In the past few days, this situation has escalated beyond anyone's expectations. The media's focus on the matter as well as word of mouth has been immense, but this although a benefit to justice overall has brought attention to a lot of false narratives.

I am someone that is quite close to this ongoing case and also one of the witnesses not just for the accident but the events that took place after as well as prior to it. I have insider information regarding both parties and will be making 2 separate unbiased and purely analytical posts based on 100% confirmed facts in each, for each party at play which is of the driver and the rider. This one reveals secrets in support of Vedant Agarwal.

Justice should be delivered but it can only be called "justice" if all variables have been taken into account and both the accused and victims are critically assessed in an unbiased manner.

Thus, here are just a few clarifications for current common misconceptions:

• The person in the pictures or videos (the long curly haired, slightly short person in a light blue shirt) is NOT Vedant Agarwal. This is simply one of the friends that was in the car and at the restaurant and club with them. This poor man has not committed any crime, was not an accomplice but just someone who wanted a ride back home in a fun car and yet is infamous now because Media doesn't fact check thoroughly.
• The CCTV footage of Cosie doesn't even have Vedant Agarwal in it. Although that was indeed the table that the group of friends were stationed at, Vedant is not seen anywhere throughout the video footage, Media framed the innocent guy getting beaten up in the viral video (the blue shirt kid) as Vedant and that is who we see in the footage. Now while there is no video evidence of Vedant drinking, it is true according to a re-test that he was indeed under influence but his BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) was not released.
• Vedant's blood alcohol content did not amount to 40%. Amongst the alcoholic beverages that the entire table ordered which ranged from a few light beers to whiskey to vodka, news sites are using the fact that the vodka ordered has an alcohol content of 40% in their headlines and uneducated civilians (which are a lot) think that is what his blood alcohol percentage was. I mean just a 0.30% BAC is more than enough to kill a person due to alcohol poisoning, and even to achieve this level you would have to drink perhaps half a litre of strong nail polish remover.
• Vedant did NOT drink alcohol worth ₹48,000 in under 90 minutes. The duration of him being out to celebrate was around 4-5 hours, he drank alcohol during this time. Since this ₹48,000 bill was only of the Cosie restaurant, I will only talk of that. First let us understand how Cosie works. Cosie offers you an option to book a table, the advantage of this is that you have a place to sit and keep your belongings safe, a personal attendant, better accessibility to all of Cosie's features, easier entry into the restaurant which on a Saturday night is very difficult, exclusivity as not everyone can afford spending the high upfront cost of a table and the most important being that the cost of the table can be used up as balance on which you order food or drinks. This means that a table that costs ₹48,000 to book allows the table to order food and drinks worth up to that amount. Cosie tables vary in prices based on where in the restaurant you get them and how large the table is. Since the entire friend group would be present, one of the larger tables was booked which is what made the billing amount to ₹48,000. Each friend contributed and split this amount so that they could afford it into well over 12-15 parts making the spend per person around ₹3,000 which is normal for anyone wishing to go to a pub and keep their stomachs fed in Koregaon Park on a Saturday night. I would also like to mention that the group ordered not too many drinks but few that were high quality and expensive on their own but made even more expensive by the absurd overpricing we see in most such places and Cosie takes that to the extreme, that's how they make a profit while giving you a seemingly "worth it" offer when booking a table. Only around a pair of Hoegaarden Beers, a bottle of Absolut Vodka and 1 Johnnie Walker Black Label along with a good amount of food and many non-alcoholic beverages like CocaCola or RedBull were ordered for not just Vedant and not even just the 12-15 people of the group but even the many mutuals that tagged along and took advantage of their related friend's table having that balance. This means that Vedant may not have been as drunk as people suggest. Furthermore, all these items were priced nearly 3 times their original cost making the bill so expensive.
• The riders were not wearing any protection gear, also broke the Traffic Code and didn't adhere to Road Safety Regulations. The two victims who's lives were lost in the accident are not fully out of blame. Yes, the blame they hold for the incident is probably a very small percentage but as I said earlier, for true justice, all variables must be taken into account. The riders were not wearing any gear and most importantly did not have a helmet on. The sudden deaths of both riders was due to the impact on their heads, other parts of their body were barely effected even when considering the speed of the car. This means that if they were wearing helmets, they very likely would have lived to fight for their own justice. Additionally, they too were going pretty fast. The two came out of another Club called Ballr and indeed were also under the influence of alcohol which is why their life insurance was denied. Neither of the two riders looked left or right and took a very sharp U-turn, this would have made them seem to appear out of nowhere if Vedant was only looking perfectly straight. Vedant's car was an Electric vehicle that does not make much noise at all specially unlike most Supercars so an argument can be made that they didn't hear him coming and thus speedily went forward (which still means they broke regulations and guidelines) but the sheer speed at which Vedant drove clearly made enough road noise as other pedestrians quickly moved away to avoid getting hit by the car. All of this can be confirmed by taking a deep look at the CCTV footage of the area of accident.
• The people don't care as much as they're made to think they do. The entire Pune community has been enraged recently and rightfully so. But don't you find it a little strange how even though this is in no way the first or most dangerous drunk driving case in Pune due to irresponsible authorities, never has Pune seen such an uproar? Well, propaganda lead by politics has a part to play. It is election season and every party constantly and desperately searches at this time for ways to prove each other wrong. And what better way for the opposition to get a chance in overthrowing the ruling party than to turn the citizens, communities and its media against the ruling party which are the current active authorities? The easiest way to do this is simple and has been being used since the British Raj in many different ways on many different levels, the divide and conquer to build dispute and ruckus method. It is how the British colonised us using their Rich-Poor speeches, it is how BJP won the country using their Hindu-Muslim speeches, it is how lower income state ministries like Bihar are won over using their Brahman-Dalit speeches and it is how the entire city decided from the second they saw a Porsche Taycan instead of a Suzuki Swift without even taking into account absolutely anything else or getting to know more that the rich and specially the rich accountable are demons and murderers and not instead just immature children causing accidents due to carelessness of the ones in charge. These people for their own gains are directing the media using their influence and in some cases even money, and because of 'monkey do what monkey see' everyone else follows and repeats the same. I myself am not well off financially at all, but at least I don't simply hate the rich and chant "eat the rich!" simply out of envy. The public is doing the right thing by actually talking about the issue and keeping it relevant, but its just sad to see how they aren't doing it intrinsically and are being manipulated into caring so much about it by authorities and community leaders that wish for their own gains. Ask yourself, would it go this far if the accused was still wealthy and fed the police/law money to get away but was in a cheap car in a less crowed area in an off-election season? Would the crime that holds the same value be treated in the same way? If you answered "Yes" then you are wrong, because that exactly has indeed happened before in Pune itself by a person with political ties and nobody cared then.
• A lot more is unknown or at least not publicly shared, but I won't go further into those topics since my seniors may figure out it is me writing this. All I ask of you, my fellow Punekars , is to think for yourselves as you bring justice because otherwise your justice has no true value to it and we all will lose even if we win.

^{Finally, I just want to make some requests. One is that everyone who goes to visit the scene of the accident to pay their respects to the deceased, PLEASE wear helmets when you come on two-wheelers. The amount of people I see on an almost daily basis show up there to spread awareness about rules and regulations and following correct traffic laws while repeating the same mistakes seems so disrespectful to the deceased in my opinion. I do not care if you have a death wish and hate wearing helmets for your daily commute, but at least when showing up for this, wear one. If you see someone there who isn't wearing one, tell them to wear one. They're not too expensive when you understand how valuable they are. Two is that people need to go a little bit easier on the father, yes it was his carelessness and lack of dealing with his responsibilities that played a part in causing the accident but at the same time, from a father's perspective, he was just trying to give his child a life he was probably unable to have. We all want to earn to keep our families happy and satisfied and work hard in discomfort so that they live easily, he wanted the same but got carried away by it. Blame him for his irresponsibility but don't call him a murderer and throw ink on him when his only mistake was to trust his own son. I personally find the managers at Cosie, Blak and Ballr as well as the RTO police and authorities that allowed these places to stay operating that late at night at more fault than the father. At the same time, when you do speak of Vedant even, do remember that he indeed is just a child and has a not fully developed brain, you aren't telling an adult who caused an accident to kill himself or worse but a child that was already going through severe depression and other mental as well as physical troubles. Justice will be served and I believe in us to gain it, but we must be weary of in what manner we wish to gain it.}
Just for clarification: I AM IN NO WAY IN SUPPORT OF VEDANT AGARWAL, HIS FAMILY OR ANY OF THE OTHERS AT FAULT OR IN RELATIONS TO THIS CASE. I SIMPLY NOTICED HOW ONE SIDED THE SITUATION IS AND FOR ETHICAL FAIRNESS MADE THIS POST.

A word of warning: we are an Indian family. I (18M) know that many people here have ingrained Western values, as do I (I wasn't raised in India). But they are full of Indian ideas, values, and superstitions. Once we had a 45 minutes arguments about me saying "Jeez" - because it's a short form of "Jesus" (we are Hindu). Another time I said I wanted to greet them with "Hi" instead of "Jay Shri Krishna" because I felt weird about it - and then they yelled at me that I didn't want to take god's name and I must surely love the muslims who greet with "Mashallah" (nothing against them from my side btw - some of my good friends are muslim, to their chagrin). Overall, read this post with a ton of salt, and with the lens of an Eastern culture rather than Western. Also, it's very long and rant-lik. But I really really need advice and I'm very confused - please please read the full thing and help me!
I was raised by my parents in a peaceful Southern African country that follows Western values. My friends from international school are all a blend - white, Indian, Chinese, Arab, and many locals (so black). Over time, I have questioned myself on which cultural and practical values to follow, and I've adopted a blend of traditional Indian and learned Western values. I am a Hindu and will stay a Hindu, but I'm not religious as my Stay At Home mom (48F) or working dad (49F).
I took a gap year after graduating from school a year early (I was a gifted child - not to boast, everyone is a genius in their own way :D) and was accepted into the University of Cambridge. My dad wholeheartedly committed the crazy huge cost of around 60,000 pounds annually out of pocket, whereas my mother was less enthused and many times tried to convince my dad to send me to a lesser grade school and save some more money for their retirement. For contest, they can afford this amount, but their retirement would be slightly less comfortable if I didn't pay them back over time, which I've already promised I will.
It sounds like our relationship is good on paper, but in reality it's really distraught. In particular with my mother, I've begun clashing on stupid things that they just won't budge on. They won't let me arrange my desk in my room, force me to wear a stupid ring and necklace that I hate due to their superstitious belief, and constantly berate me for the littlest things. Admittedly, the basis of their point is usually correct, but my mother always throws in a number of insults, and it devolves into a shouting match because if I try to point this out my mother will say "you can't talk to me this way". My dad will just say that I'm useless anyway and there's no point in talking to me, he's leaving for Cambridge anyway. My mom will sometimes say just send him to India to live with his grandparents (I have no friends or family here - all my school friends have flown out for university, all international kids do, and remaining friends are just acquaintances who are kids of my parents' friends). On rare occasions my mom will hit me or strangle me, or when I defend myself, both of them will become furious that "I even thought of raising my hand against my mom". They said that when they were kids, they could never have dreamed of such, that they gave so much for me (which is true), and that I don't respect them (which isn't true - I just also have self-respect too).
I'm not perfect either though - I didn't make any extensive preparations for mother's day, since I thought we didn't celebrate it (we hadn't until that point, along with basically any Western holidays ever - Father's Day, Women's Day, Valentine's Day, Easter, Christmas, New Year - it never happens, we just wish each other and move on, and attend any parties their friends are holding). After some discussion in which my mother expressed her disappointment, I sincerely apologised and by the end of the day we were relatively normal.
Last night, we were planning a trip to India for me to visit my grandparents. We were in a relatively ok mood. My mother jokingly said she'll miss me when I go to India, and I said this is just the trailer for when I go to Cambridge. Then my mother asked when I'll get her to move back in with me once I start working. (A note to all Western readers here - this is extremely common in India. Traditionally everyone lives with their parents forever, though now it's becoming less common, especially among Non-Residential Indians like us.) I said something along the lines of I hadn't really thought of it, but probably once I settle down with a family and have a house. My mother broke down screaming and crying, and berating my dad for not moving back to India and saying she regretted having not sent my butt back to boarding school in India when she had the chance. She yelled that this is what happens when you have a capable son. My father laughingly calmed her down and said that I just haven't become really familiar with Indian values, that they should talk about these things with me and of course I'll understand and agree - it's not like I'll oppose them. My mother, sniffling, eventually calmed down. They explained to me that they want me with them as soon as possible after college, saying it's my duty. I asked what if I don't have the money? Or need it for starting a business? Or something? Basically their only answer was it's your duty to do so, and we'll pay for ourselves. I plan to settle in Switzerland btw, and if I'm earning I can afford myself - but there's no way I can afford two retirees who've given so much money for my college anyway.
I just agreed with them so we can settle down and sleep, but now I'm sure I don't want them to move in with me for a long time. I would eventually want them nearby, but "at arm's length" if you get what I mean. There's no way I'm telling them that now - they "love" me so much they'll probably cut of my funding and send me to a local university, which is dogsh*t. Here in this African country there are basically no opportunities and my Cambridge admission and funding is my ticket out of here. And they hold that ticket, so for now I have to appease them. I also lack skills of independence - financial planning, cooking (I know a few things but still lots to learn), time management, and more. They stifle my growth simply with their presence and what they believe is completely normal - things like checking my phone basically daily, having access to all my social media, email, LinkedIn, Slack, Notion, everything. Once I move away I plan to log them off in the first few weeks with the excuse of enabling two-factor authentication. My dad is a cybersecurity enthusiast so he'll agree. Once I'm on my own I'll learn how to actually live, and once I start earning I won't need to appease them. Of course, I will gradually return the money for college and will support them as a son should - but from a distance. I really don't want to live with them for the rest of my life, they'll make my life horrible with their incessant squabbles.
Also there's the problem of marriage - I don't want to have an arranged marriage, I want to have a proper dating and courtship period like normal people. But my parents are stuck in the ancient systems of them introducing girls to me and me just agreeing or disagreeing in basically a handul of meetings. But that's no way to find the love of your life, the person you'll literally have to commit to forever! My parents had an arranged marriage and agreed just because their parents said so - they didn't even meet each other. Look how that turned out - my dad had skills but little ambition so he's now stuck at a job he hates, delaying his retirements until I start earning. My mom is full of ambition but left her job to look after me (not under pressure of my father, but under pressure of her own preconceived societal notions) and now can't even find a job in a place like this. My parents are really mismatched in my opinion, but they've grown to care for each other so I guess opposites attract? Idk, they've never shown any affection to each other ever. Like they never hold hands or hug or kiss or anything, it seems like they're roommates. To me it seems like they just have platonic love. I don't want a marriage like that - I want to find someone I truly care about, who I look at and my heart melts every day, someone who drives me to become the best version of myself so I can make her happier. Not someone who my parents deemed "of the appropriate caste, appropriate horoscope, appropriate job and salary, and appropriate appearance - good job, you found a wife." My parents and I did discuss how my marriage will occur briefly, but we haven't come to a conclusion. I wasn't firm in my beliefs to not put them off so we didn't really conclude.
So what do I do? I really don't want to cut them off - we did have our moments, like my dad and I climbing Mt Kilimanjaro to celebrate my 18th birthday (my mom yelled at us both when we came back - saying I didn't know if my only son was even alive when he turned 18 due to network, how dare you etc etc). But anyway we did have our moments and I do love and care for them deeply. But I need room to spread my wings and find myself, and they seem determined to trap me in worse and worse ways. To some they might seem narcissistic, but then why are they supporting me with my Cambridge fees and encouraging me to take on the world? To some they might seem encouraging but then why did my mom say that if I need to abandon my future business just so I have the means to support them "when" they move in with me (it's a fact of life according to them)? And why is my dad always switching quietly enabling her, supporting me, yelling at me, yelling at her, and doing nothing? I'm really confused. I need help to understand how I should approach this situation. All I know is I can't clear the air before I can stand on my own feet, because they will cut off my funding. So what and when and how do I do? Please help. (Burner account so they can't find me - and they're never on Reddit anyway :D)

A word of warning: we are an Indian family. I (18M) know that many people here have ingrained Western values, as do I (I wasn't raised in India). But they are full of Indian ideas, values, and superstitions. Once we had a 45 minutes arguments about me saying "Jeez" - because it's a short form of "Jesus" (we are Hindu). Another time I said I wanted to greet them with "Hi" instead of "Jay Shri Krishna" because I felt weird about it - and then they yelled at me that I didn't want to take god's name and I must surely love the muslims who greet with "Mashallah" (nothing against them from my side btw - some of my good friends are muslim, to their chagrin). Overall, read this post with a ton of salt, and with the lens of an Eastern culture rather than Western. Also, it's very long and rant-lik. But I really really need advice and I'm very confused - please please read the full thing and help me!
I was raised by my parents in a peaceful Southern African country that follows Western values. My friends from international school are all a blend - white, Indian, Chinese, Arab, and many locals (so black). Over time, I have questioned myself on which cultural and practical values to follow, and I've adopted a blend of traditional Indian and learned Western values. I am a Hindu and will stay a Hindu, but I'm not religious as my Stay At Home mom (48F) or working dad (49F).
I took a gap year after graduating from school a year early (I was a gifted child - not to boast, everyone is a genius in their own way :D) and was accepted into the University of Cambridge. My dad wholeheartedly committed the crazy huge cost of around 60,000 pounds annually out of pocket, whereas my mother was less enthused and many times tried to convince my dad to send me to a lesser grade school and save some more money for their retirement. For contest, they can afford this amount, but their retirement would be slightly less comfortable if I didn't pay them back over time, which I've already promised I will.
It sounds like our relationship is good on paper, but in reality it's really distraught. In particular with my mother, I've begun clashing on stupid things that they just won't budge on. They won't let me arrange my desk in my room, force me to wear a stupid ring and necklace that I hate due to their superstitious belief, and constantly berate me for the littlest things. Admittedly, the basis of their point is usually correct, but my mother always throws in a number of insults, and it devolves into a shouting match because if I try to point this out my mother will say "you can't talk to me this way". My dad will just say that I'm useless anyway and there's no point in talking to me, he's leaving for Cambridge anyway. My mom will sometimes say just send him to India to live with his grandparents (I have no friends or family here - all my school friends have flown out for university, all international kids do, and remaining friends are just acquaintances who are kids of my parents' friends). On rare occasions my mom will hit me or strangle me, or when I defend myself, both of them will become furious that "I even thought of raising my hand against my mom". They said that when they were kids, they could never have dreamed of such, that they gave so much for me (which is true), and that I don't respect them (which isn't true - I just also have self-respect too).
I'm not perfect either though - I didn't make any extensive preparations for mother's day, since I thought we didn't celebrate it (we hadn't until that point, along with basically any Western holidays ever - Father's Day, Women's Day, Valentine's Day, Easter, Christmas, New Year - it never happens, we just wish each other and move on, and attend any parties their friends are holding). After some discussion in which my mother expressed her disappointment, I sincerely apologised and by the end of the day we were relatively normal.
Last night, we were planning a trip to India for me to visit my grandparents. We were in a relatively ok mood. My mother jokingly said she'll miss me when I go to India, and I said this is just the trailer for when I go to Cambridge. Then my mother asked when I'll get her to move back in with me once I start working. (A note to all Western readers here - this is extremely common in India. Traditionally everyone lives with their parents forever, though now it's becoming less common, especially among Non-Residential Indians like us.) I said something along the lines of I hadn't really thought of it, but probably once I settle down with a family and have a house. My mother broke down screaming and crying, and berating my dad for not moving back to India and saying she regretted having not sent my butt back to boarding school in India when she had the chance. She yelled that this is what happens when you have a capable son. My father laughingly calmed her down and said that I just haven't become really familiar with Indian values, that they should talk about these things with me and of course I'll understand and agree - it's not like I'll oppose them. My mother, sniffling, eventually calmed down. They explained to me that they want me with them as soon as possible after college, saying it's my duty. I asked what if I don't have the money? Or need it for starting a business? Or something? Basically their only answer was it's your duty to do so, and we'll pay for ourselves. I plan to settle in Switzerland btw, and if I'm earning I can afford myself - but there's no way I can afford two retirees who've given so much money for my college anyway.
I just agreed with them so we can settle down and sleep, but now I'm sure I don't want them to move in with me for a long time. I would eventually want them nearby, but "at arm's length" if you get what I mean. There's no way I'm telling them that now - they "love" me so much they'll probably cut of my funding and send me to a local university, which is dogsh*t. Here in this African country there are basically no opportunities and my Cambridge admission and funding is my ticket out of here. And they hold that ticket, so for now I have to appease them. I also lack skills of independence - financial planning, cooking (I know a few things but still lots to learn), time management, and more. They stifle my growth simply with their presence and what they believe is completely normal - things like checking my phone basically daily, having access to all my social media, email, LinkedIn, Slack, Notion, everything. Once I move away I plan to log them off in the first few weeks with the excuse of enabling two-factor authentication. My dad is a cybersecurity enthusiast so he'll agree. Once I'm on my own I'll learn how to actually live, and once I start earning I won't need to appease them. Of course, I will gradually return the money for college and will support them as a son should - but from a distance. I really don't want to live with them for the rest of my life, they'll make my life horrible with their incessant squabbles.
Also there's the problem of marriage - I don't want to have an arranged marriage, I want to have a proper dating and courtship period like normal people. But my parents are stuck in the ancient systems of them introducing girls to me and me just agreeing or disagreeing in basically a handul of meetings. But that's no way to find the love of your life, the person you'll literally have to commit to forever! My parents had an arranged marriage and agreed just because their parents said so - they didn't even meet each other. Look how that turned out - my dad had skills but little ambition so he's now stuck at a job he hates, delaying his retirements until I start earning. My mom is full of ambition but left her job to look after me (not under pressure of my father, but under pressure of her own preconceived societal notions) and now can't even find a job in a place like this. My parents are really mismatched in my opinion, but they've grown to care for each other so I guess opposites attract? Idk, they've never shown any affection to each other ever. Like they never hold hands or hug or kiss or anything, it seems like they're roommates. To me it seems like they just have platonic love. I don't want a marriage like that - I want to find someone I truly care about, who I look at and my heart melts every day, someone who drives me to become the best version of myself so I can make her happier. Not someone who my parents deemed "of the appropriate caste, appropriate horoscope, appropriate job and salary, and appropriate appearance - good job, you found a wife." My parents and I did discuss how my marriage will occur briefly, but we haven't come to a conclusion. I wasn't firm in my beliefs to not put them off so we didn't really conclude.
So what do I do? I really don't want to cut them off - we did have our moments, like my dad and I climbing Mt Kilimanjaro to celebrate my 18th birthday (my mom yelled at us both when we came back - saying I didn't know if my only son was even alive when he turned 18 due to network, how dare you etc etc). But anyway we did have our moments and I do love and care for them deeply. But I need room to spread my wings and find myself, and they seem determined to trap me in worse and worse ways. To some they might seem narcissistic, but then why are they supporting me with my Cambridge fees and encouraging me to take on the world? To some they might seem encouraging but then why did my mom say that if I need to abandon my future business just so I have the means to support them "when" they move in with me (it's a fact of life according to them)? And why is my dad always switching quietly enabling her, supporting me, yelling at me, yelling at her, and doing nothing? I'm really confused. I need help to understand how I should approach this situation. All I know is I can't clear the air before I can stand on my own feet, because they will cut off my funding. So what and when and how do I do? Please help. (Burner account so they can't find me - and they're never on Reddit anyway :D)

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I started a new job 2 months ago at a large chain sporting goods store and it’s honestly been one of the worst jobs I’ve ever had.
Their policy is that if you work less than an 8 hour shift, you only get a 10 minute break. I was told during my interview that it was a part time position, no more than 25 hours a week. But I’ve been consistently getting scheduled for 35-39 hours, with 7.5 hour shifts. So that’s just a hair under full time, on my feet on concrete floors, with no legitimate breaks. 10 minutes is barely enough time to take a piss and scarf down a protein bar.
They’re also really strict about the cashiers (me) not being allowed to have any kind of beverage with them at the register. But the cashiers also aren’t allowed to leave the register. I was told that i have to keep my water bottle in the break room and if I needed a drink, I have to page another employee to come cover the register while I’m gone. Which is proving to be a problem because most of the other employees will either not answer pages or if they do finally come up to cover me, they’re rolling their eyes, sighing, telling me to hurry up and just generally having an attitude about it.
There’s no panic button at the registers or protocol in place for if someone tries to rob the store. I live in a small town so I didn’t anticipate this being much of an issue until the other day when a guy came in acting extremely sketchy. I brought it up to the store manager and asked her what I’m supposed to do in that situation and she laughed at me and said “you’ll be fine”.
Also, the few times that I’ve worked the sales floor instead of the register, I’ve listened to most of the other employees complain about the person on the register asking for their break or to go to the restroom, purposely making them wait and laughing about it, and then talking shit about them.
So basically, I’m leaving every shift exhausted, dehydrated, and in pain. Being stuck at that register for 7.5 hours straight and not being able to sit down or take a drink and having to hold my bladder for hours feels like torture. It’s taking a big toll on my physical and mental health. And I only make $10/hr. with no benefits. Maybe I’m just being a big baby about it but I’m seriously debating no call no showing.
Editing to add that the manager made a big deal during my interview about how she “always puts the schedule out 2 weeks in advance” but I’ve never seen it come out more than 3 days in advance. Which has made it nearly impossible to plan anything in my life ahead of time.

In 2017 I was forced to resign from my position as the Lead Teacher for an Autism program within a district. I was sought after to create an Autism program within a public high school setting. It was a job I had spent years dreaming of. I created the program and my students were thriving more than ever before, but my coworkers and administrators found every reason to belittle me. Ultimately I was told I cared too much, that I cared too much about my students and was willing to jeopardize my job for the sake of my students. They weren’t wrong. As a special education teacher my students’ needs came first, that is why I became a teacher afterall. Ultimately, the district was aware that I suffered from major depression and anxiety and they requested I get a psych evaluation done to see if I was fit to work with students. It was done with their psych of choosing of course and it was determined that I “lacked interpersonal relationship skills” and it would be best if I resigned. Of course I didn’t have to resign because they weren’t firing me and it was on grounds that they couldn’t fire me on anyway, but by that point I was so uncomfortable and afraid to go to work I had become a hermit.
I had a one year old son and almost never left the house. My identity was stripped of me. I did try to go back to work in other school settings. I worked at two private schools and one public school. No matter how hard I tried my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I lived in constant fear that if I helped a student I would be ridiculed again and have to leave another job. At the first job I took I was in a private school setting and because I worked with severely disabled children who could be aggressive I managed to receive three concussions in less than a 2 month period of time. This led to me not being able to work in that environment and I moved on to an alternative school within a district setting where students who couldn’t be within the public school setting could still have access to the public school environment. That job was a very thankless disheartening job as the parents blamed the staff for everything and the students didn’t want to be helped. For someone like me it was emotionally taxing and I went home crying daily. At that point I had a two year old son that was beginning to show signs of having Autism. Life was sure throwing me some curve balls. I moved onto another private school job by January of 2019 only to get hit in the head twice more. The neurologist told me at that point that one more bad hit to my head could leave me a vegetable, but I didn’t want to give up. I was the breadwinner in our home. I carried a lot of the weight of our household and had for years.
It became more apparent that my own son was Autistic and I had begun having multiple panic attacks daily as well as would hide in my bedroom and sleep all the time when my husband was home. I ended up having a complete nervous breakdown and ended up hospitalized. My doctors decided due to my mental health I was no longer able to work. This rocked my world. I didn’t know how to do anything but be a teacher. Filing for social security disability was a nightmare and it took me two years to finally get it. By the time I got it my marriage had fallen apart, my son was diagnosed with Autism and while trying to get treatment for my own issues we were in so much debt from not having two incomes.
On January 4, 2022, I tried to end my life. I ate castor beans. By the grace of God there was a former army medic on staff and she saved my life. Her name is Hope and I will forever be grateful to her. After I came home from treatment we did the best to pretend everything was alright but my marriage was broken. I was the only one fighting to hold it together. My mental health tore us apart, our son’s autism diagnosis and doing everything possible for his best interests led to us not communicating and becoming roommates. Last year I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I told my husband we were over but I wanted to try to live as roommates because it was best financially and I thought it was best for our son. By September of 2023 I relived it wasn’t best for anyone. My mental health took a drastic decline again and I ended up in a residential treatment facility. It was the most difficult 32 days of my life. It was the first time in my sons’s life I wasn’t there everyday. I missed his first day of second grade, I missed picture day. Debt piled up again. We were drowning. When I got home I had set firm boundaries to protect myself and we agreed that after the holidays my husband would move out. Fast forward to now. It’s just my son and I. My ex sees him twice a week and helps financially when he can. Unfortunately living in the great state of NJ where the cost of living is expensive and getting financial assistance is near impossible. I’m in that place where on paper it looks like I have enough disability and child support come in so I’m not eligible for any assistance. Reality though is I can’t put food on the table. Most days I’m having to choose between a bill to see a dr. I had a hysterectomy last November and have had severe sciatica since. I’ve been to multiple doctors with no relief and every day I fear I’m going to no longer have function of my right leg/ foot. My mental health is beginning to suffer again. I can feel myself slipping backwards and I’m so afraid I won’t be able to recover this time.
I’m behind on all of my bills, household and medical. I still have 3 totes full of paperwork I haven’t even gotten a chance to look at. Collection agencies call all day long. My son needs in home therapy again but I can’t afford it and our insurance doesn’t cover it.
I’m drowning and feel like I’m stuck out in the ocean about to sink to the bottom. I question everyday if I have any fight left in me. I’m trying to do what’s best for myself and my son. I’m resorting to this, to asking strangers for help because I am honestly ashamed and have exhausted asking family and friends for help.
If you’ve read all of this I greatly appreciate you. It means the world to me that you even care enough to have read all of this. I truly hope that you can find it in your heart to help in any way possible. If you are able to help in anyway possible please send me a message. I’m more than willing to answer any questions
Thank you in advance for all the kindness and support.
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i Joined in service based company as a fresher in Aug 2022. first 3 months went for training.. I got 3 opportunites from month Nov(2022)-April ( 2023 ) . I had to accept that i didnot perform well in 2 interviews.. in 3rd interview eventhough interview went very well , they said they were looking for experienced folks , so ultimately i got rejected .. after that what happened i dont know, my profile is not getting shared and i was not getting any opportunity.. I had contacted hr, manager.. they will say dont worry you are profile will be shared but after that, my profile got shared but i was not getting oppurtunity for interview... this entire thing took place untill feb 2024. in feb month i got resignation letter .. Previously I had done as 6 month sde intern at one of Big4 pbc. I had done many mistakes like i utilized the free time(during bench period) for building startup ( saas product) which ultimately failed and did not tried for other jobs etc
I had good knowledge in DSA, Mern stack. Tbh, I am really in depressed mode, I had worked alot of time, grinding leetcode for more than 2 years but i am nowhere now and financial situation in my home also not good.. i have to get job asap, I had started interview preparation since 3-4 months , started applying for jobs(more than 200 applications ) having work experience(<2 yrs) but even my resume is not getting shortlisted ... I got suggestion from my friend that my work experience at Prev Company( Service based) is not good...
I faked some experience( like i had built some features in frontend app using react blah blah..) i had nothing to write because i am on bench, i had done nothing in that service based company. what should I write as work experience . and i have doubt is it legal to write in this manner... i have knowledge of web development.. so if anything asked in interview also , i can manage to answer... please can you guys help me what to do now..?

Hello. I managed to get my song in placed/synced in The Walking Dead a few years ago. If you are wondering how I did that, please skip this post.
This post is in 'my view' on what I perceived at the time as a CRAPPY aspect of my wonderful opportunity. It's in regards to how much I ended up making from the deal. If you are wondering how much I was paid, please skip this post.
You may find yourself doing this: In the mad scramble to accommodate the music supervisor's request, I did (probably) what most of you may do(or have done): I scoured the internet for answers.
At first I couldn't find solid answers. I wanted to do it myself, but the TWD supervisor basically said that I can't do it myself, insinuating that they would rather find another artist who could comply more 'legally' (as I'm sure is the case with other big productions). I dropped my DIY approach there, and continued to search. I thought about joining an org like Songwriters Guild of America. I read around BMI's resources and others. I made some calls to entertainment lawyers, who all felt like snake oil salesmen on the phone - not willing to get to their cost upfront - asking me how much I was gonna be offered by the production - basically insinuating that they alone would be responsible for 'getting me the deal' that I already had in my hands. I wanted just the legal stuff taken care of at the base level. I didn't want to negotiate more than I was offered because hey, it's TWD. The payment is mostly in publicity for me. I needed a fairly quick solution to this and took 48 hours to poke around and learn about my rights and high/low figures.
What I learned was SHOCKING to me at the time.
All the options I found in my quest were either unclear or outrageous (in my mind). What was being floated as a 'reasonable' percentage of my total payout seemed to me like a 'reward for the non-involved', especially since I garnered the deal on my own - pulling 100% of the weight.
I went with TuneCore's Licensing option. I went with TuneCore (my digital distributer) at the time. They offer sync licensing feature you can sign up for. The entire time I felt like I was getting fleeced, not by TuneCore, but by the system. I never found better options in my quest. To this day, I feel like I messed up.
TWD was totally fair, so my feelings are not to do with them. The supervisor was honest and forthright. It was this interim step that I never even considered.
My question for you is: WHAT PERCENTAGE do you think is REASONABLE?

EDIT: Some things I learned from this experience:

• There are more INCORRECT assumptions (by the public and artists alike) about sync licensing than there are correct ones.
• I'm glad I made lyric free stems of my song after the mix (long before) as the editor of the show cut up my layers a lot - removing a lot of material - looping a guitar riff - to make it work in the scene. The effect was, the song was poured into the cracks between the dialogue and my lyrics played a large part of the scene. The song that ended up in the show is a lot different than my original, but literally NO ONE has ever said anything to me about it.
• Being a musician who is easier to work with in the timely completion of the the licensing process by the supervisor may have been more important than the quality of my song to begin with.
• The prestige of having a song in a well known show changed the way people considered my music, and was perhaps the most radical shift - "oh he just makes songs" to "he's a pro".
• The money that I made had already been spent long before. Don't count me as ungrateful.
• A few other shockers ensued, but over all, the experience singed my optimism.

This Is my first ever reddit post, and maybe my only one. I 25/M and my Girlfriend 24/F have been together for 6 years and living together for about 3 or 4. At thr beginning it was tough hut we managed to keep it pretty ok. At the end of 2019 she decided to go to college and get a Degree, and I supported her as best as I could. She even got a part time job and helped out with the finances, I handling most of them. After a year or two there's been a steady decline in my metal health due to my previous job being overly toxic and physically challenging, I wasn't sleeping right, we were told we were the best team and then not a day later that our boss wanted to fire us all and just replace us, this was a constant occurance. My mental health decline and I started stress therapy and such, with my girlfriends help. That started around 2020, and we were happy. Soon not long after she got the part time job, my girlfriend quit it due to the toxic environment there, it was pretty much a waitressing job and they paid her minimum tip wage. I was ok with it, as she was having anxiety attacks and such about it. I would do my best from here to support her, and she decided she would focus on school more and I again was ok with it, I was making enough money and finances were not a big issue in the house, and when she got her refunds from school she would help out here and there. Afterwards, I started noticing that we were both slacking in chores at home and we needed to keep the place clean so our Landlord, who has been a very kind woman, but a little strict on cleanliness, would not evict us, even though she hasn't done an inspection herself since the very beginning. I talk to my girlfriend and we tried to work out how to get stuff done, and let me preface this that by no means did I want her to do all the work, but she was home more and I asked if she could atleaat handle the dishes and I handle pickup up any trash around the house. And this worked for about a month. I still ended up doing the dishes here and there, but I then began to do them more frequently. To avoid doing dishes though, she would want to purchase plastic ware, which is fine and ever now and then we did but dishes still would begin to pile up. We'll because of my decline mental health I began to slack, and it came to a head last year in 2023, when I had such a bad panic attack, that I thought I was having a heart attack, I had chest pains for 4 hours and had to go to the hospital. I was fine and only spent 3 hours there. I had thoughts of suicide and many other mental problems and I couldn't take the job anymore. I was searching and searching and thanks to a friend I got a much better job with pay and better benefits. I even started seeing a psychiatrist and started back on ADHD medication, and all this time I had the support of my girlfriend but at home... nothing would get done. When I got home, she would usually be on the couch, on TikTok or Facebook. I started having to do more and more stuff at home while also working, and if I asked her "Hey can you handle these few things for the house while I'm at work since your home with no classes today?" I would come home to her still being on the couch, and if I sighed and let it be and I started doing the chore I had asked her to do, she would get upset with me. She kept telling me that she doesn't know why she doesn't do anything, how she has bad anxiety, and it is bad, how she's depressed and she can't afford to go to her therapist, and I've offered to pay for her stuff when I can but she doesn't make an appointment. I try my best to endure and let her rest, I tried talking to her, and yes we have had fights aswell, because I feel at this point and time that I'm the only one doing anything to take care of the house, and when I talk to her about it she apologizes constantly and says she will do better, and then I end up feeling like a huge asshole if we had fought, and it wouldn't do anything, she would be back on her phone the next day, and sometimes when I got home she would be just starting the chore... and then give up 30 mins in having to always take a break and never finish. Don't get me wrong, there were times when she did complete the chore, or she did a good bit and I would take over to be fair to her. It's not that I want her to do everything, I have my problems, I leave stuff out to, and wait last minute to clean up my trash, but I atleast clean it up. She will eat and then leave a dish where it was until I got home the next day and picked it up to put into the dishes myself. When I come home she's always just there on the couch, and she would procratsinate doing her homework too. An example would be she would wait until the night it's due, panic around 8pm, it being due either tomorrow morning or at 11:59 that night. I would calm her, but in my stupidity after multiple times, I have chastised her about constantly doing this to herself. Well she graduated Cum Laude recently, so she did good enough and kept her grades up. And now we come to recently. Starting in the beginning of May 2024, I woke up one morning to feel, indifferent. I didnt feel anything. And I knew it was a depression episode. That same week she graduated and I bought a second vehicle, which we are having seperate issues with the previous owner about, kinda as a gift but also because she had been telling me she feels trapped due to her not having a vehicle and having to rely on people for rides, mainly her dad, a completely different problem, not a bad guy, but not the best guy either. I didn't want her to feel trapped. We bought the vehicle and right now we can't really drive it due to needing to get the title so we can get the tag. And whenever I get a call from the previous owner or find out a single thing about the jeep she starts panicking, freaking out and I would calm her but... I also wouldn't sometimes because most of the time the problem is very trivial, like we found out there was a lien, but the lien was from when the previous owner had bought the jeep from a friend, so it was a personal lean and she had proof she had paid it off and just never had the title fixed. But during this time, my depression got worse, and worse, and worse. When I would come home, I couldn't feel anything. There was one day on my way home that as I was driving in silence, my eyes began to slowly close, like I was a little sleepy but I wasn't trying to sleep, I guess my best explanation would be Road Hynosis, which is where the constant driving of a road and the focusing on it can cause delirium, unattentiveness, and almost block out your senses, it's a strange phenomenon that I only experienced this one time. I pulled onto my road way too fast and thankfully was okay, it shook me out of it. But I got home and I felt nothing still. I felt a pit in me just there. I don't believe it was my meds, though they can cause depression, but this feeling started before I had taken my meds on the first day. Well my gf graduated Saturday, we had a party and I faked a lot of smiling because I wanted her to be happy, and her dad ended up ruining that day, that's another story. After that day she was very adamant on wanting to get the jeep ready and I did my best to do so. I got insurance and out her on mine. But we still are waiting for the title. We now come to recent events. After the first week of the Depression episode, I did feel better and by the end of the work day on a Friday I was pumped up. I was happy, and probably a little crazy but it was great to feel something again, and my job was what made me feel better. I went home and the weekend went by, my mom had come by tl help us clean the house. We did pretty ok. But after that weekend the depression returned and hit worse. I started not eating as much, and I started feeling like nothing mattered anymore, and as I write this the, the suicidal thoughts started back again a day ago, and I told my girlfriend about it the first time. But the house has come undone again, and I am still trying to keep it maintained, but all I want to do is climb in bed and sometimes hope I don't wake up, I think it's thr house, I am usually fine at work. Well my girlfriend still hasn't changed since ahe graduated and she is looking for a job but... only in her area of her degree, which is fine, I want her to succeed but... I asked her to try to get another job in the meantime while she waits for those others to respond. She was upset with me, believing she it would be a waste of her degree, and I told her it wouldn't be if it's temporary to just help is get by, because my job has a wierd pay schedule and it would help us better than care of the house, maybe higher an Exterminator to fumigate the house. She did relent a little and did broaden her search and that made me feel a little more at ease. And I did ask her to try to take care of the house a little since she would be home, and still nothing gets done. My question I guess to boil this down is, is this relationship worth saving, or tryung to salvage, I asked some people and most opinions have been that my girlfriend needs to grow up, but that's not the right mentality for someone with her anxiety problems. I just don't know what I can do anymore, I feel trapped, I'm writing this at 3am in the morning because I feel terrible and don't know where to start. I have tried talking to her, begging her, to please be better and she doesn't change. I can't handle everything at home anymore, especially now that I'm back in the heat of summer in a warehouse. My trucks water pump just went out, so I used the jeep for two days and now I need a ride because one of the brakes decided to lock up. I'm falling apart and I'm wondering if maybe, I need to do better. I don't want to say my girlfriend is a bad person, she's not, but she acts like a child sometimes, and is always on the verge of being upset at a pin drop over trivial matters. She's supposed to be taking meds too for all of her problems and she refuses to remember to take them. I just don't know if this relationship can go any longer or if my depression episode is clouding my judgement. And with my adhd, it feels better to actually talk through my problem with someone, but I want this to be somewhat anonymous so I came here to reddit. I'm doing my best to get to my next psychiatrist appointment and discuss this with her too. If I'm in the wrong here I want to better myself, I want to make an effort to be a better person, I just don't feel like I have the strength anymore to go on though.
Edit: If this is at all biased, since I am only writing my perspective, I will do my best to answer any questions on her unbiased.

Enhancing Chatbot Interactions with AI-Driven Natural Language Understanding

Introduction

In today's digital age, chatbots have become essential tools for businesses across various industries. They provide instant customer support, streamline services, and enhance user experiences. The backbone of effective chatbot interactions is Artificial Intelligence (AI)-driven Natural Language Understanding (NLU).
This technology allows chatbots to comprehend and respond to user inputs in a human-like manner.
Let's explore how AI-driven NLU enhances chatbot interactions.

Understanding AI-Driven Natural Language Understanding (NLU)

Natural Language Understanding (NLU) is a subset of Natural Language Processing (NLP) that focuses on the machine's ability to understand and interpret human language. NLU goes beyond mere keyword recognition; it involves grasping context, intent, sentiment, and nuances of human communication. AI-driven NLU leverages machine learning algorithms and large datasets to continuously improve its understanding capabilities.

The Evolution of Chatbot Technology

Chatbots have come a long way from simple scripted responses. Early chatbots relied on predefined scripts and keywords, leading to limited and often frustrating interactions. With advancements in AI and NLU, modern chatbots can engage in more natural and meaningful conversations. They can understand context, interpret user intent, and generate appropriate responses, making interactions smoother and more productive.

The Role of NLU in Enhancing Chatbot Interactions

NLU plays a crucial role in making chatbots more effective and user-friendly. By understanding the user's language and intent, NLU enables chatbots to provide accurate and relevant responses. This ability to comprehend and respond like a human makes the interaction more engaging and satisfactory for users.

Advantages of AI-Driven NLU in Chatbots

Improved Context Understanding

AI-driven NLU allows chatbots to grasp the context of a conversation. For example, if a user says, "I need help with my order," the chatbot understands that the user is likely seeking customer service related to a purchase. This contextual understanding enables the chatbot to provide relevant assistance without requiring the user to provide excessive details.

Enhanced User Intent Recognition

Recognizing user intent is a critical aspect of chatbot interactions. AI-driven NLU can accurately determine what the user wants, even if the request is phrased differently. Whether a user says, "I want to book a flight" or "Can you help me find a flight?" the chatbot understands the intent and can offer appropriate options.

Better Response Generation

With advanced NLU, chatbots can generate more natural and coherent responses. They can formulate answers that are contextually appropriate and linguistically accurate. This ability to craft meaningful replies enhances the overall user experience, making the interaction feel more conversational and less robotic.

Multilingual Support

AI-driven NLU can support multiple languages, allowing businesses to cater to a global audience. By understanding and responding in various languages, chatbots can provide seamless customer service to users from different linguistic backgrounds. This multilingual capability is essential for companies operating in international markets.

Personalization and User Engagement

Personalization is a significant benefit of AI-driven NLU. Chatbots can use data from previous interactions to tailor responses and recommendations to individual users. This personalized approach makes users feel valued and understood, increasing their engagement and satisfaction.

Reduced Error Rates

Traditional chatbots often struggle with understanding complex queries, leading to high error rates. AI-driven NLU minimizes these errors by accurately interpreting user inputs and providing precise responses. This reduction in errors improves the reliability and effectiveness of chatbot interactions.

Seamless Integration with Other Systems

AI-driven NLU allows chatbots to integrate seamlessly with other systems, such as CRM software, databases, and third-party applications. This integration enables chatbots to access and retrieve relevant information quickly, providing users with accurate and timely responses.

Case Studies of Effective AI-Driven NLU Chatbots

Customer Service

Many companies use AI-driven NLU chatbots to handle customer service inquiries. These chatbots can resolve common issues, answer FAQs, and escalate complex problems to human agents. For instance, a telecom company might use a chatbot to help customers troubleshoot internet connectivity issues.

E-commerce

E-commerce platforms leverage NLU chatbots to assist users with product searches, order tracking, and personalized recommendations. For example, an online retailer's chatbot can suggest products based on the user's browsing history and preferences.

Healthcare

In healthcare, AI-driven NLU chatbots provide valuable support by answering patient queries, scheduling appointments, and offering basic medical advice. These chatbots help healthcare providers manage patient interactions more efficiently and improve accessibility to services.

Banking and Finance

Banks and financial institutions use NLU chatbots to handle customer inquiries, provide account information, and assist with transactions. A bank's chatbot can guide users through the process of transferring funds or applying for a loan, enhancing the overall customer experience.

Challenges and Considerations in Implementing NLU

While AI-driven NLU offers numerous benefits, there are challenges to consider. Ensuring data privacy and security is paramount, as chatbots often handle sensitive information. Additionally, developing and maintaining NLU models requires significant investment and expertise. Businesses must also be prepared to address potential biases in AI algorithms and ensure their chatbots are inclusive and fair.

Future Trends in AI-Driven NLU for Chatbots

The future of AI-driven NLU in chatbots looks promising. We can expect continued advancements in machine learning algorithms, enabling even more accurate and nuanced understanding of human language. Additionally, the integration of NLU with other emerging technologies, such as voice recognition and augmented reality, will further enhance chatbot interactions. These developments will enable businesses to offer even more sophisticated and engaging customer experiences.

Conclusion

AI-driven Natural Language Understanding is revolutionizing chatbot interactions. By enabling chatbots to understand and interpret human language accurately, NLU enhances the quality of customer service, improves user engagement, and drives business efficiency.
As technology continues to evolve, the role of AI-driven NLU in chatbot interactions will become increasingly significant, offering new opportunities for businesses to connect with their customers in meaningful ways.
For more insights into AIM[L](mailto:contact@htree.plus) [a](mailto:contact@htree.plus)n[d](mailto:contact@htree.plus) [D](mailto:contact@htree.plus)a[t](mailto:contact@htree.plus)a Science Development, please write to us at: [contact@fxis.ai](mailto:contact@fxis.ai)[](mailto:contact@htree.plus) [FxisAi](mailto:contact@fxis.ai)

AIChatbots #NaturalLanguageUnderstanding #CustomerSupport #AIInnovation #ChatbotRevolution

US House passes Financial Innovation and Technology for the 21st Century Act FIT21, moving toward finally establishing regulatory clarity for crypto assets in the united states, and paving the way for supportive stablecoin regulation. Blackrock, primarily asset manager of USDC stablecoin issuer Circle’s cash reserves, has quietly begun participating in Arbitrum governance toward bringing their USD Institutional Digital Liquidity Fund (BUIDL) onto Ethereum’s largest and most advanced layer 2 network. Arbitrum is currently leading DeFi innovation and adoption. Blackrock is the world's largest asset manager with in excess of $10 trillion in assets under management.
The community-led initiative Boop, aiming to put a spotlight on the DeFi possibilities available on Arbitrum, together with popular support from the Arbitrum foundation, is sponsoring CryptoCurrency today with a banner placement. Boop currently enjoys DeFi integrations with the options protocol Stryke, volatility farming protocol PeaPods, perpetuals protocol GammaSwap, and will soon be integrated into the automated liquidity management protocol Orange.

I've anecdotally heard often that, from a purely financial standpoint, it's best to 'die with a mortgage' here in CH. I've found a bit of time recently to update the calculator I made last year to account for some new added info. You can check out these new two fields at https://rentbuy.top:

• Interest rates differing over time
• Additional amortisation of the 1st mortgage (beyond the legal mandated amortisation of the 2nd mortgage within 15 years / before retirement age)

Both of these you'll find in the 'Mortgage Details' tab - you can custom adjust the rates over each 5 year period by directly editing the boxes, or use the buttons to input different scenarios (including historical Swiss mortgage interest rates assuming starting 1960, 1970, etc). Similarly, you can enter custom values at different points of the analysis to add extra amortisation of the 1st mortgage (the buttons will auto populate the fields with full 1st mortgage amortisation over a period of X years). As a final change, I also updated the Buying Costs / Renting Costs results pane to hopefully make the costs a little easier to compare 1:1.
So, what do the numbers say? Under many or arguably most scenarios for a first-time homebuyer, if expected investment returns even slightly outpace interest rates and property growth rates, there's no contest - additional amortisation is never financially worth it. You can see how "Net Cost, Buy" is in these scenarios only becoming more expensive with pretty much any value entered in any box for additional amortisation - the gains in "Net Proceeds, Buying" will in these scenarios never outweigh the additional recurring and opportunity costs associated with paying more to amortise the 1st mortgage.
However, there's another scenario to consider, again from a purely financial standpoint - the case of an older person or a more conservatively invested person who's looking to rent or buy, where returns dip down to 3% (a rough historical average for government bonds), prepopulated in this saved analysis (use the button on top left to save and share your own settings!): https://rentbuy.top/?id=1850071693043718
Yet even here, with the 'default values' of 2.5% mortgage interest rates, the net cost of buying still doesn't decrease with additional amortisation. Only when you enter higher interest rates, added to a lower investment rate of return, does the net cost of buying finally decrease with additional amortisation.
Interestingly enough, you can check the "Extra Income Tax Per Year" box to see the effect of more/less amortisation on taxes. This of course is often heavily cited as 'the' reason to not amortise - since you can use mortgage interest paid to 'offset' Eigenmietwert. However, the 'extra' taxes paid by amortising more per year are in most scenarios less than 15% of the total 'extra' cost per year of amortising more - the vast majority of extra cost comes simply from paying more amortisation, not from extra taxes, as some would have you believe!
This didn't make so much intuitive sense to me at first glance, until I considered a very important factor I was missing - mortgage interest doesn't compound (whereas investments do). If your grandparent bought a property in 1950 for 60,000 CHF, and continuously renewed the mortgage until 2024, even if the property sold for 1,000,000 CHF today, they'd only be paying interest on that 1st mortgage amount of 40,000 CHF! In simple terms, in the intervening 74 years, that 40,000 CHF would have grown a lot larger when invested, as opposed to paying down the mortgage.
As with any 'rent vs. buy' comparison anywhere in the world, there's many significant non-financial considerations - will you be more at ease mentally by paying down the mortgage? Will you actually invest any additional savings on net costs? It's hard to answer these types of questions, so at the very least, it's nice to see the numbers that correspond to the more concretely estimated possibilities.
As always, please feel free to comment or message me your feedback on the calculator or the analysis here!

I’m (35f) worried my directoboss (45m) is looking for ways to get me fired or throw me under the bus. Or make me look bad to save his own butt for whatever reason. Please help :( I can’t figure it out.
For context, most recently, I returned from PTO last week (for a wedding) and 2 days after returning I got sick really bad. (I’ve never been out sick) A lot of our team caught it actually. Today was my first day feeling 100%, I sorta tried to work through some of it but I was very foggy (I had test results proving my illness btw). So I’ve had 4 days in total since returning from PTO early last week.
For further context, my boss often cuts me off and doesn’t let me speak or finish, he’ll argue a point with me without clear justification, and he definitely gives my coworkecounterpart (27f) way more support. She even notices, we’ve talked about it. However our jobs serve different domains of our wider work.
Today he told me I’m letting things slip and laid into me quite a bit about it. At one point he mentioned he wants to give me more but is “concerned.” But he couldn’t articulate any clear missed deadlines or undesirable consequences. He also couldn’t answer me when I asked if he was only bringing this up due to my recent inability to tend to my workload due to being sick. I asked what his ideal best case scenario would have been for me in response to this, so I could have an expectation, and he didn’t have anything.
My coworker and I are pretty close. He is reasonable with her when she forgets small things, will even check in with her during the week on her task list, call to check up occasionally, as well as provide insight and his thoughts. He provides real guidance, positive reinforcement, even admits when he is wrong, with her (there is nothing romantic. Also, this woman is like a Disney princess, she can woo the hardest of hearts- I thought I was fairly charming with her it is a true talent) where as with me, he doesn’t do any of this.
In fact, I have reason to believe he’s unsure of his ability to guide me because our areas of expertise are quite different.
When he brought up things had been slipping I asked questions and explained a few things but mostly listened and thanked him for the feedback and being honest with me, I know managing people is hard because I’ve done it. Except, I try to empower and professionally connect with my team, with boundaries of course.
I’m truly not a difficult person to work with. I’m intelligent and good at my job. Not a genius but I contribute. Open to feedback. I’ve always been called a pleasure to work with, I’m still friends with a few old female bosses (some male bosses I’ve had issues with. I’m attractive but always appropriate (hate that I have to justify this), not awkward, relaxed, I get along well with male coworkers too, I work hard and stay late from time to time) if anything I’m a bit people please-y, and not quick to argue. I wish I were better at defending myself on the spot. If anything I’m “too nice,” but I do push back occasionally and articulate myself when I feel something is unfair.
A reminder- my coworker has seen the difference in treatment in actual meetings before. So I know I’m not crazy. I LIKE having a boss, I love my job and I WANT to learn.
How do I get this guy to back off? I’d love a boss who could actually teach me things even, but mostly I just want to keep my job and not be unfairly targeted.
Can I tell him or HR I feel like I’m being targeted or treated unfairly as a way to get him to back off? (I’m in CA state, at my company we have unlimited/flexible PTO)
Edit: Thank you for the advice, I will definitely consider it. I really don't want to look for a new job because my last job I got unexpectedly laid off after one year and was unemployed for 6 months and it really ruined me financially. I don't have parents nearby who could've helped or offer temporary living. Before that my job was for a year and a half. So I'm trying to do my best to have a solid couple years' run here, I took this job in the fall because I wanted to lay down roots and learn and grow. I love my coworkers otherwise, and I like my boss' boss a lot, I know she cares about helping people advance and grow. I know good jobs aren't easy to come by, but I will consider the advice of looking elsewhere :)

Remembering the movie Twister some 28 years after seeing it twice in the theater – not for the story but the vicarious experience of watching cinematic tornadoes rearrange the built environment.
These days, so many close-encounter videos of tornadoes-in-the-wild populate the internet that Twister-the-movie comes off as tame, timid even.
The tornadoes that ravaged Iowa yesterday – twenty were detected – favored windmills. All those windfarms that turn a tidy profit from spring storms like yesterday’s were suddenly running for their lives, as a tornado lifted a windmill off the ground, broke it in half across its knee, propeller blades shooting off in all directions.
I don’t really doubt the functionality of obsessive capital accumulation, but how do we rebuild windfarms and repopulate towns after destructive tornadoes pass through unless we let capital flow freely through the fields?
What if we do that before emergencies strike? Before the familiar hook appears on the Doppler weather radar?
In Greenfield, Iowa, yesterday, an EF3 tornado exploded all structures in its path from one end of that town of 2000 to the other – a town divided,
at least among those whose property survived, sides delimited by de-barked trees stripped of their branches. Even after the debris is cleared away, and a certain number of structures are rebuilt –
even if all the structures are rebuilt – the city will have a scar for the rest of its life, stories to tell to go along with it. That was yesterday,
and I picture first-responders passing the torch to second responders who start coordinating efforts to clean up and repair – how all that critical activity starts with a sensible and agreed-upon order that radiates
through governmental agencies, the banking sector, private contractors. The Greenfield people and those in surrounding counties will look out for each other more than usual for the rest of the year – this by virtue of having been visited by a spontaneous, uncompromising authority from above.
To Twister’s credit, the film attempts to address the tragic nature of life and death, how it torments, then challenges, which is when we become ever wiser or die fools.
We expect way too much from a spring popcorn flick if we expect Twister to provide a credible response to such a conceit, so instead it opts for reunification of the self – this, it proposes, is the likely outcome
of going all the way through an awareness of the hyperreal, depicted in the film by once-lovers turned upside down, side by side, staring at the untroubled blue sky.
This is what weather researchers believe exists inside a tornado, like the eye of a hurricane – hanging upside down in the eye of a cyclone,
not to be confused with cyclopes – or maybe do. Confuse the two! Lovers reunified in the upside down eye of a cyclopes, which inverted posture raises us above the sky, assigns us the existential task of comprehending the hyperreal by inverting parts of it, being thus inverted.
In the scene that immediately follows, the male lead and the female lead lay side by side, and he gropes her breasts. I don’t so much mean the one character gropes the other –
I mean, the one actor runs his hand across the breasts of his costar. They must have thought that was a funny take, those folks in the editing bay, when they cut the film,
but then they take it a step farther, announce their existential relief by pointing to a house left standing, a surviving family climbing out of a root cellar.
A different cut of the ending might have had the female lead go ungroped, and the two of them motion to the farmstead still there, say glumly: modernity – it remains with us –
get up, start assessing the damage. Whichever ending the film leaves us with, the message it delivers to itself arrives earlier, when the putative villains – rival storm chasers with a corporate sponsor –
are impaled by a transmission tower that shoots through the windshield of their SUV rolling down the road, which vehicle is then sucked up by the tornado, like the funnel has skewered them with a toothpick, then raises them to its lips before spitting them out in disgust, and they whistle to the ground, explode on impact, like something lifted from Star Wars.
Can that be accurate? What the fates think of corporate sponsorship? I take it to be a comment about rivalry generally, how films seem to require it, plus epic explosions, in order to be publically transmissible.
Poor Cary Elwes – gallant rogue to the princess bride turned sneering rival with a transmission tower thrust through his windshield. If the film is haunted by a tormented father –
I picture a studio executive who’s wondering where the money is going to come from for these splashy FX –
then it is debased a little later in the film by a big barrel of corporate sponsorship in the form of soft drink logos, which are thrust in front of us, fetishized, the whole cast giddy about handling the logos.
They didn’t really need the earlier dialogue about corporate sponsorship – they could have said of poor Cary Elwes – his parents are rich or he has family in the business or his wealth comes from drug dealing – whatever – but instead, the script forces us to self-hate by sneering at the thing the film is – nakedly corporately sponsored –
while also sneering at the audience for the deals the film had to strike to finance those magnificent digital tornadoes we all remember. You forced us to, the film contends, blaming us for watching it.
Follow the thread through yet another knot – collecting data is what drives the plot and which collected data signals triumph. Data to do what? Model tornadoes, which digital models fill the frames of Twister already.
It seeks what it already has – that’s the message. The plot flaunts its willingness to deceive as often as it desires to please. This gives us license to read more into the film than the film knows about itself,
such that the tormented father – poor Cary Elwes – seems to be adjacent to domestic violence, possibly sexual abuse, such that scenes of shrieking and running for one’s life are juxtaposed with scenes of mild domesticity and scripted chatter.
Then the tormented father plus family take a job as caretakers of a winter lodge, slowly go mad, before a tornado disintegrates them on a drive-in movie theater screen.
Then the tormented father, drunk again, chucks the bottle at the tornado, heads off to take a nap on the couch, and low and behold, the bottle never hits the ground.
Then the tormented father gropes his daughter’s breasts in celebration, feels blessed when the tornado leaves the household intact, the family unharmed.
Twister is filled with difficult narrative details like this, like the narrative is trying to stun us with its visuals while slipping strange messages into the back of our minds.
Biblical – I guess that’s what you’d call the aesthetic. Oh tormented father, why did you create such suffering in Greenfield?
A storm-chaser video shows the Greenfield tornado disintegrating a farmstead, tearing apart windmills. It is an extraordinary sight, the sort of image that suggests designs so much larger than we are.
A helical suction vortex, it’s called, and it has the shape of some special drill bit designed to cut through stone – that’s the thing that passed through the town of Greenfield. Locals say four people died.
A couple is interviewed. She describes running with her baby to a friend’s house that had a basement, covering up, praying for the first time in her life, but before she could utter the words dear lord, a staircase fell on top of her. She shielded her baby.
The husband is interviewed in the middle of a debris field that was his life’s possessions the day before. He says: This is everything I’ve ever had . . . years. But at the end of the day, as long as they’re okay, it’s garbage.
He is speaking from the perspective of the freed. Yes, he is devastated by what he lost, the fear of what more he could lose, but he is also freed. He can see that they were living in a debris field before the tornado arrived.
They will raise their daughter differently than if they hadn’t been hit by a tornado. They will teach her to resist the compulsive accumulation of capital, of possessions. She will become a nomad. She will walk around the country, discussing the nature of the good life, bringing about justice where she can.
The EF3 tornado that struck Greenfield would have been rotating at least 136mph, which is the threshold speed of an EF3. Tornadoes are rated by the damage they cause, which indicates wind speed.
Compare this to the EF5 that hit Joplin, Missouri, on this very day in 2011. Its rotational speed was estimated to be greater than 200mph, which is enough to devastate most everything in its path, except those structures designed to survive bomb blasts.
An EF5 tornado is an end-of-the-world sort of weather event – the built environment simply cannot account for the possibility of such stresses, and so urban landscapes and planned communities except their fate – if an EF5 appears, run for your lives.
The Joplin tornado appeared 17 minutes after a warning was issued, entered the city two minutes later, and grew to a mile in diameter.
The tornado was on the ground in Joplin for some portion of its total lifespan of 40 minutes, and in that time, damaged 8000 buildings, 4000 of which were destroyed, and killed 158 people, injuring more than a thousand others.
The Joplin tornado tossed heavy equipment hundreds of yards from job sites, lifted parking barricades out by the roots, scraped asphalt off the roads. Steel-framed buildings were twisted on their foundations, and brick and metal warehouses were wiped clean.
Those who survived describe it less like a tornado than a dark furious wall – that’s what they were seeking shelter from.
The most compelling portrait of this witness comes from Pizza Hut employee, Dan Fluhart, who recounts how his manager, Christopher Lucas, hustled the employees and the customers into the walk-in freezer for protection.
I’ve watched the interview again and again, first trying to imagine Dan’s state of mind mere days after his brush with death, then trying to imagine Christopher’s state of mind, with the tornado sirens going off, a building full of people, inside a window-rich structure bolted to a slab.
Dan says that Christopher hustled everyone into the walk-in freezer, and they waiting there in the dark who knows how long before people began to be ripped out of it by the tornado.
Christopher wrapped a cord around the inside handle of the door, then wrapped the other end around his arm and leaned way back, using his weight to try keep the door shut between themselves and certain death.
Tornadoes sound like freight trains when they get close, so imagine the loudest freight train of them all, a mile wide, traveling at more than 200mph. That was what they were trying to keep out of that walk-in freezer.
Then the Joplin EF5 tornado took that door off its hinges, taking Pizza Hut Manager Christopher Lucas with it, still holding onto the cord.
Dan says he tried to hang on to Christopher, but he slipped away. The rest of the structure came apart, but Dan and others survived.
We can prevaricate about whether Christopher’s sacrifice technically saved lives, though I’m willing to bestow hero status the moment he wrapped that cord around his arm. In the face of extraordinary danger, he died heroically.
When we try to redeem the suffering of the Joplin tornado, tornadoes of all kinds, I picture a park statue of Christopher in exactly that pose – the freezer door, the cord, his arm – his body dramatically posed to play tug-of-war with an EF5 tornado.
The Pizza Hut visor and uniform would be there, too – all part of the motif of the service class rushed to the front of the line when the time comes to square off against forces of nature, to hold the line against acts of god.
Would park goers want to be reminded of that sort of thing? Should heroic statues remind us of the world that is or the one we imagine?
Sure, pigeons would perch on Christopher, just as they do the statues of warriors on horseback and noble leaders gazing into the future. But that Pizza Hut manager who offered himself to the tornado before the others – maybe he would have found that funny.
Afterward: This metaphysical weather report was not compensated by Pizza Hut. The last time I ate Pizza Hut pizza, I was desperate. I thought it tasted predigested. I can easily imagine Pizza Hut pizza being more like a thick liquid than a triangular solid, like you could extrude another slice from the sorts of machines that serve fake ice cream, but it would be hot. Hot extruded pizza in a waffle cone, dripping down your chin – my impression of the brand.

We've been together for **2 and 3/4 years**, and it's been a journey of highs and lows. But lately, my 36M boyfriend's 28M persistent moodiness is pushing me to the brink—I find myself questioning the foundation of our entire relationship.
Just last week, an incident occurred that has since cast a shadow over us. He's retreated into a wall of silence, and I'm left feeling helpless. His emotional manipulation tactics have worn me down to the point where I'm beyond caring. If he's unwilling to communicate or move past this, what more can I say?
A recent event has particularly driven a wedge between us—his sense of entitlement over my belongings. We share a lot, but personal boundaries are crucial. His indecisiveness during a purchase meant he missed out, and then he expected me to make up for his lapse. I refused, and his persistence the next day only escalated my frustration. I've made it clear: my 'no' is final. I can't stand how he uses my possessions to curry favor with friends or for financial gain, especially when he's not lacking in means.
The burden of managing his insecurities and distrust in my decisions is becoming unbearable. I'm in need of a partner, not someone who depends on me for everything. I'm looking for a companion to navigate life with, not someone who requires constant oversight.
Coddling his emotions has become a draining task—one I never agreed to. Despite his privilege and ample resources, he chooses to dwell in self-pity, a direct result of his own decisions. His lack of a full-time job and selective engagement with life, only when it aligns with his wishes, is baffling. He doesn't seem to know what he wants, half-joking about being a sugar baby, yet he recoils at the first sign of responsibility.
What I long for is accountability. Attempts at honest conversation are met with immaturity or a lack of empathy. When I voice that I feel unheard, he withdraws even more. He's selectively deaf, only 'listening' when there's something effortless to gain. This one-sided dynamic is exhausting—I need someone who is ambitious and positive, someone resilient enough to recover from life's challenges. Unfortunately, he lacks these traits and has no desire to develop them.
I'm at a crossroads, unsure of how to bridge the gap between us. We live together, and with three months left on our lease, I'm struggling to find a way to reconnect. It feels like a constant tug-of-war: my frustration grows as he ignores my pleas to be heard, and he interprets my exasperation as meanness, which only causes him to shut down further.
Is it worth salvaging, or am I torturing myself thinking that he can change and I just need to wait long enough for him to want to?? 😩
**TL;DR:** After nearly three years together, I'm feeling overwhelmed by my boyfriend's moodiness and lack of ambition. His recent behavior, especially his entitlement to my belongings and inability to handle responsibilities, is straining our relationship. Despite our shared living situation, his emotional withdrawal and my need for a proactive partner are leading me to reconsider our future together.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_idkidkidk1
Friend’s sister (20’sF) was openly flirting with my husband (40M) in front of me (31F). I told her off publicly and now they want a public apology from me. What action should I take so that I don’t ruin my friendship?
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Thanks to u/_ThinkerBelle_ for suggesting this BoRU
Previous BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, sexual harassment, obsessive behavior, slander
Original Post March 12, 2024
I(31F) am close friends with Lisa (33F) we met at college, and became roommates and I love her to death. Lisa has a sister ‘Amy’ (20’s F) whom I’ve met occasionally in college but she was so young at that time we never really hung out.
Lisa had a bridal shower in February and I financially contributed to most of it since I wasn’t able to be there in person to help with the planning. I gave money to Amy to pay for everything, the decor, food and alcohol. I even paid for an overnight stay at a hotel for all 7 girls. I did all of this because I couldn’t make it to her bachelorette party the week before, I had also paid for the limo Amy wanted to host the party in. At the shower I saw Amy and she was gushing about how I had spent a lot of money on Lisa. I just said if it’s for Lisa I would have paid for anything. Amy was hinting that my job was paying so much money for me to spend on Lisa this much. I’m a new surgeon just graduated from residency, i got a pay bump but not a lot. I’m lucky because my husband is supporting me while I go through fellowship. My husband (40M) is a doctor too but so much more advanced in his career than me. For my wedding gift he paid off the remainder of my student loans. He is amazing and I am obsessed with him.
Wedding happened in March, my husband and I came for the wedding. Family and close friends were invited to Lisa’s parent’s place for dinner after. Amy was very handsy with my husband even during the wedding she was asking him about his job how smart he was to be working in the ICU how hot he was how he looks like a young Alain Delon bla bla. My husband was giving me signals to come to him and I did. This happened at least 2 more times. At Lisa’s parent’s, Amy was wrapping her arm around my husbands back and was serving him drinks and food. I told Lisa’s mom about how Amy’s making me and my husband very uncomfortable and her mom pulled her aside and told her off i think because she came out grumpy. She was still acting like a crazed teenager because when we wanted to leave she wouldn’t give my husband his jacket back to him and kept sniffing it. I had a feeling that she was drunk and completely out of it. My husband raised his voice and told her to stop messing around and give it to him. I yelled “can you stop being so difficult you’ve been shamelessly flirting with my husband in front of me the whole day give me the damn jacket and leave us alone”.
I got a text from Lisa’s mom demanding I publicly apologize to Amy as in post on social media a heartfelt apology because some of the guests heard me yell at her and thought I was overreacting and humiliated her.
Lisa is on my side and told me Amy has always had gold digging tendencies and that this isn’t the first time she’d done something like this. She flirted with her friend’s dad and their next door neighbour who is married when she thought that they were wealthy. Lisa said that she’ll handle it. I already felt so bad I ruined the last moments of her wedding day and now she has to deal with this. I’m ruminating on this a lot lately and wondering if I should apologize to Amy. I don’t want to but then again if I did, I would explain exactly what happened and how it merited my reaction to her. Though this might add fuel to the fire. There is so much drama right now and I want to preserve my friendship with Lisa.
TLDR: friend’s sister flirting with my husband, i ‘embarrassed’ her and now she wants a public apology. I’m thinking of doing it but detailing exactly what happened and might paint her in a bad light. But all this drama could cost my friendship with my friend.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
jamicam

Are the guests at the wedding also your Facebook friends? I don't understand how a public apology on social media would work in this case... I mean, I imagine the guests include aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc., of the family. Are they really going to see your FB apology?

OOP

Her mom wants me to tag her and Lisa so that their family can see it. I don’t even use facebook anymore but her family are still active on it.

jamicam

If you don't use FB then there's your answer.
Lisa said she'll handle it. I'd let this alone.

Update March 18, 2024
Keeping it as short as I can and typos galore cuz I’m oncall.
Previous post got so popular that Amy’s mom found it and texted me to take down (in all caps). I got around to read most of the comments a day after I posted when I finished my shift. I didn’t not apologize to anyone or did anything at all frankly I forgot about it since I had people close to dying on me left and right at work. I gaslit Amy’s mom into thinking that I never did such a thing and that I did not have a Reddit account (she believed it I think since she didn’t text me back, cmon the details I put in that post were exactly what she experienced and she didn’t find it odd?).
For clarification:

1. One of you said I had a spine of a jellyfish (loved that comment) and not apologizing was the right thing to do. I was hesitant and was actually considering giving that apology because of the fact that she fed me and let me stay in her home during thanksgiving and Christmas many years ago when I couldn’t go home to my family. I’m the kind of person who’ll remember every good thing you do for me and do my best to reciprocate or get even so as to not be indebted to you. Idk what kind of mental illness is that, I never retained much of the psychiatric info from medschool.
   
2. A lot of people insinuated that me being docile and restrained in those kinds of situations makes me a bad surgeon to which i say i beg your effing pardon. Would you want someone who’s operating on you have a criminal record for causing bodily harm/homicide? Also I’ve dealt with worse than Amy I’ve survived handling 19 psychotic patients with TBIs for a whole rotation. Me being aggressive would have gotten me kicked out of my fellowship.
   

Things that have transpired:

1. I tried to avoid contacting Lisa since she went off on her honeymoon but because of the popularity of my previous post I decided to give her a heads up. Lisa was more than apologetic, in fact she facetimed me and we had a very teary conversation about her family. There were a lot more going on that I never knew but mine and my husband’s involvement in her family drama was the last straw. She had decided to go no contact with her mom and sister. She also warned me that Amy might approach my husband in some way but no idea how. She’s also getting her extended family involved about Amy.
   
2. My husband does not have any social media (so hot) and he did not give out his number to anyone at all during the wedding. He is anal about loyalty and transparency in our marriage. We have access to each other’s electronics. I know he would never cheat on me. 3 days ago someone called my husband’s clinic asking to get his number for an ‘emergency’ and that she needed to get a hold of his wife. The nurse who answered refused to give a physician’s personal number and the conversation got heated. My husband’s colleague, another intensivist, took over and asked her to tell him what the emergency was so that he could tell my husband himself. The person on the phone argued some more and when the doctor wouldn’t give she hung up. That friend told my husband what happened and said the woman didn’t give her name but had a very high pitched child-like voice. My husband immediately knew it was Amy but we have no proof. I know it was her, she must have searched my husband’s name on google and found where he worked since his professional profile is online along with the name of his hospital.
   

I’m getting more and more irritated by this whole thing and have gone full on mama bear mode over my husband. He was furiously annoyed after the wedding and was saying if the genders were switched he would have definitely gotten punched not even halfway through the wedding. My husband had terrible experiences with women before, two women at different times tried to baby trap him, one did some Sherlock level manipulation and one harassed us when we were dating. He is usually a cool and calm guy but now he hasn’t been smiling or joking around with me like he always does ever since the wedding.
Anywho, my uncle (our lawyer) was consulted, security at my husband’s dept and around our home have been notified. Thank you guys.
PS: Kelly if you’re reading this, do something about your younger daughter before something bad happens. Also you don’t deserve your older daughter.
Edit: a Moriarty level manipulation…now that makes more sense not sherlock tf
RELEVANT COMMENTS
I3ex_G

Damn, can your lawyer uncle draft a letter to scare Amy? Just outlining what she is doing is harassment and the outcome if she continues? Sounds like Amy might need mental help and threats of repercussions might force her mother’s hand to getting her help. Is the dad around? I hope other family members will start pressuring Amy to get help

OOP

Nope, we couldn’t prove it was Amy that called. We just have to wait and see if she does anything. Our only hope is that she stays broke and can’t afford to travel to where we live since it’s far from hers. Her dad’s dead. I hope so too.

~
procrastinating_b

Why’s everyone got an uncle lawyer lol

OOP

I’m half Asian. That uncle is Asian too. That should answer your question

Forsaken_Woodpecker1

I’m rolling this response is hilarious 🤣

NEW UPDATE

Update 2 - Final Update May 16, 2024
I’ll try and see if I can update on here since I cant update again on relationships advice. Posts are in my profile for now.
I’ve got so many dms wanting an update but some (legal things) happened since and I couldn’t tell especially since everyone that was involved knows about this post already.
We have the number of the woman who called but it wasn’t Amy’s number (I have her number) but she could’ve gotten another number. At that time, I was almost confident it was her so I got the name of the person the phone number was registered to. We’ll call her Cece Smith. What threw me off was this person had been using that number for 7 years BUT I later found out this woman lived/lives in the area Amy lives. I called Lisa to ask if she knew who Cece is and lo and behold Cece is Amy’s best friend. I told Lisa about the call to the clinic, she went silent, said she had to go and ended the call.
The next day (March 21st) Lisa texted me that she had gotten a verbal confession from Amy about the call to my husband’s clinic. Not only that, when everything happened right after the wedding, I had not blocked Amy from my instagram yet. She must have gone through my followers list and found my husband’s family, dm-ed them with ‘evidence’ that I was cheating on him. Wedding was on March 10th, the call was on March 15th, I blocked her March 16th. Some time after March 10th she had found and gotten in contact with my MIL, 2 SILs and my niece who is 13 years old about my ‘infidelity’. There were skeptical thank God and contacted my husband on March 23rd. I swear to god this girl is so stupid i dont get why she would waste her time on doing this and doing it very poorly at that. My SIL sent a screenshot of the chat from “mizz_(Amy’s real name)” to my husband and he wanted to throw his phone to the wall. Lisa sent me the recording of the entire call she had with Amy admitting to everything and some serious threats about what she would do to me. One of which that she was going to report me to my state medical board (no basis whatsoever like I said, she is an idiot, the premium kind).
We got in touch with my uncle (yes the lawyer who u guys were so baffled about seriously why is it so surprising that I have an uncle who’s a lawyer his wife is a lawyer and so is their daughter, they are a very righteous family idk what else to say), we sent a C&D letter telling Amy to not contact me, husband and in-laws and I let my chief of surgery and head of my program know about this just in case.
March 29th she really reported me to the medical board (it doesn’t have to be doctor-patient related, a doctor could be harassing someone in the grocery store and a witness can report that doctor to the board, THAT is the purpose of creating this avenue to complain) even though they were warned about this, they still had to do the preliminary investigations on me and interview me to hear my side. Major pain in the ass for me especially since I’m 5-months pregnant. The case on me is closed.
April 3rd Amy dm-ed my niece again with ‘new evidence’ of my infidelity. My sweet niece ran to her mom who told my husband and me. We got a court ordered restraining order against her now. When all of this happened, Lisa was helping me along the way, the cherry on top was when Lisa had access to Amy’s email and her instagram (she never logged out), posted how she tried to homewreck a marriage and outing Amy online with screen shots and snippets of the phone call. Lisa changed her password and Amy couldn’t log in to delete it. Lisa made this known to her entire family and they are putting pressure on her mom (hi Kelly) to rein her in. I dont know the specifics but they are using the family inheritance or some heirloom as a bargaining chip for her to behave good. The girl has some mental issues for sure would love to give her a lobotomy.
I hope to god this is the last of this and Amy stays away from us but I have this gnawing feeling that she’s going to try something again. Lisa is the hero in this honestly, she’ll continue to keep an eye out to see if Amy starts shit again (if she does Lisa’s going to hire a hitman so she says).
I dont even know how to TLDR this. Read it or don’t. I hope this is the final update. To the people who don’t believe this happened it did happen but since it’s so unreal, i don’t blame you.
Ps- husband and I are going to couples counseling together as per advised in the comments of the prior post. We are doing very well, he’s planning an intimate gender reveal soon for me (he knows the gender since he’s a trained sonographer lol).
If there’s any question I’ll be happy to answer. Will delete this account in a few days
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Made it through the long arduous process of applying and getting hired. Was happy to since it's a job I want badly. But, this new medical exam roll out is screwing me. Was told I couldn't get a medical appointment until November, luckily got it done in early April. Was called in mid May by Acuity and they said they missed some things on the exam and I was sent back in. One of the things missed was the color test (for color blindness) which I failed. I see color, just not perfect when reds and greens and other colors are right next to each other. I don't think it would impact me in any way in this job. I've reached out to Acuity, my supervisor, other friends in fire, my HR manager, etc. No one can tell me if this means I'm disqualified. My start date is in less than two weeks and I've moved to my location already. Any insight on this?
Also, I don't want to keep bothering my supervisor since I'm sure he's busy and he says that he doesn't know either, which I understand, but surely he knows someone who does know. I don't want to get off on the wrong foot with my supervisor, just want an answer so I can start looking for a job if need be. Is it appropriate to keep asking him?
TL;DR - the title.
Edit: I got hired on a type 2 WFM Edit 2: Ishahara tests for color blindness. I still see color, just not as well.