I initially talked about this trip report on another subreddit, but I have gained new insights after churning on my experiences and reading about other experiences, and I am slowly consolidating my knowledge on this topic. I have discovered that many people have had similar experiences to mine with the same motifs, details etc. despite me never coming across these stories and reports beforehand.
The DMT just serves up the experience on a platter, and then kicks you out. It's up to you to figure out what went on while also battling with trip amnesia. I didn't even know the entity I saw was a robed mantis until months after (more on this later...)
My DMs are open to anyone wanting to discuss any of this, I have many ideas and theories which I only slightly covered here about the DMT space and the entities I have experienced too. I think I have almost figured out the jester. I'm slowly homing in on the Robed mantises too. My hopes with posting this story on this subreddit is to gleam new insight and to have more discussion about all of this. If you have anything to say, please comment.

My retold story

It was sometime in October last year. I was experimenting with DMT, trying to discover the truth about reality because of a strong inkling I've had from when I was a child that some high strangeness is going on in this reality, before I was ever familiar with such concepts...
It was nighttime and my bedroom was lit by my small lamp on my bedside. I consumed 2 grams of Syrian Rue seeds orally to get some MAOI in my system (MAOI slows down the metabolism of DMT, so it remains in your system longer). I waited around an hour, before vaporizing 25mg of yellowish DMT. I laid down and slipped on my eye-mask as the carrier wave ringing set in, the sensation of dissolving reality crept in, and the coursing energy rattling the atoms of my body began...
THE JESTERS
I found myself in a grand palace which had a black and white checkerboard pattern, and there were jester faces in the walls pursuing me which were ahead of me, while my soul travelled linearly down the palace...
Now, the jester is an entity that for some reason I have experienced every single time I have taken DMT. It is always in these black and white checker pattern textured settings. I've seen it in square tunnels, toroidal caves, and now this big palace. It's some sort of disembodied face and it has these big bulging eyes with thick black eyeliner, where the pupil is a black dot, and the white sclera part is big. It has a big mouth which switches from frowning to smiling wide in a few seconds, and some sort of tongue it sticks out at you. It has eyebrows too. It has a very mocking and sinister yet also at times childish vibe, and it seems to try and attempt to scare you, but I've never been particularly phased by it. I don't think it's ever clearly communicated to me telepathically. It just seems to stare at you and give you all its attention.
So, I'm in this palace, and these jester faces are in the walls following me. They're sticking their tongues out at me and I do the same back at them. Nothing particularly interesting happens, and the trip ends in around 14 minutes thanks to the MAOI extending it a bit. I found myself unimpressed, having consumed Syrian rue and taking precious DMT and not really getting much out of it this trip. I spend the next 10 minutes debating if I should go deeper, and I decide to do so. I also decide to experiment with music, and I play 'Shpongle - Divine Moments of Truth(DMT)' wanting to see if music influences anything. I load up 30mg, vape it, lay back and slip on the eye mask again.
Immediately I'm back in the checkered palace. The jesters are there too where they had just been. All my trips have involved this jester, and it doesn't seem particularly interesting. I'm completely disinterested in it and sort of ignore it, and I say to myself "What a f*king circus", commenting on the palace, as it always seems like these clowns/jesters are in these befitting circuses, and I was completely disenfranchised with them at this point. I was completely sick of them and essentially turned my attention away from them. Then suddenly, something started to happen...
(I later read about people doing something like this, where they divert their attention from the jester and ignore them, and seemingly try to "look ahead" of them. This supposedly lets you get past them especially as one of their purposes is allegedly to stop you from going further. Though in my case, I think the larger DMT dose was taking time to kick in [The jesters are allegedly sub-breakthrough entities and disappear at the higher doses]. These Jester environments are possibly the waiting room.)
The jesters and the checkerboard pattern vanished, and the trip suddenly started transforming with color and geometry. If you've ever seen those videos of physical film tape bubbling and dissolving, this is sort of what I experienced; the checkerboard palace and jesters disintegrated in front of me. I was quite surprised, as I had never actually experienced much other than the jester and the black and white pattern up until this point, and I thought I was doomed to have my DMT experiences forever intertwined with them.
This kaleidoscopic, beautifully geometrical circle / mandala of color, primarily pinkish and purplish with a tinge of green, started manifesting in front of me (Which I now believe is likely the chrysanthemum people see). It grew larger and larger as my 'soul' moved towards it. Suddenly, this massive keyhole shaped portal/door materializes in the middle of it, and behind it there were more doors. Eventually they all opened, and this humanoid entity walked through them...
"Is that her?" I asked myself. I had previously seen a pink and very feminine curvy figure on a spinning pedestal for a brief moment in a jester cave before and she seemed to be idolized/revered by them. I have never interacted with her, only seen her for a glimpse moment. But this was not her.
THE MANTIS & COUNCIL OF ENTITIES
Instead, this humanoid entity had a green head which seemed like an inverted triangle. It was quite unattractive and honestly ugly, looking like some sort of insect. But it wasn't vomit-inducing or grotesque. I initially explained it to others as having a "bull shaped head", as I didn't get to look at it for very long. Instead, I primarily had my focus on what it was wearing. It donned this wizard looking purple/pinkish/maroon robe or cloak, and the seams had some golden alien inscriptions/letters on them (In retrospect, this might have been the golden medallion people see them wearing, but I have seen someone else describe these gold inscriptions before similar to the way I have). Its clothes are scintillating with its purple/pink color palette in flux, and its head I would like to say almost had a sheen to it? I felt that it was an old entity wielding great power and high status. It moves closer and closer towards me, while I too am gravitating towards it, before suddenly everything vanishes; it felt like this entity had intercepted me. I'm teleported somewhere...
Everything is very dark, and I don't recall any visuals exactly. I feel like a purer form of consciousness/awareness at this point occupying a singular point in space, and my ego is objectified (as in I'm still aware of my human identity, but I'm not attached to it). It also feels as if I'm at the end of time, the conclusion of the universe. The fireworks were set off, and now there's nothing. Time had actually stopped working the way it does in consensus reality anyways while I was still in the presence of the jesters.
(An interesting experiment anyone who takes DMT should try: Take a sufficient dose where you can still keep your eyes open but you're at the verge of going deeper, and look at something like a timer on your phone, and witness your mind be stupefied as it attempts to decipher the meaning of the numbers you're looking at. You literally forget the concept of time.)
I feel the presence of a council of entities surrounding me, and I am in the middle of them all. They sort of feel subordinate to me, and short of stature. (I'm frustrated I don't really remember what I saw during this part of the trip. They could have been the blue imps people see, or mantis beings, or elves, etc. I just know that they felt very familiar) Suddenly, a monsoon of information is "downloaded" into my brain, and everything is completely overwhelming.
I don't recall much but the kernel of what they were basically 'saying' telepathically is that "You are the eternal ultimate awareness which has always existed, and everything exists as a form of entertainment and/or experiences for you, as there is nothing else to do. You have been doing this for all of eternity." What is strange is that I already sort of deduced this was the purpose of reality long before I tried DMT, so they may have just been feeding back to me the assumptions I already had about reality. This is a common motif I've read about, where the entities just use what you know against you. The suspected motive for this? I'll explain later.
I remember the saying "Once you get the message, hang up the phone" being pushed to the forefront of my mind during this whole thing, and me responding "No, I'm coming back later to check again". That sums up the essence of ultimate consciousness I guess, it keeps coming back for more experience rather than resting in peace. That is the implication IF what they were telling me was true, I guess.
I then react by saying "Are you serious‽ Is that all this is‽ " because I always wanted to be wrong about what I thought about reality, but instead this council was basically reaffirming my beliefs. They basically replied "Well, what else were you expecting?" and I felt one of the entities in the council get sad I'm assuming due to my reaction, I sort of 'reached out' to them and quickly apologized "No! I'm sorry, don't be sad." That's the last thing I remember while in the presence of that council.
The apex of the trip is over. They disappear and it feels like I'm thrown down the DMT realms, sort of floating in a black void behind my closed eyelids which I'm becoming aware of (I didn't have a body nor eyelids when I was in those places). I'm quite comfortable there, it feels like a womb. My lucidity of our consensus reality increases more and more. The music starts to reappear, I don't ever recall hearing it while I was in the trip.
(Unrelated but interesting side note. I remember I was in this comedown state for a while and had become aware of my body but chose to keep my eyes closed. I did this little experiment where I scrunched my eyes really tight, and when I did this my teeth started chattering and I saw this flat 2D magic-eye texture in front of me that was dark green and had a sort of diagonal chain-link pattern to it. The Qualia Research Institute has done research on DMT, they identified 6 levels to the experience: Threshold, Chrysanthemum, Magic Eye, Waiting Room, Breakthrough, and Amnesia. I believe I was in this sort of Magic Eye level at this point on the comedown. I also did not experience DMT in that specific order of levels, for me the chrysanthemum is after the waiting room. Another thing to note is that this institute identified DMT geometry as being hyperbolic which is something that can exacerbate the phenomenon of not remembering trips properly, as the brain struggles to make memories of it)
I found myself agitated and frustrated. I ripped off my eye mask and got out of my bed. I started swearing at everything in my room lol, and I also said unusual things which I reflect on to this day. For the record, the trip lasted about 17 minutes.
"Do whatever the f*k you want" As in if you wanna climb mount Everest, go do that, if you wanna be a musician, go do that. This trip made me feel like anything is possible, and a person is limitless.
"God exists, I created him" I was speaking from the perspective/ in the context of being the ultimate awareness, implying that the ultimate consciousness invented God, which is interesting. A while after the trip I had come across a concept of the distinction between God and the Godhead from Meister Eckhart which is probably what I was for some reason referring to in this moment, but I never delved much into the topic, so I am not sure.
"Why the f*k are you scared of the dark lol" I have a fear of the dark from when I was a child which stems from being exposed to those screamer flash games where the woman from the Exorcist movie flashes on the screen etc. which has mentally scarred me to this day as an adult lmao. but post-trip me had a revelation that this was silly, though it's still hard to get over my fear of the dark that occasionally creeps in.
I wrote up an initial trip report after I had calmed down from my annoyance, and I noted down that "All the hate you show onto others is reflected onto yourself, likewise the same with love." Due to feeling this sense of interconnectedness with everyone I had during that trip afterglow.
Here is the paragraph at the end of my first reddit trip report I posted. It will tie into the next section of this post.

"So now to the present moment, I had some strange synchronicities and events recently which lead me to discover that humanoid entity I saw was in fact a mantis entity, as it weirdly matches other people's typical descriptions. Green head, purple robe, feeling a presence of a council of entities etc. I had never researched it nor really heard of the mantis aliens before this trip, so it is interesting that I saw it. I was always referring to it as the humanoid entity with a cow shaped head, lol. I don't know who that mantis being was, it was only in front of me for a few seconds before it whisked me away to the council, and it never telepathically spoke to me. Me learning about the mantis beings prompted me to share this experience, as I would like to hear what others have to say. Thanks." 

SUSPECTED MOTIVES
Now I didn't really want to add these to this post to prevent it from getting too long winded, but I may as well. All I really wanted was to repost this trip on this subreddit.
Stick with me here. Think about the theme of the DMT experience. It's about humor, 'the cosmic joke', absurdity, amusement, circuses, and so on. What is the prime entity people see on DMT? The Jestetrickstejokeclown and the various names it has, and what better character to represent DMT. A mischievous, cunning, almost sinister entity that showers you in its attention as it tries almost to overwhelm you, all the while mocking you. It seemingly does this so as to grab your attention and make you become preoccupied with it. For some people, it tosses them around to completely discombobulate them, or even puts people in a sort of 'Jack-In-the-Box'. When I saw that Mantis at the kaleidoscope, it was as if it had a mission to intercept me to prevent me from going out of bounds on my own. Where does it take me? To a place where my beliefs are regurgitated and fed back to me. "Well, what else did you expect?" one of the entities told me when I was there. Why would an entity say that if not to try and dissuade me from digging deeper? They didn't seem to want me to come back, just fed me my assumptions to try and satiate me and sent me on my merry way.
The Mantis never communicated to me, introduced itself, etc. It just manifested itself into existence and intercepted me at the kaleidoscope. I literally didn't even learn it was a mantis until months later. I have seen them commonly being referred to as 'Overseers'. Like administrators. They don't like to reveal themselves and rather remain in the shadows, but I forced their hand by taking a large DMT dose and getting close to the other side. They never wanted me going there. But they can't stop me from learning about them.
To these entities on the other side of the veil, it's all about humor. It seems like it's what they value the most. You have absolutely no reason to trust them. They'll lie to you to get their laugh all the while herding you back into place to stop you from seeing what's really on the other side. They don't want us going too deep into the DMT space. What are they stopping us from seeing?
It's taken some retrospection and deduction to get to this point, but it's time to ignore the bs and cognitive dissonance people have. Something is going on here.
All I really know is that THIS, this experience, is happening right now, you are reading this right now, all of this is possible because all of this is currently happening. All the suffering, pain, discomfort, etc. This is reality. I just want to make sure I don't come back to this, not until I have the full picture. I pity my higher self if such a thing exists, if it was so bored out of its mind it actually voluntarily decided to live human lives on Earth.
APPENDIX:
A photo of the sort of texture you see in the Jester's environments. Though for me I feel the texture is slightly more regular, like a checkerboard. But this photo contains the vibe you get in these Jester places. Credit to u/theshponglr
https://preview.redd.it/4huajp78pz2d1.png?width=2000&format=png&auto=webp&s=b75673f90965f8db659810e821ce6728f1c2cd5b
Keywords for the search function: Mantid, mantis, green, portal, council, purple, robes, robed, cape, capes, cloak, cloaked, golden, gold, inscription, letters, portal, clown, jester, checkers, checker board, checkered, black white, mocking, insectoid, insect Edit: Minor improvements

Hello I'm currently an industrial and systems engineer student and planning to take a minor in Al. I decided to take a minor in Al because I realized that I like coding more and that I should have chosen computer science rather than lE but for now it is too late to change my major. My inquiry is would you advise me to take another bachelor's degree in CS or should I apply for a master's in CS? What is better for my career?
These are the courses that are required in lE at my university: operations research 1 and 2 /intro to economics / fundamentals of accounting/modern methods of manufacturing/ engineering economic analysis/ quality control/production and operations management/simulation analysis/data and information engineering/lean manufacturing/human factors and safety engineering /stochastic processes/fundamentals of business analysis/ supply chain and logistics/facilities planning and warehousing.
These are the courses required for me to take to complete a minor in Al: OOP/data structures and algorithms/ intro to Al/ intro to machine learning/ [one of these courses: data analytics/ algorithmic robotics/ natural language processing/ bioinformatics and geometric data science/ image processing and analysis] / artificial intelligence project (heard that it is pretty concentrated and heavy).
Note: there are other general courses that all majors should take: calc 1, 2,3/ physics 1, 2/ intro to probability and statistics / linear algebra and differential Equations/ intro to Python or intro to Matlab

First
Lori watched the shuttle gently grasp their life pod with some sort of tractoring tech. Her mind racing with a million thoughts as she tried, and failed, to keep her nerves under control. Who where these aliens that called themselves Humans. The Great Admiral had ordered everyone before exiting warp NOT to resist these humans as they had acknowledged the galactic standard call for help they had broadcast when the warp bubble they had been traveling in started shrinking exponentially as their ships where mauled by the Varille battleship.
That ship had methodically destroyed one ship after another. It's Captain staying just outside range of the capital grade lasers the Orion cruisers mounted and used it's long range missiles to first wound, then utterly destroy five Orion cruisers and the only destroyer that managed to survive getting into FTL. They had been trying for several cycles to find an exit so they could leave the FTL lanes without being outright destroyed by the Varille. Then they had gotten hit on the Regents Pride, the missile somehow managed to tear a hole from port to starboard but missed everything vital. However many civilians were lost during the loss of atmosphere and the decompression of those areas.
The blue and white shuttle steadily towed them into a much larger ship called the Titan 7. The Humans had built a giant brick with what appeared to be a hundred cargo bays! She thought seeing the massive behemoth swallow other shuttles towing life pods similar to her group. Most of the refugees on her pod where juveniles, a few expecting mothers too far along to be in fighting condition, and a wounded V.I.P. she had helped a medical officer carry the stretcher onto the pod with the badly bandaged Orion woman. He had hurried off shortly after that being summoned to assist wounded a deck below the life pods.
They went through some sort of shield and she could see other pods opening and the tall Human guards in black and grey combat armor escorting other Orion's into large clusters near interior blast doors. She found herself wondering again why these humans had decided to help them. She knew they had passed at least seven other warp gates and broadcast the same distress signal.
No one had allowed them entry. So many of the survivors had died on those ships the Varille battleship had destroyed. So many more had died on her home world of Farcee trying to escape the Varille fleet bombardment and the Brood's landing cluster's. The Varille, she knew, liked taking slaves for their mining/industrial planets. But the Brood only kept non insectoid sentient creatures around to lay their eggs in. She shuddered involuntarily as the thought wormed it's way into her thoughts.
The pod jostled as the tractor fully sat it down and released it. A light above the pods door turned a solid yellow indicating breathable air and with a "PWOOOOSHHH" the door unsealed and swung outwards. The lights inside where suddenly dim as the door revealed a towering human in a black and grey combat suit. Lori squinted as a tall, imposing human stepped into view, some sort of pulse rifle slung over it's shoulder and two small lights on the side of its helmet.
"Welcome to Sol. You have been granted temporary asylum. Please follow Sergeant Havora to your debrief. Any hostility will be dealt with swiftly and will immediately render your asylum void." The voice sounded male through it's helmets audio but with this being first contact the only thing she could think of was how big this human was! It towered over the tallest Orion adult by at least five hands. Orion's started milling about in the pod as best they could and soon where being escorted to an area denoted for their use as a gathering spot and two more pods groups soon joined them.
Lori found herself studying these humans. They had two arms and legs, an apparent head and torso. One group of people seemed to stand out, they were dressed in white with a red "+" insignia on their left shoulder. A small round machine with the same insignia hoovered along behind them. Anyone that was found as being wounded, they pulled from the groups, some that were wounded in the final battle with the Varille battle ship as they entered the Sol FTL gate. She still couldn't get a good look at their faces.
A throat was cleared near the interior blast doors as Lori spotted the small form of a humanoid reptilian only six hand's tall! It cleared it's throat and with a flick of it's small tail another humanoid biped in a black and grey combat suit stepped forward and with a very loud "clang" as they stomped a heavy metal boot and shouted, "ATTENTIONNN!"
Almost instantly she and the other Orion's went silent, their attention riveted to the small cluster of aliens arrayed in front of them. She could see various different species represented and found herself idly wondering if her first impression of humanity had actually been from a human.
"Thank you Lieutenant Commander," said the small reptilian alien in a slightly nasal voice,"I am Sargent Crom. We have been ordered to get you folks settled in for transport to more accommodating conditions." Sgt. Crom paused for a moment making sure everyone was understanding the translation before continuing. "Your wounded will be taken care of and treated as our own until they recover. Mrs Vali," Sgt Crom waved a small hand at the wounded V.I.P. she was still near and a very tall obviously female alien that had almost sparkling green skin stepped forward, her limbs long and thin, in a white body suit that had a red "+" emblazoned on the left shoulder. Several others dressed similarly to her cautiously followed her as she pulled out some sort of small flat device and ran it over the V.I.P. before motioning to two of the smaller aliens and ordering them to do something in a voice and language that sounded like tinkling bells to Lori's sensitive ears.
As Miss Vali and her team of healers worked through the crowd of Orion's, Sargent Crom continued. "Now, let's continue by saying WELCOME to the United Sol Alliance territories. As you can tell, the U.S. Alliance has several member species and government's. I am a Jabilix. Miss Vali is an Elladrin, and the lieutenant commander is Human." Lori's eyes immediately snapped back to the man in black and grey combat armor as he stood at attention slightly behind and to the left of Sargent Crom.
"We are not all of the U.S. Alliance member species," she paused, "I am sure you will eventually meet us all. Now if you would form two lines here, and here." As Sargent Crom spoke a strip of light lit up on one side of the blast doors, and as she finished another set on the other side lit up. "We will see you to a bunk, something to eat, and then your debriefing. Don't worry, we just want to know what is going on. There is no right or wrong answers. We already have most of the ships logs so this is mostly just to follow protocol." Sargent Crom waited for a few moments before adding, "Move people! We have many more pods to retrieve and space is limited."
With that Lori found herself joining the rest of the people from her pod in forming into the desired lines and soon found they where moving farther into the ship and down several decks. The humans ship was very plain with no artistic flair. Everything was solely for a purpose, and built to last. An Orion ships corridors may have been arrayed in a similar layout, they would have had beautiful curves and even aesthetically pleasing geometric patterns anywhere NOT needed for a system or station. Most doors they passed had numbers or weird letters and sometimes both.
They were eventually led to what Sargent Crom called a "Mess Hall" and shown a rather large room with the designation 104-B right next to the mess hall that was arrayed with bunks and two lockers at the end of each set of beds. Their group was informed on meal time's, shown how to access the necessities and then went through the debriefing. All in all Lori found the ordeal to be over within a few hours.
Everyone had been processed and she had even received a fancy bracelet and shown how to access it's basic functions. It was a small personal data chit! This would have cost her nearly two year's of pay back on Farcee. The Sol Alliance had already integrated the Orion language and alphabet into their system so she could see many of the other Orion's sitting about the mess hall reading whatever had caught their attention on the Sol "Internet". She had picked a table away from everyone, her thoughts on the current situation she found herself in warring with the sorrowful memories of the last few cycles. She picked at the plate of something she couldn't even start to identify but the woman with the white cap had called it "goulash", remembering when she had been picked to get on one of the three ships. Her mother, father, and older siblings had not been picked.
She had just had her name day and been granted permission to participate in the great matching ceremony that essentially would allow her to start her family and pick a suitable mate. She was at the temple of Hal'Ick having just donated the required amount of fauxauall and tuardanium which had taken a year to procure and received her license when it was reported the first Swarm ships had dropped off freighter's from the Sagoth Brood system and landed on Farcee's southern continent.
A low growl escaped as she remembered the news reports and the images of the butchered Orion's. Initially the authorities had thought the Brood ships were unsuspecting host's, having unwittingly carried them into the Orion system. They mostly thought this because the freighter's didn't run after the Swarm ships detached from their hulls and dropped into the atmosphere.
No they had instead waited for most of the Farcee home fleet to be busy trying to intercept a dozen large asteroids that had suddenly been detected moving from the outer system directly into Farcee's orbital path. Once the main force was occupied with the asteroids the freighter's, which were the old long haul sublight hulls with modified hyper drives allowing them to use the Gates had suddenly blown out sections of their own hulls revealing some sort of new plasma cannons that where already spooled up and aimed at the unsuspecting orbital defense platforms and to everyone's horror the two platforms that defended the Farcee FTL Gate. The view of the combined Varille, Sagoth Brood, and the Swarm fleets exiting out of the gate and descending on the Farcee home fleet and their brave sacrifice to allow as many civilians to escape would forever be burned into her memory. As well as the image of Farcee in ruins as the three ships ladden with skeleton crews and as many civilians of "viable" reproductive age as the Regent could get into the new experimental ships. (They had been sitting behind the second moon Boida along with the destroyer Kaighan, and 5 other cruisers which were shredded trying to defend them in side the FTL lains, so they were the only military ships able to respond to the Regents evacuation call along with many brave merchant ships which probably didn't make it.) She had taken a few bites and found herself savoring the "goulash", it was quite good!
"Mind if I join you?" Came a deep baritone voice.
She looked up and to her surprise, standing in front of her on the other side of the table was a bipedal humanoid with two small patches of fur on it's definitely primate like face. He wore a black and grey military fatigues with a black hexagonal patch prominently displaying three stripes and a delta insignia on his grey collar. After an uncomfortable moment of her staring into his bright blue eyes she replied, "Yes......yes of course." She gestured to the bench on the other side of the table. How had she understood him?!
"Thanks." He sat down and extended a hand over his food. "Names Tim, Tim Reynolds"
She had seen this greeting on her data chit and tentatively took his hand to "shake" it up and down slightly in the alien's weird greeting gesture. Why couldn't they just flick their ears like her people? "Lori." was all she replied. She hadn't chosen a mate yet so in her culture she couldn't take a second name.
He sat down and began to eat. She had wondered how the utensils wrapped in some sort of soft fiber pressed into a sheet where used. She had known basically what the dull knife was, (though why it was dull still escaped her!) She had figured the pronged instrument was for stabbing but without context and with a dull knife, she had resorted to what every other Orion had opted to do. What was natural, they had used their finger's. But seeing Tim use them she quickly adapted and before long had the basics down on holding them and their use.
"So where are you from?" He asked, before taking a bite of his food.
Her mind immediately went to the last image of her home planet she had seen through the viewport. She knew she had only been let on a ship because she had been lucky. She had been grabbed, scanned, and crammed into one of the ships. "Farcee." She said meekly remembering the craters that had been once beautiful cities suspended above a vibrant purple rainforests on massive supports. She could still see the plasma burning large swaths of it as they obliterated strong points the Orion army had set up to at least slow the bug's ground assault. No warning, no declaration of war. No reason given. One moment the Orion's were long standing trade partners with the Hive Confederacy, the next they are locked in full scale war.
The worst part had been nobody could reach the Vatt system, the next Orion inhabited system and a naval outpost to warn them. And of the dozen courier ships sent out to ask our "allies" for assistance, none was received before they had finally escaped the system through an old very rarely used gate, but had been heading away from Orion space.
The man cleared his throat and in a solemn tone said, "Uhhh, sorry Lori. I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories." He rubbed the back of his neck clearly at a loss as to what to say and she still couldn't understand how she could understand him?!
"How can I understand you?" She asked. "And you can understand me?" He just nodded at the last part as he stuck a small tube through a juice box and slurped a couple times as he appeared to be deep in thought.
"Yep. Whenever you were issued your communicator," he pointed at her's, "did you feel a small prick as you synched it tight?" As she nodded now looking at her communicator he continued. "That was your standard personal nanites." She looked up puzzled by the word.
"Nanites?" She asked. She had never heard of whatever that was. The briefing had said that they had or would received them, but not where or how, or what they where.
Taking the question for what it was Tim began. "They are microscopic robots programmed to automatically repair damaged tissue, fight diseases, and viruses common through out known space. As soon as they entered your bloodstream they began reproducing and will lay dormant there until needed. Since I have my own nanites, we can communicate without much delay. To an outsider, without nanites, you are speaking your native language and I am speaking English. But we hear the words and to a minor extent feel what some psychic races say."
She stared at him for a moment, processing what he had just told her. These people were years ahead of her's in technology! She looked back down at the data chit and said, "Amazing." That was all she could get out as not a heartbeat later a proximity claxon wailed as a mechanical female voice chimed, "WARNING! Proximity Alert. Unidentified hostile ship detected." It repeated itself. All the Orion's in the mess hall were looking around nervously as others rushed out, she assumed to hurry to their duty stations. Tim though didn't budge.
He just casually slurped his juice box and absently typed something a few times on his communicator and he was suddenly looking at a screen depicting the outside of the ship. It wasn't disorienting because there was no "up" or "down" in space. Only where you or your target where in relation to each other.
She could see a sleek black spider like craft on his projected screen. It's engines at full burn as it headed towards what looked like another FTL Gate. This Gate was very busy and Lori could see cargo freighter's lined up in que, a greenish blue planet with pink splotches in the background./
"What the hell is that?" Tim asked no one in particular. She remembered seeing these ships above Farcee, or actually dropping onto it in a sneak attack.
"I think that is a swarm ship! By all the reports from the ground back on my home planet that ship has several queens on board and an entire battalion of Broodlings! " She was still looking at his communicators holographic image, and the planet in the background. "You can't let them reach a planet!" Her voice suddenly rising in a panic. If that ship reaches that planet there wouldn't be any way of stopping the Brood from establishing a colony. And once a single colony was established, they would begin systematically stripping the planet of biomass to rapidly increase their numbers, becoming a plague of the worst kind.
"Oh they aren't going anywhere." He extended his arm to provide her a better angle as a silver winged vehicle zipped by closely followed by three more. Lori could tell the Broodlings ship was much larger than the silver ship's but the United Sol ships were quickly gaining on the much larger enemy ship. Soon one of the silver ship's shot the spider like ship with what looked like a laser. One shot and she could see it's sublight engines splutter and fail. Within a few heartbeats three of the four appeared to "attach" themselves to the larger spider like vessel of the Broodlings. "Those Marines just had their day made. They get to play for a change instead of being stuck on ship." He chuckled as she caught the glint of his canine's as he smiled a definite predatory smile.
"Those are Broodlings and potentially a few of their Varille allies." She gulped. "They tore our defenses apart. They are very dangerous, you should warn them!" She looked back at the communicator. "Even these 'Marines' deserve a chance to live!"
"Calm down miss," Tim said with a sudden grin spreading wider across his face if it was possible, his white teeth flashing. "I can almost guarantee you that the scariest thing in that cluster of ships is the Terran Marines." He started shaking his head. "No, those poor bastards are having more fun than they have had in a few cycles."
The certainty in his voice and his demeanor caused her to relax somewhat. Just how strong was this Sol Alliance she wondered as she watched the communicator and finished her "goulash". She found it quite good compared to the minimal rations she had been eating on the Orion ship. She couldn't help but wonder yet again as to just what kind of people were these humans? Had they found an ally or would the U.S. Alliance end up being where her people's story ended.
Looking across the table at the young human slurping on his juice box she couldn't help but wonder which way this would go.

First
Lori watched the shuttle gently grasp their life pod with some sort of tractoring tech. Her mind racing with a million thoughts as she tried, and failed, to keep her nerves under control. Who where these aliens that called themselves Humans. The Great Admiral had ordered everyone before exiting warp NOT to resist these humans as they had acknowledged the galactic standard call for help they had broadcast when the warp bubble they had been traveling in started shrinking exponentially as their ships where mauled by the Varille battleship.
That ship had methodically destroyed one ship after another. It's Captain staying just outside range of the capital grade lasers the Orion cruisers mounted and used it's long range missiles to first wound, then utterly destroy five Orion cruisers and the only destroyer that managed to survive getting into FTL. They had been trying for several cycles to find an exit so they could leave the FTL lanes without being outright destroyed by the Varille. Then they had gotten hit on the Regents Pride, the missile somehow managed to tear a hole from port to starboard but missed everything vital. However many civilians were lost during the loss of atmosphere and the decompression of those areas.
The blue and white shuttle steadily towed them into a much larger ship called the Titan 7. The Humans had built a giant brick with what appeared to be a hundred cargo bays! She thought seeing the massive behemoth swallow other shuttles towing life pods similar to her group. Most of the refugees on her pod where juveniles, a few expecting mothers too far along to be in fighting condition, and a wounded V.I.P. she had helped a medical officer carry the stretcher onto the pod with the badly bandaged Orion woman. He had hurried off shortly after that being summoned to assist wounded a deck below the life pods.
They went through some sort of shield and she could see other pods opening and the tall Human guards in black and grey combat armor escorting other Orion's into large clusters near interior blast doors. She found herself wondering again why these humans had decided to help them. She knew they had passed at least seven other warp gates and broadcast the same distress signal.
No one had allowed them entry. So many of the survivors had died on those ships the Varille battleship had destroyed. So many more had died on her home world of Farcee trying to escape the Varille fleet bombardment and the Brood's landing cluster's. The Varille, she knew, liked taking slaves for their mining/industrial planets. But the Brood only kept non insectoid sentient creatures around to lay their eggs in. She shuddered involuntarily as the thought wormed it's way into her thoughts.
The pod jostled as the tractor fully sat it down and released it. A light above the pods door turned a solid yellow indicating breathable air and with a "PWOOOOSHHH" the door unsealed and swung outwards. The lights inside where suddenly dim as the door revealed a towering human in a black and grey combat suit. Lori squinted as a tall, imposing human stepped into view, some sort of pulse rifle slung over it's shoulder and two small lights on the side of its helmet.
"Welcome to Sol. You have been granted temporary asylum. Please follow Sergeant Havora to your debrief. Any hostility will be dealt with swiftly and will immediately render your asylum void." The voice sounded male through it's helmets audio but with this being first contact the only thing she could think of was how big this human was! It towered over the tallest Orion adult by at least five hands. Orion's started milling about in the pod as best they could and soon where being escorted to an area denoted for their use as a gathering spot and two more pods groups soon joined them.
Lori found herself studying these humans. They had two arms and legs, an apparent head and torso. One group of people seemed to stand out, they were dressed in white with a red "+" insignia on their left shoulder. A small round machine with the same insignia hoovered along behind them. Anyone that was found as being wounded, they pulled from the groups, some that were wounded in the final battle with the Varille battle ship as they entered the Sol FTL gate. She still couldn't get a good look at their faces.
A throat was cleared near the interior blast doors as Lori spotted the small form of a humanoid reptilian only six hand's tall! It cleared it's throat and with a flick of it's small tail another humanoid biped in a black and grey combat suit stepped forward and with a very loud "clang" as they stomped a heavy metal boot and shouted, "ATTENTIONNN!"
Almost instantly she and the other Orion's went silent, their attention riveted to the small cluster of aliens arrayed in front of them. She could see various different species represented and found herself idly wondering if her first impression of humanity had actually been from a human.
"Thank you Lieutenant Commander," said the small reptilian alien in a slightly nasal voice,"I am Sargent Crom. We have been ordered to get you folks settled in for transport to more accommodating conditions." Sgt. Crom paused for a moment making sure everyone was understanding the translation before continuing. "Your wounded will be taken care of and treated as our own until they recover. Mrs Vali," Sgt Crom waved a small hand at the wounded V.I.P. she was still near and a very tall obviously female alien that had almost sparkling green skin stepped forward, her limbs long and thin, in a white body suit that had a red "+" emblazoned on the left shoulder. Several others dressed similarly to her cautiously followed her as she pulled out some sort of small flat device and ran it over the V.I.P. before motioning to two of the smaller aliens and ordering them to do something in a voice and language that sounded like tinkling bells to Lori's sensitive ears.
As Miss Vali and her team of healers worked through the crowd of Orion's, Sargent Crom continued. "Now, let's continue by saying WELCOME to the United Sol Alliance territories. As you can tell, the U.S. Alliance has several member species and government's. I am a Jabilix. Miss Vali is an Elladrin, and the lieutenant commander is Human." Lori's eyes immediately snapped back to the man in black and grey combat armor as he stood at attention slightly behind and to the left of Sargent Crom.
"We are not all of the U.S. Alliance member species," she paused, "I am sure you will eventually meet us all. Now if you would form two lines here, and here." As Sargent Crom spoke a strip of light lit up on one side of the blast doors, and as she finished another set on the other side lit up. "We will see you to a bunk, something to eat, and then your debriefing. Don't worry, we just want to know what is going on. There is no right or wrong answers. We already have most of the ships logs so this is mostly just to follow protocol." Sargent Crom waited for a few moments before adding, "Move people! We have many more pods to retrieve and space is limited."
With that Lori found herself joining the rest of the people from her pod in forming into the desired lines and soon found they where moving farther into the ship and down several decks. The humans ship was very plain with no artistic flair. Everything was solely for a purpose, and built to last. An Orion ships corridors may have been arrayed in a similar layout, they would have had beautiful curves and even aesthetically pleasing geometric patterns anywhere NOT needed for a system or station. Most doors they passed had numbers or weird letters and sometimes both.
They were eventually led to what Sargent Crom called a "Mess Hall" and shown a rather large room with the designation 104-B right next to the mess hall that was arrayed with bunks and two lockers at the end of each set of beds. Their group was informed on meal time's, shown how to access the necessities and then went through the debriefing. All in all Lori found the ordeal to be over within a few hours.
Everyone had been processed and she had even received a fancy bracelet and shown how to access it's basic functions. It was a small personal data chit! This would have cost her nearly two year's of pay back on Farcee. The Sol Alliance had already integrated the Orion language and alphabet into their system so she could see many of the other Orion's sitting about the mess hall reading whatever had caught their attention on the Sol "Internet". She had picked a table away from everyone, her thoughts on the current situation she found herself in warring with the sorrowful memories of the last few cycles. She picked at the plate of something she couldn't even start to identify but the woman with the white cap had called it "goulash", remembering when she had been picked to get on one of the three ships. Her mother, father, and older siblings had not been picked.
She had just had her name day and been granted permission to participate in the great matching ceremony that essentially would allow her to start her family and pick a suitable mate. She was at the temple of Hal'Ick having just donated the required amount of fauxauall and tuardanium which had taken a year to procure and received her license when it was reported the first Swarm ships had dropped off freighter's from the Sagoth Brood system and landed on Farcee's southern continent.
A low growl escaped as she remembered the news reports and the images of the butchered Orion's. Initially the authorities had thought the Brood ships were unsuspecting host's, having unwittingly carried them into the Orion system. They mostly thought this because the freighter's didn't run after the Swarm ships detached from their hulls and dropped into the atmosphere.
No they had instead waited for most of the Farcee home fleet to be busy trying to intercept a dozen large asteroids that had suddenly been detected moving from the outer system directly into Farcee's orbital path. Once the main force was occupied with the asteroids the freighter's, which were the old long haul sublight hulls with modified hyper drives allowing them to use the Gates had suddenly blown out sections of their own hulls revealing some sort of new plasma cannons that where already spooled up and aimed at the unsuspecting orbital defense platforms and to everyone's horror the two platforms that defended the Farcee FTL Gate. The view of the combined Varille, Sagoth Brood, and the Swarm fleets exiting out of the gate and descending on the Farcee home fleet and their brave sacrifice to allow as many civilians to escape would forever be burned into her memory. As well as the image of Farcee in ruins as the three ships ladden with skeleton crews and as many civilians of "viable" reproductive age as the Regent could get into the new experimental ships. (They had been sitting behind the second moon Boida along with the destroyer Kaighan, and 5 other cruisers which were shredded trying to defend them in side the FTL lains, so they were the only military ships able to respond to the Regents evacuation call along with many brave merchant ships which probably didn't make it.) She had taken a few bites and found herself savoring the "goulash", it was quite good!
"Mind if I join you?" Came a deep baritone voice.
She looked up and to her surprise, standing in front of her on the other side of the table was a bipedal humanoid with two small patches of fur on it's definitely primate like face. He wore a black and grey military fatigues with a black hexagonal patch prominently displaying three stripes and a delta insignia on his grey collar. After an uncomfortable moment of her staring into his bright blue eyes she replied, "Yes......yes of course." She gestured to the bench on the other side of the table. How had she understood him?!
"Thanks." He sat down and extended a hand over his food. "Names Tim, Tim Reynolds"
She had seen this greeting on her data chit and tentatively took his hand to "shake" it up and down slightly in the alien's weird greeting gesture. Why couldn't they just flick their ears like her people? "Lori." was all she replied. She hadn't chosen a mate yet so in her culture she couldn't take a second name.
He sat down and began to eat. She had wondered how the utensils wrapped in some sort of soft fiber pressed into a sheet where used. She had known basically what the dull knife was, (though why it was dull still escaped her!) She had figured the pronged instrument was for stabbing but without context and with a dull knife, she had resorted to what every other Orion had opted to do. What was natural, they had used their finger's. But seeing Tim use them she quickly adapted and before long had the basics down on holding them and their use.
"So where are you from?" He asked, before taking a bite of his food.
Her mind immediately went to the last image of her home planet she had seen through the viewport. She knew she had only been let on a ship because she had been lucky. She had been grabbed, scanned, and crammed into one of the ships. "Farcee." She said meekly remembering the craters that had been once beautiful cities suspended above a vibrant purple rainforests on massive supports. She could still see the plasma burning large swaths of it as they obliterated strong points the Orion army had set up to at least slow the bug's ground assault. No warning, no declaration of war. No reason given. One moment the Orion's were long standing trade partners with the Hive Confederacy, the next they are locked in full scale war.
The worst part had been nobody could reach the Vatt system, the next Orion inhabited system and a naval outpost to warn them. And of the dozen courier ships sent out to ask our "allies" for assistance, none was received before they had finally escaped the system through an old very rarely used gate, but had been heading away from Orion space.
The man cleared his throat and in a solemn tone said, "Uhhh, sorry Lori. I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories." He rubbed the back of his neck clearly at a loss as to what to say and she still couldn't understand how she could understand him?!
"How can I understand you?" She asked. "And you can understand me?" He just nodded at the last part as he stuck a small tube through a juice box and slurped a couple times as he appeared to be deep in thought.
"Yep. Whenever you were issued your communicator," he pointed at her's, "did you feel a small prick as you synched it tight?" As she nodded now looking at her communicator he continued. "That was your standard personal nanites." She looked up puzzled by the word.
"Nanites?" She asked. She had never heard of whatever that was. The briefing had said that they had or would received them, but not where or how, or what they where.
Taking the question for what it was Tim began. "They are microscopic robots programmed to automatically repair damaged tissue, fight diseases, and viruses common through out known space. As soon as they entered your bloodstream they began reproducing and will lay dormant there until needed. Since I have my own nanites, we can communicate without much delay. To an outsider, without nanites, you are speaking your native language and I am speaking English. But we hear the words and to a minor extent feel what some psychic races say."
She stared at him for a moment, processing what he had just told her. These people were years ahead of her's in technology! She looked back down at the data chit and said, "Amazing." That was all she could get out as not a heartbeat later a proximity claxon wailed as a mechanical female voice chimed, "WARNING! Proximity Alert. Unidentified hostile ship detected." It repeated itself. All the Orion's in the mess hall were looking around nervously as others rushed out, she assumed to hurry to their duty stations. Tim though didn't budge.
He just casually slurped his juice box and absently typed something a few times on his communicator and he was suddenly looking at a screen depicting the outside of the ship. It wasn't disorienting because there was no "up" or "down" in space. Only where you or your target where in relation to each other.
She could see a sleek black spider like craft on his projected screen. It's engines at full burn as it headed towards what looked like another FTL Gate. This Gate was very busy and Lori could see cargo freighter's lined up in que, a greenish blue planet with pink splotches in the background./
"What the hell is that?" Tim asked no one in particular. She remembered seeing these ships above Farcee, or actually dropping onto it in a sneak attack.
"I think that is a swarm ship! By all the reports from the ground back on my home planet that ship has several queens on board and an entire battalion of Broodlings! " She was still looking at his communicators holographic image, and the planet in the background. "You can't let them reach a planet!" Her voice suddenly rising in a panic. If that ship reaches that planet there wouldn't be any way of stopping the Brood from establishing a colony. And once a single colony was established, they would begin systematically stripping the planet of biomass to rapidly increase their numbers, becoming a plague of the worst kind.
"Oh they aren't going anywhere." He extended his arm to provide her a better angle as a silver winged vehicle zipped by closely followed by three more. Lori could tell the Broodlings ship was much larger than the silver ship's but the United Sol ships were quickly gaining on the much larger enemy ship. Soon one of the silver ship's shot the spider like ship with what looked like a laser. One shot and she could see it's sublight engines splutter and fail. Within a few heartbeats three of the four appeared to "attach" themselves to the larger spider like vessel of the Broodlings. "Those Marines just had their day made. They get to play for a change instead of being stuck on ship." He chuckled as she caught the glint of his canine's as he smiled a definite predatory smile.
"Those are Broodlings and potentially a few of their Varille allies." She gulped. "They tore our defenses apart. They are very dangerous, you should warn them!" She looked back at the communicator. "Even these 'Marines' deserve a chance to live!"
"Calm down miss," Tim said with a sudden grin spreading wider across his face if it was possible, his white teeth flashing. "I can almost guarantee you that the scariest thing in that cluster of ships is the Terran Marines." He started shaking his head. "No, those poor bastards are having more fun than they have had in a few cycles."
The certainty in his voice and his demeanor caused her to relax somewhat. Just how strong was this Sol Alliance she wondered as she watched the communicator and finished her "goulash". She found it quite good compared to the minimal rations she had been eating on the Orion ship. She couldn't help but wonder yet again as to just what kind of people were these humans? Had they found an ally or would the U.S. Alliance end up being where her people's story ended.
Looking across the table at the young human slurping on his juice box she couldn't help but wonder which way this would go.

Disclaimer: Light worldbuilding, Open end,
CW: Death, Drug abuse
Hans nervously fiddled the pape out of the tobacco pack, which he had strategically placed there, along with the brown weed. He tried to not wetten the filter, which he had placed between his front teeth, with spit.
He placed the tobacco in the pape and:
roll-roll-roll
He took the filter out of his mouth with his middle- and indexfinger, both yellow at the tips and placed it carefully in front of the tobacco. Then, he rolled in the pape, licked over it, and rolled it one final time to close the cigarette.
He held it in the tips of his fingers for a moment, as if to admire his masterpiece. Once he was done with that, he smelled it and exhaled a deep breath. Like a gnerollean cigar.
To him, the rolling and lighting of a cigarette was almost better than the process of smoking it itself.
The first wave of dopamine and carcinoma, which, through pulmonary aveoli and the bloodstream crashed into the celebral cortex, only felt so good because of this ritual. Because of rolling the cigarette.
Ok, maybe this wasn't quite the truth. He liked the cigarettes one could buy way better. But he had come to aprecciate the process of rolling a cigarette.
In his imagination, it was similar to a junkie fixing his shot. He was aware that it was probably not, and he was also aware that it was a bad metaphor since both were drugs, but he didn't really care either way.
Why did he think about this stuff so much?
Rituals.
Rituals never had been particularly important to him. Birthdays, christmas, you name it. He liked them, when they happened organically, or when others planned them out. But he himself? Not a hater, but it barely crossed his mind.
But by now, he had grown to understand those who were angry at him because he had forgotten their birthday, those he had always deemed as "too sensible."
What would Easter be like with cheap chocolate-rodents or coloured chicken fetuses?
Halloween, without bad horror movies, or women in skimpy outfits and jocks, their odor a mix of puke and vodka?
Christmas, without the sweet scent of wax and cinnamon, without a beautifully decorated tree in the corner of the living room?
Now, that these rituals no longer took place, he missed them. The customs behind them itself still existed, but the rituals surrounding them, defining them, had almost ceased to exist in his little broken corner of the world.
Rolling cigs, pushing dumdums into magazines, forcing knives into throats. These were the rituals of the modern man.
Even though the idea shook him a quite bit, the idea of putting a bunch of glittery plastic on a tree seemed absurd.
It had been 3 years now since he had last seen a tree.
Ok, that wasn't quite the truth. In fact, he saw trees everyday.
Out of this sea of black, poisonous sludge, which had devoured the earth all around him, grey skeletons rose up into the sky.The memory of something that used to be a forest.
The same was true for the city. Certainly not the biggest city in the region, but a candidate for the most beautiful.
Asra, the "jewel of the south" they had called it. And he understood why.
It had been built along the shores of the river "Asren", among green hills, which made it an attractive location for wine growers. The city had been spared in the big wars. Well, not the last one. Obiously. No no no, it certainly hadn't been spared in that one. But in the ones before. Those were Hans hadn't been alive, yet.
Asra advertised itself as kind of a "time capsule", which worked perfectly. The city was flooded by tourists and students from further away. Hans himself had been, what some called a "university-refugee."
The old, pompous buildings with their facades made of sandstone, along with their archs and roofs made of copper gave the inner city a "noble" image. Like you had stepped into the old times, when things still were good.
The broad, well lit roads and city squares, filled with stores, resteraunts and museums made it an attractive place to live, as well.
Well, not for Hans. He had lived outside the city core. Endless rows of blocks and soulless cubes, whose owners dared calling "homes", poisoning the beautiful landscape.
And if you think "well, at least they were cheap, probably", you'd be wrong! It were middle class homes. Not a criminal outskirt or something along those lines. Somehow, that made it worse for Hans. Hundreds, maybe thousands of people liking this soulles place. Maybe it was something wrong with him? Whatever.
No matter his feelings on his living situation, it would turn out to be a blessing, after all. Despite hating this geometric labyrinth of sterile stone, it had been the biggest of these houses, along with one or two skyscrapers and Asra's cathedral, that would withstand the floods.
As Hans gaze went over this ocean of dirt, which had swalloed most of his life and country, a clattering noise caught his attention. A noise he only knew too well.
A bunch of empty cans, bound together by a rope.
Someone was in his house.
The flyers.... had these dumb assholes not read the fucking flyers?!
Maybe they really hadn't, or maybe they didn't care. It didn't matter. Whoever they were, whatever they wanted, they would die.
Easy as that.
Hans sneaked through the hallways, which he knew like the back of his hand. Left, right, down the first flights of stairs. He lay down with his back against the concrete railing.
His hand slowly moved into his jacket, and out came a glittering pistol, along a black, mat silencer.
He breathed in, then out. In a sudden movement, he looked over the railing into the hallway two floors below him.
Nothing.
But there they were. Voices, coming from left. Male, probably in their 30s or 40s. He knew where they were. All alarms in the house, though crude, were built by Hans to make different sounds. As he heard them approach, something caught his eye, and a beautiful idea crossed his mind.
Maybe he'd turn into a smart shopper just yet.

dealing with a breakup the semi-correct way
3 months ago my bf decided to end the relationship with me after almost 5 years. I was half blindsided bc i know we both weren’t exactly happy for a while, i didn’t expect him to break the news to me peacefully on a weekday evening.
my relationship with him has been a bumpy ride. we’ve had a lot of issues that stemmed from miscommunication, just rolled to a point love isn’t enough and love faded away. he said we are incompatible, we have different hobbies, i abused him emotionally, etc. essentially it feels like i was the reason why this relationship didn’t work.
i was devastated and really sad for the past 3 months. full of guilt and shame. i wanted him back and recognized my fair share of issues, and i am willing to work on them. i begged, i cried, offered to be FWB, did everything i could but our interactions were just simply unpleasant.
eventually, i realized that the person i loved is gone. and the urge of talking to him also died. you can’t force someone who doesn’t love you to work with you. he thinks I’m crazy, emotionally unstable, controlling and manipulative. maybe some parts are true. he acts extremely cold and ruthless in front of me. he broke my heart again and again but i still want to find excuses for him. but at the same time, it’s so much for me to endure and i know it’s finally time to let go.
since the breakup happened, i started therapy and started reading psychology books. i tried to still workout regularly but gave myself a lot of graces when I’m just feeling so down. i reached out to all my friends who i am comfortable with sharing the breakup. i started talking to my parents whenever i can rather than weekly catchups. i would go on walks alone and listening to podcasts. i journal and do the worksheets my therapist gave me.
in the past, i always cope with breakups by jumping into another relationship. i can’t tolerate the heartbreak pain and also can’t stand to be alone. but I’m turning 27 soon, i think it’s time for me to stop running away from my problems.
do I feel lonely? absolutely. do i still think about my past relationship and occasionally stalk my ex? i do. i also sometimes go on dating apps to swipe to distract myself. i’m not doing everything perfectly, but at least working to cope in a healthtier way. healing is probably gonna be a long journey but everyday i notice a tiny bit of improvement. i am really proud of myself for doing everything in a better way that serves me.
life goes on, and ill probably still be sad tomorrow. but hopefully one day, i will wake up and realize i dont mind being by myself and i love myself so much.

3 months ago my bf decided to end the relationship with me after almost 5 years. I was half blindsided bc i know we both weren’t exactly happy for a while, i didn’t expect him to break the news to me peacefully on a weekday evening.
my relationship with him has been a bumpy ride. we’ve had a lot of issues that stemmed from miscommunication, just rolled to a point love isn’t enough and love faded away. he said we are incompatible, we have different hobbies, i abused him emotionally, etc. essentially it feels like i was the reason why this relationship didn’t work.
i was devastated and really sad for the past 3 months. full of guilt and shame. i wanted him back and recognized my fair share of issues, and i am willing to work on them. i begged, i cried, offered to be FWB, did everything i could but our interactions were just simply unpleasant.
eventually, i realized that the person i loved is gone. and the urge of talking to him also died. you can’t force someone who doesn’t love you to work with you. he thinks I’m crazy, emotionally unstable, controlling and manipulative. maybe some parts are true. he acts extremely cold and ruthless in front of me. he broke my heart again and again but i still want to find excuses for him. but at the same time, it’s so much for me to endure and i know it’s finally time to let go.
since the breakup happened, i started therapy and started reading psychology books. i tried to still workout regularly but gave myself a lot of graces when I’m just feeling so down. i reached out to all my friends who i am comfortable with sharing the breakup. i started talking to my parents whenever i can rather than weekly catchups. i would go on walks alone and listening to podcasts. i journal and do the worksheets my therapist gave me.
in the past, i always cope with breakups by jumping into another relationship. i can’t tolerate the heartbreak pain and also can’t stand to be alone. but I’m turning 27 soon, i think it’s time for me to stop running away from my problems.
do I feel lonely? absolutely. do i still think about my past relationship and occasionally stalk my ex? i do. i also sometimes go on dating apps to swipe to distract myself. i’m not doing everything perfectly, but at least working to cope in a healthtier way. healing is probably gonna be a long journey but everyday i notice a tiny bit of improvement. i am really proud of myself for doing everything in a better way that serves me.
life goes on, and ill probably still be sad tomorrow. but hopefully one day, i will wake up and realize i dont mind being by myself and i love myself so much.

Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
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The base was dark, so, once clear of the smoke, the squad switched over to night vision. They moved through the walkways past the garage, until they were confident the area was clear.
Second squad moved ahead to watch the passages that lead further into the complex interior, and Lieutenant Akane called the team leaders together. She was joined by one of their support personnel, a member of Valkyrie’s combat engineering teams, who carried a heavy looking backpack.
As the Rangers gathered around, they saw her withdrawing a small collection of drones and laying them out on the floor. She played with a control pad, and they buzzed to life one by one, taking off into the dark recesses of the base.
“Survey drones,” explained Akane. “They’ll use echolocation to generate a complete map of the facility as we move. Most Jotnar combat drones aren’t equipped to pick up high frequency sounds, but if one does go down, that will tell us something new. Corporal Rudaski?” She turned to Kes.
“There’s a ton of connecting halls right around this garage,” Kes explained. “It’s probably a maintenance shop for the bases’ vehicles. I think we have a lot of room clearing ahead of us.”
“You happy to take point?”
“Absolutely, ma’am.”
“Great. The whole force is generating maps and the system will piece them together, and distribute them to your HUDs. Call in your position at regular intervals. We could easily get lost in this place.”
With that, first squad got back to their feet, and Kayla led them forward into the darkness.
She felt excited and alert, and was pieing her corners with perfect form, her weapon snapping around as she scanned for threats amid the maze of halls and machines. The rest of the squad followed behind, filling in the angles and keeping her covered as she moved.
Further into the base they found storehouses stacked with components, and assembly lines manned by unmoving robots. Rail tracks and sky cranes ran everywhere. The Rangers flowed through the complex environment in the calculated dance of close quarters battle, one of the skills they drilled constantly when not deployed.
It was a series of problems Kayla had to solve quickly and constantly. When she entered a new hall, should she move left, or right? Should she keep her body oriented towards the space of a large workshop, or in the direction of an upcoming corridor? She might be a quick shot, but she would always be faster if she faced the direction of highest probable threat—usually any unscanned space. But there were new openings branching off every which way.
The platoon’s other squads moved with them, locking down their sectors as the area was cleared. Kayla’s mind fell into the groove that rigorous training gave her easily enough, but the flow of information was constant, and she couldn’t risk even a second’s inattention.
All this with the prospect of coming face to face with a combat drone’s weapon around the next corner.
The work took them more than an hour, and when Kes called them to stop and take up protective positions so they could rest, Kayla felt herself sag with relief.
“You’re getting tired Barnes,” Kes observed.
“Vipers don’t get tired,” Kayla objected. But the adrenaline of the assault had worn off, and she was starting to feel her lack of sleep like a heavy weight around her neck.
“Uhuh. Ray will take point from here onwards, and you can switch back in later.”
Kayla didn’t protest.
They sipped water and munched on snacks as the platoon held the position. Kes spent time listening to the radio traffic from the battalion net.
“It sounds like this whole base is one big, automated plant,” she said eventually. “There are loading bays for bringing in raw materials, and transit lanes for shipping things back and forth.”
“Oh sure,” Lyna added. “These warehouses are full of spare parts. And everything in here has a machine to move it and attach it somewhere. It’s automated maintenance. The civilian world would dream of building factories like this, but they don’t have the tech to remove humans from the process, yet.”
“So, there’s no sign of life?” Kayla asked.
“Not yet,” Kes observed.
“Did you ever see anything like this before?”
“Never,” Kes said, with a concerned expression. “Ray, you?”
“Nope,” Ray said. “Active construction of Jotnar tech was not a possibility yesterday. But today we have an entire base built for it? On an unremarkable ice planet too, so it’s nice and hidden while it works away. It’s a little concerning.”
“All the shapes are different too,” Kes said. “Different machines, different layout. Everything looks… sexier, for want of a better word. It’s like an evolution.”
“This is a fun conversation,” Kayla remarked.
“Oh, I bet Rayker left us all kinds of new surprises to play with,” Ray said with a wink.
“Yeah, thanks for the nightmare fuel, Ray,” Lyna added. “How about we change the subject?”
“Hey, did I ever tell you about the Trung sisters?” Tian asked. “Two military leaders from the history of Vietnam?”
“Don’t think so,” Kes said. “But now’s a good time for a morale boost.”
“To make a long story short,” Tian continued to the attentive squad, “Vietnam was occupied by Chinese oppressors. The governor executed some noblemen on suspicion of fomenting rebellion. These two sisters, Nhi and Trac, took over, lead the destruction of the Chinese garrison, and waged a war for independence.”
“That’s awesome,” Kayla said, as the others nodded in agreement. “Woman-power, throwing off the shackles of colonizers. The Chinese empire really got put in their place, yeah?”
“Nah, not really,” Tian said as she tore open another energy bar. “They won the war, and the sisters were both beheaded.”
She chewed thoughtfully as the squad absorbed this information in silence.
“That was a lame-ass story, Tian,” Lyna observed eventually.
“Seriously?” Tian said with an expression of disappointment. “They led a glorious and heroic defense of the motherland. Their names passed into legend. What more do you want?”
“I dunno,” Lyna said. “The heroines surviving and living happily ever after?”
Tian snorted with laughter. “No, that’s never a thing in Asian history.”
“Tian,” Kes said as she rubbed her eyes. “You are forbidden from morale raising attempts until this op is over.”
***
After the short break, and with the vehicle maintenance area cleared, the platoon began to push further into the base’s interior. Transportation tunnels branched away in different directions, and Akane was forced to start splitting the squads.
“Drop your radio beacons as you go,” she cautioned Kes. “Keep checking in.”
This time, Kes’s fire team led the squad, with Kayla bringing up the rear. They followed a tram line for a hundred yards, investigated a delivery car stacked with components, and exited the tunnel where a station opened up into another long hallway.
The squad was moving alone, with Lyna on point, when Kes stopped their advance to give a location update.
“Entering uh… hall echo-three,” she said, her head rotating slightly as her eyes scanned the holographic map that was projected in her vizor’s HUD.
“Copy two-one, you are at echo three,” Sergeant Reyes’ cool voice responded.
“Kes, check it out,” Lyna beckoned softly, and the corporal moved towards her to see where she was pointing. A narrow exit seemed to let out onto a larger open space.
Kayla activated the map and took stock of their situation. “Hey,” she hissed from behind them. “Shut off your helmet lights.”
The Rangers were in night vision mode, but the base was so dark they still had to use low energy settings on their helmet torches to give the sensors something to work with.
“What?” Lyna said back in confusion. “Then we can’t see a thing.”
“There’s a huge space on the other side of that opening,” Kayla insisted. “Anything in there with low-light sensors will be able to pinpoint us easily. Why don’t we use an illumination drone instead?”
“But it will cast shadows,” Kes insisted. “We won’t be able to see everywhere.”
“Yeah, and an enemy will have the same problem.”
Kes nodded thoughtfully. “I agree. Squad—lights off, break out an illumer.”
Lyna quietly dropped her pack and withdrew an aircraft the size of a small bird. She controlled it with a handheld device, and watched its camera feed through her vizor. It drifted into the space ahead, and the dim light spread to reveal an area larger than a sports stadium.
Thandi pointed to a raised assembly bench in the center of the space. “I think we found the point of this place,” she said.
On the bench a large humanoid form lay still. It appeared to be half-finished, though to Kayla, using the limited zoom of her helmet vizor, it was clearly armored and carrying what looked like weapons. She silently cursed as the distance made it impossible to make out more details. Her binoculars were not low-light adaptive. Others in the squad had attached sophisticated, high-magnification optics to their weapons, but with only a holo-sight, she was dependent on them for a clear view.
“Let’s go see what the fuss is all about,” Tian said, a little too confidently.
“No, wait,” Kayla hissed again.
Lyna and Kes crept back from the entrance threshold to join her.
“What’s up, Barnes?” Kes asked patiently.
“Doesn’t that just look wrong to you?” Kayla said. Her mind was still sluggish with fatigue, but adrenaline had started to seep into her blood, and she had learned to trust her instincts.
“Everything about this place looks wrong to me,” Kes said. “But we need to keep moving. If we start jumping at shadows, we will be down here for weeks.”
Kayla forced her thoughts to the surface, and tried to arrange them clearly. “There’s no machinery near the bench. Everything is stacked up around the outside of the hall. It’s just a wide-open space surrounded by well-covered positions.”
Kes shrugged. “We’re not engineers. How do we know how this place Is supposed to operate?”
“But there are trams packed with components back there,” Kayla insisted. “Rayker just left this thing half finished, when she knew we were coming?”
“Maybe she ran out of time? If she’s on the freighter she was pushing her escape margin to the limit.”
Kayla shook her head. “I don’t buy it. I’m getting goosebumps.”
“Gotta be honest,” Ray interjected, “but I’m with Kayla. The whole thing looks a bit sketch.”
“And what are we supposed to do about it?” Kes asked.
“Post overwatch while I sneak over there and check it out,” Kayla suggested hopefully.
Lyna scoffed quietly. “The lone Ranger rides again, huh?”
Kes said nothing. Kayla wondered what thoughts were passing behind the impassive metal face of her vizor. Was she really pushing her squad leader’s last nerve? Or just being sensible?
Eventually, the corporal nodded slowly. “Okay Barnes, you have fifteen minutes to get down there and see what’s up. Yak will stay up here with her LMG, but Ray and Tian will go with you.”
Kayla wanted to protest. “Well—”
“Don’t even think of questioning me this time.”
“Yes, Corporal,” Kayla replied meekly.
The squad moved through the entrance and took up positions on a walkway that ran around the hall. Four rifles, and two machine guns scanned the hall for anything that moved.
“Keep a good few yards of separation,” Kayla advised her companions. “Do what I do. Do not make a sound.”
It seemed logical to circle the hall and check out the hidden spaces circling the outside. Moving slowly forward, she stuck to the shadows cast by the drone, and when she had to cross an illuminated patch, she slung her weapon on her back and low crawled.
Cranes and gantries ten stories high crowded the ceiling and cliff-like walls, and the three Rangers snaked their way through a chaos of geometric forms. They passed shelves of armor plates and actuators, stacks of energy modules, and trays neatly arrayed with control boards. Kayla looked closely at a bin filled with tubes to see that they were indeed barrels for a weapon system.
Though she had begun the recon feeling nervous, Tian and Ray followed her well enough. Even so, she couldn’t suppress the habit of looking back and checking up on them. Kayla eventually came to a ramp and conveyor belt from where she could observe a raised platform ringed with consoles. The position struck her as a perfect place to ambush an unsuspecting visitor, and she wanted a closer look.
“Time’s a wasting Barnes, let’s wrap this up,” Kes radioed to her headset.
Kayla tapped her mic switch and transmitted a single burst of static; acknowledged.
She peered around her hiding spot and watched the platform as carefully as she could. At first all she saw was a clean boxy structure, but as she zoomed into the fuzzy green image, she made out a spider like form, half-concealed in the shadows. It was carrying something that looked very much like a machine gun.
Reaching up to her mic switch, she transmitted a triple burst. Enemy contact. Beside her, Ray and Tian stiffened. Kayla turned calmly to them, and made a fist with her hand, mimed a throw, then held up three fingers.
They nodded, and reached into pouches for their grenades. Kayla transmitted a double burst; standby. The squad would be prepared for what would happen next.
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Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
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The base was dark, so, once clear of the smoke, the squad switched over to night vision. They moved through the walkways past the garage, until they were confident the area was clear.
Second squad moved ahead to watch the passages that lead further into the complex interior, and Lieutenant Akane called the team leaders together. She was joined by one of their support personnel, a member of Valkyrie’s combat engineering teams, who carried a heavy looking backpack.
As the Rangers gathered around, they saw her withdrawing a small collection of drones and laying them out on the floor. She played with a control pad, and they buzzed to life one by one, taking off into the dark recesses of the base.
“Survey drones,” explained Akane. “They’ll use echolocation to generate a complete map of the facility as we move. Most Jotnar combat drones aren’t equipped to pick up high frequency sounds, but if one does go down, that will tell us something new. Corporal Rudaski?” She turned to Kes.
“There’s a ton of connecting halls right around this garage,” Kes explained. “It’s probably a maintenance shop for the bases’ vehicles. I think we have a lot of room clearing ahead of us.”
“You happy to take point?”
“Absolutely, ma’am.”
“Great. The whole force is generating maps and the system will piece them together, and distribute them to your HUDs. Call in your position at regular intervals. We could easily get lost in this place.”
With that, first squad got back to their feet, and Kayla led them forward into the darkness.
She felt excited and alert, and was pieing her corners with perfect form, her weapon snapping around as she scanned for threats amid the maze of halls and machines. The rest of the squad followed behind, filling in the angles and keeping her covered as she moved.
Further into the base they found storehouses stacked with components, and assembly lines manned by unmoving robots. Rail tracks and sky cranes ran everywhere. The Rangers flowed through the complex environment in the calculated dance of close quarters battle, one of the skills they drilled constantly when not deployed.
It was a series of problems Kayla had to solve quickly and constantly. When she entered a new hall, should she move left, or right? Should she keep her body oriented towards the space of a large workshop, or in the direction of an upcoming corridor? She might be a quick shot, but she would always be faster if she faced the direction of highest probable threat—usually any unscanned space. But there were new openings branching off every which way.
The platoon’s other squads moved with them, locking down their sectors as the area was cleared. Kayla’s mind fell into the groove that rigorous training gave her easily enough, but the flow of information was constant, and she couldn’t risk even a second’s inattention.
All this with the prospect of coming face to face with a combat drone’s weapon around the next corner.
The work took them more than an hour, and when Kes called them to stop and take up protective positions so they could rest, Kayla felt herself sag with relief.
“You’re getting tired Barnes,” Kes observed.
“Vipers don’t get tired,” Kayla objected. But the adrenaline of the assault had worn off, and she was starting to feel her lack of sleep like a heavy weight around her neck.
“Uhuh. Ray will take point from here onwards, and you can switch back in later.”
Kayla didn’t protest.
They sipped water and munched on snacks as the platoon held the position. Kes spent time listening to the radio traffic from the battalion net.
“It sounds like this whole base is one big, automated plant,” she said eventually. “There are loading bays for bringing in raw materials, and transit lanes for shipping things back and forth.”
“Oh sure,” Lyna added. “These warehouses are full of spare parts. And everything in here has a machine to move it and attach it somewhere. It’s automated maintenance. The civilian world would dream of building factories like this, but they don’t have the tech to remove humans from the process, yet.”
“So, there’s no sign of life?” Kayla asked.
“Not yet,” Kes observed.
“Did you ever see anything like this before?”
“Never,” Kes said, with a concerned expression. “Ray, you?”
“Nope,” Ray said. “Active construction of Jotnar tech was not a possibility yesterday. But today we have an entire base built for it? On an unremarkable ice planet too, so it’s nice and hidden while it works away. It’s a little concerning.”
“All the shapes are different too,” Kes said. “Different machines, different layout. Everything looks… sexier, for want of a better word. It’s like an evolution.”
“This is a fun conversation,” Kayla remarked.
“Oh, I bet Rayker left us all kinds of new surprises to play with,” Ray said with a wink.
“Yeah, thanks for the nightmare fuel, Ray,” Lyna added. “How about we change the subject?”
“Hey, did I ever tell you about the Trung sisters?” Tian asked. “Two military leaders from the history of Vietnam?”
“Don’t think so,” Kes said. “But now’s a good time for a morale boost.”
“To make a long story short,” Tian continued to the attentive squad, “Vietnam was occupied by Chinese oppressors. The governor executed some noblemen on suspicion of fomenting rebellion. These two sisters, Nhi and Trac, took over, lead the destruction of the Chinese garrison, and waged a war for independence.”
“That’s awesome,” Kayla said, as the others nodded in agreement. “Woman-power, throwing off the shackles of colonizers. The Chinese empire really got put in their place, yeah?”
“Nah, not really,” Tian said as she tore open another energy bar. “They won the war, and the sisters were both beheaded.”
She chewed thoughtfully as the squad absorbed this information in silence.
“That was a lame-ass story, Tian,” Lyna observed eventually.
“Seriously?” Tian said with an expression of disappointment. “They led a glorious and heroic defense of the motherland. Their names passed into legend. What more do you want?”
“I dunno,” Lyna said. “The heroines surviving and living happily ever after?”
Tian snorted with laughter. “No, that’s never a thing in Asian history.”
“Tian,” Kes said as she rubbed her eyes. “You are forbidden from morale raising attempts until this op is over.”
***
After the short break, and with the vehicle maintenance area cleared, the platoon began to push further into the base’s interior. Transportation tunnels branched away in different directions, and Akane was forced to start splitting the squads.
“Drop your radio beacons as you go,” she cautioned Kes. “Keep checking in.”
This time, Kes’s fire team led the squad, with Kayla bringing up the rear. They followed a tram line for a hundred yards, investigated a delivery car stacked with components, and exited the tunnel where a station opened up into another long hallway.
The squad was moving alone, with Lyna on point, when Kes stopped their advance to give a location update.
“Entering uh… hall echo-three,” she said, her head rotating slightly as her eyes scanned the holographic map that was projected in her vizor’s HUD.
“Copy two-one, you are at echo three,” Sergeant Reyes’ cool voice responded.
“Kes, check it out,” Lyna beckoned softly, and the corporal moved towards her to see where she was pointing. A narrow exit seemed to let out onto a larger open space.
Kayla activated the map and took stock of their situation. “Hey,” she hissed from behind them. “Shut off your helmet lights.”
The Rangers were in night vision mode, but the base was so dark they still had to use low energy settings on their helmet torches to give the sensors something to work with.
“What?” Lyna said back in confusion. “Then we can’t see a thing.”
“There’s a huge space on the other side of that opening,” Kayla insisted. “Anything in there with low-light sensors will be able to pinpoint us easily. Why don’t we use an illumination drone instead?”
“But it will cast shadows,” Kes insisted. “We won’t be able to see everywhere.”
“Yeah, and an enemy will have the same problem.”
Kes nodded thoughtfully. “I agree. Squad—lights off, break out an illumer.”
Lyna quietly dropped her pack and withdrew an aircraft the size of a small bird. She controlled it with a handheld device, and watched its camera feed through her vizor. It drifted into the space ahead, and the dim light spread to reveal an area larger than a sports stadium.
Thandi pointed to a raised assembly bench in the center of the space. “I think we found the point of this place,” she said.
On the bench a large humanoid form lay still. It appeared to be half-finished, though to Kayla, using the limited zoom of her helmet vizor, it was clearly armored and carrying what looked like weapons. She silently cursed as the distance made it impossible to make out more details. Her binoculars were not low-light adaptive. Others in the squad had attached sophisticated, high-magnification optics to their weapons, but with only a holo-sight, she was dependent on them for a clear view.
“Let’s go see what the fuss is all about,” Tian said, a little too confidently.
“No, wait,” Kayla hissed again.
Lyna and Kes crept back from the entrance threshold to join her.
“What’s up, Barnes?” Kes asked patiently.
“Doesn’t that just look wrong to you?” Kayla said. Her mind was still sluggish with fatigue, but adrenaline had started to seep into her blood, and she had learned to trust her instincts.
“Everything about this place looks wrong to me,” Kes said. “But we need to keep moving. If we start jumping at shadows, we will be down here for weeks.”
Kayla forced her thoughts to the surface, and tried to arrange them clearly. “There’s no machinery near the bench. Everything is stacked up around the outside of the hall. It’s just a wide-open space surrounded by well-covered positions.”
Kes shrugged. “We’re not engineers. How do we know how this place Is supposed to operate?”
“But there are trams packed with components back there,” Kayla insisted. “Rayker just left this thing half finished, when she knew we were coming?”
“Maybe she ran out of time? If she’s on the freighter she was pushing her escape margin to the limit.”
Kayla shook her head. “I don’t buy it. I’m getting goosebumps.”
“Gotta be honest,” Ray interjected, “but I’m with Kayla. The whole thing looks a bit sketch.”
“And what are we supposed to do about it?” Kes asked.
“Post overwatch while I sneak over there and check it out,” Kayla suggested hopefully.
Lyna scoffed quietly. “The lone Ranger rides again, huh?”
Kes said nothing. Kayla wondered what thoughts were passing behind the impassive metal face of her vizor. Was she really pushing her squad leader’s last nerve? Or just being sensible?
Eventually, the corporal nodded slowly. “Okay Barnes, you have fifteen minutes to get down there and see what’s up. Yak will stay up here with her LMG, but Ray and Tian will go with you.”
Kayla wanted to protest. “Well—”
“Don’t even think of questioning me this time.”
“Yes, Corporal,” Kayla replied meekly.
The squad moved through the entrance and took up positions on a walkway that ran around the hall. Four rifles, and two machine guns scanned the hall for anything that moved.
“Keep a good few yards of separation,” Kayla advised her companions. “Do what I do. Do not make a sound.”
It seemed logical to circle the hall and check out the hidden spaces circling the outside. Moving slowly forward, she stuck to the shadows cast by the drone, and when she had to cross an illuminated patch, she slung her weapon on her back and low crawled.
Cranes and gantries ten stories high crowded the ceiling and cliff-like walls, and the three Rangers snaked their way through a chaos of geometric forms. They passed shelves of armor plates and actuators, stacks of energy modules, and trays neatly arrayed with control boards. Kayla looked closely at a bin filled with tubes to see that they were indeed barrels for a weapon system.
Though she had begun the recon feeling nervous, Tian and Ray followed her well enough. Even so, she couldn’t suppress the habit of looking back and checking up on them. Kayla eventually came to a ramp and conveyor belt from where she could observe a raised platform ringed with consoles. The position struck her as a perfect place to ambush an unsuspecting visitor, and she wanted a closer look.
“Time’s a wasting Barnes, let’s wrap this up,” Kes radioed to her headset.
Kayla tapped her mic switch and transmitted a single burst of static; acknowledged.
She peered around her hiding spot and watched the platform as carefully as she could. At first all she saw was a clean boxy structure, but as she zoomed into the fuzzy green image, she made out a spider like form, half-concealed in the shadows. It was carrying something that looked very much like a machine gun.
Reaching up to her mic switch, she transmitted a triple burst. Enemy contact. Beside her, Ray and Tian stiffened. Kayla turned calmly to them, and made a fist with her hand, mimed a throw, then held up three fingers.
They nodded, and reached into pouches for their grenades. Kayla transmitted a double burst; standby. The squad would be prepared for what would happen next.
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Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

Is my understanding of the BSM model (see below) correct, or am I missing something?
Similar to a binomial option valuation model, the price of an option should be its expected payoff — calculated as the sum of the probability-weighted future payoffs.
The BSM model differs in that:

• It indirectly estimates the probabilities of each future asset price by looking at the normal probability distribution of log returns — the lognormal distribution of asset prices can be converted to log returns which are themselves normally distributed.
  
• When using z-scores to estimate those probabilities, the BSM attempts to account for the randomness of asset prices by including the drift component from the Geometric Brownian motion to the mean: [r + (σ^2)/2]T for d1 and [r - (σ^2)/2]T.
  

Hey there. I’m a 22 yo female and have a crush on one of my coursemates. He’s one of the most handsome people I’ve seen in my lifetime and I can’t help it but always stare for a few seconds when he enters the class but always ensure to be careful so I don’t overdo it unless he sits in the front rows and I’m at the back where he can’t see im watching. He did catch me staring a few times actually so I’m presuming he knows I probably find him attractive.
Anw, we never really talked and he took my seat three times, basically in one of our classes we have a lecture in a laboratory accompanied by a one hour break and then 3 hour practicals in the same laboratory. Those three times he didn’t show up to the lecture and only to the practicals and got my chair those three times when I was on the break as it’s close to his friends’ seats (PS I would always leave the bag under it hoping that one would notice the spot is taken, despite this he still took the seat without even apologising when seeing me coming back from the break realising I need to get a new chair).
Another time we had one course meeting and he showed up late, there was a bunch of spare seats on the row I was sitting, he entered, saw me and walked the other direction to a row full of people and fewer seats.
In one of our modules the Professor hands in worksheets to the people at the front and we circulate them around for everyone one to grab one. One time he was next to me (we had some empty chairs in between) I was busy writing stuff down and didn’t notice he had the worksheets and instead of saying sth he slid them towards me with lots of force with some of them flying off lol, I genuinely got scared.
It’s kinda clear he’s not into me but I can’t decipher this behaviour. Do guys get mad if a girl they’re not into makes eye contact or even feel offended (he’s Dutch btw, I’m Italian and we’re both studying abroad). PS I’ve never ever stared for more than a few seconds unless he was sitting in the front rows where he couldn’t see me. His blonde locks never fail to catch my attention hahah.

Hi! A while ago, I made a post about my magic system based on channeling magic from certain celestial bodies, then made another post about runic magic and the system's limitations. Today, I want to talk about how magic was first discovered in lab conditions, as well as strange behaviors that have been observed in living beings in recent years (formally referred to as "spontaneous rituals" in thaumological academia).

The Veil - How was magic discovered?

Magic was discovered circa 2030. A group of physicists observed a seemingly impossible interaction between subatomic particles that only occurred under certain, very specific, velocities and positions. Modern thaumologists know that this specific combination of velocity and position constituted a very weak ritual, which the particles mindlessly and accidentally performed, and that led to them being affected by a simple arcane effect.
Before this event, there were no magical phenomena observable in the world, even at the subatomic level. However, the probability of this having been the first-ever ritual performed is astronomically low - some rituals require only a specific kind of geometric information that could easily have been replicated by chance through the movement of insects, or dust particles, or humans; how did this never happen before? Academic consensus dictates that there must've been thousands of accidental rituals in nature before, but no evidence suggests that there was ever an arcane effect before 2030.
Of course, since magic was discovered, not invented, this seems to suggest that it always existed; it was just being suppressed. This force that inhibited arcane effects before their discovery, whatever it is, was named "the Veil", because scientists are huge nerds. The most prominent theory is that the first observation of magic weakened the Veil somehow, making it less capable of suppressing arcane phenomena.
This is because, not one day after the publishing of the aforementioned observation, five different labs across the world discovered similarly impossible subatomic phenomena of completely unrelated natures. Three days later, hundreds of inexplicable behaviors were discovered on atomic and even molecular levels under specific conditions. Scientists named them "rituals", because, again, scientists are huge nerds.
A little over a month later, the first macroscopic rune was drawn accidentally on the whiteboard of a very confused team of organic chemists trying to understand the conditions that led to the absolutely-not-luminescent substance suddenly start glowing. The rune was simple and harmless, a basic light-emitting rune, but it was easily drawn - and when people started replicating it and seeing results, the Veil had been weakened so much that it is now considered effectively gone. This event is widely considered the day in which the Veil was pierced, for good.

Spontaneous rituals

Rituals, as seen, only need that a specific piece of information be described or expressed - it does not need to be intentional, and it does not need to be done by a person. Since the piercing of the Veil, there have been discovered thousands of microorganisms that exhibit magical properties, by having their organelles or chemical processes be organized in such a way that they function like a ritual. Notable mentions include a microscopic algae that uses magic to photosynthesize extremely efficiently and a predatory single-celled waterborne organism that magically bends water around it to bring prey to it.
There have recently been some spontaneous magical mutations in macroscopic beings that have been concerning, though. These creatures usually generate rituals by having some internal process be organized in a specific way - maybe their veins are structured in such a way that the movement of their blood constitutes a ritual, or maybe they perform certain metabolic process in specific amounts and rates that describe ritual information.
There are harmless examples of this, like beetles that turn invisible when threatened and octopuses that project small arcane barriers to protect themselves from predators. However, some magically enhanced animals and insect colonies (that perform rituals by having their individual members move in certain ways) have been causing trouble and damage, especially on rural cities.
It is unknown whether these creatures already had these magical capacities before the piercing of the Veil (and they were just being kept hidden) or if they have been only recently developed. On the one hand, it seems unlikely that these creatures would so conveniently develop such beneficial magical behaviors by pure mutation in such a short time frame - on the other hand, if they already had these capabilities on such macroscopic scales before, how could we not have noticed them?
The Veil and the origin of spontaneous rituals are still a matter of vehement debate and study, but sadly very little is known about them as of yet. For now, the scientific community awaits with curious ears for any answers about this strange phenomenon, whatever they may be.
So, did you guys like it? I'd love to hear feedback and suggestions if you have them!

Any feedback like what to add/subtract and if my resume is strong enough for jobs in my fields will be greatly appreciated. I’m about to start applying for jobs so I wanted to make sure.

We are a small shop using Syncro and IT Glue, and in the process of sorting our SOPs and documentation out.
I'm getting stuck on where to put processes. Been searching on here and on Tech Tribe for recommendations but haven't come to any conclusions yet.

• Syncro uses worksheets which are very simple checklists. You have basic functionality, but can't do things like insert explanations for each step, add hyperlinks etc. The nice thing is the worksheets integrate directly into our tickets, but I'm struggling with how basic they are.
• IT Glue uses Checklist Templates which are dogsh*t to put it bluntly and haven't meaningfully changed or been upgraded in years. I tried to integrate these into our workflow but they just don't work well, lack a good place to attach them, lack features, and aren't particularly visually friendly when in progress and being checked off.
• I signed up for a trial of Hudu, and their process checklists are marginally better, however they seem to be intent on copying IT Glue for the most part and aren't that much different. They do look better when in progress though.
• I also trialled Monday.com, which may be able to work but it's not quite the workflow i'm looking for and while powerful its probably a bit overkill and more visually complicated.

In an ideal world I'd like to be able to make checklists that have these features:

• Easily accessible in the office and on site
• Options to add pictures, hyperlinks and other form items to the checklist
• Conditional logic would be great - "Does the new user need access to this application?" If yes - automatically attaches 'Application setup' process.
• Easy to modify.
• Easy to setup templates.
• Not $XXX per month. We're a small shop and can't justify dropping hundreds or thousands of dollars per month on this.
• Ideally integrates into our other tools but this is not essential at this stage.

Not looking to change RMM/PSA at this stage. I understand Halo has some decent tool for this, but we simply don't have time to even consider moving around on that front at the moment.
Alternatively I'd be keen to hear how others are doing processes - especially with processes where variations or extra steps are needed. Do you just attach another process to the ticket when a user needs a variation like the 'Application setup' process added to their onboarding? I did see someone in a thread about Hudu mention something like this.

We will go over some spiritual homework that is suggested to strengthen your aura and to build your body to repel manipulation or obfuscation, which is confusion. The 12th Dimensional Light Shield is an excellent way to build the integrity of your lightbody while repelling negative or dense energies from sticking to your energy body (aura).
So our core support practice is you wake up in the morning and your first step is to make a daily declaration of your intention to resolve the authority problem between the ego personality and God. And that can be simply stated in these words or words of your own that feel emotionally charged and connected to you such as:
My declaration of intention to serve my source. I commit to serve my highest power fully completely and totally.
I am God. I am Sovereign. I am Free.
We will go over some spiritual homework that is suggested to strengthen your aura and to build your body to repel manipulation or obfuscation, which is confusion. The 12th Dimensional Light Shield is an excellent way to build the integrity of your lightbody while repelling negative or dense energies from sticking to your energy body (aura).
So our core support practice is you wake up in the morning and your first step is to make a daily declaration of your intention to resolve the authority problem between the ego personality and God. And that can be simply stated in these words or words of your own that feel emotionally charged and connected to you such as:
My declaration of intention to serve my source. I commit to serve my highest power fully completely and totally.
I am God. I am Sovereign. I am Free.
How to build your personal 12D Shield:
And then you work with shielding your body, your personal energy field. Most of us know in becoming introduced to our body of work here at Energetic Synthesis, our core practice is the 12th dimensional shield. The 12th dimensional shield is a practice that fortifies and strengthens our aura by reconnecting us to our 12th dimensional blue print or Kryst or krystal body. As we shield ourselves, we learn energetic boundaries of our aura. And then we can learn to boundary test our aura to discordant energies that are uninvited.
The shield also helps us to re-imprint our body to physical and energy sustainability and health and this achieved by bringing balance to the body. It also allows communication to be restored with our spiritual forces and star family. It also empowers our body, ourselves to re-awaken the wisdom of our true origins which may mean we start to decode light language or start to understand more about the hidden history of our planet and of our race.
So as we work with the 12D shield, we use the six-pointed star, which is two triangles of merkabah that is representative of our merkabah body. Many of us are seasoned with this exercise but for many of us that are new and joining us now, let us go through the process of the 12D shield.
Coming in to the center of your brain, visualize a nice silver six-pointed star, the Star of David in the center of the brain. This geometry means unity, unity of polarity coming in to oneness with God. Allow that six- pointed star to be in the inside of your vision in the center of your brain. Feeling that unity move that geometric pattern of the six-pointed star down your chakra column, the center line of your body, and see it release between your legs.
You are going to send that all way to the core of the earth. And as you see your merkabah star, your unity connected to the core of the earth, see that humongous merkabah star in the center of our planet with all of your love, with all of your intentions sending unity of our planet, sending unity to every being on this planet.
As you see a thick feed line of platinum energy start to gather around you from this connection. Taking inhaled breaths you may feel in imprint of a cool menthol kind energy as the platinum shield feels kind of cool like mentholatum or eucalyptus. Memorize this imprint for it is: I am God, I am Sovereign, I am Free. It is the true krystal origin of your connection with God force. As you embody this force, you become the promise that embodies it for all of humanity.
With each inhale, as you feel your body start to connect with that frequency, again connect to that six-pointed star in the center of the earth and draw it up with your breath. As you see it returning back to you, have it stop in a position about 12 inches below your feet. This area beneath you is where the core mathematical signature of krystal body as it connects into your aura exists.
See your six-pointed star 12 inches below your feet and as you do you will see a platform, almost a circular horizontal platform emerge. This platform is your shield, it is your protector, it is that which builds the bottom of your spiritual house. It is your foundation to your spiritual house. So build that foundation. As you feel the firmness and the support building the foundation of your spiritual house in a circular platform, see your six-pointed star in the center of that platform. It is your core, it is your pillar, it is your strength and it belongs to you and no one else. This is your covenant and protection with God always.
As you feel your foundation, now start to sense and see that your 12D shield, a platinum energy emits off your foundation and feel it building a circular pillar of platinum sparked white light around you covering your body, every cell and pore of your energy system emitting and connected to crystalline light of God. As it protects you, as it hold you, as it supports you, it is your foundation and it is your security.
See it building over your legs and hips as it reaches your waist and your shoulders. Start to see it building above your head. You are going to intend to strengthen this pillar and build this pillar about 3 or 4 feet above your head. And this is the first dimensions to build your pillar in order to protect the personal aura body. If you bring your aura in and you want to protect the boundaries of your energy field - you can use this technique so that you can learn to test discordant energies and allow only that which is invited to impact your energy field. You are learning to boundary test. You are learning to create a boundary with your personal energy field before you can start to share this field with the planet and with others which will naturally happen as you become more stabilized and balanced in your own energy field. This process is called “commanding your personal space”.
Allow the shield to build and see yourself fully encompassed in your personal platinum pillar from 12 inches or so beneath your feet to 3 and a half to 4 feet above your head, your entire aura, your entire body saturated and protected in this strong pillar of platinum light.
And now we are going to build the same foundation on the top as you did on the bottom as you again in your inner vision - connect to the six-pointed star in the center of the foundation of your spiritual house. Let’s start to bring that six pointed star up through the center column of your body. Again the six pointed star represents the unity of polarities, unity of the inner masculine/feminine, it is all represented in this merkabah star symbol as it we allow it to move up the body’s center column and see it release at the top of the crown chakra. Send that six-pointed star to the very top of your pillar of light and let it linger there for a moment about 3 to 4 feet above your body, right in the center above your head. See that thick white light building strength in your core. That is your monadic staff or your central vertical channel. It’s the structure where your chakras are built upon.
If you cannot see this, just intend it for that is enough. In your vision, as you intend to put the six-pointed star 3 and half or 4 feet above your head see it start to build. It will start in its own movement of spinning to start to build yet another circular foundation above your head. You are protected below and you are protected above. As you create another lid to seal yourself inside your personal pillar of light , this is the roof of your house, the roof of your spiritual body.
We are going to see that “lid” as a circular platform just like you did below on your foundation. Create a circular roof that is like your lid on top of your shield. And as you feel that roof firmly being built these are the spiritual energies of your inner god force. Seal that seal in to the top of your platinum pillar of light. When this happens it almost feels like a hermetic seal as your are fully suspended in this protective light, fully shielded in your spiritual house and from this place you can use discernment, you can boundary test in all modalities and all decision and in all things that cross your path. If something becomes unclear or confused, allow it to be tested against your shield. Is it of your resonance? Is it not of your resonance? If it is not, do not fear it, let it go and move on your personal path. You are not missing anything. You didn’t make a bad decision. There is no mistake, only that which resonates with your personal heart-based God force and that which does not.
So you again feel yourself suspended in the protective spiritual house and pillar of God’s light. Program it through I am God, I am Sovereign, I am Free and allow nothing that is not aligned with those frequencies to enter your field, to enter your shield.
Finally focus on the six-pointed star, your Unity Merkaba symbol at the center of your personal pillar 3 to 4 feet above your head. You are now intending to ground multi-dimensionally by sending your six-pointed star out into deep space and into the connection with the Heart of the Universe, the heart of God itself. See your Merkabah Star flow away from the top of your shield through a platinum feed line all the way into the core of the Universe and grounding yourself into the center of the Cosmic Heart of the Universe.
And now from the place of your shield, you are going to invite your higher self, God self and your Ascension Guides, those which are in alignment to your sovereign freedom and to your highest evolution and heroic probability as we establish the connection with your beloveds, with your spiritual family. You know you are never alone. You know you are fully supported.
As you thank your Ascension guides, as you thank God, and allow yourself to be filled with peace, harmony, balance, and integration. Know that you are on the path of Ascension and on a need to know basis. And as you trust, you will receive all that you need in the moment. Learn to trust and listen to your inner spirit. Release all your worries, all of your doubt. Cast your entire burden to God now. In deep love and gratitude complete your meditation and seal your communication and intention.
https://youtu.be/XhuLXYLhz-c

whenever i hear people talking about weed i get the impression they feel high in a way that’s barely even comparable to how i do . i would like to know if you also experience any/all of these things while stoned
-auditory hallucinations: ranges from a constant shepard tone to hearing music and voices that aren’t actually there. a common one i hear is my name being called when it isn’t. the voices never speak in full sentences, and they’re basically identical to the hypnagogic auditory hallucinations i occasionally have
-human facial distortions: the size of facial features will appear to grow and shrink, not in proportion to each other
-tracers
-altered color perception so strong it’s hard to discern objects/scenery
-clusters of small things turning into geometric repeating patterns: e.g. grass and the leaves on trees turn into square fractals.
-what i can only describe as macro-lens vision. feels like you can infinitely zoom into anything and see every gritty detail; if you look at someone’s face you will suddenly be able to spot every blemish under their skin.
-terrible horrible pins and needles in all 4 of my limbs that can become very painful or otherwise so annoying i’ll start considering jumping out a window and ending it all just to make it stop
-alice in wonderland syndrome
-no munchies. weed has never increased my appetite ever and i’ve messed with it in a wide variety of forms
-extreme existential dread, the compulsion to go mute
footnote: it’s probably obvious but i don’t get all of these every time; it varies depending on strain, dose, route of administration, yada yada but it’s reliably at least 2 of the bullet points whenever i’m high. and by the way i fucking hate weed

first, i dont think this can be solved with recursion, because our probabilities keep changing,
second, when solving it the similar way of getting all numbers once, which is 6/6 + 6/5 +... ( through geometric sequence and not through recursion)
why cant this be solved by: 12/12+12/11+12/10...?
how can it be solved
thanks