Narrative text

im new to Reddit so I apologize if im doing this wrong, i think im asking for advice/opinions.. im 21f and two or three years ago i started hanging out with an old friend again after a few years, it was right after a serious relationship for me so honestly i was just rebounding and having fun with an old friend. Anyways.. after about a month of hanging out everyday with him and his friends, and three hookups later, hes driving me home and says “ive started talking to this one girl recently and id feel bad if we kept seeing each other while I pursued her”. Very understandable, i told him thats no problem, no worries and that were all good. That was the last i heard of him until a year later. 

After about a year, im back together with the ex i was hung up on while rebounding with (well call him jake). Im at the mall with my friend and i get a “hey girly” text from a girl well call sara. Anyways, sara proceededs to say that her and jake were dating and she thinks jake was cheating on her with me, she then said when she found out abt the cheating he cried and said that while he tried to break it off with me, i “screamed and cried” and said “i love you, ill off myself if you leave… that I assaulted him during one of our hookups. I was blown away.

Sara clarifies and assures me she knows the truth and that hes a lying cheating loser and i fill her in on what really happened between us, keep in mind, I know woman can hurt men like that, but the three times we hooked up I was stomach down face down the whole time and it was during a very sickly time in my life, I was under 90lbs. It just wasn’t possible unless i drugged the mf somehow, he was very big… anyways, after that jake tried reaching out to me to hang out again and i literally said “if i assaulted you why would u wanna hang w ur abuser?” And blocked him after that. 

For the next year n half Sara and I aren’t close friends but we are mutuals and frequently interacted via instagram, the typical liking posts and replying to stories… i didnt start noticing anything off about Sara until it was basically too late, essentially it started with a TikTok she reposted on instagram saying something like “when she copy’s you” idk just something along those lines. I cant tell you why i had a feeling it was about me, but i did.. i ignored it and immediately pushed down the idea that she posted that directed towards me, i remember thinking to myself “there’s no way, i mean we’ve had literally no issues lol”.. and i mean her and i are still interacting completely normal still atp.

i cant remember how long after the TikTok repost till the indirect, direct posts, started getting really personal. Things like “the girl they cheat with is always uglier.” But it really started going downhill till i noticed.. no matter what time it is.. 4am..1pm.. she was my first instagram story viewer, without fail, everytime. 

In my head at this point im just thinking like “yk i post a lot, its not weird, maybe she’s just really active like me” during this time im really just trying to avoid the truth which is, that girl isn’t my friend, her and I weren’t close but i hold friends more dear than anything and i always have, she went through something hurtful that i was involved with and although i didnt know she and jake were together i felt i owed her loyalty and at least someone that’ll be real with her.
Now im getting to the main event.. i know.. this is already insane enough. Trust me. Anyways very very soon after i clock it that Sara is always my first viewer, thats when the eerily similar post come up. It started with random little things, and maybe thats why it took me so long to notice but it started with me posting a picture of a bush outside and, im not joking, two minutes later after being my first viewer, posts a SOMEHOW “prettier” (subjectively) bush than i posted. Then id post a selfie in a certain pose and minutes later shed post the same exact thing of herself. By this time ive NOTICED what’s slowly happening but I truly didnt want to believe this shit again im thinking to myself “youre not that bitch, why would someone COPY you” i mean this girl is pretty! Smart! Insane daddy’s money! Why tf would she be pressed over me, at the time i was sick and depressed and lowkey Emo.

the basically blatant copying continued for a few months, i really didnt want to bring it up and it had gotten to a point where i was thinking of this situation pretty often, it made me feel gross and weird and mean, i felt mean thinking she’d copy me. It was horrible. I had gotten Into a new Relationship at this time and i was just ignoring it until one day i lost a picture of a hummingbird and the caption says “omg a hummingbird has never been so close to me” those birds are very important to me they remind me of my grandmas old cottage. NOT EVEN A WHOLE 2 MINUTES GO BY and she posts a video of a hummingbird flying CLOSER to her. 

That was the breaking point for me honestly, i didn’t say anything to her nor post anything bout her, i simply unfollowed her on instagram and that was that, I unfollowed her and refreshed her account 5 seconds later SHE BLOCKED ME. It had all clicked, she was on my account all day. Everyday refreshing my account, always my first viewer, post exact lookalikes to what im postng, purchasing clothes and random things i own. It was all on purpose and she knew what she was doing. But that was that, what’s done was done and i moved on, literally forgot about her existence.
UNTIL THREE MONTHS LATER i get a. Message from one of those fake phone numbers saying “come get ur man girl” and sends a photo of my bf at the time liking a body photo of Sara’s on instagram. Now I wasn’t mad at the obviously photoshopped screenshot, like that shit was fucking stupidly photoshopped the fonts were completely different, i was mad about her HUNG UP on me. I replied saying stuff like youre nothing but a spoiled brat who cries when she doesnt get her way, i said she complains about these things in her life that she causes herself, all the drama she was in and i blindly defend her, somehow she was always in beef with ppl that stalked her and copy’s her an all these People want to be as rich and pretty and smart and funny her and they cant so they hate her, i said you are the evil one and now i see it, you cause these issues and when people defend themselves or disengage with you because of your behavior towards them you blast them on social media painting them as the bag guy because you know people will blindly believe you. I said much more in much better wording but thats basically that.. AND BOY DID SHE NOT LIKE THAT

here begins the relentless posting of me, she’s posted blatant insane lies like im a pedo and a racist,, that i support mass genocide and im a rapist, im a stalker who wants to be her so bad but ill never be as educated and wealthy and ill never have a good job and will be a lifeless loser my whole life. INSANE SHIT LMAOO, i entertained it for a while, shed post lies and id post “un actually here’s what happened” and she’s post my post and cover out the parts she sounds bad and only post the parts where I admittedly went wrong, but like i willl literally admit Where i said sum I shouldn’t have so wtf. 

This cycle goes on for months, she contacts these older girls who previously had beef with me and had them give her all my information so now she’s signing my phone number up for the national guard, my address, my full name and family’s name. She’s actually lost her mind atp, it’s been two years and biweekly she Post about. me, pushing this narrative that im all these things yet has no proof to back up anything, even tho i have timeline proof of my posts then hers, i buy something then she buys it after, saying Vietnamese noses are ugly. Proof of her asking for my information. She has her army of blinded losers constantly stalking me along with her and talking about me, texting me talking all this ignorant shit and ive sat here all by myself just flabbergasted, for the first year it really did get to me, id feel sick, i felt the need to prove to her and her instagram followers that im not who she’s saying i am, and even she herself knows that. I eventually just stopped fighting back, i stopped trying to clear my name and clear the air.. i learned she’s a Narcissist , no matter the response. She’s going to feed off of it, i’ve been nice, i’ve been rude, i’’ve been empathetic, and ive been cruel. nothing stopped her and im afraid nothing but time will.

This started when i was 19 and i’m now 21, i’’ve called the cops but since this is classified as “cyber bullying” there’s no laws and nothing they can do, after learning i called the cops on her she started posting about a case she’s making against me for defamation which is confusing bc i never told a lie, she did. I notice After two years she just projects everything, her deepest insecurities are right there if you look, it’s what she brags, and shows off the most, herself. She has everything, anyone could want and need yet she’s still so Miserable, yet me, broke as fuck, pretty but nothing to brag abt, i don’’t materially have what she has and she thinks because of that i created this whole mess, but ive always been richer,, im happy with myself, im content most days and thats incredible, i have the most beautiful friends who love me. And would die for me, family i adore. I have everything. The great job, the loads of money and gucci purse can fucking wait, thats my even what i want truly, i want to be a mother. there’s much more detail but this post is already so long and draining, i honestly dont know what to say, I haven’t gone on her account in months but ill still hear and see screenshots every now and then of what she says, the most recent one was yesterday and its that i apparently have been calling her little brothers phone, who’s also a minor. Just untrue, honestly sinister, evil shit. Evil person. And i regret befriending her.. 

im new to Reddit so I apologize if im doing this wrong, i think im asking for advice/opinions.. im 21f and two or three years ago i started hanging out with an old friend again after a few years, it was right after a serious relationship for me so honestly i was just rebounding and having fun with an old friend. Anyways.. after about a month of hanging out everyday with him and his friends, and three hookups later, hes driving me home and says “ive started talking to this one girl recently and id feel bad if we kept seeing each other while I pursued her”. Very understandable, i told him thats no problem, no worries and that were all good. That was the last i heard of him until a year later. 

After about a year, im back together with the ex i was hung up on while rebounding with (well call him jake). Im at the mall with my friend and i get a “hey girly” text from a girl well call sara. Anyways, sara proceededs to say that her and jake were dating and she thinks jake was cheating on her with me, she then said when she found out abt the cheating he cried and said that while he tried to break it off with me, i “screamed and cried” and said “i love you, ill off myself if you leave… that I assaulted him during one of our hookups. I was blown away.

Sara clarifies and assures me she knows the truth and that hes a lying cheating loser and i fill her in on what really happened between us, keep in mind, I know woman can hurt men like that, but the three times we hooked up I was stomach down face down the whole time and it was during a very sickly time in my life, I was under 90lbs. It just wasn’t possible unless i drugged the mf somehow, he was very big… anyways, after that jake tried reaching out to me to hang out again and i literally said “if i assaulted you why would u wanna hang w ur abuser?” And blocked him after that. 

For the next year n half Sara and I aren’t close friends but we are mutuals and frequently interacted via instagram, the typical liking posts and replying to stories… i didnt start noticing anything off about Sara until it was basically too late, essentially it started with a TikTok she reposted on instagram saying something like “when she copy’s you” idk just something along those lines. I cant tell you why i had a feeling it was about me, but i did.. i ignored it and immediately pushed down the idea that she posted that directed towards me, i remember thinking to myself “there’s no way, i mean we’ve had literally no issues lol”.. and i mean her and i are still interacting completely normal still atp.

i cant remember how long after the TikTok repost till the indirect, direct posts, started getting really personal. Things like “the girl they cheat with is always uglier.” But it really started going downhill till i noticed.. no matter what time it is.. 4am..1pm.. she was my first instagram story viewer, without fail, everytime. 

In my head at this point im just thinking like “yk i post a lot, its not weird, maybe she’s just really active like me” during this time im really just trying to avoid the truth which is, that girl isn’t my friend, her and I weren’t close but i hold friends more dear than anything and i always have, she went through something hurtful that i was involved with and although i didnt know she and jake were together i felt i owed her loyalty and at least someone that’ll be real with her.
Now im getting to the main event.. i know.. this is already insane enough. Trust me. Anyways very very soon after i clock it that Sara is always my first viewer, thats when the eerily similar post come up. It started with random little things, and maybe thats why it took me so long to notice but it started with me posting a picture of a bush outside and, im not joking, two minutes later after being my first viewer, posts a SOMEHOW “prettier” (subjectively) bush than i posted. Then id post a selfie in a certain pose and minutes later shed post the same exact thing of herself. By this time ive NOTICED what’s slowly happening but I truly didnt want to believe this shit again im thinking to myself “youre not that bitch, why would someone COPY you” i mean this girl is pretty! Smart! Insane daddy’s money! Why tf would she be pressed over me, at the time i was sick and depressed and lowkey Emo.

the basically blatant copying continued for a few months, i really didnt want to bring it up and it had gotten to a point where i was thinking of this situation pretty often, it made me feel gross and weird and mean, i felt mean thinking she’d copy me. It was horrible. I had gotten Into a new Relationship at this time and i was just ignoring it until one day i lost a picture of a hummingbird and the caption says “omg a hummingbird has never been so close to me” those birds are very important to me they remind me of my grandmas old cottage. NOT EVEN A WHOLE 2 MINUTES GO BY and she posts a video of a hummingbird flying CLOSER to her. 

That was the breaking point for me honestly, i didn’t say anything to her nor post anything bout her, i simply unfollowed her on instagram and that was that, I unfollowed her and refreshed her account 5 seconds later SHE BLOCKED ME. It had all clicked, she was on my account all day. Everyday refreshing my account, always my first viewer, post exact lookalikes to what im postng, purchasing clothes and random things i own. It was all on purpose and she knew what she was doing. But that was that, what’s done was done and i moved on, literally forgot about her existence.
UNTIL THREE MONTHS LATER i get a. Message from one of those fake phone numbers saying “come get ur man girl” and sends a photo of my bf at the time liking a body photo of Sara’s on instagram. Now I wasn’t mad at the obviously photoshopped screenshot, like that shit was fucking stupidly photoshopped the fonts were completely different, i was mad about her HUNG UP on me. I replied saying stuff like youre nothing but a spoiled brat who cries when she doesnt get her way, i said she complains about these things in her life that she causes herself, all the drama she was in and i blindly defend her, somehow she was always in beef with ppl that stalked her and copy’s her an all these People want to be as rich and pretty and smart and funny her and they cant so they hate her, i said you are the evil one and now i see it, you cause these issues and when people defend themselves or disengage with you because of your behavior towards them you blast them on social media painting them as the bag guy because you know people will blindly believe you. I said much more in much better wording but thats basically that.. AND BOY DID SHE NOT LIKE THAT

here begins the relentless posting of me, she’s posted blatant insane lies like im a pedo and a racist,, that i support mass genocide and im a rapist, im a stalker who wants to be her so bad but ill never be as educated and wealthy and ill never have a good job and will be a lifeless loser my whole life. INSANE SHIT LMAOO, i entertained it for a while, shed post lies and id post “un actually here’s what happened” and she’s post my post and cover out the parts she sounds bad and only post the parts where I admittedly went wrong, but like i willl literally admit Where i said sum I shouldn’t have so wtf. 

This cycle goes on for months, she contacts these older girls who previously had beef with me and had them give her all my information so now she’s signing my phone number up for the national guard, my address, my full name and family’s name. She’s actually lost her mind atp, it’s been two years and biweekly she Post about. me, pushing this narrative that im all these things yet has no proof to back up anything, even tho i have timeline proof of my posts then hers, i buy something then she buys it after, saying Vietnamese noses are ugly. Proof of her asking for my information. She has her army of blinded losers constantly stalking me along with her and talking about me, texting me talking all this ignorant shit and ive sat here all by myself just flabbergasted, for the first year it really did get to me, id feel sick, i felt the need to prove to her and her instagram followers that im not who she’s saying i am, and even she herself knows that. I eventually just stopped fighting back, i stopped trying to clear my name and clear the air.. i learned she’s a Narcissist , no matter the response. She’s going to feed off of it, i’ve been nice, i’ve been rude, i’’ve been empathetic, and ive been cruel. nothing stopped her and im afraid nothing but time will.

This started when i was 19 and i’m now 21, i’’ve called the cops but since this is classified as “cyber bullying” there’s no laws and nothing they can do, after learning i called the cops on her she started posting about a case she’s making against me for defamation which is confusing bc i never told a lie, she did. I notice After two years she just projects everything, her deepest insecurities are right there if you look, it’s what she brags, and shows off the most, herself. She has everything, anyone could want and need yet she’s still so Miserable, yet me, broke as fuck, pretty but nothing to brag abt, i don’’t materially have what she has and she thinks because of that i created this whole mess, but ive always been richer,, im happy with myself, im content most days and thats incredible, i have the most beautiful friends who love me. And would die for me, family i adore. I have everything. The great job, the loads of money and gucci purse can fucking wait, thats my even what i want truly, i want to be a mother. there’s much more detail but this post is already so long and draining, i honestly dont know what to say, I haven’t gone on her account in months but ill still hear and see screenshots every now and then of what she says, the most recent one was yesterday and its that i apparently have been calling her little brothers phone, who’s also a minor. Just untrue, honestly sinister, evil shit. Evil person. And i regret befriending her.. 

The days are short, the nights are extensively long. Those who survive, do so thanks to the endless charity of the ruling class, but none thrive. Those who are mighty, get inducted. Those who are a threat, get ended. Bounty hunters are aplenty, and all those who are scorned from all corners of society are welcomed under the embrace of Lenssle's darkened skies.

Campaign Info

• Scheduling - Scheduling is fairly flexible around GMT timezones. 5 PM GMT and after is generally the go to. Thursdays/Saturdays/Mondays are the available days. The time is fairly flexible, and the day/time of sessions will be determined based on the availability of attendees, that's to say, once the players are decided, we'll figure out a consistent schedule.
• Requirements - A working mic, a computer, and time.
• Campaign - The campaign is set in a homebrew city adjacent to Faerun. It's a city cursed with ancient, inexplicable magic that forces it to only ever get about two hours of shitty sunlight a day, and the rest is just clouds and general darkness. This has made it a haven for all those rejected by society, whether due to taboo or due to their nature or afflictions. It's ruled by a set of noble vampire families, a mercenary company, and a family of cutthroat werewolves. The city serves as a central location for bounty hunters, loreseekers, and those interested in arcane arts that are banned everywhere else.
• Rulings - As a DM, I'm incredibly flexible with game rules as I tend to favour fun a lot more. I also have a habit of homebrewing absolutely insane magic items for my players and my general goal is to let each player "do the cool thing" so to speak. I don't actually give much of a damn about official rulings if they get in the way of people enjoying the game.
• Questions - If you have any further inquiries, feel free to either leave a comment or text me directly. I will respond to things as soon as I can, however do not expect a very swift response.

________
The Setting:
The setting is largely centred around subverting the general themes of what you'd expect from a high fantasy campaign. This isn't exactly dark fantasy, but it leans very heavily into the themes. There is also an aspect of cosmic horror attached at higher levels.

• The City - The central focus of the campaign. Technically there is a main storyline to follow, however if the party doesn't wish to stick with that, there's a quest board and a bounty board. The environment is highly reactive, and the goal is to build a narrative centred around the PCs and not the other way around.
• The Story - Beyond the introductory quest that gets everyone together, the story follows a web of lies, questions, and secrets untangle themselves as the PCs explore. The idea is that each portion of the city has its own reasons to tie into the story, so ultimately the experience wouldn't be lost, but a lot of angles are provided to come at the story from.
• The People - Most NPCs aren't meant to be generic. Everyone in this city has a story and a reason to be here. Be it that they were born here, escaped a previous life, or have chosen to settle down somewhere less temperamental than the average village or city within Faerun. Each family has its own history and lore, however I'll only dive into those if asked. Lore dumping isn't to be expected unless prompted.

The campaign will likely stay within the confines of the city, but I'm open to suggestions about going beyond at higher levels.
________
About me: Name's Yusuf. I'm 23 years old. I live in Egypt. I've been running 5e consistently (1/2 sessions a week save for skips) for the past 4.5 years, and have experimented a lot with other systems. The reason I like 5e is because it offers a lot of flexibility for both player and DM, allowing a curated experience outside of the Intended Game Design™ of most TTRPGs. Having said that, it comes with an ungodly amount of jank that you have to weave through. Funnily enough, that is a very fair description of me as well, since I have a fairly fringe sense of humour but I do dabble into most things in life if just to try them. Ultimately, I don't judge anyone for doing anything long as it isn't too degenerate or outright criminal.
Application link: https://forms.gle/MddwwowQ5m9otW7BA

The worst part is that the messages she sends me are either just mean, inappropriate or just plain projection.
The last one I received:
"Learn to accept being the bad guy in someone else's story, even if that's not what happened. Never forget that people will turn you into what they need you to be so that their internal narrative can make sense to them."
Followed by :
This text is a good description of what you've done with me. This is the last text I'm sending you. Since you're so good at doing without me, I'd like you to block me on messenger like (girlfriend name) did. I never imagined for a moment how unfair you can be. But keep this text in mind because it says it all.
Of course she's playing the victim as she threatens suicide to manipulate me, refuses to see her grandson, talks negatively about him since he's not walking yet at 14 months, never asks about him even after he's been in hospital, every time she calls me for months she just criticizes me, tries to manipulate me and make me feel guilty, and implies that one day far in the future she's going to commit suicide and that it will potentially be my fault.

Do you have a group of friends who want to play D&D but no DM? Want to explore a setting that has been built and ironed out with passion throughout the years? Want to engage in a story that has your characters as an integral part of it all? Well then. I may be able to answer your prayers. Read below and I hope that I may have caught your eye enough to give me the chance.
Hello, I'm back again. After trying to form a group from strangers. I decided to save myself the trouble and look for an already established group of friends to DM for a new campaign set in my homebrew world. It's a dark fantasy setting inspired heavily by FromSoftware's various titles (mostly Dark Souls and Bloodborne), ASOIAF, Pillars of Eternity, and of course LoTR.
The Premise
"A wall of darkness had taken the horizon. An abysmal maw stretching into nothingness. Before it, blanketed by unyielding clouds of black, laid a land unrecognizable. The sun’s arrows only pierced as far as perhaps a mile, but it was enough to glimpse the scale of death that had taken hold of Aryleit’s Valley. The color of the endless rows of orchids and daisies, the gentle river that followed the road, the small humble cottages that dotted the landscape. It was all gone. There was no river, no color, no life. Only a broken land of ashes. Like a great fire had raged through. Killing everything."
A disaster, unlike anything ever seen before, struck the eastern lands of Quandra two months ago. First as an earthquake, then as a shadow. Black clouds now occupy hundreds of miles of land and everything underneath it devoid of color and life. There is only speculation about what may have caused it, but the most common rumor is it was the work of magic. Specifically by the hands of the mages of the Ardelyn Academy. Whose great city too lies in the maw of the Eternal Night. Fear around magic has grown significantly. Many believing that its use may trigger another disaster or grow the Eternal Night.
It seems that Ishax may be heading to a dark age. War looms on the horizon as kingdoms lie in wait as vultures to feed upon the wound Quandra suffered. Words of tongueless corpses of elven nobles have grown. A new Rite of Kings ready to commence as Ardentent waits for their king to die. The civil war in Lidym reaching its peak of brutality as the fighting grows. But have they noticed what lurks in the shadows?
What I'm Looking For...

1. Have at least 3 people in your group. Up to a total of 6.
2. Everyone be at least 18 years of age or older.
3. All experience levels are welcomed! Whether everyone is completely new, hard-boiled veterans, or a mixed bag of both.
4. While I may not have to worry about people being disrespectful towards each other (assuming ya are good friends). I would like to DM for a group that is free of any homophobia, racism, etc. None of that edge lord shit please.
5. Players that are eager to engage the world and dive into the story elements of a campaign as well as the stories of the other player characters. The ratio is something about 80-20 Story to Combat. I do try not to neglect combat, but I also do not like throwing it in for the sake of filling a quota.

About Myself

• Worldbuilding is by far my favorite hobby, So much so that I have learned music and 3D software to help add to the world. It is my favorite aspect of fantasy. Only thing I love more than that is collaborative worldbuilding and I have found D&D to be the perfect place for it.
• Communication! I am always happy to answer any questions you may have or clear things up. Not only that but also happy to chat about anything else. If I feel there are issues arising then I won't be afraid to point it out. Only thing that has killed more games than scheduling is a lack of communication.
• Open to Criticism. I know my DMing may not be perfect and I might forget rules here and there, but it is my hope that people reach out to me about any issues. I will never take offense nor hold it against you. It is a game first and all. Maybe you didn't like a ruling or feel I did something unfair. Please let me know and we can discuss it. I do not want grievances to develop due to the lack of communication.

About The Game

• While it is a dark fantasy setting showcasing the horrors of a grim world. All forms of sexual violence are not included in the setting nor permitted. Any other topics you would like me to avoid can be written in the RPG Consent Checklist I have players take before we begin the first session.
• Time: Saturdays/Sundays 7am PST every week. Time is negotiable, but due to my work schedule it will have to be early in the day for me.
• We will be using Discord for voice. Roll20 for the VTT. Talespire for combat encounters (no need to purchase. I simply screenshare it on discord.)
• No Homebrew races. I am open to looking at classes and magic items, but take it with a grain of salt.
• Character Grace Period: The grace period is something I like to throw in my games. Which is basically for the first 3 sessions (5 if new players are included). I will allow players to change ANYTHING about their character. Class, race, whatever. I do this because I believe players may gain a better understanding of the setting in this time and might want to switch to something more fitting.
• No Joke Characters. I'm completely fine with goofing around, but Billy The Toenail Rogue is not a good fit for the world.
• Starting at Level 1 or 3. Depending on the makeup of the group. If there are players who never played before. It's best to begin at level 1 and move up quickly so they can gather the experience.
• Milestone Leveling.
• NO PVP!

Is This Campaign Right For You?

• RP/Narrative Heavy/Political Intrigue. You will find that I do skew a bit more towards the story side of dnd, but that is not to say combat is neglected. I just tend to do combat encounters when it makes sense narratively other than to fit a quota. That's also to say I'm not going to just let 7 sessions go by without a fight.
• Player Agency! It is vital that the players feel like their choices are actually affecting the world around them. I do so by placing a lot of importance on player characters and their backstories. Whether you write a paragraph or a novel. Be sure that I will be using it all to wove it into the grand schemes of the story. The world reacts to you as much as you react to it. I shape the campaign to your characters!
• Living and Breathing World! Worldbuilding is something I'm very passionate about and this world is something I have been fleshing out and changing for years. I very much enjoy making it feel like a real and living world to the players. I also encourage players to add to it as well. If there's something I love as much as worldbuilding. It's collaborate worldbuilding. Events in the world are not paused. Waiting for you to arrive.
• Long Term Campaign! Due to the nature of the story and everything I have planned. This campaign can last a while. During this time. You could see your characters grow to become heroes hailed in every corner of the world as you travel from place to place.

Setting Guide: https://drive.google.com/file/d/13euGqDwPuMcO6qxI9MVD-UF5hUb8bKhview?usp=sharing
Again forgive me for the walls of text. Feel free to skim through it to get an idea of what the world is like. I'm always open to answer any questions regarding the setting.
Apply here!: https://forms.gle/ydmvavr29jRyUy9A6

I just finished the RBC Brooklyn Half yesterday, after a 12-week training program. I’d built up a lot of expectations for the race, for a whole host of interrelated reason (that I’ll unpack in the body of this thing); all those expectations, unfortunately, caused me to get carried away, and made my experience of the race overall 1) unenjoyable while I was running and 2) disappointing after I finished.
I’m a teacher, and I frequently relay this paraphrasing of a Confucius quote to my kids: “We can either learn how to act by imagining consequences and reflecting, which is best; or by watching others make mistakes, which is hard (though not for us). The most difficult way to learn is through experience, but if that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes.” One of my top-upvoted comments of all time is in this sub, telling people to not ruin a race for themselves by over-fixating on time-goals at the expense of enjoying their race.
And yet—

Race Information

• Name: RBC Brooklyn Half
• Date: May 18, 2024
• Distance: 13.1 mi
• Location: Brooklyn, NY
• Time: 1:38:2X

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub or Equal 1:32	No
B	Sub 1:35	No
C	Finally Pace Myself Properly	No

Splits

Split	Pace	Time
5k	7:04	21:55
10k	7:20	44:42
15k	7:12	1:07:03
20k	8:23	1:33:03
Finish	7:55	1:38:2X

Background Context

I started running in Oct of ‘22, and caught the bug. I ran a half in April of ‘23 in 1:47, and loved the distance. I built base over the summer to ~30-35 mpw, and then trained for the Philly Half in Nov of ‘23. Ended up getting a 1:38:0X in that race, which was really exciting. More exciting was that I approximately even-split that race — my second half took ~30 seconds longer than the first. I left that race feeling exactly how I wanted to — like a washcloth wrung out completely. I felt like that race & time represented the absolute best of my ability, given my current level of fitness; and I felt like I tried my best the whole way through.
Last important piece of context re: diagnosing this race’s disappointment: between Oct of ‘22 and Nov ‘23 I went from ~240 lbs avg to ~195 lbs average. My lowest weight dipped to the high 180s, but I stabilized around 190 pretty quickly.

Training

I used Runna to train for Philly and really enjoyed the experience. My organizational skills are pretty lacking, and I spend 100% of them in other areas of my life — so I enjoy using an app that offloads some of that cognitive lift for me, fully worth the sub during training blocks.
As far as milage, I managed:

Week	Miles (Ran / Goal)
1	25 / 33 mi mi (missed 2 runs from travel)
2	32 / 36 mi (missed 1 run b/c travel)
3	38 /38 mi
4	12 / 20 mi (deload, missed 2 runs from illness)
5	28 / 38 mi (missed 2 runs from illness carried over from previous week)
6	40 / 40 mi
7	43 / 43 mi
8	23 / 23 mi
9	50 / 43 mi (extended 2 easy runs by ~3 miles apiece)
10	43 / 40 mi
11	29 / 35 mi (missed 1 run due to illness)
12	23 / 23 mi (including race).

As I’m sure you can already see, I missed a meaningful amount of runs due to illness/other life interruption. Concurrent with all this is the fact that my wife is due with our 2nd child in, well, like a week and a half from now; so a lot of the missed runs in weeks 1-5 also reflect a dramatic net increase in my responsibilities b/c of my wife feeling out of it / not being able to get as much done as normal (no shade at all; she’s literally building a new human that wasn’t there before). Overall I got ~92% of all milage done, running 388 miles during these 12 weeks. Mistake #1: I didn’t adjust my time goals in light of missing workouts; I figured if I just worked harder to “catch up,” I would be fine.
The plan included 2 quality sessions a week — 1 tempo run and 1 interval session, and the weekend long run frequently had pace thrown in. I vastly prefer tempo to interval running — personally, I cite being ~200 lbs as the reason. Once I get going, it’s easy to keep going, but frequent stops & starts just burn energy that I can’t afford to lose. Mistake #2: as I trained, my weight went from the high 190s to the high 200s, and I raced at ~207 lbs. I wasn’t consistent w/ nutrition during training, and the associated stress of my job, as well as parenting & chores usually handled by 2 people being done mostly by me — I often used lil’ snacks as a quick dopamine fix (adhd heads out there, you know what I’m talking about.)

Pre-Race

I wasn’t sure I’d be able to run the race in the first place — my first daughter (now 7) was born at 36 weeks, and I anticipated my second needing the same (choleostasis enjoyers, rise up). Instead, though, this baby seems primed to go the distance — so I got equal parts excited and nervous to be able to deliver on all my training.
I’d cut my time by 9 minutes from my first to the second half, and tried to be conservative in aiming to cut ~5 minutes between these cycles — so I aimed to run 7:00-7:05 for the race, dipping into the 6:55s if I felt good at the end of the race, and set my A goal for 1:32, and my B goal for 1:35. Mistake #3: I didn’t have any serious qualitative goals, and my quant goals were made too far in advance to be realistic. I also wasn’t proactive in adjusting my goals based on how training was going — despite advocating for that same thing in posts on this sub.
Man, it’s so easy to say smart things, and so hard to actually do them.
About 10 days before my race, I came down with a cough thing that sapped a bit of my energy. Kept me up at night, and sapped ~10-15% of my energy on a given day. The Wednesday before my race I asked my wife, “Do you think 3 days is enough for me to be back at 100%?” And I want to say to other runners out there: if you’re having to ask that question, go ahead and adjust your goals. We’ll tag that as Mistake #4.

The Race

Gorgeous morning. I live ~1.5 miles from the race start, so I walked over to Franklin and then jogged the remaining ~1 mile to the start as a warmup. Skipped bag dropoff for the same reason I don’t like checking bags while flying, did a quick pee (quick pee, long portapotty wait time), and went over to the corral.
My whole “thing” as a runner is that I’m deceptively fast — that is, that I’m most commonly the least-fit looking person out of the people running equivalent paces to myself. When I started running, that gave me a bit of imposter syndrome; any more, I draw on it for motivation. So as I was waiting in Corral C to start, I realized I felt a lot of pressure — to be able to deliver on being fast, to prove that I’m actually fit, whatever. No one outside of myself cares, obviously. But that’s now how this stuff works.

The First 10k — Would’ve Been Great If This Was a 10k

My pacing plan was as follows: don’t exceed 7:00 pace at any point in the first 7 miles; aim for ~7:30-7:45 going up Prospect Park’s big hill; use the downhill at 10k to catch my breath; and use the last 7 miles down Ocean Ave to winch down on speed if I was feeling good, or just hold around 7:05 if I was spent.
I was able to hit the first half of this plan pretty well, as my splits up top suggest. But I could tell, starting as I ran around GAP and into the park, that I was working too hard — the effort I was expending was too much. As I reflect on it now, I realize I was probably in ~1:35 shape (~7:15 splits); but I stubbornly refused to drop down in pace. I noticed my heart rate was in the high 170s as I ran through Prospect Park, where my HM pace usually puts me at 165 on the dot. I tried to tell myself it was race excitement + caffeine. [Arrested Development Narrator Voice: It wasn’t.]
I hit the 10k mark at 45 minutes pretty much on the dot. My 10k PR is 44:0-something. This is when I realized my pacing was probably a bit on the screwed side. I’m fairly capable with distance, and am better at medium-exertion-long-distance than I am at hard-exertion-short-distance (my 10k predicts a slightly better 5k time than I currently race). I thought to myself: “Well, you can always just drop down a bit and hold. What’s the worst that can happen?”

The Worst That Can Happen: AKA You’ll Feel Pretty Silly When You Try to Tell Your 38.5 Week Pregnant Wife That Your Last 6 Miles Were Quote “Unimaginable Suffering” And It “Felt Like It Would Never End”

I had been under the impression that Ocean Ave would be a “gentle downhill,” but had never run it prior to the race. This, dear reader, is a lie. Somehow, the last 6 miles of the race are entirely uphill; or at least, that is what it’ll feel like if you go out 5% over your current level of fitness.
The sun really started to get to me; and while I’d had water & nutrition, my gut wasn’t enjoying it, and I didn’t feel energized or like any second wind was coming. I specifically remember that Mile 9 felt like it took 20 minutes to finish; the last 5k of the race simply wouldn’t arrive.
I pulled off to the side to slow down; first to 7:30, then 7:45, then 8:00, with no respite. My legs were heavy despite feeling fueled — I was just dyin’ out there. My wife had been texting encouragement during the race, and I managed to send her back from my watch at mile 9 “all goals are now out the window,” and it was just about finishing — first, to finish without walking. But I took 2 30-second walk breaks when the fatigue felt unendurable — pulling off to the side and counting down from 30, while getting passed.
That was another feature of the race that made it so challenging — that same dynamic of “being deceptively fast” that I mentioned above came back to bite me, as I got passed continuously by people who’d raced their fitness, rather than their goals, in the first half of the race. That demoralized feeling was incredibly difficult to handle. I hadn’t, before today, understood why someone would quit a race; and now, even though I didn’t quit, I get it.
As I passed mile 11, I realized that, while my initial goal was fully out the window, I could still PB the race, even though my pace between miles 9 and 11 was more than a minute off my goal pace; I’d just need to hold approximately 8:00 pace, and I’d be right up against my prior PB. That didn’t make anything any easier, but it did make me feel like the suffering had a point.
Got an encouraging text from my wife, found some other folks at ~8:00 pace, and tried to lock into that pace next to them. And then I just sort of suffered to the finish line. I don’t know what the views looked like; I’m not sure what the race atmosphere was like. I wish I’d paced myself better so I could have experienced that fully.

Post-Race: Why Don’t They Tell You That You Have to Walk Up Stairs To Get Out of Cyclone Stadium BEFORE You Go Into the Stadium?

Got medal, got water. Drank about 5 consecutive cups of water, and then exited the boardwalk. Texted my wife that it’d been really hard but I finished, and right as I did, a critical mass of finishers arrived such that cell service got knocked out for everyone. Thus began the Long Night of The Soul for me at Cyclone stadium.
I walked in, walked around, realized there wasn’t anything I wanted to do in there, and then tried to go back out; at which point I was told “Exit is out that way,” and I said, “I can’t just go back out? I gotta go upstairs to leave, after running a race? That’s the rule?” The guy who told me didn’t deserve my sass; and I deserved to not go up stairs. Oh well.
I managed to get up the stairs without cramping up (though it was close). I went and looked out over Surf Ave, at everyone walking to and from the race, and just got to sit with my thoughts for a bit. I got myself a bit choked up & had a very dignified little cry at this realization, which I think does fully distill my feelings about the race: “I feel like I tried my hardest, but I don’t feel like I did my best.” I think that we often treat those two statements like they’re interchangeable, but there’s actually a bit of space between those ideas, and my race fell into the gap between them. I both tried very hard the entire time, but also, I could have done a better job pacing myself and picking target times. That disappointment is rough.

To Do Better Next Time

So to conclude this whole long sad love letter to learning: some takeaways, ranked from Most Transferrable (re: life skills) to Most Specific.

1. Actively listen to ya dang body, fool

Self-explanatory: by setting a goat at the outset of training, and then sort of driving toward it without respect for a lot of recently-added stressors in my life, I didn’t end up running any faster — I just made the running I did do kind of miserable. Next time I intend to use HR & Effort (together!) as a better indication of the pace my body feels comfortable running during the race. We say so much “Trust the taper,” and I think here I’d benefit from reminding myself, “… buuuut the taper doesn’t make impossible things possible.”

1. Don’t invest so heavily in the quant goal

I got very invested in how proud I would be if I managed to achieve the goal, and that forward-projecting is part of what caused me to overshoot the goal in the first place. Next time around I want to have a process goal to the tune of “Enjoy the race while trying to wring out your body like a washcloth.” Or something; I have time to plan.

1. Lose 15-20 pounds.

I’m 5’9; I’m strong and I’m heavy. My running has kind of been those two vectors pointing against each other the whole time. But I think I’m at the point where, if I want to be able to sustain 7:00 speeds for more than a 10k, I need to lose some of the excess weight I’m holding onto. I could also do strength training, but I’ve got a baby on the way; heart tells me that getting 7-10% lighter will be a lot easier than getting 7-10% stronger.
So that was training, goals, and next steps. Hopefully, by seeing my mistakes, you’ll be able to avoid them yourself in the future. Hopefully!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.

AhoyMy name is Moth, a 23-year old world builder that’s been roleplaying both in a text space and a tabletop space for about eight years. I’m a very fluid writer, my responses range from a couple paragraphs to set scenes and narrate encounters, to a few lines to response to dialogue without needing repeat information said prior. Also, I roleplay through Discord!
I’m currently looking for some people who’d be interested in tossing ideas around, planning out an RP around a themed town— complete with antagonists, villains, romantic subplots, a certain kind of tension between enemies, weird magics, cool marine biology facts, potential space travel, and more! … My goal is for something long term!
The concepts I bring to the table!:- The Setting . . . Our story takes place in the little beachside town of Port Half-Moon. On the surface, it is a sleepy little fishing town, but beneath the sea magic and mystical secrets await— from a cove-turned-castle of sentient crabs, half-sunk pirate ships full of treasure, weirdly armed poachers, and who knows what else? - Some Cast . . . I currently have a small line of characters I have in mind to bring to the table, though my focus will be on my main character: a marine biology college student by day and local cryptid protector by night.
What do you want to bring if anything? Sea fey? Weird aliens? People displaced by the sands of time? If interested in tossing ideas with me and writing this out, please reply and let me know!
JUST IN CASE … - Please do not come with AI Generated images for reference! It is an immediate ick!

Faction Song Inspiration:Screaming Jay Hawkins - I Put a Spell on You (Audio)
The Book of Founding from the Holy Tome.
“1
In the days of upheaval, when fear gripped the heart of man, the Gods whispered unto the first of our order, he who would be known among men as The Christian.
And The Christian, seeing the shadow of doom stretch across the land, spake unto the remnant, "Come forth and follow me, for I shall lead thee to safety beneath the wings of the divine."
Thus he led them to the place that would be their sanctuary, the venerable St. Patrick’s Church, and laid his hand upon its ancient stones, and behold, it was consecrated anew.
We adorned the sanctuary with the visages of gods of old—mighty Odin, wise Isis, and sovereign Zeus—and the windows shone with their countenance, casting divine light upon all who dwelled within.
2
The Christian then established the sacred rites, teaching his followers the paths of communion through offerings of the earth’s bounty.
First were the beasts of the field, brought forth as burnt offerings, their essence ascending as sweet incense to the heavens.
And when the stars aligned in the firmament, revealing signs of ancient power, The Christian decreed the deeper covenant of sacrifice.
Brave souls, pure of heart, stepped forth, laying down their lives upon the altar of salvation, their spirits rising to join the celestial choir.
Thus was the bond between the divine and the Coven sealed in blood and fire, a testament to their faith and devotion.
3
The Christian, knowing the weight of eternity could not rest upon a single soul, established the Circle of Elders, wise and steadfast.
And he proclaimed, "Upon my departure, another shall rise to wear the mantle, chosen by divine will and the council of elders."
Thus each Christian who ascended to lead was as a star in a dark sky, guiding the Coven with the light of the ancients.
4
In the fullness of time, the Coven grew, its roots stretching far beyond the sanctuary, into the broken world.
And The Christian’s teachings were as seeds sown on fertile ground, sprouting in the hearts of those who wandered in desolation.
The Elders walked among the towns and wastelands, their words a balm to the weary, their rituals a spectacle of hope for the forlorn.
5
Now, I, Brother Marcus, by the grace of the Circle, inscribe these sacred texts as a beacon to those who shall come after.
For as long as the night endures, and as long as the stars wheel overhead, so shall the covenant of The Christian remain unbroken.
We are the keepers of the flame, the stewards of the divine path, and through us flows the eternal power of the covenant.
So it has been written, and so it shall forever be.”
The Coven's origin is shrouded in betrayal. Initially founded by a Catholic priest seeking to provide sanctuary amidst the chaos following the Great War, the group was soon infiltrated and overtaken by a charismatic figure formally a member of the Church of Satan, who possessed a deep knowledge of religious studies and mythology. This individual, exploiting the despair and vulnerability of the survivors, incited a rebellion against the priest's Christian teachings, warping the sanctuary into a stage for his irreligious cult. The sanctuary was desecrated with pagan imagery, and the group was torn by internal strife that escalated into violence and sacrificial rites in the name of forgotten gods.
Over the centuries, this brutal beginning was mythologized into a divine founding narrative, detailed in the "Book of Founding" within their Holy Tome. The horrors and betrayals were recast as prophetic visions and holy sacrifices, with the role of The Christian evolving into a title bestowed upon the coven’s leader, who is viewed not merely as a guide but as a direct conduit to the divine. The title now is seen as holy and endearing, but originally was an insult to the man who originally tended the church as its priest. This brutal beginning has been forgotten by its followers, but not by the elders, who keep their "lessers" in a pool of “blissful” ignorance. The Christian and the Elders are all aware of the original plot, and are aware of the sham religion, but they maintain the Great Psychodrama to this day. This faction is not a descendant of the original Christianity, but is instead a division of the idea of Satanism taken to a militant degree and perverted into a cult of control. The original cult leader whose name was lost to time due to all documents referring to him as The Christian, was an ardent practitioner of the text Might is Right, and he used this philosophy after this war to conquer his own following. The current Coven secretly uses this text as their holy text, and not the text that was written by the Circle of Elders to control the “lessers.” Potential elders are promoted from promising "lessers," their trial is if they can accept the facade. If they fail, they are executed and fail the trial. These tests are held in private. So far no one has discovered the secret of the elders.
The Book of Ascension from the Holy Tome.
“1
Lo, in the time of gathering shadows, the Elders shall perceive among the faithful a stirring of the spirit—a readiness to ascend.
For this spirit is marked not by worldly signs but by a divine clarity of purpose and steadfastness of faith.
2
The chosen shall enter the Crypt of Visions at dusk, where the silence of the saints and the whispers of the divine converge.
Surrounded by the sacred relics of the forebearers, the chosen shall spend the night in contemplation and communion with the eternal.
Those who emerge with hearts unshaken are affirmed in their faith and prepared for greater revelations.
3
Upon the new light, the chosen partakes in the Feast of Enlightenment, where the Elders and the faithful gather to share divine sustenance.
At this feast, the chosen is nourished by the bread of wisdom and the cup of courage, embodying the sacrifices of those who walked the path before.
Here, the scrolls of ancient teachings are unrolled, revealing the deeper truths of our faith and the duties it entails.
4
Should the chosen prove true, they are presented before the assembly of the Elders and The Christian to affirm their commitment.
In the presence of the congregation, the chosen swears an oath upon the Holy Tome, vowing to uphold the tenets of our faith and to guide the flock with integrity.
They partake of the Chalice of Fellowship, signifying their unity with the leaders past and present, and their readiness to serve the divine will.
5
Thus consecrated, the chosen ascends to the Circle of Elders, tasked with preserving the light of our teachings and nurturing the spiritual growth of the community.
They stand as guardians of the faith, exemplars of divine virtue, and shepherds to the flock entrusted to their care.
As it has been written, so shall it continue; the cycle of ascension sustains the lifeblood of our covenant through the ages.
For as long as the heavens wheel above, the line of The Christian shall endure, a beacon to those who seek refuge in the divine embrace.”
​
Link to full WIP setting: Texoma Valley 2284

I’ve been realizing and remembering the extent of the gaslighting and fantasy narrative I’ve lived.
If you read my Mother’s Day post- I word vomited on her on Mother’s Day. And I didn’t apologize after for the first time. I stood my ground and told her “I’m the kid and you’re the adult always”.
She is in a pity party and approached me yesterday. She wanted me to “just tell me everything and she will just listen” lol trap. She wanted to do it like yesterday. Nope. I’m not derailing my life- it’s the end of the school year- I need to focus on my family.
So I wrote her 7 pages. Of honesty. I scanned it and I texted it to her and said here it is- if you wanted to know it’s here. I told her if she tries to talk to me about it before school is over I will block her. I asked her to read and reflect and I will be happy to sit down and talk about it after summer is underway and we are settled. I also told her not to share with anyone else- as the triangulation is unhealthy.
Now we wait and see what true colors show. 😅😅😅😅

Hi self publishers
I'm a software developer exploring the idea of creating a website that would allow authors to input their manuscript and generate a narrated audiobook.
I'm guessing that the biggest obstacle around this would be lack of quality but I feel like text to speech has gotten pretty good now to the point where it might be a viable option, especially for people who can't afford to hire narrators.
I created a quick sample to give you an idea of the quality: http://sndup.net/t87s
There would be a few different voices to choose from and it would be delivered quickly (probably under 10 minutes, definitely under an hour). It would be in .mp3 format, split into chapters and ready to upload to Audible or similar platforms.
Curious to hear your thoughts on whether you would find this valuable, what features would be most important, and how much you would consider paying for it.
Thanks!

I (23F) have a boyfriend (24M) for almost 1 and a half years. He is my first relationship (a bit late since I never explicitly wanted to be in a relationship before because I thought I could work more on myself) while I'm his second. He had a messy relationship before and used to vent to me, I acknowledged him as my other brother (typical in Korean culture) and genuinely saw him that way, so I tried to be neutral and gave really basic advice because I didn't want to be any part of this and more because I was hearing things from his side and I didn't know the girl and she could be right too.
Fast forward to a few months, they keep getting together and breaking up and finally, they do it for real and he has a crush on another girl. He went out with her once, like lunch or something and she told him she has a situationship with someone else but they remained friends.
Later that year we had a group trip among our friends and we grew close and kinda caught feelings. He seemed passionate about me and expressed that he loved me already (too soon if I'm honest), I really enjoyed having him as my best friend and didn't mind dating him and in fact I reciprocated his feelings and we started dating.
With time he started being weird like when we are at class (we attend the same uni) and we are talking and someone calls me, and I look to reply to them and answer their question and return back to our conversation, he gets mad at me and refuses to talk to me like I did something bad. It was a big red flag and I tried to explain how that was really awful and when I tried to mildly get back at him like when he's not listening to me, I'd jokingly say don't talk to me you always do the same when I don't listen and he'd never even entertain me and would get mad. And me explaining how we shouldn't just be fighting over stupid things is just a waste of time, he'd never try to even understand.
Eventually, he gets it and stops doing it. With time I felt really unloved in the relationship as he rarely complimented me or said that he loved me and I had to initiate it, in fact, he stopped replying to them with a love you too or you're cute or something in general. In fact, my man here previously told me how he feels uncomfortable having female friends, so I never had any fear or even thought of him talking to other girls. Having friends who are girls is fine, but hiding that is weird. Plus whenever we joked about exes or people who liked us, he always used to say that he doesn't even talk with that girl.
So here are those instances:
When I'm on my phone beside him he jokingly presses on buttons and also views different chats especially if it's with a guy and jokes about sending something stupid. Now I never even thought of doing that to someone but he once left me with his phone and I was gonna do something like that and while finding a chat I clicked on one accidentally. It was the same girl he had a crush on before, and he is still talking to her, sadly he has been sending the same jokes and messages to her (nothing romantic explicitly) but everything is like any joke he told me, he told her and also was that he met her. My man always told me everything about his day but hid this which was like why do you tell me everything except this, meaning you want to hide it? I never even asked him about his day in detail like that. I tried to be rational and tried not to react as he never handled me saying anything I didn't like, nicely and I didn't want to fight. I wanted to be sure and this time I saw another girl WHOM I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT. The girl was sick so he even went to the house to give her food and my man doesn't even check twice when I am sick. And he beautifully kept that part out of his narration of his days. I peacefully confronted him about it the first time I saw the texts accidentally. He denied it all and I tried to not have a bigger fight.
Later one day I was called to his place to finish the work that he had due and couldn't do himself, I came to help while he showered and on his laptop, the girl's text kept coming in, they talked about what kind of partners they wanted, they went out for walks many times and all this time he told me that he was sleeping or was out alone, the LIES. I was so mad but I finished the work and we went to print his assignment and later I ended up confronting him. He denied and gaslit me in believing he didn't even do any of that. Plus both the girls and he had profile pictures he drew for himself and them, mind you I don't have one.
I went home and the next I confronted him again and he finally said that she is just a friend and since he lives alone she's the only one who doesn't drink or smoke like him hence he goes on walks with her. He was paranoid from his previous relationship that I would get mad and that's why he didn't tell me. I was like when did I say that and the hiding makes what he's doing wrong like he knows it but still is hiding it. My man also doesn't even consider them friends like bro what are they then?
ANYWAYS, he apologizes and kinda makes me feel bad by saying he won't have any friends at all like I caught you lying???? He says he won't do it anymore and he just hung out with them. I forgive him.
We had small stupid fights about him not talking enough when I saw him texting so nicely with them and all.
Fast forward to almost when we were done with a year, I caught him drawing his previously mentioned crush on class and then got mad I got mad at him for drawing him and also yelled at me like I never even raised my voice. He with his mouth told that he only draws people he loves. And felt valid being mad like you see her story and take a screenshot and start drawing her what??? We fought, and he threatened to break up which he does always like I'm the problem.
Then he apologized and we went back to normal and then we maybe had a few fights in between, it was mostly us being frustrated with work but then last week I saw him always clutch his phone when I'm grabbing something next to it, comically exactly like those unfaithful bf tiktoks lmao. This bothered me a lot like what is it hide, to have no fights, I reassured him that you don't have to hide having friends.
Now some days later we went on a date and he was like distracted once in a while to check his phone or try to check messages but when I looked he was pulling down the notification bar (where he has the message app muted you can't see anything). I was trying to brush it off, but then we decided to head home and I was like let's go to your place, we can watch a movie or something, he said his rent owner doesn't allow anyone because last day his friends caused a ruckus. Valid but his friends have been coming to his place for the past 4 days and when I asked if I wanted to go, even in the daytime, he had something to say. Maybe that is the truth but he adds we can sneak you in, I felt a bit desperate to agree to that so I said no and refused to be dropped by him at my home. He realized I was mad and left me, something I never even do to him but okay, I broke down and started having a mental breakdown and having no one, I decided to call him back to vent, which is something I never do because venting to him or anyone never makes me feel validated.
I know how you can make friends feel heard if not good when they have to let something out and at the moment no one around me does that at the moment which is fine like no one should be giving me therapy or something. Anyway, I was crying and he said he'd listen and not get mad I explained to him that being secretive makes me feel weird and what is to hide leading to a conversation where I asked him to show the texts. He denies which is weird so after a lot of pressing like if you don't show it agree that you're hiding something, he shows it. My man was singing her songs and she was too while he told me he would sleep, at 3 am and is calling her voice cute like it's so hard to get called cute as his girlfriend like wtf. I was like bitch wtf it's over but my low self-esteem ass wanted to fix stuff. I go home and beg him to talk and after lots of begging we talk, he first invalidates me then I break down and admit that he is wrong. This somehow leads to him having a full-blown mental breakdown of crying and throwing up and I feel bad.
Things got better then and we were normal, we'd move away after a while so really wanted to hang out at his place but he never said it himself anymore which he used to do it all the time before. This makes me sad, anyways he keeps making me feel bad saying always blame him, LIKE YOU DID THOSE THINGS TF? I was tired of that, and he started a fight saying I always blame him when I just said that I have been wanting to come to his place and you don't tell me to come by yourself, it always you can if you want to, you will have to sneak in. Liken it always felt like it was all from my side so although I tried to understand him, I told him again that I wanna hang out at his place like the desperate idiot I am, and after his same reply, I said it feels like you don't want it and he said I'm again blaming him. This was still funny banter until he started yelling again. Like just refused to listen like I did something.
So here is where I stand now. I am someone who tries to maintain a healthy relationship and can leave when things go bad but since my self-esteem is so low I end up staying with him. He isn't a good boyfriend I know it, but maybe I'm too stupid and this is what I deserve. He is way cool and prettier and seems to be beyond my league sometimes and the girls he talks to are so much prettier but I just can't. I keep forgiving him and it's so stupid. I don't know what to do or how to start to leave. What should be the exit plan if needed? And the reason why I wrote this, many times I just feel like, I am the asshole.

I was in a situationship about a year ago and he slow faded me in the late summer and fall. I sent a text after not hearing from him for a month (and sending a couple check-in texts that he ignored) saying basically I can take a hint. He never responded. I see him around because we’re in the same community. He completely ignores me as though I do not exist. Honestly that situation crushed me and it’s really done a number on my self esteem.
I think I was starting to move forward, until I learned recently that he’s been seeing someone else from the same community for a few months now. I know, it’s been a long time and he has a right to be with someone else. I just feel so devastated because I can’t shake the inner narrative that I wasn’t good enough for him, and she is. Has anyone been able to reframe a situation like this? How did you rebuild your self esteem?

You dare not use the "P Word."
P_G draws all the looneys out; the type of crazy person that will say anything to derail the conversation; the type of hand wringing that makes it obvious there is a cover up going on.
David Seaman has alerts set up so that he is ready to respond to any P_G post within moments, to insert disinformation about James Alefantis being a Rothschild and intentionally, always, forgetting the fact that "I've never had an affair before" is the end of an email thread that describes providing three young girls for entertainment.
The P_G terrifies shills and it terrifies elites such that they spent billions trying to bury the story and make it even seem dangerous to talk about. The over-the-top suppressive response was what drew a lot of people's attention.
On Reddit, you can see the censorship at work; the most reasonable answer, awarded "Reddit Gold" is deleted.
https://i.imgur.com/teOOQPI.png
rareddit allows one to see what Reddit has deleted. In this case, we see that Reuters set of a "strawman argument" about a basement, while ignoring the real focus; the convicted pedophiles; the satanic imagery; the corruption. Reuters is a corrupt mouthpiece of the elite.
https://i.imgur.com/HZ2S8lF.png
Reuters recycled an old trope from another child sex story in Britain, "There is no basement, so there is no child abuse." The problem is that Reuters and James Alefantis lied to you. Why would they lie about a basement?
https://i.imgur.com/3Vsgpbz.jpg
Ben Swann did a 5 minute run down, which is the best introduction to the issue:
Here is the video:
https://gvid.tv/v/XzjlMh
Here is a screenshot of the opening:
https://i.imgur.com/U6oQa28.png
But notice he says, in regards to John Podesta's emails "none mention child sex trafficking".
There is literally a file called "Italy Child Sex." There is the hot tub email. Ben Swann does a pretty good job of balancing what he is and isn't allowed to say, but his summary leaves a lot to be desired.
https://i.imgur.com/o3Tyt1e.png
He does mention the "code words." "Cheese pizza" has been used as an alternative way of referring to "child porn" on the Internet, for years. 4chan even organically invented a way to deal with "cheese pizza" threads, by inserting pictures of spider man to fill the threads to limit.
"Dr. Pizza", a journalist with Ars Technica, staunchly denied Pizzagate was real, but was then caught as being a pedophile. Dojo Pizzeria was tied to an arrest. "The Pizza Connection Trial" involved using pizzerias for laundering money from drugs and human trafficking. There are plenty of red flags.
https://i.imgur.com/zBygdzo.png
Megyn Kelly did the most unjournalistic interview, possible, of James Alefantis in order to help cover up the crimes involved. She leaves out the blackmail case, Laura Silsby, the pedo musicians (Sex Stains, Majestic Ape), the satanic imagery on Alefantis' Instagram, the babies, drugs and money on Instagram, and on and on. Megyn Kelly is not just the dumbest reporter, there is, she is intentionally blind to the obvious.
https://i.imgur.com/IeLc8Rd.png
It is worth noting that Alefantis allowed a camera into the pizzeria to show a bullet hole in the computer, claiming that it went through the door first... but there is no bullet hole in the door.
https://i.imgur.com/orQNaSY.png
Megyn Kelly expresses horror, sympathy over Pizzagate in first interview with Comet Ping Pong owner
https://archive.ph/mC7q7
A fake media narrative was set up that discussing this topic was dangerous, when they staged a scene where son of an FBI agent "show up" Comet Ping Pong. A "False Flag" shooting.
https://i.imgur.com/7GN1Mzv.png
The lie was obvious. Why would a "P_G Researcher" shoot a computer that supposedly housed all the evidence?
https://i.imgur.com/qeX1oVG.jpg
Despite the suppression and spin of the story, it continued to gather steam on the Internet, resulting in entire communities being banned; tens of thousands of people blocked from viewing any content.
Before Reddit completely banned P_G subreddit, this was one of the last posts (which was deleted along with everything else.)
https://i.imgur.com/DKJkdQJ.png
Given all of the corruption and cover ups we know about, it is no surprise that P_G has been reduced to nothing more than a footnote in conspiracy forums. But, when there are new developments, thousands of people take notice, though they no longer discuss it, from fear of being banned.
The last corners of the Internet where people were allowed to discuss, were heavily shilled and monitored by SITE Intelligence Group (Mossad cut out that makes fake threat reports) and their allies, so that they could be labeled "extremists."
Even in those dark corners of the Internet, the issues were still being pushed and still causing some progress to be made; if nothing else, then they at least continued raising awareness.
https://i.imgur.com/sIjplTL.png
Project FLICKER
https://i.imgur.com/5LthZW1.png
Sodomy, bribery: The case against Terry Bean
https://archive.ph/n0UNJ
Ed Buck Sentenced to 30 Years in Federal Prison for Providing Methamphetamine to Two Victims Who Suffered Fatal Overdoses
https://archive.ph/70944
Adam Schiff and a Writer for "Lucifer"
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png
Adam Schiff. Ed Buck. Ted Lieu.
https://i.imgur.com/OXDXY9Q.png
P_G did not pop out of thin air. Not only was pizza already in wide use as a code word, John Podesta already had a reputation for being involved in blackmail rings.
https://i.imgur.com/s6P9uJF.png
Comet P1ng P0ng already had a reputation of documenting wild parties. Nevermind, whether or not, that could be Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table; why would there even be two women dressed to look like Hillary and Huma on a ping pong table? And why would that be recorded and then rebroadcast at Comet?
https://i.imgur.com/8FRaQAb.png
Notice the Pentagram on the Pizza, on the poster in the girl of the room who made the video of "Sex Stains" at Comet.
https://i.imgur.com/uEgcYJP.jpg
Here is her family. Draw whatever conclusions you like.
https://archive.ph/WA4lM
The research continued, but the astroturfing stuck to the same tired arguments that were now, officially, debunked.
https://i.imgur.com/pGuTcie.jpg
P_G drew so many people not because of a basement, or a specific allegation; people were drawn in because it pulled together so many issues under one umbrella, resulting in a series of cascading epiphanies that was neurologically rewarding researchers.
https://i.imgur.com/1NLY4de.png
It is now deleted, but my recollection of when P_G "broke" was on the now banned "The Donald" subreddit, when, along with the realization that John Podesta and James Alefantis were connected in a number of ways (David Brock even claimed they were dating in a video interview), the "FBIAnon" post about Hillary Clinton being involved in human trafficking, the connection with Marina Abramovic and "Spirit Cooking", and the "Edible Schoolyard"... the question emerged organically...
https://i.imgur.com/j1vhVmI.png
"Are these people joking about eating kids?"
https://i.imgur.com/udXqU5T.png
This is what the media and government was really trying to hide. Whether it was true or not, people asking the question is enough to destroy nearly every single career politician, CEO and news outlet that helped cover it up; as well it should.
https://i.imgur.com/BjVwBKr.png
All of the other corruption is bad enough, but these people are practically bragging about it on social media.
https://i.imgur.com/EXBPYZa.png
In The Secret Teachings of All Ages, we are introduced to a number of ancient rituals that date back prior to the written word. One of these rituals was to be buried alive. One might say a sensory deprivation tank is the modern version, but we keep seeing child sized coffins in the social media of this group of people.
https://i.imgur.com/xHh29a7.png
"Marina" was who Hillary Clinton was printing classified material for. Here is Marina Abramovic with John of God.
https://i.imgur.com/Q3L7A0r.png
Marina with boy.
https://i.imgur.com/7PFEISA.png
Marina with girl.
https://i.imgur.com/Mu0mhYr.png
People have every right to question what is going on with these images.
https://i.imgur.com/uzRNGCj.png
Note: Tamara Luzzatto is not actually their grandmother. But, she is in Sydney Blumenthal’s contacts, along with half of DC. The other half? Have her husband in their contact list.
https://i.imgur.com/HiVEmyI.png
Marina Abramovic, Marco Brambilla, Jeff Dupre
https://i.imgur.com/utVX6tg.png
Marina's "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/CqRsMDZ.png
More "Art".
https://i.imgur.com/EGq6cag.png
A cannibalism reference?
https://i.imgur.com/7tcDgUE.png
Marina and Rothschild.
https://i.imgur.com/jvZ7XTW.png
Marina and Dr. Oz?
https://i.imgur.com/aFM9ayl.png
Similar to the Finders ritual?
https://i.imgur.com/PpSmLBH.png
Many of the researchers on the Internet were correct and their research was borne out with the arrest of Epstein, Maxwell, Nygard, Brunel and others.
Bill Clinton denied, but he lied.
https://i.imgur.com/i2uInFa.jpg
Nobody was yet talking about Maxwell and Epstein stealing babies.
https://i.imgur.com/hJP7I5W.png
The Finders files were not yet public in October of 2016.
This story, though guessed at by P_G researchers, was also borne out.
Secret CIA Files Say Staffers Committed Sex Crimes Involving Children
https://archive.ph/L6C9F
CNN Producers were not yet arrested for trying to build their own sex slave networks.
https://archive.ph/3n11T
Another former CNN producer under investigation for child sex crimes
https://archive.ph/c13rY
Comey had not been exposed, yet, in October of 2016, of ordering a cover up of P_G. The IG report with emails from Comey's personal account had not been released, yet.
"A Serious Woman*
https://i.imgur.com/x9sj7cB.png
Coleman Notes:
https://i.imgur.com/KNwKJRT.png
The Anthony Weiner Laptop:
https://i.imgur.com/AyvYFUf.png
Brett Blomme, a juvenile court judge, had not yet been arrested, where he and his husband were sexually abusing their adopted children and uploading the recordings of it to Kik, gave out kids, using the legal system, to his pedo friends.
https://i.imgur.com/fzO0K70.png
Adam Schiff and Ed Buck are both into young black men.
https://i.imgur.com/oxPCj0Z.png Epstein Didn't Kill Himself. But, someone went to a lot of trouble making a fake video to try and convince us he did.
https://i.imgur.com/1aK08wN.png
All of the evidence disappeared.
https://i.imgur.com/b661F86.jpg
"Minimum Security" Maxwell's Customers Are Still Free.
https://i.imgur.com/NokPzFZ.png
A Mossad blackmail ring was, more or less, operating out in the open and anyone who complained about it was treated like they were crazy. This went on for decades, and, then, it turns out everyone who was complaining was, not only right, but that it was worse than anyone was willing to let on.
https://i.imgur.com/Fr11sR5.jpg
Former Israeli Intel Official Claims Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell Worked for Israel
https://archive.ph/Sja88
Former Spy Details Israel’s Main Motive Behind Epstein’s Sexual Blackmail Operation
https://archive.ph/IeBgO
Epstein's blackmail ring was never the only game in town.
Jean-Luc Brunel: Epstein associate found dead in Paris prison cell
https://archive.ph/2R41A
Fashion Mogul Set to Face Sex-Trafficking Charges in U.S.
https://archive.ph/nMs3v
This all happened AFTER Reuters insisted that P_G was fake.
Even prior to October of 2016, there was already a great deal of public information that should have been very concerning. There was plenty of reason to have legitimate concerns about Comet P1ng P0ng when some weird information started to come out.
Before Comet P1ng P0ng made the spotlight, most people were not aware of information that was already available.
Jeffrey Epstein was accused of sex trafficking young girls on his mysterious private island. Over 40 years ago, a different millionaire escaped justice in a stunningly similar case.
https://archive.ph/8ivRh
Ghislaine Maxwell's father was an Israeli spy and she almost certainly inherited his blackmail operation. Robert Maxwell was also involved in text books for the US educational system.
*The “Anti-Extremism” Think Tank Started by Sons of Israeli Superspy Robert Maxwell *
https://archive.ph/lCvQ6
Mega Group, Maxwells and Mossad: The Spy Story at the Heart of the Jeffrey Epstein Scandal
https://archive.ph/A6dsG
Roy Cohn was another blackmail ring operator and mentor of Donald Trump.
https://i.imgur.com/Pnly1CT.png
The Hellfire Club
https://archive.ph/LrXni
When James Jameson Bought A Girl Just To Watch Her Be Eaten By Cannibals
https://archive.ph/3YT1d
You will be cooked into a kebap if you are too uppity about it and the police will do nothing.
https://i.imgur.com/X7kdBG4.png
Clinton's faith healer, Oprah's friend, John of God, with a baby farm and in jail for sexually abusing hundreds of women. The Chicago Ripper Crew. The Franklin Scandal. UN Child Sex Abuse. None of this stuff is new.
https://i.imgur.com/cvkO8Ix.jpg
DynCorp
https://i.imgur.com/cMndyxc.png
Bacha Bazi
https://i.imgur.com/gaNSXaH.png
Cover Ups.
https://i.imgur.com/a1fAvlo.png
More cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/fSir93g.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/hlV5aAe.png
And more cover ups.
https://i.imgur.com/FyzLh0e.png
And more cover ups.
https://archive.ph/sAu38
How many pedophiles are the Clintons tied to? I've lost count.
https://i.imgur.com/dcXvCNm.jpg
James Alefantis and David Brock
https://i.imgur.com/sxTSS5p.png
Lawsuit of David Brock and James Alefantis
https://i.imgur.com/lHFkcNy.png
Media Matters for America
https://i.imgur.com/oxE9aPs.png
Exclusive Access to money laundering through art.
https://i.imgur.com/Gl1ds8y.png
Friends with Police
https://i.imgur.com/aYc1Xuq.png
Heather Podesta on the Board.
https://i.imgur.com/y01Onag.png
But P_G was more than just about research into what was going on politically, or into James Alefantis obvious satanic proclivities and his obvious attraction to children. What was revealed was a dark nexus of media, politics and these weirdo cultists.
There was a widespread epiphany of a great many people that this degeneracy was being intentionally pushed by people who were occultists and wanted everyone else wrapped up in their dark religion. And when we said, "No", they collectively lost their minds.
It should also being concerning that Kamala Harris was tied to Comet, as well, and, seemingly, a top choice for John Podesta to run for office. Considering her ties to fake police...
https://i.imgur.com/vgai2ns.png
In Your Own Homes It is becoming increasingly more difficult to resist these forces from coming into your own home; particularly if you have children.
The pedophiles reading to kids in drag is nothing new to anyone.
Drag Queen Story Hour
https://i.imgur.com/1vg4oCF.png
Alberto Garza
https://i.imgur.com/HjE2JQg.png
William Dees
https://i.imgur.com/7MPhRV0.png
Sasha Sota
https://i.imgur.com/VgQZW8n.png
The bottom line is that the media, the disgusting shills on the Internet, the FBI and many other groups are involved in covering up these crimes because their political agendas demand it.
https://i.redd.it/odn6da1goud91.png
https://i.redd.it/kkqtau7vzec91.png
https://i.redd.it/wna38dwq9mb91.jpg
https://i.redd.it/vhtxtx5p53h91.png
https://i.redd.it/66q2o2axzya91.png
https://i.redd.it/zli9expz18h91.png
https://i.redd.it/4odftufizya91.png
https://i.redd.it/evleoe2uo6b91.jpg
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https://i.redd.it/zsrbvlo2e2b91.png
https://i.redd.it/vm58sq6t63h91.png
https://i.redd.it/2xooybv1mxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/doxt15ibkxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/285eue79zfb91.png
https://i.redd.it/3zvz15n4zfb91.png
https://i.redd.it/kr5ql6tgb7b91.png
https://i.redd.it/drg7ctpme2b91.png
https://i.redd.it/03lmdltuc0b91.png
https://i.redd.it/0pwf7fa9pxb91.png
https://i.redd.it/cik0p525pza91.png

I sought oblivion and calm respite, my path forged through sensation and blinding excess. I explored depravity, ventured into the darkness never mapped, until I swept past Experience witnessed only by the gods.
Thus became I a voyager upon delights unknown, my ship named only, 'Sweet Departure.'
Erasma, the One we Forgot
It begins with hope...
An escape from the Kinstrife and the Fall of Cyr'Cairn. Refuge from the Wyrm Hunt and the retribution it brings on wings of fire. Safety from the Gallow Night - safety from the hell created piece by piece from our own hands. Something different, a chance for change amidst a world trapped in its clockwork permenance; forever onwards, forever forwards, no rest nor peace for the engine.
And it begins with hope, but by its very nature it cannot end the same way - hope either comes true...
Or it does not.
The ships have brought to sail - the great winds brings us ever further from the madness of our home caught in self-inflicted self-annihilation, and we march towards the great unknown knowing whatever secrets it hold must be better than the certainty of our past lives. Even in death we will bring discovery and new fortune, excitement, and most importantly...
We will bring hope - that the sins of our fathers are not the sins of the son. That the madness we flee is not carried within our every waking breath. Hope... Hope eternal that we are different than from what we were forged. Always hope...
Because only time will tell if it is true.
Welcome to The Eastland Expedition, a Pathfinder 2nd Edition Campaign for 4-5 Players set in the Homebrew setting of Clockworld that has recently started and is in need of new players due to scheduling conflicts discovered early on. We are welcoming group who enjoy the social interaction, humour, and general companionship of the game - as much as we enjoy a serious story with well-defined characters taking part in an epic struggle of exploration and survival against the bleak unknown.
This campaign features our party, freshly set sail from the distant west of Amilyn - voyaging to a new world across the Ashuran Ocean in search of... Wealth? Power? Glory? A chance to be part of something great? The character's motives are as varied as the novelities we shall discover, from blackguards of bitter repute to knights in shining armour and gallant repose to mercenaries and thrill-seekers without a care for anything but the chance to make it somewhere else.
The story will take us across the breadth of the New World in discovery of where it is you have landed - feature the political difficulties of bridging your patron's desires with the necessity of surviving in a realm that does not welcome you, and more important - the freedom to not just build your nation and settlement as you see fit, but to impact the very story of Clockworld itself.
This game is welcoming to players new to the system, as we as a group ourselves have only recently started to learn the game - and we are happy to learn alongside you. I am a relaxed and patient Storyteller who enjoys the social fabric of OOC conversation as much as the in-game narrative - provided it does not serve to derail the campaign too much. I am happy to answer questions as often as needed, and provided any explanations regarding the rules or lore as required; no matter how simple the request might be.
My door is always open - and I am happy to field any feedback, criticisms or complaints that you may have. I do my utmost to ensure this is a safe game where everyone can have fun and relax. As part of this, we are entirely LGBTQ+ Friendly, and the setting itself is free for characters of all persuasions, creeds, and ethnicities. This is a Flat-World Fantasy set upon a Giant Clock - as long as the characters fit within the general fabric of the setting, there will be no complaints.
Since I do put a lot of effort into my campaings - from the World Anvil I maintain to the battlemaps and the effort required to create a story as wide-reaching and free as this; I do expect a certain modicum of respect in return. Primarily, while real life must always come first - repeated lateness and missed sessions without a good reason can cause me great difficulty in keeping the rhythm and momentum of the story, and will not be appreciated over any extended period. The same can be said to rudeness aimed at other players, and while I understand humour can take a while to get used to, and come in many different styles - targeted harrassment will not be tolerated in the slightest, and you will be removed from the game.
Lastly - the game will detail violence and graphic content. Concepts such as homophobia, transphobia, and sexisim do not exist within the setting as I do not feel I could give them due deference with the story I am telling, and while mental illness and addiction may feature - I will only do so when I feel I can treat them with the respect and seriousness the conditions deserve. Any limits provided to me by players however, will be respected immediately; without any explanation required - and a red card system is utilised should a scene stray too close to a previous-stated limit, or steps upon something that was not discussed prior but is causing distress. At any point this is happening, you may message either me or the server and we will immediately end the scene and discuss where we went wrong - so that we can avoid such a thing occuring again.
If this rambling wall of text did not put you off - then please feel free to leave a comment or send me a DM with your interest in the campaign. The application is mostly up for you to determine - though at least a vague concept of a character and a reason this campaign drew you to apply would be appreciated. You may send a Reddit Chat - but I cannot guarantee I will see the message quickly.
Should I like what I see, I will send an invitation for a brief interview to see how we get along as player and storyteller. There is nothing to prepare, just a simple chat with a few questions to get a baseline for each other and whether we'll be a good fit.
The game will be taking place on Discord and Foundry - Characters will be starting at Level Two in line with the rest of the party, and all classes are available to be played. Where possible we will be sticking with Player Core Content, but where Legacy Options exist that have not yet been updated, we will be open to including them as well.
Thank you all very much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
World Map
Player Guide

Long message/ narrative over the last two years which has been troubling me. Also, I don't know if my story really fit in here. Haven't used this app much. Apologies to the moderato admin of the community.
I'm 30 yo male. I got married on 19 Feb 22 and just completed 2 yrs. The last 2 years have been very difficult for me and I had thoughts of commiting suicide multiple times. Now, somehow those thoughts have stopped.
My legally wedded (28 yo as on date) has done nothing but tarnished my image in the society, my peers, juniors and seniors of the office. She shouted on me, threw things on me and even held knife on my throat.
My sex life was also never good in these last 2 years. I never forced her for anything or put any kind of pressure on her and yet she pushed when it came to my pleasure. I was very deliberate and concerned about her pleasure and always kept mine at a backfoot. After giving her a good orgasm, she always said that she's tired and asked me to move and that she wants to sleep. I always did it. Towards end of 23, I even found her tinder profile.
We were already under marriage counselo psychologist since May 22 (calling her 'A') and that too it was my wife who wanted to go for it. Post that in Dec 22, we went for another psychologist/ counselor (calling her 'B') as well. And my wife was reluctant to change her behavior.
She even put false allegations (of having an affair with another of her colleague) on one of my senior under whom she was working and shouted on him on multiple occasions including their official meetings. (Let's say her organization is Z and mine is A. I work along with this senior in organization A and he's also the boss of organization Z in which she works)
I've heard her talking bad and ill about me to others in her family and other known ladies here in the society. I also have those recordings when she's talking like that about me. Also, I have photos and videos of her WhatsApp chats where I caught her cheating on me with a considerable older man (got suspicious from Apr 22). I have her chats where they were sexting. When she got suspicious that I might know, she changed the platform to telegram and then to signal. But again, I was able to track her sexting on all the other platforms. Once I confronted her (Feb 23 on first anniversary), she never accepted her mistake and said that as per her she never did anything wrong. A few months later, I see another of her chats with her ex. Before marriage, she did tell me about her ex and said that never happened anything between them apart from holding hands. I kept an eye on the chats and I find that as late as 1 in the night they were on a video call which lasted close to an hour. A few days later when she was heading to her home (in Jun 23), myka, I see her text telling him that she wants to meet him and she's OK getting physical with him. And then confirms if the place to get physical will be the same like earlier, the corner seat in the theater. This got me very furious and I did not want her to come back. Which I made clear to her and her parents. Even then her parents never believed me and she was always the best manipulater and denied the same and denied this sort of talk which I claim had happened.
All this while, the counselor A, I've been in touch with her. When these things happened, I told her and my parents everything. Both, they asked me to give her another chance and after a series of conference call between me and my wife and counselor A being the moderator, finally she came back after close to 5 months, just before Diwali last year. And even that was painful. We flew to my parents place for diwali and again lots of things and fights happened. Post diwali, my parents shifted with me permanently. First week of Dec, she scratched my mother, then pushed and kicked and my mother fell badly hurting herself and sustaining injury in her flesh area of the ribs. It was very bad few weeks for her. Even the doc said her to get admitted thinking that even I'm with my wife in hurting my mother. She held on to my laptop, hugging it, which I had given my father to work on. My parents said, let us delete the files stored on it and then you can keep it and then words were exchanged and that is when she did all those things to my mother.
Since that day onwards, it's been 5 months that we are living separated. She's living in her home with her parents and me here with my parents. I've decided and made up my mind for a divorce. But I'm not sure even if I hold any ground to file a divorce. Also, the courts and law in our country mostly favours the opposite sex, the females.
Need advice/ help as to what should I do. Thanks in advance.

Long message/ narrative over the last two years which has been troubling me. Also, I don't know if my story really fit in here. Haven't used this app much. Apologies to the moderato admin of the community.
I'm 30 yo male. I got married on 19 Feb 22 and just completed 2 yrs. The last 2 years have been very difficult for me and I had thoughts of commiting suicide multiple times. Now, somehow those thoughts have stopped.
My legally wedded (28 yo as on date) has done nothing but tarnished my image in the society, my peers, juniors and seniors of the office. She shouted on me, threw things on me and even held knife on my throat.
My sex life was also never good in these last 2 years. I never forced her for anything or put any kind of pressure on her and yet she pushed when it came to my pleasure. I was very deliberate and concerned about her pleasure and always kept mine at a backfoot. After giving her a good orgasm, she always said that she's tired and asked me to move and that she wants to sleep. I always did it. Towards end of 23, I even found her tinder profile.
We were already under marriage counselo psychologist since May 22 (calling her 'A') and that too it was my wife who wanted to go for it. Post that in Dec 22, we went for another psychologist/ counselor (calling her 'B') as well. And my wife was reluctant to change her behavior.
She even put false allegations (of having an affair with another of her colleague) on one of my senior under whom she was working and shouted on him on multiple occasions including their official meetings. (Let's say her organization is Z and mine is A. I work along with this senior in organization A and he's also the boss of organization Z in which she works)
I've heard her talking bad and ill about me to others in her family and other known ladies here in the society. I also have those recordings when she's talking like that about me. Also, I have photos and videos of her WhatsApp chats where I caught her cheating on me with a considerable older man (got suspicious from Apr 22). I have her chats where they were sexting. When she got suspicious that I might know, she changed the platform to telegram and then to signal. But again, I was able to track her sexting on all the other platforms. Once I confronted her (Feb 23 on first anniversary), she never accepted her mistake and said that as per her she never did anything wrong. A few months later, I see another of her chats with her ex. Before marriage, she did tell me about her ex and said that never happened anything between them apart from holding hands. I kept an eye on the chats and I find that as late as 1 in the night they were on a video call which lasted close to an hour. A few days later when she was heading to her home (in Jun 23), myka, I see her text telling him that she wants to meet him and she's OK getting physical with him. And then confirms if the place to get physical will be the same like earlier, the corner seat in the theater. This got me very furious and I did not want her to come back. Which I made clear to her and her parents. Even then her parents never believed me and she was always the best manipulater and denied the same and denied this sort of talk which I claim had happened.
All this while, the counselor A, I've been in touch with her. When these things happened, I told her and my parents everything. Both, they asked me to give her another chance and after a series of conference call between me and my wife and counselor A being the moderator, finally she came back after close to 5 months, just before Diwali last year. And even that was painful. We flew to my parents place for diwali and again lots of things and fights happened. Post diwali, my parents shifted with me permanently. First week of Dec, she scratched my mother, then pushed and kicked and my mother fell badly hurting herself and sustaining injury in her flesh area of the ribs. It was very bad few weeks for her. Even the doc said her to get admitted thinking that even I'm with my wife in hurting my mother. She held on to my laptop, hugging it, which I had given my father to work on. My parents said, let us delete the files stored on it and then you can keep it and then words were exchanged and that is when she did all those things to my mother.
Since that day onwards, it's been 5 months that we are living separated. She's living in her home with her parents and me here with my parents. I've decided and made up my mind for a divorce. But I'm not sure even if I hold any ground to file a divorce. Also, the courts and law in our country mostly favours the opposite sex, the females.
Need advice/ help as to what should I do. Thanks in advance.

I sought oblivion and calm respite, my path forged through sensation and blinding excess. I explored depravity, ventured into the darkness never mapped, until I swept past Experience witnessed only by the gods.
Thus became I a voyager upon delights unknown, my ship named only, 'Sweet Departure.'
Erasma, the One we Forgot
It begins with hope...
An escape from the Kinstrife and the Fall of Cyr'Cairn. Refuge from the Wyrm Hunt and the retribution it brings on wings of fire. Safety from the Gallow Night - safety from the hell created piece by piece from our own hands. Something different, a chance for change amidst a world trapped in its clockwork permenance; forever onwards, forever forwards, no rest nor peace for the engine.
And it begins with hope, but by its very nature it cannot end the same way - hope either comes true...
Or it does not.
The ships have brought to sail - the great winds brings us ever further from the madness of our home caught in self-inflicted self-annihilation, and we march towards the great unknown knowing whatever secrets it hold must be better than the certainty of our past lives. Even in death we will bring discovery and new fortune, excitement, and most importantly...
We will bring hope - that the sins of our fathers are not the sins of the son. That the madness we flee is not carried within our every waking breath. Hope... Hope eternal that we are different than from what we were forged. Always hope...
Because only time will tell if it is true.
Welcome to The Eastland Expedition, a Pathfinder 2nd Edition Campaign for 4-5 Players set in the Homebrew setting of Clockworld that has recently started and is in need of new players due to scheduling conflicts discovered early on. We are welcoming group who enjoy the social interaction, humour, and general companionship of the game - as much as we enjoy a serious story with well-defined characters taking part in an epic struggle of exploration and survival against the bleak unknown.
This campaign features our party, freshly set sail from the distant west of Amilyn - voyaging to a new world across the Ashuran Ocean in search of... Wealth? Power? Glory? A chance to be part of something great? The character's motives are as varied as the novelities we shall discover, from blackguards of bitter repute to knights in shining armour and gallant repose to mercenaries and thrill-seekers without a care for anything but the chance to make it somewhere else.
The story will take us across the breadth of the New World in discovery of where it is you have landed - feature the political difficulties of bridging your patron's desires with the necessity of surviving in a realm that does not welcome you, and more important - the freedom to not just build your nation and settlement as you see fit, but to impact the very story of Clockworld itself.
This game is welcoming to players new to the system, as we as a group ourselves have only recently started to learn the game - and we are happy to learn alongside you. I am a relaxed and patient Storyteller who enjoys the social fabric of OOC conversation as much as the in-game narrative - provided it does not serve to derail the campaign too much. I am happy to answer questions as often as needed, and provided any explanations regarding the rules or lore as required; no matter how simple the request might be.
My door is always open - and I am happy to field any feedback, criticisms or complaints that you may have. I do my utmost to ensure this is a safe game where everyone can have fun and relax. As part of this, we are entirely LGBTQ+ Friendly, and the setting itself is free for characters of all persuasions, creeds, and ethnicities. This is a Flat-World Fantasy set upon a Giant Clock - as long as the characters fit within the general fabric of the setting, there will be no complaints.
Since I do put a lot of effort into my campaings - from the World Anvil I maintain to the battlemaps and the effort required to create a story as wide-reaching and free as this; I do expect a certain modicum of respect in return. Primarily, while real life must always come first - repeated lateness and missed sessions without a good reason can cause me great difficulty in keeping the rhythm and momentum of the story, and will not be appreciated over any extended period. The same can be said to rudeness aimed at other players, and while I understand humour can take a while to get used to, and come in many different styles - targeted harrassment will not be tolerated in the slightest, and you will be removed from the game.
Lastly - the game will detail violence and graphic content. Concepts such as homophobia, transphobia, and sexisim do not exist within the setting as I do not feel I could give them due deference with the story I am telling, and while mental illness and addiction may feature - I will only do so when I feel I can treat them with the respect and seriousness the conditions deserve. Any limits provided to me by players however, will be respected immediately; without any explanation required - and a red card system is utilised should a scene stray too close to a previous-stated limit, or steps upon something that was not discussed prior but is causing distress. At any point this is happening, you may message either me or the server and we will immediately end the scene and discuss where we went wrong - so that we can avoid such a thing occuring again.
If this rambling wall of text did not put you off - then please feel free to leave a comment or send me a DM with your interest in the campaign. The application is mostly up for you to determine - though at least a vague concept of a character and a reason this campaign drew you to apply would be appreciated. You may send a Reddit Chat - but I cannot guarantee I will see the message quickly.
Should I like what I see, I will send an invitation for a brief interview to see how we get along as player and storyteller. There is nothing to prepare, just a simple chat with a few questions to get a baseline for each other and whether we'll be a good fit.
The game will be taking place on Discord and Foundry - Characters will be starting at Level Two in line with the rest of the party, and all classes are available to be played. Where possible we will be sticking with Player Core Content, but where Legacy Options exist that have not yet been updated, we will be open to including them as well.
Thank you all very much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
World Map
Player Guide

Hey Guys,
So you may be aware that western scholarship has been approaching the topic of the preservation of the Quran in depth. In the 70s, Patricia Crone wrote Hagarism which led to the development of the Revisionist School of Quranic studies. They said that because the Quran mentions vegetation and because Mecca wasn’t as large as a trading hub as Muslim tradition represents, and because the Quran seems to reference such a wide gamut of sources, it was impossible that the Quran was compiled in Arabia, but must have been in Petra or a city with greater links to the wider world, and that it was written by comities over three hundred years after the prophet.
The secondary claim of the academics is that none of the Hadith literature can be trusted. Now, I do believe that some of the Hadith (perhaps more than we assume) may have been corrupted, but I do think academia is far too dismissive of the historicity of the hadith completely. I read the Hadith in precisely the same way that I read the old testament: both contain some Wahi - or revelation - but neither is the word of God verbatim, and if anything in them directly contradicts the Quran or aql, I reject it outright. That being said, I do believe some of it is historical and goes back to the prophet and is therefore part of the Sunnah and is Wahi.
Returning to our discussion: the discovery of the Sanaa’ palimpsest put the revisionist theory to rest as the entire Quran has now been attested to around 650 - Uthman’s Quran. However scholarship has not yet been able to conclude the historicity of Abubakar’s Quran. I have attached my arguments (I have not included the arguments of the person I was discussing with because I do not have his permission to repost).
I was wondering what you think of this argument, or whether any of you are capable of carrying out or redesigning the experiment I outline here to prove the likely historicity of Abubakar’s Quran. Please note, I take on a secular tone in the text because that’s the rules of that forum which I respect, it’s academia not apologetics, not because I believe in the ideology. However, here, I hope to see what you think.
POST 1
Dr. Van Putten points out there is significant orthographic consistency in Quranic manuscripts, highlighting the way the name Ibrahim is spelled for instance.
Do you believe this could demonstrate elements of the original compilation of the Quran under Abu Bakar ?
My argument is fairly simple:

1. Uthman’s recension was done to prevent variants and to maintain a uniform authoritative codex.
2. Given that context, it doesn’t make sense to have variant spellings of proper nouns like names in a standardised text, particularly in verses adjacent to eachother which would be jarring.
3. This is not due to the fact that orthography wasn’t important, as we see meticulous care to retain the variant orthographical features across manuscripts.
4. Given the push for uniformity, there must have been a stronger push factor / reason to retain the lack of uniformity in a project whose entire purpose was uniformity.
5. The most obvious reason is that the original authoritative text that the first compilation (Abu Bakar’s tentatively) was sourced from was fragmentary: ie sourced from different fragments written by several different scribes each of whom had different spellings of proper nouns - the collection of this fragmentary material (written on perishable items according to tradition - led to the first compilation project which retained the variant spellings in the Abubakar Archetype). The Uthmanic recension had access to the Abubakar archetype but the variant spellings were retained because the fragmentary verses held the highest authority. Zaid was said to be in charge of both projects.
6. Since the original manuscript (Abu Bakar’s) was personal property of the Caliph (and wasn’t copied or in distribution until Uthman) other variants were not destroyed according to the traditional narrative, other stemma could have formed either from companion codexes or from the Uthmanic codex forward (the variants being sourced from other physically attested fragmentary pieces - therefore justifying their inclusion.
7. The most likely scenario for the text we see in my mind is the tradition: a fragmentary written archetype that was faithfully followed by Zaid ibn Thabit (and variants being included from other fragmentary attestations of the same verses).

So does the orthography suggest the narrative of the original pre-Uthmanic compilation of an authoritative text has legs / should be explored further / is the most cogent explanation of currently available data ?
Dr. Van Putten, I also reference your work in making my argument, so please let me know if I have mischaracterised it, I would also love your thoughts on this theory.
POST 2
Hey, first thank you for your response. What i was trying to say is that the spelling wasn’t standard and varied both between scribes and a single scribe may spell words differently, thats a given.
My actual point is that while that may generally be true, the fact that the uthmanic text more or less faithfully reproduces the set of variant spellings in copies suggests that the uthmanic committiee did care about the spelling, but chose not to make it uniform - otherwise the locations of the variants wouldnt be relatively consistent in copies. This, to me at least, suggests there was an archetype which had the variant spellings, which was respected as an authoritative source ie an earlier written codex which was likely fragmentary.
It’s just an assumption, you’re right, but was wondering if it has legs.
Another way to get to what i’m asking, does the evidence youve found suggest the existence of an earlier written codex as the tradition attests to ? If not, whats a better explanation for what we see ?
POST 3
Thank you again for your response, it's really an honour speaking with you.
“If the first codex wasn't a direct copy of anything,” My argument is that the first codex was a copy of written fragmentary verses.
The consistency of the Uthmanic manuscripts with regards to the spelling convention (whatever the distribution of the way a single word is spelled, that's not my focus, my focus is on the consistency with which each spelling appears in its position across manuscripts) - if that consistency is high, that strongly suggests they were aware of the different spellings because they cared enough about the spellings to reproduce them faithfully in their exact positions, but they didn't change them - and the existence of an authoritative written text that was collected from fragmentary sources / scribes (and therefore had varied spellings) would seem to have the most explanatory power for the data we do see.
What I’m inferring is that if we see this consistency in the location of certain spellings in the Uthmanic text type, the story of Abubakar's Quran explains that data best.
For clarity:
My argument actually doesn’t rely on the distribution between various spellings in the text, but rather on the fact that the position of the various spellings are maintained exactly in copies - i.e. the difference in count between the spellings isn’t relevant to this argument.
If we limit ourselves to a single codification, this creates a conundrum: on one hand they seem to care immensely about the position of various spellings (and therefore implicitly care about the spelling), but on the other hand they don’t see the differences in spellings as significant as obvious variation exists in the text - so the position of various spellings in the text is important, but the fact that there are different spellings of the same word between those precise positions is not important (as there are variants).
POST 4
This is what I reference:
Dr. Van Putten’s findings lit a light bulb off for me: the data makes most sense if the traditional narrative is correct and there were two codifications.
Van Putten: “By examining 14 early Quranic manuscripts, it is shown that this phrase is consistently spelled using only one of the two spellings in the same position in all of these different manuscripts. It is argued that such consistency can only be explained by assuming that all these manuscripts come from a single written archetype, meaning there must have been a codification project sometime in the first century.”
Sidky: “If the first codex wasn't a direct copy of anything, then there is nothing for them to care about.”
But there was something to copy according to the tradition: written fragments that had small chunks of Surahs or just had individual verses. I want to test for that - ie can the orthographic data we have not be random or just chalked up to ancients not caring about spelling, but instead be due to the fact that the verses were transcribed by different scribes. This isn’t a multiple author hypothesis - I don’t think that has credence, it is however an argument that it may be worth testing if the first codex was fragmentary, which would strongly support the traditional narrative.
The first codex wasn’t a written rendition of an oral text according to tradition, it was a compilation of fragmentary verses that were in turn the actual written editions of the oral text. The difference is significant - because if true, and assuming the fragments were small and written by the scribes then the speaker of the oral text would be the prophet himself and the variation would likely be from the prophet or from the scribes mistranscription of what he said - but because they were small fragments, this is less likely.
POST 5
My theory explains this by the strict adherence to the written fragmentary verses that Zayd collected from scribes that wrote them down. Each had a different approach to orthography, but whatever their approach when the original Abubakar Quran was collected their writing held absolute authority as it was written under the supervision of the prophet, so Zayd would be motivated to retain it exactly (if there was more than one attestations of the same verse, for instance an additional article or the lack of one, Zayd could choose to use one fragment in one codex and another fragment in another codex to preserve both as both meet the same conditions of authority). Each scribe likely had different spelling conventions, and likely applied their preferred spelling conventions with differing consistency.
A scribe that wasn’t consistent could have the same word spelled differently in the same verse, and another scribe that was meticulously consistent could have an entire Surah with completely consistent spelling - depending on what fragments were found from which scribes.
Whatever was on those fragments was likely transcribed exactly (as Zayd, the same person in charge of Uthman’s compilation, was also in charge of the first compilation project, and so likely employed the same standard of exact copying of the written text irrespective of spelling variants).
So if the traditional narrative is correct, if we had the original codex we would expect to see some natural variation in the spelling convention because it was collected from various sources with different spelling conventions - if the Uthmanic text faithfully copied that text, whatever the distribution of variants between the various words in number, we would see their exact position meticulously maintained in copies of the Uthmanic codex because the first codex would have had them and would be authoritative.
POST 6

1. The best explanation for why the Uthmanic text maintained orthographic variance is because it copied from an authoritative older written text.
2. The best explanation for why the older written text has variation in the spelling is that it was transcribed by different scribes who spelled things slightly differently. Those initial scribes would have been dictated to directly by the Prophet so their transcription would outweigh all others, so the variants we see could either be due to their mishearing, or assuming the Prophet was illiterate, he would not have been able to enforce spelling conventions, so scribes would have had creative license to write the name in the spelling convention they were most familiar with. So scribes with a Jewish background would be more likely to spell ‫ﺍ‬ ‫ﺑ‬ ‫ﺮ‬ ‫ﻫ‬ ‫ﻢ‬ and those without would spell ‫ﺍ‬ ‫ﺑ‬ ‫ﺮ‬ ‫ﻫ‬ ‫ﻴ‬ ‫ﻢ‬, but if those spellings appeared next to another word like Nimatullah and we see that both one spelling of Abraham appears every time one spelling of nimatullah appears, and a third word with variant spelling in the quran also appears in only one way when the first two have that form, then we can suggest that it comes from a single fragment that had orthographic consistency, and other fragments of the quran with a similar pattern likely come from the same scribe.

If we have a sufficient number of pairings to analyse we can build confidence that all of the verses that adhere to those pairing were written by a single scribe & confirm the Abubakar hypothesis with a degree of statistical confidence, because the story of fragmentary compilation would match the data we see, .

In today's climate of extremism, paranoia, and victimization, I think there may be value in a frank discussion on the topic of free speech.
Free speech is often used in the context of things like 'being cancelled', 'being silenced', or 'being shut down' by companies, the general public, or other private actors.
This is a misunderstanding of the freedom of speech.
In America the freedom of speech comes from the first amendment. The text of which is succinct and quoted below.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The freedom of speech is specifically aimed to limit the powers of the government from dictating what is and is not appropriate speech in the public square.
Being canceled because large segments of the population disagree so strongly with your opinions that they try to 'deplatform' your content is not a violation of free speech.
A content creator banning commentators who negatively impact their channel likewise does not constitute a violation of the first amendment.
Even social media companies having and enforcing a code of conduct for their users does not infringe on the freedom of speech.
We could discuss the lack of a digital public square, the governments role in such an endeavor, and the algorithms and other obstacles such a proposal would have, but that is a different argument to the one I most often see online, even here.
Being bound to NDAs by The Satanic Temple does not violate free speech (unless you really believe the government is controlled by a secret society of Satanists).
I'm not here to pick sides on any of the ongoing issues and fractures within TST, but we must try to ensure we follow Tenet 5, and not warp truth to suit a narrative.
People can express their displeasure with TST leadership, or personality conflicts, etc. without claiming hypocrisy on the topic of freedom of speech.
TST is under no obligation to retain memberships for those who strongly disagree with the organization on certain matters.
We can still discuss the proper role of dissent, how to best handle complaints, how to resolve conflict within the organization (I'm almost certain no one would argue that there isn't room for improvement on those fronts within this fledgling religion).
All that said, I am just a baby goat, a friend of Satan, a pledge without full membership rights who has no idea regarding what goes on behind the scenes or anything. I am merely looking at the way discourse is unfolding online in a vitriolic and inaccurate framing that seems meant to inflame passions rather than constructively debate and discuss these real and perceived issues.
Let me know what you think!

(posted this in a different subreddit earlier)
The year is 2024, and things are not looking good for the Democrats.
Joe Biden is constantly plagued by infighting within his ranks. The Democratic Party, in addition to being hamstrung by institutions that are by nature biased towards conservatives, like the innate design of the Senate, and the conservative makeup of the Supreme Court, are constantly struggling with infighting by the purist far-left, and the impotent center. On one side, they are dealing with an increasingly irrational “far-left” that refuses to the see the bigger picture of defeating Trump, as well as dealing with a middling center that frequently resorts to “both-sideism” and shrugs their shoulders instead of calling out the clear threat of Republican rule. On top of that, the Democrats have been OBSESSED with decorum, following the rules, ALWAYS compromising, and holding their members to higher standards as Republicans refuse to do so. Do you see the Republicans compromising? Following norms? Nope. The Republican apparatus, from Mitch McConnell to the fringes of the Freedom Caucus, are constantly moving in lockstep, pushing their right-wing vision through the finish line. Some, like political scientist David Faris, argue that Democrats must realize that "It's Time to Fight Dirty", after years of pussyfooting around, finally, at long last? It's as the old saying goes, “Democrats fall in love, Republicans fall in line”. It’s a situation worthy of a Greek Tragedy….
….Or is it?
Because if you speak to the average Republican voter, they will absolutely not agree with what I wrote above. Rather, it is the Democrats who are enacting win after win, and getting their left-wing agenda through their finish line while the middling Republicans trip over their shoelaces. Left-wing activists, like Rudi Dutschke, have conducted a Long March Through The Institutions, like a nation proudly marching through the battlefield and conquering their enemies. The liberals control everything.The culture. The education system. The legal system. The youth. Republicans have lost the Culture War, a war that men like Chris Rufo argue that the Right barely even attempted to fight as the Radical Left had their eyes on the ball, onwards through the battlefield. Marching on. The Left has always possessed a machiavellian spirit, and an ironclad grip on every avenue that we as Americans hold dear. Men like Jon Askonas, looking at the rubble of conservatism, ponder "Why Conservatism Failed". That’s how much the Left has won! The ideology of Conservatism itself is DEAD! Meanwhile, the conservative movement, or shall I say, Conservatism Inc., is obsessed with maintaining tired platitudes about “small government” and “low taxes” as Democrats are focused on controlling every inch of the American body. Conservatives aren’t winning, they are impotently flailing. Pathetic.
Does that really make sense? Are both the political right and the political left united in lockstep, but weak and plagued with endless infighting? Can both sides be obsessed with playing the rules and compromising, but also be steadfastly seizing control of all major institutions?
A lot of the above is me rambling, but I believe this ties back to what Gallup has reported recently, as “most Americans (71%) say that, on the issues that matter to them, their side in politics has been losing more often than winning. Just a quarter say their side has been winning more often than losing.” The article also mentions that this varies based on which party is in power, and is right now "eight-in-ten Republicans and Republican-leaning independents (83%)" as well as "six-in-ten Democrats and Democratic leaners (62%)". But this a sentiment I have noticed the past several years. Dare I say, “Both sides”, having identical complaints about their political allies.
Republican voters complain that their side is obsessed with following norms, espousing platitudes, and playing by the Democrats' rules, while the Democrats are motivated and pressing forward with their left-wing agenda.
Democratic voters complain that their side is obsessed with following norms, espousing platitudes, and playing by the Republicans’ rules, while the Republicans are motivated and pressing forward with their right-wing agenda.
Our side is obsessed with compromise. Their side never compromises.
Our side is obsessed with preserving “muh norms”. Their side couldn’t give a shit about norms.
Our side is constantly held to a higher standard. Their side is constantly treated with kid gloves.
Our side is fighting with a knife. Their side is fighting with a gun.
Our side always holds ourselves accountable. Their side never holds themselves accountable.
Now, I am someone who leans more on the political left (especially the economic left), but this is a sentiment I see expressed by a lot of Republican and Democratic voters, who both feel like they are the unfairly maligned underdog.
The staticy of our current federalist, two party, FPTP system creates a significant amount of deadlock, especially as the two parties realign on class, geographic, and educational lines. Landslide elections are becoming less and less common. Neither Republicans nor Democrats seem to have the ability to break through landslide sweeps and reshape the country with a governing mandate, instead dealing with gridlock and incrementalism that is inherent to the American experiment.
I believe this situation leads to both groups of voters turning back to a comforting narrative of how their side is effectively persecuted by various forces. How their side is always held to a higher standard compared to the opposition. How they have been plagued historically by infighting and a fetish for norms and holding your pinky up.
Now, I’m not giving my opinions on which side is correct. Democrats are at a disadvantage in the Senate (I think that is partially due to Democrats bleeding away rural votes over decades). Republicans are at a disadvantage in mainstream culture (I think that is due to an incompatibility with social conservatism and capitalism, but that’s another discussion for another day).
I am simply stating that I have observed this exact same sentiment among both Republican and Democratic voters/pundits. Whether it’s left-leaning internet forums, or conservative talk radio, I see and hear the exact same lines, but flip a few words. How our side is impotent, infighting, and constantly snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, unlike our enemies. Republicans and Democrats, faced with years or decades of painful incrementalism, at best, resort back to the same narrative. Our side is weak and divided, their side is strong and united.