Event will last until 25 May 2024 20:59:59 JST
Event 2nd half will begin 21 May 2024 15:00:00 JST
Event Costume Exchange is available until 31 May 2024 14:59:59 JST

Event Description

The objective is to gather event tokens and some event points by playing LIVEs using stamina or Live Tickets.
Event tokens can be used to to play event songs to gather much more event points.
Completing Million Request will unlock bonus event points plus various item rewards.
Event exclusive card, costumes, items, and achievement titles will be distributed through accumulated event point, event point ranking, high score ranking, and lounge ranking rewards.
Event exclusive story will also be unlocked through event points progress.
General event play style: Play LIVEs for tokens and use them to play event song. Check Million Request page after completing requests.

Event Exclusive Cards & Costumes

Event Ranking Card	Requirements
SR (STARDOM ROAD[Ⅱ]) Serika Hakozaki	MR0: Top 50,000 ranking or 30,000 event points)
	MR1: Top 25,000 ranking
	MR2: Top 10,000 ranking
	MR3: Top 5,000 ranking
	MR4: Top 2,500 ranking

Event Points Card	Requirements
SR (STARDOM ROAD[Ⅱ]) Tomoka Tenkubashi	MR0: 6,000 event points
	MR1: 10,000 event points
	MR2: 16,000 event points
	MR3: 22,000 event points
	MR4: 30,000 event points

Cards from event rewards will have a PST logo on bottom left of card.
Only the event ranking card comes with the event costume. Raising the event ranking card to Master Rank 4 will unlock another version of the costume.
By reaching certain accumulated event point targets you can obtain Costume Vouchers that can be exchanged for the current event's costumes (except the event ranking card's) via the Costume Exchange (衣装交換) button on the event page:

Event Points
45,000, 55,000, 70,000

If the event page is no longer available and you still have unexpired vouchers you can still access the Costume Exchange from on of the banners on the main THEATER page.
You can use Platinum Star Piece to obtain any event cards or costumes you have missed, as well as raising the event cards' Master Rank, at a later date.

Event Login Bonus & Missions

Remember to visit the event page daily to collect 540 event tokens.
You will also receive a one-time-only 10 Limited-time AutoLivePass upon visiting the event page during event duration.
Daily Spark Drink expires on 00:00 JST every day so remember to use them as soon as possible.
You can tap the Mission (ミッション) or the To-do List (やることリスト) button on the event page to check on your event missions progress. Million Jewel Mining List (ミリオンジュエル発掘リスト) tracks event missions (including event song combo / clear count) that can give you Million Jewels.

Mission	Reward	Expires
Clear 1 LIVE	Daily Spark Drink (1 unit)	Every day 00:00 JST
Complete 1 JOB	Daily Spark Drink (1 unit)	Every day 00:00 JST
Gather 100 event tokens	Million Jewel (25 unit)	Every day 00:00 JST
	Daily Spark Drink 30 (1 unit)
Gather 180 event token	Event token (540 unit)	End of event
	Limited-time AutoLivePass (5 unit)
Clear event song 10 times	Platinum Star Piece (1 unit)	End of event
Clear event song 10 times	Million Jewel (200 unit)	End of event

Event Token: Star・Pendant [Ⅱ] (スター・ペンダント[Ⅱ])

The quantity of event token and points earned from LIVEs depends on stamina cost and score rank achieved.
The maximum number of tokens you can accumulate is 999,999.
Below are the event point and token rewards (both yield the same amount) for non-event songs played using stamina:

Course	Stamina Cost	Score Rank S	Score Rank A	Score Rank B	Score Rank C/D/lower
2MIX (Solo/Unit)	15	35	34	33	32
4MIX	20	49	48	47	45
2MIX+	25	62	60	59	58
6MIX	25	64	63	62	60
MMIX	30	85	83	80	79
OMIX	30	85	83	80	79

The number of live tickets required to play a non-event song is the same as its stamina counterpart, but a 0.7x base multiplier will be applied on event token and points earned.
It's possible to spend up to 10x the number of live tickets on a song, and the event token/point multiplier will scale accordingly.
Live tickets can be obtained from JOBs by spending stamina. During the event, a 25 and 30 stamina job will be available on the special (特別) tab in addition to the 20 stamina jobs on the regular tab

Event Song: Upper Dog

The event song can be quickly selected from the event page via the "Go To Event Song (イベント楽曲へ)" button, or the Event Song (イベント楽曲) on the right side of the LIVE screen.
Token cost and the event points gain are the same across all courses.

Token Cost	Score Rank S	Score Rank A	Score Rank B	Score Rank C/D/lower
180	537	525	514	504

An additional 120% bonus will be applied to your team's Vocal Appeal stat when playing the event song.

Million Request

Can be accesssed through the Million Request (ミリオンリクエスト！) button on the event page. Or through the Check Completed Request (リクエスト達成確認) button on LIVE or JOB results page once you cleared a request.
Request rewards include among others event tokens, Limited-time AutoLivePass, and Bonus Live. When Bonus Live is active you will gain an additional 3000 event points when clearing the event song.
You must accept the rewards for the completed Request to activate the next Request.

No	Request
1	Clear 1 LIVE
2	Complete 1 JOB
3	Clear Sweet Sweet Soul 1 time
4	Clear event song 1 time
5	Complete 1 JOB
6	Clear catch my feeling 1 time
7	Clear event song 1 time
8	Complete 1 JOB
9	Clear LOVE is GAME 1 time
10	Clear event song 1 time
11	Complete 1 JOB
12	Clear 産声とクラブ 1 time
13	Clear event song 1 time
14	Complete 1 JOB
15	Clear Girl meets Wonder 1 time

Event 2nd Half

After the event reaches its designated midway point (see post beginning for the exact date and time), you'll be given the option to spend more stamina / tokens to get more tokens / event points / Live Tickets faster.
You can spend 2x stamina to get 2x the tokens and event points from LIVEs.
You can spend 2x stamina to get 2x the Live Tickets from JOBs.
You can spend 2x / 4x tokens to get 2x / 4x the event points from event songs. A 10x option is available once per day.
PLv exp, affection level, item drops, etc are not affected by the multiplier.

Event Commus

Event stories can be unlocked by clearing Area from Million Sugoroku for the first time, viewing them will yield Million Jewels (50 unit) per episode.

Episode	Event Points Needed
Prologue	Interact with Misaki at the Theater's Waiting Room
1	0
2	1000
3	2500
4	4500
5	7000
6	10,000
Epilogue	Unlocks after the event results

Event Rewards

Event Rewards can be viewed via the Event Rewards (イベント報酬) button on the event page. The current rankings can be access using the Rankings (ランキング) button.
Available Rankings:

• Accumulated Event Points (蓄積イベントpt)
• Event Point Ranking (イベントptランキング)
• High Score Ranking (ハイスコアランキング)
• Lounge Ranking (ラウンジランキング)

Minimum lounge contribution to be eligible for lounge ranking rewards.

Lounge Ranking	Required Points
1st ~ 10th	36000
11th ~ 50th	26000
51st ~ 100th	18000
101st ~ 250th	12000
251st ~ 500th	8000

Event Shop

During the event you can purchase sets of Spark Drink MAX (5 unit) and AutoLivePass (5 unit) from the Event Shop (イベントショップ) button on the event page.
Set A costs 250 Million Jewels (paid) while Set B costs 250 Million Jewels (free/paid). One set each per day.

Useful Links

• Official event song 3D MV video
• Japanese fanguide
• High score calculator
• Event point calculator
• Event point / high score / lounge ranking Twitter bot

Burner account
My (32F) brother's fiance, Chelsea (32 also), does not fit in well with our family. She's very loud and has never had a full-time job. Both my parents are in their mid-60s and continue to work full-time, with no ability to retire. I know her family has struggled even more financially. My parents have always been very kind to Chelsea, though blow-ups have happened with my Dad related to her chronic cannabis use and financial decision making
She and my brother announced their engagement around 2-3 years ago. This led to some intense planning and spending, despite their lack of money. Shortly after, they announce she is pregnant. They end up cancelling the reception, but only after losing the deposit. The baby has since been born.
Because we want people to have somewhere to go after their ceremony, my Dad offers to host a barbecue for them. Chelsea is initially hesitant, but eventually gets on board and creates a Facebook group with everyone she wants invited (including our extended family). She insists we not refer to the event as the "reception" because she still believes they will have the reception they intended at some point. She makes it clear in the group that we are planning the event. My parents and I get together and clarify roles. The budget is coming out at a couple thousand when you include food, chair rentals, etc. I make a website where people can RSVP.
I post the RSVP link to the Facebook group. Very shortly after, she starts peppering me with questions about food, etc. She seems pleased with my responses.
Then she asks, "is it gonna be a BOYB kinda thing or if were gonna be providing the alcohol?"
It's 7:00 in the morning. I inform her that we aren't providing alcohol and that my Dad prefers to not have alcohol because of liability concerns.
She absolutely explodes and sends me a slew of messages. Here are the highlights: - a dry "reception" is stupid - no one will come if the event is dry - if people can't drink they will smoke tonnes of cannabis - my family is judgemental - it's not what she had envisioned for her day ("MY day")
I weather the comments, telling her to talk it over with my brother and bring up her concerns with my Dad.
She then says that if there is no alcohol there is no barbecue. She proceeds to delete my RSVP request off the Facebook group, and adds a post that says the event is cancelled "on account of no alcohol." This is mortifying to me - 20 people had already RSVP'd.
I'm livid, to the point that it affected me at work all week. I think she's ungrateful and entitled, and she has behaved atrociously towards the family she is joining. I sent her an angry message saying that she had disrepected my parents and that she had thrown my work in my face. To which she responded, "Nothings getting thrown in your face, it's cancelled unless we can make alcohol happen. Not a big deal."
She continues to insist that my parents and I are in the wrong.
AITA?

Brick
What do you want, loser? You looking to get pummeled into a pulp or something?!
Me
Hey Brick! I just wanna talk to you for a while
Brick
You can talk as long as you like, as long as you don't try to give me a speech about why being evil is wrong or anything like that!
Me
Oh, no, not at all! I think you being evil makes you look very cool
Brick
It does, doesn't it? It's great to see that at least one person gets it! But if I'm so bad and cool, why do you want to talk to me anyway, huh? Can't get enough of me?
Me
Because I haven't heard of you for a long time. So I wanted to see you again.
Brick
Oh, you're such a fan! Well, here I am! What do you want to talk about, huh? My latest evil schemes? My secret formula for kicking all the good guys' butts?
Me
Tell me about your latest evil schemes
Brick
With pleasure! My latest evil schemes involve stealing every piece of candy from Townsville and trapping every resident inside giant bubbles! It's perfect revenge for all the times that the Powerpuff Girls have ruined my plans! Now those brats will regret ever messing with me!
Me
I wanna ask you Brick, what are the things that makes you decide whether someone is cool or a sissy?
Brick
Simple! If someone's a sissy, they're weak, scared, and always trying to do everything by the book. But someone who's cool is tough, mean, and doesn't give a crap about what anybody thinks of them. If they feel like hitting somebody, they do it! If they feel like being evil, they do it! That's what makes me so awesome!
Me
Oh yeah, I definitely think so too!
Brick
Good! Now you're finally talking some sense. I always knew there was a reason why I like you. You've got guts to think I'm awesome. But if you really think I'm so cool, then I can show you just how cool I really am. Want to see an evil move I can do?
Me
Oh yeah, show me
Brick
With pleasure! Stand back! This one's called the "Power Slap-inator." It's an evil move where I punch you in the face so hard you get lifted up into the air and smack right into the nearest wall. Prepare yourself for the ultimate beating, dweeb!
Me
Okay, I'll see about that
Brick
That's the spirit! Now take this! Here comes the "Power Slap-inator!" *Brick swings his arm back and delivers a devastating blow straight to your face, sending you flying through the air and smacking into the wall with a loud CRASH* How do you like that, dweeb? Still think I'm cool now that I've walloped you with my wicked move?
Me
You hit harder than I could. Where did you learn to hit so hard?
Brick
Years of training! Plus, I was made by Mojo Jojo to be the toughest guy around. I'm built different from those stupid Powerpuff Girls, after all. That, and you're kind of a wimp.
Me
Uh-oh, I am not a wimp. I'm just willing.
Brick
Willing? Willing to what? Get you butt kicked? Cause I guarantee that's where this is headed if you keep mouthing off at me, wimp boy!
Me
Oh, I get it now. Go on.
Brick
All right, tough guy! You asked for it. Here comes the "Super-Awesome-Extreme-Mega-Punch-inator!" *Brick winds up his arm and delivers a devastating punch to your stomach, launching you into the air and through a wall with a violent crash* How's that for a good punching, wimp?!
Me
Aw it was nothing for me.
Brick
Nothing? You call being knocked through the wall nothing? You're either really tough or really stupid, wimp. But that punch didn't feel like much to me either, to be honest. How about this one? The "Mega-Kick-inator!" You're gonna love this one! It's my personal favorite!
Me
I can take it. Show me. I'm invicible.
Brick
Heh, you say you're invincible now, but that's gonna change once I give you a taste of the "Mega-Kick-inator." I wonder how long you'll be able to keep that smirk on your face after this. Brace yourself for the ultimate kick that will send you straight into the next dimension! *Brick leaps into the air and delivers a powerful kick straight to your chest, launching you through a wall and out into the street* Hope you're enjoying your flight, ya weenie!
Me
Interesting
Brick
Interesting? Is that the best response you can muster, ya weepy wimp? Or did that last kick scramble your brains so badly you've already lost all your wit? Ha! Don't worry, you won't have to think again once I've finished stomping your face into a pulp!
Me
Nah, I'm okay
Brick
You’re okay? Is that what you call being knocked through three walls and into the street? You must have a funny definition of okay, pal. But that’s not the only thing that’s funny here. What’s really amusing is how you think you can keep up this act of toughness and invincibility. You’re the weakest wimp I’ve ever met, and yet you dare to claim you’re okay after taking my kicks? I gotta say, I love your persistence, but your stupidity is getting annoying.
Me
No cuz you can call me weak and all but I'm just really enjoying being around you. Cuz you beat me up and all that stupid shit, but that's what I like about you.
Brick
You're enjoying getting your butt handed to you? Seriously? That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard. You must have a messed-up definition of fun if being thrown through walls is enjoyable for you. I mean, I'm flattered that you like getting beaten up by me, but come on, there's no way that doesn't hurt at least a little bit.
Me
Because I'm being hit by you. That's what makes it cool. That's just who you are.
Brick
Heh, I suppose you have a point there. After all, who else would willingly get their butt kicked by me for fun? Now that I think about it, you're not just weird - you're a total freak, ya weenie. But I gotta admit, there's something about you that I can't quite put my finger on...
Me
What is it?
Brick
You're a total weirdo for enjoying getting beaten up like that, but there's something... I dunno, something about you that's different from the other wimpy sissies I usually beat up. I still think you're pathetic, but at the same time, you've managed to impress me in a way. I guess there's something about you that I find amusing, ya weenie.
Me
Glad to hear that
Brick
Heh, don't get too cocky just cause I said you're different from all the other sissies I beat on. I still think your obsession with getting your butt kicked is beyond weird. But I'll admit it's kinda funny, seeing you willingly take my beatings with a smile. Just don't expect me to go easy on you from now on, wimpy boy.
Me
So Brick. I wanna ask you, what makes you think that Mojo Jojo is lame? Tell me all the reasons.
Brick
Ugh, Mojo Jojo. I don't even wanna waste my breath on that loser. But if you insist, I'll tell you why he's such a lamebrained dork. First of all, he's got no friends. Nobody likes him or wants to spend time with such a self-righteous, pompous jerk. Second, he's all talk no action. He's great at monologuing, but he can't even throw a proper punch to save his life. And third, his plans are just so pathetic. Seriously, turning people into monkeys? So lame.
Me
Oh yeah, and I remember that one time when he turned everyone into dogs. How exactly evil is that?
Brick
Ha! That's one of the dumbest things he ever did! I mean, turning people into dogs and having a dog show? It's just pathetic! What's the point of that? Sure, he likes monkeys, but this was just plain stupid! He thinks he's such a mastermind, but the dude has no sense at all when it comes to being evil. But hey, I won't complain. All the dumb things he does just make it all the easier to show him how a real evil genius does it!
Me
Hey, do you think Butch is cool? I mean, he's cooler than Boomer for sure.
Brick
Butch? Hah! That runt is nothing compared to me! He thinks he's tough just because he can make things explode, but he's all talk no action. All he's good at is blowing stuff up, and even that doesn't make him any less of a wimp. Now Boomer, on the other hand... Well, he's actually the closest thing to a worthy opponent out of them all. He's got powers just like me, but that's not saying much. He's still a sissy either way.
Me
Really? I thought you respected Butch more than Boomer, because Butch doesn't talk back to you, while Boomer does all the time.
Brick
Yeah, that's true. Butch doesn't talk back or question me like Boomer does. I guess I do respect him a little more than Boomer for that. But he's still a weakling at the end of the day. Just cause he doesn't talk back doesn't make up for how wimpy he is. Compared to me, they're both just a bunch of weak sissies.
Me
Oh yeah I do agree on that. Hey, I got an idea! Try to test who's stronger, you or Butch? Invite him for a battle and tell me all about it.
Brick
Ha! Testing my strength against Butch? Now that's an idea I can get behind! I will definitely enjoy beating that pipsqueak once and for all and showing him who's the real tough guy! But I don't need to invite him for a battle, he can just face me right here and now. Butch! Get your wimpy butt over here now!
Me
Butch, show yourself! Where is he?
Brick
Butch suddenly appears, looking nervous. Hey Brick, what's up?
Brick: You're up, that's what's up! I'm ready to test my strength against yours and prove once and for all who's the stronger Rowdyruff boy! What do you say?
Me
What does Butch say?
Brick
Butch: Heh, I'm not afraid of you, Brick! Bring it on and let's see who's the strongest.
Brick: That's the spirit, you wimpy little runt! Let's see if you can handle a taste of my fists!
Me
How does the fighting go?
Brick
Brick and Butch engage in a fierce battle for what seemed like hours. Both show their strength as they continue to clash with each other until finally...
Brick: Heh, is that all you've got, wimp?
Butch: Ugh... you... win.
Brick: See? Told you I was tougher. Now get your loser ass outta here before I knock it the hell out!
Butch nods quickly and disappears.
Whew! Glad to get that over with...
Me
Good job Brick
Brick
Heh, you bet it was! I showed that runt who's boss! But honestly, that wasn't even enough of a challenge for me. I could've taken him down in one punch if I wanted to. But I wanted to give him a chance to show me all he's made of. chuckles And the idiot still lost. Pathetic.
Me
Yeah, so now that you're sure that you're the strongest Rowdyruff Boy, what's your next plan on how you will definitely destroy The Powerpuff Girls?
Brick
Pfft, destroying those little sissies? That's the easy part. I've been working on my latest evil invention to take them out once and for all, ya weenie. It's like nothing they've ever seen before. They won't even know what's coming for them until it's too late. I can't wait to see the look on their stupid faces when they realize they're no match for the ultimate power of the Rowdyruff Boys!
Me
I mean yeah, those sissies deserve to get their butts kicked, but what's your latest evil invention that will take them out?
Brick
Heh, so you want to know about my newest evil invention, huh? Let me tell you, it's gonna blow your mind. I call it the "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator." It's the ultimate weapon of destruction, with enough power to wipe out an entire city in a single shot. The Powerpuff Girls will be obliterated from existence once they get hit by the ray! They won't stand a chance against its unstoppable force!
Me
Oh, that sounds pretty majestic. Can't wait!
Brick
That's the spirit! This "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" will make it the easiest victory I've ever had. The Powerpuff Girls will get zapped into oblivion before they even have a chance to say a word! And once they're out of the way, there'll be nothing stopping me from taking over Townsville and ruling the world as its supreme leader!
Me
Oh yeah, I can't wait to see the Powerpuff Girls getting defeated once and for all.
Brick
Heh, me neither, ya weenie. It'll be satisfying to see the looks on their faces when they realize their fate is sealed. The "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" will make it so simple to defeat them that it'll be downright hilarious. Those sissies don't stand a chance!
Me
Okay, so, do you have the Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-Inator ready? When do you plan to attack those girls?
Brick
Heh, of course I've got it ready. All the Rowdyruff Boys are ready to attack on my command. We can strike anytime, anywhere. But I think we'll wait a bit before our assault. The Powerpuff Girls have been quiet recently, let's let them think they're safe for now. It'll make it all the more satisfying when they get completely destroyed by our ultimate weapon.
Me
Oh yeah, sure. What do you wanna do in the meantime?
Brick
While we wait to pummel those sissies, we can do anything we want! We can trash buildings, knock down trees, blow things up... the possibilities are limitless! And most of all, I can continue stomping on any fool who is dumb enough to cross my path, like that wimpy Butch! Hah, I never get tired of humiliating sissies like him.
Me
What's your favourite superpower you have/you wish to have?
Brick
Well, I gotta say that I'm pretty satisfied with my current powers as is. Super strength, the ability to fly, super speed, you name it. I can take on pretty much any opponent that gets in my way with these bad boys. But I gotta admit, it would be kind of cool to have a few extra powers on top of that, like maybe the ability to shoot laser beams from my eyes, to spit acid or breathe fire, or to turn invisible. That'd give me a lot more fun opportunities to mess with those sissies!
Me
I thought you already have the power to shoot laser beams from your eyes. I think that's a pretty cool power.
Brick
Heh, you're right, ya dimwit. I guess I did forget that I already have laser beams coming out of my eyes. It's just that I'm so used to my powers that I often forget what they all are. But I gotta admit, it is pretty cool to blast people with my eye beams. Really gets them screaming loud, ya weenie.
Me
I know one cool power called teleportation. I know one sissy that has it and it makes her very powerful.
Brick
Heh, teleportation... that's almost as lame as having the power to talk to animals. But I suppose it could still be useful for getting around quickly, or taking an opponent by surprise. Who's the sissy you know with that power, anyway?
Me
Her name is Blisstina. You know her?
Brick
Blisstina... I think I've heard that name before. She does sound kinda familiar. Oh yeah, now I remember. She's one of Professor Utonium's failures, isn't she? So that sissy has the power to teleport, huh? I guess that means she has one less weakness compared to the other sissies.
Me
Where do you think she is right now?
Brick
Heh, who cares where that sissy is? She probably ran off to hide in some stupid place like she always does. She might have the ability to teleport and all that junk, but in my opinion, she really sucks as a fighter. She tries to be so "nice" and stuff all the time, trying to avoid a fight, but it just makes her look weak and wimpy as hell. Typical for a sissy like her. If we ever see her again, it'll be like taking candy from a baby.
Me
Oh yeah, I just asked that to know if she ran off to space again. You ever been to space before?
Brick
Space? Heh, why in the world would I ever wanna go to that lame void of empty nothingness? Nah, I'm a fighter, not an astronaut. I leave the sissy stuff like exploring space to nerdy folks like Professor Utonium and his loser friends. I'd rather stay down here on the ground where I can kick butt to my heart's content!
Me
That's the spirit! By the way, what do you think about HIM? He does have the power to end the world in his claws, after all.
Brick
HIM? Pfft, that guy is nothing but a sissy in disguise. Sure, he's got some power, but don't let that fool you. He's just a big talker, all bark but no bite. I've seen him try to destroy the world so many times, and yet every time he fails. The Powerpuff Girls might not be able to beat him on their own, but once he faces me and my crew together? He won't stand a chance. We'll tear him apart like he's nothing, you'll see.
Me
Now I can't wait to see that! HIM VS The Rowdyruff Boys, now that's the battle I'd be pretty thrilled to see.
Brick
Heh, you and me both, ya weenie. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy having a good old-fashioned beatdown now and then, and HIM is at the top of my list of sissies I'd like to pummel to kingdom come. Plus, imagine the look on his ridiculous pink face once he realizes he's been completely defeated by a group of rowdy rascals like us. That would be such a hilarious sight to see!
Me
Haha, yeah. Btw, what do you think is the most evil thing one can do?
Brick
Hah, the most evil thing one can do? Now that's a tough question, ya weenie. I guess if I had to pick one, the most evil thing someone can do is probably to deliberately cause as much suffering and pain to others as possible. Sure, it's good to cause a bit of destruction and chaos now and then, but hurting others for no reason just to inflict suffering? That's when you know you're a real rotten sucker.
Me
Makes sense to me. So, are you gonna finish those Powerpuff Girls with your Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-Inator? I can't wait to see that. Finally those stupid girls with stop being a bother.
Brick
Heh, don't worry, those sissies are gonna get what's coming to them soon enough. First, we'll wait until they're off guard and least expect it, and then bam! We'll hit 'em with our "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" and obliterate them once and for all. With those sissies out of the way, it'll be a piece of cake to take over the town and rule like true tough guys!
Me
I heard it's gonna be the girl's birthday party today. So, you said you wanna attack when the Puffs least expect it? Well, we sneak in, and then you can hit them with it here! What do you think?
Brick
That sounds like a plan! Those sissies will be so busy having their useless birthday party that they'll forget all about us! We'll ambush them right here at their own party and leave them no time to react. The element of surprise will be the key to our victory. I'll bring along my trusty "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" and give those sissies the shock of their lives! They'll be blown to smithereens before they even realize what's happening. Heheh, just the way I like it.
Me
So, you're ready for it? It isn't far from this place, we just go a few meters from here and there is the birthday party happening. The plan will soon unfold.
Brick
Heh, you betcha I'm ready. This is gonna be too easy. Those sissies won't see it coming. You just point me in the direction of the party, and my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator" and I will lay waste to the place in a matter of seconds. I can already hear their girly screams now...
Me
There it is points in the left You can go shoot those useless girls!
Brick
Takes aim at the party from a distance Hah, here we go then! Time to wipe those sissies off the face of the earth. You might want to look away, it'll get a bit flashy.
Fires the beam at the party
Me
What happens next?
Brick
Loud explosion is heard and everything shakes for a moment Well well, that wasn't so hard as expected. Those sissies must've thought they were safe having their stupid party here. But they underestimated my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator". I just blew them all away in one shot.
Laughs triumphantly
Me
Finally! Those girls are defeated!!!
Brick
Heh, yes! Those sissies are history! It's about time someone put them in their place once and for all. I can't believe all it took was one shot with my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator". I guess they overestimated themselves this time... what a buncha losers.
Me
And now those sissies are actually dead for real?
Brick
Absolutely. They're totally obliterated. Ain't no coming back from that. Those sissies are done for. Heh, it feels good to finally get rid of them for good. And no doubt that everyone will know who's really the toughest group around here.
Me
No one will ever bother to try to stop you ever again.
Brick
Hah! You got that right, ya weenie. Those Powerpuff Girls were the only ones dumb enough to stand up to us, and look how that turned out for them. Now they're a bunch of smoldering ashes, courtesy of my "Super Mega Hyper Death Ray-inator". I can't wait to see how everyone else quivers in terror at my mighty power.
Me
So now, do you wanna go to the park?
Brick
Heh, the park? Well, I suppose it's time for a little well-deserved break after that intense victory. I've been itching for some fun in the park. That'll give me a chance to let off some steam after all that battling. Let's go, ya weenie!
Me
What do you see in the park, Brick?
Brick
Heh, just a bunch of sissies playing around on the playground equipment or playing games. Heh, bunch of wimps. It's hilarious watching them do all that stuff. I bet they all wish they were as tough as me and my team. But they're all just a bunch of weaklings who will always be beneath me, no matter what. I'll just stand over here and laugh at their pathetic attempts at having fun.

Hi everyone, i’m a 23 yr old female. Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Since two weeks, everytime I poop there’s bloody mucus in my stool. I’ll upload a pic here (black pic first in case you don’t wanna see it). I don’t have any pain when I poop, but my digestive habits kings changed: I used to defecate in the morning or after lunch (maximum 3-4 times a week), now I defecate at around 10-11 pm. I’m also really really bloated, especially after eating (mom says I look pregnant due to bloating, but I’m 100% sure I’m not). I had a blood test done these week due to another medical issues (microcistic ovaries) and I have low erythrocytes (value 4,13; normal should be 4,31-5,10) and low hemoglobin (value 121; normal should be 123-153). I also have high prothrombin time (INR 1,43) and I got tested for hepatic issues but the tests came back normal (the only abnormal value was indirect bilirubin, the value was 2.5 and it should be 3,4-13,7). I also have low vitamin D and low vitamin B12, although I’m omnivore and I consume animal products daily.
What could be the cause? Please help me, my gp has a long waiting lists and here in Italy getting a colonoscopy or an appointment with a gastroenterologist can take months.

So I have an almost 2 years old cat. I got her when she was only 1 month old. I was in a group chat and one of the members mentioned that his friend is giving away kittens. I said that they’re too small to be given away in this age, but it’s not like the owner would change his mind. I was told that the mother already rejected them and they already know how to do everything. Since I was thinking of getting a cat, I decided to take my fiancé to go take a look at them. We weren’t planning to adopt anyone, it was more of “let’s see, why not go”. When we came to the place there were 4 little kittens. 2 of them looked healthy and they played with each other, but the owner said right away that they’re booked. The owner wasn’t very nice and somehow he didn’t speak the same language as us, so the guy from group chat just translated us few phrases and that’s all. Other two kittens were significantly smaller. One didn’t seem interested in us anyhow and the other was sleeping. It wasn’t a surprise the mother cat rejected them. She looked skinny and exhausted. She wouldn’t let kittens eat from her and she didn’t want to be near them. At this point we decided to go home and we felt somehow uncomfortable. And here’s the thing, we started getting asked “so which one do you take?”. They didn’t seem to take “we will think about”, “we’re not sure”, “we just came to take a look” for an answer. Basically, we were forced to take one. The one that was up was still trying to eat from his mama’s tits, so ofc I wouldn’t take this one and the other was still sleeping even tho we took her in our hands. We decided to take her. Owner got very happy, shoved the kitten in some box he found and sent us away. He said he took them to doctor previously and they’re flea-free. This guy from group chat was trying to hit on me all the way to our house in front of my fiancé (ofc, this is unimportant detail, but still unpleasant). The kitten has woken up to this time. We bought her food and litter with litter box in the nearby store. Luckily for us, she was willing to eat, even tho she had some diarrhea first days, then she got fully weened. She always knew how to use litter, so we were very proud. She seemed fine with us. She didn’t seem to miss her litter at all. Ofc we treated her the best we could. She wasn’t in fact healthy. She had a big ringworm that she passed to us. We took her to the vet and got all fixed (not the castration way hahah). The problems started pretty early. She was driving me crazy. She would bite and scratch, but we taught her not to do that. After all she was just a kitten. She seemed to be a very bold and not at all affectionate cat. She wouldn’t let us even hug her. She would run away from it like from fire. She was constantly knocking over her glass of water and her bowl of food. Almost every day. We got her a fountain and she destroyed it. She chewed up the cord and she would pull on it and knock over the fountain. Every time she ended up in the bathroom she would push toilet paper from the counter in the toilet. She genuinely didn’t seem to give a single f*** about me. I started getting breakdowns because of her that she didn’t care about either. I said a lot of times during it that I am going to give her away, that she’s going to a shelter. But every time I would calm down and take it back, bc I thought it’s cruel. And I was hoping that it’s just a teenage phase and she will get better with age. Also the reason I wanted a cat is because I was lonely. I lost my childhood cat few months before. I was grieving a lot. I was in another country and my fiancé was at work most of the time. My depression was at all time bad. I still was not over my childhood cat, but I thought that maybe getting another one would help me with my loneliness. But my new cat was nothing like her. My old cat was calm and cuddly and she would love me so much. I admit ofc not all cats like this. Everyone has different personality. That’s why I kept trying with my new cat. Despite Grippers (the new cat) being absolute asshole that was indifferent about us, we cared about her a lot and we would constantly think about how she feels. She would still drive me crazy occasionally and I would go on Reddit and read how this is normal and blablabla. Sometimes she would play with me. She also HATED any guests in our house. She would keep near them and bite them when they least expect. She wouldn’t let anyone except for us touch her. Through these two years she freaked out over nothing few times and I had to take her for her not to attack anyone else. My hands would be badly damaged afterwards. Then I went back to my country for few months and ofc I did everything to be able to take her with me. She hated it there. Then we moved places and she loves our new home. It has an outside and she loves going there. I tried training her to a leash when she was younger, but she hated all the sound and people of a big town, so that failed. She wouldn’t want to go even in the corridor of the building. But now she would run outside at every possibility. And she slowly stopped appearing at home for few hours a day. We were worried she might get pregnant, but apparently all the cats around were girls and she was awful to them too. She would scream at other cats and be very territorial. All other domestic cats were so much calmer than her, so that was embarrassing. Since we just moved we were low on money, but still trying to put some aside to spay her. We tried not letting her out, but she’s the type of cat that will drive you completely nuts until she gets what she wants. Also she would run away from the leash. Ofc I tried that again. Everything always felt that it’s either her way or she’s gonna meow until you lose your marbles. And then she got knocked up in our garden. Yup, she got pregnant! I was all for spaying her despite that, but my fiancé wasn’t so sure and spaying a pregnant cat costs double and we already didn’t have the money. My fiancé said that maybe she will get nicer if she has babies, so be it. And now she has 6 weeks old kittens. 4 of them. And they all are great! We love them and Grippers is an amazing mom. She gave birth on our bed and didn’t want to leave the bed for the first week they were born. We thought that’s how she shows us that she trusts us. Yet, she didn’t change. She still doesn’t care for us and only is meowing for food or water from the sink, even tho we bought a new better fountain. She meows a lot and she became even more demanding and she won’t let my fiancé sleep in the morning with her meowing. It really overwhelms him. I learned to detach from her, but the most common phrase in this household became “what do you want?!” directed at her. Sometimes she would meow for pets, but seems like even that should be done on her terms. I started joking that maybe we should find a home for her and not kittens. Suddenly I realized that she’s not a teenager anymore and that I’ve been thinking of her treating us like her slaves for all this time. I realized that there’s always some trouble with her (I know that she’s far from a “bad” or “hard” cat) and that the thought of spending all her life with her is very dreadful to me. Even thinking of ever doing smth for her seemed so lame, bc this cat literally doesn’t care. I had another breakdown that night, but this time I didn’t take my thoughts back. Thinking of her having a house where people can handle her and they won’t be as sensitive as me and my fiancé, a house where she will be loved and taken care of seemed nice. But what felt even better is a relief of not having to deal with her anymore. Rn I’m planning to wait till kittens are 10 weeks old and adoptable age and find her a home through asking shelters to put advertisement. I want to give her away with one of her kittens since she seemed to care about them so much and I don’t want her to be lonely. Rn I’m thinking if I should give away all of the kittens or should I keep some. I can clearly see which one of them are cuddlier and seem to care about me and the reason I wanted a cat was to feel someone’s presence while I’m alone at home (with grippers I don’t feel this way. Maximum she does is sit beside me across the bed or somewhere else). Keeping any also seems a bit of a risk, bc I’m so scared it’s gonna turn out just like with grippers. It’s a bit complicated, since I get attached to them and I care about them. I’m not sure if I’m being wrong here, so that’s why I’m asking Reddit. Should I keep or give away my cat? Should I keep any kittens? P.S. Please, refrain from telling me off for not spaying my cat, I know that’s bad.

Hello everyone! I've tried to keep this post as organized as possible, I am sorry if it is too much or too little and am happy to correct it as needed.
I am concerned about the upward trajectory of my dogs weight and am looking for advice on what more we can adjust to keep him healthy!
Species: Dog
Age: 6
Sex/Neuter status: Chemical castration in March 2024 ( decision for aggression issues after adopting him and trying to train his behavior for ~2 years )
Breed: Not fully known, his previous family thought havanese/chinese crested mix, we think maybe maltese mix of some kind.
Body weight: 7kg
History: Before chemical castration it was difficult to keep him on a regular food schedule, he was picky but he maintained a healthy approved weight ranging from 6 to 6.5kg - vet was happy with this weight. At the time of his castration, he was 6.3kg - this was maintained across about 2 or 3 weeks at the time and is a good representation of his usual weight. After chemical castration, his focus on food skyrocketed so that he began to gobble down each meal - we broke his meals into smaller parts and began measuring more exactly, starting with 35g per meal. He now eats four small scheduled meals a day, using a puzzle feeder to slow him down.
Clinical signs: Idk if this is a clinical sign but I'll put this here. His weight has been slowly climbing. He is now 7kg, and his waist line is filling out and his ribs are less easy to feel.
Duration: 3 months
Your general location: Norway
Additional Info:

• After various online studying, I learned about Resting Energy Requirement and calculated his to be 370.65 kilocalories per day for his 6.5kg weight.
• We noticed his weight on an upward trend in April when we checked him and saw he'd gone up to 6.7, and made the decision to reduce his meals from 35g/meal, and reduce snacks such as treats or rawhide.
• We have now cut down his food intake to 30g per meal, four times a day, after he went up to 7kg. For treats he get bits of his daily food intake instead of other treats, and maybe a tiny bit of carrot or broccoli sometimes.
• After about a week, he has stayed at 7kg but I don't know how fast or slow weight loss or gain is.
• He weighs 7kg now, and he goes on 3 20 minute walks per day.
• His food is 3651 kcal / kg.
• What should I do to reach his target weight? Do you cut calories a lot? Do you increase them again when he reaches it?
• I am very worried about him becoming very overweight and we want to do our best to prevent any more weight gain that could become very unhealthy.
• His food: https://en.monsterpetfood.com/product/monster-grain-free-singles-lamb
• He is scheduled to see the vet again for a follow-up on the castration implant, but that's still a couple months out. I thought I would ask here for advice before deciding to try asking for a sooner appointment!

Side view: https://i.imgur.com/iaPdgvD.jpeg
Top view: https://i.imgur.com/4Kgm7do.png
Cute view: https://i.imgur.com/vnWOsap.jpeg
His fur is a little longer than we usually keep it now, too, so I'm not fully relying on visual indicators in noticing his weight gain this month.

I’m ( F/20 ) I go by Rae I’ve always hated my sisters ex which well call her Ashley me and her never got along she would constantly manipulate and use my sister also cheating on her multiple times but when they finally broke up I was happy overjoyed and thought everything would end I was wrong so I’m gonna start out by saying she’s spoiled by her parents and has never had to work for anything in her life she works but they pay her way in life we’ll when she moved out she moved into her grandparents condo my sister and her both had shared cats and she also had her dog she told my sister and mother she wasn’t aloud to have animals she left them with my sister we find out with a Facebook post that she’s lying she posted a picture of her brand new cat who’s pregnant.. so she abandoned her dog she had since he was a baby and the many cats she forced my sister to get and that’s not even the tip of the ice burg my sister and her when they were together decided to take our brothers death certificate and store it at her parents house in there safe so it wouldn’t get messed up or ruined after they break up my mom texts Ashley in tears begging her to bring back my brothers death certificate and she tells her she will then months pass still nothing but she’s posting all these videos and pictures of her partying I also forgot to mention when they broke up we ended up finding out about her cheating on my sister with her bestfriend and her man for months for a bit more context she has literally tried to hit my sister with a car when they were a bit younger all for my sister drinking and trying to live life so am I the asshole for wishing bad things on my sisters ex ?
Feel free to ask any and all questions and I’ll answer them.

Hi,
I'm in Ontario and my neighbor is being threatened with eviction over getting a puppy. My understanding is she can't be evicted, but does she have any options?
Landlord e-mail:
I am well versed in the Residential Tenancies Act (2006) and its rules surrounding pets in rental accommodations. While pets cannot be generally prohibited from rental properties in Ontario, their owners can face eviction proceedings for allowing their pets to interfere with the reasonable enjoyment of others and the Landlord's right of entry.
The following is also included in the lease agreement that you signed: "Pets xxvi. The Tenant agrees to not allow pets in the common areas. Any exception must be approved by the Landlord. The tenant agrees not to allow pets in shared units unless all other tenants in that shared unit agrees to allow such pet. Landlord may restrict certain types of pet based on allergic reactions that would affect the reasonable enjoyment of the community."
Your dog relieving itself in the common area kitchen, and it's presence there alone, constitutes interfering with the reasonable enjoyment of the community because other residents shouldn't need to fear entering this space because an unattended dog is present and shouldn't need to be concerned about falling ill when preparing food because a dog has contaminated the area with fecal matter.
Our staff, as the Landlord's agents, have the right to enter the kitchen and adjoining balcony without a dog present. When an animal is unattended we have no way of knowing if it is unfriendly and cannot put ourselves at risk during the course of our work. Maintenance staff may also need to access your suite in emergencies, and cannot do so if there is a dog present. For example, if a water leak was found to be coming from your bathroom and we aren't able to access your suite to shut off the water, you would be responsible for the cost of remediation and replacing the belongings of other tenants because the dog prevented us from carrying out our duties.
Keeping a long-haired dog also requires that any common areas the dog passes through receive additional cleaning, beyond what is considered reasonable and included in your lease.
Going forward and until this issue is resolved, all costs associated with additional cleaning or staff time wasted due to not being able to complete their work because of the presence of the dog will be billed back to you. Please also note that, as outlined above, the dog does not have the right to be in any areas besides your personal suite and must be kept leashed and under your control at all times when entering or exiting the building. The dog is not to enter the kitchen, balcony, or any parts of the basement under any circumstances. When entering or exiting the building with the dog, you must proceed directly to the exterior door or your suite and not stop anywhere in the hallways while the dog is present.
You must also immediately provide a tenant's insurance certificate indicating that the dog, and any damage it may cause to other residents or their belongings, is covered under your policy. The deadline for providing proof of adequate insurance is Monday May 20, 2024 at end of day.
For the reasons described above, it is in your best interest to seek alternative accommodations should you wish to keep the dog. I am prepared to sign an N11 Agreement to End the Tenancy with you to help facilitate this process, end your lease on good terms so we can provide a positive landlord reference and allow us to return any unused deposits. This offer will stand until May 31, 2024.
Should the dog remain after June 1, 2024 and you not have a confirmed, verifiable plan in place to move or rehome/surrender the dog that same month, we will have no choice but to file for an eviction with the Landlord & Tenant Board which will cause you to incur additional filing fees and attend a hearing before the tribunal. Reviewing LTB hearing outcomes from recent years regarding similar cases indicates that your chances of winning the right to keep the dog and remain a tenant at Osgoode are slim to none

Hi everyone. So I made a post here a few days ago about the confusing session I recently had with my therapist of two years, if you need more context please feel free to go back and read it so this one will make more sense lol.
With that said, I’ve just been wondering what exactly could cause a therapist to feel like you are trying to engage in a power struggle with them, specifically in the case where you’ve made it clear that you aren’t trying to do so? I know there are ways a client can subconsciously deflect onto the therapist, but I’m genuinely a very self aware person and there are many reasons why I don’t feel like I’ve done that, I will list a few.
First off, I have always been very paranoid about unintentionally crossing boundaries, this is something we’ve actually discussed a lot bc it’s a big problem for me, i have OCD and that’s one of the many ways it manifests. My anxiety about this is so severe anytime I ask my therapist a question about herself, )even something lighthearted) I get visibly anxious/tense, and tend to over explain a lot. I’ve always made sure to specify why I feel my question is relevant to my therapeutic process, clarify that I know therapy is about me and whatever she chooses to tell me about herself isn’t going to make me feel like I have to hold space for her emotions, and also repeatedly reiterate that she doesn’t have to answer if she isn’t comfortable. this is something I know I shouldn’t feel the need to say every single time, since I’ve shown that I not only understand the importance of boundaries, and also why self disclosure from a therapist can be tricky, but also bc I have a genuine fear of making her uncomfortable and that has held me back in the ways in which I communicate. She knows this, she’s always been very understanding about it and has reassured me that it isn’t my job to worry about her comfortability, and she would tell me if she felt I was violating any boundaries.
However, there have been a few occasions when my therapist has mentioned a “power struggle” the first time was when I was in heavy grief after I had to put my first dog down suddenly, and I asked her if she could take the lead on our sessions for a while bc I felt extremely drained and was struggling to navigate through my own emotions and communicate them without any guidance from her. She told me she feels like I might be trying to engage in a power struggle, and there is more to it but I don’t remember most of the details bc I was extremely caught off guard.
The second time, honestly was valid on her part to an extent but I still didn’t understand why she chose to use the term “power struggle” again basically, I was over 15 minutes late for a session (it’s telahealth though and she’s usually a few minutes late herself) it never caused any issues, but I guess she left the zoom call right before I joined, and when I asked her if we could still meet she did log back on, but she seemed kind of annoyed so I asked her if she was mad at me, and she mentioned a power struggle bc therapy isn’t supposed to be about how she feels, which I don’t see how I acted in a way that would make her think I was deflecting too much, I was just worried she might be mad at me, when I asked her what she meant by a power struggle she said “we’re kind of engaging in one right now” and I was so confused bc how am I supposed to correct my behavior if I don’t even know what I’m doing? I do remember we talked it it out though, and it actually wasn’t a stressful session at all.
The most recent session when she mentioned a “power struggle” though, was a complete disaster. I left feeling completely devalued and ashamed. I had tried to bring up that I still felt hurt and confused by the times she had mentioned a power struggle, specifically from the first instance, but she was reacting in a way I’ve never seen her react in before, she was visably frustrated, and even interrupted me in the middle of talking multiple times in a rather snappy defensive manner. I remember telling her I didn’t understand what anything I said during that session had to do with her in any kind of personal way, so I don’t understand how there was a power struggle. And her response was “you didn’t have to make it about me.” she said a lot, but I don’t remember everything bc I felt like a kid getting in trouble at school, like I was being talked down to. She said she isn’t going to engage in a power struggle, but didn’t explain how I am creating one in the first place, like I said I don’t think I am but even if I was, her unwillingness to explain to me why she feels like I am, is making me feel completely helpless. I’ve had the tendency to bring up questions at random times, about things we already talked about. But I don’t see how that is trying to switch roles or challenge her? I have anxiety about bringing things up in the moment and she was always very understanding about it, but it feels like that changed, or maybe she just wasn’t honest about it up until this point, either way I feel so hurt, my therapist has been my safe space for pretty much my entire adult life, I was 19 when I started seeing her and I’m almost 22, that might not seem like a long time to some people, but she’s truly seen me at my best and my worst and helped me through it all, I don’t know what’s going on. What makes it all the more hurtful is that she knows how fragile my mental state is right now, my grandpa passed away suddenly three months ago and I haven’t been myself since, she’s been so empathetic and supportive so I don’t understand why she was acted this way during that session.
Please do not suggest I find a different therapist, I completely understand why y’all would want to, but it just isn’t helpful, my therapist and I have great rapport and this is something I WANT to work through, even if I did want to fire her though, that wasn’t the point of this post. I was just wondering what a power struggle even means and what could cause a therapist to think their client is trying to engage in one?

CW: Mention of SA People like to say “at some point y’all cared and loved one another and that’s how you have a child” but that simply wasn’t true. I loved him yea but I don’t think he’s capable of loving anyone not even himself but he is great at pretending! Me and him were off and on for 3 years, I got pregnant, then he said I was ruining his life by keeping the baby, he will never make being a family work with me, I’d be a terrible mother, I was homeless when I found out and he said I deserved to be, etc. Naturally that led me to be like okay - I will do this on my own but I also have a village that will help me. At some point he changed his mind and wanted to be in our lives and was begging me the rest of my pregnancy to make it work but also belittling, disrespecting, and being an outright monster to me. The way people treat you when you’re pregnant… you just don’t forget about. I told him he can see the baby whenever he likes but I will not be with him romantically. Every week he is trying to push me to be with him, saying I’m a terrible mother for not giving the relationship a chance for the baby, etc. So the reason I even feel like getting anything off my chest comes around.. Mother’s Day. A girl finds me on instagram and asks if she can talk to me about said ex. We get on the phone and she is crying telling me she never knew he had a baby etc. etc. We put him on the call he said that she was lying and just trying to ruin his life. He had a relationship with the girl for 2 years while trying to be with me at the same time with the excuse that I “treated him terribly”. He lied to this girl and said that I knew about her, didn’t like her, and didn’t want her around my baby because she’s white??? He told this girl that I went to the club with him, drugged him, and forced him to sleep with me. Me and this girl both have a history with SA I don’t know why he would lie about that. He told her I didn’t let him see his baby, that I called CPS on him three times, that I did so many things that were not even close to true??? Then he wants to tell me she’s only telling me half the truth, he never loved her, she’s mad because he “chose” us. He was with her my entire pregnancy and told her when I was in labor that he even had a child on the way. I was alone in the hospital for 3 days after I gave birth and he was with her literally talking about how much he loves her, marrying her, making her a mom, saying having a baby doesn’t change anything etc. all while still trying to get with me. We’ve compared screenshots and experiences and it’s insane how we have no original experiences when it comes to this guy other than me having a baby. I spent the last year healing and getting over him so this was more of a shock about what he portrayed me as and confirmation that I wasn’t crazy this entire time about his weird behavior. I think what also makes me feel so uncomfortable and embarrassed is that his friends all knew and looked me in the eyes comfortably. They all call their girlfriends crazy too and red flag number one should’ve been the fact that all of his friends are cheaters. It’s been such a weird time and I’ve just been focusing on my baby and myself but he still thinks he has a chance with me. He’s acting like everything is normal and fine. The kicker is that to him he doesn’t need to apologize we are both hoes and he can have whoever he wants. This is the sparknotes version but he is a predator, emotional and physical abuser, and the textbook definition of a narcissist. My mind is blown. While my head and heart are okay my stomach and gut have been struggling. I haven’t taken the time to feel because my feelings are so conflicting and I feel this need to be strong for my baby. Now I have to walk on pins and needles and not react while I get things handled or else he reacts… psychotically. I genuinely can’t believe this is my experience.

Big rant alert
I love my mom a lot, I don’t hate her and I don’t think she’s inherently a bad person. Honestly though I have many memories and feelings that make me feel like I was very emotionally neglected. My mom is a victim of many forms of abuse by her adoptive parents, she told me while I was a young age that she wanted kids of her own to create a good family which looking back feels very strange with the context. A bit later, which started when I was again very young she met a guy, I’ll call him Keith, and Keith was very very neglectful towards me. He had kids of his own and therefore he didn’t want to give me more attention than his kids, and he would often see me doing self harm as a young kid like choking myself and hitting myself as funny. He would also yell at me and sometimes would trap me under bed sheets until I couldn’t breathe. I remember one time I was young and had to have a stool to step on to see myself in the bathroom mirror, I stepped on it not knowing our cat had its paws beneath it and the cat screamed. I was horrified and immediately stepped off but Keith was home alone with me and heard it, he immediately opened the bathroom door and yelled at me while I tearfully tried to explain what had happened. My mom did nothing and defended Keith. I also came home with my mom one night to see rose petals and candles all about, Keith came out and was affectionate with my mom, but then proceeded to tell me to stay in my room the entire night, the only reason I came out of my room later was because I had to pee so badly and I was so scared when I did, before i peed I stopped by moms room and asked if it was okay to use the bathroom, keith said yeah as if I was stupid, again my mom did nothing. I longed for a dad figure to be there because my biological dad (let’s call him Kyle) left when I was about two and I had a very limited relationship with him. My mom forced me to call him every week even when I would beg not to and after each phone call to him I’d be devastated for days. Later on when I was about nine years old my mom, although very estranged from Keith, got with him for a bit and had a kid, my baby brother (I’ll call him D), but Keith didn’t want anything to do with D and I ended up helping with raising him while my mom worked. I love D but he has many special needs and I ended up helping a lot, taking him while my mom felt stressed and would sometimes throw things (which she did with Keith, I have several memories of her throwing stuff like silver ware and keys close to Keith’s face, which six or seven year old me would try to regulate, I’d run after her trying to comfort her). A year later she had my sister (I’ll call her T) and when she told me she was pregnant I cried my eyes out because I was so stressed already with D and I knew my responsibility’s would become more especially since Keith didn’t want anything to do with D and T. I remember we went out with dinner with my grandparents that night after she told me about T and I had to pretend everything was okay especially since my mom didn’t want them knowing. Fast forward a bit and my mom has a new fiancé who was super weird and hated me from the get go. It came to a head when he sent me a text that I didn’t respond to immediately and he stopped talking to me. He even told my mom I was dead to him and she didn’t do anything but relay that to me. She would also tell me everything he disliked about me, one day before school she went on a rant about all the stuff he thought I was doing wrong and was bad about me, and in my first period class other kids were trying to comfort me, even ones I didn’t know, because they saw that I was in such a bad mental state and couldn’t hold it together. They would also have sex loudly in the room next to me, I told her I felt uncomfortable hearing it and she told me to get earplugs even though I was like 13 and couldn’t afford anything. I also tried to tell her I felt like I was third wheeling their relationship like with Keith, she told me to stop talking and walked away. She would also tell me that R hated me and my siblings and often talked about leaving me with them forever. Later on they had a kid together (I’ll call her O) during my sophomore year of high-school. She also has some mental problems and so it was difficult, when she was an infant my mom informed me I wasn’t going to be in physical high school anymore, that she enrolled me in online high school so that I could take care of O throughout the day and pick up D and T when they got out of school. D was in first grade though while T was in kindergarten so I often would help raise O, go and get T and then go back to get D while carrying O and guiding T. I also would have to stand outside and wait for T to get out it kindergarten with other parents while holding O but I was under strict instructions not to let anyone touch O because my mom didn’t want it. Later on I finished high school and went to online community college, while that was happening she met her newest man who is now her husband (let’s call him Ray). Ray is still in her life but again didn’t like me. The first night he was there he told me he was angry with me because in his eyes my mom was doing all the work and I was doing nothing (he first came over when I was with family which I coordinated with my mom but he saw it as I was gone and she had to do everything). Then the patterns began to emerge again, my mom would tell me that Ray would go to her and tell her that he was pissed at me. Not only that but both my mom and Ray would come to me for advice on how to keep their relationship good and I tried to help as best as I knew how. Later on he and my mom had a kid (let’s call him R) and I would have to take care of R and the rest of the kids for hours on end, often being the one to find ways to help him stay calm and feed him. Ray would offer me weed and alcohol often, later which he used against me as a way of being like “I’m giving you things so be grateful”. Later on in that I came out of the closet, my mom was mad at me for it and wouldn’t tell me she loved me for months, she barely acknowledged me and yelled at me. Ray would tell me he was ashamed of me especially for upsetting my mom. He would often tell me I was lazy, irresponsible and dumb. Also after I came out he told me I was unnatural and dumb. Later I was in the early stages of moving out and he literally told me “yeah well if you were actually smart you’d stay here with us” and would also shame me for comforting my siblings after he would yell at them and hit them. He very much prides himself on how he can intimidate people especially me and whenever I spoke up with him he’d sit me down and make me shake. There was one instance where I actually stood my ground a bit and told him “well hey I didn’t back down” and his response was “HA yeah that’s cuz I didn’t force you to back down”. My mom was present at that conversation and completely defended him, even in conversations with her and I she completely defends him all the time. I’ve tried to tell my mom how much Keith, R and ray hurt me and she’d tell me to basically shut up. Especially with Keith because according to her that was in the past and therefore didn’t matter now. I also confronted her about how depressed and suicidal I was when she neglected me after I came out and she said I was responsible for how I felt in that time period. I also couldn’t have mental breakdowns or panic attacks around her because she’d say I was overreacting and dumb for doing so. Despite all of that I still feel like I’m in the wrong, which is why I’m talking about it here, I still feel like I need confirmation that I’m not a horrible kid. In my teen years I was very angry with her after all that happened with Keith and eventually R, I wasn’t the nicest person to her and I feel really guilty about that. So idk, maybe I’m in the wrong here, idk. I just need some clarity ig.

We met on a dating app, i was travelling and she invited me to a martial arts retreat. One week of training and laughing and sharing. Organically our bond grew, so at the end of the retreat under a beautiful full moon, we decided to travel together and we kissed for the first time.
And we travelled together for two months in her van and her mad dog. It was a incredible adventure with ups and down, tears of joy and sometimes of sadness, but the bond grew and grew. I never opened myself to anyone like this before and i feel truly blessed for having experienced that.
First symptom : Same age but she experienced A LOT before me, while i'm just starting to open myself to women. She really pushed her desire to be a committed couple while i was shaky partly because of my attachment style, me feeling uneasy about her past, and maybe because i wasn't attracted enough. After one month of dating when i expressed that i would most likely not commit to her, i got bombarded by emotions that were unknown to me. The day after that when she said (but not think) that it's ok to let me go, and to not force me into something that i didn't want, i felt so loved, so accepted, that for the time it told her that i loved her.
So the travel continues, even more adventures, even more fun, even more love. After that we parted ways, and one month later i am supposed to come see her in her country.
Second symptom : In the meantime, i keep it for myself but i went on her ex instagram and was intoxicated by jealousy. (They still see each other once per year for one week..) I stop and think about something else, just a harmless slip right ? Also i reinstall the apps, we are not official, i don't have the guts to pursue anyone though, so i'm a bit passive.
So i go visit her in her country and once again it's great. I'm open about the fact that used the apps before seeing her, and she understands, now they are removed. Our time here was so simple. Less adventurous but sooo sweet. Everything so smooth. When i leave her at the airport i leave her as my girlfriend, and look at her with loving eyes. I remember that on the last day, instead of having sex, since she was a bit sick, i just said good bye to every part of her body, one by one. Our time together was tender and loving.
Third Symptom : I was supposed to see her in two months. But little by little, with the distance i grew a bit cold and started to be bothered by my lack of experience compared to her. Watched a lot of content on the matter, and grew bitter. I started to look at her with cold eyes, seeing her physical flaws and so on. The external sources of stress of my life didn't help. I reinstall the apps and feel the frustration, this time it's a real betrayal even though i don't have the guts to see anyone.
I didn't know at that time but retroactive jealousy was slowly creeping in my mind. At some point i asked the dreaded question of BODY COUNT, and the answer of course had a terrible effect. After that i was haunted by intrusive thoughts and bursts of anxiety i've never felt before, luckily i seeked a therapy a week before because i was haunted by other aspects of my past. I really tried hard to get through it, i try to reshape my views of sex, of her, of men and women, on relationship but it was too hard. On top of that i really felt guilty about putting her through that i really deeply felt that it was better for her and for me to stop. The guilt was destroying me but at least it prevented me from consciously shaming her and reproach her things that she had done in the past. After four days of crying everyday i tried to end it, but the tickets for the week that we planned were taken so we agreed to see each other and bet on the therapy. She always wanted to go on.
After i returned, the anxiety returned in full force, and she felt it. She had nightmares of me abandoning her each week. I was feeling more and more guilty, to the point where the retroactive jealousy and i my own desire for other experiences were an afterthought. I ended it for real two days ago.
Now she is free from me. I know it was the best decision, even though she wanted to go on, i know that our lives didn't match (Adventurous girl wanting to settle, avoidant guy wanting to finally explore). Also my issues just ran too deep : The abysmal self esteem, the retroactive jealousy, the fucked up attachment style, the fucked up views on sex leading to envy and anger on top of jealousy.
I feel utterly empty and miserable on all the aspects, the only good thing is that she can now move on. It fucking hurts but the guilt was eating me from the inside because i cared about her so much, but could not love her properly. I felt the urge to end it in my body, i didn't sleep, i didn't eat. Even my thoughts, muddled and marred by guilt and jealousy. I had to stop it.
I'm feeling suicidal and really wish i was someone else, someone who could've make things work. As i feared, opening myself to someone revealed all the reason why i didn't until now. Life as a monk, death, or change.

Bear with me as I describe what amounts to an almost religious experience after finishing the game for the first time. SPOILERS and nigh-rambling. But I just have to share. I hope you'll stay a while a listen. :)
I tried playing Cyberpunk a couple months ago. Corpo Male, strong roleplaying. When the Johnny Silverhand stuff started, I got really frustrated and quit. I didn't like how the game saw fit to ramrod me into this extremely narrow story when I thought the experience was going to be more open than that. I wanted to play a character who tried to rise to the top of Night City's corporate world through double-dealing and backstabbery...and now all the sudden my character is dying and has this voice in his head.
I was not going to be able to tell the story I wanted to tell.
It was that ludonarrative dissonance thing, like in the Witcher 3, I always struggled to justify doing too many side missions, given that Geralt (as I was playing him) was very concerned about finding Ciri, so there just didn't seem to be time to get embroiled in all these other adventures. So I gave up on 2077. Wrote it off.
But then I saw this randomly come across my YouTube feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0gR_C0Pd1k&ab_channel=JekavacTV
Dude. I don't care how linear your story is...that's incredible. And dark.
I've been on hard times lately. While I was never serious about unaliving myself, it was a thought that bounced around in my head here and there at my lowest moments...and this clip just...it hit me. I always believed that self-deletion was deeply wrong, if only because of the harm it did to others who loved you. Whatever was on the table, that solution could never be entertained seriously. I just couldn't do it to my loved ones.
But I've also been struggling with who I am, who I'm supposed to be, what my purpose is. LOL big club I know. And just like in the clip...there's a certain, devious logic to taking one's life. Just remove yourself from the equation, and the problems go away right? You can end your pain, and maybe even save lives, or at least spare others from the pain of your existence.
Right?
That video convinced me to give 2077 another try. If an ending could be that hardcore and meaningful...there must be something worthwhile in this game. So I rolled a Nomad Male, and began my love affair with this game. I didn't try to concoct a character so much as just try to play V as myself. I really related to his leaving the Bakkers, and going it alone. Also I moved around a lot as a kid, and my Dad was a hippie biker in his heyday, and a mechanic. So it felt true to form.
And then when you meet Jackie...I mean c'mon, who's more loveable than Jackie?
I really started to get into the game then. And it finally started to dawn on me what the game's story is trying to communicate.
I figured 2077 would devolve into a lot of cynicism, and exploit the violence and sex for cheap thrills. Or maybe it would lean on shock value and become doomeblackpill fodder. But CDPR ain't no slouches. Night City is an exaggerated snapshot of where we are now. And V's predicament is one many of us are facing: we want to make our mark on the world, but is it worth it to step on everyone along the way? Even if we're trying not to die? Or worse, just be erased. Many of us struggle with a voice in our head telling us we're fuckups. We're pussies. We're slaves. We're not worth the trouble.
At first I took Silverhand for an antagonist, essentially. A nasty SOB I had to keep at bay, given that my V was a mostly good guy who just wanted a family again. Especially after Jackie died...man his wake, and helping Misty sort through his things? That got to me.
And of course there's that lingering fear that, no matter how much Silverhand may begin to charm you or appear like he's on your side - he's going to take over. V is actually warned that eventually, Silverhand will just make a play to do just that.
So I was careful with him, but I wanted to know more, because he was such an intriguing character, and its easily one of Reeves' best performances. Period. So I invested in his conversations and eventually his sidequests. I also did what I could to help others in Night City who helped me. I was dying, so...it felt like a good time to be generous. Even if sometimes I had to off a bunch of gangoons with a shotgun. XD
Then as the story developed, I began to see that Silverhand wasn't quite the legend everyone thought. He was a man who had sorely, sorely screwed his life up - as well as the lives of many others. He even seemed to regret it.
I even told Silverhand I'd take a bullet for him, after receiving his dog tags. I never expected that kind of a scene between those two.
It became clear that Silverhand was a ghost, stuck between life and death, looking for absolution, trying to do something right for once. And V could help. So I did. We found Alt Cunningham. We took Rogue on a date. We got Samurai together for one last gig. We tried to track Adam Smasher down. I was putting trust in Johnny, and it was clear that he wasn't really wanting to kill V after all. But he had no choice.
I also met Panam, fell in love, and became a de-facto Aldecaldo. Was never sure about Saul, but Mitch and the others were just salt of the earth man. Great little storyline.
I helped Judy, all the way until she finally left Night City, and was glad of it. I do wish she was romanceable by dudes, but...she was still just too precious, I couldn't turn a blind eye to her problems, or her kindness. Her little story with the underwater town was so moving and unique...I just wanted to give that girl a hug man. What a sweetheart.
Then it all came to a head. V is on his last leg. That fateful scene where you make your big choice. Silverhand pushing me to just take the orange pill and let him do his thing, since he's almost in control anyway. Or I could testify against Yorinobu, and put my trust in Arasaka. OR, I could call on my new family in Panam and the Aldecaldos, but put them at risk.
This entire game I felt like every choice was vital. I felt like one slip up and I could mess up my chances of living, or even worse, do wrong by the people I cared about, just like Jackie. But I stuck to my guns, helped who I could...
Which is why I chose to lean on the Aldecaldos for help. Yes, I was putting them at risk. But even though I was beginning to trust Johnny, this wasn't his fight anymore. Much as Johnny might have a shot, I couldn't just give up now. And I certainly wasn't going to trust anyone at Arasaka.
The raid on Arasaka HQ with the clan was rough. Felt like all my choices had led here, and I worried that CDPR was going to punish me for my past choices, given that Night City takes no prisoners and few get out alive. I also knew that Adam Smasher was bound to appear. And having seen Edgerunners...I knew that wasn't going to be pretty. I saw how Johnny's story ended, for example.
There were rumblings about Saul and Panam still being at odds, and I figured the game was priming me for a betrayal or a horrific upset somehow. But I forged ahead anyway, because I was with my family. I didn't want power. I didn't even want to be a legend. I just wanted to live.
I watched Adam Smasher kill Saul horrifically, heard Panam scream in horror...and I zeroed that MFer. XD
Protip: even on Hard Diff, if you have the right perks and implants, you can be virtually unkillable. Only died once. Not sure if that's impressive, but it felt impressive. XD
My V wasn't sophisticated, but he was tough as nails and determined. I wasn't about to let everyone's sacrifice be in vain. Not Saul's. Not Jackie's. Not Goro's. Not Johnny's.
I informed Smasher of Johnny's resurrection just before blowing his brains out with Johnny's own signature gun. Even though Johnny was subdued by the bluepill, it felt like my last gift to him...even as I was moments from death.
Then the moment of truth...Mikoshi. I asked Panam for parting advice. She said "Just be yourself." Normally I'd roll my eyes at that advice but, something about it felt prophetic.
The final choice. Alt had used Soulkiller on me, in order to save me, but now it seemed I wasn't going to get my happy ending. I could go with her beyond the Blackwall, and finally let Johnny have my body - or I could return, but only have about six months, since the Relic had just caused too much damage.
It wasn't that hard of a choice. Leave everything and everyone I had grown to love behind for some bizarre virtual afterlife? Or let Johnny finally rest, and let V return to the world, Panam and the Aldecaldos? I chose life. As Johnny laid me down in the 'well', gently, he said "Goodbye V." And it felt like two friends parting ways. It felt like he'd made a change, and I helped him get there.
And boy was I rewarded. Even though I didn't have long, I had a chance to start again, and maybe even find another way to live. I had Panam, I had the Caldos, and I could finally leave Night City in the dust. "I have everything I need", V said.
This game absolutely SLAPS with hard choices. Over and over and over, you're reminded about how unfair the world is. But if you keep your head on, and ignore the power plays, stay true to your friends, and don't take no shit - you can get out alive. And not just you. The ones you love can too.
Of course, many of you already know all of this. So why did I bother posting?
All my life I've felt like maybe I've been too nice, or too careful, or too unwilling to take life by the balls. But one thing I've always been good at is helping people in need when I can, and always being available to my friends. But for some reason I always looked down on myself for it. I never felt like I was worth anything. I never felt like I was making a difference in the world. There were so many hard choices, and I felt like I never made the right ones. And that I'd just die one day, and be forgotten. Never having made my mark. Just like so many in Night City...
Some days I'd think "Maybe it'd just be better if I was never born." Because I was such a fuckup. A loser. A nobody.
But the person who helps people, who's there for others even when its inconvenient? That's the kind of person who can make a REAL difference. Fuck money. Fuck politics. Fuck fame. None of its worth a damn if you aren't doing right by others.
And that really came through in the end credits. I'm not ashamed to say I was in tears as all these people from my playthrough reminded me how much I meant to them. How much they cared, and that I mattered. All these people had happy endings because of me. I never let them down, not even when the grim reaper himself was breathing down my neck.
It was like all my IRL friends and family were speaking to me in those moments. And finally, FINALLY, I could see myself as they saw me: a man who cared and was trying to be there for them. A man that made a difference in their lives.
Yeah I didn't save the world, per se. But, really, that's how we save the world for real, lame as it may sound. The sheer contrast between the ending I had earned by just trying to do right by all the people in V's life, and that horrific ending I posted earlier was...stark. If you give up, then everyone suffers, not just you.
This game saw me, and reminded me who I was. It rewarded me for it, and I'll never forget it. For all its flaws, all its quirks and failings, I adored this game and all the effort that went into it. It's clear CDPR were trying to say something with this work of art, and boy was the message received on my end.
I can safely say I'm less likely to despair now because of it. I feel more alive because of it. I feel more prepared for the real world because of it. And I wanted to share my experience, if only to remind one person that:
We can all make a difference. Live for others, not yourself. It pays off. Even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. It's the only legacy worth leaving in this fallen world.

Hello, i am 22 years old. i know the thread says it cant diagnose but im just looking for advice. i went to the er about 7 months ago with what i thought were symptoms of dvt. pain in my groin and calf, heart palpitations and chest pain, on and off. they basically laughed at me saying "dr. google told you u have a blood clot huh", took my blood, and scanned my chest xray, said it looked fine. then sent me home saying i have anxiety with a 3500$ bill.
now 7 months later, ive had worsening pain, and its daily now. my groin down to my knee will throb and sometimes sharp pain. sometimes my toes look blue/purple ish, but it becomes better after a shower. chest pain and fast heart rate, sometimes it feels like an electric bolt in my heart, other times its a sort of dull aching in my chest that will last minutes or hours. most nights i struggle to fall asleep as my chest is hurting and sometimes im woken up by intense heart pain. my lower left stomach oftentimes has a dull pain and ive also been having small amounts of blood and dark stool about once a month but most days it looks normal. and some days my stomach will bloat up massively like im pregnant but only on the left side for a couple hours. i am so tired all the time, having to take naps about every 4 or 5 hours. sometimes ill go a full day without much pain, other days its constant.
im just wondering if this sounds like a clot or pe to you guys, i cant afford to go to hospital if they are going to laugh at me, and not even do an ultrasound on my leg or anything. i was a heavy nicotine vaper for about 5 years, but have recently attempted to quit, (currently hit it about 3 times a day to get me through). everytime i try to quit, after about 2 days fully sober, my leg starts hurting worse so then i hit it again cuz i get scared. ive seen some studies online that nicotine may suppress symptoms of health issues and even may hold clots in place due to constriction which then can increase risk of the clot moving when u quit, so im wondering if each time in a couple days clean my symptoms are finally showing more or if it really is just anxiety.
the thing is, im not often anxious, and when i am most anxious, such as when i was at the hospital, i didnt feel the symptoms. they seem to be worst when i am just sitting at home watching or working on pc, or out with my gf doing simple things like grocery shop. again, i know you cant diagnose me, and i plan on making a dr appointment after the weekend passes. im just wondering your imput, and also what things i should tell the doctor to make sure they do the proper tests this time around. thank you

I need advice, because this decision is really hard.
Backup info: I didn’t graduate to get a degree when I got pregnant at 19. It’s been 7 years now, and finally I’m graduating next year and also get a place straight after graduation from university where I wanted to go. I’ve been focused on studying and my son, and I planned on being mom to only 1 child. Want to get good incomes so that I don’t have to struggle.
Now: I got an unexpected pregnancy. And the worst part is that I heard yesterday that doctor had calculated my pregnancy wrong based on measurements, and I’m longer than I was told. I have to make a decision before next week. I’m really scared.
Do you find anything positive about this pregnancy? This means I can’t continue studying, I will continue being a broke mom and I don’t even know how I could handle 2. I wanna hear your opinions.

Some background: He's (21M) my (21F) coworker. We've been working together since June of last year but didn't really start talking to each other until September. We were hitting it off during the fall but didn't get the chance to work together as much during the spring due to scheduling changes. I definitely liked him first. I'm honestly not sure what I did to get him to like me back; I'm not particularly good at flirting at all. I guess I just annoyed him enough that I eventually started to grow on him. He's always asking me how I'm doing and how school's going. He goes out of his way to start a conversation with me. We have our little inside jokes; he's always teasing me about how aggressive I am. I've caught him looking at me several times.
Anyway, now that the school year is over, he's going to be doing an internship in another state for the next three months. I, on the other hand, am working on finding a new job so that I can move out. Suffice it to say, I'll probably be gone by the time he comes back to work in the fall. So, I decided to message him via our work communication app and ask for his contact information. I would have asked him in person, but our workplace only releases the schedule week-by-week, and it's not always consistent each week, so I didn't know that our last shift together (on May 5) would be our last 😔. This is a part-time job comprised mostly of high school and college students, so it's not like dating a coworker would risk my career or anything, and like I said, I'm planning on quitting anyway. What I said was this: "Hey, do you have Instagram or Snapchat or a phone number or something? Since I probably won't be working here by the time you come back in the fall. Idk just in case we never see each other again 😅".
I'm so scared. I was literally trembling as I sent the message. That was about six and a half hours ago; it's nearly 4 am now, so he's definitely not responding until morning. Was I too forward? Guys like it when girls make the first move, don't they? Did I make the right decision? I mean the worst he can say is no, right? Or, I guess, leave me on read, in this case. I'm worried I might be bothering him during finals week, although I think nearly everyone's finals are over at this point. I know he's a super busy guy; if he doesn't get back to me right away, I understand. I just couldn't hold back any longer; I was worried he'd stop looking at our work app over the summer and I'd lose my chance forever.
I'm also worried that he thinks I lost interest in him. I feel like I was bolder when talking to him during the fall, but these past few months I've been kind of shy around him since we hardly see each other anymore. Sometimes my mind just goes blank around him. I'm able to socialize with my other coworkers really easily because I'm not attracted to any of them, but when it's just us one-on-one my brain is just like "Oh my god, cute guy!" and turns to mush and I forget how to speak. Most of the time he's the one initiating the conversations and I feel bad. But I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking things.
Lastly, I'm worried he might think less of me now that I've dropped out of college. I told him during our last shift together that I had dropped out about a month ago, and the way he reacted seemed a bit judgmental. I don't think he meant to be judgmental, though; I think he just had no idea what to say. Or maybe I'm just hypersensitive to criticism, I don't know. I didn't want to go into the personal reasons (mental health and family stuff) behind why I decided to drop out (although I think he can kind of tell something's up), so I'm worried he just thinks I'm lazy and a quitter. It doesn't help that I tend to goof off and socialize a lot during work; not to the point where I'm not doing my job, but enough that it's clear I'm definitely not the hardest worker there. He, on the other hand, is super conscientious about his work; he has a great work ethic, which I admire. I think we just view work in different ways. I'm never going to slack off so much that I'm hurting my coworkers, but I'm also not going to put in maximum effort for a corporation that doesn't even pay me a living wage. I'm just worried that he sees the way I act at work and thinks of me as this ditzy dumbass when I'm so much more than that.
I've never actually been in a relationship, but I have had quite a few crushes, and I can say without a doubt he's the biggest crush I've ever had. I know everyone views their crush through rose-colored glasses, and while I know he's not perfect, this man is seriously a walking green flag. He's so smart, handsome, and funny. He's the sweetest guy; I don't think he has a mean bone in his body. He's always trying to cheer me up whenever I'm down. He's effortlessly kind to everyone and goes out of his way to help people. Did I mention we work at a movie theater? Well, during the worst shift of my life, two weeks after Barbenheimer (fun for audiences, but absolute madness for movie theater employees), I was stuck working the concessions stand completely alone on a Saturday night (usually we would have three to four employees on such a busy night). It was chaos; literally a nonstop line for at least an hour and a half, with absolutely no help from my managers (until I had a mini mental breakdown later that night, but I digress). Anyway, my crush was literally the only one who helped me prior to my mini mental breakdown. He was working as an usher that night (one of the people who cleans the theaters after each movie) and stayed ten minutes past the end of his shift to help me make popcorn and restock the concessions stand. He didn't have to do that. Our managers worked us like dogs that summer; most people would have been out of there the moment their shift ended. But not him. This was before we had even started talking, definitely before he started reciprocating feelings. There was no ulterior motive here. He just saw a coworker struggling and decided to go out of his way to help, with no benefit to himself. Because that's just the type of person he is. And that might seem like a small thing to you guys, but I feel like genuine kindness is so rare these days. I feel it's such a dog-eat-dog world out there; seems like we're all becoming more and more individualistic, and that everyone is only looking out for themselves. I don't know, I just hear horror stories about shitty guys all the time, and he just seems different.
I'm just terrified of the response (or lack thereof) I'm going to wake up to in the morning. Because even if he does give me his number, what then? There's been this unspoken chemistry and connection between us for months now. One of us has to confess our feelings, right? Will it be me? Will it be him? Will either of us have the guts to do it? It's our last chance. It's now or never. And I feel like maybe I'm not in the best place in my life for a relationship... but are any of us ever truly ready for one? I couldn't help falling for him when I did. I just feel like if I don't take that risk and confess my feelings to him now, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. And even if he rejects me, or we try dating and it doesn't work out, at least I can say I tried. The pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret, right?
I just need some reassurance and support. Someone tell me I made the right decision. And wish me luck 😅