I apologize, the reason this is so long is because 1.) I suck at summarizing 2.) backstory of some sort is needed to understand this excuse of a man and/or human being. 3.) I’m not a good storyteller, but you are, Charlotte, and I know you can take this mess of info and turn it into a beautiful, long-time-coming, petty revenge story for your channel. Because what is more petty than an herbal, flowery Trojan horse no one knows about?
Cast: OP-me Swister- my older sister Mom - mine and my sister’s mom, grandmother to Trish/Patty BIL- exactly who it says, and a huge butthole. Patty/Trish - the same person, a four year old little girl, product of union between BIL and Swister.
Some (bit rambling to explain some stuff) backstory:
Last winter, to get out of the horrible, freezing, painfully striking sleet (it would not pass over our town, was just there, stuck in a vortex, for what seemed like eternity) of January in our hometown (we were always just a couple degrees away from it being snow, and quite a few times we got lots of hail, some as big as softballs, and could damage cars and punch through windshields, etc. I know this sounds like ‘The Long Winter’ by Laura Ingalls Wilder, but both me and my mom (I’m disabled and have to live with someone to help in every day life, I’m not a high school dropout living in mommy’s basement playing fortnight or assassin’s creed and have memorized cheat codes. The only video games I’ve ever played were duck hunt, which my grandpa actually got for himself bc he loved to hunt, so I only got to play it in turns with my five other cousins when we visited him); and N64’s Zelda:Ocarina of Time. I hope those titles illustrate for you the last time I played a video game. Oh! And the Oregon Trail, but I always died of some disease that doesn’t happen today or is curable with fluids, rest, and maybe some penicillin. But I digress.) but both me and my mom and my older sister (who was pregnant at the time) and BIL moved about 15 minutes down a little used two lane highway. And when my niece was born late 2019, we named her Patricia after my grandmother. (Patty or Trish for short).
My BIL claims he can smell everything ten times better than any other human, ‘probably because I’m an Alpha Male, and I need heightened senses to protect my pack, my family.’ Okay, I won’t deny he is sensitive to scent, but if his food doesn’t come out smelling right (almost always made special order bc of his ‘allergies’ (that’s what he tells the waitress; in reality, he just doesn’t want stuff he doesn’t like on his plate, and is too fucking lazy to just take the single pickle chip off the McDonald’s cheeseburger. If half of America can do it, why not him? ‘I might smell and taste it with my superhuman olfactory senses.’ He said with a very sincere, serious tone and face, like I was in special education and couldn’t understand it was 1,2,3, not 1,3,2. He is an arrogant misogynistic asshole. My sister could have done sooooooo much better. Idk y she chose him to marry (for a general idea of all what he looks like, speaks like, and sounds like (minus the slight lisp) is the video of the ‘dating coach’ who took the video in his car, opening it with ‘you do not have to accept her rejection, say things like I’m the best, why wouldn’t you want me, you should see my basement with ropes and pulleys and hooks, and do you know what a did with her that night? Well, it’s not appropriate to talk about on this platform”… yeah, that guy, except for the lisp, could be my BIL IDENTICAL twin. Anyway, now you know BIL is a creepy, asshole, bastard with no sense of boundaries or personal space, who think women are lesser than him. Moving on.
I also suffer from anxiety, insomnia, and a few other things that require me to take meds that can slow down your breathing, so if I can take care of my pain, anxiety, and insomnia without having to take a narcotic or benzo, and it works, I choose that path first. Some of these ways are ice packs, heating pads, a special herbal tea, aromatherapy, yoga, sleeping surrounded by pillows like I were in a nest, making sure to do a little bit of some exercise and always taking my daily walks (I don’t want the pain to get so bad from being sedentary I will require a wheelchair before I absolutely have to) and don’t always want to be popping clonapen or oxy or morphine all day and falling asleep, especially around my niece. I don’t want her to ever believe pills fix problems.
So to escape the horrible winter in our new home environment, my mom decided to use her saved-up reward points and book us all a ten day trip to Disney Aulani Hawaii, specifically Disney bc of my niece. My mom and I had been there before, in 2020, right when resorts opened back up at much less than capacity because of COVID rules, and we had gone for a week, so I knew they had an awesome spa I could spend my saved vacation money on.
The minute we step into our two bedroom, two full bath (each with both a shower and separate tubs!), an ok sized but capable kitchen, and a nice, big, comfy furniture filled common room/living room. All of my stuff I put in the room I’d be sharing with my mom, then took my niece to go and get her first Shirley Temple (they are a virgin cocktail I have loved as a kid, still do, that are super easy to make the ghetto way - diet 7up (diet taste better in the cocktail, idk why, it just the way the Gods have decreed it so), grenadine, and maraschino cherries (as many as you want, but kids usually get two and adults one. I think this is unfair) and tada! You have a Shirley Temple.
So I’m walking back to the room, both of us holding our reusable drink cups for our stay (if you bring the cup with you, you get any non alcoholic drink for free during your stay. Coolcool.) And I open the door and hear my mom and sister begging BIL to just stop it, let it go, just enjoy the ten days here. BIL is in MY room, going through MY things, yelling at mom and sis to leave him alone, he has to find it, it reeks, etc. I’m like, GTFO of my stuff, this is extremely violating, sister, are you not concerned and pissed he is pawing through my bra and panties right now, ‘looking for hidden pockets’?
Finally, he grabs this 15 or 20 mL vial I have, a pain relieving roll on I use for my migraines and tension headaches, about $55 after tax, not including S&H. I had left my almost empty one at home, and this was a brand new vial, safety wrapping still on. He blames me, said I was trying to ruin ‘his hard earned vacation’ (he has no job, only looks after my niece enough to feed her (most of the time) and my sister had to find a high -enough paying job so she could work from home so she could do every job like she were a single mother. The only chore he does, and only like 65% of the time (they love to eat out and/or order in) is cooking, and as much as I hate him, sometimes his dishes are good. Not phenomenal, like he practically requires everyone to praise it as, even if he just added sage basil and oregano to a frozen pizza.
So I ask, “how the hell can you smell that? There is the outer plastic seal and the inner lid seal?” And he goes off on being an Alpha Males and olfactory nonsense. Then he takes the vial and runs out of the room with it. He takes it to a housekeeping services cart several doors down and spikes I into her trash can, which by the thunk sound the vial made told me not only was her trash nearly or almost nearly empty, and that he had broken and wasted a valuable medical tool because he is batshit crazy and doesn’t see me as a person outside of how I interact with his everyday life, like I’m a NPC who doesn’t exist or say anything until a real person player comes into my field of awareness. He pawed through every item I owned, including underwear and opening my tampons one to sniff (I especially bought no scented for this trip, and he went and ruined a whole box of them (I’m not putting a previously opened and practically stuck up my BIL’s nose tampons! It’s not just unsanitary, it’s gross on so many levels! I also save up what little money I have leftover from my SSDI monthly checks, so over several months, I had saved up to buy that, bc it worked where others just smelled good but didn’t take the tension headache or migraine away. He has never had to pay for things with his own money, so has no concept of it, of saving money, of worth.
I stewed and stewed and I knew I had to be as petty as possible and still not get caught. I was still thinking these thoughts on our third to last day while I got an unusual massage at the Aulani spa. First is usual deep tissue massage, but then they rub your back and skin with tingly oils and take what looks like the contents of a bag of tea (very heady and fragrant in that small room) and rub it all over you, wrap you up for 15 min, scrape it off you, also taking excess body oil and dead skin cells with it as it goes. And then, smelling all those wonderful scents, I had a genius thought. As she scraped the herbs and stuff off my skin into a bowl, I asked for a to go bag for the herbs, and pretended I wanted to put them in a foot bath I was giving myself tonight in my room. Shockingly, they agreed, and gave me all the scrapings, herbs, essential &body oils, and dead skin cells, in a linen drawstring bag they said I could just toss the whole bag into the hot water.
Now, when I travel, I always pack duct tape in my checked baggage. To make sure shampoo, conditioner, lotion, stuff like that, wet and messy? So it will stay in the bottle with the top duct taped both on shut and to the top of the bottle. Nobody was in the room; they were taking a hike my physical disabilities made very challenging (like an 7-8/10 for me, and a 3.4.5/10 for them) over broken terrain and off trail a bit to climb to a waterfall, so I had said ‘I’m going to the spa. Peace!’ So nobody was back from the hike yet, but I had no idea when they would be, so I acted fast. I grabbed my duct tape and went into sister and BIL’s room and squished and squiggled my way as far under the bed as I could, an duct taped the linen bag of herbs and scrapings right under where he would lay his head to rest at night (according to his ‘Alpha Wolf’ status, he was always on the side of the bed between the door and the rest of his collectables in his room.
We had that day, two more days, and three nights left. BIL did not sleep a wink during that entire time - he had housekeeping change the bedding (including duvets and their covers) several times in that small frame of time, and demanded of my mom to rent him (on my moms dime, not this 40 y o mans money, the mooching leach, but her carefully budgeted money and visa card points hoarded over years.) his own, just perfectly sanitized room, obviously something had been left here by a former guest that was rotting. Finally, FINALLY my mom and sister had HAD IT. He whined and moaned more than my four yo niece. They finally ripped him a new one, saying he had been acting like an entitled baby man with delusions he is more important than he is, that we as women should fawn over him, and that he had already ruined all of ours, but especially my vacation by tossing my personal property and screaming at me for wearing perfume when I didn't even pack any. At one point I even piped up, ‘I didn’t put up with my father treating me like this, what makes you think I’m gonna take it from you?’ (AN/OP: my father abused me and mom and sister our whole lives. Lots of verbal, emotional, psychological abuse. Sister had it pretty literally; mom had it worst. But when my dad had 100% custody of me at beginning of divorce, my sister went away to college and moved out within the following two weeks, and I was his sole remaining target. For three years straight. Other, even more horrible disgusting things he did to me I’ve only just started to talk about, and don’t want my whole life blasted online while I deal.
So i got my silent, sweet-smelling revenge. For those 3 days and 3 nights, he didn't sleep a wink, which meant he couldn't keep his 'good guy' image up, and everyone saw how he treats me, and I'm no longer a liaexaggerating. I hope some act of God, or him driving around while completely wasted, as he does every single freaking day. He a waste of space, a waste of oxygen.
Again, the reason this is so long is because 1.) I suck at summarizing 2.) backstory of some sort was needed 3.) I’m not a good storyteller, but you are, Charlotte, and I know you can take this mess of info and turn it into a beautiful, long-time-coming, petty revenge story for your channel. Because what is more petty than an herbal, flowery Trojan horse type thing?
PS: he never did repay me for the OVER $300 worth of MY STUFF he upped and just tossed, or first broke then tossed, because it either offended his nose or him, personally, even though he begrudgingly promised to do so, and my sister promised he would. I only had like a 10% belief he would, but he has no money of his own, how was he gonna do that? Yes, I admit, I keep a record of anything I hear about him doing something negative, so one day if my sister even starts to consider divorce, I can whip out journal/notebook and show her his patterns, and he has always been this way, and he won’t ever change.

I’m taking my father (58M) with me (26NB) to Disney this September. We’ve only been once, during 2021, so we’re excited to see WDW back in full swing this time!! We’re big foodies who loved the theming and adventurous dishes of Skipper Canteen in MK on our last visit.
We went to 50’s Prime Time and Docking Bay 7 on our last visit and would like to try somewhere new.
I was considering spots like Backlot Express for the fun theming, but I’ve also heard rave reviews for the Brown Derby.
Any suggestions? Quick service or table service are both fine, though I’d love some air conditioning. I do have sensory issues, so a very loud/echoey spot would not be ideal.

Hi everyone, I’m trying to complete the “A Day at Disney” Star Path and have to duties to cook top-tier disches (entrèe and appetizer).
I’ve cooked multiple different 5 star entrèe and appetizer dishes, but the tasks keeps standing on 0/10.
Does anyone know what I do wrong and how to complete these tasks? (I’m playing on a Switch and closed and restarted the game multiple times.)
Edit: I solved the problem. I only tried to cook at Remy’s. When I cooked somewhere else (forgotten lands) the game registered the dishes.

The joint venture of Disney/ESPN, Fox Corp. and Warner Bros. Discovery to package together a sports streaming bundle has a name — Venu Sports.
“We are excited to officially introduce Venu Sports, a brand that we feel captures the spirit of an all-new streaming home where sports fans outside of the traditional pay TV ecosystem can experience an incredible collection of live sports, all in one place,” Pete Distad, CEO of Venu Sports, said in a statement. “As preparations for the platform continue to accelerate, we are singularly focused on delivering a best-in-class product for our target audience, built from the ground up using the latest technologies to engage and entertain discerning sports fans wanting one-stop access to live games.”
Disney, Fox and WBD unveiled their partnership in February, positioning the new streaming bundle as a way to reach consumers who don’t subscribe to pay TV. It’s pegged to debut in the fall of 2024. The trio in March announced the hiring of Distad, who worked for a decade at Apple and most recently was responsible for Apple TV+ business, operations and global distribution. Distad is based out of the Venu Sports offices in L.A.
Pricing and a specific launch date haven’t been announced for Venu, which will combine ESPN+ with the three companies’ linear TV networks that carry sports programming (ABC, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNU, SECN, ACCN, ESPNews, Fox, FS1, FS2, Big Ten Network, TNT, TBS and truTV).
When the joint venture was announced, some had jokingly dubbed it “Spulu,” a mash-up of “sports” and “Hulu,” which had originally been formed as a JV among TV broadcasters.
The venture also launched a new website at venu.com. A notice at the bottom of the landing page says, “Launch is conditional on receiving regulatory approval and is expected for Fall 2024.” The site’s terms of service indicate that it’s operated by “Rookie Enterprises, LLC,” a subsidiary of Fox Corp. In announcing the new name, the three companies also noted that the JV is still pending the “finalization of definitive agreements amongst the parties.”
The Justice Department reportedly has planned to review the three-way venture to look at anticompetitive implications, and last month two leading congressional Democrats expressed concerns that the JV may “result in higher prices for consumers and less fair licensing terms for upstream sports leagues and downstream video distributors.” Meanwhile, streaming TV provider Fubo filed a federal lawsuit seeking to block the JV service’s launch, alleging the venture violates antitrust laws. On May 2, Fubo, DirecTV, Dish Network, Newsmax and others sent a letter to members of Congress calling for hearings on the state of competition in the pay-TV market, specifically calling out the Disney-Fox-WBD joint venture as “rais[ing] serious competition concerns that call for Congress’s immediate oversight.”
Venu (pronounced “venue”) will be made available directly to consumers via a new app, the companies said. Subscribers will also have the ability to purchase it in a bundle, including with Disney+, Hulu or Max.
The JV’s new name and brand identity were developed in partnership with GA, a global design and advertising firm. According to a spokesperson for the company, the Venu Sports name “takes inspiration from where live sports lives: the stadiums, arenas, speedways, octagons, courts, rinks, ballparks and more, where fans come to watch and connect with the action.”
Source: https://variety.com/2024/digital/news/venu-sports-streaming-disney-fox-warner-bros-discovery-1236006111/

Please note this is the original submission I sent Refinery29. In the current post,they have given me a second credit card with a 100$ balance, as well as generational trauma from World War II and cut context for other things. I am trying to get that fixed.
Per previous discussion in comments here: The espresso machine is a Bezzera, which ranges from 2-5K. We got ours on sale for 1.7K, it’s a work house and we use it everyday, still hurts that we spent that money on a coffee maker.
I do understand mortgage is debt but when you compare it to rent to a lesser value condo in Vancouver it feels like not debt at all, which is how I tend to think of it. Yes I owe my mortgage but also I get my house instead of renting-which may not have become clear.
Please see in full the diary, below (edit for formatting via mobile)
Occupation: Sr Business Analyst
Industry: Tech
Age: 30
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Salary: 92,000$ (Spouse makes 60,000$ for a combined income of 152,000$ before tax)
Net Worth: ~ 1.2 Million ( house is valued at 989,000$ currently, we have a combined 150,000 in pension, and ~60,000 in various company stocks, and GICs)
Debt: 3,000$ in a zero interest credit card for a 10 month period. We balanced transferred and pay 400$/month. Debt was acquired in Q4 2023 when we had to buy Snow Tires, and do a full break replacement as well as Christmas. 480,000$ in a mortgage, we refinanced in September 2023 for five years fixed rate at accelerated biweekly, however I don’t consider our mortgage debt due to the equity we are gaining, and that our mortgage for a five bedroom, 3 bath single family home is less than rent for a two bedroom condo in Vancouver
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): 2,555$ after taxes. (Just mine). Spouse makes 2,308$ after taxes. Our pay periods are alternating.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: 1450$ biweekly (100$ extra to the principal).
Utilities: ~200$ (includes water [paid quarterly], hydro [paid bimonthly], gas, sewetrash [paid quarterly] phone [highly discounted due to work plans for spouse and myself] and car gas) Loan Payments: 400$/Credit Card
Car Insurance: 84$
Life Insurance: 167$ combined (67$ me, 100$ spouse)
Health & Dental Insurance: 60$ deducted from pay (coverage for myself and spouse from my employer. Spouse also has coverage for both of us deducted from pay)
Retirement Contribution: 400$ (Employee matches me), (Spouse has a defined pension through work and contributes ~200$ month)
Union fees: 70$ Spouse
Subscriptions: Crave 22$/month (Recent splurge for Binge watching the Rookie), Playstation Plus 100$ (annual bought on Black Friday Deal), Amazon Prime 80$ (Annual), BCAA 120$ (annual) Gym 30$/month (we both have one so 15$/pp)
Note: My spouse and I have completely commingled finances. I will be tracking both as it’s essentially I spent whatever they spent
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was always the expectation. My father was very clear, we were very smart. There was no way we’d be wasting our potential. He wanted me to be a lawyer, but unlike other immigrant parents, I got to choose my major and went into social sciences and got my masters in history. I deferred my PhD too much so I got dropped by the program.
I chose my university by where I got a full first year scholarship and then after that took about 15k in student loans for my undergraduate. My parents paid my rent and I got a part time job for food.
For my masters, I had a student line of credit and 5 k student loans otherwise it was all my savings and scholarships. With the line of credit, I had a total of 30K in student loans and paid it off in about four years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Save. We talked about how you get a dollar allowance and half of it goes into long term saving with 25% in short term and 25% in spend.
Investing came after I was eighteen. Family would like us to invest in property, however I don’t really want to be a landlord, but also we wouldn’t get to really enjoy profit of owning a rental property due to other family circumstances.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ice cream parlour I was twelve and my parents made me get it for responsibility. I lasted three weeks because I hated it.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I grew up thinking we were not rich, because we didn’t get big plane vacations (I didn’t count flying from Toronto to Vancouver every summer as a vacation since we were just seeing family but staying in a house my parents owned) and I had only been to Disney twice.
But we had a big new build house in the rich end of town, my mom stayed home to raise all of us. We had to work for things (like going to see a movie opening night or a new CD) but we always had money and got what we wanted. In retrospect, my family was/is fairly well off.
Both my parents grew up poor, with parents working multiple jobs and different shifts to make ends meet, the strive/drive to not have that childhood, and for my father to be able to retire his parents really impacted mine and my siblings and cousins lives. My father showed me the apartment he grew up in Chinatown a few years back. It’s light years away from the house my grandparents owned when I was a kid and how I grew up.
Do you worry about money now?
Of course. Inflation is real and we are actively planning a wedding for the next year, as well as a baby in the next few years. We also need to buy a second car, so we’re saving for that.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Fully financially responsible? Twenty five. I lived in a family property where I didn’t pay rent in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, so even though I paid all my bills (food and phone), I didn’t have to pay rent. I in fact made money, as I rented rooms out and used the income for house utilities, and paying my student loans down faster. When I moved in with my spouse, I just paid condo fees until we bought our house two years ago which gave me plenty of time to save.
Our financial safety net is family, and our savings. I know my family would bail us out. My spouse’s father would as well. Conversely, we are my spouse’s mother's safety net and we have to keep all our plans in mind that we will be subsidising her.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received 50K from my parents once they sold my childhood home, as did both of my siblings. I have also received 10K from one set of grandparents which paid off my car and part of my student loans when I was 21. I will be receiving another inheritance when probate is done for around ~100K. My spouse also has received inheritance which allowed them to buy their first condo in their early twenties when the market was much better. That condo, 50k, and the subsequent upgrading helped us afford our house.
Day 1
10 AM: I drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Not how I want to start my Sunday morning but y’know. Normally I’d walk since it’s about 20 minutes but I have a UTI. I’m “lucky” that despite not having a dr because of the health care shortage, my work pays for the Maple app so I could get a dr to write the prescription and order the lab work at 1 am. I’ll do the lab work later this week when I can get an appointment but will take the relief now. Insurance makes the antibiotics free, but I also buy hydrogen peroxide because we’re out and we have a dog that thinks everything is meant to be in her mouth. We’ll buy a bigger one at Costco later. I also bought some oral wound mouthwash because we were out. I come home and my spouse made us breakfast.
Total: 15.90$ paid with debit.
1-2:30 PM: We do our taxes. I have a mini meltdown when I realize the part time bakery job I had for a few months didn’t take off income tax last year, so I owe 800$. Luckily, my partner is getting a refund so we net out positive 400$. The bakery took off income tax in 2022, so unsure why they didn’t in 2023. I made us lunch.
3-6:30 PM: We walk the dog, and watch the Rookie. Some time during that time period, a venue emails us back and is surprisingly affordable at 3k. I also get told that the tattoo artist I want to book with, has not chosen me.
6:30-7:30 PM: I explain what lazy girl dinner is to my spouse and make a lazy girl dinner. After not really grocery shopping since Feb for things besides fresh veg, we need to do a big pantry shop and neither of us want that. We debate about buying a food saver and if we should wait for a sale. My spouse is more frugal than me and has determined we should.
8-9:30 PM: We start season 3 of The Rookie, and then after two episodes we go to bed
Day One Total: 15.90$
Day Two
5:45-8 AM: Wake up and start work. I get up to date with what’s happened on the weekend and check that my automated reports. Sometime before 6:30, I get the kettle on for my spouse’s pour over before I go back to my meetings. There’s a twenty minute gap where I get changed and do my skin care and brush my teeth. I’d love to be a skin care person but honestly I’ve spent too much money on product that I don’t use and that just goes bad. Washing my face and using sun screen is a win.
I also make sure that Spouse’s lunch is in his bag and I get our travel mugs ready. Before, we used to go to Starbucks every day. Starbucks used to do free refills on coffee and tea if you were a rewards member if you bought a coffee or tea so it would cost us $5/day (2.5/pp), and we could get refills all day. While that’s 20$/week, 80$/a month and yes, we could have saved it but back then, that 80$ wasn’t turning the dial anywhere significantly for us—a privileged view.
But now, after COVID where I stopped drinking tea after one day working from home having like 10 cups and thinking I was dying, and Spouse has bought a good grinder and we recently splurged on a stupidly expensive espresso machine we call his Engagement Espresso since it costs the same price as my stupidly expensive ring, we bring our coffees.
8-8:30 AM: We drive to work. Prior to buying our house, we were both work from home and lived in a city with amazing transit. We only needed the one car. Since buying the house and moving to a city where public transit is a joke (the one bus goes past our house every 1.5h), Spouse changed jobs and is in office every day and I have to go in 3 days a week. We need a second car or the e-bike rebate to come through. We debate this in the car, since I’m done at 1 pm, and Spouse works normal hours, I either have to take the bus home, or go to the gym for three hours. Today though, I drop Spouse off. I will pick him up later as he has a half day because of the dentist
8:30-12:30 AM/PM: Work. I find a tech manager and ask them to get me more triple a batteries. Work won’t provide or let me expense batteries for my mouse, despite them replacing my usb mouse with a battery one. The poor admin had to tell me the decision is that we’ll all supply our own batteries. Luckily the tech managers have to have batteries on hand and give them out freely.
I ask my boss how the work from home tax forms work, and he is going to find out.
I run more meetings and work on a request for a dashboard and a business case for a new feature that I have to convince leadership to spend money on.
12:30-1 PM: I drive back to my Spouse because he has a dentist appointment.
While I wait for a spouse, I am incredibly hungry. I’m usually not hungry/don’t eat a proper meal until around 1 in the afternoon and my two granola bars I already ate at the office. I go to the bakery by Spouse’s work and buy a cheese bun for me (3.65$), and an apple pie scone (2.55$) for Spouse as a snack. Spouse points out he won’t be able to eat until after his appointment.
Total: 6.20$ debit
1-1:30 PM: I drop Spouse off, and the car stops working. The engine won’t catch. I try multiple times and then run into the dentist to dramatically announce to Spouse and the receptionists that the car won’t start. Spouse asks me what he wants me to do about this, since he’s about to go into an appointment. A very kind receptionist tells me it might be the alternator. I don’t know what that is.
I go back to the car to Facetime my father. He also asks what I think he can do to help since he lives 3000 km away. Weirdly, and sexistly, I thought a man who grew up at race tracks, in a racing family, or the man who has collected and worked on sports cars for forty years might be able to help.
Spouse texts me to remind me we have BCAA while my father also tells me that. I finally get the engine to catch and drive the very long way home, going the speed limit and getting stuck in traffic, construction and a bus. It takes me 20 minutes to get home instead of 10.
1:30-2:30 PM: I walk the dog, mail a (late) birthday card and then start researching what an alternator is. The car is over a decade old and until the house, the most expensive thing I ever bought at 12K back in 2015. We have the funds for the cost, but it’s my first car and the fact it might be the end of its life is scary.
Alternators can cost between 400-800$ repair with labour, so that’s fun.
My dad calls me back and apologises for asking me what he could do away. He advises me that there’s probably a bald spot on the alternator and advises me to go to the mechanic to check or replace it, if the car doesn’t start again.
I call the mechanic to book an appointment, and to also get the snow tires off and to buy new rims for the snow tires. The mechanic lets me know that the alternator part is 500$, and an hour of labour so with taxes we’re looking at around 700$
That future appointment next week (we’re going down a highway this weekend which requires snow tires) will cost ~1.5K, assuming we replace the alternator.
I make lunch and sigh.
2:30 PM: The car starts thankfully. I drive incredibly slow. I pick up Spouse by idling the car. We get an email back from a venue saying they cost 75,000$ minimum. The timing is hysterical.
Due to the nature of the dentist, Spouse owes 618$, as they haven’t flipped it under my insurance. They split it in half, as he has a follow up in two weeks. After the next appointment they will flip the whole amount under me and we’ll get reimbursed for the whole amount.
Total 309$/credit card.
3-10 PM: We walk the dog, make dinner (Spouse makes white sauce pasta, with chicken and peas) and watch The Rookie. There are thirteen episodes in season three, and we will be busy every night this week besides Friday and Sunday, and I would like to finish season three so we can start season 4 next Monday. I don’t want to pay for more than one month of Crave. We have five episodes left
Day Two Total: 315.2$
Day Three
1 AM: 100$ is automatically transferred from our account to the credit card debit. We have an auto transfer of 100$/every Tuesday to a Visa where we balance transferred both our cards. We have an offer for 0 interest for 10 months, so we did that for some of the bigger expenses (snow tires, break replacement and general Christmas) and are on track to pay it back within the next 6 months. That visa is our emergency card that we just have in the back end and utilise for promos like this. It allows us to keep our two cards balances manageable and lets us pay in an easier way than taking big chunks out of our various savings.
Total: 100$/direct deposit
5:45-9 AM: Work. Meetings, reports, trying to convince a colleague that the process does include them and refusal to follow it means that their requests won’t be done. Spouse has another half day so I can go into the office at my leisure—if the car starts
9-9:20 AM: The car starts, I get into the office and refresh a data flow before a meeting with a new stake holder. It takes longer to drive into work today because the tourists are starting to come and their van builds or campers are not exactly highway speed and with a two lane highway, if you don’t merge over fast enough you’re stuck.
10:05-10:20 AM: Meeting done, car starts again and I drive home for more meetings. The least amount of time in the office is preferable for me.
10:30-11AM : Meeting with my manager where we discuss future salary and promotion. I am due for a promotion in the start of Q2, which would push me to six figures. I’ll believe it when I see it but, I’m really excited at that possibility for my family.
11:15 AM: Spouse leaves for work, we discuss what groceries are needed, as well if he’ll go to Home Depot tonight to buy more clover seeds for the yard, as we need to reseed before it starts raining. I eat a muffin and my dog and cat decide to try and eat each other.
11:15-1:30 PM: Work runs late. There’s some issues with the data and we can’t figure it out. We call it a night, and I’ll record the video presentations tomorrow, once we fix the data.
1:30-4 PM: Nap time! It’s bad for me, but honestly I don’t sleep well during the night so naps are what keep me alive.
4-6 PM I prep dinner (smash burgers and fries), and get chores done and walk the dog.
6-7:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we eat dinner. Groceries come to 96.83 for two 7 pound pork loins, two packs of bacon, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop, 8 pack of peppers, milk, tomato, pickles, rice, avocado, mushrooms, sour cream and lettuce.
Not too bad, we average about 300$/month in groceries because we can buy bulk and have a second freezer.
For the month of March we are currently at 123.61$ for groceries and there is twelve days left. We went on a small weekend away, so we ate out a fair bit but even then our current food budget is 272.27$ today.
Total: 96.83/ debit
7:30-10 PM: Spouse makes a coffee and plays video games with his friends. They do it every week. I have a shower, fold and put away laundry and read in bed.
Day Three Total: 196.83
Day Four
1AM: Our biweekly accelerated mortgage payment comes out of 1450$. I’m tracking it here to be honest on our spending but I tend not to think of it as money spent because in my head it’s already money gone. To pay for a house equivalent in Vancouver, the mortgage would be over 6k. Renting a two bedroom condo would be 3K. It feels like the mortgage is just cheaper rent, even though each time I own more of my house.
5:45-9 AM: Work. I find out the limits of how many people I can invite to a Teams Meeting as well as that the Thursday before Good Friday is a catholic holiday when a few people ask me to reschedule a training forum for over a thousand people. Sometime in there I make us coffee, make sure Spouse has lunch packed (leftovers). Spouse has walked the dog and has the recycling and compost out for pick up. I drop Spouse off at work.
10-11:45 AM: I leave the office for home and more meetings. I walk the dog and go record training videos. I get an email that Amazon is doing their big spring sale. I send a link to a robot mop and vaccum that’s on a big discount to Spouse. We want one, but I’m not in charge of the research on it. I send links to play grounds to my friends with toddlers
11:45-12:30 PM : I shove lunch in my mouth, last night’s left overs. I’m running late, and decide to get myself later by collecting all the random dishes and mugs that just show up places and start the dishwasher. I get to the lab ten minutes early but need to buy gas on the way home.
I tell my team I’ll be MIA for a bit and leave the work phone in the car.
I buy 15.6L of gas for 30$ at 1.879/l it sucks. I don’t fill up because we’re going to my in laws this weekend and there’s a Costco Gas Bar there.
Total: 30$/credit card
12:30-1:30 PM: Work goes long again.
1:30-2:30 PM: Nap!
2:30-4:30 PM: Walk the dog and drive to the gym. I usually go three times a week but with last week’s weekend away and this week’s weird half days from Spouse, today’s the only day. I make it up by doing both upper and lower body and a 30 minute circuit.
4:30-7:30 PM: I pick up Spouse and we go to Costco. We pick up nachos, ham, cheese buns and some other items. We debate buying our friend’s kid a toddler set of clothes and decide no. We end up buying work pants for Spouse, and a garden hose. It comes out to 116.90
I order our Costco dinner of hot dogs and fries for a grand total date night of 6.41$
Total: 123.31/ credit card
8-9 PM: Dance class! We bought a series of six lessons of introduction to ballroom back in December for a new date night idea. We paid 60$/pp and this is the fifth lesson tonight.
9 pm: We’re home, we let the dog out. Spouse spends an undetermined amount of time watching ballroom videos while I sleep.
Day Four Total: 1603.31$ or 153.31 excluding the mortgage payment.
Day Five
5:45-9 AM: Work. All the meetings. Thursday is the meeting day. I debate with a friend what’s the earliest call we’ve had. 4:30 am still wins. I pack lunch for Spouse and his coffee and he leaves. I end up cleaning up cat puke as the cat decides to drink milk from Spouse’s cereal and vomit it up on camera in a meeting.
9-9:30 AM: I make myself a matcha and walk the dog.
9:30-1 PM: Work and I treat myself to a lunch of a cheese bun and ham sandwhich. We used to eat it every Sunday while growing up but the cost of ham has been outrageous. The deal at Costco yesterday was 1.5$/100 g which is really good.
1-1:30 PM: I seal the wooden deer Christmas decoration we bought last year. It sits outside our front door and needs to be weather proofed, and I’ve been putting it off for five months. But the weather is good and we have newspapers. We have left over wood sealer after the sign we bought a year ago so I use that. The dog and the cat both don’t like my wooden deer.
1:30-4 PM: Nap!
4-5 PM: I basically just watch youtube and drink a root beer. I have no energy.
5-6:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog and I make dinner (Kraft Dinner and nuggets–I swear we eat veggies but today is not that day). We discuss the possibility of our dog at our wedding as a flower girl, and if she’ll be in a tutu or a cheongsam like me. I am now researching if they make dog cheongsams and if she can match us. The cat, despite all my heart wanting it, won’t physically be there because he will have an anxiety attack and probably die.
6:30-10:30 PM: Board game night! We go to a friend’s to repeat the same scenario we’ve lost two weeks in a row.
10:30-11 PM: I pack Spouse’s breakfast (oatmeal and frozen berries), lunch (spicy tuna and mayo) since he’s trying to go to the gym before work, and feed the animals before we go to bed.
Day Five Total: 0$
Day Six Friday
5:45-9 AM: Work. I have a deep focus block which means I can get the script for the training I have to run. Public speaking is not my strong suit and it’s a group of a thousand people so I’m not looking forward to it. Spouse almost makes it to the gym. I get an email that my new work phone has shipped. I’m surprised because they wouldn’t order us any for the past four years, but I guess my new iPhone will show up next week. I might give my old work phone to my mother in law, since she smashed the camera on the phone we bought her last year.
9-9:30 AM: I walk the dog, make a matcha and make a todo list for what we have to get done before we leave to my in laws tomorrow. I text my mother in law happy birthday, and hope that she got the card in time. She did.
9:30-11:30 AM: My last meeting for the week ends and I’m debating calling it a day so I can nap. Instead I make lunch (cheese bun and ham), text my other mother in law our plan for Saturday, and unload and reload the dishwasher and go back to work for at least another hour.
12:30-1 PM: I shower and do skin care
1-3 PM: Nap! Somewhere in this time FedEx comes and since I’m sleeping, we have to pick up on Monday. I’m not too sure what it is, I assume it’s our custom address stamp from Etsy because that’s the only thing I’ve bought recently but not too sure. I just realized in retrospect, this might be my new work phone.
3-5 PM: I prep dinner (nachos), unload the dishwasher, pack my overnight bag and confirm all our venue tours by email. I start a load of laundry and do a quick clean. I feel like this is not the best image of our diet. I swear we generally eat healthy but we both have been feeling really blah over the past two weeks so have been going for quick and easy over healthy and balanced. I do have three whole peppers and two whole avocados in the nachos though.
5-7 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog, have dinner, and plan out next week. We have a big Wednesday next week (mechanic, I have a nails appointment, dance class), and we are having our friends over for Easter so we need to prep for that. We pack the car so tomorrow is a very easy start.
Spouse also gets paid today. We’re lucky that we’re on alternating pay periods, we used to be on the same and it always felt stressful. Spouse also lets me know his union has secured a 3% cost of living raise to start in Q3. I really like his union for negotiating a base 2% year of cost of living raise, with potential addition raises depending on inflation. It’s a bit away but that’s still good news.
7:30-10:30 PM: We finish The Rookie Season 3 and head to bed. Crave reminds me that I have 10 days until I’m charged again. Sadly, I think we’ll have to pay for 2 months.
Day Six Total: 0
Day Seven Saturday
8:30-9:30 AM: Wake up. No one (except the dog) slept well so we’re not in a morning mood. Spouse makes coffee and walks the dog, while I finish packing the car and give the cat a lot of attention. Our first venue tour is at 11 and the one that is the most expensive (8-10K), but also the one we probably want the most. We live about an hour away but the highway is two lanes and one accident can back everything up for hours.
10:40-1 PM: We visit our dream venue. We stay way longer than expected. Basically if the quote is under 10K, we’ll get it. Just waiting now.
1-2 PM: We get to our in-laws and have a lunch of egg salad sandwhichs. We need to buy gas. My in laws drive us to a pottery painting store.
2-4 PM: We paint pottery. My mother in law only wanted to do this for her birthday. They’ll pick it up in a week after it’s been thrown. I paint a vase (28$), Spouse paints an Easter egg (18$), father in law paints a mug (30$), and mother in law paints a plate (50$)
Total:143.36/credit card
4-5 Pm: We see another venue. It’s an instant no. My in laws decide they want to try Korean fried chicken. We call ahead for take out to get two fries and 16 pieces of half and half. It comes to 50.83$ that my in laws pay for.
5-10 PM: We come back and see that our dog has pooped in their house and also has gotten into their pantry and eaten an entire bag of dog food. It is not a fun night.
We spend the night drinking wine and discussing the wedding and watching TV.
10PM: We go to bed. That’s the end of this week, but tomorrow we will be buying gas and probably lunch for my other mother in law as we will be touring another venue.
Day Seven Total: 143.36$

WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF SPOILERS
Introduction:
Hello there! My name is Brian, and I am interested in this Reddit group because Hell's Kitchen is one of my favorite TV shows. I am particularly fond of the Thailand variant since I have experience visiting a Thai restaurant.
For those of you who don't know, I work on Hell's Kitchen fanon projects as part of the community.
I have been thinking about the new contestants, head chefs, sous chefs, and maître d’hôtel. If it were up to me, Hell's Kitchen would take place in Tokyo instead of Los Angeles/Las Vegas, since Japan is a popular tourist destination. In this version, Gordon Ramsay would not be featured, but instead, he would appear as a guest judge in future episodes.
Interestingly, none of the contestants would have any culinary experience, and they would be aged between 21-35 and come from different parts of the world. I am anticipating the presence of a main protagonist, a main antagonist, some supporting characters, and a few minor characters.
Lastly, I would not include their last names to protect their privacy.
Blue Team:
Ben, 25, YouTuber & Philanthropist, Greenville, North Carolina
Bianca, 31, Book Reviewer, Milan, Italy
Brian, 25, Voice Actor, Los Angeles, California
Cecilia, 23, Cosplayer, Atlanta, Georgia
Corrie, 35, YouTube Gamer, Amsterdam, Netherlands
David, 27, Musician & Singer, Evansville, Indiana
Domingos, 30, Tech YouTuber, Lisbon, Portugal
Efrain, 30, YouTube Gamer, Madrid, Spain
Evelyn, 29, Tailor, Yerevan, Armenia
Evert, 26, YouTuber & Actor, Zoetermeer, Netherlands
Georgina, 27, Digital Content Creator, Tirana, Albania
Gisele, 26, Disney & Pokémon YouTuber, Asnières-sur-Seine, France
Hans, 34, YouTuber & Game Director, Oslo, Norway
Hendrika, 26, Book YouTuber, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Herve, 27, Japanese Culture YouTuber, Neuilly-sur-Seine, France
Isaias, 22, YouTube Gamer, Montevideo, Uruguay
Justine, 27, Writer & Illustrator, Adelaide, Australia
Karlotta, 29, Anime & Manga YouTuber, Hamburg, Germany
Lucas, 29, YouTube Gamer, Dallas, Texas
Marco, 29, YouTuber & Musician, Savona, Italy
Mathieu, 32, YouTube Comedian & Vlogger, Paris, France
Max, 31, Twitch Streamer, Gavle, Sweden
Priya, 22, Model & Cosplayer, Guwahati, India
Raquel, 29, Content Creator, Madrid, Spain
Samuel, 24, Content Creator & Travel Vlogger, Cabanatuan, Philippines
Shirlene, 30, Blogger, Chelmsford, United Kingdom
Valerie, 21, Chess Player, Fuengirola, Spain
Wendy, 29, Model & Singer, Minsk, Belarus
Red Team:
Alex, 27, Commentator, La Crosse, Wisconsin
Amelie, 28, Digital Creator, Paris, France
Brendan, 27, Twitch Streamer, Trenton, New Jersey
Caroline, 29, Twitch Streamer, Trenton, New Jersey
Claudio, 24, Gameplay Commentator, Mallorca, Spain
Diana, 26, Model, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Felix, 29, Podcaster & YouTuber, Sydney, Australia
Flora, 31, Lifestyle & Travel Luxury Creator, Jakarta, Indonesia
Franklin, 25, Author, Brighton, United Kingdom
Hannelore, 29, YouTuber & Podcaster, Munich, Germany
Herman, 34, YouTuber, Vlaardingen, Netherlands
Holly, 28, Beauty & Style Guru YouTuber, Toronto, Canada
Iris, 28, Twitch Streamer, Chicago, Illinois
James, 28, Content Creator, Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Karen, 28, Anime YouTuber, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Kyllian, 28, Live Streamer & YouTuber, Hollis, New Hampshire
Larisa, 25, Writer & Wellness Teacher, Ljubljana, Slovenia
Natalie, 32, Cosplayer & Twitch Streamer, Belfast, United Kingdom
Nicholas, 24, Presenter & Podcaster, Blackpool, United Kingdom
Noah, 27, Twitch Streamer & YouTuber, Denbigh, United Kingdom
Olga, 22, Content Creator, Moscow, Russia
Paul, 30, YouTuber & Editor, Tallinn, Estonia
Ruby, 22, English Teacher, Cincinnati, Ohio
Stefano, 31, YouTube Gamer, Rome, Italy
Tamiko, 34, Entrepreneur, Los Angeles, California
Teresa, 33, Youtuber & Blogger, Perth, Australia
Tobias, 31, Photographer, Dublin, Ireland
Tristan, 33, Podcaster & YouTuber, Bangkok, Thailand
Head Chefs:
Jake, 34, Maidstone, United Kingdom: Jake is a strict and short-tempered perfectionist chef who gets easily frustrated when his chefs make mistakes such as serving raw food, not communicating properly, or talking back to him. However, he does care for chefs who try their best, as he always expects the best from every chef he works with. Jake is also known to make sarcastic comments by comparing served food to something else or even customers when they try to confront him. Despite his criticisms and insults, Jake's intention is to find out which chef has the potential to be his new head chef. None of the critiques and insults he gave out were too personal, and there are rare occasions where he gives praise to a chef and lets them know they are doing well. For this reason, he earned the nickname "Asian Gordon Ramsay".
Kim, 40, Boston, Massachusetts: Kim is one of the head chefs that Jake hired, and she acts as his right-hand woman during services. Unlike her co-workers Jake, Eleanor, Lola, and Renata, Kim is always calm and collected and never gets angry, even when chefs make mistakes. She is generally a charming and cheerful person who provides chefs with advice and encouragement to help them succeed during dinner service and any challenges that may arise.
Eleanor, 71, New York City, New York: Eleanor is one of the head chefs hired by Jake and she acts as his right-hand woman during services. She is generally more subdued than Jake and Renata, but she has her limits. When she is pushed, she will lash out at any chef who disrespects her. She can also become rude and annoyed when chefs are being unprofessional and talking back to her. However, overall, Eleanor is a nice and helpful person. She has a lot of cooking experience in the past, and is known for preparing restaurant-quality dishes.
Lola, 48, Rio Piedras, Puerto Rico: Lola is one of the head chefs hired by Jake. She acts as his right-hand woman during services, and holds the same high standards as Jake. Lola often gets irritated by contestants' constant mistakes. However, she is not as subdued as Kim, Eleanor, and Renata. She has her limits, and when pushed, she will lash out at any chef who disrespects her. Lola becomes stern when the chefs aren't doing their jobs properly. She easily gets angry, uses vulgar language, and is sarcastic when a chef is not professional, makes mistakes, or fails to meet Jake's standards. Despite this, Lola is generally kind and humorous.
Renata, 42, Berea, Ohio: Renata is one of the head chefs hired by Jake. She acts as his right-hand woman during services, holding the same high standards as Jake. However, she can become irritated by the constant mistakes made by the contestants. While she is more subdued than Jake and Eleanor, she has her limits when pushed and would lash out at any disrespectful contestant. Her behavior is often passive-aggressive. Renata becomes stern when the contestants don't take the competition seriously. Her criticisms can be considered slightly or overly harsh, sometimes even taking a contestant's poor performance as a personal insult and berating them for their mistakes. Otherwise, Renata is generally respectful and polite. She is an expert in desserts.
Sous Chefs:
Wilson, 27, Union, Missouri: Wilson is Jake's Sous Chef and acts as his right-hand man during services. He holds the same high standards as Jake and gets irritated by the constant mistakes of contestants. Wilson is generally calm and composed, but he becomes stern when chefs fail to do their jobs properly. He warns them that he can be as aggressive and harsh on them as he won't tolerate poor performances leading to bad dinner services or losing challenges.
Lily, 32, Chicago, Illinois: Lily, the Sous Chef of Jake, serves as his main assistant during services. She shares the same standards as Jake and often gets frustrated by the constant mistakes of the contestants. Despite that, Lily is generally friendly and caring. However, she has her limits, and if disrespected, she will become stern and lash out at the chefs. She is known to lose her temper with chefs who do not perform their jobs adequately during dinner services or in challenges.
Maître d’hôtel:
Louise, 34, Toronto, Canada: Louise was one of the most respected and loveable staff in the history of the show. As the Maître d'hôtel at Hell's Kitchen, she served at the front of the house and often handed out tickets to Jake. If there was a tableside dish, she was responsible for instructing the assigned chefs on how to make it, due to her vast experience in cooking. However, she would get upset with the chefs when they made mistakes that resulted in customer complaints.
Conclusion:
I have created a detailed summary for my upcoming project. I plan to release the first episode when I can find some free time. It will either premiere after the conclusion of Hell's Kitchen Thailand or at a time that I believe is appropriate. This project will have more intense and unique rewards and punishments compared to the previous ones. As expected, none of the contestants will be nominated by the head chefs, and all of them will be eliminated properly, except for the Running the Pass Service. The head chefs are expecting two chefs before the finale. I also expected the teams to not be divided by gender. I would love to see friendships and romance develop between members of opposite genders. Furthermore, I'm excited to see how the best blue team and the worst red team in the show's history compare to previous seasons. There is going to be more drama, bad dinner services, and brutality, unlike Gordon Ramsay's version. As anticipated, there will be no punishment pass, Cook For Your Life Challenge, and Black Jackets Challenge because it would not be fair for certain chefs who wanted a reward and stayed in the competition for obvious reasons. The winner of this series will receive a prestigious head chef position at the Gordon Ramsay Bar & Grill Restaurant in Sunway City, Kuala Lumpur, with a salary of $250,000. Interestingly, all the chefs who competed throughout the series will return for the finale to join one of the largest Final Service Brigades in the show's history. Please let me know if any changes need to be made. I'll put contestants' personalities next time as a separate post, due to space limit on Reddit.
Here's the link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1rJkba0klyA99Sd-gXyK_EtjtT2FXb_hT?usp=sharing

I think I am even a bit unreasonable about this and it is why I will never get married or make it work long-term with a man. I HATE being sexualized. I don't want to get dry humped when I lean over to pick something up. I don't want a guy to grab my butt as I am washing the dishes. I don't want a guy that is gonna grab my boob or inspect my tonsils every time we kiss. I know couples where the ONLY time the guy looks at the woman is when he wants to hump her or grab something on her basically using her as a doll anytime he wants never giving her any affection that isn't him trying to get some. My ex was like that, and he made me feel like nothing. Like he literally wouldn't even hold my hand unless it was to pull my hand onto his crotch. I hated his guts because he clearly saw me as nothing but something to use. I hear all these stories and have seen it myself where a wife will die and within months the man is remarried and everyone says "how could he remarried so soon!" I think that is because to a lot of guys a wife isn't an important person. She's just a cum dump. I truely believe that some guys only care about women as something they can use to get off.
And every time I express this, I get the same brain broke responses that have totally convinced me that dating sucks "Oh wow you will die alone" "sounds like you don't want a boyfriend" "I hope he cheats on you" Like asking for a guy to hug me around the waste without sticking his hands down my pants is a BIG ASK. Or like asking for a kiss on the cheek not follow by marathon humping is too much to ask for. Like GOD FORBID a woman wants some affection that isn't centered around a guy getting laid. But if you even suggest you want a hug that isn't attached to a marathon dickin and you get framed as a unreasonable person.
I blame Disney and movies like Pride and Prejudice for selling this stupid lie that a guy would want to treat a girl with kindness and love. It seems like most of them only operate on "I gotta get laid" and only want to offer physical affection with the goal of getting it. It has just killed my desire and respect for men.

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

We have the Disney Dining Plan for the upcoming trip, and one of those nights, we'll be going to Yak and Yeti. I absolutely love duck, and am interested in having that as my entree; however, I just noticed the asterisk noting that it's not included with the plan. For anyone that's had it, would it be worth it to order it separately, so basically paying the $37.99 for the dish, and I guess having a leftover dining credit? Or maybe Y&Y will let me use the TS dining credit to get a couple of appetizers?

Today is Mother's Day for me and a day to honor your mom. Before I tell you the current story I'll tell you some background information. Lu(nickname) (18) had a kid named Chey (nickname). The father of Chey (Kyle) never came to the hospital as she was born so Chey is lawfully fatherless. Lu didn't care much because she also hated Chey's father. Lu was homeless and Chey lived with her grandparents often but not Lu. Lu spent her 20s working until she met Erick(38). Erick seemed to be hopelessly in love with Lu and they eventually got engaged and Chey came to live with Lu. Lu thought everything would be great, they went to Disney world every day and had their dream home and Lu eventually stayed home (and stopped work) cause Erick insisted she should. When she did suddenly the house got worse- Lu and Erick got evicted in all 9 houses in their name and got their cars taken away. Eventually Lu, Chey and Erick lived with Erick's mom. Chey was around 11 and move to a hood school. Chey grew up poor to a rich lifestyle to a really bad hood lifestyle. Chey was SA a lot and almost r* and was heavily bullied (bones broken multiple times). Chey was depressed and with her parents now fighting till 3am in the morning she now couldn't sleep. Lu stopped making food for Chey and Chey started to lose a lot of weight. Chey eventually tries to make herself food, but the pantry had an infestation of cockroaches and the air had mold and flies everywhere. When Lu (the mom) got diagnosed with cancer the only person there was Chey but eventually Lu got better however the doctor told Lu if she had kids again, she could catch another worse tumor. This effected Lu badly and Erick eventually stopped coming to Lu's bed. Erick spent all day sm*king outside and never ever spent time with Lu again. Chey felt something was off more than usual and saw an unusual text on Erick's phone from another worker at his job. Chey didn't dig into it, but she thought to bring it up to Lu in the morning since it was 2am. In the morning Lu didn't want to speak to Chey and screamed at her to go away. Chey decided to wait to after school to tell her mom about what happened. During that day Chey came home with a cut on her arm (by a bully) and her leg sprained. Chey went to go tell her mom, but Lu just screamed at her to go away. Chey cried because she never got help from her mom, she can't sleep anymore (cause of Lu and Erick's arguing) and she's begging for her mom to just hear her. By now you can tell Chey is me. Chey told Lu how she was depressed, she couldn't take this anymore, and by Lu's response she told Chey that Chey wasn't her daughter anymore and she should be grateful because Lu's life was worse. After that day, I didn't speak a word to my mother for a year. My mom used to beat me to get a word out, but I never even mumbled. I always loved my mom and pitied her cause her life was hard and I did feel at fault. I met this boy named Tom who become important later and he was my best friend in middle school. It wasn't until I got sent to a Private Christian Boarding School is when I started to speak again to Lu. I met very lovely people there until they took me out of it. My mom only sent me there because she thought I was a bad kid, nonetheless. Not speaking to her was disrespectful and maybe she's right. During high school I took care of the house because my mom got pregnant (thankfully no tumor). This included bleaching the house daily, to cooking breakfast lunch and dinner for the whole family and also taking care of the babies when they finally did come. I wanted to pull my weight and be the best daughter I could be. Eventually I graduated high school and I'm in college. My workload is a serious amount of work and now I have no time to do the household duties but the kids (there are two of them) are old enough to not be watched seriously (4y) and (5y). So I focus on my studies. Present: It's my final's week and I have been working nonstop. I have my last final tomorrow, but Lu (my mom) tells me that I needed to do the dishes yesterday. I told her I've been studying nonstop and that any of my free time is dedicated to relaxing 1-2 hours after every 3-5 hours of study time to destress (if not I get overwhelmed and won't do anything). She tells me that i haven't been helping out as much anymore (which is false because even with me being busy 24/7 I still clean and organize and cook AND babysit more. I still help out however she cleans maybe once a month I clean once a week for the house and EVERYDAY for my own area. I don't even eat in my room- I've always been an obedient kid even when Lu had screamed, choked or beat me blue I would always love her. She's my "mom" but why do I feel like this isn't fair? I got mad and told her I needed to study angrily and grabbed my little bowl of cereal. As I walk away, she asked me why I was walking away, and I told her that I said I needed to study angrily. She said "or you just want to be disrespectful. You're so damn ungrateful little girl." "that's ENOUGH!" I spoke. She said "Who tf you talking to?!" and I left. I closed and locked my door (always did because the kids would come in and I used to take tests), and she picked my lock. She yelled at me how even thing she did was for me, and I left sad, and I cried because I wanted to be vulnerable with her, I wanted her to be mad but comfort me because even when I came to her as a broken kid she wasn't there. Now that I took everything off of her plate, I needed that more than anything. She told me that I was ungrateful and said that she did nothing to me. I told her that she wasn't there when I was SA and almost r*ped and she said, "you never told me" and I put that on my life that I did tell her. Her response back then was "why are you tell me this now, i can't do anything. get over it". She quoted Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” and I told her "but you're missing a part of that verse and that is for parents DO not provoke your child into anger." (it's technically father's but the father is the house of the head and in this cause, I don't get a dad). My mom started talking about how God should smite me, and I looked at her crazy. I'm Christian but even then, at that moment my mom made me realize how some people can get really ugly and weaponize God. I always used God to pray for my enemies as much as it pained me. Today is Mother's Day and my grandma partially believe I'm at fault. TBH I didn't have to yell that much but after all these years I wanted a mom. I never realized I was more of a parent then she was. My mom hated anything I loved and always put me down saying I was a failure like my father. She also kicked me out semi-cause of this. Back to my grandma's I go- Reddit I come to you today to ask how should I feel-
TLDR: My mom is toxic and I love her but she doesn't seem like she loves me.

Here's a collection of tips and recommendations based on my travel experiences in Japan. I hope these tips will help! For more context: I was a solo traveler, with a backpack and stayed for about 28 days.
Edit: Just a clarification; it's a list based on my experience, so some of the stuff might not be accurate. But again, it's just here to help!

Preparation:

• Planning: Start planning your travel route at least 3-6 months in advance. It often takes about a month or two to finalize an itinerary, and allows plenty of time for adjustments.
• Accommodation:
  • Booking hotels: You should to book your hotels around 3 months in advance, especially during public holidays to avoid last minute hassles.
  • Choosing accommodations in Tokyo: If you split Tokyo into two, the west side offers a better experience for a longer stay imo. Althought, I found the best gift in asakusa and electric town.
  • Mix of lodgings: I really recommend you to include include a mix of guesthouses and hotels. Guesthouses are great for socializing, while hotels provide that much-needed rest. Pro tip: opt for private rooms in guesthouses when possible.
  • Hotel choices: APA hotels are standard business hotels. they're fine but can be mundane. If possible, find hotels with a public bath. it’s incredibly nice after a day.
  • Accommodation safety: Regularly check Google Maps reviews for mentions of bed bugs within the last two years and avoid those places. Bed bug infestations aren't well handled yet in Japan.
• Transports
  • JR Pass: Buy the Japan Rail Pass (JRP) in advance. Although consider skipping the JR Pass in favor of regional passes like the Hakone Free Pass, which covers not only trains but also buses and local attractions
  • Regional passes: if you plan to get regional passes, it needs some digging, use gpt and google. You might also need to adjust your travel plan depending on what you find
• Technology:
  • Apps: Sync Google Maps and Google Translate (regular AND image translation packs) and before your trip for smoother navigation and communication.
  • Internet access: Instead of renting pocket wifi devices, you should go for a SIM or e-SIM with unlimited data, which you should get before your trip.
• Attractions
  • Booking: Book tickets for TeamLab a month in advance as they sell out quickly. Observation towers (like Tokyo Tower or Skytree for sunset views) 10 days in advance, check the weather for the best sunset view ever!
  • Ghibli museum tickets: Tickets are released on the 10th at 10 AM Japan time, available online and at Konbini stores. It's easier to get them with the help of a local friend. Be online an hour early if you're booking yourself. I was asked who was my the person who booked my ticket when I got there, so don't buy tickets from ebay.
  • Theme park: you should totally see one in japan if you stay longer than 1 week
• Cash: Carrying around $150 in yen per week per person is a good rule of thumb. Always use your card when possible to avoid running out of cash.

Packing:

• Essentials:
  • Pack your toothbrush and toothpaste... some hotels may not provide them (I read the opposite but this wasn't my experience).
  • Skip the towel, most places provide them or offer them at a low very cost
  • Dont bring soap or shampoo as most hotels provide unless you have specific personal preferences for your hairs
  • Deodorant is a must there, make sure you don't run out because it's not easy to get some there. Also avoid deodorant that smells good. Japanese people dislike odors.
  • Sunscreen: it is a good thing to bring even in the spring or autumn
• Clothes:
  • Socks: If you have larger feet, bring enough socks and shoes as finding your size can be difficult in Japan.
  • Shoes: Get the most comfortable and cushioned shoes, you will walk a lot
  • Laundry: Travel light and plan to do laundry. (I brought around 8 days of clothes) If you do laundry, you can send a message to your accomodations to know if they have a laundry machines. In some town, it's not always available.
• Tech:
  • Make sure you have an outlet adapter type A
  • Bring a power bank
  • Always carry a small plastic bag or ziplock bag for your trash.
  • A long USB charging cable is handy as outlets are often inconveniently placed.
  • Bring one pen or fill up the online form for when you get in the country
• Other:
  • Sleeping mask: some rooms don't really block the morning light
  • If you're a backpacker, compression packing cubes can be a game changer.
  • Don't pack a large umbrella. buy a compact one before your trip or simply purchase a cheap one in Japan. Japanese people love umbrellas!
  • Bring a needle for your sim card!

When you fly in

• Transport cards: Purchase an IC card (Pasmo or Suica) at the airport. Do not skip that part. Opt for the welcome version if you’re staying less than 29 days. The differences between cards are minor, so choose based on your arrival airport and convenience:
  • Pasmo welcome at NRT airport.
  • Suica welcome at HND airport
  • You can get both normal version at both airport
• Airport transportation: From Narita Airport, I recommend to choose the cheaper transport option (1,500 yen vs. 2,500 yen). The price difference isn’t worth the slight time save.
• Using your IC card: Start using your IC card right from the airport. Don't buy tickets. If you're confused, ask staff!
• Activating the JR Pass: You can activate your JR Pass at the airport but due to crowds, it might be easier to activate it at a JR office in Tokyo. Always carry your passport for verification. (You can also delay the activation at the office).
• Trains: Try to Buy your ticket train in advance if you can.
• If it's your first time: Don't plan anything the day you arrive. You will be tired. Just walk in the city.

Theme Parks:

Visiting a theme park in Japan is highly recommended as it provides a wonderful break from traditional sightseeing and was a highlight of my trip.

• Tickets: Always buy your tickets from the official website. use Google Chrome’s translate feature to navigate.
• DisneySea:
  • food: Definitely try the food, especially the popcorn. The curry flavor is amazing
  • Managing long queues: If an attraction has a very long queue (50 min+), consider visiting it at the end of the day or opt for a Premier Access pass to skip the line. it's around 1500 yen per attraction.
  • Park hours: Arrive 30 minutes before opening and consider staying until the park closes. it is especially beautiful at night and less crowded. The fireworks are at 8:30 and the park closes at 9. This schedule may change during the summer as the day light time is different.
  • Language tools: Use Google Translate’s conversation feature, as many attractions do not offer English subtitles. Yes, it won't be perfect, but it's the best I got.
  • Travel time: Takes about 1 hour via local bus or train.
  • Accommodation: Staying at the Disney hotel is not necessarily the best value for your money in my opinion as it takes one hour to get there
• Universal Studios:
  • Single riders: Solo visitors can often skip the Express Pass thanks to many attractions offering single rider queues.
  • Group travel: If traveling in a group and looking to avoid long lines, get an Express Pass at least two months in advance. Be aware of prices ($60 vs $300).
  • Park hours: Arrive early as the park often opens an hour before the stated time. For instance, if it says 9 AM on the website, it will open at 8 AM.
  • Nintendo World: Head to Nintendo World first as it gets very crowded. Book your tickets after you enter the park with the app. You can stay once you in as long as you like. (Wifi is available at the entrance)

Onsen

I was totally lost when I entered my first onsen, so I will share a tiny guide

• Local spots: Seek out onsens frequented by locals. You will have a better experience imo. Also search the best ones in town, it can cleary change your experience.
• Locker rooms: Once at your locker, remember that onsens require you to be completely naked. Leave your clothes in the locker. Do not bring bath suit...
• Towel: Bring a small towel from your hotel for use in the onsen, but remember not to immerse it in the bath. Some locals like to put it on their head while submerged.
• Pre-bath: Before entering the bath, wash and rinse yourself at the washing stations. Sit on the provided stool, and please, don't stand while showering,
• Entering the bath: Use the bucket to pour water over yourself before entering the main bath. This helps your body adjust to the temperature.
• Conduct: Try to relax and blend in, appearing shy or self-conscious can draw more attention. Also, avoid staring at others. It'sworth mentioning that some locals staired at me, It's not common for them to see us naked.
• Post-bath: After you’re done, rinse off quickly at the washing area before returning to the locker room.

Food

• Morning:
  • Coffee: Opt for coffee from konbini stores instead of Starbuck coffee. It’s cheaper (about 1/3 of the price) and often just as good.
  • Fast breakfast: if you are in a hurry and you need to grab something, onigiri balls are a great choice in my opinion
  • Traditional breakfast: You should try the traditional breakfast with grilled salmon at least once.
• Adjust meal schedule: Japanese meal times are typically earlier... consider skipping breakfast if you're not an early riser, and aim for lunch around 11:00-11:30 AM, and dinner by 6:00-6:30 PM. Most places close early!
• Choosing Restaurants:
  • Avoid the hype: do not go to restaurants with long queues or those that are heavily featured on Instagram or any social media. A lot of random restaurant with 3-4 stars on gmap are more authentic and delicious.
  • Searching: When you look for a specific type of food, like ramen, use Google Maps’ filter options under ‘restaurants’ for more accurate results, rather than just searching the term directly.
• Other:
  • Recommendations: Utilize GPT to ask about local specialty dishes when you're in a new city.
  • Be adventurous: Try new and different foods whenever possible. it can lead to discovering many amazing dishes.
  • Yakiniku: Book yakiniku (Japanese BBQ) restaurants in advance.
  • Local: Restaurants with vending machine ordering systems are popular among locals. You can use google's translate to understand the buttons if it's in japanese
  • Prices: Remember that prices on the menu may not include taxes, which are typically around 10%.
  • Cash: 80% of restaurants are cash only

Shops and souvenirs:

I recommend to buy at the end of your trip, otherwise, you will carry everything. Also it's important that, if you see something that you really like, don't tell yourself that you will find that exact same thing at another place.

• Kappabashi Street: Specializes in Japanese kitchen tools
  • Hashitou: Recommended for chopsticks (¥800 to ¥30k range). https://maps.app.goo.gl/TUeFAgaYfZDYa2qM7 Please, don't buy chopsticks at very touristy places
  • Kamata: Offers knives with tax-free shopping. https://maps.app.goo.gl/JnhLpGRhMUWA12Pp7
  • Tsubaya: Known for high-end, quality knives. (¥10K to ¥150K range) https://maps.app.goo.gl/bNBsaSMD6vACeZLG7
• Don Quijote: A go-to place for random and unique items. Look for the Kai nail clipper (¥1300-¥1800), highly recommended on another thread.
• Super Potato: for retro gaming and a geeky atmosphere: https://maps.app.goo.gl/WmHQW1bwgiACY2ZN8
• Nintendo and Pokemon Shops: Located in Osaka and Kyoto.

Random tips

• Handling Trash:
  • Shops: Avoid leaving trash at the store where you did not purchase the items. But for the stuff you bought, merchant will be happy to take it back because you supported their business
  • In the streets: Use trashcans in shopping malls or subway stations.
• Passport: Carry your passport and keep a photocopy in your hotel for backup.
• Baggage services: Utilize Yamato Transport for luggage delivery if you're staying over 72 hours at your next destination. But carry 1 day of clothes with you.
• Footwear in rooms: Remove shoes before entering if your room has tatami mats. Japanese style!
• Transportation:
  • Subway vs. bus: Favor the subway over buses outside of Tokyo. It can be really confusing sometime.
  • Don't walk: Use the subway rather than walking if your destination is more than a 20-minute walk. It's not worth the time and the effort.
  • Navigation: Rely on Google Maps for directions, costs, and subway platforms information. sometimes, you have multiple compagnies in the same station, some multiple platform 1 etc. but once you get in the right company network station, you won't mistaken the platform to go to.
• Interact with others: Talk to foreigners. ask for the best travel tip they have for you as a ice breaker. I had a blast talking to people there
• Kyoto:
  • Fushimi Inari Taisha: Visit popular the shrine after 7-8pm to avoid crowds and see nighttime lights.
  • Otagi Nenbutsuji: I recommend to visit this place: https://maps.app.goo.gl/1jBXSfmLRvRSjnvA7, it's not croweded and the path to get there form the bamboo forest is very cute. I got this tip from an other solo traveler
• Floors: sometime, a shop is at a specific floor, when you check google map, check the address, it will usually say which floor it's located on.
• Learning japanese: Learn basic Japanese with Duolingo can help a lot. (consider skipping the alphabet to focus on sentences.)
• Keep coins: Keep ¥1000 in ¥100 coins handy for laundry and lockers.
• Cash: Withdraw cash at post offices with minimal fees if needed or konbini stores if you're lazy.
• Before check-in/after check-out: Most hotels will store your luggage outside of your stay for a few hours
• Lockers: Store your belongings in public lockers, the ones in gare station might be full
• Name on a paper in you wallet: Label your wallet and important items with your name to aid in recovery if lost. One time, I forgot my wallet in the laundry room in my hotel, but fortunatelly, I had some bills with my name on it, so staff could find me back easily.
• Use GPT:
  • When you have a spare time in a city because you already checked everything on your list, try to ask gpt for advice on what you should do in the current district/city your are in.
  • If you have any questions on something, gpt is a great way to get answers or cultural info.
  • Like I said earlier, It's also a great way to know what dishes the place you are in is known for
  • If you have the JR Pass, it's a great way to know if a subway line is included

Let me know what are your toughts!

Main question for discussion: wtf?
More details: after a long time, my family decided to go here again for the cost to value of an all you can eat experience at Disney and I’ve got to say, I was very satisfied with my meal. Every dish hit the spot, definitely no complaints.
However, at the end of the meal, we wanted to use the restroom and thought “eh might as well here.” I now have so many questions, like why were they designed the way they were? Why are they up three different sections of stairs? How are they not ADA compliant?
I was in the men’s room and not a single person COULDN’T touch the ceiling. A guy entered that looked maybe 6’7” and he had to duck through the door. Also I brushed up against the banister holding me back from falling onto the main floor and the whole thing wiggled. All I could think was someone big enough could lean on this and probably take it off the floor.
Anybody have any insight to this oddity of a bathroom?

My mom is actually a lovely person. She's always been generous, despite living paycheck to paycheck her whole life. She's caring and pleasant and understanding. She's distanced herself somewhat from friends over their Fox News-itus. She's been nothing but accepting and supportive of trans family members. I really couldn't say enough nice things about her.
But GOOD GOD when it comes to trying new food. To be clear, I don't care if she tries new food or not, that's her business. But she acts like it's alien for anyone else to want to try something they haven't eaten before.
She went on a vacation to Disney World with some family, and apparently it was a running joke that when they wanted to go out to eat she just wanted to go to McDonald's, Burger King, etc. And wasn't happy about having to go to a real restaurant, despite someone else paying.
Or, I told her about this really nice grill down the street from my place, and she asked what I had. I said the blackened salmon BLT. She looked at me like I was crazy and then said "So, you just saw 'blackened salmon BLT' on the menu and thought, 'I'll try that.'?"
...
As if that's an insane thing for a person to do.
She just can't fathom that anyone would want to try anything other than the 30 or 40 dishes she's ever eaten.
I know I'm actually very lucky this is the worst of it, right? Like I said, my mom's great.
But, while I could see people in my generation being picky about what they eat, I can't imaging them being so put off at the thought of others trying new things.

Finally got around sharing our wonderful experience in Kansai (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024). We are a family of 4 from Perth, Australia (1 x Toddler turning 4 end of this month and 1 x Infant about 18 months old) joined by my MIL from Malaysia. It was our first time trip to Japan but the second time flying 6 hours long with 2 kids. We chose to travel during this period as it was during Easter holidays and also the most favourable weather for our kids. As we have 4 separate accommodations booked over 9 days, we try to travel as light as possible: 2 x large suitcase, 1 x medium suitcase, 2 x medium bags, 1 x bag pack, 1 x dedicated bag for infant carrier and kids' jumpers + 1 stroller. Our kids still take nap(s) during the day and our plan was having the toddler sleep on the stroller and the infant in the carrier or the stroller if toddler is not using.
After extensive research (mostly from this sub) we still found the first few days to be quite hectic and wish we know some of the things beforehand (listed below the itinerary). I hope this post can help young families who are considering travelling to Japan with kids or those who have travelled to Japan before kids came to the picture to do it again with confidence.

9 Day Itinerary (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024)

Day 1 Osaka: Namba (Monday)
Our flight from KUL arrived KIX around 10am and boarded the Nankai Rapid (bought 1 month prior online) to Shin-Imamiya station after getting our luggage. We originally planned to take a taxi from there but failed to find any taxi for 20 mins so we end up walking to our accommodation as the kids were tired of waiting. After offloading our luggage we manage to hail a taxi and head to Namba Parks to rest and unwind. Had a refreshing lunch at Yasaiya Mei (mains + all you can eat side dishes including veg tempura) and went to explore the rooftop parks garden before putting the kids to nap. After the kids woke up we took a taxi back to check in officially. Everyone was quite tired thus we opted to stay in and get dinner from Life supermarket nearby. This was probably the most enjoyable part of the day for the kids wandering around a foreign supermarket as we bought dinner and some light snacks. After putting the kids to bed, we did some laundry and packed our 1st luggage to send away.
Day 2 Osaka: Tennoji (Tuesday)
While everyone was getting ready, I went to the nearby 7-Eleven to forward our 1st luggage to the 4th accommodation via Yamato transport. The shop attendant was helpful and guided me through the process as we communicated via deepL. We walked to the Lawson's at JR Imamiya to get brekkky before taking the Osaka loop Line to JR tennoji. We took quite a while to navigate towards Tennoji Zoo from JR Tennoji but eventually got there after a 15 min detour. It was quite crowded for a Tuesday morning but the kids get to roam around the Tenshiba garden while I queue up for tickets (500 yen per adult). One of the kids fell asleep in the zoo so we decided to just grab food to go at the supermarket outside the zoo for lunch. We then head towards Abeno Q's mall to shop and put the other kid to sleep. There was quite a lot of hot food along the way and we manage to grab some for the kids to snack on after their nap (butaman from Horai 555, mochi donut from Mister Donut, taiyaki etc). There's a fantastic area for kids to play (kid, play, study) at the ground floor with different sensory setup and soft blocks for stacking/ balancing. I spent close to 2 hours there with 2 kids while my wife and MIL went shopping. After that we had dinner at Grand Capital Toyoutei at the Kintetsu mall dining floor before heading to our final activity of the day: Abeno Harukas 300. Tickets were a bit steep (2000 yen per adult) but we end up staying there for quite a bit and the experience was pretty unique even though we missed the sunset timing. The elevator ride to the top though short left quite an impression. The kids enjoyed running around at the sky garden 2 floors below as we rest and enjoy the night view of the city from about 300m above ground. The journey back to our accommodation was pretty straightforward and the kids got knocked out when we got home. All in all Tennoji was a pleasantly great experience and we have a better understanding about JR station layout and navigating underground.
Day 3 Osaka - Kyoto (Wednesday)
This was a rather hectic day as it rained quite a bit and we struggled to get a taxi after checking out, getting turned down by several taxis with "空车". We eventually found one to bring us to JR Osaka station. Navigating at the station wasn't too difficult after yesterday but there were long queues when we arrived at 10am and I made the fatal mistake of leaving my physical credit card back in Perth and spent 45mins trying to redeem limited express tickets I reserved online. The JR staff were friendly and tried their best to help but they can only recommend me cancelling my initial reservation and buying new tickets (cancellation fee was about 2300 yen for 3 adults). As soon as we got our tickets we sprinted to the underground gate about 15 mins walk away. I even carried the stroller and kids through an escalator as we didn't want to waste time finding a lift and risk missing the train. We managed to board the limited express train on time and arrived at JR Kyoto which was even more crowded and larger than most international airports. The kids were quite cranky by now as it has been all rush and long waits since they woke up. I split up with my family with 2 luggage that we initially planned to forward to our Arashiyama accommodation via Sagawa. However I was told same day delivery service is only applicable to limited hotels so I stored the luggage at 2 coin lockers and then head to the Kintetsu line ticket counter to redeem the Kyoto-Nara and Nara-Osaka limited express tickets which fortunately doesn't require my credit card details (just reservation number). By the time I reunite with my family it was still raining and both kids fell asleep so we ditched the plan for Kyoto railway museum and instead went browsing for lunch at Porta and Isetan dining floor. We eventually queued to eat at Ejuan for about 25 minutes while one of the kid was still asleep. The wait was worthwhile as the grilled miso black cod was exceptional as was the kids' grilled chicken. Next we went to the skywalk at level 9 briefly before my family went to the toy section at Isetan while I retrieve our luggage from the coin lockers. We board the Saga line bound for Saga-Arashiyama and rested awhile at the accommodation before heading out for dinner after the rain stopped. We walked to Kijurou and fortunately they have space for us provided we order a main meal per adult. The yakiniku and Wagyu rib loin bowls were pretty good but we find the Hitsumabushi set a bit gimmicky. After dinner we stopped by Kimono Forest on our way back and this was probably the highlight of the kids day.
Day 4 Kyoto: Arashiyama (Thursday)
Had Lawson's for brekky before heading out to Kimono Rental Amuya to hired kimonos for my wife and toddler including hairstyling. The shop was actually a house with the living area turned into a studio and only the owner working by herself so we waited for about half an hour before walking towards the Bamboo Forest and Tenryu-ji gardens (500 yen entry from the north gate but well worth it for the blooming sakura and picturesque lake). It was crowded as expected and everyone was moving slowly so it took us about an hour to complete the loop back to the main tourist strip. We then had Udon for lunch at Ozuru, the chewy noodles were complemented by the broth which was a lot more flavourful than the kitsune Udon we are accustomed to back in Perth. After lunch we head home to put the kids to nap before venturing out in the evening towards Togetsukyo Bridge overlooking the pristine Katsura river flowing gracefully from Mt Arashi in the backdrop. The view was breathtaking and we crossed over to Arashiyama park where the kids had a great time running around free range. As the sun was setting, we head back to the town centre, took a novelty Randen ride and grab some food (Naruse's Unagi, Upit's Burger) en route to our accommodation to eat in before calling it a day.
Day 5 Kyoto (Friday)
After checking out we took the Saga line to JR Kyoto station and forwarded the medium sized luggage to the 4th accommodation in Osaka using Crosta. We then did some light shopping at Yodabashi Camera Kyoto as my MIL shoes had kick the bucket and we needed a replacement. Manage to sneak in the only ramen meal of the trip at Ramen Chabuton located upstairs. It was a fairly small shop but we were lucky to get a table just before the Friday lunch rush hour and our ramen cravings were thoroughly satiated. We put the kids down for a quick nap as we make our way back to JR Kyoto to take the Saga line towards Kyoto railway museum. This is an underrated attraction with so much to do and we could have spent the whole day here if I knew they had coin lockers. There were many interactive and educational displays relating to train components in addition to multiple play areas upstairs as well as an outdoor playground! There's also a mockup ticket gate for kids to learn how to purchase a ticket and pass through the gate. Our kids loved the ball pit, toy train area and large train simulator. We couldn't squeeze enough time to explore the 3rd floor or watch the diorama presentation or board the Steam Locomotive as it was getting late. We took a taxi to check-in at Kamoya Ryokan before taking the bus to Nishiki Market for dinner. It's about 6pm and most of the shops were shutting and the remaining ones that are open had queues building up quickly. We ended up waiting 30 mins to eat sushi at Sushi Say. There's a limited range of cooked food including skewers which we got for our kids while we share a nigiri platter and sashimi. After dinner we went to the basement of Daimaru Kyoto across the road to get some baked goods for brekky before taking the taxi home to crash.
Day 6 Kyoto (Saturday)
My MIL wanted to take it easy and explore the area at her own pace so we had a more spontaneous day. After brekky, we took the bus to Yasaka Shrine and started our trek towards Heian Jingu, stopping along the way to enjoy the blossoming park and munching on food from street vendors. We paid to enter the shrine garden (600 yen per adult) which was very worth it for a 30 minute stroll and escape from the bustling crowd outside. We grab some food to eat from the street vendors as one of the kid slept and then head to the playground across the road (Wagener Square) and spent a good 30 minutes there even though it was a bit basic (Perth is blessed with many great playgrounds). Once both kids are feeling refreshed we felt adventurous and took the bus to attempt the hike up Kiyomizu-dera. Since its a Saturday, the Sannenzaka path was packed with phenomenal crowds with the occasional car coming through and splitting the crowd apart. I carried the infant to sleep while my wife push our toddler on the stroller as we slowly make our way up, stopping by for a nice matcha latte and softserve at Here cafe to recharge. We eventually reached the base of the temple after 30 minutes and decided against entering due to the massive crowds (& stairs!). On the way down we reached the fork that branches into Ninenzaka and thought we try giving it a go. There were a lot more stairs over this side and we had to carry the stroller through the steps while waiting for the crowd to advance before us. As physically draining as it was, we felt a sense of achievement as we manage to snap a photo with the iconic Hokanji temple. We took the bus home after that and had an enjoyable dinner at Okonomiyaki Yoshino next door before an early night to recover.
Day 7 Kyoto - Nara - Osaka (Sunday)
We had some leftover food for brekky before checking out and heading to JR Kyoto via taxi. We head to the Kintetsu line and boarded the Vistacar limited express train to Nara. I've booked for the private room down stairs which was pretty spacious for the 5 of us and our luggage. After arriving at Kintetsu-Nara station, we took the 100 yen tourist bus to the famous Nara Deer Park and started exploring the area. There were plenty of deer roaming throughout/ resting on the ground and several vendors at the entrance selling deer crackers. After the kids were done feeding 2 sets of crackers, we head to Mizuya Chaya for lunch. There were limited seating so we sat by the side and ate with the bowl in our hands while feeding the kids. Probably the best Udon we had in our lives (level above Ozuru in Arashiyama and Hifumiya in Perth). Time for a nap so we put the kids down while making our way to have a closer look at Todaiji temple as there were too many stairs to Kasuga-taisha and we have yet to recover. We had our first Cremia here and it was amazing. After the kids woke up we took the bus back to Kintetsu-Nara station and explored the nearby street while waiting for our train. We then boarded the HINOTORI limited express bound for Osaka. While walking towards the hotel to check in, we were passing by Dotombori and opted to have a quick dinner and call it a day rather than coming out again after checking in and offloading our luggage. We ended up having curry at Hariju Dotombori Curry shop which taste d like a homely nourishing meal. After dinner we took the taxi to the hotel and fortunately our 2 other luggage that we forwarded days before are waiting for us to collect. Did some repacking and also laundry at a nearby laundromat before sleep.
Day 8 Osaka: Osaka Bay Area (Monday)
Started the day with brekky at MOS Burger just outside our hotel before taking the metro train to Osaka Bay Area. There were plenty to see as we approach the Kaiyukan, large LEGO animal displays, the large ferris wheel and Disney characters. The ticketing and entry time is staggered which is a good idea to control the amount of crowds going in and out. I started queueing at 1035am and got entry for 11am which was fair (opted not to book timeslot online as it can be unpredictable with kids and public transit) but we didn't felt like its a long wait as the kids were running around and enjoying the ocean view. The entry also have a photographer stationed to take a family polaroid with a whale shark replica for FREE. We were impressed with the aquarium's efficient layout where some prominent displays (Whale Shark, Seals etc) span across multiple floors so you can still enjoy them later on if you missed it earlier due to the crowds. Apart from sea creatures there are also Arctic mammals and birds (Puffins) from all over the world. The kids were over stimulated by lunch time so we head to the food court at Tempozan Market Place to refuel. After lunch we took the kids for a ferris wheel ride before putting both to sleep while we make our way to Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street via metro line. As the kids were still asleep, I rested at Daimaru with my MIL while my wife went shopping. This turn out to be a fantastic place with a floor dedicated for kids (Pokemon centre, Pokemon cafe, BorneLund mini play area with many display toys available for sampling). The kids spent the rest of the day here after they woke up and we had dinner at the dining floor. There were queues everywhere and we chose to wait at Aozora Blue as they offer udon made with a higher wheat ratio here. Regrettably the kids didn't enjoy as much and prefer regular ones that we are used to. After dinner we took away cheescake from Rikuro for dessert back at our hotel. I made sure to online check in our flights before I go to bed.
Day 9 Osaka: Dotombori (Tuesday)
Our final day in Japan and we chose to do some shopping and take it easy. Tried Doutor Coffee for brekky (took a while to find as it was underground) before walking to Don Quijote at Dotombori. There's 6 floors crammed with various items: snacks, electronics, clothing, non prescription medication, toys, collectibles as well as a functional ferris wheel (operates after 2pm). That being said the kids got bored after awhile and didn't really enjoy much as there wasn't much space to move around. I brought them out to stroll around the Ebisu-bashi Bridge while my wife and MIL continue their haul. It was certainly a sight to behold: countless amount of large LCD screens with surround sound on full blast from every high rise building, street buskers vying for attention from crowds that were constantly on the move, tourists taking selfies in front of the iconic Glicoman. Sadly it started to drizzle so I quickly entered the Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street undercover area and look for a place to have lunch. I stumbled across a Yoshinoya & Hanamaru joint food hall which was bustling with both locals and foreigners. You have to order and get your food from the counter before you can occupy a table so I waited for my wife and MIL to arrive before we start queueing up. We had the gyudon and beef Udon with onsen egg along with chicken karaage and tempura. There's also a condiment station with toppings to complement your udon as well as free tea and water. Everything was very affordable and best of all we didn't had to wait long. After lunch my wife continuing shopping while we head to Daimaru for the kids to have a nap and play afterwards. I noticed there's a bridge that connects each floor to the Parco next door and discovered a unique floor full of pop culture themed stores including a studio Ghibli store featuring Totoro and No-Face displays, a 2 ft tall Godzilla, Ultraman, Capcom superstore, Sanrio (Hello Kitty), Snoopy, Rilakkuma and also a LEGO store. The kids had a great time browsing and also playing with LEGO before my wife reunites with us. As it's nearing dinner time, I thought we try our luck getting a table at Ganko Dotombori and make our way towards Ebisu-bashi Bridge. The view here is even more spectacular at night with the contrasting lights as well as numerous LCD displays illuminating the area. Unfortunately there's a lengthy wait at Ganko and our party voted for street food instead which turn out surprising well. Kids devoured a dozen gyozas while we had takoyaki, kobe beef nigiri, yakitori and yakiniku skewers as we strolled along the street. It was still early so we made a detour towards Hozenji before walking back the hotel. Then we stumbled upon an arcade (Amuse Factory AXE) which naturally drawn the kids in, we got popcorn from a vending machine there and it was enough to keep the kids happy on our trek back. Before taking our last sleep in Japan, we organized our luggage and get them ready for check out the next day.
Day 10 Osaka: Sayonara (Wednesday)
Checked out of the hotel and took a private airport taxi to KIX. Had brekky at McD and Lawsons and surprised to find that the food here costs the same as outside (e.g. McD/ Hungry Jacks at Malaysian/ Australian airports cost more than the metro/ suburban outlets). Boarded the flight and bid Japan farewell for now while soaking in the surreal time we had.
List of accommodations for 3 adults and 1 child + 1 infant/ toddler
1. Orange House 701 (22,500 yen for 2 nights) 10/10
Location is not bad in a quiet area South of the bustling Dotombori area with Konbinis and JR Imamiya within walking distance. Washing machine, shower and stove took some time to figure out and my kid accidentally turned on the stove but luckily there's a safety button. Overall a brilliant accommodation at an affordable price and will consider returning if we come back to Osaka with kids.
2. Arashiyama bamboo guest house (55,650 yen for 2 nights + 1200 yen tax) 8/10
Prime location 1 min away from JR station, Lawson and walking distances to the local tourist strip, Bamboo Grove, Tenryu-ji and Togetsukyo Bridge. However the room is located on the 3rd floor with no lift so it can be a challenge for kids and older folk. The owner was kind enough to carry our 2 X 20kg luggage up and speaks a little English. The stay was rather comfortable even with futons to sleep on while my MIL slept on one of the single beds. We are unlikely returning to Arashiyama but would recommend this place if it suits your budget.
3. Kamoya Ryokan (35,400 yen for 2 nights + 2000 yen tax) 7.5/10
Not as central as the other accommodations but still within 10 mins walking distance to JR and bus lines. This is a shared accommodation so fridge, microwave and hot/ cold water is in the common area but we have a private bathroom to use. There are no beds so we all slept side by side on futons in the same room. For some reason kids are also taxed to stay a night here (200 yen) but the host was super friendly, spoke a bit of basic English and helped us with ordering a taxi when we checked out. For the price this is not a bad place for short term stay if cosleeping on futons together as a family is acceptable. Bonus: the okonomiyaki place next door is quite good albeit requiring a bit more effort to communicate but is worth it as plenty of locals seem to frequent there and our kids love the yakisoba.
4. Best Western Hotel Fino Osaka Shinsaibashi (40,450 yen for 3 nights) 8/10
Functional hotel relatively close to Shinsaibashi shopping street and Dotombori. 1 min walk away from Osaka metro station and 7 Eleven. There's also a 24 hour laundromat 5 mins walk away. Facilities are bare minimal but gets the job done as we only needed the place to crash and freshen up since there's a lot of shopping and remaining sightseeing to be done. All reception staff spoke English well and check in/ out was rather smooth. I would consider staying again if the rooms were larger but can't complain at this price point and location.
List of eateries we consider returning

• Yasaiya Mei
• Ejuan
• Kijurou
• Ozuru
• Upit's Burger
• Ramen Chabuton
• Okonomiyaki Yoshino
• Mizuya Chaya
• Yoshinoya & Hanamaru

Highlight of each day for the kids

1. Wandering around Life supermarket and exploring a new accommodation
2. Running around 300m above ground at the Abeno Harukas sky garden while having fruits/ snacks in between
3. Visiting Kimono Forest after dinner, watching the randen pass by at the crossing
4. Running around at Arashiyama park and watching the majestic Katsura river flowing rapidly
5. The outdoor playground at Kyoto railway museum among many other fun things there
6. The playground at Wagener Square across Heian Jingu
7. Interacting with deer and eating udon outdoors
8. Seeing different sea animals up close and ferris wheel ride after
9. Making friends at BorneLund and having imaginary play together despite the language barrier

Lessons learned (not in chronological order)

General tips

• We prepared about 160,000 yen cash before arriving at Japan but also have money via 1 x transfer wise debit card (digital), 1 x Westpac credit card (digital), 1 x ING debit card (physical). We ended up withdrawing a further 200,000 yen worth of cash. We opted not to bring any AUD as the rate is quite poor in Japan since most would prefer foreign exchangers would prefer USD.
• We didn't get to use our digital cards as most places in Kansai (Kanto might be different) that offer card payments still requires a physical card to read the chip.
• Please remember to bring the physical card of the credit card used for any online booking to avoid the stress I endured on day 3.
• We booked all the transit tickets online about a month prior and find it worthwhile rather than spending 15 - 30 mins in queue at the ticket counters. The limited express tickets go crazy fast and I recommend booking them the hour they become available (1 month prior your transit date and as soon as it is open in Japan time).
• We booked all 4 accommodations via booking.com and find the messenger via the app very handy in liaising with the owne receptionist on whether we can offload our luggage earlier or forward our luggage a few days in advance. One of them even told me that I can check in few hours earlier as the room was ready. Regardless of what platform you use, try to communicate with the accommodation prior your arrival if you are considering forwarding luggage or dropping them off before your official check in time.
• Booking multiple accommodations over a short span of time is very tiring as we are needing to worry about getting our luggage from A to B every second day but only able to check in the next place 5 - 6 hours after checking out the previous place (Most checkin starts from 3pm and checkout from 10am). Our transition days are always stressful as we don't get to do much due to the timing while handling multiple baggage so the kids are crankier.
• Rubbish/ garbage cans are mainly found on major train stations or shopping malls as well as konbinis. Most vending machines only have a recycle bin but we have plenty of disposable nappy bags which we use as rubbish bags if needed.
• We had 3 data Sims about 5GB each which was sufficient for the 9 days (navigation, Google translate, WhatsApp voice call). Free wifi is available at most places which we use whenever we need to photo dump on WhatsApp group chats or play YouTube for the kids.
• My eSim stopped working when we arrived at Kyoto from Osaka but luckily I tried rebooting my phone and it connected to the local network after. Another down side of data only Sim is there is no Japanese mobile number which can be handy (make reservations at restaurants or signing up for taxi apps to get taxi).
• We use Google Maps and Japan Travel by NAVITIME App to plan our overall route each day, public transit details is quite clear via Google Maps with several options for different J metro/ bus lines. While Japan Travel App is able to approximate cost of taxi which was useful for comparison.
• For translation, we used DeepL app when we wanted to converse with someone in Japanese and Google Translate for written Japanese translation via the camera.
• In Osaka, getting around via JR and Metro is optimal in terms of time and cost; In Kyoto, buses are more readily available but be prepared to stand shoulder to shoulder as the buses are not big and averages around 30 - 50 people. We recommend a taxi if travelling a short distance (<10 minutes) for a family that can fit into a single car.
• You can forward luggage at your hotel or local 7 eleven via Yamato transport within Osaka.
• The Jikan refreshing legs patch worked well for me but my wife got woken up few times as her feet felt cold due to the cooling effect. We got some heat patches the next day and it worked better for her.
• A few Japanese phrases go along way and perhaps it's why we mostly get friendly responses (arigato gozaimas, ohaiyo, konnichiwa, kore onegaishimas, doitashi mashite, hitotsu onegaishimas, daijorbudes, kodomo).
• The basement level of most department stores/ shopping malls sells a variety of package deserts and often a bakery opened till 8pm where we sometimes go to after dinner to get brekky for the next morning.
• Some malls have an express lift (stops only at 1F and 10F) and it may be quicker to use those in combination with escalators to get to the level you like quickly.
• Coin lockers are found is almost every major attraction and JR station but finding a large one that is available can be challenging so allow extra time. Most coin lockers only take 100 yen coins with the exception of newer ones which also takes IC cards as payment.
• Some food courts have drinkable water for you to refill your bottles but otherwise vending machines and konbinis will quench your hydration needs (the peach drink is pretty addictive).
• Other than Booking.com, Google maps, Google Translate, DeepL and Japan Travel by NAVITIME, we didn't really used the other apps we downloaded before hand but you might find a use for them: Mamamap, NERV, Ecbo cloak, Klook.

Child related tips

• Younger kids take awhile to acclimatize to a foreign environment and our kids were more lethargic than they normally are during the day, sometimes needing 2 naps instead of 1 so be prepared to adjust your plans and skip over some places that were catered specifically for them if needed.
• Google maps only tells you the distance to get you from Point A to Point B horizontally. Unfortunately it doesn't consider the routes involving travelling multiple floors to avoid heavy traffic even with wheelchair access enabled. For instance you can go across Tenshiba Garden from JR Tennoji via the overhead bridge (not ideal as the route is longer with a stroller) or underground (best with a stroller but unfortunately Google Maps doesn't show this route and we stumble across it by chance).
• Google maps navigation over multiple floors is also not very accurate but the local directory maps are very informative so take extra time to study it and find the nearest access (parents room, lift or exit to above ground/ underground).
• The lift (singular as most train station platforms only share one lift unless it's a major one like Osaka/ Kyoto etc), are often located at one end of the platform so allow additional 15 - 20 minutes when travelling with strollers or luggage.
• Most department stores/ shopping malls (Daimaru etc) have a floor suitable for kids with toy samples for playing and sometimes even a free play area (Bornelund).
• Our kids love the Butaman from Horai and we probably purchased from 5 different stores throughout the trip (they are located at almost every major station and department store). Find something that works for your kids that can be found readily (7-11, family mart, Lawson's, daily Yamazaki etc) as back up when they didn't want to eat where you were dining at or if they fell asleep and skipped a meal.
• 100 yen stores (Daiso, 3 coins, Seria, Can*Do, Watts) have plenty of cheap kid activities (e.g. sticker books, puzzles, bubble wand etc) that can entertain them throughout the day/ in restaurants/ in the showe in the accommodation before bed etc.
• Paid Attractions in Kansai that are worthwhile if your kids are under 5 (6 and above may be charged separately): Tennoji Zoo, Abeno Harukas 300, Kyoto Railway Museum, Osaka Kaiyukan, Tempozan Ferris Wheel.
• Other brekky alternatives that we liked apart from konbinis/ bakeries were MOS burgers and Doutor coffee. Gyudons (sukiya, matsuya, yoshinoya) morning menu was a bit too heavy for our kids and other options we would have tried were too far from where we stayed (Tully's, McDonalds, KoHiKan).
• Some places require you order a main meal per adult but we are small eaters so we make sure what we ordered was something our kids might eat (not spicy etc).
• Tabelog is useful to tell you the size of the restaurant and we avoided anywhere that seats less than 20 people to save time.
• We tried to eat at a restaurant for lunch and dinner the first few days but actually realize the kids enjoy munching on small eats from konbinis/ street vendors more than a casual sit down meal so we were a bit more spontaneous the second half of the trip.
• Watch out for deer poo at Nara especially when pushing your stroller! Most of the deer are quite friendly and let you pet them but don't touch their tail area as they can get defensive. If your kids are feeding away the crackers too quickly, break them in half so you have more 'ammunition'.
• Metro and JR Trains (including limited express ones) stop for less than 10 seconds. Please remember to unlock your stroller when you are approaching your next stop and prepare to jump out.

Finally got around sharing our wonderful experience in Kansai (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024). We are a family of 4 from Perth, Australia (1 x Toddler turning 4 end of this month and 1 x Infant about 18 months old) joined by my MIL from Malaysia. It was our first time trip to Japan but the second time flying 6 hours long with 2 kids. We chose to travel during this period as it was during Easter holidays and also the most favourable weather for our kids. As we have 4 separate accommodations booked over 9 days, we try to travel as light as possible: 2 x large suitcase, 1 x medium suitcase, 2 x medium bags, 1 x bag pack, 1 x dedicated bag for infant carrier and kids' jumpers + 1 stroller. Our kids still take nap(s) during the day and our plan was having the toddler sleep on the stroller and the infant in the carrier or the stroller if toddler is not using.
After extensive research (mostly from this sub) we still found the first few days to be quite hectic and wish we know some of the things beforehand (listed below the itinerary). I hope this post can help young families who are considering travelling to Japan with kids or those who have travelled to Japan before kids came to the picture to do it again with confidence.

9 Day Itinerary (1 Apr 2024 - 10 Apr 2024)

Day 1 Osaka: Namba (Monday)
Our flight from KUL arrived KIX around 10am and boarded the Nankai Rapid (bought 1 month prior online) to Shin-Imamiya station after getting our luggage. We originally planned to take a taxi from there but failed to find any taxi for 20 mins so we end up walking to our accommodation as the kids were tired of waiting. After offloading our luggage we manage to hail a taxi and head to Namba Parks to rest and unwind. Had a refreshing lunch at Yasaiya Mei (mains + all you can eat side dishes including veg tempura) and went to explore the rooftop parks garden before putting the kids to nap. After the kids woke up we took a taxi back to check in officially. Everyone was quite tired thus we opted to stay in and get dinner from Life supermarket nearby. This was probably the most enjoyable part of the day for the kids wandering around a foreign supermarket as we bought dinner and some light snacks. After putting the kids to bed, we did some laundry and packed our 1st luggage to send away.
Day 2 Osaka: Tennoji (Tuesday)
While everyone was getting ready, I went to the nearby 7-Eleven to forward our 1st luggage to the 4th accommodation via Yamato transport. The shop attendant was helpful and guided me through the process as we communicated via deepL. We walked to the Lawson's at JR Imamiya to get brekkky before taking the Osaka loop Line to JR tennoji. We took quite a while to navigate towards Tennoji Zoo from JR Tennoji but eventually got there after a 15 min detour. It was quite crowded for a Tuesday morning but the kids get to roam around the Tenshiba garden while I queue up for tickets (500 yen per adult). One of the kids fell asleep in the zoo so we decided to just grab food to go at the supermarket outside the zoo for lunch. We then head towards Abeno Q's mall to shop and put the other kid to sleep. There was quite a lot of hot food along the way and we manage to grab some for the kids to snack on after their nap (butaman from Horai 555, mochi donut from Mister Donut, taiyaki etc). There's a fantastic area for kids to play (kid, play, study) at the ground floor with different sensory setup and soft blocks for stacking/ balancing. I spent close to 2 hours there with 2 kids while my wife and MIL went shopping. After that we had dinner at Grand Capital Toyoutei at the Kintetsu mall dining floor before heading to our final activity of the day: Abeno Harukas 300. Tickets were a bit steep (2000 yen per adult) but we end up staying there for quite a bit and the experience was pretty unique even though we missed the sunset timing. The elevator ride to the top though short left quite an impression. The kids enjoyed running around at the sky garden 2 floors below as we rest and enjoy the night view of the city from about 300m above ground. The journey back to our accommodation was pretty straightforward and the kids got knocked out when we got home. All in all Tennoji was a pleasantly great experience and we have a better understanding about JR station layout and navigating underground.
Day 3 Osaka - Kyoto (Wednesday)
This was a rather hectic day as it rained quite a bit and we struggled to get a taxi after checking out, getting turned down by several taxis with "空车". We eventually found one to bring us to JR Osaka station. Navigating at the station wasn't too difficult after yesterday but there were long queues when we arrived at 10am and I made the fatal mistake of leaving my physical credit card back in Perth and spent 45mins trying to redeem limited express tickets I reserved online. The JR staff were friendly and tried their best to help but they can only recommend me cancelling my initial reservation and buying new tickets (cancellation fee was about 2300 yen for 3 adults). As soon as we got our tickets we sprinted to the underground gate about 15 mins walk away. I even carried the stroller and kids through an escalator as we didn't want to waste time finding a lift and risk missing the train. We managed to board the limited express train on time and arrived at JR Kyoto which was even more crowded and larger than most international airports. The kids were quite cranky by now as it has been all rush and long waits since they woke up. I split up with my family with 2 luggage that we initially planned to forward to our Arashiyama accommodation via Sagawa. However I was told same day delivery service is only applicable to limited hotels so I stored the luggage at 2 coin lockers and then head to the Kintetsu line ticket counter to redeem the Kyoto-Nara and Nara-Osaka limited express tickets which fortunately doesn't require my credit card details (just reservation number). By the time I reunite with my family it was still raining and both kids fell asleep so we ditched the plan for Kyoto railway museum and instead went browsing for lunch at Porta and Isetan dining floor. We eventually queued to eat at Ejuan for about 25 minutes while one of the kid was still asleep. The wait was worthwhile as the grilled miso black cod was exceptional as was the kids' grilled chicken. Next we went to the skywalk at level 9 briefly before my family went to the toy section at Isetan while I retrieve our luggage from the coin lockers. We board the Saga line bound for Saga-Arashiyama and rested awhile at the accommodation before heading out for dinner after the rain stopped. We walked to Kijurou and fortunately they have space for us provided we order a main meal per adult. The yakiniku and Wagyu rib loin bowls were pretty good but we find the Hitsumabushi set a bit gimmicky. After dinner we stopped by Kimono Forest on our way back and this was probably the highlight of the kids day.
Day 4 Kyoto: Arashiyama (Thursday)
Had Lawson's for brekky before heading out to Kimono Rental Amuya to hired kimonos for my wife and toddler including hairstyling. The shop was actually a house with the living area turned into a studio and only the owner working by herself so we waited for about half an hour before walking towards the Bamboo Forest and Tenryu-ji gardens (500 yen entry from the north gate but well worth it for the blooming sakura and picturesque lake). It was crowded as expected and everyone was moving slowly so it took us about an hour to complete the loop back to the main tourist strip. We then had Udon for lunch at Ozuru, the chewy noodles were complemented by the broth which was a lot more flavourful than the kitsune Udon we are accustomed to back in Perth. After lunch we head home to put the kids to nap before venturing out in the evening towards Togetsukyo Bridge overlooking the pristine Katsura river flowing gracefully from Mt Arashi in the backdrop. The view was breathtaking and we crossed over to Arashiyama park where the kids had a great time running around free range. As the sun was setting, we head back to the town centre, took a novelty Randen ride and grab some food (Naruse's Unagi, Upit's Burger) en route to our accommodation to eat in before calling it a day.
Day 5 Kyoto (Friday)
After checking out we took the Saga line to JR Kyoto station and forwarded the medium sized luggage to the 4th accommodation in Osaka using Crosta. We then did some light shopping at Yodabashi Camera Kyoto as my MIL shoes had kick the bucket and we needed a replacement. Manage to sneak in the only ramen meal of the trip at Ramen Chabuton located upstairs. It was a fairly small shop but we were lucky to get a table just before the Friday lunch rush hour and our ramen cravings were thoroughly satiated. We put the kids down for a quick nap as we make our way back to JR Kyoto to take the Saga line towards Kyoto railway museum. This is an underrated attraction with so much to do and we could have spent the whole day here if I knew they had coin lockers. There were many interactive and educational displays relating to train components in addition to multiple play areas upstairs as well as an outdoor playground! There's also a mockup ticket gate for kids to learn how to purchase a ticket and pass through the gate. Our kids loved the ball pit, toy train area and large train simulator. We couldn't squeeze enough time to explore the 3rd floor or watch the diorama presentation or board the Steam Locomotive as it was getting late. We took a taxi to check-in at Kamoya Ryokan before taking the bus to Nishiki Market for dinner. It's about 6pm and most of the shops were shutting and the remaining ones that are open had queues building up quickly. We ended up waiting 30 mins to eat sushi at Sushi Say. There's a limited range of cooked food including skewers which we got for our kids while we share a nigiri platter and sashimi. After dinner we went to the basement of Daimaru Kyoto across the road to get some baked goods for brekky before taking the taxi home to crash.
Day 6 Kyoto (Saturday)
My MIL wanted to take it easy and explore the area at her own pace so we had a more spontaneous day. After brekky, we took the bus to Yasaka Shrine and started our trek towards Heian Jingu, stopping along the way to enjoy the blossoming park and munching on food from street vendors. We paid to enter the shrine garden (600 yen per adult) which was very worth it for a 30 minute stroll and escape from the bustling crowd outside. We grab some food to eat from the street vendors as one of the kid slept and then head to the playground across the road (Wagener Square) and spent a good 30 minutes there even though it was a bit basic (Perth is blessed with many great playgrounds). Once both kids are feeling refreshed we felt adventurous and took the bus to attempt the hike up Kiyomizu-dera. Since its a Saturday, the Sannenzaka path was packed with phenomenal crowds with the occasional car coming through and splitting the crowd apart. I carried the infant to sleep while my wife push our toddler on the stroller as we slowly make our way up, stopping by for a nice matcha latte and softserve at Here cafe to recharge. We eventually reached the base of the temple after 30 minutes and decided against entering due to the massive crowds (& stairs!). On the way down we reached the fork that branches into Ninenzaka and thought we try giving it a go. There were a lot more stairs over this side and we had to carry the stroller through the steps while waiting for the crowd to advance before us. As physically draining as it was, we felt a sense of achievement as we manage to snap a photo with the iconic Hokanji temple. We took the bus home after that and had an enjoyable dinner at Okonomiyaki Yoshino next door before an early night to recover.
Day 7 Kyoto - Nara - Osaka (Sunday)
We had some leftover food for brekky before checking out and heading to JR Kyoto via taxi. We head to the Kintetsu line and boarded the Vistacar limited express train to Nara. I've booked for the private room down stairs which was pretty spacious for the 5 of us and our luggage. After arriving at Kintetsu-Nara station, we took the 100 yen tourist bus to the famous Nara Deer Park and started exploring the area. There were plenty of deer roaming throughout/ resting on the ground and several vendors at the entrance selling deer crackers. After the kids were done feeding 2 sets of crackers, we head to Mizuya Chaya for lunch. There were limited seating so we sat by the side and ate with the bowl in our hands while feeding the kids. Probably the best Udon we had in our lives (level above Ozuru in Arashiyama and Hifumiya in Perth). Time for a nap so we put the kids down while making our way to have a closer look at Todaiji temple as there were too many stairs to Kasuga-taisha and we have yet to recover. We had our first Cremia here and it was amazing. After the kids woke up we took the bus back to Kintetsu-Nara station and explored the nearby street while waiting for our train. We then boarded the HINOTORI limited express bound for Osaka. While walking towards the hotel to check in, we were passing by Dotombori and opted to have a quick dinner and call it a day rather than coming out again after checking in and offloading our luggage. We ended up having curry at Hariju Dotombori Curry shop which taste d like a homely nourishing meal. After dinner we took the taxi to the hotel and fortunately our 2 other luggage that we forwarded days before are waiting for us to collect. Did some repacking and also laundry at a nearby laundromat before sleep.
Day 8 Osaka: Osaka Bay Area (Monday)
Started the day with brekky at MOS Burger just outside our hotel before taking the metro train to Osaka Bay Area. There were plenty to see as we approach the Kaiyukan, large LEGO animal displays, the large ferris wheel and Disney characters. The ticketing and entry time is staggered which is a good idea to control the amount of crowds going in and out. I started queueing at 1035am and got entry for 11am which was fair (opted not to book timeslot online as it can be unpredictable with kids and public transit) but we didn't felt like its a long wait as the kids were running around and enjoying the ocean view. The entry also have a photographer stationed to take a family polaroid with a whale shark replica for FREE. We were impressed with the aquarium's efficient layout where some prominent displays (Whale Shark, Seals etc) span across multiple floors so you can still enjoy them later on if you missed it earlier due to the crowds. Apart from sea creatures there are also Arctic mammals and birds (Puffins) from all over the world. The kids were over stimulated by lunch time so we head to the food court at Tempozan Market Place to refuel. After lunch we took the kids for a ferris wheel ride before putting both to sleep while we make our way to Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street via metro line. As the kids were still asleep, I rested at Daimaru with my MIL while my wife went shopping. This turn out to be a fantastic place with a floor dedicated for kids (Pokemon centre, Pokemon cafe, BorneLund mini play area with many display toys available for sampling). The kids spent the rest of the day here after they woke up and we had dinner at the dining floor. There were queues everywhere and we chose to wait at Aozora Blue as they offer udon made with a higher wheat ratio here. Regrettably the kids didn't enjoy as much and prefer regular ones that we are used to. After dinner we took away cheescake from Rikuro for dessert back at our hotel. I made sure to online check in our flights before I go to bed.
Day 9 Osaka: Dotombori (Tuesday)
Our final day in Japan and we chose to do some shopping and take it easy. Tried Doutor Coffee for brekky (took a while to find as it was underground) before walking to Don Quijote at Dotombori. There's 6 floors crammed with various items: snacks, electronics, clothing, non prescription medication, toys, collectibles as well as a functional ferris wheel (operates after 2pm). That being said the kids got bored after awhile and didn't really enjoy much as there wasn't much space to move around. I brought them out to stroll around the Ebisu-bashi Bridge while my wife and MIL continue their haul. It was certainly a sight to behold: countless amount of large LCD screens with surround sound on full blast from every high rise building, street buskers vying for attention from crowds that were constantly on the move, tourists taking selfies in front of the iconic Glicoman. Sadly it started to drizzle so I quickly entered the Shinsaibashisuji Shopping Street undercover area and look for a place to have lunch. I stumbled across a Yoshinoya & Hanamaru joint food hall which was bustling with both locals and foreigners. You have to order and get your food from the counter before you can occupy a table so I waited for my wife and MIL to arrive before we start queueing up. We had the gyudon and beef Udon with onsen egg along with chicken karaage and tempura. There's also a condiment station with toppings to complement your udon as well as free tea and water. Everything was very affordable and best of all we didn't had to wait long. After lunch my wife continuing shopping while we head to Daimaru for the kids to have a nap and play afterwards. I noticed there's a bridge that connects each floor to the Parco next door and discovered a unique floor full of pop culture themed stores including a studio Ghibli store featuring Totoro and No-Face displays, a 2 ft tall Godzilla, Ultraman, Capcom superstore, Sanrio (Hello Kitty), Snoopy, Rilakkuma and also a LEGO store. The kids had a great time browsing and also playing with LEGO before my wife reunites with us. As it's nearing dinner time, I thought we try our luck getting a table at Ganko Dotombori and make our way towards Ebisu-bashi Bridge. The view here is even more spectacular at night with the contrasting lights as well as numerous LCD displays illuminating the area. Unfortunately there's a lengthy wait at Ganko and our party voted for street food instead which turn out surprising well. Kids devoured a dozen gyozas while we had takoyaki, kobe beef nigiri, yakitori and yakiniku skewers as we strolled along the street. It was still early so we made a detour towards Hozenji before walking back the hotel. Then we stumbled upon an arcade (Amuse Factory AXE) which naturally drawn the kids in, we got popcorn from a vending machine there and it was enough to keep the kids happy on our trek back. Before taking our last sleep in Japan, we organized our luggage and get them ready for check out the next day.
Day 10 Osaka: Sayonara (Wednesday)
Checked out of the hotel and took a private airport taxi to KIX. Had brekky at McD and Lawsons and surprised to find that the food here costs the same as outside (e.g. McD/ Hungry Jacks at Malaysian/ Australian airports cost more than the metro/ suburban outlets). Boarded the flight and bid Japan farewell for now while soaking in the surreal time we had.
List of accommodations for 3 adults and 1 child + 1 infant/ toddler
1. Orange House 701 (22,500 yen for 2 nights) 10/10
Location is not bad in a quiet area South of the bustling Dotombori area with Konbinis and JR Imamiya within walking distance. Washing machine, shower and stove took some time to figure out and my kid accidentally turned on the stove but luckily there's a safety button. Overall a brilliant accommodation at an affordable price and will consider returning if we come back to Osaka with kids.
2. Arashiyama bamboo guest house (55,650 yen for 2 nights + 1200 yen tax) 8/10
Prime location 1 min away from JR station, Lawson and walking distances to the local tourist strip, Bamboo Grove, Tenryu-ji and Togetsukyo Bridge. However the room is located on the 3rd floor with no lift so it can be a challenge for kids and older folk. The owner was kind enough to carry our 2 X 20kg luggage up and speaks a little English. The stay was rather comfortable even with futons to sleep on while my MIL slept on one of the single beds. We are unlikely returning to Arashiyama but would recommend this place if it suits your budget.
3. Kamoya Ryokan (35,400 yen for 2 nights + 2000 yen tax) 7.5/10
Not as central as the other accommodations but still within 10 mins walking distance to JR and bus lines. This is a shared accommodation so fridge, microwave and hot/ cold water is in the common area but we have a private bathroom to use. There are no beds so we all slept side by side on futons in the same room. For some reason kids are also taxed to stay a night here (200 yen) but the host was super friendly, spoke a bit of basic English and helped us with ordering a taxi when we checked out. For the price this is not a bad place for short term stay if cosleeping on futons together as a family is acceptable. Bonus: the okonomiyaki place next door is quite good albeit requiring a bit more effort to communicate but is worth it as plenty of locals seem to frequent there and our kids love the yakisoba.
4. Best Western Hotel Fino Osaka Shinsaibashi (40,450 yen for 3 nights) 8/10
Functional hotel relatively close to Shinsaibashi shopping street and Dotombori. 1 min walk away from Osaka metro station and 7 Eleven. There's also a 24 hour laundromat 5 mins walk away. Facilities are bare minimal but gets the job done as we only needed the place to crash and freshen up since there's a lot of shopping and remaining sightseeing to be done. All reception staff spoke English well and check in/ out was rather smooth. I would consider staying again if the rooms were larger but can't complain at this price point and location.
List of eateries we consider returning

• Yasaiya Mei
• Ejuan
• Kijurou
• Ozuru
• Upit's Burger
• Ramen Chabuton
• Okonomiyaki Yoshino
• Mizuya Chaya
• Yoshinoya & Hanamaru

Highlight of each day for the kids

1. Wandering around Life supermarket and exploring a new accommodation
2. Running around 300m above ground at the Abeno Harukas sky garden while having fruits/ snacks in between
3. Visiting Kimono Forest after dinner, watching the randen pass by at the crossing
4. Running around at Arashiyama park and watching the majestic Katsura river flowing rapidly
5. The outdoor playground at Kyoto railway museum among many other fun things there
6. The playground at Wagener Square across Heian Jingu
7. Interacting with deer and eating udon outdoors
8. Seeing different sea animals up close and ferris wheel ride after
9. Making friends at BorneLund and having imaginary play together despite the language barrier

Lessons learned (not in chronological order)

General tips

• We prepared about 160,000 yen cash before arriving at Japan but also have money via 1 x transfer wise debit card (digital), 1 x Westpac credit card (digital), 1 x ING debit card (physical). We ended up withdrawing a further 200,000 yen worth of cash. We opted not to bring any AUD as the rate is quite poor in Japan since most would prefer foreign exchangers would prefer USD.
• We didn't get to use our digital cards as most places in Kansai (Kanto might be different) that offer card payments still requires a physical card to read the chip.
• Please remember to bring the physical card of the credit card used for any online booking to avoid the stress I endured on day 3.
• We booked all the transit tickets online about a month prior and find it worthwhile rather than spending 15 - 30 mins in queue at the ticket counters. The limited express tickets go crazy fast and I recommend booking them the hour they become available (1 month prior your transit date and as soon as it is open in Japan time).
• We booked all 4 accommodations via booking.com and find the messenger via the app very handy in liaising with the owne receptionist on whether we can offload our luggage earlier or forward our luggage a few days in advance. One of them even told me that I can check in few hours earlier as the room was ready. Regardless of what platform you use, try to communicate with the accommodation prior your arrival if you are considering forwarding luggage or dropping them off before your official check in time.
• Booking multiple accommodations over a short span of time is very tiring as we are needing to worry about getting our luggage from A to B every second day but only able to check in the next place 5 - 6 hours after checking out the previous place (Most checkin starts from 3pm and checkout from 10am). Our transition days are always stressful as we don't get to do much due to the timing while handling multiple baggage so the kids are crankier.
• Rubbish/ garbage cans are mainly found on major train stations or shopping malls as well as konbinis. Most vending machines only have a recycle bin but we have plenty of disposable nappy bags which we use as rubbish bags if needed.
• We had 3 data Sims about 5GB each which was sufficient for the 9 days (navigation, Google translate, WhatsApp voice call). Free wifi is available at most places which we use whenever we need to photo dump on WhatsApp group chats or play YouTube for the kids.
• My eSim stopped working when we arrived at Kyoto from Osaka but luckily I tried rebooting my phone and it connected to the local network after. Another down side of data only Sim is there is no Japanese mobile number which can be handy (make reservations at restaurants or signing up for taxi apps to get taxi).
• We use Google Maps and Japan Travel by NAVITIME App to plan our overall route each day, public transit details is quite clear via Google Maps with several options for different J metro/ bus lines. While Japan Travel App is able to approximate cost of taxi which was useful for comparison.
• For translation, we used DeepL app when we wanted to converse with someone in Japanese and Google Translate for written Japanese translation via the camera.
• In Osaka, getting around via JR and Metro is optimal in terms of time and cost; In Kyoto, buses are more readily available but be prepared to stand shoulder to shoulder as the buses are not big and averages around 30 - 50 people. We recommend a taxi if travelling a short distance (<10 minutes) for a family that can fit into a single car.
• You can forward luggage at your hotel or local 7 eleven via Yamato transport within Osaka.
• The Jikan refreshing legs patch worked well for me but my wife got woken up few times as her feet felt cold due to the cooling effect. We got some heat patches the next day and it worked better for her.
• A few Japanese phrases go along way and perhaps it's why we mostly get friendly responses (arigato gozaimas, ohaiyo, konnichiwa, kore onegaishimas, doitashi mashite, hitotsu onegaishimas, daijorbudes, kodomo).
• The basement level of most department stores/ shopping malls sells a variety of package deserts and often a bakery opened till 8pm where we sometimes go to after dinner to get brekky for the next morning.
• Some malls have an express lift (stops only at 1F and 10F) and it may be quicker to use those in combination with escalators to get to the level you like quickly.
• Coin lockers are found is almost every major attraction and JR station but finding a large one that is available can be challenging so allow extra time. Most coin lockers only take 100 yen coins with the exception of newer ones which also takes IC cards as payment.
• Some food courts have drinkable water for you to refill your bottles but otherwise vending machines and konbinis will quench your hydration needs (the peach drink is pretty addictive).
• Other than Booking.com, Google maps, Google Translate, DeepL and Japan Travel by NAVITIME, we didn't really used the other apps we downloaded before hand but you might find a use for them: Mamamap, NERV, Ecbo cloak, Klook.

Child related tips

• Younger kids take awhile to acclimatize to a foreign environment and our kids were more lethargic than they normally are during the day, sometimes needing 2 naps instead of 1 so be prepared to adjust your plans and skip over some places that were catered specifically for them if needed.
• Google maps only tells you the distance to get you from Point A to Point B horizontally. Unfortunately it doesn't consider the routes involving travelling multiple floors to avoid heavy traffic even with wheelchair access enabled. For instance you can go across Tenshiba Garden from JR Tennoji via the overhead bridge (not ideal as the route is longer with a stroller) or underground (best with a stroller but unfortunately Google Maps doesn't show this route and we stumble across it by chance).
• Google maps navigation over multiple floors is also not very accurate but the local directory maps are very informative so take extra time to study it and find the nearest access (parents room, lift or exit to above ground/ underground).
• The lift (singular as most train station platforms only share one lift unless it's a major one like Osaka/ Kyoto etc), are often located at one end of the platform so allow additional 15 - 20 minutes when travelling with strollers or luggage.
• Most department stores/ shopping malls (Daimaru etc) have a floor suitable for kids with toy samples for playing and sometimes even a free play area (Bornelund).
• Our kids love the Butaman from Horai and we probably purchased from 5 different stores throughout the trip (they are located at almost every major station and department store). Find something that works for your kids that can be found readily (7-11, family mart, Lawson's, daily Yamazaki etc) as back up when they didn't want to eat where you were dining at or if they fell asleep and skipped a meal.
• 100 yen stores (Daiso, 3 coins, Seria, Can*Do, Watts) have plenty of cheap kid activities (e.g. sticker books, puzzles, bubble wand etc) that can entertain them throughout the day/ in restaurants/ in the showe in the accommodation before bed etc.
• Paid Attractions in Kansai that are worthwhile if your kids are under 5 (6 and above may be charged separately): Tennoji Zoo, Abeno Harukas 300, Kyoto Railway Museum, Osaka Kaiyukan, Tempozan Ferris Wheel.
• Other brekky alternatives that we liked apart from konbinis/ bakeries were MOS burgers and Doutor coffee. Gyudons (sukiya, matsuya, yoshinoya) morning menu was a bit too heavy for our kids and other options we would have tried were too far from where we stayed (Tully's, McDonalds, KoHiKan).
• Some places require you order a main meal per adult but we are small eaters so we make sure what we ordered was something our kids might eat (not spicy etc).
• Tabelog is useful to tell you the size of the restaurant and we avoided anywhere that seats less than 20 people to save time.
• We tried to eat at a restaurant for lunch and dinner the first few days but actually realize the kids enjoy munching on small eats from konbinis/ street vendors more than a casual sit down meal so we were a bit more spontaneous the second half of the trip.
• Watch out for deer poo at Nara especially when pushing your stroller! Most of the deer are quite friendly and let you pet them but don't touch their tail area as they can get defensive. If your kids are feeding away the crackers too quickly, break them in half so you have more 'ammunition'.
• Metro and JR Trains (including limited express ones) stop for less than 10 seconds. Please remember to unlock your stroller when you are approaching your next stop and prepare to jump out.