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[Fighting people in dawats over social issue for less than 30 seconds]
[outro, showing patreons featured at the end]
Dan perri: Podel, Keep it up with star wars intros

So my partner (M) and I (F) got a couples massage 2 days ago. I’m really unsure of what to do and if this is the wrong subreddit my apologies. I’ve tried searching Reddit for any similar situations but I couldn’t find any so I’m just going to make my own post. Sorry this is gonna be a long one.
The place had great reviews on all platforms. We booked the couples massage that cost $190 for both of us. The first red flag was the massage place was situated in a rented office building. Definitely not a spa at all. We should’ve left at that point but decided to trust the good reviews and trust the process. They seemed very nice and professional. There was a male and female therapist. We assumed the male would be working on my male partner and the female would be working on me (F) as they did not ask us what we would be most comfortable with. The only thing they asked us is medium or strong pressure and we said medium.
Onto the massage. They told us to undress and lay face down on the tables, so we did not know who was massaging us. The massage was was painful. My partner has a very high pain tolerance and even he said it hurt. They were digging into our spines with their elbows. I was actually worried I was going to get a spine injury. The entire time it felt like we were getting pinched and elbowed. They would go over the same spots for 5+ minutes to the point of it just straight up hurting. At one point i genuinely questioned if they knew what they were doing. I will admit we should have spoken up. But personally i have anxiety when it comes to speaking up and my partner thought I was enjoying the massage so he did not say anything.
When the second half of the massage came around and I flip over, I see the man working on me. I felt frozen and didn’t even know what to do. Uncomfortable is truly an understatement. This MAN had been running his hands all over my body, at one point when I was face down he even tucked the sheet into my underwear and was massaging my butt. I truly felt disgusted. I look over and the female therapist is literally WALKING on my partner. Finally it’s over and we pay. I swear the man was looking and smirking at me, but I just thought my discomfort was making me read into it. Maybe it was just a friendly smile. Idk. We tried to shake it off and chalk it up to just be a bad massage therapist match or something, because no way 100+ people had amazing experiences and we did not.
The next morning my spine felt sore reminding me of the awful experience we had. So I wrote reviews on yelp and Google. Shortly after I posted them they reached out very kindly and apologized that it wasn’t up to par and offered a partial refund. I thought oh that’s nice. And then they said they will partially refund us $40 if we take down our reviews. That’s when everything made sense. They pay people to take down bad reviews. I looked closer and the handful of 1 star reviews said the same exact thing we experienced. One couple was lucky enough to get out before it really even begun.
This is when their messages began to get more hostile. They tried to make everything our fault. They claimed half way through the massage they asked my partner (not me) if it’s ok that the man is working on me and he supposedly didn’t answer because he was “sleeping”. He was not sleeping because there is no way anyone could sleep through that excuse of a massage. Basically just excuses. I really hated that they weren’t taking accountability and were trying to blame us for their awful service. Again they only asked us one question and that was medium or strong pressure. They became less apologetic and more hostile, pointing fingers at us.
We were going to take the $40 and just repost the review but we weren’t sure if that violates any terms of use and didn’t want to get banned from any platform. So we just decided to leave the reviews up. After expressing this, they threatened to report our conversation to google and yelp. We were confused because if anything they would expose themselves for trying to coerce us into removing our bad review. So now we don’t know what to do. I’ve looked all over to try and figure out how to report these people. They claim they are licensed but I don’t think they are. Everything about this massage and this business makes me feel so icky and if I can save just one person from feeling the way I do as a result of going to them, I want to do it. Our reviews only brought them down to a 4.7 rating. I need to do more. I fully plan on seeing this through. If I’m being honest I would love to get them shut down, but I don’t know if I can single handedly do that. Please help!

(Cong Rats u/Xerxes250! You've been FICNAPPED, EKEKEKEK! Thanks to u/Espazilious, u/CaptainMatthew1, and u/T00Dense for supporting me in Group 3 of the Ficnapping!
That's right, I've Ficnapped Hazardous Recovery, a very well-written fic. I'd recommend it to those looking for a more... tech-inspired fic.
So, enjoy the dumb stuff.)
-====================================-
Memory Transcription Subject: Kimmich, currently dying inside
Date [standardized human time]: October 25, 2136
If I had been made aware that one of the first days we were on Earth was going to be spent sitting in a predator's house, looking at sheets of paper, and listening to said predator prattle on about silly plastic shapes with numbers on them I'd have refused the trip as a whole. The whole concept seemed like a massive waste of time, not only for us but for him too. Unfortunately, I was trapped here by the whims of Vemnka and Sevkan, and they never let up a chance to see new human past times.
Andre, for his part, had been slow with us, letting us ease into the new living situation with relative laxity on where we were allowed to go. We'd already watched a few movies, played a few "video games", and even listened to some of his music. It was... enjoyable. Even with the obvious attempts to cover up a whole heap of predatory behaviors, Andre had managed to get us feeling somewhat welcome.
Until he had us sit at his kitchen table and write out the Venlilian numerical system, to which he responded with a chuckle, "Looks like Skaven Scratch." He did not elaborate. At first, I thought the exercise was going to be a simple lesson on how to read human numbers. But no, it was far worse. Instead, Andre went to his workshop, scanned all the numbers, and began printing a bunch of geometric prisms with the numbers on them. Vemnka was the first to ask about their purpose as she picked up a dodecahedron, each side holding a numeral.
"Well, I figured we'd play a game, and these," he held up a worn version of the same shape Vemnka was holding, this one with human numbers on it, "are how we play."
Not even a minute later we were watching as he 'rolled' the 'dice' across a little pad on the table. "So, basically, these dice, the 'd6's will help us make our characters. I use the '4d6 minus the lowest rolled' method for stats, but there are other ways to do it."
Sevkan picked up a triangular prism and poked his paw pad with it. "And what about the rest of them," he asked as he tossed the plastic shape onto the pad.
"The one you just rolled is a 'd4', it's a damage dice. Same with the d6, 'd8', 'd10', and 'd12'. This," he held up a dice with ten sides, but with two separate numbers on each face, "is a percentile dice. Helps when I need to see what outcome happens when a random encounter starts, though we'll not be using it because we're doing a oneshot." He flicked it up with a click and caught it. Next, he picked up the same dodecahedron as before and rolled it. "Ouph, nat 1, less than ideal when starting a game."
"What does that mean," I asked, looking down at the twenty-sided dice; the side displaying '1' was facing up.
"A nat 1 is the worst roll on a 'd20'. It's a critical failure, which means if you roll a nat 1, something bad happens." He rolled it again as he talked, "The d20 is the most used dice because it's the 'check dice', you use it to figure out how well you did on an action. For instance," he reached across the table for a sheet of paper. Looking it over, I could see it was a 'character sheet', as Andre called them. "This is the strength stat," He pointed at a block on the left side of the paper, "It shows how strong your character is. If I were to roll this d20 and get a 13, but your strength stat is a 14, plus whatever save modifier you have, then I'd fail the check and either nothing would happen, or you'd get a reaction to my failure." He shifted his weight as he reached for the ground. With a plap, Andre brought up a hardbacked book. My translator had a bit of difficulty translating the text due to the font, but in the end, it spat out 'D&D Player's Handbook'. A small script of subtext under the cover art, which I ignored due to its content, read 'Everything a player needs to create heroic characters for the world's greatest roleplaying game.'
"A roleplaying game," Vamnka asked before Sevkan or I could formulate the words.
"Yep! A TTRPG, Dungeons and Dragons, D&D. I played this once or twice before my accident with the reactor room, but I think I still remember enough to DM for it."
This time Sevkan asked the question, "TTRPG and DM?"
"Tabletop roleplaying game, and Dungeon Master. I run the game, so I'm the dungeon master." He laid out three sets of three pieces of paper at each seat. It had the same words and markings as the one before him. "So, as I said, we're doing a one-shot because I can't be bothered with doing a whole ass campaign. Plus you won't be here forever and we have work to do at some point."
"I'll be making your characters with input from each of you. We're doing basic fifth edition rules because the newer editions, sixth up to ninth, all suck." He grabbed four of the d6 and held them aloft, looking at Sevkan, then Vemnka, and finally landing his gaze on me. I felt my fur rise but paid it no mind as he looked down at the dice before him. "Vemnka, you're going first." He picked up and tossed the dice to Vemnka who scrambled to grab all four before they had a chance to fall off the table.
"So, I just... toss them?" The quizzical flap of her left ear was met by a curt nod from Andre. "Alright," she said as her paw flicked the dice across the table. One landed on 1, another on 2, another on 3, and the final one on 6. "Twelve in total," she announced.
"Good, now remove the lowest number rolled and mark it down somewhere on the back of your sheet."
After five more rolls, Vemnka's stats totaled 11 in strength, 15 in intelligence, another 15 in constitution, 16 in wisdom, 16 in charisma, and 13 in dexterity.
Next was my turn. I rolled a 13, which I put into dexterity, a 14 in constitution, a 15 in charisma, a 16 in strength, another 16 in wisdom, and a 12 in intelligence.
Finally, Sevkan rolled a 12, which was placed in dexterity, a 13 in charisma, a 16 in constitution, a 10 in both wisdom and intelligence and, as Andre put it, the ever elusive 18 was put in strength.
With all that tedious, boring, unimportant, and downright torturous work out of the way, now was the time to get into character creation. Andre gave us the book to look over and told us to ask any questions we wanted if we needed to. I pulled up my pad's visual translator and began skimming the text.
-====================================-
Memory Transcription Subject: Vemnka, having the time of her life!
The book wasn't big, not by a long shot. I'd read books three to four times as long in [a day] or two. What the book contained, however, was an entirely different story. It wasn't just a rulebook, or handbook, as the cover suggested, it was a way to shape the wild imagination, to tame the itch to create.
And by the stars am I creating!
Andre told us we'd start by choosing class, race, and background. Of course, we had no idea what that meant, so he took us through it one at a time at a leisurely pace. He flipped through the book's pages before landing near the beginning, showcasing a stout-looking human with the undertext 'Dwarf' printed to the left.
After running through all of the vaguely human-like races to pick and a few classes that would shape our table-side adventure, I'd chosen to be a gnome cleric, which was a humorous choice. Andre said I'd primarily be healing, helping my team by keeping them in battle. I didn't mind the idea of being a sideliner, as long as I could help.
Dad had chosen to be a human 'paladin'. Andre explained that the term equated pretty easily to a form of holy guardian, in the form of a mortal, who the god of their faith gifted to defend those around them. Dad thought is was a pretty cool idea, especially the idea of "burning heretics away with holy fire," as Andre put it. It took him a bit longer to choose his race because he kept returning to the page with the almost-Arxur-looking Dragonborn. Still, after some coaxing, he finally let up on whatever was going on in his head and chose the easiest option, and the one Andre had recommended.
Finally, Sevkan had looked a bit farther into the game itself, finding a non-classified databook called "Player's Companion". Andre described it as a supplemental read, adding a bit more variety to the already large amount of options presented in the Player's Handbook. Sevkan took one look at it and immediately chose the Aarakocra, causing Andre to flinch. He said it'd be fine because the Aarakocra looked nothing like Krakotl, but Sevkan still apologized as best he could. He chose the fighter class, which was about as self-explanatory as possible.
Next was backgrounds, I chose to be an acolyte. It made sense in my head that a religious healer would have a background in religion. Dad leaned toward Folk Hero as his background, an option that both he and Andrew agreed would suit his character. Sev chose to be a hermit, which caught me and dad off guard after Andre gave us a rough rundown of what it was. An isolationist fighter, the sort of stuff that got you locked away.
"Alright," Andre said, leaning forward, looking between each of us again. I noticed Dad's fur rise a bit less than last time. Progress is progress. "We've got a Gnome Cleric, a Human Paladin, and an Aarakocra Fighter. Pretty good party dynamics for your first time even hearing about DnD. Now, for the most part, we've done everything we need to do together. From here you would have normally gone through stats and equipment, but I don't want to, and this is a oneshot so those aren't that important. Vem, on that last sheet, please mark down 'Spare the Dying', 'Sacred Flame', and 'Guidance'. Kimmich, on your last sheet, mark down 'Lay on Hands', 'Divine Smite', and 'Divine Sense'. Sev... you can just throw that sheet away. You won't be moving past where you are now."
Sevkan looked down at the sheet with a hint of sadness. To be fair to him, 'Spare the Dying' and 'Divine Smite' sounded cool, but before I could ask what they meant, Dad beat me to it. "What are these for? What do you mean?"
Andre rolled a D20 absent-mindedly, "Spare the Dying is a Cleric Cantrip that stabilizes a person who's taken fatal damage and is rolling death saves. Divine Smite is that whole 'BURN IN HOLY FIRE' thing I was talking about. Depending on how you flavor it, it's you wrapping your weapon in divine fire and burning away at your enemy's soul."
Despite his previous misgivings, ones which were practically plastered over his fur, Dad seemed honestly interested in the concept behind the Divine Smite. "And I just get to use it? Any time I want?"
"Well, not really." Andre pointed a finger toward me. "She has three cantrips which can be used at any time, you only have two. Divine Smite is an actual spell, as in its magic that requires you to utilize a spell slot. Lay on Hands is a contrip that can heal and Divine Sense allows you to detect certain types of creatures based on their alignment. Good and Evil in particular."
Sev spoke up, displaying confusion with his ears. "So why don't I get any spells or cantrips?" There was a degree of disappointment in his voice.
Andre leaned back with a chuckle, flexing his dexterous prosthetics as he clutched the d20 he'd been rolling. "Because, as a fighter, you probably have the most useful ability of them all. It's called 'Second Wind' and its essentially Lay on Hands but only you gain from it. It's an ability you can only use once per short rest, which we won't be needing to get into, which heals you for 1d10 plus your level, which all of you will be set at level 2.
"Again, we won't need much of the stuff in the books because this is A. Your first time and I want it to be fun, and B. A oneshot where nothing matters and we're here to have a good time. So, real quick," Andre grabbed a d8s and a d10 and began rolling them. "Vem," the d8 clacked across the table, landing on a 4, "you've got 15 health total. Because you're a light class, always expect to be on the lower side of health. Kimmich, you've got," he rolled the d10, it landed on an 8, "20 health, not a bad roll. And finally Sevkan," the d10 rolled across the table once more, the 5 side facing up. "18 health. Not too bad either, given your ability to heal yourself."
"How did you get those numbers," I asked, looking across the table at each of our sheets.
"While you all were reading, I put your modifiers where they belong, and changed what needed to be changed with your stats." Andre leaned over and pointed at Dad's sheet, "I increased each of your scores by one because you're human." He moved to mine, "I increased your intelligence by two." Then he moved to Sevkan's "And I increased your dexterity by 2 and wisdom by one. I made a slight mistake when asking you guys to roll, as usually, you'd choose race and class before putting your stat rolls anywhere, but you all seem to have put them in pretty good spots."
The three of us gave Andre amused looks, to which he raised an eyebrow. "Humans get an additional point in everything?" Sev asked with a small whistling laugh.
"Oh, uh. Yeah, now that there are actual other intelligent races in the galaxy that doesn't look too good does it?"
"It's fine," I said. It was plenty understandable, thinking you're the best at everything you do when there's no one to compare to. "So are we going to start?"
"Yep! Just one more thing. Weapons and armor are important to this, even if you don't have to use them all the time." Andre flipped to a page with a list of item names which I couldn't make ears or tails of. I recognized 'sword', 'bow', and 'spear' as ancient primitive weapons, but other than that everything else escaped me.
"I'm noting a lot of confusion. Anything you need to know?" Andre looked at us expectantly.
"What's a 'maul'," came Sevkan's response.
"Oh, that's a term for a large, two-handed warhammer. Usually, it's depicted as spiked on both ends. Imagine a very large, very crude sledgehammer with spikey bits."
"And a 'glaive'?" Dad asked next.
"I assume you know what a sword is?" We flicked our ears in affirmation. "Well, it's essentially a curved sword attached to a pole. It's made to look a specific way, if it wasn't then it'd probably just be called a Dao. Or maybe the Dao would be called a glaive. Maybe Glaive is just a type of polearm. I have no idea. Anyway, to speed this up, I'll be choosing the weapons and armor you can have for you, and don't worry, I'll use your attitudes as a reference for what you get. For you, Vemnka, I think the mace and shield combo will do nicely with the scale mail. Kimmich, you'd work well with two long swords to accompany your chainmail armor. And finally, Sevkan, a halberd with your chainmail will work fine. Sound good to everyone?"
I was a little disappointed at the stolen opportunity to continue building my character, I'd yet to come up with a name or backstory, as I was sure was the norm, but with the idea of starting taking center stage, I couldn't help but wag my tail.
-====================================-
Memory Transcription Subject: Sevkan, going down the rabbit hole
Andre put a thin plastic sheet over most of the table, took out a bundle of markers, and began drawing, much to our collective surprise.
The sheet was was smooth and cool to the touch, though not through any internal system, probably just from the back of the garage where Andre had found it. It had a grid printed over it, which Andre seemed to be using as a guide as he drew a boxy shape, marking certain areas with certain colors. There must have been a system he was following, one that none of us Venlil in the room had managed to pick up on, and we didn't want to interrupt Andre as we worked in case we caused him to mess up.
I looked over my character sheet, made mostly by Andre with small additions I felt like I needed to add. I still felt a little bad for not realizing how raw the image of a Krakotl must have been to Andre as I chose the Aarakocra, but he'd brushed it off swiftly and curtly, clearly not wanting to continue the line of thought. Still, I should've chosen a different race. The goliath looked cool and probably would have been a better fighter than a bird with hollow bones, but I also didn't want to drag the others much longer, so I kept silent.
At long last Andre stood at his full height and analyzed his work. "There we go. The battle map is set up, now for the tokens." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out three little white objects. I immediately recognized them as chess pieces. A rook, a knight, and a bishop were placed on the table, along with a dozen white pawns, some of which came from a different chess set, and four black pawns as well as a black king. The black pawns were marked with the colors, yellow, beige, green, and white. We quietly agreed which pieces we would be. Dad would be the knight, I would be the rook, and Vemnka would be the bishop.
Andre sat down and we began. "Alright, I've decided to pull the classic 'wake up in a tavern' DnD start because it's funny and I also didn't exactly plan this. So here we go. Please leave your questions for after I'm done talking."
"You wake up, each of you, around a wooden table in a comfortable tavern with candles above you and empty tankards before you. You look at each other and recognize if only barely, the friends you made last night through a bout of drinking and dancing. You feel the roaring of a hangover in your head as you each groan and attempt to lift your heads."
Andre pointed at the chess pieces, which must have represented our characters. "Please roll constitution to see if the hangover affects you in any major way. It's a d20 plus the number below the stat itself."
We looked at each other with slight confusion. Not at the command to roll, nor for its circumstance, but for the setting. Is this a human board game? I mean, I guess I expected something more akin to chess. but this is nothing like it. It's so... alien.
Dad rolled his d20 first; it landed on a 16, "An 18?"
"Yep, Kimmich, your character brushes off the hangover with ease. You still feel a buzzing in your head, but other than that, you're fit as a fiddle." Oh, I get it now. How interesting. I could see Dad and Vemnka twitch their ears in understanding as I rolled my d20.
It landed on 8. "Plus two, so an 11."
"Sevkan, your head hurts like hell but you're still able to function to a normal degree. If it weren't for your fellow drunkards you're sure you'd have to stumble around by your lonesome for a while."
Vemnka let out a laugh as she rolled her dice. While she had been aiming for the center of the table, the dice had other plans and shot off to the right, flying off the table and rolling under a stool in the kitchen. "Oops! I'll get it," she said, jumping out of her seat and lifting the stool. "It landed on 19," she beeped excitedly.
"Nope," Andre said, much to our surprise. "Rule two of dice: if it goes off the table, its results are null. I didn't make that rule, but I still follow it. Roll again."
Vemnka's ears drooped a bit, but she set herself and climbed back into her seat to roll again. This time the dice did as it was meant to and rolled across the table without falling off. It landed on... "A nat 20!"
"No shit?" Andre lept out of his chair to peer across the table toward the dice. "Well, I'll be damned, a 19 and a 20 in succession. Well, I guess you're just better than those other two. Your character's hangover is completely gone, you felt it for all but a second as you raise your head to see your Aarakocra companion still struggling with his."
"Is there anything I can do to help him?" She asked. Andre's lip curled upward slightly.
"Now you're getting it. It's a role-playing game. You have your roles, the ones you set up for yourself, and now you get to play them. And yes, there is something you can do to help. Roll me a medicine check. I'll add your modifier myself." The sound of a die rattling across the table ended with... "Another Nat 20?!"
We jumped at Andre's incredulous shout as he glared at the die before him. He seemed more angry at the dice than at Vemnka so I assumed we were probably not in trouble. How can we be? We didn't do anything that would make him angry. Why's he yelling?
"Sorry, but the chance of rolling two nat 20s in a row, while not astronomical, is pretty fucking low. Something like a one in four hundred chance, maybe more," Andre said, sitting back down and sighing deeply. "It's fine, just funny is all. Usually, RNJesus is on the DM's side, not the party's. Kinda nice to see a change of pace."
"RNJesus," we asked collectively.
"Don't worry about it, let's continue. Vemnka, you put your hand on Sevkan's shoulder and do some voodoo magic bullshit and pray to your god to heal his aching body. Miraculously, it works and Sevkan sits upright feeling light as a feather. The Aarakocra's headache is now on par with Kimmich's."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that, now let's get on with it. As Sevkan gets up and shakes off the remaining ebbing in his head, you all notice five less-than-reputable figures sitting in a booth at the far end of the tavern. Each wears a hood or cowl accompanied by a cloak, which hides their race and weapons from you, however, you can tell that one of them is considerably larger than the others. If you had to, you'd place it at about 226 cm (7'5") while those around it are around the average human height of 180 cm (6'0"). Roll me perception too."
We looked at each other at the description but shrugged it off as we rolled. I rolled a 7, Dad rolled a 19, and Vemnka rolled a 17.
"Both of you," he said, pointing at Vemnka and Dad with one hand, "See that they are pointing in your direction while the big one holds a piece of paper in his hand. It shows artistic renditions of the three of you, along with a long string of words you can't make out from your current distance. Kimmich, you hear them talking about a bounty and that you are the specified targets. Now it's time for you to react, how do you want to move forward?"
"Well," Vemnka said nervously. I could see her tail flick in my direction, looking for guidance, but I had none. "I suppose I'll confront them? I'm not sure what a bounty is exactly..."
"Really?"
We looked at Andre and the obviousness of the situation. If we didn't know what a word was, we knew it must have been predatory. "Right, sorry. Bounties are orders given to hired people to hunt people. For one reason or another, if someone wants someone dead then they'll place a bounty on their head. I'm not sure if it was ever actually a thing, but bounty hunters were popular during the Wild West days of the US. They usually brought criminals in for trial though, and usually didn't kill them."
"Okay, but why do they want us dead," Dad asked, his ears falling back slightly.
"That's the neat part, you have no idea," Andre said as he leaned forward and moved the green-tipped black pawn a space on the map. "Vemnka, as you get up, you notice that one of the figures is moving towards the door with slight urgency. Before you can make a move, however, the large figure stands up and doffs his cloak, revealing the tattooed grey skin of a Goliath wielding a greatsword in the executioner's style. He shouts over the tavern for everyone other than your group to leave immediately as things are about to get bloody. His three other goons, the one moving toward the door exempt, move in unison towards you. Roll initiative. It's a d20, same as all the others."
I looked toward my sister to see her tail freaking out, her bishop is the closest to the enemy party, meaning she was more likely to be targeted first. I had to protect her, not only because of our sibling relationship but also because she could heal us if we got hurt. The three of us rolled as one, I got a 10, Dad a 14, and Vemnka got a 4. Andre himself rolled a few dice before moving the chess pieces into place and writing down something on a sheet of paper. "Alright, perfect. Initiative rolled, time to start combat. First up, yellow pawn."
He moved the pawn toward Vemnka's bishop, immediately putting her in danger. "One of the vagabonds rushes you, Vemnka, and you see the flash of Tabaxi claws as they raise their hand to strike at you." Andre's dice rolled, clattering to a halt inside the pad on his end, obscuring the results. "Does a 14 hit?"
"How do I check that," she asked, her tail going even crazier. Though, I couldn't tell if it was excitement or panic.
"AC," Andre responded flatly, "Armor Class."
"Right, yep." She looked down at her paper and flicked he ears 'no' then shook her head.
"The Tabaxi's claws swipe right above your head and miss by a hair. You can even feel the air move past you as you flinch backward. Next, the Goliath moves toward you, hefting his greatsword. Kimmich, if looks could kill, you'd be halfway to Valhalla by now. He glares at you with a mighty fire in his eyes. It's hard to tell, but you think he might have it out for you. He takes a swing with his sword and..." Andre rolled and looked back up at the table, his eyes focusing rather intensely on the black king representing the Goliath. "Meh, Nat 1. He swings and you dodge, causing his swing to miss wildly and land on the Tabaxi nearby. She takes," he rolls, "A sizable chunk of damage as blood flows from her lower abdomen."
"Wouldn't she be writhing in pain right now," Dad asked, pointing to the yellow-topped pawn.
"In real life? Yes. Here? I control the game, and while she is certainly hurt, she still has enough will to fight. Money is a powerful incentive for some people, especially bandits and vagabonds. Next, Sevkan, you notice the flash of steel as a dehooded human rushes you with a shortsword in hand. He has a keen eye and sharp nose, but your reflexes are faster as you dodge his swipe. He stumbles a bit, but recovers before you have a chance to harm him." Andre looks at Dad, who doesn't even seem to register the human's gaze as he looks over his sheet. "Kimmich, it's your turn. You can attack, retreat, use a spell-"
"Divine smite the Goliath, I'll use Divine Smite on the Goliath."
Andre lets out a chuckling laugh, "Now we're talkin'. Let's do this. Roll for attack."
Dad rolled, and I watched as the dice skipped across the table and finally landed on 11. "Plus five, so 16."
"Very good, that is a successful hit. Please roll both damage and the Divine Smite's 2d8."
Dad rolled his d8 three separate times, coalescing in a massive 18 damage, a 7, an 8, and a 3. "18 damage total against the Goliath."
Andre did a weird whistle as he marked down the information on what I could only assume was the stat sheet for the enemies. "18 against big guy. Sevkan, your turn. D-"
"Actually," Dad interrupted, "it says here that I have an extra action and a bonus action."
"Oh."
"So I'm going to attack him again."
"Okay."
Dad rolled another d8 which landed 6 side up. "Another six damage and I end my turn."
"Thank you, finally. Sevkan, go, please. Attack or... Well, all you can do is attack." Andre leaned back in his chair, stare planted squarely on me. I looked down at my sheet for any actions I had. I had a normal and bonus action, and that was it. I looked at the section marked features and traits and noticed that I could do three actions with action surge. "Alright, I'll attack three times. Twice with my halberd using action surge and once with that dagger, you forgot to give everyone that we all had the option to take." I glared right back at him.
"Yes, I didn't give you all the tools you could have had because it would have just wasted more time. But fine, if you want to use it, fine. It's a d6 slashing damage."
I rolled the 2d10 for damage. One landed on 8 while the other landed on 9. My d6 lands true on a 4. "21 damage to the beige-tipped pawn. That's the human, right?"
"Yep," Andre nodded as he wrote down the damage. "You take two swipes at the human with your halberd, both connect with both his arms and torso, slowing him considerably. It's only when he remains standing that you pull your dagger from its sheath and plunge it into his chest. You miss his heart by millimeters, but it does the job as he collapses in a pool of blood. Congrats, first knockout of the game."
I shudder at Andre's description of my character, who might as well be interchangeable with a Krakotl, killing a man. A human, for that matter. I look over to see Dad glaring daggers at Andre and Vemnka staring at me worriedly. I wave her off with my tail and focus back on Andre.
"Retribution is in store for you, though, as an Elf leaps over a table with two daggers drawn, ready to avenge her slain comrade. She..." Andre rolls and whoops as he punches a fist into the air. "She comes down with blinding speed and rakes her metal blades across your chest," He rolls again and lets out a slightly disappointed 'oh' before continuing. "You take a total of 8 damage from the Elf's daggers."
Andre, once again, leans forward, this time to remove the beige-tipped pawn from the table and replace it with a red cross, as well as move the green tipped toward where all the white pawns were. I assumed the gap in the markings must have been a door, as Andre had moved all the white pawns out of it when combat started. The green pawn must be escaping or blocking ours. Either way, we have to deal with the three remaining in front of us before we can handle that one.
"I see gears turning, always a good sign, but let's continue. Vemnka your combat turn. Make it count. You can use your bonus action to heal or attack with your mace, it doesn't matter as long as you do a different action when using it."
Vemnka looks over at me, then to the board with a contemplative look. "I'd like to use my first action to bless the two of them, then I'd like to use my bonus action to bonk the -what did you call it?"
"A Tabaxi."
"Yeah, that, I want to bonk that." Her tail swayed with contentment as she rolled her damage dice. It rolled into the batch of white pawns before landing on 6.
"Ouph, 'fraid that's not gonna be enough to hit anyone, but, Kimmich, Sevkan, both of you can now roll a d4 to accompany your attack roll." He flicked his d4 into the air but somehow missed it as it fell. It clattered onto the table and got flung into the living room as Andre tried to grab it. "Fuck, alright, hold on. Damned carpet's gonna be the death of me."
He went looking for the die, leaving us Venlil staring at the table before us.
"So what do you think," I asked abruptly.
"I don't know," Dad responded, his tone careful but gruff. "It's very clearly predatory. I mean, we wake up in a tavern after a night of drinking so hard our heads feel like they're about to explode and once the hangover clears we've got a band of roughnecks out for blood from the get-go." He squinted at the chess pieces representing our characters, they were all next to each other. "And I can't even really argue that we should stop because I'm fine with what's being depicted. Even if his description of you... knocking out that human was a bit over the top, I think that's the point."
"I agree," Vemnka spoke up, "The whole game is very fantastical, not meant to be compared to real life. I mean, sure, the concept of bounty hunters is a real thing, but I don't think there are humans as tall as that Goliath walking around. Or whatever a Tabaxi is."
"Fantastical and weird. If those don't describe humanity, I don't know what does," I said with a bemused flick of my tail.
"How about tired of hearing you talk about me behind my back," Andre's voice shouted from behind the couch, where he was scrounging for the lost die. Finally, he seemed to have found it, poking his head out from the backrest and looking over at us. "I'm joking of course, I don't mind at all. Unless you're insulting my taste in music, then we'll have a problem."
"I-I mean it's just-"
"Not for everyone, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway," Andre stood up, holding the d4 in his hand. "Lets continue. Tabaxi time." He took his seat and leaned forward to adjust the white pawns before rolling the hit dice. "Bruh. Another Nat 1. And here I was imagining the Goliath and Tabaxi to be the leaders of the group. Whatever. The Tabaxi attempts another swipe at you, or so it appears because she ends up cat-scratching the arm of the Goliath next to her. That's five damage, and it moves to the Goliath who is slightly pissed at everyone except for the Elf, who's, y'know, actually put in some work. The Goliath makes a wide swing, hoping to cut you all down in one fell swoop." He rolls the d20 three more times, once with a 'whoop' of success, another with a 'aww' of failure, and a final with a 'oh come the fuck on.' I could only assume it was a horrible failure. Andre's sigh fills the room. "Alright, Kimmich, you take 18 damage, he crit succeeded. Sevkan, you take no damage, and instead duck low as the swipe passes over you. Vemnka, you feel the blade move over you, but it does not connect due to your short stature. No, instead, he once again hits the fucking Tabaxi with his swing because he crit failed. Again. And because the human is no longer available to fight, it's now your turn Kimmich."
"I would like to smite again."
"Oh fuck, right you get two 1st level spell slots." Andre almost sounded annoyed when it was brought up, but relented nonetheless. "Take the hit dice."
Dad rolled, and it landed on 14. He rolled the d4 for the blessing Vemnka gave us. It landed on a 3. "Plus the five-"
"Yeah, yeah, it hits. Roll me damage."
"I'm sensing some hostilities from you," Dad said smugly.
"I'm starting to understand why my DMs hated being DMs, that's all. Please, fuck up that Goliath." And so he did, rolling a 15 in total. "You swing one of your longswords upward and cleave the Goliath's jaw in two, but he does not die. A mere flesh wound such as that would do little to dampen the giant-kin's will. No, what killed him was the bright light that engulfed his head after the strike landed. His face was the first to go as he tried to breathe through the holy flames surrounding him. His screams ended abruptly as his larynx melted away, leaving only writhing agony. He died a pitiable death in all fairness, as any sinner does. The second knockout of the game goes to Kimmich. Yay."
Again, the feeling of discomfort appeared as Andre described in unnecessary detail the visual of... someone burning alive. Oh stars, he planned that out, didn't he?
"Let's move on. Sev, your turn. First, lemme see you all roll perception again."
I rolled a 10 while both Dad and Vemnka rolled 16s. Adding modifiers made their 16s into 19s. "Alright. Again, Vemnka and Kimmich only, you see the figure who'd been moving toward the door at the beginning of the fight, now make a break for it as the Goliath collapses into a burnt-out husk. His hood is removed by the movement revealing it to be a green-scaled Dragonborn." Andre moves the Dragonborn's piece next to the door and through it, stopping it just within our sightlines. "He has a chance to escape, will you let him?" He looked at us expectantly.
I turned to Dad to see him eyeing the piece like a fresh firefruit. "Dad, no. If he leaves then that leaves the Elf and the Tub- Taba- Tabasi, whatever it's called. We can end this soon." Vemnka put her tail on his shoulder in an attempt to get his attention. He flinches at the touch and lowers his raised fur.
"Yes, yeah. Let him go," he says hoarsely.
"Alright, letting the Dragonborn go. Now it's Sev's turn. Go ahead and do something about his pesky elf." Andre moves the Elf's pawn a bit to put it back on the right square.
I shrug, attempting to fight off the conflicting feelings. On one paw, it's a game and no one is going to get hurt by me doing these things. But on the other, if I do this willingly does that make me any better than someone who would kill in real life?
Andre's voice snapped me out of my stupor. "Don't overthink it. It's a game, and this situation is self-defence. Kimmich is the only person here who's killed someone so far. The human will probably live in prison and the Dragonborn might find new meaning in life. It's not like any of this properly reflects the real world anyway. Just focus on the game, nothing more, nothing less."
I shook my body to rid myself of those thoughts and rolled my d20 and d4 from the blessing. "18 to hit."
"And hit it does. Halberd is a go!"
With another roll, it lands on a zero. "Got a 0?"
"Oh, yeah, the model I imposed the numbers on only uses one character for each side, but that's a 10. Good roll. Elf takes 10 damage and doesn't like you right now. I'm super tired of talking, so I'll just roll the hit dice. She attacks you for 19. Your AC is 19. Meets it beats it, that's a hit. Rolling damage, she lands a solid blow of 9 damage for her twin daggers. Now both you and Kimmich should have 3 health. Vem, your turn."
"Hit the tab?"
"Hit the tab."
"Hitting tab." Vemnka rolled her d20 and it landed on a 19. "19 plus whatever, I already know it hits."
"That it does," Andre responded. With a flick of his wrist, he knocks over the Tabaxi's pawn and places a cross where it was, he does the same with the Goliath's king. "Wait, why did you do that? I hadn't rolled damage."
"The Tabaxi had one health, there's no feasible way you do zero damage when rolling a dice with no zero on it. Anyway, let's wrap this up, it feels like we've been at this forever. Kimmich, your turn."
Dad sighed a deep whistling sigh. "I'll just roll to attack the Elf." He rolled his two dice, one landed on a 12 and the other landed on a 7, plus the 5 to his hits. "17 and 12. Rolling damage for that 17."
"Roll for both, the Elf's AC isn't that high."
"Really," I asked, bewildered.
"Really. The Goliath had the most AC at 16, but meets it beats it and Kimmich met it in the first round." The clack of dice interrupted him as Dad rolled his two damage die. Andre leaned forward to announce the numbers. "A total of 13. Congratulations, the three of you have just won a skewed encounter of DnD."
"Skewed encounter?"
"The Goliath had 40 health while everyone other than the Tabaxi had 20. The Tabaxi had 17. The Goliath had an AC of 16 while the rest had between 12 and 14. At least one of you should have died. I was betting on Kimmich because I had the Goliath go after him, but the nat 1s kinda stopped that from happening." Andre shook his prosthetic hands and brought them up to his chin. "Anyway, I'm dead tired. Never want to do that again, ever."
"I can't say I'm in the same cruiser as you, I found it quite fun, even with the gruesome descriptions," I said, probably unconvincingly. I did have fun, but it was a lot to take in all at once.
"I had fun too. Just, if we do do this again, try to tone back the predatory stuff. The fighting was fine, but the description was a bit... spot on I think." Vemnka's tail curled a bit as she probably imagined the images Andre described in her head.
Dad only gave a small 'hmph' as he scooted off his chair and went toward our rooms.
"Well," Andre started, "that's about what I expected from a bunch of scared space sheep."
I let out a whistle as Vemnka gently lowered herself to the ground, marched up to Andre, and bopped him on the thigh with all her might.
===================END=TRANSCRIPTION===================

Listening to the most recent episode of the podcast (“Prism Break”) it occurred to me that the set up of this episode - being each character having to effectively justify themselves to a higher being - would have been a perfect chance to give a final pay off to Seal Gaiman.
While I appreciate the series has finished and there is merit in just letting something be what it is, I did find it jarring that Egbert as a -1 wisdom character came out with a philosophical tedtalk on the inherentness of good and evil. I wonder if it might have been more appropriate, and a conclusion for the longest running (?) and certainly most referred back to gag, had his response been along the lines of “I’m not very bright this sort of thing is not my speciality, but I am well meaning and generally good - but there is someone educated and eloquent who has been with me a very long time. I’d like the seal to speak for me, as a character witness”
At this point it would likely have needed a bit of buy in from Johnny to either let Mike speak for the seal, or to be the old museum curator as an NPC, but the seal could’ve testified to Egbert’s goodness and growth. It would’ve also finally wrapped up whether seal gaiman actually wants to be a seal or not - he could’ve started out wanting to return to being a man, but has ultimately decided he prefers his life as a seal, and has come to enjoy being with Egbert/see him as a friend.
Don’t get me wrong, what we got was great - Andy and Jane’s contributions especially - but this did feel like both a slightly off character moment, and a missed opportunity.

Welcome back to Weekly One Take, the weekly improv thread with a focus on constructive feedback.
Thank you to everyone who posted takes or gave feedback last week! Great to see all the fantastic submissions and comments.
The Concept
There are two ways you can participate in this thread, and they are not mutually exclusive!
​

1. Record a take of yourself improvising over the backing track provided. The idea is not to achieve perfection - record a real, live, raw and unedited solo. It can be a video or just a recording. Upload your take to YouTube or Soundcloud and share it in the comments. Tip: keep your take short and sweet. If you record a 10 minute take, think about chopping it down and submitting just the first few minutes.
2. Give feedback on someone else's take. We're looking for supportive, constructive comments - putting yourself out there for everyone to listen to is scary, and everyone is at a different stage in their guitar journey. Critiques are welcomed, but don't just criticise - offer suggestions on how to improve, and highlight the things you did like too.

This week’s track:
Jam Band
If you have any feedback on the concept as a whole, please let me know in the comments/DM me.
Check out previous weeks here

I went to Los Angeles in early December and flew Southwest. I remember seeing people occasionally stand in a short line, maybe 1-3 deep, waiting for the restroom at the front of the plane. There were longer lines at the rear of the plane.
I flew yesterday and was walking to the restroom at the front of the plane when this woman seated several rows in front of me got up to use the restroom. Since I was already on my way up there, I just waited off to the side of the aisle next to the restroom, not in anyone’s way. The flight attendant who spoke to me, I already thought was incredibly bad at her job - barely smiled at any passengers. She made a man who was attempting to go to the restroom to change his kid’s diaper wait in the aisle for 3 minutes so she could finish taking alcoholic drink orders. She even finished with one passenger and went to a different passenger to take their order before getting out of his way. She also made a different passenger on his way back from the restroom walk all the way back to the front of the plane so she could pass by instead of trying to make room for the passenger. I thought it was absolutely terrible customer service. She told me I can’t crowd the front of the plane and had to go back to my seat. I wasn’t crowding because I wasn’t in anyone’s way and about 10 seconds after I got back to my seat the woman came out of the bathroom.
Has this been a rule on Southwest flights? As I said, I don’t fly very often, typically once or twice a year, and it’s been 6 months since my last flight. I don’t have an issue with it if it is, i just didn’t know it was. Maybe I’m just annoyed because I felt she was unprofessional most of the flight, when all the other flight attendants I had on both flights were nothing but kind and professional. I would understand them sending people back to their seats if there were people actually standing in the aisles waiting, but they typically don’t seem to have a problem with multiple people waiting in line at the back of the plane. It also doesn’t make sense that people are allowed to “crowd,” to use their word, the area of the plane where 3 flight attendants are working but it’s not allowed to stand where there’s only 1 flight attendant working.
I’m just genuinely curious, I’d never been told that before on a flight. It didn’t make sense to me. I would’ve actually been in the way if I’d gone to the back of the plane, but I wasn’t blocking the aisle at the front of the plane. I was also fed up because I’d been awake since 4:15 and had my first flight and my second flight both delayed, so I really was not in the mood for the way she spoke to me. I don’t care what instruction is given to me, but I care a lot about how I’m spoken to. She straight up said “go back to your seat, no crowding.” If she had said “I’m sorry sir, we ask that passengers don’t wait at the front of the plane for the restroom, would you mind going back to your seat?” I would’ve had no issue with it. Same message, entirely different tone. I’ve been in customer service, including management at Chick-fil-A, for 10 years so I tend to be pretty judgmental when it comes to what I perceive to be subpar customer service.
Not at all trying to be the asshole here, just a tired ass passenger asking a question. I felt it was especially strange because I was already walking to the restroom when the other passenger got up and went in before me. I don’t feel like I should have to walk back to my seat and risk that happening again on my way back to the restroom. Same thing for the guy trying to change his kid’s diaper, what if you had kept this man waiting and someone in a seat ahead had gotten up to use the restroom. Are you gonna make the guy you made wait go back to his seat because you wouldn’t move out of his way? That’s not fair.
Again I’m fine with the rule if it is a rule, I didn’t know it was. Maybe I’m just irritated with the way I felt she carried herself and didn’t seem to provide a positive experience for anyone on the plane.

So my partner (M) and I (F) got a couples massage 2 days ago. I’m really unsure of what to do and if this is the wrong subreddit my apologies. I’ve tried searching Reddit for any similar situations but I couldn’t find any so I’m just going to make my own post. Sorry this is gonna be a long one.
The place had great reviews on all platforms. We booked the couples massage that cost $190 for both of us. The first red flag was the massage place was situated in a rented office building. Definitely not a spa at all. We should’ve left at that point but decided to trust the good reviews and trust the process. They seemed very nice and professional. There was a male and female therapist. We assumed the male would be working on my male partner and the female would be working on me (F) as they did not ask us what we would be most comfortable with. The only thing they asked us is medium or strong pressure and we said medium.
Onto the massage. They told us to undress and lay face down on the tables, so we did not know who was massaging us. The massage was was painful. My partner has a very high pain tolerance and even he said it hurt. They were digging into our spines with their elbows. I was actually worried I was going to get a spine injury. The entire time it felt like we were getting pinched and elbowed. They would go over the same spots for 5+ minutes to the point of it just straight up hurting. At one point i genuinely questioned if they knew what they were doing. I will admit we should have spoken up. But personally i have anxiety when it comes to speaking up and my partner thought I was enjoying the massage so he did not say anything.
When the second half of the massage came around and I flip over, I see the man working on me. I felt frozen and didn’t even know what to do. Uncomfortable is truly an understatement. This MAN had been running his hands all over my body, at one point when I was face down he even tucked the sheet into my underwear and was massaging my butt. I truly felt disgusted. I look over and the female therapist is literally WALKING on my partner. Finally it’s over and we pay. I swear the man was looking and smirking at me, but I just thought my discomfort was making me read into it. Maybe it was just a friendly smile. Idk. We tried to shake it off and chalk it up to just be a bad massage therapist match or something, because no way 100+ people had amazing experiences and we did not.
The next morning my spine felt sore reminding me of the awful experience we had. So I wrote reviews on yelp and Google. Shortly after I posted them they reached out very kindly and apologized that it wasn’t up to par and offered a partial refund. I thought oh that’s nice. And then they said they will partially refund us $40 if we take down our reviews. That’s when everything made sense. They pay people to take down bad reviews. I looked closer and the handful of 1 star reviews said the same exact thing we experienced. One couple was lucky enough to get out before it really even begun.
This is when their messages began to get more hostile. They tried to make everything our fault. They claimed half way through the massage they asked my partner (not me) if it’s ok that the man is working on me and he supposedly didn’t answer because he was “sleeping”. He was not sleeping because there is no way anyone could sleep through that excuse of a massage. Basically just excuses. I really hated that they weren’t taking accountability and were trying to blame us for their awful service. Again they only asked us one question and that was medium or strong pressure. They became less apologetic and more hostile, pointing fingers at us.
We were going to take the $40 and just repost the review but we weren’t sure if that violates any terms of use and didn’t want to get banned from any platform. So we just decided to leave the reviews up. After expressing this, they threatened to report our conversation to google and yelp. We were confused because if anything they would expose themselves for trying to coerce us into removing our bad review. So now we don’t know what to do. I’ve looked all over to try and figure out how to report these people. They claim they are licensed but I don’t think they are. Everything about this massage and this business makes me feel so icky and if I can save just one person from feeling the way I do as a result of going to them, I want to do it. Our reviews only brought them down to a 4.7 rating. I need to do more. I fully plan on seeing this through. If I’m being honest I would love to get them shut down, but I don’t know if I can single handedly do that. Please help!

A homeless teenager reaches out to the Shil’vati on first day of the invasion of Earth.
Credit to: who has beta read just about every chapter, and the only reason it's readable half the time
u/bluefishcake for writing the original SSB story.
Pizzaulostin who has been beta reading since the beginning.
Credit to u/HollowShel for getting me started with this!
This story is based in the SSB universe.
Previous
First
Chapter 33:

Reqellia:

It was the darkest part of the night, and yet I could hear the energetic commotion of Ruhal blearily heating up food for a famished human along with the clinks of dishes and silverware.
“One more day.” I felt glued to the bench as I stared back into the silver mask I hadn’t worn for almost [twenty-five years] prior, and had hoped never to put on again. I cursed my old girlish wishes when I first joined up, wanting to be a war hero, and then a mother afterwards. To grow old and see my own child in uniform. I had even wanted a son since I was already demanding the impossible.
I never believed in the gods, but now I’m sure that I’ve tempted Niosa to grant my wishes, but only after I made my peace with them that they would never come true.
Klein bounced around the suite’s kitchen, eating enough for two Shil women and already wearing his armor’s underlayment. The chair creaked a bit as he sat, his own horror-show mask on the dining table next to him staring back at him unblinking.
And It was a horror show.
He’d wake up cheerful and happy, and I’d watch over the day as every bit of his energy was drained out of him. The daily exercise routine of a morning run and gym day in a month being performed in a few short hours. Every time Klein finished a trail faster, or performed a more grueling task, the trainers would make him do even more as his contract offers rose another level.
I didn’t blame the instructors, it was their job to challenge each applicant, but Klein blew through all their expectations, so they just kept piling more onto him. Many of those same instructors had asked me if they were pushing him too far, but all I could do was shrug. Even I didn't even know where his potential ended.
I blinked and looked up. He was in his full armor now, with only the mask off.
“Ready to go?”
I nodded and stood up, quickly heading over to Ruhal, who in turn looked at me with sleep deprived eyes. Worn out as I was, he was worse, playing subject matter expert on all things human around a bunch of high ranking officers desperate for information not tainted by censorship.
“Stay safe out there,” he politely ordered as he kissed me.
I kissed him back and held his hand. “You too.”
Sighing,I left to let him rest, popped my back, and donned my own mask.
As Klein paced the door, I begged for safety. “One more day, please let everything be okay after today.”
I shouldn’t have tempted Niosa again.

Itaro:

I quietly padded out of the children’s den to a chorus of snoring from my siblings. The well carpeted securely fastened to wooden floors muffled my footsteps. I opened the large storm shutters and then pulled open the sliding glass door to the patio. I couldn’t sleep anymore, excitedly bouncing from one foot to another.
Klein and Reqellia were coming home tonight! Reqellia had sent me her contract offers that came from a dozen different Imperial departments and bureaus. Dad already agreed years ago she could move in with us, a pack sister was always welcome. Now she wouldn’t feel like a burden if she had to.
And Klein… Well, I wouldn’t be bothered by a few love-marks.
“I see that smile. Excited?” I heard my father’s deep voice like distant thunder. I turned around to his massive form only a few steps away. We both had learned to walk silently when my siblings were just pups and the discovery that they were light sleepers had been made.
I felt my ears droop just a little to see his melancholic face. He had gone out of his way the last few weeks to spend more time with just me now that I had a pack of my own. There was always a soft smile on his face, but the way his tail hung low to the floor was a dead giveaway on his mood.
I tried to cheer him up. “I am. It’s been weeks since I got to speak to Au’tes, and Klein…” I trailed off, the insinuation clear. He smirked. He had met Klein in passing, but I wasn’t bringing him home yet. Hario on the other hand had made one or two bawdy jokes at the dinner table after a second glass of her favorite liquor.
First time Klein spends the night, you might want to check up on Itaro, make sure she didn’t keel over from exhaustion.
“At this rate I’m going to have to teach you sword fighting to beat back other male suitors from poaching you for their own packs!” My father joked. Stepping off the patio landing, he hit the ground noiselessly, bending his legs to absorb the shock.

After letting out a quiet grunt indicative of an age he tried to keep hidden, he turned around and looked back up at me. “Want to come with me for a walk?”
I jumped down and followed him into our little patch of forest my mother’s terraforming job paid for. The early morning was already warm without a cooling vest, but not intolerable. The chirping of birds and the soft whistle of wind tinged with just a hint of salt made everything feel fresh.
It was like when I came home from school and my father would stop construction for the day. We’d explore the forest, play on the beach, go into town for groceries.
Except now my father didn’t run and have me chase him. He carefully inspected the trees for pests, and our conversation was far more practical than whimsical. “Your mother’s coming home next month. Can you write her a message before she meets Klein, just so she has a better idea of your pack?”
I nodded. “Of course. How long is she going to be home this time?”.
Her terraforming jobs always lasted months, if not years. I never faulted her for the huntress life, but it made connecting with her difficult. She was more a guest of honor than a mother to the household, always bringing a fatted Sou’ta carcass home as a present, but rarely cleaned dishes, or the house.
Or really any chore…
He shrugged before crouching next to a felled tree, trimming away small branches for kindling with a tiny hatchet he hand pulled from his tool pouch. “Might be a good long while this time. The last message I got said her department only had small projects and a few hazard jobs on the periphery. Besides, we might need an extra set of hands more than the money now.”
I scoffed. “Her, a house mother!? No offense, but mom is a terrible cook, and a worse caretaker. Remember the time she nearly burned down our kitchen boiling water?”
He laughed with me as he pocketed the hatchet. Standing up with two sticks, and then threw me one. I caught it as he swung his own stick in my general area. “Defend yourself! I did say I needed to teach you sword fighting. How else are you going to fight off possessive men when they realize what a catch you are?”
He didn’t teach anything but how to rough house on a lazy Shel morning.
We played and swung the flimsy branches until I accidentally hit him square in the chest. The branch, already crumbly and dry, disintegrated on impact. It didn’t stop him from dramatically acting out a death scene. Falling to his knees in an overly theatrical fashion. “Oh, woe is me! Cut down by my own daughter in cold blood!”
I let him pretend to be on stage for a few moments longer before standing over him to offer a hand. He took it, and then yanked me down to the grassy patch, holding me for a long, quiet minute. “I’m going to miss you.”
For the first time I noticed the stray white hairs around his muzzle, I knew what he meant, but I tried to play it off. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He just held me for a silent heartbeat longer, then let go and stood up.
He proclaimed cheerfully to mask his wet eyes. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up. You can’t look like a pup out of a mud bath for your victorious pack! I even scheduled a visit at Tulo’s for a haircut. Ruhal’s treat.”
My mind played with potential futures as we headed home. Between the three of us, we could write our own life together. Maybe I could even stay close to home.
I looked up to the rising light.
“One more day!”

Klein :

The mountains of gear and equipment around us were illuminated by harsh flood lights. We stood in formation with each person, regardless of species, showing physical signs of exhaustion. Drooping shoulders and bent knees, unfocused and slow eye movement.
Instructor Li’kele was wearing full battle rattle today, complete with a compact lasrifle holstered to her leg.
“Good morning applicants! It’s the last day of selection! Your assignment will be to support your sisters in the combat section in the wargames! You see all this critical equipment? Our first assignment will be to load all of it on auto-turoxes and hover-wagons. Unfortunately we don’t have enough capacity , some of you will need to carry gear on your person as we make the [ten mile] trek into the forest. Applicants 849, 734, 236 and 953 step up after we finish loading! You are our extra carriers.”
I knew I was going to be picked. It was easy to not let it bother me though. Reqellia had explained that the instructors were just trying to push us to our limits, and every extra duty and handicap meant a better contract with a brighter future.
Still, after hefting thousands of [pounds/kilos] of stuff onto the squat legged drone’s cargo cages and the little platforms that would float once powered, dread formed in the pit of my stomach as an entire counter-battery system was cinched onto my person. I trudged as we formed up for our road march.
The combat selection team rolled in as we took positions, already covered in mud from what I could guess was their own morning fun, their las-rifles at the low ready. Their own instructor, a severe looking Hyena-like Kortika woman with fur that trimmed short and smooth. She yelled out orders to the gaggle of applicants under her command. “Form on either side of the supply train and defend them at all costs! If they get shot because you weren’t doing your job, then it’s your ass that will be carrying the extra gear!”
We marched out of the base, clinking and clunking as we traveled uphill. The weight wasn’t too bad now that it was evenly distributed on my body, but it would be hell taking it off and putting it back on anytime we stopped.
“Isn’t that the new shock trooper ? What’s he doing with the non-combat selection?” I heard one of the combat applicants say idly. It was easy to pick up conversation in the nearly silent dawn as we marched on a dirt path extending across an expanse of grassland in the reddening sky. It was really pretty, watching the light play on the green forested hills in the distance.
Their Instructor sidled up to the commenting girl silently, ears swiveled back in anger. She grabbed her shoulder, growling low. “Cut the chatter, girl. ”
Silence followed for the next hour in the pre-dawn light.
We got the first taste of the wargames when red beams bolted over our heads and dropped one of our auto-turoxes. “Everyone get down!” yelled one of our instructors, and I threw myself on the path.
With all the weight on me, the impact on the ground hurt . I looked up and saw red beams blink in and out over me. Their flashes brought back memories.
The red glow through convenience store windows . An alien invasion.
I blinked furiously and turned my head to see what was going on with the combat teams on the sides of the road. They had already taken out two of the ‘raiders’ who stood up, hands in the air as they walked away. Another minute clicked by before a squad decided to double check the tall grass and found a third raider hiding. All had the insignia of the instruction cadre commandos.
“Everyone, up !” Instructor Lik’ele belted out in a two-word shout, and I had to push up off the ground, creaking under the weight. My arms burned as I got to my knees, then raised a hand and called out, “assistance!” One of the unnumbered girls gave me a hand to steady myself, and I rocked a bit trying to stand.
“Thank you,” I said, but between the voice distorter and my mask, the girl backed away as soon as I was up, fear registered in her eyes.
[At the bus stop, a classmate backed away from me. scared of me for some reason mumbling ‘you're bleeding’. Warmth on my upper lip, a coppery taste.]

I shook my head, trying to banish the weird memory surfacing, I hadn’t had a nosebleed since I left Earth. I looked back up, but the girl had already gotten back in formation and we started moving again.
It wasn’t quite noon when we stopped for lunch. I got help removing my kit, and stretched to work out the kinks. Reqellia stood next to me as I sat down on the hard packed surface. I took off my gloves, and jammed them under my chest holster.
I was technically ‘armed’ right now. We had gotten the thirty-minute las-pistol training yesterday on how to safely handle them, and then ran through a quick range. They were nothing more than glorified laser pointers though. They could lock up a suit set to respond to the laser signal, but they wouldn’t so much as redden skin otherwise.
Reqellia had let me in on their real purpose, to see if we could be trusted with a dangerous object and not play with it.
Eating was a pain, I had to lift my mask halfway up and eat blind. The meal pack was cold, but eh, it was food. Goddess, I was hungry.
“How are you holding up?” Reqellia asked, the silver mask obscuring any expression, and the voice distorter deadening any intonation, but by the angle of the head tilt, I could guess the question was more concern than curiosity.
“It’s not too heavy, but it’s awkward trying to move around,” I admitted as I put my mask back in place and pulled out my omni-pad. I tried not to boggle at the contract offers I was getting. It was a straight up bidding war, including furnished houses, years of leave after an initial stint, even minor titles.
Ruhal had helped me, even filled out the forms himself with less than a day for submission. He had also messaged me about the fine print of many of these absurd offers. The watch word was ‘Relocation’.
“They will send you back to Earth. Right now, you are the only human any department can recruit who might know an obscure piece of human signage or culture that got skipped during their culture crash courses, has the physical ability to keep up during an operation, and they can implicitly trust it is loyal to the Imperium.”
I scrolled past the too-good-to-be true proposals and to the ones without relocation, not ridiculously overpaying, but still plenty. Maybe I would follow Ka’tel into ICAD, or…
“We need to get moving!” Li’kele barked and I signaled for help again. This time Au’tes was ordered to help me with my gear. Now seeing her up close, she was definitely worse for wear. She smiled, but it was the kind of tired smile that had almost no energy in it. Her usual well controlled movements were slurred by exhaustion, and she leaned on me after buckling the packs on my shoulders, her own extra gear was a large backpack of energy cells.
“Damn, girl runs away in fear from combat selection after spending years in the militia and now plays valet. Bet whatever is underneath that suit is more would eat her alive if unmuzzled,” I overheard one of the combat applicants snicker. Au’tes winced, just a bit, at the barb from her former youth militia group.
“Lift your visor.” I said. It was dumb, it was really dumb, but I wanted to give her at least a reminder of what she had that they didn’t. Au’tes had a flicker of confusion, but flipped up the visor on her suit’s helmet.
I lifted my mask just enough to kiss her. It was honestly a gross kiss and wished I could have brushed my teeth beforehand. But when I dropped my mask down there was the manic Au’tes again, full of energy and gusto. I looked past her to the shocked combat applicants. I put my finger to roughly where my mouth was and whispered in my distorted voice, “No one will believe you.”
Au’tes brought her visor down and squeezed my hand for a second longer before leaning in close “Thank you for letting me know you still exist under there.

Reqellia:

The dirt trail up the hill was easy enough for my legs. I stayed in the same general area as Klein, but with my augments I already had his pinpoint location and medical data, I could even access his helmet camera. I didn’t want to get in his way while the instructors gave him snap secondary tasks to complete on our journey up to the outpost location.
I kept myself entertained by listening in on the comms chatter that I could pick up on the wargames going on about us at large. I had enjoyed playing the no-holds-barred opposing force when I was a commando on rotation here.
Right now there was a particularly fun little drama going on up north of our location. A mechanized assault unit tasked with taking out an anti-orbital battery got one of their exos stuck in mud because of a poor assessment of the ground composition. The armored crane they had first ordered to pull it out was now also stuck.
The Lieutenant was trying to get an exception to the wargame rules to bring a drop ship in to pull them both out, but the higher-ups told her to figure it out. The whole point of these wargames was to discover how things could go wrong. The Lieutenant tried to pull title to overrule them, only to get a nasty conversation from her commander.
A small beep from my monitoring systems told me Klein’s heart rate had slowed and I looked up to see the front of the supply train had been ordered to halt. Up ahead was the “fort,” a clearing on top of the hill with nothing but some half buried holes.
The Kortika woman got to the front of the formation and gave her orders. “Listen up! Combat selection is going to set up a perimeter while the Auxiliary builds us a structure safe enough to hold during an assault. All weapons are going ‘live’, but for those in the non-combat teams I will again warn you to only use them in self-defense. If you wanted to shoot people for a living you should have signed up for it.”
I tried not to flinch as I watched Klein and his compatriots start to offload all the gear they had packed this morning and attempt their best effort at setting it up with basic instructions from Li’kele and the manuals that came with the equipment. Just another test to see how the applicants would handle the technical situation.
At this point they were at their limit, physically and mentally exhausted as they tried to bolt frames together, wrestle antennas, install expandable barriers, and put together the foundations of a forward operating base.
Klein had all but given up on the counter battery system he schlepped here and handed that responsibility off to a Senthe Boy while speaking a rough northern dialect of Satenthia. The boy was more than happy to talk to someone who knew even a few words of his native tongue.
I opened a small window on my HUD and watched with amusement as the early contract offers rose and fell. Klein’s offer from naval engineering, already paltry compared to other, more suitable jobs, dropped to barely above standard. Intelligence and Law branches, however, rocketed upwards again.
I could almost hear the recruiter’s comments as the numbers and terms changed. Does not have familiarity with Shil military equipment. Comfortable with speaking multiple languages. Works well with multiple species.
I watched them work. Klein, in usual Klein fashion, pushed himself. After getting the counter battery laser hooked up, he volunteered for other physically demanding tasks. Pile driving in the foundations that hold the columns of the structure. The rhythmic thump gave me ghost aches when I had done the same thing out in the periphery while getting pot shotted by roaches.
I shook my head. It was going to be another rough night for him by the way he was bunching up his shoulders as he braced the handheld pile driver. Thankfully, tomorrow he’d be home and with an appointment with Cee who might force him on bed rest for the next month.
I started to chuckle at the thought of how protective Itaro was going to get after taking one look at Klein. I came back from deployment once missing three fingers from a plasma grenade and Bahtet waited on me and foot, wouldn’t so much as let me handle a kitchen knife until they were replaced later that month.
A few stray red beams were thrown our way, even a flash bang or two from the commandos tasked with harassing us came and went. As the ramparts of the temporary base were finished, I took up station on the second level to oversee the whole complex. Klien was working with a combat team, helping them put a second defense line in. They had driven stakes into the ground to support parallel knee-high thermocast plates with an arms-length gap between them, which Klein was filling in with dirt to act as a wall and platform for the heavy, crew served lasgun.
I was thankful there would be a shuttle to pick us up soon. I played the opposing force for Selection a few times, and I still remembered the script. Right now we were in a lull that would last until dusk, then at least three full commando teams would assault the base. The battle would be made as realistic and demanding as possible with creeping dark to add to the complexity.
The Selection team would always be wiped out, but it was how they performed against overwhelming odds that would shift the contract offers that last bit before everything was locked in place.
I heard the whirr of a counter battery system swiveling around, and then the crackle of it firing. I turned to see what it was aiming for but all I saw was a cloud of smoke . Then a fast moving object came through the cloud before I heard the crackle again and another exploded .
Blanketing everything in a tar-black fog .
My stomach dropped. This wasn’t the cadre commando team, and they were attacking too soon. I got on the comms with Li’kele “HALT, HALT, HALT! We need to stop the exercise!”
I got a crackle on the comms. Then Li’kele’s voice came in that terrifyingly calm voice used to keep control of a combat operation. “I can’t get a signal out, I need a report on the situation.”
Instead of trying to explain I sent her my video feed as I jumped down from the ramparts and started to sprint for Klein. I needed to get him out of here , but I hadn’t had time to prime my augments. I started the cold power cycle as I cursed myself for letting my guard down.
I was already too late . I watched as our own counter-battery laser weapons were used against us, acting as the triggers for each smoke grenade engulfing Klein’s team right in front of me, their signal dropping right out. I got a response from Li’kele that alleviated at least some of my terror. “Dammit! It’s the 171 st Raiders from the wargames, they mus-”
And then I was enveloped in darkness and static. The smoke was so thick I could only see a few paces away in all spectrums. I tried my internal radio and….
Nothing. I was alone and with nothing to guide me, and then I saw to the right of me a few weak beams of red, and then a ball of light of a simulated explosion. I let my gnawing panic subside and walked their way with a observers flag in my hand. I was practically on top of them before I saw the combat selection team that had been ‘killed’, their frowning faces and hands up as they sat there grumbling.
The Raiders appeared soon after. A four woman squad. Two Helkam, a Rakiri, and a Shil’vati hefting a large antiquated grenade launcher. I called out “Do you have a way to call a emergency stop to the battle?”
The squad leader responded. “Did someone get seriously injured? I can fire off a flare and our medic teams will be here to extract them.”
“No! This is Selection, we aren’t supposed to be part of the Wargames.” I argued, but she waved me off.
“We got orders to assault the base up here. Trust me, our commander is mighty pissed at getting tasked with a frontal assault on the youngest and toughest the Imperium has to offer, with adding insult to injury if we lose to kids. That’s why we broke out the smoke screen.”
“One of the Selection members is the first of their species. Higher ups want them monitored at all times,” I partly lied.
The gears whirred and the team lead brought her weapon up again, eyes a little wider. “ Blue Eyes is here? Shit, girls ready up and head on a swivel!”
The team reformed in a circle facing outwards, a tactic specifically meant for ambushes and roach suicide drones. I stood there, confused. “Blue eyes?”
The team lead started to move into the smoke again, but explained, her eyes darting around. “Yeah, the freaky creature in the mask, toyed with an unmanned Exo before annihilating it with a shipcutter! A close quarters combat specialist with heavy armor and a real mean streak . You’re telling me they’re loose in a forest with enough concealment to sneak up on us and tear us to shreds? Ma’am the only ones in immediate danger are us. ”

Posted in relationship advice also, but I feel that this sub attracts a more mature/goal oriented set of advice! I love my husband and he is amazing + my best friend. I am looking for proactive tips to help us communicate through this issue.
My (F31) husband (M33) and I disagree on when it is appropriate to share contact info with the opposite sex. When is it appropriate to share contact info?
As the title says, my husband and I have had a long standing issue with making boundaries around exchanging contact info with the opposite sex. I told him I was making this post to get insight from other people since he keeps saying what other men are ok/not ok with.
BACKSTORY (skip if short on time): 1. When we first got together—I mean within the first two weeks of him and I meeting—I went to a work conference and got the number of a male coworker from a different location who was grouped up with our location so we could all go out as a group for dinner that night. We chatted a bit (maybe two weeks) after the conference via text until I noticed the vibes were off and I stopped responding. This was almost seven years ago and my husband still brings this up frequently whenever a new, opposite gender scenario arises.

1. Last year I was outside and noticed my neighbor who we have lived next to for a few years but never talked to was outside. We have noticed before that they are our age but had never talked to them. I was free that day and had a wild hair up my butt so I decided to introduce myself and my husband (he wasn’t there but I told the neighbor about us both). We chatted for a bit and he showed me a project he was working on in his backyard. We talked about similar hobbies and he asked for my number so we could all get together sometime. We exchanged contact info and when I told my husband (I was all excited that I finally talked to the elusive neighbor we always saw but never interacted with) he was furious and said I was extremely disrespectful and no man would be ok with his partner giving their number to a stranger and on the reverse the male neighbor would have known that asking for a married woman’s number was disrespectful. I was baffled because I truly just was excited to finally meet the neighbor and maybe know some people in our neighborhood.

CURRENT SITUATION: I recently picked up a part time job in the outdoor industry for the summer. There was a week of intensive training with all of the new hires (12 hour grueling days of physical activity—“hell week” as they call it). Understandably, all of the trainees got close from this within the week. Being a male dominated industry, there were more men than women in the training group.
One of the men shared a similar hobby as my husband and I (let’s call it “bird watching” for anonymity). Every time it was brought up in conversation, I mentioned my husband, and even throughout the week I brought up my husband in various conversation.
At the end of the training, as we were saying our goodbyes, the bird watcher asked me for my number so him, my husband, and I could go bird watching over the summer together. Remembering that my husband asked me not to give my number to men, I instead asked him for his number and did not give him mine. That evening I came home and excitedly told my husband about meeting another bird watcher and told him that even though he asked for my number I did not give it to him but instead got his number! (I thought this was a win and I did a good job respecting his boundary). He acknowledged it but didn’t say much and the conversation moved on naturally.
The next morning, he brought up me getting the guys number and said it was disrespectful to our relationship and the boundaries he set. He brought up the two aforementioned situations above and again said no man would be ok with their partner exchanging contact info with strangers. He said he doesn’t need me to get friends for him and that I should think it is suspicious the man asked for my number and not the other women in our training group (I don’t know if he did or not) since I was closer in age to this man. I also am above average attractive (I’m not trying to be conceited I’m just trying to include the facts). My husband frequently points out that men will treat me differently because of this and i need to be aware of that (I can’t help genetics, though, and sometimes feel like I now have an extra burden on my shoulders due to being conventionally attractive)
I am extremely outgoing and my partner is not. To me, I am open to hanging out with anyone who wants to hangout! The man was fully aware this would involve my husband and I and we go bird watching almost every weekend so I figured we could just text this guy to meet up with us every now and then.
What do you think Reddit? What are some boundaries you have in your relationship about this? I don’t want to be disrespectful to my husband, but I also feel like he doesn’t trust my discretion.

TL;DR Chapter preface.
1 Team spirit and perseverance to overcome injuries and the collective effort to win
2 Carlo’s coaching what’s best for the club and not his style adapting against the opponent
3 How ancelotti built the team around the regista - Toni kroos
4 Dortmund’s run to the final and tactics
5 Real Madrid don’t play finals they win them. The unique decades long tradition that will make Madrid win the champions league.
1.
I wanted to take a moment before the final to write about our season. I have written about our previous two knockout ties against city and Bayern but now we have finally arrived to the summit of our season and the summit of a Real Madrid team which we won’t see in the same way without our maestro and conductor - Toni Kroos.
I’m sure a lot of our fans would agree that if you would had to tell me at the start of the season after losing our starting GK and 2 CBs to ACLs (unprecedented in its own regard) and lose the likes of Vini, Tchou and Camavinga for long stretches that we would win the league dominantly with 95 points by over performing our expected XG and reach the champions league final - I would ask you to put down the crack.
But yet here we are almost 9 months later ready to compete to win our 15th what a privilege for our fans to witness this moment. In an interview recently after eliminating Bayern, Carlo said that this was the best group of players he has ever managed. The fact that he said that having coached the likes of legends in Madrid and Milan of the past speaks volumes of the perseverance and team spirit we have shown this season. The team like he said “never complained” and worked hard to overcome all the obstacles thrown at us. We only lost once in the league against atletico and that loss opened our eyes on what we had to fix defensively when we realised we we weren’t defending well from our right side having conceded from crosses. The tweaks made whether it was getting Fede to be more of a defensive workhouse, getting Vini to play centrally, asking Jude to play the free 10 role or making rodrygo and Vini interchange from the left. These are not easy things to do and players need time to adapt but this team has done a momentous job shifting from a 4-3-3 and adapting to a diamond 4-3-1-2 or rather a 4-4-2, and playing for the needs of the team.

1. This is where I would like to talk about Ancelotti and his ability to manage based on what the club needs rather than his own personal style. The reason why Madrid are historically successful is because they don’t have a “style” they adapt and have the clutch factor to win when it matters and achieve the unprecedented.

Managers like pep are positionist and rely heavily on rehearsed plays that hinder the expression of freedom from players. Real and Carlo as of late have always been relationist allowing for a flow or mixture and adaptation. Against city we had to play a mid block in the first leg and stop their build up before they can push into our box to force them wide. In the second leg after scoring we had to play a low block for 60 mins to stop them from scoring. These are examples of a team and manager synchronised in the approach that they must do whatever to win. Carlo spoke about when they played De Zerbi’s shakhtar and not pressing them allowed them to get the ball and beat them 5-0. It our ability to adapt in the moment that allows us to overcome our opponent even if the chips are down.

1. Carlo spoke of his regret when he coached Parma and had the opportunity to sign baggio who was a 10 and one on the best players in the world then, but Carlo refused to sign him because he was adamant to play with 2 strikers. When he coached juventus he realised the importance of incorporating a certain Zinedine Zidane as the central figure of the team.

Those who remember his Milan team played a similar diamond with CFs and a roaming cam in the likes of Kaka who was the main man scoring goals at a ridiculous rate, very similar to Jude this season a lot of people would say that he was the focal point of that team but in reality it was the “regista” in Pirlo who conducted that Milan team and everything was built around how Pirlo dictated the play. And that is why I would like to highlight that our team is built around the irreplaceable Toni Kroos, our regista who conducts and orchestrates the play. It is why we have been successful not just with the system this year but the past decade. Kroos is a unicorn who is capable of escaping pressure and finding the right passes without being over indulgent to a fault like Barca or pep. Kroos’ impact in the final will be monumental and it is only fitting for a legend like him to bow out with a champions league trophy.

1. I think we can all agree that when you look at our side of the bracket in our run of the champions league, every team in our bracket would mop the floor with the teams in dortmund’s side of the bracket. I’m not saying Dortmund don’t deserve to be in the final they have earned to be there playing a defensive approach that sees the entire team defend when they need to. They have fast paced dribblers in sancho and adeyemi and a physical box presence in fullcrug. Their centre backs rank the highest in long ball passes in Europe and they play in quick transitions like a German team. They’ve shown resilience to overcome their opponents but let’s not forget they did top the group of death and that is no coincidence. Upon watching their games I think the one that impressed me the most was their win against atletico at home. They have qualities to cause us problem so we should be vary of how we approach them.

What troubled us against leipzig was when they played to clog us centrally and cause us issues in turnovers. Against Bayern in the first leg we didn’t acclimatise to the width their wingers found to score. My only worry remains our aerial and set pieces defence with the likes of a physical target man like fullcrug supplied by pace around him we need to be careful but I’m sure Carlo and co are well prepared and I trust the team handles this Dortmund side and take them to task.

1. I want to talk about the aura of Madrid in finals and how “Real Madrid don’t play finals, they win them”. Some of you may be supporting them for the first time in a final while for some they may have lost track. Personally this will be the sixth time I will be watching them play the champions league final and in my heart I know we will win it. Real humility lies in accepting that your opponent can beat you even if you are the favourite but Real perseverance lies in knowing that we will never give up no matter what. That is forever ingrained in me from 10 years ago when Sergio Ramos equalised in 92:48 to make us destroy atletico 4-1. I have since watched us win from going behind early on, winning in penalties and brutally destroying our opponents. Just like Carlo says I cannot explain what it is but there is something special about this club, it’s the winning dna, the spirit of juanito the comeback mentality, the myth and legend of this club and shirt that allows us to transcend and excel.

If you believe that there is something special about this club then you will know that we will win tonight. A year ago I’ll never forget how low I felt as a fan when we lost 4-0 to city. We have come a long way since then and a long way in this tournament getting revenge against city and beating Bayern Munich. We have come a long way to this final to lose against a side like Dortmund. And I will back my statement by pointing out a unique tradition that sees us always winning the champions league whenever we eliminate the reigning champions.
We have ALWAYS eliminated the title holders in the UCL era whenever we have faced them in the knockout rounds. And guess what ? Each time that happens we go on to win the champions league!
1998 - Dortmund in SF agg (2-0) we Win the UCL
2000 - Manchester United in QF agg (3-2) we Win the UCL
2002- Bayern Munich in QF agg (3-2) we Win the UCL
2014- PEP’S Bayern Munich in SF agg (5-0) we Win the UCL
2022- Chelsea in QF agg (5-4) we Win the UCL
2024 - Man City in QF … ⏳
So Madridistas I would like to end this reflection by saying that no matter what I am super proud of what we have achieved this season it is the culmination and the complete rebuild of Madrid that will never stop winning.
HASTA EL FINAL, VAMOS REAL!

My son is 23, and after a long 3 years of mostly mania which was misdiagnosed as ocd for most of that time until it got worse, he was diagnosed bipolar 1 “mild”.
Here is a background of his symptoms, he’s pretty open with me about them. It started just after or just before he graduated. That summer he wrote a trilogy which was honestly good. When a lot of people think mania and writing you’d expect the rantings of a mad man. Then he had a tshirt buisness. He’s always been super creative and just dives in to what ever he’s passionate about. I suspected autism but he excelled in school and guess I was waiting for the teachers to say hey he’s on the spectrum and they never did so I was like maybe I’m paranoid. Im not I still think he’s on the spectrum. His tshirt work was amazing also. He was in a band as well and they released a record locally and then they broke up I think due to his behavior I’m sure he wanted creative control. They are still friends tho. first year of college he changed his major 3 times whilst still doing all the things above and honestly it seemed good but his energy felt manic so I was actually worried. I’m an RN with er background so I’ve seen some psych. I was just watching Hoping it was just Unbridled youth. It started to morph into ocd like obsessions with his appearance, disordered eating and what appeared to be religious ocd. During this time I was watching and assessing and talking to him thinking maybe he was getting burnt out or something that talking can fix. Then he calls me and he said mom I think I need mental health help. I made an appointment and he was seen by a nurse practitioner and he dx him with ocd with delusions. He can be slightly delusional but it’s more wildly idealistic and when presented with facts he appears to accept facts with a bit of pushback. Most of his delusions are religious in nature. He tends to invent ideas about god that are not the standard accepted doctrine.
Then he sort of went back to being chill. He’s never fully chill. So I was like this isn’t ocd. Ocd doesn’t stop. He talks to himself a lot .. I do to and so does my other son. We both have adhd. When he does it tho it creeps me out so I asked him if he is hearing anything we don’t. He maintains he’s not having auditory or visual hallucinations. That seemed to be happening more and then he couldn’t sleep and was constantly agitated and apologizing for Being short with everyone. He had to sleep in my room under a weighted blanket loaded up n Benadryl to get a couple hours sleep. Then the self harm started and si. So I took him to the psych hospital 3 times. The third time they kept him and dx him with bipolar 1. They had him follow up with an np and he’s on vraylar 1.5 and Wellbutrin. He never gets fully depressed it’s mixed. The si remains persistent.
Now to my question. He is not well. He functions. He seems hypomanic and depressed at the same. The meds seem to be just barely keeping him ok. He presents well and goes to the np and tells her everything is good. He was reluctant to take meds and I had to be like you have to or move out. He takes them wo issue now. He’s been going out with a new girl from tinder every night, he went to some weird rave thing and met a trans woman and for like 2 days said he was dating her. Then (since that is not his preference) said yea that was weird and went out with another tinder date and didnt come home till 6 am. He’s experimented with hard drugs too. None of this is like him.
I said I think you may be manic and should go get your meds adjusted. He said no I’m depressed so I’m going out and fighting it. He cant be bothered to go get a second opinion with an md. He’s lost in the sauce. Not sure how to help
I should add that his dad, my ex, was hospitalized the year before. I put him on an involuntary hold bc he was having a full blown manic episode with full blown psychotic features and Hallucinations. He got beat up bc he tried to enter his childhood home and then almost arrested for knocking on strangers houses. His sister called me freaking out. I went to visit him and his house was a disaster, he looked like he had done every drug in the world, and was not making any sense. He was dx at 42 with bipolar 1. He’s been almost consistently manic and delusional since I met him at 16. We didn’t know what was wrong. I made him go to counseling at 22 before I left as one ditch effort to make the relationship work. He said they wanted him to take meds and he was never going back. I had assumed schizoaffective disorder bc he’s so highly delusional and hallucinates. He’s got so much trauma I figured it triggered it along with ptsd.
My sons uncle and grandpa killed themself (undiagnosed) so this gene is STRONG.

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• Knights URX II and Colt Upper 1,300$ 1275$ 1250 1200$ Man it hurts to let this one go. Classic KAC URX II with the integrated front sight rail. Currently has a D Wilson steel URX II barrel nut but will come with the original aluminum one. Colt C stamped keyhole teardrop forward assist upper receiver. Colt SOCOM profile 14.5” 13629 M P marked barrel bore is bright and shiny, crisp rifling. The flash hider is loose so you can swap it out with whatever you want. I purchased this upper here and it was rattle canned in browns. I had it blasted off and done up in black Duracoat. The KAC engravings are covered with the new black duracoat so if you want to flex it to the poors you’ll just have to settle for the sexiest quad rail ever made sans the lettering.

This is a longish article; I'm going to add bolding to the sections I feel are most interesting to our community here:
Archive copy
The Kansas City Star
Kansas City, Missouri · Thursday, March 27, 1997 · Page 109/A-1

As the world turns weird

By MATT CAMPBELL
and DONNA McGUIRE
Staff writers
The comet Hale-Bopp is a harbinger from "space brothers" calling us to shed our containers and join the astral plane.
Believe that if you wish, but is it any reason to kill yourself?
Something along those lines apparently inspired 39 people to take their lives in a rented Southern California mansion. Religious scholars and cult watchers say we can expect more bizarre ⏤ though not necessarily lethal ⏤ behavior on the fringes of society.
"As we get closer to the millennium, there is a greater and greater anxiety among the human race...," said Philip Lucas, editor of Nova Religio, a journal on alternative and emergent religions. "More and more people are looking for answers or a plan."
Cults are as ancient as human society, as is speculation about cosmic meanings. But the people who committed suicide this week apparently were high-tech believers ⏤ computer programmers
See AS, A-20, Col. 1
"They believe the Earth is impure. Therefore it is a rational decision to try to escape from it." -Phillip Lucas, editor of Nova Religio journal
Archive copy
The Kansas City Star
Kansas City, Missouri · Thursday, March 27, 1997 · Page 128/A-20

As millennium nears, world turns weirder

Continued from A-1
who earned their living creating Internet Web sites under the name Higher Source.
It is unclear whether the cult depended on its World Wide Web site Heaven's Gate to recruit converts. If the medium is the message, however, the Internet has proved that it can have a mystical aspect.
"The computer is a tool for communicating in ways that we'd never imagined even five years ago," said Tim Miller, and associate professor of religious studies at the University of Kansas, "and people with religious interests have jumped on it just like everyone else has.
"Of course, the basic fact of the Internet is the way you communicate without censorship or intervention. That means, inevitably, people outside the mainstream are going to see this as a real opportunity."
There will always be cults and collections of people who believe things that the rest of us find bizarre. The California sect members left messages that they expected to rendezvous with an alien power traveling in a spaceship in the wake of Hale-Bopp's tail. To accomplish that, they had to leave their "containers," or bodies, behind.
As the millennium approaches, more groups might fret about the apocalypse. Indeed, that happened in Europe the last time we approached a millennium. Just approaching the turn of a century has sparked the same rhetoric.
But sociologists say that doesn't mean people should expect large numbers of similar mass suicides in the next three years.
"Cult activity with these kinds of outcomes is extremely rare," said Mary Jo Neitz, a sociology professor at the University of Missouri-Columbia. "There is a tremendous number of religious groups and cults out there. But this is a very unlikely event, that it would end in mass suicide."
Miller, who has studied cults for 25 years, agreed there is no indication that ritual suicides will become the vogue of the late 1990s.
"There have been isolated instances of mass suicides throughout history for religious or political purposes," Miller said, "but no, I don't see it as a trend. . . . Such isolated events are too small to generalize."
There is a lot of interest in Hale-Bopp among so-called New Age movements. A group called Cosmic Maya, for example, preaches that the comet is bringing an "auspicious and timely message" to humanity, perhaps even returning part of the human soul lost long ago.
But the movement's tenets, at least as printed in a New Age publication called The Edge, contain no reference to alien life, transporting to the stars or ritual suicide.
"I just don't think that there is any direct lesson to be gained" from the California case, Miller said. "Will there be other groups that commit mass suicide? Who knows. To me, the issue is can you identify them in advance. And I'd say emphatically not."
William Svoboda, a pediatric neurologist in Wichita and a scholar of cult behavior, said cults typically revolve around a central leader who is answerable to no man.
The reported young ages of many of the people apparently involved in the San Diego cult makes sense to cult watchers. The people most susceptible tend to be at transition stages, such as between school and career.
Svoboda said ritual suicide usually occurs when a cult's leader becomes sufficiently paranoid to seek his or her own escape from life.
"And unfortunately, he drags his followers along with him," Svoboda said. "The pathology begins with the leader."
However rare such extreme behavior is, Lucas noted that even people in mainstream businesses, religions and organizations can go off the deep end.
Jim Jones was a Pentecostal Christian before he created his own dogma and led more than 900 followers to death in Guyana in 1978.
Missouri and Kansas have not been immune to cult activity:

• In 1989, Jeffrey Lundgren, a defrocked lay minister of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Independence, killed five members of a former Independence family at a religious commune in Ohio. He was sentenced to death.
  
• In 1991 five persons affiliated with a religious group in Russell Country, Kan., abruptly left the country for Israel. The group apparently was inspired by UFO sightings and linked them to religious portents.
  
• In 1992, a religious cult outside Liberty was exposed when a woman told police that leader Nelson DeCloud, who claimed a direct link to God, had raped and sodomized her. He was sentenced to 220 years.
  

"Becoming involved in demanding religious activity often gives people stability in their lives," Neitz said, adding that it remains rare for them to commit suicide.
Not everyone who joins a cult will remain, either, she said.
"There is this image of cults as having mindwashing or brainwashing activities, that once you get involved, you can't get out," she said. "The data doesn't bear that out. The rates of defection are actually quite high."
Svoboda estimated that there are 3,500 to 7,000 cults in the United States. He said those in the Midwest tend to be oriented toward deeply conservative or survivalist beliefs.
By contrast, Lucas said, "the UFO-contacting groups, of which Higher Source appears to be one, believe the 'space brothers' are...contacting people on...Earth to give them spiritual wisdom or a plan on how to survive.
"These groups are often neognostic," Lucas said, referring to a belief in salvation through knowledge. "They believe the Earth is impure. Therefore it is a rational decision to try to escape from it. By killing themselves physically, they're not entering oblivion, they're making their transit."
Many cult watchers believe computers and the Internet are simply new ways to spread religious messages in the modern world. Countless Web sites are maintained by mainstream religious groups.
Svoboda said some cults actively recruit on the Internet. But he said most computer chatter about cults tends to be warnings from ex-cult members who have escaped.
Internet watchers also say cults are far less prevalent a threat to naive browsers than are financial schemers or deceptive romantic suitors.
But Lucas speculates that people most comfortable with the Internet and technology in general may be predisposed to accept theories of more advanced civilizations from space.
Neitz doubts that computer wizards would be more predisposed than others to join cults ⏤ or that cults could recruit well over the Internet, a format that lacks the necessary face-to-face connection.
"Social ties are important," Neitz said. "People get recruited into cults through other people they know. There has to be a personal connection made and some tie established."
There is another article from the same newspaper on the Heaven's Gate tragedy, with an image from the group's original website along with a picture of the meat wagon collecting the corpses here if anyone is interested.

(At Hazbin Hotel, the cat is sleeping at the sofa, until it hears a hammer sound and sees Charles at a stair in the front of a banner above the entrance door saying "Happy First Week, Miss Pentious")
Charles: That looks perfect! (Screams excitedly) I am so excited that Miss Pentious is staying at the hotel!
Vagner: Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with her weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago.
Charles: Well, I haven't seen her try to pull any of that here.
(The cat runs from Miss Pentious pushing a giant ray gun)
Vagner: What the hell is that?!
Miss Pentious: Oh, hello, purple male. It's my new invention: the Skin Flayer 11,000! I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.
Charles: What? Why?
Miss Pentious: Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they're planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machines are here!
(Two boys enter the hotel with a bunch of box in a cart)
Oddie: Sign here, please. (Gives a clipboard and pen to Miss Pentious, she signs it and give it back) Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.
Vagner: Carmine? As in Carmillo Carmine? You are buying parts from an overlord?
Miss Pentious: Uh, of course. He's the top weapons dealer in Hell.
Vagner: Okay, well, that stops right now. (Gets the kart with the boxes from Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Hey!
Vagner: You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel! No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice beacause they they want you to feel welcome.
(Miss Pentious looks at the bar Hisky and Angela give her the middle finger and Niffter smiles and laughs creepily to her)
Miss Pentious: I have my doubts.
Vagner: Well it's true. You have to trust us.
Miss Pentious: But I don't.
Charles: Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?
Vagner: Not before we lay some ground rules: no more building weapons, no more plotting against the other guests and you need to get rid of these things.
(One of the Egg Girls shoots a laser at the roof and breaks it)
Vagner: Ah! What did I just say? What did I just say?
Miss Pentious: What? Not my little Egg Girls! They do my evil bidding for my.
Vagner: Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?
Miss Pentious: Yes?
Vagner: Then, no more eggs!
Miss Pentious: Alright, eggies. You've got to go. I (Sniffs) can't keep you anymore.
Egg Girl #1: Okay, boss!
Miss Pentious: No, don't resist, this is how it has to be.
(The egg girls follow Vagner and Miss Pentious cries sterically with Charles patting her)
(Alice is seen eating a dead deer with fork and knife in a table in the middle of a swamp)
Vagner: Alice!
(The screen moves showing the swamp in a room and Vagner at the door)
Alice: Do you mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast.
Vagner: Pentious' eggs are all over the place and I need you to get rid of them.
Alice: Oh! Well, in that case, I'd be delighted to!
Vagner: Humanely!
Alice: Um. Well, that's a lot less fun. But I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today. (Leaves her room)
Vagner: Great! (See the dead deer) Oh, this is disgusting.
(At the looby)
Charles: Hi, guys! Thanks for coming! It's been brought to our attention that there maybe a littleeeeeeeee tension at the hotel!
(Miss Pentious grabs Niffter and prepares to shoot him, but Vagner gets her gun)
Vagner: Tension that can be counterproductive to what we're trying to do here.
Charles: We think that this group could really benefit from...(Jumps in front of a lighthing background) Trust exercises!
Vagner: Trust exercises! Oh, shit! (Falls butt down on the ground and Charles gets him up)
Charles: Vagner, we rehearse this. (Sighs) We're doing trust exercises!
Hisky: So, um, what's with the whole, uh...This?
(A stage is seen behind Vagner and Charles)
Hisky: I'm not about to put on some show for these fuckings chumps!
Angela: Oh, I will! (Puts her legs in Hisky's) But it's cash up first. And I know that one afford me.
Miss Pentious: Gross! I'd think of it, spider!
Vagner: Right, let's get started. Charles?
Charles: Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one. I trust everyone, so maybe you'd know better about how to build it properly.
Vagner: What? Uh, I don't know I'm qualified to...
Charles: Oh, come on! It'll be easy, I'm sure you can handle this.
Vagner: Yeah, um, sure. I can handle this, no problem. (Inhales) Alright, so we are starting with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable about yourself and then fall backwards while the rest lf the group catches you, got it? Who wants to go first?
Charles: Ooh! Ooh! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Vagner: Alright, get on up there!
(Charles gets in the stage)
Charles: I...I love you guys. Like, really love you! (Turns around, falls backwards and Vagner catches him)
Vagner: Got you!
Charles: That...Felt...Good! Angela, why don't go next?
Angela: Fine! (Goes to the stage)
Vagner: This time everyone needs to catch her, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you!
Angela: Well, something about myself, huh? Well, how about this? I love to lick...
Hisky: I swear to fuck if you say pussies!
Angela: Lollipops, ya sicko! Get your head head of the gutter! (Falls backwards and Hisky catches her) But ya know? Pussies, too. (Hisky drops her) Ahh! Alright, new girl, you're up.
(A spotlight shines on Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: I don't want to leave without my minions! Nobody catch me. (Falls backwards and Vagner, Charlie and Hisky catch her) Damn it!
Vagner: That's great. Wow, you're slimy. Good job. Uh, Niffter? (Niffter runs runs past him and gets in the stage)
Niffter: Sometimes, I kill father bugs in front of their children as a warning to others! (Falls from the stage, everyone backs away and he falls face down in the ground) Yay! Pain! (Gets up, goes to the stage, falls and repeats it) Hehe, pain!
(Charles and Vagner walk away)
Charles: I don't think this really working the way we hoped. Maybe, we should...
Vagner: Honey, you have to trust me here. I got this, okay? I'll figure something out.
Angela: If you're in the market for some ideas, I got just the thing for some trust building.
Vagner: (Sighs) What do you have in mind?
(In the town, Alice is seen walking with the Egg Girls)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, boy! What's the plan, boss?
Egg Girl #2: I like your suit.
Egg Girl #3: What are the antlers for?
Egg Girl #4: Can I touch your staff thing?
Egg Girl #5: Are those your ears or is it your hair? I can't tell.
(A tall woman appears in front of Alice)
Zestia: Hark, Alice. How fare thee this day?
Egg Girl #1: Who's that boss? Want me to ruff her up for ya?
Alice: Follow in silence if you value your shells! Greetins, Zestia!
Sinner #1: Ahh! Holy shit! (Falls backwards)
Zestia: Ah, the weather did become fine this day!
Sinner #2: Oh! Uh-oh! (Hides in the garbage)
Alice: Indeed! Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon!
(A demon screams, covers her in gas and combustes her in flames)n
Zestia: If our luck doth hold. I do reveal in the screams. How art thou? (Walks with Alice) It's been an ages since thou hath graced us with thy presence. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to...Holy arms.
Alice: (Laughs) Oh, I just took a well earned sabatical, nothing serious. Though is fun to keep everyone on their toes. Ha ha!
Zestia: (Chuckles) There too hath been rumor of thy involvement with the prince and his flight of fancy. Tell me, how does thou fall in such folly?
Alice: That is for me to know. But please, do guess, I'd love to hear the theories!
Zestia: (Chuckles) T'would be grander folly by far to assume the workings of your mind, Alice. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm.
Alice: Coming from someone as ancient as you I take that as quite the complement!
(They walk into an alley, pass through a security cam and Alice statics it, the girls get in an elevator and Alice prevents the egg girls from entering with her staff)
Alice: No, no. I have a very important task for you: stay here and guard the front until I return.
(The Egg Girls salute Alice, the elevator closes and goes up)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, look, Frankie is up there!
Egg Girl #2: We have names?
(In the top the building, the elevator doors open and Zestial, Alice and Frankie get out of it, Frankie sees a blck eyes man and a blue skull woman saluting and a dinosaur guy come ou of an elevator and all of them enter a room with a table and chairs and Frankie hides behind Alice, the black eyes man see her, she waves at him and he smiles showing his teeth and she hides scared, and a man appears at the end of the table with the delivery boys from later)
Carmillo: Welcome, Hell's sovereign overlords. I invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with a new extermination schedul. We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact. (See Zestia sitting at his side) Zestia, so good to see you my friend.
Zestia: Encanted as always, Carmillo.
Carmillo: Alice?
Alice: Yes, I know, I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering.
Carmillo: Not really. But welcome back in ay case. (Snaps fingers and Oddie gives him a clipboard) This year's extermination was brutal. Far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost. With the Angelic Legions returning twice as quickly, I think is prudent that we...
(Veener quicks the door and everyone looks at him)
Veener: (At the phone) Yes, I've got it handled, Vix. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought. Ha ha ha! Yes, I know, they're all a joke. (Laughs) Thank you, Vee. (Kisses) Kisses, darling!
Carmillo: Nice of you to join us, Veener. Will your colleagues be joining?
Veener: No. They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag that thinks he's tough shit. I'm here to represent.
Carmillo: Charming. (Veener puts a poop filter on him) So, as I was saying, we need to discuss...
(Veener raises and shakes his hand)
Carmillo: Yes?
Veener: On the subject of discussion. (Throws an angel head in the table)
(Everyone gasps)
Alice: Ooh! Tasty!
Carmillo: Where did you get this?
Veener: We found it during the extermination day. If these holy rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them. The girls and I have come up with a full assault plan...
(Everyone hears sipping noises, and look at Zestia drinking tea loudly and she puts the cup in the table)
Zestia: If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war, with such meagre proof. Thou art far more foolish than I be thought.
Veener: (Scoffs) "Meagre proof"? It's a dead fucking exorcist! I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive! You're going blind, old woman?
Zestia: We know not how this perished. Mayhaps it was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing might, they purge all of Hell for ding an uprising.
(Everyone mutters in agreement and Veener looks to Carmillo worried)
Veener: Oh! I get it. So grandma is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right?
(Zestia gets angry)
Veener: Oh, what's the matter, fossil? To senile to make a real power grab for...
Carmillo: (Singing) You better show some respect! Check your behavior! No one speaks too Zestia that way! Did you expect us to sir baxk and rake your insolent brazen display?
Veener: Haha! (Singing) You've got it twisted! I'm not the one who needs a attitude! Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch and I will do nothing else then what I please! Woo! I'm the backbone of the Vees! Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's 'cause no one could respect this. Sorry group attendin', since when are overlords too scared to fight? You're long past trendin'. Sorry, bae, but I ain't swipin' right. You lost your relevance.
Zestia: We can't act without more intelligence!
Veener: Ugh, no wonder I'm so respectless. I could eat you lot for breakfast. You and the Vees are inane and uninformed, Smug wannabes, who don't heed when you've been warned!
Veener: Oops! Did I strike a nerve? 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head, couldn't help but observe that your wrinkled face was turning red! And why are you avoidin' war? That's what the guns you sell are for. Thanks to my being respectless. One thing I'm starting to suspect is. You know why this angel's headless. Do you have a disclosure?
Carmillo: This meeting's over!
(Everyone stare at the boys)
Alice: That was a productive meeting!
Veener: (Normal) Hmmph, fine. Safe travel back to nursing home, fuckers! Kiss my ass! Hahaha! (Leaves the room)
Zeezo: What the hell? We literally just got here.
Oddie: Father?
(Carmillo walks away and Zestia follows him and everyone else leaves the room almost staping on Frankie, and Alice see Zestia and Carmilla enter another room)
Alice: Well, that's interesting. You little egg creature. I have a job for you.
Frankie: Oh, yes, boss.
Alice: Follow them.
(Frankie salutes and enters the other room, back to Vagner, Charles and Angela)
Vagner: Angela! What the actual fuck?!
(They're seem in a sex dungeon)
Angela: No activity requires more trust them BDSM, baby. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage. That's their motto. (Points to a poster)
Charles: Angela, love the enthusiasm. But umm, uh...Hmmmm...
Vagner: What makes you think anyone would be into this?
(Hisky purrs with a mister messaging her)
Hisky: Ya know, I...I don't hate this.
(Niffter appears holding a stick)
Niffter: I'm ready to punish some bad girls. (Giggles)
Hisky: Uhh...Nevermind, I-I'm out. (Gets up and walks away)
(Misters surround Charles)
Charles: (Laughs uncomfortably) Okay, hello there. Hi. Um. Hm...(Vagner drags him away)
Vagner: Ugh, can't fucking believe I let you drag us here, Angela. This is disgusting.
Charles: It's no big deal, Vagner. You know, maybe I can just help, uh...
Vagner: No. I told you could trust me. And I'm not gonna let you down. I just need to teach them the way I was taught.
(In a tower roof)
Charles: This is how you learn to trust people?!
(A lot of demons are seen fighting in a bettlefield)
Vagner: (In drill sergeant style) There is nothing stronger than a trust between comrades and arms. Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men! You...(Grabs Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Wait, wait! I can't fight without my minions...(Vagner throws her off the building)
Vagner:...Are gonna survive together! Miss Pentious: AAAAAAHHH!
(Vagner turns to Angela)
Vagner: And you...
Angela: Don't you even think about it...
Vagner: Are make this hotel work! (Vagner throws grabs and throws Angela off the building)
Angela: AAAAAAHHH!
Niffter: (Excitedly) My turn, my turn!
(Hisky get out of the roof, Vagner grabs Niffter, but Charles catches him)
Charles: Vagner, no!
Vagner: This is the only way they'll learn, Charles.
Charles: No, it's not. There are other ways. It just take time.
Vagner: Time we don't have. How many exterminations will have to gone by before these idiots get their shit together? How many times we have to watch your people be killed before we make headway?
Charles: Vagner...
Vagner: I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm suppose to make your dreams a reality. I'm suppose to protect you. I'm suppose to never fail you. (Leans on the edge of the terrace)
Angela: I blame you for this you crazy bitch!
Charles: You didn't fail me, Vagner...You're not...
Vagner: If I can't help you, what's the point of me?
Charles: (Gasps) Vagner, don't say that! You do so much! It's...
Vagner: I'm sorry. I'd like to be alone for a minute.
(Charles turns away from Vagner and see Angela grabbing Miss Pentious in her back getting in the roof and Angela throws Pentious in the ground)
Angela: Made it.
Charles: Let's go home, guys.
Angela: Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs. (Grabs Miss Pentious and pulls her following Charles)
(In Carmillo's office, he pulls himself a drink)
Carmillo: Ay, que barbaridad. (Drinks from a bottle)
Zestia: Carmillo, what troubles thou? Loosing thy composure is unlike thee.
Carmillo: (Sighs) It's nothing, Zestia. Really.
Zestia: The felled angel...'Twas by thy hand, was it not?
Carmillo: Let's not talk abou it. (Walks away)
Clarence: Dad, maybe she should know.
Carmillo: Nobody should know. (Sits in his desk) I did what to do. I am not discussing this. (Zestia puts her hand in his shoulder)
Zestia: (Singing) What weighs on your soul, old friend? I implore you to share the load. If it was thou who slew the angel, why not let your strength be known?
Carmillo: (Singing) I always thought, that I would keep blood off my face. But when that thing attacked, I had to act, to cross that line and keep them safe. But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war and who's to say who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I was killing for! So I! I'll be your keeper! (Hugs his sons) Do whatever it takes! I'll make the mistakes! I'll keep you safe and keep this secret!
(Meanwhile, Vagner climbs the outside of the hotel)
Vagner: (Singing) When I saw your face, you made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place and it felt so good to be understood. But there's so much I wished that I could say. So I...I'll be your armor, do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes, I'll spend my life being your partner.
Carmillo: And I don't know what we might face, But I know I can't replace you so I'll do anything to save you!
Vagner: And I will try to make your dreams come true!
Vagner and Carmillo: Whatever we go through. I know I....
Carmillo: I'll be your keeper
Vagner: I'll be your armor!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
Carmillo: I'll make the mistakes!
Vagner: I'll make the mistakes!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
(Meanwhile, some of the Egg Girls are dumpster diving)
Egg Girl #3: Ooohh. This smells like fun. Ooh, I love garbage.
(Frankie get out of the elevator and Alice stops her)
Alice: So, what did you hear?
Frankie: First, the old woman w-was all "you're not yourself, you're the one who killed the angel" a-a-and the he was all (Singing) Whatever it takes!
Alice: And then what was that last thing?
Frankie: He killed the angel?
Alice: Interesting. Let's keep this between us, shall we?
Frankie: You got it, boss!
(At the hotel, Vagner finds Charles at the hotel)
Vagner: Hey.
Charles: Hey.
Vagner: I'm sorry I got so crazy today.
Charles: No, no, I'm sorry. I'm put pressure on you. We work as a team. I guess I just thought all this would be easier, but we'll figure it out...Together. I mean, look what your exercise did for them.
(In the sitting room below everyone is laughing)
Angela: And then when that buff girl started beating the shit outta you.
Miss Pentious: Ha ha! Yeah, with the desmembered arm. Yes, that, was, particularly unpleasent.
Niffter: He he. I liked that part.
Hisky: Well hey, at least you can take a beating like a champ. You did okay, new kid.
Miss Pentious: Really? Oh, well, I suppose I did get into a little of the old rough and tumblr today. (Laughs) And, uh...Thank you for pullinh me out of there. (Angela staps her back)
(Everyone laugh and giggle, the girls stop, but Niffter keeps laughing manically)
Vagner: Well, how about that?
(Alice returns)
Vagner: Alice. Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.
Alice: Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be rather useful.
Vagner: Why don't you give them back to Pentious?
Miss Pentious: Really?
Vagner: Yeah. After today, I guess I can trust you with them. But seriously, no more weapons.
Miss Pentious: Ahhhh! (Hugs the Egg Girls) My eggs! Yeah. Oh, it's so good to have you back. Now go clean my quarters this instant!
Charles: Maybe things will move faster than you think.
(In Pentious' room)
Miss Pentious: Ah! How was your day with Alastor, my minions?
Frankie: It was awesome, boss. I went to this meeting and there was a knife guy, an old lady and a dinosaur.
Miss Pentious: Umm. That's nice.
Frnkie: And the knife guy killed an angel. And I was not suppose to be talking about it.
Miss Pentious: Oh, I'm so sure and maybe you'll meet martians tomorrow. Bit now it's time to sleep. Good night, Eggies. (The egg women sleep over her and they all go to sleep)
(The end credits start playing)

I (f39) and my husband (m40) have been together for 20 years and we generally have a pretty good relationship. We live in a one-bedroom apartment in a small complex (the Bayou) just outside of town in Baton Rouge. I work as an AP clerk at a small insurance company and my husband is the deli manager at a grocery store (not Albertsons but about that size).
Anyway, we were having dinner one night at our small metal dining room table. The AC wasn’t keeping up again and we were both kind of hot and tired from the day. We were eating some almost-expired Cajun salad he had gotten at a discount (one of the perks of his job!) and he gets a real sour look on his face. “Got a bad piece of gator?“ I asked, I knew it wasn’t that but I was just trolling him a little. I’ve known him long enough to know he only gets that look on his face after talking to some customer about politics while they’re buying a couple of pounds crawfish etoufee or he reads something on Reddit (it was the second thing).
No, he says, and starts rambling on about women cheating and DNA tests and making sure the children are his. I put my fork down and looked at him because this was kind of incoherent, even for him. “Cleteus,” (not his real name), “what are you on about? We don’t have kids, what, would we DNA test the dogs? I hate to tell you but I’m not their mom, and I hope you’re not their dad.” Our dogs Crawdad and Gator (their real names) just looked up for a second and then put their heads down because they were hot, too.
“Brandee” (not my real name), he says and his face is getting a little red, “you know what I mean! You know how women are!“ And this is where he takes it to 11 to press his point, “I mean if I ever came home and found you in bed with another man, I’d shoot you both, grab my bug out bag and disappear to a country with no extradition before the blood was dry. You know I have a bug out bag!”
I should have just let the hurricane pass, but it was hot, and the whole thing was just so stupid and I had had enough. “I don’t know how women are! Is that something you read on Reddit, or did you make that up yourself?“ He sputtered a little bit and I pressed the point, “how would you get to one of these magical no extradition countries? Just go to the airport and buy a plane ticket? You don’t even have a passport, let alone a visa, how would that work? And you keep talking about your bug out bag, I want to see what’s in it.”
[As a note, if you live along the coast, a bug out bag isn’t a bad idea. Tropical storms and hurricanes can be really bad and last year was the drought and we had wild fires! So having some essentials in a bag if you have to leave quickly is a good idea.]
Clete went and pulled his bug out bag from under our bed. It was a camouflage “tactical” backpack he had picked up at Walmart. He set it in the center of the table. I had never really thought about what was in it, but I was curious now so I opened the bag up. Cletus started to protest but just watched as I pulled out the clothes from the top. There were couple of worn t-shirts and a pair of jeans that definitely didn’t fit him anymore. Underneath the clothes was an old promotional first aid kit from my work that was from 2008 and an envelope with a dollar and a couple of quarters in it. He said there had been more money in it, but he’d borrowed it out when he needed money for beer.
There was some more stuff like random dried food packs (beets! And all very expired), a couple bottles of yellowish looking water, an old rusty pocket knife, some rope? It was all pretty anti-climactic. But there was one box still at the bottom of the bag. When I pulled it out he tried to grab it out of my hands, but I kept it away from him and opened the plastic lid. It was Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and not even the good ones! Just doubles of the mids from his collection. “You have Yu-Gi-Oh cards in your bug out bag?“
I couldn’t hold it in anymore and started laughing so hard I had to sit down.
Then Clete did grab the box out of my hand and put everything back in the bag. And then he put the bag back under the bed and played Minecraft or Roblox or whatever for the rest of the night. He’s been kind of cool to me this week.
So, AITAH for laughing at his bug out bag?
SOURCE

I am a office goer like 9-5 and i believe that fragrance should define a mans personality. Nevertheless i havent developed any signature cologne that i use. But below is my poor collection as i always run on a budget.

1. Rassasi Daarej, 2. Rassasi Oud al misk, 3. Perpetual Oudh by Zara, 4, Interim, 5, Engage m3 , m1, 6. David Beckham SPORT. Currently looking to invst in Beardo Godfather to add to my collection. Basically I want to have some cool long lasting and something that really defines and gives an imprint for office. That the smell can recognize that its me. Suggest me something great. My budget is 2k cant go over tht

I’m making this post halfway through the S4 finale. I just freaking hate Callaway and Pratt.
Still rooting for Neal, Peter, and of course, my favorite Mozzie
Will update this with a more descriptive thoughts / review
I do prefer the hijinks of the earlier seasons but I like how we get to know more about our characters here.
Didn’t like the bonnie and clyde episodes much and tbh, I’m not liking Sara (I used to like her I don’t know why it’s wearing off)
Diana and Delmon had that chemistry hahaha in another world, they would’ve been good (yes I know Diana’s lesbian which is why I said in another world)
Edit 1: WHAT THE FUCK, JAMES? SORRY BUT NEAL’S DAD IS SO SKETCHY. MY POOR PETER. Gahd. Ah.
Fave characters this season: Mozzie and Hughes
EDIT 2: FINISHED THE SEASON AND WHAT THE HELL. MY PETER… :( SCREW YOU JAMES BENNETT. Disgusting man

Every single difference I recognized between the original mixtapes and trilogy. I’m a music producer so I recognize these random mixing differences pretty easily, I also know basically all of these songs very well. Let me know in the comments if I miss something. The most noticeable and/or well-known differences are listed at the top of each song description.
House of Balloons (Mixtape 1)
High For This (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: punchier and louder drums
VOCALS: slightly louder and clearer
What You Need (original)-
Has the sample intro before the song from Aaliyah’s song “Rock The Boat”
INSTRUMENTAL: Kick drum is slightly louder
VOCALS: Have slightly more reverb
House of Balloons (original)-
VOCALS:
Have more effects making them less clear
Louder with less reverb
Also they’re heard just slightly earlier in the song, like barely off beat but not necessarily enough to be considered off beat, it’s hard to even tell(I forgot the musical term for it, something to do with measures or intervals).
Also some parts of the vocals are not pitch corrected as well as they are on trilogy
INSTRUMENTAL:
The “woah” sample part is slightly louder than the actual beat
The sample has more reverb and is quieter
Sub bass is louder
Glass Table Girls (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
Has a little more reverb
Also has a weird clicky sound that is slightly offbeat that is mixed out of the trilogy version. It’s in the end part of the loop that plays the whole song, if you know what I’m talking about then you understand.
VOCALS:
Slightly quieter until the “la la la” part where they are louder but then they duck down quieter when he starts harmonizing after it
The Morning (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
Slightly louder guitar with less effects
Perc/hit that you hear in the first verse is louder
During the first verse you can hear the guitar build up, it has more reverb until the beat drops
The kick drum after the chorus is much louder
The synth in the back during the chorus is quieter
VOCALS:
Louder
Slightly less pitch corrected
Some of his adlibs/harmonizations are louder
Wicked Games (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
the guitar is louder and has less effects
VOCALS:
have distortion
are much louder
vocals on chorus are less pitch corrected
The Party (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: the 808 is much louder for some reason lol
VOCALS: louder with slightly more distortion and reverb
The After Party (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: once again the 808/bass is very loud, I rarely ever see it played this loud in songs lmao
VOCALS: have more distortion and are louder
OTHER: The transition to “coming down” at the end of the song isn’t as clean, the volume of the wind sample isn’t the same as the start of “coming down”
Coming Down (original)-
Anime sample from “Fate/Stay Night” at 3:13 that isn’t in the trilogy version because it couldn’t be cleared. It plays a looped part of it throughout the rest of the song after 3:13.
VOCALS: barely louder
Little to no differences with this song.
Loft Music (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: quieter and honestly better mixed drums
Virtually no other differences other than his harmonizing on the back half being slightly louder
The Knowing (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
slightly quieter lead guitar that’s in the intro
beat is definitely not as loud
the bass sounds slightly off-key at some times
Louder distorted guitar that plays when he sings “I know everything”
VOCALS: louder with less effects and aren’t fully pitch corrected
Thursday (Mixtape 2)
Lonely Star (original)- Louder sample at the start of the song (“yes all I can say is yes”)
INSTRUMENTAL:
Louder arpeggiator bass throughout the whole song
VOCALS:
quieter and have more delay effects
pitch corrected slightly less like most of these songs
Life of the Party (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
Louder and more distorted guitar sample
louder drums
The chorus has a random guitar lead that plays one note the whole time that you can’t really hear on trilogy
VOCALS:
quieter and have more chorus effects but sound clearer because they probably aren’t as eq’ed as the trilogy mix.
His harmonizations aren’t as deep.
Thursday (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
the lead pluck sound you hear is more harsh and louder.
the bass is also louder
VOCALS: louder and have more reverb and distortion
The Zone (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
vocals that loop the whole song are quieter and mixed in more
Sub bass and drums are louder.
VOCALS:
Delay effects on vocals are louder and the vocals in general are quieter.
Drake’s vocals have more distortion, are eq’ed to be higher and have less pitch correction. I fucking love this song lol.
The Birds Pt 1 (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: snare drums and bass are louder
VOCALS: louder
The Birds Pt 2 (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: louder guitar
VOCALS: louder
Not many differences in the birds pt 1 and 2
Gone (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: deeper and less punchy bass
VOCALS: much quieter
Rolling Stone (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: intro distorted guitar has more bass
Basically no other differences, Thursday doesn’t have many
Heaven or Las Vegas (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: very slightly louder bass.
VOCALS: slightly louder as well
This version compared to the trilogy one is basically the exact same thing like most thursday songs
Echoes of Silence (Mixtape 3)
D.D (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: more explosive drums
VOCALS: quieter
Montreal (original)- Literally no differences besides the drums being louder (this song is so fucking catchy holy shit it’s so good)
Outside (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: quieter drums
VOCALS: louder
XO (original)-
I always found this funny, in this version it doesn’t sound like he’s saying “xo” on the hook. It’s sounds like “ech- o” i swear to god you cant hear him pronounce the “x” im convinced he’s saying “echo” on this version lmao.
INSTRUMENTAL:
strings in the intro are louder but then get quiet in the actual song
drums are louder
VOCALS: louder Transition to The Host is slightly less clean
The Host (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: sub bass is louder
VOCALS: slightly more distorted
Virtually nothing else
Initiation (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: the kick is way louder in this version for some reason
VOCALS: when his vocals are transitioning between octaves (when they go up and down and all that with the pitch), it’s less clean
They are also louder with less basic mixing effects, they sound kind of flat here
Same Old Song (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: the sample vocal in the back that’s pitched up is mixed differently, has less reverb and is quieter
Literally no other differences besides louder drums. Juicy J’s outro is still as dope as it is on trilogy
The Fall (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL:
the bass is much, much quieter
the drum break part at the start is higher pitched
VOCALS: much louder and more distorted, they sound a little more like they did on house of balloons
Next (original)-
INSTRUMENTAL: drums are quieter
VOCALS: louder
Not too many differences
Echoes of Silence (original)-
VOCALS: louder and have louder delay. Good thing the volume was lowered in trilogy bc it sounds way better on there for a song that has this type of melancholy and acoustic but dark energy to it. I fucking love this song it’s so sad man wtf
So most of the differences among these songs have to do with volume/mixing effects but most of them have louder and more distorted vocals. It’s mostly really volume automation but it makes a huge difference. Thank you if you read this far, let me know if I missed anything.
(This is a repost of an older post that I had saved before the person had took it down in which they talked abt some differences they found between trilogy and the og mixtapes)

Hello ! I've just posted a video sharing my favourite vegan sandwich. If you got a spare few minutes I'd be so grateful if you could have a watch. Thank you! :)
Click here for the video
Recipes:
Curried chickpeas Enough for 4 sandwiches
Ingredients:
1 red onion 1 garlic clove 1 inch fresh ginger 1 tbsp olive oil 1 tbsp tomato puree 2 tsp curry powder ¼ tsp ground turmeric ¼ tsp ground cardamom 1 tbsp red wine vinegar 3 tbsp vegan mayo 1 tsp lemon juice 1 tbsp chopped coriander
Method:

• Finely chop red onion. Zest garlic and ginger.
• Fry onion, garlic and ginger gently for 5 minutes.
• Add tomato puree, cook for 1 minute.
• Add curry powder and ground turmeric, cook for 30 seconds.
• Add red wine vinegar, cook for 30 seconds. Take off heat and leave to cool.
• Once cool add vegan mayo, lemon juice and coriander.

Tomato Jam Enough for 4 sandwiches
Ingredients:
1 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp cumin seeds 1 bay leaf 1 tsp mustard seeds 1 white onion 2 garlic cloves ½ a fresh chili 1 tsp ground coriander 250g cherry tomatoes 40ml white wine vinegar or apple cider vinegar 70g brown sugar
Method:

• Finely chop onion, garlic and chili.
• Heat olive oil on a medium heat in a small saucepan.
• Add the cumin seeds, bay leaf and mustard seeds and fry for 30 seconds stirring regularly.
• Add onion, chili and garlic and fry for 5 minutes or until soft.
• Add ground coriander, cherry tomatoes, vinegar and brown sugar.
• Cook for 5-10 minutes until thick and sticky.

Flatbread Makes 4 Flatbreads
Ingredients:
1 tsp dried yeast 1 tsp sugar 50g plain flour 100g wholemeal bread flour 50g semolina 1 tbsp mixed seeds 1 tsp mustard seeds 1 tbsp olive oil 1 tbsp vegan yoghurt 80- 90ml warm warm water ½ tsp maldon salt
Method:

• In a small bowl mix yeast, sugar and 1 tbsp warm water and leave to activate for 5 minutes.
• In a large bowl combine all other ingredients plus the yeast mixture.
• Mix into a rough, slightly sticky dough. Knead dough for 10 minutes. It should feel smooth and bouncy once finished. Place dough into a lightly oiled bowl and leave to rest for 30 minutes.
• Divide dough into 6 balls. Dust surface with semolina and roll out each ball into a disk, about 1 cm thick.
• Place on a tray dusted with semolina, cover with cling film and leave to rise for 1 hour in a warm place or until doubled in size.
• Lightly oil a heavy based frying pan and place over a medium heat. Fry flatbreads for 4 minutes on each side until golden all over.
• Occasionally check under flatbread to ensure they are not burning. Adjust heat according to how quickly the flatbreads are cooking.
• Place flatbreads onto a wire rack and leave to cool slightly before eating.