I'm in the process of re-roofing my 30 year old home. Like most of us who know nothing about roofing until shit happens and we start searching and asking questions about underlayment we find out there is different types.
Some say a double layer of #30 pound felt is better than synthetic and in a way it makes sense. My home is 30 years old with a tile roof and first time I got a leak from one of the valleys and only have one layer of felt underlayment. So the proof is in the pudding.
However some roofers recommend peel and stick synthetic over felt and some recommend the old school way, felt #30 double layer.
Yes, synthetic is new improving technology underlayment and time will tell.
I'm not a roofer but I think no matter what type of underlayment you use, after 30yrs or 40yrs you are going to need to repair something.
So what's your opinion?
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I’ve always been large chested. As I’ve gotten older, they have only gotten larger and more difficult to deal with. I’ve wanted a breast reduction for quite some time now and recently brought it up with my family doctor. She said based on my size I would qualify for a breast reduction for medical reasons and encouraged me to call some local offices (she said I did not require a referral but would write a letter on my behalf to help my case if needed). The first office I called initially sounded promising as the surgeon there is well known in my area and has gotten good reviews for people I know. Once I gave them my insurance info to make an appointment, I get a call back after booking the consultation from the lady in charge of billing/insurance at the office. She proceeds to tell me that my insurance is accepted but the type of program my card is under is not one they generally accept - they only will bill is it’s for urgent medical needs such as for a breast cancer patient. I told her that I wasn’t pursuing the surgery for aesthetic purposes and it was in fact for medical reasons (but obviously not as urgent as a breast cancer case) but she said the office wouldn’t/“couldn’t” do it. I’m bummed, but didn’t want to give up just yet. I call another office in my area who has a different surgeon (also great reviews but none from anyone I personally knew) and leave a message to inquire about a consultation. I get a call back and I am told they don’t bill insurance and are cash only.
At this point I don’t know if I have any other options. I feel like I’ve hit a wall.. Has anyone run into this issue before with their insurance? Are more dr’s going cash only?
For reference, I am 5’ 3” and am currently a 36-38DDD. At my thinnest weight of 100 lbs, I was still a 32DD. I mention my size at my thinnest because I’ve had people tell me that I just need to lose weight, but that won’t solve the problem as I’ve been large chested from an early age. Genetics also play a roll as my mother was also large chested and passed away from breast cancer at a young age. Her mother also passed away fairly young from cancer (I’m not sure what kind), making me a third generation for potential cancer risk. Any help/advice is appreciated. Or words of encouragement if you are also going through something similar.

Hello my name is Omar and I'm from New Jersey ,USA. I am a 23 year old and I'm looking to make some foreign friends (: I love making friends from different countries and getting to know their way of life and culture.
I love wrestling, soccer (yes I know it's called football lol), swimming, weightlifting and video games. I also am learning how to cook more often and I like to bake too. I also like to work on my own car that I call Blue Bonita
Usually I'm watching WWE and maybe some AEW, and with football usually premier league or MLS. (Manchester City fan ;) )
I have a PS5 and mainly just play WWE, FIFA, Call of duty and hitman (:
I am Hispanic, with a Mexican heritage although I was born in the US. I am usually shy but I can talk a lot sometimes. I am very introverted and like to have minimal friends as possible. I speak English fluently and Spanish almost fluently.
I love to listen to Reggaeton, Bachata, Salsa, a little bit of rap and r&b. Maybe a tiny bit of pop ;D
I'm a chatterbox and I love to talk a lot and about anything.
I love cats and I have 3 of them. Though I'm fond of every type of pet.
If you'd like to chat or possibly become my friend, don't hesitate to message me (:

The first ship that arrived was pretty matter of fact about its fate. The pilot introduced himself as Eric, said he was part of the first sublight resupply attempt in modern history, then gave me and the ground control team his bad news.
“So,” he said. “Without real time telemetry, we weren’t even sure which half of your orbit you’d be in. That’s half a solar system’s worth of wiggle room. Decelerating enough to survive contact with your low orbit would take me two weeks, which, you know, it looks like we don’t have. That means that in order to get the second ship in before you lose orbital control to the Kresh, I’m gonna have to make a sacrificial flyby. Ten to the negative four torr is good enough for a lot of things, but at point-seven c it’s gonna be like sandblasting a soup cracker. Good news is that all the expensive toys are in the next ship, so this really ain’t costing you more than a ship and a pilot.”
“You knew,” I said. If they put the expensive toys in the second ship, they knew that the first was likely a sacrifice. No one smart enough to handle orbital physics would miss that.
“I did,” he said. “But someone had to go first.”
That was, of course, a lie. No one had to go first. No else had had, at least. When our connection to the FTL network was lost, we’d understand as the end of our reinforcements. Doing resupplies via sublight was just too risky. It was a testament to Earth that it had accepted the risk and continued anyway.
“Is there anything we can do for you?” I asked. This man had come here to die for us. I wasn’t sure how much I could give, but what I had was his.
“I do have a few requests,” he said. “First up, I need as much high-orbital data as you got. The whole lot.”
I began directing tightbeam resources to him immediately. It was an easy resource to exchange - it wasn’t like there was anyone else out to talk to anymore. When we lost FTL, we found ourselves very, very alone.
“Second,” he said. “Right, I know I’m gonna sound like a princess right now, but I have been stuck in this stupid tin-can for almost two-years now, and I seriously overestimated how much I like synth music. If you have anything that’s analog - I don’t care what kind of string or drum or brass you play, but I’d kill to hear something without a beep in it.”
I jumped my own queue in the tightbeam, and added a short playlist that I ripped from the local web. Human Music, it was labeled. 3 Terabytes. I prayed there was something on it that he’d like.
“And third,” he said. “Third. The uh, next pilot is pretty mad at me. Turns out this will just be one of those things left unfinished. That’s all death really is, I guess - a lot of unfinished things. Let him know that he was right: He is a better pilot than me. But tell him that wouldn’t have made a difference here. Bad luck beats skill, and this luck was shit.”
I promised, and he went silent after that. We could see what data he was analyzing, and the short answer was all of it - everything from atmospheric density to troop positions and his own ship’s blueprints. He knew he had one shot at this, and that if the price wasn’t paid here, it would be paid by whoever came next.
---
Ground control didn’t get a verbal warning that he’d entered atmosphere. Just a ping. A little here-I-am, whispered in the dark.
After that, we could keep track with visuals alone.
He hit the outskirts of the exoatmosphere in his first pass, burning bright enough to be seen with the naked eye. He caught the sparse particles like a kite, trying to shed enough speed to hit actual low orbit. Automatic telemetry updates gave us the grim news for the ship: Thermals were holding up decently, but the ablative was wearing out fast.
The entire descent brought us more than two hour’s reprieve. The Kresh hadn’t expected to see a resupply, but they knew what one meant: Get it now, get it fast, or deal with a stream of new troops. They could buy themselves ten days' time by shooting this one ship down now. That was an eternity during a siege.
The first loop lowered the speed by about a twentieth of light. The pilot responded by pulling the ship in tighter, burning trying to preserve more ablative plating by trading off with thermal. Seven fighters were close enough to fire off heat seekers. I don’t think the Kresh had ever anticipated shooting down a craft coming in that hot - the missile's decoy avoidance countermeasure actually made it steer around the thing, chasing down loose pieces of shrapnel. Cooled fragments, still hotter than an engine, should be at full blast. The simple mistakes bought it enough time to enter pre-orbit, and the fighters had to stop their pursuit. They weren’t willing to die to stop the ship.
Our man, on the other hand, was already committed to that course.
A third loop followed a fourth. Ablative coating went from 65% integrity, to 30%, to 5%. Telemetry scans were exceptionally detailed - the pilot was making the flyby count. The last message we got from him was simple:
Are you EMP shielded? he asked, not even bothering to encrypt the text stream. He didn’t have time to process more than that.
Yes, we replied. We knew what he was thinking, but it was still a shock to see it. The fusion torch flared hot, burning through the nozzle and feeding directly into the craft’s dueterium supply. The reaction went super critical, and the resulting neutron pulse set off everything in the ship with a z-count higher than iron. Three continuous seconds of EM interference screamed through the comms as the hulk burned through orbit.
The explosion itself wasn’t powerful enough to kill the Kresh ships still in high orbit, but it made enough broadband radiation to blind both sides LADAR. The man must have been a hell of a pilot - half the shrapnel went down and got burned up as it entered the standard atmosphere, traded as the cost of moving the other half past lagrange. Standard evasion would’ve made the pieces easy to dodge, but with LADAR down, all the Kresh could do was sit still and cower as the wrath of a dead man riddled them full of holes. Our best ace had managed to shoot down seven ships before this before getting shot down himself. The wreckage of the freighter took down six.
---
The second ship came in stealth. One second, we were holding attrition in high orbit, the next, something the size of a small station came ripping through the atmosphere.
It did the same trick as the former - swapping between ablative and thermal loads, coming down at a speed that the Kresh fighters didn’t even try to match. Armies could be built in years, but skills like this took decades.
Telemetry connection was established almost as an afterthought. The way the ship casually ate through ablative armoring made my eyes water, but the pilot himself seemed pretty non-plussed.
“You’re down to fifteen percent coverage. You need-
What I need,” he said, “is to see the previous ship’s telemetry. If there’s one thing you can trust, it’s that this bird is going to come down gentle.”
He cut off my chance to reply by flicking the channel off. We watched, and we wrang our hands, but sure enough he came in six minutes later with 4% of the ablative left.
I met him on the landing pad. Under normal circumstances, we’d have needed twenty-four hours for the craft to cool enough to even approach, but we’d had cryo ready just in case. Three tankers of nitrogen, and the loading area, at least, was cool enough to touch. Safety would have to take a backseat to speed here - we needed the supplies fast.
But those both would take a backseat to a promised conversation with the second pilot. He was out of the craft as soon as the air was cool enough to avoid scalding his lungs, picking through the workers to try and find who had the telemetry data.
I found him first. The drive went into his hands, but I needed to keep my promise with Eric before letting go.
“You’re better than the first pilot,” I said, and I wasn’t lying. If the previous flier had been a saint, this one was a god. “But you wouldn’t have been able to manage the landing either. There just wasn’t time.”
“Let me see,” he said, tugging on the drive. “Just let me see. I have to know I couldn’t do it either. I have to know that someone had to die.”
I let go of the drive and he stalked back into his ship. I didn’t follow. I figured I’d pushed things far enough as it was.
---
The second pilot left the ship six hours later. He looked bleary in a way that put me at ease. I’d been up the last six hours directing supplies from the ship. Everything from ground-to-orbit rails to AGI targeting systems was inside, and to say it was gamechanging would be an understatement. It was good work, but I was tired, and I didn’t want to have to pretend otherwise. Seeing the other man with bags under his eyes meant we could just be frank with each other.
“I couldn’t have managed it,” he said, half-ashamed, half-relieved.
“It just wasn’t possible,” I agreed.
We sat there a moment longer. I didn’t mind the break. This was time well spent.
“Did it hurt?” he asked finally.
“Ablative failed before heating,” I said, which was the technical way of saying no. “He overloaded the reactor before the ship actually broke up and did some kind of slingshot maneuver - hit the main body of the Kresh fleet with half a space station’s worth of shrapnel.”
“Good,” he said.
I knew the signs. The tremor in his cheek, the way his jaw clenched - it wasn’t professional, but I hugged him anyway. Let him have the dignity of choosing to weep instead of having it wrenched out of him.
It was a gift we’d all been given at some point in this war. At least now, there was the hope it could be over soon.

Really stupidly fell victim to sextortion on instagram about an hour ago. The profile was convincing since someone I know follows the account as well.
She started conversation and like 20 mins in asked to trade nudes, which I stupidly agreed too.
We kept talking and then randomly I got sent a collage of a normal face pic of me, 1 nude, and 1 screen shot of my instagram followers. And said I had to “cooperate” or they would “ruin me with leaking photos” my first reaction was to to respond with “that’s not even me lmao” trying to play it off. They sent another long winded message trying to scare me. After that I just blocked them, reported to instagram for 3 different reasons, and made my account private.
I’m honestly not super worried about this situation, but really just wondering what I should do, if anything? How will I know if they’ve actually done any leaking? How likely is it that they would in this type of situation?

I'm in the UK, and I've got both a SIPP, a workplace pensions, and an ISA. When creating a new account in Banktivity, I've got several options some of which are similar in nature to US accounts, but are obviously not the exact same kind of account. Are there any advantages/disadvantages to choosing for example an IRA as the account type instead of a standard "Investment/Brokerage" account?

[fucking long] (22m) I genuinely don't remember when I was last happy, like I remember when my parents were together in a decent looking house in a higher middle class neighborhood when my second sibling was born enjoying the time we spent together just playing outside with our rude neighbors and petting our cats indoors and just being kids. Not long after that we went for a walk by a pond with some geese and my mother became irate with my father said some stuff (that I honestly don't remember) and took his tin of dip pouches, told me to eat some and threw the rest to geese. Afterwards my father tried to get me to spit them up we went home. I don't think we talked about it or even went to a doctor. 2 years after that we were staying at my grandparents house bc my grandma was terminal, and maybe a week or two after she passes. We went to the funeral I was crying and crying and I don't remember what else happened. I don't know why but after that I was told that we were going to go see Grandpa again and to get ready, when I went to my room I remember crying and choking myself with a cord to some kids magnify glass (I don't know why I did that) and I don't remember the trip. We ended moving again but were in the same town. My last sibling was born, I ended up getting to choose his middle name pretty prideful of it. My father and mother fight bc my mother feels neglected, so my father ops to work nights. My mother feels that my father doesn't help with the family, he cooks meals 4 times a week. My mother thinks we should be going to therapy, so we do. The therapist thinks I have depression, so I get prescribed antidepressants at 8. Turns out I'm allergic and break out into hives, ended up going to the hospital and getting prescribed steroids. (This happened 3 times total) Parents have a big fight bc Mom was caught with another man in the house, mother moves us to a different town closer to her family. Mom takes me with her to see father in original house at night, he's on the porch sitting in the doorway just sleeping and loopy. Mother is waking him up saying something about him having a problem. (Years later he told me that paramedics were called on him since he nearly ODed on opioids, and he nearly died) Dad comes to check on us and parents are being happy again. Mother's family doesn't like dad (apparently my grandfather is super racist and found out that my father is 1/4 aa from his grandmother. IDK why he never said bitched about it years before, but different matter.) They get back together in the original house, and not even a year later I see my mother talking to a random guy in a laundry mat bring it up to her and she starts hitting me telling me to forget it. More time they fight, we end up leaving in the middle of the night with my father being put into a cop car. (He was released a day later doing nothing to my mother. But what's funny is that the expensive stuff that was bought for my siblings and self was seemingly gone, with my father saying that he assumes that it was my mother and our pothead neighbors nextdoor.) Mother ended up moving us around three times before we stayed in a the same shitty town that my mother was born in with 3 potheads my mother said were her friends. (Personal hatred of stoners) I licked a spoon from a pot of jambalaya, so the prick that my mother was dating waited until I went to sleep and scared me awake [while wearing a balaklava and all black] holding me down, before getting off of me saying that he scared me and to never eat from the ladle again. My cousin let me smoke some weed with him that he never said was laced until I later asked(I don't remember what is was but I remember everything looking static and blocky). I threaten to call the cops on the prick that my mother was dating if he did anything to them. So my mother puts me in a program called options, I was there for a month before my father pulled me out of it. My mother moves to a trailer next to a daycare, I end up riding a short bus and end up going to the daycare. I ended up fighting with the caretaker saying that I could just take care of myself over at my home, and later that night I get into another fight with the prick my mother was dating. Got put in another options clinic further away and labeled with Asperger's before getting it changed to autism and AdHD without even testing me, was two weeks before my father pulled me out. My mother gets me again, takes me with her to a Kroger parking lot where she sells her pills to someone. I mentioned it to my father when I saw him again. Some time later we went back to the stoner house and my father goes there and started yelling and following my mother outside where she was putting us kids in the car. (Apparently he found out that my mother was letting us be around these people who 2 of them had SA charges with one of them being with a minor.) Before decking the shit out of the prick and break his jaw (unfortunately only needed to get his jaw wired for a month). Aunt saw a text message from my father on the phone that was given to me [said that he was sorry that my siblings and me had to experience all of that] and ripped it out of my hands saying that I should never talk to him. My father ended up being put in jail for a year. My mother left the prick and got together with a dirt bag that my father used to be friends with. They would typically go out to eat with his daughters leaving us at home and give us the scraps from their take out or just tell us to make something ourselves (I was 13 and never taught anything), after that I got pissed and ended up disappearing for a whole day because I didn't want to go to school and ended up having some cops looking for me and amber alert and being sent to live with my dad. (I don't care I fucking won) Some time later I ended up breaking my leg from roller skating in school and permanently getting it removed from the criteria and ruining everyone's 7th grade year. (feel like a winner) Moving to a new town with dad(final town to this day), going to highschool. [Retrospect] Some cute girl sat across from me at the library wanting to interlock hands, so I did. She asked if it felt special (I didn't know what that meant to me), I said no and she never talked to me again. Another cute girl, asked me on the last day of middle school if I was interested in anyone and if I wanted to date. I said no (I didn't think I deserved anything and didn't want to waste her time) Freshman year I ended up "e-dating" two people I met on Wattpad(I am aware how cringe I am). First person was someone who suffered anorexia and we used Skype would talk daily and she ended up breaking things up 3 weeks after. Second person was someone who wanted to talk and watch each other sleep before she ultimately changed it to having us sext(hoimomes and teens) her friend wanted her to break up saying that I was probably some old man who was a pedo. (I did not leave that area of the Internet in the healthiest way possible, both for my mental being and how I left the people on there) Pretty much zoomed though highschool stabbing someone freshman year, being thought to be a potential shooter, and overall being treated with fear and respect. Though some people did think I was wasting my potential, especially since I never did my homework but always scored high on my tests and was always asleep at home. Highschool graduation was ruined by COVID, I didn't care. Got a job working on a warehouse dock buying knifes and testing how sharp they were on the top side of only one of my arms, slowly breaking mentally before asking a friend(19m) out saying that was fearful that I was nothing more than a background friend.. 9 months and 3 grand later we broke up (and I don't talk to him to this day) Quit the job, was unemployed for a year just sleeping in bed all day, wound up poisoning my self with caffeine pills so bad that I was taken to a hospital. Got another job, wound up continuing the knife hobby before stopping (stopped feeling any emotion related to the pain, so it was pointless) and got into a different hobby (to burry any resentment or negative feelings) And that's been going up until today with me getting so bored that I was curious how much weight I would lose if I stopped eating every other day. (Lost 25lbs from 210 to 185 yoyo-ing 180 if I don't eat enough calories)
all I feel daily is nothing but empty and tired. The only reason that I am still here is the self hatred for everything I've done wrong by own admission or what I've been told by horrible mother.
Tldr: I am the mistake of two fuck ups and am still here by the means of so much self hatred that I ignore my loneliness.

Hey everyone,
I just landed an interview for the Houston SPCA Summer Job Program, and I really want this opportunity. The program offers hands-on veterinary experience and involves working in areas like animal rescue, community outreach, and various types of animal care.
Here’s some background on me: - I’ve shadowed a vet during a previous summer, mostly observing without much hands-on training. - I’ve volunteered at Houston Pets Alive, an animal shelter, where I helped with medicines and prescriptions but didn’t do any vet-specific tasks. - I’m a current txst sophomore majoring in wildlife biology. ( I want to be a wildlife veterinarian )
I’m super eager to learn and want to make the best impression during my interview. Any advice on how to prepare, what to highlight about my experience, or specific things I should study up on would be greatly appreciated!
Here’s the job description if that’s of any help:
“ Since 1924, Houston Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has been the leading private, nonprofit animal welfare organization in the greater Houston region. Receiving no governmental funding, we rely upon community financial support to achieve our goals of improving and protecting the lives of animals in our community and alleviating their suffering and abuse. Join our Summer Job Program for students who are looking to gain essential hands-on veterinary experience while making a difference in the lives of animals and people within our community. Applicants are required to be currently enrolled in a natural science, veterinary, pre-veterinary, or veterinary nursing/technical program. This is a 10 to 13-week program, lasting from June through August. Some flexibility may be offered to accommodate semester start and end times. Our program allows students to gain hands-on experience building essential technical skills that align with their interests, which may include the following: • Veterinarian (Safe Animal Handling, Physical Exams, Blood Draws, Surgical Prep, Anesthesia Monitoring, Laboratory Skills, etc.) • Community Outreach • Equine and Farm Animal Care • Wildlife Care • Nursery and Adoptions Center • Animal Rescue Exposure • Pet Wellness Clinic Participants will also gain exposure to a variety of clinical and shelter medicine topics, such as: • Infectious Disease Control • Neonatal Animal Care • Surgery • Animal Behavior Each student will receive mentorship and guidance to develop goals and monitor professional development throughout the summer. “
Thanks in advance for your help!

Man, I had a rough run, but here's my example of an application that went... not great. Worth noting that I had no idea what I was doing and the few people who apply US from my school are legacies/have contacts, and after I got deferred ED I panic-submitted all of these in the space of like two weeks. (also my college counselor was absolutely rubbish, told me I should aim for "safer schools", and then defined a safer school as anything above 10% acceptance).
Demographics

• Gender: Female
• Race/Ethnicity: White-Asian
• Residence: UK
• Income Bracket: Upper middle class
• Type of School: Very good private school in the UK
• Hooks: First in my family to study in the US, first generation immigrant, neurodivergent

Intended Major(s): Film, astronomy minor
Academics

• A-levels (predicted): Four A*s (art, history of art, philosophy, maths)
• GCSEs: eight 9's, three 8's

Standardized Testing

• SAT: 1470 superscored (790 writing, 680 maths) - submitted test-optional to all schools because I was told by my counselor it wasn't high enough.

Extracurriculars/Activities

• Accepted to a prestigious college-level summer film program at the age of 14, only international student and youngest in the program that year (between freshman and sophomore year)
• Set up and ran a film society at my school (sophomore year)
• Volunteered at neighbouring primary schools doing art classes (junior year)
• Artworks were exhibited in two group exhibitions (sophomore year and senior year)
• Attended a summer program in Los Angeles for three weeks for film directing (between sophomore and junior year)
• Did a month-long internship at an arts organisation program (between junior and senior year)
• Did graphic design work creating posters for filmmakers I've worked with in the past
• Researched and wrote a paper proposing a theorem on number theory pure mathematics (end of junior year)
• Freelance screenwriter for independent studios in my free time.
• Submitted twelve or so films I had directed as well as mixed-media artworks

Awards/Honors

• Highly commended for an art scholarship
• Artworks were exhibited in two group exhibitions

Letters of Recommendation

• Art teacher who I'm really close with and has supported me a bunch through my endeavours: 10/10
• Art history teacher who used to do US admissions at my school and has known me since I was 11: 10/10
• Counselor, who I barely knew, didn't really like me, and was generally very unhelpful: 4/10

Interviews

• UPenn - pretty ok, guy was a bit dry and had majored in statistics so it was a bit difficult to find common ground, this was also my first interview and I was so nervous
• Yale - lady was super nice and chatty and talkative and actually left me with some really good advice that wherever I did end up, Yale or not, I seemed like I would be happy. Worst part was that there was a big storm in England so the call kept cutting off.
• Princeton - oh god oh fuck what a disaster, it was going so well, the interviewer was super nice and she was asking me questions and seemed super interesting, and then came the question I had to ask her, and I went "what was your favourite part of the yal-THE UH PRINCETON EXPERIENCE". I did not get into Princeton.

Essays

• Wrote Common App on my expereinces with synaethesia and how it affected the way I see the world differently and how it affected my art.
• Other essays referenced being neurodivergent/seeing the world differently, an experience at a planetarium that made me see the beauty of astronomy, my exploration of individuality/identity in art, etc.

Decisions (oh god this was so rough)
Acceptances:

• NYU (committed for Tisch Film and TV!!)

Waitlists:

• UChicago (later rejected)
• Vassar
• Brown
• Tufts

Rejections:

• Harvard
• Yale
• Princeton
• Barnard
• Columbia (applied ED, deferred, rejected. ouch.)
• UPenn

Additional Information:
Well, that wans't exactly what I expected, but honestly, I'm thrilled. I've always wanted to live in New York, I've always wanted to go to film school, and I have a feeling this is all meant to be. NYU is better for film than ivies anyway and I'm still the first in my family to go to the US, and yep, 10 variations of "no" is rough, but it only takes one "yes" :) (see this post for extended gushiness and feelings)

sorry this is long and on mobile lmao i (18f) am a senior in hs and graduating next week. my friend (18f), we'll call her kat, is too. she told me this past weekend at prom that she liked a guy in our grade (18m), we'll call him jake. jake is class president, super charismatic, and an all around great guy. super easy to have a crush on. i myself had a crush on him most of last school year because we talked a fair amount as friends, talked about tv/movies, and lent each other books. then he got a girlfriend, so i stopped liking him.
before prom, kat and i went out to eat and we talked about her liking jake. i was shocked when she said this because it doesn't really make sense. she's very loud and spontaneous, he's very professional and goal-oriented. i could definitely work, but i just wasn't expecting it. i suggested that she talk to him and tell him how she feels and if he'll hang out with her over the summer. she said no, but that i could tell him for her. i said okay and i would and that was that.
at prom, kat and i linked up with another one of our friends (18f), we'll call her sav. i told sav (with kat's permission) about the situation and she went right over to jake and told him what i was going to for kat. she came back and told us he said something along the lines of "not right now, i'm doing good by myself and getting over my breakup." (they broke up about a month ago.) kat was completely okay with that, but i still wanted to talk to him about it.
when i went to go talk to him, i saw him talking with this girl that was openly in love with and obsessed with him when he first moved here our freshman year (ava, 17f). i waited for them to finish their conversation before i went over there, and i gestures to her once i got his attention. he just waved his hand like "it's no big deal", so i didn't really think about it. i said "i'm here for the same reason sav was a second ago" and he said "yeah i thought so. i'm not really looking for anything because i'm still getting through my breakup with [ex]. i'm doing good solo for now." i said okay and went back to my friends and prom went on normally until the end. i was talking with jake about college and ava came up behind him and said "c'mon, let's go", her tone something like i was flirting with her boyfriend. they left and we left shortly after.
(i also feel like this is important to mention: when i liked jake last school year, sav always teased me for it even though i never confirmed it was true. one day, she went up to him in a class they have together and told him she thinks "we should kiss". i asked if she was serious because that's extremely childish of her and embarrassing for me. she was serious, so i ended up texting jake and apologizing. he said it was fine and life went on.)
our school does an after prom party at our local bowling alley and most people go. sav and her boyfriend left to go hang out at his house, so it was me, kat, and kat's friend i'm not too familiar with (18f), we'll call her summer. summer brought kat and i to where her boyfriend's friends were bowling, and there wasn't enough room for me on the couch so i just stood behind it.
jake saw me standing on my phone and came up there and started talking to me. i waved when i saw him and he asked me how kat was doing. i said she was doing good and she didn't take it badly. he said he was glad and then started asking me about my breakup a few months ago. he said "did you and [ex] break up?" i said "yeah that was in january." he asked "was it a you think or a him thing?" and i said it was mostly mutual. he said it was the same with him and his ex and it just sucks when stuff doesn't work out. i agreed then asked about ava. if he was doing some reconciling or if he was gonna start something with her. he said "that ship sailed a long, long time ago. it crashed and is decomposing at the bottom of the ocean." i laughed and took his word for it then asked if the ship for him and kat had sailed yet. he said "i don't know, i don't think there really was one in the first place." i took that as the end of the conversation then summer's friend group went and played laser tag and insisted we come with them.
after we played laser tag, it was about time to leave. kat, summer, and i went to the snack table to grab some for the ride home. jake came in and walked over to me and asked what i was taking so he could take the rest home for his little brothers. we grabbed everything and our friends were walking toward the door, so we were a little behind them. he looked at me and said "it's been a while hasn't it" and i said "yeah it has" and before we could say anything else our friends yelled for us to hurry up so nothing else was said. i was like what the hell because that was too movie-esque for my liking. jake left and i waved bye and he saluted me and that was it.
on the drive home, i was talking to kat about everything. i asked her if she wanted me to give her jake's phone number so they could talk over the summer and maybe develop some type of relationship. she said no and that she was done trying because he already rejected her and they're going to different colleges and she's not okay with long distance. she was super calm and casual during all of this, then said "i can find someone else to like soon, it's really okay." i was like ummm okay because like how can you do that.
then i started thinking about him more because we talked a fair amount that night and it made me miss him a little. then i told myself it would be wrong and even though kat said she was over him, she might still be upset. i was thinking about inviting him to my graduation party this weekend, but i'm not sure if that's okay for me to do. would i be wrong if i tried to talk to him?

Over the past few days, several Loopers have come to me and told me about the storm looking funny. Dark clouds and red lightning, with some type of boat at the front. Now, the Zero Point's storm is used to acting up like this sometimes, and is mostly harmless. But this.. this is different. I can see it from outside The Loop. How can I see the storm from outside The Loop?! This is not natural and something bad is coming... I suggest everyone to be on full alert. We're not ready for what's going to arrive on the island.

**Sorry i wanted to post this article in two communities. I hope this is not a problem 😭
Lately the whole typology community has been obsessed with narrowing down possible combinations between types of different typology systems. This tendency, without any exaggerations, has reached a point of absurdity. Unfortunately the majority of community supports the idea of strict archetypes, neglecting the fact that human psyche is not a material thing that can fit into certain categories. Our consciousness surely can be characterised by some definitions or dichotomies, nonetheless all typology systems were inherently created to describe mental processes, not to force people fit into specific categorisations. All sciences change their theories if they don’t correspond to reality - for some reason this rule is not applied in typology. The community decided that we have to adjust people’s identities to fit into some rules that are not always correct.
Of course, some combinations are obviously not possible, but that absolutely doesn’t mean that we have to get rid of almost every correlations. Borders between various typology systems are not precise since each of them focuses on its own peculiar studies of human personality. This is the reason why sometimes it’s just impossible to amalgamate some typology methods to create a correlation between them.
In this article i want to talk about IEI so4 archetype and its combinations with types of attitudinal psyche method of typology.
First of all let’s emphasise that 4th enneagram type belongs to heart triad. This means that individuals who identify themselves with this enneatype can only be ethical types in socionics. Considering the fact that 4th enneagram type is also known as a withdrawn one, individuals who associate themselves with this enneatype are most likely to be introverts.
Now let’s dive deeper into details of social subtype. I want to quote a description from this website: “The social instinct motivates us to create relationships and care for the wellbeing of others. It includes our desire to positively enhance the lives of those we care for. When sensitive to the social instinct, we’re interested and curious about people beyond what they can be or do for us. The social drive is what helps us to assess who is and who isn’t a worthy friend, ally or partner, without losing sight of the humanity of anyone we may be in conflict with.”
Description of So-IV subtype by Claudio Naranjo: “Social Fours develop mechanisms for calling negative attention to themselves. The shyest of the Four subtypes. There's a shame about desiring, about "loving." Proust is filled with the social envy of the person dazzled by the "aristocracy," who has a passion for being "in", who wants to be included, to receive their favors. A feeling of "I'm nothing," "I'm ugly," "I'm silly." Fours in general want to absorb through their gaze, but this is especially true for the Social Four”
I think both of aforementioned citations are without any doubt correlated to the Fe-function in ego-block position: “Fe is generally associated with the ability to recognize and convey (i.e. make others experience) passions, moods, and emotional states, … , recognize and describe emotional interaction between people and groups, and build a sense of emotional unity.” - desertion is taken from this website:
We can conclude that So-4 enneagram subtype strives to share own emotions with others, in other words to evoke certain impressions in the public. It means that such individuals are focused on their emotional impact on others. This statement also corresponds to the description of the emotional aspect in the 2nd position, which is conscious, extroverted and subjective: “Second Emotions provoke the expression of reactions, showdown. They encourage acting in other people.” - https://wiki.personality-database.com/books/psychosophy-attitudinal-psyche/page/emotion
Now let’s discuss why IEI So-4 individuals may have the volitional aspect in the 4th position. Description of 4V: “The Fourth Will becomes weak-willed, waiting for decisions and active actions from others... Such individual can take the lead, but only if he is “assigned” by those around him, but hardly of his own free will, because he does not like to strain and bear responsibility too much. There is an opinion that the Fourth Wills have no ambitions - this is not so. But it is easier for them to realize their ambitions alone, without responsibility “for a common cause”. In addition, 4V can be “infected” with your dreams and plans with prolonged exposure”.
Aforesaid statement is almost identical to the definition of suggestive Se:
“He is additionally very indecisive. He may lack the ability to make important decisions, especially with regards to his own future. He may know what he wants to achieve out of life in a broad or long term sense, but will find it very difficult to set and finish the short term projects leading to it. In order to be able to act, he needs a tangible and definite stimulus from somebody well grounded in external reality and who has a clear picture of what must be done in a certain situation.”
All these arguments indicate that IEI So-4 archetype can be not only an ExVx in attitudinal psyche typology system, but also an xExV.
Thanks for your attention !!!!

[ First / Previous ]
Memory Transcription Subject: Hileen, Krakotl Fugitive Recovery Agent
Date [standardized human time]: November 28th, 2136
It'd been a while since I sat in Marlig's office for a talk face-to-face. Given the agency's secluded location at the edge of the downtown region, it was a chore to drop by when it wasn't for business, but I'd deemed the matter at hand to be worth my time.
I passed by Nampi at her desk on my way to the door and she gave me a coy glare as I carried on. Trying to ignore her risible ear waggle, I turned the corner to the door with my boss’s name painted on the glass panel where I could hear the frantic crumpling of paper.
Quietly, I entered Marlig's office without prompt as I knew he hated to be spooked by knocking. My mentor was surprisingly spry for a bird at his age, sorting through papers with one wing and an eye while using his talons with the other to set away the papers he had splayed out.
“Hileen!” he chirped. “Glad you could make it in today. I was just finishing up my paperwork. Take a seat.”
It was always nice to hear him drop the professional motif for a more grandfatherly attitude when speaking in person. I did as he suggested and took a seat while he grumbled to himself over the sorting. My eye caught a few of the old contracts he was rifling through and saw that some dated back to his days as an agent.
Eventually, he left some sitting out as he sequestered the rest back into their files, sorted by a dichotomy that only he and Nampi could comprehend fully. He motioned with a wing for me to peruse and I turned the first one to face me to find it was my first contract, signed by me in a sloppy fashion. “This takes me back a couple of years.”
“Slick bastard thought he could get away on a forklift but you showed him! Certainly more exciting than my first day!”
“Mm-hmm. And it was when I nearly got impaled that you had the idea to commission all of us utility vests.”
He chuckled, “I really should’ve done so sooner. Cuts and scratches were already a risk, but a forklift was a new one!”
I flipped through the pages of each report, finding that Marlig's notes were filled with praises of my work. There were highs and lows, but I was flattered to find that the grizzled krakotl held my performance in such high regard.
“Flawless interception!” read one footnote about me catching a runner. “Couldn't have done it better myself!”
Marlig waited patiently as I browsed quickly through each page, realizing more and more how the notes also marked improvements in my work. How I found it easier to talk down a rowdy client, or apprehend them in the case that they were beyond helping on my part. Flowery language plastered most pages with him fawning over my work as a doting father would to his prodigal child.
The trend took a sharp turn as the notes became fewer and more critical the closer the dates reached to the present. I brushed the others aside with a wing to peruse the final paper. “And this…”
“Is Tac. Your latest contract. The most recent in a line of declining performance since the interview. This has become a pattern, Hileen, and its consequences are beginning to reach beyond yourself. Paji and Vesek resigned recently for personal reasons, which leaves us even less hands on deck than before. That's four people to cover the entire municipal region, and maybe even beyond, should needs arise. Three, if we include this little probation I have you on.”
“What was I supposed to do? Marlig, these ‘jobs’ you've got us working on overstep the contracts we were signed on with. Our job is to make sure people obey their court-mandated duties, not drag them off to the facilities ourselves!”
“... So the trip we took to the facilities did bother you.”
A sigh clicked in my throat as he reminded me. “Is that what happens to the people we take in, Marlig? Is that what would've happened to your wife?”
His feathers ruffled.
“That's what happens to those who are too dangerous to the general public to be left roaming free. Not everyone we deal with winds up there, but everyone can be subject to it. Miskela sued for her exoneration and proved in court that she was not diseased. I brought you there to show you how it helps the people, but I see now that it was a mistake. I understand why you were so perturbed, really, but it's how things have been for centuries. It's how we've protected ourselves from the dangers out there.”
“You were willing to let Barsul be interned there, too.”
Marlig flinched and sighed as he swept the papers towards himself once I'd signaled I was done. He turned one eye to me while he sorted them.
“There's no room for favoritism, girl. I negotiated for him to be allowed to walk free, and look where that got me. That boy - your neighbor - suffered the consequences of my nepotism. So too would the girl, had nobody intervened.”
“Like Richard.”
“The human, yes. Or you. Or the police. Where does this sudden obsession with humans come from, anyway? I get notifications of you talking about the acceptance of them all the time on forums.”
“Does it even need explaining?”
“Well, I guess not, no, but it's certainly an about-face from the way you used to talk about them with me beforehand.”
“People can change, for better or worse. Which one I fall under remains to be seen.”
Marlig stroked at the plumage on his neck as he finished his sorting. “I hope it's the former, for your sake. Was there any reason you came to talk, or were you just checking that I hadn't gone senile?”
“Well, I was hoping to borrow your secretary for the evening.”
He perked up while his eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together with curiosity. “You… want to spend an evening with Nampi?”
“It's not what you're insinuating, but yes.”
“I was insinuating nothing,” he warbled coyly. “Go ahead and take her, and make sure to split the bill at dinner.”
“Pain-in-the-ass geezer. I'll keep in touch if your friend causes any more trouble.”
“Keep in touch regardless. Miskela and I get lonely in our old age,” he called back. “Take care.”
I stepped out into the hallway and turned toward the desk where I could hear the secretary's claws tapping furtively at her keyboard. Nampi sat silently with her ears and tail in a relaxed position that implied a bored demeanor. There was barely any response as I stood before her, waiting politely for her acknowledgment that never came.
Hesitantly, I cleared my throat.
An ear raised in acknowledgement, but her focus remained on the screen of her computer. “Mhm?”
“Do you…?”
Her ear rotated toward me, though she still maintained a passive attitude as she continued to glare mindlessly at the monitor.
“Are you free this evening?”
“Well, I'm quite booked, I believe. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised at her curt, dry tone. She hadn't spoken with me like this since we first got to know one another.
“Well,” I started. “I realized something. Every time we went out, whether it was clubbing, or dinner, or even walking around the parks, you always footed the bill. And so…”
Slowly, her other ear perked up and I saw her keystrokes slow down as she listened in.
“I wanted to return the favor?”
Her lips smacked as she opened her mouth, though paused before she spoke. “How could you possibly do that?”
“With a little gesture of friendship.”
Nampi's horizontal pupil turned up toward me and her tail twitched.
I continued, “So that belt you're wearing? It's the same belt you've worn since we first met. And I know you're the pragmatic type who'd never spend a credit more than she needs to, except for all the times you do"- her ears twitched in indignance -"I wanted to see about getting you a little something… extra?”
Her paws raised from the keyboard and she leaned in, resting her snout on her palms. “Go on.”
The bubbly venlil's tail sold out her collected facade as it twitched with anticipation. She was cornered and she didn't even know it yet.
“Well, I found just the place on the other side of town where we can start. It's a place almost as rich and indulgent as yourself.”
“The Platinum Paw? I mean3”
Her ears folded back in embarrassment as she cracked. She wasn't cut out for acting anyway.
“So that's what it's called! Jeez, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was called. Now what do you say? We go over there and find you something nice—”
I hadn’t even finished my thought before Nampi had grabbed her bag and was out the door, giving me a playful tail flick that said come and get me.

The place I suggested was in a shopping center on the opposite side of town, though easily accessible because of its proximity to the transport rails. Nampi had insisted on grabbing something to eat beforehand and so now gleefully bit into a bundle of stalks that had been “grilled” as explained from the food truck we'd stopped at.
Her tail flicked back and forth with her usual enthusiasm as we entered the massive complex of stores. The roofless plan allowed the natural, orange sun to flood the upper levels while artificial lighting illuminated the ground level wherever the light couldn't reach.
The place was built in the last decade by the previous City Magister in a bid for popularity, though ultimately for naught as he would lose the vote following a scandal involving an iftali priestess and a carved bar of soap. I had to say that despite being sick in the head, he sure had a great sense of decor.
Nampi snacked away, joining me in admiring the scenery as we continued to the place I’d planned out for us. Aimless chatter all melded together into a single, thrumming murmur as pedestrians navigated the many levels and stores offered in the place.
A troupe of children passed by us, held in a chain of tails and arms as they were escorted by a pair of venlil who I assumed were students and teachers on a school trip. I caught a whiff of a sweet, aromatic breeze and found it to come from a perfume shop on the same level as us; naturally, venlil were not to be found inside.
We passed a fountain where a couple sat on the edge, their tails twined together as they giggled and flirted. I turned and caught Nampi watching them as well, though she awkwardly returned to sucking the remains of her meal from her claws when we made eye contact. Her ears lifted when I raised a wing to signal to the store we were going to stop at first.
“Platinum Paw, The Greatest Fashion Emporium For Everyone!”
The title alone was painfully cliche, taken to the tenth power by the brightly lit store taking up three department slots. Despite the flashy exterior, though, it was the best place to shop for belts, brooches, and bracelets alike. Customers who looked like they earned my yearly salary in a week browsed the higher end brands while I brought my friend to the section I wanted to show her.
Her ears were held up as we stood together next to a shelf chock full of fashionable bags and bandoliers of every variety.
“Pick one,” I told her.
Nampi's ears shot to a straight pose in surprise, “Any?”
“Within reason. I've got a few extra credits to blow and I know nobody better to spend it on.”
With an inviting headtilt, I let Nampi peruse the shelves at her leisure. Her lips pursed together and her tail flicked with glee as she fingered at every piece that caught her eye. I chuckled at her outburst of enthusiasm while turning to find my own items to gloss over.
A breeze from outside nipped at my beak while I considered what I’d like to purchase. The place dripped with an atmosphere of faux hospitality, from the bright blue-stained floorboards to the radio prattling off advertisements in a sickeningly sweet tone to the faint, fruity aroma of scented cleaner. It was oppressive as only a fissan-owned company could be to the senses.
What I wouldn’t pay to see how a human would fare in such an environment.
I knew they were social creatures at least, but I had no doubt that the predatory senses of a human, so honed to hunting, would get overstimulated in this center of gaudy indulgence. Knowing I was something of a predator myself made me sympathize provided that even I had to squint to keep the pale lights inside from searing my eyes. I could only imagine how the arboreal eyes of a Terran would fare. I was so lost in thought imagining how lost the Terrans would be that I could almost ignore the obnoxious giggling and metallic rattling coming from behind me.
Risking a peek at the source, into my sight came a pair of venlil, one a male carrying a pair of bags as well as a couple more strapped to his belt. The bored expression in his eyes was not one of a man who was in high spirits. The other venlil was a woman who was the source of the noise.
Her mottled gray pelt was accented by a tasteful belt design, free of almost any practical functions but not flashy or excessive in garnishment either. At least, that’s what I would say, were it not for the braid of beads that dangled on the belt, jingling with each bounce of the lively woman’s stride. It was clear that such a gaudy accessory was intended to draw attention to her, though why was a mystery. Certainly, the shiny braids seemed designed as decoration first and practical second.
She turned about and I faced back to my browsing before she could catch me staring. Nampi was nowhere in sight, though I figured she was somewhere behind the shelf, sifting through every accessory on the section I'd suggested.
Clink.
Something pelted to my immediate right. I tilted my head to spot a tree nut shell clattering to the floor. Without being able to guess where it came from, I had to wonder what could've launched it over this way. Even with my keen eyesight, nobody in the crowd seemed to be a suspect.
Clink.
Another shell pelted my vicinity, ricocheting off of the floor and hitting the shelf I was standing next to. I ruffled my feathers in frustration - clearly, someone was trying to get my attention, though I couldn't make out who it was. Out of the corner of my vision, the woman from before eyed me curiously as I looked about, though I wasn't interested in engaging with her.
Thwack.
One more shell came flying and, unfortunately, the aim on this one was true, nailing me on the beak. Irritated, I stormed out of the store to find the source of the instigator. I scanned over the bodies to find anyone who could've been responsible for this indignity, eventually concluding that it came from the dining area across the walkway.
Whoever was responsible was in for an earful and I was already structuring which of the offender's family members would be acceptable as fodder for stray words. As I approached, I found the tables were mostly empty save for one, which made my heart begin to drop as I met eyes with the only occupant. Suddenly, I was much less inclined to hurl insults.
“Oh, hi there!” Qitel called out in a sickly sweet tone. “Come, take a seat! We have much to discuss!”
The Exterminator clutched a bag of tree nuts in his claws, a pile of discarded shells already gathered on the table next to him. He grabbed another as I approached, effortlessly prying the shell in half between two claws and tossed the contents into his mouth. “Good protein, these,” he commented as I sat down.
“Must be for that good arm you've got there,” I mumbled. I caught sight of a couple of bags beneath his chair, seemingly from one of the tech stores contained within the center.
“Bah, it's guesswork. So how are you? I haven't heard from you since we worked together!”
“I was just spending time with a friend, shopping and enjoying my time off.”
“Your time off? Oh, am I interrupting something?”
His snide tone irked me, though now wasn’t the time for interjections. “You are, Qitel,” I replied with no shortage of vitriol in my tone. “But I see no harm in chatting for a bit.”
“Good, because I have some merchandise”- he reached into his belt pocket and deposited a couple of items onto the table -“and you’re just the person to look into it, human sympathizer.”
I drew a terse breath in shock, but my worries were quelled when I considered that if Qitel had the power to do anything about it, he would’ve done so instead of approaching me so discreetly. A glance down at the item on the table showed that he was presenting what looked to be a tracker as well as a personal drive. “Found in the garbage,” he told me.
“The guild resorts to dumpster diving when they already have such a bloated budget now?”
“No, featherbrain, I have decided to keep this for myself. These items were found together, sealed in a plastic pouch, and placed in a garbage bin. The city has bans against electronics being placed into public bins, and so I was curious why this wound up in there. Managed to get my coworker, a techie, to crack it open and…”
Qitel reached into his belt again, glowering at me with the same condescending gaze he’d given me when I first saw his face. He seemed to revel in digging for the item as slowly as possible to waste my time. Finally, he found whatever he was looking for and revealed it as a printed piece of paper, folded into eighths. The snobby yotul threw the unfurled paper on the table and rolled it toward me.
I craned my neck to look at the parchment, though I was immediately perplexed by the text on it; it appeared to be some sort of form, going by the boxes with words on the inside, followed by blank lines. “Found on the drive, here,” Qitel told me, jabbing a claw to the storage. “Translator shows it as Terran writing.”
Drawing my holopad from my satchel, I held it over the paper with the translator to get an understanding. Surely enough, the language on it came up positive as a variant of Terran writing and I was affirmed in it being a form of some sort based on the wording of the text. The boxes seemed like an odd sort of job application, asking for the typical name, contacts, and prior work experiences, but quickly took a strange turn as it began asking for where their home on Earth was prior to arrival, what family they had on Venlil Prime if any, and where they worked, implying that they were seeking individuals who were already employed.
I knew little about human employment methods, but I didn’t imagine that sourcing individuals from other jobs was the most efficient way to gain a workforce. Terran service industries already dotted the planet while many humans also found work in local environments. So what was the angle that the creator of this application was going for?
Most concerningly was that the paper had no insignia, identifying marks, or noted address to return the form to. “And where did you find it again?”
“In the garbage, alongside this intact tracker that was activated at the time of recovery. Y’know, when I was dumpster diving. Text on the document showed it was addressed to one ‘Choctaw Nexus’.”
“A pseudonym of some sort?”
“Clearly. Short sorting through the archives shows the first name traces back to the group out east - perhaps you've heard about them. How the name and the items we have here are connected is beyond my understanding, but-”
“Well, this has been an absolutely riveting discussion about your collection of trash, Qitel,” I told him as I stood up to leave. “But this really sounds like an issue to be resolved by your fellow guildsmen.”
The sound of another shell splitting rang out as I turned away.
“I'm not through talking with you, predator.”
The sting as a piece nailed me in the back of the head prompted me to whirl back around, sticking my beak in the insolent yotul's snout. “Perhaps you've forgotten, little man,” I cooed in an equally bittersweet tone to the one he gave me before. “The krakotl never had a problem with settling issues the old-fashioned way before the interview. Try me and find out why I'm in the line of work I am.”
“Oh, we wouldn't want that in such a"- he waved his paw to a group of passersby who had stopped to gawk at my display -”public forum. Please, contain yourself.”
I had to force the feathers on my back to settle and I raised my head away from him. “What else is it you wanted, then?”
“Well, I'd appreciate if you took this merchandise off my paws,” he told me as he brushed the electronics and printout toward me.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you're closer to the humans than I'd ever care to be, and may be able to find out who this Choctaw Nexus is. Something about the package just feels… off. And I know when to trust my feelings. Besides, we both know that you know where Tac is, don't we?”
“I don't-”
“We have videographic evidence that you conspired with a human - of the aforementioned squatters, no less - and let the kid escape. You're not as sneaky as you think, and if we find this ‘Choctaw Nexus’ turns out to be a bad actor that can be traced back to them - and by extension, you - well, there’d be no talking down my boss from having you dealt with. By helping me find out who this is, you may yet be able to clear your name of any wrongdoing.”
I clenched my beak tightly to maintain a straight face. Qitel stood up with a flourish and discarded the bag he was carrying in a bin.
“See, the krakotl were never special for using threats and bullying to get results. It's because you were good at killing predators,” he jeered. “Now, if you don't mind, this primitive has appointments to attend to… old lady who got trampled courtesy of the humans and all. You stay out of trouble, Hileen, and stay in touch.”
The self-assured marsupial melded into the crowd in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a table containing dumpster trophies and a pile of shells. Reluctantly, I swept the shells into my wing and dumped them into the bin before gathering the other two items he'd left me and stuffing them into my bag. I'd been gone from Nampi long enough and she would notice my absence before long.
Crossing the walkway again, I could spot from where I stood that Nampi was indeed still in the Platinum Paw. I approached, and soon I found that while she didn't seem to have noticed me stepping away, she was definitely in a soured mood based on the sagging of her ears and tail. With my talons clacking on the floorboards, I hustled to her side and her mood chippered up ever so slightly as she heard me approach.
I chimed in, “Find anything?”
“Everything. I want everything, Red, and I can't decide on what I want. They all just look so great!”
From behind, a voice called out, “Nampi!”
We both jumped at the exclamation and turned about to spot the venlil lady I'd seen before spring from behind the shelf. The man poked his head from behind the shelf too, though less enthusiastically and with yet another bag in his clutches. My friend's eyes widened in surprise with her tail and ears perking up in kind. With a light in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Nalek!”
The two embraced with shrill squeals and laughter as Nalek's accompaniment and I traded awkward glances.
“It's been too long!”
“You never stayed in contact!”
The women exchanged giddy greetings and the pompous stranger turned to me, leering over me as though she was sizing me up.
“Who's your friend here?”
“Oh she's actually my-...”
Nampi paused for a moment, looking back to me.
“Yeah, she's a friend.”
“A friend,” Nalek repeated while her eyes flicked between Nampi and I. “Right.”
Somehow, I get the impression that that was judgemental.
“I'm Hileen, by the way,” I chirped, “if names are to be exchanged.”
“Hileen, that's a lovely name! And such plumage to match, it's a wonder you aren't swarmed by suitors!”
Internally, I groaned at the notion. The idea of being approached by someone to state their interest in me made me queasy, to say the least. Thankfully, I never had that issue growing up as most of the other drakes in school were too busy chasing girls who didn't have a lousy pigmentation mutation such as myself.
“I'm flattered,” I told Nalek before turning to the man whose name had yet to be introduced. “May we get your name?”
“Sask.”
His response was succinct and tonally flat, though there was a brief silence as I expected him to elaborate. Nalek's beads jingled as she lashed him on the calf with her tail.
“I'm Sask, Nalek's fiancée,” he added, throwing her a look to see if she was satisfied.
Nampi gasped with her paws over her snout. “Fiancée! Nalek, you're getting married and you never even told me!”
“Well, I felt a little guilty since it technically broke our pact we made when we were pups. You remember that?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? ‘Let she who bonds through betrothal first be cast out unto the world for all to admonish her!’”
Sask and I both gave inquisitive expressions. “You two spoke like that as pups?” Sask asked.
“Well, I'm paraphrasing,” Nampi admitted with a playful ear waggle. “But you get the gist.”
“Indeed, they do, sweet Nampi. Now, may I ask what you're doing bringing your avian friend here into this store on this fine claw?”
“Oh, no no, she's the one treating me! Isn't that right, Red?”
I saw her tail twitch and was sure it took restraint not to tickle my neck with it as we stood before her old friend.
“She's been a good friend,” I explained. “So I wanted to reverse the roles for once and treat her to something myself.”
Nampi skipped over to me and wrapped her arm around me, glancing back to her old friend. “See? We'd all be so lucky to have a… friend like her.”
“So I've witnessed. But perhaps you're a bit stuck, as I've seen you prancing up and down these aisles for a while, no? Maybe you don't know what you want?”
“Nalek, you know I've never been good about making my mind up.”
“Some things never change, you ditz. Tell you what: you and Sask go find us a seat and we can catch up all we'd like when we're not taking up aisle space, yes? So shoo! I'll help Hileen here pick one out for you!”
With a bored grunt, Sask made off with the goods he had strapped to himself, followed by Nampi who gave me one more playful tail flick before dashing off into the crowd. I looked back to the mottled snout of Nalek who watched her friend wander off with a wistful glance.
“She was my first, you know.”
“Your what now.”
“Love. Way back when we were growing from pups into young adults back in private education, we explored much together. We saw each other through a lot, including the less savory parts of finding a mate. When Nampi realized it wasn't the boys she was into, she turned to me, and I offered my hand as her stalwart companion… to a point.”
“You weren't interested in her the same way?”
“I'd grown up seeing her as a sister of sorts, so ultimately, when we split it off, we stayed close as friends and she never seemed to be bothered by it. She struggled to find others in school who had the same interests as herself, but she never fussed about it.”
Nalek's claws browsed over a set of pouched bandoliers made with intricate embroidering. “Have you two… spent the night together? Alone?”
Spiritually, I reeled from the inquiry. The whiplash from that question was equitable to being smacked by a human. “Wha- why? How's that pertinent to the subject at hand?”
“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” she purred with a smug glance my way.
I didn't need to begin to list the different ways such a question was violating to our privacy, and yet this woman was treating it like a game.
“Not really your concern, ma'am.”
Nalek chuckled as she picked out one of the bandoliers and inspected it with her claws. “I'd like to think that she and I still have that old connection, despite everything. And to that end, I know that she's no slag and doesn't trust easy. To see her be so vulnerable around you and to talk so highly of someone who's clearly below her income level as a predator…”
She stretched the bandolier out to appreciate the design in its entirety.
“Well, that's something special. Here"- she foisted the accessory into my wings as I stood gobsmacked -"this just screams her name.”
“This is, like, double my budget.”
“Love don't come cheap, darling. You wanna see good things happen, sometimes you've gotta step out of your comfort zone and grasp for it!”
“I'm being lectured by a rich woman on finances.”
“It's a philosophy that goes beyond money, ‘Red.’ The humans have a saying, in their horrendously predatory nomenclature, that contains a kernel of truth: ‘you miss every shot you don't take’.”
Yep, that's definitely a human phrase.
Nalek's steely braid rattled with every flick of the tail as we proceeded through the checkout.
“You want things to change between you and her?” she continued. “Don't just wait for it to happen.”
She let the conversation rest there as we finished the purchase, possibly to let me recuperate mentally from the damage done to my account. Outside, we found our respective partners sitting at a table with Sask looking up in boredom as Nampi chatted away, though she immediately shut up and turned to me with excited flicks of her tail as she saw what I was carrying.
I held it toward her and she happily shot to her feet, effortlessly removing the tags with her claws and clipping it to her belt. Nalek clapped and waggled her tail as the giddy lady did a whirl about to let us admire the accessory. While I'd have preferred one with pockets to give it a more practical use, I decided to let Nalek have the victory as our mutual friend clearly enjoyed it.
The rest of the paw was a blur as the two friends chatted without end until Sask eventually reminded his betrothed that they had a schedule to attend to. Though Nalek offered to call us a taxi home as a gesture of kindness, I saw through her ruse to determine that she was trying to pull a fast one on me - the clever ear flick she gave as we boarded the automated vehicle sold it for me.
We sat in the seats as the vehicle took the express ride home.
Nampi cleared her throat before she spoke, “Thank you for taking some time to spend with me, I know you've had a lot less free time as of late.”
“It's a prison of my own design, if I must be honest. A feedback loop of working a job that doesn't guarantee a paycheck to pay for rent that keeps going up, and thus needing to work more.”
The venlil giggled and chided me, “You really should've stayed in university.”
“There's a lotta 'should haves’ that've led me to this point. No use wondering what could have been.”
“There's always a use for wondering what could have been, Hileen.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Every decision I make, I always wonder what I could've done differently that it'd have turned out better,” she explained as she waved her free paw to the sky. “It's how you grow as a person, Red.”
Her silky pelt felt heavenly in contrast to the chilly air from outside, making it hard to let her words sink in.
“You rich types seem chock full of philosophy. I wonder if I'll become a brooding orator when I get some cash to my name.”
The cab filled with laughter as we veered around the final corner to my neighborhood, as it was the closest stop. The door popped open accompanied by a chime from the drone, signaling for me to depart.
But before my talons could even hit the pavement, I felt Nampi's scrawny arms wrap around my waist and she let out a pitiful mewl again.
“You don't need to get off here,” she told me with a pouty expression. “We can spend the rest of the paw at my place.”
“I'd love it, but I need to water my plants and get the month's bills sorted before they're due. Again.”
One claw at a time, I plucked her paws from around my waist and the childish venlil conceded, giving me another ear waggle as I departed. “I'll see you tomorrow?” I asked her.
“If you still have eyes by then, then you can bet your ass!”
“I still don't gamble.”
“You'll come around to it eventually.”
I shut the door to the taxi and watched as it carted away the one venlil who I ever truly felt on the same wavelength as. Fiddling with the lock felt like more of a chore than usual at this time as I felt a little voice tugging at the back of my head.
“You miss every shot you don't take.”
The lock felt jammed as I began to jiggle it more vigorously with the electric key. Either the RFID or NFC readers were messed up, as the lock refused to accept my key. I looked up and down the street, though Nampi was now long gone for me to rescind my earlier rejection.
“Every decision I make, I wonder what I could've done differently.”
The door rattled as I grew more and more infuriated with the lock. Qitel's smug expression as he threatened me so boldly in public played back in my head, and I wondered what would've happened had I decided to go through with insulting his mother. Better yet, I wondered what could've been had I not backed down in the face of his unflinching confidence.
Bzzt. The lock rejected my key again.
“Raagh! You fucking useless hunk of junk!”
I squawked in anger and kicked against the door, careless of the consequences of having Markol back down here to admonish another of his tenants for causing a ruckus. The walls were surprisingly sturdy for how ineffective the venlil architecture looked on the surface and I reeled back in pain as my leg throbbed.
Click.
I looked to my left to see that it wasn't my door that came open, but that of the twins. The door cracked open ever so slightly, no doubt nudged by the force of my tirade and I sighed. Nobody was expected to be home at this time, with Vili being away and Luka leaving early to get a head start.
Luka had been given a stern talking-to by the landlord for allowing one of those cats into his apartment through neglect, and I was disappointed that he seemed to have not learned his lesson this time. In fact, it seemed he hadn't even thought to lock the door this time.
I took it upon myself to shut the door for him before turning back to my own apartment door. Grasping the key with one talon, I turned it ever so gently, though the lock still refused to give in.
With a bit more force, the torsion applied to the key felt as though it should've snapped it by now. Markol sure didn't waste any expense for the security for this place, doubtlessly as a result of his history in electronic security, but I wished now that he had provided a way in that didn't rely on privately sourced locks.
Considering my options as I stood trapped outside, I realized that I had never gotten around to paying for a new lock for Tadi. I'd considered contacting her to inform her that Tac had made it out of town safely, but that'd involve also telling her that her son was now in the care of humans, as if that was a better outcome to her.
Stepping out front, I realized that there was one more option I hadn't considered: my window. I usually forgot to lock it after I was through letting air circulate and I was silently grateful to myself for this absentmindedness now more than ever. Sticking a foot on the threshold, I lifted myself in a way that'd allow me to have leverage to force the window open.
The window made me fight for every inch, but I felt a strange satisfaction as it slowly opened up into an entrance that I could squeeze my way through. I let out a sigh as my talons clicked against the cool floor and slid the window shut.
I laid my satchel on the couch and turned back to the door, ready to unleash my fury on the disobedient object. But as I reached for the lock to manually open the door, I noted that the lights on the RFID interface both flashed at once, blinking erratically. Red and green flickered without rhyme or reason, indicating that it was both active and inactive.
As pretty as the colors were, I now knew that Markol's locks were not as reliable as he had touted them about: typically, such would not occur unless the device was damaged deliberately, and yet nothing indicated that I'd had uninvited guests. One could pray that those cats didn't secretly know how to cobble together an ECM jammer, but my personal wager was on faulty equipment.
Settling in, I browsed my favorite soaps on the television. For what was intended to be a day of relaxation and show of affection for a friend, I found myself rather wound up over all the things that added up. Couples threw around flowery words and swooned over one another on screen as I felt the tension diffuse. My holopad rang and I turned it over to spot that Nampi was informing me that she'd arrived home safely.
>>> Feels empty here, all alone.
She made sure to drive the point home with a sticker of a venlil making a pouty expression.
Next time, I thought to myself, I'll get it right for you, Nampi.
[ First / Previous ]

This comparison was conducted using a sample of Xerjoff's Alexandria II purchased from Etiket, and a bottle of Montagne’s Alexander II which I received on Friday.
Xerjoff’s Alexandria II This opens with a sweet lavender rounded out with rosewood and amber. It's remarkably smooth and Just a little powdery in the beginning. I get a hint of gentle cinnamon, too. I did not getting much apple, but I do remember detecting it previously, so maybe it's the warm weather. I last wore this when there was snow on the ground. I get a light smokiness or maybe incense that isn't listed on the notes, so I'm not sure what I'm conflating, but it's my favorite part of the fragrance, combined with the oud, which does border on smelling like bandaids, but I actually enjoy that sort of oud note.
As we approach the heart there's cedar, muget, and vanilla. The amber intensifies, and the sandalwood base emerges. It's extremely powdery now. Alexandria II slowly evolves, taking its time to get where it's going. Maybe the journey is the best part for some, but I'm not a patient person.
Montagne’s Alexander II I wrote in my last review that I thought they were nearly identical, but I was wrong. The opening is different. It's not quite as smooth or powdery, it's a little sharp but starts mellowing out within a minute or two. The rosewood dominates the opening and a note I thought was perhaps some type of citrus, but may actually be green apple. It takes far less time to take its final form (an intoxicating lavender oud with a glowing aura of amber), which is great for me because I really like Alexandria II, but I don't love the opening, to be honest. Montagne's version is never quite as powdery as Xerjoff’s original can be, which may be why I am preferring it. I'm finding a little more dimension in Montagne's version. Doing the direct comparison, I was surprised because I thought they'd be closer to a 100% dupe. They are very very similar, and the Montagne version seems to embody the parts of Alexandria II that I love the best.
As I write this review, it seems as though the Montagne is getting better projection, but what I suspect is actually happening is that I'm quickly becoming anosmic to Xerjoff’s creation. I'm getting a bit more cedar from Montage, to my delight. I've worn Alexander II for the last two days at work and received more compliments than any scent I've worn to work, some from my colleagues who are discerning fragrance experts.
I've read your responses to my other reviews and will continue to compare and contrast Montagne's dupes to the originals.

I'm not sure if anyone else has had this occur. Perhaps anyone years deep on the journey (its only been 1.5 years since meeting) ?
I'm no longer resonating with the title of "twin flames" "dm" "df". Even typing it feels bleh and it kinda scared me at first not resonating with it.
But I'm fully aware of the dept of this connection. There's no denying it is this journey, with the bs that I went thru after physical separation.
Just making it clear, I know what this is. There ain't no denying it.
But when I discuss them, I don't use the dm/df titles. As I have balanced (or am currently balancing) those both in me. I'm not obsessive. Idgaf about looking them up, who they're interacting with, following, what they're doing. Nothing. Not even their friends. I just don't feel the need to do so. I don't fear them moving on. Though I really don't think they have. Theyre significantly older and don't dilly dally around like that anymore (said it was part of their mid 20s and that's where it stays) and all their friends can attest to it.
I'm the same Damn way smh....perhaps it's an introvert thing lol
But even if they were idc. I'm really focused on my own energy and they pop in occasionally and it's so warm and sweet. I welcome it and express gratitude.
But it's like I've stepped into a beautiful serene energy with life. My career has some issues and I have some family stuff resurfacing but I'm not focused on the fact that they are my twin.
I title it as a deep soul bond. Idk or care if we do reconnect...though I know it will happen somehow.
It's indifference to their old self. Which got me thinking that maybe I'm dropping the labels and indifferent because of
1) they are not super spiritual in the way I am. They're spiritual but it's not super creative, it's direct and logical. This is not a connection lable they would consider. The more I thought, I realized we had a convo when we first started dating about how this was a soul bond. Literally that phrase is what they used when I said "idk it's deep..."
2) I could not welcome in a new version with the focus of what the dynamic is "supposed" to look like. And if they have healed or are ready etc. .Those would be expectations for the sake of a title. I'd be so focused on working the ins and out, and on Google on 'what's It mean when...is it normal when...how do I maintain.... (insert dm/df/twin flame)?' I wouldn't be paying attention to the soul in front of me.
3) we are both at our highest versions and need to be ready to "re-meet" eachother. All new. We're not the same internally anymore. This would be the same body, yes, but a new relationship (platonic or romantic) and should be treated as such.
Can we reminisce, sure! But we are new loving souls. We wouldn't be falling in love with someone twice. Just loving them deeply for their growth.
I'm very interested in what this means for me in the future.
I'd be happy to answer any questions if you want to shoot them my way.
Best wishes to all twins, new and old! You've got this ♡♡♡ !.

Looking for some new artists to dig into..I love songs that have some type of repetitive beat or creative hooks. Something different..less known...?
For a few examples.. Real Bad Man & Lukah "Temple Needs Water, Village Needs Peace" has some great songs.
The Doppelgangaz are good, enjoyed Chuuwee's recent release, love Marlowe, and L'Orange's production.
Any recommends Ill check it out

After a few months of living independently (for work/academic stuffs) I’m absolutely love how the only thing that affects what happens next are my choices (working hard, people to hang out with, difficult conversations and tasks etc, trying something i wouldnt have back in my home country etc), and not “destiny” or what god has fated for me.
However since I’m still many years away from being truly financially independent and because I’ve been so used to wearing my scarf whenever I’m outside, it feels weird taking it off and walking around. Wearing it and responding to a friend’s “come drink with me” ask is funny, so is wanting to wear short skirts or crop tops and walking around knowing I might run into someone who knows the modest version of me.
Sometimes i wonder if im one of those “you left islam just to drink and do haram stuffs right” stereotyped people but it’s not like I’ve done anything “crazy” either. I don’t particularly like how alcohol tastes, and i love seafood more than any other types of meat. Tight clothes aren’t necessarily made of material that I like, and it’s hard to breathe in them. I love hanging out with my girl friends as opposed to any guy so there’s no way I’ll ever have a SO unless im arranged to someone idk. My family isn’t in this country but I still attended ramadan stuffs at the local mosque here and went for eid parties in pretty outfits though i found the sermons and fundraising stuffs here so…bizarre and hypocritical.
Point is, I think that I might as well just stay as a “muslim” just to have connections with whom i may not share a closer relationship with because of our differences in beliefs, because nobody is going to know what i pray or dont pray at home. Do I really have to make a scene about it and risk the few cherished relationships with people who are or arent muslim but knew me as someone who always wears a scarf? It’s not like people are gonna surveil me and my future partner who is hopefully as understanding. I don’t like the religion or follow the logic of the beliefs or the violence glorified in the “book for all of time” but it’s not like i have to flaunt that right?
What made you want to explicitly tell your closest social circle that youre not a muslim and were there times where you wanted to get back to the comfort of a tight knit community by saying it was just a phase even though you may not agree with the beliefs? How far have you come since then, and do you think things wouldve been different in terms of personal or professional growth had you kept mum?
I also think that Western muslims are a lot more open than people living in Asian countries (where im from) so that influences things? I’d like to know more about such dilemmas hehe