Voicemails to leave your boyfriend

(For context: everyone in this story is 25-35. Names are changed, details are simplified, etc.)
Two weeks ago, my boyfriend Bob asked me to be his plus one to his friend Freda’s birthday trip an escape room (hereinafter “e-room” for brevity). Bob doesn’t care about e-rooms, but he knows I love them and rarely get to do them. I immediately RSVPed for the both of us because the e-rooms have to be booked in advance and have strict occupancy limits once booked.
I read on the e-room’s website that it had some physical components including “dodging lasers.” My boyfriend is recovering from a broke leg; he can walk but doesn’t have full mobility back, so I wondered if he would be able to participate. But Freda invited him knowing his current condition, so I assumed the physical component must be pretty nominal. 🚩
FFW to last night: the e-room was booked for 10 people, and exactly 10 people RSVPed. About 20 people (including Bob and me) were at Freda’s house before the e-room for pizza and drinks. Freda comes up to me and says that she heard that I love e-rooms and that she’s excited to solve one together.
As a group of us exited her apartment to Uber to the e-room, I counted 12 people in the group and mentioned this to Freda, who didn’t seem worried about it. 🚩🚩🚩
Once we get there, Bob and I were among the first ones to sign in, complete the waiver, and sit in the lobby. After a few minutes, Freda started pacing between the lobby and the sign-in area. She stopped in the lobby and said to me, Bob, and a few others, “I don’t know what to do. There’s two extra people here who aren’t going to be able to play, and I don’t know who it’ll be…” She paused and lingered, implicitly asking one of us to volunteer, but no one did. Eventually Freda said, “Okay, executive decision: Bob since you still have a broken leg, Bob and OP won’t play. Is that OK with you two?”
Obviously, I wanted to say, “It’s abso-fucking-lutely not OK with us. If his leg precludes him from playing, why did you invite him in the first place? And if it doesn’t preclude him, why are we being excluded and not the two people who didn’t RSVP? And if even it does preclude him, why does that necessarily preclude me too? Why are you telling us this here and now in front of everyone!?”
But I bit my tongue in front of his friend and let him talk for the both of us: “Sure, no problem.”
Freda apologized and said, “Well, at least you can sit in the lobby and watch us play through the live video feed!” She said this with complete sincerity, as if it was any less imprudent as saying, “I’m sorry that I’m fucking your wife, but you can always listen through the bedroom door if you want!”
Bob asked me if I wanted to just leave, but in a fit of raging pettiness, I said we should stay. We hung out and just talked in the lobby. I was still really pissed, but Bob was simply resigned: “I’m not surprised. I’m always excluded from things.”
After about 90 minutes, the group of 10 came out of the e-room cheering, having solved it just it time. Freda, with complete earnestness, came up to me and said, “That was so fun! OP, you would’ve really loved it!” She started explaining how the puzzles worked, but I just cut her off and said we’d seen it all on the video feed.
— — — —
I’m still fuming a day later, but I don’t know if I should be. In hindsight, we really should’ve left as soon as we were excluded. I guess I didn’t want to “run away” from the problem, but staying just exacerbated it.
On the one hand, I feel bad for being the sour grapes at this woman’s birthday party that I was gracious invited to. I also genuinely don’t think there was any malice or forethought to her actions.
But on the other hand, it really felt like a slap in the face to be excluded in-person of everyone after we had all physically traveled to the venue. If we had been uninvited a day or even hour before, I still would’ve been very disappointed, but I wouldn’t have felt so disrespected and angry.

So to give some background, I've (20F) known his friend since first grade and we were friends throughout elementary to the beginning of high school. We were on the same bowling team and had the same friend group, which is where I'm at Frankie (20M) (fake name used). Now we fell out of touch during COVID and lost contact. A few months ago I went onto a dating app and matched with Frankie and we started dating right away. I was very happy and surprised that he was still in contact with Kevin (19M)(fake name) and then got back in touch with Kevin. Frankie and I Called and texted every single day and hung out Every chance we got, especially on Discord if we couldn't find time physically. This is where we get into the story. Now Frankie wasn't supposed to let me join their call or game whatever you call it but I wanted to watch him play his games while he was with his friends to see what it's like. He didn't put up a fight about it and said OK, and we started to call while he was playing games with his friends. Then out of nowhere, Kevin starts saying I hate N-word hard r over and over and over again. Going on for almost 40 minutes. Frankie was very apologetic and asked if I wanted to leave the call and I said no, It's fine. This is up to you to talk to him about because I'm not supposed to be on this call. He informed me that they Have talked to him about this before and he just doesn't care. Kevin knows that Frankie is dating me and is plainly saying this in front of Frankie. I was also hurt that Frankie didn't say anything to him while it happened and also didn't bring up how hurtful It was when he was dating someone that is black. Kevin is also just not a nice friend at all and is always standing up The friend group and Frankie personally too. I don't know how to bring this up to my boyfriend without crying or giving him an ultimatum because this hurts deeply. What do I do? Am I the asshole if I tell him to stop being friends with him?
(Side note: I know that people say some very racist stuff during games but it was a game where it can only be your friends if they have an invite with the voice proximity thing. So I know it was him and nobody else was saying it or laughing. I also have only heard nothing but bad about him since that incident i.e him cheating on his girlfriend, leaving his mom alone for the holidays to fuck some random girl, just blowing the guys off and going Mia for hours just to say he wasn't feeling it. He was never like this before (to my knowledge) and was just a sweetheart and would go out of his way for people. Now he can barely give anybody the time except for his friend group up at his college)

For context this is my first day meeting her since this is a birthday trip for my boyfriend and his childhood friend lives in the city we are visiting. We all went out this particular night for drinks and food, I asked her if she drinks earlier that day and she told me not much but sometimes. Anyways after leaving the restaurant we were all feeling the drinks and having a good time but we all quickly came to realize she was drunk like super drunk but we were having a good time and enjoying ourselves, we were at a casino, hotel , and restaurants type of thing so we went outside to sit on the benches for fresh air and while we’re all sitting and just having casual talk she pulls me hair sort of like a yank(I have long braids) when I turned around she says oh I’m sorry I was trying to grab your arm to get your attention.
Anyways I didn’t address my boyfriend about it because I know he would tell me I’m overreacting and it’s not that’s serious like he tells me with other things. It is currently his birthday and he’s out by himself while I’m here at the hotel bc since we got on this trip I’ve been feeling so embarrassed, I’m being heavily compared to the friends wife and it’s just adding on to my insecurities. I think I am too weak and insecure to walk away from something I know isn’t good for me. I don’t love myself enough and I don’t know how I got here.

Hey everyone, it’s been a while since I last posted, I originally posted this on a throwaway account but I thought I’d just post it here as well.
I’ve posted here before about my bf because of his selfishness in the bedroom, but recently some other things have happened and I want to leave, I just don’t know how to go about it.
AITAH for wanting to leave my bf and still being in love with my ex?
I (24F) have been dating my bf (24M) for 8 months, things have been good but one sided arguments (me talking to a brick wall) are pretty common. I have an ex (23M) and as much as it pains me to say it he is very much involved here.
For context: I was dating my ex, I will call him D, for a total of 6 months and he treated me well, if I had a problem he would try to understand and he would put in the effort to change and I would do the same. We broke up because he moved away, and we ended on good terms but low/ no contact. When we were together, I told him my heart, body and soul was his. (Which is stupid and naive and weird I know) I guess when you’re young and you think you are in love you say stupid things . When I said that to him I didn’t think I actually meant it, but now here we are and I don’t think my feelings for him have really changed in the slightest. A part of me still loves him and I’m terrified that in the end it will always be him. Maybe it was because he was genuinely my first love and I’ve heard that you never really forget about your first “love” because that person is your first. The separation absolutely broke my heart and it took me a while to get over it, after I was sure I was able to move on I decided to try dating again and this is how I met my current bf, I will call him S, S was good at the start of the relationship. He was kind and funny, and he was supportive of me, however he has his flaws like everyone, and one of those flaws is that he’s very selfish and he likes to turn everything against me. He did not get me a birthday present which was very upsetting and while I don’t expect him to blow all his money on me, just a hand written card literally would have been enough and it would have meant a lot because it was heartfelt. But instead I got nothing. I am constantly having to pay for everything because he decided to quit his job before ensuring he had another one lined up. So he has no money, no savings, no nothing. I found out he was following these only fans girls on social media and liking their stuff while we’ve been together, I tried to confront him and he reacted very poorly and told me that I need to grow up and then he knew them before he met me and that I was stupid and that I was just yapping. He’s very selfish in bed and while I won’t go into detail, I will say that he likes to leave me hanging after he’s done and he doesn’t like to reciprocate what I do for him. He will also go out with his friends without telling me (which I do not care about I’m not his mother) what actually bothers me is that other girls will be there and he does not let me know and I have to find out through his social media, and when I say other girls will be there I don’t mean “it’s one big friend groups and there’s girls in it”I mean it almost looks like he’s on a 2-man. He also likes to make his social media look like he is single and I will ask him to do a trend with me and he will say no because he is “trying to be nonchalant”. Some more information about my ex and my bf: when I was with my ex it was like he was my best friend and we could talk about anything. My boyfriend is not the same and we have the same conversations on repeat everyday and I’m just not as comfortable with him as I was with my ex because of how he responds to my needs, so I find it kind of hard to talk to him about general stuff.
So fast forward to my predicament, because of all this, it’s been building up to a point where I want to leave him. But I do not know how to approach this. D recently contacted me to check up on me and see how I was doing. And while I appreciate him checking up on me I have informed him that I am in a relationship and I am not looking to rekindle anything with him at this point in time. He said he gets it and that he has a girlfriend and I am happy for him and I am glad he’s doing well. But he also keeps inviting me out with just him and I’ve turned him down every time because wtf?? I just say “maybe one day” and change the subject. He also keeps reminiscing on our relationship which is strange because he has a girlfriend. I feel bad for her and I would like to tell her what has been happening but I don’t even know her name I just know what she looks like because he never brings her up.
I respect his relationship so I would never tell him that I still partly have feelings for him. Because I don’t want to come in and ruin anything they may have, if I can even say that he still has an inkling of affection for me. I just feel like I am losing my mind and I feel like a horrible person.
I will not be leaving him for D. Yes sometimes I do miss D and I think about what we could have been if I had just waited and held on a little bit longer. But D is not the reason I am wanting to leave. He is just not a great boyfriend and it isn’t working but I don’t know how to approach it. I am also leaving because it’s not right that I am dating someone and sometimes thinking about someone else.
I am a horrible person, I am naive and stupid and I know it.
I just need advice on how to tell him that I am leaving because he doesn’t treat me well.

Just wanted to post this here. I'm thinking of booking an appointment with my GP because I've finally accepted theres more going on with me than just my skin problems...
This past year my skin has given up on me, around about the time I actually started using skincare products. I think I've had a reaction to some common ingredients, and I developed acne for the first time in my life. Which has resulted in me obessively picking at my face (now that I think of it, picking at my skin is pretty normal for me, but it's never been my face. It's always been my legs with a pair of tweezers)
Anyway, It's also resulted in me obsessively taking photos of my skin everyday, and writing heaps of notes in my phone's notepad.
I've got notes of the ingredients of each and every product I've used e.g. skincare, makeup, shampoos. I've got notes of what I did everyday and the dates (like the day I put a certain makeup product on, the day I washed my hair with my shampoo, what I ate). I've got notes of my future plans for what I'd try next for my skin (like, if I think I should cut out a certain ingredient I'd write down 'go to the store and buy XYZ'). I've even got a note reserved for my 'future skincare routine' when I'm living with my boyfriend, and where I would keep each product in our house. I'm always researching new products, trying to find the way I can get my future routine to be as simple as possible because I don't want my boyfriend to ever know about my new skincare obsession.
Writing notes isn't unusual for me, but they normally consist of things like 'wake up at 7, get dressed, catch bus, study [certain class], eat lunch, drink water'.
This is where it gets worse though. My new obsession with my skin has actually started to effect my personal life. I've spents hours of the day just staring at the photos I've taken to keep tract, switching back and forth between my notepads, trying to figure out what ingredient might be causing this. I also spend hours just picking at my face in the mirror. This further resulted in me getting behind on my university work, so much that I actually ended up missing some assignments and getting bad grades for a lot of the ones I rushed to do.
And then, realising that my new obsession is resulting in my grades dropping, I ended up just dropping out of university. (for the time being... I am planning to get back on track and go back next semester)
But other ways it's effected me has been: not wanting to leave the house, not wanting to see anyone I know, not wanting to go to work (thats normal though, but normally it's not because of my skin🤣), not wanting to go to my boyfriends house because I wouldn't be able to do my full skincare routine.
I'm pretty embarassed that I've let my skin effect me this much. I'm embarassed of the amount of money I've spent trying to switch to new moisturisers, sunscreens etc. I'm embarassed that this seems to be the biggest 'problem' in my life when I know that theres far worse problems I could be dealing with.
But yeah, just wanted to post this here, if anyones going through something similar just know you're not alone...
:)

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/brokenheartedsister
My (26F) fiance (28M) slept with my sister (32F). Heartbroken and devastated. I can't move on.
Thanks to u/Choice_Evidence1983 for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, betrayal, self harm, depression, property damage
Original Post Nov 27, 2015
Hi Reddit. I'm posting here in the hope that someone can give me some advice, share their experiences, I don't know. I'm just completely at a loss. I feel like my heart has been ripped out.
My fiance (let's call him Jake) and I have been together for 7 years. I don't know a life without him. I met him at university, we stayed together past graduation, and moved into a flat which we bought together 2 years ago. He proposed last summer and we were set to wed in July 2017. We have had very few problems until now.
My sister (let's call her Sara) is an extremely volatile person. Growing up, I doted on her completely but she had a lot of personal issues that made our home life turbulent. Her childhood was very different to mine. My parents had very little money, they were on the brink of a divorce, my dad was physically violent on a number of occasions. Whilst things improved drastically in the years after I was born, she has an abundance of problems that stem back to this. My parents feel a lot of guilt about Sara's upbringing, and used to let her get away with some shocking behavior.
Sara had the same boyfriend for as long as I can remember (they dated from when they were 16), and their relationship was toxic. They habitually broke up and got back together; when they were good, they were crazy in love. But more often than not, she would have these insane arguments (sometimes physical) with him then take out her frustrations and despair on myself and my parents. I remember spending many nights lying by her side in bed while she cried so hard she would retch. After their arguments, she would throw plates and glasses at the wall, hit herself. Sometimes she would hit me and my parents too. It was like he was a drug to her, and she was emotionally stunted and didn't know how to see anything past their relationship.
2 months ago, her boyfriend called things off for good. I don't know what gave, but after nearly two decades together, he finally had enough. He booked a one way ticket to another country, changed his number, deleted all social media profiles, and essentially disappeared from Sara's life. To this day, she still won't explain what caused this, but it was long overdue.
To say Sara was devastated is an understatement. She moved out of their shared rented apartment, and in with my parents. I would visit her most days after work, where she would flit in between explosive rage to an almost catatonic silence, staring at the wall with tears streaming down her face. At one point, we were all extremely worried she might seriously harm herself and organized for her to see a therapist (something I had suggested for years). Of course, she backed out days before her appointment, and there were no consequences. She is, after all, a grown woman. She just hasn't changed emotionally in the entire time I've known her, and still acts like a teenager.
2 days ago. I went to visit Sara, who was in bed in her darkened room. I let myself in and attempted to speak to her, telling her about my day at work. She immediately exploded, screaming at me, throwing her pillows across the room, crying uncontrollably. She told me life was unfair. That I had everything and she was left alone to "rot". That everything wrong in her life was because she was a bad person. She hurt her boyfriend, she drove him away, she's ruined our family, she fucked Jake and didn't even feel guilty at the time. I initially thought I'd misheard her, but then she said it again. It was like she had poured a bucket of ice water over me.
I silently left, shaking. When I got home, Jake was there watching TV. It came out of my mouth the second I saw him, and I could see in his eyes it was true. He broke down, and told me it had happened 3 years ago. Sara had had another blazing row with her boyfriend and decided to drive round to Jake's looking for me. I was at our parents at the time and Jake attempted to pacify Sara. He comforted her while she sobbed in his arms, and one thing led to another. They had sex.
I packed an overnight bag while he followed me from room to room, sobbing and telling me it was the worst mistake of his life, that he still has no idea how it happened. That he felt unbelievably guilty the second it was over, that it feels like it wasn't even real. I left him in the doorway begging me not to leave.
I've checked into a hotel and have switched my phone off. I don't know what to do, who to tell, where to begin. I feel sick, like this is a bad dream. My heart feels like it's been ripped into a million pieces. For all of Sara's faults, I love her more than anything. It's the two people who are more to me than anyone else in the world.
How the fuck do I move on from this? I feel like I'm in a bubble. I don't know what's going on in the outside world. All I do is cry and sleep in this room. Someone please help me make sense of this.
tl;dr: My volatile sister recently went through a break up after a 16 year relationship with the love of her life. She is severely depressed and almost catatonic; I went to visit her one day only for her to explode and tell me she slept with my fiance 3 years ago. He admitted it was true and I haven't spoken to a soul since. I have locked myself in a hotel room with no plans of ever coming out. My heart is shattered into a million pieces and I don't know what to do.
Update Nov 29, 2015
Hi everyone.
I logged on this afternoon to find 300 + replies and messages to my post. I am unbelievably touched by the all people who reached out to me, particularly fractalfay's incredible response which spoke to me on a level I didn't think possible from a stranger. I'd like to thank each and every single person who took the time out of their day for me; I was so overwhelmed that I've not responded to a single one as of yet but it is truly truly appreciated.
Now onto the update.
It has only been a day or so since I made my post, but it feels like I'd been in that hotel room for weeks, crying in the dark buried under the covers. At some point this morning, I decided to draw the curtains open and let the sunlight in. I went and sat on the balcony and switched my phone on for the first time. It started ringing within 30 seconds. It was my mother, who burst into tears as soon as I answered. Her and my parents had obviously been desperately worried (this is the longest I have ever gone without contact) and had even contemplated calling the police had I failed to contact them by this evening.
My mom informed me that as I was walking out of Sara's room, down the stairs, and out the front door, Sara was screaming and wailing that she's sorry. Funnily enough, I didn't hear this. I don't know how. I think I was in such a state of shock that I couldn't process anything around me. Honestly, I can't even remember the drive home. After I shut the door behind me, my mom (who was the only other person at home) rushed into Sara's room to find her trashing her room and attempting to slash her wrists with a blunt lino cutter of all instruments (Sara used to do a lot of art). Obviously, this barely caused a scratch but jump started my mom into action. She drove Sara to the hospital, where I understand she underwent some sort of assessment and was kept overnight. She has, incredibly, agreed to undergo treatment for whatever it is that is wrong with her. My mom was surprised she was so complaisant on the drive down, willingly entering the car and saying nothing other than asking where I am.
Sara seems resigned and completely deflated; my mom spoke to me at length for the first time in my life about the hardships they had undergone during Sara's childhood. I am unwilling to go into detail and am still in shock about some of the things I heard. Sara is not devoid of responsibility; she has long surpassed the age where she can blame her childhood for her behavior, but my mom admitted through tears that not sending her to therapy at an early age was the biggest regret of her life so far.
I asked my mom if she knew why I had left; she admitted that she had known SINCE SARA'S EX LEFT TWO MONTHS AGO. At this point, I had to struggle not to hang up and I suddenly felt myself going back into that pit, but she begged me to listen. After her ex Harry (I am too drained to invent a name...hi Harry) left, Sara told my mom exactly what had happened. It was not the reason for Harry's departure, although he did know about it. Rather, he had had enough of being Sara's carer, and years of begging her to seek help had fallen on deaf ears one too many times. When Sara informed my mom, my mom told Sara I have to know immediately. Sara refused to tell me, and I still don't know why she changed her mind in that moment. My dad doesn't know for anyone wondering, and thinks I've left as I've also finally had enough of Sara's behavior.
Now here is where the home truths came out. I asked my mom if she knew the details. She was reluctant to tell me anything, stating that it had happened and that was all I needed to know. But I told her I refused to step foot in the house until I knew everything. She then proceeded to tell me that a few months before they slept together, Sara and Jake had kissed at my dad's 60th birthday party. It was a large family gathering with a lot of alcohol involved. I remember Jake getting very drunk with my cousins. Sara had a crying tantrum prior to arriving as her and Harry had an argument and he refused to come (she called me sobbing before she arrived). At some point during the night, Jake asked her if she was okay and hugged her, and once again "one thing led to another" and they shared a kiss in the kitchen. Sara told my mom that they were both immediately remorseful and vowed never to speak of it again, but Sara deliberately sought him out the night they slept together knowing he was unlikely to turn her down. She openly admitted she did it to get back at Harry, who had cheated on her during one of their many infamous breaks. I don't think I even entered her thoughts.
At this point, I'd heard enough. We'd spoken on the phone for over four hours and I felt mentally drained and physically sick. Any hope I had of salvaging my relationship with Jake has completely gone. I feel the last 3 years have been tainted by their betrayal, and the many years before that I wonder: did he like Sara this whole time? Part of me doesn't even want to know.
It's worth noting he has made absolutely no attempt to contact me other than a single TEXT stating "I'm sorry. Take as long as you need". As if it's inevitable I will come back to him.
Things are still up in the air. I don't feel ready to check out of the hotel as I don't know where I'm going to go next. I feel my relationship with my mom has been rocked by these revelations. I don't know what's going to become of Sara. I have no idea what I'm going to do about me and Jake's flat, where I'm going to live. I don't even know if I have a job anymore. I just haven't showed up to work.
But I know the truth and the smallest part of me is grateful for that. The rest of me is consumed by a pain I never imagined possible.
I guess there's nothing else to do now except wait and see how things unfold. But reading through your comments and messages have been more help than you can imagine, thank you thank you thank you.
And for anyone who has have ever experienced symptoms like Sara's, or has been around someone who is so visibly troubled, I beg of you: seek help before it's too late.
tl;dr: I had a four hour conversation with my mom, who not only knew about Sara and Jake, but informed me that they had shared a kiss a few months prior to the event. I am still in the hotel, still heart broken, and have no idea what to do next. The only saving grace is that Sara has agreed to treatment and will not be in my life for the foreseeable future.
Final Update Dec 26, 2015
Hi everyone!
I thought I would make a final update (to my original post and update) as I received a lot of messages over the last few days wondering how I am over the holiday period.
Once again, I'd like to thank you all for the outpouring of support I've received over the last month. The number of messages, links to help, and offers for a shoulder to cry on were overwhelming and touching. I apologise if I never got round to replying to them all, the last few weeks have been a blur. But I am eternally grateful nonetheless.
So, after my conversation with my mom (where I found out she had known about Jake and Sara) I went back to square one. I switched my phone off again, and retreated back into my hotel for a further 5 days. From the comments on my last post, I should clear up one thing: my mom hadn't known about Jake and Sara from the very beginning. Rather, Sara had told her about it at the time of Harry's sudden departure (meaning she had known a couple months before I did).
Eventually, I decided enough was enough and decided to call work. My boss wasn't angry, or even surprised, to hear from me. My mom had called him after our conversation and told him there had been a family emergency and I would be unavailable for the forseeable future. He advised I take to the end of the week, but would have to come to a meeting if I required any more time off work than I had already given myself. So my job was safe(ish) and I'm back at work and trying to get on with things.
After this, I went back to my parents. Sara was also home but holed up in her room. I went in to see her and she was up painting. As a number of you guessed, it is likely she has BPD, although my parents are waiting on a second opinion. She is going to counselling weekly, and seems slightly better. She broke down in tears when she saw me and we had a long long talk, where she spoke to me in depth about how truly consumed she was by her and Harry's toxic relationship. She understands it's for the best that it's over, but she describes the pain as "unrelenting: it hurt when he was with me, and it hurts now he's gone".
I know alot of you will feel disappointed that I haven't cut her or my mom out of my life for good. I still feel resentment in the pit of my stomach when I think about it, but truly, I blame Jake more than anyone else. Jake was with me for long enough to see some of Sara's behaviour. She's not well and he still chose to do what he did. It is a slow process, but she's my sister and I can't cut them out of my life forever. It will never be the same again, but maybe that's a good thing.
My dad, who had been newly informed on the proceedings, drove to my apartment and gathered some clothes and an overnight bag. Jake was not home, and my parents have not heard from him since I left. I have no idea where he is, and neither he nor his family have attempted any contact with me since this came out. His social media profiles have disappeared, and I have not attempted any contact with him, his family, or his friends. I began the slow process of telling my friends last week. I did not explain what happened, other than to say Jake was not the person I thought he was. They have all assumed cheating, but there is no reason for them to know who was involved.
I have switched back and forth between staying with my parents and sleeping at my apartment. I sleep on the sofa bed as the memories are too painful at the moment. I am in the process of looking into selling the place, however, this means contacting Jake at some point in the near future as the apartment is joint owned. I will cross that bridge when I feel a bit stronger.
Christmas day was a strange and sad one for both myself and Sara. But we spent it as a family, and for the few hours we were sat around eating and watching movies the pain was dulled even a small bit. As we were flicking through the various movies and TV episodes we'd recorded, I came across a scene that stuck with me, a scene that ended with the words: "la familia es todo".
I still spend most days with a hole in my heart, it hurts more than anything I've ever felt in my life...but it's getting better. I know I've got a long way to go, but for the first time I'm confident I'll get there.
Thank you for reading and here's to 2016.
tl;dr: Jake has disappeared without a trace. Sara is in treatment. My heart still hurts but I'm finally starting to get better.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I (34m) work nights and my breaks are 8pm, 11pm(lunch) and 2am. During my 8pm break my girlfriend (36f) told me that her friend invited her out to the bar. I asked how long she would be out for? And she said I’m not sure, I’ll be back for your lunch break at least. I said okay. Well how about this, since I don’t know that I’ll actually be relieved at 11, why don’t you just aim for 11 but don’t actually leave till I text you to let you know I’m about to head out. By the time I get outside you’ll already be home. The bar is 3 minutes down the road from her house. Well the whole time she was out I didn’t text her or anything. I wanted to give her her space to hang out and drink with her friend coz they haven’t really hung out in a while.
11:10 rolls around and I send her a text saying that they still haven’t let me go out for lunch yet. My texts aren’t being delivered. So I call her. Rings til voicemail. I text her again and say, not sure why my texts aren’t sending. I call again and she answers. She asks if I’m on lunch yet and I say no not yet but I’m thinking it’ll be soon. 11:30 comes around and I get to go on lunch. She doesn’t leave the bar. My entire break she just has me on FaceTime and I can kind of hear her friend in the background saying I wish I could set you up with someone else. And saying how she’s a patient person but after 2 times of this shit I would be over it.
And for me it’s like, we literally set an expectation, and she just tramples it. And she even had the nerve to say out loud in front of her friend, “im allowed to go out if I want to”
Like that’s not the issue. The issue is that you aren’t sticking to the plan at all. And the excuse is that you’re drunk and haven’t drank in a while. Am I the asshole here for being upset about this?

I think Blanche was visiting her older boyfriend at the hospital, and she ran into another woman who Blanche assumed was also visiting him. Then things just went downhill LMAO. Blanche assumed this was her boyfriend's wife, so the wife got angry and said "This is who you're leaving me for?? A woman in her 60's???" Only to find out it was a different guy🤣Can anybody remember the episode?

Hey there, I feel I need to exteriorize my feelings. I've been with this super guy for 5 years, I had just ended a relationship with my ex (35M), who I'm still super friend with (important for later), and I barely had time to be with myself and I just met my actual boyfriend. The thing is, from the start I never actually wanted to be in a super long term relationship. I was feeling down, he was too and we just ended up together because we kinda got used to seeing each other, and then covid hit and instead of him being stuck in his tiny student appartment, I told him he could move in with me. Things were going super easily, so we just kept at it after covid.
Problem is I know he loves me with all his heart, but I'm not really feeling the same. What I feel for him is a deep incredible tenderness. I would despise myself for making him feel bad, I'd love to be here for him as long as I can. But I feel it's more and more because I want him to be my friend, like my ex I talked about, with whom we have an impeccable relationship (him and his actual boyfriend are super close friends, and no weird things about it)
First time I tried to end it up was right at the beginning. And he just sat there, face down, and told me "Well, you're gonna do it so do it..." with the saddest face I've ever seen, it kinda traumatized me. I just got cold feet and told him I'm gonna reassess...
The years passed, and I knew he wasn't really for me. He's got some great qualities that I'll detail, we're really close, but the way he "is" is not something that attracts me generally... So I tried to end it a few months ago. I was kinda cold and distant, trying to get my speech and everything I wanted to tell him in order, and he catched on and asked me, crying "what is it ? Are you leaving me ?" And he cried and screamed and cried some more, telling me I am supposed to be the man of his life, telling me about our future life together, and most of all, telling me he's leaving far away. Most of our friends are mine to begin with and he doesn't want a reminder, but our friends love him still. Yet he still wanted to leave and end up all alone because of me. So I just ended up being weak and said well okay, I'll reassess
Problem is, he's unconsciously using "pity" or "sadness" as a weapon. I don't mean he's manipulative or anything like that, far from it. But he's instictinvely driving me to the idea that I will be stuck with him because I don't want to hurt him. I also wanna stay with him for a bunch of reasons I'll list below. Also sometimes I feel I'm gonna leave him and the moment he'll get out I'll be just a miserable son of a bitch, because I had a tendency to destroy everything that's good for me when I was in depression 10 years ago.
On the pros :
He's super nice and attentionate to me. He always think about me, tries to have moments together. He's really in love with me and wants to do his entire life by my side. I feel this is not something you find everywhere you go. And I must admit he really thinks highly of me.
Also we have a lot in common, we're pretty much inside animals, we like to geek, we enjoy fantasy and scifi, we laugh at the same things and enjoy most the same shows. I'm an "artist", I kinda write and draw my own little scifi world and he writes his own little fantasy world the same, and we exchange notes, that's also a thing I fear I might not be able to have with someone else who would be more "down to earth".
Also I must love him, because the simple idea of imagining him suffer because of me is making me almost nauseus, this is not something I can do to him...
There might be a "me", a bad "me" who's gonna be in shock about a breaking up with him and who's gonna get back into booze like I used to, and it really wasn't something great for me... He's kinda giving me lifelines, at least a presence that makes me obligated to be a functional person, and not a chaotic alcoholic.
Cons :
I'm not super attracted to him. I'm not disgusted at all mind you, I just... kinda force myself to have sex to make him happy (the first thing I think after sex is "that'll make him happy" or "that'll buy me some days"), otherwise, kisses and hugs absolutely. On the other hand, we kinda have the exact same particular taste when it comes to sex it's mind boggling. I might end up with someone who's basically vanilla and I'll get bored to death.
I feel I do a lot to work on myself, and I feel he doesn't. I try to do my workouts regularly, I actually lost 20 pounds in two months lately, getting buffed and all. I don't really care about him being a muscular guy, I just wish he'd... do some efforts. He's got incredible hair, but a good sized beard he just lets grow despite me begging him to tame it. He's got a little belly which I don't generally mind, but he doesn't try to accessorize it super well, he just kinda let his pants down and let his belly proud and open whereas I'm super self-aware about that kind of things.
He's got some mood swings, sometimes he just stop talking because something is bothering him which drives me crazy. It might be me who offended him, or his job, or he's feeling a little down, but he never communicates it, he just stays silent in his corner and I end up feeling guilty for actually getting shit down or enjoying myself.
Finally and this might be the most superficial but it's still something... He's not super assertive, or what people in another age would have called "manly". It's not that he's feminine, that wouldn't bother me at all. It's more that he's... "weak". Physically he can't carry anything heavy, climbing on a ladder and he's making noises because it's too high, he's scared about everything, he doesn't generally take the lead and he's super shy. I feel like I gotta fill these roles.
That's mostly it, sometimes I fantasize about having a guy who's assertive and gets shits done and who's direct. But I'm in no way sure I would meet someone like him who's checks all the things above as well as he does. And I'm ending up telling myself I could never leave him, and I'd have to spend the rest of my life with him when really... I don't feel like it.
And we're getting to the heart of my question... How do I leave someone who's so sweet ? All our common friends are mine to begin with, and from the second time I tried to break up with him he wanted to leave 1 hour away. So if I leave him, he'll just leave and end up all alone, that makes me just sick... Seeing him happy and full of joy with our friends is just great, and I wish he could just accept its over, stay in the region, and still see our friends (without me present) so I could at least not feel guilty about him being all alone. I would feel like the worst human being on the planet for doing something like that to him.

Hi all! I'm posting because I'm interested in getting to know people! I've been on dating apps for over a year and I just haven't had any luck finding someone that fits the nerdy personality that i have 😕 no one on dating apps seems to want commitment or a relationship so here i am posting here😅I'm from Georgia, I'm 22 years old, I'm 5ft 4in tall! I'm a black girl that mainly dates white men and asian guys! I'm definitely a big ole bubbly nerd that likes to stay in some days, and go out other days! I don't like partying or clubs, I do not smoke either! And would prefer that you do not smoke too! Please do not be a smoker bc I will not date a smoker! I'm looking for a man between the ages of 23-29 from Georgia that's interested in getting to know me! I'm also willing to date someone from out of state and do long-distance as long as you're ok with LDR as i desperately want to leave GA one day!! I would also like a man thats a bit taller than me and not at my height if possible😊 I would like someone to be at least 5ft10in and taller☺️! I'm also more into skinny/lanky men😊 If you have a motorcycle i will not date you due to a previous relationship years ago that involved a motorcycle accident and i almost lost my ex boyfriend at the time. Speaking of vehicles, i currently do not have a car as it broke down 2 weeks ago as im writing this, but i have a scooter that gets me to and from work. If you do not want to deal with a person without a vehicle until I get it fixed in the next few weeks you may skip past me! I understand if not having a vehicle is a turn off! If we are in long distance i will rent a vehicle if we plan to meet! I love reading! Mainly Harry Potter books and self care mental health books! I visit bookstores all the time! I also do not plan on ever having kids, so I'm trying to find a man that also does not want kids😊I love playing video games, my favorite genre is rpgs and jrpgs! But I do play other genre of games too! I like to paint in my free time, I love asian food, especially Korean and Japanese food! I love camping and hiking! Last summer I went to Tallulah Gorge and Brasstown Bald with a couple of friends on a 3 day camping trip! I am also a big lover of coffee and teas! I am also in school majoring in Dental Assiting! I am a huge fan of kdramas and kpop! And I love going to the arcade! If any of this sounds interesting to you just send me a chat telling me about yourself, and whether you're from the same state as me!😊

Hi all! I'm posting because I'm interested in getting to know people! I've been on dating apps for over a year and I just haven't had any luck finding someone that fits the nerdy personality that i have 😕 no one on dating apps seems to want commitment or a relationship so here i am posting here😅I'm from Georgia, I'm 22 years old, I'm 5ft 4in tall! I'm a black girl that mainly dates white men and asian guys! I'm definitely a big ole bubbly nerd that likes to stay in some days, and go out other days! I don't like partying or clubs, I do not smoke either! And would prefer that you do not smoke too! Please do not be a smoker bc I will not date a smoker! I'm looking for a man between the ages of 23-29 from Georgia that's interested in getting to know me! I'm also willing to date someone from out of state and do long-distance as long as you're ok with LDR as i desperately want to leave GA one day!! I would also like a man thats a bit taller than me and not at my height if possible😊 I would like someone to be at least 5ft10in and taller☺️! I'm also more into skinny/lanky men😊 If you have a motorcycle i will not date you due to a previous relationship years ago that involved a motorcycle accident and i almost lost my ex boyfriend at the time. Speaking of vehicles, i currently do not have a car as it broke down 2 weeks ago as im writing this, but i have a scooter that gets me to and from work. If you do not want to deal with a person without a vehicle until I get it fixed in the next few weeks you may skip past me! I understand if not having a vehicle is a turn off! If we are in long distance i will rent a vehicle if we plan to meet! I love reading! Mainly Harry Potter books and self care mental health books! I visit bookstores all the time! I also do not plan on ever having kids, so I'm trying to find a man that also does not want kids😊I love playing video games, my favorite genre is rpgs and jrpgs! But I do play other genre of games too! I like to paint in my free time, I love asian food, especially Korean and Japanese food! I love camping and hiking! Last summer I went to Tallulah Gorge and Brasstown Bald with a couple of friends on a 3 day camping trip! I am also a big lover of coffee and teas! I am also in school majoring in Dental Assiting! I am a huge fan of kdramas and kpop! And I love going to the arcade! If any of this sounds interesting to you just send me a chat telling me about yourself, and whether you're from the same state as me!😊

Two months have passed since I accepted my bisexuality. I have kinda known it for I had some same sex crushes over the years, although I always denied it until that one drinking game with kind and accepting queer friends. Everything is kinda new tho, also the bi cycle hits really hard. But I'm genuinely happy and I love myself for the first time in my life. :) I think about my previous 'straight' life sometimes. Like the fact that I remember that I had those crushes that I wouldn't have called crushes until my coming out to friends, and about how I would always be ashamed when anybody was talking about the gay community in a slightly negative manner.
Well, that life wasn't straight at all... the thing is, on top of feeling shame about my hidden sexual orientation, I had a single "fetish"? (I don't want to offend anybody, I just don't know if that's the proper word or not for what I have/am) That was crossdressing. I did it since I was 14 or so, and I even fantasized about it sooner (like 11-12). It turned me on sexually. I revisited it... still turns me on sexually. I think what the hell, I can't be trans, I wouldn't like to be trans :( at least not in Hungary. Even bisexuality is a pain in the ass here. And there's no kind of hormone therapy or else that would turn me into a beatiful woman since I'm a hairy, dad bodied guy flooded with testosterone.
The previous line of thought also suggests there's a chance I might be because I was like that (no way I can be queer) until I accepted I'm bi. However, I theorize that it all was a way to live out my bisexuality. Now I think it's a way to live out my submissiveness for men. And how I look when dressed as a woman doesn't matter, only the feeling, like satin, skirts, dresses and how the bra holds my man boobs, it feels really sexy. On the other side of things, if there was a magical pill that would turn me a hot biological woman for a certain period of time then I know I'd spend all my weekends as a woman. However, I could never say goodbye to my penis or beard forever😂 I could to my body hair, I would dig a laser therapy and I also would shave. Plus I know I would be happy as a woman too but I'm perfectly happy as a man who occasionally likes to try on bras, panties and dresses for fun.
For the coming out part: You know, hungarians in their fifties (like my parents) are usually homophobic as hell. Mine are only mildly homophobic. That means, they belong to the 'middle class' of people who say things against gay parent rights and pity Freddie Mercury about his unfortunate death. However, I'd take my chances because for years - dorm life in high school and uni's first year - I have been quite distant from them. I feel like I'm a double agent and I've had enough. I want a real, supportive mother and father from whom I could take advice in life's most private matters as well. I want what I feel I almost never had. I also want them to be a friend of mine. I won't tell my mother, she's too damn obstinate and seems to think what she says or does is always right. My father is a really good man I look up to: kind, always correct with people and always supportive of me. Now I'm at home but tomorrow I'll leave for uni (like 300 km) for nearly a month. I plan on telling that I'm bi, right before I leave, only to him. Tbh I fear he won't take it well and I just know he needs some time to digest all I will say. But now I don't need to tell him, I mean I don't yet have a boyfriend. But it will be easier if I do now, so it won't be so shocking then, IF I am by chance I settle for a guy. The only thing that bothers me is I don't feel that I can fully be myself at home and with them.
The bottom line:
So I'd like to seek out your advice. With all I've said, am I just a bi guy with a crossdressing fetish/femboy/egg?
Should I tell my father I'm bi and if yes, how shall I start? I get that he can only accept but not understand and this is sometimes even harder for fathers.
I'm sorry for the tangled up pieces of thoughts I have scraped on a sleepless night at four a.m. And for the long text as well. I'd really appreciate if you read it and helped. Plus, I don't know whether I should use the NSFW tag or not. For now (until you say otherwise) I'll keep it off because this way I might be able to reach out to more people.
Edit: Satirically, pardon me for my poor usage of the english language.😂 I feel that I must, like I'm too queer not to✌️🏳️‍🌈 (don't know which flag I should also use rn)

Hey there everyone. Fiancé and I have been together for 4 years, engaged for 6 months.
I’ll start off by admitting I’m a very affectionate person. I love cuddles and kisses, as physical touch is my love language. However I also enjoy making my fiancé coffee and lunches and chatting with him about his day. I tell my fiancé that I love him, that he’s handsome and sweet. In my opinion, this is a very normal way of showing your significant other that you care about them.
In the beginning of our relationship, he loved my affection. However, a little over a year ago, I noticed my then boyfriend beginning to pull away from me. He seemed agitated by my affection and would never initiate. He also began saying things like “stop fucking asking me that” or “I couldn’t be bothered with this right now” when I would ask him about his day. I asked him quite a few times if things were alright between us and he insisted they were. I began to believe I was making things up in my head regarding his cold behavior.
He proposed and things improved for about a week, however they quickly took a nose dive once again. A few months ago, after I confronted him one last time, my fiancé admitted that things were not alright.
He told me that my affection aggravated him. My kisses, hugs, and cuddles make him angry. He hated when I “pestered” him about his day or how he slept and he wishes I would just leave him alone. He doesn’t like when I cook for him or brew his morning coffee, because he is “not a child” (mind you I didn’t do this every day. Just sometimes). He even said he was struggling to feel attracted to me because of all this.
“Just leave me the fuck alone” is what he wanted
To say this cut me deeply is putting it lightly. I felt fucking crushed. Knowing that I wasn’t crazy all along, that his looks of contempt when I snuggled close to him were real, broke my heart.
He asked me to stop these behaviors.
I spent a few weeks processing. I would sit in my car and cry alone, letting it all out before entering the house after work.
Then I decided to do what he asked of me. I no longer hug or kiss my fiancé. I don’t cuddle close to him at night. I don’t ask about his day. I don’t make his coffee or lunch. And I don’t tell him I love him.
Within 24 hours of this, my fiancé was repeatedly asking me what was wrong. I insisted nothing was wrong at all and continued on. In the last few weeks I joined a new yoga studio and started leaving the house early in the morning. I also visit my mother and girlfriends more often.
My fiancé has begun chasing me around and is fawning on me, giving me his credit card to buy myself gifts and initiating sex frequently. I have sex with him, but I’m not passionate. He will sometimes sadly ask “where’s my coffee?” Or “where’s my lunch?”
Yesterday he told me I’m like a completely different person and he doesn’t understand why I’m being so cold to him. I told him I’m simply doing what he asked. He said “this isn’t what I meant” and started crying and asking if I was going to leave him
I told him no, not right now. Then he insisted he would go to therapy and work on his affection issues, but he doesn’t want me behaving like this anymore
The thing is, I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I don’t feel for him the way I once did. I don’t want to hug and kiss him. I don’t want to make his coffee. I like focusing on myself.
However, I do think he is a good person and I would like for this relationship to work. Things were fantastic for the first 3 years of our relationship and I don’t necessarily want to throw it away
So, do I keep up my frigid behavior or do I return to my lovey dovey self- despite that not begging genuine?
TLDR: Fiancé told me that my affection agitates him, so I complied and stopped being affectionate. He now wants my affection back and says I’m like a different person.

The episode resumed on a shot of Zee and Jo, their skin tones back to normal, running up to a smiling Chris. "Welcome back," he told the camera. "Zee and helper Jo are the first to arrive here, at the world's largest mud puddle!" The camera pulled back, revealing that the trio was standing near the edge of a large lake of burbling mud, a measuring stick rising out of it at the nearest edge.
"It's eight feet deep," Chris explained over a close-up of the measuring stick showing the mud reaching up very nearly to the 8' mark, "and 200 yards across. And," the camera quick-panned to the far right side of the 'puddle', "since it's too thick to swim through," the shot cut back to the couple and Chris, "the only way to the other side is with one of you piggybacking the other."
"Umm...," Zee said hesitantly, sharing a wary look with Jo, "doesn't that mean the person on the bottom..."
"Will drown?" Chris finished. "Yes."
"What?!" Jo said in wide-eyed shock.
"Unless they use this garden hose!" Chris added, a light chime playing as he held up a length of green hose.
Zee let out a breath. "Okay then. Guess I'm on the bottom, then."
Jo's eyes widened a bit in a brief bit of surprise, and she looked at her partner. "I should be objecting to this since I'm supposed to be the helper, but hey. No heavy lifting from me."
"Yeah…" Zee agreed half heartedly.
Confessional: Zee
"I was able to hold Jo onto my back while we were skiing," Zee told the confessional. "I can still do the same while under mud."
Confessional Ends
"I know that I said you were weak in the past," Jo said, "but that was until I saw that you were able to make it this far in the game."
"You thought wrong about me," Zee replied. "I wasn’t active at first in challenges and finding food, but with Julia eliminated, I was able to grow and become a finalist."
Chris suddenly stepped between the two. "How touching. Now start the challenge."
The scene cut to Zee and Jo jumping into the mud, the former disappearing below its depths while the latter, on his shoulders, held up the length of the hose. They started moving forward, and the camera panned back to the left to show Harold, Scarlett, and Chris holding up another length of hose.
"Yeah, I'll be on top," Harold stated.
"Pardon me?" Scarlett countered, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't trust you not to let me drown," Harold told her. "Self-preservation comes first."
Scarlett groaned. "That's fair," she said, taking the hose from Chris, "but if you let me suffocate, I'm dragging you down into the mud with me."
"Crustal," Harold deadpanned, and as Scarlett crouched down, she jumped onto the brainiac's shoulders. Scarlett stood back up and put the end of the hose in her mouth, and she jumped into the mud.
The tense music faded away as the camera moved onto Chris, the host sighing as Chef walked up. "You think the mud was a bad idea?" Chris asked. "It's a little quiet… oh yeah," Chris said as if in sudden realization, "almost forgot about the Peanut Gallery. Bring 'em back in!" he said into a walkie talkie he only then pulled out.
Moments later, the wind kicked up around them, and the camera zoomed out to show the large helicopter flying in with the former contestants still hanging – and screaming as they swayed ominously – below it. "Would you let us down already?!" Leshawna shouted angrily. "It's freezin' up here!"
"Yeah, I want to cheer for Zee!" Julia chimed in.
"If I wasn't tied up right now, I'd have half a mind to pound you!" Duncan shouted at the host.
The camera focused on DJ. "Hey, Chris?" he looked forward and asked loudly. "Just bring us down before anybody else gets miffed at you!"
"No, and I don't care," Chris answered with a calm smile, until Chef whispered to him. A flat note played over a close-up of Chris staring blankly at him. "Huh...good point," he admitted. "Ooh!" he said with a sudden grin. "I just had an idea!"
A flash took the scene to Zee and Jo, the tense challenge music resuming at a low volume and slow pace in the background. They were still slogging through the mud, Zee out of sight but Jo only submerged up to her stomach. She looked back over her shoulder, smiled, then said "Keep going!" into the piece of hose she was holding. "They're way far behind!"
Confessional: Zee
"So as it turns out," Zee said, "being submerged in the mud is kinda like being trapped in the dark. But there aren't any animals below to scare me."
Confessional Ends
The music ramped up as Jo suddenly stopped moving, then seemed to turn around and start moving back towards the start. "Uh, Fruit Loop?" she asked into the hose. "We're going the wrong way!"
The camera cut to Harold, looking somewhat bored as he held the hose atop Scarlett's shoulders, before noticing the other team and frowning. "Why are they coming this way?"
"Ugh! They're too safe to sabotage each other!" came the sudden voice of Chris McLean, the camera cutting to him standing in the show's jeep with Chef at the wheel, speaking into the microphone of the jeep's loudspeaker. "Deploy the 2.0 model!"
The shot cut back to Harold and Jo as they looked around with strange expressions, the sound of something like a rocket taking off coming from somewhere in the distance. They looked up and to the left, and the camera shifted to their viewpoint to show a large object shooting up through the sky overhead...
...then abruptly diving towards them, revealing itself as a red-eyed robotic bear with small jet engines coming out of its back. Harold and Jo screamed as their respective partners continued in their previous directions, getting out of the way as the Bear landed in the mud. It hit with enough force to cause a wave of mud, which shot all the way across the puddle carrying the finalists and their helpers along for the ride. All four immediately began to cough upon landing in a muddy heap.
Confessional: Harold
"At least I have a better shot," Harold said. "We're tied right now, but who knows what other tricks Chris has up his sleeves."
Confessional Ends
A close-up of the nozzle of a fire hose in Chef's hands preceded him blasting the muddy finalists and helpers with water, all four screaming where they'd landed on the shore of the 'puddle'. Moments later, the water was shut off, leaving them drenched but clean.
"We're all tied up," Chris announced with a smile. "Perfect time for a little break. First, let's bring in the Peanut Gallery again." He took out his remote and pointed it at a patch of ground nearby, a hole opening up in it and a rather shoddy-looking set of stadium seats shooting up out of it with the ten former contestants seated – and still tied-up – in it.
"Sha-finally," Lightning said, the shot cutting to him sitting in the top row with B, DJ, Duncan, and Max and Leshawna, Ella, Julia, Sammy, and Amy in the bottom row. "Are we gonna get to watch the rest of the challenge now?"
"Yup!" Chris answered with a happy smile, pressing the button on his remote again so that a large widescreen television emerged from another hole in the ground near him and the finalists.
"Will you untie us too?" Ella chimed in.
Chris huffed. "Whine, whine, whine," he said in annoyance. "Don't I do enough for you kids as it is?"
"No," all fourteen of the season's cast members replied at the same time.
A flat note played over a close-up of the host pursing his lips. "Yeah, I owe Chef twenty bucks about that," Chris said, the camera zooming back out again to show the finalists and helpers. "Everyone, grab a seat," he instructed, and the four reluctantly sat down on the logs lying behind them. "I'm gonna show you some of my favorite clips from the show..." He pointed his remote at the TV, and the shot focused in as it switched on and started to play footage of a confessional...
"Dunderhead was already pretty useless," Jo complained. "But now he's making moves on one of the actually decent players on the team? Not on my watch!"
The camera cut in close to show Jo pausing and looking back. "Something on your mind, Anti-Squeakerbox?" she asked, the camera shifting to show B peering at her and shaking his head.
“It's not what you think it is," Jo told him. "As long as they are on this team, Julia and Zee will not date."
“Not exactly how I wanted the elimination to play, but hey. Julia’s gone and with Zee still in the game, I could manipulate him into doing whatever I say,” Jo grinned.
The footage paused, and Chris leaned out in front of the television with a wide and mischievous grin. "Seems like there isn't a shipper on deck…" he said impishly.
"So you were trying to keep me and Julia apart?" Zee said as the camera moved to him and Jo, his eyes wide with shock. "Does this mean that...,"
"Yup. I convinced Julia to quit," Jo replied. "I didn't expect her to fully go through with it since I was gonna vote you out!"
"I can't believe you'd try and do that!" Zee said with a glare!"
"If I didn't do what I did, then you two likely would've blown challenges for us like the dueling one!" Jo argued back.
The camera focused on Julia in the Peanut Gallery. "I was trying to defend my boyfriend, but sure," she said dryly.
"I'm just worried what Chris is gonna show from Scarlett," Sammy said. "It looks like he wants to mess up the finalists and their helpers..."
"Maybe he won't show anything?" Amy suggested. "I mean, it's not like Scarlett and Harold were that close to begin with."
The shot cut back to a smiling Chris. "Oh, don't worry, I have no intention of leaving those guys out of all this fun," he said happily.
"I don't see how," Scarlett said. "Harold already knows everything about me now. I’m practically an open book."
Chris laughed. "Seems you forgot that the cameras are always on. So here's some more juicy information that everybody gets to hear." The screen on the TV went from static to a scene from the fifth episode.
Scarlett herself grabbed the dueling stick Ella retrieved, fished an electric eel out of the water, and tossed it to Max. "Max!" she cried, and her teammates looked at her in confusion, prompting her to pretend that she had coughed. "Pardon me!"
“The plan was for Max to be the only one not in the trap, so the team would know he built it and vote him off!” Scarlett confessed.
"I overheard Leshawna and Harold's conversation when they were foraging together, and Leshawna being on to me is something that I refuse to let happen," Scarlett claimed. “Zee's really gullible enough to deceive, and I'll try to talk to Ella.”
A deep, dramatic note was struck over a shot of Harold in shock. "So it was you who got Leshawna eliminated!" he scowled in Scarlett's direction.
"I wasn't ready to come out just yet, and between the two of you, you were less likely to warn anyone about me!" Scarlett retorted.
"So all this time, Scarlett was aiming to usurp her master!" Max ranted.
"I don't blame her," Leshawna commented. “As much of a pain as she is, I would've done the same thing and sent your annoying behind home.”
"Okay," Chris said happily as the shot moved onto him, "I'm sensing some major hostility and I'm liking it. I'm out of popcorn, though, so we should probably get back to the challenge."
"Seriously?!" the finalists and helpers alike exclaimed.
"Obviously, the helpers aren't gonna be very helpful anymore," Chris replied. "So, instead of helpers, Jo and Scarlett will now be hinderers." As he spoke, Chef walked back into view with a pair of video game controllers, tossing one each to Scarlett and Jo. "The island is now back online," Chris continued, "and, with these controllers, they will be able to throw up obstacles to throw you down, or, completely crush you."
The shot cut to Scarlett as she looked at her controller and smirked. "Good to know."
"Looking forward to it," Jo said in determination.
Harold and Zee gulped, and Chris laughed. "That was the good part," he said. "Let me tell you the bad part. You have ten minutes to finish this challenge," he told Zee and Harold. "If neither of you do, Scarlett and Jo get to split the money."
"Dude, what?" Zee said in shock.
"You can't do that!" Harold protested.
"I can! I will! I am! GO!" Chris announced, blowing his airhorn right in Chef's face, earning an annoyed sigh from the man. Harold and Zee immediately ran off, but the camera cut to a close-up of a thoughtful Jo.
"Well...I want the money, but I'm not really comfortable with how this is set up," Jo said to herself. "But...I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I just made this a little more challenging for them..."
"Do what you want," Scarlett said, the camera panning over to show her grinning darkly with her controller in hand. "I'm getting my justice."
Confessional: Jo
“And I thought I was an underhanded person,” Jo mentioned to herself. “Velma has less morals than me and Gnome Master.”
Confessional: Scarlett
"I was snubbed in the last episode," Scarlett confessed. "And now that I've been given permission, I can stop the finalists from winning without getting electrocuted!" She pulled out the remote from the seventh episode. "I don't even need this device. I have a controller to do the job for it."
Confessionals End
A few quick drum taps opened up a deep and dangerous challenge theme, the scene returning to Zee and Harold sprinting across the open field only to gape in shock as the pine trees in the background starting launching like rockets.
"What the heck?" Harold said. "Rocket trees?"
One landed right behind them, forcing both finalists to roll forward out of the way. "This island is wild!" Zee cried as the two continued running, more and more trees landing behind them like massive spears.
The two were shown together in a brief close-up, raising their eyebrows in surprise. A quick-pan ahead revealed the landscape changing, trees and rock formations rising up out of the artificial ground to form a large, dense barrier.
Harold jumped ahead of Zee as they climbed over the first big rock formation.
Zee vaulted downward and dashing forward along a lower 'path' among the rocks. Just as he was about to jump down onto grass, however, a boulder shot upward – and he landed on it groin-first. A close-up showed him letting out a high-pitched squeal of pain.
Harold's wince drew the camera's attention back upward to show him leaping from a boulder and grabbing onto the branch of a tree, only for the tree to suddenly shoot back down into the ground – causing him to yell as it dragged him down and slammed him back-first onto a fallen log.
Zee gave him a quick concerned glance as he jumped onto the same log, then upwards onto a rock formation before climbing onward and to the right and out of sight.
The scene cut back to the hinderers, both still working their controllers with Scarlett still looking considerably happier about it. "No need to change what works," Jo said uncertainty.
"What happened to that cutthroat attitude you've been displaying?" Scarlett asked. "Don't throw it away when I can get something out of it. And lower some of those trees. They're giving them too much cover from this storm I'm whipping up."
The camera panned onto the monitor to show Zee and Harold struggling against a powerful wind as they walked through what looked like a dense forest as leaves, dust, branches, and various small woodland animals blew past them.
A focus on the monitor's screen transitioned the scene back to the challenge. "I think...I can see the finish line in the distance," Zee said, pausing for a moment as he struggled against the intense gale.
"They're not making this easy on us," Harold commented.
The pair briefly passed behind a thick and mossy pine tree, the camera zooming in slightly as they reappeared. "Would you?" Zee asked.
"...I guess not," Harold answered after a moment.
The shot cut back to the Peanut Gallery to show them watching with worry and anticipation. "C'mon, Harold," Leshawna spoke. "Just hang in there."
"I know you can win this, Zee," Julia said. "You deserve it after everything."
Then the camera cut back to the hinderers, Chris standing next to their monitor with his hands behind his back and a smile on his face. "Ooh! They're getting close!" he said excitedly, prompting Scarlett to scowl and Jo to frown.
Once more the scene moved back to the finalists, their arms raised to buffer themselves against the winds – snow beginning to fall and lightning beginning to crack in the background - with Harold in the lead. "Two minutes left!" Chris called out over the island's loudspeaker. "Two minutes!"
"I...," Harold said with glee. "I think I can make it!"
"Not if I can help it!" Zee shouted, speeding up as the dense trees around him and Harold began to recede into the ground – and the tense and dangerous challenge music resumed. "If I win, me and Julia can go out and change the world together."
"I have to win this," Harold told him. "I've been undervalued and looked down on by my peers, friends, and even my family. I need to prove my might."
The snowy ground below their feet began to crack. A hollow sound played, then all at once, the ground shot up under them, earning startled yells from both. The shot soon cut to the new peak they were standing on rising up into the sky, then stopping.
"Drats..." Zee muttered, both finalists looking down with wide eyes. his final word echoed as the camera zoomed out, revealing the snowy mountain they were now at the top of.
The Peanut Gallery was shown gasping, as were Jo, though Scarlett was smiling as their misfortune. "Twenty seconds left...!" Chris said as the camera moved on to him looking at his watch.
The shot cut back to Harold. "I guess it's over," he sighed. “Scarlett wins after all.”
Zee noticed a bulge in the snow beside him. The boy shoved his hand into it and pulled out the phone Duncan stole from Chris. "I don't know how this got here, but we have to get down. Start stomping the ground."
Harold nodded and stomped on the ground at his feet, and after a few cracks, Zee hurled the phone down, breaking the device apart. Their eyes widened as the mountain began to crumble under them, and the ground imploded in on itself.
"Six! Five!" Chris began to count off, the music cutting out save for a single plodding note to highlight each number. "Four!" The camera panned onto the television, showing both finalists tumbling through the snow and rock. "Three! Two! One!" The shot cut to the finish banner, then zoomed out to show the avalanche stopping just under it – with neither finalist in sight. "GAME OVER!" he announced, blowing on his airhorn as a subdued but triumphant riff played.
Jo stood up in surprise, and Scarlett started cheering.
"My mission was a success!" Scarlett said in victory. “Now hand over my well-deserved prize!”
"Congratulations Jo and Scarlett," Chris said with his usual smile. "Revenge is sweetest-" he glanced at the monitor- "ohhhhh, what have we here?" he said with a sudden look of shock, the music cutting out as he pointed at the television screen.
A sharp note played as a familiar hand stuck out of the snow lying just past the finish line and waved. Scarlett's jaw dropped in shock, and Jo let out a sigh of relief.
The scene cut to the finish line, the camera pulling back a little ways as Chef walked up with a stretcher, dressed as a female nurse. Leshawna ran onscreen and pushed him out of the way. Chef flew off frame with a shout, and Leshawna grabbed the arm and pulled, freeing a shocked and snowy Harold from the aftermath of the avalanche. "Oh," he groaned, looking around as Leshawna dropped him on the stretcher, "what happened?" he asked as the victorious music began to play again with much more enthusiasm.
"You won, Ginger Baby!" Leshawna answered with a smile, the camera pulling out even more to show Harold looking back at the finish banner.
"I did it!" Harold said excitedly. "Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V has claimed victory! Boo yah!" he raised his arms and cheered, the shot cutting away to show all of the Peanut Gallery cheering.
“We weren't able to talk to each other as much, and it's clear we like each other as more than just friends, but how about we hang out a little bit back home and see where things go?” Leshawna suggested.
“As long as we don't rush into a committed relationship, I'd like that,” Harold smiled back.
The camera panned to the left to show Julia frantically pulling a dazed and half-conscious Zee from the rest of the avalanche, and picking him up onto her back.
"Julia," Zee said weakly, "I'm sorry that I-"
"Be quiet," Julia said with a weak smile as she carried her boyfriend over to the stretcher and set him down next to Harold. "You need to rest."
"But-" Zee tried to say.
He was cut off by Julia grabbing his head and kissing him full on the lips. "You didn’t win the money, but we can still provide for the world in our own ways, and with the power of love," she said with a smile as she broke the kiss, leaving Zee looking dopey.
The capstone theme began to play as the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the open sky, the double-rotored helicopter soon flying up into view. "That's it for this very, very off season," Chris began, standing in the open doorway with Zee and Julia sitting on the edge letting their legs dangle freely with Julia leaning into Zee; Harold and Scarlett standing on either side of Chris, the latter annoyed and the former grinning while holding the suitcase full of money to his chest; and the rest of the cast, crouching down and peering over in the gaps between and behind the rest, constantly jockeying for position as they tried to get one last shot of themselves on camera.
"This is Chris McLean, saying if you can't stand the pain-" the handsome host continued, the shot cutting in closer- "stay off the Total! Drama! Paaaahkitew Island!"
"RE-VENGE!" Max suddenly yelled from behind Scarlett, shoving her out of the helicopter, and the brainiac screamed as she fell.
The camera lingered on the dumbfounded looks of Chris and the other ex-campers, all of them staring at Max in shock. "This is how a traitor should be rewarded," he said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes defiantly.
The ex-campers and host burst out laughing, and a fun and energetic tune started to play. The camera panned over to the windshield to show Chef laughing along with the rest of the cast from the pilot's seat, and the helicopter flew away.
The music soon faded away, though, and the scene quick-panned down to show a screaming Scarlett landing in the giant mud puddle. She quickly surfaced with a shocked splutter, and pulled herself out onto dry land. "How am I going to get home now because of those imbeciles?!"
A few ominous notes were struck, and a ferocious growl caught Scarlett's attention. She looked up, and the camera zoomed out to show Scuba Bear 2.0 standing over her, eyes red. "Heheh," the brainiac laughed nervously. "You're not going to hurt me are you?"
The scene abruptly cut outward to the full long-distance shot of the island, the ominous music ending as Scarlett's scream and Scuba Bear's snarl echoed across the lake.
(Roll the Credits)
Lightning - 14th
DJ - 13th
Amy - 12th
B - 11th
Julia - 10th
Max - 9th
Leshawna - 8th
MERGE
Jo - 7th
Duncan - 6th
Ella - 5th
Sammy - 4th
Scarlett - 3rd
Zee - 2nd
Harold - 1st

Boys: Harold, Zee
Episode 13: Lies, Cries, and One Big Prize
"Previously, on Total Drama. Zee, Scarlett, and Harold created their own challenges!"
"Zee went with balancing, which bit big time for Scarlett and gave Harold the shock of his life."
"Harold's treetop race was more entertaining than a sawing monkey. Surprisingly, Scarlett won the challenge, and Harold fell from grace and the trees."
"So, it all came down to Scarlett's challenge: a trivia challenge about the former competitors. Zee didn't have too good a start, but quickly earned himself a spot in the finale."
"It all came down to a final question, and one that Scarlett ironically got wrong. Bye-bye!"
The montage ended with a flash, showing a close-up of Chris in front of a bare rock wall. "Down to two from three," he said, holding up three fingers but lowering one of them, "cause now we're Scarlett-free. But," he lowered another finger, "it'll still be neat to see who gets beat," he punched his open palm. "So! Grab a seat. There's one million bucks on the line," the shot cut to a robotic arm lifting up the open suitcase full of prize money against a radiant orange-and-gold background. "Iiiiiit's finale time!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him.
"On Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Theme Song)
A deep note played as the episode opened on the bunker, the sky dark and the crickets chirping. A deep sigh issued forth from it, and the camera soon cut inside to show Harold tossing and turning in his bed. He got up and grabbed a pillow from the bed above him and closed his eyes with a smile, only to open them and sigh again.
Confessional: Harold
"It's no use," Harold sighed in the confessional. "I just can't get to sleep. I'm too anxious about tomorrow. I don't know if Zee is having the same trouble as I am..."
“It’d be cool if I win the last challenge. Just think about how much better my life would be. No more wedgies, wet willies, and toilet face plunges, my peers would respect me more as a million dollar winner, and I can invest the money in a way that’ll make me more than the show has to afford.”
Confessional Ends
The static cut away to show Harold turning his back to the camera with another sigh, then the shot cut to the inside of the barn to show Zee sleeping peacefully and snoring rather loudly.
Confessional: Zee
"This is a high stress situation, but I’m able to get some rest in order to ease it," Zee explained. "Even if it’s a million dollar competition against Harold."
Confessional Ends
An angelic sound played as the shot returned to a close-up of Harold, his eyes blinking blearily to sleep as the light of dawn streamed in through a window high on the wall above him.
Just as he and the music seemed to reach a peaceful rest, the wail of an airhorn pierced the walls and forced Harold back into wakefulness, his eyes snapping open wide and bloodshot. "Harold and Zee," Chris announced over the camp loudspeakers, the screen splitting in two with a shot of the good vibe guy blearily waking up sliding in on the left. "Meeting area, now!"
The scene flashed to Zee and Harold standing before Chris in the open meeting area. "Yes! Today, I fire one of you from a cannon," he greeted excitedly. "And then start my vacation."
"Plus you'll hand one of us a million dollars," Harold added with a grin.
"I haven't forgotten, dude," Chris said in annoyance. "I'm just focusing on the parts that bring me the most joy. Okay?"
"What's the challenge?" Zee asked. "Is it physical or have you decided on something else?"
Harold grinned. "Total Drama finales are always physical," he said. "And while I am classified as a brain, I'm afraid I have more fighting skills than you."
"Don't get too overconfident just yet," Zee warned. "I might surprise you."
"If I may continue?" Chris interrupted, his annoyed expression soon dropping. "Your final challenge is so demanding, the lawyers insisted each of you get a helper. Ehh," he shrugged, "it's not a horrible idea. I mean," the shot cut to the finalists as they watched him, "maybe they'll be able to help us find your bodies!" Zee and Harold shared a brief but wary look. "So, which of the past contestants would you like as a helper?" Chris asked, stepping over to them.
Confessional: Zee
"I'd prefer Julia," Zee told the outhouse camera. "She's really rad, and we work well together. But I wouldn't be too upset over having anybody else as a helper. Well, except for Scarlett."
Confessional: Harold
"It's no surprise that I'd prefer Leshawna over anyone else," Harold confessed. "She can handle her own battles and objectively speaking, she is the most physically attractive girl this season. I just wish that we were able to talk to each other before she left."
Confessionals End
"I choose Leshawna," Harold said with a smile as the static cut away and a triumphant tune played...for a few brief moments.
Chris chuckled. "'Choose'?" he repeated, laughing again. "Nooo, no no no no no no no...," he told the finalists.
"But you just asked us-," Zee pointed out in confusion.
"I know," Chris conceded, "I asked you who you wanted, I did that to be mean." He laughed again as the sound of squeaky wheels approached. "Your helpers-" the camera pulled back to show Chef pushing a large widescreen monitor up to the host on a cart- "will be selected thusly! When you press this button," he held up a remote control with a single red button on it, "the possible helpers will flash across the screen." A game show jingle played as the shot cut to the monitor, now showing the portraits of the eliminated contestants rolling down across the screen as if on a reel. "Whoever's face it stops on, is your helper."
The reel stopped on an image of Scarlett after drinking Juggy Chunks. "What happens if we land on someone we don't want?" Harold asked.
"You each get one chance to pass and spin again," Chris answered with a wide grin as the sound of a helicopter grew louder. "And just to make things even more interesting," he added, growing more and more giddy with each moment, "I've brought all the helpers out to watch!"
"RELEASE ME, YOU CRETIN! I DEMAND IT!" shouted a familiar voice.
Harold and Zee gasped as the music spiked, and the shot cut to the same dual-rotor military helicopter that Chris and Chef had taken shelter in during the island's malfunctioning as it flew in overhead.
Then the camera panned downward to show the twelve eliminated campers dangling under it tied up in ropes – Max on the far left, then Amy, Sammy, Duncan, Ella, B, Lightning, Scarlett, Julia, DJ, Leshawna, and finally Jo on the far right.
"What's the big idea, McLean?!" Jo shouted hatefully, the shot cutting in close to her and Leshawna.
"Yeah," Leshawna chimed in, "why do I gotta be hanging next to her!" The two girls locked eyes and glared.
"I don't think that's the issue here..." DJ said, the camera panning onto him.
"I personally don't mind being tied up like this," Julia said in a positive tone, the camera pulling back to show her smiling. "I'm just happy to see my boyfriend in the finale."
"I didn't even want to show up, but I would appreciate it if I was actually seated," Scarlett said in a grumpy tone.
"Sha-yeah!" Lightning agreed as the camera panned onto him. "Chris, these ropes might cause Lightning some bruising. Can we get them loosened a bit?"
Scarlett gave Lightning an incredulous look. "You do realize that if the ropes are loosened, you'll fall?"
"Lightning will just get back up again," Lightning told her obliviously.
The camera cut back to B. It lingered on him for a few moments as he awkwardly looked from side to side, then directly at the camera as he smiled coolly.
"Despite this drastic situation we're in," Ella sang after the song panned to her, "I still want either Zee or Harold to win~!"
Another pan to the left showed Duncan watching her. "My money's on Harold," he said, shrugging.
“And how come?” Ella asked.
"Zee's cool and all, but I just know the dork better," Duncan answered.
"Really?" Geoff asked, raising a eyebrow in disbelief. "Are the shows in Jersey really that terrible to watch?"
"They are if ya don't have tickets!" Anne Maria answered happily.
Yet another pan put the focus on Amy and Sammy. "Are you still not going to apologize for how you've treated me ever since we were little?" Sammy asked.
"And why should I?" Amy replied in slight irritation.
"Because I put you in your place and pointed out your own flaws," Sammy explained. “The least you can do is be humble a bit.”
"You may have gotten further than me, but you still didn’t win the season," Amy bragged. “You're a bowl of mush, and I'm a parfait, which is French for perfect.”
“So what's French for bossy blonde cow?” Sammy taunted with a smirk. “I know! Vache blonde autoritaire!”
"You are so going to get it," Amy growled.
The camera pulled back to show Max clenching his eyes shut in pain. "Would you two identical ladies cease that annoying racket?!" he finally yelled with another force to startle Amy and Sammy into looking at him. "Thank y-" he began to say plainly before Amy smacked him in the head. "Hey!" he said, cringing at the hit.
"Okay," Chris said, the music turning slow and plodding as the camera cut back to him, Zee and Harold. "Now that the Peanut Gallery has had a chance to reintroduce themselves, let's move on."
"Whoa, hold on a minute," Zee held up a hand to interrupt. "Why? How? When?"
"Uh, you're gonna have to be a little more specific there," Chris told him, raising an eyebrow.
"He means why are they all tied up?" Harold translated.
Chris let out a long, irritated sigh. "Fine," he said. "I'm keeping them tied up and in plain sight so we don't have them float towards the sun, okay?"
"No," Harold said bluntly.
"Not really," Zee replied.
"Whatever," Chris told them, his brow creased in annoyance. His expression then changed into a smile. "Who goes first will be decided by a coin toss," he explained, taking out a coin and flipping it towards the campers.
It hit Zee in the eye. He yelped in pain, rubbing where he'd been hit.
"Zee wins!" Chris happily announced. "Let's see who you get," he said as the game show jingled played again.
The shot cut to a close-up of the monitor as the portraits began to scroll past, Zee uttering a series of grunts as she watched off-screen – some hopeful, some annoyed. "Okay, stop," he said after a few seconds, the camera moving to him as he pressed the button on his remote.
The simulated reel stopped on Jo. "Not who I wanted at all," Zee said in disappointment as a triumphant jingle played, "but I got what I got and I'm not gonna throw a fit."
"Harold," Chris said, the camera moving back to the finalists as the dweeb pursed his lips, "you're up."
The game show jingle played, and the portraits started flashing across the monitor again – until they stopped on Scarlett. "No..." Harold groaned.
Confessional: Harold
"I knew the odds of getting Leshawna were slim," Harold confessed. "But I want a helper who would actually assist me."
Confessional Ends
An odd note played as the shot cut back to Zee, Harold, and Chris, the latter two sharing a look. "I'd like to spin again," Harold said.
"Have at it," Chris replied, the shot briefly cutting to the pictures flashing across the monitor again.
Harold pressed the button, and sagged in defeat – and the camera cut to the monitor to show that it had landed on Scarlett again. The camera moved in front of Chris as he gave her a mischievous look. "Scarlett again?" he asked in fake shock. "What are the odds?"
The camera pulled back as Chris turned to the right and nodded at Chef, who returned the gesture and walked away. "Okay, looks like Zee gets Jo and Harold gets Scarlett," Chris said, nodding toward the helicopter. The ropes tied around the two chosen helpers abruptly came loose, causing both to fall, but while Scarlett landed in an awkward flop, Jo simply tucked her legs in and rolled as a light but triumphant tune played.
She got back onto her feet just as Zee walked up to her. "Hey Jo. I know we haven't gotten along-" Zee said.
"-but since we're partners, we're gonna have to try and tolerate each other," Jo replied. "Yeah, I know."
Confessional: Jo
"I'm not in the game any more, which still sucks," Jo explained. "But Chill Pill managed to subvert my expectations. He lasted longer than I thought he would have. And if I have to work with him, then so be it."
Confessional Ends
The camera panned to the right as Scarlett snorted and stood up. "I strongly refuse to partake in this," she said, the shot cutting in close as she brushed the dirt off her shirt then turned around.
She took a step, and walked right into Chef, who snickered and locked a thick metal collar around the quiet brainiac's neck.
"Let me guess. You're going to shock me if I don't play along, right?" Scarlett asked in annoyance as she tugged at the collar.
"You'd think that," Chris said with a mischievous smile, "but this is actually something different. In case you somehow ended up as one of the helpers, I had a special collar made that'll tranquilize you if you don't play along," he finished with a smug look.
Scarlett groaned in annoyance. "Fine."
"Hey, as long as you don't just bail, I'm cool," Chris told him.
"I'm not," Harold interrupted with an angry look.
Confessional: Scarlett
"Unless I want a voltage surprise like the ones I received in episode four," Scarlett told the confessional camera with disgust, idly tugging at the collar around her neck, "I'll help Harold with his goal of winning the one million dollars. That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."
Confessional: Chris
"Am I full of good ideas or what?" Chris chuckled in the outhouse camera.
Confessionals End
"So," Chris said, the static cutting away to show him walking towards the two pairs. "Reunion's over? Good! It's time for your final challenge. I have endearingly titled it, 'The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Death'!" A dramatic spike in the music, reverberated voice, and zoomed-in and angled shot all combined to make the revealing of the title particularly dramatic.
"That sounds dangerous...," Zee said worryingly.
"It's supposed to be dangerous, Dodo Brain," Jo groaned.
Confessional: Zee
"Now I'm wishing I did use my second chance like Harold did," Zee confessed.
Confessional Ends
"Now since Blaineley snuck back onto the island and changed it completely by wreaking havoc in the secret underground control room..." Chris began to explain.
"Umm, hold on," came the voice of Julia, the camera panning back up to the still-loitering helicopter. "What did you just say?" she asked in confusion.
"Wait, you didn't know that?" Duncan asked. "I knew I was forgetting something."
"Host!" Max interrupted, drawing the focus to the other end of the line. "I demand you explain this!"
"No," Chris replied in a deadpan tone. "As I was saying," he continued, putting his bland smile back on as the background music became deep and tense, "we've yet to explore all the wonderful and bizarre new dangers the island's new landscape has to offer. Until now. Harold and Zee," the shot cut back to the two pairs, "with assistance from your helpers-" Zee and Jo shared a frown while Harold and Scarlett shared a glare - "you will race across the island. First one to cross the finish line will receive," Chris turned to the side and grabbed the prized suitcase from Chef, the music building up grandly as he opened it to reveal its glowing contents, "One! Millions! Dol-lars!"
All four teens started cheering.
"All you have to do is survive a 2000-foot plummet from an ice cliff," Chris joyously explained, the camera cutting to the slender peak of a snowy mountain before quick-panning away, "successfully learn to breathe while submerged in mud," the camera panned across a bubbling lake of mud before quick-panning away again, "and then sprint two miles across a wide-open field where," the shot now panned across a seemingly ordinary and empty field, "I'm absolutely sure no harm will come to you."
The shot cut back to the cast as Chris began to laugh raucously for an extended period of time. "The point I'm making," Chris said once he'd finally finished, "is that there's a decent chance you may not survive this."
Both finalists and helpers groaned warily. Then they were each tossed an orange helmet.
"For the first part of the challenge," Chris explained, "the lawyers insisted you wear helmets to protect your brains." The shot cut to him and Chef. "I mean who knows. Someday, you may start using them." The roar of the nearby helicopter suddenly increased, the added wind whipping up a cloud of dust around the men. "When you get to the top of the mountain, it'd be a good idea to build a bobsled," Chris instructed, "or, it'll be a very rough ride down!"
The show's smaller red helicopter was shown flying over, the larger military one flying away with the rest of the former campers still attached. "Grab a rope!" Chris said, the camera panning down the four ropes hanging from the helicopter to show them dangling just above the finalists and helpers. "Your challenge begins...NOW!"
The four grabbed the ropes in front of them, and to a sudden bit of challenge music and a blast of the host's airhorn, the helicopter flew off dragging the startled teens along with it.
"Good luck! Stay safe!" Chris called out after them. "Are things I'd say, if I cared!"
The footage flashed ahead to the top of the snowy peak, several boxes and barrels of various junk – including what looked like several sets of skis – already waiting at the top. The small helicopter arrived momentarily, and the shot cut to its four passengers landing in the show – Jo and Zee on the left, Scarlett and Harold on the right.
"We're supposed to build a bobsled out of this junk?" Jo asked in disbelief.
"No," Zee corrected as he grabbed a pair of skis, "Chris just said it would be a good idea." He tossed the skis onto the ground and stepped on them, a tense challenge tune playing in the background. "I have a different one, so hop on."
The shot cut to a close-up of Jo grinning, then to her jumping onto the skis behind Zee. "Let's do this!" she said as they began to slide forward down the slope and left the scene.
The camera panned onto Scarlett, holding a pair of skis of her own. "We should get moving!"
"What's to stop me from believing that you won't shove me off the skis?" Harold asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.
"I have this wretched collar on. Shoving you is the last thing I want to do. Now get on!" Scarlett told him angrily.
"Fine," Harold said, rolling his eyes and walking over to where Scarlett was already waiting on the skis and got ahead of her. The challenge music rose up again as they leaned forward, and started to slide.
The shot cut to Zee and Jo looking back over their shoulders with grins on their faces. They promptly skied through a tall mogul, slowing them down a little and covering Zee's eyes in snow. "I can't see!" he shouted, clawing at the packed snow as they began to swerve.
"Quick, to the left!" Jo shouted, one hand around Zee's waist and one point ahead of them as they swerved away from the camera around another mound of snow. "Now right!" Jo directed, the two swerving back towards the foreground. "Left!" She shouted, but they just sped through another mogul earning a scream from the jock-ette.
Confessional: Jo
Jo was blue from the cold and shivering heavily.
Confessional Ends
"Well isn't that the best thing that's happened today!" Scarlett taunted as the scene cut back to her and Harold.
"Yeah, well, we're gonna be next if we don't keep dodging these things," Harold pointed out as they began to swerve around the moguls as well. "And I want to try and get ahead of them while we can."
The music ramped up dangerously as the dweeb and brainiac slid towards another mogul. "Left!" Harold shouted.
"No, right!" Scarlett replied, the two leaning to the opposite direction, swerving nowhere, and plowing right through the mound. "Aagh!"
"Scarlett!" Harold growled as they started swerving wildly, snow covering both their eyes. They clipped the side of another mogul, sending themselves into a screaming spin, hit a third mogul, and came out tumbling end over end.
The shot cut to the bottom of the slope, the music leveling off as what looked like a mogul on skis slid down. The camera zoomed in as two patches of snow fell away to reveal Zee and Jo inside, the two moaning and blue in the face. "Zee, we need to move," Jo weakly told her partner, "before-"
A massive snowball suddenly ran them over, breaking the snow but leaving the good vibe guy and jock-ette lying in a puddle of melting snow. A crash was heard off-screen, but the camera lingered in place as Jo groaned and stood up. "Let's go," Jo told her partner. "You're still in this..."
"...yeah," Zee said as he caught his breath. "Yeah!" he said, more energetically this time. "I've got this!" he declared before charging forward, the shot cutting to Jo as she smirked softly then raced after her partner.
The camera followed them along for a few seconds until they reached a heap of snow, skis, and dazed-looking teens, which the shot immediately focused on. "What happened?" Harold shot at his partner, the dweeb lying upside-down half-trapped in the snow. "I told you to go left!"
"And I told you to go right!" Scarlett countered, her head sticking out the right way up but her legs sticking out over it.
"Yes, but I'm the one in charge!" Harold replied. "You're supposed to be helping me!"
"I was steering!" Scarlett said before the snow holding her up crumbled away, causing her to fall over with a startled gasp.
Harold sighed in aggravation before a small pile of melting snow collapsed onto his face.
The scene cut away to show Chris and Chef sitting in lawn chairs eating popcorn as they watched the challenge feed, the host promptly pausing it with a beep and looking at the camera. "This finale's out of control!" he said excitedly as the capstone theme began to play. "Zee and Jo got run over! Harold and Scarlett can't stop arguing! And all of them just plowed through like a ton of snow!"
"Stay tuned, "he continued, the shot moving away but the host quickly popping back up in front of it. "Someone is leaving here a millionaire. It's the finale of Total! Drama! Paaaaaahkitew Island!"
(Commercial Break)

I (22f) had a falling out about 3 months ago with my friend (who I'm going to refer to here as Dylan). We met during our second year of college and formed a really close-knit friend group on campus. Most of us met through one person or another, and we pretty much did everything together. It was also during the first semesters after the covid lockdown. There weren't a lot of people on campus, so we ran into each other a lot, being the only few people around. We had a bunch of game nights, movie nights, etc. Sometimes we'd even hang out at the tops of parking garages for picnics.
Dylan and I started to get closer, since we have a lot of the same interests, like Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. We also just found it really easy to open up and talk to each other. I told them a lot about my personal life, including some traumatic experiences I had growing up. They shared some of their hardships with me too. We had very different things happen to us in our lives. Even so, I felt like we developed a strong bond and an ability to tell each other anything and everything. I don't know if this might sound weird or corny, but I think of the first half of our friendship as being a lot like the song "Loser Baby" from Hazbin; We each have some bullshit that we carry, but being able to have that general issue in common (who could emphasize with having a lot weighing on you mentally) made me feel less alone. I had someone to lean on for support to keep moving forward.
Dylan wasn't the only person I had a strong, emotional connection with though. Around the same time that our friend group started, I met my boyfriend (24m). He and I are still together, and I feel incredibly lucky to have him. Over the last three and a half years, we've developed an open line of communication and developed a signifcant amount of trust in each other. Even as a long distance couple to start, we always made time for each other to meet up on weekends or call throughout the week. And we still do. And even during bumps im the road, we're very upfront about our feelings, we take fault when we fuck up, and we talk through what we can do to resolve the problem. And we BOTH follow through on what we discussed.
About a year and a half into my friendship with Dylan (which again, was also a year and a half into my relationship), they admitted to having feelings for me. At the time, Dylan said they wanted to come clean about it in hopes that putting it out in the open would help them move on, so to speak. This probably should've been my first red flag, but I repressed the feeling. I didn't want to think that my best friend was trying to break up my relationship. I convinced myself that they genuinely just wanted to get it off their chest because it was killing them to keep such a secret from me.
From that night on, our friendship was very rocky. We tried giving each other space, but being in the same friend group made it difficult. We also didn't want to tell anyone besides a few people. I was especially worried that airing it to everyone could create an even bigger mess. This meant that there were times when one or both of us avoided our other friends altogether out of respect for each other. Which only made us feel more alone, resulting in us hanging out even more to make up for how we felt. I was also very open about the situation with my boyfriend. He was very understanding, more so than most people would probably expect. He knew that we were very close before their feelings were known to me. And he trusted me that I knew what I was doing when trying to maintain the friendship.
As the situation went on though, Dylan's feelings didn't fade. In fact, they seemed to worsen. Our friend group is generally very touchy-feely. By that, I mean we frequently say "I love you" and hug. Some of my friends have even kissed each other on the cheeks or foreheads while we were tipsy/drunk. Sometimes, we would also say "I love you" to one another with platonic feelings behind it. At least, that's how I viewed it for a while. There were some nights, when Dylan would be really upset while talking to me about how hard it was to move on, how guilty they felt because they couldn't help but hold onto hope that I might one day mean "I love you" in a romantic way towards them. They even admitted to holding some anger and resentment towards my boyfriend. All of this, looking back, should have been signs to leave the friendship. I know that now. But for some ungodly reason, I was so convinced at the time that there was still something like a friendship to glean from this. They conveyed guilt and remorse for their feelings, so surely that meant things would get better?
I thought that when I graduated and moved back home, things would get easier. After all, we wouldn't be able to see each other all the time if I had a job and lived a good hour or two from where we went to college..Right? We'd be able to focus more on ourselves. And we could still keep in touch via phone calls or texting if we really missed each other! This is when I started to really notice all that was wrong in our friendship. Our venting in regards to mental anguish and stress became more self-loathing. Admittedly, on both sides. We started talking more to each other about our issues in a venting-while-deep-in-our-emotions sort of way with no balance between that and trying to suggest solutions. Sometimes, I'd try because there were certain things Dylan would tell me about that I knew were beyond the help I could give as a friend. But when I even remotely suggested things like therapy, for instance, they would get very defensive. They said that they tried it years ago and had a bad experience. At the same time, they would also acknowledge that professional help could, hypothetically, be beneficial to them..?
I don't remember exactly when it started, but there were a couple of times while texting where Dylan would just lash out at me. They'd question me for staying friends with them. They more or less told me I was stupid because I was putting myself through so much by being their friend. At one point, I lashed out in retaliation for texting me about their woes only to get mad when I tried to help. We had a conversation in person about one argument in partculiar. We both apologized and agreed to work on our communication with each other.
Some time passed after this. I realized at one point that I hadn't heard from them in a few weeks, which was strange because we had a habit of checking in on each other at least once of week or once every other week. I tried messaging Dylan a few times, but I didn't want to overwhelm them. I figured some time further apart might be for the best. As more time passed, I started to get more worried and decided to call them a couple times. Finally, they responded via text (this isn't everything they said. I cut some of it because it involved personal info):
"It’s not fair to keep you in the dark and it’s much too rude to keep doing this to you. I wish I could excuse it with the really shitty weeks I’ve been having so far, with most of my days being depressed, anxious or worse, and the good days being few and far between. It’s been the case but it’s no excuse for how I’ve treated you in this. Long story short, I’m ignoring you because I don’t want you to care about me anymore. I’ve been a lot more solitary recently and I’ve kept to myself a lot - I’ve realized that I let people in only to refuse to let them help me. But especially with you, because our situation is still complicated to me. I still feel like shit about you - how much I love you, and how much I hate you. I don’t care what your feelings are to me - it’s difficult for me to play around you. Whenever we talk, hang out, or fucking whenever I think about you, I get a twang of happiness and self-hatred. Every little thing I say becomes a mine I throw out in front of me and step on immediately, hoping it doesn’t blow up.... and I know you say what you feel towards me, but god fucking damnit you make it impossible to believe you sometimes - because it hurts to think about. You do, it all does. My constant overanalyzing of other people is one of the main things to send me spiraling. I’ve legitimately thought about cutting off from EVERYONE: so I can always stay stable without having to worry about plans that come out of nowhere; I don’t need to worry about what I say to people I care about; and I don’t have to hurt people I care about. Apathy, while it is a wretched thing, is the place where I’m at my best - playing sports, video games, or otherwise…it’s disgusting but it’s the way it is. I’ve never cared about a thing in my life and I don’t want to completely fuck you over when I eventually stop caring about you.
As I’m typing this, I know I’m dropping a lot of shit on you. There’s no quick answer to this but I wanted all my thoughts down in a way where I can spit it all out without getting sidetracked or interrupted. Idgaf if you read this all or not.... I wish I could say I’m sorry.
I know I may have said before that our friendship will last, no matter the circumstances…but I am, and always have been, the problem. That’s not coming out of a place of self-deprecation, that’s the cold, unfortunate truth.
And...I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I've lost a lot of hope and I know I can't look to you for help anymore - because it brings me more misery than joy."
I had to read it a few times before responding. I didn't try to argue for the sake of our friendship. As much as I wanted it to continue, I knew it wouldn't be okay to force them when they were expressing a desire to separate. But in the same conversation, after writing this out to them, Dylan started to back-pedal. They suggested that maybe we should meet in person to discuss it more. Because there's "more that I didn't know about them". I immediately got suspicious and basically told them to fuck off; If they were done, they should just say it.
I was kinda angry at the whole falling-out for a while. Particularly how wishy-washy they seemed at the end after everything we'd gone through. I didn't know how to feel and I still don't now that I've started to miss Dylan. Or maybe the friendship we had before everything went to shit..? I also can't help but feel like I should tell the rest of my friends about it. But I don't know what they would do. Is it worth saying? Would it be too risky for the sake of our whole friend group? It's eating away at me. I feel as though I'm walking on eggshells every time I make plans with the friend group, because what if Dylan is there? What would they say to me, if anything? Is there anything left to say?

So my boyfriend & I had a wonderful night last night & today he planned on going to a friends house for dinner that he had not seen in awhile, no biggie. So today I went about my day and asked my bestie if she wanted to go to Lowe’s and to dinner. On our way out of Lowe’s I notice this red Tesla driving past and it’s my boyfriend and his partner. Gut punch feeling. I was visibly upset by it which upset my bestie. The first thing I thought was that he had lied to me. So I messaged him and told him I had just seen them both and said no friend dinner? He texted back after about 30 minutes with a “😯 where we leaving? I woke up with a really bad headache and haven’t been able to shake it so we didn’t go.”
We are all really new to poly and I had asked the group before about jealousy and received some excellent advice. I even started listening to the polyamory tool kit book.
Where we live is A small area and I feel like he should have told me his partner was going to be in town. It felt really bad to see them like that and like I had been lied to. His partner does not live and the same state and I really feel he should have told me that he was coming to visit… I haven’t spoke with him about it yet. I responded to the last text he sent and I said.. I didn’t realize so & so was part of your plans today and it really caught me off guard. He has not responded to that. …. Am I being extra?

(Spanish is my first language, excuse my grammar) I am a 31 year old woman, I grew up in the hood in the Dominican Republic, by age 9 I was taking care of my younger siblings (one with special needs) while my mom went to college and my dad was working, I was always wearing ugly clothes and being bullied because of it. My mom was very emotionally abusive towards me and made me feel like a burden, saying that I had to be grateful she was paying for food and rent and as the oldest daughter it was my responsibility to take care of my siblings,my dad was alcoholic and financially abusive.
During my adolescence I was surrounded by bad friends who emotionally abused me as well, of course I was trained from home to accept mistreatment and being a people pleaser, my mom being a narcissist, raised her golden child son to be just kike her, he was receiving special treatment always, and he also became emotionally and financially abusive and made my early twenties a living hell demanding money and using my things etc, in spite of everything I went to college and graduated law school, got a job and started to stand up for myself. Then the dynamic change and they started to give “fair” treatment but as I matured I realized it was out of convenience because I was helping out everyone financially. Paying bills etc, my brother never paid a bill and was working doing illegal activities, had a son that my mom was supporting financially while he was living his best life, My mom used to be Jealous if I bought something for myself, she had a fit when I bought my first car and was making fun of me because I wasn’t driving the car because of driving anxiety.but when my brother illegally brought his first car she gave him her blessings etc.
I always knew I needed to get out of that environment, when I was 24 I met my boyfriend, now husband who asked me to marry him and come to the states to start a new life. I accepted, got married and moved to New York with him , but the abuse I started to experience with my in-laws was 5 times worse.
I married my husband blindly, ignoring the red flags. He was just like a my dad, passive, with no leadership skills or masculinity to stand up for myself or our children, I now know I was attracted to my husband because he felt like home, but it turns out home is not always safe, I ignored the red flags because it felt familiar. My mil was a covert narcissist who tried to destroy our relationship, emotionally and psychologically abused me during my postpartum, yelling at me, calling me names, and putting the whole family against me with lies, She will buy gifts for all the children in the family during events but my kids, throw away the food I cooked and smeared my name to anyone who would listen, I never lived with her, she was the one going to my house to cause trouble, last thing she did was plant condoms on my husband luggage, luckily he was the one who found her doing that and opened his eyes to who she really was, I managed to scape and start over at 30 in Florida, that’s when I finally started to heal, went not contact with 85% of people I knew. My husband came with me to Florida as well and it’s working on himself and traumas.
For some of us life start at 30, I never choose to be born and raised in that environment, I feel empowered knowing I have a choice now, now I trust myself, I am healing all those negative traits I had to embrace to survive, I am raising emotionally mature children in a safe environment and yes, it has been very hard but I am proud of myself and how far I have come, all for the grace of my father God .
Though your mother and father forsake you I will never leave you. psalm 27:10

Please Help Us
Me and my sister don't know what to do about our mom .
Backstory: My mom and dad have been married for 50 years. I'm 25 my sister is 35 we all live under the same roof. During pandemic COVID my mom lost her Mom (aka my grandma). She lost her brother due to liver failure. , lost our grand aunt and also our grand uncle all in the span of 2020-2021. ... Everything was ok my mom was grieving and seemed more torn over the loss of her brother. My mom's a social worker and has a high stress job .
Now 2024. She had reconnected with an old friend after finding out she had breast cancer , (let's call her Lena) who is from back in our country of origin . That old friend used to have a similar family like us. Lena was married , and had 2 sons and 1 daughter who grew up with me and my sister, Lena's Husband at the time worked with my dad at university.Lena divorced her husband after finding out he was dating his student. Lena for single for a while after divorce , and now she has a boyfriend and she is living her life so happily and tells my mom all the details. Especially being happy and a new chapter. Lenas husband was a horrible man and was mean , and horrible to his kids at times. He was a player.
My family moved to this country I'm 2010 .my parents left their friends and family behind for us to be here. My parents are lonely here tbh , they don't have a social circle here , just like a handful of people but not a circle at all. They are bored, work , home , gym, groceries. That's life been for them lately
My dad majority of my childhood for decades was an alcoholic. At home He used to drink everyday and gets drunk on weekends. To the point where in 2023 my mom told my dad if he doesn't stop she and Us (children) are going to leave him because we tried everything for him to stop. My dad has been sober for the last 10 months. He's a bit depressed and is quieter but he's doing much better imo since he quit . Apart from the drinking he is the best dad I could ask for . I'm happy he has stopped.i hope he gets out of his funk.
A few weeks ago of April 2024. my mom got tragic news that her sister who has been sick for a while died of a heart attack at home. It was very hard for my parents to hear this news. The following weekend she started telling my sister strange things, while I was away. She said she's not surprised our ex aunt cheated on her brother , she said shes burnt out from her job , she said she wants to go away for a short while to have time to herself. Saying she wants to go hotel and stay in separate rooms from my sister ( my sis was like ???) she told her that she feels stuck .Whatever it is. She's lonely. She wants to go out. She wants to 'meet new people'. It's all just nuts. Like I get it. Fine u can. But like you're hanging at the gym for hours everyday. Talking to our friends and seeking out for attention. She said alot of stuff to my sister while I was away and she panicked
Me and my sister pulled her aside a week ago and said what the hell are you doing. You dumped all this info on my sister , You're being inappropriate with our friends saying stuff like ( people's preferences for older even if they're younger doesn't matter even if they approach you) she mentioned this to one of my friends....So we confronted her and she said . Look me and your father haven't been happy for a while since the last 8 years. She said her and my dad talked about it in 2020 and wait and see....So we said okay that's fine but are you doing stuff behind him because that's not ok. She said before it even gets there she will definitely talk about it with my dad. So then we're like.....ok if you say you're okay we will not mind . We told her if she needs to go on a vacation or time off ( cuz my parents never go anywhere ) all they do is just see family ones in a while overseas. Never an actual vacatjon. So we said , hey u should try doing things together with dad. Go places, do things. She's like he never wants to . We said it's not easy since he stopped drinking so try at least with him before anything else..... We told her to talk to a therapist , she said she's talking to one of her coworkers who is one. We had our sisters birthday and she came to the club with me and our friends (first time she evercame to the club with us) it was odd but like she had fun?.
My mom also said (hey I don't wanna end up like my sister because she was in a bad marriage and loved somebody else ) and Lena was happy and had a boyfriend. Me and my sister said , dad isn't even that bad compared to these others she tried to use his drinking as an excuse. But we're like he STOPPED.
In 2023 While they went to Europe to see my cousin my mom was telling some guy hit on her while she was waiting for bus. And he asked my mom to go out for coffee. And she said yes sure but it was raining. And then he was talking to my mom . And my dad answered a question he asked. And the guy said "I'm talking to the lady" or something. And my mom just let it happen. And my dad didn't say anything. I'm like okkk????
She's been painting her nails. Doing her hair , spending hours at the gym just talking to people , my friends etc. it's just so weird. Until the point now my dad doesn't go anymore cuz she spends time there so much and just talks to others. She latches on to some of my new friends. .
Today she went to the gym at 1 o clock. It's literally 6 o clock she's not even back. What the hell do me and my sister do. It's causing me and my sister so much anxiety
It's definitely grief + mid life crisis + boring Rut marriage
What do we do .

My best friend and I have known each other since freshman year of college, so like 5 years now. We are super tight, she’s the funniest person I know and we’re like ride-or-dies.
Her and her boyfriend have been dating for 1.5 years now (I think), and I’ve met him more than a few times. He’s cool! But I am not into him like that.
I was in a LTR for 2 years but recently broke up, so I’m single again. I went out with my best friend (i.e. Jessie), her boyfriend (i.e Sean), and a couple other of our mutual friends (both girls). I was visiting them in Chicago for the weekend by the way, but I don’t live there.
Throughout the entire night, Sean would single me out to ask me things, or try to dance with me. For example, he would say “Hey, Salmonpaddy, what’s the tattoo on your back mean?” or “I like your outfit, Salmonpaddy” (which was a tight cropped tube top and baggy jeans lol).
Eventually he pulled me to dance with him, in front of my best friend, and I just danced super rigidly. Or he would grab my hand. And he knows I play some video games, so every time I see him he asks me to play video games with him, to set up a date/time to play together, the two of us.
He made me pinky promise that we would play Fortnite together this Wednesday at a specific time, he said he’ll buy me skins. I’m like. Bro😐. And he only talks about this stuff when she’s not around! So I asked if it’s possible to play with three people, since we should play with Jessie too, and he seemed awkward after that and switched topics.
Jessie went to the bathroom with a friend of mine, and I was with my drunk friend making sure she was good, and Sean. Sean starts talking to me again, and asks me in a teasing way, “So when are you gonna move to Chicago?” I replied that I have no plans to move to Chicago, and said I am actually going to move to NYC soon. He seemed shocked and asked how soon, I said a couple weeks, and he said “No, Salmonpaddy you just broke my heart! Don’t go that far! I’m barely gonna see you!” I said we don’t even see each other that often right now (like once every few months) and that I’ll see him and Jessie the same amount still! He was unsatisfied with that, and buckled down on trying to find ways to spend time with me. He said we should play games together, start a podcast, make a song together (I make music). Half of this stuff he repeated throughout the night, directly in front of Jessie, and it started to piss me off because he should be pouring that energy into her, not me, and I just felt bad that she just had to watch him constantly try to make plans with me or dance with me.
One more thing that made me skeptical is how he tried to disrupt men talking to me. I had quite a few men come up to me, and I spoke with one of them for a slightly longer time. Harmless conversation, the guy was cute though and I gave him a small peck on the cheek as I rejected his advance to dance with me. Yeah, mixed signals, but I’m dealing with my own stuff at the moment. Lol.
Anyways, Sean suddenly taps me and waves me to come talk to him, in like an urgent way. I asked him what was up, I thought maybe we were leaving, and instead he says “Are you into that guy??” and I said uhhh, I mean yeah I was talking to him but nothing serious. He apologized and said I could go back and talk to him, and I just laughed uncomfortably and went to go dance with Jessie instead.
Point is, Jessie is head over heels in love with Sean, yet I really don’t feel like he is being loyal to her in this way. I think he’s a cool person, but she’s my best friend before anything else and his behaviour as her boyfriend is giving me the ick.
How do I approach this situation?
TL;DR: I think my BFF’s boyfriend is into me and I don’t know how/if I should address it. She loves him so much but I feel like he is not as loyal as he should be, and I feel like he is lowkey hitting on me.

I think my friend's hate me and I don't know what I should do with myself at this point
Tw: Eating Disorders / Self-Harm / Suicide
My mental health has been up and down for a long time now, hitting an all time low in December 2021, being at an honest high in February this year and now back quite low
I have an issue that has made me struggle for a while, I look into things too much, in September I made a new group of friends (all of which were female, I'm NB but AMAB) and they were nice to me, one showed me a lot of attention and we went to the cinema together, I thought it was a date, she didn't, now she hates me, and the group basically shuts me out completely
Then I made another group of friends, eventually I started dating one of them, she broke up with me, I was heartbroken, suicidal, then she wanted to get back together, we were together for a week, had sex, broke it off, this time I was kinda glad though as it was going nowhere
Then she started gossiping about me to our friend group, so I stopped hanging out in the group (despite being friends with a good number of them) and now I don't really have anyone to hang out with
I have like 5 friends and honestly I don't know which of Then actually like me
They all call me fat constantly, despite me now being a healthy weight and I think this has call slowly gotten me to gain an eating disorder as I am religious about counting calories and fasting, as soon as I overeat I feel like shit. Tbf I did used to be fat, and I encouraged it, it gave me motivation to lose it, then I did, but old habits die hard, so they still do. I don't have a spine so while I have told then to stop, I don't actually do anything about it
One of the friends I do actually think somewhat likes me, despite constantly calling me fat, he is nice to me, we've been friends for 4 years and he is just nice
Another was my best friend, she was dating one of my other former-friends, after they split I chose her over my other friend (that friend was a dick) but now she is in a really good relationship that makes her happy and I'm glad for her, her boyfriend is also really nice, but I know for a fact he doesn't like me and I think he doesn't want her hanging out with me
Other friends range from being in the friend group with my ex, all of them gossiping behind my back, to friends who everyone questions why I am friends with them as they are constantly diminishing to me
At this point I am not happy, I am barely focusing on my school work, or my health despite being overly-cautious with my health
I want to cut myself again, I don't know why, it just makes me feel something other than sadness but I'm going on holiday in a week so it will leave a mark which I can't have, my mom will be overly-sympathetic and my dad will be mad. I'm ugly (I don't want any commitments saying you're beautiful) I spent 2 years growing my hair long to feel more fem and it constantly looks messy despite what i do with it, everyone tells me i should cut it but that wont solve anything, plus basically all my friende around me have been growing their hair out and they all look better
I'm not happy with anything but the ups and downs I go through make it unpredictable how I'll feel tomorrow, all I know is that I don't know where to be in this world

Obligatory English is not my first language and writing this on Mobile notice. Warning reproductive system is involved in not so flattering ways. Don't read if rancid things make you feel nausea. Also don't read if you get mad easily, unless you're into that then you do you bubu.
Medical terms and definitions some people might not know:
Ovarian cyst- when an ovum decides it doesn't want to go down the fallopian tube and be a total jerk by hanging out in your ovary and suck up nutrients to grow indefinitely or until it pops creating the same pain as if a cyst popped inside testicles.
PCOS- condition that makes you have said ovarian cysts but for some reasons multiplied times too many. One ovary can easily have 8 cysts so imagine when both ovaries have it.
Dermoid Cyst- same as ovarian cyst but the composition is actually made of hair, teeth, bones, skin, etc. it's really gross to look at.
Struma Ovarii- an extremely rare type of dermoid cyst who's composition is mainly thyroid tissue. It makes up only .5% of dermoid cysts.
Ovarian torsion- when your ovary twists on itself or with the fallopian tube, often times cutting off blood supply if not caught on time.
Sepsis- when a part of your body starts to decay and releases chemicals into your body causing life threatening shock that need immediate medical treatment. Most can recover from it but takes a long time to recover, sometimes years.
Cystectomy- surgery that removes cyst(s)
Ooftarectomy- surgery that removes ovary
Bilateral- both sides
Hey everyone from the Two Hot Takes team, hope you're all doing well and have your seatbelts buckled in as this is one heck of a medical story doozy.
Back story: I had always suffered PCOS. The irregular yet heavy periods, the extra hair, and the multiple cysts. The problem was that I was a teen and apparently PCOS is not a big deal if it's on a teenager. It's also not a big deal if it's on a young adult that doubles over in pain from periods and wears overnight pads that need to be changed every 4 hours because thats not heavy enough to be of concern. Sometimes even doubling over on times when there is no period because those are just the cysts popping. I always did my pap smears and always went to the gyno, fully trusting them that what I had was not note worthy. So whenever I moved and got a new gyno, while it was mentioned nothing was done about it and I had assumed that was the norm.
It all started in October of 2023 when I felt a sharp pain in my right lower hip while I was at work. At that time I worked for a hospital as a host and only been working for a few months so thank goodness that I had access to the ER. Unfortunately for me my work place is a small hospital so there aren't any gyno nor obs. So the ER doctor just ordered an ultrasound and a trans-vaginal ultrasound (where they stick a dildo shaped ultrasound tool inside of you), and a CT scan without contrast due to iodine allergy. They initially said that due to the pain level I must be having appendicitis. However they instead found a 9cm (for reference a grapefruit is 10cm) cyst on the left ovary and a 4cm (walnut sized) cyst on the right. They said that while they are big and need to be removed, that a specialist needs to write the recommendation to do the surgery and that since our hospital didn't have any that I'll have to get an appointment with a gyno outside of the hospital. He prescribed me 500mg of ibuprofen and told me that I'm discharged. This was the first bs hospital policy of many that I will encounter in this roller coaster.
After getting an appointment with a gyno, I had another incident at work with the same crippling pain. I had the same double vision, nausea and fainting as the first time but this time I had fainted near a patient I was tending to. I didn't get into trouble for that as it was a medical condition that was previously recorded and I had been fine prior on that day. Just my ovaries decided to be jerks on that poor patient to which I apologized heavily to later. Instead my boss wanted answers as to why I was starting to become absent so frequently. I told her about what they found in the ER and how long it takes to get a specialist to see and how my ovaries just want to remind me that going up and down three flights of stairs daily to get to my apartment is making them more irritated.
Appointment time comes and instead of taking the findings for what they are, the gyno then decides to order the same exact tests but within his facility because that's apparently some kind of bs hospital policy that they have to do before giving the ok for a surgery.
I wait for the tests and had more time called off from work. Day of the tests and the ultrasound lady says "you have at least 8 cysts on your right with the biggest one being 7cm (peach sized) and on your left you have a massive one that is 10cm big". I told her "oh so it grew? Is it cancer then?" She calmed me down saying that ovarian cysts do grow as you get more ovulation cycles and that it doesn't mean that it's cancer. However that I most likely have PCOS and that the giant cyst is probably hiding the other cysts if not just merging with the other cysts ony left side. I told her I knew about the PCOS and that her explanation made sense as the dates between the scans had several months in-between since the specialist couldn't see me the day of the incident. (nor even the week of apparently because that's how it goes over here in the USA when it comes to specialists.) She then was surprised and said "I didn't see any PCOS medications on your chart". I told her I had no idea that there was such a thing. She told me not to worry that my new gyno will prescribe me meds.
After the tests, my gyno finally schedules a pre-op appointment, day of surgery and post-op appointment.The surgery would be performed on a second hospital where I don't work in. I arrive at pre-op, doctor tells me the exact same thing that my ultrasound lady said but he mentioned that there's a slight possibility for an ooftarectomy but that we're definitely doing a bilateral cystectomy. He prescribed me Metformin which is for preventing new cysts from forming. I was so happy thinking that I might be able to live a life free from these cursed cysts after the sury. Oh how things were going to turn out.
Turns out the day of the surgery Match 1st was my "6th month anniversary" (it's not I've been working since August of 2023) of working in the hospital. That meant that a new insurance policy was placed and the old one was replaced. I showed up on the day of the surgery and they told me that they couldn't do it because the new insurance wouldn't cover it due to no prior authorization. I had thought that the new insurance wouldn't kick in until my 1 year anniversary or until it was time for enrollment. I cried. I cried right there on the lobby in front of everyone. In front of my family, my boyfriend and coworkers that had woken up at 5 am to be there for moral support on their day off. There's so many hoops just to get treated. My boyfriend said that if a grapefruit sized cyst was on a testicle they would had treated it as an emergency but because it's on an ovary that it isn't.
I had collected myself and immediately scheduled for a new gyno appointment. Unfortunately the appointment was again several months. It was for August 28th. Luckily my cysts decided that was too far off. So I had another incident at work once again. I was rushed to another hospital instead of being discharged thankfully. However that said hospital then sent me away to another hospital because they weren't a "women's hospital" and that women's hospital said that they couldn't do anything without my gynos permission. That the best that they can do is call my gyno and claim that my appointment with her should be expedited but that my situation isn't an emergency. We told them to do what they need to do. At this point not even morphine helped with the pain.
Thankfully my gyno reached out to me stating that she was available to see me that week instead. I was able to see her and she saw that the women's hospital did some tests and the cysts were now 11cm left and 8cm right respectively. She said however that she can't use the tests from the women's hospital, that she had to schedule for the same tests to be done in her facility. I started to cry, again. It was the same dumb policy. I understand that some time had passed but it was only a few days in-between and having these tests won't show anything new other than possibly new growth. She promised that the tests will be scheduled under expedited and that it will be on April 28th. This was on March 26. At least she increased the dosage of the ibuprofen to 800mg so it would take the edge off a bit more.
On March 30 my boyfriend wanted to cheer me up by taking me to see his brother Orlando FL since he was getting married soon. We were supposed to stay there for a few days for the preparations. I had a small ache at the time so thought I just needed to take my ibuprofen and be on my way. My boyfriend noticed I was in pain and asked if I was ok, the pain was small so I said yes. His mother said "maybe we should leave her in the apartment so she can rest" to which my boyfriend said "I don't like that idea, if she can't come I'm not going". I was relieved because I didn't want to be alone if an incident were to happen again. My parents were running out of days to take off to be there in the hospitals (4 different hospitals at this point). The car ride made me sleepy as car sounds remind me of ASMR. It was a long ride but when I woke up we were already in Orlando. The pain had significantly increased. I thought if only I could just take another ibuprofen when we get to my future brother in law's place that I would be good. I.WAS.NOT.
As soon as we arrived nausea took over and I puked from the pain. The abdominal motion made the pain so much worse that I just started to scream in pain. It was so much pain I couldn't think or speak. My boyfriend knew it was the cysts and told everyone that he's going to take me to the ER. There wasn't a second I wasn't screaming in pain with tears running down my face. The hospital he tooke to said that they weren't the women's hospital however they do have a sister hospital that they will take me to called Winnie Palmer's Women's Hospital (I will forever name drop this hospital for what they did to me).
They immediately gave me medications that took the pain away, I was able to have a conversation with the doctors of what has been going on and the long history. They debated amongst themselves on whether or not to do the surgery but they in the mean time did tests while they kept calling my gyno for permission to do the surgery. The specialists in the hospital said that I don't have just regular cysts, I had a dermoid cyst and that my blood tests shows elevated levels of cancer antibodies. So they decided to go against policy and keep me hospitalized until they get permission from my gyno to get the surgery. My gyno finally reached out to them on Monday April 1st and they had me for surgery at 1pm. They found an ovarian torsion on my right size which explains why my right size hurt more than my left at times. Unfortunately the ovary was necrosed same as the fallopian tube, they theorized reason why tests showed "healthy blood flow to the ovary". The first theory was that the ovarian turn kept being undone and turned again. Which if that was the case I would have been dead before any professional would have seen me on April 28th. The second theory was that the type of dermoid I had was a Struma Ovarii which basically acted like a second thyroid glad in my right ovary. So when they saw it on the tests they thought it was my ovary when in reality it was my second thyroid getting blood supply. On the second theory I would have still died because the necrosed ovary would have eventually expanded and exploded. Spreading putrid flesh into my body's cavity on top of bleeding profusely as that would undo the knot, quickly ending my life if medical attention wasn't given immediately. They removed the large cyst on my left ovary alongside another Struma Ovarii. Turns out I hit the lottery of thyroids. They suspect that the antibodies is due to genetics since my family history is riddled with cancer survivors.
I got discharged after the surgery and when it was my April 28th testing appointment it turned into my post-op appointment lol. My gyno saw my stitches and gave me clean bill of health. However the gyno from the other hospital called and wanted to see me. So we traveled all the way to Orlando again. She wanted to see for herself how I was doing and she was concerned that since it was two Struma Ovarii that my body might have been relying on those two thyroids in addition to my OG thyroid to function. So she's worried that I might be having lower levels now. So she ordered to do thyroid test and genetic tests to see if the cancer antibodies theory can be proven.
So now I'm waiting for when I move to NC since my old job could no longer tolerate the absences and my apartment rent got higher while also not having a grace period for me to gather money to break lease. My boyfriend decided that he would quit his CNA job so that he could pull out his 401(k) and help me break off the lease and move in to his apartment in NC while I recover from surgery. I'm so glad he refused to leave me alone and he wasn't afraid to speak for me to doctors to do the surgery while I was drugged up. He's currently applying for CNA positions so that he can get health insurance ASAP and add me to the policy as soon as we get married. In mean time we also wait for thyroid test and genetic tests. Will update after all the testing.