Cute nicknames for your boyfriend daltonute nicknames for your boyfriend dalton

My best friend and I have known each other since freshman year of college, so like 5 years now. We are super tight, she’s the funniest person I know and we’re like ride-or-dies.
Her and her boyfriend have been dating for 1.5 years now (I think), and I’ve met him more than a few times. He’s cool! But I am not into him like that.
I was in a LTR for 2 years but recently broke up, so I’m single again. I went out with my best friend (i.e. Jessie), her boyfriend (i.e Sean), and a couple other of our mutual friends (both girls). I was visiting them in Chicago for the weekend by the way, but I don’t live there.
Throughout the entire night, Sean would single me out to ask me things, or try to dance with me. For example, he would say “Hey, Salmonpaddy, what’s the tattoo on your back mean?” or “I like your outfit, Salmonpaddy” (which was a tight cropped tube top and baggy jeans lol).
Eventually he pulled me to dance with him, in front of my best friend, and I just danced super rigidly. Or he would grab my hand. And he knows I play some video games, so every time I see him he asks me to play video games with him, to set up a date/time to play together, the two of us.
He made me pinky promise that we would play Fortnite together this Wednesday at a specific time, he said he’ll buy me skins. I’m like. Bro😐. And he only talks about this stuff when she’s not around! So I asked if it’s possible to play with three people, since we should play with Jessie too, and he seemed awkward after that and switched topics.
Jessie went to the bathroom with a friend of mine, and I was with my drunk friend making sure she was good, and Sean. Sean starts talking to me again, and asks me in a teasing way, “So when are you gonna move to Chicago?” I replied that I have no plans to move to Chicago, and said I am actually going to move to NYC soon. He seemed shocked and asked how soon, I said a couple weeks, and he said “No, Salmonpaddy you just broke my heart! Don’t go that far! I’m barely gonna see you!” I said we don’t even see each other that often right now (like once every few months) and that I’ll see him and Jessie the same amount still! He was unsatisfied with that, and buckled down on trying to find ways to spend time with me. He said we should play games together, start a podcast, make a song together (I make music). Half of this stuff he repeated throughout the night, directly in front of Jessie, and it started to piss me off because he should be pouring that energy into her, not me, and I just felt bad that she just had to watch him constantly try to make plans with me or dance with me.
One more thing that made me skeptical is how he tried to disrupt men talking to me. I had quite a few men come up to me, and I spoke with one of them for a slightly longer time. Harmless conversation, the guy was cute though and I gave him a small peck on the cheek as I rejected his advance to dance with me. Yeah, mixed signals, but I’m dealing with my own stuff at the moment. Lol.
Anyways, Sean suddenly taps me and waves me to come talk to him, in like an urgent way. I asked him what was up, I thought maybe we were leaving, and instead he says “Are you into that guy??” and I said uhhh, I mean yeah I was talking to him but nothing serious. He apologized and said I could go back and talk to him, and I just laughed uncomfortably and went to go dance with Jessie instead.
Point is, Jessie is head over heels in love with Sean, yet I really don’t feel like he is being loyal to her in this way. I think he’s a cool person, but she’s my best friend before anything else and his behaviour as her boyfriend is giving me the ick.
How do I approach this situation?
TL;DR: I think my BFF’s boyfriend is into me and I don’t know how/if I should address it. She loves him so much but I feel like he is not as loyal as he should be, and I feel like he is lowkey hitting on me.

You ma'am were my everything, from the moment I first saw you walking to my tow truck. I was in aww of you in that moment I was so hooked I can't explain it in any other way. I just needed to get to know the real you. Looking back I wish I could have slowed everything down a lot because we moved so fast. Opened the door for you and got you up into the truck. At first she was impressed I even would do that for her. She said it made her feel special and no one had ever done that for her. As I walked back to my door to get in time for me started to slow as I thought about a million things at once I was so drawn to her wanted everything for her and me to be amazing and guys, it really was great from my seat. She's absolutely gorgeous, sweet yet she's a pretty bad ass chick though. She's into heavy metal and rock over anything. She's my only ginger I've ever dated in my life. She's so beautiful, selfless when she knows u need something she is the first one to get it for you and she's an amazing cook, So incredibly sexy, and no matter what she broken and all was the only woman that I ever bought a real ring for wherever would and that red hair gets me now every time I find one around in my truck or my house. She loves to play with it as her nervous habit I used to say she was marking her territory jokingly but I loved watching her do it I love watching her play with it It was awesome to just be able to look over at her and see her sitting there was the greatest feeling in my life next to having my children and watching them be born. Seeing her smile was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen in my life That's what I lived for I lived for being silly with her and joking around and just having a good fucking time and spending that time with her no matter how much it was. I loved it always. Even when we fought I didn't ever stop loving her I did never stop caring about her obviously I was in it for us. Call me a wuss whatever you want I don't care I honestly have a thing with other people's hair it grosses me out when it is off the body so I'd have these piles of hair is have to immediately get out of the floor of my work truck when id open it for her to get her out of the truck lol it grossed me out but I didn't really care it was more funny that she was nervous cus we were so chill together. I quickly fell for this girl front the start and she was exactly what I said in the title. She's always going to be my blue little sundress passenger seat princess, the only women I've ever actually seen, planned, or dreamed of a future with and I've had longer relationship with kids even. But she has two sweet little girls that are amazing as well and I have become attatched to them as well throughout this 3 years. Especially because when her and I first met and went on our date I knew already that she was a mom of two but I hadn't met either one of them yet. Days after she was still with me and we spent every waking moment together in that truck. And we had a great time It just felt right. After that weekend was over we went to pick up her 3-month-old daughter. We had to go to the next town over and get her from her dad's house. As I got this little girl up into my truck put her car seat in the back of the tow truck I did what any normal person would do when meeting a baby for the first time. Started talking to her just to see her reaction to me. She was so sweet and so damn cute. She smiled so beautifully and was just so amazing it brought back all the memories for me having my kids. And that one really just cemented in the fact that I wanted to do this so much for my girl and I and for these kids cuz they were amazing. I spent my days just working away. Most the time with her by my side. There was times where yes we were not together 100% there's things she had to go do. Which was fine That's what we needed some time apart to miss each other cuz we did spend a lot of time together but honestly As long as we were there in my truck we were amazing together just hanging out while I was working spending time together and she said she loved watching me work. She loved how manly I smelled after and during a days work. Everything was great. So before her and I met I was always working and keeping to myself just trying to focus on myself but I lived in a hotel. So since her and I got hooked up together, we lived in my hotel which was not bad at all it was a fairly big hotel that offered reduced rates for long extended stays and they offered me a corporate discount. So it was fairly inexpensive as far as paying for the place but it was still extremely expensive compared to renting someplace. But it was by my own money because she had no income no job that I paid for everything. Literally everything. So as I worked 7 days a week and worked from time outta bed in the morning until well after midnight. I had no time to find our own place for cheaper living to start new direction for us. So she started searching for our own place to rent. Let's say we got distracted from that because of this damn drama that seemed to always be happening with her life. I'd always listen to what was going on with her and try to help. It's what I do in my everyday life I jump out of a truck when people are at their worst and it makes me feel a sense of joy because I get to get out of the damn truck like Superman get over to them and calm their life down a little bit slow it down for them when they're in their worst moments of the day and just take that weight off their shoulders. I get that fulfillment for my life that joy and it drives me to keep going That's the only reason I push through my days. I lived for it, soon after meeting her she became a big part of that meaning for me so much so I never even realized that it would end up costing me my career because I just couldn't do it anymore getting in that truck And as I open the door I see her there in the passenger seat with a flooded memory that comes rushing in and I get happy really quick like it's all real again and as soon as I sit down take my guys off that seat I look back over when it close the door cuz I'd always smile back at her when I got in the truck and she's not there and it breaks my heart every single time I experienced this so imagine getting in and out of that truck every day all day long and having to do that. I've been such an emotional wreck now that I literally had to go to my boss and quit my job because I couldn't safely do it and this was the job ladies and gentlemen that I prayed for at the end of our relationship I wasn't working hadn't been working for a few months because I just found out that I got cancer in my throat. So I got depressed I didn't know how to tell her my mom anybody being only 37 years old that I'm not going to be here that long Not as long as I thought so it started to destroy me and by this time in our relationship two and a half years in we had had several moves several little breakups but we'd always come back together and we always seemed great afterwards but then it always seemed like something would come up or she would lie or do something that I didn't like or that I wasn't approving of and every time I tried to talk to her about it she would just blow up at me and yeah there was lots of red flags I missed her out of a relationship I wish I could have done so many things different but stress and being what it is and everything you know I let my emotions get the best of me I let my my everything get the best of me every single time because as soon as she starts yelling it makes me louder and I just don't see anybody giving me that kind of a disrespectful stance especially when I'm trying to be calm I'm trying to just talk to them about it and then they blow up and makes me want to blow up right back So yeah my mistake but are honestly feel like it was just to cause me to do that so she could break up or we can break up and she can run away for a couple days and go get what she needed somewhere else and then come right back. That's what I feel like now. Don't know if it was all lie from delusional or what but everything I've read on here it all speaks to me so much that I honestly I really feel like I was lied to the entire time I was made to believe something that was never true This girl told me she loved me like 3 months in and I honestly felt it before that but I really think it was all just a facade now for her We found each other and we were broken pieces everywhere we started putting our lives together picking everything up putting ourselves back together and we felt more complete than anything is the way I saw our lives up until a year and a half into it though it was for me even with the little small breakups and stuff it was amazing It wouldn't trade it for the world soon as I found out I had cancer though guys It broke me I wasn't working I wasn't doing anything for myself and yeah that I regret I regret not just telling her right away because looking back now it may have helped but I doubt she would even cared She probably would have broke up with me then is how I feel now. But I never told her until almost 3 weeks after we broke up. The 17th of this month was my birthday my 38th birthday The day after is her 3-year-olds 3-year birthday. Which I didn't get to go to even though that little girl calls me dada loves me like there's no tomorrow and I love that little girl so so much she was like she was my daughter shortly after I found out I had cancer I was taking care of that little girl not working but taking care of her all day everyday for months in my house with her living here and my girlfriend living here while she worked. Then she's sitting here telling me griping at me that I need to get back working by about she can't be the only one working but then if I did that we wouldn't had a babysitter We would have nowhere for "Our daughter" She always insisted when I would say her daughter because she has a lot of hateful feelings towards her baby daddy. The other thing I forgot to mention is the fact that about 2 years into our relationship she went through a pretty major surgery for herself No one was there for her except for me I sat with her through the whole thing waited for her at the hospital I waited on her hand and foot at my place of living She laid in my bed took care of her gave her everything she needed and would do it again in a heartbeat The point is that I was there stood by her side took care of her in every way I needed to every way I could. In the first part of our relationship all the way through I'd say the first half She was always constantly wondering if I had eaten today or if I needed food or if I wanted her to cook me anything or I mean would she selflessly would do every single time she was happy to do it She loved doing it She loved being at the hotel and me coming home to a cooked meal how she would do it in her bra and underwear because just for shits and giggles you know She was the most sexually appetizing person I've been in with in my entire life number one and from day one of our relationship I never saw any other female on this planet My eyes never strayed not once they only saw her She was my everything. Fellas tell me when you fell in love If you ever felt the same because I know for me there was another woman on this planet that could ever even have compared to my woman she was so sexy so incredibly just mesmerizing for me and having her in my arms I felt complete I felt like a man I felt like I would move to heaven and earth for this woman and I was trying doing everything I could and it always just seemed like our little stupid spats and our bickering was so much more to her than it was to me because she would always end up leaving and going to her sisters. Her sister was and is so incredibly damaging for her mental state that I'm surprised that this woman has not killed herself yet She has no movement in her own life she's a stay-at-home girlfriend for her boyfriend of 16 15 16 years something like that and she is about a cow about 300 lb heifer that has always been jealous of anything the little sister gets that makes her happy that makes her have a better life than what big sister has then big sister has to sit there and destroy little sisters mental state just to bring her back down so she can feel good about her own self So anytime she ever went back there that's exactly what happened Big sister would just tear her down and break her down and it's just sick and that's where I think first mistake for us ever went was allowing her to move in there because as soon as she did seem like everything started going downhill and that's when I started finding things out about how much she was actually lying to me about stupid silly little things because her brother in-law and sister would talk to her about our relationship at night when they're all home together or whenever and they'd be giving her advice when these two are alcoholics they will not ever get married even though they've been together forever but this is just to not lose social security crap it's ridiculous there's a real fear of commitment between the two and a lot of damage between the two and it just fed right into my woman's head and I'm really truly believe it loud it her to be severely poisoned cuz she started turning into a completely different person but yet I still loved her like the day I first met her I still looked at her exactly the same I still do to this day even though she won't have anything to do with me for whatever reason I don't know I never got a reason but after everything we've been through I honestly felt like every time she made me promise never to leave her every time she made me the promise that she would never leave me no matter what blah blah blah I feel like it was all just a game to her now and a game to her family because my woman was the child that was traded off when things got too stressful for Mom she was the kid that was sent to the hospital to you know being the mental ward because it was just too tough for Mom to cope with having two kids and being as destroyed of a person as she is So of course that's led to a lot of emotional damages for my woman and for that entire family It's led to alcoholism and the other side of the family with her sister and her mom being best friends they hang out all day long and it's about the worst family situation you could think of but sadly she will still choose her family over anybody at the end of the day even though they don't choose her like that It breaks my heart to watch honestly the best thing she could do is cut them off from her life but there is a lot of times that she needed them there because she had no other option is what she felt instead of when we fought going there honestly alsoever wanted her to do is just calm down and instead of leaving stay here choose me over that bullshit fight choose me over the fucking nonsense of everything because at the end of the day none of it mattered to me I always forgave her for everything not because I wanted to be the doormat or because I allowed myself to be the doormat but because when I grew up I grew up in a Christian family That's what we do if we fight we work shit through I may not be the best Christian in the world but I know the values that I have in my family were not the same as hers they traded her off when times got tough they never showed her unconditional love so she doesn't even know how to unconditionally love her own children and it's really sad cuz honestly to this day I feel like that little girl would choose me over her own mother and that breaks my heart for her. I realize I've been rambling on for a while now but this one really doesn't sit right with me guys I've never had any issues with any breakup since this one and I know the mental state she was in when she made it and made this choice but the way she did it just recently after having promised her yet again and her promising me that we would never leave each other and to always fight for the relationship. She comes over about a 3 weeks ago we have sex been seen each other in a few days few days prior to that we went and took "our daughter" to her dentist appointment she had to be knocked out at and did great through who'd she want afterwards after she woke up me Not her mom just me to comfort her. So being the dad that I am of course I did that I gave her the comfort she needed we had a great day together but it was short-lived. My girl's been in such a bad spot mentally but she refused to talk to me about it I could never get her to open up and yes I did a lot of things wrong because I was always trying to fix her or trying to help her through it is how I see it She saw it as me trying to fix her and she said I don't need to be fixed. But I know I didn't see it that way and that may have been my mistake because she wasn't looking for advice or whatever on how to try to help her through it but she just wanted somebody to listen to her which I did I can repeat everything she's ever told me about an issue word for word I can almost predict in my head I can sit there and say okay what's she going to say. And then I can literally as she's saying it out loud I can pretty well determine already know what she's going to say while listening though just to make sure I don't miss anything It ends up being the same thing every time and it's always all about her family's issues and things going on between them. It's been this way for the last year and a half probably since she moved in there now just before this breakup she had been for a couple months looking for place for us to go cuz I want out of where I'm at now and she obviously wanted out of there and so she was supposedly looking for it for a place to go That was ours because I got a new job I sat here and prayed for a new job that I had applied for and they just weren't moving fast enough or something I guess because like 4 days before she broke up with me they called and I started working I was so happy I got back in that truck I was doing it for her for us for me for those girls everything was going the way I had invisioned it going. Then like I said two days go by she came over spend some time together We had a little quickie and then we went to her appointment with the psych doctor couple days later she breaks up with me This is how I wake up the next morning after being at work all night long in my tow truck to a text message and I'm blocked on everything every single social media outlet every everything that we had together online I'm just blocked. Knowing the mental state she was in I was like what the hell is going on now I got a short text message that said something like I can't do this anymore This is after going through her girl parts being taken out being with her the entire time waiting on her hand and foot this is after saving her daughter because her drunk ass sister drove home from their mothers house while watching the like 5-month-old baby at the time and ran the car into the fucking house in the middle of the night and we were both working shoot while she was watching her That's why she was watching her So of course I get a phone call she can't leave work and she's freaking out because her daughter was just in the car that just slammed into the house and did thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars worth of damage So what happens This guy goes and rescues the child and keeps the child with him the entire rest of my work night until mom gets off work there's lots of reasons that this woman has loved me completely and tried so hard and there's lots of reasons why I've loved her as completely as I could and tried so hard and tried getting back on track now I used her in those kids and myself to get me back to a point where I could even start to function again after finding out I had cancer and not knowing how to tell her or anybody and what hurts the most is the fact that she just gave up and just blindsided me with all of this if I feel like and it kills me but this is what I had to do because of her putting all her walls up and just stonewalling me with everything and knowing the fact that even on her Facebook she chose to not put family photos of us for up there but to put every other photo of that entire time together on there even ones that she had taken separately with just her and her girls making it look like nobody else was there the entire time She just failed to include the you know few pictures she took all of us. Which are now deleted off her phone obviously cuz she deleted everything of us together She always does that She always does it just deletes them because she never had any good memories as a child so she has an inability to just keep that stuff because it's painful to her now for some reason even if it was a happy memory She doesn't like those happy memories cuz those are painful that they're not going to happen anymore so she just erases everything and gets rid of it because it's easier for her while I'm not that type of person I'm a sentimental person I keep everything So of course when she goes gets her mind off track whatever I start to be sweet and send her you know our pictures together and things because I know she's already done deleted them which gets her nine times out of 10 and gets her right back to where she needs to be and realizing that I'm there for her that I I want her I choose her and I choose to do this together well not this time She completely stonewalled me wouldn't even respond to me for days and it was literally out of the blue So I'm freaking out because I'm thinking she's going to go hurt herself which she's tried to do a few times and she just reapped on all her medication the last time she tried to hurt herself that's what had happened She took all of her medication and thank God nothing happened but now she had you know six new bottles of pills which would have done it so I was scared for her life honestly. So I was literally just freaking out day after day night after night and all while having to work at night now with this new job in the truck that I was freaking out because I couldn't see her in my passenger seat anymore and then I was seeing her and then I was worrying about her and I was concentrating more on her than I was even able to do my job like I said I had to give it up even though I sat there and prayed for her prayed for myself to pray to get the job and it was literally a blessing because they created the position for me they didn't need to fill a position they created it for me I've been doing this job for well over 10 years of my career and I'm damn good at it Just not right now and so for the last month after everything that I found out everything that it's been said This is what I had to do guys and I I can't regret it I can't feel any type of way about it but I've been pushing and pushing and pushing on purpose because I know she's not coming back no matter what That's the way she feels but once I stop trying to fight for the relationship to fight for her and fight for those kids I know she's going to start to feel the feelings of losing me and it's going to start getting into her head so I knew if I stopped talking to her that's what would happen and she would try to slide right back into my life a month later whenever however it would happen she would come back eventually and I'm not going to be in a new place in my life where I would allow her to do that I can't So what I did was I pushed on purpose not only because she made me promise to do it but because I knew it's what needed to happen because I needed my mental state to be better and it's not right now I'm a wreck right now because of this woman because of losing this woman cuz I honestly felt like she's the one person on this planet that I would never let go. So my life is just turned into a fucking wreck on a wreck on a wreck because of her vindictive nature her mean-spirited bullshit when she gets mad She doesn't not have a filter so she uses her daughter against me how's it feel no that you'll never see "her daughter" ever again trying to dig into my heart and just cause more pain This is the type of stuff she would say to me That would just break me down to nothing. I've literally been in tears since the breakup and before that because I I think I kind of knew it was coming but I was just so depressed that I couldn't do anything I would cry every night even a month before we were broken up I would cry every night just cuz I missed her I missed her being next to me but that was her own fault that was her own doing She lied put words in my roommate's mouth that were never there and she couldn't apologize She could not be an adult and apologize to him and then it would have been fine She would have been a loud back at the house She would been able to come see me but she just is not the adult that I thought she was or that she used to be before when we first got together and and I don't understand what happened I can't see where it all just went so terribly wrong except for her moving in with her family. It has been the greatest experience of my life loving this woman but at the same time in the end it has been so destructive so I had to make sure that she would never come back So for the last month I've been pestering her coming at her yelling at her calling her all these names in the book and just destroying anything she ever had for me because I won't let her back into my life I can't cuz I know if I do it will be the death of me so I'm choosing me over the love of my life. The woman that I have lived for for this past three fucking years of my life given everything to worked my ass off so I could fucking just keep going the next day to provide what I could for us as a family mind you have paid for everything every waking moment for the first year and a half of our lives because she didn't have a job She didn't work so I paid for everything and that's everything we needed for the baby as well. That couldn't get bought with food stamps. Literally drained every bit of funds that I had saved up everything Just took me for a rollercoaster ride through hell but I chose me I choose me now And hopefully the apartment that she was finding for us the one that she supposedly went to Once she supposedly is at now I hope her I wish her all the best but I had to sit here and destroy any chances of ever being with the woman that I still to this day want because I know she comes back crawling back I knew that I would take her back in a heartbeat and I just can't do it so I had to get it done and over with for me for her for everybody because I won't be hurt like that I won't be disrespected like that I won't be turned into a monster because she tears me down with her hateful little remarks and digs into my heart that are totally unnecessary when I'm being everything I can try to be and be sweet for her She literally anytime I would try to be sweet would turn it into something it's not telling me I'm manipulating her telling me I'm doing this I'm doing that well okay so that's what I'll do That's what I thought and that's exactly what I did If I'm the monster let me know cuz I feel like it honestly but I know it's for the best. To my little blue sundress princess, the love of my life I'm Sorry I had to do what I did sweetheart I'll always love you no matter what babe Just can't have you walk back into my life and and destroy everything that I build from here on out because I'll end up killing myself and I don't want that to happen so this is goodbye even though I know you'll never read this. Just know that I see you everywhere in every place I go there's memories that fled back to me everyday that are amazing or that are bad or that are just that their memories they will fade eventually hopefully but for now they are still too real for me to just forget like seems like you want to do by going out there and supposedly live in your best life faking it just to make it for the rest of the world being that strong independent woman with that attitude exactly even though I know you're sad inside I know you just buried those feelings All the love you had for me and you're lying to yourself but that's on you now I tried I really really tried to get you to understand that that's where we were headed was the life we wanted so sorry I asked you to choose me and love me for me instead of love me for what I had or didn't have. I'm sorry I needed to do this or even felt like I needed to do this cuz I will always love you no matter what, But now my life is going to be for me and for me only for its remainder because you gave up the fight and I ended it.

So, I've watched the AITA videos on YouTube all the time, so I thought I would bring a couple of my stories here. (This is a long one, so bear with me.) I tried to post this on another aita page but there were too many rules. I'm sure everyone else has a more interesting story than me. also new here don't know how the app works. so chill on me.
I (19, female) recently moved out of my apartment so I could save for a better one. So, I recently went back to my moms for a bit (40, female) with her husband (35, male). Before I even thought about coming back home, my mom always told me, "Come back home. You can have the room back. Nobody helps me with the dog or clean. We missed you so much; I've been depressed since you've been gone."
Now, before I get to the story, let me give you some background on my (16, female) sister. I'll give her a fake name. Let's call her Nya. My mom would complain about how my sister (27 female), who has custody of my sister, uses my sister's taxes for herself and my niece, and Nya never gets anything. Now, I understand her frustration, but she's a hypocrite. She asked my dad's wife if she could claim me last year. Mind you, I was 18, and if Shes complaining that my sister should've gotten her taxes, then mine should've gone to me, all $5,000 of it, but I didn't trip about it at first. Well, she got me furniture with the taxes after I told her I did not want or need any furniture in my room, so I had stuff I didn't even want when I already had stuff. She told me, "When you move, you can take it." Well, I moved to my boyfriend's mom's house for a couple of months and then got my own apartment. I went to ask if I could get my furniture, and she's going to say, "Oh. Nya sleeps in here when she visits on weekends, and it's set up to be her room." she could've kept my old furniture in storage if she was going to play in my face like that. Nya only visits 8 times out of the whole month unless it's a holiday, no school, or half a day. She could've given me my furniture. I was laying on an old mattress that came from my boyfriend's moms place and it hurt our backs. I was paying so much for rent and just to live that I couldn't afford to get a new one. I really hated Nya because she knew what she was doing. On my birthday, she got gifted more things than I did because she had an attitude. But when it was hers, I didn't get NOTHING. Imagine someone else getting more gifts than you on your own birthday. They had me pierce my own nose at 15, but Nya professionally got hers done. My nose closed up, and we've done this about 6 times, but they got her pierced twice on both sides her nose. When she'd come over, if they'd go out, she'd always ask for something, and if she didn't get her way, she wouldn't speak with my mother or her husband. Almost every time I see her, she has something new that my mom got her. She comes over and uses my mom; she doesn't even hang out with my mom when she's here unless they go out. She hides in the room. And ironically, every time I leave stuff around her, it goes missing. She would steal stuff from my mom too, and the whole time, it would be something of mine that my mom was holding onto for me. Over $300 worth of stuff she's stolen or got CAUGHT stealing. She's able to call my mom a (b word), but I was told, "You can cuss; just don't ever call me a (b word)." Like my sister basically owns her at this point. You might've already seen where this was going.
My mom called me the day I was packing, which was literally Tuesday. It's been no more than 4-5 days, and it's already been so much drama. She had an attitude like she was surprised I was coming back, but me and her spoke several times the month before about it. She swore up, down, left, and right that it was okay. Silly me for thinking my mother, of all people, could be relied on. Well, she picks me up and complains how I had too many bags (it was 5 black bags and like 5 tiny grocery bags. My boyfriend had most of the other stuff, including big furniture that he was taking with his mom because she has a house. my mom has an apartment). I'm not surprised she was complaining; it's all she does. She said she didn't know what to do with the room yet because she "didn't want to pick favorites." The craziest part was Nya herself said I can stay in here and remember that its important.
She waited till about 9 o'clock PM to tell me that I could sleep in there. Now I had several bags, and they would've cried if they were all in the living room, so I took them in the room, but by now, you can probably tell nothing pleases them. A1 complainers. Well, everything was fine at first until my older sister texted me Friday night and said, 'Mom and Nya don't know how to tell you ONCE AGAIN that they don't want you in that room. I'm not trying to start drama; I just want you to know they said you moved Nya's stuff and threw it on the floor.' This did, however, create drama. Also, what does she mean by 'AGAIN'? And I didn't throw a THING on that floor. My sister literally didn't sleep the whole time because she was so ever so sick that I was in here relaxing with my man who came to visit. So, I did text my mom how I felt, and I told her about how she gets everything, but she wants to say 'bull they say you were the princess' when I was like freaking 5, yeah. What have you really done but make me feel less than the other? So comes morning, and her husband came banging on the door telling me to unlock it (the door was already unlocked. Get a load of this guy.), and I'm GROWN; this man really came at me sideways talking about 'get the f in the living room.' Mind you, I have a past with anxiety; I will faint, and they know this. I don't like arguing. I said, 'No, I'm leaving.' Now I didn't know where I was going to go yet because my boyfriend's mom has all 6 of her kids in the house right now with no space. So I had to call my Poppop the WHOLE time my stepfather would not shut up. (Ohh, brother, this guy stinks.) My mom wouldn't stop screaming, and I got stressed and screamed to just stop, and I started crying because of course, I have anxiety and I'm overwhelmed because its 3 people yelling over something they said i could do. My chest was tight, and I was shaking. Then my mom really had the audacity to tell Nya, 'She don't want u in here because she said u stole.' I told my mom to keep that private. My sister was stealing my underwear, and I told her (funny because I literally JUST bought her some clothes and underwear). I asked her to keep it between us. Oh boy, I won't tell her NOTHING again. I forgot she got a fat mouth. Anyways, I called my grandpa, and I'm his baby, so how could he ever say no? He's the only one that ever cares for me anymore. I felt bad because my mom started crying, so I said, 'I'll be back tomorrow it's ok.' Stupid, I know. Because she didn't care when I was crying and using the inhaler trying to get air.
And might I add, my sister said 'no what did I steal. She can come say it to my face.' I wanted to knock her socks off. She literally left to go to a friend's because I was in the room after she said I could be in there. That should tell you she didn't come to hang out with mom. Everything about her makes me mad. She does stuff that I do, and she thinks I don't notice. She took my style, even my personality, and my interests. Like I'm a hello kitty girl. I wear hello kitty pants, Kuromi bookbags, and just hello kitty anything including my decor. And I paint so I have hello kitty paintings (I'm good at it too), and she happened to all of a sudden like it too. My hairstyles are unique; I do my own thing. She tries to do her hair like mine. All the TV shows and YouTubers I watch, she started all of a sudden liking. At first, it was cute; I thought she looked up to me. Until I realized she's just trying to BE ME, and she doesn't even like me. Anyways, I went to my Poppop and my Nanas, and my mom tried to guilt trip me on Facebook, and I told them everything that happened, and they agree with me that my mom is being unfair, considering I will be there for about 30 days and my sister only 8 times out of the month. I told my mother that now my sister won't be comfortable coming here because she doesn't know how to just shut up and just be a mother. My nana said it was so immature to really tell Facebook that we 'hate' her. Also, can I add that I've only been here 4 days because I went to my Poppop's last night. Then my mom had the audacity to tell me to keep the room clean when it was a mess. Then when I went to clean it, she told me to leave the stuff there. My sister didn't have it clean; it was a mess. I moved out this little fireplace and 2 blankets, and that's literally what they were mad about. Excuse me for cleaning your brown smoked out and molded walls and provided more space. Excuse me for cleaning the bedding that had cat fur all over it because I couldn't breathe. Cry a river.
so aita?

The Bee Movie was released in 2007, with the main character, Barry (who is a bee), being voiced by Jerry Seinfeld. The plot is about Barry discovering that humans have been stealing and eating bee's honey for centuries, so he pairs up with a human florist named Vanessa to sue the human race for mistreatment and exploitation of bees.
During the week of the trial, Barry has dinner with Vanessa, when her boyfriend, Ken, shows up and basically accuses her of cheating on him with Barry, the bee. This scene has Ken infamously yelling, "Are there other bugs in your life???" when Vanessa explains its not like that. She also breaks up with Ken here and spends more time with Barry throughout the film, essentially making Ken the bad guy.
This brings us to the meme posted in memes, titled: "The older you get, the more you understand he was rightfully angry."

[The meme says, "When you were dumped for a literal insect but you were still viewed as a villain:", and shows Ken making an incredulous face]

Let's start with the main comment that spawns lots of memey replies: (commenters will be appreviated C1, C2, C3, etc.)

Main: Nah, bro should have left all of that shit behind. The woman wanted to fuck the bee. That's not someone you would want to associate with. C1: These hoes ain't loyal C2: He should have joined, then they could have a beesome. C3: bzzz bzzzzzzz bzzzzzzz "What's that buzzing? Do you have a vibrator on?" "Nah, I am being fucked by a bee" o face C4: is honeyfuckers still around Edit: yup sure is. Also very nsfw in case you really needed the warning for a subreddit called honeyfuckers.

Among the memes is one user who seems to get massively downvoted for their take: (this user will be nicknamed 'Mega' for clarity)

Mega: at what part of the movie did she ever show feelings for Barry? C1: When she started ignoring her human BF for a fucking bee. Mega: no she was busy with a big lawsuit, thats why she was a bit distant to him, and she broke up with him because he tried to light a sentient being on fire C2: cope + ratio Mega: i mean im not wrong, at no point did she ever show romantic feelings for Barry C3: They co-own the flower shop at the end, they went on picnics in the park together, she’s flirty with him, I just think you’re really bad at social cu- oh yeah, this is Reddit, my bad Mega: yk that was a dream sequence right... C3: 1. Yeah my bad, small detail but the picnic is a dream sequence 2. Why do you have such ready knowledge of small details about a shitpost of a movie yet don’t see the clear romantic relationship of the characters C4: some people call it autism. Mega: ablest C5: don't worry; we're two peas in a pot Mega [to C3]: i fully admit that Barry has a crush on her, im just saying its a 1 sided crush, a crush that Ken doesn't even know about and from what we've seen of the movie doesn't have enough evidence to come to that conclusion (at most maybe just a suspicion) edit: also i have this information since we actually studied the bee movie in my philosophy class since you can draw parallels between the Bee's situation and capitalism and you can draw the outcome of the lawsuit to if we just switched to communism (basically a critism on both sides) and during me watching it i realized how wrong the internet was about Ken since before then it was a while since i seen that movie C6: Ok now you're just intentionally trying to be a caricature of the reddit meme, and it's clear you've been putting on a show this whole time C3: snort while you were out studying at school snorts again I WAS STUDYING THE BEE

A user points out to Mega that a certain scene in the movie was removed for some countries:

C1: Fun fact, [the scene where Ken tries to light Barry on fire] is absent in certain releases. Mega: huh, that helps explain why people overwhelmingly side with him C2: So what if he did, its a fucking bee. Would you break up with ur partner if they stood on an ant?? Mega: if the ant had the same intelligence and sentience as a human and overall is just a human in an ant's body and i know this very well then yes i would break up with them since they willingly tried to commit murder C2: It is not murder to squish an ant Mega: thats if it was a normal ant, sure there isnt any laws saying "dont kill bees" but morally with how bees are portrayed in the film killing Barry is still a really bad thing C2: But at the time he was trying to kill the bee, nobody knew that it was so intelligent and able to communicate. The bees golden rule was not to interact with humans so the man had no idea. All he saw was a regular bee flying around his home, and considering he was allergic to them and a sting could kill him, him trying to kill the bee wasn't actually that outrageous. Mega: your talking about the 1st time he tried to kill Barry, im talking about the bathroom scene where he was aware of Barry's intelligence and even had a conversation with him

One redditor suggests Mega is projecting due to a similar life experience they had:

C1: I am taking this out of the air here… But it seem to me very clearly that there might have been some similar situation (hopefully not with a bee) in your life, and admitting she was indeed wrong would make it relate to your situation and admitting you might have been indeed wrong in flirting with that person or allowing them to do so … but yk, just making a lore here in my head… only way that it makes sense that you are so affected by a joke about a kids movie Mega: yeah your defo taking this out of the air, and im just saying that OP's joke doesnt work since thats just not what happened in the film, he might have an argument if that one picnic dream sequence wasnt a dream but it was and otherwise it was just a 1 sided crush on Barry's end C2: It's fucking BEE MOVIE it's not that deep my guy. You were definitely cucked at some point and this clearly hits to close to home. Mega: lot of assumptions here C3: You're way to invested in the relationship of an animated bee and his equally fictional woman girlfriend.

Lastly, a redditor links the picnic sequence in the movie:

C1: https://youtu.be/3LWSfasjuAs?si=WrwynQY1DgeYfHth She fucked that bee

Reminder the thread is still ongoing, so there is plenty for you to go through yourself!
Edit: formatting

I (23F) have a boyfriend (24M) for almost 1 and a half years. He is my first relationship (a bit late since I never explicitly wanted to be in a relationship before because I thought I could work more on myself) while I'm his second. He had a messy relationship before and used to vent to me, I acknowledged him as my other brother (typical in Korean culture) and genuinely saw him that way, so I tried to be neutral and gave really basic advice because I didn't want to be any part of this and more because I was hearing things from his side and I didn't know the girl and she could be right too.
Fast forward to a few months, they keep getting together and breaking up and finally, they do it for real and he has a crush on another girl. He went out with her once, like lunch or something and she told him she has a situationship with someone else but they remained friends.
Later that year we had a group trip among our friends and we grew close and kinda caught feelings. He seemed passionate about me and expressed that he loved me already (too soon if I'm honest), I really enjoyed having him as my best friend and didn't mind dating him and in fact I reciprocated his feelings and we started dating.
With time he started being weird like when we are at class (we attend the same uni) and we are talking and someone calls me, and I look to reply to them and answer their question and return back to our conversation, he gets mad at me and refuses to talk to me like I did something bad. It was a big red flag and I tried to explain how that was really awful and when I tried to mildly get back at him like when he's not listening to me, I'd jokingly say don't talk to me you always do the same when I don't listen and he'd never even entertain me and would get mad. And me explaining how we shouldn't just be fighting over stupid things is just a waste of time, he'd never try to even understand.
Eventually, he gets it and stops doing it. With time I felt really unloved in the relationship as he rarely complimented me or said that he loved me and I had to initiate it, in fact, he stopped replying to them with a love you too or you're cute or something in general. In fact, my man here previously told me how he feels uncomfortable having female friends, so I never had any fear or even thought of him talking to other girls. Having friends who are girls is fine, but hiding that is weird. Plus whenever we joked about exes or people who liked us, he always used to say that he doesn't even talk with that girl.
So here are those instances:
When I'm on my phone beside him he jokingly presses on buttons and also views different chats especially if it's with a guy and jokes about sending something stupid. Now I never even thought of doing that to someone but he once left me with his phone and I was gonna do something like that and while finding a chat I clicked on one accidentally. It was the same girl he had a crush on before, and he is still talking to her, sadly he has been sending the same jokes and messages to her (nothing romantic explicitly) but everything is like any joke he told me, he told her and also was that he met her. My man always told me everything about his day but hid this which was like why do you tell me everything except this, meaning you want to hide it? I never even asked him about his day in detail like that. I tried to be rational and tried not to react as he never handled me saying anything I didn't like, nicely and I didn't want to fight. I wanted to be sure and this time I saw another girl WHOM I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT. The girl was sick so he even went to the house to give her food and my man doesn't even check twice when I am sick. And he beautifully kept that part out of his narration of his days. I peacefully confronted him about it the first time I saw the texts accidentally. He denied it all and I tried to not have a bigger fight.
Later one day I was called to his place to finish the work that he had due and couldn't do himself, I came to help while he showered and on his laptop, the girl's text kept coming in, they talked about what kind of partners they wanted, they went out for walks many times and all this time he told me that he was sleeping or was out alone, the LIES. I was so mad but I finished the work and we went to print his assignment and later I ended up confronting him. He denied and gaslit me in believing he didn't even do any of that. Plus both the girls and he had profile pictures he drew for himself and them, mind you I don't have one.
I went home and the next I confronted him again and he finally said that she is just a friend and since he lives alone she's the only one who doesn't drink or smoke like him hence he goes on walks with her. He was paranoid from his previous relationship that I would get mad and that's why he didn't tell me. I was like when did I say that and the hiding makes what he's doing wrong like he knows it but still is hiding it. My man also doesn't even consider them friends like bro what are they then?
ANYWAYS, he apologizes and kinda makes me feel bad by saying he won't have any friends at all like I caught you lying???? He says he won't do it anymore and he just hung out with them. I forgive him.
We had small stupid fights about him not talking enough when I saw him texting so nicely with them and all.
Fast forward to almost when we were done with a year, I caught him drawing his previously mentioned crush on class and then got mad I got mad at him for drawing him and also yelled at me like I never even raised my voice. He with his mouth told that he only draws people he loves. And felt valid being mad like you see her story and take a screenshot and start drawing her what??? We fought, and he threatened to break up which he does always like I'm the problem.
Then he apologized and we went back to normal and then we maybe had a few fights in between, it was mostly us being frustrated with work but then last week I saw him always clutch his phone when I'm grabbing something next to it, comically exactly like those unfaithful bf tiktoks lmao. This bothered me a lot like what is it hide, to have no fights, I reassured him that you don't have to hide having friends.
Now some days later we went on a date and he was like distracted once in a while to check his phone or try to check messages but when I looked he was pulling down the notification bar (where he has the message app muted you can't see anything). I was trying to brush it off, but then we decided to head home and I was like let's go to your place, we can watch a movie or something, he said his rent owner doesn't allow anyone because last day his friends caused a ruckus. Valid but his friends have been coming to his place for the past 4 days and when I asked if I wanted to go, even in the daytime, he had something to say. Maybe that is the truth but he adds we can sneak you in, I felt a bit desperate to agree to that so I said no and refused to be dropped by him at my home. He realized I was mad and left me, something I never even do to him but okay, I broke down and started having a mental breakdown and having no one, I decided to call him back to vent, which is something I never do because venting to him or anyone never makes me feel validated.
I know how you can make friends feel heard if not good when they have to let something out and at the moment no one around me does that at the moment which is fine like no one should be giving me therapy or something. Anyway, I was crying and he said he'd listen and not get mad I explained to him that being secretive makes me feel weird and what is to hide leading to a conversation where I asked him to show the texts. He denies which is weird so after a lot of pressing like if you don't show it agree that you're hiding something, he shows it. My man was singing her songs and she was too while he told me he would sleep, at 3 am and is calling her voice cute like it's so hard to get called cute as his girlfriend like wtf. I was like bitch wtf it's over but my low self-esteem ass wanted to fix stuff. I go home and beg him to talk and after lots of begging we talk, he first invalidates me then I break down and admit that he is wrong. This somehow leads to him having a full-blown mental breakdown of crying and throwing up and I feel bad.
Things got better then and we were normal, we'd move away after a while so really wanted to hang out at his place but he never said it himself anymore which he used to do it all the time before. This makes me sad, anyways he keeps making me feel bad saying always blame him, LIKE YOU DID THOSE THINGS TF? I was tired of that, and he started a fight saying I always blame him when I just said that I have been wanting to come to his place and you don't tell me to come by yourself, it always you can if you want to, you will have to sneak in. Liken it always felt like it was all from my side so although I tried to understand him, I told him again that I wanna hang out at his place like the desperate idiot I am, and after his same reply, I said it feels like you don't want it and he said I'm again blaming him. This was still funny banter until he started yelling again. Like just refused to listen like I did something.
So here is where I stand now. I am someone who tries to maintain a healthy relationship and can leave when things go bad but since my self-esteem is so low I end up staying with him. He isn't a good boyfriend I know it, but maybe I'm too stupid and this is what I deserve. He is way cool and prettier and seems to be beyond my league sometimes and the girls he talks to are so much prettier but I just can't. I keep forgiving him and it's so stupid. I don't know what to do or how to start to leave. What should be the exit plan if needed? And the reason why I wrote this, many times I just feel like, I am the asshole.

I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
~~

How do you become the prize?

If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.

~~

How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?

It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.

Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.

Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.

Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.

~~

Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.

The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.

But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.

~~

What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?

Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that


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Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.

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Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:

· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive

Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?

It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?

Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care

Use the formula to get success with men.

~~

If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.

Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.

~~

Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.

~~

"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "

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Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.

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If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.

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The only limitations are the ones you believe in.

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What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?

They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned

Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:

The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference

~~

Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.

~~

Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.

Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.

Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.

If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.

Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.

Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.

And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.

~~

How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?

Become happy with yourself:

· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy

Only you can make you happy

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Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.

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The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.

Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.

~~

It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.

Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?

~~

Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:

“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.

So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.

And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.

~~

How do you find your purpose? You create it.

~~

Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.

~~

Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.

~~

A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.

~~

How to become detached and unbothered?

Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.

~~

Comment:

Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.

It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.

The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.

~~

Comment:

Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.

~~

If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.

~~

10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger

1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered

~~

‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.

Look to magazines for style inspiration:

O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful

~~

Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.

~~

Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.

~~

Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.

~~

‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’

~~

Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊

~~

Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.

~~

‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.

A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.

~~

How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.

· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you

(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)

That’s how you get what you want.

Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.

Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.

~~

Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.

~~

Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.

~~

Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.

Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.

~~

I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.

~~

I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.

~~

A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.

~~

A good actress will melt into her role.

~~

Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.

~~

To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.

~~

“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”

~~

How to be unbothered?

Comments:

‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’

‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’

‘Being unbothered is a choice.’

~~

Comment:

If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.

Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....

Work out to increase your confidence...

Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...

~~

Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:

I look good
I feel good
I’m great

Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.

Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.

~~

How to keep your husband interested

· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person

Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.

Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.

~~

Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.

~~

Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.

Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.

~~
· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.

~~

When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.

Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.

Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.

~~

The better you look, the more successful he looks.

~~

Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.

If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.

When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.

Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.

Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.

You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.

People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.

~~

“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”

Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.

How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.

~~

People who talk less are generally more well respected.

~~

“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.

Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’

Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”

~~

Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.

~~

· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.

~~

If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.

~~

Be unbothered

It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.

How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.

~~

Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?

“No.

At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.

If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.

And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.

Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”

~~

Hi Reddit, this is my first post on here so a bit nervous lol. Some background information - me (23F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been together 4 years now. We met while I was on a gap year and the last 3 years have been semi long distance - my university is about an hour away, so we see each other every weekend and I come home for holidays so we still spend a fair amount of time together. We text throughout the day while he’s at work, and generally everything is good between us - he’s such a kind, thoughtful guy, treats me so well, wants to see me as much as possible, always replies to messages quickly, etc.
Our only issues have been related to him lying about things. We had 2 instances in particular over the past couple years, I won’t get into too much detail but they involved him lying multiple times about who he was talking to - both times turned out to be a girl (different ones) - however he showed me the messages and they were completely innocent, and they were friends he’d known for years. I was so confused about why he hid this from me as I have never had an issue with him having female friends, and explained my main problem is people lying to me, all I want is honesty from him. Both times he apologised profusely and swore he’d never lie again (which of course he did), and his explanation was that his ex before me was very controlling and wouldn’t allow him to talk to any other girls so he was stuck in the habit (I know this was a very toxic relationship so I kind of accepted this).
However, we’ve been together over 4 years now so he really should understand by now that I won’t get upset about him having female friends, ONLY about him hiding things.
Anyway, flash forward to now. I’m currently nearing the end of my university degree so my workload is massive and my stress levels have been through the roof. Because of this, I haven’t been able to see him quite as often (still very regularly) and the last time I saw him I was quite moody due to the stress. Then a few days ago, we were texting while he was at work. It got to his break time, and usually he texts me all throughout lunch. But this time he didn’t message me until his break had finished. I asked if he’d had a nice lunch, he said he’d gone out to eat by himself. I immediately had a gut feeling that he was lying, but what could I do?
So, he came to see me this weekend and I couldn’t get it out of my head that he’d lied to me - if he did, why? Was he having an affair at work?? Maybe a bit dramatic but i just had a very bad feeling. So i asked him in person whether he did go by himself, he swears he did. I got a bit upset and begged him to just tell me - he said ok fine, I went with a girl from work, didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t get jealous. This really upset me as i’ve said so many times that i don’t get jealous or upset unless i’m lied to, and he has no reason to think otherwise!! It was a girl he’d never mentioned before so I asked if i could see their messages. He said sure and opened them straight away. Immediately these messages gave the sense that he liked her - he messaged a lot throughout the day while they were at work, asking what food she wants, saying he’s bought her a cookie or something, they both use kisses, she sends heart emojis and he sends the kissy face one.. Once she messaged him at night (innocent convo tbf) and they ended it with “goodnight babes xxx” … He was also always asking if she would be working the next day & what time etc.. also constantly trying to do favours for her.
The most damning message was him saying “just have to say it, your hair looks gorgeous today, it really suits you”, to which she replied aww thank u you’re so cute xxxx
So he’s showing me these messages, I ask if he likes her, he says no. He does agree that that message was flirty, he said straight away that he was an idiot and should never have sent that. Eventually (always trickle truthing) he admits that he did have feelings for her for a bit but they’re gone now. He assured me that he wants nothing to do with her, he says he would never have taken it any further because he’d never cheat on me. He was feeling like I didn’t like him anymore because of how i was acting and these messages happened as a result apparently. I did apologise for making him feel like that, but he should have told me instead of flirting with his co worker?? Apparently she does know that he has a girlfriend. He immediately offered to cut her off completely and even to quit his job, he just doesn’t want to lose me. I told him don’t be silly, as he loves this job and it’s great money, and he can’t cut her off either as he sees her every day at work. It still makes me really uncomfortable though.
I truly don’t think he actually cheated on me, but flirting is still a form of cheating to me and i never thought he’d do that. I really do love him and the thought of losing the future we’d planned together makes me so sad.
I just don’t know what to do!! Any advice would be helpful please.. he’s a good guy but if I stay with him will he always lie to me about things? after 4 years it hasn’t changed. I also wonder how far the flirting would have gone if she’d come onto him..
Would you break up with your partner in this situation?
TL;DR - I just found out my boyfriend of 4 years has been exchanging flirty texts with a female coworker, partly because he was feeling unappreciated by me. He also lied about them having lunch together. He insists that he’d rather never talk to her again and even quit his job rather than lose me. What should i do?

I’m an American (Austin, TX 🤠) who spends 3-4 months of the year Dublin, because my Irish boyfriend lives out there. I just got back from a trip to Dublin last week, so unfortunately, I won’t be able to see the show, but I wanted to send along some recommendations for those of you who are traveling to Dublin. Please reach out if you have any questions and have an amazing time at the show and in Dublin!

• Brindle - Amazing coffee shop making their own caramel. If you love a caramel latte, this is your spot.
• Una - New coffee shop and bakery. Their baked goods are incredible. You can take the Luas into Ranelagh and it’s a short walk from there. There will be a line on weekends
• Kehoe’s - right off Grafton St. A proper ‘old man pub’ pouring my boyfriend’s favorite pint of Guinness
• Pickle - really good Indian food off Camden St
• Devitt’s - great pub on Camden St. Went to the upstairs on a random Monday night and it was packed with great live music
• Temple Bar - it is fully a Taurus trap. You’re paying a bit more here than you would be elsewhere for the same pint, but every night of the week, it’s packed and it’s fun.
• Winding Stair Bookshop
• Bibi’s Cafe - brunch spot in Portobello
• The Cake Cafe - Dublin does amazing pastries. The Cake Cafe has the most delicious lemon slice ever. It’s so good, I ordered two whole sheets of it for my boyfriend’s birthday. You have to go in through the used bookstore. Located on Camden St
• Bambino Pizza - it lives up to the hype. It’s delicious
• Collected Treasure - vintage clothing store
• Loose Cannon Cheese & Wine - wine and toastie shop in the larger Grafton St shopping area. So fun and cute to stand around outside and drink on a nice day
• Host - delicious restaurant in Ranelagh. If you’re lucky to score a reservation, definitely do the chef’s tasting menu.
• Bar 1661 - a cocktail bar making drinks with potcheen (Irish moonshine). I have not been, but I’ve heard amazing things
• Whelan’s - The PS I Love You bar. It’s a great live music venue, and I personally think it’s really hard to find a great margarita in Dublin (or even a good cocktail), but this spot made a very good one. Located on Camden St

I (19F) began dating an older guy, Mark (24M) (not his real name), recently. It's not that serious yet, so I haven't told my family or most of my friends about him, except one. I told one of my friends, Amy (22F), after she asked me if I had had any luck with dating after I broke up with my last boyfriend. I said yes. Initially, she was excited for me and asked me if the guy I was dating was cute. I said yes and showed her a picture of us. She agreed with me that he was attractive but after taking a closer look at the picture, she said, "Wait, how old is he?" Without thinking, I said 24. Instantly, her attitude changed. She said that when she was my age, she dated older guys, and they all ended up in disaster, that they were controlling and possessive. At first, I didn't mind her concern and told her that I would be sure to be careful and appreciated her concern, but she kept pushing and trying to get me to break up with him. I tried moving the conversation to other stuff but she kept going. Eventually, I snapped and said, "Hey, haven't you dated and broken up with three people in the past year? You're not exactly in a position to be giving advice about relationships." Immediately after, I realized what I said was mean and tried to apologize, but I had struck a nerve. She was pissed and stormed off. We haven't talked in over a week. So, AITA?

So I have more evidence of the duration of contact. She's 7 months married. 6.5 months pregnant.
It started out sexual from his first words. Calling her sexy. Asking to video chat. She didn't, but deflected in a passive way. I know they transitioned to Snapchat after he asked to video chat and stopped using Instagram. ~3.5 yr gap from then to when they added each other on this latest instance of his Snapchat.
Proof I nailed it on at least two counts in our previous talk when I told her that "I don't remember" isn't the defense she thinks it is. It's just harmful stonewalling and lying and I'm going to operate under the assumption: of the possible answers, it's the worst one. Don't remember how long it has been going on for? I take that to mean it's been the whole time. It happened before our relationship and never stopped. She acknowledged that he had asked for sexual pictures. I asked when he started that. "I don't remember." Well that just means that's the status quo. You don't have an event to point to because it didn't stand out. That's just the nature of your conversation. It's always been him pushing boundaries and asking for it.
So when I ask what video she sent and she says "I don't remember?" When I ask what else she has sent and she says "nothing else inappropriate?" Well I don't have proof but I know what my gut feeling is. Let's not get into the "inappropriate" nature of the admitted venting to your ex who about our relationship problems...
Time for another confrontation with newfound evidence to poke holes. Let's see if it's enough to trigger her to come clean now on the rest.
She tries to minimize it. Reiterates that nothing else inappropriate was sent. I tell her that the whole thing is inappropriate and should have been shut down when it started in the way that it did. I asked what was exchanged on Snapchat. She said he asked for more but that she told him I'm married and don't want to do that. I pointed out that he was calling her sexy and asking to video chat and there's no hint of that sentiment in the months it took to move to Snapchat. All I see is (AP):"you're looking sexy" (WW) "thanks. you're looking good too!" and "Im 8 mo pregnant, tired, and don't want to be on camera." Nothing even vaguely expressing its inappropriate or that you want it to stop because you're married. Just quick on the draw when he asks to see that sexy belly or that cute face. Asking to video chat, a shared Snapchat username, and right on over to the platform designed for sexting. Either it's as you say, that you didn't care about him at all and just went along in the most passive way imaginable or you were an enthusiastic participant. I think it's the latter.
She deflects and brings up me texting my ex at one point with a picture of our new baby. Also mentioned a girl I have on Snapchat. Turns out she must have snooped in my phone? Well she never mentioned it to me despite "it shaking her."
Another example of a huge personality flaw of hers. No communication. She just bottled it up and used it as justification for eroding our marriage. If she had mentioned it at the time, it could have been addressed and put to rest. One benefit to living a clean life. I told her that my recollection of the nature of the conversation I had with her was that it was short, congratulating her on getting married and sharing that we had our daughter. That I haven't spoken to her since. As for the other one brought up that's a Snapchat friend, she is a childhood friend that was a few years younger and not an ex. Our parents worked together and our families hung out a lot. That she's in a happy long term committed relationship on the other side of the country and that I havent seen her since we were like 15 and 12. That we had previously talked in college and before our relationship about each others' relationships. Mainly to vent about ones that had ended or complain about the lack of options. At one point she was in one where he wasn't very committed and I told her she deserves better. I hadn't said anything during a relationship besides being happy and wishing her the same. This all being prior to our relationship. Since then it's pretty much just random pictures you send out to everyone like stuff our family is doing or of her and her SO/dog, but not engaging directly. So yeah, nice try at deflection, but these are wildly different actions.
All this gives me the idea to go see if she's got her old phone around somewhere with old messages from before we dated. I had seen the stuff mentioned in the previous post, but had drawn a line back then to not look at anything from before we dated. I feel it's relevant now for texts with AP at least, to be an example of how they interact.
Found it, and checked when she was away. Read their conversation history. Everything out of his mouth is sexual. Pushing for photos. Sending nudes. He was married at the time. She wasn't super cooperative at first, bringing up the wife, but still ended up sending nudes in response to his. About a year and a half before we got together, while she was between boyfriends, he asked to meet her at a hotel when she came back home for the holidays and she agreed. Later said she couldn't because she just started dating someone and wasn't the type of person to do stuff with two guys. Partial credit I guess? Still not a great look into the character of my wife to be comfortable as AP.
Anyway. Stashed away the evidence. I did do some internet sleuthing and found the address, phone numbers, Facebook, etc of him and his wife. More on that later.
In our conversations about him and their history together, she did mention that before we met, she was in a relationship where the guy was suspicious/jealous and was physically threatening (punched a wall next to her) and sexually assaulted her. That she had told the ex and he confronted the guy and made him back off. So there's a new aspect of trauma she hadn't shared fully. She had shared early on that she had a relationship with someone she was scared of who got jealous and started stalking her but hadn't shared the rest. She won't tell me his name which is probably good for my own continuing "not in jail" legal status, but fuck.... I can appreciate what he did for her and still think he's scum. I can understand the sense of owing him for that and wanting that as an option for protection, which lead to putting up with it despite not wanting to follow through (as she claims). That doesn't excuse continuing into marriage though. It's also fertile ground for an emotional affair if he's the confidant she talks to when things are rough. There's also the "well I've seen it already so it's not a big deal if you send more pictures" aspect that makes it easy to slip into that dynamic.
More to follow. I did however have a session with an IC thru talkspace which went well. She brought up BPD which after looking, I can't say hits on all counts but there's definitely a lot of overlap with the Petulant subtype.

These past 2 years have been brutal, it's been L after L with no break.
I feel like a mouse in a maze that every time it approaches the exit is dragged back to the start by a hand from the sky.
It doesn't matter how much I try, the outcome is always the worst possible one.
I've gone from agnostic to full on believer because I don't think someone can be this unlucky without some almighty being involved in it.
I now fully believe God exists and either:

1. He is actively punishing me
2. He has left me stranded

   
Will keep it short since I know you hoes like reading this kind of shit:
 
Around 2 years ago I was leasing a horse, and giving it my all, I was earning an entry-level salary in a comfy remote work living with my parents. Keeping the horse was costing me pretty much my full salary. I didn't go out and did anything except lifting, running, riding and working.
For almost a year I was the happiest I had ever been, I literally jumped out of bed excited to live the day, I would work 8-4, lift in my home gym and go visit my horse, either riding, or just being with him, during the time I had him I didn't go a single day without seeing him.
Of course living like this means that I don't have the most social life or friends circle, but I didn't care since every hour of my life was busy.
My plan for the year was training and competing and then in September changing jobs and buying the horse, but in July the horse was injured, I didn't get the best veterinary advice and didn't know what to do, I was being drained for a horse I couldn't even ride or enjoy, after all those months of hard work and discipline, for some reason the owner got mad, and petty sold him behind my back.
During this time, my highschool best friend started regaining contact and started meeting with me and his gf, they gave me a lot of support during those weeks, against all odds, I nailed an interview for a high-paying job that would've allowed me to buy the horse and maintain it comfortably.
I was still too hurt from what had happened, so I just chilled for a few months, saving money, and hanging out with my friend and his gf, and lifting and running, I was at my physical peak, I was lifting heavier than ever, running faster and longer, I was optimistic for the future, I just needed time to heal and I had the means to do so, social life, earning money and physical activity.
 
Fast forward to December and I receive a cryptic message from my friend's GF saying that she wasn't going to be here for my birthday (we met the previous day) because my dumbass friend just broke up with her.
That basically destroyed my little social life since they were living in the city, and my friend disappeared to be with his new GF.
I tried to comfort her and be there for her (wasn't attracted and even if I were it wouldn't be right to take advantage of the situation).
The months of just working and lifting allowed me to save enough to start looking to buy my own horse, I was still hurting from the whole situation, and being alone, but still I was just lifting heavy, running, walking my dog, keeping myself busy.
In February after trying and vetting some horses, I found one that seemed promising. I bought a very expensive veterinary exam, and he passed it, allegedly, I buy the horse.
 
Long story short, barely 3 weeks into ownership, I started noticing pain and weird stuff that shouldn't be happening since I started with very soft work, a few weeks of going through 3 different vets, and basically the horse had a life-long injury that the first vet didn't catch in the exam, and basically it was done for, I was devastated, I tried some solutions but they we're not effective, it was over.
During those months, my friend's ex-gf started coming to visit me, we slept together (no sex), we talked every day, I gave her presents, one would say what I did was love bombing her, but to me It was just being there giving support, for her it turned into a situationship.
I still had the horse, I couldn't selling him while he was untrained, and I still had a bit of faith in the vet's advice, and then, suddenly, my knee started hurting, I was lucky that in my new job I had private insurance, so I could immediately go to the orthopedist and do an MRI without the long ass waits of the public health care (up to a year for the MRI), and lo and behold, torn meniscus, it rapidly went from "pain while running" to "some days I can't even fucking walk", I had to stop riding, paying my trainer to ride my horse since I needed to sell him, I had to stop running, I had to stop doing any leg gym exercises.
I didn't want to do the surgery since what I read online was very contradictory.
 
Because shit can always get worse, one day I was alone with my parents (we also live with my brother and grandma), and I notice the vibes being off, I ask “what the fuck is your problem?” and they confess that my father doesn’t like my mom anymore, well, not to get into too much detail but since then I’ve had to endure watching my mom cry, they get into arguments all the time, just awful, thing is I was already so drained from my personal bullshit that after the initial shock, It didn’t pain me too much, they just keep living together, although I hear them arguing from time to time.
During those months my ex-friend’s ex-gf kept catching feelings for me, and my autistic ass couldn't really read the situation so I made it worse. Finally she asked me if I was going serious with her or if she could go on about her life. I said that I didn't see her as my partner, and since then she got a boyfriend and our friendship went to shit.
 
I finally sold the horse, my life got extremely bored.
I decided to do the surgery since I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed, running, riding, whatever, but I had a trip in January with her so I had to postpone it until then, for those months all I could do was going for walks like an old man, and hit the gym (all chest no legs), I was going kinda hard tho, since I knew that during the months of recovery I would lose a lot of muscle and I wanted to go in my best form, during those months I acquired my best physique ever, for the first time, after years of being constant, I liked how my body looked.
The trip was a mistake, she nagged me every minute of it, I could tell she had only gone because it was already paid for, I had postponed the surgery 2 months just to have a horrible weekend.
 
I did the surgery and the first bad news came, they couldn't fix the broken part of the meniscus, so they took it out, this was the worst possible outcome since it would mean a shorter recovery, but the probabilities of arthritis in the future were higher, off to a good start.
2 weeks later I start going to rehab, during those weeks nobody came to visit me, well, my friend did, only to talk shit on his new coworker (during those months he would only message me to talk shit about coworkers or work), nobody else, not the situationship, not my trainer, nobody.
Speaking about the situationship, after the trip, she stopped messaging me, and even replying at all. I thought, well, there it goes, I’ve lost “not being an unopened chat” privilege.
Some boring months of rehab, working the job that I started to dread, and doing the boring ass knee exercises at home, and then, suddenly a glimmer of hope.
 
I start being treated by a “new” physio, but turns out she had been on sick leave for the same reason as me, she tore her meniscus, during those first 3-4 sessions we talked and talked for the whole hour, she was just perfect, around my age, funny, cute, was active, played sports, had a nice body, she lives like 5 minutes walk from my house.
I immediately fell in love like I had never before in my life, and that’s when it came to me, this was it, every bad thing that happened to me has come to this, to meeting this girl, everything made sense, If I had my surgery earlier I would not have met her because she would be on sick leave. My broken meniscus, my lame horse, every bad thing that had happened to me had led me to her.
So I take my autistic ass, and since I felt like we had something cool going on I ask “Hey, I think you’re very interesting and cute and would like to know you better, can I have your number so we can meet and go for a drink some day?” and she actually did give it to me, I asked for her number instead of her IG because I didn’t want to play any game, I thought she wouldn’t give me her number unless she was interested in me, I was ecstatic.
I start texting her and after refusing to meet a few times (with actually convincing excuses) I ask her “Hey if you don't want its fine I won't bother you anymore, just tell me” and she basically told me that she didn’t want to break the physio-patient barrier, I didn’t understand anything but I didn’t want to make it weirder since she is still treating me so I just accepted it.
 
The thing is, I know where she lives, I have to walk past her apartment whenever I go for a walk, drive to town, I get reminded constantly, moving on is very hard, I really thought she was for me, I thought she was finally the reward for all my suffering, but turns out she's just part of the punishment, I legit had a religious revelation, every single bad thing that had happened, God made it so I went and met her, my knee injury, having to sell the horse, losing my friends, no way it was a coincidence.
 
Now that I know that she is not for me, not even as a friend, I have nothing, the knee recovery is not going well, I was supposed to be a-ok in 6 weeks, It’s been 3 months and I still can’t even go for a walk without swelling and pain, I can’t workout because the knee exercises take a long ass time and I feel like they’re not doing shit, I don’t have friends to meet and take my mind off it, every few weeks I have to see my mum weeping around the house because my father is a piece of shit.
 
And to top it all, I just started having similar pain in the good knee, so there is a possibility that even If I hadn’t done shit, it may be injured too, this shit just doesn’t end, it just fucking never ends.
     
TLDR: Everything that has ever given me pleasure or made me happy has been taken away from me. I went from getting out of bed full of hope and enthusiasm to sleeping through my alarms because the only thing I can do is sit in front of a screen. I’ve been having the worst day of my life every day for the past 2 years, after everything I’ve worked hard for and all the sacrifices I’ve made.

These past 2 years have been brutal, it's been L after L with no break.
I feel like a mouse in a maze that every time it approaches the exit is dragged back to the start by a hand from the sky.
It doesn't matter how much I try, the outcome is always the worst possible one.
I've gone from agnostic to full on believer because I don't think someone can be this unlucky without some almighty being involved in it.
I now fully believe God exists and either:

1. He is actively punishing me
2. He has left me stranded

   
Will keep it short since I know you hoes like reading this kind of shit:
 
Around 2 years ago I was leasing a horse, and giving it my all, I was earning an entry-level salary in a comfy remote work living with my parents. Keeping the horse was costing me pretty much my full salary. I didn't go out and did anything except lifting, running, riding and working.
For almost a year I was the happiest I had ever been, I literally jumped out of bed excited to live the day, I would work 8-4, lift in my home gym and go visit my horse, either riding, or just being with him, during the time I had him I didn't go a single day without seeing him.
Of course living like this means that I don't have the most social life or friends circle, but I didn't care since every hour of my life was busy.
My plan for the year was training and competing and then in September changing jobs and buying the horse, but in July the horse was injured, I didn't get the best veterinary advice and didn't know what to do, I was being drained for a horse I couldn't even ride or enjoy, after all those months of hard work and discipline, for some reason the owner got mad, and petty sold him behind my back.
During this time, my highschool best friend started regaining contact and started meeting with me and his gf, they gave me a lot of support during those weeks, against all odds, I nailed an interview for a high-paying job that would've allowed me to buy the horse and maintain it comfortably.
I was still too hurt from what had happened, so I just chilled for a few months, saving money, and hanging out with my friend and his gf, and lifting and running, I was at my physical peak, I was lifting heavier than ever, running faster and longer, I was optimistic for the future, I just needed time to heal and I had the means to do so, social life, earning money and physical activity.
 
Fast forward to December and I receive a cryptic message from my friend's GF saying that she wasn't going to be here for my birthday (we met the previous day) because my dumbass friend just broke up with her.
That basically destroyed my little social life since they were living in the city, and my friend disappeared to be with his new GF.
I tried to comfort her and be there for her (wasn't attracted and even if I were it wouldn't be right to take advantage of the situation).
The months of just working and lifting allowed me to save enough to start looking to buy my own horse, I was still hurting from the whole situation, and being alone, but still I was just lifting heavy, running, walking my dog, keeping myself busy.
In February after trying and vetting some horses, I found one that seemed promising. I bought a very expensive veterinary exam, and he passed it, allegedly, I buy the horse.
 
Long story short, barely 3 weeks into ownership, I started noticing pain and weird stuff that shouldn't be happening since I started with very soft work, a few weeks of going through 3 different vets, and basically the horse had a life-long injury that the first vet didn't catch in the exam, and basically it was done for, I was devastated, I tried some solutions but they we're not effective, it was over.
During those months, my friend's ex-gf started coming to visit me, we slept together (no sex), we talked every day, I gave her presents, one would say what I did was love bombing her, but to me It was just being there giving support, for her it turned into a situationship.
I still had the horse, I couldn't selling him while he was untrained, and I still had a bit of faith in the vet's advice, and then, suddenly, my knee started hurting, I was lucky that in my new job I had private insurance, so I could immediately go to the orthopedist and do an MRI without the long ass waits of the public health care (up to a year for the MRI), and lo and behold, torn meniscus, it rapidly went from "pain while running" to "some days I can't even fucking walk", I had to stop riding, paying my trainer to ride my horse since I needed to sell him, I had to stop running, I had to stop doing any leg gym exercises.
I didn't want to do the surgery since what I read online was very contradictory.
 
Because shit can always get worse, one day I was alone with my parents (we also live with my brother and grandma), and I notice the vibes being off, I ask “what the fuck is your problem?” and they confess that my father doesn’t like my mom anymore, well, not to get into too much detail but since then I’ve had to endure watching my mom cry, they get into arguments all the time, just awful, thing is I was already so drained from my personal bullshit that after the initial shock, It didn’t pain me too much, they just keep living together, although I hear them arguing from time to time.
During those months my ex-friend’s ex-gf kept catching feelings for me, and my autistic ass couldn't really read the situation so I made it worse. Finally she asked me if I was going serious with her or if she could go on about her life. I said that I didn't see her as my partner, and since then she got a boyfriend and our friendship went to shit.
 
I finally sold the horse, my life got extremely bored.
I decided to do the surgery since I couldn't do any of the things I enjoyed, running, riding, whatever, but I had a trip in January with her so I had to postpone it until then, for those months all I could do was going for walks like an old man, and hit the gym (all chest no legs), I was going kinda hard tho, since I knew that during the months of recovery I would lose a lot of muscle and I wanted to go in my best form, during those months I acquired my best physique ever, for the first time, after years of being constant, I liked how my body looked.
The trip was a mistake, she nagged me every minute of it, I could tell she had only gone because it was already paid for, I had postponed the surgery 2 months just to have a horrible weekend.
 
I did the surgery and the first bad news came, they couldn't fix the broken part of the meniscus, so they took it out, this was the worst possible outcome since it would mean a shorter recovery, but the probabilities of arthritis in the future were higher, off to a good start.
2 weeks later I start going to rehab, during those weeks nobody came to visit me, well, my friend did, only to talk shit on his new coworker (during those months he would only message me to talk shit about coworkers or work), nobody else, not the situationship, not my trainer, nobody.
Speaking about the situationship, after the trip, she stopped messaging me, and even replying at all. I thought, well, there it goes, I’ve lost “not being an unopened chat” privilege.
Some boring months of rehab, working the job that I started to dread, and doing the boring ass knee exercises at home, and then, suddenly a glimmer of hope.
 
I start being treated by a “new” physio, but turns out she had been on sick leave for the same reason as me, she tore her meniscus, during those first 3-4 sessions we talked and talked for the whole hour, she was just perfect, around my age, funny, cute, was active, played sports, had a nice body, she lives like 5 minutes walk from my house.
I immediately fell in love like I had never before in my life, and that’s when it came to me, this was it, every bad thing that happened to me has come to this, to meeting this girl, everything made sense, If I had my surgery earlier I would not have met her because she would be on sick leave. My broken meniscus, my lame horse, every bad thing that had happened to me had led me to her.
So I take my autistic ass, and since I felt like we had something cool going on I ask “Hey, I think you’re very interesting and cute and would like to know you better, can I have your number so we can meet and go for a drink some day?” and she actually did give it to me, I asked for her number instead of her IG because I didn’t want to play any game, I thought she wouldn’t give me her number unless she was interested in me, I was ecstatic.
I start texting her and after refusing to meet a few times (with actually convincing excuses) I ask her “Hey if you don't want its fine I won't bother you anymore, just tell me” and she basically told me that she didn’t want to break the physio-patient barrier, I didn’t understand anything but I didn’t want to make it weirder since she is still treating me so I just accepted it.
 
The thing is, I know where she lives, I have to walk past her apartment whenever I go for a walk, drive to town, I get reminded constantly, moving on is very hard, I really thought she was for me, I thought she was finally the reward for all my suffering, but turns out she's just part of the punishment, I legit had a religious revelation, every single bad thing that had happened, God made it so I went and met her, my knee injury, having to sell the horse, losing my friends, no way it was a coincidence.
 
Now that I know that she is not for me, not even as a friend, I have nothing, the knee recovery is not going well, I was supposed to be a-ok in 6 weeks, It’s been 3 months and I still can’t even go for a walk without swelling and pain, I can’t workout because the knee exercises take a long ass time and I feel like they’re not doing shit, I don’t have friends to meet and take my mind off it, every few weeks I have to see my mum weeping around the house because my father is a piece of shit.
 
And to top it all, I just started having similar pain in the good knee, so there is a possibility that even If I hadn’t done shit, it may be injured too, this shit just doesn’t end, it just fucking never ends.
     
TLDR: Everything that has ever given me pleasure or made me happy has been taken away from me. I went from getting out of bed full of hope and enthusiasm to sleeping through my alarms because the only thing I can do is sit in front of a screen. I’ve been having the worst day of my life every day for the past 2 years, after everything I’ve worked hard for and all the sacrifices I’ve made.

Edit: DO NOT message me a simple hi or hello, with no information about you, Put some effort in to your message like i have, come on. Day+Attempt#192
Hello everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read, I know its long, I know - I know. But its worth the read, Trust me. I appreciate you immensely.
Here's a bit about me,
My name is Jay, I live on the East coast of the US. I'm looking for love - like everyone else on here.., but you may not believe or even be doubtful that I've never had a GF before with me being 26, but its true. I'm simply just not willing to "be with" just anyone and I'm very picky. I want us to be a match, more than just have similar things in common.
One thing I have always been told is that I'm a "Real Catch, I'd be extremely lucky to have someone like you" - WELL THEN TAKE ME. I'M FREE. LOL.
About me:
Physically -
~I'm a semi-tall guy, around 5'10.
~I'm thin but muscular.
~I have dirty blonde/ brown hair.
~Changing colored eyes.
~A voice nice enough to melt all your safeguards and get right into your heart and weak spots.
~I do not have any tattoos or piercings. Though I would like to get some eventually.
If you'd like to see a picture of me just ask and I'll show you - IF I may see you as well, I simply just don't want a picture of me out there for anyone to see.
-If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
Otherwise -
~I do have 3 pet bunnies I would be more than happy to show you, they are extremely cute.
~I'm a very honest and down to earth guy.
~I'm very patient and easy going.
~I'm very curious and inquisitive. I will try to ask everything I can to learn all about you haha.
~I'm Very VERY Kind & Caring, I will probably ask how you are feeling a bajillion times a day, simply out of care for you.
~I can get pretty clingy, and will always want your attention and to be talking with you. If i have someone im interested in i wont want to talk to anyone else🤷‍♂️
~I'm very trustworthy - you can confide in me, and entrust your deepest secrets and I wont tell a soul.
~I'm a HUGE hopeless romantic, im old fashioned and will always try to impress you.
- I'm, a BIG softie even though I may look a smol bit intimidating, but I'd do just about anything to see you smile or laugh. And yes.., I do mean anything.
~I'm a big goof - I will get up to some silly shenanigans ALL the time, I will crack dumb jokes and send you memes and tik toks just to make you happy, even if its from across the room I'd wait to see your reaction lol.
~I'm extremely loyal, and would never even think of cheating.
~I will cook for you, and clean up too, even around the house, I'm very self productive and don't ask for much. Just don't forget to kiss the cook.
~I'd also love to just cuddle up and watch a movie or read a book together, anything to get us closer. Id try to take you out on dates whenever possible haha. I have a million SUPER romantic date ideas I have but have never had anyone interested enough in me to take out. Here's your chance ;)
~I will always want to share stuff I find interesting with you, and try to share every moment of every day with you. I'm not looking for someone who can only talk for a small amount of time, I want someone who's willing to put in all the effort I put into them back into me, it goes both ways. If I'm "with" someone you are my TOP priority nobody and nothing else would be. You would be the only person I'd truly want to talk to, so rest assured I would NEVER cheat, even more so because no one is interested in me - Hence why I'm here hahaha.
I'm sure there is more to me than this snippet but I cant think of more at the moment haha, so get to know me and find out more about me.
Some of my interests are: Engineering- I'm a nerd. I admit it. I love being technical and hands on, I love building things. All kinds of things, from furniture, machinery, and reverse engineering anything I find. I love learning how things work and trying to improve things.
Music - I prefer music with a very fast pace, or with some very meaningful lyrics I can relate to. I love to sing along to music and songs that have a deep meaning behind it I can sympathize with makes it all the better. Some bands I like are: Bad Omens, Beartooth, Demon Hunter, MIW, I9K - The list goes on. I'm a bit of a metalhead unfortunately.
TV Shows & Movies - I love watching shows, and I'd love to stream some shows and have some E-dates with you, to get to know you, or if you are close to me, maybe we could do it in person. Some shows I like or more of the Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action, stuff like: National Treasure, Halo, BattleBots, Rick and Morty, AHS, Anything Marvel or DC, The Witcher, Wednesday, The Sandman, The Magicians, The Umbrella Academy, ETC.
Gaming - Yes yes I know, Basic guy likes basic stuff. But gaming has been a thing for me since forever. I know most of you wont care or want to hear that, but I'll leave out the specifics on this part unless you are interested in that, MEGA Bonus points if you are.
Here's a lists of Cons to dating me-
~I'm not Ryan Reynolds. Disappointing, I know.
~I will fight you on what goes on pizza lol.
~I'm not rich.., Yet.
~I can't pronounce Worcestershire.
~I'm slightly forgetful, but with good reasoning.
~(Not really a con but- some might disagree) I still have ALL of my firsts, Do with that what you will c:
~I've got an endless pile of love and affection and no one to give it to! What a dilemma! Help me fix it?
Other than that I'll save the rest for a bit more of getting to know each other.
Here's a bit of what I'm looking in you:
~Preferably someone with lots of free time, and loves to chit chat. I'm seriously not interested in getting 1 message a day. Though I understand people get busy, I personally am not willing to try to learn about you and form something with 7 responses a week. Effort gets reciprocated and I appreciate the time you put in me.
~Physically: -I’m not personally attracted to anyone who’s “curvy/ chubby”, I apologize. Not a shallow thing, I just dont have the attraction chemical in my brain for that, I’m sorry. -If you’re shorter than me, thats a plus to me. -I love dimples, if you have those when you smile, bonus points 😊 - I’m not sure what else to put.., but as for nsfw wise find out😂
~I'm a sucker for a different accent other than American, and if you have an Posh English accent you have already won my heart.
~I'm also only really looking for someone within the ages of 18-35. I don't want anyone old enough to be my mom lol.
~I'd prefer (But not a must) people NOT on the other side of the world, as other time zones SUCK. I don't expect to find anyone who also has never had a boyfriend either, but that would be a real plus. I also don't mind a LDR, but I don't want that forever. But it gives us time to get to know each other.
But as for attributes I'm looking for in you:
~Someone who is above all else very very Loyal and would never cheat.
~Someone who is Honest, and will tell me the truth over a little white lie.
~Someone who is Kind & Caring, who'd constantly check on me, and accept me for who I am & help me improve day to day.
~Someone who is trustworthy, and I can count on to keep my secrets safe, or even just help me remember things.., I do tend to be somewhat forgetful.
~Someone who is very Patient and wants to see me succeed and will help me do so, just like I would help you. Even if its small day to day things, I would appreciate your company ANY time.
~I want a partner who is Affectionate, can reciprocate, and loves to snuggle and talk about their day, and what their interests are, and what makes them happy.
~Someone who can admit they get clingy or overprotective is a bonus.
~A partner with good communication is key, if something wrong we have to be able to talk about it.
~A partner who likes to game with me or at least watch me play would be a plus but not a requirement.
~Someone with a good sense of humor and like to joke around, I am a big goof after all and I love to joke around. Sending memes is always appreciated and good to cheer people up too!
~I'd prefer someone with the same music taste, but not a requirement, Plus if you wouldn't mind if I send you love songs occasionally that's a bonus, or sending me some back haha.
~Being willing to voice call is a must, Texting forever is not the way to go. I have to know what your voice is like haha, later on we can video call if you are comfortable with that. I prefer chatting on Discord because Reddit messages of any kind I'm sure you know are unreliable and sucky in general. So please send me your discord if you have one :)
~I would LOVE to see picture of your pets if you have any. Bonus points if it includes your beautiful self haha.
I'm sure there is more I'm looking for but I cant think of it right now haha, I will have to edit this when I think of it.
Please tell me about you as an opener! I told you a good bit about me, now its your turn haha.
Tell me some things like -
~What's your name?
~Where are you from?
~How old are you?
~What are your hobbies / interests?
~What about my post interested you?
~Where is my TV Remote?!
~Selfie? Pet pics?
~Hit me with your best joke or meme :)
~What's your favorite candy?
I'd LOVE to get to know you, and see where things go.
But yeah, I know it was long I'm sorry haha. Send me a message and lets get to know each other! :)

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him

I S Hi I’m new to this reddit thing so sorry if I make any mistakes.Basically this all happened a few months ago me(f 16) and my friend(f 14) I’ll call her meep we’re having a sleepover,she was on her phone most of the time which I didn’t think to much of when she then said to me hey can a few of our other friends(both f 14) come which I said sure because we where all friends now when they first came we did basic things girls do at sleepovers like doing eachother a hair and stuff until one of my friends takes something out of her bag I didn’t really cat eat first thinking it was something like clothes or make up until I get a good look at it and realised she had bull a bottle of beer out.Meep seeing this was like omg you actually managed to get it in your bag with my other friend I’ll cal her Lew said ya and bragged about how easy it was at first I wasn’t to keen on it since it being in my house but out of pressure drank it.A while later me and my friends start planning the day ahead of us now jump to the next day me and my friends start walking which all of them weren’t to keen on since it was a 1 and a half hour walk but sucked it up to our town (btw we live in a small town in a small country) anyway we where walking to a park originally but we all got hungry so we walked to supermarket but my friend (I’ll call this one royal)went to her house to pick up stuff and a bit later lew had to get something so it was just me and meep just sitting around eating on a platform when royal came back us three we’re walking around when we saw royals boyfriend(m 14) and his older brother(m 19) royal then started running after them yelling out to them and so then a bit later royal was flirting with her bf and me meep and the brother were just sitting around then we finally meet up with lew we then decided to go to the park together which ended badly in a fight where police where called but that’s not important anyway a bit later my friend called her bf and made sure he was ok and he said why don’t we try hanging out again tomorrow w which she without asking said yes so now me and my other friends had to go out again without being asked if it was ok with us but we also didn’t really care since most of us did wanna get out of the house so another jump to the next day me and my friends meet up with them we did give to walk to their houses bc they needed to get ready but after that we had a bit of fun the bf claimed a roof followed by royal lew and meep who tried but chickened out they told me to clime up but I said hell no I ain’t stupid they also tried getting the brother to but he told them to piss of he then sat of a rubbish bin which o tried to as-well but couldn’t jump high enough until he showed me how.Once we where done we went to the park well except for meep royal and her bf who went to her house to pick up something so me lew and the brother where on our way to the park when we got there we sat in this tunnel looking thing and just started talking to each other me and lew where sitting next to each other when he decided to sit in the middle of us which I thought was weird at the time but said nothing bc I didn’t wanna try make it weird bc again he was 19 but anyway my friends came back and we sat in this tree house looking thing I was mostly sitting with lew when hake moved away for a bit and then the brother sat down next to me I though it was weird bc there was room other places then he put his hand around my shoulder I looked up and royal was just winking at him and me I tried to signal to her that I was uncomfortable but she was still acting like it was nothing I then signalled to meep and unlike royal got the hint right away and thankfully said Alr guys let’s go it’s getting late and said we had to go I then got up and walked with meep royal complaining about leaving said fine and asked them to walk us home which they agreed until after a bit lew told them to go bc she didn’t want them knowing where I lived which I was really thankful for after that royal and her bf kissed goodbye and left which I was gonna do until I felt someone behind me grab my waist and kissed my cheek and gave me paper with his Snapchat I was gonna throw it in a puddle when lew asked what was in my hand so I explained what it was and she said oh how cute and asked if I was gonna add him dis it’s wanting to say no and wanting to tell her what happened I honestly can’t explain it but I just couldn’t but I have her the paper which she added him and made a gc with me him her and royal which was then when they made plans to sneak out with them and go on a night walk they asked me and meep to come which meep said no bc she thought the brother was a creep and I tried to say no but once again with pure pressure said yes royal and lew where to busy getting ready to even thing about meep in which I said hey why don’t I just stay here with meep and keep her company which they laughed and said cmon let’s go,it was 10:30 at night when we snuck out them excited to see them and me paranoid on my mum getting mad about me disappearing when we meet up with them me lew and the brother walking ahead I was holding hands with lew originally but the brother grabbed my hand and so we where all just walking I was ok with it but the thing that threw me off was what royal was saying she was just making very sexual jokes about me and this 19 yr old man which I was uncomfortable with but was to shy to say anything about once we got to the place which was under a bridge we just sat down and talked about stuff lew then went some place else which was then followed by royal and the bf I tried running off but royal told me to stay back so I did now it was just me and the bf brother idk why I didn’t think this would happen but he sat really close to me and that’s when he did it at first he just grabbed my face made out with me which I tried to say no or stop but I was to scared to say thing and then he just started touching me places and I tried with all my might to get him to stop but couldn’t then I heard yells from royal saying she couldn’t find lew me using this as a reason to get away yelled I’ll look for her and tan off I wasn’t actually looking for her though I was on a bathroom trying with all my might to not let out any tears which was really hard then I heard yells so I looked out and realised it was meep who had secretly been following us so I used her as a opportunity to get away and then said hey you guys look for her I’ll leave with meep signalling to her I wanna leave which again she understood and acted tired and said ya I wanna go now so we did which I then turned around and saw the brother just following us I let him follow us idk why but once we where around the block I said to him my house was close and he could go which I waited until he had actually left to start walking home and obviously I wasn’t near my house there was still a twenty minute walk which I just started braking down my friend was just hugging me and said it’s ok and saying what did he do to you which say I don’t know why but I just couldn’t say anything once got home I threw up I could still feel him everywhere in my mouth on my thighs and on my waist and other places I wanted scream all I could think about was how I was such a slut and couldn’t even say anything or stop it I wanted to die I wanted just anything to get the memory and taste out of me I then started telling my self about how worthless I was and how I my mother really did raise a stupid and pathetic person after a bit I fell asleep with my dog next to me (he’s a American bully)so I thought that I could at least have some sort of protection after a bit my friends came back and fell asleep I knew this bc they really don’t come back some quiet and woke me up now this was the last day they where at my house so they all went back to their houses and i really do wish I I could say this was the end I really really do but sadly this was not after going back to school and acting as if everything was fine and nothing was wrong I realised that royal and lew haven’t been to school for a while and the next day lew came to school and I found out that sadly the brother 🍇ed her when I found this out I feel apart I was sick shocked and just didn’t know what to do my friends told her to tell our health teacher she’s the teacher who deals with situations like this so she did the teacher said she could miss a few classes and stay in there with me and meep that was when I told them what happened to me they where both mortified that was then when lew reveille the brother wanted to grape me aswell and even told her he was gonna and how he would ask to hang out and to it at the same place he did to her I was honestly shocked and paralysed with fear remembering how he actually asked to hang out a the other day anyway I then asked her what she wanted to do bc our teacher suggested telling the cops tbh I really didn’t want to bc I was trying to keep this whole thing away from my mum but knew I had to so I walked to the police station with a few other friends and told them everything after that I knew I had to drop royal she literally let everything happen even with lew I’ll explain later with lew but we dropped her now obviously that east’s she was just making up excuses and even said that the brother was forcing her to say and do things and then started yapping about how he forced her to do those things but I saw right threw her lies so did keep but idk why but lew actually believed her until she also finally saw right threw her lies oh also brother actually has a gf who is his age ik real shocked expected her to be 8 anyway recently the cops did find him and I’ve got a meeting with one of them oh another big thing turns out we ARNT the first people he’s sa wanna know the first person he did? Get ready 🥁🥁his fucking brother ya that’s right he literally graped his brother and it gets worse he did it when the boyfriend was fucking 8 anyway I might not update for I bit but I promise there will be one

I want to be hopeful and optimistic but the vast number of online disappointments make it difficult. Here are some things I don't want. Please don't contact me if you are not interested in reading the post. or do not want to talk long term and would be planning on ghosting me or disappearing within 1-2 days.
I am someone who is quite a sweet and effortful person. I would love an online connection with someone similar to me and have good, intellectual conversations and also share some laughter and affection. Affection can light us up and make us happy. (Even platonic connection is fine.) I like giving and receiving affection in the form of cute, little nicknames for each other, checking up on each other, asking about each other.
I hope my words sail to some worthwhile eyes on the winds of destiny.
I have grown wary of superficial connections, no effort replies and even abrupt ghosts.
I would like someone with whom I can exchange sweet words with. I am quite a romantic person and I was more so as earlier. A lot of responsibilities were thrust upon me with time, but I have rediscovered that side of myself. I would love to have a pretend romance with an online companion - where we pretend like we are long lost soul mates and trade fiery words of sweet passion for each other.
But, that is completely optional. I am fine with a wholesome, platonic connection as well.
If you've reached this far, it's because of some happy confluence of my words, the Reddit algorithm and fickle fortune.
Our meeting seemed to dangle so much on fate, it's only fair we pay our dues. Give it our best shot. Do justice to the matchmakers of heaven - The directors of this romance.
I'm on the quest for a sweet companion. Someone with a good heart. Kind and empathetic - Like my own. The good person at the end of the romcom when the attractive antagonists lose their allure.
I love bonding with someone through heart to heart conversation. Through exchanging genuine care and concern. Through passionate exchange of our interests and hobbies. Through clockwork logging of our daily lives. Through mindful curiosity in each other's interests. Through mutual preference for glitter over gold, depth over deception, charm over carelessness and symphonies over superficiality.
The conversation starts out with pleasantaries and outward introduction of our demographic information - the most rudimentary. The most formal. Gradually, the outer layers crack and a mild joke cuts across the mask and we're another layer deep. Common or different tastes in art are the usual social custom for making new acquaintances.
Soon, our conversation flows like a roaring river eliciting deep intellectual and emotional responses from both of us.
We're discussing prized memories and cherished fantasies of the future. Chalking out hypotheticals and admiring the other's world views. Pretty soon, we're suddenly bare and feeling a strong bond by virtue of what we've shared.
Small silences punctuated the conversation. These silences were not awkward. It was a comforting waterfall of connection. It was the silence that followed from both of us knowing and enjoying the bond created by our hearts.
I loved the feeling of ending a conversation with a stranger on the first day with the feeling you've known them for years. I harboured romantic beliefs that such a connection must be the byproduct of a relationship in a previous life !
Here are a few things about me -

• I love staying at home.
• I do not drink or smoke and don't like going to noisy pubs. Although there are times when friends or office parties are conducted there, it's something I just tolerate.
• I love reading. I am interested in programming, Mathematics, Chess, Science, Psychology, Geopolitics, Space, Literature (fantasy particularly or late but I like all kinds) and Self Help (Productivity and Positive Psychology) - and a lot more ! I'm generally intellectually curious and a lifelong learner.
• I love following updates on things I'm passionate about and sharing them regularly. I love following podcasts and blogs and videos on them and sharing and discussing them. I also love explaining a new thing I have learnt as it helps me understand it better.
• I tend to be positive and look at the brighter side of life usually. But I also like sharing the problems I am going through and like listening to your's.
• I love animals. I have a lot of pets. I am also quite close to my family and am surrounded by my loving pets (5 dogs and 4 cats). I recovered from dengue last month and they were always around me all the time. It felt very good.
• I love putting in effort into messages and writing effortful messages and generally use complete words and not much abbreviations. I love crafting a symphony of text.
• I am usually quite calm and supportive and remember things that are told to me in conversation. I like getting emotional and expressive and am soft hearted and sensitive. I am also quite mature and enjoy talking to similarly mature people.

Do not reach out to me if you're just bored, did not read the post, don't like anything about me or my profile or don't know what you want or don't want to invest in having a good connection or don't even have the intention for talking for a few weeks. I am already quite hurt at repeated ghosting so please do not even reach out to me if you intend to ghost by tomorrow or next week.
Here's what I would like from us

• Genuine interest, care and empathy for each other - Making each other a priority though we are strangers at first. That's part of the excitement in jumping head first into this ! That does not mean we do not respect each other's busy schedules or commitments. I'm looking for something really genuine.
• Regular effortful messages, and remembering things the other says
• I love sharing or explaining anything new I learn, whether it is a blog post, podcast, video, book or a general thought that came through my mind. It would be great if you love listening to good explanations and are interested in such things. I'd also love it if you too like sharing blogs or podcasts on topics that you are interested in but it's not necessary.
• I also love self improvement and sharing progress or motivation as we are doing things towards our goals and dreams.
• I love voice calls as I love the sound of voice. I would love it if you are someone who is excited at having regular voice calls (2-3 times a week) or at least exchanging voice messages at times !
• We don't need to have similar taste in art (music, TV shows, movies). I am open to learning about new kinds of interests and new subcultures !
• Openly sharing our thoughts on the bigger ideas and arcs of life and also venting about the smaller frustrations
• Being excited at receiving messages from the other person every time we light each other's phones up.
• [Optional] Some online romance where we sometimes say things to each other that make us blush like our first crush. A little romance to brighten each other up. Though this is completely optional. Sometimes sharing sweet, romantic messages with each other and maybe even doing this on voice calls too.

Also would be nice if we can just share photos so we can visualise what we look like as I like sharing photos when I go somewhere. I just like getting this out of the way. It doesn't matter to me what you look like, but I do like to know whom I'm talking to make us blush like our first crush. A little romance to brighten each other up. Though this is completely optional. Sometimes sharing sweet, romantic messages with each other and maybe even doing this on voice calls too.
Also would be nice if we can just share photos so we can visualise what we look like as I like sharing photos when I go somewhere. I just like getting this out of the way. It doesn't matter to me what you look like, but I do like to know whom I'm talking to.

This story is about a boy who have a trauma from his past ex-girlfriend. Their relationship did not last long but he always experience abuse from his ex like hitting him for no reason. They always argue because of her, always coming home from work drunk, gaslighting him for everything she's doing. It's a very toxic relationship. At first it's not like this but as soon as she lost interest, everything changed. One time, the boy caught her cheating, having an affair with her co-worker, but he just let it slide because the boy loved her ex-girlfriend so much, that even after what he see, he still love her. Good thing though his ex-girlfriend finally decided to break up with him day after that, and of course, the boy let him go. The boy still love her and it's hard for him to move on.
A few months later, he met this new girl on his work named Kayla. Kayla is a pretty girl with a good personality. The boy laid eye on her, can't take his eyes off her for the whole day. Just as he's about to leave his work, Kayla noticed him and approached the boy. "Hey what's your name?" Kayla asked. "My name is Carl" the boy replied. "Carl, that's a cute name, nice meeting you, my name is Karla by the way" said Karla "It's nice meeting you too Karla" said the boy. As they walk nonchalantly, Karla suddenly asked out of the blue, "So, are you doing fine? I heard that your girlfriend just broke up with you a few months ago" Carl replied, "How did you know?" Then Karla said "Well, me and Hannah were talking about you earlier, she told me that you have been going through a lot lately, so i wonder if I can do anything to help? I don't want to see my co-worker being upset" Carl answered, "Why do you even care? I'm just a nobody, my life means nothing.. I don't feel like i deserve to be loved.." Karla then replied "I know life is hard, and it's not true that your life means nothing, you are borned in this world for a reason. And you deserve to be loved, you're a handsome boy, smart and kind, you deserve to be love, you're not just a nobody, you're somebody." Carl then felt a spark in his heart after what Karla said to him. Carl felt something in his face, "am i crying?" He then covered his face, then Karla noticed, "Hey are you crying? Did i say something wrong? It's okay, you can cry, i'm sorry for making you cry" Carl then answered, "I'm fine, thank you Karla." Carl then hugged Karla.
For weeks Carl and Karla have been going out, talking, vibing and even dating. One night after work, Karla asked Carl, "hey so uhm.. I've been wanting to ask you recently" Carl replied "what is it?" "Will you be my boyfriend?" Karla asked, Carl then felt a hesitate after he heard the question, "Is that a no?" Karla asked "Yes, i can be your boyfriend" said Carl. Then Karla hugged him, "I love you Carl" Carl then replied, "I love you too Carla"
After a few days Carl is being anxious lately, Karla noticed and asked Carl, "Darling are you alright? You don't look good for the past few days, i'm getting worried." Carl then replied, "It's just that.." Karla asked "Just what darling? Please say it, i will listen i promise." Carl answered, "It's just that i'm afraid.." Karla replied, "Don't be afraid darling, i will protect you no matter what. If it's about the trauma you felt from your ex-girlfriend, i promise i won't do anything cruel to you, i love you darling, please don't be afraid." Carl then cried and Karla hugged him.
After a few months, their relationship is going pretty well. Carl and Karla love each other so much, they can't be separated no matter what happens, they're always together through thick and thin. But would their relationship last long?
One day after work, Karla is not feeling good. "Darling maybe you should get some rest, you don't look good. While you rest, how about i prepare some food how's that sound?" Said Carl. "Thank you darling, you're so sweet" Karla replied. Then suddenly while Karla is walking to her room, she fainted. "Darling are you alright?" Carl asked. Karla is not waking up, and Carl is worried. Carl picked her up and rushed to his car to get Karla to the Hospital. Luckily Karla made it. In the hospital, Carl asked the doctor if Karla is alright, the Doctor said, "Mr.Carl, i'm sorry to tell you this but.. She has cancer, Stage 3." Carl then suddenly got a heavy heart, shaking and couldn't even speak properly, the doctor then asked Carl to have some rest. Carl is angry and depressed about what he heard.
A month later... Karla is fighting her cancer, Carl supporting Karla by staying with her 24/7. Karla then whispered to Carl "Till death do us part .." Carl doesn't know that that will be her last word to him.. After a week, Karla didn't make it. She died of Cancer. Carl then felt sadness once again.
A day later after Karla's burial, Carl then rush home, tied a rope on the ceiling and said "Till death do us part" softly... And then he hung his self.
"Till death do us part" was their last word. The end.

I want to be hopeful and optimistic but the vast number of online disappointments make it difficult. Here are some things I don't want. Please don't contact me if you are not interested in reading the post. or do not want to talk long term and would be planning on ghosting me or disappearing within 1-2 days.
I am someone who is quite a sweet and effortful person. I would love an online connection with someone similar to me and have good, intellectual conversations and also share some laughter and affection. Affection can light us up and make us happy. (Even platonic connection is fine.) I like giving and receiving affection in the form of cute, little nicknames for each other, checking up on each other, asking about each other.
Of late, I have been watching a lot of couple pranks on YouTube. They teach me a lot about couple dynamics (what kind of dynamics are healthy and what are toxic). It would be nice to have someone to discuss these kinds of dynamics with. Sometimes I like those pranks where one pretends to be angry and the other kind of comforts them. It would be nice if we could enact that sometime.
I hope my words sail to some worthwhile eyes on the winds of destiny.
I have grown wary of superficial connections, no effort replies and even abrupt ghosts.
I would like someone with whom I can exchange sweet words with. I am quite a romantic person and I was more so as earlier. A lot of responsibilities were thrust upon me with time, but I have rediscovered that side of myself. I would love to have a pretend romance with an online companion - where we pretend like we are long lost soul mates and trade fiery words of sweet passion for each other.
But, that is completely optional. I am fine with a wholesome, platonic connection as well.
If you've reached this far, it's because of some happy confluence of my words, the Reddit algorithm and fickle fortune.
Our meeting seemed to dangle so much on fate, it's only fair we pay our dues. Give it our best shot. Do justice to the matchmakers of heaven - The directors of this romance.
I'm on the quest for a sweet companion. Someone with a good heart. Kind and empathetic - Like my own. The good person at the end of the romcom when the attractive antagonists lose their allure.
I love bonding with someone through heart to heart conversation. Through exchanging genuine care and concern. Through passionate exchange of our interests and hobbies. Through clockwork logging of our daily lives. Through mindful curiosity in each other's interests. Through mutual preference for glitter over gold, depth over deception, charm over carelessness and symphonies over superficiality.
The conversation starts out with pleasantaries and outward introduction of our demographic information - the most rudimentary. The most formal. Gradually, the outer layers crack and a mild joke cuts across the mask and we're another layer deep. Common or different tastes in art are the usual social custom for making new acquaintances.
Soon, our conversation flows like a roaring river eliciting deep intellectual and emotional responses from both of us.
We're discussing prized memories and cherished fantasies of the future. Chalking out hypotheticals and admiring the other's world views. Pretty soon, we're suddenly bare and feeling a strong bond by virtue of what we've shared.
Small silences punctuated the conversation. These silences were not awkward. It was a comforting waterfall of connection. It was the silence that followed from both of us knowing and enjoying the bond created by our hearts.
I loved the feeling of ending a conversation with a stranger on the first day with the feeling you've known them for years. I harboured romantic beliefs that such a connection must be the byproduct of a relationship in a previous life !
Here are a few things about me -

• I love staying at home.
• I do not drink or smoke and don't like going to noisy pubs. Although there are times when friends or office parties are conducted there, it's something I just tolerate.
• I love reading. I am interested in programming, Mathematics, Chess, Science, Psychology, Geopolitics, Space, Literature (fantasy particularly or late but I like all kinds) and Self Help (Productivity and Positive Psychology) - and a lot more ! I'm generally intellectually curious and a lifelong learner.
• I love following updates on things I'm passionate about and sharing them regularly. I love following podcasts and blogs and videos on them and sharing and discussing them. I also love explaining a new thing I have learnt as it helps me understand it better.
• I tend to be positive and look at the brighter side of life usually. But I also like sharing the problems I am going through and like listening to your's.
• I love animals. I have a lot of pets. I am also quite close to my family and am surrounded by my loving pets (5 dogs and 4 cats). I recovered from dengue last month and they were always around me all the time. It felt very good.
• I love putting in effort into messages and writing effortful messages and generally use complete words and not much abbreviations. I love crafting a symphony of text.
• I am usually quite calm and supportive and remember things that are told to me in conversation. I like getting emotional and expressive and am soft hearted and sensitive. I am also quite mature and enjoy talking to similarly mature people.

Do not reach out to me if you're just bored, did not read the post, don't like anything about me or my profile or don't know what you want or don't want to invest in having a good connection or don't even have the intention for talking for a few weeks. I am already quite hurt at repeated ghosting so please do not even reach out to me if you intend to ghost by tomorrow or next week.
Here's what I would like from us

• Genuine interest, care and empathy for each other - Making each other a priority though we are strangers at first. That's part of the excitement in jumping head first into this ! That does not mean we do not respect each other's busy schedules or commitments. I'm looking for something really genuine.
• Regular effortful messages, and remembering things the other says
• I love sharing or explaining anything new I learn, whether it is a blog post, podcast, video, book or a general thought that came through my mind. It would be great if you love listening to good explanations and are interested in such things. I'd also love it if you too like sharing blogs or podcasts on topics that you are interested in but it's not necessary.
• I also love self improvement and sharing progress or motivation as we are doing things towards our goals and dreams.
• I love voice calls as I love the sound of voice. I would love it if you are someone who is excited at having regular voice calls (2-3 times a week) or at least exchanging voice messages at times !
• We don't need to have similar taste in art (music, TV shows, movies). I am open to learning about new kinds of interests and new subcultures !
• Openly sharing our thoughts on the bigger ideas and arcs of life and also venting about the smaller frustrations
• Being excited at receiving messages from the other person every time we light each other's phones up.
• [Optional] Some online romance where we sometimes say things to each other that make us blush like our first crush. A little romance to brighten each other up. Though this is completely optional. Sometimes sharing sweet, romantic messages with each other and maybe even doing this on voice calls too.

Also would be nice if we can just share photos so we can visualise what we look like as I like sharing photos when I go somewhere. I just like getting this out of the way. It doesn't matter to me what you look like, but I do like to know whom I'm talking to make us blush like our first crush. A little romance to brighten each other up. Though this is completely optional. Sometimes sharing sweet, romantic messages with each other and maybe even doing this on voice calls too.
Also would be nice if we can just share photos so we can visualise what we look like as I like sharing photos when I go somewhere. I just like getting this out of the way. It doesn't matter to me what you look like, but I do like to know whom I'm talking to.

POLY ONLY NEED APPLY.
Dnt bother if your gonna want this as a sex only relationship. It's not what I want.
I'm looking for an actual relationship. Meaning, I want good morning and good night texts. I want to know about you, not just want you can do in the bedroom. I want PDA and dates.
I have a husband. I'm looking for a long term boyfriend.
Now if you read all that and your still here... I'm 33yr old female, no kids, 1 fur baby, who loves to read, watch anime and sleep! I'm 5'5 and 300lbs. Im a bbw (yes omg that means I'm fat) who is cute asf.
If you reply to me: tell me about you. And give me your favorite song.

Hey guys. My mom has always been really unwell mentally but It's getting to a point where I feel like I need to start making a plan for her.
I grew up with drug-addicted parents but my mom was the one who stuck it out and stayed with me. She no longer does drugs ( She was mostly just drugged by my dad, But occasionally she did meth herself so she could stay up later and work longer hours) but shes a hoarder. It's weird to say but she "hoarded me" too. She didn't tell any of my family members that we didn't have hot water or access to heating or food for years. CPS came to my house and my aunt took me in when she found out when i turned 14. She gets very angry when I bring it up, even just the hoarding or advice about curbing her spending. She always has. My mom has been evicted at least 4 times, I lost count. She never showered regularly or brushed her teeth regularly or took care of herself regularly at all. It's gotten to the point where her health is so bad that she can no longer hold in her urine very well. She now constantly smells like urine, and leaks urine in her daipers everywhere she sits.
The worst part is that she's a nurse. She takes people's blood on a regular basis. She is completely functional at her job. But when it comes to being around me in person, she almost sounds psychotic. She points out parts of my body that she thinks are cute and funny because they've "developed" so i look "grown". Im 29 years old. She keeps trying to sleep in my bed whenever I visit because she wants to cuddle with me. I'm having to explain with her that i have boundaries that are healthy but she just doesn't understand and she doesn't really care. She just sits and watches TV and pees on herself.
I moved across the country and have lived across the country for about 2 years. She often sounds intelligent over the phone, but when I visit she acts like a sad little puppy. Her car is filled completely to the brim with her hoard. Even walking up the stairs makes her so tired that she makes a big deal out of it. She wants pity really badly from me and whenever I visit I have to pay for everything. She gives me a lot of bullshit reasons why she doesn't have money, but she works more than 40 hours a week. Her rent is only $400 because she lives in a spare room that her friend has. I tell her this doesn't add up and she just gets angry with me and starts talking about how she keeps pissing herself and passing out at her job from period blood loss because her health is deteriorating. The doctor's really struggle to diagnose her because she didn't have a papsmear in over 30 years. (Which I don't believe but they have no idea how to prove it or disprove it)
The thing is my mom is mentally unwell but she does a lot of this to herself, And she acts like she has no idea so I have no idea if she's playing a martyr or if she's actually unwell. My boyfriend says that I have to just let her be her, she acts so sad and pathetic around me, it guilt trips me so badly. And it sucks because my mom is so friendly to everyone so people love her. She even tells me things like " Your number one you can do anything! You're such an amazing person you're better than anyone else in the world!!" At first I used to love the attention but I realized later I think her entire interactions with me are starting to verge on love bombing. And when I'm physically around her she sees me as a source of pity and attention. But she's also peeing on herself now and her health is deteriorating so bad that she can barely climb stairs or walk far distances. Shes only 58. Yet she drinks multiple bottles of Mountain Dew daily. Her mother was severely depressed, wasted away on the couch for years, and died from an anurism at 62.
When do you step in? This is going to sound incredibly harsh but... do your parents have to earn that help? My mom has been mentally ill my entire life so I have no idea what she's supposed to act like. I've never had a normal parent, I don't know where to start I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I already told myself that I would never take care of my father but I have no idea what to do with my mother. She's convinced all my family members to pity her but they would never lend her money. She's just acts so pathetic that people feel sorry for her and I don't really know what to do because she's way stronger and better than that. Every time I tried to talk to her about her retirement she just brings up my dad and how he ruined her life, It's almost like she just doesn't want to move forward and only wants to lean on me. She hypnotized by the television too, Even as a child I noticed that my mom would miss appointments and completely destroy vacations ( There rare ones that we were able to have) by getting stuck just watching tv.
Please help me figure out what I am supposed to do with her. I have to remind her to change her diaper so she doesn't smell like piss when I visit. When I visit her it feels like I'm dealing with a toddler... Do you think her brain is deteriorating? How the hell is she still able to do her job?? This doesn't add up and I feel gas lit I don't know how to feel I don't know what to do....

Hey guys. My mom has always been really unwell mentally but It's getting to a point where I feel like I need to start making a plan for her.
I grew up with drug-addicted parents but my mom was the one who stuck it out and stayed with me. She no longer does drugs ( She was mostly just drugged by my dad, But occasionally she did meth herself so she could stay up later and work longer hours) but shes a hoarder. It's weird to say but she "hoarded me" too. She didn't tell any of my family members that we didn't have hot water or access to heating or food for years. CPS came to my house and my aunt took me in when she found out when i turned 14. She gets very angry when I bring it up, even just the hoarding or advice about curbing her spending. She always has. My mom has been evicted at least 4 times, I lost count. She never showered regularly or brushed her teeth regularly or took care of herself regularly at all. It's gotten to the point where her health is so bad that she can no longer hold in her urine very well. She now constantly smells like urine, and leaks urine in her daipers everywhere she sits.
The worst part is that she's a nurse. She takes people's blood on a regular basis. She is completely functional at her job. But when it comes to being around me in person, she almost sounds psychotic. She points out parts of my body that she thinks are cute and funny because they've "developed" so i look "grown". Im 29 years old. She keeps trying to sleep in my bed whenever I visit because she wants to cuddle with me. I'm having to explain with her that i have boundaries that are healthy but she just doesn't understand and she doesn't really care. She just sits and watches TV and pees on herself.
I moved across the country and have lived across the country for about 2 years. She often sounds intelligent over the phone, but when I visit she acts like a sad little puppy. Her car is filled completely to the brim with her hoard. Even walking up the stairs makes her so tired that she makes a big deal out of it. She wants pity really badly from me and whenever I visit I have to pay for everything. She gives me a lot of bullshit reasons why she doesn't have money, but she works more than 40 hours a week. Her rent is only $400 because she lives in a spare room that her friend has. I tell her this doesn't add up and she just gets angry with me and starts talking about how she keeps pissing herself and passing out at her job from period blood loss because her health is deteriorating. The doctor's really struggle to diagnose her because she didn't have a papsmear in over 30 years. (Which I don't believe but they have no idea how to prove it or disprove it)
The thing is my mom is mentally unwell but she does a lot of this to herself, And she acts like she has no idea so I have no idea if she's playing a martyr or if she's actually unwell. My boyfriend says that I have to just let her be her, she acts so sad and pathetic around me, it guilt trips me so badly. And it sucks because my mom is so friendly to everyone so people love her. She even tells me things like " Your number one you can do anything! You're such an amazing person you're better than anyone else in the world!!" At first I used to love the attention but I realized later I think her entire interactions with me are starting to verge on love bombing. And when I'm physically around her she sees me as a source of pity and attention. But she's also peeing on herself now and her health is deteriorating so bad that she can barely climb stairs or walk far distances. Shes only 58. Yet she drinks multiple bottles of Mountain Dew daily. Her mother was severely depressed, wasted away on the couch for years, and died from an anurism at 62.
When do you step in? This is going to sound incredibly harsh but... do your parents have to earn that help? My mom has been mentally ill my entire life so I have no idea what she's supposed to act like. I've never had a normal parent, I don't know where to start I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I already told myself that I would never take care of my father but I have no idea what to do with my mother. She's convinced all my family members to pity her but they would never lend her money. She's just acts so pathetic that people feel sorry for her and I don't really know what to do because she's way stronger and better than that. Every time I tried to talk to her about her retirement she just brings up my dad and how he ruined her life, It's almost like she just doesn't want to move forward and only wants to lean on me. She hypnotized by the television too, Even as a child I noticed that my mom would miss appointments and completely destroy vacations ( There rare ones that we were able to have) by getting stuck just watching tv.
Please help me figure out what I am supposed to do with her. I have to remind her to change her diaper so she doesn't smell like piss when I visit. When I visit her it feels like I'm dealing with a toddler... Do you think her brain is deteriorating? How the hell is she still able to do her job?? This doesn't add up and I feel gas lit I don't know how to feel I don't know what to do....

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 months. We met in college and after a little while he ended up asking me out. We are both freshman but in different majors. He’s a genuinely nice guy, it’s just recently, I struggle to see him as a boyfriend, rather more of just a friend and have kinda been questioning our relationship. We live multiple states away and I don’t know if I can do long distance while still being excited to see each other. My friends at home have told me to just wait it out, but in all honestly, it’s been two weeks into summer break and calling him, rather than making me happy to see/talk to him, has started to just wear me out. We try to call almost night and I’ve tried to think of different things to talk about or games we can play during the day or on call, but none of them have seemed to work when we tried them over other school breaks.
Also, as of now, we have very different plans for our futures. We have a few years till we graduate, but if we struggle with long distance and want to live hours away from each other after school anyway, what’s best to do now? Plan can always change, but for now we both seem pretty dead set on what we want to do.
I know I should talk to him about how I’ve been feeling and the doubts I’ve been having, but I just can’t see him taking it well. If I still have these thoughts and feelings for another few weeks, I will probably bring it up so we can talk about it together.
Here’s where another main issue is. We have the same main group of friends, which was all very close this last semester. There’s 5 of us in all and it’s a rather small school. It’s been brought up multiple times how cute we are as a couple and how sad it would be for the friend group if we broke up. I am scared about what would happen if we did break up, and I just can’t not think about how awkward that would make everyone else feel as well.
I genuinely can’t tell if I ever really liked him romantically in the first place or if it was just first semester of college chaos and he was just there and comforting me during that. I don’t want to hurt him but I am having so many doubts right now. Either way I’m planning to wait a few weeks to see if anything changes, but please let me know your opinions. I just don’t feel like I can really talk to any one of my friends who actually saw us together, since they’re all his friends too. What do you think I should do?
Edit: I would also like to mention that he really helped me out first semester for a bit more background. I ended up with a pretty bad first roommate who just wasn’t very good. She was either always there with a boyfriend, or not there at all. And when she was there, she would always have her back to me or just wouldn’t talk or say anything directly to me. During the first few weeks I was struggling to make friends and socialize with people. I just was not really doing well mentally. I started to just sleep for large amounts of the day because it made me feel a bit better. I met two people from my sports team first(F19 and F18) who then led me to meet my boyfriend. After a few weeks he and his roommate allowed me to go to his room whenever I wanted since mine had pretty much become uncomfortable to me anytime she was in there.