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The original and only subreddit dedicated to 2C-B, the psychedelic phenethylamine synthesized by Alexander Shulgin. This subreddit is to promote harm reduction and safety, promote the knowledge and awareness of 2C-B, and to be a space for constructive conversation. Please note that this is NOT for 2C-B-FLY or βk-2C-B discussions, they may have 2C-B in the name but these are completely separate substances. /2CB_FLY or /researchchemicals are the subs for those questions.
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2024.06.01 15:19 WhyIsAdaitTaken Can you guess the genre of my book from chapter 1 and add why?
The world was dark, there was no sense of touch, and there was nothing to see. A sense of touch manifested, a cold and wet floor could be felt. A sense of hearing developed, a deep ringing could be heard. A sense of thought sprung from a mind. "Where am I?" A sense of sight had been acquired, he was in a room, white as far as the eye could see Movement was now possible as the man stood up, he realized that he was standing on water, so pristine and clear and yet there was no reflection.
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.
submitted by WhyIsAdaitTaken to FictionWriting [link] [comments]
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.
2024.06.01 15:19 Few-Impress2487 My GMAT FE journey from 475 in official mock 1 to 665 in first attempt
Hi all I recently completed giving my GMAT FE first attempt and scored 665 (V81,Q86 , DI 82) When I had given my first mock I had scored a 475 and was quite disappointed , especially with my Quant score but then decided to power through it and realised I probably needed some mentoring / coaching / test preparation course
I realised while I wanted to be done with the exam quickly, I also had to invest a certain amount of time in order to make right decisions for myself and to address the gaps. I’m outlining my entire journey here and I hope it can help someone else in their prep as well.
Firstly I took a couple of trials of different courses available to see what fits best for me and I actually found the second company that I tried checked all the boxes I was looking for. They had a self paced course , a good question bank and plenty of mocks to practice and I really found their content very helpful and detailed.
For verbal , I realised through both the course and practice that, what was integral for me was to be able to visualise the argument in case of CR and the passage in case of RC. When I started immersing myself in the scenario and imagining what would happen, it became easier to understand what was the assumption or what could explain a paradox or strengthen a scenario. This is especially important for Hard / Medium- Hard questions because it feels like the answer choices are very close and a lot of times we are able to narrow down to last two answer choices but still not get the correct one. In the beginning i wasn’t too concerned with the time , I was more worried about understanding the logic and getting my answer correct and sometimes it took me lot longer to solve the question but ultimately i think that’s what helped me get the accuracy as well. Once I was comfortable with the visualisation, it became second nature and naturally the speed also improved .
Coming to quant, I am from a tech background so it wasn’t the concepts that were a challenge or even the actual problem solving. Common faltering point for me was missing to read what the GMAT question language was actually asking. I would miss on Must be True / Could be True , if there was a hidden constraint saying the given number is a positive integer and I would take 0 also in the solution… common things like that and once I started paying attention to the question language and not be in a rush to solve , it greatly made a difference in accuracy. Maintaining an error log helped me greatly here.
Lastly Data Insights , this was the most dreaded section for me but I think once I was done mastering verbal and quant , DI is actually pretty easy , because the level of difficulty for the math part is much easier and same goes for non math question also. I would say that the calculator is tempting and initially I was using it very often to solve but this was leading to me spending 7-8 minutes on a question sometimes. I realised that the GMAT isn’t testing calculations so I need to be vary of using calculator , instead most questions test your inference skill , so I tried to formulate an approach and infer what I could from the data given. This helped me solve the question correctly in the prescribed amount of time. Paying attention to the data and the question stem and drawing inferences from data helps a lot before just jumping into solving.
I attempted 3 mocks in the 10 days before giving my final exam and my scores were as follows Mock 1 : 615 ( prep company ) Mock 2: 565 ( prep company ) Mock 3: 605 ( official mock 2)
With the mock scores it did not seem very likely that I would be able to get 90 percentile but here are my three biggest learning’s which I think is crucial for anyone going to give the exam and wants to see an improvement from mock scores
To anyone who read till the end of the, thanks a lot and I hope you were able to gain some helpful insight.
Good luck to anyone who’s giving the paper. I know it’s hard , but you can do it 😊
submitted by Few-Impress2487 to GMAT [link] [comments]
I realised while I wanted to be done with the exam quickly, I also had to invest a certain amount of time in order to make right decisions for myself and to address the gaps. I’m outlining my entire journey here and I hope it can help someone else in their prep as well.
Firstly I took a couple of trials of different courses available to see what fits best for me and I actually found the second company that I tried checked all the boxes I was looking for. They had a self paced course , a good question bank and plenty of mocks to practice and I really found their content very helpful and detailed.
For verbal , I realised through both the course and practice that, what was integral for me was to be able to visualise the argument in case of CR and the passage in case of RC. When I started immersing myself in the scenario and imagining what would happen, it became easier to understand what was the assumption or what could explain a paradox or strengthen a scenario. This is especially important for Hard / Medium- Hard questions because it feels like the answer choices are very close and a lot of times we are able to narrow down to last two answer choices but still not get the correct one. In the beginning i wasn’t too concerned with the time , I was more worried about understanding the logic and getting my answer correct and sometimes it took me lot longer to solve the question but ultimately i think that’s what helped me get the accuracy as well. Once I was comfortable with the visualisation, it became second nature and naturally the speed also improved .
Coming to quant, I am from a tech background so it wasn’t the concepts that were a challenge or even the actual problem solving. Common faltering point for me was missing to read what the GMAT question language was actually asking. I would miss on Must be True / Could be True , if there was a hidden constraint saying the given number is a positive integer and I would take 0 also in the solution… common things like that and once I started paying attention to the question language and not be in a rush to solve , it greatly made a difference in accuracy. Maintaining an error log helped me greatly here.
Lastly Data Insights , this was the most dreaded section for me but I think once I was done mastering verbal and quant , DI is actually pretty easy , because the level of difficulty for the math part is much easier and same goes for non math question also. I would say that the calculator is tempting and initially I was using it very often to solve but this was leading to me spending 7-8 minutes on a question sometimes. I realised that the GMAT isn’t testing calculations so I need to be vary of using calculator , instead most questions test your inference skill , so I tried to formulate an approach and infer what I could from the data given. This helped me solve the question correctly in the prescribed amount of time. Paying attention to the data and the question stem and drawing inferences from data helps a lot before just jumping into solving.
I attempted 3 mocks in the 10 days before giving my final exam and my scores were as follows Mock 1 : 615 ( prep company ) Mock 2: 565 ( prep company ) Mock 3: 605 ( official mock 2)
With the mock scores it did not seem very likely that I would be able to get 90 percentile but here are my three biggest learning’s which I think is crucial for anyone going to give the exam and wants to see an improvement from mock scores
- Make an error log and use that to see patterns. I was extremely detailed while making my error log and I used that to derive a check list of things where i commonly falter and which I should revise day before the exam
- There is no point in revising till the last moment or doing questions till the last day. It is more important that you are able to get rest and go with a calm peaceful mind so you can process information while giving exam. A lot of people giving the exam are out of the student phase and it has been years since you sat and gave an exam for 3 hours , so go with a well rested mind and body.
- Work on building mental resilience and strategy to attempt the paper through your mocks. Start with strongest section first so you feel comfortable while giving the paper. Take it one question at a time , one section at a time. I had started with verbal but I was unable to complete it due to nerves, and normally that would send me into panic and jitters but I learnt through my mocks to stay focused and calm and just put all my attention to next section , this helped me finish both DI and Quant with a couple of extra minutes to spare.
To anyone who read till the end of the, thanks a lot and I hope you were able to gain some helpful insight.
Good luck to anyone who’s giving the paper. I know it’s hard , but you can do it 😊
2024.06.01 15:16 asad_koths Training Roles Question
I was wondering if anyone has tested the efficacy of training roles for different positions. My understanding of the way the roles work is basically that the highlighted attributes are boosted in terms of focus and so develop more on average. I've gathered that the tactical familiarity of roles doesnt really matter (though I don't see why that should be the case) so that would mean that I can literally choose any training as long as it has the attributes I want boosted. If that's true, there's probably a few ideal roles I can train for each position that provide more of a boost than others. Meta training roles if you will. Any advice?
There is probably an experiment that can help here but that's only if my assumptions are correct (which is unlikely because I've only owned the game for a few weeks XD)
submitted by asad_koths to footballmanagergames [link] [comments]
There is probably an experiment that can help here but that's only if my assumptions are correct (which is unlikely because I've only owned the game for a few weeks XD)
2024.06.01 15:15 permafacepalm SIBO w/o symptoms? What does die-off actually look like?
TL;DR: I tested very positive for SIBO but don't feel any of the symptoms?
Context:
I've been walking through a number of gut issues and it was affecting my social life (i.e. farting so much and so bad I couldn't be around people), so I finally went to a functional doc. We did the elimination diet for 30 days and I actually got worse! I was shitting liquid daily and there seemed to be no specific trigger or cause. After the elimination diet I cut gluten from my diet since stool testing showed I was very sensitive. My gut/bowel symptoms improved once I incorporated other foods again and I felt much better. My diarrhea went away, and I don't have awful gas anymore (I don't have to think before I socialize). 1 month later we did a SIBO laculose breath test and it came back positive (and very high) for both hydrogen and methane. Bloodwork also shows very high thyroid levels and insulin resistance.
I can't afford the $1500 antibiotic for SIBO so we're going the natural route first to see how I fare: SIBOtic and lowFODMAP + supplements. It's been 3 days so far, so I know it's early, but I'm not sure what to expect because I nevert FELT any SIBO symptoms other than severe brain fog/trouble concentrating. I've looked up die-off symptoms online and I don't have any of those symptoms. So far SIBOtic just makes me more bloaty and gassy than I was before, plus I'm constipated. BMs are dark and reek. Is this die-off? Or just my body adjusting to low FODMAP? I'm not sure what to expect for SIBO since I don't have most of the main symptoms.
submitted by permafacepalm to SIBO [link] [comments]
Context:
I've been walking through a number of gut issues and it was affecting my social life (i.e. farting so much and so bad I couldn't be around people), so I finally went to a functional doc. We did the elimination diet for 30 days and I actually got worse! I was shitting liquid daily and there seemed to be no specific trigger or cause. After the elimination diet I cut gluten from my diet since stool testing showed I was very sensitive. My gut/bowel symptoms improved once I incorporated other foods again and I felt much better. My diarrhea went away, and I don't have awful gas anymore (I don't have to think before I socialize). 1 month later we did a SIBO laculose breath test and it came back positive (and very high) for both hydrogen and methane. Bloodwork also shows very high thyroid levels and insulin resistance.
I can't afford the $1500 antibiotic for SIBO so we're going the natural route first to see how I fare: SIBOtic and lowFODMAP + supplements. It's been 3 days so far, so I know it's early, but I'm not sure what to expect because I nevert FELT any SIBO symptoms other than severe brain fog/trouble concentrating. I've looked up die-off symptoms online and I don't have any of those symptoms. So far SIBOtic just makes me more bloaty and gassy than I was before, plus I'm constipated. BMs are dark and reek. Is this die-off? Or just my body adjusting to low FODMAP? I'm not sure what to expect for SIBO since I don't have most of the main symptoms.
2024.06.01 15:11 shallah Fact Sheet: In Response to H5N1, HHS and USDA Focus on Protecting Farmworkers HHS.gov
 | The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), including its four agencies CDC, FDA, NIH, and ASPR, in partnership with the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), remain focused on keeping communities healthy, safe, and informed in response to the outbreak of H5N1 in dairy cattle. CDC continues to assess that the risk to the general public is low. submitted by shallah to H5N1_AvianFlu [link] [comments] However, farmworkers who work closely with infected animals are at a higher risk of infection. As a result, across the U.S. Government, the Administration has taken a number of actions to enhance farmworker safety and to provide clear information to inform decisions made by workers and employers. For more information on the ongoing response, please visit FDA, CDC, and USDA’s ongoing H5N1 update pages. If farmworkers or others with contact to infected animals are feeling sick, or exposed to livestock is in need of personal protective equipment (PPE) they should contact their state health department for assistance. Additionally, the U.S. Government is taking the following actions to reduce the risk to farm workers: Protecting Farmworkers and the Public PPE Assistance: The Administration for Strategic Preparedness and Response (ASPR) is making PPE available to protect farmworkers and others who may come in contact with infected animals through the Strategic National Stockpile (SNS), supplementing commercial availability and state-managed stockpiles. States can request face shields, face masks, gloves, and goggles from the SNS if needed, giving them further flexibility to comply with CDC recommendations. ASPR will also make oseltamivir (Tamiflu) available upon request to jurisdictions that do not have their own stockpiles and are responding to treatment of symptomatic persons with exposure to confirmed or suspected infected birds, cattle, or other animal exposures. To date, ASPR has worked with six states to provide PPE to ensure farmworker safety. Additionally, USDA is providing financial support for producers who supply PPE to employees and/or provide outerwear uniform laundering, for producers of affected herds who facilitate the participation of their workers in USDA/CDC workplace and farmworker study. Genomic Analysis: CDC will continue to perform timely analyses of HPAI (H5N1) virus isolates to identify genetic changes that might allow for spread more easily to and between people, more serious illness in people, reduce susceptibility to antivirals, affect the sensitivity of diagnostic assays, or reduce neutralization of the virus by vaccine induced antibodies. Safety Guidance: CDC and USDA have updated guidance for people who work on dairy farms and in slaughterhouses, provided guides for how they can protect themselves, and continue to engage with state health departments to encourage them to have concrete plans in place to be able to test and treat workers in the event of an H5N1 outbreak among livestock. In response, additional tools have been added so farmers can better keep their herds and workers healthy and reduce the risk that the virus may spread to additional herds. USDA issued a Federal Order to limit spread of the disease, which included mandates for testing prior to interstate movement of lactating dairy cattle, a ban on interstate movement for affected herds for 30 days, and a requirement that labs share positive tests with the federal government. This has resulted in increased testing of cattle over the last month since the order was implemented. Treatment: CDC had posted recommendations for Influenza Antiviral Treatment and Chemoprophylaxis with oseltamivir. Educating Workers on Avian Flu: USDA and HHS’s Office of Intergovernmental & External Affairs (IEA) has held regular briefings with a broad range of organizations focused on food system workers (e.g., animal production workers, farmworkers, meat and poultry workers) and rural health stakeholders to keep them apprised on the latest developments and share information and written resources in multiple languages about the supports that the federal government is making available to protect workers. ASPR, CDC, and USDA have been regularly communicating with state agriculture and health officials as well as other partners about these resources. CDC is also investing in targeted social media, streaming audio, and display ad placement in areas with infected herds to reach poultry and livestock farmers, dairy farmers, and other farm workers with messages about their heightened risk and recommended protective measures in English and Spanish. Monitoring and Understanding Disease Transmission and Severity Health Surveillance: CDC working across the U.S. Government has identified an additional $93 million to make further investments in epidemiology, surveillance, and data analytics; wastewater and genomic surveillance; testing and laboratory capacity; vaccine activities; and partner efforts to reach high-risk populations. This builds on experience battling avian influenza globally and domestically – their system allows CDC to spot flu infection trends in advance and positions the agency to be able to detect this virus, down to the individual case. Exposure Monitoring: CDC is working with state and local health authorities to monitor exposed persons for illness. In most states, this means state public health officials are working with a trusted messenger in the community to alert public health when someone becomes symptomatic; in Michigan, state public health has direct daily contact with some impacted workers through texts. Note: All HHS press releases, fact sheets and other news materials are available at https://www.hhs.gov/news. Like HHS on Facebook , follow HHS on Twitter @HHSgov , and sign up for HHS Email Updates. Last revised: May 31, 2024 |
2024.06.01 15:11 Own-Historian712 am i pregnant?
this is my first time posting on reddit so please lmk if there is a better sub for my question! so, i took 2 pregnancy test two days ago and one of them was a positive and one was negative. i took 2 more yesterday and 2 more today, all were negative. i know the rarity of false positives but what are the chances of 5 tests being false negatives? i am already more then a week late for my menstrual cycle so i doubt i'm testing too early. what could this mean? (p.s i live in a ban state so i'm not really on board with seeing doctors about this)
submitted by Own-Historian712 to TheGirlSurvivalGuide [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 15:10 New_Expression9404 FTM at 6 weeks and partner lost his job yesterday
This weekend is my husband (37 yr old) and I’s (34 yr old) first wedding anniversary. What was intended on being a wonderful weekend, is now feelings of worry, anger, and despair. We’ve been TTC for the past year and finally seeing the positive pregnancy test was the most wonderful surprise! We’ve only told my mom, sister, and close friend so far. My partner and I both work from home. Hearing my partner being let go over the phone yesterday was the most unexpected experience. I’m trying to keep my stress levels under control but I’m honestly still in disbelief. A silver lining is I have been on my own health insurance so the prenatal care and labodelivery tours we went on last week are still in network. I’m anxious and can’t decide which birthing center makes more sense for us. My husband’s headspace is all over so I’m not sure if he will be able to think clearly and help with the selection.
I think I need to lean on my mom, sister, and close friends during this time but the thought of them judging him puts a pit in my stomach. I also don’t know how I feel about sharing my husband’s personal news with the world.
If anyone has advice on how you picked a birthing center, I’d appreciate hearing it. If anyone has had a similar experience happen to them, I’m sorry you’ve been through this too. I’m eager to discover how to balance my needs while also respecting my partner’s needs. Thank you 💗
submitted by New_Expression9404 to pregnant [link] [comments]
I think I need to lean on my mom, sister, and close friends during this time but the thought of them judging him puts a pit in my stomach. I also don’t know how I feel about sharing my husband’s personal news with the world.
If anyone has advice on how you picked a birthing center, I’d appreciate hearing it. If anyone has had a similar experience happen to them, I’m sorry you’ve been through this too. I’m eager to discover how to balance my needs while also respecting my partner’s needs. Thank you 💗
2024.06.01 15:00 jvc72 Cooper Companies Inc[NYSE:COO] Financials Q2/2024
Filling Date: 2024-05-31
REVENUE:
Revenue: $942.60M
Gross Profit: $632.00M (67.05%)
Result: $162.50M (ebitda)
EPS: $0.450
Outstanding Shares: 198.90M
BALANCE:
Cash: 112.40M
Debt: 2.71B
FINANCIAL EVALUATION/SCORE:
Financial Score - Altman: 4.03
Financial Score - Piotroski: 7.00
Cooper Companies Inc's price movement correlates with the following stocks:
Ticker Correlation --- --- TXO 0.842 TDS-PU 0.837 PCF 0.817 BMN 0.815 XBI 0.811 PHIN 0.805
Summary Of Last Earnings call:
In the second quarter of 2024, CooperCompanies reported record quarterly revenues, with CooperVision returning to double-digit revenue growth and CooperSurgical posting a solid quarter despite challenges with system upgrades. Key highlights included strong growth in the daily silicone hydrogel portfolio, particularly in toric and multifocal lenses, and ongoing success with MyDay and clariti products. Additionally, the myopia management portfolio, led by MiSight, continued to gain traction.
The company reported improvements in margins and non-GAAP earnings per share of $0.85. Looking ahead, increased revenue and earnings guidance were announced, incorporating the momentum seen in the markets. CooperVision's revenue guidance was raised to reflect improving capacity, while CooperSurgical's organic revenue guidance remained unchanged. The company is focusing on organic investments, debt reduction, and potential acquisitions for capital allocation.
Operational improvements, leverage from prior investment activity, and a strategic focus on efficiency and growth initiatives were identified as key factors driving the strong financial performance. The company has a positive outlook for the future and aims to continue delivering strong revenue growth and consistent operational performance.
Company Description:
The Cooper Companies, Inc., together with its subsidiaries, develops, manufactures, and markets contact lens wearers. The company operates in two segments, CooperVision and CooperSurgical. The CooperVision segment offers spherical lense, including lenses that correct near and farsightedness; and toric and multifocal lenses comprising lenses correcting vision challenges, such as astigmatism, presbyopia, myopia, ocular dryness and eye fatigues in the Americas, Europe, Middle East, Africa, and Asia Pacific. The CooperSurgical segment focuses on family and women's health care, which provides medical devices, fertility, genomics, diagnostics, and contraception to health care professionals and patients worldwide. It offers surgical and office products, including PARAGARD, uterine manipulators, retractors, closure products, point of care products, LEEP products, endosee, and illuminate and fetal pillows; fertility products and services, such as fertility consumables and equipment, and embryo options and preimplantation genetic testing. The Cooper Companies, Inc. was founded in 1958 and is headquartered in San Ramon, California.
Full fundamentals fundamentals for COO here.
submitted by jvc72 to getagraph [link] [comments]
FINANCIALS
Period: Q2/2024Filling Date: 2024-05-31
REVENUE:
Revenue: $942.60M
Gross Profit: $632.00M (67.05%)
Result: $162.50M (ebitda)
EPS: $0.450
Outstanding Shares: 198.90M
BALANCE:
Cash: 112.40M
Debt: 2.71B
FINANCIAL EVALUATION/SCORE:
Financial Score - Altman: 4.03
Financial Score - Piotroski: 7.00
Cooper Companies Inc's price movement correlates with the following stocks:
Ticker Correlation --- --- TXO 0.842 TDS-PU 0.837 PCF 0.817 BMN 0.815 XBI 0.811 PHIN 0.805
Summary Of Last Earnings call:
In the second quarter of 2024, CooperCompanies reported record quarterly revenues, with CooperVision returning to double-digit revenue growth and CooperSurgical posting a solid quarter despite challenges with system upgrades. Key highlights included strong growth in the daily silicone hydrogel portfolio, particularly in toric and multifocal lenses, and ongoing success with MyDay and clariti products. Additionally, the myopia management portfolio, led by MiSight, continued to gain traction.
The company reported improvements in margins and non-GAAP earnings per share of $0.85. Looking ahead, increased revenue and earnings guidance were announced, incorporating the momentum seen in the markets. CooperVision's revenue guidance was raised to reflect improving capacity, while CooperSurgical's organic revenue guidance remained unchanged. The company is focusing on organic investments, debt reduction, and potential acquisitions for capital allocation.
Operational improvements, leverage from prior investment activity, and a strategic focus on efficiency and growth initiatives were identified as key factors driving the strong financial performance. The company has a positive outlook for the future and aims to continue delivering strong revenue growth and consistent operational performance.
Company Description:
The Cooper Companies, Inc., together with its subsidiaries, develops, manufactures, and markets contact lens wearers. The company operates in two segments, CooperVision and CooperSurgical. The CooperVision segment offers spherical lense, including lenses that correct near and farsightedness; and toric and multifocal lenses comprising lenses correcting vision challenges, such as astigmatism, presbyopia, myopia, ocular dryness and eye fatigues in the Americas, Europe, Middle East, Africa, and Asia Pacific. The CooperSurgical segment focuses on family and women's health care, which provides medical devices, fertility, genomics, diagnostics, and contraception to health care professionals and patients worldwide. It offers surgical and office products, including PARAGARD, uterine manipulators, retractors, closure products, point of care products, LEEP products, endosee, and illuminate and fetal pillows; fertility products and services, such as fertility consumables and equipment, and embryo options and preimplantation genetic testing. The Cooper Companies, Inc. was founded in 1958 and is headquartered in San Ramon, California.
Full fundamentals fundamentals for COO here.
2024.06.01 14:57 WhyIsAdaitTaken Started a fiction, need a little feedback. (This is chapter 1 btw)
The world was dark, there was no sense of touch, and there was nothing to see. A sense of touch manifested, a cold and wet floor could be felt. A sense of hearing developed, a deep ringing could be heard. A sense of thought sprung from a mind. "Where am I?" A sense of sight had been acquired, he was in a room, white as far as the eye could see Movement was now possible as the man stood up, he realized that he was standing on water, so pristine and clear and yet there was no reflection.
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.
submitted by WhyIsAdaitTaken to fiction [link] [comments]
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.
2024.06.01 14:47 One_Collection_5208 First time testing after 8w3d miscarriage Mira vs Inito
 | I miscarried naturally on May 28th at 8w3d, with the baby measuring 2 days ahead. Today as of June 1st, I'm still experiencing bleeding (though it's subsided somewhat), and I've started tracking my hormone levels using Inito (after previously using Mira for 2 cycles before my pregnancy). I'm also monitoring my HCG levels with easy@home test strips, which still show a strong positive result. submitted by One_Collection_5208 to Mirafertility [link] [comments] I'm impressed by how closely Inito and Mira measurements align, considering they both detect HCG as LH. Currently, my HCG levels are around 25, and I'm hoping they'll clear my system soon. It's ironic - just a few months ago, I was praying for a positive pregnancy test, and now I'm praying for a negative result as soon as possible! |
2024.06.01 14:47 Sydneypoopmanager 1 Month to prove myself before restructure. What would you do?
My team is being restructured where my position assistant project manager (bottom of the rung) is being elminated in 1 month. I currently manage 8 x projects by necessity which my manager has already identified as 'too much for any PM'. There is a strong likelyhood (but not 100% certainty) that I will be either be promoted to mid tier PM or PE (project engineer).
What things can I do to make it a certainty that I will be promoted?
What other things should I be doing to cover my risk of financial loss?
Things i'm already doing:
submitted by Sydneypoopmanager to auscorp [link] [comments]
What things can I do to make it a certainty that I will be promoted?
What other things should I be doing to cover my risk of financial loss?
Things i'm already doing:
- booked PMP certification test to be a certified before EOFY.
- go to all team lunches and actively get to know the team.
- taking on as many tasks and projects from other PMs and my manager as possible.
- researching more certifications to take on (ACP, CSM, CPPM, Prince2). Also applied for Master of PM for next year
- data scraping every single job ad to fix my resume
- applying to every job I can find under the sun starting next week
2024.06.01 14:45 Skye_Lumitar A very curious case with a GTX 980 ti
Long story, got a "broken" GTX 970 ti for less than $50, being the card that I've always wanted when I didn't have the money to get it, I said why not, at best it'll work at worse it'll be a nice display piece.
The seller told me that the card had artifacts leading to crashes, classic faulty VRAM, reflow old GPU right? Well...
The first day I installed it on my computer shows me the said artifacts on the boot screen (TUF logo still visible, the artifacts are around the logo), then a low-res screen 800x600, the DVI is connected to the card, I can navigate and stuff, after 10 mins the screen blinks and "turns on" the proper resolution, I install drivers, everything goes alright, I restart and no visible artifacts! They're gone like magic, I click "debug mode" just in case and I try some games, everything works flawlessly, temps go as low as 20c and to 50c while gaming (Arkham Knight, Fortnite, Lol, all on max)
I said "fuck yes" and I turned my PC off, next day I turn it on and everything's alright too, no artifacts not even while booting, I game all day, turn it off in the night, but here's the thing the next day I take off the card from my PC to replace the pads (pad, the Strix 980 ti only comes with one)
I replace it and I put it on my PC again, then the artifacts are back again, and the Windows logo appears, it completely crashes, I install my RX 570 again to uninstall the drivers with DDU, then I put the 980 ti and the low res screen is back, but now after 30 mins it doesn't do the magical "blink" that it did before, the screen stays in that low resolution and if I try to install drivers, the screen is filled with artifacts and it crashes, error 43 appears when I put my RX back again to see what happened
Maybe AMD drivers are causing a conflict? I uninstall everything, nothing changes.
Then I took it to some tech repair service, they connect the card to two PSUs because they don't have a 500/600w (Idk how to use two PSUs for one PC but heh)
No artifacts while booting, it goes to Windows in the proper resolution (no low-res home screen) Sadly they wanted to charge me over $100 for a proper testing/troubleshooting
Coming back home I put it on my PC, artifacts again, I left it for two days until I said let's do again, why not, boom, the card turns on flawlessly, same deal as before, check the temps, all ok, game again, it crashes.
So here's what happens, after plug and remove dozens of times randomly the card will boot and everything will work alright if I turn on "debug mode" if I don't, the card despite running and installing drivers will crash, but also the card will show artifacts and will refuse to even start windows randomly, or so I thought...
Because I tried to NOT remove the card from the Motherboard, and instead fiddle with the PSU cables (pigtail cable with 2x 8 pins)
Guess what, changing positions/plugging/removing will give different results, sometimes it'll show artifacts, or will run great, or it'll show "half" artifacts, or it'll not even boot
So what's going on with this card? right now it's working, and I can even turn the PSU off and when I turn it on the card works normally, but if I disconnect the PSU cables/remove the card from the Motherboard, EVEN if I turn the PSU off for hours it somehow will trigger the random artifacting/crashes, even if I don't swap places of the PSU cables
How it is possible? How the card "knows" when I remove it from the PC even when I completely turn it off? And what is causing the random artifacting? because it is working perfectly now, not a single dot in the screen, and all temps are great, and when I went to the tech repair it showed no artifacting even when he plugged in and out may times? It is my PSU causing this? Because I've read everywhere that artifacting is 100% a GPU's problem and a PSU can't cause artifacting, yet it appears/dissapears when I randomly plug in/out the PSU cables, (PSU: EVGA 500W bronze, working flawlessly with my RX 570 for years, but the RX only uses a single 8pin connector, the 980 ti uses two)
I'm really curious about how the card detects that I removed it from the PC even without any kind of electricity on the PC or the card even unplugging the power cable, like the card knows that I took it off.
(For the record, I'm not in the States, prices are astronomically different here, 4x more even in used hardware, an used 980 ti costs $200 not kidding, a 1050 ti costs $180, the lowest RTX costs $450, virtually no difference between used or new hardware for how expensive it is. Buying online isn't an option due to absurd taxes from a corrupt government, be thankful for every day that you spend living in the US of A)
submitted by Skye_Lumitar to buildapc [link] [comments]
The seller told me that the card had artifacts leading to crashes, classic faulty VRAM, reflow old GPU right? Well...
The first day I installed it on my computer shows me the said artifacts on the boot screen (TUF logo still visible, the artifacts are around the logo), then a low-res screen 800x600, the DVI is connected to the card, I can navigate and stuff, after 10 mins the screen blinks and "turns on" the proper resolution, I install drivers, everything goes alright, I restart and no visible artifacts! They're gone like magic, I click "debug mode" just in case and I try some games, everything works flawlessly, temps go as low as 20c and to 50c while gaming (Arkham Knight, Fortnite, Lol, all on max)
I said "fuck yes" and I turned my PC off, next day I turn it on and everything's alright too, no artifacts not even while booting, I game all day, turn it off in the night, but here's the thing the next day I take off the card from my PC to replace the pads (pad, the Strix 980 ti only comes with one)
I replace it and I put it on my PC again, then the artifacts are back again, and the Windows logo appears, it completely crashes, I install my RX 570 again to uninstall the drivers with DDU, then I put the 980 ti and the low res screen is back, but now after 30 mins it doesn't do the magical "blink" that it did before, the screen stays in that low resolution and if I try to install drivers, the screen is filled with artifacts and it crashes, error 43 appears when I put my RX back again to see what happened
Maybe AMD drivers are causing a conflict? I uninstall everything, nothing changes.
Then I took it to some tech repair service, they connect the card to two PSUs because they don't have a 500/600w (Idk how to use two PSUs for one PC but heh)
No artifacts while booting, it goes to Windows in the proper resolution (no low-res home screen) Sadly they wanted to charge me over $100 for a proper testing/troubleshooting
Coming back home I put it on my PC, artifacts again, I left it for two days until I said let's do again, why not, boom, the card turns on flawlessly, same deal as before, check the temps, all ok, game again, it crashes.
So here's what happens, after plug and remove dozens of times randomly the card will boot and everything will work alright if I turn on "debug mode" if I don't, the card despite running and installing drivers will crash, but also the card will show artifacts and will refuse to even start windows randomly, or so I thought...
Because I tried to NOT remove the card from the Motherboard, and instead fiddle with the PSU cables (pigtail cable with 2x 8 pins)
Guess what, changing positions/plugging/removing will give different results, sometimes it'll show artifacts, or will run great, or it'll show "half" artifacts, or it'll not even boot
So what's going on with this card? right now it's working, and I can even turn the PSU off and when I turn it on the card works normally, but if I disconnect the PSU cables/remove the card from the Motherboard, EVEN if I turn the PSU off for hours it somehow will trigger the random artifacting/crashes, even if I don't swap places of the PSU cables
How it is possible? How the card "knows" when I remove it from the PC even when I completely turn it off? And what is causing the random artifacting? because it is working perfectly now, not a single dot in the screen, and all temps are great, and when I went to the tech repair it showed no artifacting even when he plugged in and out may times? It is my PSU causing this? Because I've read everywhere that artifacting is 100% a GPU's problem and a PSU can't cause artifacting, yet it appears/dissapears when I randomly plug in/out the PSU cables, (PSU: EVGA 500W bronze, working flawlessly with my RX 570 for years, but the RX only uses a single 8pin connector, the 980 ti uses two)
I'm really curious about how the card detects that I removed it from the PC even without any kind of electricity on the PC or the card even unplugging the power cable, like the card knows that I took it off.
(For the record, I'm not in the States, prices are astronomically different here, 4x more even in used hardware, an used 980 ti costs $200 not kidding, a 1050 ti costs $180, the lowest RTX costs $450, virtually no difference between used or new hardware for how expensive it is. Buying online isn't an option due to absurd taxes from a corrupt government, be thankful for every day that you spend living in the US of A)
2024.06.01 14:39 One_Collection_5208 First time testing after miscarriage Inito vs Mira
 | I miscarried naturally on May 28th at 8w3d, with the baby measuring 2 days ahead. Today as of June 1st, I'm still experiencing bleeding (though it's subsided somewhat), and I've started tracking my hormone levels using Inito (after previously using Mira for 2 cycles before my pregnancy). I'm also monitoring my HCG levels with easy@home test strips, which still show a strong positive result. submitted by One_Collection_5208 to Inito [link] [comments] I'm impressed by how closely Inito and Mira measurements align, considering they both detect HCG as LH. Currently, my HCG levels are around 25, and I'm hoping they'll clear my system soon. It's ironic - just a few months ago, I was praying for a positive pregnancy test, and now I'm praying for a negative result as soon as possible! |
2024.06.01 14:22 kmk3895 Fingers Look Discolored
19F. 5’4, 115 lbs. I'm on Zyrtec (for 12 yrs/chronic hives) and Zoloft (for 1.5 yrs/anxiety). I don't use any other substances.
I've been having a lot of fatigue and muscle pains the last few months. My liver enzymes and GGT have been elevated and I have a positive ANA and tested mildly positive for smooth muscle antibodies. I also have low Vitamin D, low ferritin, and low iron saturation. My cortisol also tested low, but the doctor said that could be because I got a steroid injection for acne two months prior.
Within just these past few weeks, I've noticed that my knuckles appear to be kind of yellow-looking. I'm not sure if I'm just being hyper-aware of any yellowness because of the liver numbers or if they actually look discolored. If they do look discolored, I don't think its jaundice because my eyes look completely white. Could this discoloration be caused by something else? I can't find any answers elsewhere so I appreciate your response. Thank you.
submitted by kmk3895 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
I've been having a lot of fatigue and muscle pains the last few months. My liver enzymes and GGT have been elevated and I have a positive ANA and tested mildly positive for smooth muscle antibodies. I also have low Vitamin D, low ferritin, and low iron saturation. My cortisol also tested low, but the doctor said that could be because I got a steroid injection for acne two months prior.
Within just these past few weeks, I've noticed that my knuckles appear to be kind of yellow-looking. I'm not sure if I'm just being hyper-aware of any yellowness because of the liver numbers or if they actually look discolored. If they do look discolored, I don't think its jaundice because my eyes look completely white. Could this discoloration be caused by something else? I can't find any answers elsewhere so I appreciate your response. Thank you.
2024.06.01 14:20 Polypedatess Is this even bad enough to have ptsd from
I'm just so tired all the time, it literally feels like I can sleep all day. I have a normal sleep schedule, but everyday I just feel so exhausted. I have dark circles under my eyes and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I just lay in bed all day and want to rot. I feel suicidal, I just want to die all the time and it's getting worse. I get nightmares of him, not of what exactly happened but just of different sa from him. I feel like there's no point in going on anymore, I don't think it's going to get better. I don't exactly know what it's like to have a flashback, but I think I've experienced them. I have really bad maladaptive daydreaming, but I don't think it's that. It's like I'm there again, I can't control it or stop it or rewind it. It's like it's happening all over again and that I'm there and I can feel it. When it's happening I just sit there and cry and I feel like screaming but I obviously can't do that so I have to hold it in. My head feels like it's burning constantly too, like the back of my head feels so fucking warm and hot. Like my brain is melting. And I just want to die and I'm so tired I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.
submitted by Polypedatess to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.
2024.06.01 14:15 centaccount9 $BA: Mission Update - Starliner powered up for launch
 | submitted by centaccount9 to SpaceInvestorsDaily [link] [comments] |
2024.06.01 14:08 Polypedatess Is this even bad enough to have ptsd
Trigger warning. Also I'm sorry, this is a really long post but I'll bullet point most stuff down.
I'm just so tired all the time, it literally feels like I can sleep all day. I have a normal sleep schedule, but everyday I just feel so exhausted. I have dark circles under my eyes and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I just lay in bed all day and want to rot. I feel suicidal, I just want to die all the time and it's getting worse. I get nightmares of him, not of what exactly happened but just of different sa from him. I feel like there's no point in going on anymore, I don't think it's going to get better. I don't exactly know what it's like to have a flashback, but I think I've experienced them. I have really bad maladaptive daydreaming, but I don't think it's that. It's like I'm there again, I can't control it or stop it or rewind it. It's like it's happening all over again and that I'm there and I can feel it. When it's happening I just sit there and cry and I feel like screaming but I obviously can't do that so I have to hold it in. My head feels like it's burning constantly too, like the back of my head feels so fucking warm and hot. Like my brain is melting. And I just want to die and I'm so tired I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.
submitted by Polypedatess to ptsd [link] [comments]
I'm just so tired all the time, it literally feels like I can sleep all day. I have a normal sleep schedule, but everyday I just feel so exhausted. I have dark circles under my eyes and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I just lay in bed all day and want to rot. I feel suicidal, I just want to die all the time and it's getting worse. I get nightmares of him, not of what exactly happened but just of different sa from him. I feel like there's no point in going on anymore, I don't think it's going to get better. I don't exactly know what it's like to have a flashback, but I think I've experienced them. I have really bad maladaptive daydreaming, but I don't think it's that. It's like I'm there again, I can't control it or stop it or rewind it. It's like it's happening all over again and that I'm there and I can feel it. When it's happening I just sit there and cry and I feel like screaming but I obviously can't do that so I have to hold it in. My head feels like it's burning constantly too, like the back of my head feels so fucking warm and hot. Like my brain is melting. And I just want to die and I'm so tired I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.
2024.06.01 14:05 livelifr Will I ever have energy back
Guys, it’s been 15 days for me since testing positive, I am still waking up. SORE. And EXHUASTED!!! I get better throughout the day but I get these tired waves where I could just sleep. Loll I started taking vitamins. Is there anything else I can do? This flirt variant is no joke !!!
submitted by livelifr to COVID19positive [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 14:02 ArliiQ Insurance Verification Jobs shouldn’t require tax returns
So, I have worked in healthcare from home since 2019. In the past I haven’t had much issue with the recruiting process. Simple; apply, test, interview, offer, paperwork, start. Toss a pre-employment drug assessment in there and yea that’s pretty much the gist.
However, recently I applied for an Insurance Verification position paying a whopping 17.00 an hour (which is 3.00 less than my previous role doing the same job) and the recruiting process was dare I say… torture?
The used ADP screening and one would think ADP would have had no issue completing this background check. I have no criminal history, good credit, barely any debt, consistent job history, and good references. Yet, I received a spam of emails over the course of over a week asking for tax transcripts and pay stubs from employers I worked for in 2013-2018… none of which were roles relevant to the one I applied to.
I have two 18 month old twins to care for so it’s hard to sit around unpaid spending hours dredging up old documents.
When I inquired about why I should turn over tax documents I was told that ADP couldn’t verify my employment. Okay. Cool. Well I don’t have access to pay stubs that far back so I guess I HAVE to give them my tax transcripts. I download and redact my previous pay and financial info and send them to ADP.
Nope. HR person wants the transcripts sent directly to her…. Weird ask but alrighty. She sends back an email saying to send the unredacted transcript. Literally why??? Why would I show you all of my financials for an entry level position?
I fight back and forth about this until she stops asking and proceeds with the onboarding. But one last little monkey wrench to make it all the more annoying- she wants a copy of my HIGH SCHOOL transcripts. I am 31 years old. No diploma copy accepted, this lady wants to see my grades.
I spent HOURS trying and failing to find the old stubs, navigating the tax website, downloading and redacting forms, reaching out to my old school and paying money for transcripts. Money I really don’t have much of as a single parent.
Has anyone ever been asked to provide this much documentation for a job before? Sorry for the long post I’m just trying to get this off my chest xD
submitted by ArliiQ to recruitinghell [link] [comments]
However, recently I applied for an Insurance Verification position paying a whopping 17.00 an hour (which is 3.00 less than my previous role doing the same job) and the recruiting process was dare I say… torture?
The used ADP screening and one would think ADP would have had no issue completing this background check. I have no criminal history, good credit, barely any debt, consistent job history, and good references. Yet, I received a spam of emails over the course of over a week asking for tax transcripts and pay stubs from employers I worked for in 2013-2018… none of which were roles relevant to the one I applied to.
I have two 18 month old twins to care for so it’s hard to sit around unpaid spending hours dredging up old documents.
When I inquired about why I should turn over tax documents I was told that ADP couldn’t verify my employment. Okay. Cool. Well I don’t have access to pay stubs that far back so I guess I HAVE to give them my tax transcripts. I download and redact my previous pay and financial info and send them to ADP.
Nope. HR person wants the transcripts sent directly to her…. Weird ask but alrighty. She sends back an email saying to send the unredacted transcript. Literally why??? Why would I show you all of my financials for an entry level position?
I fight back and forth about this until she stops asking and proceeds with the onboarding. But one last little monkey wrench to make it all the more annoying- she wants a copy of my HIGH SCHOOL transcripts. I am 31 years old. No diploma copy accepted, this lady wants to see my grades.
I spent HOURS trying and failing to find the old stubs, navigating the tax website, downloading and redacting forms, reaching out to my old school and paying money for transcripts. Money I really don’t have much of as a single parent.
Has anyone ever been asked to provide this much documentation for a job before? Sorry for the long post I’m just trying to get this off my chest xD
2024.06.01 14:01 Mysterious_Prune_690 Final Verdict On Growth Matrix Review (2024)
Numerous individuals have shared their experiences of heightened energy, firmer erections, and enhanced overall sexual performance. These positive effects not only bolster their self-assurance but also rejuvenate their relationships.
In conclusion, the Growth Matrix stands as a male enhancement program that genuinely lives up to its esteemed reputation. With its potent formula, favorable feedback, and dedication to excellence, it serves as a trustworthy choice for men seeking to improve their sexual encounters.
It incorporates techniques that have undergone clinical testing. These guides are supported by scientific research aimed at enhancing male organ size.
It's conveniently accessible in a user-friendly digital format.
Components:
The ‘Immediate Inches’ Quickstart Guide
The Platinum Video Series
The 6 Minutes Exercise Guide
The Digital Growth Tracking System
Benefits:
Makes you stronger and bigger
Boosts performance
Enhances sexual health
Provides better sexual care
Improves blood flow
Supports high energy levels
Increases your girth
Promotes overall health
Side Effects?
No Side Effects All Natural Way, there have been no mentions of adverse effects in the online Growth Matrix reviews ( https://growthmatrix.co/mdm ).
Has The Growth Matrix Program Received Media Coverage on Any Platforms?
The New York Times – Newspaper
Fox News – News Channel
The Dr. Oz Show – Reality TV
Sirius XM – Radio
Join to our community: https://www.reddit.com/growthmatrix/
submitted by Mysterious_Prune_690 to GrowthPenisMatrix [link] [comments]
In conclusion, the Growth Matrix stands as a male enhancement program that genuinely lives up to its esteemed reputation. With its potent formula, favorable feedback, and dedication to excellence, it serves as a trustworthy choice for men seeking to improve their sexual encounters.
It incorporates techniques that have undergone clinical testing. These guides are supported by scientific research aimed at enhancing male organ size.
It's conveniently accessible in a user-friendly digital format.
Components:
The ‘Immediate Inches’ Quickstart Guide
The Platinum Video Series
The 6 Minutes Exercise Guide
The Digital Growth Tracking System
Benefits:
Makes you stronger and bigger
Boosts performance
Enhances sexual health
Provides better sexual care
Improves blood flow
Supports high energy levels
Increases your girth
Promotes overall health
Side Effects?
No Side Effects All Natural Way, there have been no mentions of adverse effects in the online Growth Matrix reviews ( https://growthmatrix.co/mdm ).
Has The Growth Matrix Program Received Media Coverage on Any Platforms?
The New York Times – Newspaper
Fox News – News Channel
The Dr. Oz Show – Reality TV
Sirius XM – Radio
Join to our community: https://www.reddit.com/growthmatrix/
2024.06.01 13:58 youngavenger91 Nervous after beta.
I was supposed to get my period yesterday and instead got a faint positive pregnancy test. I called my fertility clinic (struggling to conceive and stay pregnant but this pregnancy happened naturally) and they ordered bloodwork. I just got the results of my beta hcg and it is 25. I’m really nervous now that I’m going to have another chemical pregnancy as the last chemical we got on bloodwork had a beta of 27. What is the likelihood that this baby is going to stick or that I’m going to have another chemical pregnancy. I won’t hear back from my clinic until Monday afternoon so I’m stressing out right now.
submitted by youngavenger91 to CautiousBB [link] [comments]
2024.06.01 13:57 wontbowdontknowhow A friendly reminder to ALWAYS test for LADA
Just a few days ago, as a newly diagnosed type 2 diabetic, I asked about your experiences with the rate of improvement after diagnosis. I was surprised to see significant results after just a few days (keto, IF, metformin + sitagliptin). My doctor was almost certain I was type 2, but ordered a GAD antibodies test and C-peptide ‘just to be sure’. I also did a lipid panel, amylase, lipase (pancreatic enzymes related to pancreatitis), fasting insulin, and fasting cortisol (to get a fuller picture of my insulin resistance).
For a few days before testing, my glucose was steadily 81-99, with a maximum of 120 after a meal. I was so happy to get this under control so quickly! When my lab results came back, I was even more reassured (and confident it wasn’t LADA). The fact that I was overweight/obese my whole life, the rate of improvement after the diagnosis, and the results indicated I was type 2.
All these lab results came in quickly, but I was still waiting for the GAD antibodies, which take a while to process. But again, based on my C-peptide alone, I was quite sure it wasn’t LADA.
A few days later, the GADA results finally came in. And, lo and behold, they were off the scale, ≥ 2000. So there is no question—I’m a LADA undergoing an aggressive autoimmune process.
My first reaction was shock and disbelief. I dug deep, reading all the studies available. I even checked out the manufacturer’s instructions for the ELISA method GAD antibodies test using EUROIMMUN equipment, to estimate the chance of a false positive.
This is additional information, but maybe it will help someone: official instructions recommend re-running the test if the results are off the scale. Lab technicians are supposed to do this not to rule out a false positive, but to get the exact amount of antibodies using a diluted serum. My test wasn’t re-run, so I cannot be sure about how many antibodies I actually have—it may be 2001, but it also may very well be 25,000.
According to the manufacturer, the test has an 82% sensitivity and a 99% specificity. That means (thanks, ChatGPT) that in 50 patients with newly diagnosed type 1 diabetes, approximately 41 would be correctly identified as positive and 9 would be false negatives. Additionally, in 90 blood donors, approximately 89.1 would be correctly identified as negative, leaving approximately 1 as a false positive. Based on the data provided by the manufacturer, false positives can amount to approximately 0.71% to 0.93% and false negatives anywhere from 2.33% to 18%.
However, there are at least two independent studies providing evidence that false positives are quite common in patients with very low GADA titers in their serum—something to keep in mind when testing. On the other hand, not all LADAs will test positive for GADA; there are other antibodies the diagnosis can be based on.
And don’t get me wrong, I am very well aware that there are overweight/obese LADAs (approximately 30%, and the number is rising), and that in the early stages of the disease, some patients may have relatively normal C-peptide levels. However, in all the studies I reviewed, I haven’t found a case where the C-peptide and GADA levels were as disproportionate as mine. I’m still puzzled by these results. I have an appointment with my diabetologist on Wednesday, and I’m very curious about what she will have to say.
Here in Poland, I could do all the tests for free. I know that many of you are not so fortunate. However, I still encourage you to test for LADA, as there is some evidence that starting low-dosage insulin therapy early can help preserve some beta cell function for a longer period, prolonging the LADA honeymoon.
I hope this helps someone.
submitted by wontbowdontknowhow to diabetes_t2 [link] [comments]
For a few days before testing, my glucose was steadily 81-99, with a maximum of 120 after a meal. I was so happy to get this under control so quickly! When my lab results came back, I was even more reassured (and confident it wasn’t LADA). The fact that I was overweight/obese my whole life, the rate of improvement after the diagnosis, and the results indicated I was type 2.
- Amylase and lipase: Normal.
- Cortisol: High, not surprising (fasting norm up to 18.4 µg/dl, mine was 23.6).
- Insulin: At the upper limit of normal (fasting norm up to 24.9 µIU/ml, mine was 20.3).
- C-peptide: Very slightly above the norm (normal up to 4.4 ng/ml, mine was 4.46).
All these lab results came in quickly, but I was still waiting for the GAD antibodies, which take a while to process. But again, based on my C-peptide alone, I was quite sure it wasn’t LADA.
A few days later, the GADA results finally came in. And, lo and behold, they were off the scale, ≥ 2000. So there is no question—I’m a LADA undergoing an aggressive autoimmune process.
My first reaction was shock and disbelief. I dug deep, reading all the studies available. I even checked out the manufacturer’s instructions for the ELISA method GAD antibodies test using EUROIMMUN equipment, to estimate the chance of a false positive.
This is additional information, but maybe it will help someone: official instructions recommend re-running the test if the results are off the scale. Lab technicians are supposed to do this not to rule out a false positive, but to get the exact amount of antibodies using a diluted serum. My test wasn’t re-run, so I cannot be sure about how many antibodies I actually have—it may be 2001, but it also may very well be 25,000.
According to the manufacturer, the test has an 82% sensitivity and a 99% specificity. That means (thanks, ChatGPT) that in 50 patients with newly diagnosed type 1 diabetes, approximately 41 would be correctly identified as positive and 9 would be false negatives. Additionally, in 90 blood donors, approximately 89.1 would be correctly identified as negative, leaving approximately 1 as a false positive. Based on the data provided by the manufacturer, false positives can amount to approximately 0.71% to 0.93% and false negatives anywhere from 2.33% to 18%.
However, there are at least two independent studies providing evidence that false positives are quite common in patients with very low GADA titers in their serum—something to keep in mind when testing. On the other hand, not all LADAs will test positive for GADA; there are other antibodies the diagnosis can be based on.
And don’t get me wrong, I am very well aware that there are overweight/obese LADAs (approximately 30%, and the number is rising), and that in the early stages of the disease, some patients may have relatively normal C-peptide levels. However, in all the studies I reviewed, I haven’t found a case where the C-peptide and GADA levels were as disproportionate as mine. I’m still puzzled by these results. I have an appointment with my diabetologist on Wednesday, and I’m very curious about what she will have to say.
Here in Poland, I could do all the tests for free. I know that many of you are not so fortunate. However, I still encourage you to test for LADA, as there is some evidence that starting low-dosage insulin therapy early can help preserve some beta cell function for a longer period, prolonging the LADA honeymoon.
I hope this helps someone.