Was at a few day long convention last week where I met a woman. We hit it off pretty well, and ended up spending a bit of time together, and towards the end hooked up in my hotel room. We exchanged numbers and she later asked for my Instagram, which I gave to her and followed her back. We talked about it and mutually understood that the relationship couldn't go on past the convention as we live in different parts of the country. After the convention we stayed on good terms, some light texting with her also liking my post I made a few days after and watching my story. Anyways, I tried to pull up her account today, 2 days after the convention, to show a friend of mine a picture and realized she had blocked me. I'm wondering if anyone knows why that would be, as I am a little confused about it.

Unfortunately, following a somewhat crowded outdoor event, I ended up getting COVID for the second time. This was definitely worst than the first time because it caused all sorts of GI symptoms. I was ok for a bit, but started to notice ll my food was digesting super slowly and it kept going downhill from there. Now I thought it was just gastroparesis, and I was suffering from severe weight loss as well, and bloodwork showed some high cholesterol, so my primary recommended an ultrasound, and after that that I see a gastroenterologist and a liver doctor as well to rule out anything else. Ultrasound showed mild fatty liver and sludge in the gallbladder.
Liver doctor was useless and dismissive. According to her, my GERD was managed by "weight loss" (it was not; it was managed by not fucking eating onions all the time mainly LMAO and reducing other triggers like tomato sauce and oddly and specifically, chocolate mousse). She also recommended I see a nutritionist, which considering I just said I could barely tolerate any food and wasn't eating and experiencing rapid unexplained weight loss what good would that do? Didn't bother doing a follow-up.
Gastroenterologist was my savior frankly. She listened for one, had me do an endoscopy just to make sure I had no other stomach issues (just mild gastritis and a hernia, which I knew about), and after getting all my ultrasound scans as well, recommended surgery after some more spasms, pain, and my symptoms just not improving and experiencing more food sensitivities and intolerances. I went to the ER because my pain was getting worse and I couldn't take it, ultrasound was done there only for the sludge to have completely vanished even though i still had pain, got sent home because why would they do anything extra even though my pain was almost 24/7, but you know, no fever = oh you're fine lol. The ER doctor did recommend additional scans though, so I went back to my gastro, who ordered a HIDA scan.
HIDA scan gave me the proof I needed; my gallbladder had an EF of 19%, and she recommended a surgeon to me, had my appointment with him, gave him all of my medical results, told him my symptoms, and he immediately explained to me how laparoscopic surgery would work and boom, surgery ended up getting scheduled for the next week, and I was his first one of the day. Got that done yesterday, and while the anesthesia had me super down and out for the count and peeing afterwards sucks and is very very slow and irritating, it still doesn't compare to the gallbladder pain; I had to stop eating dinner and was living off of cream of wheat and baby snacks up until the surgery, and even water triggered pain. Didn't have any gallstones, but it turns out my gallbladder was "partly intrahepatic" and inflamed and I had a short cystic duct, so it was probably a matter of time before it started fucking up, but COVID might have accelerated it since I never had issues prior to getting it the second time, and i see other people in the sub have had similar (the first time I got COVID, it just attacked my lungs mostly, also messed with my motor skills and I had a lot of fatigue and heat intolerance).
That's my story, and I'm sharing because maybe it'll help someone else who was just as lost as I am. It's absolutely shitty, and the US healthcare system is a nightmare especially when you're a femme person of color, and I will say I got very lucky with my gastro. Just gotta keep trucking along and keep fighting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, rooting for yall!
EDIT: oh forgot to mention that my period started the literal day of surgery, but it didn't seem to affect much and the nurses were very kind enough to offer me two pads and surgical underwear!

As the title says, we are currently in the east side of Tokyo for the part of our trip (we have several days in West Tokyo before we depart).
For reference, my dietary restrictions are: - No beef - No pork - No dairy/milk
We spent most of our first day in Akihabara and at the Ryogoku Kokugikan to watch sumo.
After quite a bit research, I thought I would be fine finding food for lunch/dinner given that I eat chicken, fish/seafood and tofu.... but BOY, was I ever wrong..
It was horrible! Every place we looked at while walking past seemed to exclusively sell pork or beef. We eventually went to a place that sells vegan ramen (Kyushu Jangara) for lunch and it was just ok until I added a crap ton of adjustments myaelf . . We struck out at the konbini (everything had milk) on the way to the hotel from sumo, and ended up deciding not to eat anything for dinner.
It's very frustrating, and I'm at a loss as to what to do.
Any recommendations? As I mentioned we are staying in Tokyo (then Kyoto, and Hjrsoshima. What do i look for? Where would you go?
Our hotel sadly doesn't have a microwave so we couldn't heat up the items that don't come preheated from the konbini.

This is gonna be long so bear with me pls. I (f21) used to hook up with this guy (m22), I started liking him a lot, he said he wasn’t interested in a relationship. I didn’t take it personally plus I was transferring to another school abroad at the end of the year and then I’d probably never see him again.
About 3 months after i moved (so march 2023) he spontaneously booked a flight and came to visit me during spring break, he stayed with me and we were together basically the whole time, we hooked up but it was kind of an fwb situation? but throughout he kept dropping hints which I decided to ignore since I knew he wasn’t interested in being more than friends.
I do want to mention that I come from a rather well to do family and i might be a little spoilt in the sense that my family pays my tuition so I don’t have student loans and I get my rent money and some pocket money from home because my family doesn’t want me to work yet so I can focus on school more, but since I moved I have been working 2 jobs (without my family knowing) to save money because I like to live comfortably, go shopping, travel, and I’m trying to save up for my masters so I’m pretty comfortable financially, which he saw on his visit since I paid for p much everything. (Now that I think about it, I took a leave from work and didn’t have school that week so he didn’t actually see how hard I work, to him i was just chilling all day and living rich).
When he went back after his visit he kept talking ab how he has such a good time with me and how he really likes me and we started talking a lot more and I was kinda into him again. After like a month he started telling me that he wants to stop seeing other people and he dsnt want me to see other people either, still no mention of a relationship but he wanted to be exclusive. I had been on a couple dates since I moved but I wasn’t really interested in anyone so I agreed. Within a month of that (so june 2023) he started saying he loves me and for the longest time I hesitated to say it back but eventually i did. He kept saying he wants to visit me again etc but he cnt afford it. I agreed to pay bec i wanted to see him too but I thought that since I didn’t have school all month we could go on a little vacation instead of just him coming over, since I could afford it. We planned an trip for July and decided everything but before I paid for anything I asked him if he sees this ever turning into a relationship and he told me no at first but after i said if it’s not going anywhere (I was going to pay for his flights, all the stay and we would split the money we spend there) I don’t want to invest financially in it like time is one thing but i work really hard for the money, he said he just doesn’t feel like he’s ready for a relationship now but gave me hope saying that might change as we spend time together. I was naive enough to fall for that and we went on our little vacation.
Towards the end of the vacation like 2 days before we were supposed to go back, we were at a club and I was sitting down with my drink while he was on the floor and I saw him make a snapchat call and he was on it for a while and in the middle of it his screen lit up and a girl’s (let’s call her K) bitmoji was on it, so i went up to him to ask who he was talking to, he straight up lied and told me it was one of his guy friends and i just went and sat back down. After he finished the call he came and sat next to me and held his phone in a way that he obviously wanted me to look at the screen bec he had called his guy friend now the bitmoji was on the screen, which was such a failure because his guy friend didn’t even answer the phone he just showed me the “ringing” screen. I didn’t say anything tho because we both were pretty drunk and I didn’t want to start a fight in that condition. The next was our last night there and it went well but on the way back to our hotel at the end of the night i forgot my phone in the uber and used his phone to call the uber driver to ask if there was any way i could get it back. He was almost passed put by the time the uber driver came back around to bring my phone so i asked him if i could take his phone outside while i go to bring my phone just in case I need to contact the driver, he agreed and unlocked his phone and gave it to me. When i was going, K called him and i just rejected the call but then she sent him like a million texts and my suspicion got the best of me and I opened the chat. I barely had to scroll up before I saw several explicit msgs and photos (all very recent) and it made me sick to my stomach. I got my phone back and went back to the room to find him passed out I threw his phone at him and he woke up and we talked about it basically all night, I was crying like the whole time and in the end he promised me he wouldn’t do it again and he only wants to be with me and all this other emo (and in hindsight, toxic) crap that I fell for at the time and the next day we flew back.
Things were okay for like 2 months after that. On Halloween we were both on facetime, getting ready to go to halloween parties (in our respective countries lol) and I was telling him how to do his makeup (he really likes my style and often asks me for advice on clothes, makeup, hair etc) we talked for a while it was all great and after we got ready we ended the call and I went to the party (it was like 10min from my place) and as soon as I got there I tried to send him a snap but couldn’t find him on my snapchat friend list, so i tried to text him on Instagram only to find he had blocked me, on everything.
I DID NOT handle that well. After he had been nc for a week, he called me. Of course, I couldn’t resist and answered. He asked for help with a school project (I would often help him with things like that, even tho he was in a much complex course i would learn his stuff and then help him with homework and stuff). Even tho I was not in good condition physically bec of the withdrawals and even tho he hadn’t even addressed the fact that he had blocked me on everything out of nowhere I decided to help him again because I was just so desperate to talk to him and I basically made the whole thing for him and he got a good grade, he thanked me and stuff and when i asked him why he blocked me he just said “idk i was just upset idk why” he just always refused to talk about it. But i mean social media is so accessible, i did see that he had been commenting on K’s old Instagram posts (he commented on ALL her posts actually) throughout the week, so i’m sure it had something to do with her, but I didn’t ask because he seemed irritable whenever i would bring it up.
We started talking like before again, he graduated (i’m still in school) and we planned for another vacation for new years eve. Big surprise, even tho he was the one who proposed the trip, now he was unemployed so he couldn’t afford it, again. And another big surprise, I agreed to pay for it again. It was all good except I brought about $1000 in cash to spend on the trip and every time I took money out of it he would comment about how it was such a “fat stack” which sussed me out a little but whatever. About halfway through the trip I got really drunk and passed out and when I woke up the next morning all my cash was gone and I asked him if he kept it with him and he refused and got mad at me for losing such a big amount of money (as if I wasn’t stressed enough) and how he was going to have to pay now (hotels and flights were already paid for, he’d be paying for drinks and food basically). I still don’t think he would steal from me bec if he wanted money he could just ask and I would have just given him and not even asked for it back but there’s nowhere it could’ve gone because I never took the whole cash out of the hotel room and it was just us two there. I didn’t want to accuse him of anything so i let that go and never mentioned it. But that was the first time I got sus ab him with the money.
Fast forward to two months ago, we planned another trip (to my home country this time) which was supposed to be two weeks long but while we were there we were having so much fun that we kept extending it and it ended up being a month long. I saved up hella for this trip because I knew exactly what hotels I wanted to stay at, what places i wanted to go etc and i knew it was gonna be kinda expensive but even then because we stayed much longer it also costed way more than expected. At this point he didn’t even have to tell me he couldn’t afford it, it was just understood that i would be paying since he was still unemployed. But this time he had this new credit card and wanted to increase his credit score so he asked if i could use his cards to book everything and pay HIM back instead, i was like sure whatever. So i booked both our flights on my card and hotels and stuff on his. We had the best time on this trip, felt closer to him than ever so I didn’t mind paying. We decided that I would give him a certain amount in cash (to avoid international transfer fee) and transfer the rest (because countries have a limit on how much cash u can bring without having to report to customs). Once again towards the end of the trip I saw he was still talking to that girl, and it wasn’t just sexual, he called her the same nicknames he called me, he sent her the same reels and stuff on Instagram that he sent me it was like reading his chats with me. I didn’t say anything then, but a couple hours later I asked him if we should see other people too, like keep seeing each other but also see other people (i even said “we both” so he dsnt feel the need to get defensive) and he said no he dsnt want to and he dsnt even want me to. Him lying again when i gave him a chance to end his lie really broke my heart completely (bec at this point he was just lying for the sake of it) but it was just 3 days before we were gonna leave so i decided not to ruin the rest of the trip and end things with him after I paid him back for the credit card (I’d already given him more than half the amount in cash as soon as we met). When we were booking flights to go back he insisted that be take pne with a layover in a third completely put of the way country because it was cheaper and i was like sure, but then he also said because it’s two really long flights he wants to stay in this third country for a couple days bec he wouldn’t be too exhausted and wanted me to pay for the airbnb, I already wasn’t a fan of paying for a whole solo trip for him where I wasn’t going (it was one of my bucket list countries too) so i tried to tell him to just suck it up and take a couple hour layover instead but he wouldn’t listen. AND to make it worse, i saw his phone again (I didn’t even checking his phone or anything even once on this trip, he had the conversation open while he was sitting next to me and i could see) and he was talking to this girl who was around that country and asked her if she would travel there for a couple days to meet him and she agreed at first but once he sent her an airbnb and asked what she thought about it, she left him on seen and never responded even after he offered to pay (im guessing bec initially she just thought he meant they would hang out and when he brought up staying together even she got creeped out). THIS MAN WANTED ME TO PAY FOR HIS INTERNATIONAL TRIP TO MEET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HE TOLD HE WAS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING.
That was my last straw i got so mad and we had a big conversation , highlights: (Note: this is all in a very calm tone, i was holding back tears but no one was being aggressive)
Him: she’s just a friend and I haven’t even ever slept with her or anything PLUS that’s not even happening i’m not going to see her Me: because SHE left you on seen, u were clearly trying in fact ur the one who asked her to begin with Him: sighs & shrugs
Me: what about the girl in (hometown)? Him:
Me: why did u block me after halloween Him: i cnt tell u that Me: is it because u were also lying to K, telling her u were not seeing other people n she found out u were talking to me and to keep her from leaving u blocked me till she calmed down? Him: sighs, leans back and looks away
Me: why is one girl not enough Him: bec I’m not 40 Me: so why do u lie instead of just being honest and saying ur also seeing other people Him: bec i dnt wanna hurt feelings Me: i never asked u for anything u were the one who insisted on being exclusive, u were the one who said u loved me first while u knew the whole time u were lying, u really had no reason to lie? Him: u wouldn’t treat me the same if u knew i was seeing other people Me: i was treating u the exact same before u said all that? When u came to visit me i still paid for everything, u really didn’t have reason to lie Him: sighs
Me: what do u expect me to do now? Him: idk i guess u can see other people too(?)
Me: i didn’t mind paying for u if u were seeing other people n honest about it but dnt want to pay for someone who goes out of their way to lie to me for no reason (i p much never get pissed ab anything as long as it’s honest so there’s really no reason to lie which is why i cnt stand when people lie to me) Him: i understand
Me: did u at least use protection with other people (he told me he was clean and wasn’t seeing other people so i agreed to not using protection since i was on birth control anyway) Him: yes u can get tested if u want (i did and turns out he was lying i came home with a nasty std, I haven’t slept with anyone else in about a year)
After the long conversation we went to sleep and he noticed i was still crying so he hugged me and said “i dnt want u to cry talk to me” so i started saying how idk how to feel or what to do it’s just too much to process that he would do this bec i trusted him so much even when I didn’t want to but he rolled his eyes in the middle of my sentence which ticked me off so i turned away and was like “no dont turn away” to which I said “when im not talking u have an issue, when im talking u have an issue, what do u want?” This was the first time i dropped my calm in from of him and picked up an actually annoyed tone, which seemed to set something off in his head and he just blew up at me like YELLING about how im the one making a big deal out of everything and im the one who keeps turning away and refusing to talk to him etc and then he got up from the bed and punched the wall REALLY hard so i grabbed both his hands and sat him down on the bed and told him to shut up and calm down bec he was gonna get hurt if he keeps punching shit. He already hurt his hand p bad and he just held his hand to his chest and i could tell he was trying to hold in screams bec he was so much in pain. I called room service to bring ice and went downstairs to get him a painkiller. He finally calmed down and fell asleep. The next day he didn’t talk to me for 8 hours, didn’t go out or anything, we just sat there in the hotel room in silence, whenever i tried to bring up anything he just shrugged and continued to not say a word, Finally we both got hungry and went to get dinner after which we got drinks, once we got a little buzzed he started talking to me again and told me he got triggered bec i yelled at him (I didn’t yell but i did get annoyed so i got what he meant) and i apologised.
We were fine for the rest of the day and the next day and the night after that we finally flew back home.
He asked me to transfer him the money for his credit card and i asked him how much it was. The number he gave me was ridiculously higher than the number i had on my spreadsheet (since i made the bookings i even had the receipts) so i showed him saying these were the numbers that I had and he said “no but this is what my card got charged” and he sent me his own spreadsheet that me made (v poorly made no dates or anything, there were even some amounts without descriptions) so i said ok this isn’t helpful, just send me the credit card statement and i’ll see what went wrong in my calculations and he has been making dumb excuses for the last 2 weeks every time i ask him to send the statement like “there’s other payments too on the statement so u might get confused” (as if idk how to read??) or “oh i’ll send it when i open the credit card website next” but he keeps asking me to send him the money like constantly. Another thing that’s weird to me is that he completely disregarded the part where I told him I would only be paying for my half of the trip bec of him lying to me, which I already gave him more than half in cash in the beginning of the trip. Thirdly, not only does he want me to pay full he is also disregarding the money i gave him in cash bec he “spent it on the trip so it didn’t go towards the credit card payment” which I never agreed to give him spending money, that’s supposed to be on him, I brought my own spending money separately so it wasn’t even like he had to pay for both of us.
So basically, he wants me to pay for the whole credit card bill (which he won’t send me the statement for) on top of what i gave him in cash which was more than half of the number HE is giving me (and close to 80% of the number I have) ALL AFTER he lied to me, tried to make me pay for him going to meet another girl in a different country, yelled at me, punched a wall and made ME apologise.
The amount he’s asking for is big and I know he’s unemployed and if that’s the actual number, he definitely can’t pay it. While i can afford it (just barely after everything I already paid for including previous trips, flights for this trip and the money i gave him in cash) i did already tell him I would only be paying for my half (which i already did) and he agreed at the time, and i’m still extremely hurt and angry about all the lies and the drama. If he sent me the credit card statement I would still help him a little bit but he even refuses to do that. He hasn’t talked about anything else except asking me to send him the money for the past few days. I was going to cut him off after I paid him but he’s being kind of not cool about it and it’s not like i just have the money lying around. So would I be the asshole if I just ghosted him with his credit card debt that i know he can’t pay?
Also want to add: i keep mentioning his unemployment bec until February i was helping him improve his resume, prepare for interviews etc (I’m studying HR and recruitment) but after this trip he told me he is not even looking for a job bec if he got a job he “wouldn’t be able to travel as much” which pissed me off more bec im working my ass off to afford all this.

Apologies for this one being so late; Been sick for the last week or so, and the friday i was meant to post this, I think from memory I was busy :/ But I'm starting to get back into the swing of things, and the Glossary Addendum has also had a bit of an overhaul :D I'll be applying that tonight as well, to each of the currently released chapters.
[First] [Glossary Addendum] [Previous]
[From the Abyss Artisanry, Wolfreach Commercial District, Halsion Reach Region, Haldios IV, 12th of Emheraldis, 5011 TE]
[Boltz] The door chimed, though it sounded... Off today, and I sighed. I'd have to replace the old beeper with something else now that it had broken. As I walked towards the counter, I heard Chit's voice from around the corner as she said,
"I'll be right with you!" I frowned, noticing the strain in her voice. I stepped around the counter and poked my head around the corner, and then immediately rushed to help. She was trying to move a Draekkan mace, and causing gouges in the floor as she dragged the heavy weapon.
"Seriously? Leave Draekkan weapons to me, beloved." I said, and Chit nodded as I lifted the massive, spiked club-like weapon. Made of Luunic steel, the metal was cool against my hand as I cautiously hefted it, a dark blue color akin to the Lunwatch sky on a clear night with few stars. I slowly walked over to the storage racks, and hung the mace on a pair of large hooks. Then I turned back to my lover, and looked her up and down for injuries.
Finding none, I shook my head with another sigh. "Well at least you didn't hurt yourself on it." I said, stepping up to her and wrapping my arms around her lower back. I pulled her cool body towards mine, and she happily melted into my embrace. Chuckling, I planted a kiss on her hair, and gently ran a finger down one of her drit'onthke. Her entire body shivered and she giggled, before wrapping her arms around me and giving me a tight hug.
"So what's on the list for today?" I asked, resting my cheek on her head.
"Just a few armour sets which need some minor repairs, thankfully." Chit replied. I nodded, and then the beeper went off, indicating a customer.
"Solahra's Light, what an awful noise to greet a customer with!" A deep, male-sounding canine voice rumbled from out in the customer area. We reluctantly pulled apart and both went out to see what he needed.

As Chit rounded the corner, she automatically greeted the customer by saying,
"Welcome to From the Abyss Artisanry, how can we help today?" But as I stepped around after her, I froze. The canine man was holding a box filled with shattered pieces of art, it looked like. I stepped closer and realised that they weren't shattered pieces of art, at least not in the traditional sense. Rather, they were the parts of what was formerly a weapon. I felt my eyes widen as I realised what it was. I looked at the canine man, and realised he was a Labardon. I looked back at the pieces of plasma caster, which appeared to, on closer inspection, actually have catastrophically failed at a structural level upon attempting to fire a shot.
"I went to the Lunhaekin blacksmith over in Aellandendil, cos they said that fishing my ancestral plasma caster would be an exceedingly simple affair. Instead, the next time I went to fire it, the blasted thing fell apart in my hands!" The man growled, and then asked,
"How bad is it... Is... Is there any way to restore it?" His eyes went wide as if to wordlessly plead with me, and I gestured for him to give me the box of parts. He hesitantly handed the box over and I gently placed it on the counter before pulling out one of the furcloth rolls underneath and unravelling it. Then, one by one, I pulled out each of the pieces, and with each new item, my heart sank.

This would not be a simple fix of just re-assembling the pieces. I let out a heavy sigh, and, leaning on the counter, covered my mouth with the side of my hand while looking at the arrayed parts.
"This is... At this point you might as well just buy a new plasma caster." I said finally, still looking at the parts. I looked up at the man and said,
"If I reconstruct this, because that's what it will take, a full reconstruction, it WILL cost more than buying a new caster." I looked down at the parts again, and swore under my breath.
"The focusing plate has been shattered, and those things are near indestructible when carved right, the prism chamber is cracked, so that's no good any more, and the magnetic acceleration rings..." I trailed off, and swallowed before looking up at the man.
"They're not rings any more..." I whispered, and the man's face seemed to break.
"Is there anything we can salvage of the original parts?" He asked, his voice shaky. I looked down at the parts, and realised that there was just one piece that was fully intact. With a mirthless chuckle, I picked it up.
"The plasma compression chamber. That's it." I laid the small metallic chamber down again, and sighed.
"The rest is just... Junk. Scrap even." I shook my head, running the numbers in my head. When I finished, I swore again, and dropped the bombshell.
"You're looking at around fifty thousand in parts alone." I said, and the canine's shoulders slumped.
"If that's the price it takes..." He said.
"I will try and recover as much material as I can though; I might be able to melt down the mag rings for example and re-energise them."

[A Cycle Later...]
[Chit'eiwu]
The Labardon stepped into the store, a simple digital bell sounding, and he sighed, his tail wagging a little as he did so.
"Much better than last time!" He joked, and Jakob walked around the corner holding a box, grinning from ear to ear.
"Just in time, good sir!" He exclaimed. He set down the box, and the Labardon's gaze instantly honed in on it. Jakob laid a hand on the lid, and said,
"Behold, your restored heritage!" And with that, he lifted the lid like he was proposing to the customer, and the canine's eyes lit up, his tail suddenly zipping back and forth as though it were some kind of demented metronome. As he lifted the ancient weapon, my own eyes widened; It was truly a thing of beauty.

[Boltz]
I smiled as the Labardon man admired my handiwork, and in a voice that sounded like it was half pure air, he whispered,
"It's as beautiful as the day my sire first showed it to me..." My smile widened, and I said,
"I was able to salvage more than I thought, in the end. I managed to keep the primary focus cone; I simply had to melt and recast it due to a crack in it, the laser projector's crystal matrix casing also was salvageable, though I did have to replace the crystal matrix. So it now has a Kaurine crystal for providing the first round of focusing." The man froze, and his gaze flicked to me. His hands still raise, he asked,
"A Kaurine crystal? Genuine?" I nodded.
"Cut the crystal free from the rock myself." I replied. The man laid the plasma caster on the counter gently, though it rattled slightly from his shaking paws as he ceased to support it.
"My sire said that it originally had a Shell crystal as its matrix..." He said, voice trembling as much as his paws.
"They are great crystals for energy conduction as well as for energy focusing. It took a bit to set the frequency for the right channels though." He nodded, and shakily handed over his Orionpay card. I handed it to Chit'eiwu, right as he asked,
"So how much was it all up?" I grinned and replied,
"An even fifty five thousand." He blinked, and asked,
"But... the crystal... Surely that alone would be a few hundred thousand!" I shook my head, and replied,
"It's not a Blade. And it doesn't need to be anywhere near as big. Only came to around three thousand." He nodded, and Chit'eiwu input the numbers and scanned the card. The system registered a successful transaction, and she handed the man back his card.
"Thank you for choosing From the Abyss Artisanry!" I said, and he nodded, his eyes turning shiny with unshed tears.
"No, thank you. All of my friends will be hearing about this, and you will be my first stop for anything artisanal." I nodded to him, and he left, carefully cradling the restored plasma caster in its box. Looking over to the clock, I noticed that it was indicating less than an hour before Lunrise. I jerked my head towards Chit'eiwu and asked,
"Think we should close up the shop early, or wait until Soldown before we stop operating?" She looked up at the clock as well, then back to me, and shook her head.
"No, I think we can afford to close early this evening." I nodded, and pressed the button to activate the end of Watch sign system, and a moment later, a holosign in the window came to life and began a 10 minute countdown.

We always did the countdown so that prospective customers knew how long they had to enter to the store before we stopped taking new customers prior to closing down for the Lunwatch. As usually happened however, the sign completed its countdown and flicked to the "Closed" display, and I pressed a second button to lock the door remotely, and arm the security system. As I did so, Chit'eiwu walked into the apartment, and soon after, I heard the sound of her cooking. I smiled, knowing that she was bound to make an incredible dinner as per usual, and let out a contented sigh as the system went through the arming process. Life with her was... Good. Not necessarily great by any stretch of the imagination; Most of our days were spent working after all. But it was at least a good life. A life I was more than happy to lead.

When the system indicated full armed status some minutes later, I followed my aquatic lover into our home behind and above the shop, and arrived just in time for her to serve up dinner. As I sat down, a stupid grin spread across my face as I beheld what she had cooked up. On the plate was a kind of "nest" made of purple coloured strands of pasta, and topped off with a green-sauced mince of some kind. I looked up at my lover, who was watching me expectantly. My grin refusing to go away, I obliged her apparent intent, and used a fork to collect some mince with sauce, and some of the pasta.

As the food reached my mouth, it was like an explosion of flavours; An earthy, slightly spicy flavour issued forth from the sauce, and the mince tasted somewhat like yuron, a kind of cattle animal from Zehllukarn Prime, and it was followed up by a surprisingly sweet flavour from the pasta as it rotated around in my mouth as I chewed. Swallowing, I said,
"This is incredible! I can't even properly describe it; it's... It's like an explosion of all different flavours coming together in my mouth!" Chit's face turned a fierce azure, and my grin widened. The grin morphing into a smirk, I added,
"You're definitely getting rewarded this Lunwatch, beloved."

[A Few Hours Later...]

[Boltz]

As Chit'eiwu walked into the bedroom we shared upstairs, I put the dishes from our dinner into the automatic dishwasher, and followed her up. As I reached the laundry room, I stripped off my clothes from the Solwatch, and tossed them expertly into the laundry, each garment hitting the wall and bouncing off slightly to fall into the clothes basket waiting below, before walking into the bedroom entirely unclad. Chit'eiwu was laying in the bed, the blanket covering her amethyst body from view, and in such a way that I knew that she too had put her clothes in the laundry. I walked around the bed, and pulled down the blanket to get in beside her, and after that, things turn rather hazy for a little while.

[A Week Later...]

[Chit'Eiwu]
Jakob and I stepped off of the transport, hand-in-grasper, him looking absolutely divine in a glacial blue suit with silver trimmings, seeming to be a walking ice sculpture. Complimenting him, I opted for a taste of my birthplace; Trimmed with onyx hems, I was wearing a deep, abyssal purple dress, showing off my relatively lighter purple skin, becoming a shadow of the Abyss to act as the dark counterpart to my Warrior of the Overwaves. I looked towards him as we stepped inside the Fortress of Kaur'Ainda together for the first time since I was Ascended by both him and Cewa together.
He looked back at me, smiled and squeezed my hand reassuringly, before saying over our rarely-used connection,
There's no need to be nervous; It's just a Greenmarch Feast, my Siren. As I did every time he called me that, I giggled; At first I had been confused by him calling me an alarm sound, until he showed me one of the few surviving Terran records from... Wherever it was that they came from. Terran, or at the time, Human, women of extraordinary beauty, totally uncovered, and singing some kind of song that lured male sailors to their deaths.
Then he had sent me an image of how he viewed me; My plain purple skin instead appeared almost... Luminous, and my average green eyes were glittering emerald gems. My hair, an equally unremarkable azure, was a brilliant blue that resembled the Azuresheet high above even the Overwaves, and in his mind's eye, my cheeks were flushed slightly blue. I had never considered myself to be attractive by any means; In the Abyss I would have struggled to find a mate...
But here in the Overwaves? I had been chosen by a Terran, that enigmatic, smooth-skinned, near-prey-like biped species who were renowned for absurd feats of strength and endurance. I was not as fragile as I seemed, even before my Ascension...
But Jakob seemed to realise that early on; The first time we lay together, an eye-rolling, mind-erasing experience, he showed such gentleness that it was hard to believe the stories... Until the very next day when I had struggled to move a shipment of materials that had come in, even barely raising it, and he had simply come in and told me to let it go, before seeming to effortlessly pick up the heavy box and carry it into the Forge, before placing it down and rapidly sorting the material inside for me. I had asked him about it, and his response was a mere shrug, and to say, It wasn't that heavy for me; Absolutely awkward, but not anything that will break my back.

In the present, we stepped into the Great Hall, and froze. It had been totally transformed, becoming a verdant green forest canopy under which wooden tables seemingly made from the trunks of trees, with seats formed from sections of log from great tree branches. Seiranha saw us enter, and rushed over to greet us.
"Boltz! Chit!" She exclaimed, and hugged us both in turn. It felt... Odd, to be given a hug by a Vampyris, but this particular one was a friend, and so I happily returned the hug, albeit reluctantly letting go of Jakob's hand to do so. We held the hug for a few eternal moments, before she let go and did the same to Jakob, who greeted her warmly.
"You look great!" Jakob said to the Vampyris warrior, and she blushed a deep golden color on her pale cream skin. It looked almost like golden Skyblaze rays were touching her cheeks as she giggled. But Jakob was right; She was garbed in a flowing set of obviously ceremonial armour which appeared to have been made by first weaving a suit of leaves, and then attaching segments of bark to the resulting garment. And combined with her silver-in-crimson eyes...
"You look sort of like a vengeful forest spirit in this armour, Master Seiranha!" I said, and the woman grinned.
"That's sort of the idea. Not many people remember that the spirits of the forests of all our worlds yet live... And for those who do not respect the forest's inhabitants, only death can be anticipated, or worse."

Over the course of what remained of the Solwatch, we enjoyed the Greenmarch Feast, and soon enough, it was time to scatter to our homes once again, to rest away the overindulgences of the Feast.

[Boltz]
As the transport landed at the Wolfreach starport, Chit and I walked down the ramp, though she was somewhat unsteady on her legs. Chuckling, I asked her,
"Would you like me to carry you home?" She looked at me, her face blazing sapphire, but through our connection, she, apparently not realising she was 'speaking', replied, I thought you'd never ask... My mighty Skybright, carrying me like an Inkle in his powerful arms... As the thought travelled over our connection the azure spread, and I shook my head with a grin. I really was the luckiest guy in the Reach to have landed such an exotic life partner. She happily stepped in closer to me, and I swept her off her feet, much to her almost drunken delight, and she let out a whoop of surprise.
However, as her intoxicated brain realised what had happened, she melted into my embrace, burbling away in my ear as though she had been returned to her youngest of Watches. I was all too happy to carry my lover home of course; The sound of her tripled heartbeat like a three-beat rhythm pulsed against my own heart, and her emerald gaze was transfixed on my face, the look in those beautiful green orbs one of utter and complete adoration.

After around 10 minutes, we reached the shop, and I swiped my wristcomm over the new sensor, first up-down, then right-left. The two-part verification proved my identity, and the door swung open automatically, a recent addition I had also made. As we cleared the door, I swept my foot around and behind me to close the door again, and carried Chit to the bedroom in our apartment, before laying her gently down on the bed, and saying,
"Unfortunately, I've gotta take that incredible dress off you or it will be ruined in your sleep." Chit vaguely nodded, and I helped her stand back up. Having done this routine together before, she laid her arms on my shoulders for added balancing support, and I bent down to grab the bottom of the dress, before slowly pulling it up to her chest. Feeling the garment fully above her hips, Chit carefully sat down on the bed, and I carefully pulled the dress up and over her head, then down her arms.

Turning around, I draped the dress across a nearby dresser, smoothing out any wrinkles in it, and then returned my attention to my lover, who was now completely undressed. Once again taking up the role of caregiver, I wrapped an arm around her and scooped her up once more before laying her on the bed sideways, where she let out a small gasp as the cold fabric touched her bare skin. I gave her a reassuring smile and said,
"I'll have you nice and warm soon enough, Heartstreasure." And with that, I stripped off my own suit, carefully draping it over a chair, and then pulled off the underwear I had worn for the Feast, and climbed under the covers beside Chit. Upon feeling me enter the bed, she shifted over, hissing a bit as she moved off the warmed area, and melted her body against my own. As she settled into a comfortable position, one of her legs across mine, she said through repeated yawns,
"May... May you swim... With the... Blessing of... Of Drynedaea... My.... Sky-Warrior..." Chuckling as I wrapped an arm around her back, I kissed her gently on the forehead and over our connection, replied,
"May Luunah Guard your Dreams, Heartstreasure of the Depths." And with that, as if it were a cue, Chit's breathing shifted to become deep and regular, and the sound along with the rising and falling of her amethyst chest against my skin sung its own siren song, dragging me down into...
[Next: To Tread the Shaded Path]

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(Note, this is one of those long, loooong “I went to Greece and this is what I did” post)
I've wanted to go to Greece since I was young. I wrote in my diary when I was 17 that I would go one day and exactly 10 years later I would actually go. Took me 4 years to save up. So I'm very happy.
I have 9 days there, 27th APR to 5th MAY
I arrived very early on the first day which is the 27th with my one backpack and one daypack, and went to Keramikos right away. Had ice cream on the way because I craved sweets after 17 hours traveling. I really love it there and it, along with Delphi, are my most favorite places I visited. I really like how tranquil it is, and I really like the museum and also the tortoises too. I had a dream about tortoises that night. Then I stopped and ate a Greek salad. I learned how to compliment food in Greek and made the waiter laugh lol. The second place I went to is the Agora and the temple of Hephaestus. The whole area is very beautiful, but I accidentally fell asleep and didn’t realize I was sitting where I shouldn’t be sitting but luckily someone woke me up. Felt bad about it :/ Well, anyway, I looked at the museum in the agora too. I really like the big shield (I didn’t know it’s a shield at first. it’s huge.). I found that I get dehydrated so quickly, so I tried to drink as often as I can. I can see the temple of Hephaestus from the agora! It look like a painting. I walked around the place, I just want to convince myself that I’m actually here first before I go to see the temple of Hephaestus. The people back home’s not gonna believe this, the temple is so pristine, so wonderfully preserved. I get to look at the inside which is not often in the pictures. Then I walked past the Monastiraki square to go to my hotel, then came out to get gyro. I slept at a hotel that night because I accidentally booked it (I intend to stay the rest of the night in Athens in a cheaper apartment).
The next day was the 28th May, initially a day trip to Delphi but as I got there I found out my booking was cancelled due to some problem so I booked a new one on the next available day which is the 30th. Initially, the 30th was the day I intended to climb Acropolis because it’s weekday/less busy, but it’s ok! so, I left my baggage in a baggage store place, and walk to Acropolis! I was very excited, my heart beat very fast all the way up and not because I’m tired or anything. I just can't believe I’m actually here. It’s very slippery, and at one point I look and see a long walk up, so I was busy looking at the path and not looking up because I was afraid of slipping, so I get to look around only once I was at the top, and when I look down I finally saw the Herodion and it is bigger and higher up than I thought, and my hair stand up. The Acropolis was ok, but the Erechtheion have always interest me more, because again, it’s on more thing that’s bigger in real life than in pictures. The path down from Acropolis is even more slippery. There were so many musicians, it’s very lively. Met a really cool guy who dressed as Spartan warrior. I walked through the Acropolis museum. I got sad about the missing karyatid, because there were 5 of them displayed, but the vacant space they left for the 6th made me sad. I hope she will stand in that spot one day (I was already missing my sisters and family too… so it feels a little personal to me.) I got really tired then so I ate another salad but this time an Athenian salad. Then I climbed Philopapou! I noticed a tall monument from the top of the Acropolis and wanted to see what it is. On the way I visited the prison of Sokrates, and then this clearing called Pnyx, and it's windy there and got a lot of shade so I slept a while before going to the top of it. Well the monument is beautiful and tall. I can't believe that, compared to the rest of the places I visited before, this monument is considered new. I got lost a bit on the way down (I didn’t go down the way I came. there is a path from the monument and I wanna see where it goes). and um, something happen on the way down. A man asked me if I want to get a coffee with him. I politely declined but that’s the first time in my hideous person life that someone ‘flirt’ with me. People don’t do that, unless as a joke. So I feel weird I guess but not bad at all. Anyway I was so tired so I call taxi with the app Freenow. it’s decent price, I think. I goes to get my baggage and walk to the apartment I’ll be staying and I found a “super food market” on the way (near Temple of Olympian Zeus) and I got some energy bars there. I watched the Temple of Zeus from behind the gate (I didn’t pay to go inside) and see the statue of Alexander the Great on the way. I wash my cloth at the apartment and ate instant rice porridge I brought from home (I was on budget, I can’t eat out every meal).
On the 29th May I woke early so I can have breakfast and hot tea because I got a little sick last night. It’s usually 35 degree celsius in my country so I’m not used to the cold. The tour office is just a few minutes walk from my apartment. I get to sit in the front of the bus and see in front, not just on the side! I’m excited because the route is ancient route, like there are temples on the way, and pass by Eleusis (I really like the book “The King must Die” by Mary Renault and it’s a location for important part of the story about Theseus) After a brief stop where I get to walk to the bridge across the Corinth canal, I finally got to Epidaurus. The theatre there is so unreal. Climbed to the top and still hear the ‘clink!’ of someone dropping a coin on the orchestra below. Museum is pretty, and the fact that almost all the statues are missing their heads are kinda eerie. there are so many medical tools in the museum too. Really made me realized about the fact that people nowaday come to Epidaurus for the theatre but people long ago come here to be treated for their illness. Very difference purposes. The tour stopped at Nafplio for lunch. Had grilled dish and learned how to squeeze lemon on meats. Also went to pharmacy to get something for a sore throat and a face mask. An hour later I was in Mycenae archeological site! I really looked forward to see the Lion gate and it did not dissappoint. Bigger and taller than I imagined. 2 years ago I painted a picture of the Lion gate, and I tried walking around for an angle that fit the one in my painting. I took one, and when I put the pictures and the painting side by side, it’s almost the same angle, just different lighting! (It was morning in my painting, but mid day when I took the picture) It’s very intimidating and I imagine it must have been very scary to defeated enemies or captives, being brought into this city and looking up from their chains to see the lions. The tomb of Atreus is chilling. Both because it’s cold inside but also because it’s, well, a tomb. A large and important one. Overall, Argolis is a beautiful region, a lot of plains and very windy. Once again very tired when I got back to my apartment, but I get to wash my hair!
The 30th is my long-awaited Delphi day tour. Like I said, this was originally on the 28th but due to problem with, I think, the app I used to book it, it got cancelled without me knowing, and the tour company is very helpful and helped me book it for a very fair price, but I’ll just have to buy tickets myself. It’s a longer drive this time, but the sceneries is beautiful. I LOVE mountains, so the views interests me all the way there (even if I didn’t get to sit in the front, and the window is tinted so it’s a little dark) I really admire bus drivers in Greece. The mountain path is narrow in the village on the way, but they’re all very good drivers. It’s quite cold up there. There are caterpillar silk nest on the pine trees that look like cotton candies. Delphi is… um, it’s like it’s not in this world. It’s like it’s from another world, and maybe you could say that it is, it’s from the world in the past, or something. I felt as if I was in a dream. I can’t explain it, but it make the place all quiet and tranquil despite all the wind and the tourists. Like there are tourists, but it also feel as though they don’t exist, but it’s doesn’t feel vacant either, but instead there’s “presence” all around that doesn’t come from the tourists. I understand now why the people in the past believe that this is center of the world, or believe that gods were here. The tour guide said to meet at the museum in an hour and a half, and I really want to go see the small temple to Athena, just beyond the athletes area, but I was afraid I wouldn’t go to the tour guide in time so I didn’t go. Kinda regrets it. Anyway I fell in love at the museum in Delphi. The artifacts inside are gorgeous, I particularly love the sphynx and the charioteer (bought a postcard of it back home) but none as gorgeous as the statue of Antinous. He’s beautiful and I’ve never seen a boy more lovely than him, even the living ones. I seen the stone that contain a ‘sheet music’ and lyrics. I remember that melody, because I played a game called Assassin’s Creed Origin once and the musician NPCs sometimes plays this music. It’s good to finally see the ‘sheet music’ itself! Had a bit of a late lunch and had feta cheese salad, it’s delicious. Another long drive back, where I get to nap a bit.There’s a dessert place nearby where I tried some pastry and then a convenient store where I bought pudding from a freezer. Greece only have 3 Lays flavours that I’ve seen but a lot of bars of grains and cereal to choose from which I really enjoy (especially the ones with honey)
On the May day, I pack my things and checked out, again with my backpack on the back and daypack on the front. I called a taxi this time, before the strike happen, so I can go to the national archeological museum. I know the museum already have place to deposit backpacks. I walked around for about 4 hours. Everything is pretty even if I was still thinking about Antinous. Everything is amazing to me there. I like to be reminded of the fact that it’s really human’s nature to make pretty things. I visited the museum giftshop too. I travelled alone with little space so I know I shouldn’t buy lots of souvenirs, but I did get a lot of postcards because I like them, and allow myself one book. Had a heated gyros outside, just a quick bite, while I wait for a ‘break’ in the strike, then take the taxi to Spata, near the airport, because I have a very early flight tomorrow. I booked a room there that’s really huge (it’s a bit expansive, because there are flight change so I had to find new hotel.) Since I arrived in the early evening, I get to wash my cloths and see it dry before the night. It’s really really cold out here now. I get to rest the whole evening and eat the food I bought earlier. (I took a foldable tupperware with me. I use them to pack lunch for work but this trip I used it to pack leftovers from tavernas). I sleep early and was kinda nervous about the flight, but I woke early too.
on the 2nd of May, I booked a taxi on Freenow since the day before so by the time the taxi arrive, I was already standing outside waiting. Again, I shouldn't have gone out to wait early and should've stayed inside the building until the taxi arrived, because it's so cold, and I think this got me sich later. The flight went well and took me to Herakleion safely. I have a little problem finding which bus goes to the city but I found it and arrived safely to the center too. I took the bus number 2 to Knossos! I got very excited when I see the road sign that indicated that Knossos was just ahead. I ate first though. I had moussaka. I bought an audio guide because I want to try touring using an audio guide, and the direction was confusing, maybe because it's not updated. I ended up walking around and around trying to find the spot the tour was talking about. Knossos is as I expected. It was mostly reconstructed, but I still had a lot of fun imagining what it could look like, and thinking about the people that lived there. It means something to me because I've always been obsessed with the minotaur since I was little, since before knowing what country the story come from. So seeing something related to, or even potentially the origin of the tale, has been super exciting to me, and also because, as I mentioned, I really like Renault's “The King Must Die”. I really love it there. The review said it’s not authentic and I agree, but to me, it matters enough that I’m here, so I’m very happy with that. Unfortunately, I spent so much time in Knossos that I didn’t spent as much as I want in Herakleion musuem! Still feel bad about that. But I get to see the bull leap frescoes, and all the pots and vases and statues with bulls on it. There’s so many thing with bulls, like a statue and a really beautiful bull head vessel and a small statuettes with people grabbing on a bull’s horns. I really love them all. I get to see the real vase with octopus. I have a blanket with Minoan octopus on it, it’s good to see the real thing. I got a tiny bronze bull replica of the one in the museum. It’s small so it doesn’t weight much. Unfortunately, for the rest of my journey, I’d be sick. It start with sore throat that evening, which progress into symptoms of sinusitis. I had to visit the pharmacy again. Hot tea didn’t help this time, my nose was too dry for too long and I think I’ve been cold for too long as well.
The 3rd of May is holiday, I know this, so I pick this as the day to travel to Chania via bus and explore Chania. I woke up when I’m ready because I’m in no rush today. I ate all the supplies I had for dinner and breakfast to make my pack light, so I head out of the hotel and walk to the bus station. I waited a while, feeling myself getting more sick. It was about 3 hours to Chania with no bathroom break so I suffered a bit, but wow, the landscape of Crete is so much different from Attika. It’s less trees and more of large bushes. All the way, the right side is the sea, and the left is the mountain. It’s beautiful. I miss the cypress though, there are less cypress in Crete. On the way though! I saw a goat with a really big horns. I think it’s one of those Cretan wild goat, which I was excited to see at Samaria gorge. I had to use the bathroom real quick after I arrived. The bus stop is near my hotel, but it’s not time to check in yet, so I went and had lunch by the harbour. Look pretty just like in the pictures I’ve seen! I had calamari and sakanagi. It’s so delicious and refreshing. They have rice which is different from the one in my country, the rice is tiny and round and cuter than the white fluffy rice at my home. I was so full. I learned about how, after you asked for the bill, they’ll give you dessert first so I really look forward to it. I got a really good dessert too, and had to sit a while because I’m so full. I walked to the hotel, and there are two identical entrance. Luckily the staff was there and show me the right entrance. My room for the last 3 nights is small and cozy, really love it. I hope to eat out at dinner, but unfortunately, by that time, my sickness got so bad, I can only walk to the nearby supermarket and buy a salad and tea with honey. Tomorrow I was supposed to go hike the Samaria gorge. I’m a regular person, I wasn’t super fit, but I’m not a weakling either, and I have hiked in my country several times but it’s a different climate (hot and wet tropical jungle, not dry and cold) and I got Covid once which got my health down so bad that I had trouble even walking up stair but I bounced back since then. But this hike is a bit longer than my longest hike, so I trained myself for it for about 6 months and got fitter than I’ve ever been. I was so ready, sooooo ready. But that night, I had to emailed them to cancelled the hike because I got a bad fever, and my throat is all red. I just tried making myself feel comfortable all night. It’s a sad 4th of May, but I got better in the evening! When I’m sure I was well, I went out. Tomorrow everything will close again so this is my last chance to buy souvenirs. I got more postcards and, since I couldn’t go to Samaria to see the goats, I bought myself a little goat plushie that have “Love Crete” embroidered on his back. I would love if I could buy plushie from different countries I visited, of an important animals of that place (I got an emu from when I was in Australia) and for dinner, there’s this place called To Xani that I’ve read review of and wanted to try so I went. I have rabbit stifado because I’ve never tried rabbit. It’s like chicken but less fat and more sweet, to me. So far, that’s my favourite dish of all I’ve tried in Greece. That night, I planed to go to church and see how Christian celebrates Easter, but unfortunately, as the night gets late, I got sick again, so I went to sleep.
The 5th, my last day, is my relaxing day, which initially I want to use it to stroll around the city and chill. Instead I lay sick almost all day. I haven’t eaten the Cretan dish on my list yet, which is last one left on my list; Cretan pie. So I went out anyway during the evening and ordered a takeaway to eat at my hotel. At least I’m happy with that, especially because I stopped to watch the sun set for the last time before I leave tomorrow.
I pre-booked a taxi which take me to the airport. I flew from Chania to Athens, then I switched to another airline that take me home, with a 4 hours stop at Istanbul. during the longest leg of the flight, which is Istanbul to my home, I got more sick so rapidly (I think the cold and dry cabin air got me) I feel so guilty because I was afraid I might make other people sick too. (I wear mask all the time). 28 hours after I left my hotel in Chania, I got home safe with a new goat friend.
So, that’s my adventure! I’m not sure why I got that sick.It’s not covid though. I noticed that the dry climate made me thirsty very often and I think maybe I was dehydrated? Or is it simply the cold? Or maybe I caught something from Greek people because I noticed a lot of people were sneezing. Is it the season? I noticed some olive trees have flowers when it’s supposed to bloom in summer, so there’s an unusual weather and that make people sick and I caught something from them?
Next time I’ll bring some medicines of my own because medicines are expansive there. Next time, I’ll be better prepared. I want to go back again, because I haven’t seen everything yet. And especially have not hiked Samaria yet. Maybe next time, I’ll go when it’s warmer, but not in the middle of European people’s summer holiday, because I don’t like too many people.
Anyway, the trip may have ended badly, but over all it’s still a wonderful trip. I learned a lot about traveling, I become motivated to start another side hustle so I can make more money to travel, I learned about life outside my country. It’s also worth everything I have been doing to get here too. Overall, I’m very very happy, and can see myself going back there again.
Actually, during the time I prepare for this trip, one of the preparation is learning how to speak Greek. I learned on free online sources, and I’m proud that I get to speak Greek to Greek people (say things like "This food is delicious" "I like it" "the weather is cold" "I'm traveling for ten days")
I think people will ask because somehow some people can tell, so I’ll answer first, yes i have autism. I don’t expect many people to read to the end but thank you if you do. English is not my first language so I'm sorry for grammar mistakes that I made. Feel free to talk about your own experience too because I always love hearing about it. I’m from Thailand by the way.

Big rant alert
I love my mom a lot, I don’t hate her and I don’t think she’s inherently a bad person. Honestly though I have many memories and feelings that make me feel like I was very emotionally neglected. My mom is a victim of many forms of abuse by her adoptive parents, she told me while I was a young age that she wanted kids of her own to create a good family which looking back feels very strange with the context. A bit later, which started when I was again very young she met a guy, I’ll call him Keith, and Keith was very very neglectful towards me. He had kids of his own and therefore he didn’t want to give me more attention than his kids, and he would often see me doing self harm as a young kid like choking myself and hitting myself as funny. He would also yell at me and sometimes would trap me under bed sheets until I couldn’t breathe. I remember one time I was young and had to have a stool to step on to see myself in the bathroom mirror, I stepped on it not knowing our cat had its paws beneath it and the cat screamed. I was horrified and immediately stepped off but Keith was home alone with me and heard it, he immediately opened the bathroom door and yelled at me while I tearfully tried to explain what had happened. My mom did nothing and defended Keith. I also came home with my mom one night to see rose petals and candles all about, Keith came out and was affectionate with my mom, but then proceeded to tell me to stay in my room the entire night, the only reason I came out of my room later was because I had to pee so badly and I was so scared when I did, before i peed I stopped by moms room and asked if it was okay to use the bathroom, keith said yeah as if I was stupid, again my mom did nothing. I longed for a dad figure to be there because my biological dad (let’s call him Kyle) left when I was about two and I had a very limited relationship with him. My mom forced me to call him every week even when I would beg not to and after each phone call to him I’d be devastated for days. Later on when I was about nine years old my mom, although very estranged from Keith, got with him for a bit and had a kid, my baby brother (I’ll call him D), but Keith didn’t want anything to do with D and I ended up helping with raising him while my mom worked. I love D but he has many special needs and I ended up helping a lot, taking him while my mom felt stressed and would sometimes throw things (which she did with Keith, I have several memories of her throwing stuff like silver ware and keys close to Keith’s face, which six or seven year old me would try to regulate, I’d run after her trying to comfort her). A year later she had my sister (I’ll call her T) and when she told me she was pregnant I cried my eyes out because I was so stressed already with D and I knew my responsibility’s would become more especially since Keith didn’t want anything to do with D and T. I remember we went out with dinner with my grandparents that night after she told me about T and I had to pretend everything was okay especially since my mom didn’t want them knowing. Fast forward a bit and my mom has a new fiancé who was super weird and hated me from the get go. It came to a head when he sent me a text that I didn’t respond to immediately and he stopped talking to me. He even told my mom I was dead to him and she didn’t do anything but relay that to me. She would also tell me everything he disliked about me, one day before school she went on a rant about all the stuff he thought I was doing wrong and was bad about me, and in my first period class other kids were trying to comfort me, even ones I didn’t know, because they saw that I was in such a bad mental state and couldn’t hold it together. They would also have sex loudly in the room next to me, I told her I felt uncomfortable hearing it and she told me to get earplugs even though I was like 13 and couldn’t afford anything. I also tried to tell her I felt like I was third wheeling their relationship like with Keith, she told me to stop talking and walked away. She would also tell me that R hated me and my siblings and often talked about leaving me with them forever. Later on they had a kid together (I’ll call her O) during my sophomore year of high-school. She also has some mental problems and so it was difficult, when she was an infant my mom informed me I wasn’t going to be in physical high school anymore, that she enrolled me in online high school so that I could take care of O throughout the day and pick up D and T when they got out of school. D was in first grade though while T was in kindergarten so I often would help raise O, go and get T and then go back to get D while carrying O and guiding T. I also would have to stand outside and wait for T to get out it kindergarten with other parents while holding O but I was under strict instructions not to let anyone touch O because my mom didn’t want it. Later on I finished high school and went to online community college, while that was happening she met her newest man who is now her husband (let’s call him Ray). Ray is still in her life but again didn’t like me. The first night he was there he told me he was angry with me because in his eyes my mom was doing all the work and I was doing nothing (he first came over when I was with family which I coordinated with my mom but he saw it as I was gone and she had to do everything). Then the patterns began to emerge again, my mom would tell me that Ray would go to her and tell her that he was pissed at me. Not only that but both my mom and Ray would come to me for advice on how to keep their relationship good and I tried to help as best as I knew how. Later on he and my mom had a kid (let’s call him R) and I would have to take care of R and the rest of the kids for hours on end, often being the one to find ways to help him stay calm and feed him. Ray would offer me weed and alcohol often, later which he used against me as a way of being like “I’m giving you things so be grateful”. Later on in that I came out of the closet, my mom was mad at me for it and wouldn’t tell me she loved me for months, she barely acknowledged me and yelled at me. Ray would tell me he was ashamed of me especially for upsetting my mom. He would often tell me I was lazy, irresponsible and dumb. Also after I came out he told me I was unnatural and dumb. Later I was in the early stages of moving out and he literally told me “yeah well if you were actually smart you’d stay here with us” and would also shame me for comforting my siblings after he would yell at them and hit them. He very much prides himself on how he can intimidate people especially me and whenever I spoke up with him he’d sit me down and make me shake. There was one instance where I actually stood my ground a bit and told him “well hey I didn’t back down” and his response was “HA yeah that’s cuz I didn’t force you to back down”. My mom was present at that conversation and completely defended him, even in conversations with her and I she completely defends him all the time. I’ve tried to tell my mom how much Keith, R and ray hurt me and she’d tell me to basically shut up. Especially with Keith because according to her that was in the past and therefore didn’t matter now. I also confronted her about how depressed and suicidal I was when she neglected me after I came out and she said I was responsible for how I felt in that time period. I also couldn’t have mental breakdowns or panic attacks around her because she’d say I was overreacting and dumb for doing so. Despite all of that I still feel like I’m in the wrong, which is why I’m talking about it here, I still feel like I need confirmation that I’m not a horrible kid. In my teen years I was very angry with her after all that happened with Keith and eventually R, I wasn’t the nicest person to her and I feel really guilty about that. So idk, maybe I’m in the wrong here, idk. I just need some clarity ig.

Warning: This Story is a little bit too long
So In 2022, I remember it was Eid Mubarak, a holiday for muslims. And in Indonesia (My country), there was a tradition for eid, where every year you will go to your hometown.
I live in a city Indonesia called "Bogor" and my hometown is a city called "Cirebon". So Me and my entire family is going to Cirebon. We will going to met our extended family in my grand grandparent's house, so it's going to be fun!
But we can't sleep in my grand grandparents home because it was too crowded and many of our extended family is sleeping the night there, so we book a hotel room to stay for a few days.
When we arrived in Cirebon, we got to the family gathering event and in 6pm, We arrived at the hotel.
Me and my cousins prepare everything for the night. I remember that we book 6 hotel rooms for us and our family, and the hotel looks really good but also kind of scary.
The hotel got an entire park with a treehouse and a playground in the park. I can't even describe how good this hotel was! But we see the receptionist in the hotel looked like they were from like 1900s. But.. nevermind. We were happy until we got back to our room after dinner. It was 8pm and I was going to sleep with 3 other cousins. Let's say their names are Josh (21M) Daud (16M) and Saka (12M).
We have to walk to a spooky hallway with a bunch of paintings to got to our room. The rest of our family is still having dinner so we are just going to walk alone to the hallway.
In the hallway, Josh and Daud is going to a bathroom, while they go to the bathroom, I specifically see a woman with black dress and a hat probably from like the 1930's. And I said to the woman like "Oh hello miss" But as soon as I look back, The woman screams at us like "Explosive!" And she disappeared not longer after that.
I didn't know what she means and when Daud and Josh got back, They said security stopped him and is searching for explosives.. And when we got to our room, Saka said before we got to the room, there was a moving painting.
And we have more weird things happened like screams from the park. That is until Josh realized that He booked a hotel with a bunch of reviews saying that it is haunted.
So we planned to cancel the rest of the day to sleep in the hotel and searched another hotel that was normal.
But there was a Plot twist, in 9pm, We are going to a supermarket and ask people why that hotel was haunted.
But guess what they said.. Because a guy there said that "Isn't the hotel got bankrupt and was destroyed 30 years ago?".
And that is why all the people in the hotel looks weird...
The hotel don't even existed..
But, the truth is that the hotel wasn't destroyed. It was just a rumour. But the receptionist still looks weird anyways..

Today, I ruined everything. So, I was happy as can be in my genderfluid existence, consuming biographies of trans women and of course “Whipping Girl”, when I realised that I don’t have full autonomy of my wardrobe, body or appearance.
I realised there isn’t an inch of shame in me left to spend on my dreaded “transness” as depicted in the media and in phobic discussions around various dinner tables and coffee shops over the years.
I’ve got this bundle of twine inside me that I call my gender experience; and until this point I would look at it quizzically and think: “hmmm, that’s weird.” I would fall in love with dresses and shoes, and make up and wigs. And I would still go out and enjoy my cis male privilege in the world. Some kind of genderfluid transness in the shadows where it’s safe, but for all intents and purposes a man in the light.
Because for 25 fucking years I was told that MY gender experience was wrong; and it would get me excluded, disadvantaged, discriminated against, maybe killed.
So the dual life I chose; because it felt safe. Not liberated, but liveable at least.
And suddenly it clicked; I wanted to shed my male privilege, take off the armour of falseness and start fighting the good fight in a pair of heels. I wanted not to become a man or woman, but a TRANS PERSON. I wanted to become a raging pink flame in the darkness of patriarchal oppression that the younglings could see and say “look, there’s a fucking way to be who I am.”
I imagined a goddess on HRT, thick booty and thighs, cute lil boobies, a strong jawline, soft skin, the years rolled back. Soft Glam make up every day; whatever fucking combination of grunge, steampunk and cottage core I could dream up. A fearsome picture of genderfucked-ness that says we’re here, we exist and there’s space for every goddamn one of us. A captivating, bold beauty that did not hide anywhere, from anyone. Long punk rock hair (with a regrown hairline) and a shaved side; piercings, the perfect winged eyeliner.
A house, a career, a killer car…. Maybe I get to keep my wife too? Maybe we could be A walking middle finger to the patriarchy that wants us gone.
I let slip that I wanted to put HRT on the table as a possibility for the future. I wanted bodily autonomy that would take me away from pure AMAB. And it broke my wife’s heart. She thinks I’m a liar for ever saying it wasn’t part of the plan (I swear to fucking god herself it wasn’t). She’s currently taking space and deciding what she wants to do.
The kindest, most loving person to ever hold space for me, even the possibility of me being pretty, and I broke her goddamn heart.
WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO HARD.

My parents and I identify as Catholic. Recently I have been getting much closer to God and my discernment for certain things has been heightened. I have noticed that a lot of the practices in my household are not in the bible. These include: using candles called "the seven african powers" and "road openers." When I brought it to my mothers attention she was very angry and is currently telling me to repent for lack of faith. I just do not think these are even Catholic practice candles. My understanding is that the candles are a symbolism of God's light. Am I wrong for no longer wanting to participate in light these candles?

More of a "basic human interaction" issue I guess!
I'm on a work trip abroad and one of my colleagues and I went out last night to see some of the sights. Initially I had no ulterior motives (I've recently separated form my long time gf, and have been busy with work so relationships aren't really on my mind atm), we had simply discussed wanting to see some of the sights before she left (this afternoon), so I invited her along to one of my evening walks and she happily accepted.
We had a great evening, talked all night and there was definitely a connection, body language, light touching etc. Later in the evening we joined some of our other colleagues for dinner and had a few drinks, where one of them commented to me in private that he thought we looked good together, which got me thinking that actually, she was very much my type and perhaps I should see how things go.
A few more drinks are had, then we all return to our hotel where everyone parts ways - she comments that she needs to pack her things but wished we could have had more time to chat, so I wish her goodnight and we part ways.
Myself and another colleague stay for another drink, then head to bed.. at this point I decide to send her a text saying that I had a great time, enjoyed her company etc., and she reciprocates. This is where I fuck up.. I then stupidly decide to invite her to my room and she doesn't reply. I awoke this morning feeling mortified. I also realised she probably thinks I'm an asshole, as no one really knows I've recently separated from my ex (she had been a part of a conversation earlier in the week, where another colleague had mentioned my ex as if we were still together, and I did not correct them).
We work in a very large company and it's unlikely we'll bump into each other at work, but I feel like I should apologise for my inappropriateness and also explain that I am no longer in a relationship... but i'm unsure if it's too late for that and should just let it be and wallow in my embarrassment... part of me is also thinking that i'm overreacting. As i'm sure you can tell, it's been a while since I've been this position!
Any advice please?

I saw a post on one of the CPTSD subreddits and it made something huge click. Therapy's not until next week so I wanted to talk about it with someone. I was raised by my NGrandparents who were only ever my legal guardians. But my grandma and I moved to another state when i was 1 while my grandpa stayed behind until he could retire.
When I was little (between 1-6 years old) my grandma liked to treat me like a doll, but expected she could put me down when she was bored. I remember she dropped me off at her brother's trailor a lot. He lived nearby with his wife.
He was a heavy smoker and died of a heart attack when I was 6. For the longest time, i didnt think it affected me. I would always say I was lucky to not know grief until my cousin died when I was 19.
Today I remember the rest. She dropped me off at his trailor a lot. Now that the memories are back, it's the majority of my memories from that time. I grew up in that trailor park, despite my caregiver being unemployed in the suburbs. That house had 5 rooms, she always hid from me, and when i was there i was cooking and cleaning and housekeeping until i moved for college. She didn't even bother to look at me when I was there.
I remember the trees, and how the soil smelled. This was in the desert, so I remember the adobe and how it looked with sunset's light, i remember mesquite wood and seed pods and fire pits and cigarettes and beer and spicy air at dinner time. I remember Fleetwood Mac playing on their radio, the crochet in the trailor, cheetos and cucumber gatorade. I remember the cats and dogs and snakes and ground squirrels, i remember a tire swing, and i remember the neighbors were friendly. I remember feeling dread and sadness when my grandma's car rolled in, i remember the gravel crunching and hot tears on my face. I remember the lesbian couple who gave us their cat, and when my grandma gave him back but told me he left because i was a bad kid.
My uncle taught me how to get stuffies from the claw machines. We used to plug quarters at a bowling alley i think? I just remember the toys. He gave me a lot of toys. My grandma gave them all away.
I remember seeing him on his death bed. I remember feeling scared but being told not to be. I remember not knowing what to say to him and being chastised instead of guided. I remember being in my grandma's car after he died, and her telling me I'm not allowed to be sad because he was her brother and he meant nothing to me. I couldn't possibly understand her feelings so I needed to shut the hell up and stop bothering her. I remember she started talking shit about his wife. She apparently said something to her about how she treated me, cause i remember her being very angry about how she was my mother not this woman. After he died we never spoke to her again. I wasn't allowed to be sad about that either.
I've been crying for a few hours now. I've reached the shaking-with-rage part. Who does that to a kid? You're the one who neglected me and dropped me off with people who cared about me. He was my family too and I wasn't even allowed to mourn him. I always said "my grandma's brother died" and couldn't understand why people felt sorry for me too. It's because my feelings mattered. I just wasn't allowed to think it.
Edit: I'm realizing I definitely got into Supernatural because of this uncle's music taste and flannel

My parents and I identify as Catholic. Recently I have been getting much closer to God and my discernment for certain things has been heightened. I have noticed that a lot of the practices in my household are not in the bible. These include: using candles called "the seven african powers" and "road openers." When I brought it to my mothers attention she was very angry and is currently telling me to repent for lack of faith. I just do not think these are even Catholic practice candles. My understanding is that the candles are a symbolism of God's light. Am I wrong for no longer wanting to participate in light these candles?