Introduction:

Hello, Hello everyone! I hope yall are doing good, and a Happy Pride Month to any and all who celebrate it. With a new month, comes a new challenge, and this one was right up my alley. Some of you will remember this concept from a couple of weeks ago, when it was a mere rough concept, but after taking feedback and seeing this month's challenge, I have fully ironed it all out. This is also the first time I have designed a Support Champion instead of a Carry or Bruiser style, and as you can probably tell from my submission history, I love making Mechanically Complex and Unique Champions. A Mechanically Complex/Unique Support was difficult for me, but as I mentioned, I got a lot of good feedback from people, and was able to create O'Rin, Lady of Butterflies
O'Rin is an Ionian, Vastaya that is supposed to be a mix of Battle Mage (or Warlock as I like to call them) and Enchanter, similar to Karma in that intrinsically she is a Support Champion that needs to be with an Ally in order to function, however she provides extreme amounts of Battlefield Utility and Damage, in this case through her Butterflies. Unlike Karma however, O'Rin is almost firmly set as a Bot LaneSupport Champion because her abilities revolve and rely on her allies. She could be a Mid Laner, in conjunction with a very tempo-oriented or Snowballing style Jungler, however she has very little tools in her kit that this would require, namely waveclear, consistent damage abilities and Lane Pressure of her own. On the other hand, just like Karma, O'Rin is designed to forego the traditional Support Items, barring World Atlas and maybe Imperial Mandate, in favor of AP Items as she scale incredibly well with Raw AP and Mage items in general. I foresee her Core build being World Atlas (Zak'Zak's Realmspike) > Imperial Mandate > Rabadan's Deathcap > Banshees's Veil/Cosmic Drive/etc in order to maximize the AP that she can get to turbocharge not only her Butterflies but also her abilities, especially considering that the abilities come with decently long cooldowns.
As to how she support's her Allies, O'Rin provides devastatingly powerful effects at the cost of long Cooldowns and Conditional Activation that relies on her teammates. She is very clearly designed to work in Higher Elos with Higher Skill pilots, however she provides a vast array of tools within her kit. The Butterflies on their own provide True Damage, Nearsighting. Crowd Control Amplification, Executes, %Max Health Burn Damage, Damage Amplification and Healing. Of course you cannot access these effects at the same time, but similar to Viego, participating in a Takedown Chain will allow you to rapidly cycle between effects of your choosing, allowing you to rapidly inflict whatever effects you want while in the middle of combat. In addition, her actual abilities provide Knock backs, Stuns, Heals, Shields, and of course work with her butterflies, creating a very potent Support Champion, at the cost of being incredibly squishy, incredibly complex and incredibly team reliant. More specific detail will be talked about in the Analysis Section below.

Base Stats:

Base Health: 530 + 90/Level
Health Regen: 4.0 + 0.5/Level
Base Mana: 400 +35/Level
Mana Regen: 7 + 0.5/Level
Armor: 30 + 4/Level
Magic Resist: 28+ 2/Level
Base AD: 50
Base AP: 70
Movement Speed: 335
Attack Range: 575

Abilities:

Passive: Butterfly Swarm:
O'Rin has a swarm of 3 Butterflies surrounding her, increasing by 1 when she reached Level 6, 11 and 16. Damaging Abilities and Applying Crowd Control send a Butterfly with a Unique Effect to that enemy. Healing or Shielding an Ally will instead send a Butterfly to them, empowering them to send a Butterfly of their own via the same conditions. Butterflies will stay with Allies for 15 seconds, before returning to O'Rin. If an Ally dies while bonded to a Butterfly, the Butterfly will immediately return to O'Rin.
Enemies can only be affected by a Butterfly' sent from the same Host every 10 seconds, unless Monarch's Ascension is used, Once a Butterfly has applied its' effects, it takes 1-5 Seconds, depending on distance from O'Rin, to return to her, and it cannot be sent to an enemy or ally until it is fed again.
O'Rin's Butterflies apply Unique Effects, depending on what plant O'Rin has fed them. Once all of O'Rin's Butterflies have been sent to an Enemy and returned, they must be fed again for the next 1.5 seconds, during which they are unable to be sent to an Enemy or Ally. O'Rin can choose what plant to feed them, to change what effect they apply:
White Lotus: Butterflies will deal an additional 12.5% Current Health True Damage to their Target
Black Nightshade: Butterflies will Nearsight Enemies and reduce their Movement Speed by 50% for 3 seconds. Additionally, the duration of any Crowd Control Effects applied within this time is amplified by 50%
Green Hemlock: Butterflies will Execute target Enemies if they fall below 7.5% Max Health. This effect will apply up to 1.5 seconds after the Butterfly lands on a target.
Red Wisteria: Butterflies will burn Enemies for 7.5% Max Health Magic Damage over 3 seconds
Blue Jasmine: Butterflies will deal an additional 40 + 20% Bonus AP Magic Damage to the target, and heal O'Rin or the ally which they where bonded to by 150% of the damage dealt.
Additionally, Butterflies will apply O'Rin's On-Hit and On-Damage effects only, however an Ally's Attack or Ability will apply their On-Hit or On-Attack effects like normal, via their own Attack or Ability.
Q: Chrysalis Kunai
Passive: O'Rin can store an amount of charges of this ability equal to the maximum amount of Butterflies she has. She regenerates a charge every 3 seconds. When she runs out of charges, O'Rin must be out of combat for at least 5 seconds before she will start regenerating charges again. Each charge has a 0.5 second, static cooldown between uses.
Enemies hit with 3 Kunai within 3 seconds are Knocked Away from O'Rin. If they hit Terrain, they are stunned for 0.75 Seconds, and a Butterfly is sent to them, if one is available and will apply its' effect, regardless of Butterfly Swarm.
Active: O'Rin throws an enchanted Kunai at a target enemy, dealing 20/30/40/50/60 + 35% Total AP Magic Damage.
Static Cooldown: 0.5 Seconds
Static Mana Cost: 25
W: Nectar of the Ancients
Passive: On Takedown, O'Rin can re-feed her Butterflies.
Active: O'Rin gives a target Ally some of her Sacred Nectar, healing them for 50/60/70/80/90 +40/45/50/55/60% Bonus AP and giving them 25/30/35/40/45% Bonus Movement Speed for the next 2.5/2.75/3/3.25/3.5 Seconds.
Cooldown: 15 Seconds
Mana Cost: 75
E: Flight of Beauty
Passive: While under the effects of Flight of Beauty, Allies cannot receive a Butterfly from O'Rin via Nectar of the Ancients, or Items, unless O'Rin is the target, in which case all of her Butterflies will contribute towards this ability.
Active: O'Rin surrounds herself or an Ally with half of her Butterflies, prioritizing ones that must be fed, granting them a (30/40/50/60 + 15/20/25/30/35% Total AP) per Butterfly, Shield for the next 2.5 Seconds. During this time, if any of the Butterflies can still apply their effects, and O'Rin or her Ally attempts to send a Butterfly to an enemy, then they will leave their Host and the Shield will decrease by the aforementioned amount.
Cooldown: 22/19/16/13/10 Seconds
Mana Cost: 125
R: Monarch's Ascension
Passive: If O'Rin dies while her Butterflies are in a Frenzy, the Butterflies will leave their hosts, and the Frenzy will dissipate.
Active: O'Rin summons all of her Butterflies back, feeds them with a plant of her choosing, puts them into a Frenzy for the next 15 seconds, and then sends her Butterflies to all of her nearby Allies. While in a Frenzy, they gain the following benefit;

• Butterflies can now apply their effects 3 times before they must be fed again
• Butterflies will now travel 2x faster to and from Targets, Allies and O'Rin
• While in a Frenzy, Butterflies will return to their Host instead of O'Rin
• Butterflies from the same Host can affect the same Target every 3 seconds now

Once all Butterflies have calmed down, they return to O'Rin and must be fed once again.
Cooldown: 180/120/60 Seconds
Mana Cost: 100

Lore:

Long Ago, when peace and harmony covered the land, the Spirits walked freely across the Land of Ionia. With them, the Vastaya did as well, romancing the humans and embracing the calm and steady life that Ionia was known for. Each Spirit took the form of an animal native to Ionia, and roamed the land, wholly unknown to the commonfolk and sustaining the Spirit of Ionia itself.
Mirithra, the Spirit of Nature itself, was oft to take the form of a Large, Colourful Butterfly and roamed the land, making sure that the Humans and Vastaya alike kept it proper. Myths and Legends grew from this, describing either a gentle, protective Butterfly that blessed those who came upon it, or a monstrous, cannibalistic flying creature that consumed any and all who dared tread foot on its' land. Nobody knew which story was true, yet all who walked amongst the sleepy forests, along the ivory coasts, up the craggy, granite peaks kept this story in mind. At the same time, others dismissed such things as the story that it was.
Indeed, there where some that took this the other way, and instead of treading carefully, took it upon themselves to hunt and slay this creature, not understanding what it actually was. Most failed, however after the son of a Lord was killed, the Spirit was hunted and slain. The beautiful butterfly that once flew through the forests, was cast into the depths of a dark cave. Its wings broken, its body full of stone and lead, it reverted into a Chrysalis and the Spirit went into a deep hibernation.
Millennia passed, and the tectonic forces of the world eventually revealed the entrance to the cave once more, and this was how O'Rin's ancestors found it. Still in the Golden Age of Ionia, her ancestors nurtured the Chrysalis, for they where stewards of the land instead of defilers of nature. After many years, the Spirit awoke yet again, but this time forsoke its bestial form. The only remnant was an intricate tattoo in the shape of a butterfly, that lain upon the chest of the clan's newborn child. But this was no ordinary marking, for rather it was a blessing by the Spirit upon its' caretakers, that gave them an extended life of eternal youth and the ability to commune with the Spirits themselves.
The ones marked by such a tattoo where elevated to Matriarch or Patriarch of the clan itself, for such powers where a sight to behold, and came with great wisdom and a long, powerful life. Yet for all these gifts, only the first born child of the Blessed could be granted such powers as well, and upon that child's birth, the Blessed would be found dead and a Butterfly would be found amongst the child's cradle. The butterfly would be a lifelong companion of the new Blessed, as they grew and matured both into a caretaker of Ionia and as the head of the clan.
O'Rin was the newest in this line. Just as previous generations had, her mother had died in childbirth, and her father had vanished, and in their place O'Rin was born with the tattoo upon her chest and a venom black butterfly resting upon her cradle. Such an ominous sign was not forgotten by the clan's elders, for this was the first time in history that a Black Butterfly was found with a child. In a quick, panic-driven, fear-induced coup, they cast out O'Rin as the head of the house, throwing her into the deepest, darkest prison within the massive estate.
Located amongst the high peaks of Northern Ionia, within the dense granite, the prison was O'Rin's home for the first part of her life. Yet within the darkness, amongst the cool air, isurrouunded by unyielding stone, the Black Butterfly found its way to O'Rin and just as previous generations, accompanied her as she grew within the the Prison known only as The Well of Despair. Yet instead of despair, O'Rin grew and matured with a sense of defiance. Instead or murderers, rapists and all other sort of criminals, she found instead people who where loyal to the estate rather then the Elders. Unbeknownst to the recent generations, the clan's elders had slowly corrupted and consolodated power to themselves, deposing all who stood in their way, and turning O'Rin's family into a puppet, while they ran the estate for themselves. With the Black Butterfly at her side, these former soldiers, stewards, clerics and advisors raised O'Rin in the ways of her ancestors. Reading by the ghostly candlelight, sh learned of the legends behind her family. Training by the handful of hours fo snlight, she became adept at a multitude of martial arts. Speaking in echoes through the mountains, she learned the Common Languages and the Uncommon languages.
In time, her Vastayan Roots came to fruition as well. From a young age, her skin was mottled and grew into rough scales. Her tongue, grew longer, and eventually split into a fork during her teenage years. Her irises changed from wholly circular to narrow slits, yet her vision became acutely stronger. Through her childhood, such changes where met with awe, and could not be controlled,yet in her teenage years she became adept at changing herself at will. She could disguise her mottled, scales as pale, smooth skin. She coudl shorten and fuse her tongue for a short time. She could rapidly grow out her hair after much exhaustion, to lose it days later.
Soon, her day of reckoning came, for upon her ascent to womanhood, she and her adoptive family escaped from the mountain prison, and set off for her ancestral home. Behind her a massive vanguard followed, made up of all those who who where falsely imprisoned with her, but also the humans and vastaya alike who where downtrodden by the clan's elders. Yet beside her always, was the same Black Butterfly that had been with her since birth.
She and her allies quickly overwhelmed the Elder's soldiers, and she retook her ancestral position back. With great speed and brutal efficiency, she purged the corruption and rot within the estate and instituted people who where not only loyal, but also capable in their place. Nevermore, was anything like this going to happen to her family again, and indeed the estate continued to thrive. Notably, she had her people hide and protect her lands with the strongest magic they knew of. Nestled between a mountain ranges, and amongst sleepy forests, these magiks guaranteed their survival from any potential physical and political invaders.
By in large the estate functioned like normal. Her vassals continued with their life, living in peace and prosperity like all before them, but she instituted a strict return to the stewardship that had been lost generations ago. Her land, while physically hidden, was quite easily accessible, and it became a respite for the Spirits, be they escaping from Human Hunters, or the Azakana that opposed them. Make no mistake, Humans, Vastaya and all in between lived amongst her estate, but only the Spirits could come and go as they pleased.
The heart of this Stewardship, was the Butterfly Shrine, where not only the original Spirit of Nature, Mirithra, permanently lived, but any other Spirit could visit to rest and recover in either their Mortal Form or their Animalistic Form. The Butterfly Shrine was half in the physical realm and half in the Spirit Realm, and was the crown jewel of O'Rin's estate. Humans could come and go, offering prayers and offerings to the Spirits, while the Spirits themsleves could rest, safe from the influence of physical hunters and Azakana alike.
The smoke from prayer incense drifted constantly through the air. Silent prayer took place amongst the Courtyards and Gardens. Food and other offerings where placed at the numerous shrines. The Gardens themselves where tended and amongst the plants, an incomprehensible collection of Butterflies lived with the Spirits. Notably, O'Rin's signature Black Butterfly could always be seen amongst the swarm of rainbow colored insects, for just like her ancestors, O'Rin had the power to commune directly with the Spirits directly within the realm, and served as bridge between worlds, and Mirithra had quickly bonded with her, re-uniting her family line, with the Spirit itself.
It was her duty as the Speaker of the Spirits to commune with them, but it was also her duty as Aegis of the Ancients to protect them as well. Such was the case, when invaders pierced the veil between worlds and began to defile the land with chaotic, dark magic. Yet as quick as they came, they fell quicker still for O'Rin wielded powers that where hitherto unseen. The gardens of the Butterfly Shrine, home to Butterflies and Spirits alike, rose up against the invaders. Thought quite beautiful, the Butterflies where capable of destruction themselves and O'Rin was their caretaker.
In time, she met a handful of outsider, that somehow traversed through the Spirit World and had arrived at the Butterfly Shrine. She knew not how they had survived, nor why they had come, yet all who arrived where clearly strong enough to survive amongst the Spirit Wilds, and respectful of the Spirits themselves to travel amongst them for so long. She met a tall, lithe swordsmen, with a red mask bound to his face, bleeding from many wounds and collapsed upon the forest's floor. She met a Ninja Master and his Apprentice, traveling amongst the Wilds, in search of the Spirits themselves, in search of harmony. She met an armored warrior. and his Acolytes, wielding shadowy, chaotic magic also in search of a Spirit. She offered them a respite, amongst her people and Spirit's alike and it was only their respect of the Spirits that kept them alive. As for keeping the Butterfly Shrine a secret, O'Rin bound all of them with a Blood Oath before they left the refuge, cursing them to hold their tongue lest they immolate in unending Spirit Fire.
In time, she found herself growing older, and with it came new responsibilities. She was of child-bearing age, and Tradition and Fate meant that she was to take a lover and give birth to a new heir, one who would take up the mantle as Speaker of the Spirits and Aegis of the Ancients. Yet O'Rin took care in whom she pursued, for haste was of nigh importance to her. She did eventually take a lover after many years, and many years after that they married, and years after that she found herself heavy with child. By no means, was she her young self that had overthrown the Elders but nor was she an old, demented Lady like the Elders that she had overthrown. Her pregnancy would be long and hard, but she was determined to uphold her duties till the birth of her daughter. In her mind,she knew that her life's end was near upon her, yet she felt a serene sense of happiness, knowing that child would be born into a safe world, accompanied by a Butterfly of their own, and would serve the Spirits as she had, reaping the same benefits she had.

Quotes and Interactions:

Pick Quote: Behold! The Butterfly Swarm takes flight!
Ban Quote: The Swarm will not rest!
Zed: My Butterflies will devour you and your dark magic, Defiler!
Shen: My praises, Spirit Walker. The Spirits themselves bow to you...
Akali: Careful young one! Your blades are Sharp, but my Butterflies are hungry!
Kennen: Where you to visit the Butterfly Shrine, you would achieve the Enlightenment that you so desperately desire...
Syndra: I pity thou. An unjust fate, for a woman whom was destined for greatness...
Karma: Your play at serving the Spirits! My family has served for Millennia!
Yone: The Azakana have been culled, and for that you have my thanks!
Xayah: Your actions are admirable! Mayhaps you would join our Sanctuary?
Rakan: A pity that you are spoken for, but your loyalty is admirable nonetheless!

Inspiration:

I was debating whether to put this above, but I decided to put it here. Apologies in advance to TheHerald for having to read all the way down here in order to see if this qualifies for the competition. This champion qualifies for the competition under the Art of Inspiration. My initial Inspiration was from Vincent van Gogh's Butterfly Series, however the specific Inspiration behind the Butterfly Swarm Theme and the Feeding Mechanic is Long Grass and Butterflies as well as Grass and Butterflies. The paintings are an abstract work where you can interpret the paint as either long grass in a field while blowing in the wind, or Butterflies feeding upon grass in a field. This became the initial inspiration, and of course I took it and ran to create the fundamental mechanics behind O'Rin.

Gameplay Analysis:

Writing a Gameplay Analysis is almost as fun as designing the champions themselves. It allows me to explain how my vision for the Champion and their gameplay, while also allowing me to reflect upon the design process and fix any errors or ambiguities that arise. But anyway, I digress.
O'Rin's main Mechanic is of course the Butterfly Swarm that she manipulates. Just a disclaimer, this is the first time I have ever build a Support Champion, however I think I did a decent job. Initially the effects that the Swarm can apply look to be incredibly strong on their own, in fact when I designed them I thought about what sort of passive would I give to a BruiseHypercarry, ie:

• %Current Health True Damage is very similar to Fiora's passive, and incredibly strong in the hands of a Bruiser or Assassin
• Nearsighted and Crowd Control Amplification are rare enough effects that a Support's entire Passive could be just this and it would be strong.
• Green Hemlock is The Collector's Passive but slightly better, and while you don't necessarily build The Collector for the Execute, and Execute is an Execute. This is incredibly good for Bruisers and/or Marksmen
• Red Wisteria is Burn effect that scales with Max Health. Everyone knows how annoying Brand is, and the ability for multiple people to apply this is similar in that vein. This could very well be a Mage's Passive on its' own.
• Blue Jasmine is a decently strong Damage Modifier, that also heals for a huge portion of the damage dealt. On its' own this could be the passive for a BruiseAssassin

However, these strong effects are gated behind some conditions that neuter O'Rin from spinning out of Control. Namely, that you can only apply these effects from the same "Host" once every 10 seconds, or in the case of her Ultimate, once every 3 seconds. Coordinating these effects would mean having a team that actually knows what O'Rin does and can function around her, which is the second Mechanism that keeps her balanced. O'Rin's intrinsic Butterfly Mechanics rely on your ADC/Team as a whole to understand what they do, and how it affects the rest of the kit. For example, Flight of Beauty is a shielding ability, but it can also be turned into an Offensive Ability at the cost of the Shield itself. The final effect that gates O'Rin, is the fact that all of her Butterflies have the same effect, which means that based on your Gamestate and Team Composition, you may want a different effect. For example, if you have a high octane, early game comp, White Lotus and Blue Jasmine are going to be more valuable compared to Black Nightshade or Red Wisteria. Consequently, if you are facing a heavy BruiseTank/Juggernaut Comp, then Red Wisteria and Green Hemlock will be more valuable. Even if you are skirmishing in 2v2s instead of 5v5s, then Black Nightshade would be more valuable then anything else, because you can lock down and kill the carry int he skirmish fast. What ability to use and spread to your Allies is going to depend on a lot of factors, and having a good team that can capitalize on your decision is also important for O'Rin to function properly
As mentioned, Flight of Beauty and Nectar of the Ancients are the abilities that synergize the best with the overall Butterfly Mechanic. Nectar of the Ancients is a decently strong, scaling heal, but more importantly this is the main way that O'Rin can get a Butterfly onto an Ally. Butterflies will only go to an Ally if O'Rin can heal or Shield them, so she needs one of each type of ability. The Heal itself scales incredibly with AP and also applies a MS Bonus that scales with rank in how long it lasts and how large the bonus is. Truth be told, this is a very powerful ability on its' own, but combine it an the Butterfly Mechanic, and you have an Enchanter that is unquely suited for more aggressive ADCs instead of scaling Hyper Carries. Flight of Beauty is the shielding ability, and uniquely it scale not only with rank, with AP but also with Butterflies. Specifically, the AP Ratio increases with Rank, and because O'Rin intrinsically scales the amount of Butterflies that she has, it also increases the total Shielding AP Ratio that is used.
Then we come to the Coup de Grace of the kit, Monarch's Acension. In essence, t is really simple, because it is a huge stat boost at the end of the day, but it allows O'Rin to make her Buttrflies and in extension her teammates extremely lethal and punishing. First, it automatically allows O'Rin to re-feed her Butterflies, which means that she can change what effect they apply just before or just after a teamfigth starts. From there it provides utility, such as the ability to re-apply effects on the same target every 3 seconds instead of 10, as well as being able to apply said effects 3 times instead of 1 before needing to be fed. This makes her O'Rin absolutely lethal in team fights, as applying something like Black Nightshade or White Lotus on a significantly lower cooldown and with the ability to do it multiple times means that unless O'Rin is dealt with immediately or before a fight, it will be very hard to combat, given the sheer amount of stats and effects that she allows her team to apply. However, killing O'Rin will dissipate the swarm, and therefore if you can kill her early in the fight, then the combat pressure she applies will also be gone
The main point behind having such High AP Ratios that scale as hard as they do was to incentivize O'Rin to not build Support Items, but rather AP/Mage Items. All of her abilities scale incredibly hard with AP, and this is because I wanted to push her towards a more Karma-esque build path. My intended, or rather predicted build path would be a World Atlas (into Zak'Zak's Realmspike) into a Blackfiretorch, followed by an Imperial Mandateand finished by a Rabadan's Deathcap. This gives the Mana and Raw AP, which O'Rin desperately needs/wants to turbo charge her abilities, whilst till providing some form of Support Utility. Namely, Imperial Mandate is arguably the best Support Item in the game, and O'Rin perfectly synergies with it, given her poke with Chrysalis Kunai and the Crowd Control Effects on Black Nightshade. Dipping into Imperial Mandate reduces the total amount of AP you can get in 3 items, which realistically Supports most commonly hit only 3 items or so, but the Coordinated Fire effect synergizes too much with the kit to not dip into it. Blackfire Torch gives her the Mana she needs, and also AP, but more importantly the Burn from BFT will spread via her Butterflies that deal damage. This means that with the help of her Allies, she can very quickly spread the Burn to many enemies, which in turn amplifies her AP temporarily, which in turn amplifies her Healing and Shielding. Rabadan's Deathcap is a must for any AP Centric Build, so that is why its the Capstone of this build.
Rune Wise, I actually think that O'Rin would take Unsealed Spellbook more then any other Keystone Rune. She is unique in that she does not really benefit from any other runes specifically, as the entire kit is really around enabling her teammates, but on the flip side, the traditional support runes really do not feel like they would fit either. Summon Aery would be the other potential Keystone Rune, but at the same time O'Rin actually benefits from being able to cycle her Summoner Spells because it would give her the flexibility she needs in order to survive or switch gears to help her teammates. Beyond that, I catered her Base Stats to be very Mana Hungry, so going Inspiration Primary with Boots + Biscuits > Sorcery Secondary with Mana Runes would probably be her most optimal Rune page.
Finally, in terms of weakness, O'Rin is designed to be incredibly squishy and immobile. Her Cooldowns are pretty long, and her envisioned build path has little little CDR. As well, her abilities are impactful when used offensively or on other people, so not wasting it on herself and using it on the proper target is important. Additionally, her high dependence on AP means that she is goign to be buying the most expensive item in the game, being Rabadan's Deathcap, which not only has a terrible buildpath but is coming off the income of a Support. In total, O'Rin really wants to play aggressively and snowball her lane matchups, while simultaneously being incredibly squishy and immobile. As well, she wants to be paired up with an aggressive ADC, which means that she will often be putting herself in danger, but if she can be piloted correctly, she can take over games on her own, given how strong her Butterflies are and how fasts he scales with AP.

There’s probably a billion posts like this. Here’s another one.
I genuinely dislike almost everything about myself. The only two parts of my body that I like are my irises, because they’re green, and my right ear, because it is shapely and pointed slightly at the tip. Not my left ear, because the conch of it curls inwards at the top.
Those are the only two parts.
My feet are big and my shoulders are wide, my face is too big for my head, my lips are too small for my face, my jaw is too wide for my features. My eyes are uneven and sunken into my face— there are hollows beneath and my browbone juts out like a Neanderthals. My nose is bulbous and has little form, it looks like a lump on my face. My cheekbones are defined on one side but it the other, I look very lopsided. I’m female but look like a man. A bit like shrek as a human, if you’ve seen that movie.
That’s just my appearance. I didn’t mention anything about my personality.
One thing I have going for me is that I’m relatively self aware. Self aware enough that I’m able to identify aspects of myself which are less than desirable. I am however not intelligent enough to salve those aspects. Here are some positives about my personality:
I’m friendly I can keep a conversation going if need be
Despite those two qualities I will not say that I am good at talking to people. Quite the opposite. I will talk until my throat hurts. I frequently misstep in conversation and navigate with the finesse of a toddler swinging a hammer. I get impatient and angry. I can never give straight answers. I’m a people-pleaser (and suck at it). I’m pretty dumb.
My voice is shrill and annoying. I can’t catch a hint. I trip on my words often. As this post may indicate, I wallow in my own self-misery
I’m ungrateful. I can’t focus on anything. I can’t maintain relationships. All my relationships down want to maintain their relationship with me.
There’s more but this post is long enough.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m not smart, I’m not pretty, and my body isn’t appealing enough to be used as a hunk of meat. (Not that I want that, it’s just unfortunate I can’t do even that.)
I’m just a gross, useless human being.
(I’m not suicidal or anything. I only have one life and it’ll be over in seventy more years or so)
I just want this off my chest.

i keep getting pretty decent sized tonsil stones that make my throat pretty sore. when they come out / when i get them out it leaves pretty decent size holes and they don’t go away and they keep coming out the same holes. should i be worried? or just get my tonsils removed? they happen frequently like almost daily.

"A job is a job" they say. But I took one in 2008 that blew the logic behind that saying right out of the water. I was hired by Ben Shapiro to be the DJ at his upcoming wedding. I knew he was pretty well off so I expected pretty good pay. Over the phone I asked him what music he was looking for, what his wedding march would be, what he wanted played at the reception afterwards. And he told me to travel light because he had the music selection taken care of. Just bring the speakers and the stereo equipment. That's all.
"Easy enough" I thought to myself. I love it when it only takes me 5 to 10 minutes to load up and just as much time to set up. I arrived at the wedding venue and upon entering I see something that should have set off alarm bells. But I needed that money.
Next to the main archway were two morbidly obese men dressed in nothing but red satin Speedos and juggalo face paint. Both of them are wielding what I can only describe as 24 inch long double dongs. Every time a guest would enter, they would frantically beat each other with the transparent green phallic clubs. Once the guests found their seats, the two men would sit down and make eyes at each other only to repeat the process.
"Hey, I see you made it!" Said a voice from across the room. There stood Mr. Shapiro dressed in a salmon colored tuxedo with a neon green button-up shirt and a cobalt blue business suit tie with a picture of what I can only describe as Jessica rabbit giving birth to a pint of Ben & Jerry's chunky monkey ice cream on Violent J's tummy tum. He smiled at me and I could feel a chill run up my spine.
"I see you brought the equipment! Did you leave your music at home?" He asked expectantly.
I struggled to find the words but eventually speak up: "Y-yes Sir. Every last CD booklet is still sitting in my supply closet. It's just whatever you've got."
He smiles and starts fishing around in his pocket. Pulls out a few paper clips, some old chewing gum, a lambskin condom, and finally he hands me a thumb drive with a picture of Sally acorn blowing Goofy laser etched into it.
"Just pop that in your laptop and when I give you the thumbs up hit play. Don't stop until everything is done. If we go over time, keep playing it. Feel me?"
I just nodded and prepped the equipment.
As the guests started filing in I hear who I guess was the pastor tell the guests to sit down because the ceremony is about to begin. I start looking around the room only to find Mr. Shapiro standing in a doorway adjacent to another room. I figure it's him and his groomsmen. He gives me the thumbs up and I do as he instructed. Press play.
Mr. Shapiro and his groomsmen come into the room and I finally pull my attention away from my equipment and look in that direction. The "priest" was actually a guy in a Chuck E cheese costume wearing a priest collar and a strap-on dildo. He looked happy to see everybody. The archway was made entirely out of chewed gum and barbed wire. Other than Ben, his groomsen were all dressed in neon colored faygo t-shirts and frilly Lolita skirts. For one reason or another his best man was holding what I can only guess was a box of smoked salmon in each hand. Ben pointed in my direction and instructed me to turn up the music.
To call it music would be generous. It was actually what I can only describe as the sound of somebody slowly stirring macaroni and cheese and occasionally coughing. I stared at my speakers in horror and then suddenly everybody stood up in unison. The bride was on her way down the aisle while this abomination blared through my speakers. But, that only held my attention for a second. I finally saw the bride. She was wearing a dress made entirely out of bubble wrap. Through the translucent dress I could see she was also wearing a matching set of fruit Roll-Up edible underwear and Daisy duck crocs.
The awkward ceremony proceeded as any other would have, an exchange of vows, putting on the rings, you may kiss the bride.. yada yada.
After he got done jamming his tongue down this woman's throat he mouths something to her. Years of doing this without protective ear equipment has admittedly damaged my hearing. So I've gotten good at reading lips. "Oh yeah baby, tonight you're going to give me that sandpaper dry ride."
I could only hope nobody else heard what he had to say. But guessing by the looks on a few of the guests faces, they were just as good at reading lips as I was. He then turned his attention back to me. "TRACK 3" he mouthed at me. "Okay." I thought to myself. I mean, this couldn't get any weirder, could it?
I was so so very wrong. And all too familiar robotic voice filled the room and suddenly I realize the actual song playing is "Slim Anus" by ICP. The guests looked horrified, and I decided to break protocol and skip to the next track only to find.. it was the same song.. 347 times over.
About the 30th time the song repeated, I start looking at the guests. Their eyes are glazing over, some of them are crying, children are beating the wedding cake which appeared to be made at entirely out of pureed chicken. People are absolutely losing their shit while Ben stares at them with a smile that says "I'm an absolute fucking gremlin."
I did my best to ignore the song but at the 346th repeat I started snapping myself. I look at the guests and I think to myself "Fuck it. I'll join them." As they screech like rabid gibbons and punch empty air. Some of them were throwing their own feces. At this point, they've absolutely devolved. What I didn't know was that the 347th repeat was coming to an end.
The song stopped and we thought we were free for a moment. I made my way back to my equipment only to realize the next song was starting "tiptoe to my window" as sung by Minnie mouse. I look at my screen, 839 times. Over and over and over again.
I look at this sick bastard and I see that he's opening up wedding presents while the guests aren't looking, somebody gifted him a bowling pin, he promptly dropped his drawers and begins to sit on this thing ever so slowly. I watching horror is it disappears.
Tiptoe to my window is blaring it deafening levels through my speakers and this man.. or at least shapeshifting creature passing itself off as one.. does a little dance to the front of the room in front of all the guests.
He smiles at them and I can see he's drooling a little bit. His eyes are watery. He's biting his lower lip. Getting absolute enjoyment out of this. He drops his drawers once again and proceeds to fart the bowling pin and two live hamsters through a stained glass window.
As he's giving everybody the full goatse, his prolapse gets aimed in my direction, he proceeds to fart a signed check and an 8 lb bag of Chuck E cheese tokens in my direction. They land perfectly on my table.
It's the first time I've ever done a job for free.
I packed up my equipment and left after that and I never looked back, unless you count those times when I wake up screaming at night. Thank you PTSD and night terrors.
TL:DR I'm a DJ that can confirm Ben Shapiro is into some weird shit.

Are there any studies anywhere that show the occurrence rate of bulbar in people age 26/mid twenties? Speech therapy for me hasn’t been going too well and my neurologist said she wants to see me again.
I can’t really pronounce the letter k or g. They just keep coming out as sort of breathy if that makes sense. Like my tongue isn’t connecting to the top to make those noises but is just going halfway up instead, hence causing the breathy airy sounds instead.
It also doesn’t help that liquids seem to only go down the left side of my throat. I’ll drink a cold glass of water or a hot cup of tea and only feel it going down the left side. My neck and under my chin have been twitching daily for the past few months too along with my right arm which has developed a tremor when i hold anything with it compared to my left. (also when i flex my arms with the same amount of strength, the bicep on my right arm takes forever to “form” when the left arm is instant.)
Any input would be appreciated, thanks.

I started having chronic “silent” acid reflux a few years ago, with no clue about what the cause was. I tried all the usual things (doctors visits, endoscopies, prilosec, bed tilt, no eating before bed, no carbonation, no acidic things, no caffeine, extreme elimination diets, truly everything i could think of)
I’ve been able to have it more under control and wanted to share what helped the most-

1. The elimination diet was brutal, i’m not sure i would recommend it, but it did clue me into some worst offenders for me (certain coffees, milk, etc). I paid for some ebook from some reflux influencer person and did this whole thing, it’s definitely scammy but I was desperate. I think any intentional elimination diet can help identify triggers though
   
2. Drinking americano coffee, eg diluted espresso. Somehow I’m guessing the dilution helps lower the acidity issue, though of course the caffeine lvl is the same so it may not work for everyone. I quit drinking coffee for a few months and this is what allowed me to reintroduce it
   
3. This is what actually had a big impact in reducing my back of the throat soreness - brushing my tongue every time I brush my teeth. I have no idea exactly why this works, if I have some bad bacteria or something, but this really helps. I just brush it with my toothbrush and toothpaste after brushing my teeth, but I bet something like a tongue scraper would be good. There may be some bacteria that activates the refluxed acid on the throat, or something, but it really helped me get it under control
   

Curious if anyone else has tried this and noticed an impact

Down in the dark, misty woods is a wretched beast. Cruel and vicious, she stalks her prey past bounds that would seem impossible to any normal creature. A giant hulking form tracks that which will fall to her hand with ease, the panicked flight of such pitiful meals making it all the easier to find them. Hoofprints against the ground here, scrapings of aged bark against the trees, the tufts of fur left behind on shrubbery.. it remains all too easy. The moon's shining light falls upon the forested floor through the canopy's stretched branches, revealing a quivering stag cornered against the wall. Low growls reverbrate across the forest, a lunge straight for the throat ending the poor thing's life.
Light spills out into the surrounding forest from a cabin, an unaware human man humming to himself as he cleans dishes in his home. Silent footsteps of this very same beast approach, great paws spreading over the ground to compensate for such a heavy body. The scent of yet more food came over her nose, maw opening ever so slightly wider to take the aroma in. A tongue licks over hungry jowls, advancing towards the home and preparing.. The man heard a slight noise outside of his cabin, stepping towards the door and calling out an "I'm coming!" with a chipper tone. His door opened outward, a surprised gasp leaving him as a great and terrible form opened her mouth wide..
And dropped a limp buck before him, nar a scratch on it other than it's torn throat. The man was beaming, stepping over the game and wrapping his arms around the monster. "Oh, love, you're so generous! Goodness, did you do all this for me..? You know you don't have to feed me, honey, I do well enough on my own.." He pressed kisses against her, a low purr heard only by him. "..just stay here, baby, I'll get you some of that shepherd's pie I just set out. After that, I think a good brushing is in order; you have so much debris on you.."
[Good evening, afternoon, or morning! I'm posting this in search of someone else who's just as fond of the "terrifying/sweet as sugar" matchup here- with a bit of a monstrous twist! I've had a bit of a thing for great big beasts, understand. Terrifying monsters whom are unmatched by any natural creature, who could very well just devour a human in an instant- and do so, often, with one sole exception. There's always the how and why of their meeting and relationship, which could have several answers..
In any case, the example I have above in my writing isn't the only way I would enjoy this! There could be an aquatic terror and a sweet visitor to her waters, a horrifying alien monster and the one lucky consort, an awe-inspiring lovecraftian creature and a devout worshiper.. I'm open to ideas, trust me! I can roleplay here on reddit, over discord, or telegram; just only in third person.

It was like Amazon. For boyfriend's.
According to his bio, Cam was a cat person.
His favorite food was sushi, and he loved horror movies.
His profile was cute. Cam’s photo looked professionally taken. He was a guy in his mid twenties with a slight curl in his lip that teased the start of a smile. Maybe a little on the pretentious side with the Sherlock style trench coat, though his eyes were what pulled me in.
I don't think I had ever seen that shade of blue.
Like staring directly into a perfect, crystalline blue sky.
Not quite natural, but too beautiful to ignore.
Cam was perfect.
Now, I didn't really think this Hire-a-boyfriend thing through.
I found the app through a link my friend Hannah sent me.
After just getting out of a pretty toxic relationship, finding someone to just hang out with was more comforting than dwelling on a relationship I have trouble even remembering. I don't think I can describe loving someone I don't remember. I have zero memories of him, only a vague sense that I was drowning.
That I had to run, to get away from him.
His face inside my mind is more of an outline, a shadow I can't make out. My therapist said it was PTSD, my mind’s way of dealing with trauma. I don't know the details, but I woke up in the emergency room with stitches in the back of my head.
Hanna was straight forward in her text.
She told me Hire-a-Boyfriend pulled her out of depression.
I was sceptical, though the app looked legit.
Like I said, it was Amazon. For boyfriend's.
The interface was cute.
When I signed in through my apple account, the app required a questionnaire after registering.
They asked details such as my likes, hobbies, and who and what I was in the mood for.
The Boyfriend™️ was a bestseller.
I found Cam on the feature page. His reviews were sparkling.
I hired Cam for a wedding! He was amazing! So polite, I wish he was my real bf :( - Lissa.
“Watched a movie with Cam, and he talked all the way through it. Not in a bad way lol, the movie was terrible. This guy was hot. I fully recommend”! - Ryan.
”Hire a bf is amazing lmao, my friends actually thought we were dating. The plastic thing ruins it tho. 😭” - Mina.
Scrolling down, there were even Husbands™️.
Husbands were more expensive, and could be hired for up to three days.
The Boyfriend™️, however, was only available for 2 hours up to a full night.
The app intrigued me.
I thought it was a joke, but could I really hire a pretend boyfriend?
Before I knew what was happening, I was on my second glass of wine, and my credit card was definitely in my hand, squeezed between my fingers.
In the back of my mind, hiring a boyfriend was a whole other level of dystopia.
However, I was still lying to college friends about being taken. Even worse, I blabbed I was fucking engaged at twenty three. This was definitely a me problem. My initial plan was to close down the app and install Tinder.
But my credit card was feeling heavy in my hand, the corner spiking my palm.
Cam was 50 bucks for half a day with him.
50 bucks I would otherwise spend on Uber Eats or over-expensive makeup.
Tapping on Cam, my hands were shaking. I was halfway through the hiring process that was settling on a day, a time, and a location, when a discounted Boyfriend™️ popped up.
Roman.
23.
Leaving soon!!!
Roman had two reviews, which was just a string of heart emojis and another that was hidden. I did see the start of it, but I wouldn't let me tap read more.
Hey! Isn't this… [REVIEW HIDDEN]
The guy’s lack of bio was slightly off-putting. No likes or hobbies, not even a favorite TV show. Roman’s photo stood out, however. Dark hair that was the perfect kind of messy, freckles, and a far-away look, half lidded eyes not even meeting the camera.
He looked like a daydreamer.
It made sense why this guy was on a discount. He didn't smile in one photo, and not even the teasing smirk I was used to with the others. His available photos were him standing awkwardly, arms crossed across his chest, as if he didn't know where to put them.
But, like Cam, this Boyfriend was flawless.
Not a hair out of place, and if it was, that was the style.
Each guy had a color scheme, and his color was chestnut.
His description caught my eye.
Perfect caramel coloured curls and eyes like melted chocolate. Roman is our favorite ‘Fall’ guy! An enemy to a lover in three (yes, three!) dates!
I had to agree. This guy embodied Fall itself, every outfit in deep oranges and browns that reminded me of crisp autumnal mornings. I think they were trying to sell college guy with him holding a book, and looking uncomfortable wearing a pair of glasses. His last photo was a full zoom in, capturing flawless skin and tawny eyes swirling with flecks of red.
Out of all of the guys I had scrolled through, this was the only guy who looked like he had personality.
Cam was cute, yes. But Cam reminded me of a mannequin. He was too perfect.
Roman’s perfection was human enough for him to feel real. Cam was a Ken doll wearing the exact same grin that people knew would sell. Roman was scowling, standing slightly tilted to the left, his hands in his pockets, and then squeezed into fists, before settling over his chest.
I could practically hear the impatient voice behind the camera.
Why are you scowling? Smile! Do you know how to smile?!”
“Eyes on the camera! Look awake! You're supposed to look appealing, why do you look half asleep?!”*
He made me wonder what the BTS behind Hire A Boyfriend was.
Cam was marketed as true love, while Roman was the guy next door who drives you insane, but is also kind of hot.
Were these guys strapped for cash and selling themselves out?
Was this all an act, or were they based on their real personalities?
Either way, I was sold.
Tapping hire, I chose our date to be in the city park at 3PM.
The app asked me if I had any special preferences, and I hesitated.
“Call me a donut.” I typed. If this thing was legit, this poor guy has a script.
I was nervous to meet him. After class in the afternoon, I headed to the park. It was raining, so already the date was going great. The receipt I received in my emails had the exact location, a green bench next to the water fountain.
I was five minutes early, already regretting my spontaneous, wine induced decision making.
Scrolling through my phone with clammy fingers, I was trying to cancel, when the bench wobbled next to me.
Roman.
Dressed in his usual autumnal wear, a levi’s jacket with jeans and a beanie, he looked exactly like his profile, already scowling at the ground, that exact same faraway look in his eyes.
My Boyfriend™️ was purposely distancing himself, sliding further away from me. After getting mildly offended, I remembered his standoff attitude and perma-scowl was his selling point.
The refusal to smile and inability to compliment me.
Enemy to a Lover.
He was acting.
“Hi.” His voice was a low mumble. Still refusing to look at me, he tipped his head back and blinked at the tree looming over us. “It's, um, Jane, right?”
“Yes.” I cleared my throat. “Hi.”
I watched his gaze wander, lingering on a butterfly. He folded his arms, pursing his lips. I had no idea what he was trying to say, before he let out a groan.
“I'm not calling you a fucking donut.”
Ooh, this guy was really getting into the role.
I liked it, playing along.
“It's fine,” I said with a laugh, “It was a stupid request.”
Roman met my eye, his lip curling. He wasn't laughing. “Yeah. It was.”
This guy was a pro.
I thought I'd made a mistake. Especially when my ‘boyfriend’ refused to walk by my side, stalking behind me instead.
He took me to a restaurant and bought me the cheapest option, indulging in the delicacy menu himself, and spent an hour ranting about birds not being real.
I started to realize why this guy was on discount. He was a fucking weirdo.
Still, though, everything about him was endearing.
The way his gaze wandered when I was speaking, like I could physically see his mind jetting off to Saturn.
Roman played with his hair a lot, twirling a single strand around his index. He ate his pasta like a psychopath, using a spoon instead of a fork, and spoke with his mouth full, spaghetti sauce running down his chin.
He (unintentionally) made me laugh out loud multiple times.
When we left the restaurant, Roman surprised me by slipping his hand in mine, entangling our fingers.
His gesture was unexpectedly warm.
When we parted ways, he had the slightest curve of a smile hinting that he was getting a little closer to me.
That’s how Hire a Boyfriend lured you in.
Their guys were like video game characters. I had to pay more to build them.
And that is what I did.
My friend was an artist, and invited me and my ‘boyfriend’ to her exhibition.
I hired Roman for the exhibition, but halfway through the date, he leaned his head on my shoulder, grasping tighter to my hand. He didn't get any less weirder, officially freaking out my friend with the birds aren't real theory. Eve was more amused than scared, immediately asking for his socials.
Roman said he didn't know what a social was, and she laughed harder.
“Your boyfriend is amazing,” Eve told me over drinks, “Isn't he like, literally perfect?”
Yes, he was.
But he wasn't mine.
I started hiring Roman every week, and the more I got to know him, I fell hard.
Every week turned to every day. I was obsessed with unlocking his true character and personality. Each time I hired him, Roman would get less standoffish, his barriers coming down.
He started to lean into me, squeezing my hand, kissing my shoulder.
Cash didn't matter to me, I was barely emotionally conscious when I was entering my card details. Just like the app said, Roman did get closer to me.
Fast forward four months, and I was sitting on a park bench with his head sandwiched in my shoulder, cherry blossoms blooming above us. It felt real.
He felt real.
I can't describe my feelings, because I don't even understand them.
He was the first man I remember truly falling in love with.
When he kissed me, I stopped seeing him as a Boyfriend™️.
Roman was like no other guy I’d ever met. Before him, I couldn't remember having a clear mind. After him, everything made sense. My friends loved him, and I had slowly deluded myself into believing he was real. His true personality was friendly, a little clumsy but in an endearing way, and he made me laugh. The park was our place, and I enjoyed dozing in the sun with his face pressed into my shoulder.
There was just one problem.
Roman was still a Boyfriend™️ which meant he was off limits. The plastic tag sticking out of his right temple assured that. If that wasn't enough, the app sent me hourly reminders, warning me to not get too close. I did understand, it was for the guy’s privacy and safety.
But it's not like Roman wasn't being affectionate himself.
The app said zero touching, including kissing, sexual intercourse. He kissed me multiple times, his head correctly leaning into mine. I still wasn't sure if he was part of his obligation as a Boyfriend, but it was clear this guy was slowly steering away from the rules.
I couldn't resist prodding the tag. “Does this not bother you?”
Roman shrugged, pulling his legs to his chest. “Not really. I like the smell of it.”
“Smell?”
Rowan held out a hand with a small smile, catching cherry blossom on his palm. “Yeah. Doesn't it smell good?”
He was talking about the cherry blossom.
Something about the way he immediately dismissed the tag put a sour taste in my mouth.
“No, the thing sticking out of your head,” I said with a nervous laugh.
Roman blinked, his lips breaking out into a smile. “I'm glad we both like it.”
Maybe he wasn't allowed to acknowledge the tag.
Ignoring my twisting gut, I focused on the sunset instead, blurred reds and oranges streaked across a twilight sky.
It was slowly starting to sink in that Roman was not mine.
“I love you,” he said in a low murmur.
Something warm dampened the sleeve of my shirt.
Was he crying?
For a moment, my words were tangled in my throat.
“I think I love you too.” I said, my cheeks heating up.
“Mm.” he sighed, and I was trying to ignore how wet my sleeve was getting. “I told you I would come back,” he snuggled into my shoulder, and that wetness was dripping down the bare skin of my arm. When he nestled his face in my neck, I smelled it, a tangy, metallic scent tickling the back of my nose.
Blood.
Twisting my head, my right sleeve was drenched with startling red.
My neck felt sticky, blood smearing my shoulder blade.
Roman was bleeding. I thought it was a nosebleed when I glimpsed his nose and lips and chin dripping red, but it was leaking from his ears too, rivulets of blood seeping from him, while the guy himself didn't move, still smiling, his head leaning on my shoulder. When my body remembered how to move, I jerked away with a shriek, but Roman stayed in the same position, his head tilted.
“I came back for you,” a wide smile spread across his lips, blood dribbling down his chin. “And our baby.”
I didn't respond, pulling out my phone to call an ambulance.
“Are you happy I came back?” he whispered. I was transfixed by the blood running down his face. His head jolted suddenly, his smile dampening, before curving into a frown. The man's eyes were suddenly so sad, wandering, like he was searching for something.
Someone.
“I changed my m-mind,” Roman’s head jerked again, drool slipping down his chin. “I w-want to be a dad, Sara.”
Roman’s words jolted something inside me, a shiver slipping down my spine.
I dropped my phone, using my sleeves to stop the bleeding. Grabbing his face, I forced him to look at me. “Hey. Look at me.” The bleeding was letting up a little. But it was his eyes that held me in a trance. I fell in love with beautiful, almost unnatural brown. What I was seeing was green, a smear of lime slowly seeping into that tawny oblivion.
“Roman.” I said, louder. “Who is Sara?”
His expression crumpled, like he was crying, a whole new personality taking over.
But he wasn't looking at me.
Roman was looking right through me.
“I love you,” his voice broke, “But I also love him. I'm not ready for a baby! I'm twenty three! What twenty three year old wants to settle down with a little brat?” His eyes widened, expression softening. “I didn't…I didn't mean that.”
I was talking to a memory.
“I love both of you. And I want to… I want to make a family with both of you,” he shook his head. “But not now, Sara.”
Sara.
There was that name again.
“Sara.” I said. “Can you tell me who that is?”
The man's gaze snapped to me. “Sara,” he whispered. “She's my girl…” his head jerked again, this time violently.
“Girl… friend?”
Roman frowned. “She's my girlfriend,” he mumbled. “I was going to go… back. But I… I couldn't… find her…”
His hands dropped limply to his sides.
“I looked for her. But they… grabbed me.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “They took me… away.”
When his whole body shuddered, eyes rolling back, I couldn't help myself, reaching forward with trembling hands and plucking the piece of plastic from his temple. It was like pulling a tag out of a toy. But it kept going, a long plastic thing feeding directly into his head.
It was like pulling a tag out of a toy.
This thing was a long coil of wire stained red, a metallic plate attached to the end.
Biting back a shriek, I dropped the tag, my fingers slick crimson.
This thing was embedded, fed, directly into this guy’s head.
Like a switch had been pulled, Roman’s arms fell to his sides. “Sara.” he said through a mouthful of red. “She's my… she's m-my…” he trailed off and blinked slowly. His gaze found my hand, where I was gingerly stroking his temple. Roman jumped up suddenly, his eyes frenzied, awake, like a startled animal. “What the fuck?” he shuffled away like I was contagious, diving to unsteady feet.
So, this was Roman.
“Who are you?” he swiped at his bloody chin. “Where's Sara?”
When I couldn't reply, his fingers gingerly stroked at his right temple.
“Fuck.” Roman let out a sharp breath. “You actually got that thing out.”
I was shaking, still holding it between my fingers.
This thing was warm, thrumming, like it was alive.
“And what is it?” I managed to get out. “That thing was inside your head!”
Roman curled his lip, his gaze wandering the park.
“Where's the exit?”
“What?!”
He grabbed me, harshly this time, pulling me to my feet. I was still trying to mentally register the tag feeding into his brain. This guy was not the man I hired, violently pulling me to his side when I could barely stand. His eyes were fierce, hollow, a whole other person taking over him. He was the shadow that had been pushed down, a suppressed memory who was awake.
And pissed.
“We need to get out of here right fucking now,” he said in a hiss. His fingernails stabbing into my skin hurt, but the pain was enough to snap me into fruition.
“That app.” I said. “What is it?”
Roman’s eyes darkened. “It's a factory,” he tightened his grip around my wrist.
“Can you help me find my girlfriend? I'll tell you everything, but we need–”
“Miss Doe, am I correct?”
The sudden voice caught me off guard.
Roman looked confused, his gaze flicking behind me.
Fuck. His lips formed the word and he stumbled back, his hand slipping from mine. Behind us, an outline of a woman slowly bled into the shadows.
“You.” Roman’s lips parted in a silent cry. He shook his head, clawing at his hair. The guy let out a spluttered sob, a thin line of blood escaping his nose.
“You're the bitch who did this to me.”
The outline inclined her head. “I know you have the memory of a goldfish, dear boy, but if I remember correctly, you were recommended to us. I even have your consent if you require proof.”
His eyes were wide. Terrified.
“You make us sign it! We don't have a fucking choice!”
“That's a rule break. Boyfriend's do not swear, unless it part of a joke and has been given full content by our clients.”
The woman appeared, no longer a disembodied voice, basking in the shadow of the setting sun, rich red hair and matching heels. She was my age or a little older. Sculpted in a black suit, this woman was oozing sophistication.
She turned to me with a bright smile.
“Hello Jane! My name is Lily. I'm a customer adviser at Hire a Boyfriend. I am so sorry for the malfunction!”
Tilting her head, Lily’s lips formed a frown.
“As we explained in our terms and conditions, the Boyfriend™️ does not usually act like this unless considered faulty. However, it is expected from a discounted model like Roman. He is scheduled to be refurbished in a week, so we'll happily take him off your hands.”
“No.” Roman whimpered. His gaze flashed to me. “Please… help me.”
His head jolted once again, and he dropped to his knees.
“That is also a rule break,” Lily said. “You never directly tell clients what to do.”
Roman’s body shook, his head jerking left to right.
“Get away from me.”
“You are broken, Roman. Allow me to fix you.”
His eyes filled with tears. “Broken?”
“That's right. Broken.”
“Sara.” Roman swiped blood from his nose. “Is she okay? Is she… s-safe?”
The woman regarded him with a pitiful smile.
“I'm sorry, who?”
Roman blinked. “Sara.” his expression crumpled. “She's my…she's m-m-my–”
Lily stepped towards him, and he shrunk back.
The sound of her heels frightened him, like he was used to them.
Used to her looming over him, a satisfied smile on her face.
“She's your what? Come on, speak up!”
He let out a raw cry, clawing at his hair.
“I don't know! I d-don't know! I…”
“Come quietly, and I will rethink my decision to convert Sara’s child when once of age,” Lily said. “The contract was clear. Section five, clause three. Hire a Boyfriend are automatically entitled to a Boyfriend’s offspring.”
Roman broke down, his head dropping into his lap.
“I'll go w-with you.” somehow, his eyes were glitching, unnatural blue light igniting around his iris. “I'll g-g-go.”
More blood, this time running thick down his face.
Lily’s lips split into a grin. “I'm sorry Roman, who is Sara again?”
He scrunched up his face, fighting to keep his mind. “I… d-d-don't know.”
I hated myself for turning away, after listening to him sobbing, begging for his unborn child to be safe, his mind torn from him right in front of me. I felt sick to my stomach. Lily was revelling in every second. Was this the reality of Hire a Boyfriend? What about Cam?
Who was behind his original face?
I should have done something. I stepped forward to grasp him and pull him back. When my hands were on his shoulders, the light fizzled from Roman’s eyes, sparks flickering out.
Like a puppet, he flopped to the ground.
In a panic, I tried to pull him to his feet, before I was violently shoved back.
The redhead nodded to me. “I apologise again for the malfunction, Jane,” she told me, scooping him into her arms.
He looked so vulnerable, a fully grown man somehow reduced to a living toy.
Lily bid me goodbye, promising me discount on my next Boyfriend™️.
I thought about that day a lot. I went to the cops with a report, only for them to tell me Hire a Boyfriend did not exist.
Apparently, I had been watching too many movies.
Two months passed by, and Roman never left my mind.
In an attempt to forget about him and delude myself into believing I was suffering a psychotic break, I lost myself in podcasts. Anything I could find, I listened to endless hours, blocking out thoughts drowning me.
Yesterday, I was making my way back home from class when I walked into a dishevelled looking girl with an armful of missing posters. I already knew who she was, and who was on the poster.
I was trying to avoid her, but this girl was following me. I could sense her steps getting closer, her breath on the back of my neck. Grief enveloped her in a sickly green aura, pale cheeks and straw-like hair stuck under her hooded sweatshirt. This time, the girl situated herself in front of me, red rimmed eyes begging me to stop walking.
I did, coming to an abrupt stop, my gaze immediately flicking to a very familiar face on the missing poster.
Unlike Roman, my Boyfriend™️, this man did have flaws.
Crooked teeth flashing a grin and an oddly shaped nose. He was stockier and had the worst fashion sense imaginable, clad in socks and sandles. This time, though, the boy had a different name.
Jun.
The photo was always different, what I guessed was a collection from her Instagram. This one was particularly heart wrenching. Roman’s eyes were bright and happy, no sign of that hollow cavern I found myself lost inside. The two of them were standing in front of a mirror, his arms wrapped around her.
Whatever happened to him after he was taken had stripped Jun away.
The girl shoved the poster in my face.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
JUN LOCKE.
24.
LAST SEEN WEARING A PLAID SHIRT AND JEANS, OUTSIDE CAMPUS.
I didn't look at the face that had been perfected and moulded into the ideal boyfriend.
Into Roman.
I stared at the girl’s bulging pregnant belly instead.
Sara was getting bigger.
“Please,” She whispered, her voice a hoarse cry, one hand cradling her stomach. “Have you seen my boyfriend?”
It was always a no.
Swallowing hard, I shook my head.
Sara didn't even acknowledge my answer. She turned and walked away.
“Wait.” her name tangled in my mouth.
I felt like I was floating, my body moving for me. Stumbling after Sara, I lightly touched her arm and she twisted around, her eyes igniting with hope.
Opening my mouth, I choked on my words.
I have seen your boyfriend.
“Jane Doe! Oh my God, I haven't seen you in… years, is it? How are you doing?”
Sara’s half lidded eyes flicked to a familiar face behind me.
Lily.
This time, the woman strutted in a stylish red dress.
Her smile was too wide, too many teeth.
“Jane, can we talk?” she asked, “Woman to woman.”
Lily nodded at Sara’s belly. “Congratulations!” she winked. “I hope it's a boy!”
I had no choice, letting her pull me away from Sara.
Lily’s grasp on my arm was polite. She dragged me off campus. I thought she was going to throw me into a truck, before the redhead came to a stop.
I tried to pull away, but her grip tightened.
“It is quite painful, you know,” she said casually.
When I frowned at her, the woman prodded at her own temple. “The Neurowire is fed directly into the brain to ensure complete compliance with our Boyfriend's.” her gaze was across the road, and when I followed her eye, my heart almost jumped out of my throat.
Roman.
They had cut his hair. He was a sandy blonde now.
His colour scheme was deep blue, sporting a short sleeved shirt and jeans.
He was laughing, hand in hand with another girl.
“I'm only going to say this once, Jane, because you are a little too curious.”
I watched Roman reach for the girl’s hand. They must have changed his personality. Now he was smiling and playful, the two of them laughing. But there was a shy side to him, his cheeks blossoming red, fingers slipping through her fingers and entangling them.
“There are certain men in our society who are born to be Boyfriend's and Husbands.” Lily spoke up, and I realized she didn't just work for them.
She was Hire a Boyfriend.
“At Hire a Boyfriend, we believe everyone should have a significant other they can be with. Even if it's for an hour or two every day.” she turned to Roman, who was wrapping his arms around the girl, laughing into her hair.
The two of them seemed too close. I had a feeling this wasn't their first date.
Lily followed my gaze, her eyes narrowing. “Do you really think a man like that belongs with someone like Sara? No, sweetie. As you can see, Roman is currently being hired by Lula, our richest client, a socialite who is considering buying him as a full time Husband! Now, she is perfect for him.”
The redhead turned to me, lightly brushing my hair out of my face, the tips of her fingers tiptoeing across my temple. She had a smile I couldn't make sense of. “I have missed you, Jane. If only dear Ben didn't get his own way.”
She tried to touch me again, and I smacked her hand away.
I caught a hint of hurt in her eyes, before she sighed, grasping my chin with manicured nails and forcing me to look directly at her. “Sara is a woman who's boyfriend left her. She does not need any more stress for our baby.”
Dropping her hand, Lily’s tone hardened. “If you do not walk away and forget us, I will happily contract dear Sara into the Hire a Girlfriend program. And trust me, you of all people should know that it will be a very uncomfortable time for her. Would you like to know the conversion process? Well, allow me to explain–”
“Stop.”
My legs were close to giving way.
“I won't say anything.”
The bitch enjoyed my silence, my panicking thoughts trying to understand what she was saying. “Or we could make her a wife! There are a lot of lonely men looking for the perfect wife! Look at her. A young woman in her early twenties. Perfectly healthy and beautiful. And she's pregnant, so that's a bonus! Sara Mcintire is textbook girl next door. Exactly what we look for.”
Shaking my head, I was trembling, sweat trickling down my neck.
Lily's nails dug into my skin. “Am I clear, Jane? Or do you want me to say it again?” her lips grazed my ear, a shiver skittering down my spine, bugs filling my mouth. “Pain is beauty, after all, and we aim to create perfect Boyfriend's. I'll leave the process to your imagination.”
Stepping back, I nodded, swallowing a bout of vomit.
“Good.” she pivoted on her heel. “Keep walking and you will never see me again. Neither will pretty little Sara.”
Her voice followed me home.
“By the way, it was nice to see you again! Say hello to your boyfriend for me, all right?”
I don't have a boyfriend.
When I returned home, I felt like I was stepping inside a different apartment.
Everything seemed just like how I left it but the house was too… clean.
Too empty.
Standing in front of my bedroom mirror, I pulled out my ponytail, my fingers lightly prodding at my temple.
What did she call me again?
Jane Doe.
Maybe I was seeing things, but I'm terrified.
There it was.
How had I never seen it before?
With shaky fingers, I prodded the tiny plastic tag sticking out of me.
When I pulled it out of Roman, he knew who he was.
Who Sara was, and his unborn child.
Am/was I like Roman?
Am I a Hire a Girlfriend?
And if I pull this thing out, who was I before?
Edit: I've found hundreds of blood stained and fresh tags in my bedroom drawer. Who is changing them?
I live alone, but why does my apartment feel so empty?
Please help me. I think I'm going crazy.

Sore throat, stuffy & runny nose, constant headaches & fatigue - what is going on? 😭

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 2,200,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
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...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
In the immediate aftermath of his empowerment, Henry basks in the glow of adoration from his fellow Parahumans. A deep sense of satisfaction wells up in his chest after slaughtering the five Changelings who dared to infiltrate their solemn ceremony, and he looks at the Second Wordsmith with gratitude and profound respect. Without Hope Hiro, he would still be a mere civilian, doomed to live a life of mediocrity. All of that has changed now.
As for Hope, he pats Henry's blood-covered shoulder and smiles. "Well done, Henry. Anyone here could have killed those Changelings, but you were the first to react. Maybe you even managed to prevent them from leaking what happened here, too. I sure hope you did."
Henry grins. "Just doing my duty for the good of humanity, Commander."
Several soldiers nearby whoop and cheer as they slap Henry's back and congratulate him. But while they give the young man the credit he deserves, Hope has a few other people gather the bodies of the Changelings and lie them down, side to side. Despite the gruesome sights of their mangled corpses, Hope doesn't even blink. He's long become desensitized to such violent imagery.
"Scan. Examine." Hope says, sending Words of Power out to probe the corpses. "Hmm."
Henry pulls away from the crowd to walk over and crouch down beside his Commander. "Notice something, sir?"
"I haven't." Hope says. "That's the problem. Every inch of these people looks identical to the average human. You're... sure they were Volgrim Changelings, right? Like, you're one hundred percent sure? Because everything I'm seeing here indicates they're ordinary humans."
Henry nods seriously. "Without a doubt. When Jepthath connected to my mind, I could read the thoughts and sense the emotions of everyone around me. But not these five. Their minds were... void. When I probed deeper, I came into contact with words and thoughts that didn't feel human. It was like if I tried to describe to you how a slug experiences the world around it. Completely alien."
"So you could only tell because of Jepthath's power." Hope muses. "That poses a problem. I can't verify these are aliens at all. If they really are Changelings, their disguises are incredible. The blood is slightly discolored, so that might be worth looking into, but otherwise even their genetic makeup is identical to that of any human."
"I think you should examine their souls, sir." Henry suggests. "Or their brains. I'm telling you, they didn't think in the same way I did at all. It was almost frightening how weird their thought patterns were. I can't really put the experience into words."
Another man nearby nods. "I felt the same thing too, Commander. Lord Henry isn't lying."
"I know he isn't." Hope says with a smile, before raising an eyebrow. "Wait, 'Lord' Henry?"
"That is what the Sovereign has decreed all of us should call him by." The man says. "He is Jepthath's Champion. He possesses the same strength and power the Sovereign did when he walked the Earth. It's only fair to call him our Lord."
Hope looks at Henry. The young man doesn't physically appear any different from before. Compared to the roided-up Parahumans who also ascended, Henry appears the same as before, almost as if he didn't power up in the slightest.
"I want some of you to deliver these corpses to Neil in secret." Hope says to a nearby soldier. "I'll let him know you're coming ahead of time. Don't tell anyone these are Changelings. Just say they were training casualties."
"Yes sir!" The soldier says, before gathering a few other people to cover the bodies and drag them away.
As the crowd disperses to discuss the day's events, Hope slaps Henry's back. "Come with me."
He and Henry stand up, then they exit the church and head deep into the woods. After walking for a couple of kilometers, Hope cracks his neck, then turns to face Henry.
"We'll spar here."
Henry blinks. "Sir?"
"My body is augmented." Hope says mildly. "Due to an accident six years ago, billions of nanites ended up embedded under my skin. Over time, they're merged with my biological makeup and enhanced me in lots of different ways. My bones are durable, my mind is quicker, even my blood pumps a little faster."
Hope assumes a guarding stance. He raises both of his fists and looks at Henry seriously. "We'll start off light, but as long as neither of us ends up dead because of a single sudden hit, I should be able to heal any damage we take."
Henry nods. He takes a deep breath, then assumes his own combat stance, dancing between his heels and toes as he starts moving from side to side.
"I've gotta warn you, Commander." Henry says. "I haven't tested my strength yet, but the Sovereign says I'm as strong as he was when he was alive. I also have access to all of his knowledge on fighting, as well as the knowledge of everyone he's ever connected with, and the 10,000 who joined his consciousness today."
"That's why I said we'll start light." Hope says with a smile. "I'm no novice, but when it comes to combat? I doubt I'm Jepthath's match. HUH!"
He suddenly lunges toward Henry and sends a jab at his opponent's right shoulder. Henry lightly pivots from the flat of his foot to his heel, turning slightly to avoid the attack.
THWAP!
Hope sees stars as the side of Henry's fist bashes against his left ear, sending him sprawling to the dirt. Hope blinks his eyes, needing a few seconds to register just what in the hell happened.
"Commander!" Henry exclaims. "Are you okay?!"
He quickly leans down to pick Hope up, and the Wordsmith clumsily climbs to his feet, visibly dazed.
"...huh? Huh?? You... hit me?" Hope asks, incredulous. "I didn't... even... see you move."
"I tried to restrain my strength." Henry says, blushing in embarrassment. "I thought that backfist would only knock you to the side a little bit."
Hope rubs the side of his head. He opens and closes his jaw while a ringing sound squeals in his ear. "Normalize. Heal. It's no problem, Henry. That's the whole point of this exercise, to see how strong you are. Clearly, I was way off the mark in my estimations. I'm going to need to take this a lot more seriously."
Hope once again assumes his guarded-stance. "Empower. Strength. Defense. Swiftness. Agility. Reaction. Prediction..."
He strings along several dozen Words of Power, all of them being spells that he has confirmed will help him during hand-to-hand combat fights thanks to his six years of practice, as well as his training inside the Hall of Heroes.
Finally, he finishes off with one last word. "Invincibility. There, that should make my body basically a slab of tungsten."
"You're all done, sir?" Henry asks, his eyes sparkling innocently. "I'll make sure not to hit you in the head again."
"I'm far stronger than before." Hope warns him. "Don't hold back on my account. Though, do try to avoid my jaw. I can't Wordsmith if I can't speak."
"Noted, sir." Henry says back, as he once again resumes his dance-like steps of combat footwork.
The two men start trading blows once more. This time, Hope manages to match his opponent in the physicality department. When Henry sends a crushing blow toward Hope's chest, the Wordsmith takes the hit, staggers back, then leaps forward to spike a jab at Henry's throat. Henry slaps his fist aside, than ducks low and tries sweeping Hope's feet. The Wordsmith lightly hops, evades the sweep, and plants his feet firmly on the ground before punching down at Henry's lowered head.
Over and over, the two men attack and defend, the sounds of their fists, arms, feet, and legs making contact as they disturb the nearby woodland creatures.
For twenty long minutes, they fight. Eventually, Hope pulls back, sweat covering his whole body. Comparatively, Henry appears somewhat relaxed, as if the sparring session was barely even a warmup.
"I'm not your equal." Hope says mildly. "Strength-wise, I can barely match up to you. But when it comes to technique? I feel like a toddler fighting a martial arts master. I can barely even land any hits, but you're constantly knocking me around like I'm in a goddamn pinball machine."
Henry blushes again. "Sorry, Commander. I held back as best as I could to match your strength level."
"Wait, you're still holding back??" Hope asks, bewildered.
"Well, yes, sir." Henry says, scratching his nose sheepishly. "You said this was only a sparring match. If I were to go all-out I'd probably have easily..."
He trails off, causing the implication to linger in the air.
Hope blinks his eyes, feeling as if a bomb has exploded in his mind. "Henry! Be honest with me. How much have you been holding back?"
"Well. I don't have any exact numbers or whatever." Henry says, looking away. "I mean, I probably used less than half my strength? Can you perhaps boost yourself more? Then I can get a more accurate estimate..."
Visibly dismayed, Hope hangs his head and looks at the ground in disbelief.
"...So this is what Solomon meant when he said Specialists are better than Generalists in their specific field. Sorry, Henry, but if I strengthen my body any more, I'll probably explode. This is all I can manage for now. Let's call it good for today."
"Oh. Alright then!" Henry says, cheering up a bit. "It was a lot of fun anyway, Commander! I feel so powerful now, like I could rip a tank apart with my bare hands! If I have any one complaint, it would just be..."
He pauses, then looks away.
"Well. I'm not usually one for using my fists. I was a sniper when I worked under Neil. I'd rather be using a gun if I'm being honest, but now it feels like I'd be wasting my strength if I did that instead of using my whole body."
"Yeah. Maybe..." Hope says uncertainly. "Or perhaps we need to get you a new weapon and set of armor that better matches what your body can accomplish now, to say nothing of your new status. I'll talk to Hans Wagner and see what he thinks."
With their sparring session complete, both men teleport back to Maiuran High Command, now located in the city of Adamsburg, a fortress built atop the planet's tallest mountain. Despite its immense height and seemingly awkward geographical positioning, because of the efforts of several Fairy Princesses, there exist teleportation matrices at the bottom that can send any number of civilians and troops upward and downward as needed.
This city atop a peak, named Mount Adams after the commander himself, stands as a testament to what humanity can accomplish even with surprisingly limited resources. In fact, Hope Hiro had almost nothing to do with its construction. It was built a few years earlier at the command of Neil himself, who wished to have a secure fallback location in the event of a total collapse of humanity's ranks. While it would normally be quite secure, its carrying capacity was unfortunately too limited to hold all the humans in existence during the Stormbringer assault.
Now though, with humanity's population having been decreased by a significant margin, Adamsburg provides a safe and secure shelter for the humans to start from, allowing them to begin working their way outward to conquer more of Maiura's fertile territory.
As Hope and Henry teleport into the city built atop the mountain, Henry looks around in wonder. "Wow! I should have come here sooner."
Hundreds of residences made of rock and stone dot the city's interior. Thirty-foot walls shield the city from external attacks, which would also have to aim those attacks upward to even reach the city's underside.
In many ways, it resembles a medieval city, but with electricity powering it courtesy of Hope's few material contributions. Thanks to his Wordsmithing, he was able to add a miniaturized fusion reactor to the city's electrical grid, allowing it to self-sustain its residents as needed for the next several hundred years.
When the two men arrive inside Adamsburg, Hope starts walking toward the city center, where Neil's personal office sits comfortably within a few minutes of walking distance in any direction. But hardly has Hope taken ten steps before a series of invisible question marks pop up over his head. He turns around to see Henry standing in place, clearly content to stay behind.
"What are you doing?" Hope asks. "Come on! Let's go see Neil!"
"Huh? Me?" Henry asks, his face paling. "You want... me... to see the Commander? I- I don't know, Hope. That doesn't seem- I don't think that would be a good idea. I know he hates me for what I did. I can't look him in the eye anymore."
Hope realizes the reason for Henry's lollygagging. He chuckles under his breath. "You don't need to worry about that. Neil's not the sort of guy to hold a grudge. Even if he is, all you have to do is sit through one tongue-lashing and admit you screwed up, and he'll forgive you."
"Are... are you sure?" Henry asks, wincing. "I don't know."
"I've known Neil for six years. We're extremely close, almost like father and son." Hope says. "Now come on! If you're going to call yourself 'Jepthath's Envoy' then you're gonna need to grow a goddamn spine, man."
"I have a spine!" Henry protests. "But... it's easier killing demons than facing Commander Adams again. I hate that I nearly got him killed, all because of that demon bitch."
"Good. Be sure and tell him that." Hope concludes.
The two men resume walking. They pass by hundreds of civilians in the bustling city, many of whom have only migrated within the past few days. In fact, more than eighty percent of Maiura's human population have come from Tarus II after the Great Debate, which has caused a certain amount of friction among those who settled here for a longer time before.
"Goddammit!" One man yells as he stands in a line outside a popular restaurant. "Ever since you Tarus yokels came along, this place has been packed every day! I used to be able to walk in and sit down. Why do I need a reservation just because you yahoos moved here, huh??"
"Quiet down!" A man ahead of him yells back. "We're all waiting. Fair is fair!"
Hope observes the interaction as he passes, then swiftly forgets about it a few moments later. Squabbles of this level aren't of any interest to him, and will instead be dealt with by the city enforcers if things turn violent.
He and Henry eventually arrive at a sizable building that resembles a library, with architectural flourishes that give it a classical look, yet without skimping on the security. Numerous troopers patrol outside, while a half-dozen sit and stand atop the slanted roof, keeping an eye out for airborne threats. When Neil is on base, everyone always remains on high alert, just in case.
Both men walk inside, and Hope nods at a blonde woman with glasses. "Debra. Is Neil busy right now?"
"Only if it's not you asking." Debra says with a smile. Then her eyes meet Henry's and that smile disappears. "You brought him here?"
"I have a good reason." Hope says, ignoring the protest in her eyes as he walks Henry over to Neil's office door. He knocks twice, then lowers the handle to push the door open.
Neil looks up, momentarily surprised someone would just walk right in, but only until he realizes it's Hope. "How did the ceremony go?" He asks.
Hope doesn't say anything. He steps into the room, then gestures behind himself at Henry, who slowly walks inside, reflexively lowering his head out of shame.
"C-commander." Henry mumbles, wringing his hands together.
"So it's you." Neil says. He looks at Hope with narrowed eyes. "You brought him here because...?"
Instead of answering, Hope tilts his head up. "Privacy. Barrier. Solidify. Opaque. Scan..."
He erects a privacy field around the room, taking care to triple-check and ensure no Psions are inside the bubble where they can listen in. After satisfying his desire for privacy, he smiles politely at Neil.
"I'd like to introduce you to the strongest member of the Parahuman Corps, Neil. Henry Cliff has obtained a perfect compatibility rating with Jepthath's power. He is as strong as the ancient Hero-King was when he walked the Earth, and has thus been named Jepthath's Champion. You can also call him Lord Henry, or the Illuminator's Envoy, if you prefer."
Neil listens to Hope's introduction. He looks Henry up and down, but to his layman eyes, the young man still appears only as strong as any average soldier. Certainly not as impressive as Hope seems to think.
"I- uh, Commander." Henry says, stuttering and mashing his words together. "Don't- don't let my, uh, appearance fool you. Ahaha... I'm pretty strong."
"He beat my ass during our sparring session." Hope says plainly. "And I was going at him with everything I had. Henry here didn't even break a sweat."
For several long seconds, the room falls into an awkward silence.
Neil simply stares at Henry, and the young man becomes visibly more uncomfortable by the second. Finally, he breaks composure and steps toward Neil while holding his palms out.
"Commander! I... I am so sorry. I am filled with shame at my actions during Stormbringer. I betrayed you! I betrayed humanity. Ose may have assumed the form of a beautiful human woman, but I didn't follow protocol and report her to the higher-ups! Because of me, you ended up captured by the demons and suffered terrible torture! I don't know how I can redeem myself, but I'll do anything- ANYTHING, if it satisfies you."
Neil continues to remain silent for a few seconds longer.
"...Will you kill yourself if I ask you to do so?"
Henry flinches at the question. He starts to open his mouth, but then he pauses for a moment before lowering his head.
"I'm sorry, Commander. That's the one thing I cannot do for you."
"Oh? And why is that?" Neil asks, unfazed.
"Because, sir. I'm not some ordinary civilian anymore. I answer to a higher power. I have a Calling now, and a strength that I cannot throw away uselessly. I need to use Jepthath's strength to save as many human lives as possible! But if, in the future, my power becomes irrelevant, I would be willing to follow your... request."
Neil again stays quiet. He looks Henry up and down a few times, clearly thinking to himself about something unknown.
Finally, he stands up from his chair and folds his hands behind his back.
"That was an excellent response. It seems the time spent in that prison cell gave you a chance to think about what sort of person you were becoming, and what sort of person you'd want to be."
He continues. "I'll be honest, boy. I never blamed you for what you did. Demons are wiley. Crafty. You are young and stupid. You thought with your lower head instead of the brain the Creator gave you. Even so, I know if Ose hadn't pretended to be a human, you'd never have done as she asked. You'd have turned against her the moment you realized she was a demon."
The Commander inhales sharply. "Every man makes mistakes. But it is not these errors which define us. Rather, it is the lessons we learn from them that shape our potential and turn boys into men. I see now that you have grown a little wiser and will not be fooled so easily in the future."
Henry nods heavily. "I cannot claim I'll never make another mistake, Commander. But I promise to do my best not to fall for any bloodskin's forked tongue again."
Neil chuckles. "You know, when I was younger- before Bahamut took me, that is, I fought under a Hero named Napoleon."
He continues. "In Napoleon's army, there were plenty of fellows who screwed up basic orders, failed to follow simple commands, but Napoleon often forgave them even when it seemed nonsensical. Why, on one occasion, some fool lit a cigar near a barrel of gunpowder and damn near killed three people nearby, not to mention himself. When Napoleon only let the man off with a stern rebuke... I was so confused at the time. I questioned him about the matter in private, and do you know what he told me?"
Hope and Henry both listen intently as Neil pauses to let their minds run wild.
"He told me, 'Neil, what would you have me do? Kill the bastard? Better to let him live. For the price of one barrel of gunpowder, we taught that man a valuable lesson. You can bet going forward he'll be far more prudent about his actions!' And I must say, Napoleon was right. That person ended up becoming a lieutenant toward the end of the war, decorated for his valor, and well known for his sometimes-excessive level of caution."
Neil shrugs. "Compared to the price you paid, which actually ended up being nothing at all, I'd say the lesson you learned was equally valuable. I'm fine in the end. Alive and fully intact in body, mind, and soul. Contrary to what you might believe, no demons tortured me, though they did deny me a bit of food in a pathetic, half-assed attempt to weaken my morale. It's too bad they underestimated the indomitable will of the human spirit."
Henry nods, fully comprehending Neil's words. "I understand, Commander. Your wisdom is truly sublime."
"I'm glad to have you back, Henry." Neil says with a smile. "You were my best sniper. I'll be watching your military career with great interest in the future. Don't disappoint me."
Henry slaps his chest. "I promise I won't, sir!"
After the two men exchange a few more pleasantries, Neil has Hope teleport Henry outside of the privacy barrier, leaving the Wordsmith and Commander Adams alone.
In an instant, Neil's smile vanishes. In its face, an icy-cold gaze fixates on Hope.
"That Jepthath is really something." Neil says frostily. "I'll bet you didn't even notice what just happened."
Hope blinks twice. "Huh? What- what do you mean? Are you telling me you only pretended to accept Henry's apology?"
"Henry didn't apologize. Jepthath did." Neil explains slowly, waiting for Hope to catch on. "Come on, boy. You're smarter than this. Don't tell me you didn't notice the abrupt change in Henry's demeanor. I'm not a close friend of his, but we've spoken on several occasions. He's never been this decisive before."
"I... I don't know." Hope says, frowning at Neil. "I think Henry really wanted to get that apology off his chest, Neil. Why are you saying it was Jepthath talking? I mean, I know Jepthath could have used the Dominion Rod's connection to seize control of Henry, but that seems unlikely, don't you think??"
Neil shrugs again. "Maybe you're right. Maybe Jepthath didn't take direct control. But that whole shpiel about a 'higher calling'? Give me a break. Don't you know who Henry is? He's an illiterate human we rescued from one of the savage worlds. He's adapted to modern human society somewhat, true, but since when has he ever been so well-spoken? No, I can state with absolute confidence that Jepthath had a hand in that boy's emotional transformation. It's up to you whether you believe me or not."
Hope's frown deepens. He glances behind himself, as if trying to see the doorway hidden by his Privacy Field. He turns back to Neil, unwilling to concede this point.
"Let's agree to disagree, Neil. Henry's a good guy. He screwed up once, yeah, but you didn't have to lie to him to make him feel better."
"I spoke no lies. I meant every word I said." Neil counters calmly. "Whether or not Jepthath took over for a while, Henry has learned a lesson and it may just turn him into a true man. But we won't know for the foreseeable future, so let's move on to other things."
He meets Hope's gaze. "Have you spoken to Diablo yet?"
"No. I was waiting to see how the Illumination Ceremony played out." Hope explains. "Now I know, and we've gained a lot of bargaining chips. If you really want me to lead troopers into battle alongside the demons, then I'll do it."
"It has to be you." Neil says. "My reputation won't allow me to take Diablo's deal, but you can play the moderate in this situation."
Hope snorts. "Heh. Sometimes you make me think you're a real funny guy, Neil. I'll go find and talk to Diablo after this, don't you worry. Maybe within the next week we can start fighting alongside him."
"That would be for the best." Neil concludes. "Anything else?"
"Yeah. One last thing." Hope says, his tone of voice changing to something resembling a bubbling anger. "There were five Changelings that tried to attend the ceremony. Jepthath sniffed them out when he tried connecting to their minds, and Henry killed them. Our troops should be bringing the bodies soon."
"Changelings." Neil says, tightening his eyebrows. "You're positive it was them? To date, we haven't had any luck detecting them."
"Jepthath's power seems to be the key." Hope explains. "Now that we have five bodies to examine, we'll need to do so in absolute secrecy. I fear the Volgrim already know about the deaths of their spies, but it's possible they might not. In any case, with five bodies to examine, we might find a biological marker or some sort of DNA sequence we can use to identify other Changelings in the future."
A few seconds pass. Neil looks at Hope questioningly.
"You're telling me the differences aren't obvious? Did you even examine their corpses?"
"Of course." Hope says. "That's the first thing I did! But no dice. I'm telling you Neil, if the Parahumans weren't swearing up and down these five were Changelings, I'd have no idea! Their internal organs, their brains, every piece of them came up human even when I looked at them with my Wordsmithing. It's fucking uncanny is what it is. And creepy."
Neil's expression turns ugly. "All along I assumed they were only deceiving us with their outward appearance. If their entire body can blend in with any populace, then we're in real trouble, Hope. We have five bodies to cut open but even those might not help us identify other Volgrim spies!"
"Yeah. You're telling me." Hope mutters.
The two of them chatter a while longer, then Hope turns to leave.
"I'll be visiting Diablo next." Hope says. "Until next time, Neil."
"Until next time." Neil says, as Hope dissipates the Privacy Field.
The Wordsmith teleports away, leaving Neil to plunk back in his chair and rest his elbows on his desk.
Humanity's Military Commander stares vacantly ahead for a long while, thinking about various things.
Jepthath, you are a sneaky one.

In the immediate aftermath of his empowerment, Henry basks in the glow of adoration from his fellow Parahumans. A deep sense of satisfaction wells up in his chest after slaughtering the five Changelings who dared to infiltrate their solemn ceremony, and he looks at the Second Wordsmith with gratitude and profound respect. Without Hope Hiro, he would still be a mere civilian, doomed to live a life of mediocrity. All of that has changed now.
As for Hope, he pats Henry's blood-covered shoulder and smiles. "Well done, Henry. Anyone here could have killed those Changelings, but you were the first to react. Maybe you even managed to prevent them from leaking what happened here, too. I sure hope you did."
Henry grins. "Just doing my duty for the good of humanity, Commander."
Several soldiers nearby whoop and cheer as they slap Henry's back and congratulate him. But while they give the young man the credit he deserves, Hope has a few other people gather the bodies of the Changelings and lie them down, side to side. Despite the gruesome sights of their mangled corpses, Hope doesn't even blink. He's long become desensitized to such violent imagery.
"Scan. Examine." Hope says, sending Words of Power out to probe the corpses. "Hmm."
Henry pulls away from the crowd to walk over and crouch down beside his Commander. "Notice something, sir?"
"I haven't." Hope says. "That's the problem. Every inch of these people looks identical to the average human. You're... sure they were Volgrim Changelings, right? Like, you're one hundred percent sure? Because everything I'm seeing here indicates they're ordinary humans."
Henry nods seriously. "Without a doubt. When Jepthath connected to my mind, I could read the thoughts and sense the emotions of everyone around me. But not these five. Their minds were... void. When I probed deeper, I came into contact with words and thoughts that didn't feel human. It was like if I tried to describe to you how a slug experiences the world around it. Completely alien."
"So you could only tell because of Jepthath's power." Hope muses. "That poses a problem. I can't verify these are aliens at all. If they really are Changelings, their disguises are incredible. The blood is slightly discolored, so that might be worth looking into, but otherwise even their genetic makeup is identical to that of any human."
"I think you should examine their souls, sir." Henry suggests. "Or their brains. I'm telling you, they didn't think in the same way I did at all. It was almost frightening how weird their thought patterns were. I can't really put the experience into words."
Another man nearby nods. "I felt the same thing too, Commander. Lord Henry isn't lying."
"I know he isn't." Hope says with a smile, before raising an eyebrow. "Wait, 'Lord' Henry?"
"That is what the Sovereign has decreed all of us should call him by." The man says. "He is Jepthath's Champion. He possesses the same strength and power the Sovereign did when he walked the Earth. It's only fair to call him our Lord."
Hope looks at Henry. The young man doesn't physically appear any different from before. Compared to the roided-up Parahumans who also ascended, Henry appears the same as before, almost as if he didn't power up in the slightest.
"I want some of you to deliver these corpses to Neil in secret." Hope says to a nearby soldier. "I'll let him know you're coming ahead of time. Don't tell anyone these are Changelings. Just say they were training casualties."
"Yes sir!" The soldier says, before gathering a few other people to cover the bodies and drag them away.
As the crowd disperses to discuss the day's events, Hope slaps Henry's back. "Come with me."
He and Henry stand up, then they exit the church and head deep into the woods. After walking for a couple of kilometers, Hope cracks his neck, then turns to face Henry.
"We'll spar here."
Henry blinks. "Sir?"
"My body is augmented." Hope says mildly. "Due to an accident six years ago, billions of nanites ended up embedded under my skin. Over time, they're merged with my biological makeup and enhanced me in lots of different ways. My bones are durable, my mind is quicker, even my blood pumps a little faster."
Hope assumes a guarding stance. He raises both of his fists and looks at Henry seriously. "We'll start off light, but as long as neither of us ends up dead because of a single sudden hit, I should be able to heal any damage we take."
Henry nods. He takes a deep breath, then assumes his own combat stance, dancing between his heels and toes as he starts moving from side to side.
"I've gotta warn you, Commander." Henry says. "I haven't tested my strength yet, but the Sovereign says I'm as strong as he was when he was alive. I also have access to all of his knowledge on fighting, as well as the knowledge of everyone he's ever connected with, and the 10,000 who joined his consciousness today."
"That's why I said we'll start light." Hope says with a smile. "I'm no novice, but when it comes to combat? I doubt I'm Jepthath's match. HUH!"
He suddenly lunges toward Henry and sends a jab at his opponent's right shoulder. Henry lightly pivots from the flat of his foot to his heel, turning slightly to avoid the attack.
THWAP!
Hope sees stars as the side of Henry's fist bashes against his left ear, sending him sprawling to the dirt. Hope blinks his eyes, needing a few seconds to register just what in the hell happened.
"Commander!" Henry exclaims. "Are you okay?!"
He quickly leans down to pick Hope up, and the Wordsmith clumsily climbs to his feet, visibly dazed.
"...huh? Huh?? You... hit me?" Hope asks, incredulous. "I didn't... even... see you move."
"I tried to restrain my strength." Henry says, blushing in embarrassment. "I thought that backfist would only knock you to the side a little bit."
Hope rubs the side of his head. He opens and closes his jaw while a ringing sound squeals in his ear. "Normalize. Heal. It's no problem, Henry. That's the whole point of this exercise, to see how strong you are. Clearly, I was way off the mark in my estimations. I'm going to need to take this a lot more seriously."
Hope once again assumes his guarded-stance. "Empower. Strength. Defense. Swiftness. Agility. Reaction. Prediction..."
He strings along several dozen Words of Power, all of them being spells that he has confirmed will help him during hand-to-hand combat fights thanks to his six years of practice, as well as his training inside the Hall of Heroes.
Finally, he finishes off with one last word. "Invincibility. There, that should make my body basically a slab of tungsten."
"You're all done, sir?" Henry asks, his eyes sparkling innocently. "I'll make sure not to hit you in the head again."
"I'm far stronger than before." Hope warns him. "Don't hold back on my account. Though, do try to avoid my jaw. I can't Wordsmith if I can't speak."
"Noted, sir." Henry says back, as he once again resumes his dance-like steps of combat footwork.
The two men start trading blows once more. This time, Hope manages to match his opponent in the physicality department. When Henry sends a crushing blow toward Hope's chest, the Wordsmith takes the hit, staggers back, then leaps forward to spike a jab at Henry's throat. Henry slaps his fist aside, than ducks low and tries sweeping Hope's feet. The Wordsmith lightly hops, evades the sweep, and plants his feet firmly on the ground before punching down at Henry's lowered head.
Over and over, the two men attack and defend, the sounds of their fists, arms, feet, and legs making contact as they disturb the nearby woodland creatures.
For twenty long minutes, they fight. Eventually, Hope pulls back, sweat covering his whole body. Comparatively, Henry appears somewhat relaxed, as if the sparring session was barely even a warmup.
"I'm not your equal." Hope says mildly. "Strength-wise, I can barely match up to you. But when it comes to technique? I feel like a toddler fighting a martial arts master. I can barely even land any hits, but you're constantly knocking me around like I'm in a goddamn pinball machine."
Henry blushes again. "Sorry, Commander. I held back as best as I could to match your strength level."
"Wait, you're still holding back??" Hope asks, bewildered.
"Well, yes, sir." Henry says, scratching his nose sheepishly. "You said this was only a sparring match. If I were to go all-out I'd probably have easily..."
He trails off, causing the implication to linger in the air.
Hope blinks his eyes, feeling as if a bomb has exploded in his mind. "Henry! Be honest with me. How much have you been holding back?"
"Well. I don't have any exact numbers or whatever." Henry says, looking away. "I mean, I probably used less than half my strength? Can you perhaps boost yourself more? Then I can get a more accurate estimate..."
Visibly dismayed, Hope hangs his head and looks at the ground in disbelief.
"...So this is what Solomon meant when he said Specialists are better than Generalists in their specific field. Sorry, Henry, but if I strengthen my body any more, I'll probably explode. This is all I can manage for now. Let's call it good for today."
"Oh. Alright then!" Henry says, cheering up a bit. "It was a lot of fun anyway, Commander! I feel so powerful now, like I could rip a tank apart with my bare hands! If I have any one complaint, it would just be..."
He pauses, then looks away.
"Well. I'm not usually one for using my fists. I was a sniper when I worked under Neil. I'd rather be using a gun if I'm being honest, but now it feels like I'd be wasting my strength if I did that instead of using my whole body."
"Yeah. Maybe..." Hope says uncertainly. "Or perhaps we need to get you a new weapon and set of armor that better matches what your body can accomplish now, to say nothing of your new status. I'll talk to Hans Wagner and see what he thinks."
With their sparring session complete, both men teleport back to Maiuran High Command, now located in the city of Adamsburg, a fortress built atop the planet's tallest mountain. Despite its immense height and seemingly awkward geographical positioning, because of the efforts of several Fairy Princesses, there exist teleportation matrices at the bottom that can send any number of civilians and troops upward and downward as needed.
This city atop a peak, named Mount Adams after the commander himself, stands as a testament to what humanity can accomplish even with surprisingly limited resources. In fact, Hope Hiro had almost nothing to do with its construction. It was built a few years earlier at the command of Neil himself, who wished to have a secure fallback location in the event of a total collapse of humanity's ranks. While it would normally be quite secure, its carrying capacity was unfortunately too limited to hold all the humans in existence during the Stormbringer assault.
Now though, with humanity's population having been decreased by a significant margin, Adamsburg provides a safe and secure shelter for the humans to start from, allowing them to begin working their way outward to conquer more of Maiura's fertile territory.
As Hope and Henry teleport into the city built atop the mountain, Henry looks around in wonder. "Wow! I should have come here sooner."
Hundreds of residences made of rock and stone dot the city's interior. Thirty-foot walls shield the city from external attacks, which would also have to aim those attacks upward to even reach the city's underside.
In many ways, it resembles a medieval city, but with electricity powering it courtesy of Hope's few material contributions. Thanks to his Wordsmithing, he was able to add a miniaturized fusion reactor to the city's electrical grid, allowing it to self-sustain its residents as needed for the next several hundred years.
When the two men arrive inside Adamsburg, Hope starts walking toward the city center, where Neil's personal office sits comfortably within a few minutes of walking distance in any direction. But hardly has Hope taken ten steps before a series of invisible question marks pop up over his head. He turns around to see Henry standing in place, clearly content to stay behind.
"What are you doing?" Hope asks. "Come on! Let's go see Neil!"
"Huh? Me?" Henry asks, his face paling. "You want... me... to see the Commander? I- I don't know, Hope. That doesn't seem- I don't think that would be a good idea. I know he hates me for what I did. I can't look him in the eye anymore."
Hope realizes the reason for Henry's lollygagging. He chuckles under his breath. "You don't need to worry about that. Neil's not the sort of guy to hold a grudge. Even if he is, all you have to do is sit through one tongue-lashing and admit you screwed up, and he'll forgive you."
"Are... are you sure?" Henry asks, wincing. "I don't know."
"I've known Neil for six years. We're extremely close, almost like father and son." Hope says. "Now come on! If you're going to call yourself 'Jepthath's Envoy' then you're gonna need to grow a goddamn spine, man."
"I have a spine!" Henry protests. "But... it's easier killing demons than facing Commander Adams again. I hate that I nearly got him killed, all because of that demon bitch."
"Good. Be sure and tell him that." Hope concludes.
The two men resume walking. They pass by hundreds of civilians in the bustling city, many of whom have only migrated within the past few days. In fact, more than eighty percent of Maiura's human population have come from Tarus II after the Great Debate, which has caused a certain amount of friction among those who settled here for a longer time before.
"Goddammit!" One man yells as he stands in a line outside a popular restaurant. "Ever since you Tarus yokels came along, this place has been packed every day! I used to be able to walk in and sit down. Why do I need a reservation just because you yahoos moved here, huh??"
"Quiet down!" A man ahead of him yells back. "We're all waiting. Fair is fair!"
Hope observes the interaction as he passes, then swiftly forgets about it a few moments later. Squabbles of this level aren't of any interest to him, and will instead be dealt with by the city enforcers if things turn violent.
He and Henry eventually arrive at a sizable building that resembles a library, with architectural flourishes that give it a classical look, yet without skimping on the security. Numerous troopers patrol outside, while a half-dozen sit and stand atop the slanted roof, keeping an eye out for airborne threats. When Neil is on base, everyone always remains on high alert, just in case.
Both men walk inside, and Hope nods at a blonde woman with glasses. "Debra. Is Neil busy right now?"
"Only if it's not you asking." Debra says with a smile. Then her eyes meet Henry's and that smile disappears. "You brought him here?"
"I have a good reason." Hope says, ignoring the protest in her eyes as he walks Henry over to Neil's office door. He knocks twice, then lowers the handle to push the door open.
Neil looks up, momentarily surprised someone would just walk right in, but only until he realizes it's Hope. "How did the ceremony go?" He asks.
Hope doesn't say anything. He steps into the room, then gestures behind himself at Henry, who slowly walks inside, reflexively lowering his head out of shame.
"C-commander." Henry mumbles, wringing his hands together.
"So it's you." Neil says. He looks at Hope with narrowed eyes. "You brought him here because...?"
Instead of answering, Hope tilts his head up. "Privacy. Barrier. Solidify. Opaque. Scan..."
He erects a privacy field around the room, taking care to triple-check and ensure no Psions are inside the bubble where they can listen in. After satisfying his desire for privacy, he smiles politely at Neil.
"I'd like to introduce you to the strongest member of the Parahuman Corps, Neil. Henry Cliff has obtained a perfect compatibility rating with Jepthath's power. He is as strong as the ancient Hero-King was when he walked the Earth, and has thus been named Jepthath's Champion. You can also call him Lord Henry, or the Illuminator's Envoy, if you prefer."
Neil listens to Hope's introduction. He looks Henry up and down, but to his layman eyes, the young man still appears only as strong as any average soldier. Certainly not as impressive as Hope seems to think.
"I- uh, Commander." Henry says, stuttering and mashing his words together. "Don't- don't let my, uh, appearance fool you. Ahaha... I'm pretty strong."
"He beat my ass during our sparring session." Hope says plainly. "And I was going at him with everything I had. Henry here didn't even break a sweat."
For several long seconds, the room falls into an awkward silence.
Neil simply stares at Henry, and the young man becomes visibly more uncomfortable by the second. Finally, he breaks composure and steps toward Neil while holding his palms out.
"Commander! I... I am so sorry. I am filled with shame at my actions during Stormbringer. I betrayed you! I betrayed humanity. Ose may have assumed the form of a beautiful human woman, but I didn't follow protocol and report her to the higher-ups! Because of me, you ended up captured by the demons and suffered terrible torture! I don't know how I can redeem myself, but I'll do anything- ANYTHING, if it satisfies you."
Neil continues to remain silent for a few seconds longer.
"...Will you kill yourself if I ask you to do so?"
Henry flinches at the question. He starts to open his mouth, but then he pauses for a moment before lowering his head.
"I'm sorry, Commander. That's the one thing I cannot do for you."
"Oh? And why is that?" Neil asks, unfazed.
"Because, sir. I'm not some ordinary civilian anymore. I answer to a higher power. I have a Calling now, and a strength that I cannot throw away uselessly. I need to use Jepthath's strength to save as many human lives as possible! But if, in the future, my power becomes irrelevant, I would be willing to follow your... request."
Neil again stays quiet. He looks Henry up and down a few times, clearly thinking to himself about something unknown.
Finally, he stands up from his chair and folds his hands behind his back.
"That was an excellent response. It seems the time spent in that prison cell gave you a chance to think about what sort of person you were becoming, and what sort of person you'd want to be."
He continues. "I'll be honest, boy. I never blamed you for what you did. Demons are wiley. Crafty. You are young and stupid. You thought with your lower head instead of the brain the Creator gave you. Even so, I know if Ose hadn't pretended to be a human, you'd never have done as she asked. You'd have turned against her the moment you realized she was a demon."
The Commander inhales sharply. "Every man makes mistakes. But it is not these errors which define us. Rather, it is the lessons we learn from them that shape our potential and turn boys into men. I see now that you have grown a little wiser and will not be fooled so easily in the future."
Henry nods heavily. "I cannot claim I'll never make another mistake, Commander. But I promise to do my best not to fall for any bloodskin's forked tongue again."
Neil chuckles. "You know, when I was younger- before Bahamut took me, that is, I fought under a Hero named Napoleon."
He continues. "In Napoleon's army, there were plenty of fellows who screwed up basic orders, failed to follow simple commands, but Napoleon often forgave them even when it seemed nonsensical. Why, on one occasion, some fool lit a cigar near a barrel of gunpowder and damn near killed three people nearby, not to mention himself. When Napoleon only let the man off with a stern rebuke... I was so confused at the time. I questioned him about the matter in private, and do you know what he told me?"
Hope and Henry both listen intently as Neil pauses to let their minds run wild.
"He told me, 'Neil, what would you have me do? Kill the bastard? Better to let him live. For the price of one barrel of gunpowder, we taught that man a valuable lesson. You can bet going forward he'll be far more prudent about his actions!' And I must say, Napoleon was right. That person ended up becoming a lieutenant toward the end of the war, decorated for his valor, and well known for his sometimes-excessive level of caution."
Neil shrugs. "Compared to the price you paid, which actually ended up being nothing at all, I'd say the lesson you learned was equally valuable. I'm fine in the end. Alive and fully intact in body, mind, and soul. Contrary to what you might believe, no demons tortured me, though they did deny me a bit of food in a pathetic, half-assed attempt to weaken my morale. It's too bad they underestimated the indomitable will of the human spirit."
Henry nods, fully comprehending Neil's words. "I understand, Commander. Your wisdom is truly sublime."
"I'm glad to have you back, Henry." Neil says with a smile. "You were my best sniper. I'll be watching your military career with great interest in the future. Don't disappoint me."
Henry slaps his chest. "I promise I won't, sir!"
After the two men exchange a few more pleasantries, Neil has Hope teleport Henry outside of the privacy barrier, leaving the Wordsmith and Commander Adams alone.
In an instant, Neil's smile vanishes. In its face, an icy-cold gaze fixates on Hope.
"That Jepthath is really something." Neil says frostily. "I'll bet you didn't even notice what just happened."
Hope blinks twice. "Huh? What- what do you mean? Are you telling me you only pretended to accept Henry's apology?"
"Henry didn't apologize. Jepthath did." Neil explains slowly, waiting for Hope to catch on. "Come on, boy. You're smarter than this. Don't tell me you didn't notice the abrupt change in Henry's demeanor. I'm not a close friend of his, but we've spoken on several occasions. He's never been this decisive before."
"I... I don't know." Hope says, frowning at Neil. "I think Henry really wanted to get that apology off his chest, Neil. Why are you saying it was Jepthath talking? I mean, I know Jepthath could have used the Dominion Rod's connection to seize control of Henry, but that seems unlikely, don't you think??"
Neil shrugs again. "Maybe you're right. Maybe Jepthath didn't take direct control. But that whole shpiel about a 'higher calling'? Give me a break. Don't you know who Henry is? He's an illiterate human we rescued from one of the savage worlds. He's adapted to modern human society somewhat, true, but since when has he ever been so well-spoken? No, I can state with absolute confidence that Jepthath had a hand in that boy's emotional transformation. It's up to you whether you believe me or not."
Hope's frown deepens. He glances behind himself, as if trying to see the doorway hidden by his Privacy Field. He turns back to Neil, unwilling to concede this point.
"Let's agree to disagree, Neil. Henry's a good guy. He screwed up once, yeah, but you didn't have to lie to him to make him feel better."
"I spoke no lies. I meant every word I said." Neil counters calmly. "Whether or not Jepthath took over for a while, Henry has learned a lesson and it may just turn him into a true man. But we won't know for the foreseeable future, so let's move on to other things."
He meets Hope's gaze. "Have you spoken to Diablo yet?"
"No. I was waiting to see how the Illumination Ceremony played out." Hope explains. "Now I know, and we've gained a lot of bargaining chips. If you really want me to lead troopers into battle alongside the demons, then I'll do it."
"It has to be you." Neil says. "My reputation won't allow me to take Diablo's deal, but you can play the moderate in this situation."
Hope snorts. "Heh. Sometimes you make me think you're a real funny guy, Neil. I'll go find and talk to Diablo after this, don't you worry. Maybe within the next week we can start fighting alongside him."
"That would be for the best." Neil concludes. "Anything else?"
"Yeah. One last thing." Hope says, his tone of voice changing to something resembling a bubbling anger. "There were five Changelings that tried to attend the ceremony. Jepthath sniffed them out when he tried connecting to their minds, and Henry killed them. Our troops should be bringing the bodies soon."
"Changelings." Neil says, tightening his eyebrows. "You're positive it was them? To date, we haven't had any luck detecting them."
"Jepthath's power seems to be the key." Hope explains. "Now that we have five bodies to examine, we'll need to do so in absolute secrecy. I fear the Volgrim already know about the deaths of their spies, but it's possible they might not. In any case, with five bodies to examine, we might find a biological marker or some sort of DNA sequence we can use to identify other Changelings in the future."
A few seconds pass. Neil looks at Hope questioningly.
"You're telling me the differences aren't obvious? Did you even examine their corpses?"
"Of course." Hope says. "That's the first thing I did! But no dice. I'm telling you Neil, if the Parahumans weren't swearing up and down these five were Changelings, I'd have no idea! Their internal organs, their brains, every piece of them came up human even when I looked at them with my Wordsmithing. It's fucking uncanny is what it is. And creepy."
Neil's expression turns ugly. "All along I assumed they were only deceiving us with their outward appearance. If their entire body can blend in with any populace, then we're in real trouble, Hope. We have five bodies to cut open but even those might not help us identify other Volgrim spies!"
"Yeah. You're telling me." Hope mutters.
The two of them chatter a while longer, then Hope turns to leave.
"I'll be visiting Diablo next." Hope says. "Until next time, Neil."
"Until next time." Neil says, as Hope dissipates the Privacy Field.
The Wordsmith teleports away, leaving Neil to plunk back in his chair and rest his elbows on his desk.
Humanity's Military Commander stares vacantly ahead for a long while, thinking about various things.
Jepthath, you are a sneaky one.

Doesn't look like a canker sore to me, but idk. I have those little white dots on my inner cheeks that could potentially be STI related. Also the little red bruises come and go. Tested negative for HIV and HCV/HBV. Could this be herpes or is just random bruising due to teeth placement? I had a sore throat since a few days post exposure, but it was really off and on, got more intense like about 2-3 weeks ago, but went away on it's own.

Hey guys! I (22F) got my tonsils out at 7am and was super nervous but now I’m feeling fine. Was a bit painful when I woke up (like a 3-4/10) because my tongue hurt, and I notced the left side hurt, presumably because that tonsil was always bigger than the other one. Right side was fine
Pain meds they gave me kicked in within an hour and as of now (2PM) it just feels like I have bad strep throat! Horse voice tho, hurts to talk. But besides that I feel fine! Have just been sucking on ice cubes- I slept for 2 hours and figured that’s the most important gonna sleep before I wakeup and eat some more ice chips for the next few days.
Tbh, I feel fine enough that I’m gonna go on a short walk later.
Question is- does anyone else have the urge to clear your throat? And is it painful or bad to do so?

((This takes place in the aftermath of the Capture the Flag post, several months ago.)) ((You can find the first entry of Part 6 here!))
Seth’s intrigued gaze swapped between the surreal scene that had formed around him. From the nervous parchment-clutching rabbit in the tabard, to the terrifying bipedal canine warrior, to the mossy reptile that slumbered between them and the fancy boy perched atop it, and finally to the menacing magical menagerie. Bunnies, kittens, and beagles; Basset hounds, badgers and moles; if he squinted hard enough, Seth could have sworn that he saw a ferret caked in makeup gossiping with the dress-wearing gerbils, meeting his eyes every so often and giggling before hiding her face behind a paper fan in her shiny white paws. The crowd kept their voices low, attention drawn to the tiny monarch playing with his tarot deck and adjusting the oversized crown of liquid metal.
With every pair of eyes of the bestial gentry upon his kneeling and shackled form, the attention of the masses leaden with eager anticipation of punishment, and the freezing glare of the young prince, Seth knew that he would have to choose his next words carefully - and elected not to.
“Heya, Jacob!” Seth raised his hands, manacled at the wrists, and gave the familiar camper a goofy wiggly wave. The crowd gasped. Jacob’s idle hands stopped playing with the cards and quickly shrunk back to be held against his chest. His intense, inquisitive stare crumbled into a brief look of fear, and suddenly he turned his head away, becoming very interested in the braided vines of his dragon-throne.
The armored husky was the first to recover from the ripple of shock that Seth had sent out through the court. She marched down the marble steps, claymore practically dragging alongside her, until she stopped in front of him, raised a heavy black boot over his head, and stomped down on the manacles binding Seth’s wrists. Forcing him into a deep bow, a low growl escaped her throat.
“Silence, cur!” She barked. The whispers in the crowd had stopped now, hushed into silence by her outburst. Even the rabbit standing next to Jacob had quietly yelped into her closed fist, before quickly glancing around to make sure no one had seen her. Seth was given an intimate view of the ground as he listened to the husky’s command. “Hold your tongue. Only those who have been addressed by His Royal Majesty the Prince may speak in His divine presence. Especially so the poisonous words of a filthy thief and tramp, traitor and beggar, despoiler of His very name.”
The dog raised her foot and turned her gaze from Seth to the crowd. This gave the son of Hermes a brief reprieve to examine Jacob again, who now looked as though he wished he could sink into the moss on his dragon’s back and disappear. Had saying hello really flustered the prince that badly? From what Seth knew of Jacob - the real one, not the new and not-so-improved nightmare one - he had a nervous streak a mile wide, but he had courage where it counted, at least according to Meriwether. Following that line of reasoning, he began deciphering what else this version of the son of Hecate might share with the original, and what might be different. Magical aptitude: check. Animal friends: check. Fondness for magical playing cards: check. Easily exploitable weaknesses: maybe?? Heck, the bloke was tiny enough that a sufficiently powerful kick would probably send him flying. He was startled from his thoughts as the husky elaborated, who faced the gentry but glared at him out of the corner of her stern eyes. “It is only through His Majesty’s mercy that you retain the privilege of living. A privilege, I stress, that is easily revoked.”
She glanced back at the Prince, who had retreated into the comfort of his cards once more by summoning them out of wisps of energy circling his palms. For a split second Seth thought he saw her expression soften and brows furrow into something resembling concern, or perhaps sadness, before being replaced by steely resolve. “The Reading of the Sentence may now proceed,” she said, though with less ferocity than she had moments prior, before leveling her sword with the ground and assuming the same attentive stance as before.
At this point, the rabbit was shaking like a very well-dressed leaf in the vaguely vernal wind. She gingerly unfolded the parchment clutched in her paws, cleared her throat, and recited the words on the weathered document for all to hear: “Ahem. All be still and silent for the Reading of the Sentence!! The Accused is faced with the following crimes against the Kingdom: Conspiracy to pilfer the Prince’s prized Mana. Conspiracy to undermine or overthrow Her Most Arcane Majesty Christina and the Glorious Alabaster Line. Heresy against Her Most Arcane Majesty Christina and the Glorious Alabaster Line. Plotting to plunge the world into eternal darkness, madness and Chaos, which is against the interests of the Crown and country, and therefore considered conspiracy to undermine or overthrow Her Most Arcane Majesty Christina and the Glorious Alabaster Line. Dabbling in forbidden magicks. Evasion or underpayment of due taxes. Petty larceny. Resisting arrest. Attempting to escape due trial. On all charges has the Prince deemed the Accused guilty."
Shocker. So that’s what monarchies think a due trial looks like? He was ninety percent sure that he hasn’t done most of the illegal things! But fine, the dream needs to set the scene before the allegorical manifestation of his fellow demigod can dispense with the formalities and open up an arcane can of buttwhooping on Seth’s fragile behind. That was the general format of these encounters that he had observed so far, at least. He refrained from quipping back with something snarky in the middle of this obviously unfair trial. A comment along the lines of this being a “kangaroo court” probably would not go over well, on the slim but very real chance that there were actual kangaroos present in this court. Best not to take chances…
“Your Prodigal Majesty, the Prince, shall henceforth mete the appropriate punishment. May He have mercy on your tarnished soul,” recited the rabbit, “For your crimes are numerous, and their severity steep. Your Majesty?” She turned expectantly to Prince Jacob, who had returned to playing with his magic cards to keep himself calm. When that failed to cue him in, the hound knight cleared her throat gently, raising an armored paw to her snout while her glove gripped the claymore just a little tighter. “Prince Jacob,” she reminded the young royal. The son of Hecate started in his seat and took a terrified open-mouthed glance out at the swarm of animals waiting to hear his divine judgment. His jaw snapped shut with the swiftness of a bear trap. “Nnnh,” came his squeak of embarrassment. “Fffffuh…”
Seth hid a grin as Jacob’s notorious shyness got the better of him when faced with the insurmountable task of public speaking. For once, the Son of Hermes had a plan keeping him one step ahead of the nightmare. A key to his manacles, unseen by all, was clasped tightly in his right hand. For the badger warden hadn’t been too careful when setting him down in front of the grassy throne. Forget yoinking powers; sometimes a little classic thievery provided an elegant solution to his problems. The supernatural dream logic that granted him enhanced abilities whenever facing these nightmares. Just as Jacob struggled to dole out the sentence for these fakey fake crimes, Seth would spring into action and the fight would commence.
“F-for your c-crimes against… um… crimes against my mom… I hhhhuh. Hereby sent-t-.... Sentence you…” Jacob mumbled into his cards, pulling his legs up onto the throne to wrap one arm around them like a ball of condensed half-blood while Seth snuck the key into a better position. Both the attention of the rabbit and husky were trained on their taciturn master, giving him ample time to physically and mentally prepare. Anticipation coiled in his muscles, burning like gasoline. The key slipped into the locking mechanism. Gently, ever so gently, he began to twist. “Sentence you t-... you to..”
“To… To pet one hundred fuzzy animals in mmm… my c-court!” He declared triumphantly, flooding with relief when he realized he had reached the end of that arduous statement. All of the tension spilled from Seth’s body and he nearly dropped the key in surprise. Apparently he was the only one shocked by such an outcome; the gentry roared with approval, tossing hats, scarves and other garments into the air. One kangaroo (oh, hey, see? Good call, Seth) burst into joyful sobs and retrieved a kerchief to dab at her mascara, as though this was the best news she had heard in her entire life. The rabbit attendant clapped her hands in jubilation, and even the husky nodded gravely, as though Seth’s fate had just been sealed. The grassy dragon serving as Jacbo’s throne twitched its ears at the cacophony, before loosing a humid breath and lowering its neck back down for a snooze.
Seth had to fight himself not to double over laughing. Here he was expecting a sinister Hecate-themed showdown, but the only thing he would be fighting today was his urge to pet every animal in sight? “Wait,” he chuckled, sitting up from his kneeling position as an orderly line, policed by the armored husky, began to form to his side. In the front was the badger from before, paws shaking with excitement. “Wait, that’s it? You’re not seriously about to make me-”

THIRTY-FOUR ADORABLE ANIMALS LATER

“Okay, who’s next?!” Seth called, after giving the cuddly anteater an affectionate pat on the back and sending him on his way. His eyes gleamed playfully at the fuzzy otter wearing a monocle next in line, who slinked on over when the power thief beckoned him over. “Afternoon. How may I help you today? Head scritches and a tummy rub? Your wish is my command!”
Under the watchful eye of His Glorious Majesty Jacob of the Royal Zoo or something like that, Seth was indeed sentenced to a grueling petting of one hundred friendly animals. Oh, the horror. The cruel and unusual nature of this punishment could only be endured by someone with godlike fortitude. Indomitable force of will. The strength to carry on after administering dozens of belly rubs and words of affirmation. The universal yearning that all human beings have to pet a bunch of exotic animals that in any other setting you are really not supposed to pet. Good qualities like that. Of course, he was still a prisoner - the guard had refused to remove the manacle from his wrists. Though Seth had expertly tucked the key away in case this abhorrent torture became too much to bear, or something.
The otter rolled onto its back as Seth tickled and brushed its fur. “Who’s a cuddly, friendly guy? You are. You are.” His train of thought was interrupted by the otter’s portly laugh. “Ohoho!” it chuckled, raising a tiny limb to readjust the monocle on its face. “Indeed I am, good sir, indeed I am a cuddly, friendly guy, just as you described!”
Seth forced a smile while his insides shriveled in discomfort. He waved as the otter picked itself back up, patted itself off, and whistled a merry tune while strutting away. Okay, the fact that the animals he was petting were fully sapient was maaaybe starting to creep him out, just a little. Alas. Such was the price to pay for a life on the wrong side of the law. A shadow descended over him. He turned his gaze upwards to see the armored knight glaring down upon him.
Seth glanced around. Had he done something wrong? “Did I… do something wrong?” he echoed the sentiment in his brain.
“Silence!” commanded the bipedal. Siberian husky, although a crack in her facade told him that circumstances were definitely awry. Her piercing blue eyes conveyed the roiling anger from before, but her tail was wagging uncontrollably behind her. “You are not to speak while you. Erm. That is to say, I.. listen carefully, cur! I order you to..”
Seth finished her sentence for her. “Let me guess. You order me to pet you.”
“No. Yes. No! I mean.” Growling in discomfort, she got down on one knee, her armor noisily clanking with the untrained movement. “Two strokes on the top of the head, several pats, followed by a soft scratching behind the ears, -first the left, then the right- and then a gentle, chaste kiss on the forehead. In that order.” Seth raised his hands, poised to strike. “Will that be all?” The husky turned her head. “For now.”
The gentry looked on in envy as the feared Head of the Royal Guard of the Alabaster Line, decorated Knight Orion, daughter of the fierce warrior from whom she received her name, received copious headpats and scratches, all while maintaining her same stoic expression. Although, to Seth’s amusement, occasionally she couldn’t help herself from additional instructions. “Too soft. Not soft enough. Lower. Now to the left. No, my left. No, my other left. Yes. Adequate. Yes. Now please administer the Mantra of Virtue.”
“I’m sorry, the what?” While the orders came in, Seth leaned to one side and noticed a new attendant speaking to Jacob while the rabbit fiddled with her cufflinks. His eyes narrowed at the mysterious stranger, who was the only other human he had seen besides Jacob and himself. They sported no animal features that he could see, and was currently hunched over, whispering something inaudible into the young mage’s ear. They wore a jester’s garb of purple and green from head to toe, though the torso was styled much more akin to a tuxedo. The telltale pointy hat was devoid of bells, and no jester Seth had ever heard of would wear boots, much less ones with spikes. Though what really drew his attention was the mask. They concealed their face with a mask similar to Mara Lyone’s nightmare that he faced so long ago: the ever-gleeful porcelain smile of Comedy, through which a sinister purple mist poured from the eyes and mouth. A mist that, to his alarm, was snaking through the air and drifting directly into Jacob’s ear. The mage’s hands clenched and unclenched under the trance.
“The Mantra of Virtue, you fool! Don’t make me say it out loud!” No one, not Orion, the rabbit, or any of the gathered animals, had noticed the new arrival. Seth had to return his attention to the dog before she got too angry, although she seemed more sheepish now than anything. “You know… Tell me I’m a very good dog!”
“I’ve changed mmh. My mind,” Jacob announced, cutting the awkward conversation short. The jester clasped their gloved hands together and began to sink. A jagged pink crack in reality opened up on the marble floor, swallowing them whole. Then the lights disappeared, leaving no trace that anyone had been there. Jacob slid off of his throne, waving his hands to dismiss the line of animals awaiting their turn. The knight rose to her feet, turning to address her Prince and shaking off the inglorious posture she had assumed a minute before. “What, ah, troubles you, My Lord? Is the Sentence not proceeding how you envisioned it?”
“I have a, a, a,.... A new sentence.” The little Prince’s irises had become tinged by a swirling purple, and wisps of a similar colored smoke trickled from the edge of his lips and nostrils. The clouds overhead began to darken, and a chill wind blew through the assembled animals. Seth gingerly tapped at the key hidden in his sleeve, making sure it was still there. Carefully he brought it to the manacle’s lock.
The rabbit attendant began to back away as all of the shadows in the vicinity seemed to grow and intensify, pulling in the surrounding natural light. Leaves scattered across the garden court, and Jacob’s tarot cards were carried by the vortex. Orion’s eyes widened both in realization, and trepidation. She hesitated briefly, but rose her claymore in a fighting stance, seemingly ready to defend against her renegade ruler. “My Lord..? My Lord! Prince Jacob! Come to your senses! I beseech you, tell me what ails you?”
Jacob flicked his wrist. An unseen force knocked Orion to the side with ease, much to the horrified gasps of the crowd. Animals of all sorts began to turn tail and flee from the scene, only to be stopped in their tracks. Large thorny hedges erupted from the soil, pushing apart the stones of the path leading to the palace and boxing the gentry in. They pushed through the leaves in desperation, leaving their garments behind and retreating into shadows as the floral labyrinth surrounded the palace, its leafy walls sprouting higher and higher.
“Changed my mmmh. My mind. New sentence. Seth. Seth’s nnnh. New sentence is… d-d-... death.” Seth sprung to his feet and cast off the manacle, ready to fight. Jacob’s eyes rolled back into his head. The tiny demigod crumpled into an unconscious heap. His crown tumbled off of his head and rattled to a stop.
Seth lowered his fists and cocked a brow. “Oh.”
Out from the shadow of Jacob’s form, an indistinct murky shape bled onto the palace steps.The stormclouds began striking the distant countryside with silver lightning as the shape began to bubble like acid. The scent of countless cadavers wafted from the blob. Suddenly an appendage burst out of the living shadow’s oily membrane, a wicked forelimb that only vaguely resembled a claw. It slammed into the ground, cracking it with the force of the blow, just as a second forelimb was birthed from the miasma and grasping for a hold. Instinctually backing away from the macabre metamorphosis, Seth found that his rapier and buckler had mysteriously appeared in his hands as if responding to their master’s silent pleas for assistance, and held them aloft.
Fur sloughed off of the shadow’s sinewy body in sullied white patches. Shadowy gunk was caught in its yellowed nails the size of textbooks. A massive rabbit’s skull writhed free of the prison, with two twisted and malformed antlers exploding from the top. The fangs of such a beast grew to exaggerated proportions, nearly puncturing its own jawbone as it gnashed them together. The monster lacked a lower body, its torso instead tapering into a coil of smoke as it floated into the air. Behind its empty sockets, a single rotting apple gave off a dull golden glow, roving back and forth and extending its light in a sickly cone of vision.
“Oh,” Seth chirped. This was one bunny he was not particularly enthused about petting. “Okay.”
“Death,” repeated the towering jackalope, its throat vibrating with the rumble of two voices; Jacob’s, and a raspy, nasty gurgle that overlaid it. Symbols and runes lit up along its matted bones. As the hedge maze parted behind Seth, encouraging the beast’s prey to begin running, Jacob’s Shadow tilted its head back and screeched into the sky, clenching its claws together and drawing blue fluid from its exposed veins.
”Death!” Pounding both fists into the ground, it lowered its head and surged forward with impossible speed.

Part 1 - Seth Westley, the Nobody

• Davenport Devil Chapter 1 - Brandon Davenport, Hephaestus - 7 Offerings to Phlegethon
• Maestra Chapter 2 - Mara Lyones, Athena - 1 Concert disrupted
• Ragnarok Chapter 3 - Helena Masters, Boreas - 64 Winters endured
• Pop Quiz Chapter 4 - Andre Delgado, Alastor - 6 Family bonds unchained
• Melting Pot Chapter 5 - Lucien Michaeux, Circe - 1 Father realized (END OF PART 1)

Part 2 - The Dark Jester's Corruption

• Prince's Court - Chapter 6 - Jacob Alabaster, Hecate - A maze yet conquered
• Sandman - Chapter 7 - ??? - An outlaw yet apprehended
• Undying - Chapter 8 - ??? - A beach yet escaped
• Tower of Midas - Chapter 9 - ??? - An oath yet sworn
• sLaughter - Chapter 10 - ??? A corruption yet cleansed (END OF PART 2)

I've never experienced anything quite like it. I've been wheezing and rattling (and self isolating) for like five days now when I breathe, but no other major symptoms. I just talked to some friends that said they are having breathing issues as well (and some sore throats). It's not covid, per the tests. Anyone else?? How did you recover? Wondering how long it's lasting for folks and what other symptoms you got.
EDIT: Just adding that I'm not "whooping" on my inhale or when I cough. It's just sort of a dry wheeze/crackle on my exhale and then I cough a lot in the morning and at night, and sometimes I cough up phlegm. Not really any other symptoms other than slightly swollen tonsils but they could also be irritated from all the coughing.

I promise I am not frantically doctor-hopping but I have somehow found myself in this predicament and I am confused. So I am here seeking the advice of folks who are much wiser than I. I'm hoping that based on hearing their approaches, you may be able to give me your opinion on which doctor seems more aligned with my case.
3 years ago food poisoning + UTI antibiotics led to gut issues. Severe burping and gas, especially in the upper GI. It's bubbling up and down all day and night, sometimes triggering extra bathroom trips. Burning stomach, sore intestines. Diarrhea prone during severe flare ups. Large yellow BMs. Right torso pain. Upper back pain. Hypersensitive to herbs and supplements even with microdoses. Chronic dysuria. 33F. Tongue pic
Doctor A
Remote consult
Diagnosis: Rebellious qi, some dampness, mixed hot/cold pattern
Prescription: Huang qin, zhi shi, ban xie hou po tang, dong quai, and bao he wan. All raw herbs that I will grind into a powder myself.
~
Excited that I found a potential long-term doc, I hopped and skipped over to a store to buy the herbs to make my own powder. The owner turned out to be a TCM doctor who wanted to diagnose me before selling me herbs. He said the words I really didn't want to hear: "Your doctor was wrong."
Enter confusion.
Doctor B
In-person consult
Diagnosis: phlegm and qi intertwined, spleen not transforming, stomach qi doesn't move down
Prescription: Tea - xuan fu dai zhe tang, xiao xian xiong tang
~
I was happy to get started with Doc A until Doc B got into my head about how Doc A was wrong. Which doctor is right? I was told to test the decoction for 3 days. It made my mouth and stomach burn and made me sweat. I have had severe burping/gas. I haven't been able to eat or sleep properly because of how much burping/bubbling/gas there is, though I can't confirm this is due to the herbs as it is a pre-existing symptom, it's just 100x worse right now so I could just be in a flare. I've also developed vaginal itching. Doc B said, "These are signs of the herbs killing the disease." Is this tea working like an antimicrobial and causing intense die-off/yeast overgrowth?
I believe both prescriptions have similar actions but obviously, I want to be under the care of one doctor. But who will be the chosen one? Doc B is in my city so I can go for in-person consults, but I'm not sure I agree with the approach of the herbs "killing the disease" as that mindset of "kill kill kill" is what got me in this gut mess in the first place. Doc A is in another city so there's obviously no pulse diagnosis which is important.
But then again I had another TCM doc last year in-person and I saw no improvement with her, so in-person does not mean accurate. Both Doc A and B agreed that her prescription of mu xiang shun qi wan was not right for me.
Penny for your thoughts, please?
Q1) Which doctor's assessment do you lean towards? Or are they both missing the mark?
Q2) And is the decoction too strong/antimicrobial and not suited to me? I don't want to undo all the progress I've made with improving my microbiome/gastritis.
Thanks in advance!

5 months ago I had unprotected sex, after sex I got a sore lower abdomen for a few days but I presume it was from either the roughness or the position/muscle straining but it did make me think I had a uti but like I said it went away in a few days. Fast forward about 5 weeks I developed congestion, morning nausea, and a sore throat for all together 9 days. Drs thought I was pregnant but those tests came back negative, negative for strep/covid/ and the flu but I got antibiotics because I had a sore throat for longer than 5 days which signaled an infection and it cleared. I had night sweats for ONE NIGHT after starting antibiotics but I also presume it was my environment factor because that only happened one time and never happened again. (Sore throat, nausea, congestion, night sweats all went away after antibiotic treatment was done) Fast forward, I got a bf and we dated for 3 months and were unprotected for those three months together, we broke up and after breaking up I started developing everyday headaches for over a month. Took some trial and error but I finally got headache medication that works for me and they’re controlled now. But I did get really scared. So, at 72 days post any sexual encounter I did a full std panel at a hospital where they took tubes of blood from me and all of it came back including a 4th gen HIV test, is that conclusive or do I need to wait 90 days and retest again? Easily my sickness back with guy #1 could’ve just been a bad cold and i understand that I just am having bad anxiety.

Hey Peoples,
yesterday I had a date with a very thick dick and he fucked my throat like..I don’t now..like it’s the end of the world. After that session til today I’ve got a sore throat and feeling some pain when I swallow. Is that normal? Did he hurt my larynx?

Hello,
I am on a skilled worker visa at a top 10 accounting firm. Secured the job after multiple rounds of interviews and tests / joined in March this year. As a non-eu candidate, my work visa and solicitor costs were paid by the firm. That is £7K. There is contractual stipulation I have to pay this back if I resign or am terminated (yes covers both ends, I double checked in my contract) within 2 years of employment. For context, my salary is £32K. I cleared my probation.
This was my first experience at a big firm and things haven’t been going great, I agree this has been a learning curve for me and I have made some mistakes, I take full accountability of my shortcomings and have always sought feedback / committed to improve. I had to pick loads on the job as the training was not good. I was on billable client work since day 2 of my first week with minimal training. Also the training was watching useless pre recorded videos instead of actual work training. However learning through billable client work means client work getting delayed / budget over runs etc. I however reject the premise of being put in PIP and I don’t think I am that bad, cleared probation, and passed multiple rounds in interviews. I can defo do the job but perhaps need a little more time.
For context, my team fired 3 people in my first three months, all of them were people of colour and on visa and I am poc too and on visa (no I am not trying to legally get involved with court stuff don’t have money for lawyers).
I have now been put in PIP and HR is involved. I requested and begged my employer to put me in an informal programme without involving HR and promised I’d improve but they didn’t listen, they’re adamant to get HR involved, me being 3 months into the job, wasn’t expecting this level of cut throat harshness but here we are. The first time they told me about my shortcomings was when they decided they will involve HR, I was not communicated this beforehand and had no chance of improvement - I raised this and they said they technically don’t have to give me that opportunity, I should know how the work is done as I have some prior experience. This doesn’t make sense because I am ‘green’ grade staff, lowest staff grade at the firm.
While I am actively looking for new opportunities, could someone help me navigate the £7K visa clawback costs? I haven’t been paid 7K in salary and I don’t have savings. The way they are treating me I don’t know if they will offer an option for a payment plan. Being on a work visa further means I will have to leave the country if terminated unless I find another job.
Is there a way to approach the visa clawbacks in case my job is terminated or if I resign?

Hello,
I am on a skilled worker visa at a top 10 accounting firm. Secured the job after multiple rounds of interviews and tests / joined in March this year. As a non-eu candidate, my work visa and solicitor costs were paid by the firm. That is £7K. There is contractual stipulation I have to pay this back if I resign or am terminated (yes covers both ends, I double checked in my contract) within 2 years of employment. For context, my salary is £32K. I cleared my probation.
This was my first experience at a big firm and things haven’t been going great, I agree this has been a learning curve for me and I have made some mistakes, I take full accountability of my shortcomings and have always sought feedback / committed to improve. I had to pick loads on the job as the training was not good. I was on billable client work since day 2 of my first week with minimal training. Also the training was watching useless pre recorded videos instead of actual work training. However learning through billable client work means client work getting delayed / budget over runs etc. I however reject the premise of being put in PIP and I don’t think I am that bad, cleared probation, and passed multiple rounds in interviews. I can defo do the job but perhaps need a little more time.
For context, my team fired 3 people in my first three months, all of them were people of colour and on visa and I am poc too and on visa (no I am not trying to legally get involved with court stuff don’t have money for lawyers).
I have now been put in PIP and HR is involved. I requested and begged my employer to put me in an informal programme without involving HR and promised I’d improve but they didn’t listen, they’re adamant to get HR involved, me being 3 months into the job, wasn’t expecting this level of cut throat harshness but here we are. The first time they told me about my shortcomings was when they decided they will involve HR, I was not communicated this beforehand and had no chance of improvement - I raised this and they said they technically don’t have to give me that opportunity, I should know how the work is done as I have some prior experience. This doesn’t make sense because I am ‘green’ grade staff, lowest staff grade at the firm.
While I am actively looking for new opportunities, could someone help me navigate the £7K visa clawback costs? I haven’t been paid 7K in salary and I don’t have savings. The way they are treating me I don’t know if they will offer an option for a payment plan. Being on a work visa further means I will have to leave the country if terminated unless I find another job.
Is there a way to approach the visa clawbacks in case my job is terminated or if I resign?