Good saying about looseing someone

:This Is A Mix Between A Vent And A Question:
sorry if this is all over the place I am half asleep as I make this
I (18 F) have not poor social skills but my shyness over powers them, I have been diagnosed with ADHD,Autism and Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder.
I have always wanted love, whether that be a friendship, companionship, or just self love I have always felt this feeling in my soul that wants to feel complete but it’s always missing, these feeling until when I was in middle school and I dated someone for the first time, I was awkward and she was very kind, and inter prospective on things and we dated for around 4 years and in those for years I felt alive, I had a friend group, I was invited to social outings, I was going on dates, even alone with my thoughts I have more motivation and completeness but then we broke up. Messed up doesn’t even begin to cover it my daydreams where were detailed on how I was gonna be this amazing person till death or something but now those memories are crowded with grim reminder on how that will no longer happen, I eventually moved on, never forgetting the memories but realizing that I have to move on cause that’s what your supposed to do. I dated another girl in the late years of high school but that only for 6 months and although the sting didn’t hurt like the first one it still cut deep she was so funny and humorous, they both had some similarities but there differences and there deep thoughts about everyday life is what drew me to them, and this brings me to where we are now, it has been a year and quite frankly I’m scared l, mostly cause graduation is starting up and my fear of being alone and just that there’s nothing exciting to look forward to. I have noticed that I am rereading old texts trying to get that feeling I had but it’s not as strong, my daydreams are taking control over my life but they aren’t sexual, all they are is just simple things, cooking together, have a convo in a restaurant l, making each other laugh, giving gifts etc. But how do I feel that wanting that belonging again, as I write this I am alone and afraid, I lost those friends, I lost that motivation and self belonging and most importantly I lost them, the only thing I can say is I hoped they moved on and found what they were looking for.
That’s all sorry if it’s all over the place but thanks for getting this far

I'll try to keep this as straight to the point as possible, although I admit I am STRESSED OUT and probably overthinking:

• I have a male cat, PW, who is about 10 years old. He's lived with other cats multiple times before (used to live in NYC/move frequently); never did a formal introduction process and never had any issues or fights.
  
• My partner has a female cat, H, who is about 8 years old. As far as we know, she's never lived with other cats. She is generally a very anxious and insecure cat, for example she struggles to eat without someone standing next to her at her food dish.
  
• For about 2 weeks, PW was staying in the second bedroom at my partner's old apartment, and we tried introducing them through the door at mealtimes. H would hiss at and stare through the door, and lunged at it once, but was able to tolerate eating with the door gap uncovered. PW was calm and non-reactive and responded to H mostly with curiosity and/or trepidation. We also did some scent swapping for short periods of time and began using Feliway plugins.
  
• For the last 4 weeks, we have had them separated in our new home. For week 1 and week 2, the cats were separated in their own bedrooms, and would have designated times to explore the rest of the house. During this time period H would antagonize PW through the door gap, and dragged away towels that we used to block the door. We stopped doing mealtimes at the door (not sure if this was a mistake?) and focused on scent swapping. There was an altercation; we didn't see what happened but H had been exploring the house and antagonized PW through the door gap, and he was able to scratch her paw, causing light bleeding. We got draft stoppers that velcro to the doors after this, so H can't detach them.
  
• After week 2, we made a "cat area" in the basement and have had the cats on separate floors, swapping 2-3 times a day. However since we are rarely in the basement, the cat downstairs will frequently meow or paw at the door. They both seem less stressed overall not being trapped in a single bedroom, but we're concerned that they may be feeling resource competition over our attention/time. We do play with and feed the cats downstairs, but it's nowhere near 50/50, and only one cat can be upstairs overnight to sleep with us (which both cats are accustomed to.)
  
• Another incident occurred when we were not present, and PW was somehow able to knock the basement door open. We're not sure how things started, but when we got downstairs PW lunged and pounced on H, and sliced up my partner pretty bad when he got between them. It was around dinnertime and I suspect PW was hungry and irritable, H was antagonizing him through the door, and he was able to lunge at her when the door bumped open. She was not injured but was clearly very afraid.
  
• After weeks of her hissing at him, PW is now much more reactive to H than he seemed to be previously; H also seems increasingly anxious about PW after these altercations. We still haven't been doing shared mealtimes and are focusing on scent swapping and getting them to stop antagonizing each other through the door.
  

My questions:

• Is using food/mealtime actually a good way to get them to calm down with the door scraps? It feels notable to me that they're more likely to antagonize each other this way when they're hungry. Even though there was some hissing when we tried it before, H was able to eat with PW around, and I feel like re-introducing positive mealtime associations would be a good thing. My partner is concerned about "pushing it" and making things worse so I'm not sure what the right move is.
  
• How do we make having them on separate floors less stressful for them? Personally I think we should get more toys and cat trees for the basement to make it more exciting; right now there's a scratching post, some shelves to jump on, a few comfy seats, a TV (which I try to put cat TV videos on as often as possible) and a toy on a string, but nothing the cats can really play with on their own. I think this would make a big difference, is there an inexpensive way to further cat-ify the basement?
  
• How do we actually get things moving in a positive direction?? I'm having such a hard time not being discouraged by the fact that it feels like in the last 6 weeks, we've only been moving backwards. I would really like to figure out how to start making positive associations and helping them get along, because I am seriously stressing myself sick about keeping them separated and avoiding another (worse) fight.
  

I'm currently in court proceedings because social services took my family to court because I asked for mental health support after my son was born. This was in Feb BTW Lately my wife has been going on about divorce so at least one of us are with our son (social services think I'm going to kill my son because of my mental health) but she won't listen when I tell her it will mean I won't be allowed to be in both there lives
So we get on to the problem of the day (19th of may) she's at her sister and had weed, she messaged me saying I need to go find some girls online and flirt with them because and I quote "get a gd time" from one of them (she's been messaging a handful of dudes that have openly admitted to just wanting to fuck her one being an ex that raped her that she's going out drinking with soon) We go back and forth for hours and I eventually just ask "Are you giving me a free fuck pass because you feel guilty or because you want one in return" and she said both We again ho back and forth but this time arguing and it ends on "goodbye[wife's name] I think we need to talk about this properly when your not high, I think you should stay at your sisters tomorrow" but then she goes off on me saying "fuck you thennnnnn, just fuck off already if you want to leave so bad"
I don't know what I've done and how to fix it I don't want a divorce, I want my family but do I still have a family anymore? If she feels guilty and wants a free fuck pass did she flirt too hard with someone and catch feelings? Does she even love me anymore I'm nothing without them and sadly that's not even being dramatic, everything in my life since I met my wife became centred around her, once my sone was born (this year jan) it was all about them 2, I've burnt so many bridges with family,friends I even quit work because she disliked my manager. I can't loose them but feel I already have.
Idk if this post will be my last as I'm about to go outside for a cig and maybe sit in the road. I hope all of you get where you need to be in life, I appear to have lost my place in it

Hello. So I (20f) gave a cute guy my number. He instantly texted me and we texted back and forth for a few hours. On day two he literally invited me out with him for a shopping/hangout day. I couldn’t go because of a doc appt, but offered another weekend we could go. So, over that time, we would still text. He never really texted first, but when I did he would always respond pretty quick. Then, the Sunday of the week of the hangout, I told him that I knew we didn’t really know each other and it was no pressure to hang out. He agrees and says that he still wants to go, though, but just as friends. He added that he didn’t want me to go into this thinking it’s something it’s not. I’m a little crushed, but hey, we’re still going out. So, he literally offered to pick me up from my house and take me out still. He comes to my door and is very polite. He wouldn’t take the gas money I offered even though he drove alot. We had a good day, but didn’t eat or shop too much. Now it’s been two weeks, and we barely text. If we do, it’s not bad, but it’s not like it used to be either. He’ll respond in an hour or under, and ask about me. Being polite. I finally asked to hang out with him, which he said that he would have the check his schedule and he’d let me know. It’s been a week. We’ve texted since (with me of course initiating the convo). He hasn’t mentioned it. I don’t know if he’s just lying to spare my feelings or what. I just wanna plain ask him what’s going on, but in a polite way. Yes I know he doesn’t owe me anything. I just need some advice. I appreciate it. ❤️

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had advice. I find myself wanting to text an old friend who I cut off. She wasn’t a good friend but I know she doesn’t have any other friends and I know how lonely it is having no one so I was gonna text her and say are you okay
But she would judge me a lot despite the fact I would have considered her a best friend but she would talk shit about me and her actions would not the way a best friend would behave. Although I still care about her and want to know if she’s okay but then again does she even care about me and am I being stupid
Am I even being selfish, as if I need to know for my own peace of mind if she’s okay and get her hopes up that she’s in the friend group again

I have been jobless for the last 3 months and now I'm loosing myself because I can't find a job. Can someone share any legit site that I can apply for a job please? I am a computer person, I have done web development and IT support. I'm also good at data analysis ( though I have not worked in this area). I am average at designing and editing ( using adobe Photoshop, canva and adobe premiere) I'm a fast learner and always ready to learn new skills. I am very adaptable, self driven and dedicated.
I will appreciate any suggestions or support. Thank you!

I'm in my 30s, nonbinary, not religious at all. I live in the US, specifically Illinois. My family is very Catholic and I had a lot of religious trauma growing up. Every time someone in my family has passed, they have had a Catholic wake & funeral at the Church where I went to elementary school.
I don't have any real assets. I rent a 1 bedroom apartment, live in a big city so I don't have a car or anything. Almost all of my stuff is bought secondhand or given to me, and I don't make enough money to leave any kind of inheritance outside of my life insurance through my workplace. I don't have kids or a partner, and I don't plan on ever having kids if I do have a partner.
Outside of chronic pain, I'm in pretty good health and don't see myself getting naturally deleted from life any time soon. However, in the event of like, an accident or something, I want to write up something that says how I want my body to be taken care of, that I don't want a Catholic service, and since I've legally changed my name, I don't want to be deadnamed during the service (this isn't something I can really control, but I think putting it in my will would make my family/friends be more mindful of how they talk about me in the past).
Does anyone know where to start? It looks like a lot of these services are meant for people who have houses and a lot of money or kids and such. Can I just...write up something and have it notarized or something? Do I need a lawyer? How much should I expect to spend on this costwise?

Last night, my friend invited me (19f) to her house for a bonfire. For the first few hours it was just the two of us, but around midnight her neighbor and his friends came over. They were all drinking and smoking weed, but I told them I didn’t do that and they were fine with it, but they asked why. I told them it was because of religious reasons, and it ended up with them asking me a lot of questions about Christianity. But when I said I was Catholic specifically, one of them started bashing the faith, saying we worship Mary, etc. He went on to say that I was a bad Christian because I was hanging around a bunch of people drinking and smoking weed, and if I were a good Christian, I would have tried stopping them from doing it and spread the Gospel. Keep in mind, he was both drunk and high.
While I know he wasn’t sober, what he said got me thinking. Is it wrong for me to hang around people who are smoking/drinking, even if I’m not doing it? I’m very grounded in my faith and I know I would never try it, but is it a near occasion of sin? I generally would not hang around this group of people, but my friend asked me to stay because she would have felt uncomfortable being the only girl.
Also, am I wrong to think it would have been a terrible time to try and talk people out of drinking and smoking? I feel that it certainly would have pushed them even farther from the faith, and me discussing my faith was spreading the Gospel in a way. Because they asked, I explained why the church teaches insobriety is wrong, and (aside from the rude one) they were all very respectful and understanding.
Thank you in advance!

Believe it or not, there was a time when people actually talked to each other—shocking, especially for the younger generation, right?
But kidding aside, there's a grain of truth in that jest. I'm a firm believer that genuine connections start with meaningful conversations. I'm on the lookout for someone who appreciates the beauty of communication as much as I do.
About Me: I'm the kind of person who finds joy in learning about people from all walks of life. Whether it's through the pages of a book, the scenes of a movie, or engaging in conversation, there's always something to discover about the human condition. I believe in making every moment count.
I've been told I have a knack for turning ordinary conversations into something a bit more exciting. If you enjoy a good laugh, playful banter, and a dash of charm, we might just hit it off.
I'm searching for someone who knows how to keep a conversation interesting. If you appreciate witty banter, love sharing your favourite cheesy jokes, and aren't shy about throwing in a compliment or two, you might be the one I'm looking for.
If you're ready to embark on a communication adventure filled with laughter, curiosity, and a hint of flirtation, send me a message. Let's see where our conversation takes us and if we can make each other's day a little brighter.
About You:
I do have a type. Currently working on my overall fitness journey during bouts of depression (somewhere between fit and dad bod?). I'm looking for a partnesub who is somewhat in shape or thin. Apparently, someone once told me that I have a thing for dark-haired women with big lips—go figure!
A bit about me: I'm pretty open, dark-skinned, 5'7, black hair, brown eyes, working in IT. Feel free to bounce ideas off me to see if there's a match. I enjoy wordplay, encouragement, and, of course, seeing you. Intellectual stimulation is crucial, and effort goes a long way. Currently learning guitar for fun (what a journey!). I'm pretty much an open book.
If any of this resonates with you, don't hesitate to reach out. Pouring yourself out there isn't easy, but to make sure you've read this far, please include your favourite drink or any books you've read lately in your message!

Meanwhile at the office party.....
The female thinks to itself, she made sure to where the most revealing clothes possible, she decided this day shed try to please the penises of as many men as she could... hopefully married ones.
She finds one and asks him if hed like a quick blowjob in the parking lot, her personality detector reveals he must have an amazing personality.
" i can tell you have a good personality therefore i will pleasure your penis and never speak to you again." she tells the man.
"ok awesome" he says, it isn't his first time having his penis sucked by random women.
After 15 minutes he begins telling her he's about to finish
"IM COOOOOMING kyakakakakakakakkakakakak!!! YOOOOOOOOOOWIE!" and she swallows every bit of it because of his awesome personality, she goes back inside the office with personality detector in hand.
This happens all the time and yet it’s impossible for us to make even a friend in this cold world. SHIT!!

Hi everyone, current 2T7 ECE here. I thought I would make a quick post on a guide to first year engineering, listing out all the stuff I wish I knew before coming to university. The first semester portion is applicable to all engineering disciplines, the second semester portion would be more useful to ECEs, T1, Indie and Mechs.
First Semester Courses:
MAT186: This was by far the hardest course for me and the entire cohort (C average). Even though I knew all the concepts of the course beforehand (through AP Calc BC and A-levels) this was my worst course. The reason for this was because the course focuses on testing theory (your understanding of the nitty gritty) rather than on computation. My advice for this course would be to make sure you work on written hw with friends (impossible to do alone), and do every single tutorial worksheet (exam questions are exactly like tutorial worksheets). Sean Upall was the course coordinator, and even thought I didnt like his lectures, I think it prepares you the most for the final exam.
MAT188: This was my favourite course even though it probably took up most of my time. This course was completely new to me, which is why I took a lot more time understanding the Pre class essentials. There is a lot of "theory" in this course, which will take a while to learn, so spend a good amount of time understanding and learning the PCEs. One reccomendation to make this process of learning faster is to watch 3blue1browns essence of linear algebra series. Watch the video corresponding to the upcoming weeks concepts before reading the PCEs. Written HW was hard (not as hard as calculus) so do it with friends, the gateway exams are a bit of a joke since you can retake them, and if you practice them enough you realize theres a pattern in the answers. Midterms and Final exams actually test at an appropriate level, so as long you have a strong grasp of the concepts you will be fine. If professor Cameillia is teaching the course go for her lectures, she is by far the best (she is also the course coordinator).
CIV100: This was a very interesting course, it needs a lot of practice of past papers. Literally you'll need to grill through past papers in order to succeed in this course. The final exam is such that there are 5 questions and you have 30 mins per question. Each quesition is quite hard which makes the exam very time pressured, so again PRACTICE. The quizzes in this course are dependant on your lecturer, some profs give easy quizzes whilst others give hard ones, this is out of your control. In my opinion the best lecturer was Professor Merjan, she was probably the best lecturer I've had in my time here at UOFT. The only problem is that she teaches the course in a different timeline than other profs, so you probably cant change lecturers cuz quiz material is different between different profs.
APS110: As an ECE I still dont know why I had to take this course. Overall, it was taught quite well. Scott Ramsay is the best lecturer for this course, although basically everything he says is already in the textbook (which is why I did not attend lectures). The Textbook is more than enough for this course. The Final exam for our batch was quite difficult compared to past year exams, but I think I did well because I practiced quite a few past papers.
APS111: Contraty to public opinion, I thought this was one of the most fun and useful courses in first semester. I had quite a sh*t team, but managed. Make sure you look at the rubrics for each assignment before you start writing. Also the way this course works is that you have to submit individual and group assignments which are essentially these long documents. Because they are doucments, they are marked in a qualitative way as there is no right answer per se. Make sure you bombard the person who is correcting the assignment with questions so that you nail exactly what they are looking for.
Second semester courses
MAT187: This is calculus two and it was much better than Calc one. Professor Camelia was the course coordinator, so just like MAT188 the exams were all at an appropriate level. Written HWs again requires help from friends. I mainly studies for this course using the PCEs, and practiced the tutorial worksheets. Some of my friends used the textbook, but I dont think its really required. The best prof for this course is any lecture seciton containing Camelia.
MIE100: For some reason, our year was probably the first year in a long time where the exams for this course were not insanely difficult. They were all at an appropriate level, apparently because they wanted to increase the number of people going into mech eng 💀💀. I found professor Sinclair to be quite good, a lot of people liked Howard Ho as well (trust in Howard Ho). The Wiley plus questions are useful to do to keep up with concepts, but the difficulty of the questions in wiley was way harder than the exam questions, so I wouldnt say its a must to do them ethically.
APS105: Great course. If you have a background in coding, this course will be a breeze at least up until reading week, you'll have to spend more time on it after that. The course is such that 30% of your grade is from labs, so make sure you do them well. the other 70 percent is from exams, which are at an appropriate level once again. Just make sure that you do a lot of past papers as practice. Professor Emara is by far the best, and is amazing if you are new to programming. If you have experience, reading the textbook (Snefru) is more than enough to understand the content.
ECE110: In our batch, while I didnt find the exams difficult, the batch's average after the second midterm was about 51%. After the final exam, they curved the course up quite a bit, I think the average is now a B, also an easy final exam helped out. The first half of this course is more theoretical (electrostatics and electromagnetism) and the second half is circuit analysis. Make sure you do all the Wiley Plus questions for this course, as sometimes they ask the same questions in exams. All the lecturers for this course are pretty bad, but Professor Mojahedis notes are legendary (in my opinion), other people didnt like them because it explained the concepts using proofs. Other profs notes would just state the formula.
APS112: Continuation of APS111. My team was much better this time. Same advice for this course, as APS111. Also make sure you're on top of things because it goes by much quicker in this course as there are way more assignments. Nothing really much to say to be honest, the midterm was a bit screwed up because there are multiple right answers and you have to choose the best one.
Overall for grades, dont worry too much. As long as you get around an 80 for exams and get all the free marks for assignments you'll be on track for at least an 80+ in the course. Remember that university isnt just about studies though, try and indulge into extracurriculars and be social.
Extracurriculars:
Design teams: UOFT has a plehora of design teams for you to choose from. Some design teams are better than others, but the only way that you will actually get deep into the design teams is if you put in the work. Beg leads for tasks, and do them to demonstrate interest. You can also demonstrate interest by doing really menial tasks as well. The point is you need to make sure the leads know you are willing to do tasks, and have showcased that you are worth giving the tasks to. Overtime, depending on the design team you may have to make a choice between grades and the team, thats up to you. Grades dont matter much unless you want to do a masters degree.
Clubs: For these try getting a lead position, a lot of them offer positions in the summer so make sure you follow them on instagram (e.g. engineers without borders, IEEE, etc). Again, you get what you put in to the club.
Intramurals: I loved playing intramurals at UOFT. However, the team that you play for depends on the people you know. For e.g. the SKULE team isnt great for soccer, and if you want to join a better team then you need to know someone on that team. So try networking lol.
Social life:
This was something that I personally struggled with at least initially at UOFT. I gave way too much time to studies, which really isnt worth it. UOFT is way easier than people make it out to be (I'm not being arrogant, and I'm not someone who's gifted in intellegence). As long as you manage your time, you will be fine. Anyway in first year most people would go to frats, and I would reccomend trying it out at least once. Go in the first weeks of school as thats the easiest time, and will also allow you to make new friends. Make sure to know a lot of people, at least at the surface level at the start, as that will make things easier for you in the long run and will also help you find the people you like to hang out with.
Summer after first year:
In my opinion do research if you want work experience, then step up to an internship next summer. If you want to relax thats a good option as well, just try doing some courses and build up some skills for sure.

I’m extremely confused if this guy I know likes me or not. I do have a small crush on him bc he’s really cool to talk to, so idk if I’m delusional or if it’s real. I’ll call him A.
This one time A was just sat for like 2 minutes in a room I was in as well chatting with friends. But after his friends left and he asked me random questions about movie recs and we proceeded to talk about our interests for like half hour. His friend showed up in between and I didn’t want to interrupt but A tried to keep involving me in the conversation and asking me for my opinion.
Another time he was speaking to someone on the phone but defo sounded like he wanted to end the call bc he kept on saying he was tired. But then after he hung up he spoke to me for a good 20 minutes before he left.
He also compliments me quite a bit and I do too
Anyways, my friends tell me he might be into me. But i don’t know.

I have moved from my small home town to a city and left my partner and my dog whom I really love. We have been together for 3 years. (I’m 22 he is 27) I’m now living with my brother and his missus in Sydney. They kindly let me live in their spare bedroom. I wanted to leave my home town because I wanted to be closer with family (my family lives here except for my dad) as well as seeing what it is like to live away from my home town, I got kind of sick of living in my home town and just wanted to spread my wings a little. I just had this itch to do so. Just needed a change. Maybe try and find myself a career or a job that’s not cleaning. I felt like it would be good for my self confidence. I was unemployed for the first month but then finally got a job as a Dental Assistant trainee. I’ve only been working since middle of March. It is a 45 min drive to and from work and I’m only getting paid $23/hr 3-4 days a week. It’s actually such a shit job tbh with you. I’m really struggling with it all financially, I just got my car serviced and there’s like 10 things wrong with it and if I get it fixed I will be paying more than what it’s worth. On top of that I feel so stressed more than ever living here in sydney. The more I live here the more I hate it. I’m depressed as well. I don’t know what I want to do as a career, I am lost. I have no direction in life or passion for anything. People my age have already completed their uni degree and are making 6 figures. Thinking about moving back in with my boyfriend in my home town but don’t know what that will bring me for my future. He reckons we will put our money together and buy a house? How is that even possible when houses are $1M. I don’t have any skills other than cleaning and working in a fish and chip shop. I’m so hopeless. How would I be able to support him financially as well if I can’t support myself? My family is against me moving back there because they see no future for m in the small town and with that guy. Let’s be honest when I was having fights with him I would go to my sister or brother to vent. And it’s probably made him look like a bad guy. He’s a good guy. Because I vented to them about him, they may be biased if I asked for dating advice. I feel this tug of war between my family and my boyfriend. But I feel like if I would be moving back, it would be out of guilt and a “give up” on myself. He s probably going to be like I told you it wouldn’t work out and you didn’t listen to me. Another huge hit to the self esteem. I have experience childhood trauma with a broken family and it’s like I’m reliving it because I’m torn between people and places. I remember when i was a kid I would feel guilty being with one parent and vice versa. I feel so shit about myself and like a complete failure. I just don’t know what to do. People say that people end up like their parents and my boyfriends dad is very narcissistic and he literally tells you that he is better than everyone and smartest. He’s pretty cluey though. Also a womaniser. I do see a lot of his dad in my boyfriend. My gut is telling me that he’s not the right person to marry. But living here in sydney is giving me so much stress. Maybe I cut ties with everyone and move to another city? But I feel like no matter where I go my depression will follow me. I have no friends or unbiased family to ask advice. Bf is putting a timer on and saying he’s not going to wait for me and just stick around for me to fall back on if things don't work out. that is how he said his feeling. i feel like a terrible partner for making him feel this way. i would be letting down my siblings and family if i go back to my home town and live with him. what is the right thing to do? I have no clue. I’m literally sitting here in my room like a red hot mess.. people would probably think I’m on crack, haven’t slept.

I bought some raw chai honey from a local vendor today and I’m interested in using it in place of the organic processed honey I’ve been using in my protein brownies and energy bites. The woman in the booth said she only uses raw honey as a finisher when she’s cooking things like vegetable dishes, so she couldn’t say how it would work in baked goods.
Does anybody have any experience using raw honey in baking? It has a very creamy texture to it and I’m just curious if I this will change the taste or texture of the brownies at all. The energy bites are mostly oats and peanut butter, so I’m not as worried about that.
Thank you!

We got into a fight, not ideal but it was over text. We hadn’t had the exclusivity talk but it was heavily implied from the beginning that after physical intimacy it would be exclusive. At the very beginning of the relationship his first few words were “I’m not going anywhere unless you do.” And I talked about how I’d just been played into being physically intimate just to be dumped not too long before. I found out he was still dating other girls, he never mentioned it to me. I flew off the handle and sent a few paragraphs. I gave it 24 hours and sent an apology about my behavior whether I was angry or not I didn’t need to act that way and I didn’t communicate from the beginning either. I didn’t call him names, I just grilled him. He refused to answer any of the questions I had the only thing he said was I wanted you to say we were exclusive.
He’s left the messages on read, no explanation, no telling me he needs space just silence. It’s been about 2 days total now I’m not going to text him again. This is the second time we’ve had a miscommunication and he’s gone completely silent. First time wasn’t nearly as bad but the only thing he hit me up for was to “come over”.
I’m completely okay with giving time, but how long would y’all take to cool off? Would you tell someone you want to stick around you’re taking time? I don’t like avoiding conflict it’s unsettling in my eyes. I understand everyone deals with conflict differently. He isn’t me, but after a few days of complete silence I really feel if theres no effort to resolve the situation or at least say I need more time for this it’s probably best to go our separate ways.
Thoughts? Appreciate you.

I know that im not anyone important and that my opinions wont get passed to gaijin or gain much traction but its interesting to share. I know most everyone here probably understands the controversy surrounding the SK tech tree and vehicles on which nation they should be assigned to, some say japan some say america some say an independent tech tree. Personally i believe its deserved to go to japan but before yall all crucify me i have my reasons:

1. Geographical proximity: first and most important reason, while some may pass this up as insignificant look at some other sub trees in the game like Italy and Hungary, they have no connection outside being members of the axis and being in close proximity.

2.Historical ties: again some say that this is a reason as to why they shouldnt be together but again look at other in game examples: the british t90 which originally people criticized but now some thing its a good addition which diversified british high tiers, the polish leo, yes the leo is a german vehicle which is understandable why it would go to germany but ive also seen people ask for polish vehicles such as the pt91 go to germany and other polish vehicles which have no correlation to germany. Both these examples have the same bad history as japan and korea yet they are still added and have been great additions.

1. Overall game balance and enjoyment: Probably the most important reason is just to balance out and make the game more fun. Look at the japanese tech tree, theres little to no more unique domestic vehicles that can be added that arent slight different variants of their already existing mbts. The slow addition of thailand is hopefully gonna change that and with korea it definitely will. Ive seen people preach about how Korea should go to america or even france because they used their tech for vehicles such as the k1/2 (and dont say that means they should 100% go to them because look at the german aircraft used by romania and hungary during ww2, where are they? oh right, italy) but both the us and france have huge amounts of domestic vehicles and dont need korea, japan does.

Overall it just boils down to the most important aspect, giving japan players some actual content, all the other nations that i see arguments for korea have their own vehicles they get or could get for updates but this would give japan some much needed content and balance plus remember its just a game we dont need to look at politics when adding vehicles just what would make the game more fun(in before the “this is war thunder it cant be fun” comments)

I had watched this movie once when it came out, then again just the other day with a friend. And we were discussing the ending, pitching to each other what we thought about meant. As it show's 3 similar scenes with different outcomes, the middle outcome being him committing suicide.
At first I looked at it as a passage of time montage, so my take that he continued to life his life normally for a while, then decided he couldn't do it any longer, and finally we get a glimpse of his version of the afterlife. Which I don't think is necessarily the worst interpretation. But with the last image of the movie being Petra smiling in a white background, it didn't feel as a particularly satisfying interpretation.
So then I finally decided to give up and search for what other people thought coming to this fantastic analysis by The Love Pirate, in which he or her or they? say this " She gives him a final kiss and leaves, and we see three possible endings for Zimit, each beginning with him walking down the hall to his office and taking a seat at his desk. First, he simply opens his lunch and eats a sandwich, going on with his life as normal. In the second one he pulls a gun out his drawer and we hear a gunshot, the assumption being that he ended his life rather than go on without Petra. In the third, he sits at his desk and has a vision of Petra smiling, symbolizing that he might have learned something from her in this final class and is following her example."
That last sentence stuck in my mind, and I began to think "what if it's deeper than that?" I started thinking about how there were 3 doomsday scenarios, and 3 endings for Zimmit. And was trying to figure out if there was a parallels for each of the endings and each iteration of the thought experiments. And this is what I came up with when re-examining the final scenes of the movie based on the inspiration of The Love Pirate.
After Petra give Mr. Zimmit her goodbye kiss , both of them relax on opposite sides of a wall. Petra staring ahead, while Mr. Zimmit leans his head into the wall, as if he does still love her and explains the etymology of the word Apocalypse. "To uncover what you couldn't see before, a way out of the Dark."
The entire movie so far has been Mr. Zimmit trying to convince Petra time and time again using logic that James isn't the best decision for her to make as a life choice. He acts over attached, and petty about being broken up with, and has been hyperfocused on getting her to see things from his perspective.
When Mr Zimmit is explaining it,he's humbly and sheepishly apologizing for his behavior, but also thanking Petra for helping him out of his selfish mindset. He didn't stop to think about living life from anyone else's philosophy other than his own that was ruled by cold hard logic.
To which Petra replies, "Your sweet talk still needs work." A playful jab, but it's clear she doesn't hate him or demonize him for what he had done that day. In a way she's even saying with a little work, he'd still get be capable of being happy in life even if it's not with her. It's a student becomes the teacher moment when he replies. "I'll work on that."
In that last line Petra reassures him that he's a very good teacher. She had learned a lot from him and is grateful for the experience despite the lows, she still values him greatly.
At this point, what I think is happening, Erik Nimmit on the spot starts running himself thru the three scenarios using Petra's philosphy, a basic test of empathic thinking.
He walks up the stairs , sits in his office and takes a bite out of his sandwich, but he's thinking about the conflict that drove them apart in the first thought experiment. Petra couldn't trust him. From her perspective he executed everyone who didn't make the cut for the bunker with no witnesses. He identified as a wild card, and even though Petra was using the emotion of fear to make that decision, It was still a logical decision to make.
Him eating the sandwhich is him envisioning himself the outcome of being an untrustworthy partner. Alone in his office living life day to do without someone. The consequence of who he is inside.
He walks up the stairs, this time retrieving a handgun from his drawer and ending his life. The parallel to what he had done in the second iteration would be the likely outcome of if Zimmit used that same brutal logic in real life. If his logic would compel him to force people to have multiple partners , sleep with someone who wasn't all that keen on them to sleep with him, or force gay people to sleep with people they weren't attracted too. His logic would make him so ugly even to himself that he'd end his life.
Finally Mr Zimmit walks up the stairs, and closes his eyes. Remembering Petra. I no longer thing that this was some after life vision. But him thinking about her being happy in her future life. The white backround doesn't seem ethereal... it seems cold, and she's wearing a sweater.
In the third scenario Petra fully takes over the thought experiment, She says, In my apocolypse no life is more valuable than another. Logic alone can not make your life more meaningful, contrasting to one of the the first statements Mr. Zimmit makes in the movie. That most people are nutters by the age of 40. He had spent the entire movie looking down on people with a lower intellect, or different sexualities, or their life circumstances or situations, In a way to make himself more attractive to Petra. And finally he realized how ugly it made him, and Petra was the one who taught him that. Now he could finally move on, and be happy for her future even if he wouldn't be in it.
But I'd love to hear from any other fans of this movie , do you think i'm onto something here?

my friend (18 f) has been sending me (18 f) mixed signals since fall last year and it dont really know what to make of it. for context, ive been and out lesbian since middle school and i met this girl at the beginning of junior year through one of my childhood friends. I sat with my childhood friend and her friend group for lunch because she offered and i didnt have anyone else to sit with. throughout the year i got close to all of them and they ended up being my main friend group that year and me and this one girl especially got close. we just really hit it off and were really good friends. that summer i had this group over a couple of times and we hung out a bunch. my timeline of all the important events to the story are kinda janky but im gonna do my best to them in order. summer rolls around and everything is fine, me and this girl get even more close and were basically texting everyday about random stuff, just being friends. it isnt until senior year started that everything started being weird. when i got my schedule for the year i realized i had none of my friends in any classes, i didnt know anyone so i didnt see that group during the day but we all talked and stuff outside of school. she held a halloween party every year and i went, me her and my childhood friend went to a pumpkin patch, normal stuff. some time passes and one night in novemeber we get to texting. we had been doing this thing for a few weeks where shed ask me for a movie recommendation and live text me as she watched it. so were watching the movie and texting and somehow the conversation took a turn to the topic of relationships. she was just venting to me about all her insecurities and fears when it comes to talking to people and i was offering m support, me and my friends vent to each other all the time so it was pretty normal. she had identified as bi for as long as id known her but had beeing talking about how she thought she was only attracted to men and that all the girls shed either liked or pursued she envied or was jealous of in some capacity. i told her i totally understood and was offering as much support as i could having very similar experiences with me. as the convo went on i started giving more input not wanting to seem uninterested to i started telling her some of the things im insecure about in relationships (i have zero experience when it comes to this stuff, ive never even talked to a girl before but i still have my issues) and everytime i listed one, she would say something like 'but i like that in a person'. the first time i didnt think much of it but it became a pattern after the next 5 times and soon after that she sent the message 'if only you were a boy or i liked girls'. i think its self explanatory as to why thats shitty but it didnt really bother me in the moment, i thought it was weird but i dont think it had hit me. soon after that night, wed gone to my childhood friends birthday party and everything was fine. the next weekend she asked me to go to six flags with her, and the way she worded it made it sound like it was gonna be a group thing but it ended up being just us. it was a pretty normal hangout, i mean there was an appropriate amount of awkwardness but we both just really enjoyed each others company. i went to the school musical to see her and a couple of my other friends about a month after that but she gradually stopped texting and i stopped texting first and we didnt talk from january to march after that. then after two months of no communiction, she invited me to her birthday pool party. now forgive me if im reading too far into this, but seeing someone for the first time in months while youre all half naked is kinda weird, no? anyways i go to the party and its very awkward. i hadnt seen anyone all year especially her and i just tried to make the best of the situation. that night we had our first convo since our 'hiatus' and i ended up watching a movie she reccommended. few days after that, we started talking semi regualry again and i told her i missed talking to her because i did and we just kinda caught each other up on stuff that had happened since we last talked. we went to another party for another one of our friends and stayed up to listen to the new taylor swift album together but its evident we arent as close or as comfortable as we used to be. prom rolls around and she makes dinner reservations for our group, one of our friends gets a last minute date and she makes a big deal over adding him so late bc it was a hassle but added someone upon my request immediately. prom night she also avoided eye contact with me a bit at dinner and i didnt see her a whole lot at the dance itself. the last few songs i was with her and a couple of our other friends singing and dancing (she wouldnt make eyecontact with me at all while we were btw) and to my surprise, when all walked off and one of the last slow dances started she asked me to dance. i said yes because why not, its prom and we danced. it wasnt anything weird or awkward, it was actually really nice. after the dance, our whole big group went and hungout at her house after and she didnt really acknowledge me. like usually when shes avoiding me i can tell, but she just didnt even acknowldge my existence really. its the day after, prom was last night and i don't really know how to feel. i guess im just askinf for advice on what to make of this or whether i should ask her about any of this? i dont really know.

Throwaway account, don't want it to be linked to mine. So my wife (32F) and I (34M) had an agreement in place that as soon as we had kids she'd stop working completely and rely only on my income for her and the family's needs. We're hoping to have 3 or 4 kids in a 5 to 7 years span and the agreement is that she'd work only once the youngest is around 12 years old, so it could be a pause of 17 to almost 20 years of being a stay at home mom. So far so good, we made this decision together, I really wanted for our kids to experience a having their mom focusing on them full time, and not sacrifice their education and development. Also both of us would never want to have someone else educate our kids, e.g. a nanny.
Now the issue at hand began around 2 months ago, when my wife finally announced she's quitting her position soon to focus on her family. Reactions were pretty negative, with friends from her work trying to convince her she's being manipulated by me being the most recurrent thing coming up. Some mutual friends are saying I'm trying to control her, that I was jealous of her earning more than me and being more successful. Now income wise, we're fortunate as even if she just recently started hitting income around 250k, my work in tech as a consultant still brings in around 180k so it's not like we can't live on a single salary.
Now I discussed this with my wife and she still wants go trough it and honor our plan for the kids, but the one critic that made me think it over the most and that I knew gave my wife a hard time is that I'm stealing all the hard work my wife went through to be a surgeon and depriving society of a trained surgeon which is quite an essential worker.
So, AITAH?
TLDR: My wife and I agreed that she stops working until the youngest of our kids is 12 yo, she's a surgeon and I'm a consultant in tech; I'm blaming for depriving society of a surgeon.
Edit: wow didn't notice that error in the title.. "depriving" ofc

This year has been a rough year. A lot of things has happened, and I think every day is more intense in comparative of yesterday.
I'm in my 4th year of school, I really like the career I am studying, but it is so exhaustive. It is a humanist career, so I have to read a lot, like for the next next week I have an oral interrogation where I need to read 2 books with 400 pages each one, and that's just 1 subject. I am assistant in a subject and the rest of the assistant (2 other people, I'm mad with one of them because last year didn't help me with anything and I collapsed because of that) aren't very helpful, or they make some comments that hurt my feelings. Because of this and other situations, I am not comfortable when I'm in class and I get drained easily. Sometimes I'm daydreaming about changing career and study arts, because I always wanted to be an artist, but I don't have time to do something, and I am too ashamed to share what I do to my friends.
I am not comfortable in my home, neither. My little brother (4M) is at that moment of his life where his is super hyperactive but, at the same time, he is a little violent ? I don't know. He pushes me, he pinches me, he screams all the time, and he learned to open the door lock of my room, so I have no privacy. I am tired. I do not have the best relationship with my mother since never, and last time we started to talk more about how can we be gentle with my brother. Last week he got diagnosed with autism, so I have been helping and giving advice to my mother because I am autistic too, but I got diagnosed last year (my mother didn't believe me at that time, now she always tries to talk about it to me because I can help her with my brother but, at the same time, she hasn't said it to my other family about it ?? Like she ignores that I am autistic too and ignores all my struggles and that. It is not that I want she to say it to all the world, but when I came out to her, she told all my f* family and it was so weird. My family always tells everything to everyone, so. Yes. Is very weird) and I can help a little with that. My brother is like that because my grandfather (we live in his house since ever) like to scream and insult a lot, he has me fed up, and the father of my brother doesn't help her with him because he is having a parental burnout (is his first child so very understandable). This is a very stressing situation for everyone.
So, the "cherry on top" is that my partner (20M) and I decided to start living together. Yea. We both have similar situations on our respective homes, so we were so tired emotionally about it that we decided to search for a flat. And we luckily found a very good one last Saturday! So we are happy about it. But his family is more supportive than mine: my mom started the law of ice (I don't know if that's expression is valid in English, in resume she is ignoring me) and try to avoid me. But there are some days that she's super worried about it, and she gave me a washing machine and wants to buy me other things and that makes me so uncomfortable because since I was 15 yo I started to worry about myself and my needs (health and educations, my mom doesn't pay my university and nothing related to me) so is strange.
And I am tired because even if I have these good things in my life (a fantastic academic life, a partner that listen to me and is super nice to me and this new home only to us) I feel so sad and so insecure about a lot of things... I don't know if I am making the right decision with this, since I am just moving from home, but I'm still in the same city (I have this and the other year to finish my career, but I'm planing to study a master or still working in research) and sometimes I think that's dumb. And I know that it doesn't and this is going to help me with my mental health, but sometimes is just. I don't know. Everything is so complex.
I just wanted to vent, but if anyone wants to say something or share a similar situation, I am all ears. Or eyes in this case.
Sorry for my english, that's not my native language. And thank you so much for read me and for your time.

The first ship that arrived was pretty matter of fact about its fate. The pilot introduced himself as Eric, said he was part of the first sublight resupply attempt in modern history, then gave me and the ground control team his bad news.
“So,” he said. “Without real time telemetry, we weren’t even sure which half of your orbit you’d be in. That’s half a solar system’s worth of wiggle room. Decelerating enough to survive contact with your low orbit would take me two weeks, which, you know, it looks like we don’t have. That means that in order to get the second ship in before you lose orbital control to the Kresh, I’m gonna have to make a sacrificial flyby. Ten to the negative four torr is good enough for a lot of things, but at point-seven c it’s gonna be like sandblasting a soup cracker. Good news is that all the expensive toys are in the next ship, so this really ain’t costing you more than a ship and a pilot.”
“You knew,” I said. If they put the expensive toys in the second ship, they knew that the first was likely a sacrifice. No one smart enough to handle orbital physics would miss that.
“I did,” he said. “But someone had to go first.”
That was, of course, a lie. No one had to go first. No else had had, at least. When our connection to the FTL network was lost, we’d understand as the end of our reinforcements. Doing resupplies via sublight was just too risky. It was a testament to Earth that it had accepted the risk and continued anyway.
“Is there anything we can do for you?” I asked. This man had come here to die for us. I wasn’t sure how much I could give, but what I had was his.
“I do have a few requests,” he said. “First up, I need as much high-orbital data as you got. The whole lot.”
I began directing tightbeam resources to him immediately. It was an easy resource to exchange - it wasn’t like there was anyone else out to talk to anymore. When we lost FTL, we found ourselves very, very alone.
“Second,” he said. “Right, I know I’m gonna sound like a princess right now, but I have been stuck in this stupid tin-can for almost two-years now, and I seriously overestimated how much I like synth music. If you have anything that’s analog - I don’t care what kind of string or drum or brass you play, but I’d kill to hear something without a beep in it.”
I jumped my own queue in the tightbeam, and added a short playlist that I ripped from the local web. Human Music, it was labeled. 3 Terabytes. I prayed there was something on it that he’d like.
“And third,” he said. “Third. The uh, next pilot is pretty mad at me. Turns out this will just be one of those things left unfinished. That’s all death really is, I guess - a lot of unfinished things. Let him know that he was right: He is a better pilot than me. But tell him that wouldn’t have made a difference here. Bad luck beats skill, and this luck was shit.”
I promised, and he went silent after that. We could see what data he was analyzing, and the short answer was all of it - everything from atmospheric density to troop positions and his own ship’s blueprints. He knew he had one shot at this, and that if the price wasn’t paid here, it would be paid by whoever came next.
---
Ground control didn’t get a verbal warning that he’d entered atmosphere. Just a ping. A little here-I-am, whispered in the dark.
After that, we could keep track with visuals alone.
He hit the outskirts of the exoatmosphere in his first pass, burning bright enough to be seen with the naked eye. He caught the sparse particles like a kite, trying to shed enough speed to hit actual low orbit. Automatic telemetry updates gave us the grim news for the ship: Thermals were holding up decently, but the ablative was wearing out fast.
The entire descent brought us more than two hour’s reprieve. The Kresh hadn’t expected to see a resupply, but they knew what one meant: Get it now, get it fast, or deal with a stream of new troops. They could buy themselves ten days' time by shooting this one ship down now. That was an eternity during a siege.
The first loop lowered the speed by about a twentieth of light. The pilot responded by pulling the ship in tighter, burning trying to preserve more ablative plating by trading off with thermal. Seven fighters were close enough to fire off heat seekers. I don’t think the Kresh had ever anticipated shooting down a craft coming in that hot - the missile's decoy avoidance countermeasure actually made it steer around the thing, chasing down loose pieces of shrapnel. Cooled fragments, still hotter than an engine, should be at full blast. The simple mistakes bought it enough time to enter pre-orbit, and the fighters had to stop their pursuit. They weren’t willing to die to stop the ship.
Our man, on the other hand, was already committed to that course.
A third loop followed a fourth. Ablative coating went from 65% integrity, to 30%, to 5%. Telemetry scans were exceptionally detailed - the pilot was making the flyby count. The last message we got from him was simple:
Are you EMP shielded? he asked, not even bothering to encrypt the text stream. He didn’t have time to process more than that.
Yes, we replied. We knew what he was thinking, but it was still a shock to see it. The fusion torch flared hot, burning through the nozzle and feeding directly into the craft’s dueterium supply. The reaction went super critical, and the resulting neutron pulse set off everything in the ship with a z-count higher than iron. Three continuous seconds of EM interference screamed through the comms as the hulk burned through orbit.
The explosion itself wasn’t powerful enough to kill the Kresh ships still in high orbit, but it made enough broadband radiation to blind both sides LADAR. The man must have been a hell of a pilot - half the shrapnel went down and got burned up as it entered the standard atmosphere, traded as the cost of moving the other half past lagrange. Standard evasion would’ve made the pieces easy to dodge, but with LADAR down, all the Kresh could do was sit still and cower as the wrath of a dead man riddled them full of holes. Our best ace had managed to shoot down seven ships before this before getting shot down himself. The wreckage of the freighter took down six.
---
The second ship came in stealth. One second, we were holding attrition in high orbit, the next, something the size of a small station came ripping through the atmosphere.
It did the same trick as the former - swapping between ablative and thermal loads, coming down at a speed that the Kresh fighters didn’t even try to match. Armies could be built in years, but skills like this took decades.
Telemetry connection was established almost as an afterthought. The way the ship casually ate through ablative armoring made my eyes water, but the pilot himself seemed pretty non-plussed.
“You’re down to fifteen percent coverage. You need-
What I need,” he said, “is to see the previous ship’s telemetry. If there’s one thing you can trust, it’s that this bird is going to come down gentle.”
He cut off my chance to reply by flicking the channel off. We watched, and we wrang our hands, but sure enough he came in six minutes later with 4% of the ablative left.
I met him on the landing pad. Under normal circumstances, we’d have needed twenty-four hours for the craft to cool enough to even approach, but we’d had cryo ready just in case. Three tankers of nitrogen, and the loading area, at least, was cool enough to touch. Safety would have to take a backseat to speed here - we needed the supplies fast.
But those both would take a backseat to a promised conversation with the second pilot. He was out of the craft as soon as the air was cool enough to avoid scalding his lungs, picking through the workers to try and find who had the telemetry data.
I found him first. The drive went into his hands, but I needed to keep my promise with Eric before letting go.
“You’re better than the first pilot,” I said, and I wasn’t lying. If the previous flier had been a saint, this one was a god. “But you wouldn’t have been able to manage the landing either. There just wasn’t time.”
“Let me see,” he said, tugging on the drive. “Just let me see. I have to know I couldn’t do it either. I have to know that someone had to die.”
I let go of the drive and he stalked back into his ship. I didn’t follow. I figured I’d pushed things far enough as it was.
---
The second pilot left the ship six hours later. He looked bleary in a way that put me at ease. I’d been up the last six hours directing supplies from the ship. Everything from ground-to-orbit rails to AGI targeting systems was inside, and to say it was gamechanging would be an understatement. It was good work, but I was tired, and I didn’t want to have to pretend otherwise. Seeing the other man with bags under his eyes meant we could just be frank with each other.
“I couldn’t have managed it,” he said, half-ashamed, half-relieved.
“It just wasn’t possible,” I agreed.
We sat there a moment longer. I didn’t mind the break. This was time well spent.
“Did it hurt?” he asked finally.
“Ablative failed before heating,” I said, which was the technical way of saying no. “He overloaded the reactor before the ship actually broke up and did some kind of slingshot maneuver - hit the main body of the Kresh fleet with half a space station’s worth of shrapnel.”
“Good,” he said.
I knew the signs. The tremor in his cheek, the way his jaw clenched - it wasn’t professional, but I hugged him anyway. Let him have the dignity of choosing to weep instead of having it wrenched out of him.
It was a gift we’d all been given at some point in this war. At least now, there was the hope it could be over soon.