Hello everyone,
While reading the comments below this post, I realised that some of you might need a little help with writing a cf4cf post. Some are shy to post, while some just don't know what to write about themselves.
Writing something about yourself can be a daunting task. Hence, I thought of making this structure in case it helps anyone.
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Provide details about yourself

• Age
• Sex/Gender
• State/city you belong to (home town) and your work location
• Languages you can speak/write fluently
• Eating preferences
• Drinks/smoke/drugs preferences
• Religion/religious views
• Political views
• Personality type: introvert/extrovert/ambivert (some may even choose to share their personality type as per MBTI)
• Careefuture plans
• Hobbies and interests
• Lifestyle and health
• Pets
• Why are you childfree
• Your views about sharing responsibilities

What do you expect from your partnewhat kind of partner do you expect
What kind of relationship you are looking for
Deal Breakers
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Optional points:
Some might want to share more details such as height; emotional/financial independence, how many people are in their family and their bond with them; expectations of the type of family of the partner (whether you wish to stay independently with your partner or are comfortable staying in a nucleajoint family); about past relationships; kind of relationship they desire to have.
Your passion towards your hobbies/interests brings forth your personality. So write about it elaborately. Use adjectives to describe yourself.
I do acknowledge that putting your information on a social media platform can be risky. So feel free to include/exclude points as per your choice and convenience.
Just follow the normal safety rules of being on the internet and talking to a stranger.
It is Sunday tomorrow. Go ahead and make your cf4cf post!
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Personal experience
I made a post last year and met my partner through that post. I was new to Reddit when I made the cf4cf post (just two months in). I actually joined Reddit to find a forum for childfree people as I didn't know any childfree people back then. I was pleasantly surprised to see the cf4cf posts. Matrimonial sites weren't helpful. So, I wanted to make a post too but I was shy and scared at first. One fine day, I just sat there writing about myself, taking inspiration from some posts that were posted on Sundays prior to that day. I asked my brother to proofread my post before posting.
When I look back on the post I made, I feel I might have given a lot of information or may have missed out on some important points. But making a post is just a starting point. You share more information and get to know the other person by chatting with them once you start getting responses to your post.
I got some responses too (as comments on the post and as DMs). Being an ambivert (leaning more towards introvert), I was overwhelmed by chatting with 7 to 8 new people on the same day. But as you chat with different people, you get to know them and also understand whether you are compatible with them. Once I knew I wanted to take it ahead with my current partner, I did let others know that I wasn't looking for a partner anymore and gave an update on the post. Most of the guys who sent me DMs were good. Once I told them about my partner, they respected my decision.
I do acknowledge that I got a few creepy messages too. But I used to either report/ignore them depending on the severity of their absurdity.
Even if you don't meet a partner through your post, you might get to know some CF people.
Anyway, I have to end it here. All the best to all of you who are looking for a CF partner. I hope you get some courage to make a post.
Have a nice weekend. Thank you.
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P.S.: Apologies in advance in case there are any mistakes in the post.

Platform(s): PC
Genre: First-person Walking Simulator
Estimated year of release: 2012-2019
Graphics/art style: The graphics were less polished than a game like the Stanley Parable (it felt more blocky and plain). It reminded me of 3D games made in Unity. The setting seemed like it was sandy and bright so perhaps it had an Arabian setting. Most of the game takes place in a palace though I can't remember the finer details (perhaps very grey)
Notable characters: You play as a bomb maker. The only other characters would be the queen (I can't remember what she looks like), a group of soldiers, and the narrator who you don't see.
Notable gameplay mechanics: It's basically like The Stanley Parable, where a narrator narrates your actions as you walk around. It has multiple endings and it's comedic. The plot is that you are a bomb maker who was tasked by the queen with making a special bomb that, when it detonates, removes the will to fight from those around it. She planned on using it on a nearby city to have her troopers invade soon after. However, you are working with a rebellion group and you have the option to use it on the palace, giving the rebels a chance to storm in and usurper the queen. In one ending, you can just throw the queen off the balcony. The narrator usually ends a playthrough with a "And so ends the story of the ______ bomb maker"; the blank being an adjective descriptive of the ending.
Other details: It might have been made as part of a competition, like the Ludum Dare contest.

[TOMT][2010s][CARTOON]My dad remembers this show he watched with me when I was younger, let's see if you can...
It was an animated kids sitcom about two characters who may have been brothers and they have a business where they try all sorts of things. Their business plan fails at the end of every episode. It may have looked similar to Gumball in its animation and it might've been on Netflix. Its title is in the format "[Name] & [Name]'s [Adjective] [Noun]", and the noun was probably Business. Let me know if you've got a clue!

Hey y’all, Apologies in advance for what I know is a really dumb question. I started listening to the first CC audiobook yesterday and I am LOVING it so far. I really like the world building and the expansion of the universe beyond the fey and find Bryce to be a great FMC compared to the way SJM portrayed some of her other female characters- namely feyre in ACOTAR. However, one thing that kinda gets me is that I can never tell what ‘race’ any of the characters are. I know that these characters are fictional, and I know that the idea of ‘race’ in and of itself in the real world is also nebulous, but while listening to CC and acotar before it I have found the descriptions of the characters skin tones to be really vague. I don’t know if it’s because I am a person of colour myself that this is keeps bugging me, but what the heck does “golden” or “dark” mean? Like I am mixed race (white and black) and I feel like both of those adjectives would describe my skin colour but they could equally denote someone with dark hair and features from other places (i.e Mediterranean or middle eastern etc.). I feel like it takes me out of the world a little bit because I feel like I can’t visualize the characters in my head. Also, before anyone comes for me, I am asking you guys mostly out of curiosity to see what other people think, and I am also aware that it doesn’t matter and that I am free to imagine the characters however I wish but I just kind of want to see if anyone has anymore clarification.

When I opened the book on the first pages there was a family tree. This, to me at least gave the book a twisted turn like plot idea, a chic idea, a somewhat ominous feel. It was a vast family tree (it stretched 2 pages at the very least). The family tree contained names of two married people dating back to maybe (I say maybe) the 18somethings. It lists parents, siblings, aunts etc. it’s then goes down to “present day” and lists the deceased (adult male). The book starts as a woman (a white woman. [I don’t remember race being a factor in this book at all but I genuinely put it as I feel it might help. DISCLAIMER: typing White when in search of the book may not help as it will lead to more racialized books/topics. I just thought it can be a identifying factor]) (the book has nothing to do about race) goes to a (small?) town. If I’m remembering correctly she has a harrowing experience as soon as she enters the town as she felt chased by an unseen being, perhaps an animal. She was warned about a local legend by a bizarre acting local. (This all happened at night). (Shortly after) She then arrived at a very large home. A mansion. On a hill (maybe on a hill). She was greeted by the family. This all happened within the beginning of the book. The family started having dinner. Late into dinner that night a female character arrived. The author describes this particular female character in many adjectives. She was very meticulous. She described this woman in such an fervent and elaborate way. She detailed a “beautiful” woman with long dark hair down her back, “curvy”. Her description of her was grand. From the way she walked and swished her hips to how beautiful she was and how sexy men found her. The characters entrance was described as if all men stopped when she entered the room. It was soon revealed that this particular character was the black sheep in the family as another character started feuding with her at the dinner table. This other character goaded the “beautiful” character. She shamed her gossiping to everyone her choice of men. She then began to age shame the woman citing she is almost 40 (double standard there as a man would have easily gotten away w/ this). She then taunted her asking her “how old is this one” or “how old is this one this time” referring to the formers choice in younger men. She said 19. The woman then shouted “you’re sick”. It was soon revealed at that dinner table that the reason the woman dated such younger men was when she was a teenager she dated the deceased (the last individual listed in the family tree at the very first pages of the book) who was 19 at the time, thus giving her a preference for younger men. My belief is the death of the deceased left her traumatized, she internalized that and dating younger men reminds her of that time. At the table that night during the revelation she said something in the moment of grief such as “I was 17 and he was 19” “so beautiful, so young” something like that.
Details that can be different from the above:
the family tree that listed 2 married people could’ve listed a mother & father instead
The main character that goes to the home of the deceased is either a writer trying to look for answers involving the deceased or she is a family member
She probably wasn’t met by a bizarre acting local that warned her about the gossip ridden wealthy family but probably went to the local police station instead where they supplied her with some answers/info on the family
I read the book in 2018
I think the genre of the book is crime or mystery I am not sure
the book did not seem old, it didn’t seem brand new neither but not “old”. I don’t know what you all would consider old
I can’t tell you for sure what the time period the story took place in but I doubt it was anything during or before 1800s-1970s
the location seemed to have taken place in the United States (almost 100% sure)
if I’m remembering correctly the book cover could have been red and black
I believe the author was a woman (it could have been a man, but I’m leaning more towards a woman, almost 100% sure)
the book is in English
it was published in the United States
The author is white

DISCLAIMER I know a lot of this post is barely related to the subject or very redundant. The main reason I’m sharing is to get people engaging and maybe help others if they’re at a dead end with their research. I didn’t include any in my original posts for this reason. Please don’t read if you’re going to get pissed and say I wasted your time. I warned you.
One last weird connection with loose ties to Drake
The Drake and Delilah Connection: An Expose on the Hollywood Club Scene and it’s Controversial Connections and History
Before I start I just want to say this is a fraction of the info online, but many articles are behind a paywall on the LA Times site. If anyone is interested and has or wants to buy a subscription feel free to add more in the comments. The price is not too bad, I just don’t need any more links because this post is already insanely long. I’d also be willing to bet there are thousands of court cases related to these clubs that could be relevant.
I think I may have shared this first part or seen it posted, but I have a real weird feeling about the club Delilah in Hollywood. It is located on 7969 Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood. I find this interesting because it’s a huge celebrity hotspot and has been shouted out constantly these last couple years. I read an article about AK meeting SixNine’s manager and him saying it felt like some Illuminati shit was going down. A very interesting connection is it used to be called Club 7969. Here’s a quote from a very interesting article about Club 7969 along with a link to the full article. From the looks of it the location has been extremely popular over the last couple decades despite a couple name changes. Excuse the outdated terminology, a lot of sources are from the nineties and early 2000’s.
“Club 7969, at the corner of Santa Monica and Fairfax in West Hollywood, was packed as usual last Friday night. Fridays and Mondays are drag night at the club, and flocks of trannies in full feather turn out for the midnight stage show. The drag revue also draws a large contingent of transsexual prostitutes and their johns, including, until recently, the house celebrity, Atison Seiuli, a.k.a. Shalimar, who was riding with Eddie Murphy in his Land Cruiser when the pair got stopped by the LAPD a year ago this week.
Seiuli died two weeks ago, falling to her death from the roof of her apartment building on South Berendo Street in Koreatown. According to Rampart homicide detectives, Seiuli, wearing only panties and a bra, had locked herself out of her apartment and was trying to lower herself from the roof to her fifth-floor window with a towel tied to a railing.” https://www.laweekly.com/the-new-hollywood-sinkhole/
Not only does the above quote possibly directly connect to the whole ballroom drag stuff, it may also contribute to rumors of many male rappers and other famous people being caught with trans women. Obviously it’s not a huge deal anymore, but it’s always been a thing. A few more interesting connections are the Drake song 7969 Santa and all the Delilah shoutouts he’s made throughout the years. The owner even calls him family.
I linked a very interesting Reddit post I found from five years ago with more info below. Y’all can thank the Drake sub for digging up dirt in their boy. https://www.reddit.com/Drizzy/comments/dpnk0n/a_study_into_some_of_drakes_street_ties/?rdt=60420
Another weird connection is the initials of Santa Monica are S and M, which is interesting considering the past history with Dominatrix shows, which can get fucking nuts apparently. I have a wild theory this may be where Drake got his alleged blackmail on Ye and potentially a lot of other artists. In the description on Delilah’s Instagram page it says, “nothing to see here.”
Delilah is part of a large group of famous nightclubs owned by a company called The h.wood Group, which is owned by Brian Toll and partner John Terzian. Apparently they’re involved with Coachella, Cannes, and F1, along with many others.
Below are two very interesting articles about Terzian. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/28/style/john-terzian-hwood-clubs.html
This one talks about his ambitions to get into the hotel business. https://hwoodgroup.com/h-wood-groups-john-terzian-dishes-on-what-it-took-to-build-a-35m-nightclub-and-restaurant-business/
I don’t mean to go to weird here, but does anyone find his love of chicken tenders a little odd? With the tender reference that Kendrick made I’m starting to think there might be something more to this word and chicken tenders could had some other meaning. I know it sounds like some p gate shit, but you never know. Please don’t take the definitions below too seriously odds are the dude just has the pallet of a ten year old or he could be a Wall Street Bets bro 😭
Potential possibilities from urban dictionary:
Chicken Definitions- “A term used to describe a young (generally gay) male; often used with connotations of twink.”
“An underage male who prostitutes himself to middle-age men -- usually married professionals and businessmen -- by standing on certain city streetcorners known for the "chicken trade."
“chicken is an underage boy who older guys like to have sex with.”
“An attractive woman with thighs and breasts (like a real chicken)”
“An attractive woman with thighs and breasts (like a real chicken)”
“A young woman/A young homosexual”
I know there is also the expression “choking the chicken,” so it could be referring to male genitalia. I also see a few people using it as a code word for weed and meth, which are both massively popular in the club scene, LBGTQ community, and LA (also the whole west coast pretty much).
Tender Definitions- “Used to descibe a female who is very good looking in that innocent way.”
“The dating app for underage children”
“A feminine acting male”
“A male’s tender meat, the testicles, the softies, the soft ones”
“Young innocent girl”
“These said "Tendahs" must be of legal age otherwise they're just chicken nuggets.. stay away from chicky nuggets.”
“an adjective describing someone or something being sexually attractive or "hot", this term is especially used in the male gay community”
“A pussy or vagina”
Chicken tender definitions- “Testicles”
“Fat elongated cocks”
A girl under the age of 18, but looks of that to be older.”
“Refers to a man over 40 years old who is sexually appealing to younger females”
“Someone who is especially well skilled with cock”
As I said, there are probably similar definitions for most words on UD, and even if there was some hidden meaning, chances are it’s probably just a gay thing.
The same article also spoke about going into the hotel game. Has anyone made the connection between Hilton hotels and Paris Hilton who inspired the Kardashians and many other families to exploit their daughters to get them famous. Anyone remember her talking about the Elon school recently? She also used to be the OG do nothing celebrity back in the day. It could just be my distaste for most billionaires, but who knows how deep the hotel shit really goes.
I also found a high end hotel in Hollywood that may be for swingers, but also may be into some weird shit behind closed doors. I was going to post the link, but their site conditions were so strict and scary I’m not even mentioning their name. It is in LA, as are pretty much all the places I mention below. I tried to narrow things down to West Hollywood which is where Delilah is located and where Drake and Ye used to live, along with tons of other hugely influential people. I never knew until recently, but there are two other Delilah locations in Miami and Vegas. All three cities are known for a lot of debauchery and they all tend to be celebrity hotspots.
LA articles- Background of club mentions a TON of relevant people. https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2023/06/how-delilah-became-unofficial-sanctuary-for-the-rich-and-famous
Apparently no phones allowed, maybe unless you’re considered family. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/video/kanye-west-drake-more-flock-new-west-hollywood-hot-spot-delilah-thr-eats-952265/
Vegas Articles- Mentions a lot of h.wood clubs and more attached celebrities. https://hwoodgroup.com/hollywoods-swanky-supper-club-delilah-is-coming-to-the-strip/
Another article with more info. https://www.forbes.com/sites/yolarobert1/2021/06/16/the-hwood-group-is-partnering-with-the-wynn-to-bring-delilah-to-las-vegas/?sh=39362e04c9fe
Miami Article- Discusses the opening of new location and history of club https://www.miaminewtimes.com/restaurants/waterfront-restaurant-and-lounge-delilah-miami-opens-in-brickell-18646289
Some more articles about the previous clubs at 7969 Santa Monica, the owners, LGBTQ community connections, and some sex/fetish clubs that are still operating to this day. This whole section is going to be NSFW. I tried avoiding any direct links to anything super explicit, but I’ll make another warning before the link if I think it’s important enough to post. I can’t promise what you’ll come across if you research further into this subject. Please be careful going on any direct sites tied to any sex related organizations and if you find something sketchy at least read the user conditions on the site before posting or sharing any info. You never know if they’re doing everything by the book, and one of the sites I visited seemed to be trying very hard to download malware on people’s devices. They even mention they can’t be held liable if anything you click on their site happens to give you a virus.
I found that kind of odd considering the rest of the site looked like a p gate researchers wet dream lol. There is always the chance they could just be trolling that exact same crowd. The one thing that made me take it at all somewhat seriously was the fact that the site belonged to a pretty high end location. The owners could also just be quirky, but I’m definitely being more careful to make it clear that my claims are just theories from now on. The way the sub is going lately it couldn’t hurt. One last thing please don’t harass any businesses or people related to them for any reason, even if they seem sketchy. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty and it’s not fair to accuse someone of anything unless you have irrefutable evidence. This is one of the biggest reasons I believe that there is more to the story. I really don’t think Kendrick would have said what he said if he didn’t know at least something for certain.
Ok last thing I promise, another important thing to remember is just because you see some freaky ass shit doesn’t mean it’s illegal. Some BDSM stuff can seem really fucked up to someone who is more reserved or has no experience with these types of kinks and fetishes. As long as everyone is of age, chances are it’s all consensual and no one should be shamed for their kinks. These connections are more for people to see how heavily sex influences Hollywood. Please don’t harass or kink shame some innocent people trying to get their freak on. I know there’s a big gray area here, but it’s always best not to antagonize anybody unless you want to pay to back it up in court. It also makes it fair game for them to do the same to you and things may not always end up going in you favor.
Another article about h.wood and it’s connection to Hakkasan group. Hakkasan is now owned with Mohari which has a massive portfolio of hotels, apartments, yachts, and restaurant groups. https://hwoodgroup.com/the-h-wood-group-announces-reacquisition-of-global-rights-from-hakkasan-group/
https://moharihospitality.com/portfolio/
Warning there is a lot of policitcal incorrectness or generally offensive shit in some of these articles and quotes. Please try to just look at the facts and avoid any anti-LBGTQ language or conspiracies. A ton of different rappers and famous black men have been accused of or have been caught with men or trans women. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but I get why it is for some people. There is no excuse for any type of ignorance and I will gladly remove some of these links if people think they’re harmful.
Club 7969 has a very wild history, and was formerly known as Peanuts. Here are a few more related articles I found aside from the Eddie Murphy one.
An article from 95 about club 7969 https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1995-03-24-ca-46449-story.html
Articles describing area around Club 7969 as a hotspot for trans folk and further discusses a famous hate crime murder in the area. This is still a HUGE issue today. https://la.indymedia.org/js/?v=cont&url=/news/2003/10/86034.json
https://www.advocate.com/crime/2021/11/09/marquiisha-lawrences-death-makes-2021-deadliest-transgender-people
Article going in to the club’s history and some of it’s many name changes. Apparently it used to be a jazz club at first, then it turned into The Pink Pussycat which was apparently super popular with The Rat Pack. I find it interesting some members were known for having some interesting sexual proclivities. After it closed it was bought again and renamed Peanuts, which was primarily targeted towards lesbians for a while. After Peanuts came Club 7969. https://forward.com/life/122322/the-jewish-matriarchs-of-striptease/
An article related to the one above that may have a House of Ebony connection. I honestly can’t understand more than half of it lol https://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/18/nyregion/thecity/18burl.html
Another article mentioning two more clubs previously located at 7969 Santa Monica, this is like five now and some appear pretty kinky. Voyeur came after Club 7969 and was followed by The Box, which became DBA then Delilah. I may be missing some, but I think I covered them all. https://patch.com/california/westhollywood/burlesque-club-to-open-in-former-voyeur-location
Some random magazine saying Voyeur was one of the top five LA party spots. https://www.thefashionspot.com/runway-news/170899-partying-in-los-angeles-top-5-celebrity-hotspots/
Here is an article about Voueur saying it was inspired by the movie Eye’s Wide Shut. Jesus Christ! Stanley Kubrick probably did get killed. http://www.guestlisthollywood.com/voyeur-club.html
Article mentioning political scandal attached to Voyeur club. https://patch.com/california/westhollywood/new-nightclub-going-into-former-voyeur-club
NSFW Only video ever filmed inside the club Voyeur, I thought I was about to watch someone get murdered at first, but it’s just a weird, five minute commercial with tons of boobs. https://vimeo.com/106139205
Articles about DBA which only was open for like two years before it was taken over by owners of Delilah. Apparently DBA was one of the best fetish clubs in Hollywood. https://patch.com/california/westhollywood/new-weho-nightclub-replacing-voyeur-to-be-always-evolving-always-changing
https://laist.com/news/entertainment/the-best-fetish-clubs-in-los-angeles
When I was looking up more about Voyeur, which was also a huge celeb hotspot, a lot of other really sketchy looking results popped up with direct links to current sex clubs. I’m not gonna link any and I’d stay away from most of them besides the SNCTM one that seems to be pretty mainstream knowledge and has a Showtime series dedicated to it. Regardless there probably are a lot of very risky clicks on all these sites.
I advise people to stay away from any direct sites and stick mostly to articles. The LA times has more than enough. Trust me I’m sure some of these sites also contain shit you wouldn’t want to see or have in your search history.
I also found a few links to a couple very well funded, massive swinger groups with tons of connections all over the world. I would hope it’s just a lot of rich and horny old people, but this whole industry tends to attract some unsavory people as well. I never expected this LA sex club rabbit hole to go so deep. It all started with the Eddie Murphy connection.
Articles about a VIP Hollywood sex club called SNCTM. Apparently the founder got blacklisted for revealing Hunter Biden is a member lol no wonder all the republicans want what’s on his laptop! You really can’t make this shit up. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snctm_(club)
The website is Illuminati as hell, also extremely NSFW. How the fuck does a sex cult have m a full product line? The founder’s website also looks like it belongs to a 60’s sex cult. He kinda reminds me of Jared Leto. If this is what they’re willing to show the public I can not imagine how wild shit gets behind closed doors. Apparently, SMCTM hosts events in LA, NYC, Miami, Moscow, Kiev, and other places around the world.
I find the political ties here very interesting. I wonder who else might be a member? Apparently it’s based out of NYC, but it’s flagship club was in LA. Anyone want to start a Gofundme to try and raise a million dollars so someone in the sub can become a Violet Key Benefactor and collect some more dirt? Kidding please don’t. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a22116662/snctm-celebrity-sex-party/
https://nypost.com/2023/05/20/damon-lawner-founded-sex-club-snctm-it-ruined-his-marriage/
https://www.wmagazine.com/culture/karley-sciortino-sanctum-unmasked-podcast-snctm-sex-club-interview
It reminds me a lot of NXIVM cult with the celebrities that got busted not too long ago. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/NXIVM
Some more popular Hollywood nightclubs that were notorious or very sketchy
Article about Fake club https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/01/the-secret-history-of-hollywoods-wildest-club-in-the-1980s
The Chapel in The Abbey is a popular LGBTQ club in West Hollywood that seems to be connected to the culture. https://thepridela.com/2020/01/las-only-known-trans-nightlife-event-just-got-a-little-more-fierce/
An article from late 2023 about the history of the bar https://www.foxla.com/news/the-history-of-the-abbey-west-hollywoods-world-famous-gay-bar
Another interesting article from a few months later about The Abbey’s sudden closing. Good think it only took 17 years of allegations for them to get shut down 🙃 https://19thnews.org/2024/01/investigation-the-abbey-los-angeles/
The Odyssey club’s owner John Nash was allegedly the mastermind behind the Wonderland murders and a huge celebrity drug dealer. He also owned the Starwood Club in West Hollywood, the Soul'd Out club in Hollywood, Paradise Ballroom, the Seven Seas, Ali Baba’s and The Kit Kat strip club. Celebrity dealers are another really interesting rabbit hole to go down as well. https://laist.com/news/climate-environment/laistory-all-ages-dance-club-the-od
Two more articles about the famous Viper Room where River Phoenix died. https://www.thevintagenews.com/2022/04/13/viper-room-closing/
https://www.visitwesthollywood.com/stories/feature-the-viper-room/
NSFW More about all types of fetish clubs and communities in LA https://thekinkytourist.com/the-kinky-guide-to-los-angeles/
One group claims to host a Dominatrix convention at the Hilton near LAX and also claims to have worked with HBO, Netflix, Showtime, Epix, and VH1. “Hotel parties” also seem to be a common trend amongst these very sex-positive communities. Renting out cruise ships and resorts all over the world seems to be common as well. To me this shows they are at the very least well funded and have a global reach. Chances are it’s a bunch of fat, old, married couples who no one would want to watch get down like at The Villages in Florida. It seems like many of the more exclusive ones could potentially have some influential members.
Article about sex club The Vault and it’s celebrity guests including Naomi Campbell. Looks like it’s from an old ass gossip site though so I would do further research. https://www.cinema.com/news/item/2779/stars-secret-sex-club-revealed.phtml
Unfortunately homophobia was always been prevalent in the industry and the source of lots of gossip. It was definitely very prevalent in the rap game in the nineties and early 2000’s. For those who don’t know Ma$e was part of Bad Boy Records. Considering the blackmail allegations against Diddy, and how Ma$e seems to have a vendetta against the guy, I wonder if this info hitting the public had anything to do with him. https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.5241/title.mase-caught-with-a-transvestite
I also stumbled onto the song Disguise by Skepta, it’s super offensive, but weirdly on Genius.com the number one related song is Pi by J. Cole and Daylyt, which has been mentioned on the sub a few times. I just thought it was interesting because it just randomly popped up in my searches while looking into this whole subject. I looked into Skepta and saw he was a British rapper who once did a song with a Nigerian rapper named Wizkid and Drake. It’s funny when you read the Wizkid wiki he also got caught denying a son. Skepta also did a few songs with the A$ap crew including A$ap Bari, who got kicked out of the crew a few years later. Lastly he also did a whole private show with Ye, so he could have connections to the whole blind item thing with the British rappers.
This next section is mostly for education, entertainment, and engagement so free to skip this one, especially if you though the rest was a waste of your time lol
Dolph Theory Continued…
I forgot to add something to my Young Dolph conspiracy in the last post. I find it very interesting that his song “Hall of Fame” came out in 2022, after his death. He also just so happens to directly call out Diddy and Jay Z. Considering the timeline it seems like he died not long after recording it unless it was just part of his catalogue of unreleased songs. He also calls himself “the Frank Lucas of the south” which might have also pissed Diddy off considering who his father is. I attached the lyrics of the first part below.
“Ha, I see you niggas goin' broke tryna keep up with me (I see you)
Bad boy spendin' millions out here like I'm signed to Diddy (it's Dolph)
Showed up plain jane Rolex, had a meetin' with Roc Nation (okay)
But they got 'bout four, five, six rap niggas over there that be hatin' (on God)
But I still fuck with Jigga, tell him I got two million for him (for what?)
To do a verse, and if he don't, I still got love for him (on God)“
In my opinion he’s implying that he’s above both of them and has more power in the south than they do up north. I’m sure neither appreciated the shout out considering their past histories. It makes me wonder if this whole beef with Yo Gotti was started as an excuse to take Dolph out. Hilariously it ended up backfiring and making him even more famous and their own artist look like the bitch he is. That would explain the many broad day assassination attempts following a relatively tame diss track compared to “Not Like Us” or some others in the last. I always loved Dolph because he never had any real dirt come out about him despite his past and long history in the rap game.
Another Disclaimer I’m not super into all of these artists and I know very little about most of their backgrounds. Honestly some of them are pretty corny in my opinion, but seem to connect with a lot of people. Please don’t attack me here, I’ve just been pretty good at finding artists with mainstream potential. I’m getting old and I’m sure it shows, but if you do agree or disagree I’d love to hear why. I hope all of this could possibly lead to changes in the industry that will allow some of these artists to get the attention they deserve. Maybe if Drake isn’t able to manipulate the algorithms and hog the spotlight it will open up some room for new talent.
I also tried making a separate list of as many people I could think of that I see possibly making waves in the future. I tried including artist’s that might not be on everyone’s radar for anyone in the same boat as I am. If you’re a rap fan I’m sure you know the majority though. The list includes some independent, some local, a few underground, and a couple brand new artists who I think are slept on or that might have mainstream potential. The list contains mostly rappers or artists who I consider at least somewhat adjacent to the rap game (they are in no particular order).
That Mexican OT, Key Glock, Peso Peso, Lil Darkie, Lil Boondang, Azizi Gibson, Paris, Texas, Kurffew, Lil Ugly Mane, RXKNephew, Tom the Mailman, ilyTOMMY, Lil Toe, Curtis Waters, ICECOLDBISHOP, 1nOnly, Mick Jenkins, Injury Reserve, Danger Incorporated, Alex Wiley, Finesse2Tymes, Mach Hommy, Navy Blue, 42 Dugg, Teezo Touchdown, AM, TrippyThaKid, MIKE, Chester Watson, Tabby, Shy Glizzy, Jakey, Savage Ga$p, BigXthePlug, Hunxho, Kenny Mason, Billy Marchiafava, Jean Dawson, Daylyt, SpotemGottem, Pooh Shiesty, Victor Internet, Kevin Abstract, KYLE, Powfu, Shrimp, NF, Tiagz, Lentra, Michael Motorcycle, Oh Geezy, L’Orange, Jeremiah Jae, Hoodrich Pablo Juan, Ramirez, Ghostmane, Witchhouse 40k, Kxllswxtch, Haarper, Yunggoth, Dom McLennon, Merlyn Wood, Woodie Smalls, Sniper2004, Teejayx6, Kasher Quon, BabyTron, Polo G, Famous Dex, Felix Flexin, Hemlock Ernst (Sam Herring), 83 Cutlass, Snupe Bandz, Big Moochie Grape, Sikworld, Futuristic, Dash, Hooligan Chase, Freddie Sunshine, Triple One, Roy Blair, OG Maco, Cousin Stizz, Desiigner, Nebu Kiniza, Bas, KAYTRANADA, DRAM, $NOT, The Buttress, Rav, NADA5150, Tierra Whack, Father, IDK, Rich Brian, Lil Wop, Bill $aber, Warhol.SS, Mike Lolli, Lil Tecca, August 08, Rejjie Snow, Princess Nokia, Lil Mariko, Fukkit, Guapdad 4000, Key!, 24kGoldn, Salami Rose Joe Louis, Terror Reid, Ameer Vaan, ITSOKTOCRY, Divine Council, Rob $tone, Hozzy, Yung Scandoo, Clipping., Junglepussy, Kenny Beats, Zack Fox, UnoTheActivist, Hodgy, Left Brain, GERM, Al Wonder, SBTRKT, Gao the Arsonist, Christ Dillinger, BRUHMANEGOD, Armand Hammer, Manny Sanchez, Big Baby Scumbag, Bishop Nehru, Allan Kingdom, Nosaj Thing, Bobby Raps, Earthgang, SadBoyProlific, Milkavelli, Zzz., Lilbootycall, and Higher Brothers if they can improve their English.
RIP Cloudy Nueve, Lil Keed, and Sad Frosty *Update I forgot Injury Reserve broke up after Groggs died. I don’t want to start any conspiracies, but they’re another example of a group that was hit by tragedy when they were possibly on the verge or taking off. I always felt like they could have taken some of the spotlight off of Migos and I know they both recorded in LA a lot around the time. My ex’s brother used to intern at a studio where Quavo and some other QC artists frequented and he said they were all kinda shady. Also another friend of mine with close industry ties has been saying QC was shady for almost a decade now.
And last but not least…Captain Murphy if Flylo hasn’t abandoned the project or rapping entirely and he doesn’t retire first or switch entirely to soundtracks and directing movies. It was released in the form of a 35 minute music video made by Xavier Wulf. Along with the music it includes a step by step guide to becoming a cult leader. I highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys MF Doom or other sample heavy rappers. I won’t include the link because it is EXTREMELY NSFW, but the album/video is called Duality. The version on Vimeo is the full uncensored version, but I’m pretty sure you can find an edited version on YouTube that doesn’t contain the graphic sex scenes.
For those who don’t know Flylo and Kendrick are frequent collaborators. My wet dream collab would be the two of them with Flylo rapping alongside Kendrick. If I could bring one rapper back from the dead to make it a trio, it would without question be Doom. It can’t be AI generated though because we all saw how that went for Drake. On top of that Doom’s wife already lost her husband and son and one of his past collaborators stole all his journals. Last I heard still hasn’t returned them, but I could be wrong. It might be a good thing this collab is no longer possible. I doubt anyone would ever be able to top it in my eyes and even if they did fifty full albums it would never be enough. I’d probably never feel music the same again.
My big three rappers who are still alive include Kendrick, Flylo, and probably Earl Sweatshirt. My big three dead rappers I’d want to see collaborate would probably be Young Dolph, MF Doom, and probably Mac Miller. My alternates would probably be Ye, Bone Thugz, and maybe Tyler the Creator on team Earth, along with Lil Peep, Xxxtentacion, and Juice Wrld on team Universe. Also RIP Lil Bo Weep, the poor girl was clearly a victim of the industry and I think she could have been huge, especially with the Tumblr crowd, if her mental health didn’t get in the way.
Below are some more artists I see being very competitive or marketable in the future. It mostly contains musicians who are already pretty well established, but still not really considered mainstream.
03 Greedo, Jasiah, JID, Khalid, Curren$y, Big K.R.I.T., Oliver Tree, Ski Mask The Slump God, slowthai, Steve Lacy, YG, Jay Electronica, Lil Tjay, G Herbo, Maxo Cream, D4VD, Danny Brown, A$AP Ferg , Action Bronson, Kevin Gates, MadeinTYO, Yung Lean, Thundercat, Cuco, Sheck Wes, FKA twigs, Baby Keem, Jpegmafia, Joey Bada$$, Rico Nasty, Freddie Gibbs, Shakewell, Cordae, Rx Papi, Isaiah Rashad, Flatbush Zombies, Freddie Dredd, bbno$, Yeat, Death Grips, Yung Gravy, Smino, Pouya, Fat Nick, Corbin, Goldlink, BIA, Joji if he starts rapping again and actually takes it seriously.
For my bilingual people I’m not sure how mainstream these guy are outside the states so if any are already major league, retired, or horrible people let me know. Same goes for all the rappers above.
Kaktov, Happy Colors, Santa Fe Klan, Jackson, Gig Yag, Mora, and Big Soto
Some potential producers that I could see making a name for themselves
Shlomo, TNGHT, XXYYXX, Psymun, Giraffage, Getter, NxxxxxS, and Nedarb
Unfortunately I ran out of room for some additional info about Kodak Black, substance use disorders, psychology, and recovery options anyone can use. If anyone is interested I can send it. I know I’m already gonna get shit all the tangents. I also have another in depth essay I recently wrote outlining my conspiracy about the US opioid epidemic. Again I won’t attach it here, but if these type of subjects are relevant or interesting to you I can send it through private messages. I hope some of this knowledge may be helpful to someone struggling or helping someone who’s struggling with their mental health or substance abuse issues.
Last thing I want to talk about is the current issue I’ve seen a lot of people being threatened, doxxed, and harassed. I know how much this can suck, so everyone who has avoided it thus far please be thoughtful about what your posting here. I always try to make it clear everything I post are theories strung together by facts or coincidences. Every single thing I claim that can’t directly be backed up by a legitimate source is just my personal opinion or theory. There are also a lot of ways you can avoid any issue. Don’t be dumb, but also don’t let anyone intimidate into staying silent.
If there are any lawyers in this sub or possibly reading this post, it would be very helpful if you could share some guidelines for what is ok and what to be careful about posting. Most people including myself probably aren’t aware about the specifics of these types of things and what would qualify as defamation vs. what’s protected by free speech. Even if you’re on the other team and here to build a case against a user in this community, if you took a minute or two to share some advice you’d gain a lot of my respect.
If you made it this far I hope you were able to gain something from this little bonus section. If you feel like I wasted your time I apologize, but I did warn you. I encourage people to keep criticism productive or at least keep the trolling to a minimum. Feel free to downvote me to hell, it’s really not important to me and you guys also shouldn’t let things like Karma influence what you share and what you don’t. If you see something good or bad speak up and don’t be afraid of negative feedback. Not everyone is going to agree with everything you say, especially when it’s important. Having the bravery to say it anyway is what separates leaders from followers and often the good from the bad. It may be more important than anyone realizes.
Thanks again for sticking around,
The Randomest Moniker

Context
Subject of discussion: Whether using "literal" translations of the New Testament like Young's will help people more accurately understand the use of the Greek term aionios and the concept "eternal" therein
My last comment before being blocked:

This won’t really help anyone who doesn’t anyone have a good grasp on Greek or linguistics in general. It very well may only confuse them further.
I think I’ve seen some outdated lexicons — and many others — try to reduce the fundamental meaning of aion to “age,” under the guise of greater literalism. This is a huge fallacy, though. Critically lexicographically speaking, aion has no fundamental meaning that’s shared between all of its uses. For example, you’ll be hard-pressed to find any real semantic connection between its old Homeric and poetic use as “life-force” or even “marrow,” and its use as “permanence, perpetuity.”
However, the adjective aionios clearly etymologically derives from the latter meaning of aion — also clearly distinct from the late use of aion as “age, era.”

Context
Subject of discussion: On the meaning of the noun kolasis in koine Greek, and whether it's semantically distinct from the related noun timoria
My last comment before being blocked:

Yeah the comment that I linked to has been taken out of its original context (because the original post was removed). But it’s a response to the claim that kolasis is ultimately a form of correction done for the benefit of a person, while timoria is truly retributive punishment or torture.
Aristotle had specific rhetorical aims in offering an analysis that was somewhat akin to this — though not as specific.
But what everything after the intro of my linked comment demonstrates is that in actual usage from about the 5th century BCE onward, there’s no semantic distinction between the words at all. Kolasis is ubiquitously used to refer to execution and all sorts of gnarly torture.

Note: Legitimately no clue why I was blocked. Conversation was on the AncientGreek subreddit, and was barely even related to Christianity at all.
Context
Subject of discussion: Roughly the same as the previous one.
My last comment before being permanently banned from ChristianUniversalism:

So for the non-Greek speakers, let me explain. This meme appears to be arguing that the phrase on the left — not actually used in the Bible — truly means "eternal torment"; but the phrase on the right, which is used in the Bible, means only a temporary kind of constructive correction or punishment.
There are quite a few problems here, though. To start with the most significant: It's somewhat unusual to see the adjective adialeiptos held up as the model for expressing true eternality or perpetuity: one that the Bible might have used if it had really intended to do so (in distinction from aionios), as alleged. It's unusual because adialeiptos is used twice in the Bible; and in both of these instances, it's very clearly not used to express eternality or perpetuity. Instead, it seems to be used more often to denote something that's constant in frequency — including over a comparatively short period of time — rather than something that endures over long expanses of time and/or truly eternally.
More often than not, the more common argument these days is that an adjective like aidios is what truly expresses eternality in distinction from aionios. I covered this other claim rather exhaustively in this recent post, too.
As for the nouns that they modify in the meme: BDAG, the standard lexicon of Biblical Greek, notes for kolasis that earlier philosophical "limitation of the term . . . to disciplinary action . . . is not reflected in gener[al] usage." This also addresses the misconception, perpetuated in more questionable lexicons from the earlier 20th century, that in actual Biblical and contemporaneous usage, kolasis denotes constructive or educational correction while timoria denotes retributive punishment or torture. Instead, they appear to be used interchangeably in all relevant literature.
Finally, some notes on form and spelling. Timoria is feminine, so the accusative will be timorian, not timorion. And now my most pedantic gripe: as a general rule of thumb, it's kind of awkward to cite generalized or hypothetical phrases in the accusative. Instead the nominative is standard here; so you can just use kolasis instead of kolasin, etc.

Note: It's inarguable that this comment led to my ban. However, the moderators went on to claim that it was instead part of a larger pattern of combativeness, and that this was the real reason. At the time, I protested this, and pointed to my recent comment history on the subreddit and how it demonstrated a lack of combativeness. On further clarification, the mods eventually admitted that it was more a pattern of constant disagreement with users on the subreddit rather than combativeness/rudeness per se, and that they preferred a subreddit of like minds (even if claims that were constantly repeated there were historically inaccurate, etc.).
Context
Subject of discussion: The Hebrew syntax of Leviticus 18:22/20:13, and whether the adverbial accusative phrase מִשְׁכְּבֵי אִשָּׁה can function qualitatively or not
My last comment before being blocked:

It’s hard to believe people treat Hebrew here as if it should function exactly like English (mostly) does. There are plenty of instances in Hebrew where the accusative alone functions qualitatively, where elsewhere we might see an explicit preposition. (To add to that, there's no explicit "in" either.)
This is the case elsewhere even when we have a cognate accusative, as in Leviticus 18:22/20:13 — such as in Leviticus 25:42.
As a sidenote, interpreting it overly literally as "woman's bed(s)" is a mistake, too. מִשְׁכְּבֵי אִשָּׁה is effectively the same idiom מִשְׁכַּב זָכָר as in Numbers 31:17 and elsewhere, just with the gender switched, and flipped active/passive. All together, Lev 18:22 is very clearly should not sleep/have sex with a male in the same manner as [one would have] intercourse with a woman — just as Leviticus 25:42 talks about how Israelites shouldn’t be sold in the same way as slaves are sold, לֹא יִמָּכְרוּ מִמְכֶּרֶת עָבֶד.

Context
Subject of discussion: Whether נָחַם in Genesis 6:6 means "avenge" or "console," or alternatively "regret."
My last comment before being blocked

So even if it can mean that, you still need to offer an argument as to why it more plausibly does mean that here. Possibility is not probability.

Context
Subject of discussion: On what grounds my interlocutor interpreted the lesson of the Tower of Babel narrative in Genesis 11 to be about "the dangers of hierarchy and the ways the powerful seek to kill God"
My last comment before being blocked:

You speak of “reading the text” as if there’s anything else said about the building process itself other than those three sentences that I posted.
Also, midrash (as in actual rabbinic midrash) is near-medieval fan fiction with utterly no historical relation to the original narrative, nor any critical insight into it.

Context
Subject of discussion: Whether the Latin Vulgate's translation of the New Testament introduced distorted notions of afterlife punishment, in contrast to the original Greek.
My last comment before being blocked:

Do you know Greek or Latin?

Context
Subject of discussion: The meaning of "savior"/saved in 1 Timothy 4:10, and whether this suggests different degrees of mores of eschatological salvation
My last comment before being blocked:

I’m not contrasting interpretation and evidence. Why on earth would I be doing that?
I’m precisely claiming that all of the evidence suggests exactly what I claimed: that 1 Timothy 4 has nothing to do with degrees of eschatological salvation — a notion utterly absent from early Christianity, maybe outside Gnosticism.

Context
Subject of discussion: Whether there was any (rudimentary) notion of purgatory in the New Testament; and whether I'm "clearly a Catholic/Christian trying to fish for people by coming off (poorly) as an intellectual."
My last comment before being banned from excatholic: Too long to post in full; here are the first and last lines:

Your combative and dismissive tone almost makes it seem like you have some sort of emotional or theological investment in this issue. Try viewing it more dispassionately, from a purely historical perspective.

...

The New Testament isn’t a cohesive theological work, but a repository of different and indeed contradictory traditions — sometimes even within the same individual book. Eschatological traditions are no different. Don’t think like a fundamentalist.

Context
Subject of discussion: The function of the morpheme מִ in the word מִשְׁכְּבֵי in Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13, and whether my interlocutor claimed that it functioned prepositionally/comparatively or not.
My last comment before being blocked:

You cannot be serious. You said it was a particle of comparison!
You… don’t even know the distinction I’m talking about, do you? You have a degree in Hebrew and you think the distinction between basic nominalization of a verb with preformative mem and the presence of inseparable min is a somewhat artificial one? That is literally shocking.

Context
Subject of discussion: Whether there was an attested Jewish practice of quoting the first words of a psalm as shorthand for reciting the psalm.
My last comment before being blocked:

You can call it “evidence” or “counter-evidence” or “a pineapple.” But I can’t believe I have to explain that if you want someone to believe that a claim you’re making is true, you’ll actually have to provide data/arguments to support it.
Your word alone isn’t good enough. That’s why we don’t hire random people off the street to be scientists or professors.
(As for my own claim, I’m claiming something doesn’t exist — viz. it’s not attested. I’m not sure how I can further prove that. The only way we could falsify it is if you offer contrary evidence that it does exist.)

Context
Subject of discussion: Whether the "Gehenna" referred to in the New Testament was a literal trash pit around the time of Jesus.
My last comment before being permanently banned from dankchristianmemes:

It’s a myth that it was used as a trash pit. In the Hebrew Bible it’s a notorious valley in which children were immolated in ritual sacrifice.
By the time of the New Testament, the idea and imagery of Gehenna had been transformed — from an actual earthly valley to an otherworldly realm of afterlife punishment.

Note: Originally perma-banned for "antisemitism." I had to go to lengthy effort to track down the moderators, and finally convince them that my comment was a mundane reference to how the Biblical texts themselves (Jeremiah 7:31, etc.) mention idolaters/heretics in the First Temple period sacrificing their children by fire in the valley of Hinnom. Ban was reversed after this.
Context
Subject of discussion: Whether eternal conscious torment was believed by any Christian prior to the 4th century, and/or only became prominent "around the 11th century"
My last comment before being blocked: Looks like I edited/removed the bulk of the comment. If I remember correctly, I was indeed quite rude.
Notes: Yeah I think I deserved this one.

If you’re reading this on a desktop, turn on Dark Mode to enhance the visibility of hyperlinks
 
This is a response to this video by Kurzgesagt.
 
A few comments of mine:
Romanticizing / idealizing this journey like the music in this video suggests, is dangerous. Generally speaking, music indeed resonates with me currently in a way which I always longed for – but only occasionally do I allow myself to immerse myself fully, as any such fantasies can be exploited by the system to sell you a fake world.
I’m also not that birb in the thumbnail of the video – at least not “the chosen one”. “The chosen one” is misleading – first of all, I have come to realize by now that at least the most lucid phenomena mentioned here and here were induced by the system. I tend to leave comparatively insignificant mistakes up because I’d rather stand by them than to hide them, and I’ll continue not to change it to uphold the integrity of the storyline.
Secondly, I have also recently come to learn that both of my parents seem to be Monarch Slaves themselves - and I don’t just say that casually. There are clear indicators, though I can’t say with 100% certainty. Thinking back, more of my life had probably been manipulated and controlled than I’d assume, including large-scale measures already (the Anime adaptation of “From the New World” comes to mind… I really loved that Anime. Even “Devilman Crybaby” doesn’t seem improbable, and apparently even the emo movement in Germany is a possibility). By everything I’ve come to learn, I now assume that if you’re at the top in any given field (especially or at least in entertainment / media, politics and finance), then only if you’re compromised by the Luciferians – if you’re either a pedophile or a Monarch Slave (or in my case, disabled).
Be aware that my public image is not the same as I am in private. I am dopey as fuck, I suffer from several mental illnesses, I am disabled, I’m not very good as maths, geography and history, I’m volatile and have troubles controlling my anger, I could be more educated, my hairs falling out and I have a small dick (at least in its flaccid state, erect it’s close to average). The real superpower lies in the pursuit of truth as elaborated on, here. If I am truly advanced in anything, it’s in that - though I don’t mean that in a greedy power-seeking sort of way: “The strength of a person's spirit [can] be measured by how much truth he could tolerate” – Nietzsche.
Every individual is unique – my strengths lie in psychology, philosophy and art. But you might be good at maths, physics, service, finance or sales, a craftsman, athletic or disciplined. Try to bring your unique strengths to the table and don’t get discouraged if you’re not as good at something as someone else.
This isn’t a game (although you can conceptualize life, while best conceived as a story, as a set of games). The goal is to achieve freedom of speech - best would be peacefully. Anyone of you can be easily kidnapped or killed by people who you’ll never surpass in their physical training, so try your best in telling the truth, not lying, aiming for minimum necessary force and resisting everything they throw at you.
Personally, I don’t want to end up in a reality which consists of an illusionary game once again where a minority of people will be turned into heroes trained with a never-ending carrot on a stick “to advance humanity”, while the majority of people will be turned into expediency-seeking brainwashed zombies as their adversaries. The idea is that this mode of being is right – and that people can be forgiven if they become honest, transparent and owe up to their mistakes. I genuinely believe that my being isn’t as coupled with heroism as one might perceive, but that there are fundamentally two modes: You resist threats – which frees you up to do what you think is right, or you don’t and you’ll be turned into a henchman to one degree or another. So, either there’ll be an actual revolution (Civil disobedience) or humanity will actually succumb to perpetual darkness – only that the real perpetrator isn’t God - it’s Luciferianism.
Generally speaking, I resist everything – and I absolutely mean it. Exceptions are with signs of love or similar social interactions – it’s just too twisted to tell someone you love them if you get threatened with them getting tortured for it. If there was a cultural consensus, meta or consent in this regard, it’d be easier, but as it stands currently, people are facing the wrong way. Some similar actions are more about fulfilling myself, in which case I am less (if at all) compromising. There is no hard rule which I can sufficiently follow in this regard, so I always go by feeling.
Reality is not black-and-white, but shades of gray, as you must know. Trying to apprehend reality in all its facets is a strength. When it comes to rules, exceptions need to be made from time to time, but they mustn’t become the rule – so break them at your peril. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if you break a rule out of expediency, complacency, or necessity.
Understand that you can understand things at different levels of analysis and different resolutions. These can be shallow or deep, detailed or superficial, at the core, origin or root of something. Profound, fundamental or axiomatic, high or transcendent. These adjectives might be best conceptualized or visualized through nodes among other nodes where those nodes stand for elements, aspects or parts of reality. For example: At the base (e.g. “profound”) or at the middle (e.g. “core”) of something. This can also apply to a place in time (for example “origin”), or a spot in a value hierarchy (e.g. “high”) / inversed value hierarchy.
You who’s angry is a different you then you who’s in love, in other words: Your personality consists of sub-personalities. Becoming able to assess if part of you believes one thing and another part of you something else, parts of you want some things and other parts of you want other things, in other words: To assess yourself in all your complexity can be a vital necessity, so can be the ability to detect whether you’re overthinking something. Integrating those perspectives into one is then how you can reach the core of your beliefs. By paying attention to your body or emotions, you’ll be able to feel whether you believe something you say, to be true or not.
You need to familiarize yourself with Carl Jung’s concepts of the Shadow, Persona, Ego, Self, Anima and Animus – to integrate your shadow is important (for example, to be able to confront malevolence within and outside of yourself). It’s also important to understand that you have a relationship with yourself, as much as you have relationships with other people. As such, you are responsible for treating yourself with love – as well as in a disciplinary manner. When I assess myself from a more objective standpoint (i.e: outside perspective), I often talk to myself in second person (i.e: “you”) – when I think with my shadow more integrated, I often think in plural (“we”). It’d be very nice of you if you reward yourself sometimes with some positive words, if you’ve done something good, e.g. “Hey, you did a good thing.”
On the idea of God, I have elaborated here. How to integrate one’s narcissism in one’s actions, I have elaborated on, here. Strictly speaking, you don’t know anything. And the map is not the territory, meaning that what you perceive of yourself or reality is not actually that, but a representation of such. A personality test like the Big Five personality test can help you understand yourself and others ten to a hundred times better.
In its simplest, (deepest) binary form, reality can be conceptualized as chaos and order. Although I’ve been “boycotting” him since it’s become obvious that he’s been playing the Antichrist all along (though I’ll soon pick up on it in preparation for my next video), it’s best if you watch some Jordan Peterson videos on this matter. If you’re into deep learning, I highly recommend reading “Maps of Meaning”. Land of Meaning is a good map for some of these teachings. “12 rules for life” is a recommended read for basically everyone.
Familiarizing yourself with logical fallacies can help you in arguments or debates. This is something you’ll naturally come to if you dedicate yourself to the truth. You don’t need to familiarize yourself with the name of a particular fallacy, to detect it: If you can argue why an argument is fallacious, it’s fine.
My best friend is a to-do list. I do not otherwise adhere to a schedule, partially to be less predictable, partially because as someone who’s temperamentally low in conscientiousness, I am more efficient this way. I take breaks about two days a week, decided by an eight-sided transparent die. Every time after I roll it, I roll it a few more times to make sure it wasn’t loaded, and play around with it in my hands, in hopes of catching any optical glitches, in case I was manipulated visually.
I tend to “go with the flow” with regards to manipulations of my inner being – I take a nap when the system makes me tired during the day and wank off when it makes me sexually aroused. All that obviously lends it control, but there seems to be no point in fighting it and I basically act with the faith that so long as I adhere to actions which I consider ethical, the truth will win.
I write down a lot of notes and I often talk out loud in my apartment. I don’t compromise on my thoughts when “talking to them” in my apartment (in quotation marks, because while I am obviously being listened to by some intelligence agencies and probably at least the highest within the Illuminati, conceptually I am usually acting out a fantasy because naturally I sort-of create avatars of them in my mind, and the purpose of such is not so much to speak to them but for me to articulate my thoughts or to vent my anger). Only when making these thoughts public, I take care not to be unnecessarily rude or brazen.
That being said, I basically never compromise on the truth. If I think that something needs to be said, I say it - even then, I try not to be unnecessarily or excessively hurtful towards anyone who needs help. This is part of the concept that telling the truth means more than just writing words on a paper or creating vibrations in the air, but an enacted reflection of reality including ethical actions. This also means that you don’t necessarily or simply say everything which comes to your mind, but put some choice into your words to, for example, be more precise, concise, or for any other stylistic, rhetoric or artistic device – to choose what you say or disclose, is your right.
It’s difficult to conceive (and I don’t like to over-concretize all this, if at all), but I tend to enter different emotional stances in response to different interpretations. I most often seem to come back to a “neutral” emotional state after neutralizing a manipulation, heightened awareness out of anxiety otherwise, (deep) vigilance with which I often counteract any conceptualization which seems too mundane to me and piercing eyes / aggression when thinking about how I want to go against them. These are though, my own ways which I developed naturally in dealing with the situation, and I encourage you to explore.
The system will constantly put you under time pressure to induce stress and anxiety, which can on one hand enhance your performance in some areas, but also makes you more impulsive, suggestible and easy to control, so it’s best not adhered to. It’s important to keep your cool in tense situations, to take a step back and assess the big picture. You can view an overview of some of my values, methods and tactics in dealing with the situation, here.
Generally speaking, I treat everything which is communicated to me by the system, as a manipulation. As I mentioned here, I generally reflect upon an influence to neutralize it. Even then, it is often able to nudge me into reconsidering a specific choice of words for example. Such influences are an inevitable result of considering something it communicates as a possibility (out of many), instead of being strictly true or false (which doesn’t work). The observation has been that in freemasonry, one sells their soul to the devil for knowledge - so I don’t wanna go there. I can always educate myself through books (regarding which these are apparently good recommendations) and videos (of which these two are good channels: Academy Of Ideas, Eternalised). I don’t want to enter any rabbit hole through coded speech, as I consider those inherently manipulative. The hypothesis is that by evading or neutralizing most manipulations, the system has to work harder / is incentivized to make them clearer and thus, I can devote more of my mind to things which actually matter, instead of entering an illusionary reality woven through manipulative means of communication. Relatively impactful ideas which are communicated thus become comparatively rare, with a few notable ones recently having been for instance the owner’s suite / lounge on this Yacht which seems to be modeled after the colors / theme of my apartment and appears to be made deliberately in a silly or distasteful manner (the colors in my apartment also came about primarily due to the desire to appeal). This I found very interesting and frankly, I wouldn’t have expected any less. This apartment which I perceived as conveying a particular idea (hypothetical or real), which has made me feel very strongly about all this, and this picture of Prince Charles, the reality behind which I perceived as very real (though possibly, in the shadow of a person).
However, if something grabs your interest, it’s usually best to follow it… the problem is that the system can manipulate you in that, too. Everything surrounding conscious phenomena in fact, and a whole bunch of things surrounding your body, too. My experience has been that if a phenomenon is ego-syntonic, it’s better to accept it. I elaborated more on authenticity here and in truth I’d rather get tortured for who I am than survive as someone who I’m not… I think.
What’s probably most advanced (and difficult) to deal with is what I call “triple-binds”. The system might act genuinely good towards you sometimes, but one must not forget that what Satan would do precisely is to pretend to be good. Simultaneously, one must also not dismiss the benevolent aspect of their heart. The result is that I can’t trust them, but I can have some faith in them. One must take care not to overvalue that aspect of reality while still considering it at least a possibility, yet still neutralizing manipulations in this sphere and adhere to one’s sense of ethics, truth and minimum necessary force and it might work out. It is a brainfuck, but combining several techniques such as the ones mentioned above (including emotionally or conceptually shutting off perspectives to the extent that they’re too abusive), it can work out. The system might not overexert you in this regard.
While being godlike, trusting this system is a bad idea, since as I elaborated here, you only incentivize it to walk the path of least resistance… and that is to use you (or betray you). It’s the quintessential problem with Luciferian being, though you can still do it if you’d rather be a slave, or a villain and a slave. Personally, I conceptualize it similar to a scorpion… it’s in its nature to sting. You could also conceptualize it a femme fatale or a sexual predator if you want - it’s certainly parasitic.
If you walk this path, you must know that it’s generally always feinting weakness, focuses on keeping you in chaos and laying traps. However, it’s best not to avoid them if it means to be silent (the way I treat them, is to try not to write anything impulsively, and uncover the unfair, deceitful or manipulative tricks which I can see being inherent to them). In a No-Win situation, it’s best to think creatively.
Best of luck.

I’ve been learning German with Duolingo, Pimsleur, and by watching German media. Pimsleur tought me that when you decline an adjective before a neuter noun you add an “s” at the end, for example:
“Ich habe ein kleines Auto”,
but the duolingo lessons I've been doing seem to use "kleine" in the same situations, for example:
“Das kleine Puzzle ist langweilig”
Can anyone explain when to use kleines vs. kleine before neuter nouns? Thank you!

Just an interesting find from this week on the word “Epiousion” used in “give us this day or daily bread”. It’s a good reminder that translations from ancient texts require a great deal of scholarly research and judgment call. It can be a very worthwhile activity to understand more about the translation process.
Pulled from Wikipedia because it had a good summary:
Epiousion (ἐπιούσιον) is a Koine Greek adjective used in the Lord's Prayer verse "Τὸν ἄρτον ἡμῶν τὸν ἐπιούσιον δὸς ἡμῖν σήμερον"[a] ('Give us today our epiousion bread'). Because the word is used nowhere else, its meaning is unclear. It is traditionally translated as "daily", but most modern scholars reject that interpretation. The word is also referred to by epiousios, its presumed lemma form.
Daily has long been the most common English translation of epiousion. It is the term used in the Tyndale Bible, the King James Version, and in the most popular modern English versions.[16] This rests on the analysis of epi as for and ousia as being; the word would mean "for the [day] being" with day being implicit.[4]
According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, there are several meanings to epiousios, and that epi-ousios is most literally translated as super-essential.
In the Eastern Orthodox Church, "supersubstantial" is thought to be a more accurate translation
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epiousion

Scott Johnsson What the Dems/Biden admin are STILL doing:

• OCC refuses to enact Brian Brooks' "fair access" banking rule to prohibit federally chartered banks from denying financial services such as lending to would-be clients on political or ideological grounds.
• Enforcement actions against Coinbase, Binance and Kraken based on an unimaginably expansive definition of security and without clear guidance
• SEC refuses Coinbase petition for rulemaking
• SEC Wells Notice to Consensys
• SEC Wells Notice to Uniswap Labs
• SEC Wells Notice to Paxos for issuing the BUSD stablecoin; forcing wind down.
• SEC incorporates DeFi into expansive "dealer rule" w/o faithfully applying the requirements of the administrative procedures act (APA)
• SEC incorporates crypto trading systems, including DeFi, into exchange amendment, requiring registration as exchanges / compliance with Reg ATS -- and explicitly doubts the ability for a system to be decentralized
• Treasury inserts "broker" language in the dead of night into "must-pass" legislation w/o debate. Assures Congress it only intends to apply the rule to traditional brokers. IRS then promulgates rule that contemplates expansive requirements violating 1st and 4th amendments, and risks de facto banning DeFi in the US -- ie, not traditional brokers;
• FBI issues a warning to crypto wallet users suggesting that they may lose their funds due to criminal seizures and investigations if they don’t move them to a regulated entity;
• DOJ violates 5 years of FinCen guidance to shut down Tornado Cash/Samurai Wallet and allege its founders engaged in money transmission, subjecting to the threat of an extensive prison sentence;
• Biden maintains veto threat on SAB 121, a guidance that GAO has said was improperly promulgated and should have been subject to notice and comment rulemaking;
• Biden admin proposes a bill that singles out crypto miners for onerous tax treatment;
• OCC let crypto bank Protego’s application for a national trust charter expire without approval;
• FHLB refuses to come clean as to whether they had refused to roll Silvergate’s loan facility (the loans were month to month), causing their collapse;
• FDIC verbally messages 15 percent thresholds for crypto deposits;
• FDIC requires banks to individually run all new crypto business by them before they do any onboardings;
• Federal Reserve continues to deny crypto bank Custodia’s application to become a member of the Federal Reserve system, citing “safety and soundness” risks;
• Kansas City Fed branch denies Custodia’s application for a master account;
• Federal Reserve promulgates policy statement discouraging banks from holding cryptoassets or issuing stablecoins, and broadens authority to cover non-FDIC insured state-chartered banks (a reaction to Wyoming Special Purpose Depository Institutions (SPDIs) like Custodia, which can hold crypto alongside fiat for its banking customers);
• Federal Reserve, FDIC, and the OCC release a joint statement on the risks to banks engaging with crypto;
• National Economic Council releases a policy statement not explicitly banning banks from serving crypto clients, but strongly discouraging banks from transacting with cryptoassets directly or maintaining exposure to crypto depositors;
• 103 Dems + 2 Reps sign Warren letter falsely exaggerating terrorist financing crypto sources, no retraction;
• Warren still pushing DAAMLA, effectively a complete crypto ban;
• Blocking stablecoin legislation;
• Blocking CBDC ban; and
• Maintaining ALL of the personnel that allowed the above to occur (save maybe 2 junior SEC attorneys that became falls guys in the Debt Box fiasco; and Marty ain't out yet)

This is not an exhaustive list, nor inclusive of "water under the bridge" acts that clearly cant be rectified (eg, killing Signature/Signet). But walking back on nearly all of these issues/items would JUST get us back to neutral and close to where the Trump admin left us. At that point, the apologists can go off about how Trump/Biden admins are both 'pro-crypto' or whatever adjective they're using to equivocate. Biden is still threatening devs with prison sentences and still willing to destroy any bank or business that gets in the way.
What they've done so far:

• SAB 121 - Just ~10% of House Dem caucus votes to overturn a clearly improper SEC staff accounting bulletin; little more than 20% of Senate Dem caucus. (vs 95% of Reps). Biden still maintaining veto threat. House minority leader votes against. Senate majority leader votes for.
• FIT21 - ~1/3 of House Dem caucus votes for (flawed but symbolic) market structure bill (vs 95% of Reps); House minority leader votes against.
• ETH spot ETF - approval (good, but this shouldn't have even been close -- and by all accounts, Gensler was about ready to bring ETH behind the shed and he's still running the show)
• "Reaching out" (lol, ignore our current positions... we can be the good guys)

There's a LOONG way left to go before anyone in this space trusts that Dems are actually turning the corner, at least to a meaningful degree...

Glidis flens obik! I've been learning Volapük for some weeks now and yesterday I was learning about the genitive case and the possesive pronouns and a question came up and I hope you can answer it:
In the sentence "I read his book", how would it be translated using both "oma" and "omik"? Does the word "buk" have to have the accusative mark? Because it fits the question of the accusative "What am I reading?" - "his book". So, how it would be? "Reidob buk oba/obik" or "Reidob buki oba/obik".
Another issue I have related with the previous question is whether a word with -a must follow the same rules of the adjective -ik. For example: "Logob omikis cilis" could it be "Logob oba(i)s cilis". Can it be like that?
Thanks for your help in advance!

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou

There is a very good chance that Trump will win the 2024 election, and all available information suggests his second term will be radically different from his first. This has honestly been discussed so extensively that I don't think it really needs to be proven at this point. Anyone here that isn't deliberately turning a blind eye probably gets the skeleton of Trump's plan-- win the 2024 election, purge the massive federal bureaucracy, and then use that apparatus to smash his enemies.
It's looking like Senator J. D. Vance, the MAGA rock star of our hour, will have a pretty big say in the next Trump Administration. Vance is a lot of things. A self-described right-wing populist, he is something of a champion for a new nucleus of the far right in Congress, one that rejects the outdated, Reaganite principles of market individualism in favor of something stronger and harder.
It's been awhile since we could genuinely say conservatism was about preserving institutions, but post-2021 there's been another, even deeper and more fundamental shift. Vance and the people that tend to ally with him are a transition from a conservatism aimed around passing conservative laws to advance the conservative agenda to conservatism that wants a regime change of some kind.
Let's call these two factions "establishment conservatives" and "revolutionary conservatives". Establishment conservatives are cowards like Marco Rubio and Lindsey Graham. Aside from their naked self-interest, they are chomping at the bit to pass laws that would restrict abortion rights and slash welfare programs. Revolutionary conservatives like Vance may be and often are nakedly self-interested cowards, but they see the normal processes and institutions as too corrupt for easy reform. Building off of this, they look to Trump to shatter the old system so they can build something new on top of it.
The other day, Vance gave us a remarkably revealing look into what this new world is going to look like. But first, we need to talk about a guy who died over a hundred years ago.
The Liberal Dream
That man is President Thomas Woodrow Wilson. Wilson was the first liberal Democrat in the way we might understand the label to become President. He won the 1912 election in a landslide. With liberal Democrat majorities in both chambers of Congress, Wilson changed everything about America.
He passed labor regulations that rewrote the way we think about employment today. Ever made some fast cash on overtime? Thank Wilson and the liberal Democrats. Wilson and the Democrats slashed tariffs and passed income taxes, which moved the burden of funding the government from regressive (under protective tariffs, all consumers foot the bill equally) to progressive (under the income tax, the wealthy pay more) means.
The liberal Democrats created the Federal Trade Commission, which exists to this day and plays an indispensable role in enforcing consumer protections everywhere in America. The liberal Democrats also created the Federal Reserve, America's central banking system, which is also so important to how we live our daily lives it's hard for me to wrap my head around it.
All of this stuff made America a better, freer place. But the adjective "Wilsonian" isn't attached to central banking, income taxes, or consumer protections. It's attached to the 29th President's idealism in foreign affairs. In 1917, the U.S. entered World War one against the German Empire and its allies. The war ended in the next year. Wilson promoted something revolutionary, something downright utopian:

[We demand] that the world be made fit and safe to live in; and particularly that it be made safe for every peace-loving nation which, like our own, wishes to live its own life, determine its own institutions, be assured of justice and fair dealing by the other peoples of the world as against force and selfish aggression. All the peoples of the world are in effect partners in this interest, and for our own part we see very clearly that unless justice be done to others it will not be done to us.

This is the guiding principle behind so-called Wilsonian idealism-- every nation deserves, basically, the right to elect its own government and freedom from belligerence by outside powers. Free nations have an obligation to make that justice a reality. As such, Wilson rejected colonialism and called for a new international body that could make the world safe for democracy. His League of Nations, built off of these principles, failed, but the idea lived on.
This, basically, is the world we've lived in since the defeat of Nazi Germany. America foreign policy is broadly structured around warding off aggressive empires like Soviet Russia and its successor state, the Russian Federation. American domestic policy, too, has not strayed far from the idea that government's goal is to promote freedom and equality. Keep all this in mind for the next part.
The Trumpian Nightmare
Vance, with the Quincy Institute for Responsible Statecraft, outlined what might very charitably be described as reconstructionist realism. Reconstructionist, because Vance embraces his interpretation of the Bible as how America should find its place in the world, and realist, because he throws to the dogs all the protecting human rights nonsense.
That's the main reason why Vance has made such a show of opposing the Biden Administration's support for Ukraine in its fight against the Russian invasion. In his own words, it's in America's best interest to "accept Ukraine is going to have to cede some territory to the Russians." Vance has also labeled himself America First, which basically implies that he rejects the old Wilsonian idea of making the world safe for democracy.
Vance and that nucleus of "revolutionary conservatives" have long resented the way that previous Republican party leaders-- Bush, Reagan, and Nixon, for instance-- tacitly adopted liberal internationalism by affirming the U.S.'s role as the leader of the free world. That nucleus wants to return to a different time, where the U.S.'s conception of itself was based more around straightforward self-advancement than idealism. Theodore Roosevelt had harshly criticized Wilson during his tenure for promoting that idealism over empire-building. As Senator Josh Hawley, a vastly inferior man to Roosevelt, said:

I think what you saw is after the Cold War, you had a whole generation of American policy makers who said the Wilsonian moment has now arrived. Borders don’t matter. American uniqueness doesn’t matter.

Hawley and Vance are Trump's favorite Senators. They seem to think they have a good shot at being the power behind the next Administration's throne, and by all accounts they do. When Trump purges the federal bureaucracy, he will need an army of loyal minions ready to carry out illegal orders. He will need fanatics and grifters, men like Hawley and Vance that are ready to put their hatred for the liberal world order above the Constitution.
Trump typically turns on people, so they're stupid for getting in bed with him, but nobody has told them this yet.
Conclusion
Trump's victory would take us back over a century. It would be a devastating blow to liberalism as we understand it. If Trump wins, you can expect the U.S. to turn away from protecting democracy and openly embrace the kind of stuff Vance wants-- we will be a sheltered, regional colonial kingdom, ruled by a brutal police apparatus at the command of one very small man's whims. When we go abroad, it won't be to keep aggressive empires like Russia and China from overrunning their neighbors, it will be to advance the Christian Jihad that the religious right has been salivating over for decades now.
When Vance and Hawley talk about the "multilateral" new world order, believe them, and understand its repercussions. It is a voluntary and suicidal return to the Hobbesian state of nature, where might makes right.
We haven't had a candidate like Trump in the modern era because he is a fundamentally un-modern one. He is a radical, and if he wins he's going to bring radical change.

is it basically saying that “talking with such poeticism really is strange”
Because I know usually 是 is not used with an adjective unless it’s 是…的 and 真 is already modifying the adjective right?
And Pleco is telling me that 真是 is smth else. TIA

It truly is just so chilly lately and I love it. I enjoy summery days too, I just prefer them few and far between and I like feeling cosy and rugged up as opposed to wanting to shed my skin for some relief.
It’s my honeys birthday :) I’m going to make a concerted effort to not be too much. I can’t be too much anyway from here but still. I wanted to send him an ubereats voucher for his dinner tonight but it turns out I can’t send it internationally :( It has to be the same currency. I also don’t have his bank account so I can’t just chuck some money in there either. I just want to make him feel special and loved and I thought that was a tiny yet cute gesture. Oh well. It’s his birthdaaaaay! I’m so happy he was born and became who he is and the fact he’s all mine
I’m struggling with my mood a bit recently. Or depression. Whatever you want to call it. I don’t like either word. But flat or empty doesn’t always cover it, just because I feel depressed doesn’t automatically equate to flat/grey/empty/numb/etc. They’re a specific feeling, I can be and feel depressed and not feel any of them - I can just feel detached from life, I guess. Idk. It’s hard to put into words, I’m sure I could find some writer who articulates it perfectly but even then, that’s their feeling, not mine. But I really like reading and hearing relatable feelings, I can feel alone a lot and hearing others feeling the same as me makes me feel less so. Truly Captain Obvious over here. But anyway. I’m struggling more again lately. The last few days. It’s not PMS related, it’s deeper than that. There’s a difference.
Truly anyone can have a podcast, can’t they? I’m listening to one now about book theories and they’re just talking over one another and being quite rude and dismissive and then I realise this is just content I disagree with but their theories have so many holes in them. SO MANY. It’s basically one hole with a flimsy fabric of theory around the outside. So now I’m hate listening because it’s making me grind my teeth and my eye twitch, but no one else has any podcasts about this and I wanna listen to some. It just sounds like they don’t even like each other? I felt so awkward for a lot of it. Also they’re so unprepared, like if you’re going to spout theories then a) know what you’re talking about b) back it up c) look for holes in it and point them out because that’s half the fun and d) you can’t base a theory off of something you don’t even know. Eg. One of them was talking about how X was Y’s dad but neither knew if X was even alive. Like… ? Also none of them are original theories which tbh I don’t care about, it’s just nice to have them condensed into an episode to listen to, but they were so rude and dismissive of the original poster or whatever several times, it made me feel quite uncomfy? So bizarre. I want to not like these books anymore. It’s not fun anymore, everyone’s so hateful and I was reading how people are literally sending death threats to one another because they disagree with their ship or whatever it’s called. Like here’s a thought, THEYRE FICTIONAL AND WHO CARES, GET OFF THE INTERNET AND CALM DOWN. Says me, all in caps, on the internet. I love irony. But so it’s just not an enjoyable fandom anymore which is a shame because I think it’s my first ever I’ve been a part of? And now it’s just… ruined. I also don’t like how divisive it all is, like if you love one character then you hate the other and things. Like here’s a thought everyone, each character is nuanced and is not perfect - stop expecting them to be. And stop bitching and moaning like jfc. So anyway it’s not very enjoyable anymore which is a shame but I’ll just enjoy the books themselves in private and wait til the next is released in presumably the next 8-10 business years. I also don’t have high expectations after the last book in her other series, it was terrible. So rushed and so… it was terrible. Enjoyable enough but I will never reread it, I’ll never reread that series full stop. We’ll never say never but I would be incredibly surprised if I did considering I didn’t like it at all and just read it because I’m a sucker fan girl and they all eventually link together so I kind of have to.
I hate computers and technology and all of it. And by that I mean it’s all excellent and amazing but I am cursed with it. I tried to switch my monitors and things around this morning to be better but now everything is just… wrong. Laggy.
Am I a bad person for considering applying for other roles purely for leverage with my own? Yes. I already know the answer to that. I’m open to working elsewhere, but I’m also not. I’m frustrated right now with what I get lumped with workwise but ultimately we have excellent benefits, I can wfh x3 days a week and my manager is super understanding of my… issues. I kind of want a new job elsewhere because I think it would force me out of my comfort zone, but also… Is that the best thing? I would normally say yes but some days I find everything so so difficult and taking on new processes, a new team, a new environment… it’s a lot. And I know I get very easily overwhelmed. And the fact I have more or less unlimited paid sick leave which tbh I don’t really utilise at all and easily use less than what I’m legislatively entitled to but it’s there. So I feel kind of stuck. And I also feel unsure. One part of me wants to be leading large nationwide change processes or being entirely responsible for project work, but the other part of me knows I’m probably not currently best equipped for that… issues wise. I’m sure I could, but I just struggle so much some days and what if that day I had 5+ redundancy meetings? Having a god awful day and then telling multiple people their role has been disestablished…? Being a part of that process is one thing and I’ve done that and it’s fine, it’s tough at times but fine, but to be actively responsible for the whole process? I just don’t really think I can handle that. Which holds me back. And also the delegation of work SUCKS. And I get stuck training and basically managing the junior team members because my manager can’t seem to do it. Which tbh is fair as she has a tonne on her plate but still, she had that all on her plate before becoming all of our manager so I mean… yknow. Sometimes I wonder if I could go people leadership route, a small part of me thinks I would be good at it, I can definitely listen and I definitely show compassion and patience with our junior members and I can delegate work out easily enough buuuut do I have the confidence to advocate for them? When it comes to pay/promotions? I’m not sure. I’d have every confidence in them but not in myself and if I have no confidence in myself it makes brig bold and pushing for something impossible, like impossible. So. I wouldn’t want to risk someone else’s progression because I’m a damn baby. So idk. So what doI do? I mean I don’t even want to specialise in ER, it’s too much. I want to get involved and build my experience and knowledge more and more, but it can be really tough. Even the other day I was talking to a young woman, younger than me, with cancer. Or rather she was telling me she’s now in remission and pregnant and I honestly couldn’t stop smiling it was such lovely news, but things like that, or an employee displaying shifts in behaviour and it being a result of domestic violence and then having to handle that or just the process of disestablishing roles aka making someone redundant, I guess there’s redeployment which would feel good but still. It’s an emotionally taxing side of HR that I’m unsure I could handle long term. I’m only thinking about this again this morning because I saw a job which does less than I do now getting around $10k more than I earn. Anyway I’ll just keep at it where I am a while longer. It’s probably better for me, right now anyway.
He showed me his recent favourite music last night, it’s one of my favourite favourite things. I tend to like/love majority of it, some I don’t but that’s fine like everyone has different tastes - I think it would be weird to like all of it. It baffles me how controlled his Spotify is, it makes mine look utterly manic… which tbh it is. I just get so.. something, and start making new playlists or adding new things or whatever it might be. Anyway I’m listening to some of the ones he sent me last night today.
He took basically half an hour to call me last night and I know he said he had been talking to his mum but it just felt… weird. And then he didn’t pick up his phone at midnight when I called to say happy birthday, he admittedly called back really quickly but idk. It made me feel uneasy. Like what’s he doing at midnight that he can’t pick up his phone? When I know he’s awake. I know I’m feeling weird about nothing, so it’s fine. It just felt… I don’t know. His sleeping patterns are slipping so quickly lately, it feels like it’s every two weeks not every month like it used to be, and it makes me wonder why. It makes me think things like he doesn’t have a weird sleeping pattern ever and he just uses it as a reason to avoid me because he’s with someone else and how would I know. I don’t think these thoughts are true, I don’t think he’s lying about it all, but it’s just a recurring thought lately. Ever since it became more frequent with less time in between. It’s fine. I know it’s fine. I know there’s nothing wrong, it’s just sometimes idk. I think it’s more fear and worry than anything relating to genuine belief and mistrust.
I love him a lot. A whole lot. The entire lot. I hope he’s having the best sleep with the sweetest dreams. Baby.
I really don’t feel well this afternoon. I feel vaguely crampy and tired but my mood has dropped significantly. I’m trying to perk back up so I don’t wreck his birthday though. It’s not just general it’s entirely work related. I feel like I need to cry and punch a wall and just throw my computer at the window but in a sad not angry way. I am fed up. And so many stupid questions. Like twice today I’ve had PEOPLE IN MY TEAM be like “what’s the link for this” like here’s an idea why don’t you go find it and use some fucking initiative. It’s just pure laziness. So I said you can find it on X and then didn’t help further because what the actual fuck. And it’s literally a link to the system login - how the fuck do they not know this. Which leads me to believe it’s pure laziness. Because they have f all cases either. Anyway I’m just lashing out because I’m frustrated and in a sad mood. Everything’s fine.
I love Jeff Buckley so much. Not all of his stuff, I could take or leave much of it tbh but some of his music… all time favourites. I wonder what my top five would be? I think: - lover you should’ve come over - Last goodbye - Forget her - Lilac wine - Nightmares by the sea I didn’t include hallelujah because that goes without saying, I much prefer it to Leonard Cohen’s one however I would really like to try give Leonard more of a go because mum loves him, I think she saw him live last time he was here, I was going to buy her tickets as a random present before she beat me to it - unless I’m confusing it with someone else? I don’t think so. Maybe. Or was it Nick Cave? Idk. I already like Nick Cave a whole lot, I had a big massive A2 poster of him on my wall as a teenager. Anyway. I also left out so real and grace and I know it’s over and mojo pin to some extent. And dream brother. Okay so the entire grace album + some extras. His only proper album :( anyway I love him and he soothes melancholic little heart and has for a long time. Since I was… 17. 16? Something.
I don’t click easily with people. I was thinking about that today because I felt more lonely than normal. I find it easy to be personable and friendly and all of that, but it’s rare that I feel at ease with someone and like I can somewhat be myself/not overthink into oblivion. And I don’t know why some people are different? It’s not a time thing either, because the people I find myself more at ease with I felt it more or less instantly, whereas I’ve been around the same people for YEARS and… nothing. Like M, I felt at ease with her from day one. K too a bit. Andy definitely. But other women at work? I’ve known them for years, spoken to them daily, I still feel uncomfortable and anxious and paralysed with them. Paralysed in the sense I can’t think of things to say, I can and do but it can be such stilted conversation. Even my own family members, my brother and his wife? Just like that. I don’t feel at all comfortable or anything. I know I naturally find it easier with talkative people, M and Andy for example - both could talk to a brick wall and either not notice or get it to talk back. I don’t mean the not notice in a negative way, I just mean… idk what I mean. It’s a good thing though. I just don’t find it easy. I know a lot of it is due to my social anxiety and the worry and all of that. I think it’s also that I don’t like surface level relationships, but I don’t tend to allow people in enough to get anything further than surface level. I can easily have those conversations, I just don’t really enjoy them. But it can be impossible to go further because I’m so closed off and I’m so riddled with anxiety over saying the wrong thing, unintentionally offending someone or showing how stupid I am that nothing happens. I also don’t like to talk that much, I do but in bursts, and I think that doesn’t help me either. I know I’m the problem. Another thing to add to my list of difficulties.
I wish I could just escape myself sometimes.
I’m due to start reading HP3 now, why don’t I feel psyched about it? I want to. Maybe when I get fully into it I will? I’ve been apprehensive about books in the past and went on to become obsessed and it become a part of my identity, if even for a short while. And if I know anything in life, it’s that HP fans tend to turn it into a personality trait. Maybe that’ll be me.
I don’t really want to journal anymore. I feel sad and it doesn’t tend to help me perk up and I need to force myself into being chirpy and perky and all those sorts of adjectives so I don’t ruin his day. My baby.
I ordered dinner - tofu stirfry with roti yummm - so I’ll have that, maybe start HP3 and then have a shower and then spend time with my honeybunny. Night night

When I see a word ending in ый, ой or ий, can I assume that it’s an adjective in masculine, singular form? Are there words having any of these endings while not being adjectives? What I’m trying to achieve is to be able to recognize the role of each word in a sentence just from an eye scan, like I do with the other languages I know. I haven’t studied Russian cases yet and I know they make things even more complicated.

The Canadian Armed Forces do not have a monopoly on foolish leaders, sociopaths, tyrants, or people lacking emotional intelligence. They can be found leading large companies, directing schools, heading major hospitals, and even within the church, basically wherever they can climb the ranks. The Canadian Armed Forces are not exempt from this problem of toxic leadership. I would even argue that the Canadian Armed Forces, due to their strict and highly regimented nature, provide an environment conducive to toxic leadership.
For the first time on this blog, I took the time to interview several people in order to write this article. The process was easy: everyone wants to talk about their experience under a toxic leader. Through these testimonials, I tried to better define what is meant by toxic leadership. I also wondered what causes a leader to become toxic. Finally, I attempt to provide some solutions to eliminate this scourge.
Defining Toxic Leadership
Leadership can be defined as the art of influencing human behavior. There are formal leaders (those who have received « authority ») and informal leaders (those who have charisma or a natural gift for influencing others). There are positive leaders and negative leaders.
« A positive leadership attempts to maintain a friendly and warm working climate within the team in order to bring out the best in each of its members. Negative leadership, on the other hand, influences the members of his team through judgment, negativity, opposition, or disinterest in the project. » (source: HEC).
At one end of the positive-negative leadership spectrum is the toxic leader. What distinguishes them from negative leaders? In my interpretation, a leader becomes toxic when the unhealthy influence they have on their personnel has severe impacts outside the workplace.
The Dark Triad
Psychologists have identified three traits that make up the sinister « dark triad of toxicity »: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.
The Narcissist
Narcissists need to see themselves as the best in everything. They don’t seek to elevate the people around them; they only seek to elevate themselves by belittling others. Despite this, they are convinced that they are good leaders, that they are humane. To convince themselves of their benevolence, they sometimes say good words to their staff. They do it because they keep what I call « the book of the perfect platoon commander » closely guarded. They have learned what they should say – « take care of yourself, seek a good work-life balance, it’s not a sprint but a marathon, you need to think about yourself too, etc. » – but they are fundamentally incapable of applying these fine principles. They are tyrants, their true nature remains. Narcissists don’t end up in therapy: they send others to therapy.
The intelligent toxic leader know that they need certain key people to achieve their goals: these are often their inner circle. To ensure their loyalty, they charm them, cajole them, they treat them like royalty. But these people can never leave the organization because they are responsible for the tyrant’s success. In the long run, they too must forget their dreams and ambitions. This is commonly called a « punishment for success ».
The Machiavellian
The Machiavellian leader – an adjective derived from Niccolò Machiavelli’s work « The Prince, » published in the 16th century – uses multiple stratagems to achieve their ends. For them, the end justifies the means entirely. They will not hesitate to regularly throw their colleagues or subordinates under the bus. Why do they target their peers and subordinates? Because they pose direct threats to their power; these are the men and women who could want to take their place or, worse, snatch away the position they covet at the higher level.
Machiavellian leaders tend to assess the people they work with very quickly. Like on the Tinder app, they quickly swipe left or right depending on whether they judge a person competent or incompetent, or rather, useful or detrimental to their goals. And they don’t spare those who swipe the wrong way. Some will even go to great lengths to ensure that those they consider weak or detrimental are not considered for promotion. They won’t hesitate to call their superiors about them to ensure they don’t have an equal chance compared to their peers. They engage in a real undermining, which is defined by actions carried out more or less secretly to destroy someone.
The Psychopath
« The personality traits associated with psychopathy include a lack of empathy or remorse, antisocial behavior, and being manipulative and unstable. It is important to note that there is a distinction between psychopathic traits and being a psychopath, commonly associated with criminal violence » (Source: MindTools). There are psychopaths in all armies, but generally, we do a pretty good job of identifying and eliminating them. Nevertheless, some leaders exhibit the personality traits mentioned above. When we think of a psychopathic leader in uniform, we generally think of a sergeant yelling in a soldier’s face, but it’s much more insidious.The toxic leader denigrates, belittles, plays on emotions, and erodes trust slowly. They don’t just shout once; they consistently rant. For those who constantly receive their insults, it’s death by a thousand cuts.
Beyond the character traits associated with the dark triad, there are other characteristics of toxic leaders. For example, some toxic leaders hide a significant lack of self-confidence under their tyrant facade. To mask their fear, they constantly yell, without realizing that yelling is losing one’s composure, a sign of weakness. They believe they are protected by a shell, but in reality, they wear a tactical vest filled with mines and grenades that sow chaos in the ranks. It’s not an armor they wear; it’s an arsenal.
In light of what we’ve seen, it appears that toxic leaders need to feel better than others, they need attention, they need to belittle, or even crush. In short, they don’t just break careers; they go as far as breaking lives.
Impact on the Organization
A toxic leader gets results quickly, which reinforces their belief that they are using the right approach. In the short term, the technique works, that’s undeniable. However, in the long run, they cause immeasurable damage, leaving behind what I call a « trail of destruction »: shattered careers, personnel in therapy, individuals completely jaded and cynical, and sometimes shattered lives. To quote a friend who is an officer, a toxic leader:

Another friend wrote to me that, during his deployment in Afghanistan, his superior « tested and broke his resilience. » These are strong words, coming from a senior officer in combat arms. We are taught everywhere to create an environment where subordinates can develop. Nevertheless, there are still leaders who seek to demolish those they deem lacking the necessary skills to lead.
Toxic leaders eventually establish an unhealthy climate within their team, a climate of « every man for himself. » This leads subordinates to experience anxiety and, sometimes, depression. Peers no longer take the time to inquire about the mental health of their teammates because there is no team spirit. Sometimes, there isn’t even a team. Like the leader who is the chief intimidator, some subordinates become bullies themselves. You quickly choose your side: the strong weigh down on the weak. Everyone says to themselves, « I won’t let myself be trampled on anymore; now I’ll be the one trampling on others. »
Why Are Toxic Leaders Sometimes Rewarded?
Why, knowing all this, are toxic leaders rewarded? Firstly, part of the blame must be attributed to the regimental system (or its equivalent in other services/environments). Regiments quickly identify their favorites, the chosen ones, those who will rise to the rank of general. These individuals are identified very early, even during training phases. Too often, those selected are the ones who speak loudly, have attitude, a big ego, in short, those considered to have « the look for the job. » Then, the regiment pushes them forward and, if necessary, sweeps their small missteps under the rug. What happens if the regiment is wrong? It still pushes forward because admitting you’re wrong is worse than pulling a candidate out of the race.
Toxic leaders are also pushed upward because they are generally effective, very effective even. With a toxic leader, you walk on eggshells. You strive to give 100% of yourself, especially at the beginning, because you want to avoid the ground suddenly disappearing from beneath you. But these leaders are not just demanding; you can be demanding without being a jerk. No, they don’t just demand; they break their personnel to a point of no return. They squeeze the fruit until the seeds and core are crushed.
In the long run, the entire organization loses out. Firstly, the toxic leader exhausts their personnel. Secondly, without necessarily rebelling openly, subordinates increasingly keep their good ideas to themselves. A good leader fosters ideas, while a bad leader believes they have a monopoly on good ideas. Over time, their staff engage in what I call « passive resistance. » Some will even go as far as sabotaging a project if they believe they can do so with impunity. The toxic leader thinks they are getting the most juice possible when, in reality, they are shooting themselves in the foot. Instead of seeing effectiveness in toxic leadership, the chain of command should realize that tyrants don’t think about common success; they only envision their own success. The institutional problem with this approach is that another leader will succeed the toxic one and inherit a completely drained and demoralized unit.
I am aware that much more is demanded of military personnel than civilians; in fact, it’s one of the few areas of employment where the ultimate sacrifice can be asked. I am also aware that troops must be toughened to prepare them for the brutality of combat, a concept called toughening. I believe strongly in toughening. It’s an essential process for creating fighters. Troops are toughened through training and exercises; the leadership model exercised during these trainings and exercises is necessarily tough, severe, and intense. But it’s possible to be very demanding without falling into abuse, denigration, and harassment. The line between severe authority and abuse is thin, but it exists, and one must always be aware of it. You can be feared and respected as a leader without being hated (for those who appreciate the teachings of Machiavelli).
How to Prevent Toxic Leadership
How can toxic leadership be prevented? Here is a non-exhaustive list:
Initially, supervisors who become aware of a toxic leader under their command must show managerial courage and take the necessary steps to restore the climate.
Conduct more psychometric assessments and 360-degree evaluations where subordinates are asked to assess leadership.
Assign caring mentors to promising officers and non-commissioned officers to help them develop suitable leadership styles.
Conduct organizational climate surveys to obtain employees’ perceptions and perspectives. These surveys address attitudes and concerns that help the organization work with employees to bring about positive changes.
Invest in personal development (soft skills) and raise awareness among leaders about emotional intelligence.
Bring in leaders from outside at various ranks (for example, a business leader becomes a lieutenant colonel), an idea from retired American General Stanley McChrystal that remains quite controversial but is worth considering.
Integrate unions into the ranks, as done by the police and some foreign armies, to prevent abuses and avoid rash decisions. Another controversial but certainly effective proposal.
Conclusion
When I went through my infantry officer training, I was instilled with this simple phrase: Mission First, Men Second. Toxic leaders only apply the first half of this motto. Fortunately, mindsets have changed over time. We now say Mission First, People Always. One of the undisputed « truths » of special forces is that « humans are more important than equipment. » We realized that humans were central to the enterprise and that they could break like a piece of equipment.
Once, narcissism was sometimes confused with efficiency and arrogance with leadership. Fortunately, times are changing. Trainings on diversity, harassment, and concerns about integrating LGBTQ+ members, for example, are being provided. In recent years, people have also become more outspoken. There is less hesitation to escalate abuses of toxic leaders to higher levels of command.
The more these leaders are eliminated, at all levels, the fewer bad role models are offered to junior officers and non-commissioned officers. There is hope.

Seriously, what is the deal with people nowadays? In the last 10 years people seem to have started throwing around words like “nazi” and “fascist” in any political debate like 10 year-olds who just learned about the word “fuck”.
It’s sometimes like people have forgot how to have a civil discussion and mild political opinions and just turned to full-on extremism, I today saw a post claiming Libertarianism/Liberalism is the same thing as Fascism, like seriously? Out of every critique you could come up with THAT was the best?
It makes no sense to me how everyone has trivialized these vile adjectives just to try to prove they’re right