Boyfriend cardigan knitting pattern

TLDR: I’m trans and part of the reason I realized that was was because I didn’t like the way girls would cope with their daddy issues by dating me and treating me like a man
Something that has always bothered me especially in regards to my daddy issues, gender identity and transition is that all my ex girlfriends and girls in general that were interested in me treated me like a man. And more specifically they were clearly more attracted to me as a male figure than as a person. Let me explain. Something of note here is that I live in a small hick southern town. So part of the reason I think this happened was because the dating pool of people who aren’t raging racist republicans is small.(I’m very visibly of the brown complexion)I came out as bisexual when I was 11. And was always both subtly effeminate and feminine. When high school started I sometimes wore skirts and put on make up sometimes. I did get a lot of shit for it. I realized I might not be a boy. And soon after I started dating. But I noticed a pattern with my partners.
Even before I would date these girls I would always remind them that I’m Bisexual. And that I was also questioning my gender and didn’t like being gender typical boy(turns out I didn’t like being a boy at all). Despite this the girls I dated would always treat me like a man. Always wanting me to hold them, comfort and reassure them. Telling me things like “You’re such a good boyfriend” “You’re the kindest boy ever” and even with my skirt and make up they would still use “handsome” instead of “pretty” to compliment me. Even when I told them I didn’t like the word handsome to describe me. What didn’t help was most of them straight up admitting and making jokes about having daddy issues.
The breaking point in all of these relationships is that they eventually wanted me to be sexually dominant and were very submissive to me. I kept trying to get them to understand how strong each of them was. How they didn’t and shouldn’t rely solely on me to lift them up emotionally. But none of them understood. Anytime they tried doing something submissive whether both physically or emotionally it was always upsetting. They wanted to be submissive to me and I wanted an equal. They were looking for a strong male figure to guide them emotionally and dominate them physically but I wasn’t that. My dad was never around. He abandoned me and my family. I never had a male role model. And each time I dated one of these girls they were looking at me as a male role model and it made me uncomfortable. Because I feel as if I was the last person in our town to ask that of.
Because while I know not having a dad has affected me. I’ve mostly moved on. My daddy issues make it so that I find it hard to accept and truly respect any male authority figures. It doesn’t make me interested in older men. But it was always so uncomfortable for these girls to date me and look for a strong male figure when I myself also needed that. I would have loved having a dad growing up and even now as an adult at 19 I wouldn’t mind a father.
But I have to be realistic and I have been. I haven’t looked for a male figure. I was 15 when I started accepting that that was never going to happen.
I know this vent might be better suited for a trans sub but the daddy issue aspects are something I’ve been wanting to address. Because now I’m about to start HRT, and I have no idea when I’ll start dating again. I go into college this fall so I hope I can meet someone there? Hopefully with HRT I’ll start to pass and people will stop treating me like a man if I were to get into a relationship with them.

Ok I have a friend who I’ve known since college. In the beginning everything was cool, but now I’m starting to notice a behavior pattern. The minute she sees a man or receives male attention she becomes a different person. And everything has to go her way.
For example: I was going through a rough time then. So she wanted to spoil me and I was very grateful. We’re at the mall and this guy comes up and starts flirting with her, and she invites him to come have lunch with us. I’m like ummm. After lunch she’s like I’m sorry girl I won’t do that again. I brushed it off.
She asked the future bride and groom (friends from college) to hook her up with the one of the groomsmen cause she’s trying to be married with kids and she couldn’t stop texting me how fine this man is and how he’s going to be her future boyfriend.
She gets on a dating app and meets a guy who was a walking red flag. She would call me to have girl chat just for her to cut it short because he’s calling and they weren’t even in a relationship. She gets a boyfriend and every time we talk on the phone that’s all she talked about. Even when we went to “the happiest place on earth” just the two of us she was texting him or he was the main subject in the conversation.
Now the uncompromising part, she agreed to go to Disneyland for our birthdays. And we know that place isn’t cheap. We park hopped we only went on 9 rides, because she didn’t want to go on alot of then and kept making excuses why. We were gonna close the park out but I was so annoyed with her excuses I said I’m ready to go home.
Lastly our birthdays are in the same month as well as my little sisters. She hits us up and says we should do a birthday trip. She says Vegas, my sister and I weren’t feeling Vegas and put out other options like a cruise. My friend said Vegas was more feasible and convenient for her. I was going to send her info on the cruise as well as info from my travel agent who helped my sister and I on last years cruise. My friend didn’t want to compromise and now we’re not talking.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

I (22f) had a falling out about 3 months ago with my friend (who I'm going to refer to here as Dylan). We met during our second year of college and formed a really close-knit friend group on campus. Most of us met through one person or another, and we pretty much did everything together. It was also during the first semesters after the covid lockdown. There weren't a lot of people on campus, so we ran into each other a lot, being the only few people around. We had a bunch of game nights, movie nights, etc. Sometimes we'd even hang out at the tops of parking garages for picnics.
Dylan and I started to get closer, since we have a lot of the same interests, like Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. We also just found it really easy to open up and talk to each other. I told them a lot about my personal life, including some traumatic experiences I had growing up. They shared some of their hardships with me too. We had very different things happen to us in our lives. Even so, I felt like we developed a strong bond and an ability to tell each other anything and everything. I don't know if this might sound weird or corny, but I think of the first half of our friendship as being a lot like the song "Loser Baby" from Hazbin; We each have some bullshit that we carry, but being able to have that general issue in common (who could emphasize with having a lot weighing on you mentally) made me feel less alone. I had someone to lean on for support to keep moving forward.
Dylan wasn't the only person I had a strong, emotional connection with though. Around the same time that our friend group started, I met my boyfriend (24m). He and I are still together, and I feel incredibly lucky to have him. Over the last three and a half years, we've developed an open line of communication and developed a signifcant amount of trust in each other. Even as a long distance couple to start, we always made time for each other to meet up on weekends or call throughout the week. And we still do. And even during bumps im the road, we're very upfront about our feelings, we take fault when we fuck up, and we talk through what we can do to resolve the problem. And we BOTH follow through on what we discussed.
About a year and a half into my friendship with Dylan (which again, was also a year and a half into my relationship), they admitted to having feelings for me. At the time, Dylan said they wanted to come clean about it in hopes that putting it out in the open would help them move on, so to speak. This probably should've been my first red flag, but I repressed the feeling. I didn't want to think that my best friend was trying to break up my relationship. I convinced myself that they genuinely just wanted to get it off their chest because it was killing them to keep such a secret from me.
From that night on, our friendship was very rocky. We tried giving each other space, but being in the same friend group made it difficult. We also didn't want to tell anyone besides a few people. I was especially worried that airing it to everyone could create an even bigger mess. This meant that there were times when one or both of us avoided our other friends altogether out of respect for each other. Which only made us feel more alone, resulting in us hanging out even more to make up for how we felt. I was also very open about the situation with my boyfriend. He was very understanding, more so than most people would probably expect. He knew that we were very close before their feelings were known to me. And he trusted me that I knew what I was doing when trying to maintain the friendship.
As the situation went on though, Dylan's feelings didn't fade. In fact, they seemed to worsen. Our friend group is generally very touchy-feely. By that, I mean we frequently say "I love you" and hug. Some of my friends have even kissed each other on the cheeks or foreheads while we were tipsy/drunk. Sometimes, we would also say "I love you" to one another with platonic feelings behind it. At least, that's how I viewed it for a while. There were some nights, when Dylan would be really upset while talking to me about how hard it was to move on, how guilty they felt because they couldn't help but hold onto hope that I might one day mean "I love you" in a romantic way towards them. They even admitted to holding some anger and resentment towards my boyfriend. All of this, looking back, should have been signs to leave the friendship. I know that now. But for some ungodly reason, I was so convinced at the time that there was still something like a friendship to glean from this. They conveyed guilt and remorse for their feelings, so surely that meant things would get better?
I thought that when I graduated and moved back home, things would get easier. After all, we wouldn't be able to see each other all the time if I had a job and lived a good hour or two from where we went to college..Right? We'd be able to focus more on ourselves. And we could still keep in touch via phone calls or texting if we really missed each other! This is when I started to really notice all that was wrong in our friendship. Our venting in regards to mental anguish and stress became more self-loathing. Admittedly, on both sides. We started talking more to each other about our issues in a venting-while-deep-in-our-emotions sort of way with no balance between that and trying to suggest solutions. Sometimes, I'd try because there were certain things Dylan would tell me about that I knew were beyond the help I could give as a friend. But when I even remotely suggested things like therapy, for instance, they would get very defensive. They said that they tried it years ago and had a bad experience. At the same time, they would also acknowledge that professional help could, hypothetically, be beneficial to them..?
I don't remember exactly when it started, but there were a couple of times while texting where Dylan would just lash out at me. They'd question me for staying friends with them. They more or less told me I was stupid because I was putting myself through so much by being their friend. At one point, I lashed out in retaliation for texting me about their woes only to get mad when I tried to help. We had a conversation in person about one argument in partculiar. We both apologized and agreed to work on our communication with each other.
Some time passed after this. I realized at one point that I hadn't heard from them in a few weeks, which was strange because we had a habit of checking in on each other at least once of week or once every other week. I tried messaging Dylan a few times, but I didn't want to overwhelm them. I figured some time further apart might be for the best. As more time passed, I started to get more worried and decided to call them a couple times. Finally, they responded via text (this isn't everything they said. I cut some of it because it involved personal info):
"It’s not fair to keep you in the dark and it’s much too rude to keep doing this to you. I wish I could excuse it with the really shitty weeks I’ve been having so far, with most of my days being depressed, anxious or worse, and the good days being few and far between. It’s been the case but it’s no excuse for how I’ve treated you in this. Long story short, I’m ignoring you because I don’t want you to care about me anymore. I’ve been a lot more solitary recently and I’ve kept to myself a lot - I’ve realized that I let people in only to refuse to let them help me. But especially with you, because our situation is still complicated to me. I still feel like shit about you - how much I love you, and how much I hate you. I don’t care what your feelings are to me - it’s difficult for me to play around you. Whenever we talk, hang out, or fucking whenever I think about you, I get a twang of happiness and self-hatred. Every little thing I say becomes a mine I throw out in front of me and step on immediately, hoping it doesn’t blow up.... and I know you say what you feel towards me, but god fucking damnit you make it impossible to believe you sometimes - because it hurts to think about. You do, it all does. My constant overanalyzing of other people is one of the main things to send me spiraling. I’ve legitimately thought about cutting off from EVERYONE: so I can always stay stable without having to worry about plans that come out of nowhere; I don’t need to worry about what I say to people I care about; and I don’t have to hurt people I care about. Apathy, while it is a wretched thing, is the place where I’m at my best - playing sports, video games, or otherwise…it’s disgusting but it’s the way it is. I’ve never cared about a thing in my life and I don’t want to completely fuck you over when I eventually stop caring about you.
As I’m typing this, I know I’m dropping a lot of shit on you. There’s no quick answer to this but I wanted all my thoughts down in a way where I can spit it all out without getting sidetracked or interrupted. Idgaf if you read this all or not.... I wish I could say I’m sorry.
I know I may have said before that our friendship will last, no matter the circumstances…but I am, and always have been, the problem. That’s not coming out of a place of self-deprecation, that’s the cold, unfortunate truth.
And...I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I've lost a lot of hope and I know I can't look to you for help anymore - because it brings me more misery than joy."
I had to read it a few times before responding. I didn't try to argue for the sake of our friendship. As much as I wanted it to continue, I knew it wouldn't be okay to force them when they were expressing a desire to separate. But in the same conversation, after writing this out to them, Dylan started to back-pedal. They suggested that maybe we should meet in person to discuss it more. Because there's "more that I didn't know about them". I immediately got suspicious and basically told them to fuck off; If they were done, they should just say it.
I was kinda angry at the whole falling-out for a while. Particularly how wishy-washy they seemed at the end after everything we'd gone through. I didn't know how to feel and I still don't now that I've started to miss Dylan. Or maybe the friendship we had before everything went to shit..? I also can't help but feel like I should tell the rest of my friends about it. But I don't know what they would do. Is it worth saying? Would it be too risky for the sake of our whole friend group? It's eating away at me. I feel as though I'm walking on eggshells every time I make plans with the friend group, because what if Dylan is there? What would they say to me, if anything? Is there anything left to say?

Hello reddit. I originally posted this to relationship_advice but it wouldn't let me crosspost.
Me (29F) and my boyfriend, Tom (29M) have been dating for almost 2 years. For context, we are currently long distance because of his job (he lives in LA, I live in Phoenix), but we’re closing the gap in June and he's moving back to PHX due to job opportunities.
Prior to him leaving, and throughout the year we were dating, we would get into fights about the relationship with his female best friend, Ashley (30F). And I’ll explain why:
When we started dating, he told me openly that he has a lot of female friends, and told me that he had a very close relationship with Ashley for about a year. I wasn’t bothered at first with his friendship with Ashley, and in fact, encouraged them to hang out. However, my attitude towards their dynamic changed drastically after spending time with them in group settings. I'll include specific examples below:
—When hanging out with them in group settings, Tom focused ALL his attention on Ashley and made little effort to include me in the group. I would’ve been less upset if his attention flickered between friends but he solely focused on her, which caused me to feel uncomfortable after this happened several times. This happened numerous times before our relationship became distance, and I talked to him several times without an effective resolution.
—He’d share inside jokes with her and didn’t bother to share them with me at all while we were in a group.
—In large party settings, especially with alcohol, his body language would be turned towards her alot. And on several occasions had excessive eye contact during interactions. Sometimes more with her than me. Which led me to feel like I was invisible and didn’t feel like he wanted to share the company of me and his friend equally. He would also sometimes talk over me so that he could talk to Ashley. And didn't apologize for that until I called him out
—The most painful example is when I planned a surprise party for him before he moved to LA. He would talk to me during the party and would stop mid-sentence in order to gravitate towards Ashley alone before our conversation was done.
It didn’t help either that one of my friends warned me that “The way he talks about Ashley is uncomfortable sometimes. Almost could be mistaken for her being HIS girlfriend.” When asked about this, my boyfriend adamantly denies ever having a crush on Ashley, or having a previous sexual relationship with her, and that he “didn’t realize I was doing this.”
Because of all of those examples, and not feeling much better despite talking to him multiple times, I decided that I need to place a boundary to allow a sense of safety in the relationship. I asked him to (1) not sleep over at her place, or her at his (2) not hangout by themselves, but OK in group settings. I made it very clear that these boundaries are NOT permanent, and asked him for these things because what I need is to NOT feel uncomfortable with their dynamic while I'm there. Told him that once I don’t feel uncomfortable with them in a group while I’m around, I will consider removing the boundary.
He agreed to these terms before moving out of PHX. And from there our relationship grew and became stronger.
However, now that he’s moving back to PHX, this topic has come up again. He told me that he feels hurt by the boundary of not hanging out alone (called it a rule) and expressed that this would be difficult to uphold. Keep in mind that he hasn't even moved yet, and he's already asking about this. I reiterated to him that these boundaries are NOT in place for other female friends because their dynamic doesn’t make me uneasy, and told him that the boundary for ASHLEY in particular needs to stay because of previous behavior that he exhibited.
I am feeling extremely hurt because he agreed to those boundaries before leaving, when the boundary was “easier to keep” (his words) since he was in LA. But now that he’s moving back to PHX, he’s already indirectly asking to have it removed, without even trying first, for the sake of my safety in the relationship.
I told him that I’m trying to feel comfortable but need more “exposure therapy” in the form of seeing them interact in a group before I can remove the boundary of hanging out alone. I’m also hurt because I already feel a rift forming between us, and it’s yet another scenario where I feel like his relationship with her is taking priority over ours. And this pattern of feeling secondary to her his is starting to become a big red flag that I can’t ignore.
It didn't help that a couple days ago, I was hanging out in a group setting with Ashley without Tom (we have alot of mutual friends) and she showed me a text between the two of them that broke a boundary (he joked about sleeping over on the dog bed that she has). I knew he was joking, but he blatantly joked about crossing boundary that we talked about (sleeping over at her place) which made me feel hurt/uncomfortable.
In short, I need to trust that his interactions with her won’t be uncomfortable; and until I feel that sense of safety I need the boundary of “not hanging out alone” to stay in place.
Please let me know if I’m being unreasonable, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: Boyfriend’s dynamic with specific female friend (not all female friends) makes me extremely uncomfortable and asked before we started distance to not hang out with her by himself, which he agreed to. Now that he’s moving back to where me/Ashley is, he’s indirectly asking me to have boundary removed which is making me feel hurt.

Hello reddit. I’ve been a longtime lurker but I would really love this subreddit’s input into my situation.
Me (29F) and my boyfriend, Tom (29M) have been dating for almost 2 years. For context, we are currently long distance because of his job (he lives in LA, I live in Phoenix), but we’re closing the gap in June and he's moving back to PHX due to job opportunities.
Prior to him leaving, and throughout the year we were dating, we would get into fights about the relationship with his female best friend, Ashley (30F). And I’ll explain why:
When we started dating, he told me openly that he has a lot of female friends, and told me that he had a very close relationship with Ashley for about a year. I wasn’t bothered at first with his friendship with Ashley, and in fact, encouraged them to hang out. However, my attitude towards their dynamic changed drastically after spending time with them in group settings. I'll include specific examples below:
—When hanging out with them in group settings, Tom focused ALL his attention on Ashley and made little effort to include me in the group. I would’ve been less upset if his attention flickered between friends but he solely focused on her, which caused me to feel uncomfortable after this happened several times. This happened numerous times before our relationship became distance, and I talked to him several times without an effective resolution.
—He’d share inside jokes with her and didn’t bother to share them with me at all while we were in a group.
—In large party settings, especially with alcohol, his body language would be turned towards her alot. And on several occasions had excessive eye contact during interactions. Sometimes more with her than me. Which led me to feel like I was invisible and didn’t feel like he wanted to share the company of me and his friend equally. He would also sometimes talk over me so that he could talk to Ashley. And didn't apologize for that until I called him out
—The most painful example is when I planned a surprise party for him before he moved to LA. He would talk to me during the party and would stop mid-sentence in order to gravitate towards Ashley alone before our conversation was done.
It didn’t help either that one of my friends warned me that “The way he talks about Ashley is uncomfortable sometimes. Almost could be mistaken for her being HIS girlfriend.” When asked about this, my boyfriend adamantly denies ever having a crush on Ashley, or having a previous sexual relationship with her, and that he “didn’t realize I was doing this.”
Because of all of those examples, and not feeling much better despite talking to him multiple times, I decided that I need to place a boundary to allow a sense of safety in the relationship. I asked him to (1) not sleep over at her place, or her at his (2) not hangout by themselves, but OK in group settings. I made it very clear that these boundaries are NOT permanent, and asked him for these things because what I need is to NOT feel uncomfortable with their dynamic while I'm there. Told him that once I don’t feel uncomfortable with them in a group while I’m around, I will consider removing the boundary.
He agreed to these terms before moving out of PHX. And from there our relationship grew and became stronger.
However, now that he’s moving back to PHX, this topic has come up again. He told me that he feels hurt by the boundary of not hanging out alone (called it a rule) and expressed that this would be difficult to uphold. Keep in mind that he hasn't even moved yet, and he's already asking about this. I reiterated to him that these boundaries are NOT in place for other female friends because their dynamic doesn’t make me uneasy, and told him that the boundary for ASHLEY in particular needs to stay because of previous behavior that he exhibited.
I am feeling extremely hurt because he agreed to those boundaries before leaving, when the boundary was “easier to keep” (his words) since he was in LA. But now that he’s moving back to PHX, he’s already indirectly asking to have it removed, without even trying first, for the sake of my safety in the relationship.
I told him that I’m trying to feel comfortable but need more “exposure therapy” in the form of seeing them interact in a group before I can remove the boundary of hanging out alone. I’m also hurt because I already feel a rift forming between us, and it’s yet another scenario where I feel like his relationship with her is taking priority over ours. And this pattern of feeling secondary to her his is starting to become a big red flag that I can’t ignore.
It didn't help that a couple days ago, I was hanging out in a group setting with Ashley without Tom (we have alot of mutual friends) and she showed me a text between the two of them that broke a boundary (he joked about sleeping over on the dog bed that she has). I knew he was joking, but he blatantly joked about crossing boundary that we talked about (sleeping over at her place) which made me feel hurt/uncomfortable.
In short, I need to trust that his interactions with her won’t be uncomfortable; and until I feel that sense of safety I need the boundary of “not hanging out alone” to stay in place.
Please let me know if I’m being unreasonable, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: Boyfriend’s dynamic with specific female friend (not all female friends) makes me extremely uncomfortable and asked before we started distance to not hang out with her by himself, which he agreed to. Now that he’s moving back to where me/Ashley is, he’s indirectly asking me to have boundary removed which is making me feel hurt.

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Super Easy Beautiful Flower Crochet Pattern Tutorial for Beginners: Online Tığ İşi Knitting Guide. https://youtu.be/aYDlq8yOeUA?si=qHs3zJmKCMBjE6k9 *

Super Easy Beautiful Flower Crochet Pattern Tutorial for Beginners: Online Tığ İşi Knitting Guide. https://youtu.be/aYDlq8yOeUA?si=qHs3zJmKCMBjE6k9 *

Super Easy Beautiful Flower Crochet Pattern Tutorial for Beginners: Online Tığ İşi Knitting Guide. https://youtu.be/aYDlq8yOeUA?si=qHs3zJmKCMBjE6k9 *

Super Easy Beautiful Flower Crochet Pattern Tutorial for Beginners: Online Tığ İşi Knitting Guide. https://youtu.be/aYDlq8yOeUA?si=qHs3zJmKCMBjE6k9 *

Super Easy Beautiful Flower Crochet Pattern Tutorial for Beginners: Online Tığ İşi Knitting Guide. https://youtu.be/aYDlq8yOeUA?si=qHs3zJmKCMBjE6k9 *