Tldr the love of my life was sexually assaulted in a pub restroom and i didn't murder the bastard who did it because I didn't know how severe it was and also i was scared of someone much stronger
this rape incident traumatized me, traumatized the girl and shaped my whole existence. I know I am supposed to care much more about her but what about my own future?
From childhood, I was a selfish and cowardly person who, because of these two qualities, coupled with inexperience, let down family and friends. I was beaten by my parents and offended at school, both by teachers and classmates, and I never knew how to answer. On the contrary, it began to seem to me that my bitter experience allows me to offend others, to take everything from life. I was very wrong, but definitely karma will bite me for this. My bad character and my grotesquely disgusting appearance (my left eye is lazy) led to the fact that I was fatally deprived of female attention and jealous of the men in my environment who drowned in it. Therefore, when on August 14, 2021, the most beautiful girl in my life, whom I had known for three years, invited me on a date herself, confessed her feelings to me and kissed me, I was the happiest person in the world. She was special. The most beautiful woman, dyed red hair and played rts videogames and watched anime, even let me touch her and seemed to want sex with me. However, in 48 hours everything turned upside down.
I witnessed the horrendous harassment of her on August 16th and did nothing. The rapist, our former friend, stood up and towered over her began to somehow strangely demand a kiss from her when we gathered for, as it seemed to me then, the most ordinary drinking party. I felt that she was not comfortable, but then I had no idea how bad everything was. I was too frightened by a physically stronger man to stand up for my beloved, especially since we had not officially dated yet. My God, I should have intervened already then!
The next morning, on August 17, I received a message that if I stood for her, she would have thought whether we should date or not, and since I did not see this, she does not see the point. I sobbed nine times after this message. I'm ready to cry over her right now too. What I didn't know at the time was that shortly after the kiss-demanding incident, he followed her to the restroom and started molesting her. Very bad. I even continued to communicate with this bastard for some time, not knowing the whole story. I learned about the whole picture only a week later, when we met with her in the same company on other friends birthday party (but without the rapist). It was a very difficult conversation and I made a mistake in it, my stupid head. I said complete nonsense and selfishly tried to cling to any little thing, somehow trying to rehabilitate myself, but this only hurt my beloved more. When I tried to promise that I would behave differently if I had known the full story or next time, she started making fun of me. Fucking hell. I cut off all contacts with the assaulter that same evening I had learned the full story, and he was still surprised, he said, “Why does it bother you? Fell in love with her? ”, To which I answered in the affirmative and sent the bastard to the Blocklist, after which, in the spring, I began to talk about his atrocities to the girls in our common institute. Although it hardly mattered, it was our last year at the university.
Somewhere in February, I blocked my beloved everywhere I could, because I realized that my feelings for her were not mutual and having her in my contact list, I only hurt myself. I hoped that I would forget it. Not at all. With a red-hot iron, her image is burned into my brain, heart, in my eyes. My mind is clouded, I feel disgust, shame, regret, depressive sadness, I want to cry forever. I thought that the gym and the study of foreign languages would somehow distract me from the manic desire to end a meaningless life in which I would never again touch the most beautiful and nicest woman on the planet. I began to hate my own sexuality and gladly would have self-castrated myself.
Even right now I pendulum from asexuality to wanting to fuck everyone, anyone at the first given chance. I wish this had never happened.
I want her back. More than anything in the world. I failed her. Now I have no one and nothing. My reputation is also ruined because she told everyone what happened. So now even if I wanted to find another girlfriend, I will never be able to because none would trust a coward such as myself.
It was my first time dealing with such situation and I just froze.
I wrote to my beloved and asked her forgiveness. She doesn't blame me, but when I said that I was ready to do everything for her safety for free, she said "no, but thanks for the offer." I wrote that I understand that she does not trust me, but suddenly yes, and that this is the first time in my life this has happened, to which she said that in any case I am glad that everything is fine with me and I wrote to her. I wrote her a paragraph that she gave me a lot of good emotions and this topic is difficult for me, and I want the best and make sure that everything is fine, she replied with one line "have a nice day" I wrote "you too" and deleted the chat.
I am very sad that she does not trust me and does not see me as a reliable person. She doesn't have to date me or anything, but her not trusting me hurts so much. Like a knife in the heart. I didn't do it on purpose, I panicked because it was the first time. It makes me cry and want to die so much.
Even if at some point I wanted to settle for someone else (I will never be nearly as happy as with her), I won't be able to because she told everyone what happened and news in Baku spread like forest fire.

Long post…
As the title says, my boss keeps on screaming at me through the phone. But whenever we’re together at the office he doesn’t do those things. This all happens whenever I update him about work and the documents that are needed for processing, I always need to get his approval before I make a move. And the only platform that we discuss this on – is Messenger. I try my hardest to provide him of all the information he needs to know about the document. And if there are changes, I inform him well too. But I don’t know why, HE JUST DOESN’T UNDERSTAND IT. And then He’d freak out by messaging me continuously then afterwards, he’d call me. And when he calls that’s when he starts screaming stating things like “Didn’t I tell you that THIS is how you should process these documents?” I try my best to tell him that there have been changes in those documents and the one I currently showed him, was the altered version. He doesn’t accept my explanation. He’d start freaking out and shout non-stop, he’d tell me things like “I should’ve done it myself instead”, “I didn’t have these problems before” or “Why is it so hard to instruct things to you?”.
Whenever he does do the processing himself, everyone tells him the same thing. That there have been changes in those documents, which meant that I was right. He would never admit that he was wrong though and he’d never tell me that ”you were right, sorry I didn’t listen to you”.
It has been 5 months since he’s been my boss, whenever he’s out of the office; traveling. I need to contact him and update him. He never fails to yell at me. Now, I think I may have developed anxiety whenever I talk to him. My voice always stutters, my heart starts beating loudly, and I palpitate whenever he begins to raise his voice.
My office mates have already taken notice of how he treats me Because they hear his shouting through my phone. Yesterday, our Manager heard him yell at me. So He asked me how I was doing. I broke down, I told our manager everything, I even cried in front of him. Because it has already been affecting me mentally, and I don’t know what to do. I tried my best to be a good assistant but he kept on comparing to other assistants in our department.
It turns out, everyone else is aware of my boss’s attitude. That he has been like so- way before he got transferred to our department. My boss has a reputation for being hard-headed and won’t adapt to change. Even if that change has already been implemented throughout the company. Everyone hates him because of that.
I was just unlucky that I became his assistant. Now, I have to wait until next week when our manager talks to him. I'm aware that my boss is very confrontational, which is why I couldn't relax. I keep thinking of what might happen, what would he do to me, what would he say to me. I'm very introverted, I'm the shy type. I don't do well during confrontations.

Hello all, my department just underwent a reorganization. I am an AVP and my new boss who was my peer prior to the reorg was moved to an interim VP over me and my team, so I report directly to him now. Ever since he started as my new boss he seems to be looking for and/or pointing out issues with my performance. I’ve never felt so attacked. One of my goals he wrote was to minimize escalations from customers to no more than two a year. The environment we work in there are certain customers who escalate things and although we have talked and have come together on solutions, they will still escalate things to Sr. Leadership to cover themselves. I really don’t have control of their actions. A goal like this is so demoralizing and I have to cascade this goal down to my team which is going to suck. I feel my job has become walking on egg shells and avoiding issues and escalations rather than being productive and able to do my real job. It’s almost hostile because every conversation or instant message turns into an accusatory and demeaning theme. I’ve been at this company for over 20 years and every single annual review has been stellar. I don’t know if this person has it out for me or if I am overreacting. I’ve lost sleep and have never felt so stressed within this last three weeks. Not sure what to do here or what I am asking.

23F here. I was dating a guy, essentially a situationship from 2020-2023. In May 2023, we fell out & started seeing each other again in July. But we've been fwb rather than dating. Around Sept, he lmk there is a girl in another state that he's dating long distance & wants to be serious with. We still kept seeing each other b/c he said he was still "single". I believe he has been in a relationship with her since June 2023 but he did not finally claim her as his girlfriend to me until February of this year.
Anyways I still continued to see him despite knowing about the girl. I thought to myself well he was mine first. Very childish on my end, I know. I remember in December he told me was on vacay with this friends. The day after he came back, he was asking to see me. I found his gf's page a couple months ago & turns out, he was on a baecation with her. He was literally in Mexico with her for a week, just to cheat on her the next day.
Last week, when we were together, he even asked me for an orgy ( I said NO). So, I am sure he's sleeping with other girls too.
Yesterday morning, he asked me to come over. I said no bc of work, but what about this weekend? He said he'll be busy over the weekend but he can see me next week. I had an intuition that the girl was flying in this weekend so I check her IG & she's posting in his car. Mind you this is her birthday weekend. In the past, I have thought about telling her, but it was out of anger towards him so I chose not to. However, this time I genuinely feel bad for her. She's flying to her boyfriend's state to celebrate her birthday & little does she know her man was asking to sleep with me the same day she's flying in.
He has been sleeping with me for the entirety of their relationship. Should I tell the girlfriend over Instagram? Should I tell her from a fake page or my real one? I plan to tell the full story & acknowledge the parts that make me look bad as well. I can attach our messages for proof.

My first reddit post, hope you guys go easy on me.

1. Her

I met her (let's call her missybusy) through a common friend group. My friends from my previous school were still connected to me and I often used to meet them. She was new to that friend group and it was her first time coming for a meetup. My friend has a pretty big place so a lot of us could accommodate at the same time. I am usually quiet and I talk less. I was sitting in the corner on the sofa and then I saw her enter through the door along with one other friend of mine. And oh my god, I was in awe and amazement because truthfully, I had never seen a girl so pretty and radiant. Her eyes were bright like the moon at night, her complexion fair like milk and her smile was just so beautiful I can’t even describe it in words. She was the quiet one as well so we both were seated in the corner having small to no conversation. This was my first meeting with her and then we met on multiple other meetups and it was always a few words of exchange. One of my friends (let's call him Dave) was actually sort of close to her and they both used to talk frequently. However, some problems arrived between Dave and missybusy and so Dave reached out to me for help. So, I tried to solve matters by talking to both Missybusy and Dave and this is how I started talking properly to Missybusy. I tried to solve the matter and, in the process, I became friends with Missybusy. And she was really fun to talk to! all this time I perceived her to be quiet and less talkative but when I started to talk to her, I realized that she has an amazing personality besides being so pretty. And around that time my friendship with her strengthened and we used to talk frequently but not every day. And somewhere among these conversations I developed a liking for her and so did she. We used to flirt a lot and it was so fun and pure. This went on for around 3 to 4 months and we continued to flirt and talk. And it was around the time of January when she had returned from the farewell of her high school and she showed me the pictures and she looked gorgeous. An absolute angel. And that night of constant flirting I always kept mentioning about another her in front Missybusy, I did that so she wouldn’t suspect that I liked her. But then she got serious and she confessed that she liked me and I was in a small shock but then I confessed to her as well. At this point one would think that this is it, this is where you guys get into a relationship. But no, I actually asked her to wait for our final exams to be over and even she wanted this. Around One and a half month later we went on our first date. And it was peaceful but it was a very dull date to be honest I took her from one place to another which I feel was terrible. I screwed up the first date. But she told me it was really peaceful and so I didn’t think much of it back then. We kept talking over WhatsApp and Instagram for almost another 2 months but we were not in a relationship yet because she said she wanted time and I believed I shouldn’t pressure her so I kept waiting thinking we have all the time in the world. She was an introvert and she didn’t go out much she liked staying at home more and I sort of found this trait cute, although it meant we didn’t get to meet a lot. 2. Dates and Love In the month of June, we went for another date and spoiler alert, this is the day I fell in love with her. We went to watch a movie- Spiderman, into the spider-verse, and to be honest the movie was decently funny and every time Missybusy laughed I looked at her and adored her smile. I noticed she was shivering, she felt cold because the cinema hall was actually very cold so I wrapped my arm around her so she wouldn’t feel cold and she just came closer and the annoying armrest was like a wall in between. In that moment, I made my purest and most honest wish to God (I’m very spiritual and religious). I asked God to always keep Missybusy happy no matter what. After the movie we exited the hall and we were standing near the exit of the mall and just talking and laughing. It was a blissful moment I can never forget that moment ever. She just jokingly pushed me and I literally fell down and I’ve got to say it was funny as hell. And while I was on the ground I saw her laughing so loudly and openly that I… I also fell in love. I was madly in love. We laughed and talked for another half an hour more and then the both of us went home. While on my way to home I realized that I had fallen for her and everything around me felt so soothing, so amazing and I was so happy. This was my favorite day with her and my best day yet. It was perfect, it was divine it was full of amazement and I for the first time felt what is it like to love. One problem I’ve always had is expressing my feelings. I end up thinking what the other person is going to think about my feelings and I’m going to be judged. But I still told her I love you but she hadn’t said it back yet. Another date we went on that she considered her favorite day with me was when we went to have pizzas. At first, we just walked around, talked a lot and laughed together. Held hands and roamed the paths. Then we came across a pizza shop and decided to have some pizza. Oh boy did I know what the day was going to unfold. She has two siblings so she always had been a fast eater when it came to pizzas and ice creams and at that time, I didn’t know that she ate pizzas so quickly. She finished her whole pizzas before I could finish two slices and to be fair, I’ve always been a slow eater and I didn’t eat very spicy food at the time. So, she was done with her pizza way before I had. She added chili flakes to my pizza slice which slowed my pace even more and she just sat there watching me eat and laughed at me while I was just trying my best to eat the pizza. I realized how much she was enjoying this so I just prolonged this whole thing, I ate slower, I made faces and I even called her a bully and she was laughing so much and, in my heart, I enjoyed that so much. I usually don’t allow people to mess with my food but seeing her laugh I just wanted this moment to last forever. A couple of time later, when everyone was busy filling applications for college, one of our friends (let’s call her jane) hosted a birthday party. The plan was that she will invite us all to our house and then from there we’ll go to a restaurant. So Missybusy and I went to buy gift for our friend and we bought two identical plushies for Jane. Anyways, that day was so special. Because when we all went back home and when Missybusy and I were talking over WhatsApp she said ‘I love you’. For the first time ever, I heard it from her, although it was still on text, I was jumping around screaming in joy and a few tears of joy appeared. I was beaming with joy. I was so happy. This should mean we were finally together, right? Nope. Our colleges were about to start soon and we both were enrolled in a different college, she said she wanted to see how our college life is going to affect our relationship. I didn’t think of it much since what could’ve gone wrong? College started and one month in and I could feel the distance increasing between us and she seemed busier than usual obviously but somewhere because of this she wasn’t giving me much time either. It was a Sunday afternoon when I confronted her about this and she seemed to have realized this as well and she said she’s really sorry about all this. But in the end, she said a relationship doesn’t seem possible. I was devastated but I didn’t shout or yell at her I tried to convince her in everyway possible. But it was futile. It seemed impossible to convince her. And the call ended with a goodbye.

1. The real end

Another problem that I had this whole time was not knowing when to give up trying and give up trying to keep her happy instead of myself. One day later she texted me and she asked if we could meet because she believed I deserved a proper goodbye. And I eventually went to meet her the very next day. And we talked a lot. She said she felt really sorry and she told me that I deserved the best. She told me she was overwhelmed by college; she saw so many faces together and it was difficult for her. I was just super sad but anyhow I controlled myself and I didn’t cry in front of her. But she did, she started crying and I couldn’t hold back then, I hugged her and patted her head telling it’s alright. After she stopped crying, she said she’s sorry and she told me she changed her mind, she had some expectations from a relationship and one of them was physical touch and since we lived far from each other that seemed less likely but she said one has to sacrifice something for love, and I was just confused. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I said I’ll let her know. Less than an hour after we went back to our homes, I messaged her saying that I’m ready and I want to be with her. Because I thought God had given us a second chance and I believed that it is very much possible and I shouldn’t take too long to tell her.
Everything was perfect for about a month. It was the month of October; we had a small quarrel over something and the next day I called her to apologize. But something seemed different, something felt off. She said it’s okay but I could feel something was off. The worst day of the year and the worst time of that day. She told me her brother had run away from their house because of something that happened with him and a girl and their family was in a lot of panic, and she was obviously worried and scared. She prayed to God to return her brother and she promised that she will never date someone again. I stood there, without movement, without words and I realized what it had meant. It meant an official goodbye. Breaking up in a way one could never expect. She told me to promise to not tell this reason for breakup to my friends (common friend group). I was the one who was given up. The call ended with both of us saying I love you but for the last time ever. I wasn’t at home; I was outside in a park. I felt as if someone had stabbed me right through the heart. I couldn’t feel the wind anymore. People seemed to have stopped talking. The sky lost its color, the birds stopped chirping. My whole world had come to a pause. I couldn’t think straight. I returned home acting normal. My father had come to visit, he rarely visits the city because him and my mother are separated so I don’t get to see my whole family together often so I didn’t want to spoil it. My mother and sister knew about Missybusy. Later that night I told my mom and sister that we broke up and my mom was worried but I told her to not worry because I was fine and I never told them the actual reason either, I just keep telling them I got bored of her so that they won’t worry about me, besides I had created such a wonderful image of missybusy for them I thought I should let it be that way. I couldn’t tell me friends what had happened, I didn’t tell my mom and sister what actually happened. I just kept it to myself and it hurt. It hurt really bad. I felt as if I had given her my heart and she shattered it and threw it away. I never hated her for it and I always blamed the circumstances.

1. Life goes on

I was broken. And as any person after a breakup felt sad and sorrowful, so did I. But I kept my emotions bottled and never told anyone the actual reason. I did everything possible to keep myself distracted, I played games for many hours in a day, I talked to multiple people at once, I scrolled Instagram for hours and I was even addicted. I was losing control and I was falling in a huge pit. Days went by, I was in a terrible mental state. I attended every meetup possible even the ones I didn’t feel like going to, I was spending money like I was a millionaire or something, and I was running out of it. In the month of December, I went to visit my father and when he went for work I was alone and bored so I re-installed snapchat and just took a snap and sent it to all, I didn’t realize it went to Missybusy as well. She replied to that snap and asked how I am doing and we started a small conversation, we were just catching up and all. I was still in a poor mental state but honestly it just felt good talking to her again. And I asked her one question- “When exactly did you move on” and she replied she hadn’t. I felt bad because I realized it must’ve been difficult for her as well, college was tough for her. She told me she dated someone for two days. I was devastated yet again. So that promise for which we had to break up meant nothing. But for some reason a part of me was relieved anyway because she didn’t deserve all this. But what about me? I felt self-pity at that point honestly. When she was gone, I felt as if a part of me was taken away. I never asked for this and I never thought that I’ll have to go through all this when I first said I love you to her. Although we decided we should keep talking but I just couldn’t, after everything I could not just see her as a friend, I’ll always see her as my first love. I always try my best to smile and fool around my friends because that's who I was before I met her but I didn’t force it back then. When I returned to my city, I knew I couldn’t let these bad habits be my future. I knew what happened with me wasn’t fair but I couldn’t let that destroy my career or life. I started learning new things. I got into the stock market learnt a bit of trading and made good sum of money. I was still playing games and was still somewhat addicted. But slowly but surely, I was recollecting myself. I tried avoiding meetups with my school friends’ group because they always bring up this topic and I just hated that. I wanted peace. No matter how the days went by the night were always difficult, I didn’t hate her but I hated that the thought of her kept coming in my mind. It was always hard to fall asleep.

1. The Present- I’m still not over her completely. A part of me will always have hope for her to come back even though my mind knows otherwise but the heart is just weird. I met my school group friends after a long time and I felt good. There were four of us (Me, Dave and let’s call the other two Bob and Marley). I get along with Marley very well, he has his college in a different city so whenever he comes here, I make sure to meet him separately. When I met Marley, we went to a café just to have food and talk really, he asked me why does no one know the real reason for my and Missybusy's breakup. I just told him that it’s complicated. Then Marley told me that he heard from Bob and Dave that they told him that Missybusy started to like someone else that is why you both broke up. It was unprecedented to me. I felt weird, I felt a weird sting. I went back home and I messaged her to confront about this, I was taken away by my impulses. She assured me that wasn’t it and then we started talking like normal people do, talked about each other’s friends’, each other’s college life and so on. Then she asked if it’s possible to meet because it had been so long! And I was honestly scared to meet her but I just agreed anyway. 30th of may we met at a bowling and pool café. We sat there and talked about each other’s life. And honestly it seemed God did listen to my wish for keeping her happy because she had made good friends at college and obviously, she did have some problems but overall, she did seem happy and I was happy for that. The moment I saw her again after such a long time I realized nothing changed, she was just as pretty, her eyes were glowing just as usual and her fashion game was on the top. We made several eye contacts throughout and I could see a little pain in her eyes. It was the pain of guilt or pain of just losing, I won’t know for sure. When we were talking about our lives and what all had happened in these 7 and a half months, I felt so peaceful inside. But as soon as I mentioned what all I had to go through after out breakup she kept saying sorry and it felt as if I was just there to make her feel sorry. So, I refrained from talking about that. But then what did I have to talk about? Most of these months I had spent in misery and apart from that I told her about the little breakthroughs that I made in the market and I told her how I made some good friends at college. But that was it really. So, she did most of the talking. I was just listening. I didn’t want to talk about what I had to go through all these months because I felt I’ll just pressure her with more guilt. I didn’t come here to meet her and just listen to her saying sorry. I only cared about her smile.

My failure of expressing came back to me, I couldn’t tell her that I still loved her, I couldn’t tell her I still miss her. I just listened to her and laughed with her. She asked me once more before we left the park where we were walking at the moment, can we still we be friends? I was hesitant. But I told her we couldn’t. I told her we won’t be able to give time to this friendship and besides I have my competitive exams in December so I need to focus on that. But that’s just a part of it, I can never view her as my friend but always as the person I loved.
When we exited the park, we were standing near her car (oh she drives great by the way!). I told her to go while I wait for my uber. I pushed her away (not physically), I kept telling her to go away. That was it, no hugs just goodbyes. I wanted to hug her but I didn’t want the part of me that still had hope to grow. As she drove away, I realized in the end, I did end up hurting her by telling her to just go away. I came back home, acted normal as usual. Lied to my mom and sister again and told them the 'meeting was fine but it was boring'. The next day when I was home alone. I burst out crying. I never cried this much before. Only I know what I have lost. I didn’t want the part of me that had hope to grow but I also didn’t want it to just die. I cried for hours until eventually I washed my face and waited for my mom and sister to return. Missybusy was gone. I know what I’ve lost. And I blame myself for it. I can physically feel the pain in my heart at this point. It hurts so much. I wish I never met her after she told me a relationship isn’t possible. I wish I was never in love. I wish I never love again. I wish to be never this vulnerable again. I had gone through so much pain in those months and tried to act normal in front of everyone. I can’t tell how many thoughts crossed my mind daily. I just kept it bottled up within me. In the end I think God doesn’t like my heart. When I was in my mother’s womb it was found that I had a very faint heartbeat. As soon as I was born, I was taken into the ICU for surgery. Five years later it was found I have a low BPM. And so many years later my heart was broken into pieces. God doesn’t like my heart.

Hi, anonymous account due to privacy.
I'm at my wits end, I have been having these types of arguments with my now ex gf for the best part of 8 years. I come away feeling like an abusive monster, my self confidence battered, my entire personality in question. I need advice about whether she is right about the way I am, or if she's the one with the issue.
For the last 8 years or so these types of arguments started at least once a week and can last 3 to 5 days. This is a shorter one but the general feeling of this argument is identical to all others before it. Sure, there have been arguments before where I've been at fault, and her clearly at fault. I will admit to it if i do something wrong.
Please can someone settle my mind, one way or the other, and tell me if I'm really the monster she makes me out to be.
[01/06, 11:03] Me: Promised [son] I'd take him down seafront tomorrow and park. So can you make sure his earphones are packed, and if poss some suncream just in case? Hope you're OK
[01/06, 11:03] Her: Shit. This is what I’ve been explaining that I’m going to keep him away from!
[01/06, 11:03] Her: The noise
[01/06, 11:04] Her: This is why we are in today. He isn’t going to cope with the show. I took him last year and it was so awful for him
[01/06, 11:05] Me: Oh. OK. X
[01/06, 11:06] Me: Oops sorry
[01/06, 11:06] Me: I won't then.
[01/06, 11:06] Her: No I’m sorry it’s not you it’s the stress I’ve had trying to sort out my family staying away and not dragging us down
[01/06, 11:06] Her: If you want to take him, then you take him
[01/06, 11:06] Me: He was quite excited about it the other day.
[01/06, 11:07] Her: Just will 100% make sure that I’ve packed his headphones, blankies and that
[01/06, 11:07] Me: But I understand. It's fine.
[01/06, 11:07] Her: Yeah sorry I am a bit stressed this morning
[01/06, 11:07] Her: No [myname] if you want to take him, that’s alright, he’s your son too
[01/06, 11:07] Her: I don’t make all the rules and run everything
[01/06, 11:07] Me: No I didn't want to make it harder for you dealing with it before or after.
[01/06, 11:08] Her: You got a brain….Just make sure he’s actually alright down there and not struggling with the sensory. It’s because it’s crowded and then on top of that with the plane noise
[01/06, 11:08] Her: They practiced yesterday and he shit himself here
[01/06, 11:08] Her: I asked him if he wanted to see the planes and he said no
[01/06, 11:08] Her: No I don’t want you to think I’m just telling you what to do
[01/06, 11:09] Me: No need to say things like I've got a brain, it isn't about that at all. I just said I won't take him because I'm trying to be considerate to you after you've said it'll screw him up. Again trying to come from a place of goodness and somehow I get it wrong
[01/06, 11:09] Her: I’m not at all. I probably didn’t explain it in the best way. Just had [son] going at me all morning. Fucking foul mood. He don’t want to go out.
[01/06, 11:10] Her: No I didn’t mean it like that
[01/06, 11:10] Her: Sorry I’m not doing this. I’ve just bloody explained how I didn’t mean anything by any of that
[01/06, 11:12] Her: No I know you’re coming from a place of kindness. But
[01/06, 11:12] Her: I’m not going to feel like I’m bossing you about, because of the way I wrote my message
[01/06, 11:13] Me: Can't you stop and think for a second that I wrote that WHILE you were writing
[01/06, 11:13] Her: Yeah
[01/06, 11:13] Her: I said sorry.
[01/06, 11:17] Me: You've just made me out to be horrible again, saying things like "not doing this". When all I did was try to be nice. And when I try to reply you send a dozen messages and everything just gets mixed up. I wasn't being horrible or anything in the first place. I'll leave you be, but please bear in mind i wasn't being horrible or funny or anything at all and I wasn't "doing this". Hope you manage to settle down a bit and he behaves better.
[01/06, 11:17] Her: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to
[01/06, 11:18] Her: I think some times that’s a anxiety response
[01/06, 11:18] Her: Yeah and you know what else.. I am me. I send a lot of messages. I own that. Certainly won’t change
[01/06, 11:19] Her: That’s good you’ve probably got other people to talk to now as well. Pleased for you.
[01/06, 11:20] Her: Also can I just say, your message, is a pure example of what I went through last year. When I didn’t say anything wrong.. and I got told very often that you’re not ‘doing this’ now. Hard isn’t it when you read that? Welcome to the world I lived in last year.
[01/06, 11:20] Her: Funny isn’t it, when you’re wanting to talk to me and be with me.. you made sure you were messaging about [son] frequently. Now your head is turned, you’ve not really asked
[01/06, 11:38] Me: Pardon? I do ask about [son]. I've been busy as hell at work as it's half term, haven't been able to ask much at all. I asked yesterday about him. I saw him the day before that but asked about him that evening. I haven't really had a chance today because when I messages about tomorrow a different discussion started. So I don't know where you get your idea of that from. I didn't do anything at all tbh.
[01/06, 11:38] Her: I did say, that I didn’t mean to come across like that. You chose not to listen
[01/06, 11:39] Her: No no that’s fine
[01/06, 11:39] Her: I see what’s going on here tbh. It’s just so you. Find someone else to talk to, instead of healing and that, suddenly change energy and moan to other person about me 👌🏻
[01/06, 11:39] Her: That’s fine do what you want. If it’s true cool, if it’s not, okay 🤷🏻‍♀️
[01/06, 11:40] Me: It's actually a bit hurtful that you said about me not asking about [son].
[01/06, 11:40] Me: Huh what are you talking about
[01/06, 11:40] Me: You've completely lost me. What I'm doing here? What?
[01/06, 11:41] Her: It really dosent matter
[01/06, 11:41] Me: It's so me? I am utterly lost. You're making me out to be doing something and I really don't know what
[01/06, 11:41] Her: Yep course it’s hurtful. Everything what comes out my mouth is hurtful to you.
[01/06, 11:41] Her: I read energy
[01/06, 11:41] Her: You got someone else to talk to
[01/06, 11:41] Her: Hence why I don’t hear from you no more
[01/06, 11:41] Me: Have i? Who?
[01/06, 11:41] Her: Good for you
[01/06, 11:42] Me: What?
[01/06, 11:42] Her: Probably some woman who thinks you’ve been done wrong by me
[01/06, 11:42] Her: And she’ll tell you all the ways that you weren’t in the wrong. And I’ll be slagged off. Which is fine by the way.
[01/06, 11:42] Me: I haven't spoken to anyone other than my mum on messenger! And it's been super busy at work so I've not been on my phone!
[01/06, 11:42] Her: 🤷🏻‍♀️
[01/06, 11:42] Her: Just saying
[01/06, 11:42] Her: Didn’t say I was right
[01/06, 11:43] Me: My mum came down here yesterday on a coach trip and I met her at lunchtime
[01/06, 11:43] Her: That’s really nice I’m pleased
[01/06, 11:43] Her: I’m glad you saw ur mum
[01/06, 11:43] Her: Is she ok
[01/06, 11:43] Me: No you're not bloody right. But you're making me out to be doing something that I'm not.
[01/06, 11:43] Her: I did just say.. I could be wrong
[01/06, 11:43] Me: You're telling me what I'm doing. When you're wrong.
[01/06, 11:43] Her: Fair enough
[01/06, 11:43] Her: Listen to me
[01/06, 11:43] Her: I said I could be wrong
[01/06, 11:44] Her: I did originally say I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sound d like I was telling you what to do with [son]. But you managed to make something out of it by saying I didn’t need to speak like that. I’m well aware.. hence the messages before of me apologising..
[01/06, 11:45] Her: What annoys me is.. you having such a shit reaction to me saying I’m not doing this now. When I really did get laid into when I got upset for saying the same thing last year??
[01/06, 11:47] Me: Right so like I said before, I was writing my message out WHILE you were writing more messages. Hence me never being able to get any point or explanation across to you because by the time I say something you've already said more so what i say is either irrelevant or misunderstood.
[01/06, 11:48] Her: Okay
[01/06, 11:48] Her: Same
[01/06, 12:03] Me: I always try to read what you say. But it's not my fault if i can't write a relevant reply back before you've written multiple messages since I started. I had absolutely no issue with you at all and I've just been made out to be doing all sorts this morning and it's just not fair because I haven't done anything.
[01/06, 12:04] Her: I have adhd. I’m not explaining myself again
[01/06, 12:04] Her: I said you hadn’t done anything
[01/06, 12:04] Me: Not asking yourself to. Just explaining what it's like my position. Or am I not allowed?
[01/06, 12:04] Her: I just said I felt bad for coming across bossy. I dunno you apologise for the way you are, and it’s still not enough 😎
[01/06, 12:06] Her: Can we just stop
[01/06, 12:06] Her: We’ve both explained
[01/06, 12:06] Her: We both understand. Let’s not keep trying to get our last word in
[01/06, 12:06] Me: I know I apologise for the way I am and it's not enough. Never is. I understand you apologised.
[01/06, 12:06] Her: See now you repeating my messages back to me. Heal your shadow self.
[01/06, 12:06] Me: Yes I'd like to stop.
[01/06, 12:06] Her: Trust me
[01/06, 12:06] Her: Ok. I won’t message you again then
[01/06, 12:07] Me: Huh? You literally just said I apologise and it's not enough. I was just agreeing.
[01/06, 12:07] Me: This has nothing to do with healing myself I literally haven't done anything wrong.
[01/06, 12:12] Me: Fine, blame me for it all and blank me as if im the evil monster. Have a nice day. I didn't do anything wrong in the first place.
[01/06, 12:17] Her: Oh okay
[01/06, 12:17] Her: I haven’t blamed you for anything mr.
[01/06, 12:18] Her: I just apologised for perhaps coming across agressively. I’ve just spoken to [son], we are going to listen to the places from outside the front door. I mentioned about tomorrow with you, and he got a bit worried about the planes. So perhaps give me some credit for trying to encourage him to try. I do give you a lot of credit, and it’s often missed and forgotten about
[01/06, 12:19] Her: This whole way of you messaging is completely different tho to the person I spoke to the other day 🤔 just different eh
[01/06, 12:27] Me: How am I different? I'm just me. But you are the one that started this thing off by borderline insulting me and I'm supposed to just lie down and take it? Then I'm a shit person for trying my best to explain myself? I havent said a single bad thing about you yet I'm getting accused of being different? When I've explained to you, work has been super busy. I get the feeling, and have pretty much had it spelled out that you don't want to hear from me anyway so I can't exactly keep bombarding you with messages can I? Because then I'll just be annoying and you'll get pissed off hearing anything from me. I have literally done nothing wrong this morning. I react to your messages which are semi aggressive and your accusations towards me and I get told I'm being shit basically. All I wanted was to ask about [son] about tomorrow and I even said I hope you're OK. Was not being any different to anything, at least until i started having to explain myself.
[01/06, 12:31] Her: Honestly is that the best you have? I apologised. You’ve just kicked in back in my face. I choose not to engage in this back and forth. You need to learn to read, and also take knowledge in what I say to you.
I told you I apologised.. I said I am very stressed this morning. Very. But still you have told me yet again I was agressive.. we know? I’ve said that? Why keep telling me? My apology not good enough?
[01/06, 12:31] Her: Ending this conversation now tbh. I don’t need to be continuously told that I’m such an awful person. I’m really not. Not at all. I’m one of the good ones :)

Met guy online who was handsome, charming, and intelligent. Despite our great initial connection and deep convos, things were odd.Distant after dates, never checked if I got home safe. took days to reply with formal messages.never lovebombed,was affectionate in person, yet unemotional and stern at times.prioritized his appearance and often talked about himself.After staying over, he'd act cold and leave early. struggled with empathy.fired because he told his bosses they can’t run a business. Then he ended things and comes back to be friends all on his terms

23F here. I was dating a guy, essentially a situationship from 2020-2023. In May 2023, we fell out & started seeing each other again in July. But we've been fwb rather than dating. Around Sept, he lmk there is a girl in another state that he's dating long distance & wants to be serious with. We still kept seeing each other b/c he said he was still "single". I believe he has been in a relationship with her since June 2023 but he did not finally claim her as his girlfriend to me until February of this year.
Anyways I still continued to see him despite knowing about the girl. I thought to myself well he was mine first. Very childish on my end, I know. I remember in December he told me was on vacay with this friends. The day after he came back, he was asking to see me. I found his gf's page a couple months ago & turns out, he was on a baecation with her. He was literally in Mexico with her for a week, just to cheat on her the next day.
Last week, when we were together, he even asked me for an orgy ( I said NO). So, I am sure he's sleeping with other girls too.
Yesterday morning, he asked me to come over. I said no bc of work, but what about this weekend? He said he'll be busy over the weekend but he can see me next week. I had an intuition that the girl was flying in this weekend so I check her IG & she's posting in his car. Mind you this is her birthday weekend. In the past, I have thought about telling her, but it was out of anger towards him so I chose not to. However, this time I genuinely feel bad for her. She's flying to her boyfriend's state to celebrate her birthday & little does she know her man was asking to sleep with me the same day she's flying in.
He has been sleeping with me for the entirety of their relationship. Should I tell the girlfriend over Instagram? Should I tell her from a fake page or my real one? I plan to tell the full story & acknowledge the parts that make me look bad as well. I can attach our messages for proof.

I always try to keep my phone silent because I work in a office with a lot of people around.
But because of that I frequently lost calls and messages (whatsapp and ms teams) from my boss, which is making me look real bad to him.
So, I'm looking for a way to be able to respond him with no delay, but without making my phone playing sounds to anything.
One detail is that it is a company's phone, and they block bixby, for example.

23F here. I was dating a guy, essentially a situationship from 2020-2023. In May 2023, we fell out & started seeing each other again in July. But we've been fwb rather than dating. Around Sept, he lmk there is a girl in another state that he's dating long distance & wants to be serious with. We still kept seeing each other b/c he said he was still "single". I believe he has been in a relationship with her since June 2023 but he did not finally claim her as his girlfriend to me until February of this year.
Anyways I still continued to see him despite knowing about the girl. I thought to myself well he was mine first. Very childish on my end, I know. I remember in December he told me was on vacay with this friends. The day after he came back, he was asking to see me. I found his gf's page a couple months ago & turns out, he was on a baecation with her. He was literally in Mexico with her for a week, just to cheat on her the next day.
Last week, when we were together, he even asked me for an orgy ( I said NO). So, I am sure he's sleeping with other girls too.
Yesterday morning, he asked me to come over. I said no bc of work, but what about this weekend? He said he'll be busy over the weekend but he can see me next week. I had an intuition that the girl was flying in this weekend so I check her IG & she's posting in his car. Mind you this is her birthday weekend. In the past, I have thought about telling her, but it was out of anger towards him so I chose not to. However, this time I genuinely feel bad for her. She's flying to her boyfriend's state to celebrate her birthday & little does she know her man was asking to sleep with me the same day she's flying in.
He has been sleeping with me for the entirety of their relationship. Should I tell the girlfriend over Instagram? Should I tell her from a fake page or my real one? I plan to tell the full story & acknowledge the parts that make me look bad as well. I can attach our messages for proof.

Here's a big fat receipt that should be added to the archive, I pulled an all-nighter compiling this into one post. Major credit goes to the vigilant members of this sub & the great information I was able to scour through .
Congrats on identifying Drake's bad behavior with women. I was unsure about the best way to present this because it requires some delicacy & subtlety. During one of my recent deep dives for another piece, I discovered something quite unsettling. I'm aware that there will be a lot of criticism to my post, but I had to say it. People will tell me it's nothing, but Drake's actions speak for themselves.
Before jumping in, I don’tunderstand why this behaviour is getting unchecked. My narrative is completely alleged & all of this is public information.
Let's start from the beginning shall we…
May, 2010: Drake calls a girl on stage fondles the girl and kisses her neck and the crowd cheers along with it. In his defense, he doesn't ask the girl her age but how does it make it any better. He still fondled her without asking for consent in front of a crowd of people.
When the girl tells him that she's only 17 he tries to remedy the situation by saying "how the hell she looks like this" and "you thick". He jokes he can't go to jail and the crowd cheers along with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp5b9dW1nrA
If this was the only time that Drake did something like this, I would have called it an honest mistake but sadly it's not it.
Year 2016: https://mtonews.com/drake-groomed-hailey-baldwin-at-age-14-then-started-dating-her-at-18
Drake knows Hailey Bieber(nee Baldwin) when she was 14 years old and has been a "good friend" to her. They know each other 'cause Hailey is bestfriends with Kendall and Kylie.
In 2016, Hailey was just nineteen where as Drake was twenty-nine. It's legal but here is the deal. Drake knows her since she was fourteen and Drake is good friends with Justin Bieber, Hailey's then ex boyfriend. Him going after Hailey immediately after her breakup with Justin makes zero sense, ethics wise.https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/drake-is-pursuing-hailey-baldwin-w20858I mean why would someone go after his friends ex who's 10 years his junior?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-90gjG044IQ
Drake also got himself a similar "h" charm necklace that Hailey had a penchant for wearing. Ignore Justin in the background for a second and here it is. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/V_91WJgGVQw
Year 2018: Drake and Bella Harris met when she was sixteen. Her dad's a famous producer. https://www.kanyetothe.com/threads/drake-and-bella-harris-timeline.8088605/
When she turned eighteen Drake rented an entire restaurant for her birthday. Um what? I get that they can be friends but she's just 18 and he's 31. https://www.eonline.com/news/968171/drake-and-rumored-girlfriend-bella-harris-enjoy-intimate-dinner https://www.wmagazine.com/story/bella-harris-who-is-drake-girlfriend
Also, in 2018 Drake went after the weeknd's then ex girlfriend Bella Hadid. Abel and Drake have been mates and collaborates since 2010. Drake helped Abel to step in the spotlight while Abel helped with writing Drake's album, Take care and also lend his vocals.
After her split from the weeknd and around 2018, Drake threw Bella her 21st birthday party. Looks like drizzy really likes throwing birthday parties. https://www.elle.com/culture/music/a21999080/drake-bella-hadid-romance-references-in-finesse-lyrics/
Take note that this has happened two times where Drake has gone for his mates exes and I know Hollywood's chill with it but this just feels emotionally predatory. It's not like he doesn't know these girls, he knows them since they were teens. It's not random.
Year 2019: Billie Eilish defends her texting Drake. Drake's 33 and she's just 18. She even comments that Drake's at a level that he doesn't need to be nice to her but that's a whole different level of power imbalance. https://www.buzzfeed.com/terrycartebillie-eilish-revealed-that-drake-texts-her-creepy
Maybe I'm reaching and they are artists and Drake is interested artistically and helps her with the industry but it just weird.
Millie Bobby Brown: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYZPKh74Li8
I can't with this interaction. For one second I was ready to ignore all of the above but this? A 33 year old texting a 15 year old girl that he misses her? and talks about boys? Tf is wrong with people justifying this? People are saying it's innocent but she was 15 and I don't think any grown man should be talking about these things with a 15 year old. Also, Millie posting this https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2018/09/210592/millie-bobby-brown-defends-friendship-with-drake
There is also this thing with Drake and the Kar-jenners and I don't know what to think: https://people.com/tv/kylie-jenner-drake-spending-romantic-time-togethe
https://twitter.com/WizMonifaaa/status/1467919407095681028/photo/4
https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.56014/title.drake-does-damage-control-after-referring-to-kylie-jenner-as-a-side-piece-on-old-song
Drake performed at Kylie's sweet 16:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWX-I6n-AQg
I wonder why no one is calling this out in light of the overall situation. Do other people observe this too but are they ignoring it? or am I overanalyzing this? I'm honestly not sure if this is predatory behavior at this point or if something is being misinterpreted since Drake is in the spotlight. Drake is a wealthy man, so what is going on with his management? If all that is occurring is coincidental and benign, then why are they allowing this to happen? To be honest, I'm not sure about it. I just wonder what Drake is doing with all these horrible stories coming out of the industry. The narrative around him changed over night it seems even though a lot of this has been known, but many just turned the other cheek.
Taking Drake down is just cutting out one head from hydra & another will likely take his place but what it WILL do is send a message to the higher ups that we aren’t slow & it’s just a matter of time until the truth comes out & people will have to face the music.

Hello, Community!
A little over a month ago we released a poll asking whether you’d be interested in having post flairs on the subreddit. The results were very clear: You supported post flairs, but they had to be optional.
Having optional flairs means that it’s up to you to decide whether you want to use them. We encourage everyone to do so but rest assured that you will not be reprimanded for not using them. The flairs are simply to make it easier for people to filter through the content they want to see.

Post flairs on Skyrim

We have introduced the following post flairs:

• Discussion: For general discussions about the game. This could be discussions about your favorite questline, character, item, etc.
• Question: Similar to the above but used with the intention of asking for help related to gameplay. Maybe you’re wondering how to level a skill most efficiently, how to make lots of money, how to defeat a certain boss, etc.
• Bug Help: A flair to show that you need assistance with a game bug.
  • Note: The UESP Wiki contains many lists of bug fixes. Every quest has its own dedicated page too. If you need help solving a bug, consider checking the relevant page too. For example, if you run into one of the many bugs in the Blood on the Ice quest, go here and look for the "Bugs" section.
• Lore: For discussions about the amazing lore found in the Elder Scrolls universe! How did the Dwemer disappear? What really happened to the ancient Snow Elves? Who was Talos really?
• Arts/Crafts: For you to show off your crafts! Arts, tattoos, woodworking, etc. Everything goes as long as it's directly related to Skyrim. Do keep rule 10 (Limit Your Self Promotion) in mind, though.
• Screenshots/Clips: A flair for posts featuring game screenshots and clips. Show off your character, your cool items, or how you’ve killed Nazeem for the 10th time (today).
• Modding: For posts that deal with modding. This could be asking for recommendations, posting reviews, or general discussions about modding.
  • Be aware that if you seek modding support (e.g. solving conflicts or incompatibilities), skyrimmods is a better place to post. It’s totally fine to ask for support here, but the modding subreddit is generally more knowledgeable about modding. You’re more likely to get professional help there from people that have the necessary experience and know-how. Posts with the “Modding” flair will be met by an AutoMod message echoing this.

Feedback

If you have any feedback on post flairs, feel free to comment below or write us through Modmail! We’re open to ideas (or criticism, should you have any). We'll make sure to do our part in monitoring the use of flairs and conversations about them.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!

Hey there, I need some advice on whether it's appropriate or just absurd to send a birthday letter and a small gift to my ex-girlfriend. Our situation is a bit complicated, so here's some background:
My ex and I had a relationship that spanned two significant periods. We met, got together, separated (without discussing it at all; we just drifted apart), and then almost a year later, we got back together. We broke up for the second time about three months ago.

• In our first relationship, we had significant lack of communication. I was very avoidant and stressed, which made me distant even though I wanted to be with her and truly loved her. She tried to connect with me, but I just couldn't reciprocate. After our first breakup, I realized what went wrong and started to work on myself, digging deep into my issues and aiming for personal growth. She unknowingly pushed me towards this self-improvement journey.
• We rekindled our relationship around six months ago. This time, I was the one trying to connect, but she had been through a lot in the past year, including a traumatic event, which I won't go into detail about. She wanted the relationship mentally but was emotionally too hurt and tired to commit fully. She has a lot on her plate: a full-time job, started her Bachelor’s studies, and has issues at home with her parents. After two months, she chose not to continue the relationship, feeling it wasn’t fair to me as she couldn’t be fully present, although she saw that I was willing to stay, fight for us, be patient with her, and sit in the mud with her.
• During our breakup talk, I gave her a therapeutic gift so she can draw in her alone time or whenever she likes (she loves to draw but didn’t have many opportunities to do so in the past year). We ended things positively, holding hands while walking around the park and saying "see you later" instead of a formal goodbye.
• I've been focusing on personal growth since then and am not looking to get back together. I genuinely see it as better for her to have the time to heal and get stronger. I wish her all the best because she deserves to be happy.

Her birthday is coming up, and I want to send her a short positive WhatsApp message to congratulate her and say that I've left her something small in her mailbox, hoping it will bring a smile to her face. The gift I want to make it handmade, along with a letter expressing my congratulations and appreciation.
My Conflict: I don't want to overstep any boundaries or make her feel uncomfortable. My wish is simply to make her something special. I aim to respect her space while showing this kind gesture. However, I worry about the potential of triggering negative emotions or discomfort.
So, the question is: Should I go ahead with this, or would it be better to keep my distance and let her celebrate without any of my input?
Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.
P.S.: I'm ready for any feedback, and if I seem like I was or am a jerk, believe me, I have heard it all from myself. I really don't like the version of myself from the past year and there is really no excuse for my actions and the way I neglected her and our relationship. I also see things I still need to improve.
TL;DR: Ex-girlfriend's birthday is coming up. We broke up three months ago after a complicated relationship. I want to deliver her a handmade gift and letter but worry it might be inappropriate or make her uncomfortable. Should I go ahead or keep my distance and just send a normal message not too long and not too short?
Thank you in advance!!

I started a new job at a plant nursery about a month ago. I did disclose my few limitations with my knee as it's a physical position, but I had not discussed my disability. I have a SDiT, she's 9 months old. I had picked this job partly because i thought it would be a good fit for someone with a SD - it's outside, mostly on grass, I don't use machinery all day, etc. I brought up the dog a couple weeks ago once I was getting settled in, and asked if I could gradually introduce her to work on the lighter days - I'm not going to jump straight into telling them that I'm bringing her, as she's obviously still in training and Im trying to be polite about this. The boss said sure we could talk about it. Today is nice weather and I would be mostly waiting on customers and some watering, so I thought it would be a good chance to ask again. Then proceeds this conversation. Feeling really frustrated at the adversity to the dog. I also didn't say I HAD to have her today, just reminding him that I think a day like today IS the easier day to be working with my SD, compared to a day where we're loading and unloading plants etc. This guy loves dogs too, but he's quite old and I think he is still looking at it from more of a "bringing my pet" perspective. He had mentioned a concern about her running out the driveway and it o the road, like I guess he thought I would just have her running around loose and playing the whole time? I was like dude no lmao, shed either be on a handsfree leash, tied in the shade if I'm busy, or on a close off leash heel. I know I just need to have a more in depth discussion with the boss, and mention why I'm training a SD/that I'd used one for almost seven years, etc. This is only a part time job and I'm going back to college for a new degree this fall, so I don't have too much riding on this job, but I really want to make this work. Any advice on broaching the subject gently and explaining why I am comfortable handling a dog while working? I really don't want to bring up the threat of "in a few more months when shes trained on specific tasks you can't refuse us" .
I can't post pics so here's the messages:
Me - Morning, would today be an ok day to bring the pup?
Boss - i think a week day would be better...I'm hoping to be busier-more customers to wait on today
Me - Ok. I think working with customers is the easy part though, it would be harder to have her if I was using equipment or driving up and down the property alot.
Boss - Let's do this.. let's talk Monday about this. So it's ok if you want to take today to stay home with the pup, I understand,no worries!
Me - If you don't want me in today that's fine, but if there's work for me to do I can come.
Boss - I dot have any specific projects today, rain coming (supposedly) 2 or so... I think we'll be ok today.
Maybe he was trying to be supportive of if I needed to be with her for some reason, but feels more like he's just so uncomfortable about the idea and he didn't want to work with me after having told me no today????

 ---- Minecraft Crash Report ---- // You should try our sister game, Minceraft! Time: 2024-06-01 06:30:21 Description: mouseClicked event handler java.lang.NoSuchMethodError: 'net.minecraft.class_339 net.minecraft.class_442.method_25411(net.minecraft.class_339)' at net.minecraft.class_442.handler$dom000$gbfabrictools$addConfigScreen(class_442.java:1530) at net.minecraft.class_442.method_25426(class_442.java:156) at net.minecraft.class_437.method_25423(class_437.java:297) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1507(class_310.java:1080) at net.minecraft.class_8032.method_49296(class_8032.java:98) at net.minecraft.class_8032.method_25419(class_8032.java:90) at net.minecraft.class_8032.method_48639(class_8032.java:74) at net.minecraft.class_4185.method_25306(class_4185.java:94) at net.minecraft.class_4264.method_25348(class_4264.java:56) at net.minecraft.class_339.method_25402(class_339.java:189) at net.minecraft.class_4069.method_25402(class_4069.java:38) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_1611(class_312.java:98) at net.minecraft.class_437.method_25412(class_437.java:409) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_1601(class_312.java:98) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_22686(class_312.java:169) at net.minecraft.class_1255.execute(class_1255.java:102) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_22684(class_312.java:169) at org.lwjgl.glfw.GLFWMouseButtonCallbackI.callback(GLFWMouseButtonCallbackI.java:43) at org.lwjgl.system.JNI.invokeV(Native Method) at org.lwjgl.glfw.GLFW.glfwPollEvents(GLFW.java:3403) at com.mojang.blaze3d.systems.RenderSystem.pollEvents(RenderSystem.java:201) at com.mojang.blaze3d.systems.RenderSystem.flipFrame(RenderSystem.java:219) at net.minecraft.class_1041.method_15998(class_1041.java:288) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1523(class_310.java:1241) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1514(class_310.java:802) at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(Main.java:250) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.game.minecraft.MinecraftGameProvider.launch(MinecraftGameProvider.java:470) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.Knot.launch(Knot.java:74) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClient.main(KnotClient.java:23) A detailed walkthrough of the error, its code path and all known details is as follows: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Head -- Thread: Render thread Stacktrace: at net.minecraft.class_442.handler$dom000$gbfabrictools$addConfigScreen(class_442.java:1530) at net.minecraft.class_442.method_25426(class_442.java:156) at net.minecraft.class_437.method_25423(class_437.java:297) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1507(class_310.java:1080) at net.minecraft.class_8032.method_49296(class_8032.java:98) at net.minecraft.class_8032.method_25419(class_8032.java:90) at net.minecraft.class_8032.method_48639(class_8032.java:74) at net.minecraft.class_4185.method_25306(class_4185.java:94) at net.minecraft.class_4264.method_25348(class_4264.java:56) at net.minecraft.class_339.method_25402(class_339.java:189) at net.minecraft.class_4069.method_25402(class_4069.java:38) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_1611(class_312.java:98) at net.minecraft.class_437.method_25412(class_437.java:409) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_1601(class_312.java:98) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_22686(class_312.java:169) at net.minecraft.class_1255.execute(class_1255.java:102) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_22684(class_312.java:169) at org.lwjgl.glfw.GLFWMouseButtonCallbackI.callback(GLFWMouseButtonCallbackI.java:43) at org.lwjgl.system.JNI.invokeV(Native Method) at org.lwjgl.glfw.GLFW.glfwPollEvents(GLFW.java:3403) at com.mojang.blaze3d.systems.RenderSystem.pollEvents(RenderSystem.java:201) at com.mojang.blaze3d.systems.RenderSystem.flipFrame(RenderSystem.java:219) -- Affected screen -- Details: Screen name: net.minecraft.class_8032 Stacktrace: at net.minecraft.class_437.method_25412(class_437.java:409) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_1601(class_312.java:98) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_22686(class_312.java:169) at net.minecraft.class_1255.execute(class_1255.java:102) at net.minecraft.class_312.method_22684(class_312.java:169) at org.lwjgl.glfw.GLFWMouseButtonCallbackI.callback(GLFWMouseButtonCallbackI.java:43) at org.lwjgl.system.JNI.invokeV(Native Method) at org.lwjgl.glfw.GLFW.glfwPollEvents(GLFW.java:3403) at com.mojang.blaze3d.systems.RenderSystem.pollEvents(RenderSystem.java:201) at com.mojang.blaze3d.systems.RenderSystem.flipFrame(RenderSystem.java:219) at net.minecraft.class_1041.method_15998(class_1041.java:288) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1523(class_310.java:1241) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1514(class_310.java:802) at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(Main.java:250) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.game.minecraft.MinecraftGameProvider.launch(MinecraftGameProvider.java:470) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.Knot.launch(Knot.java:74) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClient.main(KnotClient.java:23) -- Last reload -- Details: Reload number: 1 Reload reason: initial Finished: Yes Packs: vanilla, fabric, Moonlight Mods Dynamic Assets, Essential Assets, essential Stacktrace: at net.minecraft.class_6360.method_36565(class_6360.java:49) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1587(class_310.java:2413) at net.minecraft.class_310.method_1514(class_310.java:821) at net.minecraft.client.main.Main.main(Main.java:250) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.game.minecraft.MinecraftGameProvider.launch(MinecraftGameProvider.java:470) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.Knot.launch(Knot.java:74) at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClient.main(KnotClient.java:23) -- System Details -- Details: Minecraft Version: 1.20.1 Minecraft Version ID: 1.20.1 Operating System: Windows 11 (amd64) version 10.0 Java Version: 17.0.8, Microsoft Java VM Version: OpenJDK 64-Bit Server VM (mixed mode), Microsoft Memory: 16734346176 bytes (15959 MiB) / 24092082176 bytes (22976 MiB) up to 40869298176 bytes (38976 MiB) CPUs: 16 Processor Vendor: AuthenticAMD Processor Name: AMD Ryzen 7 5800X 8-Core Processor Identifier: AuthenticAMD Family 25 Model 33 Stepping 2 Microarchitecture: Zen 3 Frequency (GHz): 4.20 Number of physical packages: 1 Number of physical CPUs: 8 Number of logical CPUs: 16 Graphics card #0 name: Virtual Desktop Monitor Graphics card #0 vendor: Virtual Desktop, Inc. Graphics card #0 VRAM (MB): 0.00 Graphics card #0 deviceId: unknown Graphics card #0 versionInfo: DriverVersion=10.54.50.446 Graphics card #1 name: Parsec Virtual Display Adapter Graphics card #1 vendor: Parsec Cloud, Inc. Graphics card #1 VRAM (MB): 0.00 Graphics card #1 deviceId: unknown Graphics card #1 versionInfo: DriverVersion=0.45.0.0 Graphics card #2 name: NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090 Graphics card #2 vendor: NVIDIA (0x10de) Graphics card #2 VRAM (MB): 24095.00 Graphics card #2 deviceId: 0x2684 Graphics card #2 versionInfo: DriverVersion=32.0.15.5585 Memory slot #0 capacity (MB): 16384.00 Memory slot #0 clockSpeed (GHz): 3.60 Memory slot #0 type: DDR4 Memory slot #1 capacity (MB): 16384.00 Memory slot #1 clockSpeed (GHz): 3.60 Memory slot #1 type: DDR4 Memory slot #2 capacity (MB): 16384.00 Memory slot #2 clockSpeed (GHz): 3.60 Memory slot #2 type: DDR4 Memory slot #3 capacity (MB): 16384.00 Memory slot #3 clockSpeed (GHz): 3.60 Memory slot #3 type: DDR4 Virtual memory max (MB): 85532.29 Virtual memory used (MB): 51955.71 Swap memory total (MB): 20096.00 Swap memory used (MB): 74.20 JVM Flags: 4 total; -XX:HeapDumpPath=MojangTricksIntelDriversForPerformance_javaw.exe_minecraft.exe.heapdump -Xss1M -Xmx38976m -Xms256m Fabric Mods: ad_astra: Ad Astra 1.15.5 ad_astra_giselle_addon: Ad Astra: Giselle Addon 5.6 additionallanterns: Additional Lanterns 1.1.1a advancednetherite: Advanced Netherite 2.1.0-1.20.1 adventurez: AdventureZ 1.4.20 alloy_forgery: Alloy Forgery 2.1.2+1.20 another_furniture: Another Furniture 1.20.1-3.0.1 appleskin: AppleSkin 2.5.1+mc1.20 archers: Archers (RPG Series) 1.2.1+1.20.1 com_github_zsoltmolnarrr_tinyconfig: TinyConfig 2.3.2 structure_pool_api: Structure Pool API 1.0+1.20.1 architectury: Architectury 9.2.14 archon: Archon 0.6.2 cardinal-components-base: Cardinal Components API (base) 5.2.2 cardinal-components-entity: Cardinal Components API (entities) 5.2.2 saflib: SafLib 1.1.0 artifacts: Artifacts 9.5.7 expandability: ExpandAbility 9.0.4 step-height-entity-attribute: Step Height Entity Attribute 1.2.0 attributefix: AttributeFix 21.0.4 azurelibarmor: AzureLib Armor 2.0.3 backpacked: Backpacked 3.0.0-beta.2 mm: Manningham Mills 2.3 bcc: BetterCompatibilityChecker 4.0.8 bclib: BCLib 3.0.14 wunderlib: WunderLib 1.1.5 beaconoverhaul: Beacon Overhaul 1.8.4+1.20 reach-entity-attributes: Reach Entity Attributes 2.4.0 betterdeserttemples: YUNG's Better Desert Temples 1.20-Fabric-3.0.3 org_reflections_reflections: reflections 0.10.2 betterdungeons: YUNG's Better Dungeons 1.20-Fabric-4.0.4 betterend: Better End 4.0.11 betterendisland: YUNG's Better End Island 1.20-Fabric-2.0.6 betterfortresses: YUNG's Better Nether Fortresses 1.20-Fabric-2.0.6 bettermineshafts: YUNG's Better Mineshafts 1.20-Fabric-4.0.4 betternether: Better Nether 9.0.10 betteroceanmonuments: YUNG's Better Ocean Monuments 1.20-Fabric-3.0.4 betterstrongholds: YUNG's Better Strongholds 1.20-Fabric-4.0.3 betterthirdperson: Better Third Person 1.9.0 betterwitchhuts: YUNG's Better Witch Huts 1.20-Fabric-3.0.3 biomemusic: Biome Music Mod 1.20.1-2.3 blur: Blur (Fabric) 3.1.0 midnightlib: MidnightLib 1.4.1 satin: Satin 1.13.0 bookshelf: Bookshelf 20.1.10 bosses_of_mass_destruction: Bosses of Mass Destruction (Beta) 1.7.5-1.20.1 maelstrom_library: Maelstrom Library 1.6.1-1.20 multipart_entities: MultipartEntities 1.5-1.20 botanypots: BotanyPots 13.0.33 botanytrees: BotanyTrees 9.0.11 botarium: Botarium 2.3.3 team_reborn_energy: Energy 3.0.0 bountiful: Bountiful 6.0.3+1.20.1 cardinal-components: Cardinal Components API 5.2.2 cardinal-components-block: Cardinal Components API (blocks) 5.2.2 cardinal-components-chunk: Cardinal Components API (chunks) 5.2.2 cardinal-components-item: Cardinal Components API (items) 5.2.2 cardinal-components-level: Cardinal Components API (world saves) 5.2.2 cardinal-components-scoreboard: Cardinal Components API (scoreboard) 5.2.2 cardinal-components-world: Cardinal Components API (worlds) 5.2.2 charmofundying: Charm of Undying 6.5.0+1.20.1 spectrelib: SpectreLib 0.13.15+1.20.1 chefsdelight: Chefs Delight 1.0.3-fabric-1.20.1 chimes: Chimes 2.0.1 cloth-config: Cloth Config v11 11.1.118 cloth-basic-math: cloth-basic-math 0.6.1 clumps: Clumps 12.0.0.4 collective: Collective 7.61 combatroll: Combat Roll 1.3.2+1.20.1 comforts: Comforts 6.3.5+1.20.1 continuity: Continuity 3.0.0-beta.5+1.20.1 coroutil: CoroUtil 1.20.1-1.3.7 cristellib: Cristel Lib 1.1.5 blue_endless_jankson: jankson 1.2.3 croptopia: Croptopia 3.0.3 ctov: ChoiceTheorem's Overhauled Village 3.4.3 culinaryconstruct: Culinary Construct 5.2.1+1.20.1 cupboard: cupboard 1.20.1-2.6 darkpaintings: DarkPaintings 17.0.4 darkutils: DarkUtilities 17.0.3 decorative_blocks: Decorative Blocks 4.1.3 deeperdarker: Deeper and Darker 1.2.6 customportalapi: Custom Portal Api 0.0.1-beta64-1.20 dimdoors: DimensionalDoors 5.3.5 com_flowpowered_flow-math: flow-math 1.0.3 com_github_dimensionaldevelopment_poly2tri_java: poly2tri.java 0.1.1 org_jgrapht_jgrapht-core: jgrapht-core 1.1.0 distanthorizons: Distant Horizons 2.0.4-a-dev doubledoors: Double Doors 5.7 dragonfight: Dragonfight Mod 1.20.1-4.5 dummmmmmy: MmmMmmMmmMmm 1.20-1.8.17b dungeonnowloading: Dungeon Now Loading 1.5 dungeons_arise: When Dungeons Arise 2.1.58 dungeons_arise_seven_seas: When Dungeons Arise: Seven Seas 1.0.2 durabilitytooltip: Durability Tooltip 1.1.5 dynamictrim: DynamicTrim 1.4.1 mixinsquared: MixinSquared 0.1.1 easymagic: Easy Magic 8.0.1 ecologics: Ecologics 2.2.0 elementa: Elementa 647 elytraslot: Elytra Slot 6.3.0+1.20.1 enchantedlib: Enchanted Lib 0.3.1 enchdesc: EnchantmentDescriptions 17.0.15 endrem: End Remastered 5.2.4 ends_delight: End's Delight refabricated-1.20.1-alpha-1.0 epherolib: EpheroLib 1.2.0 essential: Essential 1.3.2.5+ge4fdbcd438 essential-container: essential-container 1.0.0 essential-loader: essential-loader 1.2.3 everycomp: Every Compat 1.20-2.6.56 porting_lib_tags: Porting Lib Tags 3.0 expandeddelight: Expanded Delight 0.3.1 omega-config: OmegaConfig 1.4.0+1.20.1 explorify: Explorify v1.4.0 fabric-api: Fabric API 0.92.0+1.20.1 fabric-api-base: Fabric API Base 0.4.31+1802ada577 fabric-api-lookup-api-v1: Fabric API Lookup API (v1) 1.6.36+1802ada577 fabric-biome-api-v1: Fabric Biome API (v1) 13.0.13+1802ada577 fabric-block-api-v1: Fabric Block API (v1) 1.0.11+1802ada577 fabric-block-view-api-v2: Fabric BlockView API (v2) 1.0.1+1802ada577 fabric-blockrenderlayer-v1: Fabric BlockRenderLayer Registration (v1) 1.1.41+1802ada577 fabric-client-tags-api-v1: Fabric Client Tags 1.1.2+1802ada577 fabric-command-api-v1: Fabric Command API (v1) 1.2.34+f71b366f77 fabric-command-api-v2: Fabric Command API (v2) 2.2.13+1802ada577 fabric-commands-v0: Fabric Commands (v0) 0.2.51+df3654b377 fabric-containers-v0: Fabric Containers (v0) 0.1.64+df3654b377 fabric-content-registries-v0: Fabric Content Registries (v0) 4.0.11+1802ada577 fabric-convention-tags-v1: Fabric Convention Tags 1.5.5+1802ada577 fabric-crash-report-info-v1: Fabric Crash Report Info (v1) 0.2.19+1802ada577 fabric-data-attachment-api-v1: Fabric Data Attachment API (v1) 1.0.0+de0fd6d177 fabric-data-generation-api-v1: Fabric Data Generation API (v1) 12.3.4+1802ada577 fabric-dimensions-v1: Fabric Dimensions API (v1) 2.1.54+1802ada577 fabric-entity-events-v1: Fabric Entity Events (v1) 1.6.0+1c78457f77 fabric-events-interaction-v0: Fabric Events Interaction (v0) 0.6.2+1802ada577 fabric-events-lifecycle-v0: Fabric Events Lifecycle (v0) 0.2.63+df3654b377 fabric-game-rule-api-v1: Fabric Game Rule API (v1) 1.0.40+1802ada577 fabric-item-api-v1: Fabric Item API (v1) 2.1.28+1802ada577 fabric-item-group-api-v1: Fabric Item Group API (v1) 4.0.12+1802ada577 fabric-key-binding-api-v1: Fabric Key Binding API (v1) 1.0.37+1802ada577 fabric-keybindings-v0: Fabric Key Bindings (v0) 0.2.35+df3654b377 fabric-lifecycle-events-v1: Fabric Lifecycle Events (v1) 2.2.22+1802ada577 fabric-loot-api-v2: Fabric Loot API (v2) 1.2.1+1802ada577 fabric-loot-tables-v1: Fabric Loot Tables (v1) 1.1.45+9e7660c677 fabric-message-api-v1: Fabric Message API (v1) 5.1.9+1802ada577 fabric-mining-level-api-v1: Fabric Mining Level API (v1) 2.1.50+1802ada577 fabric-model-loading-api-v1: Fabric Model Loading API (v1) 1.0.3+1802ada577 fabric-models-v0: Fabric Models (v0) 0.4.2+9386d8a777 fabric-networking-api-v1: Fabric Networking API (v1) 1.3.11+1802ada577 fabric-networking-v0: Fabric Networking (v0) 0.3.51+df3654b377 fabric-object-builder-api-v1: Fabric Object Builder API (v1) 11.1.3+1802ada577 fabric-particles-v1: Fabric Particles (v1) 1.1.2+1802ada577 fabric-recipe-api-v1: Fabric Recipe API (v1) 1.0.21+1802ada577 fabric-registry-sync-v0: Fabric Registry Sync (v0) 2.3.3+1802ada577 fabric-renderer-api-v1: Fabric Renderer API (v1) 3.2.1+1802ada577 fabric-renderer-indigo: Fabric Renderer - Indigo 1.5.1+1802ada577 fabric-renderer-registries-v1: Fabric Renderer Registries (v1) 3.2.46+df3654b377 fabric-rendering-data-attachment-v1: Fabric Rendering Data Attachment (v1) 0.3.37+92a0d36777 fabric-rendering-fluids-v1: Fabric Rendering Fluids (v1) 3.0.28+1802ada577 fabric-rendering-v0: Fabric Rendering (v0) 1.1.49+df3654b377 fabric-rendering-v1: Fabric Rendering (v1) 3.0.8+1802ada577 fabric-resource-conditions-api-v1: Fabric Resource Conditions API (v1) 2.3.8+1802ada577 fabric-resource-loader-v0: Fabric Resource Loader (v0) 0.11.10+1802ada577 fabric-screen-api-v1: Fabric Screen API (v1) 2.0.8+1802ada577 fabric-screen-handler-api-v1: Fabric Screen Handler API (v1) 1.3.30+1802ada577 fabric-sound-api-v1: Fabric Sound API (v1) 1.0.13+1802ada577 fabric-transfer-api-v1: Fabric Transfer API (v1) 3.3.4+1802ada577 fabric-transitive-access-wideners-v1: Fabric Transitive Access Wideners (v1) 4.3.1+1802ada577 fabric-language-kotlin: Fabric Language Kotlin 1.11.0+kotlin.2.0.0 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-reflect: kotlin-reflect 2.0.0 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-stdlib: kotlin-stdlib 2.0.0 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-stdlib-jdk7: kotlin-stdlib-jdk7 2.0.0 org_jetbrains_kotlin_kotlin-stdlib-jdk8: kotlin-stdlib-jdk8 2.0.0 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_atomicfu-jvm: atomicfu-jvm 0.24.0 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-coroutines-core-jvm: kotlinx-coroutines-core-jvm 1.8.1 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-coroutines-jdk8: kotlinx-coroutines-jdk8 1.8.1 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-datetime-jvm: kotlinx-datetime-jvm 0.6.0 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-serialization-cbor-jvm: kotlinx-serialization-cbor-jvm 1.6.3 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-serialization-core-jvm: kotlinx-serialization-core-jvm 1.6.3 org_jetbrains_kotlinx_kotlinx-serialization-json-jvm: kotlinx-serialization-json-jvm 1.6.3 fabricloader: Fabric Loader 0.15.11 mixinextras: MixinExtras 0.3.5 fallingleaves: Falling Leaves 1.15.6 fallingtree: FallingTree 4.3.4 farmersdelight: Farmer's Delight 1.20.1-2.1.1+refabricated porting_lib_accessors: Porting Lib Accessors 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_base: Porting Lib Base 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_attributes: Porting Lib Attributes 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_common: Porting Lib Common 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_entity: Porting Lib Entity 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_fluids: Porting Lib Fluids 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_mixin_extensions: Porting Lib Mixin Extensions 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_transfer: Porting Lib Transfer 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_utility: Porting Lib Utility 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_client_events: Porting Lib Client Events 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_config: Porting Lib Config 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_extensions: Porting Lib Extensions 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_lazy_registration: Porting Lib Lazy Register 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_loot: Porting Lib Loot 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_networking: Porting Lib Networking 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_recipe_book_categories: Porting Lib Recipe Book Categories 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_registries: Porting Lib Registries 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_tool_actions: Porting Lib Tool Actions 2.3.4+1.20.1 porting_lib_core: Porting Lib Core 2.3.4+1.20.1 forgeconfigapiport: Forge Config API Port 8.0.0 framework: Framework 0.7.6 com_electronwill_night-config_core: core 3.6.6 com_electronwill_night-config_toml: toml 3.6.6 org_javassist_javassist: javassist 3.29.2-GA friendsandfoes: Friends&Foes 2.0.10 geckolib: GeckoLib 4 4.4.2 com_eliotlash_mclib_mclib: mclib 20 geophilic: Geophilic v2.2.0-mc1.20u1.20.2 goblintraders: Goblin Traders 1.9.3 graveyard: The Graveyard 3.0 guardvillagers: GuardVillagers 2.0.9-1.20.1 handcrafted: Handcrafted 3.0.6 hybrid-aquatic: Hybrid Aquatic 1.3.2 iceberg: Iceberg 1.1.18 illagerinvasion: Illager Invasion 8.0.5 extensibleenums: Extensible Enums 7.0.1 immediatelyfast: ImmediatelyFast 1.2.16+1.20.4 net_lenni0451_reflect: Reflect 1.3.3 immersive_aircraft: Immersive Aircraft 1.0.1+1.20.1 org_mariuszgromada_math_mathparser_org-mxparser: MathParser.org-mXparser 5.2.1 immersive_armors: Immersive Armors 1.6.1+1.20.1 incendium: Incendium 5.3.5 indium: Indium 1.0.30+mc1.20.4 inventorysorter: Inventory Sorter 1.9.0-1.20 kyrptconfig: Kyrpt Config 1.5.6-1.20 iris: Iris 1.7.0+mc1.20.1 io_github_douira_glsl-transformer: glsl-transformer 2.0.0-pre13 org_anarres_jcpp: jcpp 1.4.14 org_antlr_antlr4-runtime: antlr4-runtime 4.11.1 itemborders: Item Borders 1.2.2 jade: Jade 11.8.0 jamlib: JamLib 0.6.1+1.20.x java: OpenJDK 64-Bit Server VM 17 jei: Just Enough Items 15.3.0.4 justenoughbreeding: Just Enough Breeding 1.2.1 justenoughprofessions: Just Enough Professions (JEP) 3.0.1 kambrik: Kambrik 6.1.1+1.20.1 kotori316_version_checker: ForgeLikeVersionChecker 2.4.0 kotori_scala: Scalable Cat's Force Fabric 2.2.0 org_scala-lang_scala-library: scala-library 2.13.12 org_scala-lang_scala3-library_3: scala3-library_3 3.3.1 org_typelevel_cats-core_3: cats-core_3 2.10.0-kotori org_typelevel_cats-free_3: cats-free_3 2.10.0-kotori org_typelevel_cats-kernel_3: cats-kernel_3 2.10.0-kotori lavender: Lavender 0.1.9+1.20 lavender-md: lavender-md 0.1.1+1.20 lavender-md-owo-ui: lavender-md-owo-ui 0.1.1+1.20 leavesbegone: Leaves Be Gone 8.0.0 lootintegrations: Loot integration Mod 1.20.1-3.7 lootr: Lootr 0.7.33.81 magistuarmory: Epic Knights Mod 9.8 magnumtorch: Magnum Torch 8.0.2 majruszlibrary: Majrusz Library 7.0.8 majruszsaccessories: Majrusz's Accessories 1.5.3 majruszsdifficulty: Majrusz's Progressive Difficulty 1.9.10 mcdar: MC Dungeons Artifacts 4.0.3 mcdw: MC Dungeons Weapons 9.0.4 mcwfences: Macaw's Fences and Walls 1.1.1 mcwfurnitures: Macaw's Furniture 3.2.2 mcwlights: Macaw's Lights and Lamps 1.0.6 mcwpaintings: Macaw's Paintings 1.0.5 mcwpaths: Macaw's Paths and Pavings 1.0.5 mcwroofs: Macaw's Roofs 2.3.0 mcwtrpdoors: Macaw's Trapdoors 1.1.3 mcwwindows: Macaw's Windows 2.2.1 mes: Moog's End Structures 1.3.1-1.20-fabric minecraft: Minecraft 1.20.1 mobsunscreen: Mob Sunscreen 3.1.0 modelfix: Model Gap Fix 1.15 moonlight: Moonlight 1.20-2.11.30 more_armor_trims: More Armor Trims 1.2.0 moremobvariants: More Mob Variants 1.3.0.1 moretotems: More Totems 2.16.0 mousetweaks: Mouse Tweaks 2.26 mr_dungeons_andtaverns: Dungeons and Taverns 3.0.3.f mutantmonsters: Mutant Monsters 8.0.7 mvs: Moog's Voyager Structures 4.1.2-1.20-fabric naturalist: Naturalist 4.0.3 netherdepthsupgrade: Nether Depths Upgrade fabric-3.1.6-1.20 nyfsspiders: Nyf's Spiders 2.1.1 oceansdelight: Ocean's Delight fdrf-fabric-1.0.2-1.20 org_jetbrains_annotations: annotations 23.0.0 overloadedarmorbar: Overloaded Armor Bar 1.20.1-2 gbfabrictools: GBfabrictools 1.2.2+1.16 owo: oωo 0.11.2+1.20 paraglider: Paragliders 20.1.3 patchouli: Patchouli 1.20.1-84-FABRIC fiber: fiber 0.23.0-2 phantasm: End's Phantasm 0.3 philipsruins: Philip`s Ruins 1.20.1 pigpen: PigPen 15.0.2 player-animator: Player Animator 1.0.2-rc1+1.20 polymorph: Polymorph 0.49.5+1.20.1 prism: Prism 1.0.5 projectile_damage: Projectile Damage Attribute 3.2.3+1.20.1 puzzleslib: Puzzles Lib 8.1.20 puzzlesaccessapi: Puzzles Access Api 8.0.7 quarryplus: QuarryPlus 20.1.1159 ranged_weapon_api: RangedWeaponAPI 1.1.1+1.20.1 rare-ice: Rare Ice 0.6.0 resourcefulconfig: Resourcefulconfig 2.1.2 resourcefullib: Resourceful Lib 2.1.25 com_teamresourceful_bytecodecs: bytecodecs 1.0.2 com_teamresourceful_yabn: yabn 1.0.3 rightclickharvest: Right Click Harvest 3.2.3+1.19.x-1.20.1-fabric runelic: Runelic 18.0.2 runes: Runes 0.9.11+1.20.1 sawmill: Universal Sawmill 1.20-1.4.1 sdrp: Simple Discord Rich Presence 4.0.3-build.40+mc1.20.1 com_github_jagrosh_discordipc: DiscordIPC a8d6631cc9 com_kohlschutter_junixsocket_junixsocket-common: junixsocket-common 2.6.2 com_kohlschutter_junixsocket_junixsocket-native-common: junixsocket-native-common 2.6.2 org_json_json: json 20210307 simplylight: Simply Light 1.20.1-1.4.5 simplyswords: Simply Swords 1.55.0-1.20.1 spruceui: SpruceUI 5.0.0+1.20 skinlayers3d: 3d-Skin-Layers 1.6.5 smallships: Small Ships 2.0.0-b1.2 smarterfarmers: Smarter Farmers 1.20-1.8.2 sodium: Sodium 0.5.8+mc1.20.1 somanyenchantments: So Many Enchantments Mod 0.4.1 soulsweapons: Marium's Soulslike Weaponry 1.1.3-1.20-fabric sound_physics_remastered: Sound Physics Remastered 1.20.1-1.4.2 spell_engine: Spell Engine 0.14.3+1.20.1 spell_power: Spell Power Attribute 0.10.2+1.20.1 starterkit: Starter Kit 6.7 stoneworks: Stoneworks 8.0.0 structory: Structory 1.3.5 structory_towers: Structory: Towers 1.0.7 structureessentials: Structure Essentials Mod 1.20.1-3.3 supermartijn642configlib: SuperMartijn642's Config Lib 1.1.8+a supermartijn642corelib: SuperMartijn642's Core Lib 1.1.17 supplementaries: Supplementaries 1.20-2.8.11 suppsquared: Supplementaries Squared 1.20-1.1.14 t_and_t: Towns and Towers 1.12 terralith: Terralith 2.5.1 things: Things 0.3.3+1.20 totw_additions: Towers of the Wild: Additions 1.3 totw_modded: Towers Of The Wild: Modded fabric-1.20.1-1.0.5 trashcans: Trash Cans 1.0.18 travelersbackpack: Traveler's Backpack fabric-1.20.1-9.1.13 travelerstitles: Traveler's Titles 1.20-Fabric-4.0.2 treeharvester: Tree Harvester 8.7 trimeffects: Trim Effects 1.1.1-fabric trinkets: Trinkets 3.7.2 twigs: Twigs 3.1.0 universalcraft: UniversalCraft 337 veinmining: Vein Mining 1.4.1+1.20.1 vigilance: Vigilance 297 villagernames: Villager Names 7.3 villagersplus: Villagers Plus 3.1 villagesandpillages: Villages&Pillages 1.0.0 villagespawnpoint: Village Spawn Point 4.2 visuality: Visuality 0.7.1+1.20 visualworkbench: Visual Workbench 8.0.0 watut: What Are They Up To 1.20.1-1.1.1 weaponmaster: YDM's Weapon Master 3.0.5 wirelesschargers: Wireless Chargers 1.0.9+a wizards: Wizards (RPG Series) 1.2.0+1.20.1 yeetusexperimentus: Yeetus Experimentus 2.3.1-build.6+mc1.20.1 yet_another_config_lib_v3: YetAnotherConfigLib 3.4.4+1.20.1-fabric com_twelvemonkeys_common_common-image: common-image 3.10.0 com_twelvemonkeys_common_common-io: common-io 3.10.0 com_twelvemonkeys_common_common-lang: common-lang 3.10.0 com_twelvemonkeys_imageio_imageio-core: imageio-core 3.10.0 com_twelvemonkeys_imageio_imageio-metadata: imageio-metadata 3.10.0 com_twelvemonkeys_imageio_imageio-webp: imageio-webp 3.10.0 org_quiltmc_parsers_gson: gson 0.2.1 org_quiltmc_parsers_json: json 0.2.1 yigd: You're in Grave Danger 2.0.0-beta.13 fabric-permissions-api-v0: fabric-permissions-api 0.2-SNAPSHOT libgui: LibGui 8.1.1+1.20.1 jankson: Jankson 6.0.0+j1.2.3 libninepatch: LibNinePatch 1.2.0 yungsapi: YUNG's API 1.20-Fabric-4.0.5 yungsbridges: YUNG's Bridges 1.20-Fabric-4.0.3 yungsextras: YUNG's Extras 1.20-Fabric-4.0.3 Loaded Shaderpack: (off) Launched Version: fabric-loader-0.15.11-1.20.1 Backend library: LWJGL version 3.3.1 SNAPSHOT Backend API: NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090/PCIe/SSE2 GL version 3.2.0 NVIDIA 555.85, NVIDIA Corporation Window size: 1024x768 GL Caps: Using framebuffer using OpenGL 3.2 GL debug messages: Using VBOs: Yes Is Modded: Definitely; Client brand changed to 'fabric' Type: Client (map_client.txt) Graphics mode: fancy Resource Packs: fabric Current Language: en_us CPU: 16x AMD Ryzen 7 5800X 8-Core Processor 

I normally play on Forge, but I gave Fabric a try and ended up getting back handed with this lmao

Hey everyone, I don't expect anyone to reply to this as it'll probably be shrouded by the other posts. Just needed somewhere to write it all down.
My life has never been good. I've had moments of happiness, even for extended periods of time, but never for longer than a few months at most. I grew up in a horrible environments in and out of CPS where my Mum finally got custody of me at age 3, after I remained in a foster home for around 6 months. My Mom tried so hard for me, even until she won her court case against my birth Father. Until I was around 12, I was raised in a fairly normal environment by myself. Most of my childhood I never endured abuse or anything like that. It wasn't until I was 12, shit got real. At that age, people deemed my problems invalid because I was so young and "it couldn't be that bad" or "other people have it worse". I could never tell my Mum because I didn't want to dissapoint her and make it seem like all her efforts were for naught. As such, I sat alone with my problems, occasionally talking to people online, but nothing helped. When I turned 13, I discovered herbal cigarettes for the first time. I would roll a herb (usually something that produced a relaxing effect or a minor hallucinagen) and smoke it on my porch when my parents weren't home. After I first tried it, I told myself, "It was a good stress reliever, but I'm not gonna do this again. It's bad for me." This cycle repeated daily for around a month. Eventually, my parents found out. Despite my worries, they weren't mad. But the dissapointment in my Mum's eyes were unreal.
This was the moment where I first lost my parents trust.
Eventually, I stopped, as my parents hid everything away from me. Because of this I never wanted to be at my house, so I was with a new group of "friends: I had made. There was this one guy, who I'll name John. John shared a lot of my common interests, and would talk to me during class and we'd hang out at the centre of our city pretty often, just us two messing around and having fun, like a bunch of 8th grade boys. This lasted for a few months. I had one of the best birthdays ever with him. Around a month afterwards, this man somehow tricked me into sending nudes to him. I'm a straight man. I thought this was another one of his jokes and we'd be chill afterwards.
I was wrong.
The next day, I went to school surrounded by weirded stares and comments on the situation. I knew then, that I seriously fucked up bad. I somehow got myself out of the situation by saying it wasn't me, but my friendship with John was diminished. Despite this, he was the only friend I actually hung out with consistently after that. I dealt with his remarks in the times in the future, which grew more and more consistent as the times went on. I knew I had to let him go after he told my principle that I had a weapon on me for self defense (which basically everyone in my city does), which nearly led to me being suspended. Eventually, I abandoned him all together, and ran with whatever little amount of pride I had left. I fell into a huge state of depression after this. Even my online friends didn't want me anymore. Someone had accused me of being a pedophile and falsified screenshots. I had no one.
One day, after school, a friend who I wasn't particularly close with wanted to hang out with me after school. He mentioned his parents had a cabinet full of alcohol.
Seeing no danger with this, I accepted without hesitation. This was my first experience with alcohol. I got wasted with him, and for the first time in months, my worries washed away. Eventually, this became a weekly occurance. I would tell my parents I was going to the park, but instead I would get drunk with my friend. This soon became the only way I could live without stress. Around this time, I became closer with an acuqainted friend and his friend group, who we'll call Terry and his friends. Terry was a chill guy. We didn't share all the same interests, but he liked me for who I was. He didn't care about my past. I became closer with his friends, too. Eventually this became my new friend group. Around the time I formed this new friend group, I stopped going drinking with my other friend. Not because I didn't want to, but because he stopped pestering me to hang out with him like he did the months before. Instead, the roles were reversed at that point. Me and this friend group started hanging out more, and more, and more.
During this time, I met my first love. It was online, but it felt like the best thing in the world. We were young, and stupid. She was beautiful. I remember first talking to her on the phone on the plane ride to my Uncle's wedding. I decided to myself that I really liked this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I remember she was the only thing I dedicated myself for. Something I felt was worth being there for. I finally felt like I had some worth for the first time in forever. I should mention this was slightly before the drinking thing. We talked, we called, we loved for two whole weeks. Towards the end, I made the stupid mistake of telling her that "if I didn't meet her I probably would've killed myself". This wasn't entirely true. I was depressed before talking to her, but I don't think I was suicidal. However, this seemed to be a problem for her. Apparently, she felt trapped. Thus, she left me. I remember having to hide my heartbreak from my parents. I shortly got over it, however, and met a new girl from my school. I realize now I didn't love her, I loved the idea of being in a relationship. I remember joking to my ex about how bad my girtlfriend at the time was. After a while, she found out I was following other girls on instagram. I denied it at first, but discovered it was an opportunity to pin a breakup on her not trusting me enough, so I used that reason and dumped her. She later told the whole school I was unloyal (which I wasn't, I didn't even talk to the girls I followed). She proceeded to post shitty photos of me on her tiktok account. I remember being fuming. If sonething so small was the worst of my problems now, I would be blissful happy right now. A few weeks afterwards, I got back with my first ex. This time, it was one sided. After just over a month, I began to look at girls in my class with desire. I completely broke it off with my ex, telling her I didn't love her anymore. Years later, I still regret this decision. She accepted this, and we remained friends. Every time I felt lonely, I would talk to her again, and we would begin talking like we were together again. This repeated for around 6 months. We kept talking until around a few months ago, where I discovered she blocked me out of nowhere. I believe it was out of respect for her new boyfriend, which I respect.
After we had broken it off for the final time, I began spending time outside of school with my new friend group. Slowly, we began to hang out more and more. I even found a new girlfriend, which I had found off of quick add on snapchat, lol. Around Christmas, things went downhill. My friends asked a personal question, which was whether my girlfriend had sent me explicit pictures (i thought it would make me sound cooler if I said yes), but then they caught me in the lie, and they immediately lost trust for me. I saw the same look in their eyes as I saw in my Mother. Distrust. I tried to salvage the friendship, but I new it wouldn't be the same ever again. It still isn't. I saw the cycle repeat itself. Like last time, I left my girlfriend because I lost interest. I began to become depressed again. I started vaping and drinking to escape the pain. I didn't care as much about my looks anymore. I remember having one of the worst heartbreaks of my life afterwards. I told myself I wouldn't date ever again. I still hung out with my friends, but we all knew inside that we didnt care for each other as much as we acted. For around a month, I lived life in a cycle. A depressed cycle. One day, I caught a glimpse of a girl in my class who was exactly my type in a woman, physically and mentally. I knew she was far too good for me. I barely talked to her, and didn't have her on any social media. I eventually got the courage one afternoon to add her on snapchat, after one of my friends gave me her snap. This was after a mutual friend informed me that she found me attractive, which I didn't buy. The night I added her, we talked, and I rememebr playing games with her and her friends. It was one of the best nights I've ever had. I fucked up my sleep sdchedule just to speak to her longer. I got to know her more, and more. She was the most beautiful and perfect girl in the world. My eternal bliss lasted for a week. I had ordered flowers to ask her out with and I had the whole thing planned out with her friends. I remember going to my first work shift, and coming home, and getting a message from her:
"Hey, I think I'm lesbian. It's not your fault, I promise. I'm so sorry."
I was heartbroken, I kept tryna suffocated myself over and over again. I asked her why, what her thought process was. She eventually tired of my questions and she said that I was being a dick about it. I ended up sending her a message later that day telling her that I was sorry for being a dick about it (I still don't know what I did wrong). I didn't go to school the next day. I remember avoiding her hard for the whole rest of the school term. I was insanely depressed afterwards, the worst I've ever felt. she was the best thing that ever happened to me. I tried weed for the first time afterwards, it was mesmerising. It nearly compared to the feeling of being with her. But it was only a temporary escape. As the weeks went on, I became more and more depressed. Then, my parents found out I smoked weed, and my own mother told the police (I still dont know if thats morally right and im overthinking it) and my whole family found out and now hates me. I'm scheduled to see them tomorrow. I'm being illegally overowkred by my job, and I can;t do anything about it. I didn;t show up today, I'm probably already fired. I tried a cigarette today, it was one last thing I wanted to know before I pass. I went to one last convension today, and asked God for a sign to keep living. I ended up meeting a girl, asking for her number, and she gave me her insta and messaged me "You really thought I'd date you? Not tryna be mean".
In three hours, it'll turn midnight. I'll go to a store, find nitrous oxide, and overdose on that. Asphyxiation isn't that painful. I have nothing at all.

Hello everyone, first of all English isn't my first language, I'm on mobile, and I tend to ramble, so I'm sorry about that. I (34F) am in a short relationship (4 months) with L (28M), he's very kind and sweet, and I'm still adapting to this whole new relationship thing, for this last sentence I'll give you some background. My last serious relationship lasted for 3,5 years between me (24F at the time) and F (21M at the time). It started after we matched on a dating app and we went on our first date. Our first date was crazy perfect, he picked me up on a garden and we went to a tattoo/piercing shop where we got pierced. We talked for hours until evening, and he invited me to eat pizza at his place with his dad lol. It was super late by then, and I lived far far away, so we slept together just cuddling, nothing else. Since then we would meet each other every day. One time (6 months into the relationship) he rear ended another vehicle while going back home. So I decided to move closer to him, because the commute was getting to us. So I did. One week into the new lease, I had an accident and broke my ankle. So he decided that it was better for me to stay at his place to recover (bigger house, access to vehicles, and accessible in general). Three months and two surgeries after I decided it was time for me to go home, but he would convince me to "postpone just one more week" every time, and I would always oblige (I know the little doormat I sometimes am). And things would go like that until I hit the one year mark into that lease. And I said to him "or I move back home or I move definitely here, there's no middle therm", so I moved into his place. I offered to pay rent but he refused. Until this moment the relationship was perfect, his father also lived at that place, and we would always cook together, sing together, go for short trips, etc. But after a while I started to have symptoms of anxiety and depression. Until one day I had a panic attack by just sitting in front of my computer at work. I started to treat that and the doctors said I would have to stop work for a bit, because it was super serious (I don't want to go into too much details for that). At the beginning he was super supportive, but now I know that to have a relationship with someone w/ depression and anxiety it's super hard, 0/10 not recommend. So he and his friends started to be petty to me, and I noticed. One day me, him and his friend went for dinner and I got catchup for me. His friends started to berate me on how catchup is bad for my health and that I should stop using it. I simple replied that every time I see him he is smoking his cigarettes and I never said nothing. Or one time that his friend started to talk bad about gold digger women and insinuate that I was one, because I wasn't working. Before stopping to work I had a career in IT, while my bf had an assistant warehouse job, and I used to earn way more than him (that was never important to me before, honestly). So I said "I know I'm not working, but as soon as I get better I'll earn 4 times more than my bf, so your argument doesn't apply". Just wanted to point out that I had my savings, and I was living off it, paying for food, and other bills. My bf then was very mean and cold to me too, and at one point I asked "Do you want me to move out?" and he said "yes". "After that will you break up with me?" And he said "yes". So I activated my survival mode, and started to work my way into leaving. Between that, and getting a job, I started to pack my things quietly, and applying for jobs. All that while mourning the relationship. For him, I was doing nothing, but I was actually already in the way of signing a new lease, going to interviews and packing my things (and hiding in the house), I wanted to just disappear, I felt humiliated to not be able to leave in the next day after that talk. One day he went after me for sex, and I said "don't be like that, I feel like a piece of meat", he answered "so I'm going downstairs to get some salt then", and from that moment on, all the good feelings I had were replaced by disgust and disdain. A couple days after he asked me what I was going to do on next weekend, because he would go on a trip and wouldn't be home, and I said "nothing". I actually went to help the landlord to clean and paint the new place, since I wanted it to be ready ASAP. And I could move in next Wednesday. When I broke the news to him, he looked surprised and said "already??". So I kinda moved all out in less than a day. After that he would always go after me. I was 27 by then, and from that moment on the idea of a relationship would always make me sick. So I had the crazy teenager phase (since I always had long relationships before) and decided that I would be alone. I started to draw a plan to move to New Zealand, as far away from my ex possible and the plans didn't go through. But 3 years later I moved to Europe, my ex would always send messages saying he missed me, even when he was on a relationship, and in one of my birthdays he sent me a picture from his wallet with my picture in it. I replied politely, but I felt disdain honestly. We haven't talked in years now, honestly, and I'm alright with that. I was single for 7 years icking the idea of going through all that again. Ok, so now, what's happening? I'm 34 now, and I have my cute sweet new boyfriend, and every time he comes here to sleep with me I dream that I sneak out the bed to sleep with my ex. Even though I would never do that, even if he was in other bed next to us. I always feel guilty and dirty, like I'm cheating. I spend the days thinking that I should tell my bf, but I don't want to hurt him. All I feel for my ex is disdain and ick. But I feel like I'm hiding something. What do I do?
TL;DR!: Every time my bf sleeps over, I dream that I sneak out of the bed to go to sleep with my ex, and my brain thinks I'm cheating.

I’ve never written a question on this app before but this is eating at me. BUCKLE UP THIS IS LONG!
So my husband’s family have been abusive to him, he is the black sheep of his family he is the youngest and has a different father than his older siblings (8,6 years older).
Ever since I started dating him I was antagonized in some way. When I first met his family for Christmas his middle brother invited his ex-girlfriend to hang out, unbeknownst to my then bf which was awkward but she was fine with me. My boyfriend then was really sick and I took the train 2 hours to pick him up from his home (where his family was with their cars) and take him to a hospital in London. He was there for 6 days not one person visited him but me. They made fun of him and minimized his illness.
Then we moved to my home country the US and eloped. They came to visit a few years later his mom and eldest brother were okay. Middle brother again constantly throwing barbs and digs at me completely unprovoked. I get there may be a culture difference they are White English conservatives, I’m African American. Shortly after we married he dated a black girl, who left bc she was also treated poorly. Some examples of digs; I congratulated him on graduating and asked him when he finished he replied “same time you were supposed to” (I dropped out). Then I asked what the he loved most and what was challenging about being a PT and he replied “no offense, working with fat people.” Took them to multiple meals and covered everything which wasn’t cheap, he complained about the food being “reheated” and bitched when he was ID’d.
Things get progressively worse, middle brother has a precious baby. I want to spoil her and become close with the mother of the child (who is not with him due to his creepy behavior). We form a fast friendship and chat all the time about the baby. My brother in-law tortures this girl denies he is the dad but also goes out of his way to bully her (she’s not breast feeding right, she shouldn’t have pacifiers) all from the comfort of his home. He is also constantly complaining about having to pay $50 a week in child support nonstop saying he is going “bankrupt”. My hubby is part of a group chat and my mother-in-law talks ish about my friend and my hubby is telling me. I ask to see and his brother is actively trying to give his soon to be 1 year old daughter eggs and gluten that his ex told him she was allergic to and they are plotting to do this during her birthday and explicitly NOT tell my friend the mom of his baby. The reasoning was “I’m the father, I deserve to be respected, I can make choices to” but he is extremely sneaky. I show my friend/baby’s mom the messages and all hell breaks loose because of course he lies and gets caught. I would have told him off directly but he blocked me because he was mad at how close I was getting to his ex. I am called a “despicable woman” dragged in their chat, made to seem that I’m spying on my husband and accused of being jealous and sabotaging my niece’s birthday party. My husband says nothing in my defense just goes along like he didn’t send me the photos of their chat…
They don’t know I’m pregnant at this time and I chose not to tell any of my in-laws due to how awful they are. I also don’t believe in telling anyone that would wish ill on me and my baby (bad juju), but my bestie the baby mom knows. I give birth his mom has an absolute tantrum says incredibly awful things to my husband, reaches out to my mom to wish her congratulations on her grandchild and says “i guess I will learn to love him.”
Then my friend the mom gets diagnosed with cancer and wants to keep this secret and makes me promise, she kept my secret pregnancy it is the least I could do. She dies a few months later and my brother in law attacks her for not telling him and claims she is a horrible mother. He takes custody of his daughter.
Fast forward the eldest brother meets this hog woman. She is rotund and English, very ignorant and rude. The first interaction I had she thought she knew so much, decides to bash my dead friend’s parenting, call my dead father in law “weird”, tells me my niece eats everything now due to having a “good parent” and called my apt in NYC “embarrassing” bc it had scaffolding on google maps when she looked me up (like a creep). She then antagonizes me in a variety of slick ways including posting the eldest brother with my niece with the caption “uncle B’s favorite!” On my son’s birthday. Most recently I tell his family that we want to actually have a proper wedding and celebrate after 10 years of marriage, i give them 2 years notice. The hog says “ohhh me and the eldest are planning on getting married then.” I ask why she says “nice weather”. She then proceeds to have a fall wedding (orange, red, greens, pumpkins, barley, wheelbarrows etc.” in May. I try to be the bigger person and send a kind welcome and she leaves me on read.
I hate these people, I need to let this go. My husband says that we should just go on continuing our happy life and not “start problems”. But it feels like so much awfulness to have to swallow. I also feel like if/when I do speak up I’m the hysterical angry black woman and this hog is the “innocent”. The whole thing is so so frustrating but I need to let it go even though I want them to hurt emotionally as much as they have hurt us.
Any recommendations, would you want revenge? There is so much more but I have written a novel already. I feel alone like no one has my back or tries to understand my perspective. They are so sneaky and underhanded. I want to protect my family from these sick people. At the same time I want justice, justice for my husband, for my dead bestie, for me son and for me.