Also, what’s with smoking bean? Or is that a cloud?

Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

• TallyFest 2024, Saturday at Cascades starting at 10am. This isn't just an event; it's a vibrant showcase of 200 years of Tallahassee's rich history and culture. Immerse yourself in a day filled with family-friendly activities, a dedicated Kid Zone featuring young entrepreneurs, and even a Pet Zone for our furry friends. TallyFest is more than just a festival; it's an experience for every member of the family! Enjoy live entertainment throughout the day, featuring local talents and artists that capture the essence of Tallahassee's artistic spirit. We're calling out to all vendors! Be part of history as we're on the lookout for 200 vendors to commemorate 200 years of Tallahassee. Kid entrepreneurs, this is your chance to shine! Explore the heart of Tallahassee with our Shop Local Passes, offering exclusive deals from local businesses. Indulge your taste buds with a diverse array of food from our vendors and partner restaurants. As the sun sets, the celebration continues with a spectacular post-event concert from 5 pm to 7 pm. Feel the rhythm, embrace the spirit, and make memories that will last a lifetime. Whether you're a local or a tourist, TallyFest invites you to join the festivities, Celebrate Tallahassee’s Bicentennial year, explore the vibrant culture, and create unforgettable moments. 🌟 Save the date, spread the word, and get ready for a day of pure Tallahassee magic!

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:

• Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
  
• Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
  
• Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
  
• Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
  
• FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
  
• Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
  
• Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
  
• Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
  

OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
  
• Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  
• St. Marks Community Market: Saturdays, 9am to 1pm. Come enjoy local artists, crafters, bakers, farmers, and gardeners in beautiful downtown St. Marks!
  

THURSDAY, 5/30

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Co: Open Mic Night! Join us on Thursdays from 6:30-9:30 PM for Open Mic Night hosted by the incredible Mike Ingram of The Brown Goose! This is your chance to show off your skills! Whether you're a musician, poet, comedian, or have a hidden talent, we can't wait to see what you bring to the stage. 6:30pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• Cap City Video Lounge: MST3K Thursday: Night of the Blood Beast & The Brute Man. Join us Thursday as we climb aboard The Satellite of Love along with Joel, Tom Servo and CROOOOW for a gnarly creature double feature of brutal beasts and men out for blood! 7:30pm/free but donations encouraged
  
• Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
  
• The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Blue Tavern: Mes Amis. 5pm
  
• Black Dog Café: French Conversation. A bientôt j’espère. 6pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Feddun's Follies. Feddun's Follies is a variety show featuring comedy, juggling, and music! 8pm/$5
  
• Blue Tavern: Paddy League “Medicine Ball” Album Release Show with Miss Mango. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Hedwig and The Angry Inch Movie Screening. 8pm/free
  
• Fire Bettys: Slasher Bash: The Velocipastor. Drink along with us as local comedians bash this 2018 cult classic! 9pm
  

FRIDAY, 5/31

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• Mission San Luis: The Thatch is Back Celebration. Join us to celebrate completion of the re-thatching of the Apalachee Council House at Mission San Luis with food, crafts, and games for all ages. FREE SNOW CONES by SneauxBalls 11:30-2:30. E's Weenies FOOD TRUCK onsite throughout the event. FREE BEER SAMPLES by Lake Tribe Brewing 3:00-6:00 pm. Thatching presentation. Ballgame demonstrations. Yard games. Braiding and paper crafts. Yaupon tea sampling. 10am-6pm
  
• Blue Tavern: A Bicentennial Celebration of Old-Time Music with Little Mercies, Flathead String Band, and the Bunny Bread Bandits. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Barber Brothers. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: CJ and the Deadmen. 6pm
  
• Salty Dawg: Brett & "Dangerous" Dave. 6:30pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Pineapple Tuesday. 7pm
  
• The Wine House on Market Street: David Detweiler. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Swamp Rats with Psycho Tropical, Village Idiots, and Petty Problems. 7:30pm
  
• American Legion Hall: The Rhythm Remedy Rockin Soul Dance Revue. 7:30pm/$10
  
• Fire Bettys: Pharaohs Of Funk. 8pm
  
• Corner Pocket: The 850. 8pm
  
• House of Music: Public Address Band. 8pm
  
• Dukes and Dotties: Queen of Hearts. 9:30pm
  

SATURDAY, 6/1

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
  
• 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
  

• Ology Powermill: Greyhounds Pat and Chill. Come out and meet some of our wonderful Greyhounds up for adoption hosted by Gold Coast Greyhound Adoptions (GCGA) and Adoptable Greythounds of Florida (AGOF). Check out our available hounds from the Tampa Bay area! Gold Coast Greyhound Adoptions, Gulf Coast Chapter: https://www.gulfcoastgreyhoundadoption.org/adopt.html and Adoptable Greyhounds of Florida https://agof.org/available-greyhounds/ . Please contact us in advance if you are interested in a specific greyhound that you would like to attend this event! Get pre-qualified to adopt that day if you fall in love by completing an application now through www.gulfcoastgreyhoundadoption.org OR https://agof.org. We're very excited to have our first Meet and Greet at this location! Please reach out if you have any questions about the details of the event. 2pm-5pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Latitude 30. 6pm
  
• The Bark: Sarah Morrison with Jonas Van Den Bossche and Zoya Zafar. 6:30pm
  
• The Wine House on Market Street: Douce Ambiance. 7pm/$10
  
• Blue Tavern: Pat Puckett. 8pm
  
• 1617 Atkamire Dr: Punk’s Not Dead featuring Psycho Tropical, Danitza, Lex & Fly Agaric, and Castover. Funds go to help The Vault and the local music scene. 8pm/$10
  
• 409 Murat St: Death by Punk featuring 40 Bitches and Gangs of Paris. 8pm/$7
  
• Fire Bettys: Drunk Spelling Bee. Grab a drink, have a seat, and get ready to watch participants tackle some of the most "unique" words the English language has to offer! 8pm
  
• The Bark: Queens of The Bark Drag Night featuring Drag Race contestant Kandy Ho! 10:30/$15 cover, make sure to bring cash to tip the performers
  

SUNDAY, 6/2

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• Flippin’ Great Pinball: $25 Sunday Funday. Every Sunday spend a fun-filled time with the family for only $25 plus tax at the arcade! Our normal all-day family admission of $34.99 is just $25 and that includes up to a family of 6 (two adults and four kids). Experience affordable family fun that everyone will enjoy. Noon-8pm Not sure if this is back up yet.
  
• E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
  
• LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
  
• Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: Comedy Night. Come have some laughs with us on Sunday nights! If you are interested in participating in the show, reach out to therealsleepypfloyd@gmail.com 7:30pm
  

• Eve on Adams: Lauren Mullinax. 11am
  
• Dukes and Dotties: This Is My First Rodeo, a Wild West Market Fundraiser for RR Sq Businesses. Market, Screen Printing, Music and more! Music by Lex & Fly Agaric, Sleepybug, and No Parts. 1pm-6pm
  
• Common Ground Books: Community Clothing Swap. Join us for our monthly community clothing swap! Anyone is free to bring and/or take clothing. 2pm
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Allie & Salty. 3pm
  
• Tallahassee Nurseries: Sunday in the Word Garden. In partnership with esteemed Florida artist Katee Tully, Tallahassee Nurseries presents a celebration of poetry and spoken word. We welcome several locally-renowned poets and writers as they share pieces of prose. 3:30pm/free
  
• The Sound Bar: JC and The Backscratchers. 4pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Fundraiser for Railroad Square Tenants and City Dogs Cafe featuring live music from Larry McCraw, Bog Lillies, Buck Banzai, Chris Seepersaud, Pineapple Tuesday, Kelly Goddard, Brass Wizard, and Subpotent. 4pm-11pm
  

MONDAY, 6/3

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  

TUESDAY, 6/4

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Company: Tuesday Night Beer-go! 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Beef O'Brady's: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  

• Blue Tavern: Bubbles Brown. 8pm

WEDNESDAY, 6/5

• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Tallahassee: Trivia. Teams up to 6 players for three rounds with 10 questions and a tie breaker each round. Winners are by round so don’t worry if you need to come late or can’t stay the whole time! Prizes include a round of beer, a 6 pack and a gift card! 7pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
  
• Cap City Video Lounge: Anime Wednesday. 8pm
  
• South Station: Summer Movie Nights. 8:30pm/free
  
• The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
  
• Peppers: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
  

• The Sound Bar: Old Porch Swing. 7pm

Here’s a challenge: I want you to believe what I am about to tell you. Not just read it, not just understand it, but believe it. It’s a fact you already know to be true, but have never been able to fully accept. And it’s this: You are going to die. You, the person reading right now, are going to die. It’s difficult for you to imagine, isn’t it? Take a moment and try to picture what it’s like to not exist. You can’t do it. You’re imagining darkness, black. But there will be no black. There will be no color, because there will be no you to perceive it. And your mind recoils from that idea. It’s simply unable to conceive of its own nonexistence, and so it concludes that it’s impossible; that you’ll live forever. But you won’t. All things end, all motion slows, all heat becomes cold. Life is an eddy in that current of entropy. A brief chemical reaction that lights up the darkness and then it's fuel spent dissipates back to nothing. Just like you will. Your body is a marvelous and intricate machine built out of millions of interconnected, fragile systems and as you age each begins to slowly but surely deteriorate and breakdown. When one fails a doctor may be able to repair it, but at some point there will be too many failures to proceed and like a cascade of dominoes your joints, your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your memory, your entire body will fail. It will happen. And while it's difficult to hear this truth, it is essential that you accept it because every second that goes by in which you don't is a second of your precious and finite life that you risk wasting. So I'm going to say it once more and this time, try as hard as you can to believe me. You (yes, you), will die. And there's nothing you can do to stop it.

This is an XXXL post. The TL;DR is the title. I don't know why this felt important to me to put down, but here we are. A kind of obituary? Grief? I keep as many identifying details out of it as possible but this is a history of our entire relationship. It's not a unique story but maybe it can help someone else down the line. Help someone else make the decisions I couldn't. It is complicated, and I wrote it in one shot trying to include any details I thought would answer potential questions. There are triggering topics. My hindsight is painfully 20/20 and I fully accept my part to play in all of this. I can only speak for myself and my feelings, and I am broken hearted. This is not a fun read and concludes to a bleak end.
I became almost instant best friends with "Greg" the year we were graduating high school some twenty years ago. Mutual addictions to alcohol and cigarettes put us in close proximity often, where we rapidly discovered how much we had in common. Same absurd sense of humor, same taste in music, same drive for honesty and loyalty. My family sucked and his ignored him. He lived on the old side of town in a rough neighborhood where getting jumped was a weekly occurrence for him while I lived with my more affluent family several blocks away really only dealing with my pillhead mom and the embodiment of rage that was my dad. Violence was the norm for him and he often described shootings and stabbings with the same air as reporting the weather.
My then girlfriend introduced us, but Greg and I continued to hang out long after the end of that relationship. Soon high school was over and we both prepared to leave for the military. Our last few months were spent drinking and smoking and DRINKING before our goodbyes were said. Nothing overly emotional - we promised to write each other then "aight bro peace peace". Maybe a few weeks after I left for basic training and a few before he did I got a letter that he was in the hospital. Story was his brother convinced him to smoke K2 (synthetic marijuana) and that he almost died. Three day coma and all that. He wrote me not too long after and assured me he was fine and still leaving for basic.
Life went on and we kept in touch via social media, but it was a far cry from our pre-military friendship. We were in completely different specialties and had vastly different careers; in turn I didn't see him again in person for six years. There’s no good place to put this fact but I should stress now: we were both non-combat roles. Anyway, I had been out of the military a few months and was pretty well established in my new city when he reached out about coming to visit me with part of his terminal leave (accrued vacation at the end of military service, essentially). Naturally I offered him my couch at the apartment I shared with my roommate so long as he understood it wouldn't be a whole lot like when we used to hang out. I was halfway through my 20’s, getting ready to get married, signing paperwork to buy a house, and absolutely destroyed by a high stakes/low reward job. He acknowledged, then gave me a date I could expect him and a plan for two weeks.
First night, I bought some libations, and we caught up. Come to find out he was injured quite badly early on in his service and never told me. It severely altered his life trajectory as it meant he had to give up his dream job. He was put on permanent injury status and shoved into a dumb desk position where he gained 35 pounds by drinking himself half to death. He was known around base as a drunk shitbag. He has almost zero close friendships and hasn't had a girlfriend in five years. No interest, no libido, no luck. He was receiving complete benefits from the DOD for life and was in all reality left physically disabled. I empathized, but was somewhat lost when he described his transition into accepting his new way of life. Roughly paraphrasing:
"...I was just meant to be a [member of the military] y'know? Like I've always known it, that was my plan from the start. Then it got taken from me all over again."
The last sentence caught my attention, and I asked him to elaborate. Essentially, he told me he legitimately grew up believing that he would enlist and ship off to fight nazis. Claimed it was shattering when he realized - as a preteen - WW2 was over and he would never experience that conflict. Basically enlisting into this military was him begrudgingly settling as he would never parachute into France with an M1. I wrote it off as an ambitious metaphor for his disillusionment with government fueled by many beers. This was the start of one of the strangest months of my life. To summarize:
He would walk to the gas station a block away every morning, buy two cases of high ABV trash beer and proceed to drink all of them throughout the day. He was obliterated every time I got home from work.
He would order Domino's every day. When I figured out it was all he had eaten for a week and asked why, he said he didn't want to inconvenience me and couldn't think of any other food. I am a grown adult that knows how to cook, and my kitchen was stocked.
My dog hated his guts and would bite the shit out of his hand any time he went to pet her. I say "any time" because the biting did not deter him even a little bit from trying a snuggle.
He up and decided to extend his trip by two additional weeks because it seemed like I needed help. Rightly I did as several big life milestones were on my horizon and I was doing a whole lot of it alone, but this greatly annoyed my roommate who already was not enjoying his drunk and obnoxious company.
He would without fail ask to sleep in my bed with me at least every other night while assuring me it was a platonic thing and not sexual in any way. That’s great and all, but he assured me before I ever thought about the idea of it possibly being sexual. I told him no and that the missus would not approve hoping that would be the end of it. I have a history surrounding SA so situations like this tend to make me extremely nervous. Usually, it’s a hard time speaking up for myself, but I distinctly remember standing my ground about it. Some random night we went out and I got black out drunk (he bought me many drinks, but not without a drink for himself. It did not feel predatory). I woke up and he was spooning me in my bed. While I can never know for sure that nothing happened, I was still wearing all of my clothes and I did not feel like I had anything done to me. He assured me it was just because he was drunk and always sleeps better when he has something warm to cuddle.
He "jokingly" threatened to stab my then fiancé if she didn't measure up to the expectations he had placed on her. She wasn't around, thank God, but again he was blackout drunk so I excused it after telling him to knock it off. He passed out in my bed shortly thereafter, forcing me to the couch with my dog. I had an uneasy feeling he had done it on purpose to try and spoon me again.
I had recently gotten a large tattoo across my entire arm and upper back. One day I took a shower and when I got out, I needed to ask him something about our plans. As I was walking into my room, I asked him if he saw and liked my new tattoo and he gave me a look like "c'mon, man, really?" Like I had asked him something that had hurt him.
Honestly, I was happy to see him go when he finally took off. We kept in touch about as often as we had before, being that we were on opposite coasts again. My strange feelings from his visit faded. The weird times were greatly outweighed by how legitimately helpful he was and that was genuinely confusing. He bought groceries, he assembled furniture, he helped me pack and move, he listened to me bitch and offered insightful opinions, he seemed to genuinely care about me and my happiness and the life I had started to build for myself. It felt like when we were close before, like I had my best friend back and we were looking out for each other again.
Fast forward a few years and my life has completely upended. I'm divorced, selling my home, and moving across the country again. I'll spare you the details but suffice to say I'm back in my hometown with my tail between my legs. Guess who still lives there with his parents? I hit him up, hoping I could coax a good time out of my depression with an old friend and some booze. We end up drinking and talking for hours. I confront him about the weirdness from his visit, he apologizes and tells me he was in a rough mental state. We talk it out and I push it to the back of my mind.
This led into us hanging out nearly every night at my place for several months, almost always getting drunk or high on whatever was around. Watching shows, playing games, ordering food, indulging agoraphobia, staying up for days. Sleep did win sometimes and usually i insisted he stay on the couch. At this point though, I didn't much see the harm and let him sleep next to me a few times - so long as he promised not to touch me. Once or twice i woke up to him pressed up against me and hoped he had rolled into me in his sleep. Eventually he began to push for cuddling and I said I wasn't comfortable with it, putting him back on the couch.
Money wasn't a concern; we were both being paid disability through the DoD and it was more than enough to live on. One thing that I could not understand was that even though Greg received compensation for his injury, he could never figure out how to access and apply for his VA healthcare benefits. I tried to both talk and walk him through the process but it always ended in his extreme frustration followed by slamming his laptop shut. Instead of ever figuring it out he just bought healthcare through his university. It was bizarre.
Had I not gotten a business opportunity, I would probably still be melting into my couch in the dark right next to Greg. A friend reached out to me, asked me to join his start up in a new city. It was fresh and exciting, and honestly, I didn't have anything better going for me. I took him up on it and prepared to move yet again. Greg insisted he help, even going so far as to say he wanted to make the two day drive with me. I protested. He had only recently gotten his shit together and he had school to worry about. It was getting close to the start of the semester and I didn’t want to encourage him to make a poor choice. He insisted it would be fine, we made the drive, and unsurprisingly by now he blows off his important dates and obligations back in our hometown to fuck around in my new city and live on another roommates couch. All of our drinking and drugging came with him and our behavior simply had a new background.
Around this time, I started to be comfortable with the idea of dating again. I casually see a few women before hitting it off with someone and hanging out a few times. She and I are having drinks nearby, Greg hits me up. It’s agreed he would come out for a beer, say “what’s up?” and take off. I was excited for them to meet, kind of wanted to show her off a bit to my boy. Instead he shows up, houses TWELVE drinks, then confronts her while I’m in the bathroom. I still don’t know what he said but she was freaked out enough to leave immediately and later tell me to keep my distance from him because there was obviously something wrong there. He refused to tell me that night and when he sobered up he had no recollection.
A few weeks later we’re on the couch watching TV, I’m texting with some lady. It was gettin a little spicy, so I looked up and glanced around the room - privacy is high on my list and I do not enjoy PDA. Greg appeared to be asleep, so I responded to her flirting in kind. The next morning he broke down sobbing while he told me he saw me look at him last night “to make sure he was paying attention to the flirty messages from someone else”. Baffled, I told him that was absolutely not what had happened and calmed him down. I thought he was asleep and just wanted to avoid the embarrassment of engaging in private behavior. He added “I know you’re not going to just wake up one day and find me attractive but I would like to at least live that lie. I can’t do that when you’re actively rubbing my face in romantic conversations you have with other people.”
I was stunned. I thought we were well beyond any kind of feelings. Besides that, I never directly showed him any conversations I had with other people. This opened the floodgates to a very long and tearful conversation where he confessed many things to me that I will take to my grave simply out of respect. However, the one thing I need to say here for context is that he told me his romantic feelings for me had made him question his gender identity and sexuality. He felt more and more like a woman every day and had begun to consider transitioning hoping that ultimately I would fall in love with him along the way. In the gentlest way possible, I told him in no uncertain terms that I am not and will never be attracted to him regardless of gender or sexuality. I simply do not view him romantically and I would have no idea how to even approach changing something like that. Of course if it felt right and it was something he needed for himself I would be unquestioningly supportive of his transition, but if it had anything to do with me at all he needed to do more soul searching.
The next few days were extremely awkward but eventually Greg returned home. He was very nearly facing consequences for missing however many opening weeks of school. At this point, I am hip deep in my friends' company and working my ass off. I gladly accepted the easy excuse to put all of that discomfort away and out of my mind, withdrawing almost entirely from social media. Greg would send me some apologies, some normal messages, some gifs and memes. I found that I didn’t know how to talk to him anymore. Sometimes I would respond, but there was a pervasive anxiety whenever I saw his name pop up on my phone. According to him, I was the confusing presence. If I had no idea I was sending encouraging signals his way before, I definitely had no idea what to say now. All of those little things I had done, all those tiny ways I gave up my personal boundaries for him accumulated and crushed me beneath their collective guilt. Why didn’t I stick to what I had said? Why did I let him sleep next to me even after he broke his promise? Why didn’t I hold my ground when I woke up to him touching me? When he threatened my partner? So many ways I tried to protect him and all I did was open us both up to this enormous wound. Innocently or not, I had clearly hurt him and us being that close was obviously bad for his psyche.
Time lurched forward, weeks became months, and his messages came with greater gaps between. I no longer participated in lengthy conversations with him and responses were few and far between. It was spring, and I had been seeing my new partner for several months now. It was my first real relationship post-divorce and things were going extremely well. We were visiting my parents and found ourselves with a bit of free time on our last day in town. On a whim, I shot a cursory message to Greg. We hadn’t spoken in a while, but the last exchange we had was honestly pretty alright. Many apologies had been made on his end and I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
“Hey, it’s been a while, hope you’re doing well. Long shot, but if you’re still in [hometown] and not busy for the next few hours, my girlfriend and I are visiting my parents if you wanted to meet up?”
“Yeah dude, absolutely come through.”
I drove over to his place; he met us outside with his dogs and greeted us warmly with hugs. On my way in I had stopped at the liquor store and bought a pack of smokes and a small case of beer just like I always used to. When I dropped them in the fridge I brought three back to the group and offered him one but he politely declined. He explained that over the winter he had taken to getting drunk every night at the local hole. During a blackout he had a violent episode and almost cut the throat of a guy we’ve known since high school, someone he had called a friend previously. He then went on to say he believed a lot of his problematic behavior stemmed from his extreme drinking and quitting was treating him well. Minus smoking a fair bit of weed he honestly did seem a lot better than the last time I had seen him. As we drove away, we both felt he seemed level-headed and sincere. Obviously I had caught my partner up on everything that had happened before, and even she felt no weirdness despite being primed and ready for it.
That’s why when he showed up on my doorstep as a surprise for my birthday, I felt nothing but joy. It was organized privately between my girlfriend and Greg, they both worked so hard to set this visit up. She kissed me on the cheek as she assured me she couldn’t wait to get to know my best friend. Then he got in the car with her, I got in mine, and we drove to the venue for the party. In the 30 minutes they were alone, he confessed his undying love for me to her, said he didn’t hate her but would never like her, that he thought he was over it until he was standing in front of me and all his feelings came flooding back. He couldn’t promise he wouldn’t do anything about it. She essentially came to me in a panic once we were out of our cars and told me everything. We muddled through the party, got back to the house with him and confronted him. He denied everything, and essentially said that she was interrogating him the whole car ride and she tricked him into telling her about old feelings. It got heated more than once. She accused him of lying and he accused her of twisting his words. She said she wasn’t comfortable with him staying with us anymore. I talked to and arranged for him to stay in my friends’ spare room but he refused. He promised we could all work it out and that he was probably just excited about seeing me for the first time in months. It would go away.
It did not go away. If anything, his behavior became more aggressive and stranger. We anxiously counted the hours to his flight as he became moody and unpredictable. He would send me pages of text about his feelings on messenger just to delete them twenty minutes later. I no longer knew this person, and I no longer wanted to know this person. I drove him to the airport in silence and intended to never speak to him again. He had proven himself over and over again to not be my friend, and I was finally exhausted. The moment he stepped out of my vehicle the messages started, only increasing in volume and insanity the longer I went without responding. In the 45 minute drive back to the house, I had received innumerable messages from Greg running the full spectrum of human emotions. This would last several days.
The intensity frightened me, and the tone shifted dramatically to obsessive and dark. I shut down and shut him out. Eventually, after a few weeks, it just stopped. All that was left afterward were hundreds of *”This message has been unsent”* boxes and a single meek “I’m sorry.”. For months afterward he would message me, asking to catch up, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. I was hurt and angry and confused and sad and so many other things, but mostly I just didn’t trust him anymore. I was too ashamed to talk about what happened because my mind went immediately to every event described in my novella here. How could I have let this go on this long? How could I have missed so many signs? This whole time I thought he was my best friend when he was blatantly OPENLY pursuing me romantically. I don’t have a lot of friends. I wanted that so badly I believed obvious lies and increasingly ridiculous explanations. So many people tried to warn me and I arrogantly ignored them all. “You don’t know him like I do.”
On a warm summer evening, I was out having drinks with my partner and my cousin. I get a call from an unknown number and immediately upon answering I recognize Greg’s mother’s voice. She is near hysterical, but I manage to make out the gist of what she was saying. Greg was gone. He had stopped eating, sleeping, and interacting with his family several weeks ago and now he had packed a few things and disappeared. He said he couldn’t live with himself knowing he had hurt me so badly. He was telling his parents that he had raped me.
“OP? I need an answer. Did. He. Rape you?” she demanded, emotion clotting her throat.
“I have no idea how to respond to this. To my knowledge, no? I mean I can’t say he’s never made me uncomfortable, and we have certainly been black out drunk together, but I have no evidence at all of being raped by your son.”
Nausea overwhelmed me and the ground tilted beneath my feet. Where did he go? What was he doing? Was he okay? Should I reach out? Would it make things worse? She seemed to calm down once that question was behind us, and I decided to forge ahead since I had her ear. I told her I was scared of and for her son. It seemed he desperately needed help and at this point I was unsure of how to participate in his life without causing more damage. I loved him dearly and only wanted the best for him. She thanked me for my honesty and ended the call. She has not reached out again.
February of this year and Greg is firmly in my rearview. Life is alright. My partner and I stayed together and are looking for our first house, talking about getting married. It has been nearly ten years since Greg used his terminal leave to come visit me. We haven’t spoken in two years. Randomly, I received the following:
“Hey, been thinking about you guys. I think I’ll be visiting [hometown] in [month] and was hoping we could get together. How have you been?”
I don’t know what made me respond, but I did.
“Hey. We’re alright, thanks. How are you? Where are you?”
“Moved to [place] last year. Trying to get my shit together.”
Then, many hours later and completely unprompted, he amended his earlier benign statement and sent this, verbatim. Thank God I had the foresight to immediately screenshot.
“Ya know I miiight be alright or actually content if I wasn’t getting assaulted by women who then later claim I assaulted them meanwhile I’ve literally never had any of my basic human rights or freedoms [shrug emoji] so yeah I mean if I don’t get to open carry an AK by April I will literally have no options but to eat the supreme court, Congress, president or any other rich lying asshole lawmakers who are very deliberately and clearly infringing on the ‘right to bear arms shall not be infringed’ part of things and I’ve literally never had “legal” access to purchase, possess, own, or carry a firearm in all my [years] of criminally clean, naturally US born life. Despite being a medically/dishonorably discharged [military member]. But no I still don’t get any freedoms/rights or protections under the laws. So obviously the laws are fake bullshit made by rich powerful assholes to control everyone.
Enemies foreign and domestic [shrug emoji] if they wouldn’t infringe on literally all of our rights/freedoms I would possibly have the option to try to be happy but because they’ve made existence illegal and removed the civilians protections of the first, second, third, and fifth amendments. I haven’t bothered digging as far into the rest yet, since well fucking christ it’s already pretty bad that the majority of people globally don’t have access to any “legal” protections to self defense but also that 49/50 states in the United States of America flat out blatantly infringe on the second amendment. I really just ain’t about slavery, and they’re enslaving the whole planet [shrug emoji] all I wanted to do was grow food rub boobs with my wife and raise a tooooooon of kids. But nah I don’t get to do nice things like watch the eclipse in April, cause I have to go die for everyone’s freedoms yaaaaaay thanks all y’all fucks for voting guns away and giving your liberties to the enslaving classist elites [thumbs up emoji]
How is that for ya? After all you’re one of the women who assaulted me, and then wrote [a piece of work I have done] about how I assaulted you. Glad to know that when I said multiple times “No” and or “No I don’t want that” that as a man I am not legally allowed to say no. Fine go ahead have your lying third wave feminist bullshit Y’all hoes wanna be disloyal and complain about karma biting you in the ass I don’t fucking care. I gave you a whole ass symphony and you I don’t know wasted all the money or something? I dunno and I don’t think I care anymore. I’m getting a rifle and anyone who tries to stop me is dinner. I’m done with all of your psychotic fucking tyrants and your evil enslaving bullshit. Y’all already stole half of my fucking life from me and then refused medical coverage or any basic rights even after I LITERALLY SERVED FOR EVERYONES FREEDOMS turns out I’m not apparently a US citizen or part of everyone. Since I have never had any of my basic human rights or freedoms. I didn’t choose Jihad, y’all enslaved everyone choosing to be enemies domestic
I don’t know how many other ways there are to say the same damn thing I’ve been bitching about since I was ten. But cool sure, the planet gets fucked by tyrants and somehow I’m the psycho for saying it’s literally in EVERYONE’S BENEFIT to PROTECT THE PLANET
I was hoping we were friends or whatever but apparently not oh well I guess Hope everyone enjoys hell [shrug emoji]
How’s that, is it frank enough for you? Did I make myself enough of a villain for you? Cause I just love being forced to martyr myself for a bunch of cucks who voted MY basic freedoms/liberties away for temporary false securities and controls aka enslavements.
Fuck it whatever no point in telling anybody this shit it’s been [years] and I just get called psycho for defending basic rights freedoms and liberties. Society wants to enslave itself be unfree and unable to adapt and survive. Whatever that’s y’all’s choice I don’t give a fuck. I’m exercising my basic human rights and anybody stops me gets ate at this point. Y’all asked for it, I keep warning everyone Galatians 5:15 you all wanted to rape me and lie on me and call me psycho coward and monster just for defending/protecting basic human rights. Cool [sunglasses emoji]”
My heart stopped. This was exactly my worst fear come to life. I was certain that he had just sent me his manifesto, and any minute I would get the headline about the mass shooting he was currently committing. My mind wildly conjured images of his murdered family in that house I had spent years in. I vomited. My partner found me, read the message, then called the police. The police contacted the FBI. I spent the evening on the phone with an agent and a detective, chain smoking and working my way through a bottle of TUMS while we traced this entire story back to the roots.
And that leads us exactly to now. So far as I know (and as far as my late-night anxiety googling of “his name + crime + arrests + area I think he’s in” will allow) he’s stayed quiet. Every day I live in fear that he will show up and murder us. I deleted any and all social media and blocked his number. I have guns hidden all around my house. There are no answers here, no moral of the story. Just mental illness and tragedy. Not a day goes by that I don’t play “what if”, lambasting myself for selfishly ignoring that small voice from within me that tried to say something wasn’t right. I should have done a better job protecting my best friend.

On certain cases, The Omnithecia detects broadcast of worlds that are not too far fetch from ours. In some worlds, the information found from them is limited as in the case of this world where it's history is only detected from 1969-2025, it is unknown what has happened to this world after the year 2025, this was shocking since there was no impending disaster or anything that could affect the world after 2025, all the happened is simply that the memories just stop at that point.
These timelines are known as "Chopped Timelines" or "Chopped Memories" and while many believe that there could be more to find in them but the process of finding them is pretty difficult and it would take a lot of time to figure out what's more to worlds like this one.
The Dust Settles
It all started back in 1969, where Nixon became the 37th POTUS, Nixon as arrogant as he was naive, thought he can change the world or atleast make America and the Soviet Union be in more mutual terms. But little did he know that he is nothing more than the first domino that would lead to what has the world had become.
The world around him begun to show cracks, from the Yom kippur war and the Arab oil crisis to the Soviet invasion of Iran and the fortification of Western aligned Berlin. Despite tensions rising, people never thought that the last straw was actually caused by a simple air plane crash, which happened under unintentional circumstances.
This is enough to plunge the world into chaos under World War 3 under nearly all fronts, poor Nixon thought that he can mitigate the tension by simply using his charisma but his hubris had blinded him from truly seeing the implications of what is happening.
The War was marked with brutality, chaos, and determination. At first, both sides gave it all they have, but later on, the once endless stalemate has become more and more one sided by the day. The Soviets at their last legs, with the west at their doorstep and haven been betrayed by their old ally, China, they have no choice but to unleash the greatest weapon they have, nukes, even if it means the world could end under their use but the Soviets would not just accept humiliation, as they would rather choose death over defeat.
Unsurprisingly, when they dropped their nukes unto their enemies, they retaliate. As the world powers assumes that the nuclear war would only lead to the defeat of atleast one enemy, but little did they know that what they thought was a plan to kill their enemy, actually instead was killing the entire world.
And on October 10-11 1980. That is the time where the nukes had dropped, the where all of humanity has to pay for the sins of a few, hellfire was unleashed to every great city of the Global North from as west as Los Angeles to as east as Tokyo. The South can only watch in horror as they could do nothing to stop Armageddon on its tracks.
But alas when the dust settles, the Global South is left to pick up the pieces now that the Global North had basically committed suicide, with them gone, the South is left to rebuild everything from scratch.
The process may not be easy but they were able to go on with progress, innovation, and determination. And though things have gotten better now than they do before, it doesn't mean that the world hadn't changed from that day. Sea levels have now rose to 20 feet, storms are now more violent than they ever were, the sun is now so hot that people have to wear white colored protective clothing all over themselves, with the biggest change being that humanity now knows what they are truly capable of destroying the world.
But that doesn't mean that the world is peaceful now, if anything, it's at war again. With new enemies with conflicting ideologies and goals. Some use religion as a tool to brainwash the weak minded like Al Mahdiyah, The Holy Nation, LeVaya (LaVeya), and to a lesser extent, Occitania. Others use prominent figures of the past like the Aryan brotherhood who worship Adolf Hitler and consider him as both a saint and a martyr. And those who use fringe ideologies to further their gain like the Young Eunuchs which represents Antinatalism and the Daughters of Amazon which represents Feminism in it's most extremist forms.
But despite their differences, each and every single one of them have one thing in common. They are all terrorist, terrorist that want to take power and rule over others as they see fit. But the Global South will not just sit there and nothing, the last time they did so, the world nearly ended. For long the Global South had to watch the chaos and radicalism unfold before the Nuclear war but this time, they will not let these radicals bring chaos to the world again.
This world have been rebuilding itself since the Nuclear war and it still does. But all of the progress they have maid could all be halted or even reverse if they weren't so careful. Although this world may have changed since that faithful day, it doesn't mean that I should change for the worse.
And when the Dust Settles, we see a world and it's inhabitants slowly repay the sins of their predecessors.
Note: This is a crossover from my timeline "The Dust Settles" to Butter's "Children of Dusk". I wanted to atleast make this, not only as an exercise of my writing skills but also as a tribute to Butter himself.

For context ive been at my location (in washington) for coming up on 2 years and in my time here ive seen a lot of things im well are are not okay but i just want some other perspectives on people from other stores and see some input on my experiences and potentially see what i can and should do with the issues that are present as well as see if this is just what working for dominos is like.
Ill start by saying the mangers at my store are great. Where the issues arise are with our supervisor and franchiser.
So a good example on something that happened recently was our gm caught one of our drivers stealing money from customers by writing in tips and he has been doing this for a long time at this point when our gm threatened to fire him our supervisor told him no and refused to let our gm fire him (dispite this being a felony to my knowledge). 0 action was ever taken against him and none of the customers ever received any compensation or where told what happened. About a month later oer came and he happened to be picked by our proctor for the car check. When his car was checked he was found to have boxes of ammo in his car (which im sure everyone is aware this is not okay) from what i heard from of our mangers this caused us a "critical failure" yet still no action was taken against him ane too this day he still works for us.
Another issue that happened recently as well as something that has happened in the past on multiple occasions is our make line broke and wasn't keeping any food cold and was like this for about 3 days. Our supervisors solution to this was just to put ice under the tubs and that was it. While this did keep food colder it definitely was not keeping it near the standard it should be at. Our make line wasn't just not keeping food cold either it was dumbing coolant all over our floors. During this period not once we're we ever aloud to stop serving food.
Some other present issues are the way our supervisor talks to people as way as the way she chooses to treat all of us. When she is at work there is 0 professionals. she constantly brings personal issue's into work then makes it everyones problem a number of examples which are all very similar is she has had breakdowns at work and threatened to fire people on the spot (including myself) when these situations have occurred nothing that warrants this reaction has ever happened. my personal example with this situation was when i was on loads and i was also helping with topping because at the time a lot of our insiders were new and not very quick so i was picking up the slack where it was needed and helping when i could while also loading, and never once letting my loading suffer as a result of helping my co workers. When she saw me helping she made everyone on our line completely stop so she couldv very rudely yell at us which lead to me explaining my situation where she then threatened to fire me if i didn't immediately stop talking. While doing all this in an extremely public setting in front of a store filled with customers she then went into how we are under no circumstance aloud to move from our assigned positions (unless you are the one answering phones) which i do understand the not wanting us to move but the way she handled it was not okay and at my store we dont really assign positions the way we usually function is when insidersor or managers come in they just go directly to where they are needed. (when she has these breakdowns its also typically within sight and ear shot of our customers as i stated in my example) i have personally had customers apologys to me after seeing the way she has treated us which atleast for me is very telling that everyone present understands this is not acceptable behavior.
My finally issues that i as well have personally experienced is when i began takeing new medication. my doctor recommended i take 2 weeks off of work to properly adjust to it. I was given a note by my doctor with all the necessary information on it to excuse me from work for 2 weeks. When the note was presented i asked for my sick time my gm (who is not the issue) told me he didn't know how to put in sick time. With my franchiser no one is aloud to know how to put in sick pay but our franchiser and supervisor ( i dont know if this is normal but i felt it was important to mention) at the time our supervisor was on a personal LOA so he contacted our franchiser and asked him how to enter my sick time my gm was then told i do not qualify and am not allowed to receive it. When i heard this i wasn't totally surprised as in the past my coworkers sick time had been denied. My main example is when one of our insiders asked for his sick pay he was told he must be "physical incapacitated" to use his sick time. (he was out for about 4 days with a cold and he as well presented a note from his doctor asking to be excused from work. He also never received his sick time) This indecent with myself has happened over 3 full months ago and i have still have yet to receive my money i reported this to L&I instantly and providing the proper evidence as im well aware my situation qualifys for me to use my sick pay ( L&I confirmed my thoughts with a quick phone call ).
There are plenty of other issues present at my location but these are the main examples that cane to mind when thinking of what to mention when asking for opinions and advice on this any comments and insights are welcome thank you

Context / So i was on a road trip to see hardcore band Hong Kong Fuck You in Shiprock NM with a couple friends. Ended up driving west to Shiprock via NM 550.
Driving to bloomfield to take another highway to shiprock we came across this building that just had "Laundromat" on the front with a busted window and some seemingly ajar doors.
We decided, as young people do, to make a u-turn and investigate / do some urbexing. So we find some slightly open door on the front of the building and go in.
This place is capital W weird. Falling down/apart ceilings aside the layout was so strange to me. To give you all an idea heres what it was like, explaining to the best of my ability.
You walk in and its a large dilapidated room, ceilings falling down in typical "abandoned-for-long building" style. Theres a fireplace in the room as well. To your left, the laundromat through a shattered glass door. Glass and insulation all over the floor so i didnt investigate the laundromat side. To your left in the big room is another moderately sized room with drywall walls contrary to the white cinderblock brick of the first room. 2 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms attached to this room with both of the bedrooms connecting to one bath room. Not bathroom, bath room. Just a bath. No toilet lol. And in the room across from this drywall room is another same sized that was apparently an arcade. Such a strange combo of residential rooms and businesses all intertwined and connected.
Anyways on the west side of the building is a small busted up garage with a bunch of old arcade machines.
Im guessing the main room is the mercantile store that is advertised on the east side of the builidng. Still doesnt explain the bathing area and lack of conventional residential bathrooms, the two bathrooms are seemingly gender seperated and quite claustrophobic meanwhile the bath in the bath room is quite large and seemingly has water jets and tile walls. No idea what this place used to be or how it was laid out.
Has anyone visited this place? Has anyone else even seen it? The only information i can find is that it was last open around 2009 to 2010, accepted EBT and is or was owned by a woman named Karen McGee-Saline.
Anyone with any stories please share. Im absolutely enthrawled and fascinated by this place and its potential lore.
Sorry for the long read.

hi ****! i used to be a genuine fan. we've even dmed a few times back and forth. i had my eyes opened when you first sent your followers after gechi. since then, i've learned so much concerning stuff about you, but even that probably wouldn't have sent me to the reddits and discords about you. it's really your most recent actions around those previous actions that have made me feel truly determined to see you have to take some accountability for your absolutely unhinged behaviour.
i am not here to indulge in or support any unsubstantiated hate. if a discussion about you descends into body shaming, real hatred, discussions of violence or going irl, etc., i'll be dipping right the f out.
i AM HOWEVER here discussing you, among the thousands of others who now wish to as well, because i cannot believe how you've treated gechi, how you treated that homeless man, how you've doxxed people while complaining about people doxxing you, how you've used nefarious means to find people's identities and try to get them fired, how you're trying to spin all of this to hide your many unsavoury actions, and how you (i'll cover my ass here legally and say *appear to have*) posted about p******** as both a blatant attempt at damage control after gechi exposed you and your fiance's threatening messages to her, and as a last-minute bid to keep yourself off the block list.
i think there's really nothing you can do now to stop the domino effect you've created by acting like a fascist dictator who tries to squash any discussion of your awful behaviours. if you'd stopped, oh, about ten steps ago, people would probably barely be snarking about you anymore. i know i certainly wouldn't. but your ego simply wouldn't allow you to accept some idle gossip, and especially some valid criticisms (and yes, they are valid - you know they are, girlie).
people in glass houses, babe. you're aiming for complete submission from *the entire internet* when you should have accepted 99% compliance with your demands. start backtracking now and MAYBE, just maybe, you'll emerge with a shred of dignity intact.

Welcome to all GMs and AGMs to this year's edition of the /hockey annual offseason sim!

Spreadsheets

I will be personally editing all the spreadsheets, keeping them updated throughout the sim and they can all be found on the sidebar and the chat channel.

• Rosters
  
• General (Draft, RFA/UFA Lists, Trades, Depth Charts)
  

Please message sandman730 if anything is incorrect or if you wish to change your roster sheet.

Tentative Sim Schedule

• Fri. June 7th - Sim Discord Invites
• Mon. June 10th - Sim Begins and Rosters Frozen (2pm ET)
• Thu. June 13th - Deadline for GMs to Submit Plans (2pm ET)
• Fri. June 14th - Trade Period Begins (2pm ET) (Provided GMs have an Approved Plan)
• Fri. June 14th - Buyout Period Begins (2pm ET)
• Thu. June 20th - Deadline to Submit Trades Involving Players/Prospects and 2024 NHL Draft Picks (8pm ET)
• Fri. June 21st - NHL Draft Rounds 1-3 (8pm ET)
• Sat. June 22nd - NHL Draft Rounds 4-7 (2pm ET) (No Trades Allowed)
• Sat. June 22nd - Last Chance to Place Players on Waivers for a Buyout (2pm ET)
• Sun. June 23rd - Deadline for Qualifying Offers (5pm ET)
• Sun. June 23rd - Buyout Period Ends (5pm ET)
• Sun. June 23rd - Last Chance for Clubs to Sign UFAs to an 8 Year SPC (11:59pm ET)
• Mon. June 24th - Free Agency Roster Freeze (12pm ET) (Discussion allowed, but no moves finalized)
• Thu. June 27th - Free Agency Begins (12pm ET)
• Wed. July 10th - Qualifying Offers Expire (5pm ET)
• Thu. July 25th - Waiver Window Opens (2pm ET)
• Fri. August 2nd - Last Chance to Place Players on Waivers (2pm ET)
• Sat. August 3rd - Rosters Due (5pm ET)
• Sun. August 4th - End of Sim (Reviewing Rosters/Making Recaps/Etc.)

CBA

For information about the cap and CBA, read this post and feel free to ask sandman730 any questions.

IRL Moves

Since we are in sim mode, IRL moves do not apply to the sim, except for five key exceptions:

1. Players retiring (if they retire IRL, they're out of the sim and cannot be signed),
   
2. Player suspensions (ex: Slava Voynov),
   
3. Transactions involving a foreign professional entering the NHL,
   
4. An NHL player signing in another league (ex: Liiga),
   
5. Players being placed on long-term injured reserve.
   

Regarding the 3rd point, if the player announces he is officially returning to the NHL or signs IRL with an NHL team, then he is available to sign. Until then, he cannot be signed.
Coach hirings/firings, AHL contracts, relocation, etc. are not part of this sim.

Keep it Realistic

You can't be perfect since plenty of teams could go many ways. If your team is rebuilding, you should continue to rebuild and help the process.
Try not to acquire guys to flip them later. We're not outright banning it since it happens IRL sometimes, but it's uncommon, especially for bigger names. Rebuilding teams rarely take cap dumps to help out other teams in exchange for late-round picks. If it is a fair trade, it can still be accepted. There will need to be incentives for teams to acquire cap dumps. Don't include unnecessary pieces or trade picks too far out (trading picks after 2025 will require a compelling reason). Don't trade the rights to retired players.
We are asking each GM for an initial offseason plan. This plan includes basic things like which direction the team is headed this summer, but with slightly more detail such as whether they will hope to pursue more options via trades or free agency, how they will deal with their cap space (or lack thereof), etc. You will not be able to sign or trade anyone until your plans are submitted and approved. If you wish to amend your plan, submit it via the team transaction chats, including your reasoning for the amendment.
[GM Plan Form]()
Throughout free agency, the mod team will reach out to GMs to see if they are changing their plans due to transactions that have taken place in the sim (i.e. missing out on free agents, changes in the trade market, etc.).
THIS IS NOT FANTASY HOCKEY, DO NOT TREAT THIS AS FANTASY HOCKEY OR NHL 24 BE A GM

Trades

We realize GMs want to be more active than their real-life counterparts but we will be pretty strict on allowing trades in the sim. When you submit a trade or signing, both parties must send the trade to the office of the commissioner (via the team transaction chats). You also must justify why the trade makes sense for your party including how it will affect the cap, lineup, and future roster decisions. Please use the below template. All players, picks, additional terms, rights to players, and salary retention amounts must be specified and identical in both parties' submissions. Please include the player's positions.
Before making a trade, we encourage you to find multiple comparable trades to convince us that the trade is realistic. Please do not compare each trade to the Matt Duchene to Ottawa trade and say "Well, it's more realistic than that one".
We will do our best to announce the trades as they come in. Do not post pending trades in other threads until they are posted. Please allow us at least 24 hours to approve trades and prepare graphics.
Try not to blow your load, especially on the first day. Be patient, especially with trades. Just try. You'll thank us later. Those who follow this advice usually will find incredible bargains and can take advantage of other GM's mistakes.

Trade Submission Template

We would like teams to use the following template when submitting trades to ensure all relevant information is included.
Team A receives:
Team B receives:
Corresponding moves: (players sent down, called up, or put on waivers; answer "none" if not applicable)
Cap/salary implications:
Goal:
Justification:
Comparables:
Other options pursued:
Long-term implications:
I certify that I own the assets I am trading away; my team remains roster & cap compliant; I have complied with any no-trade lists; etc.

Example

NYR receives: Tyler Motte (LW, RW)
WPG receives: 2023 4th Round Pick (WPG)
Corresponding moves: None
Cap/salary implications: The Rangers can take the remainder of Motte's $1,225,000 cap hit.
Goal: The Rangers are looking to add depth for a playoff push. The Canucks are looking to acquire future assets for a player on an expiring contract.
Justification: The Rangers are solidly in a playoff position and are looking to buy at the deadline. Motte can fill a 4th line role.
Comparables: SEA traded Mason Appleton to WPG for a 2023 4th before the 2022 TDL. MTL traded Nick Cousins to VGK for a 2021 4th before the 2020 TDL.
Other options pursued: The Rangers also tried to acquire Derick Brassard and Vladislav Namestnikov but were unable to make a deal work.
Long-term implications: The Rangers are willing to give up a mid-round pick to add depth now.
I certify that I own the assets I am trading away; my team remains roster & cap compliant; I have complied with any no-trade lists; etc.

No-Trade/No-Movement Clauses

These will be handled by sandman730, randompunkt, and sarcastic__. If you wish to trade a player with a No-Trade or No-Movement Clause, you must message them, requesting a list of teams a player can or cannot be traded to, or if a player would be willing to waive his No-Movement Clause. Please give them at least 24 hours to fulfill such requests.
Please request No-Trade clauses via the team transaction chats.

Trading UFA Rights

We have tried this in the past and some agents felt obligated to have the UFA sign in the city that acquired the players' rights. It would be best if every team gets a fair chance so this year we will NOT be allowing trading for UFA rights. This will also hopefully lead to fewer trades and more UFA signings.
Additionally, we will not allow you to sign and trade UFAs or pending UFAs.

Conditional Picks

You cannot trade picks with conditions, with some exceptions:

• Lottery protection
• Higheloweetc. of multiple picks in a given round
• Settling scenarios based on previous trade conditions

We realize it happens in real life, but it is hard to track from experience and hopefully, it will cut down on unnecessary trade conditions.

Unfair Value

To avoid exploitation and chaos in the trade market, we sometimes need to step in to preserve the sim's integrity. This may be subjective so the trade committee will discuss and vote on most trades. Your trade will go through more smoothly if you give ample justification and can offer comparable trades. Some common issues include:

• Undervaluing cap space or salary - People can undervalue these assets since no real money is involved in this simulation and there is no accountability to owners or future cap issues. Please provide examples of comparable trades.
• Undervaluing future draft picks - Since there is no accountability within the sim for these assets, unnecessarily adding late draft picks or using draft picks that are too high can be problematic. Again, provide examples of comparable trades.
• Differing opinions on the value of players or prospects - These usually will go through but may require further explanation.

Vetoes

sandman730, randompunkt, and sarcastic__ will be the “veto panel” and we will take it very seriously. If the vote is unanimous 3-0 either way, then we will accept/reject the trade or signing. If it is 2-1 either way, then we will ask others for their opinions and votes. We will then decide with the majority. There are several reasons why the trade committee may veto a trade or signing:

• Violates the CBA (ex: puts a team over the contract limit)
• Involves NTCs (i.e., the player would block the trade)
• Puts a team over the cap or roster limit (or under the floor), without them having a clear plan for how to get back under (or over)
• Violates other house rules (ex: trading UFAs)
• Unrealistic (see above)
• Unfair value (see above)
• Goes against their plan (or goes too far all-in on either the present or future)

meatb4ll will communicate veto decisions and discussions.

Entry Draft

Rounds 1-3 of the draft will take place in the chat channel on Fri. June 21st at 8pm ET. We kindly ask that everyone attends this in the chat since it will go a lot smoother not having to wait for GMs and it is one of the most exciting parts of the sim in terms of trades and activity. This is the one day we hope to have all GMs and AGMs alike participate since we require your cooperation. Draft day trades involving players/prospects must be submitted 24 hours before the start of the draft (Thu. June 20th at 8pm ET). Trades made during the draft (involving draft picks) must be submitted via DM to the commissioners.
On Sat. June 22nd at 2pm ET, we will host Rounds 4-7 for those who would like to participate. It is not mandatory, you will just be auto-picked if you don’t show up. There will not be any trading allowed for this portion of the draft.
If a GM cannot make it either night, you are welcome to appoint an AGM to draft for the team, submit a custom auto-draft list, or respect our auto-draft list (Bob McKenzie, then Future Considerations). Please confirm this via the team transaction chats or (if mid-draft) via DM to the commissioners.
Please make your selections as promptly as possible to ensure the draft runs smoothly for everyone. Do not delay your selection to make a meme/image (you are welcome to post them afterward). We will allow 2 min per selection for Rounds 1-3 and 1 min for Rounds 4-7. Each team will be allowed a 2-minute timeout (one per team). We also will take a brief intermission (~10 min) between rounds.
If you wish to draft players not listed on the Elite Prospects Draft Board, you must petition the commissioners via the team transaction chats before the start of the draft.

Qualifying Offers

GMs will need to submit a list of who they are sending Qualifying Offers to, among RFAs, and who they are letting test free agency (becoming UFAs). We will have a thread for this and they will be due by Sun. June 23rd at 5pm ET (don’t pull a Dale Tallon). If you have further questions about this process, read about it in the CBA post and message a commissioner or leave a comment.

Free Agency

We will have 3 RFA agents and 4 UFA agents who have chosen the clients they will represent. Not every RFA/UFA will need an agent and you can find the lists on the spreadsheet, but generally, if the player played 20+ NHL games last season, he will require an agent. For the rest of the RFAs (those marked "Commissioners"), if they were qualified both in the sim and IRL, we will wait until they get an IRL contract and match it in the sim; if they were only qualified in the sim, they will sign for their qualifying offers. For the rest of the UFAs, message the commissioners (via the team transaction chats) with a contract offer. Please justify why the signing makes sense for your party including, for GMs, how it will affect the cap, lineup, and future roster decisions. Please use the below template.
When both a GM and agent have come to a finalized deal, both sides need to submit the contract offer to the mods (via the team transaction chats).
This contract offer must include the cap hit, term, no-trade clauses, and performance bonuses. Please keep it realistic as it could cause a domino effect when using comparables.
There will be the possibility for offer sheets, however, right now we are not sure of the best way to determine who the player would pick. Ideas are encouraged. That being said, it’s more likely a player would choose a contender, hometown, long contract, good place in the lineup, or high salary rather than just picking at random. We also want to mention how rare offer sheets are in real life.
Agents have been sworn under the Oath of Bettman that they will be honest, realistic, and fun.
NHL CBA contract rules apply (more information here). Signing a player in free agency and then trading the player is prohibited.

Signing Submission Template

We would like teams to use the following template when submitting signing to ensure all relevant information is included.
Team:
Player:
Year(s):
AAV:
Other clauses: (NTC/NMC, performance bonuses, etc.; answer "none" if not applicable)
Corresponding moves: (players sent down, called up, or put on waivers; answer "none" if not applicable)
Cap/salary implications:
Goal:
Justification:
Comparables:
Other options pursued:
Long-term implications:
I certify that my team remains roster & cap compliant.

Example

Team: Columbus Blue Jackets
Player: Jack Roslovic (C, RW)
Year(s): 2
AAV: $4,000,000
Other clauses: None
Corresponding moves: None
Cap/salary implications: The Blue Jackets still have ~$22.8M in cap space for 2022-23, which should be sufficient for our needs.
Goal: The Blue Jackets are looking to keep a local player who has played well for the team.
Justification: While Roslovic had an excellent 2020-21 season, he regressed in 2021-22. A short-term deal allows him to demonstrate that he can continue to be a valuable player without hamstringing us with a burdensome contract should he underperform.
Comparables: Ryan Spooner signed with NYR for 2yr x $4M in the 2018 offseason. Chris Tierney signed with OTT for 2yr x $3.5M in the 2020 offseason. Ryan Strome signed with NYR for 2yr x $4.5M in the 2020 offseason.
Other options pursued: None, Roslovic was an RFA that we wished to keep.
Long-term implications: While this contract will walk Roslovic to UFA status, we hope that he continues to perform well and that we can sign a more long-term extension with him once Voracek's contract is off our books.
I certify that my team remains roster & cap compliant.

Extensions

Players with one year remaining on a multi-year contract are also eligible for extensions. We will allow each team to extend one such player, provided the AAV is over $6M. Message the Commissioners (via the team transaction chats) with a competitive offer, and explain why you want to extend the player.

GM vs Assistant GM

The GM is the one who makes the final decisions and who other GMs should message. You are encouraged to speak to anyone including Assistants, but for trades and updates on where they stand, please contact the GMs. The assistants are here to serve as a second opinion, fill in on things the GM might have made unclear, and ultimately serve as backups in case the GM needs to be replaced, for example on draft day.

Respect

PLAY NICE. If people act like dicks in trade/FA negotiations, particularly in agreeing to something and then going back on their word, PM the admins and we'll take care of it. Repeat offenders will get removed from the sim. Racism, homophobia, and other forms of bigotry will not be tolerated. No politics.
If you have any questions, feel free to comment below or DM any commissioner. If we need to clarify some things, we will do so.

I have two questions
Q1: When I use a Domino’s Gift Voucher (purchased using my SBI Cashback card), I am unable to apply coupon code in Dominos App while placing order. Am I missing something? Have you encountered similar issue?
Q2: my pizza order is 720 Rs. I can not buy 720 Rs voucher. So I bought 500 Rs Dominos voucher (thanks to SBI cashback) and paid with voucher and remaining 220 Rs paid with cash.
Delivery guy said , the accept QR code also in case you don't have cash.
Is it possible to use my SBI Cashback card to pay remaining balance with QR scan ? I just don't want to pay cash , want to milk some more cashback for remaining 220 Rs using sbi cashback method or other method.

Author's Note:
9500 words. Needless to say, it's split into two Parts (both posted today). Enjoy!
​
--
​
MOVE!
Rob willed himself to stand up. No dice. The signals from his brain were being rerouted directly to his nerve endings, flashing his body with pain whenever he so much as twitched a finger.
MOVE! MOVE, GODDAMNIT, MOVE!
The pain wasn't the problem. He'd long since learned how to ignore sensations as routine as excruciating agony. No, the problem was that ignoring his pain didn't help – he still couldn't move. Willpower alone wouldn't be enough to hasten his recovery. It felt similar to when he'd first gained Soul Instability, and that had left him frail as an invalid, needing a good ten seconds of recuperating just to get back on his feet.
Kismet wasn't going to allow him ten seconds.
A grim calculus was taking place within the god's featureless expression. Rob could tell that despite their current positions, Kismet felt more pressured now than ever before, his countenance practically oozing desperation. Sure, he'd managed to reverse his fortunes and disable the HUMAN...
But now what? He couldn't count on it being permanent. Bouncing back was Rob's thing. If Kismet didn't strike while the iron was hot, he might never find this opportunity again.
{BEHIND!}
This time, Rob was prepared. He activated Purge Divinity and covered the surface of his body in a sheen of Purging energy. It burnt away the mana that Kismet had been attempting to infuse him with, preventing it from worsening his Soul Instability to fatal levels.
Alert: Your soul is attempting to stabilize. Please survive.
Rob felt a fraction of control return to his muscles. Slowly, he pushed his lips up into a mocking grin. He'd gotten extremely lucky just now, as with his degree of Soul Instability, there'd been no guarantee of Purge Divinity successfully activating...but Kismet didn't know that. All the god saw was his golden opportunity slipping through his fingers, the HUMAN somehow untouchable in spite of being prone and helpless.
Kismet went still and motionless. His hesitation lasted an instant in real time, and an eternity in their subjective, Quick Thinking-enhanced perception of reality. The god seemed to consider a variety of different factors: Almighty Resistance, Dauntless Reprisal, Lifesurge, Rob's vast HP pool, and how long it would take to gather the mana necessary for powerful spells. His expression morphed from calculating, to pensive, to outright unnerving, darkening with a vicious intent.
And then he turned away.
Rob's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. NO NO NO! He tried to force out his voice, say something to taunt Kismet, but all that came out was a choked gurgle. Rampage – he thought, only for Soul Instability to rear its ugly head and cause the Skill to fail.
There was nothing he could do except watch as Kismet formed a spell and unleashed it upon Riardin's Rangers.
The magic took shape – and Rob froze, relief and confusion flowing through him in equal measures. Rather than conjuring the divine spear rainstorm from before, which would've slaughtered at least half the Party, Kismet had instead surrounded them in skintight prisons of energy. That wasn't ideal, as evidenced by how Riardin's Rangers fell to the ground screaming, but their shared Almighty Resistance would keep them alive for now.
Alert: Your soul is in the midst of stabilizing. Please survive.
His confusion persisted until he noticed Kismet's sightless gaze flickering towards Vul'to. The god had wanted to avoid a repeat of the Soul Guardian's earlier heroics, when Our Shield combined with Not A Scratch protected his allies from certain death. Not A Scratch could only nullify a single instance of damage, and these mana-prisons were continuous.
Better to play it safe and ensure that Riardin's Rangers were immobilized. Kismet's cohorts could handle the rest.
Rob struggled in vain, still unable to move as the seven lesser gods loomed over their fallen adversaries like vultures circling around wounded gazelles. Kismet had enough opportunity to cast another spell, but he just observed everyone, his face unreadable.
"You've done it, Kismet!" one of the gods crowed. It glared at Zamira's trembling form with a savage, predatorial glee, ready to exact vengeance for the numerous Aura Blade scars she had inflicted on its body. "We have finally–"
The god's head dissolved.
Despite losing its mouth, the deity screamed with a voice that resounded across the divine realms. Its terrified cries continued even as the rest of its physique dissolved as well, starting from the neck, then chest, moving down until the god's entire body had separated into a cloud of mana particles.
Six more screams rose up to join it. The lesser gods all rapidly melted away before Rob's eyes, their lamentations mingling to compose a symphony of terror and anguish. A few faint pleas were mixed in there too, asking '"Why" and "Help" – as if that would save them.
They were afforded the same mercy that they'd granted to countless other mortals who had prayed for a salvation that never came.
By this point, after nearly a year in Elatra, it took a lot to leave Rob awestruck. He'd pretty much seen it all. But when the lesser gods' mana rushed over to Kismet, coalescing into an immense orb floating above his head, the HUMAN found himself feeling shocked to his very core.
"Worthless." Kismet stared up at the gods' collected mana with a sharp glare of disdain. "What wretched, inadequate creatures you are. You simply needed to slay one of Rob's Party members – just one. We would have steadily overtaken them afterwards. Yet you have the audacity to lose to mere Combat Class users while I've been holding this...this** ascendant abomination at bay?"
He raised his hands. Rob flinched as the orb began pulsating with tremendous, unfathomable power.
"Not to worry." A line split across Kismet's face, like a manic, ear-to-ear grin. "I've thought of a far more valuable use for your essence."
{Soul Burn,} Leveling High whispered.
Rob's eyes widened as the gods' mana blazed with an all-consuming light. He'd only ever felt this once before – during the Attunement vision where The Cataclysm broke Elatra. This amalgamation of divinity was on par with that. If Kismet chose, he could have reduced the world to dust and still had energy left to spare.
Instead, this second Cataclysm was being aimed at a single HUMAN.
I suppose I should feel flattered.
Alert: Your soul is gradually stabilizing. Please survive.
With laborious effort, Rob stood up. That was about the extent of what he could muster. Forget running or dodging – a passing breeze would've knocked him over.
And he had maybe one second before Kismet drowned him in apocalyptic mana.
Quick as lightning, Rob mentally ran through his options. Rampage to dodge...not remotely fast enough. Dauntless Reprisal...couldn't block all of it. Kismet's attack was going to be continuous. Shield with Purge Divinity...wouldn't last. The Skill was better suited to attacking than defending.
Do I just need more power? Rob glanced at his hand, where a sliver of divinity had been held not long ago. He'd reached the point where he was willing to make distasteful compromises. If I Ascend–
{Impossible,} Leveling High snapped. {You were given a choice, and – despite my counsel – wholeheartedly rejected the very concept of Ascension. Do you think it so easy to shift one's subconscious mentality? Especially now that your Soul Instability has advanced to this state. With a soul that is hanging on by the thinnest thread, Ascending might tear us asunder.}
Rob grimaced. Fine. Got any better ideas?
{Flee to the mortal realms with Waymark.} Its static was buzzing with panic. {The leader god wouldn't dare destroy Elatra. He needs the mana contained therein.}
Rob glanced at Riardin's Rangers. They had fallen unconscious. Partially because of Kismet's binding prisons – and partially because of the God-Orb's oppressive aura of power, so heavy that it was like a mountain pressing down on the battlefield. If he Waymarked to safety, his Party would automatically disband due to the distance limit, removing their shared Almighty Resistance and exposing them to the noxious atmosphere of the divine realms.
To say nothing of what Kismet would do to them afterwards.
{Leave them. You cannot–}
My body is on the outs, Rob calmly explained. Just gonna get worse as time goes on. You really think I'll still be up for a Round 2 later today? Either we kill Kismet now...or never.
{That is a justification to avoid abandoning your allies.}
But am I wrong?
Leveling High had no answer to that.
Rob willed his body to move. He forced and pushed and fought with every last scrap of determination in his ruined soul. Slowly, the feeling in his muscles began to return.
Too slowly. The Orb was just about ready.
Alert: Your soul has almost finished stabilizing.
Rob breathed deep. His hands glowed with Purge Divinity. Compared to the Soul Burnt God-Orb, his light was but a flickering, insignificant candle.
Yet he still stepped forward.
Always forward.
Please.
Kismet's facsimile of a smile grew ever wider. His stolen mana shone bright as a dying star.
Survive.
Rob lifted his arms–
As a spear of lightning impaled Kismet from behind.
It honestly wasn't much. To a deity who'd traded blows with Rob, one lightning spear should have been no more than a mosquito bite. But to that same deity, who'd been repeatedly bit in the ass by unexpected occurrences and unknown Skills...
He felt a brief spark of alarm.
Who? How? Had Rob's allies devised yet another unforeseen ability? What if they were–
Before Kismet could stop himself, he whirled around. The divine ruler expected to find that one of Riardin's Rangers had broken free.
Only to freeze with surprise when he saw Seneschal Sylpeiros, barely standing upright.
Rob was just as surprised as Kismet. Truth be told, he'd forgotten that Sylpeiros was here. The Elf was never meant to journey to the divine realms in the first place. As someone who didn't have access to shared Almighty Resistance, he should've fallen unconscious a long time ago.
Yet he hadn't. Sylpeiros was exhausted, on his last legs, overlooked by both god and HUMAN...but still kicking. And with the last of his strength, he had unleashed an attack with such ferocity that it misled Kismet into believing it came from a Level 99 Combat Class user.
The Seneschal could only laugh as Kismet extended his hands and funneled destructive mana straight towards him. Sylpeiros didn't have the energy to dodge, nor did he try. Thankfully, Kismet's reprisal was so hastily-aimed – and further swayed by frustration – that it 'just' clipped the Elf's side, disintegrating his right arm.
Like a puppet with its strings cut, Sylpeiros collapsed. He locked eyes with Rob, mouthing quiet words that echoed with thunderous intent.
"Give them hell, Human."
Alert: Your soul has finished stabilizing! Soul Instability will remain High, but movement is now possible once more.
Rob didn't hesitate. He took off running, willing his legs to stop being lazy bastards and FUCKING MOVE. One shot. Kismet still preoccupied. Vulnerable to attack.
Can I kill him before he kills me?
Rob considered his Purge Divinity reserves – then regrettably decided that no, he couldn't. Although Kismet was somewhat wounded, the god wasn't on death's door. It would take too long to inject him with enough Purging energy to kill him, and that was if he didn't use some trick to escape. The God-Orb would descend well before then.
Ultimately, it was an easy decision to make. Rob simply chose the only option with any chance of survival. Ignoring the opening that Kismet was presenting, he leapt into the air, his skin prickling as he drew closer to the intense, scorching heat emanating from above.
PURGE–
He plunged his hand inside the Orb.
–DIVI–FFFUCKTHATHURTS!
Not for the first time, Rob felt his flesh stripped straight to the bone. The boiling essence of seven entrapped gods was perhaps a bit too spicy for Almighty Resistance to handle. Its mana cut right through his resistances – just as an impossibly sharp sensation cut through Rob's built-up pain tolerance. A less-seasoned veteran would have reflexively extracted what was left of their arm, and then tumbled to the ground, sobbing.
Rob didn't budge. His Elatran travails had prepared him for this moment. After the Attunement visions, severe Corruption poisoning, Ragnavi's Annihilation, Soul Instability, multiple flayings and decapitations...what was one more type of pain? He merely needed to follow the creed of all like-minded lunatics who extolled Vitality as their stat of choice.
When in doubt: endure.
Clenching his jaw so hard that his teeth cracked, he activated Purge Divinity before his arm was erased entirely. Energy flowed out from his body and into the Orb.
The effect was immediate and apparent. Voices screeched in fresh agony as the God-Orb's surface undulated like churning magma. Cracks split open, and mana poured out as he peered up at the crimson moon, wondering why it seemed closer than usual–
Rob forcibly pulled himself out of the vision, his head spinning from mental whiplash. Even then, he kept Purge Divinity going, never faltering for an instant. All distractions – from Kismet's shouting, to the gods' wailing, to the sight of his friends lying still – were fed into the furnace of his rage, used as fuel to keep his arm steady.
Remnant souls burst out again and again. He was a winged creature soaring under a sky of falling meteors. He was a denizen of the deep sea clutching his throat as the oceans filled with poison. He was a glassy-eyed mother holding tiny, well-dressed skeletons. He was a beloved sovereign watching his pantheon of nations crumble to dust. He was a starving pauper witnessing the end of everything, wondering why they'd ever bothered fighting to survive. He was, he was, he was, he was...
He was Rob – yet in that ethereal moment, he was everyone. Through his Purging hands, he carried out the will of innumerable people and societies ended by cosmic whims.
The God-Orb began vibrating faster. Kismet was trying to detonate it, but control had already been wrested from his grasp. The HUMAN spoke, and with unintelligible words that were a mishmash of overlapping dead languages, he pronounced the final judgement of seven gods.
"~ //// #### {{}} \\\\ \** <<>>".*
I only wish this hurt you more.
Blinding light covered the divine realms.
--
Rob experienced nothing.
At all. He saw, heard, smelt, and felt nothing. The world had been reduced to a void bereft of sensation.
If not for Leveling High screeching in his mind, he might have assumed he was dead. Its grating static dragged him back to awareness. And much like animals are born knowing how to breathe, Rob's very first act upon awakening was instinctual.
Lifesurge.
Upon opening his regrown eyes and taking stock of his surroundings, his second act was to feel grateful that the God-Orb's destruction had knocked him unconscious. Pain tolerance was all well and good, but it was prooobably for the best that he'd missed out on his body being scoured by erupting divine essence.
He was pretty sure that only his brain had been left afterwards.
"You killed them."
The sound of a familiar voice instantly snapped Rob to attention. Fortunately, it appeared that he'd only been out cold for a second or two, as Kismet hadn't yet recovered from his shock and taken advantage of the situation. The last living deity was too busy gazing up at where the God-Orb used to reside, as if staring would make it pop back into existence.
"They were fools," he muttered. "Shortsighted, indolent, antiquated...even so, they were still eternal. Their mana has persisted across a breadth of time that defies comprehension. And you killed them. A mortal killed them."
"DoES thAT SuRPRIse YoU?" Rob asked, his voice causing a rift to open up nearby.
Kismet tilted his head.. "I suppose not," he answered, after a moment of silence. "What does surprise me, however, is that you have deigned to speak. What brought on this change?"
Because I just checked my Purge Divinity stores and decided that stalling so it can refill is the way to go. "I'm KEEPING YoU COMPANY. FIguReD yoU'd FEEL LONELY. 'CauSE ALL yoUR fRieNDs ARE DEAD."
"How magnanimous. Do you know what I believe, though?" Glacial lights flared in the space where a human's eyes would be. "If you still possessed even an ounce of that vile energy, you would have charged the second you awoke. The fact that you haven't means your reserves are running dry."
Rob smirked at having his bluff called. Purging a dense God-Orb right as it was about to explode had been...difficult. It'd required more energy than Purging the seven gods under normal circumstances. He wasn't entirely spent, but killing Kismet with what few drops remained seemed highly unlikely.
"I am going to relish wiping that mirth off your face." Kismet drew himself up, his form swelling with power and anticipation. "You haven't yet realized the severity of your predicament – so allow me to enlighten you. Without the ability to Purge, you cannot harm me. Not in any significant manner. All your monstrous power shall be for naught."
The god leaned forward, his false eyes shining with glee, as if he couldn't wait to say what was on his mind. "Furthermore...that power has stopped growing, yes? I haven't sensed it climb to new heights for some time now. You have reached your peak, whereas *I* may still sup on mana leaking from the rifts that you've so helpfully provided. Soon enough, my might will surpass yours. Or perhaps your body will fall apart first? Don't think I haven't noticed that as well. Lastly, now that you have lost the capacity to Purge, I no longer need worry that your presence will collapse the divine realms. I am free to bide my time as your body and soul wither to nothing."
Kismet spread his arms wide. "You fought well, mortal – but the battle is done. At long last, you are outmatched."
Rob chuckled.
It wasn't even on purpose. While he would've laughed to mess with Kismet anyway, regardless of how he was feeling, his reaction was completely natural.
"OOOOH NOOOO," Rob drawled, layering his tone with enough sarcasm to suffocate an elephant. "I'M OUTMATCHED? IN A FIGHT AGAINST AN ALL-POWERFUL ABOMINATION? GEE, \THAT'S* NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE."*
Really, was he supposed to be intimidated? This was just another Tuesday in Elatra. It had been fun to run wild for a bit and put the BERSERK in BERSERKER, but in a sick sort of way, he felt more at home like this. Back to the wall, with no clear win condition in sight.
He could already feel the creative juices starting to percolate.
Searching for inspiration, Rob swept his gaze across the battlefield. It was a sobering view. Riardin's Rangers and Sylpeiros were lying still; so motionless that he could've mistaken them for dead if not for the slow rise and fall of their chests.
Without their efforts, he wouldn't be standing here right now. Purging the God-Orb had been a near thing. If Riardin's Rangers hadn't killed one god and softened up the others before Kismet 'collected' them, Rob would've run out of Purging energy and just straight-up died. And he never would've gotten the chance to destroy the Orb without Sylpeiros' diversion. Seriously, what kind of madman decided that ambushing a literal deity was a smart idea?
Rob gave them all a grateful nod. Riardin's Rangers and Sylpeiros didn't have Purge Divinity or impossibly high stats – and they'd still contributed more than should ever be expected of fighters without system-warping Skills, even Level 99 ones. His allies had gone above and beyond the call of duty.
The rest was up to him.
Time for a stress test. He dashed forward, fists clenched. Kismet warily examined him, waiting to see if the HUMAN would pull out a hidden reserve of Purging energy.
When that didn't happen, the god stood his ground and prepared one spell in each hand. The first will be an emergency escape, Rob inferred. The second...well, he probably wants to run a stress test of his own.
There were no tricks or falsehoods. Neither combatant made any attempt to dodge. Divine magic seared mortal flesh, and titanic Strength collided with the formless mana-body of a god.
Two tremendous claps of noise filled the divine realms, accompanied by a shockwave that sent both Rob and Kismet flying back. The HUMAN landed on his feet, while the god briefly vanished before reappearing in an upright position, seeming unruffled by their exchange.
"Your energy truly has run dry." Kismet sounded on the verge of breaking out into maniacal laughter. "Oh, what revelry this shall be."
Rob rolled his one good eye – the other was still Regenerating. Prick keeps aiming for my face. Kismet was gloating again, so he tuned out the god's ramblings and focused on analyzing his options. What have I learned? Without Purge Divinity, how much damage does a no-frills punch inflict?
Very little. Although Rob had hoped for a dent, he'd mostly just scuffed the god's paint. Raw, unadorned Strength simply wasn't efficient at damaging creatures of mana – especially not one as indescribably powerful as Kismet.
In that case...
Exhaling, he closed his eyes, shutting out all external stimuli. Kismet's blathering immediately quieted as he evaluated Rob's abrupt change in behavior. The god was presumably trying to determine whether this was a ploy to lure him in, but his caution was wasted. Rob merely wanted full concentration and didn't care if he got sucker-punched.
What he chose next would decide the fate of a world. Two worlds, actually, if Kismet got vindictive and hopped over to Earth after depleting Elatra.
Quick Thinking.
Okay.
What paths to victory still remained?
It has to be fast. My body is struggling, and my Soul Instability is High. Kismet will win a battle of attrition.
So that ruled out pummeling him for hours on end. Shame. Rob would've been fine with repeatedly scuffing Kismet's paint until the bits of damage added up and caused his mana-body to give out. Unless...
Zamira proved that a god can be slain through exceptional means. Malika would've unmade some of them as well if she hadn't been busy fixing rifts. Mana manipulation is the key. Can I hurt Kismet by imbuing my fists with mana?
Wasn't that easy, unfortunately. While Rob had boatloads of MP to spare, this was a matter of quality, not quantity. He lacked the fine precision of an Archmage, or...whatever anime powerup Zamira pulled at the end there. Covering his fists in mana might help, but it wouldn't guarantee victory.
If Riardin's Rangers awaken, we can band together to overpower Kismet. Strength in numbers – and teamwork.
It was a decent backup plan. Sadly, he couldn't control when they woke up. Could be soon, could be hours from now. Based on previous instances where his Party members had been forcefully knocked unconscious, the latter was more likely.
Besides – Rob didn't want plans that were just 'decent'. He wanted a silver bullet. Something that could annihilate Kismet in under a minute, if need be.
The stakes demanded no less.
A silver bullet...like Purge Divinity. Nothing else comes to mind. Nothing else is going to be as good, either. The Skills personally hand-crafted it to kill gods, and that process probably took them thousands of years. I shouldn't expect to cook up an equivalent in the eleventh hour.
Rob frowned. All of that made sense, but...
He wasn't satisfied with that line of thinking. When you have a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Hmmm. While I can't blame myself for getting hung up on Purge Divinity, considering how vital it's been up until now, I might also be tunnel-visioned on the concept of a singular god-slaying ability.
That kind of over-centralized thinking often bled into other aspects of planning. In fact, when he'd assessed his other Skills earlier to see if any of them would be effective against Kismet, hadn't he dismissed them on the grounds that they wouldn't deal enough damage or accurately hit him at range?
As someone who'd learned a Skill called Rampage and primarily utilized it for maneuverability, he should've known better than that. Even when offensive abilities weren't perfectly suited for a situation, they could still be used in inventive ways.
Rob put on a wry grin as several new stratagems promptly came to mind. Guess I'll never be a proper BERSERKER. Can't help but go back to my roots of planning weird nonsense.
Yeah. That felt right. So what if he'd lost his convenient touch-of-death win condition? If the gods didn't have a clear weakness to exploit, he just needed to make one – or magnify the vulnerabilities they already possessed.
Like their mindset. While the gods may be astronomically powerful, they're also batshit crazy and don't seem to realize it. From what I know, most of their problems are self-induced. Like, I'm hardly the most stable individual, but at least I'm not tormenting people and complaining when they fight back, or part of a pseudo-hivemind where ego death is encouraged, or...
...Incapable of breaking a vow.
A bolt of inspiration struck him. Then another, and another, until Rob had been assailed by an entire thunderstorm of interlocking ideas. He thought back to how the gods and Blights were mentally enslaved to their compulsions. He reflected on how they couldn't defy the rules of the system even when their own lives were at risk. He examined the battlefield and juxtaposed it with the actions Kismet had taken and hadn't taken thus far.
His breath caught in his chest. This was the silver bullet he'd been looking for. If his assumptions were correct – which was a BIG if – then it would win the battle in one fell swoop.
If he was wrong...it could do the exact opposite.
Fifty-fifty odds.
Rob opened his eyes, heartbeat quickening as excitement flowed through him. Against a creature on par with the Second Will, fifty-fifty was like winning the lottery.
"What manner of death would you prefer?" Kismet tittered. He was in no hurry to bring their duel to its conclusion, understanding full well that time was on his side. "Quick and painless, as to numb the sting of your failures? Or a glorious last stand fit for the history books? It also isn't too late to become a Skill, I might add. Join your friends in perpetual–"
There's my inroad. "KISMET," the HUMAN intoned."RULER OF THE DIVINE REALMS." He kept his voice low to prevent more rifts from opening, giving off the impression of some unknowable creature rumbling in the distance. "I PROPOSE A WAGER."
The god's mouth snapped shut. After a couple seconds of well-deserved suspicion, he hesitantly replied. "...Of what sort?"
Rob raised a hand and stretched out his fingers. "FIVE MINUTES." Theoretically he would only need one, but better safe than sorry. "IF I'VE YET TO GRIEVOUSLY WOUND YOU AFTER FIVE MINUTES HAVE PASSED, I WILL SUBMIT TO YOUR AUTHORITY AND BE REBORN AS A SKILL IN THE NEXT SYSTEM. THEN YOU'RE FREE TO TORTURE ME FOR ETERNITY OR WHATEVER GETS YOUR ROCKS OFF."
He closed his hand into a fist. "ANTI-LOOPHOLE CLAUSES: THE TIMER STARTS AFTER YOU AGREE TO MY TERMS. DURING THOSE FIVE MINUTES, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FLEE FARTHER THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE AT ANY POINT IN TODAY'S BATTLE. 'GRIEVOUSLY WOUND' IS DEFINED AS YOU HAVING EXTREME DIFFICULTY CONTINUING TO MOVE OR FIGHT."
"I...see. And what is so important that you would gamble your soul? What do you desire in exchange? "
"THREE BOONS. FIRST – IF I WIN, YOU ANSWER ONE QUESTION OF MINE. SECOND – YOU HEAL MY ALLIES' INJURIES AND ROUSE THEM FROM SLUMBER, WITH NO COMPLICATIONS OR ADVERSE TAMPERING."
Rob cracked his knuckles. "AND THIRD – YOU SIT STILL FOR A WHILE AS I BEAT YOUR FUCKING FACE IN."
Kismet said nothing. Rob could practically hear the gears turning in the god's head. His victory was all but assured, and capturing the HUMAN's soul would be the cherry on top of a complete and total triumph.
However, he also recognized that Rob wouldn't be making this bet without an ace up his sleeve.
"How do I know you won't go back on your word?" Kismet's tone was laden with doubt. "Mortals are not bound to oaths, and you are, technically, still a mortal."
"I OFFER MY PARTY MEMBERS' LIVES AS COLLATERAL."
There was a long stretch of silence. "You're serious," the god marveled.
"YUUUP." Rob jerked a thumb at his friends' unconscious bodies. "HOVER SOME SPEARS NEAR 'EM. WON'T STOP YOU. ALTHOUGH I'M ADDING A STIPULATION THAT YOU CAN'T HARM THEM UNLESS EITHER I BREAK OUR DEAL, OR FIVE MINUTES PASS."
Kismet scrutinized him with a look of disbelief. Rob's poker face worked overtime as he faked being unperturbed, returning the god's searching gaze with a laconic, half-lidded stare.
Eventually, greed won out over prudence. "I accept all your terms." Kismet pointed his hands at Riardin's Rangers. Dozens of floating mana spears materialized above their unmoving forms, ready to plunge down at a moment's notice. Kismet kept an eye on Rob throughout, as if expecting him to rush forward in defense of his Party, but the HUMAN merely waited patiently for the god to finish.
Inwardly, Rob was celebrating. 'You can't harm my friends until five minutes have passed' was a steal of a deal. Without Purge Divinity as a threat, he wasn't confident that he would've been able to prevent Kismet from using Riardin's Rangers as hostages. 'You are not allowed to flee farther than you already have at any point in today's battle' was even more necessary. It meant that Kismet couldn't fuck off to a distant corner of the divine realms and wait out the clock.
The rest of Rob's terms had essentially been a smokescreen to slip those two stipulations through. While he wouldn't turn down free healing for his friends or the opportunity to treat the divine ruler like a punching bag, his requested 'boons' were inconsequential compared to limiting Kismet's options.
It gave him the chance to put his real plan into action.
One chance, specifically. Rob held no delusions that there might be a second. What he had in mind would rely heavily on the element of surprise. If it didn't work on the first try...or if his assumptions about Kismet's nature were incorrect...
Game over.
How many trillions of lives were about to be decided in the next few seconds? Countless civilizations of the present and the future, their survival somehow dependent on a half-baked scheme conjured up by a guy so absurdly enraged that he was cracking reality. Shit, the only reason he was even here was because he'd pushed Jason out of the way when the gods tried to nab him all those months ago. His one small action had kicked off a cascading domino effect with repercussions beyond human comprehension.
Rob couldn't begin to fathom that scale of responsibility – so he didn't bother. Stressing himself would just make him hesitate. Bit by bit, he pared away the overwhelming grandiosity of the situation, reducing its scope until he saw Kismet for what the eternal, cosmic deity truly was:
Just another asshole that needed to be put in the dirt.
"The five minutes have begun." Kismet prepared what was almost definitely a teleport spell, ready to flee at the first sign of danger. "Please execute whatever ill-fated endeavor you have planned before time runs out. I wouldn't want to miss seeing your bravado shrivel into despair."
"WELL, I \COULD* PRETEND TO CHASE YOU AROUND FOR A BIT, LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY...BUT NAH."*
Rob flicked his wrist. "LET'S START THINGS OFF WITH A–"
BANG.
The explosive conflagration of Living Bomb surrounded him.
​
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Link to Part 2