My LIfe Is Worth More Than 36 Apples I was am a sole from this point on. The moths of darkness just began a fetus in the woumb. Both mother and father have litle knolige of my existance my begening is heare hethy with nknone emosion untill I was sliced from my mother. My parents fell in love with me from the begening little did they know that tere was somthing wrong. It was not there falt I think that I loved them at that point to. I was dieing. My heart broken by imprefection that only flesh offers to the potentialy imortal relm of God placed soil named Earth. Spoler alert I servive otherwise you would not be reading this. One day out of my life I fely horible sick beyond what the doctors had already fixed I was dieing still alive but dieing why they “forgot” ( neglected) to tell my parents that I have a paralised vocla chord is beond even my ant’s comprehencion and she is a sergical nerce. What made them fear my parents? What made them fear so much that they could not tell my perents what hppened? I ask these questions so often that I wonder why I servived. That is when one day out of my life I felt amasing like God was truly there to witness me changing to somthing worth more than any dimond in the world. My parents kept me alive by questining the doctors did so little. My grandmother prayed so much I wonder how I survived. One day of my life I felt horible Thank the lord that I was not dieing my great gradfather was putt to sleap in his grave I now have a feading tube one year old no birthday cake for me. I gess that there is where my life chages yet again. I wonder how I survived. One day out of my life I felt Exuberant I am two years old ,Birthday cake ;-) Yay, my first ever the tube is gone. My parrents still wotty but they realy don’t have to any more until laiter. Gram is there. So is most of my family. I love my gram so much at this point I would taher be at her houce than at home there is so much I still have to live for. One day out of my life I feal loved I am at home having fun with my gram telling her stories that I make up as I go along. She loves me I know it in my heart. There are not enugh words, colors, and sounds to describe what I felt in this world at that moment for my little mind to wrap its gentle fingers around I am less than five years old so the only resion that I remember is a home movie. It is a wonder that I survived. One day out of my life it is near cristmass I could be five but I am not certan I thaught tis memory a dream until my mother told me the story. I was sick enugh that my parents thaught that I was dieing. I had an ear infection, pnumonya, and somthing elce my mother can not remenber. I wonder why I survived. One day out of my life I am still five and going to kindergaden I love to run around and hide out undeneath the slides if only I knew what the world was than I probabley whould not have kissed a boy on the lips so soon. I shold have knone that such an act as this was for the day of prom or highscool. I was definatly not ready for being in love, nor was I ready to kiss boys impishly under the that particular Emitsberg Elimentery slide. The boy’s confusion was so great that I belive he ither liked me or he did not know who I was to tell the teacher what had happened. Ither way I grew up way to quikly and at the same time to slowly for my mothers liking. I would barly clean my room thak the lord for her patince at this poit in my life, other wise I woder how I did survive. One day out of my life I was in first grade imaging what life would be like on the moon. I was listening to the teacher but I could not for the life of me was i being sent to lern how to read and wright when I already knew how to do both of those things. What where they thinking I neaded more help with math than with reading and spelling I could study those wordes and sentance structures. Why did they chose to give me exta practice in my faverite subject the only problem I had was telling lowecace B’s from lowercace D’s until a nice teacher taught me a trick invalving the word bed. Putt your fingers on your left hand so that it resembles a lowecace B than have your fongers on your right hand resemble a lowercace D place coth hannds together and make a bed B.E.D. that was somthing that realy helped it was so ingraind in my nogin that after just that one clarifacaition I had the difrence betwean D and D down pat. I read Juny B. Jones boks up the wasoo after that and most of my class was reading picture books that where to easy so I stoped reading them. I didn’t check out books from the scool library because I had books at home to read if I remember corectly. My parents sau that it was the comprehensin part I gess that I understood the book’s meaning but not the questin of “ How did the caractar change throughout the story?” silly me I putt ( this is acording to my mother) “The carictar did nit change throuout the story. There is no mension of her getting dresset,” I wonder how I survived. One day out of my life i am repeating first grade. I thaught that there where only two years of school I thaught that if i passed this year that i would not have to go to school any more nobosy told me otherwise because i kept the thaught to myself because i was so sure that I was corect that I did not tell a sole nor, angel, not even God, but I gess he knew that anyway even without me telling him. I gess that if God dose laph that he might have been lafing at me and I would laph with him once I came to realise my childish ignerance at the age of seven and a half. I realy do not know why I relised that particalar fanticy was falce but I gess that visiters from the fith grade shook that idea right past my young lips and took me from that faticy I was somhow living in at the time. As I wright this I am sitiosly remided of that anoying yet cachy toon of the Caillou theme song whn it said “ Growing up is not so tuff…” I would like to add to that paticular snippit by saying that being or fealing grown up is the hard part. Thank the lord I was still just growing up at this point otherwise I have no clue of how i would have survived. One day out of my life I learn that Gram is moving to West Bend I was so confused because I remember saying to her that “ we will live togther forever.” than she aked me with such a look upon her face that surly I had no anser to this “what if I move?” my anser to this of corce was “we will move to” I loved my grandmother so much at that point that I thaught that my parents not looking for a new houce was a betrayel of what was going on until... One day out of my life I find out that we are moving at first I thaught that this would remidy the we will live togerhher forever situaiton, but it just only remidied the if you move we move situaiton. This was just after I found out that we where moving from Airshire to Ankeny instad of to West Bend this is in ither late may or early june we are looking for a place to live we looked at some two story houces but we came upon this nice single story ranch it is a nice place to be but I wish that I did not tell the reliter that I “ felt at home here” honestly there where less pressing matters of where we would be going to school and how long it would take to move all of our stuff to the new place that I would have to call home but I never realy did in my heart Gram’s houce was my true home from that point on. It is a wonder that we suvived. One day out of my life it is june 16th my birthday I have just terned egiht years old and this is just the begening of when I have started to really pray and recognise what prayer is to me I don’t realy expect God to answer me at this point in my life becase I reay did not know that God could truly anser quite directly or even ask of you things. I just thaught that God knows everything so he realy should no have to ask but I gess that even God has set rules for himself in promisess and fofilment of priofficy. The idea is that we have free will and he wants to ask and not tell us to be with him in spirit and in mannor. Our actions not telling us yes or no but how we feal about those actins threw God tells us these things. Concince and temptaition those little caton figures angel and demon with that tridant ( not the chewing gum brand) and tail. Oh how I have survived. One day out of my life the start of second grade a new school and a new life I wish that there where more interesting things to take apart than a phone with an already broken circut bord smashed by a bou in my class if not for the surcut bord I probubly would have figured out how to putt it back together. How I wondered every day when I would get to take somthing apart and putt it back together, but everthing was altready taken apart and I neaded a more than a philups haid screwdriver to fix that phone what I neaded was somthing I had no ideah existed littlelone the fact that I was way to youn to even use a sodering iorn. The teachers still thaught that I was still to young to hold a pair of sisors even though I started using them in preschool. It is a wonder I survived. One day out of my life I am exited I get to learn how to use chopstickes in class wile eating popcorn we where not aloud to use our fingers. We where at the end of our china unit coloring the great wall with lopsided bricks that where supost to be a little lopsided. I was exalent at using the two sticks to pick up the popcorn the only problem was that I was holding them wrong but at least i did not nead a rubberband atached to the se sticklike utencels. Using my middle finger as a fulcrum and my pionter and ring to manipulate the top stick even until I saw the diagram and did so the proper way. How did I survive? One day out of my life it is nearing first comumyon this is my fist time tasting the wine so that Iwont makew a face if I did not like the way it tates. I thaught that it tasted horible even though I took a small sip as instructed. I did not make a face. How did I survive? Oneday out of my life it is first comunyon I take both the host and the wine this time I like it so much I take a big gulp and make a face. When my mother asked me why I took such a big gulp I told my mother that the whine “ tates better with Jesus in it.” my mother laphed so quietly only her ears and a few others herd her. I wonder how we survived. One day of my life I am now about 9 or 10 years old Great grandma took me fishing and taught me how to imbroider that night i could not sleap for some reason or another so I got out the cloth that I was working on and started stichin gI was so quiet that I thaught that I would sutly not wake her than again the light in the livingroom of her apartment could have given me away. She found me awake and unable to sleap soundly I was not homsich and usualy did not complain but the couch was a tad to cushey so I slept on the floor instad she thaught that I was crazy for sleaping on the floor instad of on the couch. It is a wonder that I survived. One summer out of my life I felt human I can not remember what summer this was but I taught my sister how to swim she wanted to jump into the pool and each time that se jumped I would take just a single step back evedently she lernd to jump quite far also because when she went to her first formal swimming lesson she kept taking off the floaty until she threw it so that the instructher could no longer reach it than when it was her turn to jum into the water she abot flatenes the instructer ling sory short she skiped a few levils. I wonder how the poor swim instructor is doing. It is a wonder that he survived my syster. One day of my life I rode my first rolercoster I was so exited that I could barly wate in line when we finaly got to the front of the lighn the rolercoster took us up and down I could barily understand why all the other peaple on bord where screaming eve mu unkle. When the ride was over I aslked him so tentitivly why where the other peaple skreaming? Than he told me “Because they where having fun” I still had no ideah

1.) Ancient Gear Portcullis (Earth, Lvl 4)
1,000/1,500
[Machine / Gemini / Effect]
This monster is treated as a normal monster while face-up on the field or in the GY. While this monster is a Normal Monster on the field, you can Normal Summon it to have it become an Effect Monster with this effect.
•Neither player can Special Summon monsters, except Machine type monsters.
- - -
The concept behind this is to act as a nerfed barrier statue variant, allowing a player to threaten the entrance of a barrier statue style monster before actually activating it, potentially baiting counterplay. The signature spell/trap disabling ability of many Ancient Gear cards is not included here, as doing so would be stepping on the toes of Ancient Gear Knight- something it doesn't need on top of its existing problems (might have to think of something to support it later).
2.) Ancient Gear Corpse-Oil Refinery (Dark, Lvl 5)
1,000/2,000
[Machine / Effect]
•If a monster other than "Ancient Gear Golem" would be sent to any player's GY for any reason, negate any monster effect that would be activated by sending it to the GY. That monster is instead equipped to this card. Ancient Gear Corpse-Oil refinery counts as one additional fusion material for each monster equipped to it in this way.
•If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate any Spell/Trap cards until the end of the Damage Step.
- - -
This is basically intended as a giant middle finger to Ash Blossom. The effect of counting as multiple copies of itself when used as fusion material is meant to provide at least some reward for eventually getting rid of Ancient Gear Corpse-Oil Refinery, allowing whoever played it to regain the ability to engage in GY shenanigans without waiting on the other player to intervene.
And yes, the exclusion of "Ancient Gear Golem" is entirely a formality, as simply mentioning "Ancient Gear Golem" allows Ancient Gear Advance to normal summon this card without tributing, as well as letting Ancient Gear Duel to protect this card from other monster effects.
Also note that, being a dark creature, Ancient Gear Corpse-Oil Refinery cannot be brought to bear while Barrier Statue of the Drought is active. The reasons for this are twofold:
•Firstly because the concept of how it works is that affected creatures (likely made of flesh) are ruthlessly ground down with their bodies and essence refined into "corpse-oil" with which the gears of other machines may be greased. As this process disrupts the natural cycle of death for the target and furthermore mutilates the body, dark thematically seems a more appropriate type than earth.
•Secondly, having this type gives opponents better counterplay should a player possess both Barrier of the Drought and Ancient Gear Corpse-Oil Refinery. As irritating as it is that a player can counter me special summoning something without properly playing a card themselves, worse yet is the idea they could play two cards and entirely lock me out of the game depending on my (lack of) luck. Ancient Gear Portcullis does indeed come into relevance here, but as a Gemini monster would demand some setup to magically appear and activate the same turn as Ancient Gear Corpse-Oil Refinery hitting the ground, thus allowing the opposition some time to prepare before both could be employed.

I know this topic has come up a few times before. Lots and lots of folks look at the "leaderboard" and try to estimate total Tonals based on that. And everyone points out the problem there is:

1. It's an opt-in leaderboard, so you have no idea what percentage opted out (can't figure out total active users).
2. It includes every user on a device, and we don't know how many users there are per device.
3. It's only 30-day active users, so anyone who breaks for more than 30 days falls off.

However, there's now two more recent data points that mitigate some of these points:

• Krystal Zell was interviewed on Fitt Insider, where she tonal's about Tonal's unique strength data advantage. It's overall quite interesting (she mentions using the data to ask about your goals in more detail and suggest workouts that work with others with similar goals, all the way down to situations like "I'm going on a skiing trip in three months and don't want to get injured."). Here's what she says: "150,000 members working out 10 times per month for 37 minutes every time they do it."
• Tonal released their "state of strength" in December. That report looks at 175,000 users who worked out at least 12 times with a minimum of 3 minutes of resistance between October 2022 and 2023. Additionally, some questions also include an additional 120,000 "active users" as of October 1, 2023 - those users must have worked out in the past 30 days, worked a minimum of three workouts on Tonal, and had a weekly consistency above 5 percent. Consistency is defined as percentage of weeks with at least one workout over the assessed period.
  So, at the low end, we've got 150,000 currently "very active" users who are working out continuously. Then, we've got at 175,000 who are at least working "on and off." Then, we've got 295,000 kind-of-active users - they can't be demo users (they worked out at least 3 times, and did those workouts over at least 3 different weeks, and all worked out at least once in the "past month" of the study).
  

So, we've fundamentally solved problems 1 and 3 above. We have a good idea of the universe of active users, at least in the past six months or so.
Now, we just need someone to ask Krystal about their data on users per device.
If I had to make an educated guess, I would think the average is somewhere around 2 users per device (probably below). Most households that are (a) owned and (b) middle or upper-middle class consist of either one or two adults, with the exception typically being adult children. The average US household consists of 2.5 people.
That would put me at guessing around 150,000 units with active subscriptions (which would line up with Krystal's statement, where she may have meant "members" as subscriptions in the first place).

Hey, I’m new here. Just ending my breastfeeding journey, two babies and almost 5 years of back to back nursing. I’ve been wearing nursing tanks with the built in shelf and wireless nursing bras (the kind that are sized S/M/L) this whole time and my breasts have completely changed of course. Their texture is soft and squishy and there is considerable sag (at least comparative to my pre baby younger breasts).
I’ve been trying to figure out my shape but as far as I can tell they seem to be pretty balanced as far as top or bottom fullness and projected vs shallow; I seem to fall right in the middle of things. Have no idea of my root height or whether I’m narrow or wide. In all this I have discovered my right breast is smaller than the left which causes gapping or wrinkling in most cups on the right side. I’m looking into a padding to correct that.
My measurements for ABTF calculator: loose under bust: 33 in Snug: 32.5 in As tight as can be: 30.5 in Bust standing: 38 in Bust leaning: 38.75 in Busy lying: 37.5 in
I was given size 32E with sister size 34DD
I have so far purchased the Panache Envy in 34DD because I was nervous about the 32 band being pretty tight. It feels great in the fit of the underwire and gore. The right cup of course has a slight wrinkle due to that breast not filling it out as well. This bra doesn’t look that nice under shirts though so I was looking for a smoother and/or lightly lined option. I have also tried the Fantasie Rebecca molded bra and it fit terribly in both my sizes. I have on hand the Curvy Kate Moody Bloom Balcony Bra and the 32E fits well also but again doesn’t look great under t—shirts.
Here are some photos. I’m wearing an extender on the tightest setting for both as the band felt pretty snug. 1st three are the Casey, 2nd three are the Definitions [NSFW]
https://imgur.com/a/EqFcQI6
I’m leaning toward the Parfait Casey because there’s less of a gap on the right cup, but again, maybe a well placed padding would fix that. Or maybe I should just return these and start over. I honestly had no idea so much went into finding a bra.

Two months have passed since I accepted my bisexuality. I have kinda known it for I had some same sex crushes over the years, although I always denied it until that one drinking game with kind and accepting queer friends. Everything is kinda new tho, also the bi cycle hits really hard. But I'm genuinely happy and I love myself for the first time in my life. :) I think about my previous 'straight' life sometimes. Like the fact that I remember that I had those crushes that I wouldn't have called crushes until my coming out to friends, and about how I would always be ashamed when anybody was talking about the gay community in a slightly negative manner.
Well, that life wasn't straight at all... the thing is, on top of feeling shame about my hidden sexual orientation, I had a single "fetish"? (I don't want to offend anybody, I just don't know if that's the proper word or not for what I have/am) That was crossdressing. I did it since I was 14 or so, and I even fantasized about it sooner (like 11-12). It turned me on sexually. I revisited it... still turns me on sexually. I think what the hell, I can't be trans, I wouldn't like to be trans :( at least not in Hungary. Even bisexuality is a pain in the ass here. And there's no kind of hormone therapy or else that would turn me into a beatiful woman since I'm a hairy, dad bodied guy flooded with testosterone.
The previous line of thought also suggests there's a chance I might be because I was like that (no way I can be queer) until I accepted I'm bi. However, I theorize that it all was a way to live out my bisexuality. Now I think it's a way to live out my submissiveness for men. And how I look when dressed as a woman doesn't matter, only the feeling, like satin, skirts, dresses and how the bra holds my man boobs, it feels really sexy. On the other side of things, if there was a magical pill that would turn me a hot biological woman for a certain period of time then I know I'd spend all my weekends as a woman. However, I could never say goodbye to my penis or beard forever😂 I could to my body hair, I would dig a laser therapy and I also would shave. Plus I know I would be happy as a woman too but I'm perfectly happy as a man who occasionally likes to try on bras, panties and dresses for fun.
For the coming out part: You know, hungarians in their fifties (like my parents) are usually homophobic as hell. Mine are only mildly homophobic. That means, they belong to the 'middle class' of people who say things against gay parent rights and pity Freddie Mercury about his unfortunate death. However, I'd take my chances because for years - dorm life in high school and uni's first year - I have been quite distant from them. I feel like I'm a double agent and I've had enough. I want a real, supportive mother and father from whom I could take advice in life's most private matters as well. I want what I feel I almost never had. I also want them to be a friend of mine. I won't tell my mother, she's too damn obstinate and seems to think what she says or does is always right. My father is a really good man I look up to: kind, always correct with people and always supportive of me. Now I'm at home but tomorrow I'll leave for uni (like 300 km) for nearly a month. I plan on telling that I'm bi, right before I leave, only to him. Tbh I fear he won't take it well and I just know he needs some time to digest all I will say. But now I don't need to tell him, I mean I don't yet have a boyfriend. But it will be easier if I do now, so it won't be so shocking then, IF I am by chance I settle for a guy. The only thing that bothers me is I don't feel that I can fully be myself at home and with them.
The bottom line:
So I'd like to seek out your advice. With all I've said, am I just a bi guy with a crossdressing fetish/femboy/egg?
Should I tell my father I'm bi and if yes, how shall I start? I get that he can only accept but not understand and this is sometimes even harder for fathers.
I'm sorry for the tangled up pieces of thoughts I have scraped on a sleepless night at four a.m. And for the long text as well. I'd really appreciate if you read it and helped. Plus, I don't know whether I should use the NSFW tag or not. For now (until you say otherwise) I'll keep it off because this way I might be able to reach out to more people.
Edit: Satirically, pardon me for my poor usage of the english language.😂 I feel that I must, like I'm too queer not to✌️🏳️‍🌈 (don't know which flag I should also use rn)

Hurricane Georg.
Our first contact with the new world was a colossal hurricane. Veins of lightning shattered through the black, swirling clouds. I had just tried to calm the nerves of the ship when I saw Suri sitting in the hall beneath the control room.
She was in a lounge corner with her suitcase opened and her supplies scattered across the small table. The little light from the window illuminated her drawing for me to see over her shoulder.
The black and white sketch began at the bow of the ship. The figure of a man in facing the open ocean. Ahead of him, the familiar despair of Hurricane Georg. The man had his back towards the artist, but his stature sailed through the fierce storm without worry. His gaze only in the beautiful sight of home on the other side.
Her pencil began to etch the details of his crewmans jacket, "You have a gift, Suri. Truly, you do."
She was ahead of me, she did not jump or gasp as I had expected, "Thank you, Capi. I saw you in the reflection. Im hard to get the jump on."
"Then this shouldnt surprise you," I smiled and approached her table. "My capi stars are on the right side, "I stepped back and tapped my shoulder."
Disappointment inked her face, darkening her mood, "Dam."
I laughed and pulled up a chair. She had captured the view from the window perfectly and I made a point to tell her. As we talked the storm outside began to fade. The world around us was healed and the worries of yesterday had never existed.
Her eyes were near black, in color, and her skin was incredibly warm. Physical characteristic were useless to determine where a person was from, but 500 years ago, she would have fit at home with the people of the Middle East. Had I been a different man, her beauty and brain would make a perfect partner.
The longer I stared, the darker the world around us became. Until she broke my gaze and looked shocked at something through the window.
"Did you see that?"
"No, what was it?"
"I-Im not sure..." her face drained of color as the harsh rocking of the storm was interrupted by something else. Suri and I were flung off our chairs onto the floor, her supplies pelting us as they flew through the air. I tried to stand, but my legs were too soft to make it easy.
I struggled to a kneel using the bolted-down desk. Suri gasped and I looked down. The longer I looked, the itchier it became. Once more the world grew darker and I only had enough energy for a simple joke.
"Mr. Morgs was right about those things."
"Gud morning, Capi!" Ennay cheered from the wall-mounted screen.
I struggled to sit myself up. I was in the infirmary, only Ennay was there to greet me. My jacket was gone. All I had on was a white t-shirt and grey shorts.
"Officer Angelhart had your attire taken to be cleaned," Ennay chimed in, "Today is Wednesday, sir, 4:13am. Its the morning after you lost consciousness."
I thanked him and asked him to catch me up on the happenings in the passed half day.
"The reality is unclear, Capi, but Helmsman Archer believes we were attacked by a... a sea monster, sir."
"Archer? Hes no storyteller. Why?" I swung my legs over the bed, "get him down here or tell him im on my way."
Ennay surprised me with his fast response, "No. Sir, We had a breach. Ms. Aziz told the Doctor you had severed and artery during a spell of turbulence. The New Horizon had actually made contact with something what breached the hull. Damage Control responded in 4 minutes and were quick to contain flooding. However, we sustained a second breach."
Before he could continue, I dropped back onto the bed, "Whats the status?"
"On the New Horizon? Operational. A few sections had to be permanently sealed until we are out of this storm."
"And Damage Control?"
Ennay did not respond as quickly as he had been. It felt like an eternity before he told me, "6 casualties," the room fell completely silent. I couldnt even hear my heart beating, "5 fatalities. Sergant Franccigo Blanco is recovering in Infirmary 4C. He is unconscious, but has sustained gruesome wounds. Officer Angelhart declared a S.O.E. to assume your position. Otherwise,..."
"Yes, yes, the prosthetics. I hate that system."
"Well, sir, you are able to disable it."
"What?"
"Its not a very common scenario, but since we are not in International Sea, the law requiring your presence does not necessarily need to be enforced."
I sat back and thought for a second, "Ill discuss it with Dr. Mally. Where are they all?"
"Dr. Mally is in Infirmary 4C with Sergant Blanco. Officer Angelhart is your office filling out an incident report for both your accident and the breaches."
"Thank you, Ennay. Tell Max I am on my way and then let Dr. Mally know I will meet her shortly."
"Of course, sir."
My office was silent except for the fan gently spinning from the ceiling. Across from me was a young man, mid-twenties, with dusty blond hair. His uniform was perfect, he has even removed his hat on the perfect beat upon entering the room.
The appearance and demeanor any ship captain would be beyond proud to accept on his ship. It had just been dumb luck that he had lost both of his eyes to shrapnel sealing off the lower corridors during the state of emergency yesterday.
I poured Mr. Blanco a drink, 2444 Geoff Russel - The Hearty Mans Drink. I needed to finish the incident report, but Id never ask a man to relive what he had without a bit of buzz to his bite.
"So, Sargent Blanco, I-"
"You can call me, Fran, Capi."
"And you can call me Santago, for tonight anyway," I continued my questions. I tried my best to stay shallow and not dive deep into the pain Fran had endures just hours ago.
We talked about the 5 fatalities.
"Did you... see... them die?"
The gauze replacing his eyes stared at me, blankly. His face was uncanny, unhuman. Like the man inside may actually have been a 6th dead body.
"No," he quickly took a drink, "I did hear them, though. They yelled and screamed for me to open the door. I- I couldnt see. I thought the sea water had poisoned me somehow. I kept rubbing and rubbing my eyes hoping to get whatever radioactive stuff out of my head..." He took a breath. He was remarkably calm. Agitated, of course. But calm.
He continued, "I looked through the window on the bulkhead and the last thing I saw was Aleks staring back at me. His eyes were... he was calling out for me, I am sure of it. But something got him and he was sucked out."
"I am so sorry, Fran," I tried to write as quietly as possible to not remind him of the formality, "Do you know what got him?"
He finished his glass. As he set it down, he missed the table. The cup did not shatter, but it had jolted Fran from his memory. He lost his composure.
He started yelling at me about a horrific beast he had seen. How Aleks, Private Aleksander Igorsen, had been encased in blood and black sludge. He swung his hands wildly at the table in a rage, but had only managed to knock over a lamp.
Pity does not begin to describe what I felt watching him. Like a bleeding animal continuing to run from the wolves despite not knowing he was already surrounded. In him, I saw death. I saw anger. I saw fear. I saw what he was feeling imaging the creature that killed his men.
I grappled with him, trying to make my location known and always talking to him. I was not some monster from the unknown blackness set on hunting him and he needed to know that. He continued to struggle until I had completely engulfed his whirlwind into a hug. The screams turned to cries and then to whimpers.
After some time, I dismissed him back to his room and instructed Ennay that he was on suicide watch. Sergant Franccigo Blanco had earned a promotion or a permanent dismissal, whichever he wanted, but I needed him to take time to himself before I reminded him where we are.
The storm was intense, but at least it was consistent. By Katzs reckoning, we are approaching the halfway point of this hurricane. We had entered it 51 hours ago and Katz had said we are another 50 away from clear skies.
Unfortunately for all of us, Katzs theory was not seen through.
It began with our solar panelling being severed from their operating power banks. That was not a major issue, hydropower was our primary source. The issue arose when the New Horizon began to spin.
I had radioed the Helmsman demanding why we are weighing anchor, but the anchor was still resting above water. He said no one dropped the anchor. Something else entirely had us. We rushed to every window, every pane of glass to search for whatever it was that was stopping us.
Ennay spoke out, "Capi, Major Gorlammi has spotted our snag at 129 degrees. Nearest viewpoint is Residential Room L3D, assigned to L-"
I ignored the rest, I needed to see what was in that window. Luckily for me, Lucy Partridge was not home. I burst through the door and, for the first time, I saw a behemoth of a serpent-like creature sticking out of the water. I could not see a head, nor tail. I also had no idea if what I saw was the body or an appendage connected to some inconceivably large beast.
After enough time, I manage to figure out one of the ships heavy guns had pierced the creature and was holding us together. Our best bet was to either rotate the gun and hope its dislodged or to remove the gun entirely.
I relayed this information to Ennay to alerted the Gunner Teams and Damage Control. Yet, none of them would be given the chance. In the distance, silhouetted by sparks of lightning the size of the ship, I saw the head of the creature. It must have been miles away, but the size was unparalleled. Its head leaped from the water and swiveled back towards us. It was like a colossal eel. Flashes of light showed through its skin like veins until it sent a surge into the gun and into the ship.
The lights went out across the boat. The only light was the occasional flash from outside. It was completely dark, but I knew it was still coming for us.
I ran out of the quarters as emergency lights slowly burned. The hallway must have been 100 feet long before Id reach the staircase, but when I was halfway through, my feet left the ground.
I felt weightless for a moment. The lights burned out and all around me was darkness. My heart was incredibly slow or maybe time had slowed. I felt the doorframe to Mrs. Partridges room snap against my elbow. There was no pain. I didnt even feel pain when glass cut across my back as I was hurled through the shattered window.
I crashed into the water, it must have been hundreds of feet below me. I was in shock. I looked around and all I saw was darkness. Then, suddenly, all I saw was light. The eel sent a pulse through its body and for the first time I saw the monster entirely. It surrounded the ship above water, coiled all about the waves, and entangled the entire ocean as deep as I could see.
This is not a colossal eel surviving a hurricane.
This colossal eel is the very being causing the hurricane.
A cosmic terror named Hurricane Georg.

“Jacob, can you come over here?”
“Give me a minute, Jess. Just finishing something up”
“I’m not asking a fucking question, get over here now.”
I stared into space for a couple seconds, conjuring up the strength to get off the couch. I had just gotten back from work, and helping my girlfriend around the house was the last thing I wanted to do that night. I mean, I thought she was about to have a bath; what the fuck did she want now? Before I could get up, footsteps started rapidly approaching me from the back bathroom. I quickly threw my phone aside on the couch and hopped up, acting like I was on my way.
“What the hell is taking you so long?” Jess said, bursting through the doorway. She was in her typical business casual blazer and jeans. I hadn’t seen her since she left for work in the morning; when she came home just 5 minutes prior she headed straight for the shower. She looked… flustered.
“Sorry, I had to just finish up some paperwork for some stuff at work,” I scraped out unconvincingly. Jess looked at me skeptically, so I quickly diverted the conversation. “Anyways, we can talk about it later, what’s going on?”
“I think, I don't really know how to explain it,” Jess said. I could sense a quiver of fear in her voice. “There’s, like, an infestation.”
“Like, of spiders?” I could feel my skin crawl. I sure as hell wasn’t hoping to have a showdown in the bathtub with a tarantula.
“No, no spiders. Just flies I think. And it’s not a whole nest or anything, they’re just crawling out of the floorboards. I saw a few last night but there’s way more now.”
“Shit, well I guess I’ll go check it out if you want.”
Jess nodded, and we locked eyes. She almost looked afraid, her eyes bleached with a sense of sorrow, while her brows were furrowed.. in fear? Maybe disappointment? It had always been so hard to read her. I had so many questions to ask her, but all I could choke out was, “Are you okay?”
She stared downwards and said, “Tough day at work.”
“You’re a bad liar.”
“Yeah, I know.”
An awkward silence followed. “I’ll see what I can do,” I said, awkwardly breaking the ice.
I walked past her, through the kitchen, and into the hallway. I peered over my shoulder as I wrapped around the corner and caught Jess staring at me blankly with that same face. I finally understood; she didn’t look distraught or afraid, she was guilty. I’ll admit, we had been going through a rough patch, but we had also been going to therapy and she hadn’t shown a sign of remorse. Guilt was something that she had never shown before. It was strange, but I didn’t think much of it at the time.
I opened our bedroom door and, to my confusement, the lights were out. I tried flipping on the light switch but nothing happened. I clicked it back and forth a couple more times, but the only light came from the far corner near the window. The bathroom door was slightly ajar, spilling in a sliver of light into the darkness.
BZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZ
A monotone buzzing noise traveled through the shadows, grating against my ears.
BZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZZZ BZZZ BZZZZZ
I moved towards the bathroom, but I stopped right before the door.
BZZZZ BZ BZZZZ BZZZZZZZ BZZ BZ
I was afraid. The buzzing seemed to grow louder by the second. It was deafening, piercing. “It’s just a couple of flies. I can handle a couple of flies,” I muttered to myself. I opened the door, and it let out a creeaak that split through the hum like butter.
BZZZZZ BZZ BZZZZ BZZZ BZZZZZZ
When Jess had called it an infestation, she was wrong. No, that would be putting it kindly. It was a fucking plague of them. On the far end of the bathroom, where the tub lay right next to the window, flies were pounding against the window screen, attempting to break through the plastic wire. There were some who succeeded, but were stuck bouncing back and forth against the screen and the glass furiously like enraged ping pong balls. Their murmurs resonated through the room, the droning buzz mimicking the sound of power lines on a hot summer day.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I felt like running, but instead I moved closer. I stood straight over the tub, looking down at the floorboards. Flies were flying out of the cracks by the seconds. The floor held a mixture of insects, dead and alive. There were ants and beetles that scurried among a graveyard of dead flies. That’s when it hit me; a wafting stench flared at my nostrils. It made my eyes water.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I shoved myself further into the swarm, getting pelted by the insects as I shoved my hands forward. I gripped my fingers around the corner of the screen and ripped it back. Flies ricocheted off my face, looking for a route to freedom. My hands fumbled for the bottom of the window, and I shoved it upwards. The insects whirred out of the room, exiting through the window and out into the night. I fell backwards and scrambled away from the continuous swarm exiting through the floorboards.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
The buzzing of the insects eventually faded. I got up, slowly but surely, and stumbled back over to the window. The flies were gone, but the stench still lingered. I looked downwards, over the sea of dead flies, beetles, and ants, and towards the floorboards. One spot in particular caught my eye. A few flies were still crawling out, but I took a large step over the bathtub and crunched down upon the beatles and flies. I squatted down next to the floorboard, noticing that it was very loose. I gripped my hands around it, took a deep breath, and ripped it out. The stench intensified, rushing against my face as I pulled the board out of its socket.
Concealed inside the walls of my bathroom, a rotting body lay right before my eyes. The unfortunate soul’s head had been ripped apart, its brain, or what was left of it, almost completely eaten by the insects. The body was bloated, and there was still plenty of flesh still left. It was fresh. I staggered backwards, my eyes plastered in the direction of the body. I couldn’t look away. All of a sudden, the light turned off, and my heart sank. I was completely and utterly enveloped in darkness.
“You were wrong, I’m not a bad liar,” a familiar voice giggled from behind me.
I wanted to turn around, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear to face what I would see, even though I knew what would await me.
“What the fuck, Jess?! Who the fuck even are you?” I decided to face my fears, and turned around to see the dark outline of my girlfriend. “You fucking killed someone and let insects turn him into fucking skin and bones?! What the fuck, what the fuck, how is this possible-” I wailed on in shock, before Jess cut me off.
“Oh, don’t worry. I didn’t let the beatles do all of the dirty work, I had a little snack as well!”
I looked at Jess in terror, disgust, and shock. She thought this was funny. Whether she was a cannibal or simply a killer, I couldn’t give a fuck. I spent years with her, I slept with that monster, and I fucking loved that bitch. I simply didn’t, and still, don’t understand.
What happened next was somewhat of a blur. All I know is that I didn’t want to end up like the person underneath the floorboards. I jumped straight out of the window and hopped in my car. I drove for hours, and I didn’t stop until I ran out of fuel. The one thing that I really do remember though, is her pleading screams for me to come back as I sped away from our house.
“Come back!”
“Please don’t leave me!”
“I love you!”
“Please don’t do this!”
“I don’t want to hurt you!”
“Let's just talk this out, please!”
As much as I want my old Jess back, I have a feeling that my old Jess never existed. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I had stayed that night. She might’ve spared me. She might’ve still loved me. Maybe we could’ve lived on as if her little hobby didn’t matter.
But I didn’t, and I don’t think I ever could’ve.

I like a little rain because it washes away the dirt in the atmosphere.
Will the road be clean, it will be drinking water.
The tragedy of the Middle East will fall on all of us.
𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧⚘
When the thread of anger is broken, the war begins.
We have to put up with it, I've endured it over and over again.
Biden should retire early.
​
𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧⚘
​
Kennedy has been assassinated , so it's no longer from America.
Who will take responsibility for the war that ×illed so many people ?
Netanyahu who has crossed the line
​
‪I'm having a nightmare, this is a dream story
​
இo
​

hey everyone, please help me. im so convinced i have a brain tumor. okay so a week ago, i noticed this head pressure. mainly when i get up, bend down, it's like a squeezing for a few seconds..and then i get headaches on my right side, does that mean that mean there's a tumor there ?! if it was big enough to be causing headaches on one side wouldn't there be more symptoms? the headache is mostly when i get up to do things. and head just feels weird when i stand up, like weird. lightheaded, fuzzy, pressure , and idk it feels tight by my nose. please reassure me this isn't a brain tumor. im making a appointment tomorrow and if it's to far im just gonna go to the ER but I'm terrified to sleep because I'm like what if I die in my sleep? how would I know if it's a brain tumor ??? I'm only 21. i have bad anxiety. this is so scary if it's not a brain tumor my anxiety is saying what if it's a vitamin deficiency and it stops my heart it won't right?.. also the spot below my eyebrow is twitching non stop my head mainly hurts when I get up and do things UPDATE: was at the ER today. told him about this. he said he didn't feel like a CT scan was needed plus I was already having a stomach ultra sound so he said he didn't want to use to much radiation. he checked my pupils, had me follow his fingers with my eyes, walk in lines and do more stuff with my hands and I passed. does that mean I'm okay? I'll def go back if I feel worse .

Graphic design is a field where creativity meets practicality, and for those in this dynamic profession, the environment can play a crucial role in fostering inspiration and success. Astrocartography and relocation astrology offer fascinating insights into how different locations can enhance your creative and professional prospects as a graphic designer. Let’s delve into how these astrological tools can help in finding the best places for your design career to flourish.
Relocated Chart Aspects for Graphic Designers
A relocated chart can highlight the astrological factors that support creativity and professional growth in graphic design:
Key House Positions:

• 5th House (Creativity and Self-Expression): A strong 5th house can boost creative expression, making it a fertile ground for graphic designers. Planets like the Sun or Venus here can enhance artistic talents.
• 3rd House (Communication and Skills): Graphic design is not just about creativity but also communication. A well-aspected 3rd house can improve your ability to convey ideas effectively.
• 10th House (Career and Public Image): Planets favorably placed in the 10th house can elevate your professional status and public recognition in the design field.

Significant Planetary Aspects:

• Mercury for Communication: Positive aspects to Mercury can sharpen your communication skills, crucial in understanding client needs and conveying ideas.
• Venus for Artistic Flair: Harmonious aspects to Venus, the planet of beauty and art, can enhance your aesthetic sense and style in design.
• Uranus for Innovation: Favorable aspects to Uranus can stimulate originality and innovative thinking, helping you create unique and modern designs.

Planetary Combinations Beneficial for Design:

• Sun-Venus: Encourages a harmonious blend of creativity and aesthetic sense.
• Mercury-Uranus: Stimulates innovative and forward-thinking ideas.
• Moon-Mercury: Supports intuition in understanding client needs and market trends.

Astrocartography Lines for Graphic Designers
Astrocartography can guide you to locations where planetary energies support your graphic design career:

• Venus Lines for Artistic Inspiration: Locations under Venus lines can enhance your artistic sensibilities and help in finding inspiration for your designs.
• Mercury Lines for Communication and Networking: Mercury lines can be great for building connections, learning new skills, and effectively marketing your work.
• Sun Lines for Confidence and Recognition: Sun lines can boost your confidence and may bring more recognition for your work.

Integrating Relocation Chart and Astrocartography for Design Career
Combining the insights from your relocated chart with astrocartography can pinpoint locations that not only inspire your creativity but also offer professional growth opportunities. For example, a Mercury line may bring networking opportunities, while a strong 10th house in your relocated chart could mean greater visibility for your work in that area.
Natal Chart Considerations
Your natal chart sets the foundation for your inherent talents and challenges. Important factors include:

• Natal 5th and 3rd Houses: These houses can indicate your natural creative talents and communication skills.
• Natal Venus and Mercury: Their placements and aspects can reveal your intrinsic artistic abilities and how you communicate ideas.
• Aspects to the Midheaven: These influences can shape your career path and public standing as a graphic designer.

Conclusion
For graphic designers looking to maximize their creative potential and career success, astrocartography and relocation astrology can be invaluable tools. By understanding the astrological influences in different locations and how they interact with your natal chart, you can find environments that not only inspire your creativity but also support your professional growth and success in the competitive world of graphic design. Remember, while astrology can provide guidance, your personal drive, talent, and hard work are key to making the most of these cosmic influences.

Sionia
Chapter 14
Map First Previous
“Lord Wyatt, you are needed” Called Lars that shook me out of my fascinating reading about dragon neuts.
“Yes.” I said as I pulled back the curtain.
“The city guard requests to speak with you. They are restricting entrance to Avalon given the latest attack by Mardor at Black Gate of Rowan.” Lars explained with a salute and chest bump
With a sigh, I handed my book to Gus and exited the carriage and was very impressed with the massive three story gatehouse and huge stone block readouts connected on each side. I was met by a forty something looking man of average build with black hair and dark eyes flanked by six fully fitted out soldiers.
“I am Rhys Redith captain of the guard here in Avalon. You must be Count Ryan Wyatt.” Rhys introduced himself with the question.
“Yes, I am Ryan Wyatt.” I responded with a frown and knotted brow.
“We have been expecting your arrival. The king has ordered us to assist you and provide hospitality. I am to escort you to the fortress and the rest of your party to Duggan's inn.” Said Rhys with a salute and formal bow.
“That will not do! I have several wards under my care which several are nobility.” I objected to the plan given.
“I was not aware. I will of course take you to the fortress where Lady Ludmilla will address your concerns.” Replied Rhys with a salute and bow then motioned for me to follow.
“Follow him, Jace .” I said to my new driver and climbed into the carriage.
The bridge over the north side of the Paradise River to the island of Avalon was very long at around a quarter mile or so. The readouts of the gatehouse extended a good ways into the river which had several firing positions. I suspected that the river rose and fell with a possible rainy and dry season which was why the readouts could prevent an army from getting behind the gatehouse or access to the bridge from land. The island side gatehouse was flush with the city walls and protruded into the river was equally as impressive with a descent sized recessed portico and draw bridge porch extension.
Thinking back to my travels through Europe, I decided Avalon looked like the city of East Looe, Cornwall in England but not as topographically elevated and with more renaissance style architecture than back on earth. The Roman style arched bridge was very much what we just rode across. The fortress of Avalon itself was at the highest point which was off to the left on the far east side of the island and most up stream point on the islands.
The Fortress keep was decent but still half the size of Duke Boasag's Buanna. I realized that the reason for putting my servants at an inn was because of the lack of space. However, I was determined to stay with my wards no matter the violation of etiquette it might cause. As my carriage pulled up to the entrance with the fortress that had both iron gates and metal reinforced wooden doors that were a good six feet wide and twelve feet tall each. These doors were set into no less than a three foot thick wall.
Passing through the gate was a small bricked paved courtyard that was about forty to fifty feet wide in a more or less oval shape. I saw a host of servants and two well dressed ladies waiting at the main doors to the fortress's central keep.
“Lord Wyatt, welcome to Avalon. I am Viscountess Ludmilla Skafhoggr and this is my mother Baroness Grogda Wode.” Stated a quiet plump pretty faced brown haired woman in a gaudy yellow with purple accented dress with unicorns all over it and a matching unicorn hat whose horn protruded a good foot from her forehead.
“Yes, it is a very deep pleasure to meet you as well.” Stated Lady Grogda a good looking woman who seemed to be in her mid to late thirties with black hair and unusual olive colored eyes. Her lite brown dress was quiet plain compared to her daughter's which was kind of comical in their contrast.
“The pleasure is mine for sure in meeting you ladies.” I said pouring it on a bit thick with a formal bow and sweep of my arm.
“I do not understand. Why are all your people with you?” Lady Ludmilla asked looking toward Captain Rhys but speaking to me.
“I have many wards under my protection. Thus, it is impossible to leave them alone without my presence as there are many who would try and take advantage of helpless young girls.” I stated but that failed miserably when Freya and the other three Asgardians approached fully armed with their swords.
“I would hardly call them helpless!” Spat Lady Grogda with a bit of contempt as the Asgardians were better looking than her.
“Despite appearances, they need my protection. After all, I am their guardian as I freed them from captivity.” I responded with a bit of admonishment in my voice.
“Yes, we have heard the tale. You are quiet the knight in shinning armor.” Lady Ludmilla said with obvious sarcasm.
“It is what it is. The wards will be with me wherever I am. If that is at an inn or camping on the side of the road, so bit it.” I stated with irritation.
“Do not be silly. We can host your wards and personal attendant. However, we must insist that the rest stay in the inn over there.” Lady Ludmilla said pointing to a three story building that was about fifty yards away.
“That is closer than expected. However, I accept. My people can stay at the inn while you host me and my wards.” I stated with another formal bow.
“Good, now come and we will see to your comfort.” Lady Ludmilla said with a bit of a laugh with Lady Grogda giving a small laugh and a wicked grin.
I immediately turned to Lars, Razor and Meowth and ordered that they maintain a watch on the carts and carriage around the clock as I did not want any lapse where someone would try to take advantage. I called to the wolf kin brothers to continue to protect the girls inside the fortress. Pointing to Lars, I told him to take our prisoner Andros to the adventure's guild office and turn him over and letting them know he was caught trying to steal from me. Let them know I will see them on morrow to see if Andros was telling the truth or just lying. Turning with a smile and motioned to Freya and the girls to follow me with Gus right behind me.
The inside of the fortress was decently furnished though it had more of the appearance of a military outpost than a holding of wealth as it looked quiet spartan. I was led to an upper chamber where Lady Grogda had already ordered a bath filled by the time we had arrived.
“I will see to you personally” Lady Grogda stated with that same wicked grin again.
I suddenly felt as though I was a piece of meat put on display before a hungry wolf. I steeled myself to not recoil as I just felt off with this lady.
“See to your master's baggage.” Lady Grogda ordered Gus who was surprised by the command.
Gus gave me a slight shaking of his head and left the chamber. Lady Grogda then proceeded to strip me with efficiency. Once I was naked, she suddenly took her time looking at my nakedness. She even traced my scars on my back with a click of her tongue. Walking over to the tub, I climbed in and sat down.
“Spoil sport” Said Lady Grogda as she grabbed a wash cloth.
“Do not get my wounds wet.” I said warning Lady Groda of what the doctor had told me.
“Why? Your wound is almost well healed. The stitches can be pulled out except here” Stated Grogda and tapped me on my left shoulder blade.
“I have been using a special salve from the high elves. I did not realize it was healing that fast. However, I was warned that getting my wound wet would effect my healing.” I repeated what Doctor Zalzwarth told me.
“Very well.” Groda conceded.
Lady Grogda began washing me where she was absolutely taking her time. It was obvious that she was deliberately feeling me up for her own pleasure. When she grasped my manhood. I stood up and said, “The water is cold and I am tired and hungry!”
“Humph” Pouted Lady Grogda her displeasure but began to rinse me.
Just as I was stepping out of the tub, Gus entered slightly out of breath as he had run to get my clothes with Lukas my footman helping. I sighed with relief as Gus helped me don my dressing gown.
“Old Maude will be here momentarily to apply your salve.” Gus said with a salute.
“Very good.” I replied to Gus then turned to Lady Grogda and said, “I was told you are a Dowager Baroness. Is that not so?” I blatantly asked appearing as innocent as I could.
“I will see you at the dinner bell hour.” Lady Groda said with a sort of half wave salute and stormed out of the chamber in a huff.
“Thank you, Gus. I actually thought I would have to literally fight to save my personal honor.” I remarked with a laugh.
“It was my pleasure, Lord Wyatt.” Gus responded and joined me in laughing.
Old Maude came about twenty minutes later and applied my salve and chatted about how excited she was to be in Avalon and wanting to visit one of the apothecary shops. I gave her permission but have one of the guards accompany her.
About an hour later and I was fully shaven and dressed, I heard a large bell ringing from a bell tower not far away from my chamber. With that, I headed down to the great hall that was just off the main entrance way. I was met by Lady Ludmilla who escorted me to Viscount Skafhoggr chair where she seated herself to my left. Lady Grogda appeared wearing a new pink dress and seated herself to my right. The one missing was the Viscount.
“Where is Lord Skafhoggr?” I asked Lady Ludmilla with a raised eyebrow.
“He is meeting with one of the military commanders. I believe they are deciding on how large a levy they must raise to battle the bastards of Mardor.” Replied Lady Ludmilla as she clapped her hands for servants to begin serving the evening meal.
Four exhausting hours later, I was back in my chamber with my nerves completely shot. The constant fawning and mindless chatter from Lady Ludmilla as well as the constant groping from Lady Grogda under the table had stained me to the max. I was ready for bed and was glad to sink into the lavender scented sheets. Gus grabbed a thin pallet and two blankets. Blowing out the candles he stepped into the hallway closing the door behind him. He would outside my door as custom demands while traveling.
A little over a half an hour later after Gus left, the door opened and closed quickly. I could not see in the darkness but relaxed when Freya spoke softly and slipped into bed with me. Freya did her magic on me as she mounted me taking me to new heights of pleasure. I quickly forgot all about the overly eager pursuit of the Dowager Baroness as I shared the pleasures of being with Freya. After we had sated ourselves completely, we slept peacefully in a loving embrace.
The morning came with a knock on my door that woke both Freya and I. I moaned but Freya nudged me on the chin.
“Time to wake you lazy bones.” Freya said with a laugh.
“I am not a morning person.” I said with a groan.
“Don't I know it! You were quiet the beast were you not?” Freya teased then laughed at me.
The knock on the door was more instant as I rose and put on my dressing gown. Opening the door slightly was Gus and the Dowager Baroness.
“It is early, what is it?” I asked.
“We have prepared a very special meal for you this morning.” Said Lady Grogda with a frown while she tried to look around me into the chamber.
“I see. Well, give me some time to properly dress and I will be down shortly.” I stated and continued to Gus “Have Lukas bring my shaving kit.”
“Right away, Lord Wyatt.” Gus said as he motioned down the hall where I assumed Lukas was.
About forty five minutes later and having snuck Freya out of my chamber, I was fully shaved and dressed in my dark red outfit and black beret hat that actually looked really good on me. Upon entering the great hall, I saw Lady Ludmilla seated. Lady Grogda taking me by the arm led me again to the Viscount's chair where she seated herself next to me.
“Where is Lord Skafhoggr, Lady Ludmilla?” I asked her directly.
Lady Ludmilla was quiet for a moment then said, “I guess he is sleeping. The meetings with the military commanders drag on for hours and hours. I hardly ever see him these days.” Lady Ludmilla said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Is that so. Very well as it can not be helped. Please send my regards to Lord Skafhoggr for his hospitality. I was informed that the king would have a messages for me that Lord Skafhoggr was to give me. Could you ask Lord Skafhoggr for them?” I asked as I suspected something was just not right.
“Oh. Ah. I will of course ask my Lord Vincent for the king's message once morning meal is finished.” Lady Ludmilla said and looked discombobulated.
“I see. Please do so. The king ordered me to arrive in Camelot immediately. I can not dally and spend extra time as I normally would do. I hope you understand.” I said making extra emphasis on the king's order part.
“Yes. What the king commands we all must obey.” Lady Ludmillas said sourly but not looking at me.
Lady Ludmilla then clapped her hands and the servants brought in the morning meal. What surprised me was my meal was different from everyone else. Looking at both Lady Ludmilla and Lady Grogda something in the back on my head screamed warning warning.
The silver plate before me was a type of stew with a strong overpowering spice scent. I frowned and began to think hard and fast.
“This is a specialty from the High Valley region. I hope you like it.” Lady Grogda said with no expression at all.
My alarm bells went off even stronger this time. A footman came over to fill my cup which I deliberately knocked over and profusely apologized for my clumsiness.
“You know, I am from the High Valley region too. I have never been a fan of overly spiced foods. Lets see how spicy it is.” I stated and took a scoop with a spoon and handed it to the footman to taste.
The footman was surprised but more than happy to taste the food as it was obvious that food for the staff was very plain and simple.
“You should not do that! It is not right!” Lady Grogda said as she stood up showing more alarm than outrage.
The footman had already consumed the sample where he at first looked like he liked it. However, he suddenly started to choke as his face turned bright red and falling to his knees. Lady Ludmilla stood up in horror as the footman was gagging begging for water. I handed him my silver chalice with what I assumed was apple cider where he chugged it down then begged for more.
Finally, after three more cups of water given by another footman, first footman just lay on his back almost in a stupor. It was as if his mind was blank.
“What is this?” I asked as I pointed to my meal looking at both Lady Ludmilla and Lady Grogda.
“I do not know!” Said Lady Ludmilla looking at her mother with a strange look.
“Do not give me that! What did you do?” I demanded with a my voiced raised and now pointing my finger at them.
“It was a love potion. It was to make you like me.” Said Lady Grogda meekly and looking sheepishly at the ground.
“Seriously! That was more than a simple love potion!” I yelled my outrage.
“I swear that is all it was. I had to hide its not so pleasant taste with spice.” Lady Grogda stated her defense but still not able to look me in the eye.
“Lady Ludmilla, I must now ask that you bring me the king's message as I am now leaving Avalon.” I commanded with rage in my countenance.
Lady Ludmilla fled the great hall without replying. Lady Grogda just sat down with her head down looking at the floor saying nothing.
With exasperation, I called out to my people. “House of Wyatt, Ladies and girls we are leaving! Quickly gather your things and be out front within a little span!”
With that, I stormed out of the great hall to the shock of all present. Up in the guest chamber, I changed clothes into my bluejeans, a blue shirt and a tan leather vest. Pulling on my boots and strapping on my weapons belt, I looked over seeing Gus and Lukas already packed up my discarded clothing and was ready to leave as they were staying clear of my angry outbursts.
Down at the carts, I ordered my guards to ready themselves to leave. I sent Lukas to call all the servants in the inn to be ready to leave immediately. Razor and Meowth jumped down from their perch on the first two carriages with questioning looks.
“They tried to poison me! Can you believe it?” I said angrily as I swept my arm to point at the fortress.
“Meow Lord Wyatt, that is clawful. Do you want meow to use them like a scratching post?” Asked Meowth as her tail went straight in what I assumed was either surprise or anger.
Razor just gave a low grumbling growl with teeth bared as he looked at the fortress.
Forty minutes later as my people were loading up, Lady Ludmilla approached with her head down.
“I am sorry Lord Wyatt. It seems you do not have any messages from the king.” Lady Ludmilla said never once looking me in the eye.
“I see. Send a message to the king that I left Avalon today and as commanded traveling as quickly as I can. The king is expecting my update so make sure it is properly sent!” I said with a warning.
I ordered a florse saddled for I needed fresh air as I was still furious. I actually led our people out and toward the main north south road which Nick panicked a bit and settled with riding next to me. As we approached the main crossroads of the city, I saw a large dinning hall and ordered a halt for all of our people to have breakfast. The meal consisted of roasted mutton, eggs, apple pancakes and apple jam. They also had fresh chilled milk and apple cider which really went well with the sweet dishes. Our group apparently cleaned them out and they had to turn away a few customers until mid day.
After breakfast, I went to the adventurer's guild that was a few buildings to the south. It was a four story building of decent size. I allowed Old Maude with a one of the house guards to go to the apothecary shop across the road along with the two Alphardian servants Aura and Sylvia. Inside the adventurer's guild, I asked for Marine as instructed. It was then I learned that Marine was Zack Talley's girl where they were to marry soon as she proudly let me know her good news.
“Zack said to tell you this is a level one escort. Whatever that means.” I repeated what Zack had told me to say.
“Thank you. It simply means Zack thinks there would be no problems and just being present is enough to discourage any potential thieves. The total is two hundred fifty denari for basic escort with an A ranked adventurer.” Marine said with a smile
After paying the fee for the job request, I asked Marine to speak to someone about Andros that was brought in by man guard Lars.
“I am Supervisor Etan Borg and assistant to Guild Master Henry Stewart. It is a pleasure to be at your service Count Wyatt..” Stated Etan with a salute and bow.
“Pleasure is mine.” I replied with a salute and nod of my head.
“We have investigated Andros. His party the Finders of Avalon specialize in retrieving lost items or stolen goods from thieves. It appears his party was specifically requested to recover a lost ventu volpis. We do not have any more details for the job other than this.” Etan stated as he read from a page in his hand.
“Who hired them to steal from me? Make no mistake, they were hired to steal from me!” I said as I was showing my anger and frustration.
“Normally, we would not disclose who posted job requests to those not apart of the contract. However, given the circumstances, I was instructed to tell you it was Viscountess Lady Ludmilla. It seems she contracted and paid a merchant from Xanadu for a ventu volpis. It is our understanding that merchant was placed on a Quenya trade ship where he will go on trial for his many crimes in Svarta. The Finders of Avalon should not have tried to take your ventu volpis. Nor should they have taken on the job given the crimes of the merchant without more information.” Etan explained what the guild knew.
“What will happen to Andros?” I asked frankly.
“The Guild Master will hold a hearing with S and an A ranked members who will advise on the issues. I expect he will be found guilty but will escape the ten year punishment. More like one to two years of labor for the guild doing low ranked jobs that no one wants while being supervised by myself or a C ranked or higher adventurer. His pay will be one third of normal with the rest going to repay the guild or costs associated with his lapse in judgment.” Etan replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
“I see. The thing that irks me is they attacked my people and wounded one of my guards with a slinger's stone.” I explained my outrage.
“I was not aware of this fact. Master Stewart will compensate you as the law requires. Unfortunately, Master Stewart left for Camelot for meeting with the war counsel on Astria's response to the Empire's latest invasion. I will send a filoxis to let Master Stewart know that there was injury, offense and honor requirements. I understand you will be traveling to Camelot and am certain Master Stewart will seek you out to give you a formal apology and see you are properly compensated.” Etan stated with a salute and bow.
“Good enough. Let me know the outcome of the hearing for Andros. I do not like loose ends and a potential enemy looking for revenge.” I said mater of factually.
“Understood. I will relay your concerns to Master Stewart. Etan replied with another salute and bow.
Leaving the adventure's guild, I decided to visit the tradesman's guild and merchant's storefront while Old Maude was still busy across the street. The girls came with me as they had been requesting things like combs, brushes and scented oils plus a few other special feminine items they needed.
Once all the girls got what they were needing and getting those items stowed with their baggage, Old Maude came back with a small crate filled with items to make medicines. While the baggage was being loaded and sorted, I went to see the information broker's desk and inquired about Chamberlain Robert Duffy. I paid the requested fee of one erythro given his status in the city. I was shown a file which listed the qualities, character and known habits of Robert. There was a section about vices and food preferences. The only vice was seeing a woman who was a widow listed as a paid mistress. Basically, Robert was a straight as an arrow honorable man. I smiled as the report made me feel better about who I was helping.
Finally, with everyone loaded up, we headed out of the city of Avalon over the southern main bridge and gate that was just like the north one but slightly longer with a guard tower protected draw bridge section to let ships pass. After about two hours, I had calmed down enough that I rode in the carriage as was expected of a person of rank. I just looked out seeing nothing but the vast wheat fields of the Capital Region realizing how lucky I had been to escape the evils of the ladies of Fortress Avalon.

I was born in a large city. My parents 21f and 24m were both university students when I was conceived, my mother was in 3rd year. I'm not sure what year my dad was in. I always get vague answers when I ask. My parents originally planned to become teachers after completing teachers college.
Instead they married largely due to family pressure early in the pregnancy. Immediately after that they backpacked around southern Europe and Morroco. They drank considerably and smoked Marijuana as often as they could. Their original intention was to teach English in Spain, but apparently changed their mind because of the hospital, cost seemed to be the main factor. They returned to our city with my father going back to school and eventually getting his teaching degree and his first teaching job when I was 3 or 4.
My mother seemed to resent having to care for an infant. During my childhood she would complain about the awful diapers and mixing formula, etc.
When I was approximately 2 -3 years-old I was diagnosed with cerebal palsy. Immediately after I was diagnosed my parents started trying to conceive another child. By the time my sister was 1 year old, my parents decided she wasn't as perfect as they thought she should be so they conceived my youngest sister.
My kindergarten teacher wanted me to repeat kindergarten because of my very poor motor skills mostly cutting and pasting but also my printing was very messy, which was mostly due to the tremors. I was intellectually able to do all of the work and I could already read. If had gone to senior kindergarten I would have been able to enter French immersion, which started the year after I entered school. Also I was the youngest child in my class because I was born late in the year. The French immersion schools were much better funded and had much better teachers and resources. I stayed in the original school which was one of the 2 worst schools in our region. My first grade teacher made me stand in front of the class to evaluate my reading, I was very shy and soft spoken, so I stammered slightly. From this alone she put me in the bottom reading group even though repeatedly showed her that I could read any book in the room. Standardized testing in 2nd grade showed that my reading and math skills were at 6th grade level. I know this because the guidance teacher showed my scores and explained what they meant when I was frustrated with the pace of the classroom and lack of mentally challenging work. My teachers would make me write things over and over because of the 'messiness'. This never worked and my printing would get worse because of fatigue and pain. I was bullied by most of the kids in my class because I was small, clumsy, physically weak, and somewhat odd looking, the fact that I was very smart also didn't help. My teacher wouldn't allow me to use the washroom when I needed it, since I had a bladder disorder related to my cerebal palsy, that meant I would sometimes wet myself. This only happened when I wasn't allowed to use the washroom when I needed to. This led to the other kids calling me diaper queen. Eventually I was exempted from most of my in class subjects and allowed to work independently in the library on whatever I desired. When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade my arm was badly sprained by a bully and I was prescribed a tensor bandage to support my hand and wrist. I noticed that my printing was better with it and I tried to keep using it. My mother found out and angrily took it away from even though I explained that it helped me. She would not listen and there was no explanation at all. She would send me to school no matter how sick I was, and would only let be at home when the school said I was too sick to be there. Our house never had a thermometer or bandaids or any other health related items, not even a hot water bottle or heating pad. When I was in 5th grade I developed a ganglion on the inside of my middle finger, it was very painful and made it even more difficult and painful to write. I saw a hand surgeon who said he could remove it easily and quickly. My parents, mostly my mother refused to allow me to have this surgery even though it would be completely paid for through our canadian health program.
Every few months we would visit family friends in the city each time before we went home my dad would go to a bank machine, except we always parked at the far edge of the parking lot and my dad would walk away and then be gone for 30 to 40 minutes. I realized later that he was buying amounts of Marijuana about a pound or two each. He and my mother would smoke it regularly, they I wasn't aware but I especially the air currents would waft the smell to my window.
Even though I asked repeatedly to be moved to a different school my parents made no efforts to do so. I could have been moved based on my disability and also my intellectual giftedness. I was not taken to a dentist until I was 8 years old. By this time I already decay in several of my teeth, partly because our water wasn't fluoridated. My dad could have added flouride to our well water for a very low cost, but was too cheap to do so. Another factor was I did not have a child size toothbrush so it made much more difficult to clean my teeth effectively.
My parents were home most of the time but spent very little time with their children. There was very little affection shown. I had very few clothes, with one or two items bought for back to school. And sometimes none since I was failure to thrive and grew very slowly. At Christmas my mother would buy the same toys for all 3 of us even though I was 4 1/2 and 7 older than my sisters. One year she bought all of us cabbage patch dolls, this was even though I had never had any interest in dolls or girly stuff. She did this again when the cabbage patch dolls came out.
My grandfather died when I was 9 years old, my grandmother remarried suddenly when I was 13. She lived with him in England for several months but then they moved back to town close to us. There were frequent family gatherings that included him. From almost the beginning he would find ways to trap me and sexually assault me by pushing me against a wall or into a corner he would then force his tongue into my mouth and rub his penis against me. He would also shove his hands into my pants... During my adolescence I was misdiagnosed with depression, when I actually post traumatic stress reaction because of the many things I'd dealt already, I was sent to a psychiatrist who didn't listen to me and wasn't competent, she kept prescribing different drugs when I didn't respond to them the way I 'should ' have. She put on lithium with no sign of bipolar disorder. I very developed severe lithium toxicity. She took me off it eventually. At some point she decided that since antidepressants weren't working it must because I was psychotic. She put on antipsychotics even though I repeatedly told I was not psychotic and I never was. She wound up convincing my parents to send to this inpatient program for adolescents with psychosis. I talked to the psychiatrist there once and he knew I had never been psychotic, he stopped my medication immediately and I was the only one there not on any medications and was not mentally ill at all. But I wound up spending 8 months there.
There were other things that went on with my family but this about as much as I can write right now. Am I wrong to distance myself from my family ? I feel little connection to them and they usually want to draw me into some drama that I don't want to deal with. tl;dr; childhood experiences, neglect

Edit to preface: I’m 32f husband 33m. We’ve been together 11 years and have three children together.
Gay guys have texted me casually asking about him (2x), I’ve seems gay guys message him, he’s friends on social media with random gay guys, and he’s super suspicious with his friends, something I used to think of as them being playful but now I’m not so sure.
He’s never been very attracted to me. Our sex feels uncomfortably theatrical. Like he’s only doing it to play a part or make a point. I’m an attractive woman and I know I’m good in bed, he doesn’t even touch my body… any of it with his hands. He goes down on me but only to get me in the mood. He seems entirely disengaged, barely kisses me and when he does it’s so uncomfortable I can tell he’s only doing it because I mentioned how I thought it was weird. When I asked why he doesn’t finger me he said because he doesn’t like to do that. I’m a very attractive and sexual woman, and the thought of my partner wanting me is a must for me. The thought of having sex with my gay husband for the sake of his deception feels pathetic so clearly not at all sexy.
The only time he got aggressive during sex was in the shower. Something he requested in the middle of watching Tom Brady’s Roast. He was urgent about that one. He didn’t even care that I wasn’t in the mood. He was aggressive and rough and I couldn’t quite get in the mood because I do believe he only got so fired up because cause he was watching other fit men. He’s always been athletic and super into his body and sports and the gym which means I quite literally married the cliche dickhead from high school but the worst one, the gay one.
I have nothing against gay people, just never wanted to be married to one seeing as how I’m a straight woman. I’ve given him three sons. My body hasn’t changed, I’m fit and curvy but not too curvy. Pretty face. Very attractive by almost all men’s standards. Except his. His enthusiasm towards me in non existent. He has no urgency for me or my body. Not only that but he has little to no urge to protect me. And I think he’s more jealous of me than over me when I get hit on by other men.
It’s all very bizarre and I resent the shit out of him for deceiving me like this and taking such a big part of my life and sexual experiences just to use it up for something as superficial as his sexuality, something that didn’t have to hurt anyone but it’s as if he just always accepted my personal anguish a necessary sacrifice he was willing to make. And aside from the obvious betrayal of infidelity and putting my health at risk, I’m a sexual person. I still feel inclined to be with a man physically but I won’t step out of my marriage to do so… but I’m not attracted to men who are attracted to men, nor am I attracted to men who are supposed to protect me and our children but instead put us all at risk for the sake of …. Sex. So I as a sexual woman have to be celibate or fk a gay man who betrays me daily?
Those options suck.

Has anyone else experienced the insane mismanagement of Cupertino Carwash?
I’ve since moved away from the Bay Area, so my experience is over a year old but I found myself thinking about it today and remember just how obviously scammy it was. I’m wondering if this place is still under the same management now, or if their bad behavior has caught up with them. So I was on my commute back from work, and badly needed a car wash. I spotted the (car wash) and got in line, then proceeded paying via debit card on the drive thru machine. As soon as a pull in (straight as an arrow) the wheel bracer things started wigging out and threw my car off balance. The car wash continued but it would not move my car forward at all. Not wanting to damage my car by pulling through the moving machinery, I back up all the way and parked at the shop to talk to management. This is where it got crazy!
Before I can say a word, this employee starts shrieking at me in broken English and pointing accusingly (she was Chinese I think, middle aged). I stammer out that the car wash broke, but she points up at the security TV (I guess she watched it all go down) and started saying I broke the car wash! I tried to explain that I followed every car wash protocol but the tracks basically bucked me off, so I didn’t even get a car wash, but it did still appear to work otherwise. She kept yelling at me saying I broke it. I got pissed and said I just wanted a refund since I got no car wash. She started gesturing at the countertop and I noticed it was FULL of receipts lined up, evidently those of past faulty car washes like mine? Not sure but there were at least 30. I kept requesting a simple refund (it was only $12) but she got more and more aggressive towards me, literally SCREAMING. I asked for a manager. She said “manager not in until Monday” (it was Thursday) while aggressively gesturing towards me over and over. I got flustered at this point and just walked away, taking the loss.
I went home feeling like maybe it was my fault, but then I hopped on google, and found SO many reviews of this place with the same exact story of mine! People would drive into the car wash, it would “break” and then when they asked for a refund she’d play the same game of “no YOU broke it! No refund!”. Many reviews said the manager was conveniently never in until “2-3 days later”. It seems like a sort of scam where they barely get enough money each time that no one bothers to question further and they get away with it. I left my own review but honestly it was only $12… I wouldn’t bother pushing the issue.
But I remembered it today and it still makes me mad, so I wanted to post here and see if anyone else has experienced this place? Are they still in business?

Welcome back once more, for our final discussion of Armadale. I apologize again for the discussion being late. Last week, my excuse was that I had to spend time with my sister's family, including a labradoodle. This week, I am dog-sitting my mother's beagle, who has separation anxiety and gas. I am horribly sleep-deprived because this dog insists on sleeping next to my bed every night, snoring loudly and farting. Speaking of people breathing in poison in their sleep, let's get to the recap:
Allan has just set off for the Adriatic, with his cash converted to gold, obviously the result of Manuel's suggestions. Lydia and Ozias have been transferred to Turin by Ozias's employer, and Lydia pretends to have gotten a letter from her mother, asking her to come home, so she has an excuse to go back to London. Once there, she checks the newspaper for any articles or obituaries indicating that Allan has died. She also finds Mother Oldershaw's new address, but decides not to visit her.
After a few days, she finally gets the news she's been hoping for. Allan's yacht sunk off the southern coast of Italy, and everyone on board perished. Her next step is to write to Bashwood:
My dearest Bashwood,
I desire you... I mean, I desire to *meet with you... to apologize for my previous behavior towards you. I have foolishly made the mistake of marrying an immature child. If only I had married a real man (realness not necessarily extending to his teeth and hair)!*
Please, do not show this letter to anyone. Let us meet clandestinely.
Sincerely,
Lydia Armadale (note the last name)
Lydia then considers the marriage certificate, and realizes a glaring flaw in her plan: Ozias's handwriting looks nothing like Allan's. In a panic, she decides that her only option is to get advice from Mother Oldershaw. Unfortunately, Mother Oldershaw appears to have found God, and no longer wants anything to do with Lydia's plans. (Of course, she refuses to give Lydia the signed paper that she was going to use to extort money from Lydia if her plans succeeded.)
While leaving Oldershaw's, Lydia runs into Dr. Downward... excuse me, Dr. Le Doux, totally legitimate sanitarium owner. She realizes that he may be able to advise her, and asks to meet him later at the sanitarium. The sanitarium is basically what you'd expect a 19th-century sanitarium to be: creepy old house with shelves containing jars of preserved "creatures," a "galvanic apparatus" for providing electric shocks, etc. No patients yet, though.
Lydia tells the doctor her story, leaving out the worst details (he doesn't know that she's the reason the yacht sunk, or that her husband goes by the fake name "Ozias Midwinter"). Downward agrees to assist her by claiming to be a witness to the marriage... for a fee of six hundred pounds. Lydia agrees, and he assists her in sending a letter to Thorpe Ambrose, claiming to be Allan's widow.
The next day, Lydia gets a visit from Bashwood, who delivers the news that Neelie is beside herself with grief, and Mr. Darch is handling the matter of the inheritance, which was going to go to Allan's cousin, before Lydia announced her claim.
Bashwood returns a few days later with a shocking letter from Yugoslavia: Allan is alive! This is where I'd normally try to write a funny version of the letter, but nothing I could possibly write would be funnier than the actual letter's opening line: "I have been the victim of a rascally attempt at robbery and murder." Yes, "rascally." Oh, Allan, never change. One of the would-be murderers took pity on Allan and didn't securely board up his cabin, so he was able to escape instead of sinking with the yacht.
Lydia turns to Downward for help.
Downward: What if we trap Allan in the sanitarium?
Lydia: And murder him?
Downward: WTF, no. We get him to agree to not press legal charges against us.
Lydia: And then we murder him?
Downward: I have so many regrets about teaming up with you
Lydia: How do we catch him?
Downward: You could get Bashwood to lurk around the train station and intercept him before anyone else sees him. Have him tell Allan that Miss Milroy was sent here because she was driven insane by her grief for him.
Lydia: Can we murder Allan and Miss Milroy?
Downward: I am running an unlicensed sanitarium under a false name, and even I think you're unhinged.
Lydia: Gwilty as charged
Downward: But wait, what if he doesn't agree immediately, and we have to keep him here for months? What if I have actual patients at the time, and they report us?
Lydia: What if...
Downward: ...please don't say "murder"
Lydia: ...what if he had an accident?
Downward: Oh. Well, if it was an "accident," that would be okay. I don't know how an accident could happen, though, if you aren't an inmate here.
Lydia: I'll think about it
Meanwhile, Bashwood keeps vigil at the train station, until one day he sees... Ozias, who is searching for Lydia because she's stopped writing to him. While they talk to each other, Bashwood can't contain his shock at hearing that Lydia is Ozias's wife, and accidentally calls her "Mrs. Armadale," which understandably makes Ozias suspicious, so he follows Bashwood to see where he goes, which of course leads him straight to Lydia. Lydia pretends she was never married to Ozias, and Ozias faints from the shock.
Lydia heads straight to the sanitarium, tells Downward she's going to be an inmate, and asks for a sleeping draught. Downward prepares the draught, but first places yellow liquid in a purple flask. He then informs Lydia of what he thinks they should say at the inquest after Allan dies: The two of them knew he hadn't drowned, but when he arrived in England, they decided to trap him in the sanitarium because, shortly after his marriage to Lydia, Allan had starting having a delusion that he was engaged to Neelie. Once in the sanitarium, Downward diagnosed Allan with an incurable and fatal brain ailment, and that's what killed him.
Downward has scheduled a "Visitors' Day" so that people will witness Lydia as an inmate in the asylum. The visitors are mostly women, because life as a woman in Victorian England was so boring, they had nothing better to do than go to sanitariums to gawk at the mentally ill people and see where they will eventually live when the hysteria finally drives them mad. (I am only barely paraphrasing. The actual quote is "In the miserable monotony of the lives led by a large section of the middle classes of England, anything is welcome to the women which offers them any sort of harmless refuge from the established tyranny of the principle that all human happiness begins and ends at home.")
Downward shows them around the sanitarium and explains how it will be run, including only allowing novels that make people feel comfortable. (I assumed this was an intentional satire of Wilkie's critics, and the notes in the Oxford World's Classics edition confirmed this.)
But then Downward gave a sales pitch that damn near sold me on his sanitarium. "I throw up impregnable moral intrenchments between Worry and You. ... Will ten minutes’ irritation from a barking dog or a screeching child undo every atom of good done to a nervous sufferer by a month’s medical treatment? There isn’t a competent doctor in England who will venture to deny it!" Considering I almost couldn't post last week's discussion because of a few hours' exposure to two loud children and a labradoodle, I'm about ready to self-diagnose with hysteria and deranged lunacy.
He also explains that while the bedrooms lack fireplaces, they're heated with hot water. This impressed me because I've read about Victorian insane asylums not having fireplaces in the bedrooms (since the inmates might burn themselves), but I always assumed this meant that the inmates were cold in the winter. But wait... the bedroom also has secret controls that let him open, close, and lock the window and door from the outside, and a vent that lets him pump gas into the room. Whaaat? I rescind my diagnosis of hysteria and deranged lunacy. I want nothing to do with this.
After the tour is finished, Downward demonstrates to Lydia how to prepare the poison, and then breaks the bottle so that his assistant (who doesn't know about the purple flask) will think there's no more of that chemical in the house.
Meanwhile, Ozias is stalking Bashwood at the train station. He thinks Lydia is cheating on him, and Bashwood is waiting for Lydia's lover. But then he sees Bashwood with Allan. After confronting the two of them, he learns Bashwood's story about having to take Allan to Neelie in the sanitarium. Realizing that Lydia is probably still behind Bashwood's actions, Ozias insists on going with the two of them. On arriving at the sanitarium, Allan is informed that Neelie cannot see him until the morning, but he and Ozias are welcome to spend the night: Allan in Room Four, and Ozias in Room Three.
Lydia sets Bashwood up to spy on Allan's door from a room with a grate in its door. She tells him to make sure Allan stays in his room all night. Later, watching from the grate, Bashwood observes Ozias leave his room and examine the fumigating apparatus connected to Allan's room. Then Ozias stuffs his handkerchief in the grate, blocking Bashwood's view, before going into Allan's room and convincing Allan to switch rooms with him.
Later that night, Lydia returns and asks Bashwood if anything happened. Too afraid to tell her about the handkerchief, he tells her nothing happened, and she dismisses him to bed. After almost convincing herself to not go through with it, she then starts the process of pouring the poison at five minute intervals. While waiting for one of the intervals to pass, she notices Ozias's handkerchief and realizes that Bashwood lied to her. She checks in Room Three, and finds Allan asleep where Ozias should be.
In a panic, Lydia rushes into Room Four and drags the unconscious Ozias out. She then continues to pour the poison, writes a last letter to Ozias, and locks herself in the room.
We end with an epilogue that rapidly ties up all the random loose ends. Lydia has been buried in a nearly unmarked grave. The doctor is apparently still running his sanitarium. Allan and Neelie will be married in the spring. Mrs. Milroy doesn't have much longer to live, but she's undergone a personality change for some reason and she and the Major are happy for once. Ozias is recovering and living with Allan. Mother Oldershaw is a religious speaker, apparently. Bashwood has gone insane. Manuel drowned.
But wait, one last thing: Wilkie has something to say to us. He wants us to know that he intended the dream to be left up to interpretation. Thanks for handing me a discussion question like that, Wilkie. He also shares a weird-ass story about how, after he'd finished the rough draft and while the story was in the middle of serialization, several people were poisoned in their sleep on a boat called The Armadale. Okay, Wilkie. Thank you for that incredibly weird anecdote.