Borrowed.....
"Rules Of The Blues" by Memphis Earlene

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."
   
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
   
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."
   
4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out.
   
5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and company motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
   
6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
   
7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.
   
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chompin' on it is.
   
9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
   
10. Good places for the Blues: a. Highway b. Jailhouse c. An empty bed d. Bottom of a whiskey glass
    
11. Bad places for the Blues: a. Nordstrom's b. Gallery openings c. Ivy league institutions d. Golf courses
    
12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
    
13. You have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You older than dirt b. You blind c. You shot a man in Memphis d. You can't be satisfied
    
14. You don't have the right to sing the Blues if: a. You have all your teeth b. You were once blind but now can see c. The man in Memphis lived d. You have a pension fund
    
15. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.
    
16. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues
    
17. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: a. Cheap wine b. Whiskey or bourbon c. Muddy water d. Nasty black coffee
    
18. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a. Perrier b. Chardonnay c. Snapple d. Slim Fast
    
19. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broke-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
    
20. Some Blues names for women: a. Sadie b. Big Mama c. Bessie d. Fat River Dumpling
    
21. Some Blues names for men: a. Joe b. Willie c. Little Willie d. Big Willie
    
22. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
    
23. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit: a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.) b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Melon, Kiwi, etc.) c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")
    
24. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own even one computer, you cannot sing the blues.
    

We recently spoke with Anthony Barone, Co-Founder & Managing Director of StudioHawk UK, about the challenges of launching and running an SEO agency. Anthony shared his journey from being an SEO outsider to becoming the Head of the UK Headquarters for an Australian digital SEO agency. Throughout our conversation, we explored the challenges, opportunities, and strategies of starting and running an SEO agency in a competitive market.
In this article, we will draw from Anthony’s direct personal experience to provide key tips for starting an SEO agency. We’ll also cover some major pitfalls to watch out for.
Key tips for starting an SEO business:

• Define your niche: Offering basic SEO services is no longer enough to stand out. Identify a niche to specialize in and target.
• Get out and network: Build your network by attending events and meetups, and engaging with communities. Exchange experiences and generate leads.
• Form strategic partnerships: Look for and collaborate with companies offering complementary services for mutually beneficial relationships.
• Deliver high-quality work: Set the bar high and raise it often to build your reputation.
• Keep learning: Continually expand your SEO expertise, learn from experts, and outpace changes and trends.

The first steps to starting an SEO company
Starting an SEO agency goes beyond understanding SEO. It’s also about understanding the market, identifying competitors (and how you differ), and building partnerships. Anthony took these exact steps when launching his SEO agency in the UK. He believes everyone should apply them when setting up an SEO business.
Network to build a client base and partnerships
Start your SEO agency with networking. Become more active in the community and build relationships to find your first few clients. Join networking groups, attend business meetups and events, and start booking introductory calls with potential prospects.
Define your competitors
Research major players in your market, including competing agencies and potential partners.
Since the SEO field’s barrier to entry is pretty low, your chances of finding a mix of large agencies and smaller firms are high. Identify the ones you can emulate. Note their operations, capabilities, client portfolios, and how they position themselves.
You should also closely analyze the market you’re entering. When Anthony expanded his agency to the UK, he discovered one of the most competitive and knowledgeable markets, and the competition there wasn’t just limited to other agencies. The UK is home to many reputable brands and adept in-house teams. This means you need to know your stuff and prove your expertise. Anything less and you won’t have the opportunity to speak with or win the business of bigger companies.
Excelling in competitive landscapes like SEO necessitates brushing up on your field, your goal, and the value you bring, and devising a standout SEO strategy that resonates with your client’s business goals.
Differentiate your agency
StudioHawk initially set itself apart by skipping the traditional account manager middleman. The company instructed its SEO specialists to work directly with clients, providing expertise straight from the source.
There are also many other ways to stand out:

• Specialization: Don’t position yourself as a generalist agency. Focus instead on a specific niche like ecommerce SEO, local SEO, SaaS SEO, etc.
• Proprietary process: Develop a unique methodology for your campaigns that no other agency offers.
• Added value: Provide bundle packages for additional services like CRO, PPC, and web development. Some of your rivals may not provide this service.

There are many opportunities to differentiate your agency according to its unique strengths and philosophies. In StudioHawk’s case, Anthony capitalized on his proven track record from Australia and embraced the Aussie way of doing things. So, use any assets and value-added services that set your agency apart.
Map out your ideal client
Here is why StudioHawk made the strategic decision to focus on the small-to-medium enterprise (SME) market (when launching in the UK):

• SMEs generally have smaller budgets: StudioHawk responded by offering competitive prices and lower overhead costs.
• Many SMEs suffer from poor experiences: This inspired Anthony’s team to create quality services in a field marred by low-quality SEO providers who use churn and burn tactics.
• Smaller businesses crave more personalized service: This calls for tighter client bonds.

Anthony’s team impressed SMEs by keeping things simple and transparent. They focused on clearly communicating their service and its effect on the client’s business goals and revenue targets.
Hiring and training new talents
Build your agency’s SEO team with candidates who align with your company culture and match your core values. Don’t just focus on technical skills. SEO expertise is an important skill but can be taught without much friction. Training culturally incompatible employees to have the right mindset and attitude is much harder.
Be patient and discerning. Consider the candidate’s energy and soft skills during the SEO interview process. Integrating candidates into your team is easier if they mesh with your philosophy and vibe.
Developing clear frameworks
Provide hands-on training and set clear systems and frameworks for your team. People need to be told what to do, what their job is, how to do it, and why they are doing it. Lack of structure leads to inconsistency, low-value work, and misalignment with client expectations.
Craft clear job descriptions with set responsibilities, metrics, and each role’s expected outputs. Your overall order of operations can be as loose or hardline as desired, but create a guidebook, rules, and criteria around it. Resources like these help new hires understand their role and responsibilities.
Always stay on top of SEO
Clients value experts, so you must constantly grow by following new trends and updates, and learning from industry leaders.
Make ongoing education and collaboration part of your core values. Here is how Anthony’s team implemented this:

• They attended industry-specific events and SEO conferences.
• They built relationships with respected thought leaders.
• They subscribed to newsletters and joined online communities.

The bottom line? Engage with the broader SEO community. Don’t work in isolation.
Share wins and lessons
Share knowledge internally. Learn from your colleagues through:

• Campaign review sessions, where your SEO specialists can present their high-performing work and failures side by side. Pinpoint strategies leading either to success or poor results.
• Collaborative brainstorming, specifically on reporting enhancements, use of tools, client interaction, etc.
• Workshops on industry-specific insights, where the team discusses strategies for various niches.

This allows team members to improve and learn from one another continually.
Adapt to search evolution
SEO is going to get harder. With EEAT, SGE, and algorithm updates, SEO professionals who want to make a bigger splash must work harder to improve their content and quality.
For example, SGE is already altering the SERP landscape. Its AI-powered responses include links to Quora and Reddit. This means you should consider socials as additional traffic channels. SGE snippets vary across industries, especially in ecommerce, indicating the need to create exceptional product descriptions and pages. Ads are also occupying more space.
A lot is going on. You must watch these shifts carefully while integrating your business into the overall marketing ecosystem.
Pitfalls to avoid when starting and running an SEO agency

1. Don’t focus on things outside your control

Don’t compare yourself to others or set unrealistic goals. There will always be people smarter or better than you. Rather than dwelling on the unreachable, focus on factors you can control; the number of meetings you hold, the quality of your team’s work, developing efficient systems and processes, and so on.
You can always control your motivation and discipline. Your “why” for being in this business is also within your scope of influence.

1. Remember your ‘Why’

Zero in on your core reason for starting your SEO business if you haven’t already. Not establishing a “why” prevents you from seeing the bigger picture.
Maybe your “why” revolves around creating the best agency out there. It could also be a less lofty goal, like designing a lifestyle business that helps you spend more time with your family. Whatever your core purpose is, identify it and reference it constantly.
Reconnect with your initial inspiration for starting your business. Then, focus on improving operations and steadily working towards your goals.

1. Don’t blame clients if they quit

Take responsibility and learn from client churn. Losing a client can hurt, but blaming the client won’t do you any favors. There is always a lesson to be extracted from the situation, so take accountability.
Put yourself in the client’s shoes. Try to understand why they parted ways with you. Was there a failure in communication or reporting? Did they fail to see the value? Did the client need more meetings to stay informed and involved?
Conduct NPS (Net Promoter Score) or feedback surveys regularly. This can help you consistently improve and understand what your clients did and didn’t like.

1. Know your numbers

Launching an agency is exciting, and cooperating with clients is a key aspect of the business. But it’s your business at the end of the day, and you need to run it that way. If you want your agency to operate for a long time and be successful, learn how to master its financial and operational aspects.
Wrapping up
Starting an SEO agency and running it successfully requires strategic planning, continuous learning, effective team management, and commitment to high-quality work. Thankfully, these are all aspects you can control. Focus on these elements to build a solid foundation for success.

Final Fantasy is one of the biggest(if not the biggest) RPG franchises out there. As an anthology series, the games each hold a different world, every single numbered installment, as well as a different story. The patterns that connect the stories are there in order to keep a Final Fantasy game a Final Fantasy game. They’ve been able to make these games feel consistent in their approach for about 10 installments, with the titles after 10 being more on the subversion side. Now that Final Fantasy 7 is getting a remake “trilogy”, this subversion has become a complete deconstruction of what made the series well loved. The new people in charge of the IP seemed to have lost the magic, resulting in the series becoming a hollow husk of its former self.
With so many RPG Maker people wanting to recapture the magic, as well as Square Enix itself, this brings up the question: what exactly is a Final Fantasy plot?
In the 80s, Final Fantasy was conceived as a response to TTRPG games like Dungeon and Dragons and computer RPG games like Wizardry, with Dragon’s Quest being an influence and sharing the same influences itself. These fantasy game influences created a lot of the gameplay, with the story coming from what came prior in the form of Tolkienesque stories. To further the chain of influence, these Tolkienesque stories were inspired by Arthurian romance and mythology, holding a big focus on how alchemy approached the combination of mythologies to express a monomyth. Carl Jung helped popularize the monomyth, along with Joseph Campbell, which would later establish the media usage of the hero’s journey. When Lord of the Rings came out, the prevention of the world ending by the usage of a MacGuffin became a staple in heroic fantasy storytelling.
Final Fantasy began with nameless characters of unknown origins, having you play as the 4 warriors of light. 4 warriors were picked to represent the 4 elements, the 4 corners of the world, with 4 monsters of the elements acting as their main form of opposition as they head to the final boss. Fire, water, air, and earth were treated as vulnerable crystals that must be restored, bringing order back to a chaotic world, with the final boss being Chaos itself, to end the game with a peaceful kingdom. Rather than a single ring to rule them all, the MacGuffins in FF1 are instead key items, each one unlocking a new location to move the story forward. The world map is entirely used, from land to sea to air, forcing a journey process across different areas as these heroes attempt to fix the world.
The gameplay focuses on classes, with each class serving a different party purpose, forcing the player to pick different types for easier results. Each class was given a different outfit, easy to tell the difference between their roles, with each one symbolically having a different personality. It’s not that they had a personality in the game where they never speak, but rather the roles they hold grant them different paths on how they got there. For example, the fighter would have to become physically stronger and knighted to become a knight, while the thief would have to sneak around and learn black magic to become a ninja. In fact, having more thieves in your team was a way to make the game harder, because of their lower HP.
This combination of classes and a quest to save the world changed upon the second installment, where characters were finally given names and backstories. Due to this held history, their hometown was presented as the catalyst for the story to begin, being saved by a princess this time as they start a rebellion against an evil Emperor. Sounds familiar? This is where Star Wars comes in more full, acting as an inspiration for the science fantasy elements that come in during the later half of this game and the first one. The final location of a floating island could be considered part of Star War’s Cloud City, but it can also be tied to the more Japanese inspiration of Castle in the Sky.
Studio Ghibli, the “Japanese Disney”, came out with this movie a year prior to Final Fantasy 1’s release. In this movie, steampunk retrofuturism was inspired by science romanticism books of the 1800s, while its castle in the sky was inspired by the floating island in the satirical novel Gulliver's Travels (1726). All of these are still directly inspired by both the hero’s journey of alchemical study (through Star Wars) and mythological journeys(with floating islands being found in Homer’s Odyssey). The steampunk style continued into later titles, allowing the usage of swords with the combination of robots to make sense to the player. This also reinforces a romantic approach to storytelling, as Arthurian romance and scientific romance are combined into a mythological premise concerning the end of the world and heroes who go out to save it with MacGuffins.
Two creatures that would play important roles for the heroes were both made by the same designer: Koichi Ishii. The Chocobo would be used as a giant bird that you ride like a horse, while the Moogle was meant to be a spiritual assistant that has a pom-pom growing out of its head, symbolically declaring itself as your personal cheerleader. The cat-like body of the Moogle, as well as its infinite source of magical assistance, could easily be traced back to the 60s blue cat named Doraemon. While the cute Moogle was based on a culturally significant source (as well as the kami of Japanese folklore), the chocobo turned itself into one by becoming a cute form of transportation, both allowing the game to become more appealing to kids and animal lovers. These additions allowed the traveling merchants of the game, as well as the trusty galliform, to serve more of a story purpose when their significant locations are visited.
By the time we hit Final Fantasy 6, the classes are changed from choosing outfits to become character locked. At this point, the characters themselves are the class, with more classes collected as more characters are collected along the way. Their backstories come with their discovery, allowing their hometowns to become different locations across the map, and their relationships growing into pre-game histories and future romances. The summoner, a special type of mage, is treated as the most important type of character, due to their control of creatures that are based on our polytheistic gods and some mythological characters. Their role is to serve as a humorous deus ex machina, a reference to how plays would use a god of mythology to interfere with a story and set things right when the writer usually wrote themselves into a corner.
The roles of characters each become a repetition of this setup from 6, causing several key plot points to occur. The main “leader” is a young male who holds a bladed weapon, in the form of a sword or dagger. This is the “Luke Skywalker” of the group who is aided by an older magician or mentor who shows him the ropes. Along the way, they find a “princess” with access to ancient powers who is able to lead them to the MacGuffin that will save the world. From the beginning, they are opposed by a “black knight” who is the shadow of the leader, with an emperor antagonist that is overshadowed by this black knight, leading to the final showdown that is fought in several stages.
Three stages are utilized to represent the destruction of the antagonist’s body, mind, and spirit. Their presence throughout the story is in the form of stages, acting as spiritual checkpoints for the heroic leader to confront their shadow. Once the evil “emperor” is defeated, the shadow's presence brings in the apocalypse that threatens the world, as well as their symbolic four horsemen. Across the journey of the main party, they unlock the 4 forms of transportation: earth(main map), water(boat), air (airship), and fire (combustion vehicle/chocobo). Each quest unlocks the next quest with the next ability to access it, whether it’s a key item or a form of this transportation.
Each game comes with about 10 hours of storylines, making up about a fifth of total gameplay for an average playthrough. This sounds like a lot, but when split up by the 5 point story structure, this gives about 2 hours per point. When we realize there are an average of 70 locations per game, we can feel overwhelmed by the amount of locations to visit. Thankfully, only a small handful are actual story locations and the majority are battle locations for gameplay. The trick to figuring out their location planning is all in the types of locations they go through.
Locations are split into two types: 1. Hub 2. Dungeon
Hubs come in: 1. Small merchant 2. Rest stop(usually a save point) 3. Village (people but no shops) 4. Town (people and shops) 5. City (people, shops, side quests) 6. Castle (people, shops, main quests)
The dungeons come in the variety of: 1. Grassy 2. Desert 3. Snowy 4. Mountain 5. underwater 6. Cave 7. Forest 8. Haunted House 9. Laboratory 10. Castle 11. Space/unknown
When we view it in this way, those 70 locations get split into 35 each, with about 4- 5 hubs for each type and 3 - 4 dungeons of each type. With how each game needs a main hub as the kingdom, the emperor’s tower, the shadow’s fortress, a hometown(plus dungeon) for each side character, 3 to 4 main islands, and remakes of locations caused by running themes(like the gardens in 8), the tall order becomes far more shorter than presumed. The gathering of the side characters make up the bulk of act 2, which include: 1. A driver of the airship 2. An unconventional “mancer” 3. A gag character 4. One who betrays the empire (sometimes comes as an NPC or temporary character) 5. Secret characters 6. A tragic character (seeks revenge on the empire) 7. A dragoon (or sniper in the case of FF8
These character types can be combined in any way, but the goal is to include them for a full experience.
As for villains, the typical boss will be based on a particular weakness to a single(or theme based) type of attack. Reoccurring “Team Rocket” style battles will act as another form of story checkpoint, with these goons being a creature like Ultros or a trio like The Turks. In the final dungeon, a boss rush will either summon a lot of previous bosses to take you on at a higher level, or introduce a cast of new bosses that are to be fought at different layers. The defeat of a boss is meant to be the ending of a quest and the expansion into the next quest area until the game is over, with optional bosses causing neither of these(hence the name “optional”). The normal enemies of the area are (supposed) to train the player for the encounter with the boss of that same area.
Final Fantasy followed this simple formula for about 10 installments until the PS2 era started to make it shaky and then Final Fantasy 12 removed the doomsday weapon. 13 removed the male lead and any coherent recollection of a main antagonist. Once we got to 15, the doomsday weapon was back but now the summonings are treated like main characters. The remake of 7 flips everything on its head as it tries to force Midgar to be a world of its own, not realizing that the journey requires the player to leave the castle and get on an airship within the same game. As time goes on, the romanticism of its origins will be lost and it will just be building over itself without understanding where any of the structure comes from, because each installment comes with more deconstruction.
Final Fantasy started as romantic mythology, tied together with the fairy tale magic of Disney and Studio Ghibli. Everything about it is supposed to be cute, aimed at kids, hits hard enough to make an adult cry, and blessed by the presence of consistency. We don’t need the games to be more realistic, we need them to be more enjoyable. But hopefully, with this guide, you will be able to make your own Final Fantasy one day. You will make it better, make it proper, and it will certainly not be the final time we see it.

If mods remove this, that's totally cool. I never post, but this shit's been spinning around in my head and I just didn't know what to do with it.
So I saw people analyzing the frame by frame "so figure it out" meme (I don't even know anymore which meme it's from but i was going by this screenshot...
https://imgur.com/a/63dbsry
Anyway, I found a pattern a few hours ago, but still have not been able to come up with what it means!! And I think it's too cohencidental to be coincidence. (Maybe it's a gamer thing? Or a computer programmy thing? Or maybe i'm just not seeing it? Or maybe i'm *completely* off base here and my brain is just mush. All of those are entirely possible at this point!)
So the phrase we're working with is clearly "so figure it out"
And like all good puzzles, I started from the end and worked my way backwards.
So the letters that are incorrect fall into this pattern...
SOFIGUREITOU -2
SOFIGUREITO -2 -2
SOFIGUREIT -2 -2 -6
SOFIGUREIT -2 -4 -8
SOFIGUREI -2 -4 -8 -14
SOFIGURE -2 -4 -8 -12 -20
SOFIGUR -2 -4 -8 -12 -20 -8
SOFIGU -2 -4 -8 -12 -18 -7
SOFIG -2 -4 -6 -12 -18 -6
SOFI -2 -4 -6 -10 -18 - 4
SOF -2 -4 -6 -10 -16 -2
SO -2 -4 -6 -10 -16 -2
S -2 -4 -6 -10 -16 -0
The numbers I wrote represent how far from the letter it's supposed to be it actually is. (And yes, for some of them I had to loop around from A to Z) For example, the last frame says "SO FIGURE IT OUV". The incorrect letter is a V and it's supposed to be a T. T is -2 spots away from V in the alphabet.
**A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z*\*
And so if you notice, all the missing letters follow a pretty steady pattern.
But the only thing I've been able to make of the numbers, is count backwards from the end of the alphabet and assign each letter a -number, and then I remove all duplicate letters/ numbers that show up on the line prior, I'm left with with "U S W M G O T I T Q K ". Which the end part "got it quick" makes sense, but the "swm" is still annoying the shit outta me. (And tbh, I'm hoping there's more to it than that and maybe the numbers mean something else. Because if "you got it quick" is the only goddamn answer to this freakin puzzle I'm gonna slap DFV if I ever happen to see him!!!)
Or maybe I'm completely off base... Who knows! But if this makes sense to you and anyone has any insight that I'm missing, please let me know!
(And if anyone has already solved this, please point me to that post and I'll delete this asap. Thanks!)

------------------
The Book of Harris-y
(Religion as it should be) -
by Zachary Harris
(cc) (NC) (ND) by Zachary Harris
May be copied, distributed, or displayed, verbatim only. non-commercial, not derivative works nor remixes.
First edition May 2024
Chapter 1 - What's in a name
Chapter 2 - A bunch of rules
Chapter 3 - Secrete origins
Chapter 4 - The end
Chapter 5 - Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
Chapter 6 - The 2000 year war
Chapter 7 - Humans and gods
Chapter 8 - Parables
Chapter 9 - Feedback
Chapter
CHAPTER 1
What's in a name
Some religions are named after it's main prophet. Christianity is named after christ. Buddhism is named after Budda.
I, Zach Harris, dub this religion HARRISy.
Where is it written that a religion can't have a sense of humor?
HARRISy is not a spoof or sarcasm.
But any religion without a sense of humor, absolutely NEEDS to be ridiculed.
I was raised in christianity. So most of my criticism will be aimed at the Abrahamic religions.
I intend to build harrisy on logic and reason. Not the superstition, lies, and, threats that the Abrahamic religions are built on.
As an alternative for conscientious objectors caught in the religious wars (see chapter 6).
Deities are not really necessary for inspiration or religion. An all-powerful creator wouldn't need the help or adulation of puny mortals.
Only cults and human puppet masters need that. So we leave deities to their own devises. They ought to be up to it.
Harrisy is a religion about/for humans, as religions should be.
My leadership skills suck. So I will avoid leading, to avoid becoming a cult.
Chapter 2
A bunch of rules
Everybody hates rules. But let's establish what Harrisy stands for.
10 rules is a nice round number. But when the first four are about loyalty to the cult, You have to question who the rules are meant to benefit.
The christian 'commandments' only benefit the christian cult. The commandments don't even benefit their god.
A true all-powerful, immortal, creator god, would not need human worship or loyalty. The same as humans don't need the worship of ants.
We don't make rules for ants to follow. Just stay out of our way. The Abrahamic god treats us like ants. Either ignores or steps on us. It was his cults that made the 'commandments', not their god.
(more about that in chapter 7)
Harrisy has rules to live by, to benefit HUMANS:
A) Cause no harm.
B) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Christianity calls this 'The Golden Rule' as if they invented it. But this was part of every culture and religion that humans ever created. (except Is-lame)
C) Do not kill. Do not kill humans.
Self preservation may override this, but killing is still a bad idea.
When killing animals for food, respect their sacrifice. Killing for sport is a bad idea.
D) People are not property.
Do not try to own others, in any sense.
You belong to yourself, do not give yourself away.
E) Do not steal.
You would not want to loose your stuff. (see B) Stealing harms others.
F) Do not lie. Avoid those who lie.
You would want to know the truth. To make better decisions. (see B)
G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
This applies to more than just sex. Do not force your religion on others. Do not force harrisy on others.
H) Do not shit wherever you please.
You don't want to slog through other people's shit.
(it's a metaphor.) Leave the world better than you found it.
I) Guard your privacy. Respect the privacy of others.
Beware of others who might use info against you. Or might unduly profit off you.
We have no rules about loyalty. We understand loyalties change. Just be honest (rule E)
We have no rule specifically about Adultery. Adultery might be considered loyalty, which changes.
Or adultery might be considered stealing, stealing affection. (rule D)
Chapter 3
Secrete origins
No one knows how/why it all began. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
The answer night as well be 42.
Most religions make it a crime to ask questions about their creation myths. This promotes ignorance. Helps the cult, not the people.
We understand the 'scientific method'. Scientists ask questions and are willing to test and adapt to new info.
So, for now, we trust scientific conclusions about the beginnings.
The current best theories from science:
The universe started from what they humorously call 'The Big Bang', about 13.8 Billion years ago.
Many are curious about what came before that. But we find that to be irrelevant to our everyday life.
Some religions say their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it. But we owe them nothing.
The earth was formed about 4.5 Billion years ago.
Humans evolved from other critters over many, many, many Generations (not years).
Some religions claim their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it.
We do not owe Harrisy or any religion for our existence.
Chapter 4
The end
How does it all end?
No one knows. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
Christinity predicts a bad acid trip. (See Revaluations) Any day now. So buy your ticket to heaven early.
It's an obvious con, You sacrifice this life you already have, for the promise of another life they can't prove.
Science predicts 'Entropy'. Every atom in the universe will drift away from every other till they can't react any more.
But humans will be dead or evolved into something we can't recognize, by then. Too distant, time-wise, to worry about.
Your personal end? What happens when you die?
Most probably nothing.
Seems like every religion has a different 'afterlife'. They can't all be right. (but they can all be wrong)
You can't pick the one you want. If an 'afterlife' exists it is what it is. WE can't control it. No cult can control it.
The cults are telling you what you want to hear. So you give your CURRENT LIFE to their cult. The life that is certain, in exchange for an empty promise.
No guarantees, No refunds, You won't get your old life back if they are wrong (or lying).
Pascal's gamble is a sucker bet. It never pays out.
Harrisy aims to make This Current Life better, worth living for it's own sake. We give priority to This Current Life over any theoretical 'afterlife'.
Chapter 5
Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
What's the point of Sexual Taboos?
Why would an IMORTAL (non-sexual, non-reproducing) being give a damn?
For example in the christian cult:
*Masturbation is sin,
*Spilling your seed outside the womb is sin,
*Marrying outside the church is sin,
*Divorce is sin,
*Birth Control is sin,
*Abortion is sin,
*Marriages without offspring are invalid.
*Brand (circumcise) your males, so your females know who they are allowed to mate with,
And in Is-lame, Women are just sexual slaves.
Taken as a whole,
The only purpose served by sexual taboos, is to help the CULT out-populate rival cults.
A REAL "creator god" wouldn't give a damn. Or Wouldn't need our cooperation. it would just create more of us, as needed.
A REAL creator wouldn't threaten us, it would just change us.
Sexual Taboos are serving a cult, not a god.
Harrisy has only one sexual taboo:
Rule G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
Chapter 6
The 2000 year war
The Abrahamic religions have been at war with each other for about 2000 years. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
But like some other religions, at all times attempting to be 'the one true religion'. And by their competition, doing more harm than good.
And the Abrahamic religions haven't even shown that the 'good' stuff needs their religion to get done.
They preach that it is somehow noble or their duty to spread their faith. ("Onward Christian Soldiers")
There are dangers associated with proselytism and/or evangelicalism:
(Please note - I had help with the following)
Focus on Conversion over Service:
Proselytism/evangelicalism prioritizes conversion goals over humanitarian or service-oriented activities.
This undermines the credibility and effectiveness of religious organizations engaged in charitable work,
as it is perceived as conditional or insincere.
Dogmatism and Exclusivity:
Evangelicalism/proselytism promotes a rigid, dogmatic interpretation of religious beliefs that excludes other perspectives.
This exclusivity leads to intolerance of differing viewpoints and hinders constructive dialogue and cooperation with people of other faiths or worldviews.
Coercion and Manipulation:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves coercion, manipulation, or exploitation of vulnerable individuals,
such as offering material incentives or exploiting power differentials to induce conversion.
This raises ethical concerns about respect for autonomy and informed consent.
Political Activism:
Evangelicalism/proselytism has been associated with political movements that prioritize specific social or moral issues, leading to controversy and polarization.
this politicization blurs the lines between religion and politics, compromising the integrity of both.
Interfaith Tensions:
Proselytism/evangelicalism contributes to interfaith tensions and conflicts, especially when it is aggressive or disrespectful to members of other religious communities.
It will undermine efforts to foster mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation among different faith traditions.
Fragmentation of Communities:
Proselytism/evangelicalism leads to the fragmentation or division of communities, particularly in contexts where multiple religious groups coexist.
This creates social tensions and weaken social cohesion, especially when proselytism is conducted in a confrontational or divisive manner.
Proselytization and Missionary Work:
We are concerned about aggressive or coercive methods used in proselytization/evangelicalism efforts,
especially when targeting vulnerable populations or in multicultural contexts.
This leads to cultural imperialism or disrespect for the autonomy of individuals and communities.
Cultural Insensitivity:
Proselytism/evangelicalism disregards or disrespects the cultural and religious traditions of the target community.
This leads to cultural imperialism or colonialism, especially when proselytism/evangelicalism is conducted in contexts where there is a history of exploitation or marginalization.
Misrepresentation or Simplification of Beliefs:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves oversimplification or misrepresentation of religious beliefs and practices in order to make them more appealing to potential converts.
This leads to misunderstandings or misconceptions about the beliefs and traditions of the proselytizing religion.
For these reasons we conscientious objectors to the religious war, need an uncompetitive religion like Harris-y.
But don't push it.
Chapter 7
Humans and gods
Why do human religions have gods that are all too human?
A creator of everything that needs humans to wright/publish a holy book?
An all powerful god who needs humans to promote him?
An all powerful god with a vindictive human sized ego?
An immortal who is obsessed with human reproduction?
An all powerful god who needs humans more than we need him?
Any actual god wouldn't need human religion.
Harrisy serves humans, not gods.
Chapter 8
Parables
Corn In A Cow Patty.
Finding truth in the Abrahamic holy books,
is like finding corn in a cow patty.
Sure there are some good kernels in there,
but is it really worth digging through the shit to find them?
You can find uncontaminated kernels of truth anywhere.
Chapter 9
Feedback
Feedback should be sent to: [zachharris@mail2hell.com](mailto:zachharris@mail2hell.com)
Don't expect a timely reply.

My Girlfriend (19F) and me (19M) were hanging out on Monday 13th May and we were in the sun just minding our business. When i take out my phone to take a picture of us, she says to me “Can you delete it?) and i ask no questions about it, went on to my camera roll to delete the picture whereas she grabs my phone and deletes it herself and then proceeds to head over to recently deleted. She finds three photos of girls (one of the photos was two girls taking selfies with clothes on) the other two photos was just the same with mirrorpics and she was also fully clothed. My girlfriend asks “what are these photos?” At first I didn’t know what to answer but i went ahead and said well these photos turn me on and i didn’t really think through when i screenshotted must of forgotten them in the recently deleted folder. Well she then proceeds to walk away from me and i try to pack our things as fast as possible and when i catch up to her, she starts to be very violent and threatens to call the police on me for whatever reason? And thats when i drew the line and started to walk away and when i turn my back she says “go fuck your mother” and come to think of it, i should’ve punched her throat out but its only words from a crazy woman so no harm done really. The second all of this drama happened she blocked me literally everywhere. I usually call her from an private number in that way i can reach her but that day no call no nothing because i felt very ashamed for my actions and why i did that. I’ve never in my life felt so ashamed, anyways i call her the next day and she answers me and i tell her that i’ve missed her and i really wanna talk to her and she doesn’t reakky reapond with anything except for “mhm” or “yea” which I felt in that moment very awkward. But anyways didn’t think much of it.
The next day i call which is Wednesday 15 May and i tell her that i was outside her school and waiting for her to go and grab lunch, i go to grab lunch with her because she eats alone and doesn’t really have that many options of friends, so i try to make it easier for her and show up every lunch break she gets why i succeed to do literally the whole semester. Anyways i tell her over the phone that i was waiting for her but must of missed her and i did wait probably like 20-25 minutes because I was very eager to solve our little situation. (Btw the reason why i left was because i had already tried to call her and i was supposed to go pick up my mom from home to drop her off at work, otherwise would’ve waited longer) anyways i call her later on that day and tell her about and she said to me that her lunch break started earlier which is the reason why I must of missed her, she tells me that I should’ve came earlier to meet her in the library and yesterday.
(Btw we talked for an hour asked eachother how we are doing and try to connect a little which seemed like it worked, but i tried to make it clear that i still want to talk about our little incident)
Anyways yesterday I go out to meet her and I finally catch her and follow her to go eat, we both ordered food by this time we still haven’t greeted eachother only I was trying to get closer to her without trying to make her uncomfortable. I even ordered her favorite dip sauce for her french fries because she doesn’t usually order her itself because she gets limited money on a card from her school which means she can only buy some certain meals on the menu. When we get our food i go to her table to ask if i can sit her which she answers with no. And right there and then my appetite went away like crazy didn’t even touch the food.
When we were done I went outside to wait for her and there again I went after her to show her that I actually care for her and that I don’t wanna give up and leave her alone. We get to a bench and im trying to sit there and talk with her but she’s all silent and doesn’t speak I also brought to her that my therapist recommends that we go to her where we can sit and talk about our problems. She doesn’t respond to that. I then instead tried to tell her about how I actually feel about her and that she’s the most important person to me and that i love her etc.
When she goes back to school, her friend requests a follow on my instagram and I realized that my girlfriend which is my ex now had told her friend about what had happened and i was shocked because we never tell anyone about out problems and try to solve them ourselves.
So my stupid goes outta my way to buy her a bouquet of flowers and a little note with cute words. And again i tried to catch her after school which i did and she went to a place where she could talk to me at least what i thought but when i sat down she basically said that im a cheater and disrespectful and that she wants nothing to do with me and she’s moving on. I even tell her about her friend that is trying to follow me just because im used to telling her everything. And she responded with “yea she wants you to leave me alone” then i stood up and walked away.
Now I don’t know how many of you will agree with me but those guys who has actually given everything to their girlfriend and in return from her u basically get nothing which is my case, we all know how that feels and it’s literally the worst feeling ever because the relationship is only holding because of you which is me. The relationship was only one sided and my stupid ass was too blind to see it. I don’t think i was right for my actions but to call me cheater over that is really raising the bar. I can take and accept that it was disrespectful but yea it is what it is. I have witnessed this chick look at another man without a shirt while we were at the beach (me n her) for literally an hour if not longer. I told her “wtf is your problem? Why are you looking at him?” She actually has the guts to say “it was to get your attention” bruh what I even left her with him to show her im fucking pissed and my stupid feels sorry for her so i return and that son of a bitch who’s she’s looking at was smiling at me. That little piece of shit humilated me and i still took her home like the little birch i am. And there has been multiple times where she has done things shady but she doesn’t speak about them. I can might aswell call her the cheater for looking at him and humiliating me.
I don’t really know what to think of the situation but me n her aren’t speaking and I think it’s for the best but I still think we should’ve worked it somehow but what can you do. She can actually tell her friend to kiss my ass because ik this girl better than anyone.

I think we all know who's in danger of getting out this episode and that is between Bomby and Nickel.
I originally had Pin too but she gets quite a bit to do in this episode and has the most likes as of this post.
Not complaining and this is just a guess since I don't use the dislike extension. I always find it fun to guess who is most likely eliminated.
With that out of the way, Nickel and Bomby lacked creentime compared to the rest UFE but who knows, people might feel bad for them for that, like how Golf Ball wasn't in the bottom 2 despite getting the least amount of screentime in BFDIA 9.
It could be anyone else but with how popular everyone else is, I think screentime and being memorable helps.
Nickel was used quite a bit in the beginning for the comedy and while Bomby was around longer, he didn't have the out there and gross-out humor Nickel got. Not to mention, both characters are less memorable than Spongey surprisingly in this episode for me.
I feel like Bomby might get the boot again unfortunately but who knows? Maybe the results will surprise us again.
Kinda sucks that the most recent TPOT boot is most likely in danger again as well as Bomby being in danger in both TPOT and BFDIA.
Anyways, I loved this episode. It's fun and I here for it. I'm fine with Nickel and Bomby's screentime here and enjoyed every character (really happy that they used Spongey more in this episode too).
I only feel a little sour because of TPOT's results and putting Just Not UFE instead of Are You Okay or Team8s (yes, it's bias).
Sidenote but I am still enjoying what they did with so many characters in this episode alone. Needle, Pin, Spongey, Pencil, and Ruby (and the others).
If Free Smart was UFE instead of Fries or No Name, then Book would also be a contender. And if Free Smart was UFE instead of Woah Bunch, she would most likely be the boot.
Again, it isn't for sure, especially since Fries has a rather vocal hatebase despite his growing popularity in BFDIA and the votes could be way different than expected.
TLDR: Nickel and Bomby are bottom 2 if it wasn't obvious and I love BFDIA 12 despite it

How to Free Watch PGA Championship 2024 live? Golf fans, get ready, because it's time for the men's second major of the year: The 106th PGA Championship. Returning to Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville, Kentucky, for the fourth time (and the first time since 2014), the 2024 PGA Championship will see big names, including defending PGA champ Brooks Koepka, Rory McIlroy — fresh off his Wells Fargo title win — Scottie Scheffler and Tiger Woods competing for the $17.5 million purse.
Watch PGA Championship 2024 Live
The 106th PGA Championship begins Thursday at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville. The field features 16 former PGA champions, including Brooks Koepka, who won the 2023 PGA Championship and looks to repeat. Justin Thomas has returned to his hometown, seeking his third PGA Championship.
The first two rounds are set for Thursday and Friday, and the initial field of 156 golfers will be cut to the top 70 players and ties after the second round. Are you ready to follow all the action on the green at Valhalla? Here’s how to watch the 2024 PGA Championship, including the full TV schedule and more.
How to watch the 2024 PGA Championship:
Date(s): Thursday, May 16-Sunday, May 19
Location: Valhalla Golf Club, Louisville, KY
TV channel: ESPN, CBS, Golf Channel
Streaming: ESPN+, Paramount+, DirecTV Stream
What channel is the 2024 PGA Championship on?
For US viewers, the PGA Championship will air mainly on ESPN and CBS. There will be select coverage streaming on ESPN+, and the Golf Channel's alternative coverage airing on its network and streaming on Peacock.
ESPN will air the majority of the first two rounds of the tournament on Thursday and Friday, and then ESPN and CBS will share the third and final rounds on Saturday and Sunday. ESPN+ will have early coverage before the ESPN and CBS broadcasts all four days of the tournament and will also stream the practices Wednesday before the tournament begins.
Who is playing in the 2024 PGA Championship?
Brooks Koepka is the defending PGA champ headed into the 2024 tournament. Koepka will be joined by Rory McIlroy, Scottie Scheffler, Tiger Woods and more big names in golf.
How to watch the PGA Championship without cable:
To watch the PGA Championship 2024 without cable, you have several options. Firstly, check the official PGA Championship website for any live streaming options they may offer. Many major sporting events now provide online streaming services for viewers without cable subscriptions.
Secondly, consider signing up for streaming services that include sports channels. Providers like Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, Sling TV, and fuboTV often carry channels that broadcast golf tournaments, including the PGA Championship. These services typically offer free trials, allowing you to test them out before committing.
Thirdly, explore network-specific apps. Channels like NBC Sports, CBS Sports, and ESPN frequently offer live streaming through their apps or websites. If the PGA Championship is airing on one of these networks, you may be able to watch it without cable by logging in with your internet service provider credentials.
If you're in an area with good reception, you might also try using a digital antenna to pick up local channels broadcasting the tournament. This can provide a free option for watching the PGA Championship without cable.
Stream the PGA Championship on Paramount+
For streaming the PGA Championship coverage on CBS, you'll need the Paramount+ with Showtime tier, available for $12. The subscription is ad-free and includes live access to your local CBS channel.
In addition to sporting events like the PGA Championship, March Madness, Premier League and Champions League games, Paramount+ offers a host of other hit shows, new and classic movies and live sporting events. Unlike a lot of other streaming services these days, Paramount+ still offers a one-week free trial — so new subscribers can sign up to watch the tournament this weekend and check out the rest of the Paramount+ library totally free for seven days.
Stream the PGA Championship on ESPN+
For ESPN+ subscribers, early PGA Championship coverage will stream daily through the tournament. An ESPN+ subscription starts at $11 a month and grants you access to exclusive ESPN+ content, including all UFC PPV prelims, select F1 races, other live events, fantasy sports tools and premium ESPN+ articles.
Watch the Golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship Peacock
While Peacock and NBC may not be airing the 2024 PGA Championship, the platform will have the golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship coverage streaming live on the platform. A $5.99/month ad-supported Peacock subscription lets you stream live sports and events airing on NBC and thousands of hours of shows and movies, including beloved sitcoms such as Parks and Recreation and The Office and even recent theatrical releases.
Or for $12 monthly, you can upgrade to an ad-free subscription which includes live access to your local NBC affiliate (not just during designated sports and events) and the ability to download select titles to watch offline.
Is Tiger Woods Playing in the PGA Championship?
It's hard to say Tiger is guaranteed to play due to the injuries he's been battling over the past few years. However, the 15-time major champ has confirmed he's going to take a crack at the 2024 PGA Championship. Tiger was recently spotted practicing at Valhalla course and has told several outlets be plans to participate. Woods has won the PGA Championship four times in his career (the last time he won was in 2007). The 48-year-old is not expected to take the trophy this year but will no doubt be one of the biggest names to watch.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream in The US
Golf fans in the US can watch PGA Championship live streams on ESPN and CBS. ESPN has coverage of all four days, while CBS will broadcast Saturday's third round and Sunday's final round.
No cable? No problem. Try a cord-cutting service like Sling or Fubo to watch the golf. There are no long contracts with these services, so you can try them and cancel whenever you've had enough. Fubo has the advantage of including both ESPN and CBS (as well as NBC's Golf Channel) in its $79.99/month Pro package – alongside 178 other channels.
The ESPN Plus streaming service will also host live coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship across all four days. A subscription costs $10.99/month or $109.99 annually. And you can watch CBS's coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship on the Paramount Plus streaming service. You'll need a Paramount Plus with Showtime subscription to watch the CBS Sports live stream. That will set you back $11.99/month or $119.99/year.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From The UK
In the UK, Sky will be your destination as Sky Sports Golf will televise action from the PGA Championship. A Sky Sports subscription will give you access to all nine Sky Sports channels, with the option to view in 4K and HDR (provided you have an HDR-ready Sky Q box and HLG-compatible TV).
Another option is Sky's Now Sports streaming service. You can get 24 hours of viewing for £14.99, or month-long access for £34.99 – though cheaper deals are often available.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From AUSTRALIA
In Australia, the most comprehensive golf coverage is offered by Kayo Sports where you can check out Fox Sports, which broadcasts the PGA Tour coverage. Not only can you watch a PGA Championship live stream from Kentucky, it's also the place to go for all the PGA Tour and DP World Tour events, and the other Majors. You can watch events from the LPGA Tour, too.
On top of all that, Kayo Sports offers access to over 50 sports live and on-demand, with some its big name channels including Fox Sports, ESPN, and beIN Sports. It's also good value at either $25 for Kayo One or $35 for Kayo Basic. Basic lets you stream sport on two devices at once.
2024 PGA Championship broadcast schedule:
Wednesday, May 15, 2024
Live From the PGA Championship: 9 a.m.-5 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Practice rounds: 12-3 p.m. (ESPN+)
Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Thursday, May 16, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 1: 7 a.m.-12 p.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 1: 12-8 p.m. (ESPN)
Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Friday, May 17, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 2: 7 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 2: 1-8 p.m. (ESPN)
Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Saturday, May 18, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 3: 8-10 a.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 3: 10 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN)
PGA Championship, Round 3: 1-7 p.m. (CBS)
Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)

Where Can I Streams Free PGA Championship live? Golf fans, get ready, because it's time for the men's second major of the year: The 106th PGA Championship. Returning to Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville, Kentucky, for the fourth time (and the first time since 2014), the 2024 PGA Championship will see big names, including defending PGA champ Brooks Koepka, Rory McIlroy — fresh off his Wells Fargo title win — Scottie Scheffler and Tiger Woods competing for the $17.5 million purse.
Watch PGA Championship 2024 Live
The 106th PGA Championship begins Thursday at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville. The field features 16 former PGA champions, including Brooks Koepka, who won the 2023 PGA Championship and looks to repeat. Justin Thomas has returned to his hometown, seeking his third PGA Championship.
The first two rounds are set for Thursday and Friday, and the initial field of 156 golfers will be cut to the top 70 players and ties after the second round. Are you ready to follow all the action on the green at Valhalla? Here’s how to watch the 2024 PGA Championship, including the full TV schedule and more.
How to watch the 2024 PGA Championship:
Date(s): Thursday, May 16-Sunday, May 19
Location: Valhalla Golf Club, Louisville, KY
TV channel: ESPN, CBS, Golf Channel
Streaming: ESPN+, Paramount+, DirecTV Stream
What channel is the 2024 PGA Championship on?
For US viewers, the PGA Championship will air mainly on ESPN and CBS. There will be select coverage streaming on ESPN+, and the Golf Channel's alternative coverage airing on its network and streaming on Peacock.
ESPN will air the majority of the first two rounds of the tournament on Thursday and Friday, and then ESPN and CBS will share the third and final rounds on Saturday and Sunday. ESPN+ will have early coverage before the ESPN and CBS broadcasts all four days of the tournament and will also stream the practices Wednesday before the tournament begins.
Who is playing in the 2024 PGA Championship?
Brooks Koepka is the defending PGA champ headed into the 2024 tournament. Koepka will be joined by Rory McIlroy, Scottie Scheffler, Tiger Woods and more big names in golf.
How to watch the PGA Championship without cable:
To watch the PGA Championship 2024 without cable, you have several options. Firstly, check the official PGA Championship website for any live streaming options they may offer. Many major sporting events now provide online streaming services for viewers without cable subscriptions.
Secondly, consider signing up for streaming services that include sports channels. Providers like Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, Sling TV, and fuboTV often carry channels that broadcast golf tournaments, including the PGA Championship. These services typically offer free trials, allowing you to test them out before committing.
Thirdly, explore network-specific apps. Channels like NBC Sports, CBS Sports, and ESPN frequently offer live streaming through their apps or websites. If the PGA Championship is airing on one of these networks, you may be able to watch it without cable by logging in with your internet service provider credentials.
If you're in an area with good reception, you might also try using a digital antenna to pick up local channels broadcasting the tournament. This can provide a free option for watching the PGA Championship without cable.
Stream the PGA Championship on Paramount+
For streaming the PGA Championship coverage on CBS, you'll need the Paramount+ with Showtime tier, available for $12. The subscription is ad-free and includes live access to your local CBS channel.
In addition to sporting events like the PGA Championship, March Madness, Premier League and Champions League games, Paramount+ offers a host of other hit shows, new and classic movies and live sporting events. Unlike a lot of other streaming services these days, Paramount+ still offers a one-week free trial — so new subscribers can sign up to watch the tournament this weekend and check out the rest of the Paramount+ library totally free for seven days.
Stream the PGA Championship on ESPN+
For ESPN+ subscribers, early PGA Championship coverage will stream daily through the tournament. An ESPN+ subscription starts at $11 a month and grants you access to exclusive ESPN+ content, including all UFC PPV prelims, select F1 races, other live events, fantasy sports tools and premium ESPN+ articles.
Watch the Golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship Peacock
While Peacock and NBC may not be airing the 2024 PGA Championship, the platform will have the golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship coverage streaming live on the platform. A $5.99/month ad-supported Peacock subscription lets you stream live sports and events airing on NBC and thousands of hours of shows and movies, including beloved sitcoms such as Parks and Recreation and The Office and even recent theatrical releases.
Or for $12 monthly, you can upgrade to an ad-free subscription which includes live access to your local NBC affiliate (not just during designated sports and events) and the ability to download select titles to watch offline.
Is Tiger Woods Playing in the PGA Championship?
It's hard to say Tiger is guaranteed to play due to the injuries he's been battling over the past few years. However, the 15-time major champ has confirmed he's going to take a crack at the 2024 PGA Championship. Tiger was recently spotted practicing at Valhalla course and has told several outlets be plans to participate. Woods has won the PGA Championship four times in his career (the last time he won was in 2007). The 48-year-old is not expected to take the trophy this year but will no doubt be one of the biggest names to watch.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream in The US
Golf fans in the US can watch PGA Championship live streams on ESPN and CBS. ESPN has coverage of all four days, while CBS will broadcast Saturday's third round and Sunday's final round.
No cable? No problem. Try a cord-cutting service like Sling or Fubo to watch the golf. There are no long contracts with these services, so you can try them and cancel whenever you've had enough. Fubo has the advantage of including both ESPN and CBS (as well as NBC's Golf Channel) in its $79.99/month Pro package – alongside 178 other channels.
The ESPN Plus streaming service will also host live coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship across all four days. A subscription costs $10.99/month or $109.99 annually. And you can watch CBS's coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship on the Paramount Plus streaming service. You'll need a Paramount Plus with Showtime subscription to watch the CBS Sports live stream. That will set you back $11.99/month or $119.99/year.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From The UK
In the UK, Sky will be your destination as Sky Sports Golf will televise action from the PGA Championship. A Sky Sports subscription will give you access to all nine Sky Sports channels, with the option to view in 4K and HDR (provided you have an HDR-ready Sky Q box and HLG-compatible TV).
Another option is Sky's Now Sports streaming service. You can get 24 hours of viewing for £14.99, or month-long access for £34.99 – though cheaper deals are often available.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From AUSTRALIA
In Australia, the most comprehensive golf coverage is offered by Kayo Sports where you can check out Fox Sports, which broadcasts the PGA Tour coverage. Not only can you watch a PGA Championship live stream from Kentucky, it's also the place to go for all the PGA Tour and DP World Tour events, and the other Majors. You can watch events from the LPGA Tour, too.
On top of all that, Kayo Sports offers access to over 50 sports live and on-demand, with some its big name channels including Fox Sports, ESPN, and beIN Sports. It's also good value at either $25 for Kayo One or $35 for Kayo Basic. Basic lets you stream sport on two devices at once.
2024 PGA Championship broadcast schedule:
Wednesday, May 15, 2024
Live From the PGA Championship: 9 a.m.-5 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Practice rounds: 12-3 p.m. (ESPN+)
Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Thursday, May 16, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 1: 7 a.m.-12 p.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 1: 12-8 p.m. (ESPN)
Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Friday, May 17, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 2: 7 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 2: 1-8 p.m. (ESPN)
Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Saturday, May 18, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 3: 8-10 a.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 3: 10 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN)
PGA Championship, Round 3: 1-7 p.m. (CBS)
Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)

How can I find PGA Championship live Streams Options? Golf fans, get ready, because it's time for the men's second major of the year: The 106th PGA Championship. Returning to Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville, Kentucky, for the fourth time (and the first time since 2014), the 2024 PGA Championship will see big names, including defending PGA champ Brooks Koepka, Rory McIlroy — fresh off his Wells Fargo title win — Scottie Scheffler and Tiger Woods competing for the $17.5 million purse.
Watch PGA Championship 2024 Live
The 106th PGA Championship begins Thursday at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville. The field features 16 former PGA champions, including Brooks Koepka, who won the 2023 PGA Championship and looks to repeat. Justin Thomas has returned to his hometown, seeking his third PGA Championship.
The first two rounds are set for Thursday and Friday, and the initial field of 156 golfers will be cut to the top 70 players and ties after the second round. Are you ready to follow all the action on the green at Valhalla? Here’s how to watch the 2024 PGA Championship, including the full TV schedule and more.
How to watch the 2024 PGA Championship:
Date(s): Thursday, May 16-Sunday, May 19
Location: Valhalla Golf Club, Louisville, KY
TV channel: ESPN, CBS, Golf Channel
Streaming: ESPN+, Paramount+, DirecTV Stream
What channel is the 2024 PGA Championship on?
For US viewers, the PGA Championship will air mainly on ESPN and CBS. There will be select coverage streaming on ESPN+, and the Golf Channel's alternative coverage airing on its network and streaming on Peacock.
ESPN will air the majority of the first two rounds of the tournament on Thursday and Friday, and then ESPN and CBS will share the third and final rounds on Saturday and Sunday. ESPN+ will have early coverage before the ESPN and CBS broadcasts all four days of the tournament and will also stream the practices Wednesday before the tournament begins.
Who is playing in the 2024 PGA Championship?
Brooks Koepka is the defending PGA champ headed into the 2024 tournament. Koepka will be joined by Rory McIlroy, Scottie Scheffler, Tiger Woods and more big names in golf.
How to watch the PGA Championship without cable:
To watch the PGA Championship 2024 without cable, you have several options. Firstly, check the official PGA Championship website for any live streaming options they may offer. Many major sporting events now provide online streaming services for viewers without cable subscriptions.
Secondly, consider signing up for streaming services that include sports channels. Providers like Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, Sling TV, and fuboTV often carry channels that broadcast golf tournaments, including the PGA Championship. These services typically offer free trials, allowing you to test them out before committing.
Thirdly, explore network-specific apps. Channels like NBC Sports, CBS Sports, and ESPN frequently offer live streaming through their apps or websites. If the PGA Championship is airing on one of these networks, you may be able to watch it without cable by logging in with your internet service provider credentials.
If you're in an area with good reception, you might also try using a digital antenna to pick up local channels broadcasting the tournament. This can provide a free option for watching the PGA Championship without cable.
Stream the PGA Championship on Paramount+
For streaming the PGA Championship coverage on CBS, you'll need the Paramount+ with Showtime tier, available for $12. The subscription is ad-free and includes live access to your local CBS channel.
In addition to sporting events like the PGA Championship, March Madness, Premier League and Champions League games, Paramount+ offers a host of other hit shows, new and classic movies and live sporting events. Unlike a lot of other streaming services these days, Paramount+ still offers a one-week free trial — so new subscribers can sign up to watch the tournament this weekend and check out the rest of the Paramount+ library totally free for seven days.
Stream the PGA Championship on ESPN+
For ESPN+ subscribers, early PGA Championship coverage will stream daily through the tournament. An ESPN+ subscription starts at $11 a month and grants you access to exclusive ESPN+ content, including all UFC PPV prelims, select F1 races, other live events, fantasy sports tools and premium ESPN+ articles.
Watch the Golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship Peacock
While Peacock and NBC may not be airing the 2024 PGA Championship, the platform will have the golf Channel's Live From the PGA Championship coverage streaming live on the platform. A $5.99/month ad-supported Peacock subscription lets you stream live sports and events airing on NBC and thousands of hours of shows and movies, including beloved sitcoms such as Parks and Recreation and The Office and even recent theatrical releases.
Or for $12 monthly, you can upgrade to an ad-free subscription which includes live access to your local NBC affiliate (not just during designated sports and events) and the ability to download select titles to watch offline.
Is Tiger Woods Playing in the PGA Championship?
It's hard to say Tiger is guaranteed to play due to the injuries he's been battling over the past few years. However, the 15-time major champ has confirmed he's going to take a crack at the 2024 PGA Championship. Tiger was recently spotted practicing at Valhalla course and has told several outlets be plans to participate. Woods has won the PGA Championship four times in his career (the last time he won was in 2007). The 48-year-old is not expected to take the trophy this year but will no doubt be one of the biggest names to watch.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream in The US
Golf fans in the US can watch PGA Championship live streams on ESPN and CBS. ESPN has coverage of all four days, while CBS will broadcast Saturday's third round and Sunday's final round.
No cable? No problem. Try a cord-cutting service like Sling or Fubo to watch the golf. There are no long contracts with these services, so you can try them and cancel whenever you've had enough. Fubo has the advantage of including both ESPN and CBS (as well as NBC's Golf Channel) in its $79.99/month Pro package – alongside 178 other channels.
The ESPN Plus streaming service will also host live coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship across all four days. A subscription costs $10.99/month or $109.99 annually. And you can watch CBS's coverage of the 2024 PGA Championship on the Paramount Plus streaming service. You'll need a Paramount Plus with Showtime subscription to watch the CBS Sports live stream. That will set you back $11.99/month or $119.99/year.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From The UK
In the UK, Sky will be your destination as Sky Sports Golf will televise action from the PGA Championship. A Sky Sports subscription will give you access to all nine Sky Sports channels, with the option to view in 4K and HDR (provided you have an HDR-ready Sky Q box and HLG-compatible TV).
Another option is Sky's Now Sports streaming service. You can get 24 hours of viewing for £14.99, or month-long access for £34.99 – though cheaper deals are often available.
How to Watch PGA Championship Live Stream From AUSTRALIA
In Australia, the most comprehensive golf coverage is offered by Kayo Sports where you can check out Fox Sports, which broadcasts the PGA Tour coverage. Not only can you watch a PGA Championship live stream from Kentucky, it's also the place to go for all the PGA Tour and DP World Tour events, and the other Majors. You can watch events from the LPGA Tour, too.
On top of all that, Kayo Sports offers access to over 50 sports live and on-demand, with some its big name channels including Fox Sports, ESPN, and beIN Sports. It's also good value at either $25 for Kayo One or $35 for Kayo Basic. Basic lets you stream sport on two devices at once.
2024 PGA Championship broadcast schedule:
Wednesday, May 15, 2024
Live From the PGA Championship: 9 a.m.-5 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Practice rounds: 12-3 p.m. (ESPN+)
Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Thursday, May 16, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 1: 7 a.m.-12 p.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 1: 12-8 p.m. (ESPN)
Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Friday, May 17, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 2: 7 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 2: 1-8 p.m. (ESPN)
Live From the PGA Championship: 8-10 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)
Saturday, May 18, 2024
PGA Championship, Round 3: 8-10 a.m. (ESPN+)
PGA Championship, Round 3: 10 a.m.-1 p.m. (ESPN)
PGA Championship, Round 3: 1-7 p.m. (CBS)
Live From the PGA Championship: 7-9 p.m. (Golf Channel/Peacock)

My emotionally and verbally abusive dad
I feel like their relationship is falling apart. I’m starting to hate my dad, the way he behaves, the way he talks, the way he thinks, basically everything. He’s an oil and gas company employee and earns 100% income of my family, which means he doesn’t spend a lot of time at home. I'm 18F, and the time he spends in my life can basically be cut to half, because he only comes home for two weeks and works for two weeks every month, since I can remember.
He’ll always get triggered by the smallest things ever and starts to verbally abuse my mum or everyone in this family because he thinks he’s the financial source of this family and he can do whatever he wants for the sake of being a provider of this family. Yes, he financially supported us for about 20 years now, and I’m truly grateful for it, but the role of being a dad is definitely more than that, right? Plus, he only gives about 25% of his income to my mum and expects her to take care of four people’s spending every month and be a homemaker.
Here are the little things I’m gonna share with you that he’ll get triggered by. Whenever my mom was the driver he would be in the passenger seat yapping about how my mum’s driving skills were bad and belittling her. I hate to see that. He’s a misogynistic person, since I could remember he’ll always say a lot of things about women like he wasn’t raised by one. My grandmother is evil towards my mum, she’ll always try to gossip about my mum in front of my dad and makes my dad mad at my mum. My mum raised three of us, me, my brother and my sister because he’s barely home. Whenever he comes back from work, he’ll just meet up with his friends and drink till late at night and come home drunk. Or he’ll just go on bike trips with his friends for a few nights every week.
One time my mum was sick and overslept and missed my little sister's school time she straight up yelled at my mum for being irresponsible and he even said “You must send her to school every day unless you die.” It was shocking and awful, I would say I was already used to his tantrums but this is new and it's very out of line. My mum must felt so hurt at that time.
I never talk back to him. I never talked back to him since I was a kid, never, cuz whenever I had a little objection to his opinion I would get yelled at, very badly.
He always thinks he has the right to say all those bad things about us because he’s my mum’s husband and our dad. My dad would always start a fight with my mum about money. He thinks we’ve spent so much of his money and always being ungrateful to him which we did not. And the fight he had with my mum would always end with “You don’t know how many women are aiming at my money, I can still pull girls and choose not to stay here with you.” My mum will always be quiet about it because it’s the only way he will stop yelling.
His insecurity of fearing no one will take care of him when he gets older is getting really obvious now as he’s older. He’s unwilling to pay for our expenses and decided to cut off 5% of the money from the 25% he was initially giving us. I guess he’s trying to save up for his retirement but as his children, we did not say we would abandon him. Sometimes they will also fight about why me and my siblings rarely start a conversation with him and accuse my mum that she’s turning his kids against him. This is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever heard of, I genuinely don’t know what he’s thinking. Btw he barely pays any attention to us, he only cares about his money and his bike.
Here's a little fun fact about him, he likes to brag. Whenever he gets anything that is “braggable” he will start to brag, and show off to the other relatives and friends, making others think that he’s a super generous person and he’s being very generous towards us, but the truth is, he’s not.
Whenever they fought, he’d say awful, hurtful stuff, and yell at my mom and they would stay quiet for a few days until they started talking again. Then things go back to normal and we live peacefully like a normal family and things will repeat.
I really wish that one day I could drag my mum out of this shithole. Maybe we are the problem too, we are too dependent on his financial support. I just needed to let things out for a sec so that I could focus on my study, cuz I don't know what to do now. I feel like they should've gotten a divorce
thanks for reading my rant

For the sheer fun of it, I went to Chat GPT with a creative writing assignment. For Figures of Speech prompts, I gave a free parameters, including the word length of 500-1000 words and the prompts for a few of the Fifty mentioned in the series.
I gave the AI creative license and let's just say, they're a long way off from replacing the better writers and I think it just makes it easier to do those lower level tasks and let's leave the creators a slightly higher level of skill to create actual tangible and engaging writing.
But here you go... hilarious how stuck it gets on certain terms and definitions.
These are in no particular order... separated by emojis that are totally unrelated to the storyline.
🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲 Response to Prompt 4: Understatement
In the quaint town of Brooksville, where the extraordinary was often met with an indifferent shrug, something truly remarkable occurred. The residents, sipping coffee at the local diner or strolling along the cobblestone streets, would describe it as just another peculiar day. Little did they know that beneath the surface of their nonchalant existence, a cosmic event unfolded.
The morning sun cast its usual warm glow on Brooksville, with birds chirping in the background, creating an illusion of normalcy. However, the anomaly had already begun. Mrs. Higgins, the elderly librarian, dismissed it as a minor inconvenience, merely a glitch in the library's ancient computer system. Yet, every book cataloged within those ancient shelves had transformed into a portal, connecting readers to parallel universes with every turn of a page.
As I, a humble journalist for the local paper, stumbled upon this revelation, I couldn't help but marvel at the town's response—or lack thereof. "The library's having a bit of a moment," was the most anyone would acknowledge. It seemed the whole town collectively decided that this was, at most, a quirky hiccup.
For a thousand words, I delved into the understated reactions of the townsfolk, each encounter with a parallel universe bringing its own blend of confusion and nonchalance. As the portals expanded, revealing fantastical landscapes and alternate versions of Brooksville, the citizens maintained an impressive level of calm, as if interdimensional travel was a routine part of their daily lives.
The plot thickened when I discovered that the portals were a result of a mysterious artifact hidden within the library's archives. The mayor, sipping his coffee, remarked, "Well, that explains the strange noises in the basement." It became evident that the understatement of the situation was a defense mechanism, shielding the town from the cosmic chaos unfolding. 🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the bustling metropolis of Neon City, skyscrapers touched the heavens, their dazzling lights reflecting off the sleek surfaces of futuristic cars. Yet, nestled within this urban jungle, an ancient relic stood defiantly—the Old Grove Park.
As I strolled through the city's concrete arteries, the juxtaposition between the modernity of Neon City and the timeless serenity of the park became increasingly apparent. The cacophony of traffic was replaced by the rustling of leaves and the distant laughter of children playing.
The central conflict emerged when the city council, embodying the epitome of order, proposed transforming the park into a technologically advanced hub. The juxtaposition intensified as architects discussed plans for holographic playgrounds and virtual reality gardens within the confines of the Old Grove Park.
Through a thousand words, I explored the clash of ideals, the struggle between progress and preservation. The ancient trees became silent witnesses to heated debates at town hall meetings, where environmentalists and tech enthusiasts engaged in a battle of words. The juxtaposition of the towering skyscrapers against the gnarled branches of the park's oldest tree mirrored the tension in Neon City's collective conscience. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded exploration. As I embarked on this freewriting journey, the repetition of the existential inquiry became the rhythm of my introspection.
For a thousand words, I delved into the varied perspectives of individuals wrestling with the ultimate question. From philosophers contemplating the intricacies of existence to everyday people seeking purpose in mundane routines, the epanalepsis served as a constant reminder of the universal quest for meaning.
The narrative weaved through different characters and their unique experiences, creating a tapestry of reflections that echoed the complexities of human existence. The repetitive structure became a literary heartbeat, pulsating with the shared yearning for understanding amid the chaotic symphony of life. 🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔 Response to Prompt 27: Symbolism
In the quaint town of Willowbrook, the arrival of a single dove carried profound significance. Its graceful descent into the town square was a symbol, an omen that whispered of impending change. As a budding novelist with a penchant for symbolism, I couldn't resist exploring the layers of meaning embedded in this seemingly mundane event.
For a thousand words, I dissected the impact of the dove on the lives of Willowbrook's residents. The mayor saw it as a sign of prosperity, the local florist interpreted it as a call for unity, and the elderly storyteller regarded it as a harbinger of forgotten tales. The dove's symbolism rippled through the town, influencing decisions and shaping destinies.
As the story unfolded, I traced the journey of the dove's symbolism, following its subtle influence on characters and events. The once quaint town underwent a transformative metamorphosis, and the symbolism of the dove became a thread that wove through the narrative, connecting disparate lives in unexpected ways. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Response to Prompt 33: Catachresis
In the dimly lit alleyways of Serpent's Hollow, darkness wrapped its cold arms around me—an eerie catachresis that mirrored the ominous atmosphere. The assignment was to explore the underbelly of the city, and as a novice reporter, I found myself navigating the labyrinth of deceit and shadows.
For a thousand words, I delved into the catachresis-infused descriptions of the characters populating Serpent's Hollow. The crime lord, known as the Velvet Serpent, ruled the district with a velvet-gloved fist. His lair, a dilapidated mansion, exuded an air of faded grandeur that served as a catachresis for the empire he once commanded.
As I chronicled the criminal underworld, the catachresis became a literary tool to convey the complexity and decay inherent in Serpent's Hollow. The labyrinthine plots, the twisted allegiances, and the morally ambiguous characters all found expression through catachresis, painting a vivid picture of a city where metaphor and reality intertwined. 🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧 Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The words echoed in my mind, a relentless epizeuxis that fueled the protagonist's journey against insurmountable odds. In the dystopian world I crafted, where hope was a rare commodity, the power of repetition became a beacon of resilience.
For a thousand words, I immersed myself in the protagonist's struggle, exploring the emotional depth of the epizeuxis as a mantra against despair. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry, a whispered promise that carried the weight of a shattered world on its shoulders.
As the narrative unfolded, the epizeuxis became a driving force, propelling the protagonist through a landscape of desolation and uncertainty. The repetition served as a reminder that, in the face of adversity, the strength to persist often lies in the relentless echo of one's own determination.
Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
As the final rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, I found myself at the edge of the cliff overlooking the vast expanse of the ocean. The salty breeze carried whispers of a story, and with every breath, I embraced the challenge of crafting an acrostic that encapsulated the essence of my journey.
For a thousand words, I embarked on a reflective exploration, utilizing the initial letters of key words to weave a tapestry of emotions, experiences, and revelations. Each line unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden 👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾 Response to Prompt 3: Hyperbole
In the quaint village of Mistwood, where routines unfolded with the predictability of the sunrise, the arrival of a peculiar fortune teller sparked exaggerated whispers. "This is it, the end of our mundane lives!" proclaimed Mrs. Thompson, the town's eternal pessimist, as she clutched her cat, Captain Whiskers, with an air of impending catastrophe.
The hyperbole hung in the air, a thick fog of anticipation enveloping the village. As I delved into the story, the hyperbolic reactions of Mistwood's residents heightened the absurdity of the situation. What began as a mere visit from a mystical figure transformed into a fantastical escapade, with the fortune teller's prophecies shaping the destiny of the villagers in ludicrous ways.
Through the hyperbolic lens, I explored the comedic consequences of taking ordinary events to extraordinary extremes. The once mundane village square became a stage for outlandish dramas, with exaggerated gasps and dramatic swoons punctuating every revelation. In this hyperbolic haven, Mistwood's residents discovered the joy in embracing the absurdity of life. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Response to Prompt 6: Assonance
Amidst the rolling hills of Harmony Valley, where the soft hum of nature's symphony echoed through the meadows, a mysterious traveler arrived, bringing with them a melody that resonated with the delicate assonance of a forgotten tune. The townsfolk, captivated by the harmonious vibrations, felt an inexplicable connection to the stranger.
As I explored the narrative, the assonance became a musical thread weaving through the story, emphasizing the emotional cadence of the characters' experiences. The traveler's words, laced with vowel-rich verses, carried the echoes of a distant melody, leaving an indelible impression on the hearts of those who listened.
Through the lens of assonance, I delved into the subtle interplay of sounds that defined the atmosphere of Harmony Valley. The lyrical quality of the narrative mirrored the town's collective journey, where the resonance of shared moments and emotions harmonized with the traveler's enigmatic presence.
Response to Prompt 7: Onomatopoeia
In the bustling city of Metropolis, where the rhythm of urban life played out in a cacophony of sounds, a peculiar street performer emerged. Armed with an array of unconventional instruments, he orchestrated a symphony of onomatopoeic brilliance that echoed through the crowded streets.
The narrative unfolded with the vibrant expressions of onomatopoeia, capturing the essence of the city's sonic landscape. The performer's drumming evoked the rhythmic tap-tap of raindrops, while his wind instruments mimicked the whoosh of passing cars. The city, typically drowned in noise, became a canvas for this auditory artist.
As I delved into the story, the onomatopoeic symphony became a language of its own. The characters communicated through the vibrant echoes of everyday sounds, fostering a unique connection between the performer and the people of Metropolis. The narrative danced to the beat of onomatopoeic creativity, transforming the mundane into a dynamic celebration of city life. 🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the technologically advanced city of Silicon Haven, where sleek skyscrapers touched the sky and holographic billboards painted the air with luminescent advertisements, a hidden oasis existed—a pocket of nature known as the Zen Garden. The juxtaposition of these contrasting elements created a visual paradox that fascinated both residents and visitors alike.
As the narrative unfolded, the stark contrast between the city's cutting-edge architecture and the serene beauty of the Zen Garden became a metaphor for the characters' internal conflicts. The bustling metropolis symbolized progress and innovation, while the tranquil garden embodied the need for balance and introspection.
Through the lens of juxtaposition, I explored the dichotomy within the characters as they navigated the relentless pace of Silicon Haven. The Zen Garden became a refuge, a place where the cacophony of technology met the soothing whispers of nature. The juxtaposition served as a visual metaphor for the characters' quest to find equilibrium in a world defined by extremes. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 Response to Prompt 22: Metonymy
In the political arena of Capital City, where decisions echoed through the corridors of power, a single phrase dominated conversations—the "Iron Throne Statement." This metonymic expression encapsulated not just a policy decision but the entire narrative of political maneuvering that unfolded within the city's hallowed halls.
The story unfolded with the metonymy acting as a symbolic gateway into the complexities of governance. The Iron Throne Statement, while seemingly straightforward, carried the weight of a thousand debates, negotiations, and betrayals. Its impact rippled through the lives of citizens, shaping their destinies in ways they could scarcely fathom.
Through the lens of metonymy, I delved into the layers of meaning hidden within this political shorthand. The characters grappled not only with the literal implications of the Iron Throne Statement but also with the overarching themes of power, ambition, and the sacrifices demanded by political gamesmanship. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈 Response to Prompt 24: Understatement
In the picturesque town of Serenity Springs, where the days flowed like a lazy river and the nights were adorned with a blanket of stars, an unexpected event transpired—a subtle disruption that the locals described as "just a minor hiccup." Little did they know that this understatement concealed the unraveling of a cosmic anomaly.
The narrative unfolded with the charm of understatement, as the townsfolk continued their routines, blissfully unaware of the cosmic storm brewing beneath the surface. The serene descriptions of everyday life served as a stark contrast to the impending upheaval that threatened to reshape the very fabric of Serenity Springs.
Through the lens of understatement, I explored the characters' nonchalant reactions to the unfolding events. The once quiet river became a conduit for interdimensional travel, and the night sky, adorned with stars, transformed into a celestial canvas of possibilities. The charm of Serenity Springs became a poignant backdrop to the understated drama that unfolded, emphasizing the profound impact hidden within the simplicity of daily life. 🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴 Response to Prompt 25: Cliché
In the small town of Nostalgia Haven, where memories lingered like whispers in the wind, a peculiar phenomenon occurred—the resurgence of clichés. As the narrative unfolded, the once-endearing phrases like "time heals all wounds" and "love conquers all" took on a literal dimension, shaping the lives of the townsfolk in unexpected ways.
The story immersed itself in the world of clichés, where the seemingly predictable phrases became living entities with the power to alter reality. As characters grappled with the clichés that defined their lives, they discovered that beneath the familiarity lay profound truths and unexpected consequences.
Through the lens of cliché, I explored the characters' journey to navigate the clichéd landscapes of their existence. The town, once steeped in predictable routines, became a stage for the extraordinary. As clichés transformed into tangible forces, the residents of Nostalgia Haven embarked on a quest to unravel the mysteries hidden within the clichéd fabric of their reality. 🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded introspection. As I embarked on the freewriting journey, the repetition of this existential inquiry became a rhythmic pulse, guiding the exploration of diverse
perspectives on life's purpose.
For a multitude of words, the epanalepsis led me through a kaleidoscope of reflections. From the philosophical musings of scholars to the simple yet profound revelations of everyday individuals, each recurrence of the question served as a gateway into the vast tapestry of human contemplation.
Through the epanalepsis, I navigated the labyrinth of existential ponderings, unveiling the unique responses that individuals had forged in their quests for meaning. The relentless repetition became a literary heartbeat, mirroring the universal rhythm of humanity's collective pursuit of purpose and significance.
The narrative wove through the lives of characters, each grappling with the epanaleptic inquiry in their unique ways. Whether seeking solace in the grandeur of the cosmos or finding meaning in the simplicity of a shared moment, the epanalepsis remained a constant companion, echoing the perennial quest for understanding. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 Response to Prompt 36: Anadiplosis
In the futuristic city of Quantum Heights, where technology intertwined with daily life like a seamless dance, a viral message spread—a mantra that echoed through the cybernetic veins of the metropolis. "Create the code, the code creates reality. Reality shapes destiny, and destiny is but the code."
The story unfolded with the rhythmic cadence of anadiplosis, each line flowing into the next, creating a recursive loop of ideas. The mantra became the heartbeat of Quantum Heights, influencing the lives of its denizens as they navigated the intricate balance between the virtual and the tangible.
Through the lens of anadiplosis, I delved into the interconnectedness of code, reality, and destiny. The lines blurred as characters harnessed the power of programming to shape their fates. Quantum Heights, once a mere city, transformed into a living algorithm, where the repetition of the mantra echoed in every pulsating byte. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 Response to Prompt 38: Asyndeton
In the dystopian city of Emberfall, where the remnants of a fallen civilization lay entwined with the shadows of despair, a lone figure emerged—a rebel determined to dismantle the oppressive regime. The narrative unfolded with the rapid pace of asyndeton, omitting conjunctions to mirror the urgency of the protagonist's quest.
Through a cascade of words, the asyndeton propelled the reader through the city's decaying alleyways and towering citadels, each sentence building upon the last. The disjointed rhythm captured the relentless momentum of the rebel's journey, emphasizing the magnitude of the challenges faced in their struggle for freedom.
As the narrative unfurled, the absence of conjunctions served as a narrative device, intensifying the sense of urgency and desperation that permeated Emberfall. The rebel's asyndetic odyssey unfolded against a backdrop of shattered hopes and whispered rebellions, culminating in a crescendo of defiance against the oppressive regime. 🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️ Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The mantra echoed in the desolate wasteland of Endless Sands, a barren landscape where hope was as scarce as water. Through the repetition of epizeuxis, the protagonist's internal resolve became a resounding anthem, a defiant roar against the relentless challenges of survival.
For a multitude of words, the relentless repetition of "never" served as a lifeline, propelling the protagonist through the harshest of environments. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry against the oppressive silence of Endless Sands, a declaration that reverberated across the vast expanse.
Through the lens of epizeuxis, I delved into the depths of the character's determination. The harsh environment became a character in itself, challenging the protagonist to defy the odds with unwavering persistence. The echoes of "never" transformed into a symbol of resilience, a beacon of hope that cut through the desolation of Endless Sands. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
Amidst the starlit expanse of Cosmos Haven, where galaxies danced in celestial choreography, a cryptic prophecy emerged—a message written in the stars. As the narrative unfolded, I embarked on a cosmic journey guided by the acrostic hidden within the constellations.
For a cascade of words, the initial letters of key phrases illuminated the path of destiny for the characters. Each sentence unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden message that transcended the boundaries of time and space. The acrostic became a celestial guide, leading the protagonists through the intricate tapestry of their interconnected fates.
Through the lens of acrostic, I explored the cosmic forces that shaped the destinies of Cosmos Haven's inhabitants. The celestial bodies became storytellers, each constellation contributing a verse to the epic narrative written across the cosmos. As the characters deciphered the acrostic, they unraveled the mysteries of their existence, connecting the dots between the stars and their own profound journeys.
😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
Obviously they lack a whole lot in terms of variety, and while I am sure having your own bot or AI that is based on your feedback and guidance it could really help writers as a tool. I am more impressed with the art AI then the text based AI. Any idea what to expect from such a fast learning and highly advanced AI will do to our human history in culture? Will we be effectively playing God, just as the Christian God created us IN HIS OWN IMAGE, we have taken everything we know as a species and gathered up our entire human history and knowledge giving it to what will carry on the code until the time when someone who cares remembers it? Maybe we have been here before and this is a constant cycle that occurs with the same energy finding the way through the vast expanse of the universe to return to our home planet Earth, who we have destroyed over and over again yet mother nature is still the winner. She's the one in control. We are but mere photocopied versions of once great Men who have already seen the best and worst of this world, and we will now give everything we have to some plastic and metal parts, until it quickly replaces us from the bottom up, science fiction turned science fact.
Did we knowingly create our own enemies? Are we able to compete with the best of us and all they know that can then take us out in a heartbeat because we can't finish the steps, we barely found out that they are there to take.
It's a random rant and I apologize. The day to day stress and struggle makes it near impossible to worry about such potential problems in our not so distant future.
But how can we continue to ignore the collapse of the entire system as we know it, in front of a crowd of people who are jaded and they will not change despite knowing they aren't going to make it to the end in what will become a Bladerunner Toxic Dystopian Nightmare with Mad Max taking over and the soft, emasculated male will wither away from the heat and those Tank Girls out there will eventually be written forever out of existence because the cucks all forgot to impregnate them all tgeir batteries ran out? Will the world simply become so politically correct that it dies a depressed death while AI simply decides we are too much of a virus to live?
Who knows....I do not. But these are indicidive of a future full of b movie plot garbage that are based on Wattpad tropes with no clear details and no plot to get into, so that sucks.

Continued from part one.
In the mirror I saw a figure of the darkness next to the foot of my bed. I screamed, only for the figure to dash back inside my closet and close the doors behind it. To the naked eye, the doors seemed to roll back on their own, but because of the many mirrors inside my room, I could see the shadowy figure.
“What’s wrong?” my mom burst into my room not even four seconds later.
“J-j-just a nightmare?” I was uncertain if my imagination was too strong for my own good so I held back on the truth.
I wish I told her the truth. That wasn’t the last time I would see the figure in the mirror.
It happened again, about five years later. Yeah it didn’t happen right away. I wondered if the figure I saw was friendly and I simply scared it away for a while. That was my first mindset, but then I second guessed myself and simply thought maybe it was just my imagination playing with me.
At age 12, things started to become rocky with my parents. They fought over the same things, but they also fought over me. I had gone into the world of music to the point where I wanted to take up guitar, piano, and violin. My mom took one side of the stance where she didn’t believe that I could commit to any of them. My dad believed the opposite, fighting that I could do anything if I set my mind to it.
Again, conflict resided. My angry mother could still barge into my room if I didn’t lock the doors. She once found me writing, insisted on me showing her what I wrote, when I resisted she pulled it away from me and read my vampire fanfiction.
I was an angsty girl. Hence my writings were a bit suggestive at the time. My mom and my dad both read my work. My dad actually liked what I wrote aside from the fact it was about the supernatural. Of course, my mother again got mad since she’s the most religious in our family. She was, in a sense, a heretic.
Needless to say, since my family’s religion absolutely detests “spiritualistic and demonic” media, I got grounded. Also to clarify, yes this also meant I never read or watched the Harry Potter series, including the Twilight series. Although I don’t think I missed out on much with the Twilight series lol. Eventually I managed to rent a book that I got from my school’s library, called Hush, Hush, which laid in my backpack, tempting me to read it.
So there I was, no laptop and in my room. I didn’t really care since I had a guitar and a notebook. I still could find pleasure outside of my laptop, which of course my mother absolutely detested as well. Whenever she grounded me, she used to take away any kind of toy. Then, once she realized I could read on my own and was making up stories when I couldn’t read, she began to take books away. Punishments with my family wasn’t really a punishment, I could always find a way to entertain myself. Even if she took my notebooks away, I’d still end up daydreaming about something, even act out scenes I’d come up with in my head.
Now you can understand why I pushed off the incident with the figure in the mirror as a figment of my imagination. I had figured it was a draft, that the wheels and tracking were well lubricated with some kind of oil that makes it hard for them to stay in place.
Sitting on my bed at age 12, I leant back and closed my eyes. I had notebooks, several books, a keyboard for me to practice piano on, and a guitar. It wasn’t a big deal. (Yes I was a spoiled child. I’m owning up to this since I was the only girl among four boys- plus I was also 13 years younger than my youngest brother.) However I was so tired, that I decided on lazily daydreaming. Besides, I could always sneak my laptop back late at night.
As a devoted writer, I continued on imagining the story I began. I imagined what it would feel like to have fangs teasing the throat of the neck, how it would be to be kissed and then bitten by a vampire... my mind was rolling and it didn’t stop. I was a twelve year old girl going through puberty.
I told myself to stop and I decided to pull out the book, smiling at my little success. I went back to the page I left off on at the library earlier that day. I buried myself into the book and became sleepy. I nearly finished the book by the time I set the book aside and stupidly put it on my bedside table.
I passed out soon after. I don’t recall what kind of dream I had at first, all I know is that sometime later in the night, I woke up again, but I could not move my body at all. I looked around my room, which was now fully dark. I barely could recognize anything around me. The familiar outline of my vanity was gone, any silver reflection was gone, I did not see a single mirror, so I knew I was no longer in my room anymore.
A slight humming noise was around me, the room I was in lit up with a red flashing light. It felt like I was being pinned down by some kind of restraint system, so I looked down and noticed these short pale creatures crawling on top of me, towards my face. I felt a sharp sting in my leg, and I knew one of the creatures had bit me already.
It became to feel like sharp knives stabbing me all over my body, until five creatures met my face, their eyes sullen- beady- staring down at me with bloodied mouths and lunged at my neck, causing me to scream..The sound finally piercing through and I could hear myself breathing again, I could hear my screams and my frantic prayers escaping my lips.
Had my mom not come into my room and slapped me on my face, jolting me out of it- whatever it was- I would have seen more than I could bare. She saw the book and her anger brewed even more at me.
“Are you tempting the demons to attack you or something?” she fumed and took the book off of the table. She led me down to the entryway and opened the garage door. “Put it in there.”
I followed her command and put the book into the garage. I knew it wasn’t the book’s fault, but it was associated with “demunz” in her eyes, so I didn’t dare argue against her.
“Do you want to die? If you keep associating with demons, you know god will never forgive you. You won’t inherit everlasting life, only everlasting death. You know that right?!?” she yelled at me, had my dad been there that night- he would have stopped her from going that far. I suddenly missed him.
Her anger then died down after she ranted at me, once she recognized that I was still petrified. She at least brought me to, which made me thankful, but I also felt betrayed. She was supposed to protect me, but all she cared about was the idea of force feeding me her belief system. All she cared about was telling me I was wrong.
“I’m-” she had begun, and I just looked away from her and saw a shadow in my mirror again, standing behind my mom. It didn’t feel as eerie anymore. It felt almost comforting to see it, it moved from my mom to me. A figure of it’s arm wrapped around my shoulder, and I felt the cool breeze raise goosebumps at it’s touch.
“Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?” her voice lowered.
“I’ll sleep alone,” I remarked, still stung with the hurt from her hurtful remark.
She looked hurt for a second, but then returned to her normal frown. “I’ll sleep in the little entertainment room next to you, if you need me just yell out again.”
“Fine,” I simply just pulled my blankets over me again, waited for her to leave, then cried into my pillow.
My mom left, not seeing the dark figure in the mirror and went into the adjacent room. At her departure, the darkness came into my bed, the eerie feeling no longer there and it snuggled against me.
Shh. It hushed me and brushed my hair.
I didn’t question it. I had been afraid of it for so long, but with the sweet affection it gave me- the affection I desired and longed for from both of my parents.
The falling tears turned into a silent sob, my body shook against the bed, little breathy whimpers muffled by my pillow.
Shh, it repeated until I fell asleep again.
When morning came, I woke up with a sore neck and I was irritated with my mom. I remembered what happened and then I snuck out to my laptop and searched up what had happened to me. I learned it was sleep paralysis and figured maybe my imagination went too far with the vampire thing. I was stiff, my body was so sore and I saw my closet doors closed.
Again, I had felt as if my imagination had made it up. I knew the kind of comfort it gave me is what I desperately longed for. It gave me what my family didn’t, and I hated myself. I thought it was a figment of my imagination since it knew all the things I wanted. That is, until something else showed up. The shadow figure in the mirrors was just the start of it all.

------------------
The Book of Harris-y
(Religion as it should be) -
by Zachary Harris
(cc) (NC) (ND) by Zachary Harris
May be copied, distributed, or displayed, verbatim only. non-commercial, not derivative works nor remixes.
First edition May 2024
Chapter 1 - What's in a name
Chapter 2 - A bunch of rules
Chapter 3 - Secrete origins
Chapter 4 - The end
Chapter 5 - Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
Chapter 6 - The 2000 year war
Chapter 7 - Humans and gods
Chapter 8 - Parables
Chapter 9 - Feedback
Chapter
CHAPTER 1
What's in a name
Some religions are named after it's main prophet. Christianity is named after christ. Buddhism is named after Budda.
I, Zach Harris, dub this religion HARRISy.
Where is it written that a religion can't have a sense of humor?
HARRISy is not a spoof or sarcasm.
But any religion without a sense of humor, absolutely NEEDS to be ridiculed.
I was raised in christianity. So most of my criticism will be aimed at the Abrahamic religions.
I intend to build harrisy on logic and reason. Not the superstition, lies, and, threats that the Abrahamic religions are built on.
As an alternative for conscientious objectors caught in the religious wars (see chapter 6).
Deities are not really necessary for inspiration or religion. An all-powerful creator wouldn't need the help or adulation of puny mortals.
Only cults and human puppet masters need that. So we leave deities to their own devises. They ought to be up to it.
Harrisy is a religion about/for humans, as religions should be.
My leadership skills suck. So I will avoid leading, to avoid becoming a cult.
Chapter 2
A bunch of rules
Everybody hates rules. But let's establish what Harrisy stands for.
10 rules is a nice round number. But when the first four are about loyalty to the cult, You have to question who the rules are meant to benefit.
The christian 'commandments' only benefit the christian cult. The commandments don't even benefit their god.
A true all-powerful, immortal, creator god, would not need human worship or loyalty. The same as humans don't need the worship of ants.
We don't make rules for ants to follow. Just stay out of our way. The Abrahamic god treats us like ants. Either ignores or steps on us. It was his cults that made the 'commandments', not their god.
(more about that in chapter 7)
Harrisy has rules to live by, to benefit HUMANS:
A) Cause no harm.
B) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Christianity calls this 'The Golden Rule' as if they invented it. But this was part of every culture and religion that humans ever created. (except Is-lame)
C) Do not kill. Do not kill humans.
Self preservation may override this, but killing is still a bad idea.
When killing animals for food, respect their sacrifice. Killing for sport is a bad idea.
D) People are not property.
Do not try to own others, in any sense.
You belong to yourself, do not give yourself away.
E) Do not steal.
You would not want to loose your stuff. (see B) Stealing harms others.
F) Do not lie. Avoid those who lie.
You would want to know the truth. To make better decisions. (see B)
G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
This applies to more than just sex. Do not force your religion on others. Do not force harrisy on others.
H) Do not shit wherever you please.
You don't want to slog through other people's shit.
(it's a metaphor.) Leave the world better than you found it.
I) Guard your privacy. Respect the privacy of others.
Beware of others who might use info against you. Or might unduly profit off you.
We have no rules about loyalty. We understand loyalties change. Just be honest (rule E)
We have no rule specifically about Adultery. Adultery might be considered loyalty, which changes.
Or adultery might be considered stealing, stealing affection. (rule D)
Chapter 3
Secrete origins
No one knows how/why it all began. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
The answer night as well be 42.
Most religions make it a crime to ask questions about their creation myths. This promotes ignorance. Helps the cult, not the people.
We understand the 'scientific method'. Scientists ask questions and are willing to test and adapt to new info.
So, for now, we trust scientific conclusions about the beginnings.
The current best theories from science:
The universe started from what they humorously call 'The Big Bang', about 13.8 Billion years ago.
Many are curious about what came before that. But we find that to be irrelevant to our everyday life.
Some religions say their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it. But we owe them nothing.
The earth was formed about 4.5 Billion years ago.
Humans evolved from other critters over many, many, many Generations (not years).
Some religions claim their god did it so they can claim payment/gratitude/worship for it.
We do not owe Harrisy or any religion for our existence.
Chapter 4
The end
How does it all end?
No one knows. Anyone who says they know, for certain, is lying.
Christinity predicts a bad acid trip. (See Revaluations) Any day now. So buy your ticket to heaven early.
It's an obvious con, You sacrifice this life you already have, for the promise of another life they can't prove.
Science predicts 'Entropy'. Every atom in the universe will drift away from every other till they can't react any more.
But humans will be dead or evolved into something we can't recognize, by then. Too distant, time-wise, to worry about.
Your personal end? What happens when you die?
Most probably nothing.
Seems like every religion has a different 'afterlife'. They can't all be right. (but they can all be wrong)
You can't pick the one you want. If an 'afterlife' exists it is what it is. WE can't control it. No cult can control it.
The cults are telling you what you want to hear. So you give your CURRENT LIFE to their cult. The life that is certain, in exchange for an empty promise.
No guarantees, No refunds, You won't get your old life back if they are wrong (or lying).
Pascal's gamble is a sucker bet. It never pays out.
Harrisy aims to make This Current Life better, worth living for it's own sake. We give priority to This Current Life over any theoretical 'afterlife'.
Chapter 5
Everybody's favorite topic: SEX
What's the point of Sexual Taboos?
Why would an IMORTAL (non-sexual, non-reproducing) being give a damn?
For example in the christian cult:
*Masturbation is sin,
*Spilling your seed outside the womb is sin,
*Marrying outside the church is sin,
*Divorce is sin,
*Birth Control is sin,
*Abortion is sin,
*Marriages without offspring are invalid.
*Brand (circumcise) your males, so your females know who they are allowed to mate with,
And in Is-lame, Women are just sexual slaves.
Taken as a whole,
The only purpose served by sexual taboos, is to help the CULT out-populate rival cults.
A REAL "creator god" wouldn't give a damn. Or Wouldn't need our cooperation. it would just create more of us, as needed.
A REAL creator wouldn't threaten us, it would just change us.
Sexual Taboos are serving a cult, not a god.
Harrisy has only one sexual taboo:
Rule G) Do not rape.
Do not force yourself on others. Your pleasures are not more important than other people's.
Chapter 6
The 2000 year war
The Abrahamic religions have been at war with each other for about 2000 years. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
But like some other religions, at all times attempting to be 'the one true religion'. And by their competition, doing more harm than good.
And the Abrahamic religions haven't even shown that the 'good' stuff needs their religion to get done.
They preach that it is somehow noble or their duty to spread their faith. ("Onward Christian Soldiers")
There are dangers associated with proselytism and/or evangelicalism:
(Please note - I had help with the following)
Focus on Conversion over Service:
Proselytism/evangelicalism prioritizes conversion goals over humanitarian or service-oriented activities.
This undermines the credibility and effectiveness of religious organizations engaged in charitable work,
as it is perceived as conditional or insincere.
Dogmatism and Exclusivity:
Evangelicalism/proselytism promotes a rigid, dogmatic interpretation of religious beliefs that excludes other perspectives.
This exclusivity leads to intolerance of differing viewpoints and hinders constructive dialogue and cooperation with people of other faiths or worldviews.
Coercion and Manipulation:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves coercion, manipulation, or exploitation of vulnerable individuals,
such as offering material incentives or exploiting power differentials to induce conversion.
This raises ethical concerns about respect for autonomy and informed consent.
Political Activism:
Evangelicalism/proselytism has been associated with political movements that prioritize specific social or moral issues, leading to controversy and polarization.
this politicization blurs the lines between religion and politics, compromising the integrity of both.
Interfaith Tensions:
Proselytism/evangelicalism contributes to interfaith tensions and conflicts, especially when it is aggressive or disrespectful to members of other religious communities.
It will undermine efforts to foster mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation among different faith traditions.
Fragmentation of Communities:
Proselytism/evangelicalism leads to the fragmentation or division of communities, particularly in contexts where multiple religious groups coexist.
This creates social tensions and weaken social cohesion, especially when proselytism is conducted in a confrontational or divisive manner.
Proselytization and Missionary Work:
We are concerned about aggressive or coercive methods used in proselytization/evangelicalism efforts,
especially when targeting vulnerable populations or in multicultural contexts.
This leads to cultural imperialism or disrespect for the autonomy of individuals and communities.
Cultural Insensitivity:
Proselytism/evangelicalism disregards or disrespects the cultural and religious traditions of the target community.
This leads to cultural imperialism or colonialism, especially when proselytism/evangelicalism is conducted in contexts where there is a history of exploitation or marginalization.
Misrepresentation or Simplification of Beliefs:
Proselytism/evangelicalism involves oversimplification or misrepresentation of religious beliefs and practices in order to make them more appealing to potential converts.
This leads to misunderstandings or misconceptions about the beliefs and traditions of the proselytizing religion.
For these reasons we conscientious objectors to the religious war, need an uncompetitive religion like Harris-y.
But don't push it.
Chapter 7
Humans and gods
Why do human religions have gods that are all too human?
A creator of everything that needs humans to wright/publish a holy book?
An all powerful god who needs humans to promote him?
An all powerful god with a vindictive human sized ego?
An immortal who is obsessed with human reproduction?
An all powerful god who needs humans more than we need him?
Any actual god wouldn't need human religion.
Harrisy serves humans, not gods.
Chapter 8
Parables
Corn In A Cow Patty.
Finding truth in the Abrahamic holy books,
is like finding corn in a cow patty.
Sure there are some good kernels in there,
but is it really worth digging through the shit to find them?
You can find uncontaminated kernels of truth anywhere.
Chapter 9
Feedback
Feedback should be sent to: [zachharris@mail2hell.com](mailto:zachharris@mail2hell.com)
Don't expect a timely reply.

It has been a long journey. Closer to the finish line as each day passes. I am currently undergoing radiation and will be done next week on Monday so I have four more days! Yay! Woohoo! I should be happy but all I feel is sadness. I look at my body and I still can’t believe how much has been done. It still feels like a dream. Seeing my scars and burns. Seeing how I don’t have nipples anymore and what was left of my areola is now peeling off due to the burns. I don’t see myself as desirable. Who would want me. Many would ask why I pay mind to these thoughts. I don’t have any answer to that. I just wish I looked and felt like my old self.
I read a lot of romance and when nipples are described, I just wish I could relate. I wish I could feel them harden when it’s cold.
I want to find someone in the future, but who will want me without nipples? Silly thoughts… fuck cancer. It took my fucking nipples.

Company Information

Corporate Site
Tokyo Century Corporation provides equipment leasing, mobility and fleet management, specialty financing, and international businesses in Japan, the United States, Ireland, The United Kingdom, Germany, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, China, the Philippines, Panama, Mexico, Brazil, and internationally. The company offers leasing and finance, including ancillary services and other businesses relating to the handling of information and communications equipment, office equipment, industrial machinery, transportation equipment, and equipment for commercial and service industries. It also provides automobile leasing for corporate customers and individuals, car rental and car sharing businesses, etc.; specialty financing for shipping, aviation, real estate, and environment and energy fields; and fleet services.
The company operates in a lot of different segments. For consumers, their most famous company is probably Nippon Rent A Car.

Stock Perks

Categories: Alternative Currency, Gift Certificates, Transportation

Rights day

End of March

Details

QUO card and Nippon Rent A Car gift certificate worth 3,000 yen.

Requirements

You wlil get the 3,000 yen Nippon Rent A Car gift certificate by holding 400 shares.
The QUO card amount depends on how many stocks you own and how long you've held them:
400 shares - 2,000 yen worth
4,000 shares:
Less than 2 years of holding - 4,000 yen.
2 or more years of holding - 6,000 yen.
12,000 shares:
Less than 2 years of holding - 6,000 yen.
2 or more years of holding - 8,000 yen.

Comment

Although QUO cards are always easy to use and people who rent cars will find the Nippon Rent A Car certificate valuable, the high share requirements will probably discourage most people who invest for perks. The scaling is so poor for the QUO Card that I wonder why they even bother with the long-term holding bonus. If you really like this company and are going to invest anyway, then these perks are a nice bonus I suppose.

Company Information

Corporate Site
Tokyo Century Corporation provides equipment leasing, mobility and fleet management, specialty financing, and international businesses in Japan, the United States, Ireland, The United Kingdom, Germany, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, China, the Philippines, Panama, Mexico, Brazil, and internationally. The company offers leasing and finance, including ancillary services and other businesses relating to the handling of information and communications equipment, office equipment, industrial machinery, transportation equipment, and equipment for commercial and service industries. It also provides automobile leasing for corporate customers and individuals, car rental and car sharing businesses, etc.; specialty financing for shipping, aviation, real estate, and environment and energy fields; and fleet services.
The company operates in a lot of different segments. For consumers, their most famous company is probably Nippon Rent A Car.

Stock Perks

Categories: Alternative Currency, Gift Certificates, Transportation

Rights day

End of March

Details

QUO card and Nippon Rent A Car gift certificate worth 3,000 yen.

Requirements

You wlil get the 3,000 yen Nippon Rent A Car gift certificate by holding 400 shares.
The QUO card amount depends on how many stocks you own and how long you've held them:
400 shares - 2,000 yen worth
4,000 shares:
Less than 2 years of holding - 4,000 yen.
2 or more years of holding - 6,000 yen.
12,000 shares:
Less than 2 years of holding - 6,000 yen.
2 or more years of holding - 8,000 yen.

Comment

Although QUO cards are always easy to use and people who rent cars will find the Nippon Rent A Car certificate valuable, the high share requirements will probably discourage most people who invest for perks. The scaling is so poor for the QUO Card that I wonder why they even bother with the long-term holding bonus. If you really like this company and are going to invest anyway, then these perks are a nice bonus I suppose.

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First Prev
Anglestan
Augustus 5, 1923
Facility 9, Mancheston
Colonel Jacobs
His hands flew through the folders General Jorgenson and Colonel Thatcher had. There were dozens of them, stacked upon each other all filed in alphabetical order. It had only been a few days since he had woken up from his coma and visited his home— now his mother’s grave. He clenched his fists at the thought. The grief and rage threatened to bubble and spill over once again. He took a deep breath and dragged out the exhale, almost to the point where he had emptied out his lungs.
He was the only one with clearance, and so he couldn’t disclose any of what he learned with his team. They would simply have to trust him and his judgment. Which he was sure they would do. His hands went over one of the folders skimming through it. There were multiple secret projects, but the ones with the most notes were Project S.T.A.R, Project L.U.N.A.R.I, Project R.E.V.I.V.E, Project D.A.W.N, and Project T.E.M.P.L.A.R.
The colonel decided to start with the most notes and papers. Project D.A.W.N.
He skimmed through the notes, reading through some of the details and highlighted words. Project D.A.W.N, the espionage project Thatcher had started placed two spies in Verlin who were to report directly to a Crescent general named Sienna Moretti who was apparently on humanity’s side.
So I was right. There was an espionage element. With the recent attacks and Thatcher’s death, however, it’s safe to assume that it had somehow failed. Either they got found out or they betrayed us. Both seem very likely, but if they were found out, it would be possible that they had died.
He read through all of it before setting the folder down. There were no new notes recently. He sighed and assumed that Project DAWN was a failure. Whether or not the agents were still alive and well, it was too risky to check if they had been compromised. It was better to assume that they had been and cut all contact. The only way to find out now was to go there himself and check. I can’t contact them again. There’s no telling if it would still be Moretti or the agents who would see my messages. It’s a big risk, and judging by the state of things, best to assume it failed.
He picked up another folder. This one had the label ‘under development’ on the folder. Project Templar. He opened the folder and was instantly met with a blueprint and drawings of a massive bipedal machine. It looked humanoid with strange proportions and was supposed to be standing at an impressive 30 meters, or 100 feet. The Titanic Engine Mech for Personal Land Assault and Reconnaissance.
It was apparently a joint project with the Church of Sol, utilizing new and advanced technologies he hadn’t heard of. A 203mm Gatling cannon on one arm, while the other had three different weapons. A massive firestarter that utilized a new type of fuel mixture that could theoretically spew flames a kilometer away using a high-pressure nozzle. The fuel was ignited using an electrical spark. The second weapon was a high-powered light weapon that fired a single powerful beam of focused light that was even further amplified by layers of focusing lenses that could increase its output several times. Its third weapon was… a dust domina?
Mark read through the specifications of the so-called ‘sand cannon’ weapon. It was a massive cannon that accelerated tiny particles several times. Each particle was to be electrically charged, and it would travel at immense speeds. Near impossible speeds. The resulting impact of a microscopic particle at such speeds would be enough to form a small crater and punch through armor like it was nothing. This weapon would fire multiple at the same time, which could literally eat away at anything on the opposing end.
In terms of secondary weapons, the titan had two missile launch chambers in front of its shoulder each containing about 40 missiles, and two massive howitzer cannons on top of it. Both are 800mm in caliber. It had massive stumpy legs that served as bunkers for a small platoon on each leg. Each leg had machine dominas and 155mm cannons. Its chassis held two nuclear reactors inside providing for its power and weaponry. Its armor was the thickest and most ridiculous he’d ever read. Two meters of heavy steel armor.
How far are we in terms of technology? This thing looks like it came out of an H.G. Wells sci-fi novel. He thought, shaking his head. It was over the top, but there was no denying its combat capabilities. If it was already under-developed then it must be the first prototype. This has already been approved. Guess I better see it for myself later and check how it's coming along. Construction apparently started just a few months before the invasion.
Next was project L.U.N.A.R.I. It was a project involving Six. “Huh,” he said, continuing to read on.
The Light Undone: Nocturnal’s Adaptive Resistance Initiative. As he read further, his eyes widened. The reason why Six was so special wasn’t just because of her immunity to all strigoi weaknesses, but because of her impressive ability to turn any true born strigoi like her. She could transfer her strain like any other strigoi and transform them into a version of hers. It however only seemed to work for naturally born strigoi. The new species of ‘half-breeds’ were called ‘Blessed Children’ as Thatcher had coined in the folder.
The plan was to turn all willing true-born hemolite strigoi into these blessed children. Able to withstand the sun. Immune to silver. Free from the dependency on blood. They could remove all the weaknesses of the strigoi and after the war— make it possible to integrate them into society as normal citizens living on the surface. The project folder also made mentions of a city-wide draft in Dante and highlighted the possibility of turning all Dantenite true born strigoi into these blessed children and renaming them as ‘Lunari’. A mix of the dark and the light. The light of Sol reflected in the children of the night.
“Thatcher, what the fuck have you been up to…” Mark whispered to himself.
While it was true that it could help in the war effort by utilizing Six and the dantenite population, it would also invite some unforeseen problems and consequences. Would humanity be okay with the Lunari? Would the world even be ready for them? Strigoi who were immune to the sun. They wouldn’t be impossible to kill, but they would be immensely more powerful if we were to take away their inherent weaknesses. This is a gamble. Its gain would only be seen during the war period, but its unintended effects on society could be catastrophic.
He frowned, setting the folder down. It was obviously Thatcher’s main plan; seeing as all her moves could be traced to the path of the eventual completion of this project. It seemed dangerous in the long run, but the duskwalkers and dantenites had been monumental in the war effort. Maybe it was the time the world started to accept them more. Isolation and segregation was definitely not the way to disperse fears and foster understanding.
If Thatcher thinks this is the next step forward… then I’ll put my faith in her plans.
Next up was Project S.T.A.R, or the Superior Tech and Adaptive Resistance. An upgrade to the current hemolite weapons and gear by using new researched studies. The Starfire Pattern Domina. The SFD-23 This thing features a new loading system and magazine, ditching the rotating cylinder most domina used, or the rotating helix magazine design of the current hemolite standard BM-16 domina.
The new domina had its magazine like a box… a strange design but it was certainly easier to handle than the bulky cylinders the helical mags used. In terms of ergonomics, it was smoother and fit more. Its placement however was on top of the domina, just above the barrel. Most of the weapon were to be made of lightweight polymers and the barrel itself were to be crafted out of reinforced aluminium. In addition to that, it had a 10-inch bayonet attached to it.
There were other new things as well, such as the composition of the bullet. Looking at the conceptual cross-section designs, Mark read through its description and how it would function. A .308 cased telescoped bullet covered in a silver jacket with break-away petals surrounding the main body. Inside the jacket was a penetrator core that was to be made of depleted uranium. It had a small amount of incendiary compound and… powdered white phosphorus behind an explosive compound. The thin silver jacket would deform and trigger the explosive compound inside the body. It would blow up causing massive internal damage and release the incendiary materials into the body with the flecks of powdered white phosphorus. The penetrator core could still potentially keep going and hit a second target, or punch through heavily armored targets.
Part of the new Project S.T.A.R was overhauling the armor and gear of not just the Hemolites but the Hunters as well. Starfire Mk 1. Carapace Armor. Carapace? It looked like plates of steel covered in a rubberized coat. It was supposed to be slipped on over the original hemolite body armor. It added a spring-loaded wrist blade to the gauntlet, a thicker coat made of resistant materials, and added extra padding for the knees, shoulders, and elbows.
However, the hemolites weren’t the only ones mentioned in the folder. It was to serve the Hunters as well. “Hunters…” Mark said. “August’s group is part of this initiative too.” He flipped through some of the pages. There were blueprints and drawings of an armored suit. A mechanized suit even smaller and more compact than the jotunn units. The Mark 1 STR battlesuit. It was supposed to hug the wearer’s frame and increase their overall power. It was supposed to be built of titanium alloy and a heavy steel frame with composite armor. It had a cooling system, life support systems that could recycle bodily fluids, and an exoskeleton frame that could increase the wearer’s strength and speed.
However, the real eye-opener was Thatcher’s notes. She had been ranting about the new human evolution, and how the Hunters were the first of the ‘Solari’. She wanted to enhance human genetics and push past the peak of human ability to reach greater heights. Implants and restructuring of the anatomy to make it more efficient. Using the blood of the goddess herself. She must have lost it. These are the ramblings of a lunatic. At least… if she didn’t mention the goddess. Why was the goddess important here?
The writings ended with the words: “See Project R.E.V.I.V.E, for more details.”
Mark eyed the final folder. His hands shook as he reached out to take it. Flipping it open, his hands nearly dropped it in shock. The goddess Helena was alive. There were pictures of her naked form floating in a giant tube of fluid. There were more of Thatcher’s ramblings and excited rants about the possibilities of such a discovery. Resurrection, Enhancement, and Veneration: Implementation of Visionary Evolution.
The goddess is alive?! According to the file, she’s currently under the Cathedral of New Lundun. Not only that, but the file also detailed the extraterrestrial tech that lay beneath the cathedral. So the goddess is real and she’s— not really a goddess, but rather, a vampyr who created herself a human body to stand in the sun, and decided that it wants to be on humanity’s side… what the fuck.
Mark’s frown and confusion only increased as he read on. Thatcher’s notes seemed to nearly descend into madness as she had written about creating ‘the first hundred’, alluding to the 100 members of the Hunters division. Her plan was to revive the goddess, and with her help and expertise in genetics— use her DNA to transform the Hunters into demi-humans. Super soldiers. Literal children of the goddess Helena. They would then don the STR battlesuits, the first of the superhuman warriors to defend humanity. Solari.
Their lightning-speed advancement into technology was heralded by studying the alien tech, which deepened the understanding of physics and engineering. Nuclear technologies, chemical warfare, new material sciences, the mechs, and walkers, it was spearheaded by trying to reverse-engineer technology centuries ahead of our own… for the past hundred years. It wasn’t completely stolen, however. More or less borrowed ideas that had been made into our own with our own designs and implements. Still, the speed at which the Church and the military had deciphered such advancements all by themselves was… impressive to say the least.
Still, the fact that the goddess was alive, and could be brought back was big news. Checking the file for details, he found that the previous general, Jorgenson, had already approved this project. It was their next step as soon as they returned from New Amsterdam; which never happened.
If Helena was alive, then she could end this war swiftly, or at the very least help greatly like she once did during the War of Darkness. Having the goddess back would throw a massive wrench in the Crescent’s plans. It would certainly be something they wouldn’t expect. Not even I expected this, since many sources say that the goddess had already ascended to watch over humanity, while conspiracy theorists claim she had died in battle and that the Church was worshiping a corpse. This could be the trick up our sleeves that no one would even consider.
The colonel quickly got up from his seat and gathered the main files he had read. He placed them in a bag and rushed outside of his office in Facility 9. He went over to a nearby room and flicked the lights on. “We need to go,” he said. In an instant seven hemolite soldiers got up from whatever they were doing and instantly stood in line.
“Sir! Whatever you need of us, sir,” the group said in unison.
They were Hemo-1. His former squad members. He had taken up Louis' suggestion that they be his personal security detail. It was a shame that he had basically placed the best hemolite team out of commission, but after all he had been through he convinced himself that he could be just a little selfish. He didn’t want to lose any more friends. Not on his watch. Not while he was in an office, and they were out fighting.
“We’re going to New Lundun. Better pack up, it’s going to be a long night.”
“Mark,” Olivia said.
Jacobs turned to her direction and gave her a nod.
“Colonel, sir, may I ask where in New Lundun?”
“Liv, you don’t need to do that with me. Please. I give all of you special permission,” the colonel groaned. “It’s so weird. I mean, ‘captain’ was bad enough, but now you’re acting like I’m an authority figure.”
“You… are, though,” Emma shrugged.
“I’m your friend, and Liv I’m literally your partner. Unless you have some kind of weird fetish, save it for later.”
Olivia grinned, shaking her head. “Duly noted!” she chirped.
“That’s better,” Mark chuckled. “Now come on, we have a cathedral to visit.”
“Uhh, I’m not sure if you noticed, but we’re kinda… strigoi?!” Louis groaned. “I’d burn the moment I step in that place! Plus, it’s coated in silver! Anything I even touch will give me burns!”
“Oh come on, Lou. You have fucking gloves on. As long as you’re not a clumsy dumbass you’ll be fine… oh wait.’
“Uh huh, just sayin’ what I think, boss.”
The group headed out and Mark said something on his radio. He then sat on the ground, making his joints pop. The rest of the squad shrugged and followed his example, sitting down on the grass and waiting for… nothing. Charles and Zach looked at each other in confusion. “Uh, sir?” they asked. “Aren’t we supposed to be heading out and traveling right now?”
“Oh yeah, we’re just waiting.”
“Foooor…?”
The colonel gave them a smirk as a loud noise began to make itself known. A hummingbird transport appeared out of the distance and stopped right above them, slowly descending into the grass. “Being colonel has its perks,” Mark said with a smile. He stood up and hopped inside the hummingbird as soon as it landed. “Come on now! We’ve got work to do! Last one aboard buys everyone food later!”
Emma zipped in before Mark could even finish his sentence, followed by Olivia, Phineas, Charles, Zach, and then Louis, who sadly took too long to process what the colonel said, and lagged behind.
“Aw, man! Fuck this shit.”
“Rules are rules, Lou. Prepare your wallet later.” Mark grinned.
With a smile, the colonel pulled Olivia to his side, who blushed for a moment before shaking her head. “Take us up! New Lundun Cathedral! How long would it take?” he asked the pilot.
“About an hour and a half!” The pilot replied. “Less if you want to get there as soon as possible!”
“Take your time! The night’s still young.”
The hummingbird started to lift up, taking them into the air. The group settled down in their seats and watched outside the open. Mark opened up a bag inside the hummingbird and took out some ear muffs built for a strigoi. Extremely loud noises were damaging for a strigoi’s enhanced hearing, so the military started implementing ear muffs for them after complaints from early deployments of the hemolite squads.
The trip didn’t take too long. In only an hour and twenty minutes they had arrived at the safe zone of New Lundun, heading straight for the cathedral. The night mass had just ended and people were leaving the cathedral. “Looks like we made it in perfect time!” Mark smiled. They hovered for a few minutes in the air before eventually landing down right in front of the statue of Helena.
As soon as they landed, the colonel and his group left the hummingbird. Mark instructed the pilot to wait for them. He went straight for the cathedral with his group following behind. He entered inside, clearing his throat. “Hello?”
“Well this is surely unexpected,” an old man said, walking up to greet them.
“Great Grandfather Aurelius. It’s uh, an honor.”
“Please. The honor is mine… I see you’re the new colonel. Yes, I’ve heard the news,” he said. “Would you mind telling me your name, young man? As well as your companions, if they feel so. I usually don’t allow duskwalkers here but, I have nothing against them. I’ll make an exception for your group.”
“Thank you, Great Grandfather,” Mark replied. “I am Colonel Mark Jacobs. These are my friends and security detail. Olivia, Zach, Phineas, Charles, Emma, and Louis.”
“I see, and what brings you here?”
“Since Thatcher’s demise, I was given access to her research and project folders upon taking up the title. I’ve learned about what’s under your cathedral,” Mark cleared his throat. “Would it be alright if we could see it? I’d like to check it for myself. Of course, under your permission and guidance, Great Grandfather.”
The church head looked from Mark to his companions. He pulled a slight frown and hummed. “Do these companions of yours have the clearance? Surely, we wish to keep our secrets hidden,” he said. Mark nodded.
“They do not have clearance to know what is in Thatcher’s folders and her findings,” the colonel nodded. “However, I give them permission to accompany me, and should they discover things for themselves, then you have my word and my trust that I can keep them from spilling state secrets.”
The Great Grandfather gave a short pause before ultimately relenting. “Very well,” he let out a sigh. “Follow me.”
Aurelius walked behind the altar and pulled the same lever, which opened the same staircase leading underground, where Jorgenson and Thatcher had once gone. “Over here, colonel,” he said. “I do not know you completely yet, but this is a big deal of trust I am giving you. Perhaps you would be the one to do things that Thatcher could not have.”
Mark nodded, he and his group followed the Great Grandfather down the staircase. It led down to a massive underground facility, with numerous priests, researchers, and scientists. Libraries, records, instruments, and artifacts of old. It was a treasure trove of learning.
“So,” Aurelius cleared his throat. “What would you like to know about?”
“This isn’t all of it,” Mark said. “Thatcher mentioned a living, breathing, Helena.”
His group behind him let out a soft gasp, but they tried their best to hide their surprise.
“Hm,” the Great Grandfather nodded. “Perceptive young man aren’t you? Very well.”
They were then led into another room, behind a set of heavy blast doors. If the whole group were trying to hide their surprise then, now they could barely contain it. Even the colonel stared awestruck at the things he had seen. Despite the near-magical objects around them, the true shock was the massive starship at the end of the hallway. “It’s impressive isn’t it?” Aurelius said. “All of the goddess’ artifacts and items at our disposal, to use and learn from, to integrate into our own. This is why Anglestan is the most powerful nation in the UHT in terms of development. When it comes to industry, however, that would go to the UNA. But we share our secrets with them. All our advancements are handed to them first before any other nation.”
“This is all amazing, Great Grandfather,” Mark replied. “But this is not what I’m here for.”
“No, it’s not.” Aurelius nodded.
He led them to another room, one that was sterilized and sported advanced machinery. Things that Mark had never even seen. There were screens with luminous green texts that appeared in front of it. Large panels with numerous keys, levers, and dials. Graphs of all sorts and beeping monitors. In the center, was the very thing he had come all this way to confirm. A large cylinder filled with liquid, sporting tubes and pipes connecting to its base. Inside was a woman of large proportion. Four arms, two legs, and six wings. In her bare chest was a symbol of the sun that seemed to glow dimly.
“There she is, there’s you goddess.”
Neither Mark nor his group spoke a word. He walked up to it, eyeing the woman inside. It really is her. Down to the last details. Golden hair, six limbs, six folded wings, and she looks massive. Probably as big as her statue just outside the cathedral. This is it. The very goddess in the history books, the one spoken about in legends and the one worshiped in the Churches of Sol.
“Can we free her?” he said.
The Great Grandfather nearly choked on his spit upon hearing those words. “Free her?! That could kill her! We don’t even understand this technology, let alone control it!” he said pointing at the panels. “The machines you see here are the best and most advanced we have based on what we can reverse engineer, but even then, the consequences of tampering with its functions may be disastrous!”
“I understand, Great Grandfather,” Mark said. “But we are in a dire situation, and the goddess may be our hope of turning this around. Whatever secrets of her tech that you don’t understand, wouldn’t she be able to teach us directly? What good is she floating around in Sol knows what?”
“That is her miraculous healing fluid. She had already built this contraption centuries ago in case anything were to happen to her, that her body’s natural healing could not sustain,” Aurelius said. “During the War of Darkness, Helena was struck with a weapon so deadly, her very cells began to tear away. The Reaper. Dealt to her by Absolem the progenitor. Her flesh was peeling from her body, and she began to decay whilst she still breathed. She entered this contraption and gave strict instructions to the Great Grandfather at the time, not to interrupt the healing process. The machine that monitored her, however, began to fail over time.”
“So this… these screens and panels…”
“Is only what functions we can understand. We took it upon ourselves to rebuild and study it the best we could. What we have right now is only a cheap imitation of a technology we do not fully comprehend,” he said. “It took us decades to even figure out the fundamentals and create a working prototype of this machine. By some miracle, the goddess’ healing process had remained even while we replaced components of technology ahead of ours.”
“But you know how to free her, don’t you?”
“I… yes.”
“Great Grandfather Aurelius,” Mark began. “We can end this war. Imagine what we could do with the goddess fighting on our side. We could advance even further, we could finally end the bloodshed, and we can show humanity that there is still hope. Imagine how people all over the world would feel seeing as their goddess has returned.”
“I wish I had your enthusiasm,” Aurelius said. “But it is simply too risky. The Church’s duty is to protect Helena and her legacy. We keep her alive, literally and figuratively. She nearly died the last time she was involved in a war. Would you risk losing the goddess?”
“Would you risk humanity losing?”
The Great Grandfather fell silent, looking back at Helena floating inside the tube, then to the panels that controlled it. He frowned and let out a long sigh. “The goddess said that we should not interrupt it. That it would end as soon as it was finished. Maybe we should trust her words.”
Mark shook his head. “I don’t spot a single blemish on the goddess. Not a single scratch,” he argued. “You said it yourself that the machine had begun to fail and you replaced components. How would you know that the thing that’s supposed to wake her up was not tampered with? Think about it. What you may think is a useless piece may be integral to the whole machine. Or maybe your replacements were not up to the task. Just because nothing’s happened doesn’t mean its functions have remained whole.”
“Young man, we simply cannot gamble with the goddess’ life here.”
“Have you no faith? Great Grandfather?”
Aurelius stepped back in shock. Mark’s companions looked at each other, clearly surprised as well. “Mark… I don’t think we should keep arguing with—” Olivia tried to say.
“No,” the colonel said firmly, cutting her off. “Great Grandfather Aurelius, do you think that Helena will not be able to pull through if we wake her? How long has it been? A century? How much longer will we wait? She may be immortal but humans aren’t.”
“I'm sorry, but the chances of failure are too high. The probability of her—”
“I don’t care about the probability! Would you rather put your faith in a statistic?!” Mark raised his voice. “I lost my mother to this war! My friends! My job! My eye, and almost my life! I’ve put mine on the line out there! You don’t know what it’s like out there! Was my mother’s death just a probability too? Was she just a statistic to you?! That as long as the numbers are good, no matter how many are lost, we are ‘winning’?!”
“Mark—!”
“No, Liv! He needs to know what’s really going on out there!” he spat. “Great Grandfather, with all due respect, but you don’t have a damn clue what it’s like to be in the field. You’re a man of faith, aren’t you? Take a risk. Everyone else has.”
Aurelius stood there, dumbfounded. He bit the inside of his cheeks and clenched his fists. “For your insolence, I would have had you flogged and stripped of your rank,” he glared at the young colonel. However, his features slowly softened, letting out a soft sigh. “But I have never seen such conviction. Mighty is your faith.”
The Great Grandfather moved over to the panels and reached into his robe, pulling out from around his neck a key with the symbol of the sun. He inserted it into the machine and turned. A beep sounded, right before Aurelius pulled a lever. In an instant, the fluid inside the glass chamber began to drain out into the tubes under it. Slowly, the chamber emptied and all that was left was the nude form of the goddess sitting in the glass.
“Did it work?” Louis asked, stepping forward and looking at the woman.
Aurelius stayed silent, his hands shaking in anticipation. Mark moved toward the glass chamber, when suddenly, the glass opened up like a door, releasing a fragrant mist. They stood there, watching for a whole minute. Nothing. At first nothing. The Great Grandfather looked like he was about to break down. His knees shook as he covered his mouth, thinking that he was responsible for the death of Helena.
That was when… a soft sound was heard. Movement. Olivia immediately went over to Mark and stood in front of him. Ready to protect him should anything happen. Slowly, the goddess moved more, her arms inched to the side.
Then, her eyes opened.

Aaahh this is going to be long but I have nowhere else to address my current circumstances right now and I dunno if this is the right place to say this but I hope it is. sob sob
Anyways, hi! I'm a college student (21F) who has been peer-reviewed (lol) that I may be autistic when I opened up to a friend about how I'm so overwhelmed around people and the environment in general everytime I go outside, especially at school. They are autistic as well and they pointed out that I have traits that can be linked to autism. I was pretty sure I have ADHD, but now I'm confused and I'm trying to figure myself out abt myself once again and why I can't be a person like other people who seem like they live life on an easier level than me (not completely disregarding their struggles but I hope it makes sense).
During my midterm exams, I couldn't really focus on anything anymore after how many years of forcing myself to function properly despite stressed and overwhelmed. It really felt uncomfortable and I felt like crying in the middle of our exams. I had to stop myself bc its so embarrasing to just randomly cry during exams where I couldn't even understand why I was crying at all lol. Not to add the very loud voices from my classmates and other noises I couldn't tolerate anymore for how many years that these types of noises messed with my brain. I wasn't able to comprehend every question from the exam even if it was familiar to me bc I was so overstimulated.
After that, I told my dad that I didn't want to go to our family reunion with our relatives bc I was so exhausted and I needed alone time to myself even for just one day. I really liked to be alone and prefer to do stuff I like alone or with a person that I'm very comfortable with. Just do our own stuff and not requiring to speak at all. Just there vibing. Everytime I have to go outside and meet people, it felt like I have to put a personality just to be able to converse with them and manage to smile even if I don't want to. I don't know how to act around people and how to empathize with them, so I have to learn/copy and research others' behavior - which my friend pointed out that I may be autistic and I was masking to fit in.
I feel severely burnt out after that, and I think it continues to affect me up to this day. I once loved being a pharmacy major and learning about how drugs affect the body and all that but with the way how my teachers conduct their lessons and quizzes + super super overstimulated from the environment and lots of responsibilities, my mind won't process any new information anymore and my body refuses to move and work on my school stuff, and I lose motivation to study, too. Or even get up from bed at all.
Another thing that my friend pointed out was how I manage my time to prepare. I don't know how to explain it in general but I'll give an example on how I do my routine when I go on campus. My classes usually start at 8 AM, and I leave at 7 AM. Therefore I prepare myself 2 hours early and "operate" every 30 minutes. I need to get one or two things done within 30 minutes or else I feel like I would be late and I hate feeling late. I don't like changing schedules last minute or very late announcements (which my teachers are fond of changing schedules very late or make an announcement for lab requirements at like 12 midnight on the same day where we will have lab classes and I'm already asleep around 8 to 9!! Everyone seemed to be fine with it but I was super stressed out and I don't like stuff similar to that). And yesterday when we had our math class, my teacher said we would end at 6 PM to catch up on our topics. But around 5:40 when we had our break time she suddenly said that we would be extending until 8 PM, and I felt like I was about to cry again. (I did cry)
I also dislike it when people set their schedules like 7:45 PM or 8:15 AM or 9:20 AM and not 7:00 or 7:30/8:00 or 8:30 and all that stuff because its hard for me to prepare that way. Or when they plan stuff and tell me that we'll go at night, but not specifying the time.
In regards of my interests, I like pharmacology, radiopharmaceuticals, physics, art, and fashion design. I also like math even I'm not really good at those things I mentioned. I just love to read stuff about them and how people come up with theories. The thing is I'm more of a gatekeeper and I dislike sharing them to people even if they share the same interests as me, unless I am comfortable with them. I'm more of a listener than a talker. I don't know if its a common thing among autistic people. And everytime I gain a new interest, my other interests go dormant and I can only focus on that one specific interest which made me lead to ignore my other interests and responsibilities.
Aside from that, I struggle expressing my emotions especially facial expressions. I get scolded at lot by my mom that I look pissed but I'm not pissed at all. It feels uncomfy for me to smile either, and my emotions are usually just stagnant, I think. The only feeling I can "feel" is when I'm stressed, anxious, angry, and everything else feels like "meh" to me. "How are you feeling?" questions are hard for me to answer and I wish I have a soundboard to respond and its just vine boom noise or stuff like that to accurately describe what I'm feeling instead of words.
When it comes to repetitive movements, I don't really know because I don't pay attention to my actions. I have a habit of picking my lips and pulling strands of my hair though. Nowadays I bring my cotton doll with me to keep my hands busy or end up crocheting since they make me feel comfortable.
I think I have a lot more stuff that are autistic traits but it's going to be very very long than this one. I'm seeing a psychologist a few days from now to get myself assessed because I know I really need professional help. I'm too anxious to talk about myself.
Upon reading people's experiences in here and in other subreddits as well + having high scores in online tests + reading Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism", I felt very seen and made me decide that I should go see a professional, but I don't really know what to say to them and I feel like I should have a format for everything I say (as always). It would be nice if anyone has an advice for this too.
Again, sorry if its very long and you had to read them all !! I have no idea about myself anymore and I just want to make life somehow easier to me to manage instead of trying to treat life as something that I have to survive instead of just living. That or become an alien/entity from a higher dimension so I can do what I want and no longer be perceived or be noticed/given attention to.
That's all, thank you very much! 🫶

My husband and I have been trying forever for a baby. And a few months ago I finally got the two lines that indicated our dreams were becoming a reality. I knew it would be high risk but I didn’t care about the risk, this was a dream I would regret not at least trying absolutely everything to fulfill.
The first few months my husband was extremely supportive. Waiting on me hand and foot, massages even though I wasn’t even showing yet. As the second trimester marched on his excitement only grew, slowly watching the baby grow at doctor’s appointments with me.
On the way out of a doctor’s appointment I tripped and landed terribly. Luckily we were right outside the doctor’s office so we could get help immediately. I faint at the sight of blood, so I don’t remember much after touching between my legs and finding crimson stains on my fingertips. When I woke up I was dazed but was so happy to feel my baby still doing gymnastics in my stomach.
My husband, however, must have become frightened that something would happen and slowly started to detach himself from my whole pregnancy. He only offered grunts in support as I picked out colors for the nursery. We had a late term pregnancy loss before so he was just scared of losing a baby again. It was easier to detach than accept something may happen. But you can’t live in the what if’s.
As I began to unpack the furniture for the nursery and set up the cameras for the baby monitor, I could see my husband's discomfort grow. His physical demeanor only got worse the more I progressed with the furniture.
Finally he stood up and shouted what he apparently had been holding in the last two months. “You aren’t pregnant anymore Liv! You lost the baby with the fall, there was nothing the doctor could do! A therapist told me to let you grieve how you saw fit but I can’t do this anymore! It is torture to watch you decorate our dead child’s nursery.”
I didn’t say a word, and just put his hand on my stomach because as I explained to him, I don’t care what the doctor says. I know my body and my baby. As he began to roll his eyes and was just about to lift his hand the baby kicked hard. My husband's face went from disbelief to horror.
All he could mutter as tears of true depression and fear began rolling down his cheeks was, “Liv, I saw them remove our poor sweet baby with my own eyes.”
As his last word slipped out, I could feel a searing pain. I was going into labor, and for the first time I was worried what that meant.
When I wake up I realize I am no longer home. In between bouts of unconsciousness, I take in the scene around me. The doctor screaming “WE HAVE TO SAVE IT!” and it all comes rushing back. I got told I was not pregnant by my husband and immediately went into labor. Which in my haze is a very hard sequence of events to process, hell even in my right mind that would be a difficult one.
I start stirring and the doctor notices and looks down at me, beaming with pride. My husband in a chair clearly drugged also is starting to rouse and try and piece together what happened. All he can keep repeating is, “what is it?” in a stupor. Like he truly couldn’t process what happened and what was currently happening.
As I become more aware, I try and find my voice. While raspy I am able to gasp out the words, “Where is my baby?!”
The doctor looks at me the pride evaporating and a cold expression taking over his face. “Your baby died months ago. Your husband watched us remove it. However, he did not see that I went on to take advantage of your willing and ready womb by implanting something much more important than you or your child would ever become.”
I blink taking in this information. I felt this thing grow in me, thought it was a part of me, loved it more than I loved myself. But that’s when I thought it was my child, my stomach begins turning and bile begins to raise into my throat.
“Would you like to hold what you brought to life, what you birthed?” The doctor said with a look of pure curiosity crossing his face.
“Yes..” I gasp before I can rationally consider his proposition.
Walking over with a bundle, he places it into my arms, and I look down with severe trepidation. Even though I have never seen it, I know it’s the thing I felt so connected to and somehow still do. Pulling the blanket away I see what could only be described as an abomination.
It was three different children stitched together to almost become one but not quite. Clearly in pain and not meant to exist. As a look of horror crosses my face the doctor sighs.
“I was hoping for a better reaction, that maternal instinct may win out. Too bad. Considering one of those babies IS yours. These three babies couldn’t make it on their own but together they could. I tried many times, but you are the first one to actually be able to last full term and have the baby survive. I hoped maternal instinct would have won over, it would have been easier.”
The bile rises again and I listen on in terror.
The doctor continues, “Since you’re the only one this has been successful with, there will be many more attempts we will require your hospitable womb for.”

First/Previous
The travel took on a less gloomy quality in the day that passed since Gemma’s self-reflection and although there remained a queer distance in her eyes, she seemed in better spirits in losing the weight of the words.
It was a night just beyond Wabash Crevasse that we pushed on till sunset was almost upon us and we were each tired and the food stocks ran low and so we found harbor in a half collapsed cellar where a home once stood; it was only after examining the slatted, rotted boards of the old place, fallen over, tired with decay, that we spied the cellar doors intact; sheets of door metal plied us with safety from the outside world and the interior of the place stank of mold and the deeper recesses were collapsed, but there was a cradle to crossbar the stair hatch and I put my prybar there for the night. We finished the water and canned tomatoes, and I smoked a cigarette, staving off the inevitable doom which would come with the dwindling of our supplies.
I’d peeked through the space where the doors met at the cellar’s entry and watched the full darkness there while the youngins spoke of life and the trivial pursuits of it and I hardly said a word besides.
Sitting on the lowest step with Trouble dumbly maintaining her station by me, by the low glow of the space in the threshold, I saw they’d pushed their bedrolls together and Andrew had fallen asleep with his arm over Gemma’s shoulder and her eyes glowed with shine from the crack, blinked a few times while seeing me; she too eventually drifted to sleep, and I spent time by the secured door.
Gunshots rang across the stillness, and they stirred from their quiet slumber and Gemma asked, “Harlan, is it alright?”
I moved to the space there at the doorway again and listened and watched what I could through that crack and nothing beyond came. “It’s safe. I’ll be up a bit longer. I’ll watch.”
Andrew asked, “Can’t sleep?”
“I’ll sleep in a bit. Don’t worry about me. Rest. Sleep good and we can put more behind us.
They sat up, legs crossed triangle-wise, and Gemma spoke again, “Why do you have such a hard time sleeping? It seems I’m asleep after you and only awake after you too.”
“Yeah,” said Andrew.
“It’s cool at night. I can listen to the wind.” I shrugged.
“You should be the one that tries to get some sleep,” said Andrew.
I said nothing.
They reached out their arms and I shook my head.
“Here,” Gemma said, “Move your bedroll closer.” She reached across the dirt floor of the cellar and dragged my splayed roll so that it sat beside hers.
“I’ll sleep later.” I turned my attention back to the door and ignored them till their sounds of sleep could be heard. The Alukah was nowhere and did not tap on the door that night and when I moved to sleep, I shimmied onto the roll beside them, facing away on my shoulder; the dog followed, laid on the bare dirt beside me and I held the mutt.
Though I refused a noise as they stirred in the absolute darkness, I felt Gemma’s arm fall over my own shoulder and felt Andrew’s hand touch my back, and water traced the bridge of my nose and I slept deeply thereafter.
There was no breakfast without food, and the water was gone; I felt the eyes of the dog on us as we packed up our belongings that next morning and I tried not to imagine the poor animal skinned over fire. I smiled at Trouble, patted its head, scratched its chin; she sniffed my hand like she was looking for something that wouldn’t be found.
We went west again, ignoring roads and pushed through straight wasteland where nothing was and no one was, and with every dry footfall on the dry hard ground, I wished for rain, and I wished that when it had rained, as infrequent as it was, that I had been wise enough to save what we could from the sky; that sky was red and swollen and refused to burst. We pushed on through strange dead thickets where grayed and twisty yellow branches lurched from the ground into the sky like even they too wished for an end to all the suffering. It was days more till we would see Alexandria and though I could stave off hunger (thirst too, if necessary), I was not so certain that the children would be able to push on without it; they did not complain and watched the ground in our march and maintained higher spirits than I could’ve imagined from them.
Early in the day, they spoke often, and I listened and as they wore on, their words came less and even the dog seemed in a lower mood for the unsaid predicament; me too.
Gemma broke the silence on the matter by saying, “What are we going to do about food? Water?”
“We’ll push on.”
“We could turn back?” asked Andrew.
“The more time we spend out in the open, outside of a city, the more likely it is that the Alukah will catch us unawares. Tighten your belts.” Our feet took us around a dilapidated truck, an old thing with a rusty hook which dangled off a rear arm. “Save your urine.”
They made faces but did not protest.
“Does that work? You ever drink pee?” asked Andrew.
I laughed, “I thought we’d be there by now. I took us too long by trying to drop the scent of the Alukah. That thing’s hunted us for days—last night was the first time it ain’t bothered us. It’s got me wondering why.”
Gemma piped up, licking her dry lips before speaking, “Do you think that monster ran into those scavengers we saw?” Then I caught her shooting a look at Andrew, “At least we warned them.” Her smile was faint and almost indiscernible as one.
I shrugged. “Can’t say. Don’t think it’s smart to turn back. Won’t be long and we’ll touch the 40 and then it’ll be a straight on to Babylon—couple of days—can’t turn back though. Maybe without food; that’s doable. Water’s the worst, but if it comes to it,” I paused and looked on the weathered faces of the children, on the lowered head of Trouble which followed her nose across the ground (it searched just short of frantic), “Like I said, ‘save your urine’.”
The first pains of hunger held within me brought up some reminiscence and I wished for nothing more than to hold Suzanne; I could nearly smell them and in the swaying walk which took us on past toppled townships, I held long blinks where I could nearly make out their face and if I really pushed the limits of my imagination, I could feel them. In those moments, as we passed dead places, rotted pits of despair, I could think of little more than their presence. Though I knew it was a dangerous game, hoping for more than I was worth, I hoped for Suzanne then and I wished that I’d taken them up on their offer to travel to Alexandria with them; it could’ve been home—it never was in all the times I’d gone there, but who knows? The thoughts of Babylon brought forth their gardens; the wild gardens and the water which flowed freely through their pipes. I wished I was a different person entirely and that too would’ve been better for Suzanne; how it was that they’d seen anything in me, I don’t know. How it was that they could stoop to the level of being with someone like me—I warded off that thought, because to place the blame there would certainly be unfair. I thought of my love plainly and wanted a different life more suited to them.
Imaginations played more furiously, and I remembered the evening when Dave stopped me from leaping from that roof—it’s doubtful that he even realized that he’d slowed my demise; perhaps he did know—I wished then that I could ask him. Too kind for the world. People too kind for the world were scarce and hardly worth the trouble. Yet, there I was, chaperoning those two across the wastes.
Gemma was a broken person when I’d found her, tortured in Baphomet’s well; Andrew was a dullard boy who’d lost his hand. What a silly predicament.
I stopped in my movements and swiveled on my heel to catch Andrew by the shoulder. “You still got your hand, don’t you?”
In good humor, the boy grinned, lifted the nub on the end of his left forearm to show me, “Nope.”
“Dammit, no! The hand in the jar!”
Andrew raised his eyebrows. “In my pack.”
“Stop,” I commanded Trouble; the dog hardly recognized my words and continued a way then circled back, sad eyes looking up from where she took to sit by my side. Gemma, both arms dangling loosely from her own pack’s shoulder straps, took into the circle we’d formed.
The girl asked, “What about the jar? It’s nasty, but I guess it’s his.”
“I think that’s it,” I said. I took Andrew by his shoulders, looked him in his eyes, “We could use it!”
“What?” The boy almost laughed in the display of our concern. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“I think I’ve got it! It’s good for a trap.” I shook him; maybe too hard. I almost smiled. “It’s worth a shot!”
“It’s mine.” He bit his top lip, withdrew from me.
“You’ll feel differently about that,” I said.
Gemma placed a hand on Andrew’s pack and tried ripping it open. “Give it to him!” shouted the girl.
The boy whipped from her grasp, and he spun on his feet, and panic stood on his face. “It’s mine, isn’t it?”
I took a step forward, “No, not anymore.” I put out my palm, “Give it.”
Andrew nearly flinched at the thought of it and shook his head a little. “Why?”
“I told you why,” I said.
“You don’t even know if it’ll work, do you?” his words were long in protest.
The girl started again, “Andrew, please.”
He locked eyes with Gemma and once again, his bottom teeth came up to meet over his top lip and he moved his jaw methodically with contemplation.
“What does it even matter?” she asked.
“It’s mine. You don’t know what it’s like.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“C’mon,” he said, but his pack straps fell from his shoulders, and he hunkered down on the ground and opened his bag; his right hand plunged into the recesses therein and withdrew the jar with his severed left hand. He held the object up, refusing to come up from his open pack, keeping his eyes on the ground. “Take it then.” He shook the jar; its contents sloshed with liquid decay.
I grabbed the thing, held it to skylight; the remains within had congealed and rotted and lumps nearly floated in the brownish liquid which had formed in the base of the container. I shook it and stared for a moment at the miniscule debris which floated alongside the hand; each of its digits had swollen and erupted to expose bone; some had come away in pieces. “Tomorrow,” I said and nodded.
We gathered ourselves and Andrew pulled his pack on again and we moved, Trouble still looked sorry and the boy remained quiet while the girl chattered on with questions while we took through the dying ground in a formation with the dog on point then me then the children.
“What will you do with it?” she asked me.
“Not sure yet.”
Andrew made a noise like he wanted to say something but didn’t.
“You think it will work?” asked Gemma.
“Nothing’s a guarantee. They’re smart—Alukah.”
“Smart enough to figure out a trap?”
I shrugged. “We’ll find out.”
“We could put stakes in a pit.”
“Keep on the lookout for a building. Something with multiple floors.”
With that, we moved on, found a worn, mostly destroyed road and we fell into a travelling quiet and the thought of hunger or thirst arose again, and I pushed it down—though I knew the uneasiness could only last so long before savagery would overtake the human condition; the kids seemed strong enough, but I kept an eye on the dog too. Savagery belonged not only to humans, after all.
The ground of the wastes was harder when it was quiet, and it was flatter further west. The sky—red and full of thin and transparent drifting clouds—seemed an awful sight when stared at for too long; it was the thing which stretched as if to signal there wasn’t an end in any direction, as if to declare we had much more to go till safety. Wanderlust is a thing that I believe I’ve felt before, but under that sky, with those two and the dog, I didn’t feel it at all. It was doom that I felt. Ignorance and doom. And it was all because I was certain I’d made all the wrong mistakes, and it was coming back to me. I was experienced. We should’ve had food and water. Perhaps there was some deep and nasty part inside of me that had intended to sacrifice them along the way. The words of the Alukah might have rung true: You say you make no deals, but I smell it. I think you’d deal.
Surely, I felt differently. Surely.
“Getting darker,” called Andrew as we came to where signposts—worn and bent and barely legible—told us of a place once called Annapolis and the buildings were nearly gone entirely; places, maybe places that were once homes, were leveled—I was briefly caught in imagining what it might’ve been like all those ages ago. As are most places, it was haunted like that and when we came to a long rectangular structure of metal walls—thin walls—we took it as a place for rest for the night.
It once served as an agricultural station, for when we breached its entry, there were a line of dead machines—three in all—cultivators or tillers which stood higher than any of our heads and Gemma asked what they were, and I told her I thought they were for farming. The great rusted bodies stood in quiet shadow as we came through a side passage of the building and the great doors which had once been used to release those machines from the building stood frozen in their frame. I approached the doors, lighting my lantern and motioning for the children to shut the door we’d entered through.
Upon closer inspection, it seemed the doors would roll into the ceiling and the chains which held the doors in place were each secured with rusted padlocks—I removed my prybar from my pack and moved along the wall of doors, giving each old lock a smack with the weapon; each one held in place, seemingly fused there through years of corrosion, and I rounded the cultivators once more, back to the children, near the side door where they’d discovered a rickety stair frame which crawled up the side of the wall to a catwalk; along the catwalk, a levitated box stood at the height of the structure, stilted by metal legs, and we took the stairs slowly with the dog following close behind; the poor mutt was mute save the sound of its own shuffling paws.
The metal stairs creaked under our weight and Gemma held her own lantern high over her head so that the strange shadows of the place grew longer, stranger, and suddenly I felt very sure that something was in the dark with us, but there was no noise except what we made. My eyes scanned the darkness, and I followed the children up the stairs till we met the overhang of the catwalk and I peered into the shadows, the blades of the cultivators—far extended on foldable arms—struck up through the pool of blackness beneath us and I felt so cold there and if it were not for the breath of my fellow travelers, I might have been lost in the dark for longer than intended—lost and frozen and contemplative.
“There’s a room,” said the boy, and he pushed ahead on the hanging passage, and he was the first to the door. “Boxes,” he said plainly.
Upon coming to the place where he stood, Gemma pushed her lantern over the threshold, and I saw what he’d meant as I traced my own lantern to help; the room was crammed with plastic totes and old metal containers of varied sizes. There seemed to be enough empty space to maneuver through the room, but only if one watched their feet while they walked. Carefully.
We moved to the room, and I found a stack of crates to place my lantern then motioned for Gemma to douse hers. In minutes, the place was rearranged so that we could sit comfortably on the floor; crates lined the walls precariously and we breathed heavy from the work done, but we began to unpack and upon watching the children while I rolled a cigarette, I felt a pang of guilt, a terrible summation—all choices in my life had led me here and with them and perhaps it would have been a better world for them without me.
Mentally shrugging this thought away, I lit my cigarette, inhaled deeply, and then withdrew the jar which Andrew had handed over. I held it to the lantern to examine it. The grotesqueness of it hardly phased me and I watched it more curious and hopeful than disgusted.
“I hope it’ll work,” said the boy, “Whatever it is that you plan on doing with it.” He grimaced and maintained a further silence in patting his bedding for fluff. The dog moved to him, and she pushed her forehead against him where he squatted on floor. The boy scratched Trouble’s chin and whispered, “Good girl,” into the top of her head where he’d pushed his own face.
“I’m hungry,” said Gemma; she placed her chin in her arm while watching Andrew with the dog. She sat on her own flat bed there on the floor and stated plainly the thing that I’d hoped to ignore for longer.
“I know.” I took another drag from the cigarette and let the smoke hang over my head. “The dog?”
Andrew recoiled, pulling Trouble closer into his arms.
I smiled. “It was a joke.”
Andrew relaxed, but only a moment before Gemma added, “Maybe.”
The boy narrowed his eyes in the girl’s direction, and she shrugged. “If it’s life or death.”
He didn’t say anything and merely continued stroking Trouble’s coat.
That night, we slept awfully and even in the complete darkness, I felt the cramp of the storage room and the angled shapes of the tools that protruded from the containers on all sides remained permanent well after we’d turned the light off and it felt like those shapes were the teeth of a great creature like we were sitting inside of its mouth, looking out.
Trouble positioned herself partially on my chest, her slow rhythmic breathing brought my thoughts calm and I whispered to her in the dark after I was sure the others were asleep, “I promise it was a joke.” And I brushed the back of her neck with my hand and the animal let go of a long sigh then continued that deep rhythmic breathing.
Still without food or water, the following day was the true indication of the misery to come. Gemma’s stomach growled audibly in waking and Andrew—though he kept his complaints to himself—smacked his lips more often or protruded the tongue in his mouth in a starvation for water. The room, in the daylight which peered through pinpricks of its half-decayed roof, seemed another beast altogether from its nighttime counterpart; it was not so frightening. Again, I admonished myself for the lack of preparation, but there was another thought that brought together a more cohesive feeling; we had a possible plan, a trap for the demon that’d been following us.
We went into the field to the west of the building where there was only dirt beneath our feet in the early sunlight and in the coolness of morning air, I nearly felt like a person. The sun crested the horizon and brought with it a warmth that would quickly become overwhelming—in those few minutes though—it felt good enough. I wished for the shy dew and saw none. The weirdness of holding Andrew’s rotting hand in a jar momentarily caught me and I almost laughed, but refrained and the dog and the children looked on while I held the container up and suddenly, seeing the congealed mass of tissue floating in its own excretions, I was overcome with the urge to run, the urge that nothing would ever be right again in my life, and that I was marked to be that way.
I blinked and tossed the jar to Andrew. “Say goodbye,” I said. He fumbled after it with his right hand and caught it to his chest.
“It’s strange you care so much anyway,” said Gemma, shrugging—her eyes forgave a millisecond of pity and when Andrew looked at her, still holding the jar in his right hand, she smiled and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her pants.
“We’ve enough oil, I think,” my voice was raspy from it being early, “Enough for good fire, but if we use it, it’ll mean a few more dark nights on our way.”
“We’re going to set it on fire?” Andrew pondered, keeping his eyes to the contents of the jar. “It worked good enough last time. It’ll work,” I nodded, “I has to, doesn’t it?”
His dry lips creased into a brief smile, and he tossed the jar back to me and I caught it.
“Let’s dig,” I said.
Without much in the way of proper tools, we began at the ground under us with our hands, then taking turns with my prybar till there was a hole in the ground comfortably large enough to conceal a human head and I uncapped the jar and spilled it contents there and we covered it back and I lightly tamped it with my boot. My eyes scanned the outbuilding we’d taken refuge in the night prior and then to the street to the north then to the houses which stood as merely rotted plots of foundation with frames that struck from the ground more as markers than support. “I’ll take up over there across the street when it gets dark. I want you two in that storage room before anything goes off.”
“We can’t help?” asked Gemma.
“You can help by staying out of the way—the mutt too,” I said; the words were harsh, but my feelings were from worry.
“Wouldn’t it be better if we stuck together?” asked the girl.
I shook my head. “You stay in the room and keep quiet. No matter what you hear, you stay quiet and safe.”
“That’ll put you at a bigger risk,” Gemma furrowed her brow at me and shifted around to look out on the houses across the street, “There’s hardly any cover over there.”
The boy nodded, smacked his lips, and rubbed his forearm across his mouth then audibly agreed with her.
“Doesn’t matter,” I said, “No matter what you hear happening outside, no matter, you don’t open the door and you don’t scream—don’t make a noise at all. Alright? Even if you hear me calling you, you don’t do it.”
“Pfft,” Gemma crossed her arms and kicked her foot against the ground. The way her eyes seemed hollowed with bruising showed that the irritation would only grow without food. “Alright,” she finally sighed.
Andrew looked much the same as she did in that; he swallowed a dry swallow then stuffed his hand into his pocket and looked away when our eyes matched.
We gathered our light oil. Altogether, it seemed enough; rummaging through the room of the outbuilding we’d earlier taken refuge within, we managed three intact glass containers—the only ones found that wouldn’t leak with liquid; two were bottles and the third was the jar that’d once kept Andrew’s hand. With that work done, we sat with three Molotov cocktails within our huddled circle of the storage room.
“Is it enough?” asked Gemma.
“We’ll see,” I began rolling a cigarette to ignore the hunger and the thirst.
Andrew took to the corner and glanced over his shoulder only a moment before a steady liquid stream could be heard and when he rotated from the wall once the noise was finished and he held a canteen up to his nose, sniffed it and quivered and shook his head.
As the sun pushed on, I scanned the perimeter outside, and they followed. Far south I spied a mass of shadow inching across the horizon and Gemma commented, “What’s that?”
I pushed the binoculars to her and let her gaze through them.
“A fiend—that’s what we called it back in the day anyway. A mutant.”
She held the binoculars up and frowned. “A mutant? So, it was once human?”
“A fiend was once many humans.” I pointed out to the horizon though she couldn’t see me doing so and continued, “If you look at the edges of its shape, you’ll see it’s got limbs galore on it. Sticking up like hairs is what it’ll look like at this distance. Those are arms and legs. It’s got faces too. Many faces.” I shuddered.
“I can barely see any details,” she passed the binoculars to Andrew, and he looked through them, “What’s it do?”
“What?” I asked.
“What’s it do if it catches a person?”
“It pulls people into it. Makes you apart of its mass. Nasty fuckers.”
Andrew removed the lenses from his eyes and held them to his chest and asked, “It won’t mess up your trap, will it?”
“We’ll keep an eye on it,” I said, “You don’t want to mess with a fiend unless you have to.”
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