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When the button was pressed, Strechen wasn't sure what she expected.
The door pulling back and a ramp extending from the floor down to the deck of a massive flight bay was one of the possibilities, for sure.
The vast amounts of dropships and aerospace strikers as well as obvious torchships had been part of her expectation.
What was not was the two lines of Terrans drawn up, twenty to a side, on either side of a red fabric path that ended with what was one of the largest Terrans (not that she'd seen that many) that Strechen had ever seen.
The female Terran waved at the group to follow.
"The Final Sight of Black Night is a Knight Aesir colossus class warship in the Deireadh an Domhain classification," Caoimhe stated, her voice pitched to sound excited yet somehow calm at the same time. "Built from design phase up to support a full company of Ringbreaker Class warriors as well as the combat and logistics support personnel required for an effective military campaign. The Final Sight of Black Night can provide orbital fire support, establish control of a stellar system, as well as provide manufacturing, medical, and transportation services to a full brigade of Ringbreaker Knights should there be a need for such."
The Terran female walked them down the ramp, toward the two drawn up lines.
The Dra.Falten followed nervously. The humans were large, larger even than Magnus had been.
Strechen hadn't realized that even her unusual height made it so she only came up to the middle of the Terran's torso.
At first, as they moved slowly, tenatively through the corridor the two lines of Terrans made, Strechen thought that all the Terrans looked alike. They were all males, all in the same mottled gray, black, and white camouflage.
Then her brain began to sort out differences.
This one had blue eyes. This one green. This one gray. This one hazel. That one had larger ears, that one had smaller ears. That one had a larger wider nose. This one had a narrower longer nose. This one had a wider chin. That one had yellow-gold hair. This one had red hair. The facial features were slightly different. This one slightly taller, that one slightly broader, this one more muscular.
It helped, perhaps, that Dra.Falten males had little beyond fur pattern to distinguish themselves, which made her more sensitive to differences.
The two at the end, though, stood out.
The smaller of the two, twice the height of Strechen, was introduced as High Lord Captain High Lord Knight of Aesir O’Byrne. Leeu, the XO, Hrekkel, and herself were introduced by the female Terran Caoimhe. When Tawtchee was introduced as merely "Male-9912743" Strechen thought, for a second, that there was an aura of disgust from the two males.
It vanished before she could be sure it was anything but her imagination.
The second Terran male, larger than any others, was introduced as "Lord Knight Aesir Ringbreaker Naois", commander of primary ground forces.
When the word Ringbreaker was uttered, Strechen felt an odd chill run down her spine.
Something about it seemed to carry a weight, an odd feeling of history, that Strechen wasn't aware of but was being warned about.
Strechen largely held silent, standing next to Tawtchee, as Leeu, the former XO Commander Navelu'uee, and Expediter Leeu all spoke with the two Lord Knights.
Tawtchee was looking around the massive flight bay. Looking at the ships, at the vast tanks, pipes, conduits, cranes, gantries, and scaffolding.
Strechen didn't bother correcting him or telling him to pay attention.
He has survived impossible odds. If his instincts tell him to look about the room, then he should look about the room, she thought to herself.
"I am unfamiliar with what a 'Ringbreaker' is," Hrekkel was saying when Strechen returned her attention to the meeting of the defacto leaders of the Dra.Falten delegation.
"It will be explained in the briefing," the Lord Captain stated. He gave a subdued expression of pleasure. "We hope it will be illuminating. While normally our two species would meet through politicians and diplomats, with the Mar-gite swarming your systems, we don't have time for discussions on what the definition of 'is is' or any other such hair splitting."
Hrekkel nodded.
"Will the Mar-gite be explained to us?" Leeu asked.
The Lord Captain nodded. "The briefing will explain quite bit," he gave another expression of subdued pleasure. "While you are attending the briefing, we will prepare living quarters for you. Do you cohabitate, live in single person units? Should your quarters contain private bathing areas, private dining areas?"
Leeu put her hand on Hrekke's forearm.
"One living quarters for myself and my charge," she said. She pointed at the XO. "One for her," then turned to Strechen. "And you?"
"Adjoining," Strechen said.
The Lord Captain nodded.
"Private dining and bathing quarters, if that is possible," Leeu stated.
The Lord Captain nodded. "It is."
There was silence for a moment.
"If you will follow me, I will escort you through the mandatory medical examination, then the briefing," Caoimhe stated. "I have been assigned as your liaison, should you need anything, do not hesitate to ask."
Strechen had to admit the idea of medical examinations made her nervous as the small group followed Caoimhe through the ship's corridors.
Strechen noted how Tawtchee kept looking at everything and tried to emulate him.
The first thing was, she understood why the corridors were so wide. The Lord Knight Ringbreaker had been just over three meters tall and a meter wide. While the rest were at roughly two point five meters tall, all of them were large and bulky, even if they gave the impression of being short and squat.
Pipes and conduits were along the top of the passages, or at the bottom corners, or moving straight up the walls. Most of them had stencils that made no sense to Strechen, but she knew that they undoubtedly made sense to the Terran Damage Control personnel. There were stencils and pop-out holograms on the walls, the holograms all in red and silver.
Halfway to the medical checks she suddenly realized she could read the popup holograms. They were usually labels for what lay beyond doors, what section of the ship the group was in, what deck.
She quickly figured out that the ship was divided up into 'bulkhead' or 'frame' numbers and deck numbers, as well as compartment number and a letter designation. At one point she saw a wireframe and looked at it closely as she passed it. It was a navigation aid to assist someone in navigating the ship, using something called a 'bullseye' method.
Deck number, Frame/Bulkhead Number, compartment or passage's position relative to the 'center line' of the ship, then the compartment's function. Decks above the "Primary Deck" started with a zero, decks below the "Primary Deck" did not, signifying the difference between two decks above the primary deck (02) and two decks below (2).
It was oddly simple as Strechen thought about it. Simpler than her own people's method of naming twisting corridors and working from there. That made navigating each ship of the Dra.Falten Empire a unique task.
She nodded to herself as they slowed down and pressed against the wall so a work party carrying crates moved by.
She didn't know why, but part of her had expected the ship to be lit by candles and oil lamps, with the corridors dark and possibly made of wood. Instead, everything was brightly lit by ambient light as well as soft white light, the decks either brushed steel or painted. The ceiling was off-white, the walls were light gray, the floors dark gray. At first she wondered why, then realized that having different colors would help with navigation and orientation if the gravity gave out.
It made her brux her teeth thoughtfully as she considered the reasonings for it and how the Terrans might have decided to adopt such a simple system.
Finally they reached the medical center and Strechen was happy to see that her concerns of rusty saw blades, repurposed gardening implements, and long dull needles were just anxiety driven fears.
The medical center looked like any modern Dra.Falten medical center.
Except it was manned entirely by Terrans.
The expected invasive examination didn't happen. The Dra.Falten were asked to walk between two smartglass plates, then to inhale and exhale in a mask, then spit into a container.
They didn't even have to undress.
The small group had just finished when one of the Terrans came up.
"Who is responsible for... uh... Male-9912743," the male Terran asked.
Again, Strechen sensed a flash of disgust and wondered what was causing it.
"I am," Strechen said before any could answer.
"Are you authorized to be given medical information and make medical decisions upon his behalf?" the Terran asked.
"I am," Strechen said.
"I need to speak to Imperial Expediter First Class Ee'eerlee'u," another Terran said, waving from behind her desk.
"Can I speak to Senior Scientist Hrekkel?" another Terran asked from behind a desk.
"It appears they wish to discuss The Detainee's gifts to us," Hrekkel chuckled.
Leeu just nodded, bruxing her back teeth.
Strechen followed the male Terran, waving at Tawtchee to join her. She sat down with Tawtchee, facing the Terran.
"Do you consent to Field Captain Strechen being informed of medical information and making medical decisions on your behalf, Male-9912743?" the male Terran asked.
"I am," Tawtchee said.
"You may call him Tawtchee," Strechen said. She straightened up slightly. "I would prefer you did so."
The Terran nodded, seeming to relax slightly despite there being no outward physical change in his posture or expression.
"Tawtchee has undergone massive nanite medical reconstruction fairly recently," the Terran said. "They're old LARP world nanites, probably from an old World Engine, but whoever did the reconstruction did an excellent job," he brought up a wireframe of Tawtchee's body. "Additionally, there is scar tissue on his back that corresponds to a map," the Terran gave a grin. "A map to my people, to be exact."
Strechen nodded.
"Whoever did the nanotech medical liked you," the Terran said to Tawtchee. "They were also highly skilled. You showed signifigant wear on your joint cartilege, bone density depletion, partially treated old injuries, nerve damage, and other problems," the Terran looked at Strechen, his mouth tightening slightly. "Problems often associated with what we call 'short bake clones'."
Strechen frowned. "He was grown in a creche, but I do not think he is a clone," she said. "Almost all males are grown in creches."
The Terran nodded slowly, looking at Tawtchee. "The person who did your medical repairs was nice enough to leave standard Confederate Medical Coding on two of your cervical vertebrae."
"The Sorceress Surscee, Second Guardian of the Path of the Traveler," Tawtchee said, his voice quiet.
The Terran raised one eyebrow. "That explains it," he looked at Strechen. "Your own medical scans show no immediate needed treatment," he tapped his finger on the desk. "However, it appears you have a congenital heart defect in your genetic line. If you wish, we can give you an injection to repair that."
Strechen bruxed her back teeth and twitched her ears in agreement.
"I need you to state it verbally," the Terran said.
"I would appreciate such medical attention," Strechen said.
The Terran waved at another medical Terran, who came over, put a device against her arm, and triggered it. A cool feeling raced down her vein in her arm.
"Done," the Terran said.
"You know about Surscee?" Tawtchee asked.
The Terran stared for a moment then nodded. "Her mother, Lady Keena, was with our Second Founding Patron during the Assault on Afterlife. He spoke of Surscee's Matron several times in his recordings and writings."
"Ah," Strechen said, pretending that the simple explanation explained it all.
"It was good to meet you. With any luck, we will not meet outside of social interactions," the Terran said.
Strechen knew a dismissal when she heard it.
"And to you too," she said, getting up from the chair. She joined the former XO, standing by the wall.
Whatever the Terrans were discussing with Hrekkel and Leeu, it took long enough that the Terrans led the former XO, Tawtchee, and Strechen to some chairs in a comfortable waiting room.
"Sorry about that," Hrekkel said when they finally came into the waiting room.
Strechen kicked Tawtchee's foot to wake him up.
"The Detainee rebuilt us according to her whims," Leeu said softly. "More than we ever even suspected."
Hrekkel reached out and took Leeu's hand, rubbing it gently.
The Terran female, Caoimhe, then led them to a corridor that smelled faintly of fresh enamel. There were multiple doors off the short corridor, which terminated in heavy blast doors.
Strechen immediately noticed that the air felt oddly thinner. Not as in 'hard to breathe' thinner, but like it was missing something that Strechen hadn't been aware of.
"Your quarters are labeled. You also have a common room to meet," Caoimhe said. She gave one of the tight lipped smiles. "You are undoubtably fatigued and wish relaxation or rest periods to regain your strength."
Leeu nodded. "I thank you and please extend my gratitude to the Lord Captain."
"I shall," Caoimhe said. "Till we next meet."
With that, she left, leaving the five Dra.Falten standing in the hallway.
"Well, that felt rude," Commander Navelu'uee said. She looked at the doors. "Why just leave us here."
There was silence a moment.
"It's a test," Tawtchee said.
Strechen saw the XO hide her sneer.
"To see if we just stand here like dumb herbivore herd animals or if we show initiative and independent action," Tawtchee said.
Hrekkel just nodded, smiling and brushing his whiskers.
Tawtchee moved down the corridor, looking at the holograms that sprang from the doors above the yellow rectangles that contained writing.
"This one is mine," Tawtchee said. He pointed at the door a little further down the hall. "That one's Field Captain Strechen's," he pointed across. "That one is yours, Commander," he pointed at the one across from Strechen's. "That one is Hrekkel and Leeu's."
Before Strechen could say anything Tawtchee waved his hand in front of the hologram being projected over the yellow rectangle that had black runes inside of it, then vanished inside when the door opened.
Strechen followed, honestly not expecting much room. Her stateroom aboard the other ship had been lavish in regards to space.
She stopped and stared.
It was at least ten meters wide and fifteen meters deep. There was a comfortable looking couch, coffee table, a counter, a kitchen in the back, with two open doors, one leading to a lavish bedroom, the other to an equally lavish refreshing chamber.
The door in the middle of the unblemished wall opened and Tawtchee stood there.
"if these rooms and what we have seen so far doesn't scare you, Field Captain," Tawtchee said. He triggered the door and it slowly shut. He spoke right before the door shut.
"It should."
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Wow, gentlemen first and foremost. I appreciate you all so, SO MUCH. Please continue to share your thoughts and experiences with each other because that is why we are here.
Alright, let's dive into this. Particularly on the topic of marriage and how pornography and masturbation completely DESTROYS that relationship, and also (get that tinfoil hat ready) why after such relationship is destroyed most often times than not a woman will NEVER have those feelings/attraction to that individual ever AGAIN (Even after "therapy" sessions, communication, etc.) We will also cover, if it is beneficial to have sex with the significant other during this period of "recovery". Before we dive in, please let me know if an in depth explanation to what exactly happens and why women are instilled by nature to be that way in the first place would be helpful for you.
Okay, lets go.
How pornography use and masturbation DESTROYS marriages.
Most of you on here are already familiar to what happens to a brain that is NOT in a healthy desexualized state and how masturbation and porn use effects such a brain. If not please read this article here to catch up:
https://www.reddit.com/UltimateMan/comments/1d8bhm9/masturbation_lets_talk_about_it_trigger_warning/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Understanding that process is what will help us answer the following questions:
1.) Why does a marriage become a "disaster" after the significant other is starting to indulge in sexually explicit material ?
2.) Why through this process that individual starts to lose interest in their significant others and can only orgasm by watching pornography?
3.) Is the road to "cure" for these men longer?
and last but not least:
4.) Can that individual have sexual relations with his significant other during this period of "recovery"?
Let me know if I have missed anything u/osergiodecastro , let's go.
How a marriage becomes a DISASTER after a partner starts indulging in sexually explicit material.
Now that we understand what state a brain goes into when an individual starts indulging in pornographic material (You read the article previously mentioned, right?) Let's take a look at how this process DESTROYS relationships and marriages.
We know that when a brain starts perceiving the individual (since it does not have eyes) to be the Man of Men, a God walking on this earth that all these "hot, busty, prime" women want to be around and reproduced by, the brain then starts to not REWARD the individual when they are around "regular" people (including women). This is when the individual finds no interest in "basic, regular, common" looking individuals and does NOT respond to them sexually. This is due to the fact that the BRAIN thinks that those individuals are not worth the time and effort to reproduce since CLEARLY this guy is so above everyone else. (Following me so far?)
This causes disinterest of the "husband" towards his wife (or significant other) and that starts to create a gap between them that only becomes wider and wider and wider. A brain of a woman operates in a completely different way (believe me or not, I don't care, this is the TRUTH, and let me know if you would like for me to explain the difference between the two in the future.) A brain of a woman does NOT have a motive to self-improve in areas of life that increases her actual value in society like the brain of a man does (such as finances, living conditions, strength, leadership, etc.) Yet, on the other hand the APPROACH of the female brain differs widely when it comes to encouraging SURVIVAL and REPRODUCTION. Let's take a brief look (again let me know if you would like a more in depth look into this.) As in the man's brain, the way in encourages survival and reproduction is through physical strength, leadership skills, resources, ability to provide and protect, etc. In the woman's brain the same process applies more to the PHYSICAL and MENTAL attributes. Women do NOT have as high of testosterone levels as men (mostly, not a case for EVERY single woman, making that clear) yet they have much higher ESTROGEN levels than most men (again mostly, not a case for EVERY single man.) This causes the woman to be more aware psychologically and is able to pick up on mental weaknesses that help her DECIDE whether this "man" or individual is actually strong enough mentally and physically do be able to PROTECT her and her offspring from dying, remember when a woman is pregnant her ability to evade danger and be mobile is GREATLY undermined hence reducing her chances of surviving on her own (for an average of 9 months.) Hence you notice that women tend to "test" men not in regards to physical strength (even thought that is also VERY important), yet also on the mans MENTAL strength, making emotional and psychological intelligence very crucial to a mans overall skillset. Now, on the other hand a woman understands that a man first and foremost looks at her PHYSICAL attributes first, before deciding whether the woman is in a "prime" and healthy state to bear a child. This includes, larger breasts, telling men that this woman has a healthy nutritional ability to feed the offspring when it is born. Larger hips, telling men that this woman is able to carry a healthy child, and a "prettier" face, increasing the likelihood of a child taking on the genes of "beauty" and therefore having a higher chance of survival and reproduction. (Does that make sense?)
Okay, with that out of the way. When the significant other (in this case the husband) has a brain that now perceives that that individual is able to reproduce with "healthier" more "prime" women on the screen, it does not WANT to now reproduce with these "basic" and "regular" woman since it now believes that you can do "better". Hence now the husband has no interest in his wife/significant other.
Now, remember, when that individual decides to abstain from such explicit material and "return" to being able to pleasure his wife, the BRAIN now believes that something has happened to this man and is now PUNISHING him for "lowering" his sexual status (not being able to attract these prime, healthier women) making that individual feel worthless (this stacks with the withdrawal symptoms that this individual starts going through when the brain starts to "chisel" away at those overstimulation defense enzymes) and not be interested in ANY sexual activity and have ANY attraction to any other individual unless, (and here we go) UNLESS this man goes BACK to the "prime", "healthy", "hot" women that are on the screen. (Does that make sense?)
With that now clear, let's take a look if the road to a "cure" for these men is longer and if it beneficial to have sexual relations with his significant other during this period of "recovery."
Is the road to a cure for these men longer ?
In a short answer, no. The road to recovery for these men is not "longer". If that individual decides to COMPLETELY abstain from the artificial stimulation then the road to recovery would be the same as if this individual was married or single.
Yet, remember, when the brain start punishing this individual this man will not have any sexual desire to have sex with anyone (unless it is a screen) even his wife, and at the same time this individual has a build up of defensive enzymes in the brain that now he has to wait for the brain to start breaking down. It will take the SAME amount of time of recovery period to reverse this process.
Over time, when the brain starts allowing more of the dopamine receptors to start absorbing more dopamine (after inhibiting better habits) then this individual will start being more driven and attracted to more "regular" or "basic" looking individuals (including his wife). This is when relationships start improving, and the sexual experiences become "better".
On the other hand your brain still believes that you can do "better" and PUNISHES you for not attracting those "hotter" women that you were able to "attract" before. Hence you will notice that some men describe a feeling of depression, fatigue, even suicidal thoughts, AFTER having sex with an actual person. This is due to the brain again, punishing this individual for "lowering his standards/status".
This process only becomes better OVER TIME when you brain adjusts to the stimulation that it is receiving from "regular" looking individuals, and THAT is when sex with those individuals becomes actually "pleasurable" since now your brain has "lowered" its bar to what the individual can attract. (Does that make sense? Let me know.)
Let's now go back and see if we have answered the questions we set out to answer:
Is it more clear to why a marriage becomes a "disaster" once a partner decides to indulge in sexually explicit material?
Does it make sense now to why through this process an individual starts to lose interest in their significant other and can only orgasm by watching pornography?
Do you have a clear answer in mind in regards to if this "recovery" period takes longer for such an individual ?
and
Do you now have an answer in mind in regards to the question of: Is it beneficial for such an individual to have sexual relations with his significant other during this period of "recovery"?
Hopefully this information has been helpful to you and if not, please let me know if in depth guide to this topic will be of value to you.
Once again I thank you all so, SO much for your support. I look forward to hearing from you.

I live in Romania and my father suffered a heart attack on May 3 between 20:40-20:45 pm.
For me, the 3rd of May was a very gloomy day, I basically didn't feel like doing anything anymore. Even though I was rested, I hadn't consumed anything and I'm still a drug or alcohol user. I just smoke regular cigarettes. From all points of view, it was an ordinary day and without events or reasons to alter my mental state, no matter how much I looked for them, they simply did not exist.
But my mental state was simply very bad. It was definitely a premonition of what was going to happen.
Around 8:30 pm I arrived home, and because all the lights were off, I got a shock wave out of nowhere, because he should have been home at that time regardless of the reasons.
I called him immediately at 20:32, he answered and told me that he was away somewhere and that he would come. Then I told him to come home quickly and that was it.
At 20:49 I was in the kitchen with my mother smoking, then at 20:52 I returned to my room and saw a missed call from him. When I called him back, a guy answered and told me that a man was down and not breathing.
I got there immediately and he was being resuscitated by a medical team without a doctor.
After about 15-20 minutes, the crew with the doctor arrived.
They basically stared at him for about 3-5 minutes while he vomited face up.
He was in an induced coma until May 9 when he woke up because the sedatives were removed. On May 10, he was awake, he could move and talk, but I only heard a word from his mouth when a nurse took the oxygen mask from his face to ask him what he wanted, because she saw that he wanted to tell me something to me and he said "nothing" when he was asked. It was the only word heard from his mouth. I didn't think to take his mask a little and hear what he says. Because I thought I would hurt him if I took his mask.
On May 11, his condition had worsened, because the doctor who came on duty in the morning told me that he "found" him with low oxygen saturation, hypoxia and psychomotor agitation. He didn't know what happened that night from 10 to 11, only that he found him in this serious condition and that he put him on a non-invasive ventilation oxygen mask. Practically a fan, much stronger (you could hear the oxygen coming from a distance of one meter).
On May 10, he didn't have anything like that on his face, although he had all broken ribs and aspiration pneumonia. I saw that he was breathing hard, but I didn't say anything to the doctors because I'm not a doctor and I don't know how. That doctor told me on May 11 that now his body is exhausted because he didn't have enough oxygen and that he has a high risk of having a second heart attack.
On May 12, I woke up at 6 in the morning, then I went to bed again until 10 because I was very tired and the visiting time was at 12. In these 4 hours I had a terrible dream. I remember his beginnings. I was in a car to the right of the driver, and in the back was a semi-blonde woman with a 10-12-year-old blond boy, and I was arguing with them and the driver.
Then I dreamed of my father leaving home and I followed him. Then suddenly I saw him at the end of the street lying on a kind of stone table with a tube inserted in his mouth and several in his chest and semi-undressed. Then when I arrived at the hospital I see him intubated and sedated. A female doctor comes to me and tells me that she has suffered a second heart attack and that a third one is coming. And at that moment she put him on noradrenaline. He died on May 13 at 00:35 Third heart attack.
I am convinced that he was neglected by the doctors, because I did not give money. And the medical system in Romania is very bad and if you don't give money to doctors and nurses you will almost certainly die. I was afraid to give because the St. Pantelimon Hospital in Bucharest was involved in a monster scandal in April. When a nurse notified the hospital's medical care director that some doctors in the hospital's intensive care unit were intentionally reducing the patients' noradrenaline doses in order to free up beds.
In the reported period of two days, 17 people died. And now two days from January, when 30 people died in suspicious conditions in intensive care, are being investigated
The control body of the Ministry of Health, the college of doctors, the police, the prosecutor's office and the prosecutors made checks. The ministry and the college said that everything is fine, the prosecutors say no because there is evidence that the nurses are not lying. In the meantime, several nurses appeared who testified against the doctors.
I will file a criminal complaint against them tomorrow.
This is my story. Until now I did not believe in dreams and precognition. My father believed, he had hundreds of books on the subject.
Thank you for your time!

This is fairly stream-of-thought.
It's possible that some WPs are not what their BPs' need. But that is for the BPs to decide. All a wayward can do is take reconciliation seriously and work toward that end goal (assuming that is what theywant). The BP could need any number of things that the WP may or may not be able to provide - or that may or may not even be physically possible.
For example, BP might need to observe WPs actions for a period of time, until the BP fees it is safe to trust the wayward once again. I think this is doable if the BP is serious about wanting to trust the wayward, as well as the wayward showings through their actions, mentality, and sincerity that the WPs themselves are trustworthy.
On the other hand, a BP may intrinsicly need to have 'never been cheated on" by their current partner. As it is impossible to go back in time to change the past, there is no physical way to "unring the bell". If that is what some BPs truly need, the WP cannot provide it. Only a new partner who hasn't betrayed the BP will be satisfactory.
What I need from my own WW may be the same as every other BPs need from their waywards. Or, it might be entirely different by situation.
My WW does some things right, other things I am still giving her time to improve.
Ultimately she will meet my needs or she won't. I'll either accept her efforts (successful or not) or I won't. She'll either keep working on us and herself, or she will throw in the towel.
It's important to make peace with all the eventualities.
The only thing harder than learning of WW's infidelities was making the leap of faith that she is really trying to improve and make changes. Sometimes a BP can see the WPs efforts, other times I think BPs cannot see improvement through the hurt WP caused.
10 years post DDay. And that giant leap I mentioned? I think I'm near the apogee. I'm either going to make it, or gravity will take over and I'll plummet right back down.
It's not a matter of whether the WP can catch us when we fall (though that certainly helps if they do). It's about if we as BPs have the fortitude to successfully jump - and if we miss are we as BPs strong enough to halt our own fall?
Time will tell.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!! Not really sure if this is the general consensus, but here’s a breakdown of why:
1) He was so cocky when he was telling her that he missed her.
2) When he went to apologize, he basically told her that he’s going to help her change her personality to “fit in” more.
3) After she finally found a suitor who took her seriously, he didn’t reflect actively on why it bothered him and that made for some uncomfortable situations for Penelope.
4) When he decided that he DOES want to confess and marry her, IMO he went too far with the intimacy (given the time period) and didn’t even properly ask her for her hand (by this I mean he didn’t officially ask, just assumed that she’d follow along. I don’t have an issue with him not asking her mom first though).
Overall, I just felt like his actions felt TOO lustful and didn’t really have many scenes where they were really enjoying each other’s personalities. The emotional intimacy aspect was lacking and it made Colin look like an fboy in his interactions with her.
Obviously, I’m ignoring the LW aspect as he doesn’t know about that yet, and also ignoring Penelope’s faults in this post. Personally, I think Colin is the most attractive lead male yet, but I was put off with his actions to the point that I’m not buying the romance from this season. In other seasons, I felt it a lot more.

This is the story of how the son of a farmer went from -$100k in debt to a Silicon Valley billionaire in 8 years thanks to his thirst for learning, networking and risk taking at the very highest level.
Evolving every step of the way.

Meet Brett Adcock (Beta)

Brett has had an unconventional journey to the top.
Growing up on a corn and soybean farm run by his third-generation farmer parents in Moweaqua, Illinois, Brett packed up and left the village of 1,700 people, and set out to earn a business degree from the University of Florida.
As the loans started to stack up to pay for school, he wanted to get a head start and launched several web side hustles from his dorm room.
There was one common theme with these early ventures, they were focused on finance and careers.
In 2010, he combined both. Using detailed notes and study materials on financial modelling and investment banking principles, he formed an online resource to share with his brother - this became Street of Walls.
The content site wasn’t just a pet project - it helped secure many finance jobs and amassed over 30 million views and generated $600,000 over the last 15 years.
The traffic and cash helped bootstrap job marketplace his first big venture Vettery.

Brett v1.0: Vettery

2012 was a pivotal year.
Brett, alongside his "partner in crime" Adam Goldstein who he met while working at a hedge fund, kicked off Vettery. The online jobs marketplace targeted at workers in finance and IT.
Investors? Nowhere in sight. Brett dug deep, investing $200,000 of his own cash to keep the lights on. No salary at the start, just pure grind.
In 2015, Brett faced severe financial difficulties, including borrowing $50,000 to pay rent, resulting in $100,000 of debt.
It gets worse.
They missed several huge opportunities while building Vettery. Their team whipped up an internal tool for outbound lead generation. This wasn’t some basic software—this thing was a powerhouse, automating the massive email campaigns that were instrumental in scaling their business.
Their software scraped LinkedIn profiles, matched them with emails, and sent millions of cold emails to gather leads.
Heard of Outreach? They’re valued at over $4 billion now. Vettery’s lead generation tool was on that level—a $4 billion idea sitting right under their noses. They missed the boat and Outreach captured the market.
Thankfully they were eventually rewarded for their hyper focus on Vettery.
Their lead generation strategy turned out to be their golden growth strategy that allowed them to acquire customers 10x cheaper than their biggest competitor.
After scaling to 300 employees, 30,000 interviews per month across 20,000 customers, Adecco Group snapped it up for a cool $110 million in 2018, netting Brett somewhere in the region of $30 million.
Flush with cash, Brett had enough money to kick it on the beach of Costa Rica with his family.
Did he play it safe? Heck no.
It was time to go again.

Brett v2.0: Archer Aviation

In searching for their next venture, Brett and Adam wanted to solve a big problem and address urban traffic issues with electric vertical takeoff and landing (eVTOL) aircraft.
Only one problem, they knew nothing about aviation…yet.
This is where we start to see Brett, a 30-something software whizz kid evolve into a true innovator**.**
Brett embarked on an intense six-month period of learning, networking and all out immersion.

• Returned to university as an undergrad to study engineering.
• Read 50+ engineering books.
• Cold-called 300+ experts from around the world.
• Built three generations of electric aircraft in 2018 at the University of Florida.

Brett quickly learned he needed to assemble a dream team of remarkable talent in order to catch up to other eVTOL companies that were already well funded and making progress.
The timing was perfect. Airbus, Kitty Hawk and Boeing all had premier talent who wanted out for various reasons - so Archer came in and swept up their teams and hit the ground running.
This naturally came at a premium and meant Brett had to raise serious funds to keep the business afloat with a high burn rate and several years from launching working prototypes.
Archer was a rollercoaster, with Brett running out of money, facing harsh criticisms, and nearly seeing the whole dream collapse.
One of Brett’s lowest moments came when they were running out of money and the company was on the brink of collapse. He had what he described as the “worst call of his life”.
Joel Cutler of General Catalyst called his pitch “disrespectful” due to the timing of COVID19 with people dying, hospitals overflowing and he was asking money for his ‘flying car idea’. Ouch.
But Brett remained undeterred. Archer’s relentless belief, development and drive, plus Brett’s tireless networking helped Archer secure $1 billion of capital.
This eventually a $1.5 billion order from United Airlines. Their first major order and a big step towards a commercially viable business.
For five years at Archer, Brett and the team went through hell.
There was light at the end of the tunnel though when they eventually took the company public via a SPAC at a $2.7 billion valuation in 2021.
Brett was now worth hundreds of millions

Brett v2.5 - Archer Exit

Brett had been through the thick of it - managing tight cash flow, avoiding bankruptcy and then very soon faced major stock price volatility as the market took a hit.
To make matters worse, there was a "misalignment” between Brett and the board over Archer’s direction. Leading to his resignation as co-CEO, leaving his co-founder Adam as the sole CEO.
Brett was departing Archer Aviation, but he was leaving with the blueprint for how to start, manage and scale an innovative company (more on that later).
Call it reckless or courageous, leaving Archer has paved the way for his most ambitious project yet.

Brett v3.0 - Founding Figure

Humanoid robots that can walk, talk, handle tools, you name it.
Brett believes Figure has the potential to become a $50+ billion dollar company in the next five years. Why? The human workforce is half of global GDP ($35-40 Trillion), if Figure humanoid robots can capture just a slither of the labor market like the unsafe or undesirable jobs - then he is onto a winner.
And like with Archer, he’s gone all in.
Adcock took a similar approach with $20 million of his own cash self funding the operation and quickly assembling a dreamteam of talent. He nabbed experts from companies like Boston Dynamics, Tesla, and Google DeepMind, and Apple's secret program and within a year, Figure had a bipedal robot prototype up and walking.
But it hasn’t been smooth sailing.
After leaving Archer in April 2022, Brett's assets were largely tied up in Archer stock, which he could not sell due to a 12-month lockup period. He had very limited liquidity and could only sell a small percentage of his stock over time. Meanwhile, Figure's monthly burn rate reached seven figures within six months.
It then got stickier when Archer's stock price plummeted from ~$6 to $1.80, significantly reducing Brett's available funds. He struggled to meet Figure's financial demands, frequently transferring funds from stock sales to cover payroll and operational costs.
Brett's financial predicament became so dire that he took out a second mortgage on his house to sustain Figure. He was on the brink of personal bankruptcy despite being worth hundreds of millions (on paper).
Despite the challenges, Brett's relentless risk taking and drive has led Figure to become a $2.6 billion company after their recent Series B funding.
Seeing his net worth hit a cool $1.4 billion.
And he’s just getting started.
P.S. By the way, Brett just turned 38 last month!

TL;DR

There is so much to be admired from Brett’s journey and continued success.
Here’s four hot takes from Brett:

1. Hardware was easier than software. With software you are convincing people they need your product. Whereas with hardware you know that if you can solve a particular problem that is within the laws of physics, there’s already demand. Investors also want to back big ideas, so it’s much easier to raise money, hire quality talent and have a meaningful impact on the planet.
2. Iterative Cycles is key to progress. What really matters is how often you are iterating and how much progress you make between each iteration cycle. You need to move as quickly as possible.
3. Always be learning. Brett dove into fields he knew nothing about, from finance to aerospace, and now robotics. His secret weapon? An insatiable appetite for knowledge and focus. Reading books. Taking courses. Finding academic papers. If you’re uncomfortable, you’re on the right track.
4. Big Risks, Bigger Rewards. This guy puts skin in the game, often his own cash, proving that sometimes the biggest risks really do lead to the biggest rewards.

"Hardware businesses are actually easier than software businesses," Brett Adcock.

Agree or disagree?

Previous Chapter - https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1d7fx2m/from_the_ashes_chapter_3_the_house/
Life is strange, isn't it? You are forced to make decisions. Sometimes the best decision is to do nothing. To let it all go and continue living in ignorance.
A lot of people went down that path. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
I am not that person, for better or for worse.
And now I am in a situation that I wouldn't have even dreamed of... A nightmare. But the light at the end of this tunnel is that I might just get the answers I want. The answers I need.
Life is strange. A need for an abstract meaning for life, to continue your carnal and material one.

Opening my eyes the first thing I saw was the ceiling. Wooden, rotten... Old. The smell of moist wood, a burning fire in the room. It wasn't a housefire, I think... I hoped. I heard it crackling.
This wasn't my apartment back in Weser, that's for certain. My mind was like a blur for a few moments. Then I remembered what happened before I fell asleep... Or fell unconscious? I raised my right hand and I saw it was intact by some miracle. Functional... I tested each of my digits. It felt real, it felt like my hand.
„Was it a dream...?“ I asked no one in particular.
„No.“ A woman replied. Turning my head to the right I saw her sitting next to a fireplace, she threw a few twigs into the fire before she turned back to me. „It wasn't a dream Wyatt.“
„Where are we? Who are you? How long has it been?“ I asked, I looked back at the ceiling. My mind still processing the previous night's events.
„We are in Master Rosallyn's lodge. Where we first met. I am... I was his apprentice. It had been a few hours, it's daytime now.“ She responded, but her answers just gave me even more questions. I saw through one window that it was indeed day, early morning I would guess.
„Are you... What is your name? And... Master Rosallyn?“ I continued, still lying down on the bed and massaging my temples. My head hurt.
„Kyiela, you can call me Kye. Kellynstir was my Master, he taught me almost everything I know. To you, he was your grandfather. I heard about you before... Before he passed he told me you would arrive one day. And he asked of me to be your guide in the days to come. But you arrived so soon... I don't know if I am ready. You have already awoken, I can feel it within you. I saw it.“ She told me... Even more questions.
„I didn't know I had any living relatives... Well, I don't anymore, but my grandfather? Paternal grandfather. How old was he when he passed?“ I inquired.
„He was 130 years old I believe.“ She said.
„He was... Was he human?“ I sat up on the bed, I winced when I put pressure on my shoulder.
„You should rest still. Healing magic does wonders but I can't fix everything.“ She told me, she stood up and approached me. „He was a Halfling. A bridge between our two people, you could say.“
I thought for a few moments, it all felt surreal.
„That would mean I have essence? Since I have elven ancestry.“ I asked.
„Yes. And you've used magic to save yourself... And me, in a way. You distracted them...“ She said crossing her arms. „But how'd you know any magic at this point... Wind magic especially. Have you studied from grimoires?“ She asked me.
„I... That was magic back there?“
Did I use magic? Me... A human? No, I have elven ancestry... Does that mean my father also could use magic? What about my mother?
Kyiela... Kye stared at me. She had a cold and indifferent look to her. Reminded me of some professors back at Weser Polytechnic.
„It's hard to explain... But I simply imagined my elbow as a barrel of a gun, and my fist a bullet. And I imagined a pressurized tank of air... And it happened, it just happened. Then I...hurt someone... Is he dead?“
Kyiela cocked her head to the side, her eyes scanning for something, but more likely she was going through her memories trying to find something. Then she shook her head.
„You have to learn the proper way to wield magic, or else you are going to hurt yourself. Like you did back there. First rule, do not use your body as a weapon unless you somehow reinforce it or as a last resort... This time was understandable, but do not do it again.“ I thought she was ignoring my last question, but she continued. „And yes, he is dead alright. All of them are. If that weren't the case we wouldn't be talking peacefully now.“
I had to accept the situation I find myself in, however hard it was. I had to think rationally... Though I was still in a world of hurt with my shoulder... My hand felt strange... I must keep a cool head. I mustn't panic. Now that I have blood on my hands there is no going back. I always imagined it being hard to accept... But surprisingly despite everything I was calmer than I expected... At least for now.
„Kyiela... Kye, how can I trust you?“ I asked her.
„I risked my life to save yours. I healed your hand. If I wanted to harm you in any way I would have done it already.“
„Fair point...“ I replied.
„I'll explain the rest, and you can ask your questions later. I am sure you are hungry, and so am I. I made some soup, but I think it cooled off by now.“ She said.
„You could've eaten without me.“ I said, slowly getting up from the bed.
„I decided to wait.“ She replied, I simply chose to ignore that... I am no expert in Elven cultural norms... I forgot she was an elf. She is an elf... I'll try not to dwell on it. She did save my life after all.
She led me to the dining area in the house slash cabin. We sat down, I saw that the interior looked lived in despite it being dilapidated. The place needed some serious renovation. Some parts looked fine, structurally speaking, while others looked like they were about to collapse at any moment. At least there weren't many holes in the roof, so rain wasn't a problem I would guess... I can't tell.
I saw she grabbed her bowl and manifested a small fireball in her hand. Then she put the fireball under the bowl, slowly heating the porridge inside. After around half a minute I saw there was a little bit of steam coming out of the soup.
She grabbed a spoon and took a small sip, she nodded, happy with the temperature. Then she extended her hand toward me.
„Let me heat it up for you... Or do you like it cold?“ She asked.
„I would like it to be warm... Do you imagine a fireball when you're casting it?“ I asked. She looked at me for a moment, as if pondering should she tell me or not. She retracted her hand.
„I do, but you must concentrate to hold it for extended periods. It takes practice. Magic is the realm of imagination, though there are limits. You cannot imagine something that is not physically possible and manifest it. You can't turn lead into gold, you can't create something out of nothing.“ She told me.
„But you just did.“ I said. She looked uninterested... Maybe a bit annoyed. She sighed. „Care to explain then?“
„Fire cannot be created without fuel. You had no fuel, thus I can only imagine you made a ball of heat... Heat.“ I ruminated on that thought for a moment, then I gently grabbed the cold bowl in front of me with both of my hands.
„Heat and cold are simply the difference between the oscillation of particles within a material object. The colder something is the less the particles move... The hotter the object is then the faster the particles move... Shake if you will.“
I concentrated on the bowl.
„Don't do anything stupid.“ I heard Kyiela say.
I imagined water particles, fluid, and with smooth movement starting to shake.
I felt a slow buildup of energy in my body slowly starting to focus on both of my palms. I felt as the bowl started to get warmer and warmer. It was too slow.
I imagined the particles begin to shake even more...
Then all the contents of the bowl abruptly turned into steam. My hands quickly moved from the boiling heat and I turned my head away from the wave of steam. I was surprisngly unhurt.
I heard Kyiela stand up quickly from her seat. She looked at me wide-eyed.
„I shouldn't have shaken them that much I think...“ I said.
„Do not do that again, is that clear?!“ She raised her voice.
„I'm not making another bowl for you.“ She lowered her voice again, sat back down, and continued to eat. „Now you will wait for me to finish.“ She said, now in her familiar calm and collected tone. But the undertone of irritation was palpable.
I shouldn't play with things I don't understand... I thought to myself, then another thought popped into my head, Darren would love this. I thought back to home. I still had a place I needed to come back to... This was supposed to be a quick expedition to see what this was all about, and maybe learn something more about my family.
I did, more than I'd like to actually. But this all still felt like a dream.
I miss home. I miss Darren's rants about magic already... I miss my bed.
But as things stand now I can't go back, not anytime soon, at least. People back home will probably think I'm dead or something.
Yet that nostalgia and wish for things to go back to how they were quickly changed to present matters. Who is Kyiela exactly? She told me she was the apprentice of my late grandfather, who was a halfling... I tried not to stare at her while she ate. And it is pretty obvious my previous experimentation did not sit very well with her.
I thought about how I would strike up the conversation... Well, I had something in mind.
„Who were those mages who attacked us?“ I asked. Kye took another sip from, not looking up from the bowl she responded.
„Bandits, robbers... Their magic and technique were rudimentary. Though I was surprised one of them had the ability of levitation. I'd like to know where he learned that...“ She said, speaking her thoughts out loud in the last part I assume.
„They followed us probably...“ I said.
„Not probably, but definitely. I know that type, they find a lone wagon, they follow it like bloodhounds, and wait for the opportune moment to strike. You said yourself you and your guide found a site of a battle. Black patches in the grass, the same type of offensive magic they used last night.“ She explained.
Right then she got up from he seat. She already finished her meal.
„Now, Wyatt Rosallyn. I must ask you to follow me. I need to show you something.“ She began walking into a hallway adjacent to the dining area. I got up and followed her.
The hallway was rather dark, it had no windows. Kye raised her hand slightly and manifested a small orb that emitted a soft light, just enough to see where we were going.
We reached a heavy wooden door with a padlock. Kye reached into a pocket inside her robe and retrieved a small key. Unlocking the door I felt a familiar and distinct scent. Paper.
I saw there were stone steps leading down into the darkness.
Now I had my reservations about following a person I just met down into a dark basement... But I am fairly certain that I knew what she wanted to show me.
The Rosallyn Library.
We descended the steps, I watched my every step. Nearly tripping once or twice, the steps weren't of equal height. Kye had no issues whatsoever.
Once we arrived to the bottom I saw there was no light source inside. I assumed there would be candles or torches... But no. It also presents a fire hazard.
„Can you cast something that has a bit more light?“ I asked Kye. „I can't see anything.“
„No need.“ She said as she searched the wall with her free hand. Then I heard a flick.
Then the entire room lit up.
I saw three rows of books and scrolls. It wasn't that big to warrant being called a library... But if a single man collected this amount of books and scrolls, it is certainly impressive.
That was my first thought. My second thought emerged when I realized what I just witnessed.
I looked up at the ceiling, I saw bulbs which emitted light...
Electricity?!
„Impressive, isn't it.“ She said as the orb of light in her hand disappeared.
„It is... Where is the closest electrical station?“ I asked.
Kye looked at me with a confused expression.
„Elektrical?“ She repeated. I pointed to the light bulb on the ceiling. I knew it was not possible, not in a million years that they have access to electricity here.
„Oh, Master Rosallyn experimented with something about a decade ago. He imbued essence into a metallic sphere and connected copper with these glass bulbs. I don't know exactly how they work...“ She explained I kept staring into the light. „You're more impressed with the light, not the contents of your family's library?“ She said.
„Listen, I have seen massive libraries. This is on par with a small bookshop at most. But still, I know there is a treasure trove of information down here... But I see you don't realize the implications of that... You said a metallic sphere was imbued with essence? A decade ago?“ I said.
Essence can be used as a power source? When I come back Darren is going to be ecstatic! Nay, I'm feeling ecstatic! Back home electricity is expensive to produce and distribute... This would change everything!
„Wyatt, I can see you share the same love for the small things as your grandfather and I saw that you like to experiment... The main difference between you and him is that you are reckless.“ Kye said. I simply sighed as a reply, still thinking through the various things this can be used for.
„Anyway... I will help you study here. You have enough literature to become a competent mage, I will teach you restraint and technique. I am by no means a master... But I know the basics pretty well.“ Kye told me.
„Wait a second... Studying? Here? Well, yeah I can see why...“ I said, pausing for a second.
„Look I just need some time to take all of this in, I can't keep up honestly. The last day has been... Too much.“ Kye put her hand on my shoulder.
„I understand.“ She told me. „We'll begin as soon as you're ready. You need to adjust.“
She turned around, turning off the light in the room. Casting the light orb once again she began ascending the steps.
„Kyiela?“ I asked, remembering something.
She turned back around.
„Do you have a shovel?“

Digging a hole in the ground is a lot more exhausting than I imagined it. My body is simply not cut out for this kind of work... Not yet, at least. But I don't want to become an expert grave digger any time soon.
We rolled up Owen's body inside a cloth and put him in his shallow grave. He deserved better, I know that. But this was the best I could do.
A shallow grave and a small board with his name carved into it using the same knife he gave me... I did find it in the field, though it took some time. I never did ask for his surname, sadly. But I hope he'll find his resting place sufficient.
Once I finished filling up the grave I dropped the shovel to the ground and wiped the sweat from my brow. The sun was scorching me, and I couldn't wait to return to the shade. It was unusually hot today...
Turning around I saw Kye was rummaging through the wagon. Searching for anything of value.
It felt kind of wrong going through a dead man's things... But she had no such reservations. We decided to leave the bodies of the mages alone. They did try to kill us... And I simply didn't want to dig three more graves.
I left my bag next to the wagon and I just ran out of water in the pouch I was carrying. I had another in there. I walked back to the wagon, hearing Kye going through whatever was inside.
„Wyatt, have you found the crossbow?“ She asked me not even seeing I came close by. It's like she could feel my presence... Weird.
„I have, it's over there in the field. I'll go pick it up, I just need to quench my thirst real quick.“ I opened and rummaged through my bag, finding the other water pouch. Right next to it was the inheritance notice.
I grabbed the pouch and had a drink, then I looked at the inheritance notice...
„Kye, you know you inherited 20,000 Gelders from Kellynstir?“
„Yes, I do not need human currency. Master Rosallyn had occasional trips across the Lydas so he accumulated some money to trade there. He went over just before he died.“ She said I heard a few things being knocked over and yelped before she continued. „Before you ask... He did look human. He was a halfling.“
„I assumed... And you're alright?“ I asked her.
„I am...“
„When did Kellynstir die anyway?“
„About a week ago, if you want to ask for his grave he has none. He chose to be cremated, and I followed his wishes.“
I tried to not think about how she cremated the corpse of my grandfather... News travels quite fast despite the isolated nature of this place. I'll take note of that as well.
I looked back at the paper. „It also says here you got two horses?“
„Lynn and Phinn, yes. They are in the barn, I'll introduce you to them once we're done here.“
I nodded, putting the water pouch and paper back into the bag.
„You mentioned you did not need currency... I assume we won't be shopping for supplies.“ I heard my stomach growl... I didn't eat anything today. Well, that's my fault.
„We'll be going hunting. But not now, I have a week's worth of food stored. Game is quite abundant in these parts so we don't have to worry.“ She jumped from the wagon to the ground. I looked at Owen's rifle that was leaning on the wagon's wheel. Kyiela followed my gaze.
„We won't be using it. Too loud.“ She said.
„I'll take it anyway.“ I replied.
She stared at the rifle, then at Owen's grave in the distance.
„Were you and your guide close?“ She asked. I took a moment to reply.
„I knew the guy for a day. I did talk to him quite a bit during the trip. He was a good man... Had a daughter and two grandkids. Planned on paying for their education... His work paid quite well.“ I remembered I probably buried the 200 Gelders alongside Owen... I won't complain. I have no use for them anyway. And I didn't want to dig through his pockets.
Kyiela stared at Owen's grave for a few moments, she nodded in approval... For what exactly I couldn't surmise.
„Alright, I'll search the three mages. You rest for now.“ She said... Speaking of looting corpses...
I sat on the wagon, looking as Kyiela went through the mages one by one, pocketing anything she found.
I thought about waiting for another wagon to pass by... Maybe jumping in and escaping back to the Lydas.
I buried my face in my hands.
This life is... It's simply too different from the one I lived before. And I still looked at Kyiela as a stranger. She was an apprentice of my grandfather... Did he have more of them?
There were simply too many unknowns. She is a mystery to me... She seems cold and disconnected. But she also seems to be well disciplined, she knows what she's doing. But I'll refrain from asking anything personal just yet. If and when she wants to open up... I'll let her.
One thing that irked me was the fact that for some reason she looked familiar. But I couldn't quite place her anywhere... And I didn't want to go too far back in my memories.
„Patience... Cool head.“ I spoke out loud.
I saw as Kye was coming back from her looting. When she came near I saw she was grinning.
That's new, I thought to myself. She probably found something of value.
„Wyatt, let's head back. I'm starting to get hungry, and I still have to show you around the house. And I need to feed the horses. You'll help me with that.“
I nodded, hoping off the wagon.
„Let's get going then.“
Next Chapter - Coming Soon

After several listens to Clancy, I have come to believe that this album represents a period of reflection before the final battle. More specifically, I believe each song on Clancy is directly responding to a previous song/songs from the band. Each song either acts as an update to show us how far we’ve come OR extra context to fill in holes and help us better understand previous songs.
Each song on this list I chose because it either was hinted at in music videos or because the band has been playing them live. (I believe the songs they choose for live shows as very purposeful.) I am not dead set on these, they are just my best guesses. There are probably other songs that also fit, but I’m trying not to reach too much. Also, listening to everything in this order does flow really well. I recommend trying it out.

1. Nico and the Niners, Pet Cheetah, Overcompensate: A theme of “running” and fast animals. Going from “renting a racehorse” to training a pet cheetah to being an experienced track star. Helps us understand who Clancy is and his purpose to Tyler.
   
2. HeavyDirtySoul, Jumpsuit, New Semester: A theme of car crashes. I think New Semester adds missing context to the period between HDS and Jumpsuit. “I remember what I was wearing” + “Jumpsuit, Cover me.” Clancy is remembering the events of the other vids. Also helps us understand the symbolism of the yellow tape. Yellow lines guide us when the road is dark, showing us the proper path, and so do the banditos for Clancy.
   
3. Saturday, Backslide: Literally mentions Saturday in backslide. Themes of being underwater.
   
4. Mulberry Street, Midwest Indigo: Themes of sunny days and making your way around town. I could also see Ride fitting here.
   
5. Fairly Local, Routines in the Night: Ive seen others talk about the connection here. Don’t feel like typing it all out. Music video connections.
   
6. Ode to Sleep, Vignette: Both songs about fighting off shadows at night. “What have I become?” “A tribute to zombies, of which I’ve become.”
   
7. Tear in my Heart, The Craving: Jenna songs
   
8. Shy Away, Lavish: music industry songs from before and after perspectives
   
9. Holding on to You, My Blood, Navigating: My blood has music video connections. Holding has lyrical connections. “Trying to hold on to you cause everybody leaves.”
   
10. Car Radio, Snap Back: music video connections
    
11. Screen, Oldies Station: “Can’t see past my own nose” turns into learning to “tune it out”
    
12. Trapdoor, Guns for Hands, At the Risk: themes of dropping/falling and themes of guns
    
13. Isle of Flightless Birds, Trees, Hometown, Leave the City, Paladin Strait: all are epic world-building songs near the end of their albums
    

I am really scared that I got pregnant. I really messed up and got drunk and had a one night stand. I am on birth control ive been on it since march at first I was really good at taking it now not as good the night I had sex I had missed a pill so I got plan b the next morning and took it ASAP. But then I read it doesn’t work when ovulating I was in my fertile window I have a app that predicts im ovulating today but then also read that those apps are not predictable. I have been pregnant before and felt my stomach was tight before I knew I was pregnant and now of course I feel my stomach is tight. Of course now I have to worry for 2 more weeks until im supposed to get my period. I am not okay.

I'm a female Dragon Ball/Z/SupeGT fan, but something has always confused me about the recurring "Bulma's panties" gag. Panties gags have made it into other animes, and it doesn't bother me, but it is confusing from a woman's perspective.
To me, panties are just underwear. They have piss scent and sometimes even period blood. When it leaks during our menstrual cycle, we have to throw the whole thing out or wash it. Even when it's not destroyed enough and able to be restored via washing, there's still a stain that remains on them forever. They're honestly gross and embarrassing.
Why would someone ever wish or want to get something that gross and awkward? I think I'm missing the joke.
Someone explain it to me.

Hello I’m wondering had anyone had the same experience as me dealing with an ectopic with these high levels and what ended up happening. Missed period (05/05) tested positive for pregnancy same day.
(05/15) first hcg level and ultrasound. 634 hcg, nothing seen, doc said it could be too early. 05/17: hcg was 1539, still nothing on ultrasound 05/24: via transvaginal ultrasound ectopic found right side, sent to the ER by OB to receive methotrexate shot. Hcg was 3017. 05/26: 2nd day of MTX shot, started cramping lightly/ moderate bleeding like a period but not soaking pads fast. Worse cramps I’d had. 05/28: 4 days after shot, hcg rosed to 4950. OB said it normal for a rise, she’s looking for the drop between day 4 & 7, I had horrible cramps and passed a decidual cast this day, heating pad did not help. 05/31: Day 7 of MTX shot, level rosed up to 5013. Cramping and bleeding calmed down. 06/02(this pass Sunday): my OB called and said I need to go to the ER because my levels didn’t dropped. Hcg levels at the ER were 3110 ( almost 2k drop which was shocking) 06/03: early morning at the ER they gave me a second round of MTX instead of surgery.
My next blood work appointment is tmr and I’m hoping my levels have dropped tremendously, if not then surgery will be the next step. Symptoms now are juss, dull cramps here and there on my ectopic side and maybe spotting one or twice a day when I wipe, trouble with gas, took gas d to help. I’m wondering had anyone had the same experience as me dealing with an ectopic with these types of levels and what ended up happening?

There’ve been a lot of posts in recent days around players who’ve been forgotten about or are underrated - I.e. Kevin Keegan or players going abroad before the modern era. But there are also several players not mentioned such as Glenn Hoddle, Trevor Brooking etc. who were very technically gifted players but rarely get mentioned in conversations about best XIs or even as being good examples of talented English players.
Having reflected on it, I think it’s part of a much deeper perception of football in England being in some way deficient in the 70s all the way up to the late 80s. I’m interested in seeing if people agree with what I see the perception as and my assessment of whether it’s fair.
I’ll elucidate this by marking down different eras and what I think is the common perception of them
Time immemorial - 1950 - The Imperious Age - England are perceived as being so much better than non-British opponents that it wasn’t even worth competing
1950-1970 - The Golden Age - Taken down a peg or two in the 50s, England are still firmly at the top table the players are classic (and the most famous) bordering on mythical. This culminates in 1966 before ending with the loss to Germany in 1970.
1970 - 1986 - The wilderness years - England are totally left behind by the likes of total football and are a bunch of hardmen who can’t do much more than hoof it on muddy pitches
1986 - 1998 - The ‘Nostalgia’ era - The England of heroic failure. Not the best but always within touching distance of it. It’s what all the TV shows and the BBC want to talk about.
1998 - 2008 - The Golden flop - famous premier league players can’t get their act together and never do any better than ‘ok’
2008 - 2016 - The ‘Banter Era’ - England’s golden generation age out and aren’t replaced
2016 - Present - Potential Renaissance
I’ll focus on the ‘Wilderness’ years for this. The narrative we’re familiar with is that Alf Ramsey didn’t keep up with the times following the World Cup and lasted too long until failing to beat Poland and qualify for the 1974 World Cup. Whereas in the chaos following Don Revie’s appointment we were equally useless in qualifying for 1978. The 1982 World Cup is barely talked about, neither are any of the Euros prior to 1996.
I feel this picture is unfair for several reasons but here are some explanations and points for consideration:

• Explanation 1 - Hooliganism conflates behaviour in the stands vs what was on the pitch. It became ‘uncool’ enjoy football during this period as it was associated with violence and people willing to display open racism. This doesn’t create a great advert for the players who were around back then and so they struggle with recognition compared to the previous era (discussed more later).
  
• Why it’s not fair 1 - There were tactically innovative and passing English sides in this period. While it’s obvious Don Revie wasn’t the right replacement for Ramsey, Leeds were far and away the best team in England in 1974. Their football though wasn’t based around hoofing the ball. It was heavily focused on analysis of the opposition team and on keeping the ball to stop the opposition from scoring. Likewise Brian Clough’s ‘grass in the sky’ comments showed what he thought of the approach. But throughout the era club sides existed that challenged well in Europe and won such as Spurs, Villa and of course Liverpool who were able to get the best of European sides who fielded superior national sides.
  
• Why it’s not fair 2 - Technical English footballers most definitely existed in this period - in addition to Keegan, Brooking and Hoddle you could also point to players like Tony Currie or Ray Wilkins who were extremely comfortable on the ball and didn’t struggle with creativity.
  
• Explanation 2 - Broadcasting - the golden generation were so revered as we saw them every week. Players from the 70s were not. They also missed out on romantic moments in England shirts.
  
• Why it’s not fair 3 - the 1982 side was bloody good. Most of the best players from the 70s were there at the 82 World Cup in Spain. The only side to win all three first round group games they outplayed France in the opening game just before their 84 Euros triumph. They went out having not lost a match in the second group phase and had arguably better for the games they drew that knocked them out of the second group phase.
  
• Explanation 3 - Qualification was much harder in the past. Euros and World Cups were much smaller tournaments and in the 70s only one side went through to the finals from a group. However, people are binary about football and simply the fact we failed to qualify made people think we were shit.
  
• Why it’s not fair 4 - The sides who pipped us were Poland’s best ever team and then Italy - who we only lost out to on goal difference having won at home and lost away.
  
• Explanation 4- Conservatism - a long standing issue with England sides was (and is) a lack of positivity.
  
• Why it’s not fair 5 - We often retrospectively apply the problems of following generations backwards. The negativity and route one approaches that embedded themselves in England during the European ban wasn’t the way football had always been.
  
• Explanation 5 - Charles Reep is a dick - the crap analysis that made England very conservative and direct held back an awful lot of players for England. Combined with a lack of broadcast club games and a refusal to get the most out of those technical players or the tactical innovation that was going on means that the great things these players did get lost in the public consciousness.
  

I (27F UK) went to a private endo specialist for first time yesterday and just have so many mixed feelings about it. Never posted before but just wanted any sort of feedback on my situation (sorry it’s long).
My history is that I’ve always had extremely heavy periods, irregular and painful but manageable. Always had feelings of fatigue, acne flairs, IBS symptoms. At 19 my GP put me on antidepressants thinking it could be mental health/stress. I took myself off them a few years later as there was no difference.
Went on the copper coil (no one told me potential side effects) and everything got a whole lot worse and was impacting my daily life, started having episodes of severe pain and ~butt lightening~ which would last hours - like there was a rod shoved through my belly button to my ass.
Went onto the hormonal coil instead and this seemed to help my painful periods and these episodes of severe pain stopped for about 2 years.
I did begin to have random quick shooting pains especially when I sneeze/cough/laugh - particularly near my period due date. Around ovulation and leading up to my period I just get this feeling that everything in my lower abdomen is really crowded and packed in, with some tugging/pulling sensations that can be slightly painful. I get really bad bloating and gas almost all the time, along with other IBS symptoms.
Cut to a few weeks ago where I experienced a painful episode again. Cramping, spasms, butt lightening and tearing/shooting pain. I went back to the GP and she brought up endo (first time anyone has suggested it) so I’ve been trying to push this forward as it seems to fit my symptoms - or I want to rule it out.
Because of waiting times I thought I’d go to a local specialist. The doctor had great manner and he explained everything, so I don’t have any complaints about how he interacted with me.
After the internal scan, he said quite abruptly “well you do have PCO” which shocked me as I wasn’t expecting it (I’d mentioned a previous scan where they saw signs but couldn’t diagnose). He said since I have an irregular cycle then probably also PCOS. He didn’t see any signs of endo but said that didn’t rule it out and then laid out other steps going forward.
The problem is, the gist I got is he was saying that it isn’t worth trying to get a diagnosis. I might as well just try the treatments and see what works, then the problem is solved.
I feel like this misses the fundamental fact that I want to understand what is happening in my body and why.
I think I was under the impression that a specialist would validate my experience and reinforce that it’s worthwhile seeking answers, but instead I feel like the whole idea was to discourage me.
I also asked about whether I should get a fertility test because I want kids in a few years and his response was basically you don’t need to take a test, if you get pregnant then you know you can. But what if I want to know in advance if I might have issues?
I’ve had these issues for so long, so many GP trips trying to investigate different causes and I’m just so sad and disheartened about this experience.
My symptoms don’t really impact my daily life, they’re there but they don’t hinder me 90% of the time and these painful episode are infrequent so it’s easy for me to feel like I’m making a big deal about nothing. But when they do happen it’s completely incapacitating.
I’m now thinking I want to get my coil removed as I want to see what my body is like normally. My cycle has been altered for so many years that I feel like I don’t have all the information I need to be able to push this forward with confidence. I don’t feel like I’m advocating for myself but equally I feel like it’s not that bad so why am I complaining??

I am 24 and my period is usually very regular but I am 8 days late now and super anxious. No major stress or life changes but I am a hypochondriac so my period being late stresses me out. Not pregnant either. Doctors won't even see you here unless you've missed 3 periods in a row.

BLUF: 29M, B.S. Degree from NE ivy in STEM & military service; now working in corporate and have no desire to continue on this path. Come from LE family who never regretted a day in LE but see corporate jobs and my financial compensation in "the grass is always greener sense". Am I crazy to make this career switch because I miss serving others and giving back to a community? I do believe that I could make a positive difference but understand most enter the field with that mentality.
Background: I come from a LE family starting with both grandfathers and all uncles and cousins; I was the first male to go to college and worked hard to get my diploma from an ivy (truly a C's get degrees student at that level). Post college wanted to serve and took a military commission and served my contract ending with a honorable discharge. Was recruited to a corporate role immediately following military service with a solid compensation package and with a company many would consider top of the industry. The issue is money does not buy happiness and trust me I have tried, much to the chagrin of my wife (who works in the tech industry but is leaving to pursue her own passions as she is also disenfranchised by corporate life). I have discussed with my family about leaving my current role and pursuing LE on either a state (patrol/trooper) or federal (SA) level and while they always say they support me they also say I am crazy to give up my position in an industry and risk my health and life again. I'm not sure if there really is a solid question here outside of the stereotypical "am I crazy doing this" but I truly want my work to be a part of my life, where I can give back to others and try to make difference in a community and an organization with real change. I understand at certain levels that politics play a role and there will always be bad leaders but that is true for any industry. I've had bad days in the military and been gone for periods of time; my wife supports whatever I do 100% so I am truly lucky and fortunate there. Before this becomes a roast, I know reddit can be toxic, but this group often has gems of good advice on many posts which is why I am posting here. And finally, yes, I did try buying a sports car but for some reason I can't fuel it on hate and nicotine so 3/10 recommend.

Just like the title says, I’m on day 3 of no period. I’ve been off T for the recommended time in order to start trying. I got off birth control and started to have a regular cycle. I had sex every day during my window, sometimes multiple times a day. I don’t understand. I’ve been taking tests. All negative. Is it too early? I have no reproductive issues or conditions. With my daughter I tested around week 4 and it was positive. Maybe I’m missing something? What do y’all think? I’ll be seeing my doctor for a check-up Friday. Maybe her tests will pickup HcG if it’s too low.

This is a case that goes far beyond “justice” and “duty.”
Facing this thing called Godzilla is equivalent to confronting God.

Godzilla was a dinosaur-like monster living in the deep ocean off Odo Island. Periodically he'd come to the surface, appearing to locals and scaring deep-sea fish up, where they'd die in a low-pressure environment. In late 1945, the creature massacred an Imperial Japanese army base on the island, leaving only two survivors.
In 1946, the creature was caught in an atomic bomb test, mutating it into a much larger and stronger form. Furious with humans for hurting it, Godzilla made its way to Japan by 1947, leveling an entire district of Tokyo and killing tens of thousands. Having only barely started recovery from losing the second World War, Japan must face the monster without a proper military or allies.
Source Key:

• MO - Godzilla Minus One Movie
• N# - Godzilla Minus One Novelization and page number. As I'm using a machine, translation, I've elected to include the original Japanese text for transparency and fact-checking

Dinosaur Form

Strength

• Smashes apart a wooden guard tower ^MO
• Massacred the mechanics at the Odo Island military base, crushing them with his feet and tail or biting and throwing them ^MO
  • Several bodies were dismembered by his rampage ^N25
• Demolishes the Odo Island command building with his tail ^MO
• Lifts a fighter plane in his mouth and throws it ^MO

Durability and Regeneration

• He's capable of surviving deep sea pressures, scaring up deep sea fish when he ventures to the surface ^N16-17
• Unharmed by an explosion beneath his feet ^MO
  • The novel clarifies that this was ignited gasoline from several barrels ^{N 18-19}
• Gunfire only makes him angry ^MO
  • These were Type 99 short rifles ^N22
  • It's noted in the novel that he at least noticed the bullets, unlike after his mutation ^N83-84
• He survives getting caught in one of the Operation Crossroads atomic bomb tests, although it visibly damages him ^MO
  • The novel implies that he had regeneration prior to being mutated. This abnormality allows him to survive the "Baker" atomic bomb test. However the radiation prevented him from regenerating normally, mutating him into a larger and stronger form ^N57-59

Other

• He's 15 meters tall ^N17-18

Mutated Form

Strength

• Sank multiple US Navy ships and a submarine ^MO
  • The novel states that he used his claws to do this damage in a single blow ^{N69, 73}
• Bites a minesweeper boat and drags it underwater ^MO
• Could easily smash the Shinsei-maru, a fishing-turned-minesweeper boat, to pieces ^N80
• Kicks cars and buses down a street ^MO
• Throws a bus a long distance ^MO
• Crushes the road beneath him as he walks ^MO
• Bites into a train car and pick up the whole train ^MO
• Tears chunks out of the Nippon Theatre, then smashes several more buildings with his tail. Even brushing up against a building destroys its structural integrity ^MO
  • The novel elaborates that every building in range of his tail was leveled ^N108-109
• Launches a large boat into a port building from outside of the bay the port is built on ^MO
  • The novel says this boat was a "submarine chaser" that he'd snapped in half, and confirms that Godzilla was outside the boundary of the port when he threw it ^N157-158
• He's theorized to be strong enough to swing around destroyer ships via the cables they wrapped him with ^N177

Mobility

• Seemingly avoids bombardment from the heavy cruiser Takao while swimming towards it ^N87-88
• After being tricked into thinking a rival is in his territory, he arrives at a Japanese port hours earlier than was projected based on his movements ^MO
  • For reference, the destroyer ships being used in the plan to kill him as planned to sail 3 hours early in order to intercept his path at their desired location ^MO
• Narrowly misses Shikishima's plane as he attacks ^MO
  • The novel says Godzilla moved twice as fast as usual when attacking, and Shikishima only barely avoids being hit ^N162-163
  • Shikishima's plane, a Shinden, can reach speeds of 400 knots ^MO

Durability and Regeneration

• Isn't even slowed down by a sea mine exploding on his back ^MO
  • The novel confirms he was completely unharmed ^N82-83
• No sells the Shinsei-maru's machine gun ^MO
  • It was a 13mm gun ^MO
  • The novel claims he didn't even notice them enough to anger him, unlike prior to his mutation ^N83-84
• Gets half his face blown off when a mine explodes inside his mouth, but he survives and regenerates (including growing back teeth and an eye) in seconds ^MO
  • The explosion was powerful enough to lift a minesweeper boat fully out of the water ^N85-86
• Withstands multiple shots from the heavy cruiser Takao, including at point blank range ^MO
  • Takao used all six of her 20.3cm cannons ^N88-89
  • However Dr. Noda, an eyewitness, later claims that the Takao did damage him enough to regenerate ^MO
• Barely even notices a mine blockade ^MO
  • Does it again ^MO
• Gets hit with several tank shells ^MO
  • The novel calls these "a new type of No. 4 tank." Some of them actually bounce off of him and level buildings that they hit ^N113
• He isn't even budged by the shockwave of his Atomic Breath, which flattens all the buildings around him ^MO
• Tanks gunfire from a Shinden plane ^MO
  • The Shinden uses 30mm guns ^MO
• Although Godzilla can survive deep ocean pressures, Dr. Noda believes that rapid changes in pressure from rapidly sinking and raising him from a trench can cause lethal damage. He calculates that Godzilla would be subjected to over 1,500 tons of pressure per square meter ^MO
  • According to the novel, the plan to sink Godzilla into a trench also involved multiple 46cm cannonballs exploding underneath him ^N126
  • Being sunk to 1,500 meters in a matter of seconds stuns him and disables his Atomic Breath, but he's still alive ^MO
  • He's then raised to 700 meters at a similar speed, causing blisters to form on his skin and his eyes to bulge out. However Godzilla delays this process at that point, possibly letting him adjust to the pressure and take less damage when finally fully raised. ^MO
• After his body is destroyed, the largest piece of it is seen regenerating ^MO

Atomic Breath

• Blows up the heavy cruiser Takao ^MO
  • His breath was hot enough to instantly turn the iron hull into a gas ^N89-90
• His blast against the Diet Building has enough power to uproot the buildings it passes over on the way. It explodes on impact, creating a massive shockwave that levels everything around him. ^MO
  • The ray was hot enough to instantly vaporize the Diet Building and everything around it. The shockwave destroys everything within 6 kilometers of ground zero ^N114-116
  • The blast left a massive crater and destroyed up to 20,000 homes and buildings ^MO
• Obliterates two destroyer ships ^MO

Weaknesses

• He's left smoking the after using his Atomic Breath ^MO
  • The novel confirms he took significant damage while using it ^N89-90
  • He has to heal from the backlash of using his breath ^N116
  • Due to this he can't use his Atomic Breath in quick succession, leaving him vulnerable if he can be baited into using it (such as wit unmanned decoy ships). It takes nearly 4 minutes of the movie's runtime for him to "cool down" and use it again. ^MO
• His Atomic Breath takes a long time to charge up, seemingly between 20-30 seconds (give or take for cinematic timing) ^MO
• The inside of his mouth is far more vulnerable than his hide; a sea mine in his mouth blows half his face off (although he regenerates) ^MO
  • After witnessing this, Shikishima thinks that a larger explosive payload to the inside of his mouth would kill him ^MO
  • A description of the bombs used in this plan ^MO
  • After Godzilla is already injured by rapid changed in water pressure, these bombs inside his mouth blow his head off right as he's about to use his Atomic Breath. Unable to release the energy properly, it burns through his body and causes it to crumble to pieces ^MO

Other

• His teeth are sharp enough to cut a metal wire when ocean waves rub it against them ^N84
• He's estimated to be significantly longer than the Ikuno. ^N97-98 The Ikuno is an Ukuru-class ship, and is 70.7 meters (255 feet) long
  • His leg alone has a diameter of 10 meters, and his weight instantly collapses the Sukiyabashi Bridge when he steps on it ^N102-103
  • He's over 50 meters tall ^{N104, 108}
• He remembers being injured by the guns of the Takao, and thus targets two other destroyers with his Atomic Breath before they can get in range ^N165-167
  • Determines that a cable wrapped around him is a threat despite not knowing what it is ^N170-171

This is an extremely sensitive topic for me to discuss but I also feel like it would be healing for me to share. I don't know if any of this actually counts as SA in the eyes of professionals. I think that collectively all of my experiences may count, at least that's what it feels like to me. I feel very violated, I've always felt like I was a victim of some more severe event but just couldn't remember it. I feel like such a fake, even while typing this I feel like I'm a fake who just wants attention and is secretly just as evil if not more evil somehow than my abusers. I'm also afraid that I'll be blamed and that everyone will side with the Ns in my life, which I know is ridiculous.
My parents didn't have healthy or mature attitudes surrounding sex growing up. There was always some exposure to it at a really young age when under bio dad's watch, mostly from movies that I shouldn't have been allowed to watch(mostly horror). My mom was more of the obsessive and controlling type, she'd cover my eyes at any bit of particulary female nudity. This struck me as odd when I was a kid because I'm a female and literally couldn't understand why I wasn't allowed to see any female in the nude(not even engaging in any activity) in any film. I even remember an aunt telling my mom that she was wrong for that because that's my body too. So overall between both of my parents there was alot of either shame and obsessiveness or carelessness.
⚠️My relationship with my Nsister was always very subservient. She was 5 years older than me and always very selfish and lazy. She'd always tell me to do stuff for her. I've only truly realized that she is a Narcissist like our mom and stepdad about a year ago so my perception of her for most of my life was very skewered until now. When I was really little around the age of 5 I remember her taking me with her to the bathroom when she was on her period and trying to "educate" me about it and showing me her bloody pad. She did this more than once and would essentially do this without my asking her to. I wasn't constantly badgering her with questions about periods, I didn't even know what periods were at the time.
Around the same time she'd start teaching me about lesbians and we'd play with my barbies together(I can't remember how in detail) though she seemed hesitant to if there was company around like our other cousins. Though she didn't seem to care too much if our GC cousin was there with us who was the same age as her who she was basically best friends with. As she got alittle older she started writing fanfiction but primarily erotica and she would read these stories to me, again all happening when I was really little. As more time went on she'd continue to try to "educate" me on sex, including intercourse using objects and looking back I can tell that she definitely got some kind of satisfaction out of it based on her facial expression that I can vividly remember. She always had some kind of smirk..she even showed me a porn video once that everyone was talking about at the time... I'd never ask her to, it was always her bringing this stuff up and then showing me or "educating" me on it.
The worst memory I have is literally unbelievable, as in if you don't believe me I completely understand. This happened when I was maybe in 4th grade and it happened a couple times maybe a few and I feel rage just remembering it. Our cousin who was and still is the GC would come to sleepover, again her and nsister were always hanging out and very close which now is a no brainer for me like seriously go figure. And if that is confusing for anyone, nsister and I were both abused by our nmom, I was treated as the GC for only 2 years(when I was little) before our mom met our stepdad and then began hating us both more equally. I've been nmoms favorite scapegoat ever since I started highschool and nsister is more of a GC now though our cousin is still slightly preferred over her. The first couple of times it happened I gaslighted myself and was too anxious to react. We'd sleep in the same room and at night when we went to bed they'd do stuff to eachother. The first time the bed shifting woke me up but otherwise it was quiet so out of anxiety and panic I managed to convince myself that I must be wrong about them doing something..especially in the same room and on the same bed as me. This happened a couple more times and the louder it got I mustered up the courage to speak up and confront them and without missing a beat our GC cousin would lie and say she was finding nsister's "tickle spot." I don't know what else to say, I realize how this is so fucked up and I hated her for a long time after she did this. I realize this post is mega long so I'll just stop here. She started to shame me for the attraction I started showing towards sexually explicit movie scenes and for awhile now I've been feeling so ashamed and disgusted with my younger self. I can relate to alot of SA victims stories over in the CPTSD subreddit and it feels like I finally understand why.

I figured I'd do a more detailed write up for current residents with busy schedules that need some reassurance or inspo. I had very little time to study (2 weeks) and passed (24x)! No DMs please
Background:
MCAT: 515
Step 1: pass, only studied for 3 days because I took it right after step 2 lol
Step 2: 25x, had 6 week dedicated period at the end of my third year of med school
USMD graduate, traditional student. Current intern (PGY1) completing a transitional style year before starting anesthesia residency (I matched to separate prelim and advanced positions). My intern year includes rotations in internal medicine, surgery, pediatrics and emergency medicine. I have done rotations in those fields EXCEPT emergency (end the year on that). I have not done any OB/GYN or outpatient clinic (in any field) since early third year of med school.
I didn't do any step studying prior to my 2 week study block, and my schedule had me finishing a MICU 27h call💀 I started studying Mon 5/6 on my post call day, day 1 of the exam was Fri 5/17, day 2 Mon 5/20 (technically during my EM block oops). Goal was only to pass as my score has no bearing on my residency spot or future fellowships (if I decide to do a fellowship)
Resources
I got lucky and had friends give me their login info for UWorld (fresh reset) and CCS cases, so I only purchased UWSA1 (did not do any other self assessments). I basically only used UW and CCS to study, no other resources. I did watch a Youtube video on what to expect for the CCS cases as a quick intro to the format/interface. Considered doing Anki again as that was super helpful for step 2 but figured it wasn't going to be of much use in 2 weeks.
Studying
I did timed blocks of 40 random questions, 3-4 blocks per day, every day leading up to day 1 of my test. I took UWSA1 on the Mon before my exam (4 days prior) and scored 218. I made sure to finish the biostats and legal/ethics sections of Uworld before day 1 so I did focused blocks of those during the second week.
I did a couple of CCS cases prior to day 1 to get a feel but really dialed in and ran through them on the days between my exam. I completed 50ish cases between day 1 and day 2 and had them sorted by high yield. It was helpful to write down age and sex on the paper and then note what healthcare maintence/counseling things they needed (i.e. toxic habits, vaccinations, cancer screening, etc) so that I didn't have to scramble during the last 2 min. The IT SCARS mnemonic is helpful! I also used VOMICAAA and CUTE T3 for the cases.
UWorld: 45% completed prior to day 1 @ 67% correct
UWSA1: 218, completed 4 days prior to exam
CCS cases: completed 52 cases, not sure about my average % since my friend had already done a lot of the cases before giving me the acount info, i'd guesstimate ~65-70%?
Exam Days and Reflections
As everyone says, day 1 is biostats/ethics/drug ads and step 1 pharm heavy. I was prepared for the biostats/ethics since I knew that was the low hanging fruit, I did my best with pharm but definitely didn't know all of the MOA. Everything else I was just sort of winging it lol.
The MCQ on day 2 is super annoying and not anything that I regularly do on a day-to-day in the hospital. It's a lot about risk factors, prognosis, and how to counsel patients after theyre diagnosed with something. I wasn't sure how to study for that so I went in with the mindset that I may just have to take the L on it. I found some PDF about risk factors (was made for step 1) that I skimmed through briefly before day 2 as well.
The cases were basically as expected. I think half of mine ended early. There was only one case where I knew I was missing something but just didn't know what else to do in order to end the case so I took the L there. Accidentally ordered something invasive that wasn't needed. One of the last cases wouldn't load, so the proctor had to reset my computer and move me to another one. I almost cried
I felt terrible after both exam days and was prepared to have to retake it. I wished I had done a more in depth review of pharm prior to day 1 and also wished I had done more of UWorld. Didn't have time to wallow in self pity though because I started in the ED the following day. Super thrilled about the final result and in some ways I'm happy I didn't spend more time studying (but only because I know I passed)

The 20kw generator I currently have is natural gas and connected to the main panel through an automatic transfer switch. It covers all my electrical loads during power outages.
With that in place: - Would it be within code (& allowed by utility) to feed the panel (therefore on the house side of the transfer switch) from a solar inverter? - Would a grid tie system see the generator as "the grid" and provide power?
The thought process behind this question:

• During 'normal operation' I'd have the advantages of grid tie and get a rebate for excess power.
• During 'blackout operations' I would also minimize the use of natural gas generator by continuing to power most loads from solar when available.

Rationale: Since the generatotransfer switch is protecting the grid from the power being generated on premises it seems reasonable that adding solar would be no additional risk for the grid.
With grid tie solar the solar power would shut off when the grid is lost, and I assume it would restart after it sensed the generator producing a stable 60hz voltage.
(Now, if on the other hand it was NOT a grid tie system, there might be a 15-30 second period after the power went out and before the transfer switch kicked in when it would be likely for solar production to hit the grid. I'm sure the utility would have an issue with this.)
Has anyone done the research on this, or possibly have/seen something like this installed? Pointers to something my google searches missed?
Thanks folks!

I ran out of Bc a week into my new pack. Should I double down for the days I missed and continue to the original date I was set to stop the pack, or just start taking one a day again and start my period later in the month? Im not worried about pregnancy /not sexually active I only take it for acne and PMDD. Im confused and I feel like my body is so confused too lol.