Love poems abab

Howdy! It gets pretty lonely out in the middle of nowhere. Looking for people to talk to locally that might make this a little bearable.
A few facts about myself are:
I love animals, especially cats.
I volunteer at a good ministry, and I enjoy helping others.
I'm a good heart who puts friends first.
I can be quite talkative, but not necessarily clingy.
I'm a writer, and I love to make poems for my friends.
I'd love to get to know you, and I'm looking forward to the kind of times we will share.

I truly feel like I’ve found a once in a lifetime kind of love. This man wrote a beautiful poem about me and how beautiful he thinks I am. I feel like the luckiest girl alive

(M19) Tomorrow, I will do my maturita exam. And after that, I dont have any goals because they fell apart last month.
When I was 14, I met a girl in an archery club and I fell in love with her. We started dating but after ten days we broke up. She said she had felt too young for a relationship and I understood it. But she completely cut me off and later I found out that she pretended it so she wouldnt harm me. It was devastating for me and I was feeling depressed for like two years. Because I was encountering her quite frequently and just couldnt get over it. Since that moment, I became extremely introverted, had troubles with trusting people but mostly didnt have any self esteem.
Two years ago, an Ukrainian girl came to uor class (Czechia), she fled from the war. And she was the most beautiful person Ive ever seen. And I couldnt encounter her, I just couldnt because of the past. I became attached to her, I heavily idealized her. She was two months in our class. I had too many negative thoughts, how we wouldnt match, even though I didnt know her. Then Holidays came and I finally decided to encounter her the next school year. But she left to Prague, its on the opposite side of our country.
And since that moment, it was my greatest wish and goal to meet her again. And when I realized that there is a university I wanted to go, my plans began to form. And last summer I wrote her a poem that I would like to meet her. And to my greatest surprise, she agreed. And so I visited her and.. she was better than all my dreams. She was like me. Since that moment, Ive had the happiest part of my life. I visited her on Christmas and it was the best Christmas Ive ever had. I bought her a book and we enjoyed the day. She was visibly happy and I was so happy that we matched together so well.
She was my main motivation to everything, I dedicated my whole future to her. I sent only one application to university. I imagined how we will be together. She was the first girl I started to trust, I overcame all my negative thoughts. I became positive person so much that I convinced myself that she likes me and we will end up together. And in the moment when she sent me her photo sealed it all.
At the start of the last month, she told me that she has a boyfriend. It more than a month and a half and I just cant.. do anything. My greatest wish, my only goal broke. And now I will have to go to study to Prague because its my only choice. It will be painful, everything will remind her.. I wrote dozens of poems about her. I was so happy that it started to fit so nicely together and now.. I dont have anything. And I dont want anyone else, I dont want to be happy without her, I just lost an angel.
I explained everything to her and she understood, she let my to send her all my poems. She was the first one who didnt block me in this situation. She is the kindest person on the Earth. I wrote and sent her a new collection of poems afterwards and it ended there.
I am goind to do my maturita exams, Im one of the smartest students in my school, Im going to study nuclear physics and yet, I hate myself fot being so successful in my school life but I never wanted this. All I want is just love, I dont care if I will have a poor job, or if I will have children, or an expensive house or car, I only want someone who would love me. And all of that I saw in this one girl. And its gone. All my dreams..
My family tried to help me as much as they could.. but they dont know how to help me. I started visiting a psychologist and I take antidepressants. But nothing of it will bring me her back, nothing of it will bring me back the meaning of life, my goals, wishes, dreams.
I dont want to put up with it. I feel like life showed me the best of it and than took it from me. I feel like I wouldnt be ever satisfied with it, like from all the paths that I couldve taken, this one will forever hurt me.
And so, tommorow, my life will just end. And I dont know what to do.
I just so much regret not encountering her while she was in our class. I cant read my poems anymore because its so painful to me.
I worry that I wont be ever able to create such a strong bond to anyone else. Such a strong longig, a desire.

(M19) Tomorrow, I will do my maturita exam. And after that, I dont have any goals because they fell apart last month.
When I was 14, I met a girl in an archery club and I fell in love with her. We started dating but after ten days we broke up. She said she had felt too young for a relationship and I understood it. But she completely cut me off and later I found out that she pretended it so she wouldnt harm me. It was devastating for me and I was feeling depressed for like two years. Because I was encountering her quite frequently and just couldnt get over it. Since that moment, I became extremely introverted, had troubles with trusting people but mostly didnt have any self esteem.
Two years ago, an Ukrainian girl came to uor class (Czechia), she fled from the war. And she was the most beautiful person Ive ever seen. And I couldnt encounter her, I just couldnt because of the past. I became attached to her, I heavily idealized her. She was two months in our class. I had too many negative thoughts, how we wouldnt match, even though I didnt know her. Then Holidays came and I finally decided to encounter her the next school year. But she left to Prague, its on the opposite side of our country.
And since that moment, it was my greatest wish and goal to meet her again. And when I realized that there is a university I wanted to go, my plans began to form. And last summer I wrote her a poem that I would like to meet her. And to my greatest surprise, she agreed. And so I visited her and.. she was better than all my dreams. She was like me. Since that moment, Ive had the happiest part of my life. I visited her on Christmas and it was the best Christmas Ive ever had. I bought her a book and we enjoyed the day. She was visibly happy and I was so happy that we matched together so well.
She was my main motivation to everything, I dedicated my whole future to her. I sent only one application to university. I imagined how we will be together. She was the first girl I started to trust, I overcame all my negative thoughts. I became positive person so much that I convinced myself that she likes me and we will end up together. And in the moment when she sent me her photo sealed it all.
At the start of the last month, she told me that she has a boyfriend. It more than a month and a half and I just cant.. do anything. My greatest wish, my only goal broke. And now I will have to go to study to Prague because its my only choice. It will be painful, everything will remind her.. I wrote dozens of poems about her. I was so happy that it started to fit so nicely together and now.. I dont have anything. And I dont want anyone else, I dont want to be happy without her, I just lost an angel.
I explained everything to her and she understood, she let my to send her all my poems. She was the first one who didnt block me in this situation. She is the kindest person on the Earth. I wrote and sent her a new collection of poems afterwards and it ended there.
I am goind to do my maturita exams, Im one of the smartest students in my school, Im going to study nuclear physics and yet, I hate myself fot being so successful in my school life but I never wanted this. All I want is just love, I dont care if I will have a poor job, or if I will have children, or an expensive house or car, I only want someone who would love me. And all of that I saw in this one girl. And its gone. All my dreams..
My family tried to help me as much as they could.. but they dont know how to help me. I started visiting a psychologist and I take antidepressants. But nothing of it will bring me her back, nothing of it will bring me back the meaning of life, my goals, wishes, dreams.
I dont want to put up with it. I feel like life showed me the best of it and than took it from me. I feel like I wouldnt be ever satisfied with it, like from all the paths that I couldve taken, this one will forever hurt me.
And so, tommorow, my life will just end. And I dont know what to do.
I just so much regret not encountering her while she was in our class. I cant read my poems anymore because its so painful to me.
I worry that I wont be ever able to create such a strong bond to anyone else. Such a strong longig, a desire.

I loved it. The storytelling was out of this world. The way the poem was revealed throughout the album was 🤌🤌. The build up, the pacing, the lyrics, the themes, it was all masterful. I feel like this is an album that is very much meant to be listened to in one piece. And that is a good thing but it also leads into my negative for the album: I wouldn’t want to listen to most of the songs on this album on their own. Like I’m sorry but I’m not gonna think “hmmm I’m in the mood for Institutionalized/ U/ For Free?/ For Sale?/ King Kunta/ Mortal Man today”. I just don’t enjoy these songs on their own. In the context of the album, they work tho. So that’s exactly how I feel about the album. As an album and as one story, it’s fantastic. But there are not that many songs on the album that I enjoy on their own. That all might change with time tho, it usually happens to me with artists that I just got into. It takes time for me to understand how I really feel about their work. But as of rn, that’s how I feel about the album.
TPAB- 8-9/10

Chapter 4
Location: Glimmer Fate
POV: Faror Hend
No rain on the plains in Glimmer Fate. High black grasses make the area extremely hot. Faror Hend is patrolling the edge of the Vitr Sea with her cousin Spinnock Durav. The shore of the Vitr Sea is devoid of life and the breeze coming off of it stings the lungs. The liquid of the sea dissolves almost anything it comes into contact with including stones. Spinnock is sharpening his Hust blade on a stone that has been worn away by the sea. His blade is very old and therefore does not sing. It's new to him, but has been passed down for generations. A third rider in their party, Finarra Stone, was scouting the shoreline out of sight. Nothing lived this close, so it was safe to go alone. Today the Vitr is calm, but recently it has not been and storms had resulted in its claiming more land for the sea. The sea is expanding. Eventually it will come to the border of Kurald Galain if they cannot find a solution. The Tiste have no idea what the source of the Vitr is and how to stop it's expansion. Tiste scholars are also unwilling to consult with anyone outside the Tiste.
Faror Hend is extremely attracted to Spinnock Durav, but their houses are too close in relations for her to act on this attraction. Plus she is betrothed and older, although these would not be a barrier to her. Faror thinks of a line from a Gallan poem, "The ground is bare and hard / and will hold all secrets / and the sky cares not / for the games of those beneath it." She desperately wants to act on her lust, but so far has kept in control. Faror is a big Gallan fan. Spinnock seems to know how his cousin feels and teases her.
POV: Captain Finarra Stone
During her patrol of the Vitr coastline, Finarra finds a carcass. This is puzzling as she has never seen one this close to the sea. It appears to have come out of the sea itself. The corpse is huge with scales and a tail. But a lot of the body eaten away by the Vitr. The head and neck were missing and the top of the torso appears chewed. Very few Tiste had ever claimed to have seen a dragon, but this could be one. However, those legends all had them with wings and Faror did not see any evidence of wings on this beast. A breeze brought the stench to the horse and this caused it to back up a few steps making noise. At this the stump where the neck should be lifted. The creature begins shuffling towards her. With an unbelievably fast lurch it closes the distance and swipes at Faror and her horse with two arms catching the horse with both swipes. Faror finds herself tumbling through the air. She lands on her shoulder and breaks something. The beast is still again after decimating her horse. She decides to head for flatter ground to make better time back to her party. She is the daughter of Hust Henarald and possesses his sword. Her biggest threat now were the naked wolves that roamed Glimmer Fate. Faror contemplates the meaning of dark and light and the impossibility of either without the other. She also says that Mother Dark had been a mortal Tiste woman before embracing darkness. While Finarra is contemplating, something screams at her intending to freeze her with fear. Finarra mortally wounds it as it streaks by.
POV: Faror Hend
Hearing the screams of the wolves and no sound of their prey, Faror fears Finarra is the prey. She has not returned and it has been too long. Faror decides to leave Spinnock at camp and go to investigate. He tells her to be careful and he doesn't want to lose her. She responds by saying that he has many cousins. Faror can hear at least a dozen wolves and knows that it is likely that Finarra is fighting by herself without her horse. Thinking of Spinnock's face, she attempts to replace it in her mind with her betrothed, Kagamandra Tulas. A Tiste who the war had made gaunt. Tulas was of a low house and was under the command of Vatha Urusander. This alone would not have made house Durav attempt a betrothal. However, in the war he had saved the life of Silchas Ruin and by doing so had earned the favor of Mother Dark who would reward him by making him the head of a new High House. She thinks that the war stole Tulas's ability to love anything and she is not sure she can love him either, but she will try.
Eventually she finds the place of the wolf attack. There are many dead wolves. The fighting is over, but she does not see Finarra. She thinks further down the trail she will find wolves eating her corpse. Finarra comes out from behind some boulders. Faror begins to speak, but Finarra tells her to speak softly as something has walked out of the Vitr. Finarra chastises Faror for beginning to follow the path through the grasses that would have led to her death. Faror discovers that she had almost welcomed it. Finarra was tracking whatever had walked out of the Vitr when she came upon Faror. "Small footprints, puddles of Vitr pooled in them" She tells Faror that it is their duty to track it.
POV: Finarra Stone
Finarra in a lot of pain from her shoulder and wolf bites, contemplates the look she caught in Faror's eyes. One that told her she was seeking death. She thinks the cause may be Faror's betrothal to a broken man that may be incapable of love and being in close proximity to Spinnock who oozes it. "Spinnock Durav had been pursued by women and men since he had first come of age. He had learned to not give up too much of himself, since those hands reaching for him desired little more than conquest and possession." Finarra has also caught Spinnock's adoration of his cousin turning in to something else. She knows this kind of torture between them will ruin them. She contemplates how to fix the situation. Transferring one might work, but also thinks of another more sure answer.
POV: Faror Hend
Faror and Finarra are both on the back of Faror's horse. Finarra is unconscious and Faror is having a difficult time keeping her on the horse. She thinks about Finarra only being a few years older than her, but already being a battle veteran. She realizes that the wolves she found were not the ones killed by Finarra, but those of the someone that came from the sea. Faror makes it back to the camp. They treat the unconscious woman's wounds fearing infection.
POV: Spinnock Durav
They had burned away the dead flesh and infection on Finarra's leg hoping they got it all. Finarra has not woken up and is fevered. Spinnock outlines their options whether to stay until Finarra wakes up or to try to transport her as is. Faror informs him that Finarra wanted them to track the stranger from the Vitr. Faror tells Spinnock that Finarra needs a healer and soon, but they also need to track the stranger. Faror will go after the stranger and Spinnock will take Finarra to the outpost. Spinnock follows orders, but now there is a coldness between the cousins.
Following the trail she had discovered the previous night, Faror Hend found several more wolf corpses all killed with savage blows. The path she now followed, if kept straight, would lead directly to Kharkanas. Eventually she comes to a clearing and finds a fair-skinned, blonde woman clothed only in a scaled wolf hide over her shoulders. Everywhere else was sunburnt. She appears young and has no weapon, which is curious considering her roughly cut hair and several wolf corpses. Faror says she means no harm and asks if she is an Azathanai. To this the woman responds, "I know your language. But it is not mine. Azathanai. I know that word. Azat drevlid naratarh Azathanai. The people who were never born." After a few questions that the woman cannot answer, she tells Faror that she recalls nothing not even the sea she came out of or her own name. Faror tells the woman that she will escort her to Kharkanas to meet with Mother Dark and gives the woman a Tiste name until she can recall her own. The name is T'riss. Upon hearing this the woman smiles and says, "I am “born of the sea”. Faror asks if she will walk or ride with her. T'riss says that Faror's horse looks useful and she will have one too. She turns to the grasses and conjures a horse out of them. It seems that it's weight is too much for the grasses used. Looking at Faror, T'riss then conjures clothes, lance, and a sword out of the same grasses. This scares Faror because it is god-like sorcery. "‘Mother Dark.’ T’riss smiled. ‘That is a nice title.’"
Location: 3 days out from Neret Sorr
POV: Sharenas Ankhadu
Sharenas likes the heat. She tans nice unlike most of her cohort. She hates the cold and remembers her time in the campaign against the Jheleck unfondly. She is the commander of her cohort. Her sister and cousin, Infayen Menand and Tathe Lorat, are greatly renowned in the legion and being related to them saw high expectations settled onto Sharenas's shoulders. Her relatives are not currently with the legion. Hunn Raal and Osserc are in the vanguard and Ilgast Rend was not happy to be with them. He questions whether or not Urusander knows what Hunn Raal is doing. Osserc backs up Raal and so Ilgast drops the inquiry. Sharenas thinks Osserc is lying when he says his father knows of and approves this expedition. Sharenas thinks, "Hunn Raal is honourable. He knows what he is doing, and he knows, as do we all, that what he is doing is the right thing to do" She thinks Osserc is impulsive and has a thin skin, but Hunn Raal keeps him from making brash decisions. 3 cousins of Hunn Raal also accompanied them. Serap, Risp, and Sevegg all sleep with Hunn Raal, but their second cousins so it's not illegal. The last of their party is Kagamandra Tulas. He is forbidding and dangerous and hadn't spoken since their departure. They are heading towards the Warden outpost where Tulas's betrothed is stationed. Sharenas asserts that every woman could see that Tulas is dead inside and left his soul in the war. That he longs for death. She contemplates that once Urusander remakes the Tiste into a meritocracy, that arranged marriages will no longer be. Ironically because Tulas had given so much in defense of the Tiste he would be a prize as a husband. She pities Faror Hend and her future with this man. However she considers that Faror, just days after the betrothal, signed up with the wardens to get herself as far away as possible. Sharenas is very interested in witnessing the meeting between Tulas and Faror. She resolves to help Faror out of her predicament although it is only for her own amusement.
POV: Ilgast Rend
Ilgast does not like Hunn Raal or Osserc, thinking the former vain and arrogant and the latter nothing like his father except in appearance. Ilgast does not approve of all the debauchery that his fighting had bought for the Tiste. He thinks that Urusander has lost the plot himself. It wouldn't be long before the legion rebelled under his indifference. He would love it if Draconus was put in his place, but fears this would result in great bloodshed and does not want that. He also knows that if Hunn Raal is allowed to lead the legion in Urusander's absence, civil war was assured. "In a world of blood, everyone drowns". Ilgast is disappointed in Sharenas, thinking she would be wise enough not to fall into the wake of Hunn Raal. He feels he is in the middle of this brewing conflict being of a major house and also a cohort commander in Urusander's legion. Hunn Raal thinks he will help him convince the wardens to join his cause. However, he knows Calat Hustain will not join Hunn Raal. He is far too loyal to his own house. Ilgast remembers when Mother Dark was just a Tiste woman until she found the Gate. "Darkness was many things; most of all, it was selfish"

What’s cheating to you? 30F with 29M
We’ve been together for three years and I thought it was going great until I found he had been messaging an old girlfriend a few days ago he doesn’t seem to think it’s cheating! They haven’t been together for around 8 years and he says they weren’t fully together but I found love poems to her on his phone a year into our relationship. Just for context this guy doesn’t delete anything off his phone and we’ve been very open he can go on my phone and vice versa. I went on there a few days back and my gut instinct just told me to check his instagram and I seen there was a profile in requests and he hadn’t long sent a message to this girl.. tbh i didn’t think much of it and I didn’t click to see the message exchange as I thought I was in a honest relationship and I share everything with him and he would do the same. Fast forward to today he gave me his phone and I thought let me go back and check as curiosity got the better of me and he hasn’t mentioned anything of this girl… the whole chat was gone! So I simply questioned who he was speaking 2? was there anything I should know and he said nothing so then I confronted him on deleting chats he acted clueless asked what I knew I then told him he knows what I’m talking about so tell me the information he said it was a old friend and it was a quick catch up nothing more.. he’s down played the whole situation after a few hours I looked on her profile and finally realised who she actually was! And I’ve confronted him as he has lied and said it was a friend but Ive never wrote a love poems for any of my friends and I don’t want to get my friends in bed! As I don’t know what was said and I will never know now as I didn’t read the exchange I requested him to messaged her asking for the chat exchange to prove that he’s telling the truth as I expressed he’s broken my trust and I feel he has cheated! ( might be pregnancy hormones) he doesn’t think what he has done is a form of cheating and he thinks Reddit users well everyone would agree with him! He’s spun this back onto myself says I’m a nasty person etc I feel this is very toxic and I need him out of my space so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Is that a form of cheating? Or am I overreacting about the situation? How can I show him what he’s done is wrong?

Hi, I’ll read the book (or any other writing piece) you’re working on and give you my critiques on overall plot and its structure and development. I’ll also give you my notes on characters and their development. If you only have a few chapters written, I’ll read them and give you my notes on the things mentioned above.
Any genre is fine. Some of my favorite genres are sci-fi, adult fiction, the classics, YA, fantasy, “chick-lit”, and what I usually refer to as “slice of life fiction”. I like creepy books as well. I’m not the biggest fan of hardcore horror books, but I’ll still read them for you.
I love the art of storytelling. I watch a lot of movies, and I write about them. I also took a few courses in literary analysis in college, so I do have experience with criticism and analysis. I, of course, love to read. I’d say I’m not a total speed reader, but I can read relatively quickly. I also enjoy writing poetry and was doing that for a bit for money before chat gpt shut that down.
This goes without saying, but I will not share your work with anyone. It’s yours, and I’m not out here trying to take ideas. I’m only trying to help you shape it into the best version it can be and something that you’re completely satisfied with. I can also help you if you’re stuck and give you suggestions.
$5 for short stories, poems, 60 page books
$10 for books longer than 60 pages
If you can only do PayPal friends and family then I can do that, but I prefer Venmo. Thank you.

There is significant repetition of these numbers popping up in both Taylor and Matty's public works so I thought I would bring it up and see what you all think and if you have noticed other instances that I'm missing. Sorry in advanced for this being long, but there is a lot.
Let's start with the most well-known one: 13

• I think that even casual fans know that Taylor considers 13 her lucky number. Her birthday is 12/13/1989. She's had some significant milestones in her career surrounding the number 13 and she famously wrote 13 in marker on her hand during the Fearless era. She continues to reference this number in track listings - even TTPD is 31 tracks, so 13 transposed.
• the poem Stevie Nicks wrote for TTPD has two dates written on it: Aug 13, 2023 and Sept 13th 8:05pm. Obviously the 13th in both dates is interesting but if you start adding things up you will see these dates are very significant. The 8:05 will give you 8+5=13. There is more to these dates as well.
• In numerology, we often add numbers together to get a single digit. 1+3 = 4.

8's - The public announcement of Taylor and Matty's relationship came on 5/3/2023. 5+3 = 8...8 is the infinity symbol. - In the Eras Tour, the stage roomba makes an infinity sign during Down Bad. - In numerology, 8 also rules the planet Saturn. This brings to mind "love you to the moon and Saturn" but also, Taylor wears a Vivienne Westwood choker during her performance of But Daddy I Love Him (she has one in black and one in white), with the symbol of Saturn topped by a cross that looks very reminiscent of a king chesspiece: https://www.harrods.com/en-us/shopping/agate-crystal-messaline-choker-22340482?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwxqayBhDFARIsAANWRnRG1PyYR_3UcHl3igFeRHsyBkMHMWPgAv6-vIx01S9r3lBHNEvlwg0aAqz4EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds - 4 is obviously half of 8 - 8+9 = 17 and 7+1 = 8 (as in 1989) - 2024 is said to be a year of 8's, because 2+2+4 = 8. There is other symbolism associated with this number but this post is already super long.
4's & 2's - The number 4 has been showing up a lot recently. Matty flashed the number 4 to the camera during a set while they were dating (couldn't find the video but if someone finds it, I will edit to add it). - Taylor has famously been flashing peace signs and even put a statue of a peace sign in her TTPD exhibit at The Grove. Thought to be an easter egg for the double album but she continued doing it after the albums release. - Obviously, 2 + 2 = 4. But 4 can also be broken down into two pairs of 1's. Twin flame numbers are 1111 (so 4), and 2222 (so 8) respectively. - Taylor & Matty are both fire signs. Twin flames are often described as mirroring each other.
3's - Graphically, a 3 is half of 8 (especially in certain fonts). - In ATPOIAM, episode 2, entitled Fame (, https://youtu.be/44ezfnnRE0k?si=YcLcKnJrPHWY-Yyc) Matty stuffs himself into a suitcase (a story long told about Taylor was that she stuffed herself in a suitcase to escaped the hordes of paparazzi and fans when leaving her apartment). The suitcase has the number 3 on it and the elevator goes to the 3rd floor (despite the next shot being on them outside of The Bowery hotel). I've stayed at the Bowery, the 3rd floor is not how you get outside, lol. - TaylorNation put out a promo video that was a mash up of 1989 era images, it featured a vault and it also featured a clip from the Bejeweled music video (which has other interesting references to things happening right now), but Taylor was pressing the button for the 3rd floor (not in the original video). Everyone thought this indicated a big surprise coming on 5/3/2024 (2 weeks after the TTPD release). Much clowning ensued, nothing happened...except Matty posted a cover of his song "All I Need To Hear" to his IG. - Bejeweled MV was released on 10/25/2022...10+25 = 53 and 5+3 = 8 OR 1 + 2 + 5 = 8. 222 is an angel number related to soul mates.
I'm sure that I didn't even write out half of the things I've noticed because this post is getting unweildy but if there are other numerology nerds and people who have noticed this repetition, please add your observations!
Edit to add: Matty's birthday! 04/08/1989 so 4's and 8's abound!

I can only recall quotes from 2 poems for love relationships that being sonnet 29 and when we two parted. Any advice on what poems to learn?

does anyone know what to compare singh song to i have no idea help

Dear D...
Before I met you, I always felt like there was something missing in my heart, ever since I was really young; there was something that no matter how much I tried to replace I could never succeed. The thoughts of this hole in my heart being existent for the rest of my life felt soothing eventually but also painful multiple times. I always felt like an outcast no matter how much I tried to fit in, no matter how close I got to my friends. When you came, all those thoughts, all those feelings got away...
When I first met you, my whole world turned upside down. The shock that flowed through felt electric, like I touched a generator that collects energy. I could feel your gaze penetrate mine and vice versa. Then we looked away and shortly aftet we persuaded each other. I was more vocal and direct, you were more quiet and stood close to me all the time. I was sensitive and tense, you were more detached and chill. The moments I talked to you felt like paradise, it felt like I was talking to a long lost friend, to a brother from an another lifetime. In our dreams the roles would be reversed all the time: I would become the quiet and cold one and you would be the sunshine boy filled with happiness and joy. And of course you were the hugger. The nerve.
I wanted to be in your presence all the time, but I was scared of the intensity as well. I could tell you were also scared of it, but everytime I was chasing, you were running. Everytime I was running you were chasing. We were never in the middle. We had different methods to cope with the connection, because we were never fully direct with each other. I would have panic attacks and cry on the corridors when no one was around and later listen to music that reminded me of you, wrote poems about you and started to draw you out of the back of my mind. It felt uncanny how much you looked just like in the drawings. You would deal with it by drinking and overthinking and later outright confess to me overnight, the last night we were together. Then we separated. I needed time to reflect, something I did for the sake of both of us. You felt hurt and I felt hurt, but we needed space. I needed space. I felt like I was too much for you, and you did not deserve me.
That is when I started to grow. To change, to try and stand up and live my life the way I used to. I thought I would go back to my heart having that hole again, and dealing with it like old times, again. But the hole was no longer there. Because you filled that place in my heart. You and only you. And the pain became more powerful. I hurt even more because the separation made me wish I was in your presence more, to just hold you and never let you go. To tell you that I love you back, but I knew you would not believe me. You would think I would only say it back out of pity, not honesty. Because you have your own demons in your head, your own voices that make you overthink. Those voices are louder then my own voice.
Then I learned about the connection. At first I left it at chance. I had moments when I was going back to you, and moments when I was leaving you. Eventually you came back, and hugged me and took a photo with me and your best friend. You asked me if things will be the same between us. I had no response. I wanted to go back to it, but I knew it would be wrong. You wanted me back but I knew you did not evolve properly. You missed me, the same I missed you if not more but as the more awakened one I had to push you away. I told you eventually that I love you back the same way you told me: through text. You denied it and thought that I was just messing with you. You stopped talking to me. I know I hurt you, but I wanted to let you know as well. I hurt you because I love you.
Months went by and I learned to not let my anger take the best of me. To not let our past define our future. I learned to love myself, use the energy you gave me, both good and bad and embrace it. You were the reflection of my shadow self, who wants to tell people sometimes to stopp bugging me and that wants to be alone sometimes and I was your shadow self, the part that you keep locked because you got hurt: the kind, loyal and naive side of you that I showcase on the outside. I kept running into you; twin flame numbers kept pestering me. Dreams kept influencing me. But I had to stay away. I could see in your eyes that you were expecting me to make a move sometimes, smile at me warmly and just stare. But you were also mirroring me; if I was away, you were also away. Then I came back to you and you felt like I was just talking to you out of pity. So you let your ego out on me again.
You cant fully grasp the connection and how this experience should transform you, not just make you feel better. That you should heal wounds, not use me as a distraction for your own pain. Our dreams were almost always manifested by you; they always appeared when I was thinking the least about you, and in them you always wanted to do something with me. You might had good intentions, but you were also taking away my energy. The energy that I would use to heal would be drained because you were taking part of it for yourself. Because you did not had your own energy to use. Because you dont want to use your own healing process and make your own energy. I learned to love myself and also to love my friends and the friendships I had with them and the blessing that comes with having such strong bonds. I learned what I want in a partner and how my life should be settled for here on out. But I know deep down that I wont love anyone as much as you. Its just not possible. They will have another place in my heart, another type of love, but no one could replace you and I know this is gonna be vice versa for you as well. From what I have seen you still did not hook up with anyone after I came in your life; for the record you ironically broke up with your girlfriend around the time I came in your life and were super curious whenever there was a girl I had a crush on.
And as much as I love you, I cant allow this. I have to block you out through every way possible. I cant force you to change for the better, but maybe if you dont have me or my energy to use, there could be a chance. We will also separate fully in a couple of weeks with me off to college and you in your last year of highschool. Maybe my full absence will help you grow, just like how I felt when I experienced the separation a year ago. Again, I hurt you because I love you. If you heal yourself you know you can find me. When you are healed just call me and I will answer. Until then you have to be put away from my mind and energy. I will be fine, I will live my life and enjoy my part of it. I will miss you every single day, but I will remind myself of how you are not healed and how you need this space for yourself. Even if this space will still make me wish to hold you in my arms, and hold you as tight as possible.
Goodbye D. Until we meet again, I hope you will have a great life ahead of you and I hope we will reunite eventually... when both of us are healed. If we dont then... I guess see you in the next lifetime.
I love you.

I read a quote recently that said “if you want something be the type of person who has it.” So, for example, if you would like to receive love letters, be the type of person who writes them. If you would like to be invited to parties, be the type of person who hosts them, so on and so forth.
I’m trying, still, after two years to process the grief of losing you and to process the grief of all that was lost during our relationship, including pieces of my innocence and my dignity, pieces, I dare say, I will never be able to recover. You hurt me in the worst ways imaginable yet still I can’t hate you. I won’t. Everybody says that I should and that whatever love I have fantasized in my head towards you is merely the limerence that results from Stockholm Syndrome. An obsession one would hold towards a hateful caregiver in an infantilized state.
Though, I’m not so sure. I am loathe to believe the love I hold towards you is fetishized grief. I am hoping that by putting these letters out into the void I will gain some temporary relief from the pain of your absence, at the least, and at most I will begin to build a bridge over that dark and glowering moat of grief that has kept me tethered to the past, tethered to the abusive and turbulent relationship which left me with nothing but debt to be repaid by a wandering life of pain, misery, and an emptiness never to be filled by love in the same way.
Oh how I admired you, oh man of mine. How I wanted to grasp onto every word that came out of your mouth when you were discussing your ideas. How your poems, though a little prose-like and robotic, made me sink faster into the pit of infatuation. I was in love with you. Obsessed. I wish I could have recorded the sound of your voice when you talked about science. I wish I could have mended the pain of your abandonment in adolescence. I wish I could have been the support you needed even when you pushed me away and put me down. I wish I could have healed the parts of you that were so broken to make you believe that stealing from me would somehow fill your empty cup.
But you cut off the bottom of the glass and no amount of debauchery could ever leave you more full than you were before. No amount of purity stolen from me could mend the agony you had held onto for far too long.
I am still left wondering, now, without you even by my side to soothe the wounds you had inflicted, why you chose me to steal from? Was everything really as you said? Was I too unlovable for the mistakes I had made in the past? Hadn’t I more than atoned for them with everything you had put me through? Was I really someone you loathed, who you couldn’t rest easy with at night? Was I really such a burden because I was too nervous around the crowds you chose to surround us with at the nightclubs or too sheepish about my femininity to ever be as sexy as you wanted? Where is the line? What was real and what was fake? Was there anything you liked about me at all, or did you just enjoy the joy and admiration I had for you?
When will my lonely heart stop pining over someone who hates me? If you hated me so, why didn’t you simply leave? Why did you always persuade me back into staying with your sweet words and your grand gestures?
I would say I miss you, but to miss someone is to know them truly and be abashed by their absence. I don’t know you anymore so I can’t miss you. Did I ever know you?
Part of my life has come full circle and now I am starting to wonder if any of it was ever real? The memories are so fleeting and time has warped along with everything around it. I feel alone in this universe. Nothing feels real. Were we just a dream? A requiem for a nightmare? Did any of it ever happen? Why has it all just faded into a distant memory, seared like a firestone against the forefront of my subconscious?
How are you? Do you think this way too? Why did you hurt me so much that I had no choice but to leave? Was I really so reprehensible?
Or, was it you whom you hated for your inability to love someone who had given everything to be with you?
All I know is that I didn’t deserve to be discounted and discarded the way I was. I may never be able to recover some of the innocence I lost while we were in it, but my heart, with each passing day, still feels mightily pure. Your hatred did not win, and my love for you does not cease.
From M. To J.

I've been in a long term relationship before and my friends viewed it as a toxic one but I was blinded with love and viewed it as a passionate fiery type of love with so many ups and downs. However, we broke up and like many people, the breakup tore me to pieces and shattered me.
So recently I opened myself up to someone. And I know he loves me because not only does he say it, he proves it. But coming from my past trauma and experiences, there are times where I doubt his sincerity.
There are days though where I came to realize that he loves me more than I know. There are days where my requests to him are hard to do either because he's busy or there have been changes in the supposed plans etc.
In my past relationship, things like this makes my ex angry. We would fight over it and he will do his little pity party to sway me from my choices. Still, he will still do my requests but you can see and feel his reluctance. He will get mad at the little inconveniences and that will be the start of another argument.
I remember this feeling of being scared of meeting my present partner because it felt like he was mad during our conversation via chat. The feeling of wanting to run away from the confrontation is overwhelming me and I have rehearsed everything that I can say and explain to calm his angry self.
But you know what? The tense feeling subsided when I faced him. He was smiling at me and there was never any hint of anger, of annoyance, or of anything that I need to protect myself from. He was there in front of me so calm and at peace. All my defenses fell and I was left in shock, confused as to what I should say and feel. It was all new to me and it felt so different, it was different.
I never realized until then what a peaceful and calm love was. I never experienced not trying to defend myself from my partners. I was always putting up walls, hiding and keeping things to myself for fear of another argument. It was always just me regardless if I was in a relationship or not. But now I realized that with the right person, it's okay to open up slowly. It is okay to be vulnerable. It is okay to depend on others and it is okay to just be you.
To you my love, I know it's never easy to love me. I have so many things to work out on and everyday I try my best. I doubt a lot of things and I doubt even our relationship. Regardless of what I am, my fears, my past, and who I was and who I am now, it never made you faltered. From the beginning until now, you stood by me supporting me and helping me along the way. You are the very definition of every poem and love letters that I saved. You are what makes me warm and safe all day. You are what all those songs I put on repeat all day. You are what makes me so much at peace. And you are what makes me want to live just for another day.
Thank you, for making me experience at least once what the love I used to read and wished for really feels like. What love is really supposed to be. There will never be enough words to express how grateful I am to ever meet you. I love you, and I hope one day I can love you more than you can love me because my dear, you really deserve everything and all the good things that the world can ever give.

Hi guys,
Love, love, and love. A wandering hopeful romantic searching for love.
Me:
A Texan through and through, with roots in small towns and residence in the big city. I am currently pursuing a career in health-care as a medical student, and I moved to Chicago for that reason. Finally, I am of South Asian descent, which adds a touch of cultural richness to the mix.
Hobbies/Interests: If we share the same interests, then that is great. It's not necessary, though. I value a connection over shared hobbies.
One of my favorite pastimes is watching movies. I have frequent movie nights. Some showings include: "Inception", "Godzilla Minus One", "The Thing" (1982), "Whiplash", and "Shutter Island". Snacks and drinks are included. Terence Fletcher is mean, but my cooking is meaner. I enjoy exploring various cuisines at restaurants, and I enjoy trying new recipes when cooking at home. A few of my favorite cuisines are: Thai, Mediterranean, and Indian. I balance out the snacking, drinking (virgin), and eating by being active. I frequently run, walk, and lift. You might have seen me running on Bloomingdale Park Trail or walking along Union Park. A few other interests are reading, boardgames, videogames, and learning a language. I love the competitiveness, strategizing, and fantasy involved in boardgames, but I think Robinson Crusoe (novel character) has the upper hand in those areas. I think it would be fun to have our conversations in another language and whisper sweet nothings to each other. Mon amour. Mahal ko.
Personality:
I am a combination of reserved and adventurous, leaning towards seriousness yet showcasing a playful side when I'm comfortable with someone. I find comfort in being a homebody, but I do emerge from my cave. I strive to go the extra mile for my partner, and I always try to showcase of my love for someone through cards, poems (albeit poorly written), and physical affection.
Physical Description:
My hair cascades in subtle curles at mid-neck-length. I am a fan of the clean-shaven aesthetic, but I occasionally sport well-maintained stubble. My complexion is caramel that is accompanied by dark brown eyes. I have a slim-to-average physique, and I stand at a height of 5'7".
You:
I am searching for someone who values a healthy and active lifestyle, someone who takes care of themselves physically. While physical compatibility is important, I value a shared commitment to overall wellness. Intimacy and romance (sweet sweet love) are important to me, and I like physical affection a lot (a lot). Admittedly, I do like someone that is slightly clingy. It's nice to feel wanted. I would like someone that is vulnerable because it builds a stronger connection. I deeply appreciate the intimacy it fosters. I desire a partner who values companionship and reciprocity, understanding that mutual effort and appreciation are fundamental. I'm drawn to qualities like open-mindedness, calmness, and versatility in a potential partner. A lot of sweetness, a dash of spice, and a little chemical X.
Stuff:
Religion & Politics:
I'm personally not religious. I'm open-minded towards all religious affiliations and welcome the opportunity to learn about different faiths. Similarly, my political stance isn't easily boxed into conservative or democratic ideologies. I value the continuous evolution of my political beliefs, emphasizing independent thinking and the avoidance of polarizing partisan politics.
Kids & Pets:
I've made the decision not to have children. For me, it's about prioritizing my partner, hobbies, and career. I opt not to have pets due to lifestyle constraints, financial considerations, and personal preferences. I simply have no interest in having pets, but I'd be willing to accommodate.

• Consistent communication and a genuine desire to converse are all that I ask. Please. If you're not interested, honesty is appreciated – I won't take it personally.

Tour Concert : LOVE, POEM IN SEOUL
Disc 1 :
Love for Moment
– Opening
– Unlucky
– Palette
– Autumn Morning
– Friday
– Secret Garden
Love for Message
– The Visitor
– Red Queen
– Jam Jam
– Twenty Three
– BBIBBI
– Hold my hand
– Blueming
Disc 2 :
Love for Meaning
– Meaning Of You
– Knees
– Bad Day
– Child Searching for a Star
– Lullaby
– Through The Night
Love for Miracle
– Sogyeokyeong
– The Red Shoe
– Above The Time
– You & I
Encore
– Good Day
– Love Poem
https://whalehd.com/11460674.html

Idk if it's just me but I do love and relationships and I'm feeling quite overwhelmed with leaning structure and stuff because I've been focusing on the upcoming exams before so my memory about most of the poems is quite rusty and I don't know if I'm cooked or not, because I literally cannot remember structure.