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...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
A few days pass. Unbeknownst to humanity, Unarin decisively dispatches some of his 5th and 6th Level Psions to assist Diablo's goals of planetary conquest. At the same time, he also adds in more than a hundred thousand High Technopath Warriors, frontline combatants outfitted with lethal weaponry embedded into every inch of their bodies. These warriors, unlike mindless automatons, fight with biological intuition and the power of technological supremacy. When the Volgrim combine their forces with that of the demons, they multiply Diablo's planetary capture speed severalfold, allowing him to take new worlds in just a few hours, sometimes even only a single hour.
But humanity doesn't know about this, aside from the Wordsmiths using their special spying methods. Rather, they remain fully focused on the planetary migration efforts.
All across Tarus II, more and more humans, demons, and monsters make key decisions about whether they will immigrate or whether they will remain on Tarus II.
Kiari and Saul pause outside the Northern Immigration Center.
"Nah. None of these." Saul says to his fiance. "I like our cabin just fine. It's in a good spot. It's secluded. And most of the demons and monsters are staying on Tarus II anyway, right?"
Kiari rubs her belly. Already, she's begun to develop the tiniest baby bump.
"Yeah. I don't wanna go anywhere, either. Oh, hey, Beelzebub!"
Kiari waves cheerfully to a certain Demon Emperor nearby. Beelzebub casually walks over and waves back.
"You two moving?" Beelzebub asks, sticking his hands in the pockets of his slacks.
"We decided against that." Saul answers. "How about you?"
"I'm staying. Obviously." Beelzebub says with a shrug. "Where else am I gonna go? Pixiv, with the fairies? They only want humans. Maiura? That's not an option. One of those 'secret' places Jason's been yammering about? Humans and monsters only."
"You could live on Hell Harbor. Or Sharmur!" Kiari chirps cutely with her eyes turning upward into crescent moons. "I hear Diablo's had a few Dukes reconstructing Hell Harbor after the Archangel attack."
Beelzebub waves his hand in a flippant manner. "Pass. I'm good with staying here. Besides, whenever I leave Tarus II, I always feel a bit... weaker. It's as if I'm more powerful when I'm here, but I can't deduce why for the life of me."
He taps his chin thoughtfully. "Could just be my imagination. Who knows."
"Well, I'm glad you're sticking around!" Kiari says. "You've had it rough, and you've done bad things, but I feel you're a good guy at heart."
"It's nice someone believes in me." Beelzebub says with a smile. "If anyone comes to cause trouble here, I'll kick 'em out of the star system myself."
"That's the spirit!" Saul laughs.
...
Meanwhile, at the Western Immigration Center, other people also congregate together, pondering where they belong.
"Daddy!" Lily Brown exclaims, stomping her feet. "I don't WANNA!"
"We've stayed here long enough." Benjamin Brown says, gently squeezing his daughter's arm. "Tarus II is in a precarious situation. I don't feel this place is safe. We have to return to Hell Harbor now that the Slithering Spire is finished with its reconstruction efforts."
"You can go if you want." Lily says, crossing her arms and turning away from her father defiantly. "I heard Beli is staying here. That means I am too! Besides, I've made lots of friends with the humans. I don't want to go back to Hell Harbor."
"What you want is not up for debate here, young lady." Benjamin Brown says, his face darkening. "I am your father. You will do as I say."
"No, I won't!" Lily shoots back. "I'm already twenty-four years old, daddy! I'm an adult. I can make my own decisions! Or are you really going to treat me like a little girl for the rest of my life?!"
"That's not what I mean, and you know it!" Benjamin barks back. "Dammit, this is for your own good. Stop chasing that succubus and use your head for once! The First Wordsmith is too lackadaisical to lead this planet to any long-lasting good times. You can't trust his judgment."
"Who said anything about the stupid Wordsmith??" Lily asks, bewildered. "I don't care about him. I've never even met him! I only care about Beli and my friends. No matter what you say, I'm staying here. And that's FINAL."
"You... you!" Benjamin roars. "You're just like your mother!"
"What? Strong and independent?" Lily scoffs. "Don't be mad because she left you, daddy. I'm making my own choices. If you try to force me back to Hell Harbor, I'll just sneak away. And if you lock me in a dungeon, you'll be proving what a piece of work you are!"
"I... I don't even know what to say." Benjamin Brown says, dismayed. "Fine. Alright? You want to pull the mother card, be like that. You can stay here. I need to return to Hell Harbor, though. I have too many things that require my attention."
He pauses. He looks around for a moment, frowning.
"You know, Lily. If... if you're not near me, I can't protect you."
"Protect me? Why would I need your protection?" Lily scoffs. "I'm a nobody. There ain't no demons gunning for me."
"That isn't entirely true..." Benjamin mutters, as his thoughts turn to a certain prison warden. "Look, I had a friend make you this necklace. It has a special savior beacon built into it. If you ever need me, activate it. Daddy will come running, no matter where you are in the galaxy. It has trans-dimensional properties so even if you're 90,000 lightyears away, I should be able to track you down."
Lily crinkles her nose. "Be honest. This is just your way of keeping tabs on me, isn't it?"
Benjamin chuckles. "Not by any means. I want to make sure you're safe, sweetheart. Your brothers and sisters are all grown up, off doing their own thing. You're... the only one I have left. The others haven't spoken to me in ages."
Lily's heart softens as she notices the pained look on Benjamin's face.
"Daddy... daddy, don't cry, okay? It's not- I'll keep the necklace, okay? And I'll call you regularly, maybe even pay a visit to Hell Harbor once in a while. I'm just gonna be... living here for the moment. Staying independent!"
Benjamin sighs. "Alright, baby girl. You keep yourself safe then. Don't ever take that necklace off, alright?"
"I won't, daddy. Bye now!"
...
"Pixiv, is it?" A young man at the Southern Immigration Center asks. "Of course it would be for you, sir. I'm just surprised she's going too."
Lieutenant Samuel Baker glances at the woman standing beside him, Private Ashley Mccarthy. As one of humanity's foremost powerhouses, capable of transforming into an orc at will even without her Power Glove, she has attracted a lot of attention of late, attention she doesn't particularly enjoy.
"I'm hoping the fairies can help me." Ashley says, crossing her arms. "I don't get why I have to transform into a stupid ugly orc. I wanna be able to turn into a cute and dainty fairy, like Lieutenant Baker."
"Hey." Samuel growls at her. "I do NOT look cute and dainty. I look... masculine as hell. Man, if I could trade my crappy fairy transformation with you, I'd be HAPPY to do it."
"Well, even the Wordsmiths can't fix this problem, so I doubt the fairies can." Ashley grouches. "But I've gotta at least try! Plus, I heard there's going to be a special task force assembled when we reach the fairies. Seems they have some sort of mission that will be really beneficial for us. At least that's the word on the grapevine."
"That's what I've heard too." Samuel says. "In any case, who else is coming to Pixiv?"
"Some of the other soldiers." Ashley answers. "Especially ones who've prematurely gained transformations through the Power Glove. I hear the majority of them have signed up for a transfer to Pixiv. The Felorians, too!"
"Even them?" Samuel asks, his eyes shining with surprise. "It seems Pixiv is the destination of choice for magically-enhanced humans. Interesting."
"I hear Mister Yamir is planning to expand his restaurant enterprise to multiple worlds in one go." The young man running the sign-up line says. "He's going to build a restaurant on Sharmur, Hell Harbor, Pixiv, anywhere that will take him. It seems his food is so popular nobody wants to turn him down!"
"That minotaur has some real business acumen." Ashley says, rubbing her chin. "I heard that the goblins have been acting similarly too. They're going to all the different worlds! Seems they don't have any specific attachments to Tarus II."
"So if all these bigshots are going to other worlds, who's staying here?" Samuel asks.
"Lots of allied demons, mostly." Ashley answers. "Plenty of monsters. Not too many humans. There is Miss Hiro, but that much is expected. I heard Hans Wagner is packing up to go to Maiura, actually. His base on Tarus's moon, Kelkin, has been where he does most of his inventing stuff, but it's a pretty inconvenient location. He wants to put his boots on normal planet ground for once."
"General Chadwick is going with Commander Neil to Maiura." The young male recruiter adds. "Oh! And have you heard of the Cybernites? Seems they've been busy helping work on some big tech project alongside Neil's inventors, including Hans Wagner."
"Dang." Samuel mutters. "We're really all splitting up, huh? Everyone's going to different places."
"It's better this way." Ashley says. "Trying to get all these different people to work together was like herding cats. Personally I'm looking forward to seeing how everything shakes out in the end."
"You know what?" Samuel asks. "Me too, Ashley. Me too."
...
Near the Eastern side of the Fortress of Retribution's upper plateau.
At the edge of the city, a notable structure stands tall, a magical privacy field of immense power surrounding it to isolate all the goings-on inside. This building happens to be none other than the Archangel's church, a place where Uriel lives following her bodily transformation back into her original self. Despite still technically possessing the body of a Demon Duke, she now seems identical to her physical form from more than 100,000 years prior to her death during the War in Heaven.
Inside the church, a male human and a pair of female angels stand opposite the four Archangels. Siddhartha Gautama, Cassiel, and Soleil all look at Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Uriel with differing expressions.
"I don't understand." Cassiel says softly. "Why would you want to leave, Raphael?"
The Archangel of Wisdom shakes his head. He looks at the floor with a complicated expression.
"Verily, this decision was not one I wished to make." Raphael says, his words slow and deliberate. "My alliance with the First Wordsmith hath grown tenuous over many a recent day, but not in any recent weeks hath he deigned to speak to me. Meanwhile, my relationship with the Second Wordsmith art still somewhat warm."
"There is no point in our remaining on Tarus II." Michael explains. "We do not wish to reside upon a world primarily populated by monsters and bloodskins. The majority of humanity hath opted to travel to Maiura, and so too shall we go with them."
Gabriel nods. "Humans art our allies. Why stay? Better to migrate where the humans have gone."
Soleil frowns. "That might be true, I suppose. But us having to depart all of a sudden still feels quite abrupt."
"Do not misunderstand." Raphael quickly says. "Cassiel, thou art still the Daughter of Heaven. Thou needeth not walk in our footsteps. T'would be best if Soleil and thee remaineth here while my siblings and I go to Maiura. In this way, we can spread the word of the Creator in two locations at once."
"Oh. I see..." Cassiel says, lowering her eyes. A look of sadness fills her gaze, as well as more than a hint of loneliness. "I... I don't know if I'm strong enough to stay here all by myself."
"Now now," Buddha interjects, "you will not be alone, little one. I'll stay with you, as will Soleil. Additionally, you seem to have made a new acquaintance in that Belial, yes? Perhaps this would be a good time to spread your wings and meet new people."
"Buddha's right!" Soleil says excitedly. "Cass, this is a great chance for you to make lots of new friends!!"
"New friends..." Cassiel says hesitantly. "Y-yes. I suppose... that would be... nice."
Uriel and her brothers exchange a knowing glance. She turns and walks over to Cassiel, squeezing her shoulder lovingly.
"We shalt leave this church to thee, little one. Do with it whatever thou dost desire. It shalt be thy home, and perhaps a meeting place for those who wish to bear witness to thy future rise."
Michael also takes a step forward. "Daughter of Heaven. I consider thyself a sister in spirit, if not in blood. Therefore, what I am about to say, I hope thou doth understand I speak it with only the best of intentions."
He pauses.
"Thou requireth power. Spiritual power. Faith energy. We Archangels cans't truly live well on the energy supplied by that hateful bloodskin, Barbatos, but thy vessel is not the same as ours. As a Lazarite, thou requireth Faith Energy to keep thy spirit burning. I hope thou shalt pursue it in the hopes of elevating thyself to a level where none can oppress thee."
"Thou art the last living hope of our species." Gabriel adds. "We Archangels live on as mere sparks of light, but thou art a burning star with unlimited potential. Please live well in our absence."
Cassiel looks at each of the Archangels in kind. She nods at each one of them, etching their loving words on her heart.
"Very well. Faith Energy. I'll do what I can, brothers, sister. Perhaps, if I have a chance, I'll even come to visit you all on Maiura sometime."
"That would indeed be delightful." Raphael says with a jovial chuckle. "Fare thee well then, little one. We shalt take our leave."
With a nod from each of the four Archangels, they merge back into Uriel's body, and she strides out the church doors, leaving Buddha, Cassiel, and Soleil behind.
As Buddha watches Uriel depart, he narrows his eyes menacingly, but neither of the women notices this subtle action.
Raphael...
...................................
"Everyone. Thank you for coming today." Hope Hiro says, as he stands before a throng of people all gathered together inside a massive church-like building. This facility, erected on the planet of Maiura a good distance away from the main cities and towns, stands alone, isolated within the wilderness. Dense trees and foliage would even be visible through the windows if they weren't made of stained glass, depicting images of numerous ancient Heroes of myth.
The people standing before Hope nod in unison. They say nothing, instead waiting for Hope to continue his speech.
Among these people is Henry Cliff. He looks at Hope with reverence and respect that even borders on unbridled idol worship. In his eyes, Hope Hiro is his savior, his one path back to greatness, a chance he cannot afford to miss.
Without Hope, he is nobody. A civilian who will only ever live in the shadow of better men.
"As of today," Hope continues, "the tallies are in. This is it. Those of you who have signed on to be a part of my Parahuman Corps are the only ones who leaped to such a decision. I am truly grateful for your faith in me."
Hope pauses. His gaze sweeps across not only Henry, but all the people present.
"Before I continue, is it just my imagination or are a good number of you not actually service-members? I seem to be seeing quite a few civilians present."
One man in the front row nods nervously. "Y-yes, Commander Hiro, sir. I'm Mikael. I didn't join the military originally, but when I heard about your Parahuman Corps, it really struck a cord with me. If I can become strong enough to protect myself from demons, that would be amazing!"
Hope frowns. "Your motives aren't exactly pure, Mikael. The power I'm about to bestow upon all of you will indeed strengthen your bodies, but without a foundation of military training, do you truly think you'll be able to accomplish much? Not a chance. Expect to endure some grueling military drills tailored to your enhanced physique before I set you loose in the world of ordinary humans."
He returns his eyes to the others. "That goes for all of you. Yes, you will be able to obtain great strength in the easiest manner possible. But allow me to disabuse you all of the notion that this pathway to easy power will make you as strong as a Demon Emperor, or a Duke, or even a Baron. If you have no combat techniques, then you're just a big strong infant waiting to be executed by any remotely competent opponent! A complete pushover!"
The Wordsmith doesn't mince his words. "Submitting to Jepthath's power is a serious rite of passage. If your hearts are impure, he will reject you! You will have to head out and join the common folks on Maiura, hanging your head in shame and knowing you weren't good enough to join the elites!"
He looks around one last time. "With all that said, are any of you here having second thoughts?!"
"Sir, no sir!" The crowd roars, their collective voices momentarily making Hope's ears ring. He mutters a quick Word of Power under his breath to fix that issue, then he motions with his hand and immediately summons the Dominion Rod into his grasp.
"Here is how this is going to work." Hope says. "I shall manifest the image of Jepthath into reality. Look up to him. Pray to him. Accept him in your heart. When you hear his words in your mind, you will have the option to accept or deny his offer. Those who accept will become Jepthath's Chosen, the Illuminators of the future, Parahumans who tower above their fellow man! But as for those who are unworthy? You will remain with the common rabble."
Seeing decisive looks on everyone's faces, Hope smiles. "Alright then. Let us begin."
He holds up the Shepherd's Staff, and the gem in the center of its upper crook immediately begins to glow a bright white. At that moment, a phantasmal figure materializes in the air, his massive image towering thirty feet high. The top of his head seemingly scrapes the ceiling of the makeshift church, making everyone present gasp in amazement.
"My children." Jepthath says, holding out his hands in a welcoming gesture. He smiles like a kind old grandfather at them. "Hear me now. I am the First Hero. I am the Illuminator. I light the path for those to follow. To those who are attuned to my strength, greater benefits will be available. Perhaps, among you, there may even be a special soul possessing the highest affinity to my power. If so, he may be capable of mimicking my full power without reservation! But, doubtless, there will be those among you lacking in affinity entirely."
He sighs. "That is unfortunate, but it is how things are. Now, pray to me. Reach out with your heart, mind, and soul. Feel the touch of my Light..."
A warm aura spreads out of Jepthath's towering form. It washes across the massed crowd, making many of them feel snug and cozy. They close their eyes and pray earnestly to the Illuminator, sometimes opening their eyes to look up at him as they feel Jepthath's power surge into their bodies.
"I feel it!" One woman cries out. "The strength! The power! Uwaaaa!!"
Her muscles bulge dramatically. Her shirt rips in several places, and her height increases by half a foot. She roars mightily to the heavens as a large fraction of Jepthath's power enters her body and Mind Realm.
"I feel it too!" Another man cries. "Power! Overwhelming! Aaaaahh!!"
He, and many others like him, roar in ecstasy as Jepthath's power begins rapidly bolstering one person after another.
Strangely, Henry Cliff doesn't feel anything at first. But when the power starts to trickle into his bloodstream, a voice speaks in his head.
[There you are, boy. Lord Henry of the Illuminators. I have been expecting you for a while, young one.]
Henry blinks. The world around him slows to a stop as he looks up at Jepthath in shock.
[You... know my name?] Henry asks.
[Indeed I do.] Jepthath says with a smile. [Not long ago, Hope performed a ritual that allowed me to make initial contact with all of humanity. However, my power could not flow through them until they agreed to this ritual. It was then that I felt your strength for the first time. You are more formidable than you believe, my child.]
Henry looks down in shame. [You must be thinking of someone else, Great Illuminator. I am nothing at all. A mere nobody. A sinner.]
[You call yourself a sinner? Silly child. I am friends with the Greatest Sinner.] Jepthath chides gently. [King Arthur committed a crime far worse than you could imagine, yet he is still remembered as a legend. In the future, so too shall you join him among humanity's greats.]
Henry looks up again. [I... will?]
[Your compatibility with my power... is perfect.] Jepthath answers, visibly satisfied. [Look! Your body has not swelled up at all! Unlike the others who balloon in strength because their souls are impure, your willpower is formidable enough to reject the corruption of my nascent soul. It is for this reason that I have decided to name you... My Champion.]
Boom!
A massive detonation of energy explodes inside Henry's body. He staggers in surprise, as instead of great pain, waves of ecstasy flood his vessel. He can't help but release a moan of pleasure as his mind seemingly unlocks its full potential, his muscles pulsate with a strength greater than he ever could have imagined, and his soul condenses into its purest form.
[Power!] Henry exclaims. [I feel it! I feel... so much power!]
"Uaaaaahh!!" Henry roars as he tilts his head up to the ceiling. "I am a mortal no more! I am your champion, Jepthath!"
Hope's eyes sparkle as he looks at the previously ordinary-seeming young man. He looks up at Jepthath, who smiles back at him, answering his unspoken question with a single gaze.
But suddenly, in the midst of this joyous occasion, Jepthath's image changes color from a loving and calm blue to a dangerous shade of red. His eyes narrow as he snaps his gaze around the room.
"WHERE?!" Jepthath roars, his piercing eyes jumping from one human to another. "YOU! It's YOU!!" Jepthath snarls, stabbing a finger toward a random woman in the crowd.
That woman freezes in place, like a deer in the headlights. Hope looks at her. All the other humans do too, everyone turning in unison as they feel a deep, nauseating rejection from her entirety.
"Human... she's not HUMAN!" Henry growls, balling his hands into fists. "She's not one of us! She's a CHANGELING!!"
Panicked, the woman starts to push through the crowd, but in an instant, tens of hands latch onto her from every angle, grabbing her arms, shirt, hair, and neck. They pin her in place while Henry walks through the crowd with eyes full of bloodlust. He grins wickedly and nods his head as he stomps toward the woman.
"Trying to sell us out, you filthy infiltrator?! TOO BAD! This is where your story ends!!"
In an instant, he lunges forward and punches his fist at the woman's stomach.
SPLURT!!
He rams his arm through her gut and blasts her entrails backward, spraying off-colored blood on the Parahumans behind her. The woman's mouth opens reflexively, and she vomits blood, unable to stop herself.
"N-no! Guhuk! Mis-misunderstanding! We- COUGH!!"
"Spare us your pitiful begging." Henry sneers, before sweeping his arm upward, tearing through her body with ease.
RIIIIIP!
A sickening series of snapping bones sounds off in the room like a series of firecrackers. A second later, the woman sags lifelessly in the grasp of those present. They release her, and allow her to collapse into a puddle of blood at her feet.
Just when it seems the madness is over, Henry slowly turns around to look at another person in the crowd behind him.
"Heh heh heh. You stupid bastard. Did you think I missed you, too?"
"Wait!" The man screams. "This isn't what you think! We're just supposed to observe-"
He doesn't get to finish his sentence. Henry snaps toward him, rears his fist back, and sends it flying at the Changeling's head. So unfathomable is his strength that he blasts apart the man's head like a watermelon, showering the people behind him with bits of blood, bone, and brain matter.
Hope watches, silently, as Henry performs these acts. He nods with approval, even directing a small smile Henry's way.
"Hardcore, Henry."
Before the ceremony fully comes to an end, Henry kills another three Changelings, ensuring that not a single one manages to make it out alive and report news of what happened to the Founders.
It will be some time before they come to realize the significance of the events that transpired on this day...

A few days pass. Unbeknownst to humanity, Unarin decisively dispatches some of his 5th and 6th Level Psions to assist Diablo's goals of planetary conquest. At the same time, he also adds in more than a hundred thousand High Technopath Warriors, frontline combatants outfitted with lethal weaponry embedded into every inch of their bodies. These warriors, unlike mindless automatons, fight with biological intuition and the power of technological supremacy. When the Volgrim combine their forces with that of the demons, they multiply Diablo's planetary capture speed severalfold, allowing him to take new worlds in just a few hours, sometimes even only a single hour.
But humanity doesn't know about this, aside from the Wordsmiths using their special spying methods. Rather, they remain fully focused on the planetary migration efforts.
All across Tarus II, more and more humans, demons, and monsters make key decisions about whether they will immigrate or whether they will remain on Tarus II.
Kiari and Saul pause outside the Northern Immigration Center.
"Nah. None of these." Saul says to his fiance. "I like our cabin just fine. It's in a good spot. It's secluded. And most of the demons and monsters are staying on Tarus II anyway, right?"
Kiari rubs her belly. Already, she's begun to develop the tiniest baby bump.
"Yeah. I don't wanna go anywhere, either. Oh, hey, Beelzebub!"
Kiari waves cheerfully to a certain Demon Emperor nearby. Beelzebub casually walks over and waves back.
"You two moving?" Beelzebub asks, sticking his hands in the pockets of his slacks.
"We decided against that." Saul answers. "How about you?"
"I'm staying. Obviously." Beelzebub says with a shrug. "Where else am I gonna go? Pixiv, with the fairies? They only want humans. Maiura? That's not an option. One of those 'secret' places Jason's been yammering about? Humans and monsters only."
"You could live on Hell Harbor. Or Sharmur!" Kiari chirps cutely with her eyes turning upward into crescent moons. "I hear Diablo's had a few Dukes reconstructing Hell Harbor after the Archangel attack."
Beelzebub waves his hand in a flippant manner. "Pass. I'm good with staying here. Besides, whenever I leave Tarus II, I always feel a bit... weaker. It's as if I'm more powerful when I'm here, but I can't deduce why for the life of me."
He taps his chin thoughtfully. "Could just be my imagination. Who knows."
"Well, I'm glad you're sticking around!" Kiari says. "You've had it rough, and you've done bad things, but I feel you're a good guy at heart."
"It's nice someone believes in me." Beelzebub says with a smile. "If anyone comes to cause trouble here, I'll kick 'em out of the star system myself."
"That's the spirit!" Saul laughs.
...
Meanwhile, at the Western Immigration Center, other people also congregate together, pondering where they belong.
"Daddy!" Lily Brown exclaims, stomping her feet. "I don't WANNA!"
"We've stayed here long enough." Benjamin Brown says, gently squeezing his daughter's arm. "Tarus II is in a precarious situation. I don't feel this place is safe. We have to return to Hell Harbor now that the Slithering Spire is finished with its reconstruction efforts."
"You can go if you want." Lily says, crossing her arms and turning away from her father defiantly. "I heard Beli is staying here. That means I am too! Besides, I've made lots of friends with the humans. I don't want to go back to Hell Harbor."
"What you want is not up for debate here, young lady." Benjamin Brown says, his face darkening. "I am your father. You will do as I say."
"No, I won't!" Lily shoots back. "I'm already twenty-four years old, daddy! I'm an adult. I can make my own decisions! Or are you really going to treat me like a little girl for the rest of my life?!"
"That's not what I mean, and you know it!" Benjamin barks back. "Dammit, this is for your own good. Stop chasing that succubus and use your head for once! The First Wordsmith is too lackadaisical to lead this planet to any long-lasting good times. You can't trust his judgment."
"Who said anything about the stupid Wordsmith??" Lily asks, bewildered. "I don't care about him. I've never even met him! I only care about Beli and my friends. No matter what you say, I'm staying here. And that's FINAL."
"You... you!" Benjamin roars. "You're just like your mother!"
"What? Strong and independent?" Lily scoffs. "Don't be mad because she left you, daddy. I'm making my own choices. If you try to force me back to Hell Harbor, I'll just sneak away. And if you lock me in a dungeon, you'll be proving what a piece of work you are!"
"I... I don't even know what to say." Benjamin Brown says, dismayed. "Fine. Alright? You want to pull the mother card, be like that. You can stay here. I need to return to Hell Harbor, though. I have too many things that require my attention."
He pauses. He looks around for a moment, frowning.
"You know, Lily. If... if you're not near me, I can't protect you."
"Protect me? Why would I need your protection?" Lily scoffs. "I'm a nobody. There ain't no demons gunning for me."
"That isn't entirely true..." Benjamin mutters, as his thoughts turn to a certain prison warden. "Look, I had a friend make you this necklace. It has a special savior beacon built into it. If you ever need me, activate it. Daddy will come running, no matter where you are in the galaxy. It has trans-dimensional properties so even if you're 90,000 lightyears away, I should be able to track you down."
Lily crinkles her nose. "Be honest. This is just your way of keeping tabs on me, isn't it?"
Benjamin chuckles. "Not by any means. I want to make sure you're safe, sweetheart. Your brothers and sisters are all grown up, off doing their own thing. You're... the only one I have left. The others haven't spoken to me in ages."
Lily's heart softens as she notices the pained look on Benjamin's face.
"Daddy... daddy, don't cry, okay? It's not- I'll keep the necklace, okay? And I'll call you regularly, maybe even pay a visit to Hell Harbor once in a while. I'm just gonna be... living here for the moment. Staying independent!"
Benjamin sighs. "Alright, baby girl. You keep yourself safe then. Don't ever take that necklace off, alright?"
"I won't, daddy. Bye now!"
...
"Pixiv, is it?" A young man at the Southern Immigration Center asks. "Of course it would be for you, sir. I'm just surprised she's going too."
Lieutenant Samuel Baker glances at the woman standing beside him, Private Ashley Mccarthy. As one of humanity's foremost powerhouses, capable of transforming into an orc at will even without her Power Glove, she has attracted a lot of attention of late, attention she doesn't particularly enjoy.
"I'm hoping the fairies can help me." Ashley says, crossing her arms. "I don't get why I have to transform into a stupid ugly orc. I wanna be able to turn into a cute and dainty fairy, like Lieutenant Baker."
"Hey." Samuel growls at her. "I do NOT look cute and dainty. I look... masculine as hell. Man, if I could trade my crappy fairy transformation with you, I'd be HAPPY to do it."
"Well, even the Wordsmiths can't fix this problem, so I doubt the fairies can." Ashley grouches. "But I've gotta at least try! Plus, I heard there's going to be a special task force assembled when we reach the fairies. Seems they have some sort of mission that will be really beneficial for us. At least that's the word on the grapevine."
"That's what I've heard too." Samuel says. "In any case, who else is coming to Pixiv?"
"Some of the other soldiers." Ashley answers. "Especially ones who've prematurely gained transformations through the Power Glove. I hear the majority of them have signed up for a transfer to Pixiv. The Felorians, too!"
"Even them?" Samuel asks, his eyes shining with surprise. "It seems Pixiv is the destination of choice for magically-enhanced humans. Interesting."
"I hear Mister Yamir is planning to expand his restaurant enterprise to multiple worlds in one go." The young man running the sign-up line says. "He's going to build a restaurant on Sharmur, Hell Harbor, Pixiv, anywhere that will take him. It seems his food is so popular nobody wants to turn him down!"
"That minotaur has some real business acumen." Ashley says, rubbing her chin. "I heard that the goblins have been acting similarly too. They're going to all the different worlds! Seems they don't have any specific attachments to Tarus II."
"So if all these bigshots are going to other worlds, who's staying here?" Samuel asks.
"Lots of allied demons, mostly." Ashley answers. "Plenty of monsters. Not too many humans. There is Miss Hiro, but that much is expected. I heard Hans Wagner is packing up to go to Maiura, actually. His base on Tarus's moon, Kelkin, has been where he does most of his inventing stuff, but it's a pretty inconvenient location. He wants to put his boots on normal planet ground for once."
"General Chadwick is going with Commander Neil to Maiura." The young male recruiter adds. "Oh! And have you heard of the Cybernites? Seems they've been busy helping work on some big tech project alongside Neil's inventors, including Hans Wagner."
"Dang." Samuel mutters. "We're really all splitting up, huh? Everyone's going to different places."
"It's better this way." Ashley says. "Trying to get all these different people to work together was like herding cats. Personally I'm looking forward to seeing how everything shakes out in the end."
"You know what?" Samuel asks. "Me too, Ashley. Me too."
...
Near the Eastern side of the Fortress of Retribution's upper plateau.
At the edge of the city, a notable structure stands tall, a magical privacy field of immense power surrounding it to isolate all the goings-on inside. This building happens to be none other than the Archangel's church, a place where Uriel lives following her bodily transformation back into her original self. Despite still technically possessing the body of a Demon Duke, she now seems identical to her physical form from more than 100,000 years prior to her death during the War in Heaven.
Inside the church, a male human and a pair of female angels stand opposite the four Archangels. Siddhartha Gautama, Cassiel, and Soleil all look at Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Uriel with differing expressions.
"I don't understand." Cassiel says softly. "Why would you want to leave, Raphael?"
The Archangel of Wisdom shakes his head. He looks at the floor with a complicated expression.
"Verily, this decision was not one I wished to make." Raphael says, his words slow and deliberate. "My alliance with the First Wordsmith hath grown tenuous over many a recent day, but not in any recent weeks hath he deigned to speak to me. Meanwhile, my relationship with the Second Wordsmith art still somewhat warm."
"There is no point in our remaining on Tarus II." Michael explains. "We do not wish to reside upon a world primarily populated by monsters and bloodskins. The majority of humanity hath opted to travel to Maiura, and so too shall we go with them."
Gabriel nods. "Humans art our allies. Why stay? Better to migrate where the humans have gone."
Soleil frowns. "That might be true, I suppose. But us having to depart all of a sudden still feels quite abrupt."
"Do not misunderstand." Raphael quickly says. "Cassiel, thou art still the Daughter of Heaven. Thou needeth not walk in our footsteps. T'would be best if Soleil and thee remaineth here while my siblings and I go to Maiura. In this way, we can spread the word of the Creator in two locations at once."
"Oh. I see..." Cassiel says, lowering her eyes. A look of sadness fills her gaze, as well as more than a hint of loneliness. "I... I don't know if I'm strong enough to stay here all by myself."
"Now now," Buddha interjects, "you will not be alone, little one. I'll stay with you, as will Soleil. Additionally, you seem to have made a new acquaintance in that Belial, yes? Perhaps this would be a good time to spread your wings and meet new people."
"Buddha's right!" Soleil says excitedly. "Cass, this is a great chance for you to make lots of new friends!!"
"New friends..." Cassiel says hesitantly. "Y-yes. I suppose... that would be... nice."
Uriel and her brothers exchange a knowing glance. She turns and walks over to Cassiel, squeezing her shoulder lovingly.
"We shalt leave this church to thee, little one. Do with it whatever thou dost desire. It shalt be thy home, and perhaps a meeting place for those who wish to bear witness to thy future rise."
Michael also takes a step forward. "Daughter of Heaven. I consider thyself a sister in spirit, if not in blood. Therefore, what I am about to say, I hope thou doth understand I speak it with only the best of intentions."
He pauses.
"Thou requireth power. Spiritual power. Faith energy. We Archangels cans't truly live well on the energy supplied by that hateful bloodskin, Barbatos, but thy vessel is not the same as ours. As a Lazarite, thou requireth Faith Energy to keep thy spirit burning. I hope thou shalt pursue it in the hopes of elevating thyself to a level where none can oppress thee."
"Thou art the last living hope of our species." Gabriel adds. "We Archangels live on as mere sparks of light, but thou art a burning star with unlimited potential. Please live well in our absence."
Cassiel looks at each of the Archangels in kind. She nods at each one of them, etching their loving words on her heart.
"Very well. Faith Energy. I'll do what I can, brothers, sister. Perhaps, if I have a chance, I'll even come to visit you all on Maiura sometime."
"That would indeed be delightful." Raphael says with a jovial chuckle. "Fare thee well then, little one. We shalt take our leave."
With a nod from each of the four Archangels, they merge back into Uriel's body, and she strides out the church doors, leaving Buddha, Cassiel, and Soleil behind.
As Buddha watches Uriel depart, he narrows his eyes menacingly, but neither of the women notices this subtle action.
Raphael...
...................................
"Everyone. Thank you for coming today." Hope Hiro says, as he stands before a throng of people all gathered together inside a massive church-like building. This facility, erected on the planet of Maiura a good distance away from the main cities and towns, stands alone, isolated within the wilderness. Dense trees and foliage would even be visible through the windows if they weren't made of stained glass, depicting images of numerous ancient Heroes of myth.
The people standing before Hope nod in unison. They say nothing, instead waiting for Hope to continue his speech.
Among these people is Henry Cliff. He looks at Hope with reverence and respect that even borders on unbridled idol worship. In his eyes, Hope Hiro is his savior, his one path back to greatness, a chance he cannot afford to miss.
Without Hope, he is nobody. A civilian who will only ever live in the shadow of better men.
"As of today," Hope continues, "the tallies are in. This is it. Those of you who have signed on to be a part of my Parahuman Corps are the only ones who leaped to such a decision. I am truly grateful for your faith in me."
Hope pauses. His gaze sweeps across not only Henry, but all the people present.
"Before I continue, is it just my imagination or are a good number of you not actually service-members? I seem to be seeing quite a few civilians present."
One man in the front row nods nervously. "Y-yes, Commander Hiro, sir. I'm Mikael. I didn't join the military originally, but when I heard about your Parahuman Corps, it really struck a cord with me. If I can become strong enough to protect myself from demons, that would be amazing!"
Hope frowns. "Your motives aren't exactly pure, Mikael. The power I'm about to bestow upon all of you will indeed strengthen your bodies, but without a foundation of military training, do you truly think you'll be able to accomplish much? Not a chance. Expect to endure some grueling military drills tailored to your enhanced physique before I set you loose in the world of ordinary humans."
He returns his eyes to the others. "That goes for all of you. Yes, you will be able to obtain great strength in the easiest manner possible. But allow me to disabuse you all of the notion that this pathway to easy power will make you as strong as a Demon Emperor, or a Duke, or even a Baron. If you have no combat techniques, then you're just a big strong infant waiting to be executed by any remotely competent opponent! A complete pushover!"
The Wordsmith doesn't mince his words. "Submitting to Jepthath's power is a serious rite of passage. If your hearts are impure, he will reject you! You will have to head out and join the common folks on Maiura, hanging your head in shame and knowing you weren't good enough to join the elites!"
He looks around one last time. "With all that said, are any of you here having second thoughts?!"
"Sir, no sir!" The crowd roars, their collective voices momentarily making Hope's ears ring. He mutters a quick Word of Power under his breath to fix that issue, then he motions with his hand and immediately summons the Dominion Rod into his grasp.
"Here is how this is going to work." Hope says. "I shall manifest the image of Jepthath into reality. Look up to him. Pray to him. Accept him in your heart. When you hear his words in your mind, you will have the option to accept or deny his offer. Those who accept will become Jepthath's Chosen, the Illuminators of the future, Parahumans who tower above their fellow man! But as for those who are unworthy? You will remain with the common rabble."
Seeing decisive looks on everyone's faces, Hope smiles. "Alright then. Let us begin."
He holds up the Shepherd's Staff, and the gem in the center of its upper crook immediately begins to glow a bright white. At that moment, a phantasmal figure materializes in the air, his massive image towering thirty feet high. The top of his head seemingly scrapes the ceiling of the makeshift church, making everyone present gasp in amazement.
"My children." Jepthath says, holding out his hands in a welcoming gesture. He smiles like a kind old grandfather at them. "Hear me now. I am the First Hero. I am the Illuminator. I light the path for those to follow. To those who are attuned to my strength, greater benefits will be available. Perhaps, among you, there may even be a special soul possessing the highest affinity to my power. If so, he may be capable of mimicking my full power without reservation! But, doubtless, there will be those among you lacking in affinity entirely."
He sighs. "That is unfortunate, but it is how things are. Now, pray to me. Reach out with your heart, mind, and soul. Feel the touch of my Light..."
A warm aura spreads out of Jepthath's towering form. It washes across the massed crowd, making many of them feel snug and cozy. They close their eyes and pray earnestly to the Illuminator, sometimes opening their eyes to look up at him as they feel Jepthath's power surge into their bodies.
"I feel it!" One woman cries out. "The strength! The power! Uwaaaa!!"
Her muscles bulge dramatically. Her shirt rips in several places, and her height increases by half a foot. She roars mightily to the heavens as a large fraction of Jepthath's power enters her body and Mind Realm.
"I feel it too!" Another man cries. "Power! Overwhelming! Aaaaahh!!"
He, and many others like him, roar in ecstasy as Jepthath's power begins rapidly bolstering one person after another.
Strangely, Henry Cliff doesn't feel anything at first. But when the power starts to trickle into his bloodstream, a voice speaks in his head.
[There you are, boy. Lord Henry of the Illuminators. I have been expecting you for a while, young one.]
Henry blinks. The world around him slows to a stop as he looks up at Jepthath in shock.
[You... know my name?] Henry asks.
[Indeed I do.] Jepthath says with a smile. [Not long ago, Hope performed a ritual that allowed me to make initial contact with all of humanity. However, my power could not flow through them until they agreed to this ritual. It was then that I felt your strength for the first time. You are more formidable than you believe, my child.]
Henry looks down in shame. [You must be thinking of someone else, Great Illuminator. I am nothing at all. A mere nobody. A sinner.]
[You call yourself a sinner? Silly child. I am friends with the Greatest Sinner.] Jepthath chides gently. [King Arthur committed a crime far worse than you could imagine, yet he is still remembered as a legend. In the future, so too shall you join him among humanity's greats.]
Henry looks up again. [I... will?]
[Your compatibility with my power... is perfect.] Jepthath answers, visibly satisfied. [Look! Your body has not swelled up at all! Unlike the others who balloon in strength because their souls are impure, your willpower is formidable enough to reject the corruption of my nascent soul. It is for this reason that I have decided to name you... My Champion.]
Boom!
A massive detonation of energy explodes inside Henry's body. He staggers in surprise, as instead of great pain, waves of ecstasy flood his vessel. He can't help but release a moan of pleasure as his mind seemingly unlocks its full potential, his muscles pulsate with a strength greater than he ever could have imagined, and his soul condenses into its purest form.
[Power!] Henry exclaims. [I feel it! I feel... so much power!]
"Uaaaaahh!!" Henry roars as he tilts his head up to the ceiling. "I am a mortal no more! I am your champion, Jepthath!"
Hope's eyes sparkle as he looks at the previously ordinary-seeming young man. He looks up at Jepthath, who smiles back at him, answering his unspoken question with a single gaze.
But suddenly, in the midst of this joyous occasion, Jepthath's image changes color from a loving and calm blue to a dangerous shade of red. His eyes narrow as he snaps his gaze around the room.
"WHERE?!" Jepthath roars, his piercing eyes jumping from one human to another. "YOU! It's YOU!!" Jepthath snarls, stabbing a finger toward a random woman in the crowd.
That woman freezes in place, like a deer in the headlights. Hope looks at her. All the other humans do too, everyone turning in unison as they feel a deep, nauseating rejection from her entirety.
"Human... she's not HUMAN!" Henry growls, balling his hands into fists. "She's not one of us! She's a CHANGELING!!"
Panicked, the woman starts to push through the crowd, but in an instant, tens of hands latch onto her from every angle, grabbing her arms, shirt, hair, and neck. They pin her in place while Henry walks through the crowd with eyes full of bloodlust. He grins wickedly and nods his head as he stomps toward the woman.
"Trying to sell us out, you filthy infiltrator?! TOO BAD! This is where your story ends!!"
In an instant, he lunges forward and punches his fist at the woman's stomach.
SPLURT!!
He rams his arm through her gut and blasts her entrails backward, spraying off-colored blood on the Parahumans behind her. The woman's mouth opens reflexively, and she vomits blood, unable to stop herself.
"N-no! Guhuk! Mis-misunderstanding! We- COUGH!!"
"Spare us your pitiful begging." Henry sneers, before sweeping his arm upward, tearing through her body with ease.
RIIIIIP!
A sickening series of snapping bones sounds off in the room like a series of firecrackers. A second later, the woman sags lifelessly in the grasp of those present. They release her, and allow her to collapse into a puddle of blood at her feet.
Just when it seems the madness is over, Henry slowly turns around to look at another person in the crowd behind him.
"Heh heh heh. You stupid bastard. Did you think I missed you, too?"
"Wait!" The man screams. "This isn't what you think! We're just supposed to observe-"
He doesn't get to finish his sentence. Henry snaps toward him, rears his fist back, and sends it flying at the Changeling's head. So unfathomable is his strength that he blasts apart the man's head like a watermelon, showering the people behind him with bits of blood, bone, and brain matter.
Hope watches, silently, as Henry performs these acts. He nods with approval, even directing a small smile Henry's way.
"Hardcore, Henry."
Before the ceremony fully comes to an end, Henry kills another three Changelings, ensuring that not a single one manages to make it out alive and report news of what happened to the Founders.
It will be some time before they come to realize the significance of the events that transpired on this day...

My father passed away a few months ago. My daughter and I were living with my father. In 2018 my daughter passed away in the house. Not even a month later my father had a lot of cardiac problems and wasn't well. My father wanted me to stay here and take care of him. I was his only caretaker for the next 5 years. At his request ! My parents are separated but it came a time that he couldn't do his banking/bills. My mother took over all the accounts & bills. At which time she told me that when my father passed there would be money about $30k for me to use right away and then when the house was sold and the estate things would be divided up amongst the 4 kids. She completely denies ever saying that and right after my father passed she told me I had 60 days to get a job, an apartment, and move out of the home. Am just really crushed inside and have to suck it up. . Also I was getting paid part time to take care of my father by the state. It's been 60 days and the house is sold. The sale of the house will be divided amongst us four kids. His will states to divide things evenly.. . Now here's the big question. The house sold for $230k. My brother never asked my father for any financial help. I borrowed money from time to time but I paid back all my debt. I had my own home and worked 2 jobs but always paid my own mortgage.. My sister has a 2nd mortgage on my fathers house for approximately $45k( the total debt on the house in about $130k) . When the house is sold that will be paid. There is another sister that owed a couple thousand but not too much. Am I the asshole to say that the debt against the house that was used to bail my sister out of her debt should absolutely be considered. She disagrees and thinks after her debt and the other debt then the remaining amount be divided evenly.
The other 3 siblings all own their own homes. I don't own a home now. I don't even know what I'm doing cause I don't know when or how much to even figure that out. I feel like I'm being punished for taking care of our father. And it wasn't always easy and it certainly prevented him from bothering anyone. The money thing weighs on me heavily cause I want it to be fair. When I worked and made good money I always helped my sister and never asked for a penny back. Please Help!!!! I would like to hear some honest opinions Please

I know having a favorite person is a BPD trait. I don’t have BPD but ADHD and autism, and my cPTSD has a tendency of me latching on to a person who initially shows me a lot of desire and pursues me. It makes me feel validated and worthy.
I have a friend I met through work who came on strong and then became a very good friend. We could talk about everything, he said I’m one of his closest friends outside of work, etc. He’s in an open relationship (which yes, yikes, I know) and we’ve hooked up a handful of times, so in addition to our relationship being emotionally and platonically close, there’s a fair amount of flirtation and play. I’ve become obsessed with his attention and feel devastated when I don’t get it. For the longest time I thought it was just a crush on my end but I now realized I’m not even physically attracted to him and the illusion is wearing off. It’s as if I get dopamine to him and I’m addicted? A lot of his behaviors are a turn off and I get bored talking to him, yet I’m still obsessed with his validation and can’t get myself to transition to a less dependent friendship. In essence, this is literally me fawning.
Does anyone else struggle with this? How do I detach without cutting it off? We work together so I obviously don’t want to ghost, nor do I feel ghosting is healthy? I just want our friendship to be a regular healthy friendship without me deriving dopamine as a way of validation.

Hello! First time posting here but I really need some advice. I have a 9 year old female cat named Koda (the love of my life). She has never lived with another cat before, only small dogs. Whenever I tried introducing her to other cats at a younger age she was very angry and upset so I felt it best just to let her do her thing and enjoy her time with smaller dogs. She is very shy around new people and places but gets used to things and then starts to come around. Now, here is where I need the advice. I just graduated college and my boyfriend’s mom is very kindly letting us stay with her rent free for the next year to pay off some loans. Great, right? Well about a month ago she adopted a female kitten and I thought Koda would be fine with the kitten but she did NOT like it. She was already stressed being in a new house and the kitten was too much for her. I decided to try to find some solutions to help her before moving in. Well then today my boyfriend’s mom let us know that she got another kitten, a boy because she felt that the first kitten was lonely. Now I’m at a loss and I don’t know how to introduce them without Koda becoming a stressed mess and the kittens becoming scared of the old mean cat in the back bedroom. Some notes that may help with giving advice: 1. Koda has moved with me before but was the first animal in the house so that she could establish where she was at, then the dog came second (except when we first got her as a kitten and I had my yorkie). She has never moved into a house where she is not the first cat/animal there. 2. After about a month she got along fine with the dog! She’s used to playing with dogs, getting up high and teasing them until they chase her. 3. She’s interested in other cats, just not used to other animals in her space. She has never shared a litter box or food. She isn’t protective over food but she will be eating different food as she is so much older. 4. I move in all my stuff on June 22nd, however she isn’t fully moving until July 1st when I get back from vacation. I can start introducing her sooner rather than later, and my plan was to let her explore the house on her own with the kittens locked away for the first few visits, then lock her up in our bedroom while the kittens explore, then let them meet. However, the last time we tried to introduce Koda to the kitten (when it was 8 weeks old) she flipped her lid.
Any advice would be appreciated. I’ve never handled a situation like this before and want to make sure I do it right.

For those of you who don’t know, there are several wikis for villains.
One of them is called Pure Evil wiki (which, in short, is about villains with no redeeming or sympathetic qualities), the second is called Near Pure Evil wiki (Which, in short, is about villains with almost no redeeming or sympathetic qualities but they still can’t qualify for the Pure Evil wiki for some reason. However, there are other cases where a villain can be Near Pure Evil even if they don't have any redeemable qualities like slightly lacking moral agency or slightly failing the heinous standard of the series because they don't go the extra mile in terms of crimes). There is also a third wiki called the Inconsistently Heinous wiki (which, in short, is about characters who have committed awful crimes, but they still have too many redeeming and sympathetic qualities and excuses for their actions to qualify as Pure Evil or Near Pure Evil). The name “Inconsistently Heinous” means that the characters are too inconsistent in their heinousness to be Near Pure Evil and they need to have many redeeming and sympathetic qualities and/or excuses for their actions. Often times Inconsistently Heinous characters can even be morally ambiguous heroes in the stories they are depicted, but they also do some bad things along the way.
Tyrion and Cersei from ASOIAF are both listed on the Inconsistently Heinous wiki which means they have both done some terrible things, but they can't qualify as Pure Evil or Near Pure Evil because they have excuses for they actions and many redeeming qualities and sympathetic moments.
The characters who listed on the Pure Evil wiki in the books are Joffrey, Ramsay, Gregor, Rorge, Craster, Euron and Maegor Targaryen.
The characters who listed on the Near Pure Evil wiki in the books are Tywin, Littlefinger, Roose Bolton, Walder Frey, Lothar Frey, Kraznys mo Nakloz, Aerys Targaryen, Lo Bu, Janos Slynt, Varamyr Sixskins, Rossart, Joron I Blacktyde, Khal Moro and Wyl of Wyl. There are of course many more characters who could fit on the Near Pure Evil wiki, but so far those are the only ones who have been proposed.
At this point, Tyrion has armed the clans from the mountains and has incited them to attack and pillage the Vale and has expressed a desire to reduce it to ash through said attacks (which gives him a higher body count than Cersei), has given the Antler's men to Joffrey to be brutally tortured and killed, has killed a singer and had his body cooked into stew and fed to poor people, has murdered his former girlfrined Shae and has raped at least one sex slave out of spite, yet many fans think he is a good person or at least a "grey character" who deserves to get a happy ending.
At the same time, Cersei, who has suffered a lot throughout her life and who has lived in fear her whole life that she and her children would get killed which is what fuels most of her actions as she is trying to protect her family and her killing Robert and her actions against Ned are also fueled by trauma from the rapes she has endured and by a desire to save herself and her children from an unjust execution which is enforced by the sexist laws of Westeros who say that a woman who cheats on her husband should be executed while him cheating on her is fine, is somehow "irredeemably evil" and she apparently desrves to be punished and apparently doesn't deserve a chance to change unlike Tyrion even though the two of them have both terrible things.
The way in which Cersei is judged for her actions even though a lot of fans would do them if they were in her place and they think she is "evil" and should be punished, while they give free pass to other characters who do equally horrible things (and sometimes for far less justifiable reason like with Tywin who has suffered FAR LESS than Cersei throughout his life and doesn't even have the excuse that he believes he and his children are going to die if he doesn't do what he does and doesn't have the excuse of being brought by someone like himself) and they don't think the characters they like are "evil" or should be punished for their actions is one of the biggest double standards I have seen.
This is a list of the terrible actions Tyrion has done:

• He crushed the musician Marillion's fingers out of spite.
• He took revenge on Lysa Arryn for imprisoning him by arming the mountain clans with new weapons and armors and then goaded them into attacking the villages of the Vale. While those raids are not shown, from what is described in the books by other people and what is presented about the mountain clans, it is still clear that they were devastating for the people of Vale. Tyrion himself even thought about how the Vale is going to be "reduced to a smoking wasteland" which further shows the destructive nature of his plan.
• While he has a soft spot for underdogs, he has no problem with armies raiding, killing, raping and burning villages down, saying it is just a part of war.
• He seemingly allowed Allar Deem to take the black in and go to the Night's Watch but instead he ordered the captain who was transporting him to throw him off-board on their way to the Wall (granted, Allar Deem had it coming for killing an innocent woman and her baby).
  • He then replaced him with Bronn, someone who is just as amoral. When asked if he would kill a baby without question, Bronn replied he wouldn't kill one without asking how much.
• When Cersei had a prostitute captured, Tyrion threatened that any harm that would come to the prostitute, including rape, he would inflict upon Tommen who is his nephew and a child. When he hears that the prostitute had been whipped bloodily (which was actually done by Tywin, but at the time Tyrion thinks it's Cersei), he thinks with sadness about how he is going to have to do the same to Tommen because otherwise Cersei would win which heavily indicates his threat was actually true.
• When Varys informs him that a large group of men called the Antler Men were planning to sabotage the defenses of the city and let Stannis conquer it, Tyrion has them all arrested and gives them to Joffrey to be brutally tortured and killed. Joffrey nailed antlers to their heads and then shot them with trebuchets against the enemy forces and Tyrion doesn't seem to feel any remorse about it.
• Even though he knew his nephew Joffrey is not the rightful heir to Robert Baratheon and would be a terrible and cruel king, he still supported his claim to the throne and organized the defense of King's Landing against Stannis' forces. His plan to use wildfire to destroy Stannis' fleet which killed many of the sailors, including Davos' four sons, and his management over the defense of the city is what ensured that Joffrey would remain in power.
• He ordered Bron to kill a singer who was trying to extort him. He then ordered him to get rid of the body by giving it to an inn to be cooked into a stew which was then fed to the poor people of King's Landing who didn't even suspect they were eating human flesh.
• When he learned the truth about Tysha, he swore revenge on his entire family, including Jaime, who loved him. He even lied about killing Joffrey and confessed that Cersei is cheating on Jaime, just for the sake of hurting him.
• While he was escaping from execution, he killed his former lover Shae on his way for giving false testimony against him. This act is presented as more heinous than it is in the show because in the books Shae doesn't try to kill him but instead starts apologizing to him and says that she was forced to testify against her will by Tywin and she was too afraid to refuse but Tyrion kills her anyway.
• He shot his father, Tywin Lannister, with a crossbow and killed him (granted, Tywin had it coming for all the abuse he put Tyrion through and for his other actions).
• After his kills his father, he takes a drastic turn for the worst, becoming more cynical and bitter than ever.
• He often fantasizes about hurting his family, often of him raping and strangling Cersei to death. He also fantasizes about Jaime and Cersei's heads on spikes.
• In the fifth book, he goes into a brothel, and even after learning that the girls there are sex slaves who were kidnapped from their homelands and forced to please men against their will, he still forced himself on one of them even after he saw that she is uncomfortable with it.
  • He also threatened to rape another sex slave in Illyrio's mansion as he commented that he is going to claim her after his dinner with Illyrio. He even threatens that if he kills her, her master wouldn't mind because Tyrion is more important to him than some sex slave. The only reason why Tyrion threatens her like that is because he enjoys seeing her afraid of him.
• He manipulated Jon Connington and Young Griff to attack Westeros early, leading to more war and death in Westeros.
• When he became a slave, he took the opportunity when one of the guards gets sick, to feed him poisoned mushrooms, so he can watch him die (though the guard had it coming for his mistreatment of Tyrion and the other slaves).

Tyrion and Cersei have both done terrible things and they both have a lot of excuses for their actions as well as redeeming and sympathetic qualities, but fans only think one of them is "evil" and think that only one of them deserves sympathy and a chance to get better.
This is a list of Cersei's redeeming and sympathetic qualities for reference:

• She loves her family members except for Tyrion (more specifically, her children,her father, Tywin and her mother, Joanna). She is very protective of her children, doesn't want them to die and constantly fears for their safety.

1. When her son Joffrey dies, she breaks down over his corpse and cries and then she stays with his corpse and mourns it for days. At one point, she has a nice dream where Joffrey is still alive and she marries her brother, Jaime.
2. She is angry when Tyrion sends her daughter, Myrcella, to Dorn without her permission and starts threatening him. She breaks down into tears when he mentions that if Myrcella stays, she could be killed in the coming battle. She is also shocked when she learns that Myrcella has lost one of her ears.
3. In the fourth book she gets very protective of her son, Tommen, after the death of Joffrey. When Tommen chokes on his wine, she is afraid that someone had poisoned him, quickly stands up and goes to him to help. When she discovers that no one has poisoned him, she goes away and starts crying. During her imprisonment by the Faith Militant, she constantly thinks about her son and how she wants to go back to him. When she goes back to him, she starts spending a lot more time with him than ever before because she was relieved to see him again after her long imprisonment.
4. At one point, she had a nightmare where Tyrion has tied her up. She begs him to spare her kids, even though in the dream her own life is in danger.
5. She loves her father as she wants his respect, constantly thinks about what he would do and is sad when he dies.
6. She loves her mother. She blames her younger brother, Tyrion, for "killing" her mother because this is what she saw from her father. She also mentions to Sansa that when she was a little girl she prayed to the Gods to give her mother back.

• Another prevention is that Cersei is a bit too tragic and her tragedy holds up. She lost her mother at the age of 7, she was born in a highly sexist society where women are inferior to men and she had to witness every day how she and Jaime would be treated differently (one example is that Jaime was groomed to be Tywin's heir because he was a boy, even though Cersei was older than him) and this treatment made Cersei extremely resentful of her status.

1. At the age of 10, Cersei received a prophecy from Maggy that all of her kids would die, that a younger and more baeutiful queen would take everything she holds dear and then Cersei herself would be killed by her younger brother. Needless to say, this made Cersei very paranoid about her life and the lives of her children and made her even more abusive towards Tyrion because she believes that he is the younger brother from the prophecy. A lot of the crimes that are listed above are an attempt to prevent this prophecy from happening and saving her children and herself.
2. Another aspect that makes her tragic is that her father, Tywin, was neglectful most of the time and he was a brutal ruler who taught his kids that they should be merciless, that they should care about morality only about the end results and so on. There is enough evidence that Cersei was seriously affecte by this upbringing. For example, on one occasion, while she is torturing the Blue Bard, she feels bad for him and wants to stop the torture. But then, she remembers that her father would probably be ashamed of her sign of weakness and he wouldn't do something like that, so she continues with the torture.
3. She was married to Robert Baratheon, who cheated on her and abused her by sometimes even raping her which also has an affect on her because she feels powerless during the rapes and she doesn't want this to happen again.
4. In the world of Westeros if it's discovered that she had cheated on her husband with Jaime, she and all of her kids would be executed. The reason why she kills Robert and Ned is because she wants to protect her life and the life of her kids from execution.
5. In general, she has suffered from systematic sexism for most of her life starting from childhood where she and Jaime were treated differently because of their gender and Jaime was groomed to become the heir to Casterly Rock while she was groomed to be married off despite being older than her brother. When she was married to her husband, she also suffered from the sexism of her society because her husband was allowed to cheat on her while if she was caught cheating, she and her entire family would be executed. She was also raped because there was no definition of marital rape in Westeros.
6. She suffers from a lot of insecurities (about being a woman, winning her father's approval, being fit to rule, etc.). She also has insecurities about not having any friends and she immediately decides to befriend the first woman she meets in the fourth book simply because she doesn't want to feel lonely.

• On one occasion, after Ned gives her a chance to escape with her children from the city before he reports to Robert that she had been cheating on him, Cersei tells him that because of this she would allow him to go back to Winterfell and live out the rest of his life if he kneels to Joffrey and swears fealty to him. Ned doesn't do it and he ends up dead for this reason, but there is no indication Cersei wouldn't have kept her word if he had accepted and she still doesn't agree with Joffrey executing him.
• Even though she is rude to Sansa, she still tries to give her advice about how to rule as a Queen, about the specifics of the female body and that she shouldn't love too many people or else she would get hurt. It's implied that the reason for this is because Cersei sees Sansa as a younger and more inexperienced version of herself. While, Cersei lates desires to execute Sansa because she believes that Sansa was involved in Joffrey's death, it doesn't entirely subvert her prevention because during her Walk of Shame, she still noticebly feels bad about how things turned out and that Cersei could have provided a good marriage for her if Joffrey hadn't beheaded her father. Sansa is also one of the people Cersei hallucinates about which indicates that she feels guilty about how she treated her
• She is capable of feeling remorse on certain occasions. After the torture of the Blue Bard, she feels bad for him and tries to justify herself even if she doesn't take moral responsibility for what she did, and for a moment she even considers stopping his torture.
• She is also played for sympathy a lot as shown by the above examples. Aside from the examples that are already mentioned, during the Walk of Shame when she paraded naked through the streets of the city and the common people throw things at her, the story tries to frame the moment as an "Alas. Poor Villain" by presenting it from Cersei's point of view, presenting it in excrusiating detail, showing how it affects her psyche. The story clearly tries to make the readers feel bad for her during this chapter.

Lifetime - Staked: 921.15u, Profit/Loss: +14.81u, ROI: 1.61%, Parlay Suggestions: 177-69 Dog of the Week: 13-18, Picks: 8-3 (73% accuracy)
2024 - Staked: 274.05u, Profit/Loss: -18.55u
As always, scroll down for UFC Louisville Breakdowns. The following is just a recap of last event’s results.
~UFC 302 (PREVIOUS CARD)~
Staked: 12.5u
Profit/Loss: +7.64u
ROI: 61%
Parlay Suggestions: 3-0
Dog of the week: Cesar Almeida ❌
Picks: 8-3
Underwhelming card, but as expected it was a pretty easy one to predict. The favourites were mostly consistent, and most of the expected methods of victory landed. Nice profit made for once, but I think I had some fantastic reads on the card in spots that I didn’t bet. I said I expected Poirier to be competitive, and that Islam ITD wasn’t the lock people said it was. Matthews Decision was one I wanted to bet. I warned people that Hafez or Morono were the most likely bed-shitters. Basically, I think last week’s post would have been very useful to read.
✅ 2u Sean Strickland + Over 1.5 Rounds (-130) (won +1.54u)
✅ 2u Sean Strickland in R4, 5 or by Decision (+175) (won +3.5u) (accidentally edited this to 1u on the previous post, which wasn’t the intention. It’s was originally listed as 2u, and was tracked as such on my BetMMA record).
✅ 2u Kevin Holland + Grant Dawson (+110) (won 2.2u)
❌ 2u Cesar Almeida (+125)
❌ 1u Elizeu Zaleski dos Santos (+150)
✅ 2u Ailin Perez + Over 1.5 Rounds (-120) (won +1.66u)
✅ 1u Makhachev, Strickland, Holland, J. Almeida (+224) (won +2.24u)
❌ 0.5u Morono, Matthews, Hafez, Perez (+401)

~UFC Louisville~
Good to see more touring cards, and a slight step up in calibre from the usual Apex shit. Not a lot of spots I am confident in, I have to be honest…but I see a few underdogs that I’m sprinkling on.

~Jared Cannonier v Nassourdine Imavov~
Not another Nassourdine Imavov five rounder! I’m a fan of his skillset, but I think his cardio is suspect across 25 minutes, which ultimately makes his fights tricky to predict in spots like this. He’s not exactly a potent finisher, and I can’t trust him to win rounds four and five…so I think his path to victory is therefore limited by principal. A Nassourdine Imavov in a main event relies heavily on him winning R1, 2 and 3.
On the other side, Jared Cannonier is a guy I’ve never truly given the respect he deserves. A split decision win over Sean Strickland in a 25-minute fight is certainly impressive, as is the absolute beating he put on Marvin Vettori straight after* (* I believe Vettori has declined massively and is washed, so I won’t be going crazy in overreacting to that). Cannonier is a hard hitter, but he’s also gotten really comfortable in upping his volume across five round too, landing 141 and 241 significant strikes in those two aforementioned bouts respectively. The quantity didn’t dip in rounds 4 and 5 either, which is key considering my comments on Imavov’s cardio.
So I give Cannonier an advantage in R4 and 5, but what about across the other three? Well, the power advantage also goes to him, but the diversity with grappling and submission attempts falls with the Frenchman. Cannonier has started mixing takedowns into his game a bit more, which does present an opportunity for Imavov’s nasty front chokes…but other than that I’m not really sure where else I give Imavov a clear advantage outside of age and height. He’s the bigger fighter, but Cannonier is a strong dude and has looked just fine against other Middleweights (no one of Imavov’s size, to be fair).
Jared is now 40 years old, which is a bit of a dreaded number, which I think is the reasoning for this line being the way it is. People seem keen to blindly fade that age, regardless of whether it’s presented itself on tape. I see what they’re getting at, but Cannonier has put in two of his best performances of his career in his last two…I am not convinced it’s as simple as fading a 40 year old here.
So with that aside, I see far more merit to Cannonier’s side than Imavov’s, so the +100/-125 betting line feels off to me. I understand that Nassourdine just put in convincing performances against Roman Dolidze and Chris Curtis, but personally I think both of those fighters are a cut below Jared Cannonier (and I bet Nassourdine in both spots there). Cannonier would have looked good there too.
However, we have seen Imavov challenged against some of Middleweight’s common names, such as Sean Strickland and Joaquin Buckley…whilst Cannonier has looked good everywhere except against Izzy and Whittaker (he did drop a couple of rounds to Kelvin Gastelum, but it’s hardly raises alarm bells to me as Kelvin’s a tough guy to beat across 25 minutes of kickboxing).
I would personally make Cannonier the favourite here, anywhere between -125 and -150, and I assume the dreaded age of 40 is the reason for the odds here. I ask you this…if Jared Cannonier was 35, would the line be different? I believe it would be, and age is relative in MMA. It’s something to take seriously, of course, but I don’t think Cannonier even looked like he had started to decline in his most recent fight against Vettori last year.
I’ll be backing the underdog here at +100 or better. The line looks to be moving in Imavov’s favour so I will be patient.
How I line this fight: Jared Cannonier -137 (58%), Nassourdine Imavov +137 (42%)
Bet or pass: 1u Jared Cannonier to Win (+100 or better)
Prop leans: None
Live Betting Leans: If Cannonier looks to have won any of R1, 2, or 3 but is still a bettable price going into the championship rounds, I think he should be favoured to win those so could be a good entry in-play.

~Dominick Reyes v Dustin Jacoby~
This one should be fun for the live audience, but it’s an incredibly volatile fight for the bettors.
Very obvious to see why that’s the case for Dom Reyes – he’s got heaps of potential on a good day, but his chin is dust at this point. Seriously, he got knocked out cold by the jab of Ryan Spann. In a striking based fight at 205lbs, that’s all you need to know to decide that putting money on him is an uncomfortable idea.
Dustin Jacoby on the other hand is not the most potent finisher at Light Heavyweight, which immediately makes me think that Dustin isn’t the kind of guy you’d want to play executioner when he’s the favourite against someone with a flaw like Reyes’ chin. You want someone you can trust to put dudes to sleep in one punch – I don’t think that’s Jacoby (having gone the distance in seven of his 11 fights in this second UFC stint, and winning via leg kicks in one of the stoppages). Also, he’s not even particularly reliable to win rounds either, given that he was supposed to be the more technical fighter compared to Alonzo Menifield, Khalil Rountree, Azamat Murzakanov, and Maxim Grishin – where he was a moderate/big favourite every time, and never covered the price.
I still expect Jacoby to probably be the superior fighter across 15 minutes, but his -225 price tag definitely implies that a finish is expected by the oddsmakers…and I just have a whole lot less confidence that he lands it. From there, I also have less confidence that he’ll be the one winning rounds, given how easily he’s fumbled that in the past…so I just don’t see how you can have around 70% confidence in him winning here. Honestly I don’t really think Jacoby can ever justify that kind of pricetag at a UFC level when we have seen him shit the bed so many times.
On the other hand, I couldn’t trust Dominick Reyes’ chin to survive a strong gust of wind, so there’s no way I’d want to play him either. A very easy pass. I’ll pick Jacoby to win though, but I’d never bet him at this number.
In terms of thinking about props, I might be interested in looking at the Over 1.5 Rounds here, given that I disagree with the oddsmaker’s believe in Jacoby’s finishing ability. That’s going to be a horrible bet to sit through, so I’d probably need a decent price like +150 or better. We’ll see what they’re offering, but I doubt it’s that good.
How I line this fight: Dominick Reyes +175 (36%), Dustin Jacoby -175 (64%)
Bet or pass: Over 1.5 Rounds (+150 or better…no idea if that’s anywhere near what we’ll get)
Prop leans: See above

~Julian Marquez v Zach Reese~
Julian Marquez is a really fun fighter to watch, I’m glad to see him back inside the cage. He’s never been the most talented, but he’s a C+ at everything and has A grade heart. To beat him, you need to be clinical or vastly superior in one area, or Marquez might surprise you and turn the fight into a war of attrition.
Zach Reese is a 6-1 fighter that lost his debut Cody Brundage (I actually bet Brundage there, haha). Talk about fumbling the bag. He just seems like a classic DWCS fighter, who scores quick finishes against taxi drivers and then is suddenly expected to be diverse and talented enough to take on an actual trained professional that’s been competing against a much higher level for years. The difference between the regionals and the UFC has always been vast, and DWCS proves that time and time again.
Zach Reese’s longest fight time is 4 minutes and 13 seconds. He has literally never been in a fight that’s hit the second round. Julian Marquez, on the other hand, has gone longer than that in five of his 6 UFC appearances to date – and his opponents have all competed in the organisation at least five times. I genuinely think that tells you all you need to know.
And the craziest part is that Zach Reese ain’t even an inexperienced young gun. Him fumbling the debut wasn’t like Tom Nolan, a 24 year old kid that believed his own hype and got sloppy in his debut. Reese is THIRTY YEARS OLD.
The gulf in experience is massive, and the difference in age isn’t. I know Julian Marquez’s UFC record isn’t pretty at all, but how well do you think Zach Reese would fare if he faced the same opponents at the time Marquez did? I reckon he’d be 0-6.
Maybe I’m crazy, but Julian Marquez deserves better than to be a + money underdog against a literal regional opponent. Reese has tall man’s defence, he got tagged in both fights in DWCS/UFC and they were on the feet about 20 seconds combined. Yes he’s clearly got a great submission game on bottom, but Marquez has never been submitted, is a BJJ purple belt and has trained at decent camps before. He’s currently at the MMA Lab and has been training with Cannonier for this one.
I’ll be rolling the dice on the more proven fighter at +100.
How I line this fight: Julian Marquez -150 (60%), Zach Reese +150 (40%)
Bet or pass: 1u Julian Marquez to Win (+100)
Prop leans: None
Live Betting Leans: R1 finishers often have bad cardio, so if we get to the stool then Marquez is definitely worth a bet to turn the tide.

~Brunno Ferreira v Dustin Stoltzfus~
I can’t figure Dustin Stoltzfus out. He’s always presented himself as a good but one-dimensional grappler, judging by performances against high level competition such as Rodolpho Vieira and Gerald Meerschaert…but the way he showed up against Punahele Soriano made him look like a completely different guy. He was supposed to be easily outgunned on the feet there, but he looked seasoned and composed in the striking, and ultimately ended up getting a finish that I think very few people saw coming.
Brunno Ferreira is a super explosive Brazilian powerhouse that hasn’t gone past the halfway point in a fight yet. He throws heat and has that madman style, but his fights are so short I’ve no idea if he actually has any redeeming qualities from a technical or minute-winning perspective. As you probably know by now, my least favourite fighting style is ‘big strike go brrrr’. Ferreira has also had some bizarre results himself, pulling off a huge upset against Gregory Rodrigues, and then getting starched by Nursulton Ruziboev.
The only thing I know about Brunno is that he’ll go to war with an opponent that wants to meet him in the middle…I’ve no idea if Dustin Stoltzfus really wants to do that. He handled himself really well against a similar kind of style in Puna Soriano…but he’s also the same guy that got womped in under 20 seconds by Abus Magomedov.
To conclude, I think I could easily see Brunno Ferreira scoring an easy KO inside a couple of minutes, but I could also see this one looking way more competitive and close than the betting line suggests if Stoltzfus makes it to the stool. Lots of different possibilities, not a lot of confidence in any one outcome.
Brunno Ferreira kind of presents similar red flags to Zach Reese in the last breakdown. The difference between the two, and the reason I am fading Reese and not Brunno, is that I have confidence and knowledge that Marquez can handle that early chaos. I can’t say the same about Stoltzfus, so I won’t be taking a stab on him. Personally I think he’s absolutely the value side though, so if you’re someone who wants to bet every fight then absolutely take him.
I will also be picking him to win, but not because I think he does so 51% or more of the time…just because Ferreira is only known to have a limited path to victory that could easily fall apart.
How I line this fight: Such a volatile fight, I have no idea.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Punahele Soriano v Miguel Baeza~
Speak of the devil!
Punahele Soriano is so, so overrated. I have no idea how he’s even still in the UFC, or how he even got there in the first place. He was hyped up by Dana and the promo team as this scary and lethal striker….but then he pussy’d out and grappled his way to a decision win against Jamie Pickett on DWCS. Surprisingly they rewarded him with a contract (but didn’t want Brendan Loughnane!). Since then, lethal KO artist Puna has scored just three knockouts…but in the four fights he hasn’t, he’s looked like absolute shit. Getting schooled on the feet by Dustin Stoltzfus and Brendan Allen is a really bad look when you’re being advertised as a striker…and losing a decision to Nick Maximov isn’t a good look either!
To their credit, this fight against Miguel Baeza is a genius pairing by the UFC matchmakers though, because Baeza’s career has kind of panned out the same as Soriano’s. A hard hitting DWCS graduate, Baeza got off to a decent start with three consecutive finishes, most notably against Matt Brown. He stepped up the level of competition to face Santiago Ponzinibbio, which resulted in a life and death decision that he narrowly lost. Unfortunately, the losses snowballed dramatically as he was later KO’d by Khaos Williams and Andre Fialho. The latter result the most shocking, given that Fialho is dogshit. Baeza has since taken two years off…and everyone forgot he existed.
Apologies for taking two massive paragraphs to give you both men’s life stories, but it really does paint the picture of this fight from a betting perspective. Both men are overhyped KO artists - with one lacking in durability, and the other lacking in brain cells.
Puna is probably more likely to walk away with the KO win due to Baeza’s declining durability, but he’s also the more likely to get out-struck and styled on if this one turns into a longer distanced fight. Who wins that kind of fight? I have absolutely no idea. I’m just glad that one guy gets to stick around after this fight is over, because I’d be keen to fade both guys in the future.
I have little confidence so it counts for nothing, but I’ll pick Baeza simply because I like to fade finish-reliant fighters, and Miguel seems to be the more technical. His leg kick should work nicely here.
How I line this fight: Punahele Soriano +125 (45%), Miguel Baeza -125 (55%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Raul Rosas Jr. vs Ricky Turcios~
I’ve copy/pasted my breakdown for this fight from the UFC Mexico event, and made some updated changes:
I’m still pretty gassed about hitting the fade on Raul Rosas Jr with Christian Rodriguez – definitely one of my favourite bets of 2023. I saw an untested 18 year old that was the beneficiary the UFC hype machine, and a then unknown opponent who had proven tricky to beat with the style Rosas Jr has. I saw it as a pick’em, and Rodriguez was +200. Easy bet to make.
In that fight, Rosas Jr kind of cardio-dumped and gave up once it was obvious that early finish wasn’t going to present itself, and that’s certainly a concern until we see him fight competently for 15 minutes at this level. I can think of countless UFC hype trains that hid their shocking minute winning ability behind dominant and exciting R1 finishes (Edmen Shahbazyan was my initial example, but since writing this Joe Pyfer has given another great recent example), and I therefore simply cannot trust Raul Rosas at this stage in his career when he’s still going to be sitting at -250 on the betting line due to his popularity.
Is Ricky Turcios worth the gamble as an underdog? I don’t really think so. He has been taken down seven and six times in two different UFC fights, has losses to Aimann Zahabi and Boston Salmon, and his wins were against Kevin Natividad and Brady Hiestand…which were both splits. The UFC are clearly treating this as a lay-up fight for Rosas Jr, but without feeding him a promotional newcomer or a fellow inexperienced guy. I don’t mean lay-up as if it’s a squash match, but it’s assumed that he SHOULD win here, instead of them throwing him to the wolves or making him go up against a fellow serious prospect.
Stylistically this one all revolves around the cardio for me, because I don’t think Turcios has what it takes to win this fight off the merit of his own skillset. He needs Rosas Jr. to gas out first, if he’s going to have any hope of having his way here. We have no way of knowing whether or not Rosas will gas, as it could have just been a one off and he’s so young that he could make the improvements quickly.
Personally, I’d be willing to give Rosas Jr the benefit of the doubt. The Rodriguez loss really should have opened his eyes, and it’s often the best thing for a young prospect to get that wake up call sometimes, as he was probably starting to believe his own hype. If the cardio is fixable, I assume he’s done all he can to fix it. He therefore deserves to be the favourite, but I won’t be betting on it.
How I line this fight: Raul Rosas Jr -200 (67%), Ricky Turcios +200 (33%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: I was originally going to bet the Over 2.5 rounds, but I’ll pass on that now.

~Eduarda Moura v Denise Gomes~
Eduarda Moura’s UFC debut did not impress me at all. I didn’t bother researching her regional footage, and from what I saw in that debut she’s a size/weight bully that isn’t even that amazing at what she does. Yes she outgrappled and mauled that Mexican woman, but the size difference was comical and she couldn’t have found an easier opponent to beat if she tried.
I had one of my best bets of 2023 on Denise Gomes’ last fight against Angela Hill (big up Angie for winning a couple of weeks ago, she’s such a money train for me), opting to fade the scary finishing ability of a WMMA fighter for a more technical and historically durable veteran on the return. Not only did Angie school her, she even managed to mix in some grappling to make the win even more stylish. That gets the alarm bells ringing here, as Moura’s MO is definitely to grapple, and Angie’s no grappler.
I don’t have a strong opinion on this one, because both women give me very strong fraud vibes. I think Moura is absolutely going to be one to fade in the future, and Gomes has already been faded in the past. Personally I don’t think the equally limited Denise Gomes is the woman to give Moura her first L, because stylistically this looks like a tricky fight for her. Fingers crossed Moura wins and the fade opportunity is live next time. It’s an easy pass for me.
How I line this fight: No idea, they’re both frauds
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Puja Tomar v Rayanne Amanda (dos Santos)~
Some people believe in the narrative that you should try and fade Indian fighters. That worked pretty well last time Jeka Sarragih fought!
I bet on Rayanne dos Santos in her UFC debut, and she lost a split to an inexperienced opponent with bad cardio. I was impressed with her striking in Invicta, but she struggled to do anything meaningful stuff in that UFC debut. By the looks of the early line I’m seeing, she’s about -180 here. Who the hell is going to bet that!?
I obviously know nothing about Puja, but her record shows she’s fought two serious opponents. You know I love WMMA more than anyone else, but I have absolutely no interest in doing tape for this one. Pass.
How I line this fight: No idea
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Cody Stamann v Taylor Lapilus~
Very disappointed by the betting line here. When a fight like this gets announced, I immediately get excited because I think there’s a chance the books might get caught out and give a very bettable price on a fight that seems close on paper, but should be quite one-sided in reality, due to the stylistics.
Taylor Lapilus deserves to be -200 here, maybe even steeper. Reason being, he’s great where Stamann is average, but he’s also good where Stamann is good. The Frenchman is a slick striker that should certainly be expected to land the more eye-catching shots, when compared to Stamann’s T-Rex boxing. He will enjoy a 9-inch reach advantage, and should just be able to hit and not get hit. Stamann barely has any power either, so even if he does land a punch for every two he absorbs, I doubt it’s going to do much to convince the judges to credit him as the round winner.
Cody Stamann has veered away from his wrestling roots in recent fights, but you’d think it would serve him well here, given the reach and technical disadvantage he will find himself at. Whilst this would be true against another opponent, Taylor Lapilus has a very good anti-grappling game. His takedown defence is good, but even when he does get floored he works hard and effectively to get back to his feet, or at the very least nullify his opponent. His most recent fight was an exception to that as Farid Basharat made light work of him…but that was a very impressive performance that I don’t think many could replicate.
So in summary, I think Stamann is going to be shut out here, and I don’t think he’s going to really be able to find success anywhere in this fight. He will either stand at distance and clearly get outstruck by the fighter with the better footwork that will keep him at range…or he attempts to wrestle and likely has little luck at finding any real success. At the very least, the success he does have probably won’t be enough to erase the striking deficit he’s already accrued.
On a more narrative based note, Stamann also appears to have regressed a fair bit in recent years. He was once a gatekeeper to the top 15, drawing with the likes of Song Yadong and even winning a round against Merab…but since then losing decisions to 37-year-old Douglas Silva de Andrade and winning questionable decisions against Luan Lacerda. I’d say this is a tricky fight for Stamann in his prime, but Cody’s trending downwards too.
As I said in the opening paragraph, I’m disappointed that the books didn’t offer a better price on Lapilus, and I’m interested to see if money comes in on Cody still. Personally I’d be happy to bet Lapilus at -175 or better, but I’d need the line to improve slightly before I could play it. I might parlay him with someone on next week’s card once I get further down the line researching it.
How I line this fight: Cody Stamann +225 (31%), Taylor Lapilus -225 (69%)
Bet or pass: No bet, for now.
Prop leans: None

~Brad Katona v Jesse Butler~
The less time spent talking about this one, the better. Brad Katona is possibly the least intimidating MMA fighter to have ever graced the UFC, both in the way he fights, and his demeanour. The former is more important, because he can sometimes struggle to win rounds because he’s outgunned most of the time. He needs to put on a perfect defensive display to win striking fights, because if he gets wobbled he probably can’t get the round back.
Jesse Butler is a can with about as much of a right to be on the UFC’s roster as I do. He has no striking ability, as seen in his 23 second KO MASSACRE at the hands of 40-year-old Jim Miller (one of my favourite KOs of 2023 that one, definitely recommend if you didn’t see it!). That lack of striking ability, both offensively and defensively, means that he is very unlikely to get the better of a good point fighter like Brad Katona. But everyone has a puncher’s chance.
Katona is nearly -600 here. Mostly justified, but also eye-wateringly steep at the exact same time when you consider Katona’s path to victory is almost exclusively by decision! Pass.
How I line this fight: Brad Katona -400 (80%), Jesse Butler +400 (20%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: Me to fall asleep watching this one (+200 or better)

~Ludovit Klein v Thiago Moises~
Two guys I have historically had a very tricky time analysing. I was high on Klein when he made his debut, then I turned my back on him after the losses to Trizano and Landwehr – and since then he’s been pulling off upsets and continuing to prove he was worth the hype he entered the UFC with. The dude has some of the best high kicks I’ve ever seen from a fighter.
Thiago Moises has always been credentialed and talented, but he’s failed to deliver on the promises his abilities make on paper. Moises is capable of taking fighters down and submitting them early, but it’s genuinely taken nine UFC fights for him to actually go out there and do that. And then he did it twice in a row (against Giagos and Melq Costa).
So I think that does a good job of explaining why I am going to be non-committal and just leave this fight alone. Klein is great when he’s on form, but he’s shown himself to be capable of dropping the ball in fights he really should win. He’s proven himself to be a guy that you back as an underdog, but avoid as a favourite. He’s barely either here, but he does have a minus next to his name.
Moises is also too inconsistent to trust either. I think there’s a chance that this could be a winnable fight for him, as his grappling will definitely be superior if he can force things to the floor. That sounds like a great opportunity for a +100 fighter…but Moises definitely won’t look that number if he decides to stand and trade – and his 1.64 takedowns landed per 15 minutes statistic is enough to assume he won’t.
The oddsmakers are right in lining this one close, because both men have very legitimate paths to victory with only a few small factors landing in their favour. I’d argue that Klein is the rightful favourite (and therefore my pick) due to all fights starting standing and Moises’ track record…but this is a close one.
How I line this fight: Ludovit Klein -125 (55%), Thiago Moises +125 (45%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Charles Radtke v Carlos Prates~
If you’re a regular reader of my posts, you may know that historically I am someone who genuinely thinks Trevin Giles has some redeeming qualities. In fact, I claimed in his recent fight against Carlos Prates that the line was wide, and that Giles may be able to find a way to have some success. Having watched that fight back, I think I was justified to feel that way.
I liked what I saw from Prates on DWCS, with the way he mixed up volume, pressure and power…but ultimately that performance against Giles was a bit concerning. He definitely lost round one, and by the end of the fight he was outstruck almost two to one. Of course, he won via KO…but to expect a fighter to be bailed out by their raw power every time is a bit foolish.
Charles Radtke is ironically a fighter I’ve had nothing but bad things to say about. I slated his debut win against Mike Mathetha (the artist formally known as Blood Diamond), and tried to fade him when he faced Gilbert Urbina. Boy did he look great in that sophomore appearance, I was really impressed. His striking just seemed so tight, accurate and crisp, I couldn’t believe how easily he pieced up Urbina.
I’m obviously not super confident in my analysis here, simply due to the lack of tape we have on both guys…but I don’t really understand what we are supposed to have seen from Prates to justify a -200 pricetag? He was struggling against Giles, and had he not landed the precise punch that ended things…he could easily have lost that one! I get that he has a big size advantage…but Urbina was taller and Radtke approached the striking gameplan perfectly. He also has Belal Muhammad in his corner (or at least he did vs Urbina), who I rate as a pretty intelligent fighter.
This one feel like it could develop into a very competitive fight, and the finishing ability is strong on either side. Radtke has also shown a diverse game and an ability to mix in grappling when necessary, which could serve him well here. For those reasons, I’m happy to roll the dice on yet another underdog here, and back Charles Radtke for 1u at +150 or better. I’ll be waiting a little bit to see what the initial line movement does.
How I line this fight: Charles Radtke +100 (50%), Carlos Prates +100 (50%)
Bet or pass: 1u Charles Radtke to Win (+150 or better)
Prop leans: None

~Daniel Marcos v John Castaneda~
I’m quite high on Daniel Marcos. I just think he’s a really talented striker. I bet him heavily against Aoriqileng, and were it not for the unfortunate NC, I think that would have looked like a really smart bet (not the only time that’s even happened to me this year…thanks Piera Rodriguez). People still hate on him for potentially getting a robbery over Davey Grant…but Grant is a very tricky guy to look good against at the best of times. The likes of Jonathan Martinez, Adrian Yanez, and even Marlon Vera have all struggled to decisively beat Davey.
John Castaneda is certainly the more well-rounded martial artist here, as the way he’s mixed takedowns into his game has been really intelligent. He’s also shown much more dangerousness than Marcos, landing a knockdown in four of his six UFC performances, and even scoring a submission win over Miles Johns.
For as long as this one stays standing, I think it’s a close fight that’s hard to call. Whilst I give a slight minute winning edge to Marcos for his higher level of technicality to his striking, I think Castaneda’s power can be a great equaliser, as can his ability to mix in takedowns. I’ve not seen much of Marcos’ anti-grappling to believe he can fend off a takedown threat if Castaneda wants to force things there.
So yeah, a non-committal breakdown but I think this is a close fight to call. There certainly isn’t any betting value to a fight this close anyway. I’ll pick Castaneda and give him the slight edge on the betting line for his diversity and finishing upside.
How I line this fight: John Castaneda -125 (55%), Daniel Marcos +125 (45%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Andrea Lee v Montana De La Rosa~
It’s always tricky to navigate the fade when you see a fighter with a glaring deficiency that keeps taking losses. Andrea Lee is on a sharp downwards slope – she’s 35 years old, she cannot stop takedowns, and she’s got a 3-7 record in decisions in the UFC. Those are some pretty damning facts, but what’s worse is that Lee’s decline is really showing in her performances. I confidently bet Miranda Maverick against her at near pick’em due to her grappling superiority, but I was very surprised to see Maverick actually clearly outrstriking Lee across 15 minutes. That was a terrible look because Maverick’s striking really has never looked good. That should not have happened.
The reason I began by saying that it’s difficult fading a fighter in Lee’s position, is because there comes a time where the calibre of opponent clearly takes a downwards step. I’ve always been a big believer in Miranda Maverick, and I believe she’s top 10 in the division, so trusting her to feast on Andrea Lee’s carcass was easy. This time however, we’re being asked to trust Montana De La Rosa, a clearly inferior fighter, to do the same. Historically, Lee is certainly a cut above her, and Lee’s 30-27 victory over MDLR in 2019 demonstrated that perfectly.
Montana’s not bad bad, she’s just lacking in physicality to really be able to get her game going. She’s definitely a grappler, but a 31% takedown accuracy and poor top control means that she struggles to really find openings to do her best work...so she just kind of survives in fights if she can’t grapple you. Just looking through her UFC fights and it’s so obvious where her calibre lies…none of the girls she’s beaten apart from Ariane Lipski have been in the UFC for years, and even some of the names she’s beaten aren’t super elite either. And back when she fought Lipski, the Brazilian had some of the worst anti-grappling we’d seen in WMMA.
So this is clearly one of those fights where my predictions and probabilities for the fight weigh more on how either woman loses, as opposed to how they win. Right off the bat, that’s an awful premise to be considering a bet, so I can easily tell you this is one to avoid…and I haven’t even looked at the betting line yet.
Yep, Andrea lee sits around -130. I expected exactly that, as it’s a coin-toss as to which woman is inferior, but history is worth something and Lee does have a win over her opponent here. I guess Andrea Lee is the pick because MDLR already landed five takedowns the first time and did fuck all with them, but I have little to no confidence here. I’m sure no one is even reading this far into the breakdown because no one even cares about WMMA like I do. It’s a pass. I'll keep an eye out for Lee by Decision, assuming it's around the +200 mark.
How I line this fight: Andrea Lee -150 (60%), Montana De La Rosa +150 (40%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

Bets (Bold = been placed)
1u Jared Cannonier to Win (+100 or better)
1u Jacoby v Reyes Over 1.5 Rounds (+150 or better….I could be way off the mark there)
1u Julian Marquez to Win (+100)
1u Charles Radtke to Win (+150 or better)
1u Andrea Lee to Win by Decision (+200 or better...might not get anywhere near that number, idk)

Parlay Pieces: Julian Marquez, Taylor Lapilus
Dog of the Week: Jared Cannonier
Picks: Jared Cannonier, Dustin Jacoby, Julian Marquez, Dustin Stoltzfus, Miguel Baeza, Raul Rosas Jr, Denise Gomes, Taylor Lapilus, Brad Katona, Moises/Klein, Radtke/Prates, Marcos/Castaneda, Andrea Lee

During my PG, we were a group of 4 girls and we used to meet once or twice a week since we had different specialisations and hence, different schedules. There is one particular friend, let’s call her Grace. We used to have a good understanding and relaxed equation. She went through a personal tragedy (loss of a parent) and we as friends, tried our best to support her emotionally and practically (helping her to pack and postpone her exams etc). Once our PG ended, we had to move to a flat and Grace and I decided to pair up to search for a flat since the other two friends had gone back to their hometowns. Earlier, we used to have a decent equation and I would check up on her everyday by going to her room because she had confided that she is unable to sleep due to negative thoughts and we would also go out whenever possible.
She picked up a part time job to earn money and to get her mind off things and once when I visited her room, I got very unwelcoming vibes so I stopped going there until she approached me. I guess it was because she was tired and overwhelmed but she started getting slightly nasty and short for no reason like she would accuse me of zoning out whenever she would talk about her boy problems (essentially which guy should I choose from Bumble, I am so confused) although I would give her advice and help her as much as possible, accuse me of distracting her because of which she messed up her form but later she approached me and told me to sit with her while filling a fresh form because she feels nervous. She would taunt me about my short attention span although she is the type of person who talks only about herself and even if the topic is changed, she will circle back to herself.
Before we became flatmates, once my mom had come over and we were in line at the grocery store. I spotted Grace and called out to her. She stood with us in line while the others behind us grumbled and she did not greet my mom even once. She started talking about herself very loudly and how somebody told her that it was very easy to get a part time job. My mom did not like her and found her very rude and self- centred and later when she needed a guarantor for the flat and asked my sister, they said that she didn’t make a good impression and this was risky to undertake. She even asked our other flatmate and a Bumble guy and they obviously reduced. I am mentioning this to give an idea of her nature.
Anyway, there came a point that she had the 8-4 shift and even if both of us would be at home, we wouldn’t see each other for days and once in a fortnight we would update each other for like 10-15 minutes. I was also suffering with loneliness during that time. If she needed something, she would only text/call me even if she would be in the next room. She would accuse me of not flushing/cleaning the toilet properly and if I disagreed, she would taunt. She even said once that there is nothing to talk about just ‘No job yet’ since we are both looking for full time work.
What really annoyed me was randomly after two weeks, she came to my room and told me to come to her room and it was because she suspected a rat in her room. She would keep unwashed utensils in her room for days at a stretch and I had feared that this would lead to rats/cockroaches. A week later, my landlord messaged that I should give my key to Grace for now since he was busy. I had no idea so I said okay but didn’t act on it as Grace hadn’t told me anything. After 2-3 days, she called and messaged to ask if I was at home since she had lost her key. When I opened the door, she said that she had thought the other flatmate would be around but he wasn’t. After that also, I barely saw her and the one time I told her that she isn’t around, she told me that I wasn’t there (!). She even went off on a day trip with her close male friend and told only my other flatmate about it.
I know this has already gotten very long but up till this point, I want advice on what really happened. I will make a separate post on Part 2 as well.
In the middle of all this, one of the girls in our group who had gone back to her hometown (let’s call her Mary), she got engaged to her high school sweetheart. She posted a picture of the same on social media. While I was happy for her and left a positive comment, I felt odd that she never mentioned it but I didn’t think much of it. A few days later, Mary texted me and told me to call when I was free. I called her and I found out that she was coming with her parents for her graduation ceremony and had some doubts regarding the accommodation. At the end of our conversation, I told her, ‘I believe that congratulations are in order’. She thanked me and said that she was surprised that she didn’t hear from me. I told her I found it odd to get the news only on social media. She then said that her parents had just gone to the boy’s family to fix the date and the roka got fixed for two days later. Everything happened too fast and she randomly texted all the people she could remember and she was also just processing everything. We talked a bit more and she said that it’s been a long time and we should meet when she comes.
When she arrived, I saw her social media stories of the graduation and her parents at tourist attractions. I thought she would be busy showing her parents around and she would probably text for a meet up once she is free. Next day, I noticed that Grace had gone out in the evening and after some time, I saw that Mary put up a story with her in a mall. I felt weird but I thought that maybe it was impromptu or because Grace has hectic working hours. The next few days, Mary was roaming around in nearby cities and one day, I was in a party and having a good time. I saw Grace’s story and she was at a restaurant with Mary. Now I was having an amazing time with my new partner and his friends so I had no FOMO but I was drunk and I felt pissed at these ‘friends’. I thought that if they deliberately exclude me, why pretend that everything is hunky dory? I then deleted their numbers and removed them from social media. I told my partner everything, who then asked if I was okay and if I feel any regrets about doing all this. I said no and that rather than putting up this pretence of being ‘friends’, let’s be real.
The next few days, as usual, I would encounter Grace only in the kitchen where there would be pin-drop silence and not even a greeting. She knew that I was going back home for good in a few days and asked in a dead voice whether I found a replacement for my flat and the date of my flight. I answered coldly and greeted her from my side only when I felt like it. The day I left for the airport, she wasn’t there when I booked the cab and it has been 15 days since I came back. She didn’t even message me a goodbye.
I want your opinion on whether I am wrong or overreacting and why this must’ve happened- a friendship gone sour all of a sudden.

It was time, his meds weren’t working anymore, and Im glad he is has been at peace. I have struggled so much without him. These five months have been so quiet and sad, and now Im moving from what I liked to call his “kitty retirement home.” Every window, nook and cranny of this space was his and I loved him so much. I miss him so much. I miss him being the stinker who would put his paw under my door every morning to open the door and wake me up for snuggles and breakfast. There are still specs of his litter in odd places around the apartment because he was a messy old man who paid the rent with his cuteness.
The litter box had been emptied of litter but its gross/stained self should have been thrown out months ago, but I couldnt do it. It say on my back porch until I carried it to the dumpster today. And now I am a puddle of tears with a heavy heart. I know no part of him will ever be gone from my heart and soul, but throwing that litter box out was so painful. More painful than my worst health days.
I miss my old man, my stinky boy, my baby. How am I going to be able to move out of this place we called our home? Will my new home be ok without him?
I know it is time to move and nothing will be stopping that in the next month. My baby boy would have HATED everything about moving. He hated car rides, was afraid of being outside (though he loved open windows), the people touring our apartment, and then the big move to this new place. He wouldn’t have made it especially with his delicate heart condition.
Still, I miss him so. If you got this far, thank you for reading.

I just turned 22 this year. Don’t know how or why I’ve made it this far in life. I’ve been miserable since I was born. My dad abused me physically, emotionally my mother abused and manipulated me emotionally and spiritually. I have never known peace ever. Sexually assaulted and molested by boys in the 1st grade cousins and my mom’s ex fiancé, constantly bullied or not liked in school every year until I graduated and gained an ED in middle school causing me to gain so much weight and not knowing what to do. Then developed HS which is a skin condition when I was 13 after my body hit a high stress point and puberty so I live in pain every single day. Graduated in 2020 so I lost my prom, senior trip, so many things. Dropped out of college due to depression and truly didn’t know what to do. I have tried to kill myself now 6 times and every single time I feel more miserable and more helpless. I’m homeless haven’t eaten in I don’t know how long at this point and I’ve been in an endless cycle of this since I was 19.
My parents won’t let me back home due to religious differences and mainly because my stepdad doesn’t want me to. My dad died in 2015 when I was 13 and that has really changed so much in my life including my emotional regulation. I developed bpd and my dad was bipolar. Now I struggle with taking shit lightly or even being able to calm down in a frantic state. I’ve cut off and fucked up every relationship I had or I was just tossed out because they didn’t like me. I don’t feel worthy of living anymore because I’m 22 and have nothing to show for it.
I’m actively watching as my middle school bullies aka the girls who ruined my life, have amazing lives and opportunities. Modeling, clothing lines, and even going to great schools. I don’t have anything or anyone but the bitches who made my life a literal living hell have everything they want. There was a time when my mom was still engaged to the man who molested me, I went to school he had given me money for snacks. Well I didn’t get any and planned on stopping for some while I walked home that day. I got on the bus and sat alone as always put my headphones in played my music. Well the girls who always bothered me on the bus started acting strangely kind saying they liked my purse. It was a $5 purse from the thrift store. They asked if they could see it and my dumbass gave it to them no questions asked. Well as I was walking home I dug through my purse to get the money so I could get snacks upon realizing it wasn’t there I freaked out and cried the whole way home. He had specifically told me to bring him back whatever change. When I was in middle school all my siblings were in different schools so I was always home first. He always got off work 10 mins after I got home. I went upstairs to change and still was upset and kinda in shock from what I felt would happen. Well, he came home drunk as he always did after work and came right upstairs asking for the change. I started crying and saying don’t walk in I’m naked because I was still changing he walked in anyway I said they stole the money and this man beat me with his belt while I was naked. 12 years old. Proceed to rub me and kiss me and told me to get dressed and stand downstairs with my arms held up as a punishment. Every day of my life was even more miserable after that and those same girls are living amazing or better than me in general.
I’ve been beat up by men and boys my whole life I’m worthless and not worthy of any love. That’s why I was born. To show people what they don’t want to be. I don’t feel I was born for any other purpose than to be people emotional and physical punching bag. I have an alcohol and weed problem now. I have issues with over indulging in giving people stuff. A man owes me 1400 and hasn’t given it to me and I gave him that when I was on my last and took it out of my savings. Now I’m homeless no house no car no nothing because of him. I’ve been trying to take responsibility for my life but it’s the little things that’s broke me and led up to this. I’m aware people have been through worse which makes this 10x more pathetic. I now struggle with borderline personality disorder, manic depression, anxiety, and PTSD.I think I’ll really just go ahead and end it.

So I live with my mom after failing to live alone due to insane rent prices. I've had a busy workweek and came home tired and all wet because I got caught in a rainstorm. I changed my clothes and went to the kitchen to have some nap on the sofa. Few minutes later mom came from the living room telling me I don't like her when I don't make 6 steps and say hello or something. I've been talking to people the whole day and just wanted some silence. Now I don't know if I'm being gaslighted or I'm indeed a bad person because of this. To clarify my mom has always been like this, that's probably why I've never felt home while at home. Many times I've felt better and safer when visiting any friend's family who I barely know. Just entirely different atmosphere. Same thing when I lived with my dad who was a lot like me and never did this kind od thing to me, I feel so lonely after he died of cancer 2 years ago😥 mom was taking care of me financially so I always had clothes to wear and never starved or anything. But emotionally something was just very odd and I've never been sure if the problem is me being wierd or her being toxic and abusive.
When it comes to me, I have inferiority complex, I fear being lonely, I don't have many friends as I'm terrible at getting new ones, I feel like everyone despises me and laughs behind my back about how much of a freak and schizoid I am and it's not just paranoia, many people genuinely dislike me. I am also people pleaser and I'm trying to be nice to everyone. The idea that someone hates me or despises me is soul crushing and I feel it's all my fault. And only very few people have the understanding for me being different. Do you think I am a narcissist or am I being gaslighted?

The award season is starting to finally look exciting and competition could be really close this year! Some of the things which I am really excited to see this year is the possibility of the (G)I-DLE daesang as well as chances of performances from QWER and even ECLIPSE (imagine that!)
Artist of the year (Daesang)

Rank	Artist	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	IU	64137741	80
2	(G)I-DLE	57280549	71.45
3	TAEYEON	57158202	71.29
4	aespa	47997427	59.87
5	Jungkook	41795207	52.13
6	LE SSERAFIM	37784239	47.13
7	TWS	35125087	43.81
8	RIIZE	33559605	41.86
9	Lim Jae Hyun	32789204	40.9
10	PLAVE	31336154	39.09
11	Lee Mu-jin	29346463	36.6
12	BIBI	28226318	35.21
13	Crush	27270637	34.02
14	ILLIT	25848979	32.24
15	Roy Kim	22733980	28.36
16	Lee changsub	19143513	23.88
17	VIVIZ	19067261	23.78
18	BOL4	17986689	22.44
19	SEVENTEEN	17085219	21.31
20	DAY6	16055278	20.03
21	IVE	15958289	19.91
22	Red Velvet	14579161	18.18
23	ZICO	14537117	18.13
24	Heize	14530980	18.12
25	QWER	14368414	17.92
26	KISS OF LIFE	14064041	17.54
27	BABY MONSTER	13298566	16.59
28	So SooBin	11880194	14.82
29	ECLIPSE	11653032	14.54
30	NW'JNS	10658259	13.29

The big standouts for me are first and foremost DAY6! Their rise on charts this year has been insane!! Then comes BIBI, QWER and ECLIPSE. I would never have imagined these artists to ever be even in the top 100, but they have each put out megahits which are doing crazy numbers and I'm so happy for them!! And finally ECLIPSE!! Lovely Runner has taken Korea by storm and it feels like a return to thee days of Goblin and Descendants of the Sun! I'm so so happy for Sudden Shower's massive popularity right now and hope we can see a live performance!
Song of the year (Daesang)

Rank	Song	Artist	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	To.X	TAEYEON	34833602	60.00
2	Rhapsody of Sadness	Lim Jae Hyun	32581331	56.12
3	Drama	aespa	31841138	54.85
4	Plot Twist	TWS	31190206	53.72
5	Love wins all	IU	30847638	53.13
6	FATE	(G)I-DLE	28916683	49.81
7	Bam Yang Gang	BIBI	27636201	47.60
8	Episode	Lee Mu Jin	24780299	42.68
9	LOVE119	RIIZE	21566292	37.15
10	Magnetic	ILLIT	20391031	35.12

Despite the disparity in numbers between the Top 10, this race is actually pretty tight!! Songs like FATE and Plot Twist are still in the Weekly Top 10 charts of Melon, despite their early release date. They have a strong chance of contesting alongside Rhapsody of Sadness and To X, which are also still in the Top 20 of weekly charts
Album of the year (Daesang)

Rank	Album	Artist	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	The Winning	IU	64137741	60.00
2	2	(G)I-DLE	56941387	53.27
3	To. X	TAEYEON	41834116	39.14
4	Golden	Jungkook	40439443	37.83
5	EASY	LE SSERAFIM	37102060	34.71
6	Drama	aespa	35801442	33.49
7	Sparkling Blue	TWS	35125087	32.86
8	ASTERUM:134-1	PLAVE	26999639	25.26
9	SUPER REAL ME	ILLIT	25508066	23.86
10	VERSUS	VIVIZ	19067261	17.84

This is IU's category to lose. She has 2 songs in the Top 50 weekly charts still, alongside all the points she has already wracked up. All the rest of the albums primarily have just 1 big song
Best Girl Group

Rank	Artist	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	(G)I-DLE	57280549	60
2	aespa	47997427	50.28
3	LE SSERAFIM	37784239	39.58
4	ILLIT	25848979	27.08
5	VIVIZ	19067261	19.97

Best Boy Group

Rank	Artist	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	TWS	35125087	60
2	RIIZE	33559605	57.33
3	PLAVE	31336154	53.53
4	SEVENTEEN	17085219	29.18
5	DAY6	16055278	27.43

Best Female Solo

Rank	Artist	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	IU	64137741	60
2	TAEYEON	57158202	53.47
3	BIBI	28226318	26.41
4	BOL4	17986689	16.83
5	Heize	14530980	13.59

Best Male Solo

Rank	Artist	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	Jungkook	41795207	60
2	Lim Jae Hyun	32789204	47.07
3	Lee Mu-jin	29346463	42.13
4	Crush	27270637	39.15
5	Roy Kim	22733980	32.64

Best Original Soundtrack (OST)

Rank	Song	Artist	Drama	Sum of Daily ULs	Digital pts
1	Dream	TAEYEON	Welcome to Samdal-Ri	15134714	60.00
2	Love You With All My Heart	Crush	Queen of Tears	11220708	44.48
3	Whenever, Wherever	Roy kim	My Demon	10443036	41.40
4	Sudden Shower	ECLIPSE	Lovely Runner	6139626	24.34
5	Hold Me Back	Heize	Queen of Tears	4399499	17.44

My favourite category this year is completely stacked!! Sudden Shower is the favourite to win ofcourse, but you never know when another banger might drop. Will keep my fingers crossed for it to win!
Who are you rooting for this award season?!
Credits for the Data: https:_//x.com/KoWatermelon

I guess I'm not sure what I want from this post. Mostly just input. I definitely have an anxious attachment style. Which is not conducive to a long distance relationship but that's besides the point. This is a good opportunity for me to continue to learn about communication styles when casually dating people.
Background: I recently travelled abroad for 2.5 weeks. I got back last Friday. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a very pretty pale white girl with blonde hair, a really bubbly personality, and boy can I dance. On my first night, I met THE HOTTEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE at the hostel. He grew up in Brazil and moved to Portugal 2 years ago. He travels frequently but has been unable to visit the US due to Visas being very difficult to obtain as a Brazilian. He SHOWERED me in compliments and attention like I've never seen before. My pale skin, my blonde hair, my bubbly personality, my body (I'm average), my dancing, my humor. I learned that this may be cultural and tried to take it with a grain of salt and tried not to fall in love lmao.
So we made out and spent the night (it was a safe situation don't worry) but didn't do anything else as I was just recently out of a relationship. I told him and he respected that and we cuddled. He gave me a lot of attention for the few days I was in Portugal. I figured he was just trying to convince me to sleep with him which I wasn't going to do so I just kind of moved on and continued on my travels figuring he didn't really care.
The next morning he left me a voice message saying he actually really did like me and would like to continue talking and would hope to meet up at the end of my trip in Spain. We continued texting/voice messages/pictures but we were unable to meet up so I flew back to the states. He made it clear that he still wanted to talk. Again, I'm trying not to fall in love but I'm also fantasizing about this romantic LDR and moving to Portugal and blah blah blah. At the very least, it'd be very interesting to continue a casual virtual friendship with someone who grew up so vastly different than I did.
Anyway, since I've been home, I send him pictures and memes and texts and voice messages and he's limited in his responses. He keeps apologizing and saying he loves seeing my messages pop up but he's been busy. He also got pretty sick for like 5 days with a fever (I could hear it in his voice). He's said that he loves that I text him but "I'm so sorry I'm not giving you the attention you deserve." Of course, I'm drastically overthinking this. Am I texting too much? Do I look desperate? I don't want to keep texting without any potential conversation because that's pointless. I'm literally googling "How much do 33 year old men text?" because I'm so freaking anxious. All my prior dating experiences have been non-stop texting/talking until a relationship forms or I cut it off because there's no click there. However, the last time I've been single was at 26 and dating younger guys.
He HAS called a few times in between errands or whatever but we don't know each other's schedules and the time difference (5 hours) makes it a bit difficult. And I don't want to be the crazy person calling him all the time to see if HE'S free. Again, overthink overthink.
On Wednesday I was honestly about to make this reddit post because I'm so anxious and have so many questions. But then he actually calls me! And we get to talk for an hour and it's wonderful and time passed so quick. His English isn't so great so he kept apologizing (another reason why it may be difficult for him to text and respond) but I honestly love it. We went through the memes I had sent over the days and it was just a lovely conversation and he assured me that he feels bad he's been so busy and he will be more free over the next few weeks to talk. (!!! Yay he wants to keep talking!!!) And also he showers me with more compliments which I LOVE. Words of affirmation is my LOVE LANGUAGE.
It's now Sunday and I've heard little from him. I know he went away on vacation for a few days and again apologized he wasn't able to respond because he was away. I keep texting him because he keeps telling me he likes when my messages pop up. But I'm just not sure what to believe and I don't want to feel desperate or push him away with bombarding him with messages about my day and pictures of me. He sent me a good morning voice message yesterday and a 20 second "I'm at work, how are you?" message midday but nothing since. I keep texting like normal but I feel insane doing so. I genuinely enjoy texting but I don't want him to be like "oh this chick is crazy and WAY too into me". Although, as far as I know, he hasn't even been online on WhatsApp. And what's the point of stringing me along when I'm not even there or available for a hookup? He hasn't even joked or asked about coming to the US through me which would honestly be a good reason for him to keep talking to me lol!
Again, not looking for advice on a LDR lmao I'll figure that part out. I'm more looking for advice or feedback or what appropriate texting is like in our 30s, what casual dating looks like when you don't see each other or are busy, how to see if a guy really likes you, when to believe what they say, when to ask about the intentions, what a realistic timeframe is, etc etc. I have to figure that out just going forward in dating as an adult in general.
Any input or conversation is appreciated!! I feel like I'm going crazy!!! <3
TL;DR: Made a crush abroad. He keeps saying he want's to talk to me but it's been inconsistent. However, it's only been about 9 days since I've been back home.
Edited for grammar.

This is about to be long because i love story telling so i apologize but someone out there, PLEASE read it. Not sure if this is the best place to post this, so feel free to redirect me somewhere else, but i need to know if I’m crazy or not.
Now over 2 years ago in the late winteearly spring, my best friend tried to set me up with someone (her soon to be husbands best friend). I live in the midwest and he is from the same city BUT he is stationed on the west coast in the military. (Red flag, i know) I’m not sure why i followed through with talking to him knowing he is so far away, but the way she described him and his personality, i felt like i just had to. The universe told me to. Turns out we have A LOT in common. Very similar sense of humor and personality and views on life and all that nonsense. We really hit it off. We would talk every night for hours and all day long as well. He would talk about me to his friends like he’s never talked about anyone. Which truly made me think that he was into me since he would talk about it with his friends and not just tell me these things. Especially since men don’t usually express feelings like that from my experience. This lasted about 6 months. Which sounds like a long time for a situationship but keep in mind i wasn’t exactly able to see him in person. (Biggest reason on why shouldn’t have ever slid into those dm’s in the first place) He would talk about flying home or helping fly me out to see each other but plane tickets at that time were through the roof like everything else. On top of paying for a hotel and such. So it just wasn’t working out for us. The longer we talked, the stronger our bond was. As strong as it could be anyway. It never died out either and because of that, i didn’t see what was coming next.
One day i realized he didn’t respond for quite awhile and even left me on read. Which I’m not psycho and that stuff usually doesn’t bother me, but something in my gut just felt off. I tried to gaslight myself into believing nothing was wrong despite the fact my gut was telling me otherwise. Three days pass and still nothing. I tried reaching out a couple more times but i also didn’t want to seem obsessive or crazy.
One morning i finally woke up to THE text. Basically the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel. Thinking back on it now, it probably was never going to work then. And he’s actually still stationed out there so it still to this day would not work. I’ve come to terms with that. I understand. But that’s not the issue i have. Was it something i did? Was it something he did but didn’t want to admit? Did he get the ick? Why was it so abrupt? I personally have never gotten closure from it. And that’s probably part of the reason i still have strong feelings. After that day i didn’t speak to him again and he didn’t speak to me. Unadded each other on everything and that was it.
Fast forward to nearing the end of the year. My friend (mentioned earlier) is marrying her soon to be husband. I am a bridesmaid and guess who happens to be a groomsmen. At this point, he has a girlfriend, who is going to be his plus one. (As she should be. Rightfully so.) Keep in mind, him and I never met in person. So this was going to be a first for both of us. Not sure how he reacts in situations like that, but at least he has his girlfriend there as a “distraction” you could say. I only had me and my anxious thoughts. I don’t do well in these scenarios. I thought maybe just seeing him would somehow give me that closure, it did not. And it made everything 10x worse. I’ve never felt more overwhelmed in my life. It was almost embarassing although nobody really knew what was going on because I played it off very well. Originally i was supposed to walk with him, but fortunately that changed. He was still right behind me though so doing the rehearsal over and over was hard. I felt his presence and the tension was thick. His girlfriend wasn’t at the rehearsal, but she was at the wedding. And after i didn’t think it could get any worse, seeing them together absolutely made it worse. (Fortunately the open bar was my best friend that night.) I survived the wedding weekend and i didn’t see him again after that.
I was going through a depression spell. My best friend married into the military and moved to the east coast shortly after the wedding on top of everything else i was feeling and couldn’t stop thinking about. Fast forward a few months and my friend comes back home for a week to visit. Her and i get to talking and i just completely break down. (in the steak n shake parking lot with a garlic steakburger stuffed in my mouth as one does) Now a known fact about me is that i have a very hard time with love. I think about how short life is and i don’t want to waste my time. Every possible “bachelor” i meet, I’m interested in for about a week or two and then totally lose all interest and feelings in the blink of an eye. For a long time i thought there was something wrong with me. I’ve only had one boyfriend and despite being together for a year, something didn’t feel right the whole time but i was new to it all and didn’t think much of it until i was in too deep. I’ve never been able to see myself getting married or having kids or growing old or even just being intimate with most, if not all, of my situation/relationships. And i could see myself really living my best life with him.
I’m telling my friend how i just feel like it’s not over. I don’t know if it was because i didn’t get the closure i needed or what. But i felt like i was seeing signs everywhere that it was not over forever and that he will enter my life again. And she agreed. She too felt the same way. And i know she wasn’t just saying that because it’s what i wanted to hear. She’s not like that. Her saying that made me feel a little less crazy honestly. I just feel some deep connection with this boy even being 1000 miles away.
So from then on through today, i keep seeing signs. I see his name everywhere, I’ve ran into his mom before which was odd. He’s in my dreams. He’s just on my mind 24/7. There are more signs but you know. And it’s SO frustrating really. I wish it would end but i can’t make it stop. And it’s been so long, it’s embarrassing. I don’t bring him up. His name never leaves my lips. No one knows i still feel this way. Not even my best friend anymore because i felt like i was being very annoying about it. I don’t need her thinking I’m crazy. I’m not a homewrecker. I’m going to leave him be and let him and his girlfriend live their happy life. Reaching out feels like the last thing i should do. Mostly embarrassing but also just all around a bad idea.
I’m also not totally trying to hold out for him. I’ve tried being with someone else and it only lasted a month before i realized that being with this guy is totally unfair because i know i still have feelings that i can’t get rid of for someone else. And I’m not going to do that to someone. I’ve had other opportunities come my way and I’ve even gone through a “manic” phase trying to change my whole look and personality to see if becoming a whole new person would help fix me. (It did not. It sent me into a very deep depression actually. Do not recommend) I’m still young. In my early/mid 20s. I get told i have plenty of time to figure it all out. But no one really knows how much time they have left. I try not to think about that but i don’t want to have any regrets when that time comes. And spending my whole life hyper fixating on one person would be a regret.
It all sounds so underwhelming in writing because it’s hard to really fathom my true thoughts in words. Am i crazy for feeling this way? Is there anyone else out there who can relate? Is there a way to fix this? What is wrong with me?!

I’m nacho and CF. I don’t complain about the messes, the noise, etc., to my partner or his kids. I let them do their thing. I don’t tell anyone what to do, I don’t really make any rules. My only request has been that the kids not be allowed to barge into our bedroom without at least knocking first. It has been over a year and they’re still not getting it…well one of them isn’t. It took me yelling at the other one for her to get it (and boy did she get it). SO has talked to them, but clearly that’s not working and there are never any consequences. So now I lock the door. Any time I’m in my room or we are in our room, I lock the door. If I don’t, inevitably someone will barge in.
Yesterday morning SO got up early way before me. I went back to sleep and didn’t realize that he failed to lock the door when he went downstairs. At 7am, a child busts up in my room and wakes me up while I’m sleeping naked in my bed. It really was the last straw for me. I text my SO “Thanks for leaving the door unlocked so your fucking kid that doesn’t listen can bust up in the room while I’m sleeping naked and wake me up.” Again, this is my ONE boundary and it has been told to them over and over and over. Instead of talking to the kid and doling out some kind of consequence because that is RUDE AF behavior, he gets defensive at me. Never mind that I had a funeral to go to on this morning. So I was super irritated, got ready to go, didn’t say shit to anyone and stayed gone the entire day until I got home at 10pm.
This morning I’m in my room, door locked, and I kid you not…had the door not been locked I would’ve been busted in on TWICE. I text my SO about it and said I’m fed up, there’s never any consequences, I pay bills here and I have a right to feel comfortable in my own home…particularly in my own room.
The kids are old enough to be able to grasp a rule…definitely after a whole year. My dogs learn faster and listen better. Harsh? Maybe. But it’s true. When I’m in the room alone, there’s no reason they should be trying to come in there when their dad is downstairs.
I’m over it. I went downstairs with my AirPods in so I wouldn’t have to listen to anyone while i made my breakfast. Kid comes up to me and asks me to get something, I didn’t even take my AirPods out, don’t even know what she asked. Just looked over and said “go ask your dad.” You wanna be rude? Well I’m done being miss nice lady while you disregard my feelings. IDGAF. Go ask your dad, leave me alone. I took my coffee and breakfast upstairs to my room and locked the door. I don’t hang out with rude children. I’m at the point where if I get intruded on one more time, I’m about to start really being a menace and hurting some feelings. If you don’t parent your children, someone else in the world is going to teach them the lessons you didn’t and I guaran damn tee it’s not going to be as nice as you would have.
How is it that a 14 month old baby was the most well behaved child I encountered yesterday? Fucking hell.
If this happens again, my next update will be “welp I made a kid cry today and IDGAF.” I’ve been more than patient.

I’m a single mom of two boys. I reconnected with my childhood crush (let’s call him “R” and things started out slow and steady mainly because he was shy & inexperienced while I was going through my own issues with court battle and insecurities (college and finances) after leaving my ex years ago. We have this instant connection together, fell in love and both work 3rd shift in healthcare but it was more of a pull and push situation based off our FA attachment. If it helps I’m a Sagittarius Sun, Scorpio moon and he’s an Aries Sun, Cancer moon. I’m a scorpio Venus and he’s a Taurus Venus.
He started taking purposing me more seriously last year (we started talking August of 2022). He wanted me to meet my kids, his family and friends but with school, work and court I just couldn’t make the time and was over our flopping relationship. He started to distance and pop back up now often. I had a feeling he was talking to someone else which he denied. Last October I caught a girl’s text come up on his car play and he denied it saying it was a tenant. December I found her tik tok and found out that she wasn’t and they had a picture together in one of the photo dumps. I confronted him and he blocked me. Telling her we were toxic and nothing serious.
That same December I found out I was miscarrying and failed out of my classes. Since then I’ve reached out but pulled back. He made several fake Snapchats and number to reach out to me. Begging for me back, asking about trying again for a family just for her to post them together. Made plans with me on Mother’s Day just to ghost me.
Everything has been incredibly hard for me. I can’t stop seeing if they’re together. It’s worse because I come from a toxic family and moved back with my mother to focus on school which I can’t now due to my school balance. My support system is worse than ever and my children’s father and wife are just a narcissist nuisance.
I’m so lonely and just want to surround myself with better people, support and positivity but it’s hard when I’m unfamiliar with what that looks like nor have the time to really search out for it. R was like my left hand so it’s hard for me to throw it all away. If anyone has any advice on how to reconnect with one’s self and create a better environment as a single mom please let me know? I’m losing all hope in people & myself.

The second half of a long chapter.
“Oh, professor page,” I heard Anna yell from the living room, “You better get your ass out here quick.”
I quickly rinsed off my hands scurried into the living room, greeted by the two couples sprawled out on the sectional couch in their swimwear, Anna and Kelly in string bikinis and Archer and Paul in speedos. My cock was never limp that day, but there were moments – typically, those of the most intense humiliation – when it was harder than others. Seeing the four fit young bodies in all (or at least, most of) their glory was one of them. And while my gaze naturally was first drawn to Anna’s toned, long legs and taut midriff, followed by Kelly shorter, but still attractive legs and pretty toes, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to admiration of the slender, muscular swimmer bodies of the two young men as well.
My eyes also drifted over Paul’s bare feet. It was the first time I had seen bare the feet I had kissed in the bar through his sneakers or in the apartment through his thick wool socks. I was curious, naturally, but didn’t want to be too obvious, so quickly averted my glance before getting a good look. I need not have worried, however, as I would be spending a great deal of time up close and personal with his bare feet (and Anna’s) in the months that followed, starting a few minutes later. Paul did not have the same obsession with having his feet worshipped as Luke did, but there is no question that he greatly enjoyed the power trip of having an older authority figure quite literally at his feet.
I must also confess that in addition to dwelling as long as I dared on the breasts of Anna (like Brooke’s, ample but not overly large) and Kelly (slightly larger and, to my mind, less proportional to her shorter frame), my eyes also flittered over the speedo-clad crotches of Paul and Archer. Speedos leave so little to the imagination. While I was mortified when forced to wear a speedo, my inadequacy on full display, these two young athletes were completely at ease. Their muscular, chiseled bodies were one explanation for that; the size of their bulges was another.
“Perhaps the professor page can stop ogling our bodies long enough to get us all another round of drinks,” said Anna.
Kelly said, “I think he’s staring more at the boys’ bodies than he is at ours, Anna. I’m jealous.”
“Most cucks are closet fags, so that’s no surprise,” said Paul.
I wanted to object that I wasn’t gay, closet or otherwise. I wanted to say, “What about you, someone who enjoys humiliating other males, forcing them to dress in feminine clothing, spanking their bare bottoms with your bare hands, perhaps other, more intimate things….What does all of that make you?” But I dared not I was say anything of the kind. Instead I simply confirmed their drink orders and hurried off to make them, checking on my stroganoff. And being honest with myself, while I knew beyond a doubt that I was not homosexual, I did have to admit that I was not immune to the physical attractions of dominant, young alpha males. Did I have this attraction prior to the events of the last seven months when Luke came onto the scene like a cyclone? Probably on some level, yes, but it had been latent. No longer.
When I returned to the living room with a serving tray holding their four cocktails, trying hard not to spill any of them, Paul said, “We know our page boy knows how to clean shoes, but what about other personal duties? Who besides me would like a foot massage?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea, dude. Count me in,” said Archer.
“You two boys go ahead. If he does a good job, Kelly and I may have him massage our feet as well,” said Anna.
“Start with Archer. On your knees, of course, page,” said Paul.
“Yes sir,” I said, kneeling before Archer, and beginning to work on his feet with warmup twists and arch rubs. His feet were somewhat calloused, but well formed.
“Ah, that feels good. He’s actually not too bad at this,” Archer said.
Pointing at my crotch, Kelly said, “Look, his little cock is stiff again. Are you excited to massage my boyfriend’s feet, professor?” As she spoke, she pressed her toes lightly against my cock through my tights. It surprised me that it was Kelly, rather than Anna (or even Paul), to first touch my liberated cock.
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“No? But your little stiffie says otherwise. Are you not being honest with us, professor?” She pressed a little harder with her foot, smiling wickedly.
In truth, the entire situation was incredibly arousing and, therefore, incredibly humiliating. Which made it still more arousing. It was a viscous cycle, one which I had been getting increasingly used to with Luke and Brooke. But the dynamics with my students and Archer were different, and, if anything, more intense. Was it the greater age disparity, the bigger inversion of authority, the fact that there was an element of coercion involved? All of the above? Brooke would tell me that I think about these things too much. She would counsel me to go with flow, enjoy the game, embrace the sheer eroticism of it all. I tried valiantly to do just that. Can one be valiant in accepting servitude and abuse?, I wondered (see how I over analyze everything?!)
Lancelot would no doubt have answered my question in the affirmative. Yet, his servitude was solely to Guinevere, and the abuse and humiliations he suffered were solely to satisfy her commands, her whims. Whereas Brooke was not even aware of my servitude to my students. Still, I could tell myself – with some degree of honesty – that the indignities I was suffering at their hands were because of my devotion to Brooke. Because I was in their power as a direct consequence of my obedience to Luke, and I was obedient to Luke for Brooke and Brooke alone. The frail heartbeat of chivalry was still detectable (to me, at least). Perhaps the time had come to tell Brooke of my predicament with Paul and Anna? But there was something so shameful about it. Would it diminish me in Brooke’s eyes in some different, profound and irrevocable way? Or would she hug me, perhaps even thank me for my sacrifice, and tell me everything will be okay?
These were the myriad thoughts that ran through my head as I also contemplated my response to Kelly’s fraught question. “No, princess, I mean, it’s all of your feet…,” I answered,lamely.
She snickered. “Well, you are the Liitle Foot Page, so I guess it makes sense that you’re turned on by feet.”
“Pretty much all submissive guys are turned on by feet. Issac is insane for my feet,” said Anna. You will recall that Issac was the young male slave in Paul’s and Anna’s stable.
“Not just submissive men. Cindy loves worshiping your feet too, babe,” Paul said to Anna. If you recall, Cindy (who, like Issac, I had not yet met at that point) was another member of Paul’s and Anna’s stable of slaves, a fellow student at the college whose intense crush on Paul was not reciprocated. Instead, he put her squarely into “ the friendzone,” eventually introducing her to Anna. Cindy was now a submissive servant to both of them, grateful to be part of Paul’s life under any circumstances.
Anna said to Kelly, “I don’t know about you, but I love having my feet pampered and having my toes sucked, and love the sight of submissive creatures groveling at my feet. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine in a million fucking years being the one doing the sucking or groveling. I have no desire to be that close to anyone’s feet.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t even want to kiss Archer if he sucked my toes. Ew, gross,” said Kelly, with a little shudder.
Archer interjected, “Yo’ve got nothing to worry about there, darling. You have pretty feet, but I have zero desire to kiss or lick them.”
“Or course you don’t, you’re not a perv, like the good professor here. Professor pervert, kiss the bottom of the foot you’re massaging. You don’t mind having your feet kissed, do you sweetheart?” Kelly asked Archer.
“No, I have no problem being worshipped. And I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I don’t care if it’s a submissive cuck like this loser doing the worshiping.”
“That’s what I love about you, sweetheart. You’re masculine, dominant AND open minded. That’s like icing on a yummy cake.,” Kelly said, as she started to kiss Archer passionately. “Professor, keep kissing the bottoms of my man’s feet while we make out.”
I kissed the balls of Archer’s feet, trying to avoid the callouses. I wondered: aren’t swimmers more prone to plantar warts, walking around all those bacteria-riddled pools and locker rooms in their bare feet? I knew plantar warts are highly contagious. Could I get warts on my lips or in my mouth? I made a mental note to research this on-line later. From extensive experience with Brooke and Luke, I was well aware of the aphrodisiac effect my submission could have on a couple dominating me. The exact reasons for this still remain something of a mystery to me. Just like you have to be a masochist to understand certain things, I guess you have to be a dominant or a sadist to understand others.
As if reading my thoughts, Anna said, “I think submissives’ brains must be wired differently. They have to be for them to enjoy feet so much. I mean, sometimes after we work out at the gym, Paul and I will rest our feet right on Cindy’s face. Can you imagine? Our sweaty, wet socks covering her nose and mouth. You’d think she’d have some self-respect and tell us to go to hell. Or, at a minimum, that she’d complain about the smell. Not that my feet smell, of course, but Paul’s smell something awful after he’s been working out,” she smiled at him.
“Yeah, right, babe,” Paul replied. He then explained to Kelly and Archer, “Don’t believe anything she says about her feet not smelling. The smell of her foot sweat is overpowering.”
“Bullshit,” Anna said, smiling and hitting him on the shoulder. “But, like I was saying, far from protesting, Cindy actually inhales the smell of our sweat socks and our sweaty feet. She almost looks as if she’s in ecstasy, like she’s smelling perfume or fresh flowers or something. And she even looks happy when she’s licking the toe jam and lint from between my toes. It’s disgusting. But it’s pretty funny watching her. And I like the sensation of her tongue on my toes.”
“It’s what I’ve been telling you for awhile now, babe. Submissives are intellectually inferior. They’re sexual deviants. By humiliating and abusing them, we’re giving them what they want, what they need, in fact. So there’s no reason for us to feel bad when we mistreat them. We’re actually doing them a favor,” said Paul.
Paul was a Psychology major and fancied himself some sort of authority on this subject apparently, although it was clear to me that he was greatly oversimplifying what were, in reality, very complicated human relationship dynamics. He also had a facile understanding of human intelligence. Under different circumstances, I might have tried to engage him in a debate. But to have done so at that moment would have been the height of folly, so I kept my mouth shut and my fingers busy.
After spending 15 minutes on Archer’s feet, I massaged the feet of my three students for the same amount of time (timed by Paul). Paul and Anna kissed each other while I worked on Anna’s feet, much as Archer and Kelly had done. Each insisted I respectfully kiss the bottoms of their feet after finishing the massage. Paul was last. While I massaged his feet, Anna prodded my balls with her high heel shoe, laughing as my cock twitched through my tights. Having been denied release for so long, my biggest fear was that all of the stimuli – the scantily-clad, young bodies, the humiliating dissection of my fetishes, the pressure of Anna’s foot (which she occasionally brushed against my the underside of my shaft) – would cause me to ejaculate. The thought of that was beyond mortifying, so I did everything I could possibly do to distract myself mentally.
Their ongoing conversation about feet did not make my task an easy one.
“Rollins, you’re actually pretty good at this. In a sensible world, you would be spending your time in your classes massaging all of your students’ feet rather than lecturing to them. It’s a better use of your talents.” There did seem to be a general consensus that I have a knack (was Paul’s term, “talent,” too strong a word) for giving foot massages. I guess there’s at least one thing I can do well with my hands after all, I thought to myself.
“Now, Paul. Don’t be cruel. I’ve had some pretty good courses with Professor Foot Page. I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t lecture while he massages everyone’s feet.” Kelly giggled.
Anna snickered. “Can you picture it? I can. He would be dressed just as he is now, crawling from student to student.”
“Yes, and then he could massage the feet of all of the other faculty members of the English department,” said Kelly, giggling.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t already massaging Neil Lawson’s feet. Lawson already has him fetching his coffee. Or he did today, at least. There’s definitely something going on there,” said Paul.
I couldn’t decide whether to be relieved Paul didn’t know any specifics or to be distressed that he was so suspicious – and that his instincts were correct. I remained silent.
Paul continued, “He obviously has a big foot fetish, like most submissives. Rollins, you ought to consider having a whole chapter dedicated to foot worship in that book you’re working on. You’ll be a real authority on the subject before we’re finished with you.”
Putting aside the implicit threat in his last remark, Paul actually might be on to something, I thought. I had been struggling with the organization of my book, which had really evolved quite a bit over the last six months. While I still aimed to show how medieval courtly poetry was what started the rich history of male masochism in western literature, I was increasingly focusing on contemporary BDSM cuckold fiction and what had clearly been an explosion in interest in that lifestyle in recent years, globally.
Miraculously, I was able to get through the massages and constant teasing without ejaculating. About halfway into my 5-hour stay at the condo, I served the four of them dinner, trying to remember to curtsy at all the required moments. They had changed back into the clothes they were wearing before their swim, Anna and Kelly in short skirts, stockings and heels and Paul and Archer in jeans and polo shirts. Anna kept her little notepad next to her plate on the table, and occasionally wrote in it, causing me further anxiety. When not going back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, I was expected to stand by the table at attention – to refill glasses of the wine I had purchased, fold the napkins of anyone who got up from the table, or do anything else ordered of me. My cock tented out my tights the entire time, of course. My self consciousness about this at least had the advantage of taking my mind off my hunger somewhat, as I enviously watched the four of them eat the meal I had prepared (I sampled the stroganoff as I was cooking it, and thought it came out quite well).
Anna invited everyone to critique the meal afterwards, and it was generally agreed upon that the beef and mushroom sauce was delicious, but that the pasta was overcooked. The salad and dressing was a success, but the Italian green beans less so. I was grateful that Anna had not required me to also prepare dessert.
“Well, Professor maid, it seems that both punishments and a reward are in order for your uneven meal and service. You also earned demerits for failure to curtsy on at least four occasions – I’m sure that I missed others – and continued deficiencies in your technique. Also for how you walked in heels earlier. The mushy pasta and beans were also unacceptable. On the other hand, the stroganoff itself was excellent, as was the salad and dressing. The boys will administer your punishment, and Kelly and I will grant you your reward.”
I replied, with a curtsy, “Yes, princess. Thank you, princess.” The truth of the matter is I didn’t know which of the two caused me greater dread: the punishment or the reward.
“Which should we give him first?”, asked Kelly.
Paul said, “Definitely the punishment first. We need to leave enough time for the redness of his ass to fade in case Luke or his wife want to punish him as well when he gets home.”
“And a submissive freak like him will probably enjoy his reward more with a sore ass. I’ve calculated that he’s owed 120 spanks. 100 from today, and the 20 we didn’t give him on Tuesday that he was due. Which one oy you strapping young men will do the honors?”, said Anna.
“This is going to be so much fun to watch,” said Kelly gleefully.
“It’s going to be hot,” said Anna. “I get all tingly watching Paul punish the slaves. Especially the beta males and sissies.”
“I know you do, girlfriend. Me too,” said Kelly. “I think it’s only fair that each of the boys give him sixty spanks, so you and I get to enjoy this equally,” said Kelly.
“Sounds good. Okay with you guys?,” said Anna.
“Fine. After you,” Paul said to Archer.
“Happy to dish out some discipline to the old cuck. Should we take him up to the dungeon and put him over the bench?”, asked Archer.
“No need to. We have to use our hands for now because we can’t leave any asting marks on his ass. So just take him over your knee,” Paul replied.
“Oh, how I wish we could cane or strap him! I think the cane is a lot more persuasive than just your hands. And the welts can be lovely,” said Anna.
“Someday, babe. You just have to be patient,” said Paul. “Not one of your strong suits, I realize.”
“Don’t worry, ladies. I will make sure his spanking is plenty persuasive. Get over my knees, old man,” commanded Archer.
“Yes, sir.” I draped myself over his knees, incredibly ashamed as I felt my hard cock press through my tights against the jeans covering his firm thighs.
“Do you feel his little stiffie on your leg, honey?,” Kelly asked, tittering.
“I do, but not for long. I’m going to beat it out of him. By the time I’m finished with him, he’ll be as limp as one of the overcooked noodles he served us,” said Archer. I felt his sizable hand resting on the center of my tights-clad bottom. Without warning, he lifted his hand and brought it down sharply on my right cheek.
I typically tried to be stoic in such moments, but the ferocity of his strike (and the suddenness of it) caused me to cry out, “Ouch!” I heard the amusement of our audience.
“That’s right, honey. Give it to him good! Pull down his tights and give it to him on the bare,” said Kelly.
Archer did as Kelly requested. What followed were repeated, loud smacking sounds of flesh striking flesh – as Archer carefully alternated cheeks – accompanied by a slow but steady buildup of pain. The tights had offered negligible protection. The sound was the big difference, but it seemed to provide a more satisfying sensory experience for my three students, who were witnessing the remarkable spectacle of their professor being punished like a naughty child. By the 30th spank or so, the pain was intense. And Archer was correct, my cock had deflated under his relentless assault on my bottom. Not as severe as a cane or strapping certainly, but a hand spanking that rivaled Luke’s in intensity.
I heard Kelly say, “Now that’s what I’m talking about. Look at that shade of red, will you?”
“Not as lovely as welts, but not bad,” added Anna.
By the 50th spank, my attempt at stoicism was a distant memory.
“Please, sir. Please don’t hit me so hard.” He ignored me, delivering the final ten with extra zeal, if anything. When he was finished, it was difficult for my mind to process the fact that my chastisement was only halfway complete.
After Archer pushed me unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor, my tights still lowered to just below my poor, tenderized bottom, Kelly ordered me to stand up. I started to pull up my tights as I stood, but she said with surprising sternness, “Did I say you could pull up your tights, professor? Leave them down so we can all get a proper look at your little cock. Turn around and stand before us. Put your hands on top of your head.”
When I complied with her order, my cock was still quite limp, somewhat shriveled even. But almost as soon as I stood up, I felt it began to stir under their scrutiny.
“Look at the tiny, hairless thing.,” said Anna, smiling contemptuously.
“Pathetic,” said Archer, with a sneer.
“Oh, look. It’s starting to get bigger. That was quick! It must like all of the attention,” laughed Kelly.
With each humiliating comment, it grew harder. My ass was burning, but no longer under a constant barrage (for the moment, at least), the sensation only fueled my involuntary, indeed most unwanted, arousal.
“It looks like it’s up to me beat his hard-on back out of him,” said Paul, patting his knee. “Come over here, Rollins, so I can finish your correction. Leave your tights down. You have 60 more coming.”
As this was unthinkable to me, I felt compelled to try to negotiate – or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say, grovel. When I walked over to where Paul was sitting, rather than lie over his knees, I dropped to my own, at his feet.
“My lord, Sir Archer’s punishment was quite severe. I’m not sure that I can take another 60 right now. I beg you to show some mercy to your lowly page by deferring some of my punishment until next Tuesday.” I then grasped his right foot with my hands and began kissing the tops of his brown, leather shoe. “Please, my lord.”
That Paul was triumphant, bringing me to my knees and abasing myself at his feet – even without being expressly commanded to do so – was clearly evident in his supremely smug, self-satisfied expression. It was painful to behold, but not as painful as another 60 spanks on my already wounded bottom would be. Groveling was a skill that I been refining over the last several months with Luke, so I continued my efforts.
“Please, my lord. Surely you and Princess Anna have some more dry cleaning that needs to be done or some other errands that need to be run. Your humble page is at your disposal.”
“This is a trip,” said Kelly.
“It IS a sign of strength for a ruler to occasionally grant mercy. What do you think, babe?”, said Anna.
“I’m considering it,” said Paul. “Sharing information might help your cause, page. Tell me, what is the story with you bringing Neil Lawson a cup of coffee today? That coffee shop is on the other side of campus. Is that a service that you regularly provide for him? Before you answer, you should know that if I sense you’re not being completely truthful, I’ll add 20 spanks to your punishment now, rather than reduce or defer any of it. If I find out you’re lying after the fact, the consequences for you will be dire.”
To say that I felt somewhat trapped at that moment would be an understatement. I certainly didn’t want to reveal any information to Paul about the nature of my relationship with my colleague, and yet I felt that not doing so was perilous. The slippery slope, again.
So, I continued my descent. “I bring Neil a cup of coffee four days a week, my lord.”
“Why? Are you his lackey or something? You’re senior to him on the faculty, right? Shouldn’t he be the one bringing you coffee, if anything?”
“It’s true that Neil doesn’t have tenure yet but he’s up for tenure in the spring. But it’s not like junior faculty members run errands or anything like that for senior faculty members. It’s just that Neil knows that I’m on a diet and feels that the exercise will do me good. He takes a personal interest in my health and physical fitness, as my friend.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me. I’ve seen Neil lifting weights with Luke at the gym a couple of times. It looks like they’re getting to be pretty chummy.”
“Yes, my lord, they like to work out together. They bond over sports.”
“Interesting. Is Neil aware of your weekly weigh-ins and punishments for failing to lose weight?”, Paul continued his interrogation.
“Yes, my lord,” I answered, deeply ashamed.
“Well, you’ve definitely lost quite a bit of weight, professor. Keep up the good work!”, said Kelly, with seeming sincerity. What a surreal moment this was, I thought to myself.
“Thank you, Princess Kelly.”
“Does Luke allow Neil to witness your weigh-ins and punishments,” Paul asked.
“Yes, my lord. Twice.”
“Keep kissing my shoes when you’re not speaking. Does Luke allow Neil to participate in your punishments?”
“Yes, my lord. Once.” I started kissing the bottom of his right shoe.
Being humiliated and punished by Luke was shameful. Neil’s participation in my punishment and humiliation made it infinitely more so. Being humiliated and punished by my students was incredibly shameful. Them knowing that Neil, another professor in my department, not only was aware of, but even took an active part in my punishment and humiliation was indescribably shameful. It was more than a slippery slope. It was quicksand. And I was sinking deeper by the second.
Paul was not yet done with his interrogation, however. “What other services do you provide for Professor Lawson, besides bringing him coffee?”
I hesitated. But mindful of Paul’s warning (he did seem to have some mysterious ability to intuit and/or discover things about me), I came clean, thereby deepening the pit in which I was sinking: “On Wednesdays, when he has several back-to-back classes, I have started to massage his feet in his office.”
“I knew it! Last week when I walked into his office and you were there, you were acting very nervous. I saw his shoes on the floor next to his desk. There’s not really many reasons to take off your shoes and socks on a freezing day. I had a sneaky suspicion that that’s what was going on. You’re an even bigger beta than I could’ve conceived of, Rollins. Is there anyone you’re not subservient to?”
“Yes, my lord….I mean, prior to 10 months ago…I wasn’t submissive to anyone….except in…my…my, imagination. Everything’s different now…”
“You’re leading a male masochist’s dream! Lick the bottom of my shoe. Do you realize how extraordinarily fortunate you are, old man?”
“Yes, my lord,” I said before reapplying my tongue to the sole of Paul’s shoe.
“This discussion has been very useful. You’ve given me all kinds of ideas about how to further enhance your submissive experience to make it truly exceptional. To make it world class. All the building blocks are already in place. We just need to find a way to integrate them,” Paul said.
“Look how hard his baby cock is! He loves the idea!”, said Anna.
“Now lie down across my lap. The new information I learned just now has caused me to feel magnanimous, so I will grant you mercy by deferring 20 of your spanks until Tuesday and pardoning 10 altogether,” Paul said.
At that exact moment, having my remaining punishment cut in half (at least for that day), I was more grateful about the present reprieve than concerned about any possible future danger that might result from Paul’s increased knowledge. It was only later, during many restless, sleep-deprived nights, that I began to really worry about the possible implications of Paul knowing that I was also submissive to my fellow professor.
“You are very kind, my lord,” I said as his hand came crashing down on the center of my ass. The irony of the moment produced hearty laughter from both Anna and Kelly.
My tights were still lowered, so my erect, bare cock pressed against the denim – a coarser variety than Archer’s – of Paul’s jeans. How much shame could one person endure in a single evening? But it was only 8:30 PM; I still had over an hour left with my young tormentors.
Whereas Archer’s technique was to alternate cheeks, Paul preferred picking one spot and sticking to it for repeated spanks. He focused on the center of my bottom, initially 10 strikes where the crack of my ass began and then moving methodically lower until the final 20 were on the area closest to my scrotum. Unfortunately, Paul hit harder today than on my last visit, no doubt making sure he at least matched the force of Archer in front of the two young women, who were watching with rapt attention. As he delivered the final twenty or so spanks, the pain was searing and I began kicking my legs more and more and squirming around on his lap in a futile attempt to alleviate it, or to escape. On the bright side, my erection quickly subsided under the intensity of his assault.
“Stay still, or I will add the 30 back,” he warned, sternly, grabbing my right arm and holding it tightly behind my back with his free hand.
When he was finally done, he roughly pulled up my tights, producing a wedgie effect, and almost playfully swatted my bottom twice, saying, “You may get up now. Go stand in the corner. Hands behind your head.”
I did as commanded, but Kelly objected, “Why did you pull his tights back up? I want to see what shade of red his ass is now.”
“Lower your tights, page boy,” ordered Anna.
“Yes, princess,” I said, following her command. My eyes were wet with tears, but I was hoping they wouldn’t notice. I wanted to at least deprive them of the satisfaction that they caused me to cry.
“Do I hear sniffling, professor? Did getting spanked by his big, mean student make the poor, wimpy professor cry?”
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“I’m not sure I believe you,” Kelly replied.
“Look at his ass. The color reminds me of raw hamburger meat. Are you sure it will heel quickly enough, babe?”, asked Anna.
“Archer and I hit him hard, but not hard enough for any permanent bruises. The color will fade quickly,” said Paul. “Sort of like a sunset. An intense color that fades quickly.”
“Too bad. It’s such a lovely color, “ said Kelly.
After 10 minutes, during which they passed around a joint and continued to tease me, Anna said, “You’re right, the color is starting to fade already. Turn around, you naughty page boy, and face us. Keep your hands on your head.”
“Well, the color of ass may be like setting like the sun, but his little cock is compensating for it,” said Kelly, with a giggle.
“Pathetic,” commented the eloquent Archer.
I looked down to see my cock standing at attention through my tights, wishing I could simply disappear. I stood there shamefully for another twenty minutes as they finished a second joint.
After they finished, Anna said, “We’re running out of time before the good professor turns into a pumpkin. It’s time for your reward, professor. Obeisance!”
Recalling last week, I quickly dropped to the floor down on my belly and clasped my hands behind my back.
“Very good. You remembered,” Anna said. “Now slither on your belly to our feet, as we taught you.”
I began my humiliating belly crawl across the floor – only a few feet, but it felt like many more – my hard cock grinding into the hardwood, once again fearful that the combination of the potent humiliation and the stimulus to my cock would result in me ejaculating en route. Fortunately, it did not. Once I reached them, I craned my neck up to look at the four pairs of shoes hovering above me, and planted a kiss on the top of each, as I had been instructed during my last visit.
Anna then said, “Kelly, switch places with Paul, please.”
Once she did, Anna ordered me to lie on my back next to where she and Kelly were seated on the sofa. Rolling over, I winced with pain as my bottom touched the floor. From experience, I knew that sitting would be uncomfortable for the next day or two.
She then said to Kelly, “Do you want to provide the olfactory stimulation or the tactile stimulation?”
As if this was a routine occurrence in their lives, Kelly said, “Oh, definitely the tactile stimulation. It will be fun to toy with his little dicklet. Besides, based on what Paul said about your foot sweat, you’re the one who can provide the best olfactory stimulation.” Kelly chuckled.
“Very funny,” said Anna, smiling. “Very well.”
Anna removed her heels and placed her moist stocking-clad feet directly over my nose and mouth. Kelly kept her heels on and began pressing the toe of her right heel firmly into my balls, through my tights. She then began lightly kicking my balls. It was mildly painful, but not so painful that it caused my hard cock to deflate; it was painful yet still highly arousing, a well calibrated approach that suggested to me that Kelly had some experience tormenting others along similar lines.
“Take deep breaths, professor,” Anna ordered.
Her feet indeed had a strong, distinct odor, at once malodorous and fragrant, sour yet sweet. As I inhaled, Kelly began grinding her heel directly into the underside of my cock, pressing it into my body. Only about three minutes into this sensuous torture, my cock erupted, my semen seeping copiously through my white tights. I groaned involuntarily as I orgasmed, a groan of simultaneous ecstasy and despair. Because I hadn’t come in so long, I produced what was for me at least, a prodigious amount. What appalling, exquisite humiliation! I tried to imagine what it would be like facing my three students in class next week, or for that matter, any time again for the rest of my life. It was certainly a moment that would never be forgotten by anyone in that room.
“It looks like our professor enjoyed his reward,” Kelly said, snickering. “And I could tell when he was about to shoot his wad, so I moved my foot away just in the nick of time.” She picked up her heel and pointed at it, “See no icky professor goo. It’s clean.”
Anna said to me, “You see, being enslaved to us is not all about punishment. There are rewards as well, occasionally.”
“Yes, thank you Princess Anna, Princess Kelly.”
Well, at least I wouldn’t have to lick up my ejaculate this time. Paul threw me a towel. I was permitted to clean myself up and was then ordered to put the towel into the washing machine (by itself, as Anna didn’t want the towel I soiled to be near any of their clothes or linen). I then cleared up the kitchen. Finally, I was allowed to change back into my street clothes. Before I left the apartment, I was required one last time to bow down before each of them, kiss their feet and thank them for allowing me to be of service. I then went down the elevator, relieved to see a different doorman (one who I had never encountered before), who more or less ignored me as I exited the building.
I pulled up to my house at 10:20 P.M., surprised to see the light on in the kitchen. When Brooke and Luke went out to dinner on Thursdays, Luke usually drove, so it was not unusual to see Brooke’s car in the driveway. Maybe they had just forgotten to turn off the lights?
But as I entered the kitchen, I was alarmed to see Brooke sitting alone at the table. Expecting to be asked where I had been, I started trying to think of plausible explanations.
However, Brooke simply looked up at me. She had a glum expression on her face and her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had been crying. Something was definitely up.
“Hi, honey,” I said, nervously.
“Hi.”
“Where’s Luke?”
“He’s gone.”
“Will he back later, or is he staying at his house tonight?”
“He’ll be staying at his house every night from now on.”
“What are you talking about? What happened?”
“Go get a bottle of scotch and two glasses. I need a drink.”

This chapter was too long to post as one, so I’m dividing into two parts. Apologies for it being a bit disjointed.
On Thursday morning, after Luke left early for work and Brooke went for a run, I removed from Brooke’s closet the the gossamer jacket I had worn to the Ren fair and put it into the trunk of my Prius along with the canvas shoes and white tights that had completed my humiliating “Little Foot Page” costume. I dared not disappoint Anna a second time.
Fortunately, I didn’t have any punishment writing lines to complete after I cleaned her and Paul’s apartment on Tuesday. Brooke didn’t force me to wear any new feminine accessory that day. She was so fond of the choker that it had become an almost regular part of my daily attire.
As she kissed me goodbye that morning before I left for campus, she fingered the choker and my neck, saying, “I like this on you. Maybe I’ll order another one with a subtle little ring on it.”
I often couldn’t tell when Brooke was joking or not.
“You mean something where someone could attach a leash? Like a slave collar? Please, Brooke. This is bad enough.”
“No, it wouldn’t have to stick out like that. I said ‘subtle,’ didn’t I? The ring could be flat against your neck. That style is very common. It’s sexy. But I do think we can get you a proper collar to wear at home. I’m thinking leather with silver studs and a nice ring in the front. That one will definitely stick out. Luke and I will look for something on-line.”
Again, was she joking or not? She gave me her full, dimpled smile as she spoke, but that didn’t tell me conclusively one way or another. Nevertheless, her smile, her touch and the nature of the conversation all conspired to cause my liberated cock to grow hard in the lace panties I was wearing under my khakis. I was hoping she wouldn’t notice, so she wouldn’t lock me back up; several hours later, I was wishing that she had noticed.
Except for regular cleanings, and one or two supervised, humiliating releases, I had been locked up pretty consistently over the previous 2 1/2 months. Therefore, I truly enjoyed my freedom most of that Thursday. I had an almost incessant erection, fortunately mostly concealed by my khakis (which were looser than most of the pants I was permitted to wear), even while waiting in line to get Neil’s coffee and while walking across campus in a light snow to bring it to his office. The phrase “microaggressions” had become trendy on college campuses such as mine, referring to insensitive comments people make that are discriminatory or insulting, often even without intending to be. As I knocked on the door to Neil’s office, I thought to myself how I was being subjected not to microaggesions at my college, but rather to microhumiliations. Such as fetching Neil’s coffee.
“Come in,” said Neil, through the door.
Remarkably, seated in the one chair across from Neil’s desk was Paul Betz. Yet again! Alarming and suspicious. Or was I simply being paranoid? Neither of them made any effort to get up from their seats.
I was holding the cup of coffee in a paper bag. Feeling like an idiot, I placed the bag on Neil’s desk.
“Thanks for the coffee, pal,” Neil said, as he removed the cup from the bag. “It’s a bit cold.”
“Sorry, it’s snowing out there,” I replied, absurdly, as if it was even remotely somehow my fault that his coffee wasn’t hot.
“No worries. I’ll warm it up in my microwave. Paul and I were just discussing some swimming techniques. Paul’s team has a big meet this weekend. Is it okay if I catch up with you later?”
Paul looked up at me with an arrogant smirk. I thought to myself: how much strategy could there possibly be to discuss? You jump in the pool and you swim.
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll talk to you later.”
And just like that, I was dismissed. The coffee boy had delivered the coffee and was no longer needed. Why should I care about suffering this microhumiliation in front of Paul, who a few hours later would be subjecting me to any number of macro humiliations? Simply because he was gaining even greater knowledge about me, the nature of my relationships with others in my social circle and the breadth of my submission. Knowledge is power. More knowledge about me, more power over me. Nothing good could possibly come of it.
Paul was his usual arrogant self in class that afternoon, and it was clear that he, Anna and Kelly were all in exaggeratedly good moods, no doubt savoring the thought of interacting with me under radically different circumstances only a few hours later.
Anna was wearing black tights, a short, plaid skirt and black ankle boots. She propped her feet up on the desk in front of her next to Paul’s and said, “Oh, look how dirty my boots are from all the puddles of slush.”
Paul added, “Mine too. Fortunately, our shoeshine boy will be visiting later.”
Kelly sitting two seats to their left, giggled and said, “The cold weather makes me ravenous. What’s for dinner tonight, Anna?”
Anna grinned and answered, “Beef stroganoff. Our shoeshine boy is also an excellent cook, supposedly. A real Renaissance boy.”
“Not a Medieval boy?”, said Kelly. She and Anna both laughed.
Scanning the room, I didn’t believe the other students were picking up on all of the innuendo (or, if they were, I didn’t think they understood what it meant). Nevertheless, one serious female student, not part of Kelly’s clique, looked at me as if to say, “Why are you letting these clowns do and say whatever they want? Why don’t you take control of your classroom?” How I longed to do just that, to put the three of them in their place with some witty remark, as I would have done in the past. The pain of Paul’s spanking on Tuesday still fresh in my mind (if not on my bottom), however, I bit my tongue and timidly began my lecture.
After class, I went to the grocery store to purchase all of the ingredients for Anna’s prescribed menu of beef stroganoff, Italian green beans, and a starter spinach salad with warm bacon dressing (she had even directed me to her preferred recipes on-line — I had tested the salad and dressing on Brooke, with positive reviews). I also purchased the two bottles of not inexpensive red wine specified by Paul.
When I arrived at their condo, holding multiple grocery bags, my nemesis doorman was lying in wait for me, like a snarky Cerberus dressed as a bellhop. My underworld was eleven flights up, however.
“I’m going to apartment 11B. Paul Betz.”
“I have to announce you. Who should I say is calling?”
“The cook. Please tell him the cook is here.”
He spoke into the intercom phone, smirking at me, “Mr. Betz. Someone calling himself the cook is here to visit you. Although I’m pretty sure it’s the same guy who announced himself as the maid on Tuesday. May I send him up?”
Still holding the phone, he then addressed me: “Mr. Betz said they are expecting the maid, not the cook. What should I tell him?”
I sighed. “Please tell him the maid is here.”
“Mr. Betz. He is now no longer pretending to be a cook, but has announced himself as the maid. Very good, sir, I’ll send him right up then.” He put down the phone, his expression more smug by the second, and said, “You may now go up. The elevator…”
I interrupted him. “I know perfectly well where the elevator is, thank you.”
He stopped smirking to glare at me with annoyance for a moment, before resuming his smirk as I entered the elevator with my shopping bags.
When I got to their door, I got down on my knees and waited. Behind the door, I heard talking and sporadic laughter. They only kept me waiting about five minutes that day, and fortunately I was spared any encounters with Paul’s and Anna’s neighbors. It was during those five minutes on my knees, staring down at my cock pushing out my khakis, that I came to the belated realization that it probably wasn’t a good thing to be free of my chastity cage in the circumstances in which I then found myself. As I continued to wait, a sense of panic began to set in, which paradoxically only increased my arousal.
When the door finally opened, I was greeted by Kelly. I was eye level with her short, blue skirt. I looked down at her sheer stocking-encased legs and black, strap-on heels before looking up at her grinning face. She had been wearing jeans in class, but had obviously dressed up for the exciting occasion of being served dinner by her submissive professor. I have not really described Kelly’s appearance much before now, other than to say that she is attractive. Kelly has shoulder length, thick, brown hair and sort of a button nose. She is slender, but not as tall as Anna or Brooke. I would describe her more as cute than truly beautiful like the other two. However, by “cute,“ I don’t want to suggest that Kelly isn’t sexy. She is, but more in a teasing, playful way than the regal Anna. Sometimes it’s those cute, playful ones that you really have to watch out for, I was to learn.
Generally speaking, it occurred to me that, on the cusp of turning 40, I was surrounded by – and subservient to – a number of meaningfully younger people, most of whom were well above average in the looks department. There are a lot of overweight Americans – more in Ohio than in the Northeast, I thought (I’m sure Neil would have said that observation was still further evidence of my elitism) – including a lot of overweight students on my campus. For whatever reason, however, I was this bookish, unathletic guy now surrounded by athletes (Luke, Paul, Anna, Kevin, and even my one contemporary in terms of age, Neil), or fitness freaks (Brooke) or the generally attractive people who they chose to associate with (like Kelly, Laura, and Brooke’s estranged friend, Michelle). Growing up, my social circle tended to consist of the less attractive – the geeks, the nerds, the social outcasts. So, being surrounded by the cool, beautiful people was new for me, and exciting. So much toned, taut young flesh. Of course, I was not, nor am not now, their equal. Not even close. I’m their servant, their lackey, their toy. But that’s part of what makes the dynamic so exciting, so arousing. For me, certainly. But also for most of them, I believe (Brooke excepted; I am confident that there is a lot more depth to our relationship with each other, than to our relationships with all the others).
As I looked up at Kelly, these thoughts running through my head, I consoled myself that at least I wasn’t being subjugated, teased and tormented by physically repulsive people. Remembering Brooke’s advice to go with the flow, I tried to tell myself to be grateful for small favors.
“Hi, Professor Rollins!“, said Kelly, brightly.
“Hi, Kelly,” I sheepishly replied.
“Oh, come now, professor. We’re not in class now. I think the proper way to address me here is Miss Kelly, don’t you agree?”
“Yes, Miss Kelly, of course.”
“You may enter,” she said. Seeing Paul behind her, I remembered to shuffle on my knees into the apartment, bags in either hand.
Paul said, ”What time do you need to be home tonight, Rollins? Where are Luke and Brooke?”
“Thursday night they almost always go out, sir. If you recall, that’s why we picked Thursday evenings for me to…to come here. Luke is taking Brooke out to dinner tonight at a restaurant near his house. The earliest they’ll be home, I think, is around 10:30, unless they decide to spend the night at Luke’s. I’d like to be home by 10, just to be on the safe side, sir, if possible,” I replied.
Kelly said to Paul, “I like the ‘sirs.’ I see that you’ve been training him well.“
“You may leave at 10. That means we have you for 5 hours. Put the food away and then get dressed,” ordered Paul. Anna and Kelly’s boyfriend, Archer, were sitting on the couch in the living room.
“Wait a minute,” said Anna. “Did you bring your Ren fair costume this time?”
“Yes, Princess Anna.”
“‘Princess?’ I really like that. Call me ‘Princess,’ too,” Kelly said to me, giggling.
“Yes, Princess Kelly,” I replied.
Smiling with delight, Kelly asked Archer, “Do you wish him to address you as Prince Archer?”
Archer, who I later learned was Paul’s teammate on the college swimming team, said, “No, he can just call me ‘sir’.”
“You’re no fun,” said Kelly.
“Put on your Little Foot Page costume, professor,” said Anna.
“Hold on,” said Paul. “If he’s serving us dinner, shouldn’t he be dressed as a waitress? Or as a maid? What about the pink uniform Chrissy wears? That’s sort of a waitress maid hybrid,” Paul explained to Archer.
“Or what about the Hooters uniform?”, asked Archer.
“But the Little Foot Page uniform is so cute!”, said Kelly.
Anna said, “Well, everybody seems to have an opinion. The only way to settle this democratically is through a vote. Let’s all write down our top choice on a scrap of paper and toss it into my baseball cap. There are three options and four votes, so there will be a clear winner.”
“I think he should model each uniform first, so we can make an informed decision,” said Archer.
“Great idea, Archer! Who doesn’t love a little, impromptu fashion show? Kelly, please tear up four pieces of paper and get a pen while I show our dear professor where we keep Chrissy’s uniforms,” said Anna.
I listened to this rather extraordinary conversation while still kneeling in the entrance hall. I had managed to will my erection down, at least partially, so had escaped detection for the moment. Obviously, this was only a temporary victory, however.
After being permitted to stand, I first put away the food and then followed Anna upstairs into the dungeon. She opened a closet and pulled out two plastic bags that she draped over the spanking bench.
“Here are the other two uniforms you will model for us. I want you to start with the waitress uniform. Make sure you wear the black stockings and the heels with the dress. And the cap. There are hairpins in the bag you can use to make sure that it doesn’t fall off your head. Once you’re dressed, we’ll be waiting for you in the living room. I expect you to walk the length of the living room, stand before us, curtsy, do a slow 360, face us again and curtsy a second time. Then walk back up here, put on the Hooter’s uniform, and repeat the same steps. Remember to put on the flesh colored pantyhose; they’re what really make the Hooters uniform, don’t you think?”
I had never darkened the doors of a Hooters before, but nodded my ascent.
“Well, the pantyhose along with the white socks and sneakers. You didn’t bring those, did you?”
“No, princess. Besides the shoes I’m wearing, I only brought the canvas shoes I wore to the Ren fair. As you commanded, princess.”
“All the more reason the Hooters uniform just won’t cut it tonight. But we have to humor Archer, don’t we? So, wear your canvas shoes with it. You’ll look preposterous, but that’s the point, I suppose. Right?”
“Yes, princess.”
“You’ll finish with your Little Foot Page uniform. The same steps. That’s my top choice, so make sure that you really sell that one. I’ll be watching closely. If you fail to do any of the steps I just told you, or don’t do any of them satisfactorily, I’ll ask Paul and/or Archer to take you over their knees and spank you, hard, 10 times for each mistake. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Princess Anna.”
She left me in the dungeon to change. Paul’s description of the first uniform was accurate. Imagine a pink maid’s uniform, with a V-neck, black collar, black buttons and a black apron. It came with a matching cap, pink with black trim. After putting on the dress, I rolled the sheer, black stockings up my legs and smoothed out the skirt, my fully erect cock still concealed for the time being beneath it. The short skirt only came down to my mid thigh. I then put on the heels and the cap, fumbling with the hairpins, and regarded myself in the mirror. I was dressed like a fetishized waitress in a retro diner. Could I look any more ridiculous? As I practiced curtsying a few times in front of the mirror, I answered my own rhetorical question.
Worried about keeping my students and Archer waiting, I descended the stairs and followed Anna’s instructions, listening to the strange sound of my heels clicking on the hardwood floor of the living room.
As I curtsied before the four of them relaxing on the couch, Kelly giggled with glee and Paul said, “Now that’s an appropriate uniform for dinner service.”
“It is, yes, but we see Chrissy in it all the time. A little variety is nice,” Anna replied.
As I went through my steps, I watched Anna hold the same little book they had used to record my shortcomings in cleaning – my demerits as they called them – and make notes in it with a pen. That couldn’t be a good thing, I thought to myself, although I was quite certain that I was following her instructions to a T.
After I did my 360° turn, I did a brief second curtsy, as Anna had ordered, but she stopped me as I was turning around to go back upstairs.
“Wait, professor maid. Curtsy to us again, but this time make it a deep curtsy. I want to make sure that you’ve been practicing.“
I did as she commanded, bending my legs, one behind the other, lifting my skirt with my hands and holding the dipped, bowed position for a few seconds before straightening back up.
“What do you think?”, Anna asked Kelly.
“Not too bad for a relative novice, I suppose, although his technique could definitely use some work,” said Kelly.
“Do you hear that, professor maid? You need to spend a lot more time practicing your curtsying. Also, you’re walking in the heels better than on Tuesday, but you’re still pretty unsteady. We expect our servants to be graceful,” said Anna, imperiously, as she made additional notations in her little notebook. “You need to practice walking in heels somewhere besides your time here with us. We do not tolerate on-the-job training here. Got it?”
“Yes, Princess Anna. I understand.”
“Good. Move along now. We need to decide on your uniform so you can start serving us cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.”
I hurried back upstairs as quickly and gracefully as was within my power and changed into the Hooters uniform. I put on the nude pantyhose first, my cock distressingly hard beneath the transparent nylon. So much for further concealing my liberation from chastity! Freedom can be a dangerous thing, I was to soon learn. I next put on the U-shaped, white T-shirt with the big orange letters, the two ‘Os’ doubling as eyes for the owl. The shirt was tight against even my flat chest; I could only imagine what it must’ve felt like to the well endowed women for whom the shirt was designed. Next, I pulled up the skimpy, bright orange shorts, hoping like hell that they might hide my erection. They did quite the opposite, in fact. Made of some synthetic fabric, they were incredibly snug and almost looked like a bikini the way they rode up the side of my legs next to my crotch. The shorts hugged my small balls, the outline of which was readily apparent through the fabric, my cock making a small, but unmistakable protrusion above them. As humiliating as the waitress uniform was, this was worse, I felt. I groaned as I observed myself in the mirror. I then put on my canvas shoes and descended the stairs to begin another degrading catwalk.
Archer laughed and clapped. “Thats fucking hilarious. Look at the loser!”
“Ha ha, look our professor has a little stiffie,” said Kelly, pointing at my crotch and snickering.
Anna said, “Oh, my God. Paul. She’s right. Look! They must’ve taken off his chastity cage.”
Paul said, “Well, this opens up all kinds of new possibilities, doesn’t it?”
“It most certainly does!”, agreed Anna.
This conversation, so intensely humiliating, resulted in my already hard cock twitching beneath the tight orange shorts, growing harder still.
Kelly said, “But he doesn’t have any boobs. What kind of Hooters waitress is that? At least Chrissy is growing boobs, thanks to the hormones.”
As I was curtsying, Paul asked, “What happened to Chrissy’s breast forms?”
Anna answered, “We let her throw them out after she started growing her own tits.“
“Too bad,” Archer replied.
Anna added, “And the whole outfit just doesn’t work without the white tennis shoes and socks. Also, our Hooters girl forgot to do her second curtsy.” As I turned back around to comply, Anna added, “No, no professor pantywaist, it’s too late now. That’s another demerit, I’m afraid. Now hurry along and model your last outfit for us.”
I scampered up the stairs and quickly changed into my Little Foot Page costume from the Ren fair, the one inspired by the Eleanor Fortescue-Brickdale’s painting, a favorite of Brooke’s. How I wished at that moment that it was her I was dressing for instead! The short, nearly transparent jacket barely concealed my cock, jutting out shamefully through my white tights.
Remembering Anna’s insistence that I really “sell” this outfit, I took special care to complete each step to the best of my abilities. I held my back straight and practically pranced into the room and across the living room floor. I held my curtsy longer than usual, somewhere between the duration of a regular curtsy and a deep curtsy.
Both of the girls applauded, gleefully.
“See. The foot page costume is adorable. And it’s unique,” said Kelly.
“But pages don’t serve dinner. Pages do all kinds of other things for their masters, like clean their clothes and shoes, help them get dressed, deliver messages, and so forth,” said Paul.
“Oh you’re such a stickler for authenticity. I’m sure plenty of pages served their masters and mistresses meals as well. They were utility servants, and I’m sure did whatever was required of them,“ said Anna. “Besides, with this uniform, we have the best view of his hard, little cock. Look, it’s fun size!“, she added, pointing.
“With equipment like that, it’s no wonder that his wife cuckolded him,” chuckled Archer.
“From the look of him and his attitude, I’ll bet Luke is hung like a horse. Is that true, professor baby cock?”, asked Anna.
“Yes, Princess Anna,” I answered meekly.
“Look how red his face is!,” said Kelly. “We’re not embarrassing you, are we, professor?”
“Yes…I mean no, Miss…I mean Princess Kelly.”
“Okay, it’s time to vote,” said Anna.
“Why bother. We all know which one will win. Archer will vote for Hooters, I will vote for sissy waitress, and you and Kelly will vote for this silly page costume, inappropriate as it may be,” said Paul, sulkily. “So, the foot page it is.”
“Oh, goody!”, said Kelly, clapping her hands together with delight.
“Time for cocktails! Take everyone’s order,” Paul said to me sternly, seemingly still annoyed that he didn’t get his way.
Paul and Anna had a well equipped bar, so making the drinks was relatively easy. Anna insisted that I curtsy after serving each person. I, of course, would’ve felt ridiculous curtsying under any circumstances, but felt particularly so dressed in my page costume. Paul had a point; there was something incongruous about it. After serving them, I began prepping for dinner in what was truly a chef’s kitchen. The meat needed to simmer for a while to be sufficiently tender.
Anna had shown me a little brass bell that they would use to summon me for drink refills or anything else they desired. I heard it jingling about 20 minutes into my prep work and hurried back into the living room.
Paul said, “Archer and I are ready for refills.”
“Yes, sir.”
“From now on, curtsy every time you enter or leave a room any of us are in, and every time any of us gives you an order,” Anna interjected.
“Yes, princess,” I said, curtsying as I took their glasses.
By the time I returned a few minutes later with Paul’s and Archer’s fresh old fashioneds, curtsying again, Anna was also ready to for new martini. Of course, by the time I returned with her martini, Kelly was finally ready for her second cosmopolitan. Would this ever end?, I wondered. How would I ever have time to prepare the rest of dinner?
Fortunately, rather than request a third old-fashioned Paul said to the others, “Let’s go for a swim.” I was back in the kitchen working when the four of them left the apartment to take the elevator down to the building’s large indoor pool. Things got more interesting about an hour later when my young superiors returned to the apartment in their bathing suits.

I see so much complaining on this sub, I get it. EA does a lot of dumb stuff but this year has been the best year I’ve played for FTP and I’ve really enjoyed the game, the one thing that did bother me was total control but we learned how to defend that stupid Michigan pretty fast. Do you guys not enjoy playing the game? Like I play because I enjoy the gameplay.. it seems like the only thing you guys care about it having the best team the easiest way possible. If you don’t like playing the game then you guys probably just shouldn’t? If this game causes you stress just put down the controller bro, go outside and go for a walk. I know this won’t change anything but like boys… it’s not that deep.

Something happened the other day and ive already talked about it a lot with friends but it stays on my mind so id like to see what people with more life experience have to say about it
First things first, i (26F) am autistic, i can hide it quite well (i think) but i often struggle with social stuff, so it is very well possible ive given green signs when i didnt realise I also have never had a relationship and zero experience with romance or crushes
So, now for what happened, the other day, i met up with a guy (24M) after chatting online for a while, he wanted to pay for everything but since im a Dutch girl in Japan and he is a Japanese guy, i thought it might be cultural differences or something idk what i thought This was may 12th, and he found out my bday was 2 days away, so he asked if i had anything to do, i said no and he in response asked if i wanted to celebrate with him. And sure, why not, i didnt have anything to do and i had a lot of fun hanging out with him So may 14th we go to dinner and all goes well, it was fun and he finds out i am moving next week, so he suggested to help. I told him many times id appreciate it but only if he wanted to and i didnt wanna pressure him or anything, but he helped. The move was may 20th, and this time i nade sure to pay for dinner, as a thank you for helping me move During this dinner he found out i had never done karaoke, so he convinced me to go with him This was later that week, i think the 23rd I am way to shy for karaoke but we had fun, towards the end he grabbed my hands and noticed a new ring i bought, he wrapped his arm around me and swayed back and forth a bit and in my autistic mind this was all part of karaoke, idk he did chose love songs, but i thought cuz he thought we would both know them Then out of nowhere he kissed me on the cheek, it took me a moment to process and in this moment he wants to actually kiss me, he caught me completely off guard and i pulled away making things SUPER awkward But he recovered fast and on our way to the subway everything was basically normal
Ive been wanting to talk to him about it since, to tell him i am autistic and what that means for me and possibly for him, so he can make his choice if he still likes me, but he has cancelled for being sick twice now, he does still say he really wants to meet me but idk Maybe i am over thinking this and he is actually sick, or maybe i did something wrong
I also have no idea how i feel, or what i am even supposed to feel, i have never liked anyone beyond platonically and even though it does make me happy whem he texts, so does when my bestie texts, so i have no idea I have never been in a relationship or even had feelings, to the point ive started to identify as asexual
So basically, i guess what im asking, did i do anything wrong since he cancelled twice now. And once i do get to talk to him, what do i say, i kinda have a general idea, but advice on this would be nice
TLDR: guy tried to kiss me and now im confused about everything, asking for advice on what to tell him

I am the aforementioned “professor” in a BORU post about me related to posts in subreddit. I decided to post a response after this event was brought up again with a mutual, Maria. We’re both hanging out as I type this. She and I have both hung out with “boyfriend” (Bob) in group settings and think there are definitely two sides to this story. My main gripe is being portrayed as a drunk and a man-stealer. Below is the original BORU post that I found while browsing one day. Also, someone did find me after reading this post due to how specific it is. I am responding pararaph by paragraph so you do not need to read the original post, feel free to.
The title in BORU is below as I cannot link other subreddits. (Was able to link, after the fact)

Do I (28F) need to worry about my boyfriend's (24M) friendship with his professor (25F)?

https://www.reddit.com/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/7mIcJp6t7n

My bf (24M) became friends with his former professor (25F), sometime last year - I don't know what to make of it. They seem to be friendly and talk consistently every week, and from what he tells me, it's usually very surface level. Sometime last year after the course ended, my bf, his professor, and some of his male classmates went somewhere to eat together. My bf brought up that he was going to be attending an event (plastic modeling show), and his professsor showed interest and invited herself to the event and asked if she could stay at his airbnb with his friends. My bf and his friends were all OK with it.

I was an instructor for one class/semester that BF (Bob) attended. I have no say or sway at the school and have not taught since then. I taught a class related to my profession. I did not get to know Bob personally until after the class was over. On the last day, he expressed that I was a great instructor and gave me a miniature he built as a show of gratitude. I also made miniatures (a different type though) and was intrigued that someone else was into this hobby. We stayed in touch. Later, I invited a few students for a meal (girls and guys) and the boy students were the only ones who RSVP’d yes. Bob did mention an event. I did not invite myself, I said me and my friend Linda were interested and may go too. Later on, Bob invited me to join their group’s airbnb because I was looking at hotels. A previous event trip fell through for my and Linda’s friend group and I felt bad she couldn’t go on a trip in the USA before she had to go back to her home country. This trip was to replace that experience. Bob invited us to the airbnb and Linda and I shared a room with 2 beds, Maria ended up coming on this trip as well, which the group was also okay with, and stayed in the same room with me and Linda

I unfortunately couldn't attend the event, but from what my bf told me, he and a few of his friends met up at their airbnb. That same day, his professor comes to my bf's airbnb and tagged a few of her girl friends along (I believe they all stayed in the same place). The next day, they go to the event, went to a bar afterwards and got drinks. A lot of them (except my bf) got pretty drunk and my bf took the liberty of being the designated driver for his professor and her friends. His professor won some model kit from the event, and even in her drunken state, asked my bf if he could stay up with her to work on the kit together. From what my bf tells me, nothing else happened that night.

Respectfully, I had one cocktail and then his friend bought everyone a shot. That was the extent of my drinking. I wasn’t drunk, Linda wasn’t drunk, and no one else in the group ended up being drunk., Maria was though. Maria underestimated how strong the drinks were and she was the DD and we did not have enough time to sober up once she felt the alcohol hit her. She couldn’t drive, I didn’t want to drive her dad’s car, and Linda doesn’t have a US driver's license. Bob offered to drive the car with me, Linda, and Maria back to the airbnb. The other car was driven back by his friend who was not drunk and drove sober. At the airbnb, Bob asked what i would do with the model kit I won, I said i am not familiar with this type of miniature and so I would sell it on facebook marketplace. He said it was actually easy to build, he had built that one before, and he could help me build it right then as all their tools for building were still out on the table. I said he didn’t have to but he insisted and I accepted his help. I was also still not drunk. Next to us in the living room, Maria and 2 of the guys were watching Ouran High Scool Host Club and Cowboy bebop. We all stayed up until 2AM building or watching anime. For half of the trip, me and the girls split off and did our own thing. We did not stay with the group the entire tip because our intent was to piggy back a small girls weekend while also seeing the event.

After the event, everyone from that group created a group chat and they continue to plan and talk about future events together. Since then, my bf and his friends had met up with his professor and got to meet his professor's fiance at an anime convention and it sounded like they all got along well. His professor continues to express interest in other events and it sounds like she may be attending another event with my bf and his friends in the near future.
I trust my boyfriend and don't think he is hiding anything from me. Honestly speaking, I think it's hard for me to understand their friendship as it is his professor. I've had a conversation with him on this, and he's let me know that I have nothing to worry about. I would like to hear other's opinions and see what ya'll think of this friendship? Is this something I need to be concerned about or is it really nothing?
Thank you all!
\Edit: the professor was my bf's former professor. She is classified as an adjunct faculty and works as an accountant as her full time job (which explains why she is a young professor).*
\My bf has not graduated college yet and is still a student at his university.*

Bob and his group went to an anime convention. I and my friend group also went because I was not aware there was one near me until Bob mentioned it. My friend group, I thought, got along well with his friends and it was a great first con experience. I and a few of my friends expressed interest in future events. I think she is hung up on this professor titleship but I was an instructor whom students called professor but I was very clear this was a side gig and I was had a career. I was never in any position of power at the school, I was a contract employee used to fill an open course section at an undesirable time. For the majority of the time I knew Bob, we were equals who were only 1 year apart in age and shared a similar hobby.

Relevant Comments:
You should go to one of the events with him:
"I do struggle with social anxiety so it makes me uncomfortable to be sharing a space with a lot of unknown people. I am hoping to go to the next event though since it's local."
Her relationship with students is grossly unprofessional:
"I'm totally with you - I am also quite confused of her choice of "friends". I am not sure why of all places, does she choose to share an airbnb with her former student and to be drunk with them. She is classified as an adjunct faculty, so she is a professor but is part time (she works full time as an accountant). The whole situation feels weird to me."
Clarification:
Commenter: You say “his professor” what is their specific academic connection? She taught him once years ago and now they’re roughly equals and friends? Or she’s his primary support for a PhD? Or what?
OOP: The first option - she taught him last year and now are now friends. He is no longer in a course with her. I totally understand how it's possible for students and their professors to be friendly, but i've never heard or seen of a friendship where you consistently talk and hang out together so casually.
So she's no longer his professor- they are two adults of the same age and power level:
"It kind of gives me the same vibes like if a student graduated HS and is friends with their young teacher (obv not the same thing, but a student-teacher relationship is there). I think as a teacher, you should still uphold that level of professionalism and mentorship, even if you are no longer the student's teacher.
I also want to note that they are technically not "equals" since they're both in relationships. She can't be acting however she wants with former students."

I respect that they view my actions unprofessionally. I did not view it as such since I was no longer an instructor and have not been since. I taught a 4 month course one day a week. I would not be friends with an 18-22 year old I had nothing in common with.

Update: my boyfriend and I had a more heart-to-heart talk regarding his teacher and he recognizes that it crossed some of my boundaries. He believes that she may be behaving the way she does because when she hangs out with her fiance's friends, she gets bored with them (and may possibly be seeking attention from other people?). Several weeks later, my boyfriend had a conversation with his college instructor regarding their friendship and told her how I didn't feel comfortable of their friendship and how he thinks they should keep communication at a minimum. She brought up how she understands because her fiance also had an issue with how she chose to share an airbnb with my bf. She mentions to my boyfriend that she sees him as a brother and that's why she feels really comfortable with him, but that she will try to respect my boyfriend's wishes of keeping conversations at a minimum.

I did not know it had crossed any of their boundaries at the time until the phone call. I treated Bob the same way I treated all of my friends but I do understand and respect that not everyone has the same view of friendship. My friend group went through a period where we would talk about going to stuff and then no one does any work to follow through. The event Linda and our friends were going to attend that never happened is a good example. I didn’t want lazy friends being the reason why I did not experience things. Bob did follow through on going to things. My husband’s concern was that it was a group of guys we had not met yet in person and we were all girls. I told him that if I thought any one of them was giving off weird vibes, we would immediately leave and get a hotel. As for the phone call, he did call to tell me basically the same and my understanding was that we should talk less because she does not like the closeness. At the time, we were messaging every day and I did make an attempt to reduce the frequency to once a week.

Well, even after that talk, she continues to still message my boyfriend weekly on random life updates. And because she is also part of my bf's chat in discord, one of his friends invited her to attend another plastic modeling show (it occurred recently) and dinner. Since she accepted the invitations, I chose to attend as well so that I could personally meet her. The dinner occurred first and it was very uncomfortable because she practically ignored me the entire night. When she joined us at the table, she greeted my bf but didn't say anything to me (even my bf noticed and got annoyed, but then introduced us). She got increasingly drunk throughout the night and was saying random stuff about my bf to his friends like "he could've been the best student in my class but it's cause he missed some assignments" and "[bf's name] gave me a 5 star review on rate my professor!". She ended up not going to the show, but my bf had a chat with his guys and they told him that they want to respect my feelings too and make it a guys' night next time.
I would like to hear other's opinions and see if you also think she is acting suspicious?

One thing left out is that during the phone call between Bob and I, I asked Bob if his GF would want to ever talk to or get to know me, or all 3 of us hang out, and he said he asked her and she said she did not want to do that and she was uncomfortable at the thought of meeting me. I did stop messaging him frequently and only did so once a week to ask how his job search was going and to let him know the status of a big event in my life. I thought that was what was requested, less interaction, not no interaction. Maria and I went to this dinner because everyone from the airbnb trip was going to be there (Linda did not go). What is not mentioned is that Bob and the GF arrived 40 minutes into eating. I nodded in their direction when they came and said hey in their general direction, not specifically at Bob or her. I did not talk to either specifically because (1) GF does not like me and him talking and I was not about to directly talk to Bob in front of her (2) she said she did not want to talk to me or get to know me and never retracted that statement. I learned Bob and GF thought it was a slight against them that I only said hey to Bob but I didn’t direct it to anyone and I was trying to play it safe. Had I known she came to personally meet me, I would have tried to talk to her. After learning why she came, I was surprised she did not talk to me even though she came to meet me. As for the alcohol, except for them, since they arrived late, everyone had 2-3 drinks already because it was happy hour. Me and Maria made friends with the bartender who gave us discounted cocktails. I even bought a drink for GF so she could get the discount and then pay me back. It is true I said those jokes but I said them in jest and these were jokes already made previously. To be fair, she did not try to talk to me at all, nor did she try to talk to Maria. Later that week, Maria called me to catch up and mentioned the dinner. She commented that GF made no effort to get to know us and thought GF went to monitor him and me. In essence, she ignored me and Maria and Maria and I ignored her. I did not go to the show because I had a prior commitment.

Relevant Comment:
She wants to have sex with your boyfriend. She's crossing major boundaries. Has he stopped conversation with her?
"I wouldn't be surprised if that is her intention cause there's def some shady people out there. I agree, she is crossing some professional and personal boundaries, and I think it's quite unusual behavior for any teacher to act like that. Yes, he has stopped communicating with her. She was consistently messaging him until last week...so hopefully she got the memo.

As mentioned in her post, I did view Bob as a brother. He lived similar experiences to me but I felt like he was where I would have been had I not moved out from my parents when I did. I wanted to see him professionally thrive and accomplish his goals of getting a car and moving out as those were things I strived for but had already attained. As for the 5-6 times we met up, it was in group settings and he met all of my friends and my husband as well. This post, to me, makes it seem like I was always hanging on to Bob but there were many instances of me and my friends breaking off to do our own thing. My husband and Linda’s husband were both okay with us going to the airbnb at the time and later on met and got to know Bob too. Each time we met, if I drank, I had 2 drinks and one time I had 3. I am not sure how Bob told these events to his GF so it may just be lost in translation but the only person who ever got drunk at a meet up was Maria and it was once. I do not agree with her stating that I was constantly drunk for each meet up or always asking/inviting myself to things. He invited me to join his airbnb group (i asked if Linda and Maria could join me), I did ask to join his group for another event until my friend group arrived (which included my husband, Linda, and Maria), and his friend invited me to the group dinner (Maria attended). To this day, his GF has never said a word to me or Maria (she did not say hi, only waved to us), nor us her. When I offered to order and bring her cocktail from the bar, I believe Bob was the one who responded to my offer. I only found out about what she was thinking via this BORU post. Linda, Maria, and I haven’t talked to Bob since, this was a cathartic write with Maria as it is very jarring to randomly find a post about yourself and then also have someone find you from that post.