I liked someone in university for 4 years, at the end of those 4 years my parents went to her house to formally ask for her hand in marriage. Even though there were glaring differences in our families in terms of education and culture (were from the same country and live in the same country as well but her family is much wealthier than mine while mine is more focused on education), I still convinced them and they accepted because it was my choice and they wanted to honour it. However, there wasn’t an enthusiastic response and after a couple of weeks passed during which my mother regularly checked up on them, they refused, citing that the istikhara wasn’t right.
A few months later the girl reached out again and said that they had done another istikhara and this time it was okay so they’d like to continue. I took some time to think. There was a lot going on, I had recently started my first job, I felt extremely overwhelmed, so I refused.
A year passed, and she reached out again to ask if we can reignite things and start the marriage process again. I told her that since I’d gotten my parents to try a few times and they’d been met with discouraging attitude, I would not be asking them to contact again. If she’s truly willing then she should get her parents to contact. Her mother called and when my mother asked about all their doubts and stuff, she completely denied ever saying any of those things and exhibiting that behaviour. My mother asked her to think about it some more and then get back to her after that. She didn’t call back. 4 months passed, during which I had no contact with the girl, and my family was intently busy in some emergencies as there were close relatives who had surgeries.
Finally, last week my mother called her’s to see what to do about this. We found out she’s going abroad for her masters in 3 days but they still came over to say yes. In the middle of these 3 days, our mothers talked once more to set up the meeting during which some harsh words were exchanged. When they were over, her father asked about those things very harshly as well, however my family handled that and cooled them down.
Today, a week later, she messaged me to say that her heart is not at peace and she can’t do it and it doesn’t feel the same to her as it used to. And that it was a hasty decision and she’s sorry. I asked her to give it some time and think about it, she refused and said her decision is final and cannot be changed.
I feel like my world has shattered, just when I thought everything I wanted was in my grasp, it has been snatched away. My heart feels like it’ll explode, I can’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do anymore. For years, I thought I would spend my life with this woman, and now it’s all gone.
Please if someone has ever gone through something like this, please I need help. I feel broken and destroyed, how did you move on from this?

Deep down I knew I don’t need permission or confirmation that my mother is generally malignant and the ultimate source of suffering in my life right now. But I can’t accept why my own mother would do that to me.
So I am turning to you for advice, support, and insights for ways to separate yourself emotionally and individuate from your parents later in life when you should've done so much much earlier. The adult part of me knows what I should do but there is also a part of me that is frightened. let me give you a snapshot of my life trajectory. The story is long but I want to give you as much contexts as possible. If you want a short summary of the dilemma, go to the last paragraph, otherwise, here is my life story (it is long because I want to give as much context as possible, and also show clues for the many different ways a narcissistic parent can disrupt your life): I grew up in a well-to-do family in an East Asian country, my parents gave birth to me when they were in their early 20s and just as their business started taking off in the 'boom years'. Both of them came from very broken family, my mother suffered poverty, abuse, and neglect from her parents (she did not speak to her dad until he died, and almost never acknowledges her mother). My father was the least favourite child in his family of three, he dropped out of high school, ended up on the street (and, as I learnt a few years ago, later in prison for getting into fights). My mother met my dad (21) when she was 19 and ran away from her hometown, they grew a very successful business together in the early to mid 20s and became incredibly wealthy for a society that is generally still very poor. I had a lot of luxuries in my early childhood, we had a car, I had good clothing, but my parents were never around. I started boarding at the age of 3, and generally spent most of my time outside of kindergarten and school with my paternal grandparents, and occasionally, my mum's mother. My parents fought a lot, and I remember my mother threatening to take me away from my dad and drove away from home with me in a car with nowhere specific to go. Once things got really bad and my mother told me that she is divorcing my father, and we even went into another flat (for a grand total of 1 day) before returning home. She emotionally smothered me, told me that she would die for me and nobody would love me as much as her. As the expression in our language puts it ' You are a piece of flesh fallen from my body'. She hit me a lot, often over small things , sometimes in public, I remember being thrown outside of our apartment and crying in the corridor. But I thought she was better than my father, whom, in my mother's words, would swiftly remarry in an event of her death/departure, and I would then be abused by another evil mother in law and her offsprings. My dad was completely absent from my childhood save for the first year (I remember playing video game, going to the park with him at the age of 3).
Although my family was wealthy, my mother took me out of the posh international school I was in after 6 months and sent me to a state school that is (in)famous for being extremely strict and militant. I was a 'good, smart kid' in primary school, but when I got to the state school at the age around 12 or 13, I became very depressed and that life has no purpose. I was falling at almost all school subjects (except History), and I started drinking (my dad drank a lot, and alcoholism is culturally tolerated if not perpetuated). At this point something happened that saved me in retrospect. My family decided to emigrate to an anglophone New World country and I went to yet another boarding school there. Yes, I experienced racism and generally felt horrible about the way I looked (not good looking in the Western sense or sporty), but I got to be separated from my family and grew as an individual. My grades got better, and by year 12, 13 I was among the best performing students. Between 13-18, I rarely see my father (perhaps once or twice a year), my mother would visit periodically, they bought a house next to the school, so I started to live in the house (mostly alone, sometimes with my mother and whatever hapless young women she manipulated into being her assistant). My parents couldn't speak English, and I dealt with most family matters, as with many first gen immigrant kid. By the time that I was supposed to go to university, I wanted to do law & politics at the public university in my adopted hometown but then my father intervened stating that I would never get a good job at a respectful company with a degree from the backwater 2nd rate university. He insisted that I should go to the U.K. or the U.S. He also stopped me from taking a gap year to travel, so I mostly stayed at home, played game, whilst being a driver and an assistant to them for a year. I regret not leaving home and getting a job. I applied to many universities in the U.K, Canada, and Australia, got into most of them, and ended up choosing the worst ranked university because I wanted to be in London. I couldn't do a conjoint degree so I chose to study politics (as that's what I was interested in). University life was eye opening, I got to see Europe, realised that the world was much bigger than the conformist, conservative East Asian country and the backwater suburbs with strip-malls and junk food stores I grew up in. But the degree did not prepare me for life, and all those years of bad parenting, emotionally under-development made me miserable in my first taste of adult relationships. I chose emotionally distant if not abusive friends, was a horrible person who hurt people who actually liked me and loved me. I did no internship or travel because I was expected to go home during school holiday, helping them move house, looking after guests, and being the 'little husband' when my mother was giving brith to my youngest sibling. I really wanted to stay in London, I looked for jobs, very random jobs because I had no life skills and never ever made my own money. So in the end, I left, and had to return to East Asia. By this time, my father had moved to another, more cosmopolitan East Asian city as his lifestyle became more and more extravagant. I lived with him and started interning at a fancy company in the culture industry. I worked there for almost a year hoping they would offer me a job, they did not. I got another job fairly soon in brand consulting, and finally at the age of 23 started making money. I had a relationship with an older woman, she was kind and tolerant, and I was an arse. I also realised that I cannot combine intimacy and sex at this point. I tried to start my own freelancing consultancy, acquired the ability to impress other people (faking it). Things seem to be working, I almost made enough money to support my life, but I was fundamentally lost and unhappy. I had the first depressive episode in my life. I wanted to go back to London, to get a Masters degree. So I applied and got into my dream school, my father agreed to pay for my education, so off I went to university again. That was probably the happiest year of my life, it turned out I loved elements of academia, research, being with other smart nerdy people. I met an intelligent, caring, and beautiful woman, and we moved in together soon after. I discovered more fulfilling, freer ways to live, I found proofs that a successful life was not just about working for an investment bank, or being rich. I wanted to be an academic, so I applied for a PhD at the school, and I got in after two attempts. Academia isn't all rosy, the work condition is pretty awful, the publish or perish mentality literally sucks every last bit of joy and fulfilment out of research, I loved teaching, but quickly learnt that teaching matters little at a 'research university'. I got fat, my relationship got really bad, sex became non-existent, arguments soon turned physical, and I thought that I was a real piece of shit and better off dead. The only thing that kept me going at the time? Bitterness and shame. I felt indebted to everyone, to my partner because I was an abusive arsehole, and to my family because I was stupid enough to do a PhD and wasting their money (and my life away). The pandemic hits, and sure enough, things got even worse, I felt like I couldn't carry on anymore and that I needed to radically un-f my life. My solution to this: was to finally become the person my family wanted me to be, filial, loyal, and rich. I was ready to threw my life in London away, everything, my home, my girlfriend, my PhD and move back to East Asia to become rich, and 'stop being a loser'. I came home to 'fix my family' and showered everyone with love and attention in ways I never did. I networked and explored ways to get into finance, and I got an at a VC firm. Soon enough, the whole thing completed backfired and my life started to unravel faster than I could count to three. I hated the internship, it fundamentally clashed with who I was and my value, I cried everyday in the toilet at work. I also broke up with my girlfriend for a person who was the poplar opposite of her that I had no attachment to (and sex was great because there was zero emotional intimacy). Within 3 months, I had very little savings left, was living in a short term rental apartment, and spent most of my time in bed and eating very unhealthily. Luckily, I had a therapist, a good friend in Shanghai, and my girlfriend was willing to give me a second chance. It was also around this time I realised how my family's (what do you even call it) emotional neglect might have contributed to my unhappiness and depression. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and medicated, the medicine helped for me to move out of paralysis. But I wanted to tell my family that I am very unwell and get them to love me back, so I confronted them over things they have done to me as a kid and showed them the diagnosis. My mother did not handle this well. She called me horrible names, made fun of me, and accused me for being a horrible son. This whole ordeal made me realise that I needed to break away from them, and what I had thrown away in London was actually the most valuable things I have in life, a career, a family, my own identity. After confronting my mother over her abusive behaviour and emotional smothering, she vowed to never see me again. However, after 6-8 months, she sent me a large chunk of money for my birthday. So I, stupidly, let her back into my life again, a part of the reason was the financial help that I needed (to feel safe mostly), but I also really wanted to see proofs that my parents actually did love and accept me after all. At first, things got better, she came for Christmas, visited a few times, celebrated her birthday, and looked really happy. Both my partner and I spent a lot of time with her, bought her gifts, cooked for her, and hang out with her to make sure she feels loved. But soon, she started complaining that she actually had a horrible time and was mistreated by my partner. To make matter worse, a year and half after I left home for the last time thinking that I would never go back, my parents promise to buy me a flat (and started to pressure me to get married). I accepted the flat, thinking that it would offer stability and freedom (pushing away the past experience of their emotional neglect and abusiveness). Sure enough, the flat became yet another way for my mother to mess with my life. It had daunted on her that I am about to become my own person and live in the flat and start a family of my own, so she lashed out and said if my girlfriend lives there she would sue me and reclaim the flat. She then went behind my back and started disputing the flat's ownership. We have already spent a lot of time and energy planning the move and all of this is happening just 2/3 weeks from the move-in. I have a demand job that requires a lot of cognitive focus, and I feel like I am spending a decent chunk of my day trying to resolve the situation in addition to processing the emotional toll of having my own mother out to destroy my life. I know I have a job, a family, and my own life, and I have a good legal case, but I also feel so unsafe, violated, and confused. I can almost feel the voice in my head telling me that this is all my doing, and that I am too weak. It is like I know what I need to do cognitively but emotionally I am paralysed. Do you think what I mean? What would you do?

I'm (F) currently seeing a woman (F) who identifies as BI. I identify as a lesbian, but i first had come out as BI. Which leads me to wanting to understand her side or it, and also know if their is hope for us.
For instance she has told me she could never have a long term relationship with a woman, because she feels she can never fully let herself go. With a man she can be physically vulnerable, and have the man be as they are, protective and offer safety. (Her words)
When she is with a woman, she likes to express her masculine energy, and offer what she would want with a man. She has said, she never fully connected with a woman before emotionally, and when she has sex with one it's purely for that. Sex. She has also never had a relationship or fallen for a woman before, because it has always followed the same pattern, with the end result sex.
With a man it's the opposite she sees herself long term, and has also expressed that in a perfect world she'd have both at the same time.
I would like to know, is there hope she would be open to a long term relstionship? I can feel myself falling more and more for her, and I think she is feeling the same way from what she has expressed, but not sure if it's on the same level. I will eventually communicate my deep emotions with her, but it's still in the early phase.
This isn't my first dating experience with a woman who is BI. The last woman I was in a relationship was BI.

I'm (F) currently seeing a woman (F) who identifies as BI, as do i but it seems she has a different definition then I do. Which leads me to wanting to understand her side or it, and also know if their hope for us.
For instance she has told me she could never have a long term relationship with a woman, because she feels she can never fully let herself go. With a man she can be physically vulnerable, and have the man be as they are, protective and offer safety. (Her words)
When she is with a woman, she likes to express her masculine energy, and offer what she would want with a man. She has said, she never fully connected with a woman before emotionally, and when she has sex with one it's purely for that. Sex. She has also never had a relationship or fallen for a woman before, because it has always followed the same pattern, with the end result sex.
With a man it's the opposite she sees herself long term, and has also expressed that in a perfect world she'd have both at the same time.
I would like to know, is there hope she would be open to a long term relstionship? I can feel myself falling more and more for her, and I think she is feeling the same way from what she has expressed, but not sure if it's on the same level. I will eventually communicate my deep emotions with her, but it's still in the early phase.

I liked someone in university for 4 years, at the end of those 4 years my parents went to her house to formally ask for her hand in marriage. Even though there were glaring differences in our families in terms of education and culture (were from the same country and live in the same country as well but her family is much wealthier than mine while mine is more focused on education), I still convinced them and they accepted because it was my choice and they wanted to honour it. However, there wasn’t an enthusiastic response and after a couple of weeks passed during which my mother regularly checked up on them, they refused, citing that the istikhara wasn’t right.
A few months later the girl reached out again and said that they had done another istikhara and this time it was okay so they’d like to continue. I took some time to think. There was a lot going on, I had recently started my first job, I felt extremely overwhelmed, so I refused.
A year passed, and she reached out again to ask if we can reignite things and start the marriage process again. I told her that since I’d gotten my parents to try a few times and they’d been met with discouraging attitude, I would not be asking them to contact again. If she’s truly willing then she should get her parents to contact. Her mother called and when my mother asked about all their doubts and stuff, she completely denied ever saying any of those things and exhibiting that behaviour. My mother asked her to think about it some more and then get back to her after that. She didn’t call back. 4 months passed, during which I had no contact with the girl, and my family was intently busy in some emergencies as there were close relatives who had surgeries.
Finally, last week my mother called her’s to see what to do about this. We found out she’s going abroad for her masters in 3 days but they still came over to say yes. In the middle of these 3 days, our mothers talked once more to set up the meeting during which some harsh words were exchanged. When they were over, her father asked about those things very harshly as well, however my family handled that and cooled them down.
Today, a week later, she messaged me to say that her heart is not at peace and she can’t do it and it doesn’t feel the same to her as it used to. And that it was a hasty decision and she’s sorry. I asked her to give it some time and think about it, she refused and said her decision is final and cannot be changed.
I feel like my world has shattered, just when I thought everything I wanted was in my grasp, it has been snatched away. My heart feels like it’ll explode, I can’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do anymore. For years, I thought I would spend my life with this woman, and now it’s all gone.
Please if someone has ever gone through something like this, please I need help. I feel broken and destroyed, how did you move on from this?

The world was dark, there was no sense of touch, and there was nothing to see. A sense of touch manifested, a cold and wet floor could be felt. A sense of hearing developed, a deep ringing could be heard. A sense of thought sprung from a mind. "Where am I?" A sense of sight had been acquired, he was in a room, white as far as the eye could see Movement was now possible as the man stood up, he realized that he was standing on water, so pristine and clear and yet there was no reflection.
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.

Hi, anonymous account due to privacy.
I'm at my wits end, I have been having these types of arguments with my now ex gf for the best part of 8 years. I come away feeling like an abusive monster, my self confidence battered, my entire personality in question. I need advice about whether she is right about the way I am, or if she's the one with the issue.
For the last 8 years or so these types of arguments started at least once a week and can last 3 to 5 days. This is a shorter one but the general feeling of this argument is identical to all others before it. Sure, there have been arguments before where I've been at fault, and her clearly at fault. I will admit to it if i do something wrong.
Please can someone settle my mind, one way or the other, and tell me if I'm really the monster she makes me out to be.
[01/06, 11:03] Me: Promised [son] I'd take him down seafront tomorrow and park. So can you make sure his earphones are packed, and if poss some suncream just in case? Hope you're OK
[01/06, 11:03] Her: Shit. This is what I’ve been explaining that I’m going to keep him away from!
[01/06, 11:03] Her: The noise
[01/06, 11:04] Her: This is why we are in today. He isn’t going to cope with the show. I took him last year and it was so awful for him
[01/06, 11:05] Me: Oh. OK. X
[01/06, 11:06] Me: Oops sorry
[01/06, 11:06] Me: I won't then.
[01/06, 11:06] Her: No I’m sorry it’s not you it’s the stress I’ve had trying to sort out my family staying away and not dragging us down
[01/06, 11:06] Her: If you want to take him, then you take him
[01/06, 11:06] Me: He was quite excited about it the other day.
[01/06, 11:07] Her: Just will 100% make sure that I’ve packed his headphones, blankies and that
[01/06, 11:07] Me: But I understand. It's fine.
[01/06, 11:07] Her: Yeah sorry I am a bit stressed this morning
[01/06, 11:07] Her: No [myname] if you want to take him, that’s alright, he’s your son too
[01/06, 11:07] Her: I don’t make all the rules and run everything
[01/06, 11:07] Me: No I didn't want to make it harder for you dealing with it before or after.
[01/06, 11:08] Her: You got a brain….Just make sure he’s actually alright down there and not struggling with the sensory. It’s because it’s crowded and then on top of that with the plane noise
[01/06, 11:08] Her: They practiced yesterday and he shit himself here
[01/06, 11:08] Her: I asked him if he wanted to see the planes and he said no
[01/06, 11:08] Her: No I don’t want you to think I’m just telling you what to do
[01/06, 11:09] Me: No need to say things like I've got a brain, it isn't about that at all. I just said I won't take him because I'm trying to be considerate to you after you've said it'll screw him up. Again trying to come from a place of goodness and somehow I get it wrong
[01/06, 11:09] Her: I’m not at all. I probably didn’t explain it in the best way. Just had [son] going at me all morning. Fucking foul mood. He don’t want to go out.
[01/06, 11:10] Her: No I didn’t mean it like that
[01/06, 11:10] Her: Sorry I’m not doing this. I’ve just bloody explained how I didn’t mean anything by any of that
[01/06, 11:12] Her: No I know you’re coming from a place of kindness. But
[01/06, 11:12] Her: I’m not going to feel like I’m bossing you about, because of the way I wrote my message
[01/06, 11:13] Me: Can't you stop and think for a second that I wrote that WHILE you were writing
[01/06, 11:13] Her: Yeah
[01/06, 11:13] Her: I said sorry.
[01/06, 11:17] Me: You've just made me out to be horrible again, saying things like "not doing this". When all I did was try to be nice. And when I try to reply you send a dozen messages and everything just gets mixed up. I wasn't being horrible or anything in the first place. I'll leave you be, but please bear in mind i wasn't being horrible or funny or anything at all and I wasn't "doing this". Hope you manage to settle down a bit and he behaves better.
[01/06, 11:17] Her: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to
[01/06, 11:18] Her: I think some times that’s a anxiety response
[01/06, 11:18] Her: Yeah and you know what else.. I am me. I send a lot of messages. I own that. Certainly won’t change
[01/06, 11:19] Her: That’s good you’ve probably got other people to talk to now as well. Pleased for you.
[01/06, 11:20] Her: Also can I just say, your message, is a pure example of what I went through last year. When I didn’t say anything wrong.. and I got told very often that you’re not ‘doing this’ now. Hard isn’t it when you read that? Welcome to the world I lived in last year.
[01/06, 11:20] Her: Funny isn’t it, when you’re wanting to talk to me and be with me.. you made sure you were messaging about [son] frequently. Now your head is turned, you’ve not really asked
[01/06, 11:38] Me: Pardon? I do ask about [son]. I've been busy as hell at work as it's half term, haven't been able to ask much at all. I asked yesterday about him. I saw him the day before that but asked about him that evening. I haven't really had a chance today because when I messages about tomorrow a different discussion started. So I don't know where you get your idea of that from. I didn't do anything at all tbh.
[01/06, 11:38] Her: I did say, that I didn’t mean to come across like that. You chose not to listen
[01/06, 11:39] Her: No no that’s fine
[01/06, 11:39] Her: I see what’s going on here tbh. It’s just so you. Find someone else to talk to, instead of healing and that, suddenly change energy and moan to other person about me 👌🏻
[01/06, 11:39] Her: That’s fine do what you want. If it’s true cool, if it’s not, okay 🤷🏻‍♀️
[01/06, 11:40] Me: It's actually a bit hurtful that you said about me not asking about [son].
[01/06, 11:40] Me: Huh what are you talking about
[01/06, 11:40] Me: You've completely lost me. What I'm doing here? What?
[01/06, 11:41] Her: It really dosent matter
[01/06, 11:41] Me: It's so me? I am utterly lost. You're making me out to be doing something and I really don't know what
[01/06, 11:41] Her: Yep course it’s hurtful. Everything what comes out my mouth is hurtful to you.
[01/06, 11:41] Her: I read energy
[01/06, 11:41] Her: You got someone else to talk to
[01/06, 11:41] Her: Hence why I don’t hear from you no more
[01/06, 11:41] Me: Have i? Who?
[01/06, 11:41] Her: Good for you
[01/06, 11:42] Me: What?
[01/06, 11:42] Her: Probably some woman who thinks you’ve been done wrong by me
[01/06, 11:42] Her: And she’ll tell you all the ways that you weren’t in the wrong. And I’ll be slagged off. Which is fine by the way.
[01/06, 11:42] Me: I haven't spoken to anyone other than my mum on messenger! And it's been super busy at work so I've not been on my phone!
[01/06, 11:42] Her: 🤷🏻‍♀️
[01/06, 11:42] Her: Just saying
[01/06, 11:42] Her: Didn’t say I was right
[01/06, 11:43] Me: My mum came down here yesterday on a coach trip and I met her at lunchtime
[01/06, 11:43] Her: That’s really nice I’m pleased
[01/06, 11:43] Her: I’m glad you saw ur mum
[01/06, 11:43] Her: Is she ok
[01/06, 11:43] Me: No you're not bloody right. But you're making me out to be doing something that I'm not.
[01/06, 11:43] Her: I did just say.. I could be wrong
[01/06, 11:43] Me: You're telling me what I'm doing. When you're wrong.
[01/06, 11:43] Her: Fair enough
[01/06, 11:43] Her: Listen to me
[01/06, 11:43] Her: I said I could be wrong
[01/06, 11:44] Her: I did originally say I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sound d like I was telling you what to do with [son]. But you managed to make something out of it by saying I didn’t need to speak like that. I’m well aware.. hence the messages before of me apologising..
[01/06, 11:45] Her: What annoys me is.. you having such a shit reaction to me saying I’m not doing this now. When I really did get laid into when I got upset for saying the same thing last year??
[01/06, 11:47] Me: Right so like I said before, I was writing my message out WHILE you were writing more messages. Hence me never being able to get any point or explanation across to you because by the time I say something you've already said more so what i say is either irrelevant or misunderstood.
[01/06, 11:48] Her: Okay
[01/06, 11:48] Her: Same
[01/06, 12:03] Me: I always try to read what you say. But it's not my fault if i can't write a relevant reply back before you've written multiple messages since I started. I had absolutely no issue with you at all and I've just been made out to be doing all sorts this morning and it's just not fair because I haven't done anything.
[01/06, 12:04] Her: I have adhd. I’m not explaining myself again
[01/06, 12:04] Her: I said you hadn’t done anything
[01/06, 12:04] Me: Not asking yourself to. Just explaining what it's like my position. Or am I not allowed?
[01/06, 12:04] Her: I just said I felt bad for coming across bossy. I dunno you apologise for the way you are, and it’s still not enough 😎
[01/06, 12:06] Her: Can we just stop
[01/06, 12:06] Her: We’ve both explained
[01/06, 12:06] Her: We both understand. Let’s not keep trying to get our last word in
[01/06, 12:06] Me: I know I apologise for the way I am and it's not enough. Never is. I understand you apologised.
[01/06, 12:06] Her: See now you repeating my messages back to me. Heal your shadow self.
[01/06, 12:06] Me: Yes I'd like to stop.
[01/06, 12:06] Her: Trust me
[01/06, 12:06] Her: Ok. I won’t message you again then
[01/06, 12:07] Me: Huh? You literally just said I apologise and it's not enough. I was just agreeing.
[01/06, 12:07] Me: This has nothing to do with healing myself I literally haven't done anything wrong.
[01/06, 12:12] Me: Fine, blame me for it all and blank me as if im the evil monster. Have a nice day. I didn't do anything wrong in the first place.
[01/06, 12:17] Her: Oh okay
[01/06, 12:17] Her: I haven’t blamed you for anything mr.
[01/06, 12:18] Her: I just apologised for perhaps coming across agressively. I’ve just spoken to [son], we are going to listen to the places from outside the front door. I mentioned about tomorrow with you, and he got a bit worried about the planes. So perhaps give me some credit for trying to encourage him to try. I do give you a lot of credit, and it’s often missed and forgotten about
[01/06, 12:19] Her: This whole way of you messaging is completely different tho to the person I spoke to the other day 🤔 just different eh
[01/06, 12:27] Me: How am I different? I'm just me. But you are the one that started this thing off by borderline insulting me and I'm supposed to just lie down and take it? Then I'm a shit person for trying my best to explain myself? I havent said a single bad thing about you yet I'm getting accused of being different? When I've explained to you, work has been super busy. I get the feeling, and have pretty much had it spelled out that you don't want to hear from me anyway so I can't exactly keep bombarding you with messages can I? Because then I'll just be annoying and you'll get pissed off hearing anything from me. I have literally done nothing wrong this morning. I react to your messages which are semi aggressive and your accusations towards me and I get told I'm being shit basically. All I wanted was to ask about [son] about tomorrow and I even said I hope you're OK. Was not being any different to anything, at least until i started having to explain myself.
[01/06, 12:31] Her: Honestly is that the best you have? I apologised. You’ve just kicked in back in my face. I choose not to engage in this back and forth. You need to learn to read, and also take knowledge in what I say to you.
I told you I apologised.. I said I am very stressed this morning. Very. But still you have told me yet again I was agressive.. we know? I’ve said that? Why keep telling me? My apology not good enough?
[01/06, 12:31] Her: Ending this conversation now tbh. I don’t need to be continuously told that I’m such an awful person. I’m really not. Not at all. I’m one of the good ones :)

The world was dark, there was no sense of touch, and there was nothing to see. A sense of touch manifested, a cold and wet floor could be felt. A sense of hearing developed, a deep ringing could be heard. A sense of thought sprung from a mind. "Where am I?" A sense of sight had been acquired, he was in a room, white as far as the eye could see Movement was now possible as the man stood up, he realized that he was standing on water, so pristine and clear and yet there was no reflection.
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.

okay this is gonna be confusing because i’m a bad story teller but for the sake of the story im gonna give my ex a fake name Beck (16 m) and i’m 16 (girl)
this is a very big ramble so my apologies
now me and beck became friends in january 2024 and right off the bat i told him i was bisexual because some people had issues with it and if he was going to have an issue with it id rather it happen now and not when we were better friends but he said he didn’t have an issue with it and it never rly got brought again other then small comments/jokes like sometimes id say something about being bi and he’d say “but you don’t rly know if you’re bi because you’ve never been with either of them” and i’d be like “yeah i do like how do you know you like girls? it’s the same thing” and we would drop it. (this is important i promise lol)
(another thing i feel like i need to say is that im assigned female at birth, but recently ive started to wonder if im trans, and atp im pretty sure i am im just scared because of my parents and other reasons but just keep this in mind)
beck started dropping hints that he had a crush on me and even started telling my friends that he liked me. i tried to be pretty up front with the fact that i didn’t like him like that and he seemed to understand and it was never brought up for a few weeks and then in feb/march ish i started to develop a crush so i told him because i wanted to be up front about it and he said he did like me and we decided to go slow with it because it was just new and we started dating mid march (it was rly fast looking back at it)
looking back, beck had always been pretty standoffish about his sexuality, like he could joke about other people but no one was allowed to joke about his, because he was straight and he didn’t like it when people joked about it other wise, which was annoying because he was being hypocritical but i just wrote it off and ignored it because i thought i was being dramatic. now, around mid april i started realizing how uncomfortable it made me when beck would call me his girl and a woman and i realized i didn’t want to be his girlfriend but his boyfriend. i was scared to tell him because again he’d always been so adamant that he was straight and always seemed disgusted otherwise. i brought it up and he was just kind of quiet and said he’d love me anyway but then a few seconds later called me a girl again so i felt like he wasn’t really listening so i just tried to write it off again
a month ish goes by of me trying to explain my worries about us staying together with me being trans and how his parents would react and how he wouldn’t rly like it when i didn’t look like a girl anymore and he would always write it off and say it wasn’t a big deal and it would be okay. right before the two month mark of us dating i broke up with him because i just felt like we were too different and it just wouldn’t work with where the two of us were at right now because he wanted to have kids and get married and i really didn’t want that so i thought it would be best to end it before either of us got more involved in the relationship. beck pretty much obsessively texted me for around a week after i ended it and the majority of it was just him begging me to change my mind and saying he was sorry and he loved me and couldn’t live without me and that i was his only source of happiness. i’m not going to lie, i really could t take him seriously because we had been dating for barely 2 months, and only known each other for about 6 months. this behavior continues for days on end and he starts posting on socials about how he doesn’t care about anything and he starts vaping and skipping his classes which worries me because i don’t want anything to happen to him and it’s my fault he’s using so i was trying to fix it yk? all my friends said i was being stupid and needed to block him but i felt bad about it. i did eventually block him on some things, but i unblocked him because he asked me why i did it and i didn’t know what to say because i felt bad and thought i was being mean.
he also cried to anyone that would listen about how much he missed me and how he couldn’t eat or sleep. he called a few of my friends and just cried and would be upset if they didn’t answer him.
a few days go by and he’s kind of calm down on the begging and we kind of start to be friends again and he keeps asking me why i didn’t want to try and fight for our relationship because in his words “if i actually ever loved him i would’ve fought for him”
i tell him that it just wouldn’t work out because (among other reasons that are personal) i want to be a guy and that he’s straight and doesn’t like men and beck said “well it wouldn’t even be gay anyway” which was whatever i just kept reiterating that i want to be a guy and he said that he wanted me, as his gf or as his bf, that he didn’t care and that i wouldn’t even really be a guy anyways, that i would always be a girl. that stung, im not gonna lie, but whatever. i ended up asking him the if he was straight, because if he said yes i was going to say “you can’t be with me and be straight because i’m not a girl. i’d be your boyfriend you’d have a boyfriend. not a girl” but then he says “actually i’m bi”
yall. when i tell you my jaw dropped i mean my jaw DROPPED. i was like wtf you were literally ready to fight ppl over calling you gay as a joke.
i asked him if he actually was or if he was just telling me that because it was what i wanted to hear and he said no that he really was so i believed him because i didn’t have a reason not to and he asked if we could get back together and i said no, because of the transphobic things he had been saying and just the way he treated some of my friends bothered me, and he seemed upset and just said agin that if i really cared i would’ve tried to fix it and that i was only hurting myself and i said that i was fine and we have only spoken in short convo since then, which was like a week ago
i know none of this probably makes sense but i need someone to tell me if im being crazy and if i led him on and broke his heart for nothing because i feel rly bad. like maybe i should’ve ignored what i was feeling and let him be happy but then that wouldn’t have been fair to him because he deserves someone who loves him the way he loves and i can’t give him that
my friends and mom think that he is trying to manipulate me and lovebomb me but i don’t think that’s his intention
anyway thoughts are appreciated 😻
some notes in case my rambles didn’t make sense- i’m bisexual, basically everyone but my family knows because it wouldn’t be safe. to the general public, i’m a cis girl, but to my closest friends they know that im thinking about transitioning when it’s safe but i haven’t picked out a name or changed my pronouns yet, if that makes sense
as far as i know im the only one that beck has told he’s bisexual . actually he said during the last convo that he told me he had dated a boy before me but i cannot recall that convo at all?? which doesn’t mean anything but i feel like its worth noting
keep in mind we have only known each other since january and began dating mid march to mid may, so this all happened in the span of 5 ish months. very teenage angst i would think
(i didn’t really proofread so im sorry for bad grammar or mistakes )
View Poll

Okay, so she is my BF mother (we're not married, together for 6 years) and we have had a rocky relationship over the course of me and my BF seeing each other. In the beginning, we got along cordially but were never close. Long story short, we have had a few issues where she would tell my BF things about me that she didn't like and I would try to talk to her about them as to keep the relationship cordial. She always denied the things she'd say and tell me she "loves me." Actions spoke louder than words. For the last 2 years now, I have not spoken directly to this woman. We don't see each other, my BF keeps us separate and I don't get invited to his mom's side of the family events anymore - which is fine but I def bothers me since I did get along w them - just not her. Fast forward to now, I am 14w pregnant. She did not seem so excited initially, but now she is over the moon excited and giving advice to me and cant wait to see the baby - BUT she never says or expresses none of this to me only to my BF and she has my number and opportunities to talk to me directly (she comes by our house but stays outside).
It really throws me off because how can someone who refuses to talk to, see or acknowledge me directly be so excited and happy to see our baby? She offered to babysit after my maternal leave but to be honest I don't feel comfortable with that. Not until we have a conversation at the very least. I have not said this to my BF but he is always telling how she says this and that and it mind boggles me every time. I don't know if it's worth mentioning as I know she'd be a great grandmother but it still rubs me the wrong way.

u/AbleismIsSatan, u/JamieIPrentice1, u/Blopblop734
G3307 μερίζω (merízō): to apportion, to divide, to disunite
G3308 μέριμνα (mérimna) from 3307: the state of being concerned and preoccupied, through the idea of distraction
G3309 μεριμνάω (merimnáō) from 3308: worry, concern, preoccupy
G3309 appears 19 times in the NT.
NIV Matthew 6:

25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry [G3309] about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.

The same Greek word is translated as "anxious" in English Standard Version:

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Luke 10:

41 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried [G3309] and upset about many things"

But then, the same Greek lexeme appears in 1 Corinthians 7:

32 I would like you to be free from concern [G3309]. An unmarried man is *concerned * [G3309] about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord.

It is not a sin to concern G3309 about pleasing God.

33 But a married man is concerned <3309> about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned [G3309] about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned [G3309] about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

The English concept of worrying is not a good thing. The Greek original concept of G3309 is ambiguous. It could mean worry or concern, or it could be a good thing.
Is worrying or anxiety a sin?
That depends on whether you are worrying negatively or are concerned positively about something.
How to deal with negative anxiety?
Practice peace as a way of life. Philippians 4:

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious [G3309] about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Look to Jesus. Focus on the Paraclete who dwells in you. He is your peace. Instead of dealing with anxiety on a case-by-case basis, practice the general solution of growing your faith daily. The more you grow spiritually, the less you will experience negative anxiety.

11/20/2017
Log book of Det. Ryan Snow
Case #2798: The Appalachian Murders
When I woke up, I was in such a haze that I couldn’t make out where I was at first. My vision was a blur and all I could hear was the sounds of rushing water. I tried to move my limbs, but each muscle down to my little finger felt like lead weighing down on me, making it hard to breathe.
It felt like forever before the ringing in my ear was slowly swallowed out by a voice crying out from what sounded like a distance only to grow louder as it seemed to approach me from the void I had woken up in. It wasn’t until I heard my name that I recognized it was Kate’s voice, pleading and filled with tears.
I blinked away the blur, finding myself staring up at a water damaged ceiling, a single yellow light brightening the room. My head was pounding and my body still felt heavy, but I moved my head enough to turn and see where Kate was calling from. It took a moment, but I soon realized that she was lying on her back, strapped by her arms and legs to a metal table, looking to me with wide terrified eyes.
“Detective, please help!” She cried out. “Please don’t be dead! Please help me!”
“Bl-Black…Well…” I groaned out as I tried, painfully, to pick myself up off the stone floor, “Black…Well… Ah… Shit… Shit! Ms. Blackwell-“ I was gaining consciousness minute by minute as I finally took in the situation and got to my feet. However, the moment I had gotten to my feet and began running to Kate only to immediately fall back to the floor once again, my ankle getting caught by something heavy. I turned to see my ankle had been shackled to the floor by a cuff and chains. I searched my person to find my coat, along with my Glock had been taken, blood decorating my pants and sleeves. I placed a palm to my forehead to find blood when I lowered it down to look at the warm liquid slithering down from my scalp.
“Ms. Blackwell,” I returned my attention to her, examining what I could from my place on the floor, “are you alright, are you hurt?”
“I… I… I don’t… Don’t think so…” she managed to whine out.
“Where’s Mr. Raines?”
To this question, Kate looked away from me, sobbing being her only verbal response.
I went back to the shackles on my ankle and began trying to yank the chains off from the floor, but they had been well maintained and were too strong for me to simply yank out of the stone. I then quickly looked around the room to find we were in a different basement from the one in Cabin #3, though it had the same kind of layout, the table the only major difference. I also took note of the blood stains that trailed from the sides of the table and the dried pools below.
“I want my mom!” Kate cried out, her voice echoing in the empty room.
“I’ll get you to her, I will, I promise,” I assured her, trying to find something, anything to get us out of this, “do you remember how we got down here?”
“I… I… I just re-remember… Remember you g-getting knocked out… Knocked out by someone and them… Them putting a rag over me… Then everything went black… Then I woke… Woke up… H-Here…” Kate answered, trying to breathe with each sob she let out. “I… I th-thought… y-you… You were d-d-… Dead!”
“I’m not, I’m very much alive and I’m going to get you out of here and back to your parents,” I vowed as I continued looking for a way out of this situation, “we’re going to get you out of here, get you home, and we’ll make sure no one ever gets hurt here ever-“
The sound of the basement door from the splintered wooden steps cut me off. I listened as feet descended down the steps to the basement below, Kate’s ragged breaths the only other sound. The person who came down was a woman. The same exact woman from the photo I had found in her house. She looked as if she had not aged since that photo was taken, despite how long ago it seemed the photo was taken. She had the same exact long, white hair, same tired looking eyes, and same disgustingly pale skin as in that photo and on her profile picture. It was Mrs. Larson.
“Deeeeeetectiiiiiiive,” she spoke in a hoarse voice mixed with what I assumed was her own and several others, both male and female, adult and child, “youuuuuuu shouuuullld haaaaaaaaave juuuuuuusssssst giiiiiven herrrrrrr toooooo meeeeee… Youuuuuuuu diiiiiiiiid nooooooot haaaaaave toooooooo ssssssseeeee thiiiiiissssss…”
“Fuck you!” I shouted, beginning to charge at the elderly woman only to be yanked back by my shackles. “Let us go, right now!”
“Nnnnooooo,” Mrs. Larson replied harshly as she stepped over to loom over Kate.
“Stay away from her!” I barked, trying desperately to break free of my shackles.
She ignored me as she ran a shaky hand down along Kate’s trembling face. “Ooooooooohhhhh, Kaaaaaate… Sweeeeet, sweeeeeeeet, Kaaaaaaaaaate…” Mrs. Larson cooed as she went on stroking Kate’s wet cheek. “Doooooo noooooooot crrrrrrryyyyyyy, dooooooonnnnnn’t thiiiiiiiiiinnnnk oooooofff iiiiiiiit aaaaaaaassssss dyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnng, thiiiiiiiiinnnk ooooooooffff iiiiiiit aaaaaassssss ssssssssaaaaaaaaaviiiiiiinnng aaaaaannnnoooootherrrrrrrrr liiiiiiiiife.”
“I-I… I d-don’t… Don’t under-understand… w-what th-that… That m-means…” Kate cried, her hands gripping the sides of the metal table beneath her, “P-Please, d-don’t… Don’t kill me… L-Let… Let us-us go!”
“Nnnnnoooooo,” Mrs. Larson answered in the same harshness she used on me, “IIIIIIIII neeeeeeeed youuuuuuuuuu,” she then shot a death glare my way through tired, silver eyes, “aaaaaaaannnnnnd heeeeeeeeee’ssssssss beeeeeeeeeennnnnn nnnnnnnoooooooothiiiiiiiiinnnnnng buuuuut aaaaaa thooooooorrrrrrnnnn iiiiiiinnnnn myyyyyyyyy ssssssssiiiiiiiide siiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnccccccce youuuuuu eeeeeessssssscaaaaaaped meeeeeeee.” She then looked back to Kate with a softer look. “Aaaaaaaassssss fffffoooooorrrrr whaaaaaaaat youuuuuuu caaaaaannnn’t uuuuuunnnnnnderrrrrrssssssstaaaaaaannnnnnd, IIIIIIIIII nnnnnneeeeeeed yourrrrrrrrrr heaaaaaaaarrrrrt tooooooo ssssssssaaaaaavvvvvvve myyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiisssssssterrrrrrrr.”
“The fuck does that mean?” I demanded, still trying to vain to pull my ankle from the chains. “How the hell will Kate’s heart save your sister?”
“Diiiiiiiiidnnnnnn’t nnnnnnneeeeeeed toooooo beeeee Kaaaaaaate’sssssss,” admitted Mrs. Larson, “buuuuuuuut sssshhhhhheeeeee hiiiiiiiiid theeeeee ooooooootherrrrr giiiiirrrrrrllllll ffffffrrrrroooooommmmm mmmmmeeeeee.”
“S-Son… Sonja…” Kate sniffed, the tears still streaming down her face.
“IIIIIIII oooooooonnnnnlllllyyyyy neeeeed fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllle,” Mrs. Larson dismissed Ms. Greymoore’s name, “ffffffeeeeeeemmmmmaaaaaallllle heaaaaaaaarrrrrrrtsssss toooooo rrrrrrreeeeeetuuuuurrrrrrnnnnn mmmmmmyyyyy ssssiiiiissssssterrrrrrrrr toooooo theeeeeeee giiiiirrrrrllllll ssssshhhhhheeeee uuuuuuuusssssed tooooo beeeeeee.”
“That’s a fucking joke right?” I asked. “The hell makes you think eating a female heart will turn your sister back into a human woman? Have you seen what’s happened to your sister?”
“IIIIIIIII knnnnnnnooooooow beeeeeeecaaaauuuuusssssse iiiiiiiiiiit wooooooorrrrrked ooooooonnnnn mmmmmeeeeee,” Mrs. Larson explained, “IIIIIIIIIII waaaaaasssss aaaaaaablllllllle toooooo reeeeeeetaaaaiiiiiinnnnnn thiiiiiiiiiisssssss huuuuuummmmmmaaaaaannnnn fffffffooooorrrrrrmmmm ffffffrrrrrooooommmm eeeeeaaaaatiiiiiinnnnnng theeeeeeee heaaaaaaaaarrrrrtsssss, sssssspecifffffficaaaaaaallllllyyyyyy fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllleeee sssssssooooooo IIIIIIIIII mmmmmmaaaaaayyyyyy rrrrrreeeeetuuuurrrrrnnnnn toooo beeeeeiiiiinnnng theeeeeeee giiiiiirrrrrrrllllll IIIIIII uuuuuuusssssed toooooooo beeeeeee.”
“You were dead,” I pointed out, “they found your body up here, you were buried.”
“Theeeeeessssssse sssshhhhheeeeeellllllsssss arrrrrrre mmmmmeeeeeerrreeeellllyyy veeeeeessssssellllllssssss ffffffoooooorrrrrr theeeeeeee sssssspiiiiirrrrriiiiiitsssss weeeee hiiiiiiiiiiide beeeeeneeeeaaaaattthhhh,” Mrs. Larson responded, finally turning her gaze to me, “IIIIIIII haaaaaaad tooooooo maaaake peeeopllllle beeeelieevvvve IIIIIII haaaaaad diiiiiiied tooooo keeeeeep frrrrroooommm theeeee poooooollllliiiiicccce ffffrrrrrrooooommmm pooookiiiiiinnnng aaaaarrrrouuuuuunnnnd aaaaannnnnd rrrrruuuiiinnnnniiinnnng eeeevvvveeerrrrryyythiiiiinnnng.”
“So, let me just get this whole thing straight,” I began as I started rubbing my temples, "when you and your sister starting into… Whatever the hell that thing you call your sister is-“
“Ooooouuuurrrrr sssssspiiiiiirrrrrriiiiiit,” Mrs. Larson corrected.
“Whatever!” I shot. “You found out that eating female hearts turns you two back into human women and to keep police from suspecting you, you pretended to be dead and… What? Just hope a shitty real estate agency would buy your property and you could just… Kill people, people with lives and families outside the mountains?”
“Thaaaaaaaat iiiiiiisssss cooooorrrrrreeeeect…” Mrs. Larson admitted, narrowing her eyes at me.
That’s when I began laughing hysterically, holding my sides that hurt with each harsh breath of a laugh I took. Both Mrs. Larson and Kate looked to me as if I had lost my mind and at this point I was starting to believe I had. Everything I had seen and heard about this entire case would put anyone in the looney bin. And I’m the damn fool who dug too deep into something he had nothing to do with.
“Whaaaaaat’s ssssoooo ffffuuunnnny?” Growled Mrs. Larson, stepping around Kate to stand between us.
“I don’t know what’s fucking funnier, honestly,” I chuckled, running a hand through my hair, “the fact that you thing people won’t be poking around even more when they discover not only is Blackwell missing, but so is a detective and escaped convict all of whom now have ties to these fucking mountains and those cabins, or that you thing I’m more afraid of what you plan on doing with me more than I am when her father finds out I got her in this situation in the first place!”
“Heeeeeee wooooonnnnn’t beeeee aaaaabllllle toooooo doooo aaaaaannnnnyyyyythiiiiiinnnng aaaaaaafffffterrrrrrr IIIIIIIII’mmmmm dooooooonnnne wiiiiiiiith booooooth ooooooooffffff youuuuuuuuu,” Mrs. Larson hissed as she inched closer, “fffffffiiiiiiirrrrrrssssst, IIIIIIIII waaaaaannnnnt youuuuuuuu toooo waaaaaatch mmmmmeeeee kiiiiiiillllll herrrrrrr,” she turned her head to look to Kate who was now just shaking, her eyes seemingly gone dry from the crying, Mrs. Larson then looked back to me, “sssssseeeeecooooonnnnd, IIIIIIII wiiiiillllll ssssssaaaaave youuuuu fffffooooorrrr mmmmmmyyyyy sssssiiiiiisssssterrrrr, oooooonnnnne heeeeaaaaart wiiiiilllll nnnnoooot ssssssaaaaaatissssfffffyyyy herrrr huuuuuunnnnnger.” She took another step. “Uuuuuuuunnnnnllllliiiiiike sssssssoooooommmme ssssssiiiiiibllllliiiiiiinnnnnngsssss, IIIIIIIII caaaaaarrrre aaaaaaboooouuuuut mmmmmmyyyyy ffffffaaaammmmiiiiilllllyyyyyy.”
She stared into my eyes, expecting a reaction and while my blood did somewhat boil at the accusatory statement, I didn’t fully understand what she was getting at. Not until she used that voice. Not until she relived that day with those two familiar child-like voices.
“Screw you, Liam!” She cried out in a voice I remember from my childhood. “I hope you drop dead!”
“Stop.” I demanded.
“Piss off, Ryan!” She shot back in a second boy’s voice.
“I said stop!” I began shouting.
“Help me, Ryan! Please, help me! I’m sorry! Please, Lucky Dime, help me!”
I then lunged toward her, reaching my hands out toward her neck only to be stopped by the shackles as she swiftly, almost without even moving, stepped just out of my reach.
“Fucking bitch!” I screamed out.
“If only you really cared about me, Lucky Dime,” sighed Mrs. Larson as she turned and began making her way to the side of the room where a cart stood in the shadows. She pulled it over to Kate’s side, the cart covered in rusted medical tools.
“P-Please,” Kate wheezed, “p-p-please… I… I d-d-don’t w-want… Want t-to d-d… D-Die, I… I w-w-want m-m-m… My m-mom!”
“Dooooonnn’t woooorrrrryyyyy,” Mrs. Larson soothed, using that mix of different voices, “mmmmmmaaaayyyyybeeee sheeee wiiiillll cooooommmme loooookinnnng ffffooooorrrr yooouuuuu aaaaannnnnd sheeeeeee caaaaannnnn joooooiiiiiinnnn youuuuuuu.”
Kate began to sob, begging and pleading for Mrs. Larson to let her go, thrashing around in her restraints. Telling the older woman that there was no saving her sister and that she was too far gone for this sick ritual to work anymore. I tried to yank at the chains once more, trying to loosen it at least enough to break free and grab at Mrs. Larson.
“Rrrrrrreeeeellllllaaaaax,” Mrs. Larson ordered as she began filling a syringe with some kind of clear liquid from a small bottle, “yoooouuuuuu woooooonnnn’t eeeeeveeennn fffffeeeellll iiiiiiit, thiiiissssss wiiiiiillllll puuuuuut youuuuu toooo ssssssllllllleeeeeep aaaaaannnnnnd wheeeeeennnnnn youuuuuu waaaaaake uuuuuuuup, youuuuuuu’lllllll beeee iiiiiinnnnnn heeeeeaaaaaaveeeennnnn… Uuuuuunnnnnnnllllllessssss youuuuuuu weeeerrrrrrre aaaaaa haaaaaarrrrrlllllooooooot, iiiiiiinnnnnn whiiiiiiiich caaaaaassssssseeeee, mmmmmaaaayyyy Goooooood haaaaaaaave mmmmmmmmerrrrrrrcccccyyyyy ooooonnnnn youuuuuur ssssssoooouuuuullllll… Aaaaannnnnd baaaaaaasssssed ooooonnnn hoooooow youuuuuu drrrrressss aaaaannnnnd theeeee coooommmmpaaaannnnyyyy youuuuuu keeeeeep,” She added as she eyed me, “IIIIIII ssssssaaaaaayyyy youuuuu haaaaaave aaaaa lllllloooooot ooooooffff fooooooorrrrgiiiiiviiiiinnnnng tooooo dooooo.”
Kate continued to cry as Mrs. Larson pushed the needle of the syringe into her arm, pushing down on the plunger as it pierced the flesh. Kate’s loud screams soon turned quieter and her red eyes began to glaze over, but she continued to stay awake, tightening her grip on the table and still begging to be let go.
“IIIIII waaaaannnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch, Detective,” Mrs. Larson spat out my title in Mr. Blackwell’s voice, “IIIII waaaaannnnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch herrrrrr fffffaaaaaade aaaaaannnnnnd mmmmmeeeee rrrrreeeemmmmooooove heerr heeeaaaarrrrrt toooooo ffffffeeeeeed tooooo mmmmmmyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiissssssterrrrrr,” she then pulled out a recorder, “theeeeennnnnn wheeeeeennnnn IIIIIII ssssssuuuuummmmoooooonnnnn herrrrrrr aaannnnd sheeeee fffffiiiinnnniiiishessssss oooooofffffff heeeerrrrr heeeaaaaarrrrrt, youuuuuuu’llllllll beeeeee neeeeeext.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled, “I hope you and your sister burn.”
“IIIIIIIII’mmmmm gooooonnnnnaaaaa gooooo aaaaallllllerrrrrrt mmmmmyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiissssterrrrrr,” Mrs. Larson turned and began making her way to the basement steps, “ssssseeee youuuuu boooooth ffffffoooooorrrr diiiiiinnnnnnerrrrrrr.”
She then pressed the play button on her recorder and a small, little girl’s voice echoed in the room before Mrs. Larson vanished up the steps.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
Then the door slammed shut.
“De… Tec… Tive…” Kate squeaked out, her breathing slowing.
“Stay awake, Blackwell,” I ordered her gently, looking around frantically for anything to get us both out of this alive, “I’ll get us out of this, I promise, just stay awake, we’ll get out of here, I just need-“
“I’m… S… Sorry…” she breathed out. “I’m… So… Sorry… For… Get… Getting… You… In… To.. This…”
“No, no, this is not your fault!” I assured her. “That psychotic bitch got us both into this shit and I won’t stop until I get us out and put her and her fucking sister are six feet under!”
“W…Wha… What… H… Hap… Happened… To… To L… Liam…?”
I stopped struggling with the chains and turned to look to Kate. Her head was turned to me, her face wet, hands clenching as hard as they could to the table beneath her, the light in her eyes slowly fading second by second. She was trying desperately to stay awake. The medication Mrs. Larson taking hold of her as the minutes ticked by.
I dropped the chains that were in my hands, looking away from her, wanting to stare at anything other than another person I had failed.
“He was killed,” I answered, “we were fishing at a lake nearby… Lake Gaagige… We got into a really stupid ass fucking fight about how which fishing pole we were going to use. I wanted to use our dad’s, but Liam was older and said only men could use dad’s fishing pole… I told him… To drop dead and stormed off… When I got home, my parents dragged me back to the lake and scolded me for leaving him…” I trailed off, swallowing all the tears and screams I’d bottled up since that day. “When… We found… Him… The autopsy… Said he was mauled by a bear… I’ve blamed myself for leaving him there alone… For letting him die and getting killed like that… The last thing I ever told him was to drop dead… I was a shitty brother and now I’m a shitty detective…”
“Is… Is he… Why… You became… A… Detective…?”
I took a deep breath and swallowed the tears again. “No, Blackwell,” I answered, “he’s not why I became a detective… I already knew what had killed him… It was my fault… If I hadn’t been such a brat and stormed off… He might still be alive… And now… What that bitch said…” I replayed Liam’s screams that escaped Mrs. Larson’s mouth. “I’m starting to think I’m getting what I deserve. Karma’s back to kick my ass…”
“H… How… Old…?”
“I was six… Liam was eight…”
“N… N… Not your… F… Fault…”
I turned to look to Kate, her eyes on mine, however faded.
“Y… You were… Only… A k… Kid…”
I took another intake of what little air there was down in that basement. I had spent years trying to convince myself of the same thing, but those moments never got easier for me when those thoughts returned.
“I think you’re just being nice,” I laughed painfully, “but I’m afraid I- and my folks- don’t share the same sentiment.”
I was staring down at where the chains were coming from in the ground, Kate not saying a word for over a couple of minutes. I spun to see if she had fallen asleep and immediately tried to find out how to wake her up again. However, once I our eyes met, I saw that she was still fighting sleep, the last of her tears rolling down across the bridge of her nose and into her hair.
“I… I… I had… Had a c… Crush… O… On… J… Jasper…” she confessed, her voice getting quieter and higher. “P… Paul and… And Son… Sonja knew… I never… Never c… Cared f… For Luke… But I’m… Sure… S… Sonja t… Told him…” she looked like she was going to sob again. “I… I never g… Got the… Ch… Chance… T… To tell J… Jasper… I… Was… Scared… He… He and… P… Paul were friends… And I… I kn… Knew… How P… Paul f… Felt… A… About m… Me… I… I did… Didn’t wa… Want to… R… Ruin… Anyth… Anything…” She took a gulp of air. “I… I ha… Hated L… Luke… I… A… Always… Kn… Knew… He… He was a… Player… B… But Sonja… Said… Said she was hap… Happy… So… So I did… Didn’t wa… Want to g… Get in… H… Her way… B… But Luke d… Didn’t l… Like h… How cl… Close… We… Were… I d… Didn’t w… Want him to make… Make her th… Think I… I was l… Leading her o… On… T… To get them… To b… Break up… Th… Then… That n… Night… Sh… She w… Wanted to… To leave…” She let out two pained gasps of breath. “I… I let them down… I let them all down… Luke pro… Probably thought… Thought I w… Was the one who… Who f… Filled Sonja’s mind… With thoughts of… Of him ch… Cheating… Th… Then I… I got them… All killed…
I… I didn’t deserve them, d… Detective…” she went on, looking away from me to stare up at the water damaged ceiling, “I… I… I was a… Terrible… Terrible friend…”
“Did you read their guest book entries?” I asked.
“N… No… D… Didn’t w… Want to… To r… Read any… Anything p… Private…” Kate answered.
“Jasper didn’t blame you,” I assured her, remembering what he had written in his entry during his time watching Mrs. Larson just outside the cabin, “even when he heard the voices- when he heard Mrs. Larson- telling him to, he didn’t. I don’t think the others blamed you either. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ms. Blackwell, there’s no way you could have known any of this would happen.”
“K… Kate…”
“What?”
“C… Call… Call me… Kate…”
“Aright, Kate,” I let out what little laughter I had left inside me, “so long as we’re the last people we’ll be chatting with, call me Ryan.”
“R… Ryan…”
“If we at all live through this, I’m going to need a long vacation after this,” I said as I turned to look at my shackles again, looking around myself to try finding anything to Get free since a vacation sounded like something to die for at that moment, “do you know any good vacation spots I can book for the fall?”
“Y… You’re… You’re a… Dick…” Kate struggled to laugh.
“I also enjoy pineapple on pizza,” I winked as I reached down to my ankle, ready to break it just to taste that sweet combination of tomato sauce and fruit.
“G… God… I… I c… Can’t… Believe… I th… Thought y… You w… Were c… Cute…”
I sat down on the floor, grabbing my ankle with both my hands. Needing to hype myself up enough to do what I was going to do, I began removing my shoe and sock from the foot, rubbing and squeezing my way up and down the ankle to my toes. I had never broken a bone in my life before this and I definitely never thought I’d do it of my own volition, but this was a desperate time and it definitely called for desperate…
“Wait what?” I turned to look to Kate, finally registering what she had said.
However, just before I could be sure of what I heard, the sound of a hunting rifle going off just above our heads right before we heard the door to the basement swing open and immediately be slammed shut. Both Kate and I turned to see someone stumble down the wooden steps, his clothes torn and body scratched and cut to a nearly deadly degree. I was even shocked he was still breathing.
“M… Mr… R… Raines…?” Kate gasped out.
“What’s left of me at least,” Mr. Raines grumbled as he limped over to Kate and quickly began undoing her straps to the table, “damn thing almost ripped my head off, but one swing of the barrel to its eye and I was able to get away… Can’t say it didn’t do its damage though… I’m… Getting really fucking hungry…”
He shook his head violently before limping over to me. He then raised an eyebrow at me when he saw how I was positioned still on the floor with a bare foot in my hands shackled to the floor.
“I… I was… I… I thought you were-“ I stammered.
“I am,” Mr. Raines interrupted, “at least, I’m on my way there anyway.” He then retrieved my Glock from his back pocket. “I don’t know what that thing did to me, but I’m not gonna make it out of this alive, or the way I came in. It’s a massacre out there by the way. Lot of men in blue bodies out there… Very… Hard to ignore… Sure more will be on their way. So.”
With that, Mr. Raines pointed at my chains and pulled the trigger on my clock, barely giving me time to cover my ears as the sound rung out loudly in the basement. I shook my head, trying to undo the blurry and ringing side effects of the sound of a gun going off near your head. I gave the older man a glare before standing and snatching my Glock from his hands. That’s when I saw Kate shifting herself to the side of the metal table she was no longer tied to, trying to get her limbs to comply with her to help her off and on to the floor.
I ran over and grabbed her just as she nearly stumbled face first to the floor and lifted her up to her feet, her body heavy with lack of keeping herself up.
“Do you think you can walk?” I asked, trying to keep her on her feet.
“I… I don’t… I…” Kate stammered as she tried to push herself off of me while also using using me as a crutch until she could stand on her own. However, she didn’t seem to be able to put any kind of pressure on her legs without falling down.
“Kate?” A girl’s voice called out from above us.
Feeling Kate shudder, I realized that it must have been the sound of Sonja’s voice and Mrs. Larson was using her to keep Kate from running. I quickly swung my arm down behind her knees, pressing the other down on her back as I lifted her up off the floor, my Glock at the ready as I kept it pointed in front of me while my arm held up Kate’s knees.
“She must have heard the gunshots,” I pointed out, “how’d you get past her in the first place?”
“I set the other cabins on fire,” Mr. Raines answered as if it were the simplest of answers, “I had to distract her somehow and give those bodies she’d been eating a better fate than becoming her shit.”
“Are you planning on setting this place on fire too?” I asked.
“‘Course I am!” Mr. Raines exclaimed, seemingly offended I’d even ask. “I already doused it in gasoline, I ain’t wasting all that time!”
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice cried out, getting closer to the basement door. “Are you seriously leaving me here to die alone again!”
“Please… Make it… Stop…” Kate sniffed as she gripped my shirt and burying her face into the fabric.
“Let’s get you two out of here.” Mr. Raines began leading the way to the basement stairs, cocking his rifle as he did so.
“What about you?” I asked, immediately following after him.
Mr. Raines didn’t answer as he stomped up the stairs and kicked the door open to the first floor of the cabin. The stench of the gasoline he had spilled hitting me harshly in my face.
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice, along with a different crescendo of male voices shrieked out as Mrs. Larson appeared from the corner of the hallway where the basement was located.
“Leighton?” A different woman’s voice asked the moment the old woman’s eyes spotted Mr. Raines. I then watched in both shock and confusion as it almost looked like the very skin on the woman melted off to reveal a much younger woman. The woman I recognized as Bonnie Collins. “Leighton… Love is that you?”
Mr. Raines kept his rifle on the vision of the woman he once loved before her murder, but didn’t move or speak.
“Darling, I’ve missed you so much!” The fake Bonnie cried out as she began making her way to Mr. Raines with arms open wide to hug him.
Mr. Raines then lifted his gun up higher, placing his finger on the trigger which caused the vision to stop in her place.
“Leighton?” The fake Bonnie asked. “Baby, it’s me… Bun-Bun… Don’t you recognize me…?” She began to tear up.
“You’re not my Bunny,” Mr. Raines growled before he shot once at the woman.
The fake Bonnie swiftly dodged the bullet, an inhuman hiss coming from an unhinged mouth, revealing a row of long, sharp teeth. The skin of Bonnie then melted off to reveal another woman, a lot younger than the first one it intimidated. The face of one of the victims upon being brought on this case.
“Kate,” the fake Sonja called out, “Kate, what are you doing? Who are these men? Why are they trying to hurt me?”
Kate let out a sobbing gasp, her nails digging into my shoulder with her arm wrapped around my neck.
“Didn’t I suffer enough?” The fake Sonja asked. “First my boyfriend and now you? Why don’t you want to be with me anymore?”
“Shut up!” Kate demanded. “You’re not Sonja! You killed her, you killed all of them! I don’t care what happens to me, but I’m not letting their memories end with you!”
Kate then snatched my Glock from my hand under her legs and shot directly at the fake Sonja’s head. Again the shot missed as the fake vision of the girl slithered out of the way, a frustrated growl of a dog and human escaping it’s mouth. It then zipped to the side, cowering with its back to us on the floor.
“Lucky dime…” A child’s voice then took over. The vision’s skin melting now to a much smaller figure. “Is this what you want? To kill me all over again?” He turned to look up at me, Liam’s face forever eight-years-old staring up at me. “It’s no wonder mommy and daddy hate you now… You were always a shitty brother… Now, I’m gonna starve to death because you’d rather help a couple of strangers.”
“I’m sorry, Liam,” I replied, everyone, including the fake Liam looking to me in surprise, “I left you alone out here and that’s what got you killed by that thing out there and I’m sorry. But, if I’d stayed it may have been both of us and then mom and dad would have no one left to blame but each other. If you had left and I was the one killed, you’d probably be in my shoes instead. I’m sorry for letting you get killed, but I’m gonna make up for it now.”
I then took my Glock back from Kate and pointed it to the vision of Liam.
“Good bye, Liam.”
I shot the gun once again, missing the creature again, however, this time I just kept shooting, Mr. Raines following after. Our different bullets just kept firing, the thing dodging and trying to get closer to us. The creature screeched out at us in a myriad of different voices both familiar and unknown. It wasn’t until one shot from my Glock struck the creatures shoulder and Mr. Raines’ rifle struck its head when the skins of everyone it was trying to turn into all melted off, revealing Mrs. Larson once again.
However, this time, she looked shriveled, older than she looked before. Her face looked deformed, beginning to grow furry, her eyes growing nothing but red, no irises, no pupils, just red. Her hair grew longer, branches like antlers growing painfully out from her skull, breaking the skin as they grew larger. The lower half of her face grew elongated, turning into that of a muzzle of fangs and a drooling mouth.
“You… All… Have no rrrrrrriiiiiight!” A different, unknown voice snarled out from what used to be Mrs. Larson. “People liiiiiike you all… Abandoned me and myyyyyyyyy sister!” The fur growing around this thing grew out short and shaggy, the cloths it was using melting off with the skin and flesh it was wearing. It now didn’t look anything like a human woman. It now took the form of a large wolf mixed with that of a deer, it’s body dog-like with hooves, antlers, and a long, scraggly tail. “You lot abandoned us here! You left us all here to diiiiiiiie!”
Guilt was weighing down on me with each syllable it was growling. Kate looked away from it, burying her face in my neck as Mr. Raines lowered his rifle.
“Nooooow, you’re bringing more here to just leave and let die out here!” It went on, it’s horrifying, broken body shuddering. “Why let them just vanish and die up here when they can bring people like my sister and I back? Give me Kate’s heart and fix what you threeeeeeeeee failed!”
Mr. Raines then handed over his rifle to Kate, placing it down on her stomach as her hands were still wrapped around my neck. The older man made his way over to stand over the thing, its neck creaking like a rusted door as it turned its wolf-like head to look up at him.
“Leighton…” Bonnie’s voice came from the creature. “Give mmmmeeeee her heart aaaannnnd we can be togetherrrrr again… If you eat the deeeeeetective’s we can saaaaaave you tooooooo…”
“My Bunny’s dead,” Mr. Raines told it as he dug in his pocket and took out a carton of matches, “and so am I.”
“You’d burn your wife?” A mix of Bonnie and Mrs. Larson’s voices shrieked as it glared at the match he took from the match box.
“You’re not my wife,” Mr. Raines told it, “and I’ll never see her again.”
“Fooooooool,” Mr. Larson’s voice chuckled, “you’llllllll killllllll us both!”
“With the shit I’ve done in my life, I know you’re taking me to Hell with you,” Mr. Raines growled back as he struck the match on the box, “so I’m sure as fuck not afraid to burn here on Earth with you!”
Mr. Raines then dropped the match to the floor right before the creature and everything around the two of them immediately went up in flames, the fur of the creature catching quickly and engulfing it. An agonized shriek echoed out all around us, the creature thrashing in the fire it had gotten swallowed up in. Mr. Raines then grabbed it by it’s long, furry throat and swung it down back flat the floor, jumping to pin it down.
“Get out!” Mr. Raines cried out to me. “Leave here!”
Not needing to be told twice, I held onto Kate tightly and bolted past the two burning bodies, jumping over the fire as it began growing fast throughout the cabin. I quickly got to the front door and stopped to look back to see Mr. Raines fighting the creature and preventing it from coming after us, it begging for me to bring Kate back and that it would die without her.
“I’ll clear your name,” I called back, trying not to reel back in horror as I saw Mr. Raines skin begin to melt off, “I’ll let people know you didn’t kill Bonnie!”
“I’ll let people know you didn’t… Kill… Liam!” Mr. Raines’ voice called back, him thrashing around with Mrs. Larson as he said my brother’s name in my voice.
I turned back and kicked the front door open, rushing Kate out of the burning cabin. I ran until I got far enough from the smoke, turning back to see all three cabins now on fire, the area around them all ablaze. The only place untouched was Mrs. Larson’s house, all the evidence remaining. I could hear sirens in the distance coming closer. The sounds of shouts from the surviving officers sounding much closer.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
I looked to the front porch of Mrs. Larson’s house where her recorder continued to call out for her sister. I set Kate down at the base of a nearby tree and ran to snatch the recorder, shutting it off. I searched around, looking for any signs of Prudence, but it appeared that the fire and the sounds of sirens and voices had scared her off. I ran back to Kate, her eyes closed and her not responding to me calling to her, but after checking her pulse and breathing, I found that the medication Mrs. Larson had given her had finally taken over and she was now fast asleep, the rifle Mr. Raines gave her still sitting on her rhythmically rising and falling stomach.
Letting out a sigh of relief, I leaned against the same tree I set Kate down on and slid down to the ground next to her. The first two cabins were already practically nothing but ash, the last still blazing as I heard the slowly fading screams of Mrs. Larson and Mr. Raines coming from inside.
When the screaming ended all together, the smoke turning blacker as it rose from the flames, I got to my feet and took out my pack of cigarettes as I approached the fires, staying far enough away not to get burned. I opened the pack up before stopping myself as I reached for one of the ten remaining cigarettes inside. I then flung the entire carton into the fires without taking one.
“Save one for me down there, you old bastard,” I told Mr. Raines before making my way back to Kate’s side.
It wasn’t long before the remaining officers found us, looking in confusion at the fires and to me with a sleeping victim in a homicide case on the ground. I told them we’d need to call an ambulance for Kate and that we needed to keep the flames from getting to Mrs. Larson’s house as it held evidence on the case. One officer retrieved his radio and called for an ambulance while a group ran to the house and another went to try controlling the fire as best they could by yanking out any bushes near by and throwing them away from the area around the house.
Luckily, the fire trucks were called long before the fire spread too far, residence noticing it practically the moment Mr. Raines set the first cabin on fire.
As I sat there, keeping Kate held up against the tree we sat under, I listened to the crackling of the fire, the sirens of fast approaching fire trucks and the ambulance, and the sounds of distance, coyote, almost human, howling.

Hi.. so... I'm a mbbs student (24) in my third year still relying on my student loan financially. So here's the thing I met a girl outside my college She works in a private firm (she's older than me btw). At first I wasn't really attached to her or anything. But things went by and we had intimacy soon. I have fallen in love with her. She (from another state) however used to talk about her Ex (he's 33).. who was abusive and didn't treat her right. Her Ex is a hot shot and a goon.. has murder records.. not well respected in the society. After 3 months of relationship, we had a talk over alcohol and she revealed the truth behind her past.. The thing (it still hurts me) is She has a child with her ex (not her husband) and she delivered while she was just 16. (She's 27 now) She took care of the child until a few years back and handed over to the child's father's family and had come to work here. She works so that she can make money to continue her studies (which her ex never allowed her to).
I was in complete shock to hear this. I couldn't comprehend it. I was out of words
She then moved on to reveal that she never tried to get into a relationship with anyone thinking of her child(he's 12) but I felt different to her
She also talked about how her child's father is goofing around with other women right now and the child doesn't even know about it. The child's father's family who's been taking care of the child now doesn't let her take her child back. She wants to take custody of the child. But she's financially weak. The reason why she's working
She also said she's going to go abroad for working and will comeback in a few months to continue her studies. She wanna be a lawyer btw.
Please help. I know I'm not that great in storytelling but please I don't know what am I supposed to do here. I love her. She having a child doesn't bother me at all.. But since I'm a student I'm kinda feeling helpless rn. She means so much to me and I wanna help. She didn't
reveal our relationship or anything related to me
to her ex or friends fearing that he could harm me
It also haunts me that I had intimacy with a
woman who has a child of another man and we
weren't married. I feel bad for that child.
Please help me with my mental health

I’m currently rewatching the crown, just finished watching season 4. And I’m only talking about the show and plots in the show. Season 4 Diana is so complicated, she wants to be loved in her marriage but for lack of better word goes tit for tat with Charles. I have sympathy for Charles to a certain extent, but at the end of the day he flat out hated Diana. And I can understand his actions could be soul crushing to any woman. But to me,, Diana was almost forcing Charles to give her some type of attention and it was exhausting. She was begging for some type of love from the royal family but I think she was only willing to accept her version of love if that makes sense. I don’t think even if she had a personal relationship with the queen for example she’d be satisfied.

Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
When Kayla awoke, she found herself curled up on a couch in the Banshee’s infirmary. In the nearest bed, Thandi appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Across from her, Yak was hooked up to several scary looking tubes, but her vitals looked stable. Most of the rest of the beds were also filled. Another successful Valkyrie operation, Kayla thought, bitterly.
She didn’t remember the trip back from the planet. She did remember being told that nobody had found any sign of Rayker, and that memory kindled a little of the rage that never burned out. They had been through a nightmare for nothing.
“I wondered how long you would be asleep,” a voice said.
Kayla turned to see Christie sat on the end of her couch. Her friend seemed to be weighed down by sadness as she put aside the tablet she was typing on and smiled back at her.
“Wha— uh…” Kayla managed, as her stiff tongue flapped helplessly. She yawned and stretched.
“Twenty-three wounded in total,” Christie said. “Thandi will walk again in a week. Yak’s going to be in a coma for the next month. Fortunately, nothing struck her vital organs. And, by the way, one of the Raider squads was also involved in a friendly fire incident.”
Kayla focused on her, then looked away. “Jesus,” she said to herself. “God dammit.”
“Thandi wouldn’t like that,” Christie scolded. “Heathen.”
Kayla stood up and began to pace slowly as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I can’t believe I—”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” Christie said, “because you’ve been asleep for about ten hours. In the interim, I was able to speak with several Rangers about what happened. It was not your fault. Not entirely.”
Kayla shook her head. “Yes, it was. Oh, God, yes it was. I should have seen them, I should have had a stronger optic, I should have—”
“Corporal Rudaski misread her map. So did the leader of second squad. You were both actually in hall hotel-four. The base was constructed in a circular pattern of radially linked zones, orbiting a central facility. It’s a highly abstract layout that we have never seen before. Most Ranger battalions have spent the last several centuries clearing logical, grid-like layouts in ships and bunkers. Under fire, it is easy to see how confusion caused units to lose track of their positions as they advanced. Most of the platoons did, actually, at one point or another. And, in my opinion, we did not have anything like the troop numbers needed to comfortably secure that site. A consequence, no doubt, of Valkyrie’s failure to prepare and train for large scale deployments, for which there has been no requirement in at least a millennia, so they tell me.”
Kayla turned to her with a puzzled expression. “You figured all that out already?”
“I’m drafting a report on the matter. I can’t sleep, you see, because the flaws of this operation stem entirely from the task force’s desire to follow Rayker until she discovered the tracker. We found it in the central command chamber. It was sealed in a wrapping of fat and muscle tissue, which she obviously cut out of herself hours before the tamper alarm sensed the toxins of cell decay. She left it there for us to find. To taunt us, no doubt.”
Christie yawned deeply, stood up and brushed her sweater off. “Do you see, Kayla, that the intelligence team were making decisions based off of my actions on Ambrosia, when I planted that device?” She smiled bitterly. “And I had the arrogance to think I was outwitting the woman. So, in a way, it’s my fault.”
Kayla swallowed and slowly shook her head. Then she grabbed her friend and held her in a tight hug. “War sucks,” she said. “Everything about it is awful.”
“I agree. Nevertheless, we are drawn to it, like moths to a flame perhaps?”
Kayla released her and collapsed into the couch. “When I slept, I had a dream. I was in Plato’s cave, but I got free. Outside there was a dragon, burning everything in sight. The world was covered in ash, and the puppets casting shadows were dead bodies,” She wiped moisture out of her eye. “He said, ‘come out and play, little girl’.”
Christie nodded. “We were lucky nobody was killed today. Rayker will certainly cost us more blood before we manage to catch her. She could have set up a much stronger defense than a battalion of light combat drones, but she didn’t.”
Kayla reached into her pocket and found her necklace. She placed it over her head and ran a thumb over the engraved name.
She looked back at Christie. “Why not?”
“The freighter the Sirène caught was carrying several large combat walkers, produced by that plant. A deep space survey revealed that a second freighter had jumped away earlier. No doubt Rayker’s escape—she seems to have plotted a course opposite the star from where we stopped at the minefield. There seems to be no question that she had the main force of those machines with her.”
“Any idea where they went?”
Christie turned away to retrieve her tablet. “Not yet, unfortunately.”
“May the saints have mercy,” said a voice, “if a shot up woman cannot get a wink of sleep with all the talking in here.”
Kayla whirled around to see Thandi, sitting up in her bed. She darted over and grabbed her into a bearhug.
“I’m really sorry I got you shot,” she said.
“Yeah,” Thandi said looking pleased with herself. “And to apologize, you’ll be fetching me chocolate cake from the mess until I get out of here.” She lowered her voice. “Seriously though, Kayla, I need you. The food is terrible.”
Kayla chuckled. “You can count on me.”
“How are you feeling, wonder woman?”
“Oh, uh… not that wonderful to be honest.”
“Leaping tall structures in a single bound?” Thandi grinned admiringly at her. “You had a bit of a superhero moment.”
Kayla raised her eyebrows. “I tore half the muscles in my body. It was definitely not awesome.”
“Sure looked like it. I don’t even know how you do stuff like that. The Lord moved you.”
Christie cleared her throat and gave Thandi a significant look.
Thandi rolled her eyes. “It’s a compliment—I’m not diminishing what you did.”
Kayla returned her cheerful gaze with a flat expression. She had felt like everyone she cared about was about to die. Like her soul had been lit on fire, and the only way to put it out had been to move like a lightning bolt. It was not something she ever wanted to experience again.
“I was on probation for the incident on Ambrosia,” she reminded Thandi. “I will definitely be dropped back to private from now on.”
“Oh,” Thandi’s sparkling eyes darkened. “Well, that sucks. I hope they don’t. You straight up saved us all from an ambush at the start of that firefight. And the illume drone—you made lots of good calls down there.”
Kayla shook her head. “I shouldn’t be a team leader. I keep losing control. I can’t let… I don’t respond well when any of you are in danger.”
Thandi grabbed her hand, and squeezed it. “What happens to us is not up to you, my dear. It’s in God’s hands alone.”
Kayla didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure if she could accept that.
“How’s the pain?” Christie asked.
“Oh,” Thandi said and waved her hand. “Nothing too severe. I think of how Rose would be responding, and I know I can handle anything.”
Christie nodded silently.
“She speaks to me, in my dreams. She tells me how proud she is of us.” Thandi glanced at Kayla. “She says you are a true leader.”
Kayla turned away, unable to keep her eyes from tearing up.
“Will you be up in time for the merger?” Christie asked.
“On crutches maybe,” Thandi said. “But I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I can’t imagine anything more glorious.”
“What’s that?” Kayla asked before slowly turning back.
“The Banshee is returning to Tyr,” Christie explained. “On the way back, we have been tasked with collecting a probe that was observing a binary star merger. We will have the opportunity to observe the event live.”
“Whatever,” Kayla said with an eye roll. She was a little offended that their task force had been assigned a science project after what had happened. “Nerd stuff, right?”
Christie laughed, and met Thandi’s eyes with a smirk. “If you say so.”
Thandi shifted against her pillows. “How is the mood of the ship?” she said to Christie. “Are people still angry?”
“What do you mean?” Kayla cut in.
Thandi glanced back and forth between them. “You didn’t tell her?”
Christie waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, but with all that’s happening I didn’t think it pertinent. Why add to our already substantial burdens?”
“What’s going on?” Kayla demanded, and felt her hair stand on end.
Christie smiled tightly. “ODT Four seized the freighter and searched it thoroughly. No evidence of Rayker, as I said.”
“Yeah? And?”
“Well, they found a false compartment in one of the holds. And there were a pair of young teenagers inside. A boy and a girl.”
“In rags, and chained up,” Thandi added.
Kayla realized her jaw had clenched. She felt her skin crawl with a new kind of horror. “Oh my God,” she said, then glanced at Thandi. “Sorry.”
“In this case you get a dispensation.”
“Obviously,” Christie continued, “the pour souls will be returned to their families. A terrible situation.”
Kayla’s mind buzzed with questions. “What is—uh… where was it from? The ship?”
“Intaba,” Thandi said sullenly. “A VennZech registered vessel. Justice cannot come swiftly enough for the demon scum who perpetrated this evil on my homeworld…” she frowned as she lost her words, and clenched her fists together.
“Do you think Valkyrie will start interdicting their ships?” Kayla asked.
“No,” Christie said. “Hence the angry mood. It is a problem the organization has faced since humanity took to the stars. The chieftains have resolutely refused to address it. Our mission statement is to protect humanity, not interfere with their conduct. Frankly I have to agree with them, though I appear to be in the minority.”
Kayla stared at her incredulously. “But that’s bullshit,” she said. “How can you be okay with letting something like that go?”
Christie arched an eyebrow. “A secret army of super soldiers, with access to civilization destroying technology, and who answer—as far as we know—to nobody but themselves? The very thought of interfering gives me an existential crisis. However tragic the situation, it seems obvious that we must maintain our distance.”
Kayla shook her head. She already felt hot anger driving her to act. How could such monsters be allowed to walk freely in a just galaxy?
“All that it takes for evil to succeed—” Thandi began.
“Please can we not continue this conversation?” Christie snapped. “I’ve had enough of being insulted by some of my colleagues. I don’t want it from my friends too.”
Kayla exchanged looks with Thandi, but she owed her best friend the space she wanted.
“I promise, I won’t bring it up again, Chris,” she said.
***
Kayla ate in the ship’s mess then returned to her bunk, where the rest of the squad were waiting. They were talking in somber tones, but fell silent when she approached.
Kes stood up and beckoned to her. “Platoon ready room, this way.”
Once shut away in privacy, Kes sat her down and they retraced every event that had occurred inside the base. Every decision was picked apart minutely, with no judgement or grievance allowed.
“I needed us to go through this as soon as possible,” she explained. “This will sit with you for the rest of your life. We all made mistakes, but nobody should feel incriminated. I have been through five blue on blue incidents. This shit just happens, and I guarantee it will happen to you again in the future.”
Kayla felt a little relief as she spoke with her squad leader and found that she was neither alone, nor justified in hating herself. They had been moving quickly through a confusing environment, making a deadly situation much more likely.
“One last thing, though,” Kes added somberly. “Private Voigt from second squad fired the burst that hit Yak and Thandi. She is being removed from the battalion. By her own account, she returned Yak’s fire without any kind of communication with her team leader, or any attempt to check the position of friendlies. That was a major SOP violation when she knew they were expecting to move in our direction.”
Kayla absorbed this with shock. She couldn’t argue with it; after all, what good was a Ranger who couldn’t do her job? And didn’t that mean that the same punishment should apply to her?
She cleared her throat. Terror gnawed at her insides as Kes stared at her expectantly.
“I lost control again,” Kayla said.
“Yup,” Kes said, and rubbed her eyes with obvious frustration. “And this time, your actions swiftly ended a dangerous firefight following a terrible accident. Yak got immediate medical attention because of that. On the other hand, you put yourself in a position to be killed or wounded where no-one could help you.”
There was a long pause while the corporal appeared to search a distant horizon. “You don’t need a lecture, and Akane can’t make a decision on you. Yak was my next choice for Lance Corporal, but she’s out of action, along with a bunch of others. Together with this Rayker shitshow, it is not the time to be shuffling people around.”
Kayla’s brow furrowed “What about Ray?”
“Oh,” Kes ran a hand through her hair. “Every time I’ve offered it, she’s refused. Anyway, we’ve already been told by Captain Aguilar to expect a new private out of Ranger school once we return to Tyr.”
“Yes, Corporal,” Kayla said, unsure what to think about the decision.
“I’ve seen you make good decisions in the field. But I will push to replace you when the opportunity comes up again.” Kes narrowed her eyes. “Unless you can show me I’m wrong before that happens.”
Kayla left the room with her head spinning. She was keeping her job, even though she obviously didn’t have what it took to lead Rangers in combat.
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
When Kayla awoke, she found herself curled up on a couch in the Banshee’s infirmary. In the nearest bed, Thandi appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Across from her, Yak was hooked up to several scary looking tubes, but her vitals looked stable. Most of the rest of the beds were also filled. Another successful Valkyrie operation, Kayla thought, bitterly.
She didn’t remember the trip back from the planet. She did remember being told that nobody had found any sign of Rayker, and that memory kindled a little of the rage that never burned out. They had been through a nightmare for nothing.
“I wondered how long you would be asleep,” a voice said.
Kayla turned to see Christie sat on the end of her couch. Her friend seemed to be weighed down by sadness as she put aside the tablet she was typing on and smiled back at her.
“Wha— uh…” Kayla managed, as her stiff tongue flapped helplessly. She yawned and stretched.
“Twenty-three wounded in total,” Christie said. “Thandi will walk again in a week. Yak’s going to be in a coma for the next month. Fortunately, nothing struck her vital organs. And, by the way, one of the Raider squads was also involved in a friendly fire incident.”
Kayla focused on her, then looked away. “Jesus,” she said to herself. “God dammit.”
“Thandi wouldn’t like that,” Christie scolded. “Heathen.”
Kayla stood up and began to pace slowly as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I can’t believe I—”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” Christie said, “because you’ve been asleep for about ten hours. In the interim, I was able to speak with several Rangers about what happened. It was not your fault. Not entirely.”
Kayla shook her head. “Yes, it was. Oh, God, yes it was. I should have seen them, I should have had a stronger optic, I should have—”
“Corporal Rudaski misread her map. So did the leader of second squad. You were both actually in hall hotel-four. The base was constructed in a circular pattern of radially linked zones, orbiting a central facility. It’s a highly abstract layout that we have never seen before. Most Ranger battalions have spent the last several centuries clearing logical, grid-like layouts in ships and bunkers. Under fire, it is easy to see how confusion caused units to lose track of their positions as they advanced. Most of the platoons did, actually, at one point or another. And, in my opinion, we did not have anything like the troop numbers needed to comfortably secure that site. A consequence, no doubt, of Valkyrie’s failure to prepare and train for large scale deployments, for which there has been no requirement in at least a millennia, so they tell me.”
Kayla turned to her with a puzzled expression. “You figured all that out already?”
“I’m drafting a report on the matter. I can’t sleep, you see, because the flaws of this operation stem entirely from the task force’s desire to follow Rayker until she discovered the tracker. We found it in the central command chamber. It was sealed in a wrapping of fat and muscle tissue, which she obviously cut out of herself hours before the tamper alarm sensed the toxins of cell decay. She left it there for us to find. To taunt us, no doubt.”
Christie yawned deeply, stood up and brushed her sweater off. “Do you see, Kayla, that the intelligence team were making decisions based off of my actions on Ambrosia, when I planted that device?” She smiled bitterly. “And I had the arrogance to think I was outwitting the woman. So, in a way, it’s my fault.”
Kayla swallowed and slowly shook her head. Then she grabbed her friend and held her in a tight hug. “War sucks,” she said. “Everything about it is awful.”
“I agree. Nevertheless, we are drawn to it, like moths to a flame perhaps?”
Kayla released her and collapsed into the couch. “When I slept, I had a dream. I was in Plato’s cave, but I got free. Outside there was a dragon, burning everything in sight. The world was covered in ash, and the puppets casting shadows were dead bodies,” She wiped moisture out of her eye. “He said, ‘come out and play, little girl’.”
Christie nodded. “We were lucky nobody was killed today. Rayker will certainly cost us more blood before we manage to catch her. She could have set up a much stronger defense than a battalion of light combat drones, but she didn’t.”
Kayla reached into her pocket and found her necklace. She placed it over her head and ran a thumb over the engraved name.
She looked back at Christie. “Why not?”
“The freighter the Sirène caught was carrying several large combat walkers, produced by that plant. A deep space survey revealed that a second freighter had jumped away earlier. No doubt Rayker’s escape—she seems to have plotted a course opposite the star from where we stopped at the minefield. There seems to be no question that she had the main force of those machines with her.”
“Any idea where they went?”
Christie turned away to retrieve her tablet. “Not yet, unfortunately.”
“May the saints have mercy,” said a voice, “if a shot up woman cannot get a wink of sleep with all the talking in here.”
Kayla whirled around to see Thandi, sitting up in her bed. She darted over and grabbed her into a bearhug.
“I’m really sorry I got you shot,” she said.
“Yeah,” Thandi said looking pleased with herself. “And to apologize, you’ll be fetching me chocolate cake from the mess until I get out of here.” She lowered her voice. “Seriously though, Kayla, I need you. The food is terrible.”
Kayla chuckled. “You can count on me.”
“How are you feeling, wonder woman?”
“Oh, uh… not that wonderful to be honest.”
“Leaping tall structures in a single bound?” Thandi grinned admiringly at her. “You had a bit of a superhero moment.”
Kayla raised her eyebrows. “I tore half the muscles in my body. It was definitely not awesome.”
“Sure looked like it. I don’t even know how you do stuff like that. The Lord moved you.”
Christie cleared her throat and gave Thandi a significant look.
Thandi rolled her eyes. “It’s a compliment—I’m not diminishing what you did.”
Kayla returned her cheerful gaze with a flat expression. She had felt like everyone she cared about was about to die. Like her soul had been lit on fire, and the only way to put it out had been to move like a lightning bolt. It was not something she ever wanted to experience again.
“I was on probation for the incident on Ambrosia,” she reminded Thandi. “I will definitely be dropped back to private from now on.”
“Oh,” Thandi’s sparkling eyes darkened. “Well, that sucks. I hope they don’t. You straight up saved us all from an ambush at the start of that firefight. And the illume drone—you made lots of good calls down there.”
Kayla shook her head. “I shouldn’t be a team leader. I keep losing control. I can’t let… I don’t respond well when any of you are in danger.”
Thandi grabbed her hand, and squeezed it. “What happens to us is not up to you, my dear. It’s in God’s hands alone.”
Kayla didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure if she could accept that.
“How’s the pain?” Christie asked.
“Oh,” Thandi said and waved her hand. “Nothing too severe. I think of how Rose would be responding, and I know I can handle anything.”
Christie nodded silently.
“She speaks to me, in my dreams. She tells me how proud she is of us.” Thandi glanced at Kayla. “She says you are a true leader.”
Kayla turned away, unable to keep her eyes from tearing up.
“Will you be up in time for the merger?” Christie asked.
“On crutches maybe,” Thandi said. “But I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I can’t imagine anything more glorious.”
“What’s that?” Kayla asked before slowly turning back.
“The Banshee is returning to Tyr,” Christie explained. “On the way back, we have been tasked with collecting a probe that was observing a binary star merger. We will have the opportunity to observe the event live.”
“Whatever,” Kayla said with an eye roll. She was a little offended that their task force had been assigned a science project after what had happened. “Nerd stuff, right?”
Christie laughed, and met Thandi’s eyes with a smirk. “If you say so.”
Thandi shifted against her pillows. “How is the mood of the ship?” she said to Christie. “Are people still angry?”
“What do you mean?” Kayla cut in.
Thandi glanced back and forth between them. “You didn’t tell her?”
Christie waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, but with all that’s happening I didn’t think it pertinent. Why add to our already substantial burdens?”
“What’s going on?” Kayla demanded, and felt her hair stand on end.
Christie smiled tightly. “ODT Four seized the freighter and searched it thoroughly. No evidence of Rayker, as I said.”
“Yeah? And?”
“Well, they found a false compartment in one of the holds. And there were a pair of young teenagers inside. A boy and a girl.”
“In rags, and chained up,” Thandi added.
Kayla realized her jaw had clenched. She felt her skin crawl with a new kind of horror. “Oh my God,” she said, then glanced at Thandi. “Sorry.”
“In this case you get a dispensation.”
“Obviously,” Christie continued, “the pour souls will be returned to their families. A terrible situation.”
Kayla’s mind buzzed with questions. “What is—uh… where was it from? The ship?”
“Intaba,” Thandi said sullenly. “A VennZech registered vessel. Justice cannot come swiftly enough for the demon scum who perpetrated this evil on my homeworld…” she frowned as she lost her words, and clenched her fists together.
“Do you think Valkyrie will start interdicting their ships?” Kayla asked.
“No,” Christie said. “Hence the angry mood. It is a problem the organization has faced since humanity took to the stars. The chieftains have resolutely refused to address it. Our mission statement is to protect humanity, not interfere with their conduct. Frankly I have to agree with them, though I appear to be in the minority.”
Kayla stared at her incredulously. “But that’s bullshit,” she said. “How can you be okay with letting something like that go?”
Christie arched an eyebrow. “A secret army of super soldiers, with access to civilization destroying technology, and who answer—as far as we know—to nobody but themselves? The very thought of interfering gives me an existential crisis. However tragic the situation, it seems obvious that we must maintain our distance.”
Kayla shook her head. She already felt hot anger driving her to act. How could such monsters be allowed to walk freely in a just galaxy?
“All that it takes for evil to succeed—” Thandi began.
“Please can we not continue this conversation?” Christie snapped. “I’ve had enough of being insulted by some of my colleagues. I don’t want it from my friends too.”
Kayla exchanged looks with Thandi, but she owed her best friend the space she wanted.
“I promise, I won’t bring it up again, Chris,” she said.
***
Kayla ate in the ship’s mess then returned to her bunk, where the rest of the squad were waiting. They were talking in somber tones, but fell silent when she approached.
Kes stood up and beckoned to her. “Platoon ready room, this way.”
Once shut away in privacy, Kes sat her down and they retraced every event that had occurred inside the base. Every decision was picked apart minutely, with no judgement or grievance allowed.
“I needed us to go through this as soon as possible,” she explained. “This will sit with you for the rest of your life. We all made mistakes, but nobody should feel incriminated. I have been through five blue on blue incidents. This shit just happens, and I guarantee it will happen to you again in the future.”
Kayla felt a little relief as she spoke with her squad leader and found that she was neither alone, nor justified in hating herself. They had been moving quickly through a confusing environment, making a deadly situation much more likely.
“One last thing, though,” Kes added somberly. “Private Voigt from second squad fired the burst that hit Yak and Thandi. She is being removed from the battalion. By her own account, she returned Yak’s fire without any kind of communication with her team leader, or any attempt to check the position of friendlies. That was a major SOP violation when she knew they were expecting to move in our direction.”
Kayla absorbed this with shock. She couldn’t argue with it; after all, what good was a Ranger who couldn’t do her job? And didn’t that mean that the same punishment should apply to her?
She cleared her throat. Terror gnawed at her insides as Kes stared at her expectantly.
“I lost control again,” Kayla said.
“Yup,” Kes said, and rubbed her eyes with obvious frustration. “And this time, your actions swiftly ended a dangerous firefight following a terrible accident. Yak got immediate medical attention because of that. On the other hand, you put yourself in a position to be killed or wounded where no-one could help you.”
There was a long pause while the corporal appeared to search a distant horizon. “You don’t need a lecture, and Akane can’t make a decision on you. Yak was my next choice for Lance Corporal, but she’s out of action, along with a bunch of others. Together with this Rayker shitshow, it is not the time to be shuffling people around.”
Kayla’s brow furrowed “What about Ray?”
“Oh,” Kes ran a hand through her hair. “Every time I’ve offered it, she’s refused. Anyway, we’ve already been told by Captain Aguilar to expect a new private out of Ranger school once we return to Tyr.”
“Yes, Corporal,” Kayla said, unsure what to think about the decision.
“I’ve seen you make good decisions in the field. But I will push to replace you when the opportunity comes up again.” Kes narrowed her eyes. “Unless you can show me I’m wrong before that happens.”
Kayla left the room with her head spinning. She was keeping her job, even though she obviously didn’t have what it took to lead Rangers in combat.
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

England
Confusing situation. I have been walking a dog for an elderly lady. I have not known her for long, but was healthy when I met her. She has been in the hospital recently with a terminal illness. I have taken her dog into my flat with my wife, child and two cats. Not an ideal situation, flat is too small, no garden, cats are threatened etc.
She has asked me to take the dog. She does not want to send him to a shelter as he will be put down or not adopted for being large and reactive. I have promised to take him. My wife and I will have to move house in order to make space for him, but that's okay, we were thinking of moving anyway.
I mentioned to her in hospital we were looking for new places to live. The next day she asked me to come in and told me she wants to rent her house to me for free. It is a nice house and big enough for the family. She said she would leave the house to her niece with a clause that she has to rent the house to me. I told her that was a generous offer but I would have to speak to my wife and think it over. I do not know her that well and do not want to get involved with her will and her family. I'm not even sure if something like that is enforceable?
The next day she told me that she is no longer leaving the house to her niece and is instead leaving it to her good friend. Her niece did not agree to the plan, understandably. She probably sees me as some stranger trying to take advantage of her auntie. The lady was angry with her though and changed her mind, instead having her will changed to leave the house with her good friend. This woman would drive twice a week across London to clean her house, care for her and cook her food, not sure what their relation was, but she is a good lady. The niece on the other hand lives in Australia and has never been very involved with her. I understand why she would leave the house with the carer instead, but felt terrible that I had been embroiled in the situation.
I had not even had time to think about it properly nor had agreed. The offer is tempting, the house is decent, better than what we have, and it's free rent (or reduced rent), and we've been struggling a lot with finding a large enough place in our budget for the kid and the dog. This would solve our problem, but it would be very messy. The carer lady has agreed to uphold her wishes, but I'm not sure how we would go about it, or if she'd even keep to her word. My wife thinks she'll just turn us out within half a year and sell the house.
If I was to accept the offer, how would we go about it legally? Would the Will be able to enforce a tenancy agreement? She mentioned something about a Trust, not sure if that changes things? Can we sign a long term (3 year +) agreement with the new landlady that she can't break? Can we sign a long term tenancy agreement with the original owner before she dies and have it remain after her death?
Just looking for some advice on how feasible this all actually is. Haven't made a decision yet and not happy about getting involved in her family affairs, but it seems she's not really that close with her family (house was initially left to charity) and would prefer to help me and the carer lady who were a part of her life. Any help appreciated. Thanks.

The Context:

Silent Hill 2 is a 2001 psychological horror video game from Konami. A trailer was recently revealed for a remake of the game, with updated graphics and gameplay.
Angela Orosco is a character in Silent Hill 2. She is 19 years old, suicidal, and implied to be the victim of sexual assault by her father.
With the release of the trailer for the remake, some have noted changes to character designs and models — specially Angela’s.
Our drama begins when a user posts a screenshot of a reply to a tweet. The original tweet includes Angela’s redesigned model and a “non-woke” edited version. The reply tweet points out that the character is a 19 year-old sexual abuse victim.
Our drama spans over two threads as the new trailer and changes have sparked debate in the sub.

The Drama, Pt. 1

One user objects that the character isn’t real:

She's not real

so ?

So that's not a picture of a 19 year old abuse victim. The outrage isn't based on reality

it IS the picture of a 19 year old abuse victim FROM silent hill, just because she isn’t real doesn’t mean she doesn’t signify or carry a message from the real world

Silent Hill isn't real. The events in Silent Hill 2 never happened

[Continued:]

u really are close minded.. sexual abuse and people dying from diseases, depression, etc does happen irl

I never said that doesn't happen in real life. I said angela sn't real, silent Hill isn't real, and all the events that take place in silent hill 2 are a work of fiction, it's made up, it never happened.

Sure, but that's no reason to justify people reacting like they are. One cannot argue 'None of it's real' while also arguing 'these characters are important to me' or 'I want to invest in this series/game' because the point of the game is for you to immerse and invest in it. You're meant to care about the characters intrinsically, and not about 'what they do for you'. It's absolutely fine to be upset if some 15 year old idiot 'consoomer' whose first thought when he becomes upset about how a female in the game looks responds with "You want my money~! I am your demographic!" makes such an ignorant, room-temperature IQ take like this, and it's fine to let them know why.

I didn't say these characters are important to me. Real people who exist are important to me. People who get emotional about other people having opinions on made up characters must have some deeper issues. This is a subreddit for discussing a video game series, it's not Doctor Phil.

You don't seem to understand the concept of context very well

[Continued:]

The context is that you and some others don't like anything I've said because it hurt your feelings. I understand the context that you are implying, but I want you to find a way to say it before I go on

[…]

It's story telling, dude.

I say this with relief, but most people have not expirienced sexual abuse. Obviously, this is a good thing. However, it's pretty clear these days that empathy for people who have isn't wide-spread. The point of storytelling is broadening horizons, through different perspectives. It should not just be about catering to the audience.

Storytelling is that means of spreading empathy. There is value to the experience it has to share, and regardless of if Angela is real, the experiences she's there to portray are not without inspiration sourced in reality. If your argument is "She's not real. It's not real. Why care?" then you don't get the point of the whole of storytelling. Not just games, like, all of storytelling.

I just want to draw you attention to the OP's post, the original commenter in the image said nothing about SA, it's not mentioned instead the OP brings it up as a shield to prevent any criticism of the characters redesign. That's manipulation, and only an idiot wouldn't see it.

But what about word choice?

Calling someone a “fucking worm” is just as childish as the post they’re criticizing

if someone doesn't want to be called a worm they shouldn't act like a worm. even the engagement bait excuse doesn't work, it's gross behavior.

I would never call someone a disgusting worm but that’s just me 👌

lol ok snowflake
Boo hoo
it's very noble of you to come to the defense of some insane misogynist on twitter

No calling someone a worm is objectively hilarious tbh

”Vulnerable beauty”:

She was still the poster girl for the original SH2. Yes she was a sexual abuse victim but there was a certain vulnerable beauty to her that Team Silent/Konami wanted to convey in that iconic knife closeup shot as well as using her face for the actual cover art of the game.

"abuse victim"
"certain vulnerable beauty"
You actually wrote those two things together mate. Get therapy.

a lot of people who apparently have played and think they like silent hill 2 completely lack the maturity to handle any of the themes of the game apparently. angela's attractiveness should not be part of the discourse around her character at all.

A base level of attractiveness is relevant for almost all characters except Eddie. Thats the uncomfortable truth of human nature.
Attractiveness enhances a character’s charm. It enhances melancholic and profound musical performances, it enhances melancholic and profound movies. See Mazzy Star. See 500 Days of Summer. It wouldn’t have been the same if those musical artists and actors had unappealing annoying faces.

just because you are too shallow to empathize with people you don’t find attractive doesn’t mean everyone’s brain is broken in the same way man.

[Continued:]

This isn’t about me. This is about human nature. Look at the top YouTube comments on a Mazzy Star performance. They are praising her visual beauty. And we all know it feeds into the tenderness of the song. Nobody goes “Wtf is wrong with you- her face has nothing to do with the artistic value of the song!!!” You might call it shallow but it’s nothing to be faulted for. We are human.
Angela’s story is melancholic and profound. But Konami wouldn’t have made her the cover art had she been morbidly obese with a pudgy unappealing face. Nor would we SH2 fans hang the game poster of her on our walls if she was morbidly obese with a pudgy unappealing face. That knife pose shot wouldn’t have been nearly as iconic.
Saying all this stuff is very not PC. But there’s a difference between being bothered by the truth and refusing to accept it as the truth.

[…]

You misunderstand the term “vulnerable beauty”. You’re thinking about it negatively in terms of being taken advantage of. It’s not that. Im talking about tenderness and sorrow that is enhanced by natural beauty- and vice versa.
Go on YouTube and look at all the musical performances of songs about melancholy/ vulnerability/tenderness played by legendary artists. Like “fade into you” by Mazzy Star. The top YouTube comments are full of praises on her natural beauty. We know that aesthetic beauty enhances the artistry and vice versa.
Human nature tends to gravitate toward certain types of faces. It wouldn’t be the same if she had a derpy face. There is a reason why Konami decided to use Angela’s face as the cover art for the original SH2 game. Because her vulnerable beauty is a key component of her character. And her character is a key component of the game.
Even for James. The artistic value would be diminished if James had an ugly douchey and generally unlikeable face.

The Drama, Pt. 2

In a second thread, it is confirmed that this is the character’s final design.
DEI is blamed:

i vision apparently given by a DEI consultancy group named Hit Detection.

Holy shit you people treat DEI like it’s the fucking boogeyman. You realize that most games hire DEI consultancy, and they’re not some evil org pulling the strings changing the game, they almost always just check the game to ensure there isn’t any content that will unintentionally offend people?
It’s not some crazy scheme, it’s literally just checking that the writing has the intended response. It’s proofreading.

Because it is. Go actually read the ideology they are based of. DEI is the new fascism

Jesus, you have no idea what fascism means.
Just use pornhub man, this isn't something to go to war for lmao
You know, I was gonna debate you and use logic and sense, but the moment you threw out “facism” because it’s the buzzword of the day, I knew I’d be trying to debate someone with the IQ of a single cell amoeba

Insult to the single-cell amoebas tbh
Sure. Insult the person and not the argument.
Just so you know, I read most of post modernism general theories. It is amazing how it resembles fascism but just much better worded.
So, if you feel so insulted maybe go actually read the texts about DEI,instead of going hating on people.

[Continued:]

They insulted your argument too though. It's just the same basic rhetoric that everyone who thinks this way speaks. It's like you all subscribe to the same newsletter and read the weekly approved script. It's tiring and a waste of everyone's time, including yours.

Dudes never had an original thought in his life, if he didn't just parrot what the other incels say he wouldn't speak at all and the world would be all the better for it.

[…]

Or you could stop being incel
You didn't make an argumeny. You basically said "DEI is fascist go look it up". I looked it up ages ago when all these gamer dudes started scaremongering and it was the biggest non-issue I've ever seen. Like the whole SBI thing that got debunked fucking instantly. Outrage youtubers just found their new target to farm clicks, that's all.
User from kotakuinaction probably gonna link Jordan Petterson video if you ask for links

[…]

Just say the n word, man. We all know what you mean
Yup. People can stick their heads in the dirt and pretend these firms don't affect character designs but it is what it is.
Oh boy. Fuck DEI. Those people came to ruin games. The same way they ruined the other media.

There are allegations of gaslighting:

I cant with so many people gaslighting themselves into liking this design, OR the horrendous voice acting. So many of you guys are in pure copium mode right now, Just like with the trainwreck that is SH short message. This game looks worse and worse every time they show more of it, and everyone sticking up for the hideous character design and pretending the game looks good only because some of you compare it to the miniscule ps2 era gameplay of the OG isn't going to change how crap this remake's vision is. As someone who encourages people to take risks when it comes to remakes and reboots, I will be open minded. But it’s not looking good.

This sub is deleting any comments or posts that even slightly suggest there is something weird with how she looks. Her face does not look like a normal 19 year old girls and if you think it does your on some of that high dose copium.

People on the sub won't take any form of criticism, they'll just downvote you to doom. Her face is rather uncanny imo. I feel like they could've done it better

I don't mind being down voted. I've expressed my opinion and anyone who disagrees is welcome to express theres. What I do find amusing is the "you're just an incel" cope. These are supposed to be people against sexualization but make fun of other people's sex lives. But this is Reddit, so I'm not expecting anything better.

Comparisons are made:

I agree. If they feel inspired by Quagmire from Family Guy, then they should stick to their vision.

Bait used to be believable

I swear Silent Hill “fans” have to be the most obnoxious, I kinda see why we got nothing for such a long time.

Make Genshin fans look almost sane.

Denial used to be believable. Hit Detection worked on this game and that explains a lot.

”Hideous”:

She looks hideous. Can't believe this is what Blooper is doing.

Trust me brother you absolutely look worse than her

Yet you don't know what he or she looks like.
Stand on business and post yourself then lil bro
Sad to see people lack the critical thinking to critique this game. Blooper gave this woman a man jaw and it looks downright ugly. How does a character model from 2001 look better than one from 2024? Goes to show how much team silent cared about their game while blooper is just trying to make a quick buck.

The Flairs:

• “the trend of uglyfying formerly ok looking characters just for the progressive checkmark”
  
• “you’re all shit with your toxic positivity”
  
• “if a female doesn't give them a boner then it's woke”
  
• “theyre mad cuz they cant nut to a trauma victim”
  

I don't even know where to start with this one. I (17M) live with my mom (42F) and dad (45M) as well as my little brother (7M) who we'll call Chris.
Chris is adopted. His mom was my mom's best friend, and her and her husband passed away not long after he was born due to a car accident. My mom was his godmother, and took him in as her own. This was known to me since I was old enough to remember when he got adopted, but Chris wasn't, and he still isn't aware.
I was doing my homework the other night, and realised I was hungry. It was around midnight so I thought no one would be up, and decided to head to the kitchen. To my surprise, Chris was sitting on the floor reading a book in the living room. I came over and asked what he was doing up, and he looked up at me and told me he found a photo album in mom's drawers while looking for his sleeping gummies. He'd had a nightmare and didn't want to wake her, so thought he'd just grab some of his gummies and try and head back to sleep. He begged me not to tell mom or dad he was awake, and asked if he could look at the photos for just a little longer. I felt a little guilty, since I don't get a lot of time with him, so I selfishly let him stay up a while. I figured the photos would give him some positive memories and would give him something better to think about when he went back to bed.
We went to a random page in the book and it was a little before I was born, and they were photos of my mom. She looked beautiful, but I noticed she wasn't showing very much of a bump. Considering my mom is Korean and I know her mother didn't show much either, I figured it must've just been the photo and the dress she was wearing, or maybe the way she was turned from the camera. She was painting something and smiling at the camera, and the photo had a date from a few months before I was born. However, the further I looked, the more it seemed like she just wasn't pregnant at all. She never started showing, even days before I was born. Not only that, but there were no signs of her being pregnant in a celebratory sense, no baby showers, no artistic photos of my dad holding her stomach, nothing. This is bizarre because my parents are both quite artistic and expressive, my mom's a painter and my dad's an ex musician, so I assumed there would be pretty expressive photos of her pregnancy. But nope, nothing. Okay, so I'm adopted. Honestly not an awful surprise but still bizarre that this is how I found out. I got to the day of my birth in the album and I felt my jaw drop.
It was my mom in the hospital. She was holding me in a bundle of blankets, smiling cheerfully. Okay, so I'm not adopted, then what's the deal? But then I notice something. My mom is fully dressed, in her favourite sundress with her makeup and hair done. She doesn't look like a woman who's just given birth at all! However, as I go further through the photos I notice something stranger. There's a photo of another man holding me, right above another photo of a woman laying down, holding me with a smile. It's my aunt and uncle.
For a little backstory, my aunt, who we'll call Mina (46F) and my uncle, Gabriel (44M) are from my dad's side of the family. Gabriel is my dad's brother, and Mina's his wife. When I was 15, we met with my aunt and uncle, as well as my dad's parents, for Chuseok, a Korean holiday (My dad is Korean too). My parents told me this would be my first time meeting my aunt and uncle. However, when they walked in the room, I realised I had seen my aunt before. I couldn't really place it, but I brought it up to them. They all tried to brush it off and not talk about it, and my aunt kept giving me this weird, sad look. And she gave someone else the same sort of look: my mom.
I was in shock. My aunt was clearly the one in the photo who had given birth. The next few photos were of my parents with Mina and I, holding her close and cooing at me, etc. I kept going through and Mina and Gabriel seemed to be so present. They were there all the way until I was about 5, at which point they seemed to disappear from the photos. After a while my mom came in and I shoved the album under the coffee table. I told her to go back to bed and that I'd settle Chris down myself. She sleepily agreed and didn't argue, and went off to bed without another word. I put my brother to bed, and when I came out to the living room, my dad was there. He said he had just come home from my Uncle Gabriel's, that he'd had to stop by work to drop one of the keys off that he accidentally pocketed, and that my Uncle had texted that he was up and wanted to see if my dad wanted to stop on by. This isn't uncommon. My dad and I talked. I didn't mention what I'd found, but I implied he and mom hid a lot of things from me. He seemed to catch on that I'd found something, telling me we can discuss it over lunch tomorrow before his meeting, and then he went to bed. I'm so confused! Why would my parents hide this from me? Are they my parents? Are they actually my aunt and uncle? I don't know what to do! I guess I'll update this when I talk to my dad, but I'm still so confused. Thanks for letting me vent, and sorry if this is a mess.

Op- https://www.reddit.com/WritingPrompts/s/sWJUxDJ0SO
John’s left hand was squeezed white against the wheel of his old pick-up; he held his son, Alex, close with his other.
As they rattled down the uneven country roads, rain pelted their windshield with a fury. John continually glanced into the rearview. Thunder clapped at their back like the hands of god, and through the white flashes of lightning, he could make out a large barrel of rotating black smoke. Each time he looked, it seemed to have grown larger, and one singular thought repeated in his mind.
Make it to the cellar, he thought. Make it to the cellar.
He gripped his son tighter and pressed the accelerator with a heavy foot. The truck roared beneath them.
“Come on…” He muttered. He was driving nearly eighty.
“Dad?” Alex’s voice was small, and John could feel him trembling under his arm.
John rubbed his shoulder. “It’s okay, bud. We’re nearly there; it ain’t gonna get us.” Truthfully, though, he wasn’t sure if he believed the words himself.
“But Dad, I’m scared.”
Just then, a strong gust of wind punched the side of the truck, nearly sending it swerving into the ditch. With a squealing effort, John steadied it and accelerated faster. The boy’s head was now buried into his armpit. Limbs began falling from trees; scattered debris carpeted the roads.
John looked down at his son; he was still wearing his blue Little League uniform. All of this for a damn baseball game, he thought, then looked back at the road. He stomped the brakes. Alex screamed as they lurched forward and John stuck an arm out to keep him from flying into the windshield. The truck skidded sideways to a halt on the wet road. A giant oak tree, maybe eight feet in diameter, lay flat across their path.
“Fuck.” John muttered as he smacked the steering wheel with his palm. There wasn’t any getting around that.
He darted his eyes around wildly, looking for some sort of a solution—anything—but all he found was fear. The swirling column of dark wind was getting closer now, and his options were growing increasingly limited.
Then he noticed something. Just past the downed tree a green mile marker sign glowed back at him—the mile marker sign that’s about a half mile away from their house.
They were closer than they thought.
He grabbed Alex by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “We’re gonna make a run for it.
“What?” Alex asked, his eyes wide with terror.
“I know; I don’t want to either, but it’s our only shot. I—“
“No!” Alex shouted. He tried to say more, but the words just sputtered out in incoherent globs.
“Hey,” John said patiently, but Alex was in hysterics. John looked over his shoulder. Power lines were beginning to fall, and the transformers were popping into big blue sparks as they hit the ground. He looked back at Alex.
“HEY!” He shouted.
Alex stopped immediately and looked at him in surprise. He never yelled.
“Do you trust me?” He asked.
Alex moved his mouth, but no breath came to push the words out.
“Do you trust me?” John asked again, shaking the boy a little.
This time, Alex nodded yes.
“Okay, now listen. I’m going to pick you up, and we’re gonna run. I want you to close your eyes, and I don’t want you to open them until I tell you it’s okay. Do you understand?”
The boy nodded again, and a tear fell down his cheek as he closed his eyes.
John scooped him up and creaked the metal door open into the rain. Lightning continued to snap overhead; there was a metallic smell in the air, like burning wires, and the humidity was thick enough to choke a man.
He held the boy's head against his shoulder and started in a sort of half run to the driveway. Alex felt heavier than he used to, and it made him wonder just how long ago it was since he’d held him that way.
Cold rain whipped at their back, sticking their clothes to their skin like slick velcro. John spat the water from his mouth as he trudged forward blindly in the dark. His muscles started to burn. His feet snagged on branches, trash, and other debris that had blown in, threatening to trip him, and sudden dips or rises staggered him as his foot met only air where he expected solid earth.
John could feel the boy sobbing once more. “We’re almost there; we’re gonna make it.” He panted. This time, he really believed what he said. The driveway came into view as they rounded the last corner.
Limbs the size of cedar trees blew past them like confetti. One cracked John in the back of the head, sending him and Alex tumbling onto the ground. The pain was brilliant. For a moment, he saw white, but his vision quickly cleared, and he looked up at Alex.
Alex sat with his knees tucked to his chest, holding a scrape. His skin and clothes were covered in twigs, mud, and pine needles, and his face was twisted with fright—contorted like one of those dramatic masquerade masks as he rocked back and forth. His eyes were open now.
The twister roared behind them like a gasoline truck chugging up a hill. John scrambled to his feet. He scooped Alex into his arms, and started toward the house once again. His head was pounding, his muscles were on fire, blood was thudding against his ears, and that same thought from earlier continued to swim laps around his mind.
Make it to the cellar.
He pressed on, planting one solid foot into the ground at a time and marching forward like a well oiled machine.
Gravel crunched beneath his feet as he walked down the driveway; wind whipped their wet clothes like flags.
John shed Alex from his arms and looked down at the wooden cellar door. He tried pulling it open, but the wind shoved it back down. It was picking up even more now. Shingles began to be sucked from the roof, and John knew that if he didn’t get this door open, he and Alex would follow closely behind.
He pulled as hard as he could, grunting with the effort. Alex quickly joined him in the struggle, helping as much as a nine-year-old possibly could. It began to come up a little, but the wind was powerful.
John screamed and dug in harder. He had to get it open. He felt his muscles tearing beneath his skin, his joints cracking; he used every single ounce of his strength, and finally the door began to give. He pried it just far enough for them to fit.
“GET IN,” He shouted. The boy jumped inside, and John followed shortly after. The door slammed behind him with a smack that resembled a gunshot.
The cellar was dark. Screws and bolts and toolboxes filled with wrenches and other metal things shook and rumbled off of the shelves. A few baseball bats fell and clinked across the concrete floor. Up top, it sounded like a giant lawnmower was making quick work of the farmhouse, eating it up like it was little more than a stray blade of grass.
John’s head still throbbed, and he could feel warm blood trickling down the back of his neck. He was tired, breathing raggedly, and all of a sudden he had a very strong urge to go to sleep.
They held each other in darkness, sitting there for what seemed like an eternity, but just as quickly as it began, it was over. The roar lessened, quieted, then disappeared as it got further away.
The two looked at each other, both covered in dirt and debris, and John knew that everything was gone. He knew that the house was gone; he knew the farm was gone, and he knew that just about everything else he had ever worked for was torn to shreds in a matter of minutes.
But he looked at Alex, and when he saw the twinkle of life in his son’s eye, he breathed a sigh of relief. That was all that mattered. They sat for an hour in silence, not daring to step out until they were sure it was safe.
Eventually, rays of light began to beam through the cracks in the cellar door. John was the first to move. He walked to the door, flung it outward and shielded his squinted eyes to look outside.
The sky was blue. He hoisted himself upward and poked his head out.
His barn was still there. Bessie, his cow, was standing beside it, chewing on a mouthful of grass; all of the chickens strutted around the side of the barn, nearing the garden, which also looked untouched; the squash was even blooming. Behind him, their house stood tall, perfectly intact all the way up to the shingles.
The oddest thing of all was his farm pickup parked in the driveway—no worse shape than when they left for the ballgame.
John scratched his head.
“Dad?” Alex shouted.
“You can come up.” He said, puzzled.
Alex crawled out of the cellar in the same fashion as his father, and confusion dawned on his face as well. “It missed us?”
John shook his head. “No way it coulda missed us. I don’t really know what to make of it.”
He really didn’t. They saw the twister coming directly at them; they heard the house ripped to shreds right above their heads; the farm truck didn’t make it back to the house at all, for Christ's sake. It just didn’t make any damn sense.
A feminine voice called out to them—a voice John recognized at the first syllable. “John? Alex?”
“Vick..” He mouthed and whipped his head around. A tall woman with blonde hair was walking around the side of the porch, stepping as gracefully as a doe. Her eyes were as green as the pines behind her, and she gave a smile that held more reassurance than a million words could express.
She spread her arms wide. “My boys.” She said. John stood motionless, his mouth slightly agape. Alex pushed past him as he ran, “Mommy!” He shouted.
The woman wrapped the boy in a hug and lifted him from his feet. As she held his head against her shoulder, she pointed her eyes in John’s direction and held out her other hand.
He walked toward her, cautiously.
“John.” She said. “It’s me, I promise.”
John looked at her for a moment longer. He wanted to run to her, to wrap her up and lift her the same way she did Alex. For the past two years, there had been nothing in this world that he’d wanted more.
But his wife was dead. He watched as the cancer took her in 2014; he held her in his arms as she died in the hospital bed, yet there she stood—healthy and as real as the sun beating down on his neck. He reached a hand to the back of his head, feeling for the place where the branch whacked him.
But there was nothing—not even a tender spot.
He looked back up at his wife. “Are we…”
“Hush, dont think about it like that, John.” She smiled, “We’re together now.”
John staggered a little, staring down at his hands; his once farm hardened callouses were gone now, smoothed over with soft, healthy skin.
“I—“ He began.
“Get over here and hug me.”
He looked up; his wife looked back at him lovingly with her direct, green eyes, and for the first time in so long, he felt happy. A feeling he’d grown a stranger to. A grin tightened across his face, and he walked toward Vick as their old golden retriever ran panting toward them from across the yard, just like she used to, only now; she had all four of her legs.