I am in the market for a walk in tub for my mom. This one was used frequently for four years by owner and is now on the resell market. (to quote her she said her and her husband used it all the time, so presumably every day. Also said it worked great prior to un-installation. I forgot to ask if a professional un installed it but I'm assuming not. Been stored in a unheated garage. Temps here this past winter got to -45 celcius) Does it look like anything is amiss as far as anyone can tell by this photo? Would you be open to a used walk in tub or buy new only based on any experiences?

I (f18) started my YouTube channel when I was 13, I uploaded two vlogs, got 18 subs, then never touched it again content-wise until I was 16, I uploaded really randomly until I was 17 and had a schedule. I'm currently at 634 subs, one of those subs had been one of the original 18 and he started stalking me, I'm not going to put his account name or mine obviously, I made this new account so he'd leave me alone on my Reddit account associated with my YT. He commented on my old videos often during the years I was inactive, and was excited that I returned, he didn't. Stop. Commenting.
I'm serious, he was extremely quick to comment once something new was posted and he was there within minutes, and would comment every time he rewatched. Over time he just got really creepy, his comments were usually harmless but typed in a frantic way like: "5th watch so happy you are back are you filming now when are you posting next I miss you a lot hey do you like (random media)? I like it do you want to talk? We can talk I want to talk" but then it was more like: "I love you :) you are so funny and sweet and totally hot I mean so hot I want to touch you you would be a good wife I bet ;) you should talk to me soon want to touch me too?". Now, it's not lost on me that this could've been a real weird kid but HE had content too, and he had to be in his early/mid 20s, and stupidly I would talk about my age, so he knew I was a minor. His comments on my 18th birthday post was even worse god.
One of his worst (sexually) and most recent comments was on a video of 13 yo me talking about 13 yo me, I won't tell you what it said, but it was graphic and ended up getting removed from YT. Now he sexually harasses me non stop, I've had to of blocked like 12 different accounts that were his on YouTube alone, he tried to dox me, he threatened to r-pe me, and now he found my Facebook that I don't even use and has been asking my family where I live now pretending to be a person I went to school with.
I went through his original Twitter one time, all he did was talk creepy about different women, talk all schizo and reposted everything I posted, he liked almost exclusively porn and my posts, some of his reposts where quote tweets that said "Watch my girlfriend", " My girlfriend is gorgeous", "She loves me are you all jealous?", "I own her none of you do".
Just needed to vent, I feel like I'm going insane, I just want him to go the fuck away.

I almost didn’t post this because my mom has been spying on my account. I need to share with someone though.. sorry it’s long.
In 2021, I had my first miscarriage. At my first ultrasound I was told baby didn’t have a heartbeat. A few weeks later, my sister told me she was pregnant and it was a surprise. She said she didn’t know how to tell me. I was really upset but I did my best to be supportive. Later that night I was crying on my bathroom floor telling my husband I wanted to die. He held me and begged me not to talk that way. Needless to say it was rough.. I did my best to be there for her during her pregnancy. Not going to lie, my family was kinda weird around me. Didn’t talk about her baby a lot. Didn’t ask for me to help with the baby shower. I was happy they didn’t ask much of me because I didn’t have the capacity to do those things.
A few months later, I got pregnant again. A few weeks after that, I miscarried again. It was awful. My sister was still pregnant and I had to continue to force myself to be supportive. I met my niece a few months later. Held her, smiled.
I decided to take a break from trying again. I wanted to focus on healing my mental health first. Months turned to years and I was content. I felt like I could live without kids and focus on traveling and being an aunt.
Fast forward to last summer. I had a feeling I was pregnant and took a test. It was positive. I had a mixture of feelings. Thinking back now, I was just scared. My past had traumatized me enough that I was extremely anxious about losing this pregnancy. I did everything I could to prevent that from happening. What I ate, who I spent time with, etc. Well, some things you just can’t prevent I guess. I lost my daughter right before our third trimester. It’s been 3 months. I’ve been a mess ever since. Some days are better than others. I’ve gone back to work and everyone is pregnant or their wife is pregnant. I’ve grown a huge resentment toward everyone there. I hate my job that I once loved. I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to see the happy pregnant people. I try to think nice things but the negative thoughts are so strong. I hate them. I hate their happiness. I don’t want to see them, I don’t want them near me, I don’t want to hear about their babies. I know that’s mean and unhealthy but this voice in my head is loud.
Then, yesterday, my sister text me saying she’s pregnant again. I want to die. How am I supposed to be around her when she’s pregnant? Listen to my family talk about baby stuff? I can’t. I told her I needed space until I deal with this news and it, understandably, upset her. My mom called me and told me that I need to work towards getting better and even though I can’t control what’s happening, I can control how I respond. She told me I need medication, more therapy, all that. I don’t think they really understand what’s going on in my head. How sick I am when I think of babies knowing I won’t ever see mine again. How angry I am at the universe or God or whatever it was that didn’t protect my daughter when I needed her to be ok. What did I do to deserve this? How could this happen again? Every time something extremely traumatic happens my sister gets pregnant and I’m supposed to deal with it? How is that fair? I hate my life and I’m in a dark place.

I'm not sure if this is truly allowed but here it goes! My roommate and I are 2 professionals (M) in our early 30s, and sadly our lease is up June 30th; the homeowner is finally selling. We're in Morris County, the North Jersey area, and find housing expensive as hell despite having well-paying jobs.
We have a third roommate who's not the best and thankfully going their own separate way, but we'd still like to remain 3 as it's the sweet spot in nicer housing options at better price points while also being nicely 'social.'
A bit about us.. we've known each other ~7 years now and work for the same company, a local fortune 5. Have active social lives, play videogames, hobbies and hang out a bit, but we also enjoy having alone /quiet time. We'd like to think we get along with everyone! We have no preference for demographic, girls can apply too if you're up for dealing with two guys. We just want maturity and a sense of humor really.
Again, not sure if this is against the rules, but if anyone is in a similar situation and would consider the gamble of being roommates with us, I'm happy to partner up with you on the housing search! Feel free to stalk my post history and message me if you're looking too!

My daughter Liz and I have a long history. When she was 15 I was getting divorced, not from her father. This man was very abusive towards me and all my children. He once threatened my life with a firearm, that level of abuse. I had 3 boys with him, and she was their big sister. Well, despite how badly he abused her also, she sided with him and told the court a bunch of very bad lies about me to try to get my boys taken away. Didn't work, and I didn't see her for many years. I always tried to find her, and finally succeeded after I had remarried and had a baby. That was 20 years ago. We reunited as a family. I never confronted her about her behavior because she was so young, and she was loving towards me. She also never apologized, but I let it go. We rebuilt our relationship. There were a few incidents where she displayed huge entitlement and disrespect over the years, but we got through it. I have never confronted her with anything. I try not to fight with people. Fast forward to now. My husband Dave was taking care of his sister with ALS. She suffered for many years. He was her primary caretaker. A few weeks ago she took a turn for the worse. Dave was called night and day by the nursing home. It was a hard time, and I completely forgot one of my son's birthday. I felt bad, so I invited him over one day. He asked if his brother could come too, so I said OK. I wasn't up to hosting a huge event, so it was very low key. Liz got wind of this and sent off an angry, profanity-laced text that she wasn't invited, and how dare I. I didn't see it because SIL passed away, and we were planning her funeral, getting my kids home from college and it was a busy time with lots of messages. I sent many group texts to all my children about SIL's death, when was the visitation, the funeral etc. All my children responded with sympathy except Liz. I tried calling her many times, but no answer. Mother's day came, and I invited all my adult children over. Liz didn't answer when I called several times. I went to send her a text to find out what was up, and I saw her message from before. I responded to tell her that I somehow missed seeing it and was really sorry she felt slighted. I explained it wasn't a big family event, and even apologized for not inviting her when I found out my other son was coming. It was a last-minute thing. I also told her all about how lovely the funeral was and all that. No response. Mother's day comes and no Liz. She did send me a text, but I was pretty upset with her for ignoring SIL's death that I did not respond until the following day. Then she sends another profanity-laced angry message about not being invited for Mother's Day. I simply responded that I was sorry for the miscommunication, but she had been invited. Hey, I can't help it if she doesn't listen to her messages. The next day, another profane, angry text. Dave is really struggling with his sister's death, and we are all grief-stricken. Someone so young was taken from us and suffered horribly for a long time. Liz knew her too. We all live close together, and had a lot of family gatherings over the years. I started getting really upset that she couldn't acknowledge our loss or offer any sympathy. Especially to Dave who has always been kind to her. He's the kind of guy who will help anyone. We are suffering here. I last sent her a message telling her that I can't believe she's still (one month later) attacking me over missing a party when we just lost a family member to a horrible disease. I told her she misjudged the situation with her brother's birthday, and I don't need her permission to invite my son to my house. I explained again about how the (non) event occurred. Asked her why she thinks hurt feelings over missing a party take precedence over a family member's death. I asked her to stop sending profane angry texts and offer us condolences with an apology to Dave for taking so long. I believe this is the first time since she was 15 that I've ever confronted her on anything. She responded with another angry self-righteous message (no profanity at least) I have always forgiven her for her immaturity, but this time it's too much. I see now that she doesn't respect me or care for our family. I think I do not like her anymore. This is not the first time she's behaved like this. I guess since it's such a difficult time, I thought she should put her differences aside temporarily to offer support. I see she will never do that, and I can't think of her as a good person anymore. What should I do? I don't want her kids to feel like they are in the middle, but I don't know how not to. They are 18 and 17 and 9. The older kids come here a lot. Any advice how to handle this where I don't keep being a doormat to her is welcome. Thanks.

In December of last year, my wife and I had our first child, and it was a very traumatic ordeal, she spent 6 weeks in the NICU before we could take her home, and we have a whole host of doctors & therapists for her now.
She is doing fantastic, one of her therapists calls her a miracle baby, we are very proud.
The biggest concern with our daughter is developing her fine motor skills. Multiple doctors and therapists repeatedly expressed a goal of her being able to not only hold a toy, but actively pass it between her hands, I guess this is a significant milestone, especially in our unique situation.
For many weeks, she got close, she started picking up toys off the mat next to her, she could reach out for things in all directions, but the passing back and forth continued to elude her.
In April, it was my half birthday, and I treated myself to 10 packs of 151, a binder collection and a boosty bundy. I got some decent hits, I was happy, including 3 foil energies, steel, electric, & psychic, excellent combo if I do say so myself.
I know historically, these have been somewhat pricey cards, I've seen them around $5-15 for a single energy, but with the 151 set, they seem super common to me, I have like a dozen, so I just gave the foil energies to the baby for the lulz.
AND SHE WAS SO EXCITED!!! She loves them! And she immediately was holding them, picking them up, and yes, passing them between her hands just fine, with ease in fact. She loves them so much and I am just so fucking stoked that my love of Pokemon has helped my daughter's development in some way, she is going to be a true Pokemon master one day.
Thanks for reading, just wanted to share some positivity with the community.

I have this friend who i’ve known for quite a while. We go through phases where we don’t talk much, but my passive nature always welcomes friends back.
This friend will be having a birthday dinner at her house, a private omakase chef. She has asked us all to pay for our own dinner (175$ pp) which is pretty normal for omakase, and i enjoy omakase so I don’t mind paying. However, i am now choosing to not attend this party because of her lack of manners. In the trxt she sent inviting she states that she is only inviting close friends and family, but “some people are not eating bc they dont have the finances” - i found the comment rude and tacky, i already find hosting something at your house and making your guest pay for it is tacky but the finances comment shook me.
This isnt the first incident where i just feel like this friend is bad mannered. Her and her husband are very wealthy or appear to be. (They live in a 5 million dollar home, gated community, she drives a g wagon he drives a rolls royce, always has about 400k of jewelry on including her engagement ring, labels on labels, she loves flaunting their success - nothing rong with that) but she constantly does things that are selfish and lack self awareness it seems and now im reconsidering going to the party at all, because im not sure i want to continue the friendship. I dont feel entitled to he paying for me ever before anyone thinks that. (I have my own successful ful business and live fabulously im just much more lowkey and im aware some people cant even afford to eat right now)
To me its her lack of self awareness and weirdness. We had another incident a while ago where she made us go to a popular club her husband co owned (a group of about 9 girls - and made us order top shelf bottles. Her husband wasnt there but his friends were and drank most of the bottles) the next day she venmo requests us ($300 each girl to pay) normally my friends that own restaurants or bars they will comp things at times especially ially if THEY invite to host us and its not us just going randomly. This friend is mostly wealthy bc her husband, her other single gf’s dont have near as much financial stability. Theyre not spending 8,000$+ on handbags, and every birthday or event for her she literally makes people buy gifts or pay for expensive cakes and if they dont she talks badly about t their finances. In the past i’ve stepped in and i’ve done more of what she asks bc i can afford to and i valued our friendship but i think i’m reaching an ick point with this. For my birthday she got me samples, and for hers i bought her a pretty big gift. Its just the entitlement for me especially wanting people who have less than you to do so much.
To me at this point is just tacky and in such poor taste that i’m not sure i want to be friends with someone like that, But maybe i’m missing something and being an asshole. Am i the asshole?

I 19 (ftm) was adopted at birth due to my bio mom being young and having bad home life. I was raised my whole life not knowing my bio mom or my bio dad. I didn’t even know what they look like. I was raised being told that my bio dad was a really bad man (which is true) but that my bio mom was really nice. I’ve always said since I was little and found out that I really wanted to find my bio mom or at least see a picture of her. Fast forward to a week before my 19th birthday and my adopted mom sadly passed away due to cardiac arrest. This time has been really hard for me as this just happened in April and my birthday is in may. I was struggling on my birthday and didn’t even look at my phone. The next day I open instagram to see a message request that said this. “Hi. Happy birthday! you don't know that I exist but I am (insert their name) and I'm your half sibling. I'm nonbinary and my mom is your bio mother. I'm 15 and mom has always told me about you but told me you didn't know about me. If you want I'd like to get to know you. Either way I hope your birthday was awesome.” This made me really happy as that day I got to FaceTime them and my bio mom. I was so happy to have finally found her but then found it weird. They both claimed they didn’t know my mom passed even thought I have a post on insta and it was all over Facebook which she claimed to follow my adopted dad and mom on. So what made me feel weird was how my adopted mom just died and now my bio mom contacted me. She said she had mom insta for a while as her sister found it and that she wanted to find the right time to message me. So I don’t know how to feel about this and I don’t know if my bio mom means good or bad. If you could maybe give me advice i don’t really know. I just have bad feels about all of this.

I've posted about a year ago regarding my then 7th month old scratching his head and hurting himself in the process. You can find the old post here: https://www.reddit.com/Parenting/comments/139ip9z/baby_wont_stop_scratching_his_head_until_it_bleads/
Recently I've had 3 different parents that have found the post and were in the same situation, inboxing for an update/solution, so I decided to make an update post in case more parents are looking for answers. Sorry I took so long. I know the despair you feel. I assure you it will get better if you persevere. This is an extremely long post, so I have bolded the several topics, in case you don't want to read everything, so they are easier to find.
To update on my son's situation: He's now 1y and 7 months. He is allergic to milk and he has a combination of cradle cap and eczema. In addition to this, he was also born with Hydronephrosis (enlarged kidneys) which means he is limited in the medication that he's allowed to take (no ipobrufren, as an example)
The Cradle Cap situation has improved by itself, mainly by just carrying on with what we were doing. We use the Frida Flake Fixer treatment and a cradle cap shampoo (Dentinox). We've also been advised not to wash his head every day, leave it 1 or 2 days (one doctor even said once a week). For the cuts, the best thing was indeed a Vaseline barrier to help the raw skin heal. Even though it definitely stinks, the healing is the most important part. I would put Vaseline on his scalp the day before a bath, do the treatment with the Frida Brush and then I would rub a Baby Scalp Oil (Colief) to soften the flakes on the day after the bath; I would put Vaseline on the scalp the next day and he would take a bath the next day, rinse and repeat, until the cuts were healed, and I could ditch the Vaseline step. If the cut was deep I would sometimes apply Sudocream only at night after a bath and the Vaseline was removed and he'd fallen asleep so he wouldn't take it off. He still slept with mittens inside his cuffed babygrow, but he always managed to get one or two fingers out, I kid you not when I say, that sometimes I would sleep holding his hand to prevent him from scratching his head when the wounds here at it's worst. All of these steps have contributed to has improved the cradle cap lot and eventually disappeared in about a month's time. He's going trough a second outbreak now, a year later, but no where near as bad as it was then, he's not scratching himself to death.
The Eczema situation. Right....... this situation has improved for a few good 7-8 months with the Aveeno Baby Dermexa Emollient Cream. I would use it 3 times a day or more to fight of dry skin. The areas where the skin folded were the worst. Arm folds, neck folds, behind the knees, there the eczema would install and spread, That could only be controlled an Hydrocortisoid Cream, 1% w/w. It did eventually disappeared save for one spot -- just behind the right knee. He developed a habit of scratching it with his left foot. But, lets put the Eczema situation on hold for a moment, while we talk about:
The Milk Allergy situation.... Oh Boy..... this is about to get very long.....
In my previous post made at the beginning of May 2023, I stated that my son had been to the A&E (a week before the post) for an allergic reaction to porridge, so he would either be allergic to Milk and/or Gluten. We were told a referral was done to our GP for a visit by an allergy team who would walk us through to process of slowly introducing allergens so that my son would hopefully be able to safely be exposed to them in the future and advised to "only feed him vegetables and fruit". We were given an "prescription" for an antihistamine to continue the treatment and to use as an SOS in case of another allergic reaction in the future. No allergy tests were done for my son at all.
We were told that, it would take a couple of weeks before we were contacted by the allergy team and to contact the GP after two weeks if we hadn't heard from them. We waited a month and nothing. At the end of May, I went to our GP to ask for updates on this situation. Imagine my shock when the GP told me that they didn't even have ANY information about my son being in the A&E. They've spent 1h contacting the hospital to get the paperwork from the A&E that SHOULD have been sent to our GP. In said paperwork, it states that the hospital would like the GP to sort out the allergy appointment. So, no allergy appointment had been made for an entire month and if I hadn't enquired about this situation, the GP would have had no clue about the need to make one because they didn't have the necessary paperwork! I was given an apology and scheduled an "assessment appointment" 2 days later. I enquired about an Antihistamine prescription, since my son was gonna start nursery in a couple of weeks when my maternity leave would end and I needed to provide a bottle for them in case of an allergic reaction, because we still didn't know what my son was allergic to.... Lo and behold, when the GP staff looks at the hospital paperwork, it was stated that no more antihistaminic was necessary, against what we were advised, as we should have one antihistamine as SOS, I had to press the GP to provide us with an prescription (which the lady was very quick to do after seeing me ready to implode regarding this absolute incompetence) so the nursery could have one antihistamine with themselves as we couldn't keep juggling our bottle back and forth with them.
The assessment appointment which basically consisted in 5 mins of asking for details about the allergic reaction, all of which was written in A&E's paperwork and only then being referred to a dietitian's team. I was given no ETA, no info about where it would be, no contact that I could call to at least be put on a waiting list in case of a cancellation, nothing. I was only asked to wait and when confronted, the practitioner admitted that this appointment COULD have been made straight in the hospital's A&E, instead of this ridiculous and time wasting bureaucratic football between the Hospital and the GP.
You might think this was the end of the miscommunication and incompetence.... Oh oh But no,.. of course not!! I waited another month of silence. At the end of June I called the hospital's appointment hotline enquiring about my son's appointment, only to be told that he doesn't have one because a referral hadn't been made yet! I was fuming!! I immediately called the GP who have assured me that a referral has been sent to the hospital's Paediatric and gave me it's referral number and they would enquire....
If you are in the UK like I am and you see that your baby/child is being ignored by your GP / Hospital and not getting the appropriate care, then do as I did and contact PALS near your area. That was the best piece of advice that I have received from people at my local breastfeeding group, and if being a mother has taught me anything, is that sometimes, you will have to be a momma bear (aka Karen to the eyes of the target) and advocate for your child. I work in retail, I despise Karens and I have no wish to be one, I am usually a pushover. But I will not allow anyone to trample on my son's health. And while I do have respect for the NHS, seeing has my brother in law works there, I know damn well, by his own words, that the main problem is not the lack of funds, but the pockets where they go and the terrible disorganization.
At that point I had enough of excuses and I made a complaint to PALS about both the GP and the Hospital. My son was almost 9months and still breastfeeding but eating mostly Vegetables and Fruit as solid food as per A&E'S guidelines, delaying his weaning and feeding development and causing stress with the nursery and our family as we didn't know what he was allergic to and couldn't move on to full meals. I flat out asked them if they were intent on my son completing an entire year of life being fed only Vegetables and Fruit besides breastmilk, and called them out because an 8 month baby should not be put on the back burner over and over again due to the incredibly poor communication between these two organizations and have his health jeopardized. I demanded a resolution ASAP and forward this to the Paediatrician as I did not trust the hospital to be able clearly communicate between their departments and whom I suspected had not been told absolutely nothing regarding all this. Two days later the allergy team specialist rang me to personally and profusely apologise and take the situation under her control and give me her allergy guidelines which I should have been given since the beginning. I was still forced to wait until early July for a allergy test - Milk was found to be the culprit.
I still thank everything that I had enough perseverance to stick with breastfeeding and never, ever, though to look at formula. I tremble to think about the consequences, Even though I'm aware that dairy free formulas exist, me being a 1st time ignorant mother, chances were I could have picked a wrong one. Fortunately I produced more than enough milk and my son had a good latch. Also because my son was not making any allergic reactions to my milk, this meant there was a higher chance that he could grow out of his allergy, as he was still getting enzymes from the dairy that I consumed. From here on, food introduction was a breeze. He's a real foodie, he loves to eat and he loves to eat with us. Adapting our diet was a bit of work, as I have IBS and my husband is diabetic so there might be some foods that will be a trigger or might not be the most ideal to someone in our family, but we managed to strike a good balance. Vegan options do help and we are having fun exploring that.
The problems then came with the nursery. After letting them know that my son was allergic to milk and other things were fine, the cases of allergic reaction in the nursery stated to increase and he started getting very bad reactions. First we suspected cross contamination, then that he might be allergic to something else, but the foods they were saying he was allergic to made absolutely no sense as he was just fine having those at home. We came to the conclusion after several events in the softplay area - that involved no food at all - that the culprit might be their cleaning products and further pressed after two different members of staff said they themselves were allergic to that product - Milton. After several bickerings between us and the nursery and us visiting our origin country for Xmas where my son ate in 4 different household and 5 different restaurant with absolutely no allergy reaction (in comparing to the then daily cases of reaction on the 3 days that he stayed at nursery), we finally convinced the nursery to change their cleaning products - they are now using Sanell. In addiction to prevent cross contamination, my son was given his own high chair, that no other child uses. Happy to say the cases of allergy are nearly non-existent now. His recent blood results also came back with amazingly good improvements, so we got the thumbs up from the Allergy Team and the Paediatrician to start the milk ladder and slowly and gradually adding milk to his diet. Currently he's in stage one and having half a teaspoon of malted milk biscuit daily with no reaction. It will probably still be able two months until he can have a full biscuit, but I can't wait to see his smile when we get to this stage - he loves taking the little piece of my hand.
Because of the back and forth with the nursery and them insisting that the allergic reaction could be due to other foods, the allergy team at the hospital was more concerned with that than his Eczema situation. We had to insist about it, since we suspected the reactions might be Eczema instead, stating that I was still waiting for the promised skin specialist appointment since end of April last year. The lead Team Speciallist, again showed her amazing professionalism and chased up the situation and we finally got our appointment jointly with her and the skin specialist in January of this year. She gave us a few products to try but said that the Eczema situation was relatively controlled. The samples that she gave were:

• Dermol 500 Lotion - we still use this for his bath as a soap substitute
• Adex Gel - kind like an emollient cream, it was ok-ish
• Cetraben Cream - didn't seem to make any difference, but can also be used as a soap substitute so we'll give it a go after Dermol is finished
• Zerodearm Ointment - didn't seem to make any difference, but it has a Vaseline like quality to it, so might try again

About a week after the appointment, my Son had an mild outbreak of Eczema on his legs. We tried several combinations of above products that seemed to temporally control the situation but didn't complete solve it. In Early March of this year the Eczema appeared in his back. He has a huge red birthmark the size of my hand on his back, so that skin is very sensitive. He started to scratch and rub his back against things and it didn't took long to break the skin. It didn't bleed but it was oozing/weeping which would make the skin get stuck to his clothes and then get raw, so no treatment was going to work on that as it would slide off with the oozing/weeping. I despaired then as I had a year ago.
So I went back to the thing that worked last time - Vaseline. This time though, it was on a place that I couldn't exactly leave uncovered. My son was about to do some blood tests so hospital had given us numb cream to put on the inside of his elbows and some clear medical film. He had this done before and I remembered that the film had been resistant enough to keep the cream in and didn't hurt his skin, so I though, maybe I could apply the same theory. So I bought some clear medical film (Tegaderm Film), put a good chunk of Vaseline on the wound and sealed it with the film. I changed this twice or three times a day, depending if he was in the nursery or not. It worked like a charm and it allowed the skin to heal. For reference, the nursery manager, whose son suffers with really bad eczema has suggested me the AproDerm Ointment which also has a Vaseline consistency to it, but my son's situation cleared up before I had to use it.
The skin specialist by then had prescribed a treatment with another hydrocortisoid cream ( Daktacort 2% 1% w/w, needs to be kept refridgerated ) and an emollient cream - Epimax Oatmeal Cream. For the other patches of Eczema (that were not in wound), I would use Daktacord, once in the morning, once in the evening, and I would use Epimax to keep the skin moisturized along the day, whenever I would change a diaper. The skin specialist told us to keep using Daktacord twice a day for a week, then drop it to once a day on the following week, and then drop it to every other day on the week after. This has worked brilliantly and it solved all Eczema patches, including the stubborn one behind his right knee, We were able to drop the Daktacord and we now only use the Epimax emollient regularly about twice a day.
Thank you if you have read everything so far, I hope you have found something that could be of use to you. Happy to answer any questions that you might have, or if you're feeling desperate like I was and just need some reassurance, just drop me message!

I know a lot of people use kings hunting for example. Here is what I found
This is what Valmiki Ramayan says:
तस्मिन्निति सूखे काले धनुष्मानिषुमान रथी व्यायामकृतसंकल्प: सरयूमन्वगान्नदीम
' व्यायामकृतसंकल्प: ' means with the aim of exercise.
He says that it was a good day,hence i went to the banks of Sarayu River to do some exercise.
So one thing is clear,he was there to exercise,and not to hunt or kill any animal.
Now lets see what follows:
अथान्धकारेत्वश्रौष जले कुम्भस्य पूर्यत: अचक्षुर्विषये घोष वारणस्येवनर्दत:
It was dark at that time,i was not able to see clearly. Then i heard a voice of an animal,i thought its an elephant.
Now where is Hunting and Deer written here? Nowhere…its just TV serials show.
Kings used to catch and capture elephants for their army. Dashrath also wanted to capture that elephant,and he shot an arrow which by mistake hit Shravan Kumar. He had poisoned arrows which could make the elephant lose his senses,but it hit a human,who could not bear its poison.
This is what Ayodhyakand,Valmiki Ramayan says:
ततोअहम शरमुध्दत्य दीप्तमाशीविषोपमम शब्द प्रति गजप्रेप्सुरभिलक्ष्यमपातयम
तत्र वागुषसि व्यक्ता प्रादुरासीव्दनौकस: हां हेति पततस्तोये वाणाद्व्यथितमर्मण:
Dashrath says-”Then to get the elephant i shot a poisoned arrow.I heard a crying voice of a human from the direction in which i shot the arrow.”
So please start to read Valmiki Ramayan,don't waste your lives in lies and TV serials.
Thanks.
Next many people say that hinduism doesent allow or disallow meat.
Yes.
The Sanatana Dharma Teaches First That We should not Kill Animals Or Eat Any Type of Meat.
References -
Quotes that disapprove, even denounce, meat-eating
Rig Veda:
“One who partakes of human flesh, the flesh of a horse or of another animal, and deprives others of milk by slaughtering cows, O King, if such a fiend does not desist by other means, then you should not hesitate to cut off his head.”
Rig-veda (10.87.16)
Do the Vedic literature allow meat-eating? Did Hinduism adopt vegetarianism from Buddhism? - The Spiritual Scientist
Manu-Samhita:
“Meat can never be obtained without injury to living creatures, and injury to sentient beings is detrimental to the attainment of heavenly bliss; let him therefore shun the use of meat. Having well considered the disgusting origin of flesh and the cruelty of fettering and slaying corporeal beings, let him entirely abstain from eating flesh.”
(Manu-samhita 5.48-49) “He who permits the slaughter of an animal, he who cuts it up, he who kills it, he who buys or sells meat, he who cooks it, he who serves it up, and he who eats it, must all be considered as the slayers of the animal. There is no greater sinner than that man who though not worshiping the gods or the ancestors, seeks to increase the bulk of his own flesh by the flesh of other beings.” (Manu-samhita 5.51-52)
“If he has a strong desire (for meat) he may make an animal of clarified butter or one of flour (and eat that); but let him never seek to destroy an animal without a (lawful) reason. As many hairs as the slain beast has, so often indeed will he who killed it without a (lawful) reason suffer a violent death in future births.” (Manu-samhita 5.37-38)
“He who injures harmless creatures from a wish to give himself pleasure, never finds happiness in this life or the next.” (Manu-samhita 5.45)
“By subsisting on pure fruits and roots, and by eating food fit for ascetics in the forest, one does not gain so great a reward as by entirely avoiding the use of flesh. Me he [mam sah] will devour in the next world, whose flesh I eat in this life; the wise declare this to be the real meaning of the word ‘flesh’ [mam sah].” (Manu-samhita 5.54-55)
“He who does not seek to cause the sufferings of bonds and death to living creatures, (but) desires the good of all (beings), obtains endless bliss. He who does not injure any (creature) attains without an effort what he thinks of, what he undertakes, and what he fixes his mind on.” (Manu-samhita 5.46-47)
“By not killing any living being, one becomes fit for salvation.” (Manu-samhita 6.60)
Do the Vedic literature allow meat-eating? Did Hinduism adopt vegetarianism from Buddhism? - The Spiritual Scientist
Mahabharata

1. “He who desires to augment his own flesh by eating the flesh of other creatures, lives in misery in whatever species he may take his [next] birth.” (Mahabharata, Anu. 115.47)
   
2. “The purchaser of flesh performs violence by his wealth; he who eats flesh does so by enjoying its taste; the killer does violence by actually tying and killing the animal. Thus, there are three forms of killing. He who brings flesh or sends for it, he who cuts off the limbs of an animal, and he who purchases, sells, or cooks flesh and eats it–all these are to be considered meat-eaters.” (Mahabharata, Anu. 115.40)
   
3. “The sins generated by violence curtail the life of the perpetrator. Therefore, even those who are anxious for their own welfare should abstain from meat-eating.” (Mahabharata, Anu. 115.33)
   
4. Bhishma started, “Numberless discourses took place between the Rishis on this subject, O scion of Kuru’s race. Listen, O Yudhisthira, what their opinion was. (Mahabharata, Anu. 115.7)
   
5. “The highly wise seven celestial Rishis, the Valakshillyas, and those Rishis who drink the rays of the sun, all speak highly of abstention from meat.
   
6. The self-created Manu has said that the man who does not eat meat, or who does not kill living creatures, or who does not cause them to be killed, is a friend of all creatures. Such a man is incapable of being oppressed by any creature. He enjoys the confidence of all living beings. He always enjoys the praise of the pious. The virtuous Narada has said that that man who wishes to multiply his own flesh by eating the flesh of other creatures meets with disaster. (Mahabharata, Anu. 115.9-12)
   
7. “That man, who having eaten meat, gives it up afterwards wins merit by such a deed that is so great that a study of all the Vedas or a performance, O Bharata, of all the sacrifices [Vedic rituals], cannot give its like. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.16)
   
8. “That learned person who gives to all living creatures the gift of complete assurance is forsooth regarded as the giver of lifebreaths in this world. (Mahabharata, Anu. 115.18)
   
9. “Men gifted with intelligence and purified souls should always treat others as they themselves wish to be treated. It is seen that even those men who are endued with learning and who seek to acquire the greatest good in the shape of liberation, are not free of the fear of death. (Mahabharata, Anu. 115.20)
   
10. “What necessity be said of those innocent and healthy creatures gifted with love of life, when they are sought to be killed by sinful wretches living by slaughter? Therefore, O King, know that the discarding of meat is the highest refuge of religion, of the celestial region, and of happiness. Abstention of injury [to others] is the highest religion. It is, again, the highest penance. It is also the highest truth from which all duty emanates. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.21-23)
    
11. “Flesh cannot be had from grass or wood or stone. Unless a living creature is killed it cannot be procured. Hence is the fault of eating flesh. The celestials who live upon Svaha, Svadha, and nectar, are given to truth and sincerity. Those persons, however, who are for satisfying the sensation of taste, should be known as Rakshasas [flesh-eating demons] pervaded by the quality of Darkness. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.24-25)
    
12. “If there were nobody who ate flesh, then there would be nobody to slay living creatures. The man who slays living creatures kills them for the sake of the person who eats flesh. If flesh were not considered as food, there would then be no destruction of living creatures. It is for the sake of the eater that the destruction of living entities is carried on in the world. Since, O you of great splendor, the period of life is shortened by persons who kill living creatures or cause them to be killed, it is clear that the person who seeks his own good should give up meat altogether. Those dreadful persons who are engaged in the destruction of living beings never find protectors when they are in need. Such persons should always be molested and punished even as beast of prey. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.29-32)
    
13. “That man who seeks to multiply his own flesh by (eating) the flesh of others has to live in this world in great anxiety, and after death has to take birth in indifferent races and families. High Rishis given to the observance of vows and self-control have said that abstention from meat is worthy of praise, productive of fame and Heaven, and a great satisfaction itself. This I heard formerly, O son of Kunti, from Markandeya when that Rishi discoursed on the sins of eating flesh. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.34-36)
    
14. “He who purchases flesh, kills living creatures through his money. He who eats flesh, kills living beings through his eating. He who binds or seizes and actually kills living creatures is the slaughterer. These are the three sorts of slaughter through each of these acts. He who does not himself eat flesh but approves of an act of slaughter, becomes stained with the sin of slaughter. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.38-39)
    
15. “That wretched man who kills living creatures for the sake of those who would eat them commits great sin. The eater’s sin is not as great. That wretched man who, following the path of religious rites and sacrifices as laid down in the Vedas, would kill a living creature from a desire to eats its flesh, will certainly go to hell. That man who having eaten flesh abstains from it afterwards acquires great merit on account of such abstention from sin. He who arranges for obtaining flesh, he who approves of those arrangements, he who kills, he who buys or sells, he who cooks, and he who eats it, [acquire the sin of those who] are all considered as eaters of flesh. [Therefore] that man who wishes to avoid disaster should abstain from the meat of every living creature. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.44-48)
    

16 . “Listen to me, O king of kings, as I tell you this, O sinless one, there is absolute happiness in abstaining from meat, O king. He who practices severe austerities for a century, and he who abstains from meat, are both equally meritorious. This is my opinion. (Mahabharata, Anu.115.52-53)

1. “Yudhisthira said: Alas, those cruel men who, not caring for various other sorts of food, want only flesh, are really like great Rakshasas [meat-eating demons]. (Mahabharata, Anu.116.1)
   
2. “Bhishma said: That man who wishes to increase his own flesh by the meat of another living creature is such that there is none meaner and more cruel than he. In this world there is nothing that is dearer to a creature than his life. Hence, one should show mercy to the lives of others as he does to his own life. Forsooth, O son, flesh has its origin in the vital seed. There is great sin attached to its eating, as, indeed, there is merit in abstaining from it. (Mahabharata, Anu.116.11-13)
   
3. “There is nothing, O delighter of the Kurus, that is equal in point of merit, either in this world or in the next, to the practice of mercy to all living creatures. (Mahabharata, Anu.116.19)
   
4. “Hence a person of purified soul should be merciful to all living creatures. That man, O king, who abstains from every kind of meat from his birth forsooth, acquires a large space in the celestial region. They who eat the flesh of animals who are desirous of life, are themselves [later] eaten by the animals they eat. This is my opinion. Since he has eaten me, I shall eat him in return. This, O Bharata, forms the character as Mamsah [meaning flesh] of Mamsah [me he, or “me he” will eat for having eaten him]. The destroyer is always slain. After him the eater meets with the same fate. (Mahabharata, Anu.116.32-35)
   
5. “He who acts with hostility towards another becomes victim of similar deeds done by that other. Whatever acts one does in whatever bodies, he has to suffer the consequences thereof in those bodies. (Mahabharata, Anu.116.36-37)
   
6. “Abstention from cruelty is the highest Religion. Abstention from cruelty is the greatest self-restraint. Abstention from cruelty is the highest gift. Abstention from cruelty is the highest penance. Abstention from cruelty is the highest sacrifice. Abstention from cruelty is the highest power. Abstention from cruelty is the greatest friend. Abstention from cruelty is the greatest happiness. (Mahabharata, Anu.116.38-39)
   
7. “Gifts made in all sacrifices [rituals], ablutions performed in all sacred water, and the merit which one acquires from making all kinds of gifts mentioned in the scriptures, all these do not equal in merit abstention from cruelty.” (Mahabharata, Anu.116.40)
   

Do the Vedic literature allow meat-eating? Did Hinduism adopt vegetarianism from Buddhism? - The Spiritual Scientist
Bhagavata Purana:
“Those who are ignorant of real dharma and, though wicked and haughty, account themselves virtuous, kill animals without any feeling of remorse or fear of punishment. Further, in their next lives, such sinful persons will be eaten by the same creatures they have killed in this world.” (Bhagavata Purana 11.5.14)
The real purpose of a sacrifice was not to replace a slaughterhouse but to test a Vedic mantra by giving an animal new life. Animals were used to test the power of Vedic mantras, not for meat. - Srimad Bhagavatam 4.4.6 purport
Do the Vedic literature allow meat-eating? Did Hinduism adopt vegetarianism from Buddhism? - The Spiritual Scientist
Cow Sacrifice ? Not At All :
Besides References,Here’s What Supreme Lord Saying About Sacrifice -
CC Ādi 17.158 — As a learned scholar, the Kazi challenged Caitanya Mahāprabhu, “In Your Vedic scriptures there is an injunction for killing a cow. On the strength of this injunction, great sages performed sacrifices involving cow-killing.”
CC Ādi 17.159 — Refuting the Kazi’s statement, the Lord immediately replied, “The Vedas clearly enjoin that cows should not be killed. Therefore every Hindu, whoever he may be, avoids indulging in cow-killing.
CC Ādi 17.160 — “In the Vedas and Purāṇas there are injunctions declaring that if one can revive a living being, one can kill it for experimental purposes.
CC Ādi 17.161 — “Therefore the great sages sometimes killed old cows, and by chanting Vedic hymns they brought them back to life for perfection.
CC Ādi 17.162 — “The killing and rejuvenation of such old and invalid cows was not truly killing but an act of great benefit.
CC Ādi 17.163 — “Formerly there were powerful brāhmaṇas who could make such experiments using Vedic hymns, but now, because of the Kali-yuga, brāhmaṇas are not so powerful. Therefore the killing of cows and bulls for rejuvenation is forbidden.
—Ādi 17: The Pastimes of Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu in His Youth
Srila Prabhupada Says - So killing, killing is very bad, but killing for the sake of right cause of fighting, or killing in the sacrifice, they are not sinful. Sometimes in the Vedas killing is recommended, just like in the fight or in the sacrifice, but that is not sinful. Sometimes a brāhmaṇa is sacrificing, offering, performing great sacrifice, and the animal is put into the fire just to give him renovated, new life, not for killing, just to test how Vedic mantras are being properly pronounced. That will be test. When sacrifice is done, the fire is there, and old animal is put into the sacrifice, and he comes out with a new body. That means the Vedic mantras are being pronounced very properly, and it is being carried out. This is the experiment, not for killing. Although in the Vedas there are recommendation that paśu-vadha system... Just like in the modern age also, when some experiment is made, it is made on the life of the animal. But they are killed. But when there is recommendation of putting an animal in the fire, that is not for killing; that is to see that this animal has got a new body.
Lecture on BG 2.14 -- London, August 20, 1973
Pradyumna: Aśvamedha-yajñas or gomedha-yajñas, or the sacrifices in which a horse or a bull is sacrificed, were not, of course, for the purpose of killing the animals. Lord Caitanya said that such animalssacrificed on the altar of yajña were rejuvenated and a new life was given to them. It was just to prove the efficacy of the hymns of the Vedas. By recitation of the hymns of the Vedas in the proper way, certainly the performer gets relief from the reactions of sins. But in case of such sacrifices not properly done under expert management, certainly one has to become responsible for animal sacrifice."
Prabhupāda: This is a long subject matter. But the sacrifice in yajña, recommended, that is not for killing the animal, but it is a testing, how the Vedic mantras are being properly chanted. Because an oldanimal put into the fire, by Vedic mantras he would come out again with young life. That is sacrifice of animals in the yajña. Therefore in this age there is no such expert brāhmaṇa who can chant the mantras properly or he can behave because the life is very abominable. Therefore, because there is no expert brāhmaṇa, so these sacrifices are forbidden in this age. Kalau pañca vivarjayet aśvamedhaṁ gavālambhaṁ devareṇa sutotpattiṁ sannyāsam (CC Adi 17.164). These things are forbidden in this age, because there is no proper men to conduct.
Lecture on SB 1.8.52 -- Los Angeles, May 14, 1973
The purpose of the Vedas is to establish such principles under the order of the Supreme Lord, and the Lord directly orders, at the end of the Gītā, that the highest principle of religion is to surrender unto Him only, and nothing more. The Vedic principles push one towards complete surrender unto Him; and whenever such principles are disturbed by the demoniac, the Lord appears. From the Bhāgavatam we understand that Lord Buddha is the incarnation of Kṛṣṇa who appeared when materialism was rampant and materialists were using the pretext of the authority of the Vedas. Although there are certain restrictive rules and regulations regarding animal sacrifice for particular purposes in the Vedas, people of demonic tendency still took to animal sacrifice without reference to the Vedic principles. Lord Buddha appeared to stop this nonsense and to establish the Vedic principles of nonviolence.
BG 4.7, Purport
Lord Buddha, a powerful incarnation of the Personality of Godhead, appeared in the province of Gayā (Bihar) as the son of Añjanā, and he preached his own conception of nonviolence and deprecated even the animal sacrifices sanctioned in the Vedas. At the time when Lord Buddha appeared, the people in general were atheistic and preferred animal flesh to anything else. On the plea of Vedic sacrifice, every place was practically turned into a slaughterhouse, and animal-killing was indulged in unrestrictedly. Lord Buddha preached nonviolence, taking pity on the poor animals. He preached that he did not believe in the tenets of the Vedas and stressed the adverse psychological effects incurred by animal-killing. Less intelligent men of the age of Kali, who had no faith in God, followed his principle, and for the time being they were trained in moral discipline and nonviolence, the preliminary steps for proceeding further on the path of God realization. He deluded the atheists because such atheists who followed his principles did not believe in God, but they kept their absolute faith in Lord Buddha, who himself was the incarnation of God. Thus the faithless people were made to believe in God in the form of Lord Buddha. That was the mercy of Lord Buddha: he made the faithless faithful to him.
SB 1.3.24, Purport
The horse sacrifice yajña or cow sacrifice yajña performed by the Vedic regulations shouldn't be misunderstood as a process of killing animals. On the contrary, animals offered for the yajña were rejuvenated to a new span of life by the transcendental power of chanting the Vedic hymns, which, if properly chanted, are different from what is understood by the common layman. The Veda-mantras are all practical, and the proof is rejuvenation of the sacrificed animal.
SB 1.12.34, Purport
According to sacrificial rituals, animals are sometimes sacrificed in the yajña arena. Such animals are sacrificed not to kill them but to give them new life. Such action was an experiment to observe whether the Vedic mantras were being properly pronounced. Sometimes small animals are killed in a medical laboratory to investigate therapeutic effects. In a medical clinic, the animals are not revived, but in the yajña arena, when animals were sacrificed, they were again given life by the potency of Vedic mantras. The word śipi-viṣṭāya appears in this verse. Śipi means "the flames of the sacrifice." In the sacrificial fire if the oblations are offered into the flames, then Lord Viṣṇu is situated there in the form of the flames. Therefore Lord Viṣṇu is known as Śipiviṣṭa.
SB 4.13.35, Purport
You can read more about the same:
Do the Vedic literature allow meat-eating? Did Hinduism adopt vegetarianism from Buddhism? - The Spiritual Scientist
Thank you.

Help I feel like I am living in a parents nightmare! There are a lot of issues here so bare with me...
First of all, The most important part of this is my son told me a couple days ago that his dad and step mom both spank him and lock him in his room when he is in trouble and his dad threatened him by saying that next time he hits someone he better hope the cops get to him before his dad does because he is going to whoop his ass. I have asked my son before if his dad hits him and he has always told me no. but a couple weeks ago I saw a large bruise on his butt. I did ask him and he told me he didn't remember what it was from. I realize that I should probably call DHS or CPS but I know my son will not tell on his father and my son is currently at his fathers house and I don't want to cause him to get hit more if that is what is happening. I can see that he is scared of him and desperately wants his approval. Do I wait until my son is back in my care or will it look bad that I didn't report right away?
Secondly I need advice on the best course of action for proving that my ex is alienating me and trying to gain control of everything to make himself look like the more responsible parent.. Since getting divorced in 2022 I have had several issues with my ex husband regarding our child. First off our divorce hearing went not so well for me.. He had not seen our child except some weekends here and there over the course of a year and a half before we went to court but was hell bent on not paying me any child support so when it came time to discuss custody he asked for 50/50 and joint decision making and he got it. He made it seem to the judge that I had been purposely keeping our child away from him over that time and she bought it despite him having no evidence. I had no idea he was going to lie on the stand so I was unprepared and neither of us had lawyers. He still had to pay me some child support since I was paying for daycare but shortly after our divorce was final he enrolled our son in a different daycare and put him on his wife's medical insurance without telling me. I only found out because he took me to mediation to have his child support reassessed and he now pays me no child support. At first I thought that was his goal was so I was agreeable now I believe his goal is to get full custody of our son and remove me from his life as much as possible.
Since getting 50/50 custody his wife has been the one caring for my son. She picks him up and drops him off everywhere he goes except for exchanges at my house. She fills out any paperwork needed for my son including medical paperwork. They also repeatedly decide where he is going to go to after-school care, summer care, and sports without including me. I have reminded him repeatedly that even though he is paying he is still supposed to include me in these decisions and he always has an excuse why he thinks its ok that he doesn't. His wife signs consent on my sons paperwork as if she is his mother and leaves me off the paperwork completely. She doesn't even include me as a emergency contact. I also discovered that she has used my SS# on my sons dental paperwork under her name. The problem is because she is putting her info on the paperwork I cannot get copies of anything to prove it since it would be a hippa violation for anyone to give it to me. Can she really be giving consent for him as a step parent? especially for medical appointments. What can I do about it?
Over the last couple years my son has had behavior issues at school and is acting out aggressively towards teachers and the school counselor. My ex took this as an opportunity to enroll our son into a school in his district. (he was in mine initially). However was against our son going to therapy. I finally got him to agree to therapy after quite some time but demanded that our son go to one very specific place that does family therapy where my ex can be in the room with our son while he is there. He also demanded that our son go on Saturdays so that we can both take him separately since we alternate weekends. I got the referrals for therapists and chose a different one. My son loves her and he had major improvements in behavior until recently. She does not have weekends available but I welcomed my ex to come to therapy any time he wants and shared the therapists info and gave her his info as well. He is not happy and is still demanding I take our son to the place he wants and has been sending mean emails to the therapist questioning her ethics and telling our son that he is going to have her arrested. She is ready to quit because she is so uncomfortable.
Its worth noting that my ex also rarely allows me to have contact with my son while he is at his house. Does not allow me to pick my son up from his house for exchanges and will not share info about sports or activities that my son is enrolled in so that I cannot attend them.
They have both said things to my son to try to turn him against me. They have told him that he and I are not a family because I am not remarried or have a father figure for my son in my household. They have told him that I am mean to his stepmom and I don't want her around. They have even gone so far as to tell my son that his step mom is his actual mom and that he should not trust me. They also seem to be telling him that they are going to move away to the mountains at some point. Neither his dad or I are allowed to move out of our current county without going back to court first. I think this is why he wants full custody.
We only speak through talking parents so most of this is documented on there. I am unsure if resources like CASA or TESSA would be helpful to me? My ex was aggressive towards me while we were together but never hit me so I never reported him. I do not have tons of money to spend on a lawyer but I will take out a loan if I have to. I did hire a lawyer previously and they were not much help and I ended up firing them before any action was taken. They told me that it was unlikely that custody would be changed and that it is very hard to prove parental alienation or emotional abuse of a child. Someone has also suggested that I get an attorney ad litem.. Surely the things that he and his wife are doing are not allowed but is a judge really just going to give him a slap on the wrist and let things keep going the way they are? I really feel at this point that my son needs to be in my custody or at the very least I should have full decision making to stop his father from alienating me. What would be the best thing for me to do?

It’s gonna be my birthday soon. My parents asked if I wanted to go to Disneyland for my birthday. At first I said yes, but I remembered the last time I was taken to Disneyland for my birthday. My little sister (9) was there. The whole time she was their main focus, and I just strolled along behind them. Never felt so worthless in my whole life. Not my sisters fault what so ever. Just my parents trying to have a “second chance” at being better parents as they said with my little sister since they kinda fucked up with me and my other siblings. No biggie :] I began thinking about it and decided that I no longer wanna go to Disneyland just because of that exact reason. But I don’t want my sister to miss out on Disneyland. She’s not gonna be young forever and she deserves all the happiness. But, I just can’t go with her if I know that exact scenario is gonna happen again. I feel like I should just suck it up for her. I dunno. Any advice is appreciated.

hi, i am 42 and i feel all i have in my life is my job and my parents of whom i live with.
i have no children or family or my own, and this failing has been eating away at me. tried to do something about it but nothing availed (career? string of dead end jobs. women? never reply or can ever get close to on a personal level). after my grandmum died a few weeks ago i really do begin to feel the clock ticking and this anxiety and worry, i dont know if thats a midlife crisis.
all i know, this is not just an episode of being 'down in the dumps'. its been something i feel its been growing inside me for years - not in my head, but feeling it from my gut. i'm starting to feel it interrupting my job. my get up and go has got up has gone. i just dont feel like working even though the rational part of me forces myself to just do it. i dont know if i have depression but lately i am in this state where i just dont feel like doing anything and i am just unhappy.
i used to be a gamer in my 30s as a hobby, but i havent even touched my ps5 for over 6 months. i've sold all my games. i just lost the will to play.
i have been seeing a counsellor for 11 years in trying to 'get help' (as everyone keeps saying) but i feel its done hardly anything for me. she has aspired me to do travelling to get out my comfort zone and meet people, which i have done. but thats it. even travelling is becoming meaningless now because i am constantly in this state of preoccupation. i know after a big holiday i'll never see those people again even if they add me on facebook or not (and when they don't, it hurts).
people say talk to friends and family. i have no real friends. never have. when i was a little boy in school, i was bullied. in secondary school i got focused on my studies thinking that eventually, a degree would unlock a life of fabulous riches. but i eventually learned the hard way with years of unemployment that it wasnt, back then. i tried reaching out to people, online via a facebook group, but it descended to insults and hurtful remarks that left me banned and made me punched the wall. my family doesnt know about my feelings, becaise from what i have seen, mental health is seen as taboo. they'll just admonish me, shout me down, tell me to get a grip. i cant really talk to them because they're going to deny theres a problem. and i dont want to break their hearts, especially my parents. i rather soak the pain than bring them in it. i love them too much to see them feel hurt for me.
social groups - when going out, if its not work or a family function, i largely have social anxiety. i so badly want to meet women and get a girlfriend, who hopefully becomes my wife and eventual mother to my kids and form my new family, but i just seem incapable of it. i just cant get close to a woman at that personal and intimate level. if i try, it results in failure and embarassment. at the rare times i did try, it just doesnt come out right. i once went to salsa dancing class in a big city nearby, trying to talk to women, but the anxiety was so overwhelming, i couldnt breathe, and thought i was going to have a heart attack, i had to get out of there. i never been back since. i dont even go to pubs. i think about women more and more - even women i wasnt attracted to at first, drives me crazy now. i remember when leaving a job to move to another, a lady colleague i worked alot with hugged me, and it felt unlike anything i felt before. it was amazing. the softness, the warmth, the care...its as if i was missing that my whole life. i was close to crying. i want to experience true closeness, and intimacy.
thats not to say i'm a virgin. i lost my virginity at 30 to an escort; that was a unsatisfying experience as even then i had anxiety and couldnt perform properly - i did it because i didnt wanted to be the '30 year old virgin'. i just cant seem to get close with women. i tend to obsess about them. my instagram feed is full of attractive women. seeing beautiful ones on tv, even if its just the weather girl or news reader, it drives me nuts. in my job, i work with journalists, and theres many women there. i can talk to them confidently and easily, IF ITS ABOUT WORK. the instances i tried to talk about life in trying to get to know them and get close to them, the barrier goes up. i can tell because they wont add me on fb or whatever. i just cant seem to hack it with women. no woman = no wife = no mother to my children = no family of my own = no legacy.
i appreciate some might say not having family should not mean one is a failure. however, as much as i tried to ignore it, i come from a culture whereby family trumps everything else - money, career, hobbies, everything. i been ignoring it for years. trying to chase a career, which ended up as a string of dead end temporary jobs. losing 15 years of my life to this, living from temp job to temp job, and going to over 200 job interviews in getting secure employment, enduring hundreds of devastating rejections. but, years later, i now have at least job security, which is most important, but am beginning to feel the limit of my pay. trying to chase a career, spending nights throughout the 2010s playing video games and enjoying my gaming career in that, playing adventure games...but now i have reached a point where i've 'run out' of games to play and nothing (except maybe gta6) will interest me in picking up a controller again. i've grown out of it, it seems. i even been travelling more too - i travel far, and so big holidays. from usa, to africa, to europe, to india, and soon to be going to australia... doing all sorts of holidays from cruises, ranch holidays, safari, hiking, group road trips, wildlife conservation volunteering, sailing the mediterrarian - grand, amazing experiences that does suspend my worries... but in the end, i keep coming back to them, this feeling of emptiness.
my big fear is seeing my parents get older and dying from a broken heart caused by me. my dad worked in construction but is retired and now freelances, and he tends to hurt himself in accidents as he gets clumsy. my mother works in a school. i have always lived with my family except during the years i was at university. i feel my mum and dad are my 'best friends' - sad as it sounds -and the thought of them both going to die somepoint in the future, fills me with dread. because i feel i have failed them, in not continuing the family line. failing to secure a legacy for us. to keep us all going, surviving through the next generation. when i think about it deeply, our bloodline has been passed down for thousands of years, surviving through all sorts such as wars, plagues, and revolutions. i feel compelled to continue it, as if its a duty, and i dont want my parents to die with their last thoughts being disappointment. i can see it in my dads eyes already, the sadness. he wants to play with his grandchildren, but he has none, and all his friends shows off their grandkids. similarly with me, i see people i went to school with, and ex-colleagues i used to work with...they all have kids and a house of their own and a car. i have none of that. i stand NO chance buying a house of my own as i simply can't afford it, and renting will be throwing my money away living on other peoples crap. i said to my parents i want to inherit this home when they go, because my memories are here. my history. our family memories. my happy childhood memories, growing up, the birthdays, playing with my brother, my parents, the fun times growing up, coming back from school, doing homework, watching football together on the TV in the 90s, our first pc, all of it. all of these amazing experiences back then, i love to go through again, but this time with my own kids, seeing them grow up, playing with toys, drawing, having a first pet, etc...to navigate life with them as a father, and teaching them what i believe is required to be a good person.
before you say it, i'm not just doing it for my parents. i want a family for myself. i feel if i failed to have children, failed to find someone who loves me, failed to have any friends, failed to have had any influence or imprint on the world nomatter how small - i actually feel i'm not part of this world. to quote ellie from the last of us, my life would not have 'fkn mattered'. its as if i am a 'watcher', if that makes sense, not part of the fabric of this world and civilisation. watching it all from a window. that'll lead me to questions like why i am i here, leading to a probable, and painful, full-on existential crisis. when its my parents' time, when they grow old and die, and if i'm left all alone, i dont think i'd want to live anymore. i'm praying to find something. of course, i know i have to DO something, but my mind draws a blank. i cant ignore what my body is telling me anymore. but then, i step outside the house, and i dont know what to do, socially. when i approach someone, i get anxiety attacks. in my town, people are aggressive - its also possible if i approach a woman here i might end up getting assaulted, shouted at or shamed. sometimes theres no place to really go as i live in a small town. and as you get older, its harder to make friends, as people already have their established circles. i even remember my ex-manager talking to colleagues about this when we had a drink once and she asked 'how do you meet people' even though shes in her 50s and has established family and friends - indeed. how, for those who do not.
for coping, some people elsewhere suggested exercising. this is something i tend to do, but perhaps not enough of. i like to go on walks. theres a public park where i go and feed the ducks. seeing animals makes me happy. when the baby ducks swim to me wanting the kibble food it makes me feel wanted. i love animals. from dogs, cats and ducks - to even wild animals like the tigers i saw in india. i also did some hiking holidays, including going through some american national parks like yosemite, where i saw a family of bears at a distance. travelling is something i like to do too - in fact, i have more 'big' holidays coming up in usa again (alaska this summer), then australia, europe (croatia), the canadian rockies and maybe south america. i do these trips to get that out-of-body, 'blown away' feeling, of being thrilled, alive, and enjoying and experiencing life. it does help. but travelling is expensive. i'm not made of money.
all i want, is my own family..

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of drugs and Religion
Little bit of backstory: I have three siblings, a sister (f32), and two brothers (M30 & M31). I am the youngest (f17). I'll call my brothers Brian and Miles (who this story is about), my sister will be called Marie.
Miles, Marie, and I all share the same Dad. Brian and I share the same Mom.
Growing up, I never had the best relationship with neither Miles nor Marie. They were never really in my life growing up, and because of that I didn't know much about them. Brian, however, was my rock. He was with me since I was a baby, and was the one who I was around the most.
Marie was there sometimes, on and off in my life. I saw her and her kids sometimes, and she would come over for food and celebrations.
Miles, on the other hand, I never really saw. As a small child I only saw him once a year for my birthday. But when I was around the age of 9 or 10 he just stopped coming. He up and left without warning.
When I was 13 I saw him again. Only now he was different, he did drugs now and he surrounded himself with bad people. I was a pretty naive kid was was just happy to have him back despite that. A few months after seeing him, he left our family in shambles and I never saw him again.
4 and a half years later. I see him again, which leads us to this story.
My Dad's birthday was just this Thursday and I took him out to eat. The rest of my family had planned to throw him a party Sunday (Which as of right now, is today).
Anywho, Sunday comes and I am informed that my brother was going to show up without any earlier notice. I was told two minutes before he arrived.
My relationship with my brother went downhill when he started doing drugs. He became addicted and the way he acted terrified me. He kept talking about God and how he was the 'next Jesus Christ' or something like that. It also didn't help that he made gross creepy comments about me when I was thirteen. He also shit talked my mom. And when he did eventually come back, he was never interested in anything I had to say.
He always said he would 'be better' for me and that I just had to 'believe on him' but I honestly can't say I have anything good to say about him.
He hurt me, a lot. He was a liar and it felt like he had abandoned me.
Safe to say I wasn't going to be sticking around for his visit. I made polite conversation with him (a simple hello, how have you been, stuff like that) and then I hunkered up in my room. I plan on staying in my room the whole day.
So, would I be the Asshole?
Will update if anything happens

Happy Monday, Barkada --

The PSE lost 10 points to 6619 ▼0.1%

Today is MB's 5th birthday!
I'm not really a big celebrations guy, so I'm not sure how to mark the occasion, except to say that I'm thankful for your continued readership and for the community of great people that has grown up around the newsletter as the days turned into weeks, turned into months, and turned into years.
Want to see something crazy? Here's MB's very first episode.
For those who have been there from the beginning, thank you for guiding MB's development through all of my weird experiments over the years. Your comments, support, and willingness to help always leave me speechless.
For those who support MB on Patreon now and in the past, your generosity in paying for something that you receive for free is humbling. Your support has helped me build scripts, host my site, and pay for help.
For those who contribute to MB directly, like Jewel, and to all of my partners, Mike Tan of Vini.com, Ely Paclibar (Your REIT Buddy), and Investagrams, thank you for working with me every morning to stitch this newsletter together. It wouldn't be the same without you.
Today is something of a long episode, but I hope you'll indulge me on MB's birthday because I really hope that you'll like the segment about the team of traders that I've sponsored to enter the Trading Cup 2024 competition, and the review of Alternergy's STAR Investor Day presentation.
Hope you like it!

▌In today's MB:

• PSE suspends PNX, C, and INFRA
• Zobels sell remaining MWC holdings
• TC24: Introducing MB's Trading Cup 2024 team!
  • The Trading Cup competition
  • Meet Matthew, Jenny, and Sef
  • Good luck team!
• Alternergy's first public Q&A
  • Its growth strategy
  • Outlook of renewables market
  • Why it loves wind
  • When dividends?

▌Daily meme Subscribe (it's free) Today's email

▌Today's sponsor: DoubleDragon

▌Main stories covered:

• [UPDATE] PNX, C, and INFRA suspended for failure to submit Annual Reports... The PSE issued suspensions to three companies [link] prior to the open of trade on Friday morning for failure to submit FY23 Annual Reports. The three companies suspended are Phoenix Petroleum [PNX 4.17 ▼0.2%; 0% avgVol], Chelsea Logistics [C 1.30 ▲4.0%; 0% avgVol], and Philippine Infradev [INFRA 0.53 ▲1.9%; 0% avgVol]. AgriNurture [ANI 0.62 ▲8.8%; 305% avgVol] narrowly avoided suspension by submitting its Annual Report 38 minutes before the PSE’s suspension deadline. The ANI FY23 Annual Report disclosure erroneously reports a net income improvement of 1560% to ₱146 million, instead of a ₱146 million net loss, perhaps this oversight comes from a behind-the-scenes race to submit before the deadline.
  
  • MB: I’m married to an accountant who did the auditing grind for years, so I know that it’s not easy to put these reports together; they’re complex and knock-ons from problems in any of the subsidiaries can cause problems that ripple up the chain and back down. That being said, producing these annual reports is something of a bare-minimum condition of public corporate life. Every management group rides its accounting department and its auditing team into the dirt to get its quarterly and annual reports out on time. I don’t have any inside knowledge into why PNX, C, and INFRA are in this position, but I listen to the silence from these management groups. Good teams communicate with their minority shareholders in times of uncertainty, and a trading suspension is a time of great uncertainty for retail investors.
• [NEWS] **Ayala Corp sells remains of its MWC holdings to Enrique Razon for ₱14.5-B... Ayala Corp [AC 620.00 ▲1.3%; 131% avgVol] [link] disclosed that its subsidiaries, Michigan Holdings and Philwater Holdings, would sell their combined holdings in Manila Water Company [MWC 26.60 ▼1.5%; 123% avgVol] to Trident Water Company Holdings (TWC), which is owned by MWC’s current owner, Enrique Razon. The combined value of the two sales to TWC is ₱14.5 billion. The block of shares coming to TWC through Michigan Holdings was already processed and paid-for (~₱12.9 billion), and the remaining ₱1.6 billion worth of shares from Philwater Holdings will be purchased in installments over the next five years. AC confirmed that it will have no post-transaction common share interest in MWC, and that its voting stake will be “nil”.
  
  • MB: In a weird way, the transfer of ownership and control of MWC from the Zobel Family to the Razon Family is one of the only lasting “achievements” of the Duterte administration. I put “achievements” in quotation marks because it’s not clear how the President’s overreach into the public markets benefitted anyone other than the obvious (MWC’s current owner). As longtime readers of MB will know I have a deep respect for Mr. Razon’s business acumen and operational quality, but I don’t know that MWC customers have necessarily felt any change as a result of this transfer, and I don’t know that minority shareholders have felt any change either. So maybe it was just Mr. Razon in the right place at the right time while Duterte rode the media waves of threatening the Zobels with death and dismemberment? Yeah, it was a weird time.
• [TC24] Introducing MB’s Trading Cup 2024 team!...Merkado Barkada** is sponsoring a team of three traders to compete in Trading Cup 2024 hosted by Investa, where hundreds of traders will be competing for up to ₱640k in total prizes based on their trading performance with ₱300k in virtual currency across the PSE, US markets, and crypto markets. This is a long competition (it runs from April 22 through July 26), so we will follow the members of Team MB throughout the contest to check in on what’s working, what’s not working, and what it’s like on the front-lines of the country’s largest trading tournament. Let’s meet the team!
  
  • “Hi I’m Matthew. I’m a project manager in network engineering in the telecommjnications industry and an agency leader in one of the top global brands in insurance. I have been trading since 2016. Though I like momentum trading, I found more success in position trading because it is less volatile since I can only check my open positions during my free time.” Matthew is 37 and lives in Paranaque. Trading experience: PSE (8 years), US (1 year), CRYPTO (1 year).*
  • “Hi I'm Jennelyn. I'm a Civil Engineer by profession in a government organization. I started trading back in 2020 for a year. I was reckless back then, but I've learned a lot, I'd say. I stopped trading in 2021 to focus on my career and I shifted my trading journey to learning first. Now with the Trading Cup I've found another motivation to push through. I tried day trading, and it was really frustrating and draining, so this time I'm doing swing trading through price action and volume.
  • “My name is Sef. I'm currently in college studying Management. I've been mostly self-taught but over the years I took a lot of learnings from other people. I've tried a lot of strategies but most of the time I'm a swing trader. So, I try to look for strong catalysts and take positions within times of consolidations. My implementation of it during the competition hasn't been perfect, partly due to finals week. But I trust in the process. I've been trading in the PSE for 5 years now. I only started trading the US markets and Crypto, recently. I think my current performance in the competition is reflective of my experience within the three markets. [PSE: +17.4%, CRYPTO: +4.2%, US: -11.5%]. We still have a few months to go and it's still anyone's game. A lot of the top leaderboard right now is primarily driven by 1 or 2 positions that no one saw coming, I think you can guess which stocks I'm referring to.
    • MB: Welcome to the team, Matthew, Jenny, and Sef! My goal in founding Team MB is to give readers a little insight into the thought processes behind the winning and losing trades of each team member. We have a diverse group across age, background, experience, and trading style, so I think we’ll get some interesting perspectives on the markets as the weeks go by before the July 26 finale. The team members will get to keep 100% of any prizes that they win, along with a monthly stipend from Merkado Barkada for all the coffee/snacks needed to keep focus on all three markets simultaneously. Good luck, team!
• [NEWS] Alternergy conducts first public Q&A since IPO... Alternergy [ALTER 0.70 ▲1.4%; 159% avgVol] presented its Q1 results on Wednesday as part of the PSE’s STAR Investor Day event, and MB was there to document its first public Q&A with institutional and retail investors since its IPO over a year ago. For me, the most interesting component of any STAR presentation is the Q&A, because it’s where we get the chance to hear the management team talk outside of the the cold forensics of the financial statements to address the hope, fear, optimism, and pessisim of the average investor.
  
  • On enhancing shareholder value: The ALTER team said that it’s focus is on controlling what it can control, and that as a developer, it does everything that it can to complete projects “within the timeline and committed budget”, increase its pipeline, and build good relationships with stakeholders.
  • On its growth strategy: ALTER said that its “DNA is a developer”, and therefore its “preference is brownfield development” as opposed to acquisitions. (MB note: “Brownfield” means development on land that has been previously used for some other purpose. “Greenfield” would be development on untouched land.) The management team said that it is open to being “opportunistic” with acquisitions, but that its overall focus is on “looking for projects from the ground and building them toward completion.”
  • On outlook of renewables market: “The power industry is really at the point where there is a sustained pressure towards a price increase.” The ALTER team said that there’s a shortage of power supply, and what existing supply there is will come under pressure as power plants age or weather phenomena disrupt operations. ALTER said that it’s strategy is to simply grow its portfolio into this market gap, especially over the next two years.
  • On wind vs solar: The ALTER team was asked whether it was intentional to be “more exposed to wind rather than solar”, and ALTER responded by saying that while both wind and solar are scalable, they “like wind” because it generates more electricity per installed capacity. As the ALTER team put it: “For instance, if we build a 50 MW solar, you’ll only need a 25 MW wind project to match the amount of energy that we will be generating.” ALTER said that wind is also less intensive in terms of land use to generate the same amount of energy, and that its analysis shows that wind projects generate more cash flow than solar projects.
  • On starting to distribute dividends: *One question asked when ALTER would start paying dividends, and the ALTER team responded (after a laugh) that it’s “all about resource allocation”. ALTER said that at this stage, it’s a growth company, and that it would like to use its resources to build a “sizeable portfolio over the medium term” with the goal of “increasing shareholder value.” ALTER said that once it has achieved that goal, “dividend payments would not be far behind.
    • MB:Kudos to any management team that takes questions from the public. It’s not easy to be this communicative and transparent, but as a long-term investor, this kind of insight into the management team’s thinking and analysis of their own data and the market as a whole is important. If your trading style is technical, ALTER’s analysis of wind versus solar isn’t going to matter to you at all, but if your thesis is based on bets in the power generation sector, that response might trigger some research that could be helpful. Overall I’d say that the ALTER team did very well. It was clear that they were nervous, but over time I’m sure the team will become more comfortable with answering the questions and interacting with the investing community in such a person-to-person way. Well done, ALTER!

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