Youville cheats money

I (m28) have been married to my wife (f27) for 6 years, and in all that time my in-laws have not hidden their hate for me or my chosen career, but I’ve always been able to turn the other cheek since I love my wife to death.
To give some insight to what I do i worked as an agricultural blacksmith. But what my in-laws don’t know is that I own and run 7 agricultural blacksmith shops, and me and my wife are very well off, but we don’t like to show it.
My wife and I had decided that for my in-laws 30th wedding anniversary I would try to buy the companies they were working for since they would both work well with my other companies, because they complained about having to work long hours to keep up their lifestyle, they’re not rich but they have done well for themselves in their respective careers.
I actually succeeded in purchasing both companies at a very fair price, and we set our plan in motion to surprise my in-laws when everything was official by inviting them for dinner. But all hell broke loose before we could tell them the good news.
My in-laws told us that their companies have been bought and that they heard that their new boss was a young kid who didn’t know what he was doing, but just had a lot of daddies money. I don’t know if it was stress or what but they then started to berate me for not earning enough money to support my wife and them, and they said that they wouldn’t blame my wife for cheating on me and divorce me. That made my wife’s blood boil and she told their parents that their companies have been bought by me and that ever since we’ve been Married I had supported my wife so that she could work her dream job for free in a non profit that helps victims of abuse. She told them to leave and not to contact us.
Since then my wife had begged me to finally stick it to her parents and fire both of them, but I told her I couldn’t just do that unless I wanted to get sued for unlawful termination, but I worked with my business consultant to find a way to get rid of them, and today we announced that both their departments had been made redundant and would be shut down in 2 months.
My in-laws were rightfully angry and came by the house after work to yell at me, but I didn’t entertain their tantrum, so they just broke down and said that if we just told them how rich I were they would never have treated me so bad, but I just told them to leave and said that they should consider liking people for who they were and not the size of their wallet.
So AITA?

When a thief wants to steal from you in broad daylight, they first look for a distraction. As long as you are focused and sensitive to the slightest touch, the thief will not be able to take anything from you. Usually, they identify the pocket holding the money. If the money is in the left pocket they tap you on the right shoulder while they slip their hands into your left pocket and take your money, unnoticed.
A hen is usually a harmless animal until you try to steal one of her chicks or come too close to them for her comfort. She is willing to stand against you no matter how big or tall you are. So if you wanted to steal one of her chicks without a fight, how would you go about it?
While you are busy focusing all your energy, time, effort, and attention on pursuing that goal, he is busy taking away from you the things that actually matter, those things that if not stopped can change the world into a better place.
For some time in the past, a husband and a wife would agree to assume certain responsibilities in the marriage. The Husband will go to work and make money for the upkeep of the house. The wife will stay at home and handle the upkeep of the house including raising the children. As long as this agreement was not broken, the children were always fully taken care of and the devil had no way of influencing the children negatively. Every bad behavior and negative influence was quickly detected and dealt with. The parents had control of how the children would turn out in life.
Then one day, a little voice whispered into the ears of the wife, “You are being cheated!” “You can also make as much money as your husband, and even more than your husband.” “You are wasting your life raising children while your husband gets to live up to his full potential by having a career.” “What if something happened to him, how will you take care of the children?”
The wife listened to this voice. She got herself a full-time job and handed over her responsibilities to a strange woman. And while she was busy at work competing with her husband, guess who was left exposed for the taking, and guess who came to collect?
When a couple starts having disagreements and fights, it is because the devil is looking to steal their children. He is not interested in the wife or the husband. The prize is the children, and he wants both of them to be distracted.
Let the husband know that when a snake holds his gaze at a frog, it is not because the frog is handsome or pretty, the snake is just being a snake and frogs are what they eat. He should not think that he has suddenly become more handsome and that is why those ladies are throwing themselves at him. The same technique has been used severally to destroy many homes. I asked a young wife who was spying on her husband to gather evidence of cheating to process him for divorce while she was doing this, who was speaking to her children at home, and if she was sure that when she got back home the children she left behind will be the same kids she will meet on her return.
Think of the hen with her chicks. As long as she is vigilant no one can steal her chicks from her. But if she were to be distracted what then?

I am a CFA charter holder, and, in another life, I was a Private Banker with a large MNC bank across various geographies. This post is after a discussion with a close friend who is an MD in one of the bulge brackets in Singapore and trades equity for their proprietary desk.
We can divide the trading/ investing in the stock market on the basis of

1. Time - High frequency ( extremely short term), day trading, momentum trading, long term investing ( ideally 5+ years but can be as low as 1+)
   
2. Information - How fast do you get information and are able to trade on it. Both these are important. The faster you are the better you are for shorter term trades.
   
3. Infrastructure - This can range from having leased lines for getting information and executing trades faster to having Bloomberg terminal or proprietary software to carry out calculations.
   
4. Knowledge - Complex instruments like options require you to have deep knowledge of calculus. There is a reason why physics phds are in high demand on wallstreet. While for investing longer term you need to know how to read financial statements and make judgements on the same.
   

In a war, the most important decision is choose where you want to fight. Similarily in investing you need to carefully choose the segment you want to trade/ invest in. You should ideally have some advantage or at least not be severely disadvantaged as compared to competition. Investing is a zero sum game. For you to make money, somebody has to lose.
Segments

• HFT/Options Trading - All hedge funds and bulge brackets have large teams focussing on different trading instruments. They have leased lines to exchanges, a team of quants to build models and strategies, access to multiple information tools, ability to execute the trades at a fast speed. Add to that the quantum of money they play with, they have the capacity to move the market in a way to favour their positions. Going on the other side of trade from them is fighting a 21st century army with bow and arrows. There may be times you may still win. But you will rarely win consistently.
  
• Day trading/ Momentum trading - More of a hedge fund and propetiery game. The ability to get information faster than the competition is the deciding factor. In non efficient markets ( which are nearly all the emerging markets) - there is massive information arbitrage. The decision makers are small, they know each other or have a good handle on when information would be out ( even if there is no insider trading). Without having access to this information, playing in this segment is not for retail. You will have better success than option trading but it can be attributable to skill for a very few.
  
• Long term investing - Since the time period is long, the ability to act on information immediately is less of a deciding factor. What matters here is - your ability to understand the business, understand the financial statements, understand the factors which affect the business and most importantly understand the ability of the management. Reading annual reports, financial statements and analyst call transcripts is important factor. A buy side house like mutual fund might still have an edge but if you are diligent, you can make right picks over a period of time.
  

Things for people who are new to stock markets

1. Learn to read financial statements - If you are completely new, pick up 11th and 12th standard commerce NCERT books and learn how are financial statements made. Then pick up a company and try to read its financial statements. For the terms you do not understand google them. Investopedia articles are good source to understand definitation. Use Chat GPT/ Perplexity to ask questions. Go line by line and see if you are able to understand a story of why things moved in a particular way.
   
2. Understand the business of the stock you are investing in - Read the annual report. Look at investor presentation. Both of these are available on company website under investor section and also on NSE/ BSE websites. After reading try to write down on a page what have you understood about a business. Only invest in businesses you understand. Do not rely on tips. Always think by the time the tip has come to you, the stock might have risen so much that it is over valued.
   
3. Read analyst call reports - Available on website and NSE/ BSE. They give you an idea about how the institutional players are thinking. How the management is thinking and what is the future scenario of the business. While financial statements tell you about the past, analyst call reports give you an insight in the future.
   
4. Be skeptical - Every stock is a no until it is a yes. Use this for every tip, every time you read a report, every financial statements or any presentation. Ask question why is it so good, what can go wrong and how can I be cheated? Only when you are fully convinced that you have found a good bet where you know the business, are convinced of growth prospects, understand the risk and are convinced of price then invest. The idea is not to be fast but to make money ( not lose).
   
5. Understand a good business might be at a bad price - Be mindful of the price you are getting in at. Good businesses might be overvalued and you may lose money. Understand the ratios and be aware of the risk you are taking. This does not mean not to invest in high P/E or businesses who have given great returns but more to understand the risk and your tolerance if things move south.
   
6. Diversify! Diversify! Diversify - Across asset classes/ across risk weights. Donot go all in on anything. The world is complex. You may lose everything.
   
7. Have patience - If you have decided to invest after research. Revisit it only after a year. Nothing good comes by looking at your portfolio everyday.
   

If you have reached here, thank you! This post may be disregarded as rantings of a milleneal but I just wanted to share my perspective after seeing many people disappointed on this forum losing money trading options or relying on tips.

I cannot say names for the sake of my family member's child and family members pricicy, although I will call the main family member B, and her husband J, while their kid will be K. So my name is L, and I have an aunt who's name is B. Her and her husband have been together for a very very long time, married for 16 years. (but off and on for about 8 years before marriage, and she met him when she was 14. She is now in her 40’s.) I should also mention that J has a friend who we will call T for the sake of this story. T also has a wife, and 3 children. T comes into play later. Now, I would like to begin by saying that while J had no job, B was the one making all of the money and supporting everything that J did, with his friends or without them, using all of the money that she made or what he was given by the state. B has a lot of health issues and has to take what some would call a cocktail of pills to manage the pain that she deals with. B has some serious medical issues, along with having kidney and liver issues, appendicitis, and kidney stones. All of these things are what caused her to stop being the sole breadwinner for the household. Once J became the money maker, he would refuse to give her the money that she would need for basic necessities such as body wash, shampoo, or food that would have been used for B and their child K. B had suspicion that J was cheating on her, but never confronted him about it because she wanted to believe that he wouldn't do that to her. (He was in fact cheating, and B later found out that he was cheating with many of the people that she had thought were her “girlfriends” but this has a point too.) One of the days that he was “at work” and B was at home with K, she took her usual cocktail of pills that got her through the day. Previously to this event, J had installed cameras all around the inside and outside of the house, because B was caught stealing shampoo and body wash for K. His reasoning for putting the cameras up was so that B wouldn’t steal anything from him, even though she was stealing because he would not provide the necessary funds so that his wife and child could have their bodies washed. Despite this B was able to hide this from her child, and keep her child unaware of anything that her father was having her mother do. Now, B takes the pills, but this day she had been cleaning the house so she hadn’t had time to eat or drink much. She takes the pills on a damn near empty stomach and about five minutes later she passes out on the kitchen floor. Now of course J sees this on the cameras and does the bare minimum of leaving “work” and calling 911 for his wife. Although when the ambulance came to pick B up, he didn’t ask if she was okay. He didn’t go with her to the hospital, nore did he take their child to go see her mother while she was in the hospital. Instead B was met with the locks on her doors being changed (although her name is also on the lease with her husband), along with her not even having the glasses or shoes that she would normally wear. The only thing she was left with was her phone, not anything else. Then J only proceeds to let her come back and live with him because her kid misses her, and because she is taking care of J’s father. J’s family constantly talks badly about B to her kid, and among themselves. Now back to J’s friend T. J and T have hooked up a multitude of times in the bed that J and B once shared together. Along with constantly harassing B for pictures and videos of sexual things, and asking repeatedly for threesomes with J and T, and making advances on her even when she didn’t want them. J likes to pressure B into “putting out” for him, and when she refuses to do so, he calls her horrible names, a bad mother, and kicks her out of the place that they share all over again. J also likes to comment and harass B on the “other boyfriends” that she has, although she has never been with anyone but him. And when she is gone, picking me up from friends' houses or getting food for and or with me, he likes to text her non-stop, and locks the door on her if she has been out too long. Now I would like to mention that what J is doing to B has damaged her mentality strongly, and has severely impacted the way that she sees herself. She does not want to fight him for the sake of her child, but I care for her deeply and know that she nor her child deserve to be in such a dangerous environment with such a hostile person. I know that she wants to leave, but she is afraid that J will destroy her. How can I help her?

Posting here bc I feel like therapy wouldn’t help. I am a 29 year old male and I feel like I’ve grown up to be a horrible person and my entire life is a lie.
I am just venting and typing my thoughts as they come. I have no idea if any of this shit will make sense to any of you and I doubt this thread gets any attention. I have no plans on proof reading this. Just raw thoughts and emotions on how I feel right now.
I have lied about so many things to so many people and I’ve taken advantage of people who care about me. I don’t know what to do anymore because I’m tired of being like this. My mom, dad, and now fiance have sent me tens of thousands of dollars because I’m horrible with my finances, despite working in a financial field. I have found myself in over $50,000 of credit card debt that can’t possibly hope to ever pay back. Yet everyone around me thinks I’m doing so well for myself and that I’m so well off. In reality I am a broke loser.
I JUST proposed to my girlfriend of 10 years yesterday in the Bahamas (my aunt paid for the majority of the trip because I didn’t feel comfortable with some of the prices because I’m $50k in debt, another example of taking advantage of someone I love). I feel like she said yes only because she feels trapped. She is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, but I have lied and cheated and caused her so much pain through manipulation that I can’t imagine she said yes because she loves me, but only because she feels like she has to. I believe to this point, I have been an emotional abuser and I don’t know how much longer I can live with my guilt over how I’ve treated her
My parents have only shown me love and support my entire life, yet growing up I resented them for not letting me do basically whatever I wanted. To this day, they still love and support me in the same way, and I feel so bad that I’ve had to ask them for money to help me make ends meet. They deserve so much better than the fuck up of a son they have. They raised me to be better than this, and all I do is lie, cheat, and steal my way through life.
I feel the world would be better off without someone who has lived as selfishly as I’ve lived. What should I do?

My GF holds my card and ID when we go out because I don’t want to lose my whole wallet and she has a backpack or fanny pack to keep it secure. We take turns buying drinks and what not. I told my GF to get us drinks because she got us drinks last night while I was buying food we can share.
There was plenty of bartenders open to give us drinks at concession stands but I see that my card is now in her sister’s hand, which she handed to her sister in a sneaky way. I feel she thinks I’m looking away from the bar but that’s not the case. Her sister is keeping the card underneath her cellphone, which again to me seems weird as you’re about to use it.
(Her sister nickel and dimes her for everything. Always penny pinching her and I’ve seen her siblings try to get over on one another for things. They always want receipts with one another and totals split down the middle, they always question if one is ripping the other one off, etc.)
I see her sister get a beer with my card and a drink I wanted. My GF would never drink the drink that her sister ordered. It wasn’t ridiculous ($18) but upset over principle. I see her sister hand it sneakily back as they get super close and do a minimal handoff with their arms short to her side.
I wait for her sister to walk ahead and said to my GF “this whole situation was really fucking sketchy” I am calm but talking in a serious tone, not yelling. I have been drinking but I am not going to cause a scene.
She said "what?"
Me: “I said this whole situation that just happened is really sketchy to me, I feel super uncomfortable”
GF: You just got your drink, whats the problem?”
Me” Why was she hiding my card under her cellphone while I was close to her and then why did she hand it back to you like she was sneaky. Ive been drinking a bit but I am not stupid, do not call me stupid”
GF tries to play it off and says “My sister bought you a drink last night”
Me: what drink did she buy me? No one bought me a drink yesterday, except for you when I got food to eat, you went in line by yourself to get us food”
I was not buying it at all, I recall things very well, I have great memory and I have always told her to not challenge me on this stuff this stuff because I remember most things pretty well. She gets annoyed and says “you’re right all the time” and I usually laugh it off and say “ I told you not to go against my memory” and we go on about our day. Its usually because there is a text message or someone else that confirms what was said or done that proves I am write. Lol. I’m not a dick about it, she just wants to challenge and I have fun with it… whatever. No biggie.

She later on by the stage at the concert says “I’m sorry for ruining the night” but doesn’t say she lied and says later “Ill pay you for her drink” She reaches to grab my hand by putting her hand in my pocket and I pull away and “I’m mad at you, you lied to me” She then waits a few minutes, cries, I let her sulk for a bit before I come behind to hug her because I think its good to sit in her actions/feeling for a bit, then I hug from behind and said “I don’t ever care if we fuck up, I only care that we get better from our mistakes.” She is still crying and I sort of mellowed out then I realize again…my gf just lied to me, stole from me, her sister was in on it. How can I trust these people? I thought we were all a squad and just in for a good time together. I’m hurt. 3 days later (today) I am still hurt.
Today, I recalled another night we went out a month ago where I walked up to the bar and I saw my card in the machine paying for her drink but I did not get one…she than sat the drink down on the bar which eventually fell off and spilled all over her. I laughed and said I am publicly announcing that I am taking $20 from your wallet for buying that drink without telling me and getting caught ( I laughed and reminded her that Karma will be served as a joke. This is all from a month ago and I never took money from her)
She grabs me to take me away from her sistepartner. We sit down because she wanted to talk and she starts crying more. II said if “we have no trust, we have jack shit in our relationship. Ive never had this happen to me”
She then goes to tell me what happened yesterday…
GF: "You bought food with your card, then I bought drinks with my card"
Me: I throw my hands up in the air and said “You just ratted yourself out” She cries more…. I said “She didn’t buy me one drink, she nickel and times you, your whole family does, I always try to protect you from them and I try to help you save your money, your energy, the non-reciprocated behavior and be better off in general. I have never took from you, you could of asked me and I wouldn’t of batted an eye because we were having a good time but you didn’t ask. This isn’t about $18 or getting paid back. This is such a stupid thing to do to and its over $18, which is even dumber"
She cries more, I let it roll off for the rest of the night, the next day we’re checking into a hotel. Im on the side holding our bags and she Venmo’s me a random $100 while in the check-in line. I said "why did you did do that; I owe you money”
GF: “I owe you for stuff”
That was end f that convo. It felt like pitty/I fucked up money
Now that we’re home, I think she thinks its under the rug. BUT I am now stewing on it but not bringing it up because I don’t want the week to be weird when we talk and I won’t see her until Friday plus I am having a bad week at work.
I want to bring up that trust is broken right now, that her past behaviors Ive heard about from 15 years ago from her siblings/parents, to a few years ago with other issues, to last month and a couple days ago are all the same scenarios…. her cheating others out of money. She says she loves me so much and she has shown me love that no other woman has ever showed me…. Again, I truly feel that way but I am also feeling super off about this right now so I am letting myself mellow out before I address anything…
I feel betrayed, I will never let her hold my wallet again. I am trying to buy a house with her, have a family, do all of these big things with her. This thing is really making me wonder now how many times has she got me…. It so freaking dumb, the whole thing but we’re talking principle here…nothing more. I never want her to hold my money or any of my stuff again. I lost a friend in the process of all of this because my best friend disowned me for us wanting to date. Not sure what to do. My friendship is gone and I am OK with it as I was growing away anyways,
I want everything 50/50 now and do not want to let my guard down for now, or want any extravagant gifts from her again if I am not willing to match it. She has a thing for over spending and over doing things. While I tend to be more money conscious. I would prefer to correct any financial imbalance we have in our relationship to leave things equal.
How should I approach this? Am I valid for how I feel, despite how stupid this all is? I think its dumb as heck but again principle. ie: Cheating on me cant be forgiven because you allow me cheat 5x on you for the 1x you cheated since you got caught. Like the $18 beer you stole and lied about then sent me a $100 never made it OK in the first place.
I feel I should tell her how I feel, what I saw and then be quiet and let her see if she can own her mistake and navigate from there.
I tried exceptionally hard to be factual, and say what I feel vs what was said/seen, I am sorry it is so long too.
TIA!

One of my friend was in a casual relationship with a boy . She was around 22yr old and he was around 27 at that time. That man loves her but sometimes he used to treat and bully her like a slave. He was having a some issues in past and due to which he used to drink a lot. After drinking his personality changes into some cruel bastard. He used to sometimes beat her girlfriend also he used to beat his friends and scream and create lot's of chaos. But the next day when he's out of his hangover he used to behave normal and used to apologise to everybody, infact he begs before everyone and accept his mistakes. But then again he used to drink and repeat the same. According to me I consider this kind of person as psychopath, who's mentally ill and who needs to consult a psychiatrist. This person also used to have high sex urge. He used to have sex with multiple females while dating some one. After that when he was caught or someone accused him of cheating or something then he used to say that he's not doing this, somebody else doing this and used to blame his alter personality, which he consider it as some demonic creature inside him who came out of him time to time. He also used abuse his sister and sometimes he also brings girls , manipulate them ,had sex with them and then asked money from them by saying that his salary has been due or something or there's an issue with his bank account. There were so many wrong things going on with this person but he never accept his wrong doing and also never used change himself. So what do you all think of this person what kind of problem is going on with this person and what's his actual personality is???

Been playing for a few weeks or going the reviews and warnings but they all came true. Overcharged my card, miss scored tournaments, didn’t pay us out, banned us after we withdrew a little bit of money even though we still have money in our account, they cancelled the pending payment requests which was over $100. No cheating or boosting was involved. Dale Moore also works for them, he’s fake as well as a lier.

It's stupid to think I'm at this point but here I am. My stbx wife (28F) and I (29M) have wanted kids for years and we're thrilled when she finally got pregnant last year. From day one I wanted to be the most supportive husband and future father I could. Her father was never involved in her life. I used to work as a tech in labor and delivery, and my brother to put it kindly is not the most involved father. I saw too many problems up close when it came to lacking husband's, and I would be damned before I made the same mistakes
The problem is roughly 4 weeks into her pregnancy everything started going downhill

• She stopped wanting sex. Fair enough. Hormones and stress make that a problem I went full stop. But then she didn't want any physical interaction. No cuddling, no kissing, slowly becoming more and more distant

-Her eating constantly changed and she was terrible about it. She would demand I get her something all day then the moment I give it to her she wants something else, screaming at me. OK, again, hormonal issues I get it no problem

• she never let me to go any appointments, no groups she went to, spent more time away

-became cold and bitter. Constantly angry at me. This went on for months
-slapped me a couple times when I forgot one of her dozens of tasks she assigned me during the day. Stopped doing anything for the house a month into the pregnancy. Sure, she's pregnant, I get it moving around is hard, but she wouldn't even do laundry about 4 weeks in and by 5 weeks I did everything. I'm also the primary source of income. I barely sleep. im running on fumes.
-made me sleep in the guest room. Would always try and pick fights. I never once raised my voice, my hand, or my tone. I sat there and constantly mentally reminded myself this isn't her and this would all be worth it
-she didn't want me to make any baby decisions. No name, no work on the nursery, nothing
One month before she delivered, she yelled how fucking useless I am and how I don't do anything and that she's staying with her mother. She didn't let me get her anything, come check on her, threatened to divorce me and get a restraining order if I even called her
A couple weeks back, I found out about the birth of my son from a Facebook post. She posted it with her mother and some family. It fucking broke me. I tried to go to the hospital and visit. They had security kick me out.
After months of outright hatred, anger and abuse thrown at me 24/7, I fucking had it. Odds are im not even on the birth certificate. I opened a new account and all my deposits go there. I took half out of our joint account. She never bought baby stuff ahead of time, who knows what that money was going towards, so now that she has to buy supplies for our son she's used up every cent
I've gotten a lawyer. The house is mine, I'm the only one who spent money on it in any way. I've sent the rest of her stuff to her mother's house. I'm demanding a paternity test. Im not spending another damn cent until I get verification it's my son. Im absolutely divorcing her. She chose the stay at home life, if she cheated she's screwed. Her mother has money for a couple week stay, not even close to enough for full time support. If he is my son, I will absolutely be getting my rights as a father for a relationship.
Last week, my stbx called. She was practically hyperventilating. She wanted to come home. She was crying how it was all a mistake. She's not staying with her mother. She's at a friend's house. She wants to come home. She wants our son to have his father. I told her I don't fucking believe he is my son. Why the fuck would she pull this shit if he is? Show me a paternity test, and I'll do everything I can for him, and him only.
She wants to meet tomorrow at a park so I can talk to her. I said sure, so I can finally say everything I should have said months ago to her face. My parents are hoping we can make up, but they absolutely understand if I won't. My brother is a deadbeat jackass so I don't care what he has to say, but my sister thinks I should at least hear her out

So first thing first. She is 28 and I’m 26. She never admitted to cheating but she admitted she loved another man. My gf of 5 years who had nothing before she met me I brought her to another country from a very poor one just recently cheated on me. She never saw me depressed or anything, only this one time. She was depressed to because of her family and because she lost her job. I couldn’t really listen to her since I was in a bad place too… she thought I was cheating so she started to talk about her problems with her boss an almost 50 years old bald dude with money ( I’m a stud, built like a Greek god but I guess you can never understand a woman). (It wasn’t really a job, we are athletes so it was a sponsor of some kind) I saw the red flags confronted her but she always lied and gaslighted. I grabbed her phone one time and she panicked… she started to post pics in WhatsApp stories what she never did before… and the sex, it became shallow just as our conversations. She tried to make me feel guilty the whole time because in her head it was my fault we didn’t talk as much as before. But I begged her more than once to talk with me, I even had a fight with about that. She didn’t really care. So after this she told me she has to meet this guy because they are making new partners to the supplement store. She told me they are going to sleep in a hotel, I told her immediately that’s not going to happen. I made some free time so I could come with her. Now she was stressed, and kept asking where I’m gonna be what I’m gonna do during the meetings. They had two… because apparently I wasn’t allow to come since I wasn’t a sponsored athlete of theirs. So they first met with a woman the took an hour at least then the road trip back to the city took 20 mins longer. And where they’ve met this another guy who was a potential athlete, they needed something like 20 mins to find a parking slot. On the way back she was absence, like completely didn’t reply to messages, nothing. This guy got 20 mins of their time and the meeting was done. I went to get her, and her boss very clearly made some shallow comments about my flaws. Which only she knew, and one of those flaws was basically my depression because he meant a lack of ambition( I’m a pro athlete myself so you know….). After that the guy touched her shoulder gently and asked since how long are we together. She had some bags in the guys cars but she didn’t want to go get it. I wonder why. After we went to our motel she told me she is very tired and went to take a bath. We came back home and I confronted her, where she first lied than said she is in love with him. Yeah I felt crushed. She said she didn’t have sex with the guy just listened to her problems with family, etc… almost 3 months long I asked. I droppped her out but my love was so strong I wanted to believe her. She was my partner, she always stood by me, that’s what I thought. Then I realized she is trying to manipulate me even further even threatens suicide because I didn’t want to go home. I asked her to show me the messages to which she replied she didn’t want to hurt me anymore I should just trust her… lol. She ended up deleting them but I told her I can hack her phone and I could see anxiety kicking in and she remained silence. So eventually I gave her a chance and started to ask questions. She was always very disturbed by it and got angry every time but I kept asking because her story wasn’t adding up. And I realized she tries to manipulate me even further with let’s make a child and shit like that. She tried to deny that they were even flirting or sex texting or that she was even attracted to him. I mean come on…. So we had sex after a while, and she started all of sudden massaging my balls. Never asked her to do something like that so it hit me…. She lied over and over again. She told her family what she did but of course until this day never once admitted that she had Sex. She was stupid enough to say things to me like: “I thought I need to go home to my parents and start everything all over again” and “I looked up how much money I can make back home and it’s devastating” etc…. So I dropped her eventually. Never saw this face of her but I guess better sooner than later. She is now devastated and cries how much she loves me. Her family of course buys her bullcrap and I’m the bad guy somehow. She thinks I’m going to forgive her one day.
All in all it hurts, she didn’t have an orgasm before me or had another dick in her mouth before me. And our sex life was wild from ass to mouth we did everything. I stood by her side when she was fighting with sickness and her family didn’t give a damn, I gave her a new life with new opportunities, so she doesn’t have to live home with parents. And I supported her emotionally the whole time even during my depression where she contacted her real father. I helped her battle all of her childhood trauma. And in the end she treated me like garbage. I remained a gentlemen because of myself and helped and still helping her get her stuff back home because her family doesn’t seem to bother. And I want her out of my life. It’s not nice to feel this way but she deserves her fucked up life because without me she can’t even get some paperwork done.
I dodged a bullet here, I and everyone out there with the same situation deserves better.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/user posting in offmychest
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Long
Original - 19th February 2023
Update - 21st May 2024
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I (26f) just found out I’m pregnant after having revenge sex with the fiancé (35m) of the girl (30f) who my ex boyfriend(32m) cheated on me with for 2 years.
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My ex and I met when I was 20 but were only friends until we started dating 2 1/2 years ago. I found out last year that my ex had been cheating on me for basically our whole relationship with a girl he met through a mutual friend. I broke things off after I found out and told the girl’s fiancé about their affair, he ended up breaking off their engagement after he found out and she seemed nonchalant about it until she realized that my ex’s money wasn’t actually his (my grandma left me a lot after she passed back in 2019 and my ex had been flaunting around the things I’d gifted him throughout our relationship to her, even going as far as to claim that the house and antique car my grandpa left for me in his will were my ex’s).
It’s not something I’m proud of now that I think back to it, but I did allow my ex to walk all over me for the first month or two after I broke things off because I missed him so much, I gave him money and tried to make things work but would always get reprimanded by my parents and friends when I’d run to them crying after he ghosted me for her, I didn’t officially give him up until the girl’s ex fiancé messaged me and told me that she was rubbing it in some of their old friends’ faces about how pathetic I was and how desperate I was for my ex who didn’t even give an f about me. I was really upset and asked him if he’d be willing to meet up with me because I knew that if I talked to my parents or friends about this, then they’d just lecture me even more. He agreed and the two of us met up at a random food cart place, we ended up spending most of the day just exploring and talking about how we were doing.
He’d also confided in me about his relationship with his ex, they’d known each other for 10 years and they’d liked each other for most of the time they were friends but he wasn’t looking for a relationship because he was focusing on school. He had decided to give them a chance after she’d driven 12+hrs overnight to him because they’d talked on the phone and he said he was feeling under the weather and was stressed from how vigorous his residency schedule was. She’d dropped everything to take care of him, help clean his place, and made him some home cooked meals after finding out that he was surviving off of vending machine snacks and instant coffee. He told me in detail about how he’d never felt so loved and cared for, how after she’d done that for him, he’d decided that she was the one; that if this wasn’t love, then love wasn’t real. Finding out that she was cheating for the last two years made everything click into place, she’d been pushing off getting married, telling all her friends that she was having doubts about him. He’d been trying to convince her into going to couple’s counseling when I broke the news to him that she was sleeping with my ex.
I felt like a monster, hearing their love story and then realizing that they didn’t get their happy ending because of my ex and I messed with my head. We continued to talk from time to time, checking in on each other and meeting up for quick bite every now and then, we lost contact after the girl my ex cheated on me with somehow convinced him to take her back. I became slightly depressed after he cut me off, explaining to me that he was still in love with her and wanted to work things out, which meant a clean slate.
I found out through some internet snooping that my ex cheated on her too, which was why she went back to her ex fiancé. A few months passed and things went back to semi-normal, I started getting therapy and was about ready to put myself back out there to try out the dating pool again when around new years I got a call from the guy, he was crying and asking if I was available to talk, I of course said yes and out of concern met up with him at his place. He broke down to me and told me about how he’d found her and my ex in his mom’s guest bedroom during Christmas when she’d snuck him in for a quickie during his family’s busy holiday party, all hell broke loose when he’d found them in the guest bedroom after spending 20mins looking for her everywhere. We drank a bit and ended up having sex, he apologized and told me that it was a mistake and he wasn’t in his right mind, that he just wanted revenge sex but it didn’t make him feel any better after. I tried to message him platonically a few times after to see if he was alright but he blocked me, so I dropped it and went on with my therapy and life. I went in last week to check with my doctor since I’d been getting bad cramps and to get a new prescription refill for my birth control that I use to help with my PCOS, I had to do a usual test to double check for the possibility if I was pregnant and was very surprised when it came back positive.
I have been sitting on this new knowledge and have been contemplating on if I should tell him, not tell him, or if I should even keep the pregnancy. My doctor did inform that since I am still in the earlier stages I am still at a big risk of having a miscarriage, so I don’t know if I should even be worrying at all about all of this since there is a chance that I could lose it, and then it’d just seem like I was trying to grab at his attention or something, especially after he’d made it clear to me that he wasn’t comfortable talking to me anymore after we slept together. I haven’t told anyone and have been going crazy because I don’t know what to do.
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Comments
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LostArm7817
God you’re all idiots. Also that’s not what revenge sex is.
[deleted]
Yeah that was self pity sex.
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Update - 15 months later
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A lot has happened since my original post.
I know a lot of people were against this, but I went through with the pregnancy and I am forever thankful for my beautiful baby. I had originally planned to get an abortion, but I found myself unable to go through with the appointment. (I am pro-choice and always will be. Just because I chose to keep my baby doesn’t mean another woman/girl should be forced to keep a pregnancy they do not wish to continue. Everyone has a right to their own bodies.)
My parents were very upset with me and my whole family disowned me. I listened to what some of you said about letting the father know (will be referring to him as ‘D’), after many failed attempts to reach out to him I decided to go in person. D was not happy when I showed up at his place but when I told him why, he agreed to talk with me. D let me know that he’d officially ended things with his ex and wanted to go no contact with me because I was another tie to his past with her, but he was willing to try and figure out a co-parenting plan with me if I agreed to a paternity test first.
I of course felt a bit bad about the paternity test part but agreed to it since we both had only been acquaintances that bonded over our trauma. Everything was honestly easy cruising until I started to spot around the 26 week mark, my OBGYN explained that while spotting is normal while pregnant, mine was heavier and my blood sugablood pressure also both worried them because of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia risk.
After a few nights of D insisting on sleeping on my couch, I had him help me move some of my things to his place since he lived closer to the hospital. I am very thankful I decided to semi-move in with him when I did bc I went into premature labor at 32 weeks. I am very thankful to have had D and his family as my support system; his mom would come and switch out with him at the hospital and advocated for me whenever I felt washed out or unheard, she helped me both emotionally and physically and stood by me.
D’s mom also helped me work through my emotions when all I wanted was my mom (she and my dad had gone no contact with me after I decided to keep and have my baby). D’s mom was an absolute godsend also because she’s a retired nurse (she started in OB, went to NICU and eventually later settled into lactation before retiring) and explained things to me when we found out that my baby had respiratory problems and had SUA (single umbilical artery) and that it could’ve been a factor into why I went into premature labor.
She stayed with D and I so she could help me with pumping since I wasn’t able to produce milk and encouraged me when I felt like such a failure for not being able to take care of my son when he needed me most, she drove me to and from the hospital while my son was in the NICU because I was healing and so mentally/physically exhausted. I really and truly believe that I didn’t fall into deep postpartum depression because she held me and helped me with each step and was always so patient with me, even when I wasn’t with myself. D’s mom would constantly remind me that nothing was our fault and no one did anything wrong, it just that everyone is faced with hardships in life and this was one we’d work together to get through.
My son graduated from the NICU and came home a month after I did, D’s mom visited us often and helped with him since D and I are first time parents. D’s dad joked that he felt like she and I had the baby together and he and D were both just background characters that make guest star appearances every now and then since D was working so much in order to build more PTO and his mom wouldn’t bring his dad along when she’d come visit since she didn’t want him to disturb me and the baby with his loudness (D’s dad is hard of hearing and can sometimes be unaware of his volume so he took no offense to it).
D’s siblings and family members posted a lot about our son because he was the first grandchild and first baby in a long time, D’s youngest cousin is 17 (turning 18 this year). Somehow someone must’ve shared a photo or something, but pictures of us reached my family and my parents demanded I let them meet my son. D was supportive of whatever I chose to do and said he’d agree to them meeting him if that’s what I wanted.
After thinking about it for a few days I decided that I wanted to talk to my parents before I let them meet my son; when we met up to talk, my parents were offended that I didn’t bring my son with us and left him with D’s parents, they said some really hurtful things and then my dad started to question on when D was going to ask him for permission for us to get married since we didn’t already have a shotgun wedding while I was pregnant. I was okay with them insulting me since I’d grown up with it and was used to it, but once my parents put their target on D and his family I became upset and decided it was time for us to leave.
My parents did try to petition for legal visitation rights (honestly, before this whole ordeal, I did not even know that grandparents rights existed), but were denied because my son is still very young and because both D and I are very much on good terms, are living in the same household, and they couldn’t find or prove that there was any danger to our son’s wellbeing.
My family did try to reach out to us and claim that we were horrible people for denying my parents their grandchild, but no one ever seemed to be able to make a peep when D’s family would defend us and point out that my family had been the one to disown me and that no one cared to see if I was okay until after I had the baby and everything was handled. D’s mom and my mom got in a verbal (almost physical) altercation after my mom had made false reports to cps and called the police to do multiple welfare checks on us, my mom was given a warning by the police for harassing us after one specific incident where she threw a tantrum and caused a scene when the police found nothing wrong in the welfare check and refused to listen to her demands to have my son temporarily taken away from us and put in her custody ‘for his safety’. D and I currently have restraining orders pending against my parents and certain family members.
One of the reasons I decided to update is because about two months ago a friend of D’s asked him out to have some drinks and they ran into his ex-fiancée who later messaged him to tell him that she regretted the way they ended and how she was very hurt when she heard that we had a baby together, especially with it being so soon after their relationship. D wouldn’t talk to me about how he felt, and when I asked him he just brushed me off or switched the conversation onto a topic about our son that he knew would distract me.
I noticed D pulling away from me and how our relationship became a bit awkward and strained after their run in and her message because I know he still has feelings for her and I am afraid that he might feel trapped with me and our son. I also noticed that the drama with my family has made D and his family less patient with me and my son, during Mother’s Day I overheard a few of his family members make comments to D about me being at their family barbecue since ‘I was just my son’s mom’ and ‘not really’ part of the family, D just shrugged and said I didn’t have anyone else to spend the day with.
With how tense things have been, I have been thinking about moving out and back into my place. I stayed with D at his place after I gave birth, but now that our son is slightly older and I am healed, I want to give D back some space so that he can start dating again if he wants to and to give him back some more ‘bachelor’ time when I have our son. I want to find a way to approach me moving out and us making a coparenting plan without making making things more awkward or possibly ruining the relationship I have with D and his parents, I don’t want them to feel like I’m not grateful or anything, but I do want to go back to work and get my life back on track so that I can provide my portion of needs for my son and not want to depend on his family for more than appropriate.
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Comments
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Candid-Quail-9927
Be honest and tell him exactly what you said here that it’s time for you to start to get your life back on track and also give him back his life. That you will always be coparents and how special and important his parents are to you and your son. Tell him that you want a health relationship with him as your sons father and wish him the best same as he would for you. Just be honest as you find your new normal.
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Dear_Parsnip_6802
I think he will most likely appreciate you moving out and things getting back to a co-parenting situation. I don't think he will take offence or feel you are ungrateful. At the end of the day you are doing it to benefit him and his family.
Your son is lucky to have 2 parents who love him and who have a mutually respectful relationship.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hello, fellow Redditors, im a 19,f who moved outta my parents house and wanted to be an independent individual, Life has thrown me into a whirlwind, and I’m struggling to find my bearings. Here’s my unfiltered truth: Friendship Fallout: My best friend recently broke up with her boyfriend, leaving her shattered. I’m torn—I want to be there for her, but I’m also dealing with my own fresh breakup. the rest of my friends are blaming me as recently i’m not joining them for our night outs and not spending much time with that one who broke up but tbh, i didn’t informed them about my relationship and break up either…. (as i’m a fckd up keeper who can’t open up even with my friends) Parcel Predicament: A delivery guy demands payment (HUGE AMOUNT) upfront for a parcel. (it belongs to today and i’m not around that city, so as it was supposed to be COD or online transfer i could not manage to stay home for it) I’ve asked for proof of attempted delivery before sending money. but he keeps saying money comes first (i can’t fall for a scam at least not now)
Social Media Drama: A girl I barely know (ig friends who is pregnant with a scammer guy and the guy ran away from her, i think with her money) accuses me of being the other woman.( which his bf cheated on with, she thinks) i blocked her but… She’s spreading rumors, sharing my pictures to guys and old men telling them i need a bf or rich sugar daddy, and causing chaos online. i keep rejecting follow requests and blocking them from my dm’s since yesterday morning and i’m so done with it. i’m so done with being a girl who pretends she is fine and strong I’m lost. What should I do? Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated.

There are so many cheaters on my server (OCE) and every time I see a post talking about the cheater problem on this game there seems to be 5 upvotes max on it and no attention is being brought up. This is why we have a cheater problem ubisoft will never take action against it unless there is so much whining about it. I mean theres a cheater in every 3rd game for me and they always start with walls then get called out and aimbot it's a joke. Ubisoft isnt banning boosted players who play with cheaters. Meaning they keep paying cheaters for a carry and cheaters keep buying new accounts and more cheats with the money they get from the boosted players. The only other game that has a cheater issue this bad is csgo but even then thats a free game and you barely find cheaters with prime.

Hi all- I could use some outside perspective. I’ve been struggling hard for awhile, at one point was not feeling well enough to feel like I should be here but am now in therapy and it’s helping but still could really use an outside perspective on the situation and this man I was seeing. I really feel if I could understand who and what this man was it would help me move on with my life. Specifically my goals or questions:

1. understand what type of a relationship it was
2. Understand its impacts on me, specifically why the relationship had so much power over me and why it felt so strong. It felt addictive and I did things I regret. I still want him.
3. I want badly to be better for others and myself

Backstory:
I had a stable relationship with someone I love very much. I ended up cheating with a man I met a man at work (I am 26 F and he was a 42M). I’m ashamed and trying to figure out why I did it and why the relationship has so much hold over me. I’ve been truthful and I know I need help, so I entered therapy and am taking accountability to ensure I never hurt anyone again. My BF wants me to get help but believes the man was abusive. I hate myself for it and it’s no excuse. Some facts about the relationship and how it progressed
1) INTENSE: he relationship with the man started out very intense.At first I remember being very uncomfortable and unsafe … telling my BF that this man made me feel awkward. Eventually it progressed into a friendship that turned romantic. Specifically: he followed me everywhere( stalked me to a restaurant), he asked me inappropriate questions (why I was with my SO, did I want children, asked about why I was so untrusting two weeks in) he’d compliment me everyday on my appearance, I’ve never felt more adored but it was all very fast.
2) CONTROLLING: he felt so interested in everything I was doing… weird things, what prescription I was getting, where I was going, who I was meeting, was I showering before meeting him etc. all very fast
3) DEEP/ SAD: he asked so many questions and just probed so much. I opened up about my extreme SA and rape. During my breakdown about it all, all he did was compare me to his ex— saying that i did wrong by not telling someone. I was broken and weak. I rememher desperately crying— telling him I tried and that I couldn’t feel in control at 16 ( I was raped and beaten). He ignored me and and told me I was “too much” for bombarding his phone. I had problems…
4)INCONSISTENT: after the above and I had fallen for him, he told me he was disgusted by me and didn’t want me. I would pull back because I didn’t want to be a bad person but was so drawn to him. He then would drive up his interest: like a post on social media, he would compliment me obsessively, tell me he was sorry, etc. some days he was my friend and he told me things about his life and I would tell him. About my childhood of SA and abuse . He saw me and it felt good. I think I knew though that something was wrong.
5) CRUEL: eventually we hooked up— during the hookup he just stared at me with a blank look. I was triggered and just cried. He told me I deserved it because it was a hookup where I deserved nothing. I was a whore not someone he loved. After I told him I loved him— he ghosted me and treated me like the antichrist. I got so sick I tried to not be here, he said and openly didn’t care- wished me dead.
6)NEEDED ME: he got in trouble at work for sexual harassment and embezzling company money. My name was brought up and he needed me to say I wasn’t harassed because he was was a VP. I lied for him — he was still fired but he was kind again.
7) GHOST- he’s never talked to ne again after being fired. I risked my job for him.
I know I’m not a perfect or good person, I’ve been honest with my BF. I told him I didn’t mean to and I laid it all out. I don’t know why I did it and I want help. I felt like I couldn’t get out—- I was addicted. But why? You can judge me but I just need help— I want to be better . What was this? Why was it so powerful ?
Facts about the man: He openly said he lacked all empathy and compassion
He was in a foster home and we bonded over PTSD
He had ED and told me I wasn’t enough to get him off
Thanks- I know I need help. I’m working on it and I want to understand so I never do this again.

Hi all- I could use some outside perspective. I’ve been struggling hard for awhile, at one point was not feeling well enough to feel like I should be here but am now in therapy and it’s helping but still could really use an outside perspective on the situation and this man I was seeing. I really feel if I could understand who and what this man was it would help me move on with my life. Specifically my goals or questions:

1. understand what type of a relationship it was
2. Understand its impacts on me, specifically why the relationship had so much power over me and why it felt so strong. It felt addictive and I did things I regret. I still want him.
3. I want badly to be better for others and myself

Backstory:
I had a stable relationship with someone I love very much. I ended up cheating with a man I met a man at work (I am 26 F and he was a 42M). I’m ashamed and trying to figure out why I did it and why the relationship has so much hold over me. I’ve been truthful and I know I need help, so I entered therapy and am taking accountability to ensure I never hurt anyone again. My BF wants me to get help but believes the man was abusive. I hate myself for it and it’s no excuse. Some facts about the relationship and how it progressed
1) INTENSE: he relationship with the man started out very intense.At first I remember being very uncomfortable and unsafe … telling my BF that this man made me feel awkward. Eventually it progressed into a friendship that turned romantic. Specifically: he followed me everywhere( stalked me to a restaurant), he asked me inappropriate questions (why I was with my SO, did I want children, asked about why I was so untrusting two weeks in) he’d compliment me everyday on my appearance, I’ve never felt more adored but it was all very fast.
2) CONTROLLING: he felt so interested in everything I was doing… weird things, what prescription I was getting, where I was going, who I was meeting, was I showering before meeting him etc. all very fast
3) DEEP/ SAD: he asked so many questions and just probed so much. I opened up about my extreme SA and rape. During my breakdown about it all, all he did was compare me to his ex— saying that i did wrong by not telling someone. I was broken and weak. I rememher desperately crying— telling him I tried and that I couldn’t feel in control at 16 ( I was raped and beaten). He ignored me and and told me I was “too much” for bombarding his phone. I had problems…
4)INCONSISTENT: after the above and I had fallen for him, he told me he was disgusted by me and didn’t want me. I would pull back because I didn’t want to be a bad person but was so drawn to him. He then would drive up his interest: like a post on social media, he would compliment me obsessively, tell me he was sorry, etc. some days he was my friend and he told me things about his life and I would tell him. About my childhood of SA and abuse . He saw me and it felt good. I think I knew though that something was wrong.
5) CRUEL: eventually we hooked up— during the hookup he just stared at me with a blank look. I was triggered and just cried. He told me I deserved it because it was a hookup where I deserved nothing. I was a whore not someone he loved. After I told him I loved him— he ghosted me and treated me like the antichrist. I got so sick I tried to not be here, he said and openly didn’t care- wished me dead.
6)NEEDED ME: he got in trouble at work for sexual harassment and embezzling company money. My name was brought up and he needed me to say I wasn’t harassed because he was was a VP. I lied for him — he was still fired but he was kind again.
7) GHOST- he’s never talked to ne again after being fired. I risked my job for him.
I know I’m not a perfect or good person, I’ve been honest with my BF. I told him I didn’t mean to and I laid it all out. I don’t know why I did it and I want help. I felt like I couldn’t get out—- I was addicted. But why? You can judge me but I just need help— I want to be better . What was this? Why was it so powerful ?
Facts about the man: He openly said he lacked all empathy and compassion
He was in a foster home and we bonded over PTSD
He had ED and told me I wasn’t enough to get him off
Thanks- I know I need help. I’m working on it and I want to understand so I never do this again.

Hi, I never have made a post on Reddit but I’m in desperate need of support. I don’t really have anyone to talk to (besides my ex and which we are in no contact on and off randomly) We just recently broke up M(30) and I F(34) less than a month ago. We were friends for many years online and we eventually developed feelings for each other. He left his ex wife due to his feelings for me AND other issues in their relationship… it was his one and only ever relationship. They had split up twice prior to getting married. I was already on and off with my ex husband (he cheated and I tried to work through it because of new baby) so divorce was already in the works on my end. Our story is so long but I will do my best to make it make sense.
I felt terrible with how we started, and it played into a roll of how I came into the relationship. I have moved across country to be with him and the hopes of being successful in making money to afford a car of my own (ex husband’s demand was that if I take our child (who he wasn’t very involved with) was that got to keep my charger which was under his name (which I was paying for before the divorce)) Sadly, that wasn’t the case. I was there for 1.5 years and my mental health had taken a toll. I wasn’t making money, had no social life, no car, wasn’t experiencing anything except staying at home. I had kissed someone else while we weren’t together technically in my eyes before we got into a relationship. In his eyes he claimed he was devoted to me while saying he was confused on what to do between his ex wife and I at the time before I had moved across country. Which is why I thought nothing of the kiss back then. That also played a roll in our relationship to how he was coming in for me for a bit. He was considering breaking up with me because it took me 4 months (2 months after I had moved in) to admit a kiss that I didn’t think anything of (but I did regret doing right after it happened because I was in love). I DO regret keeping that from him. So that was our first talk of breakup from him…but he got over it in two months(according to him) The idea of us breaking up has been a talked about but it was mainly my unhappiness with where I was at in life. That would mean I had to break up with him and move out of state AGAIN with my 5 year old. He kept wanting to be reassuring that he loved me and wasn’t looking to date right away but it’s only been three weeks and we talked on the phone today…. He told me that he had gone on a date already. I was already insecure about the fact that he’s only been in one relationship besides me. We would get into arguments about dumb things and a lot of misunderstandings because he has only been in one other relationship. He also never really tried with my kid no matter how many times I would bring it up. He would blame his childhood experience with his step dad on trying to “not be so pushy” but my son is easy to entertain. He would always try to claim that he (my son) wanted nothing to do with him which isn’t always the case. He kept trying to say if things were to get fixed in aspects of our life that we could get back together down the road and he would propose to me… He even said he would never cover my name, got a tattoo of an anime character that resonates with me (he had me do it the week before I moved out) I just got off the phone with him bawling and I’m so hurt that he kept trying to pursued me with keeping in touch and now he completely said we absolutely should not be talking…. He claims that since I left he realized it was a bad idea because he still loves me. We had differences AND similarities throughout our relationship and even I felt like he did need to experience other relationships or date… it just hurts that it hasn’t even been a month and it’s now all flipped. He doesn’t want to stay in touch but he wants to make sure he still has access to me. I asked him if we can just check on each other every other months as friends and he said “no that it wouldn’t help the situation.” He also made a weird/hurtful comment “Even if I had a wife and kids then she cheated on me, I know I’d be like “ok, she (me) would never do this to me so I need to reach out to her” He also did mention that he was taking action on things that needed to be done… claiming he went on the date with me in mind. Maybe to see if I really was the best thing for him. I just need advice on how to let go or move on. :(
I apologize for being all over the place. There were a lot more things that I could add but my phone is starting to freeze up.

I (F 24) have a friend, Sean (M 24). I’ve known Sean since I was 5. We were best friends in middle school but grew apart. We reconnected in college, going to EDM festivals together and on double dates, things like that.
Sean has a best friend, we’ll call him Cory. A few years back, when I was single, Cory and I almost hooked up but didn’t - I had said no because we were drunk at Sean’s birthday party and it felt weird to do in Sean’s house.
The longer I’ve gotten to know Cory, the less I appreciate his character and the more glad I am that we never had s*x. He’s just not a very good person, to put it lightly. I could provide anecdotes, but I won’t.
Fast forward a year from then, and I was in a committed relationship with my now boyfriend (M 24, Charlie).
I was on vacation in Mexico with Sean, Sean’s girlfriend, Cory, myself, and a 2 other couples. My boyfriend Charlie wasn’t there.
Cory and I were the last one’s up after a night of partying and Cory started coming onto me. I have a hard time saying no to men in these situations; I’ve been taken advantage of in the past. I basically had to sit there for two hours explaining to Cory why it would be unethical, how I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend, etc. The whole time, Cory just kept pushing it. He even said that he just didn’t want to sleep on the couch but If he could come into my bed, he wouldn’t do anything. Looking back, I obviously should have just given a firm no but again, I have trouble setting boundaries especially with pushy males.
In the end, nothing happened. I finally just stood up and went to my room, telling Cory goodnight and locked my door. Cory ended up gaslighting me like I had done something wrong and sulking the next morning.
When I returned home after the trip, I told my boyfriend. He had a hard time understanding why I didn’t just reject Cory immediately. Ultimately charlie had a lot of hurt feelings and it was one of the hardest things we had to work on in our relationship, especially because Charlie was cheated on in his first relationship. It sucks that I broke his trust by giving Cory the opportunity to attempt things with me. I understand how that situation would be a really uncomfortable to hear about and hard to cope with. This was early in our relationship.
Fast forward another 6 months. Sean asked me and Charlie if we wanted to go to EDC with him and another couple (one of the other mexico couples) and the best part, Cory wouldn’t be there, so we were down.
We booked the house a year ago, bought our flights, and tickets. And started getting ready for our first EDC. I’m talking around $2k altogether in expenses including dog sitting while we were away.
There were extra spots at the house that later got confirmed by a third couple, and one single girl. I knew and liked all of them so it was cool. When they confirmed, we got reimbursed proportionately.
2 months ago, Sean’s girlfriend announces her pregnancy. She wouldn’t be going to edc or be staying at the house we booked. The most obvious person to take her place was Cory. Sean knew about what happened in Mexico, and asked me if we would be okay if Cory took the spot. I told him that we didnt’t love the idea but we’re all adults and we’re not going to say no. I fully expected consideration & respect from the rest of the group and that, with Charlie present, Cory would behave.
We arrived at the house this last Friday, and the plan was to pull names from a hat to figure out the rooms and who would be sharing with who. Well, one of the other couples arrived (the third couple who confirmed like 6 months after the house was booked) and they immediately unpacked their stuff before we could pull names. I thought it was a little uncool since this reduced the chance of me NOT getting stuck in a room with Cory all weekend. When everyone had gone to get groceries, I approached that couple and asked if they’d be open to compromising on their room if it ended up that Charlie and I would have to room with Cory since I would be uncomfortable.
I was a little surprised by their reaction since, in my experience, they were pretty down-to-earth people. First, they didn’t want to hear it and kind of blew me off. They didn’t want to know the details of why I was beefing with Cory, which is fine, they didn’t need to know, but I’ve met these two before and really thought they were like, considerate and reasonable people.
after listing off reasons about why they don’t want to change rooms, they accused me of causing drama, told me that it was Sean’s problem to figure out, and that they had no interest in (I’m paraphrasing) being a part of the solution.
I pushed them a little further, pointing out that I didn’t think it was fair that we all agreed to assign rooms a different way and they claimed one without consulting the group. They did NOT like that. They literally started screaming, both talking over me at the same time. For like, a whole minute. I couldn’t get a word out and then they stormed off to another room.
Charlie and I shared a shocked look in the middle of being yelled at, like, “are these near-strangers actually screaming at me right now. This is weird right?”
After they stormed off, it was a quick and easy choice to just leave. We called Charlie’s mom who lives an hour away, and stayed there the rest of the weekend. It was hugely inconvenient but overall the best solution, and didn’t entirely ruin our supposed-to-be-fun experience.
The couple that yelled have not reached out to apologize. Sean only reached out Friday to try to ask how things got out of hand so quickly (his tone sorta made it sound like he blamed me).
One of the single girls texted me to ask me to stay (sweetly) but she didn’t know what was going on. We just reaffirmed our choice to them, stating we were no longer comfortable and this would make sure everyone had a good time.
Now it’s a few days later after we’ve all returned home, and I would appreciate being refunded for our portion of the BnB since we didn’t stay. we would have stayed if they hadn’t screamed at me but it ruined the “good vibes”. Otherwise, I could have tolerated chris’ presence.
But I don’t know how to ask at this point without stirring this pot.
WIBTA to ask for my money back? It’s a couple hundred dollars and we spent so much money to attend under the pretense of attending with our friends and having a good time with them.
I get that I chose to leave, which is why I would accept it if they declined. But I didn’t exactly ask to be screamed at either and feel that I got stiffed.
And, for the record, while sean’s friendship is important to me as I’ve known him since I was 5, it’s not SO important that I’m willing to continuously maintain it the company he keeps around have been displaying a willingness to put me in compromising situations.

Ok so this is going to be a long one and I just need some advice because I'm loosing my mind. The story starts as My girlfriend F22 and I M23 started dating back in 2018, we have been through so much together out of the 5 years together we lived together for 4 years. We have built a very strong connection and bond. Emotionally and Sexually. I took her V card and she took mine that's what made us special in my eyes. Everything was going great into the summer of 2023 when I left my job to begin in internship, during this time, I put enough money away to support us for two months in the meantime that I was completing that internship, I was the breadwinner and supporter, as were both very traditional during this time with her part-time job and my savings we were pulling through, however, unexpectedly our landlord one day, knocked on the door and told us that we had a month to get out as he was planning on selling the land. This caused a lot of trouble. I had no money for a move in such a short notice. We decided that the best thing to do was to move back with our parents until I got back on my feet and she can get some savings so we could start again, at that time I didn't know, but this was the beginning of my long depression, the reason I say that I didn't know is because I come from a very traditional family with old-school values were mental health and depression is rarely talked about. During my time in the internship, I was not earning any money for some reason, this made me feel so much less of a man, mixed that up with the feeling that I have failed my partner in providing for her, leading her to move back with her parents. around this time, I also gained a lot of weight I've always been overweight 220 to be exact but around this time, I was weighting 236 pounds. I hate to say it and trust me I'm not making an excuse and know this was 100% my fault but I cheated on my girlfriend. No, I was not sexually active with anybody else, but her. But I was engaging in multiple flirting conversations around this time talking to multiple woman at once, for some reason this made me feel more of a man. I was stupid I know. She eventually catches me and when she asked me on a reason on why I did what I did I couldn't tell her I knew something was wrong with me, but I couldn't tell her why I told her that the best thing we should do is break up and I needed some time to figure out what was going on with myself. I had no focus on myself. I didn't know what to do. So we break up however we continue hooking up casually we told ourselves there was no feelings, but of course there was feelings involved. I told her that I wanted to get back with her but I needed to focus on me for a time and figuring stuff out and I begged her for time , she agreed .This continued on for about a month and half until I realized one day that she had not texted me for about two weeks she also began on blocking me on multiple social medias. When I confronted and asked what the problem was I got the cold shoulder until she told me there was someone else she also proceeded to call me worthless as a man, and she hopes that I value my next relationship . This killed me, I cried but in the back of my head I could not get the images of her sexually with someone else. Sex for me in my love language which is why I never slept around with anyone but her even with the girls that I had engaged in flirty conversation. For the next 5 months I was depressed heavily also began to have self harming thoughts for the first time in my life, everything in my life was crumbling down and the piece that I taught would always be there had left . Many of my friends showed me her new bf and I'm not Bradd Pitt but holy shit I was offended, she has ended up with someone let's say, ghetto, one of those wanna be drug dealer guys. I don't mean to be rude it's just how I saw it. This just upset me more ..my depression was bad and it was around this time I educated myself on mental health and depression. My life did a 360 on November 23rd I decided to pull myself out of the metal hole, I read online that multiple brain chemicals in depression have been linked to obesity so I began working out and man did it help. I was still job less but i had started to get my CDL to join the family business, I also began putting more effort into my UNI so double school and a gym freak that went from 236 to 184lbs
March 2024. I get a long message from her saying that she wishes nothing but the best for me and that she has forgiven me. This message pissed me off , yes, I cheated but she had already forgiven for that. Long story short we have a conversation on the phone that ended me crying out of anger because all I could think about was another guy being sexual with my girlfriend. She proceeds to tell me that she's sorry and that the other guy had played her , she asked if we could be friend and I declined I said that was bad for both of our mental healths , she asked if we could meet up and I also declined I said if she wanted to meet up she needed to give me time to heal , I had heal in almost all aspects except the sex part and this is where the main problem is. After sometime and many years and sorry from here we meet up and talk and yes..I know I took her back. These last couple of months have been good almost like nothing changed, however she did changed she is doing everything in her power to show me that she wants to be with me as I still have that commitment issue that she left me after just two months of us being broken up. And with that I don't have a problem as she is proving her self
The sex part tho , our sex life is healthy but there's this random times where I remember that she has been active with someone else and get filled with anger and disgust , to the point where I just leave her and come back when I calmed down , although we weren't dating at the time it came at the expense of my worst time on earth, am I being immature about this subject ? I know I have to get over this subject if I wanna be with her but I'm just having a hard time doing so. Any advice ?

For the original post, visit here: https://www.reddit.com/CharlotteDobreYouTube/comments/1cfl5w1/exposing_exhusband_coming_soon/
Hello everyone, we have some major updates to this coming Petty Revenge story that will involve exposing my ex-husband for who he is and trying to protect the next person from falling into his trap. They will be coming in a separate post once I get everything together.
This is my story for context with the ex-husband. It will be a longer post, to be warned. Trigger warning for those who may be sensitive to stories about abuse and self-harm
Since my original post, the woman who is currently with my ex-husband, (not with as in together, anymore. With as in living with currently until she can find a new place for her and her kids), we have continued to stay in contact, and boy is this the drama intensifying. In short, the ex-husband is still playing his horrible games and turning her life into an ever-living hell.
Some backstory on my side. I will shorten my ex-husband to EH.
I (28F) and EH (36 M) met when I was 18 and he was 26, so there was a bit of an age gap, but that did not matter to either of us. We got engaged roughly 4 or 5 months after we started officially dating and we moved in together at the request of my parents as we could not fit everyone into the same home we were renting at the time. Things of course started off great. He seemed like a decent man who had his life at least somewhat figured out. He loved to cook and usually worked in some form of cooking-related job. However, never really seemed to be able to keep a job for too long but at the time, I didn't think much of it, given I was 19 and wearing rose-tinted glasses.
Since he couldn't hold a job and we usually had to ask his grandmother for money to keep up with the rent (both worked basically minimum wage jobs at the time) so after a year out of the house, we had to move back in with my parents.
Once we got settled back in there, I started a better-paying job and he had started a new job that was at least okay paying as well so for a bit we were doing okay. We made enough that we adopted 2 horses together and boarded them at a nearby facility. One came in late spring, the other in the summer of about 2016. So after 2 years of being together.
We got married that same year in the fall. Everything seemed perfect. Then came the wedding night... What I thought was my monthly woke me in the middle of the night before it was time to get up to leave for our honeymoon because I was suddenly bleeding very heavily, it freaked me out and we silently went to the ER without telling my family to not cause alarm. Come to find out, I was having a miscarriage. I was a little over 6 weeks pregnant and did not know. Needless to say, not exactly the best way to start your marriage, and did not go on our honeymoon. We never told my parents it happened and very few people know.
We held off until the following year, 2017, to go on our honeymoon. While we were on our honeymoon, I got a call that my mare had come down with a fever and the stable owner was calling vets out to see what was wrong. The first vet played it off saying it was just minor, gave her penicillin, and told the stable owner to give her a cool bath to help her cool down and see if it helped. It did not. They called a 2nd vet after that was not working for a second opinion, and my mare was diagnosed with Potomac Fever. Since it had been a few days since she started her fever, giving her the correct medicines at that point as she was getting very poorly was a 50/50 chance of whether they would help or not. We did cut our vacation as short as we could, but we ended up having to wait to come home as our board check removed what we had left to come home on so we had no money until we got paid again, luckily that same week.
The day before we were able to return, my favorite singer, Chester Bennington passed away. I was devasted. When we did get to the stable, we bought some supplies the stable owner advised us to get, mainly wraps and bags of ice to help ice my mare's feet to try to help keep her fever at bay. We were advised by the vet when they stopped by the check on her that the next day they would bring out an x-ray machine to see if the bones in her feet had turned down or not. If they had not, then she had a chance of making a full recovery and staying sound, and everything would be okay. If they had, then she would likely never be able to be ridden again and need a lot of corrective shoeing and therapy which would be very expensive. We were also trying to keep her on her feet as if she went down and we could not get her back up, it would be a death sentence.
The next morning I went to the stable as early as I was able and.. disaster. I was met by the stable owner and he had advised that my mare had been down when he checked on her sometime in the early morning, around 3 or 4 AM. He was able to get her up then but wasn't able to tell how long she had been down before he found her and got her up, however, she had gone down again and had refused to get up. I was so heartbroken and went to her and tried for a good hour or so while my parents showed up. I was in tears telling them we'd probably be putting her down because she was down. We did get her up, but the damage at that point was done. She was down way too long and she has very noticeable nerve damage. Hardly able to walk, went to the bathroom in spurts, and was so unsteady on her feet that she could barely stay up. When the vet came, we let her know what was going on. They looked her over and advised that her fever was gone, but the damage would probably be permanent without very expensive therapy throughout the years and would never be the same again. It was the humane choice to let her go and she crossed the rainbow bridge that day. I only had her a year and 2 weeks on the nose, but she was my best friend, my heart horse, and I miss her terribly to this day, soon to be 7 years later come July.
After this happened, EH and I went through a bit of a rocky patch. For a week or so he was supportive and seemed to care that I was grieving the loss of my mare, but after a little while it turned into arguments about how I could still be upset, time had passed we still had our other horse so I should be fine, all sorts of crazy things. I couldn't understand how he could say those things to me, especially when he knew I was so close with my mare and had many great plans with and for her that were now of course, not possible. He didn't care so I just stopped going to him when I was upset about it.
Fast forward to late fall of 2018, we decided to move out of the home we were living with my brother in and move into a house owned by his grandmother for a work opportunity for my EH. He ended up getting the job which solidified us moving. Moving didn't go so bad, however, I had to leave my job to move so I was without for a bit until I got a job at the same place he was working at, which was a casino. Usually, we worked separately as he was a cook and I was a cashier for the different food areas, but sometimes we worked in the same area. I much preferred to be in a different area than him cause if we worked in the same restaurant that night, it would get exhausting with him trying to joke around and make passes at me in front of people and joke around that it was the husband and wife team and everything was great. The first few times it happened, sure it was actually kind of funny because we had worked through some stuff and were doing okay at that point, but it did get a bit old and repetitive at some point, and never had any personal space. Plus, I was the one driving because he had a suspended license at the time so I was stuck with him most of the time after the new food court opened. We got our first puppy together for my 22nd birthday the day after New Years, 2019.
We moved on to work with a co-worker at a duck farm in the area we lived which was kind of a fun job. He was hired full-time and I was part-time. We took care of thousands of ducks every day doing whatever needed to be done from farm maintenance, giving them vaccines, sorting them, tagging them, etc. I kind of miss that job as it was an interesting one to have. All was well during these times, but we did sometimes have arguments because he felt since I didn't work as much that this somehow meant I was being lazy around the house and could stand to do more cooking and cleaning (which I was already doing a majority of anyway). It turned into a lot of gaslighting arguments that made me feel like maybe I was not doing enough so I took on more than what I was already doing. With the new puppy and at that time 7 fish tanks ranging from 5 gallons to 150 gallons with over 100 total fish and the entire house to clean and outside work to do, I was busy most of the time he was not home. Of course, as soon as he got home, he would find 1 dirty little thing that I didn't get to or something that wasn't to his standards and he'd excuse me for doing nothing or not knowing how to do anything right. We got jobs working for the same place after the duck farm mysteriously let him go for unknown reasons, which I can now only assume were his fault. We met some nice co-workers and got our second puppy from one in late fall of 2019. My dogs could be Irish twins because their birthdays are a little over 9 months apart.
Things started to decline after this, especially during covid, 2020. I got it very early on when they didn't know what it was and was bad enough that I could not work at all because I was struggling to breathe and function most of the time for months afterward. He did help me some but not much more than getting cough medicine and checking on me every once in a while other than that, he wasn't around me much due to having to work or just not coming around me when he was home, which fair, didn't want to bring sickness to the workplace. We were laid off from that job though in the downsizing.
In that time, he started abusing online slot games, and the extra money we had that we had previously discussed was to be saved for either a newer vehicle or even maybe a home of our own down the road he used to get coins or boosts in his games. They were not the ones you could win actual money from so he was just purely wasting hundreds of dollars pretty much every week or every couple of weeks on these games. I also found he had been spending money online on sites such as OF and other smut websites and paying for NSFW stuff online. Also found he was cheating on me with one person on OF when I got a pinged message from his email chats on my laptop. I, of course, wanted to see what was happening and found everything he had been saying to this girl.
He was telling her around times we'd go visit my parents for the weekend that he was going out of town to his family but didn't say with whom. They would ask him how he was single and he would just say "Oh I don't know, just unlucky I guess" and things along these longs. I wasn't even given roommate status, He stated he lived alone. Had the 2 dogs, all the fish, was woah is me with it all. I confronted him about it and of course, he tried to deny everything, tried to say I was probably the one cheating, and was just trying to blame him, you know, totally normal sane reaction... not. We got into it pretty good, nothing physical, but we did not talk to each other for a bit, I had considered leaving to be with my best friend at that time, but ultimately we started talking and wanted to attempt to work things out. He of course promised not to do it again, he'd be better, all that good stuff so I decided to give him another chance. Of course, I realize that was a major mistake now, but you live and learn, unfortunately.
Things smoothed out for a bit and went back to being okay again. We had a chance to expand our animals so we took it, it was kind of an apology gift in all honesty. We gained 4 rabbits from my best friend in the late-ish summer of 2020. I met her for the first time in the at the time 8 years we had been talking (we met online) so that was great. I am coming to realize that gaining all the animals we did in our time together may have been a coping mechanism for me because I had something that was depending on me and loved on me so in some ways I realize I do have a lot of animals due to this, but I am also an animal lover and love all of my animals and they are very much spoiled rotten every day. They still bring me immense joy and are a highlight of my life even if they were gained with EH. We still had our other horse, a gelding, at this time yet as well and he had been moved to a new boarding facility that was close to where we had moved to. So things were great at this time. In 2021 in the summer I gained a leopard gecko, and in the fall I gained a Russian tortoise as well.
Backtracking a little to around the end of August 2020, I gained my current job and I was excited to start a new at-home job so I could work and not have to worry about going out and potentially getting deathly sick again. I do have RA so I do have a compromised immune system. He started back to work where we were working as they had started hiring people back, so I was happy to have a quiet background which was needed for my job. Well, that did not last long. 2 weeks after going back, he didn't go to work for a day or 2 and I asked him if he was going to work. He stated he was using his paid vacation time and had taken the next 2 weeks off because he "needed a break" from work because he was feeling burnt out even though he had only been back 2 weeks and wanted some time to do stuff around the house. I thought this was odd and he never asked if this was okay... I only found out when he stayed home instead of going to work as scheduled.
He did go back after those 2 weeks off but he only stayed about another month and it happened again that he did not go in for a day or 2 when he was supposed to be working so I asked him what was going on. He told me he had quit the job because it was burning him out and he did not enjoy the job anymore. I found this odd yet again because he did not express any of these feelings before doing so and never asked me. I was furious and asked him how he thought this was okay because in our budget I had made up for us (because he wouldn't) there was no way for us to survive on my income alone for long and we would likely have to destroy our savings to stay afloat. He stated he would look for another job right away, he just wanted some time to figure out what he wanted to do. How, when he had only just gone back to work after about 5 months off, I don't know, but it was what it was, I made it clear he had to find work.
At that time, around the beginning of 2021 or so, maybe more coming into spring, he started his online slot spending again, and I had found he never deleted his OF account and was talking to another girl that I didn't know about saying the same things he was before, except he was talking to this girl the ENTIRE TIME he was talking to the other one. I just didn't catch it cause he had deleted messages so I didn't see it apparently when I found the first one. So not only had he lied about going to delete the OF and other smut stuff, but he had actively continued to talk to another girl for the entire year and a half almost that he claimed he was working on us and our relationship.
Needless to say, I exploded internally and waited for him to come home after helping his gram with something. I had a plan. When he got home, I played it cool like any other day. Asked him how his gram was, what he did at her house, and all that, normal. Then, I calmly asked him who the OF girl was. The color of his face went pale. Or paler anyway. At first asked, who? And acted confused. I reiterated my question of who OF girl was, this time, seriously to let him know the jig is up. He stated he didn't know who I was talking about and didn't know anyone by that name. I pulled up his OF account on my computer and was like, oh really? then explain all of this, and scrolled through the months of messages with this girl.
He had the AUDACITY to continue denying it was him and said he probably got hacked. I found a picture of him fully in the nude in the full-length mirror in the bathroom that he had sent her and said, "Oh yeah? Then how do you explain this picture?" and continued to more of his parts he was sending to the girl and continued to ask and this to all them. He had nowhere to hide. I had also already downloaded copies of everything and sent them to my best friend (the one we got the rabbits from) so in case he wanted to delete everything and call me crazy, I had the proof that I was not and he did these things.
Eventually, he admitted to continuing talking to her even though he said he had stopped. His reasoning? Apparently, he didn't feel the same spark in our marriage or relationship that he had originally felt and felt like I was distancing myself from him and it just wasn't the same between us. He also stated that he felt as if his efforts to make our relationship work weren't being seen by me and he didn't feel appreciated in the relationship. I, of course, asked him what he meant because at that point I had been just trusting his word that he wouldn't do anything else and would stop. He hadn't done anything else. No romantic gestures, no help around the house, offering to grab food when we needed it, take care of me while I was sick, offer to take over any form of bills or anything financial that I was solely doing at that point because he didn't want the responsibility of and had stated beforehand he didn't want the responsibility of.. nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything was always on me, and I was the one burdening myself and driving myself crazy, even when I had another health scare thinking I had a DVT because I had sudden swelling in my left leg around my knee area and would get sudden bouts of breathlessness and was advised to take it easy and remove as much stress as possible for a bit in case I did have one to avoid a possible clot from going into my brain or lungs. Luckily, I did not have it, or any clots. I was under so much mental and physical stress that my body was reacting negatively.
This did not stop him from continuing my stresses at all. I also developed Vocal Cord Dysfunction when I had covid and stress makes it worse so on top of the sudden swelling and breathlessness, the stress was also activating the VCD and constantly making it feel like someone was choking me full force, which would trigger anxiety attacks because of course I felt like someone was choking me full force and like I couldn't breathe and wasn't breathing or at least wasn't breathing normally. It's an awful experience that I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemies.
Despite all the cheating, I never mentioned a word to my parents even up until that point, but they had a feeling something was going on because I was probably being a bit distant with them. I didn't want anyone to know at the time and thought I could fix things. Things only got worse. When he did finally get a job, not until mid-2021, so at that point he'd been out of work almost a year, he again picked up his gambling habits. What made things worse and started to spin more out of control was the pizza shop he had gotten a job at installed slot machines for their customers to play if they wished.
You can only guess what happened from there. While he was making decent money at the time, I saw hardly any of it because he would gamble most of his income at those slot machines. I would tell him what bills needed to go out of our joint account (I had a separate account for myself for my pay, but a portion went into the joint) from his pay, and he would say okay got it won't spend anything over that, won't play this week since we won't have a lot left over, etc etc etc... and magically pretty much all of the money would be gone and I would be forced to dip into our savings to save our bills from going out of date and overdue and gets fees we could not afford.
For context, the joint account was after I paid most of everything else out of my account before seeing what needed to go out of the joint account as well. Usually, the joint account would be needed to cover our rent to his gram, groceries, gas, vet appointments for the animals, medical or dental appointments for myself or him, and pretty much anything other than rent that was a necessity. I took care of the actual main bills out of my pay. As stated above, EH wanted nothing to do with the financial responsibility of ensuring all the bills such as our electricity, water, heat, phones, and internet were paid for on time because "I was better at keeping track of that stuff". I took that on because since I worked from home, I needed to make sure 100% I would have internet and electricity, or else I wouldn't have a job, and I couldn't lose my job over something so stupid as not paying my bills on time. I am not that irresponsible.
In about mid-fall 2021, he was at work and I had requested the day off to take our dogs, then 2 and 3, to the vet for their yearly check-ups and vaccinations so they were good for the coming year. He had just gotten paid the day before and I checked the joint account before I left the house with the dogs and saw that so far, he had not done anything with the money, so all was good and I proceeded to take the dogs to the vet. They did fine. It comes time to check out and pay for the vet visit and... the debit card for the joint account declines and says insufficient funds. Confused, I asked them to try it again before looking because I knew I saw that there was more than enough to cover their bill before I left. Nothing, same thing, it says it's declined due to insufficient funds.
I began to panic because, at this point, we had $0 in our savings because of his antics up until that point, and if I used my bank card, while it would go through, would put me into the negative until payday, which was not until the next week. I checked the joint account and low and behold, within the 2 or 3 hours I was gone, he somehow blew through almost $1,000 in withdrawals to gamble, pretty much his entire pay and I had less than $100 in that account. He had gambled his entire pay when he knew I was out to a vet appointment at that current moment. I paid with my bank card so I could leave, as at that vet clinic, you had to pay for the services before leaving or they would not let you leave, or not let you leave with your animals at the very least until the bill was paid in full. They had no bill me later options.
Needless to say, I was fuming the entire drive home and immediately messaged him about it when I got home and the dogs settled. He messaged me back right away with a BS excuse that he forgot that was what was happening that day even though right above those messages he could see I reminded him I was going to the vet, told him I was leaving for the vet, and was at the vet currently, all of which he replied to.
It of course ended up in an argument when he got home and after a long time arguing he stated he didn't understand what all the fuss was about since I had covered the bill just fine. He was using his pay the way he wanted and that's how it should be. He dared to say my pay went to what I wanted and it wasn't fair I was putting such a tight leash on him and his spending when I spent money on myself all the time, which is not true. I reminded him of this very quickly and showed him my bank account was in the negative because of today due to paying all of the necessary bills we needed, not because I was spending on myself and reminded him if I didn't pay the internet and electricity especially, I wouldn't be able to work which was not in the cards with how his spending was.
I forbade him from spending anything without my okay at this point and in a last-ditch effort, took away and cut up his bank cards and hid mine where he wouldn't find them. This did stop his spending because he didn't have a way to spend. I would only give him my bank card if he asked to get something we needed or he needed, and he was to give it back immediately after use or as soon as he could give it back if he took it to work to get something after work like smokes or something for the house. If any cash withdrawals went out, he wasn't allowed to take it again for a while. This continued into 2022 and it worked, I could relax a little as he was starting to earn trust. Say what you will, but it had to be done. At the end of 2021, 2 days before New Year 2022, we, unfortunately, lost our other horse to a long battle with sickness so we were down to just our dogs, the rabbits, reptiles, and 3 fish tanks because we decided to downgrade on the fish keeping. After all, water was getting expensive to maintain all 7 we had.
The loss of our gelding, unfortunately, turned out to be a good thing, as after we had him euthanized and I had allowed EH to have a bank card of his own again because he had been doing very well, it wasn't long before he was back to his old habits of draining his pays. Only, without the about $400 a month board for our gelding going out anymore, it was much worse. There would have been no way we would have been able to afford to keep him after that. It got to the point I again, took his card away, but then he started finding where I was hiding both of my cards and would drain not only the joint account but also my account. This led to us getting behind in rent especially, on some of my credit card payments which had by that time gotten completely maxed out, and on payments to loans I had taken out to try to get us back on track. Not good.
This continued to no avail throughout 2022. I had many conversations with friends trying to see if there was anything I could do. I was at my wits end with all the constant fighting over finances, continued accusations of cheating, making me feel like I was worthless and not doing enough to try to get him to see reason, wondering why I was not good enough for him to want to change and get his act together, mental and emotional abuse, manipulative actions, almost anything you can think of. I wanted it to stop and I was getting tired of trying. My mental and emotional health declined greatly. My friends of course wanted to support me in whatever I wanted to try to do, but they also didn't like seeing me decline as much as I was.
I had a mental breakdown one night and basically did a 2005 Brittany Spears to my hair. I didn't shave everything off, however, a good 90% of my hair was shaved off and what I did have left was very much chopped and looked horrible. I did get most of it fixed, but needed help with the back, so I asked him to try to fix it up so it didn't look so chopped off. I was already not the best mentally and my anxiety was through the roof. I had simply asked him to just be careful and not accidentally cut or nick me. Pretty simple. As I was anxious, I asked him a few times, and was a bit flinchy when he was close to me. He took this the wrong way and threw the scissors down and started screaming at me that if I wasn't going to calm down and hold still I could do it myself and blew past me out the bathroom door. The door almost hit me when he swung it open and I just completely lost it. I sobbed and was in such a bad state of mind that I ended up scratching my arms to the point I made them bleed and covered with scratches. He didn't care or do anything about it, he had gone outside and taken the car and drove up leaving me there alone. I bandaged up my arms. They stung for weeks and I still have a few light scars. Not a very proud moment, but one that drew me closer to knowing I had to leave. The stress I was under was too much.
My now current boyfriend, whom we'll call BF, (32 M) came into the mix towards the end of summer 2022, introduced to me by my best friend after she found him gaming in Fallout, mixed in with my friends, and took their stance as well that if I wanted to try to make things work, he would try to be as supportive as possible. Over time though, he and my friends slowly cracked and smashed through my rose-tinted glasses to help me see that what was happening was not my fault, and was not an okay situation to be in. My best friend then distanced herself thinking I was choosing BF over her after we started talking more and we were hanging out more playing games together. She decided to end our 11-year friendship amid things even though she knew I needed her and we were not replacing her with each other, we just happened to be growing closer. We attempted to include her in things but she chose to leave and distance herself, stating to me later she regretted ever introducing us.
My BF and other friends became my main support systems, and I decided enough was enough and it was time to let go. I had fallen out of love with my EH for some time but didn't want to admit to it. The marriage was over. I told EH I wanted a divorce but he did not believe me. He said I was being crazy for thinking we should end things, but I knew I was not.
While he was at work one night toward the end of October 2022, I went online and found a service that would assist me in getting the papers we needed to start the divorce process and bought them on the joint account so he could see I was serious.
When he came home, I was on the computer with my friends on Discord, playing a game together. He came in screaming with an anger I had never heard before... He had screamed at me before, but this was different. He was screaming at me to get out of the house, that I needed to get out now, he didn't want to see me in the morning, he didn't care if he wasn't allowed to do that cause he was doing it anyway, he was so angry and my friends and BF heard him through my headset. One of my friends told him to shut up and calm down and EF snapped and screamed at them to shut up and stay out of it.
He then came straight for me and slammed my laptop shut so hard I was afraid he broke it, ripped my headset off my head, and threw me from my chair, continuing to scream at the top of his lungs that he wanted me out right then and there if I wanted to me that way. It all happened so fast, I couldn't stop shaking and looking at him, not expecting this. He had never put his hands on me before. Ripping the headset off my head nearly caught on my industrial earring, which would have been horrible if it caught and ripped out. Luckily it didn't.
Once I got past the initial shock, I stood up and lit into him that he couldn't just kick me out because he was mad I was finally done with him and the relationship, and the audacity he had to lay his hands on me. I needed time to get a place to live because of my work. I needed to get my options figured out, get the animals we had sorted out if I could keep them all or not, everything. I needed to make sure I was sorted out and he would have to deal with the fact that I had to do these things before I could get out of the house.
His anger turned into tears and he began crying and pleading with me not to go and crying he'd do better and be a better person and all the things he promised beforehand. He couldn't believe what he saw when he saw the request for divorce papers, he was sorry for putting his hands on me, the works. It did not work. I assured him I was going and needed to get things sorted out.
The next day I called my parents and told them what had happened and that I needed a place to stay or at least help looking for a place to stay. My parents and brother agreed that they would take me in as they owned and lived in a house, and I could live in the basement of the house so I had a room to myself and had room for my animals as well. I did have to rehome 2 of the 4 rabbits, however, they went to a loving home with a cousin of my brother's girlfriend who was experienced with rabbits and currently had some that 2 could intermingle with. So that worked in my favor.
I didn't think I would have room for both dogs and rabbits remaining, so EH decided he wanted to keep 1 dog and 1 rabbit. He wanted our first dog (the one gotten for my 22nd birthday) and the original rabbit he chose from my now former best friend. I agreed and kept our 2nd dog and the original rabbit I chose from my former best friend. I also was keeping the leopard gecko, tortoise, and fish. However, my parents agreed that if in the future EH ever decided to get rid of or no longer wanted our first dog and the other rabbit, they would allow them to come as well (important in a bit).
I made the move to my parent's house in mid-November 2022 and started the process for divorce. While I was getting the first papers ready to go and sent to EH to start the process, EH would continuously text me and harass me even when I asked him to stop messaging me. He would continuously say he wanted me to stay with him, he would change, ask how I could do this to us as by that time we have been married 6 years and together for 8. Trying to manipulate me into coming back with promises of change.
My response was to send him the first official papers to start the divorce process. In my state, once you initiate the process and request for legal divorce, and the request is approved, you have to wait 90 days before you can then submit the final paperwork to request to make the divorce official because the relationship is not going to work, both parties want the divorce, etc.
I had to send the papers a second time because they were not done properly the first time, but the second try was approved so the 90-day waiting time to submit the final papers began.
He continued to harass and message me multiple times throughout the first month, and then his harassment to try to get me to stay turned into distasteful language and cursing me out, saying he didn't need me he already moved on and had someone else so didn't need me anymore. All ploys were more than likely to see if I would suddenly want him. I did not react other than to say good because I had also already moved on and was with someone, my BF, so I was looking forward to being rid of him so I could be with my BF in peace and not have to worry about him anymore.
At that, he stopped messaging me finally, and I moved all correspondence to email instead of text and messenger for more formal communications only when I had updates regarding our pending divorce.
In about April 2023, I had a bad feeling about the well-being of my first dog and other rabbit so in an update email to let him know we had reached the 90th day so the next day I could start getting the finalization paperwork in, I asked him how both were doing and if I may have a picture of them just to ease my mind that they were doing okay and was maybe just nerves about losing them for good.
He met this simple request with utter anger and venom, stating he didn't have to tell me how they were doing and wasn't going to send any pictures. I was being crazy, they were fine so I shouldn't be asking or worrying about anything. This set alarm bells off in my mind because it was just a simple request to see how they were doing, and so far, legally, still, partly my animals until the divorce was final. I advised him of this and this time demanded proof that both the dog and rabbit were doing well or I would be calling animal welfare as a precaution to ensure their well-being and would want them back ASAP if not met, as I wanted them back if he was not taking care of them.
He again refused stating he didn't have to prove anything and that if I asked again, he'd report me for harassment and false accusations of animal abuse. Not wanting any legal trouble with a pending divorce, I dropped it and didn't ask again.
However, 2 weeks later I got a nasty email saying if I wanted my other dog and rabbit back so badly I could have them, as the dog had been whining so much it was annoying him and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. His sister was getting married in 2 weeks, so I asked if he wanted to have them out before or after the wedding since I was attending the wedding along with my brother and his girlfriend and would be in the area, but could get them earlier if needed. He opted for the week before the wedding because he wanted her especially gone. I asked about the rabbit and he said he changed his mind and wanted to keep the rabbit, but if I wanted her too, I could take her as well. I kindly advised the rabbit would be coming back with me as well as I did not want her alone with him anymore. I told my parents what was up and they agreed they could come home much to my relief.
That weekend in May 2023, my brother and I went to EH's house to pick up my dog and rabbit. The moment I saw them, I was so heartbroken and angry. The rabbit was in a tiny hutch meant just to hold them while we cleaned their big enclosure that obviously had not been cleaned or taken care of in some time and dirty murky brown water to drink. It was obvious she had been couped up there for some time, as her enclosure wall panels were broken down and on the porch. My dog was completely emaciated and in horrible condition. Her nails were overgrown, and she was skin and bones. You could see her ribs, spine, and hip bones, and her face was sunken in. Neglected and not taken care of or fed in some time.
I was so angry I grabbed them and put them in the vehicle and let my brother take care of EH. He talked to him for a bit as I called my parents crying telling them what kind of state my animals were in. They were furious. When we got home, they had the dog I kept outside so he could see his sister come home and they wanted to film their reunion and also show what EH did to her. My mother broke into tears when I carefully got my dog out of the car. She was so excited to see my parents again and her brother. And he was so excited to finally see her again. He had been so depressed without her as he grew up with her of course. It was a beautiful reunion but so depressing and sad because of how deplorable of a condition she was in.
My rabbits immediately went to each other when I put the other into the enclosure with the one I kept. They knew who each other were as well and they started grooming each other and cuddling together like they used to like nothing happened. Both my dogs and my rabbits are inseparable now. They can't stand to be away from each other.
The divorce was finalized in June 2023 and I made sure I had no forms of contact with EH again, blocking him on everything.
I can say I have found a wonderful man in my BF and he has helped me so much and been with me through all of this, we couldn't be happier to be able to be together without people asking how we're together if I'm married to someone else even though I was getting a divorce and no longer with EH. Mainly very religious family members who made a fuss about it, but still was a bit ridiculous.
If you reached the end of this and read every bit, if you have any questions feel free to comment below. An update in a separate post will be coming within the next day or so about what's going on with the woman who is currently with the ex-husband.
This was my story in this, context you may or may not want as not everyone's stories gets told. I am telling mine now as everyone in these situations should.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_idkidkidk1
Friend’s sister (20’sF) was openly flirting with my husband (40M) in front of me (31F). I told her off publicly and now they want a public apology from me. What action should I take so that I don’t ruin my friendship?
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Thanks to u/_ThinkerBelle_ for suggesting this BoRU
Previous BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, sexual harassment, obsessive behavior, slander
Original Post March 12, 2024
I(31F) am close friends with Lisa (33F) we met at college, and became roommates and I love her to death. Lisa has a sister ‘Amy’ (20’s F) whom I’ve met occasionally in college but she was so young at that time we never really hung out.
Lisa had a bridal shower in February and I financially contributed to most of it since I wasn’t able to be there in person to help with the planning. I gave money to Amy to pay for everything, the decor, food and alcohol. I even paid for an overnight stay at a hotel for all 7 girls. I did all of this because I couldn’t make it to her bachelorette party the week before, I had also paid for the limo Amy wanted to host the party in. At the shower I saw Amy and she was gushing about how I had spent a lot of money on Lisa. I just said if it’s for Lisa I would have paid for anything. Amy was hinting that my job was paying so much money for me to spend on Lisa this much. I’m a new surgeon just graduated from residency, i got a pay bump but not a lot. I’m lucky because my husband is supporting me while I go through fellowship. My husband (40M) is a doctor too but so much more advanced in his career than me. For my wedding gift he paid off the remainder of my student loans. He is amazing and I am obsessed with him.
Wedding happened in March, my husband and I came for the wedding. Family and close friends were invited to Lisa’s parent’s place for dinner after. Amy was very handsy with my husband even during the wedding she was asking him about his job how smart he was to be working in the ICU how hot he was how he looks like a young Alain Delon bla bla. My husband was giving me signals to come to him and I did. This happened at least 2 more times. At Lisa’s parent’s, Amy was wrapping her arm around my husbands back and was serving him drinks and food. I told Lisa’s mom about how Amy’s making me and my husband very uncomfortable and her mom pulled her aside and told her off i think because she came out grumpy. She was still acting like a crazed teenager because when we wanted to leave she wouldn’t give my husband his jacket back to him and kept sniffing it. I had a feeling that she was drunk and completely out of it. My husband raised his voice and told her to stop messing around and give it to him. I yelled “can you stop being so difficult you’ve been shamelessly flirting with my husband in front of me the whole day give me the damn jacket and leave us alone”.
I got a text from Lisa’s mom demanding I publicly apologize to Amy as in post on social media a heartfelt apology because some of the guests heard me yell at her and thought I was overreacting and humiliated her.
Lisa is on my side and told me Amy has always had gold digging tendencies and that this isn’t the first time she’d done something like this. She flirted with her friend’s dad and their next door neighbour who is married when she thought that they were wealthy. Lisa said that she’ll handle it. I already felt so bad I ruined the last moments of her wedding day and now she has to deal with this. I’m ruminating on this a lot lately and wondering if I should apologize to Amy. I don’t want to but then again if I did, I would explain exactly what happened and how it merited my reaction to her. Though this might add fuel to the fire. There is so much drama right now and I want to preserve my friendship with Lisa.
TLDR: friend’s sister flirting with my husband, i ‘embarrassed’ her and now she wants a public apology. I’m thinking of doing it but detailing exactly what happened and might paint her in a bad light. But all this drama could cost my friendship with my friend.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
jamicam

Are the guests at the wedding also your Facebook friends? I don't understand how a public apology on social media would work in this case... I mean, I imagine the guests include aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc., of the family. Are they really going to see your FB apology?

OOP

Her mom wants me to tag her and Lisa so that their family can see it. I don’t even use facebook anymore but her family are still active on it.

jamicam

If you don't use FB then there's your answer.
Lisa said she'll handle it. I'd let this alone.

Update March 18, 2024
Keeping it as short as I can and typos galore cuz I’m oncall.
Previous post got so popular that Amy’s mom found it and texted me to take down (in all caps). I got around to read most of the comments a day after I posted when I finished my shift. I didn’t not apologize to anyone or did anything at all frankly I forgot about it since I had people close to dying on me left and right at work. I gaslit Amy’s mom into thinking that I never did such a thing and that I did not have a Reddit account (she believed it I think since she didn’t text me back, cmon the details I put in that post were exactly what she experienced and she didn’t find it odd?).
For clarification:

1. One of you said I had a spine of a jellyfish (loved that comment) and not apologizing was the right thing to do. I was hesitant and was actually considering giving that apology because of the fact that she fed me and let me stay in her home during thanksgiving and Christmas many years ago when I couldn’t go home to my family. I’m the kind of person who’ll remember every good thing you do for me and do my best to reciprocate or get even so as to not be indebted to you. Idk what kind of mental illness is that, I never retained much of the psychiatric info from medschool.
   
2. A lot of people insinuated that me being docile and restrained in those kinds of situations makes me a bad surgeon to which i say i beg your effing pardon. Would you want someone who’s operating on you have a criminal record for causing bodily harm/homicide? Also I’ve dealt with worse than Amy I’ve survived handling 19 psychotic patients with TBIs for a whole rotation. Me being aggressive would have gotten me kicked out of my fellowship.
   

Things that have transpired:

1. I tried to avoid contacting Lisa since she went off on her honeymoon but because of the popularity of my previous post I decided to give her a heads up. Lisa was more than apologetic, in fact she facetimed me and we had a very teary conversation about her family. There were a lot more going on that I never knew but mine and my husband’s involvement in her family drama was the last straw. She had decided to go no contact with her mom and sister. She also warned me that Amy might approach my husband in some way but no idea how. She’s also getting her extended family involved about Amy.
   
2. My husband does not have any social media (so hot) and he did not give out his number to anyone at all during the wedding. He is anal about loyalty and transparency in our marriage. We have access to each other’s electronics. I know he would never cheat on me. 3 days ago someone called my husband’s clinic asking to get his number for an ‘emergency’ and that she needed to get a hold of his wife. The nurse who answered refused to give a physician’s personal number and the conversation got heated. My husband’s colleague, another intensivist, took over and asked her to tell him what the emergency was so that he could tell my husband himself. The person on the phone argued some more and when the doctor wouldn’t give she hung up. That friend told my husband what happened and said the woman didn’t give her name but had a very high pitched child-like voice. My husband immediately knew it was Amy but we have no proof. I know it was her, she must have searched my husband’s name on google and found where he worked since his professional profile is online along with the name of his hospital.
   

I’m getting more and more irritated by this whole thing and have gone full on mama bear mode over my husband. He was furiously annoyed after the wedding and was saying if the genders were switched he would have definitely gotten punched not even halfway through the wedding. My husband had terrible experiences with women before, two women at different times tried to baby trap him, one did some Sherlock level manipulation and one harassed us when we were dating. He is usually a cool and calm guy but now he hasn’t been smiling or joking around with me like he always does ever since the wedding.
Anywho, my uncle (our lawyer) was consulted, security at my husband’s dept and around our home have been notified. Thank you guys.
PS: Kelly if you’re reading this, do something about your younger daughter before something bad happens. Also you don’t deserve your older daughter.
Edit: a Moriarty level manipulation…now that makes more sense not sherlock tf
RELEVANT COMMENTS
I3ex_G

Damn, can your lawyer uncle draft a letter to scare Amy? Just outlining what she is doing is harassment and the outcome if she continues? Sounds like Amy might need mental help and threats of repercussions might force her mother’s hand to getting her help. Is the dad around? I hope other family members will start pressuring Amy to get help

OOP

Nope, we couldn’t prove it was Amy that called. We just have to wait and see if she does anything. Our only hope is that she stays broke and can’t afford to travel to where we live since it’s far from hers. Her dad’s dead. I hope so too.

~
procrastinating_b

Why’s everyone got an uncle lawyer lol

OOP

I’m half Asian. That uncle is Asian too. That should answer your question

Forsaken_Woodpecker1

I’m rolling this response is hilarious 🤣

NEW UPDATE

Update 2 - Final Update May 16, 2024
I’ll try and see if I can update on here since I cant update again on relationships advice. Posts are in my profile for now.
I’ve got so many dms wanting an update but some (legal things) happened since and I couldn’t tell especially since everyone that was involved knows about this post already.
We have the number of the woman who called but it wasn’t Amy’s number (I have her number) but she could’ve gotten another number. At that time, I was almost confident it was her so I got the name of the person the phone number was registered to. We’ll call her Cece Smith. What threw me off was this person had been using that number for 7 years BUT I later found out this woman lived/lives in the area Amy lives. I called Lisa to ask if she knew who Cece is and lo and behold Cece is Amy’s best friend. I told Lisa about the call to the clinic, she went silent, said she had to go and ended the call.
The next day (March 21st) Lisa texted me that she had gotten a verbal confession from Amy about the call to my husband’s clinic. Not only that, when everything happened right after the wedding, I had not blocked Amy from my instagram yet. She must have gone through my followers list and found my husband’s family, dm-ed them with ‘evidence’ that I was cheating on him. Wedding was on March 10th, the call was on March 15th, I blocked her March 16th. Some time after March 10th she had found and gotten in contact with my MIL, 2 SILs and my niece who is 13 years old about my ‘infidelity’. There were skeptical thank God and contacted my husband on March 23rd. I swear to god this girl is so stupid i dont get why she would waste her time on doing this and doing it very poorly at that. My SIL sent a screenshot of the chat from “mizz_(Amy’s real name)” to my husband and he wanted to throw his phone to the wall. Lisa sent me the recording of the entire call she had with Amy admitting to everything and some serious threats about what she would do to me. One of which that she was going to report me to my state medical board (no basis whatsoever like I said, she is an idiot, the premium kind).
We got in touch with my uncle (yes the lawyer who u guys were so baffled about seriously why is it so surprising that I have an uncle who’s a lawyer his wife is a lawyer and so is their daughter, they are a very righteous family idk what else to say), we sent a C&D letter telling Amy to not contact me, husband and in-laws and I let my chief of surgery and head of my program know about this just in case.
March 29th she really reported me to the medical board (it doesn’t have to be doctor-patient related, a doctor could be harassing someone in the grocery store and a witness can report that doctor to the board, THAT is the purpose of creating this avenue to complain) even though they were warned about this, they still had to do the preliminary investigations on me and interview me to hear my side. Major pain in the ass for me especially since I’m 5-months pregnant. The case on me is closed.
April 3rd Amy dm-ed my niece again with ‘new evidence’ of my infidelity. My sweet niece ran to her mom who told my husband and me. We got a court ordered restraining order against her now. When all of this happened, Lisa was helping me along the way, the cherry on top was when Lisa had access to Amy’s email and her instagram (she never logged out), posted how she tried to homewreck a marriage and outing Amy online with screen shots and snippets of the phone call. Lisa changed her password and Amy couldn’t log in to delete it. Lisa made this known to her entire family and they are putting pressure on her mom (hi Kelly) to rein her in. I dont know the specifics but they are using the family inheritance or some heirloom as a bargaining chip for her to behave good. The girl has some mental issues for sure would love to give her a lobotomy.
I hope to god this is the last of this and Amy stays away from us but I have this gnawing feeling that she’s going to try something again. Lisa is the hero in this honestly, she’ll continue to keep an eye out to see if Amy starts shit again (if she does Lisa’s going to hire a hitman so she says).
I dont even know how to TLDR this. Read it or don’t. I hope this is the final update. To the people who don’t believe this happened it did happen but since it’s so unreal, i don’t blame you.
Ps- husband and I are going to couples counseling together as per advised in the comments of the prior post. We are doing very well, he’s planning an intimate gender reveal soon for me (he knows the gender since he’s a trained sonographer lol).
If there’s any question I’ll be happy to answer. Will delete this account in a few days
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