Pain medication for broken bones

Hey there, everyone! I'm so excited to connect with all of you. I'm a licensed Chiropractor with more than 26 years of experience. My main goal is to support your natural recovery process and help you feel your best. Let's talk a bit about my education. I hold a Doctor of Chiropractic degree from Western States Chiropractic College, where I was actually able to make it onto the Academic Dean's List. Additionally, I earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Biology from Western Washington University, where I focused on Chemistry as well. I was thrilled to graduate Cum Laude from there! I also have a Fellowship in Medical Acupuncture from the International Academy of Medical Acupuncture. It's been an incredible journey expanding my knowledge in this field. Furthermore, I hold a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine from the American University of Integrated Medicine. 📷 Certifications 📷 Certified by the National Boards for Chiropractic (parts I-IV), Physio Medicine, and Acupuncture. Certified Auto Accident Physician. Certified First Line Therapy (FLT) Practitioner for Nutritional Counseling. Whiplash Certified by the Spine Research Institute of San Diego (1999). Physio Medicine Certified. I hope this gives you a better understanding of my background and expertise. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or if there's anything I can do to assist you. If you’re feeling pain or discomfort, don’t wait - schedule a consultation with me at Ahnen Chiropractic today! Let’s work together on your journey to wellness. 📷📷 #mesaarizona #chiro #chiropractor #arizona #dobsonranch

“That couldn’t have been easy.” The navigator said softly.
“He was my friend.” Rene had nothing more to say. He handed the still-smoking musket back to Deschane, feeling soiled in way that he knew would never wash off.
Deschane nodded grimly.
“It had to be done. For the good of the Fleet.”
They hid and waited. The Amits scuttled into view and prodded the body with furtive movements. They conferred, tapping quick rhythms with their feet and making tactile signs with their vestigial arms. Then without any preamble, they took hold of Lethway’s feet and went off, dragging him after them.
It would have ended there had not at that moment an Amit come striding into the clearing, bearing aloft a curious standard. It was one of the staked carcasses of their brethren that lined the perimeter. The Amit carrying it was shaking it about in evident fury. It reared up high and waved it about, pieces of dried chitin falling away to scatter onto the ground.
From all around them, the Amits gathered, intrigued by the display. Rene watched as one by one, the Amit touched the lips of the corpse, passing the fingers of their hands over its ruined face with something approaching reverence. He was startled when he recognized this gesture: the nymph by the river had done the same with its nursemaid.
Shudders of thought carried down from the center of the gathering mass of warrior brood, emanating from the one at center, he that bore the object of their displeasure. He pointed to the distance, towards Mound 13, shaking with rage. The others began to flex their mandibles in eagerness.
“Ancestors preserve us,” breathed Deschane.
“The fear-death pheromones? Why aren’t they affected?”
“Command thought they were a separate race. But these were their elders. Their holy men, their priests and caretakers. And Mound 13 was their sacred place.”
The Amit reached a consensus. Their teeming ranks turned towards Mound 13, towards their position, and Rene already knew it would be no use running.
“Give me your pistol,” said Deschane.
“But how will I fight?”
“You won’t. Get back there and raise the alarm.”
“What about you, sir?”
But Deschane was already heading off.
“I’ve a few tricks in mind. Might buy you some time. Now go, before I change my mind.”
Rene turned and ran. The last he saw of Deschane was him moving along the tree line, firing all that he could into the approaching mass, a man tossing pebbles into an oncoming wave.
Rene reached the main road and began signaling the towers for all he was worth. He made the hand sign for enemy contact, holding his arms up in a wide A. They saw his message, and bells began to toll from every corner of the mound.
He squeezed past the gate just before they barred it shut, mounting the palisades and taking his place next to Admiral Prota.
She watched, pale-faced, as the Amit host came on. They had torn up all the stakes and were waving them on high in defiance and hatred.
“So they do possess empathy. How unexpected,” said Admiral Prota faintly.
Terrified men rushed into position and the palisades bristled with armament. Canon were wheeled into place and hurriedly prepared.
Just out of musket range the Amit paused, eyeing the towering defenses before them.
“What are they waiting for?” a trooper wondered aloud.
“Let them,” said his companion, barely able to keep his teeth from chattering, “It gives us time to load the cannon.”
An officer came forward and asked:
“Your orders, madame?”
“Fire when ready.” Her voice did not tremble, though Rene knew she felt the same fear.
With an earth shattering roar the artillery began tearing holes into their serried ranks. And with that, battle was joined. A great line of smoke erupted down the length of the palisade. Several were cut down by the fusillade, but many more surged on. Such was the impetus of their charge that they reached the base of the walls before another volley could be gotten off and began to scale the vertical surface with their grasping digits. Soon it became apparent that the first layer of defense would not hold. The defenders fixed bayonets or fired at point blank range as the enemy spilled over the tops of the walls like a swollen river bursting through a dam, slaying as they went. Men were cast down from the heights into the gleeful throng below and torn apart.
The order to withdraw was given. Rene crammed into the pressure gate with the rest of the bloodied defenders, heard cries of despair from the ones left behind as the great door began to slide shut.
All about was chaos. Alarm bells rang incessantly. Men scrambled to put on their surface gear in anticipation of the inevitable breach. Admiral Prota was in the midst of it, directing their desperate, futile efforts.
“Brosio! Take your platoon to the southern tunnels and hold them there! They’ll be climbing down from the breach on the eastern side at any moment! Engineers, prep the charges! Make them pay for every inch!”
She caught sight of Rene as he stood bewildered.
“Ensign! Go up to the artillery on the second feeder tower and ask them why they’ve stopped firing!”
Rene’s instinct to serve snapped him back into reality. He saluted, then ran off before remembering that he was in a foreign mound and had not the slightest idea how to get there. He grabbed a passing trooper.
“The stairs!” he screamed into the man’s face, “Which way to the second feeder tower?”
“Damned if I know!” the trooper yelled back, before shoving him roughly aside and hurrying off down the corridor. Already he could hear gunfire echoing down the tunnels. The Amits had found the holes in the damaged eastern section and had pried their way inside.
Rene found a landing and dashed up the spiraling steps. He was panting heavily when he opened the door at the top and was greeted by a cold rush of air. He looked up and saw the great turbine fans turning slowly in their shafts, linked to an endless source of running water beneath. Far above him, at the tower’s peak the guns had fallen silent. He saw Amits crawling over the lip of the opening, like flies into the open mouth of a bottle.
“Get out of the way!”
A squadron of men bustled past him and formed up to surround the bottom of the tower. They fired upwards, and bodies began to rain down, bouncing off the sides or cut to pieces as they were caught by slanted blades of the fans. A bisected Amit, still alive, fell at his feet. It slashed at him with a stone dagger, and he leapt back and bayonetted it in the brainstem three times in quick succession. It shuddered and went stiff.
Reasoning that since the artillerymen were all undoubtedly dead, Rene considered his duty there as done. He went back down the stairs and stumbled into a hot wash of flame. Meat was burning, whether of friend or foe he could not tell. A bullet whistled past his nose and he ducked back into the stairway.
“Human! I’m human!” he cried out.
“Well then, get over here you idiot!” the shooter replied.
A makeshift barricade had been set up with old crates and furniture. He scrambled past the charred remains of dead Amits and clambered over to the other side.
They were throwing incendiaries down the hall, flammable oil in glass flasks, stoppered by cotton wicks. The air was thick with smoke. On the other end of the hallway amid the carnage and the dead the Amits cowered behind the corners and doorways, multifaceted eyes glinting with malice.
Rene joined the defense of the barricade. Ever so often one or two Amits rushed out and were driven back by the cocktails or roasted alive. With each assault however, the men of the Fleet were losing more ammunition. Already they were down to the last box of fire flasks. It would not last.
The Amits sensed this and became tense. Quietly the men fell back. An engineer set the fuse to a mining charge and scurried away. The Amits made their rush, clambered triumphantly over the top, and were buried in flame and rubble as the archway collapsed onto them. The men cheered and began preparing the next barricade.
This pattern was repeated several times. The Amits broke off stalactites and shaped them into crude picks, digging away the debris to make their assault anew. The men laid ambushes, hiding in the side corridors and shuttered rooms and rushing into the thick of them at the appointed signal. They repulsed each assault with unyielding tenacity, then with rousing hurrahs led their own counter-charges to break the enemy’s momentum.
Stone axe met bayonet in bloody conflict amidst the ruined halls of Mound 13. It was a brief, brutal war of annihilation, and the toll was bloody on both sides.
Gradually the humans were pushed back, collapsing tunnel entrances as they went, until at last the final barricade was put up, and they resigned themselves to their fate. In the vaunted star chamber what was left of the weary defenders propped blocks of stone against the entrance and wedged broken beams of wood at the direction of the engineers. They had salvaged a small twelve-pounder gun, which they wheeled into position at the firing hole, loaded with canister shot.
In the tired crowd of pale, hopeless faces, Rene spotted Admiral Prota, breathing hard in her bloodied sealant suit. An Amit mandible was embedded in her chest. With every breath she took came painful sucking noises.
“Well, ensign. This looks to be it,” she said as Rene knelt by her side.
“Aye, sir,” he replied, “We made them bleed for it, though.”
“It’s a shame. Ever since I came to this place, I’ve wondered what things would have been like if we’d known the truth, whatever that is. I doubt if it would have changed our relations with the Amit. We seem to have been destined for conflict with one another right from the start.”
“Were you ever close to finding it?”
She smiled sadly.
“Shreds and hints of the grander scheme of the ancestor-gods, but never definite answers. If there are any to be found, they were probably buried in the eastern section. But we never got around the exploring it,” Prota sat up, pain written on her face as blood came curdling up into her mouth. She spat to the side and continued:
“Ah, but maybe it’s for the best. Maybe your commander was right. Perhaps it’s better to forget the past. To forget the sins of our species. To forget…” Prota’s voice trailed away, and her head slumped forward. Rene did not attempt to rouse her. It was better that she wouldn’t be conscious for what came next. He clasped her hand in his own and waited for the end.

Blurb: Stranded on the hell-planet of Arachnea, the last remnants of the human Fleet fight to survive in a world overrun by insectoid monsters and a sentient ecosystem gone mad. It is a war they are destined to lose, as with every century that passes, more of the ancient science lies forgotten, replaced by myth and superstition. That is, until assistant navigator Rene stumbles the mightiest weapon of the ancestor-gods...
Link to 1st chapter here: 1st chapter on HFY
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

First Level-Up: Level 2

• Upon the first level-up, the first rank of every perk is available if the minimum SPECIAL requirement is met, and these will be the only options available for two more levels until…

Level 5

• Basher 2
• Sneak 2
• Fortune Finder 2

Level 6

• Pickpocket 2
• Lead Belly 2

Level 7

• Big Leagues 2
• Locksmith 2
• Lady KilleBlack Widow 2
• Gunslinger 2
• Scrounger 2

Level 8

• Life Giver 2

Level 9

• Iron Fist 2
• Rifleman 2
• Toughness 2
• Attack Dog 2
• Hacker 2
• Bloody Mess 2

Level 10

• Strong Back 2
• Demolition Expert 2

Level 11

• Heavy Gunner 2
• Refractor 2
• Commando 2
• Idiot Savant 2

Level 12

• Animal Friend 2
• Sneak 3

Level 13

• Armorer 2
• Sniper 2
• Rad Resist 2
• Adamantium Skeleton 2
• Gun Nut 2
• Four Leaf Clover 2

Level 14

• Basher 3
• Awareness 2
• Local Leader 2
• Nuclear Physicist 2

Level 15

• Big Leagues 3
• Party Boy/Girl 2
• Gunslinger 3
• Better Criticals 2

Level 16

• Blacksmith 2
• Lady KilleBlack Widow 3
• Chemist 2
• Ninja 2

Level 17

• Pickpocket 3
• Lead Belly 3
• Lone Wanderer 2
• Science! 2
• Mister Sandman 2
• Critical Banker 2

Level 18

• Iron Fist 3
• Rifleman 3
• Toughness 3
• Medic 2
• Action Boy/Girl 2

Level 19

• Cannibal 2
• Inspirational 2
• Robotics Expert 2
• Grim Reaper’s Sprint 2

Level 20

• Strong Back 3
• Life Giver 3
• Cap Collector 2

Level 21

• Heavy Gunner 3
• Refractor 3
• Aquaboy/Girl 2
• Wasteland Whisperer 2
• Hacker 3
• Commando 3

Level 22

• Rooted 2
• Demolition Expert 3
• Chem Resistant 2
• Mysterious Stranger 2

Level 23

• Intimidation 2
• Scrapper 2
• Sneak 4

Level 24

• Pain Train 2
• Ghoulish 2
• Moving Target 2
• Scrounger 3

Level 25

• Armorer 3
• Night Person 2
• Attack Dog 3
• Gun Nut 3
• Fortune Finder 3

Level 26

• Basher 4
• Sniper 3
• Concentrated Fire 2
• Rad Resistant 3
• Adamantium Skeleton 3
• Nuclear Physicist 3
• Gun Fu 2

Level 27

• Big Leagues 4
• Solar Powered 2
• Gunslinger 4

Level 28

• Steady Aim 2
• Penetrator 2
• Animal Friend 3
• Science! 3
• Quick Hands 2

Level 29

• Blacksmith 3
• Blitz 2
• Ricochet 2

Level 30

• Strong Back 4
• Pickpocket 4
• Medic 3
• Mister Sandman 3

Level 31

• Iron Fist 4
• Rifleman 4
• Toughness 4
• Attack Dog 4
• Nerd Rage! 2
• Bloody Mess 3

Level 32

• Chemist 3
• Four Leaf Clover 3

Level 33

• Hacker 4
• Ninja 3

Level 34

• Demolition Expert 4
• Idiot Savant 3

Level 35

• Heavy Gunner 4
• Refractor 4
• Rad Resistant 4
• Commando 4

Level 36

• V.A.N.S. 2

Level 37

• Night Person 3
• Party Boy/Girl 3
• Scrounger 4

Level 38

• Cannibal 3
• Sneak 5

Level 39

• Armorer 4
• Gun Nut 4

Level 40

• Strong Back 4
• Lone Wanderer 3
• Scrapper 3
• Quick Hands 3
• Fortune Finder 4
• Better Criticals 3

Level 41

• Locksmith 4
• Cap Collector 3
• Science! 4
• Mysterious Stranger 3

Level 42

• Big Leagues 5
• Refractor 5
• Gunslinger 5

Level 43

• Rooted 3
• Inspirational 3
• Critical Banker 3

Level 44

• Robotics Expert 3
• Moving Target 3

Level 45

• Chemist 4

Level 46

• Iron Fist 5
• Rifleman 5
• Toughness 5

Level 47

• Heavy Gunner 5
• Bloody Mess 4

Level 48

• Ghoulish 3
• Four Leaf Clover 4

Level 49

• Steady Aim 3
• Wasteland Whisperer 3
• Medic 4
• Commando 5
• Mysterious Stranger 4

Level 50

• Pain Train 3
• Concentrated Fir 3
• Ghoulish 4
• Solar Powered 3
• Lone Wanderer 4
• Intimidation 3
• Nerd Rage! 3
• Gun Fu 3
• Critical Banker 4
• Ricochet 3

Hi. I’d like to get a different perspective or a word of advice from, preferably, people who have already found a path in life or are managing to do so gracefully, but all insights are welcome. Those who enjoy themselves a long reading are welcome for a ride, too.
So I just finished a work shift and I feel an indescribable "emptiness". The following words contain some venting, but I’ll try to focus on actually fixing things if you can help. And it’ll be long. After all, why would I even bother if I didn’t care that much?
Not long ago I turned 30, and what I believed to be the start of mental clarity seems like an even more blurred state of things. Never before have I felt so uncomfortable with the man in the mirror, and my hopes for better times are bitterly dim, not to say non-existent.
First, a background.
Career-wise, I’m a sad mess. I got an associate degree and worked as a lab technician between the ages 18-22. It was for the money. Got into medical school and dropped out after 4.5 years (the program where I live lasts for 6 in total). Managed to study Psychology for one semester right after, but didn’t like the course, despite being interested in the field. At 29 I enrolled in a private institution for a technologist degree in tech, which helped me in getting an early internship that led to my current position as a hired trainee, despite the current hardships of the market in the field. I lived alone for a while, but now I’m back with my folks because this country’s economy is just as consistent and reasonable as I am. No debts along the journey. After that rodeo, I like to think that I’m no genius, but it would be unfair to be tagged as plain stupid or ignorant, which somehow makes things feel worse in a sense. “Lost” seems appropriate. The truth of the matter is I do not have the slightest idea why I did or am doing any of those things. I’ll get to the more subjective matter soon.
Growing up, I enjoyed drawing my favourite fictional characters, writing short stories, experimenting with different media in traditional painting, reading quite a lot, and I entirely taught myself my English skills and how to play the guitar. Everything was very amateurish, but I used to let myself feel a grain of pride.
Sharing the roof with my family once more made me realize how different we are and have ever been. Mother dearest barely knows how to read and understand a multi-paged text in her own language, and my father is a troubled, narcissistic, manipulative man who never takes responsibility. We have the same name, which stings a little. Two years ago I found out I have some half-siblings from his part running around. Never heard of them before. It feels odd still. I’m glad they let me stay at home, and although our relationship was never and isn’t belligerent, there was never affection. Nowadays, they spend their days on social media on devices they barely know how to use properly. I’ve always felt like that distant nephew who comes to study in the big city and needs a place to stay, so the family allows him to that small unused guest room in the corner. I can’t remember when we had lunch together. I’ve never felt like having protection in childhood, or guidance in adolescence. In adulthood, it feels like whatever.
I have no friends. I feel to weird for normal people. And too normal for the weirdos. And while I enjoy solitude, the introspection, and the silence, I’d be lying if I said I don’t long for connection. Some acquaintances were from those courses or jobs, so it makes some sense not to keep up after so much inconsistency. Some managed to do what I couldn’t and built themselves a life. I’ve had a few girlfriends. The stories were funnily and tragically similar: a recent breakup. The comfort, insights and a shoulder to cry on that I offered. The “No man has ever treated me this respectfully and this fondly before”, and then the “I don’t want anything serious right now” when I was the one in need of the care. Maybe I have a type and am to blame. Or perhaps just bad luck. My last relationship, 4 years ago, broke my heart in a way that hurts the same to this day. And now I’m alone and I don’t see many opportunities to change that soon.
I’ve been in psychotherapy for years now. It helped me to modulate and understand some of my emotions, but it's no coach. Persistent depression disorder. Severe, as diagnosed. I’ve tried several different classes and doses of antidepressants in the past, always for the appropriate periods. None of them worked - I either had only side effects or no changes at all. I might consider coming back to this form of treatment.
Second, the feelings unfiltered.
In retrospect, I’ve always felt lonely and never deserving of love, understanding, care, or contentment and happiness. I feel like good self-esteem and a healthy self-awareness were never stimulated in me, and at the point in which I should take full responsibility for my path, my resources were already so very scarce. Those excerpts of careers I barely had and the one I’m setting myself up now don’t feel like myself. They feel more like a pursuit for recognition as a response to negligence. I feel anger, disappointment, despair, and anxiety, all so much that they become nothing as in mixing all colours to get the white. Since I don’t raise my voice, don’t punch inanimate objects, don’t smile, or cry, and have no one to talk to, I just… Stare at walls.
At the end of my nights, before sleep, I fantasize about a simpler, cozy, slow-paced, quiet life in a cold countryside surrounded by mountains, conifers, and a lake. I’d be happy growing my own food or shopping in the nearby small village, reading a good book in a local coffee shop with a woman I’ve found myself for a lifetime, talking about how happy our friends seem with their new baby. I think I’d like to chop some wood for heat, build some of my own furniture, and share a night of songs and meals with the neighbours. I’d like to work manual jobs, but I very much fear not managing to live decently, at least. At this point, a silent tear just rolled down my face while writing.
I truly don’t believe this is just an idyllic desire that would fall apart at the first touch with the reality of such life.
Waking up to stare at tables and graphs in front of a computer in this ugly, dirty city in a third-world country full of hateful busy people for a meagre amount of virtual numbers in a bank account, only to go to a not-so-great university right after and take some time to study for AWS certifications and the like is not what I had in mind when I was younger, yet I find myself chained to this doomed cycle. If things go at this rate, I might as well off myself anytime soon. Fucking hell.
Third, the thoughts.
Here are where the most painful points of contradiction arise, perhaps, and where I could enjoy enlightenment. While trying to rationalize things, I notice that I have no idea how to pursue any modicum of the life I described above. I know nothing about anything, and the only escape route I think I have from the lens of my depression-propelled tunnelled vision is to engage in this corporate fellatio lifestyle until I have enough money to buy myself my own freedom and move abroad to find a piece of land that needs some tender care and honest work. I could imagine myself living somewhere in Northern Canada or Iceland, for instance. Doing what, I don’t know.
However, the sustainability of this process feels… Unfeasible. Even the idea of freelancing or going for entrepreneurship is tiresome.
I despise the way companies work, in general. And the life in the capital. I figuratively have a stroke every time I hear in a commercial that I need that car of the year, or a new watch, or that new cellphone everyone has. I’m very frugal and take care of my things for a long time. I don’t care for “raising my value in society”.
I think I need to come to terms that I’m not a person of academic or career-wise driven aspirations, but how to live a good life and thrive in this modern world without any of those, if I'm not to inherit anything?
I’m having a hard time with what I do now, and I’m not sure I can manage to be successful enough to make it through to the end. I’m not saying I’m unable or unwilling to make sacrifices, but I want to know if there are less abrasive alternatives with good prospects, and how to get/build them with my own resources, since I, unfortunately, cannot depend on anyone. Otherwise, I guess I don’t have a choice (or that’s what my messed up brain wants me - or itself - to believe). I don’t want to victimize myself. I need to be and do better. But I'm lost.
Fourth, the sooner-than-expected conclusion.
What I wrote has turned out way more disorganized than I’d like, and shorter, at the same time, but I’m tired, and I have things to do. The train of thought is hurt. In summary, if you read it all or parts of it, I’d love to read your thoughts on the matter, words of empathy, or blunt advice. Please, don’t refrain from being the guidance I lack. Or the sympathy in misery.
And in case I don't see ya', good afternoon, good evening and good night.
How do I find a path? [Roll credits]

Hello, I’ve recently come across Kratom online recently and seen the potential benefits.
My basic thing is I’ve been taking Subutex for 14 years (8mg a day the first decade) and now 2mg a day for the last few years.
My prescribing doctor has said it’s fine for me to self taper off of Subutex whenever I want, as I no longer need it much except for moderate as needed pain relief (so it would be within the medical advice but I would of course ask him too).
I know buprenorphine/Subutex (also one of the active ingredients in Suboxone) is MANY times stronger than the opioid agonists in Kratom. However, 2mg is a moderate to low amount of buprenorphine (from what I gather 2mg of bupe has a MME of 45-60mg).
My question is has anyone done this before, or is there a dose of buprenorphine you would recommend working down toward before switching to Kratom, say 0.5mg or 1mg?
Thanks 🙏 so much!

Looking for some comfort, advice or similar experiences. Last year I got diagnosed with MGD & Blepharitis. Alongside that I also have allergic rhinitis that affects my eyes pretty badly. (Opitican told me 3yrs ago). I take allergy medication.
I've been really struggling with dry eye for a few years. I'm in constant pain & discomfort. (I currently cannot afford the eye drops that somewhat help). In the last 4 months, I've lost the ability to physically cry. Which is so upsetting, in the past I found crying helpful with processing & displaying my emotions. Anyone else experienced this ?? How do you cope with not crying / coming to terms with not crying ??

Blackfyre bit into the steel ferociously, carving away at it like a knife at butter. Aenar's eyes widened, in awe of the dent left in its wake. Slipping his blade from the grip of his mother’s Valyrian steel, he planted the pommel on the bridge of Rhaenys’ nose.
As the pommel hit his mother’s nose, her sword drooped from her hand, the tip planting itself in the ground below. The dagger in her other hand slipped from her grip and her knee hit the ground just as the dagger did. A trick of blood appeared from her nose before she yelled, “FUCK! I wish I hadn’t taught you so well!” She brought her free hand to her nose, pinching it just below where the bone ended.
Steel echoed throughout the courtyard, grinding against sand and stone as Aenar joined his mother on one knee.. “I am so sorry mother, I don’t know what happened, I just did it without thinking.”
Licking the blood off her lips Rhaenys smiled, “nothing any dragon wouldn’t do. We have a natural affinity for a fury unlike other humans, we Targaryens more than other dragonlords. The Belaerys were known to poke fun at it when the freeholders were gathered, cute of them to do so and be under our wings now.”
She wiped the remaining blood away from her lips, still holding onto her nose.
“You’re not angry with me mother?” he asked, a hand resting on her shoulder.
“Silly boy, you’re strong and skilled, but you are no warrior yet. You will be one day soon, not yet however,” before she stood up, sheathed Blackfyre and began to walk back inside the palace. “Kick some sand over the blood before you leave,” she said without looking back at the boy.
He’s finally ready, and just in time, she thought as she approached the black arches that opened to the inside of Summerhall. Aenar watched as his mother disappeared into the darkness of the palace of Highwatch, before standing and kicking some sand over his mother’s blood on the ground.
He picked up her dagger and placed it in his belt as he sheathed his own sword, making a note to bring it to the smith for sharpening. He was filled with a sense of pride. She was one of the conquerors, after all. Even a drop of blood shed from them had to come from someone with exceptional skill. Or more than a touch of luck.
Whether it was him or his brother, one of them would be king and soon. His mother and aunt wouldn’t allow for his own thoughts, unless he was able to speak with Lae before it all. If they could come to the agreement then perhaps they would be able to salvage the situation, create something more than the Westerosi ever had in their politics. Depth.
He began walking towards where he had seen Astaraxes last,the northern tower,s nearest to the sea. He imagined that she looked at the birds as something to aspire to for now, before she was truly soar for hours and hours. Small flights around the castle were normal of course normal for her now, but she was not yet strong enough to make it to the mainland Regardless she didn’t want to be so far from him. Aenar smiled at the thought, he had managed to form a strong bond like his mother had with Meraxes, they were friends more than anything else.
All he had to convince Laenor to do was leave the crown behind for their generation, Tumbleton and Fairmarket would be their seats. Then their children would rule together, the first daughter and the first son creating the future royal line as the others left their lines in other places. Laenor could leave a line at Mooncrest and Naerys at Summerhall, they would be able to truly have depth to the family. Recreate Valyria like their father had hoped, but never could. A seat in every kingdom, and King’s Landing the seat of their entire race.
Fourteen seats for fourteen houses, even if there was only one flame.
Walking under the arches of the palace, Rhaenys turned into the cool, dim corridors, making her way up from the courtyard to her own rooms. Grimacing from the pain, with each step closer to her rooms she couldn’t quite believe how much Aenar had grown. A pang of guilt hit her heart, remembering the years away from him. He had grown up to be a brave, bright, young man, but he could have been more, if only he had been with her for those years.
As she turned down another hallway she noticed Naerys walking out the library, and as the girl heard her mother’s footsteps she looked up only for surprise to overtake her face. Holding a book close to her chest she began to run towards Rhaenys. “Mother, are you okay? What happened?”
The worry in her voice was truly adorable, Rhaenys couldn’t help but smile. “It’s fine little one, a sparring incident is all. Your brother has quite the strike these days,” she said with a small laugh.
“Why that rogue! What was he thinking?” before she looked down at Rhaenys, several splotches of blood on her red dress. Barely visible but to Naerys they stuck out like bulls in a herd of sheep. “And why are you sparring in a dress mom?! Surely that’s dangerous!” The girl took a handkerchief from the sleeve of her dress and spit onto it, beginning to clean up her mother’s face, making sure not to move Rhaenys’ fingers from her nose.
“‘T really no big deal, I don’t think it’s broken sweetness. Just a bit of blood to remind me to keep my dagger up. I’m slowing down at my age, it was bound to happen,” Rhaenys answered while smiling with her eyes. “And quit fussing about me! I’m going to my rooms to clean up,” she noticed the girl opening her mouth to speak again and cut her off. “I will be fine, enjoy your book out in the sun. You and your brother only just returned, take the palace in again. But thank you little one,” before Rhaenys tilted her head and kissed Naerys on her temple, careful with her fingers again.
“Run along now,” she said before waiting for the protest, watching as the girl went to protest but instead answered, “yes mother, if you need anything.” Naerys continued walking away but glanced back to see Rhaenys still looking for her with a smile. “Run along love.”
If only you could see my daughter, love, she thought, hoping that Aegon had heard it in the heavens above. She would have been a good wife to Aenar, if only we could have been the ones to make her. A tear swelled in her eye as she watched Naerys turn the corner before continuing to her rooms.
With each step up the round stairs she thought more of what her life could have been, had they not killed him. Prior to that day she thought her sister loved them both, but when she ran from him, instead of staying by his side as he lay dying. She never did love, she couldn’t. The stone cold bitch that she was, her heart was iron. That she believed showing rage would stop others from seeing the truth was her worst mistake. Rhaenys knew, and he would never forget.
As she opened the door to her room and stood for a moment before smiling. “Oh good, you’re here already. Unfortunately that’ll have to wait,” before Rhaenys turned and closed the door behind her, locking it.
She looked at him, seated in a brown leather chair, both of his arms on the armrests as if he was the consort of this castle. “Comfortable, are you?” she asked before walking to the middle of the room and leaning over. She let go of her nose before looking down at the floor, watching to see if more drops came.
His deep voice rang out throughout the room as he asked, “who was it? Surely not Aenar?”
“King Aenar to you, mind your tongue,” she said before smiling back at him and giggling. “But yes, with the pommel too, crazy little boy. At least he’s ready now,” she added before pulling on the lacing of her dress, pulling it off of her shoulders. The man stood up and approached Rhaenys from behind, “let me help,” he said before opening the laces of her dress and slipping her out of it. Rhaenys turned on her heel and planted a kiss on the man’s forehead. “You’re sweet,” before walking over to a bowl of water and washing the blood off of her face, gently around her nose.
“Naerys has grown up so much, I don’t know much about what a Westerosi lady is like, but the ones I have seen have been just like her. Well, almost. Because of course,” she looked back to the man over her shoulder and flipped her hair before laughing. She walked back over and embraced the man, wrapping her arms around him tightly before whispering, “we made a good child together, I can only hope that she has a dragon of her own at some point.”
The man ran his hands through her hair before answering, “one day my love, one day. The boy will do well, though he has his own ideas. I’ve seen his journals, they aren’t according to your plan at all.”
“Of course not,” she answered, letting go of the man before walking to her closet and picking out another red and black dress. “He should have his own ideas, I just have to show him that they are impractical and that will be that,” she said, stepping through the opening before pulling it over her shoulders and putting her arms through the sleeves. “He will learn, trust me on that one. My sister will not allow her child to fall behind, they will be aiming for the throne as well.”
Rhaenys put the hook through the eye before turning to the man once again, “lace me up?”and walking over. She turned around and pulled her hair over her shoulder before continuing, “don’t even tell me his plans. I’ll just be disappointed. He’ll see the error of his ways before long, perhaps not even that long after the nameday celebrations. One could hope at least,” she added before taking in a breath as the man pulled the laces tight. “Gods you always get just the right amount don’t you?”
The man rolled his eyes and smiled, “yes, yes, you can breathe out now,” before watching Rhaenys’ posture relax. “Should we invite Laena for dinner?” Rhaenys asked, thinking about if she had anything to take care of, “I think I’m free so it could be fun!”
“I don’t see why not,” he answered before letting go of Rhaenys, her dress fastened, “there you go, beautiful as ever.”
Taking a step forward before turning and curtsying to the man with a wicked smile, “why thank you, my dear ser knight,” before laughing. The man laughed as well, though less of his laugh came through and more a smile of adoration. “Silly customs they have, who even thought of distinguishing a warrior for something other than blood. A sergeant sure, but granting them a step through their nobility structure, how strange.”
Much less easy to critique the Westerosi, the man rubbed at his temples, “it is a bit freeing for their people however no? The prospect of growing beyond being a farmer?”
“I suppose,” she answered before moving to brush through her hair, misplaced from the sparring and washing her face. She peered through her door while running the brush through her hair and changing her language to Common, “a dinner for three, the children will not be necessary. They will eat together, perhaps with mae-, oh what are they called, maester!”
The guard appeared confused, maester was not such an uncommon word as to forget it. “Of course, Your Grace,” he replied before walking off, leaving his lone colleague at the Queen’s door.
Back in her native Valyrian, “I swear I will remember these words sooner or later, I have to. Or not, I’m fifty,” she said with another laugh.
“You’re still young, my love. If anyone has seen it I have,” he added with a smirk.
She marched over before punching the man in the shoulder, “is that how you talk to your Queen?” before the smile emerged from behind her serious face.
“Silly woman,” the man answered before fixing his doublet. “I suppose we occupy ourselves until they have the dinner set?”
“Yes, I have correspondence from the capital I have to get to. Some law Lord Stark wants to change. I don’t even know what they’re all talking about, I need to read this rather urgently. Why don’t you fetch Laena? Bring her here while we wait,” Rhaenys said while taking a seat at her desk, peeling the wax seal off the letter and beginning to read. Two pages, for what sins has Tyraxes cursed me with this?
“Run along,” as she shooed him away with her hand, her eyes not moving from the parchment. And in fucking Common.
“Why is it necessary for me to read all this about some law that they could have changed and I wouldn’t notice!?” Suddenly her eyes were covered by soft hands and she heard, “guess who?” in her ear.
“Devil witch woman come to abduct me?” Rhaenys answered. The hands relented before Rhaenys turned around, “glad to know I was right,” as a smile went across her face. “The things they have me weighing in on, I do not care about this! He had a title for this very reason! To not bother me!”
Laena rolled her eyes before pulling Rhaenys out of her chair by her hand, “dinner is ready, we don’t want it to get cold do we?”
“I don’t,” the man answered before walking across the hall where they would be eating.
Rhaenys followed Laena and the man before taking a seat at the head of the table, three settings prepared and she lifted her goblet. “The Dornish,” she said to the servant who took a pitcher from a tray another held with three pitchers, and filled the Queen’s goblet. “Thank you,” before she looked at her two friends. “I have made some inquiries as to a marriage with Lord Wylde.”
“Interesting choice, not the Lannister?” the man asked, before motioning for the servant, “the Dornish as well.”
“They’re far from the ideal choice, what with this distance between the armies. The Wyldes or Tyrells would be better choices or even-” Laena’s sentence stopped as the servant approached her, “sweet Arbor red please, and some shade for later. She took a drink from her cup before speaking again, “have either of you seen the Hightower?”
Rhaenys giggled, “what does this have to do with marriage?” before taking a drink of wine.
“Well quite a bit, you see. The Hightowers surrendered to King Aegon, they should be rewarded.” Laena took a drink of her wine, “the Hightower is built on black stone, they say the house began by a marriage of a man who held the island fortress and one of the daughters of Garth Greenhand the father of Garth the Gardener, the first King of the Reach.”
The man looked to Rhaenys and said, “I told you letting her have all the shade she wants and the library was a mistake.”
As Rhaenys laughed, Laena looked at the man, “I am learning the histories of this land, legend or not they are important. All of the most important houses of the Reach trace their lineage back to Garth Greenhand, so-called High King of the First Men. Thousands of years before the Andals even came to Westeros, these houses knew their place by the order of their births from Garth Greenhand. Two of them even began the Starks and Lannisters. The second house to the Gardeners bar the Hightowers have always been the Oakhearts,” she looked at the man whose eyes had wandered from the conversation, “listen to me, this is important!”
“Oh let her speak, it’s better than waiting in silence,” Rhaenys answered, the man bowing his head and focusing his attention again.
“The Field of Fire ended the Gardeners really, with one exception but he doesn’t matter all that much. I hear he is genuine in his claim that he wishes to live the rest of his life in peace. There is the Order of the Green Hand who wants to restore him, but not much on his own. My meandering should be famous,” she said before taking another drink.
“Where is that shade, damn it?” She signed before continuing,“ but the Hightower's black stone fortress, it’s made of Valyrian stone, the same properties at least. Every book on it says it’s nearly identical to Dragonstone. Now again with the Gardener’s, the Hightowers come from Uthor of the High Tower and Maris the Maid, a daughter of Garth Greenhand. They have some of the highest prestige in the Reach, however they grew their power through trade. The Tyrell’s legitimacy exists because you say it does, or rather your brother did. If we gave the Hightowers more legitimacy we could potentially take all of the Reach for our support no?”
Rhaenys and the man looked at each other, before the man spoke up, “the shade has definitely messed with your head but the logic is sound, I have to say.” Rhaenys nodded in agreement before shrugging her shoulders. “That doesn’t mean that Lord Wylde isn’t a good marriage. He’s old, not much power of his own, he can’t do that much. I’ve met his daughter, she seems like a good woman.”
“All of that reading for you to go with the steward?” Laena asked, taking another drink of her wine, “I respect your choice, but this is simply not the most expedient marriage. We could be doing things to ensure that Visenya’s brat doesn’t sit on the throne before Ae-”
“The child is still my own blood, maybe brat isn’t the word you were looking for,” Rhaenys interrupted glaring at Laena.
Laena looked to the man before taking another drink of wine, “I hate it when you’re right, you do know that?”
The man’s eyes did not change, this had happened before and would happen again. Laena was the one that was filled with the fire of her family’s time past, Rhaenys had been tempered by age and the sight of what fire did to men. He’d been there, and he knew the Field of Fire was no spectacle, it was a slaughter, one way and then the other. No one walked away that day a victor, something was lost within every man that walked away from the field that day. “We’re lucky to have such an understanding friend do we not Laena?”
The woman nodded before looking up, “oh! The food is here!” as the dishes were placed on the table, one near each of them, though between them all in case the servants did not foresee the tastes for all three of their masters for the day.
Rhaenys placed some of the duck on her plate along with the carrots and lentils, “the talks were very much early discussions. If Lord Wylde and I do not find common ground then we will consider another choice. I don’t think I am of birthing age anymore, not without much danger to myself and the child at least, this would be purely a political marriage. Can you pass me the goose?”

After spending even more time with the first lady of the Family and labbing all of the playstyles I could think of with her, here is my 2 cent on what I would like to see when Sissy gets updated. Apologies for the length. I like to be descriptive when I make a post like this.

~Poison and Bane Updates~

• Poison now correctly goes through all wall gaps, crawlspaces, and barriers.
  
• Blowing Poison Cloud animation time reduced so Sissy gets the cloud out faster and is able to move again sooner.
  
• Rank 3 Bane Talent: Toxic Cloud is now part of Sissy’s base kit and is extended via Special Blend.
  
• Rank 3 Bane Talent: Toxic Cloud replaced by new ability Thick Clouds.
  
• Thick Clouds: It is harder for Victims to see while within your Poison Cloud.
  
• Poison damage over time is 1 hp of damage every second for 10/12/13.5 seconds (time duration is dictated by Bane Talent: Increase Poison Duration). Can stack 3 times to a maximum of 3hp of damage every second.
  
• For every 5 seconds a Victim remains in the Poison Cloud, a stack of poison damage over time will be added until the 3 maximum is reached.
  
• Poison damage over time is now applied to objects that Sissy poisons, except health bottles. They would continue to be affected as they are currently.
  
• Sissy will now get a notification and a red noise/damage highlight like she does for Toxic Cloud when Victims interact with a poisoned object. Poisoned Health bottles would be the exception. Their notification would trigger after use.
  
• Rank 3 Bane Talent: Poison Pickup Locations also allows the poison damage over time effect to stack to its 3 maximum if a poisoned tool box or bone pile continues to be interacted with by the poisoned Victim, and once a tool box or bone pile is poisoned it remains poisoned for the duration of the match.
  
• Rank 3 Bane Talent: Poison Generators now also allows the poison damage over time effect to stack to its 3 maximum if a poisoned battery or generator continues to be interacted with by the poisoned Victim, and extends the time it takes for the Victim to shut off the battery or generator. Once a battery or generator is poisoned it remains poisoned for the duration of the match.
  
• Victims can no longer see if an item or objective is poisoned without the appropriate perks.
  

- Reasoning -
The objective was to make Sissy’s poison something to be concerned about when dealing with her, instead of just a minor inconvenience, and to allow Bane’s Poison Pickup Locations and Poison Generators to be beneficial choices that expand Sissy’s capability.
Currently Bane’s Poison Pickup Locations and Poison Generators isn’t picked because the poison does no damage, gives no notification, and toolboxes, bone scraps, the battery, and the generator can only be poisoned once and can’t be poisoned again for the rest of the match. Poison Generators also has the issue of the poison not going off until after the Victim has already deactivated the battery or generator, which by then is already too late to provide benefit or deterrent.
When it comes to changing Victims being able to see poisoned objects, it should be a concern for Victims that the object they’re about to interact with might be poisoned when Sissy is in the match. Being able to see if something is poisoned by default with no perks completely removes that.
~Special Blend Updates~

• Special Blend now has 1 charge of poison on hit at Rank 1, 2 at Rank 2, and 3 at Rank 3.
  
• Poison on hit charges can only be refreshed via Poison Cloud after Special Blend’s duration has ended.
  
• Poison on hit still prevents sprinting for 2/4/6 seconds (depending on Bane Talent: Increase Poison Duration). Only one instance of non-sprint poison can be on a Victim at a time and the previous application must complete its duration before another can be applied.
  
• Poison on hit now applies poison damage over time for Sissy only. For other Family members who can get Special Blend, poison on hit will continue to apply non-sprint poison.
  
• Poison on hit will now apply Rubber Legs if Sissy has that perk active. Rubber Legs duration lasts for 2/4/6 seconds (depending on Bane Talent: Increase Poison Duration) and only one instance of Rubber Legs can be on a Victim at a time. The instance must complete its duration before another can be applied.
  

- Reasoning -
I wanted to give Special Blend the utility it should’ve had since the beginning. Currently, Special Blend isn’t commonly chosen because it only has 1 charge of non-sprint poison on hit and doesn’t apply Rubber Legs. The non-sprint effect only lasts for 3 seconds and it can’t be reapplied to the target Victim until almost a good ten seconds passes. The only benefit is the increase in stamina recovered while the perk is active.
Though this would make Sissy dependent on this perk if she wants to be able to poison/debuff on hit, it was the only way I could see to keep her from backsliding into the broken territory she was in at launch.

~Instant Incapacitate and Hiding Updates~

• Sissy can hide in a hiding spot as long as she wants.
  
• Sissy will not speak or sing while doing any type of hiding.
  
• Remove instant incapacitate from hiding spots.
  
• Replace instant incapacitate with Sly.
  
• Sly: Sissy gives no proximity warning to Victims while hiding, and for ten seconds after leaving any type of hiding that Sissy has been in for more than 5 seconds, Sissy moves faster while ducking and will give no proximity warning to Victims.
  

- Reasoning -
Currently instant incapacitate from hiding spots is useless. It only works if Sissy is in a hiding spot that she lays down in, and the hitbox is so small that the Victim has to stand directly next to the hiding spot that Sissy is in, and stand in a very specific spot, and not move at all for the hit to land. Even after all that, the hit sometimes still doesn’t register and sometimes it doesn’t incapacitate the Victim. It just does a big chunk of damage.
With Sly, Sissy would be able to take better advantage of her ability to hide and ambush Victims and would have more situations where she’d be able to put it to use.

~Poison Herb Table Updates~

• All Herb Tables now start with 3 herbs.
  
• Herb tables will now regenerate herbs over time up to their 3 maximum, but will only begin this process once the table is empty.
  
• Virginia’s table system is now separate from Sissy’s system and will still have the random 1-3 generation and will not regenerate over time.
  

- Reasoning -
The RNG on Herb Tables is never in Sissy’s favor. It’s always the ones on the furthest outskirts of the map that have 3 herbs, while the majority of the ones in the active patrol area carry 1 herb, with a rare one carrying 2, and a super rare one carrying 3.
Sissy and Cook are the only Family members that can run out of one of their abilities. But unlike Cook, who can fall back on his hearing and still support the team, Sissy has nothing to fall back on to support the team when she runs out of poison. Singing doesn’t count.

~Savagery and Movement Speed Update~

• Base Savagery increased to 15 from 10
  
• Base movement/sprint speed is now the same as base Hitchhiker movement/sprint speed.
  

- Reasoning -
A 10 on any stat is abysmal and requires the majority (if not all) of the player’s attribute points to bring it up to a functional level. Nothing below 15 on any stat should exist for either side at this point in the game.
Sissy is also one of the two chasers in the game with the ability to go through wall gaps and crawl spaces, but her faster than Cook but slower than Hitchhiker movement speed does not support that. As a chaser, Sissy shouldn’t have to be dependent on the Scout perk in order to bring her up to speed.
~Conclusion~
Thank you for reading if you made it this far. My objective was to allow Sissy to take full advantage of her potential as an ambusher, chaser, and poisoner.
Currently the ambusher side gets used so little people often forget Sissy can even do it. The chaser side leaves a bit to be desired with the movement speed, slow poison activation, and Poison Cloud choosing when it does and doesn’t want to go through crawlspaces, wall gaps, and barriers. And in the face of Nancy and Virginia, the poisoner side makes one forget that Sissy was the original poison master.
If I’ve gone overboard with some ideas, I’m sure you’ll all let me know. But how would Family and Victims feel with having a Sissy like this?

Finished playing MGS: Peacewalker again since it'd been a while and I was starting Phantom Pain soon. Was left with a few questions about duh lore.
So The Boss had a dream, her will, which within Cipher, Zero and Big Boss disagreed about, interpreting it differently. She wished for a united world after her experience being the first human in space, and was actively working towards that goal, using the American Philosopher's spy network to assist in her work. If that's the case, why did she face John in a duel to the death at the end of MGS3? She had her own aspirations. Why die for the sake of America? Or did she die for the sake of the American Philosopher's? Seeing them as the the best chance for a united world perhaps? Or simply because the world could not be united in nuclear war?
Considering The Boss' will was to create a united world, doesn't that make Zero's interpretation closer than Big Bosses? Zero interpreted it as the world unified under one organization, one leading force, a twisted version of the Boss' will, but closer than Big Bosses idea of a nation of soldiers free from the manipulation of governments fighting for themselves, his Outer Heaven.
Big Boss refused to tell Doctor Strangelove what really happened to The Boss, even under torture. Why? John lost all respect for governments and politicians when he learned the true nature of The Bosses mission, how much the US government used and abused her, that her reputation was sullied, and all she got in thanks was an unmarked grave. Big Boss didn't belive that she deserved everything that was done to her, so why continue to use the US party line? Why not spread the truth of what really happened during Operation Snake Eater and restore the rightful legacy of The Boss?
"The Boss Put Down Her Gun, she betrayed me..." I don't understand this part at all. How did Huey and Doctor Strangelove come to the conclusion that she "...put down her gun." when the mammal/reptile pods moved to submerge Peacewalker into the bay to stop the false nuclear attack data transmission to NORAD? Either the nuance or the Japanese symbolism of what happened go way over my head, so I cant understand it. The Boss fought to the very end, she most certainly didn't pull any punches in the final encounter with John, she died for what she believed in, she must have. Big Boss believes that a soldier should always go on fighting, keep living, no matter what, sure. But how does what the Boss decided to do count as a betrayal to John specifically? So much so that he tosses away The Boss' bandanna, which he had been wearing for years into the bay.
When Pacifica Ocean steals metal gear Zeke, she says that she's working under orders from Cipher and Zero, making the "offer" to rejoin Cipher to Big Boss, and when he refuses, attempting to launch a nuke from motherbase to frame his company and prevent PMC's from becoming a major world player, which would go against the interests of Cipher. Yet at the very end of Peacewalker Zero speaks to Kazuhira Miller by phone, and indicates that he's still interested in continuing to work with Militaires Sans Frontières, that they're more useful to him while fully operational. So why in the world did Pacifica try to frame Militaires Sans Frontières for nuclear attack when Zero still wanted to continue working with them? Zero was clearly very invested in keeping Big Boss around, considering the Les Enfants Terribles project, as well as the fact that Zero kept Big Boss safe during his coma and created his double Venom from The Medic.
In the world events scroll before the credits of Peacewalker, special attention is given to the assasination of Kazuhira Miller in his home. What's that all about? Why did that get such focus compared to the other events?

My 2001 Civic EX seems to have finally completely blown its head gasket (I hope). It’s been intermittently overheating for about a year now since I replaced the radiator (I know, dad, I know) but I can usually get the temp gauge to go down if I turn on the heat or something. Well I was driving and the gauge maxed out but wouldn’t go down this time.
Long story short, my reservoir cap blew off, covered my bay in coolant, I tried to get it home and about a mile from home my radiator cap started gushing white smoke (or steam idk). Got it towed home. It’s been sitting for a few weeks.
Finally got around to starting the head gasket project. I went to drain the oil, but when I took off the filter, the inside was essentially bone dry save for some residue inside the very bottom. I used to be a tech, and I’ve never seen that, but I’ve also never done the oil on a vehicle that had been sitting for a couple weeks.
I’ll probably be posting here over the next few weeks so please refrain from the “you should’ve known better”. I know.
Bonus question: I’m obviously also replacing my radiator, thermostat, and hoses, but in my radiator and coolant was this grainy black mush. It was only there after that final overheat. Is it broken down plastic or hose material? Is it probably in the passages in the engine? Will Batman find out about the Riddler’s secret plan?

SOMEONE PLEASE RAVE IN MY PLACE 🥹
A neuro medical condition is keeping me from being able to attend loud events of any kind, it’s been a devastating and life changing few months for me as I’ve been an avid music lover and festival goer my entire teenage and adult life. I’ve accepted that going would only mean pain and sadness for me.
Done with the sadness - SO! Wanting 2 people to be able to go in me and my partner’s place for a discount. $400 total for the 2 wristbands. Also willing to sell as singles for $200 each. PayPal Goods and Services only for payment, and any other info you might need to guarantee these will be your wristbands and yours alone. Shipping from KY via UPS so you’ll get a tracking number.
If you’re already going, tell your friends who don’t have wristbands yet! Not about getting the money back, but about giving back to our incredible community ✌️ 🫶 🤝 💕

On Saturday I went to a funeral. I was bitten on the back of my right thigh and laft calf by something but idk what. These bites were not there when I was getting ready in the morning, but we're there when I got home a few hours later. They are EXTREMELY itchy and painful. Since being bitten, I've also developed muscle aches, fatigue, headaches and swollen lymph nodes in my neck, underarms and groin. I (50F), ADHD, Osteoarthritis in lower back, hips and knees, Reflux. Current medications: Adderall XR and IR, Protonix, immatrex as needed and occasionally zyrtec for seasonal allergies. I also have an epipen for anaphylaxis to bees, penicillin, Zithromax and shellfish. Any idea what bit me, why am I having such a bad reaction and should I go see me PCP? Edit:pics in comments

25F No medical issue here, just curiosity.
Trying to go anywhere near with an electric razor results in pain, stinging and rapidly makes the area turn red.
Using a normal razor is fine though.
What does an electric razor do that a normal one doesn't, that causes irritation? (Talking about those you use for beards, with the 3 little circles.)

Here’s the story. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.
Part I
In the grand scheme of things, Jack considered himself a sensible man. Born into a family that fervently hopped from one religion to another in search of some divine truth, Jack decided early on that he was better off without picking any side. He proudly wore the badge of an agnostic, a spiritual Switzerland of sorts, always maintaining a healthy distance from commitments to any celestial beliefs.
He lived a rather ordinary life with the extraordinary policy of never betting on the unknown. Until, of course, the inevitable happened — Jack died. It was a mundane accident involving a slippery bathroom floor and an unfortunately placed rubber duck. Death, much like life, had a sense of irony.
As Jack floated away from his earthly remains, he found himself facing an immense, ornate gate. The architecture was nothing short of divine, intricate arabesques weaving through columns of blinding light. It was then he realized he was in the presence of something... or someone vastly important. This figure was shrouded in a mesmerizing light, and without the need for introductions, Jack knew he stood before the divine.
"Jack Sullivan," the voice boomed, enveloping him in a warmth he'd never felt before. "Welcome to the afterlife."
Jack blinked, adjusting to the light. "Uh, hi. So, which way to the agnostics' lounge? I assume there's a place for us fence-sitters?"
The divine presence chuckled — a sound that seemed to make the very air around them shimmer. "I’m afraid it doesn’t quite work that way. You see, Jack, the true religion was Islam."
"Oh," Jack said simply. That was unexpected. All those Sunday dinners he could have skipped debates at. "And I guess I didn’t make the cut?"
"You did not," the voice confirmed with a solemnity that made the earlier warmth seem like a distant memory.
The gates began to shift, revealing a path that spiraled downward, glowing with an eerie light. Jack squinted into the depths, where whispers and echoes promised a less-than-welcoming committee.
"Well, it is what it is," Jack shrugged, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards in a resigned smile. It wasn't the first time he'd been wrong, though admittedly, the stakes had never been quite so high.
With a nonchalant adjustment of his metaphorical collar, Jack strolled toward the path leading to Hell, his stride surprisingly steady. He pondered what the underworld might have on the menu for dinner, half-hoping they'd have something other than fire and brimstone.
As the gates behind him closed with a final, resounding clang, the story of Jack Sullivan — the eternally undecided — had reached its eternal conclusion.
And as he walked in, he couldn't help but think, "Well, at least the company’s good."
Part II
In the deepest chasms of Hell, Jack's torment transcended any known boundaries of suffering. The environment around him was a relentless engine of anguish, each element designed to amplify pain to levels inconceivable to the human mind.
The ground itself was a shifting mass of charred bones that cracked and shifted, piercing his flesh with jagged edges every time he moved. The air was a toxic plume of acidic vapors, each breath causing his internal organs to blister and bleed, his throat raw and eroding from the inside out.
Above him, the sky was an oppressive canopy of blackened fire, raining down droplets of molten iron that seared through skin and muscle, boring deep into his bones. The drops didn’t merely burn; they burrowed and nested within his marrow, spawning agony that pulsed and multiplied like a living thing.
Surrounding him were pits of darkness deeper than any ocean abyss. Into these pits, demons hurled the damned, where unseen creatures awaited, their countless appendages armed with surgical precision. They dissected their victims relentlessly, flaying skin only to graft it anew in twisted configurations, each new shape bringing fresh torrents of pain. Their work was not hurried; they savored each scream, each plea, responding with meticulous increases in their cruel artistry.
Jack's own body was a canvas of ceaseless horror. His limbs were repeatedly torn away, only to regrow misshapen and agonized, each new limb experiencing pain more intense than the last. His skin was a patchwork of burns and cuts, each healing only to be torn asunder by claws that seemed forged from the cold void of space.
His eyes, having melted away countless times, now perceived only pain, no longer organs of sight but conduits for suffering. Each nerve in his body was alive with electric agony, conducting endless symphonies of torment that no mind could endure without fracturing.
Below him, the ground opened intermittently, revealing glimpses of deeper hells. From these abysses, geysers of scalding black fluid erupted, coating him in a substance that devoured flesh like acid, leaving skeletal remains that felt every pulse of pain as if covered in raw, exposed nerve endings.
In this realm, sound itself was a weapon. The air vibrated with the screams of the damned, each cry layered upon the last until sound became a physical presence, crushing him with waves of despair so intense they threatened to obliterate what remained of his sanity.
Here, in the heart of eternal damnation, Jack endured an existence that was a relentless storm of agony, each moment an eternity, each eternity an endless depth of despair deeper and more excruciating than the last. The concept of relief was as alien as the stars above the world he once knew, each second unfolding into further unimaginable torment, forever and ever.

hey everyone, just wanted to share my (25F) positive experience with the LEEP in the hopes that i can give a little hope to anyone else who is anxious about the procedure like i was!
i wrote a previous post about being extremely anxious about this procedure - truly, the waiting for the procedure and the overthinking is the worst part of the process!
my timeline so far:
Feb 2024: got a kyleena iud placed. i was 3 years overdue for a pap smear and STI testing so the nurse practitioner did one for me before my iud placement.
March 2024: get a call saying that they found abnormal cells in my cervix (HSIL), referred me to my local womens hospital to get a colposcopy and biopsy.
April 5, 2024: did the colposcopy/biopsy/pap smear. didn't feel a thing, they booked me for a follow up pap smear in 6 months but would call me if "there's changes to my follow up plan" (aka if things get worse and need to be addressed asap).
April 23, 2024: received a call saying my follow up plan has changed as the pap smear found HSIL again and the biopsy found AIS. booked for a LEEP in 2 weeks, they didn't discuss any other treatments (eg. CKC).
today, may 8: leep day! im on day 3 of my period with a moderate flow (i fill up just under half of my diva cup) but the nurse assured me that the procedure could still be done while on my period.
they recommended i take out all of my jewelry beforehand. i took out all of my earrings but i forgot to take off my watch during the procedure (oops), im completely fine tho. it started off with a talk with the nurse, going over my medical history, the results of my colposcopy, then about the procedure itself. it was actually this time when i found out i had SMILE. the nurse told me there were two types of precancers: one where the precancerous cells grow in different spots in the cervix and the other is when the precancerous cells are deeper within the tissue glands. i have the latter which makes it harder for the LEEP to "catch" all of the precancerous cells. as we do not know where they exactly are in my cervix due to it being deep inside my tissues, so there is a chance of reoccurrence and the only way to fully prevent this is with a hysterectomy. it was a little disheartening to hear this but since im young and still want to have kids we will just monitor more closely until im done having kids. i've always told people that at the end of the day, if it came down to it i would not want children. however I feel like this process has almost forced me to think about that, and made me realize that I do still want the option to have kids.
overall, the procedure itself actually wasn't painful at all for me. the absolute worst part was feeling the needle going in for my general anesthesia but it quickly passed once the anesthesia hit. i had anesthesia that had adrenaline in it (lidocaine) - it hit me pretty quickly. i immediately had ringing in my ears (went away almost immediately), my legs were shaky, and i was SUPER dizzy. the nurse told me beforehand that that was all normal. fun fact the nurse told me: typically at the dentist when you get a filling, they give you ~2ml of lidocaine. for this procedure i had 10ml of lidocaine! i remember i kept blinking a lot and taking really fast but deep breaths. my boyfriend came with me and he said i looked like i was tweaking lol. the dizziness lasted the whole procedure, i almost felt like i was really, really drunk.
while the doctor was doing the procedure, the nurse put a cold patch on my leg, let me hold her hand while the needle was going in, and gave me a cold towel to put on my forehead which i really appreciated. the device was loud but not to the point where i was overstimulated. i still have my kyleena iud in and the doctor said that the procedure could be done, however she might have to cut my strings. at the end she said my strings "popped out" so no cutting was required.
they cut off ~1cm from my cervix, so im at a higher risk for a premature labour at 32-36 weeks rather than at 40 weeks but the nurse assured me that there have been women in similar situations to me that have carried to term, and an OB would closely monitor me for this if i do get pregnant.
im not sure if i have a high pain tolerance or something but i really didn't feel any pain or cramping at all. i took 2 ibuprofens before as well as my anti-anxiety medication (sertraline 50mg) so i don't know if that made a difference as well. i took the same amount of ibuprofen for my colposcopy/biopsy and it literally just felt like a pap smear. i had med school resident performing my colposcopy/biopsy so in my head i was like, did you even do anything?? lol.
after the procedure i was still dizzy so they gave me juice and crackers to get my sugar up. then i left and went home. 6 hours later, i still feel a little loopy/tired and my legs feel restless.
all in all, i'm thankful i got my IUD, even if it lead me down this stressful, crazy process.. i literally got it on a whim as i hadn't had any form of birth control in like 3 years and I'm terrible at taking pills regularly. i know that my lazy self would have never gotten my follow up pap smear and who knows what it could have turned into. i guess it's just stressful knowing that i might have to do this all over again, or ill need a hysterectomy sooner than i think, or that it might be worse than i think and ill have to be referred to an oncologist. also the SMILE diagnosis scares me. i haven't seen a lot of talks on this subreddit and what i've found is that it is rare and i might supposedly be at more risk for lung related complications. can anyone relate/provide some hope?
im supposed to get my leep results in 3-6 weeks, wish me luck! thanks for reading my rant, for anyone who made it this far.

Hi! I came to this sub once I started down this rabbit hole and wanted to share my story in case it helps anyone.
I turned 40 and got on doing all of the adult things (aka colonoscopy and mammogram). I called on a Monday and by some miracle got in for a 3D mammogram on a Friday. It was noted that my breasts are "extremely dense" and that I'm at a "high risk" for lifetime breast cancer. (Paternal Aunt with breast cancer in her 70s, but lots of other cancers in the family). My mammogram noted the following: "There is a 1.2 cm focal asymmetry in the right breast at 9:00 posteriorly, incompletely imaged on the CC projection."
They set me up for a second mammogram and ultrasound 25 days later. Interestingly, the second mammogram did NOT identify the focal asymmetry, but it was there on the ultrasound - "An 11 mm hypoechoic irregular mass in the right lower outer quadrant is classified as suspicious of malignancy, with ultrasound-guided core biopsy recommended." Got a BIRADS4 (no sub) and LOST IT (lots of tears) in the radiologists office. She said they were "very worried" about it.
They moved some things around and got me in for a biopsy in 6 days. Those were the absolute most anxious 6 days of my entire life.
The biopsy itself was not bad. I've definitely had dental procedures that were more uncomfortable. I pushed the radiologist at the end of my appointment and asked her how worried should I be. She said on a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being "Don't worry about it!" to "Get your affairs in order," she said it was a 4 or 5. I explained that I have a three year old and she said that if it was anything, that it was early, stage 1 and it would "be a pain in your ass" for a few months, but they weren't talking about life expectancy limitations or anything like that. She reported that stage 1s are something like 90% "cured" and another 8% is elderly women with co-morbidities.
Interestingly, I was more calm after the biopsy, knowing that what was done was done.
I got the call today and had a good conversation with her. She started the conversation with, "You're fine." Pathology came back with "Final pathology demonstrates nodular sclerosing adenosis. No atypia or malignancy identified. The histologic findings are felt to be concordant with the imaging findings." It is some sort of hormonal change associated with scar-like tissue that forms in the glands that produce milk. (Another souvenir from breastfeeding, I suppose.) I'm now on a track for alternating MRIs and mammograms every 6 months, starting in about 3 months. She explained that they have to let the "micro trauma" from the biopsy settle before they do the MRI, so I don't pop false positives and I have to be very mindful of scheduling it at a certain time during my menstrual cycle to accommodate for the hormones.
The biggest thing I am taking away from this experience is that our medical system needs to do a better job of helping people manage anxiety associated with medical scans and screenings.
I hope my story helps someone find a little bit of calm in everything. And go get your colonoscopy, too!

I just witnessed another great episode. Kudos!!!

Have you ever heard of 'The Mirror Game'?
Picture this, tucked away in the dark corners of online forums and whispered conversations, there’s a story that sends chills down the spines of those who hear it. It's the legend of the Mirror Game, a spine-tingling ritual that folks talk about in hushed tones, claiming they've come face-to-face with its dark mysteries.
So, here’s the problem, the Mirror Game ain’t no walk in the park. It all kicks off innocently enough with a regular ol’ mirror, but what follows is anything but ordinary. If you’re brave (or foolish) enough to give it a shot, you’ll need four sleeping pills apparently, they’re key to the weird stuff that happens next.
Once you’re all set, it’s time to dive in. You start by whispering some ancient words, the kind that make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. They say these words wake up the mirror version of you, bringing it to life in a seriously spooky way.
At first, it’s subtle a flicker here, a shadow there. But as the game goes on, things start to get real creepy. The reflection in the mirror starts acting like it’s got a mind of its own, giving you these bone-chilling smiles and gestures that feel way too real.
But hold onto a crucifix, because the Mirror Game isn’t all fun and games. The deeper you get, the scarier it gets. Some say the thing in the mirror starts getting downright nasty, like it’s trying to trap you in its world. And let me tell you, the folks who’ve been there and back? They’ve got stories that’ll make your hair stand on end.
If you’re smart, you’ll steer clear of this one. But if you’re feeling brave, just remember: once you’re in, it’s tough to get out. And even if you do manage to escape, you’ll never look at a mirror the same way again.
Here is one story of a teenager who played the mirror game, yes it's real and it's not very popular yet, but it can be proven it you play it yourself but I beg you don't do it, I'm not gonna explain all the steps for people's safety, but I'll mention a little.
In the shadows of an old church, hidden away in a forgotten storage room, a teenage boy stumbled upon an ancient tome that would change his life forever. The weathered pages were adorned with strange symbols and cryptic writings, most of which were in a language he couldn't decipher. But amidst the Latin passages, he found one page written in English - a page that would lead him down a path of darkness and despair.
It was February 20th, 1967, when the boy and his three friends gathered in his attic, drawn together by the promise of forbidden knowledge. With trembling hands, he recited the incantation from the book, each word sending shivers down his spine. As the final syllable fell from his lips, a hushed silence enveloped the room, broken only by the faint sound of his racing heart.
Following the instructions laid out in the ancient tome, they positioned two mirrors opposite each other, their reflective surfaces poised to capture the unseen. With bated breath, they waited, watching for any sign of movement in the mirrored images that surrounded them.
And then it happened a subtle shift, a barely perceptible movement that sent a chill coursing through their veins. One of the reflections moved, its head tilting ever so slightly in response to the boy's invocation. In that moment, the air grew heavy with an otherworldly presence, and the boy knew that they had awoken something beyond their understanding.
What followed was a descent into madness, a nightmare from which there was no waking. The once bright-eyed teenager became consumed by darkness, haunted by visions that tore at his sanity. His friends, too, were not spared from the horrors unleashed by their reckless curiosity.
In the end, the boy's mind could no longer bear the weight of the secrets he had unearthed. In a moment of desperation and despair, he took his own life, leaving behind only a journal detailing the horrors he had witnessed and a warning to those who dared to follow in his footsteps.
And so, the tale of the Mirror Game became a cautionary legend, whispered about in hushed tones by those who knew of its dangers. For in the shadows of the unknown, there are forces beyond our comprehension - forces that should never be disturbed.
The point of the game is to try and survive until it becomes less hostile and turn back to normal, and that's how you know you survived, sometimes it can trick you into thinking it's back to normal to get you to let your guard down it's a very dangerous game, and they do have the power to switch places with you, but I can't help but wonder how many others felt victim to this.
The only way you'll know, if you see how they are acting, you'll know, you'll know because they're not acting like themselves, perhaps if you play close attention you'll see they are imposters.
Here is some Google search results about the mirrors.
What happens when you stare at yourself in the mirror for too long?
In normal observers, gazing at one's own face in the mirror for a few minutes, at a low illumination level, produces the apparition of strange faces. Observers see distortions of their own faces, but they often see hallucinations like monsters, archetypical faces, faces of relatives and deceased, and animals.
Why shouldn't you sleep with a mirror next to you?
In normal observers, gazing at one's own face in the mirror for a few minutes, at a low illumination level, produces the apparition of strange faces. Observers see distortions of their own faces, but they often see hallucinations like monsters, archetypical faces, faces of relatives and deceased, and animals.
What is catoptrophobia?
Someone with catoptrophobia will have an abnormal and irrational fear of mirrors that results in fear, anxiety, panic and distress if they see a mirror or think about seeing a mirror. Negative thoughts and feelings are likely to be further exacerbated if they see their own reflection in the mirror.
there is a psychological phenomenon called "mirror movement illusion" or "mirror touch synesthesia" where individuals perceive their mirror reflection as not moving in sync with their own movements. This can occur in conditions such as mirror-touch synesthesia, where individuals experience a merging of visual and tactile sensations, leading them to feel the sensations observed in others, including their own mirror image.
All these things are what I explained in the story, they try and tell people they are crazy and have a mental disorder, but that's not the case, when you hear about strange things in the mirror, or odd mirror movements like your reflection not acting right. or recordings of it, that's the thing I'm warning you about, do not play games with it, and don't try to communicate with it, because the second you do any of that, it's all over.
And if it's too late for you, the best thing I can tell you is to stay away from anything that is reflective, do not fall asleep near anything that is reflective, cover anything reflective if you can, it could switch places with you, and you could be trapped, I don't know how to reverse it, the best thing I can tell you is to stay away from the mirror game, do not tempt the creature in the mirror.
the entity in the mirror is very self aware of you, and I promise you, you do not wanna play the mirror game, do not try to trick your reflection to make your reflection to act unnaturally in the mirror, do not try to trick your reflection to messing up it will harm you, this is my warning share this warning with everyone you love, family friends cousin's Brothers anyone, or if you feel like your loved one is in danger, or you saw your reflection not acting how it should, cover your mirrors do not sleep near any mirrors do not go anywhere that has reflections, (DO NOT) play the mirror game, at any circumstances.

Corporal Shao Lin jogged along the trail at a steady pace. He’d run this route so often he could run it on autopilot. And as always, he thought of his fallen buddies. Pvt. Lee with his goofy smile, Pvt. Gonzalez always telling bad jokes to amuse the squad, Pvt. Tarn and that damn mustache he was always grooming, and his long time buddy, Sgt. Peake, who’d given him the nickname ‘Monk’ when they were still in basic. It used to annoy him but after seeing the nicknames he hung on other Marines, it could have been worse.
And he got his revenge by making Abu stick as his nickname. They’d been battle buddies in Recon for almost 6 years and been to hell and back for each other.
And now they are all gone. Their transport had rolled over a mine that he missed while walking point. Or at least that is how it was in his head, that he missed the mine and he killed them.
Reality was there was nothing he could do.The new Gax'ix mines were practically undetectable without probing for them. By the time the lab rats figured out a method to detect them, it was too late for his buddies.
The guilt was unbearable and got him sent back for rest and therapy. He spent 6 months there but they didn’t want to release him straight back to combat. But he was going stir crazy and convinced to let him do the equivalent of light duty by assigning him to a 3 man listening post on Tango III’s 4th moon. Normally a job for Navy techs, his company commander had pulled some strings to get him transferred there. And the 2 Navy techs were happy to have him. While atmosphere and weather were close enough to Earth norm that eva suits weren’t needed when leaving the bunker, it was still a dangerous place.
It was like Australia on steroids. Nasty insects, some so small you didn’t know they were there until they bit. And it hurt like hell, but it wasn’t fatal. Now those damn wasp-like things were.
There were plants that were not only poisonous to the touch or if dumb enough to ingest them, some of the damn things were carnivorous and big enough to consume fauna bigger than him.
There was even a tree-like flora, the Ginka, that had tendrils tipped with thorns that delivered a neurotoxin that would take down the rhino-like Vogroks. If that wasn’t bad enough, the damn things would wrap around anything that brushed one of those tendrils like an Earth anaconda.
And you could count on one hand the number of non-hostile fauna on the moon. They could still mess you up, they just didn’t go out of their way to do so. Like Hippos on Earth or Buffalo. The bodies of water were even worse with several ambush predators lurking in them.
He was pretty sure some of the squirrel sized Cleame would kill you if they could.
Needless to say, the techs were happy to have someone to help keep them at bay and Cpl. Shao was having the time of his life exploring the area. It was like the bush training they did in the Outback.
All the nasty flora and fauna just made it more fun. Except for the Rocs, those big flying bastards could ruin your day in a hurry. He wasn’t sure if his combat armor was even strong enough to protect against those talons, let alone the teeth and bite force of the maw.
Luckily, they preferred to hunt far larger prey to eat. Even the ground wanted to kill you. There was a particularly nasty creature under the sand like an oversized terran trapdoor spider. He got lucky in his first encounter with them, a Vogrok had wandered into range and was effortlessly taken down by one. But sticking to the nearby trees avoided them entirely.
Areas that looked like mud could slowly drag you down until nothing was left to be seen.He wasn’t sure but he guessed there was something at the bottom doing that. But this morning he was just out for a simple run and ran with minimal protection. Just his tough but light fatigues, chest harness carrying his radio, knife, fire starter, some water and a couple of protein bars. And of course, a couple of packers of TP. There was no way in hell he was going to tempt fate by using leaves around here. And his sidearm, loaded with inferno rounds. The incendiary rounds worked quite well against the nasty foliage around here.
He wasn’t sure what it was that did it but something brought him back from the past.. There were things your body subconsciously picked up that warned of danger but never what it was.
Training and combat taught him to stop and listen when that happened. He ducked behind a rock and tried to get his bearings. After a moment of thinking, he confirmed he wasn’t in a spot that contained any dangerous plants or animals.
He began to move cautiously but at an increased pace to a vantage point with a good view of the entire valley the compound sat in. As he crawled to the edge, he saw what had gotten his attention. A small Ruken assault shuttle had landed just outside the base. His mind automatically ran through the specs for it.
Crew of 2, able to carry 25 combat-ready Ruken or 100 tons of cargo. Limited range which meant a warship in orbit or nearby. 2 pulse cannons forward facing and a turret on the top with a single pulse cannon that had full movement to cover anything above the top of the shuttle.
He then scanned the compound and muttered under his breath when he saw the Ruken inside it and saw them inspecting the several outbuildings. The door to the comms center was also open and 4 Ruken were carrying out the bodies of his two comrades. They were also hauling gear to the shuttle.
After a quick count, it looked like the shuttle had its full complement of troopers. 25 Ruken troopers in combat dress and all he had was his sidearm and a knife. Hopefully one of the techs had locked the system down before they broke in. They wouldn’t be able to just transfer the stored data up to the warship. The Ruken were a reptilian-like bipedal alien with a pair of muscular legs below a torso covered in a thick hide along the back and sides but much thinner along the front. They had 2 unremarkable arms and a head almost human like in appearance, if you ignored the 2 tusks sticking out from their lower jaw.
.
He still had a chance to prevent them from just taking up the equipment and accessing it that way. First things first, the communication system uplink needed to be cut off and taking out the transmitting tower was the best way. Fortunately it was just over a km away and he was able to reach it and wreck it within less than 20 minutes. But not before getting a coded message in morse code sent out.
Next was the shuttle but he needed a distraction if he was going to get to it unseen. As he snuck down the sides of the valley, he saw something that gave him a great idea. He picked several pieces of a type of berry as he went.
Once he was in sight of the perimeter, he cut a pair of fronds from a bush and put the berries between the fronds. He then used the butt of his knife to smash them into a paste. After they were crushed, he added a little dirt and mixed it together into a kind of paste.
He cut some leaves from another plant and trimmed them to his liking. Looking around, he found a dozen or so marble sized peebles. He also found a nearly perfect Y-shaped branch and small stick. Careful not to get any on himself, he dropped a pebble into the mixture, rolled it until it was covered in the mix and wrapped them in the small leaves. He did the same with all of them and put the finished pieces in another frond he’d rolled into a funnel. He rolled up the fronds with the last of the mixture. He moved as close to the open ground around the fence as he could. Taking one of the wrapped pebbles, he put it in the pouchlike leaf he’d strung between the arms of the Y-shaped branch. Like the Wish version of a lacrosse stick. Working his way around the perimeter, he randomly launched the pebbles into the compound. The leaves breaking open from the impact and spilling the goop covered pebbles out. Once he made his way around the entire perimeter and launched all the pebbles as he went, he snuck to the shuttle.
Hiding behind a large tree, he let out an imitation of the noise made by the 4 armed, monkey-like Jaquri. The cry echoed through the trees as multiple Jaquri responded to it. It wasn’t long before they caught the smell of the berry paste. The berries were one of their favorites and they would go ape-shit over them.
Before long dozens of them descended on the compound and turned it a chaotic free for all. They fought with each other over the paste covered pebbles and when a few Ruken made the mistake of getting too close, they thought they were coming for the treat and attacked them.
One of them made the mistake of shooting one. The cries made by the wounded Jaquri stopped their squabbling over the treats and focused on the threat. Ruken were swarmed over by angry Jaquri and every Ruken that shot at them, just brought them to the attention of the now extremely pissed off Jaquri.
Chuckling to himself, he snuck over to the shuttle and crept up on the lone pilot watching the chaos. Taking his knife, he stuck it into a vulnerable spot of the pilot and dropped him without a sound.
Dragging him into the shuttle, he went to the cockpit, smashed the controls and then smashed the databases from the listening post. He then took the rolled up fronds and smeared what was left of the paste all over the shuttle interior. Dropping the fronds on the shuttle ramp, he ran for the tree-line and climbed a particularly tall tree to watch the fun.
It only took a few minutes before a newly arriving Jaquri caught a whiff of concoction inside the shuttle. He smiled as he listened to it, smashing things as it tried to get to all of the mixture. It was doing a far better job of wrecking the shuttle beyond repair than he had time for. He’d only had time to disable it but they could do a work around eventually.
The Ruken had retreated into the comms center and shut the door. Over a dozen Jaquri and 2 Ruken were dead. The Ruken’s hide was enough to keep the Jaquri from doing more than roughing them up. The 2 dead Ruken made the mistake of having their helmets off.
Chuckling to himself, he thought about what to do next. He couldn’t just assault the compound, even in full body armor and his assault rifle, it was suicide. He had to break them into smaller groups first.
He took the opportunity to build some traps while the Ruken were still forted up. Nothing lethal, just enough to piss them off. He then laid a few false trails in different directions, built a fire on the opposite side of the base and then returned to his vantage point.
He mentally prepared himself then fired a pair of shots in the air. Ducking down, he watched the Ruken carefully check the area for the Jaquri. They’d already left after consuming all the berry mix they could find.
They fanned out and checked the compound. A couple checked to find those 2 Ruken were dead. Another found out what happened to the shuttle and the pilot. His yell brought their leader out to inspect the damage. A few others found his traps the hard way. One stepped in a hole just deep enough to trap the foot and leave the ankle free. As the Ruken fell, it snapped the bone of the lower leg. He screamed in pain and led several other Ruken to run into the trip wires he set. He could hear them cussing all the way up to his spot. That is when the leader realized all the damage wasn’t from the Jaquri, and began shooting orders to his men. They began purposefully searching the compound and found several more of his little surprises. Another found his false trail and called the leader over. He sent 6 of them to follow it. At that point his fire put up enough smoke to be visible above the treeline. He sent another 6 that direction. He had an evil grin at the thought of just what they would find when they got there. After that he began sending them out in pairs to search the area. 4 pairs walked in different directions and disappeared in the jungle. Another pair looked to be heading for the comms tower and the leader remained in the compound with a soldier and the remaining pilot.
Cpl.Shao guessed the Ruken leader would send someone to the tower. After all, the shuttle’s comms were wrecked beyond repair and they’d broken down the listening post’s transmitting equipment, which he also wrecked inside the shuttle.
He quickly but stealthily made his way to the tower. Knowing where he was going let him get into place before the Ruken found the way up to the tower. He hid behind a rock pile and watched. One of them started to inspect the tower while the other kept watch. It wasn’t long before the one on watch moved off towards a copse of trees just behind the rock pile Cpl. Shao was hiding in.
He slowly drew his knife, making sure to make no noise as he did. Waiting until the Ruken was looking the other way, he tossed a small rock into the brush. The Ruken immediately turned and took cover on the other side of the rock pile Cpl. Shao was in.
Cpl.Shao slowed his breathing and waited. In a moment, the Ruken raised his head above the top and intently scanned the tree line. He didn’t have time to make a noise before Shao drove his knife up into the bottom of his jaw and into his brain. Shao then grabbed the harness and yanked the dying Ruken onto his side. He slit its throat to be sure and searched the body.
All he found was a grenade, a knife and some synthetic cord about 10m long. He thought about taking the rifle but decided it was too bulky. Peaking over the rocks, he saw the other Ruken didn’t see a thing. He crept up until he was a couple of strides away. In one quick rush, he rammed into the back of the Ruken, knocking him into the solid metal of the tower. Before he could recover, Shao drove his knife into its throat and cut off any chance of a shout. The Ruken still had enough life in him to push backwards and push Shao backwards. It tried to take a step but fell on its face. Just to be safe, Shao inserted his knife to scramble its brains.
He took the same thing from the body as before and made sure the Ruken hadn’t figured out how to repair his sabotage.
He was making his way through the jungle to get ahead of one of the pair searching the jungle.
He chuckled when he heard the screams and sounds of weapons fire from near the fire he built. He wondered how many were close enough to the water for the one of the nasty things lurking there to grab them.
He’d built his fire on a little raft and pushed it right to the edge of the water. He was glad it wasn’t enough to cause an attack when he did. He’d hate to have to build it again.
He finally found the first pair of Ruken after 15 minutes of searching and checked the map inside his head to figure out where he was. He got ahead of them and found just what he needed. He looked around until he found just what he wanted. Hiding behind a downed log, he began to strike it with the butt of his knife in a rhythmic manner. Trying to get their attention and he was rewarded a few minutes later.
They were making their way towards him but not quite where he wanted them. So he took a branch from the ground and hurled it off to the side. The sound it made when it hit a bush drew their attention and they turned that way. He let them take about a dozen steps before rising up and threw 3 of the stones he’d picked up earlier. 2 of the 3 struck the tree he’d been aiming for.
The Ruken were close enough to draw the attention of a horde of the extremely pissed-off wasp-like things. The Ruken made the mistake of flailing around at them instead of running.
That just made more of them even more agitated and became the focus of the entire hive.
With their thick hides on the back and sides, they could have made a run for it with little damage. But standing still let the horde find vulnerable spots to sting them in and before long their venom began taking effect. He could tell by the way the Ruken began to stagger around before collapsing to the ground. He watched until they stopped moving, either dead or dying before sneaking off as quietly as possible. Last thing he wanted was those wasp things noticing him.
Once he was clear, he headed out to stalk the next group. He found them climbing the side of a hill but the route they were on was slow going. Once again he cut through the jungle and got ahead of them. As he got close to the top, he realized exactly where he was and almost turned back.
“The hell with it” he muttered to himself and slowly crawled to a spot that let him see the top of the hill. Just as he thought, nestled atop a nearby stone ledge was a very large nest. Even better, it was occupied by several hatchlings with 2 heads on long necks.
He crouched in the brush and watched Ruken reach the bare top of the hill. They heard the sound of the chicks and spoke to each other for a moment. They spread out and made their way to the cliff face.
He smiled thinking they were going to find out they made a very big mistake by approaching the nest. One of the hatchlings noticed the Ruken and let out a loud cry. It was answered a few moments later by a piercing cry from outside the valley. And each time that it was repeated, it was closer. At the last one, he ducked under a bush and tried to stay as motionless as possible.
A massive shadow passed over him and he thought his eardrums would explode from the shriek it let out seeing intruders by its nest. They raised their weapons and fired but the Roc’s hide was too tough. It landed close enough for one head to dart forward and grab a Ruken in its jaws. The other head then grabbed the lower half of the Ruken and they pulled him in half.
The other Ruken began to backpedal and continue firing but the Roc just thrust out a wing. The Ruken went flying over the edge of the hill upon impact.
Shao waited until the Roc focused on feeding the unlucky Ruken to its hatchlings before sneaking down the hill. He was about halfway down before he began to make his way to the side the other Ruken had been knocked off. He found him ¾ of the way down, smashed against a large tree and obviously dead by the unnatural angle of his neck and head.
He took the knife and grenade from the body but it didn’t have the cord. He was just about to move on when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. It was the 3rd patrol and they had somehow made their way into the area of this patrol.
After a closer look he understood, they were following an animal trail and it worked its way near here. He scanned the trail ahead and smiled. He thought he’d find one close to it.
Judging the distance and figuring out how long it would take them to reach the spot he wanted, he could just make it. Picking up the Ruken’s body, he shouldered it and made his way downhill at an angle to get ahead of them.
He was beat when he got there but he’d made it in time. He went to a spot on the trail on the other side of a large tree with dangling vines. He set the body down and posed it on the trail. He then moved behind a large rock and watched.
The 2 Ruken came around the bend in the trail and saw the body. They began to make their way towards but suddenly stopped. After conversing for a minute they moved at a much more cautious pace. It became obvious they were looking for an ambush but they didn’t know what to look for.
Shao had that evil grin on his face as the Ruken began to walk under the Ginka tree. The one in front brushed against a tendril and it instantly wrapped around him. As it struggled, the tendril tightened its grip and began to lift him off the ground. The other Ruken pulled out his knife and rushed to help his friend, only to find himself entangled too.
Shao just hoped for their sake that the neurotoxin killed them before the plant began to consume them. He watched for a moment as more and more tendrils wrapped around them and lifted them into the upper parts of the tree. Grabbing the helmet off the corpse and tying it to his harness, he went to stalk that last patrol.
It was over an hour before he caught up to them. And another 10 to circle around a patch of that mud. He gently tossed the helmet into the middle of the mud patch. Luckily it was too light to start sinking right away.
He hoped they hadn’t gotten too far ahead, as he let out a yell, waited a moment and did it again. By the approaching sound, they were just heedlessly crashing through the jungle.
He watched from a spot in the branches of a nearby tree. They stopped at the opening and looked around. They noticed the helmet and spread out to the sides before they crept out onto the mud. They only made it a few steps before they started to sink.
They struggled to walk out but that just made them sink faster. Shao watched until they’d sunk to their chest before making sure they saw him walk away. That was for the techs.
He began making his way towards where he’d lit the fire, to see if any escaped. He practically ran into them as they were coming up the trail. But he took cover before they saw him. And they were a little distracted anyways. Two Ruken were carrying a 3rd between them. It was missing a leg, barely having escaped becoming lunch along with his leg. All 3 looked worn and frightened from their encounter with the water’s residents.
Thinking fast, Shao ran up the trail until he found what he wanted. A thick tree that forked about chest height. It took a bit to find the long and flexible pole he wanted. He trimmed the pole and jammed it into the notch of the tree, pounding it tight with a rock and then jamming another rock to keep it in place. Taking some of the cord, he secured the pole where it stuck out the front and back.
He pulled back on the pole and it bent back perfectly. He then took the 3 knives he collected and fixed them to the pole with more cord. If his calculations were right, they were spaced just right. He affixed one of the longer cords towards the end of the pole, making sure it would hold and carefully pulled the pole back until it was perpendicular to the road. He then secured the other end to a thick tree trunk and inspected his trap. A little dirt and leaves helped conceal the cord wrapped around a tree.
It was roughly 15 minutes later when he heard them staggering up the road. He stood as motionless as possible until they reached the spot he wanted. He took his knife and sliced the cord around the tree he was standing behind.
The branch whipped forward and drove the knives into their chest to the hilts. Shao ran forward and finished them off. He took knives from 2 of them. The one in the middle didn’t have one, probably left behind in his escape. None of them had grenades either.
Thinking back, he counted his kills and determined there were at least 9 left. 3 at base and the 6 that had set out to follow his trail. He set off at a comfortable pace to hopefully catch them looking for him and not holed up in the base. He skirted the base and reached the spot he laid down the false trail.
Tracking 6 Ruken was pretty easy and he caught up to them in no time. He looked at that mental map and found just the right place to engage them. He went deeper into the jungle and passed them before returning to the “trail” ( the canopy was thick enough to prevent the growth of most flora under them.) Shao started leaving an obvious trail and veered off into the jungle until he came to another animal trail. He made an obvious turn to run the trail until he reached the area he was looking for. The trail forked with one leading to water and the other deeper into the jungle. As he got closer, he began to get a scent of rotting meat. Just the thing for luring predators into a trap. He reached the sandy area after several minutes and this time he slowed down and laid a really obvious sign that he turned to the right and ran into the jungle again.. Staying way back, he circled around the edge until finding the spot he was looking for.
He really hoped the creatures hadn’t relocated themselves or his safe path was worthless. He took a moment to catch his breath before backing up and sprinting over the sand to the rock wall on the other side.
He looked back and saw some rippling as some of the creatures stirred but nothing else. He climbed up the rock wall and rolled onto the top to catch his breath again. After a few moments, he got up and moved some rocks to form a spot to hide behind. He went back and cut several bushes out of the ground and dragged them back to the pile. He checked each out and used the best one to help conceal his position.
He took the other bushes and placed them along the top at random distances so it looked like several other bushes were growing along the top of the rock wall. Hopefully it kept his blind from sticking out.
Once everything was ready, he took a grenade, primed it and hurled it over the sandy area to land in the jungle. The explosion echoed through the air and sent up a small puff of smoke.
He then settled down to wait. After 20 minutes, he was starting to give up hope that they’d found his trail. But he began to catch just a slight noise of someone or something trying to move quietly through the jungle.
He saw the first Ruken scouting ahead and then turning to wave the others on. Once they caught up it looked down and Shao smiled at seeing them follow his trail.
The Ruken on point was almost to the spot he’d crossed the sand. It was time to bait the trap. Shao drew his sidearm and in one smooth motion, he stood up and fired a shot at the pointman. The bullet hit the tree next to the pointman with the next 3 shots missing as well. Or at least the pointman would think they’d missed. He hit each of the 4 targets he aimed at.
He wanted them to think he was a lousy shot and they had little to worry about. At the pointman’s signal, the other 5 spread out and began to cross the sandy spot.
It didn’t take long for them to stumble into the range of the things hiding under the ground. Sand sprayed up as the creatures burst up from their sandy lairs and began dragging the screaming Ruken down with them.
2 of them stood at the edge of the sandy area, shocked by what they saw. He rose up again and put 2 shots into both of them. This time he took the long way around the sand to reach the Ruken he shot. They were a mess with large holes in their chest that were cauterized by the heat of the inferno rounds in his sidearm. He still moved with caution as he approached them and put a bullet in their heads to be sure. Searching the bodies, he took the knives and grenades but left everything else.
Only 3 left to eliminate but he hadn’t come up with a plan yet. Being inside the compound, he couldn’t exactly lure them into one of the dangerous areas in the jungle. As tired as he was, he had to jog back to base if he wanted to be back before dark. He really didn’t want to still be in the jungle when that happened. That’s when it became really dangerous.
He reached the compound just before the local sun dipped below the horizon. He followed the fenceline until he came to the gate, hidden behind a storehouse. Once inside he took the time to drink some water and eat a protein bar. He saw there was a light inside the shuttle. Were they trying to repair something?
He was about to step out when he heard the sound of someone walking the perimeter. It was the last Ruken soldier, which meant the leader and the copilot were either in the shuttle or in the comms bunker. He sat and watched the guard make his slow way around the perimeter twice before opening the door. Sticking to the shadows, he stalked the guard until reaching a good hiding spot.
Then he waited for the guard to walk the perimeter again. He waited until the guard had passed his spot before leaping out, pulling the guard's head back and slitting its throat. It grasped at the slit in his throat for a moment before slumping down.
Shao crept over to the shuttle ramp and made his way inside. The co pilot was trying to jury rig the shuttles comm system.
After a quick peek towards the comms building, he took one of the grenades, armed it and set it just inside the shuttle’s hatch. He then sprinted behind a stack of boxes that provided cover from anyone leaving the comms building or the shuttle.
He hoped their grenades weren’t the type that only exploded on contact. Just as the thought crossed his mind, a spectacular explosion blew out the cockpit window and set the shuttle interior a flame.
The door to the comms building slammed open as the leader ran out and towards the shuttle. It stopped in disbelief and that is when Shao fired 3 shots at the leader. It had impressive reflexes, diving for the ground at the sound of the discharge but not fast enough. He took 2 in the side but still had some fight in him. He struggled to get up and draw a weapon at the same time.
Shao sprinted over and kicked it in the face and then kicked it over onto its back. He raised his sidearm and put 2 in the chest and one in its head.
He scanned the compound and slowly made his way to the open door of the comms shack. He peeked around the corner and made sure it was empty. He mentally added up his kills and determined he got them all.
He slumped down against a wall and promptly fell asleep. He was exhausted and no longer had adrenaline pumping through his veins to keep him up.
It was light out when he was awakened by a sound. After a moment, he recognized it as the sound of thrusters from a descending shuttle. But he couldn’t make out if it was more Ruken or his message got through and the cavalry was here. He gave a big sigh and staggered up. Checking his sidearm and reloading it, he moved to the door. “Only one way to find out,” he said to himself and stepped through the doorway.
I hope you enjoy this story. It turned out much longer than I planned.
https://ko-fi.com/tomcarey in case anyone is feeling generous.

It's been a month since my ex ended things and leaving me a mess.
Next year would have been our 10th year together and I had a big thing planned for us. I am glad he chose to walk away before I invested more time and energy into someone who was already out.
I don't understand how someone can blow up their life for someone they have never met in person.
I also love how some of our friends knew before I did. Also enjoyed finding out through his messages that they all thought we had been separated long before we actually did. Loved reading his flirty messages and declare his love for his new online gf before he ended things. 🎊
Honestly, the trash took itself out so 🤷 less work for me.
The hardest thing for me through all this is being unable to share and just fall apart and have someone just hug me. Feeling alone really sucks. My family and friends support me but everyone has a lot going on and I also don't want people to worry too much. So faking emotional fortitude and self soothing myself is all I know how to do.
For anyone going through heartbreak, you aren't alone in all this. If I could, I would sit with you in the ashes of your broken dreams and mourn with you. I want to listen to everything you have say and express. I will stand witness. This is what I wish for most right now.
💜
----‐‐------
(A letter I will never send)
Thank you.
Thank you for blindsiding me and not even giving us or me a chance to understand. You showed me your selfishness and uncaring side.
Thank you for telling me that you had feelings for other women during our marriage and did not love me anymore. You showed me the depth of your affections and commitment.
Thank you for lying to me about not having another person lined up and even after I found out, you still lied to my face. You showed me your lack of integrity.
Thank you for icing me out of our online friendship group by lying and manipulating people about our relationship and about me. You showed me your true character.
Thank you for dragging your move out and putting me through pain and suffering from having to hope and feel the loss every single day. You showed me how heartless you can be.
I hope your online gf and online friends don't find out that you cheated on me and lied to them. The way you portray yourself as kind, loving, and supportive is all an act. I hope this so that they never have to feel the pain I have felt. They don't know any better.
I will not beg for you stay nor will I let you back in ever again. We will never be friends. You will just be someone I knew once upon a time.
I will pick up the pieces and mourn the future I thought I had. The empty spaces that you left behind I will fill with friends, family, and the things that make me happy. I will glue my heart back together with my own hands and move on. I have no regrets.
Thank you for not taking another decade from me. You've taken enough and I have given enough.
Good-bye to the version of you that I loved.

A lot of people were interested in my one month update here. So I decided to do a two month update that might be helpful to those who are struggling with continuing the work.

1. I personally feel that when I do the meditations with the breathwork (like BOTEC) extremely powerful changes happen in my life. But not necessarily the fun ones like you would want to hear about. I feel like there is something about this breath that changes my energy and my life path direction that puts me in positions where I am faced head-on with something I was either blind to or not aware enough of that has been affecting my frequency for a long time. Working through those struggles sheds light on my childhood conditioning and what I've been accepting as normal and acceptable my entire life. When in vibrational reality it isn't normal and acceptable it is damaging and painful. So I guess this is called shadow work. When I do the meditations that don't include the breathwork I feel I experience less of these extremely powerful changes. For real though - sometimes I'm scared to do the breath work now that I notice what it does lol
2. When I work through that shadow work an opening occurs in my life and I can see the value of what I now understand about myself and it somehow correlates to achieving my dreams I put into the field during the Tuning Into New Potentials meditation. Some of these phases and themes I notice when I'm in the "shadow zone" I'll call it can be so devastatingly hard to look at. I experienced a break-in attempt at my apartment a couple of weeks ago and this shook my energy. At the same time, I was exposed to a very troubling family dynamic deeply rooted in my childhood, same feeling as the break in, it shook my sense of security. So everything was just HARD. To get through very challenging external circumstances you have no control over while doing this work I recommend to keep going, keep doing the work as best you can, and remind yourself that this is likely part of the divine process to aid you in getting into the new personality. You NEED to face this tough stuff and go through to get to where you want. Reminding myself of this helped me stay patient and kind to myself instead of frustrated that I wasn't doing as well before the break-in. This work is not linear! I find I go up up up and feel high as a kite and damn life is beautiful and things are happening and then down down down WOW I was so unaware of this thing that is holding me back and I go in the shadow zone. But then I work through it with the knowledge and awareness I've gained through the work and go back up again higher than I was before :)
3. Money stuff: Shortly after my one-month update I got a call out of the blue from a producer (I work in film/tv) whom I had never heard of before and he said he heard that I owned some very specific monitors (like down to the model number) and wanted to know how quickly he could rent them from me and pay me monthly until August for a total of $10,000. I agreed, someone came to pick them up within a few hours, and I had a contract and regular monthly payments ever since. This was the easiest contract I've ever made in my professional life.
4. Health stuff: I used to suffer from seasonal allergies and couldn't get out of bed without a throbbing headache or migraine in the morning. I have some days where I sneeze more haha but overall, I've only taken allergy medication 3 times this entire Spring. My immune system feels stronger. I am drinking way less coffee and my energy levels are better. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroid when I was 18 which is very odd so energy levels have been a serious struggle in my adult life.
5. I've realized that it is possible to get stuck in the "trying to change" phase. Joe talks about this and how when you're looking for the manifestation you go back to your old vibration because you're telling yourself you still don't have it. I don't go into my meditations to get stuff anymore. I go into them to change and see/learn what I need to see/learn in my life to be a better human. This intention has changed everything. This is how I approached The Gateway Tapes with profound success. I no longer draw Tarot cards asking about my finances and whatever else I don't feel like I have. It takes me out of it. Be careful of this.
6. Some people might not like this but Joe's voice sometimes bothers me in meditations. For anyone familiar with The Gateway Tapes, I will hear Joe's voice but then repeat what he said in Bob's voice in my mind and it seriously changes the impact the meditation has on me. I feel like I go deeper and I feel safer. Also when exiting space and time and going into the vast unknown - I will induce myself to Focus 10. This has also led me to more powerful meditations. Going to Focus 10 is the easiest way for me to go from somebody to nobody and all the other some's and no's.