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H.G. WELLS’S, THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME (1933) VS. 1984 AND BRAVE NEW WORLD

2024.06.01 13:56 genericusername1904 H.G. WELLS’S, THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME (1933) VS. 1984 AND BRAVE NEW WORLD

ID, IX. MAIORES. V, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.

I discovered this book by complete chance last year – a very old hardback copy was given to me as gift (in a situation which was certainly weighted with the most unlikely of synchronicities), “huh,” I thought, “it’s a first edition of H.G. Wells,” the book itself almost cannot be opened because it is so old and falling apart so I procured a text and audio file of the thing relatively easily and began to read. In hindsight not only for myself but I fancy for the generations of the last fifty years - in all totality, it is deeply strange that this book has not been more widely recognized or taught in schools, as like 1984 and Brave New World, as being the third contender (although technically the second, published one year after Huxley – seemingly written at the same time interestingly enough) in “visions of dystopia” – except that the book is not so much a vision of dystopia tomorrow but a vision of dystopia ‘today’ or rather ‘life as we know it’ of the 19th, 20th and 21st Centuries (endless war, endless pandemics, economic and logistic chaos), narrated from the comfortable and reassuring position of a society far far in the future who have long since revised their culture and solved all of the causes of the problems and become a society of genius polymaths “with (every Man and Woman) the intellectual equal of the polymaths of the ancient world.”
Now, I do not mean here to seem to ‘sweet-talk’ the reader into rushing out and buying this book or to hold it up in the manner of those other books as if it were some ideological blueprint but instead to assay the thing in the natural context which seems to me to be universally unrealized and which presents itself to us as a thing which is plainly self-evident, that is: that in the depressing and miserable dichotomy of 1984 and Brave New World; two extremely atomizing and miserable narratives, that there is also – far more empowering – The Shape Of Things To Come wherein the miserable protagony and antagony of both 1984 and Brave New World might read as merely a footnote somewhere in the middle of the book as an example of the witless measures mankinds old master undertook to preserve their power in an untenable circumstance. In other words, we know all about 1984 as children; we have this drummed into our heads and we glean our cultural comprehension that dictators cannot be cliques of business people but only lone individuals, usually in military uniform, and then we graduate from that to Brave New World to gain a more sophisticated comprehension of the feckless consumerism and ‘passive egoism’ by which our society actually operates, but then we do not – as I argue we ought – continue along in our education with this third book which actually addresses the matters at hand at a more adult level.
For instance, here, from ‘The Breakdown Of Finance And Social Morale After Versailles’ (Book One, Chapter Twelve) addresses in a single paragraph the cause of our continual economic chaos (of which all crime and poverty and war originates from) and highlights the problem from which this chaos cannot be resolved yet could easily be resolved, “adjustment was left to blind and ill-estimated forces,” “manifestly, a dramatic revision of the liberties of enterprise was necessary, but the enterprising people who controlled politics (would be) the very last people to undertake such a revision,”

…the expansion of productive energy was being accompanied by a positive contraction of the distributive arrangements which determined consumption. The more efficient the output, the fewer were the wages-earners. The more stuff there was, the fewer consumers there were. The fewer the consumers, the smaller the trading profits, and the less the gross spending power of the shareholders and individual entrepreneurs. So buying dwindled at both ends of the process and the common investor suffered with the wages- earner. This was the "Paradox of Overproduction" which so troubled the writers and journalists of the third decade of the twentieth century.

It is easy for the young student to-day to ask "Why did they not adjust?" But let him ask himself who there was to adjust. Our modern superstructure of applied economic science, the David Lubin Bureau and the General Directors' Board, with its vast recording organization, its hundreds of thousands of stations and observers, directing, adjusting, apportioning and distributing, had not even begun to exist. Adjustment was left to blind and ill-estimated forces. It was the general interest of mankind to be prosperous, but it was nobody's particular interest to keep affairs in a frame of prosperity. Manifestly a dramatic revision of the liberties of enterprise was necessary, but the enterprising people who controlled politics, so far as political life was controlled, were the very last people to undertake such a revision.

There is a clever metaphor I fancy that Wells worked in to this for the ‘actual’ defacto controlling class of things, that is: not really the politicians (sorry to disappoint the Orwell and conspiracy fans) but instead the ‘Dictatorship of the Air’ which might easily read as the ‘Dictatorship of the Airwaves’ – in colloquial language, that being radio and then television. Certainly we might imagine Rupert Murdoch or Ted Turner or Sumner Redstone (of yesterday) entering into honourable retirement as like the ‘dictators of the air’ of the very last days before the establishment of a one world state – in any case that is how things would work out, as the power of, say, Ted Turner to eradicate a political party in the United States – at any time he wishes – by simply green-lighting coverage of their bad actions relentlessly for months until revolution occurs is a real power of which no other institution possesses nor possesses any means of defence against, i.e. the ‘real power’ in our world to end a war or begin or war or end this or begin that is that power held by the organized press. This metaphor is somewhat of a more mature view, I think, than Wells earlier conception of the press in The Sleeper Awakes (1899) where the press of a dystopian future is visualized as a “babble machine” spreading circular nonsense to preoccupy the citizenry (although this is arguably a true representation of the mental processes of the Twitter and Facebook user, or of the general baby-speak and extremely infantile form of the news reports on the front page of the BBC News website) which is more or less what the press depicted as being in Brave New World also.
However the construction of sudden new realities (or sudden ‘actualities’) presented by the equation of interdependent technological innovations (i.e. the radio and the television in this instance) is mentioned early on in The Shape Of Things To Come in ‘How The Idea And Hope Of The Modern World State First Appeared’ (Book One, Chapter Two),

The fruitlessness of all these premature inventions is very easily explained. First in the case of the Transatlantic passage; either the earlier navigators who got to America never got back, or, if they did get back, they were unable to find the necessary support and means to go again before they died, or they had had enough of hardship, or they perished in a second attempt. Their stories were distorted into fantastic legends and substantially disbelieved. It was, indeed, a quite futile adventure to get to America until the keeled sailing ship, the science of navigation, and the mariner's compass had been added to human resources. (Then), in the matter of printing, it was only when the Chinese had developed the systematic manufacture of abundant cheap paper sheets in standard sizes that the printed book—and its consequent release of knowledge—became practically possible. Finally the delay in the attainment of flying was inevitable because before men could progress beyond precarious gliding it was necessary for metallurgy to reach a point at which the internal combustion engine could be made. Until then they could build nothing strong enough and light enough to battle with the eddies of the air.

In an exactly parallel manner, the conception of one single human community organized for collective service to the common weal had to wait until the rapid evolution of the means of communication could arrest and promise to defeat the disintegrative influence of geographical separation. That rapid evolution came at last in the nineteenth century, and it has been described already in a preceding chapter of this world history. Steam power, oil power, electric power, the railway, the steamship, the aeroplane, transmission by wire and aerial transmission followed each other very rapidly. They knit together the human species as it had never been knit before. Insensibly, in less than a century, the utterly impracticable became not merely a possible adjustment but an urgently necessary adjustment if civilization was to continue.

In other words, then, a global state (or, rather, such power in general held by the press as I see the analogy extending to them as being the ‘Dictatorship of the Airwaves’) was impossible to imagine and completely laughable before the technologies had stacked together to reveal as like in a simple piece of arithmetic which produced a single outcome of the equation; that no sooner had the technologies existed then the thing had become an actual reality – in that 1) unassailable political power had been unthinkingly dropped into the lap of the owners of the press, but that more importantly as consequence that therefore 2) mankind was subject to that power, that is: the situation existed the moment the technologies did – and this whether any living person had even realized it, as I think quite naturally all the time Men and Women invent things that they really have no notion of the fullest or most optimal uses of (“nothing is needed by fools, for: they do not understand how to use anything but are in want of everything,” Chrysippus), e.g. in no metaphor the television was quite literally invented as a ‘ghost box’ to commune with ghosts imagined to reveal themselves by manipulating the black and white of the static until someone else had the idea that there was at least one other use for that contraption.
It is quite strange, also, that in contemporary times we have for ages been heavily propagandized ‘against’ the idea of a “one world state” as if, say, all the crimes and fecklessness that have gone on in our lifetimes are somehow secretly building towards the creation of such a thing – not a thing you would naturally conclude from an observation of those events nor a thing advocated for by anybody (insofar as I have ever heard) but it is a thing which would be the first logical response to ‘preventing’ such crimes from ever occurring again – such as like the already widely practiced concept of a Senate-Style Federation of Sovereign States rather than a hundred or so mutually antagonistic polities capable of bombing themselves or screwing up their economies and creating waves of refugees or mass starvation or pandemics, and so on. For instance, All Egypt is dependent on the flow of the Nile which originates in what is today another country, that other country recently decimated the flow of the Nile by gumming up the Nile with a Hydroelectric Dam; such an outcome would not occur if the total mass of the land itself was governed as the single interconnected economic and environmental system that it is in physical reality of which, when divided along arbitrary borderlines, there is no means to govern the entirety of the region in an amicable and prosperous manner for all as a whole and no recourse to the otherwise intolerable situation but War which is unlikely to occur – as most Nations are comprised of civilized peoples who rightly loath the concept of War – but it is the single and unavoidable outcome to resolve such a situation until that situation has dragged on for decades, causing immense suffering, until it reaches that point of desperation – the matter of Palestine and Israel, fresh to my mind in these days, raises itself also.
Of the matter of War itself, in ‘The Direct Action Of The Armament Industries In Maintaining War Stresses’ (Book One, Chapter Eleven), Wells relays in 1933 what United States President Eisenhower would later remark in 1961 in his farewell address of the dangers of the Military Industrial Complex; albeit far more analytically on Wells part, that: it is not so much the ‘desire to harm’ on the part of the armament industries which sees them engage in unnecessary build-up of weapons stockpiles but that it is simply their business to produce, to stockpile, produce more deadly variants and stockpile the more deadly variants and sell off their old stockpiles to whomsoever rings their doorbell; for instance the on-going War in Ukraine is no different in this regard to the Viet Cong and NATO Warfare in Vietnam in that massive quantiles of cheap munitions were necessary for the war to be fought in the first place and massive quantities of munitions happened to exist as a by-product of the Armaments Industries to be dumped onto the warring parties in order to facilitate their macabre impulses at the expense of the citizenry; both at their cost in terms of the debt taken on to procure the weaponry on the part of their governments and in terms of their lives when the weaponry was unused to the outcome of massive loss of life of a single peoples within a bordered space – a thing of no value to themselves. Simply put, albeit in a very simplistic reduction to the bare basics: the War would not reached such catastrophic inhuman proportions without massive quantities of cheap Armaments that otherwise sat taking up warehouse space for more valuable Armaments on the part of the producer and seller.

In a perpetual progress in the size and range of great guns, in a vast expansion of battleships that were continually scrapped in favour of larger or more elaborate models, (Armament Firms) found a most important and inexhaustible field of profit. The governments of the world were taken unawares, and in a little while the industry, by sound and accepted methods of salesmanship, was able to impose its novelties upon these ancient institutions with their tradition of implacable mutual antagonism. It was realized very soon that any decay of patriotism and loyalty would be inimical to this great system of profits, and the selling branch of the industry either bought directly or contrived to control most of the great newspapers of the time, and exercised a watchful vigilance on the teaching of belligerence in schools. Following the established rules and usages for a marketing industrialism, and with little thought of any consequences but profits, the directors of these huge concerns built up the new warfare that found its first exposition in the Great War of 1914-18, and gave its last desperate and frightful convulsions in the Polish wars of 1940 and the subsequent decades.

Even at its outset in 1914-18 this new warfare was extraordinarily uncongenial to humanity. It did not even satisfy man's normal combative instincts. What an angry man wants to do is to beat and bash another living being, not to be shot at from ten miles distance or poisoned in a hole. Instead of drinking delight of battle with their peers, men tasted all the indiscriminating terror of an earthquake. The war literature stored at Atacama, to which we have already referred, is full of futile protest against the horror, the unsportsmanlike quality, the casual filthiness and indecency, the mechanical disregard of human dignity of the new tactics. But such protest itself was necessarily futile, because it did not go on to a clear indictment of the forces that were making, sustaining and distorting war. The child howled and wept and they did not even attempt to see what it was had tormented it.

To us nowadays it seems insane that profit-making individuals and companies should have been allowed to manufacture weapons and sell the apparatus of murder to all comers. But to the man of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries it seemed the most natural thing in the world. It had grown up in an entirely logical and necessary way, without any restraint upon the normal marketing methods of peace-time commerce, from the continually more extensive application of new industrial products to warfare. Even after the World War catastrophe, after that complete demonstration of the futility of war, men still allowed themselves to be herded like sheep into the barracks, to be trained to consume, and be consumed, by new lines of slaughter goods produced and marketed by the still active armament traders. And the accumulation of a still greater and still more dangerous mass of war material continued.

The book is, if the reader has likely already gathered from the excerpts, not written in the style of a protagonal narrative; i.e. not as a story, i.e. no hero and no villain, but as a sort of a Historia Augusta – that is really the most fitting comparison I think of when trying to describe this to a new reader (or perhaps J.J. Scarisbrick’s Henry VIII), that is to say it is written ‘as’ a History in the classical style we are familiar with from the better of the ancient writers, as like Appian or Cassius Dio, but unlike Suetonius or Tacitus it is absent of the sloppy hinging of all bad things on the highly personalized propaganda ad hominem (i.e. blame the fall of empire on one guy) that goes in those narrative works as we are typically familiar with them.
It is, of course, a work a fiction; although Wells did predict World War Two beginning in late 1939-1940 (although he had Poland putting up much better and longer of a fight against the Germans) and various other innovations, beginning from his own day with a true account of events prior to his own day – giving us a valuable account of affairs and actors prior to 1933 which would otherwise not come easily to any of us to discover. But the book, ultimately, is vehicle for the transmission and discussion of these societal (i.e. social, economic, industrial, logistic) matters presented to the audience of the day fresh, in their own minds, from the abject horror recently witnessed in World War One – and the economic catastrophes of which Roosevelts reforms had not yet come into tangible reality (i.e. relief for the poor, public works projects such as the motorways across America) as is discussed in that other seemingly little known H.G. Wells literary offering in his face-to-face interview with Josef Stalin the following year in 1934 (something which I think is of far more historical value than say, Nixon and Frost or Prince Andrew and Emily Maitlis), so as to ‘avert’ another crisis and pluck from the ether a seemingly alternate trajectory of where Mankind might at last get its act together. This ‘novel’ (thought it seems strange to call it that) ought be read, I would advise, in conjunction with ‘The Sleeper Awakes’ (1899) and also the (actually very depressing – I would not advise it) short-story prequel ‘A Story Of The Days To Come’ (1897) – set in that same universe – which, perhaps it is because I am English, seems to me to be a black horror show of the reality that we actually find ourselves living in this far into an actually dystopic future – or perhaps yet with the ‘strange windmills’ powering the mega cities that this a future yet to come (no pun intended); the broken speech, the babble machines, the miserable condition of the Working Class and their consumption of pre-packaged soft bread, the desire to flee the urban sprawl into the dilapidated countryside and make a little life in a run-down house with tacky wallpaper peeling away … ah, forgive me, my point is that ‘our condition’; i.e. those of us literate in English, is quite analogous to the condition of the central characters in those two stories; a culture dulled intellectually to the point that they can barely speak or think, being appraised and assayed by ourselves; those of us simply literate, as to render our commentary stuck as to seem as mutually alien as like Caesar in Gaul. However, it is in the context of the frame given to us in ‘The Shape Of Things To Come’ that we might gain a degree of sanity about this self-same situation; to study and lean into that dispassionate quality as to discern the nature of things as they are and recognize how important this quality is in relation to Well’s ultimate outcome for the best possible position of Humankind far far future, that is: that of Humankind’s vital intellectual capacity, and that the most striking message of STC, beyond all we have mentioned in this little overview, is that intellectual capacity in and of itself.
For example, when we consider the ‘actuality’ of the power of Turner or perhaps Zuckerberg in his heyday, for instance, we consider a power fallen into a Mans lap by an accidental stacking of disparate technologies created not by himself but of which possess a power utterly dependent in that same equation upon on a population being ‘witless’ in the first place and so led slavishly by the “babble machines”. However you cut it, reader, the great uplifting of Humankind to a standard of autonomy and intellectual prowess – not held by an elite but possessed by All People – is a thing both intrinsically self-sufficient within our grasp for our own selves and is certainly the prerequisite for political matters in that intellectual capacity of the voting public determines entirely whether a public is tricked or foolish and gets themselves into trouble by undertaking some obvious error or whether they are immune to such trickery and foolishness in the first place and that their energies and time are spent on more valuable pursuits. It seems to me that our contemporary society has done away with the notion of good character through intellect and that we live with the outcome of this; being shepherded by emotional manipulation and brute force because our society at large is treated as if we lacked the verbal and intellectual toolsets to understand anything else – moreover possessing no means to discern whether or not what is forced onto us is right or wrong; truth or lies, and so on. Such a society as this, again it seems plain to me, is ‘any’ dystopia because it is the baseline composition for ‘all’ dystopia; as like the foolish dogma of an out-dated ideology for example rests itself upon a large enough contingent of the public being either treated as if they were or in fact are “too foolish” to discuss or think a thing through, so a dogma is poured over them like concrete creating, in turn, intolerable circumstances as the dogma, tomorrow, becomes out-dated and suddenly instructs them to do foolish things, as like in the “Banality Of Evil” (read: Hannah Arendt) as the character in all serious perpetrators of inhumanity who insist, with a confused expression on their faces, that they were just doing their job – and this ‘quality’, of extreme ignorance, is the composition of the culture where such ‘evil actions’ occur.
I mean here that in STC we have on one hand a very in-depth account, very serious reading, to graduate the reader out of the depressive, atomizing, disempowering, conspiratorial milieu and mire of ‘life’ presented to us in 1984 and Brave New World, but that we have at the same time the very resonant harmonics that one does not need to “wait around for a distant future utopia” to “solve all the problems” but that the tools to do so are well within our grasp at any time we so choose and of which such an undertaking constitutes the foundation stones and tapestries of that future utopia which, I think, could be said to “meet us half-way” in many of these matters, as like we reach forward and they reach back and then those in the past reach forward and we in the resent reach back; that is anyway what it is to learn from the past and anyway the answer to “why the Grandfather sews the seeds for trees from whose fruits he will never eat.”
Valete.

ID, IX. MAIORES. V, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.

FULL TEXT ON GUTENBERG OF H.G. WELLS ‘THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME’ (1933)
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2024.06.01 13:36 thecoldbank is this the true picture of life or am I wrong somewhere?

so there is no afterlife, what we have is only this life.
those of us who don't like this life they escape (su1s1d3). Those of us who somewhat like this life we try to stay alive. So we try to survive as long as we can.
everyone has 24 hours in a day (which we created for our own convinence),

Half of it goes into maintaining our biology that means sleeping, eating, washroom or else our body won't function properly then it will cause us pain and we might even die.
Then other half goes into working because without money you can't afford to eat, can't afford to sleep at a safe space which is essential as we saw in point number 1.
Most of the hours from our day goes by like this, then eventually whatever time we are left with, some of us indulge in socializing with other humans, some of us have sex with other humans, some of us numb themselves with videogames, drugs, socialmedia etc etc dopamine urgic activities. Basically we just try to pass the time with whatever we can so that our brain don't go nuts on us.
in this life some try to find meaning in materialistic things, some try to find meaning in their kids, some try to find meaning by helping others etc.
Then there are some smart people who very quickly realize that this life & everything in it is very temporary & they just can't get their head around it so they try to find meaning in a believe system that gives them hope that there is another life because believing that you will be gone forever & no judgement day after you die is very hard to swallow for our rational brain.

Keep on doing this shit everyday until death takes you out & you go back to the same void that you came from.
What's your thoughts on this? Please make drop your opinion down below. Thanks

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2024.06.01 13:24 kyzes [spoiler discussion] Sage theory?

What if Sage, Flugel, is the antagonist all along?
We have theory about Flugel = Subaru, Flugel helping Subaru. What if Flugel simply just love Satella but she went crazy for Subaru hence he had to “seal” her away and been trying to bring her back secretly?
We have Flugel with Satella, Echidna, Reid Astrea, Farsale Lugunica, and Alec Hoshin travel together to stop the world disaster (ish). We know Satella absorbs Envy’s authority to end the disaster. We know couple years later she goes on rampage seeking for love and Flugel seals her away because she can’t be kill.
I think in order to kill Envy authority’s holder, that must be the person they love. E.g. Emilia able to kill Subaru in Pride. Satella states that only Subaru can kill her and she loves him a lot.
Flugel in love with Satella, but Satella doesn’t love him hence he couldn’t fulfil her desire which causes Great Calamity. Flugel was not the person she loves hence could not kill her and same to Reid and Divine Dragon. So he sealed her.
Sage was the person known for all-knowing but couldn’t figured out how to kill Satella was strange even with Echidna witch of Greed with her Authority. This just concluded that they knew how to kill her but they were unable to because Subaru was not there. Now, Subaru existence had been around to world long enough that everyone in the gang knew about him. E.g. Echidna knew he will arrive through Tome of Wisdom, Flugel have the Tower named after him and the trial was for him as well, and last but not least the yandere tell him that she loves him every single time they’re together.
It is easy to understand that they were all aware that Satella loved Subaru.
Back to Flugel, he was broken after sealing his lover and also learnt that she did not love him back. This explains his self-destruction action like according to Shaula, he hit his head in the toilet a lot and also lost his memories a lot. He constantly deleted his memories perhaps to forget about everything and Satella’s situation but somehow it kept coming back perhaps because she was never truly sealed therefore memories kept coming back and he had erased his memories to the point he no longer stable. Instead of continuing erased his memories, he decided to do something different. Leave the Pleiades Watchtower. With his knowledge, he stopped every obstacles that stop his way to either bring Satella back to his side or kill Subaru because he entered anger stage of breakup. He just wanted to hurt Envy by destroying the very thing she loved and cared about, Subaru.
First, he kill Echidna by making Volcanica destroyed her body and sealed her away because of her Authority and she is the only Witch left that is alive. Wait for Emilia to be born, order Pandora to make her open the seal. Which Pandora sorta screwed up by sent Regulus back to his mansion. Kill OniGod reincarnation, Ram but also failed. The plans failed. Due to Echidna, she knew it all with her authority hence had Beatrice waiting for Subaru, Puck to be with Emilia, Roswaal to save Ram and to bring Emilia ‘back to humanity.’
So eventhough he had her killed, Echidna still able to stop most of his action.
The “Sage” position is opened because he was no longer “wise and all-knowing” since love and hatred blinded his judgment. He was corrupted. We will see that Flugel controlling Pandora, Pandora controlling Sin Archbishop, Sin Archbishop controlling the Witch Cult.
My “Naruto Puppet antagonist” ended here. Thanks for reading. Please leaving a feedback and positive reviews for this article.

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2024.06.01 13:09 Swimming-Cricket-297 8 weeks

It’s been 8 weeks since I was left by him for the 2nd time. Blindsided, totally out of the blue both times. No arguments, no struggles in the relationship, no signs. Nothing- as far as I was aware we were completely and blissfully in love and happy together.
He left me with the same bullshit surface level excuses as he did the first time. We have been together for years.
“I need to be alone” “You deserve better” “I can’t give you what you deserve” “I need to heal”
Blablablablabla, the list goes on. The first time he came back (a year and a week later) once I had started to move on - he promised he was ready, he was choosing me, choosing us, every day. He contacted each of my family members to apologise for his actions, to apologise for the pain he caused me and all of us. That he would communicate with me.
Though this 2nd break up isn’t as hard as the first in some ways. As the first time I lost my home (because we lived together), I lost my car (because going to live alone I couldn’t keep a big fancy car) I still feel a whole massive fucking amount of pain. Unfortunately, we had to have a termination of a pregnancy at the start of the year, due to some medication that he is currently taking that causes birth defects and we chose not to take that risk on the baby or on me. He left only a few weeks after I had stopped bleeding. Baring in mind, the whole time I was going through this and obviously was emotional he was telling me that WE will have our chance again, WE now know WE work, it will be in OUR future just this wasn’t the time for US.
Looking back, he was clearly triggered, it scared him. He ran. The fear of growing up, having a little life to look after.
I am 30 next month. This is far from what I would expect my life to be like. I have a good job, a beautiful home, a car, the full works- but this second break up with someone I love completely with every part of myself and the termination has completely knocked the wind out of me this year.
When we got back together, it was incredible. We were better versions of us, which shocked me because we were amazing the first time. It was wonderful. He was (and despite this) still is an amazing man. He unfortunately suffers from childhood trauma like myself- but when he gets triggered he runs, legs it, drops me and literally detaches himself from me to prevent him from looking inside and seeing what the root cause is. I know exactly what it is, he has told me numerous times that it scares the shit out of him how much I know him and sometimes I know him better than himself.
The whole year (and a week) we were split up the first time I had this deep deep knowing he was coming back. And he did, despite everyone around me basically calling me mad because I was so sure of it. This time, I feel exactly the same. I know he is coming back. When, I don’t know. But he will.
Whether or not you believe in attachment theory or not, I know he is an avoidant. DA to be exact. I won’t go in to every single thing to why and his actions, but he is. I am in therapy, and I spoke to my therapist about it (she also specialises in attachment issues) and she had told me I hit the nail on the head with what I think. I refuse to bash him or any one who has this attachment style - but I just wish he could see why he does the things he does, why he gets triggered, look inside himself and the answers are there.
This has been long, I could keep going but I will stop. To be fair I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I suppose for some release. To tell some strangers on the internet what I’ve been going through. It’s shit. I hate it. I’m just in a whole lot of pain, and I’m terrified of the time that is being lost between us. That my body is ticking. And so on.
If you managed to get this far, thanks for listening to me yap and getting some of it out.

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2024.06.01 13:07 ZacInStl Psalm 140, Saturday, June 1, 2024

Psalms 140 (KJV)
To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.
Psalms 140:1 Deliver me, O LORD, from the evil man: preserve me from the violent man; 2 Which imagine mischiefs in their heart; continually are they gathered together for war. 3 They have sharpened their tongues like a serpent; adders’ poison is under their lips. Selah. 4 Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from the violent man; who have purposed to overthrow my goings. 5 The proud have hid a snare for me, and cords; they have spread a net by the wayside; they have set gins for me. Selah. 6 I said unto the LORD, Thou art my God: hear the voice of my supplications, O LORD. 7 O GOD the Lord, the strength of my salvation, thou hast covered my head in the day of battle.
Psalms 140:8 Grant not, O LORD, the desires of the wicked: further not his wicked device; lest they exalt themselves. Selah. 9 As for the head of those that compass me about, let the mischief of their own lips cover them. 10 Let burning coals fall upon them: let them be cast into the fire; into deep pits, that they rise not up again. 11 Let not an evil speaker be established in the earth: evil shall hunt the violent man to overthrow him. 12 I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and the right of the poor. 13 Surely the righteous shall give thanks unto thy name: the upright shall dwell in thy presence.
Today we come across another Imprecatory Psalm, that is, a psalm where the writer is requesting a specific judgment by inspiration of the Holy Ghost. Jesus does teach us to love our enemies, and God never changes, but these judgments are prayed for because the offender is working to disrupt God’s plan for his people and the redemption of mankind. One thing I have noticed through studying these imprecatory psalms is that the request is specific; each individual psalm is a desire for judgment for a specific offense. And we need to remember that the royal line of the kings of Judah was the direct lineage and forefathers of our Lord Jesus Christ. A dethronement disrupting this line in favor of another family would’ve meant God breaking his promises to David, Solomon, and possibly even to Jacob, as he prophesied on his death dad in Genesis 49. So I have come to the conclusion that these psalms do not necessarily contradict the command we have to love our enemies, as individuals, and more than defending ourselves or our children from violence, or a soldier fighting in a war for his nation would be a contradiction. With this in mind, let!s dig in.
The context of this psalm is not specific enough to decipher if David is running from Saul, Ishbosheth (after the death of Saul and Johnathon), Absalom, or someone else.
Verses 1-7 David’s Petition for Protection

He is suffering violence (v1)
They have to make up offenses to charge him in their minds (v2)
They are relentless in their opposition (v2)
They are subversive (v3)
This is a spiritual battle against the throne of Israel, satanic in origin (v3-4)
They fight through tricks, traps, and unconventional means (V5)
David goes before God, recognizing the higher throne above his own (V6-7)

Verses 8-13 David’s Prayer against his Persecutors

Let their plans fail (v8)
Let their own words prosecute them (v9)
Let them be judged with death (v10)
Let justice prevail over the subversive (v11)
Let the just have full confidence in God (v12-13)

Thoughts and questions

I wonder if this Psalm inspired Solomon to write Proverbs 1:17 “Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird.“ Do any other verses from Proverbs come to mind?
David recognizes these attacks for what they are. How do we identify when someone is attacking us under satanic influence? And how do we differentiate that from someone just being selfish or having a bad day?
What is your take on the Imprecatory Psalms? Do you believe it is ever appropriate for a New Testament believer to pray like this?

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2024.06.01 13:00 MTVSpoiledMod Daily Discussion Thread ☀️

Welcome to MTVChallenge's Daily Discussion Thread. ☀️
Comments can be about The Challenge...or not! You've entered the MTVChallenge pub where anything goes. The only rule for these threads is **NO unaired spoilers**!!
Spoilers from the set of All Stars 4 can be seen 💣right here🌋. Spoilers from all seasons can be discussed on the TMI Tea-sday threads and Spoiled episode threads, there are no holds barred in 💣🌋 comment sections.

Do you have a favorite mission but can't remember the episode number?
What is the name of that song from Rivals 2 you can't get out of your head?
How cool was it when TJ rode his BMX alongside the finalists on Cutthroat?!
Who are the best follows on social media?

Any shows or movies you are dying to talk about?
Can you believe what happened to [insert public figure]?!
What new music are you listening to?
Which sports teams are you rooting for?

This is your space for free chat. It can be whatever you want it to be.

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2024.06.01 12:58 Thomastakesfive Outboard shady engineering. Looking for advice with my idea.

Suzuki dt55, 1997. Outboard motor.
Long story short:
Got this motor that was full of sand. While clearing it out I wanted to check the thermostat housing to see if it was clogged up as well. That was a mistake. It seemed like it had never been opened before. Broke two of three bolts while doing it.
Bolts are stainless steel and not very easy to drill. They are only 5mm and are like an inch down the hole. I don’t dare to take the top of, because I guess more bolts are going to snap, and drilling down the whole as is seems like way to hard.
The head consists of two parts. Head and head cover, which has the water channels in it. They are bolted with 24 bolts. 6 of them only goes into the head, the rest goes through the head and into the block. I’ve marked the bolts that only goes in to the head, and the red ones are broken.
My idea to fix this without taking the risk to brake more bolts is to put a heli-coil in the cover itself and bolt the thermostat housing to that. The left one of the broken bolts is only for the thermostat housing, since the other cylinder is missing that bolt, but the right one goes into the head for a reason. So I will be missing pressure there. I figure if it will leak, it will leak between two water channels, or out to the top spark plug, but I don’t think it will happen.
I know this is shady engineering but I kind of think it is the best idea instead of breaking more bolts. I will attempt this if not everyone is saying this is a very bad idea. Any advice? Thank you
https://preview.redd.it/hu9486gvyx3d1.jpg?width=1304&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a1db4db9c547eb9c28b7c7631da00ee664f1aae

submitted by Thomastakesfive to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]

2024.06.01 12:54 QueasyStorage637 Looking for novel

Hi I just came across a novel, chosen by the moon novel by izabella W. Its on pay by chapter websites, I've opened and read a few chapters but I can't seem to find any free version or chapter version anywhere. Please help. If anyone has read it I'm willing to take spoilers. Here's the advert I found below of it on Facebook.
Lycanthrope species is a disgusting race. And I, Delan Riley, am nothing more than a human scum in their eyes never expected those species would turn my world upside down. Since when the lycans managed to penetrate our town, like in the early 1900's we have a hierarchy, upper class = the lycans, middle class = mated humans, and lower class = the normal humans, who were basically considered scum. I endured their torment day after day, vowing to run away from them one day, until that day came and everything changed.
Dylan POV "Humans," I scowled at the principal's words from tannoy. "The Alpha twins will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow, as such, festivities are in order." Oh great, the Alphas twin children. Adrian and Arya are the worst lycans alive. I swear just because they are the alphas kids they literally get away with everything. If their birthday is tomorrow, then the wolves are going to be worse than ever. "All students will be present to greet them, two lines will be made, with humans on the left and the lycanthrope on the right. Any mated human will be at the front of the line for their year, you will all also be in order of your school year. That is all." Chat broke out the minute the tannoy was finished. "We haven't had a school gathering since the alpha king visited three years ago, before his sons coronation." Nick was right, the last time we all gathered like that was for the king and queens visit, when he decided to let the world know that he was to renounce his title to his only child, son Josh. "That sick bestard, he wants to make sure everyone is there so those idiot twins can find their mates." Yes I was mad, my fists connected with the table in front of me once more as I thought about how disgusting the situation was. You see the twins will be turning 17, so it's very possible someone in our school could be their mate, finding a mate is sacred to a wolf, the minute they say that one word your fate is sealed. They will turn your mind, morph you into being a lover of their kind, and then you'll give in.

That won't happen to me, I'm growing old to see the world as it once was, and I'm going to choose who I'll be with. No one will take that dream away from me.

Once dinner was finished, I just wanted to sleep. I'd had a very long tiring day, I quickly sat down on a small stool my mother kept in the storage closet and removed my shirt while my brother Freddy sat at the table to do his simple homework. It wasn't long before my mother came in with a large bowl of warm salt water and some cotton, this was going to sting I just knew it. She was here to help me with the wounds caused by wolves yesterday. She slowly began to unwrap the bandage from around my torso and slowed down drastically when it came to the final layer, I felt it peel off every wound and my fists clenched in pain. "Jesus!" I heard my mom exclaim once the dressing was completely removed. The air on my back was nice though and I sighed as my arm covered my once again exposed brests. "This is more than 15!" I began to hear sniffles coming from her and sighed turning round to look at her face, only to notice tears streaming down it. "Mom I'm fine, it's alright." She shook her head. "It's not alright, I'm your mother I shouldn't let these things happen. I'm so sorry. Your father would have..." here she goes again. Every single time something happened she'd always bring up dad, it really annoyed me because no matter how much we all wish he was here, he just isn't. My father was kiled by THEIR kind, almost 5 years ago when they actually managed to take over. When the lycans managed to penetrate our town my father rose up with some people from the neighborhood, to defend our livelihood, it was futile to say the least. We lost many people and I watched as my dad was ripped apart by two fully shifted wolves, I ended up shoting him to stop his suffering before they dragged me to the courtyard, i was the person to receive the first lashing of the town when I was 12! The wolves have been pretty strict with me since that day. "Stop being stvpid!" Was I harsh? Definitely! Did she need to hear it again, absolutely. "Dad is dead, we don't know what he'd do because he never knew this life. He never knew this world." I know what he'd have done, most likely attacked the guy who held the whip and got himself kiled in the process. "The best thing you can do for me, is stop crying and help me, next time don't insist on helping if you can't handle it." She began to wash my open wounds with the warm salt water causing loud winces to leave me, I knew it was necessary to prevent infection, but my god it hurt like a betch. "Some of these are really deep Dylan!" She sniffed again and my eyes rolled in my head. "I told you, I'm fine, just wrap me back up so I can get to bed." My mom was obviously more impacted by my injuries than I was, I suppose that always the case though. When it's happening to you, you've just got to get through it but when it's happening to someone you love, you just want to take their pain away. She quickly placed a fresh bandage around my waist and chest and wrapped it tightly for compression. The bowl of water that was used was now red in color, I guess from the blood my back was dripping with. "Can you keep your head down please? At least just this week. You can't take any more lashings." I simply nodded before standing up away from the stool, I walked over to Freddie and ruffled his hair in affection. "Good night squirt." He giggled and fixed his hair slightly. "Night Dilly." I smiled walking upstairs to my little bedroom, as soon as I was inside i shut the door and flopped down on to my bed on my stomach and I took a minute to cry to myself at the pain in my back, what my mom did was important but it hurt, not that I'd ever tell her. My hand covered my mouth quickly to muffle any noise I might be making. I couldn't tell anyone, I had to be strong because more and more people were crumpling these days, and my mom would break if she knew how much I was suffering. Sleep followed me shortly after, she was right though about me needing to keep my head down for the time being, I could not take another lashing! After a long night and an even longer morning, we were all finally stood in the hallway at school waiting for the twins to arrive. "Mine!" Everyone that was stood in the hallway tensed up, as we were seniors, me and Nick were stood towards the very back of the human line. All the mated people were situated directly opposite their wolf mates in their years. We stayed silent and still as Arya walked down the hall and stopped directly in front of Nick. His eyes widened in fear, unsure of wether to look up or keep his head lowered. "Look me in the eye, mate." He glanced at me slightly as if asking what he should do. "I said, look me in the eye." He slowly moved his eye line up to look at her face. I took a glance myself to see her eyes pitch black with lust. "I... can't... I mean... erm." Before he was able to mutter anything else, two wolves from opposite, grabbed him out of the line and dragged him behind Arya. "Hey!" My head shot up before I could stop myself. My mouth also forgot its place as I jumped out of line. Everyone's head shot to me as my eyes widened in realization at what I'd done. Adrian, the other twin, walked up to me before punching me right in the stomach, I doubled over instantly. Feeling the sting in my slightly healed back. "I know you... You were publicly flogged only two days ago." God I hate this guy. "I also have it on good authority, that you openly spoke out against our rules and regulations in yesterday's class." My head shot down the line slightly to see Erin, looking a little frightened, her mate, the beta to be was looking at her, nodding his head in reassurance. "You traitor, you grassed on your own kind?" I yelled at her before feeling a fist connect with my cheek. My head whipped to the side from the force, while my class members gasped. I'm so done with this treatment, right then, I wasn't in charge of my actions. My fists curled up and my stance became a lot more defensive. My head snapped up to the alpha to be, and I looked him in the eye. "You don't know the meaning of the word disrespect." I suddenly hurled my fist towards his head, which he easily dodged, but my foot came up and kicked him instead. He stumbled backwards from the force with wide eyes. "You... you Actually hit me!" He didn't even sound annoyed, more shocked. Everyone in the hallway was watching, waiting for the alpha to do something but instead he simply stood up straight, regaining his composure. "I think everyone should get back to class." He began to walk away, following his sister when I called him back. "What about Nick?!" "Simple, He's my sisters mate. He now belongs to her." Argh, he's not an object. "He's not her property." A chuckle left his mouth, before turning his back to me again. "All humans are property." A short while later everyone made it to science class, our teacher Mrs Mathews is mated to the lycans pack doctor, she also now has a four and two year old with him. She was one of the first humans to be cohered into a false relationship. "What were you thinking young lady?" I rolled my head at her before looking at the empty seat next to mine. Nick was with that stvpid wolf girl right now. Being changed, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. "I was thinking, this guy is being a prick. Did you hear him? 'All humans are property.' It's bull shet." I looked up and the whole class looked at me like I had three heads. Talking shet about wolves is one thing, but talking about an alpha is punishable by death, attacking an alpha is an even worse offense. There was then a knock at the door and in walked Erin and her band of mated bestards. "Sorry we're late Mrs." "Erin, how are things between you and bata Monroe?" She blushed, the traitor actually blushed at the mention of his name. "He spoke to me last night about trying for a baby. We need a good strong boy to take over as beta." I scoffed looking at her as she took her seat. "You guys are actually pathetic, why can't it be a girl? Those mutts are basically Neanderthals" I voiced my opinion and saw all the shocked faces around me. Calling the lycans mutts, is the same as them calling us scum. After lesson had ended the entire school was called into the hall for assembly. This is where any human who has been found to have broken the rules were punished, usually 10 lashings were goven out or something similar. "Welcome to the school assembly, congratulations to the alpha twins for finding both your mates. Now on to the business at hand, as the 5 year anniversary of the new world is coming up, we have been informed that the alpha king will be visiting our district next week, this is very exciting news. We want you all to look your absolute best, she wolves and mated females will wear exemplary dresses made by seamstress. Male wolves and mated men will wear tailored suits. Anyone who doesn't comply will be reprimanded." The Alpha King?! No one has met him yet, he took over the throne three years ago when he turned 18. He really didn't make any appearances though, great, this month is going to be a nightmare. "As for the humans, you will be given a new uniform to wear for the visit, these are to be neatly ironed and worn to the highest standard. As for the following humans, based on your attitude this past week, you will be coming to the front and facing punishment. Tony summerset?!" Tony's head shot up as he looked around, he was in the year below but he shared my views when it came to the lycans. He slowly walked up to the front of assembly, almost instantly his top was t0rn in two and he received 10 lashings. A girl named Kara was next and she too received 10 lashings. A few more people went up slowly accepting their fate then suddenly my name was called. "Dylan Riley." Inside I was terrified but I simply shrugged my shoulders, I guess I did kind of expect this. Although I'm not sure if my back can take any more damage. "You attacked an alpha, correct!" His eyes bored into mine as I bowed my head submitting to his authority. "Technically, no." Everyone in the school gym looked on in fear, as my head moved to the front row of the wolf side. Adrian sat, with a werewolf girl in the year below, her name was Jana, I guess he found his mate. Nick and Arya were no where to be seen though. Adrian gave me a shrug as if to say he didn't tell, before smirking at my comment. "He hasn't officially taken the alpha title yet, so he's just..." i looked at the principle and noticed his eyes black and his claws out, he was in what lycans call a half shift, triggered when the subject has become angered. He turned to two security wolves and gave them a nod, Almost immediately i was forced onto my knees, my arm was slammed on a table and held in place by one wolf, while my body was held in place by the other. "Ok, I don't think this is needed, I have alpha blood, a stvpid human girl can't hurt me." My head snapped to Adrian who had stood up in front of the school to stop what was happening. "Nevertheless, humans need to know their place." With that the pressure on my arm increased as our principals hand pulled my sleeve up before a long claw punctured my skin. The searing pain shoting from the fresh wound had my eyes scrunched and my fist clenched, I bit the inside of my cheek hard instantly tasting blood, however no sound left my mouth. He continued to write, using my skin as a canvas and his claws as a marker, it went on forever, my vision blurred slightly at one point as I turned my head away. After minutes of torture, he was done and the pressure on my arm eased, instantly I snatched my arm away, hissing through my teeth at the pain. I was about to scurry off stage, when I was roughly grabbed yet again, my arm being held in the air by the principal while my feet were inches off the floor, blood dripped from the wound and the pattern he had made was on show for everyone to see. Loads of people gasped, even the wolves looked slightly horrified at what had happened. "This is what happens when a human decides to speak out. I can promise, anyone who so much as says one word about our way of life, will have the same punishment." My arm was starting to seriously ache from being held in the air for so long, and the lack of blood flow to my suspended arm was causing me pins and needles, still I refused to make a sound. I held the tears back and I bit my cheek harder causing more blood to fill my mouth. "That's enough Bradley!" Adrian growled, he was still stood up and looking at the scene in front of him. His eyes hard as he stared at the principal a low warning growl erupted from his chest which had the head teacher gulping, he quickly let go of my arm causing me to crash to the floor. A small cry left my mouth as I hit the hard floor. Immediately I scrambled away, my foot just missed the high step leading to the stage and I fell, waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. Two strong arms wrapped around me catching my weak body causing me to look up, my eyes widened as I noticed Adrian had caught my falling form. "This isn't part of the human punishment program!" Adrian growled causing me to tense in his grip, I pushed him away from me before fixing my uniform top. The room was deadly silent, taking in the scene in front of them, while I stole a glance at my forearm. Carved into my skin by his devastating claws were two words, words that would most definitely scar my body for life. 'Human scum' "Lessons must be learned, she received lashing merely two days ago, and clearly it had no effect on her." Another growl left Adrian's chest as he stepped on to the stage, I wasn't bothered though, you would think I'd be ashamed but I simply smiled slightly. I fixed my sleeve a little so it wouldn't rub on the fresh wound before speaking. "It doesn't matter," the whole room looked at me shocked by my attitude. "I would rather be labeled human scum, than have any resemblance to your kind. I'm proud of what I am, how many of you can say that?" After my amazing little speech, I walked right down the middle between the humans and lycans and out the door. No more compliance, I'm going to get away with as much as I can without getting into too much bother. There will come a day when the lycans power will fizzle out. When it does I'll be ready, I'll be waiting for the day we take our world back. As for the best part about my plan...

No one can stop me.

"Ouch, not so hard." I seethed as the school nurse cleaned my new wound with antiseptic. "If you had of just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened." I turned to my right looking out the window at the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky. "Like I said, I'm proud to be human, and now everyone knows what I am." I clenched my fist together as the nurse began wrapping a bandage around my forearm. It had been a good few hours since the incident in the hall, and I had been forced to come to the nurces office after I had tried to clean my wound by splashing it with water from the tap, it also refused to stop bleeding. "You are impossible. Can you please just try and stay out of trouble? For one day, that's all I ask." Our school nurse is a wolf, she's one of them. However she hates the way they treat us mere humans, she thinks we should all just live in peace with equal rights. Like that would ever happen. "All I've done is stay out of trouble, but you are just going to humiliate me anyway, so what's the actual point?" "The pack were discussing a public execution, Dylan. You need to walk on egg shells from now on, not just for you but for your family as well." No ones been publicly executed in over 4 months, I'm flattered they're considering it. They only execute people who they believe are the biggest problems to society. "Well then... I'm flattered." I chuckled, before looking at the patch job. 'Huh, not too shabby.' I quickly stood up from the human nursing station and pulled the sleeve of my shirt down covering the evidence of ever being hurt. "This is serious!" I just gave her a blank look before leaving the room. On the way out I heard her call back to me. "Please just think about it." I gave a clipped nod as I walked away wondering how I'm going to tell my mom about this. Later in the evening... "Dilly why you say that?" Freddie looked up at me with a mouth full of bread. "Don't speak with your mouthful!" My mom scolded him as a bashful blush made its way to his cheeks. "Sowwy mommy." His reply was muffled as he swallowed the last chunk of food. "I said it Freddie, because it's the truth. The wolf race are a pathetic excuse for..." my mom cut me off with an extremely stern look. "Dylan! They have ears everywhere, one more word out of you and it's your room." I scowled, my hatred for the Lycan kind growing stronger as each day passes. "What more can they do to me, lash me? Beat me? Brand me? They've ran out of options." I stated slamming my hands down, then severely regretting it as sharp pain shot though my wound. "What was that?" My head shot to regard my mothers worried expression. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were dull and judging as she looked at me. "Nothing, it was nothing." I quickly took my plate in my hand and began to walk to the kitchen. "I'm not really hungry, and I have homework to do!" My mom caught hold of my forearm causing me to drop my plate suddenly, I watched it slowly fall before shattering on the floor. I retracted my arm quickly and turned to Freddie. "Stay there and don't move until it's cleaned up ok sport?" He just nodded with wide eyes, I turned back to my mom and noticed her curious stare on my arm. Her grip shifted to the other side as she turned it around before pulling my sleeve up. The bandage was showing and a bit of blood was seeping though after the wound had been disturbed. "What the hel happened?" My moms eyes widened as she began to fumble with the bandage. Before she could unravel any of it I snatched my arm away. "I had an accident at school. No big." I began to gather the large pieces of the broken plate up ready to put them in the bin. "What did you do Dylan?" She looked at me with pure worry and only then did I realize what the wound must look like to someone who didn't know. "For gods sake! I didn't do it to myself! I got publicly punished at the assembly alright? It's no big deal." Her face dropped instantly and she stepped towards me, causing me to step backwards. "Mom, I'm ok. So back off will you." "What did you do? I've never known them to cut someone's arm as a punishment." Her shock and accusation was evident in her voice and I sighed heavily. "I spoke against the alphas son." I may have hit him too, but I wasn't going to divulge that part to her. "It's not one big cut, mom, it's a brand, 'human scum' carved onto my arm." "They've branded you now too?!" My eyes rolled at her hurt tone as I went to get the dustpan and brush. "You're so much like your father." A sigh left her mouth as she spoke, running a hand through her hair, while I quickly swept up the little pieces of the broken plate. "You've had a new uniform delivered. It's laid out on your bed. Dylan, Please just try and stay respectful in the future, I don't want my daughter to be completely mutilated. Although you're not far off." "Gee, Thanks." I then walked over to my little brother Freddy before blowing a kiss into his neck and hearing him giggle. "So sport, how's school going?" "It's ok." He shrugged before going back to coloring a dinosaur picture in. "Well that's good, stay out of trouble, ok little man?" Heading upstairs and into my room, my thoughts wandered to the permanent graffiti scar very slowly healing on my arm. Disgusting beasts. Think they own the world because they're faster, stronger and can shift. Pah. If you ask me they are not all that.

The second I walked into my room my mouth dropped open. On my bed was some grey pants laid out neatly, which wasn't the surprising part, no, what shocked me was the grey high neck no sleeved button down shirt, every single set of uniform had sleeves except this one. They've done this on purpose those, mutts. They want the world to see my arm and know what a disgusting creature I am. They want the world to know that I, Dylan Riley, am nothing more than 'human scum'.

During the last week, I've been horrible, in class I've been loud in voicing my views, I've insulted at least everyone to some degree, I didn't care about the consequences, and I certainly didn't think about them. I haven't seen Nick at all since he was claimed, and to make matters worse today was the royal visit. Oh yes, werewolves and mated humans alike were spending every waking minute preparing themselves to meet his royal majesty, king of the wolves. Unclaimed Humans however would rather stick pins in their eyes. "Dylan, get down now... you're going to be late." She was right, I was dawdling this morning, I really couldn't be bothered today, I gave myself one last look in the small mirror and sighed when my eyes met my newly uncovered brand. It had bad bruising around the letters, and was still extremely tender to touch, it was definitely healing now though. I made my way down the stairs and came face to face with my mother who was seeing to Freddie, she was helping my brother get his coat on when she turned to me. "You ready sport?" Freddie nodded his little head at me and smiled while I quickly slid my shoes on. "Just Remember, the alpha is bad enough, Dylan, please, please don't do anything to anger the king." My mother stopped us from walking out the door to tell me something she had been telling me continuously for the last couple of days, it was almost as if the entire human population of our district was expecting me to do something stvpid. "Try and have a good day." I rolled my eyes but nodded, even I know not to push the king, he could kil me in the hallway like it was nothing. In fact I plan on staying out of his way for the entirety of the day. "We will see you tonight mom." I stated before me and my brother began our walk to school, his little hand clutched my own tightly as we went. Usually Nick would be with us, as he lives next door, well he used to, now he's residing in the main pack house. I quickly dropped Freddie off at his school and watched him get the wolfsbane neutralizer before walking into him building giving me a small wave before he went in. With my new scar on complete show, and my figure being complimented by the skin tight shirt I was wearing, I sauntered down the street to school, I gave my name and year in and took the wolf's bane neutralizer injection with no problems at all. It was finally getting into school that the problem occurred. Walking through the halls I was met by many looks, some of pity some of disgust. You see every single non mated human in the school was wearing a long sleeved version of the uniform I was given. All the Wolves and mated couples were scattered around in fancy floor length dresses or tailored suits. As I turned the corner I noticed a couple, now this couple happened to catch my eye the most out of all of them because it consisted of Arya and Nick, eating each other's faces off. "What the hel!" Nicks head shot to me as his eyes widened. He too was dressed in a tailored suit, a navy blue tie hung on his neck to match Aryas dress. Why was this happening all the time? It's always my friends that get completely brain washed. I shook my head in disbelief before turning my back on him. I heard his fast footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner. "Dylan?!" He ran right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, making me drop my bag off my shoulder and almost causing me to bump into him. "Let me just explain..." "Has she marked you?" I mean you could almost see it in his eyes, she had marked him, and knowing the way life goes he's probably even mated with her. "Actually... Don't even answer that." I aggressively picked my bag up off of the floor and stormed off down the hall. "Dylan, just listen to me, Erin was right, it's so hard to resist your soulmate, and Arya is actually ok once you get to know her." I just kept walking, he caught up to me walking beside me but it didn't matter, I completely ignored everything and everyone. 'I'm so not in the mood today' getting into class was good though, I said hello to Mr Foley and took my usual seat. Nick sighed then took his bag off ready to sit next to me, but I snapped before he had the chance. "Traitors and mated idiots sit on that side of the room." I didn't look him in the eye as I pointed to a seat right at the front of the classroom on the opposite side. His eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. "You can't be serious Dylan." I gave him a blank look before grabbing my book out of my backpack, I placed it on the desk then began to write the date on the top line. "I've sat in this seat for as long as I can remember." I ignored him, his voice sounded sad and shocked. "Dylan? Wait! What is that?!" Before I could react Nick had grabbed hold of my branded arm and turned it to see the letters. "Oh my God! What happened?" I snatched my arm away from him and shrugged as I continued to write in my book before grabbing my water bottle out of my bag. "The principal happened, it was my punishment for speaking out against Adrian and Arya. I wear it with pride." He just held a complete look of disbelief. "You spoke out against them?" I shrugged, what did he think I'd do. "It's no secret that I despise this stvpid new world and the mutts that control it. You were my friend, I wasn't going to let them just take you without saying something, although that is exactly what you seem to have done. Enjoy the view from your new seat!" "Don't be like that, Dylan, I'm your best friend, I'm sorry about your arm, but..." my eyes rolled inside my head at my friends words. "Anything with the word 'but' in, isn't an apology, it's a rationalization." I took a drink of water from my bottle and kept my eyes facing forward, ignoring his every attempt to try and talk to me. "Dylan?.. Dylan?... Do you know what? Erin is right, if you push us all away you won't have any friends left." He huffed before walking over to the empty seat and sitting down, I could feel him glancing up at me every now and again but I didn't respond. "Good morning class, please settle down." He looked at me then at Nick and frowned, we've never sat apart, we were friends before the new world even began. I just shook my head telling him to forget it. "So... as you know the king will be arriving in a short while, but until then lessons will go on as normal." Its funny seeing teachers in the same uniform your wearing, mr Foley and his wife are the coolest. Human teachers and doctors only have slightly more respect than we do. Because of Mr Foley's status him and his wife have better access to food and drink, Mrs Foley is cool, sometimes she even makes sure mr Foley brings some in for me. Ya know, coz I'm their favorite student. It's not in a weird way, it's just they were friends of the family before the new wold took effect. Mr Foley and my dad were buddies from high school, so it goes without sayin really. "All the mated humans will be at the front of each years line again, after that you will all be placed in status, Nick, as your mated to Alpha Arya, you'll be at the front of your line. Dylan as you have been branded..." his voice trailed off as he looked at me. "Yeah yeah, I'll be at the back of the line behind everyone. I get it." I huffed, moving my sight towards the window once more. "I am sorry." I turned to face Mr Foley again, he looked genuinely upset and that look of pity wasn't something I wanted to see. I gave him a clipped nod then turned away again. "Anyway, on to the subject matter, 'Of Mice and Men, page 64, Nick why don't you start us off with the reading."

"Of course sir." Nick began reading the book but I switched off, today is going to be a long day. After almost an hour and a half of reading comprehension, the bell chimed signaling lunch. I shot up and out of the classroom before anyone could say anything. Today, I was avoiding drama like the plague.

I wandered the corridors straight to the lunch hall. All the people I would normally hang out with we're all mated so I grabbed my lunch quickly, and sat down at the end of the human table. Let me lay the lunch hall out for you. On one side of the room you have two long rows of tables, with simple benches that make it look like prison, on the other side of the room you have multiple round tables with fancy chairs. Yup you get it. The humans sit at the prison tables and the wolves and traitors sit on the fancy tables, they get fancy food, fancy drink and most importantly they get pudding. what I would give to have some pudding. "Dylan can we just talk?" Nick quickly took the spot next to me as he set his lunch tray down. I looked at his food which had been placed on a ceramic, circular white plate. God that looked good. I sighed knowing he was going to talk anyway. "Fine, you have two minutes." I used my fork to take a bit of pasta off his plate and shoved it into my mouth. God that was good. "After I left school, I was taken to the pack house with Arya, and I really got to know her. It took a few days for me to finally accept being with her, but ever since life has been ok, and the sax... well that's a whole other story." Eww, I didn't need that mental image in my head. "I'm glad your happy." I stated before deciding I had no appetite. His face held shock before he sighed in relief. "That means a lot Dylan, I mean you know that your opinion matters to me." I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I said I was glad your happy. I didn't say I approved of what you've done. You've basically turned into one of THEM, I can't ever forgive you for that." He looked hurt, but I couldn't care less about his feelings. He placed his hand gently on my arm and went to open his mouth when a growl sounded out. All heads whipped to where it came from, Arya was stood holding a glass of soda and a plate, she was looking right at me and Nick and I would totally be dead if looks could kil. Nick quickly retracted his hand, his whole face fell and you could see sorrow flood his irises. "You sit with me now, get away from that, that... scum!" Wow, Nick was such a lucky guy. NOT. "You heard her. Get away from me, go sit with your new friends. I'm happy for you, and I understand where your coming from, but don't come up to me again and pretend you didn't betray your own kind. Don't pretend you didn't betray me." I shoved a little bit of food into my mouth before standing up and walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my tray on the table. I was walking through the hallway to the classroom, you see I decided to spend lunch with Mr Foley in his room, when I happened to hear voices in the corridor. "Is it wise for her to actually be present when the king arrives? Surely she could be placed in the dungeons, it might actually teach her some respect?" My principal was speaking to the alpha of our district, huh, if I stayed and listened do you think they'd notice, maybe they could smell me?! "Everyone is to be present, if the Riley girl does one thing out of line she will be dealt with severely, child or not. That girl has been a blight to the district since day one, she's dangerous, if she puts one hair out of place I will personally break her into submission." Oh shet, they were talking about me specifically, and they mentioned the dungeon, that's not been used in months. Normally I would have listened in more but something about the entire situation didn't sit right with me, all of a sudden, I was on edge, and simply wasn't interested in the slightest in hearing how my misery was to be enhanced. I backed up slightly before turning around and bumping head first into one of the hottest man I had ever seen. I lost my balance immediately and fell straight on to the floor letting out a small grumble in the process. His eyebrows knitted together quickly and his breath hitched in his throat as he looked upon my fallen state and gasped. "Mate!" He whispered, his eyes fixated on mine. Now, I had seen and heard that many times to know what that means, I gasped before taking a step back. 'No, no, no, no, no. This can not be happening.' He growled slightly before stepping towards me. Oh Shet!

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2024.06.01 12:02 Normodox A Slush Fund for Radical Protesters?

The profusion of identical green tents at this spring’s anti-Israel protests struck many as odd. “Why is everybody’s tent the same?,” asked New York mayor Eric Adams. Like others, the mayor suspected “a well-concerted organizing effort” driving the protests. More recent reporting shows a concerted push behind the Gaza protest movement. But it is not as simple as a single organization secretly rallying protesters or buying tents. Instead, the movement’s most determined activists represent a network of loosely linked far-left groups. Some are openly affiliated with well-known progressive nonprofits; others work in the shadows.
The movement also draws on diverse but generous sources of financial backing. Those funding streams may soon be augmented by the federal government. As I chronicled last year in a Manhattan Institute report, “The Big Squeeze: How Biden’s Environmental Justice Agenda Hurts the Economy and the Environment,” the administration’s massive program of environmental justice grants seems designed to prioritize the funding of highly ideological local groups. The Inflation Reduction Act, for example, earmarks $3 billion for “environmental and climate justice block grants” intended for local nonprofits. Today, hundreds of far-left political groups include language about environmental issues and “climate justice” in their mission statements. If just a fraction of planned grants flows to such groups, the effect will be a gusher of new funding for radical causes.
As the Gaza protests spread across U.S. college campuses, many observers noted an eerie uniformity among them. From one campus to the next, protesters operated in disciplined cadres, keeping their faces covered and using identical rote phrases as they refused to talk with reporters. The Atlantic noted the strangeness of seeing elite college students “chanting like automatons.” Students held up keffiyeh scarves or umbrellas to block the view of prying cameras and linked arms to halt the movements of outsiders. At Columbia University and elsewhere, protesters formed “liberated zones,” from which “Zionists” were excluded. Around the edges of the encampments, the more militaristic activists donned helmets and goggles and carried crude weapons, apparently eager to mix it up with police or counter-protesters. We’ve seen these tactics before—notably during the “mostly peaceful” Black Lives Matter protests of 2020, when full-time agitators helped ignite riots, set up a police-free (and violence-plagued) zone in Seattle, and laid nightly siege to Portland, Oregon’s federal courthouse.
In a remarkable work of reporting, Park MacDougald recently traced the tangled roots of organizations backing pro-jihad protests, both on and off campuses. These include Antifa and other networks of anonymous anarchists, along with “various communist and Marxist-Leninist groups, including the Maoist Revolutionary Communist Party, the Party for Socialism and Liberation (PSL), and the International ANSWER coalition,” MacDougald writes. Higher up the food chain, we find groups openly supported by America’s growing class of super-rich tech execs or the anti-capitalist heirs of great fortunes. For example, retired tech mogul Neville Roy Singham, who is married to Code Pink founder Jodie Evans, funds The People’s Forum, a lavish Manhattan resource center for far-left groups. As the Columbia protests intensified, the center urged members to head uptown to “support our students.” Following the money trail of other protest groups, MacDougald finds connections to the Rockefeller Brothers Fund, the Ford Foundation, and—surprising no one—the George Soros-backed Tides Foundation.
Of course, the current wave of anti-Israel protests also involves alliances with pro-Hamas organizations such as Students for Justice in Palestine. Last November, Jonathan Schanzer of the Foundation for Defense of Democracies testified to the House Ways and Means Committee that SJP and similar groups have deep ties to global terrorist organizations, including Hamas.
For many keffiyeh-wearing protestors, however, a recently professed concern for Palestinians is just the latest in a long list of causes they believe justify taking over streets and college quads. In Unherd, Mary Harrington dubs this medley of political beliefs the “omnicause,” writing that “all contemporary radical causes seem somehow to have been absorbed into one.” Today’s leftist activists share an interlocking worldview that sees racism, income inequality, trans intolerance, climate change, alleged police violence, and Israeli-Palestinian conflicts all as products of capitalism and “colonialism.” Therefore, the stated rationale for any individual protest is a stand-in for the real battle: attacking Western society and its institutions.
In the U.S., this type of general-purpose uprising goes back at least to the riots at the 1999 meeting of the World Trade Organization in Seattle. In those protests, mainstream liberal factions—including labor unions and environmentalists—were joined by “black bloc” anarchists and other radicals eager to engage in “direct action” against police. That pattern—relatively moderate demonstrators providing a friendly envelope for hard-core disruptors—formed the template for many later protests: the Occupy Wall Street encampments in 2011, demonstrations following the police shooting of Michael Brown in 2014, 2016’s Standing Rock anti-pipeline movement, and of course, the calamitous summer of 2020.
These uprisings were not entirely spontaneous. In some cases, activists spend months planning mass actions—for example, against economic summits or political conventions—and can recruit street fighters from across the country. In others, an event, such as George Floyd’s death, sparks popular protests involving neophyte demonstrators. Those attract far-left activists, who swoop in to organize and expand the struggle, often tilting it toward more radical action.
That has certainly been the case at the college Gaza-paloozas. At Columbia, the New York Times spotted a woman old enough to be a student’s grandmother in the thick of the action as protesters barricaded that school’s Hamilton Hall. The woman was 63-year-old Lisa Fithian, a lifetime activist, who Portland’s alternative weekly Street Roots approvingly calls “a trainer of mass rebellion.” A counter-protester trying to block the pro-Hamas demonstrators told NBC News, “She was right in the middle of it, instructing them how to better set up the barriers.” Fithian told the Times she’d been invited to train students in protest safety and “general logistics.” She claims to have taken part in almost every major U.S. protest movement going back to the 1999 “Battle in Seattle.”
America’s radical network has plenty of Lisa Fithians, with the time and resources to travel the country educating newcomers about the “logistics” of disruptive protests. And these activists appear to have played key roles in the college occupations. The New York City Police Department says nearly half the demonstrators arrested on the Columbia and City University of New York (CUNY) campuses on April 30 were not affiliated with the schools. One hooded Hamilton Hall occupier—photographed scuffling with a Columbia custodian before getting arrested—turned out to be 40-year-old James Carlson, heir to a large advertising fortune. According to the New York Post, Carlson lives in a $2.3 million Park Slope townhouse and has a long rap sheet. For example, in 2005, he was arrested in San Francisco during the violent “West Coast Anti-Capitalist Mobilization and March Against the G8.” (Those charges were dropped.)
For a quarter-century now, Antifa and other anarchist networks have worked to refine tactics and share lessons following each major action. At Columbia, UCLA, and other schools, authorities found printouts of a “Do-It Yourself Occupation Guide” and similar documents. The young campus radicals are eager to learn from their more experienced elders. And, like the high-achieving students they are, they follow directions carefully. MacDougald asked Kyle Shideler, the director for homeland security and counterterrorism at the Center for Security Policy, about the mystery of the identical tents. There was no need for a central group to distribute hundreds of tents, Shideler said. Instead, “the organizers told [students] to buy a tent, and sent around a Google Doc with a link to that specific tent on Amazon. So they all went out and bought the same tent.”
In other words, America’s radical class has gotten very skilled at recruiting and instructing new activists—even from among the ranks of elite college students with a good deal to lose. How much more could this movement accomplish with hundreds of millions in federal dollars flooding activist groups around the country?
From its first week in office, the Biden administration has trumpeted its goal to funnel more environmental spending toward “disadvantaged communities that have been historically marginalized,” partly by issuing grants to grassroots organizations. Previous environmental justice (EJ) grant programs were small in scope. But, with the passage of the Inflation Reduction Act (IRA) in August 2022, a huge pool of grant money became available. EPA administrator Michael Regan told reporters, “We’re going from tens of thousands of dollars to developing and designing a program that will distribute billions.”
More than a year and a half later, it remains hard to nail down just where the Biden administration’s billions in EJ grants will wind up. Money is being distributed through a confusing variety of programs, and the process of identifying recipients is ongoing. To help outsource the job of sifting through proposals, the EPA last year designated 11 institutions as “Environmental Justice Thriving Communities Grantmakers.” These groups are empowered to make subgrants directly to community organizations, under streamlined EPA oversight. In all, the Biden administration has entrusted these outfits with distributing a staggering $600 million in funding. The money is expected to start flowing this summer.
The EPA’s grantmakers include a number of educational institutions and left-leaning nonprofits. For example, the EPA chose Fordham University as its lead grantmaker in the New York region. Fordham, in turn, lists as partners two nonprofits that oppose immigration enforcement. (One, the New Jersey Alliance for Immigrant Justice, states on its website: “NJAIJ believes in the human right to migrate, regardless of citizenship or political status.”) Neither group claims expertise in environmental issues. Given that the IRA’s eligibility requirements for EJ grants are extremely vague, however, perhaps that’s not a problem. Almost any activity that could help “spur economic opportunity for disadvantaged communities” (in the words of Biden’s EJ executive order) might qualify.
Perhaps the most prominent—and problematic—EPA grantmaker is the Berkeley, California-based Climate Justice Alliance. The CJA is a consortium of mostly far-left activist groups. It describes its mission as working for “regenerative economic solutions and ecological justice—under a framework that challenges capitalism and both white supremacy and hetero-patriarchy.” The group is a vigorous proponent of the omnicause, embracing almost every left-wing concern as a manifestation of climate change. For example, the CJA website proclaims: “The path to climate justice travels through a free Palestine.” MacDougald notes that the Grassroots Global Justice Alliance, one of CJA’s affiliated groups, “organized an illegal anti-Israel protest in the Capitol Rotunda in December at which more than 50 activists were arrested.”
The CJA website also includes a section dedicated to the cause known as Stop Cop City. It refers to an effort to halt the construction of an 85-acre police and firefighter training center outside Atlanta. Rag-tag activists from around the country have gathered around the facility since 2021. They have repeatedly battled with police—sometimes with fireworks and Molotov cocktails—and used bolt cutters to enter the site and torch construction equipment. (CJA’s Stop Cop City page features a cartoon illustration of three childlike activists; one brandishes bolt cutters.) The group also backs a legal defense fund for activists arrested in attacks on the training center or in other protests. For those looking for more inspiration, CJA links to an interview with former Black Panther and self-described revolutionary Angela Davis.
The Alliance is not an ideological outlier in Biden’s EJ coalition. On the contrary, when the White House assembled its White House Environmental Justice Advisory Council (WHEJAC), a panel of outside experts meant to provide “horizon-expanding EJ advice and recommendations,” it chose CJA co-chair Elizabeth Yeampierre to help lead the committee. Like other members of the panel, she sees environmental issues through an ideological, not a scientific, lens. “Climate change is the result of a legacy of extraction, of colonialism, of slavery,” Yeampierre told Yale Environment 360. As a group, radical EJ activists tend not to focus on pragmatic ways to reduce pollution and carbon emissions; for them, the real goal is overturning what they see as an exploitative economic and political system. Since these are the voices the White House chose to help shape its EJ policies, we can assume this worldview will dominate grantmaking decisions.
In February 2023, House Oversight Committee chairman James Comer, along with fellow committee member Pat Fallon, wrote to EPA administrator Regan asking for more information on the EPA’s grant programs. They noted that the EPA’s own studies of EJ grants issued in previous years showed sloppy supervision. According to an EPA report, an earlier version of the program funded projects that did “not logically lead to the desired environmental and/or public health [result].” Without better oversight and more clearly defined goals, the congressmen wrote, the EPA’s EJ grant machine risks becoming simply a “slush fund for far-left organizations.”
Since then, the administration has done little to reassure skeptics. To the contrary, the EPA has put at least one far-left organization—CJA—in charge of distributing $50 million in grant money. No doubt, many of the EPA grants will go to worthwhile projects. But money is fungible. A group that gets a large grant to, say, clean up dirty parks or teach children about recycling will also be able to hire more staff and divert more resources to political action.
With graduation behind them, most of the anti-Israel college protesters have stowed away their keffiyehs and moved on to summer vacations or internships. But the peripatetic activists who helped guide and intensify those uprisings are doubtless already planning their next actions. After all, two political conventions are looming. This fall, the college protests will likely flare up again, though by then perhaps focused on a different facet of the omnicause. And, with hundreds of millions in fresh funding flowing through the activist ecosystem, the groups that quietly nurture extremists—like those who firebombed “Cop City,” or who chant “Intifada Revolution!,” or who block bridges in the name of “climate”—will be more emboldened than ever.
A Slush Fund for Radical Protesters? City Journal (city-journal.org)

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2024.06.01 11:59 YukiteruAmano92 There Will Be Scritches Pt.180

Previous Interlewd XLI Next First

---Sample---

---Fnurfar’s perspective---
---2710 Terran Calenda3 years BF---
All six of my paws desperately scramble against the slick pavement of the Prosperity back alley as I flee for my life!
Pursuing me… is a monster!
His species aren’t meant to be sprinters!
They said if it came to a chase, I just needed to quickly get out of his line of sight and keep going and he’d not be able to keep up!
I skid around a corner and steal a glance behind me, seeing two furious eyes moving towards me so fast that they seem to leave streaks of emerald green behind them as afterimages!
The Fury is so close on my tail that he’s almost certain to catch me now!
It would be laughable how much my… ‘employers’ had underestimated him if it weren’t so terrifying!
‘You’ve got a Terran with you! There should be no issue!’
Yes, that idiot mercenary they hired almost had me going with his smug, arrogant proclamation that ‘Big=slow! Slow=dead!’ as he idly showed off his little knife tricks!
My confidence lasted up until the very moment I saw the one we were supposed to rob!
[20cm] taller than the skinny mercenary and looking like he could easily weigh twice as much, the man was a Hunt damned beast compared to the one who was meant to protect me from him!
I think Flynn reassessed his cocksure attitude as well because, rather than waiting for me to have an opening like we agreed in the [fucking] plan, he just drew a knife and tried to stab the monster to death!
An extremely poorly calculated risk!
There was no competition!
This juggernaut dealt with Flynn as easily as Flynn could have dealt with me!
It took him a matter of seconds to dispatch my accomplice but that was a matter of seconds where he was distracted enough that I was able to snag what we had been after… not that it makes any difference now!
Just as I hear thundering footfalls coming up on my left, powerful fingers impact the space between the bottom of my neck and the top of my top shoulderblades.
I’m slammed into the ground… but not killed…
I can feel the power contained in the iron grip around my neck…
I know that decapitating me would be as simple as deciding to close his fingers but, as I wait for death to come, it doesn’t…
Instead, the hand slides up my shoulders, gathering the loose skin and lifting me up like a kit in her parent’s mouth…
The first thing I’m able to see is the monster’s flat, booted feet, followed by a pair of long thick legs, then a chest and left arm covered in a loose fitting, buttoned shirt, patterned with vertical and horizontal lines.
The red fabric of his top disguises the bloodstain from the wound he got from Flynn, just below his shoulder. However, the nauseatingly metallic smell of it absolutely fills my nostrils!
The final thing to be revealed, as my feet hang more than [a metre] from the ground, is a face… the scarred skin a pale beige, the white, calcite teeth bared in a furious grimace, copper coloured eyebrows tilted downward in the middle over a nose, wrinkled with anger, and emerald eyes, burning with rage!
His shoulders rise and fall, in time with panted breaths he sucks in and out through his gritted teeth, putting me less in mind of a person (or even an animal) catching their breath after exertion and more in mind of some hulking piece of machinery from the Steam Age venting its pressure!
The Terran extends his pallid skinned, long fingered, furless, pentadactyl left hand to me, stained with the ferrous blood that’s run down his sleeve, and growls “Sample!”
“No…” I breathe, terrified.
“GIRL! I AIN’T fuckin’ PLAYIN’ with you!” he snarls, curling all but his index finger and jabbing it towards my snout “You’re gonna. GIVE. BACK. what you. FUCKIN’. STOLE!”
“You… can take it… from my corpse…” I defy, clutching my exhausted, trembling pawhands to the front of my jumpsuit.
Effortlessly, his free hand comes forward, batting my four aside, before pinching the top of the stasis vial and pulling it free, with there being absolutely nothing I can do to stop him!
He holds up the tube, in which is visible a small plant with a rosette of frilly black leaves and through which can be seen a frozen impression of the room it was in when it was stasised, demanding “You’re really willin’ to die for this!? For corporate espionage?!… Why the fuck’s this matter to you like that?!?!?!”
“I don’t care… about the plant… at all…” I answer, defeated.
His face twists in a sneer as he asks “Then why tell me I had to pry it from your cold. dead. hands!?”
“Because… if I come back… emptyhanded… they’re going to… torture my husband… and son… and make me watch!… If I don’t… come back… at all… maybe they’ll let them go!” I pant in answer.
His face falls blank… but I can tell that is not because he’s no longer angry!
Instead, his redoubled rage has gone from white hot to ice cold as he leans in and demands “Who’s ‘they’?”
---2715 Terran Calenda2 years AF---
“One!?” demands the sceptical, lutrine, Nvar man, one of six listening to my story for the first time (along with the two friends who’ve heard it before), holding up a webbed pawhand and extending a single finger “You’re trying to tell us that one Terran dismantled the entire Giluspri Sisters’ Syndicate, overnight!?… Simply because you told him a sob story about them holding your family hostage!?”
“I did say you wouldn’t believe me(!)” I smirk, lifting my drink to take a sip.
“You’re damn right I don’t believe you!!!” he sneers “It might have been a little more believable if you’d made it a team of a dozen or so Terrans that were guarding this thing but one!?… There’s no way it took a single individual a single night to root out and entirely destroy an enterprise that Prosperity’s government had been hunting for nearly [2 decades], even if that individual was a Terran!”
I place my drink down on the table and turn the palms of all four pawhands to the ceiling as I say “Believe me or don’t… that’s exactly how it happened!”
“Hmmm… Don’t know ’bout ‘exactly’…!” comes a familiar voice from behind my head, in the next booth over.
I freeze and straighten my back.
The friends and audience in my booth are looking past me, curiously, but, from their faces, it doesn’t look like they can see anything.
I stand and slide out through the gap between the table and Nafnarl’s footpaws.
I turn right and am immediately able to see that the booth next to us is occupied by a mixture of Terrans and some much smaller humanoids with green skin.
I keep going, rounding the partition to reveal…
“By the Hunt! Victor?!” I exclaim, seeing the man sat with his back almost exactly to where I was sitting, next to another tall, slim humanoid with blue skin and four arms.
His copper hair is much longer, his face isn’t as scarred and isn’t wearing the disgusted sneer that characterised so much of the time he and I spent together but… there’s no mistaking it!
The man turns his head, smiling, before standing up to nearly twice my height and extending a palm to ruffle the fur between my ears, saying “How’s it goin’, Foxy? You look a lot better ’an you did last time I saw you at least(!)” gesturing with his other hand up and down my less skinny and less visibly scarred body.
“Never mind that, Victor! What are you doing here?! You didn’t tell me you were coming back to Prosperity!”
He smirks “Yeah, sorry Foxy… It’s a loose lips sink ships kinda deal… Just thought I’d show my friends here the bar you brought me to celebrate after everythin’ was done that time… Didn’t think I’d actually run into you here!”
I stare up at the man, agog, for a few moments before reaching up with both my left hands and closing them around his wrist.
He allows me to drag him back to the head of my table.
“Nafnarl! Gfurnaf! This is him! This is the one I’ve been telling you about for the last [5 years]!” I say to my two Graufna friends before turning to the rest of the table to declare “He’s the man who took down the Giluspris! He’s Victor ‘Cuddles’ Taylor!”
With mirthful bemusement, the Terran raises his left palm to the table to smile “Y’alright guys!” before his eyes scan the faces and his expression goes concerned. He turns to me and asks “Your hubby alright, Foxy?”
I bare my teeth (I hope friendlily) and answer “Fnarnulf’s fine, Victor!… Fuffarn too! This is just a girl’s night…” gesturing at my two friends “…or… it was(!)” gesturing over the four men and two women, of four different species, who joined us to hear my story.
“What did you mean by it not being ‘exactly’ right?” queries Lunvo, the same sceptical Nvar who voiced disbelief before, still looking sceptical (not that I can blame him) but at least impressed by the fact that the ‘con’ has a (imposing looking) Terran stooge now(!)
“Weeeeell…” Victor frowns down at me, mirthfully “…the way she described me dodgin’ that knife attack, she made me sound almost psychic(!)… In reality, she and this guy weren’t as smooth as she seems to think(!) The fact that I even got nicked by someone I was payin’ as much attention to as that is a bad reflection on my reaction time!… Also, she kinda made it sound like I went into their headquarters with a gun in one hand and a lit plasmasword in the other(!) As I recall, I gave ’em all a chance to surrender and come quietly and it were only after they, shall we say, indicated a lack of interest in that option that my weapons first cleared leather!… Oh! And what was with all that comparin’ the way I pant to ventin’ steam engines, Foxy(?!)”
“But…” starts Muan, a nervous tolypeutine Wne woman beside her Wno husband, Kmuw “…you don’t deny it was you and you alone who brought down the Giluspris?… Without help?”
The pale skin of the Terran’s flat face performs a complicated scrunch as he considers the question before answering “Don’t know ’bout ‘without help’… I had Foxy here for showin’ me the way, after I’d done a lotta convincin’… and, once I’d taken care of ’em, local law enforcers came to take the survivors away… Aaaaand… I probably didn’t actually manage to kill or capture every last one of ’em… just gutted its power structure enough that the rats fled the sinkin’ ship(!)”
“Why are you calling her ‘Foxy’?” asks Lunvo, four eyes narrowed in suspicion “‘Fnurfar’ is the name she gave us!”
The large man shrugs his shoulders “I didn’t get her name until we came here to celebrate… she didn’t trust me to give it… Had to call her somethin’, so I called her Foxy.”
“Hmmm…” responds Lunvo “…I’m not buying it…”
Victor raises an eyebrow “You ain’t buyin’ me givin’ her a nickname(!?)”
“I don’t believe any of it! The whole story reeks of the fanciful!”
I bare my teeth and slam my paws on the table before snarling “I don’t care if you question my honesty, Lunvo, but this man saved my husband’s life, my son’s life, the lives of dozens of others, freed me from effective slavery and freed this planet from its largest criminal syndicate! I will not have you questioning his integrity!”
Lunvo cowers away from me, despite the table separating us.
I feel a large, strong hand on my shoulder.
I turn to see a smiling face.
“Eeeeasy there, Foxy… ’Preciate the defence but there ain’t no need to get heated over it!… ’Specially not when there’s a really easy way to sort this out…” he looks up at Lunvo and asks “Lunvo, was it? Could I ask you to look up the front page of the Prosperity Chronicle from the 3rd of September, 2710?… I think you’ll see a picture of me shakin’ hands with your governor at the time…”
---
Previous Interlewd XLI Next First
Discord
Dramatis Personae

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2024.06.01 11:59 papiisinthehouse HELPPPP

Am i the asshole for wanting to tell my friend I don’t longer want to be their roommate in college
Earlier this year when housing applications were released my friend ( who is in the same major as me and multiple classes with me) asked me If i wanted to be their roommate.
For context my current roommates did not mention wanting to dorm again next year and I brought this up prior to the application process to said friend.
When the applications came out they bombarded me in person about being their roommate. Since this happened while other of our friends were present, I was put in an uncomfortable place where I didn’t want to straight up say no and I didn’t want to lie about having other living arrangements. I expressed that I was unsure about living with a friend due to all the horror stories i have heard and read and they immediately told me that doesn’t apply to us we will be okay . In the following days they kept asking me about it and telling me about their really bad living situations prior to the one they have currently. They told me about being placed with some girls that were to keep the story short were really fucked up. I felt really bad and basically trapped and at some point agreed to be their roommate but I was hesitant the whole time.
Flash forward to a month or so they are trying to figure out a third roommate and ask me if i would be down to room with one of their friends. I said sure. We all signed up to be roommates through the portal and everything was “okay”. In this moment i felt like I couldn’t get out because there was already any other person added.
In the next 2-3 weeks, they asked me to go out to a party to which I was already going to with another friend. I said you can come with my friend and I if you want. All three of us ended up going out drinking and smoking and it was a good time at first. By the third hour we are at a different party and all of us are dancing together suddenly they get in the middle my friend and I and started to get closer and closer to me. Alike to how I have told this story before I am unsure about what actually happened in this next part because I was pretty messed up which was known to both my friends the whole time. As they get close to my body their face started to lean into mine and i feel as if they were trying to kiss me. In this moment i panic and i start dance with my head down and shift my body. Eventually we all went home.
The next day I ask my other friend that was present “hey am so sorry if this is awkward for you but i need to figure out if im just making this up or not” and i explained what i think i saw and felt and my friend says yes i noticed it too but i didt know what was going on. this made me question the situation even more to the point where i am visibly avoiding them whenever i can but i eventually texted them saying “ hey i don’t remember a lot about that night i was messed up so im not sure if i remember right but did you try to kiss me when we went out im just trying to piece what happened together” They denied everything and said no i didn’t try to kiss you .
I decided to drop it because I wanted to trust them. A week later I go i went to my housing application for something and saw that our third roommate was no longer in our roommate group. I text my friend and ask hey what happened to blah blah is she not rooming with us? To which they say “ No she isn’t because i told her about the kiss thing and and said she would feel uncomfortable to live with us”( I was very confused why she would be uncomfortable living with us) and my friend goes on to explain that she had walked into her roommates having sex on her bed one time. Having this information, I can only assume she would feel uncomfortable because of the “ possibility of feelings or something physical happening between me and my friend”
This makes me feel uncomfortable because I am now unsure if the kiss thing was real or what was said to the third roommate in order to make her say that she is uncomfortable. I have not brought it up since but I have also been facing other problems with them too in a more academic setting.
They are very used to being late to classes, this being said they never really know what’s going on and asks me a billion questions then doesn’t listen when i explain and then askes the same things again. On top of this they tend to react like “omg u didn’t invite me or tell me to go eat” if i go out with any one else. I had a recent final exam project with them and they made me waste my whole day waiting at one of the school buildings in order to record and were really inconsiderate of my time and a lot of other tiny things that bother me
What should I do what can i do to leave this situation? Can i leave ? Can I leave without making it weird ? The year is about to end soon and room assignments are completed for more people except for the people living on special community floors ( we got accepted into me of them) i have never needed more advice to how to manage this situation.

submitted by papiisinthehouse to roommates [link] [comments]

2024.06.01 11:58 Kaslight What's actually going on in FF7R (The Whispers [Probably] Got You)

EXTENSIVE Rebirth, Remake, and OG FF7 spoilers in here.
This is a continuation of What's Actually Going On in FF7R (The White Materia) where I attempt to make sense of everything the Remake continuity added to the OG FF7 story. It really is best if you read the other thread first, just because this will be easier if i've already explained my theory on the White Materia and it's associated spell, Holy.
Another disclaimer : This is, still, just a theory, aGameTheory. Don't hate me (or square?) in the event it's completely wrong, which it has a decent chance of being.

There are only 2 things about FF7's Story that have fundamentally changed in Remake.
The White and Black Materia. Or more specifically, the Magic granted by them.

But what I want to discuss this time is (what I personally think, as of Rebirth) is one brilliant misdirection from Square Enix...in hindsight, anyway.

The Whispers

Oh no

"....What the hell was Square thinking?" -- You, probably, watching the ending to Rebirth and/or Remake

Well, they were thinking exactly what you were thinking. And they used it against you.
So getting right to it. TLDR;
The Whispers are exactly what they were said to be -- they protect fate by rejecting any changes to the Lifestream. The misdirection here is how YOU have been goaded into misinterpreting this information.
The White and Black Materia can fully explain their existence and purpose. And it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the OG FF7.
Let's start with what we learned from the previous thread about the White Materia:

So what does the White Materia ACTUALLY do in FF7R?
The White Materia (Holy) gives the user access to the Lifestream. Not just a piece of its knowledge, like regular materia....but the actual lifestream itself. In doing so, they gain knowledge, like all Materia allows them to do. Knowledge of the past, the future, and everything else in flux.
But this is NOT knowledge that you're not supposed to be able to actually do anything with, **because unlike casting Fire or Lightning....**knowing the future allows you to change fate.

Materia are orbs containing knowledge of the ancients. In effect, they contain information from the lifestream itself. The White Materia's magic (Holy) is special though. The magic it contains seems to allow the user to traverse the lifestream itself. This means, in effect, the ability to interact with (and take knowledge from) the actual memories of the Lifestream.
As we know, the Lifestream is everything, everywhere, and every time. All life comes from the lifestream, and when something dies, it returns there. And its memories stay there forever, as physical places within the lifestream.
This is something Tifa observed for herself in Rebirth. In her brief time floating with the WEAPON, she was reunited with her very own memories...in a very literal fashion.
Tifa, inside the Lifestream in the middle of the Gongaga Reactor
This is the Mako pool in the Lifestream underneath Gongaga. We literally watched Tifa fall in, and physically swim to this location........so why is Tifa's house here? Along with...the Nibelheim Mountians?
A Fragmented Nibelheim, including Mt Nibel and the Bridge that Tifa and Cloud almost died on in the past.
Tifa's memories are not only being played out here....they are physically real. This is because she's inside the Lifestream. She hasn't gone anywhere, she's still in Gongaga, but look at the extent to which this pool of Mako is able to interact with one person's memories.
And also....wait a second.
This space beneath the reactor is filled with White and Black Whispers.
...I thought we killed all the whispers? What are they doing here?
We'll come back to this later.
Lets back up a bit.

Why you [probably] hated the Whispers.

Hear me out.
The "OG Storyline" has never existed in Remake. It's not a thing. And the Whispers have nothing to do with it.
\"Oh, the Whispers came because Reno doesn't die in the original game\" -- You, probably

"The whispers were put into the game as a meta commentary on how the developers just want to create their own story, but the fans won't let us, so the party fucking KILLS FATE so that Nomura or Nojima or whomever is most annoying can write whatever they want." -- The Internet. Also you. Probably.

Everyone thinks the Whispers only existed in Remake in order to ensure that the story never deviates from the OG FF7 Storyline. Every time something important is about to happen that didn't happen in the original game, the whispers intervene and correct the timeline.
This is the typical, widely accepted "Meta Commentary" explanation of the Whispers.
But it's wrong.
No, not just because this theory says so. This interpretation was ALWAYS wrong.
So the whispers are canon police, but are just gonna IGNORE stuff like this?
FF7R's storyline is self-contained. If the whispers existed to "protect the old events", then why is even Remake chocked full of shit that never happened in the OG and would actively change the story if it did?
But don't be confused -- the writers ABSOLUTELY wanted you to think this way. It's what bothered me about Remake's ending. But they were actually clever about it, and Rebirth vindicates this decision.
"Changing the Future", "Defying Fate", and "The Future is Unwritten" has nothing to do the OG FF7.
Okay good we got this out of the way, I can stop talking about Meta Analysis and get to the actual good stuff.

What the whispers were ACTUALLY doing

Remake explained what the Whispers are verbatim.
They protect fate -- the Lifestream. From Aerith, and Jenova.
The Lifestream IS Fate.

Red -"Perhaps best described as arbiters of fate. They are drawn to those who attempt to alter destiny's course and ensure they do not."
Tifa - "And you're saying that flow is somehow...fixed?
Red - "Yes. For it is the will of the planet itself."

Barret then speaks about possible bad fates. And Red XIII says this:

Barret - "So if we're destined for a bleak future, these Whispers will try to keep us on that course?"

"....Now wait just a damn minute. How in the hell could you possibly know any of that? Spouting that cryptic stuff -- which could all be bullshit!"

Red - "When Aerith reached out to me...I found this knowledge of the Whispers."

In the previous thread, we explained how Aerith has been messing with the Lifestream by mistakenly using the White Materia to obtain information she has no business knowing. The Whispers are simply reacting to her blatant misuse of this, and act to correct it.
This is very consistent, even in Pt1. The Whispers in Remake ONLY appear when someone is either:

Using forbidden knowledge from the Lifestream
Manipulating events by sharing forbidden knowledge from the lifestream
When something foreign attempts to force its will on the lifestream

This is the only time they act. But the THIRD one is the most important. I'm going to go through a few examples in Remake and show exactly what's happening that is causing the Whispers to intervene, and explicitly why.
After I show you this, please go back and watch videos of all these sorts of events in Remake. You will see exactly what I mean.
Okay, buckle up kids!

Violation #1 Using forbidden knowledge from the Lifestream

Watching the first appearance of Aerith in Remake gives us full clarity of what's actually happening.
Aerith is attacked by an invisible force.
Aerith is being attacked by Whispers. This is because she possesses the White Materia, and has constant access to knowledge she isn't supposed to have. They are taking it from her.
Thing to note here. Cloud cannot see the whispers. This is because he is not violating any of the 3 rules.
Sephiroth makes an appearance here.
The appearance of the \"Mental Static\" used in both Remake and Rebirth
This is a Red Herring...in fact, this is THREE brilliantly placed Red Herrings. Because the "Memory Static" that appears here belongs to both Cloud AND Aerith, and serves to confuse you on what it actually means.

Aerith sees Cloud, and immediately gains knowledge about them both that she is not supposed to know. Also, if you pay attention, Aerith is NOT frozen during this sequence. This is her scene just as much as it is Cloud's.
Cloud has yet another vision of Sephiroth, caused by his Jenova cells. This is a huge misdirection, to eventually make you think Sephiroth is popping up in places he "shouldn't be."
This is where Remake starts to fuck with your head. They're using the same memory effect for two different characters, for two different reasons. But the result is essentially the same -- the characters involved are having their perception altered. Remake does NOT distinguish between static caused by Holy or static caused by Jenova. They are treated equally in Remake.

The biggest red herring here though is Sephiroth.
It SEEMS unnatural that Sephiroth is appearing here, this early in the game. But it isn't unnatural -- Cloud is plagued by these visions all the time in this continuity. This is why the game gave us a Sephiroth appearance immediately after the Bombing Mission.
Now. Notice how, despite being attacked by invisible whispers, Aerith mostly seems unbothered by this.
...Almost as if she's used to it. Similar to the way Cloud is equally used to visions of Sephiroth. They BOTH carry on with the conversation as though NOTHING has happened.
The game is explicitly showing you that both of these occurrences are seen as normal for these characters. Suggesting that they have actually been dealing with them for much longer than you would think.
Aerith has another Whisper attack. Cloud is once again very confused, until this happens:
Cloud's violation of #1 through contact with Aerith
Aerith touches Cloud.
We learn later that Aerith touching you gives you knowledge you're not supposed to have. Thus, Cloud is now in violation of Rule #1 -- Forbidden Knowledge. He can now observe whispers for the rest of the story.

Violation #2 Manipulating events by sharing forbidden knowledge from the lifestream

The Church Scene is a great example of this. In fact, most of the moments in Rebirth involve Aerith doing this to some degree.
The White Materia is explicitly the cause of the Whisper Attack in the church, and the game goes out of its way to make it very obvious.
Cloud Memory Static, this time it's Holy, not Jenova. (I don't have enough attachments to spell this out, so please go look at the scene after you read this.)
This is another VERY good example of Remake fucking with your head.

Aerith brings up her White Materia in conversation
Cloud looks at the back of Aerith's head. He has a memory static attack, and then immediately has a vision of the White Materia.
Cloud ignores this phenoemon, because things fucking with his head is completely normal to him. He doesn't skip a beat, and suggests Aerith just doesn't know how to use it.
Aerith playfully agrees.

The Red Herring here is obvious -- the vision of Aerith's Death. Yes, it was a vision of her death. But her death wasn't the important information the game was showing you in this scene. The White Materia was.
Regardless, the whispers did not intervene here, despite Cloud obviously glimpsing forbidden knowledge.
So why DID they intervene?
\"...Huh?\" - Cloud
Because Aerith couldn't keep her mouth shut.

She tells Reno that Cloud is her bodyguard. He isn't. Reno is.
She exposed that he was a Soldier. Reno explicitly does not like Soldiers.
She already knew that Cloud was doing mercenary work, and used this to persuade him.

Cloud told her none of this information. But it caught Reno's attention. And what was the result?

*Sizes Cloud up*

"Well, you're weird enough to be one."
\"What Class are you?\"
Reno doubts Cloud's Identity as a First Class Ex-Soldier. And Cloud violently reacts to protect it.
The whispers stopped Cloud from killing Reno, NOT because Reno survives in the OG game...but because Reno's life wouldn't even be at risk here if Aerith didn't instigate this fight.
And just like the Flower scene, Remake actually sets this one up with prior character information too. -- Cloud was shown from the beginning of the game to be prone to extreme violence. He would have also executed Johnny without Tifa's intervention. So we KNOW he would have killed Reno if the Whispers didn't intervene.
Hopefully you're beginning to see a pattern here.
Here is the most obvious example of this rule triggering the Whispers.
Aerith attempting to stop Barret from doing something....
In this scene, we see Aerith clearly knows something she isn't supposed to. She wants to share with Barret that killing the President isn't a good idea...And the whispers immediately appear, threatening her to stop. By this point, Aerith is beginning to become aware of why the whispers are harassing her so much.
I covered this scene in my last post, so I wont again...but this scene is crucial towards understanding what's happening in this game. Everyone should watch this scene again. Pay attention to what happens to Aerith the moment she says "Follow the Yellow Flowers". Aerith is clearly not herself as she says this. It's almost as if someone possessed her to say it. And the Whispers absolutely swarm her as a result.

Violation #3 -- When something foreign attempts to force its will on the lifestream

And here we go. The one that caused like 90% of the confusion in Remake. To be fair, this could only really be understood in hindsight after playing Rebirth.
There are many cases in Remake where the Whispers do something that seems...odd, given their explanations as arbiters of fate. Like attacking Sector 7, silencing Hojo, or literally helping Sephiroth at the end of the game. This is because although it's clearly whispers doing it...in Remake there is no visual indication of which Will any given Whispers serve -- The Planet, or Jenova's.
They all LOOK the same.
But they absolutely ARE NOT the same -- they are separate (black and white), just like in Rebirth.
But Remake included subtle clues as a nod to this reveal in Rebirth.
The Whisper Attack on Sector 7
This is another situation where you're expected to believe that the whispers are causing a ruckus because Cloud isn't going on the second bombing mission with Avalanche. Which is something we know he does in the OG game.
But that's just because we likely misinterpreted the clues that lead up to this moment that explain exactly why this is happening : The white whispers are attempting to correct the deliberate isolation of the main party by the black whispers.
A whisper is seen lurking around in Sector 7 the day before this happens. It's extremely easy to miss.
A whisper was present in Seventh Heaven. This was shown immediately after Barret told Cloud he wasn't on the next mission and has to leave.
See...if you're comparing Remake to the OG, then this whisper shown here is 100% going to force you to misinterpret what it's doing here.
In Seventh Heaven, multiple things happen that result in a break up of the entire main party.

Tifa is feeling anxious about the next mission. Jesse goes out of her way to voice concerns about her involvement, leading to her getting kicked off the team for the mission.
Jesse then tries to aim to get Cloud placed on the team instead. Barret refuses to do this because he "doesn't want the team leaning on him."
Barret pays Cloud, tells him he isn't wanted on the next mission, and kicks him out the bar.
A whisper will literally stop you from entering Seventh Heaven again after this happens to make sure you can't fix it.

The side mission with Jesse happens.....and then this.
A whisper with Sephiroth's voice trying to keep Cloud sleep
A Whisper with Sephiroth's voice approaches Cloud in the morning. He wants him to sleep through Barret, Jesse, and Biggs going on the mission. This would have likely isolated Barret, resulting in his death. Something Jenova tries again towards the end of the game.
She really does not want Barret to stay alive, because he is the glue of Avalanche, and the main reason the events of the story begin the way they do. Cloud also likely never would have met Aerith in the church.
Jenova's whispers are trying to prevent Cloud, Tifa, Aerith, and Barret from getting together. This event would have succeeded in separating all of them.
That's why the whispers are at war with one another.
The Black ones are trying to isolate you. The white ones are correcting their meddling.
The game even STOPS you mid-combat to bring attention to the fact that the Black Whispers are being exposed.
Black Whisper being made vulnerable by something external

You don't have to do anything to these whispers for this to happen.
The entire screen gains a Static Memory effect....as though Cloud is being shown the truth. He even comments on it.
After they go vulnerable, they become Black/Purple until they die.

They stop attacking after a whisper manages to isolate and injure Jesse, at which point the battle is over and all whispers leave.
And of course....there's most obvious example of this kind of massive violation from Remake....The Infamous Chapter 18.
But that's gonna have to wait for another post.
I'm out of attachments again.

TL;DR : FF7R is messing with your head.

Aerith using the White Materia in Remake is literally going through the events of the story the exact same way the player did -- with "forbidden knowledge" about how things are "supposed to be".
In Rebirth, the White Materia is empty. She no longer has knowledge of what's "supposed to happen", and thus has to accept that whatever happens, happens. This is why the "The Journey is Unknown." Not because the party killed the whispers, therefore the writers can do whatever they want. But because Aerith hid her knowledge of the future (Holy) from herself. She used to be able to know what was going to happen. Now she can't. The real Meta thing is that FF7R only really starts to make sense when you willingly abandon what you thought you already knew about the story. Those who look with clouded eyes see nothing but shadows.
Now go back through Remake with the new perspective and tell me that everything doesn't make way more sense.
Also, please tell me im crazy so I can stop writing these.
Otherwise, stay tuned for pt3 -- The Black Materia.
....Oh. One final hilarious mindblowing. Remember this?

This is where Remake starts to fuck with your head. They're using the same memory effect for two different characters, for two different reasons. But the result is essentially the same -- the characters involved are having their perception altered.
Remake does NOT distinguish between static caused by Holy or static caused by Jenova. They are treated equally in Remake.

Rebirth DOES distinguish the visual effects of memory alteration.
But only for the player.
Cloud still can't tell the difference.

submitted by Kaslight to FFVIIRemake [link] [comments]

2024.06.01 11:53 Controversational_9 Lost love

I guess I figured once I had this pen in my hand I’d know what it is I wanted to say. Because I know it’s there. Something heavy. But all I can tell you is it’s a feeling. It’s crazy how sometimes we don’t know how to place what we feel inside ourselves… or why. It’s not until someone mentions or points it out and identifies it for us that we understand. Maybe I just have a heavy heart. It just feels… misplaced. The feelings to big for my chest. It presses against my rib cage and that hurts. I can’t take a breathe without the fear that it might be my last. My heart feels like it might just stop beating… out of exhaustion… out of being ripped in half. Sometimes it makes me nauseous and I have to stay real still so I don’t get sick. But I get sick anyway. I’m not quite sure when it will pass, but right now I’m sure I’ll be this way forever. I’m not sure how to even begin to put one foot in front of the other much less, where I’m walking to. I doubt I will be ready to move on anytime soon. I have no idea how that part came so easily for you. And while I’m happy your not as heartbroken as I seem to be, thinking you have opened your heart to someone new so soon after losing me hurts even more. Maybe even the most. Damn. It’s as if someone is pouring acid in my chest. It makes me dizzy. Like the world is spinning in both directions…. I think I might get sick again. Wish I knew how to just make it stop…only for a moment. Long enough to catch my breathe. To catch you. But it’s only just begun so I just hang on…. The worst part is I can never tell you any of this. You’re not around for me to run to anymore. For you to comfort me and tell me to stop crying. That you love me and whoa whoa whoa heeeyyy breathe baby…..that it’s gonna be ok. I can’t bury my face in your chest and tell you I’m sorry……that I love you and I just need you to understand that IM NOT GOOD AT THIS…. That it’s all so new and I’m afraid…that I’m trying to figure out how to find my way in the dark with my eyes closed…… I never meant to make you not love me anymore. That now nothing even seems worth it. That all I needed was you. That I was giving it everything I had but hey, I always gotta fuck something up in the process. That I would give ANYTHING to go back and have it be anything else but YOU. That I can’t be ok unless I have YOU………. But it was you…… this time… I lost you. So now what? Does life really keep showing up after THAT? Did the sun and the moon and the stars not just see what happened?? How can they keep going when MY WHOLE WORLD just stopped…. And to look up and see that you keep going too….any life left inside me has lost its meaning. Every word…..every whispered promise…. Ripped away from me like I had stolen it….. like I never had any right to touch it in the first place. So here I am. Heavy heart. Shallow breathes. A world spinning in both directions. You….gone. And I’m alone in a foreign place with no idea how to move from this point. Which direction to go. Or where I’m even supposed to get to. So….. I tried to write you. Tried to see if maybe it was just my imagination or if I really lost the one thing that gave me a reason to believe maybe I do have wings…… maybe I really can fly…. But you took all the air with you, and I never had wings did I? If I did I couldn’t figure out how to spread them and let them carry me back to you. See, you’re the blood in my veins…. And I’m just an old song you’ve forgotten the lyrics to. But I hope you still hear me in your head sometimes..

submitted by Controversational_9 to LovelyLetters [link] [comments]

2024.06.01 11:43 Macaroni_Cheesiee 01.06.2024 Woke up at 11:10 Horrible sleep

Horrible sleep yet again, I feel so tired but my anxiety is keeping me up again. My stomach has this weird sensation in it. It feels like butterflies when I am on a rollercoaster.
My head also hurts, I don’t know why. It’s at the top of my head and I’m afraid that my arteries will get blocked by the cholesterol or they’re thinning ans I will get a brain aneurysm. Either way is horrible honestly. It’s at the top of my head which is a really odd place to feel pain in. I have had this sensation before, that was when I went off coffee for a day.
Maybe the veins are just expanding due to the lack of use of coffee today. Usually I drink it at 10 but I did not do that today. And coffee is known for making the walls more confined. It constricts them causing the blood pressure to elevate.
It’s not the sensation is just weird at the top of my head. Only at the top? Maybe I am dehydrated but I don’t see as hot how that would be the cause because I had water right before sleep. It’s a mild pulsation maybe I can just try to sleep it off?
I am still pissed by the way. Go fuck yourself.
Update: 11:51 No, I can feel my heartbeat through my brain veins now. Just great that is what I need after getting up to pee a f drink water. My mouth still feels very dry even though I drink a lot of water. It’s on one side now, on my left side where my forehead is. It’s pulsating and I can feel my heartbeat through that pulsation. I am tired, go fuck yourself.

submitted by Macaroni_Cheesiee to u/Macaroni_Cheesiee [link] [comments]

2024.06.01 11:28 JetSky81 The NBA eagerly awaits the arrival of Luka Doncic

Found this old article on Luka published before 2018 draft, give it a read if you have time.
Some interesting bits below.

I ask Doncic if he ever hears from NBA fans on social media. He nods, blushing again. "Some of them write 'Tank for Luka,'" he says. "I don't know. I just laugh." When he looks at their handles, he can tell they're from cities like Chicago, Orlando, Phoenix, Dallas -- places he's never seen
When he mentions that he closely follows the NBA, I ask him what goes through his head when he watches games, and he chuckles. "That could be me, crossed over!" He says he likes the pace of play and the prevalence of the pick-and-roll
His favorite players are LeBron James, Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving
He's enjoyed watching Ben Simmons. "I think we are, like, similar, you know?" he says. "He can play point guard, he can play forward. He can play a lot of stuff, like LeBron."
“I don't know any other European kid that plays at such a high level.” -Porzingis
While Doncic is exceptionally vibrant on the court -- his games are punctuated by raucous celebrations and passionate fits, one of which recently resulted in an expulsion -- he betrays little emotion off of it, especially when pressed to discuss his own accomplishments. He's quick to deflect serious inquiries with dry humor.
Igor Kokoskov, the Utah Jazz assistant who coached Slovenia, marvels at Doncic's precociousness. "Leadership and presence on the court -- you can't coach it,"

Source

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2024.06.01 11:25 moxieme2022 If you get so lucky as to get placed at IES Abastos...

I just finished my first (and only) Aux year at IES Abastos in Ciudad Valencia and am headed back to the US in a week and at that time I plan on disconnecting from all the Aux groups and moving on with my life, but before I go I wanted to leave a message here for any future Aux who may search for this school name when they get their placement...you are so damn lucky! Congratulations! (and if you want any additional information please respond to this post and I'll try to keep an eye out for notifications this summer).
It's an amazingly beautiful building right in the heart (!!!) of Valencia city, staffed with friendly and talented teachers and staff. It is an IES (high school) and an FP (vocational school--Computer (IT, web design, AI) and Business tracks. The teachers I worked with (in all of the above programs) all spoke excellent English. The administration is easy going but often super busy so if they forget to give you a printing card or computer login or bathroom key, just remind them ;-)and generous re scheduling, etc. They asked my preferred hours and I only worked 3 days (16 hours) a week, Tuesday-Thursday! 4 day weekends! Not promising they can do the same for you, but if they can they will. But the compromise for my compact schedule was that every class was a different group and/or subject, which was a lot to keep track of initially, prep-wise, but I learned you can often reuse/adapt the same lesson across different groups. I came to know the faces but alas not the names of the approx 200 students I saw each week.
The students were never disrespectful (not intentionally anyway--they ARE mostly adolescents though, so not paying attention or acting like, well, hormonal teens, is par for the course). There's a lot of projector use in the classrooms versus board work. Often the teachers will want you to come up with your own lesson plans (based on what they are covering or simply whatever you want) and yes, it can eat up several hours of your off time if you want to have fun with it (but it makes your work week so much more rewarding) but if occasionally you can't, they understand. You can always play pictionary or hangman or 20 questions or some other easily adapted game at a moments notice--I highly recommend building that skill. For example: oh, we are doing past tense vocabulary today and you want me to do something for 15 minutes at the end? I draw a tic tac toe grid on the board, quickly divide the class into teams (competition is popular!) and have one rep from each team come to the board and who ever can write the past tense of a particular word first gets to put their X or 0 in first, before the other team. Repeat until one team wins 3 in a row. Easy peasey.
FYI, I have posted some of the most rewarding lessons I did with my classes on the FB Auxiliary Secondary lesson planning (Madrid) group and I used several that others had posted there too. Check it out. No reason to reinvent the wheel.
This year the Valencia payments were consistently on time (around the 10th of the month, give or take a day, starting in November if you got your bank info submitted asap--I recommend N26 online bank). Housing can be competitive and spendy, expect to spend at LEAST 400 euros for a room (not an entire apartment) if you want to live relatively close to the school and it may take you awhile to find one (I have no personal advice to offer re: that as I used my savings to rent an adorable but expensive apartment to live on my own and host guests from home, I just know what other Auxes told me). Getting your TIE/toma de huellas appt will be a nightmare but just grin and bear it. The metro and bus system in the city is wonderful and I got a valenbici subscription vs purchasing a bike and made ample use of it and the protected bike lanes (there's a protected lane that goes directly to a valenbici bike station in front of the school!). There are several local Valencia Aux Whatsapp groups you should join (for info, Auxiliaries VLC 2022; for fun/meet ups, Valencian Kids) as well as local Whatsapp hiking groups (if you are so inclined to join amazing local hikes on the weekend).
Not gonna give a travel review of Valencia itself but suffice to say it is AMAZING! And Fallas! Oh.My.God. The first two weeks of March are INSANE! Enjoy!

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2024.06.01 11:10 GunzBlazein180 Crime and Addiction: The story of a rich white crackhead named Amy

You ever met a rich crackhead chick who’s parents bought her and her heroin addicted boyfriend a whole house, a new car, monthly allowance and seen it all come crashing down? This sounds like a fantasy, but it’s actually reality in the streets of Montgomery County, MD. This is the life of a rich crackhead named Amy.
Before I tell you about Amy, we gotta get the background first and go all the way back to 2021(if you want to skip and get right to Amy, just go to paragraph 11/12, but you’ll miss out on a lot). It’s the year 2021, I had just came back a couple months ago from pulling off EDD fraud. One day I was driving drop top mustangs in Malibu, the next I’m seeing my accounts get frozen and my money slowly begin to dwindle down. Before I knew it I was back in DC, broke and back to square one. Now from the time I was in Cali to the time I returned a lot of shit happened. I fell off with a lot of people, so I found myself hanging around an unusual crowd of people, the Bethesda kids.
You see before I dropped out of Towson University, I had met this nigga named LP, he was from Bowie and he went to school out Bethesda, but me and him got along because we had two things in common: we both liked DMV music, and we both liked to party our asses tf off. But that’s a story for another day.
You see LP put me on to a lot of people from Bathesda, I had never really hung around white folks before, and with the connections he gave me i made friends with a couple of crackas and even met my now deceased ex girlfriend. I was going to the craziest white functions and constantly turning up. But I saw more than a chance to have fun, saw this as a money making opportunity🤑 cha ching! And it was through LP that I met some friends who introduced me to a nigga named Swervy.
You see them white folks love to drink beer and smoke weed at parks, so one day I’m meeting up wit one of my good men, Ju. Ju is the typical school shooter typa fella, so it’s no surprise what I saw when I linked up with him at the spot. With him was this long haired European foreign exchange motherfucker whose name I forgot, and this bearded Eastern European nigga named Swervy, and he was wildin the fuck out. Mind you I’m from the projects, and all these bathesda niggas I’m meeting are rich ass motherfuckers who live in multi million dollar mansions. Keep in mind these cats may be rich, but everybody out bathesda is rich so these are basically the rejects. Pretty much the closest thing to a street nigga you can find out there.
As I’m getting introduced to some of these cats, Swervy pulls out a syringe. So I ask “Man wtf is this man doing,” “He’s shooting up fent” casually says Ju. That was the first time I ever witnessed someone shooting up a drug, and it wouldn’t be the last. Swervy would eventually become Amy’s boyfriend. And he was quite the yapper, he’s one of those motherfuckers who peaked in high school, and now he’s just watching his life come spiraling down, at least that is until he meets Amy…
In this meet up I learn a lot about Swervy. He was basically a kingpin at the age of 16-17. He would get shipments of 10’s of thousands of Xanax bars and sell them like hotdogs at a baseball game. These weren’t your regular junkies, these are the children of senators, buisness owners and lawyers. So you didn’t have to worry about a junkie saying he’ll pay you back, money was nothing to these crazy ass white folks. In the midst of all this yapping, I hear something that caught my attention.
“Yea so basically my cousins got like seven pounds of weed and 500gs of thc wax that they’ll give me if I can pick it up, it’s all the way in Arizona” Says Swervy.
🤑🤑🤑Cha mothafucking ching! This was the money I was talking about. Now driving cross country with pounds of weed and concentrate was risky, but shit I’d give my left nutsack for that kind of opportunity. And I might as well have, because a week later I was on my way to Tucson, with this Russian speaking drug addict I had just met the other day. Mind you I’m driving around in a red Lancer, with paper Vermont tags that I had printed online. I might as well Have went up to the police station and asked any of them if they wanted to buy drugs. My young naive dumbass didn’t realize the risk, all I was thinking about was 🤑🤑🤑 cha Ching!
I can sit here all day and tell you about that drive to Arizona, but imma keep it short and simple so we can get to this Amy chick. It was a fucking disaster, but we end up somehow making it back. We got the pounds and the concentrate, but it was all fucking shake! I’d be lucky to sell that shit for $100 a zip. Anyways, the trip opened my eyes to something, this nigga Swervy was a crashout crackhead dummy, and if I continue hanging out with him I was gonna end up dead or in jail. So I begin distancing myself, as I watched this man throw his life away from a far.
Now months go by, and at this point I’m like the street life ain’t for me and I’m working a job, I got a girlfriend and I’m staying low and just cooling it, with these pounds of weed that was so garbage, I was giving it away like charity donations. I had that goodwill pack! Just as things settle down that’s when Swervy comes back in contact with me. You see last time I had linked him, this man was overdosing off fent and we had to drive him to the hospital and save his life. But to my surprise, he was a changed man, or at least that’s what I thought...
He now has this girlfriend and he lives with her in germantown. You see me I’m baffled and curious, what crazy bitch would date this crazy motherfucker who’d probably sell his soul for one shot of heroin? I just had to find out. And when I met Amy I just didn’t know what to say. She was in her 30s and Swervy and me were in our early twenties. Amy was this slim, blonde hair, blue eyed Czechoslovakian chick who stood at about 5’7”. She wasn’t attractive by no means, you can tell the drugs did it’s toll on her, but if you’re drunk enough she can probably look fuckable. She had her degree in psychology from UMBC, but don’t be fooled her brain seemed like it was long fried. A conversation with her felt like a trip to the mental asylum. You will have better luck deciphering ancient Egyptian hyrogriphics before you can make sense of a word she says. Regardless I genuinely tried to get to know her. My guess was at some point in life she must’ve took a full sheet of acid and never recovered since. But she had her own two bedroom condo with a view of Sugarloaf mountain, a Pomeranian dog(which Swervy fucking hated), and a new jeep. So regardless I was impressed this crackhead motherfucker managed to bag her. So I asked him “Where did you find this shawty?” “At a hookah lounge in Rockville” he told me. That’s right folks, a fucking hookah lounge. Boi when I tell you after that, I was hitting up hookah spots like I had season tickets!
So I’m hanging out with them a lot now basically third wheeling, but Germantown was a long ass motherfucking drive, and I lived at the borderline to DC so I would even spend some nights in their guest bedroom. This Amy chick had parents that paid for her gas money and food, they had a fireplace and a balcony. And I can enjoy the comfort of all this as long as I occasionally bring some weed to smoke. And me I’m not one of those leeching ass bums, so the only time I’m hanging out with them is when I’m invited. And I got invited a lot, probably because Amy’s a bit cuukoo and Swervy had either robbed or scared off all his friends from Bathesda. He wanted someone to give him a break from her, a bro he can drink a beer with. So I would often times accompany them. One time we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and as I sit across from both of them Amy begins playing footsies with me under the table. Of course I play it cool. I had no interest in her, mainly because Swervy hits raw and takes hepatitis medication, also having witnessed this man hold a bunch of homeless niggas at gunpoint in broad day light after I lost my phone at this gas station in Arizona. I can only imagine how he would react if he found out I smashed his girl.
A lot of the times I hung out with them, me and Swervy would talk about Amy. You see he’s not the type to hold back certain information, and as he’s telling me about his life and relationship that’s when it hit me. A nigga like me grew up all my life, with the world constantly kicking my ass and in a whole different realm of this life shit, you got these two rich kids who fucked up their life so much with so little consequences it became a culture shock to me. Me I caught a case and felt like my life was over, these two white people are disfunctional jobless drug addicts and they’re living the life I could only dream of having with years of hard work. I began to question the world, how many are there like this? Was my life a joke? I didn’t know where I was going hanging out with them, but if I couldn’t live the good life, I could at least witness it from the front row. I learned one thing about their relationship, Amy was basically getting old and low on options, and her parents supported her. Why? Because she’s not running around getting dicked down by a bunch of drug dealing black men anymore. Here they see this young white man, who’s also Eastern European who makes their highly mentally damaged daughter feel secure. And Swervy could win an Oscar, I mean what a fucking performance! One second he goes from Angus Cloud on Euphoria, the next a good suburban white kid the second he meets her parents. In fact he had convinced them that he was such a good man, even went to family gatherings and all, that they decided, let’s just buy them a full blown house.
That’s right, a FULL FUCKING HOUSE. I’m talking about a three story townhouse in Germantown, with a fully furnished basement, a patio, a balcony, a grill, 4 bedrooms, a 70 inch television, a paid off brand new fully insured jeep, they’re talking about trips to Italy. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Fool, are we living in a simulation? I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Swervy had pulled off the ultimate finesse. He convinced this rich family that he was the one for their daughter. And the most hilarious thing about it is that he was no better than a crackhead heroin junkie you can find panhandling for money on the street. I couldn’t even be envious, no instead I had felt something inside of me, this sort of toxic motivation. I learned that you didn’t have to work hard in this life, you didn’t have to earn your living, no instead one day God can just drop this lonely damaged woman who’s family is fucking loaded right on your fucking lap. He was even talking about marrying her and having her kids. In fact he tried, but see he had a problem. His sailors couldn’t fucking swim. Maybe it was all the crack, cocaine and heroine. He was having trouble producing fertile sperm, and Amy was running out of time! And that was the peak of their relationship. He was this close to closing the deal, but when it was game time he fell short. All it is now is one of those memories in your head that’ll have you like “damn, what if…” almost like when you reminisce on a football game thinking about how things could’ve been different if that one play went right.
Look I’ll be honest, I sugarcoated a lot of things. They may have lived in a world of handouts, but that relationship was more toxic than a nuclear wasteland. There’s a lot of fucked up details that I’m choosing to leave out, the psychical and mental abuse from both sides, the drug use. He was a psychopath and she was controlling and halfway demented. There’s a saying “opposites attract” and these two motherfuckers were far from it. They were two trains headed on a full on collision, so it was only a matter of time before disaster struck, and boy did it strike. Within a year I had witnessed a once fun relationship, become episodes of Shameless. At one point we fell off, I don’t remember exactly why, probably because I was tired of constantly being involved in their nasty games, and once again I distanced myself from Swervy.
The last I heard of Amy, she had kicked Swervy out the house and he caught her giving the sloppy toppy at a local park to 3 guys. Some hoodlum niggas, and a skater dude with a face tatt. The last time I seen Swervy he was arms dealing and one day pulled out an AR-15 on me and threatened to shoot me. I heard he’s now locked up currently awaiting trial because he broke into her home. I have a feeling one day I’ll see him on the news with a crazy headline.
Anyways if you’re a real mothafucka, you made it all the way here. If you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions ask away. If you didn’t feel like reading all that shit then fuck you bitch!

submitted by GunzBlazein180 to stories [link] [comments]

2024.06.01 11:07 Harry_is_white_hot The USS Curtiss USO incident: that time the U.S. Navy ship delivering the hydrogen bomb for the Castle Bravo test was shadowed by an Unidentified Submarine Object in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

The USS Curtiss USO incident: that time the U.S. Navy ship delivering the hydrogen bomb for the Castle Bravo test was shadowed by an Unidentified Submarine Object in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Inspired by Rear Admiral Tim Gallaudet’s (Ret.) recent discussions on USOs, I thought I would relate the following. Just over 70 years ago, an interesting incident occurred on board the USS Curtis – the U.S. Navy vessel tasked with delivery of the Shrimp device to the Pacific Proving Ground in 1954 for the notorious Castle Bravo nuclear weapons test. This particular test, which scientists from Los Alamos and Lawrence Livermore laboratories had calculated to have a yield of 4,8 megatons actually went far above this calculation to achieve nearly 16 megatons of TNT equivalent yield. This miscalculation exposed many U.S. military personnel to dangerous levels of radiation and, more importantly, post traumatic stress disorder from being exposed to the close-range effects of such a large blast. Was the USO incident related to the yield miscalculation event?
USS Curtiss (AV-4)
The Curtiss class were the first seaplane tenders built from the keel up for the US Navy, the previous tenders had been converted from cargo ships. They were designed to provide command facilities for forward operating long-range patrol seaplane squadrons. To accomplish this, they were heavily armed with four 5-inch (130 mm)/38 caliber dual-purpose guns, and contained repair and maintenance facilities, along with supplies for operating in forward areas for many months.
The ships had a large seaplane deck located at the stern with the maintenance shops located in the superstructure just forward of it. They were built with three large cranes, one located at the starboard extreme of the stern, the second was at the aft of the superstructure on the port side, with the remaining crane located midship on the starboard side. The starboard crane at midship was removed from both ships during WWII and replaced with a 20-millimeter (0.79 in) Oerlikon cannon gun tub. Two of the 5-in guns were staggered on opposite sides of the rear superstructure, with the remaining two in a superfiring configuration at the bow of the ships.
From 23 February to 13 June 1951, Curtiss served as flagship for "Operation Greenhouse" and was the base for civilian and military technicians during the atomic tests at Eniwetok. She also provided meteorological information and operated a boat pool. Curtiss served at San Diego, in local operations until 29 September 1952, when she again sailed to Eniwetok, as flagship during the atomic tests of "Operation Ivy", during which the first hydrogen bomb was detonated. Returning to San Diego, on 4 December, she cruised the west coast, and visited Acapulco, Mexico, in 1953. From 10 January to 28 May 1954, she participated in "Operation Castle".
Rather than write about the USO event, I will post verbatim the eyewitness accounts of two U.S. Marines onboard the USS Curtiss – Robert Mackenzie and G. Nicholas Stuparich.
First, a little background from Mackenzie and Stuparich regarding their duties on the Curtiss:
Mackenzie: So all the guys that got a clearance, we went as a group on the Curtiss. Now we knew where it was going but we really didn’t know what we were going to do.
Interviewer : OK, so after the fact, at some point you know that you’ve gotten a clearance.
Mackenzie: We didn’t know that until we were already halfway on the cruise. And the way we found out is that some of the men were called in and they were told they didn’t get a Queen Clearance. They got top secret but they didn’t get Queen. And it was no fault of theirs, Mary. Some of them, if they had one relative that was born in another country and something, they just couldn’t get one.
Interviewer: Correct. Correct. So “Q” stands for “Queen.” Yes. Or is “Queen” something you make from “Q”? I wonder. I’ve never—
Mackenzie: Well, “Q” must be “Queen,” I guess. Yes. It must be.
Interviewer: You guys said “Queen,” though, when you said clearance.
Mackenzie: Yes. Yes. And it’s a Queen Clearance, yes. And they’re still around, I understand.
.
Mackenzie: And I tell you why, is that when I went aboard ship, they made me an orderly, which was a great honor. And so I was the admiral’s orderly, and before that I was the captain’s orderly. In fact, by the time I was aboard the Curtiss for eighteen months, I worked as an orderly for three admirals and two ship’s captains and the executive officer, which was a great background for a young man. And I have the highest regard for naval officers. I watched them talk to their men, I watched them talk to their fellow officers, I saw how they solved problems, and just what a great example for a young man, to be around people of that caliber. It was wonderful.
Interviewer: Let me ask you a question here because I don’t know that much about the armed forces. The Curtiss is obviously a Navy ship.
Mackenzie: Yes.
Interviewer: And you’re a Marine serving on it. Is that common?
Mackenzie: No. It’s only in capital ships, normally, which would be battleships— Interviewer: “Capital ships.”
Mackenzie: Capital ships, which would be—the terminology has changed today, Mary, but in my day it was battleships, cruisers, heavy cruisers, light cruisers, aircraft carriers, would have Marine detachments. Now originally the Marine detachments were almost the police force of the ship. And they were called MAs, which would be Master-of-Arms. Very unpopular with the Navy. And the brig is, of course, run by the Marines. But on our ship, we didn’t have those duties, not on the Curtiss. The Curtiss, we were a special force with top secret clearances. People only didn’t talk to us because they would say, Hey, you don’t talk to those guys. It was that kind of thing. So anyway, but we ended up being very close with the Navy, but our duties, we didn’t talk to each other about our duties.
Stuparich: So, I remember signing the clearance papers and they didn’t tell us what we were going to do or where we were going. We went aboard ship as supposedly just a Marine detachment, but then it ended up being as nuclear security. We were well briefed and well trained on what our jobs were aboard ship. I did security with the devices, once they were delivered to the vessel. We did perimeter security when the devices were being delivered, which meant we were out on the pier and out in the area when the trucks arrived, delivering units. Once the canisters were brought aboard, then we were assigned to security aboard the ship, which meant working in the hole. In other words, the devices were put in a particular compartment. We were responsible for the security of that department, the corridor that led to it, and I can’t remember if we were reading the temperature. We had to take a reading, I believe, once an hour and record it. I do not remember whether it was temperature or radiation, but it had to be recorded; I remember that if there was something wrong, and I don’t know the standard, but if it went over that standard or under that standard, we had to notify the science officer, who was also the engineering officer. That was Commander Hart, I believe.
Interviewer: Now, let me back up just a tiny bit with the security piece. So there’s a point at which you’re informed, I assume after you’re cleared, of what your mission actually is?
Stuparich: Correct.
Interviewer: Give me a sense of how much detail they give you there, and how much that is connected to what you already might know about nuclear weapons.
Stuparich: That’s a little bit confusing because I know so much more now than I did then. I do not believe they gave us that much information. They definitely didn’t give us a detailed description of our duties, other than that what we were doing was actually guarding a nuclear device, and that’s all they would say. We and I think about a half-a-dozen sailors were the only ones that actually saw the canisters being brought aboard. There were not very many people. That was secured. The whole aft deck was secured when that occurred.
Interviewer: And how many of there were you, when you say “we”?
Stuparich: There were probably six Marines on the dock, one or two on the trucks, then I think there were a couple in the different corridors—what they did was they dogged the hatches so people couldn’t come in when we were loading this particular material. Then it went down into the hole and then there was a special rack because the canisters had to be triced up in these racks. I can’t remember whether there was—I think there were six to a rack. And they were triced up like you would trice up nitroglycerine, you know, with like Bungee cords but I think they were springs.
Interviewer: Say that word again. I don’t know that word “trice.”
Stuparich: Tricing means to tie, and what it does is it keeps something in balance so that if it’s hanging, it’s free-hanging, but it’s in a rack, and this keeps the canister in line, and it’s called trice, you trice it up.
Interviewer: “Trice it up.” I see.
Stuparich: We didn’t do that. That was done by their people.
Stuparich: We embarked out of San Diego, went up to San Francisco. That’s it. We went to San Francisco, went to Hunters Point for something, some sort of refurbishing. Then from Hunters Point we went over to Port Chicago, picked up our merchandise, if you will, and then when we were through with that, when we pulled out, we went down and then into the bay. At that time we picked up some escorts, and then we went under the Golden Gate Bridge, at which time the Secret Service or FBI, whoever they were, had the bridge closed, and they were waving at us as we went underneath.
Interviewer: Wow, they closed the bridge.
Stuparich: They closed the Golden Gate Bridge. It was kind of cool because being from the Bay Area I kind of remembered that. I think I was aft at the time and I was looking up and yeah, sure enough, they did. And that was kind of interesting. So then we headed out to the Pacific. I think we refueled and resupplied once or twice, a ship came alongside, I think they came out of Hawaii. They used the high line and brought the stuff across, and then they brought the refueler up and then they refueled us. And that’s why they call us the Ghost Ship, because almost everything that we did, the replenishing and the refueling, was all done at sea.
Now, the USO incident – which many people denied having happened. The "Russian sub" somehow penetrated the flotilla protecting the Curtiss and was completely undetected until it appeared underneath the Curtiss. This event occurred a full 6 years before the Soviet's first nuclear submarine set sail - so for a diesel powered submarine in the middle of the Pacific without logistic support this feat would have been incredibly difficult to accomplish.
Stuparich Account:
Stuparich : The other thing that really upset me was the submarine.
Interviewer: Yes, talk to me about that a little bit.
Stuparich : Well, Robert Mackenzie was the admiral’s orderly that night, and I was the orderly on the next deck down, and my job was to protect the crypto room which was, if you were looking down the hall, was to the left, and then the CIC which was straight ahead.
Interviewer: CIC is?
Stuparich : Is Central Intelligence Control or something like that. It’s an area where they plot everything. [Note: on board U.S. Navy ships, the CIC is the Combat Information Center] Anyway, I was standing there and all of a sudden Commander Hart came running around the corner and said, “Come with me”, with that I was on alert. So we went into CIC and then there was—I stood at the door. He said, “Block the door”, and I blocked the door. And it was one of those combination doors in those days. And I saw him talking with an officer, with the officer in command of the CIC at the time, or duty officer, I guess is what you call him, and then they were really—I could tell they were really stressed about something. Then a chief electronics mate had taken the young man off of the board and they were looking at the board and plotting on the board something, and he got on the phone to the bridge. I immediately felt the ship changing course, and we immediately started into a zigzag situation. And then I could tell, this man was stressed, and I’d never seen him stressed like that before. This way, that way. Everything was very staccato. So went back up to the bridge and Mackenzie and the Admiral were already there. And as a young man, you’re looking at their body language and their facial features and we knew that there was something wrong. Well then, I heard the conversation, and they wanted to know, in profanity, how the son-of-a-b*tch got there. How did it get there? How did it get through the perimeter? So then they were communicating with the vessels that were on the perimeter, there were destroyers out there and everything else, and they couldn’t figure it out. Admiral Wellings said, I believe that’s he’s probably been sitting here waiting for us. He probably plotted our course and just dropped to the bottom and waited till we came by, and then he came up underneath us. And he just followed us, and it was just a Russian sub, is what we anticipated. And they figured that they knew it was a Russian sub. Yeah. And it did. It stayed with us. And then what really became scary is that I remember the admiral telling the captain, We don’t have to worry if he’s directly under us. If he drops back into firing range, then we have to worry. By then, the other ships were doing crisscrosses in front and in back of us. These are the little destroyers. And sure enough, he did, he dropped back, I don’t know how far, I remember they had it plotted, and he was within firing range. And so then I just, I don’t know, something really bothered me and really happened to me mentally, because I just said [to myself], this whole thing’s over now, we’re through, we’re done with. And I guess I kind of convinced myself that that was going to happen.
Interviewer: And this is prior to arriving in the Pacific.
Stuparich: Yeah, we were on our way.
Interviewer: So, just to get a sense of it, you’re well aware of what you’ve got on board?
Stuparich : Oh yeah, because I’d already been down in the hole and they’d told us what it was. Yeah, and then you’ve got a— Got this sub, and believe it or not, not very many people knew about it. I mean surprisingly, people were telling Bob [Robert W. Mackenzie] he was crazy. You don’t know what you’re talking about. There was no submarine. Well, I know there was. And when I mentioned it to Bob last year he said, Thank God somebody else knows. And what we’re trying to do is find a third Marine who was on the bridge, but there may not have been a Marine on the bridge.

Mackenzie account:
Interviewer: So explain to me how much you knew about the mission or what you thought or what’s that like?
Mackenzie : We didn’t know anything about it, frankly. You know, I realized that it was more than just a mission. Now by that time, Mary, the Korean War was over with. We were steaming out in ’54? Yes, January of ’54 is when we left San Diego. And Korea had been over for about six months, but the Cold War was extremely hot then. And when I first realized that there was more going on than we realized is when we had full wartime conditions on the ship. And I’d thought, Well, what are we doing here? The ship’s all blacked out at night. We’ve got all these red lights on you see in the movies, like those submarine movies, everybody running and all those red lights on at night. And heavy, heavy drapes in front of every hatch. And you don’t go outside, or as they say, out on the decks without closing that, and then you open the hatch and a red light comes on, then you close the hatch. And they were conscious of sound, of lights. And I said, What’s going on here? You know. And so when I really realized there was more going on is when I was on orderly duty for the admiral. And I was on duty and on duty and on duty and I just couldn’t stand up anymore. So I called somebody in the Marine detachment and said, Well, when is my relief going to be here? It was real late at night, it was like eleven or twelve o’clock, I’d gone on that morning at 6:30, and I’d been standing all day long. That’s what you do. And I just got so I couldn’t stand anymore. So I called down and I was told that the admiral only wanted me and there would be no relief, So just stick it out, Mackenzie. I wasn’t real happy about that. But anyway, so—and I’ll put this right on tape—so a Marine never sits down on duty, but I did. I couldn’t stand up anymore. So I found a chair in an empty officer’s stateroom and I wedged that chair in a real narrow hallway that went into the admiral’s quarters, and I put my feet against the bulkhead and I rocked back and I just kind of rocked with the ship. At least I was off my feet, and I figured nobody could get by me. So I guess, I don’t know if I dozed off or what, but all I know is this sailor was shaking my arm. It was about 2:30, three o’clock in the morning. And he says, “Wake up the admiral! Wake up the admiral!” And I said,”Well, who are you? What do you mean, wake up the admiral? It’s three o’clock in the morning.” [And he said], “Oh, they want him on the bridge right now”. And I said, “Who wants him on the bridge?” [And he said], “Well, the officers, blah, blah, and all that”. I said, “Well, what is your name?” And he gave me his name, and I said, “What’s the officer’s name?” I really realized we were very, very conscious and were trained to be suspicious of everything. I don’t know who this guy is. He wants to go in and see the admiral? That’s my job. Nobody goes in to see the admiral. And so anyway I said, “Well, I’ll go wake up the admiral and you go back and report to the bridge, and I’m sure the admiral will be right there”. I didn’t want him to go in with me. And so anyway, he left. So now I’m saying, How do you wake up an admiral? You know. I wanted to do it maybe like I was back in back in boot camp and scream, say, “Hit the deck”! I says, well, no, I didn’t want to go to the brig, so I didn’t do that. So anyway I said, Well, how do you wake up an admiral? So anyway, I woke him up. And I remember he said, “What is it, Mackenzie?” And he was startled. And I said, “Sir, the admiral’s presence is requested on the bridge immediately”. You don’t want to say “immediately” to an admiral, but I did. Anyway, he looked at me, and he had a phone right next to his bunk. And I always wondered, if he had phone, why didn’t they just call him? I don’t know. You know, you would wonder. And so anyway, he picked up his phone. And like I said, the respect from the naval officers, they’re just really something, Mary, they really are. And so he went up on the deck with his blue terrycloth bathrobe on.
Interviewer: He picks up the phone and confirms?
Mackenzie: Right. And then he puts on his blue bathrobe— He doesn’t even get dressed. Oh no. They want him right now [sound of fingers snapping]. So I thought, Whoo, something’s going on. So I go up there, and it was like an old World War II movie. At my age, I grew up with those World War II movies, you know. And on the bridge, all the lights are out because we’re running at wartime conditions at night, and you can just see the shadows, you know, and those were from the glowing of the instruments and the people moving around the bridge and all that. And right away, the officer in charge of the bridge came up, and everybody was whispering. I thought, What is all this whispering about? You know. And he was talking to the admiral. And that’s part of the job of being an orderly. You’re there but you don’t get too close because if you do—
Interviewer: You’ll hear?
Mackenzie: You don’t want to hear. And the admirals will let you know, and so will the captains. If you’re a little too close to them, they’ll give you one of those, turn their head around, you kind of back up. You realize you’re a little too close. They want to be guarded. They don’t want anybody to get them. That’s your job is to protect them, help them in any way you can, so forth. But anyway, and you’ll kind of back up. But I wanted to hear what was going on, you know. So then all I heard was “submarine.” I thought, Well, so what? You know. But anyway, it turns out that we were being shadowed by a Russian sub.
Interviewer: For real?
Mackenzie: For real. And the sub was directly under us [slaps hands together] like this. And they picked it up. Because I thought, well, how did it get through our screen? We were in a complete convoy, and we had carriers, we had destroyers, we had everything. And I thought, How did this guy get through all that? And they tell me what they do is they know where you’re going. They just sit down at the bottom and wait till you get there and just [slapping hands together] pop up. They don’t have to go through any screens. And I said, Oh.
Interviewer: Oh. So they know from –
Mackenzie: Sure, they know. Yes. They probably knew, with all the spies and all that.
But anyway, the admiral asked several questions, and I guess before, he asked them if they had contact with somebody. And they said,”No, sir, we thought we’d wait for the admiral”, and all that. And he said, “Well, you should’ve. Did you contact anybody to tell them what the situation was? How have you tried to contact the sub?” Evidently they have an international language they use. Then of course they used Russian and they used everything, and no response. And so I always was kidding Kari because this was dramatic, you know. I always said, Whooo, thirty seconds from World War III. Well,
that’s the way you think of it later, but it’s very true. But the thing that I still remember today is when the admiral walked on the bridge, you get almost like this, your daddy had come home to save you or something. That man had a presence about him. He wasn’t tall in stature. And his name was [RADM H.C.] Bruton. I’m sure he’s gone now. But he walked on that bridge and all of a sudden, you could just—everybody, like, The admiral’s here, we’re going to be all right. You know. And you could feel that. And he asked just a few questions. And the sub, and they were waiting for the reply to come back, Do we take action? Do we take evasive action? Now it’s pretty hard to blow up a submarine when it’s right under you. What do you do, when you think about it? How do you get a sub from under us? But we had submarines with us, too, our subs. And so it came back, they were waiting for the reply to come back, and I thought, My God, this is more serious than I realized. You know, it was kind of like a game until then, you know, it was just wartime conditions. I mean we didn’t think anything about this kind of stuff. And so we knew security was extremely tight. Only certain people could go by us, then go into certain compartments, and I’ll tell you about that in a minute. But anyway, back to the sub. And so it broke away. And you know you say “broke away,” where’d it go? It just broke away. And the admiral, they said—sonar reported or whatever and said, The sub has broken away. They must’ve known how many seconds they had. Later I saw a Tom Clancy movie about that, where they were checking and there were seconds and all, and I said, My golly, I saw the same thing in 1954, except for real, you know. So they said it broke away, and the admiral just calm as could be and he says, Carry on, men, you did a good job. If you need me, call, and he went back and went to bed. And I said [to myself], My gosh, it was almost—it was like nothing to him. He was so in command, just knew what he was doing, asked the right questions, congratulated everybody for the job they did, and went back to bed. Now I’m wide awake. I didn’t sit down anymore for the rest of the night. But I never told any of the guys about it. I just told that guy, one of our fellow Marines, November the tenth. It was the Marine Corps birthday. We all got together here at Dana Point. And I told him the submarine story and he says, “What submarine?” I said, “The submarine”. He said,” Well, I didn’t know anything about any submarine.” And I remembered, I’d thought about it, “Well, why should I worry the guys?” And not only that, if something happened when I was on orderly duty, you don’t pass that around the ship. That’s a confidence between you and the admiral. And so I didn’t pass it on.
Interviewer: I have a couple of questions about this. You’re aware in real time, then, that it is a submarine.
Mackenzie: Absolutely. Because you’re hearing the conversation.
Interviewer: Right. It makes me wonder, as I’m listening to the story, if they had you on duty for all this time, would there have been some knowledge of some kind of danger, that they didn’t let you leave orderly duty? Do you make a connection between the fact that the sub was there and the fact that you had to be on duty for so long? That makes you wonder.
Mackenzie: Well, I don’t know. It does, Mary. I never thought about it that way. I don’t think so. I just really think the reason I was left on duty so long is that we were new at our jobs, and they just didn’t realize that when you’re on orderly duty, you’re attached [slapping hands together], you know, at the hip. And not only that, is the admiral doesn’t want to walk out and say, What’s your name? You know, he wants somebody that he can trust and could read him before he says it. I could tell what he wanted. He was looking around and so I call somebody and say, Hey, the skipper’s out of coffee. You better get some in there. See? So you’re his confidant. He’ll say, Well, how are the men thinking? Because he’s some concerned about the morale, or whatever. So you’re his sounding board. Every admiral’s different. Some really use their orderlies. I’ve had admirals when I reported, they’d say, “Well, I’m a little low on cigars, Mackenzie. Why don’t you go down and get me cigars?” Well, I don’t say, ”What kind do you smoke?” So I’d go down and ask the guy to open up the place where you buy the cigars, what’d we call that? Commissary, I think. And they used to question it. And they’d just say, “Well, you sure these are the kind of cigars you smoke, Mackenzie?” And I said, “These are for the skipper.” And he said, “I don’t think so”. And I said, “Really? Why don’t you call and ask him?” [And he’d say], “Oh, OK”. And so that kind of a thing. So, interesting. But anyway, I never did pass that submarine story on to the troops.
Interviewer: That’s so interesting. That’s interesting.
Mackenzie: And so then, now, as time goes by, Mary, as I watch the History Channel and Discovery Times Channel, all these things are coming back to me. And our main concern was frogmen. We were very afraid of frogmen. And so we figured if they came aboard the ship, how they’d come aboard the ship, what we would do, you know, if one did come on. But I never thought about mines or bombs attached to the ship, and now I think about it. Can you imagine if they could’ve got to our ship, and we had people on their like [J. Robert] Oppenheimer and had all those scientists on there? We had fifty-eight scientists on the ship. We had all the bombs on the ship. I mean what a coup that’d meant for the Russians if our ship accidentally sunk, hit a reef or something, or something went off. You know, you can just see it all right now. It’d be another Cold War incident.
Interviewer: But you don’t know that you’re carrying bombs at this point, or do you?
Mackenzie: Yes, we did. We knew we were carrying pieces of the bombs.
Interviewer: You did.
Mackenzie: Yes. Yes. Because security was so tight, it had to be something like that, when only the admiral and two or three people could go in there. And then we timed them, how long they were in, who they were with, they signed in, they signed out. They had a badge with their photograph on it. The badges were made by, at that time, the Atomic Energy Commission [AEC], and they were watermarked with all the same intensity and security as our money. And the admiral would have his picture on there. And I didn’t just look on his shirt. I had to take it off his shirt, which you don’t like to touch an admiral or a captain. It’s just this—you’ve got that—this little [feeling] like, “Hi, God”- that feeling. And you’d take off his badge like that and hold it up right next to his face, make sure you got a really good look at it, and you’d flip it over and check the watermarks, check the number on it. And when I was on, I’d have a check-off list, and his name better be on there. In fact, our own commanding officer forgot to put his name on there and our guys wouldn’t let him in the post. He said, ”What do you mean?” They said, “You’re not on the list, sir.” [And he said], “Well, you know who I am. I’m Captain [James] Brannaman, your commanding officer.” [They] say, “Sir, we been instructed, if your name isn’t on the list, you don’t get on this post”. And the guys loved doing it to him. He wasn’t real happy but.
Interviewer: Oh, I’m sure. Who was this captain again?
Mackenzie: Captain Brannaman. He’s still alive. Stanford graduate. Super sharp guy. About six-five or so, something like that. Nice man.
Interviewer: I’m not well-versed in military things. Is it usual for an admiral to be on the ship?
Mackenzie: No. Now the admiral on any operation, the admiral has what he calls his flagship, and he can change his flag when he wants. The Curtiss was an unusual ship, Mary, because it was designed as a seaplane tender, 1939, something like that. It was hit at Pearl Harbor, went all the way through World War II, ended up with seven battle stars. Then after that, the Atomic Energy Commission grabbed it and then converted it for all the testing. So the Marine captain isn’t like a Navy captain. What’s confusing to everybody, and it was to me, too, the captain of the ship, the Navy ship, doesn’t have to be a captain. That’s his job title. OK, and now the Marine captain is a captain and he’s in charge of the Marines.
Interviewer: So this is the Marine captain you’re talking about.
Mackenzie: The Marine captain, right.
Interviewer: Got it. Not the captain of the ship.
Mackenzie: Not the ship captain—that’s right.

The full transcripts of the two interviews can be found here:
Interview with Robert William Mackenzie, January 1, 2005 UNLV Special Collections Portal

Interview with G. Nicholas Stuparich, Jr., October 18, 2006 UNLV Special Collections Portal

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2024.06.01 11:06 createdjustforthis23 01/06/2024

I had a proper lil lie in today. A laaaazy one. He is right, I do get extra tired this time of the month. I feel like my PMS’iness goes on for too long, like I still don’t have it? It truly feels like an extending cycle? Like the last three months below:

23 February - 27 February
29 March - 02 April
02 May - 05 May

So maybe mine will start around the 5th of June? Guess we’ll see.
I feel miserable today.
I was stupidly thinking some more and I think it’s more about the fact that for as long as I remember I have wanted to be that person for whichever guy I ended up with. I wanted him to think k was just the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, I know how naïve that is but I am a daydreamy girl who reads books and loves romance, so I was always going to head this way. And I think it’s just that coming to terms with the fact I won’t ever be that for someone. That’s not on him in the slightest, I’m not even 1% upset with him - this isn’t a him thing it’s a me thing, as per usual. But I think it’s just one of those things where I have dreamed about something since I was a tiny little girl and I’m now having to finally accept I’ll never have it. And when my self worth/self esteem is is already so low it’s just… I don’t know. It takes a toll. It’s all self inflicted I know. It’s just all I’ve ever wanted or cared about is my forever man and relationship - it’s all I’ve ever dreamed of, well no but it’s the one thing I’ve always wanted and dreamed about more than anything else. And I’ve never wanted to accept anything less, and I’m not saying Andy is less because he absolutely is not less, I’m saying that I have to accept less in terms of what I mean to him and how he sees me. This has nothing to do with how he shows care/love/whatever for me, none of this is about him - I could end up with anyone and I would most likely still be disappointed and my dream would shatter before my eyes. This is purely me having entirely unrealistic expectations. And it’s just time to work to accept the fact I’m not dazzling or gorgeous or beautiful and the fact he will quite easily look away from me etc etc - I should have worked to accept this earlier, as soon as I realised I’m not any of these things. But I think it’s just that tiny sliver of hope that even if I don’t see myself that way or any others, maybe there would be one man out there that does. But I should have known full well I was setting myself up for failure and disappointment so again, this is entirely a me issue. I keep saying this over and over because I just feel like the most horrid girl alive thinking and feeling this way and I feel like I’m being horrid to him when I really don’t mean to be? Anyway. I am pretty at best to him and that’s what I need to learn to accept.
The other night he said something along the lines of how I’m “prettier” than most of his exes or something? While I have always known his exes would be better than me even though I don’t know them from a bar of soap, but I’ve always just known, y’know? But it’s one thing to know and another to be told. At this rate I don’t even know why he’s with me, or wants to be with me. He can clearly get better so why the fuck is he not doing that. He asks me if I genuinely want this and whether or not he’s a back up option to me, which he never has been, but I’m wondering if it’s the other way around - it sounds like he likes me and he shows that by being incredibly caring and all of that, but I clearly don’t make him feel the way someone should feel. That’s what this is, isn’t it? He’s settling? He would never in a million years admit that though. I wonder if he would even admit it to himself. I realise there are infinitely more important things to someone’s looks when choosing a partner, his looks for example are the least important part of him to me. But you should still think they’re… idk. I thought I felt better after out talk the other night, I did feel better, but now.. now I kind of feel worse. Because now he’s openly said the things I’ve assumed, so now it’s all actual reality and not a worry or fear in my head. Now I know he thinks his exes are better than me, now I know he thinks I’m pretty - nothing more. He’s settling, that’s exactly what this is. I’ve always always always known that I don’t deserve him, that he’s better than me and that he could quite easily find someone far superior to me - so now it all makes sense. I don’t want to be a person who someone settles for though. That’s probably my biggest fear, even more than jumping out of a plane. Knowing you’re with someone who loves you sure, but you’re nothing dazzling to them, you’re just an easy, safe and available option who probably appeared at the “right” time. But then there’s nothing right about our timing. So. I don’t know what to think. But I felt better before but now I feel worse.
Okay and final negative thought for the day before I shunt them all so far away from me they end up damn near Pluto. He said he doesn’t really care how I look and that it isn’t the most important thing about me, which super crazy sweet and makes me feel really happy and genuinely cared for, but it also means because he doesn’t care it means he doesn’t think there’s anything worth caring about. I don’t give him anything much to care about. I’m not majorly deformed, that’s about it. I know I’m a very very lucky girl to have a man like this - who isn’t shallow and all of that - but sometimes you want to feel like he’s proud of you I guess, like proud to show you off, and I’m just never going to get that. Because when I asked if I would embarrass him to his friends he said “do you think I’m someone who cares what others think?” to which I know he isn’t. So. I mean if that isn’t telling of how he sees me idk what is.
Okay that’s enough. Stop stop stop stop STOP. I should NOT be allowing myself to indulge in these negative thoughts and I should also not be bringing him into it either. So stop stop stop stop stop STOP
I haven’t journaled anything since, but I haven’t dwelled on any negative thoughts since either so that’s good. My therapist always tells me to not beat myself up when I lapse with my rerouting of thoughts and stuff, she said it’s a deeply ingrained sense of self and thought and that I’m doing very well - I think she’d say that even if I was doing horrifically though. But I think it is normal to lapse sometimes, I just have to make sure it’s sometimes and that I’m aware of it (like I was earlier) and that I don’t make rash decisions when in said state. Anyway. I’ve been better the rest of the day. Have I felt better? No. Have I thought better? Yes. I’ve not done a lot. I don’t really want to write much it I’m honest. I just wanted to say I feel bad about my earlier thoughts. I don’t want to reread them so I can’t 100% remember what I even said. I think I still believe it though. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t really know anything at all. Bye

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2024.06.01 10:56 Sweet-Count2557 15 Top Farms in New Jersey for Family Entertainment

15 Top Farms in New Jersey for Family Entertainment Are you hesitant about spending a day at a farm for family entertainment? Well, let me assure you that these top farms in New Jersey are not your typical run-of-the-mill farms. They offer a plethora of activities and attractions that will keep the whole family engaged and entertained.From petting zoos and pick-your-own events to scenic rides and delicious treats, these farms have something for everyone. So, if you're looking for a unique and enjoyable day out with your family, keep reading to discover the 15 top farms in New Jersey that will leave you wanting more.Key TakeawaysAlstede Farms in Chester offers a variety of activities and events for families, including mazes, pony rides, hayrides, and seasonal festivals. They also have a farm store with organic produce and homemade pies.Argos Farms in Forked River provides summer activities like blueberry and sunflower picking, as well as fall activities such as pumpkin picking and corn mazes. They even have a visit from Santa in December.Abmas Farm in Wyckoff has a petting zoo with a wide range of animals, including goats, sheep, alpacas, and donkeys. They also offer fall activities like hayrides and pumpkin decorating events.Demarest Farms in Hillsdale is a kid-friendly farm with pick-your-own options for peaches, apples, and pumpkins. They have farm animals to interact with, colorful playhouses, and special events like the Halloween Light Show and Orchard of Lights with Santa.Alstede Farms - ChesterAt Alstede Farms in Chester, our family-owned and sprawling 600-acre farm offers a wide range of activities and events for all ages to enjoy. As one of the best family-friendly farms near me, we strive to create an atmosphere of freedom and fun. Every day, we've an array of exciting activities available, such as navigating our challenging corn maze, taking a pony ride, going on a hayride, and bouncing around in our bouncy house.But that's not all - we've so much more to offer. Our farm is home to various mazes that will test your navigation skills, as well as friendly animals that you can meet and interact with. From goats and sheep to alpacas and donkeys, there's a furry friend for everyone.Throughout the year, we also host seasonal festivals and special events that add an extra touch of excitement to your visit. And don't forget to stop by our farm store, where you can find organic fruits and veggies, homemade pies bursting with flavor, and fresh, creamy ice cream.Not only are we one of the best farms in South Jersey, but we also prioritize creating a welcoming and inclusive environment for families. We understand that freedom means being able to explore, engage, and enjoy. So whether you're looking for a day of adventure or simply want to relax and take in the beauty of our farm, Alstede Farms is the perfect destination for you.Come and experience the joy and freedom of our family-friendly farm near you.Argos Farms - Forked RiverAfter exploring the wide variety of activities and events at Alstede Farms in Chester, let's now turn our attention to Argos Farms in Forked River, where there's even more family fun awaiting. Argos Farms is one of the most kid-friendly farms near me and offers a range of exciting experiences for visitors of all ages. Located in South Jersey, this farm provides a perfect day out for families looking to enjoy the beauty of nature while having a great time together.During the summer, Argos Farms offers blueberry and sunflower picking, allowing families to get close to nature and take home some delicious treats. Kids can also enjoy an exhilarating obstacle course and jump around on the giant jumper pillow. As fall approaches, the farm transforms into a pumpkin paradise, with pumpkin picking, a challenging corn maze, wagon rides through the scenic surroundings, and even a thrilling zip line adventure.One of the highlights of visiting Argos Farms in December is the special visit from Santa Claus himself. Children can meet Santa, share their wishes, and take memorable photos to cherish. The farm's festive atmosphere creates a magical experience for the whole family.Argos Farms is one of the top farms in South Jersey, offering a wide range of activities and attractions throughout the year. Whether you're looking to pick fresh produce, explore a corn maze, or simply enjoy a day of outdoor fun, this farm has it all. So, if you're in search of granjas en New Jersey that provide a perfect blend of entertainment and nature, be sure to put Argos Farms on your list of must-visit destinations.Abmas Farm - WyckoffLocated in Wyckoff, Abmas Farm is a delightful destination that offers a wide range of family-friendly activities and attractions. As one of the best farms near me, Abmas Farm provides a fantastic experience for both kids and adults alike.One of the highlights of the farm is its petting zoo, which features a variety of friendly animals such as goats, sheep, alpacas, donkeys, ponies, bunnies, and pigs. Visitors can interact with these animals and even take part in the unique goat walk and visit the duck pond in Bunnyville.During the fall season, Abmas Farm offers a variety of fun-filled activities. Families can enjoy hayrides to the pumpkin patch, where they can pick out their favorite pumpkins to take home. The farm also hosts fall story time sessions and pumpkin decorating events, adding to the festive atmosphere. Additionally, Abmas Farm offers a farm camp for kids ages 5-10, providing them with an opportunity to learn about farm life and engage in hands-on activities.Abmas Farm isn't just limited to the fall season. Throughout the growing season, visitors can participate in pick-your-own events, allowing them to gather fresh produce straight from the farm. This provides a unique opportunity to experience the joy of harvesting fruits and vegetables while enjoying the beautiful surroundings.Demarest Farms - HillsdaleAs we continue our exploration of family-friendly farms in New Jersey, let's now turn our attention to Demarest Farms in Hillsdale, where visitors of all ages can enjoy a delightful combination of fresh produce, friendly farm animals, and vibrant seasonal events.Here are four reasons why Demarest Farms should be on your list of farms to visit near you:Fresh Produce: Demarest Farms offers a U-pick experience, allowing you to handpick peaches, apples, and pumpkins straight from the fields. There's nothing quite like the taste of freshly harvested fruits and vegetables, and Demarest Farms ensures that you have access to the best quality produce.Friendly Farm Animals: Get up close and personal with the farm's adorable petting pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens. These friendly animals are always eager to interact with visitors, making it a memorable experience for both kids and adults alike. It's a great opportunity to teach children about farm life and the importance of caring for animals.Engaging Activities: Demarest Farms goes beyond just farming by providing colorful wooden playhouses and photo board cutouts for children to enjoy. These interactive elements add an extra layer of fun to the visit, allowing kids to unleash their creativity and imagination. Additionally, the farm hosts seasonal events like the Halloween Light Show in October and the Orchard of Lights with Santa in December, ensuring that there's always something exciting happening.Convenient Location: With Demarest Farms being located in Hillsdale, it's easily accessible for those looking for farms by them. Whether you're a local or just passing through, this farm is a perfect destination for a fun-filled day with the family.Conklin Farm U-Pick - MontvilleWe were thrilled to discover Conklin Farm U-Pick in Montville, a charming and intimate venue that offers a variety of fall activities and attractions for the whole family to enjoy. This smaller and more intimate farm provides a unique and personal experience that allows visitors to fully immerse themselves in the beauty of the season.One of the highlights at Conklin Farm U-Pick is the pumpkin picking. Families can stroll through the pumpkin patch, searching for the perfect pumpkin to take home and carve. The farm also offers a corn maze, where visitors can test their navigational skills and try to find their way out. For those looking for a more relaxing experience, there are hayrides available that provide a picturesque view of the farm and surrounding countryside.Children will love the train ride that takes them around the farm, giving them a chance to see the barnyard animals up close. From goats and sheep to chickens and pigs, there are plenty of friendly animals to meet and interact with. And when hunger strikes, the snack shack offers delicious treats like hotdogs, hot cider, candy apples, and homemade doughnuts.For older kids seeking a thrill, there's a haunted hayride that promises to provide a spooky and exciting experience. And for those looking to test their strength and accuracy, there's a pumpkin slingshot game where participants have a chance to win a giant pumpkin.Conklin Farm U-Pick in Montville is truly a hidden gem that offers a unique and personal fall experience for the whole family. With its variety of activities and attractions, it's the perfect destination for those seeking a fun and memorable day on the farm.Stony Hill Farms - ChesterAfter enjoying the charming and intimate experience at Conklin Farm U-Pick, families seeking more fall fun can head over to Stony Hill Farms in Chester for a day filled with exciting activities and attractions. Here are four reasons why Stony Hill Farms should be on your list of must-visit farms in New Jersey:Giant 10-acre corn maze: Get ready to test your navigational skills in Stony Hill Farms' impressive corn maze. With twists, turns, and dead ends, this maze is sure to challenge both kids and adults alike. Can you find your way out?Mini corn maze: If the giant corn maze seems a bit too daunting, don't worry! Stony Hill Farms also offers a mini corn maze perfect for younger children. They can explore and have fun while feeling a sense of accomplishment at finding their way out.Rope maze: For something a little different, try out the rope maze at Stony Hill Farms. This unique maze is made up of ropes that you have to navigate through, adding an extra element of fun and excitement to your visit.Hayrides and playground: Take a relaxing hayride around the farm and enjoy the beautiful scenery. Afterward, let the kids burn off some energy at the playground, complete with slides, swings, and climbing structures. It's the perfect way to keep the little ones entertained while you take a break and soak in the peaceful atmosphere.Stony Hill Farms in Chester offers a wide range of activities and attractions that are sure to please everyone in the family. From challenging mazes to relaxing hayrides, there's something for everyone to enjoy. So pack up the family and head over to Stony Hill Farms for a day of fall fun and excitement.Terhune Orchards - PrincetonNestled in the picturesque town of Princeton, Terhune Orchards offers a delightful experience for families seeking fresh produce, fun activities, and a charming farm atmosphere. As you enter the orchard, you're greeted by the sight of vibrant apple trees stretching as far as the eye can see. The farm is home to over 30 varieties of apples, allowing visitors to pick their own and enjoy the freshest fruit imaginable.One of the highlights of Terhune Orchards is the barnyard animals. Children have the opportunity to interact with friendly goats, sheep, chickens, and even ponies. They can pet and feed these adorable creatures while learning about farm life. A half-mile farm walking trail winds through the orchard, providing a serene and scenic experience for the whole family.Terhune Orchards also offers pony and tractor rides, adding an extra element of excitement to your visit. Kids can hop on a pony and take a leisurely ride around the farm or enjoy a tractor-drawn wagon ride through the orchard. These activities allow children to immerse themselves in the farm atmosphere while creating lasting memories.During the fall season, Terhune Orchards hosts Fall Family Weekends, where families can enjoy additional attractions such as a cornstalk and hay bale maze, face painting, and pumpkin decorating. These festive activities make for a perfect day out with the family, filled with laughter and joy.In addition to the engaging activities, Terhune Orchards boasts a farm store that offers a wide selection of fresh produce, homemade pies, and even fresh ice cream. You can take home some of the farm's delicious offerings, ensuring that the fun and flavors of Terhune Orchards continue long after your visit.Terhune Orchards in Princeton truly exemplifies the beauty and charm of a family-friendly farm. From the fresh produce to the fun-filled activities, this farm provides an experience that's sure to delight visitors of all ages. So gather your loved ones and embark on an adventure to Terhune Orchards, where freedom and enjoyment await.Von Thuns - South BrunswickVon Thuns in South Brunswick offers a delightful farm experience filled with pick-your-own options, festive fall weekends, and scenic moonlit mazes. Here are four reasons why you should visit Von Thuns for a fun-filled day with your family:Abundance of Pick-Your-Own Options: At Von Thuns, you can immerse yourself in the joy of picking your own fresh produce. From apples and strawberries to peas, blueberries, blackberries, and pumpkins, there's a wide variety of fruits and vegetables for you to choose from. This hands-on experience allows you to connect with nature and appreciate the journey from farm to table.Festive Fall Weekends: Fall at Von Thuns is a time of celebration and excitement. During the weekends, the farm comes alive with a range of activities for the whole family. Enjoy hayrides through the scenic countryside, navigate your way through the corn maze, challenge your loved ones to a game of mini golf, or pedal around on the karts. There's something for everyone to enjoy and create lasting memories.Scenic Moonlit Mazes: For a unique and enchanting experience, Von Thuns offers moonlit mazes. As the sun sets and the moon rises, explore the twists and turns of the maze under the night sky. The magical ambiance adds a touch of mystique and adventure to your farm visit. Don't forget to bring a flashlight and embrace the thrill of finding your way through the maze.Farm Store Delights: Before you leave, make sure to stop by the farm store at Von Thuns. Indulge in a variety of baked goods made with fresh ingredients from the farm. Take home some delicious produce to enjoy with your family. From pies and bread to jams and jellies, the farm store offers a taste of the farm's bounty that you can savor long after your visit.Von Thuns in South Brunswick is a place where families can escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life and immerse themselves in the beauty of nature. With pick-your-own options, festive fall weekends, scenic moonlit mazes, and a farm store filled with treats, Von Thuns offers an unforgettable experience for all. So gather your loved ones and embark on a journey of freedom and fun at Von Thuns.Wightman Farms - MorristownWightman Farms in Morristown offers a delightful farm experience with scenic hayrides, a challenging corn maze, and delicious treats for the whole family to enjoy. Whether you're looking for a fun day out or want to indulge in some mouthwatering treats, Wightman Farms has something for everyone.One of the highlights at Wightman Farms is their scenic hayrides. Hop on a wagon and take a leisurely ride through the picturesque farm, enjoying the beautiful scenery and fresh country air. It's a perfect way to relax and soak in the beauty of nature.If you're up for a challenge, don't miss the corn maze at Wightman Farms. Get lost in the twists and turns of the maze as you try to find your way out. It's a great activity for both kids and adults, and it's sure to test your navigation skills.For those with a sweet tooth, Wightman Farms has a wide selection of delicious treats. Indulge in freshly squeezed apple cider, homemade pies, apple butter, and their famous cider doughnuts. These mouthwatering treats are made with love and are sure to satisfy any craving.To give you a better idea of what Wightman Farms has to offer, here's a table showcasing their attractions:AttractionDescriptionScenic HayridesEnjoy a relaxing ride through the farm and take in the beautiful scenery.Corn MazeTest your navigation skills in this challenging corn maze.Corn-Filled SandboxLet the kids have fun in this unique play area filled with corn.Delicious TreatsIndulge in freshly squeezed apple cider, homemade pies, apple butter, and cider doughnuts.Wightman Farms provides a perfect blend of entertainment and delicious treats, making it an ideal destination for a fun-filled day for the whole family. So gather your loved ones and head over to Wightman Farms in Morristown for an unforgettable farm experience.Ort Farms - Long ValleyAfter experiencing the delightful farm activities and delicious treats at Wightman Farms, it's time to explore another family-friendly destination in New Jersey: Ort Farms in Long Valley. Here are four reasons why Ort Farms is a must-visit for families seeking freedom and fun:Fresh Fruit and Vegetables: Ort Farms is known for its high-quality produce. From juicy strawberries in the summer to crisp apples in the fall, there's always a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables to choose from. You can even pick your own and experience the joy of harvesting your food straight from the fields.Beautiful Flowers: If you have a green thumb or simply appreciate the beauty of nature, Ort Farms has a stunning selection of flowers. From vibrant sunflowers to fragrant roses, the farm offers a colorful array of blooms to brighten up any garden or living space.Delicious Baked Goods: Indulge your taste buds with the mouthwatering baked goods at Ort Farms. From warm apple pies to fluffy muffins, their bakery is a treat for both the young and the young at heart. Don't forget to try their famous cider doughnuts, freshly made and coated in cinnamon sugar.Giant Pumpkins: Ort Farms is home to some truly enormous pumpkins. Take your family on a quest to find the biggest one and snap some memorable photos. These giant pumpkins are a sight to behold and will surely leave a lasting impression.At Ort Farms, you can enjoy the freedom of exploring the fields, picking your own produce, and indulging in delicious treats. Whether you're looking for fresh fruits and vegetables, beautiful flowers, or an adventure in a corn maze, Ort Farms has something for everyone in the family. So pack your bags and get ready for a day filled with fun and freedom at Ort Farms in Long Valley.Farms With a Variety of Activities and EventsThere are several farms in New Jersey that offer a variety of activities and events for families to enjoy. These farms provide a perfect opportunity for families to spend quality time together while engaging in fun and exciting experiences. Let's take a look at some of these farms and what they have to offer:Farm NameLocationActivities and EventsAlstede FarmsChester- Daily availability of corn maze, pony rides, hayrides, and bouncy house - Various mazes and friendly animals to meet - Seasonal festivals and special events - Farm store with organic fruits and veggies, homemade pies, and fresh ice creamArgos FarmsForked River- Summer activities include blueberry and sunflower picking, obstacle course, and jumper pillow - Fall activities include pumpkin picking, corn maze, wagon rides, and zip line - Visit from Santa in DecemberAbmas FarmWyckoff- Petting zoo with a variety of animals - Fall activities include hayrides to the pumpkin patch, fall story time sessions, and pumpkin decorating events - Farm camp for kids ages 5-10 - Pick-your-own events throughout the growing seasonDemarest FarmsHillsdale- U-pick peaches, apples, and pumpkins - Petting pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens - Colorful wooden playhouses and photo board cutouts - Halloween Light Show in October and Orchard of Lights with Santa in DecemberThese farms offer a wide range of activities and events that cater to different interests and ages. Alstede Farms, located in Chester, provides daily access to a corn maze, pony rides, hayrides, and a bouncy house. They also have various mazes and friendly animals for visitors to meet. Additionally, they host seasonal festivals and special events, making each visit a unique experience. The farm store at Alstede Farms is a great place to find organic fruits and veggies, homemade pies, and fresh ice cream.Argos Farms in Forked River is another farm that offers a variety of activities throughout the year. During the summer, visitors can enjoy blueberry and sunflower picking, an obstacle course, and a jumper pillow. In the fall, the farm provides pumpkin picking, a corn maze, wagon rides, and a zip line. And don't forget to visit Santa in December!Abmas Farm in Wyckoff is a great choice for families looking for a petting zoo experience. This farm has a wide variety of animals, including goats, sheep, alpacas, donkeys, ponies, bunnies, and pigs. Kids can also enjoy activities such as the goat walk, duck pond, and Bunnyville. In the fall, Abmas Farm offers hayrides to the pumpkin patch, fall story time sessions, and pumpkin decorating events. They even have a farm camp for kids ages 5-10, where they can learn about farming and interact with the animals.Farms With Petting Zoos and Pick-Your-Own EventsOne of the highlights of visiting farms in New Jersey is the opportunity to interact with adorable animals and pick your own fresh produce. Here are four farms that offer petting zoos and pick-your-own events:Alstede Farms - ChesterThis 600-acre family-owned farm offers a wide range of activities for the whole family. You can enjoy a corn maze, pony rides, hayrides, and even bounce around in a bouncy house.They've various mazes to explore and friendly animals to meet, making it a fun and interactive experience.Alstede Farms also hosts seasonal festivals and special events throughout the year, so there's always something new to discover.Don't forget to stop by their farm store, where you can find organic fruits and veggies, homemade pies, and fresh ice cream.Argos Farms - Forked RiverDuring the summer months, Argos Farms offers blueberry and sunflower picking, as well as an obstacle course and a jumper pillow for some high-flying fun.In the fall, you can go pumpkin picking, navigate through a corn maze, enjoy wagon rides, and even try out their zip line.And if you visit in December, you might just get a chance to meet Santa himself.Abmas Farm - WyckoffAbmas Farm is home to a petting zoo where you can meet a variety of animals, including goats, sheep, alpacas, donkeys, ponies, bunnies, pigs, and more.They also offer unique attractions like the goat walk and the duck pond, as well as Bunnyville, a special area dedicated to bunnies.In the fall, you can enjoy hayrides to the pumpkin patch, participate in fall story time sessions, and even join pumpkin decorating events.Abmas Farm also offers a farm camp for kids ages 5-10 and hosts pick-your-own events throughout the growing season.Demarest Farms - HillsdaleDemarest Farms is a kid-friendly farm that not only offers fresh produce but also has a variety of farm animals to interact with.You can pick your own peaches, apples, and pumpkins, and while you're there, don't forget to say hello to the petting pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens.The farm also features colorful wooden playhouses and photo board cutouts, perfect for capturing those memorable moments.And if you visit during October or December, be sure to catch their Halloween Light Show and Orchard of Lights with Santa.These farms provide a fantastic opportunity for families to enjoy hands-on experiences with animals and the chance to harvest their own fresh produce. Whether you're looking for a petting zoo or a pick-your-own event, these farms in New Jersey have something for everyone.Farms With Fall Activities and AttractionsAs we enter the autumn season, New Jersey farms transform into vibrant destinations filled with fall activities and attractions that offer fun for the whole family. From pumpkin picking to corn mazes, hayrides to petting zoos, there are plenty of options to choose from. Let's take a look at some of the top farms in New Jersey that offer fall activities and attractions.Farm NameLocationActivities and AttractionsAlstede FarmsChesterDaily availability of corn maze, pony rides, hayrides, and moreArgos FarmsForked RiverPumpkin picking, corn maze, wagon rides, and zip lineAbmas FarmWyckoffPetting zoo, hayrides to the pumpkin patch, pumpkin decoratingDemarest FarmsHillsdaleU-pick peaches, apples, and pumpkins, petting pigs and moreConklin FarmMontvillePumpkin picking, corn maze, train ride, and moreAt Alstede Farms in Chester, families can enjoy a 600-acre farm with daily availability of a corn maze, pony rides, hayrides, and a bouncy house. The farm also offers various mazes and a chance to meet friendly animals. Seasonal festivals and special events add to the excitement, and the farm store is stocked with organic fruits and veggies, homemade pies, and fresh ice cream.Argos Farms in Forked River offers a range of fall activities, including pumpkin picking, a corn maze, wagon rides, and a zip line. In December, Santa even pays a visit to the farm.Abmas Farm in Wyckoff is known for its petting zoo, where visitors can interact with goats, sheep, alpacas, donkeys, ponies, bunnies, pigs, and more. The farm also offers hayrides to the pumpkin patch, fall story time sessions, and pumpkin decorating events.Demarest Farms in Hillsdale is a kid-friendly farm where families can pick their own peaches, apples, and pumpkins. Kids can also enjoy petting pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens. Colorful wooden playhouses and photo board cutouts add to the fun, and the farm hosts a Halloween Light Show in October and an Orchard of Lights with Santa in December.Conklin Farm in Montville offers a more intimate venue for fall activities. Families can enjoy pumpkin picking, a corn maze, train ride, barnyard animals, and hayrides. A snack shack with hotdogs, hot cider, candy apples, and homemade doughnuts is available, and older kids can even experience a haunted hayride.These farms are just a few examples of the many destinations in New Jersey that offer fall activities and attractions. So gather your loved ones and head out to a farm near you for a memorable autumn adventure.Farms With Pick-Your-Own Options and FestivalsLet's dive into the world of farms in New Jersey that offer pick-your-own options and host exciting festivals. Here are four farms that provide a fun-filled experience for the whole family:Alstede Farms - Chester: This 600-acre family-owned farm offers a wide range of activities. Enjoy daily adventures such as navigating through a corn maze, pony rides, hayrides, and bouncing in a bouncy house. Meet friendly animals and explore various mazes. Don't miss out on their seasonal festivals and special events. You can also visit their farm store, which offers organic fruits and veggies, homemade pies, and fresh ice cream.Argos Farms - Forked River: During the summer, Argos Farms is the place to be for blueberry and sunflower picking, as well as an obstacle course and jumper pillow. In the fall, enjoy pumpkin picking, a corn maze, wagon rides, and a thrilling zip line. And keep an eye out for a special visit from Santa in December.Abmas Farm - Wyckoff: Abmas Farm is known for its petting zoo, featuring a variety of animals including goats, sheep, alpacas, donkeys, ponies, bunnies, and pigs. Explore attractions like the goat walk, duck pond, and Bunnyville. Fall activities include hayrides to the pumpkin patch, fall story time sessions, and pumpkin decorating events. They also offer a farm camp for kids ages 5-10 and pick-your-own events throughout the growing season.Demarest Farms - Hillsdale: This kid-friendly farm boasts fresh produce and a chance to interact with farm animals. U-pick peaches, apples, and pumpkins are available. Kids will love petting pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens. Additionally, colorful wooden playhouses and photo board cutouts provide endless entertainment. Don't miss their Halloween Light Show in October and Orchard of Lights with Santa in December.These farms offer not only pick-your-own options but also exciting festivals and events. So gather your loved ones and head out to experience the freedom and fun of these New Jersey farms.Farms With Scenic Rides and Delicious TreatsWith its scenic rides and delectable treats, exploring the farms in New Jersey becomes a delightful experience for all. Among the top farms that offer both scenic rides and delicious treats are Wightman Farms in Morristown and Ort Farms in Long Valley.Wightman Farms is known for its scenic hayrides that take you through their beautiful fields and orchards. As you take in the breathtaking views, the fresh country air fills your lungs, giving you a sense of freedom and relaxation. After the hayride, you can enjoy their corn maze, where you can challenge yourself to find your way out. And while you're there, don't forget to try their freshly squeezed apple cider, homemade pies, apple butter, and cider doughnuts. These treats are made with love and will surely satisfy your cravings.Ort Farms, on the other hand, offers not only scenic views but also fresh fruit and vegetables. As you stroll through their farm, you'll be surrounded by beautiful flowers and the smell of nature. When it's time for a treat, head over to their bakery and indulge in their delicious baked goods. From pies to cookies, their treats are made with the finest ingredients and are sure to please your taste buds. And if you're in the mood for some autumn fun, don't miss their giant pumpkins and their fun corn maze.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Farms in New Jersey That Offer Activities and Events for Families Year-Round?Yes, there are farms in New Jersey that offer activities and events for families year-round. Some of these farms include Alstede Farms, Argos Farms, Abmas Farm, Demarest Farms, Conklin Farm U-Pick, Stony Hill Farms, Terhune Orchards, Von Thuns, Wightman Farms, and Ort Farms.These farms provide a variety of experiences such as petting zoos, pick-your-own events, fall activities, scenic rides, and delicious treats. Families can enjoy a range of fun-filled activities and create lasting memories at these farms throughout the year.Which Farms in New Jersey Have a Petting Zoo Where Visitors Can Interact With a Variety of Animals?There are several farms in New Jersey where visitors can interact with a variety of animals.Alstede Farms in Chester has a petting zoo with friendly goats, sheep, alpacas, ponies, and more.Abmas Farm in Wyckoff also has a petting zoo with goats, sheep, donkeys, bunnies, pigs, and other animals.Demarest Farms in Hillsdale allows visitors to pet pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens.These farms offer a fun and educational experience for families looking to interact with animals.Are There Any Farms in New Jersey That Offer Pick-Your-Own Events and Festivals Throughout the Year?Yes, there are several farms in New Jersey that offer pick-your-own events and festivals throughout the year.Some of these farms include Abmas Farm in Wyckoff, which offers pick-your-own events throughout the growing season and has a petting zoo with a variety of animals.Terhune Orchards in Princeton also offers pick-your-own options, including over 30 varieties of apples, and hosts Fall Family Weekends with cornstalk and hay bale mazes, face painting, and pumpkin decorating.Von Thuns in South Brunswick has pick-your-own options for apples, strawberries, peas, blueberries, blackberries, and pumpkins, and hosts Fall Festival Weekends with hayrides, corn mazes, and more.These farms provide a fun and interactive experience for the whole family.Do Any Farms in New Jersey Offer Scenic Rides in Addition to Delicious Treats?Yes, some farms in New Jersey offer scenic rides in addition to delicious treats.Wightman Farms in Morristown provides scenic hayrides through their beautiful farm. You can also enjoy their corn maze and corn-filled sandbox. Don't forget to try their freshly squeezed apple cider, homemade pies, apple butter, and cider doughnuts.Ort Farms in Long Valley offers scenic rides as well, along with fresh fruit and vegetables, beautiful flowers, delicious baked goods, and giant pumpkins.Are There Any Farms in New Jersey That Are Known for Their Fall Activities and Attractions?There are several farms in New Jersey that are known for their fall activities and attractions.One popular option is Conklin Farm U-Pick in Montville, which offers pumpkin picking, a corn maze, train rides, and barnyard animals.Another great choice is Demarest Farms in Hillsdale, where you can enjoy U-pick peaches, apples, and pumpkins, as well as petting pigs, sheep, goats, and chickens.Stony Hill Farms in Chester also offers a giant corn maze, hayrides, and a playground.These farms provide fun and excitement for the whole family during the fall season.ConclusionAs we bid farewell to the enchanting farms of New Jersey, we're reminded of the beauty and wonder that can be found in the simplest of pleasures.These farms, with their vibrant fields, playful animals, and delicious treats, symbolize the joy and connection that can be experienced when families come together to explore and create memories.So, gather your loved ones and embark on a journey filled with laughter, adventure, and the magic that only a day on these top farms can provide.

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2024.06.01 10:35 bookforgetter I may be too scared to play the DLC

Apologies for making two posts at once, but I think this topic is different enough to warrant its own post.
I have been told by many people (and was hinted by the game itself) that the DLC is much scarier than the base game and even borderlines a horror game. I don't do well with horror and the base game, despite not being a horror game, already creeped me out at several points. This included closing out the game as a reaction out of fright on several occasions, including when I first entered giants deep, first entered dark bramble and met an anglerfish, first fell down towards the black hole in brittle hollow, started to get flooded by sand heading towards the high energy lab, etc. The list goes on. I also felt extremely anxious essentially the entire time exploring unknown territory. The point is, I seem to be easily freaked out by core aspects of the game, and I can't imagine the DLC being any better based on the increased horror factor. I really did enjoy the base game despite all those fears, but I'm worried that the increased amount of fear and anxiety I potentially may have in the DLC may not be worth it. I started the DLC and almost closed out of the game out of fear when I first landed on the ship thing that blocked the sun, probably from a mix of the environment being creepy to me, the creepy music, and me knowing that there's supposed to be parts that are supposed to be scary. This is literally the beginning of the DLC I think, which gets me worried. Are there any tips for getting through this sort of fear to play the DLC? Maybe the DLC just isn't for me, which sounds like a shame since I've only heard good things about it other than the fear factor.
EDIT: There's also some reduced frights option, does that really help with the parts I am addressing? Have people found that useful? How exactly does it help?

submitted by bookforgetter to outerwilds [link] [comments]

2024.06.01 10:29 theConsummateProf How should I feel

So I (24M) am going through a difficult time emotionally in terms of trying to figure out my current situation. One thing I can’t get over is what went wrong with my parents who are somehow still together. They both CLEARLY don’t like each other very much and I’m pretty sure the reason why is that they spend way too much time in the house together and it’s been going on for so long. My dad “worked” from home for a long time as a photographer (basically most of the time that I’ve known him) and things got real tough on his business for a good minute. But he went out of his way to not suck it up and do certain work that would’ve helped pay the bills (refused to shoot weddings, other things that annoyed him). It honestly comes off to me now as a bit lazy, and low and behold do I learn that he was a big pot head for my entire life. I personally don’t have an issue with weed, but I used to find it strange why he never really had energy. He also used to vent to me about his marital frustrations and how depressed he was CONSTANTLY, which I think I’ve figured out is because he smoked too much damn weed. This also made things very hard to enjoy when I was growing up bc I think I kinda felt responsible for him. He was always in an existential crisis. I’m gonna stick with the occasional joint but I’m going to be a booze guy from here on out (responsibly I might add, I’m not an idiot). Through all that, I generally have pretty good memories with him as he could be lots of fun at times. In terms of fatherly advice though, he kinda sounds like he barely, if at all, knows what he’s talking about. A lot. BUT, he did show up to everything that me or my brother were involved with and was and still is our biggest fan. He may just kinda repeat back what I say a lot when I ask for advice, but at least he’s trying. I appreciate the effort.
Mom was different. She worked a nursing job on the weekends that she had to commute to. This pretty much destroyed her mental health in my opinion, as she’s incredibly isolated and used to exaggerate how bad, irresponsible, and not caring I was as a kid and teen (I was the kind of kid adults DREAM of. 4.0 student, full ride, helpful, interesting hobbies but can also have fun. Never a burden to anyone really, club joiner, plenty of friends. The whole 9 yards). I was pretty introverted but I think it’s because of how they set everything up to be SO isolated. Putting me in an isolating school that was pretty far from our neighborhood because mom resented it. Our house is literally in a ditch that was pretty separated from everyone (only 1 neighborhood friend). Social skills were honestly at a premium to develop, but I survived. She always seemed so irritated at me, would point out a lot of insecurities I had to her friends to laugh about with, and never really cared to participate in things with me. Never showed up to school events or functions that I was involved with, blamed it on a fear of crowds (which she conveniently doesn’t have when it’s something she wanted to do). She was just kinda mean and distant. Did I jaw back and embarrass her occasionally? Sure, but considering other kids were shooting up heroin in our family (a true fucking story that she had to stick her nose in), I think I can be forgiven. This isolation had an incredibly negative impact on her health. The house is a wreck, her heart sucks as she had a heart attack a couple years back. It’s bad. Real bad. All she does is sit on her damn phone and watch tiktok. Her brain (which, she actually was acutely intelligent) is pretty much fried. It also didn’t help to learn from my aunt that my mom has had affairs (I want to think multiple but I can only confirm one), and the one I can confirm is with a convicted pedophile that she continues to defend (and my dad idiotically goes along with her bullshit on it)… so yeah. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that information.
So how do I make sense of all this. I’m very bad at communicating what I need unless I’m drunk, but I still want them to do better. I work from home with great pay for a single man, so I’m sorta using that to “make up for lost time” on things I missed out on as a kid, but I still feel isolated and stressed bc of the situation. I know I have a deep mistrust and fear of women that I need to get over as well, but I don’t know how to do that. I’m going to see yet another therapist about this, but even that’s burning me out. What’s with this situation?

submitted by theConsummateProf to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

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