives me nightmare after nightmare. Every dream is one where he does something horrible to me and my dream self feels every bit of excruciating pain. And he never allows me to sleep more than an hour at the most.
I eventually accepted my fate. He is going to torture me, but it is all a dream. I will wake up feeling mostly normal. Then things changed. It is like he knew I had stopped fighting, so he found a new way to hurt me. Instead of hurting me in my dreams, he started to make me watch him hurt people I loved in their dreams. I didn’t think it was real until I heard from my sister about how my niece has been having terrible nightmares and refusing to go to sleep. When she described her dreams, I already knew, because I was there too.
That has been my life for the past however many months. Instead of trying to take medicine or listen to music or having The Sandman put me to sleep, I try to use my insomnia to stay awake for as long as my body will withstand it. I drink coffee and energy drinks, I take adderall, but eventually sleep always comes, even if for short periods. No matter how hard you fight it, your body will always sleep, and the Sandman will be there waiting on me.

I've tried trazodone, temazepam, sonata, doxepin and now belsomra 20mg with no relief. I'm also prescribed 100mg pristiq, adderall (IR which I make sure my last dose is well before bedtime), PRN xanax (1mg BID that I rarely take on a daily basis).
Has anyone else found relief for severe insomnia? I work night shift so I also try to make sure I stay on a routine sleep schedule but that usually ends up with me laying in bed for hours with maybe 2-4 hours of sleep per night and crashing on my day off for 12 hours once a week. It's my first week taking the belsomra but I was hoping this medication would have more of an immediate effect on my inability to fall and stay asleep.
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!

Hi All:
I'm prescribed 2x IR doses by my doctor, which i've been on for about a year. I don't take meds on the weekend, save for rare times when I have a big event or thing due.
I don't struggle with falling asleep, but I have a specific problem staying asleep:
Recently I've been waking up very early on nights where I will be taking a dose in the morning. An example was last night (sunday) I went to sleep at midnight and was wide awake at 2AM. I tried to go back to sleep and laid in bed for an hour, then just got out of bed took my dose and started my day at ~330AM
On days like this I end up getting 2-4 hours of sleep max
On friday and saturday nights, when I wont be taking a dose in the morning, I can get a solid 8-9 hours sleep easily.
I've tried melatonin, 250mg CBD oil, lavender, theanine, 5-htp, meditating, clean diet, exercising at different times of the day. -- nothing actually works.
What I *think* is happening is my mind is anxious to take it's next dose and it knows it's getting one monday-friday mornings, and my anxiety about getting that dose in is making sleep impossible.
This problem started around the time corona virus hit. Before covid19, I would get up early on days I was dosing but never at 2-3AM, maybe 6-7AM. So it's my anxiety levels messing up my sleep.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? I will be talking to my dr about it on our next appt but wanted to see if y'all have dealt with something like this?
I think my options are:

1. switch meds, which I will do, but reluctantly as adderall works for my symptoms
2. get a prescription sleep aid: probably sonata (zaleplon), and take it at 2/3am, or catapres (clonidine) before going to sleep. take them only on days before I dose. I'd like to avoid sleep meds as they have wacky side effects and might mess with long term sleep health.
3. do nothing, get 2-4 hours of sleep 5x a week and get 8-10 2x a week.

Has anyone ever been on s Tom of medication and then done a “med wash”, stopping most or all of them and then gradually resuming treatment? If so, how did it go?
Three weeks ago my doctor had me stop my Latuda and Emsam patch. I was really concerned that the Emsam, an antidepressant, was making my moods persistently erratic. I rarely felt even close to calm or normal, even when I wasn’t actively having an episode. Doc wanted me to do it in the hospital but I felt safer and more comfortable at home. I quit my benzos, sleep meds (sonata) and olanzapine as well since I wanted all the unnecessary stuff gone. The only thing I continued was Lamictal for the first two weeks then resumed adderall in morning only.
So the first week was hell. Second week not great. Third week I feel much more settled down. Dare I say, almost normal. Past two nights I got 6-8 hrs sleep without much difficulty. Best sleep I’ve had in ages. Saw my doctor today and he wants to keep me on the Lamictal and bumped my adderall back to twice a day. I’d really rather be on as little medication as possible, especially addictive stuff like benzos and sonata (sleeping pill). And Emsam had been on doctors radar for awhile bc it can make rapid cycling worse for some. Crossing fingers.
Anyone else ever do this? Stop everything (or almost) and then start over? What were your experiences?

I have been on Emsam (selegiline) 6mg patch for four years. I was started on it when hospitalizated for “agitated depression”. I had been previously diagnosed with unipolar depression, anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD. In retrospect I am certain this “agitated depression” was actually a severe bipolar depression with mixed (manic) features. I’m presently on a long list of meds and frustrated that I’m not getting well.
Upon discharge from the hospital after starting Emsam, my mood was already improved and continued to improve-too much. I experienced a manic episode and have been having increasingly severe and frequent hypomanic and manic episodes and episodes of depression with mixed features. Looking back, I can clearly see where there were episodes of hypomania and depression dating back to my teens. They were far less severe and frequent.
I have not felt well in years; all of my symptoms have been escalating and I feel I have extreme emotional lability day to day as well as more frequent and severe bipolar episodes. I hate this! I feel as though my former personality has been replaced by a very unstable moody one where I formerly was good-natured and easygoing (with the occasional mood episode that wasn’t terribly disruptive of my life until recently).
I attribute the worsening of my bipolar disorder and moods to life circumstances and treatment with unopposed antidepressants and high doses of stimulant medications. I had been going through some extremely stressful life events (toxic divorce, children’s health problems, house disasters w recurrent flooding, etc) along with major workplace stress and chaotic schedule with excessive overtime hours and shift swings at my workplace. I was tried on multiple antidepressants and increasing doses of stimulants plus meds for sleep and anxiety.
I finally became so ill that I had to stop working. A few months later, after a full day of neuropsychological testing, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADHD. My bipolar diagnosis was further specified as Bipolar type 1 with rapid cycling. My depressions tend to be the mixed type now; very agitated and restless, decreased need for sleep, pressured thoughts and speech, increased goal directed behaviors to the point of being compulsive, plus the anhedonia, sadness and hopelessness of depression. I no longer have the slowed-down apathetic sort of depression like when I was younger.
Following diagnosis, I was continued on Emsam 6mg and adderall 20mg/day and have had trials of multiple drugs and combinations of drugs for bipolar including lithium, olanzapine, Trileptal, Seroquel, Geodon, Lamictal and most recently, Latuda. I’ve either had to stop due to side effects or because they were not working. I do notice a mild improvement in cycling, with the greatest improvement on Latuda. Latuda gave me the first truly mentally quiet days I’ve had in years. Unfortunately it also impaired my vision (loss of accommodation or focusing ability, confirmed by ophthalmologist). So I had to stop that.
The last time I saw one of my doctors, I was very moody and agitated, easily angered and unhappy. He was just going to stop Latuda and told me to go back to therapy. I was frustrated and felt I was receiving no help. I’m on a multitude of medications and my husband (who works in mental health) asked why I’m still on Emsam with Bipolar 1 and whether stopping Emsam and/or doing a complete “med wash” and starting over would be helpful. I was on Emsam 6mg, adderall 25 mg, clonazepam 1mg (for sleep only), sonata 20mg, Lamictal 100 mg and some assorted other medications for asthma and allergies.
My doctor wouldn’t do a med wash outside the hospital and seemed reluctant to take me off Emsam but he agreed to try it. Since I’m on the lowest dose patch and he could find no information on how to wean off it other than by switching to pills, he opted to have me go to M-W-F dosing with med-free the rest of the days. I was afraid I would be constantly up and down because I can tell when I miss a day of Emsam, I feel spacey and I focused and lethargic. I was angry at the doctor and asked why not just quit it. He kept saying it wasn’t a good idea but didn’t provide any reasons why. He also cut my adderall to 15mg am only (stopped 10mg afternoons dose) and upped my Lamictal to 150mg.
So here I am, feeling rather awful. I can’t seem to find information on weaning off Emsam and don’t know what to expect in terms of possible withdrawal symptoms. I also was taken off Latuda and had adderall dose cut and Lamictal dose increased simultaneously. This makes it confusing. I did use my better judgment and chose to follow doctor’s advice and not stop Emsam abruptly, so I’m 1 week into the M-W-F taper schedule.
And I’m feeling awful. I’m not sure which medication(s) May be the culprit(s) causing the symptoms. I’m moody and increasingly depressed, I can’t concentrate or think clearly and I feel uncoordinated and clumsy; knocking things over and dropping stuff a LOT. I am forgetful. I’ve had some nausea and skin flushing. I think I may have some improvement in vision but it’s still not normal. I feel more tired and experienced the worst suicidal feelings I’ve ever had earlier this week. And I’m still having racing thoughts intermittently. I felt that my days ON the patch were better than days OFF it. I don’t want to be on all those sleep meds so I’m trying to decrease them also. Lamictal increased dose makes me sleepy, so I’ve been able to cut sonata and clonazepam doses in half for several days.
So there’s my long, long story. Sorry for writing a “book”. I know this is not a place for seeking medical advice but what I had hoped for was to find out if anyone has had any experiences similar to mine or could relate to any of it. I’m particularly interested in learning what withdrawal from MAOIs was like if anyone has tried this. Comments on other meds, combos, experiences, especially Bipolar folks, would be welcome too. Anecdotal experience will not be a substitute for professional medical care. I just want to hear about other how others have felt and their experiences.
Thanks.

I finally found a doctor who was willing to consider the idea that my depression was a symptom of my inability to focus, rather than its cause. Got my ADD diagnosis on Monday, and I feel like I can maybe start being hopeful again.
Doctor prescribed Adderall, and we haven't figured out a dose yet. It took 3/4 of a 30mg pill for me to feel anything at all. To help me get back on a human schedule, he also prescribed me Sonata/Zaleplon, which is just supposed to help me fall asleep, and leave my system before causing daytime grogginess.
This morning, I took a 30mg Adderall tablet, and felt like taking a nap an hour later, even after I could feel the weird skin tingly feeling letting me know it had kicked in.
I have usually self-medicated with marijuana to overcome my insomnia, so that was the first night in a while without it. I am fully aware that this could be the entire cause of the problem I'm experiencing now. I DO NOT PLAN ON CONTINUING MARIJUANA USE, and would never consider mixing pharmaceutical substances of any kind without both doctor instruction and pharmacist confirmation. I also completely ceased my caffeine intake before meeting with my doctor the first time, and do not plan to resume.
Earlier tonight during my Adderall comedown, I felt sleepy and calm, actually wanted to go to bed. Popped a sonata as prescribed, did my bedtime routine, and just could not fall asleep. I've been in bed since about 11pm, it's past 6am now, and I have been experiencing rapid heartbeat, RLS, and cold sweats. I also can't stop worrying that the doctor is going to change his mind, or that my body/brain chemistry will ensure I never get to feel human. I know it's unreasonable, but I can't help worrying that all the progress I feel like I've made is going to be taken away, and I'll just get shoved back in the "you have depression" quagmire.
I looked up the info for the sleeping pill, and it does say that it can cause anxiety, but that it's rare. I have also tried melatonin from time to time, and always end up laying awake the entire night, really wishing I could sleep for a few minutes. Has anyone else experienced opposite effects from things that should be calming?
On the slightly hoakier side, has anyone experienced jittery, panicky symptoms correlated with a particular food dye color? I'm just trying to fully cover my bases here.
Obviously, this is also a conversation I'll be having on the phone with my doctor tomorrow morning. I'm just wondering if this reaction has happened for anyone else with this medication specifically (or I guess others of the same/similar class), and what, if any, actually worked without causing drowsiness the next day. I just want to be functional, and I'll be as patient as I have to be... But obviously I'd prefer to be a fully functioning member of society right here and now. But I need to sleep :/
Thanks guys

Hi everyone,
First-time poster, sorry if I do a dumb.
I have had horrific insomnia since I was an infant. I was adopted at 18 months old and had already given up naps completely; I would just lie in my crib and sing to myself.
I'm now twenty-two and my insomnia is just as bad as ever. It takes me anywhere from 4 - 8 hours to fall asleep. On average I get about 2 - 3 hours of sleep a night. At least once a week I'll go a full night without sleeping; a couple times a month I'll go two nights; once or twice a year I'll go three or more nights in a row with no sleep. I don't tend to wake up during the night.
I have regular auditory hallucinations of faint music. (Yes, I'm certain it's not just "stuck in my head.") At three days without sleep I'll get visual hallucinations as well, mostly just visual distortions.
Sometimes, if I've gone a full day or more without sleep, I'll be so tired by the middle of the day that I feel dizzy and lightheaded and am forced to lay down for a "nap" even though I know it will be harder to fall asleep that night. However, I never actually fall asleep during these "naps;" I just lay in bed with my eyes closed, resting. I'll feel a little better when I get out of bed after, but I never actually sleep. I never feel the need to "nap" on a regular day where I slept some the night before.
I have been diagnosed with the following: - ADHD - anxiety - panic disorder - depression - PTSD - autism
From the ages of 1 - 12 I also had night terrors, but I seem to have grown out of them.
I take the following medications: - Adderall, 30 - 60mg/day (I don't take it too late in the day) - Abilify, 5mg - Lamotrigine, 150mg
I also inconsistently take OTC vitamins: 5-HTP, vitamin B complex, Omega D3, and L-Theanine
My sleep hygiene is decent. I can't exercise due to mysterious joint pain; I remember from high school marching band that it didn't make a difference anyway. Occasionally I'll watch Netflix in bed or eat right before bed, but not often enough that I feel like it has a significant impact (considering this has been going on since I was a toddler, when I could do neither of those things). Yoga, tea, warm milk, breathing exercises, and other at-home remedies have been utterly useless.
I've tried many of the less-common techniques as well, such as only going to bed when you're tired, getting up if you can't fall asleep within 30 minutes (I also tried an hour since I knew 30 minutes was impossible), the 28-hour day, etc.
I recently tried meditation and it actually worked REALLY well - for about two weeks, at which point I realized that they got less and less effective every time I listened to them.
I've tried a ton of medications, almost all of them completely ineffective. 50mg immediate release Seroquel worked beautifully, but I had to stop after a month due to unbearable side effects. I can't take it now anyway since I'm now on Abilify.
Medications that DIDN'T work: - melatonin - diphenhydramine hydrochloride - acetaminophen - Lunesta - Ambien - Sonata - Belsomra - Desyrel - Ativan - Silenor - Unisom - Doral
I've also tried self-medicating with weed, both indica and sativa, different strains, smoking through joints, pipes, bubblers, bongs, and making edibles. All of them worsened my insomnia.
I've heard that Adderall/stimulants help some people with ADHD get to sleep; this is not the case for me, although taking it later in the day doesn't seem to HURT, either (I still avoid that, just to be safe).
Oddly, alcohol is the only thing I've found that's usually effective. I'm a lightweight, so three or four margaritas and I'm out like a light. However, this is both expensive and terrible for my liver, so I reserve that for emergencies only.
I am very sensitive to light and sound at night, but while these irritate me, their absence does not improve my insomnia at all. I absolutely cannot sleep if the room is warm (70+ degrees F). I also toss and turn all night and have always done so; I think this is just because I am awake for so long that lying in the same position is bound to get uncomfortable. Even when I try to stay still, it eventually gets unbearable. I sleep on my side.
Maybe I am just doomed to be sleep-deprived forever, but does anyone have any suggestions - whether prescription drugs, OTC, or at-home remedies? Or even just have a similar experience and could empathize? I've never met anyone with insomnia as severe as mine.
TL;DR: Extreme, life-long insomnia that so far is treatment-resistant. Looking for solutions or even possible causes that could lead to a solution.