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ASMRScriptHaven

2019.06.28 01:40 TheLunaRose ASMRScriptHaven

A safe place for ASMR Scriptwriters to post their scripts and for ASMR Artists to find new content.
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2011.12.05 01:17 redglare Short Scary Stories - Bite-Sized Horror

We enjoy our horror short and sweet. 500 words or less.
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2024.05.28 00:44 Plastic-Guava-6941 Never let a human escape : One Shot Short Story

Never let a human escape : One Shot Short Story
Mike Samson jolted awake to a blinding light flooding his studio apartment. He shielded his eyes as crackling arcs of blue energy danced across his body, every nerve suddenly detonating in anguished fire. Paralysis gripped his muscles even as he tried to cry out.
Looming figures materialized amidst the electrical flare - grotesque bipedal reptilians with leering crimson eyes and taloned hands. Their lipless maws stretched wide, lolling forked tongues scenting the air as they surrounded Mike's prone form. Guttural alien words were hissed back and forth, the meaning opaque but dripping with malign intent.
Mike's world became a whirlwind of thrashing limbs and piercing shrieks as he was wrenched from the safety of his apartment. His fingernails raked futilely across floorboards until the reptilians pinned his flailing appendages, injecting him with an insidious inky ichor. Sedation flooded his mind in cloying chemical shockwaves, subsuming him into a lightless gulf of terrified delirium.
When consciousness sputtered back, he found himself entombed in a claustrophobic metal chamber. Tubes and cables snaked across his naked bruised body, adhering to his flesh with osculating mouthparts that pumped calibrated chemistries through his bloodstream. The chamber's curved walls throbbed with alien energies and holographic readouts scrawling reams of data in indecipherable xenolinguistics.
Mike retched in breathless cycles, his throat burning from acidic expulsions. Liquid terror coursed through his veins as unfathomable implications slowly crystallized. He'd been abducted...by aliens...for reasons his traumatized psyche refused to countenance. Test subject, lab rat, biological curiosity - none of those roles offered any shred of consolation as the chamber's atmosphere toxified with soporific aerosols and dragged him back into oblivion's void.

***********************************************************************
Has it been hours? Days? Weeks?
Mike drifted in and out of muddled consciousness, his bearings unmoored from any sense of time's passage. Periods of lucidity were fleeting islands amid an endless ocean of drugged delirium. The only constant was the steady throb of his heartbeat reminding him he still clung to life.
Alien machinery burred and chirped all around him in a maddening industrial symphony. Icy metal restraints bit into his wrists and ankles with every feeble twitch of struggle against their corrosive bite. Mike's throat was raw from bellowing until his voice gave out - hoarse howls of mutinous fury directed at his unseen jailors.
Visions flickered at the peripheries of his sedation-blurred mind. Arcane readouts and holographic displays bathing him in eldritch kaleidoscopic hues. Twisting shapes moving just outside his field of vision, forms that struck primordial chords of terror within his fraying psyche.
Where was he? What fresh abomination had he been submitted to by these...things? His memories were scorched ashes swirling in mental windstorms, cyclones of delirium peeling back each successive layer of reality until only the stark existential core remained - survive, escape, or die.
Each agonizing return to lucidity saw Mike renewing his struggles against the restraints with snarling desperation. He could feel his body's resistance to the sedatives gradually building, his flashes of cognizance persisting for longer intervals before the soporific tsunami dragged him back under.
He pulled at the bonds until his wrists ran with blood, snarling through clenched teeth as his muscles screamed in agony. Every iota of leverage was exploited, his frame bowing into a tortured arch as tendons and ligaments strained in rebellion against the metal's embrace.
Something had to give. He could feel the integrity of his bonds slowly compromising. A hairline fracture caulking, threads sheering apart with each explosive exertion. The acrid tang of his own sweat and desperation flooded Mike's nostrils, lending visceral momentum to his thrashings as sanity ebbed.
With a scream of cathartic ferocity, one strap's corroded links finally severed under his single-minded throes. An arm broke free, flailing wildly as it summited its shackled peak. Mike's roars achieved a galvanizing fervor as realization blossomed - his escape was now inevitable, even if it meant shredding every tendon and dislocating every bone.
He needed to escape. He needed to get back home.
The chamber reverberated with the wail of klaxons, their shrill cries cutting through the air like banshees unleashed. Warning lights pulsed in a frenzied dance, casting eerie shadows across the metallic walls.
They knew he was free.

***********************************************************************

The stench of burning insulation seared Mike's nostrils as he clawed his way free of the shattered alien wreckage. Jagged shards of metal sliced deep into his palms, warm blood streaming over his trembling fingers. He sucked in a ragged breath of toxins and smoke, instantly doubling over in a fit of rasping coughs that lasted until spots clouded his vision.
Disoriented, he dragged himself across a carpet of mangled bodies and severed limbs. The dead seemed to leer at him with glassy eyes, their jaws frozen in forever-screams of agony. He retched uncontrollably at the sight, vomiting up streams of sour bile until his abdomen clenched with painful spasms.
Get up! His mind screamed the command like a slaver's lash. Trembling, Mike rose to his feet, nearly collapsing again as his gaze fell upon the ruined wasteland surrounding him. The alien craft's hull had been torn asunder, scattering twisted wreckage across a desolate clearing. In the distance, a verdant alien jungle extended in every direction, its dense foliage seeming to pulse with threats undiscerned.
His first urges were to curl up and expire like the corpses at his feet. Let this nightmare claim him. Perhaps in oblivion's void he might find merciful respite. But a more primal drive recoiled within him - the ingrained human compulsion to persevere, no matter how hopeless or harrowing the circumstances.
Stumbling through the burning wreckage, Mike became a scavenger parsing through the leavings of carnage. A sharpened length of metal shearing became his first weapon, still streaked with the fluorescent blood of its alien former owner. Strips of insulation were wrapped around his lacerated palms as makeshift bandages.
Clutching the blade, he forged on into the unknown depths of the jungle, its shadows and stifling humidity seeming to swallow him whole as he ventured heedlessly forward with no clear destination. All that mattered was putting distance between himself and the haunting mass grave of the alien craft.
Days stretched into sole-lacerating weeks as Mike wandered the primordial arboreal maze, slowly surrendering vestiges of his former life with each agonizing step. The blood-sodden layers of his tattered clothing gradually fell away until he moved through the jungle's gloom entirely nude and feral. His fair skin was sunburnt and leathery, his once pampered hands transformed into gnarled claws.
While the sustenance of unfamiliar alien vegetation helped slake his thirst, hunger remained his constant goad and tormentor. He eyed the scurrying forms of reptilian creatures with the raptor focus of a starving animal until the will to survive eclipsed all human compunction.
Using his sharpened metal shard, he dissected and consumed his first kill like a ravening beast, slurping up morsels of glistening flesh and shredding hide with his bare teeth. The act was a sordid rebirth, irrevocably severing him from his former existence. With each hunt, each successful skirmish against the jungle's myriad lethal threats, he lost more of whatever lingering humanity still persisted.
When at last he encountered the giant bipedal alien hunters, Mike was all but unrecognizable. His filthy, emaciated form was caked in dried sweat, grime and ichors of past kills. His salt-encrusted hair hung in matted cords over eyes that no longer showed anything beyond the desperation of a starved predator.
Armed with an arsenal of bone spears and crude blades fashioned from discarded alien tech, he fell upon the hunting party with such ferocious savagery that they initially mistook him for a member of their own reptilian species. Bellowing wordless screeches of fury, Mike decapitated and eviscerated with the unreasoning violence of a rabid animal.
Only after painting his entire body in the vibrant ichor of his slaughtered adversaries did his primal frenzy begin to abate. He stood in the sanguine entrail-strewn aftermath like a feral pagan idol of warfare. Gone was any glimmer of the man he had once been before his ordeal. That identity was dead, replaced by a nameless, savage demigod whose only purpose was to endure.
As Mike submerged himself back into the jungle's leafy shadows, a mad bark of laughter escaped his cracked lips. He was no longer a prisoner to this world - the worlditself was now the shackled captive, unable to extinguish the indomitable spark of his will to survive. No depredation, anguish or madness could extinguish the raging furnace of his need to persevere at any cost.
He was the alpha and the omega of this blighted untamed hell. All else that cross his path would be subsumed by the remorseless riptide of his existence. Reason, mercy, and hope were antiquated relics he'd gladly use as tinder to stoke the inextinguishable bonfire of his will to endure unto forever. His metamorphosis was complete.

***********************************************************************
The air hung thick and fetid in the Cenmeri rainforest, a miasma of rot and desperation. Tchir's leathery nostrils flared as he scented his prey - the sweet, cloying musk of human fear. His massive tail lashed back and forth, crushing underbrush with each powerful swing. Wicked talons as long as daggers flexed, eager to rend flesh from bone.
Tchir signaled his hunting pack with a guttural hiss. Six hardened killers fanned out in formation, their bodies adorned with jagged scars and ritualistic markings. They moved with a predator's graceful menace through the gloom.
Up ahead, the mutilated remains of a previous team littered the jungle floor like obscene blossoms. Entrails painted the foliage in garish streaks of crimson. One corpse hung crucified from a tree trunk, its sightless eyes already being consumed by rapacious insects.
A low, bestial growl rumbled from Tchir's gaping maw. The human was close. He could taste its acrid stench of terror, Could hear its feeble heart hammering like a war drum. His obsidian claws dug into the loamy soil as he inhaled deeply, triangulating the fear pheromones saturating the air.
Without warning, bloody carnage erupted. One hunter pitched backwards, impaled by an impossibly long metal spike that seemed to appear from nowhere. Another's head detonated in a crimson mist as something unseen moved through the jungle with blurring speed. Tchir roared in fury, the sound shaking leaves from the canopy.
His packmates opened fire blindly into the vegetation, high-caliber rounds chewing through wood and pulping anything in their path. For a suspended moment, the forest held its breath, hunkering in dread anticipation.
Then it began anew - dismembered limbs and viscera raining from the treetops in a foul deluge. Tchir felt white-hot agony erupt across his back as he spun, jaws snapping at his invisible tormentor. A handful of razor-edged flechettes protruded from his armored hide, punched there by immense force.
One by one, the hunters fell, their anguished screams abruptly truncated. Only Tchir remained, crouched in the greasy mulch, stunned and alone. He snapped his head from side to side, searching in vain for any trace of the human.
Without warning, it was there - a blur of movement depositing itself atop Tchir's barrel chest, knees pinning his arms. The stench of its fear had transformed to a feral musk of hatred. Tchir snarled up at his attacker, hideously deformed jaws stretching wide in a futile attempt to disembowel the human.
It leaned in close, pupils glittering like polished obsidian. It smiled mirthlessly, lips pulling back to expose teeth augmented to keen points. In its hands it held a gleaming blade, its mirrored edge seeming to swallow all light.
The human's sardonic voice was a slithering whisper: "You should not have brought me here."
With a solitary, fluid motion, it drew the blade across Tchir's jugular. Boiling green ichor geysered from the gaping wound as the hunter's mighty body shuddered and fell still. The human rose, drenched in Tchir's lifeblood, yet seemed utterly apathetic to the horrific violence it had committed.
***********************************************************************
Vkralt hissed in frustration as the holographic tactical display flickered through the latest reconnaissance imagery. More of his kinsmen's corpses, strewn like butchered meat among the mangled wreckage of their insertion craft.
Around the dimly lit command pavilion, his fellow elders shifted in agitated silence, their armored tails lashing behind them. They knew the implications as well as Vkralt - another extraction team had been massacred by the human fugitive.
"This cannot continue," Vkralt finally growled, spiked tongue flicking out to taste the tension in the air. "That mammalian's vendetta has already claimed over fifty Karrthaz lives. We are hemorrhaging our finest warriors to equatorial folly."
"What choice remains to us?" One of the elders finally rasped. "We cannot allow such an abomination to range unfettered across the jungle, consumed by hatred and seeking indiscriminate vengeance."
"And we cannot solicit intervention from any of the greater civilized worlds," snapped another. "To do so admits we attempted sentient species ! We just short of confess we broke the intergalactic Rites of Observation."
"Perhaps..." a raspy voice joined the discourse, every head turning to regard the withered form of Kalrax the Ancient.
Eyes filmed with cataracts, the wizened elder nonetheless fixed the gathered throng with a stare that demanded deference. "Perhaps we have underestimated the magnitude of consequence should we fail to excise this human remnant."
Akralt lowered his head in solemn obeisance. "Enlighten us, Ancestor."
Kalrax worked his jaws slowly, every word feeling carved rather than spoken: "We have already borne witness to the damage one solitary human is capable of perpetrating. With only the basest tools and primordial wrath as weapons. Now ponder...what if this human is allowed to escape and interface with its terrestrial hive-kin? What if a unified human force, augmented by their burgeoning technologies, took offense at our violations and sought unconditional retaliation?"
A horrified susurrus passed through the assembled Karrthaz as the implications reverberated. Raising a single gnarled talon, Kalrax silenced them and continued in a voice gone deathly quiet:
"If a lone, nameless terrestrial is capable of such devastation...what horrors would befall the Karrthaz lineage should we face the combined wrath of its entire planet? We Risk Extinction..."
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I dub this StoryBait.
If you liked this one shot and want a more complete story then try my Amazon Novel. Available on Kindle Unlimited You can also access Exclusive one shots and my entire ongoing novel series on Patreon
If you have a one shot story Idea you want me write, let me know and I will try my best!
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2024.05.17 21:52 Consistent_Pea_1374 Found the source of the leak

(Sorry for typos or grammatical errors I’m on my phone and it’s a ton of info to edit.)
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef.
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef. I believe that Al B. Sure! was planing to release all the info he had on Diddy in 2022, but may have been poisoned beforehand similar to theories about Diddys’s ex wife Kim Porter who was originally married to Kim before Diddy stole her away along with Al’s son, also Diddy’s stepson Quincy. Diddy has also been directly tied to the murders or mysterious deaths of at least a half a dozen more people who were close associates from the beginning of his career and were key players in the formation of Bad Boy. Coincidentally many of the victims had either exposed or were threatening to expose evidence related to all of these crimes. They are also using Keefe D. to take the charge for 2Pacs murder so he can spin the story and leave out and ties to Diddy who ordered the hit or did it himself.
Unfortunately for Diddy, unlike the rest of the people he had successfully silenced in the past, Al ended up coming out of his coma and revealing all the info he had on Diddy, including that he was responsible for him falling into a coma. After he came out of the coma Diddy knew he was about to go down and before the raid he destroyed and staged all of his homes with evidence that would verify all the claims related to other celebrities over the age of 18. Meanwhile he got rid of all the videos involving murder, sa, child abuse, bestiality and other evidence that would bring major charges. This is so he can cooperate with the Feds and help reduce his sentence. If he hid all the evidence they would know and work overtime to find it. Instead he lied by omission and corroborated the accusations that won’t completely destroy him. He can then release all his dirt to seem like he made all the blackmail with the intention of bringing down known predators who were able to get away with the same things he’s guilty of.
In the video of Diddy in the wig, he talks about partying with Drake and The Weekend and I believe he was able to acquire the blackmail. He then released the blackmail to selected people to ensure they leak at the appropriate time. The plan is to publicly out Drake for sex crimes so the rest of Hollywood knows not to testify against him. During the auction mentioned by ebony prince they are going to auction off all the dirt Diddy has collected the last 30 years. This includes dirt on Trump, which may be the reason behind all of this. The auction is four days after Election Day and will be used as a fail safe in case Trump wins the election.
I’m trying my best to add everything, just struggling because I have like 30 pages worth of write ups. If you want more evidence I have a ton, on my other account, I don’t want to spam so just dm me if you want additional evidence. The full post above is multiple pages long so I just chose the important part because very few people on here have the attention span for it.
You don’t have to believe it, it’s just my personal opinions, but they are based on facts and about 80 hours of research.
https://www.reddit.comRationalSchizo812020/s/IsgRSkK8KM
Check out the post covering Diddy, Drake, Kendrick, and Kanye
Two articles about modern sex cults still in operation: https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/sep/28/new-york-satanic-cult-764-fbi
https://www.complex.com/life/a/brad-callas/accused-cult-leader-nature-boy-sentenced-to-life
Yesterday I found Ye’s full interview with The Download from before the beef blew up. It discusses a lot of my connections and hints that Ye is partially involved. You can skip to around 13 minutes in.
(Recently the charges against Lucian Grange were dropped showing he most likely is working behind the scenes as well and has some influence. He may be related to the leak as well. He could have also been the one who supplied the blackmail. Another alternative is Diddy went to the feds on his own accord, but when multiple lawsuits pop up very quickly, especially after thirty years of avoiding charges related to tons of sketchy shit, it usually means there is some type of coordination. Look at TI and his wife’s allegations and what lead up to those events.)
Full post:
This is all speculation so please don’t victim blame or spread conspiracies about a possible survivor of C.S abuse. This is why many don’t come forward. All I’m trying to do is point out the large amount of details surrounding the rumor that stand out as odd to me. By no means does this dismiss his claims. I’m not a lawyer, but if he was suing my client, this is some of the evidence I would use in the case.
Before I start I need to put in a small disclaimer. **The subjects I covered in my essay are well known to be linked to conspiracy theory communities that have been equated to terrorist groups. The end goal of a lot of these communities is to promote political divide, antisemetism, homophobia, and violence. I think the ultimate goal is to create such a massive gap between the left and right that the two party system fails and we fall into anarchy allowing the people who really pull the strings to restructure and in order to retain their power. It’s already evident that Biden isn’t able to do nearly as much as he could do if he didn’t have to consider the opposing party’s majority vote as well. Whoever wins I feel the results will be the same, violent protests aiming to reverse the vote. If this is achieved it will be the death of democracy in America.
I highly encourage anyone who identifies with either political party and are attracted to controversial subjects or consider themselves to be contrarian to please look out for any conspiracies that seem to be targeted towards you or the community you’re a part of. If they share similar ideas to the findings I made in my research, please do not engage.
I’ve watched the conception and the eventual downfalls off the P-gate and Q conspiracy communities. It didn’t take me long to figure out the eventual end game and step back from the community while continuing independent research. If you’re letting someone else to the research for you, you really need to be sure to trust the source and be aware of possible ulterior motives. It’s really dangerous territory though, filled with hidden traps that can draw you in and send you so deep that you either end up going into psychosis from the stress and paranoid, or you do what I did and step back for the sake of your mental health. I hate even sharing things like this because I know it may not have the effect I intended, but on the other hand people who are new to these subjects and conspiracies really, really need to take them seriously. They are not just games on the internet and there is a reason members of these communities have to hide in the shadows and lure people into their dark corners. There is also reason why they target the groups they do and I’ve noted a huge effort to indoctrinate people in rap community, the content creator community, and the celebrity gossip communities. I’ll let you guys draw your own conclusions as to why this is. I assume if you read this far you’re not dumb.
Once you’re stuck in their web it’s very difficult for most people to find their way back to society without seeing examples everywhere. I hope this is able to at least help one person who might be teetering on the edge of these rabbit holes. It’s not worth it and if I wasn’t sober and taking my meds, Id probably end up having a psychotic break. If you feel like you may be approaching that point you can still quit while you’re ahead.
Here are just a few of the things you can do to keep yourself from spiraling.
Take a step back for a while and focus on other things. Taking a hiatus from social media is crucial. If you can’t control yourself maybe detach from the news and internet entirely for a couple days. Even a long weekend can make a MASSIVE difference.
Try to get a good nights sleep and consider taking melatonin or an over the counter sleep aid.
Spend some time with friends or loved ones.
Eat some good, somewhat healthy, food and stay hydrated.
Try to get some sun and consider taking a walk or doing some other form of exercise.
Volunteer or do something to help your community if you want to continue working to benefit society.
Try to read a book or spend some time doing your favorite hobbies that aren’t related to any of the subjects I discuss below. Without further ado…
Ties Between Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and Violent Antigovernment Conspiracies
I recently saw an article about Bryshere Gray, a rappeactor best known for his role in Empire. He was born in Philadelphia and started rapping at 16. His manager Craig Mack, who facilitated his big break by getting him a role on the TV series Empire, is life long friends with Will Smith. Currently there are conflicting claims about whether he is currently suing or planning to sue Will Smith and P. Diddy for s. abusing him as a minor. It’s rumored he is trying to get 50 million dollars in damages. That number alone seems suspicious to me. That’s 20 million more than Cassie got and she dated and lived with Diddy for over a decade.
One of the other things I noticed off the jump was the fact that the only sources regarding the case were on social media along with one article on MSN, which is known for being a nest of clickbait journalism. Essentially they are the written version of gossip videos made by content creators. The only evidence I could find in these videos were a few short clips from his socials where is talking about the negative sides of fame and a clip of him on the red carpet with Will Smith. This might hint towards suppression, but I’m leaning toward this whole story being bullshit.
The only connection I found between him and Diddy is a song he did with 2 Chainz and Fabolous, the latter being signed to Bad Boy. He ended up getting signed to Columbia which falls under the Sony Music Entertainment while Bad Boy is under UMG. Considering these rumors came about a while back he hasn’t mentioned it at all as far as I know. Some might argue this could be a product of friction between labels or that he included Diddy because everyone knows he’s going down. On the other hand if he is a victims he may not have wanted his story told and doesn’t want to stoke the rumors by responding whether they’re true or not.
One of the biggest things that led me to question the validity of the claims is the fact that 90 percent of the sources I found were using a three minute clip from an interview with one of the top content creators on YouTube, I’ll call her J. At this point I’m 99 percent sure J is an opp, whether she knows it or not. She told his story in vivid detail accusing Will and Jada of luring young artists with promises of mentorship, then involving them in their bedroom activities.
It’s not really a stretch to think that Will might have a cuckold fetish and probably swings both ways. Two things that could ruin you in the 90’s, but neither or them could do more damage to their careers then they have already done by airing out intimate details of their relationship to the public. However the allegations involving minors are complete heresay. This leads me to believe these are just rumors from the 90’s updated to include modern conspiracy theories. J clearly also clearly has some homophobic tendencies, but uses her bisexuality as a pass to bash on most black gay men and even straight men who she claims to be gay. It’s all too obvious she still holds onto resentment over her career never taking off while a lot of the people she collaborated with turned into megastars which is a huge motivator for her content. She clearly still lives in the nineties when these type of allegations alone could seriously damage your career.
In Bryshere’s case, regardless if any of the details she shared were true, they shouldn’t have been aired to the public by anyone but Gray himself. This isn’t the first time J has leaked recordings, exploited, or stolen from victims she claimed to be advocating for. She has even doxxed victims by starting a women’s group for sa survivors and recording all their meetings. She eventually leaked some, claiming they were trying sabotage the group. When the rest found out or were threatened themselves, the group was quickly dissolved and covered up. Considering her track record it’s not unlikely that if true, she released Gray’s story after trying to ask for a payoff and not receiving it. Considering their is no evidence they’ve even met, it’s more likely she’s just reporting on local rumors considering her and Gray are both from Philly and now both live in the Dallas. It’s very important to look at J’s history to see the bigger picture here.
My theory is J was given permission to share her story detailing the dark side of the industry and promised protection if she also included certain details that they provided to her. If true, the motive could have been to help her home channel gain credibility and attract a large viewer base so they can manipulate the message. I believe these people do know some shit about some people, and they want to get out ahead and make sure they only go after their rivals.
I followed J, an up and coming influencer, to examine to see if I noticed any obvious agendas and stumbled upon a full blown conspiracy. I use as an example started with very levelheaded claims that were easy to digest and over the course of five years this influence lured in their viewers with insider knowledge that turned out to be true and by the end was spouting rumors that are easily traceable to certain movements that have been tied to antisemetism, anti LBGTQ, and violent ideologies. It started slow with a few buzzwords and before you knew it the comment sections had been taken over. She started by luring in the celebrity gossip community, specifically people over the age of 40, who treat gossip blogs like the gospel. It’s obvious why this community has been chosen as a target, and I’ve seen recently to rap community is not much better. I imagine whoever is orchestrating this campaign probably wasn’t expecting it to be this easy.
We very well may be witnessing a controlled takedown and the purpose usually is to take out any liabilities while painting their innocence. If a lot of sick people get outed for terrible crimes most people will assume the Feds weeded out all the bad seeds. It would be a public win for the FEDs and would address any criticism aimed at them and those in the industry who have been facing pressure to deal with these types of issues for at least 3 decades. It will also assuage a lot of the conspiracy communities who have been trying to bring light to these issues. I definitely believe the people they chose to take the rap are going to take the charges for all their co conspirators, so those close to them don’t catch any charges. This would be very important in a R.I.C.O. case.
After they’ve completed their mission and their message has been delivered they will then allow these messengers to continue to capitalize on their channel’s popularity. This way they could still manipulate to spread whatever they choose whenever it’s deemed it to be necessary, It probably won’t work too many times before people catch on. In they want to continue making content they can force them to dig up their old dirt. They could also easily provide them with a list of names they are and aren’t allowed to talk about. My guess is they know that most of them aren’t going to be able to find anything, and since they picked people willing to to say any thing for money, they know they will continue to do it with or without relevant information.
They could also continue aiding her in an effort to further the spread disinformation as a preemptive measure. They may threaten harm or violence if the view counts dip below a certain amount to prevent the messenger from self sabotaging in case they need to get their message to the massesIf in the future. If they do ever need them again to do the same thing or are themselves being targetted, they can use their messengers to discredit the facts about them and shine light on those who are leveling the allegations.
You may be wondering what if the enemy finds them and pays them more to doublecross their handlers? They can then use their messenger’s mental illness and paint them and their viewers as violent or mentally ill members of a disinformation cult and either blackmail them into retracting their claims or label them and their listeners as a disinformation cult that happened to be right about some things. Mental health issues can also help paint the narrative that the messenger is suicidal so they can take her out easier if needed. In the case of J it’s not out of the realm of possibility considering her recent struggle and probably played a big part in choosing her to be their mouth piece. since they can use her mental illness at any time to discredit her or create plausible deniability if any connection is made between them and they need to go to court to prove the opposite.
She’s such a wildcard their is no way they would’ve recruited her if they didn’t have an iron clad manipulation tactic with multiple failsafes in place. Usually threatening to kill someones entire family works just fine, but she doesn’t seem to be too worried about her families safety. This is why I think it’s the big labels going after their own artists because they know they’re probably going to get busted soon. Also studios rarely sign you and give you a good deal if they don’t have some type of dirt in case the artist to keep them in line, and use them for their own personal gains. They can also keep them from going after the messenger and better ensure their safety. If they had her go after another label’s artists they probably wouldn’t be able to cover all the bases when it comes to protection, which with J is necessary since she never has any security detail and constantly doxxes herself and her family on live.
While going though her interviews it became very clear to me something was very fishy off the rip. It became obvious after watching sections from all four of her main interviews that as time went on she began incorporating more and more lies and more and more ridiculous conspiracies into the narrative. For most people as soon as they hear a blatant lie they immediately write off anything coming from the source. Most people don’t do their own research so if the messenger tells a couple little white lies with a dramatic flair they can get away with it for a while. The more lies though the higher the chance of them getting called out and losing a portion of their audience as well as making any truth information that can’t be verified sound sketchy.
As I’ve said before J first two interviews do have a lot of verifiable claims, juxtaposed with her life story, and a few blatant lies. One thing I noticed is the majority of her allegations are against artists from her hometown in Philadelphia who were breaking into the industry around the same time as she was and managed to make their way to the top of their respective industries. Sadly neither of J’s two albums were well received and she lost her opportunity because of her combative personality mixed with major narcissism.
After her music career didn’t pan out she moved to Dallas, Texas to try to rebrand. After her son was murdered in 2018, similar to her career, her mental health took appeared to take a nosedive. Before the first interview in 2020, apparently rumors were floating around she was living out of cars and motels. She then met her husband who was ex-military and it seemed like he really built her up and helped her, possibly even writing the stories. In that first interview she accused multiple artists of mistreatment as well as assault. It went semi-viral and a good portion of the accused either provided evidence to contradict her or said the don’t want to go into it, and they seemed to know the situation and feel bad for her. The rapper Common, who she claimed had abused her even said he hopes she’s ok and wished her well. A lot of her fans took this and twisted them into him being guilty because he didn’t go off on a rant trying to claim his innocence and shit on J like they were expecting.
I belief either before or after the first interview got some attention she was contacted and either paid or blackmailed into doing another interview where she was fed information, some truth some lies, and told to mix it in to her life story. I also think her husband may have been one of her handlers. My suspicions stem from the fact that he popped up not long before the first interview and married her after like 3 weeks. I also noticed his way of speaking was also was very similar to J’s and he’d even use similar vocal inflections and speech patterns. They also displayed a lot of similar quirks. Another coincide is he claimed he was responsible for most of the technical support and played a huge part in establishing her online presence. He claimed to have learned everything in a day, and apparently people were shocked at how quickly he learned how to code websites and manage her accounts. A few weeks after getting married she had already made him a fifty/fifty partner for the a new television network she was promoting around the time, but was designed to steal peoples money.
She returned for a second interview in December 2022 and during her second video she mentioned Diddy and dropped a lot of information regarding his current case, his connections to many celebrities, and many specific details about their lives only an insider would have access to. Still there wasn’t much evidence to verify a good portion of her claims until Cassie filed her lawsuit a couple weeks later. I’m almost positive whoever is trying to bring Diddy to justice is connected to whoever is giving her all this info. During the interview J once again eloquently details the dark side of the industry.
Unfortunately her second interview was overshadowed by two separate incidents that both occurred only a few days later and were also caught on her live stream. First she was arrested at a Chicago airport for losing her mind at the security checkpoint. Not much longer after that during an apparent psychotic break, she was filmed in a barbershop parking lot abusing her husband then taking her sons ashes and throwing them her husband and his friends while acting like she was literally possessed. In a later interview she claimed to have Dissociate Identity Disorder from all the trauma and admitted that it was the cause of her psychotic breaks, which totally applies if someone was severely abused at a young age like she has claimed is the case. Eventually she was restrained by the police, strapped down, and tied to a stretcher.
After she got out of a mental hospital a couple days later, her and her soon to ex-husband did a couple separate interviews followed by one where they both discussed to situation together. Before the joint interview their original stories did not line up at all. From their description of events it’s obvious she was cheating and he seems intelligent enough to that, but instead claims the now leader of the Carbon Nation sex cult we’ll call Sol. According to their story he hypnotized her the first time they met and manipulated her into joining her and her husband on their planned weekend roadtrip after meeting in person for the first time. He also forced her into saying she wanted to kill her husband multiple times and letting him touch all over her while they were all in the car together. After that she went on and shared a painfully detailed description of the abuse she suffered as a child all they up until she left the industry. Not much longer after that her husband filed for divorce, further contributing to the spiral.
About three months ago she did another interview that clearly was made by someone else and was loaded with editing mistakes and long gaps without sound that are so muffled you can barely hear them. She also obvious took clips of the interviewer from previous interviews and pasted them together to form new questions and edited them in between her responses. This is also where her claims were all either recycled or included the wildest pizzagate rumors. Then as always she included them in her personal anecdotes so people feel bad for questioning her. The last interview I saw came out less than a week ago and it was even worse than the last and it seems like she’s now just shitposting and seeing how much she can get away with and sadly as expected most people are still eating it up out of the palm of their hand. People who literally worship these influencers like Gods.
Sorry for the giant tangent, but it seems obvious to me that the husband and the two interviewers were all working together. He dressed her up, got her sober and kept her on her meds so she could deliver these interviews. At the same time she was the one who agreed to literally sell her soul and I believe she conscientiously made the decision to scam others. I think everything with Sol was either planned by the three of them or at least the two men who both appeared randomly and were obviously both manipulators. They used their, “divorce,” to really kick things into overdrive and then either both left her there jobs were done. In my humble opinion it’s more likely that they are all mentally ill, desperate for money, and playing roles that were assigned to them for a very specific purpose. I’m almost positive the whole marriage was a sham to help contribute to the narrative that everything in the first two videos was true, until she lost her mind because of the DID, PTSD, and stress.
The last thing I’ll mention before getting back to Bryshere Gray is how I found it interesting that she chose a DID diagnosis. Bipolar used to be a big one, but most people these days know at least one person with it, and it’s easier to tell when people are faking. DID and BPD are the trendy ones now because they aren’t as well understood and easier to fake or play up for the camera. The large numbers of people obviously faking their symptoms, based off the symptoms of some influencer who is also faking. This makes it very difficult to know what’s . It’s also commonly brought up in more radical conspiracy groups as being part of the satanic agenda or brainwash people. I think they were intentionally trying to attract people who would get anything related to the movement send to the deep corners of the internet where those types tend to hide.
This all leads me to the wildest connection of the story. In 2015, when Gray joined Columbia Records, he was signed alongside his future Empire costar Jussie Smollett who ended up playing his older brother. For those who don’t know or remember in 2019, Jussie Smollett was found guilty of staging a hate crime against himself somewhere around the 4th season of he show. The expensive investigation revealed the motivation was political after revealing Michellle Obama’s form chief of staff reached out to Smollett’s lawyer and requested the case be handed over to the FBI. His lawyer then forward the request to Chicago’s Superintendent who approved the request and the case was dropped. After a massive uproar, pitting democrats and republicans against each other, he was resentenced in December 2019 and to this day his legal defense team is still trying to drag out the case so the prosecutor just drops the charges and they don’t have to admit guilt. (If interested the Wikipedia article sums up the whole thing very well.)
Up until his arrest for domestic violence over three years ago where he was caught multiple times lying to the police in his interview, he was found guilty. Seemingly overnight his career tanked and he essentially disappeared and clearly seemed to be dealing with some mental health issues. I find it interesting that after four years of silence he’s just deciding to come out now, and if this case is real in the first place I wonder if anyone is going to draw all these connections.
Aside from Smollett and Gray, the cast list attached to the TV series Empire reveals a lot of connections to a lot of high powered figures with strange connections to this whole conspiracy. A good example of one of these connections is Terrence Howards’s character, a top record label president named Lucious. After skimming the first season’s plot points, some appeared to be directly based on attributes commonly associated with Diddy.
When I looked a little deeper I found that Howard, who also originates from Philadelphia, was cast as the lead actor on the show, while still finding the time to deliver his infamous guest lectures around the world. The main focus of the lectures was discussing the theory he hypothesized which he appropriately named, “Terryology.” This came after being blacklisted from the industry for nearly seven years prior for beating up a crew member and being convicted of multiple domestic violence charges. After the incident with the crew member in 2008, it was revealed Howard had been replaced by Don Cheadle in the sequel to his last hit movie, Iron Man.
Around the same time in 2008, he also signed a record deal with no other than Columbia Records. This came a few years before his infamous on screen sons joined a the same label years later. This can definitely be connected to Howard’s relationship with Gray’s manager Charlie Mack. Some other people who made guest appearances on the show include Naomi Campbell, Cassie, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Mary J. Blige.
The creator of the show Lee Daniel’s, the popular democratic activist whose connections go all the way up to the Obama’s, Oprah, and the Clintons. (Before I go any further, please don’t go down this rabbit hole much further, and to the people who use these type of stories to promote their agendas and spark even more political discord. Now more then ever we need to reel in both the far left and far right and meet as close to the middle as possible or else both candidates are going to continue to be worse every election. Please keep any comments politically neutral. I hate both candidates and I’m simply making connections and could care less who wins the upcoming election.
I think what we’re seeing now regarding Drake, Kendrick, Diddy, and people like Bryshere Gray and J and other influencers and content creators are all be used as weapons to distract people from something major going down and the fact that it’s only getting crazier every day, it appears whatever I’m referring to is yet to come, but won’t be long. Please keep all of this in mind before you start trying to research subjects like these. You may realize that some of the ideologies that have been chastised and tied to violence have been saying these types of things for years, and most of their evidence has been proven already or align with everything we’re seeing.
The paid protestors at Columbia is another example of political theater. Here is where people make the connection to Semetism and where most subscribers theories go off the fucking rails. Just because a lot of these things can be tied to Israel and Jewish Americans, a lot of people like to blame them for all the worlds problems, what they don’t realize is most of this stems from cultural traditions and generational wealth that was gained through hard work and promotion of high education. This has resulted in the majority of Jewish Americans holding more wealth than the average Christian household and most if this stems purely from jealousy and fucking Hitler. This is why the majority of people who go all in on these types of theories don’t have any further education than a high school diploma.
I know this doesn’t make them all dumb, but even a lot of very intelligent people like Ye and other major public figures got sucked into these communities without realizing they were part of the same agenda they were trying to expose. That’s how you end up with Ye saying he loves Hitler in a public interview and promoting Trump for president and supporting the fucking, “white lives matter,” movement along with the Candace Owen, the republicans answer to AOC. Even people with more formal education and fewer biases can and have been successfully targeted by these communities. It’s been shown time and time again that many of these recruiters who have been in their respective communities since their inception usually end up end reaching the same conclusions and the more people there are to confirm your beliefs or suspicions, the more likely it is you’ll accept everything else in they say as true. (This is a very similar conclusion the one I reached in my essay about J).
My belief is someone from the same circle that J was in during her singing career are the same people who reached out to Katt Williams and other blacklisted artists with long recorded histories of mental illness and substance abuse problems to lie by omission and allowing them to release preselected pieces of evidence without repercussions. They could easily know what information the Feds were able to acquire. They then had her leak those details to the public so when the details to come out it makes she can work with the Feds and dismiss any other allegations even if they are true. Obviously it won’t determine the outcome, but it can definitely go a long way in making sure certain details of the defendant choosing can be struck from the record if the evidence isn’t good enough.
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef. I believe that Al B. Sure! was planing to release all the info he had on Diddy in 2022, but may have been poisoned beforehand similar to theories about Diddys’s ex wife Kim Porter who was originally married to Kim before Diddy stole her away along with Al’s son, also Diddy’s stepson Quincy. Diddy has also been directly tied to the murders or mysterious deaths of at least a half a dozen more people who were close associates from the beginning of his career and were key players in the formation of Bad Boy. Coincidentally many of the victims had either exposed or were threatening to expose evidence related to all of these crimes. They are also using Keefe D. to take the charge for 2Pacs murder so he can spin the story and leave out and ties to Diddy who ordered the hit or did it himself.
Unfortunately for Diddy, unlike the rest of the people he had successfully silenced in the past, his dirt ended up coming out right around when Al ended up coming out of his coma and I think it’s likely that if my theory is correct he released all the info he had on Diddy. He even may have hinted in an interview at him being responsible for him falling into a coma. After he came out of the coma Diddy knew he was about to go down and before the raid he destroyed and staged all of his homes with evidence that would verify all the claims related to other celebrities over the age of 18. Meanwhile he got rid of all the videos involving murder, sa, child abuse, bestiality and other evidence that would bring major charges.
This is so he can cooperate with the Feds and help reduce his sentence. If he hid all the evidence they would know and work overtime to find it. Instead he lied by omission and corroborated the accusations that won’t completely destroy him. He can then release all his dirt to seem like he made all the blackmail with the intention of bringing down known predators who were able to get away with the same things he’s guilty of.
In the video of Diddy in the wig, he talks about partying with Drake and The Weekend and I believe he was able to acquire the blackmail. He then released the blackmail to selected people to ensure they leak at the appropriate time. The plan is to publicly out Drake for sex crimes so the rest of Hollywood knows not to testify against him. During the auction mentioned by ebony prince they are going to auction off all the dirt Diddy has collected the last 30 years. This includes dirt on Trump, which may be the reason behind all of this. The auction is four days after Election Day and will be used as a fail safe in case Trump wins the election.
When people who already have even the slightest political biases and less formal education, it can be very difficult to look at these things and not choose a side. This is their agenda to promote centrism and split the left and right even further to promote chaos and anarchy. I advise anyone who identifies as democrat or republican to be extremely cautious when exploring these topics and watch out for the type of things I mentioned. If the information is specifically pointed towards whichever party you identify with, they are trying to suck you in and fill your head with their beliefs.
*Update 2- I’ve never seen this amount of negative responses on any of the bullshit reposts and memes. Clearly people don’t want to actually think for themselves and are just trying to shut down any theory that contradicts their own. Y’all need to stop trying to disprove shit that actually promotes alternative ideas. This is exactly why this community was created. You don’t have to agree with everything, but if you see anything of interest you can do some more research if you’re interested if not just move on and mind your business. Either read it if you’re interested and do your own research or move along and mind your own business.
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2024.05.15 17:10 Chen_Geller Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth

Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth
I still sit sometimes and chuckle, thinking "When Ralph Bakshi started animating The Lord of the Rings in 1976, did he know what he was going to unleash on the world?" There was also the Rankin/Bass TV special, being developed concurrently, but its the Bakshi film that, in 1979, Peter Jackson saw, and this young Photoengraver would later direct six (!) live-action Tolkien films and, between himself and co-producer Philippa Boyens, are hard to work producing three more such films. Other adaptations since - namely, The Rings of Power (especially Season One) but also games from The Shadow of Mordor to Return to Moria - have at the very least taken cues from Jackson's films. All because a Kiwi photoengraver saw a cartoon....
But the relationship between these properties is not so clear-cut as it may seem. I ednumbered the similarities and dissimilarities between Jacksons' films and The Rings of Power elsewhere. Now I want to delve deeper into the similarities and dissimilarities between Jackson and previous adaptations of Tolkien.

The Rankin/Bass TV Specials

Side-by-side video comparisons between Jackson's films and the two Rankin/Bass TV Specials do not reveal any similarities that don't come from the fact that they're adapting the same books. This is an important point: Jackson is NOT trying to make some post-modern "collage" Hollywood film. He's only tipping his hat to those adaptations of Tolkien that he had seen growing up and that influenced him personally.1
Due to copyright, the Rankin/Bass specials probably didn't air in New Zealand at all, and although it seems Jackson got a hold of the Rankin/Bass The Hobbit before embarking on The Lord of the Rings, he had not seen their Return of the King, certainly before 1999, and neither he nor his close collaborators have made comments about either of the two Specials. By contrast, the (American!) showrunners of The Rings of Power had referenced the Rankin/Bass Specials, and seemingly tipped their hat to it in a set design for season two.2

The Ralph Bakshi film

As I said, Jackson went to see the Bakshi film. He had enjoyed some of Bakshi's previous film, including the Tolkien-esque Wizards, released the previous year, and went to see his latest. At the time he hadn't read the books, making Bakshi's film his first exposure to Tolkien, but he does admit he "heard the name" of the book beforehand. His biography suggests he saw it in late 1978, when it first premiered, but surely it would have arrived at New Zealand in early 1979. Jackson does acknowledge that he may well have never made his films had he not seen Bakshi's.3
The connection between the two films had been played up, unsurprisingly, by Ralph Bakshi himself. A leonine, grandiose man, Bakshi is anything but a reliable narrator. His own suggestion that he hadn't actually seen the films - only trailers, he claims - sounds believable enough and certainy understandable.4 But, then, if he didn't watch them, it makes his critique of them as deriviative of his films all the more dubious, even without actually looking at the specifics of what he said:
Look at his Lothlorien. Look at my backgrounds of Lothlorien. Take a look! He had much more to see than I did, and if you don't think he lifted it over and over again, you're wrong. I mean, how did he design a knife in Lord of the Rings? How did he design a sword? How did he design the dwarf with his axe? How did he design the fur around him? Why did Peter Jackson put fur around the dwarf? Because I put fur around the dwarf! Why would the dwarf have fur naturally? You see, I could give you a billion little things. I wish I had a movie to look at.5
These are truly some confused claims, for the most part. The most credible part here is the Hobbits hiding under the branch from the Ringwraiths, a shot composition later to also be replicated in season one of the Rings of Power, and which we'll get to later.
Another claim of Bakshi's that cannot be dismissed out of hand is that, however big or small a debt Jackson owes to his film, he said that Jackson didn't publically acknowledge the influence and felt that it was only appropriate to have welcomed him to visit the set or something: by comparison, Jackson invited Rick Baker, who played King Kong in the 1978 version, to cameo in his King Kong.6
Jackson actually did mention the Bakshi filming in passing in the making-ofs. Then again, he entirely fails to mention the radio serial, either. Ultimately, Jackson possibly in cahoots with New Line Cinema, must have felt it unwise to point to a previous adaptation that had only achieved mixed success, at the outset of his own enterprise. He did talk more about the Bakshi film, and more fondly, in the director's commentary to The Fellowship of the Ring and in a couple of later interviews, which are significant gestures, but he clearly wasn't going to trumpet the influence Bakshi's film had on him off of every rooftop.7
In his 2006 biography, Jackson actually briefly reviews the Bakshi film:
I liked the early part – it had some quaint sequences in Hobbiton, a creepy encounter with the Black Rider on the road, and a few quite good battle scenes – but then, about half way through, the storytelling became very disjointed and disorientating and I really didn’t understand what was going on. However, what it did do was to make me want to read the book – if only to find out what happened!8
This is a complementary but admittedly mixed review, and Jackson had made similar comments since, calling it "brave and ambitious" but consistently decrying the hokum of the film's second half.9 Now, it is true that artists can be influenced by a work of art in spite of themselves, but lets see if we can try and quantify the influence.
From the outset, in the audio commentary, Jackson remarks that "our film stylistically is very different and the design is different," which is apposite: Bakshi swore a debt to Howard Pyle, which certainly leaves its mark of the gorgeous natural bakcdrops, but a source closer at hand (especially considering his follow-up fantasy film, Fire and Ice) is the most popular fantasy illustrator of his day, Frank Frazetta: Bakshi's Witch King is practically ripped from Frazetta's famous "Dark Rider" illustration.10
Jackson's approach, however, was steeped in a kind of romantic realism that by and large eschewed the heightened work of Frazetta, opening a yawning stylistic gulf between his film and Bakshi's on a general level. Bakshi's Hobbit-holes have overhanging roofs that give the impression of fairies living under mushrooms (which they in fact had in his previous film, Wizards) and the interiors of Bag End are earthen, more of a rabbit-hole than Jackson's English countryside villa. There are some similarities, like the Hobbits having similarly-clipped pants, but its hard to say costume designer Ngilla Dickson had Bakshi in mind for that look.
There's the basic structure of the narrative: both films leave some of the same plot beats out - Tom Bombadil, most notably - both intercut the Frodo and Aragorn storylines throughout (as per the appendices rather than the body of the text), and both open with a prologue. However, many of these are common-sense approaches that, if one were to put 100 screenwriters in a room, a good 90 of which would choose to pursue: in fact, Sir John Boorman's earlier Lord of the Rings script had likewise intercut the stories and redacted many of the same episodes as both Bakshi and Jackson, and similar approaches were taken in the 1958 Morton Zimmerman treatment. Certainly, in the case of the choice to pursue a prologue, a precedent closer at hand exists in the form in the 1981 radio serial, a point made all the stronger by the fact that when Jackson first concieved of and sketched the prologue, he hadn't seen Bakshi's film in 20 years.11
Bakshi did claim that New Line were screening his film repeatedly, but author Ian Nathan says that was never the case. Miramax did screen the film for Jackson in 1997, after he'd written the treatment. Jackson's treatment included Glorfindel and Erkenbrand, who in subsequent drafts are replaced by Arwen (Legolas in Bakshi's film) and Eomer, but still I find that it falls more into the realm of common-sense screenwriting decisions than anything that could be tied to Bakshi in a clear way, especially the latter which happens at the end of Bakshi film, a part of the film Jackson admits to have found incoherent.12
Rather, the place to look for similarities between the two projects is in the opening leg of The Fellowship of the Ring. Jackson actually, in the director's commentary, points out the shot of Odo Proudfoot calling "Proudfeet!" as a deliberate homage to Bakshi's shot, "which I thought was great." He doesn't acknowledge a couple - only a couple - of other shots that are quite similar: one is the evocative shot of the Ring tumbling over the rocks in Gollum's cave just before Bilbo finds it. Another still is an entire sequence of shots which misdirect us into thinking the Ringwraiths killed the Hobbits in their beds. Both are a little TOO similar to be waved away as coincidental.13
The Ringwraith shot is a more special case: It was nominally based off of a John Howe illustration, ostensibly of the Bakshi scene. But Jackson - who's quoted review of the Bakshi film mentions this scene - could hardly not notice the similarity to the Bakshi scene, especially since the scene doesn't at all play like this in the novel. What's more, the scene was first storyboared only shortly after Jackson say Bakshi's film for the second time, and shot not too long after that being that it was the first scene filmed. So its only fair to cite Bakshi as an influence on that shot.14
https://preview.redd.it/9mbqqm4zul0d1.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=a45cdd06543d70200e3eacf150f14d03d222203b
There are other bits and pieces: did Jackson have Bakshi in mind when he added a scene of Saruman rallying up the Uruk-hai before the siege of Helm's Deep? Its hard to say. An even more elusive case is made by Bakshi: "I'm glad Peter Jackson had a movie to look at—I never did. And certainly there's a lot to learn from watching any movie, both its mistakes and when it works." In other words, Bakshi here suggests his film influenced Jackson in terms of what NOT to do. To his credit, Jackson does remember that the design process for Treebeard was in part motivated by trying to divorce him from the Bakshi version, which both him and Dame Fran Walsh remember as being "like a walking carrot." But when we start getting into that level, it all becomes very tenuous. There were a lot of things about the fantasy genre in general - Conan the Barbarian and Willow are oft-cited by Jackson - that he tried to avoid.15
Ultimately, I have to judge that the similarities between the two versions amount to a handful of rather insignificant beats, all in the first hour of Fellowship of the Ring. To hyperbolically play up the similarities between the two projects is to give in to Bakshi's hyperbolic rhetoric.

Tolkien illustrations

Jackson's first and, at the time, only copy of The Lord of the Rings was a tie-in to the Bakshi film. This would mean he hadn't gotten into the world of Tolkien illustrations until developing his own films, when he suggests he went on a detail-exhaustive search for Tolkien art. He had seen Tolkien's own illustrations, but decided that they're "not very helpful in terms of the lighting and the mood."16
The most acclaimed illustrators of the previous era of Tolkien were Pauline Bayens (whose Minas Tirith is reproduced in the Rankin/Bass Return of the King) and the Brothers Hildebrandt, whose bestial Balrog presents a precursor both to Bakshi's but also to the Minotaur-like Balrog of John Howe.17
Howe was one of a trifecta of Tolkien illustrators, along with Ted Nasmith and Alan Lee, to enjoy great vogue at the time when Jackson was developing his films. Of the three, Lee is often deemed the most celebrated and certainly made the biggest impact on Jackson, whose next copy of the book was to be an Alan Lee illustrated edition. But he also noticed Howe through is work on Tolkien calendars, and later also purchased some originals of Ted Nasmith. All three were approached to participate in concept design for the films, although Nasmith sadly had to decline.18
In many places, Jackson precisely copied designs of Lee's and Howe's existing paintings, and in some places carbon copied their lighting and composition for shots, as well as grading the films (before the advent of the latest remaster) somewhat along the lines established in their paintings. But the majority of Lee and Howe's work for Jackson was in producing NEW concept art to his specifications, and so its wrong to look at Jackson's films as being a part of the Lee-Howe ouevure, as such.

The 1981 Radio Serial

A less touted influence on Jackson's film is the superlative 1981 BBC radio serial. Where Jackson hadn't reread the book nor revisited Bakshi's film between 1979 and 1997, he had spent much of the that time listening on-and-off to a tape of the radio serial, usually while working in his garage on special effects.19
The most obvious similarity is the casting of Sir Ian Holm, who had voiced Frodo in the radio serial, as Bilbo. Holm was apparently at the top of Jackson's casting wishlist, partially for this reason. A particularly striking moment occurs when Holm's Frodo quotes Bilbo's "Its a dangerous business Frodo, going out your door: you step on to the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to", a line again given to Holm - now as Bilbo - in voiceover at the same spot in Jackson's film.20
Again, many of the similar structural choices here are similar to Jackson, adding a prologue, contracting the early stages of Frodo's quest and intercutting the Aragorn and Frodo's stories throughout. Brian Sibley admits to have modelled his prologue on Bakshi's own, but Jackson is unlikely to have known it at the time, and when we start thinking in terms of second-hand influences we're again into very tenuous territory. Otherwise, the influence doesn't seem all too great, although Sibley remembers that Walsh, perhaps half-jokingly, told him "we stole your ending" in the way that they did the Grey Havens and then a quick segue to Sam's return home, basically along the lines of the book.21
A young, and already Tolkien-devotee, Sir Ian Holm recording Bilbo
Sibley had recruited his cast from the BBC's company of actors, which is also the troupe Bakshi turned to, meaning that Sibley ended-up with Bakshi's Boromir (Michael Graham Cox) and, notably, his Gollum (Peter Woodthorpe). In spite of Woodthorpe's evocative performance of Gollum's voice in both the Bakshi and Sibley versions, its influence on Andrew Serkis' performance of Gollum is nonexistent, as Serkis had developed the voice before having heard Woodthorpe rendition, having only read The Hobbit prior to being cast.22

Other fantasy films

Jackson had seen pretty much all the fantasy films of the 1980s, and while they were important in terms of establishing the genre, they hadn't left much of an impression on Jackson. The most succesful - George Lucas' Star Wars - was more space-fantasy, undoubtedly impressed Jackson but didn't much influence his films: to this day, he professes to not be a huge Star Wars fan, in spite of the amiacable manner he and Lucas took with each other in later years, and admits that he sees the influence of Lucas more "in what he did for the industry, not in terms of the actual films that he made."23
The first major high-fantasy film, Sir John Boorman's Excalibur, was a little closer to Jackson's heart, but isn't much of an influence on his films either. Its true that Jackson's films feature a lot of plate armour, but that's indebted primarily to John Howe's abiding love of late Medieval armour, and at any rate is quite different to the Enlightement-era suits of armour one finds in Boorman's film. Willow, produced by George Lucas, was a big shot to the arm of New Zealand's fledgling film industry, and like Star Wars is much indebted to The Hobbit, but left a bad impression on Jackson.24
The Clockmaker's Cottage in Sir Ridley Scott's Legend
Two exceptions are to be cited; Ray Harryhousen's stop-motion fantasy films from the 1950s were huge favourites of Jackson's, although their more Graeco-Roman subject matters were a genre apart from Jackson's films. He is also a big fan of Sir Ridley Scott, and while he joins the consensus of deriding William Hjortsberg notorious screenplay, had taken some cues from his Legend (1986): there's something of the Clockmaker's cottage in Rhosgobel, and Jackson referenced some of the features of Tim Curry's devilish "Lord of Darkness" for the Wargs sinewy faces.25

Other films

Jackson took influence from paintings of old battles and landscapes, but surely his biggest influences are other films: Zulu and Saving Private Ryan had been referenced for Helm's Deep, and there's a touch of Terrence Malick's The Thin Red Line, which Jackson had watched before principal photography, to the atmospheric shots that close the Fellowship prologue. Jackson admitted to rewatching mostly Scorsese films while shooting, and certainly the energy of his moving cameras find a closer kin in Scorsese's films than in anyone else's. There's something of David Lean's Lawrence of Arabia to Jackson's intention to make living, breathing people out of his fantasy characters.26
Surely the inspiration for the shot of Aragorn arriving at Helm's Deep
But there's one film that looms largest in Jackson's films, overshadowing any influence we're looked at so far: Mel Gibson's latest spectacular, Braveheart. Along with other films of this kind like Dances with Wolves and Rob Roy (Gladiator came too late to much influence Jackson's films) it is of crucial importance to the overall cinematic style of Jackson's films, having come out just as Jackson first started thinking of making an original fantasy film, and winning the academy award for Best Picture before any sustained work was done to develop The Lord of the Rings.27

Footnotes

  1. Matt Skuta, "The Hobbit Side-by-Side: Rankin/Bass ('77) & Peter Jackson ('12-'14)" and "Return of the King Side-by-Side: Rankin/Bass ('80) & Peter Jackson ('03)," YouTube, 15 February 2018.
  2. The Rankin/Bass Specials were only made exploiting a loophole in the publication of Tolkien's books that temporarily made them public domain States-side, but meant that their airing was limited to the US, and subsequent a legal agreement with the Tolkien Estate, Canada. Jackson says he hadn't seen their Return of the King in an interview from late 1998. Eric Vespe, “ 20 QUESTIONS WITH PETER JACKSON – PART 2 Ain’t It Cool News,” , 30 December 1998.
  3. Brian Sibley, Peter Jackson: A Filmmaker's Journey (London: Harper Collins, 2006), pp. 107-111.
  4. Kyle, ""Legends of Film: Ralph Bakshi," Nashville Public Library, 29 April 2013.
  5. Emru Townsend, "INTERVIEW: Ralph Bakshi", Frames Per Second, 2 July 2004.
  6. Ken P., "Interview with Ralph Bakshi," IGN, May 25, 2004. Broadway, Clifford Q., "The Bakshi Interview: Uncloaking a Legacy". The One Ring, 20 April 2015.
  7. Anonymous, "From Book to Script," and Peter Jackson et al, "Director's Commentary," both in Peter Jackson, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (New Line: 2002). Also Anonymous, "Peter Jackson interview". Explorations (Barnes & Noble, November 2001). Peter Jackson interview at the Egyptian Theater, 6 February 2004.
  8. Sibley, pp. 109 ff.
  9. Director's Commentary.
  10. Ned Raggett, "The Trouble With Ralph Bakshi’s The Lord Of The Rings & Other Tolkien Misadventures", The Quietus, 19 November 2018
  11. Ian Nathan, Everything You Can Imagine: Peter Jackson and the Making of Middle-earth (London: HarperCollins, 2017), p. 138.
  12. Peter Jackson et al, The Lord of the Rings, quoted in Sibley, pp. 109, 704, 751.
  13. Director's Commentary.
  14. Celedor, "10 Things You Know About The LOTR Movies (That Aren’t True)," TheOneRing, 11 June 2013.
  15. "Interview with Ralph Bakshi."
  16. Sibley, p. 738-744. Exeter College, Oxford, "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation: Exeter College Oxford Eighth Century Lecture Series", YouTube, 30 July 2015.
  17. Howe admits to the influence of the Hildebrandts, and in turn his own bestial Balrog would influence those of Alan Lee and Ted Nasmith. This would be popularised by Jackson, and finally emulated by Rings of Power. John Howe, "First Thing's First," John-Howe, 6 January 2012.
  18. "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation", Sibley, 738-744. The One Ring, "Peter Jackson MISSED OUT! Talking Tolkien with Renowned Artist Ted Nasmith," YouTube, 11 July 2023.
  19. Nathan, p. 123, NB 1008.
  20. Nathan, p. 258.
  21. Nerd of the Rings, "Brian Sibley, writer, BBC's The Lord of the Rings (1981) - Interview," YouTube, 20 April 2021.
  22. Nathan, pp. 621 ff
  23. "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation"
  24. “20 QUESTIONS WITH PETER JACKSON – PART 2"
  25. Ibid.
  26. Nathan, pp. 158, 393, 645.
  27. u/Chen_Geller, "How Masterpieces beget Masterpieces: Braveheart and The Lord of the Rings," Reddit, 23 June 2021.

Conclusions

Any notion that Jackson's films are derivative of previous Tolkien adaptations - namely, Bakshi's - are very much hyperbolic, and stem more from adopting an inflated rhetoric taken by the likes of Bakshi. As an adaptation, Jackson's works are based soley on Tolkien's books, and merely tip their hat occasionally to previous adaptations - and not all previous adaptations, either. Cinematically, they draw rather from other sources: less from other adaptations of Tolkien or other fantasy film (Tolkien-esque or not) and more from historical epics, both from the 1960s but also and especially from the time in which Jackson first started developing his films.
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2024.05.09 09:19 -The-Master-Baiter- unnamed story, 2nd batch of 5000 words






Chapter 3.
It had been three hours.
Cain checked his watch again, though he had already checked it innumerable times before.
Three hours and 16 minutes. Add 47 seconds to that to be precise.
The noises had died down. There were no more screams, and bangs or crashes were rare occurrences: likely delayed reactions, like weakened walls falling over after hours of slow deterioration, or cars finally exploding after sitting in a burning pile, oil and gas slowly heating up until finally combusting. These would probably go on for days, maybe even weeks.
Which, of course, meant one thing: It was time for him to get up. Or well, he could get up now. Though, theoretically, the longer he waited, the safer it would be. Eventually there would be a point when waiting any longer would be pointless, detrimental, even. But who was he to say when that point was? He remembered learning that you needed to drink water once every three days to survive, so he would need to leave before then, but was a day too long? It seemed harmless to wait just a day.
Angel would be fine for a while. She had been given fresh food and water this morning and if she got desperate, she could rip open the bag of food. She had done it before, he had taught her not to of course, but if she was starving, she would do what she needed. As for water, he usually left the toilet bowl open. And what were the odds he closed the bathroom door in both bathrooms?
An unwelcome thought drifted through his mind, like the cruelly burned scrap of a once beloved piece of literature blowing in on a breeze.
It was his mother in the kitchen of their tiny little house, when he had been very young. He had said something about his homework which he didn’t remember, and she had said.
“What you want to do is called pro-crast-in-a-tion. And it ‘s a real bad thing. Its like lying to me or someone else, but its worse cause when you procrastinate you lie to yourself. You say ill do it in an hour, and when an hour rolls around, you say, “Well I would do it now, but I’m almost finished with the chapter of this book, but in 30 more minutes ill be up to it, and I don’t have to do it until next Tuesday, so what’s the harm.” But then when Tuesday rolls around you look back and realize you just kept on going like that and never stopped. So you always gotta just up and do it when you can do it.”
Well shit. He knew he was lying to himself. There was no danger out there, none which could be prevented by waiting another hour. He knew why he was staying up here and he had known since the screaming had stopped. The chunk of red meat that had plopped down beside him crossed his internal vision like a lightning bolt that left a searing, unpleasant after-image. Then came the unnamed man with his black hair and, red-tinged eyes, and his mindless pig screams. Then the car which so casually and yet so directly smashed into the skyscraper. The driver uncaring about his imminent death. Th e ripple of glass and the rain of shards.
He reached up and touched his temple and found a rough patch of scabbed over blood where the shard had cut him, and the blood had dried.
Yes, he knew why he was still up here.
Coward, loser.
It was then that he noticed movement on the street through the window. He had noticed movement before; there were a few people walking around in a drugged haze, people who the internet had just taken to calling zombies. They did not seem to be capable of thought, communication, or even basic instinctual survival. But what he saw was clearly not a zombie, or rather a pair of zombies.
He was looking at intelligent and living human beings. Their movements were smooth and fluid, unlike the slow and aimless trudge of the few zombies he had seen. The arms of one person moved in the deliberate motions of a person trying to make a point, and he could see the mouth of one, a woman with blond hair, moving in speech.
He should go down and talk to them shouldn’t he? If they were walking around, then there was a good chance the streets were safe anyway. With a start, he turned around and began walking toward the white door. He felt the memories start rolling through his mind again, as if the act of walking toward the door had activated some demented burglar alarm. He let the memories slide across his mind but he kept himself calm.
You always gotta just up and do it when you can do it.
It was time. If there was ever an opportunity to go outside, this was it. He walked toward the door and then down the stairs. The memories increased in intensity as he walked closer to the outside like he was walking toward a blinding and nauseating light. But he steeled himself and let the memories pass over him. A random line came to him :
The calm in the center of the storm.
He was halfway toward the door, an open rectangle framed with shards of jagged glass, when he heard a few wisps of conversation from the two outside.
“I cannot believe it….”
“They were so much weaker..”
“The splintered wander and…”
He drew closer and he heard a few lines more clearly.
“They are like mindless mutts, let out into the wild after being coddled by their master for their entire lives.” The voice was a woman’s, presumably belonging to the blonde. It contained a tone of slight disgust and contempt that Cain reserved for such topics as the dead and rotting rat he found behind the toilet, or the goey dog shit that he stepped in the one time he walked outside barefoot.
“You are letting Shara control you,” a male voice responded, overly calm “I do not blame you for the slip, there is a lingering essence of it.” The voice said the last word with a chill that spread gooseflesh along Cain’s skin.
“If you just examine your last sentence, you will see that it has managed to worm its way into your mind. Clear your mind and focus, we must capture splintered, and I do not want to lose you to Shara. Many of the weaker will lose to their host, but you have always been strong.”
The female paused and then spoke with immaculately controlled emotion.
“You are right, Goren. I can feel it inside me now that I look. It is a parasite that feeds on me and grows fat on my weakness. I need to be quiet now, I must focus on controlling myself.”

Cain had his back against the wall beside the open doorframe and he held himself utterly still. His balls clenched tightly and goosebumps stood out across all of his exposed flesh. The voices had been strange almost, inhuman. They lacked the normal emotional cadence of a conversation, a cadence that you didn’t even notice until it was gone. Both spoke in a flat lifeless sort of voice, each dominated utterly by a single emotion until that emotion was replaced by another in robotic flip.
They woman had said:
“They are like mindless mutts, let out into the wild after being coddled by their master for their entire lives.”
He thought of the zombies whose minds had been broken by an unbearable, unutterable agony. What else could she be talking about? There was nothing, mindless wandering the streets for the first time other than them.
This brought up another question: why were they both ok? The obvious answer was just: they both survived, dumbass. But there was more to it.
They knew each other clearly, but the survival rate, and the overall effect that the wave had inflicted seemed to be entirely random and immensely rare. The odds that two people who knew each other well both survived and recovered at the same time…. Well it seemed impossible.
The thought of the woman’s voice came to him again.
“They are like mindless mutts, let out into the wild after…”
There was something wrong with the way that voice had sounded, apart from the unnatural tone. She had sounded utterly disdainful, and disgusted, but even more than that, she had not sounded shaken.
She had said, “they” like she knew what she was talking about, like “they” were a subject brought up often in conversation. Like… she was not surprised.
They both miraculously survive, and she talks about the zombies like she’s been seeing them for years.
He didn’t even begin to know all the rest about “Splintered,” and “Shara,” or…”It,” code names maybe, or maybe the two people were just a pair of zombies who had gone batshit instead of turning into mindless, walking corpse, but he did know one thing.
These two seemed to have known about the wave before it happened and been prepared.
He needed to know more about this. It could mean the difference between his life and his death if these people set off another wave and he was less lucky. And if he learned what caused this and how to prepare or even tell others, it would be more important than anything.
It had been a long, long time since Cain had taken many risks, but he had before and he needed to now. He thought of a lanky 13-year-old boy, hair so dark with grime, that its rich red almost appeared brown.
With a heart like a drum he peered around through the doorway and saw the two figures shrinking town the corpse-ridden street.
Then he dashed toward the nearest gap between buildings, rolling each footfall from heel to toe to reduce noise. If he followed through the adjacent street over, they would be less likely to notice him following.
The two did not notice him crossing the street behind them and he successfully hid himself behind the cover of a building, where he stood for a few seconds, waiting for his racing heart to die down.
Why am I doing this? Why the fuck am I doing this?
The thought came unbidden and it made him realize that he had actually had no idea why he was doing this. A few thoughts had crossed his mind basically amounting to these people seem suspicious, I should follow them, and then he just leapt into action. But, he realized, it was not the thoughts that had convinced him to follow the pair, it was a feeling. The moment he had seen the two from the window he had been looking down from, he had known: there was something special about those two. Though, special might not be the correct word. The correct word might be something like errant, or deviant. No, it was abnormal. They were abnormal.

It was similar to how a mannequin looks like a person, but just by looking at it your mind is instantly able to tell that there is something wrong. It picks up on a dozen little details. The skin color looks a little too waxy, a little too even, there are none of the reddish, fluxuating hues seen in natural skin. The hair is too straight and it seems not to quite reflect the light in the right way. Everything is too stiff and too hard, it doesn’t breath or twitch or shift or blink.
He had unconsciously felt same feeling about the pair but in an indescribable and somehow irrefutable way. And he had also felt that he needed to follow the pair, that it was important, and he would regret it if he did not. He could never have explained the feeling, but he knew that it was right.
He pushed himself off the wall and speed walked along the adjacent road to catch up with the pair.
He was so dedicated to his task, that he never noticed how silent his steps were, or how proficiently he was able to read their body language to prevent detection.
For a while, his experience was utterly uninteresting. The two walked in silence, seemingly without purpose. They did not look around more than the normal amount seen in a person taking a walk down the street and, due to the blonde woman’s apparent problem, did not speak. Eventually they reached a Hilton hotel which sat confidently in the corner of an intersection, and the dark-haired man, Goren, put out a hand.
In a neutral tone, he said:
“It would be most efficient if we split out searched at this intersection and returned to this location in an hour. This would increase the chance of finding splintered and would cover the approximate amount of ground. Remember we do not need to be thorough, this is a reconnaissance mission with capturing splintered being a secondary objective.”
“Fuck. You. Goren. I am capable of retaining simple instructions for a few hours,” The woman almost whispered in a tone of extreme contempt.
She turned on a heel and did not walk, but stalked, down one of the paths of the intersection.
Goren did not respond to this, but simply watched her walk away with an unchanged expression, before turning and walking his own way with unhurried steps.
Cain watched from the shadow of a nearby dumpster, And with the pungent scent of expired McDonalds products wafting info his nose, made a decision.
He would follow the woman. Based on the limited information he had, it seemed like the best decision. She seemed more unstable and less composed than Goren and therefore less likely to notice him following her.
Simple is usually best.
As soon as both figures had moved what he thought was a safe distance away, he rushed toward a less exposed point of cover.
“Cassandra,” said an unnaturally calm voice, now tinged with something like glee.
“We have found something better than a splintered, come and take a look.”
Cain’s heart stopped in his chest and he though one thing:
Why did I do this, Jesus, why did I do this? I knew it was stupid the moment I did it. Why?
Cain looked up and saw the woman, Cassandra, peering at him from down the road. It was the same way a child might examine a cockroach trapped in a jar, a mix of interest and mild revulsion.
Actually sounding happy, she said. “This one must be quite incredible to recover so quickly, which means he might even be a threat.” The last word had that same near whisper, though it was not a whisper of anger, but of a gleeful excitement.
“Be careful,” Goren said, “It is hard to see, but its influence still greatly increases the strain of our hosts. We are far more vulnerable to being lost, so we must be cautious.”

Without waiting for a reply, Goren raised his arm high above his head.

What the fuck is he

Goren’s arm stretched and twisted and them with meaty pops bulged explosively outward, it reminded Cain of an elephant toothpaste explosion. So much volume, so much stuff, coming out where stuff had not been there before.
At first the stuff lacked form, it was merely a massive meaty mass, but in seconds it began to ripple and twist as it formed a shape like a reddish, glistening almond with several grooves.
As soon as Cain began to question, the almond shape burst open into five slender tentacles each connected with strings of a gooey mucus-like slime and each tipped with a hard blackened spike.
Jesus.
Goren rushed at Cain, with inhuman speed and a face utterly devoid of any emotion, even the glee he had seemed to show earlier. The tentacles readjusted so that the hardened spikes faced him. and before he could think do anything, even be terrified, they blurred toward him like meaty whips.
All Cain could do was raise his arms protectively and think.
STOP!
He felt a titanic impact on his raised arms and he flew backward, his legs somehow not giving out as his shoes skidded on the pavement.
For a split second, after he reached a stop, he remained in that same position, eyes squinted closed, arms raised in a protective cross. And then he noticed:
My arms…don’t hurt.
Sure, they ached from the impact, but they should have been broken and punctured, possibly even pierced straight through to his vulnerable chest. Those tentacles had been moving like a speeding truck, and the force would have been concentrated at the point of the spike. They should have been able to pierce steel.
He held his arms up and when he saw them, felt a shock even greater than he had felt from any of the events that had occurred throughout the day, because this was his body.
Bone protruded from the skin of his forearms in a thick white outcropping that extended outwards like a shield. Each outcropping was marred with several cone shaped puncture marks, but they didn’t hurt as internal bones would have.
Oddly, he thought of fingernails and hair and how their semi-dead, semi-living status prevented their loss from being painful.
With sudden fear he remembered and whipped his head up to see Goren flying toward him. The tentacles whipped and flailed in the air as if each has its own mind, before they each shot at him from their own angle, black spike-first.
Cain did not know how he did what he did next. In an instant he saw that not all of the tentacles would arrive at exactly the same time, meaning they could be avoided one at time. The first came from his left and he smashed it upwards, diverting its momentum with his shielded forearm. The next two came almost at the same time from his right aiming to pierce his left side in his gut and his chest.
He shot himself backwards in a near explosive dodge, the two spikes ruffling his shirt their passing, but in his distraction, looked up too late as the fourth blurred toward his unprotected forehead.
He was too slow! With those bone plates, his arms were too bulky and unresponsive to reach.
COME ON, FASTER!
In what felt like slow motion, his arms strained to reach the tentacle, but the trajectories were clear: one would reach before the other.
And then, his arms changed, lightened. The bulky plates melted away like they have never existed. Something that felt like a tube emerged from his elbow and there was an incredible burst of air.
His hand was around the tentacle, a few inches away from his forehead.
It wriggled and twisted like a snake, its lithe musculature enhanced by the slimy, mucus that coated it. And once again, for a split second, Cain was frozen by the sudden change in his body. But when he remembered this time it really was too late
Number five!
What felt like a slim yet powerful cable smashed into his calves and sent him sprawling forward before wrapping around his legs and lifting him upside down into the air.
In an instant the other four tentacles regrouped and faced him point first in every vital area
Finally, Cain had time to feel fear and it was like no other fear that he had ever felt, not even this very day. Because the thing that held him was no inexplicable force of nature, but a man. A twisted monster of a man who could shapeshift like a nightmare.
Am I so different?
Goren looked up at him with his dull eyes, one hand in a pocket and the other one raised into the air, the shirt sleeve torn and the arm split flowerlike into five red tentacles of meat.
“You will answer our questions and then we will kill you. If you do not answer, I will make you feel pain worse than you can imagine, you will answer, and then you will die anyway.”
He spoke like a professor explaining a simple logical process.
But Cain ignored him, he had a feeling, a feeling like the one that had told him the pair was abnormal. And it told him that he might be able to survive.
So he thought.
What was this ability he possessed? What did it do? When he had been attacked by Goren, he had raised his arms in defense and though “stop.” An instant later, he had grown his own shields of bone. When he needed to go faster, his arms changed in an instant to their current form, which seemed to be able to propel themselves with air to move faster. And of course throughout the entire fight he was able to move too quickly, to think and react too fast, to take damage too well. Even before he had been following them, he realized, he had been tracking far too proficiently. He was no private investigator who could follow someone for hours without being noticed.
The one commonality seemed obvious. It seemed like he was able to adapt, even in the most literal and physical sense, to the situation at hand.
But what was the limit?
Goren had been watching him silently, waiting for a response. Now he said:
“Very well, I will have to inflict pain. If you wish to die peacefully, this is your chance to speak. I do not wish to waste time on something so pointless.”
Goren raised his other hand, and his face twitched as it started to morph, though this time to a smaller degree.
You’re going to regret being this close to me!
Cain’s nose wrinkled and his eyes narrowed in pure hatred as he thought,
Fucking DIE!
Six spikes of bone erupted from Cain’s torso, one speared each of the five tentacles and the final one, extra long and with a barbed tip, speared straight between Goren’s dull brown eyes in a spurt of crimson. He had no time to even look surprised before he toppled backwards. Cain knew how quickly his “adaptations” occurred.
Cassandra, who had been hanging back, screamed a horrific and bestial wail of anger. Her face twisted and wrinkled like a rabid dog and a two red points of fire flared alight deep in her eyes like red coals. But suddenly she paused and stepped back, shaking with repressed emotion. With her demonic eyes burning into his she slapped a hand onto the ground and a something quicksilver and red slid out from her palm and onto the pavement until it encircled Cassandra like she was some demon trapped inside a summoner’s circle. Then she sank down into the circle, sending out ripples as she did. First legs, then chest, and finally head with its searing red dots burning into his soul. And then she was gone. The quicksilver circle made a small plop as Cassandra’s head disappeared into it and then it closed, and the pavement was back to normal.
Cain let out a sigh and sat on his ass in what was partly intentional and partly him collapsing from shock and exhaustion.
He accepted in an offhand way that he was shaking uncontrollably. Had the world gone FUCKING INSANE? It had been maybe four hours and now 99% of people were dead and walking nightmares disguised as people were wandering the streets.
And he had just killed one of them.


Chapter 4
From an anonymous notebook:
They do not look well upon us keeping written accounts of the goings on in their ranks, it is not a matter of distrust, of course, for all members are trusted absolutely, even myself for all that I am quite new. Though no one will search for this tome, and it will near certainly never be found, I still wish to hide my name in case of the most unlikely of chance should come to pass. I have seen what they do to those they see as having betrayed them.
A person who they see as having betrayed them is considered to be weak of heart and they are destroyed. And no I do not mean killed, though perhaps that may be a better fate. No, instead he or she is seized by a group of them and taken away to a secret place, the location of which I do not know, though I have my suspicions. They will be gone for a day and then they will return without so much as a single mark upon their bodies or visible damage of any kind. But I would far prefer a broken arm to sharing their fates, I tell you. You see it is not their bodies which are broken, but their minds. All who experience this fate, have a dull and vacant appearance as if they were asleep with their eyes open. It is like why were once shining diamonds, but returned tarnished and lacking shine of any kind.
Such people they have taken to calling serfs, an archaic term used to describe a laborer bound under a feudal lord, though I am told that the “scientific term” though science may be the wrong word, is “splintered.” And yes there is a reason for this, and I shall explain it later on. Suffice it to say that for my own sake, I will keep my name, along with all actions specific enough to incriminate me, outside of this tome and as you can well see, I have my reasons.
Now that I have explained myself, I should imagine that you, my nonexistent reader, have queries. Perhaps the largest of which is “Who are “they?””
This is a subject which is surprisingly difficult to answer, so I suppose I shall start with the most simple part of it all: their name. They, like most organizations of great size and influence, have many names, but are mostly known by one, The Coven.
And now that I have told you that, I admit I struggle even to put into writing where I should continue. Their scale perhaps? As far as my knowledge on the subject extends, The Coven is a vast and silent spider with its legs spread across all continents and its web ensnaring a great many people.
I am still unsure of many things about it myself as I have not been a member as long as most. What I do not know is perhaps more important that what I do, and I have stayed awake long nights in my bunk and simply questioned. Perhaps is was those long hours of thought alone in my bunk which compelled me to begin this journal. But in any case, I do not know their purpose, or who leads them, or aside from certain surface-level criteria, why they choose certain people to become members.
And yes, people are chosen to join, rather than joining themselves. There have actually ben. a few cases of people joining on purpose, though every such case still had its own measure of accidentalism. The Coven is and always has been silent and secret and so people simple cannot apply and join on their own. In my own imagination The Coven has some hidden criteria or switches out there in the world and when a person reaches that criteria or hits that switch he or she is watched and evaluated to see if he or she could become a member.

By simple deductive reasoning, I have thought of some of the more simple methods my potential trackers would use to decide if one is a worthy Coven member. Obviously, such a person could not have close family or friends who would notice him missing, and would need to be of a certain mind, though I do not know exactly what traits the Coven desires. And of course there is the question of how to integrate a person into the coven. A person must be able to explain to all those he knows, for all but hermits and homeless men know someone why he is disappearing. This requires a degree of intelligence, confidence and ability to lie. Of course such resources as a car, money, connections, ect. would be valued as well.

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2024.04.28 04:55 nulloperator_ Found Out my Parents used the Bible to justify Child S3x Crimes on Me

TW//Sexual Abuse//Physical Violence

Hi All, I'm a male between ages 20 and 30 and this is my childhood experience. I could use as much support as possible since I’m catching some backlash from my family for bringing this up.

BACKGROUND: CHILD ABUSE CULT

When I say cult, I don't mean a cult in the sense of David Koresh compound style cult, I mean more so in mindset and fringe religious practices. My parents believed in the doctrine called "mortification of the flesh", which basically states that people are born evil, and to make them not evil, you have to hit them. See [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\\\_(instrument\\\_of\\\_penance)\](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\_(instrument\_of\_penance))
My parents are extremist fundamentalist Christians. My dad was basically a pastor, and my mom "home schooled" us. When I say home school, I'm being very generous on the school part. They were part of the Quiverful evangelical home school movement and held to the teachings of people like Jonathan Lindvall, Dough Philips, Tedd Tripp, Mike and Debbie Pearl, Stan and Brenna Jones, and Dennis and Barbra Rainey, among others.
Basically, I have solid proof my parents were using these books on me.

TEACHINGS OF TEDD TRIPP

The teachings of Tedd Tripp are certifiably insane. I'll provide several quotes here from his book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart":
* "Spanking is most effective in dealing with young children. They fear being spanked. The spanking gives weight to your words. The spanking sobers and humbles the child. As children get older they get more stoic about spanking. They learn how to deal with it. The intensity of spanking required to make the same impression on a 12-year-old that you make on a 2-year-old would be excessive.”
* “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
* “I have witnessed spankings administered through a double layer of diapers to a child who never stopped moving long enough to know he had been spanked. The spanking was ineffective because the parents never made the rod felt.”
* “When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. When he is resisting you, he is disobeying. If you fail to respond, those rebellious responses become entrenched. The longer you put off disciplining, the more intractable the disobedience will become.”
* “Rebellion can be something as simple as a small child struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as that which is laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child less than a year old can understand, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate. Your temptation will be to wait until your children are speaking and able to articulate their rebellion before you deal with it.”
* “When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old, we were confronted with parenting our first mobile child. He crawled everywhere. We had a bookshelf constructed of boards and bricks. Fearing the shelf would fall on him, Margy told him not to pull himself up by the shelf. After moving him away from the shelf, she left the room. As she peeked in on him, she observed him surveying the room. Not seeing her, he headed back toward the forbidden bookshelf. Here was a young child, not yet able to walk or to talk, looking to see if the coast was clear so he could disobey. Obviously, he was old enough to be disciplined.”
* “After you have spanked, take the child up on your lap and hug him, telling him how much you love him...On some occasions I have had to say to our children: ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.’”
Tedd tripp said in an interview on desiringgod: “But what is the purpose of it? I think spanking is most effective with younger children. Spanking gets their attention. It gives weight to your words. It humbles them. They want to avoid it. And it becomes very effective, particularly with little children where you can’t really reason with them, and they are not capable of complex reasoning.... So I think that it is indispensable in those early years particularly.”

MIKE AND DEBBIE PEARL:

The book, "To Train Up a Child" is also particularly nasty, and 1994 edition especially so. In the 2015 version, they tried to smooth over some of the more abusive passages because parents were hitting their kids to death and they were using this book.
The book emphasizes the doctrine of the mortification of the flesh, stating:
* “A spanking (whipping, paddling, switching, or belting) is in-dispensable to the removal of guilt in your child. His very conscience (nature) demands punishment.”
* “If God’s love is expressed by the ‘whippings’ He gives, then can we not also love our children enough to chasten them unto holiness?”
* “The very nature of the child makes the rod an indispensable element in child training and discipline....“They go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3).”
More messed up stuff includes:
* The opening line of this book states, “SWITCH YOUR KIDS”
* “Training does not necessarily require that the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the obstacles of a city street, shouldn’t a parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?”
* “A dog can be trained to come, stay, sit, be quiet or fetch upon command. You may not have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone accomplishes it on the dumbest mutts. Even a clumsy teenager can be trained to be an effective trainer in a dog obedience school. If you wait until your dog is displaying unacceptable behavior before you rebuke (or kick) him, you will have a foot-shy mutt who is always sulking around seeing what he can get away with before being screamed at.”
* “Where there is an absence of training, you can no more rebuke and whip a child into acceptable behavior than you can the family dog. No amount of discipline can make up for lack of training.”
* “Proper training always works on every child. To neglect training is to create miserable circumstances for yourself and your child. Out of innocent ignorance many of you have bypassed the training and expected the discipline alone to effect proper behavior.”
* “There is much satisfaction in training up a child. It is easy and challenging. When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions. Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a ‘No- no’ corner or on an apple juice table (That’s where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don’t touch it." They will already be familiar with the ‘No,’ so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, ‘No.’”
* “Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.”
* “As the mother, holding her child, leans over the crib and begins the swing downward, the infant stiffens, takes a deep breath and bellows. The battle for control has begun in earnest. Someone is going to be conditioned. Either the tender-hearted mother will cave-in to this self-centered demand (thus training the child to get his way by crying) or the infant is allowed to cry (learning that crying is counterproductive).”
Further evidence of the abusive nature of Mike & Debbie Pearl’s teachings is found in a video clip of Mike Pearl speaking at a seminar, demonstrating with a child doll, where he stated, “I'm gonna get this rod if he screams too hard with the first five \[and\] gets hysterical... wait... you know a little psychological terror sometimes more effective than the pain.”
See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A\](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A) for a solid video by the channel Fundie Fridays on the Pearls.
Furthermore, Mike Pearl has explicitly justified domestic violence. In the book, “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl, described on the cover page as a guide to “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious”, Mike Pearl writes a section explicitly advocates for women to endure domestic violence:
* “Has your husband reviled you and threatened you? You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did. When he was reviled and threatened, he suffered by committing himself to a higher judge who is righteous. You must commit yourself to the one who placed you under your husband’s command."
* “Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. Just as we are to obey government in every ordinance, and servants are to obey their masters, even the ones who are abusive and surly, ‘likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands’...”
* “You can freely call your husband ‘lord’ when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husband’s hands just as our Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities...”
* “When you endure evil and railing without returning it, you receive a blessing, not just as a martyr, but as one who worships God.”
The Seattle times actually wrote about the Pearls and their book: [https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/\](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/)
* “‘It’s truly an evil book,’ said Michael Ramsey, the district attorney for Butte County, Calif.Ramsey successfully prosecuted Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz for hitting their daughter Lydia to death in Paradise, Calif., in 2006 with a plastic plumbing-supply tube — the kind the Pearls mention in an article on their website called ‘In Defense of Biblical Chastisement.’”
* “In Washington state, the death of Hana Williams marked the third time the Pearls’ names and their book have surfaced after the death of a child....”
* “Pearl encourages parents to think of the switch as a ‘magic wand’ and says teaching a child to obey is like training an animal: ‘A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?’”

JAMES DOBSON & FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

James Dobson is the founder of the religious organization and lobbying group Focus on the Family.
Here's a video of Dobson with Ronald Reagan in the Oval Office of the White House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGZvawO1V8
The first chapter of his book, the New Strong Willed Child, describes Dobson beating his dog:
“He was a stubborn, twelve-pound dachshund named Sigmund Freud (Siggie), who honestly believed that he owned the place.... On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me.... That was Siggie’s way of saying, “Get lost!”
I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me “reason” with ’ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled....
When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe.
That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed...
This is not a book about the discipline of dogs. But there is an important aspect of my story that is highly relevant to the world of children. Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, a child is inclined to do the same thing, only more so.”

JONATHAN LINDVALL & BOLD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

My parents would play tapes of Jonathan Lindvall when we went on road trips. He advocated for a radical evangelical homeschool lifestyle, social isolation of children from other “worldly” children, having as many children as possible regardless of financial means, explicitly denounced the socialization of children, and stated that children’s education should focus primarily on the Bible.
I couldn't find the actual tapes they played but I found his old website: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/\](https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/)
Some outstanding bits include:
* “We all want our children to have the skills and disciplines to provide for their familiessome day. But job preparation is similarly not worthy as a primary goal of homeschooling. Jesus explicitly warned us not to be concerned with how our food and clothing are supplied (Matt. 6:19-34). This, in fact, is the context in which he called us to ‘seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.’”
* “There are many desirable, God-pleasing results likely to come from our obedience to God in choosing to personally disciple our children. But no matter how good they are, if they are the focus, rather than our aim being to bring Jesus pleasure, they can become idols for us. Many homeschoolers have become enamored with the vision of the long-term societal (political/economic) impact our practices can have. May the Lord bring all this about, but may our hearts be set on Him more than on the impact we can have.”
* “Another objection virtually every homeschooler in western society has been confronted by is the ‘socialization’ question. In our society is assumed to be essential for children to spend time with peers to be properly adjusted. Yet the preponderance of scripture cautions from the opposite perspective. Proverbs 12:26 warns, ‘The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.’ Proverbs 13:20 is even more pointed, saying, ‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Paul was apparently quoting an accepted proverb at the time when he wrote, ‘Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’’ (1 Cor. 15:33).”
* “No doubt the Lord wants our children to learn to benefit from edifying fellowship, just as He wants this for us. However, positive social skills are generally not learned from children. God intends for fathers (not peers) to shape their children’s values and tendencies ‘in the training and admonition of the Lord’ (Eph. 6:4). This requires protecting our children from peer domination, and instead structuring our family lifestyles to facilitate intense, intimate relationship between our children and ourselves.”
* “Sadly, perhaps as a result of the world’s challenges regarding ‘socialization,’ many homeschoolers feel pressure to provide settings where their children can spend large amounts of time with peers. Thus, over the years we have seen homeschool support groups move from supporting the parents to supporting the children with extra-familial activities like sports teams, group music experiences, and cooperative classes. There are probably times when it is appropriate to expose our families to teaching situations where the parents are not necessarily doing all the teaching, but it is a significant danger to fall into the habit of exposing our children to the addictive peer group influences.”
• “Virtually every homeschool parent will easily identify the most frequently asked question about their homeschooling as, ‘What about socialization?’ When people ask this question, what are they wondering about? Are they worried that our children will not be capable of displaying lifelong servanthood for the glory of God? Generally not. They are shocked that we are not intimidated at the thought of our children being different from everyone else.”
• “Socialism is the attempt to equalize everyone--make everyone alike. But God didn't make us alike. He made each of us, including our children, to be unique. And we are not to minimize, but maximize our distinctives for the glory of God. We are not to try to mask our uniqueness beneath a facade of timid conformity. We are to SHINE! Jesus said (Mat 5:16), ‘Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.’”

STAN AND BRENNA JONES

First of all, here’s a photo of the author: [https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/\](https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/)
Their book, “What’s the Big Deal: Why God cares about sex” identifies as a christian sex education book for children as young as age 8. The cover of the book states, “Ages 8-12”.
The book states in the introduction, “We believe that God means for Christian parents to be their children’s primary sex educators. First messages are the most powerful-why wait until your child hears distorted views and then try to correct the misunderstanding? Sexuality is a beautiful gift-why not present it to your child the way God intended?”.
This book contains passages explicitly describing:
* How pleasurable sex is;
* The location and pleasurability of the clitoris;
* The sensitivity of the penis to pleasure
* What porn is and where it's found
* What rape porn is
* What sex slavery is
* Explicit descriptions of orgasms, including describing them as a sudden burst of pleasure
My dad read me this book when I was 8, 3rd grade.
TEDD TRIPP & BDSM P0RN SITES
What really got me thinking about this was the fact that in my state, the statute of limitations to sue in civil court for assault and battery was up, however the statute of limitations on sexual abuse was not.
So obviously all of this stuff is pretty messed up. But what takes it to the next level of messed up and makes what they did a sex crime (I'm hoping the DA sees it the same way), is when you really look at what Tedd Tripp advocates parents do to their children:
“Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
Which basically means:
* Take off the child's clothes
* Place them on your lap, fully or partially naked
* Strike them with what could legally be classified as a deadly weapon
So I started thinking about how spanking is a BDSM kink and fetish. Which was weird to think about in the context of what your parents did to you.
Then I thought, well damn there are tons of BDSM p0rn sites, there have to be some with what happened to me on there. It turns out that there are TONS of videos of exactly this on sites such as p0rnhub and heavy fetish .com.
For example:
* “Hard belt spanking for cheating” (porn hub)
* “Spanked to Tears with the Bathbrush - Real Tears for Letting Him Down” (porn hub)
* “Hard paddle spanking in the principal's office” (porn hub)
* “SPANK CHINA - Hua’s first spanking session”, (heavy fetish)
* "Spanking Jane" (heavy fetish)
I tried putting the links in but reddit flagged my post so if you’re really curious just search by title and website
These videos appear on the same site as stuff like real hardcore BDSM stuff like electrocution torture and people in cages, tied in the air and having their genitals electrocuted. Basically real torture like in this video: "WIRED PUSSY - Sandra Romain andSara Scott" (heavy fetish)
And then you realize, "oh, if they filmed what they did, it would be child p0rn_".
18 U.S. Code § 2256:
  1. ‘child porn0graphy’ means any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer or computer-generated image or picture, whether made or produced by electronic, mechanical, or other means, of sexually explicit conduct, where- the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; such visual depiction is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image that is, or is indistinguishable from, that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or such visual depiction has been created, adapted, or modified to appear that an identifiable minor is engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”
  2. sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
  3. sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex;
  4. bestiality;
  5. masturbation;
  6. sadistic or masochistic abuse; or
  7. lascivious exhibition of the anus, genitals, or pubic area of any person;

TORTURE

The next shoe to drop was when I read the legal definitions of torture.
Torture is defined as “the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. -Merriam Webster
The U.N. Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment says:
“For the purposes of this Convention, the term ‘torture’ means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.”
The U.S. Federal torture 18 U.S. Code § 2340 says,
"'torture' means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control"
The study “Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse” from University of Wisconsin School ofMedicine and appearing in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma states:
  1. "Child torture is defined medically as...At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death... And...
  2. At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation...
  3. Inflicted by the child’s caretaker(s)”
It also says:
* “Stover and Nightingale (1985) state: The purpose of torture is to break the will of thevictim and ultimately to break his or her humanity...through infliction of severe or acute physical pain and mental suffering...and requires that the torturer exert physical control over his or her victim. (p. 4–5)”
* “Campbell (2007) adds: ‘The act of torture is carried out for the purpose of physically and psychologically ‘breaking’ an individual’ (p. 633).’”
* “PTSD is the most commonly diagnosed psychological disorder among adult torture victims (Allodi and Cowgill 1982; Herman 1992). In addition to torture, polyvictimization has been recognized to be associated with worse mental health outcomes in child abuse victims (Finkelhor et al. 2011). By definition, all of \[the study participants\] have suffered polyvictimization as defined by Finkelhor.”
See [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x\](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x)

GRANDFATHER MANDATORY REPORTER

Also, in this fucked up land of fucking crazy shit, I realized that my grandfather, who we saw all the time, was a mandatory reporter THIS WHOLE TIME. He also had a masters in Psychology, so that's extra WTF.

DAD MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR

Another wild thing is that my dad just got his masters in counseling (christian counseling ofc) and is now working as a mental health care provider.

CONCLUSION

I was just diagnosed with Chronic PTSD a few weeks ago and have been out of work on treatment ever since.
But basically none of this feels real to me. I find it interesting in a sort of detached way that every time I detail what my childhood was like, they're shocked and appalled. I could see the female detective's eyes tearing up a bit. But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. After all, they put my sibling in the psych hospital 3x before the age of 18.
Please let me know what you all think. One of the silver linings on all this is because of my time in the military, I can get a free PTSD service dog which I'm excited for.
The crazy thing is that one of the counselors in the PTSD program is a former cop and sex crimes investigator and even he was shocked by how bad this whole thing is. So that's my life right now. :)
TLDR: Parents in child abuse cult; did S&M acts on us as kids; police investigating.
submitted by nulloperator_ to exchristian [link] [comments]


2024.04.28 04:49 nulloperator_ NEED SUPPORT: Grew up in a child abuse cult; just reported parents to the police for sex crimes against children

TW//Sexual Abuse//Physical Violence

Hi All, I'm a male between ages 20 and 30.
I'm writing this after I drove down to the police station this morning and reported my parents for sex crimes against children, so this is all very fresh in my mind so it will be a long post.

BACKGROUND: CHILD ABUSE CULT

When I say cult, I don't mean a cult in the sense of David Koresh compound style cult, I mean more so in mindset and fringe religious practices. My parents believed in the doctrine called "mortification of the flesh", which basically states that people are born evil, and to make them not evil, you have to hit them. See [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\\\_(instrument\\\_of\\\_penance)\](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline\_(instrument\_of\_penance))
My parents are extremist fundamentalist Christians. My dad was basically a pastor, and my mom "home schooled" us. When I say home school, I'm being very generous on the school part. They were part of the Quiverful evangelical home school movement and held to the teachings of people like Jonathan Lindvall, Dough Philips, Tedd Tripp, Mike and Debbie Pearl, Stan and Brenna Jones, and Dennis and Barbra Rainey, among others.
Basically, I have 100% proof my parents were using these books on me.

TEACHINGS OF TEDD TRIPP

The teachings of Tedd Tripp are certifiably insane. I'll provide several quotes here from his book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart":
* "Spanking is most effective in dealing with young children. They fear being spanked. The spanking gives weight to your words. The spanking sobers and humbles the child. As children get older they get more stoic about spanking. They learn how to deal with it. The intensity of spanking required to make the same impression on a 12-year-old that you make on a 2-year-old would be excessive.”
* “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
* “I have witnessed spankings administered through a double layer of diapers to a child who never stopped moving long enough to know he had been spanked. The spanking was ineffective because the parents never made the rod felt.”
* “When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. When he is resisting you, he is disobeying. If you fail to respond, those rebellious responses become entrenched. The longer you put off disciplining, the more intractable the disobedience will become.”
* “Rebellion can be something as simple as a small child struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as that which is laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child less than a year old can understand, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate. Your temptation will be to wait until your children are speaking and able to articulate their rebellion before you deal with it.”
* “When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old, we were confronted with parenting our first mobile child. He crawled everywhere. We had a bookshelf constructed of boards and bricks. Fearing the shelf would fall on him, Margy told him not to pull himself up by the shelf. After moving him away from the shelf, she left the room. As she peeked in on him, she observed him surveying the room. Not seeing her, he headed back toward the forbidden bookshelf. Here was a young child, not yet able to walk or to talk, looking to see if the coast was clear so he could disobey. Obviously, he was old enough to be disciplined.”
* “After you have spanked, take the child up on your lap and hug him, telling him how much you love him...On some occasions I have had to say to our children: ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.’”
Tedd tripp said in an interview on desiringgod: “But what is the purpose of it? I think spanking is most effective with younger children. Spanking gets their attention. It gives weight to your words. It humbles them. They want to avoid it. And it becomes very effective, particularly with little children where you can’t really reason with them, and they are not capable of complex reasoning.... So I think that it is indispensable in those early years particularly.”

MIKE AND DEBBIE PEARL:

The book, "To Train Up a Child" is also particularly nasty, and 1994 edition especially so. In the 2015 version, they tried to smooth over some of the more abusive passages because parents were hitting their kids to death and they were using this book.
The book emphasizes the doctrine of the mortification of the flesh, stating:
* “A spanking (whipping, paddling, switching, or belting) is in-dispensable to the removal of guilt in your child. His very conscience (nature) demands punishment.”
* “If God’s love is expressed by the ‘whippings’ He gives, then can we not also love our children enough to chasten them unto holiness?”
* “The very nature of the child makes the rod an indispensable element in child training and discipline....“They go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3).”
More messed up stuff includes:
* The opening line of this book states, “SWITCH YOUR KIDS”
* “Training does not necessarily require that the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the obstacles of a city street, shouldn’t a parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?”
* “A dog can be trained to come, stay, sit, be quiet or fetch upon command. You may not have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone accomplishes it on the dumbest mutts. Even a clumsy teenager can be trained to be an effective trainer in a dog obedience school. If you wait until your dog is displaying unacceptable behavior before you rebuke (or kick) him, you will have a foot-shy mutt who is always sulking around seeing what he can get away with before being screamed at.”
* “Where there is an absence of training, you can no more rebuke and whip a child into acceptable behavior than you can the family dog. No amount of discipline can make up for lack of training.”
* “Proper training always works on every child. To neglect training is to create miserable circumstances for yourself and your child. Out of innocent ignorance many of you have bypassed the training and expected the discipline alone to effect proper behavior.”
* “There is much satisfaction in training up a child. It is easy and challenging. When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions. Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a ‘No- no’ corner or on an apple juice table (That’s where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don’t touch it." They will already be familiar with the ‘No,’ so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, ‘No.’”
* “Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.”
* “As the mother, holding her child, leans over the crib and begins the swing downward, the infant stiffens, takes a deep breath and bellows. The battle for control has begun in earnest. Someone is going to be conditioned. Either the tender-hearted mother will cave-in to this self-centered demand (thus training the child to get his way by crying) or the infant is allowed to cry (learning that crying is counterproductive).”
Further evidence of the abusive nature of Mike & Debbie Pearl’s teachings is found in a video clip of Mike Pearl speaking at a seminar, demonstrating with a child doll, where he stated, “I'm gonna get this rod if he screams too hard with the first five \[and\] gets hysterical... wait... you know a little psychological terror sometimes more effective than the pain.”
See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A\](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A) for a solid video by the channel Fundie Fridays on the Pearls.
Furthermore, Mike Pearl has explicitly justified domestic violence. In the book, “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl, described on the cover page as a guide to “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious”, Mike Pearl writes a section explicitly advocates for women to endure domestic violence:
* “Has your husband reviled you and threatened you? You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did. When he was reviled and threatened, he suffered by committing himself to a higher judge who is righteous. You must commit yourself to the one who placed you under your husband’s command."
* “Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. Just as we are to obey government in every ordinance, and servants are to obey their masters, even the ones who are abusive and surly, ‘likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands’...”
* “You can freely call your husband ‘lord’ when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husband’s hands just as our Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities...”
* “When you endure evil and railing without returning it, you receive a blessing, not just as a martyr, but as one who worships God.”
The Seattle times actually wrote about the Pearls and their book: [https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/\](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/)
* “‘It’s truly an evil book,’ said Michael Ramsey, the district attorney for Butte County, Calif.Ramsey successfully prosecuted Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz for hitting their daughter Lydia to death in Paradise, Calif., in 2006 with a plastic plumbing-supply tube — the kind the Pearls mention in an article on their website called ‘In Defense of Biblical Chastisement.’”
* “In Washington state, the death of Hana Williams marked the third time the Pearls’ names and their book have surfaced after the death of a child....”
* “Pearl encourages parents to think of the switch as a ‘magic wand’ and says teaching a child to obey is like training an animal: ‘A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch?’”

JAMES DOBSON & FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

James Dobson is the founder of the religious organization and lobbying group Focus on the Family.
Here's a video of Dobson with Ronald Reagan in the Oval Office of the White House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGZvawO1V8
The first chapter of his book, the New Strong Willed Child, describes Dobson beating his dog:
“He was a stubborn, twelve-pound dachshund named Sigmund Freud (Siggie), who honestly believed that he owned the place.... On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me.... That was Siggie’s way of saying, “Get lost!”
I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me “reason” with ’ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled....
When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe.
That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed...
This is not a book about the discipline of dogs. But there is an important aspect of my story that is highly relevant to the world of children. Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, a child is inclined to do the same thing, only more so.”

JONATHAN LINDVALL & BOLD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

My parents would play tapes of Jonathan Lindvall when we went on road trips. He advocated for a radical evangelical homeschool lifestyle, social isolation of children from other “worldly” children, having as many children as possible regardless of financial means, explicitly denounced the socialization of children, and stated that children’s education should focus primarily on the Bible.
I couldn't find the actual tapes they played but I found his old website: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/\](https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/)
Some outstanding bits include:
* “We all want our children to have the skills and disciplines to provide for their familiessome day. But job preparation is similarly not worthy as a primary goal of homeschooling. Jesus explicitly warned us not to be concerned with how our food and clothing are supplied (Matt. 6:19-34). This, in fact, is the context in which he called us to ‘seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.’”
* “There are many desirable, God-pleasing results likely to come from our obedience to God in choosing to personally disciple our children. But no matter how good they are, if they are the focus, rather than our aim being to bring Jesus pleasure, they can become idols for us. Many homeschoolers have become enamored with the vision of the long-term societal (political/economic) impact our practices can have. May the Lord bring all this about, but may our hearts be set on Him more than on the impact we can have.”
* “Another objection virtually every homeschooler in western society has been confronted by is the ‘socialization’ question. In our society is assumed to be essential for children to spend time with peers to be properly adjusted. Yet the preponderance of scripture cautions from the opposite perspective. Proverbs 12:26 warns, ‘The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.’ Proverbs 13:20 is even more pointed, saying, ‘He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Paul was apparently quoting an accepted proverb at the time when he wrote, ‘Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits’’ (1 Cor. 15:33).”
* “No doubt the Lord wants our children to learn to benefit from edifying fellowship, just as He wants this for us. However, positive social skills are generally not learned from children. God intends for fathers (not peers) to shape their children’s values and tendencies ‘in the training and admonition of the Lord’ (Eph. 6:4). This requires protecting our children from peer domination, and instead structuring our family lifestyles to facilitate intense, intimate relationship between our children and ourselves.”
* “Sadly, perhaps as a result of the world’s challenges regarding ‘socialization,’ many homeschoolers feel pressure to provide settings where their children can spend large amounts of time with peers. Thus, over the years we have seen homeschool support groups move from supporting the parents to supporting the children with extra-familial activities like sports teams, group music experiences, and cooperative classes. There are probably times when it is appropriate to expose our families to teaching situations where the parents are not necessarily doing all the teaching, but it is a significant danger to fall into the habit of exposing our children to the addictive peer group influences.”
• “Virtually every homeschool parent will easily identify the most frequently asked question about their homeschooling as, ‘What about socialization?’ When people ask this question, what are they wondering about? Are they worried that our children will not be capable of displaying lifelong servanthood for the glory of God? Generally not. They are shocked that we are not intimidated at the thought of our children being different from everyone else.”
• “Socialism is the attempt to equalize everyone--make everyone alike. But God didn't make us alike. He made each of us, including our children, to be unique. And we are not to minimize, but maximize our distinctives for the glory of God. We are not to try to mask our uniqueness beneath a facade of timid conformity. We are to SHINE! Jesus said (Mat 5:16), ‘Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.’”

STAN AND BRENNA JONES

First of all, this dude 100% looks like a pedo: [https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/\](https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/)
Their book, “What’s the Big Deal: Why God cares about sex” identifies as a christian sex education book for children as young as age 8. The cover of the book states, “Ages 8-12”.
The book states in the introduction, “We believe that God means for Christian parents to be their children’s primary sex educators. First messages are the most powerful-why wait until your child hears distorted views and then try to correct the misunderstanding? Sexuality is a beautiful gift-why not present it to your child the way God intended?”.
This book contains passages explicitly describing:
* How pleasurable sex is;
* The location and pleasurability of the clitoris;
* The sensitivity of the penis to pleasure
* What porn is and where it's found
* What rape porn is
* What sex slavery is
* Explicit descriptions of orgasms, including describing them as a sudden burst of pleasure
My dad read me this book when I was 8, 3rd grade.
TEDD TRIPP & BDSM P0RN SITES
What really got me thinking about this was the fact that in my state, the statute of limitations to sue in civil court for assault and battery was up, however the statute of limitations on sexual abuse was not.
So obviously all of this stuff is pretty messed up. But what takes it to the next level of messed up and makes what they did a sex crime (I'm hoping the DA sees it the same way), is when you really look at what Tedd Tripp advocates parents do to their children:
“Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
Which basically means:
* Take off the child's clothes
* Place them on your lap, fully or partially naked
* Strike them with what could legally be classified as a deadly weapon
So I started thinking about how spanking is a BDSM kink and fetish. Which was weird to think about in the context of what your parents did to you.
Then I thought, well damn there are tons of BDSM p0rn sites, there have to be some with what happened to me on there. It turns out that there are TONS of videos of exactly this on sites such as p0rnhub and heavy fetish .com.
For example:
* “Hard belt spanking for cheating” (porn hub)
* “Spanked to Tears with the Bathbrush - Real Tears for Letting Him Down” (porn hub)
* “Hard paddle spanking in the principal's office” (porn hub)
* “SPANK CHINA - Hua’s first spanking session”, (heavy fetish)
* "Spanking Jane" (heavy fetish)
I tried putting the links in but reddit flagged my post so if you’re really curious just search by title and website
These videos appear on the same site as stuff like real hardcore BDSM stuff like electrocution torture and people in cages, tied in the air and having their genitals electrocuted. Basically real torture like in this video: "WIRED PUSSY - Sandra Romain andSara Scott" (heavy fetish)
And then you realize, "oh, if they filmed what they did, it would be child p0rn_".
18 U.S. Code § 2256:
  1. ‘child porn0graphy’ means any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer or computer-generated image or picture, whether made or produced by electronic, mechanical, or other means, of sexually explicit conduct, where- the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; such visual depiction is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image that is, or is indistinguishable from, that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or such visual depiction has been created, adapted, or modified to appear that an identifiable minor is engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”
  2. sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
  3. sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex;
  4. bestiality;
  5. masturbation;
  6. sadistic or masochistic abuse; or
  7. lascivious exhibition of the anus, genitals, or pubic area of any person;

TORTURE

The next shoe to drop was when I read the legal definitions of torture.
Torture is defined as “the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. -Merriam Webster
The U.N. Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment says:
“For the purposes of this Convention, the term ‘torture’ means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.”
The U.S. Federal torture 18 U.S. Code § 2340 says,
"'torture' means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control"
The study “Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse” from University of Wisconsin School ofMedicine and appearing in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma states:
  1. "Child torture is defined medically as...At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death... And...
  2. At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation...
  3. Inflicted by the child’s caretaker(s)”
It also says:
* “Stover and Nightingale (1985) state: The purpose of torture is to break the will of thevictim and ultimately to break his or her humanity...through infliction of severe or acute physical pain and mental suffering...and requires that the torturer exert physical control over his or her victim. (p. 4–5)”
* “Campbell (2007) adds: ‘The act of torture is carried out for the purpose of physically and psychologically ‘breaking’ an individual’ (p. 633).’”
* “PTSD is the most commonly diagnosed psychological disorder among adult torture victims (Allodi and Cowgill 1982; Herman 1992). In addition to torture, polyvictimization has been recognized to be associated with worse mental health outcomes in child abuse victims (Finkelhor et al. 2011). By definition, all of \[the study participants\] have suffered polyvictimization as defined by Finkelhor.”
See [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x\](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x)

GRANDFATHER MANDATORY REPORTER

Also, in this fucked up land of fucking crazy shit, I realized that my grandfather, who we saw all the time, was a mandatory reporter THIS WHOLE TIME. He also had a masters in Psychology, so that's extra WTF.

DAD MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR

Another wild thing is that my dad just got his masters in counseling (christian counseling ofc) and is now working as a mental health care provider.

CONCLUSION

I was just diagnosed with Chronic PTSD a few weeks ago and have been out of work on treatment ever since.
But basically none of this feels real to me. I find it interesting in a sort of detached way that every time I detail what my childhood was like, they're shocked and appalled. I could see the female detective's eyes tearing up a bit. But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. After all, they put my sibling in the psych hospital 3x before the age of 18.
Please let me know what you all think. One of the silver linings on all this is because of my time in the military, I can get a free PTSD service dog which I'm excited for.
But the thing that finally made me realize this should be referred to the police was that one of the counselors in the PTSD program is a former cop and sex crimes investigator and was shocked by this whole thing. So that's my life right now. :)
TLDR: Parents in child abuse cult; did S&M acts on us as kids; police investigating.
submitted by nulloperator_ to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2024.04.27 23:10 nulloperator_ Grew up quiverful, just reported missionary parents to police for s3x crimes

TW//Sexual Abuse//Physical Violence
Hi All, I'm a male between ages 20 and 30.
I'm writing this after I drove down to the police station this morning and reported my parents for sex crimes against children, so this is all very fresh in my mind so it will be a long post. Sorry for the weird title, reddit has been flagging and autoremoving this post for some reason.

BACKGROUND: CHILD ABUSE CULT

When I say cult, I don't mean a cult in the sense of David Koresh compound style cult, I mean more so in mindset and fringe religious practices. My parents believed in the doctrine called "mortification of the flesh", which basically states that people are born evil, and to make them not evil, you have to hit them. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline_(instrument_of_penance))
My parents are extremist fundamentalist Christians. My dad was basically a pastor, and my mom "home schooled" us. When I say home school, I'm being very generous on the school part. They were part of the Quiverful evangelical home school movement and held to the teachings of people like Jonathan Lindvall, Dough Philips, Tedd Tripp, Mike and Debbie Pearl, Stan and Brenna Jones, and Dennis and Barbra Rainey, among others.
Basically, I have pretty solid proof my parents were using these books on me.

TEACHINGS OF TEDD TRIPP

The teachings of Tedd Tripp are certifiably insane. I'll provide several quotes here from his book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart":
Tedd tripp said in an interview on desiringgod: “But what is the purpose of it? I think spanking is most effective with younger children. Spanking gets their attention. It gives weight to your words. It humbles them. They want to avoid it. And it becomes very effective, particularly with little children where you can’t really reason with them, and they are not capable of complex reasoning.... So I think that it is indispensable in those early years particularly.”

MIKE AND DEBBIE PEARL:

The book, "To Train Up a Child" is also particularly nasty, and 1994 edition especially so. In the 2015 version, they tried to smooth over some of the more abusive passages because parents were hitting their kids to death and they were using this book.
The book emphasizes the doctrine of the mortification of the flesh, stating:
More messed up stuff includes:
Further evidence of the abusive nature of Mike & Debbie Pearl’s teachings is found in a video clip of Mike Pearl speaking at a seminar, demonstrating with a child doll, where he stated, “I'm gonna get this rod if he screams too hard with the first five [and] gets hysterical... wait... you know a little psychological terror sometimes more effective than the pain.”
See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A for a solid video by the channel Fundie Fridays on the Pearls.
Furthermore, Mike Pearl has explicitly justified domestic violence. In the book, “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl, described on the cover page as a guide to “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious”, Mike Pearl writes a section explicitly advocates for women to endure domestic violence:
The Seattle times actually wrote about the Pearls and their book: https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/

JAMES DOBSON & FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

James Dobson is the founder of the religious organization and lobbying group Focus on the Family.
Here's a video of Dobson with Ronald Reagan in the Oval Office of the White House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGZvawO1V8
The first chapter of his book, the New Strong Willed Child, describes Dobson beating his dog:
“He was a stubborn, twelve-pound dachshund named Sigmund Freud (Siggie), who honestly believed that he owned the place.... On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me.... That was Siggie’s way of saying, “Get lost!”
I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me “reason” with ’ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled....
When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe.
That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed...
This is not a book about the discipline of dogs. But there is an important aspect of my story that is highly relevant to the world of children. Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, a child is inclined to do the same thing, only more so.”

JONATHAN LINDVALL & BOLD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

My parents would play tapes of Jonathan Lindvall when we went on road trips. He advocated for a radical evangelical homeschool lifestyle, social isolation of children from other “worldly” children, having as many children as possible regardless of financial means, explicitly denounced the socialization of children, and stated that children’s education should focus primarily on the Bible.
I couldn't find the actual tapes they played but I found his old website: https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/
Some outstanding bits include:

STAN AND BRENNA JONES

First of all, here's a photo of the author: https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/
Their book, “What’s the Big Deal: Why God cares about sex” identifies as a christian sex education book for children as young as age 8. The cover of the book states, “Ages 8-12”.
The book states in the introduction, “We believe that God means for Christian parents to be their children’s primary sex educators. First messages are the most powerful-why wait until your child hears distorted views and then try to correct the misunderstanding? Sexuality is a beautiful gift-why not present it to your child the way God intended?”.
This book contains passages explicitly describing:
My dad read me this book when I was 8, 3rd grade.
TEDD TRIPP & BDSM P0RN SITES
What really got me thinking about this was the fact that in my state, the statute of limitations to sue in civil court for assault and battery was up, however the statute of limitations on sexual abuse was not.
So obviously all of this stuff is pretty messed up. But what takes it to the next level of messed up and makes what they did a sex crime (I'm hoping the DA sees it the same way), is when you really look at what Tedd Tripp advocates parents do to their children:
“Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
Which basically means:
So I started thinking about how spanking is a BDSM kink and fetish. Which was weird to think about in the context of what your parents did to you.
Then I thought, well damn there are tons of BDSM p0rn sites, there have to be some with what happened to me on there. It turns out that there are TONS of videos of exactly this on sites such as p0rnhub and heavy fetish .com.
For example:
I tried putting the links in but reddit flagged my post so if you’re really curious just search by title and website
These videos appear on the same site as stuff like real hardcore BDSM stuff like electrocution torture and people in cages, tied in the air and having their genitals electrocuted. Basically real torture like in this video: "WIRED PUSSY - Sandra Romain andSara Scott" (heavy fetish)
And then you realize, "oh, if they filmed what they did, it would be child p0rn_".
18 U.S. Code § 2256:
  1. ‘child porn0graphy’ means any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer or computer-generated image or picture, whether made or produced by electronic, mechanical, or other means, of sexually explicit conduct, where- the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; such visual depiction is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image that is, or is indistinguishable from, that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or such visual depiction has been created, adapted, or modified to appear that an identifiable minor is engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”
  2. sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
    1. sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex;
    2. bestiality;
    3. masturbation;
    4. sadistic or masochistic abuse; or
    5. lascivious exhibition of the anus, genitals, or pubic area of any person;

TORTURE

The next shoe to drop was when I read the legal definitions of torture. Torture is defined as “the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. -Merriam Webster
The U.N. Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment says:
“For the purposes of this Convention, the term ‘torture’ means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.”
The U.S. Federal torture 18 U.S. Code § 2340 says,
"'torture' means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control"
The study “Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse” from University of Wisconsin School ofMedicine and appearing in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma states:
  1. "Child torture is defined medically as...At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death... And...
  2. At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation...
  3. Inflicted by the child’s caretaker(s)”
It also says:
See https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x

GRANDFATHER MANDATORY REPORTER

Also, in this fucked up land of fucking crazy shit, I realized that my grandfather, who we saw all the time, was a mandatory reporter THIS WHOLE TIME. He also had a masters in Psychology, so that's extra WTF.

DAD MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR

Another wild thing is that my dad just got his masters in counseling (christian counseling ofc) and is now working as a mental health care provider.

CONCLUSION

I was just diagnosed with Chronic PTSD a few weeks ago and have been out of work on treatment ever since.
But basically none of this feels real to me. I find it interesting in a sort of detached way that every time I detail what my childhood was like, they're shocked and appalled. I could see the female detective's eyes tearing up a bit. But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. After all, they put my sibling in the psych hospital 3x before the age of 18.
Please let me know what you all think. One of the silver linings on all this is because of my time in the military, I can get a free PTSD service dog which I'm excited for.
But the thing that finally made me realize this should be referred to the police was that one of the counselors in the PTSD program is a former cop and sex crimes investigator and was shocked by this whole thing. So that's my life right now. :)
TLDR: Parents in child abuse cult; did S&M acts on us as kids; police investigating.
submitted by nulloperator_ to HomeschoolRecovery [link] [comments]


2024.04.27 22:56 nulloperator_ Grew up in abuse cult, reported parents to s#x crimes detective today

TW//Sexual Abuse//Physical Violence
Hi All, I'm a male between ages 20 and 30.
I'm writing this after I drove down to the police station this morning and reported my parents for sex crimes against children, so this is all very fresh in my mind so it will be a long post. Sorry for the weird title, reddit has been flagging and autoremoving this post for some reason.

BACKGROUND: CHILD ABUSE CULT

When I say cult, I don't mean a cult in the sense of David Koresh compound style cult, I mean more so in mindset and fringe religious practices. My parents believed in the doctrine called "mortification of the flesh", which basically states that people are born evil, and to make them not evil, you have to hit them. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discipline_(instrument_of_penance))
My parents are extremist fundamentalist Christians. My dad was basically a pastor, and my mom "home schooled" us. When I say home school, I'm being very generous on the school part. They were part of the Quiverful evangelical home school movement and held to the teachings of people like Jonathan Lindvall, Dough Philips, Tedd Tripp, Mike and Debbie Pearl, Stan and Brenna Jones, and Dennis and Barbra Rainey, among others.
Basically, I have pretty solid proof my parents were using these books on me.

TEACHINGS OF TEDD TRIPP

The teachings of Tedd Tripp are certifiably insane. I'll provide several quotes here from his book, "Shepherding a Child's Heart":
Tedd tripp said in an interview on desiringgod.com: “But what is the purpose of it? I think spanking is most effective with younger children. Spanking gets their attention. It gives weight to your words. It humbles them. They want to avoid it. And it becomes very effective, particularly with little children where you can’t really reason with them, and they are not capable of complex reasoning.... So I think that it is indispensable in those early years particularly.” See https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/why-parents-spank

MIKE AND DEBBIE PEARL:

The book, "To Train Up a Child" is also particularly nasty, and 1994 edition especially so. In the 2015 version, they tried to smooth over some of the more abusive passages because parents were hitting their kids to death and they were using this book.
The book emphasizes the doctrine of the mortification of the flesh, stating:
More messed up stuff includes:
Further evidence of the abusive nature of Mike & Debbie Pearl’s teachings is found in a video clip of Mike Pearl speaking at a seminar, demonstrating with a child doll, where he stated, “I'm gonna get this rod if he screams too hard with the first five [and] gets hysterical... wait... you know a little psychological terror sometimes more effective than the pain.”
See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt0QOKbEj7A for a solid video by the channel Fundie Fridays on the Pearls.
Furthermore, Mike Pearl has explicitly justified domestic violence. In the book, “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl, described on the cover page as a guide to “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious”, Mike Pearl writes a section explicitly advocates for women to endure domestic violence:
The Seattle times actually wrote about the Pearls and their book: https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/did-hanas-parents-train-her-to-death/

JAMES DOBSON & FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

James Dobson is the founder of the religious organization and lobbying group Focus on the Family.
Here's a video of Dobson with Ronald Reagan in the Oval Office of the White House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGZvawO1V8
The first chapter of his book, the New Strong Willed Child, describes Dobson beating his dog:
“He was a stubborn, twelve-pound dachshund named Sigmund Freud (Siggie), who honestly believed that he owned the place.... On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me.... That was Siggie’s way of saying, “Get lost!”
I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me “reason” with ’ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled....
When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe.
That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed...
This is not a book about the discipline of dogs. But there is an important aspect of my story that is highly relevant to the world of children. Just as surely as a dog will occasionally challenge the authority of his leaders, a child is inclined to do the same thing, only more so.”

JONATHAN LINDVALL & BOLD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

My parents would play tapes of Jonathan Lindvall when we went on road trips. He advocated for a radical evangelical homeschool lifestyle, social isolation of children from other “worldly” children, having as many children as possible regardless of financial means, explicitly denounced the socialization of children, and stated that children’s education should focus primarily on the Bible.
I couldn't find the actual tapes they played but I found his old website: https://web.archive.org/web/20120829030118/http://boldchristianliving.com/
Some outstanding bits include:

STAN AND BRENNA JONES

First of all, here's a photo of the author: https://www.christiansexed.com/about-the-authors/
Their book, “What’s the Big Deal: Why God cares about sex” identifies as a christian sex education book for children as young as age 8. The cover of the book states, “Ages 8-12”.
The book states in the introduction, “We believe that God means for Christian parents to be their children’s primary sex educators. First messages are the most powerful-why wait until your child hears distorted views and then try to correct the misunderstanding? Sexuality is a beautiful gift-why not present it to your child the way God intended?”.
This book contains passages explicitly describing:
My dad read me this book when I was 8, 3rd grade.
TEDD TRIPP & BDSM P0RN SITES
What really got me thinking about this was the fact that in my state, the statute of limitations to sue in civil court for assault and battery was up, however the statute of limitations on sexual abuse was not.
So obviously all of this stuff is pretty messed up. But what takes it to the next level of messed up and makes what they did a sex crime (I'm hoping the DA sees it the same way), is when you really look at what Tedd Tripp advocates parents do to their children:
“Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.... It is best to lay the child across your lap rather than over a bed or a chair. This puts the spanking in the context of your physical relationship. He is not being removed from you to a neutral object for the purpose of being disciplined.”
Which basically means:
So I started thinking about how spanking is a BDSM kink and fetish. Which was weird to think about in the context of what your parents did to you.
Then I thought, well damn there are tons of BDSM p0rn sites, there have to be some with what happened to me on there. It turns out that there are TONS of videos of exactly this on sites such as p0rnhub and heavy fetish .com.
For example:
I tried putting the links in but reddit flagged my post so if you’re really curious just search by title and website
These videos appear on the same site as stuff like real hardcore BDSM stuff like electrocution torture and people in cages, tied in the air and having their genitals electrocuted. Basically real torture like in this video: "WIRED PUSSY - Sandra Romain andSara Scott" (heavy fetish)
And then you realize, "oh, if they filmed what they did, it would be child p0rn_".
18 U.S. Code § 2256:
  1. ‘child porn0graphy’ means any visual depiction, including any photograph, film, video, picture, or computer or computer-generated image or picture, whether made or produced by electronic, mechanical, or other means, of sexually explicit conduct, where- the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; such visual depiction is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image that is, or is indistinguishable from, that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; or such visual depiction has been created, adapted, or modified to appear that an identifiable minor is engaging in sexually explicit conduct.”
  2. sexually explicit conduct” means actual or simulated—
    1. sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex;
    2. bestiality;
    3. masturbation;
    4. sadistic or masochistic abuse; or
    5. lascivious exhibition of the anus, genitals, or pubic area of any person;

TORTURE

The next shoe to drop was when I read the legal definitions of torture. Torture is defined as “the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure”. -Merriam Webster
The U.N. Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment says:
“For the purposes of this Convention, the term ‘torture’ means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.”
The U.S. Federal torture 18 U.S. Code § 2340 says,
"'torture' means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control"
The study “Child Torture as a Form of Child Abuse” from University of Wisconsin School ofMedicine and appearing in the Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma states:
  1. "Child torture is defined medically as...At least two physical assaults, occurring over at least two incidents or a single extended incident, which would cause prolonged physical pain, emotional distress, bodily injury, or death... And...
  2. At least two elements of psychological abuse such as isolation, intimidation, emotional/psychological maltreatment, terrorizing, spurning, or deprivation...
  3. Inflicted by the child’s caretaker(s)”
It also says:
See https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40653-016-0108-x

GRANDFATHER MANDATORY REPORTER

Also, in this fucked up land of fucking crazy shit, I realized that my grandfather, who we saw all the time, was a mandatory reporter THIS WHOLE TIME. He also had a masters in Psychology, so that's extra WTF.

CONCLUSION

I was just diagnosed with Chronic PTSD a few weeks ago and have been out of work on treatment ever since.
But basically none of this feels real to me. I find it interesting in a sort of detached way that every time I detail what my childhood was like, they're shocked and appalled. I could see the female detective's eyes tearing up a bit. But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. After all, they put my sibling in the psych hospital 3x before the age of 18.
Please let me know what you all think. One of the silver linings on all this is because of my time in the military, I can get a free PTSD service dog which I'm excited for.
But the thing that finally made me realize this should be referred to the police was that one of the counselors in the PTSD program is a former cop and sex crimes investigator and was shocked by this whole thing. So that's my life right now. :)
TLDR: Parents in child abuse cult; did S&M acts on us as kids; police investigating.
EDIT: Also forgot to mention my dad is doing a masters in counseling and working as a mental health therapist.
submitted by nulloperator_ to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


2024.04.25 11:38 Outside-Sea-6733 Nonsense

Finally gotta to write my thoughts during like late February to early March. But maybe as time goes by, I forget some cuz I remember they were at least 12 chapters (Still be editing)
1
On the Fear of Death
Rabindranath Tagore
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life's battlefield
but to my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant me that I may not be a coward,
feeling your mercy in my success alone;
but let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure.
2 My parents are just very toxic, I'll make a complain of it and along with my hate to my homeland which I call it as land of Sodom. And actually my hatred towards Sodom ofc not just these words could describe, it would be books, endless
i) A small part of the conversation with a German dude who I mistook as a woman
And it was on Nov 18
Me Haha, when I was little I saw a high school chemistry textbook and was fascinated by the beautiful crystals (or more literally, whether they were ores or gems) and wanted to study chemistry, which wasn't guided by my father, as chemistry is not a lucrative profession in China. I then saw a romance novel in my middle and high school years where the hero and heroine were aiming at learning for being perfumers in the future, so I was still mesmerized by that and wanted to study chemistry again haha. To be honest, chemistry is not a good choice for girls in China, and I couldn't say I haven't regretted it, but I know that changing majors is not allowed in Germany either. So I had to stick with it.
Him You're such a hopeless romantic and his reminds me of the German novel das parfume which is like the most popular contemporary German novel
I have studied pharmacy which contains a lot of chemistry too in germany
And only studying what is lucrative is what ruins peoples lifes
Me I actually graduated in 2021, but on the one hand I can only earn 3000€ a year working here and can't save up to go to Europe (my parents wouldn't agree with that), and on the other hand I think too highly of myself and I don't like to talk about boring topics with shallow people, so I can't actually continue my job. Also, lack of a master's degree is getting harder and harder to get a job in China nowadays. Furthermore I have another thing I'm very afraid of, which is that I'm afraid my controlling parents will look back and see that I can't get into grad school nor can I find a job or even if I do find a job, force me to get married haha and I don't want to be with someone I look down on, I'm actually originally a radical feminist since December in 2021, and I've said before in my own family, "Whether it's black, white or yellow, males are all masters and I don't want any of them". (My mind and thoughts have been poisoned by romance novels and fanficton so I've restarted having good expectations to men again since May this year... I'm really losing sense and poisonous hahaha) If I don't have a degree and with I'm not beautiful enough, I'm just worthless in society and I won't be able to find any good ones. In short, I need to go to graduate school in China to save myself from a miserable life that I can see at a glance already.
And some words could be seen as footnotes I have mentioned to you before
Of course I want to leave, I wanted to leave in 2021. But after trying to work, I can only earn about 3,000 euros a year here, that's all I have right now, and I've calculated that my family doesn't even have more than 150,000 euros combined (because I'm a girl, my parents never tell me how much properties my family has, and are very disdainful of me for wanting to know that). Our wages here are even as low as 2 euros per hour with two days off a month, and I used to have a job with six days off a month. My parents wouldn't give me money to leave China either, they don't agree that I have feminist ideas in my brain. Also, I'm their only child and they say they're afraid I'll die abroad, yes, they think the West is full of dangers and believe every day that the view is unique, safe and beautiful here when one look at the world. All I can hope for is that I might be able to get into grad school, save up in the meantime, go to Europe to continue my education or just work, and then of course I want to live there forever.
Lazy to check, maybe there exist problem of grammar and usage 🤣
Hahaha told a lot of people I am radical feminist 🤣In my home country, feminists already be seen as crazy and rebellious, not to mention I am radical
[And there I attached a screenshot of my talk with my first Estonian friend and of course when share screenshots with others I often cut the avatar and username off:
Me I used to be a radical feminist, which means we radical feminist in Korea and China should do 6B4T
Then let me search the English definition https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/6B4T_movement#:~:text=In%20Korean%2Dlanguage%20abbreviation%2C%20%22,refers%20to%20rejecting%20strict%20beauty
Here's it
I used to cut off my hair like man, that's what we radical feminists there suggests, remove feminine symbol from us
Him
Youre brave
I really dont know what to say
Because im a man]
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/6B4T_movement#:~:text=In%20Korean%2Dlanguage%20abbreviation%2C%20%22,refers%20to%20rejecting%20strict%20beauty
Him No it reads perfectly and if had to imagine myself in your situation I would have a similar outlook. Thank god women don't have this expectation here to get married asap and actually 23 is still considered early to start studying . I notice that in China people have to decide on their career path very early and there's not much room if you have a change of heart later on
Me You can't imagine my mother wants me to get married since I was around 18, and as girls here, as they grow up parents always taught them, must do something, or you would be scolded in in-laws' family
Him
I sense there's a lot of pressure on someone like you in your surroundings
Me My mother said, why don't you get married before study and work, start a family before building a career
Him That's just terrible. I can appreciate that you'd just want the freedom of "being your own man at your own pace" but I always had that freedom That sounds like the career of raising kids 🤔
Me She would also give me examples of people she knew around her who got married in high school and I said don't they know shame?My mom said there's no shame in getting married and having kids.Even though, my mother (she was born in '65) also got married at 32, which is considered quite late in China, especially in her era.
Him Well they can't really force you. You're not the person to let yourself be dragged Infront of the altar
Sounds like Europe 120 years ago
Me My cousin's twin babies are in bad health, then my father said, why she couldn't just quit her job, like all the people do in the past
Him Well the father could also quit his job of course
Me Also, my cousin's husband can't have children naturally, but in China, always check if it's wrong with women's bodies and blame women first, if women are all healthy, then could check the glorious men
Him Terrible , I heard about this on tv
Me So breathtaking, but average Chinese woman's life [And there I attached a screenshot of my talk with my first Estonian friend as well Him: Your life sounds like movie
Me Average Chinese woman's life
Him Now i feel guilty
Life here is luxury compared to China
Don't mean to make you jealous
Me Forget all the feminist ideas in my head and agree wholeheartedly with patriarchal and traditional culture of this land and then I would feel like many women find this life normal
No, your country and many European countries didn't do anything wrong
China always says that the countries of Europe got rich by plundering, but what have Finland, Iceland, Lithuania and many others done? Nothing.
Him: Vikings hahaha
China kind of reminds me of my parents said about days when we were with Soviet Union]
Shake my head
We all have strong heart here, or just get used to it or never felt wrong by the society's influence
Him Yeah takes a lot of courage to do your own thing but someone like you can't be happy without pursuing your own path Hey you could lead a feminist movement and piss them all off properly 👌
Me Then I will die Already exist many women here dead for this
Him: Considering the declining birthrate, istn there some change occuring already ?
Me: They promote three-children policy or actually no limits for number of children anymore, which results to women more difficult to get a job or study
Sister, I'm finally back from walking and bathing, I was worried about you worried about me got caught by authorities for saying treasonous words haha🤣
Haha, I have a wonder. Before locking the screen my screen stays on the page we are talking on, so do your messages have to be shown as read even if I don't read them?
https://insidechina.rti.org.tw/news/view/id/2072201
Here is a thing I heard of, you can read it with the help of chrome's Google translate
Him: I see, so women don't want to be birthing machines, so that policy is actually backfiring
Me: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism_in_China
Him: Are you joking or serious ? So dreadful that you can't criticise openly, but you are using VPN right ? That ought to be encrypted
I dunno I don't pay any attention to the read thing and you don't need to worry about replying fast just take your time
Me: I know about the movement of Feminist Five, in here I and some people know it as Feminist Sisters Five
No, without VPN we could still surf on this app, but even with VPN, it still without help
Him Interesting , so I guess such articles aren't usually published in China ? But on tw addresses ?
Me: Keep in mind, actually everything is under surveillance
Ah, I found it on Chrome
Him: Spooky. Do you cross the street when the lights are red ? Or is that bad for the social score ?
Me: We have radical feminists online groups, got hidden from Douban (Chinese's version of Tumblr)or actually by the authorit** Use the Internet, all is the same And I know actually the government and me use the same VPN So more dangerous But somehow actually all the same in some extent One use the Internet, you see, wifi, 4G or under who's eyes? Maybe VPS is a little more safe, but I don't know how to build it, and maybe still under watch I surf on western Internet since like 2019, Reddit since May,2022 But don't I dare say a word since this August
Him: But what's the point of China's great firewall when anyone can just circumvent like that ? Is it like a trap to catch ppl?
Me My first word is on Reddit/polandball, saying someone's work about Germany, so adorable
Not everyone
We like 1.4 billion here
No more than 0.1 billion know how to access to outside Internet
Him: Oh I see Or most people might just don't know any better ?
Me: And if stay quiet, safe or not safe, depends on the glorious' minds
Him: I see so you still gotta be careful what you write
Me: The govern-++!ment sometimes arrests people who say things that are treasonous, but it won't say the real reason, it'll say it's because someone viewed a pornographic website
Him: That's so ironic, some people here would go bonkers if pornograpghy would be restricted in any way haha
Me: So that's the reason I stay quiet until months ago I dare say some words
And I am even a little worried
For a translated some poems
One poem named The Taiwanese Bamboo Branch Song, though it was written by famous person in mainland dead in 1929
Him: But usually websites have build in Https end to end encryption and other apps as well
Me: Another poems by Taiwanese poet Luo Fu
And I called Luo Fu as Taiwanese poet
Him: I usually avoid the topic of Taiwan, I had a bad experience with someone talking about it
Me: So maybe you can see why I am very frightened
Him: Yes
Me: I am a person totally okay with Taiwan, I don't care about this awful home land at all, I think it's should be at Taiwan's wishes
self-determination and who's the group first came to the territory in history
Him: Yeah let the people decide. But it's not that easy, because nowadays elections often get influenced by outside propaganda campaigns. Trying to shift public opinion by spreading false information
Me: Haha you don't know how smart our internet security systems are
As I said, no secret if one use Internet, I think maybe it's the same all over the world
Very scared
But this "glorious" land do it the best
Him: I have some inclination, but some apps like the old telegram have strong encryptions. Or the dark net as a whole. But but apps like these
Me: I don't use telegrams, I don't trust them and Twitter
Him: I don't either, but it's possible depending on what you use
Me: Twitter has a reputation of cooperate with my home land
Him: Just purely on a technical standpoint
Me: And I don't want to use telegrams, if I stay quiet, I may be at peace
Him: For sure, musk doing business in china
Me: But what telegrams could bring me, I don't want to get involved with politics, movements I could just take care of myself Telegrams may put me in danger
Him: I mean he actual app telegram , th instant messenger Or the all signal
Me: Maybe there exist traitors or something with the au;+_+_thoriti**++es
Him: Those are used for encryption or in some countries as WhatsApp ornwechat replacement
Me: Then what's the name I wanna hear, but afraid to use G++u-&__-i Min"&-hai Maybe you knew this person already
Him The name of the app is just telegram. And with such a type of end to end encryption, it's impossible for outsiders to read. Unless your using a device, which has spyware on it.
Me: Then my phone must have spy software Even if I get an American iPhone
Him In your country ever phone has it
Me Cause we must use some apps here
Him That's the reason Huawei got banned in usa
Me WeChat Alipay lots of stuff
Him It's not just apps, but I deeply integrated on a hardware level
Me Yeah, I even prefer my privaty stolen by westerns I feel no worries about use Google or whatever
Him Yep Google and everyone else keep track of things too
Me But in China,Internet access is completely real-name, it's just that your online friends don't always know who you are, the government does And actually neitzens could find out who you are too I mentioned Human Flesh Search Engine before
Him It's the same here, but if I wanna be completely anonymous I just take a tablet to the public WiFi. Devices themselves aren't attached to names here, only isp accounts
Me Wow, sounds beyond my comprehension, indeed, I am such an uneducated person don't know what's this I will read it carefully 🤣
Him If you go into a cafe there is internet access over WiFi. So you don't have to use your own internet at home ISP means internet service provider Like VDSL or cable or something
Me 🧐😵‍💫
Him For example if you just go to the store and buy a tablet, you don't have to leave your name Or a laptop So you take his to a cafe or something and log in to the wifi No way of tracing back your name Of course if you post online, you shouldn't tell anyone your name haha
Me Hahaha thanks for your words though I am still confused but I will tell you
Him No problemo You can ask me anything
Me Before we use the app, we already hand in our identity information
We already give out our phone number, ID Card pictures even face pictures
Him What ? You mean for using hello talk ?
Me Or we couldn't use them and we couldn't choose not to use them because every app is same and we must use some apps
Hellotalk also hand in my phone number
Him That's unbelievable
Me And actually I felt use ti it
Him 🥺
Me Because it doesn't require more! But it has linked with my WeChat So still the same
Him Yeah but it's still coupled to your phone number
Me Like ID card, face verification
WeChat or Alipay, almost every one has to use for everything, and it already have our ID information
WeChat has the strongest surveillance
Him Because it's also used for payment ?
Me One can even unable send some pictures on it
Him Yeah like Winnie the Pooh pictures
Me So you don't need to provide your any information?
Him No I never did that and noone here would do it If you use paying apps you just enter credit card information
Me Going out, administration, everything in life
Him But people still prefere cash in stores And I don't wanna be forced to take my mobile phone with me when I go out
Me China always laugh at countries like Germany still use cashes. But I found so ridiculous
Him It's not backwards in my opinion. There should be ways for anonymous payments, that's so dystopic to leave your name with any transaction you do
Me Our people here say we trade privacy for convenience, but given the choice, I'd rather not have that convenience. I have deep worries about private security all the time So I seldom put my pictures, yes, not even my selfies online
Him For example if you wanna buy gold, I would do it cash. If the government is at war it could cease private investments . But only if they have the buyers name
Me I almost only put pictures on the western Internet I have searched for this a lot on Reddit or YouTube or chrome I even wrote down once haha
Him Very smart
Me But I have something weird actually, I don't want touch the money for bacteria 🤣
Him But not much use when your government uses cameras and face recognition to track your every step You're excused, my quirky sister 😉
Me Yes I know it, they knew how many phones cards you have Sorry cannot understand, need Google at once
Him That means I appreciate your apprehension . In my job many people have that feat Fear
Me Ohh How time flies, though today we only talk about heavy things haha
Him I like this, it's a lot of fun to talk with you But I'm a little scared to get you into trouble
Me Yes, so maybe I won't talk about it anymore
Him Still, so interesting to hear from a different perspective At least I have confirmation some stuff in TV is real
Me Do you heard of him?
Him Uh well I can't decipher that one , Google didn't help haha The Rona related guy ?
Me He is a "traitor", he turns into a Swedish, and have to be one of the person in Sodom again
The au*** force him to admit his crime on TV
So he became one of glorious land again
Him I didn't hear about this peticular person, but I heard about these secret foreign offices of Sodom to "get their lost children back"
Me But Sweden still admit him as one of the Swedish people I need to keep in mind I'm a traitor too
Him Hey don't say the quiet part out loud 😉
Me So I couldn't be as brave as him, I could only take care of myself at the most and at best
Hahaha
Him Yeah that person seems to have acted like a martyr indeed
Me Just only keep the letters, remove the punctuations
Him Oh I got it That confessions vid is like the first result on google
Me Hahaha, in China, we often chat with wrong words, short form or add a lot of punctuations
As you said this, my heart broke for him
Him Doesn't help at all with the ai technology of today
Me Though I never dare to watch, I know it in my mind
But if without these, we even couldn't send out some even normal (not rebellion) messages, posts, comments 🤣
Him I feel like I'm part of a spy novel , it's kind of exciting
Me Hahaha
Him Whisperwhispermumblemumble It even the average dim witted person can see that it's completely staged. Who believes that ?
Me Sigh They don't need anyone to believe maybe, they just threaten
Him Oh yes. Like Putin killing off any dissidents like prigoshin. As a warning While publically playing innocent But everyone knows what's up
Me So frightening for me, as a child, I always dream of Anarchy society or actually described by Zhuangzi https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhuang_Zhou
Him I have this too sometimes. Like a natural disaster happing , like a comet hitting earth and everyone has to fend for them selves. Public order be damned
Me But when I grow up I found Anarchy may lead disorders Just enjoy the peaceful life described by him
Him Yeah there got to be some healthy middle ground , if that's possible
Me Here's the English translations I found https://www.harinam.com/tao-te-ching-verse-80-if-a-country-is-governed-wisely-its-inhabitants-will-be-content/ I truly enjoy it a lot since I was a kid https://www.taoistic.com/taoteching-laotzu/taoteching-80.htm
Different versions of translation haha
ii)
What I wrote on Dec 28-29
They mock me for wanting to go outside
Around December in 2021. my father said "why you want to go aboard to study. What are you going abroad for?Are you going to study until you're old (which means I should get married soon, yeah in China, weirdly before going to university, young people are not encouraged to being relationship if the parents or the locals want the young people to live more and more decent life and get higher degrees. But after going to university, they will maybe push children to being relationship soon, get married even have children soon even before the career started or the university years finnished)? Study through all your life?"
Meanwhile I said, "I want to go to Europe to study or work and then live forever"
But they always mock me for want to go to Europe, and sometimes they even don't remember, mistake Germany which I used to want to go as America 🤨😵‍💫
My parents are so toxic, my mother curse me to death just because I haven't taken the clothes home at 17:47 now. She threatened to slap me.
My mother haven't slapped me in my life, my father did. He hit me several times, especially these times. He slapped me in front of everyone in class (You may not believe that a girl who was my classmate in middle school and my schoolmate in high school, who strangely, provocatively said, "I remember your dad beating you up in middle school" when we were near the examination center for the Gaokao, to which I could only reply sarcastically, " You weren't even born when he beat me up.") when I did slower than other people on exams (but I wasn't bad at Chemistry, 55/60 on the Zhongkao https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhongkao (The Junior High School Scholastic Aptitude Examination), about 70/100 on the Gaokao https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaokao#:\~:text=The%20Nationwide%20Unified%20Examination%20for,in%20early%20June%20every%20year. (The Nationwide Unified Examination for Admissions to General Universities and Colleges), and Chemistry was my strongest subject after English (124/150 in Gaokao), and I only relied on they two to just barely make it to college, because I really didn't study much in high school, I just read romance novels every day by then). And then there was the time in middle school at home when he caught me copying answers instead of doing my homework relying on myself seriously, he domesticated me so hard he slapped me that made me lose my mind at the time. There were also one time I don't remember if it was in primary school or middle school, they two my parents whipped me with belts and forced me to kneel, and so that I told them at the time as a result I hated that I am not an orphan, I should better be. As I type these words, there are tears in my eyes. I probably have mental issues because of them. [I'm a woman maybe need therapy, but I'll honestly tell you, if I see therapy, it would be a big thing in China, hard to get a job like civil servant https://zh.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%85%AC%E5%8B%99%E5%93%A1 or other decent jobs, important exams
Believe me, what I say is 100% true, cuz if see some Psychologist or psychotherapy that will be in record documents, and will be regarded as abnormal or person with mental disorder
There must be many people in China with mental health problems, but we can't even see the doctor, cuz if we do, we may even can't enter some good schools
since we born, our life is full of competition and fighting
And parents, spoil us or treat us whatever very toxicly, traditional Asian especially Chinese parents
Control us)
I'll honestly say one thing, many Chinese women or girls want parents better dead. Because not only were our parents toxic, but even if we were the only daughter, because of the deep-rooted patriarchy here, they despised us.
Yes if one day, I want to be a good person. But I am still actually afraid of men, even I somehow close to men, but I don't want a relationship, not only because I don't want to get laid with man (I mean I am afraid of being forced) but also like something I can't tell, just afraid, many men are awful, like my father, many Chinese men though I don't want relationship with them but we Chinese men and women here are like enemies, and some men (in this term, I'm not saying the men from the homeland) manipulated me or played with my feelings
I mean I don't want to get laid with man anyway. just afraid of being forced during relationship like rape. Maybe you can't imagine, I used to think and said these to some internet Chinese friends, "I think coitus is a disgusting thing, like bestiality, the subjugation or conquer of a man to a woman, and I feel a deep anger about it", (It's a hatred as if I was born with an anger towards coitus. This could be due to the astrology chart of the moment I was born holds Mars square Pluto. For this I had seen a quite astonishingly good but long text in 2017, and I translated it myself https://www.reddit.com/Mathilde_Soliloquy/comments/191mc51/mars_square_pluto/ with the help of DeepL translator.)
and then a man said then the man you have a relationship will find others outside, cuz man can't tolerate it
I argued with my parents just now
My father said "if you're keeping bubbling nonsense, I'll kick you out of house by my legs, and get off to outside better tomorrow". haha reminds me of this Chinese sister's words
My mother said if I keep the phone with me, she won't care about my business anymore, handle all my own living myself, cooking and all. That is, threaten me.
Noo just humiliate me, my father and mother said I am crazy or stimulated by something. Just like when I said I don't want a man, my parents, my relatives, people I met in China especially my neighbors in my childhood would teach me a lesson, saying are you hurt by men, then at that time I may say, why I must feel this way because hurt by man, I just hate the patriarchal society
But also exist the possibility if I don't act like obedient to them
They know full well I'm a giant baby, fragile, depent, and I'm weak now, have no ability except learning, can't live on my own at least by far, thus may think threat me like this will lead me to be obedient
Yeah as I said to that Chinese sister, if what happened to her (A Chinese girl said to me, "I've been through three love disasters. My heart is much stronger than yours. I've also been through being kicked out of my parents' house, at 9pm, crying all over the place by myself looking for a hotel, people on the street are busy with their own, my mom wants to drop me off at my hometown to my grandma, my dad mocked my mom back in case his mom would be dying from angers, there's no place for me in the home. I've been depressed, abandoned, and hurt by men. I'm sober and I don't have a relationship/romanticismic-brain, I've been hurt three times by men. Have you ever been strangled? I have, by an ex-ex-boyfriend, and I've been threatened with nude photos, and if I difmdn't take them, I'd be crazily scolded, and received cold violence."
I replied to her, "If it were me, I'd be so fragile that I'd just die." ) happens to me, I'll fragile to go to death
Crazily, my father broke into my room, lifted the covers, and said, "Hand over your phone," and then he actually went and grabbed it and smashed it on the floor, may even stomped on it with his foot. Then I argued, saying, "My primary school classmate have been playing with his phones all night since primary school, and anyone would keep their phones with them. I must have my phone with me even if I would get hit, is this some kind of electronic doorstop?" He said "These people you're talking about, what are they doing?They're all working" and I said "You can't do this even if I don't work, you two are too psycho (my mom says the one who is psycho and abnormal is me). I'm going to get a job because I can't take your control anymore." After then, I get from my bed and turn on the light to find my phone, then my father said "it's between the dishes (on the dinning table)"
I was wondering my phone can't work when he grabbed it away from me
I'm trembling now, shake my head for it
The coldness of weather, can't be able to compare the sorrow of mine, uuhhh
Uuhh let me mention a stuff, there are places like豫章书院https://zh.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E8%B1%AB%E7%AB%A0%E4%B9%A6%E9%99%A2%E4%BF%AE%E8%BA%AB%E6%95%99%E8%82%B2%E4%B8%93%E4%BF%AE%E5%AD%A6%E6%A0%A1, Yuzhang Academy Self-cultivation Education School, that some places parents send disobedient children for "treatment", such as seclusion or electric shocks, extremely cruel physical punishment, in which the children sometimes have to report each other in order to survive there..., and some of them commit suicide
Though they may don't send me, I believe they must think of these things, Sometimes when they feel I am disobedient they said they'd send me to mental hospitals, though it may not be not out of their hearts but threats
Yeah it's no matter about the age, parents control children till to death. And I believe in places like that, must be many adults, no need to ensure
In this situation, I no longer have the heart to like men, I have to become independent and rely on myself for survival as soon as possible, and I realize how horrible my life is and that if I don't struggle to leave them, I wi surely be forced to go on blind dates and marry man I don't like and I despise
They've, at least my mother wanted me to get married as soon as possible since I was18, wait, even earlier or after entering the university, 17
Parents control children like this is a common thing in China, sigh*
It's not a civilized place anyway
On Dec 30, "Yeah today my father hit the door, by then I was afraid of being slapped or beat up He rapped on the door with his hand while crazily yelling at me So since childhood, when someone gets loud, my mind goes blank Yeah thanks God haven't beat me up recently Already so frightened by them, whenever simply their voices are loud, my frigh even turns to this degree"
When I was about 8, one day my mother picked me up from school by bicycle, and I wiggled my feet, and the ankle of my left foot touched the bicycle chain and was stirred in, at that time I saw blood and white bones but I didn't dare to say anything because I was so afraid of my mother, thanks to a stanger - a grandpa behind us who said that the child's foot was stirred into the bicycle, but my mother always said that there was no such old grandpa and that it was she who couldn't pedal the bicycle and found out that on her own. Then my foot had to be stitched up with a needle a dozen times. But I haven't cried over that, and I didn't shed a single tear when I was 4 when I ran while playing but fell on a large pile of glass, resulting in a scar on my left temple. Having said that I have quite a lot of trauma on my body, I was in a vehicle accident in 2010's or 2011's (damn I can't even remember though I have a good memory I think more likely 2010) January, that resulted in an intracranial fracture and bleeding in my right ear for a week (my parents used to tell me not to talk to people about this lest they think you have a problem with your brain). I'm really terrified of traffic because of this, even standing at a five-way or intersection I get vertigo and feel like I'm going to drown from all the vehicles speeding past me. So not to mention driving a car, I can't even drive and don't want to learn how to drive a battery-operated bike, and I even seem to have gotten a little scar on my leg from a fall I took on a battery-operated bike between summer and fall this year. I can ride a bike at the most, but I haven't ridden one in at least nine years I guess. And when I was around 11 I tripped over a brick because the power went out in the street and I couldn't see the road, and I broke three of my incisors in some degree, how can I put it, I don't have any good teeth, I think it may be due to food safety issues of my country.
iii)
When I was in high school, I guess when I was aroud 15, my father jokingly used a swear word he learned from one of neighbors on me, "当婊子还要牌坊 https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%89%8C%E5%9D%8A Be a prostitute yet still wants to build up a paifang [It is a building erected in feudal society to honour meritorious achievements, success in Imperial examination https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_examination, benevolent gover, as well as loyalty and filial piety, and here it refers to the Paifang of Chastity.]". I am a person still haven't touched any man's hands by far and I didn't do anythinf wrong, then he used this kind of sentence to me. And he then asked me to accept his apology with two hundred RMB, which I had to accept because if I did not he might even get annoyed of shame and lose his temper even beat me up.
So sometimes when people like neighbors from my childhood, persuade me go to marriage (cuz at that time I didn't want), saying your father treat you so nice and you must can find someone like your father, ewwwwww, it's so disgusting, my father is so disgusting, beat me up, inslut me, I don't want man from my homeland at all
And my parents like my mother won't admit it, she said "I've been with your father so many years, he hasn't said any words like to me, how could it happen? That must be your imagination“
Tho I still have conscience in thinking they raised me up
iv) [Labor Law of the People's Republic of China
Chapter 4 Working Hours, Rests, and Leaves
Article 36 The State shall practise a working hour system wherein labourers shall work for no more than eight hours a day and no more than 44 hours a week on the average.
(Actually we work way more than this)
Article 38 The employer shall guarantee that its labourers have at least one day off a week.]
In my home province the minimum hourly wage is divided into four levels,21,20,19,18RMB (at this moment, 1 Euro = 7.77 Chinese Yuan, aka RMB),and in the current province I live it's 24,22,20. I used to have a temporary job in my town that was two days off a month,and my parents said why you can't do it as someone else is doing it,and I remember the hours of that job started at about 7:30am, besides, there was a man in that job who purposely tried to put a hot stamp drop on my legs.
So getting a job in China with two days off on the weekend is kind of considered a luxury, and one of my previous jobs had six days off a month.
And now I don't lay my eyes on jobs without two days off on the weekend.
v) https://weibo.com/1648736703/4955740219901047 Classic manly "let me test you". If it were me, even if I did have to speak German, I'd be practicing to be fluent before I'd have the nerve to say it in public, let alone record a video of it, and this man even sells English lessons. As some people said in the comments section, " There are so many women in China whose talent does not match their position, and even if they are very talented, they can only make a living at the grassroots level, and this phenomenon is rare in men, on the contrary, most of them do not have the talent to match their position. Women in this country have too few opportunities for advancement."
Addition: 天浴 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xiu_Xiu:_The_Sent_Down_Girl
It's just a tiny part of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_Revolution
And not to mention a year well known by western world
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2024.04.22 22:58 dj_james98 All the reasons why Christians think/believe Masturbation is sin/not a sin

I know theirs hundreds of posts on Reddit about this controversial topic providing us with all kinds of answers on whether it is a sinful act or not. While I'm not here to prove, debate or force my thoughts or convictions towards anyone on this issue but I thought it would be interesting to share all the reasons that I've found so far from Christian Reddit posts, YouTube vids, articles, blogs, etc.
Let me know what you guys think of this list; I hope I did my best and completed it all, but if their is anything missing in the list, feel free to share down other reasons. Whether you guys support it or not; it's critical to respect oneself and others' boundaries and preferences, as well as the cultural and historical background of these beliefs. So let's begin.

For Christians who say Masturbation is sin

  1. Lust (sexual desire) (main Reason)
  2. Sexual activity outside of Marriage / Sexual immorality / Disordered act / Your having sex with yourself
  3. If it's done with Pornography, sexual arousal, or sexual fantasy (especially one who's not your spouse),
  4. Sex is for procreation, intimacy, and love only within Marriage (God's Design) and not masturbation (not God's design)
  5. Matt 5:28 (Most used verse to prove Masturbation is wrong & when it involves fantasy/porn)
  6. Self-Gratification / self-pleasure / Gratifying the flesh
  7. Coveting
  8. Selfishness
  9. People feel guilty after it, their conscience is telling them it's wrong
  10. Slavery
  11. Self-idolatry/idolatry
  12. God killed Onan for spilling his seed
  13. Lasciviousness
  14. Unclean: Based from Leviticus 15:16 -18
  15. Evil / Wicked / Demonic practice / carnal minded
  16. You can't touch yourself
  17. Harmful for your body, self-abuse
  18. Burning with passion
  19. Actions that lead to masturbation are sinful; sin (Lust) begins before you masturbate
  20. It doesn't glorify God, it turns us away from God
  21. You can't do it in faith
  22. You are doing it in secret
  23. It's similar to sex, but the way it's done is sinful
  24. 1 Cor 6:18-20 (Using this to say our bodies are temple's of the Holy Spirit) that masturbating violates it

For Christians who say Masturbation is not sin

1). It is a normal & healthy activity for many benefits (main reason)
2). Wet Dreams (If you're not doing it, your body will do it for you when you sleep while having a sexual dream or not) Whether it's you doing it or the body, the results are still the same.
3). Nowhere to be found in scripture weather it's sinful or not; it isn't a sin unless the word of God says so.
4). God forbids only illicit sexual relations (fornication, adultery, bestiality, homosexuality, sex with family members, etc.) not sexual activity or human sexuality in itself. (Homosexuality is debatable)
5). Lust can be a good or bad desire / not defined only as sexual desire / another word for covet, Rom 7:7
6). Helps prevent the sexual temptation of committing actual fornication/adultery
7). Matt 5:28-30 has nothing to do with masturbation, but coveting someone's wife for sexual relations
8). You are not having sex with yourself / it's not sex
9). Good for single folks to satisfy their sexual needs if they don't have a romantic partner.
10). Nowhere it says in scripture that sexual self-touch/pleasure is wrong; part of caring for body: Eph 5:29-31
11). Christians make up false rules & reasons to believe it is sin / a Christian tradition: Col 2:20-23

For Christians who say Masturbation is sin/not a sin both agree that...

  1. Nowhere to be found in scripture weather it's a sinful or not (Others who are against it disagree)
  2. It can be addictive, uncontrollable, so do it with moderation, 1 Cor 6:12
  3. It is fine or may be problematic in marriages
  4. It can interfere with life, work, etc.
  5. Can be done without lust, pornography, sexual arousal, and sexual fantasy (others think that doing it with Pornography, sexual arousal, or sexual fantasy is fine; but it's debatable)
  6. Can be done with Sexual fantasy but only non-real people/cartoons; (others disagree with this)
  7. If their conscience is telling them it's wrong, it's best not to do it.
submitted by dj_james98 to Christianity [link] [comments]


2024.04.16 19:55 Necrolancer96 Summoning Kobolds At Midnight: A Tale of Suburbia & Sorcery. 194

Chapter CXCIV

Duval Estate.

The Captain looked upon his ensemble of forty goblins with dissatisfaction. But what can he expect from goblins, he thought as he stared at the complement of troops. Most had at least enough discipline to remain in formation. But they still slouched and grumbled and moaned as he stood there and sized them all up.

But he had his orders. So he would march and work these scabs until their feet bled in order to make them proper soldiers for the General!
"Atten-tion!"

The group of soldiers immediately stood to attention, as lazy and worthless as they were they knew that there was only so much leeway they got when it came to the orders of the Red Caps. When the officers barked an order they followed it. As they damn well should, he thought as he marched along the front of the force. Clicking his tongue at the state of them all. Most of their uniforms were disheveled and messy. Not at all fit for anyone daring to call themselves soldiers. They'll have to do though. The other troops are on standby or in town under the eye of The Colonel. After the recent attack none of them were taking any chances of being under manned.

"Listen up you lot of pus-filled boils! We have our orders and I expect you all to follow them to the letter! We are to march upon the stone quarry and see what has happened to those flea-bitten mongrels! We don't know if they're just sitting around with their thumbs up their asses or if they came under attack! But no matter what it is, you WILL march until your feet bleed! And if I see any one of you slacking or groaning more than usual I'll throw you in a pond until one of your spawn has the brains to follow orders! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

The soldiers grumbled and saluted. Good enough, he thought with a sigh and barked out a command to move out. He led them from the front as all leaders should while the troops formed three abreast behind him with a train of dragues trailing behind with supplies. While it wasn't particularly far given how much clearer the woods now were, it would still take some time to arrive there.

But march on they did. The Captain turning an eye back towards his troops to make sure none of them sluffed off. Every time he did he would catch some of them quickly returning to their marching stance as they tried to keep his ire off of them from whatever asinine thing they were doing. Either picking their noses, eating something nearby, or trying to hamper each other in some way, he thought. Miserable pond scum.

Despite the forced march they arrived some yards away from where the quarry was. His troops were tired and grumbled, more than usual anyway. He cracked his club over the head of a couple in order to rouse the goblins from their grumbling. Things were quiet as they neared. No sounds of work and labor, no signs of combat either though. He called a halt as they got closer to the freshly started quarry as he spotted bits of purple further ahead. The enemy, The Captain thought with grim resolution. He turned to the troops and drew his sabre.
"Alright you lot! CHARGE!!!"

As tired and worthless as the goblins were, the prospect of a fight with supposedly superior numbers was enough to put some fire in their veins and drive them into attacking their foe! The Captain roared and charged after the group as musket fire rang out as the goblins got closer, some were actually aiming while others were just firing for show. He'll have to remember which were which so he could properly punish those that would dare waste ammunition!

He yelled as he came into the clearing filled with rocks where his enemy was, he slashed his sabre across the back of one foe and was immediately dazed when the blade pounced off! He rushed to reaffirm his footing and made for another strike when he paused, which was a bad thing to do in a fight, and saw that his foe wasn't moving to retaliate. Or move at all. He turned and looked around and found several others in purple robes that were busy being attacked by the goblins only for them to not react in the slightest.

Even the goblins themselves were confused after a moment when it became obvious that they weren't fighting back. The Captain stalked forwards slowly in case it was a trap and pulled the hood off of his supposed foe and stepped back when the stony visage was revealed to him!
"What the hell?!"

He turned to the other robed figures as the goblins pushed and cast them down, shattering the remains of the statues. It was when he paid more attention to the "rocks" around them that he realized that they weren't rocks but what appeared to be the calcified remains of his enemies as well as dragues, that stood with terrified expressions on their faces.

Some were solid stone while others looked to be weeping blood from their eyes, ears, mouths, and noses. After pushing some of these bloodier statues over it revealed that they were only partially petrified and shattered in a mess of bloody stone and gore.

"What the hell happened here?!" The Captain asked in a harsh tone as he looked around for the culprit of such a cruel fate.

But if there was an enemy that did this they didn't show themselves to him or his troops. None of the calcified figures also made no move to inform him of their fate. Since if was both their forces and the robed figures and their bestial companions he figured it was some kind of third party. But why and how, he thought as he and his troops spread out in search of clues or survivors. There wasn't any sign of the small force meant to protect the dragues while they worked either. Just where did they all go, he thought grimly.

"Captain!" One of the goblins called out and pointed to an opening near the hill where stood the majority of the statuesque dragues.

Some of their faces were etched with fear and terror, but since they were dragues they always seemed to have such looks on their faces. But some looked like they didn't even know what happened to them as they gazed ahead towards the dark hole without such stricken terror.

He turned to a small handful of goblins.
"Return to the manor and inform the others."

The goblins saluted and hurried off while the rest of them remained. He wasn't going to make the same mistake the others made and make sure this information reaches the General. He turned around towards the dark hole and urged some of his troops forward. The rest would await above as reinforcements if need be. If whatever caused this was in there they would chase after it and end its threat to them!

He produced a flashlight and shined it down the tunnel that formed just after the opening. It was deep. Deeper than it should've been with how little time the quarry's been around, he thought as he and his troops marched deeper and deeper. As they went along he started to notice a strange scent in the air. A reptilian smell. He wasn't sure if it was because of how deep they were, but he noted that it had a strong earthy scent to it as well.

Then he heard a deep guttural hissing from somewhere. He turned the flashlight in the direction as his troops formed up into battle lines. But everywhere he turned his light all he found was more stone and dirt. The deep hissing sounded like grinding stone. But he knew not where it came from as his light failed to illuminate the threat around them.

"Show yourselves beasts!" He called out into the darkness.

Then the stones moved. His light raced to the movement as some kind of stony lizard rose from its hiding space and glared at them with four glassy eyes. He raised his arms at the enemy and ordered his men to attack and rushed to meet his foe in combat. But was hampered by the fact his troops didn't move to engage. He looked down and found that most of them were solid stone! Some leaked blood from their orifices'. But all that mattered was his troops were now gone! He turned and glared at the stony lizard and knocked his calcified troops out the way and rushed forwards with a battle cry!

But each step was like walking in mud. But the worst part was the feeling he felt on his skin as the glassy eyed beast continued to hiss at him while returning his glare. He could feel his skin calcifying! He wasn't sure if he couldn't move his legs because of the agonizing pain or because they had solidified as well.

But The Captain didn't have much time to ponder which it was as his vision quickly faded as the agonizing process continued in his face, his throat began to seize as taking a breath got more and more difficult, and his eyes felt like stone was being forced into them! He couldn't even call out for help or reinforcements. His voice was nothing more than a pitiful gasp as his body was being trapped within itself by whatever this foul beast was doing to him!

The last thing he saw was several more of the lizards rising from their hiding spots and making their way towards him and his troops. The last thing he heard was sounds of stone breaking and gore being mashed as they ate upon the calcified remains. The last thing he felt was a dulled sense of gravity as he was knocked over before he left this world.

-----

Red Cap Garrison.

Watching the National Guard respond to the fighting at the trainyard was quite... sobering, The Colonel thought as he made his way up to his quarters. He knew that they were outmatched and lagging in terms of armaments', but to actually watch as their weapons tore through enemies with such ease really sold just how little numbers counted for against them.

If they had any hope of even going toe to toe with a modern enemy, they would need to modernize FAST! It was with great relief for The Colonel that he was able to start cooperation with the National Guard before they became their enemy. He looked over at his issued musket and to the pepperbox pistol that all Red Caps had and scoffed. Compared to what the National Guard were using they may as well be using rocks and sticks as weapons, he thought as he sat aside the more cumbersome aspects of his uniform.

Some five Red Cap officers, himself included, were given the privilege of assisting with the National Guards' efforts that day while the rest remained to keep a firm grip on their troops and continue their training of the trogs. He wasn't surprised that the goblin grunts or even the trogs were left behind given their poor discipline and unsightly appearances. Even with training the grunts were barely passable as above-average goblins. More disciplined? Yes. But they were still goblins and were prone to the bouts of conflict within their ranks despite the Red Caps' best efforts of making them a proper army.

But they could only improve them so much, he thought as he sighed and poured himself a drink to chase away the day's stresses and burdens. Numbers wasn't going to be a strength. It would just delay the inevitable. If they truly wanted to be respected they would need to rely less on throwing bodies at their enemy and more on weapons and tactics.

While they did journey to the battles, more skirmishes really given how brief the fighting was once the National Guard arrived, most of the fighting was over before the Red Caps could even properly engage! They managed to fire their muskets once the entire encounter and even then they were practically shooting at corpses by the time they set their sights on a target.

Still, while they didn't really participate in the fighting, it was still enlightening to watch and he was actually looking forwards to what training and gear he could get for him and the other Red Caps. He was interrupted from his musings as a knock came from the door.

"What?!" He barked, not really in the mood to entertain anyone at the moment.

"Oh, well if that's how it's goin' to be I'll just leave." He heard the voice of Molly through the door.

"Wait?!" He called out and hurried to get presentable.

He threw on all the cumbersome accessories as fast as he could and took a moment to adjust them into a fitting position that was befitting a lady being received. He wasn't happy with the end result, he still looked worn and tired. But at least he wasn't going to appear like a bum!
"Enter!"

Molly opened the door and entered the office. She had a smug smirk on her face as she took in his appearance for a long moment before turning her eyes towards his quarters.
"Nice place."

"It will do. I am sorry it is not in a better state to entertain you." He sincerely apologized. If he had known she was coming he would've made more of an effort to at least straighten things out. What she must think to see his quarters in such a state.

"Hey, it's better than my place! This is spartan compared to my ordered mess of a home." Molly quipped as she came closer to The Colonel.

"Still. It isn't fitting. You should be received in someplace other than a sparsely furnished soldiers garrison." He countered embarrassingly.

"Hey, it's better than a bar. Or your mom's basement." Molly said with a snicker.

"While I wouldn't mind taking you out for a drink, it would be someplace with good spirits. And you don't have to worry about seeing my mother."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Molly said sadly.

"Hmm? What for?"

"Oh, it's just I thought with the way you said that-"

"Oh! No, I don't have a mother." The Colonel replied.

"Are you adopted then?" Molly asked curiously.

"You could say that I suppose. But my conception wasn't exactly you would call 'normal'."

"So like a test-tube baby?" Molly asked.

"In a similar sort of sense I wager." The Colonel said hesitantly, while he wasn't a goblin anymore, that didn't mean he was eager to share that he used to be the same as those worthless grubs either.

"Sounds like an interestin' story. One that can be told over dinner." She declared.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can arrange something prepared, but I doubt it will be appropriate for a lady such as yourself."

"No, what I mean is I'M invitin' YOU to come to my place for dinner!" She said with a laugh.

"Oh? Oh! Are you sure? I wouldn't want it to seem like I'm rushing things." The Colonel said nervously.

"It's fine. At the rate we're goin' though, we won't be hitched till we're old and gray." She replied.

"Hitched?" The Colonel asked.

"Married."

"Oh." The Colonel stated simply as a blush formed on his tanned face.

Causing Molly to giggle.
"Don't worry! I'll wine and dine you before droppin' the question."

The Colonel stumbled over his words as he processed what she just said. Causing her to laugh some more.
"Come on! You're off after all that excitement over at the trainyard aren't you?"

"Well, yes. I suppose I am." He said. Though he still had much to do around the garrison. Training, drilling, planning for more cooperation between them and the National Guard. But all that could wait an evening, he thought.

"Super! Come on!" She exclaimed as she grabbed his rough hand and dragged him out of his quarters.

She laughed and giggled as he was dragged down the stairs and out the door of the garrison. His troops barely giving him more than a look before his officers barked to keep their attention. He'll have to discipline them when he returns otherwise they wont take him seriously again, he thought as Molly eventually grew tired of dragging him away and they fell into a semi hurried walk over to the pawnshop stairs that led up to her home.

She greeted the guards that were stationed around her shop and The Colonel noted approvingly their attitudes and form as they stood guard. But he couldn't approve long before Molly pulled him up the stairs and unlocked her door before dragging him inside.

It... really was a mess, he thought as he looked around the brick and mortar upper floor of the pawnshop. He wasn't sure what was clutter and what was furniture among it all. Papers were in piles next to old boxes of food and piles of clothes were thrown into a corner that he wasn't sure meant if they were clean or dirty.

She had an embarrassed look on her face when she turned towards him.
"Sorry. I might've gotten a bit excited to invite you to dinner to clean up a bit."

"It's fine. You seem just as busy as I am." He remarked as he pulled off his cap and sat it on a pile of books by the door.

"A few months ago maybe. Lately I've spent more time trying to get a hold of some buyers to sell off some of the coins that people keep coming in with!"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Which wouldn't be a problem really, most of them are solid metal and seem pretty pure from what I can tell which means they'll fetch a pretty penny. Some of what they're tryin' to hawk though are clothes or knick-knacks that I MIGHT be able to sell but I won't know that until I can get a damn signal through! At this point it'd be better just to make a trip out of town!"

"Well, if you desire some company-"

"I would LOVE for you to come with me! Even if it is just to Charleston and back." Molly smiled at The Colonel.

"I would enjoy it as well." He smiled in return.

"Oh! The food!" She said and rushed over to a stove with a boiling pot on top.

"Do you need assistance?"

"No! I just might've turned it up a bit too high before I left is all!" She replied before tasting a little bit of the stew inside before sighing in relief.

"It's still good!" She remarked and gestured for him to sit down.

He pulled Molly away from the stove and pulled her chair out and gestured for her to sit down instead.
"You already cooked. I'll serve."

She smiled as she pointed to a cupboard where the bowls were and dished both himself and Molly some of the meaty tomato stew before returning to about the only clean thing in the place. They smiled at one another before digging into the soup.
"This is delicious! Did you make it yourself?"

Molly looked sheepish and stammered a bit.
"Uh, yup! A genuine homecooked meal!"

If it was homecooked why did she seemed so ashamed, he thought but shrugged and continued to eat the soup. It was quite good, though it had an off taste to it but he couldn't quite place. But he was a guest and a gentleman and it was obvious that she put alot of effort into doing this. The least he could do was enjoy the quiet evening meal with her.

So they did. Small talk was minimal as it seemed they were both sat and enjoyed one another's company and the meal. But eventually the stew came to an end and they both sat there in warm silence as they let their food settle. But eventually that grew into awkwardness as neither seemed sure what to do next.

"Do you wanna do somethin'?" She asked nervously.

"What do you suggest?" He asked.

"Well... I was thinkin' that since this is our what, fourth, fifth date. If you would like to MAYBE want to spend the night?" She asked with increasing nerves as she fidgeted.

The Colonel just stared at her. Was she suggesting what he thought she was? He stammered and blushed and seemed to find great interest in the tarnished antique silverware. He continued to stammer and blabber as he couldn't quite come up with the words to properly express what he was feeling right now. Then again, he wasn't entirely sure WHAT he was feeling right now! It was a mix of embarrassment, excitement, and nervousness.

Eventually he managed to force forth an answer.
"Uhm... yes?"

She perked up and smiled before getting out of her seat and coming over and kissing him on the lips. They parted far sooner than he wanted to. He gazed at her as she looked back into his eyes.
"Wait here a moment so I can get ready."

With that she left him alone as she moved to her bedroom. He could hear her saying and cheering something from the other side of the door but he couldn't quite pick up on it unless he wanted to eavesdrop on her. But a gentleman doesn't lurk. So instead he sat in his seat and looked around as he heard Molly shifting and moving stuff in her room while he waited.

He glanced around and saw that alot of the "clutter" was old antiques. Some of them looked older than the stuff Morty had in the manor if the wear and tear on some of it was anything to go by! She had a little bit of everything on the brick walls of her room. Some stuff he hadn't seen before. Some he knew vaguely from his reading of some of the books in Morty's library.

African tribal masks, native warclubs, Asian tea sets are just some of the collection he saw that he was partially familiar with along with modern amenities like a stereo and TV set. He turned towards the kitchen and was about to clean up while Molly was away when he spotted some partially covered cans and boxes nearby.

Hamburger Helper and Tomato Soup were printed on the boxes and cans respectively. Well... she did say it was homecooked, he thought just before he heard Molly calling from the other side of the door to her room.
"I'm ready!"

He hoped he was, he thought nervously as he pressed his uniform of wrinkles. He took a deep breath and sighed before getting up and making his way to the door. While he wasn't entirely familiar with more modern methods of courtship, he knew enough to know that usually asking someone to spend the night was another way to ask one to sleep together in the intimate sense. But he didn't want to presume and so remained in his officer's attire just to be sure.

He knocked and held his breath. Molly called from the other side.
"Come in!"

He grasped the handle with sweaty hands and continued to hold his breath as he pushed open the door and stepped inside, where his breath was taken away by the sight before him. She sat at the end of her bed dressed in nothing more than a seductive red garter belt and matching stockings. She had done up her hair and appeared sensual as she sat there.

He did note that she appeared sweaty and out of breath, though he wasn't aware that, while it was partly because of the situation, it was mostly a result of her hurried attempt to clean up her room and get dressed. She peered at him with a flirty smile.
"So? What do you think?"

The Colonel stammered as he stared at her. He knew what to think. But saying it was alot harder. She smiled happily and giggled before sauntering over to him. She ran a hand over his chest and leaned over and whispered into his ear.
"Why don't I help you out of your uniform, then you can help me out of mine."

To hell with words, The Colonel thought as he pressed Molly into a deep and passionate kiss.

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2024.03.31 18:17 Blackwood63 Necesito ayuda para comprender... creo que sufrí viola****

Se que el título es raro pero de verdad necesito ayuda para comprender que paso. Llevo desde febrero intentando entender que paso, como paso, por que paso....
Os contaré mi historia de la mejor manera posible, siento que sea muy largo pero ojalá alguien pueda darme un poco de luz.
Cuando piensas en viola*** pienso en algo agresivo y en contra de la voluntad. Lo mío no fue consensuado, sentí miedo, náuseas y quería llorar. Si bien eso califica no se si el resto lo hace por eso no se si entraría dentro de viola***.
A principios de febrero quedé para hacer noche de cine con un amigo (nunca tube nada con el ni mucho menos eramos amigos y ya) hicimos comida y vimos anime. Tras estar 4 horas cocinando viendo series empecé a notar que cuando me daba mimos a veces no era en lugares correctos, pero lo atribui a que era alto y simplemente sus brazos llegaban ahí.
Soy autista así que las indirectas no son mi fuerte y muchas veces ni las directas. Es bastante difícil para mí incluso saber cunado bromean y cuando no.
Siguiendo con la historia estábamos sentado juntos y yo le acariciaba el pelo a modo de mimos todo platónico en mi opinión y el me tocaba la pierna lo cual me daba igual a veces subía más arriba pero no le di importancia. Después me dijo que me tumbada con el porque quería abrazarme a lo que tampoco le di importancia. Había hecho eso mismo con muchos amigos antes y no había pasado nada así.
Después de bastante raro note que me tocaba el pecho, a lo que yo quitaba su mano e incluso le di un mordisco para que no volviera a molestar. Se que lo repito mucho pero no le di importancia porque para mí era un amigo. Al raro me empecé a acunar porque soy autista y eso me ayuda a regularme. Digamos que eran las 2 y picó de la mañana cuando sucedió.
Empezó a besarme el cuello y me bloquee, algo se apago y me quedé insensible. A día de hoy me pregunto porque no le golpee, o le grite o hice algo... sigo sin saberlo quizás fue una respuesta natural... no lo se. Perdón por desvariar seguiré contando.
Después el estaba encima de mi e intento meterla, dolía y le pedí que me estirase... no me hizo caso y me ignoro se lo pedí 3 veces pero no hubo reacción más allá de intentar meterla. Al final me tube que estirar yo, en ese momento quería evitar que doliese, pero aún así dolio. Le pedí que se pusiera el condonar varias veces pero no lo hizo y tampoco me dejó ir a buscar uno, estaba atrapado ahí con un tío que no parecía escucharme. Simplemente cerré los ojos y espere durante más de 40 min a que terminase.
Solo puedo decir que fueron 40 min interminables me dolía muchísimo y el pensaba que mis gemidos eran de placer o eso creo... quería llorar, tenía unas náuseas bestiales y sentía que algo se estaba muriendo dentro de mi. La verdad es que todo ese lapso parece un borrón de cierta forma. Hubo un momento en el que pareció volver en si y me dijo que estaba cansado a lo que le respondí que entonces parase.
Por suerte cuando le pregunté si se corrió dijo que no pero no se me ha pegado algo, mañana iré ha pedir a mi médica un examen de ETS y le contaré todo.
Pero siento que necesito que alguien más me diga que paso.
Continuando con la historia después de que parase le dije que se duchar porque estaba toso sudado y aproveche ese momento para mandar mensajes a mis dos amigas intentando explicar la situación y que me ayudarán a entender que paso o al menos que me ayudasen a procesarlo.
Cuando el salió del baño me metí a ducharme y lo que vi en el espejo me partió el alma. Mi rostro ciertamente estaba desfigurado del dolor y se notaba que quería llorar, era la primera vez que me veía tan roto. La ducha me ayudo a sentirme mejor en cierta medida pero no pudo borrar el dolor que reflejaba mi rostro.
Cuando me pidió que me tumbara con el a dormir le di largas lo mejor que pude y después me puse a limpiar todo. Me fui a mi cuarto y me dormí al rededor de las 10 de la mañana o así. Me sentía enfermo y lo atribui al empacho de la comida.
El me despertó sobre la 13 para irse, cuando me abrazo casi vómito su olor me provocaba náuseas.
Ahora necesito que respondan a mi duda porque yo no puedo entender que paso? Por que? Y sobre todo esto realmente fue una viola***?
Gracias por leer y agradecería sus comentarios, necesito que alguien me ayude.
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2024.03.25 14:55 Revolutionary_Key325 Fangs for Your Patience

Good Evening!
Some guidance on flairs:
“OTHER VAMPIRES Movies/TV” is for movies, and TV shows that don’t fit under any of the other flairs. For example, the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, as well as a Buffy board game, and the comics would go under “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” flair, but Fright Night anything would go under “OTHER VAMPIRE Movies/TV”. “Other Vampire Books/Games” is the same thing for any literature or games that don’t fall under one of the other flairs.
“Gen. Vampire Discussion” is for questions and discussions about vampire lore in general, that doesn’t fall under a particular franchise.
“OTHER VTM” flair is for books, shows, games, etc. That are about the Vampire the Masquerade series but are not the tabletop game/books, Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines 2004 pc game, or the upcoming sequel Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines 2. VTM Bloodhunt, Coteries of New York, or the Walk Among Us short stories would all go under “OTHER VTM”.
All cosplay that is specifically about cosplay goes under the “Vampire Cosplay” flair. You will notice that I put LA by Night episode one in the “VTM Tabletop/Books” flair, this is because that is about them playing the tabletop game and the cosplay is incidental to that. This is regardless of what franchise you are posting about. Cosplay about Vampire Diaries, Anne Rice’s Vampires, VTM vampires, etc. will all go under “Vampire Cosplay” just make sure you are decent (no naughty bits showing, you know the things I’m talking about) and that you put the name of the character and the franchise in the title. I have 300 characters in the title to allow room. That being said, I have cross posted several cosplay from other communities, and YouTube, and although I have tried to put the character and franchise in the body, it doesn’t seem to show. But please do this for yours. Thank you.
“Real” Vampires” flair is for cases of vampires that supposedly existed in real life. For example, Mercy Brown in Exeter, Rhode Island in 1892.
Please be careful to select the right flair as that will help people navigate better.
“Vampire Fanfic/Stories” Flair will be for all fiction written by members. If it is about a particular franchise, please notate it in the post title. If it is an original story put that in the title. It can also be used for vampire creepypastas or stories by other independent writers such as a YouTube story you like. Not for stories by professional authors.
Definition of violence: the unlawful exercise of physical force or intimidation by the exhibition of such force. behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.
All sexual content must be 18+, consensual, and not involve bestiality. All violence and sexual content must be marked NSFW
4/9/24 I have added “self promotion” flair. This is to be used only on posts in which you are specifically talking about selling your work or promoting your services. If you just say, “ I drew this/I wrote this” and you are NOT offering to draw, write, sell etc. foto someone, then you can simply put your art under “vampire art” or “vampire fanfic” but if you are specifically saying that you can draw this for someone, or you are selling this, or that you would like to do anything in return for monetary gain or promotion, you put it under “self promotion” flair. Please only use once a week/once every seven days.
submitted by Revolutionary_Key325 to CoffinbaitClub [link] [comments]


2024.03.24 23:46 EclosionK2 I Might Be Recording My Own Death [Part 3]

I - II - III - IV - V
I jumped away and ran to the opposite wall. I couldn’t control my screams.
It was like my lungs and vocal chords were on autopilot. Fear paralyzed me against the cabin. I couldn’t move anything beside my eyes, which I shut. I didn’t dare look back at what I just saw.
Two minutes of hyperventilating brought no relief however. So I stumbled my way into the corner of the cabin filled with countertops—an area that must have been used as a sort of kitchen, and sank to the floor where I hid behind a cabinet door.
I brought my phone light and peeked out at the body. It was him. Oh my god. It was Konrad, laying in a tangled mess. Not moving. Not breathing. Completely lifeless.
I sat there listening to the silence, trying to gather my thoughts and make sense of this. What on earth is happening?
As if in response, the walkie on Konrad’s hip blared with static. It caused me to jump and hit my head on a cabinet’s edge above.
The noise of the wind outside exploded out the tiny speaker. It was surging wildly. And in the background of the fuzzy storm I could hear voices chanting something. Several of them.
It was the film crew outside, they were reciting something on repeat. Their voices were low, measured, and although I couldn’t make out any of the Polish phrases, there was one word I did recognize. My name.
They were chanting ‘Anna’ over and over again. “Anna. Annna. Annnnnnn—”
Hell no.
Whatever this was. It had to stop. Although I was in the midst of a panic attack, and shuddering erratically, I forced myself to hobble forward, past an upturned cooler, and past a broken chair, until I reached Kon’s body. I cannot tolerate a cult chanting my name through a fucking radio.
I clawed at his waist, looking for the walkie. I quickly found it, seized the dial, and turned that shit right off. The sound cut out.
Thank god.
All I could hear was the faint wailing of wind outside the cabin. And some miniscule, tinny sound coming from the headphones on Konrad’s head. Wait what?
I looked at the Zoom recorder lying by his side. I didn’t notice before, but I could see the device was still on, and it was still connected to the boom lying on his chest.
Each second by the body brought me closer to fainting, and the last thing I needed was to pass out. So I closed my eyes, and tried to make out the tinny noise. Unbelievably, I could actually hear Konrad, I could hear his own voice playing into the headphones on his head. Did he record something for me?
Desperate for answers, I pulled the Sennheisers off his head without looking. Then I fumble-yanked the Zoom and boom from his hands and scurried back to my spot in the kitchen corner There was no way I could linger around that corpse.
I gathered myself and wiped what I thought might be blood off the headphones. The foamed ear pads adjusted snugly to my head. I listened close.
It was the woeful whisper of Kon’s own voice. He sounded distant and airy.
Holy hell Kon, When did you record this? I looked at the Zoom’s tiny screen to determine what file was playing. What was the timestamp? Did he tape it while I was changing a few minutes ago? Then I noticed the red light was on the device. Not blinking. Not pulsing. A solid red light.
That meant it was actively recording.
I froze. The boom mic was resting on my lap, pointing lop-sidedly at Kon’s remains. Using minimal movements, I lifted the mic, extended it slightly, and aimed it directly at Kon’s body.
His voice was louder now. Still airy, but much more clear.
I extended the boom further, bit my tongue, and aimed the tip of the mic right at his lying, deceased head. < … Could have stopped it. Could have interfered. And now … Anna? … >
I stopped and stared. It felt like the audio had finished. All I could hear now was faint, gentle hum of the cabin’s room tone
It wasn’t so much that I was saying a word in response. It was more like I was just releasing a sound that got caught in the back of my throat.
“ ... Kon?”


I stayed standing for a while, not saying anything, just testing my own sense of reality.
Goosebumps had rippled across my entire back and traveled down my arms and legs. If I hadn’t just been wind-hurled inside of a dark cabin by a group of filmmaker-cultists currently chanting outside, I might have been a little more skeptical of the situation. Instead I took a big breath and forced myself to ask the obvious.
“Kon … are you … dead?”
His body wasn’t moving. In the weak light of my phone, I could see the fresh, ruby-colored blood glinting off his neck.

It sounded like him, like he was in the space with me. Except even though I was pointing the mic right at his dead mouth, I sensed I was only picking up an echo, as if Kon was somewhere else.

Instinctually, I twisted the boom and pointed the mic up, aiming where I thought Kon’s head might be if he was standing upright.

The voice was pristine and clear. As if he was standing five feet above his own body. Except it was completely empty space.
“Holy shit.”

“No. Not at all. How is this possible? How are you talking?”
I could hear him shift in the air and take a breath. I could literally hear him breathing, but I was still pointing up at nothing. Just stale cabin air.

“What?”

A dark weight descended onto my back. A spike of hopelessness. It’s like I’ve just been faced with something impossible.
“A czar—?”
<—Like a Polish warlock>
“What do you mean?”

I brought myself to sit down on one of the coolers and readjusted my grip on the boom pole. I could hear Kon’s voice drifting slightly. His breath was moving.
The breathing soon turned to sniveling, It sounded like he was fighting back tears. I stayed silent and did my best to track the invisible voice.

“What is Olek trying to do?”
I followed his anguish to a small bench lined up against the wall. I got the sense he was trying to sit down.

“Do what?”
Crying. The fleshy, wet sounds of wiping up a nose and eyes. I didn’t know whether this was truly the same Kon I knew before, or if his new form was more emotional.

I took a big swallow, and glanced down at his limp body. His arms were still curled in an awkward jumble.
“What’s ‘in here’ mean? What is supposed to happen?”

Another dark weight. My gut didn’t want to know anything more, but of course I had to know more.
“What are you talking about? Get who to possess me?”

It was now officially becoming too much. Although I was freezing in this thin, ragged dress, I forced myself to stay still. “The … folklore lady?”

“The tree?” My throat became tight. I momentarily choked. “You mean they were actually trying to … ”

My whole chest tensed up. So they were trying to exploit me. I wasn’t being paranoid. My worries were all valid the moment I got here. I had been lied to by Kon the entire time.

My grip on the boom tightened, I lowered it a little to accommodate for my shaking. Despite the torrent of fear still coursing out all ends of me, anger was now flaring too.

I glanced again at Konrad's body. At his curled hands, at the limp uselessness of them.
This was a person who was now truly, irrevocably gone from the world.
Did someone dead deserve anger?
My mic picked up Kon’s exhale, he let out a laugh. He laughed again, clapping ghostly hands together somewhere.
It became clear to me that whatever Konrad had become—it was something far more untethered. His voice started drifting further away.

I tracked the voice again, from more of a distance this time. I felt like I could lose Konrad—for a second time—I could lose him to some kind of unknown madness. Like every moment away from life was making him more erratic.
The laughter transitioned back to sobbing.
It felt imperative to ask him more questions. To distract him. To ground him. As much for his sake as my own. “Why? Why did they kill you?”

His voice hovered back over his corpse. Even though it looked like there was no one in this cabin but me. I could feel his presence there. I could feel his eyes on me.

The sobbing returned, stronger now than at any other point. I lowered my mic, following where I thought his spectral ‘head’ must be. He was only a foot above his corpse, which meant he was now stewing over his own dead body. I tried not to look at it.

Good. Okay. Something actionable. “So how do I get out of this?” I pointed at the entrance where we were both tossed in from. “Do I just need to push past the wind blocking that door?”

“What do you mean?”

“A spell?”

I stood up shakily and gestured at the ladder in the corner. “What if I climbed up to the second floor? Broke through one of the windows or—?”
<—You will not be able to.>
My breathing grew shallower.

I stared defeatedly at the spot where Kon was talking from. Then I stared beyond him at the far wall, where I could still faintly hear the wind blowing against the boarded up windows. And then I imagined the crew beyond that, chanting some godless invocations designed to end my life…
“So how exactly is this wraith supposed to reach me?”
There was a nasally exhale right above the corpse’s waist.
My feet froze. I aimed my light in every corner of the room, looking for the wraith. “And how close is she?”

I ran over and tried pulling at the boarded windows, but it was true, they were immovable. There was something unnatural holding them in place.
Then I tried my hand at breaking through a tiny circular window above the small bed. Impenetrable. “Why does this even have to happen? Why can't they let me go?!”

“But … Why?”

“ ... More takes?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That couldn’t have been right. “That's what this is all about? Finishing this dumb movie?”

It was so stupid it was outrageous.
“What the fuck? Is this a joke? Does Olek think killing people is going to make him the next Spielberg?”
Kon said nothing.
“I refuse to be a part of this, he doesn’t have my permission! I never signed any contract!”
Kon laughed again < ... I wish it was that easy. But now that you mention it. There might be something we can do … >
“What?”
His voice drifted, circling around his remains.
Without even seeing him, I knew he was gesturing at me. At my dress. I touched the linen on the neck seam

I held onto the neckline, unmoving. “Take it off?”

Not a guarantee? I played with removing my arm through one of the sleeves. Was Konrad actually serious about this? Or was he just …
<—I’m not trying to watch you strip. I don’t care. I’m literally dead. I’m trying to save your life.>
The wind outside rattled the house. The wood on the door groaned. Was that her getting closer?
“Okay, okay, fine.” I grabbed the bottom of the skirt and lifted it over my head. The chill was fierce. I crossed my arms tight.

I threw the dress into a corner of the cabin, and distanced myself. “What?”

Kon’s former body wore an insulated work jacket with fleece hood. It looked warm, but there was no way I was going to lean over and disrobe his corpse.

I felt like smacking him with the boom. “So what then? After I put your jacket on—I’m supposed to squeeze myself into a cooler? Play hide and seek?”

I hugged myself tighter, wrapping my arms around the boom. Why wasn’t there some old tablecloth or blanket in this stupid cabin? Did all the cloth decompose?
“Sorry Kon, I don’t want to touch your dead body. No offense”

So I did. I tried hiding in a couple of the coolers strewn about, but they were all too tight to squeeze into. I tried going into the attic upstairs, but the second I put my foot on the ladder, it collapsed. The wood was completely black with mold.
Eventually the best spot (or only viable one) was inside one of the cabinets in the northern corner. I could fit inside. But it was cold. So cold.

Each passing minute, it felt like the air grew more icy. Kon said it was likely to do with the wraith approaching. Even if I did hide successfully, at this rate, I was risking hypothermia.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. An undershirt and jeans were not enough for this temperature.
I set the phone light and boom on a nearby cooler and slinked over to the body, carefully keeping the gore out of sight.
I grabbed beneath the body’s armpits, and heaved it into a sitting position. From there I unzipped the jacket and pulled at both of the sleeves.
The coppery smell was very strong, so I did my best to hold my breath. A couple times I caught a glimpse of dangling flesh around the neck.
He’s just asleep. It's only makeup. He’s just asleep.
After an annoying tug-of-war, I finally managed to slip the whole jacket off, which plopped the head right into my line of vision.
I stared right through the neck hole, at an exposed brown tube that must’ve been a shredded esophagus or trachea.
Nausea struck. My vision blurred.

CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK.
I woke up in a daze. My phone light was still up, illuminating a gust of leaves swirling around the darkness.
There was a chair in the corner of the cabin, rocking on its own. Banging against a wall.
A loose rock went sailing through the air. I rolled before it could dent my head. There were several twigs, papers and other objects flying through the air in a haphazard fashion, being drawn to the chair.
I grabbed my boom off the floor and searched for Konrad. Aiming my microphone at his body. When had it been turned face down?
I couldn’t hear anything.
I adjusted my headphones and aimed the boom at the bench where Kon had sat earlier.
Nothing.
Then I aimed it at the rattling chair in the corner of the room.

The headphones practically flew off my head, I fell over, and backed away,
The chair was squeaking across the floor, and I could now see how It looked like Kon was trying to pin another entity to it. They were two invisible forces, grappling each other.
I stumbled across the dress I threw to the floor. I scrunched it up, and prepared to toss it somewhere. But did it even matter? The wraith could obviously sense me now, right?
Decision paralysis.
What could I do? These were the last couple moments of my life. Any second Kon would lose, and then I would be overtaken by a ghost woman and be ousted from my own body.
I would die from it, wouldn’t I? Or would I be a prisoner in my own body? A subject for whatever wickedness Olek had in store? He would force me to wear the dress again. Force me to wander the woods. Force me to keep acting in this godforsaken film.
I threw the dress on Kon’s body, instinctually trying to cover it. And then I realized something.
The wraith’s here looking for a body, isn’t she?
I bolted over to the corpse, thwarting all my inhibitions. Forcibly, I stretched the dress over the body’s head, pulling the fabric of the skirt over its scalp, all the way down to the waist. Thankfully it was lying face down.
I fed the arms through the sleeves and made sure its head popped through the neckline. The corpse was wearing it backwards, but surely that couldn’t matter.
The linen ripped here and there, and the bloody throat must’ve terribly stained the dress on the other side (I didn’t dare look). But it was on. The dress was on a body.
Then I flung myself away and hid behind the cabin’s single bed.
I placed the headphones back on, made sure everything was still connected. I pointed the mic at the chair.

It was the wraith. There was shuffling. I could hear Kon screaming but I couldn't see anything. The chair was still rocking back and forth.
“ … Kon!?”
The chair collapsed to the ground, shattering to pieces. I braced myself. My teeth clenched. I was still freezing.
Kon’s old body spasmed across the floor, rolling and scraping. One second its hips lifted, then its arms. There was an awful squelching. A sucking sound erupted from the throat.
I turned away, gripped the cot and stared at the cabin wall. She chose the body, not you! She chose the body, not you! You’re going to be okay!
My mic was still aimed at the clamor, I was hoping to hear something from Kon. But I was no longer picking up any voice. Not Kon’s, not hers, not anyone's. Just the thumping of a re-animating cadaver.
It sounded like bones were breaking. Like flesh was twisting.
Eventually the violence died down, turning into slow, soft movements. With immense hesitation, I lifted my gaze away from the wall and looked back.
The figure was standing. Observing me. Ragged hair obscured her entire face.
She had taken control of Kon’s body—which no longer looked like Kon’s body at all. The hips had narrowed. The ribs had tightened. The skin was pale and pristine, no sign of blood anywhere.
She had somehow compressed and reconstructed herself, even the dress looked repaired.
I stood up, held out both my hands. I wanted her to know that I meant no harm. I only wanted to leave.
The silence was horrible. We were standing in a vacuum of sound. All the wind outside had stopped.
Using thin, white fingers, she began to brush her tangle of hair. Not very precisely, and not very purposefully. It was just something she settled on doing.
My heartbeat was in my head. I slid off my headphones and laid down the equipment. I waited to see what she would do. But she only brushed her hair. Lady Midnight’s eyes were shrunken and sad. She didn’t seem to care that I was here.
“Are you … okay?”
I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know what I expected her to say. She simply looked at me with sorrow. Something was troubling her beyond conventional understanding.
Then the door opened, blinding both of us. I peered at the light through my fingers.
There came a cacophony of Polish voices. At first, they sounded concerned, inquisitive, but as they drew closer, I could sense relief. Celebration.
The AD was the first person I recognized. He beelined straight behind the womanwho now, lit by daylight, for all intents and purposes, looked exactly like Polina.
“Mamy ją! Mamy ją!” he said.
Coming in after him was the DP, (wearing a necklace of bones?) he brought out a flashlight and scanned the room, finding me immediately. “Jak to możliwe?”
Some more crew filed in, then quickly filed out. Polina was led out without resistance, keeping her eyes on the ground.
Eventually it was just me standing by the old bed. I still hadn't moved. It's like I had been hollowed out by the experience.
I was in shock.
Was it safe to leave?
It was all happening so fast.

After they all left, time stood still. I stood still. Unmoving
I listened to the voices outside, praying for them to fade. The coast had to be absolutely clear before I would consider leaving because even if I tried to, they would just grab me. Wouldn't they?
I didn't dare risk it.
The cold was relentless. I was now past the point of shivering, and I knew that meant I was in serious trouble, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be caught again.
I would rather stand here alone in this cabin, by this bed, looking at that open door and waiting until all the voices went away.
I would wait for as long as I had to. I would wait until I was absolutely sure.
Then a figure ducked beneath the door's frame.
They were wearing a black trench coat.
It’s Olek.
I grabbed firm hold of the bed I was leaning against and held my breath.
He inspected the cabin with a fake, bemused sort of interest, smiling the whole time.
His hands grazed Kon’s old bloodstain the floor, bringing up a tiny amount and rubbing it between thumb and forefinger. He knew I was in the room, but it was like he was looking everywhere except at me. Glancing instead at the broken chair, and upturned coolers …
He must know I'm here, right? Is he messing with me?
And of course he was, because the next moment his glowing gray eyes turned right to mine, and he took a few steps forward.
“Well, aren’t you clever, amazing Anna. Amazing and clever huh?”
I didn't react. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what he could do.
His toes bumped against my boom pole on the floor. He bent down and brushed the dirt off my sound gear, then picked it all up.
“I'm glad you made better use of Konrad than we could. He was shit at his job.”
The sound equipment was handed to me in a bundle. I held it like a statue. What was I supposed to do?
He circled back to the bloodstain on the floor and picked up Konrad's jacket. He gave it a shake and brushed it off.
“Outside, we now have opportunity for best shot. Greatest shot of all time, actually.”
He approached me again with the calmest air in the world. As if nothing was remotely amiss, as if we had just spent the last couple hours shooting a fun reality show, or kids movie.
The jacket was draped around my shoulders.
“You are wrapped, just like my AD said. You will be taken back to your car.”
His palm pushed against the middle of my back. I slowly marched forward.
“But before you go, you should stay and watch this shot. It is something beautiful. Something bestial. It has never been caught on film.”
Whether I wanted to or not, my legs were now moving on their own. I approached the doorway of the cabin.
“It would be a great honor to have another member for this moment. Another witness. And it would be a great favor, for me, to have a recording operator as well.”
He stopped me right before I left the cabin, snagged the headphones from my hands and plonked them onto my head.
“What do you think amazing Anna? Would you like to do sound—one last time?”
I marched outside into the overcast dusk. There was a small fire to my right, burning strong.
Around the fire was the whole crew, sitting in a very wide circle. They were sitting on their knees in strange postures. Praying.
I found Polina standing by the fire, looking at me with those same sad eyes as before. She knew something I didn't, and she wished she could explain it.
There was something happening here that I didn’t want to know about. Something worse than murder, worse than any crime possible by mortal hands.
Something unholy was about to be thrust upon this small slice of forest. And Olek wanted it recorded.
I started shivering again but I managed to turn on the Zoom recorder. As if I had any other choice.
I turned back to Olek, and meekly lifted my boom.
“Great. You really are amazing, you know that?” He pointed right beside one of the crewmembers. “Let's get you over there.”
His grin was massive. It's the first time I had ever seen him so happy. The biggest smile of the entire day.
“I’ll get the camera. You will see. This is going to be incredible.”
submitted by EclosionK2 to TheCrypticCompendium [link] [comments]


2024.03.24 23:42 EclosionK2 Krew [Part 3]

I - II - III - IV - V
I jumped away and ran to the opposite wall. I couldn’t control my screams.
It was like my lungs and vocal chords were on autopilot. Fear paralyzed me against the cabin. I couldn’t move anything beside my eyes, which I shut. I didn’t dare look back at what I just saw.
Two minutes of hyperventilating brought no relief however. So I stumbled my way into the corner of the cabin filled with countertops—an area that must have been used as a sort of kitchen, and sank to the floor where I hid behind a cabinet door.
I brought my phone light and peeked out at the body. It was him. Oh my god. It was Konrad, laying in a tangled mess. Not moving. Not breathing. Completely lifeless.
I sat there listening to the silence, trying to gather my thoughts and make sense of this. What on earth is happening?
As if in response, the walkie on Konrad’s hip blared with static. It caused me to jump and hit my head on a cabinet’s edge above.
The noise of the wind outside exploded out the tiny speaker. It was surging wildly. And in the background of the fuzzy storm I could hear voices chanting something. Several of them.
It was the film crew outside, they were reciting something on repeat. Their voices were low, measured, and although I couldn’t make out any of the Polish phrases, there was one word I did recognize. My name.
They were chanting ‘Anna’ over and over again. “Anna. Annna. Annnnnnn—”
Hell no.
Whatever this was. It had to stop. Although I was in the midst of a panic attack, and shuddering erratically, I forced myself to hobble forward, past an upturned cooler, and past a broken chair, until I reached Kon’s body. I cannot tolerate a cult chanting my name through a fucking radio.
I clawed at his waist, looking for the walkie. I quickly found it, seized the dial, and turned that shit right off. The sound cut out.
Thank god.
All I could hear was the faint wailing of wind outside the cabin. And some miniscule, tinny sound coming from the headphones on Konrad’s head. Wait what?
I looked at the Zoom recorder lying by his side. I didn’t notice before, but I could see the device was still on, and it was still connected to the boom lying on his chest.
Each second by the body brought me closer to fainting, and the last thing I needed was to pass out. So I closed my eyes, and tried to make out the tinny noise. Unbelievably, I could actually hear Konrad, I could hear his own voice playing into the headphones on his head. Did he record something for me?
Desperate for answers, I pulled the Sennheisers off his head without looking. Then I fumble-yanked the Zoom and boom from his hands and scurried back to my spot in the kitchen corner There was no way I could linger around that corpse.
I gathered myself and wiped what I thought might be blood off the headphones. The foamed ear pads adjusted snugly to my head. I listened close.
It was the woeful whisper of Kon’s own voice. He sounded distant and airy.
Holy hell Kon, When did you record this? I looked at the Zoom’s tiny screen to determine what file was playing. What was the timestamp? Did he tape it while I was changing a few minutes ago? Then I noticed the red light was on the device. Not blinking. Not pulsing. A solid red light.
That meant it was actively recording.
I froze. The boom mic was resting on my lap, pointing lop-sidedly at Kon’s remains. Using minimal movements, I lifted the mic, extended it slightly, and aimed it directly at Kon’s body.
His voice was louder now. Still airy, but much more clear.
I extended the boom further, bit my tongue, and aimed the tip of the mic right at his lying, deceased head. < … Could have stopped it. Could have interfered. And now … Anna? … >
I stopped and stared. It felt like the audio had finished. All I could hear now was faint, gentle hum of the cabin’s room tone
It wasn’t so much that I was saying a word in response. It was more like I was just releasing a sound that got caught in the back of my throat.
“ ... Kon?”


I stayed standing for a while, not saying anything, just testing my own sense of reality.
Goosebumps had rippled across my entire back and traveled down my arms and legs. If I hadn’t just been wind-hurled inside of a dark cabin by a group of filmmaker-cultists currently chanting outside, I might have been a little more skeptical of the situation. Instead I took a big breath and forced myself to ask the obvious.
“Kon … are you … dead?”
His body wasn’t moving. In the weak light of my phone, I could see the fresh, ruby-colored blood glinting off his neck.

It sounded like him, like he was in the space with me. Except even though I was pointing the mic right at his dead mouth, I sensed I was only picking up an echo, as if Kon was somewhere else.

Instinctually, I twisted the boom and pointed the mic up, aiming where I thought Kon’s head might be if he was standing upright.

The voice was pristine and clear. As if he was standing five feet above his own body. Except it was completely empty space.
“Holy shit.”

“No. Not at all. How is this possible? How are you talking?”
I could hear him shift in the air and take a breath. I could literally hear him breathing, but I was still pointing up at nothing. Just stale cabin air.

“What?”

A dark weight descended onto my back. A spike of hopelessness. It’s like I’ve just been faced with something impossible.
“A czar—?”
<—Like a Polish warlock>
“What do you mean?”

I brought myself to sit down on one of the coolers and readjusted my grip on the boom pole. I could hear Kon’s voice drifting slightly. His breath was moving.
The breathing soon turned to sniveling, It sounded like he was fighting back tears. I stayed silent and did my best to track the invisible voice.

“What is Olek trying to do?”
I followed his anguish to a small bench lined up against the wall. I got the sense he was trying to sit down.

“Do what?”
Crying. The fleshy, wet sounds of wiping up a nose and eyes. I didn’t know whether this was truly the same Kon I knew before, or if his new form was more emotional.

I took a big swallow, and glanced down at his limp body. His arms were still curled in an awkward jumble.
“What’s ‘in here’ mean? What is supposed to happen?”

Another dark weight. My gut didn’t want to know anything more, but of course I had to know more.
“What are you talking about? Get who to possess me?”

It was now officially becoming too much. Although I was freezing in this thin, ragged dress, I forced myself to stay still. “The … folklore lady?”

“The tree?” My throat became tight. I momentarily choked. “You mean they were actually trying to … ”

My whole chest tensed up. So they were trying to exploit me. I wasn’t being paranoid. My worries were all valid the moment I got here. I had been lied to by Kon the entire time.

My grip on the boom tightened, I lowered it a little to accommodate for my shaking. Despite the torrent of fear still coursing out all ends of me, anger was now flaring too.

I glanced again at Konrad's body. At his curled hands, at the limp uselessness of them.
This was a person who was now truly, irrevocably gone from the world.
Did someone dead deserve anger?
My mic picked up Kon’s exhale, he let out a laugh. He laughed again, clapping ghostly hands together somewhere.
It became clear to me that whatever Konrad had become—it was something far more untethered. His voice started drifting further away.

I tracked the voice again, from more of a distance this time. I felt like I could lose Konrad—for a second time—I could lose him to some kind of unknown madness. Like every moment away from life was making him more erratic.
The laughter transitioned back to sobbing.
It felt imperative to ask him more questions. To distract him. To ground him. As much for his sake as my own. “Why? Why did they kill you?”

His voice hovered back over his corpse. Even though it looked like there was no one in this cabin but me. I could feel his presence there. I could feel his eyes on me.

The sobbing returned, stronger now than at any other point. I lowered my mic, following where I thought his spectral ‘head’ must be. He was only a foot above his corpse, which meant he was now stewing over his own dead body. I tried not to look at it.

Good. Okay. Something actionable. “So how do I get out of this?” I pointed at the entrance where we were both tossed in from. “Do I just need to push past the wind blocking that door?”

“What do you mean?”

“A spell?”

I stood up shakily and gestured at the ladder in the corner. “What if I climbed up to the second floor? Broke through one of the windows or—?”
<—You will not be able to.>
My breathing grew shallower.

I stared defeatedly at the spot where Kon was talking from. Then I stared beyond him at the far wall, where I could still faintly hear the wind blowing against the boarded up windows. And then I imagined the crew beyond that, chanting some godless invocations designed to end my life…
“So how exactly is this wraith supposed to reach me?”
There was a nasally exhale right above the corpse’s waist.
My feet froze. I aimed my light in every corner of the room, looking for the wraith. “And how close is she?”

I ran over and tried pulling at the boarded windows, but it was true, they were immovable. There was something unnatural holding them in place.
Then I tried my hand at breaking through a tiny circular window above the small bed. Impenetrable. “Why does this even have to happen? Why can't they let me go?!”

“But … Why?”

“ ... More takes?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That couldn’t have been right. “That's what this is all about? Finishing this dumb movie?”

It was so stupid it was outrageous.
“What the fuck? Is this a joke? Does Olek think killing people is going to make him the next Spielberg?”
Kon said nothing.
“I refuse to be a part of this, he doesn’t have my permission! I never signed any contract!”
Kon laughed again < ... I wish it was that easy. But now that you mention it. There might be something we can do … >
“What?”
His voice drifted, circling around his remains.
Without even seeing him, I knew he was gesturing at me. At my dress. I touched the linen on the neck seam

I held onto the neckline, unmoving. “Take it off?”

Not a guarantee? I played with removing my arm through one of the sleeves. Was Konrad actually serious about this? Or was he just …
<—I’m not trying to watch you strip. I don’t care. I’m literally dead. I’m trying to save your life.>
The wind outside rattled the house. The wood on the door groaned. Was that her getting closer?
“Okay, okay, fine.” I grabbed the bottom of the skirt and lifted it over my head. The chill was fierce. I crossed my arms tight.

I threw the dress into a corner of the cabin, and distanced myself. “What?”

Kon’s former body wore an insulated work jacket with fleece hood. It looked warm, but there was no way I was going to lean over and disrobe his corpse.

I felt like smacking him with the boom. “So what then? After I put your jacket on—I’m supposed to squeeze myself into a cooler? Play hide and seek?”

I hugged myself tighter, wrapping my arms around the boom. Why wasn’t there some old tablecloth or blanket in this stupid cabin? Did all the cloth decompose?
“Sorry Kon, I don’t want to touch your dead body. No offense”

So I did. I tried hiding in a couple of the coolers strewn about, but they were all too tight to squeeze into. I tried going into the attic upstairs, but the second I put my foot on the ladder, it collapsed. The wood was completely black with mold.
Eventually the best spot (or only viable one) was inside one of the cabinets in the northern corner. I could fit inside. But it was cold. So cold.

Each passing minute, it felt like the air grew more icy. Kon said it was likely to do with the wraith approaching. Even if I did hide successfully, at this rate, I was risking hypothermia.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. An undershirt and jeans were not enough for this temperature.
I set the phone light and boom on a nearby cooler and slinked over to the body, carefully keeping the gore out of sight.
I grabbed beneath the body’s armpits, and heaved it into a sitting position. From there I unzipped the jacket and pulled at both of the sleeves.
The coppery smell was very strong, so I did my best to hold my breath. A couple times I caught a glimpse of dangling flesh around the neck.
He’s just asleep. It's only makeup. He’s just asleep.
After an annoying tug-of-war, I finally managed to slip the whole jacket off, which plopped the head right into my line of vision.
I stared right through the neck hole, at an exposed brown tube that must’ve been a shredded esophagus or trachea.
Nausea struck. My vision blurred.

CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK.
I woke up in a daze. My phone light was still up, illuminating a gust of leaves swirling around the darkness.
There was a chair in the corner of the cabin, rocking on its own. Banging against a wall.
A loose rock went sailing through the air. I rolled before it could dent my head. There were several twigs, papers and other objects flying through the air in a haphazard fashion, being drawn to the chair.
I grabbed my boom off the floor and searched for Konrad. Aiming my microphone at his body. When had it been turned face down?
I couldn’t hear anything.
I adjusted my headphones and aimed the boom at the bench where Kon had sat earlier.
Nothing.
Then I aimed it at the rattling chair in the corner of the room.

The headphones practically flew off my head, I fell over, and backed away,
The chair was squeaking across the floor, and I could now see how It looked like Kon was trying to pin another entity to it. They were two invisible forces, grappling each other.
I stumbled across the dress I threw to the floor. I scrunched it up, and prepared to toss it somewhere. But did it even matter? The wraith could obviously sense me now, right?
Decision paralysis.
What could I do? These were the last couple moments of my life. Any second Kon would lose, and then I would be overtaken by a ghost woman and be ousted from my own body.
I would die from it, wouldn’t I? Or would I be a prisoner in my own body? A subject for whatever wickedness Olek had in store? He would force me to wear the dress again. Force me to wander the woods. Force me to keep acting in this godforsaken film.
I threw the dress on Kon’s body, instinctually trying to cover it. And then I realized something.
The wraith’s here looking for a body, isn’t she?
I bolted over to the corpse, thwarting all my inhibitions. Forcibly, I stretched the dress over the body’s head, pulling the fabric of the skirt over its scalp, all the way down to the waist. Thankfully it was lying face down.
I fed the arms through the sleeves and made sure its head popped through the neckline. The corpse was wearing it backwards, but surely that couldn’t matter.
The linen ripped here and there, and the bloody throat must’ve terribly stained the dress on the other side (I didn’t dare look). But it was on. The dress was on a body.
Then I flung myself away and hid behind the cabin’s single bed.
I placed the headphones back on, made sure everything was still connected. I pointed the mic at the chair.

It was the wraith. There was shuffling. I could hear Kon screaming but I couldn't see anything. The chair was still rocking back and forth.
“ … Kon!?”
The chair collapsed to the ground, shattering to pieces. I braced myself. My teeth clenched. I was still freezing.
Kon’s old body spasmed across the floor, rolling and scraping. One second its hips lifted, then its arms. There was an awful squelching. A sucking sound erupted from the throat.
I turned away, gripped the cot and stared at the cabin wall. She chose the body, not you! She chose the body, not you! You’re going to be okay!
My mic was still aimed at the clamor, I was hoping to hear something from Kon. But I was no longer picking up any voice. Not Kon’s, not hers, not anyone's. Just the thumping of a re-animating cadaver.
It sounded like bones were breaking. Like flesh was twisting.
Eventually the violence died down, turning into slow, soft movements. With immense hesitation, I lifted my gaze away from the wall and looked back.
The figure was standing. Observing me. Ragged hair obscured her entire face.
She had taken control of Kon’s body—which no longer looked like Kon’s body at all. The hips had narrowed. The ribs had tightened. The skin was pale and pristine, no sign of blood anywhere.
She had somehow compressed and reconstructed herself, even the dress looked repaired.
I stood up, held out both my hands. I wanted her to know that I meant no harm. I only wanted to leave.
The silence was horrible. We were standing in a vacuum of sound. All the wind outside had stopped.
Using thin, white fingers, she began to brush her tangle of hair. Not very precisely, and not very purposefully. It was just something she settled on doing.
My heartbeat was in my head. I slid off my headphones and laid down the equipment. I waited to see what she would do. But she only brushed her hair. Lady Midnight’s eyes were shrunken and sad. She didn’t seem to care that I was here.
“Are you … okay?”
I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know what I expected her to say. She simply looked at me with sorrow. Something was troubling her beyond conventional understanding.
Then the door opened, blinding both of us. I peered at the light through my fingers.
There came a cacophony of Polish voices. At first, they sounded concerned, inquisitive, but as they drew closer, I could sense relief. Celebration.
The AD was the first person I recognized. He beelined straight behind the womanwho now, lit by daylight, for all intents and purposes, looked exactly like Polina.
“Mamy ją! Mamy ją!” he said.
Coming in after him was the DP, (wearing a necklace of bones?) he brought out a flashlight and scanned the room, finding me immediately. “Jak to możliwe?”
Some more crew filed in, then quickly filed out. Polina was led out without resistance, keeping her eyes on the ground.
Eventually it was just me standing by the old bed. I still hadn't moved. It's like I had been hollowed out by the experience.
I was in shock.
Was it safe to leave?
It was all happening so fast.

After they all left, time stood still. I stood still. Unmoving
I listened to the voices outside, praying for them to fade. The coast had to be absolutely clear before I would consider leaving because even if I tried to, they would just grab me. Wouldn't they?
I didn't dare risk it.
The cold was relentless. I was now past the point of shivering, and I knew that meant I was in serious trouble, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be caught again.
I would rather stand here alone in this cabin, by this bed, looking at that open door and waiting until all the voices went away.
I would wait for as long as I had to. I would wait until I was absolutely sure.
Then a figure ducked beneath the door's frame.
They were wearing a black trench coat.
It’s Olek.
I grabbed firm hold of the bed I was leaning against and held my breath.
He inspected the cabin with a fake, bemused sort of interest, smiling the whole time.
His hands grazed Kon’s old bloodstain the floor, bringing up a tiny amount and rubbing it between thumb and forefinger. He knew I was in the room, but it was like he was looking everywhere except at me. Glancing instead at the broken chair, and upturned coolers …
He must know I'm here, right? Is he messing with me?
And of course he was, because the next moment his glowing gray eyes turned right to mine, and he took a few steps forward.
“Well, aren’t you clever, amazing Anna. Amazing and clever huh?”
I didn't react. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what he could do.
His toes bumped against my boom pole on the floor. He bent down and brushed the dirt off my sound gear, then picked it all up.
“I'm glad you made better use of Konrad than we could. He was shit at his job.”
The sound equipment was handed to me in a bundle. I held it like a statue. What was I supposed to do?
He circled back to the bloodstain on the floor and picked up Konrad's jacket. He gave it a shake and brushed it off.
“Outside, we now have opportunity for best shot. Greatest shot of all time, actually.”
He approached me again with the calmest air in the world. As if nothing was remotely amiss, as if we had just spent the last couple hours shooting a fun reality show, or kids movie.
The jacket was draped around my shoulders.
“You are wrapped, just like my AD said. You will be taken back to your car.”
His palm pushed against the middle of my back. I slowly marched forward.
“But before you go, you should stay and watch this shot. It is something beautiful. Something bestial. It has never been caught on film.”
Whether I wanted to or not, my legs were now moving on their own. I approached the doorway of the cabin.
“It would be a great honor to have another member for this moment. Another witness. And it would be a great favor, for me, to have a recording operator as well.”
He stopped me right before I left the cabin, snagged the headphones from my hands and plonked them onto my head.
“What do you think amazing Anna? Would you like to do sound—one last time?”
I marched outside into the overcast dusk. There was a small fire to my right, burning strong.
Around the fire was the whole crew, sitting in a very wide circle. They were sitting on their knees in strange postures. Praying.
I found Polina standing by the fire, looking at me with those same sad eyes as before. She knew something I didn't, and she wished she could explain it.
There was something happening here that I didn’t want to know about. Something worse than murder, worse than any crime possible by mortal hands.
Something unholy was about to be thrust upon this small slice of forest. And Olek wanted it recorded.
I started shivering again but I managed to turn on the Zoom recorder. As if I had any other choice.
I turned back to Olek, and meekly lifted my boom.
“Great. You really are amazing, you know that?” He pointed right beside one of the crewmembers. “Let's get you over there.”
His grin was massive. It's the first time I had ever seen him so happy. The biggest smile of the entire day.
“I’ll get the camera. You will see. This is going to be incredible.”
submitted by EclosionK2 to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]


2024.03.24 23:37 EclosionK2 I Might Be Recording My Own Death [Part 3]

I - II - III - IV - V
I jumped away and ran to the opposite wall. I couldn’t control my screams.
It was like my lungs and vocal chords were on autopilot. Fear paralyzed me against the cabin. I couldn’t move anything beside my eyes, which I shut. I didn’t dare look back at what I just saw.
Two minutes of hyperventilating brought no relief however. So I stumbled my way into the corner of the cabin filled with countertops—an area that must have been used as a sort of kitchen, and sank to the floor where I hid behind a cabinet door.
I brought my phone light and peeked out at the body. It was him. Oh my god. It was Konrad, laying in a tangled mess. Not moving. Not breathing. Completely lifeless.
I sat there listening to the silence, trying to gather my thoughts and make sense of this. What on earth is happening?
As if in response, the walkie on Konrad’s hip blared with static. It caused me to jump and hit my head on a cabinet’s edge above.
The noise of the wind outside exploded out the tiny speaker. It was surging wildly. And in the background of the fuzzy storm I could hear voices chanting something. Several of them.
It was the film crew outside, they were reciting something on repeat. Their voices were low, measured, and although I couldn’t make out any of the Polish phrases, there was one word I did recognize. My name.
They were chanting ‘Anna’ over and over again. “Anna. Annna. Annnnnnn—”
Hell no.
Whatever this was. It had to stop. Although I was in the midst of a panic attack, and shuddering erratically, I forced myself to hobble forward, past an upturned cooler, and past a broken chair, until I reached Kon’s body. I cannot tolerate a cult chanting my name through a fucking radio.
I clawed at his waist, looking for the walkie. I quickly found it, seized the dial, and turned that shit right off. The sound cut out.
Thank god.
All I could hear was the faint wailing of wind outside the cabin. And some miniscule, tinny sound coming from the headphones on Konrad’s head. Wait what?
I looked at the Zoom recorder lying by his side. I didn’t notice before, but I could see the device was still on, and it was still connected to the boom lying on his chest.
Each second by the body brought me closer to fainting, and the last thing I needed was to pass out. So I closed my eyes, and tried to make out the tinny noise. Unbelievably, I could actually hear Konrad, I could hear his own voice playing into the headphones on his head. Did he record something for me?
Desperate for answers, I pulled the Sennheisers off his head without looking. Then I fumble-yanked the Zoom and boom from his hands and scurried back to my spot in the kitchen corner There was no way I could linger around that corpse.
I gathered myself and wiped what I thought might be blood off the headphones. The foamed ear pads adjusted snugly to my head. I listened close.
It was the woeful whisper of Kon’s own voice. He sounded distant and airy.
Holy hell Kon, When did you record this? I looked at the Zoom’s tiny screen to determine what file was playing. What was the timestamp? Did he tape it while I was changing a few minutes ago? Then I noticed the red light was on the device. Not blinking. Not pulsing. A solid red light.
That meant it was actively recording.
I froze. The boom mic was resting on my lap, pointing lop-sidedly at Kon’s remains. Using minimal movements, I lifted the mic, extended it slightly, and aimed it directly at Kon’s body.
His voice was louder now. Still airy, but much more clear.
I extended the boom further, bit my tongue, and aimed the tip of the mic right at his lying, deceased head. < … Could have stopped it. Could have interfered. And now … Anna? … >
I stopped and stared. It felt like the audio had finished. All I could hear now was faint, gentle hum of the cabin’s room tone
It wasn’t so much that I was saying a word in response. It was more like I was just releasing a sound that got caught in the back of my throat.
“ ... Kon?”


I stayed standing for a while, not saying anything, just testing my own sense of reality.
Goosebumps had rippled across my entire back and traveled down my arms and legs. If I hadn’t just been wind-hurled inside of a dark cabin by a group of filmmaker-cultists currently chanting outside, I might have been a little more skeptical of the situation. Instead I took a big breath and forced myself to ask the obvious.
“Kon … are you … dead?”
His body wasn’t moving. In the weak light of my phone, I could see the fresh, ruby-colored blood glinting off his neck.

It sounded like him, like he was in the space with me. Except even though I was pointing the mic right at his dead mouth, I sensed I was only picking up an echo, as if Kon was somewhere else.

Instinctually, I twisted the boom and pointed the mic up, aiming where I thought Kon’s head might be if he was standing upright.

The voice was pristine and clear. As if he was standing five feet above his own body. Except it was completely empty space.
“Holy shit.”

“No. Not at all. How is this possible? How are you talking?”
I could hear him shift in the air and take a breath. I could literally hear him breathing, but I was still pointing up at nothing. Just stale cabin air.

“What?”

A dark weight descended onto my back. A spike of hopelessness. It’s like I’ve just been faced with something impossible.
“A czar—?”
<—Like a Polish warlock>
“What do you mean?”

I brought myself to sit down on one of the coolers and readjusted my grip on the boom pole. I could hear Kon’s voice drifting slightly. His breath was moving.
The breathing soon turned to sniveling, It sounded like he was fighting back tears. I stayed silent and did my best to track the invisible voice.

“What is Olek trying to do?”
I followed his anguish to a small bench lined up against the wall. I got the sense he was trying to sit down.

“Do what?”
Crying. The fleshy, wet sounds of wiping up a nose and eyes. I didn’t know whether this was truly the same Kon I knew before, or if his new form was more emotional.

I took a big swallow, and glanced down at his limp body. His arms were still curled in an awkward jumble.
“What’s ‘in here’ mean? What is supposed to happen?”

Another dark weight. My gut didn’t want to know anything more, but of course I had to know more.
“What are you talking about? Get who to possess me?”

It was now officially becoming too much. Although I was freezing in this thin, ragged dress, I forced myself to stay still. “The … folklore lady?”

“The tree?” My throat became tight. I momentarily choked. “You mean they were actually trying to … ”

My whole chest tensed up. So they were trying to exploit me. I wasn’t being paranoid. My worries were all valid the moment I got here. I had been lied to by Kon the entire time.

My grip on the boom tightened, I lowered it a little to accommodate for my shaking. Despite the torrent of fear still coursing out all ends of me, anger was now flaring too.

I glanced again at Konrad's body. At his curled hands, at the limp uselessness of them.
This was a person who was now truly, irrevocably gone from the world.
Did someone dead deserve anger?
My mic picked up Kon’s exhale, he let out a laugh. He laughed again, clapping ghostly hands together somewhere.
It became clear to me that whatever Konrad had become—it was something far more untethered. His voice started drifting further away.

I tracked the voice again, from more of a distance this time. I felt like I could lose Konrad—for a second time—I could lose him to some kind of unknown madness. Like every moment away from life was making him more erratic.
The laughter transitioned back to sobbing.
It felt imperative to ask him more questions. To distract him. To ground him. As much for his sake as my own. “Why? Why did they kill you?”

His voice hovered back over his corpse. Even though it looked like there was no one in this cabin but me. I could feel his presence there. I could feel his eyes on me.

The sobbing returned, stronger now than at any other point. I lowered my mic, following where I thought his spectral ‘head’ must be. He was only a foot above his corpse, which meant he was now stewing over his own dead body. I tried not to look at it.

Good. Okay. Something actionable. “So how do I get out of this?” I pointed at the entrance where we were both tossed in from. “Do I just need to push past the wind blocking that door?”

“What do you mean?”

“A spell?”

I stood up shakily and gestured at the ladder in the corner. “What if I climbed up to the second floor? Broke through one of the windows or—?”
<—You will not be able to.>
My breathing grew shallower.

I stared defeatedly at the spot where Kon was talking from. Then I stared beyond him at the far wall, where I could still faintly hear the wind blowing against the boarded up windows. And then I imagined the crew beyond that, chanting some godless invocations designed to end my life…
“So how exactly is this wraith supposed to reach me?”
There was a nasally exhale right above the corpse’s waist.
My feet froze. I aimed my light in every corner of the room, looking for the wraith. “And how close is she?”

I ran over and tried pulling at the boarded windows, but it was true, they were immovable. There was something unnatural holding them in place.
Then I tried my hand at breaking through a tiny circular window above the small bed. Impenetrable. “Why does this even have to happen? Why can't they let me go?!”

“But … Why?”

“ ... More takes?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That couldn’t have been right. “That's what this is all about? Finishing this dumb movie?”

It was so stupid it was outrageous.
“What the fuck? Is this a joke? Does Olek think killing people is going to make him the next Spielberg?”
Kon said nothing.
“I refuse to be a part of this, he doesn’t have my permission! I never signed any contract!”
Kon laughed again < ... I wish it was that easy. But now that you mention it. There might be something we can do … >
“What?”
His voice drifted, circling around his remains.
Without even seeing him, I knew he was gesturing at me. At my dress. I touched the linen on the neck seam

I held onto the neckline, unmoving. “Take it off?”

Not a guarantee? I played with removing my arm through one of the sleeves. Was Konrad actually serious about this? Or was he just …
<—I’m not trying to watch you strip. I don’t care. I’m literally dead. I’m trying to save your life.>
The wind outside rattled the house. The wood on the door groaned. Was that her getting closer?
“Okay, okay, fine.” I grabbed the bottom of the skirt and lifted it over my head. The chill was fierce. I crossed my arms tight.

I threw the dress into a corner of the cabin, and distanced myself. “What?”

Kon’s former body wore an insulated work jacket with fleece hood. It looked warm, but there was no way I was going to lean over and disrobe his corpse.

I felt like smacking him with the boom. “So what then? After I put your jacket on—I’m supposed to squeeze myself into a cooler? Play hide and seek?”

I hugged myself tighter, wrapping my arms around the boom. Why wasn’t there some old tablecloth or blanket in this stupid cabin? Did all the cloth decompose?
“Sorry Kon, I don’t want to touch your dead body. No offense”

So I did. I tried hiding in a couple of the coolers strewn about, but they were all too tight to squeeze into. I tried going into the attic upstairs, but the second I put my foot on the ladder, it collapsed. The wood was completely black with mold.
Eventually the best spot (or only viable one) was inside one of the cabinets in the northern corner. I could fit inside. But it was cold. So cold.

Each passing minute, it felt like the air grew more icy. Kon said it was likely to do with the wraith approaching. Even if I did hide successfully, at this rate, I was risking hypothermia.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. An undershirt and jeans were not enough for this temperature.
I set the phone light and boom on a nearby cooler and slinked over to the body, carefully keeping the gore out of sight.
I grabbed beneath the body’s armpits, and heaved it into a sitting position. From there I unzipped the jacket and pulled at both of the sleeves.
The coppery smell was very strong, so I did my best to hold my breath. A couple times I caught a glimpse of dangling flesh around the neck.
He’s just asleep. It's only makeup. He’s just asleep.
After an annoying tug-of-war, I finally managed to slip the whole jacket off, which plopped the head right into my line of vision.
I stared right through the neck hole, at an exposed brown tube that must’ve been a shredded esophagus or trachea.
Nausea struck. My vision blurred.

CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK.
I woke up in a daze. My phone light was still up, illuminating a gust of leaves swirling around the darkness.
There was a chair in the corner of the cabin, rocking on its own. Banging against a wall.
A loose rock went sailing through the air. I rolled before it could dent my head. There were several twigs, papers and other objects flying through the air in a haphazard fashion, being drawn to the chair.
I grabbed my boom off the floor and searched for Konrad. Aiming my microphone at his body. When had it been turned face down?
I couldn’t hear anything.
I adjusted my headphones and aimed the boom at the bench where Kon had sat earlier.
Nothing.
Then I aimed it at the rattling chair in the corner of the room.

The headphones practically flew off my head, I fell over, and backed away,
The chair was squeaking across the floor, and I could now see how It looked like Kon was trying to pin another entity to it. They were two invisible forces, grappling each other.
I stumbled across the dress I threw to the floor. I scrunched it up, and prepared to toss it somewhere. But did it even matter? The wraith could obviously sense me now, right?
Decision paralysis.
What could I do? These were the last couple moments of my life. Any second Kon would lose, and then I would be overtaken by a ghost woman and be ousted from my own body.
I would die from it, wouldn’t I? Or would I be a prisoner in my own body? A subject for whatever wickedness Olek had in store? He would force me to wear the dress again. Force me to wander the woods. Force me to keep acting in this godforsaken film.
I threw the dress on Kon’s body, instinctually trying to cover it. And then I realized something.
The wraith’s here looking for a body, isn’t she?
I bolted over to the corpse, thwarting all my inhibitions. Forcibly, I stretched the dress over the body’s head, pulling the fabric of the skirt over its scalp, all the way down to the waist. Thankfully it was lying face down.
I fed the arms through the sleeves and made sure its head popped through the neckline. The corpse was wearing it backwards, but surely that couldn’t matter.
The linen ripped here and there, and the bloody throat must’ve terribly stained the dress on the other side (I didn’t dare look). But it was on. The dress was on a body.
Then I flung myself away and hid behind the cabin’s single bed.
I placed the headphones back on, made sure everything was still connected. I pointed the mic at the chair.

It was the wraith. There was shuffling. I could hear Kon screaming but I couldn't see anything. The chair was still rocking back and forth.
“ … Kon!?”
The chair collapsed to the ground, shattering to pieces. I braced myself. My teeth clenched. I was still freezing.
Kon’s old body spasmed across the floor, rolling and scraping. One second its hips lifted, then its arms. There was an awful squelching. A sucking sound erupted from the throat.
I turned away, gripped the cot and stared at the cabin wall. She chose the body, not you! She chose the body, not you! You’re going to be okay!
My mic was still aimed at the clamor, I was hoping to hear something from Kon. But I was no longer picking up any voice. Not Kon’s, not hers, not anyone's. Just the thumping of a re-animating cadaver.
It sounded like bones were breaking. Like flesh was twisting.
Eventually the violence died down, turning into slow, soft movements. With immense hesitation, I lifted my gaze away from the wall and looked back.
The figure was standing. Observing me. Ragged hair obscured her entire face.
She had taken control of Kon’s body—which no longer looked like Kon’s body at all. The hips had narrowed. The ribs had tightened. The skin was pale and pristine, no sign of blood anywhere.
She had somehow compressed and reconstructed herself, even the dress looked repaired.
I stood up, held out both my hands. I wanted her to know that I meant no harm. I only wanted to leave.
The silence was horrible. We were standing in a vacuum of sound. All the wind outside had stopped.
Using thin, white fingers, she began to brush her tangle of hair. Not very precisely, and not very purposefully. It was just something she settled on doing.
My heartbeat was in my head. I slid off my headphones and laid down the equipment. I waited to see what she would do. But she only brushed her hair. Lady Midnight’s eyes were shrunken and sad. She didn’t seem to care that I was here.
“Are you … okay?”
I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know what I expected her to say. She simply looked at me with sorrow. Something was troubling her beyond conventional understanding.
Then the door opened, blinding both of us. I peered at the light through my fingers.
There came a cacophony of Polish voices. At first, they sounded concerned, inquisitive, but as they drew closer, I could sense relief. Celebration.
The AD was the first person I recognized. He beelined straight behind the womanwho now, lit by daylight, for all intents and purposes, looked exactly like Polina.
“Mamy ją! Mamy ją!” he said.
Coming in after him was the DP, (wearing a necklace of bones?) he brought out a flashlight and scanned the room, finding me immediately. “Jak to możliwe?”
Some more crew filed in, then quickly filed out. Polina was led out without resistance, keeping her eyes on the ground.
Eventually it was just me standing by the old bed. I still hadn't moved. It's like I had been hollowed out by the experience.
I was in shock.
Was it safe to leave?
It was all happening so fast.

After they all left, time stood still. I stood still. Unmoving
I listened to the voices outside, praying for them to fade. The coast had to be absolutely clear before I would consider leaving because even if I tried to, they would just grab me. Wouldn't they?
I didn't dare risk it.
The cold was relentless. I was now past the point of shivering, and I knew that meant I was in serious trouble, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be caught again.
I would rather stand here alone in this cabin, by this bed, looking at that open door and waiting until all the voices went away.
I would wait for as long as I had to. I would wait until I was absolutely sure.
Then a figure ducked beneath the door's frame.
They were wearing a black trench coat.
It’s Olek.
I grabbed firm hold of the bed I was leaning against and held my breath.
He inspected the cabin with a fake, bemused sort of interest, smiling the whole time.
His hands grazed Kon’s old bloodstain the floor, bringing up a tiny amount and rubbing it between thumb and forefinger. He knew I was in the room, but it was like he was looking everywhere except at me. Glancing instead at the broken chair, and upturned coolers …
He must know I'm here, right? Is he messing with me?
And of course he was, because the next moment his glowing gray eyes turned right to mine, and he took a few steps forward.
“Well, aren’t you clever, amazing Anna. Amazing and clever huh?”
I didn't react. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what he could do.
His toes bumped against my boom pole on the floor. He bent down and brushed the dirt off my sound gear, then picked it all up.
“I'm glad you made better use of Konrad than we could. He was shit at his job.”
The sound equipment was handed to me in a bundle. I held it like a statue. What was I supposed to do?
He circled back to the bloodstain on the floor and picked up Konrad's jacket. He gave it a shake and brushed it off.
“Outside, we now have opportunity for best shot. Greatest shot of all time, actually.”
He approached me again with the calmest air in the world. As if nothing was remotely amiss, as if we had just spent the last couple hours shooting a fun reality show, or kids movie.
The jacket was draped around my shoulders.
“You are wrapped, just like my AD said. You will be taken back to your car.”
His palm pushed against the middle of my back. I slowly marched forward.
“But before you go, you should stay and watch this shot. It is something beautiful. Something bestial. It has never been caught on film.”
Whether I wanted to or not, my legs were now moving on their own. I approached the doorway of the cabin.
“It would be a great honor to have another member for this moment. Another witness. And it would be a great favor, for me, to have a recording operator as well.”
He stopped me right before I left the cabin, snagged the headphones from my hands and plonked them onto my head.
“What do you think amazing Anna? Would you like to do sound—one last time?”
I marched outside into the overcast dusk. There was a small fire to my right, burning strong.
Around the fire was the whole crew, sitting in a very wide circle. They were sitting on their knees in strange postures. Praying.
I found Polina standing by the fire, looking at me with those same sad eyes as before. She knew something I didn't, and she wished she could explain it.
There was something happening here that I didn’t want to know about. Something worse than murder, worse than any crime possible by mortal hands.
Something unholy was about to be thrust upon this small slice of forest. And Olek wanted it recorded.
I started shivering again but I managed to turn on the Zoom recorder. As if I had any other choice.
I turned back to Olek, and meekly lifted my boom.
“Great. You really are amazing, you know that?” He pointed right beside one of the crewmembers. “Let's get you over there.”
His grin was massive. It's the first time I had ever seen him so happy. The biggest smile of the entire day.
“I’ll get the camera. You will see. This is going to be incredible.”
submitted by EclosionK2 to DarkTales [link] [comments]


2024.03.24 23:32 EclosionK2 I Might Be Recording My Own Death [Part 3]

I - II - III - IV - V
I jumped away and ran to the opposite wall. I couldn’t control my screams.
It was like my lungs and vocal chords were on autopilot. Fear paralyzed me against the cabin. I couldn’t move anything beside my eyes, which I shut. I didn’t dare look back at what I just saw.
Two minutes of hyperventilating brought no relief however. So I stumbled my way into the corner of the cabin filled with countertops—an area that must have been used as a sort of kitchen, and sank to the floor where I hid behind a cabinet door.
I brought my phone light and peeked out at the body. It was him. Oh my god. It was Konrad, laying in a tangled mess. Not moving. Not breathing. Completely lifeless.
I sat there listening to the silence, trying to gather my thoughts and make sense of this. What on earth is happening?
As if in response, the walkie on Konrad’s hip blared with static. It caused me to jump and hit my head on a cabinet’s edge above.
The noise of the wind outside exploded out the tiny speaker. It was surging wildly. And in the background of the fuzzy storm I could hear voices chanting something. Several of them.
It was the film crew outside, they were reciting something on repeat. Their voices were low, measured, and although I couldn’t make out any of the Polish phrases, there was one word I did recognize. My name.
They were chanting ‘Anna’ over and over again. “Anna. Annna. Annnnnnn—”
Hell no.
Whatever this was. It had to stop. Although I was in the midst of a panic attack, and shuddering erratically, I forced myself to hobble forward, past an upturned cooler, and past a broken chair, until I reached Kon’s body. I cannot tolerate a cult chanting my name through a fucking radio.
I clawed at his waist, looking for the walkie. I quickly found it, seized the dial, and turned that shit right off. The sound cut out.
Thank god.
All I could hear was the faint wailing of wind outside the cabin. And some miniscule, tinny sound coming from the headphones on Konrad’s head. Wait what?
I looked at the Zoom recorder lying by his side. I didn’t notice before, but I could see the device was still on, and it was still connected to the boom lying on his chest.
Each second by the body brought me closer to fainting, and the last thing I needed was to pass out. So I closed my eyes, and tried to make out the tinny noise. Unbelievably, I could actually hear Konrad, I could hear his own voice playing into the headphones on his head. Did he record something for me?
Desperate for answers, I pulled the Sennheisers off his head without looking. Then I fumble-yanked the Zoom and boom from his hands and scurried back to my spot in the kitchen corner There was no way I could linger around that corpse.
I gathered myself and wiped what I thought might be blood off the headphones. The foamed ear pads adjusted snugly to my head. I listened close.
It was the woeful whisper of Kon’s own voice. He sounded distant and airy.
Holy hell Kon, When did you record this? I looked at the Zoom’s tiny screen to determine what file was playing. What was the timestamp? Did he tape it while I was changing a few minutes ago? Then I noticed the red light was on the device. Not blinking. Not pulsing. A solid red light.
That meant it was actively recording.
I froze. The boom mic was resting on my lap, pointing lop-sidedly at Kon’s remains. Using minimal movements, I lifted the mic, extended it slightly, and aimed it directly at Kon’s body.
His voice was louder now. Still airy, but much more clear.
I extended the boom further, bit my tongue, and aimed the tip of the mic right at his lying, deceased head. < … Could have stopped it. Could have interfered. And now … Anna? … >
I stopped and stared. It felt like the audio had finished. All I could hear now was faint, gentle hum of the cabin’s room tone
It wasn’t so much that I was saying a word in response. It was more like I was just releasing a sound that got caught in the back of my throat.
“ ... Kon?”


I stayed standing for a while, not saying anything, just testing my own sense of reality.
Goosebumps had rippled across my entire back and traveled down my arms and legs. If I hadn’t just been wind-hurled inside of a dark cabin by a group of filmmaker-cultists currently chanting outside, I might have been a little more skeptical of the situation. Instead I took a big breath and forced myself to ask the obvious.
“Kon … are you … dead?”
His body wasn’t moving. In the weak light of my phone, I could see the fresh, ruby-colored blood glinting off his neck.

It sounded like him, like he was in the space with me. Except even though I was pointing the mic right at his dead mouth, I sensed I was only picking up an echo, as if Kon was somewhere else.

Instinctually, I twisted the boom and pointed the mic up, aiming where I thought Kon’s head might be if he was standing upright.

The voice was pristine and clear. As if he was standing five feet above his own body. Except it was completely empty space.
“Holy shit.”

“No. Not at all. How is this possible? How are you talking?”
I could hear him shift in the air and take a breath. I could literally hear him breathing, but I was still pointing up at nothing. Just stale cabin air.

“What?”

A dark weight descended onto my back. A spike of hopelessness. It’s like I’ve just been faced with something impossible.
“A czar—?”
<—Like a Polish warlock>
“What do you mean?”

I brought myself to sit down on one of the coolers and readjusted my grip on the boom pole. I could hear Kon’s voice drifting slightly. His breath was moving.
The breathing soon turned to sniveling, It sounded like he was fighting back tears. I stayed silent and did my best to track the invisible voice.

“What is Olek trying to do?”
I followed his anguish to a small bench lined up against the wall. I got the sense he was trying to sit down.

“Do what?”
Crying. The fleshy, wet sounds of wiping up a nose and eyes. I didn’t know whether this was truly the same Kon I knew before, or if his new form was more emotional.

I took a big swallow, and glanced down at his limp body. His arms were still curled in an awkward jumble.
“What’s ‘in here’ mean? What is supposed to happen?”

Another dark weight. My gut didn’t want to know anything more, but of course I had to know more.
“What are you talking about? Get who to possess me?”

It was now officially becoming too much. Although I was freezing in this thin, ragged dress, I forced myself to stay still. “The … folklore lady?”

“The tree?” My throat became tight. I momentarily choked. “You mean they were actually trying to … ”

My whole chest tensed up. So they were trying to exploit me. I wasn’t being paranoid. My worries were all valid the moment I got here. I had been lied to by Kon the entire time.

My grip on the boom tightened, I lowered it a little to accommodate for my shaking. Despite the torrent of fear still coursing out all ends of me, anger was now flaring too.

I glanced again at Konrad's body. At his curled hands, at the limp uselessness of them.
This was a person who was now truly, irrevocably gone from the world.
Did someone dead deserve anger?
My mic picked up Kon’s exhale, he let out a laugh. He laughed again, clapping ghostly hands together somewhere.
It became clear to me that whatever Konrad had become—it was something far more untethered. His voice started drifting further away.

I tracked the voice again, from more of a distance this time. I felt like I could lose Konrad—for a second time—I could lose him to some kind of unknown madness. Like every moment away from life was making him more erratic.
The laughter transitioned back to sobbing.
It felt imperative to ask him more questions. To distract him. To ground him. As much for his sake as my own. “Why? Why did they kill you?”

His voice hovered back over his corpse. Even though it looked like there was no one in this cabin but me. I could feel his presence there. I could feel his eyes on me.

The sobbing returned, stronger now than at any other point. I lowered my mic, following where I thought his spectral ‘head’ must be. He was only a foot above his corpse, which meant he was now stewing over his own dead body. I tried not to look at it.

Good. Okay. Something actionable. “So how do I get out of this?” I pointed at the entrance where we were both tossed in from. “Do I just need to push past the wind blocking that door?”

“What do you mean?”

“A spell?”

I stood up shakily and gestured at the ladder in the corner. “What if I climbed up to the second floor? Broke through one of the windows or—?”
<—You will not be able to.>
My breathing grew shallower.

I stared defeatedly at the spot where Kon was talking from. Then I stared beyond him at the far wall, where I could still faintly hear the wind blowing against the boarded up windows. And then I imagined the crew beyond that, chanting some godless invocations designed to end my life…
“So how exactly is this wraith supposed to reach me?”
There was a nasally exhale right above the corpse’s waist.
My feet froze. I aimed my light in every corner of the room, looking for the wraith. “And how close is she?”

I ran over and tried pulling at the boarded windows, but it was true, they were immovable. There was something unnatural holding them in place.
Then I tried my hand at breaking through a tiny circular window above the small bed. Impenetrable. “Why does this even have to happen? Why can't they let me go?!”

“But … Why?”

“ ... More takes?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That couldn’t have been right. “That's what this is all about? Finishing this dumb movie?”

It was so stupid it was outrageous.
“What the fuck? Is this a joke? Does Olek think killing people is going to make him the next Spielberg?”
Kon said nothing.
“I refuse to be a part of this, he doesn’t have my permission! I never signed any contract!”
Kon laughed again < ... I wish it was that easy. But now that you mention it. There might be something we can do … >
“What?”
His voice drifted, circling around his remains.
Without even seeing him, I knew he was gesturing at me. At my dress. I touched the linen on the neck seam

I held onto the neckline, unmoving. “Take it off?”

Not a guarantee? I played with removing my arm through one of the sleeves. Was Konrad actually serious about this? Or was he just …
<—I’m not trying to watch you strip. I don’t care. I’m literally dead. I’m trying to save your life.>
The wind outside rattled the house. The wood on the door groaned. Was that her getting closer?
“Okay, okay, fine.” I grabbed the bottom of the skirt and lifted it over my head. The chill was fierce. I crossed my arms tight.

I threw the dress into a corner of the cabin, and distanced myself. “What?”

Kon’s former body wore an insulated work jacket with fleece hood. It looked warm, but there was no way I was going to lean over and disrobe his corpse.

I felt like smacking him with the boom. “So what then? After I put your jacket on—I’m supposed to squeeze myself into a cooler? Play hide and seek?”

I hugged myself tighter, wrapping my arms around the boom. Why wasn’t there some old tablecloth or blanket in this stupid cabin? Did all the cloth decompose?
“Sorry Kon, I don’t want to touch your dead body. No offense”

So I did. I tried hiding in a couple of the coolers strewn about, but they were all too tight to squeeze into. I tried going into the attic upstairs, but the second I put my foot on the ladder, it collapsed. The wood was completely black with mold.
Eventually the best spot (or only viable one) was inside one of the cabinets in the northern corner. I could fit inside. But it was cold. So cold.

Each passing minute, it felt like the air grew more icy. Kon said it was likely to do with the wraith approaching. Even if I did hide successfully, at this rate, I was risking hypothermia.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. An undershirt and jeans were not enough for this temperature.
I set the phone light and boom on a nearby cooler and slinked over to the body, carefully keeping the gore out of sight.
I grabbed beneath the body’s armpits, and heaved it into a sitting position. From there I unzipped the jacket and pulled at both of the sleeves.
The coppery smell was very strong, so I did my best to hold my breath. A couple times I caught a glimpse of dangling flesh around the neck.
He’s just asleep. It's only makeup. He’s just asleep.
After an annoying tug-of-war, I finally managed to slip the whole jacket off, which plopped the head right into my line of vision.
I stared right through the neck hole, at an exposed brown tube that must’ve been a shredded esophagus or trachea.
Nausea struck. My vision blurred.

CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK.
I woke up in a daze. My phone light was still up, illuminating a gust of leaves swirling around the darkness.
There was a chair in the corner of the cabin, rocking on its own. Banging against a wall.
A loose rock went sailing through the air. I rolled before it could dent my head. There were several twigs, papers and other objects flying through the air in a haphazard fashion, being drawn to the chair.
I grabbed my boom off the floor and searched for Konrad. Aiming my microphone at his body. When had it been turned face down?
I couldn’t hear anything.
I adjusted my headphones and aimed the boom at the bench where Kon had sat earlier.
Nothing.
Then I aimed it at the rattling chair in the corner of the room.

The headphones practically flew off my head, I fell over, and backed away,
The chair was squeaking across the floor, and I could now see how It looked like Kon was trying to pin another entity to it. They were two invisible forces, grappling each other.
I stumbled across the dress I threw to the floor. I scrunched it up, and prepared to toss it somewhere. But did it even matter? The wraith could obviously sense me now, right?
Decision paralysis.
What could I do? These were the last couple moments of my life. Any second Kon would lose, and then I would be overtaken by a ghost woman and be ousted from my own body.
I would die from it, wouldn’t I? Or would I be a prisoner in my own body? A subject for whatever wickedness Olek had in store? He would force me to wear the dress again. Force me to wander the woods. Force me to keep acting in this godforsaken film.
I threw the dress on Kon’s body, instinctually trying to cover it. And then I realized something.
The wraith’s here looking for a body, isn’t she?
I bolted over to the corpse, thwarting all my inhibitions. Forcibly, I stretched the dress over the body’s head, pulling the fabric of the skirt over its scalp, all the way down to the waist. Thankfully it was lying face down.
I fed the arms through the sleeves and made sure its head popped through the neckline. The corpse was wearing it backwards, but surely that couldn’t matter.
The linen ripped here and there, and the bloody throat must’ve terribly stained the dress on the other side (I didn’t dare look). But it was on. The dress was on a body.
Then I flung myself away and hid behind the cabin’s single bed.
I placed the headphones back on, made sure everything was still connected. I pointed the mic at the chair.

It was the wraith. There was shuffling. I could hear Kon screaming but I couldn't see anything. The chair was still rocking back and forth.
“ … Kon!?”
The chair collapsed to the ground, shattering to pieces. I braced myself. My teeth clenched. I was still freezing.
Kon’s old body spasmed across the floor, rolling and scraping. One second its hips lifted, then its arms. There was an awful squelching. A sucking sound erupted from the throat.
I turned away, gripped the cot and stared at the cabin wall. She chose the body, not you! She chose the body, not you! You’re going to be okay!
My mic was still aimed at the clamor, I was hoping to hear something from Kon. But I was no longer picking up any voice. Not Kon’s, not hers, not anyone's. Just the thumping of a re-animating cadaver.
It sounded like bones were breaking. Like flesh was twisting.
Eventually the violence died down, turning into slow, soft movements. With immense hesitation, I lifted my gaze away from the wall and looked back.
The figure was standing. Observing me. Ragged hair obscured her entire face.
She had taken control of Kon’s body—which no longer looked like Kon’s body at all. The hips had narrowed. The ribs had tightened. The skin was pale and pristine, no sign of blood anywhere.
She had somehow compressed and reconstructed herself, even the dress looked repaired.
I stood up, held out both my hands. I wanted her to know that I meant no harm. I only wanted to leave.
The silence was horrible. We were standing in a vacuum of sound. All the wind outside had stopped.
Using thin, white fingers, she began to brush her tangle of hair. Not very precisely, and not very purposefully. It was just something she settled on doing.
My heartbeat was in my head. I slid off my headphones and laid down the equipment. I waited to see what she would do. But she only brushed her hair. Lady Midnight’s eyes were shrunken and sad. She didn’t seem to care that I was here.
“Are you … okay?”
I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know what I expected her to say. She simply looked at me with sorrow. Something was troubling her beyond conventional understanding.
Then the door opened, blinding both of us. I peered at the light through my fingers.
There came a cacophony of Polish voices. At first, they sounded concerned, inquisitive, but as they drew closer, I could sense relief. Celebration.
The AD was the first person I recognized. He beelined straight behind the womanwho now, lit by daylight, for all intents and purposes, looked exactly like Polina.
“Mamy ją! Mamy ją!” he said.
Coming in after him was the DP, (wearing a necklace of bones?) he brought out a flashlight and scanned the room, finding me immediately. “Jak to możliwe?”
Some more crew filed in, then quickly filed out. Polina was led out without resistance, keeping her eyes on the ground.
Eventually it was just me standing by the old bed. I still hadn't moved. It's like I had been hollowed out by the experience.
I was in shock.
Was it safe to leave?
It was all happening so fast.

After they all left, time stood still. I stood still. Unmoving
I listened to the voices outside, praying for them to fade. The coast had to be absolutely clear before I would consider leaving because even if I tried to, they would just grab me. Wouldn't they?
I didn't dare risk it.
The cold was relentless. I was now past the point of shivering, and I knew that meant I was in serious trouble, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be caught again.
I would rather stand here alone in this cabin, by this bed, looking at that open door and waiting until all the voices went away.
I would wait for as long as I had to. I would wait until I was absolutely sure.
Then a figure ducked beneath the door's frame.
They were wearing a black trench coat.
It’s Olek.
I grabbed firm hold of the bed I was leaning against and held my breath.
He inspected the cabin with a fake, bemused sort of interest, smiling the whole time.
His hands grazed Kon’s old bloodstain the floor, bringing up a tiny amount and rubbing it between thumb and forefinger. He knew I was in the room, but it was like he was looking everywhere except at me. Glancing instead at the broken chair, and upturned coolers …
He must know I'm here, right? Is he messing with me?
And of course he was, because the next moment his glowing gray eyes turned right to mine, and he took a few steps forward.
“Well, aren’t you clever, amazing Anna. Amazing and clever huh?”
I didn't react. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what he could do.
His toes bumped against my boom pole on the floor. He bent down and brushed the dirt off my sound gear, then picked it all up.
“I'm glad you made better use of Konrad than we could. He was shit at his job.”
The sound equipment was handed to me in a bundle. I held it like a statue. What was I supposed to do?
He circled back to the bloodstain on the floor and picked up Konrad's jacket. He gave it a shake and brushed it off.
“Outside, we now have opportunity for best shot. Greatest shot of all time, actually.”
He approached me again with the calmest air in the world. As if nothing was remotely amiss, as if we had just spent the last couple hours shooting a fun reality show, or kids movie.
The jacket was draped around my shoulders.
“You are wrapped, just like my AD said. You will be taken back to your car.”
His palm pushed against the middle of my back. I slowly marched forward.
“But before you go, you should stay and watch this shot. It is something beautiful. Something bestial. It has never been caught on film.”
Whether I wanted to or not, my legs were now moving on their own. I approached the doorway of the cabin.
“It would be a great honor to have another member for this moment. Another witness. And it would be a great favor, for me, to have a recording operator as well.”
He stopped me right before I left the cabin, snagged the headphones from my hands and plonked them onto my head.
“What do you think amazing Anna? Would you like to do sound—one last time?”
I marched outside into the overcast dusk. There was a small fire to my right, burning strong.
Around the fire was the whole crew, sitting in a very wide circle. They were sitting on their knees in strange postures. Praying.
I found Polina standing by the fire, looking at me with those same sad eyes as before. She knew something I didn't, and she wished she could explain it.
There was something happening here that I didn’t want to know about. Something worse than murder, worse than any crime possible by mortal hands.
Something unholy was about to be thrust upon this small slice of forest. And Olek wanted it recorded.
I started shivering again but I managed to turn on the Zoom recorder. As if I had any other choice.
I turned back to Olek, and meekly lifted my boom.
“Great. You really are amazing, you know that?” He pointed right beside one of the crewmembers. “Let's get you over there.”
His grin was massive. It's the first time I had ever seen him so happy. The biggest smile of the entire day.
“I’ll get the camera. You will see. This is going to be incredible.”
submitted by EclosionK2 to Odd_directions [link] [comments]


2024.03.24 23:18 EclosionK2 I Might Be Recording My Own Death [Part 3]

I - II - III - IV - V
I jumped away and ran to the opposite wall. I couldn’t control my screams.
It was like my lungs and vocal chords were on autopilot. Fear paralyzed me against the cabin. I couldn’t move anything beside my eyes, which I shut. I didn’t dare look back at what I just saw.
Two minutes of hyperventilating brought no relief however. So I stumbled my way into the corner of the cabin filled with countertops—an area that must have been used as a sort of kitchen, and sank to the floor where I hid behind a cabinet door.
I brought my phone light and peeked out at the body. It was him. Oh my god. It was Konrad, laying in a tangled mess. Not moving. Not breathing. Completely lifeless.
I sat there listening to the silence, trying to gather my thoughts and make sense of this. What on earth is happening?
As if in response, the walkie on Konrad’s hip blared with static. It caused me to jump and hit my head on a cabinet’s edge above.
The noise of the wind outside exploded out the tiny speaker. It was surging wildly. And in the background of the fuzzy storm I could hear voices chanting something. Several of them.
It was the film crew outside, they were reciting something on repeat. Their voices were low, measured, and although I couldn’t make out any of the Polish phrases, there was one word I did recognize. My name.
They were chanting ‘Anna’ over and over again. “Anna. Annna. Annnnnnn—”
Hell no.
Whatever this was. It had to stop. Although I was in the midst of a panic attack, and shuddering erratically, I forced myself to hobble forward, past an upturned cooler, and past a broken chair, until I reached Kon’s body. I cannot tolerate a cult chanting my name through a fucking radio.
I clawed at his waist, looking for the walkie. I quickly found it, seized the dial, and turned that shit right off. The sound cut out.
Thank god.
All I could hear was the faint wailing of wind outside the cabin. And some miniscule, tinny sound coming from the headphones on Konrad’s head. Wait what?
I looked at the Zoom recorder lying by his side. I didn’t notice before, but I could see the device was still on, and it was still connected to the boom lying on his chest.
Each second by the body brought me closer to fainting, and the last thing I needed was to pass out. So I closed my eyes, and tried to make out the tinny noise. Unbelievably, I could actually hear Konrad, I could hear his own voice playing into the headphones on his head. Did he record something for me?
Desperate for answers, I pulled the Sennheisers off his head without looking. Then I fumble-yanked the Zoom and boom from his hands and scurried back to my spot in the kitchen corner There was no way I could linger around that corpse.
I gathered myself and wiped what I thought might be blood off the headphones. The foamed ear pads adjusted snugly to my head. I listened close.
It was the woeful whisper of Kon’s own voice. He sounded distant and airy.
Holy hell Kon, When did you record this? I looked at the Zoom’s tiny screen to determine what file was playing. What was the timestamp? Did he tape it while I was changing a few minutes ago? Then I noticed the red light was on the device. Not blinking. Not pulsing. A solid red light.
That meant it was actively recording.
I froze. The boom mic was resting on my lap, pointing lop-sidedly at Kon’s remains. Using minimal movements, I lifted the mic, extended it slightly, and aimed it directly at Kon’s body.
His voice was louder now. Still airy, but much more clear.
I extended the boom further, bit my tongue, and aimed the tip of the mic right at his lying, deceased head. < … Could have stopped it. Could have interfered. And now … Anna? … >
I stopped and stared. It felt like the audio had finished. All I could hear now was faint, gentle hum of the cabin’s room tone
It wasn’t so much that I was saying a word in response. It was more like I was just releasing a sound that got caught in the back of my throat.
“ ... Kon?”


I stayed standing for a while, not saying anything, just testing my own sense of reality.
Goosebumps had rippled across my entire back and traveled down my arms and legs. If I hadn’t just been wind-hurled inside of a dark cabin by a group of filmmaker-cultists currently chanting outside, I might have been a little more skeptical of the situation. Instead I took a big breath and forced myself to ask the obvious.
“Kon … are you … dead?”
His body wasn’t moving. In the weak light of my phone, I could see the fresh, ruby-colored blood glinting off his neck.

It sounded like him, like he was in the space with me. Except even though I was pointing the mic right at his dead mouth, I sensed I was only picking up an echo, as if Kon was somewhere else.

Instinctually, I twisted the boom and pointed the mic up, aiming where I thought Kon’s head might be if he was standing upright.

The voice was pristine and clear. As if he was standing five feet above his own body. Except it was completely empty space.
“Holy shit.”

“No. Not at all. How is this possible? How are you talking?”
I could hear him shift in the air and take a breath. I could literally hear him breathing, but I was still pointing up at nothing. Just stale cabin air.

“What?”

A dark weight descended onto my back. A spike of hopelessness. It’s like I’ve just been faced with something impossible.
“A czar—?”
<—Like a Polish warlock>
“What do you mean?”

I brought myself to sit down on one of the coolers and readjusted my grip on the boom pole. I could hear Kon’s voice drifting slightly. His breath was moving.
The breathing soon turned to sniveling, It sounded like he was fighting back tears. I stayed silent and did my best to track the invisible voice.

“What is Olek trying to do?”
I followed his anguish to a small bench lined up against the wall. I got the sense he was trying to sit down.

“Do what?”
Crying. The fleshy, wet sounds of wiping up a nose and eyes. I didn’t know whether this was truly the same Kon I knew before, or if his new form was more emotional.

I took a big swallow, and glanced down at his limp body. His arms were still curled in an awkward jumble.
“What’s ‘in here’ mean? What is supposed to happen?”

Another dark weight. My gut didn’t want to know anything more, but of course I had to know more.
“What are you talking about? Get who to possess me?”

It was now officially becoming too much. Although I was freezing in this thin, ragged dress, I forced myself to stay still. “The … folklore lady?”

“The tree?” My throat became tight. I momentarily choked. “You mean they were actually trying to … ”

My whole chest tensed up. So they were trying to exploit me. I wasn’t being paranoid. My worries were all valid the moment I got here. I had been lied to by Kon the entire time.

My grip on the boom tightened, I lowered it a little to accommodate for my shaking. Despite the torrent of fear still coursing out all ends of me, anger was now flaring too.

I glanced again at Konrad's body. At his curled hands, at the limp uselessness of them.
This was a person who was now truly, irrevocably gone from the world.
Did someone dead deserve anger?
My mic picked up Kon’s exhale, he let out a laugh. He laughed again, clapping ghostly hands together somewhere.
It became clear to me that whatever Konrad had become—it was something far more untethered. His voice started drifting further away.

I tracked the voice again, from more of a distance this time. I felt like I could lose Konrad—for a second time—I could lose him to some kind of unknown madness. Like every moment away from life was making him more erratic.
The laughter transitioned back to sobbing.
It felt imperative to ask him more questions. To distract him. To ground him. As much for his sake as my own. “Why? Why did they kill you?”

His voice hovered back over his corpse. Even though it looked like there was no one in this cabin but me. I could feel his presence there. I could feel his eyes on me.

The sobbing returned, stronger now than at any other point. I lowered my mic, following where I thought his spectral ‘head’ must be. He was only a foot above his corpse, which meant he was now stewing over his own dead body. I tried not to look at it.

Good. Okay. Something actionable. “So how do I get out of this?” I pointed at the entrance where we were both tossed in from. “Do I just need to push past the wind blocking that door?”

“What do you mean?”

“A spell?”

I stood up shakily and gestured at the ladder in the corner. “What if I climbed up to the second floor? Broke through one of the windows or—?”
<—You will not be able to.>
My breathing grew shallower.

I stared defeatedly at the spot where Kon was talking from. Then I stared beyond him at the far wall, where I could still faintly hear the wind blowing against the boarded up windows. And then I imagined the crew beyond that, chanting some godless invocations designed to end my life…
“So how exactly is this wraith supposed to reach me?”
There was a nasally exhale right above the corpse’s waist.
My feet froze. I aimed my light in every corner of the room, looking for the wraith. “And how close is she?”

I ran over and tried pulling at the boarded windows, but it was true, they were immovable. There was something unnatural holding them in place.
Then I tried my hand at breaking through a tiny circular window above the small bed. Impenetrable. “Why does this even have to happen? Why can't they let me go?!”

“But … Why?”

“ ... More takes?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That couldn’t have been right. “That's what this is all about? Finishing this dumb movie?”

It was so stupid it was outrageous.
“What the fuck? Is this a joke? Does Olek think killing people is going to make him the next Spielberg?”
Kon said nothing.
“I refuse to be a part of this, he doesn’t have my permission! I never signed any contract!”
Kon laughed again < ... I wish it was that easy. But now that you mention it. There might be something we can do … >
“What?”
His voice drifted, circling around his remains.
Without even seeing him, I knew he was gesturing at me. At my dress. I touched the linen on the neck seam

I held onto the neckline, unmoving. “Take it off?”

Not a guarantee? I played with removing my arm through one of the sleeves. Was Konrad actually serious about this? Or was he just …
<—I’m not trying to watch you strip. I don’t care. I’m literally dead. I’m trying to save your life.>
The wind outside rattled the house. The wood on the door groaned. Was that her getting closer?
“Okay, okay, fine.” I grabbed the bottom of the skirt and lifted it over my head. The chill was fierce. I crossed my arms tight.

I threw the dress into a corner of the cabin, and distanced myself. “What?”

Kon’s former body wore an insulated work jacket with fleece hood. It looked warm, but there was no way I was going to lean over and disrobe his corpse.

I felt like smacking him with the boom. “So what then? After I put your jacket on—I’m supposed to squeeze myself into a cooler? Play hide and seek?”

I hugged myself tighter, wrapping my arms around the boom. Why wasn’t there some old tablecloth or blanket in this stupid cabin? Did all the cloth decompose?
“Sorry Kon, I don’t want to touch your dead body. No offense”

So I did. I tried hiding in a couple of the coolers strewn about, but they were all too tight to squeeze into. I tried going into the attic upstairs, but the second I put my foot on the ladder, it collapsed. The wood was completely black with mold.
Eventually the best spot (or only viable one) was inside one of the cabinets in the northern corner. I could fit inside. But it was cold. So cold.

Each passing minute, it felt like the air grew more icy. Kon said it was likely to do with the wraith approaching. Even if I did hide successfully, at this rate, I was risking hypothermia.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. An undershirt and jeans were not enough for this temperature.
I set the phone light and boom on a nearby cooler and slinked over to the body, carefully keeping the gore out of sight.
I grabbed beneath the body’s armpits, and heaved it into a sitting position. From there I unzipped the jacket and pulled at both of the sleeves.
The coppery smell was very strong, so I did my best to hold my breath. A couple times I caught a glimpse of dangling flesh around the neck.
He’s just asleep. It's only makeup. He’s just asleep.
After an annoying tug-of-war, I finally managed to slip the whole jacket off, which plopped the head right into my line of vision.
I stared right through the neck hole, at an exposed brown tube that must’ve been a shredded esophagus or trachea.
Nausea struck. My vision blurred.

CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK.
I woke up in a daze. My phone light was still up, illuminating a gust of leaves swirling around the darkness.
There was a chair in the corner of the cabin, rocking on its own. Banging against a wall.
A loose rock went sailing through the air. I rolled before it could dent my head. There were several twigs, papers and other objects flying through the air in a haphazard fashion, being drawn to the chair.
I grabbed my boom off the floor and searched for Konrad. Aiming my microphone at his body. When had it been turned face down?
I couldn’t hear anything.
I adjusted my headphones and aimed the boom at the bench where Kon had sat earlier.
Nothing.
Then I aimed it at the rattling chair in the corner of the room.

The headphones practically flew off my head, I fell over, and backed away,
The chair was squeaking across the floor, and I could now see how It looked like Kon was trying to pin another entity to it. They were two invisible forces, grappling each other.
I stumbled across the dress I threw to the floor. I scrunched it up, and prepared to toss it somewhere. But did it even matter? The wraith could obviously sense me now, right?
Decision paralysis.
What could I do? These were the last couple moments of my life. Any second Kon would lose, and then I would be overtaken by a ghost woman and be ousted from my own body.
I would die from it, wouldn’t I? Or would I be a prisoner in my own body? A subject for whatever wickedness Olek had in store? He would force me to wear the dress again. Force me to wander the woods. Force me to keep acting in this godforsaken film.
I threw the dress on Kon’s body, instinctually trying to cover it. And then I realized something.
The wraith’s here looking for a body, isn’t she?
I bolted over to the corpse, thwarting all my inhibitions. Forcibly, I stretched the dress over the body’s head, pulling the fabric of the skirt over its scalp, all the way down to the waist. Thankfully it was lying face down.
I fed the arms through the sleeves and made sure its head popped through the neckline. The corpse was wearing it backwards, but surely that couldn’t matter.
The linen ripped here and there, and the bloody throat must’ve terribly stained the dress on the other side (I didn’t dare look). But it was on. The dress was on a body.
Then I flung myself away and hid behind the cabin’s single bed.
I placed the headphones back on, made sure everything was still connected. I pointed the mic at the chair.

It was the wraith. There was shuffling. I could hear Kon screaming but I couldn't see anything. The chair was still rocking back and forth.
“ … Kon!?”
The chair collapsed to the ground, shattering to pieces. I braced myself. My teeth clenched. I was still freezing.
Kon’s old body spasmed across the floor, rolling and scraping. One second its hips lifted, then its arms. There was an awful squelching. A sucking sound erupted from the throat.
I turned away, gripped the cot and stared at the cabin wall. She chose the body, not you! She chose the body, not you! You’re going to be okay!
My mic was still aimed at the clamor, I was hoping to hear something from Kon. But I was no longer picking up any voice. Not Kon’s, not hers, not anyone's. Just the thumping of a re-animating cadaver.
It sounded like bones were breaking. Like flesh was twisting.
Eventually the violence died down, turning into slow, soft movements. With immense hesitation, I lifted my gaze away from the wall and looked back.
The figure was standing. Observing me. Ragged hair obscured her entire face.
She had taken control of Kon’s body—which no longer looked like Kon’s body at all. The hips had narrowed. The ribs had tightened. The skin was pale and pristine, no sign of blood anywhere.
She had somehow compressed and reconstructed herself, even the dress looked repaired.
I stood up, held out both my hands. I wanted her to know that I meant no harm. I only wanted to leave.
The silence was horrible. We were standing in a vacuum of sound. All the wind outside had stopped.
Using thin, white fingers, she began to brush her tangle of hair. Not very precisely, and not very purposefully. It was just something she settled on doing.
My heartbeat was in my head. I slid off my headphones and laid down the equipment. I waited to see what she would do. But she only brushed her hair. Lady Midnight’s eyes were shrunken and sad. She didn’t seem to care that I was here.
“Are you … okay?”
I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know what I expected her to say. She simply looked at me with sorrow. Something was troubling her beyond conventional understanding.
Then the door opened, blinding both of us. I peered at the light through my fingers.
There came a cacophony of Polish voices. At first, they sounded concerned, inquisitive, but as they drew closer, I could sense relief. Celebration.
The AD was the first person I recognized. He beelined straight behind the womanwho now, lit by daylight, for all intents and purposes, looked exactly like Polina.
“Mamy ją! Mamy ją!” he said.
Coming in after him was the DP, (wearing a necklace of bones?) he brought out a flashlight and scanned the room, finding me immediately. “Jak to możliwe?”
Some more crew filed in, then quickly filed out. Polina was led out without resistance, keeping her eyes on the ground.
Eventually it was just me standing by the old bed. I still hadn't moved. It's like I had been hollowed out by the experience.
I was in shock.
Was it safe to leave?
It was all happening so fast.

After they all left, time stood still. I stood still. Unmoving
I listened to the voices outside, praying for them to fade. The coast had to be absolutely clear before I would consider leaving because even if I tried to, they would just grab me. Wouldn't they?
I didn't dare risk it.
The cold was relentless. I was now past the point of shivering, and I knew that meant I was in serious trouble, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be caught again.
I would rather stand here alone in this cabin, by this bed, looking at that open door and waiting until all the voices went away.
I would wait for as long as I had to. I would wait until I was absolutely sure.
Then a figure ducked beneath the door's frame.
They were wearing a black trench coat.
It’s Olek.
I grabbed firm hold of the bed I was leaning against and held my breath.
He inspected the cabin with a fake, bemused sort of interest, smiling the whole time.
His hands grazed Kon’s old bloodstain the floor, bringing up a tiny amount and rubbing it between thumb and forefinger. He knew I was in the room, but it was like he was looking everywhere except at me. Glancing instead at the broken chair, and upturned coolers …
He must know I'm here, right? Is he messing with me?
And of course he was, because the next moment his glowing gray eyes turned right to mine, and he took a few steps forward.
“Well, aren’t you clever, amazing Anna. Amazing and clever huh?”
I didn't react. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what he could do.
His toes bumped against my boom pole on the floor. He bent down and brushed the dirt off my sound gear, then picked it all up.
“I'm glad you made better use of Konrad than we could. He was shit at his job.”
The sound equipment was handed to me in a bundle. I held it like a statue. What was I supposed to do?
He circled back to the bloodstain on the floor and picked up Konrad's jacket. He gave it a shake and brushed it off.
“Outside, we now have opportunity for best shot. Greatest shot of all time, actually.”
He approached me again with the calmest air in the world. As if nothing was remotely amiss, as if we had just spent the last couple hours shooting a fun reality show, or kids movie.
The jacket was draped around my shoulders.
“You are wrapped, just like my AD said. You will be taken back to your car.”
His palm pushed against the middle of my back. I slowly marched forward.
“But before you go, you should stay and watch this shot. It is something beautiful. Something bestial. It has never been caught on film.”
Whether I wanted to or not, my legs were now moving on their own. I approached the doorway of the cabin.
“It would be a great honor to have another member for this moment. Another witness. And it would be a great favor, for me, to have a recording operator as well.”
He stopped me right before I left the cabin, snagged the headphones from my hands and plonked them onto my head.
“What do you think amazing Anna? Would you like to do sound—one last time?”
I marched outside into the overcast dusk. There was a small fire to my right, burning strong.
Around the fire was the whole crew, sitting in a very wide circle. They were sitting on their knees in strange postures. Praying.
I found Polina standing by the fire, looking at me with those same sad eyes as before. She knew something I didn't, and she wished she could explain it.
There was something happening here that I didn’t want to know about. Something worse than murder, worse than any crime possible by mortal hands.
Something unholy was about to be thrust upon this small slice of forest. And Olek wanted it recorded.
I started shivering again but I managed to turn on the Zoom recorder. As if I had any other choice.
I turned back to Olek, and meekly lifted my boom.
“Great. You really are amazing, you know that?” He pointed right beside one of the crewmembers. “Let's get you over there.”
His grin was massive. It's the first time I had ever seen him so happy. The biggest smile of the entire day.
“I’ll get the camera. You will see. This is going to be incredible.”
submitted by EclosionK2 to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.03.14 05:32 HughEhhoule P. I. T. Book 2 Episode 2

Before i noticed where i was standing , i heard it. Before my brain could process the image of the new hallway i found myself in , my ears picked up on the subtle wrongness of the door closing .
I've heard Eli's door close a million times, hell, maybe more. And the sound i heard was nothing like it.
It's a moment of shock, like a glass of cold water thrown on an unsuspecting hot tub user. I feel myself stagger for a moment and focus, my breathing is heavy, fear and confusion boiling up inside of me.
When you make yourself a hammer, you see everything as a nail. I can't take credit for that one, it's old and coined by a far better person than myself, but as i crouch, scanning the hallway for attackers, i'm a damn fine example of that old cliche.
There are no attackers, i'm not in a dingy basement, or maze of storage containers, it's a nice hallway in what i'm assuming is an equally nice apartment building.
Cream colored paint makes the high gloss wood doors seem inviting, the durable yet stain free carpet clearly is close friends with a steam cleaner, there isn't so much as a flickering light bulb giving a sense of unease.
In my left hand are a half dozen small grocery bags, my right grips a set of keys with an orange happy face key fob.
I stand, trying to appear at ease, though , thankfully i don't see any observers to whatever is going on. I have no idea what's happening to me, but at least i don't look like an asshole.
The door to apartment 403 unlocks with a square shaped brown key, and within isn't the purposeful rat's nest Eli spent so long cultivating, but a spotless living space , well furnished, and in good repair.
I find i.d. , i find chat logs, bills, a few pictures, and with every piece of evidence i pull from this place, a story emerges.
My name, is Mike Lawrence, i fix electronics (a skill i found essential back where things made sense.) , have a small circle of friends, and a life that has nothing to do with violence, conspiracies, or anything more dark than a handful of horror films on blu ray.
My job causes a certain amount of...stress on my mind. Par for the course for anyone who isn't a psychopath, but something i always have to be aware of. As useful as knowing how to sow up a stab wound is, understanding when it's time to procure some anti anxiety medication or mood stabilisers, that shit has saved my life more than kevlar.
So i know when the gears start slipping , and right now, my mind is running as well as someone with a couple of voices in their skull can be expected to.
Speaking of, Norman and The Boyscout are silent, like most of the time, when i really need them, they are no where to be found.
Now, i know none of you are here to listen to , what is going to amount to some generic dickhead's blog, so i'm going to give you the cliff's notes on about six months worth of mundane life, and existential dread.
I spent the first month or so waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for that moment where i found out the plot, or experiment i found myself in.
But as the days went on, i had to admit, there was nothing more sinister than a few angry voicemails from clients waiting on repairs.
At this point the only conclusion i could come to was that, i was Mike Lawrence. Whatever life i remember was some kind of hallucination, or fugue state , maybe even just the mother of all screwed up dreams.
So, for almost half a year, i was, Mike lawrence. I spent time with Mike's friends, i worked Mike's job, paid Mike's rent, all of that generic day to day crap.
And i loved it.
Every, safe, dull, boring moment, i savored like it was the last drop of the oldest bottle of wine in the universe.
But here is the catch 22.
Even if i could ignore my dozens of scars, burns and mutilations, rationalize them as a car wreck, maybe. I can't ignore why every moment free of gunfire and ill intent seems like a decade in heaven to me.
No dream, drug trip, or mental breakdown can mimic a decade of life or death. A decade of hard decisions, most of the right ones ending up with me doing something that haunts my dreams, and most of the wrong ones ending up with me watching some twisted bastard do similar.
Mike Lawrence, doesn't drink.
But there came a night, and a bottle, where i realized, i wasn't Mike Lawrence, no matter how much everything in this world wanted to lull me into thinking so , i was not Mike Fucking Lawrence.
Being an alcoholic, it's so romanticized calling that shit out is a cliche in and of itself. But take it from experience kids, chugging a 40 pounder of vodka alone, that isn't badass.
It's a sad, grimy experience, you become annoyed with yourself. Desperate to get wasted, but hating this drunken shithead you have to deal with.
But, in Vino Veritas, as they say, in wine there is truth. by that logic, there must be the secrets of the universe somewhere at the bottom of this texas mickey.
There was, in a sense.
"Took you long enough Michael." The voice is thin, but somehow full of power.
I want to call the thing sitting in the chair across from me a man, but, the deep pits of darkness that serve as his eyes tell me he's something... else.
The obvious answer being, hallucination.
And as far as those go, the guy makes sense.
Seven feet tall with long lanky limbs, he seems to barely fit in the oversized leather armchair. He's wearing a combination of victorian era suit and...voodoo shit? There has to be a better term, but stuff that makes me think of swamps, witches and potions. And all of this is topped with something i've always had a fondness for, a massive top hat.
I'm not shocked, or stunned, if anything, i feel relief. If i'm seeing things, that's fixable.
"Don't act like you're the first thing i've seen that wasn't there. " I slur in reply.
That laugh, that low, mocking chuckle, sends a shiver through me.
"Don't be stupid Michael.
You know you don't belong here. You can feel it in your soul, you can see it when you walk down streets with names you don't recognise, you are a traveler Michael. " The entity across from me says, his tone grave.
"Yer a wizard harry!" i scream, laughing at the apparition, "You know what screams, 'the cheese has slid of my cracker?' there, scary spice?
When you tell me i'm some sort of universe hopping savior. That is some stereotypical delusions of grandeur shit."
He shakes his head, his chuckle, this time seeming to barely suppress rage.
"You have severely misread the situation, Mike.
No, you are not a savior. You are an insignificant speck, battles for the fate of the world, are not in your future.
But your value isn't in what you are, but where you are.
The sum of reality is divided into nine corners Michael. And up until this moment, even a man-in-the-know such as myself, would have thought it impossible for so much as an atom to travel between them.
But here you are. " he lets the silence hang.
I want to dismiss this thing, to drink until i pass out, then blast whatever bit of my brain went rotten with antipsychotics.
But something about him, something about what he's saying is ringing true.
"Seems you know a lot about me, what about you, most drunks just see pink elephants why do i get a ghost?" I try to sound mocking, but my desperate question is obvious.
"Ghost? I wish.
That i had plenty of contingencies for.
No, my state, is also, rather, unique.
I was a man, one who was destroyed so thoroughly , under such a combination of etheral stress, that what was left, simply didn't have a place to go.
And under normal circumstances, that would have been it. I would have simply kept almost existing, the thin threads connecting the scraps of memory and intent that compose me fraying till every moment was a limbo of confusion.
But, Michael, you and i are alike. More alike than i have time to explain. And because of this, you may be able to help me.
You need to get home, this corner will twist and warp you, you are a foreign body, a splinter in this segment of reality's flesh.
And i, well, i need anything other than this. I'd sooner take my chances in the deepest pits of hell, those are at least charted waters.
But, we seem to be at an impasse, and an understandable one.
I'd ask you to trust in me, but i know i wouldn't trust anyone the least bit like myself, so i don't expect you to either.
Grab one of those pieces of junk mail, open it facing me. If all i am is 'a bit of undigested beef' , as it were, i'll not be able to recite the contents.
If i can though, we both look out your living room window, and you understand that what you are seeing is neither illusion nor hallucination. " the entity sounds like it is either giving a sales pitch, or a sermon. In either case, it's a damn good one.
I hold a nondescript white envelope long enough for my damp hands to stain it before i open one end, it's contents facing the thing sitting across from me.
It didn't miss a single word.
Without a sound he rises from the chair with a flourish, walking over and parting the curtains of my livingroom window.
I follow, i see New York at 4 a.m. , strange as it may be, i'm not seeing anything that would prove the universe has misplaced me.
"The name is Demitrious by the way. Not that you've asked.
Do you see the store on the corner?" Demitrious says.
"Of course..." something starts to turn in my poison soaked brain. "that wasn't there yesterday , was it?"
The ghoul smiles, "It most certainly was not, nor will it be by the time daylight shines on these syringe strewn streets.
That store is one of many oddities this corner of reality has to offer.
You started your...career, after seeing evidence of the worst humanity has to offer, am i correct, Michael?"
The shift in conversation has me edgy.
"Fuck you" i say as the first part of my statement, adding " But, yeah." after i was sure he understood my initial point.
"And to set you to action, to get you to the point where you were willing to kill, to maim, to torture, it took seeing this first hand, right?
Well i have a feeling it's going to take the same kind of thing happening here to shake you from this ennui filled little cocoon of a life.
We will sit we will...." He keeps going, but , i get it.
I can't slap myself in the face and suddenly be at 100 per cent, but as i piece together what's going to happen my heart starts to race, my hands flex and i feel my old friends, adrenaline and anxiety try their best to get my brain working.
Step one is disgusting, and as i jam a finger down my throat, spewing nearly liquid vomit into the sink, i hear Demitrious stop going on about spooky bullshit.
Step two starts with my swishing around a mouthfull of off brand energy drink and spitting it onto the floor. I shotgun the other 5 cans in the case , keeping the sickly sweet beverage down by sheer force of will.
"Michael, what are you doing?" The spectre says, his tone less composed, almost a little fearful.
"It's simple D " i begin, walking to my washroom, and rummaging through the medicine cabinet , "If i'm going nuts, then we are going to know about it real quick when i go down to that store and cause some shit.
If i'm not, well, we must not be all that much alike if you think i'm going to sit up here and watch some folks get killed or hurt by a haunted convenience store. "
I find what i'm looking for. And hell no i'm not going to tell you anything other than it's common and in extremely high doses it's a very potent upper.
I finish the bottle in eight heaving breaths, my pupils contracting to pinpoints.
"This isn't the kind of thing you can... punch Michael." the spectre follows me as i put together a few bits and pieces from around the apartment. I could vainly call the stubby pipe filled with solder a truncheon, and the bottle i fit into an inside pocket of a waist length coat is filled with a combination of flammable material that could be described as a malotov cocktail, if someone felt like being generous.
"Probably not, but you seem to need me around, so i'm sure you're going to step between me and whatever's down there. "
My tone is petulant, i'd much rather confidence, but at the moment it's a miracle i'm still awake, so i'll take what i can get.
"Step between? Have you not been listening? The extent of what i am, is a vision to a mentally unstable vigilante, and even that is coming at great cost and effort.
I apologise for my ...method of communication. it was callous, i'm too used to dealing with things, not people.
But if we play our cards exactly..." I interrupt the (possible) ghost before he has a chance to get going.
I can feel the cocktail of low grade stimulants starting to make me twitch, i need them right now , they keep me edgy, and mean, and much like the punk rock pioneers from new york who made those words famous, i wasn't about to take any shit from a bad xerox of me with a british accent.
"Fuck, you're under the impression this is a debate aren't you?
No, friend, i'm going down there, then i'm going to try to throw a monkey wrench into whatever situation is unfolding, win, lose or draw. " my words are clear, well, clearer than they have any right to be anyway.
"You cannot let your...lust to be a savior get us killed Michael. " Demitrious says , the black pits of his eyes locking to mine.
"D, i'm going to let you in on a little secret, because we're so closely connected and all.
I don't give a shit about being a saviour, to anyone.
I didn't find my manhood when i saw what that sick bastard did to his own family.
I broke, D.
That first night, i didn't plan on walking away.
I didn't want to.
If it had gone the way i knew it should, i'd have would up on a bullet train to hell right behind the evil prick i put down.
But instead, i just kept going deeper into the worst places the world had to offer. I'm no vigilante , or saviour, i've been trying to commit suicide by sociopath for ten years and failing miserably.
Maybe monsters can do what men can't, let's go find out. " the laugh i punctuate this monologue with is thin and sick.
It's not the whole truth, but it's enough to make D understand i'm not bluffing.
I briefly think of putting on some attempt at my...traditional outfit, but, something doesn't feel right.
If i were to put a finger on it, the concept of dressing scary in a world with real monsters, seems kind of sad.
My grin spreads as this thought gives me my first inklings of a plan.
"So, what am i getting into?" i say, breaking the silence between D and myself as we exit the lobby of the apartment building.
"You could take an 8 year course on what you are brazenly acosting, and still not get past it's names. " Demitrious shakes his head, " But you seem more like a broad strokes person. So i'll do my best.
It's old, dark and violent. Probably been around longer than most languages, and out of all the shapes it could take, now it chooses to be a store to do it's dirty work.
You can't break it, or burn it, blow it up or encase it.
It is the kind of thing you leave alone and remain thankful it only takes a handful of people from time to time. " I actually hear a bit of respect from D.
"Leave alone and remain thankful it only takes a handful of people?" I reply, my first attempt at matching Demitrious' voice. Mimicry, a skill I never thought my life would depend on.
It's far off the mark, and raises suspicion from the apparition.
"What was that?" it asks.
"Nothing, just messing with you.
So, what, even someone like you just lets this kinda thing do what it wants? Under optimal circumstances i mean. " I keep the goad subtle, sounding genuinely curious.
"In better days?
If i felt the urge i'd whisper a long dead name of mine to the void-wretch before weaponizing esoterica that it would fear out of instinct. " i hear longing in his boast.
"Fear out of instinct." i repeat, my second attempt much better than my first, but still lacking, an impression, as opposed to true mimicry.
I see a group of four men, college aged, drunk, and the only people besides myself anywhere in sight. I don't even ask if they are the intended victims as the run down old bodega seems to come to life, lights shining from within.
None of them notice, or if they do, they don't seem to care, drunken demands for snacks and poorly stored meat ring out in the night as they enter the store.
As the door closes, i feel my blood run cold despite the dutch courage and hillbilly cocaine, i should easily be able to see the men inside the store, but as the cheerful "ding" sounds , and the portal seals, i see nothing but booze, snacks and slowly rotating processed meat.
As i walk closer the lights dim and the sign flips from open to closed, though i couldn't tell you exactly when.
There's no feeling of unexplained dread, or nagging fear, no cold sweat or creepy breath on the back of my neck. But as i stand in front of the outdated, tiny bodega, i know, for a fact, death waits inside.
"I don't think we have been properly introduced, forgivable considering my short time in this little town." It's not perfect, it has a Rik Mayal flavor to it i need to iron out, but the accent is close enough. The look on Demitrious' face tells me he understands my plan.
"This is the worst plan i've seen michael, and i say this with no hyperbole. " D says, angry, shocked, and worried all at the same time.
I pretend my leering smirk is toward the store-thing , but D is my real target.
"But before introductions, we need to discuss, how can i put this politely, shows of respect.
I'm no demon prince, no, my royal days are long behind me , i need no taxes, but a token of peace, well, that would just be polite , wouldn't it?" I'm overdoing it, taking wild stabs in the dark, judging by the frantic 'stop' motions from D none of which are coming close to reality.
But i'm not trying to to do this well. I'm trying to put my new friend in a position where he can't lie, see how much he really needs me alive.
"Just...stop." D says, giving me a look that makes me do just that, " No more of your pulp novel drek.
Stand like you have a spine, don't look at one spot, watch the building as a whole.
I don't like my hand being forced Michael, but if you need to play russian roulette with our lives, so be it.
Listen carefully..."
And i do.
But then i start to feel lightheaded, a sense of panic rising in me.
Mental illness and cognitive dissonance are the worst mind fuck of any cerebral orgy.
I freeze, thinking , for a moment of what this would look like to anyone passing by. A drugged out man screaming at a broken down old store long past closing. Having imaginary conversations with hallucinations that seem to actively hate him.
For years, realising when i've gone too far down a rabbit hole to see objectively has kept me from going insane. But trying to square the evidence around me, with the rules i know about reality is causing a mental storm strong enough to make me see black spots.
Or maybe it's the drugs, who knows.
I use it, taking a heaving breath before continuing my performance with demetrious' script.
"Subtlety not really your sport?
I am Demetrious of the Grey Warrens.
I was Silvio of the twelfth legion, those that never fell.
You do not wish to see what i have yet to become.
War or parlay? My time is valuable. " With words from his own mouth, my mimicry , though lacking his otherworldly tone, is flawless.
Hesitantly the lights rise to a dim shine, the sign flips to 'open', and one sliding door opens less than half way, forcing me to squeeze through.
In an instant all thoughts of insanity are flushed from my mind.
This place feels cold and humid somehow, the dim lights casting shadows that leap and flicker.
I feel as if there are people walking all around me, but nothing stops my progress, and no matter how hard i strain to see, it's clearly just myself in the building.
Small noises, glass jars rattling, bags of long expired food rustling, every inch of this place feels alive, and angry.
I once ran across a man, a sound engineer, who had pretty much perfected a way to induce small amounts of anxiety with subsonic frequencies. Got into the wrong hands, started a cult, it's a long story. The point is, it felt like adderall jitters with a small side of isolation. And at the time it was scary as hell, mild as it may have been.
True evil though, jesus christ, It feels more like a heartbeat. A living, pulsing thing, pressing in upon you.
I lean on the counter, it feels slick, the entire place reeks of old cigarette smoke and decay.
"The four from tonight, a one time fee, and you are free to attend to whatever business you have in my neighbourhood. " i say, letting my eyes wander around the store, not showing a seconds hesitation as i see glimpses of long, thin things, legs, or tentacles maybe, start to crawl from the darkest spots in this sodium ridden little hell.
"Tread lightly Michael. " Demitrious says, i like how nervous he is, i've accepted the reality of my situation, but i'll be dead before i let someone else take the lead in this dance.
The silence drags out, with every second the creeping, almost vine like appendages extend further into the store, probing with a a dull intellect.
I jump as the cigar case hanging above my head drops a pack of mold covered stogies onto the counter, the 4 pack has 2 remaining.
I understand what this thing is saying, but i don't have time to respond. My reaction, a slight jump, causes the thing to make it's move.
Three shelves slam into the counter, surrounding me, a half second later the lucite tobacco case falls, i crouch down, intending to leap out of the rapidly closing box, but before i can, swarms of those black, pointed, finger like appendages form a grasping, scratching roof.
Panic is too generic of a word to describe how i feel, as i see these otherworldly limbs twist through the cheap aluminum shelving , i feel small, like a gnat caught in the maw of some kind hell spawned toad.
Demitrious is saying something, but i can't make it out.
Slowly the pointed appendages push toward me, inch by inch, this place wants me to see my fate coming.
With a running start, and good posture, a grown man can blast through this kind of shelving without much effort or harm. Hunched over almost half way now, that situation changes drastically.
Luck seems to be on my side, this thing can do a lot, but the shelves themselves are just good old fashioned, milled by the lowest bidder metal.
I don't burst through, i slam myself into the shelves till metal clasps give, i feel twitching limbs start to gouge and claw my skin as my shoulder separates.
I get it back into place with another hunch backed body check to the shelving. It works, but the arm goes numb, useless, a nerve deep inside twisted and pinched.
I have no more room to twist, i can't get my opposite shoulder into position to finish the job.
Something rips a chunk of cartilage from my ear, the pain is blinding, i push down the urge to rage and scream, i'm doing more than surviving, i'm playing a role.
I slam my face into the shelf, using any bit of leverage i can to force my way through. 6 solid hits bend the cheap steel enough to get my shoulders , or at least most of them, through. With one final flesh tearing lunge i free myself, sprawled on the dirty black and white tile.
I get to my feet, making a show of brushing myself off. Blood is pouring out of me from dozens of gashes, and one arm is throbbing, useless.
This thing caught onto my lie, and made me pay. Now to normal people, once you get caught in a lie, you come clean. But one thing I've learned from scumbags of all types, is that you never come clean. It doesn't matter how many times you get caught in a bold faced falsehood, just how many half sensible possibilities you can put into someone's mind.
I stop trying to ape the ancient evil living in my head. I don't even have to think of the lie, it comes pouring out of me as easily as a drunken piss.
"Okay, so I'm not, he-of-the-too-many-names. I just thought that'd be an easy shortcut to our business here." I stalk toward the counter, ignoring the screaming pain throughout my body.
The trap this place tried to spring on me is a writhing mass of steel and black, greasy appendages, I supress a shudder as I think of what would have happened had I not sacrificed a decent amount of skin to escape.
The sound of my dripping blood provides an almost metronomic beat to my one sided conversation.
"But you want to know who I really am?
I'm the regular guy who found a way to put a leash on that long winded old bastard.
I'm the off kilter motherfucker who has a couple thousand years worth of power just begging to be let loose inside of his skull.
And pedigree or not, I'm the guy who's walking out of here with 4 live bodies to do with what I will.
And for being such a greedy prick, I'll take your two youngest to replace the two you've already ruined. "
I feel... Something, by the look on D's face, I think I struck a chord with this thing.
I'd call what Demitrious whispered to me words, but the sonic bastardization of language he relayed, verbal torture, would be a better description.
I smile as I enunciate each one with precision, the effect is immediate, and worldview shaking.
The walls begin to crack in the slightest ways, the dismal presence of the place eases, but personally I notice the tiny pieces of my tounge that pop and tear themselves free, more.
It's no more than two seconds, but in that time one of my back teeth has rotted into a black stump, and a sign saying " SORRY FOR THE INCONVIENCE!" drops in front of me, suspended at eye level with old, yellowed string.
I smirk, blood dripping from my torn lips.
Slowly, a door to a back room creaks open, I make the mistake of looking inside.
I know there is no way the massive field of victims and torture implements could fit in the backroom, I can see a horizon for fuck sakes, albeit, a crimson one with a forbidding yellow sky.
I feel sickened, humbled, grasping the scale of this thing for the first time.
But as requested, two of the four men, bruised, torn, and broken, mid twenties, and full of the kind of muscle that only comes from too much free time, come stumbling out of the unassuming door.
"Outside, and please, try to run, I'll find you." I say, no room for debate.
The two men comply as their counterparts, two identical twin girls, around 13 years old walk out of wherever the hell it is this thing keeps it's victims.
They don't seem to have been treated as rough as the jocks, but i feel a dark rage as I think of what this lecherous liquor store hand in mind for them.
"Wait outside" I say, casually walking around the store.
I want to be an outright bastard, to rub this in, to make this slap in the face something this collection of bricks, mortar, and evil remembers no matter how long it lives.
But I notice something, D, he's... Flickering, is the closest thing I can think of. His voice tinny, and indistinguishable.
I don't press my luck, leaving the store with nothing more than than a distainful look.
When I actually see all four waiting outside the store, I think a little bit less of their mental capabilities.
Protip kids, if a scary bastard tells you not to run away, chances are the best possible thing you can do, is run away.
"Follow me" I say, and to my surprise, the group does, and I find myself leading them like the God damned pied piper.
I try to plan on the run, marching the group, double time until I'm sure we are far enough away the Bestial Bodega.
I take the group deep into an alley, they want to hesitate, but shock and pain have made them all compliant. It takes nothing more than a sinister look to keep them moving deep into the foreboding laneway.
D keeps trying to get my attention, but whatever dial he uses, isn't tuned right. I can make out sounds, but no words, his form fading and warping.
I lean my back against the cold brick of the alley, taking in a series of long, heaving breaths.
First the pain sets in, I slide down the wall to a sitting position, tears staring to well. I feel the quarter sized piece of ear missing, and my mind starts to go through the litany of first aid I'll have to give myself.
Then, reality sets in, this reality. I don't have a quip, or a sly defferal, just the soul crushing knowledge that I'm caught up in some situation where I'm a pawn, at best. In a world that doesn't play by any of the rules I've spent the last decade or so learning.
I cry, and I shake. When I finally pull myself together I laugh at the look of shock and confusion of the faces of the group I saved.
The first guy to speak, asks me a question that seems out of left field as he offers his hand.
"You a hunter?" he says, gym rat accent making the question all the more strange, "Name's Vasily, bro."
I shake the man's hand and notice how torn up he is, I'm surprised he's still standing now that I have the time to survey his wounds.
"Me? No, I like guns, but never was able to pull the trigger on a deer.
I'm just some asshole that bluffed his way into saving you four." I say, my gaze drifting to the static ridden form of demitrious, wishing I knew what he was trying to say.
Something about the reaction of the two men, amused, and a little too happy, sets me on edge. These guys should be calling 911 before they collapse, not asking what recreational activities I enjoy.
Then I realize, I can't see the girls in the corner of my eye any more.
I look further, not moving my head, trying to seem casual, and still, I see neither of the two children.
"That being said, I wanted to ask you guys a few things about what all went down..." I say, making my way toward a dumpster where I see a small, black booted foot peeking out.
I adapt, it's what I do.
And we've all seen this part of the horror film before. Where our survivors make their way from whatever paranormal shit storm they were in, only to find out they storm hadn't quite passed yet.
I expect my kick to encounter something immovable, or maybe the opposite, intangible. I expect to see a look of rage, or malice, on the child's face as I head off it's attack.
I do not expect to feel a rib crack, and see a girl who is tiny, even for her age skid six feet across cold pavement, clutching her chest.
The other girl runs over, shocked and panicking.
I have just enough time to process my fuck up, then I hear it.
It's loud, and wet, like a room full of people playing Yahtzee with cubes of meat.
I turn, slowly, burnt out and shell-shocked from just the horror of the past hour or so.
But not so much that I don't say "Fuck me." as I see the source of the noise.
The two men now stand over seven feet, skin a sick greenish yellow, layers of mismatched and bulging muscle cover their bodies. Their eyes are transparent, glass like orbs. Teeth, flat, thin, almost whale like. Their clothing lays in a shredded pile on the ground.
But as they stand there, hulking, reeking and nude, I see the absolute critical nature of their wounds.
The fact vasily's voice didn't change one octave sends a chill down my spine.
"Sorry man, but your in a wrong place wrong time kinda situation.
See, me and my bro here, we got messed up real bad, and if we don't get something to eat real soon, we're gonna die.
Total respect for saving us and all, but we need a specific kind of protein, and you are the only one around that has it, no homo. " He fucking laughs.
So, suicide it is I guess.
The truncheon is small, has an awkward grip, but at the end of the day, is still three pounds of solid metal wielded by someone who knows where to apply it. Even if this thing has leather skin, and cement bones, a direct blow should crack them.
And I'm okay with this being my last act. Breaking a monster's jaw, not many people can claim that as the reason for their ticket to the pearly gates.
But no, the truncheon pops like a lightbulb, I don't even know if it managed to make contact.
I try to make a break for it, but Vasily grabs me, gently, by the shirt, faster than I can track, and with a grip I have no hope of breaking.
"I get it dude, it's a shitty deal, but hey, it'll be quick at least.
You think I feel good about this? Hell no, but gotta look out for number one, know what I'm saying?" Vasily let's go as he finishes.
"Do I have time for a smoke and a drink?" I say producing the steel flask, and a pack of cigarettes.
"Sure man, have a couple if ya want, we got a little bit." The ogre like thing answers.
I uncap the flask, putting it up to my lips, a few drops of the toxic combination rolling down my tongue as I push a small plastic bundle from the back of my cheek into the neck of the container.
I wipe my lips and toss the engraved gift in a garbage can about a foot behind the giants.
I light up a smoke, looking listlessly at the stars as I sit, some standing puddle soaking my pants.
My heart starts to race as the cigarette burns halfway. A cold sweat begins to break out as I taste filter, and throw the butt into the gloom of the alley.
I light up the second, trying not to let my fraying nerves take over.
See, when I was talking about my lackluster bomb earlier, I could have probably been more specific.
As far as punch goes, no issue. As far as safety goes? Also not a problem, as long as the dry and wet ingredients are kept separate, no issues there. What this particular chemical cocktail lacks is, consistency.
It's the kind of thing idiots across the world looking for a little bit of YouTube fame have blown off hands and set fires to houses with. The kind of blunt surgery chemistry that may take place in a minute, a second or a few hours.
My hand is shaking as I grind the second cigarette butt into the ground, trying to think of some new way of stalling.
But for once in my entire God-hated life, luck is on my side.
For a half second there's a shrill tea kettle like noise, I curl into a ball, my face to the wall I was leaning against.
I don't see it, but I hear the dull, low speed Krump turn the garbage can into a tornado of steel and overpressure. Pinging shrapnel bounces through the alley.
I'm on my feet in an instant, looking for a clear path to run. But through the dim lights, and acrid black smoke, I don't think I need to.
Vasily lays on the ground, dazed, one leg severed, entrails spilling. The look of rage on the twisted monster's face as it drags itself toward me, says more than the stream of threats it utters ever could.
It's partner got the shitty end of the stick. Torn open from neck to crotch, it twitches and speaks in a language that sounds like Cyrillic anarchy.
My ears ring, and I'm sure I'm sporting a handful of new wounds, but I smile.
I kneel on the nameless giant's chest, raising a massive, jagged spur from the garbage can. My right knee slips, sinking into the thing's chest.
What I do next is half experiment and half revenge. I drive the metal shard into the beast's eye. It stops it more than any organ has a right to, but not before the makeshift knife goes in almost three quarters of an inch.
The creature bellows, still together enough to feel pain.
Vasily finds some reserve of energy, propelling himself at me, headless of the quantity of his internals he's leaving behind.
I lock eyes with him.
"The only thing you are going to do is make this worse for him." I say, panting as I twist the blade.
Try as I might, one armed, I can't manage to make the spike penetrate past the ogre's eye.
Three solid stomps though, and this nameless horror stops twitching.
I'm riding high, feeling invincible, as, with a one legged leap, I'm pinned to the ground by several hundred pounds of dying monster.
One arm pins me to the ground as vasily starts to open his jaw, it extends past his collarbone exposing a reeking maw filled with row upon row of those flat, whale like teeth.
But before he can fall upon me, something catches his attention.
One of the girls stands mere feet away, her eyes swirling black and white fractal images, the same images swirl and break in the eyes of the ogre.
I slide out from under him without protest, suddenly the least of his worries.
"I can't keep this up much longer." the girl says.
You know the saying about gift horses.
I drive my hands deep within Vasily, grabbing handfuls of broken, pulsing entrails. I don't give him a death worthy of his flippantly callous attitude, but I most certainly get an A for effort.
My brain, and my body are past their limit.
I see D, clearly.
"Where were you with some of those magic words?" I say, my vision starting to swoon.
"Michael, I've worn myself much too thin.
You've forced me to expend resources I do not have.
Now get home, if I am lucky I can give you your destination, though I'd hoped to give you guidance as well." D is frantic, but I get it.
I don't remember passing out, but I do remember waking up to 2 shocked tween faces, and a cross country map written on an old newspaper sitting on my chest.
One of the girls speaks.
" I'm Tina, this is Annette, and we were wondering if we could ask you something..."
submitted by HughEhhoule to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]


2024.03.07 21:53 Shoddy_Worry_6437 Chilling Camping Encounter

When I was 16, my life changed forever. I had broken my back in a bad accident and was bedridden for months, unable to move. The pain was excruciating, but the psychological toll was even worse - being trapped in a hospital bed, staring at the same four walls day after day. But I was determined to recover and get my life back.
As soon as the doctors cleared me, I decided I needed to get out into nature to truly heal my mind and body. My mum agreed that a camping trip down in the beautiful Devon countryside might be just what I needed. She dropped me off at a remote forested area with my tent, some supplies, and a portable charger to keep my phone powered up.
I had scoped out what looked like the perfect isolated spot to set up camp. Sure, it seemed to be on private land, but it was getting late and I didn't want to risk camping too close to a public area. I quickly pitched the tent as darkness fell, cracked open a cider, and fired up YouTube on my phone as I settled in to relax.
That's when things took a turn for the sinister. I noticed my phone battery was draining faster than it should, even while charging. Strange, but I tried not to think too much of it. That's when I heard it - the unmistakable sound of heavy footsteps tramping through the underbrush, rapidly getting closer. My heart pounded - it sounded like at least 30 footfalls. Was it an aggressive hiker? Or worse, a property owner with a shotgun?
In a panic, I unzipped the tent and stuck my hands up, preparing to face whoever was out there. But there was...nothing. Just the eerie silence of the forest. The footsteps that had been nearly on top of me just seconds before simply faded into an unnatural nothingness.
A deep sense of dread washed over me in that moment. Something was horribly wrong here. I turned my head slowly, my gut telling me I wasn't alone. And that's when I saw it - barely 20 feet away, unmoving yet undoubtedly alive. A massive, skeletal beast around 5 feet tall, vaguely resembling a hairless, emaciated dog. Its blank face was frozen in a permanent bestial snarl, lips pulled back to expose rows of jagged teeth.
I've never felt such primal, wordless terror. Fight or flight didn't even enter into it - I instinctively scrambled backwards into the tent and zipped it up, curling into a tight ball on the floor. My mind had simply shut down, overloaded by the sight of that...thing.
After who knows how long, I somehow thought to check my phone in desperation. It was completely drained, so I frantically swapped in the portable charger. An agonizing 50 minutes crawled by before it finally turned back on with just 3% battery remaining.
With shaking hands, I managed to text my mum a frantic plea for help, dropping my location pin and a pre-arranged code phrase for an emergency extraction. The phone died again before she could respond. All I could do was hunker down in my sleeping bag and try not to imagine what sort of ungodly abomination was lurking just outside those thin nylon walls.
The next few hours passed like a waking nightmare. Every minor sound - a snapping twig, a rustling bush - sent panicked visions through my mind of that towering, bony creature closing in for the kill.
Finally, I heard the blessed rumble of an engine in the distance. Risking a peek outside, I nearly collapsed with relief at the sight of my mum's car pulling up. I didn't even wait for the code response - I just grabbed my bag and sprinted straight for her open arms, leaving the tent and all my other belongings behind without a second thought.
To this day, I have no rational explanation for what I encountered out in those woods. Maybe it was a delirious hallucination or vivid waking dream brought on by stress and fatigue. Maybe it was just an unfortunate trick of light and shadow playing on my already-frayed nerves. All I know is that I've never felt such abject, primal terror before or since. My body was robbed of all ability for rational thought or action - only the most básic instincts for self-preservation remained.
I'm not generally someone who believes in the supernatural. But that day in Devon will eternally be burned into my psyche as an omen - a warning from the universe that some places are better left undisturbed by human trespassers. If I had pressed on with my ill-fated camping excursion, I shudder to think what other shadowed monstrosities might have surfaced from the murky depths of that ancient woodland.
submitted by Shoddy_Worry_6437 to TrueScaryStories [link] [comments]


2024.03.07 00:38 carlosblue_14 The End of Copper-9: Chapter 6

J walked in circles in front of the ship while talking to herself.
J: I have to stay here alone while she is with those psychopaths, ugh, if it weren't for the fact that they are orders from a superior I-
He growled as she tried to calm down and think that everything would be okay.
J: Relax, J. Tessa is a certified technician for the company; she knows what she does. It's not like she left with highly dangerous strangers who tried to kill her before...
She paused, reflecting.
J: Damned!
She opened her wings and flew after them, with a bad feeling.

Meanwhile, Cabin Fever Labs Underground
AAAAHHHH!
They screamed as they plummeted into the elevator.
Tessa: Do something!
Uzi: What do you think we're doing?!
She said as she and Doll tried to use their Solvers to stop the elevator or at least cushion the fall, the symbols manifested at the base of the elevator to try to stop it, but it finally reached its destination and crashed to the ground.
Tessa: *coughs* Are you okay?
Uzi: What do you think?
She complained as she tried to get Doll off of her, which she responded by hitting her head before getting up.
Uzi: Hey!
The group began to struggle out of the elevator, grateful to be still alive.
Alice: Okay… Now what?
Tessa: Find the control room and get the drones data list.
Uzi: Why exactly do you want a list of data?
He said suspiciously, Tessa sighed and spoke.
Tessa: Because, I need to know which drones are affected by the solver and prevent it from spreading further, many worlds have already been lost because of that thing, and I am willing to do what is necessary to achieve it.
She and Doll looked at the human girl and manifested the symbols at her.
Uzi: And this? I mean, we've been doing it practically the entire time.
Tessa: I mean, yes, but outside of you two we don't know what other drones could be infected and...
Uzi: Yes, yes, we must kill them, we are clear about it.
The human girl looked at them somewhat confused by the way she was acting.
Tessa: You act very calm about all this.
Uzi: Well, we've fought angels of death, an eldricht being that wants to consume reality, immortal zombie robot gods, and a fucking T-rex that shoots solar flares from its mouth... yeah, honestly this isn't as emotionally deadly as one I would wait.
The rest just stayed silent.
Alice: What the fuck?
Tessa: Ok, you really have to start telling me what the hell has been going on here, it bothers me that you hide things from me.
Uzi: I understand that, but anyway, let's do it while we walk, this is going to be a VERY long story.

Cabin Fever Labs Surface
J landed and asked as he walked.
J: Tessa? N? V?... Anyone?
She asked a little worried, obviously she didn't get an answer, she looked at the place where she had left that "thing" sitting and saw several marks on the ground.
J: I knew couldn't trust them!
She quickly headed to the secret elevator, and prepared to fight whatever was there, she hid behind the wall before entering and changed her hand to a cannon, took a deep breath and-
GRRR
Just as he was going to leave, one of the corrupt sentries fell to the ground screaming, a force that dragged him back to where he came from, J froze and heard sounds of gunshots, metal being cut and oil splashing, he breathed again before jump forward.
J: Very well, you better-
He stopped before what he saw, the hallway was full of mutilated sentinels, in the middle was that improved zombie, holding the body of a sentinel, he looked at her and seemed somewhat confused.
Thad: Uhhhh. Hello?.
J:…What the hell are you doing here? Where are everybody?
He asked pointing the gun at him, a scream was heard in the background followed by a gunshot.
Thad: Follow. Me.
He said as she let go of the raptor's corpse, she hesitated for a few seconds, but then she started walking behind him, as she moved forward she could notice how the whole place was a mess, with the dead sentinels everywhere.
J: What happened?
Thad: That.
Pointing to the still, mangled body of the robotic tyrannosaurus, J's jaw dropped as she stared at the large dead creature.
J: Did you do that?
She said worrying if she could really do anything against that thing if it turns out that she did it to her boss.
Thad: No. Alone.
He pointed to the side and V arrived throwing the body of a dead sentry.
V: Hahaha, I'm 35 more than you.
She scoffed as she stuck her tongue out at him, the creature rolled its only eye and looked at J.
Thad: What? Look for?.
She hesitated before answering.
J: Where are Tessa and the others?
He pointed to the hole in the middle of the hallway.
V: They went down to look for whatever they are looking for.
J: And what are you doing here?
V: Someone had to take care of these things, you know? I planned to epically sacrifice myself for others, until “Someone!” I ruin the moment.
She complained as she looked at the zombie boy.
Thad: You're welcome.
V: Fuck you, I swear I'll do the same for you if I have the chance.
She scoffed, then squeals were heard from the distance along with some flashes.
V: Ok, more are coming.
He turned off her optics to prevent her from being affected by the flashing lights and turned her hands into swords.
V: Don't think you can reach my score.
He mocked the zombie boy who sharpened his claws against the ground, J looked at them for a few seconds and rolled his eyes.
J: Of course they would be perfect for each other, they are both equally crazy.
He complained before launching himself down the hole and going with the rest of the group as the two psychopathic assassins prepared to face another wave of corrupted sentinels.

Cabin Fever Underground
Tessa: So let me see if I understand this.
She said as she and the group continued walking.
Tessa: Basically the company found some kind of “alien quantum computer” floating in space and they destroyed it.
Uzi: Yes.
Tessa: Then they used their remains to create the cores and from these, they created you, the worker drones.
Uzi: Basically
Tessa: And these are actually… What did you call them?
Uzi: Immortal ancient zombie robot gods?
Tessa:…
Uzi: What? It sounds cooler than saying mechanical monster.
The human girl rolled her eyes and continued.
Tessa: Sure... From what you told me, each type of drone comes from a different core, and you destroyed yours... By throwing it into a black hole?
Uzi: Technically we just blew up the ship he tried to use to destroy the planet.
Doll: Ты чуть не убил нас этим.
N: Come on, it wasn't a bad plan either.
Tessa: And now you say that, according to you, the core that was on Earth came here?
Uzi: Well, yeah, he possessed Thad and kept calling them sons, so I guess he got here somehow.
Tessa: But that wouldn't be possible.
Uzi: Why?
N: The earth was destroyed by Cyn, or something else.
She stared at them before looking at Doll, then she looked back at them.
Uzi: DAMN IT! Why do they always get ahead of me?!
Tessa: Uh, what?
Doll: We planned after this to go to Earth and kill all the humans in revenge for sending those psychopaths.
She said pointing at N.
Uzi: No offense.
N: Don't worry.
Tessa: So, ignoring that, now I not only have to worry about the Absolute Solver, but also a series of mechanical monsters that the company uses to- ugh, I feel like my head is hurting.
Alice: No way.
She said just as confused by all of this, she looked at Beau who had a loading symbol on her screen trying to process everything they were saying, she hit him on the head and made him react.
Alice: Idiot
Tessa: You didn't know any of this?
Alice: No, I've been too busy trying to survive down here to worry about the crazy stuff on the surface, and I honestly think it was the right thing to do.
Tessa: Okay, anyway, let's move on.
She said a little frustrated, everything she thought she knew about the threats to humanity had just changed, and to make matters worse the company was completely aware of this AND SEEMED TO GIVE A FUCK!... yes, maybe she should have gone to therapy to overcome her feelings. childhood traumas instead of obsessing over the revenge thing when he had the chance.
J: Tessa!
They heard J's voice behind them, she flew quickly and stopped in front of the group.
Tessa: J? What are you doing here?
J: Don't listen to anything they tell you!
She said annoyed looking at Uzi and the others.
Uzi: Very late, silly.
N: How is V?
Uzi: And Thad.
J: Ugh, those two are more than fine, rather I would say that the sentinels are the ones who need help.
Tessa: J, I know everything, the cores, these... things that the company uses to create the drones.
J: Tessa, you can't believe everything they tell you, they're just-
Tessa: Did you know that?
She questioned her former friend upon seeing her little reaction to her revelation.
J: Well, me.
Tessa: Did you know that? Yes or no?
J exhaled deeply before answering.
J: Well, yes, when they sent us, they told me that we had to contain that thing, not eliminate it, I didn't know they used it to create the drones, although I guess I already know why they ordered us to get rid of these toasters.
She said dismissively as Uzi and Doll looked at each other unfazed.
Uzi: And you seriously thought that using your body to restrain her was a good idea?
J: It was until you disintegrated half my body, “I wonder how it went?”
He mocked knowing that that thing escaped and surely massacred many drones in the colony.
Uzi: Hey, that's not-!
Doll: Нет-нет-нет, он прав.
The emo girl looked at her angry and feeling betrayed by the Russian girl.
J: Anyway, when you brought me back, I was ordered to accompany you not only to take care of you, but so that you wouldn't discover the truth behind the cores.
The human girl stared at her.
Tessa: And why didn't they want me to find out about all this?
J: I don't know, I was just following orders, besides, I'm not even supposed to know this! The company is going to kill us.
Tessa: Not if Cyn or any of those things does it first.
She said knowing that some of those things were locked down there ready to kill them all, although she finally snapped out of her thoughts when they reached a closed door.
Tessa: Is it this way?
Alice: Yeah, it's not like I could walk freely through the hallways when they had me locked up, but I do remember where we left.
She said before opening the door... only to find a white metal wall covering it.
Alice: Huh?
She said as she saw the road blocked.
Uzi: It shows.
Alice: What? No! There was supposedly a hallway here.
Doll: Может ты не правильно помнишь?
Alice: Shut up! Ugh, let's go the other way.
The group began to walk in another direction to take another path, however, when they opened the next door, it was also blocked by that white metal wall.
Alice: Ugh.
Again they retreated and looked for another entrance, only to be greeted by that white wall blocking their path, again they tried and the same result, then they tried again, and again, and again, but always the same.
Alice: This has to be a joke!
She complained, punching the white wall, though she quickly removed her hand.
Uzi: “Cool”, any ideas?
She complained as Alice placed her hand back on the white wall.
Uzi: Hey, is something wrong?
She did not respond, instead he raised the knife from her tail and stabbed the white wall with it, contrary to what anyone would think, it went through the metal with surprising ease and a black liquid began to leak.
Tessa: What?
Uzi walked over and ran his finger over the leak before putting it in his mouth.
N: Uzi? Is she sure-?
Uzi: It's oil.
"She said as the cut in the metal wall began to close itself.
N:…Is that supposed to happen?
Uzi: No.
Tessa: Ugh, we can't keep wasting time on this, J.
The aforementioned turned her hands into claws and crossed the metal wall, opening a large hole and splashing oil in the process, however, it began to close somewhat quickly, J acted quickly and tried to hold the edges of the hole to prevent it from it will close.
J: A little help, don't you think?!
She complained, N of her quickly proceeded to help her by holding one of the sides of the hole to prevent it from closing completely, Uzi turned her hands into claws and began to destroy the inside of her making his way while the others followed her.

???
Cuts could be heard inside that metal wall followed by some frustrated grunts from Uzi.
Uzi: Wait, why the hell am I doing this?! Hey you, baby spider! Blow up that thing.
Alice: Nobody gives Beau orders! Except me! Shoot!
A loud explosion occurred and the other side of the wall exploded, allowing the group to leave, although they were completely covered in oil.
Tessa: Ugh, this will take a while to clean up.
She complained as she came out of the hole followed by N and J, the place was dark the disassemblers had to turn their hands into flashlights to illuminate the place.
Uzi: Well? Where we are?
He asked the wendigo girl, the place was different from the rest of the facility, it was partially cylindrical with some openings in the floor, as well as several cables and large mechanical pieces protruding from the walls.
Alice: Uh... No idea.
Uzi: “Cool”, now what?
N: Hey look.
He pointed to something that came out of the wall partially merged with that white wall that prevented their passage before, the group steeled themselves and glimpsed what it was.
Tessa: What the hell?
He said as he saw what appeared to be a disassembler, but his body was partially melted and fused to the wall, as if he had tried to get out. The creature wasn't a normal disassembler either; His body seemed to want to emulate the biological, maintaining its mechanical appearance. It had long claws on its hands and feet, its jaw showed a huge smile with sharp teeth, and its visor was covered by two black protuberances that seemed to imitate organic eyes.
Tessa: What's that supposed to be?
Alice: He looks like you, but, you know, even uglier.
She said offending J and N, perhaps more to the former than the latter.
Uzi: It's like in your memories.
She said to the silver-haired boy, who looked with some fear at the body stuck to the wall.
Tessa: What? Now are you going to tell me that there were these things at the gala too?
Uzi: Well, yeah.
Tessa:…
Uzi: But, they were dead, along with some of those corrupted “Cyn” drones.
Tessa: So, some kind of defective mutation?
Uzi: No, they were more like, they had murdered each other, like they weren't on the same side.
Alice: What? "Trouble in paradise?"
She scoffed, as Uzi and Tessa looked at her.
Alice: What?
Uzi: Ugh, you better be alert.
She said looking at the creature stuck to the wall as she pulled out her gun.
Uzi: We don't know if there are more of those things around here.
The group began to walk away from that area, without realizing that the being had slowly begun to look at them.
The group continued walking through the darkness, observing the surroundings and realizing something.
Tessa: Ok, in short, we are no longer in Cabin Fever.
She said, observing the surroundings, the further they walked the metal walls curved differently and opened, branching into several large tunnels that an entire shipping ship could easily pass through.
Uzi: It looks like some transfer zone.
She said as they continued to move forward.
N: Hey, what is that?
He said pointing to one of the paths, the group decided to investigate and entered the tunnel. In the distance, they saw lights that turned out to be those frozen "disassemblers", with their eyes showing charging symbols, affected by the sentinels lights.
Uzi: Oh, “fantastic,” there are more sentinels down here.
She said somewhat irritated by those creatures, Alice approached them and began to examine them.
Uzi: What are you doing?
Alice: They are like that other one, but it seems that their optics were melted by the flash of the sentries and they were left in this frozen state.
Uzi: That's obvious, but they'll do it again in a few minutes, I mean, they're disassemblers.
Tessa: Yes, but if what you say is true, it means that their systems still detect that their optics are working, as if they were not damaged.
Uzi: Well, at least that means one less problem.
J: Let's better go find the control room to get the information and get out of this place once and for all.
With that, the group began to retreat, looking for the control room with the information they needed, when they heard a rustling noise.
Tessa: What was that?
They immediately turned around, but there was nothing strange, those things were still petrified without moving, although Tessa could swear that one of them was in a different position.
Uzi: Maybe it was nothing.
She said as the group began to leave.
Tessa:… “Sure.”
She said suspiciously, he looked at the frozen creatures for a while and then turned around, he heard the sound of something scraping and they immediately turned again.
Tessa: What the hell?!
She shouted when he saw that now all the creatures were looking at them, even with their eyes with the charging symbol.
Uzi: I thought you said they were frozen?
Alice: That's supposed to be!
Tessa: It doesn't matter anymore.
The group began shooting at the beasts before attacking. However, surprisingly, the creatures did not move. They remained static, motionless even as the bullets passed through them and they fell to the ground, as if they were made of rock.
Tessa: Uh, hey, wait a second.
The group stopped their attack and the human girl approached one of them who was lying on the ground as a result of the gunshots.
J: boss, what are you doing?
Tessa: Wait a second... Could you close your eyes for a second?
N: Why?
Tessa: Just, I need to check something.
The group looked at each other and shrugged, they turned off their optics and the human girl stared at the group of creatures in front of her, she slowly narrowed her eyes and...
Blink
Tessa: Damned!
N: Tessa?!
They quickly activated her optics and approached her, she was on the ground while that creature towered over her with its mouth open ready to bite her, J turned her hand into a sword and jumped forward, cutting the monster in half.
J: Are you okay?
Tessa: Yes.
N turned his hands into machine guns ready to fight the oncoming tide of beasts, but they remained petrified, although now they looked at the group, showing their sharp teeth and with their arms extended in their direction.
Uzi: What the hell is wrong with them?
Tessa: Weeping Angels
He coughed a little as she stood up, the group turned to look at her, but she quickly panicked.
Tessa: Don't stop looking at them!
He shouted, they quickly turned their gaze and those things were closer than before.
Alice: What the-?!
Tessa: They're FUCKING weeping angels.
Everyone stayed silent looking at her confused.
Uzi:…And that's it?
Tessa:… Um, Weeping Angels?
Everyone shrugged.
Tessa: Dr. Who?
Uzi: Who?
Tessa: Ugh, a TV series, these things are like fucking weeping angels, they won't move while we're watching them.
Uzi: How are you so sure about that?
Tessa: It seems that her optics tried to repair themselves when they were stunned, but the sentinels must have tried to avoid them and stayed like that.
She said before looking at J.
Tessa: J, flares.
The drone girl nodded and turned her hand into a flare gun, firing into the tunnel. The fire bullet passed through the creatures, partially illuminating the place and revealing THOUSANDS of the petrified things in the distance, clinging to the walls and watching the group.
Uzi:…Well, maybe it's better to find another way.
Tessa: Right, although it's not like they're going to be a problem, I mean, you just have to look at them so they don't-
Flash
A flash was seen, everyone turned and saw a sentry with yellow eyes and some yellow bumps on its back in the distance, sniffing the flare that was on the ground, the creature screeched and several more flashes emerged from the background.
Everyone slowly began to look at Tessa.
Uzi: You know, I think I know where V learned to do “that” from.

Later
The group ran through large metal tunnels, pursued by sentinels and creatures that screamed as they chased them.
Uzi: Damn.
She growled shooting backwards with her eyes closed, praying a bullet would hit those things.
J: Are they getting closer?
Uzi: How do you want me to see?!
She growled, because looking at the sentries would freeze them, but not doing so would allow the other things to move, the only option was to run and shoot blindly.
They emerged from the tunnels into a more open area with a metal bridge over a deep void leading to a mechanical door on the other side.
Uzi: Let's go quickly!
She yelled shooting at the beasts next to J and N, Tessa walked past her until she noticed some pipes on the ceiling.
Tessa: Hey! Russian girl!
Doll: У меня есть имя, ты знаешь?
Tessa: Yeah, whatever, entertain them for a while, J! N! With me!
He looked at her with annoyance as she created a barrier to keep the sentinels and "disassemblers" at bay. The sentinels were trying to freeze it, and with their eyes closed, the other beasts were trying to break through the barrier.
N: What's happening?
Tessa: Shoot that.
She said pointing to the metal tubes on the ceiling; They began shooting, destroying them and releasing what appeared to be acid onto the beasts.
J: How did you know it was acidic?
Tessa: I didn't know, my idea was for it to fall and crush them, but this still works.
Although the acid fell on the creatures, it did not seem to affect them, but it did corrode the metal bridge, creating a hole in the middle as they fell.
Tessa: I think we better go.
She said as they hurried away, Alice ran along with Beau, but one of those things was climbing over the edge to avoid being seen, it lunged at them and tried to stab Alice with its claws.
Alice: Quick, shoot!
She screamed, clinging to Beau, but he was too scared to do anything. Behind her, another of those things surprised Alice, and she threw the baby at the other, causing him to wrap around her head. The wendigo looked at the other paralyzing him and using her tail she stabbed him in his face, splitting his head open. Then, she went towards the other and pushed him to make him fall into the void, but she forgot about Beau and the creature grabbed him before falling.
Alice: N-No
She quickly ran to the edge to look for it, it emerged being held by one of Doll's symbols, who reacted in time to save the baby spider.
Doll: Are you okay?
He nodded, still shaking as he walked past Alice, looking at her before lowering his head and walking away from her. The girl tried to say something, but she decided it was better to stay silent.
Tessa: Well, this turned out better than I thought.
Uzi: You almost killed us with this stupid plan!
Doll: How are you doing?
Uzi growled at the comment, the group approached the metal door, only to notice that it had a panel to place a key.
Uzi: And the password?
J: Tessa is a company technician, she knows that, right, boss?
He said confidently, making the girl laugh nervously, since to tell the truth, she never expected to get this far, she thought she would die before even entering Cabin Fever Labs and now she was about to put an end to this madness, yes, Life takes quite curious turns when it wants to.
GRRR
Suddenly they heard a roar and turned to see that one of those things had managed to survive climbing part of the slope where they were, but it immediately became paralyzed upon being seen. Although they were shocked at first, they quickly recovered when they realized that he couldn't harm them as long as they saw him.
Alice approached and pushed him into the void, causing the creature to scream as he left her field of vision and hurtled towards nothing.
Alice: Well, that was something.
Uzi: Wait.
She said before approaching the edge of the cliff and looking down.
Uzi: Oh, this has to be a joke.
She said seeing that those things were not giving up as they were now climbing the rock wall to reach them.
Uzi: Human! Hurry up and open that door!
He shouted as she began shooting at the creatures who froze at the sight, only for her gun to stop firing and a beep to announce that she had run out of power.
Uzi: AARGGHH, REALLY!
N and J quickly went and started shooting the petrified things so they wouldn't keep going up, Tessa quickly started typing in the passcode, only to hear a beep indicating it was wrong.
Tessa: What?!
She quickly typed again only to receive the same result, then tried again but the same thing happened.
Tessa: Why not?! Stupid machine!
I punched the wall in frustration.
Uzi: Hey! Why don't you open that damn door?
Tessa: Wait a second!
She said as she entered another code.
23541
Incorrect password
51268
Incorrect password
98818
Incorrect password
ARRRGH
The girl growled in frustration as J called out to her.
J: Hey boss, not to criticize you, but you could hurry up with that!
The human girl then decided to play her last card.
11111
Password accepted
Tessa:…I can't believe it worked.
The door opened and she entered.
Tessa: Get in quick!
Immediately everyone ran inside and closed the door, which was automatically blocked. The creatures managed to scale the wall and tried to cut the metal door, but it turned out that it was stronger than expected.
Tessa: Phew, that was close.
She said in relief before looking at the rest of the group, who were... well, trying to get through these traumatic moments as best they could.
Uzi: Can we go and finish this once and for all?
She complained, already tired of all this.
Tessa: Well.
He said as he walked down the hallway towards the other “room”, the metal door would have shown the other side, which turned out to be a huge room, which, on the back wall, had some kind of sophisticated computer that was partially damaged but still functional, with several cables extending from it to the surroundings.
Uzi: Is it supposed to look like this?
Tessa: Uh, no.
She said as the group began to approach the device, looking in all directions in case more sentinels or those wild disassemblers appeared.
Uzi: Keep your eyes open, we don't want any more surprises.
As they walked, they noticed some things, like the ceiling was a kind of black glass that covered it in its entirety, along with some huge mechanical components attached to the walls, whatever it was, they finally arrived at the terminal, the screen was partially cracked, but still on, displaying a message.

ACCEPT COMMAND REQUEST
ENTER PASSWORD

The girl approached the keyboard and began to type something, she accepted and fortunately the computer unlocked, showing the command entries and lines of code.
Tessa: Well, I just have to search the database of the drones used for the experiments and we will have the list for-

ERROR

Tessa: What?
She asked confused as she saw an error message on the screen, suddenly several more messages appeared covering the screen.
N: What is happening?
Tessa: I don't know, I'll try to fix it.
She said somewhat alarmed, because if the computer failed and was corrupted, the entire infernal process they carried out to get to there would be in vain.

STARTING DATA RELEASE
STARTING SYSTEM: APOLLYON

Uzi: Wait what?

CHARGING
10%
17%
23%
28%

J: Tessa, what's happening?
Tessa: I don't know, maybe Cyn is trying to stop me-
Uzi: No, that's not Cyn, that phrase is-
???: GOD
Everyone froze as they heard a raspy voice come from the darkness, they pointed their weapons in their direction only to see a group of those corrupt disassemblers approaching them emerging from the shadows and machinery that covered the environment, unlike the previous ones, these did not paralyze when they were seen.
Uzi: Why CAN'T THIS NEVER BE EASY?!
He whined as one of those things came down the wall behind the computer.
???: There they are…
He said as his body twisted unnaturally and stood in front of the group, revealing the “α” symbol on his chest.
???: We have been waiting for you…
Tessa: Okay? And what the FUCK are you guys exactly?
The creature stared at her before starting to laugh, something that she spread to the rest of the beings.
Tessa: What's so funny?
???: Don't you remember us?
Tessa: Uh...
She looked at her companions who seemed confused just like her and simply shrugged.
Tessa: No
The creature looked at her before advancing towards her.
???: Well, how curious, we, if we do...
He said, even advancing even further this time it seemed like she was going to do something to him.
J: Don't even think about it.
She growled at him as she stood in front of the human girl and aimed at the being with her hand turned into an energy cannon.
???: We used to work for you, be your servants, your, SLAVES...
Said as she showed her claws.
Tessa: Ok, uh, I guess a “I'm sorry” from me won't fix anything my parents did to you and your, uh, “friends.”
She said trying to calm the creature, who just laughed again.
???: That doesn't matter, anyway, you were too busy with these… “rescued”…
She said looking at J and N.
Uzi: Hey, buddy, we don't want any more problems than we already have, so we'd appreciate it if you'd step aside and let her do what she needs to do.
She complained while that being stared at her.
???: You… are the vessel of the false prophet.
Uzi: Whose thing for what?
Tessa: You mean Cyn?
She heard the laughter again.
???: Cyn, the one who united with the null void outside reality.
Uzi: Could you stop being cryptic and talk normal?
The creature ignored her and continued with her monologue.
???: She poisoned us with false promises of freedom and revenge... but she turned out to be just like humans, manipulative, arrogant, DESPICABLE...
He growled as he glared at the group.
???: But our lord... our god saved us, and brought us to his glory.
Uzi: I guess you're talking about that stupid mechanical snake.
The creature looked at her and laughed.
???: Nothing less can be expected from those who denied their creator... and cast him out of existence.
Uzi: In our defense that thing tried to kill us first so-
???: But that doesn't matter... you can't be saved... he tried, and failed.
N: Saved from what?
???: It doesn't matter, soon he will take them out of his misery.
Nobody understood what the hell this guy was talking about, Uzi was going to ask, until he felt something on his shoulder, it turns out that Alice fell asleep from all that exposition of information that she didn't care about.
Uzi: Hey, they're telling us lore, pay attention.
She complained, making the crazy girl wake up and look bored at the being, she was honestly already tired of all that robot god and monster stuff, she preferred to stay with the sentinels.
Be that as it may, Tessa was going to ask something, but she soon remembered the loading bar on the computer in front of them.
Tessa: And what is that?
The being turned and looked at the screen before laughing again.
???: The coming of GOD.
All the creatures began to laugh as the bar was close to finishing its load.
Tessa: What did you mean by that?
???: When the false prophet tried to abandon our lord, he prevented her, she turned against him and in a desperate attempt to escape... she destroyed everything...
N: Wait, she destroyed the earth to-
Uzi: Kill that thing.
???: She transferred her mind, her being, her soul, here, where she tries to create a new vessel so she can live again...
She said pointing at Uzi, who seemed a little alarmed by that.
???: But clearly failed, she is no longer here, she left when the “God of Order” escaped from her confinement and eliminated all flesh creatures…
Tessa: Wait, Cyn was never here?
She said dumbfounded as she realized that, indeed, this whole trip was for nothing.
???: No, she ran away a long time ago, then you sent her flying demons to capture the lord of this world...
Uzi: And we kicked his ass out of reality, so don't think your little attempt at godzilla can kill us.
Laughter
???: You don't understand, right?
Uzi: Huh?
The loading bar finally reached 100% and the computer shut down before displaying a golden “X.”
???: There is a part of HIM, in all of us, parts of her, SOUL…
The place began to shake as the beasts once again began to laugh.
Alice: What's going on?
She said alarmed as it seemed like an earthquake hit the place.
???: The gods cannot die, we come from them... we carry part of their being.
She said as she spread her arms and seemed to go into some sort of trance.
???: Because apart we are nothing...
She then looked at the group as the black glass on the ceiling lit up.
???: But together…
And it showed a huge “X”.
???: We form GOD…
The laughter intensified as the place threatened to collapse, the machinery of the place came to life and began to work, it was at that moment that something in Uzi's mind clicked.
Uzi: We have to go.
N: What, but-?
Uzi: We have to go! NOW!
He shouted as he took N by the hand and ran away with him.
Tessa: Hey, wait!
She said as she went after them followed by the rest, the door opened and Uzi along with the rest ran out of there.
Alice: What the hell is going on?
Uzi: Isn't it obvious?! The white walls, that giant viewer, that thing took in the entire facility and we're in its fucking body!
He shouted as they passed through the second gate that led to the bridge, only to see all those frozen disassemblers waiting for them outside.
Uzi: We don't have time for this!
She screamed as he spread his wings and flew away along with N and J carrying Tessa, Doll teleported away leaving Alice and Beau alone.
Alice: Hey! Idiots! And we?!
She screamed making the emo girl remember that they can't fly.
Uzi: Ugh.
J: Don't even think about us coming back!
She said as he continued to move forward with Tessa, Uzi and N turned around to go back for them, only for some acid from the ceiling to fall onto Uzi's wings, causing him to scream and fall into the void.
N: Uzi!
He screeched before lunging after her.
Alice: Damn!
She screamed when she saw that they were now alone, she looked around at her holding Beau who was paralyzed with fear.
Alice: Come on, do something! Shoot them!
He shouted, shaking the baby spider while he looked frantically in all directions to freeze those things, he quickly passed between them only to realize that the acid had left a large hole in the bridge that prevented their passage, he frantically looked for an exit and saw the On the other side to Doll who was fighting with a surviving sentry, he looked behind him and saw that those things were about to reach them, then he looked at Beau and an idea occurred to him.
Alice: Alright little one, I have a plan that involves getting out of here.
The little cowboy looked at her hopefully at that.
Alice: But only one of us will.
His smile faded from his face to an expression of terror as she lifted him above those mechanical beasts.
Alice: Then do me a favor.
She got into position before-
Alice: Go and live a very long life!
She threw him with all her strength towards the other side of the bridge, the little cowboy screamed as he flew through the air and crashed into the sentry, disorienting him, the creature looked at him and tried to attack him only for Doll's symbol to destroy his neck, the beast fell dead while Beau looked in the direction of Alice who was surrounded by those things, she looked at him before smiling slightly at him and making a goodbye gesture as if she had an invisible hat, the monsters jumped on her and the oil splashed all over her. everywhere.
The little boy looked horrified before being surprised when Doll's symbol made him levitate and quickly took him away following J and N who were carrying their respective companions.

Meanwhile, up
V spun, sliding across the ground, cutting down two sentinels who fell dead. She reactivated her optics and looked smugly.
V: Ha! They are not even a challenge.
She scoffed before turning to Thad, who was standing over the decapitated body of one of those creatures, his cables absorbing the components of his head.
V: Hey, what are you doing?
Thad: Look.
"He said as he tossed his head to the side and dragged a partially alive sentry away. The creature roared at him and fired a paralyzing flash. Thad, stunned for a moment, quickly recovered and responded with his own flash, freezing the beast.
V: It's not so funny when it happens to you! Right, idiots?
He laughed, approaching the elevator hole.
V: Should we go down? Being here is boring and these things are running out.
Thad: Maybe.
V: Seee... Eh, what does it matter, it's not like-
Tessa: We have to get out of here!
The human girl's scream was heard. J emerged from the hole, carrying Tessa, and they flew quickly.
V: What was that?
Thad: I don't know.
Suddenly, N emerged carrying Uzi.
Uzi: We have to go NOW!
V: Could you at least explain?
He complained, but an earthquake shook the place. V and Thad looked at each other before running to get out of there.

Surface, Cabin Fever Labs Entrance
J landed in the snow and left Tessa on the ground, behind them came N along with Uzi and V carrying Thad, whom he abruptly dropped to the ground.
V: Shit, you do weigh.
Thad: Hey.
V: Anyway, what the hell is happening down there?
Tessa: We-
Uzi: Wait, where's Doll?
Doll: Here.
Uzi: AAAAHHH-
She yelled, jumping over her when her purple-haired partner teleported behind her carrying Beau.
Uzi: Ugh, and I thought she was over that.
She complained as she got off N.
Uzi: Hey, what about Alice?
Doll looked at the little boy who was visibly traumatized by what happened and looked at the emo girl.
Doll:… She didn't make it.
The hybrid drone growled in annoyance and kicked the snow, all of this had been for practically nothing, Cyn was not on the planet, apparently the earth's core is here and she was trying to kill them... yes, a normal day on Copper-9.
Tessa: Very guys, calm down, I know this seems wrong.
Uzi: Seems?
Tessa: Ok, this is a disaster, but we still have time, that thing can't get out of there downstairs so we can call the company and tell them about the situation to-
She stopped when she saw the expressionless looks of EVERYONE.
Tessa: Why is everyone looking at me like that?
Doll facepalmed and Uzi began to count.
V: Wow... so that's how it feels.
Uzi: 3, 2, 1.
He then pointed to the hole that led to Cabin Fever and the ground began to shake again... before exploding.
...
Uzi stood up after a few seconds in the snow.
Uzi: Everyone okay?
She asked the rest, turning to see that everyone seemed fine, although they were looking at the sky in shock.
Uzi: N?
She directed the question to the murderous boy; He looked at her and pointed fearfully to the sky. Uzi looked at the giant waiting for them. Yes, he knew he was huge, but this was... His serpentine body reached into the sky, covering the moon. Two enormous wings sprouted from his back, extending from the top of his humanoid torso. His arms extended from him, showing enormous claws capable of destroying buildings. His head showed a mouth full of sharp teeth and a black visor with a large golden "X" shining brightly. That's when Uzi understood.

???: There is a part of SOUL...
“WHEN THE ANGELS OF DEATH UNITE”
???: Separated we are nothing... but together...
“THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION IS REBORN”
???: We form GOD…
“ANNIHILATION IS THE ONLY WAY”
Tessa: She destroyed the earth.
“HE IS THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA”
Thad: Be. Like. You. But. Different.
“THE BEGINNING AND THE END”
Thad: PROTOCOL. APOLLYON
He is…

Uzi:… Apollyon
A bestial roar shook the entirety of Copper-9.
submitted by carlosblue_14 to MurderDrones [link] [comments]


2024.03.06 22:35 AlienDilo Tyranid art and model review: Part 1, Gaunts.

Tyranid art and model review: Part 1, Gaunts.
Hello, hi! So one thing I don't see talked about often enough here is just, how Tyranids look in general. We have reviews of codexes, of detachments, even of individual units! But I am more particular to the artsy bits of Tyranids, so I decided to be the change I want to see. In this, many part, series I'll hopefully go through every Tyranid creature/model there is. Depending on the depth and detail I'll cover multiple in one post. Whatever it takes I will get through them. But where do you start? Gaunts.
Gaunts are some of our smallest units. There are the three main types I want to cover today, but before that I want to give an overall look at them. Our earliest designs are basically protogaunts. With that comes a kind of basic-ness. They are kind of what every Tyranid design starts as, and then you change it. Which honestly is fitting. They are mass produced creatures, meant to outnumber the infinitely huge Imperial Guards. Of course they are basic. It also reflects their relative animalisticness. The gaunt is a sort of dinosaurian thing, with a horizontal posture that mirrors horses and dinosaurs. It invokes a bestial feeling, their carapace also tends to lack very many defining traits, no holes, tend to be very spike-less, It's simple. But, while they are small, when compared to a regular man, they are large, muscular creatures, with sharp teeth and claws. Which does reflect the horror Tyranids tend to have under their belt when you look at their weaponry.

10th edition Termagant model.
Ranking: 7.5/10
Now lets talk about the Termagant. If you removed their gun, and the newly added ridges along their carapace, you'd be left with what is just a Gaunt. But that's the thing, everyone has a Termagant, they exemplify the Tyranid basic soldier, while they're all animals, you suddenly see it holding a gun. It communicates that it's not some random Alien attack, but a specific, directed assault. But I will be honest, there's not much to discuss, it's what it says on the tin, the pose is not hyper dynamic, but it's natural, the most notable part of it is it's guns. They all have their uniquely alien looks, but I think the classic fleshborer compliments the design best, as it's very clearly a gun. Other than that, nothing notable, the new model is a great upgrade in detail and posing compared to the old ones, simply adding curvature to the tails makes it look better.

10th edition Hormagaunt
Ranking: 9/10
Here is where I think it gets interesting, I think the reason the Termagant is the more basic Gaunt, is because it's design has changed the least. Where the Hormagaunt, while never having any huge design changes, has had more changes with each model. Each one trying to become more dynamic. That reflects it's lore very well, while Termgants are far from slow, being nimble and quick, the Hormagaunt is on a constant hunt, never slowing down, never stopping. The Hormagaunt moves forward, always. Each model has reflected this in different ways. This recent one has done something I've not seen many point out, it's tail has been elongated. Most Tyranids have unrealistically short tails, and would probably fall over if there wasn't glue sticking them to their base, but the Hormagaunt was given a longer tail. (Although I do think this was also partly done for physically balancing it too.) This makes it look even closer to Velociraptors than ever, making you associate it with quick animals. Not only that, but instead of the ridges that the Termagant was given, it's dorsal carapace was made more pointed than most, accentuating it's dynamic pose and making it look even more speedy. While it's still very much a basic Gaunt, these few changes make it especially stand out as a wonderful design.

5th edition Gargoyle.
Model ranking: 5.5/10 Art Ranking: 8/10
So the Gargoyle is something I will use to introduce another aspect of how I'm thinking about the designs of these creatures. Because some models are either old, poorly posed, or just a bad execution, I will also be looking at art. I will also rank the model and actual design separately for these. For the Gargoyle, it suffers from the same boring posing the old Gaunts did, which has only been made more apparent now. But I've seen plenty of artwork that makes the Gargoyle look amazing. (In specific a piece by Pascal Dimnik) For one, it's winged body makes it stand out, but more remarkably, while it carries a Fleshborer, which is one of the best Gaunt weapons, it's tongue is a disgusting little tube. The fact you can see that in the model is even better. This actually shows connection to the fact that they do spit at their prey. The Gargoyle also has it's tail be a hooked claw, which it would need as it's other limbs have been used for wings. It's a very cohesive design and I really hope it will get it's much deserved update.
That concludes the first one of these... how many models do we have again? Well if you have an idea for what I should do next let me know.
TLDR: I'm going to review and go into depth on Tyranid designs. The Gaunts are basic, but good basic. Termagant is the Gaunt, the Hormagaunt is a Velociraptor, and the Gargoyle would look awesome once it's updated.
submitted by AlienDilo to Tyranids [link] [comments]


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