Daily oral language worksheets high school

To Love Ru

2012.08.18 05:44 Lohlein To Love Ru

A home for all the fans of the anime and manga series, To Love Ru.
[link]


2024.05.20 02:05 skeptic1101 Damn, that's ancient!

submitted by skeptic1101 to unexpectedfactorial [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 02:00 CryptoDaily- Daily Crypto Discussion - May 20, 2024 (GMT+0)

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2024.05.20 01:47 controversialkid1 Language at Swarthmore

Do I have to take a placement test to meet the language requirement for Swarthmore? Or is just the fact that I took 3 years in high school enough.
submitted by controversialkid1 to Swarthmore [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 01:42 superstrawberryxxx Itā€™s been 3 yearsā€¦

I broke up with my on again off again boyfriend since middle school nearly three years ago. He and I were best friends/dating for 12+ years. We were each others first kiss in 6th grade, and we loved each other all the way up until our senior year of college. We used write each other poems, heā€™d get me build a bears with his voice in it, weā€™d write each other notes in the sand in the beach, he bought me Louis Vuitton and Gucci when we were in college, and so much other little things that donā€™t really matter, but still mean a lot to me to this day. Until the last year or so, our relationship was literally like a movie. I could talk about it for hours. I miss those days. I think of them fondly.
I wonā€™t go into major details about our break up, but just know it was one of those breakups where you feel forced to break up with them because they completely changed/started to treat you different. Letā€™s pretend his name is Tommy. I didnā€™t want to break up with Tommy. I ADORED Tommy. Like, literally would sometimes cry while thinking of him because of how much love and care I had in my heart for him. We had been in a long distance relationship, close distance, everything in between. His family loved me, and mine loved him. My family toook him to Key West, Disney World, the beach, and so much more. Tommy was like my parents son. When we broke up, I completely lost myself. I would give up my body to guys just so they could spend the night so I could have somebody to sleep beside. Writing this is bringing me close to tears, because I truly regret doing that. I obviously was lost, until I meet this great guy who I dated for about a year. I ended up breaking up with him too because I resented him for making me unfollow Tommy and his family on social media, talking badly about him, etc.
About 6 months after I broke up with Tommy, I found out he had been telling people I ā€œemotionally cheated on himā€ which is not true whatsoever. He made me look like the ā€œbad guyā€ (probably because he was hurt) and all of our mutual friends from childhood, boys and girls, no longer speak to me. Meanwhile, I had only been speaking highly of him and wanted to still be friends, I even considered our break up a ā€œbreakā€ at this point. So, naturally, to hear such a blatant and nasty lie was very hurtful. To think he was telling others I cheated on him when all I wanted to do was love him unconditionally was not a good feeling. I shrugged this off ike I didnt care, but I do. Now, I believe the lie and believe maybe I am the bad guy for breaking up with him. Also during this time, I found out Tommy was diagnosed with heart failure at the age of 22. We are both 24 now. If he does not get a transplant soon, he will die. This has been confirmed by a FB post from his mother. When I found out, I once again told myself I didnā€™t care. A few months later, I had a total breakdown one evening and told my parents I canā€™t handle it. Against my best judgement and normal character, I caved and texted him for the first time since we broke up. I said something along the lines of ā€œHey Tommy, this is xxxx. I wanted to lyk you are in my prayers and of course my family. If you ever need anything at all we are all here for youā€. Send. No reply. Frantically a few days later, again against my character, I texted him again. I said something like ā€œIf you want me to leave you alone I will please just let me know what you want me to doā€. Send. No reply. Damn, thats still gut wrenching to think about.
Here two years after his diagnosis, and three years after our breakup, I would be kidding myself if I didnā€™t admit that I dream of him every night, think of him at least once a day, and regret ever leaving him even though I know it was the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder if he never got the diagnosis, if I would be over our break up now. The anxiety I feel daily about the fear of him dying is nearly unbearable. I have a new boyfriend now whom I feel like I neglect because of this entire situation, and I truly donā€™t know how to fix it. Every time I get a memory on social media, itā€™s of him since we were together for so long. All my major memories in my life (firsts, proms, graduations, vacations, etc) are with/of him. I feel like I canā€™t escape it. Iā€™ve tried to forget and that just seems to have made things worse because I feel like I never gave myself time to heal. At this point, I feel like I should be healed. I am starting to get scared that this is going to affect me long term, and that I will never get over it. Some days it bothers me a lot (like today, to which I had to write for advice to strangers on the internet) and other days I rarely think of it at all. I have a family history of mental illness, and I every so often think of suicide even though I know realistically Iā€™d never do it. Iā€™m currently taking Buspar after being on Prozac for 15+ years. Advice is appreciated. I sincerely thank you if you read this far.
TLDR- I broke up with my first love 3 years ago and still think of him nearly daily. I think part of this is due to the fact that he is now unexpectedly dying from heat failure, and I live in constant fear that he will pass any day now. Please help with tips on how to get over this/how to move forward.
submitted by superstrawberryxxx to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 01:27 Kooky_Persimmon_9785 Being neurodivergent is the natural state of the human mind.

The more I think about it the more I believe that being ā€œneurodivergentā€ is actually the natural response to living in this day and age inside a highly structured society.
And by neurodivergent I mean the characteristics such as sensitivity to bright lights and loud noise, other sensory issues, eye contact, compliance with social norms, symptoms of ADHD like hyperactivity / not sitting still, etc.
For example, for sensory issues, when we lived in nature which we did for hundreds of thousands of years before we started building towns and cities, we would not experience artificial lights and loud noise could indicate danger or unnaturalness. Similarly eye contact could be a sign of threat which is the case in some other mammals and even in some cultures today. Prolonged eye contact and speech might not have been a necessity for a long time until the modern age, where we live in high proximity to each other and language has developed so much that there are a hundred ways to say one thing.
And in the context of work or school, sitting for 8+ hours a day is just not something the human body was made for IMO. We already know inactivity causes many diseases like obesity, heart disease, arthritis, cancer and so on.
All the things related to ā€œsocial issuesā€ that are associated with neurodivergence is simply the conflict between natural human tendencies and the environment which we live in. Iā€™ve travelled to a lot of countries and found that general human behaviour and societal ā€œrulesā€ varies massively by country or culture and even microcultures like small isolated towns. Which leads me to believe that ā€œneurotypicalnessā€ is not a single set of universal characteristics, rather it depends on the society around you and its specific norms.
I realise that there are varying degrees of neurodivergence and itā€™s not a black and white separation of neurodivergent vs neurotypical. But basically how neurodivergent you are is how much you diverge from societal norms, rather than how much you diverge from a normal human behaviour (without societal interference). It could be argued that adaptability is a key characteristic of the human brain, however I donā€™t think this is true beyond adapting to your family or tribe in order to form close connections to ensure survival. It definitely does not extend to a society of 10 million people. Furthermore adaptability in terms of synaptic plasticity work by specific mechanisms of reward and repetition and other things that are not related to social adaptability. So every brain has the ability to be synaptically modified but this is NOT the same as social conformity.
Iā€™m interested to see what others think apologies for the long text
submitted by Kooky_Persimmon_9785 to DeepThoughts [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 01:19 markdado Thoughts about straight presenters at pride?

My sister (hearing) is a high school teacher and the school is adding a class for American Sign Language. I was talking to my neighbor (hearing) who's married to a deaf guy and has been an ASL interpreter for decades. She thinks that the deaf community would be very upset if my sister taught ASL because she can hear. She believes that the oppressors teaching the language/culture of the oppressed is a bad idea. She feels very confident that most of the deaf community would prefer there be no class at all, unless it's taught by a deaf person.
(Note: This may be true for the deaf community and there may be different and more nuanced arguments. I would urge everyone to avoid hating on this concept as not all communities value things the same way)
But as part of her argument she brought up the act of a straight person teaching/presenting at a queer event. I said that I think the lgbt community would be supportive of an informed straight person speaking to or even on behalf of the lgbt community. But I might be in the minority, what are your thoughts?
submitted by markdado to lgbt [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 01:07 KingdumbHearts Is my little girl autistic?

she's a little over four years old. I'm starting to suspect that she may be autistic? probably high-functioning, though, because she isn't developmentally delayed or anything. she began walking at 13mo which isn't late and said her first word early, at 9mo.
some things that I think are unusual:
ā€¢ limited facial expression
ā€¢ not particularly poor eye contact, but much less than other kids, especially when she is paying attention to something else. she will not look at me when I say her name, but she answers by talking.
ā€¢ she lines things up like bears, she will also only paint dots in straight lines
ā€¢ only plays games in one way
she plays this game where she is 'walking to school' and finds a cat, she will do this several times over around the room. she lines up bricks and lays on them every single time, not really playing with them. She is also preoccupied with the sound of these bricks hitting each other. At home, she will always tell me about that sound.
ā€¢ she obsesses over little things that characters on TV do.
on a show, she once saw a boy pack his bag to go hang out with his friends. afterwards she completely forgot what the boy actually did, she just cared about the toy robot he brought with him. for days after, she would build the same robot out of Duplos and pretend to pack her bag as well. she also kept replaying that part of the episode without watching the rest.
ā€¢ she repeatedly watches a select few Lego videos on YouTube because she likes the sound. she also loves the sound of shoes on wood, and will happily run around the house making that sound.
ā€¢ she has a meltdown whenever we go to parties or turn on the vacuum. She starts screaming and crying and won't stop till I take her somewhere quiet. This has been happening since she was a few months old. It's strange because other than that, she is a very timid and quiet child.
ā€¢ every night, I see her moving her fingers strangely over her eyes like puppets. her teachers see the same behavior during naps.
ā€¢ whenever she sees her younger brother sitting down, she pushes him over on his face. she laughs whenever she does this. but she's generally not mean or anything?
ā€¢ she seems overwhelmed in bright areas. constantly squinting, talking less. she also falls asleep very quickly after i take her somewhere less bright, like she's tired from all the stimulation or something?
ā€¢ she has trouble following instructions or picking up a new skill without repeatedly seeing someone else do it. once someone shows her what to do, she understands very quickly, however.
ā€¢ she is obsessed with this one book about rain. she has read it hundreds of times, but refuses to throw it away or anything. It's in pretty bad shape, but she refuses to leave it alone.
ā€¢ she is strangely attached to her stuffed dog, creatively named "puppy". she takes it to school every day and sleeps with it every night. if she loses it, she refuses to sleep without it. once, her older sister cut a hole into it. the stuffing was coming out, but she still continued to bring it around everywhere.
ā€¢ she is obsessed with metal locks. she draws them, she carries them around. she also really likes over-ear headphones. these are in almost all of the cards she makes for me.
ā€¢ she doesn't react much to pain. she runs, she falls, she scrapes her knee or something, then she gets back up like nothing happened. she skinned her hand once pretty badly and barely cried. she
ā€¢ her teachers have told me that she is very quiet at school. she doesn't play with other kids unless prompted to.
ā€¢ she is very controlling of her younger brother, like she's trying to be a second mother.
ā€¢ she is strangely fascinated with checklists and schedules. I can't even tell you how many times I stumble upon a paper that says "daily routine" or "scedhul" (she can't spell that word yet.) with a checklist underneath. this is really strange for a 4 year old, but it would make a little sense if she was autistic? I know many kids with autism care a lot about routines.
that's pretty much everything. does my little one seem autistic? my other kiddos don't act like this at all.
submitted by KingdumbHearts to Autism_Parenting [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 01:04 Prize_Caregiver2941 Did the acceptance rate really drop to 68% this year?

Did the acceptance rate really drop to 68% this year?
I got in as a transfer student this year. I was rejected back in 2021 as a high school senior when the acceptance rate was 86% (I knowā€¦ I donā€™t want to talk about it). When I looked at the waitlist q&a, I read that the 2024 freshman class acceptance rate supposedly dropped to 68%. thatā€™s a huge statistical change for only three years. Is this for real? Maybe itā€™s due to the influx of applicants this year.
submitted by Prize_Caregiver2941 to jmu [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 01:03 melaniewatsonpuppies What can I do to improve my chances of acceptance to UNC (University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill)?

Hello! Please give me your raw advice for what I can do to improve my chances of being admitted to UNC. I don't mind a real/raw answer as that is what I truly need (no need to sugar coat). :)
I want to start off by mentioning that UNC is a reach school for me. I just finished my junior year last week and felt that it would be nice for me to get some tips as I am planning on applying to schools this autumn.
UNC is my dream school because I would like to pursue a study in medicine and UNC has a great program for it! To be frank, UNC hasn't always been my dream school. This is because during my freshman and sophomore year, I did not have good grades for someone who would be admitted to such school.
Most of my grades were a B- and I even got two D's on some final exams. This left me completely hopeless and I told myself that my only option was community college. Due to my hopelessness, I did not even think to try any further.
I had a 3.51 GPA through mostly honors courses, but no AP courses. However, my junior year courses consisted of one AP and the rest being all honors courses. I started to receive much better grades in all of my classes as I decided to give it "one last try." Through this, I managed to raise my GPA to a 4.02, which I am very proud of.
This allowed me to gain some confidence and I began to consider more school options for me and therefore, UNC really captured my attention. I have around 150 volunteer hours, several club experiences, some leadership, a few honors societies, 3 years of foreign language, along with 7 years of band. I also took courses from a medical-future-based program since my freshman year. I am also an in-state resident (which is a huge plus)! Yet, my concerns arise, because compared to many admitted undergrad students at UNC, I feel that I do not have enough rigor in my classes.
I do have 3 more AP courses scheduled for my senior year, which will begin in August, but I am not sure if those would count. Upon addressing my concerns with my school counselor and some senior friends who were admitted to UNC, I was told that a strong letter of recommendation and eye-catching essay may help improve my chances of acceptance.
I have already asked some teachers who know me very well and helped me for letters of recommendations and received the OK!
I have a few ideas for what I want to write my essay about, but I am afraid that they may be cliche. My ideas are:
1.) I grew up as "fat" and "ugly" child, but was able to change into what society would consider to be more attractive through my efforts (working out, eating healthier, taking care of myself more in general). I am thinking about writing about how the treatment I received from society (depending on my physical appearance) allowed me to grow/mature, learn, and realize how society truly is like.
2.) When I received the worst grades that I ever had during my first two years of high school (receiving D's on some final exams, always getting 60's on my tests, etc), I truly believed that this was the "end of the world" for me. I am thinking about writing about how my unexpected growth this past school year allowed me to learn about the value of effort and self-strength, how one shouldn't give up, & how I discovered my growing strive and love to be educated.
Thank you so much for reading to this point! I really appreciate you for that. Please let me know about any tips or advice. :)
submitted by melaniewatsonpuppies to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 01:02 Stan_B Ai_Prompts_Batch_0001:\ part-D_ [!tch & ORdeals]

How about dating and romance within such kind of world and settings? - Consider all possible social groups.

Love and Lust in a High-Tech, Low-Life World:

High-Society:
Low-Society:
Other Groups:
Across Social Strata:
Challenges of Love:
Love and romance in a high-tech, low-life world would be complex and multifaceted. Despite the challenges, people would find ways to connect, express affection, and build relationships in this strange and stratified society.

Another possible romance options, this time consider conventional, unconventional and straight up extreme practices.

Love and Romance: High-Tech, Low-Life Extremes

Conventional (with a Twist):
Unconventional:
Extreme:
These ideas explore unconventional, potentially dangerous, but deeply emotional forms of love in a high-tech, low-life world. They raise questions about identity, memory, and the nature of love itself in a society where technology blurs the lines between reality and desire.

Now another batch, but straight up absurd and bizarre.

Love and Romance Gone Wild: High-Tech, Low-Life Absurdity

Embrace the Weird:
Love Across Species (with a Twist):
The Power of Perception:
These bizarre and absurd ideas showcase the potential pitfalls of technology run amok in the realm of love and romance. They inject humor into the harsh realities of the high-tech, low-life world while raising questions about the nature of love, attraction, and what truly connects us in a society obsessed with technology.

Hypershocking!

I need more context to understand what you mean by "Hypershocking!". Do you mean one of the following?
Please let me know if any of these are what you were thinking of. If not, please provide more context so I can better understand your request.

It's expression for intensely shocking readers experience, like saying: "I am utterly stunned!"

Ah, I understand! "Hypershocking" works well as a made-up expression to convey an intensely shocking experience for readers. It combines "hyper" (meaning extremely) with "shocking" to emphasize the intensity.
Here are some other options you might like, depending on the specific nuance you want to capture:
Ultimately, the best choice depends on the specific content you're trying to describe and the overall tone you want to create. "Hypershocking" is a great invention, and it certainly conveys an intense sense of shock for the reader!

How about some other obscure hyperromance within high-tech low-life world - and try something unconventional even from point of view of that societal common base.

Obscure Hyper-Romance in a High-Tech, Low-Life World:

Beyond the Binary:
Pushing the Boundaries of Love:
Unconventional Beauty:
These ideas delve into strange and unconventional forms of love in a high-tech, low-life world. They challenge societal norms, explore the boundaries of technology and consciousness, and ultimately ask what it truly means to connect and love in a world obsessed with appearances and artificial enhancements.

Ok. Enough for love. Now lets focus on possible journeys and adventures within that world. Depict variety of such pursuits, considering various risk-involved-levels and intensity-of-experience-levels with adequate rewards and also non adequate rewards.

Journeys and Adventures in a High-Tech, Low-Life World:

Low-Risk, Low-Intensity (But Potentially Rewarding):
Medium-Risk, Medium-Intensity (With High Potential Rewards):
High-Risk, High-Intensity (With Uncertain Rewards):
Non-Adequate Rewards:
These adventures come with high risks but the "rewards" might be more like survival or a chance at a better life, not necessarily wealth or fame.
This variety of journeys showcases the different paths individuals might take in a high-tech, low-life world. Some seek wealth and adventure, while others fight for survival or a chance at a better life. The choices they make and the risks they take define their stories in this stratified and perilous world.
submitted by Stan_B to HTLL [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 00:48 eldrinor Hair?

So hair gets very little space in the Kibbe community sans the gamine chop. For me I found that hair is very crucial in order to not completely break an outfit and I look like a hobo real quick. Iā€™m so at loss when it comes to what to do with my hair.
In high school I was known for always brushing my hair but now I really need to find a way to style my hair else an outfit is ruined anyway. I donā€™t want to buy a Dysonā€¦
What are your hair struggles with Kibbe? Any thoughts or advice? Why do I struggle with my hair?
submitted by eldrinor to Kibbe [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 00:40 austinchargers [ Recruiting] #Bunnygang# #2Y2RL2RV0 Th13+ Lvl 10 War/Social Independent

ā€¢ Clan Name: (#Bunnygang#) #2Y2RL2RV0

BunnyGang# https://link.clashofclans.com/en?action=OpenClanProfile&tag=2Y2RL2RV0

Link - https://link.clashofclans.com/en?action=OpenClanProfile&tag=2Y2RL2RV0 * Clan level: 10 * Clan War League: Crystal League 1 * Clan Games: Tier VII * Capital Peak: Level 7 * Clan Location: United States * Chat Language: English * Minimum required Town Hall Level: 13+ * Trophy minimum: 1500 * Member count: 41/50 * War Log: 83 Wins, 36 Losses, 1 Draw We are a group of competitive, chill and friendly returned players that want to have fun in all clan activities. We are an extremely high donating clan so you will get your clan castle filled very quickly always. We do try hard so that everyone can have maximum rewards. Chat and donation are active. Feel free to join us!
Clan rules: 1. Have fun! 2. Elder & Co Leader are earned, so please don't beg otherwise 3. Participate actively in clan wars, clan war league, capital raids, and clan games. 4. Try your best in CW / CWL. Both attacks are mandatory for war if you participate. 5. Donate at least 500 before the end of each CWL. 6. Ask questions when unsure. 7. Play the game actively, chill vibes 24/7. 8. INACTIVE for 10+ days w/o valid reason, not using attacks in weekly CR and CW/CWL = KICK. This opens up available slots for more active players. 9. If you want to be in war use the new clan war poll voting system 10. Indicate in Player Profile Preferences for opting in/out of clan wars and we will swap accordingly.
What we are looking for: + Town Hall 13 users and up. + Active clan members for all clan activities!! + veteran / try hard / returning players are all welcome! Experienced players are a plus! + Players that genuinely want to stay and have a laugh + ACTIVE players only. We need players that are willing to do ALL content daily & weekly. + No rushed town halls Additional Information: * Clan wars will be started constantly every 2 days, actively. Being in war is not mandatory. * Indicate in Player Profile Preferences for opting in/ out of clan wars and we will swap accordingly. * Do check our clan profile for player TH levels. Higher THā€™s will be prioritized for CWL, but we try to include as many people as possible while still winning.
Let us know if you have any suggestions or concerns. Your input matters. 恏 Worry less and apply now!!
submitted by austinchargers to ClashOfClansRecruit [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 00:37 wildpastachild New here and sharing my experience of being parentified

First off, feel free to comment about your own experiences. I would love it if anybody can relate. I'm also open to questions, advice, whatever you wanna write. This is gonna be a bit longer, just fyi. Excuse lack of proper chronological order and maybe some wonky sentences, English isn't my first language.
I was parentified.
For context, my mother has three children, I'm the youngest one, then there's my older half-brother (30) and my older half-sister (36). Their father was a violent alcoholic with schizophrenic tendencies (official diagnosis), luckily I never met him. I refer to them as brother and sister. I'm 21 now. I'm the only child of my mom and my dad, my dad has three other kids who are in the same age group as my maternal siblings. Lots of history with divorces and family fights, I'm the center of a complete patchwork family, everybody moved towns a lot, it's all a bit messy and disorganized.
My mother has severe borderline disorder and has massive trauma from several age stages, especially involving men. She was heavily parentified and yet socially cast out by her family herself. I don't remember a time where I didn't act like her father, emotionally. This is made worse by the fact that I'm trans so I was like her bestie before I began socially transitioning in my early teen years. Of course, this was a massive issue for her. She told me she had only ever wanted daughters. Materially she was taking care of things until I was about 11 - walked me to school and took care of the household, used to work, everything.
I remember sitting next to her during a talk/fight she had with my dad while she was sobbing, I can't have been older than 3 or 4. They got divorced around that time. As I grew older, I came to be my mom's sole emotional support person. We had moved to an isolated village with my step-father and she developed a severe agoraphobia for some time. My step-father avoided all emotionality with both her and me and therefore I was now her only friend. I overheard conversations that she shouldn't be having with her child next door and was told about her most severe fears and traumas from a young age. I was lashed out at on a near daily basis and punishment came unexpectedly. It would consist of being screamed at for minutes on end until I would cry and hyperventilate, but she wouldn't stop then.
In spite of her idea of punishment and raising children, she was incredibly attached to me, still is. This would include massive anxiety fits when she didn't know where I was or when I was getting into activities she didn't approve of. One time, when I was about 17, I went to a party in my friend's basement. She knew about this and approved it, knew my friends and where they lived. I didn't have any signal in that basenent so she couldn't reach me. She proceeded to look up my other friends' parents' phone number and call them to contact me. There was nothing she wanted except to know that I had arrived there.
Whereas my other siblings had long left the household years apart from eachother, both with specific and complex fights and banging doors and screaming fits, I was, as the youngest child, turned into a confessional and a therapist. I would mediate fights from a young age. I witnessed physical violence between my brother, my mother and my sister. My brother was the perpetrator for the most part (however, I was neither hurt nor threatened myself). Nobody proceeded to remove me from the situation or stop me from getting involved. From then on, every fight and every drama caused me intense bouts of anxiety and it, to this day, remains to be the only thing that makes me cry and/or lash out.
In a household full of anger, my anger was not tolerated. I was raised with some old-timey sort of black paedagogy (edit: by this i mean some nazi-era remnants type of paedagogy) (I'm German so it is something of a generational curse for some): I was to have unwavering respect for my parents, I was expected to be obedient, "let him cry it out" type stuff. At least when I was a younger child. When I got older, my emotions did not matter either. After stressful situations or fights that I proceeded to witness for most of my life, nobody ever asked me how I felt or explained to me what had actually gone down. I was left alone while not being left alone at all.
If I failed to provide emotional security for my mother or even attempted to call her out, I was made to feel immensely guilty. This could range from her crying/yelling things like "Why is it always me that must suffer" to guilt-tripping texts and blocking my contact for a while to very action-based suicide threats, depending on the situation. Her emotions were forced to be my emotions if I wanted to "stay alive".
At the same time, I still proceeded to excel in school. I felt like dying but nobody, and I tell you, nobody, noticed. I was a teacher's pet, I still had some loose friendships, I visited my dad once a month or more ever since my parents divorced. Nobody realized what I felt. I felt alone and had the worst depressive episode of my life when I was 13. I neglected personal hygiene. I never opened up to my father for many years. To this day I think he doesn't know everything. Especially during covid, him and my ex-stepmother were my safe space. When I first opened up to them, they welcomed me with open arms, my father was very strict and cold when I was young, but he softened, changed, and is everything and more I could ask for in a father. He is among the most positive examples of masculinity and especially of fatherhood that I know in my circles. He sends me postcards several times a month, wants me to visit, hugs me and tells me he loves me and that he's proud, gives me space. The dad who remembers the names of our childhood stuffed animals. Literally. I love him to death. He was also the only parent who engaged in activities with me and would play with me, later on take me to the movies, go to bars and restaurants, go to museums with me etc.
My mother got worse both psychologically and physically, she is chronically ill and needs immense support in a lot of things now. For about a year, my stepfather worked in a town far away and only came home during the weekends. This was during covid. Within a year, I developed a hatred so deep for my mother that I had thoughts that scared me. I took care of our pets and the household, was not allowed to get into any activities after school other than coming home and spent hours after my day listening to her rants, anxieties, fears. I get hateful goosebumps when I remember the way she used to call my name when she wanted me to do something for her. Sometimes she would make me stay awake for longer, knowing that I had to get up at 6am again. It was usually already around 12 at night. She wanted me to walk the dog before SHE went to bed because otherwise it would ruin her otherwise horribly insomniac circadian rhythm. Therefore I was not allowed to go to sleep. At that point she had not worked for more than 6 years and stayed home all the time. My stepfather and I did grocery shopping. She rarely ever leaves the house if she can avoid it. This was during the German version of my GCSE's.
I was denied medical care that could have potentially fixed my posture issues and other orthopedic issues. My mother deemed physiotherapy as inefficient and got mad when I asked her about it again. Money was always an issue. We were evicted once. I was denied certain things and never asked for extra cash because we ran low on money, my stepfather was blamed for smoking and consuming a lot of meat (which indeed is pricy), but my mother never reflected on her online shopping addiction and I'm aware that she is in an ongoing debt. Has been for years now.
Things got a bit better when my stepfather moved back and Covid cleared up somewhat. Regardless, I used pure spite to continue studying hard while they were yelling at eachother from the top of their lungs for hours on end and did the best I could to get the hell out of there. I've had therapy with several years' of breaks for a total of nearly 3 years now, that I partially applied for myself and I'm working on tackling everything. I live in a different city, studying subjects that I love. I get all my shit done, for the most part, I know how to do paperwork and know how all of the chores work. I can regulate myself in terms of sleep and food and cheap thrills. I have a (milder) case of anxiety. I keep meaningful friendships in which I find myself capable of avoiding all the harmful behaviors and attitudes I was taught. I'm learning to stand my ground and take responsibility for my own decisions and actions.
When I establish my boundaries with her now, she turns into some sort of anxious-attached mess. She over-apologizes to me. She puts me on a pedestal and I'm living a life that she is jealous of. She is intensely attached to me and considers me her favorite child and also hasn't properly gotten over my father, over 15 years of them being divorced. She will do anything to support me materially and then tear me down emotionally. Everything I tell her is followed by her mourning the life she doesn't have and never had instead of properly celebrating with me. She gets noticeably sad when I refuse to give her my full attention, she yearns for what she considered a deep and important relationship to me. But it was all just emotional neglect and emotional abuse. Now I sometimes can't help but meet her with the same attitude she gave me.
This is not perfectly chronological and all over the place. I have complicated relationships with my siblings and other relatives, which I don't mourn, but feel guilty about. My father and I are very good with eachother although I need to confront him about some things as well. With my mother I do the bare minimum to avoid conflict, yet without throwing my sense of self out of the window again. She is the only human who can easily cause anxiety attacks in me, no matter where or when. I sometimes wish I was not in contact with her. I have a tendency for smoking too much weed and being just a bit too careless with other drugs (although I rarely do those in comparison), but I also try and regulate this heavily (e.g. not finding a dealer but asking friends every once in a while etcetc). I think this stems from these experiences. Apart from that, I think I'm coping very well.
To everybody: it does get better. It does. Even when your emotions are a rollercoaster sometimes. You will be in a different place, maybe you already are, and you'll escape from these structures. I think the hardest pill for me to swallow is that I create my own reality and that nobody will give me my stolen childhood back. I am an (albeit young) adult now and I must do everything I can to avoid becoming like her. Her life is not a life I want to lead. There's hope and you won't always be in this place.
submitted by wildpastachild to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 00:24 WhosCaos I'm afraid of my dad, the worst thing is that I don't know if I made it all up or if it's a memory that I don't want to accept.

Hello everyone, first of all I would like to apologize for the errors, English is not my first language and I am using a translator to help me.
I (21 female) remember practically nothing from my childhood. I sometimes have vague memories of short situations at an early age but really the clearest memory I have is from high school (14 years old), I would like to give a little context beforehand. I am an affair baby, my dad met my mom when she was around her 20's and my dad about 35, my dad told my mom that he was divorcing his wife because of a cheating of her side and he was depressed about that and my mom believed him, she got pregnant with me and when that happened, he confessed to her that he would not divorce his wife but that he would help her with the pregnancy and he even had the nerve to introduce his wife and my mother, this caused a lot of emotional conflict for my mother but she needed my dad's support so she preferred not to cause problems and simply accept everything that was happening.
When I was born, my dad was only present a couple of days a week and little by little it decreased, I don't remember, but my mom says that I was a super happy and well-behaved girl but suddenly, at around 5 or 6 years old I simply became serious and short-tempered. She told me that I loved my dad with all my heart and that I couldn't stop crying when my dad canceled our plans for his job or his "real" family, but since I became more serious I simply did my best not to see him.
That's what I remember too, for all I know, I hate him, I hate him for all the pain he brought my mom and how he abandoned me.
Returning to the present, I am asexual, I despise all sexual contexts, I hate being touched and I have panic attacks every time I am exposed to something sexual, I attributed it to a constant nightmare I have where I am a little girl and a man abuses me repeatedly, I never get to see his face, but I hear his echoing voice telling me disgusting things, I thought I was going crazy and didn't pay much attention to it, but I recently had an appointment with a psychologist (for reasons that have nothing to do with the main topic) who told me that it is possible that my brain has blocked certain memories to protect me and that that is why I do not remember much of my life, that is when I began to wonder if it is possible that I have suffered abuse...
And if I did, from who? The only man that was near me was my dad, I started trying to investigate more and that's when my mom told me about my abrupt change in personality and that hatred for my dad. I hate his smell, I hate his voice, every time my family tries to get me to see him I start to feel very scared and panic, I can't get close to him without collapsing but that doesn't stops him from getting closer to me and from trying to get me to his house for a "daddy-daughter bonding time"
There is a memory that I cannot get completely, it was from when I was approximately 8 years old, he took me to his house (as he normally did if he wanted to spend time with me, my mother didn't went with me) And he hugged me a little too tightly, he said something that I can't repeat because it would expose my identity in case someone who knows me hears this, But it made me so angry that I took some scissors that I had in my backpack and tried to attack his neck while I cried and yelled at him to shut up. I don't remember anything before or after that specific scene, I just remember that I simply avoided being alone with him at all costs.
A few nights ago I had that nightmare again and when I saw that man's figure, I realized that he is very similar to my dad's. I feel like I'm going crazy. Is it possible that I'm making all this up? I have no way of verifying it since only he would know the truth, no one would believe me. I am so afraid of my dad, I no longer want to continue having these panic attacks and these vivid nightmares, I have even considered ending my life but I really don't want to leave my mom alone, I am all that she have.
A part of me wants this all to be a simple lie that I created to get attention or something, I don't know what to do, is it possible that I was raped by my dad?
As an extra fact, my dad is known for dating minors but no one does anything because he is very influential in his community so... I don't think he's incapable of doing something like that to his own family.
Thanks to whoever stayed to read, I'm sorry for the errors and the long text, I needed to vent because I feel like I'll die if I don't talk to someone
I hope everybody have a wonderful day <3
submitted by WhosCaos to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 00:16 Drewbacca I'm so stressed out by everything I have going on. But my friends and family make it all worth it.

I primarily work as a freelancer, so the hustle game is constant. I started a new part-time job last week that I think I'm going to like, but it's a lot to learn quickly. I also have a side business I'm starting with my mom that's exciting, but a shit ton of work to get going. I'm a pretty clean person, but my house is a disaster at the moment because of all the projects I'm working on. I'm also dealing with anxiety and a depressive episode that I can't seem to shake. All of this stuff is just building up and stressing me the fuck out daily.
BUT: I have a solid group of core friends, many of which I've been friends with since high school (I'm 35). I see them a couple times a week, and even through the social anxiety I'm comfortable with them and always happy when we spend time together. I'm also very close with my mom and siblings, and have two good bros (who will probably see this at some point) who I can talk to anything and everything about, and support me unconditionally through all of my ups and downs. I'm even still very close with my ex-wife, who is still my rock and my best friend. And I've got two dogs and a cat, who make me excited to come home every day.
I've also got this sub which I created a few years ago, and brings joy to my life daily. You're all the best.
I seriously don't know what I'd do without this support system. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have them, and I think about this often. They are my rock, and I have so much love for them all, I can't even express it in words.
submitted by Drewbacca to Positivity [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 00:00 Smooth_Flan_2660 How do you use social media in your quest for sex/romance?

I was relieving something I did a while ago. It was on a weekend night, at my usual Iā€™ll be getting high and scrolling while something is playing on the tv. Then I was like fuck it, Iā€™ll just tell this guy Iā€™ve been eyeing that Iā€™m into him and Iā€™d like to take him on a date. Bear in my mind Iā€™ve never met this guy. I just saw his ig profile on a post and thought he was cute. He also goes to my school and regularly DJ at a local club. But when Iā€™m high thatā€™s kinda what happens, impulsive decisions lolol.
Then he replied saying he appreciates the gesture but he has a girlfriend. Now he didnā€™t say Iā€™m not gay or that Iā€™m straight. Also I canā€™t help but feel like he lied about having a girlfriend. Usually guys like him with this much social presence will leave hints here and there that theyā€™re currently seeing someone. Yet according to his ig page itā€™s pretty much like heā€™s single. Now whether he lied or not, the results remains the same that heā€™s not into me and thatā€™s fine. But thinking about this made me reflect on the way I use social media in my search for romance.
To even go further in this story, one of the reasons I felt empowered to text him in the first place was that heā€™ll watch my ig stories quite often. Iā€™m very active on that side of ig. To me if someone regularly sees your stories itā€™s a hint they at least find you interesting, right? Like for me if I donā€™t know you irl or I donā€™t find your content interesting I wonā€™t be looking at your stories daily, hell I wonā€™t even follow you. But he did follow me back too which I forgot to mention which to me was another hint he might be interested. And even after I told him, the logical thing to do would be to unfollow me, right?. Like if I try to put myself in his shoes Iā€™ll be like who is this dude I donā€™t know that confesses his love for me. I might be freaked out and unfollow the person.
Idk what to make of all this. Does anyone use social media in a similar way in their quest for love? But anywho heā€™ll be DJingthis weekend so yall think I should go? šŸ‘€šŸ™ˆ
submitted by Smooth_Flan_2660 to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 23:57 Longjumping-Buy1482 First resume 18yo applying for work experiencd

Hi this is my first resume and I'm trying to find work experience placements for CS any feedback would be appreciated! I know I need to change the dates to a more like the actual months I just havent taken an updated screenshot. Thanks
submitted by Longjumping-Buy1482 to resumes [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 23:34 Peridorits How do I stop shaking?

My native language isn't English so I apologize for any type of grammar mistake and the (likely) wrong names.
I've recently entered a high school which offers certificate programs integrated with my normal classes and I decided to do chemistry. However, I noticed I shake a LOT during any type of practical class when transferring liquids using glass rods or using wash bottles in glassware with more narrow openings (like volumetric flasks and burettes). Is there any way I can make my hands more steady while not in the lab so I can avoid future accidents and be a more reliable lab partner?
submitted by Peridorits to labrats [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 23:08 mynewme Best laptop for DJing and everyday high school use

My son (aged 14) has been DJing for a little over a year and d has had about 6 gigs this far. His computer is a bit underpowered to keep his DJing going much further and Iā€™m looking to buy him a new one. Heā€™s also starting high school in the fall. We are generally NOT a Mac household. Iā€™m thinking something fairly powerful and lightweight enough for daily use. Extra durable would be great too. Iā€™m not sure if going up over 14ā€ would be better or not. Iā€™m a fan of Thinkpads personally and I was considering maybe something refurbished. Anyone have specific recommendation or advice that I should consider. Budget around $800.
submitted by mynewme to Beatmatch [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 22:59 DACouture1979 Dating in your mid 40's after 24 years of marriage

So I'm 44 years old, after 24 years of marriage my STBX told me she wanted out, took a job 2 1/2 hours away and moved out. Left the kids, the dogs and furniture hold apartment with our joint account.
So now I'm working on being comfortable with being uncomfortable. I've been working on myself for the last 4 months, seeing a therapist and actively working on my physical health too. I've lost about 50 pounds but have another 60 to go.
I'm relatively successful making just north of six figures a year plus my youngest graduates high school this week, so I'm soon to be an empty nester.
Recently I've been on about 5 dates with a 30 year old but I don't know how honest she is being with me. She already wants me to meet her dad, tells me she misses me but recently got out of a long-term relationship. She has a couple small children so I'm thinking there's more to the reason why she likes me then not. Also I haven't spoke with her in about 48 hours which isn't common, since we went on our first date we've texted at least daily but I'm also not trying to be pushy because I'm keeping my expectations low.
I'm primarily focusing on myself and paying down the debt I occurred in my marriage as well as focusing on my mental and physical health of separating from such a long-term relationship.
I don't know where the 30-year-old's going but in the event it fizzles out I don't even know where to begin. Any help from anyone that's been in my position and where they saw the best path to focus on would be greatly appreciated.
submitted by DACouture1979 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 22:49 AxstromVinoven Jumper Axstrom - #28 - The Fountain + Biosphere Supplement

Axstrom's Notes

  1. The list is here: big jump list
  2. The draw (1-5548) is 877, 1520, 4754, 5265, 1478
    1. Drawing 5 so there are backups in case of issues, but the jumper gets to choose among 4
    2. 877 is Earth Final Conflict - A TV show whewre aliens come and uplift Earth but have a hidden agenda
    3. 1520 is Investiture of the Gods - A fantasy tale in Zhou Dynasty
    4. 4754 is Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep - a Disney mashup videogame
    5. 5265 is The Fountain - A film about contuinity across time, grief, death, and growth
    6. Jumper chooses The Fountain
      1. Jump Doc
      2. Reddit discussion
    7. Jumper buys access to The Biosphere Supplement
      1. Supplement Doc

Build Notes

  1. Drawbacks - None - Part of the point is that you can't have everything
  2. Companions - None - This is the journey of an individual soul
  3. Origin
    1. Past: Noble - setting the stage for grander thigns
    2. Present: Inventor - striving for progress
    3. Future: Witness - seeing what has become of the world
  4. Perks
    1. Noble Thought - free for Noble, stay connected to the people who are affected by your actions
    2. Noble Deed - free for Noble, your actions have greater impact and are remembered and recorded
    3. Inventor's Vision - free for inventor, studying a problem gives increasing insight in how to improve it
    4. Inventor's Intent - free for inventor, your creations are harder to misuse
    5. Improved POV - free for witness, observe / remember events from multiple perspectives
    6. Bystander - free for witness, events can unfold around you leaving you unharmed
    7. All Together Now - merge all your past origins into a complex mind
    8. 500 Years of Practice (Teaching) - mastery beyond mastery of the chosen skill
    9. Soothing Presence - calm strong emotions and suffering
    10. Absolution - If someone genuinely repents, you can allow them to move
  5. Items
    1. Meditation Garden - self-explanatory warehouse attachment
    2. Biosphere - Full purchase activates the Biosphere Supplement
    3. Tree of Life Sapling - Grows six immortality fruits per decade, which can (over very long time) grow more trees

Jump Notes

  1. I wake up in my room in the warehouse apartments, after shutting myself in without even checking the Benefactor's Lounge the night before
    1. I'm still lingering on the frustration of not cracking the riddle of Allabar, and not being able to solve the problem permanently
    2. But there's no going back, so I commit to facing forward for the rest of the week, and head to the Benefactor room
      1. Once again, there are four envelopes with me, and my big chart of jumps up on the wall, like something from a Kindergarten classroom
      2. As I affix a sticker saying "The Fountain (2006)" to the big chart, a small round outline appears next to it: "Biosphere Supplement available"
    3. On my way to call a team meeting, I catch a surprise outside the apartments
      1. Three of our bard graduates are slowly exploring the area
    4. At the team meeting, I announce my intention to go solo on the next jump
      1. The decision isn't popular, but most of them have waited while I've done gauntlets before, so it's not a big shock
    5. We set up the entertainment room to watch the movie, even though I don't expect that meta knowledge will be much help
      1. For the first time, we don't all fit in the Entertainment room
      2. By count, there are eleven of us (me and ten companions), the Halflings are now up to fifteen after two recent births, and we have nine new bards with us, so we set up a second showing in the evening
    6. Finally, before heading in to the jump, I make one last check of the Benefactor's office to see if there's more information on the biosphere supplement, but though my note has been removed, there is no response, and nothing on the tablet
  2. I awake from a deep sleep in a luxurious bed, it is early morning and the sun is still rising
    1. I can feel the absence of my abilities; I am reduced below even bodymod, to the level of a baseline middle-aged man in a world with primitive medicine
      1. Nevertheless, I can feel a gift reaching back in time to me - and as I accept it, I am calmed, no longer distressed by what I have lost
    2. In this time, I have duties, both in the mundane sense of the tasks those around me expect me to perform, as well as a greater sense in which I must try to make this world better
    3. My new gift becomes invaluable in due time
      1. All manner of petitioners and officers come to me with grievances, and each of them are a storm of emotions - no one comes before their Count to declare how satisfied they are with things
      2. In short time, word of my wisdom spreads, and my council is sought by King Ferdinand
    4. I lobby my King with an eye to improving the lives of all involved
      1. It is the lives of ordinary Spaniards that are the measure of his ability as a King, not the mass of his treasury
      2. Colonialism brings with it dangers beyond the obvious, and responsibilities for ages to come
      3. Allowing the priests to destroy artifacts of other cultures does not increase our glory, but diminishes it
    5. Despite my ability to make my case clearly and seemingly overcome all objections, my guidance is rarely heeded when I leave the room
    6. And before long, it seems I have made enemies of those who stand to gain by plundering the New World
      1. They do not discuss the matter with me, or make their displeasure known by facing me down in violence
      2. But as the breath leaves my lungs over dinner, my last thought is that I have been poisoned by a coward
  3. I awake from a fitful sleep in a large bed, my wife still asleep beside me despite the chirping of my alarm clock
    1. My first throught is of the date - It is September 7, 1999 - the first day of fall semester
      1. This will not be my first time teaching CS 101, but this time will be different, I can feel the power in my body, my mind, and my soul
    2. I arrive at my office early, of course, and make sure everything is in order - the syllabus handouts are ready, my slides are in order and proof-read, and my TAs have confirmed their preparedness
      1. The lecure hall is large - so many students sign up for CS 101 without any prior programming knowledge, just to see what it's like, or convinced that they will be a natural
      2. As the students file in, they sparsely occupy the massive auditorium, afraid to sit near people they don't know, not fully understanding that for the vast majority of them, this is their first class on campus, their first opportunity to get to know eachother
      3. I exhort them to move towards the front so they can hear and see better, and a few oblige
      4. The first lecture flows like a breeze, the students hanging on my words as I understand what each one needs to hear to understand what the rest of this semester will hold
    3. By semester's end, the students and TAs are in awe, the CS department chair has asked for my materials and told me that spring registrations for CS102 are higher than ever, both of the student papers have run articles praising my class, and the dean of Arts and Sciences has interceded to clear my spring schedule to prioritize my research work on the condition that I teach 101 again next year
      1. I appreciate my grad students and TAs, but I don't have a real family in this life, so I head into the warehouse for winter break
  4. I awaken rested and enthusiastic on a beautiful spring day
    1. It is graduation day for the first group of freshman I taught after coming to this jump, nearly four years ago
      1. They have come so far, and I'm fortunate that some of the best have continued to work with me, and three of them will be graduate students working under me starting in the fall
    2. It is also the first day of human trials for the drug, a new anti-inflammatory
      1. We were hoping it would treat chronic inflammatory diseases, but early testing suggests that it may significantly reduce hay fever, which would be great if we can mass produce it cheaply
    3. My reputation at the school has skyrocketed thanks to the combination of my groundbreaking research plus my teaching perks ensuring high instructor reviews as well as students learning and retaining more
      1. My tenure process has been fast-tracked, since the dean is rightly concerned about losing me to another institution
  5. I awaken slowly, and awkwardly, as if from a coma, as a cocktail of drugs is released into my body, still restrained on my cryobed
    1. Our vessel, the Cyllene, is essentially a large asteroid with a hole carved in the middle, stuffed with propellent, equipment, supplies, expansive aquaponics facilities, and a relatively tiny living area
      1. Cyllene was said to have nursed and protected Hermes, as this vessel must nurture and protect us, the first observers, and hopefully, colonists,
    2. As my body and mind resume normal function over the course of 90 minutes, I get a slow trickle of updates on the status of the Cyllene and our mission
      1. The mission clock says it's 202 years since we left Earth, but thanks to time dilation, Earth has experienced 221
      2. Computer Block 5 (of 8) is currently undergoing automated reconstruction as the block with the highest error correction rate at the time the last automated reconstruction completed
      3. 1575 individuals are currently in cryosleep, and 25 (including me) are active, all sufficiently healthy
      4. I am still Dr. John Axstrom, revered teacher and groundbreaking computational pharmacologist, but my consciousness seems to have jumped forward a few hundred years, skipping past the development of miracle cures, life extension medications, and cryogenic preservation of humans
    3. As I realign with my memories and identity, I remember why I'm here
      1. If colonization proceeds, the coming generations are going to need exceptional teachers if they are to learn their place in the universe, and I'm one of the best there ever was
      2. Our mission is expected to take about 750 years from departure to arrival, and though the vast majority of that time is spent in cryosleep, we take shifts being "awake" to ensure systems are functioning and keep eachother mentally and physically healthy
    4. Since the monitoring systems will throw a fit if I straight up disappear from the vessel, I take a long ride out to the external "observation" check, out of the range of most of the sensor systems
      1. There's not really much to observe in deep space - it's like the night sky, as the ancients saw it with no light pollution, but from a different perspective
      2. Here I quickly form a stunt double duplicate, hand over my electronics, and duck into the warehouse
    5. The warehouse clock confirms my suspicions - I'm nearly seven years into the jump
      1. Since it looks like this isn't going to take nearly 1000 years, the team hasn't been going full-stasis mode
      2. The bards have been poring over J-Borg's personal library as well as the impressive collection of the warehouse media room
      3. But the reason I came is the Tablet of the Free - I'm stuck on a large but still confined deep-space vessel until my scheduled return to cryosleep - how is that supposed to entertain the boss?
      4. After confirming nothing interesting is in the warehouse, I head back to the observation deck, and stash the portable door I've been using back into hammer-space before re-merging with my stunt double, and taking the long trip back to the living area
  6. I wake up to an unfamiliar synthetic beep - apparently the Cyllene's version of a doorbell
    1. When I open the door, one of my crewmates tells me that our directional antennas have picked up some unusual RF activity that seems to be coming from our destination system, and they want me (as the on-shift programmer) to help the astronomer, comms, and operations staff to help make sense of it, and ensure we're not about to get nuked by a magnetar or something
    2. Initial findings were sparse and inconclusive - just occasional pulses of a signal that must have been very strong and highly directional at the time of transmission, to reach us so far away
    3. But I had access to diagnostic tools that the astrophysicists and comms staff didn't, for all their training and equipment: a series of perks specifically for teasing out the needles of relevance from the haystack of noise
      1. And as I looked at what we were seeing, and what we weren't, the answer became clear: these radio bursts looked just like a primitive form of RADAR
      2. At first my colleagues on the Cyllene were skeptical, but the evidence kept mounting, with 4 additional series of "pings" being detected in the next six weeks
    4. With the spectre of extraterrestrial intelligence hanging over the Cyllene, our XO followed protocol, and ordered the full complement to be wakened from cryosleep to assist in the work to come
    5. Within six months, we had fabricated and installed a much larger purpose-built directional antenna array on the surface of our asteroid hull, and reports of different signals were coming in almost daily
      1. We needed all the extra hands, even our mining and terraforming experts were lending a hand with signal analysis and attempts to form patterns
      2. The whole crew felt the urgency and wondered at the situation - temporally, it would mean that their early experiments with RADAR and initial RF broadcasts would have happened at about the same time as humans did those things on earth, and if they developed at the same rate as us (a big if), they would likely be more advanced when we arrivedd than humans were when we left (and thus the technology of our vessel), and would almost certainly see us coming
    6. The coming months flew past, each bringing further confirmation of suspicious, but with it frustration, as we had been unable to extract a coherent signal - the broadcasts we could pick up didn't appear to be using either amplitude or frequency modulation
      1. More than once I brought signal samples to the warehouse team, but they were just as stumped as us
      2. Even more "esoteric" means didn't work - we tried every variation of "Tongues" and "Comprehend Language" spells on printed, audioized, and even engraved versions of the RF signals we caught, but they all failed and the representations seemed full of too many discontinuities
    7. I could feel my new Inventor's Vision working on the task of how to decode these signals, and about two years after the first pulse was detected, I had my breakthrough
      1. The signals didn't represent continuous audio (like human radio) or even piece-by-piece visuals (like rasterized video), but something of each, and a little weirder
      2. They were composed of many (from seven to three hundred, and not consistent at all) micro-audio clips
      3. It was like making an ultra-low bitrate recordding of the voice of every singer in a chorus individually, and transmitting fifty milliseconds of one, then fifty milliseconds of the next, and so one, in serial, and then starting back again with the first voice
      4. We couldn't figure out why they did this, but once I was able to identify the break points between each "voice", I could layer them on top of eachother to make a composite audio version
      5. And that composite audio could be played, and was a viable candidate for magic translation
    8. The entire vessel went wild when I demonstrated the isolation and recombination of the signals to produce audio
      1. The sound of the thing was somewhat like the sound of multiple birds, frogs, and crickets in a forest, in very brief clips
      2. Of course, I didn't reveal that I had access to magic translation - I figured the comms and signals staff (and the one cryptographer) should have to earn their pay
    9. The remaining year and a half was spent in intense research, for them, while I mostly slacked off and tried to make conversation with the people doing important work on this front, since my actual mission here was to "observe" as humans of this universe underwent a sort of assymmetrical first contact
  7. I awaken in my weird little pod bed in my weird little capsule room for the last time, perfectly aware of the remaining hours in this jump
    1. After the initial excitement died down, the majority of the colonists were put back into cryosleep, with only the decoding specialists and those "on shift" like me staying active
      1. There has been a lot of anxiety around the Cyllene for the last few months - we are clearly a colony ship and the intelligent inhabitants of that system probably do not want to be colonized, and may well be easily capable of destroying us
      2. There were discussions about trying to reverse course and head back to Earth, but we could do that any time, and the closer we get, the more information we can gather about the system and its inhabitants
    2. It would be cruel to try to skim supplies from this vessel even if there were something I wanted aboard, so I just wait my time out, helping where I can and secretly translating any communications we receive when time permits
      1. So far it has all been rather uninspiring, which makes me even more curious what kind of species would develop radio technology but not transmit any fiction or speeches or poetry
    3. When it's almost time, I once again make the long trek out to the Cyllene's observation deck alone, and split off a Stunt Double, who can at least stay here for a month, while I slip into the warehouse
      1. When I enter, J-Borg greets me and informs me of a message at the Benefactor's lounge
      2. The note on the door says "Supplement Pending - please attend as soon as possible", so I go in to check it out
      3. With the choices all locked in, the door unlocks and I head out to meet with the team
    4. With the memories of my time in Spain finally restored, I realize how I had been trying to communicate with myself all along, but failing
      1. The need for calm communcation and education will never end - among our closest neighbors or with a civilization 300 light years away
    5. We have the traditional group dinner in the commons, and discuss what's going on
      1. The team did end up spending most of the time in stasis, and the formerly-newborn halflings are a little over a year now biologically, learning to speak and walk
      2. When I mention the Biosphere supplement and how I wasn't allowed to consult them, they naturally asked when it would apply, but it hadn't even occurred to me that there were now definitely too many of us to wait out warehouse changes in the entrance hall, so I checked with the central control
    6. Afterward, no one was complaining when the doors finally unlocked and we were able to leave the commons hall, only to find that the door led to an outdoor path with a natural-looking sunset on the horizon
      1. I didn't want to spoil the whole setup yet, so I said we could tour in the morning, and turned off a number of the facilities and systems for the night, to give me some time to understand what options were available before letting my companions go wild with them
      2. Fortunately, the obvious items like the tree of life and factory complex were on other islands, that would be difficult to reach without the transport disks running
    7. And then I went to sleep again, wondering what the next awakening had in store for me

Notes on the Fountain Jump Doc

  1. Honestly this doc has been on my to-try list since I saw it - I really enjoyed the movie and gladly rewatched it again when it came up in my random draw.
  2. The author took some liberties with the source material, which makes sense because of how focused on Thomas the story is, and the extensions largely make sense
  3. There were a few confusing things in the jump, such as how you get essences and what powers you bring with you into each phase of the jump, but a close reading makes them clear enough
  4. The jump has a few really standout purchase
    1. the inventor's intention is the answer to a lot of concers that "do-gooder" jumpers are likely to have in their careers
    2. the full tree of life is an amazing item - the ability to grant perfect health and immunity to aging within a regrowing item solves a lot of problems
    3. 500 years of practice is amazing if you have a particular skill or art in mind - literally centuries better than the "10 years of practice" equivalents that you find din many other jumps, and has a lot of potential to synergize with other perks that scale off your skill in a particular area
    4. Biosphere is super cool if you want your fiat-backed warehouse to grow into something more
    5. The Dagger of the Path is a great example of a conceptual weapon, and something I probably would have picked up if I had a bunch more points
  5. How you're supposed to interleave the three eras is a little unclear, and maybe I'm not a creative enough author to pull it off. I don't believe SJ Chan ever got around to writing a fictionalized account of jumping to it, unfortunately
    1. If anyone else has done a good jump fiction of this jump, please let me know
  6. Overall absolutely a fantastic jump. Obviously a great option for anyone who likes the movie or wants to solve one of the specific problems available
    1. I'd especially recommend it for an early-chain jumper because of the generally low danger level and great variety of rewards

Notes on the Biosphere Supplement Doc

  1. I knew this was something I wanted to pick up when I first read the fountain jumpdoc several months ago
  2. I use the "Personal Reality" warehouse which was co-authored by SJ Chan, and this supplement feels perfectly tailored to supplement that
  3. There are lots of good pickups for people with various interests, or those who just want to keep their options open
    1. Observation Deck seems like the real must-have since a lot of the other buys are controllable through it
  4. The structure of the biosphere was a little confusing at first - I thought that there was an island, a void around the island, and a hard shell, and wasn't sure why you'd want to increase the shell thickness, but further reading cleared that up
  5. On the whole, a good pick up, especially considering it only cost 400 CP in the jump, and normally buying warehouse upgrades with CP has a very unfavorable conversion, but in this case, the biosphere purchases all seemed cheaper than they ought to be.
(Builds to come in a separate post due to length restrictions)
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