Just to preface this, i've genuinely never dated before. She's my first girlfriend ever, at 26.
I buy her things or pay both our ways whenever we go out. Like when i take her to a movie, i usually cover it all myself. I bought her dinner and paid her shoe rental when we went bowling. Plus i bought her flowers. It's just what i've always assumed a guy does for his date. (Am i wrong for thinking that? i genuinely don't know. I'm new to this and only know what i've seen in movies/tv)
She always does appreciate it, like she seems genuinely moved by it. She'll get emotional, hug me and tell me i either don't need to do it or offers to pay me back. There's also been a couple times where she bought something for herself or me on dates so i'm not covering it 100% (Like after i covered the meal and our shoe rental, she bought her own drink just for example).
Currently, she's between jobs. We were talking on the phone and she was talking about her favorite desserts and in that same conversation, she mentioned how she's struggling financially. She's relying on her savings and her parents help her, but they're trying to get her more independent. I told her if she needed anything to tell me, but she said she's afraid to ask people for things and only takes help that's offered. So i offered to buy her some groceries. At first, i offered to buy her this ice cream she mentioned that she loved, then i asked later if she needed anything else while i was out. Which she accepted, she give me a list of a few things and it was a little pricey (The bill was a little over80 dollars).
I take it to her house and her dad sees the bags and really seems unhappy about the amount of food. Like he wasn't rude or aggressive to me, but there was this tension in the air. Like he wants me gone.
And later, my gf calls me and says her dad fussed at her. He made her feel bad because she got that stuff for free and didn't pay me back anything. I made it clear i did it cause i really like her and i know she's been struggling to get a job.I wanted to help her.
She told me that he doesn't want her to be taking advantage of me and that i was spoiling her. She told me "She eats well"
And now, 3 days later, she hasn't really talked to me since then (we talked almost every day prior) so i think i might've messed up. Either by buying the groceries for her or by just generally buying her gifts and things
She makes it seem like he thought i was spoiling her or that she was taking advantage of me and that's why he fussed at her. She also said it might be because she didn't have permission to have me over or didn't tell them first. I don't know.
Her dad was nice to me, but he seemed like he was trying to kind of...get me out of their house. He told me "You don't wanna keep your ride waiting" and how she "Has a job interview this afternoon". But we shook hands and he asked me about my job.

AITB for buying my girlfriend groceries?
Just to preface this, i've genuinely never dated before. She's my first girlfriend ever, at 26.
I usually do buy her things or pay both our ways whenever we go out. Like when i take her to a movie, i usually cover it all myself. I bought her dinner and paid her shoe rental when we went bowling. Plus i've bought her gifts, like the groceries and i bought her flowers. It's just what i've always assumed a guy does for his date. (Am i wrong for thinking that, i genuinely don't know. I'm new to this and only know what i've seen in movies/tv)
She always does appreciate it, like she seems genuinely moved by it. She'll get emotional, hug me and tell me i either don't need to do it or offers to pay me back. There's also been a couple times where she bought something for herself or me on dates so i'm not covering it 100% (Like after i covered the meal and our shoe rental, she bought her own drink just for example).
Currently, she's between jobs. We were talking on the phone and she was talking about her favorite desserts and in that same conversation, she mentioned how she's struggling financially. She's relying on her savings and her parents help her, but they're trying to get her more independent. I told her if she needed anything to tell me, but she said she's afraid to ask people for things and only takes help that's offered. So i offered to buy her some groceries. At first, i offered to buy her this ice cream she mentioned that she loved, then i asked later if she needed anything else while i was out. Which she accepted, she give me a list of a few things and it was a little pricey (The bill was a little over80 dollars).
I take it to her house and her dad sees the bags and really seems unhappy about the amount of food. Like he wasn't rude or aggressive to me, but there was this tension in the air. Like he wants me gone.
And later, my gf calls me and says her dad fussed at her. He made her feel bad because she got that stuff for free and didn't pay me back anything. I made it clear i did it cause i really like her and i know she's been struggling to get a job.I wanted to help her.
She told me that he doesn't want her to be taking advantage of me and that i was spoiling her. She told me "She eats well"
And now, 3 days later, she hasn't really talked to me since then (we talked almost every day prior) so i think i might've messed up. Either by buying the groceries for her or by just generally buying her gifts and things (IE: i bought her some flowers, the food, i usually pay whatever food bills when we eat out)
I don't know what the issue is. She makes it seem like he thought i was spoiling her or that she was taking advantage of me and that's why he fussed at her. Or maybe he was offended by me giving her the food instead of him as the dad (Her family is a little traditional christian type). She also said it might be because she didn't have permission to have me over or didn't tell them first. I don't know.
Her dad was nice to me, but he seemed like he was trying to kind of...get me out of their house. He told me "You don't wanna keep your ride waiting" and how she "Has a job interview this afternoon". But we shook hands and he asked me about my job.
But yeah, i mean...it got her fussed at and she hasn't really been engaged in talking to me since. So i think i might've gone too far.

My stepfather is stern and will talk to me in a rough voice. I don't like it. I try to talk gently and with respect but instead he just talks sternly. His voice is not gentle. My mom says he loves me and maybe he does, but whenever we have small conversation, he talks that way. I don't like living with him. But situations are in such way that I can't leave. I do my best to have a normal conversation and improve the relation, but still he talks as if he hates me? (Or maybe it's all in my head.) I don't know if I am delusional or maybe at fault.
I just don't like to call him dad anymore. I want to live peacefully where no one treats me in that way. I am an emotionally sensitive person. Whenever someone talks to me rudely or in a controlling way, my heart cowers in fear. I don't even have the guts to talk back. I am clumsy and people see me as a dumb person. I feel pathetic of myself and maybe a loser.
I don't have anyone to share those feelings, so I just posted it here. I don't want to be judged. I just want to live peacefully with my own accords.

My Grandmother is a Caucasian, 70 year old woman, no medication, probably between 4’11- and 5’1, about 160 lbs ( Not sure, she’s got thin arms and legs, and while her body isn’t thin, it’s not really heavyset. She has no problem with her mobility, maybe just slower walking, has a bad hip but refuses to take any medication of any kind for any reason, and is a HUGE chain smoker. Probably one or two packs a day. This would explain her infrequent but still noticeable, phlegmy cough from time to time.
I don’t know everything about her past but I know some: One of seven children, parents used to scream a lot, she used to cry in bed with her sister when it happened, told me she stayed away from home as much as she could, started smoking at about 12 years old, got pregnant with my dad at 15, became a mom at 16, by all accounts was the best mom ever, biking, reading, dancing, encouraging my dad to try new things, but still moved around a lot, and kept going from house to house, to trailer, etc.
When she was about early 20s, she met and married a guy who she later divorced because they had a kind of culture clash. I don’t remember exactly what he was, but he was very controlling of her, forbidding her to wear swimsuits, or going anywhere without him, and eventually he threatened her several times with knives and a hand around her neck. Never did anything but she was afraid of knives for a very long time afterwards.
She met my grandpa, and I guess things were fine until after she had my aunt. Sometime after she was away from home as much as she could by way of bingo.This led to her using what she could out of her own paychecks until she came after my grandpa’s, who let her. He sold stuff around the house and eventually asked people for money. Sometime after being married to my grandpa she randomly developed night terrors and sleepwalking. Full on waking up and screaming, full on walking outside and screaming. I guess it just stopped. Was controlling of my aunt, didn’t want her trying new foods, didn’t go out or do fun things with her like she did with my dad.
Nowadays it is well known that nobody wants to live with her, but she’s not like abusive or stealing. But here is what we have noticed:
Heavy chain smoker. It doesn’t look like she even finishes them, she goes like halfway, stops, lights a new one.
Can’t or won’t sit and watch a movie or show. Will start one, get up and do laundry, take care of the dog, check her phone, play on her phone, and will full on have a conversation with you or someone when she was the one who wanted to watch the movie.
Frequent gambler. We just went on a cruise to place she’s always wanted to go and she spent a good chunk either smoking or gambling.
Very annoyed with the smells or steam of foods to the point where she’ll complain or get up and move. My grandpa famously only had seafood twice while married to her and he loved seafood.
Very irritable if she goes a while without a cigarette. She was pretty rude in the airport.
Gets annoyed easily when starting to board or get off the plane. Will full on loudly complain about the heat or cold. Kept asking my dad to open window, close window, turn ac off, turn ac on. Whiny.
Restless, seems like she can’t sit still or focus on anything in a climate where she has to sit and be quiet. (Planes and shows)
Known to start fights about pretty much anything that she doesn’t like. It is all about her from the thermostat, the entertainment, the volume, food, etc very difficult to live with
Very dramatic. Complained she was so cold on an excursion she couldn’t move her leg, and then refused to see a doctor about a numb leg. Said she’d just take a shower and then was suddenly all better about an hour later when she was smoking. Never showered, shrugged it off by saying she’ll be all right.
Dramatic in a little kid version. Like when a two year old is confused or thinking, they’ll scratch their head, purse their lips. Like their mimicking confusion verbal cues? Like they’re thinking this is what we do when we’re confused so this is what I will do. She seems to react to things dramatically and like a second or two after a proper reaction time?
A dog barked and her whole body moved in startled matter. If she hates something she eats, she makes an audible grunt, forces a sad expression in her face, holds a napkin to her mouth, and will dramatically push the food away. It’s not just dramatic, for some reason it makes me think of a toddler going through the motions so to speak.
Will sometimes ask us questions and then immediately talk to someone else or walk away and do something.
Says she’s an introvert who doesn’t like talking to people, but actively makes a point to talk to people. Not in a rude way or anything, just likes talking to people. Not sure if that means anything but I’ve always noticed that. Why would you say you dont like talking to people if you actually do?
Has quit a few jobs for silly reasons, and made impulse buys, like a new car when she obviously can’t afford it. Even back when I was a kid, she was known to gamble nearly everything, and could never afford anything, even though she made decent money.
Loves to complain. Or she just complains a lot. Going out to eat with her is usually a nightmare unless we go out with her to an approved place.
My dad made a joke that she’s ADD and it got me thinking about everything. Can she have and have had undiagnosed ADD? Can symptoms of an ADD nature appear because of trauma? Can trauma beforehand affect symptoms of ADD?
Or maybe it’s undiagnosed anxiety or depression, but can those lead to restlessness or symptoms like ADD?
My great grandma once told my mom apologetically my grandma has always put herself first before anyone. But dad’s joke had made me wonder if there’s maybe overstimulation or…something?
I know you’re not psychic and I’m happy to give any extra info, but I wondered if a person can be horribly selfish if they have some kind of undiagnosed whatever.
Thank you! :)

Hay look I'm at it again weeeeeeeeee.
Dorn walked down the hall, determined. If her sister couldn't listen to reason from her, then she would at least listen to reason from her beloved. As she walked, she searched for the assassin; she had been told he would be here. She stopped, a sense of dread and fear slowly creeping upon her. The pariah was close, but she steeled herself, found the door, and opened it. There he was, cleaning off his equipment from a recent mission. His special helmet was off, revealing slightly curled dark brown hair that reached his back, and a pale face with two black pits for eyes.
He looked up at her, stood, and bowed. "My lord, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, found a place to sit, and beckoned him closer to talk. She knew very little about Curze's lover. From what she had gathered, he was initially very blunt and plain, with little emotion. However, due to interacting with her and her sister's lovers and supposed 'therapy' by her sister Sanguinius, he had grown more expressive and lively. Still, he was often blunt and sometimes rude. The story of how they first met still baffled her. Its wasn't so much love at first sight but more love at first kidnapping. How love blossomed from that, she didn’t know. Her lover said that he was happy and, in their words, "he's head over heels for her."
"I wanted to talk to you about Curze."
He looked back at her, his neutral expression unchanged. "What about her? Nothing bad has happened to her, I presume."
"No, nothing about her, more about her methods. They are barbaric and not of the Imperial way! I beg of you, please. I tried to talk sense into her, but she wouldn't have it. I need you to—"
She was cut off by an irritated sigh. A wave of dread and fear washed over her but quickly subsided. If she was affected by it, she didn’t show it and remained firm. The pariah looked up at her. "There’s nothing more I can do. Her and her legion's methods are their own, and I have more important things to attend to. Now, if you have something else to discuss or require my services, I believe this topic is over."
Her expression hardened, and her determination grew. "You don't understand! Her methods are bringing worlds into compliance, but this compliance is filled with hatred. Those worlds will see the Imperium as nothing more than savages! Her methods of fear will lead to wars where the cause will be forgotten by both sides! I am asking you, not as a member of the Assassinorum, not as a citizen of the Imperium, but as her lover, tell her to at least calm down. Even if they are a necessary evil, she is close to stepping over the limits of what can be tolerated!"
She looked at him for any sign of agreement, but he only pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't you think I know? Don't you think I already know of her madness and brutality? I am already trying, every day that I spend with her, to help her with everything." The edge in his voice became more noticeable.
"Don't act like you care. Don't act like you care now. You don't even know the half of it. You don't see her as your sister; you see her as an animal that has to be trained! Admit it, you hate her."
She was surprised by his burst of anger but remained unshaken. "I don't. She needs to stop. I don't want her to end up in chains, and I don't think you want that either."
"And yet you don't help. She isn't evil; in fact, she has almost no hate in her heart for any of you. She even loves some of you. If you tried, you would find a woman with undying love and loyalty that can rival the Lioness."
"Regardless of her opinions and feelings towards us, her methods are all I care about now. I don't want her to end up disgraced, and I expect you to help with that."
"Have you tried to spend time with her? Have you talked about anything other than the crusade? Have you stepped down from that ivory siege tower of yours and tried to help with her madness? Have any of your sisters, barring Sanguinius, tried to do anything? No. You are disgusted by her. Vulkan damned her, Horus sees her as nothing but a weapon, and Fulgrim humors her. She doesn’t kill the innocent in her eyes. She only killed one, and she broke down. For days she cried into my lap about how she is destined to be a monster. When I was with her, only Sanguinius came to help, and some of the other Primarchs' lovers as well. If you cared, you would have come."
"I did. I noticed her absence and I wanted to kno—"
She was cut off again. "No, you didn't. You sent your lover my way. And that wasn’t even the most insulting part. That message you sent wasn’t a wellness check; it was a call to arms. Your lover even had to apologize for your apathy."
She was speechless, unable to retort or deny her actions that day. "I apologize for my behavior and on behalf of my sisters. I know it was inappropriate, but that is unimportant. If what you say is true, what can I do to help calm her madness?"
"If you want to help, try to be her sister. This whole conversation, you never referred to her as your sister once. If you want to help, Sanguinius and I have therapy every week. You and everyone else are free to join."
He got up, equipped his helmet and gear, and left. Dorn sat there with a hand on her forehead, contemplating the events that had transpired. If what he said was true and this was the only way, then it wouldn’t hurt to try. She got up, left the room, and went down the hall. She needed to remember to go to Sanguinius and ask when those meetings took place.

Basically i dislike Elaine's character because she reminds me of my Mother who was abusive to me.
My mother to others was very kind, kind of shy, always trying to please everyone, trying to help others, but to us she either neglected us or wherever she came, she taunted us or beat us.
Elaine's character reminds of her sm, how Elaine also never helped feyre(at one point Nesta was ready to sell her body but Elaine still didnt do anything) , but how now she talks to everyone kindly so everyone treats her better than Nesta. This kinda situation reminds me of my own home situation.
My (17)mom (45) got pregnant at 16 with my elder sister(29) and left her with my grandparents. 12 years later I was born so again she left me with my grandparents but they were too old to raise me so my sister raised me. The only person i associate with the word "Mom" is my sister
Others in my family treat my mom better and sympathize with her and keep trying to act rudely my sister because my sister doesn't try to pretend to be a nice person.
Because of this I can never enjoy reading elaine's character, how in ACOWAR nesta sat by Elaine for whole months but Elaine gave Nesta a whopping two weeks to heal before she came to judge her healing ?!? Yeah i couldn't come around to it.
And now I see everyone enjoying her character and making theories etc and I feel fomo😭😂
I feel like next books will focus a lot on her and want to love reading her character, someone help me love her because I love this series so much.

I recently broke up with my ex of 3 years because I felt like I was no longer getting along with him.
Within the last year of our relationship we got into the party scene which was fun but we got into drugs and alcohol. He struggled with alcoholism and mental health issues (bipolar and schizophrenia according to him) and I struggled with the drug use. He would always give me free cocaine and sell it to his friends I really wanted to stop but I couldn’t, he would always bring out and do coke in front of me. (Which is my my fault I need stronger will power)
Eventually it seemed the only times we were happy was when we were high or drunk. He sometimes wouldn’t get home until 7/8am in the morning during the weekends and we would basically waste our day inside sleeping. We also only saw each other on the weekends.
I really wanted to get him to stop because I wanted to get sober too. He would always say he would come home early but he would always stay out so late and I resented him for it.
Our arguments would always lead to each other trying to piss each other off and just this past weekend something clicked and I realized I didn’t want to be this person anymore. I felt like I was going down a bad path and not becoming the person I wanted to be I was unfair for being rude to him when he’s struggling with alcohol.
He texted me last night apologizing saying he loves me and is going to change but he’s said that so many times. I feel like maybe I made a mistake? I’ve given him many chances but I can’t continue being a “babysitter” in the relationship. Especially when he gets super drunk. But should I give him another chance? We’re both 23.
There were also some things that didn’t make sense in our relationship like

1. He said he had cancer then it changed to this other syndrome that was gonna apparently quickly kill him but nothing ever happened and it felt like he wasn’t telling the full story about something.
   
2. I loaned him 1000s of dollars in the beginning of the relationship and he said he wasn’t able to pay me back but he was able to buy lots of other expensive things and when he got mad at me he told me I’m never gonna see a dime of what I gave him.
   

3 I wasn’t a saint either tho. I would sometimes get so mad and say hurtful things too plus our relationship got physical at times.

I promise I’m not a terrible person. Hear me out.
My daughter is turning 2. She really doesn’t spend much time playing with toys. She prefers climbing, playing with her brothers, going outside.
If she does play with her toys, it’s the same few things. Any time she gets new toys, they just sit on her toy shelf until I notice they haven’t moved weeks later and put them in the toy box where they eventually get donated.
My apartment is incredibly small. I literally don’t have room for anymore toys and even if I donated what we have, we’ve outgrown this place, are moving soon, and it’s so cluttered that if I donate toys we cannot get more for the sake of my sanity and the kids having room to actually play.
I hate seeing people waste money. There’s just so many things people could get that she’d love so much more, like books or puzzles, or some activity to do with her brothers.
So, considering my kid is 2, has no interest in opening presents, doesn’t have any like shows or characters she’s really in to because we don’t watch a ton of TV, doesn’t even play with most of her toys, and I don’t have room, PLUS I feel terrible donating brand new stuff that people bought for her because I know they intended it for HER - I’d like to request for no or minimal toys at her party.
I have an Amazon wishlist with things at every price point - bath stuff (she loves baths!), a few outside toys, clothes, water bottles, a little chair (she’s obsessed with tiny toddler chairs lol) - lots of stuff. I also always tell anyone who asks her favorite activities and places to go so they can maybe do memberships or gift cards.
I’m even willing to just ask for no gifts at all. Or to maybe trim the party down to just immediate family - although, at the risk of offending extended family and friends who like to come.
Am I doomed to end up with a pile of toys? Is there really any good way to put it on the invite that we’re requesting no toys? Should I just ask for people to bring cards only?
(For the record, I do have older children and don’t limit toys at their party since they’re now old enough to actually open gifts and get excited about what they receive, plus have interests that I can share with people so they get stuff they really like, I just donate tons before their birthdays. We will be moved into a larger place before their birthdays so don’t worry, I’m not depriving any kiddo of any joy - and next birthday I’ll definitely be open to toys for my toddler with more space and hopefully more interest on her end).
I hope I’m not the only one to ever think about this. I’m so stressed, I don’t want to look ungrateful or rude but I’m trying to just do what’s best for all parties involved here, truly.

Renew your driving licence hassle-free with this ultimate guide. Learn the step-by-step process for renewal online / offline!
Table of Contents

• [Importance of Renewing Your Driving Licence]()
• [Documents Required for Online Driving Licence Renewal]()
• [Step-by-Step Guide to Renew Driving Licence Online]()
• [Fees for Online Driving Licence Renewal]()
• [Tracking Your Driving Licence Renewal Status]()
• [Offline Renewal Process]()
• [Renewing Learner’s Licence Online]()
• [Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)]()

Driving licence is an imperative, a must-have. It is a crucial necessity for all riders and drivers out there! And most importantly, it is a legal requirement. It is important to renew your licence online or offline, but on time. This will ensure that you can continue operating your loved vehicles legally and without any complications.
In the digital era that we are in now and here, the process of renewing your driving licence is a lot more convenient than it ever was, thanks to the introduction of online driving licence renewal services. In this comprehensive guide blog, we will walk you through the step by step process of how to renew your driving licence online (But then if you are someone who prefers a handshake over a hyperlink, we’ve got you covered too in our Renewal of Driving Licence Offline section!).
This Blog will be your one-stop to understand everything from the Documents required to answering your Frequently Asked Questions.

Importance of Renewing Your Driving Licence

A valid driving licence is your ticket to freedom on the roads. Renewing your driving licence is not a formality, but a legal obligation. That will ensure that you can continue to drive legally on Indian roads. Not renewing your licence could get you to some trouble. The consequences can range from hefty fines to even imprisonment in certain situations. It could also lead to the inability to claim insurance in case of an accident. However, on the other hand, a valid driving licence provides some extra benefits. It serves as a proof of identity, or proof of your address making it a crucial document for various official purposes. Renewing driving licence in India is a breeze. Don’t let a simple task turn into a major headache. Get the renewal of your driving licence done either online or offline, it is simple.

Documents Required for Online Driving Licence Renewal

Before getting started on the renewal of driving licence online, do ensure to have the following documents ready:

• Your existing driving licence
• Form 1 (self-declaration of physical fitness)
• Form 1A (medical certificate, if applicable)
• Form 2 (driving licence renewal form)
• Proof of age and address (Aadhaar card, passport, birth certificate, etc.)
• Two recent passport-size photographs
• Vehicle fitness certificate (only for commercial vehicle licence renewal)

The applicable documents have to be uploaded during the process of application for renewal of driving licence online. Hence, it is important to have digital copies or scanned versions of these documents readily available with you.

Step-by-Step Guide to Renew Driving Licence Online

As we discussed earlier, the renewal of driving licence online is an easy task, it’s almost a breeze. Follow the following simple steps to renew your driving licence online:

• Step 1: Visit the Parivahan Sewa website and navigate to the “Driving Licence Related Services” section under “Online Services.” Ensure that you are in the right authorized website, i.e., the official website of Ministry of Road Transport & Highways, meant for the renewal of driving licence.
  
• Step 2: Select your state from the drop-down menu and click on “Apply for DL Renewal.”
  
• Step 3: Click “Continue” and enter your driving licence number, date of birth, and the captcha code. Then, click “Get DL Details.”
  
• Step 4: Verify your details and click “Yes” to proceed. Select “Submit Request” and choose your state again.
  
• Step 5: Select your RTO (Regional Transport Office). If you choose a different RTO, you’ll need to apply for a change of address and pay an additional fee.
  
• Step 6: Select “Renewal of DL” and fill out the online application form. Upload soft copies of the required documents.
  
• Step 7: Pay the applicable fees online using various payment methods such as credit/debit card, net banking, or digital wallets. Download the payment receipt for future reference. Keep the Payment receipt safe, either in a screenshot form or a pdf form, for safety purposes.
  
• Step 8: Once your documents are verified, voila, you will receive your renewed driving licence via post at your registered address within 15 working days.
  

Didn’t we tell you that it is a simple task! Renewing your license online is fast, easy, and saves you a trip. Your renewal process happens at the comfort of your couch.

Fees for Online Driving Licence Renewal

The driving licence renewal fee would vary based on the type of licence, the duration of the renewal process, i.e., it depends on how much you have delayed to renew; it also depends on the mode of renewal (smart card or a booklet). The breakdown of the fees for the renewal of driving licence are provided here below:

• Driving Licence Renewal: Rs. 200
• Driving Licence Renewal (after the grace period of 30 days): Rs. 300
• Additional fees per year (for delay in renewal): Rs. 1,000
• Additional fees for renewal in smart card format: Rs. 200

If you are someone looking to renew your Driving Licence for Heavy Vehicles, the fee for application of heavy licence is Rs.1000. However, for passenger and heavy cargo vehicles, the Fee is Rs.1500.
Just a gentle heads up! Please note that these fees are subject to change and it may vary slightly across different States or Union territories, across the Country. It may not greatly vary from each other, but it is advised to check before making the payment.

Tracking Your Driving Licence Renewal Status

If the application process for your driving licence was a breeze, the tracking is as easy as it gets. It is a smooth sail! The following steps help you track the status of your application of renewal of driving licence:
Step 1: Visit the Parivahan Sewa website and navigate to the “Vehicle Related Services” menu under the “Online Services” tab.
Step 2: Select the “Application Status” option and enter your application number, date of birth, and the captcha code.
Step 3: Click “Submit” to view the current status of your application.
This convenient feature allows you to stay updated on the progress of your renewal application, ensuring transparency and convenience throughout the process. Thanks to Digital India initiatives, the status updates are also frequently forwarded via SMS.

Offline Renewal Process

If you are someone who is delightfully analogue, or if you get to face any technical challenges with the online process, you can always resort to the driving licence renewal process by visiting your nearest Regional Transport Office (RTO). The following steps delineate the offline process of renewing your driving licence:
Step 1: Obtain the driving licence renewal form (Form 9) from the RTO office or download it from the official website.
Step 2: Fill out the application form and gather all the required documents as mentioned below:

• Your existing driving licence
• Form 1 (self-declaration of physical fitness)
• Form 1A (medical certificate, if applicable)
• Form 2 (driving licence renewal form)
• Proof of age and address (Aadhaar card, passport, birth certificate, etc.)
• Two recent passport-size photographs
• Vehicle fitness certificate (only for commercial vehicle licence renewal)

Step 3: Visit the RTO and submit the duly filled application form along with the relevant documents. Remember, you have to hold hard-copies of relevant documents to submit at the RTO.
Step 4: Pay the applicable fees at the fee collection counter and collect the acknowledgment receipt. Depending on the RTO, it seems many places have UPI interface to pay. This depends and varies from location to location, hence it is advised to carry currency in hand.
Step 5: Your renewed driving licence will be mailed to your registered address once the document verification process is complete.
Visiting RTO for Offline Driving Licence renewal could sound overwhelming, which is not the case. However, in case you would like further assistance, you can seek help from your nearest driving school or an agent.

Renewing Learner’s Licence Online

Learner’s licence allows to practice Driving legally, to practice driving on public roads under specific conditions. This is significant to gain the necessary experience and skills before taking the test for a valid permanent driver’s license. Learner’s licence is a permit to demonstrate that you are authorized to learn how to drive. Remember, Driving without learner’s licence, though you are just learning, is still illegal.
If you are someone who is looking to obtain learner’s licence for the first time, applying for learner’s licence could be done online too. Visit the relevant website, select concerned state and click on “Application for New Learners License” from “Learner’s License” menu. Fill up the form. Since this is a new application for learner’s licence, you are required to visit RTO on scheduled date with original documents & fee slip. The fee for issue of learner’s licence for each class of vehicle is Rs.150.
There may be situations in which one holds a learner’s licence, and it has expired. You can renew learner’s licence online too. Follow the simple steps as detailed below:
Step 1: Visit the Parivahan Sewa website and select “Driving Licence Services” from the “Online Services” menu.
Step 2: Choose your state of residence and click on the “Expired Learner Licence Issue Again” option under the “Learner Licence” section.
Step 3: Enter your expired learner’s licence number and date of birth, then click “Submit.”
Step 4: Pay the applicable fees for the issuance of a new learner’s licence.
Once the process is complete, you will receive your renewed learner’s licence.
You are provided with a permanent valid driving licence after you appear and clear the driving test.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: Can I renew my driving licence after it has expired? A: Yes, you can renew your driving licence even after it has expired. However, if the expiration date is more than five years old, you will have to apply as if you apply for a new licence and undergo all the necessary formalities.
Q: What are the penalties if caught riding or driving without a valid Driving licence? A: The fine for driving without a valid driving licence can be anywhere from Rs.1000 to Rs.5000, depending on the state and the type of vehicle you are driving. In some cases, imprisonment is also possible for a period up to 3 months. Apart from the above, it is possible that your vehicle could be seized until you can produce a valid licence. Repeated offences may lead to disqualification from obtaining a licence for a certain period.
Q: Do I need to undergo a driving test for renewal? A: Generally, no driving test is required for renewing your driving licence. However, if you are over 50 years old, and if you’re applying for a commercial vehicle licence, or have certain medical conditions, you may need to appear for a driving test.
Q: Can I make changes to my driving licence during renewal? A: Yes, you can make changes to your driving licence, such as address or personal details, during the renewal process. You will need to provide additional documentation for the changes and fill out the appropriate forms.
Q: How long is a driving licence valid? A: A driving licence in India is typically valid for 20 years from the date of issuance or until the holder turns 50, whichever comes first. For commercial vehicle licences, the validity period is 5 years. Also, it is pertinent to mention that once the driver crosses the age 50, the renewed licence is valid for 5 years, and the application of renewal of driving licence must be submitted, closer to the date of expiry.
Q: Can I renew my driving licence online if I obtained it from another state? A: Yes, you can renew your driving licence online, even if it was initially obtained from another state. However, you’ll need to provide a No Objection Certificate (NOC) from the original licensing authority. While this is the most common practice, the rules may vary from state to state, it is important to check with the local authorities for specific regulations.
Q: What if I don’t renew my driving licence on time? A: If you fail to renew your driving licence within the grace period of 30 days after expiration, you’ll need to pay an additional fee of Rs. 300. Additionally, driving with an expired licence can lead to penalties, fines, or even legal consequences.
Q: Can I schedule an appointment for driving licence renewal? A: Yes, most states in India allow you to schedule an appointment for driving licence services, including renewal, through the Parivahan Sewa website. This helps avoid long queues and waiting times at the RTO offices. This is only when you would like to renew your driving licence offline. By following the steps in Section-3 of this Blog, you can easily renew your driving licence online.
Q: How can I update my address on my driving licence? A: To update your address on your driving licence, you’ll need to fill out Form 33 and submit it along with the required documents, such as proof of new address, to the RTO during the renewal process.
Renewing driving licence online is a convenient and time saving process, which ensures that you complete the formalities and even receive your renewed driving licence, all at the comfort of your couch. Renewing your driving licence is an essential requirement. It will ensure that you remain compliant the Rules and regulations of the Government and it permits you to operate your vehicles legally on Indian roads. By following the guide detailed in this blog post, we are sure that you will have a smooth process of renewing your driving license online.

I’m in this friendship where we met through a mutual ex friend and we realized she was talking about us behind our backs. I suppose you could call it a trauma bond friendship. We were more alike we connected instantly and we walked away from an unhealthy friendship. She tells me I’m her only female friend and she only is friends with men (that she friendzones)4
Fast forward a month she starts dating a guy and was between this guy and an ex and I was like this guy seems really nice and is going places and I was trying to reason with her. As I’m leaving I see the guy she likes looks troubled and I said hey you’re a really nice guy and regardless of what happens you’re awesome. She was happy initially with our interaction and thanked me.
She calls me later angry that I shared some kind words to her bf and my perspective and twisted the narrative that I was into her man and I’m like ???? no I’m not I live with my partner who I love dearly and I’m not attracted to her guy in the slightest. She kept giving me the run around and I’m like look I am busy I don’t have time for this. She gets angry and cuts me off for like a week or two. She comes back after they break up and starts talking about how she’s back with her ex.
Later she inquired about guy advice and at this point I’m no longer comfortable because of the last interaction around guys. She’s like say something even our ex friend was good at giving advice. which hurt me ofc so I attempt advice and ever since then she’s always called me about guy advice.
One of the things in my previous friendship I didn’t like was constantly having men as a focal point in the friendship and topic of conversation. With this friend What started as mild venting turned into hours long talks and spirals and how to send a text to a guy and what to say. I don’t have a lot of time to myself and it starts getting in the way of my partner and my time together because im always on the phone with her or tending to her needs.
Something about her is she’s always talking to someone new and can’t figure out what she wants. She also is validated constantly on her beauty and she uses that as a way to justify she will find someone either way. While she’s talking to this guy she has another in the side that says things like when we linkin and acts like a fckboi and I’m like girl he’s only lookin for one thing. She says I have a lot of guys who want to date me that’s so rude I have guys saying they want to marry me and after 20 minutes of arguing I walk it back and rephrase to calm her down. We don’t talk until she needs something again.
She assumes this guy is autistic because of something a old school mate said about him(while school mate is trying to talk to her) I said take it with a grain of salt .
Then it came to a head the other day where I was having a relationship issue and she was surprisingly helpful and she calls me later saying the guy she’s talking to doesn’t want her in his life and I said he’s got a lot in his family life and I said I’d be upset too and she said well he’s autistic so I can’t be too mad . I said autism doesn’t excuse bad behavior if that’s the case. And she flips it around on me and says I can’t get mad at him because my therapist said x y z and I said no you don’t have to be an ass to him but you can still feel upset that he said something hurtful because it’s not healthy to deny your feelings. We kind of awkwardly hang up and she sends me a passive aggressive text. Today she sent 2 needling me and saying I’m projecting my relationship issues onto her relationship.
She often gets upset with the way I handle our conflict in these arguments we go back and forth so much I get louder so I can be heard . the entire time she says why are you yelling. Why can’t you have a normal conversation without yelling .I’m getting emotional because my words are getting flipped and I’ll pause to rethink what I said and she’ll question if I’m actually listening and point out things that I said and I’m like …did I say that? Every single argument.
Am I being too sensitive ? Am I overthinking it? Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a separate reality from her.Regardless I don’t know if a relationship like this is sustainable for me. I feel like I walk on eggshells and this is the only friendship I experience this dynamic. I could really use some next steps. Apology for how long this is . I really wanted to flesh out the dynamics from my perspective.

(Long post please read everything) Around like 5 years ago I started working at this fast food place and when I went to the job interview, I had to wait at the front for like 5 minutes and I remember there was this guy that worked there that I thought was hot, while I was waiting at the front I noticed he kept looking/staring at me and making eye contact the whole time. He would look at me, then maybe look away to do something else but then kept looking back at me with eye contact. I noticed him even looking at me during my interview. I remember thinking wow, ok that he definitely had some interest because of him doing that.
When I first started working there and we had the same shifts, he wasn’t staring or looking at me anymore. I didn’t really think anything of it.
At the time I was going to community college and took the bus there every day. I was taking the bus one morning and a few stops later I see him get on and sit down and I remember thinking wow this is weird I had no idea he also goes to the same community college and also takes the same bus? And just thinking how weird it was. Just initially he didn’t notice me or sit by me. Then something really weird happened, halfway through the ride the bus got into an accident and hit a car on the side while switching lanes and it had to pull over and everyone had to get off and walk to the next bus stop and wait for the next bus to come. Something like that’s never happened before, super weird. So everyone was walking to the next stop and I remember I wasn’t expecting him to say anything to me at all and I kind of forgot about it and wasn’t paying attention to him just walking.
Then someone behind me taps me on the shoulder and I look and it’s him and he just says hi and is smiling and asked like “hey do you work at (the job)” or something then he just starts talking to me I think we just talked about work or something but everything seemed fine. He was talking to me like he was interested in me, like friendly he would just make conversation and ask me about work I don’t even remember what else he would talk about. I would get kind of nervous/ my mind would go blank around him because I liked him and I was just happy he was always talking to me. I remember I would sometimes see him when taking the bus to school. But the thing is literally every time we would both be on the bus he would always go out of his way to come and sit by me and talk to me. So I also thought obviously that must have meant he was interested in me because why else would he have done that? To me if he wasn’t interested (not even a little) he would’ve just ignored me on the bus and never sat by me or talked to me. When he would talk to me, his body would just be facing straight forward but he would be looking at me the whole time talking to me. Sometimes he would sit with a very open body, while sitting next to me or talking to me. I also remember him telling me one day how him and a couple of the other shift leaders/ managers would hang out outside of work at one of their houses and play video games. I also remember him telling me that he went to a concert with one of the managers at work, like they went there together and hung out there.
Also around this time I found his Instagram and just followed him and didn’t say anything. He followed me back right after and never mentioned it or acted like it was weird I did that.
He would always talk to me on the bus, but whenever we were at work together I would never see him looking at me and he usually would never talk to me like during the time we were working. He would act different at work I don’t know why. I think a few times I saw him at work before clocking in and I would say hi and he would seem relaxed and talk to me/ be the same as on the bus but that’s it.
I would do this thing during our shift where if it got slow/ empty for a moment I would go over to his area (the grill which was right next to the drive through window) and I would say hi to him or just start talking to him. Also I noticed almost everyone else that worked there would do the same thing with each other all the time so I wasn’t the only one doing this. Sometimes I would get kind of giddy and start laughing a lot (not on purpose it would just happen) he would respond to me, he wouldn’t act rude but not be super talkative. Then one day when I went over and talked to him, this one shift leade manager who was in her 40s and always really rude/ nasty saw me doing that and very loudly was like “uh uh, I don’t think so! that’s fraternizing at work! He has a girlfriend you know that right?” And I got embarrassed as soon as she said that and she was like “yeah that’s right!” I went back in my area and they said something to each other I didn’t hear what but it was a few words back and forth, and ended in the manager kind of making this face and laughing and he just sort of shrugged and was kind of smiling. I have no idea what they said I couldn’t hear. Then they just went back to working and acted normal for the rest of my shift then I left.
Then after that day when I came in to work, he started to completely ignore me and act very cold and completely different. I went up to him at work and tried saying hi to him and he literally just completely ignored me. At first I wasn’t sure if he heard me or not, but he had to have because everyone else around him heard me and was looking at me. I think later in the shift I tried saying something to him again and he still completely ignored me. Also whenever he did this the other guys working in the same area as him were watching and would start laughing but more like lowkey not like super loud and obnoxious. I had no idea why he was doing this I remember being very upset and humiliated.
After that day he started doing this every day and ignoring me, every day I saw him at work he was super cold about it. This continued for the rest of the time I worked there and he never spoke to me again. Total 180 and it was just super out of the blue too. I’ve thought maybe it was because of that one manager that said “he has a girlfriend” but they said something to each other then just kind of laughed and didn’t say anything else after that so I don’t know if that was the reason for this.
About a month after this started, I went in the employee handbook and found his phone number and texted him… I know now this is weird and I shouldn’t have done this but at the time I was really upset and desperate and didn’t think it would be a big deal. I just kind of did it. I just said hi or something but I also said it was me in the text. I did not say anything inappropriate or crazy.
He never responded but the next time I came into work, one of the shift leaders/ managers (the same one that he was friends with and said he hung out with) said he needed to have a talk with me. He pulled me aside and we went into the break room, he said he told everyone to not come down there. He told me that the guy “told a manager” that I texted him and that’s why we were having this talk. He said that most of the managers/ other coworkers know about this situation now and he told me that this guy said he doesn’t know what’s going on between us but he doesn’t like it and wants it to stop. He said that the main manager doesn’t know about this yet and that hes stopping this now so she doesn’t find out, and if she finds out me and the guy would probably get fired. He also told me that if I try talking that guy again, that the guy was going to tell me to stop and he was NOT going to be nice about it. So I better just back off to save myself. Which I remember thinking was so odd because when I talked to him he did not seem like this asshole jerky guy at all so it was bizarre that the manager was saying this and that all of a sudden he literally hated me? And this behavior from him happened just out of the blue with seemingly no trigger so the whole situation was just so weird. During this talk the manager also told me that it was NOT OK that I was going up to him during shifts and talking to him and that it was fraternizing at work and we could both get fired. Then I told him that I saw literally most of the people that worked there talking to each other during shifts, other guys and girls doing it too so why was it not a problem when they did it but a huge problem only when I did it…. I don’t remember exactly what he said but I think he told me that doesn’t happen and that I was remembering wrong. He also said that you are not supposed to talk to coworkers at all outside of work. Which I told him how that guy told me about how they hung out outside of work at one of their houses to play video games and also went together to a concert. He told me that they didn’t hang out together at the concert that they just both happened to be there with their own friends, they unknowingly ran into each other, said hi then went their separate ways. I didn’t remember exactly what that guy told me but I’m pretty sure he said they went to that show together. He also told me to never speak to that guy again, he said don’t look at him, don’t talk to him, don’t talk about him, just act like he doesn’t even exist and just come in, do your job and leave. He told me he was going to bring him in right after me and tell him the same thing.
After that talk I felt totally horrible. I felt like I was a total creep or something like I made someone so uncomfortable like he/ everyone thought I was a creep. I obviously never texted him or tried talking to him again at all after this. The next time I came into work everyone got really quiet when I walked in and everyone was staring at me… I specifically noticed this one girl who was a shift leader. She never stared at me or acted like she even noticed me before but this day as soon as I came in she just was really quiet and stood there and stared at me for like a good 5-10 minutes just looking me up and down. She would look away and do something but kept coming back to look at me. It was very uncomfortable and I felt ashamed and embarrassed after that and started to feel bitter about not having him in my life anymore and not having friends or possible love interest.
Then I noticed they kept scheduling me and him to work at the same time in the morning, and this same girl shift leader was the shift lead that worked every morning when we would come in. He obviously was still ignoring me but I noticed that during his breaks, he would go over to her and talk to her for the whole time but both of their body language was like heavy flirting. He would be standing very close to her and he would always be leaning on the counter but also leaning towards her at the same time. And he would have his hand/arm on the counter resting almost around her. She would mirror his body language minus the arm. While they were doing this she would also do this thing where every couple minutes or so she would turn around, look at me and hold eye contact for a few seconds while smiling, then look back at him and continue talking. He never looked at me again, and wouldn’t even come near me again. After they were done talking she would come over to my drive through area, make a drink then walk back and give it to him.
They would do this literally every day I worked with them which was only once a week then because I started going to a new school. I even remember after that talk with the manager he would talk with this other girl (and that one shift lead) he was friends with there, the same way the manager told ME was NOT ok to do, in front of everyone even managers literally no one ever said a word to them about it. Literally no one cared when they did it, but it was a huge issue when I did it. A couple of other kids even started dating a little bit after this and I would even see them kissing in the back and no one ever said a word to them about anything. I ended up quitting a couple months later because I was so upset about the whole situation.

Yes you read the title right.
I am 20 year old male who is currently going through a phase of a an empty feeling of void and are alone since I have been mistreated and bullied enough times throughout my life to eventually value my peace and enjoy being alone since I am a very sensitive and emotional person, I can get easily angry at the slightest things and even cry if someone makes me feel worthless enough and my family did a couple times and I was tired of coming always home to arguments so I left to live alone.
I have never been in a romantic relationship before or had any experience at all and upon trying numerous ways of seeking a partner, I just were never successful in landing anything, no dates wether online or physically, just zero so I gave up which made me go into a personal choice of having to learn to enjoy my own company and prepare myself to be happy alone for the rest of my life since I am never falling in love and do feel quite happy when I'm alone at most times, not being bothered by rude, annoying people or even worse, people who make you feel lonely while you're around them, being someone who has struggled with friendships and never had any real friends, I pick up on tons of stuff and can easily study people so I know when things go wrong and I can recall that more than half of the people I were friends with or so I thought, weren't really friends and I am just a worthless person who doesn't deserve anything but there are much worse problems going on in the world that it is better to feel grateful for my good health.
I don't wanna feel lonely while trying to be happy alone or go insane, that's all I'm saying.
How can I make being alone feel less scary and accept being alone for the rest of my life without losing my mind.
Because at least I am not being yelled at for being useless or some crazy kind of shit that people like family, school teachers or job managers usually like to call me since I also suffer from mental health/learning difficulties a lot so no matter how hard to you try, people will never understand you or even care once because they would never know what it feels like, they don't know the pain and silent suffering, inside me there this very cold hearted guy who despises life.

Please don’t comment unless u read the whole thing. I am a huge overthinker and have relationship anxiety, but I also think I can be a better spouse. I am newly married. I will admit me and my husband had a lot of unhealthy toxic fights in the past. Now that we are married, I’m starting to worry because we argue a lot. And I will admit I have not been the best to deal with and I feel really bad about how much I’ve stressed him due to my lack of awareness and difficulty to control my emotions and stubbornness. I am taking a step back and trying to be more aware of our arguments. I’m trying to be understanding when he feels tired and trying to let things go more. Stopped bothering him about an issue we had and accepted “no” as an answer and just “hid” my feelings about the subject. Not in an unhealthy way, I told him I will be upset and disappointed about things but I will not make it a big deal everytime. I care about how he feels about me so I started journaling my days since our first month has been rough. I just need to understand what exactly is considered “unhealthy” or “toxic” relationship . Im just concerned because it seems like we argue everyday, but i think it depends on the definition of “argue”. I would say we argue everyday if the definition means just any kind of arguing or bickering.
Now we have regular bickering where we get annoyed at each other but that’s not really serious it’s just like “I told you to put the towel there can you please to that” or just discussing how we feel. Sometimes voices get raised but no screaming (unless it’s an emergency like if they were doing something dangerous) and no name calling but might unintentionally say or do something rude without realizing it was rude. Or sometimes minor arguments but we move on within 10 minutes or an hour max sometimes I may be bothered at something he does and I feel annoyed at him until we have time o talk it out.
Sometimes we have arguments may feel “big” just because I am sensitive. For example, I’ll get sad because he was too tired to spend time with me or he may come off as harsh or rude without realizing so I show how I’m sad and if he’s in a good mood he’ll be understanding and be sweet but sometimes becomes mean instead of comforting me which causes me to cry and leave him alone. He usually apologizes for this same day or next day when he has time to focus on me and isn’t rushed. I do wanna try and solve this by explaining how he can be firm but kind at the same time. And I’m trying better to understand that he just needs space sometimes and just try to handle my sensitive emotions.
^ ^ ^so those may happen a lot, honestly even everyday because I feel like that’s normal bickering, small arguments, being sensitive as a woman. I would assume that is normal.
Now for the more serious kind of “arguments”
Sometimes the argument can be a bit mean and we may say things we regret but really quickly we apologize again within the hour. we don’t stay angry for days or anything. no actual name calling, but hurtful things. However I’m trying to be extremely aware of this and having up avoid it. Intentionally hurting the other person is something I will avoid. For example, “you disgust me because of how selfish you are” or “you’re an embarrassment of a man/woman” impulsively but apologize fast
^ ^ ^ this is something we will avoid but I feel that it could happen maybe a few times a month but wouldn’t last more than a day. Especially when one of us is stressed.
As far as MAJOR arguments (like screaming, completely disrespectful, name calling) major arguments that have a massive impact, this is something I’m trying to avoid at all costs. If it happens it would be extremely rare. We have had these before, but I’m being extremely aware to avoid this.
I know from the outside this seems horrible but I’m just being realistic. We LOVE each other. We care about each other and we are kind to each other. We have a lot of good times and moments we enjoy each others company and I would say since I started journaling the last 3 days we definitely have more good times than arguments especially with me being more aware. I said something mean due to his attitude, but apologized after 5 minutes whereas the old me would have stayed mad or gotten more angry. And last night he upset me because he was in a hurry and didn’t kiss me before he left and was acting a bit rude because he was in a rush so it made me sad until he came back after work to apologize. Obviously harmless bickers here and there. But the rest of the time we’re great and happy with each other. I’m going to continue journaling
The reason I’m worried is because we have had a lot of toxicity in the past due to long distance and this being both of our first relationship. Both of us have been very toxic. I just wanna try and help us have a relatively healthy relationship and I think this can be achieved because we both love each other and can communicate better now that we live with each other and because I am willing to be more aware and am trying to be less stubborn and more patient.
Should I be concerned or does it seem like we can make this work? Again, I am a huge overthinker so please bear with me. I’m journaling because it helps me piece together what to improve because we can definitely improve on something’s

My daughter is 7. She is funny and witty and smart. However, she is a “highly sensitive child” and emotional.
I always dreamed of becoming a mom. I adored babies and children. When she was born I finally felt complete. I was 34 and felt like it was perfect timing.
However, the last 6 months have been hell. Today I realized I am hating being a mom. One minute she is laughing and saying I am the “best mom in the world” and the next she is calling herself dumb and yelling at me to just “donate” her to to a new family. To be fair, she yells those things when she is emotional or in trouble.
She has become a negative Nelly. Every thing we do has something wrong with it. We’re going to Peter Piper Pizza and she is mad because it isn’t chick fil a. We’re at Peter Piper and she is bored because she played all the games.
She’s unhappy if she gets to ride her bike and her friends aren’t outside. Unhappy with meals that I cook.
I cannot win with her. She is never satisfied. Spouse and I have been cracking down on doing anything extra for her because she is ungrateful for everything. This is hard for me because I always want to do nice things for her.
I am miserable every day. She speaks to me with an attitude and is rude half the time. She doesn’t listen.
We have her in counseling to deal with her emotions better, but the daily battles with me digging my heels in are draining the fucking life out of me. I’m in counseling as well and I’m just struggling.
I don’t know if I’m alone in this so I would love some commiseration or suggestions on how to make me accept this stage and be happy. When your child is unhappy, you aren’t happy.
TLDR: 7 year old always negative and unhappy, no matter what I do, help me please.

Backstory, I (29f) and husband (24m) got married 2 years ago. He is from Colombia and I am from here. I have never met his family only through FaceTime. Prior to the wedding she would always be nice to me and check up on me. Between her and I we were finding a way for her to be able to come for the wedding but it did not happen. After that I noticed a change in her. She did not text me weeks before the wedding and not even on my wedding day. Instead, she decided to ruin my wedding by inviting people we did not have on our list be part of my wedding party. She also wanted them to play a video of her crying about how much she loves her son. She only speaks Spanish so no one would even know what the hell she was saying. When my husband found out he was upset the day of the wedding he did not tell me until we got home later that night. After that she never spoke to me.
I got pregnant a few months later and now have my baby. She never checked up on me during my intimate pregnancy. When the baby was born she would non stop call me and text me day and night. I was basically doing everything alone since my husband worked from 2am to 5pm and would come home take a shower eat and sleep by 7pm. I told my husband and he said just ignore he which I did. (Not to mention my c section had complications and I could barely even walk for 2 weeks).
3 months later a huge package arrives at my door and ups is requesting money for the package which she never does. Inside the package was jewelry for me and stuff for my husband and baby. Well, one night I was looking at her Instagram and saw she was following my husbands ex which is no big deal but I found out she owns a jewelry store. All the jewelry she bought for me came from her store. I was livid that she has the audacity to send me stuff from his ex. I threw everything that was in the box in the garbage that same night. I told my husband and he said it was no big deal he didn’t want to start drama with her.
I haven’t heard from her in a while except on Mother’s Day. I did not text her because her and I do not have a relationship at all. She text me some gifs and said happy Mother’s Day. It was 10pm at this point and I was busy getting my household chores done. I then noticed that 20 minutes went by and she sent another text saying thank you for today. I don’t know if it is because I did not call or text her with her grandchild and my husband did not call her with her grandchild as well. All I know is that the comment seemed rude. My husband said it was not though.
My husband and I have been arguing about her and it seems to never end he is always on her side and defending her and not sticking up for me when she does things. Would I be the asshole if I told her off and said why I’m ignoring her and that her comment on Mother’s Day was not necessary. I mean I don’t let my child interact with her through FaceTime because all she does is curse at him like saying oh your so fucking big, you so fucking fat and stuff. So am I also the ass hole for not letting her see my child? Would I be the asshole if I finally stick up for myself since my husband is not?

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/SisterGroundedThrway She posted in AmItheAsshole
Mood Spoiler: hopeful ending
Original Post: April 29, 2024
I (25F) live in a three bedroom apartment with my fiancé (27M). We have a six month old son.
My younger sister Mia (fake name; 20F) recently started attending a university that's closer to where I live than both my parents' places. Because she needs to get to class early in the morning, my fiancé and I allowed her to move into our spare bedroom. She's been living with us since January.
There's a set of rules I've been having Mia follow since she moved in, mostly to make sure everyone can live peacefully. One of the most important rules concerns arriving after my son's bedtime (usually between 19h and 20h). Mia is allowed to come home however late she wants, as long as she doesn't make too much noise.
The door to the apartment has an electronic keypad lock, and the one we use also has a normal lock under it. Everyone has a copy of the key, but we all prefer typing in the password. However, the keypad is very noisy, and my son's nursery isn't far from the door. Every time the keypad is used after I've put the baby to sleep, he wakes up.
So naturally, the rule about getting home late includes not using the keypad. Everyone, including Mia, has known about this since day one.
At first, we had no problems. But now that Mia has gotten used to college life, she's been going out at night frequently. This past month, she has arrived home after midnight every Friday and Saturday night. She always forgets the "don't make too much noise" rule, and she has, on multiple occasions, used the keypad. My son wakes up crying every. Damn. Time.
I'd sit her down and remind her of the rule whenever this happened, but she'd continue to do it. My fiancé and I got tired of putting our baby back to sleep because of that, so I changed the password and told Mia she was no longer allowed to use the keypad. She agreed, and promised to try to make less noise.
On Friday night this week, Mia went out with her friends. She came home very drunk at 4AM, and forgot that I'd changed the password. Not only did she use the keypad, she also got the password wrong so many times that she triggered an alarm.
I was furious. Not only did my baby wake up crying, but I also got complaints from my neighbors.
The next morning, I told Mia that I'm establishing a curfew: while living with me, she needs to be home by 20h. She won't be allowed to go out at night for the rest of the semester.
Mia put up a fight, saying I have no right to "ground" her (EDIT: I never used that word) like this or dictate what she does with her free time, but I held my ground. I told her she'll be free to do as she pleases when she has her own place and raises her own family. While living with mine, she has to do as I say.
She told our parents about this. Our mother and stepfather are both on my side; our father is on Mia's. He's saying I'm not her mother, and I have no right to treat her like a child. He also thinks it's unfair to do this to her over a drunken mistake.
AITA?
EDIT: No, I can't mute the keypad.
Relevant Comments:
OOP clarifies:

She is living here for free, but only for now. The deal is for her to start paying a small portion of rent once she gets a job.

Commenter: What if she never gets a job or takes months? What if she gets a job but doesn't tell you because she prefers freeloading?

OOP: If the latter happens, I will find out. She tells our mother everything, and my mom would tell me. I know my family.
But honestly, I don't need her to pay me right now. My father still gives her some money for personal expenses, so I'm not spending too much on her.

Commenter: I'm having genuine trouble how unlocking multiple locks and jangling keys into a door is quieter than a keypad (excluding the alarm) and also wouldn't wake the baby up.

OOP: It's only one lock. It's not noiseless, but it's quiet enough that it doesn't wake the baby.
The keypad makes very loud noises every time something is typed in, as well as another one once the door is open.
OOP (different comment addressing how loud it is): Very. It makes noises whenever something is typed in, as well as another one once the door has been unlocked. And she's not just quietly typing in the password, she's being loud besides that (slamming the door, knocking stuff over, etc.).

Commenter: I believe some electronic locks have a silent function. At least my alarm system's keypad does. Although I'm not so sure. I don't have electronic doorlocks, which is why I asked the question in the first place.

OOP: The one we use doesn't have a silent function.

Commenter: Just curious, is it possible to move your nursery to a different room that is further from the door? Not saying that you have to or anything, just wondering if it is a possibility would it help at all. You are definitely NTA though.
Also have you thought about saying she can go out later, but can't come home between 8pm and 6am? Basically she can go out, but has to crash elsewhere?

OOP: A lot of people are asking this, so let me explain why this is not an option.
Technically, it is possible. But moving my son from the nursery that I lovingly prepared while pregnant to the room my sister has been messing up since January would require time, effort and patience, none of which I'd have for this situation. I have a baby and a job, as does my fiancé, and I'm 99.9% sure my sister wouldn't help us. I'm making enough efforts as it is, and I refuse to do something like this when she can easily just use her key.
As for crashing somewhere else, I have suggested it before. There's always a reason why she can't do it.

Commenter: NTA and you've given her way more chances than I would have.
I would tell her that if she wakes the baby up one more time, she's out. I can't imagine how annoyed your husband must be that you keep letting your adult sister act like an entitled 16-year-old.

OOP: My fiancé is actually the reason I've been giving her this many chances. A big reason why I'm establishing the curfew now is because the situation has gotten bad enough that even he's sick of it.

Commenter: Well that's good that he hasn't been at his wits end as long as you. I would flip my lid if my husband let his sisters do this so I was coming at it from that perspective.

OOP: Understandable, really.
He's a younger sibling, so he tends to be more patient with her (especially now that we're all living together). He always agreed that she was being rude, but didn't want us to fight over it. Changing the password was his idea.

Commenter: Have you considered making her get the baby back to sleep? (not if she's drunk of course) Perhaps she would then understand the problem better.

OOP: The problem is that she usually is drunk, so there aren't many opportunities for her to help.

Commenter (downvoted): Yeah. And I'm not sure if women like OP understand this but babies can and should get used to people making normal sounds when living in a household. She probably is entitled and expects everyone else to cater around her baby.

OOP: I'm not sure I appreciate the "women like OP" comment there, but my son is used to normal sounds. The door beeping loudly at 4 in the morning is not a normal sound.
No, I don't expect everyone else to cater to my baby, but I do expect those sharing a space with him to let him sleep. It's not hard to use the normal key.

Commenter: The school year is probably just about done though, right? Maybe she should live with friends for next academic year.

OOP: We don't live in the US. The school year started in February.

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 10, 2024
Before I start this update, I want to recommend reading my comments on my previous post. There were many questions that I was able to answer there.
It's very hard to explain my relationship with my younger sister in proper detail, but I will say that, while I love her dearly, Mia has always been a very inconsiderate person.
I have countless examples. She almost didn't attend our cousin's wedding last year because she didn't want to walk to the venue (which was two blocks away from our mom's place). We shared a bathroom when we were younger, and she'd insist on having the top drawers because she "didn't want to crouch down", but she was cool with me doing so. She slept through my college graduation, and didn't apologize for it.
I'm bringing this up now because whenever I asked Mia why she kept forgetting to use her key, her excuse was that looking through her bag took too long and the keypad was quicker. In her head, bothering other people is better than slightly inconveniencing herself.
After I established the curfew, Mia tried different ways to make me change my mind. She'd talk about not being able to cancel her tickets for Party X, or about the fun her friends had at Party Y. She'd show me her "developing" LinkedIn profile, and tell me she had learned her lesson and would be more responsible.
At first, I really didn't want to have to kick her out (which many of you suggested), but I have limits. A few days ago, I heard her complaining to her friends on the phone about her "bitch of a sister" who wouldn't let her do anything.
Later that day, I asked her which of our parents she planned on moving in with. Cue more fighting.
I managed to tell her that I had no obligation to continue housing her (for free!) if she couldn't respect my family. Mia could either move back in with our parents or continue living with me for the low price of respecting my infant son and stop complaining about it.
We did have a very productive conversation afterwards. I managed to get a lot off my chest, as did my sister. Mia apologized for everything. She admitted she'd been selfish, promised she'd make efforts to change and mature.
I'm a strong believer that people can change, which is why I'm not kicking her out right now. But I made it very clear that Mia is on thin ice, and the next time she does anything like this will be the last time she ever sees the inside of my home.
The curfew will continue until the end of the semester, as originally planned. My father also agreed to pay for Mia to go back to therapy. It helped her a lot when she was younger, so I'm hopeful about the future of this living situation.
I also want to thank those who suggested a white noise machine. My son is not a light sleeper, the keypad is just very loud and startles him awake, but my fiancé and I are still looking into getting one. Anything that helps our baby sleep better is welcome.
Thank you, Reddit!
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: The fact that she'd rather wake a sleeping infant than go through her purse is just... Selfish and lazy is too weak a descriptor for that. Also the idea that you, not her, is keeping her from doing stuff... Mind boggling!
I'm really happy that she's in therapy 'cause that shit aint normal. Did your parents never allow her to suffer any consequences for her actions as you were growing up? And/or is she incredibly stupid?

OOP: She did suffer consequences, but Mia never liked hearing the word "no", specially from me. I wouldn't even call her lazy, she just genuinely doesn't think about anyone else. If it's a minor inconvenience to her, she probably won't do it. That's why I'm so glad she's returning to therapy

Commenter: You realize that this summer will be her “hot girl era “ and she will still be her. But kudos for second chances

OOP: I live in the Southern Hemisphere. Summer starts in December, and we'll all be traveling for the holidays. But I don't think she'd want to stay with us during the Summer anyway.

Commenter: You should've kick her out that night,why are you being so nice??? That's not gonna help you or son.And lives rent free she would of been out so fast.

OOP: I'm being nice exclusively because Mia is going back to therapy, which was very helpful before she quit.
And I do believe things will get better. My sister is smart enough to understand that the extra time it would take for her to get to class if she moved back in with one of our parents is WAY more of an inconvenience than just using her key.
But this is her last chance. If she ever tries anything like this again, she's out.

Editor's note: OOP titled her the final update as her "last update," so I marked it as concluded.

A common claim in HP fandom is that Harry doesn’t appreciate Hermione enough. A weirder assertion I sometimes see is that Ron compliments or appreciates Hermione more than Harry.
Admittedly, Hermione does a lot for Harry throughout the books, and he doesn’t always express his thoughts directly to her. Nevertheless, there are many passages where Harry directly compliments Hermione (often using words of very high praise), as well as quite a few where he expresses his admiration of her to other people.
This essay will explore those complimentary passages from the books. I won’t include simple expressions of gratitude (though those exist too between Harry and Hermione), nor will I recount here the many passages where Harry merely thinks highly of Hermione or appreciates her without saying anything aloud. Frankly, that would make this essay much too long, and I want to focus on real compliments and praise.
After we’ve explored how Harry compliments Hermione along with her reactions, we’ll take a look at how Ron tends to praise Hermione, as well as the different way she reacts to both boys. Not surprisingly to most readers here, we’ll see that Harry is the boy Hermione truly loves praise from. Unfortunately in Ron’s case, his compliments almost never land well (if they land at all).
I’m going to keep the commentary shorter here on many passages, as this is primarily intended to be a list to demonstrate just how much Harry appreciates Hermione and thinks highly of her. Nevertheless, we’ll see a number of patterns emerge as we go through.

Harry’s direct compliments

Let’s begin with one of the most well-known interactions in the early books between Harry and Hermione (PS16):

Hermione’s lip trembled and she suddenly dashed at Harry and threw her arms around him.
‘Hermione!’
‘Harry – you’re a great wizard, you know.’
‘I’m not as good as you,’ said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him.
‘Me!’ said Hermione. ‘Books! And cleverness! There are more important things – friendship and bravery and – oh Harry – be careful!’

There’s not much new to say about this passage—Harry is about to go on alone, putting himself in great danger. Hermione’s lip trembles in emotion, and she embraces Harry for the first time in the books, praising him as a “great wizard.” And yet, Harry claims he’s simply not as good as Hermione.
Still, the two of them go back and forth about it in a cute way, as Hermione then says “Me!” and proceeds to implicitly compliment Harry’s friendship and bravery further.
I mention this latter detail of the back-and-forth because it gets mirrored four years later, except this time with Harry being the one to say, “Me?” See OotP15:

‘Harry, you’re the best in the year at Defence Against the Dark Arts,’ said Hermione.
‘Me?’ said Harry, now grinning more broadly than ever. ‘No I’m not, you’ve beaten me in every test –’
‘Actually, I haven’t,’ said Hermione coolly. ‘You beat me in our third year – the only year we both sat the test and had a teacher who actually knew the subject. But I’m not talking about test results, Harry. Think what you’ve done!’

We know of Harry’s prowess at DADA. Can anyone forget the insanely powerful Patronus Harry conjured at the end of PoA, which Hermione noted was “very, very advanced magic”? It’s again cute that they get into a disagreement, both modestly trying to one-up the praise of the other here while claiming they themselves aren’t the best.
But I already skipped over another moment a few chapters earlier in OotP9:

[Ron] dashed from the room, leaving Harry and Hermione alone.
For some reason, Harry found he did not want to look at Hermione. He turned to his bed, picked up the pile of clean robes Mrs Weasley had laid on it and crossed the room to his trunk.
‘Harry?’ said Hermione tentatively.
‘Well done, Hermione,’ said Harry, so heartily it did not sound like his voice at all, and, still not looking at her, ‘brilliant. Prefect. Great.’
‘Thanks,’ said Hermione. ‘Erm – Harry – could I borrow Hedwig so I can tell Mum and Dad? They’ll be really pleased – I mean prefect is something they can understand.’

The circumstances are complicated here, because Harry’s feeling really conflicted about not getting a prefect’s badge. He doesn’t want to look at Hermione, because I think he feels like she’d be disappointed in him, as she was so enthusiastic about the idea of being prefect with him a few minutes before. I analyzed this whole section in greater depth in another essay, so I won’t get into all of that here.
For the present, let’s just note that Harry is feeling very emotional and is about to launch himself into one of the longest internal monologues in the books, feeling quite down about himself. Yet he still finds the strength to tell Hermione how “brilliant” he thinks she is. Even if he’s hurting and can’t even look at her, he wants her to know he’s proud of her.
This isn’t the only place where Harry spontaneously feels the need to give Hermione compliments even under less-than-ideal circumstances. He seems to place great importance in ensuring that Hermione knows how highly he thinks of her. We particularly see this later in the series. In HBP25, Hermione basically accuses Harry of being mildly sexist because he refuses to take her theory seriously that the “Prince” (the former owner of the potions book) might have been a woman:

‘Listen, Hermione, I can tell it’s not a girl. I can just tell.’
‘The truth is that you don’t think a girl would have been clever enough,’ said Hermione angrily.
‘How can I have hung round with you for five years and not think girls are clever?’ said Harry, stung by this.

Harry’s “stung” that Hermione would think of him as sexist, but he’s specifically disappointed because he knows how brilliant and clever Hermione is. He thinks she’s amazing and incredible and the best in his year at school. I wonder if this passage leads Harry to reflect a bit on how he may not always voice his opinion to Hermione enough, as there’s a marked change in DH, where Harry more frequently tells Hermione directly how highly he thinks of her.
For example, in DH9, in the scene after the trio was attacked by Dolohov and Rowle, Harry calls her “brilliant” for casting a memory charm:

She took a deep, calming breath, then pointed her wand at Dolohov’s forehead and said, ‘Obliviate.’
At once, Dolohov’s eyes became unfocused and dreamy.
‘Brilliant!’ said Harry, clapping her on the back. ‘Take care of the other one and the waitress while Ron and I clear up.’

Later, after Harry and Hermione escape Nagini’s attack at Bathilda Bagshot’s house, Harry calls her “incredible” (DH18):

‘You’re still really angry at me, aren’t you?’ said Hermione; he looked up to see fresh tears leaking out of her eyes, and knew that his anger must have shown in his face.
‘No,’ he said quietly. ‘No, Hermione, I know it was an accident. You were trying to get us out of there alive, and you were incredible. I’d be dead if you hadn’t been there to help me.’
He tried to return her watery smile, then turned his attention to the book.

As in the OotP passage where Harry is feeling depressed about the prefect’s badge, here Harry isn’t really ready to talk. His wand is broken, he was injured by Nagini, and he spent the night having visions of Voldemort killing his parents. It’s not at all an exaggeration to say this is probably the most dire part of Harry’s journey in the books. And yet he still values Hermione enough not only to agree to talk when he’s not ready, but also to immediately forgive her and call her “incredible” for her quick thinking the previous night.
Moreover, we can see how much this means to Hermione at that moment, as she smiles in gratitude at Harry, in contrast to her tear-streaked face.
Later in DH, after Hermione was tortured at Malfoy Manor, we again see Harry expressing his understanding and gratitude for Hermione when he first talks to her (DH24):

Harry had walked up several steps before stopping and looking back.
‘I need you two, as well!’ he called to Ron and Hermione, who had been skulking, half-concealed, in the doorway of the sitting room.
They both moved into the light, looking oddly relieved.
‘How are you?’ Harry asked Hermione. ‘You were amazing – coming up with that story when she was hurting you like that –’
Hermione gave a weak smile as Ron gave her a one-armed squeeze.

Harry calls her “amazing,” and once again Hermione smiles in reply. I should also pause here to note that these superlatives aren’t common for Harry. In fact, they’re unique to Hermione. Harry doesn’t call anyone else “amazing” or “incredible” anywhere in the books.
And these are far from the only times Hermione’s quick thinking saves the day. A few months earlier, she once again apparated Harry (and Ron too) away in mid-air to escape Luna’s father’s house, coming up with a detailed plan in a matter of seconds to hide Ron while exposing Harry during the escape (for strategic reasons). Harry then agrees Hermione is a genius and tells her doesn’t know what they’d do without her (DH22):

‘You’re a genius,’ Ron repeated, looking awed.
‘Yeah, you are, Hermione,’ agreed Harry fervently, ‘I don’t know what we’d do without you.’
She beamed, but became solemn at once.

I’d note another detail here. Ron does compliment Hermione too in this passage, calling her a “genius” multiple times. Yet it’s only once Harry finally tells her how much she means to him that Hermione “beams” in reply. (In a previous essay, I examined how frequently Hermione “beams” at Harry, much more than anyone else.)
This is a pattern we see repeatedly in the books, where Ron’s praise is ignored in favor of Harry’s. Perhaps the clearest example is in HBP9:

[Slughorn:] ‘Oho! “One of my best friends is Muggle-born and she’s the best in our year!” I’m assuming this is the very friend of whom you spoke, Harry?’
‘Yes, sir,’ said Harry.
‘Well, well, take twenty well-earned points for Gryffindor, Miss Granger,’ said Slughorn genially.
Malfoy looked rather as he had done the time Hermione had punched him in the face. Hermione turned to Harry with a radiant expression and whispered, ‘Did you really tell him I’m the best in the year? Oh, Harry!’
‘Well, what’s so impressive about that?’ whispered Ron, who for some reason looked annoyed. ‘You are the best in the year – I’d’ve told him so if he’d asked me!’
Hermione smiled but made a ‘shush’ing gesture, so that they could hear what Slughorn was saying. Ron looked slightly disgruntled.

Harry had already praised Hermione to Slughorn privately (a fact we’ll come back to), but hearing this praise from Harry causes Hermione to turn toward Harry with a “radiant expression,” overwhelmed with joy at the idea that Harry thought of her as the “best in the year.” (The word choice of “radiant” here is rather special for JKR, as I’ve noted in a previous essay.)
Meanwhile, poor Ron is off to the side, looking “slightly disgruntled” when Hermione shushes him in class for a similar remark.

Ron’s compliments to Hermione

Unfortunately for Ron, Hermione’s reaction in the Slughorn scene is typical. We’ve seen Hermione repeatedly smiling and looking radiant at Harry’s compliments, as well as reacting by praising him in return. Ron, on the other hand, is almost exclusively met with tepid if not outright negative reactions from Hermione even when he says nice things about her.
I drew on a list of Ron compliments created by Ron/Hermione shippers here, but the original list only gave Ron’s lines, without Hermione’s reactions, which I’ve restored below. (The reason for the omission of Hermione’s responses will soon become clear.)
Ron first shows genuine admiration for Hermione back in PoA15 when she slaps Draco and then storms out of Divination. However, the first time Ron actually tries to express this appreciation verbally probably happens in OotP12:

[Hermione:] ‘About You-Know-Who. He said his “gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust –”’
‘How do you remember stuff like that?’ asked Ron, looking at her in admiration.
‘I listen, Ron,’ said Hermione, with a touch of asperity.
‘So do I, but I still couldn’t tell you exactly what –’
‘The point,’ Hermione pressed on loudly, ‘is that this sort of thing is exactly what Dumbledore was talking about. You-Know-Who’s only been back two months and we’ve already started fighting among ourselves. And the Sorting Hat’s warning was the same: stand together, be united –’

Although this isn’t a direct compliment, we’re told that Ron is actually looking at Hermione “in admiration.” Unlike his more typical annoyance with her, he’s actually impressed here by her memory. And yet Hermione responds with “asperity,” harshly putting him down for not listening better. When Ron gets defensive and tries to react, Hermione “loudly” talks over him and essentially ignores Ron completely.
This is far from the only time Hermione will ignore Ron’s occasional kind words, because she clearly knows it’s unusual behavior. She tells us this directly (OotP14):

‘OK, write that down,’ Hermione said to Ron, pushing his essay and a sheet covered in her own writing back to Ron, ‘then add this conclusion I’ve written for you.’
‘Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I’ve ever met,’ said Ron weakly, ‘and if I’m ever rude to you again –’
‘– I’ll know you’re back to normal,’ said Hermione.

Ron was trying to thank her for help with his homework, but Hermione recognizes this praise as obviously transactional. She has noticed he’s only nice to her when she does things for him, but otherwise his “normal” behavior toward her is a bit rude. (As a sidenote: we’ve already seen Harry repeatedly refer to Hermione as “brilliant.” Ron, in contrast, does call Hermione sort of “brilliant” twice, both times sarcastically referring to theories or ideas he thinks are ridiculous. See CoS13, DH25.)
Ron’s attempts at recognizing Hermione’s achievements also look very different from Harry’s. In HBP5, when Hermione is worrying about her O.W.L. exam performance, Ron does acknowledge Hermione’s academic performance a couple times, in passages that Ron/Hermione fans will point to as evidence of his supposed admiration.
Yet they don’t come off as compliments. They are aggressive and exasperated and almost making fun of Hermione at the end. And look how Hermione reacts:

‘Hermione, will you shut up, you’re not the only one who’s nervous!’ barked Ron. ‘And when you’ve got your ten “Outstanding” O.W.L.s ...’
‘Don’t, don’t, don’t!’ said Hermione, flapping her hands hysterically. ‘I know I’ve failed everything!’
[…]
‘I – not bad,’ said Hermione in a small voice.
‘Oh, come off it,’ said Ron, striding over to her and whipping her results out of her hand. ‘Yep – nine “Outstandings” and one “Exceeds Expectations” in Defence Against the Dark Arts.’ He looked down at her, half-amused, half-exasperated. ‘You’re actually disappointed, aren’t you?’
Hermione shook her head, but Harry laughed.

So yes, Ron acknowledges her achievements here, but he does so in the process of telling her to “shut up,” barking at her, and then becoming “exasperated” at her personal goals. I think we can all take a step back and acknowledge that Hermione is a fairly extreme perfectionist, and her level of anxiety at potentially “failing everything” comes across as weird and a bit irrational. Still, rather than helping her “calm down” (as many Ron/Hermione fans would say Ron does), Ron exacerbates Hermione’s level of disquiet, causing her to become “hysterical” and then later embarrassed, reacting in a “small voice.”
Harry would have just clapped her on the back and called her “brilliant” or something, to which she’d probably smile in reply. Harry doesn’t share Hermione’s level of academic dedication, but he still appreciates it, rather than trying to shame Hermione for being an overachiever. Yet Ron manages to make her uncomfortable in several different ways in this scene, even as he recognizes how well she would do.
And we’ve only started on the types of negative reactions Hermione has to Ron’s attempts at recognizing her achievements. In HBP21 after apparition practice in Hogsmeade, Ron cuts in to call her performance “perfect”:

‘Good one,’ said Harry. ‘How’d you do, Hermione?’
‘Oh, she was perfect, obviously,’ said Ron, before Hermione could answer. ‘Perfect deliberation, divination and desperation, or whatever the hell it is – we all went for a quick drink in the Three Broomsticks after and you should’ve heard Twycross going on about her – I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t pop the question soon –’
‘And what about you?’ asked Hermione, ignoring Ron.

Ron’s praise is undermined with the dismissive “whatever the hell it is,” once again making it clear that he doesn’t value Hermione’s attention to detail and high standards. Hermione’s response is, reasonably, then to simply ignore Ron.
Admittedly, Ron appears to realize some of his failings and makes an attempt in Deathly Hallows, reading the Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches book and trying to learn how to compliment a girl. It unfortunately doesn’t go quite smoothly for Ron at first (DH7):

Hermione made purple and gold streamers erupt from the end of her wand and drape themselves artistically over the trees and bushes.
‘Nice,’ said Ron, as with one final flourish of her wand, Hermione turned the leaves on the crab-apple tree to gold. ‘You’ve really got an eye for that sort of thing.’
‘Thank you, Ron!’ said Hermione, looking both pleased and a little confused. Harry turned away, smiling to himself. He had a funny notion that he would find a chapter on compliments when he found time to peruse his copy of Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches […].

Ron arguably is trying here, but as we know from OotP, Hermione knows Ron’s more typical reaction toward her is rudeness. Hence we see her a “little confused” yet still somewhat pleased.
This kind of dual reaction from Hermione is usually the best Ron can hope for. Unlike Hermione’s instant smiles and happiness from Harry’s compliments, she views Ron with suspicion. Hermione always appears to keep in mind that Ron’s pleasant reactions are atypical and thus not to be trusted. We see this again as Hermione enters before Bill and Fleur’s wedding, wearing a lovely dress (DH8):

‘[…] wow,’ [Ron] added, blinking rather rapidly as Hermione came hurrying towards them. ‘You look great!’
‘Always the tone of surprise,’ said Hermione, though she smiled.

Note the “though she smiled” qualification here, which is pointing out that Hermione’s reaction is not exactly positive and arguably unkind. Hermione is here making a reference to an earlier conversation after the Seven Potters. When Tonks mentioned how “great” Ron was stunning a Death Eater, Hermione reacted positively with “you did?” Hermione was sincerely proud of Ron at that moment, hugging him, and yet Ron reacted with the phrase “Always the tone of surprise,” rejecting her and breaking off from her embrace.
Admittedly, Ron was a bit right in that scene to acknowledge that Hermione almost never recognizes his achievements. Yet in the wedding scene, we see Hermione throw that verbal dig back at Ron, effectively taking what appears to be a more sincere compliment from Ron and undermining it. She’s telling him (and the reader) that he doesn’t generally find her attractive and wouldn’t typically say such a nice thing to her.
In effect, she’s somewhat begrudgingly smiling while taking a swipe at Ron’s more typical behavior.
There’s really only one time in all of the books that I have found where Hermione actually reacts positively (without qualification) to Ron’s praise. That occurs in DH9 after she reveals how she had packed so much in her beaded bag in preparation for the Horcrux hunt and emergencies:

‘I told you at The Burrow, I’ve had the essentials packed for days, you know, in case we needed to make a quick getaway. I packed your rucksack this morning, Harry, after you changed, and put it in here ... I just had a feeling …’
‘You’re amazing, you are,’ said Ron, handing her his bundled-up robes.
‘Thank you,’ said Hermione, managing a small smile as she pushed the robes into the bag. ‘Please, Harry, get that Cloak on!’

We see her here at least giving Ron a “small smile,” though she quickly turns to Harry, more concerned again about him. Still, it’s a legitimate positive reaction to a compliment from Ron. We shouldn’t have to pause and reflect on that so much, except for the fact that this is a rather unique occurrence. Every other time Ron says something nice about Hermione, she ignores it, gets annoyed, dismisses it, gets suspicious or confused, or has some other negative reaction like we saw.
And even this one pleasant moment between Ron and Hermione is immediately undermined a few pages later:

Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his wand from his pocket.
‘It’s no wonder I can’t get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they’re tight.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ hissed Hermione, and as she dragged the waitress out of sight of the windows Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his wand instead.

Yes, Ron was happy for a moment and praised Hermione for packing his stuff, but it turns out she did it wrong in Ron’s eyes. She packed the wrong jeans, and Hermione reacts very negatively, telling Ron to shove his wand up his arse. Hermione here must feel like Ron is conforming to the behavior she described back in OotP—he’s only nice until he turns back to his “normal” negative behavior toward her.

Harry complimenting Hermione to other people

We don’t really have space here to investigate the many other times Harry thinks highly of Hermione, is grateful for her, or appreciates some aspect of her in his internal thoughts. But it’s perhaps useful to end this exploration by noting how many other times Harry still manages to praise Hermione verbally, unprompted, to other people.
We can start with the scene that inspired Slughorn in the quotation discussed above, where Ron was disgruntled at Hermione’s ecstatic reaction to Harry’s compliment. See HBP4:

[Slughorn:] ‘Your mother was Muggle-born, of course. Couldn’t believe it when I found out. Thought she must have been pure-blood, she was so good.’
‘One of my best friends is Muggle-born,’ said Harry, ‘and she’s the best in our year.’

Note that there’s really no good reason for Harry to praise Hermione so specifically and highly here. Slughorn was discussing Lily, and Harry could have simply countered with the fact that he had talented Muggle-born friends too. Yet he singles out Hermione to compare to his mother’s talent and goes further—calling her the best student in his year.
Ron never has a comparable passage in the books. Many of his compliments or nice moments are very situational with Hermione, not spontaneous praise. This is probably one reason why Hermione also shushes Ron when he tries to echo Harry later with Slughorn: she knows if Harry said something, he meant it and wasn’t just trying to flatter her or be nice because of the situation.
The best Ron can manage on a couple occasions are vague acknowledgments to Harry about Hermione. Such as CoS14:

“What does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.
“Loads more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head.

Not exactly a compliment, but this one makes lists of Ron’s compliments sometimes, just because it’s so rare for Ron to say something even this nice about Hermione. Even when Ron is clearly impressed by Hermione slapping Draco and then storming out of Trelawney’s class in PoA15, the most he can manage to say to Harry is:

‘Some day Hermione’s having, eh?’ Ron muttered to Harry, looking awed.

We’re told that Ron’s “looking awed” here, but he still can barely say anything directly praiseworthy about her.
Meanwhile, Harry simply cannot stop himself from saying how amazing Hermione is. As far back as CoS2:

‘Harry Potter asks if he can help Dobby ... Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but of your goodness, Dobby never knew ...’
Harry, who was feeling distinctly hot in the face, said, ‘Whatever you’ve heard about my greatness is a load of rubbish. I’m not even top of my year at Hogwarts, that’s Hermione, she –’
But he stopped quickly, because thinking about Hermione was painful.

Remember when we saw that Hermione tried to compliment Harry and tell him he was a great wizard in PS or the best in DADA in OotP? Harry couldn’t help deferring to Hermione, trying to praise her as better. The same thing happens when Dobby speaks of Harry’s “greatness” here—and Harry immediately thinks of the greatest person he knows: Hermione Granger.
Harry can’t even let the Quidditch team think he was smart enough to come up with the Impervius Charm for his glasses (originally during the Quidditch match back in PoA9). When Angelina proposes using the spell again in OotP18, Harry simply has to give Hermione credit:

[Angelina:] ‘[…] Harry, didn’t you do something to your glasses to stop the rain fogging them up when we played Hufflepuff in that storm?’
‘Hermione did it,’ said Harry. He pulled out his wand, tapped his glasses and said, ‘Impervius!’

It’s not exactly a compliment, but it just shows yet again how much he wants everyone to know how amazing Hermione is.
This reflex Harry has to praise Hermione comes up in the strangest places, getting him into arguments with his love interests. When Cho brings up the jinx that resulted in Marietta’s outbreak of pimples, Harry can’t help contradicting her (OotP28):

‘That was a really horrible trick of Hermione Granger’s,’ said Cho fiercely. ‘She should have told us she’d jinxed that list –’
‘I think it was a brilliant idea,’ said Harry coldly. Cho flushed and her eyes grew brighter.
‘Oh yes, I forgot – of course, if it was darling Hermione’s idea –’

Cho is actually quite insightful about the role of Hermione in Harry’s life here. She earlier got jealous when Harry prioritized Hermione on Valentine’s Day, and now she gets annoyed at how “brilliant” Harry considered “darling Hermione’s idea.”
Just as in Quidditch with his glasses, Harry can’t help acknowledging Hermione’s brilliance, even with another girl he likes. He could have been a little more diplomatic with Cho in disagreeing with her, but instead his reflex is to defend Hermione.
Perhaps the most absurd moment of praise for Hermione randomly comes up as Harry’s breaking up with Ginny (HBP30):

‘I never really gave up on you,’ [Ginny] said. ‘Not really. I always hoped ... Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more – myself.’
‘Smart girl, that Hermione,’ said Harry, trying to smile.

Think about what’s going on in this moment. Ginny just admitted how strong her feelings for Harry are, that she “never really gave up” on him, from when she was a young girl. She’s effectively trying to inform him of her commitment, of his status as her first love. If Harry had deep feelings for Ginny, we might expect him at this point to recognize how long Ginny had cared, how much she had tried to learn to be “herself” around him, to get him to notice her.
And instead the first words from Harry’s lips are to acknowledge how smart Hermione is. He’s breaking up with his girlfriend… and praising another girl’s intelligence? I know Harry can be rather thick sometimes, but this is not the thing to do in the middle of a break-up. It’s no wonder Cho was so jealous of Hermione.

Conclusion

Once again, as in many of my other essays, I think we can see patterns emerging around Harry and Hermione’s unique relationship. We see them repeatedly praising each other spontaneously. And Harry can’t help but blurt out how brilliant Hermione is to other people, even in situations where it’s arguably inappropriate.
Ron’s efforts at compliments are nothing like that, unfortunately. We might even feel a bit bad for him when he does begin to make an effort in DH, as it’s clear Ron is never going to have the impact on Hermione that Harry’s compliments do.
I mentioned at the outset that there are many people who say Harry isn’t appreciative enough toward Hermione. It’s true that we don’t hear him say it aloud all the time, particularly in the early books. Yet it’s very clear even in the first book that Harry thinks Hermione is a better wizard than he is. And he doesn’t hesitate to tell her, or to announce it to Dobby in CoS.
As the series progresses, Harry’s outward appreciation increases, to the point where we see him calling her “amazing” and “incredible” and the “best in our year,” terms that he only ever says about Hermione. Perhaps even more importantly, we see that Hermione knows how special she is to Harry, how sincere his compliments are, as we see her repeatedly responding with emotional smiles and even a “radiant expression” to these words.
I didn’t even explore most of the passages where Hermione praises or compliments Harry in the books (and there are plenty more of those too), but we can see the strength of Harry and Hermione’s friendship and care for each other. They both strive to raise each other up, especially in stressful times when they need it the most.
I’d like to acknowledge members of the HMS Harmony Discord server for their support and suggestions. Specifically, thanks to Jiraffas for suggesting an essay on this topic. Thanks for Dragonfly for convincing me to include a section on Harry complimenting Hermione to other people and for reminding me of the Angelina moment in OotP. In general, I’m grateful for the discussion and commentary from the Harmony community.
If there are any moments you think I missed, please point them out in comments! I’d like this essay to be a resource for those who want to debunk fandom claims concerning Harry’s supposed lack of appreciation toward Hermione.

hello. I'm Rosa Pennitt, a 33-year-old computer engineer from the UK, currently working in London, and I've come to realise that there are many students living the dream I've always dreamed of, in a country far away from London, called South Korea.Having been to South Korea, it's been an amazing experience and I have nothing but praise for the country.Growing up, my family didn't have much money. I had to take out student loans until I graduated from university, and I managed to graduate by applying for jobs on campus, working part-time at the library, and getting some government funding. If I was very good, I could get a scholarship, but I wasn't that good, and I was accepted to the school I applied to first, so the scholarship was very hard to get.
I've been working in the field of computer engineering since then, and I've had a variety of careers, and I'm currently working for a company that works as a team. We build and maintain software and hardware, such as developing new programming and building a server room for a project, and I'm working on the hardware side of things.
Recently, a project with a large company in the UK was successfully completed, and all employees were given time off, and we were all given generous holiday pay, so everyone was encouraged to go abroad.I always like to go to new cultures and experience new things, and this was a pretty big project, and we completed it ahead of schedule, so we were given a long holiday and generous holiday pay.
I have a friend named Lily, who I've been hanging out with in my neighbourhood since I was a kid, who is now settled in Korea and working as a lecturer at a university there.
When I told Lily that I was going to take a long leave of absence and was considering staying abroad, she asked me to come to Korea at this time. She always talked about how much she liked Korea, and I was curious about Korea, so I said yes.
After finishing the project, during the few days when I had to go back to work to complete various paperwork at the company, my colleagues had all made travel plans to different places, and I mentioned that I was going to go to Korea this time.
I was taking a break from work, grabbing a cup of coffee from the vending machine and relaxing in the waiting area when he approached me and asked me, "Are you travelling to Korea this time? How many days are you going to be there?" I wondered why he was so interested, given his negative comments about Korea.
"I'm going to Korea for about two weeks, and my best friend from childhood is a professor there, so I'm thinking of getting her help."For some unknown reason, Richard, who had been talking negatively about Korea, didn't let my story go.
"Korea is just a subset of Japan, its culture is not as good, its development is not as advanced as Japan's," he said in one short sentence, which was very offensive to me.I didn't stand still either. Lily, who lives in Korea, has told me many good things about Korea and how it is better than the UK, and her examples were specific and she didn't seem to be lying, so I had a positive opinion of Korea, and even though I haven't been to Korea yet, I found Richard's comment very rude.
"My friend Lily has been living in Korea for four years, she knows so many good things about Korea, and she often tells me about the excellence of Korean culture, so Richard, on what basis do you talk about denigrating other countries?" Richard seemed confused by my unexpectedly strong words.
He hesitated, then said, "I don't know because I haven't experienced it myself, but I find it hard to believe that Korea is good, because I'm going to Japan next time, and I'm sure I'll have a better experience there than in Korea." I didn't want to get into another argument with Richard, so I just walked away.
I thought he was just a low-level person who was talking bullshit and tried to move on, but his words kept coming back to me.No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't understand what he was saying, and I regretted coming back to him without giving him a proper response.I should have just stood my ground and shut him up! But I felt that going back and arguing with Richard now would only give him an excuse to fight me and put me in a worse position, so I had to suck it up and let it go.Of course, during my trip to Korea, Richard paid a heavy price for his remorse, but I'll tell you about that in a moment.
I had to get over the offence, and the day finally arrived to board the plane to Korea.Before I left Korea, I had come to think of it as a minor disagreement.Getting on the plane to Korea was exciting and anticipated in itself.Meeting Lily at the airport, reuniting with her after so many years, and welcoming her to Korea, I could see her relaxed and content with life in Korea.
With her guidance, we began our tour of Korea, a truly exotic country, a whole different world, and I could see why she raved about it.
The roads were clean and well-maintained, the public toilets were almost always clean everywhere you went, the food was delicious, and there were plenty of experience zones where you could experience the amazing cultural industries that Korea has to offer. I also visited several of the country's large shopping malls, which were all beautifully designed and built with an eye for aesthetics.
On my tenth day in Korea, I had fully adjusted to the time difference and was soaking up the Korean atmosphere that I was hoping that time would pass more slowly.
Lily insisted that we go to Gwangjang Market, which is one of the most popular spots for foreigners, but she said that even if you don't go there, you can find all the food sold at Gwangjang Market in other places, and to be honest, vendors who charge foreigners unfairly have been in the news recently, and when I saw the news, I thought that I had been victimised many times.
Lily didn't want me to go to Gwangjang Market because she said that it was the place where even Koreans are unfairly charged. However, the atmosphere of Gwangjang Market was very different, so I convinced her to go to Gwangjang Market after promising her that I wouldn't buy anything at Gwangjang Market, but just watch.
As expected, there were quite a few foreigners at the entrance of Gwangjang Market, including many Europeans and Americans, but also many people from other Asian countries besides Korea. Lily was disappointed because she said that in Korea, most of the prices are scouted and 99% of the stores are transparent, but there are some merchants who take unfair advantage of the market and ruin the image of Korea.
I was surprised to hear Lily's story because unlike other European countries, Korea is a country where foreigners don't have to pay more for goods and food, and where prices are set, so I was surprised to hear that there are places in Korea where people who do this kind of dirty business.
From a foreigner's point of view, Korea is a country where people are not perfect and there will be people who behave badly, but from a foreigner's point of view, Korea is a country that has been transparent in its consumption, where you have to eat expensive food at the gwangjang market, where you are treated unfairly, but where you have paid very honestly everywhere else. If it weren't for Lily, I would have been a victim of such a scam here, and I felt that such injustices shouldn't happen anymore.
Although I didn't buy anything or eat anything here, I felt that the atmosphere of the Korean market was different and there was a lot to see. Lily also wanted to buy things and eat food here, but she emphasised many times that we should be satisfied with just looking around.
After walking slowly, we walked back towards the entrance of the market and saw a familiar figure in front of us, which I almost recognised as Richard, who hadn't shaved in a while, had a scruffy beard, and was dressed in a plain outfit, standing still on the side of the road, looking at his mobile phone.
Actually, Lily knew about Richard, because when I was in Korea, a colleague of mine, Richard, told me that there was a person who said that Korea was just a subordinate country of Japan, that it was culturally and economically backward, and Lily was very upset about that, and she asked him if he had ever been to Korea or Japan, and she was very upset to hear Richard's bullshit. She made me understand from the very beginning that what Richard was saying was complete bullshit, that the United States was a subsidiary of the United Kingdom.
I told her that there was Richard, the characterless man I had told her about.I was surprised, and she was very surprised.If he was going to Japan, why is he here? I approached him cautiously.I looked at his face and silhouette several times to make sure it was him, and then I was sure it was him.Dear Richard, are you lost? Can I help you? I didn't ask him in an aggressive way, but in a friendly way, because you have to be careful and friendly to get what you want.
Richard was very surprised and smiled at me, very happy to see me. I introduced him to Lily, who was next to me, as a friend of mine who lives in Korea, and although Lily had already heard about Richard, this was her first introduction to Richard.
Richard arrived in Korea this morning and said that it was his first time here and that he couldn't get used to the different atmosphere from Japan. I asked him if he hadn't just been living in Japan and was going back to England, and he made an unrecognisable fat face. I knew something was up right away. I suggested to him that if we hadn't already eaten, we should join him for a meal, saying that it was a great coincidence to meet a colleague in Korea and that we must have a lot to talk about.
I wanted to take my time to hear Richard's story about why he came to Korea.I didn't want him to give away the fact that he had hostile feelings towards Korea, that Lily and I knew, and that he thought very badly of it.Slowly, as I listened to his story, he relaxed and began to tell me that he had actually had an unfortunate experience in Japan.
He said that he was walking down a busy street in Osaka, and he wanted to go to a bar by himself, but he didn't know much about Japan, so he was wandering the streets, wondering which bar to go to, when he was approached by a Japanese man who was smiling at him. At first, he didn't realise he was a tout, because he didn't look like a typical tout, he wasn't dressed in fancy clothes, he just looked like an ordinary office worker.
Richard said he was looking for a pub nearby, and the tout said he knew of one, and led him to it, where he drank contentedly by himself. He said he enjoyed the quiet atmosphere, the lack of people but himself, and the small Japanese-style bar where he drank at his leisure.He said he drank as much as he was satisfied with, and when he asked for the bill to pay and leave the bar, he realised that he had been charged a ridiculously high amount of money.8 The bill was for about 10,000 yen, and it was very expensive, including the tax, and it even included the drinks and snacks that I didn't drink.
He said that he could never pay, but they wouldn't let him leave because they didn't understand him or didn't speak English.
When Richard insisted that he couldn't pay, and shouted that he was going to call the police, they started to bring more empty glasses to the table where he was sitting, and even brought some dirty plates as if he had already eaten the appetisers, and threatened him.
Richard said that he was able to get out of the situation after settling the bill for 50,000 won. After being scammed in Japan, Richard quickly lost interest in travelling, and the next day he went to another place, but there was nothing in sight, and he said that he couldn't bear to think about what happened yesterday.
He said he came to Korea not because he liked Korea, but because he just wanted to get out of Japan, and I came to think that it was a very good thing that we didn't let him enter Gwangjang Market.
Lily and I comforted him, and then I took him around Seoul with me for the rest of the next few days, showing him the conscientious, clean, and friendly side of Korea that I had seen, but also the incredibly developed side of Korea.
Starbucks in Korea is like a place where a lot of people are working on their laptops, doing their work, a little bit like a school library, and it's very quiet, and then Richard and I saw two Korean students, who were programming and coding, and they were struggling with something.
Richard and I, who have already endured a long period of bumps in the road in our careers, could tell that they were trying to solve a task set by the school, and at the same time, we were curious about what they were building and what they were doing.Richard first said to the Korean students, "I'm actually a working programmer, and I'm here to help you because you seem to be stuck and not making progress.
I sat down with the two Korean students, and we had a chance to talk about things.They were freshmen in college, and I didn't have much to offer them programmatically, but I could tell that they had a really great vision and were working very hard.It's kind of creepy to talk about the conversation with them, so I won't go into details, but I felt like I was seeing myself in the past, because I was in a very similar position as a college student, struggling financially and having to study.
I talked to them about the programming industry and gave them a good vision of what they could do if they tried hard enough, and I also remember giving them a dessert to end the meeting.
It was very meaningful to have the opportunity to interact with these students and not just go back to Korea as a tourist.
After a few days of enjoying Korea, he even arranged for me to fly back to the UK with him, as he had been travelling alone in Japan and had been victimised by a scam, so he was very emotionally distressed and relied on me as a colleague.
So at the end of our time in Korea, I said goodbye to Lily, and he said goodbye to Lily, and we were sitting next to each other on the plane, and we were heading back to the UK.
And I asked him a question, do you realise now that before I went to Korea, you said that Korea was a subordinate country of Japan, that it was a very flippant thing to say, and that it could have hurt a lot of people?" I said sharply and firmly.He said he had nothing to say, that he thought he had been punished for what he had said, and that he had been thinking about what he had said the whole trip, and that he was grateful that he had said it now.
Richard acknowledged that his comments were very flippant, saying that he had never been to Korea and had never been to Japan, but that there was no reason for him to think that way."I was very quick to judge Korea, and after travelling around with you and experiencing it firsthand, I realised that I was wrong. Richard's sincere apology softened my feelings towards him, and I actually thought he felt the same way, because when the three of us were travelling around Korea with Lily, he would often say things like, "I really like Korea," "Korea is amazing," and "I didn't know that before, why didn't I know that before?
Richard's flippant remarks were very wrong, but I also felt that he was not a very human being when he reflected on his experiences in Korea and Japan. If he doesn't make flippant remarks again, I think he would be a good colleague to work with.
After returning to the UK, the project team came together again, each with their own wonderful experiences, and talking about them was like travelling the world indirectly for a few days, and I heard a variety of stories, and Richard was the loudest, and it was funny to see how loudly he said he loved Korea.
He promised not to say anything rude, so he didn't tell me about his scam in Japan, but I don't know if it was because he was ashamed of what happened to him, or if he decided not to say anything bad about other countries.This was my travelogue about Korea, and I would like to write about it again if I go to Korea again in the future.

FORGOT THE NAME OF THIS MANHWA
PLEASE HELP ME FIND IT
I have looked all over the internet and I cannot find this specific manhwa, I read part of it like two years ago and I want to finish it. Here’s what I remember.
The main character (possibly died in a plane crash) was reincarnated as the villain in her favourite book, who is destined to die. She tries to avoid this fate by being a whole lot nicer to everyone.

• her mother is evil and in the book they plot together to fool the king, because everyone thought she was the princess until this other girl appeared and was the the real princess

I only remember bits and pieces. But the ML ends up falling in love with her instead of the original FL, and the original FL also loved her, because the main character was nicer than the og story
Also I think she has this cousin who is really rude
and I also think she infiltrates like a slave ring.
And she also like puts on “masks” to hide her true identity sometimes,
and there’s this mage who she helps to become the top wizard guy and then he owes her favours
Anyway so she also has a fiancé in the manhwa but I don’t think she likes him (I think he was long purple hair)
Eventually she starts changing the plot of the og book too much and there are things she doesn’t expect that happen. Like she tries really hard to get the FL and the ML together, but they don’t like each other and the FL is really protective over her because she saved the FL’s life
And I think the ML is the princess of a far off kingdom who ended up in a slave trading ring, and the princess brought him. And in the og book she tortured him but the main character is really nice to him so she falls in love
Ik that was a bunch of nonsense but PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN FIND IT THAT WOULD BE AMAZING
ALSO PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS TO CLEAR THE AIR I EXPLAINED IT SO BAD

PLEASE HELP ME FIND IT
I have looked all over the internet and I cannot find this specific manhwa, I read part of it like two years ago and I want to finish it. Here’s what I remember.
The main character (possibly died in a plane crash) was reincarnated as the villain in her favourite book, who is destined to die. She tries to avoid this fate by being a whole lot nicer to everyone.

• her mother is evil and in the book they plot together to fool the king, because everyone thought she was the princess until this other girl appeared and was the the real princess

I only remember bits and pieces. But the ML ends up falling in love with her instead of the original FL, and the original FL also loved her, because the main character was nicer than the og story
Also I think she has this cousin who is really rude
and I also think she infiltrates like a slave ring.
And she also like puts on “masks” to hide her true identity sometimes,
and there’s this mage who she helps to become the top wizard guy and then he owes her favours
Anyway so she also has a fiancé in the manhwa but I don’t think she likes him (I think he was long purple hair)
Eventually she starts changing the plot of the og book too much and there are things she doesn’t expect that happen. Like she tries really hard to get the FL and the ML together, but they don’t like each other and the FL is really protective over her because she saved the FL’s life
And I think the ML is the princess of a far off kingdom who ended up in a slave trading ring, and the princess brought him. And in the og book she tortured him but the main character is really nice to him so she falls in love
Ik that was a bunch of nonsense but PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN FIND IT THAT WOULD BE AMAZING
ALSO PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS TO CLEAR THE AIR I EXPLAINED IT SO BAD

I am a 21F and my boyfriend is a 33M. I am also 17w and 4 days. We got into an argument about what we were going to do. He wanted to watch men in black or play a game. I said okay to the game and no to men in black (it’s a sci fi action movie, didn’t really want to watch it. I recommended central intelligence because he wanted to watch it yesterday, he didn’t give me an answer tonight about it). We got on the topic of band of brothers (even though that wasn’t an option suggested for tonight) and I basically said I didn’t want to watch it/don’t like it (men screaming at each other and treating them like shit, military series). He then said your generation doesn’t know anything about history and it’s ruining everything. I said “whomp whomp live longer” and he didn’t not like that. We continue with a back and forth of me saying I don’t really care that much about shows like that. And also me saying what’s worse is at least my generation can educate themselves, you can’t live longer. He said my generation could never educate ourselves. At the time he was rubbing my feet. He then said, “wow I can’t believe you said that and I’m rubbing your feet and you only worked two hours today.” ( I don’t work long shifts because my job closes early and I’m getting ready to get back in school).So I said okay well you didn’t have to if you had an issue with it. And then he storms off and leaves. We text through the night to try and solve it and the only thing he said was we never do what he suggests (his suggestions are a lot of the time sex or doing exactly what he wants). We usually have these arguments if he’s drinking. He’s not belligerent or anything, but he definitely has a quicker temper. He also has an issue with leaving. 90% of the time, if we have an argument he’ll leave. Whether it be go to the bathroom for a long time, go in a different room, or literally go to the gas station and sit there. I do not appreciate that at all. It makes me feel like he just doesn’t want to be with me, doesn’t want to solve the problem and it’s so easy to leave me. He makes it seem like I don’t feel comfortable or secure when I’m with him, and it’s because he just leaves all the time during arguments. I’ve expressed this millions of times how I feel. He’ll always say just DoorDash for money since you hate working so much, or he believes that I’ll just rely on him for money. How could I trust him to be able to rely on him if he leaves when I feel most vulnerable? This whole argument started because I had opinions about things and he didn’t like it. He said rude things to me and I said rude things back. I understand I shouldn’t have, but he is always saying something about “my generation” and it gets annoying. Majority of the time I bite my tongue about the stuff we do and I just say okay to what he wants but he has an issue with me not “communicating” how I feel.
Note: he loves me very much, shows it all the time, and does anything I ask. He’s everything I could ask for but we always get into petty arguments like this and I have a slight issue with his drinking problem.

I had this online friend whom I liked, for one year we were just online friends. He helped me with studies since we had the same study field. He seemed really kind not because he helped me, but just our conversations were like that. We never ever filrted or anything like that over text. Until I met him in real. I was sunk to the floor. I'm not saying anything about looks. He was infact, really nice-looking boy, but his personality was totally different from chat. He was too much prickly and rude. And after first meeting I was like" well so what if he's not like the chat or what I expected, its not like I'm going to date or anything " Immediately after that I get text from him and even his online avatar had changed. He seemed like a different person, and after one week of meeting day, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Dumb me who hadn't dated entire life, just after 5 min thinking said yes. 🤡 and then, after 3 days, I said it's not working and broke up. Other than this, I've only had a situationship kind of thing which left me traumatised for months🤓 and I'm pretty sure my mind is still not over it. After all this, my stupid brain still thinks of love and keeps wanting to find someone to an unhealthy level 🤡.