Modeling chocolate, also known as chocolate clay or candy clay, is a versatile and edible medium used by pastry chefs and cake decorators to create intricate decorations, sculptures, and cake toppers. Made from just two ingredients – chocolate and corn syrup – modeling chocolate is easy to make and can be shaped into virtually any design imaginable. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll take you through the process of making modeling chocolate from scratch, offering tips and tricks to help you master this essential skill in the world of pastry arts.
Ingredients:
12 ounces (340g) high-quality chocolate (dark, milk, or white) 1/3 cup (80ml) light corn syrup Instructions:
Chop the Chocolate: Start by chopping the chocolate into small, uniform pieces using a sharp knife or a chocolate chipper. The smaller the pieces, the easier it will be to melt the chocolate evenly. Melt the Chocolate: Place the chopped chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pot of simmering water, creating a double boiler. Make sure the bottom of the bowl doesn’t touch the water. Stir the chocolate frequently with a heatproof spatula until it is completely melted and smooth. Cool the Melted Chocolate: Once the chocolate has melted, remove the bowl from the heat and allow it to cool slightly. It’s important not to add the corn syrup to hot chocolate, as it can cause the mixture to seize. Add the Corn Syrup: Gradually add the corn syrup to the melted chocolate, stirring constantly with a spatula or wooden spoon until fully incorporated. The mixture will become thick and slightly sticky. Knead the Mixture: Transfer the chocolate mixture onto a clean work surface that has been lightly dusted with powdered sugar or cornstarch to prevent sticking. Begin kneading the chocolate with your hands, using a folding and pressing motion, until it becomes smooth and pliable. This process may take several minutes, so be patient. Test the Consistency: To test the consistency of the modeling chocolate, pinch off a small piece and roll it between your fingers. It should be soft, flexible, and hold its shape without cracking. If the mixture is too dry, add a small amount of corn syrup and continue kneading until the desired consistency is reached. Wrap and Rest: Once the modeling chocolate is smooth and pliable, shape it into a ball and wrap it tightly in plastic wrap. Allow the chocolate to rest at room temperature for at least 1-2 hours, or until it firms up slightly. This resting period allows the chocolate to fully set and develop its elasticity, making it easier to work with. Store Properly: Store any unused modeling chocolate in an airtight container at room temperature for up to several weeks. If the chocolate becomes too firm after storage, simply knead it gently with your hands until it softens to the desired consistency. Tips and Tricks:
Use high-quality chocolate for the best results. Avoid using chocolate chips or candy melts, as they may not have the same smooth texture and flavor as couverture chocolate. Dark chocolate produces a firmer modeling chocolate, while milk or white chocolate creates a softer, more pliable consistency. If the modeling chocolate becomes too sticky or greasy while kneading, allow it to rest for a few minutes or refrigerate it briefly until it firms up slightly. Experiment with different flavors by adding extracts, spices, or food coloring to the chocolate mixture before kneading. Modeling chocolate can be rolled, cut, shaped, and molded into various decorations, figures, flowers, and more. Let your creativity run wild! Conclusion: Mastering the art of making modeling chocolate opens up a world of creative possibilities in the realm of pastry arts and cake decorating. With just two simple ingredients and a few basic techniques, you can create edible masterpieces that will impress and delight your friends, family, and clients. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced pastry chef, learning how to make modeling chocolate is a skill worth mastering for any aspiring confectionery artist.

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:
   
   • Some frogs can freeze completely and survive during winter.
   • Octopuses have three hearts and blue blood.
   • Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating.
2. Unusual Historical Nuggets:
   
   • Ancient Greeks used to exercise in the nude during the Olympics.
   • The shortest war in history was between Britain and Zanzibar in 1896 and lasted only 38 minutes.
   • In the 1800s, radium was used in various products, including toothpaste and hair tonics.
3. Science and Technology Oddities:
   
   • The first computer mouse was made of wood.
   • A toaster uses almost half as much energy as a full-sized oven.
   • A single strand of spaghetti is called a "spaghetto."
4. Language and Linguistic Quirks:
   
   • The longest word in the English language with all its letters in alphabetical order is "almost."
   • "Uncopyrightable" is the longest word in the English language that can be written without repeating any letters.
   • The sentence "Go, hang a salami! I'm a lasagna hog!" is a palindrome, meaning it reads the same backward as forward.
5. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:
   
   • Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain in the world when measured from base to peak. That title goes to Mauna Kea in Hawaii.
   • Japan is made up of 6,852 islands.
   • More people speak English in China than in the United States.
6. Human Achievements and Records:
   
   • The longest wedding veil measured over 22,000 feet long.
   • The world record for the most number of people hula hooping simultaneously is 4,483.
   • The longest time spent balancing on one foot is 76 hours and 40 minutes.
7. Food and Culinary Marvels:
   
   • Carrots used to be purple before a genetic mutation turned them orange.
   • The world's most expensive spice by weight is saffron.
   • The largest pizza ever made measured 131 feet in diameter.
8. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:
   
   • The first video uploaded to YouTube was titled "Me at the zoo" and featured one of the co-founders.
   • "The Simpsons" holds the record for the most guest stars featured in a television series.
   • The actor who played Darth Vader, David Prowse, never watched any of the "Star Wars" movies.
9. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:
   
   • In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
   • In England, it's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
   • In Samoa, it's forbidden to forget your wife's birthday.
10. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:
    
    • A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale.
    • Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs.
    • A shrimp's heart is located in its head.

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:

• Some frogs can freeze solid during winter and thaw out in spring, continuing their lives.
  
• Anteaters have no teeth and consume up to 30,000 insects a day with their long tongues.
  
• Male penguins propose to their lifelong mates by giving them a pebble.
  

1. Unusual Historical Nuggets:

• The oldest known "your mom" joke was discovered on a 3,500-year-old Babylonian tablet.
  
• Ancient Romans used urine as a teeth-whitening agent due to its ammonia content.
  
• The Boston Tea Party, often seen as a rebellion against high taxes, was more a protest against a tax cut.
  

1. Science and Technology Oddities:

• A single strand of human hair can support up to 100 grams in weight.
  
• The world's first computer programmer was Ada Lovelace, who worked on Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine in the mid-1800s.
  
• There are more possible iterations of a game of chess than there are atoms in the known universe.
  

1. Language and Linguistic Quirks:

• The word "set" has the highest number of different meanings in the English language.
  
• The longest word in the English language without a vowel is "rhythms."
  
• The word "facetious" contains all the vowels in alphabetical order.
  

1. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:

• The country of Monaco is smaller than New York City's Central Park.
  
• There are more public libraries in the U.S. than McDonald's restaurants.
  
• Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain on Earth when measured from base to peak; Mauna Kea in Hawaii holds that record.
  

1. Human Achievements and Records:

• The longest duration spinning a Guinness World Records book on one finger is 4 hours and 25 minutes.
  
• The record for the most push-ups in one hour is 2,806.
  
• The world record for the longest handshake is 42 hours.
  

1. Food and Culinary Marvels:

• The first product to have a barcode scanned for purchase was Wrigley's Juicy Fruit chewing gum.
  
• The world's most expensive burger costs $5,000 and contains gold leaf, caviar, and truffles.
  
  • The world's largest chocolate bar weighed over 12,770 pounds.

1. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:

• The first movie ever made was the 1895 film "Roundhay Garden Scene," lasting about 2.11 seconds.
  
• The world's most-watched television event is the Super Bowl.
  
• The shortest film ever nominated for an Oscar is "Fresh Guacamole," which runs for 1 minute and 40 seconds.
  

1. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:

• In Switzerland, it's illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM in an apartment building.
  
• In Canada, it's illegal to use comic sans in official government documents.
  
• In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
  

1. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:

- Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs. - Human bones are ounce for ounce four times stronger than concrete. - A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale. 

The new gift-specific dialogue from the 1.6 update has me absolutely tickled pink! This one especially… I also haven’t practiced my creative writing in a while, and I decided it needed to happen sooner rather than later, so here, have a short story! Sorry if it's boring… I’m a little rusty!
“A Gift From The Void”
It was only yesterday… No one was quite sure where it had come from. There had been a sinister cackling noise ringing through the night air and Abigail had mentioned seeing an unidentifiable shape soaring through the sky during her walk home from the cemetery. The townsfolk gossiped and speculated about what it could have been that evening, but by the next morning they still hadn’t come to any reasonable explanation. It was only yesterday, and yet the entire village seemed to have already put it out of their minds and moved on. The scandal and chatter following the “Anchovy Soup Incident” at the Summer Luau several years back had lasted far longer than this… Even now Sam was still getting sideways glances whenever he got within a 20 foot radius of the soup cauldron, but this just blows over in less than a day? The priorities of small town people were strange.
Things had gone back to that same semblance of backwater, middle-of-nowhere kind of normal, and now the night had become just the same as any other Friday evening. Sebastian was playing a round of billiards with Sam, and while Sam was preoccupied with lining up the cue with his intended target ball, the farmer strolled into the saloon and up to the bar. Heads turned and raised to the newcomer for a moment before returning to whatever it was that had been previously holding their attention. Sebastian caught the sudden flourish of movement out of his periphery, but didn’t pay it much mind. The farmer ordered a coffee and a plate of the night’s special, and struck up a conversation with Gus about a peculiar egg that had materialized in their coop seemingly out of nowhere the night before. Apparently they’d decided to tuck it away into the incubator and wait to see what… if anything hatched from it.
Sebastian had never really been one to eavesdrop, but the wait for Sam to make his move was becoming boring, and sometimes the stories that passed around the saloon on Friday evenings got interesting depending on who all was involved. The story didn’t really go too far into detail. The farmer poked at their food until it had cooled enough to not scald the inside of their mouth, then they took a few bites before bringing up the events of the previous evening. What first started off as a funny story seemed to turn into some deep discussion with Gus about the mysteries of life. Eventually, Willy and Elliott were caught up in the mirth and it turned into a medley of strange tales from faraway lands and once-upon-a-times. Obviously exaggerated sightings of fearsome creatures on a midnight stormy sea, legends of colossal white whales, references to works written by masters of the mystery genre, as well as some from a trashy neo-noir novel or two that had probably been picked up from a bookstore clearance shelf.
Willy stroked his beard and mused about some daring battle between himself and a fish of questionable proportions that seemed to grow larger each time he told the story. Sebastian had heard this one before. The fight over the line had gone on for over an hour before the shadow of the fish rose near to the surface, and just before Willy could land the monster of a catch, it dove below again, taking the whole fishing rod overboard and nearly Willy himself with it.
Elliott gulped down the last few swigs of ale in his tankard, slapped the farmer firmly on the back, snorted and chuckled in an ungraceful yet jolly display that only ever crept out of him when he’d had a bit too much to drink.
“That fish becomes more miraculous each time he talks about it!” Elliott shook his head and smiled as he leaned almost a little too far forward. There was a slight sway to his posture and he tried to straighten his body back in line with the barstool. “To life, and her many little silly tricks of fate, my friends!” he declared. He raised the empty mug, and with his free hand, delicately tucked a few strands of stray hair behind his ear with the tips of his fingers. He rested his elbow back on the bar before he could lose his balance and sighed contently. Elliott’s cheeks were practically glowing red at this point and it was a wonder that he wasn’t slurring his words yet.
“Aye, you’ve all heard my fish story haven’t ye?” Willy chuckled. “How ‘bout the one about the Baba Yaga?” the farmer’s head tilted and they gazed curiously at the fisherman. Willy rested his foot on the crossbar of the barstool, lifted the rim of his hat out of his line of sight, and leaned into the counter. “Some know ‘er as the cannibal witch… others say she’s just a misunderstood haggard ol’ woman who lives alone out in woods or marshes. It’s said she lives a rickety old house that stands on chicken feet, and she likes to lure weary travelers into ‘er home, only to gobble ‘em up once they let their guard down. Apparently she’s especially fond of the taste of children…” He laughed in a hoarse tone and made strange spider-like gestures with his calloused hands as if he were telling campfire stories to a group of kids. The farmer’s nose wrinkled at the outlandish notion of some feral old woman devouring toddlers, and Willy laughed heartily at their reaction. “I think that last part the parents like to add into the story to frighten the little ones. It keeps ‘em from wondering into the forests and swamps alone at night.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes and glanced back to the pool table. He watched the cue ball clack into the twelve before the twelve bounced off the barriers in the corner of the table and rolled slowly to a stop on the felt surface without pocketing. Sam huffed and stood back upright.
“You really aren’t very good at this, are you?” Seb chimed as he returned his full attention to the game at hand. Sam grinned and laughed.
“Nope!”
“Watch and learn….” Sebastian took aim at the cue ball, and after a single firm strike, drove it into the tiny gap between the two and seven. The cue stopped hard, but the two and seven sped to the opposite corners of the foot of the table, each dropping into one of the corner pockets simultaneously. Sam scoffed and paced about the pool room, but looked back over his shoulder just in time to catch Sebastian with a triumphantly cheeky grin on his face. Sam clicked his tongue and lightly thumped the base of his cue stick into the floorboards.
“Show-off…” he mumbled.
Elliott lifted the rim of the empty vessel to his lips, then chuckled again as he noticed the absence of ale and gestured it in Gus’ direction.
“Good sir, my glass is empty and…. I’m a writer!”
“Maybe you should stop for tonight…” the farmer interjected. “You won’t be sober enough to start your next chapter in the morning!” Elliott rolled his eyes and leaned against the bar counter. He tried to give one of his best theatrically exasperated sighs, but when the exhale turned into a case of the hiccups, they knew he was down for the count. He smiled defiantly and tried his best to look dignified through the sudden spasms in his diaphragm and soused thousand yard stare.
“I-am fiiine… ne’re betta’…”
“…..Aaaand, there he goes…” Leah giggled from the end of the bar counter. “It’s like dropping a ton of bricks on a peach.”
“I oughtta’ help the ol’ scallywag home, I s’pose!” Willy groaned as he stood from the bar stool. He smiled as he hoisted one of Elliott’s arms over his shoulders and stood him up from the bar stool. “C’mon you menace… Let’s get ya home before you make a fool of yourself in front of all the lassies!” he chuckled. Sam took a moment to appreciate the situation at the bar counter. He shook his head and laughed, then took another shot at the 12 and missed horribly yet again.
“Easy does it there!” Emily cooed as she cleared away the empty tankard. “Try not to drop him too hard!” Elliott wobbled towards the door as Willy struggled to keep him upright, and just before they stepped out into the lukewarm summer evening, the farmer waved one last farewell and called out to the well marinated dandy-man as he staggered away.
“Nighty-night! Sleep tight, Rapunzel!” they chirped. Elliot responded to the joke by blowing an overly exaggerated kiss over his shoulder and daintily waiving his fingertips at the company in the saloon, then he nearly tripped over himself as he turned back to the path home. A couple of snorts, giggles and guffaws rose up over the music and chatter in the saloon and quickly melted back into the white noise once the moment passed.
Seb looked Sam in the eyes with a determined glare and smirked.
“Eight in the corner pocket….” Seb didn’t have a clear shot, but leaned over the table, reared back the stick and spiked it into the cue ball. It ricocheted from the bumper, side-swiped the eight, and put just enough force into the edge to cause it to spin sideways into the pocket he’d called. Sam laughed and scratched at the back of his head.
“Awwww, man…” he groaned. “You got me again!” Sam leaned against his cue stick and looked over the table before his eyes lit up in anticipation. “How about a best three out of five?” Abigail giggled at Sam’s request as she stretched and leaned back into the sofa.
“Give it up, blondie! He cooks your goose at this game EVERY single time…. You’re doomed.” She teased. “It’s getting late anyways…”
…
It had been almost a month since the odd shape had been spotted flying over town at this point. Seb and Abby had talked in depth about it, and though most of the other townsfolk had come to the conclusion that it had merely been some sort of exotic bird flying out toward the fern islands, Abby was positive she hadn’t been mistaken. In fact she was adamant that the form looked human. She hadn’t seen or heard any wings flapping and the “squawking” sounded more so like the laugh of an old woman than the cries of a bird. The figure seemed to levitate or hover effortlessly and without the use of any physical or mechanical assistance. It was slumped over as if it was curled up or sitting and just…. Floated away.
The long night spent coding and researching the relevant programing issues at the computer, had caused Sebastian to rise late. He was groggy, didn’t have much motivation to bother rolling out of bed, and it was almost noon at this point. He could hear the rain pattering against the roof of the house and the rumble of distant thunder. As lazy as he felt, a smoke sounded pretty good about now. The sound and sight of the ocean on rainy days also had a way of clearing his head and a little stroll would probably do him some good.
He didn’t pass anyone on the way out of the house. Robin was likely at her aerobics club, Maru, at work in the clinic, and who knew where Demetrius was… Out shoving dirt samples into test tubes, or measuring the volume and PH of the current rainfall? As long as he wasn’t dissecting frogs. Out of all of Sebastian’s childhood memories, that was the one that stuck in his head and haunted him. Back then, Maru had only just been born, and while Robin was busy keeping her entertained, fixing her bottle or changing diapers, Seb was wandering the house trying to find something to occupy his time. He’d wandered into his step-father’s study and there on the examination tray was a deceased frog pinned on it’s back, limbs splayed like Da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” with it’s belly sliced open. Sebastian had cried and pouted over that for several days and had given Demetrius the silent treatment for even days longer intermixed with spells of arm crossing, head turning and the occasional stuck out tongue and blown raspberry. He cringed at the thought even now.
The hinges creaked as he pushed the front door open and paused. The summer was starting to give way to autumn and the parched ground soaked up the rain and turned loose the pungent, almost overpowering scent of petrichor.
Sebastian flipped the hood of his pull-over around his head and tightened up the drawstrings. He took a moment to smell the aroma of wet grass and earth that drifted through the air and held the fragrance in his lungs as he closed the door behind him.
He began his slow, steady march toward the beach and lost count of his steps after he’d passed the old Community Center. He’d barely noticed the changing of terrain under his feet as he moved almost subconsciously toward the ocean. The raw, muddy dirt paths of the mountain, the crunch of rough stones and shuffle of old, dead pine needles that carpeted the ground… They’d transitioned into the grass and cobblestone of the town plaza at some point, but they all seemed to blend together into “just steps” after a while. His inner thoughts distracted him to the point where he barely paid attention to his surroundings until he felt his footfalls sinking and shifting underneath him, and he knew he’d hit sand. He heaved a deep sigh of the salt air and looked over the horizon as he paced toward the docks.
When the sky was this gray and muted, the color of the sea seemed to take on it’s own jewel-like quality and without the blue sky to draw attention away from it, the eyes of each breaking wave became a splendor to watch. They erupted into columns of aquamarine, sapphire and sodalite laced with the bright, almost pearlescent white of the sea foam before curling over, crashing into the tides and giving way to the next one.
Sebastian came to a stop at the furthest reaching section of the wood panels and straightened up his posture as he groped into his pockets for the pack of cigarettes he’d brought with him. He selected one from the box, tucked it between his teeth and plunged his fingers back into the pocket for his lighter. He curled his left hand in front of his face, to protect the fire from the wind, flicked open the lid and thumbed the igniter. The flint sparked into a flame as it spun and lit up the end of the cigarette to a smoldering red glow. He pulled in a breath and held it for a moment before letting it out and watching the smoke dance away in the wind. It still wasn’t quite as satisfying as that first breath of rain when he’d stepped out of the house. Another sigh escaped Seb’s lips as he stared back at the oncoming crests of seawater and his mind started to drift again.
He imagined the city lights blazing somewhere across the ocean like stars, and thought about starting over somewhere far away. Disappearing, and reappearing somewhere else like a shadow moving through fragments of darkness and light, somewhere where no one knew him. Just vanishing and leaving everything behind. His parents, his sister, his friends… the thought excited him for a moment, before giving way to an intense feeling of regret and sadness. Maybe even a little shame. Having everyone was frustrating, but would having none of them be better or worse? He’d never known anything else. The same friends he’d grown up with, the same smell of the changing seasons in the mountain air, the same four walls of his bedroom, the sound of his sister’s laugh, or the taste of his mother’s cooking… even the way his stepfather overreacted to the littlest things was something he'd grown used to. He took another long breath.
The waves lapped and pounded at the underside of the dock so loudly he couldn’t hear the patter of oncoming footfalls against the wood and he was caught unaware when a sudden presence made itself known.
“Hey.” The start was enough to make him tense up, and he almost tripped over his own feet. Seb whirled around and when he found himself face to face with the farmer, he relaxed again.
“You scared the absolute crap out of me…..” He said as he rolled his eyes. He flicked his thumb against the filter of the cigarette to knock away the ashes and looked over the docks. They were alone.
“Sorry….” There was an awkward moment of silence between the two of them before Sebastian tried to force conversation.
“What are you up to out here?” He asked. He wasn’t really interested in the answer, but felt obligated to return the acknowledgement of his presence. The farmer held up the rod that was firmly clasped in their right hand and gestured to the ocean.
“Fishing!” Seb raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at the response.
“In the rain?” he asked. His tone was almost dismissive. The farmer nodded.
“Willy said that there’s a number of fish that only come out when it’s raining, so I wanted to see what bites.” They began. “Some fish just like it better this way I guess.” There was another long pause. “…and you?”
“Hanging out…” Seb shrugged and adjusted the collar of his hoodie.
“In the rain?” The irony of the retort wasn’t lost on either of them though only the farmer seemed to find it amusing.
“Some people just like it better this way too…” Seb declared as he shifted his posture and crossed his arms over his chest. “I like to come out here where it’s quiet and have some alone time with my own thoughts.” There was a brief moment of guilt when Sebastian realized that he hadn’t actually ever bothered to ask the farmer’s name, but his introverted nature snubbed it out pretty quickly.
“Well, if you’re out here for some alone time, I won’t keep bothering you. I’ll go find a spot to fish and leave you to it.” At least they could take a hint. The farmer turned to leave and Sebastian suddenly regretted the entire conversation. Maybe he came off as cold and bristly? Either way, they hadn’t meant any harm. Just engaging in basic pleasantries. He found himself compelled to say something else just so the conversation wouldn’t end on such a sour note, then the thought of the flying figure and the appearance of the strange egg in the farmer’s coop a while back suddenly popped into his head.
“Wait….” Sebastian flicked away the spent cigarette and stamped it out with the toe of his shoe before he continued. The farmer turned back in his direction. “I was just curious… do you remember what happened a couple of weeks ago? The night that… thing… flew over Pelican Town?” The farmer’s eyes narrowed and they nodded slowly. “That was the night that strange egg just showed up in your chicken coop, right?” The farmer looked bewildered. Seb chuckled soundlessly when he realized that, for at least a moment, he was acting like the epitome of some small town country boy who was nosing into someone else’s business. The farmer was likely confused because they hadn’t spoken to Sebastian about it directly. How could he know about that? They didn’t have to ask before he preemptively put the question to rest. “I was in the saloon playing pool with Sam the night after it happened. I overheard you talking about it with Gus, Willy and uh- …Rapunzel.” He explained. A tiny snort escaped the farmer’s nose as they stifled a laugh and they nodded again.
“Right… I still don’t know where it came from.” They rested the handle of the fishing pole on the dock like a staff or walking stick and looked up at the sky as if they were contemplating something. “I don’t know if the egg had anything to do with the flying figure, or if it was just a coincidence… they did both appear on the same night.”
“Everyone in town says that the flying thing was probably just some weird bird heading toward the islands…” Seb droned. He shoved his hands into his pockets to sooth the chill in his fingers. “If that IS where the egg came from, then maybe it was just a bird…” The farmer briskly shook their head before they answered.
“No, I don’t think so.” They rested a hand on their hip, fidgeted with the line strung through the fishing rod and seemed to gaze off into the distance towards the island in question. “That wouldn’t make sense considering what hatched.” Sebastian’s head snapped upright to meet their gaze. Now this was getting interesting.
“It actually hatched?!” He piped as his eyes widened inquisitively. “What was it?”
“A chicken…. And those can’t fly long distances.” The farmer chortled as they watched Sebastian’s face droop back to some semblance of apathy. He looked mildly disappointed.
“Aww…. Well that’s kind of anticlimactic.” He groaned.
“Yeah, sorry it’s not more exciting than that…” There was a sudden gust of wind and both of them had to brace against the pelting of raindrops that came with it. “It is a pretty peculiar looking chicken, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Really?... How so?” He gazed back at them expectantly and waited for them to go into detail.
“The feathers are jet black and the comb and wattles have a bit of an odd shape to them. The eyes are also bright red, like an animal with albinism and they’re almost reflective in the dark too… like a cat’s eyes.” They paused and rested their hand over the lower half of their face as if they were taking a moment to recall more of the specifics to memory. “And there’s just something about the way it clucks.” They added. “It doesn’t really cluck like a normal hen, but it sounds more like… an echo of a cluck, I suppose.”
“What?....” Sebastian laughed as his expression shifted again. The description of the noise sounded completely ridiculous. Not a cluck, but an echo of a cluck? They may as well have likened it to a phantom voice or the cry of a specter. Something that eluded the range of sounds that most humans would ever have the chance or perception to experience. The farmer lifted their eyes back to Sebastian’s as if they’d suddenly remembered something else.
“She started laying eggs a couple of days ago. They look just like the one that appeared in the coop that night…” They let the fishing pole drop from their hand to the wood planking of the dock and slipped their arm out of the left strap of their backpack. “I actually have one with me if you want to see it….” They slid the other strap off of their shoulder and swung the bag around their right side, letting it come to a rest in front of them as they knelt down. Seb took a few steps closer and stooped to get a better look as they dug through the contents.
They gingerly grasped what looked like a tiny bundle wrapped in a kerchief and began to slowly peel away the corners of the fabric, exposing what was probably the most bizarre looking egg he’d ever seen in his life. It was black and somewhat glossy, unlike the calcified matte shells of most chicken eggs, and the surface seemed to be covered in tiny indents or fissures that exposed flecks of a bright, almost luminescent red underneath. The farmer held the egg out to Sebastian as they stood up straight and nodded, silently offering to let him hold it for a closer look. He gently cupped the egg in his hands, tucked his arms in close to his body and cradled it in his palms like a cautious child trying to hold a hamster. It was heavier than he’d expected it to be, and surprisingly warm.
The color reminded him of magma or hot coals. Something like the intense heat glowing through crackling obsidian after a volcanic eruption or a dying fire. He leaned his head even closer to the egg as he examined the texture of the shell, and his nose wrinkled a bit when he caught the scent. It was sulphurous, and almost earthy smelling, but not overpoweringly so.
“It’s not rotten, is it?” he asked as he gently turned the egg over in his hands.
“See, that’s the strange thing about it. It can’t be…. That egg was just laid this morning.” They explained. “All of the eggs that hen lays have that… little whiff of something burning to them.” The rain was starting to slow up a bit. The farmer thought for a moment and giggled at the notion of what they said next. “I’m not inclined to say that they’re edible either… at least, not to people, and I wouldn’t be keen on being the first one to test that.” Sebastian winced at the thought…and smell, and stifled a laugh.
“Me neither…” He smiled softly when the red speckled pattern caught his attention again. “It does look really cool though!”
He really did have a nice smile. It was kind of a shame that he didn’t let people see it more often. His eyes brightened, and his face looked softer and more approachable, yet also, inquisitive and curious. It was a look of fascination and wonder. Like a kid who’d just discovered dinosaurs and outer space for the first time, or someone who’d just felt their first taste of freedom and didn’t quite know what to do with it. An imaginative or inspired sort of expression.
“Since you like it so much, why don’t you hang onto it?” the farmer beamed.
“Can I?” Sebastian’s eyes lit up again and he gazed back at the farmer with a delighted look on his face.
“Sure! Hens lay eggs every day or so. There’ll be more before long!” they chimed. Sebastian chuckled as he curled his fingers about the egg and sheltered it from the rain.
“Thank you!” He gazed at it for a few moments more as the farmer hefted the rucksack back onto their shoulders and pulled the fishing rod from it’s resting place on the dock. “Hey, this might sound kind of stupid….” He began as he gazed back and forth between the farmer and his new prize… “But, do you think it’ll hatch if I put it under my pillow?” he laughed awkwardly at his own question when he realized how foolish it must have sounded, but was pleasantly surprised when the farmer’s response was more optimistic than he had expected.
“Umm, I don’t know… Maybe! It’s worth a try anyway, and stranger things have happened.”
“Only one way to find out I guess!” Sebastian said smiling in anticipation.
“Good luck! You’ll have to let me know what happens!” They scanned out over the tides as if looking for something before turning back to Sebastian. “I should hurry and find a spot to fish before the rain stops again, but it was really nice talking to you!”
“Yeah, you too!” Seb agreed. “I’ll see you later!” He distracted himself for a moment, making sure the egg was tucked away safe and warm in his hoodie pocket, when he suddenly realized something. “Hey, wait!...” he quickly turned back to where the farmer had been standing just a minute before, but by the time he’d remembered what he’d needed to ask, they’d already trotted too far out of earshot to be able to hear him. “Aw, man… I forgot to catch their name again.” He lamented. “I’ll have to remember to ask them next time… Next time for sure.”

So… I’m bored. Instead of reading like I should be doing, I decided to compile a list of food ideas for my fellow aquatic therians. could also apply to semi-aquatic ones as well!!
Carnivorous
Fish! Any ready available fish should be good. If you’re gonna eat any raw, please be careful.
Oysters & other mollusks! Probably harder to get your hands on. Again, be careful if you eat raw.
Shrimp, prawn, crab, lobster, etc! Obviously. Could also work for insectivorous animals.
Frog legs! They’re not as nasty as they sound, I promise.
Herbivorous
Kelp/seaweed! If anything, I highly recommend kombu, if you have any Asian markets around it should be easy to find.
Any kind of edible aquatic plant! Stuff such as water chestnut, watercress, water spinach, etc.
Rice! Funnily enough, wild rice is one of the most important food sources for North American waterfowl.
If anyone has any other recommendations, I encourage you to leave them in the comments. I’m more used to recommending stuff for carnivorous ‘kins as my ‘types are all carnivorous (funnily enough, I prefer vegan foods) sooo. Yeah! :D

━━━━━▼ TWIN 1 ▼━━━━━

BASIC INFO

Name: Thomas Matthew Hartley

• AKA Tommy. Nobody really calls him by his full name, and he's never gone by 'Tom' or anything either.

Age: 16
Gender: Male
D.O.B: 13th April 2023
Birthplace: London, England
Nationality: British
Godrent: Aphrodite
Significant family:
• Adoptive mother: Veronica Hartley, 42
• Adoptive father: Alan Hartley, 44
• Twin brother: Harvey Hartley, 16

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Art/Picrews
Features: Tommy may not look like a typical macho Hollywood hunk, but his delicately angular and distinctive features endow him instead with a uniquely pretty look. Of particular note are his eyes: big, slightly wide-set, a little downturned, and baby blue. All this, along with the rest of his unconventional style, makes for a rather striking appearance. Tommy is also blessed with a perennial smile that ebbs between relaxed and radiant.
Height: 5'8" — about an inch shorter than his brother, although this gap is often bridged thanks to his taste in shoes.
Build: Slender and lean.
Hair: Tommy's hair is probably one of his favourite things. He dedicates a great amount of care and attention to it. Though naturally brown, he's been dyeing it blond for a few years now, and will on occasion add various other pops of colour. It's currently in a stylishly tousled, layered style that just reaches his shoulders when loose.
Clothes/style: Tommy is nothing if not a fashionista. He will flit artfully between a wide variety of fashion movements, never quite committing to a single one, though he has a particular love for 2000s and 1970s aesthetics (from Y2K to glam rock and disco). He also often takes inspiration from hippie, punk, emo, grunge, and otherwise alt or vintage fashion, but he's adventurous in his style (and only getting more so with time) and he doesn't like to limit himself. Most of his clothes have been thrifted or bought secondhand, with some customised or even constructed by himself.
Accessories: Numbering many and of a great variety. A common one is makeup: frequently eyeliner, sometimes nail polish, and occasionally things like lip gloss or eyeshadow.
Necklaces, chains, scarves, hats, belts, bracelets, rings, and tinted glasses make frequent appearances in his looks. Tommy has his ears pierced and usually wears small hoops or studs, but he also owns a few pairs of more intricate earrings.
Gender expression: Androgynous. While he doesn't seek to present himself as anything but male, he doesn't shy away from incorporating more feminine elements into his appearance.

PERSONALITY

Like many of his godly siblings, Tommy is a vain creature: he's never happier than when he's prettying himself up or achieving a perfect look. This can come hand in hand with a tendency for being self-absorbed, although his selfishness comes more from a habit of forgetting he’s not the only person in the world than having any malicious intent — he's a kind person when he’s not distracted by something shiny or his own self (which is pretty shiny). Getting distracted by something shiny is a common occurrence with Tommy, whose flighty nature means he can struggle with commitment (whether to tasks, plans, interests, or people).
Tommy is admittedly a little ditzy. He's not a fan of academia, nor of thinking too hard about anything in general, tying into his carefree approach to life. He is a remarkably laidback and cheerful person whose tendency to not sweat the little things can lead to irresponsibility. He's got a habit of ignoring problems and responsibilities and shirking hard work in favour of things more enjoyable; he’d rather have a good time now than worry about whatever consequences might come later. He can also sometimes be quite naïve. Overall, he is a friendly social butterfly with a fun-loving streak.

OTHER

Theme(s): TBD
Sexuality: Heterosexual, although he's currently not 100% sure. He's only ever been interested in girls, but the way some people assume he isn't straight (and his general openness to new things) has made him consider experimenting a little.
Voice/accent: A London accent. His voice is typically quite mellow and relaxed.
Mannerisms & habits: Tommy can often be seen playing with his hair, or just idly fidgeting in general. His body language is usually playful and casual. You'll frequently find him chewing gum. Tommy is right-handed.
Interests/hobbies:
Fashion: The way to Tommy's heart is through clothes. He lives for getting new clothes, going thrifting, styling outfits, wearing them, and generally being as fashionable as possible (although his style may skew alternative/unconventional).

• Tommy is also interested in fashion design and creating his own items of clothing. He's pretty talented at sewing and can alter or modify clothes or even construct new ones out of materials.

Music: Tommy has dreams of being a pop and/or rock star. A teen idol. Admittedly, these dreams are more motivated by a desire to be famous than passion for music, but he does genuinely love music and performing it. He mostly sings, which he is quite good at (though not groundbreakingly so).

• Like his taste in clothes, his taste in music also spans genres. Ones he's particularly a fan of include indie pop, glam rock, synth pop, pop punk, new wave, disco music, and hip hop, as well as whatever chart-toppers of the moment.
  
• Music he listens to ranges from David Bowie, ABBA, and Queen to Prince, KISS, and Avril Lavigne, but he’s got a wide variety of artists he listens to and would struggle to pick exact favourites.
  

Misc.:

• Tommy has been gathering a respectably sized following on social media, mostly posting himself and fashion-related posts. Upkeep of these accounts is likely difficult with limited access to the internet, though.
• The more athletic twin, Tommy enjoys activities and sports like skating and football (AKA soccer).

Powers:

• Enhanced Beauty 

Tommy always looks perfect. It could be down to the care he puts into his looks, but it's probably also the passive power that staves off cosmetic flaws and steers his physical state in the best possible direction, no matter whatever other factors in his life: for example, his skin is always clear and glowing; his hair is always beautiful and healthy-looking; his face never looks tired, or blotchy, or puffy — he always looks as flawless and radiant and as best he possibly can.

• Alluring Aura 

When Tommy's alluring aura power is activated, all those within the area of effect will find him remarkably attractive and charming. Any existing feelings of the sort — which are not uncommon anyway, really — are greatly amplified. People within 15 feet will find him more strikingly beautiful than they might otherwise, and may also feel subtly drawn to him, or more generally inclined to like him. Different people may be affected in different ways, and some more than others; the general intensity of the effect can also vary.
This aura effect activates unconsciously, triggered by all manner of situations: feeling certain emotions, meeting someone new, seeing someone attractive, the desire to charm or win someone over, the desire for attention and validation... Tommy is not aware of the power. He thinks he's just naturally like that.

• Flower Manipulation 

Tommy can control and manipulate flowers, including flowering vines, which he can grow from seeds or existing plants and use to wrap around targets to bind, restrain, or grab.

• Glitter Generation 

Tommy has the ability to manifest glitter, including edible glitter and glitter glue but not sequins.

• Persuasion, Cosmetic and Fashion Proficiency 

Tommy is naturally adept with the skills involved in persuasion and beautification, such as cosmetics and fashion.

• Animal Affinity 

All creatures tend to be naturally friendly to Tommy.
Weapons: None yet.
━━━━━▲ TWIN 2 ▲━━━━━

BASIC INFO

Name: Harvey Bruno Hartley

• Most attempts at nicknames will be met with disapproval (as well as jokes about the rhyming nature of his name).

Age: 16
Gender: Male
D.O.B: 13th April 2023
Birthplace: London, England
Nationality: British
Godrent: Aphrodite
Significant family:
• Adoptive mother: Veronica Hartley, 42
• Adoptive father: Alan Hartley, 44
• Twin brother: Thomas Hartley, 16

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Art/Picrews
Features: Although he and his identical twin should have identical faces, Harvey and Tommy do not look exactly alike. Perhaps this is down to Tommy's beauty-related powers which Harvey lacks, or perhaps it's a result of the accident Harvey had in childhood that broke his nose and jaw. This resulted in a lopsidedness to his chin and a crookedness to his nose that disrupts the symmetry of his face and the natural delicateness of his features. He is also afflicted by acne in a way that has spared his brother, and is insistently growing a terrible moustache, which at this point only amounts to a few wispy wayward hairs.
Height: 5'9" — an inch taller than his twin, which he likes to lord over him.
Build: Less fit than his more athletic brother, although they share the same slight frame.
Hair: Harvey sports his natural hair colour, which is brown. Unlike his brother, he does not devote much energy to his hair; he's stuck with the same style for years (which Tommy has long reviled as unflattering), and it always seems to end up limp, greasy, or scruffy.
Clothes/style: Harvey is not concerned with the trivialities of fashion. His clothes are generally plain and practical, so expect basic t-shirts (usually long-sleeved), hoodies, jeans, and joggers. The most adventurous fashion choice he makes is wearing turtlenecks, because they make him feel like a writer.
Accessories: Numbering few. Harvey doesn't typically accessorise, but he usually wears a watch.
Gender expression: Masculine.

PERSONALITY

Harvey does not fit in with his cabin mates.
While many of his siblings are preoccupied with matters of appearance and fashion, Harvey rejects such frivolities, espousing a strong distaste for shallow, meaningless things and favouring matters of intellectual substance and poetic beauty rather than superficial. This, unfortunately, can make him come across as pretentious. He's secretly (well... he thinks it's secretly) desperate to be seen as an intelligent, profound, and sophisticated individual — both an intellectual and an artist — and his attempts to embody this are not always the smoothest. In fact, he can be quite awkward: socialising does not come to him as effortlessly as it does to his brother.
Harvey is a dedicated person who can be very hard-working and conscientious. He is typically quite responsible and a lot more sensible than his twin, though maturity may sometimes give way to pettiness, especially if he starts to hold a grudge. He can be rather bitter and jealous, with his insecurity and neurotic disposition at times creating a self-sabotaging vicious circle. Harvey can also be moody, with a tendency to wallow in his own feelings, as well as take things too seriously. Despite all this, he is often a thoughtful and considerate person, and remains loyal to those he is close to.

OTHER

Theme(s): Creep by Radiohead TBD
Sexuality: Heterosexual.
Voice/accent: His accent seems to be slightly more 'posh' than his brother's, although this may just be something he's trained himself into.
Mannerisms & habits: Harvey and Tommy share certain mannerisms. They both tend to fidget and fiddle with things, with Harvey typically focusing on his watch or his sleeves. Harvey is also a mouth breather (in the literal sense), and rather stuck in a cycle of chewing, licking, and picking at chapped and scabby lips, which only serves to make the matter worse. Harvey often seems a little tense and this is seen in his posture. He is left-handed.
Interests/hobbies:
Literature: This includes reading and writing. Harvey is an appreciator of classic works of literature, such as those by Shakespeare or the poetry greats over the centuries, as well as classic novels.

• He writes his own poetry and also tries his hand at prose (although his childhood aspiration of being a writer has never been achieved beyond a couple of pages — he can never come up with plots).

Music: Harvey is passionate about music and rather proud of his music taste. He enjoys the genres of experimental music, post-rock, ambient, shoegaze, progressive rock, and noise music, as well as having an appreciation for jazz, especially more avant-garde forms. He's also partial to a spot of classical music, although partly just because it makes him seem cultured.

• His favourite artist is Radiohead, though he had a former obsession with The Beatles. Further musicians include Aphex Twin, Pink Floyd, King Crimson, My Bloody Valentine, Swans, and a variety of artists who nobody has ever heard of. He's a bit of a music snob and tends to look down on mainstream pop music.
  
• Harvey plays the guitar, writes his own songs, and produces his own experimental/ambient music which he posts online.
  

Bird-watching: A self-professed 'birder', Harvey finds great satisfaction in observing birds, recording bird sightings, and learning about the ornithological.
Misc.:

• Harvey considers himself a very cultured individual, one who appreciates things such as fine art and philosophy and possesses a vast library of knowledge. To his credit... well, he definitely tries to be this way.
  
• Harvey and Tommy have always played games together, ranging from childhood inventions to board games to the more 'intellectually stimulating' ones (like chess) Harvey tries to push but for which Tommy has little interest.
  

Powers:

• Dove Transformation 

Harvey can transform into a dove (specifically, a European turtle dove). He can maintain this form for a maximum of two cumulative hours a day. Shifting too rapidly will lead to a feeling of disorientation and eventually exhaustion.

• Heartbreak Inducement 

Harvey has the ability to induce an emotional state within targets similar to the pain of heartbreak. When used, this power will leave a target feeling deeply sorrowful and distressed, as if their heart has just been broken. This can last between two and ten minutes, with shorter times being able to pack more intensity. This could stave off an attacker (including monsters) as the emotional turmoil would be distracting.

• Pathokinesis Immunity 

Harvey is immune to emotional powers and magical attempts of emotional manipulation.

• Animal Affinity 

All creatures tend to be naturally friendly to Harvey.
Weapons: None yet.

HISTORY

Tommy and Harvey were born out of a brief liaison between the goddess Aphrodite and a young man living in London. Said young man was not keen on raising a baby, let alone two, and despite his (vaguely) valiant efforts for a short first part of their lives, he ended up giving the boys up into care. They were eventually adopted by a couple when they were just under 2 years old: Alan and Veronica Hartley.
Despite periods of fluctuating financial insecurity, the boys had a fairly standard and stable childhood. They were never that much alike, as far as identicalness goes, both growing to value and develop their own individuality.
At age 15, a development in employment led to the family moving to America. Strange things started occurring with increasing intensity, and only recently have they been made aware of their true heritage and introduced to their new home: Camp Half-Blood.

NOW

"What d'you wanna do now?" Tommy asks his brother as they leave the dining pavilion, having concluded their first breakfast at Camp Half-Blood since their arrival yesterday.
"I don't know," Harvey says, after an uncertain pause. He has, admittedly, been finding it somewhat harder than his twin to adjust to their new life. It feels like he's been forced into a set of clothes that don't fit, that itch and prickle with the surreal and incomprehensibly immense truth of his and his brother's origins — and, so it has been suggested — their uncomfortably likely monster-y ends. Tommy doesn't seem as bothered by these metaphorical new outfits they've been thrust into wearing, but then again, he's always liked getting new clothes.
"Come explore with me," Tommy suggests. He, for one, finds this strange new world exciting more than anything else. This place is like something out of a movie: a training camp for kids with magical powers? Goat people? Real-life swords? Cute girls living in rivers? He wants to find out more, wants to snoop around and see what else this place has to offer, and he also wants to meet people. Conveniently enough for that last part, the excitement of it all means that, unbeknownst to either twin, Tommy's aura power has been steadily activated; so he happens to be particularly eye-catching and magnetic right now.
Harvey's not so keen on immersing himself even further into the deep end they've been thrown into, at least not until he's had a little more time to adjust. "I don't feel like exploring right now," he says.
"You're so boring. Are you gonna go back to the cabin, then?" his brother asks, gesturing in a direction that is definitely not where the cabins are. Harvey instinctively pulls a face: it would be fair to say that one of the twins has taken to Cabin 10 more than the other.
"Well, what are you gonna do, then?" asks Tommy. "Just sit out here and mope?"
"I'm not going to mope. I don't mope."
"Yeah, you do," Tommy retorts. "You mope all the time. You're so mopey. You're a moped."
"Shut up," Harvey says. "Fine, I'll come explore with you for a bit," he concedes, if only to disprove the moping allegations. He's not sure what he'll do after — maybe break out the binoculars and scope out the local birdlife, something to re-centre himself a little.
"Alright, cool," Tommy says with a grin. "Where d'you wanna go first?"
OOC: You can interact with both of the twins while they explore camp together, Tommy (by himself) exploring camp on his own when Harvey leaves him, or Harvey (by himself) scoping out the local birdlife. You can assume that Tommy's aura power will be active upon meeting your character in whichever case. Thanks for reading :)

Astral projection tutorial: A-lot of terminology I use will make sense as you go along.
I have read several books on astral projection and skimmed through dozens for actual techniques. And scoured reddit and user reports. This is going to be somewhat a culmination of the data i have found to be helpful myself and recommend.
So one large problem with astral projection is you usually (except for a specific skillset) have to be asleep for it to happen. Or at least teetering very close to sleep. The way this is usually achieved is by people trying to learn meditation by getting in a comfortable position when they have free time and the energy to try this.
Then they try to focus on breathing or doing energy body stimulation (will be described how to later) basically the ability to create the vibrations. Till after 30 minutes or a hour if they are lucky they start to feel the vibrations and use a exit technique. (Will be covered) Then the exit technique can work, and then it goes to tips on what to do in the astral. But i probably won’t cover that in this text.
Yup. That’s it. Fall asleep, use a exit technique, walk or fly around the area you come out at. Sounds pretty simple when stripped to its barest parts… the problem is there are pitfalls where people get stuck not being able to to something. Weather they find it hard to fall asleep and can’t start the exit technique, or they get asleep and notice it and try to project and either nothing happens, or they get to excited or scared depending on the exit symptoms
(TIP 1) if you get to the exit phase you can experience very trippy psychedelic experiences. You can hallucinate smells, sounds, words, visions, shocks, vibrations, a heartbeat that goes incredibly fast, (not your actual heart) some mixture of all these… it can be a intense entry fee. And if you’re not mentally prepared by imagining these things happening you could get scared and think you are dying. Also some psychedelic experiences can prepare you for it.
(semi common for people who haven’t done psychedelics or had a near death experience and know what actually dying feels like) my first experience trying to project, I felt shocks in my face, with the shocks i saw strobe light flashes, i felt vibrations all over, i heard buzzing, my heart felt like it started to gradually increase to the speed of almost vibration… it was pretty intense, and as i felt myself starting to float up I thought for sure i was dying… so I stopped the exit.
After this, i built a block in my head with something in me saying “not ready for this experience yet” and alot of people believe this is the gatekeeper of the astral realm just making sure you are prepared for the wild ride that could happen. So hopefully you will imagine these experiences and prepare yourself mentally for them and not be scared like i was. And build a mindset of saying “heck yeah throw whatever psychedelic experience you want at me I’m ready and not afraid.”
Sorry to make a long part of this about the exit symptoms, and I in no way want to scare anyone away from this experience. But i do want you to be mentally prepared for possible obstacles and know that there is nothing to fear. Nobody is on record dying from astral projection from anything i have read was aware of. So that’s one pitfall covered.
The next will be the problem of feeling like you projected but you fall asleep or “nothing happens” first off,
(TIP 2) keep your first 3 or so trips really short. I follow and believe Robert Bruce’s advice here. Once you get out, scream I projected!! And if that doesn’t wake you up itself try finding your body and jumping in, or closing and opening your eyes, or falling backwards and closing your eyes then moving to get up, one of these should work. If not i don’t really know what else to say besides enjoy the trip and try to keep it as memorable as possible by dancing or something. So “trip short” covers staying too long and falling asleep, and even if you do fall asleep, here comes the next tip,
(TIP 3) learn to remember your dreams. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. If you don’t remember your dreams, you are unlikely to remember your projections. It’s like tying a worm to a fishing line and throwing it out there with no hook. Something might happen, but you can’t bring it back. The way to start remembering your dreams is to first start having more vivid dreams, which can easily be achieved by “oneirogens” drugs or herbs that can improve dreams. My favorite for this is the non wake psychoactive (won’t effect you while awake) herb Silene Capensis.
I love this stuff. It is a root that you can grind in a coffee grinder and measure out .5g or one gram of the herb by weight, and put in a tea bag or filter and put in boiling hot water and steep till warm or luke warm and then drink before bed. This specific herb usually has to be taken for several days before effects start to kick in. Then you should be having more memories and more vivid dreams. Which hugely effect astral projection probability by itself not including the tip after the next.
(TIP 4) is DREAM JOURNAL! get a app or notepad you already have or whatever and write any memory you can when you’re first starting out. As much detail as possible. The easiest way to trigger a memory is to think of common themes in your life or dreams if you remember some of them already is to think of the things you commonly dream about. Once you hit this groove on the record that is your memory there should be a notch there of the most recent memory related to that thing. Snow, your siblings, your spouse, your dog, your job, whatever you dream about. Then once you think of the thing that happened in your last few dreams it can trigger a memory of that dream. Then that can open up to more parts of that dream being remembered. As soon as you pull a piece to memory write it down and keep thinking. Start the dream journal while you’re waiting on your herb to come in.
(TIP 5) Once you have your dream journal for the day, in the middle of the day set a alarm to look at the dream journal and remember the dream or dreams you had. Doing this while more awake will build the gap between asleep memories and awake memories. Keep doing this. Once you remember more clearly only write a few key details at first, (saw friend, saw dog) then after the middle of the day alarm you set use these tips to try to remember the rest of what happened in the dream. Keep doing this consistently with the Silene Capensis (African dream root) I get mine from etsy. And you should be having vivid dreams that you remember in a couple weeks. Then you may start remembering two or three dreams when you wake up. Or more depending on how long you can sleep. That is the memory part.
(TIP 6) learn to lucid dream, then enter a projection from that lucid dream. So doing this method skips right over having to meditate to the point of projecting. Once you learn to lucid dream, all you have to do is fall backwards while closing your eyes in the dream. Then once you start to hit the ground and go black you should feel yourself float down some. This part can very on exactly what happened. Sometimes there’s no gravity and you have to try again or find something heavy to fall with, sometimes your whole perception view changes to third person like a video game and it’s harder to navigate, etc… but anyway, once you are in this point of asleep and fell backwards into darkness, you are in the mind awake body asleep stage in your body. This point comes with the problem of being really easy to be woken up, which is why you need to quickly start building vibrations, or do the rope technique. The ability to build the trigger of knowing the right thing to do goes into tip 7.
(TIP 7) how to start a lucid dream from a dream, learn to fall in the dream on command, learn to do projection techniques once you fall into the darkness, learn to do what you want to pre plan your projection to be, (usually for the first 4 times or at least 2 just short trips of getting out, then shouting I DID IT! then hopping back in. Which is “🌈imagination🌈” you take time throughout your day to do “reality checks” this is a lucid dreaming term that means to test if you are in awake or dream state. So every time you walk through a door is a good trigger, or set a bunch of alarms, or put your phone/smartwatch screen to say “am i dreaming?” Then you test if you are in a dream. Some people cover their nose and try to blow through. If they can then they’re in a dream. Or look at a watch and if it says anything but the right thing you’re in a dream. So you see your reminder or walk into a new room then test if you’re in a dream.
Then you “imagine” if the answer was yes. Then you “imagine” (please don’t fall backwards in reality….) falling backwards and closing your eyes. Once you get this pattern memorized your natural reaction once you realize you’re in a dream you will be to fall backwards. You build a muscle memory. Like when your arm knows what to do to shoot a basketball from a specific place. That place is when you’re in a dream. Then to not spend too much time daydreaming every time you walk through a door you can save the rest of the imagination for when you have a little more free time.
Then you imagine ““I’m in a dream” falling backwards, closing eyes, then imagine the first exit technique you want to use. I would recommend energy body stimulation. Then once you’re vibrating imagine floating up. Imagine bubbles coming from underneath you and lifting you away, or if that doesn’t work the rope technique. Then imagine the astral symptom’s happening. Take a second to imagine each possible symptom. Vibrating, flashing lights, “heart” pounding, etc… then imagine getting out of your body, then imagine shouting “eureka” or I projected!” Or whatever. Then open your eyes and go about the rest of your day till the next time.
If it helps right out your roadmap then rehearse each one in order. (“In dream”, fall back and close eyes, projection technique(‘s), out of body, scream, eyes open.) do this several times a day every day till you don’t have to look at the note or even think of the next thing to do, just “see” it happening in your imagination. See is used lightly for however you experience imaginations.
(TIP 8) Also i have to mention “flow state” and if you have a free day just spend the day looking at nature or whatever, and be 100% in the moment. Don’t think of something else, just perceive every crackle every bird chirp, every smell, (maybe carry something good smelling in a bag) taste something like a healthy apple washed, or something low calorie or your meal, combine as many senses as possible and be fully aware of all of these senses. Be fully aware of the moment and think nothing else but “am i in a dream” and look around and think about if you are.
Be present in the moment as a all day, or long session of a continuous reality check. Your probable best chance storm of the right things pulled together is, do whatever to have vivid dreams, set a alarm for 6 hours, (if you sleep less than 7.5 hours, than do whatever is 1.5 hours before you are supposed to wake up. Then wake up and do the “flow state” of constantly thinking about if you are awake, and chew on something that won’t leave a strong taste in your mouth but that you can clearly taste, then smell something, like a herb bag. Something calming. And look at something pretty, and feel something with your hands, focus on as many of these as you can while being in the state of (“am I dreaming?”)
then after 10 minutes of doing that, (write your dreams down as soon as you wake then do the “flow state” for 10 minutes) go back to sleep, and hope for a lucid dream. Then the rest should take over.
(TIP 9) this is the energy body stimulation method. hold your hand palm up, then start to brush over your hand with the tips of your fingers. Start with hard ish scratches so you can really feel it and swipe back and forth about a second each swipe, then slowly start to scratch more gently, try to notice and be aware as much as possible the feeling of your fingertips scratching your palm. If your palm is too ticklish, use the back of your hand, if that is, use from elbow to wrist. At a steady pace back and forth, really try to feel in the hand you’re not moving the feeling of it being scratched, try to follow along im your mind and kind of predict the feeling of it moving forward, then keep slowly lowering pressure till you are completely off your skin, then you are trying to continue to imagine this sweeping sensation on your non moving hand as the scratching hand hovers above it. Feel the sensation move up and down. This is energy body stimulation. And if you can do it well enough you should be able to trigger vibrations quite easily.
Work on making this sensation go all over your whole body. If you have to use your hand or a brush or something to get the feelings going till you can imagine it in that area. Sweep back and forth in your mind in your foot a little bit, then your shin then your knee to hip, then your hip to the other legs knee, down to the toes, then back to the hip, around the stomach, etc. throughout the whole body. Eventually it should start vibrating and you can build this till you start to float. Don’t stop till you float away. One method is to focus on a tiny area like a big toe, and do it till you feel vibrating.
Another way of creating the vibrations if you have a hard time with imagination, is to try to move a part of your body in the smallest possible distance known. You try to lift your pinky finger but without applying enough force to actually twitch a muscle. This sends focus to that part of your body and energy in turn. Then move the feeling from “lifting” your pinky to lifting your ring finger, again not actually using any muscles, but making a mental effort to move the muscle as small of an effort as possible. Just enough to feel the area, but not enough to move the muscles. This will stimulate the area and after enough practice and trance state cause the vibrations.
(TIP 10) THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION…. But for informational purposes… when i use delta 9 thc edibles (merijuana active chemical) and try energy body stimulation it is almost instant and very easy. I do not recommend at all being high while you try to project because it could take from the real feeling of it and make it seem fake. But for myself I believe it’s a good practice for energy work just to build the vibrations and clear energies. I’d recommend during energy work learning about the chakras and stimulating each energy ball up your spine from your base to your crown. For a better explanation of this read Robert Bruce: “Astral dynamics” or “energy work” astral dynamics will also cover the rope method.
(TIP 11) “the rope method.” (TIP) Basically in my explanation you rub your hand on something resembling a rope. Preferably a rope, lol. and you start pulling gently with your hands so loose that the rope slides through your hands, keep doing this for a while at a steady speed. Then after a while let go of the rope and move your hands like they are going down the rope, this is your baseline for how to imagine this sensation, don’t move a muscle a inch, and imagine doing this same technique, feeling the rope sliding through your hands, till you actually start to feel your arms moving, once your astral arms are moving and you’re sure it’s your astral arms and you didn’t start moving your real arms, grab something near you. ( it will probably still be dark) and pull yourself away from your body gently. Then try to fly or keep pulling till you start to gain vision. And that is the rope technique basically.
(TIP 12) There is another method that is the ear ringing (often called tinnitus) method. Where you get it really quiet enough to not hear anything at all. Gun soundproofing muffs with cotton or earbuds on the inside so you hear absolutely nothing. Then you can start to hear a ringing noise. If you hear it just keep focusing on it till it gets so loud you start to experience projecting symptoms. I don’t recommend ear damage at all! But if you go to a loud concert then go home and meditate you should be able to hear it then. The temporary loss of hearing creates the tinnitus and you can use it.
(TIP 13) not sure if this works as i read it on reddit and haven’t tried it yet but it sounds reasonable. Start saying words that are unrelated to each other. So instead of couch then chair, or house then mansion, something like frog then chair then guitar. Apparently this can keep you conscious enough while also going deep enough into trance.
Well that’s about it for my hopefully helpful tips. Happy travels!

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:
   
   • Some frogs can freeze completely and survive during winter.
   • Octopuses have three hearts and blue blood.
   • Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating.
2. Unusual Historical Nuggets:
   
   • Ancient Greeks used to exercise in the nude during the Olympics.
   • The shortest war in history was between Britain and Zanzibar in 1896 and lasted only 38 minutes.
   • In the 1800s, radium was used in various products, including toothpaste and hair tonics.
3. Science and Technology Oddities:
   
   • The first computer mouse was made of wood.
   • A toaster uses almost half as much energy as a full-sized oven.
   • A single strand of spaghetti is called a "spaghetto."
4. Language and Linguistic Quirks:
   
   • The longest word in the English language with all its letters in alphabetical order is "almost."
   • "Uncopyrightable" is the longest word in the English language that can be written without repeating any letters.
   • The sentence "Go, hang a salami! I'm a lasagna hog!" is a palindrome, meaning it reads the same backward as forward.
5. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:
   
   • Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain in the world when measured from base to peak. That title goes to Mauna Kea in Hawaii.
   • Japan is made up of 6,852 islands.
   • More people speak English in China than in the United States.
6. Human Achievements and Records:
   
   • The longest wedding veil measured over 22,000 feet long.
   • The world record for the most number of people hula hooping simultaneously is 4,483.
   • The longest time spent balancing on one foot is 76 hours and 40 minutes.
7. Food and Culinary Marvels:
   
   • Carrots used to be purple before a genetic mutation turned them orange.
   • The world's most expensive spice by weight is saffron.
   • The largest pizza ever made measured 131 feet in diameter.
8. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:
   
   • The first video uploaded to YouTube was titled "Me at the zoo" and featured one of the co-founders.
   • "The Simpsons" holds the record for the most guest stars featured in a television series.
   • The actor who played Darth Vader, David Prowse, never watched any of the "Star Wars" movies.
9. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:
   
   • In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
   • In England, it's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
   • In Samoa, it's forbidden to forget your wife's birthday.
10. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:
    
    • A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale.
    • Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs.
    • A shrimp's heart is located in its head.

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:

• Some frogs can freeze solid during winter and thaw out in spring, continuing their lives.
  
• Anteaters have no teeth and consume up to 30,000 insects a day with their long tongues.
  
• Male penguins propose to their lifelong mates by giving them a pebble.
  

1. Unusual Historical Nuggets:

• The oldest known "your mom" joke was discovered on a 3,500-year-old Babylonian tablet.
  
• Ancient Romans used urine as a teeth-whitening agent due to its ammonia content.
  
• The Boston Tea Party, often seen as a rebellion against high taxes, was more a protest against a tax cut.
  

1. Science and Technology Oddities:

• A single strand of human hair can support up to 100 grams in weight.
  
• The world's first computer programmer was Ada Lovelace, who worked on Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine in the mid-1800s.
  
• There are more possible iterations of a game of chess than there are atoms in the known universe.
  

1. Language and Linguistic Quirks:

• The word "set" has the highest number of different meanings in the English language.
  
• The longest word in the English language without a vowel is "rhythms."
  
• The word "facetious" contains all the vowels in alphabetical order.
  

1. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:

• The country of Monaco is smaller than New York City's Central Park.
  
• There are more public libraries in the U.S. than McDonald's restaurants.
  
• Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain on Earth when measured from base to peak; Mauna Kea in Hawaii holds that record.
  

1. Human Achievements and Records:

• The longest duration spinning a Guinness World Records book on one finger is 4 hours and 25 minutes.
  
• The record for the most push-ups in one hour is 2,806.
  
• The world record for the longest handshake is 42 hours.
  

1. Food and Culinary Marvels:

• The first product to have a barcode scanned for purchase was Wrigley's Juicy Fruit chewing gum.
  
• The world's most expensive burger costs $5,000 and contains gold leaf, caviar, and truffles.
  
  • The world's largest chocolate bar weighed over 12,770 pounds.

1. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:

• The first movie ever made was the 1895 film "Roundhay Garden Scene," lasting about 2.11 seconds.
  
• The world's most-watched television event is the Super Bowl.
  
• The shortest film ever nominated for an Oscar is "Fresh Guacamole," which runs for 1 minute and 40 seconds.
  

1. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:

• In Switzerland, it's illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM in an apartment building.
  
• In Canada, it's illegal to use comic sans in official government documents.
  
• In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
  

1. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:

- Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs. - Human bones are ounce for ounce four times stronger than concrete. - A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale. 

Chapter 12
Log. 22675.g Finally. It has been a few months, but we did it. The most annoying part was disabling the GPS and all other self-sabotage programs. After that, it was, eh, simple. Well, as it’s said, I am the idea-person. It's amazing to see how they work as a team. In the beginning there was a lot of prejudice against the Programmer, but it’s wonderful to see organic and artificial humans working together, as equals.
After a few drinks, Bobbie seemed to forget about the secret in the boot, and started asking Séra — who was also a bit drunk, against physician’s orders — about mechanics and batteries. It didn’t take long before they were designing wind turbines to attach to the car. Ganen had to admit, it was a hard conversation to follow, but Séra would always pause and explain something when she noticed a very confused face.
When Séra asked how Bobbie had trained or studied for being able to create such an amazing bike, the Mailer told them she had grown up with the Mail Bikers, surrounded by the most amazing motorcycles, and so she learnt from the best. The main Post Offices had their own forges and labs, so it was easy to get the parts.
— My parents tried to ship me away as a baby. — Bobbie said. — The Bikers found me in a box with no return address, so they decided to keep me and raise me.
— Oi, those are some nasty parents, eh. — Séra wanted to get her bandages off. They were scratching.
— Ah, well, I guess it happens. — The Biker shrugged. — I couldn’t care less, really. How ‘bout yours?
— Parents? — Séra confirmed. — I don’t remember much of them, they died of an illness when I was young. My aunt pretty much raised me by herself.
— Oh, I’m sorry. Is it a sore subject? — Bobbie was hesitant.
— Nah, don’t ya worry about it.
— So, what do you know about Tree City? — Ganen changed the subject; Bobbie might have not noticed, but Ganen heard the discomfort in Séra’s voice. — We don’t get many bikers around there.
— I don’t know much, because, with all due respect, you guys refuse to cut down trees and make some roads! — Bobbie laughed, she was having a lot of fun with those two. She had always struggled with making friends outside the Mail system, never being in one place for long, but she wanted to know Ganen and Séra better.
— You’re more than welcome to visit, if you want. — Ganen raised her brows.
— I’d love to visit! —She got some pen and paper from her bag, and wrote some coordinates. — Do you have a map? I can mark where you’ll generally find me. — Her thin black eyes sparkled with excitement.
— It’s in the car, I’ll get it. — Séra got up and walked to the door; thinking about her parents brought up some memories, and contrary to Ganen, she didn’t know if she wanted to remember. Some fresh air would be good.
She sat on the passenger's seat and looked at the night sky. Stars blinked throughout the dark blue and the path of the Sun and the Moon was even brighter. It had a different name in the past, something related to milk, which was really funny. Séra imagined a ginormous baby crawling in the sky while their bottle was dripping.
After a deep breath, she got the map and went back inside. Her body was still sore and she was quite aware they would need longer pauses to rest, but she was eager to continue her conversation.
Log. 20657.s We did it! In the end, we didn't even need a distraction. A hysterical person entered the hospital and we were able to paralyse a Robot Physician. We turned it off right away and stuck it in the caravan. It's so much easier when we can press a button! Especially when we know where the button is! It‘s been decades since I’d done something so scary and exciting! Now we have to figure out how to break into this thing.
Bobbie ended up spending the night in the girls’ house, and wasn’t the first to wake up. She rubbed her eyes a few times and slowly recognized Ganen’s and Séra’s voices from the kitchen. She got out of bed and adjusted her t-shirt; her pants were nowhere to be found, and she didn’t really care. The perfume of coffee was the only important thing at that moment.
— You’re awake. — Ganen was the first to notice her. — Sit down, Séra is making wildberry pancakes. It’s a rare sight!
— Are berries hard to find? — Bobbie yawned.
— Not around here, so we’ve got a lot of them! — Séra flipped one in the air. — How do you like yours?
— Ahn… cooked?
— Okay! — Séra laughed; it was indeed bad having them raw.
Ganen poured some coffee for the three of them and mentioned Ahda wanted to give them a “thank you” basket for how they helped finding the cure for the grain water wasting, and that would probably cover the resources they would need for a while.
— I’d like to stop by Tara’s place before leaving, so we can say goodbye to them and Esha. — Séra added.
— Are you okay with leaving her with Tara and Ery?
— Yah, they’re good people. And I think she’ll be safer here than on the road with us.
Bobbie had heard the little girl’s story and, in the end, it wasn’t so different from hers — except for the whole almost getting killed part — and it was good to know she had also found a family for herself.
— I myself have to leave today. — Bobbie said. — There are a lot of letters to distribute.
— Oh! Are you going south? — Ganen bit her pancake.
— Yeah, and I think I might just personally deliver your letter to your aunt. — The Biker smiled. — I quite like the region. The plains are sooo good for riding! And some of the craters are large enough for a few spins.
Ganen looked a bit worried, even Séra stopped flipping pancakes and glanced at Bobbie. The Biker laughed, said it was easy; she’d been doing things like that since she was a child, so she had plenty of experience.
Breakfast was delicious and fun, Ganen and Séra promised to stop by the southern Post Office on their way back, to which Bobbie would look forward to.
— And if I’m not there, just wait a bit. — She grabbed a blue pin in the shape of an envelope from her bag and gave it to the couple. — Show them this if the Bikers give you any trouble. They’ll know it’s mine.
If they weren’t still hurting, they could have left together, but Séra needed a little more rest before hitting the road. They waved goodbye until Bobbie was out of sight, then walked slowly to Tara’s house.
Log. 20512.l We agreed that stealing a Robot Physician would be ideal.
Bobbie knew it was safer to ride with the visor down, but she loved the wind on her face, the green perfume of summer leaves, the landscape flying by her side. When she was on her bike, the world was hers to enjoy, and she felt free. A bird whose long wings could take her above the clouds to soar through the sky.
There was nothing better than sleeping below the stars, being awoken by the gentle morning sun, and enjoying the delicate dew drops on colourful petals. She liked meeting people — old and new — and seeing their smiles as they received their letters.
So when the farms started popping up around the fields, excitement filled her chest. She lowered the speed of her bike and stopped in front of a large wood and stone house. There wasn’t a Post Office in Mini Forest, so the Mail Bikers had to stop at each farm for their letters. Bobbie was one of the few who didn’t hate that area, so she knew the people quite well.
There was an old lady, Soña, who had the hairiest guinea pigs in the region, and her farm was famous for it. She always had many letters from her children, cousins, and siblings, and she would invite Bobbie for tea every time.
On her next stop, there was a child who would wait for her by the farm gate. A little boy, no older than 6 or 7, and he was excited to show her his first guinea pig: it had long wavy and rebel fur.
— Like your hair! — He pointed at Bobbie. — My mum said we can dye her fur blue, like your hair too! And I’ll name her Bluebie.
— That sounds adorable. — Bobbie laughed. — I used some indigo and henna to dye my hair, just test it first, to be sure it won’t give her any allergies.
— Okay! — He smiled, and his two front teeth were missing. The Mail Biker imagined if they would have grown by the next time she stopped there.
After the Mini Forest, there was a much bigger forest, and people had found it quite difficult to live there. If one was persistent, they could find a few people, mostly small families, who lived amongst the trees, but those would prefer to live unperturbed. It was a difficult path to go on foot or by vehicle, but Bobbie’s bike was designed for any terrain, and she ventured amongst the trees with no problem.
The travel rations were nutritious, but barely palatable, so when the biscuits Soña gave her were over, Bobbie stopped by a river to bathe and fish. The Mailers had trained her to be good at winging it, so it wasn’t hard improvising a fishing rod with some thread and a stick.
Even though unseasoned fish would taste better than the travel rations, Bobbie used to stock some seasonings in her bag — basil, rosemary, oregano, and salt — so her food was usually edible. Sometimes, it was even good! Not as good as Séra’s pancakes, though.
As the plains got closer, flowers started popping up more often, and she was forced to stop her bike, lay down on the grass, and smell the sweet little petals. Some people hated it, but she loved it. At night, myrtles opened their tiny white flowers and the air was thick with their fragrance. Bobbie could build a house there, and she would live happily ever after.
However, there was work to do, so she couldn’t laze around for more than a day. Back on her bike, she rode through the plains until craters started to change the landscape. It was said those holes on the ground were a result of the fight between the Sun and the Moon, when fiery chunks of the Sun fell and scorched the world.
Bobbie didn’t know whether the story was true or folklore, but she loved those craters nonetheless. They made cool ramps for radical manoeuvres. She liked riding in circles inside them until she could ride the walls of dirt and rock; the momentum would bring her out of it and back to the grass, then she would go to the next.
Eventually, someone from the Underground City would show up and get her letters, then she was free to ride back to the south Post Office. Bobbie wasn’t sure where the entrance to the city was, no outsider knew, and since she had to wait anyway…
— Time to find a large crater!
Some of them were large enough to make small lakes, they had fishes and frogs, a whole ecosystem. Some had moss and grass, insects, birds and rodents scattering around, and some were burnt so deep there was only burnt earth. Those were the ones Bobbie liked the most, and her eyes glistened when she found one much larger than she expected.
With a smile, she fastened her helmet, put down the visor, and sped her bike. Before she started, though, she thought it would be safer to leave her things behind — it wasn’t like anyone would show up and rob her — and she didn’t want her bags to open and let loose all her belongings and letters.
Once prepared, she sped up her bike and rode down the hole. The first spin was slow and careful, a test. The second was faster, the third had a flair and the fourth was full of little flourishes. There was no one to see, but she imagined Ganen and Séra would enjoy her show.
Thinking of them made her smile, Bobbie wanted to see the girls again, get to know them better and spend more time together. They were fun to be around. The Machine was terrifying, though, there was no way of being sure that thing wouldn’t just wake up one day and destroy the world, but she wanted to believe Ganen was right, the thing was broken and wouldn’t suddenly turn on.
And then her front wheel met a bump. Time seemed to slow down for a moment and Bobbie saw the edge of the crater too close for comfort. She had enough time to look back at the now unearthed rock before her bike crashed and the world disappeared before her eyes.
Log. 20508.o I still can't believe it, the Robot Physicians, the ones who should help us! It’s almost impossible to break into the network they use, because it’s an array network. It’d be possible to access some files, but ideally, it would be better to get one of the Physicians.
It had been about a week since Bobbie had left, and Séra was feeling up to driving again. She had fixed and reinforced the hasp in the boot, so that no one could break it, and Ganen’s arm was healing well, although the scar would probably be a bit gnarly.
Ahda had given them the thank-you basket, with enough food, drinks and water for about a week or two, depending on how they would ration it, now all that was left was saying their goodbyes. At the hospital, Ganen asked if they could take some penicillin for the trip — in case they had another situation — and Myra herself gave her a few flasks.
— We can make more on demand. — she explained. — And if it wasn’t for you, all of us would still be sick, so take as many as you need.
In their idle time, Séra also managed to attach a mini-cooling box into the car, so they could conserve the penicillin for longer and also have some fresh food and cold water every now and then. It would certainly make their trip more pleasant.
And when the sun rose on their last day in Bridge City, Séra and Ganen drove to Tara’s house for their goodbyes. The family had prepared a special lunch for them, and Esha had some trouble hiding her sad face while they were eating.
— Where are you two going now? — Tara asked.
— We’re headed south, so we’ll probably stop by Mini Forest for a day or two to rest, then continue. — Séra answered between mouthfuls.
— Are you coming back? — Esha whispered, her eyes almost didn’t reach Ganen’s.
— I believe so. Would you like us to stop by for a visit? — the woman answered with a soft, friendly tone.
Ensha nodded a few times, but there was still some sadness in her eyes.
After lunch, while Ery did the dishes, Séra asked Tara how the girl was doing, and her heart ached knowing that the kid was a bit insecure with both of them leaving. Ganen and her had talked about taking Esha along, but it would make their journey much more difficult. Besides, she was safer in Bridge City than in the middle of nowhere.
As they were about to leave, Esha held Ganen’s hand for a second and gave her a small, shiny crystal.
— What is this? — Ganen kneeled in front of her and asked with a sweet smile.
— It’s a present. Uhm, my mum, not Mrs. Tara and not the Immortal Mum, my real mum, she gave it to me when I was younger. It, uhm, it protects you. And I thought it was broken, because the Immortal hurt me, but then you two saved me, so I think it still works. — She looked into Ganen’s eyes and let out the shyest of smiles. — It’ll protect you.
— I’m sure it will. — Ganen hugged Esha and felt the girl’s little arms around her. — Thank you, Esha. If there is any problem, you can send us a letter, okay? It’s a bit expensive, but maybe if you talk to Bobbie she can give you a discount. — Ganen winked. — It’ll take a while for us to come back, but when we do, we’ll be sure to stop by, alright?
— Alright. — Esha nodded a few times, and her smile seemed real for the first time. — Thank you for saving me.
— Don’t worry about it, no child should go through something like that.
Esha hugged both Ganen and Séra one last time, and waved them goodbye until she couldn’t see the car anymore. It was Yigor who got her back in the house, when the boy asked if she wanted to play with the wooden cars and trucks. She nodded and Tara didn’t remind them of their homework; they could do it later that day.
They left in the afternoon, and once the city was far enough, Ganen plugged her music device into the car, and Séra smiled as they drove with lively old melodies. Ganen’s arm was still painful, but Séra’s cuts were mostly healed — and so were her guts.
They checked the map in order to follow Bobbie’s trail, and headed south. They wanted to stop by Mini Forest to talk to Ennath; in all honesty, Ganen wanted to see the mini-llamas once again. They were so adorable and fluffy, she even wondered if they could have one — a pet was much easier to care for than a young human.
The night came quicker than they expected, so Séra put up the tent whilst Ganen was fixing something to eat. She thought of how that whole experience was almost mystical. She had left her home more than two years ago without a date to return; at first, her goals were clear in her mind, she needed to escape her fate, but now, as she looked at Séra, there were more things Ganen wanted for her future than she could have anticipated.
— Whatcha looking at, love? — Séra sounded happy to have Ganen’s attention. — Is the tent crooked?
— Not at all, hun. — Ganen looked back to the food, she was embarrassed for being caught. — I like watching you work, that’s all. I want to remember every single thing.
— Every single thing sounds like a lot. — She hammered the last peg into the ground and looked at her job. It was good.
—It isn’t nearly enough, honey. — Ganen saw her lover walking towards her and closed her eyes in delight as she was hugged. — I love you so much.
— I love ya too. — Séra kissed her cheek. — And whatever you’re cooking smells amazing!
— I’m making a stew-soup-kind of thing. With the things that would spoil first. I hope it tastes as good as it smells.
— It’s usually how it works, ain’t it? — She got a bit confused.
— Have you ever eaten a flower? — Ganen got the pot out of the fire and set it on the floor. She had a curious and funny look as she waited for an answer.
— Not really. — Séra didn’t know what she was getting at.
— They don’t usually taste good.
Séra laughed and Ganen couldn’t help but laugh along; she was a child when she had a mouthful of tuberose. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. The dinner, however, was delicious; the meat chunks melted in their mouths and the vegetables still had a crunch to them.
They laid on the ground for a bit after eating, and the night was silent, the stars were their only company. Careful with her arm, Ganen rested on Séra’s chest and took a long breath, it was good being on the road again, without the fear of people finding the Machine — or being poisoned.
— Let’s clean up here, lock the car, and sleep in the tent? — Séra brought her back to reality.
— Yeah, let’s do that. I think the tent is more comfortable than the ground anyway. — Ganen’s laugh was interrupted by a long yawn.
— Go to the tent, I’ll lock the car and be right there with ya. — She gave her lover a tender kiss and pulled her up.
Log. 20465.k.b We need to find out why. Perhaps, if we find out the reason, we will be able to fix it! Sometimes it’s a system failure. If so... they call me a dreamer, but I think it might be possible! Who knows, even people’s memories might be there, somewhere...
Ganen’s eyes were closed, but her mind never stopped. Séra and her were old in her dreams, living in Tree City and walking around the tree-paths, then she looked around and couldn’t recognize anything. The trees, ever so familiar, were different and distorted, the sky was strange and the stars were not the ones she was used to.
She started looking for Séra, but the people didn’t have faces, their voices were unknown and their words, incomprehensible. Panic filled her chest and she started to scream, people grabbed her arms and tied her to a bed, she had no idea what was happening, where she was or who they were, until someone held her hand and called her “love”.
Ganen remembered one person, in the past, who would call her “love”, but it wasn’t the same person from the dream. She didn’t recognise those brown eyes, the freckles she used to know so well, or the dirty blonde hair around that face.
She woke up drenched in sweat, her heart was beating so fast it could jump out of her chest. At first, all around her was darkness and her panic grew until her eyes got used to the dim light. She saw Séra sleeping peacefully by her side and took a sigh of relief.
Biting her lip and trying her best not to cry, she laid down beside her lover once more and hugged her.
— I don’t want to forget you. — she whispered with tears in her eyes to the dead of night.
Hey, Bekah here! There's a little extra nsfw bit for this chapter in my Patreon, in case you feel like checking it out. You can also find the pdfs with proper formatting over there =)
If you feel like supporting me, you can subscribe to my Patreon, or leave me a tip on Ko-fi!

[44/100]
In my feywild campaign, drinking water from a special well creates effects inspired by fairy tales. I thought I'd post my table (largely european background), in case anyone has fairytales from other cultures or backgrounds they could add. let's make some fun magic happen!
Rules:
a. The effect must be inspired by an actual fairy tale, not a movie or mythology (that could be a different list?).
b. The effect should primarily affect the person consuming the water (though environmental effects can be a part of it) - so try not to focus on magic items or NPCs
If you play with the table, I recommend you count any additional roll made by a creature already under the influence of a fairytale surge to automatically be a 1, except it just deals damage and they don't roll again.

d100 fairytale inspired wild magic surges

1. Take 3d6 psychic damage and roll again.
2. The Little Mermaid - You lose your abilities to speak and cast spells with the verbal component for 1d4 days.
3. Sleeping Beauty - You fall asleep for 1 hour, only a kiss can wake you before that
4. Snow White - you take 2d8 poison damage and are under the effect of a Feign Death spell for 1d6 hours.
5. Cinderella - you cast Alter Self on yourself which lasts until the next midnight. You can choose the form you take, though you cannot gain natural weapons from it.
6. Red Riding Hood - You must succeed on a DC13 Constitution Saving throw or contract lycanthropy for the next 1d8 days. A Remove Curse spell can end this condition at any time.
7. Beauty and the Beast - your eyes are unclouded by judgment and prejudice. For the next 1d12 hours illusions can’t fool you and you see clearly through others’ disguises.
8. Rumplestiltskin - you gain the ability to spin straw into gold for the next 1d4 days. alternative: Everybody forgets your name for the next 1d4 days.
9. The Frog Prince - you transform into a bullywug for 1d4 days.
10. The Princess and the Pea - you are vulnerable to bludgeoning and piercing damage for 1d4 days.
11. Pinocchio - for the next 1d12 hours, you make every deception check with disadvantage as lying makes your nose grow or gives you sneezing fits (depending on campaign vibe)
12. The Six Swans - you are polymorphed into a swan for 1d12 hours.
13. The Snow Queen - a swarm of snow bees appears and follows you, shielding you from harm. You are resistant to piercing and bludgeoning damage but after every short or long rest you must succeed on a DC10 Constitution save or take 3d4 cold damage. This lasts for 1d4 days.
14. Alice in Wonderland - Roll a d20. If the result is even, you grow a size larger and if it is odd, you grow a size smaller, as if you've cast the Enlarge/Reduce Spell. The effect lasts for 1d6 hours.
15. Frau Holle - roll a charisma saving throw. On an 11 or higher, you are showered in gold, on a 10 or lower, you are showered in pitch. For the next 1d4 days, you can’t get rid of this by any means short of a wish spell. In that time you roll all luck checks with advantage if covered in gold or disadvantage if covered in pitch.
16. The Goose Girl - for the next 1d4 days, you can ruffle your hair to cast Gust of Wind in a random direction. You may do this once per short rest.
17. Puss in Boots - a spectral cat companion grants you advantage on the next 1d4 deception checks you make. Every time this happens, the cat steals your shoes/boots or another piece of your clothing.
18. Rapunzel - for 1d12 hours, your hair grows very long. If you didn’t have hair previously, use an equivalent appropriate for your species/appearance. You can use it as a whip in fights, that does 1d4 + your proficiency modifier + your consitution modifier slashing damage, or as a rope for climbing.
19. The Pied Piper - for the next 1d4 days, you can speak with rats, mice and other rodents. Unless you prove yourself a foe, they treat you like a friend.
20. The boy who learned fear - your sense of fear is dulled. For the next 1d12 hours, you are immune to the frightened condition but you roll wisdom based checks and saving throws with disadvantage.
21. Briar Rabbit - For the next 1d4 days, you ignore difficult terrain
22. Red Shoes - you are affected by Otto’s Irresistable dance until another character uses its action to wrestle your shoes away from your feet. Use contested Athletics checks to resolve this.
23. Chicken Little - for the next 1d4 days, while under open skies, you have disadvantage on rolls against the frightened condition. Sleeping under an open sky leaves you with a point of Exhaustion.
24. Little Match Girl - You start to shiver and shake in even the most balmiest weather but can sit in a roaring campfire without discomfort. for the next 1d4 days, you gain resistance to fire damage and weakness to cold damage.
25. Emperor's New Clothes - for the next 1d12 hours, All clothing and armour vanish from your perception. Your attacks can ignore armour DC.
26. Urashima Taro - you have aged, happy birthday. For the next 1d4 days, you appear significantly older and you gain the benefit of one class feature that would be available to you at your next level. However, you make all Dexterity checks and saving throws with disadvantage.
27. Golden Goose - You are struck with exterme intestinal discomfort. During your next... Ahem, toilet visit, you will find a golden egg. Ewww. [20 through 27 courtesy of u/MutatedMutton]
28. Jack and the Beanstalk - for the next 1d4 hours, you can be easily convinced to give away an item of value and trade it for a randomly rolled feywild trinket. (Feywild trinket should offer some fun valued adventure.) So maybe not "randomly rolled." [u/derbyvoice71] alternative: lose reputation with giants. For the next 1d4 hours (or days) the attitude of friendly creatures of size large or bigger drops to indifferent, while indifferent large creatures become hostile. [u/badgerbaroudeur]
29. Goldilocks and the Three Bears - Your taste buds warp drastically, and you become very picky when it comes to food and drink, even potions. You may only gain the benefits of every third potion you consume, as it is "just right". This lasts for 1d4 days. [u/FungiDavidov]
30. The ugly duckling - everyone in a 10 ft radius must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or burst into laughter as if under the effects of a Tasha’s Hideous Laughter spell [u/Slightlyonpoint]
31. The Green Children of Woolpit - your skin turns green, and you can speak only in a mysterious unknown language for 24h.
32. Robin Hood - if you are the richest member of your party, you immediately lose 3d6 GP to the poorest member. If you are the poorest, you gain 3d6 GP from the richest member. If you are the second richest or poorest, 2d6 gp is exchanged, and so on. alternative: until your next short rest, you have advantage on ranged attacks made with a bow.
33. Herne the Hunter - you grow a pair of stag antlers, and have advantage on all attack rolls against beasts, for 24h.
34. The Giant and the Cobbler - every time you make a successful deception check in the next 1d6 days, you gain one free use of the Mold Earth cantrip, up to a maximum of 5.
35. Lady Godiva - your current clothing (including armour) takes on the appearance of a beautiful gown. It functions as normal while in this form, which lasts for 1d6 days or until you choose to remove it. Removing the gown takes 1 action, at which point the clothes return to normal and can be donned as usual. Any creature who looks at you after the gown is removed but before you re-equip your clothing must make a constitution saving throw or be affected as if by the Blindness spell.
36. Spring-Heeled Jack - you gain the ability to jump up to 20ft from standing until your next long rest.
37. The Hedley Know - you are filled with optimism about your situation, and are able to find the silver linings in any misfortune. You may expend some of this optimism to reroll any natural 1. The effect wears off after 3 uses. [31. through 37. by u/deep-blue-seams]
38. Das Kuchenmädchen - You really want some cake. Luckily, every edible thing you touch turns into cake, cake you badly desperately want to eat. After consuming it, roll a DC10 con save or take 1d6 nonlethal damage and increase the DC by 1. The effect ends if you pass out from eating too much cake, in which case any cake you eat forever deals 1d4 damage. If you survive the day without passing out, cake now heals you for 1d4 hp. This effect ends after 1d8 days.
39. Sleepy Hollow - you know have a Pumpkin for a Head. If you are mounted, you instill fear in others, otherwise, you have disadvantage on Perception checks. Lasts 1d12 hours.
40. Rip van Winkle - You fall into a short sleep (10 minutes), when you wake up, you believe 30 years have passed and you see everyone as 30 years older. The effect lasts for 1d8 hours.
41. Tischlein, deck dich - For the next 1d4 days, hooved creatures dislike you and you have disadvantage on insight checks against them. If you yourself are a hooved creature, you are also mightily confused. alternative: A magical item you carry is replaced by a non-magical item, that looks identical but disappears after 1d4 days. The location of the original item is up to the GM.
42. Hans im Glück - You suddenly lose an item on your person and are overjoyed by it. You gain a luck point every day for 1d4 days. [38 to 42 by u/Just-Zucchini8405]
43. Rübezahl - The next mundane item you obtain or find becomes your most prized possession, and you are convinced that it will turn into pure gold. You don't want others to hold it, as you worry they might steal it. Your obsession lasts for 1d8 days. If you lose it, you also lose your sense of direction, making Survival and Nature checks with disadvantage for 1d4 days. alternative version: If you lose it, you gain 1 level of exhaustion. After it is cured, so is your obsession. [by u/Just-Zucchini8405] alternative effect: You become obsessed with counting things, which makes fighting multiple enemies challenging. You have disadvantage on Attack rolls against swarm type enemies. this lasts 1d8 days. [by me] another alternative effect (guys, it's a good legend): All gold coins in your possession turn into out of date currency, leaves, sticks or other useless things, but all leaves or items of little to no value you carry turn into gold. [also by me, sorry]
44. Roll 3 times and pick your favourite option.

The following are not associated with a specific fairy tale, so I’ll exclude them from the official list. you are welcome to still use them though.

• ⁠Voice of a princess - For the next 1d4 days, once per short rest, your singing can draw in flocks of birds or swarms of woodland creatures to aid with tasks or attack your enemies. You summon a swarm of creatures appropriate to your surroundings (GM’s choice), that aids you for up to 10 minutes. [u/MutatedMutton]
• The Midas touch - the next object, creature or substance you touch turns into solid gold. For creatures, they succumb to the petrified condition. After 1d4 days, the charm reverts. A Greater Restoration spell can end the condition sooner. [u/MutatedMutton]

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:
   
   • Some frogs can freeze completely and survive during winter.
   • Octopuses have three hearts and blue blood.
   • Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating.
2. Unusual Historical Nuggets:
   
   • Ancient Greeks used to exercise in the nude during the Olympics.
   • The shortest war in history was between Britain and Zanzibar in 1896 and lasted only 38 minutes.
   • In the 1800s, radium was used in various products, including toothpaste and hair tonics.
3. Science and Technology Oddities:
   
   • The first computer mouse was made of wood.
   • A toaster uses almost half as much energy as a full-sized oven.
   • A single strand of spaghetti is called a "spaghetto."
4. Language and Linguistic Quirks:
   
   • The longest word in the English language with all its letters in alphabetical order is "almost."
   • "Uncopyrightable" is the longest word in the English language that can be written without repeating any letters.
   • The sentence "Go, hang a salami! I'm a lasagna hog!" is a palindrome, meaning it reads the same backward as forward.
5. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:
   
   • Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain in the world when measured from base to peak. That title goes to Mauna Kea in Hawaii.
   • Japan is made up of 6,852 islands.
   • More people speak English in China than in the United States.
6. Human Achievements and Records:
   
   • The longest wedding veil measured over 22,000 feet long.
   • The world record for the most number of people hula hooping simultaneously is 4,483.
   • The longest time spent balancing on one foot is 76 hours and 40 minutes.
7. Food and Culinary Marvels:
   
   • Carrots used to be purple before a genetic mutation turned them orange.
   • The world's most expensive spice by weight is saffron.
   • The largest pizza ever made measured 131 feet in diameter.
8. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:
   
   • The first video uploaded to YouTube was titled "Me at the zoo" and featured one of the co-founders.
   • "The Simpsons" holds the record for the most guest stars featured in a television series.
   • The actor who played Darth Vader, David Prowse, never watched any of the "Star Wars" movies.
9. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:
   
   • In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
   • In England, it's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
   • In Samoa, it's forbidden to forget your wife's birthday.
10. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:
    
    • A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale.
    • Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs.
    • A shrimp's heart is located in its head.

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:

• Some frogs can freeze solid during winter and thaw out in spring, continuing their lives.
  
• Anteaters have no teeth and consume up to 30,000 insects a day with their long tongues.
  
• Male penguins propose to their lifelong mates by giving them a pebble.
  

1. Unusual Historical Nuggets:

• The oldest known "your mom" joke was discovered on a 3,500-year-old Babylonian tablet.
  
• Ancient Romans used urine as a teeth-whitening agent due to its ammonia content.
  
• The Boston Tea Party, often seen as a rebellion against high taxes, was more a protest against a tax cut.
  

1. Science and Technology Oddities:

• A single strand of human hair can support up to 100 grams in weight.
  
• The world's first computer programmer was Ada Lovelace, who worked on Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine in the mid-1800s.
  
• There are more possible iterations of a game of chess than there are atoms in the known universe.
  

1. Language and Linguistic Quirks:

• The word "set" has the highest number of different meanings in the English language.
  
• The longest word in the English language without a vowel is "rhythms."
  
• The word "facetious" contains all the vowels in alphabetical order.
  

1. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:

• The country of Monaco is smaller than New York City's Central Park.
  
• There are more public libraries in the U.S. than McDonald's restaurants.
  
• Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain on Earth when measured from base to peak; Mauna Kea in Hawaii holds that record.
  

1. Human Achievements and Records:

• The longest duration spinning a Guinness World Records book on one finger is 4 hours and 25 minutes.
  
• The record for the most push-ups in one hour is 2,806.
  
• The world record for the longest handshake is 42 hours.
  

1. Food and Culinary Marvels:

• The first product to have a barcode scanned for purchase was Wrigley's Juicy Fruit chewing gum.
  
• The world's most expensive burger costs $5,000 and contains gold leaf, caviar, and truffles.
  
  • The world's largest chocolate bar weighed over 12,770 pounds.

1. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:

• The first movie ever made was the 1895 film "Roundhay Garden Scene," lasting about 2.11 seconds.
  
• The world's most-watched television event is the Super Bowl.
  
• The shortest film ever nominated for an Oscar is "Fresh Guacamole," which runs for 1 minute and 40 seconds.
  

1. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:

• In Switzerland, it's illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM in an apartment building.
  
• In Canada, it's illegal to use comic sans in official government documents.
  
• In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
  

1. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:

- Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs. - Human bones are ounce for ounce four times stronger than concrete. - A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale. 

Hello Empress of Potato Nation in all her glory, might I say you look stunning. Also this is a long one and wouldn’t blame you for skipping some of it, so sorry.
So first off I’m currently (28f) and my husband (26m) and I have been happily married for 6 years going on 7 this coming December. We got married December 23rd 2017 and even though we had a two year engagement which was plenty of time for planning my wedding we still ended up having a time crunch towards the deadline of the eventual wedding itself.
My husband proposed to me in November of 2015 in a beautiful botanical garden that was set up for Christmas, poinsettias and Christmas lights everywhere you get the picture.
So basically, my in-laws helped with absolutely nothing except one of their random family members making a very sad looking wedding cake for us with tiny fake flowers awkwardly transplanted around the cake topper that my mother bought topped with awful patchy edible glitter and random pencil thin swirls all over it. And my SIL, one year younger than my husband, made a crude flag banner with orange flags that spelled “Happily Married” or something (the wedding was white and orange themed because we originally wanted an October wedding since he and I adored Halloween but it was bumped to Dec). I was originally going to have a professional do the cake but I let my in-laws talk me out of it, that was a mistake. So that was it, no assisting with food, venues, planning, dresses, decorations nothing, not even financial help.
They wanted to “craft” everything and yet did not follow through, instead my mother paid for 96% of everything, made a bunch of the set pieces herself, and my father only paid a quarter of the price for my dress and that was it (I’m from a family that believes that the family should pay for the wedding expenses, at least my mother’s side). My SIL was also one of my bridesmaids, just consider her being one as me placating my in-laws, I know how to play this game obviously because I had known this family since 2011 when my husband and I had started dating while still being in high school, so technically we’ve been together for 12 years at present.
I had his family all figured out.
Entitled as F***
I also went so far as to have my husband’s littlest sister be the flower girl because gotta be greater than the haters. You’ll know what I mean in a moment.
Because my husband is in the military we weren’t even sure if the wedding was even going to happen, he had to apply for leave and that in of itself was difficult to deal with. December came and my birthday, Dec 19th, was fast approaching and we hadn’t gotten word from him. I remember sitting in the kitchen looking at the dining table where all the wedding plans were laid out and seriously considering telling everyone it was canceled when he called me and confirmed he would be there by my birthday and the wedding. However, mere moments before he called we had cancelled the reception hall, literally we were in the process of canceling things when he got in touch.
We weren’t able to get the reception hall back and it was too last minute to book another so we decided we would just have an after wedding dinner in the basement of the church that my mother went to at the time. This church was also where we had the ceremony and everything ceremony wise went off without a hitch. By the time the dinner rolled around we were outside the church taking pictures. We had hired a photographer but for some reason she called my mother apologizing and said she couldn’t make it and sent her assistant to take the photos instead. I want to say it was… okay. But a lot of her photos ended up badly exposed or blurry. But wait what’s that? One of my bridesmaids has her camera with her? And it’s a professional use one to boot?? How, coincidentally lucky for us I guess…
Yes it was SIL. Just to note here, she wanted to be the photographer of my engagement and wedding photos and both times I had shot the idea down because I wanted professionals for my wedding and my mother had taken photos during my husband’s proposal and those were engagement photos to me. She and MIL didn’t like that.
Her taking the photos meant she wouldn’t be in some photos, obviously I didn’t mind one bit but still acted like I wanted her in them to be a good sport and all. She took twice as long for us to do the photos with and I ended up using almost none of her’s in my album.
If you couldn’t already guess, his family knew my photographer. Pretty certain someone pulled something but no one ever fessed up.
Finally getting to the dinner I realized that there were WAY too many people.
I had specifically told my in-laws that it was to be a small wedding and I didn’t want a lot of people. Partially because the basement couldn’t fit that many individuals! But they invited as many of their family members as they could, what would have been maybe 25-35 people had practically doubled, nearly tripled in number! Somehow some way my mother, being the MVP of my wedding, was able to make it work even though she was so stressed but she wanted me to enjoy my wedding. She even bought me a chocolate fountain for it too on top of handling all the other expenses, I love her❣️
This is where things get good though. I was enjoying my time as best I could, cut the cake, loved on my now husband, people would clink on their glasses to get us to kiss you get it. At one point I decided to stand up to go talk to my grandparents when I over heard my SFIL (Step Father-in-law) talking with some guys.
They were making bets, …bets on how long we’d stay married for.
I mainly remember the time frame that my SFIL said, “I give ‘em 6 months.” One of his buddies said a year or something.
I was fuming to say the least, couldn’t believe they would be so blatant at my wedding. I always knew that my husband’s family didn’t really care for me and all, thinking that I was lazy and living off his income as some sort of leech while refusing to get a job or something. But that was pretty low.
Throughout the years after they would hound and harass my husband about me, making jabs about how I don’t work, doing artwork isn’t a job, I can’t be a housewife etc. My husband would have to constantly defend me in those conversations with them. It was obvious they didn’t want me to be with him from the start even in high school but still, they were still trying to get him to divorce me by insulting me in front of him.
Sometimes I wish I could let my petty flag fly, walk up to my in-laws and say:
“6 months huh? Try six years and counting hunny.” And that’s the tea.
I guess the best kind of revenge I can do to them is get a job they can’t complain about.
And I did
I’m an Art Director for an up and coming company. Making fairly good money on the side along with a Patreon and I’m saving up currently too. About to pay off some debt and living pretty comfortably. I also made it so they can’t ask for artwork from me ever again, thanks to me saying I need to stay anonymous. I did have a story about MIL getting mad over me asking her if she’d be comfortable with paying commission for a piece she asked for. She had gotten so pissed about it that she got my husband involved. But that’s an AITAH story on another post from awhile back that I had gotten a lot of good feedback on from commenters. All I can say is my SFIL will never see any money from that bet, and I’m glad I married my husband despite his family being way too harsh sometimes.
Extra: Icing on the cake in this situation is that when my husband’s younger sister (little miss professional photographer) got married, her wedding was extravagant as all get out! They paid tons of money for her’s but couldn’t spare a single dime for the oldest son’s wedding go figure (here’s hoping it’s just a gender thing, doubt it though). The same son whom they would gush about and even say that they wanted their first grand babies to be his children and such, more on that in a bit, yeah. Found out however that the wedding for his sister was actually rushed. She had only been dating the man she ended up marrying for less than a year (less than 5 months even if I’m remembering right). Then when her mother said right in front of her that she wanted her son to give her her first grand babies his sister immediately got to work to get pregnant. Eventually having three kids and her husband left her, this isn’t what he signed up for obviously so he divorced her shortly after she gave birth to her third. Guess he finally saw what she was really after.
The summary to that whole thing is that she hated how her older brother would get attention and praise and so she rushed to get married and when that didn’t get her the attention she wanted she made her mother her permanent babysitter in the end. Hope it was worth it.
Extra 2: A bunch of my in-laws would also be super negative about my mother, thinking she was controlling my wedding and doing things her way, when in fact she was doing everything I told her I wanted. She’s incredibly loving and yes a little bit of a pushover but she was not controlling my day. She did all I requested and more, going above and beyond to make sure I had the best wedding she could manage. But, his family just out right rejects my mother’s existence ever since that day. SIL makes it known that she hates my mother in her back handed ways whenever my mother is brought up in conversation too. At some point when my MIL was complaining about how my mother was at my wedding again (6 YEARS LATER AND STILL SAYING THIS BS) I laid down the law right then and there. Telling her everything, and she shut her trap pretty fast.
Extra 3: Just wanted it to be known that my husband’s family is huge and very prominent where they live. Lots of influence and such comes with that. Glad we don’t live anywhere near them…. For now, dreading the future.

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:
   
   • Some frogs can freeze completely and survive during winter.
   • Octopuses have three hearts and blue blood.
   • Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating.
2. Unusual Historical Nuggets:
   
   • Ancient Greeks used to exercise in the nude during the Olympics.
   • The shortest war in history was between Britain and Zanzibar in 1896 and lasted only 38 minutes.
   • In the 1800s, radium was used in various products, including toothpaste and hair tonics.
3. Science and Technology Oddities:
   
   • The first computer mouse was made of wood.
   • A toaster uses almost half as much energy as a full-sized oven.
   • A single strand of spaghetti is called a "spaghetto."
4. Language and Linguistic Quirks:
   
   • The longest word in the English language with all its letters in alphabetical order is "almost."
   • "Uncopyrightable" is the longest word in the English language that can be written without repeating any letters.
   • The sentence "Go, hang a salami! I'm a lasagna hog!" is a palindrome, meaning it reads the same backward as forward.
5. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:
   
   • Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain in the world when measured from base to peak. That title goes to Mauna Kea in Hawaii.
   • Japan is made up of 6,852 islands.
   • More people speak English in China than in the United States.
6. Human Achievements and Records:
   
   • The longest wedding veil measured over 22,000 feet long.
   • The world record for the most number of people hula hooping simultaneously is 4,483.
   • The longest time spent balancing on one foot is 76 hours and 40 minutes.
7. Food and Culinary Marvels:
   
   • Carrots used to be purple before a genetic mutation turned them orange.
   • The world's most expensive spice by weight is saffron.
   • The largest pizza ever made measured 131 feet in diameter.
8. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:
   
   • The first video uploaded to YouTube was titled "Me at the zoo" and featured one of the co-founders.
   • "The Simpsons" holds the record for the most guest stars featured in a television series.
   • The actor who played Darth Vader, David Prowse, never watched any of the "Star Wars" movies.
9. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:
   
   • In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
   • In England, it's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
   • In Samoa, it's forbidden to forget your wife's birthday.
10. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:
    
    • A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale.
    • Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs.
    • A shrimp's heart is located in its head.

1. Fascinating Animal Kingdom Facts:

• Some frogs can freeze solid during winter and thaw out in spring, continuing their lives.
  
• Anteaters have no teeth and consume up to 30,000 insects a day with their long tongues.
  
• Male penguins propose to their lifelong mates by giving them a pebble.
  

1. Unusual Historical Nuggets:

• The oldest known "your mom" joke was discovered on a 3,500-year-old Babylonian tablet.
  
• Ancient Romans used urine as a teeth-whitening agent due to its ammonia content.
  
• The Boston Tea Party, often seen as a rebellion against high taxes, was more a protest against a tax cut.
  

1. Science and Technology Oddities:

• A single strand of human hair can support up to 100 grams in weight.
  
• The world's first computer programmer was Ada Lovelace, who worked on Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine in the mid-1800s.
  
• There are more possible iterations of a game of chess than there are atoms in the known universe.
  

1. Language and Linguistic Quirks:

• The word "set" has the highest number of different meanings in the English language.
  
• The longest word in the English language without a vowel is "rhythms."
  
• The word "facetious" contains all the vowels in alphabetical order.
  

1. Geographical and Cultural Tidbits:

• The country of Monaco is smaller than New York City's Central Park.
  
• There are more public libraries in the U.S. than McDonald's restaurants.
  
• Mount Everest is not the tallest mountain on Earth when measured from base to peak; Mauna Kea in Hawaii holds that record.
  

1. Human Achievements and Records:

• The longest duration spinning a Guinness World Records book on one finger is 4 hours and 25 minutes.
  
• The record for the most push-ups in one hour is 2,806.
  
• The world record for the longest handshake is 42 hours.
  

1. Food and Culinary Marvels:

• The first product to have a barcode scanned for purchase was Wrigley's Juicy Fruit chewing gum.
  
• The world's most expensive burger costs $5,000 and contains gold leaf, caviar, and truffles.
  
  • The world's largest chocolate bar weighed over 12,770 pounds.

1. Entertainment and Pop Culture Trivia:

• The first movie ever made was the 1895 film "Roundhay Garden Scene," lasting about 2.11 seconds.
  
• The world's most-watched television event is the Super Bowl.
  
• The shortest film ever nominated for an Oscar is "Fresh Guacamole," which runs for 1 minute and 40 seconds.
  

1. Legal Quirks and Odd Laws:

• In Switzerland, it's illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM in an apartment building.
  
• In Canada, it's illegal to use comic sans in official government documents.
  
• In France, it's illegal to name a pig Napoleon.
  

1. Miscellaneous Intriguing Facts:

- Honey never spoils; archaeologists have found edible honey in ancient Egyptian tombs. - Human bones are ounce for ounce four times stronger than concrete. - A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale. 

Hi! I am wanting to get a custom cake for my boyfriend's birthday towards the end of May. I really want to get one of those edible paper cake topper things made to be put on top of the cake once I get it. I am just wondering if it would be possible for the cake decorator to put it on the cake for me or if that is something I would have to do on my own? If I have to do it myself - no big deal. I'm just worried I would maybe mess up the top piping border. I guess I wouldn't need a piped border on the top.
Thank you!