Had a fun night quotes

My partner left me with our two young children after grooming me for years. How do I heal?
I am 26f and my ex partner is 69m.
That’s hard to type out and admit to the situation I’ve found myself in. This has been my biggest secret for years.
I met my partner at 19. I worked as a waitress at the barestaurant he owns. I had a lot of fun I was cute and I loved being around customers. My personality was sarcastic and charming. A lot of people became my friends there. He watched me a lot and he gave me uneasy vibes. I kept it to myself he was a known creep. I didn’t think much of it until I had turned 21 (still working as a waitress) and he started becoming inappropriate with me. He would touch me around corners and spaces where I couldn’t push him away or it would be obvious to others what he was doing. For some reason I didn’t want to get him caught. He stayed in a dark room next to the bathrooms when I went to go pee one drink night after work I was drinking with my coworkers. He held my wrists led me into the dark side of the room and forcibly made me make out with him. That was the beginning.
I didn’t have much family and what I did have was an addict mother and a distant dad. I didn’t have a good example or even anyone to talk to about this. He poured sweet words into my head and professed his love and honestly it felt nice. He had found out I was a virgin after our first encounter. I was too scared to tell him I didn’t want to look like a child. He treated me like a hookup. Once he found out I was a virgin and he was my first he had become obsessive with me.
I found out he was married and had children older than me. He gave me the same story any married man would give you and me being so struck by him I dealt with it. I know I’m wrong. I will be punished in life for what I’ve done emotionally to this other woman. I’m not a victim.
He convinced me to have his child. He was having sex with me unprotected and professed how badly he wanted another chance at fatherhood. He was so busy with his first children he felt he missed out. His parents moved from his hometown in Greece to help him and his wife raise the children. I gave in. I was 23 and wanted a child. I knew he could support that child comfortably. I was very naive.
I was induced and had a quiet lonely labor without him present. I moved in with my mother and raised my daughter quietly mostly on my own. (My pregnancy was kept secret until I gave birth) I loved her so much. My whole life felt changed. It was hard to cope having him pop in and out but I tried to believe his love and made it work. Anytime I asked him for more time he got angry and told me I was asking too much. He was becoming insecure and more controlling. He secretly put trackers on my car. Had my phones location and checked my phone regularly.
I broke it off because I resented my loneliness so much. I became close with a guy my age. He was compassionate, loved my daughter, and enjoyed being my friend. My ex partner discovered my relationship by having microphones and trackers on my car and diaper bag
I was trying to coparent with my partner but he makes it very difficult trying to bring me back to him. Eventually he convinced me to come back to him move out of my home and try to be a family. I give in and try my best to make this work. He is more insecure calling me insults. A whore for being with another man and that I have ruined everything he will never love me the same. He eventually calms down and we get into a little routine with very high ups and very low lows.
Fast forward I accidentally become pregnant with our second child. I was distraught. I didn’t know how I would handle two children on my own with little help. My pregnancy put me in the hospital a dozen times from extreme sickness which looking back was extreme anxiety. I wanted to terminate but I couldn’t afford it and he wouldn’t allow me to. He confessed the affair to his wife and he moved in fully with me. She threatened me and tried to confront me but I was very pregnant and sick I couldn’t handle it. He reassured me he was with me because the kids needed him. He promised he would never leave. I tried to be secure and be excited for our second child. We found out she was another girl. I was happier than I’d been in years.
A few days before I had our daughter his oldest child died in a tragic accident. I tried to wait and hold off going into labor before the funeral. I had my child the morning of his viewing.
Midnight I went into labor he had stumbled home after drinking and grieving. He tried to force sexual acts on me but I had to explain I was in labor. He yelled at me on the way to the hospital for being in so much pain I threw up in his car. He was so different. I chalked it up to his child dying I needed to let him go through it atleast he was here this time.
I had a very hard labor our daughter got stuck but she came three hours later. He seemed disassociated the whole birth. He left an hour after I had her to go home sleep and get ready for the viewing later. He patted my shoulder and said good job. I bit my lip and tried to be positive. My mother brought me home two days later
I learned to breastfeed and give my toddler attention. I never asked him to help me I was on my own again and I was determined to do it on my own. He was in between my house and his ex wives to help . They were both grieving I tried to be understanding but I was alone except for at night. I started resenting him and fighting more than ever before. He started going away on fishing trips more and more. He only came home for sex. I kept the house clean and tried to keep him happy with sex even if my body wasn’t ready. He was getting frustrated and pushing me away. He couldn’t accept my postpartum and said him being financially responsible was enough. I asked too much and I wasn’t happy all I did was bitch at him I was unappreciative I was a whore. Eventually nothings could be said. Maybe I’m wrong for bitching all the time I couldn’t stop I just wanted to pull him in and be there for him while he was grieving
I had a lot of suspicions. He started hating me. He insulted me and put me down sex started to hurt. He was different. I became different and angry when before I would pretend to be happy
It all ended a few days ago. He called on his way back from a fishing trip. He said we were done I pushed him away I caused this. After a lot of me begging for an explanation he finally told me he’s going back to his wife they need to support each other in their grief. He says I played a huge role in this and his child dying was karma for what we did. He packed all of his things and I came home to an empty house. I’m gutted and devastated.
Our last conversation he wants me to live in our current home that he owns and he will make a lease agreement I have to sign. I will not be doing that. I will be moving with my family an hour and a half away and filing emergency custody. I will let him have some time as well. One of the terms in his lease is that I have to agree to never have another man around our kids. I will never sign and let him control me again
How do I heal and coparent with this man that hurt me all these years.

F20 SW:187 lb CW: 175 GW: 140lb
Hi everyone! This weeks update is i went to visit some friends in another city - and managed to gain 3lbs over the week sadly. I definitely was eating less than the last time i visited - skipped breakfast everyday (had no appetite) and even went to a restaurant i've been to before - ordered the same meal but could only stomach half! I did have 3 drinks whilst i was there (had a night out) but honestly considering the amount of walking i did i am a little upset i gained :(
Trying not to let it bog me down too much - it happens and it's about the whole journey not just a week-by-week basis. Still not too nice a feeling and as i'll be taking the 5th dose this week i'll see how i get on before deciding to stick with 2.5mg or maybe move up to 5mg!
That being said - I have a friend who has a blood pressure machine at home (for medical reasons) and we measured mine just for fun - came out pretty damn low (98/58). I personally have been noticing a drop in my BP, I can feel the blood rushing to my head when i stand up quickly - normally have to bend down quickly bcs i feel so dizzy. Confusing because it makes it seem like i'm not eating enough food, but then i gained weight 😭 So a bit unsure on that.... i'll try monitor myself and see how things go.
Thats all for this week - hope next week I come back with a loss!

A little background: we're friends for 4 years already, talked daily and spent almost every day together. We had our up and downs, but at the end of the day, we could talk about the problems and move on. Through these years, he became an incredibly important person in my life and allegedly it was mutual. We shared a lot of important, private elements of our lives and have amazing memories. Over the years, I expressed a lot of times how much I value this friendship. But this is something different which I feel like it's difficult to handle.
Long story short, about 4-5 months ago we started to play roleplay in GTA. I was never interested in it but he picked it up again after a few years and invited me to join, so I said let's try it.
For the first few occasions it was fun, fresh, everything was new of course. I met a lof of new, fun people and really enjoyed the experience. If you don't know how it looks, basically you're playing a character and act like that fictional person. Most of the time we moved together, sometimes separately, but our point of the game was to have fun together and share experiences like every time in the last few years.
However, after the first 1-2 weeks he started to move alone more often, probably he wanted to make new friendships or build his connections/charactestory, which is totally okay. He met new people every day, and he spent most of his time with them. He didn't communicate that though, nor talks about what's happening between them or what they're doing (probably he wants to keep it private and I don't force it). He usually only shares who he spends time with but nothing more. He became a popular person on the server but he doesn't include me in his "adventure".
I wanted to give him the space to do whatever he wants and despite I missed him during those sessions, I also made some new friends (they're only in-game friends though).
That'd be alright in itself, as this is what this game about, but I noticed we started to talk less and less outside of the game too, to a point where I don't feel like he's interested anymore - this is what makes it so painful. I already talked with him twice I'd like to spend a little bit more time together in-game, and it was better the next day, but everything went back to the previous state after that. So I dropped it and just accepted I give him more space and perhaps it gets better later. It didn't.
Sometimes he mentions how many people started to text him outside of the game as well and said he enjoys it very much. When we talk or text, he doesn't seem interested - he asks general questions but there's no proper reaction to keep the convo going. When I ask back, even if I'm making effort to give good topics to talk about (common interests, experiences like before) I get 2-3-word answers and it dies out.
On one hand, I feel bad for asking for more time because I want to respect his decision and enjoy his time, but on the other hand, I thought we're much closer than that, I never thought there's gonna be a significant distance between us due to a stupid game. I'm trying to be as far as possible from being needy but I think I already gave up so many boundaries and "expectations" that it's too much, it feels like I'm not valued.
I feel like I'm being replaced with virtual, mostly imaginery characters, who're playing someone else than themselves and not even real. In the last 1-2 weeks I can't sleep anymore, it hurts as much I'm crying every night and occasion because I don't know what should I do or how to handle it. It makes me feel like I'm worthless and thrown away.
The last thing I could think about to do is to talk with him how our relationship has changed since we play the game and how I'd like to be closer again. Or ask his opinion about our friendship and see what he says, I don't know.
TL;DR: Me and my best friend started to play roleplay, but since then, I feel like he slowly "fades away" and seems way less interested in me. It hurts and I don't know what to do.
I know one thing, I don't want to suffer more and even if it's gonna hurt a lot, I have to move on at some point.

I have been with my bf for two years now. I’m supposed to be moving in with him in two months however I think I’ve lost feelings for him. It all started ages ago. We both like going out with friends like most people. However I’ve realised he doesn’t like me going out with mates and it’s very evident he doesn’t fully trust me. I do have guy friends however I always tell him where I’m going and who with and help him when he has concerns about this. I’m not innocent either he also has girl mates and I’m also not really comfortable. However the difference is that I tell him to have fun none the less of my feelings and message him one or two times through the night checking in on him. I don’t expect him to respond instantly as I know he isn’t going to want to be on his phone. He however bombards my phone if I don’t reply in half an hour messages my friends asking what I’m doing, even though he won’t reply to me for like hours. I don’t go on my phone when I’m out as I think it’s rude. I have spoken to him about all of this before but it never changes.
I do get invited to parties quite often and I always want to go to them as it’s a nice way for all of my friends to get together. I never get overly drunk as it’s just something I like to do in order to feel comfortable walking home. I understand he may just want me to be safe however I have always been an independent person. When I mentioned being invited to a party, it’s very clear to me that he does not want me to go. he has stopped me going to parties before, but then he also brings up that he really wants to go to a party straight after, which I wouldn’t mind if he said it some other time. When I say I might be going out on the weekend, he always sort of has to one up me. He does this in everything if I’m ill hes suddenly ill too if I’m tired he’s suddenly exhausted. It constantly feels like a battle between us. Sometimes I just generally want him to feel a little bit of sympathy for me like how I give him when he is ill or tired instead of making it a battle.
All of this has made me lose feelings for him among other things I understand it may not seem a big deal however it is draining me. I have asked to go on a break yet it’s not really been a break. I’ve explained to him why we’ve gone on a break And to be honest I don’t think he understands. I love him so much just not the same love that I had for him when we first got together. I can’t imagine him not in my life however I don’t think I will be able to love him like how I used to as times gone on all the things I used to love about him now anger me. Would I be the arsehole if I broke up with him because of this?

(At Hazbin Hotel, the cat is sleeping at the sofa, until it hears a hammer sound and sees Charles at a stair in the front of a banner above the entrance door saying "Happy First Week, Miss Pentious")
Charles: That looks perfect! (Screams excitedly) I am so excited that Miss Pentious is staying at the hotel!
Vagner: Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with her weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago.
Charles: Well, I haven't seen her try to pull any of that here.
(The cat runs from Miss Pentious pushing a giant ray gun)
Vagner: What the hell is that?!
Miss Pentious: Oh, hello, purple male. It's my new invention: the Skin Flayer 11,000! I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.
Charles: What? Why?
Miss Pentious: Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they're planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machines are here!
(Two boys enter the hotel with a bunch of box in a cart)
Oddie: Sign here, please. (Gives a clipboard and pen to Miss Pentious, she signs it and give it back) Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.
Vagner: Carmine? As in Carmillo Carmine? You are buying parts from an overlord?
Miss Pentious: Uh, of course. He's the top weapons dealer in Hell.
Vagner: Okay, well, that stops right now. (Gets the kart with the boxes from Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Hey!
Vagner: You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel! No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice beacause they they want you to feel welcome.
(Miss Pentious looks at the bar Hisky and Angela give her the middle finger and Niffter smiles and laughs creepily to her)
Miss Pentious: I have my doubts.
Vagner: Well it's true. You have to trust us.
Miss Pentious: But I don't.
Charles: Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?
Vagner: Not before we lay some ground rules: no more building weapons, no more plotting against the other guests and you need to get rid of these things.
(One of the Egg Girls shoots a laser at the roof and breaks it)
Vagner: Ah! What did I just say? What did I just say?
Miss Pentious: What? Not my little Egg Girls! They do my evil bidding for my.
Vagner: Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?
Miss Pentious: Yes?
Vagner: Then, no more eggs!
Miss Pentious: Alright, eggies. You've got to go. I (Sniffs) can't keep you anymore.
Egg Girl #1: Okay, boss!
Miss Pentious: No, don't resist, this is how it has to be.
(The egg girls follow Vagner and Miss Pentious cries sterically with Charles patting her)
(Alice is seen eating a dead deer with fork and knife in a table in the middle of a swamp)
Vagner: Alice!
(The screen moves showing the swamp in a room and Vagner at the door)
Alice: Do you mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast.
Vagner: Pentious' eggs are all over the place and I need you to get rid of them.
Alice: Oh! Well, in that case, I'd be delighted to!
Vagner: Humanely!
Alice: Um. Well, that's a lot less fun. But I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today. (Leaves her room)
Vagner: Great! (See the dead deer) Oh, this is disgusting.
(At the looby)
Charles: Hi, guys! Thanks for coming! It's been brought to our attention that there maybe a littleeeeeeeee tension at the hotel!
(Miss Pentious grabs Niffter and prepares to shoot him, but Vagner gets her gun)
Vagner: Tension that can be counterproductive to what we're trying to do here.
Charles: We think that this group could really benefit from...(Jumps in front of a lighthing background) Trust exercises!
Vagner: Trust exercises! Oh, shit! (Falls butt down on the ground and Charles gets him up)
Charles: Vagner, we rehearse this. (Sighs) We're doing trust exercises!
Hisky: So, um, what's with the whole, uh...This?
(A stage is seen behind Vagner and Charles)
Hisky: I'm not about to put on some show for these fuckings chumps!
Angela: Oh, I will! (Puts her legs in Hisky's) But it's cash up first. And I know that one afford me.
Miss Pentious: Gross! I'd think of it, spider!
Vagner: Right, let's get started. Charles?
Charles: Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one. I trust everyone, so maybe you'd know better about how to build it properly.
Vagner: What? Uh, I don't know I'm qualified to...
Charles: Oh, come on! It'll be easy, I'm sure you can handle this.
Vagner: Yeah, um, sure. I can handle this, no problem. (Inhales) Alright, so we are starting with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable about yourself and then fall backwards while the rest lf the group catches you, got it? Who wants to go first?
Charles: Ooh! Ooh! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Vagner: Alright, get on up there!
(Charles gets in the stage)
Charles: I...I love you guys. Like, really love you! (Turns around, falls backwards and Vagner catches him)
Vagner: Got you!
Charles: That...Felt...Good! Angela, why don't go next?
Angela: Fine! (Goes to the stage)
Vagner: This time everyone needs to catch her, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you!
Angela: Well, something about myself, huh? Well, how about this? I love to lick...
Hisky: I swear to fuck if you say pussies!
Angela: Lollipops, ya sicko! Get your head head of the gutter! (Falls backwards and Hisky catches her) But ya know? Pussies, too. (Hisky drops her) Ahh! Alright, new girl, you're up.
(A spotlight shines on Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: I don't want to leave without my minions! Nobody catch me. (Falls backwards and Vagner, Charlie and Hisky catch her) Damn it!
Vagner: That's great. Wow, you're slimy. Good job. Uh, Niffter? (Niffter runs runs past him and gets in the stage)
Niffter: Sometimes, I kill father bugs in front of their children as a warning to others! (Falls from the stage, everyone backs away and he falls face down in the ground) Yay! Pain! (Gets up, goes to the stage, falls and repeats it) Hehe, pain!
(Charles and Vagner walk away)
Charles: I don't think this really working the way we hoped. Maybe, we should...
Vagner: Honey, you have to trust me here. I got this, okay? I'll figure something out.
Angela: If you're in the market for some ideas, I got just the thing for some trust building.
Vagner: (Sighs) What do you have in mind?
(In the town, Alice is seen walking with the Egg Girls)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, boy! What's the plan, boss?
Egg Girl #2: I like your suit.
Egg Girl #3: What are the antlers for?
Egg Girl #4: Can I touch your staff thing?
Egg Girl #5: Are those your ears or is it your hair? I can't tell.
(A tall woman appears in front of Alice)
Zestia: Hark, Alice. How fare thee this day?
Egg Girl #1: Who's that boss? Want me to ruff her up for ya?
Alice: Follow in silence if you value your shells! Greetins, Zestia!
Sinner #1: Ahh! Holy shit! (Falls backwards)
Zestia: Ah, the weather did become fine this day!
Sinner #2: Oh! Uh-oh! (Hides in the garbage)
Alice: Indeed! Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon!
(A demon screams, covers her in gas and combustes her in flames)n
Zestia: If our luck doth hold. I do reveal in the screams. How art thou? (Walks with Alice) It's been an ages since thou hath graced us with thy presence. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to...Holy arms.
Alice: (Laughs) Oh, I just took a well earned sabatical, nothing serious. Though is fun to keep everyone on their toes. Ha ha!
Zestia: (Chuckles) There too hath been rumor of thy involvement with the prince and his flight of fancy. Tell me, how does thou fall in such folly?
Alice: That is for me to know. But please, do guess, I'd love to hear the theories!
Zestia: (Chuckles) T'would be grander folly by far to assume the workings of your mind, Alice. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm.
Alice: Coming from someone as ancient as you I take that as quite the complement!
(They walk into an alley, pass through a security cam and Alice statics it, the girls get in an elevator and Alice prevents the egg girls from entering with her staff)
Alice: No, no. I have a very important task for you: stay here and guard the front until I return.
(The Egg Girls salute Alice, the elevator closes and goes up)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, look, Frankie is up there!
Egg Girl #2: We have names?
(In the top the building, the elevator doors open and Zestial, Alice and Frankie get out of it, Frankie sees a blck eyes man and a blue skull woman saluting and a dinosaur guy come ou of an elevator and all of them enter a room with a table and chairs and Frankie hides behind Alice, the black eyes man see her, she waves at him and he smiles showing his teeth and she hides scared, and a man appears at the end of the table with the delivery boys from later)
Carmillo: Welcome, Hell's sovereign overlords. I invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with a new extermination schedul. We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact. (See Zestia sitting at his side) Zestia, so good to see you my friend.
Zestia: Encanted as always, Carmillo.
Carmillo: Alice?
Alice: Yes, I know, I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering.
Carmillo: Not really. But welcome back in ay case. (Snaps fingers and Oddie gives him a clipboard) This year's extermination was brutal. Far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost. With the Angelic Legions returning twice as quickly, I think is prudent that we...
(Veener quicks the door and everyone looks at him)
Veener: (At the phone) Yes, I've got it handled, Vix. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought. Ha ha ha! Yes, I know, they're all a joke. (Laughs) Thank you, Vee. (Kisses) Kisses, darling!
Carmillo: Nice of you to join us, Veener. Will your colleagues be joining?
Veener: No. They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag that thinks he's tough shit. I'm here to represent.
Carmillo: Charming. (Veener puts a poop filter on him) So, as I was saying, we need to discuss...
(Veener raises and shakes his hand)
Carmillo: Yes?
Veener: On the subject of discussion. (Throws an angel head in the table)
(Everyone gasps)
Alice: Ooh! Tasty!
Carmillo: Where did you get this?
Veener: We found it during the extermination day. If these holy rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them. The girls and I have come up with a full assault plan...
(Everyone hears sipping noises, and look at Zestia drinking tea loudly and she puts the cup in the table)
Zestia: If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war, with such meagre proof. Thou art far more foolish than I be thought.
Veener: (Scoffs) "Meagre proof"? It's a dead fucking exorcist! I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive! You're going blind, old woman?
Zestia: We know not how this perished. Mayhaps it was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing might, they purge all of Hell for ding an uprising.
(Everyone mutters in agreement and Veener looks to Carmillo worried)
Veener: Oh! I get it. So grandma is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right?
(Zestia gets angry)
Veener: Oh, what's the matter, fossil? To senile to make a real power grab for...
Carmillo: (Singing) You better show some respect! Check your behavior! No one speaks too Zestia that way! Did you expect us to sir baxk and rake your insolent brazen display?
Veener: Haha! (Singing) You've got it twisted! I'm not the one who needs a attitude! Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch and I will do nothing else then what I please! Woo! I'm the backbone of the Vees! Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's 'cause no one could respect this. Sorry group attendin', since when are overlords too scared to fight? You're long past trendin'. Sorry, bae, but I ain't swipin' right. You lost your relevance.
Zestia: We can't act without more intelligence!
Veener: Ugh, no wonder I'm so respectless. I could eat you lot for breakfast. You and the Vees are inane and uninformed, Smug wannabes, who don't heed when you've been warned!
Veener: Oops! Did I strike a nerve? 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head, couldn't help but observe that your wrinkled face was turning red! And why are you avoidin' war? That's what the guns you sell are for. Thanks to my being respectless. One thing I'm starting to suspect is. You know why this angel's headless. Do you have a disclosure?
Carmillo: This meeting's over!
(Everyone stare at the boys)
Alice: That was a productive meeting!
Veener: (Normal) Hmmph, fine. Safe travel back to nursing home, fuckers! Kiss my ass! Hahaha! (Leaves the room)
Zeezo: What the hell? We literally just got here.
Oddie: Father?
(Carmillo walks away and Zestia follows him and everyone else leaves the room almost staping on Frankie, and Alice see Zestia and Carmilla enter another room)
Alice: Well, that's interesting. You little egg creature. I have a job for you.
Frankie: Oh, yes, boss.
Alice: Follow them.
(Frankie salutes and enters the other room, back to Vagner, Charles and Angela)
Vagner: Angela! What the actual fuck?!
(They're seem in a sex dungeon)
Angela: No activity requires more trust them BDSM, baby. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage. That's their motto. (Points to a poster)
Charles: Angela, love the enthusiasm. But umm, uh...Hmmmm...
Vagner: What makes you think anyone would be into this?
(Hisky purrs with a mister messaging her)
Hisky: Ya know, I...I don't hate this.
(Niffter appears holding a stick)
Niffter: I'm ready to punish some bad girls. (Giggles)
Hisky: Uhh...Nevermind, I-I'm out. (Gets up and walks away)
(Misters surround Charles)
Charles: (Laughs uncomfortably) Okay, hello there. Hi. Um. Hm...(Vagner drags him away)
Vagner: Ugh, can't fucking believe I let you drag us here, Angela. This is disgusting.
Charles: It's no big deal, Vagner. You know, maybe I can just help, uh...
Vagner: No. I told you could trust me. And I'm not gonna let you down. I just need to teach them the way I was taught.
(In a tower roof)
Charles: This is how you learn to trust people?!
(A lot of demons are seen fighting in a bettlefield)
Vagner: (In drill sergeant style) There is nothing stronger than a trust between comrades and arms. Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men! You...(Grabs Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Wait, wait! I can't fight without my minions...(Vagner throws her off the building)
Vagner:...Are gonna survive together! Miss Pentious: AAAAAAHHH!
(Vagner turns to Angela)
Vagner: And you...
Angela: Don't you even think about it...
Vagner: Are make this hotel work! (Vagner throws grabs and throws Angela off the building)
Angela: AAAAAAHHH!
Niffter: (Excitedly) My turn, my turn!
(Hisky get out of the roof, Vagner grabs Niffter, but Charles catches him)
Charles: Vagner, no!
Vagner: This is the only way they'll learn, Charles.
Charles: No, it's not. There are other ways. It just take time.
Vagner: Time we don't have. How many exterminations will have to gone by before these idiots get their shit together? How many times we have to watch your people be killed before we make headway?
Charles: Vagner...
Vagner: I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm suppose to make your dreams a reality. I'm suppose to protect you. I'm suppose to never fail you. (Leans on the edge of the terrace)
Angela: I blame you for this you crazy bitch!
Charles: You didn't fail me, Vagner...You're not...
Vagner: If I can't help you, what's the point of me?
Charles: (Gasps) Vagner, don't say that! You do so much! It's...
Vagner: I'm sorry. I'd like to be alone for a minute.
(Charles turns away from Vagner and see Angela grabbing Miss Pentious in her back getting in the roof and Angela throws Pentious in the ground)
Angela: Made it.
Charles: Let's go home, guys.
Angela: Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs. (Grabs Miss Pentious and pulls her following Charles)
(In Carmillo's office, he pulls himself a drink)
Carmillo: Ay, que barbaridad. (Drinks from a bottle)
Zestia: Carmillo, what troubles thou? Loosing thy composure is unlike thee.
Carmillo: (Sighs) It's nothing, Zestia. Really.
Zestia: The felled angel...'Twas by thy hand, was it not?
Carmillo: Let's not talk abou it. (Walks away)
Clarence: Dad, maybe she should know.
Carmillo: Nobody should know. (Sits in his desk) I did what to do. I am not discussing this. (Zestia puts her hand in his shoulder)
Zestia: (Singing) What weighs on your soul, old friend? I implore you to share the load. If it was thou who slew the angel, why not let your strength be known?
Carmillo: (Singing) I always thought, that I would keep blood off my face. But when that thing attacked, I had to act, to cross that line and keep them safe. But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war and who's to say who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I was killing for! So I! I'll be your keeper! (Hugs his sons) Do whatever it takes! I'll make the mistakes! I'll keep you safe and keep this secret!
(Meanwhile, Vagner climbs the outside of the hotel)
Vagner: (Singing) When I saw your face, you made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place and it felt so good to be understood. But there's so much I wished that I could say. So I...I'll be your armor, do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes, I'll spend my life being your partner.
Carmillo: And I don't know what we might face, But I know I can't replace you so I'll do anything to save you!
Vagner: And I will try to make your dreams come true!
Vagner and Carmillo: Whatever we go through. I know I....
Carmillo: I'll be your keeper
Vagner: I'll be your armor!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
Carmillo: I'll make the mistakes!
Vagner: I'll make the mistakes!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
(Meanwhile, some of the Egg Girls are dumpster diving)
Egg Girl #3: Ooohh. This smells like fun. Ooh, I love garbage.
(Frankie get out of the elevator and Alice stops her)
Alice: So, what did you hear?
Frankie: First, the old woman w-was all "you're not yourself, you're the one who killed the angel" a-a-and the he was all (Singing) Whatever it takes!
Alice: And then what was that last thing?
Frankie: He killed the angel?
Alice: Interesting. Let's keep this between us, shall we?
Frankie: You got it, boss!
(At the hotel, Vagner finds Charles at the hotel)
Vagner: Hey.
Charles: Hey.
Vagner: I'm sorry I got so crazy today.
Charles: No, no, I'm sorry. I'm put pressure on you. We work as a team. I guess I just thought all this would be easier, but we'll figure it out...Together. I mean, look what your exercise did for them.
(In the sitting room below everyone is laughing)
Angela: And then when that buff girl started beating the shit outta you.
Miss Pentious: Ha ha! Yeah, with the desmembered arm. Yes, that, was, particularly unpleasent.
Niffter: He he. I liked that part.
Hisky: Well hey, at least you can take a beating like a champ. You did okay, new kid.
Miss Pentious: Really? Oh, well, I suppose I did get into a little of the old rough and tumblr today. (Laughs) And, uh...Thank you for pullinh me out of there. (Angela staps her back)
(Everyone laugh and giggle, the girls stop, but Niffter keeps laughing manically)
Vagner: Well, how about that?
(Alice returns)
Vagner: Alice. Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.
Alice: Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be rather useful.
Vagner: Why don't you give them back to Pentious?
Miss Pentious: Really?
Vagner: Yeah. After today, I guess I can trust you with them. But seriously, no more weapons.
Miss Pentious: Ahhhh! (Hugs the Egg Girls) My eggs! Yeah. Oh, it's so good to have you back. Now go clean my quarters this instant!
Charles: Maybe things will move faster than you think.
(In Pentious' room)
Miss Pentious: Ah! How was your day with Alastor, my minions?
Frankie: It was awesome, boss. I went to this meeting and there was a knife guy, an old lady and a dinosaur.
Miss Pentious: Umm. That's nice.
Frnkie: And the knife guy killed an angel. And I was not suppose to be talking about it.
Miss Pentious: Oh, I'm so sure and maybe you'll meet martians tomorrow. Bit now it's time to sleep. Good night, Eggies. (The egg women sleep over her and they all go to sleep)
(The end credits start playing)

TLDR: 2 vics dissappear within minutes. Both were on the map when I saved and exited to main menu properly
Ok, longer version, I play on 2 different playstations depending on where I am. 1st vic lost was the Bandit, I am in tamyr got a separate vic stuck and went to garage to find my Bandit. It was nowhere. I just ignored it because it's been a while since I played and grabbed a random other vic to take it's place as repair. When I was done for the night I saved game and quit to main menu like every other time I play. Next day I play on for the story PS2. Go to the garage and boom there is my bandit. Everything else is exactly like Ieft it before. I leave it in the garage. Play for a bit and get off. When I get back on PS1, everything again is where I left it from PS2 save but no bandit in garage. Now the fun part throughout this journey I was delivering logs and got the truck stuck in a swamp. I logged onto PS2 where the Bandit was found again pulled it from garage and drove it to stuck truck. Ran into some issues had a couple recovery problems. (I self recovery don't use the function unless glitched). Logged onto PS1 and both the Bandit and logger are no longer on the map and not in garage om either console.

So last night about an hour before going to my LGS to play I put together a simple Sligh/Red Deck Wins/Burn style deck out of what I had laying around (couple starters, commons people had given me, and 10 packs of cards) + bought 7 singles when I got to the store.
My thinking was I had only played SWU once before and that was with the Vader starter, so a simple aggro deck would be easy to pick up and not rely on intimate knowledge of the game or meta. Not to mention it was cheap as it read thrown together from my collection of mostly bulk.
This is the list I wound up playing, I went 2-1 in a 3 round 8 man (small crowd as the Showdown was the next day). I beat Thrawn U, lost to Krennic G, then beat Palpatine G. Every match was 2-1 for the winner so no blowouts. I made some misplays and forgot to use my base a good bit as I'd never played with a base that had an epic action before, that likely led to some losses but who knows if it was enough to actually make a difference.
Some cards were thrown in just as filler to hit 50 cards, such as I Am Your Father and Mission Briefing. But overall the deck was fun and honestly felt pretty solid. My opponents were pretty experienced players and it took them by surprise. The deck goes wide quickly and it feels bad for them to go 1 to 1 with removal. I definitely want to try and improve the deck.
After getting home I pulled some of the "filler" cards for another 1 drop, Tie Fighter, and Precision Strike. I also swapped out Wampa for Snowtrooper Lieutenant. Being able to get a "free" attack while playing a body seems good in an aggressive deck like this, and it is a Trooper so it procs Precision Fire. Here is the list as it stands now.
I do want to swap Keep Fighting for Aggression, and I need to finish the sideboard.

Really condensed summary: Caught long distance boyfriend(?) lying about porn until I saw it on his phone.
My boyfriend and I started dating in August of 2022 (went long distance in August 2023). As we were both going through some terrible mental periods, I broke up with him in November of 2023. When we “broke up”, we really only went about two weeks without talking and then were back to talking all the time every day in January. Neither of us got with other people in this time, and were still solely focused on coming back together.
Because of some things I was waiting on him to improve on, I decided I wasn’t ready to officially date until I saw that everything was better and we were both ready to be fully together again. He did however start a conversation in February that we are literally dating just without the title. I told him I agreed, and that if that were the case, then all my boundaries while we were dating are still my expectations.
The one boundary I have ever set with him is the use of porn and/or following and liking bikini and instagram models on instagram. I gave him whatever he wanted of me so that this boundary would never even be a problem. He never complained.
In May I decided to drive the long distance and surprise him. It was fantastic, he was so excited. The second night we were watching Instagram reels together and I saw his explore was like 75% instagram models. I was immediately upset, he knew it, but I very calmly asked if he minded if I look through some stuff.
He had clicked many vsco links from instagram models, he had downloaded vsco and had like 10 different girls searched on there, his reddit recent searched and clicked on were all instagram models and other porn, and his internet search had been cleared.
Lastly, I had a gut feeling to download tinder. And behold an account made in late march while i was on spring break. He had swiped on lots of women but had never opened a chat or responded to anyone.
I was so hurt. I explicitly said how much this stuff is so terrible for my mental. I had asked multiple times since February if he was watching porn or looking for it on instagram and he reassured me over and over again.
Here were his excuses/explanations. The Instagram models on ig/vsco/reddit were because he had lost himself in the 6 months we hadn’t seen each other. He said it was out of curiosity. He just liked to scroll and look, he just wanted to see more. The porn was basically the same excuse. He said he would watch it while looking at the pictures he had of me. And then the Tinder. His best friend, whom I really trusted, had been using it. And when I was on spring break was kind of a period of time where we weren’t sure if we were gonna make it or not. He said he did it for fun and never intended on using it to ever be with anyone else, which he didn’t. And an explanation for all of the above is that we were in fact not dating.
I want to move past this, he’s so sorry and I believe really just lost track of the end goal with not seeing each other for 6 months and no plans for when that would change.
I’m asking for help to move past this, I really do not want the advice of break up with him right now.

Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

Reread Fear and there is a whole load of interesting stuff that happens. (I actually went out in the middle of the night to read it in the dark, as if I was in the FAYZ with the barrier gone black, it was fun).
After Gaia has been born she starts glowing and Brittney is very happy about this (much to Penny's annoyance) "She glows! Our Lord give us her light!" - Brittney "That's it, I've tried to put up with your -" - Penny "Hush" I think this power might actually belonged to an unnamed kid in Lies (who Zil targets) who had the power to glow harmlessly.
Also, does anyone else love some of the other stuff that happens in Fear?
Maybe I'm looking too far into this, but at the start of the book I almost wonder if Diana was flirting with Sam a little (until Astrid came back and they reconciled)
Edilio turns out to be in a relationship with Roger
Orc saves Dekka and they have a really honest talk, they both admit they're both loners - Dekka because she's gay, Orc because he's rock, but when they part Dekka tells Orc he's a hero, I thought that was really sweet
When Albert bails, he offers to let Quinn come with them.
By the end of the story, Caine saves one girl who runs into the fire with his powers, seems impressed Quinn is willing to tell Caine exactly what he thinks of him, and (after insisting he go on a very dangerous mission with him and Sam) actually tells him to save himself "Just get out of here Quinn, and try to stay alive." Seems like Caine wasn't a total monster after all. Oh, and he even uses his powers to levitate Sam down a cliff, they make quite a good team.
And when the barrier goes down - and parents start asking about their kids (many of whom are dead), Sam mentions that one of the kids was "Killed because it was the only way we could deal with him" Who do you think that was? Zil? Antoine? They're the only people that Team Sam killed so far as I remember.
Oh, and by the end of the book, Gaia has used some ability to make light, used Lana's healing ability, did something to make Penny suffer (presumably with her own ability) and used Caine's ability to throw Sam in the air and crush Caine against the barrier
Man I love this book, MG is a great writer. Somehow despite having numerous characters each one is unique and fun to read.

My wife 43F I 45M have been married 23 years and have 4 kid together(all older now). She is a teacher at a tough school and has teacher friends she hangs out with after work on Fridays from 4pm until past midnight even 1am. She hangs out with them this year now 3-4x a week after school. They are mix of singles and married M and F friends. I am always invited to come hang out and her friends know me. I came out one night and had fun.
The next Friday I was planning to go again to hang out with my wife, and she said not this week, that right was a red flag for me right there. She said she wanted alone time w her friends, ok no problem.
Well fast forward to this last night, it was getting late, past midnight, and i was checking in life 360(like find my phone app) to see where my wife was at to see if she was coming home. It was 1:30am and noticed it looked like she was in the parking lot. I was worried she was too drunk to get home and gave her a call.
We have a Tesla and she accidentally answered and i could hear her talking to someone. It was a guy, I could faintly hear what they were talking about. Then I could hear a voice I recognized, a guy S and was one of his friends. I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation. Things i could hear were … “this something you want..” “you can’t compare me with your husband “ i could hear her say “he is great but..” I heard about 8 minutes worth of chatter and going back and forth.
I Immediately ran out the door and started driving in her direction 20 minutes out. I could hear kissing , and moaning and kissing. I was like oh hell no! Then I went off mute and I said you know i can hear you! You answered the phone! She was like “you don’t know what heard” .. “we aren’t doing anything” something like that. I was like, is that F Sean? She said she is coming home let’s talk about this at home. Ok I hung up and went home.
She took an hour to get home, even dropped off S, smh. Got home and I got the “what do you think you hear?” I told her everything. She said she was drunk and didn’t really know what she was doing. It didn’t mean anything, she loves our life, loves me, wants to be with me. That they only kissed and didn’t have sex. That she never has cheated in me before. She said what do you want to do? How do we move forward? I was basically assured it wouldn’t happen again and we kissed and made up as i tried to be calm about it. We even had quick sex(I didn’t want her throwing up on me). After we were done she passed out and slept like a baby.
Well I did not sleep a wink and it’s 6am here , my heart rate has been pumping as i go through the events of tonight. I have looking online on how move forward and if I can forgive and trust her again? I plan to have a calm conversation with her later today. I will also need to see a shrink to talk to someone, because my son just got in a car accident, my dad getting Alzheimer’s and we are moving my parents out of our childhood home. Lots going on. She didn’t have sex w that person, he is gross by the way. She did admit to kissing him. I initially chalked it up as she got drunk and didn’t know what she was doing. But my mind has been spinning.
Is there hope? I still love her. I want to make this work. We have a family. Will I be able to sleep? Will I be able to trust her?

First of all, I am very sorry if this is a well-covered subject. I feel like this is the kind of problem a lot of people might have had faced already. I am new to this community. Please feel free to refer me to past videos/posts that already cover what I'm asking about.
I have been playing video games since I was 3 years old. Even before that, my mom used to put me on her lap as she was playing video games and that would always calm me down. It has always been my favorite passtime. The only two things in my life that can ever feel better than playing are having sex/watching porn and masturbating or hanging out with friends.
Nothing else feels as good to me, even though I do have hobbies. I write, I play the piano, I go to the gym. I study psychology and I really like it. I give English lessons for some extra cash. All of these feel good, but not good enough. I can't truly commit to any of these.
I am now at a point where I have no doubt I am addicted to video games. I neglect not only my work and studies, I have not commited a single minute to my hobbies for about 3 months now, I overeat, undersleep, my libido went down and all I can think about is playing video games, usually 2 at a time, one idle game in the background, one more attention-demanding video game on the foreground. I will also listen to a podcast or just a random video of someone talking about something I don't really care about at the same time.
On paper I know what the solution is. What I should be doing is making a list of tasks I can realistically complete in a day, cleaning myself up, cleaning up my workspace, taking care of my tasks, and then, when I'm done, go and play some games.
Here's the problem though: doing these tasks feels unbearable to me even though I want to do them! My mind drifts away and I think about games. I do these pointless breaks like I will start studying but "oh I need to make myself a coffee", then go back to studying for 5 minutes, then I need to smoke, then checking the idle game for a minute won't hurt and I keep deluding myself that I will still have enough time to do everything or that I don't really need to do all that today, I can do some of it tomorrow. And this way studying 1 hour a day for a week turns into painfully, ineffectively studying for 6 hours directly before an exam and barely passing it.
And here's why I am worried that quitting completely and forever might be the solution:
Some 5 years ago I was arrested under a drug posession charge. I spent 2 months in jail before I was let out on bond, got probation, stopped breaking the law and basically fixed my life.
During these 2 months the first week was hell, I was sharing a cell with a literall murderer and another violent individual. I was also going through benzo withdrawal. But after we had a fight I got transferred to a cell with two very chill dudes that were also in for petty shit like me. Jail is boring af, so I found stuff to do. I bought notebooks, pens, pencils, I took out books from the library. I was reading more than one book a day, I was writing, drawing, playing cards with the guys, talking some, excercizing. Went from 100kg+ to 80kg in these two months (I know this is an unhealthy pace, but I was eating all my assigned food and I wasn't aware I was loosing weight. Didn't even have a mirror in my cell. I wasn't trying to do so either).
After some time I stopped feeling sad about being in jail. It was just normal. I was fully expecting to get 1-2 years for possesion and just live this life for some time.
But then I got out. And holy shit, life FELT GOOD. The grass was green as fuck, the sky was lovely. Ice cream tasted great, books were still fun to read. Of course after I met up with my family and friends, I went home. And I played for the whole night. But I didn't the next day. I excersized as usual, I made coffee, smoked a cig as usual and went to reading. I went on walks, I was applied for college, I found a job, I was still doing good, but slowly I went back to playing more and more and more and over the years I slowly got to the point where I was before, just not doing drugs.
And hey, I'm proud of myself. I had a serious issue that could KILL ME. Now I'm just unproductive. I still smoke and yeah, it's killing me slowly, but the benzos and the amount of booze I was consuming back then could have easily killed me on a bad day.
So here I am now. I've tried controlling myself, limiting screentime, but with no outside force to stop me, I always break my own rules.
I feel like the rule of "No video games, no youtube except for education/growth, TV only as passtime with girlfriend" would be easier for me to follow".
But video games are fucking fun, man. I love them. They've always been there. I love experiencing stories through them. I love playing with friends, meeting new friends online. I love the satisfaction of getting all the achievments in a game.
But I hate my current state.
Please let me know if there's anything else I can do. I am determined to fix my life but if there is a way for me to do so without giving my favorite passtime up, let me know.
I am planning to go to therapy, will call about an appointment after the weekend. (EDIT: actually, decided to check if I can book a visit online and I can. So I'm booked for July)
Thank you in advance for your attention, I have high hopes. While I wait for your answers, I'm gonna go and clean up myself, my place and get ready to go to the gym. There is no day like today and I'm at least gonna try, damn it.

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
★
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
★
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

May got out to a lightning start for me, continuing the torrid April pace for a while before cooling off a bit in the back end of the month. That's partially by design, as I jumped into a pair of longer games (one enormously so) which I won't finish until deeper into June, but I've also noticed I'm slowly bleeding gaming time from my evenings. As my kids get incrementally older and the days grow incrementally longer entering summer, an hour that would previously be my own is now deferred to them, and that adds up over the course of an entire month.
Not that I'd trade my kids, you understand.
(Games are presented in chronological completion order; the numerical indicator represents the YTD count.)
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#27 - Contra: Hard Corps - GEN - 8/10 (Great)
It's been fascinating to watch the Contra series evolve over time, and Hard Corps on the Sega Genesis is no different. With no Mode 7 (the SNES' proprietary isometric viewpoint mode) available on the system, necessarily some of the top down content from Contra III would need to be altered or removed, and that begged the question of what would take its place: after all, a return to basic sidescrolling action might feel like a big step down, and we can't have that. So I think I expected Hard Corps to throw in a new wrinkle to keep the formula a bit more fresh. What I did not expect was for it to make three enormous changes.
For one, Hard Corps has four different characters to choose from, and each is actually unique. It's not just the look - where else can you play a cybernetic wolfman? - but they've got different sizes and hurtboxes as well. And while each starts with the same basic low power machine gun, each has a completely different loadout of possible weapon upgrades, ensuring that all four play very differently from one another outside of the fundamentals of movement. To that end, the two weapon toggle of Contra III is expanded in Hard Corps, allowing you to hold all four of your upgraded weapons simultaneously and switch between them at will, which adds a new layer of depth and strategy to the action. Building upon this notion of enhanced player choice even further, the second big change is that the game has branching paths. After the first stage you make a choice that determines where you head for the second level, and then later on you make another choice that creates further divergence, such that the game has four main endings (and a secret fifth!), all with their own dedicated unique stages. It's for that reason possibly the most replayable game so far in the franchise; I myself did a run through of each ending using a different character per run to get a feel for them all.
This leads to the final big change, which is the only one I don't regard a resounding success: the entire game is basically a boss rush. Let's zero in on the main path that I followed on my primary playthrough and add up all mini-bosses and full boss phases. What number might you expect that to come out as? A dozen or so? Well, sorry about your naiveté, but the answer is 43: it's bosses all the way down. This is a MUCH more mentally taxing load than previous Contra games where you could kind of skate through the non-boss sections with good fundamentals. And that's just one of four possible paths through the game! It's absurd! It's also way more fun than it sounds it would be from the description, but I've heard people say Hard Corps is the toughest Contra game and now I know why. I do miss just running and gunning and dropping dudes in one hit before a thrilling finale; it's hard to be properly wowed by a boss fight when that's all you ever see. But nevertheless Contra: Hard Corps is lives up to the legacy of greatness the franchise had up until that point established...just steel yourself mentally for the extensive memorization it requires of you.
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#28 - Ancient Enemy - PC - 5.5/10 (Semi-Competent)
Solitaire is one of those games that nobody really wants to play. It’s a game of convenience and opportunity, only attractive in the absence of something better, which is to say “nearly anything else at all.” Slightly more entertaining are variations on the form, such as Mahjong Solitaire or Free Cell, where certain cards/tiles are locked until the ones above them have been cleared away. These are still just time wasting games for people with nothing else to do, but when presented as a discrete set of challenges there’s a bit more appeal. Do you know they say that every one of the 32,000 numbered games of FreeCell on classic Windows operating systems was supposedly beatable? Did you know a very bored teenage me once decided to see if I could prove it by playing and beating every single unique game of FreeCell in order? I got into the low 30s or so before I questioned what the hell I was doing with my life and wisely moved on.
Well, Ancient Enemy is a game for people with nothing better to do, masquerading as a game that would qualify as "something better to do." It’s an RPG, I guess, but the gameplay revolves entirely around a solitaire variant. You have a deck of “stock cards” numbered 0-9 and start each encounter (“hand”) by flipping the top one. Then on the board you have to collect a card with a number adjacent to the one you’re displaying - 0 serving as a bridge between 1 and 9. Getting a card reveals any card trapped immediately below it and enables that card to be collected as well. If you can’t make a move, you can flip a new stock card over to get a random new number until your deck runs out. Some levels are simple puzzles in this vein, trying to clear all the cards from the board. Most encounters though are battles, where you do the exact same thing, except the color of the card you collect enables you to attack, defend, or cast a spell. So it’s turn-based combat, except each turn is you basically clearing as many cards as you can from the board to juice up your attack or bolster your defense, and that’s about it.
Now, at first, this is actually way more fun than I’m making it sound. I mean, I like solitaire type games for what they are, and the extra mechanics definitely do enrich the experience. You get consumable wild cards, battle boards have bonus cards with instant benefits, you get powers that manipulate the board, new types of cards appear, all good stuff. The problem is that the game completely runs out of these new ideas about a quarter of the way through, at which point you’re just going through the motions until the end, accompanied by a complete nothing of a story that I was confident I had figured out, only to find that the ending was somehow worse than the cliche I’d been anticipating. Thus, the game sadly settled into that exact same niche of games it was supposed to improve upon and supplant. Which I suppose is ok…if you’ve got nothing better to do.
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#29 - Snakebird Primer - PC - 7/10 (Good)
I follow a general rule of always playing game franchises in order, but Snakebird Primer is a unique case wherein the developers of the original Snakebird decided that it was too off-putting to new players, and so they made a sequel that they explicitly wanted newcomers to play first. A "primer" in truth to ease you into the overall Snakebird challenge, as it were. So when I decided to check out Snakebird, I thought all right: just this once I'll do it your way.
So how does Snakebird Primer shake out? Well...it's fine. It's a jaunty kind of puzzle game, with bright colors, friendly art and music, and general good vibes. In each stage you control one or more segmented "snakebirds" and have to get them all to the rainbow portal to complete the level. Sometimes you need to eat fruit to open the portal as well, but that's the entire game in a nutshell. It's a very simple concept, complicated only by the fact that a snakebird that has no body segments touching the ground will fall, and so each stage is a kind of pathing challenge, tasking you to figure out the right order of operations to reach the end. The levels are very well paced and designed if you just go in order: there aren't any hand-holdy tutorials, but new ideas are introduced organically at various intervals, and the challenge always feels reasonable, especially because you can undo any number of moves at will, like stepping through code to find an error.
There is, however, a significant difficulty spike for the last couple levels, which is pretty jarring. And when you add to that the fact that the designer of Baba Is You said he built a lot of his design philosophy around the original Snakebird, I've got to admit I'm a lot less keen on checking that one out. It's in that same realm of "enter these six dozen commands in precisely the right order" that made Baba Is You eventually feel more tedious and frustrating to me than anything else, so I think for now I'm happy to have just played the "lite" version instead.
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#30 - It Takes Two - PS4 - 8.5/10 (Excellent)
When trying to write down a genre for It Takes Two in my tracking spreadsheet, I wanted to put "Yes". It's as though the developers wanted to make a bunch of different kinds of games and, rather than accepting any limitations (self-imposed or otherwise), they just found a way to do it all at once. It Takes Two is a platformer. It's a third-person shooter. It's a puzzle game. It's a rhythm game. It's a racing game. It's a stealth game. It's a boss battling action adventure. It's a minigame collection. It's a romantic comedy. It's an exploration playground. One minute you're flying around on a jetpack chucking Captain America shields at devils and the next you're literally playing a timed game of chess. None of the things that It Takes Two does would be characterized as masterpiece forms of their respective genres, but that's not the point. There's sufficient depth and development of each mechanic that it never feels like a lazy tack-on to check a box - and that in itself is beyond impressive - but it's the sheer number of different ideas tossed into this package that make it truly special.
It's hard for me to even review this game, frankly. Part of that is because I feel a strong bias towards the game for the audaciousness of what it tries to achieve, and for the way it inspires me to keep stretching myself in new ways however I can. But it's also hard because I don't remember the whole thing. It Takes Two is both fresh in memory, having just finished it, and yet far away and mingled in my mind with similar bits of similar other adventures (Tearaway foremost among them). Why is that? Well, I first booted up It Takes Two in May of 2022 as a co-op experience to share with my wife - quite fitting, as it turns out, given the nature of the game's plot of trying to reconcile an embattled couple. We'd only play in smaller bursts of 1-2 hours at a time, but every session we played it felt like we were playing a new, different game. Music to my ears, but much harder on my gaming-challenged wife, who took longer to adjust to each mechanical shift. Pretty soon we were playing less and less often, even as I was playing a game like Tearaway early on that occupied some similar design space in my head. Soon we stopped playing at all. When I tried to suggest resuming this title over the past year, I was repeatedly rebuffed until finally a month ago I managed to wear her down enough that we picked it up again for about an hour a week. So it is that the first half of the game is fuzzy and nebulous to me, even as I recall that I loved playing, whereas the back half is much fresher, and it's nigh impossible for me to separate my wife's frequent frustrations from my own experience - especially since I've been playing on a controller experiencing heavy stick drift, so managing the camera was a nightmare through no fault of the game's.
All that said, how could I not recommend this game? It's best played with two experienced gamers, but the story only fully lands if you play as a couple, so there's a bit of potential for a disconnect there, as I experienced. It's not a perfect game. But it is an incredibly ambitious one that had me routinely grinning from ear to ear, despite the grumblings on the couch next to me. When I pointed out to my wife that we finished the game in May 2024, almost to the day when we started back in '22, she said "They should've called it It Takes Two Years." We're both glad it's over, but I think for very different reasons.
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#31 - Rogue Legacy 2 - PS5 - 7/10 (Good)
Some game sequels try to really shake things up and try something different from the one before. Final Fantasy is probably the biggest and most obvious example of this, but you can also see it in virtually every Super Mario Bros. game, in the Castlevania series, and the list goes on extensively from there. On the other hand, some game sequels treat their predecessors like rough drafts to be perfected. With these, the idea is to take the vision for the previous game, use the increase in time/budget/developer expertise now available, and try to execute on it more completely than was possible before. When a game like this is successful, there becomes almost zero reason to ever play the original game (other than possibly its story), because the new version has replaced it entirely as the definitive experience.
Rogue Legacy 2 is one of these latter types of games. Everything from the first game is pretty much still there (bosses excepted): enemies, basic combat and room design, character classes, traits, progression, etc. It immediately feels like "Hey, I've played this before," yet a cursory look reveals a huge wealth of additional content over the first game. Classes are better differentiated, you get new weapons, more spells, special abilities, new items, new upgrades, new explorable regions, new mechanics, new new new. It truly is a total replacement for Rogue Legacy 1 in this regard, a "go ahead and uninstall that thing forever because we've got it all right here and then some" type of mission statement. I was amazed at how I kept finding ever more avenues of progression and discovery, even many hours into the game, In fact, I never did manage to play as every class, and each class has a variant form as well, most of which I didn't even unlock. It's overflowing with stuff.
And I think that's why it didn't work quite as well for me as the first game: it's all too much. Now there are four different types of currency, all acquired in different ways, all for different upgrade paths. You're always competing with yourself on what to level up between runs because there are too many choices and all of them seem pretty good, but as you're finding your early groove the game throws a big wrench in there: labor costs. While each upgrade has a set gold cost that increases as you level it up, early on the game adds a universal tax mechanic to the entire upgrade tree, making it increasingly prohibitive to spend your money on stuff, and it feels awful. Rogue Legacy 1 had a similar system where each upgrade cost 10g more than the previous, but in the sequel these escalate far more rapidly, to the point where you'll complete a huge run and still feel like you can only afford one or two upgrades that barely move the needle. It's a pure inflationary grinding system meant to pad playtime, and I'm not about that. I played RL1 through multiple New Game + levels, but I was thrilled to beat RL2's final boss and move on because the economy is so frustrating. Other than that though, it's got quite a lot going for it.
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#32 - Undertale - PS4 - 7/10 (Good)
When is some information too much information? Undertale is notorious for its rabid fan community insisting that there is only one "right" way to play the game, and so if you've ever heard of Undertale there's a good chance you already know what that preferred method is: pacifism. Undertale takes a unique approach to the JRPG in two primary ways: first, that defending against enemy attacks is an active system pretty much akin to dodging in a bullet hell game, and second that you almost never actually need to choose the "Fight" command from the battle menu in order to succeed in an encounter. The argument from the community is that you must play in this fully pacifist manner, largely because of a design decision that thoroughly punishes players who do not, only revealed after the game's conclusion. Thus, these players are "helping" curious newcomers by saving them from falling victim to a fairly vindictive design choice that would create a lot of frustration.
The problem with that approach is that Undertale makes it abundantly clear from the outset that you have the option for these alternative combat approaches, trains you on how to use them, and then gives you a positive feedback loop for choosing that direction with your gameplay. Which means the discourse surrounding this game effectively undermines not only the game's own ability to surprise and educate you, but also the authorial intent of that same design decision, which in context is a conscious player decision to go against the grain and suffer the possible consequences of doing so. In short, I wish I'd never heard of Undertale before I played it, as I'm sure I would've had a much better time.
As it stands, Undertale is still a highly creative take on the genre that, despite an aesthetic I didn't care for and writing that leaned a bit too hard at times into "lol I'm so random" territory for my tastes, still managed to get me invested with some of its characters and even make me laugh aloud at times. I was particularly impressed with that aforementioned approach to combat, as each enemy introduced unique hazards to avoid, so fighting a new monster was far more exciting here than in a standard turn-based RPG where the only meaningful question is "How much damage did this whatever move do to me?" So for those reasons I applaud Undertale. Even still, there's a lot of walking back and forth with no major purpose beyond "it was decided the game should be a little bit inconvenient here," adding some unnecessary tedium to the mix. In short, Undertale's a generally good time, but if you want it to be even better, just pretend you haven't read anything I just said.
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#33 - Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales - PS5 - 7.5/10 (Solid)
2018 was a big year for Miles Morales. In the fall he showed up in the PS4 title Marvel's Spider-Man as a major supporting character, and by the end of the year he was stunning cinema audiences in the fantastic Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as the primary protagonist. It's no surprise then that by 2020, with his brand so hot, Sony and Insomniac Games would cash in with a follow-up title to the hit PS4 game with Miles front and center. And for the most part, the game is what you'd expect it to be from that basic pitch: more of the same from 2018, only focusing on Miles' family, his new home of Harlem and its people, and his path to becoming a fully fledged hero in his own right. That's all fine, but here's the problem: all of it has been done better before, and recently to boot. Miles' story of personal growth and family drama was handled better in the Spider-Verse series, even though MSM:MM wisely walks chooses to walk some different beats along the way. "Superhero of Harlem" was done masterfully by Netflix with the Luke Cage series (the first season, at least) back in 2016, and MSM:MM doesn't even try to address any issues beyond the most surface level. And the "more of the same" gameplay?
Well, admittedly that's still pretty good. Web swinging is as fun as ever to the point that there's an XP challenge to web swing at high speed for a full cumulative hour of real time and I caught myself thinking, "Hmm, maybe..." There are fast travel points that unlock relatively early on, but the joy of traversal feels like the main point of the game, so why would you bother? Miles also gets some new Spidey moves related to his bio-electric powers, and these are really fun and impactful to pull off, such that "more of the same" isn't in this case a damning phrase. And yet, it's also distinctly not "more, but better." In order to emphasize your new powers, the goons you fight (now including women for the first time I can recall ever seeing in a superhero game like this) have upgraded their own abilities as well, which means the simple pleasure of chaining big combos is a bit diminished. Maybe this enemy just blocks all your basic attacks and stops you cold. Maybe this one turns the tables to dodge and counter you. Or maybe you're just constantly surrounded by a flood of dudes with guns and rocket launchers and you feel like you never get a chance to press "punch" without being thoroughly punished.
Now add to that the game's relatively brief length and general lack of meaningful activities compared to its predecessor, as well as its truly awful villains and the ho-hum plot that they service, and you've got a title that's decidedly a step back from what came before. Of course, what came before was excellent, so even a step back still lands you in territory that's quite fun to play around with. My 6-year-old summed it up best when he came downstairs to ask me a question one day and caught me playing: "Whoa...how are you Spider-Man?!" Which is to say that Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales is a game that really makes you feel like a wannabe Spider-Man who hasn't gotten it all figured out just yet. And I guess that's all right.
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Coming in June:

• I've had less time for PC gaming lately for a couple of different reasons, but I'm expecting that to be a temporary thing, and I don't think I'm in danger of failing to finish Mass Effect 3 by the end of June. I didn't realize the version of the game I had included all the DLC. Nor did I actually know what any of the DLC was. So I was quite a ways into the game and feeling great about my progress when I got suspicious that the section I was playing wasn't actually base game content. I looked it up and found that, in fact, about 90% of what I'd played to date was DLC and I'd barely actually started the base game itself. That explains why the main story was taking a while to get off the ground, at any rate.
• Speaking of getting off the ground, my journey through The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom began impatiently a few months after release, but I took an extended break from the game and have now spent pretty much all of May continuing my thorough trek through the game world. I'm well over 200 hours into the game and am only several days away from having explored the entirety of the game's map. At which point I believe I'll finally advance the main quest past its initial stage.
• In my review for Rogue Legacy 2 above I mentioned the Castlevania franchise, which I feel I can speak to as a whole given that I've finished nearly every game in the series to date. Unsurprisingly I felt most drawn to the metroidvania style games, so there was a layer of disappointment in exhausting the last of those to discover. Disappointment that will soon be temporarily eradicated when I boot up Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, produced by that same creative mind.
• And more...

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Hi everyone, throwaway account here.
I've been with my GF(20F) together for almost three years now, living together for a year. We usually get along really good, had some arguments in the past, but nothing too big.
The main issue in our relationship is that she is more extroverted, having her small group of girlfriends (all of them are single now) since they were little, why I usually preferred spending time alone/with my family. Before we started dating, she was partying/clubbing pretty much every weekend and with any occasion she got, but after we met she greatly reduced these activities because of me (she also gave up drinking/smoking), but in the same time she also distanced herself from her girlfriends, and now she wants to start going out with them again. I know how important they are to my GF, but I absolutely hate when she says that she will go out with them, going to music festivals, clubbing and so on. I have already said 'no' to her a couple of times, but that won't do any good in the long run.
It's almost like I hate knowing she's out having fun, but I don't know why I feel this way. I am not afraid that she's cheating on me or that something can happen to her, but I just don't like knowing she's spending her nights in clubs or festivals or whatever. She usually texts me and responds to my messages, so she's not giving me reasons to believe she's cheating. Also, if she's gone during the day I really don't mind, but during nighttime it's when I start freaking out.
I have tried doing things while she's gone (playing video games, watching movies, talking on discord with friends), but I can't ignore all my thoughts when she's out. I am also pretty afraid that she will start smoking again or drink too much as all of her girlfriends do, but I don't want to be controlling and toxic for her as these years should the best years of our lives.
Please give me advice on what to do with our relationship. Are we too different and it won't work out, or should I just suck it up and get used to it? We really love each other and we have been together through a lot during these years. Breaking up could be quite difficult for both of us, as this is our first relationship, and on top of that we still have to live together until our renting contract ends (in about a month). Please tell me what you think, and sorry for the long post.

I asked for advice a few times from this sub and I just wanted to come back and share how much we loved our visit!
I'm from the US (Florida) and have been wanting to go to Alton Towers since I was a kid playing Rollercoaster Tycoon. I'm also a huge B&M invert lover and horror lover, so Nemesis was my dream coaster and top of the bucket list.
I've been a traveling theme park enthusiast my whole life and I've been over to the UK a few times in my life but never made the effort to get to Alton Towers until this year - honestly so overdue.
We went mid week in late April, away from holidays. The park was generally pretty dead, as expected. We did two and a half days. I'm glad we had that much time as we got to do everything multiple times. Weather was good - cool, and only hit major one rain of the days and only for a couple hours.
Here's my thoughts on each ride (approximately in order of ranking), then I'll talk about feedback on the park overall and the hotel:
Nemesis - Amazing! Loved it, absolutely worth the trip. I adore the horror theme and the scenery is gorgeous. I wish it was a slightly longer ride (of course that's a theme with Alton Towers), so I can't quite say it is my favorite B&M invert overall - I think that title still belongs to Montu. But it is very close and I would say a top 10 coaster overall.
Smiler - Loved it! I was not sure I would as I read many things about it being rough, and I am roughness sensitive. Honestly I can say, I did not find this to be a rough coaster. For comparison, at Thorpe Park, Saw and Colossus are pretty much not rideable because of how rough/painful/headbanging they are. Smiler, no, not at all.
I wasn't expecting Smiler to become one of my all time favorite coasters but I think it did. I heard the front row is the only good row - did not find that to be the case either. The front row is best but it's not by much, I found it to be a good ride in every row. Left me slightly dizzy after each half of the ride, but not in a bad way.
Wicker Man - Loved it! I'm not a huge wooden coaster fan overall because I don't have a huge roughness tolerance, but thankfully Wicker Man is not at all rough. I love the theme and the pre-show. The ride is pure fun. We were lucky enough to get a front row ride which was my favorite.
Thirteen - I think this is overhated - I really enjoyed it! The theme is great (I do love horror themes) and I don't mind that this is more of a family coaster. The only thing I would really want to improve it would be a slightly longer drop and an animatronic instead of a static set piece in the drop room.
Galacticair - Despite never having been here before, I've always thought of this coaster by its original name. Really enjoyed it! I'm not the biggest fan of flying coasters in general, and I think I do like that this is less intense than some of the others.
Alton Towers needs to get on a retheme, scenery, and paint job for it though. It's looking a bit rough and could use some love.
Oblivion - It's a fun drop. The first time I rode it, I was like - I walked all the way through this massive queue line for that? I didn't realize it really is literally JUST the drop. Unfortunately I'm spoiled by having Sheikra at my home park. But the second time riding and knowing what to expect, I was like - yeah, this is a really good drop and the black hole theme is cool.
Spinball Whizzer - It's a spinning coaster. You like them or you don't like them. I like them alright - although Dragon's Fury at Chessington was actually amazing. Spinball Whizzer is alright.
Runaway Mine Train - This is a cute family coaster, good fun. I love the long train. Our ride op sent us around 3 times. Only rode this once which was enough to get the idea but I will definitely ride it again next time.
Rita - This is the only coaster at Alton Towers that I'm not really a fan of. Rode twice, first time back row, second time waited for front row. It's worth the wait for the front row. It's a bit rough for me otherwise. Before coming, I honestly thought - who cares if it's just the launch, I love launches! But for whatever reason this launch is kind of mediocre and then the rest of the ride is somewhere between painful and boring.
Non coasters:
Curse at Alton Manor - Loved it! I'm spoiled having been to Disney/Universal a good bit, and I know Alton Towers does not have the budget to produce the same caliber of dark ride - but Curse is really quite outstanding considering that limitation. Love the theme (as usual with the whole park) and they tell a really good story.
Nemesis Sub Terra - I don't think this deserves all the hate it gets. It's a cool experience - maybe not especially rerideable, and the "ride" portion is underwhelming, but it was a fun one time ride. I do wish cooler stuff happened with the egg. Also, the part where it whips your legs really hurt.
Gangsta Granny - Rode it once, it's very cute considering it cannot be Disney level. I do not mean to sound spoiled and hope that I don't - I just know what is theoretically possible with a dark ride, but given budgets, this a very cute family ride.
Dungeon - Did the London one a few years ago and remember liking that better, but this wasn't bad at all. It was a fun time and I'm glad I did it, especially with the Merlin pass discount. Unlikely I'd spend the time to do it again on a return visit. I know it's closing this summer, not sure if that's permanent, but honestly if it was permanent and they replace it with something else, I think that would be just fine.
Hex - Booooooo it was closed. Gives me something else to look forward to when I return, which I hope to do whenever Project Horizon is done.
Food:
Rollercoaster Restaurant: Did this both nights we stayed here. It was mostly alright, I had a burger that was pretty good. The nachos were a joke. The curry chickpea thing was decent. The gluten free menu was pretty pathetic, but at least they had some options so that my husband could eat dinner.
Middle Eastern restaurant by Wicker Man (I forget its name): This was the only place to get a meal in the park that had GF accommodation that we found. For whatever dumb reason, the chicken and chips that they CAN make gluten free is not advertised that way on the menu. But to their credit, the cook was SUPER good about making sure to cook the meal in a safe way for someone with a gluten allergy.
Ate there twice, and the food was actually pretty good.
My only complaint - both this and the one near Rita sell baked potatoes, which are one of the only things in the park we found that would be gluten free, and both days they seemed to run out of the potatoes at midday. One day, we got the literal last half a potato they had left, and the other, they were already out.
I saw that Alton Towers had a notice up about switching suppliers or something and bringing more GF options to their menus... that's needed. Hopefully next time the situation will be better.
Ice cream by the Curse: Ok, I have to say, I was obsessed with this. The black ice cream in the black cone just made me happy. And it was really delicious. Especially with the toppings even if they kept falling off. Got it two days in a row, would get it every day on a return visit.
Hotel:
Splash Landings: No real complaints here, it was what I was expecting. Certainly didn't need air conditioning for the time of year. The staff was very friendly and they were great about storing multiple bags for us both on our arrival and on our checkout day.
The breakfast was good for a buffet style breakfast. Enough GF options to eat a good sized meal.
The only actual complaint I have, and this one is weird, but true - the shower is terrible. It has a half glass door that didn't lock in place, and the sides of the tub are tall. This is a recipe for disaster as it's very tempting to hold the door to try to climb out of the tub... but it doesn't lock, so if you do that, you're likely to fall and break your head open. And if you don't hold on... well, good luck climbing out of the tall tub with nothing to grip onto. Not even a towel rail.
I genuinely don't know how they went with something this unsafe in their design process. I don't know how people aren't injuring themselves all the time.
Overall thoughts:
It's certainly spread out - I was warned. It takes some hustling to get from one area to another in a timely fashion, but I didn't find it to be too much. It sure would be though in hot weather, I'll take cold any day.
Actually my biggest "complaint" is how long the queues are in terms of - walking forever, often uphill, to get to the ride. I'm used to theme parks that are able to section off large parts of the line when not in use which doesn't seem to happen much here.
Legit, it's a workout to ride Nemesis if it's not busy and all you have to do is walk to the station.
I didn't find the park to be run down, unclean, or understaffed. All the staff was great, and operations were great. Multiple trains on everything despite it not being busy at all.
Overall we absolutely loved our time here! It lived up to my expectations for sure. Nemesis, Smiler, and Wicker Man were my favorite things, but I dug Thirteen and Curse too.
And as I mentioned, Rita is the only ride I didn't really like - from someone who has visited a ton of theme parks, only one dud with the rest of the stuff being quality is kind of rare.
I'm so glad I finally got to visit, and I will absolutely be back. Hopefully Project Horizon actually happens and isn't later than 2026... currently that's the year I'd plan to come back.
Can't wait for my return!

Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.

I'm really wanting to take my DUI 1st offense to trial as it's a misdemeanor and in a small small town with 1 prosecutor whose also the DA.
For context:
The cops here are known for just pulling people over and handing out citations at a whim. Even the county DA's office laughed at me when I asked for a court date for tickets directly before getting the DUI charge. She said they don't assign court dates for tickets or lesser offenses bc they get so many and if they gave dates the court system would get bogged down.
I'm guessing most just pay the fine and move on, but I strongly believe in exercising my rights. I also wasn't drinking the night in question when I was accused of DUI. Worst case scenario they give me 24 hrs in jail, which I've completed half already, and probation. Best case scenario is I beat the prosecution as a pro se attorney and maybe effect slight change in the area.
Now back to the original reason for the post. I have a decent grasp on the criminal system and how court works. Tbh I think this would be the best way to gain experience for me and anyone looking to help.
I'm not looking for someone to represent me at all. More so if I have a 3rd or 4th party pointing to things I'm not seeing in my case.
I already have the discovery and so far they have no evidence for the traffic infractions alleged as the reason for the stop. The only thing I see in the videos is me fumbling over words or possibly the officers body cam interfering with the audio or mic for the first 2 questions the officers asked me. Then from there I sound fine and when he asks me out the car and to perform the tests I did great and no more audio distortions.
The officer performing the tests and ultimately arresting me was breathing extremely heavy during the majority of the interaction and he's not a heavy set guy nor had he been exerting physical exercise. I also think he lied about the reasons for the stop (me crossing a yellow line) because in the US the Supreme Court just ruled that officers cant stop someone after only running their plates and seeing a license suspended as the owner of the vehicle may have loaned the car out.
Officer also wrote a poor report leaving out a lot and lying on other things. I think it'll be fun on cross, when or if he even shows up to trial.
If anyone's serious about digesting the evidence and lending some advice we can continue to talk.
If this is not allowed or if I need to post more in the original post please let me know.
Thank you all for taking the time to read and help.
Edit: I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy or pity. I hope that we can all keep the conversation constructive.

The battles I went through in my head. On one hand you should not give up on people but on the other hand? The hand I should’ve took seriously, some people need to be given up on. You took advantage of the fact that I was conditioned to forgive loved ones for brutal acts. You chose right but you also chose wrong. See I faced quite a bit of damage bc although I can live in the abuse and take it and forgive a part of me still screams out but I’m also vocally stunted, something you made fun of and punished me for despite me telling you I went through periods of not speaking and had to take speech and would write down my thoughts. You didn’t care. You utilized me saying things wrong so you could deflect. You overwhelmed me. I blamed myself a lot for people not understanding me and you overwhelmed me by bullying me because then I would get stuck in my head, hurt as all hell, thinking it’s my fault you don’t care bc I’m not getting it out right to you.
Tell me, how evil do you have to be to do that to someone you care about? I sound ok sometimes but when you add in anxiety my words get even worse, but that’s all an excuse right? What you think is an excuse destroys me inside.. without your validation it still destroyed me inside. If I had a kid and you treated that kid that way, I’d hurt you. Brutally.
I don’t know how I found myself with a literal unconscious devil. How did I find myself with the biggest bully I had ever faced? How did you condition me to have me thinking it was me and my fault and that you did no wrong.
You would physically hurt me and then say you didn’t bc I wasn’t dead. You’ve told me things like “bitch if I wanted to snap you in half, I could” you broke things and threw things and then years later I started putting holes in walls. The night I finally attacked you I knew it was over for me. I played it safe until then walking on egg shells knowing the first time I mess up it would erase every thing you had done up until that point and boy was I right.
You still don’t believe me when I say I’m not afraid of you? I’d look your gun in the eye while telling you to go choke on a dick, preferably the dick of your clone since you’re so far up your one ass.
I’m not done yet.

My first reddit post, hope you guys go easy on me.

1. Her

I met her (let's call her missybusy) through a common friend group. My friends from my previous school were still connected to me and I often used to meet them. She was new to that friend group and it was her first time coming for a meetup. My friend has a pretty big place so a lot of us could accommodate at the same time. I am usually quiet and I talk less. I was sitting in the corner on the sofa and then I saw her enter through the door along with one other friend of mine. And oh my god, I was in awe and amazement because truthfully, I had never seen a girl so pretty and radiant. Her eyes were bright like the moon at night, her complexion fair like milk and her smile was just so beautiful I can’t even describe it in words. She was the quiet one as well so we both were seated in the corner having small to no conversation. This was my first meeting with her and then we met on multiple other meetups and it was always a few words of exchange. One of my friends (let's call him Dave) was actually sort of close to her and they both used to talk frequently. However, some problems arrived between Dave and missybusy and so Dave reached out to me for help. So, I tried to solve matters by talking to both Missybusy and Dave and this is how I started talking properly to Missybusy. I tried to solve the matter and, in the process, I became friends with Missybusy. And she was really fun to talk to! all this time I perceived her to be quiet and less talkative but when I started to talk to her, I realized that she has an amazing personality besides being so pretty. And around that time my friendship with her strengthened and we used to talk frequently but not every day. And somewhere among these conversations I developed a liking for her and so did she. We used to flirt a lot and it was so fun and pure. This went on for around 3 to 4 months and we continued to flirt and talk. And it was around the time of January when she had returned from the farewell of her high school and she showed me the pictures and she looked gorgeous. An absolute angel. And that night of constant flirting I always kept mentioning about another her in front Missybusy, I did that so she wouldn’t suspect that I liked her. But then she got serious and she confessed that she liked me and I was in a small shock but then I confessed to her as well. At this point one would think that this is it, this is where you guys get into a relationship. But no, I actually asked her to wait for our final exams to be over and even she wanted this. Around One and a half month later we went on our first date. And it was peaceful but it was a very dull date to be honest I took her from one place to another which I feel was terrible. I screwed up the first date. But she told me it was really peaceful and so I didn’t think much of it back then. We kept talking over WhatsApp and Instagram for almost another 2 months but we were not in a relationship yet because she said she wanted time and I believed I shouldn’t pressure her so I kept waiting thinking we have all the time in the world. She was an introvert and she didn’t go out much she liked staying at home more and I sort of found this trait cute, although it meant we didn’t get to meet a lot. 2. Dates and Love In the month of June, we went for another date and spoiler alert, this is the day I fell in love with her. We went to watch a movie- Spiderman, into the spider-verse, and to be honest the movie was decently funny and every time Missybusy laughed I looked at her and adored her smile. I noticed she was shivering, she felt cold because the cinema hall was actually very cold so I wrapped my arm around her so she wouldn’t feel cold and she just came closer and the annoying armrest was like a wall in between. In that moment, I made my purest and most honest wish to God (I’m very spiritual and religious). I asked God to always keep Missybusy happy no matter what. After the movie we exited the hall and we were standing near the exit of the mall and just talking and laughing. It was a blissful moment I can never forget that moment ever. She just jokingly pushed me and I literally fell down and I’ve got to say it was funny as hell. And while I was on the ground I saw her laughing so loudly and openly that I… I also fell in love. I was madly in love. We laughed and talked for another half an hour more and then the both of us went home. While on my way to home I realized that I had fallen for her and everything around me felt so soothing, so amazing and I was so happy. This was my favorite day with her and my best day yet. It was perfect, it was divine it was full of amazement and I for the first time felt what is it like to love. One problem I’ve always had is expressing my feelings. I end up thinking what the other person is going to think about my feelings and I’m going to be judged. But I still told her I love you but she hadn’t said it back yet. Another date we went on that she considered her favorite day with me was when we went to have pizzas. At first, we just walked around, talked a lot and laughed together. Held hands and roamed the paths. Then we came across a pizza shop and decided to have some pizza. Oh boy did I know what the day was going to unfold. She has two siblings so she always had been a fast eater when it came to pizzas and ice creams and at that time, I didn’t know that she ate pizzas so quickly. She finished her whole pizzas before I could finish two slices and to be fair, I’ve always been a slow eater and I didn’t eat very spicy food at the time. So, she was done with her pizza way before I had. She added chili flakes to my pizza slice which slowed my pace even more and she just sat there watching me eat and laughed at me while I was just trying my best to eat the pizza. I realized how much she was enjoying this so I just prolonged this whole thing, I ate slower, I made faces and I even called her a bully and she was laughing so much and, in my heart, I enjoyed that so much. I usually don’t allow people to mess with my food but seeing her laugh I just wanted this moment to last forever. A couple of time later, when everyone was busy filling applications for college, one of our friends (let’s call her jane) hosted a birthday party. The plan was that she will invite us all to our house and then from there we’ll go to a restaurant. So Missybusy and I went to buy gift for our friend and we bought two identical plushies for Jane. Anyways, that day was so special. Because when we all went back home and when Missybusy and I were talking over WhatsApp she said ‘I love you’. For the first time ever, I heard it from her, although it was still on text, I was jumping around screaming in joy and a few tears of joy appeared. I was beaming with joy. I was so happy. This should mean we were finally together, right? Nope. Our colleges were about to start soon and we both were enrolled in a different college, she said she wanted to see how our college life is going to affect our relationship. I didn’t think of it much since what could’ve gone wrong? College started and one month in and I could feel the distance increasing between us and she seemed busier than usual obviously but somewhere because of this she wasn’t giving me much time either. It was a Sunday afternoon when I confronted her about this and she seemed to have realized this as well and she said she’s really sorry about all this. But in the end, she said a relationship doesn’t seem possible. I was devastated but I didn’t shout or yell at her I tried to convince her in everyway possible. But it was futile. It seemed impossible to convince her. And the call ended with a goodbye.

1. The real end

Another problem that I had this whole time was not knowing when to give up trying and give up trying to keep her happy instead of myself. One day later she texted me and she asked if we could meet because she believed I deserved a proper goodbye. And I eventually went to meet her the very next day. And we talked a lot. She said she felt really sorry and she told me that I deserved the best. She told me she was overwhelmed by college; she saw so many faces together and it was difficult for her. I was just super sad but anyhow I controlled myself and I didn’t cry in front of her. But she did, she started crying and I couldn’t hold back then, I hugged her and patted her head telling it’s alright. After she stopped crying, she said she’s sorry and she told me she changed her mind, she had some expectations from a relationship and one of them was physical touch and since we lived far from each other that seemed less likely but she said one has to sacrifice something for love, and I was just confused. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I said I’ll let her know. Less than an hour after we went back to our homes, I messaged her saying that I’m ready and I want to be with her. Because I thought God had given us a second chance and I believed that it is very much possible and I shouldn’t take too long to tell her.
Everything was perfect for about a month. It was the month of October; we had a small quarrel over something and the next day I called her to apologize. But something seemed different, something felt off. She said it’s okay but I could feel something was off. The worst day of the year and the worst time of that day. She told me her brother had run away from their house because of something that happened with him and a girl and their family was in a lot of panic, and she was obviously worried and scared. She prayed to God to return her brother and she promised that she will never date someone again. I stood there, without movement, without words and I realized what it had meant. It meant an official goodbye. Breaking up in a way one could never expect. She told me to promise to not tell this reason for breakup to my friends (common friend group). I was the one who was given up. The call ended with both of us saying I love you but for the last time ever. I wasn’t at home; I was outside in a park. I felt as if someone had stabbed me right through the heart. I couldn’t feel the wind anymore. People seemed to have stopped talking. The sky lost its color, the birds stopped chirping. My whole world had come to a pause. I couldn’t think straight. I returned home acting normal. My father had come to visit, he rarely visits the city because him and my mother are separated so I don’t get to see my whole family together often so I didn’t want to spoil it. My mother and sister knew about Missybusy. Later that night I told my mom and sister that we broke up and my mom was worried but I told her to not worry because I was fine and I never told them the actual reason either, I just keep telling them I got bored of her so that they won’t worry about me, besides I had created such a wonderful image of missybusy for them I thought I should let it be that way. I couldn’t tell me friends what had happened, I didn’t tell my mom and sister what actually happened. I just kept it to myself and it hurt. It hurt really bad. I felt as if I had given her my heart and she shattered it and threw it away. I never hated her for it and I always blamed the circumstances.

1. Life goes on

I was broken. And as any person after a breakup felt sad and sorrowful, so did I. But I kept my emotions bottled and never told anyone the actual reason. I did everything possible to keep myself distracted, I played games for many hours in a day, I talked to multiple people at once, I scrolled Instagram for hours and I was even addicted. I was losing control and I was falling in a huge pit. Days went by, I was in a terrible mental state. I attended every meetup possible even the ones I didn’t feel like going to, I was spending money like I was a millionaire or something, and I was running out of it. In the month of December, I went to visit my father and when he went for work I was alone and bored so I re-installed snapchat and just took a snap and sent it to all, I didn’t realize it went to Missybusy as well. She replied to that snap and asked how I am doing and we started a small conversation, we were just catching up and all. I was still in a poor mental state but honestly it just felt good talking to her again. And I asked her one question- “When exactly did you move on” and she replied she hadn’t. I felt bad because I realized it must’ve been difficult for her as well, college was tough for her. She told me she dated someone for two days. I was devastated yet again. So that promise for which we had to break up meant nothing. But for some reason a part of me was relieved anyway because she didn’t deserve all this. But what about me? I felt self-pity at that point honestly. When she was gone, I felt as if a part of me was taken away. I never asked for this and I never thought that I’ll have to go through all this when I first said I love you to her. Although we decided we should keep talking but I just couldn’t, after everything I could not just see her as a friend, I’ll always see her as my first love. I always try my best to smile and fool around my friends because that's who I was before I met her but I didn’t force it back then. When I returned to my city, I knew I couldn’t let these bad habits be my future. I knew what happened with me wasn’t fair but I couldn’t let that destroy my career or life. I started learning new things. I got into the stock market learnt a bit of trading and made good sum of money. I was still playing games and was still somewhat addicted. But slowly but surely, I was recollecting myself. I tried avoiding meetups with my school friends’ group because they always bring up this topic and I just hated that. I wanted peace. No matter how the days went by the night were always difficult, I didn’t hate her but I hated that the thought of her kept coming in my mind. It was always hard to fall asleep.

1. The Present- I’m still not over her completely. A part of me will always have hope for her to come back even though my mind knows otherwise but the heart is just weird. I met my school group friends after a long time and I felt good. There were four of us (Me, Dave and let’s call the other two Bob and Marley). I get along with Marley very well, he has his college in a different city so whenever he comes here, I make sure to meet him separately. When I met Marley, we went to a café just to have food and talk really, he asked me why does no one know the real reason for my and Missybusy's breakup. I just told him that it’s complicated. Then Marley told me that he heard from Bob and Dave that they told him that Missybusy started to like someone else that is why you both broke up. It was unprecedented to me. I felt weird, I felt a weird sting. I went back home and I messaged her to confront about this, I was taken away by my impulses. She assured me that wasn’t it and then we started talking like normal people do, talked about each other’s friends’, each other’s college life and so on. Then she asked if it’s possible to meet because it had been so long! And I was honestly scared to meet her but I just agreed anyway. 30th of may we met at a bowling and pool café. We sat there and talked about each other’s life. And honestly it seemed God did listen to my wish for keeping her happy because she had made good friends at college and obviously, she did have some problems but overall, she did seem happy and I was happy for that. The moment I saw her again after such a long time I realized nothing changed, she was just as pretty, her eyes were glowing just as usual and her fashion game was on the top. We made several eye contacts throughout and I could see a little pain in her eyes. It was the pain of guilt or pain of just losing, I won’t know for sure. When we were talking about our lives and what all had happened in these 7 and a half months, I felt so peaceful inside. But as soon as I mentioned what all I had to go through after out breakup she kept saying sorry and it felt as if I was just there to make her feel sorry. So, I refrained from talking about that. But then what did I have to talk about? Most of these months I had spent in misery and apart from that I told her about the little breakthroughs that I made in the market and I told her how I made some good friends at college. But that was it really. So, she did most of the talking. I was just listening. I didn’t want to talk about what I had to go through all these months because I felt I’ll just pressure her with more guilt. I didn’t come here to meet her and just listen to her saying sorry. I only cared about her smile.

My failure of expressing came back to me, I couldn’t tell her that I still loved her, I couldn’t tell her I still miss her. I just listened to her and laughed with her. She asked me once more before we left the park where we were walking at the moment, can we still we be friends? I was hesitant. But I told her we couldn’t. I told her we won’t be able to give time to this friendship and besides I have my competitive exams in December so I need to focus on that. But that’s just a part of it, I can never view her as my friend but always as the person I loved.
When we exited the park, we were standing near her car (oh she drives great by the way!). I told her to go while I wait for my uber. I pushed her away (not physically), I kept telling her to go away. That was it, no hugs just goodbyes. I wanted to hug her but I didn’t want the part of me that still had hope to grow. As she drove away, I realized in the end, I did end up hurting her by telling her to just go away. I came back home, acted normal as usual. Lied to my mom and sister again and told them the 'meeting was fine but it was boring'. The next day when I was home alone. I burst out crying. I never cried this much before. Only I know what I have lost. I didn’t want the part of me that had hope to grow but I also didn’t want it to just die. I cried for hours until eventually I washed my face and waited for my mom and sister to return. Missybusy was gone. I know what I’ve lost. And I blame myself for it. I can physically feel the pain in my heart at this point. It hurts so much. I wish I never met her after she told me a relationship isn’t possible. I wish I was never in love. I wish I never love again. I wish to be never this vulnerable again. I had gone through so much pain in those months and tried to act normal in front of everyone. I can’t tell how many thoughts crossed my mind daily. I just kept it bottled up within me. In the end I think God doesn’t like my heart. When I was in my mother’s womb it was found that I had a very faint heartbeat. As soon as I was born, I was taken into the ICU for surgery. Five years later it was found I have a low BPM. And so many years later my heart was broken into pieces. God doesn’t like my heart.