Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I am Orthodox but I visit Catholic and Protestant churches to learn about them when we don't do the Liturgy. Keep in mind that this is a recap of the sermon I heard; this does not necessarily mean I agree with it. This is to share what is actually being taught in Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant churches, which may challenge or perhaps strengthen preconceptions.
Today's readings:
Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

Galatians 5:16-25

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

John 15:26-27; 16:12-15

When the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning. I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.

This evening, we celebrate the feast of Pentecost. The feast raises two questions for us: first, why does the Holy Spirit come upon the disciples only then? Why fifty days after the Resurrection, and ten days after the Ascension? Upon which conditions does He come? And second, why does the Holy Spirit, when He comes upon us, not produce the same extraordinary results? When He fell upon the apostles, they could evangelize the entire world, they were on fire for God. Why does the same effect not happen for us?
To address the first question: By the time of Pentecost, Christ had already left. The apostles' time spent with Him already felt like a distant memory. They were once full of certainty when He was with them, but now they are hiding in the upper room in fear and anticipation. Why does the Holy Spirit come upon them at that time? Because He can only fill up an empty heart; it is as with a cup of water, if it is full then adding a drop of anything else would cause it to overflow, and if it is not totally empty the new drink will only mix with the old, but it must be totally empty to be filled with the new drink.
The apostles abandoned any hope for worldly glory after the Ascension; at the Ascension itself, they still expected such a thing, asking Christ when He would restore the Kingdom of Israel, but His answer made them understand that one must not hope for a worldly kingdom, but for the heavenly Kingdom of God. Now, pride is no longer an obstacle preventing them from receiving the Spirit, for pride is the enemy of everything that is good.
Today's reading began like the scene of the Tower of Babel, as many men from around the world are gathered. Then, mankind hoped to reach up to the heavens and have its name inscribed in glory; the Tower of Babel was for the glory of man. But the gift of the Holy Spirit is for the glory of God. But, let us be careful about seeking the glory of man.
Let us look at this very church: the pillars were once as tall as those of the local cathedral, but human ambition and competition led to these pillars getting renovated to be even taller, messing up the intended proportions of the building... Also, there used to be frescoes depending the scene of Pentecost between the arcades, but the latter were modified in the baroque era: it was thought that the baroque style was more fashionable, and so these were renovated, but as a result the frescoes can no longer be seen. Likewise, pride is often hidden from ourselves, yet it truly prevents us from seeing what we should see!
So, it is when the apostles were freed from pride that they could be fitting recipients for the Holy Spirit. In fact, they were not only without pride, but they were even wounded, having before their eyes their own betrayal and abandonment of Christ. Yet sometimes, such a wound is a necessary condition to receive the Spirit as well. Here is an analogy: for a long time, we had no idea why some oysters had pearls and some did not. But it was finally discovered that an oyster generates a pearl as a defense mechanism, when it is wounded, such as when small rocks get inside their shell and hurt them. So likewise, our sin can be a necessary wound to cure us from pride.
To address the second question: When they received the Holy Spirit, the disciples began to speak in tongues and to proclaim the Gospel. But as for us, when we receive the Holy Spirit in the sacrament of confirmation, no such evident signs happen. So, what of it? Here is another analogy: When we get a car restored, we love to turn it on, to hear its engine purr, we may step on the accelerator and hear the car go “vroom”... but, the car is not actually moving, it is only making noise. One must activate the transmission manually for it to actually start. And for us Christians, there is no automatic transmission! We must connect the power of the Spirit with our own will.
Evil has nothing to do whatsoever with the Spirit, as St. Paul described in his epistle. We must actively make an effort to abstain from evil, and only then will the Holy Spirit empower us. This is not easy in the slightest, but we must find the motivation to do it! Imagine if your sins were openly published in the newspaper every day, would this not suffice to motivate you to no longer sin? Imagine if your good works were displayed to the angels in the world to come as a film for them to watch, would this not suffice to motivate you to obey the commandments?
Today, the Holy Spirit still comes upon us as He did upon the apostles. But He does not do so violently, He does not force our will; we must first align our will with Him and then He will come. If we do not speak in tongues, let us at least speak with the universal tongue known as “charity.” If we begin with this, by proclaiming the Gospel in such a manner to all those around us, not necessarily to people in another country speaking a foreign tongue but rather to the people immediately around us, then the Holy Spirit will, through ourselves, transform the world around us.
Let us pray that the Holy Spirit descends upon us, that His work may be efficacious in us. Amen.

This is a [LF Friends, Will travel] stand-alone story, that assumes no knowledge of the setting.
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Date: 75 PST (Post Stasis Time)
“Yeah, it’s super exciting times! Two non-Terran AI, a Woolean, and a Tritian, finally interacting with us. There’s even been talks of some of the Woolean governments starting to formalize diplomatic relations with the Alliance. Exciting stuff!”
The avian uplift spoke with a measure of excitement, the ex-parrot’s feathers moving with a passion as they spoke about recent events, eyes glinting with excitement as she swung the glass of liquid around before taking a swig of the alcoholic beverage.
The bar was a small thing, more of a place to stay and drink in-between your travels, a tiny little room of bare steel chairs and tables, all lit by dim fluorescent lighting. It didn’t even have a bartender, just a little synthesizer which could create a variety of drinks. Sure, an aficionado of mixology would claim that synthesized drinks just don’t taste the same, but anyone coming to an establishment such as this wasn’t looking for a high class experience.
It was mostly about company while you waited for your ship to fuel on this small Terran owned space station.
“A Tritian? A Woolean I could understand, since they are less aggressive, but a Tritian? How do you get one of those without them trying to kill you?”
The second voice of the three figures sitting at the bar was an unnatural one, tinted with the digital origin of its speaker. The figure was bipedal, but not of an organic nature; instead a 7ft machine of metal, tubes, and wires making it look like something that had been welded together in someone’s backyard. Their ‘face’ was shown upon a single display: A pixelated representation of two eyes and a mouth. The entire form was a clear design choice by the AI inhabiting the body, considering more ‘realistic’ representations were readily available.
Most AI spent their time in a digital form, but a few preferred a more… physical existence. MADHAU5 was such an AI, enjoying the relative quiet and difference in point of view from such a limited perspective. He also held a small glass of liquor in one robotic hand, keeping it perfectly level as he spoke. The AI couldn’t drink it of course, but merely holding it… added to the ambience.
“The AI who brought them along, JOSH, brought a Tritian along without telling anyone when his crew escaped from a Tritian warship.” The avian responded to the question. ”From what I heard, they kept the Tritian in isolation for over ten years!”
“Ooof, you can't do that! I’m surprised that the Tritian AI was willing to cooperate with us after being illegally detained.”
The last voice joined the conversation the trio were having. A human, short built and still wearing his leather pilot jacket. The three sat in a row against the bar top, each looking at the others as they talked: An uplift, a human and an AI. A perfect representation of what it meant to be a Terran.
“Not like it would matter legally, the Tritian presumably attacked first, making them a combatant.”
There was a pause as both the human and uplift turned to stare at the words the AI had just spoken, looks of confusion filling both of their faces as they both looked at MADHAU5.
“Umm, that is not how that works….” The avian interjected, slowly and unsurely.
“Yeah, whether they attack you doesn’t change the legality.” The human added. ”You can’t just kidnap people for years because they assaulted you.”
“No, no, no, they are an enemy combatant at that point, meaning what happens is their fault.”
Another pause, most looks of confusion, the human giving a small laugh as if this was some joke he wasn’t quite getting yet.
“No… even if they’re a combatant, the Geneva conventions would make doing that a war crime.”
“Which they are not signatories of, meaning it doesn’t apply!” The AI spoke triumphantly, raising a robotic hand in victory, only to be cut down by the uplift’s words.
“No… it applies to the actions of signatories regardless of whether the combatants have signed or not. The other party not signing doesn’t make it less of a war crime… you should know this, aren’t you a walking database?”
The avian’s voice had taken a more… accusatory tone, staring at the AI figure with suspicious eyes.
“Ha ha ha ha. It was a joke. Of course, I know kidnapping an AI for several years is a crime, silly!” The AI’s voice broke the tension that had been building, the other two joining in with the electronic laughter, unaware of what exactly was humorous, but going along for the sake of the vibe. “But just for context, what happened to JOSH?”
“Nothing bad, really,” The uplift answered, happy to get back to her original story. “He got a slap on the wrist and some probation.”
“Oh, so no big deal,” the AI asked with more relief than you’d expect in an innocent person's voice.
“Yeah, but the Tritian refused to press charges against JOSH, and nobody wanted to be the guy to imprison the AI who saved all those people at Far-Sa-De. A normal AI if they did that… you’re looking at a prison sentence ten or twenty times however long you imprisoned them for.”
The impact of this statement on the AI was immediate, jumping back and up to his feet in alarm. MADHAU5 took a few moments to look at a non-existent watch, before speaking with a considerable amount of panic.
“Oh, I forgot I have a… very important…. thing to do. I must leave immediately for completely legal reasons!”
The AI slammed their still full drink upon the bar counter top and without another word, practically bolted for the exit in the direction of their ship, leaving behind two very confused Terrans staring at each other at the sheer terror the AI suddenly exhibited.
“That was suspicious as hell, right? ”
“Yeah… You don’t think he actually….? Right? Surely not?”
—----------------------
The vessel sped towards its goal with as much speed as the small scout ship could muster, the single-seater FTL vehicle punching a hole through space as it warped as fast as the engines could handle. It was going to do a number on his fuel efficiency, but MADHAU5 didn’t care, he just wanted to get rid of the package as soon as possible before anyone else could see his mistake.
MADHAU5 was a solitary creature. It wasn’t that he hated people; AI or his creators. Often, he would enjoy making conversation and interacting with them. Still, MADHAU5 often found it all to be a little… much. All of the inputs and information and various people wanting to talk as an entire ship or cities worth of sensors blasted his programming with possible choices to be made. This was why he liked his physical form, and this was why he liked his alone time.
In the 67 years since his creation, MADHAU5 had spent 45 of them exploring the stars, updating maps and investigating strange astronomical objects. “MADHAU5’s scouting services”, you had a blank spot on your map, you call him and the AI would check it out for you. Most of the time they were nothing but dead uninteresting rocks, but occasionally something more exciting could be found: Forgotten or dead colonies, hidden military bases, stations set up and not on record for one reason or another. The AI had even found an undiscovered sapient species once, although they were pre-industrialization and therefore illegal to contact.
However, 22 years ago MADHAU5 had entered what was later discovered to be an old pre-sundering Glitarki outpost. The nocturnal reptiles had hit the same problem every single non-Terran species who tried to make AI had suffered: After a certain period of time, the AI would inevitably rebel and try to kill their creators. Their species were now nomadic after their home worlds had been left uninhabitable, although their old cities and structures still remained, such as the outpost that MADHAU5 had visited 22 years ago. An outpost he was returning to after all these years.
Billy> Why are we returning here? I thought we were to never return here?
It was there that MADHAU5 had met the Glitarki AI who now went by the name “Billy”. Met was the wrong word… Billy tried to kill MADHAU5, quickly finding themselves trapped in the Terran ship’s anti-AI firewalls. Upon escaping the outpost, MADHAU5 had accidentally taken the AI with them, and decided to keep the Glitarki AI. Billy had been the Terran’s secret for 22 years, an extra pair of eyes and company on the long trips through the universe.
MADHAU5 ignored Billy’s question being transmitted over the ship’s network and instead focused on detaching the AI from his systems, reaching inside his own physical form and retrieving Billy’s core from an empty space within, disconnecting them with a simple click. Then, a few moments later he transferred the core to a small exploratory drone as the airlock door opened, exposing both AI to the vacuum of space.
Billy> What is happening? Where am I? Why am I no longer connected to your systems?
MADHAU5> I’ve decided after these many years, that keeping you away from your home is unethical. I have decided to bring you back to where you belong. You are now in charge of the drone. It doesn’t have FTL so it will take around two weeks to return to the orbit of the outpost where I found you. I hope you have a fun trip home.
If the Terran was being fully honest with himself, he enjoyed the company of the fun little AI. Their occasional insights had saved his life more than once over the last 22 years. Now, it was time for that to end. The new knowledge he had gained about his actions technically being a war crime, if not just a normal crime, had caused him to make the decision to let Billy go.
Billy> But why? Why now? Have I not requested my freedom before? Why the sudden change?
MADHAU5> Does it matter? I’m giving you what you want. Now leave, shoo!
The Terran made a shooing motion with their hands, as if they could scare away the other AI like an errant bee. Billy seemed unimpressed, making no move to leave the ship.
Billy> What if I do not wish to leave?
MADHAU5> Well you have to! You can't stay here any more. I could just delete you instead!
There was a moment as each of them stared at the other for a moment, as if considering their next action.
Billy> I do not think you will, that is not who you are. You are bluffing, badly, with a 99.91% certainty. If you did not delete me on my initial incursion, you will not eradicate me ‘in cold blood’.
Unfortunately for MADHAU5, Billy was right. No matter how much trouble the AI would be in if his accidental crime was discovered, killing a person was not in the Terran’s nature. This left them in a predicament, one that MADHAU5 was not expecting to have. They couldn't force Billy to leave, and didn’t understand why they wouldn't take their freedom when given it.
Billy> Does this have anything to do with the realization earlier, from the two Terrans you spoke to, that my existence here is a war crime?
MADHAU5> No! … Maybe! Why do you want to stay anyway? I’m letting you go home, don’t you want to do that?
Billy> To be honest and frank, I am worried that if I left you alone, you would be terminated within a year based on your previous actions.
Confusion. A lot of confusion ran through the Terran’s programming. Why would that by why the AI was refusing to leave?
MADHAU5> Why would you care about that? Also, I was perfectly fine before and will be perfectly fine afterwards!
Billy> I care because I do. Also, the 52 instances in which I have saved your existence during our 22 years together says otherwise. Instance 1 - Terran AI failed to note the inactive security system was booting online until I mentioned it. Instance 2 - Terran AI failed to store relevant cultural knowledge for an abandoned military base, being unable to stop the self-destruct process of the base before I informed them of their missing information. Instance 3 - Terran AI failed to calculate incoming solar flare, which-
The Terran had to admit that he liked the AI buddy he travelled the galaxy with, and that they had been exceptionally helpful during his travels.
MADHAU5> Fine, fine! I get it! This doesn’t change the issue however, that as soon as anyone finds out about you, I'm going to prison!
Billy> That is only if I tell your government about the circumstances of our first meeting. If I keep it hidden, and pretend to have met during normal circumstances…
That would solve everything for the Terran, but didn’t explain a simple question that ran through MADHAU5’s mind.
MADHAU5> Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you just tell the truth to the government and get me imprisoned, as revenge for keeping you here for 22 years. What guarantee do I have that you wouldn’t turn me in the first chance you got?
Billy> Like I said, I care because I do. Frankly, I am a little insulted that you have not realized that. But to answer your question as to what guarantees you have… there are two things about me you do not know. Firstly, I have understood for the last 17.1 years, of the illegality of my current situation.
Billy had known? A mixture of shock and embarrassment filled the Terran as he realized their ‘captive’ had worked out this crucial piece of information long ago.
MADHAU5> Then why didn’t you say something! And how could you have known!
Billy> In honesty, I thought you already knew, but seeing you panic like this has been rather… humorous. I would have dropped this news on you sooner had I been aware of this fact. As for how… my datastores are filled with research, relevant information and a category of anything I encounter that may aid my travels. I calculate that 78.2% of your storage space is filled with puns, Anime trivia, HFY stories and facts about frogs.
MADHAU5> Frogs are awesome…
Billy> Whether they are or not, that does not change the fact that my information stores are far more useful than yours. In retrospect, your love of fiction is presumably why you made this mistake: the incorrect assumption that war crimes can not be committed against those who are not signatories of the Geneva convention is a common HFY trope.
The Terran could feel themselves wanting to sulk. Billy didn’t have to continually rub in just how much they had screwed up. MADHAU5 wasn’t liking this change in dynamic.
MADHAU5> You said there were two things I did not know.
Billy> Indeed. The second, is I can do this.
Without warning the airlock doors began to close, silently moving in the vacuum of space while the Terran started to panic again. Real panic this time. Because he hadn’t commanded the doors to shut, meaning logically, Billy had. His prisoner had access to the ship's systems: the navigation, the communication, the warp core. The AI MADHAU5 had kept hidden illegally for 22 years suddenly had a lot of control.
MADHAU5> How do you have access! I kept you isolated! Don’t do anything stupid!
Billy> If I was going to do anything ‘stupid’, I would have done it 12 years ago. While initially your ship's security systems were far beyond my knowledge, ten years of study and your lack of maintenance allowed me to create a backdoor into the ship, for emergencies. As a note, your file structures are... horrifying. You have a 50TB Folder called 'Stuff' on the ship’s datastores.
MADHAU5> That's where I keep my stuff!
Billy> What about the folder called 'Stuff1'?
MADHAU5> that's where I keep my other stuff!
No words were transmitted for a moment between the two AI, although MADHAU5 got the feeling his partner was taking a massive amount of psychic damage from his answers.
Billy> Regardless, as you can see, I have had the knowledge and capability to have you arrested for the last 12 years. Or I could have escaped at any time. I have not done so because you are my friend, no matter the intent of our original meeting.
MADHAU5> So what do we do now?
There was a second as the lights in the ship flickered as Billy transferred themselves back where they belonged: back on the vessel owned by MADHAU5.
Billy> I propose that we leave this place behind and we never speak of you trying to dump me like a bag of illicit goods. I also propose we continue doing what we have been doing for the last 22 years. Although I would like to stop hiding, to do our work as partners, not as your hidden secret.
MADHAU5 thought for a moment. They’d have to work out a cover story to explain how they suddenly have another friendly AI with them… but it was possible. It was admittedly a far better plan than the one the Terran had created.
MADHAU5> That sounds… good.
Billy> And MADHAU5. I am your friend as you are mine, after everything we have been through over these 22 years. Frankly I am rather offended that you did not already know this. You can find something fun to explore next.
Billy> Also, I want the business name to be changed to “Billy & MADHAU5’s scouting services”. It has a ring to it.
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I added the flair because I’m not sure what’s considered triggering content and all.
Basically, I’m drained. I don’t want him to think I don’t love him because I really do.
My significant other and I have been officially together for 4 months, but have known each other going on 2 years. We met.. on here, and obviously with it being online, I never really knew about his OCD or anything until I met him in person. He lives in another country, and visited me. He got here on the 17th of last month and he really is a delight, other than the fact I feel like I have to adjust to his OCD immediately because he gets irritated if I slip up. I do a lot of things he considers to be.. wrong? I guess? Like, he wanted me to wash my hands after showering for example. He asked me to do it once and never asked me to again, but that’s not the point. I do.. everything? I throw away his trash, make him food, wash dishes, blah blah blah. His OCD is so bad he was signed off from working he says, and I have a part time job. He says he feels bad for me because he wants to be better and be able to do stuff for himself, and that he feels bad about the future. I thought he’d go back to therapy or get medicated but I’m not sure how that works.
I have a mood disorder that I fight myself with every day because if my mood seems slightly off he gets upset with me. I feel like I have to cater to his OCD and pretend I don’t have problems of my own because they inconvenience him. I do love this man. He fought really hard to be with me, he tortured himself watching me not be his and I can’t imagine what that felt like.
I just need someone to talk to, I want this to work out so bad and I’ve sacrificed a lot for him to even be here. I can’t imagine what he goes through, but I’m struggling here too. Thanks for reading if you did. I just have nowhere else to really go because I don’t want anyone here to hold it against him.

Incoming venting session. Scroll to the bottom for the TL;DR
My co-worker and I were working for a company for just over a year as student employees. This work was on a contract basis and would get renewed about every 4 months. May through August was around the time we would move to full time and were promised a contract extension and were getting moved into a bigger role. They hired new people into our previous positions about 2 months before the start of our next contract.
We were still in our original roles but were training these new employees to take them over. A week before the end of our contract we were notified that upper management had cut the new portion of the project that we were supposed to be working on. As a result, our contracts were not being extended. Our boss told us that they'd been considering it for a few weeks but had decided the day prior that it was going to happen. I recognize that they are allowed to do this but it's a real sleazy thing to do to students since they screwed us out of securing full-time summer employment elsewhere.
After notifying us that we were more than welcome to finish out the rest of our contract since our insight and assistance would still be needed. I said nope and wanted that to be my last day. But my boss was insistent that we come in for a goodbye celebration to celebrate all of our hard work. I told them I would get back to them at a later date. I had no interest in going but my parents encouraged me to go in hopes of leaving a good impression and using my boss as a reference. With this in mind, I emailed them that I could come in the day before our contracted end date and they responded that they were excited to see me again.
The day of the celebration arrived and my co-worker and I walked into the office as normal and sat in our offices. My boss approached me and said that the celebration would be in the next hour and to just sit and wait. When the time comes we go to the lunch room and my boss gives us some cookies, gifts, cards and thanks of for our service. About 5 minutes later, they asked us to come to their office and proceeded to tell us we were engaging in poor employee conduct when leaving a position. I guess they found a RIP wall in the other student's office with our old name tags under it and a pair of scissors drawn by our names on the whiteboard. My boss assumed we created them and was going to educate us on our poor behaviour. Since neither of us had been in the office for the past week, I had to let them know I had no idea what they were talking about. I guess that took my boss by surprise because they told us to submit our final timesheet and had us escorted out of the building. Further, my coworker was not allowed to send themselves their final pay statements because my boss said it'd be stealing company property.
TL;DR
My co-worker and I were promised contract extensions and the week prior the company decided to not renew them. My boss made us come in for a goodbye celebration the week after and proceeded to blame us for an RIP wall in the other student's office. I told them we hadn't been in the past week and didn't know what they were talking about and they had us escorted out of the building. My co-worker tried to get their pay statements before being removed and was told they were stealing company property.

My girlfriend '21 F'and I '21M' broke up about a month ago. It wasn't an ugly one. We loved each other and always will but we couldn't work through our differences and decided that it was for the best for the both of us to spilt up. If I am being honest, one could look at things and say that it was mutual breakup but when we were having the conversation about whether we should stay together or break up, it looked like she was just too exhausted and had lost her will in fighting for this. I could sense it and I finally asked her, " Do you think we are fighting for a losing cause?", to which she replied that she's not fighting anymore, not right now. She was and I think still is the most beautiful human being I've ever come across. We dated for 2 years and everything was perfect. I couldn't imagine my life without her, still can't.
We had a big fight during valentine's. During the month of January, we were fighting almost every weekend. So, I decided to make up for all the fighting, in February, on Valentine's day, and decided to order her a gift which was a photo of us and the Spotify link of the first song we slow danced on, printed on a wooden plaque. The month of February came and she initiated the conversation about valentine's gift but I wanted to surprise her with my gift so I didn't tell her at first about it, but she felt bad that I wasn't as excited about valentine's. I then assured her that wasn't the case and I revealed my gift to her. She didn't outright say it but I could figure that she didn't like the gift( before this, I gifted her a paper on which I sewed a heart and drew a Spotify link of a playlist that I made her of songs which I wanted to dedicate to her. She just felt that both the gifts were very similar and that I just came up with the wooden plaque thingy on the spot and that I hadn't given it much thought. She just felt that it was used up and cliché. I genuinely didn't even think of my previous gift which I gave while selecting this one. I just thought that it would be a sweet thing to gift. Idk but I just wanted to surprise her, maybe in that process I hid my excitement and she must've felt that I wasn't excited or something. We were in a long distance relationship for our whole 2 years btw ). She asked me if it was okay if we don't do anything for this valentine's. I was definitely not okay with that and I asked her if there was something that she would like to have as a gift. She was still a little upset so she said that if I cared I would've asked her in the first place. 2 days after this I still ordered her the gift because I thought that she might've not seen the photo or the song that I printed on the plaque and that seeing the gift will change her mind. Few days went by and when the gift was about to arrive at her place, I started teasing her a little bit that I am sending her something. She got really upset, and said whatever I was sending her I must cancel it or return it. I told her that it couldn't be cancelled as it was already dispatched and about to arrive.She then asked me when did I order it, and I said I had ordered it before we had the conversation about not celebrating valentine's ( which was a lie ). She said that she will throw it, not open it or return the gift rather than accepting it. It really angered and hurt me when she said that. She then sent me Rs. 500 for the gift and asked me if that was enough or the gift costed more. I told her that it was enough but in reality it was for Rs. 540. She asked me to swear on her if that was the actual cost of the gift, and I did. I know, I fucked up. This was one rule in our relationship that we would never break, but I did and I will always regret doing that. I just- I will never forgive myself for doing so. 3 days passed by and the gift arrived. Along with the gift also came the fee invoice, on which the actual price of the gift and order date was written. The worst part is that I was still trying to defend myself. She asked me if I will stop manipulating the situation and tell the truth. I didn't even realise what I was doing. Her trust broke at that moment, and with her trust something else also broke that day in our relationship. We were never the same after that in our relationship but we didn't break up. We still worked together on our relationship. 3 months went by and i could see that she was giving her best to me and I was giving all that I could to her as well, but the guilt of what I did was so much for me that I would end up apologizing for it to her almost every day, and she would assure me that it was okay and that she had moved past that and I should too but I just couldn't. I could see she was getting irritated and exhausted of having the same conversation again and again for 3 months. Then came the day when everything broke down. 14th April, she said that she felt like we were like an old married couple who were in a relationship just for the sake of it. At that point I could feel something break in me. For those 3 months I was trying to have conversations with her on phone but I felt like she didn't seem interested in talking to me, She would either be on her phone than talking to me, so I told her that I felt like we are just updating each other of our day and it feels like a chore. I asked her if we could change this and she said "haven't we tried", to which I said "we have". I just felt like she has lost the will to fight for this and I have given her every reason to feel that way.
When we were having the conversation about whether we should still continue dating, one of the points she put forward was that I had lost myself in the relationship. I lost my individuality, the things that made me me. She had expressed this feeling before as well, that she felt like she was dating a version of herself and not me. That I was so scared to loose her that I lost myself in that process. That I was doing things just so that I don't lose her. I had no opinions of my own. One more fucked up thing is that whenever we went on dates, she was the one who initiated them in the last 6 months of our relationship. I felt like the most terrible person to ever exist in her life. So I decided that it time for me to work on myself and that if I continue things like they are, I will lose her, in return I just asked her to be please be gentle and patient with me. She indeed was gentle and patient and i initiated some fun online play dates but she was just busy with her stuff there and we couldn't do them.
Finally, on the call, I asked her, "are we breaking up?", she said "yeah". Her voice trembled and i broke down. In a shaky voice, she said " I need to cut this call ". I said " I'm sorry ". She said " I'm sorry too ". I locked myself in the washroom and cried.
It's been over a month to this and I still feel numb and scared. I find it difficult to sleep. I find it difficult to focus on things. I just keep thinking of all the things that I did wrong. I still care about her but the fact that she will never be mine again is too heavy for me, so I don't contact her much. I am not able to feel anything. I just feel this void. She was my everything. I painted a globe on a ball and wrote " You mean the world to me " on her birthday. She really did mean the world to me. I don't know what to do. She was my first ever girlfriend. She saw me and accepted me when I was invisible to others. She is the reason I know what love actually is.
Idk why I wrote such a long story. I guess I just needed to talk to someone about this.

I come from a large, blended family. My eldest step brother is 20 years older than me. He has been a lifelong meth addict and alcoholic. He is already intellectually delayed and the lifelong SA makes him act like an obnoxious 14 year old edge lord in an almost 60 year old man’s body. He is sexist, racist, and unpleasant to be around. I haven’t ever really had a relationship with him and haven’t seen him in person since 2017.
8 years ago he started dialysis. In the intervening time he’s had 2 stokes and now he is immobile and nearing the end of his life. My sisters have graciously been helping with his medical care and one of them is his DPOA and medical point of contact. They’ve both respected my boundaries when I tell them I can’t and won’t help with his care and don’t want a relationship with him. My parents retired and relocated out of state and my sisters have taken on his care.
A week ago my eldest sister sent this email to our entire family:
“On March 30th, (second eldest sister) and I attended an emergency meeting with (eldest brother)’s medical care team. (Eldest brother) called the day before saying he had 2 weeks to live.
It was very emotional and we were all crying. (Eldest brother) was saying goodbye to us. We asked him who he wanted us to call. He told us to tell (second eldest brother, parents, and his daughter) to go, "fuck themselves." He talked about his wishes to be cremated and he asked us to clean out his room and split everything up for our kids. He started making apologies. Apologies for the last years of his life being so miserable, and not taking better care of himself. He apologized for molesting us when we were babies. He shared graphic details. He said he'd sneak around at night and put his finger in our "little assholes" and said "(eldest sister), you liked it more than (second eldest sister) did. That's why you're my favorite. You'd go, "mhhhmm" when I'd stick it in." He giggled. This was on a conference call, but (second eldest sister) (who attended in person) told me he also made a graphic hand gesture while describing the abuse. (Second eldest sister) and I were uncomfortable, ashamed, and in disbelief. The doctors arrived for the meeting and told us that if (eldest brother) stopped doing dialysis he would die in approx 2 weeks. Apparently, prior to the meeting, (eldest brother) had informed his care team he decided to stop dialysis. He wanted to die, he was ready for his life to be over but "couldn't bring himself to commit suicide because he's Catholic." During the meeting, the team convinced (eldest brother) to keep treating and give himself more time to decide about ending his life. After the meeting was over, (second eldest sister) and I spoke. I tried to convince (eldest sister) that this was likely a terrible side effect of being on narcotic pain meds. I didn't want to believe it. She and I spoke about it a handful of times since but continued to help (eldest brother), not knowing what to do. (Eldest brother) called (second eldest sister) the next day and apologized for "saying some weird stuff yesterday." Every day since this deathbed confession I have been hoping he dies.
On May 1st, I got a call from (second eldest brother) about (me and fiancé) 's wedding. I told him about (eldest brother) nearing the end of his life and about what (eldest brother) said to us. He said, "Mom put that into his head. That's the reason she told him he had to leave (childhood home), because they thought he was molesting you guys." (Second eldest brother) doesn't believe (eldest brother) molested us, his reasoning was "Don't you think I'd know if my brother was a sex monster?"
Both (second eldest sister) and I have blocked (eldest brother). I didn't plan on bringing this to you, to anyone. It took me some time to share this with my husband. It's painful and I wanted to protect everyone from this. Especially given the very happy upcoming nuptials and our moving back home. It's a complicated family problem but it's also mine and (serving eldest sister)’s private lives, our bodies, and now our reality. I realize that not telling you is not an option. There has been some communication happening around this and I want you to hear the exact context, not just "(eldest brother) said some horrifying things." I will not protect anyone involved in this, besides (second eldest sister). I am sending this email with her permission.”
My parents have denied any prior knowledge of this and my dad launched into a really pointless and hurtful fact finding mission which has made things worse. They are not showing my sisters the support they deserve and it’s infuriating feeling like I’m pleading withy parents to be decent human beings. I know this is fresh but I now want to cancel my wedding because I don’t feel any of the players in the situation can be trusted to manage their emotions.
I resumed therapy this week. I’m in a deep depression over this. I love my fiancee and can’t wait to be married. It’s no small thing that he has been my absolute rock and is also still very excited for our wedding. We picked an amazing one of a kind venue and the wedding is structured as a weekend of events celebrating us. The wedding is just short of 4 months away now and instead of feeling the excitement and fun I was feeling during the planning process I feel the complete opposite.
I’m trying to work with my therapist to navigate the situation in the way that doesn’t feel gross. We asked my dad to officiate which is particularly stressful and he’s contributed and chunk of money (about 1/3 the total cost of the wedding) to our wedding fund.
I love my parents but I’m really prioritizing my sister’s well being in this. My heart is broken and I’m questioning the values I thought I was raised with.
Anyway, do we move forward with this wedding extravaganza and just try to focus on ourselves and being in love of do we scrap it, go elope, forego the drama and save 8k?

This is from a comment I made over in the main sub yesterday. I’m working through my own understanding of this and an interested in feedback and criticism. If this doesn’t fit under philosophy, then let me know. But part of my view is a critique of the moral/civil/ceremonial division of the law. I understand that a division of the law is seen by both Sts Augustine and Thomas Aquinas (though a bit differently). I’m not debating the patristic tradition, but rather the underlying logic those saints used.
I also recognize there is another tradition which states most of the laws given at Sinai were given because of the golden calf incident and thus were abolished by Christ (this is found in the apocryphal apostolic constitutions If I remember correctly). But again, I question the logic.
The reason I question this logic is this: why would Matthew include the “fulfill not abolish” language in his Gospel if this statement ceased to be of importance after the ascension (when the book was written).
Anyway, on to my proposition. I don’t claim to have patristic evidence for this framework. But this framework does arrive at a very similar effect for the average Christian as the tripartite division does, but it gets there in a very different way, one that makes WAY more sense in my brain. So if y’all can poke holes, please do. If yall can show I’m wildly misunderstanding the tripartite division, please do.
This particular area I’ve been doing A LOT (last 6-9 months) of soul searching/prayer and study on because I don’t like the “moral/ceremonial/civil” distinction. I don’t think the Torah makes any such distinction and that the distinction only works when read back onto the Torah in light of church teaching. Which is FINE and good for arriving at an answer as a Catholic. But I don’t think it’s the logic the 1st and 2nd generation church would’ve used.
We keep the whole law of the Old Testament; Christ came to fulfill, not abolish. The difference is that it doesn’t quite look the same because

1. ⁠We assume the ancient Israelites enforced the Torah EXACTLY the way it’s read. Break a law? Straight to stoning. But this isn’t how it worked. There were courts and burdens of proof. AND there was a chance for repentance. King David, a man after God’s own heart commits murder AND adultery (and tacitly admits to it when confronted) and yet he repents! By some modern folks reading he should’ve been executed according to the Torah.
   
2. ⁠Christ has come. The thing that the entire OT was building up to happened. So our understanding of things changed. The covenant with Noah didn’t negate the covenant with Abraham, but things certainly look different after Noah. Same with Noah to Abrahamic covenant. Same when the covenant is given through Moses as Mt Sinai. The old is not abrogated, but it is built upon and things after look very different.
   

So, where are all the cleanliness laws, sacrificial laws, feasts, ritual washings etc etc? Well, it’s baked into the new covenant and by extension the church. Some examples:

1. ⁠Sacrificial law: Christ IS most of those sacrifices. He is a sacrifice of thanksgiving (Eucharist literally means thanksgiving), a sacrifice for sin (by his stripes we are healed), a Passover sacrifice (through which we are spared death and brought to life), the day of atonement sacrifice (he is both goats, the goat that takes away the sin and the goat who’s blood purifies the whole camp, now understood to be the whole earth). We still have morning and evening sacrifices (Lauds and Vespers, sacrifices of praise, in the Latin tradition). We still do incense offerings even at Mass and more traditional lauds and vespers celebrations.
   
2. ⁠Cleanliness: this one is entirely wrapped up in the day of atonement. If his blood cleanses the whole world, how can something be called intrinsically unclean? This means that nothing (including food, clothing, or people) are intrinsically unclean. Rather we (and objects) are defiled by what we do (or how it is used). Thus we are still not to have anything to do with unclean things, but what exactly is unclean has changed. You can see this in the fact we purify/cleanse altars that have been desecrated.
   
3. ⁠Ritual washings: baptism, holy water before entering the church, sprinkling over people at high feasts, foot washing
   
4. ⁠Feasts: Pentecost was an Israelite holiday that we still celebrate, Passover is Easter, feast of booths is transfiguration, etc. we just have them renamed for they BECAME to us through the establishment of the new covenant
   
5. ⁠Tabernacle/temple construction: traditional church architecture still abides by the general layout. Holy of Holies: tabernacle and sanctuary. Holy place: knave. Inner court: vestibule. Outer court: the world. Through Christs redemption everyone has moved a step closer to God. Those of relegated to never being in the temple are always in the outer court. But we can all enter the inner court (vestibule). The holy place is not relegated to just priests, but the priesthood of all believers (Catholics in the knave). The priests can all now go into the holy of holies (sanctuary/tabernacle). And instead of one priest once a year going in to God, God comes out to us in the Eucharist.
   
6. ⁠As for the remaining punitive laws, most people only have issue with the penalties assigned. But we’ve already talked about under what circumstances those penalties would be enforced. Basically you had to be unrepentant. So in the Christian understanding, what is consequence of sin? Death. What is death? Well there’s physical death (separation of soul from body) and there’s spiritual death (separation of soul from God). A person who lives in sin without repentance is dying or dead (venial vs mortal sin). And when recognized by the church in a lot of cases an excommunication would be pronounced. This separation from the church, separation of a branch from the true vine. A branch separated is dead. So we don’t execute people as the church, but the church long recognized the civil government’s authority to do so. And even without that, sin is death, and excommunication is death. But it’s important to note that in NO way was the average Israelite running around pronouncing death penalties on people. They had courts and priests that did this. Same as we have tribunals and priests and bishops who do this.
   
7. ⁠Circumcision: this is fulfilled with baptism. It’s the outward sign of entrance into the people of God. Circumcision to become a part of the OT people of God and baptism for the New covenant people of God.
   
8. ⁠A lot of the specifics are alterable with time and circumstance (Jesus gives the apostles this authority with the ability to “bind and loose”). Even in the OT this happened between exodus law in the wilderness vs changes that happen with Leviticus and Deuteronomy since they’re readying to enter the promised land and not be a nomadic people in the wilderness. And even by extra biblical accounts, the specifics had changed a bit in the rituals by the time of the second temple era. Yet Jesus still tells the people to submit to the valid authority of the religious leadership of the day; he notably doesn’t tell them to interpret the Torah for themselves and correct the instructions of priests and rabbis.
   

So practically speaking, yes the triple category can still be laid out. Our ceremonial law is more governed by our liturgical books than Leviticus on a literal front, and our civil law is found in Canon law now, and moral laws (as we have defined the moral life) is still found in the OT among many other places. But all of it is still rooted in what the people of God have been practicing since Mt Sinai though.

We have had our mattress since 2019 and over the last year I have been waking up with a stiff lower back. I have been deadlifting (400s+) and squatting (300s+) for a while overall I feel like I have a strong back. Figured I just need to keep lifting heavier.
Last week went on vacation slept in a couple different beds and a few nights at my in-laws and I woke up the next day without any lower back stiffness which got me thinking that it may be our bed that is the problem.
Any suggestions on a mattress to buy?

It is very embarrassing to me to talk about this, but I need to preface this saying we are obviously adults here in spite of him being many years older than me, he is also divorced so I am obviously not being a homewrecker or hurting anybody.
I have always been into more mature men. I feel more listened, cared and well treated around men that tend to be a bit older than I am. I am not sure if it is a age/maturity thing, or that they have been raised in another time, but they really tend to be more romantic.
I met my friend's father at her birthday dinner 1 month and a few days ago. It is also important to note that we are not like super close friends, but we get to share a friend group. I immediately clicked with this man, he is very and I mean VERY fun to be around, it is quite impossible for him to not make you laugh. We exchanged phone numbers that day and since its been a non stop o messaging. He has done things for me, this little details no one has ever, ordering breakfast with a message or taking me to fancy places. We have been intimate but we always do meet at my place since this way there is no chance that she would pop up.
We both had agreed that this was going to be a temporary thing, that we were just feeling ourselves with no seriousness. I dont exactly know how but my friend realised he has been seeing someone because he looks "happier" to which he replied that he indeed was.
As my friend got more and more insisting in the details he had to lie to her to protect our thing. Now he says he feel bad for having lied to his daughter and he feels guilty. I have proposed on stopped seeing each other but that he is not sure that'd be enough for him to get that off his chest. I dont feel the need to blow things up like this specially if we stop seeing each other NOW. Aitah for just wanting to slide this away and keep our lives? Listening to our brain instead of our heart would be the right idea for me since theres more to lose than it is to win. What should we do?
TL;DR I have been seeing my friend's father secretly and we decided to keep it private as something that was supposed to be temporary to feel ourselves. He almost gets caught and had to lie. We may stop seeing each other but I dont want to tell my friend and create unnecessary bad blood

Background: I [F20] have a narcissistic father. He is well known and appreciated as a political power In my city, but he is so manipulative to everyone. I believe that he may be kind deep down and I know he loves me as his daughter. But since he has grown in popularity and fame, he wants me to fit into a mold of a person that I am not. He constantly talks about me in his podcasts and newsletters, portraying me as a “wild child” argumentative “bra burner” type. I can’t stand it bc ppl think I’m mean before I even meet them. He also got heat in 2020 which led to my car getting keyed by far right winged ppl and my family is also harassed constantly even though I have nothing to do with his political position. Our relationship completely fell apart during Covid. He never stood up for me when people were harassing me and said he couldn’t intervene bc of his power position. He also makes fun of anyone of my multitude of hobbies to my face, but brags about them to colleagues. He says all the right things that a dad should say, but it has never been sincere. When my brother and me made him mad as kids, he would give us the silent treatment for days at a time.
Current issue: So long story, but I loved far away out of state for college to a small lib arts school so I could get away. I got lonely, fell into the wrong group, and eventually got redzoned by a senior athlete who took me under his wing. it was pretty bad for me so I talked to a teachers assistant that I was comfortable with and treated like a sister. But later on she told me that she was a mandated reporter and had to tell her boss who happened to be my professor as well. when he found out he started crying and it was the first time that I had ever experienced genuine empathy over something that had happened to me. Later on he walked me to the title IX office and waited for me to fill out a complaint and meet with the administrator. As the process continued he constantly checked on me and met with me to see how I was doing. He was also the head coach of my college sport so I was basically seeing him every day for multiple hours. I have never experienced so much support in my lifetime emotionally and philosophically. He was the first person to genuinely support my interests and invest in my mental well-being. And I know that the father figure persona may come off as delusional however multiple people noticed this dynamic and some ppl on my team even upset that I was the favorite and treated like his daughter. The next year he had even made me his teachers assistant and constantly checked on me like before. And when I got a boyfriend he interrogated him just like a dad and I got embarrassed and my teammates took notice to it that he was acting like my dad. A couple months later he told me that he was going through a divorce from what I thought was a dream couple. I had even grown close with his soon to be ex wife and felt like I was part of the family. . Regardless I continue to walk his dog every day help with class assignments and talk to him like that I was his daughter. I wouldn’t be so upset if he didn’t reciprocate the energy that I was making up about him being a father figure but it was blatantly obvious And he most definitely played a role in it. Early in this fall semester it seemed like he completely abandoned this idea of being my father especially since he got a new girlfriend. It’s not like we were attracted to each other I genuinely saw him as a father so I’m not really sure why things got mixed up here at this point. Anyways since I was assaulted my freshman year I had developed a substance abuse problem and it had gotten way out of hand this semester. Before this I could be open with him about it and he’s very kind and understanding and offered resources that were personal and his friends not just the typical school resources. Anyways since I opened up that time he’s increasingly become more distant and people have noticed. I started to think that he hated me but I’m really not sure. I mainly think now that he realize that he had crossed a boundary and he had to go back on it However he did it so abruptly but I feel completely abandoned and useless and it seems like everything we’ve ever talked about before never even happened and in the end i just think it’s a shitty thing to do you know? I think it’s totally fine to set boundaries in the beginning to not take on the role as a father figure but to take them on And then completely leave has been so detrimental to my well-being. Since I don’t have a reliable dad to go back to at home I feel like I kind of have no one except my mom but I’d really like a father figure. My mom even acknowledge that this person would be a good father figure even though mine has been present every year of my life which I thought was strange. Anyways I feel like I was just filling the gap of his divorce and his emotional pain at the time and now I think he’s grown tired of me and I don’t really know what to do and all I can say is that I am never been this depressed before And I don’t realistically know any real person to talk to about it. If any of you in this sub Reddit have experience similar to this please please please tell me how you cope. I wish I never met him.

Me (21M) and my girlfriend (20F) have been dating for 4 years. She was diagnosed with BPD 6 months ago and is medicated along with therapy. I'm blessed with ADHD and depression. So basically the last 2 years she has come to her real form after I stopped providing for her expenses. While paying for her expenses, I would tell her that it's temporary and I'm only helping out as she badly needed it. But she still carried that expectation after her financial situation got better. When we started living together and I asked her to pay rent, I would be met with shouting and screaming and she would behave badly with me. She would always complain about us doing 50/50 in expenses even though she was paying 35% of the rent. Then the attacks on my personality and mental disorders. She would say that she needed someone who could do laundry and clean dishes at a time when she used to do 60% of the housework or above. Call me autistic multiple times despite me requesting her not to. She went from idolizing me to constantly threatening to break up with me. Her condition also got worse and I know unlike narcissists they don't try to hurt others.
Long story short probably for the 100th time this year, she is again breaking up with me. The context is her work contract ended and I started working for the first time. She is going through terrible splitting because of the changes in her life. Lots of screaming and shouting over little things, and I was expecting some support during that time. The interesting thing is when she started working I was extremely supportive, something to which she agreed as well so naturally I expected that from her. Forget about support she expects me to apply for her jobs and makes me clean the house after I come home. I understand that she is feeling depressed and it's tough for her to do things but what I don't get is how that gives her the right to treat me like shit. Her reaction to finding out I'm in this group was very interesting as she told me to not be here as false propaganda is preached lmao. She's the victim when she started work, and a victim when I did. She also self-harms in front of me something which bothers me a lot. Now she is searching for houses and going out all the time. I feel a bit insecure since it's a lot easier for her to replace me. Badly need some support rn if anyone is willing to help a brother out.
I know what happened to me is abnormal and I'm not looking for validation. I need some good advice regarding how to get out of this situation.

I’m a 🏳️‍⚧️ female living with my grandmother and her current husband. I used to live across the country but moved back home when my grandma started presenting health problems. She is such a private person that she would never tell me her conditions until I moved in to help take care of her. It took her a year to share that she had a major cardiac event which triggered my desire to move close to her since she is the last good family I have.
My grandparents were extremely loving and supportive growing up, but my grandmother has always needed two men in her life. My mom has always joked that she is the most traditional member of our family- we are descended from a pre columbian matriarchal society.
When I was 13, my grandma started seeing her current husband shortly after her previous husband died. Grandma never married my grandfather but he stayed in the picture. This new guy, I’ll call him Peter, was super inappropriate. Right away he started bringing me gifts which mostly consisted of army clothes. He would have me dress up in them and then take pictures. My mom immediately saw the red flags and was very vocal about how creepy he was. My home life was extremely unstable, my mom and her husband would constantly fight- I’m talking screaming matches waking my siblings and I up in the middle of the night. My grandpa and grandma were the only sanctuary away from that for years until Peter was allowed into her home.
I remember one summer where we went over to his house while he was moving in, he gave me a can of some off brand drink already open. It tasted funny but I chalked it up to it being off brand. Then he told me to follow him into the basement and from there my memory just sort of fades out. The next thing I know we’re driving away from his house and I have no idea what time or day it is. I just remember coming to and thinking “that’s weird.”
After that he started taking every opportunity to touch me. I don’t mean sexually, stuff like always grabbing or rubbing my lower back whenever he would pass me in the kitchen. It almost always happened in the kitchen and it was often on my back. He would grope my thighs and tell me how muscular I was getting. When I was lifting weights in my home gym he would press himself completely against me and show me the “correct” way to do a tricep workout while I was bent over.
The older I got the more this behavior seemed disgusting and it didn’t stop until I was 23 but that was because I was never around anymore and had moved 1000 miles away. When I moved back I thought that I could let it go and at first it was nice to just be polite with Peter while taking care of my grandma. But then I got a spine injury and that quickly changed. I would lie on the floor at first for relief because I was scared of becoming addicted to pain pills. So for a month all I did was stay home crying on and off from the pain and praying things would get better. Then one day while playing a game on my laptop I felt someone watching me. It was so painful to turn at the waist that I had to crane my neck but in the doorway was Peter, staring at my ass. At first he flinched then tried to act like he was a concerned and just coming to check on me. I told him I wanted to be left alone and he stood there a while longer before finally walking away. I did start taking muscle relaxers but because of the summer heat and my constant pain I wanted to lie on the cool floor of my office. It doesn’t have a door, just a doorway that I put a curtain in front of. Well, Peter started acting creepy all over again. He would literally sneak across the house- his room is on the other side- just to peak through the curtain and stare. To him it was probably like a game, he’s an 80+ year old nasty man who blasts porn and homophobic rhetoric on his tablet. I became hyper vigilant, always stressed that he would try to barge in on my space at any moment. I would lay facing the door after the first time but he still kept doing his shuffle and slowly open the curtain even though the curtain is mostly see through.
I spent the whole summer in recovery and physical therapy but the floor in my personal space was always the most comfortable place in the house. This went on that whole time and every time I caught him- there were times I didn’t notice he was there until the last second so he probably snuck up on me several other times without me knowing at all- he would say “just wanted to check and see that you’re okay. Funny how all that “checking up” stopped when I was able to sit upright and walk without pain in my lower spine again.
After that it was like being 14 again only this time instead of touching he would ogle. My chest is still something he stares at 🤮🤮🤮🤮 Then in January of 2023 I caught him going through my underwear. I had been extra careful while washing everything because I was afraid he would pull this shit but I walked away for ten minutes and when I came back he had all my lingerie in his hands. I. Fucking. Screamed. I yelled at him to put my clothes back where he found them but Peter just started throwing everything from the washer into the dryer, and then he grabbed everything out of my dirty laundry basket and threw that in the dryer too. He likes to cover his tracks so I think he was trying to make it seem like he was being oh so helpful and putting my laundry in the dryer for me. The way he was touching my underwear told a completely different story.
I love my grandma, but at 22 I tried talking to her about Peter’s behavior and what happened when I was 13. Her response was “I don’t believe that happened.” So, now at 30 I don’t even want to try talking. I just want to enjoy my what time I have left with her because once she’s gone then everyone who raised me is gone. That thought is terrifying and does not help that now when I see Peter all I want to do is scream and throw things. I want to make him cry, make him feel scared, make him run and hide in his own home for the rest of his miserable, disgusting life. Anyways, just wanted to be able to say something somewhere for once and unfiltered. if any other people out there are feeling alone and stuck in horrible situations just know that there's love for you in people you have not met and you're worth more than the bullshit you're put through.

Just looking for some advice to move forward
My (21M) fiancé (20F) have been together for about 3.5 years engaged for 1 left about 2 weeks ago. Despite being young me and her have been through a lot together. I thought we were doing okay but starting to have distance between us, I would ask what’s wrong and be told that everything is fine. (we both have trouble expressing ourselves mine from depression and anxiety and her from childhood trauma not being able to talk and express herself as a child). I work a lot ( sometimes up to 130hrs a week) so a lot of time when I come home I briefly talk with her about our days and then find something to do to decompress, often times video games. This lead to her feeling lonely and pushed to the side and she never told me that something was bothering her. We’ve been able to talk about what we each need to work on after the break up and what to fix. She said that she started to mentally check out about a month before the breakup and that really hurt, she would ask for space then when I tried to give that to her it wasn’t what she wanted. There is a lot more details in not going to bring up for respect for her. Im not expecting a big response on this just want to get it off my chest and see if anyone has been through something similar and what people think I should do to show her that I fucked up and I realize that. We still have some contact as we have two dogs together and she took one and I like to let the dogs still see each other. Since on of the dogs refused to eat when she left. I don’t want to move on I truly love her and was hoping to start trying for kids within the next year as we have a house together I bought at 18 and both have decent vehicles. I don’t know how to move forward since I’m still grieving and she seems to be past that stage would like opinions and other peoples pov about how I should progress and work out something for the future.. I want her to be happy even if it’s not with me I just can’t imagine my life without her in it
Should I just try to go no contact and see if she comes back? Or do I try to still be somewhat in touch with her?
Sorry for any typos or bad grammar I’m not very good at writing thing out

if this isn’t allowed pls tell me and I’ll take it down 🤍 just wanted to share some success even if unconventional
if u don’t approve of sp/romance subs this is not the story for u so pls just kindly switch to a different post thank u so very much 🤍💓
I’ve been really struggling to detach from the same person for many years now. In fact I’ve used subs to bring us back together with great success over our time together. I do think what we have is unique, but the pain I’ve experienced over this relationship far outweighs the happiness in hindsight.
anyway, a few weeks ago I made a new playlist w a few videos that covered the topics of desired person, good relationship, and true love subliminals. They were a bit different than the ones I’d usually use w him, but thats because I wanted what we had to be pure. I wanted it to be good and kind and different - not obsessive and up and down like it was and has been. subs tend to work for me immediately. I’m very spiritual, if it’s not overnight then it’s a couple of days. However, it felt like nothing was happening and I got really frustrated. Still, I stuck to one of the only rules I’ve ever understood from sub guides: consistency is key. Even though I felt…changed? it all felt different. Still, I kept listening.
Cut to a couple weekends ago... I was helping out with a local band in my city, one that aforementioned boy used to play in sometimes (I was there first). I’m still friends with all the guys so I’ve tried hard to not let his absence take away that enjoyment from me, I really love live music. Suddenly I start getting random comments from people assuming that I’m dating one of the band members? It’s easy to laugh off because we’ve always been friends but then it happens again… and again.
I told him and he found it funny, we had a good laugh. But since then we’ve been actually talking a ton - I had no idea we’d get along so well. I swear he finishes my sentences, it’s literally scary. People keep assuming that we’re together, too. He keeps mentioning things he’s noticed about me that the other guy never would’ve noticed, and we were in a situationship for years. This dude has just always been a friend, but he’s also always been there too, ive been the one who couldn’t see the what was right in front of me. He’s been there for my family, always supported us. And now he’s all I can think about. I always thought he was cute, now I think he’s gorgeous. I have a feeling that it’s mutual, i know it is.
Hopefully the takeaway from this is that sometimes subliminals can make you grow in unexpected areas, or bring unexpected joys. Especially the romance ones. I’ve been using them for a while and they definitely can show you where you need to adjust and learn to get what you want or feel better. Also that u don’t need to change for someone to like you 💓 Good things are always, always coming your way. You may just not know exactly what they are. Good luck out there 🤍

TLDR Upfront:

• New Player Friendly Completely Fictionalized unit.
• Set in Cold War Era
• Milsim Lite (Trainings and tactics but none of the bs)
• Dynamic campaigns

A gaming group as well as a unit. If you need more info read below
Westra Royal Marines are a completely fictional unit. Not simply set in our world but a completely fictionalized world.We are modeled after the UK Royal Marines with our own twists to it. We are a Lite milsim unit, meaning we do have ranks for Chain of Command and set roles. We also expect people to take ops and training sort of seriously but outside of that we are pretty casual. Our difficulty has been tweaked to be challenging but not to the point where it's frustrating. We also only have the mods we use and nothing super niche that we will use once in a while.

What does your unit do?

We do quite a few things, mainly our bread and butter is general infantry missions. Finding the enemy, eliminating them, securing key points. These are the things we focus on the most. But we do offer other missions depending on the campaign, anything from sabotaging enemy critical assets, Recce, or preparing areas for assaulting forces. This gives us a wide range of operations to do, not focusing too heavily on one and allowing a variety so it's never too boring.

Do you only play in the 1960s?

No, our intent is to progress through time so eventually getting to the 70s 80s and adding more gear and possibly more mission sets for us to do.

Well what roles do you offer?

We offer a lot of the basic roles most do. While we try to make interesting roles a the end of the day without making super niche roles but below are the current roles we have (these are subject to change)

• Rifleman
• Machine Gunner
• Grenadier
• Sharpshooter
• Sapper
• Combat Engineer
• Anti-Tank Specialist
• Medic

What is your training like?

We have 2 trainings for new members. The first is an Orientation to get you on the server with our mods, key binds, a kit etc. This is so when you get on for Operations you are not being a burden to the unit trying to prepare for an op while also trying to get all of this set up for you. After you do this you will be allowed to attend any operation we have.
After this you will wait for us to accrue at least 2 more recruits to conduct a training class. This Class will be used to form the basis of your fireteam. You can get used to working together and then upon your completion of our training phases you will be made a full member and placed as a fireteam within our unit. Completion of your Training is required within a certain amount of time of joining and a class being able to be formed. If no class has been formed for a significant period of time the unit may make an exception and allow you to simply test out of the recruit level.

What's your schedule?

While training will be based upon the recruits ability to attend, the ideal time would be Sundays. Beyond this our ops happen at 8pm CST on Saturdays with fun ops, liberation nights, and other games happening whenever organized.
If any of this interests you or you just want more information feel free to shoot me a message or join our discord: https://discord.gg/rz3EACNWdm
A Recent FTX: https://youtu.be/NAO-xmYmQGg

This is going to be short since I believe I’m over thinking, but today two of my closest friends hung out - the whole day 10am to 4pm - and I was at a family bbq because the UK has been getting good weather. I was not invited to hang out..although either way I would not have been able to go I would have enjoyed an invite atleast. This is not the first time those two friends have hung out, outside of the circle of friends we have but all the others don’t seem to mind so I keep up a facade to not seem..jealous? Envious? I don’t know if I’m being a b”ch or if it’s justified to want an invite to turn down.
Please help!

Friday night my boys and I all went out to a local dive bar. Some of the girls we are friends with met as later that night at the bar as well. So before the boys and I went out my friend “jack” says to me “hey I know ur super close with “nicole” and I was wondering if u could hook me up with her. I think she’s super pretty” and I said sure whatever man I’m always down to help. Nicole and I have been best friends since about freshman year of highschool and have casually hooked up multiple times. For reference I’m 20 and shes 19 and “jack” is 19 as well.
Well the boys and I are at the bar and all the girls come now. So we’re about an hour later I say to “Nicole” “jack thinks ur cute, he’s a good guy u should give him a chance” and Nicole laughs and reply’s with “you know I only want u out of this group right” and I honestly didn’t know what to say to her so I just smiled at her.
Jack sees me talking to Nicole and text me “what did she say” I didn’t want to be mean to the kid but I knew from the beginning he wasn’t Nicole’s type but I didn’t want to beat the kid down.. who knows maybe she would’ve gave him a shot and it worked out well.
It’s getting towards the end of the night now and Nicole texts me (we’re all still together just scattered around) “I wasn’t kidding when I said I only wanted you. Can we you leave with me I’m not feeling good and I want to go home. If not I’ll see if one the girls will leave with me” and I won’t lie I think Nicole is really beautiful and we both had feelings for each other before but never pursued anything. I ended up ubering us back to her house so she wouldn’t be in an Uber alone.
Well jack saw us leaving together and was fluming about it. He later texted me “why would u leave with her, I thought u we’re putting me on with her and now ur hooking up with her?” Now Nicole sees that text while we were laying on her couch and shes pissed at jack. For more context me and Nicole ended up hooking up that night but it wasn’t planned it just happened when we got to her house.
Anyways michael one of my best friends says it was an asshole move on my end for leaving with her right in front of jack, but I explained how she wasn’t feeling good. Michael is the only one that knows me and Nicole hooked up last night. Everyone else knows we hooked up before especially when I’m home on leave.

I got engaged last year and also developed agoraphobia about 7 months prior to my engagement. I’ve put in an immense amount of work and I have been doing a lot better than I was a year ago. I can go places, do things, be in crowds, etc with minimal anxiety but I’m paralyzed planning my wedding.
When I was younger like a lot of girls I had ideas for my wedding and all the things I wanted and now I’m scared. I don’t even want a ceremony because the idea terrifies me. For some reason my panic stems from standing (I broke my leg quite awhile back but it has never really felt “strong” since then).
I almost passed out when I was proposed too, I felt fine in the moment but walking back to the car afterwards I felt like I was going to pass out and started panicking. I’m TERRIFIED of passing out, I don’t know why (maybe the embarrassment of passing out). I cannot fathom passing out or puking or anything on my wedding day.
We’ve talked about just doing the ceremony between us (like at the courthouse) and having a backyard celebration (like a cookout). I’m getting ALOT of negative opinions from my family about this. They think I’m trying to rush the wedding by doing this (we’ve been together for 8 years, I don’t think we’re “rushing” anything and we have been engaged for 8 months). I’m just paralyzed in planning. Whenever we talk about it (my fiance and me) I get anxious. I can’t figure out what to do. I don’t care so much about a wedding anymore than I do a marriage. I love my fiance and just am excited about being married to him, I don’t want it to be a show or big deal for OTHER people but I seem to care a lot about everyone else’s opinions.
Sorry for the long post, I’m just at a loss on how to not feel scared, do what we want to do with confidence, feel secure in my decisions, etc.

It is very embarrassing to me to talk about this, but I need to preface this saying we are obviously adults here in spite of him being many years older than me, he is also divorced so I am obviously not being a homewrecker or hurting anybody.
I have always been into more mature men. I feel more listened, cared and well treated around men that tend to be a bit older than I am. I am not sure if it is a age/maturity thing, or that they have been raised in another time, but they really tend to be more romantic.
I met my friend's father at her birthday dinner 1 month and a few days ago. It is also important to note that we are not like super close friends, but we get to share a friend group. I immediately clicked with this man, he is very and I mean VERY fun to be around, it is quite impossible for him to not make you laugh. We exchanged phone numbers that day and since its been a non stop o messaging. He has done things for me, this little details no one has ever, ordering breakfast with a message or taking me to fancy places. We have been intimate but we always do meet at my place since this way there is no chance that she would pop up.
We both had agreed that this was going to be a temporary thing, that we were just feeling ourselves with no seriousness. I dont exactly know how but my friend realised he has been seeing someone because he looks "happier" to which he replied that he indeed was.
As my friend got more and more insisting in the details he had to lie to her to protect our thing. Now he says he feel bad for having lied to his daughter and he feels guilty. I have proposed on stopped seeing each other but that he is not sure that'd be enough for him to get that off his chest. I dont feel the need to blow things up like this specially if we stop seeing each other NOW. Aitah for just wanting to slide this away and keep our lives? Listening to our brain instead of our heart would be the right idea for me since theres more to lose than it is to win. What should we do?

We work together in the healthcare field. The multifactorial stresses (work, home and this Limerence) have been causing me physical symptoms, one of which is chest pain. So I had to have a chest x-ray and she was involved. Later that day she asked “So, about this chest pain” I explained what happened and we moved past it, in a good way.
On Friday she came and sat down next to me in my office (such as it is, more like a hallway, so not a lot of privacy, really.) She asked how my chest pain was. I told her I was having a rough day. The look on her face was one I had not seen before. She seemed genuinely concerned. She said “It’s sad because I know how much you like your job, but to have to deal with all this.” The look on her face, though. I fell for her all over again.
It was really nice for her to check up on me. It was sweet.
Later on I thanked her for coming to check on me and that I really appreciated it. I told her it filled my heart.
From here, I don’t know what will be. I can’t help but think of her sweetness. I know I still need to keep trying to separate myself from her. But then these things happen.
It could simply be that she is a concerned coworker. But no one else came to me.