Hi, looking for opinions. Short-ish backstory - I managed to secure some land in a Perth coastal suburb that’s selling hot. Paid $309k for 375m2, one month on those same blocks are selling for $350k+. Very naive to the process and have since worked out the reason I wanted to build - my forever home with a nice patch of grass outside for my dogs - won’t happen as I’ve discovered the backyard faces flush to south, which means it’ll be completely shaded during winter and likely die.
Block was a cash buy so can’t pull out of the contract, however I feel given the hot prices, the developer wouldn’t kick a stink if I proposed a sell back but it would be at the price I purchased not current value.
Do I just continue with the build, stick to the basic inclusions rather than make it how I want and flog it off? I can’t see the Perth property market cooling significantly over the next 2 years (if all goes to schedule I would think December 2025 completion) OR cut my loss, try the sell back and lose 2k builder PPA deposit and possibly stamp duty.
Total build inc the land would probably be around 660-670k - house in same suburb, same land but 1 less bedroom just sold for 782k. Latest listing on street behind mine is up for 679k+ offers. So some discrepancies but the range is there.
Devastated and feel very empty knowing I don’t think there’s a way to make this place my forever home anymore and I feel full of resent and regret. Everything in my life is for these two dogs and I’ve gone and messed up again! Just more costly this time. Perhaps I might learn to look past it and love it once we’re in, but the knot in my gut says not a chance. Especially when my eyes see two terrors covered in mud and week old grass remnants jumping on the bed. Took years to get here, hard work and savings, just to find out you’re a moron who discovered the world of orientation 3 weeks too late 💀😵 this added woe is me section wasn’t necessary but clearly I had to get it out 🤫
So my wise friends, what would you do?

First/Previous
Since I knew there was a time before, I’ve wanted it, but that was child’s hope; even as a boy I wanted a dream. I wanted some divine being to enter from heaven and tell us all how it should be, but that wasn’t something I could ever count on—of course. Is there a god? I think so. I’ve seen those things and if they exist, then surely there’s a maker on the other end of it—god made both the light and the dark if the word’s to be believed and all we can hope for is a glimpse of the former. Even for a second.
The streets were soaked with blood and so many artillery rounds were fired into the sky—many I witnessed missed Leviathan—that I forgot what silence was like (not to mention the screams and there was a lot of that).
In the scrambling, I found I was reentering deeper into Golgotha and that wasn’t good. There was the ever-present thought that Maron was around every corner; the man had haunted my thoughts for longer that he should have and every time it was like an overwhelming force. It was simple enough after all, he was a piece of the past, a piece I could theoretically reach out and touch and that was what kept me to him.
In the fray of bolting citizens, I pressed myself to the exterior of a wall—I’d neared the stairs which once led to my apartment—and I kept out of the way of those that mindlessly went; some of those which rushed from the onslaught were those afflicted with skitterbugs and many of them either hobbled on blackened legs or—and this was rare—comrades or family helped to carry those which could not carry themselves. It was a baffling sight. A man carried a woman like a child (her toes had fallen off and her legs were black to the knees) and though he strode on with her, his own boots were caked with a mixture of blood and earth. An older girl led a young boy from the whirlwind of dust which was kicked up in the square; the boy’s eyes were whited, and his hands were curled to his chest, discolored. People, whatever duality there is, cared. There was not a drop of the apathy I’d learned and encouraged in myself.
I chewed like a mad dog through my bindings, and it was of little use; I yanked at the cord which secured my hands together and received rope burn in return. “Bitch!” I cussed the thing, but the flames in the sky were so loud, the bangs and vibrations from the artillery consumed all so it was like yelling in a barrel. I swung my hands out in front of me, feeling useless and felt a sudden urge to try again. I bit into the cord and repetitively motioned my jaw against the pressure of the cord, like I was going to saw through it with my teeth. Ha! Another yank is what brought my left hand free, but not without tearing a triangle of skin away from my wrist.
The cord dropped to my feet, and I looked around; a woman brushed past me, nearly toppled over my foot and I caught her by the wrist before she went head-over. She violently thrust from my grasp and screamed something at me. Another bout of flames burst from Leviathan’s maw as it circle-dove overhead. The heatwave from the blast exploded across my face so that I recoiled from the sky itself till I was on the ground, and I pushed myself from the earth and ran half dog-like from my place there at the wall. Where? It was hard to say where when every person that touched-by seemed to send me in another direction; in the madness, it was impossible to tell my course.
With time and effort, I found my way to the opening where the hydro towers were, three pillars which rose above Golgotha’s skyline, each one a testament to human resilience—engineers laborers toiled untold hours under Lady’s father to construct them. The hydro towers exploded into rubble as Leviathan slammed into them. Rock rained down as cutting shards and destructive boulders. A man lay beside my feet where he'd been pinned by the onslaught—white concrete kept him there by his chest—he gasped for air and blood already formed around him. In a moment, I looked away at the dying man, his half-whited eyes bulging at me. Meat hung from the left side of another man’s face as he cradled his head in his hand and moved like he was stoned and sat among the stomping feet; he slumped into the spot he sat and did not move till others came by him in a hurry and he simply fell onto his side like a toy animal.
The screams were too much. I looked to the towers, the nubs which had broken away like bad teeth against the red sky, and whole people fell alongside the rubble, limbs and showers of blood and Leviathan latched atop the towers and rocked its massive body so that the structures slipped directly from their foundations and tumbled over like pins. I ran and again there was nothing but chaos, nothing but mind-numbing wilder thoughts—it was grim and there wasn’t a place for coherency; it was all snaps of images.
In the mess of bumbling limbs, I pushed through to the hall of Bosses and there were people there already, rushing the stairs; the ground shook and I assumed it must’ve been the towers. The things demolished all in their path, and briefly, I saw the ramshackle structures which normally stood in their shadows come slanting over and people leapt from those places too and landed poorly and there was a cacophony of tremors through the earth—it felt as though hell should open.
The steps at the base of the hall were flooded and it was a fight to climb them as legs came high up from ahead and swiped at those behind and I kept my hands ahead of me to block whatever foot may come my way.
Wall men stood ready with their rifles at the tops of those steps and fired their weapons indiscriminately into the crowd. Bodies, big and small, piled atop the steps after a brief bullet dance and it came that I wasn’t only climbing stairs, but corpses; the warmth of their flesh as I clawed ahead remained and blood fog hung in the air. That grouping of wall men, casually lined before the doors of the hall were overtaken and they disappeared, their rifles cackled and came alive with muzzle flashes and the animal hands of the horde brought them to ground.
Us, the horde, funneled through those front doors and for a moment, in the thick walls of the hall, the outside world audibly disappeared; the blood and dust remained, but it was quieter save the shuffling feet and cusses of passersby I was carried deeper.
Those that worked the underground went quickly and I followed, and those ignorant followed for the sake of survival and it was not long till we stumbled into the Boss’s lair. With room, people dispersed like water through the tunnels and found dark recesses to tend their wounds or mourn whatever was lost and the explosive open air had been fully replaced by the quiet black oppressive mumbles of people taking stock of all those that had died. And all those that would. Every few moments, the walls shook, and dust fell from the ceiling fixtures.
A few haggard folks moved to the doorway which led to the damp room which led to the kitchen, and they slammed the door shut and latched it and began to check adjacent rooms for things to barricade the way.
“Stop!” said a man in the dim flickering underground light—I was surprised to see the man was me, “Leave it open! Others might need help.” I retraced my steps to the small faction that’d gathered there at the doorway. “You can’t just let them die out there. Let them in.”
“Shut up!” a skinny girl with her hair pulled back on her malnourished skull spoke gruffly; she choked, coughed—dust clung to her clothes—she’d been near the collapse of the hydro towers if I guessed. “Step off, or I’ll—
“Or you’ll what?” I shouted.
The girl put up her fists, two lumpy stones, and in stupid response I closed the distance between us. With speed, her fist met my nose, and I stumbled back on my heel.
Without hesitation, I brought up my own hands and landed a blow to her stomach. She craned forward, gasped on repeat, and took a knee.
Blood wet my upper lip, and I wiped it away with my forearm.
“Move,” I said to the others by the door; there were two: a woman and a boy that was nearly a man.
The boy charged headstrongly, attempted a kick and I easily shoved his small frame against the tunnel wall; the hard metal sounded a meaty thud against his body and the woman launched unseen at me, raked her nails down the back of my neck, and tore at my collar. I kept a forearm to the boy’s throat and rocked his head with my free elbow. Once he wept and spit red, I let him go; the boy slid into a sit and I spun on the woman, shoving her away. My left leg began to give, and I used the wall over the boy’s head as support. I swung at her with a wild claw and my fingertips grazed her nose as she fell away to the opposite wall.
“Stop it!” I shouted.
She launched at me, and my leg gave out under her tackle, and I stumbled half-on the boy, my feet kicked helplessly at her, and the boy regained his composure and began to crawl towards me. We wrestled and then the girl I’d knocked in the gut rejoined the fray. I was done. They had me pinned and spat curses at me and took turns shoving my head into the floor.
“You’re going to get us killed,” shouted the woman, “Are you stupid?”
I grinded my teeth and tried to throw them off; I was overpowered and easily pressed down again.
The overhead lights flickered with another deep earthy vibration and the trio let go of me in an instant—I came up swinging my arms like crazy and as I went to kneel before propelling myself to stand, a hand rested on my shoulder. I spun on the hand and was met with the black mouth of a 9mm pistol—that froze me fast.
The owner of the weapon—a wall man by the look of her fatigues—motioned for me to stand and I did. Her eyes were far off and nervous and the metal shook in her outstretched hand. “Against the wall!” she barked at us; she was small-framed and youthful but full grown, and I could easily push her out of my way if not for the pistol. We went to the wall, and she moved to the door while keeping the gun drawn on us. She watched us and glanced at the door. “It’s latched! Who latched the door?” She asked.
No one spoke. The other three looked to their feet; I initially refused to rat, and snorted blood—my nose throbbed and by touch I could tell it swelled already.
“Well? Why’s it closed?” she asked the question more like a desperate child than a person with control. “C’mon!” The 9mm rolled limply on her wrist as she said the word, like she was attempting to draw the confession from us with the motion.
“There’s an attack. They’re killing everyone,” said the boy.
The girl and woman nodded.
“Who?” asked the wall man.
“Demons, muties,” said the boy, “Big stuff. Everyone’s dying.”
The ground shook as if to emphasize his point.
The wall man studied us for a moment, lingering last on me and for the longest and she took a long breath and let the sigh out dramatically slow. “I know you,” she motioned at me with the gun, “You’re that maniac. The one that tried to murder everyone.” Her eyes fell then returned and she put her weight on the door while maintaining the barrel of the gun eye-level in my direction.
“I ain’t gonna’ hurt anyone,” said. I briefly thought about smiling but decided that’d look worse.
“How do I know that?” she asked.
“Yeah,” said the boy, “He tried to kill us already!” His voice cracked with adolescence; the blood I’d spilled from his mouth coated the front of his holey shirt.
The trio nodded all together—everyone agreed that I was a maniac killer.
“They latched it,” I said, “Cowards.”
A thump came from the other side of the door which frightened the wall man and she leapt from the spot she’d leaned—it took several full seconds to realize her gun went off; there was a flash, and my ears rang. I stumbled from the knot of people and slunk a couple of feet from the space by the door. The girl—the one I gut-punched—collapsed to the floor while holding the right side of her face. The women crowded the girl, panicked, the boy sprinted past me and disappeared deeper into the underground, and the wall man stood there with a wretched blank expression. There was a long moment which hung in the air; I could not hear and then it came back, and it was the girl’s screams I heard first.
Upon stepping to them, I saw the prone girl had been shot just so—through the cheek. Her eyes rolled from likely spinal damage; whatever the angle, it seemed to have ripped through irreparable nerves and she bled a lot. There wasn’t any hope for that girl.
“Well,” I said to the wall man, “Finish it. No reason to make her suffer.”
The girl on the ground writhed unnaturally and caterwauled while the woman by her side attempted to calm her.
Greater became the sound of the belabored hands on the other side of the door; then a hollow-sounding gunshot came from the other side; were they shooting the door? Or each other? Another round—human screams.
The wall man shook her head. “I didn’t mean it. It was an accident.”
I tried to hold the wall man’s gaze, but she didn’t seem able.
With speed, I moved to the wall man, reached for the gun which dangled helpless by her side—her initial response was to flinch, pull the weapon from my reach; our eyes locked and I clenched my jaw. She could’ve killed me. There wouldn’t have been surprise from me if she had.
She let go of the gun and I nodded, and she nodded and the woman kneeling by the girl threw herself over her. “Please,” protested the woman, “Please don’t!”
With the aid of the pistol, I was given space, and nothing was said. I mentally prepared myself for the ringing which accompanied gunfire in small spaces, even tilted my head away with my free palm up and took aim and the girl jerked once then went still.
With the ringing going and sound returning, the drumming on the door returned, as well as the quiet weeps of the woman; she crawled to the wayside of the hall, pressed her back against the wall and rested her chin on her knees with her arms around her shins. She didn’t rock to or fro and hardly made any noise at all. But the small and quiet sobs remained faintly there.
First/Previous
Archive

Jerry
"Good morning ladies and gentlemen, let's get right down to business. We made our first jump towards our next destination this morning and are maneuvering to our next jump point as we speak. Khan Karchara has fully briefed me on our plan, and now it's time for me to brief you."
Jerry triggers the holo projector with a brush of will from his neural implant, bringing up a display of a surprisingly earth-like planet with large oceans and very aggressive mountain ranges.
"This is Coburnia's Rest, named for a saint in one of the Cannidor religions who's said to have settled the world shortly after the Cannidor developed faster than light travel. It is the seat of the Hammerhands clan, based out of their fortress city, The Crucible. As you might guess from the names, the Hammerhands are less a clan or khannate in the martial sense and more the old school Cannidor trade guilds. They're off again, on again frenemies with Cannid Solutions and other Cannidor corporations, but their interests don't overlap that much since Cannid Solutions in particular is mostly export focused, or sell to the common citizen, as opposed to the trade guilds which tend to have tight connections to various warrior clans."
Diana raises two fingers. "So to clarify, you have to know the right people to buy a plasma pistol in Cannidor space?"
"Not quite, but if you want the top shelf gear you have to be part of a clan, or know the right people. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of non-clan folks that can and do buy from the guilds, it's just a more involved process than going to your nearest vending machine for a five credit laser pistol."
Diana nods and returns her attention to the display as Jerry continues his briefing.
"So I suspect, and Khan Karchara suspects, that to win the Hammerhands over we're going to have to show off our appreciation for craftsmanship and weaponry, and general support for the trades. I think our connection to the Apuk Imperial house will actually help us here. As we know, the Empress is a great patron of the traditional arts on Serbow, and Aqi and I left with some handcrafted statues, one of which is going to be a gift to the Khan. I hate to part with it, but I can always ask my mother in law to put the sculptor in touch with us for a custom piece."
There's a few chuckles at the slight absurdity of contacting the empress of a large star empire and asking about a particular artisan in her space... but at the same time most of Jerry's command team knew that the Empress would absolutely pick up the phone for that kind of call.
"Wichen and some of her top weaponsmiths and armortechs are going to be part of the contact team for this stage of the mission, which as Khan Karchara described is announcing ourselves and making friends Cannidor style. Winning over Khan Hammerhand will be a major political win in that regard, as most of the trades clans will come with their big boss, and they will influence their warrior clans, or at least spread the word."
Sharon signals for attention this time.
"Alright so that's first up to bat, who else are we going to see?"
Jerry nods. "Cannid Solutions for one. They're already friendly with the Undaunted and we've got existing trade deals with them, but friendly and being neighbors are different animals, so we'll stop by and say hi. More pressing are visiting with the senior leadership of the Crimsonhewers and Blue Blades 'free' clans. We have friendly relations with both groups just on this ship, and with other major parts of the Undaunted for the Crimsonhewers. More challenging will be Clan Kopekin, one of the larger Khannates, and the 'conservative' faction of the Cannidor people, and Clan Charocan which is the powerhouse of the Cannidor military with five hundred thousand power armored warriors across their sub clans. They control around four dozen star systems. They have notoriously high standards and we're expecting not quite resistance... but spirited challenges to our efforts to negotiate."
Diana smirks. "We'll just have to show them how we do business. No surprise the diplomats are giving us the hard jobs though."
A chuckle echoes throughout the room, before Jerry continues;
"That's exactly what's happening. A lot of the clans are just fine for being approached by the diplomatic corps, and Khan Karchara and a team from the Dauntless are doing the rounds there. We've been given the hard cases. We also need to contact the council of patriarchs if possible. They're a somewhat secretive part of Cannidor culture in terms of who and how they interact, so the general assumption is we're on a 'Don't call us, we'll call you' basis with them. Khan Karchara suspects they will call though, one way or another. In the meantime, we need to stress to all departments that every man and woman on this ship is an ambassador while we're on this trip. Now that doesn't mean they can't rough house or cause trouble. If anything encourage it, these are Cannidor after all... though if they do rough house a bit too hard, the men better be prepared to be up a wife or two at the end of shore leave on a given world."
Al Gray nods thoughtfully from where he's seated next to Sharon. "Makes sense to me Admiral, this isn't just diplomacy after all, we want the Cannidor to know us and like us, and you can't really do that with strict manners in the way, and that kind of behavior would be rather alien to the Cannidor, they're a passionate species to say the least, and have a tendency towards cutting through the bullshit to get to the meat and bone of a matter."
Sir David smirks, stroking his mustache as he considers the challenge at hand. "Better hope the lads don't get too enthusiastic about making friends with the locals, we have plenty of space left, but I'm not sure anywhere has room for five hundred Cannidor."
"Probably not." Jerry agrees. "That said, we want everyone on the lookout for opportunities. It never hurts to make friends just about anywhere after all, and friendships between men and women are more common among Cannidor, and men are more common in public. Cannidor bulls are generally larger than their female counterparts and have a degree of autonomy socially that men in many galactic cultures do not. The other major faction we want to track down is the so-called Sisterhood of the Void. They're the Cannidor's unofficial species-wide navy."
Sharon sits up a bit. "Don't the Cannidor generally disdain naval combat?"
"Yep, so as you can imagine the girls in the Sisterhood have a reputation for having a bit of a chip on their shoulder. Should be pretty easy to make friends there. Diana, I want Nadiri and some other intelligence agents to put out feelers to see if we can get in touch while we're in orbit around Coburnia's Rest. I-"
A sharp whistle cuts Jerry off as a message comes in.
"Admiral, a Cannidor civilian lighter has approached our sensor pickets and is requesting clearance to dock. They've apparently got refugees aboard. The leader wants to speak with you personally, and says it’s sensitive. Too sensitive for a comm line."
Jerry arches an eyebrow. "Well. Seems we've found one of those opportunities to make a friend I was just talking about. Control, clear them into an isolated docking bay, and have some security on hand nearby... discreetly."
"Aye aye sir. Clearing them in and making the arrangements."
The trip down to the hangar bay's a brief one, and as requested a security detail is waiting nearby with a few of the Crimsonhewers joining them 'just in case'. Jaruna was quietly briefing them and there’s a chorus of “Yes ma’ams.” before she walks over and joins Jerry.
"Glad you got here in time, gorgeous."
Jaruna nods.
"Ain't about to let you walk into a potential trap alone."
"Glad I wasn't the only one wondering. I would have come down here with Sharon if I knew it was entirely safe, but the scenario is an odd one. Cannidor refugees? And why us?"
"Could be a billion and one reasons. Maybe our reputation's spread a little bit already? Refugees happen to all people, if we've got a good rep for kicking ass and being kind in equal measure there's lots of people who probably wouldn't mind signing up. Most of them wouldn't be quite this bold however. Only one way to find out for sure though."
Jaruna nods her head at the door, where a shift to a blue light signals the bay doors have closed and are pressure tight. They slide open to reveal a worn down lighter of... questionable safety to say the least. This was a spacecraft suitable for only the truly desperate.
"What a hunk of junk. Even pirates wouldn't drag something like this around." Jerry says.
"Yeah no kidding, surprised this thing made it from wherever they came from in one piece. Certainly makes me believe the refugee story, this thing stands out too much for a hit squad or something and..."
Jaruna stops talking as the lighter's boarding ramp drops in jagged movements that suggest the mechanism was on its last legs. First out is a Cannidor bull, a large, proud looking man with what Jerry can see from here is a deep sadness in his eyes.
"Hey I recognize him. He's from the pirate base. One of the slaves." Jaruna strokes her chin for a second. "Yeah, he was the one the head slaver was holding hostage before Neysihen cut her head off... wonder what he's doing here? His family would be part of Khan Irgalas' domain I think."
"Guess we'll just have to talk to him. I bet he's itching to tell us."
Jerry and Jaruna meet the Cannidor man and what was likely his family about midway from the entrance to the hangar bay. Standing before them were some thirty five adult females, and another thirty odd children of varying ages.
The older children were all Cannidor, and stood nervously, clearly keeping close together for a sense of comfort and safety. There was a dullness to the color of their eyes that suggested incredible hardship at the hands of the pirates to Jerry. He'd seen eyes like that before. All too often in some of the harsher places to live back on Earth.
Interesting too was the small knot of non-Canndior children. A Snict, a Rabbis or two, a Phosa kit that was, for all the pain around her, an unstoppably cheery creature, her eyes taking in the details of her new environment eagerly as she made soft cooing noises from the hover cradle she was in.
For all the nervousness of the older girls, for all the pain in their eyes, they still were actively looking after and protecting what were probably their younger siblings... though the lack of mothers evident for them suggested a dark and painful origin for these innocent little darlings. Be they the children of slaves who didn't survive... or worse.
Before Jerry can say anything, the bull bows low... below Jerry's head level, which is just about getting on his hands and knees for someone who's probably just shy of eleven feet tall. Jerry exchanges a look with Jaruna. That type of submissive posture was extremely rare among the Cannidor... and suggested again just how much this man and his family had been through. By human standards he was literally coming begging on his hands and knees.
"Khan Bridger, I am Bonrak Makua of clan Bonrak. Your men and women when they rescued me and my family were most kind, and proved themselves to be noble and compassionate as well as skilled warriors. Some of the human men among your Marines nicknamed me Boone, and it would please me to continue to go by that name when I am among humans."
A very formal introduction. This was clearly going somewhere interesting but damned if Jerry could figure out exactly where.
"Raise your head and be welcome among us, Boone of Bonrak, as we welcomed you when we broke your chains."
Jerry starts. He had to take this nice and slow. Nice and formal. As formal as Boone had started this little chat.
"While I am pleased my warriors rescued you and your kin, and made a good impression upon you, what brings you to us? Did your Khan have some sort of message to deliver?"
Boone shakes his head slowly. "We are here on our own. Irgalas invited that evil into her domain and abandoned us to years of captivity until the pirates finally bit the hand that fed them, and even then she did not send her own warriors to our aid, the warriors our taxes allegedly paid to arm and armor in our defense. She instead called for foreigners. I... cannot forget my time in captivity, nor do I wish to. I was humiliated, broken, but I was able to resist in my way, and I learned... a great many things. Thankfully I was also able to rescue a few of my... daughters... at the end."
The way Boone said that particular word cottoned Jerry onto its meaning immediately, and he suppresses a wince as his stomach turns slightly, even as he increases his respect for Boone's character. It takes a lot for a man to not abandon children he fathered as a result of what had to be fairly violent and regular rape. It took even more to love them, as a glance their way to check on the well-being of the gaggle of infants and toddlers suggested Boone did. The way he'd said the word 'broken' too, told a story all on its own. This was a man who'd been through the ringer... but for all that, for all he said he'd been broken, Jerry saw a man who might have submitted, but break? Never.
A broken man wouldn't have gone to find his daughters born of the cruelty of his captors on being freed.
"We cannot remain on our world, and I have determined we cannot remain in the domain of Irgalas. I would put my fate and fealty in the hands of the man who led the warriors who affected our rescue. We have four warriors among my wives, and my eldest daughter made the cut a few seasons back... we were taken before she could leave us to report for her apprenticeship. We have a further five of my wives who are skilled soldiers, if not warriors."
Jerry nods slowly, starting to fully piece the situation together. "...I see. How were you taken, with warriors among your family?"
Boone's head drops and his voice cracks ever so slightly, far more emotion than the stoic Cannidor would usually display to a stranger.
"I used to have fifty wives, Khan Bridger. A further ten of them were skilled women at arms or warriors. We... lost them, and the rest of us were subdued with null."
"...I see. I am sorry for their passing, for your loss, and what you have endured. Please know... if your wives and daughter no longer wish to take up arms, as some do not after suffering the unthinkable, they do not need to if they do not want to. I am the leader of the Bridger clan, this is true. I am the admiral in command of this fleet, but I am not a Cannidor Khan, and I measure the value of lives in very different ways than the strength of a sword arm."
"Your wisdom and kindness do you great credit. I admire the will and philosophy of your Undaunted as well, but I wish to pledge my fealty, and the fealty of my family, to you and your clan personally, as if you were indeed a Cannidor Khan. You have given us our lives back, given us our freedom. Those lives are yours by right, you have more than earned the efforts of my family on your behalf."
Jerry nods slowly... that was really going in directions he hadn't expected, but he did have 'families' in his service already, and they could still aid the Undaunted and the ship... plus... his mind skips back to the shrouded world in wild space. They wouldn't be aboard the ship forever, and a healthy Cannidor clan would be a blessing to a new colony that would make Boone and his wives an unmatched boon all on their own.
He'd never have turned them away of course, but taking in refugees and accepting a pledge of fealty from a minor Cannidor clan was another animal entirely.
"I accept your pledge, Boone, and welcome you around our fire... we will wander for a time among the stars, but know this, I have a world in mind to settle on one day, and I would like you, and your family by my side when I do."
"We shall be there my Khan. Through thick and thin. Fire and blood."
Boone hesitates for a second, even as Jerry offers him a handshake.
"Though, you should know, this defection might anger Khan Irgalas."
Jerry smirks as Boone's massive hand dwarfs his own and they 'shake' as much as they can with that size disparity.
"Then the Khan should have been more upset when you were captured and abused for years. Welcome aboard Boone, ladies. You leave worrying about Irgalas to me. She wants to raise a fuss we'll deal with it Khan to Khan, and if she wants to scrap over it, I'll be glad to turn this ship around and face off with her in the squared circle personally on your behalf."
Boone's eyes widen slightly. "That would be..."
"Perfectly reasonable as the leader of the band your family's joining. You're my people now. Besides, spanking one bitch in power armor, or even going at it unaugmented's going to be a lot easier than fighting an Apuk battle princess, even in a regulated bout."
"...That rumor was true?"
"I think you'll find a lot of the stories about the Undaunted are true. Now, let's get you and your family and your goods situated. It might take a few days to see about permanent quarters, and I don't think we can get everyone in a single facility, but a decent sized central home with nearby quarters for everyone else? Easily."
"Whatever you give us will be luxurious compared to what we have endured."
"All the more reason to ensure you have actual comfort and what luxury can be spared on a deep space vessel, but please, no sense standing around in a landing bay when we can see about getting everyone housed and fed instead."
First Last

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV
“We should run, Benny,” I said. “It would be easy.”
As the crowd of possessed people flowed forwards, I looked into the eyes of my year-old golden Labrador — eyes weathered by the longest twelve months of our lives. I tried to spare Benny from the hardships of my life. However, whenever I left him with Fernsby, he was inconsolable. Only being by my side seemed to steady his restless, fragile disposition.
The Labrador bared his canines. White, drooling tips encrusted with cobalt. Given that he was so determined to cling to me, no matter the dangers I faced, I had to give him the tools to defend himself.
We faced a mountainous being, built of dirt and bedrock, at the edge of an empty town. A creature that had transfixed the townsfolk — leading them into the pit of its cavernous mouth. A cataclysmic horror unfit for human eyes. Though mine, burdened with the sight of the Oath, seemed uninfluenced by the terror.
A long road led me to that haunted town.
On the night of Evie's death, I was lost. Unsure what to do or where to go. I looked at the corpse of the police officer. The last guard of Earth. Not anymore, I reminded myself. And that was what sparked the idea to visit Whitlock’s house.
Arthur lived in a terraced build that, despite being surrounded by neighbouring homes, felt unbearably isolated. When I rang the doorbell, I half-expected and half-prayed that nobody would answer.
“Hello?” Fernsby said, opening the door. “Oh, Kane! Lovely to see you.”
I looked at the ground weakly. “May I come in?”
I had no other options. I didn’t have the stomach to sleep in my farmhouse’s bed — not in a room which had seen so much death and suffering on that same night. I didn’t even want to sleep in the same house.
I delivered the bad news about Arthur and Evie. Fernsby cried for an hour. I sat in silence, allowing Benny to console the lady with tentative licks on the back of her hand. I wish I’d been of more comfort, but I wasn’t present. Fernsby was heartbroken too, of course, but she was stronger than me.
The woman insisted that Benny and I sleep there. I only intended to stay for a night, but she wouldn’t let us leave. She was worried about me. Weeks passed. Then months. The kind lady reminded me of my mother, who died when I was only a boy.
Fernsby didn’t take no for an answer — she persuaded me to stay indefinitely, realising that I was in no fit emotional state to care for myself or Benny. Moreover, the wise woman had much to teach me about the ways of the Guard. She did not have a splintered soul, but she’d been the daughter of splintered parents.
“Gerald Fernsby,” The woman said, pointing at a faded, sepia-toned photograph on the mantelpiece. “That was my father. He found Arthur in an orphanage. Adopted him. Saw his splintered soul. Years later, Gerald met my splintered mother, Lucinda, and they had me. There were more guards in those days…”
My eyes widened. “Arthur was your brother?”
The woman nodded. “He was already seventeen when I was born — on the cusp of joining the Guard. I didn’t envy him, of course. As I grew older and saw the toll it took on my family, I tried to talk Arthur out of that life, but he was just as stubborn as a boy.”
I smiled. “Sounds about right.”
“He loved Dad. He wanted to prove something to him. Lucinda and Gerald were the last of their kind. They feared for the future, knowing that Arthur was all Earth would have left. And now…” Fernsby sighed. “It’s just you.”
“May I ask your name?” I asked. “Your first name, I mean.”
The woman gazed at her lap, eyes tearful. “I share my mother’s name. Lucinda. I… I told my brother to stop calling me that after she passed. I go by Fernsby. I wear the family name with pride.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
After nearly a year of living in the main town with Fernsby, I thought the pain in my chest might begin to loosen. It didn’t. Still, I managed to pull myself out of bed, on occasion. Benny was a source of motivation, and I was becoming close to the lady who cared for us. She didn’t just assume a motherly role — she became my mother.
“We could stay here forever,” Fernsby said. “But darkness is spreading, Kane. And, with every day that you hide in this house, it worsens.”
“I need to find splintered souls,” I replied, nodding.
The woman scratched her neck uncomfortably. “You need to accept that you may never find anyone to replace you. Arthur searched for years. We travelled far and wide. And we eventually settled on this small rock. He was growing old. Too old to travel. We were far from so many of the world’s horrors, but… Well, as you saw, darkness reaches all places.”
“Then why fight?” I asked. “If I were truly the last guard, then I’d only be buying time for reality’s eventual descent into darkness. One day, I will die, after all. Why delay the end?”
“We’re all just buying time, Kane,” Fernsby replied.
I shook my head. “No. I accepted this burden on the condition that I would find a way to become unburdened. That was the promise I made to myself. Once I’ve done that, I’ll hang up my hat.”
“And what becomes of you?” Fernsby asked. “You often speak of ‘joining Evie’, but I don’t like it when you talk that way. All life is precious.”
I ignored her remark. “I’ll return to the mainland and follow the clouds of the black realm. Will you join me, Fernsby? I don’t have the strength to do it alone.”
“You do,” She said. “All splintered souls do.”
I sighed. “Well, I don’t have the wisdom. I don’t know how to find others like me. You know so much more about the Guard.”
“I won’t deny that…” The woman smiled, pausing for a second. “Okay, Kane Foster. As I did with my brother, I will travel the Earth again. Just know that you have not faced the greatest horrors of the black realm… or even the greatest horrors of our world. After all, monsters and men overlap.”
“I’m ready, Fernsby,” I said. “I trust the sight. It reveals the blackness.”
“But you cannot see what’s within it,” She coldly whispered.
We packed our meagre belongings and left the tiny isle behind. The locals were sad to see us go, but they didn’t know the full truth of what happened to Arthur Whitlock and Evie Foster. Wolves tore the officer to shreds, and Evie went missing. That was the official story.
How should I explain the sight that the Oath of the Guard gifted? Well, when I look at the world, I see a sky marred by muddy splotches of red, throbbing clouds. They ink the atmosphere, sprouting in all directions. Hundreds of rips in reality. Indicators of entry points from the black realm. Too many to count. Too many to fight.
I still, to this day, never know what horrors await.
The year was 2017, and we were back on the familiar soil of the mainland. It had been a year since Whitlock knighted me. During those months, I felt the red storm-clouds grow in severity and span, but my deep depression rendered me unable to move a muscle. The world had long been falling into ruin, but the process was quickening without a protector.
“Why are we here?” Fernsby asked.
I had driven to a small town on the north-west coast. One of those woeful waypoints between places of interest — a town that most would miss on a map. And that is, of course, exactly the kind of place which attracts evil. A hidden corner of reality.
“You tell me,” I said. “I followed the cloud, but I don’t know what we’re going to find. Does any of this look familiar to you?”
“The town? No,” Fernsby shook her head. “The situation? Well, perhaps.”
“Situation?” I asked.
“Look a little more closely,” The woman replied.
And when I did, fear squeezed my abdomen like a tightening belt.
The town was deserted. Completely devoid of life. And a single flicker of movement turned out to be nothing more than a lone crisp packet, riding the coattails of a gusty breeze.
“Where is everybody?” I asked, driving slowly through the town.
“I don’t know, but…” Fernsby suddenly paused. “Kane. Drive.”
“What?” I asked.
“Find somewhere for us to get off the street!” My friend urged.
Wondering what she’d seen, I did as she asked and sharply veered into the car park of a nearby supermarket. Fernsby immediately threw the passenger door open, and I watched in confusion. Nonetheless, following her lead, Benny and I hopped out of the Ford Ranger. I ruffled my canine companion’s hairy coat and placed a finger on my lips. The most valuable trick I’d taught the year-old puppy was to be quiet — a safety net for direful situations.
“This way,” Fernsby urged, scurrying towards the supermarket’s front awning.
“What is it?” I asked, following quickly.
She placed a finger to her lips. “Talk at a low volume. We don’t want them to hear us…”
“Just tell me what’s happening,” I said, hiding behind the supermarket trolleys.
Fernsby peeked over the top of the carts. “Arthur and I saw this in a Romanian village. Like you, he was drawn to a village of people who vanished overnight. And, much like this place, we found dreadful things… Look up, Kane. Look at the mountain.”
“Mountain?” I replied.
I peered over the trolleys to face the hillside. Upon closer inspection, I realised it was more than a hill. A foreboding mound of the Earth’s crust rose three-thousand feet tall. A monumental spectacle formed not from tectonic plates, but from the blackened bowels of some nightmarish underworld. The black realm. And the unnatural formation bore an inexplicable black entrance in its front face. A doorway which spanned hundreds of feet. It shifted and swirled. A living doorway into the mountain.
“What is that?” I gasped.
“Near Brasov, during a harsh winter, we saw a mountain just like it. An impossible structure with a moving entrance. Arthur called it the gate to Hell, but it was worse than a mere gateway. The mountain was alive, Kane,” Fernsby whispered. “And it swallowed the townsfolk.”
“The cave… ate them?” I asked.
“We don’t know what happened to those who entered it,” Fernsby said. “We saved them, but they remembered nothing. This time, however, I fear we may be too late…”
I removed my weapon from its holster. “Let’s take the car.”
Fernsby held out an arm to brace me, and she softly shook her head. “The mountain can see things. We’ll travel on foot, and we’ll stick to the shadows. It could be watching.”
“Watching?” I asked. “How?”
“You’ll never get answers from the black realm, Kane,” Fernsby said. “Only more questions.”
Fernsby, Benny, and I stealthily slipped through the town, gliding between buildings and abandoned vehicles. As we neared the outskirts of town, the tall trees of the forest obscured the unnatural elevation with a gaping mouth. I felt uneasy about the mountain slipping out of sight, but I kept my eyes on the red cloud above.
When we turned onto the road leading towards the hulking apparition, Benny began to growl. Night was approaching, and street-lights were flickering to life. The Labrador didn’t like the dark, so Fernsby and I thought nothing of it. But as his growling intensified, a sickness started to fill my belly. My instincts were kicking into gear.
A hobbling man emerged. Other than the aggressive sounds of an ignored dog, there was no warning of his arrival.
I abruptly held up a fist to halt Fernsby and Benny.
The dog stopped whining as a shadowy figure walked into the darkened street. Night cloaked our location, but it did not cloak the man as he stepped into the glow of a street-lamp. He had the bloody, wounded eyes of a man who had looked upon a horror worth forgetting. And his lips stretched to the edges of his face — wider than humanly possible. Within his mouth, we saw a swirling mess. A white sphere with a red pinprick.
“An eye…” I mumbled, horrified beyond words.
I pushed Fernsby to the side, and Benny followed. We crouched behind a hedge and peered over the top. Heart throbbing at the surface of my throat.
The zombified man hobbled slowly past — his lips ever parted, like fleshy eyelids for the watchful pupil of the mountain. The enormous eyeball rolled listlessly around the man’s mouth, scanning the area for signs of life. Hunting anyone it had missed.
Eventually, the mountain’s slave wandered away, twitching as he vanished into the town.
“Did you see things like that in Brasov?” I asked.
“That’s a story for another time…” Fernsby shuddered. “Let’s move quickly. Whether we can save the townsfolk or not, we must rid this place of the mountain before its influence spreads.”
I nodded, and we followed the road out of town. It passed through a dense passageway of trees, leading towards the mountainous hill a mile up the road. Fernsby was a relatively fit and healthy woman in her fifties, but I sensed that she was struggling. A lifetime of trials had weathered her.
“Should we stop?” I asked, as Benny eventually slowed for us to catch up.
“I’m fine,” Fernsby wheezed. “Let’s…”
The woman froze, and I stopped walking. She was eyeing the mountain ahead. And when I followed her line of sight, I saw a distant crowd of people disappearing into its blackened doorway.
“Yes…” She whispered, answering an unheard voice.
Fernsby lurched forwards, and her walk was just as stilted as the hobbling man in the town. She had been claimed by the mountain.
“No!” I yelled, wrapping my arms around her.
My friend did not wrestle or fuss. She merely pushed against my arms, ever moving towards the abyss in the mountain. Benny was whining meekly, nervously watching the struggle between his two friends.
“Don’t make me do this, Fernsby…” I groaned, releasing my arms.
As the released woman freely walked towards the mountain, I swung the butt of my handgun at the crown of her head. She tumbled to the ground.
Benny whined again, uncertainly, but he did not protest as I dragged our unconscious friend to the side of the road. I rummaged in my backpack, found the climbing rope that Fernsby had wisely packed, and used it to bind her to a sturdy tree.
“I’m sorry,” I panted, checking my knots. “It’s for your own good.”
Benny and I continued alone, joining the rear of the crowd. My gut told me that the answer lay inside the monster’s mouth. I prayed for that to be a true insight of my splintered mind, and not misplaced or influenced instincts. Still, as darkness enveloped us, I accepted that there was no turning back. We became one with the mountain.
Benny moaned softly, and I bent over to stroke his head.
“It’s okay, boy,” I soothed.
“He sees you,” A voice whispered.
I shot my head around. The whisper came from a woman beside me. An unseeing woman with eyes not bloody, like the man in town, but closed. Everybody in the crowd was walking blindly ahead.
“He sees you,” Another voice hissed.
Overlapping voices chanted the same line repeatedly, engulfing us in an oppressive wall of sound. Benny growled viciously, and I removed the safety on my weapon.
And then a light emerged, silencing the crowd. A faint, grey, muted light. It danced like an unearthly flame in the clearing before the hundreds of people. Fire born of blackness, but somehow lighting the cavern.
“I see you.”
The final voice whispered within my skull.
I spun around to find myself abandoned. No crowd. No Benny. Alone in a carnivorous cave with a raging, grey fire. And, in the midst of the flames, there loomed a pumping organ. A singular living mound of grey matter, sinking into the dirt. It looked to me like a heart. Whatever the case, I knew one thing.
It was the lifeblood of the beastly mountain.
“What are you?” I asked.
“Your death, Guard,” The voice hatefully replied.
A hidden force hurled me onto my stomach, and Whitlock’s handgun escaped my grip. Seizing the opportunity, stony hands emerged from the floor of the living cavern. The urgent appendages clutched at the weapon, fingers curling around its metalwork. The mountain was quick. Determined. Desperate to leave me defenceless.
I lunged for the firearm, wrestling with the demonic hands — hands which started to pull me down too. I knew I would die without the weapon. I knew countless other people would die. And I thought of Evie. Thought of what she’d want. I even assured myself, in a moment of madness — perhaps a brief flash of my life before my eyes — that I’d seen Evie in the grey fire.
Renewed courage surging through my body, I snatched the firearm from the monstrous limbs and pulled myself to my feet. Loaded handgun hanging limply by my side, I eyed the abomination. The horror that devoured me. My mind returned to that bloody, sand-swept village in Nigeria.
I was a soldier, and I didn’t think. I fired.
The cobalt bullet punctured the flesh of the creature’s vital organ, and the grey cavern — the mountain’s belly — shifted in agony, unleashing an almighty bellow. A death cry.
A waterfall of darkness smothered me, draining the air from my lungs and plunging my body into an endless absence.
The early morning sun warmed my skin. When I woke, I was lying in the back of my Ford Ranger, wrapped in a blanket beside an eager Benny. Upon my stirring, the joyous boy licked my face, and I chuckled.
“You did it,” Fernsby said, legs dangling off the back of the Ranger.
I shot upright, and I was shocked to find that we were still in the supermarket car park — a busy car park. People were passing by, disapprovingly eyeing the man sleeping in his car. The town was brimming with life, as if there had been no evening of unimaginable terror. Life continued.
I cleared my throat. “Fernsby? I tied you to a–”
“– When the mountain released us, I made quick work of untying your knots,” She quickly interrupted. “Military standard work, Kane. Impressive. But Arthur and I faced many dangerous situations over the years. You don’t live through such things without picking up some skills.”
“Right…” I started, massaging my throbbing head. “Well, how did I get here?”
“I asked a couple of townsfolk to help carry you. Told them you were my drunk son. You were lying in the grass at the foot of the mountain,” She said, nodding to the landscape beside us.
When I looked over the edge of the truck, I saw a rolling hill, barely a few hundred feet in height. No longer a mountain at all. It was a tenth of the size. And there was no sign of the monstrosity that had plagued the town the night before. The red cloud had vanished. I felt lighter, somehow. A tremendous weight had been lifted.
“We need to leave,” Fernsby suddenly barked, bouncing onto the car park.
A convoy of white vehicles was heading down the main road.
“They’re here.”
Part III
dominiceagle

Blaze 3: Demonic Arc 3: Soul Snatchers²
Phil and Fasha have stopped trying to figure out Blade Sync. This is uncharacteristic of them. Fasha continues to train CJ. Off topic-the characters in Blaze do not wear the same attires all the time. Sid is with Keira Saja. Keira" You're doing a lot of thinking. Maybe you should relax a bit.(she gives him a massage)." Sid" That feels rather pleasant. I'm still thinking about that day with the incidents. It seems we have a new type of demons. I'm very excited but also nervous at the same time. I don't know what their capable of." Keira" Seeing you excited makes me excited." Keira's body freezes up. Sid" Keira come on! Get up. Move!" She snaps out of it. Keira" The dark feeling is back. It's around here somewhere." They are in a deli. They walk outside. Rischardo appears from the sky and is going to strike Sid but Keira yells at him to move. Sid guards his blade but barely. Rischardo's blade is large and heavy. A raven bird is shown flying around, during the scene.
Rischardo" I never got your name." Sid" My name is Sid Iucan." Rischardo "I'm Rischardo. Rischardo Inies(in-ees). It's a pleasure to meet you Sid. I'm surprised you blocked my Dark Demonic. I want you to know that I love worthy challengers. I hope you strong enough." Sid" Challenge you say. Well it just so happens that I'm ichin to for a fight as well." Rischardo laughs. Sid" What's so funny." When I first layed my eye on you, you were frozen still now you stand before me all without fear." Sid" Well that is because when I saw you, you had this intimidating look. But now I'm ready." Rischardo" Are you sure?" Sid" Certainly." Rischardo." You better. Well then let's go." He takes out his blade and so does Sid. How does Sid expect to battle a Demonic King? As Rischardo swings his sword, he catches Sid off guard that his big blade is actually swift and must watch out for. Keira is getting worried about Sid's fight. Rischardo is kicking Sid's ass. Rischardo" What's the matter, I thought you were worthy." Sid" Hey I am. I'll show you. I know that I can't beat you now. I just want to prove to you that I've become stronger. To me this fight is an exercise." Rischardo" That's what I wanted to hear. An opponent who isn't afraid to fight me. Let's keep this going." Rischardo launches a dark ball blast toward Sid. He is sent back with great force while still blocking. This was one of Rischardo's regular moves. Rischardo battles with only one hand. His fighting style. Sid uses the Solar Ball but wasn't fully powered. Small damage done. Rischardo does the attack again but this time it scatters into smaller pieces. Sid hasn't done enough to Rischardo. Sid is already tired from fighting.
Rischardo" Is this all you have to offer? I'm not even going hard on you. You can quit if you want to save your embarrassing ass." Sid" There's no way this is happening. I can't get him. I don't back down from anyone so that means YOU! Let's go!" Rischardo" I see the passion in your eyes." The downward spiral continues. Sid thinks about the Blade Sync technique. He summons the Soijett and forms a barrier around him. He merges the blades and is successful in one attempt. A shine occurs and a new blade is unveil. Sid's blade is now like Rischardo's, large and heavy. Sid is ready to fight but Rischardo" That's enough for now. When I show up again and I will, I want you even stronger. You got me." Sid" I will be." He leaves. Sid tries to carry his blade but it's pretty heavy. Sid brings the blade to Eyashi and the others. Keira" I'm glad you're OK. That was a pretty close battle." Sid" You're right. Let's get you home." Sid appears with his newly blade and shows everyone. Eyashi" Look who figured it out." Fasha" That's impressive Sid." Phil" I could do that if I cared." Sid" Yeah yeah. I fought that Demonic King Rischardo during my Blade Sync technique. He was pretty good. He told me he wanted to fight a worthy opponent and I excepted his challenge. I fought him because I wanted to better myself. After I finished the Blade Sync, he told me that he will see me again and wants me stronger next time. He walks away. The next time I see him I will be better. That's my word." Eyashi" That was a mouthful. So you want to fight the demonic king in a rematch. Now remember Sid, we're a team here." Sid" You're right. Now I do need help with this blade it's quite heavy."
Eyashi" So what are you going to call your blade?" Sid" That's a good question. I could call it Dragon Soijett or Dragon Sajettus. No wait the Reaper Sajettus sounds cool. Yes that's it, Reaper Sajettus. I like it." Next day at school. Mandi sees Sid by himself. Has a look on her face. She is on the 2nd floor balcony. Mandi" Oh who will save me." She jumps and screams. Sid saves her and is holding her in his arms. Mandi" Oh how romantic of you. Carrying me like a super hero. How touchy." Sid" What are you doing. Trying to expose me." Mandi" I was trying to see if it was true about your power. I won't tell Keira what you were doing." Sid " What I did. You're the one who jumped. Your sister should have never have told you(Fasha told Sid and Phil already)." Keira appears" Oh it's you(sarcastic). What are you doing with my man?" Mandi" Your man was holding me." Keira" You're just lying!" Mandi" Why don't you ask your man." Mandi has a large grin on her face. Her and Keira are head to head with each other. Sid" Come on girls. Stop fighting over me." Next moment. Phil is with Fasha and MJ is coming over. She is trying to talk to Phil. MJ" So Phil you want to go to a dinner tonight with me?" Phil" That's nice but I'm kinda seeing someone." MJ" Seeing someone like who?" Fasha rubs on Phil's arm and says" Isn't he fine?" Phil" She's so unbelievably beautiful. Just look at her." MJ" What the hell is going on here. You and Fasha." Phil" Isn't it blatantly obvious we're always together." Phil and Fasha have there arms around each other. Cumi" Am I seeing things. Never thought that was a thing."
Sid, Keira, and Mandi acknowledge Phil and Fasha. Sid" Wo look at this Phil and Fasha." Fasha" Aren't we a good couple." Sid" It doesn't matter who she is with. Everybody's knows I look better than Phil." Phil" You're just delusional. I'm better." Keira" my Sid takes the cake." Phil" Enough of this. It's about time for the kiss." MJ screams out Nooooooooooooooooo!" Phil" Sike just kidding. He laughs and says" You should've seen the look on your face. You thought I was going out with Fasha. It was just a joke. I got all of you." Fasha" That was funny." Phil " MJ. That dinner that you mention, it's on." MJ" Really. You made this whole thing into a joke and you want to now go on a dinner." Phil" Hey are you going to keep talking or are we going to get this started." While nobody is around, Phil kisses MJ. Phil and MJ are going out/girlfriend, boyfriend. During their relationship, Phil and MJ will have a casual one. They will argue and get back together. Next scene. New characters are shown. Geo Kazy(kah-zee)had his own series but the characters fit in Blaze perfectly. The other series I made had got updates/rewrites. Geo/Comic Book Geo was the only one not to. Geo was created before Blaze and back when Naruto was my favorite anime. The only time I wrote for Geo was the bio for him and the layout of the story. Geo and Blaze were supposed to crossover.
Geo's backstory is shown. Note. Most of my old characters were majority black. The main characters are all black and majority of the people are as well in Geo. Born: April 22, 1996(Earth Day). Born in Hong Kong. His father is Hong Kong and his mother is Japanese. Dad: Fēng (fang) Li. Preferred as Fēng Dullahan. Mother: Gaia Ryanoko(rie-ah-no-ko)Kazy. Or Rya. Her full name. Geo has yellow spiky hair. Fēng has a brown ponytail. Rya has yellow hair. Geo is an earth style user. Geo's family are all gifted in martial arts. The story takes place in Hong Kong. Geo is 12 and with his mom, Gaia. Fēng is not there at the time. He's in Japan. Meanwhile a group comes by and takes him away. Gaia tries to stop them but it is of no use. They know he's good in combat. They use him to fight for money. Geo's life wouldn't be the same. He then became more about violence. He was undefeated for a year and a half until he lost. Eventually, when he was 14, a man named Corroshi Setse(from Japan/ black as well) he helps him escape from prison. He takes him to Japan to live with him and train. While in Japan, he sees Eyon Yoshi, Yolmmo Usay(oo-say)(name used to be Yolmmi but Yomi is a female name), and Domay(doe-may)Usay(Yolmmo' younger sister). At first it is hard to get along Eyon and Yolmmo but eventually does. Like usual teams will argue and fight. He also had a hard time with Yolmmo being overprotective over his sister. He would earn his trust and go out with Domay. Girlfriend/boyfriend.
Geo and and his friends are entered in different tournaments all across the world. Geo was once undefeated again but lost. 15-1. The series is all about traveling to different tournaments. Team name is Team Earth. There will be a little differences added. Background story is over. Character breakdown. Geo moves: Flying Subruno Takedown(a quick flying rush dash through the person's body)(the move ends when you're in the air and deliver a kick, forcing the person's head to the ground. Both people might be the air. The move comes from Ninja Gaiden but without a sword. Might use two feet during the kick), E.F.S.(Electrical Flaming Sphere). Similar to Rasengan. Is combined with 3 styles. The sphere part is made of wind. He absorbs the elements around him into his hand. Works for other elements to. Red color. Fighting styles: Dragon Style and Jeet Kune Do(same as Bruce Lee)(black Bruce Lee). Forms: Red Power Form/Mode. Red aura comes from his body. Every attack is 50 percent plus. Red Power Attack. Is a rush move while in Red Power Mode. Earth Form/Morph. The Red PoweAttack comes from the Kaioken. The Geo characters can't fly but only people with that specialty. Geo will master every element. Eyon Yoshi. Hair color: orange/tied up. Styles: fire and lighting. Moves: Heroshi Gun/Heroshigun. Is formed with two hands. He puts his hands together and runs toward the person. He puts his hands on the person's stomach or chest in a Kamehameha like fashion. Hands will still be together when doing the whole thing. Looks like a person running with a blade. The person will be strucked with a lightning beam going through their body, followed by many smaller versions randomly. Powerful effect. Similar to the Galick Gun and Chidori. Lightning Cutter. A blade made with lightning. Can be two.
Forms: Fire Flames(powerful flames cover his body. Appearance changes). Dark Flames(stronger than regular Flames and covers body). Blue Flames. The most strongest yet difficult Flames/ form to master). The flames are used for defense. Lightning Morph. Hasn't mastered Purple Lightning. Learned fire from Corroshi. Yolmmo Usay. Hair color: Red. Hair looks like it's been chipped off. Tall and the muscles. Styles: water and ice but mainly water. Forms: Water Rage Form or Raging Water(hair becomes green). Masterd the Green Water Style. Water Morph. Ice Morph. Domay Usay. Hair color: pink. 1 year younger than Yolmmo. Style: wind. Form: Raging Wind. Hasn't mastered Blue Wind. Corroshi Setse. Hair color: white. Styles: wateice, earth, fire, wind, and lightning but fire and earth are his favorite. The only person to master every color change in the elements. Tairon(tie-run) Yoshi. Hair color: brown. Eyon's big brother. Style: lightning. The Yoshi's style is lightning. Eyon always looked up to his brother. During a mission, Tairon went off and never was seen again. Eyon vowed to find out what happened to his brother. Other characters: Korr Yoshi. Eyon and Tairon's cousin. Hair color: orange. Apart of Team Earth. A Goofy character. Uses lightning. Sodum Hydro. Hair color: white. Is a villain from a group called the Hydro Corps. Is the leader. Coracoona or real name: Charzie Anderson. Hair colopr: black. Hydro Corps member. Not black. Dornymious(door-nee-me-us) Ryeno or Rhyno. Hair color: light black. He was experimented on by the military. They used the genes of a rhino and something went wrong. Half of his body became deformed but sometimes will be fully deformed. Big and strong. Charges at people. Not black. Hydro Corps member.
Kunesuke Atara. Has glasses and has light blue hair. Likes to read. Black. Was appart of a tournament but lost. Became friends with Team Earth and joined them. A lady's man. Shune Tuche(too-she). Hair color: blue(outer layer)and yellow(inner). Hydro Corps member. Wears a special suit and mask including. An excellent hunter. Sez Unemori(oo-neh-more-e). Hair color: teal. Uses gadgets to fight. During Sez's fight with Eyon, he tried using gadgets to cheat but backfired. They battled after the tournament was over. He then became good. He's actually a crossover character. He actually debuted in Blaze IV. There was a character in the Geo Series that had the same name. So I chose to keep him in both series. He was in Geo first then made his way to Blaze. Su Lin was apart of the Hydro Corps but Eyon talked her out of it and then she joined Team Earth. Chinese and not black. Hair color: brown. Han shou. Steroid Man. Hydro Corps member. Kyune(kee-yoon) Jin. Hydro Corps member. Ishani Sharma. Indian first and last name. She has Indian skin tone. Not black. Wears a navy blue turban. Yolmmo's girlfriend. Hair color: black. Idea- Mind Controller. Dwells into the person's mind and uses their memories against them. Making the mind attack it's owner. The characters will appear one way or another. Backstory is over. Now we're in the current time. Corroshi is with Team Earth and says" I think we're done here. We've been all over Japan but there still one place we haven't been to yet." They all say what. "And that place is Togyu Manji" Team Earth are set and ready to travel to the area. They are currently in Osaka Japan. Western Japan. They're currently stationed at home. Everyone is excited. They have been apart of 18 tournaments but only won 8 of them. They aren't yearly tournaments but some are. Each member has won one.
Corroshi and Team Earth have made it to Togyu Manji. Corroshi gets a look around. Corroshi" Now I got to enroll you guys in a school." Sid is with Keira. Demons appear and they are sneaking around. They don't see them hiding. They jump out and have swords. Sid turns around. They are trying to cut Keira. It looks like it's too late but suddenly Geo uses the E.F.S. and is effective. Sid" Hey it seems that there's more people like me." Geo" Hey you. Tell me what those things were I killed." Sid" Those were demons." Geo" Wait you have demons here!" Keira" Demons are the norm around here. Do you know what demons are?" Geo" I've heard about demons in books and stories but never saw one in person before. There's a lot of stuff here." Sid" You can't be from here, so where are you from and what is your name?" Geo" I was born in Hong Kong but raised in Osaka Japan and I'm Geo Kazy. I think I'm going to like it here." Sid" I think you should join us. You'd add a great deal." Geo" That sounds awesome and all but I actually came with my whole team. So what kind of powers do you guys have? I have different styles." He launches a fireball. He also uses an earth style move where he appears behind Sid and looks like the ground(earth like). Geo" I can use lightning and wind too, well sort of. Hey you know that move I used on the demons?" Sid" Yeah. What about it?" Geo" It's actually a combining of three styles in one. It's call the E.F.S. Electrical Flaming Sphere. The sphere part is made of wind. I'm only absorbing the energy from in the area. So I technically can't use them separately. So what is your power?" Keira" I don't have powers." Sid" My main style is Fire then lightning but me and my friends mastered every element." Geo" Every. Where I'm from it is rare to do that. Can you demonstrate that for me?" Sid does.
Geo" That was awesome. I take it you haven't mastered black or blue Flames yet." Sid" I've never heard of it." There are more level element colors to learn. Blue is highest level of fire. One of my friends have mastered all of the color changes of fire." Sid" Wow. There is so much I haven't learned yet." Geo" The only person I've seen used all of the element colors is Master Corroshi." Sid just like our Eyashi. He's a very fast learner and has mastered every element." Geo talks about Corroshi and other things. Corroshi raised him and the team(not all just Eyon, Yolmmo and Domay). The others chose to live with Corroshi under his teachings. Sid exchanges some information like Eyashi and what he's learned. Souls, sword summons and other things. Geo ask Sid what school he attends. Geo and his team can see souls. He challenges Sid to hand to hand combat. Sid loses and understands that Geo is the real deal. He is even better than Fasha's combat skills. Sid tells the others about his encounter. He wants to see him again. The next day at school, there are new students at school. It is obviously Geo and his friiends enrolled into Togyu Manji. After school is over, they go to Eyashi's place and discuss a few things. Team Blaze and Team Earth are now working together. Next scene/area. Conithio Town is shown. The Justice Drivers are shown in action. Strider Is saving someone from a demon. They are all together. They hear a man tell them that he lost something and needs assistance. They follow. He's telling them it's around the corner. He has a sneaky smirk. He tries to attack. Julmbo blocks his punch. He isn't a human.
Smoke suddenly appears and there are more people this time. Smoke disappeared. A tube comes from the one Julmbo was fighting. The others are like mindless zombies. They are still hard to fight. They can't even put a scratch on them. The Justice Drivers can't win and retreat just like the others. Spike thinks that they are dealing with those new type of demons. They see people and try to warn them. The people stare in a creepy fashion and just like last time. One of them uses their tube on regular civilians and sucks their souls out. Their lifeless bodies fall to the ground. They can possess the people as well. The Justice Drivers fear for their life. They all leave the area and enter Togyu Manji. Strider sees Zushi and stops her. Strider" It happened again." Zushi" What happened again?" Julmbo" This is the second time our home has been infiltrated." Spike" There was this man who asked us for help and we did but was nothing but a trick." Tinn" We ended up seeing one with a tube. More showed up but were like zombies or mindless people." Strider" We couldn't win so we had no choice but to run." Julmbo" Those must have been the new demon breed. They did something unforgettable. The one with the tube was able to suck multiple of souls at once. It was a scary sight to witness first hand." Zushi" Wow that's something new. Noone was able to get close to fighting them. Well at least we have something. That's good. Let's get this information back to Eyashi."
Sid is with Geo and MaXx. MaXx" So this is the kid you were telling me about. He looks familiar." Geo" Familiar how? MaXx" Your last is Kazy right?" Geo" That's correct." MaXx" I got it. Fēng Lee or better yet Fēng Dullahan." Geo" Wait you know my dad." MaXx" He was apart of my group when we were Youngsters(teenagers) called the Red Calibur." He shows them pictures. MaXx" I never thought I meet the guy I was friends with son." Next scene. Eyashi has gotten the information. The next day. Eyashi and everyone is having a meeting. Eyashi" It seems we're dealing with something completely different here. They have the ability to take shape of people which will make it harder for us to see them. Very clever. And also have to watch for that tube. Yikes. I guess we are in a sticky situation. Here's the plan. We are going to be doing a little bit of experiment. We are going to be traveling and we're going to keep track of if we've encountered soul takers. We're also going to be keeping up with dates. Write down dates of the Soul takers. Like if there were a lot on Mondays and etc. Need to make sure there is a patern or not. Judging from the demons, they might be trying to throw us off. Remember they are much intelligent now. We are not going in groups. It seems too obvious so everyone is traveling in a unit. It'll be fun." Everybody is talking about Eyashi's plan. Some agree. Some disagree. First area is Conithio Town at night. Today is Monday. During their investigation, they found nothing unusual. Corroshi thinks they should think outside the box. He wants them to remember that the Soul Takers could be anyone here. They have to find a way to get through the people without hurting the real citizens.
The plan is to stick with an area for a few days. It is morning now and nothing happened the entire night. Very boring time. A voice screams out for help(male). Corroshi" Now we know that is a trap. Let's lure them in." Eyashi" One of us is going to be bait." They all argue but Zushi goes. A sexy female. "Help. Help!" Continues. He comes out of a building running. He sees Zushi and bumps into her and they fall. Hey says" Hey watch it.." He gets a closer look at Zushi and begins to inner monolog." Look at the size of those puppies. She's got it going on. Let me get a closer look." Out loud talking now. He says" I can't see. Woops." He falls on Zushi's boobs. She hits him very hard and says" You did that on purpose." He has a knot on his head. Eyashi comes out and says" He's got to be real. What were you running from?" Man says" It was these creatures who sucked the life out of people. These areas are getting emptier and emptier. Before you know it, it'll be deserted." Another person appears and is out of breath. Man2" There are still people left. That's good. I have to see if my wife is still alive." Eyashi" Wait!" He disappears. A few minutes later, a woman comes in and asks about her husband. Her voice changes in mid sentence. Zushi turns her around but is a different person. She became man2. Zushi is startled. Everyone appears and sees. A tube appears. They don't attempt to fight but Eyashi got some sample. The man is taken to safety/ different area with them. The others talk about the incident. The Soul Snatchers can take shape of the people they sucked souls from. This is going to be even harder. Kikia examines the sample. The tubes are considered the target. Would it be possible to get it? Would this effect them in any way.
A different day. They're going to Uketa Sada(near a graveyard). This time it didn't take long for them to show up. This time they look more demon like and a little different. Lots of Soul Takers in the area. Everyone is in the same area but have split up. There's a spot where they'll meet at or their headquarters. Team Earth is shown. Corroshi" We got to kill these bastards." Domay" If only we could find any. My feet are tired. Can't we take a break." Yolmmo is eating chips. Su Lin" You're always munching." Yolmmo" So I just got a little hungry(eats like Choji). Is there a problem with that?" Domay" Yeah there is! Can't you go one mission without eating? It's getting annoying." Yolmmo" What are you going to do about it?" Domay" Why I outta!" Corroshi" Now guys. Knock it off. I swear it's an everyday thing with you guys. Wait a minute. I hear somethings." A dog runs out of the bushes and startles everyone. He is barking very loudly. The bushes start to move again. Tubes(2)come from the bushes but only one Soul Snatcher is there. Ishani Sharma" It has more than one tube. What will we do?" The Soul Snatcher says" You're dead." The tube tries to get her but Corroshi grabs it and holds it but struggles. Corroshi" Go. I'll hold him. Just get out of here." They want to stay and fight. Eyashi and the others appears just in time and cuts off his tube. He doesn't stick around but retreats. This was appart of the plan. Hide, wait then strike when least expected.
Fasha" Great plan but how are we supposed to get them to reveal their tubes. We just discovered there are more tubes." Haden" Fasha is right and besides this is taking hell of long." We haven't done anything of importance yet." Sid" Not to sound like a doubter but in a realistic viewpoint. Even if we were able to somehow kill one, how would we do it again?" Spike" I'm ready to do something else. This is getting rather bored." Geo" I agree." Everyone argues.
Eyashi" Now. Now. Remember this is just an experiment. We're only testing ourselves." Zushi" I got an idea." Eyashi" What is it?" Zushi" We could be bait. The Soul Takers are going to want our souls, so we need to be around lots of people. Wait then strike." Eyashi" We have to figure out how to take out the tube or tubes first. On step at a time Zushi." The conversation continues. The tubes aren't visible and the Soul Snatchers make them come out. The tubes comes from the back of the head, neck(back), and on the back of the body. The back is the target now. How to get to it? It is hard to even see one. While going back, Eyashi notices that nothing has happened to Togyu Manji. He thought it would be targeted by now. It must not be there target but what is. Togyu Manji is a very large place. Wouldn't they want to target a spot with lots of souls? However, it would be too obvious for the Soul Snatchers to appear in Togyu Manji. Two weeks later. Hausada was the most targeted area and Tuesdays were the most frequent days. More info was talked about. Now it's time to find out where their headquarters is at. The areas are slowly becoming deserted and tainted.
Next scene. The Soul Snatchers Headquarters is shown. Sushun(soo-shoon)but was disguised very well. Big man's name is Shi(death)(the strogest). He looks demon likes. The woman will be named Suiko(sooo-e-co). The second male's name is Nintoku. They all look demon like. Other members: Jito(female), Jimmu(male), Daigo(male), Masako(female), Jenmei(jin-may(female), Meiji(may-g)(male) and Koken(female). These are the ten strongest Soul Snatchers. Rade and Kiroku are there. Rade" I told you working with us was going to benefit. Because of us, this area is secured." Rade knew how Eyashi thinks. He chosed not target Togyu Manji right away. The Soul Snatchers appeared in those areas on purpose. When they return to those areas, it would be completely different. This is a very genius plan. Shi" I'm starting to like you guys. You're starting to impress me and it takes a lot to impress me." Nintoku" I think it's time to show em to the boss. He knows about your deeds and is itching to meet you."
Kiroku" That makes me feel quite special." Masako" What are we supposed to do now." Rade" We'll stick to the plans. We don't want to give them what they want. There's some people we have to watch out for. In the Togyu Manji area, there's some people who would be able to bring us down. We're not going to let that happen. They even got this mastermind named Eyashi Mohoto. He's a very powerful man. I have to think outside the box to beat him. He did take out the Dark Phantom leader." Suiko" Wait he took out Kissiske Umidune." Kiroku" You see me and him are one in the same. He's far powerful than I am but all I have to do is outwit him. We'll see who gives in first." He begins to do a villain's laugh.
They're going to the boss. Underground area. The ground begins to shake. A large Soul Snatcher appears and is sitting on a chair of some sort. Looks lile Grand Elder Guru from DBZ but more uglier, fatter and bigger. Shi" Hey boss. These are the ones I've been telling you about. That's Rade Ahbar and Kiroku Jirumani. Our boss's name is Bosu(means boss)." Bosu" It's a pleasure to meet you. So you've been helping the demons. This is very unusual for outsiders to aid us. What are you two really up to? You better not turn on us or we'll hunt you down."
Kiroku" No. No. We're big fans of the demons." Bosu" That better be it. I'm getting hungry. How much souls did you guys get? Give it to me." He absorbs/eats the souls and uses them to make him stronger. He gets bigger as well. Without getting the souls, he grows weaker and will eventually die. This is the Soul Snatcher's task, to feed Bosu. Despite his size, he is still the strongest Soul Snatcher and has more skills than the others. Rade" I know this place where there's a lot of souls at. It's at Togyu Manji. A very large city that has lots of spirit energy and souls. You'll be able to feast like never before." Bosu licks his lips and says" That sounds good, no delicious. When do we start?" Kiroku" We can't go yet. There's this guy we have to watch out for. He's pretty powerful. This guy took out the Dark Phantom leader." Bosu" He was able to take out the Kissiske but I'm a completely different breed." Kiroku" We know how strong you are but it's all about laying low. We can't allow them to catch on to us. So we have to wait for now then strike when they least expect it." Bosu never leaves the spot. He stays at the headquarters at all cost.
A few weeks have passed. Things are starting to change. The Soul Snatchers are appearing more frequently. They are even appearing in least shown areas. Conithio Town is now deserted. The only people in the areas are the mindless kinds. Everybody trains. They are even able to kill a few Soul Snatchers. Everyone is resting up but at night the Soul Snatchers appear in Togyu Manji and throw everyone off. It seems the plans are intact. Earlier, Eyashi and the others were sneaking around and were able to kill a couple. They were even able to get the tubes. They weren't planning on protecting Togyu Manji because they thought it wasn't going to be targeted yet. Eyashi is not with everybody. He's only with Team Blaze, Zushi and Draum. They chosed to stay in separate spots(in Togyu Manji). Eyashi" Dammit! They got us! After all of this time." Meiji" Well well look what we have here. You must be Eyashi Mohoto." Eyashi" How does a demon know my name?" Meiji" I can't tell you that. It would ruin the fun. This area is pretty large and that means we'll be sucking the souls out of your people." Eyashi" Why don't you fight me?" Draum" He's mine." Eyashi" What's come over you?" Draum" I've been ichin to fight." Meiji" It doesn't matter who wants to fight. Let's go." Draum vs Meiji. Draum launches quick fireballs but he eats them. Draum punches but Meiji catches his fist and sends him to the ground forcefully. While still grabbing, he stumps his arm repeatedly and Draum screams in pain.
Meiji takes Draum's arm and twisted it, snapping it. He laughs. Draum stops screaming and starts smiling. Meiji" What the hell are you smiling at?" Draum's arm grows back. Meiji" What are you exactly? You're no human." Draum" I'm half man half machine or better yet I'm a cyborg. I was only playing around with you. My limbs are damn near indestructible. It's time for you to see what I am." Meiji" Near indestructible limbs. Oh what. Trying to scare me. Well it won't work." Draum spits quick rockets this time. Meiji summons his weapons and uses them to defend himself(dual blades). Meiji" He's able to use rockets!" Draum" I told you I'm a cyborg. Weren't you paying attention?" Meiji can't seem to catch a break. He uses an ability that makes a hole appear where the person is standing. The person appears elsewhere. He is able to avoid Draum's attacks. Draum is now on defense this time. Draum launches a large missile. It scatters and splits into smaller pieces. They lock on then charge combustion fire. "Lock On Barrage." New move. It destroys the move and hits Meiji/the other Soul Snatchers in the background. Meiji" This can't be. There's only one way." He uses a tube and tries to take his soul but he blocks it. Another tube was used. He launches an arm and uses it to hold the other tube. A total of 6 tubes were used. One of tubes comes from the ground while Draum is distracted. The scene isn't shown. What will happen to Draum? Did he survive? More characters are set toi0 appear. Find out next time on Part 3. "To Be Continued"

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Jumpy_Try1401
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Previous BoRU
Thanks to u/czechtheboxes and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
[New Update]: I think my (23M) best friend's (24M) fiancée hates me and I don't know why.
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH -----
Trigger Warnings: possible controlling behavior, verbal and emotional abuse, homophobia
Original Post: March 16, 2024
I never thought I would find myself in a situation like this, but here goes. My (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why. For the purpose of this story, I'll call him Finn. A little backstory, Finn and I have both known each other since we were in 6th grade. We grew so close from their that he had grown to be a part of my family, and I a part of his. Around the summer of my 10th grade year, I came out to my parents as gay. Let's just say that they didn't take it too kindly, and I ended up disowned, but that's a story for another day. (Gonna start it off and say I've never had or teased any romantic feelings towards Finn.)
To make a long story short, Finn's family happily took me in and treated me with nothing but kindness. When Finn and I graduated from highschool, he went on to work under his father while his parents helped me pay to attend college. During my time away for college is when Finn met Sara (27F). I believe it was my 3rd year of college when I finally got to meet her. It was during a family dinner. I greeted her warmly and tried to make my best impression because she's my best friends girlfriend. When I went to shake her hand, she looked at my hand in a weird way. I don't want to say disgust, but I'm not sure how to describe it. I felt a little bummed, but it was whatever. Maybe she is just nervous.
After that school break, weird things started happening like me and Finn's messages randomly being muted, or my number randomly being blocked on Finn's phone. (At one point it got so weird that Finn contacted AT&T to see if it was a glitch or something.) Obviously I'm guessing it was her, but I would never accuse someone without any hard proof, plus I'm like 2 states over at the time, so I literally have no proof.
Things got even worse when I moved back home after finally graduating from college. Because I have so much respect for their relationship, I never tried to make plans with Finn. If we went out at any point, it was because he was sure he had nothing planned and he would set the date and everything and then let me know. This worked fine, until it didn't. I want to clarify that we got to hang out about 2 or 3 times a month, for about 3 months.
After those 3 months, that's where things started getting weird. On the days where Finn and I planned to meet, Sara would call him and have some sort of situation literally about an hour or less from the time we would be meeting. She would say things like she's having car troubles, she's feeling ill, or she is lonely and needs him. I never felt right trying to stop him from going to her if he needed to, he would say he didn't, but just to avoid anything I'd cancel on him just to make him go see her. (Surprise, there would be no car troubles, and all of a sudden she felt so much better). Eventually Finn and I stopped hanging out as much because it just got annoying, for me at least. We would see each other at family gatherings, but that would be about it.
Fast forward to January of this year, Finn proposed to Sara. Everyone including myself had been over the moon for them. Who wouldn't be happy to see their best friend tie the knot with someone they love. Let me be the first to say this has been the shittiest time ever. To start, she puzzled everyone by immediately making a post on her Instagram story with a picture of her and Finn. She captioned the picture "Better than the rest." with a kissing emoji. This led me and Finn's older siblings asking him if he cheated, because who's "the rest." Finn responds that she's just too excited to make sense. That made no sense to me either, but not my circus.
With their wedding coming up soon, their planning has been nothing short of a nightmare. Her family for some reason doesn't want to help with the cost of the wedding which isn't their obligation so I get it, but we as a family decided to all pitch in and help them get the best wedding possible. After everything had been covered there was only one thing left. Who would be in the wedding party. We knew there would be one since she talked so much about it.
Finn only had one request and that was me being his best man. She initially agreed, but after a few weeks she came back and said that me being best man wont be possible because she wants that spot for her brother. This caused some troubles for them, and things were almost called off until I had just talked to Finn and was just like...it's fine, just let her have it and enjoy your day. Don't let me be the reason you lose what you two have. Of course I was upset about it , but I would feel worse if things went south because of me. I would say that was my biggest mistake as now it feels like she is flexing her power.
Recently, during another family dinner she brought up seating and shower us a few pictures. Why would I not be surprised that she sat me at a table away from those I would call my family. When she showed us, I got a few glances from Finns parents and siblings, and damn I might be a doormat, but I was just fine with it if the wedding still got to happen.
My problem is I just want things to be fine if not good between me and her. I don't know if it's because I'm not related by blood or she's homophobic or whatever it may be, but I don't want this to be a constant thing. I hoped that with time, things would get better, and they really haven't. I'm hoping things get better after the wedding, but I'm not even sure. I don't want to talk to anyone close to us and start something, and I'm really considering going low contact with Finn if this solves the issue, but I don't really know what I'm doing here. How do I go about this while protecting my relationship with Finn's family, my friendship with Finn, and not destroying his relationship?
TLDR: My (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why.
 
Update #1: March 16, 2024 (same day, 15 hours later)
So I wasn't expecting to update so soon, but I had something unexpected that happened today.
Link to previous post: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/1fhEFmwed4
So yesterday I posted about problems I'm having with my bestfriends fiance. After receiving a ton of great advice, I figured that I would at least speak to one of Finn's family members or Finn himself tomorrow since that's when we meet for dinner, but I was a bit surprised when Finn dropped by my apartment today.
I was spooked at first with me making the reddit post and thinking that he had seen the post and was here to confront me. Luckily he said that he was just in the area and decided to stop by. There was the initial small talk you do when someone comes over and then a good 20 minutes of us daydreaming about the food we are having tomorrow (LOL), but then I remembered someone saying I should show Finn the reddit post.
I learned that the more I waited, the more damage there will be when things come to a head. I guess he noticed my hesitancy since he asked me what's going on. As much as I wanted to say nothing and keep letting the issue stay where it is, there would be no point of me coming on here asking you all for help. I pulled up the reddit post on my laptop and showed him the post. He read the post about 3 or 4 times, which made me nervous again since time was going on and on and he had just been staring with no reaction for so long.
After a while, he asked "Is this it?". I can't even explain how fast my heart sunk. I thought he was about to downplay the situation even though I would say that the two of us have always been understanding of what eachother are going through. He read through the comments of the post before he sat the laptop down. I want to thank you guys so much because the conversation that followed had me floored. I would say all most everyone who gave suggestions were correct in someway. Anyways the conversation went like this:
Finn: Have I ever made you feel like this was something you couldn't tell me?
Me: That's a very difficult question to answer. Not directly but your happiness played a huge role in me just brushing it under the rug.
Finn: You should have told me this long ago. Don't you think I would want to know about this? I thought things were going fine.
Finn: There is a difference between you being considerate of my relationship with Sara, and you letting me be stupid enough to let her run over you and our friendship.
After that, I had to ask him if he really saw nothing going on. He said he felt really pissed about the entire wedding situation, but he chalked it up to her just wanting her day to be how she imagined it. I made sure to remind him that it's his day as well, which us honestly something I should have said back when I was removed from best man. I then asked him would he have idea why she acts the way towards me. I had never met the girl, so it puzzled me how she could be so ehh towards me.
Me thinking it would be a little petty reason that could be easily fixed, Right??? WRONG!! Whoever said something about a drunken confession or something of the sort, you would be right. Apparently during my time in college, Finn got closer to some people who went to our high school. This led to him meeting Sara as well. He said that before he and Sara started dating, it was one time where they had all decided to hang out and had been playing some sort of drunken confessions game. I've never really been to parties like that, so I dont know how those work.
Anyways, he started rambling for a bit before I asked for him to get to the point, in whatever fucked up way it happened, he remembers saying something along the lines of "I wish (My name) was a girl." Not blaming him, but there is NO WAY you said some crazy stuff like that. I almost thought he was joking, but he had a stone face.
No wonder she hates me, and that makes me wish I would have spoke up sooner. I told him how whatever he said was not okay. I also told him that if he knew he said something like that, out of everyone, HE should have known that she would feel some kind of way. He tried to excuse it by saying that he thought no one would remember and it was just something that would pass. Let me clarify that Finn and I have NEVER had anything going on. I don't even know why something like that would be said, and it still feels unbelievable to me. Now I can sort of understand where Sara is coming from, but then again

1. If this guy were to say something like that, why would you even go after him?
   
2. If you do end up with this guy, why are you going after the person who he said those things about like it's their fault.
   
3. If there was a problem that obviously Sara felt some way about, she should have talked to him or even me and we could have spoke about it. (Says the guy who sat quietly for this long, I know.)
   

Anyways, to sum up the rest of our conversation, we ended up understanding that there is a problem that at least he and Sara need to address. He told me he'd call later today after they sit down and have a talk. Every so often, I laugh because what kind of confession is "I wish he was a girl." Dude....no. Before anyone asks, no, I didn't ask him if he still felt that way because that's just a can I don't want to open. I'll be sure to update you all whenever he talks to Sara and hopefully we can find some sort of common ground.
 
Update #2: March 18, 2024
So...I guess it's safe to say that the wedding is off. On Friday I came here with the problem of my bestfriends fiance hating me. After getting a ton of great advice, I was able to speak to Finn when he dropped by the next day. We spoke for a really long time, with some really weird things being said (check previous update). Anyways, after Saturday, Finn told me he'd call me that night after he spoke to his fiance, Sara. Well that never happened.
Sunday dinner rolled around and everyone came by. I knew he had spoke to Sara because she was giving me a death glare from across the table. Alright, now you're starting to piss me off. We get through dinner and now everyone had just been in conversation. At some point, Finn pulled both me and Sara outside to the backyard. There was a long silence, but then Finn cleared his throat and then the conversation went something like this:
Finn: Do it.
Sara: I already told you, I'm not doing anything.
Me: What does she have to do?
Finn: She needs to apologize about everything so we can all be fine.
Sara: I did nothing wrong. Your relationship is weird. (My name) is weird. His relationship with your family is weird, and I should be the one making you apologize.
Me: I get why you're upset, but things Finn said in the past are not my fault, and I'm sure there are some things people say where they're drunk that they don't-
So at this point, Sara got red in the face and just began screaming. Watching this play out in real time, the first thought in my head was "She needs a fucking exorcism." Most of what she was saying couldn't even be understood, but I made out things like "He fucking knew" and "Why would you tell him you said that, I knew you two had something going on."
W. T. F. So at that point Finn's parents and siblings had finally came outside because of Sara and they asked what's going on. I try to explain, but Sara just starts screaming that I'm a "dirty dog that needs to be put down." I guess to cool the situation down, after a little convincing Finns mom is able to get Sara into the house. Finns sister also went inside with them, leaving only me, Finn, Finn's older brother, and Finn's dad outside. I explain my side of the story and then Finn explains his side. We spoke about the talk Finn and I had at my apartment on Saturday. He received some teasing for the weird comment he made about me, but the conversation became serious again. Eventually Finn's mom and sister come back outside. They say that Sara is in the bathroom cleaning herself up. His mom starts the conversation with "Are you two messing around?" I'm. Fucking. FLOORED. I fill her in on everything she is yet to know. I tell her that I've never flirted, kissed, or doing anything else that was not platonic with Finn.
I'm guessing Sara was listening in through the backdoor instead of just coming out, because as soon as the words left my mouth she came out screaming at me that I'm a liar. I ask her at what point have I ever made her feel like I'm chasing after Finn. I mean I'm helping to fund their damn wedding. Finn parents are trying to help her understand that everything is being misunderstood, but she isn't having it. She kept yelling until the point where Finn had to pull her aside. It started off as a yelling match between them, but then things finally began to calm down and I thought she understood and we could talk it out. RIGHT???? WRONG!!!
Color me fucking surprised when she walks back over like everything is fine and slaps me. After the long period of silence and shock, I was just done and I was like "I'm out." Finn and Sara begin yelling at eachother again but at that point of couldn't have cared any less. I head back inside to grab my things cause I'm done with the situation.
Eventually Sara's screams at Finn go from calling him names to her saying "I'm sorry" and "give it back". Finn yelled at her to stop. Hell, even I was scared and I didn't even do anything. He then said something like "I let you have the wedding how you wanted. I've never given you a reason to doubt me.The fact that you're just yelling and screaming here like a toddler is honestly something I'm not looking for in a partner. You make up this fake scenario in your head, and why?? What good does that do. You're pissed about a comment made at a party before we even dated, and that is crazy to me. You won't apologize. You won't listen. I should took the ring the moment you slapped him. Nobody in this house has EVER disrespected everyone else like you've done today."
Finn came inside as well, and began grabbing his things. He told his parents that he's gonna sleep in his old bedroom upstairs for a few nights which they were fine with. I knew Sara had driven over with him, and before anything, no matter what they went through he should make sure he gets her home safe. After I spoke to him about taking her home he agreed. Everyone had finished grabbing their things around the same time with me, Finn, Sara, and his siblings all heading to our cars at the same time.
The entire time, I was surprised but not interested when Sara began apologizing to me. I mean, I didn't even want her to apologize in the first place, but just treat me with the kindness I offered to her. Why did we have to go through all of this for you to realize that you're just being downright nasty. I'm not sure if she's been cheated on in the past or if it's some kind of trauma or something, but it's also not for me to figure out.
Finn ended up dropping her off, and I'm guessing he called me by the time he got back to his parents place. I didn't even answer because I was just tired and the entire confrontation drained me. It definitely could have went better, and I hoped that this would be something that could be easily fixed, instead it destroyed a relationship which I feel shitty about.
It's Monday after noon and there is still no word on if Finn and Sara have even spoke to eachother this morning. I haven't spoken to anyone this morning either, but Finn did send me a few tiktok videos. I think it's just sad because even with the way she treated me, I think their relationship was a beautiful thing, and it socks that things such as jealousy and misunderstandings can be silent killers to a relationship. I thank you all for the advice and for pushing me towards talking to someone about this. I wish things could have ended differently, but as some of you said, this should be a wake up call towards both Finn and I. I'm not sure what will come of everything. Maybe they will reconcile eventually, but I think for now the wedding may be off.
Relevant Comments
MissMew0417: I just want to say that I have a lot of respect on how you handled the situation. I'm sorry that things devolved the way that they did.

OOP: Thank you. I feel bad as well, but more so for Finn since his years long relationship just went up in flames.

StrongTxWoman: She is a homophobe and she hit OP. So many eye witnesses. OP can press charges literally.
Don't accept those fake apologies. She just wants her wedding. She is not sorry. She is only sorry she caught red handed.
I am sure her family and friends will believe her lies. She probably is one of those MAGA people.
Good riddances.

OOP From what I know about her, half of her family doesn't talk to her. I don't know why tho. Also, I also felt like she was a homophobe after she made the dog comment. I doubt she'd be back around us after Finn's parents have seen that side of her. They messaged all of us (excluding Sara) explaining their dislike for the situation and how they think it's best if Sara doesn't visit.

Beneficial_Syrup_869: You’re amazing for the way you respect their relationship and handled that mess last night! The fact that she thought slapping you in front of a group of people who love you and for them to agree to kick you out of their lives because the delusion she created in her mind is mind boggling? She doesn’t not seem mentally well, especially if half her family doesn’t talk to her.
I don’t believe their relationship is as good as you think it was, her mask started slipping a while ago. Hopefully, for the sanity of your family and Finn they part ways, cause imagine how jealous she’d be if he gave a baby attention.

OOP: If there is something mentally wrong, I hope she can get the help she needs. I do wonder if her family cutting her off ties in to the mental issues. If that is the case and the wedding is off, I hope they use the money from any refunds they get to get Sara therapy or something.

malYca: Why do you feel bad? Your best friend was spared marrying and possibly breeding with an insane covert narcissist. You guys should be celebrating. You're too afraid to rock the boat and that's going to bite you more than help you. If you had addressed this after the first instance, I bet it wouldn't have blown up like it has. Your people will always value you, even if you don't value yourself. If they're with someone that hates you, that's going to be a deal breaker for them and that's ok. Stand up for yourself more.

OOP: I would say it's a bittersweet feeling. I'm glad her mask fell as people say, and Finn saw her for who she was if he hadn't already. But also I'm never happy to see people who go through things like this.

 
Update #3: March 20, 2024
Update 3: I think my (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why.
Hello Reddit,
It has been almost a week since my initial post and I can't thank you all enough for all the advice. Even the people who called me out on being a doormat, thank you. Since my last update a lot has happened.
I want to start things out by flat out saying that their isn't a chance of reconciliation between Finn and Sara, and after reading everything and really taking a stepback to see how this situation was definitely a blessing, I'm happy with the outcome. Since the major fallout, me and Finn have spoken a lot about not only being open and honest with eachother about things that bother us, but to also establish boundaries for our future partners (Not that either of us are getting out there.)
Yesterday evening, Finn and I went over to the apartment he shares with Sara to retrieve his belongings. When we got there, Sara wasn't home so that was a relief. It was a bit of work to get all of his things bagged/boxed up and put in the rental, but luckily we got everything.
I actually live in a decent sized apartment, so Finn is gonna stay with me until he settles everything with the place he had with Sara. Finn along with the rest of his family ended up blocking Sara, with Finn blocking her after they spoke a final time this morning. I was around during the conversation and there was another moment where you all really helped.
I'm guessing Finn did take notes from you all because he spoke for a long period about how she has things that she needs to work on before looking for a relationship with some of them being the ability to love herself and dealing with her mental health as well as she is clearly not in a good state. There was a lot more, but that is just to make a long story short.
She asked him was there really no chance that things could work out between them. He told her no, not only because of what he had just said, but because she disrespected him, me, and the rest of his family. He told her he should have put his foot down a long time ago, and it's just as much his fault as it is hers that things got this far. He told her that he wished the best for her, and when she is ready for a relationship and the right time comes, then that will be that. There was a long moment of silence and then she ended the call, and he blocked her not long after. I'm not sure how the wedding cancelations and all that good stuff will work, but I'm sure we'll handle it.
As far as me and Finn's relationship goes, I feel really happy. I feel like I got my best friend back, and it's crazy how you don't realize how different the energy in friendships become when you are in situations like that for that long. I can admit that no, none of this was NOT my fault, HOWEVER I could have spoke up about it not only for myself but for Finn as well.
Maybe the two of us along with the rest of the family should take a trip somewhere, taking time for ourselves. I think this whole situation has been very eye opening for both me and Finn and there needs to be some changes, ESPECIALLY with us and our communication, because as you all said, it wouldn't have gotten this far had we spoke on it. That's pretty much it.
There wasn't a crazy fight scene where the police bust in and take Sara away. I think that Sara DEFINITELY needs to get her shit together, but we also have to better ourselves as well, and some of you have made me very aware of the pushover I can be. :) You've all given me so much guidance and that really warms my heart. I actually cried a little, because almost a week ago, I felt so hopeless.
This will most likely be the last update, but before I go I'll answer some of your questions that I felt shouldn't go ignored. Also, I read EVERY. SINGLE. COMMENT. And even if I didn't respond, best believe I took it to heart and I am forever grateful.
Okay, First Question...
Why do you think their relationship was a beautiful thing? I can't say my words were misconstrued, but I will say that I expressed myself and my thoughts the wrong way. What I was trying to convey was not the beauty of their relationship, but the beauty of relationships and the idea of relationships as a whole. I hope both Finn and Sara find their person when they are ready.
Why do you feel bad? This was another case of me expressing my thoughts poorly. I don't feel bad that Finn got out of that situation. I'm happy that he's out of that toxic environment before things got even more messy. What I felt bad about was that there was a situation to even begin with, and if my best friend his hurting, I can't help but feel bad.
Being a rebound for Finn? No. Absolutely not. If there were to ever be something between me and Finn, it would be under full understanding that we are in it for eachother. Not saying that it would ever even happen, but what good would a rebound do besides hurting eachother? Once again not claiming to have feelings for him, but even if I did I wouldn't use this ass a chance to start anything with him with emotions everywhere.
The last time I heard from my family? A few months before I started college which was many years ago. I wish them the best, just not around me.
Have you and Finn cleared up what your relationship is meant to be? Yes, we definitely have, especially with the help of you all. I made it known to Finn that it's fine to feel however you feel towards me or anyone, but you have to understand who you are and what you want out of relationships with people whether it's friendships, lovers, etc. Someone said platonic soulmates and that definitely suits us, haha.
Why did Sara's family disown her? That remains unknown. If I ever find out, I'll let you all know. I wish her the best as well, just not around me.
Has Sara ever physically abused Finn? No. He has said that they argued consistently, but there was never any hands laid on one another.
Did you file a police report against Sara? No I did not, but do not worry. Since it all happened on the back porch, it had been picked up on the camera and I have it saved to my phone if I ever need it which I doubt.
How have your partners felt about Finn? Never had one.
I think that pretty much wraps it up!! If anyone has any more questions, I'll do my best to answer. If this wasn't the update you expected, still treat me kindly. Once again I love you all so much. ❤️❤️❤️
Relevant Comments
PtarmiganTzar: It’s as happy of an update as we could hope for. I hope he will be okay. A thought though. I know it is great to have him around and be best friends again, and your support is incredible! But because your relationship was the thing she latched onto to cause her mental break down of the relationship, maybe him staying with his family might be best for a bit? I would just hate for her to start spreading rumors that y’all have to awkwardly fight off

OOP: Finn works under his dad, and they work every day. Also, I live a good distance away from their apartment, and my area has great surveillance.❤️ I will take your concern into consideration though.

hoeticxjustice: How did Finn’s parents feel? Considering they watched you guys grow up

OOP: They both, along with Finns siblings, have always been always been supportive of any decisions Finn and I made. When they were told that things were off with Sara, they completely understood, just like when Finn decided he didn't see want college, or I decided I did. They truly are amazing❤️

 
Mini Update 1: March 24, 2024
Hi to those still out there!! :D A little has happened since everything went down. We are currently at a vacation cabin, and the picture is a trail that we had took a walk on. Finn is doing really well and his parents as well as the rest of us are really happy to have him around a lot more. I've lived in the city all my life, so to see those huge hills is crazy, haha.
Also, I guess Sara has been up as well. Since Finn and Sara basically have the same friend group, he saw a picture from someone else's page of Sara out at the club. He seemed indifferent to it, so I guess he's also learning to let it go if he hasn't already. Finn's parents and siblings leave tomorrow afternoon for either work or other reasons, but Finn and I decided to stay at the cabin for a while longer.
https://imgur.com/a/hxPwFmI
 

----NEW UPDATE----

Mini Update 2: April 24, 2024
Hi everyone!! I know it's been a while, a little over a month since you've last heard from me and a few people asked for an update.
Nothing much has happened. I finished playing elden ring, which was a pretty fun game (besides the parts where I raged). I also thought I may have met a guy, but our views on things were a bit too different for my liking, which is okay.
Finn in still staying with me, and the only problem is him wanting to use my Xbox 24/7 (I'm kidding lol). I really don't know much about Sara. I heard she's with a new guy, but eh. Rumors are rumors.
A funny thing that did happen was Finn and I getting scolded by his parents once we got back from the trip. The whole communication is key thing that they literally hammered into our head the entire trip.
I would say that things are going good. I hope you are all doing good as well.❤️

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I My S/O and I were each others first , we met at 17 & 16 years old, we’re now 30 and 29. We started as friends who loved each others company , everything was easy. Natural progression, we stayed loyal to eachother, bought our first home together, got engaged , a dog , married then finally our dream home late last year. My head was turned recently by a colleague who I felt immediate chemistry with. None like I have ever felt before in the time I have been with my S/O, and that’s a lot of women I’ve seen go by My type physically and possessed a lot of traits I felt my partner lacked, we had a great conversation and we’d always get caught looking at each other intensely. The weirdest thing is she quit only two weeks into our job ( we started the job at the same time), apparently found something more compatible with her uni degree. The strangest thing is after my initial infatuation passed and I got over it, I now recently keep crossing paths with her accidentally , running into her by chance several times, it’s crazy.
This had made me spiral out of control . Unfortunately I have never truly found my spouse breath takingly attractive physically, however she has the best personality anyone could ask for in a partner. We have regular sex, but part of me feels like that’s just because I’m a horny person and it feels good. As narcissistic as it sounds , I am a good looking man and wonder if this has caused me all this grief of wondering if I really settled in life.
I have been an up and down mess trying to use logic and reason to talk myself down, however I feel I’m starting to lose the battle . We talked about children the other day, and I felt a knot in my stomach. However I think I may be interested in children with someone I felt physically in love with?
Im aware the grass isn’t greener and I’m the bad guy here etc, however I really need some outside perspective. I’ve lost 7kg in 2 months from stress and am up and down like a yo-yo. One minute convinced I should leave and not settle, the next wondering why i would turn my life upside down based on the appearance of someone.
I have tried counselling, family and friends and all have good things to say. However I need some unbiased and honest reflection of what my situation could be Am I crazy trying to chase the impossible, and thinking of divorce to free not only me but my partner or to look for a life partner who I look at and think my heart is content ?

My SO and I were each other’s first, we met at 17&16 years old. We’re now 30 & 29. We started as young friends who loved each others company, everything was easy. Natural progression we stayed loyal to eachother ,got engaged , got a dog, bought our first home together and then finally our dream home together late last year. My head was recently turned by a college who I felt immediate chemistry with. None like I have ever felt with any other stranger in my 13 years with my SO, and I have had a lot of interactions with attractive women over the years. My physical type exactly, and possessed traits I felt were lacking with my SO. We had great conversation and we’re always caught looking at eachother . The weird thing is she quit two weeks into the job ( we started at the same time). I considered this a blessing in disguise as it had already spun my head. Fast forward 18months and I am now crossing paths with this woman all the time by chance in public- it’s crazy.
This has made me spiral out of control and re think everything with my SO. Unfortunately I have never found my spouse breath taking with physical beauty, or my type at all really. However the traits she possess as a partner are the best any man could hope for. loyal, funny, successful in career, kind, generous etc We have regular sex, but I’m worried that’s just because I’m a horny person and it feels good. As Narcissistic as this sounds, I am a fit and good looking man and can’t help wonder if this grief is my inner self telling me I settled for someone I wasn’t into physically too early.
I’ve been an up and down mess trying to use logic and reason to talk myself down, however I feel I’m starting to lose the battle . We talked about children the other day, and I felt a knot in my stomach. However I think I may be interested in children with someone I felt physically in love with?
Im aware the grass isn’t greener and I’m the bad guy here etc, however I really need some outside perspective. I’ve lost 7kg in 2 months from stress and am up and down like a yo-yo. One minute convinced I should leave and not settle, the next wondering why i would turn my life upside down based on the appearance of someone.
I have tried counselling, family and friends and all have good things to say. However I thought what would be the harm running this past my fellow sufferers. Am I crazy trying to chase unicorns and destroy my life as I know it or am I entitled to look for a life partner who I look at and go- how lucky am I?

This is my first post ever and it’s gonna be long folks, so grab a snack and buckle up.
I (F24) and friend (F24) have been friends since middle school. We were very close, lived with each other twice, and even considered each other family as we had been through a lot of life’s struggles together. Even though we were “best friends” I have always had to be the one who maintains the friendship if that makes sense. Like when we were living in different cities, I would have to be the one to text or call her maybe once a month and she never reached out first. Her reasoning was always “you know I struggle calling and texting if I don’t see the person every day” which has always rubbed me the wrong way because she has had numerous romantic partners that she very enthusiastically makes sure to keep in touch, make plans, FaceTime with, etc. (even if they were an asshole which even she’s admitted).
My job is very busy in the fall so I was only able to reach out to hang maybe 2 or 3 times between August-December with 2ish FaceTime calls. One of which I playfully complained that she never reaches out and she responded with the same “you know I struggle with that”. A monthish goes by, and I called her for a quick chat in January. She then revealed she had a new boyfriend of three weeks that she met at a bar and we planned a double date. I was a little hurt that she hadn’t said anything for so long but I smiled and hyped her up because yay! New love is so exciting!
The guy was nice and a little over a month later was my birthday. The week of, I decided hey, I haven’t celebrated my birthday in years and it actually lands on a weekend. I’m gonna throw a little get together! Cook for my friends, play games, have some drinks, just a chill but fun night. I knew inviting her was a stretch because she’s voiced that she’s not fond of hanging out with me when other people are involved. Something about how she feels weird that I’m friends with them but she’s not so it feels uncomfortable? My other friends through my job are very welcoming and she’s hung out with them before and even said she had a good time but idk shes wishy washy with if she’ll join or not.
She said she’d come and I even offered to invite her boyfriend, who at that time she’d known for a little under two months. Later in the week, I invited the two of them to the pre-party lunch that my boyfriend and I were having and she said they would join. The day of I check in with her about the evening because she said she wasn’t sure if her boyfriend would come. I will admit this made me nervous because she has always been a person who REALLY focuses on her relationship when she’s in one (she has also admitted this to some degree).
She informs me that they’ll do the lunch but neither of them will be coming to the party because her boyfriend’s mom wants her to meet her new boyfriend. I’ll rephrase because it makes me laugh a little: They would not be attending my first celebration in YEARS because she needs to meet her boyfriend’s mom’s boyfriend.
I didn’t care that the boyfriend couldn’t come, obviously, so my first text back was “is it a special occasion??” Which she responded with “well she really wants me to meet him”. I asked if [redacted] could go to that by himself and got the same response. I then texted her how I was disappointed that she was willing to not attend over something like that and her responses were pretty much “sorry, can’t do anything about it”. I ended up FaceTiming her and elaborating.
I told her that I was disappointed that she was willing to upset me over her boyfriend’s mother. Like it wasn’t a serious occasion and she’s known those people for less than two months, and me for 12 years. I remember saying “I’m not going to force you to come. I’m saying that if the roles were reversed I would just reschedule something like that so I could show up for my best friend.” She kind of just blankly stared at the camera and awkwardly said sorry a couple of times. I was hurt because I have done a lot for her and have shown up for her in a lot more ways than she has for me. Looking back, she would say to me a lot about how selfish she really was and I’d always say no because she does have a kind side to her but after all this and some other stuff, I really see it now.
My boyfriend and I got ready to go to lunch and were on the way. My stomach was in knots because I’m just so hurt but not surprised by the situation. I eventually text her, cancel lunch, and essentially say I’m upset because she clearly just did not care to miss and did not care that I was upset and was choosing to show up for people she knew for under 2 months at that time. She could have cancelled with the mom, offered to reschedule, come after the meeting, or just came by herself while her boyfriend went to that. Three of those I had said on FaceTime. I ended it with I still want to be friends, I consider you family and this just really disappointed me.
After that text she gave the same response of “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand” then added “I didn’t know it was that big of a deal, you should have been upfront with how you felt instead of being passive aggressive. The amount of time I’ve known [redacted] does not matter because him and his family are my priority now.”
Reading that confused me because I feel like I was very clear so how was she confused? It also affirmed the one fear I had for our friendship since I was a kid and that’s the reality that she might unashamedly value a romantic relationship over our friendship in a situation that didn’t make sense other than “but my boyfrieeeend”. My next text essentially told her she would laugh at her actions if someone else had done them, reminded her of how I’ve always prioritized showing up for her in numerous ways, wished her the best with [redacted], and said I’ll take a step back from our friendship so she never has to choose to not have her #1 priority be her relationship because clearly that’s what she’ll pick every time. I then blocked her (she’s unblocked now) because I was over her lack of understanding and empathy and wanted to enjoy my celebration that night.
For some back story on her charactecontributing reasons why I pulled away: She’s very good at giving thoughtful gifts and is a funny person with good manners. I noticed some odd things about her character when we lived together though. For example: I paid 300 more dollars in rent and all utilities because I made more money than her and she voiced multiple times “I cannot pay more than 700 dollars for everything for the month” so I covered everything beyond that so we could stay in a better place that wasn’t in a dangerous area for two young women (which she initially wanted to live in so I respected that I would have to cover the rest to be more comfortable). I had zero issue with this arrangement, but would then notice how she would go on shopping sprees of 100+ dollars, date nights out multiple times a week, new make up/skin care, etc. which made me a little confused. In addition, our electricity bill was between 125-255 dollars for a two bedroom apartment because she left lights on all the time and I eventually gave up asking her to remember to turn them off. For reference, I live with my boyfriend in a bigger two bedroom and the most we’ve had to pay was 110ish in the summer and usually around 70-90. When our lease ended and I decided to move closer to work, she never thanked me or mentioned all that I had done for us to be in a nice place while she got to buy the things she wanted. I understand doing something like that means I shouldn’t expect to be worshipped, but if I were in her shoes I would make a point to at least communicate some form of a thank you (which might make me the asshole because in my goodbye text I mentioned that I “even paid bills for us to have a nice place and I’m still not relevant enough to miss meeting a boyfriend’s mom’s boyfriend”). When I was thinking about getting my current dog, I asked if she was willing to help let him out midday as she worked less than 5 mins from our apartment and would gloat about taking 1-2 hour lunches because “it didn’t matter.” I said I would not get a puppy if I couldn’t have help with that as he was so young and I worked 45 mins from home. I told her she had every right to say no, but she “loves dogs” so she said yes. For threeish weeks things went great until I started coming home to my dog laying in his own piss. I voiced my confusion and concern to her for about a week and she would say “Really? That’s so weird”. I finally decided to check the puppy cam and found what I was hoping I wouldn’t. She has stopped letting him out, saw me giving him baths every day, and didn’t say anything. I asked her about it and she awkwardly said “oh I just don’t have time to do that”. I ended up hiring someone to check on him and he’s doing great and is almost two now! Lastly, she also never showed up to performances of mine when I have gone to support her at similar occasions. She’d even be on the couch in her pajamas as I walked out the door for one and would yell bye lol?? All of these little things she did made me question if she really was this kind and sweet person I had always seen her as.
In conclusion, I still think about her and this situation almost if not daily and it’s been 4 months of radio silence. I feel so betrayed and hurt because we truly were like sisters and went through life together for so long. She has never had as many friends as I had so I’m shocked she just let this friendship go so easily when she’s mentioned how she “can’t act like herself around others like she does with me.” Technically, I’m the one that ended it, but if I had a friend communicate the things I did, I would try anything to make them know I care about them. The silence is making me think maybe I was the asshole in all of this. My boyfriend actually works with her and she has NEVER brought it up to him. But then again, I’m not someone who can fuck her, so why would she put in effort to reach out? (petty I know, but a legitimate thought of mine)
Part of me just wants her to reach out so I can tell her how she’s the only friend of mine that didn’t put in at least similar effort in the friendship. So I can get her to see how poorly she valued me in return…. Then again, her therapist is probably hearing her warped POV and affirming her actions (petty but also another thought of mine)
If you made it this far, thank you. I stayed as transparent as possible and gave the best play by play I could so I’m all ears! I also feel a little pathetic that it’s been plaguing my mind all these months later when clearly she does not care enough to say something. I know I could have handled it better in some ways but I feel wronged so I refuse to seek her out first…maybe I really am the asshole?

Throw away.apologies for long post (reddit virgin not really the "solve problems with strangers online type" but no one else to talk to). Is this common practice in corporate? would love some advice. I just started as a groomer at petsmart Ive been there for about 4 weeks.Background: Ive been grooming for about 4 years (consider myself an adolescent dog groomerlol).I started in an overly booked,mismanaged,and overall unsafe private shop. Due to toxcity and blatant disregard for employee safety I figured Id try out corporate. (I was doing up to 14 dogs a day,feeling the burn,boss was pissed that i started cutting back to a manageable 9) Red flag#1:Within my first week no one could give me a straight answer on what training vids I should be completing one manager told me not to do academy vids cuz with my experience i should know already,(however there was some petsmart specific practices in there that private salons and academys do not follow) the other told me that i had to do academy and bathers training. After going back and forth,I asked if they had a list of what i needed to complete, Asl pointed to an outdated list(they said so) as a "general guide" half the videos on there no longer exsisted in learning portal. I double checked with store leader and salon leader if i finished required training they said we were good to go. Red flag#2:By my third day I was thrown into salon grooming dogs,I asked my new coworkers how long theyve been grooming and if they liked the environment;not a single person including the salon lead has been there longer than a year (including grooming experience for most this was their first pet service job) This week come to find out I havent completed all the necessary training and they expected me to groom dogs and watch videos/quizes at the same time.(dude seriously? my focus should be on the dogs, put a block towards the end of my shift right?) Fast forward beginning of week 3: end of my shift on my last dog making good time even though she was pretty wiggly just had face left, go to guard comb top knot when she ponytail whips her ear out of my hold straight into my guard comb FML. I am certified in pet first aid and cpr but due to policy (i get it its corporate) can only use cotton ball and pressure to try and stop bleeding. Banfield is closed theres only one other groomer trainee there and only an assistant store manager on duty she tells me i have to drive the dog to another vet 15 mins away. On the way there her ear has stopped bleeding. thank god client was so cool about it(dog was at the vet for 5hrs before it was even seen). First pet incident still havent finished the full process for that but apparently coworkers tell me i was still supposed to be on the salon leaders schedule (hmmm...interesting i was only on her schedule week one and it felt like she was avoiding me the whole time even though she had no dogs but hey what do i know managers have a bunch of meetings and shit to do so my questions were answered by co workers who may or may not have had the correct information) beginning of week 4: coworker schedules me a chow chow thats in boarding. Ok ive done chow chows that were pretty aggressive in the past with no incident (i try not to be "breedist") notes say shes a little weird and shy but to be expected of a chow chow and shes a puppy so im like kool hopefully pet parent did their homework and has been working with her. Go to get dog out of kennel and shes shying away from me to be expected but im not cornering her in that kennel so i open the door a little bit to try to coax her out she comes out i go to put the lead on her and she flips out starts lunging at me and tries to run off. Now im not about to let her escape to get even more stressed by me chasing her and the other dogs barking and lunging at her and the potential of her going after someone else trying to catch her so stupidly, i admit, i grabbed her back legs (not pulling just keeping my hands on her to keep her from running off) so of course shes biting snapping trying to get out of my hold she eventually gives up and is just laying there letting my hands stay on her,all the while im screaming for help at the top of my lungs to no avail. I manage to keep her in the hallway still trying to lasso her avoiding snaps when someone cleaning the kennels comes over blocks the path with a cleaning cart and herds her back into the kennel.im glad its over when i look down and see my hand dripping with blood. Great now another incident. Now i have a pretty high tolerance for pain but this puncture was pretty painful. As im cleaning it i notice a piece of fat(confirmed by dr.) waving back at me (oh shit) again only an assistant store manager was working and this was the first incident she has had to deal with.shes freaking out hands me a first aid kit with only band-aids and tampons in it.im like i need something more substatial to wrap this and probably anti biotics. I tell her im going to my urgent care to make sure i dont need stitches. She tells me i have to go through petsmart insurance and gives me a number to call says i have to call before I can go but i should wait in the parking lot. Ok fine. So after a lot of back and forth between insurance,petsmart management, and waiting at their urgent care it takes upwards of 4 hours before my wound is treated. Finally go home pain is still pretty intense despite having taken pain meds and antibiotics. Wake up next morning my hand is a balloon,throbbing pain and oozing. Call nurse hotline (maybe im being dramatic?)send them pics, they tell me go to the er NOW. Massive infection they give me heavy duty antibiotics hospitalized 2 days.So now im off work for a week with only 4 hrs accumulated sick time. Should i just quit before it gets any worse? I love grooming and have been told im pretty good at it but im really doubting myself after this experience...

**COPYRIGHT NOTICE** ALL MATERIAL HERE IS SUBJECT TO COPYRIGHT © 2024 by J.C. Van Horn
Hey guys, check out this western I wrote. Sort of like an episode from Buster Scruggs or a bonus RDR2 mission.
“It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have.”
William Munny, Unforgiven (1992)
The shotgun had been cold for weeks, but he knew it would shoot. His horse was very close to the fire, and he thought it might singe itself as it stood sleeping, so he watched the horse. His toes were warm with whitecorn liquor. His boots smelled terrible. He had short, iron facial hair that could degrime a ship’s hull. Eyes polished steel purple in the firelight. He took a small notepad and a pencil from his shirt pocket, and put the pencil in his mouth. He felt the thin, oily pages of the little book, and began to read the things he’d written in his rippling cursive hand:
Nov 28 1868 Folks now dont argue as much as they used to Glad for it dont like shooting folk Last one dont know if he lived or died gone too quick Hit his shoulder he fell hard Alive when I rode off so aint hit his heart Lady with him said shed get help reckon that she did
Dec 3 1868 Missing a good woman Asleep on a beach something like San Diego ? Tan color arms with white hairs Feet in the water every day Find her after this
Dec 8 1868 Got $9 from man in Pueblo Not mine but mine now
Dec 11 1868 Whinnies a good nag Man in Pueblo told me shed fetch good money Might have sold but I still need a horse Maybe dont sell just ride somewhere warm ? Heard theres fine women in Houston Got to think more on it
Dec 12 1868 Deep in the Rockies Hope to leave this mean land soon Stage coming through with money and joolry (learn how to spell joolry) Hitch a ride and rob when we get south ? Ha I’m nothing nice Can smell my self Cant wash too cold Cant build big fire or any one sees When done take Whinnie down the mountain fence the loot Moods good but damn cold
Then the gunslinger took the pencil out of his mouth and wrote:
Dec 13 1868 Stage tomorrow writing to keep sharp Saw a marmut today Didnt shoot shop meats easier less fuss about it Marmut looked happy Lucky happy basturd Guns are clean Whinnie is happy Lots of snow so lots of water 1 bottle of shine 47 cigs 25 revolver 13 shells 3 can bean 1 can pea 1 pound meat $23
And he put the little book away. He had eaten a fistful of smoked meat and a can of peas an hour earlier, but he might have been hungry again. He decided he was, and repeated the meal. He slept facing East and when the sun rose it woke him, the light breaking through the trees to dress the mountain in pale rags. Whinnie was awake before the morning. Her cremello coat always winked the dominant color of the landscape, so in the desert, she was an ember alight in the outlands: now, the faintest mint blue. The gunslinger spoke to her in a soft spell, “Oooh, sweet sweet–” and fed her sweetgrass stuck with snow, “oooh, sweet girl.” His song of no particular shape or pattern, but one he sang to her often.
He walked alone to the place where he would attack the stagecoach. The party would come through about midday because it had been in Pueblo two days ago, and the driver had made arrangements for Trinidad for this very night, and Trinidad was half a day away. He chose a spot where the road went sharply up and left, and even under the best circumstances, the driver would need to bank gently to not overturn the carriage. He sat behind a tree and smoked, but he did not carry his liquor. He ate a gloveful of snow from the pile he had made while clearing a place to sit. He thought about the story his Pueblo informant, Jota, had told him. It had been on his mind since he’d heard it—a love story, he knew, but did not remember if the man gave it a name. He thought he should remark the story in his notepad that night by the fire. If things went well, and he remembered to do it, he thought that he would. Then he thought that if he were captured by anyone, lawmen or some other, he would have to burn the little book if he could, and if he could not, he’d pull it into the air and blast it with the shotgun. He would do this even if the men seizing his bounty might shoot him down for doing so.
He heard the padding of hooves coming up the pass. By his ear, he measured about six horses. He went to his knees and hugged the tree with one arm to steady himself as he keeked down the road. A hard-looking man rode in front of the party with his rifle drawn and eyes awake. The stagecoach behind him was wide and red, and the driver wore a yellow bowtie. A second rider followed closely behind. Jota had not mentioned the riders, but the gunslinger could not be surprised at the prudence to hire guns before traversing the mountains. He knew then that if he took action, either he, or the riders, or all, must perish. He made amends with the facts of the matter and resolved himself to shoot as he must. He would roll out from behind the tree and aim the shotgun from one knee and set his sights to the front rider’s throat. The natural rise of his aim would send the meat of the buckshot into the hard man’s face. Then he would cover quickly and recock his weapon before sighting the other rider, who may flee, or be so taken by the swiftness of the attack as to fall just as easily. Once the gun thunder had all faded, he would quell the driver and the passengers, collect his due, and let the stage go along in peace. The plodding and padding of the hooves was louder now and it was time.
The gunslinger rolled over and raised up onto one knee. He aimed at the front rider’s throat and pulled the trigger. The rider’s head disappeared into a frightful pink slurry. His corpse slung down painlessly as his horse reared up and screamed, then turned and fled back down the road. The terrible shrieks of women came from inside the coach. The gunslinger shucked the spent shell, retook position behind the tree, and lay flat once more. The driver halted the carriage as the second rider came around with his own shotgun drawn. The gunslinger peered around and sighted him, but the rider fired first. Huge flakes of wooden shrapnel exploded from the tree. The gunslinger ducked back and made himself thin behind the trunk. The raucous boom of that shot could not have come from anything less than an eight bore, a gauge larger than a man’s thumb. The rider fired a second thunderclap shot that shredded the ground-broken roots of the tree and sprayed moss into the air. The gunslinger stayed where he was and only listened for hints of the enemy’s movement. All in an instant, he heard the opponent’s gun snap-break open, two empty shells clink softly onto the road, two new slugs slide smoothly into their pipes, and the crisp clack of it all closing again. The enemy’s horse trotted nervously along the ridge in the thin space between the road and the steep, treelined edge. The rider dismounted and landed coolly on both feet. With one arm, he kept his weapon trained on the assailant in the brush, and with the other, he thwacked the horse’s croup to get it to move. And it did move, fleeing up the road and not stopping. With the path now clear, the driver seized his moment and whipped up the four horses carrying the coach. Then he whipped again, and a third time.
The gunslinger could not move. His enemy came towards him, unshaken, with fingers on both triggers. Twin bores of teeth-chilling metal. One quarter-second from oblivion. The rider focused the entire span of his mortal attention on the vision before him, so in that moment when the stagecoach came racing up the bend, he did not hear the frightful crash of the breaking wheels, nor the shrill of the driver’s scream, all coming like Hell behind him.
Then the mountain was peaceful. The gunslinger shouldered the shotgun and leapt up onto the road. He saw the man he’d shot—a body, trampled by hooves and wheels, but no face. He walked on. A few yards up the road, where the embankment dropped off sharply, the heft of the carriage and the fallen horses had cleared the smaller trees away, so the gunslinger could see the deep, open country beyond. Twenty yards down the slope, a caboodle of horse flesh and wood and iron was draped around an old blue spruce. All hung together like a pair of boots sharing a single bastard lace. There were the sounds of horses dying but nothing moved.
The gunslinger sat in the road and smoked. He listened until there was no more noise, which took the time of two cigarettes. Finally, he got to his feet, stepped to the edge of the slope, then sat down on his ass again. He pushed the heels of his boots into the ground and grabbed the stump of a fallen sapling. He slid down the bank in cautious spurts as his heels pressed shallow tracks into the ground, and his hands shuffled from one hold to the next. Finally, he stood on an embedded hillside rock positioned two yards above the wreckage. He looked into the broken stagecoach, searching for anything alive or shiny.
“Please. God, help me. Someone.” The voice was weak and girlish. “Help me.” The gunslinger closed his eyes and shook his wide head. The girl was sobbing now. “Mother. Oh my God, mother please. No.” Her cries were desperate, awful things that were the sounds of someone already dead, mourning themselves on the other side of infinity. The carriage groaned and shifted an inch towards the profoundness below.
“Miss!” the gunslinger shouted. “Miss! Hold still!”
“Who's that? Oh my God, mother!”
“Don’t move! Don’t even talk!”
“Please wake up, momma.”
“Stop movin’, and stop talkin’, or we will not be talkin’ much longer!” The gunslinger moved down and used the rock now as a handhold. He made a new foothold of the remains of a broken tree, and in this new position he felt secure. He was closer now, so he lowered his voice. “I’m goin’ to save you, ma’am. But I don’t know how close I can get- don’t say nothin’! And don’t move ‘til I say.” The girl’s jumpy breath stopped, then started again, and he knew she had understood him. The gunslinger reached his right leg out to test its length, but it was too short to meet the next strongpoint. He was as close as one could be without stepping onto the mangled side of the carriage itself. “Alright,” he said. “Climb out towards my voice. Move slowlike, with real light feet.”
“I can’t leave her.”
“Save yourself, little darling,” the gunslinger said. “That’s what your momma would say. Save yourself.” Silence spread across the mountain as the moments passed. Finally, a light clamor came from inside the coach, and the gunslinger saw a thin hand probing out of the rear window. “That’s it,” he said. “I can see you. Keep comin’ thataway. Slowlike.”
“Not slowlike,” the girl said as she moved. “Just slow.” Her words were mechanical, of an absent mind. Now half of her body was outside the carriage. She was thin and beautiful. She had a small, straightline gash on the crown of her head, as though a fifty cent piece had penetrated her skull. The thick split of skin spilled fresh blood into her hair.
“I’m here,” the gunslinger said. The girl looked up at him. Blood filtered through her hair and into her eyes, so she could not see the repentant look on the man’s face. He retested the security of his right foothold, then stretched his left leg down towards her.
“Agh!” she shouted, and looked down at herself.
“What happened?” he asked.
“It’s my neck. Or my arm, I don’t know. It hurts so bad.”
“Other hand. Reach up here.” She did as the gunslinger said and grasped his boot. “Take it off,” he said. “It won’t have you hangin’ on it.” The girl took the boot off and dropped it away. The gunslinger could smell his own stink. “The sock too,” he said. She stripped the sock off and let it fall. She reached back up and grabbed the top of his naked foot, the breadth of her hand scarcely wide enough to find its grip. “You got me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Hold it.” The gunslinger drove his knee up towards his chest. He grasped the handholds and his long, cruddy fingernails turned white. The girl leveraged her green silk shoes into the face of the hill and moiled her legs up, up, and up again. The gunslinger seized her arm and pulled her up into his chest. Her right clavicle was broken clean across. A dark blue bruise was climbing up her neck and down her breast. A silver necklace with a white diamond centerstone sat disarranged over her drooping shoulder.
The gunslinger began upon the hours of gradual climbing that waited for him above. Through it all, the stagecoach remained fastened to the mountain. It would have rested there until nature itself faded to sawdust…
He laid the girl on the ground beside the heap of his ultimate campfire. He went to the horse and dug out his last clean shirt from the saddle bag. Whinnie’s coat blushed the mountain dusk. She was hungry. She wanted to be brushed, and she wanted to be sung to as she was brushed, all for the pleasure of it. But there came no food. There was no brushing, nor any of her rider’s soft songs. She staggered and nickered restlessly in the absence of these attentions. The gunslinger took his knife and cut away the top half of his spare shirt. He sat the girl upright and wrapped her head twice around, from jaw to meridian. He knotted the shirt sleeves under her chin like tying a headscarf. He took off his outer jacket and put it over the girl’s shoulder, then tied the jacket also by its sleeves. He fashioned a sling from the bottom half of the shirt he had cut. He untied the coat, strapped the sling under the girl’s injured arm and over her good shoulder, then put the coat on her again. Finally, he tended the horse as dusk fell to night.
An hour passed and perhaps the girl did not blink but twenty times in that span. The gunslinger fed her sips of liquor from his hand. She took the drinks silently, seeming to be unaware she was taking them at all. The man gave her fifteen sips, and took as many drinks for himself, until only three fingers of liquor remained in the bottle. In the night, they were both drunk before the fire. “You killed my momma,” the girl said suddenly, and without moving. The tightness of the headwrap prevented the complete articulation of her mouth, so her words had dull edges, like things spoken after the dentist. “Hell take you for it.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am.”
“Hell take your sorries. I’ll send you to the Devil myself.”
“Man sends himself to Satan. No one else.”
“You’ll soon see. Why are we still here? I’m an injured party.”
“My horse can’t see the road at night.”
“Yes it can.”
“She can’t. We have to wait ‘til mornin’.”
“Then what will you do with me?”
“I’ll take you where you’re goin’.”
“To Trinidad?”
“The same.”
“How did you know where to find us?” she asked. The gunslinger did not reply. “Did someone tip us off? Who was it? Was it someone in Pueblo? I know everyone in Pueblo.” But again, the man said nothing. “Was it that wagtail bitch Lily what works at the hotel?”
“No,” he said finally. “All no.”
“You tell me,” she said. “They killed my momma just as much as you.” Then the girl began sobbing at the newest remembrance of her loss. The gunslinger leaned against the saddle on the ground next to the fire. I gotta wake this night through, he thought. I don’t know what a grieving girl is capable of. It was true; he did not know, and his interests were not in finding the answer this way. He heard the cries that fell out of her but tried not to listen to them. After a few minutes, the girl let out a deep, heaving wail, and vomited on herself. The man took out the very last item of spare clothing he had: a half-dirty pair of long underwear bottoms. He cleaned her off as well as he could, and as he did, they spoke.
“There’s bounty men near Trinidad,” the girl said, very drunk. “If you don’t kill me, and I don’t die before we get there, I’m going to put your picture up.”
“They got my picture up already.”
“Then there’ll be another one.”
“Already got another one.”
“Then I’ll just kill you.”
“You’re a rich lady.”
“Not rich! We’re normal, decent people!”
“You can’t buy pretty necklaces and yellowbelly coach drivers with decency.”
“You don’t understand anything. You’re a greedy, no-good, mongrel of a man.”
“So you see.”
“I’ll tell you. Fortune holds no sway over me. But if I was a rich lady, like you say, I’d kill you still. And I’d kill you mean. I’d kill you like how a man would.”
“We neither know the other,” he said as he cleaned the last of the filth from her. “We have it good that way.” He slung the soiled garment into the snowy darkness beyond the reach of the firelight. The stiffness in the girl’s frame died away as she slumped down to battle another wave of mourning, then cried for a while into a dizzy, fathomless sleep. The gunslinger waited and smoked for nearly another hour, then took out his notepad and pencil:
Dec 14 1868 Stage was my blunder Saved a girl Killed her mother 3 other men Girls hurt bad gone to the doctors She said Im gone to Hell maybe I am Will make sure shes safe then she can send me there as she says Saw the necklacepiece but would not rob it If she handed it to me would not take it Im the man killed her mother Thinking now on Jotas love story
Good man rode with a bad gang Good man loved the saloon owners daughter She saw the bad gang and run home Good man went after her He was a very fine man Daughter heard him at her door saying he loved her She thought him a scowndrul come along with bad men He wagered she come out but she did not He knocked and begged But she stayed in the house Shed aloved him if shed come out but she did not Saloon owner came and shot the good man dead Bad gang came and shot the rest of em to Hell Buried em all in one grave
He looked up from his writing and saw the girl, still unmoving. Shame dissolved into him. He rested the notepad on the ground and set the pencil beside it. He closed his eyes. He thought he should write something more about the horrors of his deeds, or that he should write anything at all to keep himself awake, but soon his thoughts led him into a guilty, drunken sleep.
The girl had not been sleeping. She was waiting in the cold night with her eyes closed and her feet very close to the fire. She moved like half frozen straw unbending itself and put the palm of her good hand on the ground, then rolled over onto her knees. In this way, she shuffled very deliberately for a quarter of an hour before she finally closed the gap between herself and gunslinger. She knew the shotgun was beneath his head, under the saddle. Once she had shot him, she would stoke the fire until it was huge and warm, then she would read what the man had written in his little book, knowing she had avenged her mother. But then she thought. What if he wakes? Did he unload the gun? Is he the only man that can save me out here? And then she thought of the man’s notepad. What if I read something that makes me regret killing this man? Am I a killer at all? Even a killer of bad men? She forgot the shotgun and sat on her heels. She looked at the man. He was sleeping with his legs crossed and arms at his sides, his body angled up like a bent finger. She picked up the notepad and the pencil and took them back around the firepit, quicker this time, all the way to the place where she rested before. If he’s a bad man, I’ll kill him, she thought. But I won’t bother with the gun. I’ll smash the bottle on his head and kick the fire on him. She read the little book back to front until it was finished, then she sat awake with her eyes closed, thinking of her mother.
In the first light of day, the gunslinger readied the horse. He was anxious for having fallen asleep, but grateful the girl was there, and that they were both alive. He looked at the girl's face, frosted red in the new morning, and the thin strands of black hair over her eyes like strings from spiders of another world. The gunslinger poured a sip of liquor into his hand and bent down to the girl. He wafted his palm under her tiny nose. “I know you’re gonna to wake up hurtin’. Let’s just get it in ya.” His voice, a father waking his daughter to attend Easter Day church service. The girl didn’t need to hear him. She had not slept. She had taken some time in the night to experiment with ways she could maneuver her injured shoulder without stirring the pain. She found those ways to be very few, but in her experimenting, she became accustomed to the particular nature of the pain, and now it bothered her very little. She lay, a stack of wasted thews in the dirt, playing as though the night’s alcohol had her sick. The gunslinger sucked the liquor from his hand, then fed the girl four handfuls of snow. She knew he was seeing past her farce, but once committed to the performance, she thought she should not abandon it. For the last few minutes before they rode out of camp, she steadily lowered the drama in her acting by allowing her features to awaken one at a time. Soon, however, real exhaustion settled in behind her eyes.
Now they were both on the horse, the gunslinger with one hand at the girl’s side to see she did not fall. He sensed her balance with the thick muscles in his back, and there, he felt the hard diamond pendant of her necklace between them. The girl cried softly, in shorter and shorter spans, each separated from the last by about five minutes, and soon she fell into a perfect dream of when she was young. Her father building a homestead in Pueblo with aid from the Freemasons of lodge seventeen. Day fifty of the project. Men putting copper nails into slate shingles to form a roof. At night, a big canvas tent, a black iron stove, and her mother knitting something brown. Chicken soup on boil. Her father sitting on a crate, reading from a small blue book with a gold diamond emblem on the cover. His lips moved silently as he read over the same passage many times. “Father,” she asked him. “How will you ever remember so many words?”
“With patience and focus," he said in his kind, easy voice.
“Can I help you get more patience and more focus?” she asked in juvenile earnest. She wanted all the time to help her family. Being useful to them was the most important thing to her.
“Leave your father be, Caroline,” her mother said without pausing her knitting. “He must pass his test to repay the debt we owe to the men who’ve helped us. And he has only the days left in this month to prepare.”
“Yes, ma’am,” the girl said. Her mother was going to say something more, to give the girl some menial, well-intended distraction to go out with, but before she could speak, the girl awoke in Trinidad, in the bronze light of early evening.
“Ma’am, we’ve made it to the doctor’s,” the gunslinger said as he dismounted, still keeping one hand at the girl’s side, then taking her by the waist to let her down. Her face turned sour as she relived the events of the day past, but she did not cry. The gunslinger led her into the doctor’s building. He waited outside and smoked as she was inspected. The sun drew down, and he heard the sounds of brass music and women singing somewhere in the town. He finished his third cigarette. I’m sick of smoking, he thought, then touched his jacket pocket for the notepad, but did not feel it there. His hands shook as his mind swelled with a haunted, spectral feeling, like a man who had forgotten to do something very important, now remembering exactly what it was he failed to do. His fractured lips hung open and his vacant eyes did not distinguish the sights before him. Blue spaces beneath his eyes where he stored his self contempt. In his mind, he felt only the screams of the women in the stagecoach. He knew the final farewell between the girl and her mother had been one of confusion and suffering, whereas the lives they shared must have been full of love and joy. But those lives would be no more. The life of the mother, forever extinguished. The life of the daughter, forever sickened. And his reflection of their lives, forever unpolished, truthfully, never having been drawn out.
The girl and the gunslinger stood in the orange mountain dusk. She wore the doctor’s spare medical coat with only her good arm inside its sleeve. A leather sling fondled her arm and kept it tucked under her small chest. White bandages wrapped neatly about her head. She looked at the soiled man and examined his corpus to record him precisely in her mind. He was a pitiful thing, dressed in black rags stained gray from sweat. The hairs on his cheeks were longer now, like bunches of white hypodermic needles. He stood teetering and slouching into himself like an exhausted horse. His lips were almost white. Every inch of him contributed to his foul smell. His eyes were fixed on the frozen mud street, as though there was something down there that he loved and needed. He was not a tall man, but now he seemed even smaller than she, a girl of just sixteen years. She closed her eyes and squeezed soft tears from them. And there they stood, neither looking at the other, but feeling one another’s presence as tightly as stitches. The girl wiped her face with the sleeve on her good arm.
“What’s your name, mister?” she asked. He did not reply nor seem to hear her question at all. “It’s a beautiful evening,” she said. The gunslinger looked west down the road.
“It is,” he said finally, then his gaze dropped to the mud again.
“I’m going to speak with the sheriff now,” she told him. Again, the gunslinger said nothing. She turned away and stood, breathing softly into the wind. After a minute, she faced him again. She took the notepad from her pocket, placed it in his down-turned hand, and closed his fingers around it. The doctor’s coat nearly fell from her shoulders. She reached back to pull it on again. The gunslinger looked at the notepad, then at the small, soft hand that had put it there.
“Thank you, ma’am.”
The girl sprung her good arm forward and bashed the gunslinger on the nose. There was a splintery break as the nose bent and cowered away like a beat dog. This time, the coat did fall from her shoulders, and down into the street. When struck, the man did not stumble or sway, but only closed his eyes. The girl turned and walked, almost running, stamping over the fallen coat and crying out every tear she had left. The gunslinger’s body lost all connectedness. His knees drove holes through the topshell of frozen mud, then he fell forward onto his face. He mewled and wailed pathetically. His cries hacked and bubbled out of him like a boy weeping in a dream, like a man who had never cried before and was just teaching himself how. Tears, blood, and drivel soaked the place where his head lay, and soon there was mud all about his face and mouth, his mind drowning in the anguish of guilt.
“Miss, can you tell me what’s going on?” the sheriff asked the crying girl sitting in his office. He looked at her kindly, taking note of her injuries. He sat down next to her. “Where’s the son of a bitch that hurt you? You tell me, and my men and I will bring that bastard in to face the justice that’s coming to him.” The girl raised a finger to the sheriff. He waited patiently for her to compose herself. She took four deep, shaking breaths, then she spoke.
“My name is Caroline Bloomberg. My mother and I were on the road to Santa Fe to reunite with my father. Of course, we were robbed. I knew it would happen. I just knew it would. My momma… she’s gone. Everyone but me is gone. There was shooting. Loud, loud shots. The driver lost himself and took us right off the road.”
“I’m very sorry to hear this, ma’am.”
“We were so proud to be coming down here. Three months ago, my father went off to expand his business, and finally he wrote to tell us of his success. There was money to hire a stagecoach and men to guard us on the road. We could have brought the whole army, but my momma was raised to be frugal. She thought two riders and her old pistol would be enough to see us safely through.”
“Your mother sounds like a very strong woman. And your father, a good man.”
“They are. She was always strong. She always will be.”
“Did you get a look at the men who robbed you?”
“There was only one.”
“And he?” the sheriff asked. Behind him was a bulletin of bounty posters, and there was a picture of the gunslinger, wearing a clean face with bright eyes.
The girl looked for a while at the picture and at the other bounties posted. Finally, she shook her head. “My father also sent a secret allowance to the Masonic lodge in Pueblo, with instructions to deliver the money to me, so I could buy this.” She took the necklace out from under her shirt and showed it to the sheriff. “My father promised long ago that I should have it. Such a fool of a little girl. I could have hired the men we needed.” The sheriff nodded. He knew the scam—diamond brokers chatting up unsuspecting customers, then telling some local reprobate all about their business. The brokers bought the stolen jewelry back at a rate, and reset the gems into new hardware to disguise their crime. The sheriff thought not to mention these details to the girl, and he hoped she would never learn of the scheme at all.
“I have to ask, ma’am,” he said. “How was it that you were able to save yourself?”
“Just as you say,” she said. “I saved myself.”
Down the road, a crowd of drunkards and children gathered to watch the gunslinger as he seized in the muck. The tall doors of the barn next to the jailhouse flung open, and out came the police stableman to shoo the miscreants away and clear space for the cavalry. The sheriff lent his arm to the girl as they came outside and down the steps of the office building. Other officers filed out of the barn with lanterns fixed to their rifles, swinging their shines against the burgeoning dark. The sheriff helped the girl mount up on an unclaimed horse, then went to fetch his own. The stableman handed the sheriff his rifle and said something to him. The sheriff replied in a low voice that the girl could not hear, then he led a single line of mounted officers away down the frozen road. A moment later, they passed the crying man in the mud.
“Somebody get this drunk bastard out of the street,” the sheriff said. He could not have known the broken man below was in fact Theodore “Buckshot” Blake. His bounty, if seized, would have made the sheriff's career all the way to Lieutenant Colonel of the Colorado Rangers.
The girl now looked at this paltry man in the dirt. He was bent and turned so that she could not see his face. She remembered with satisfaction the feeling of his nose shattering against her hard little knuckles. She wondered if she was making a mistake by not handing the man over to the sheriff right then and there. She thought of the hanging that would ensue. Death might absolve the gunslinger’s soul, and she wanted so much to deprive him of that swift, honest conclusion. So the girl only looked away from the gunslinger, straightened her ladylike back, and rode with dignity, away and out of the town.
One of the drunkards came and kicked the gunslinger hard in the stomach; a brown-nosed effort to earn the good will of the sheriff. Then the gunslinger crawled. Despite his licks, his body was healthy. Yet, truly, it was a sick man that went skulking into the alleyway. Not a drunk, not a beggar, but a scoundrel. A repentant thing with a tattered notepad and only distant memories of love. He sat, leaning against the side of the doctor’s building, and opened the little book. On what he expected to be a clean page, there was written in a hand unlike his own:
Mister, you should thank God I’m not a killer. I could end your life now as you sleep. There is guilt and shame in the words I have read here. Even now your face looks as though it is full of shame. So I will not kill you. Knowing you are a man with a conscience, I will write some memories here so you may know just a small part of the pain you have put into the world.
My mother’s name was Gwyneth. The carriage driver’s name was Maximillian. The riders I did not know but from how they behaved I’m sure they were debaucherous men like yourself. Read those names and remember them. Is this the first time you have been confronted with such information? I hope that it is. I hope I am spoiling some cowardly tradition of yours.
The past days had been the best of my life before you took your action. I have never seen such wildlife as in the hills of Farista, or had such delicious stew as in the town lodge at Colorado City. Mother and I laughed and played bridge. She even allowed me one of her cigarettes each morning with our coffee.
Before your attack, we spoke of my father’s newfound wealth. My mother hoped money would not change the man she married. I assured her such a thing would be impossible. My father is a man of unimpeachable character. He builds great things from almost nothing, just as he built himself. I will see him again soon, but he will never again see his wife. They will never again do the things they did to bring me into this world. The honeymoon of their lives is over.
You will take me to Trinidad as you say. I know this is true because you hate yourself. You will help me so you might hate yourself less. Or maybe you will go on killing and hating as before, but there can be no doubt you will try. My mind is unclear now, but once I am sober I will decide what to do with you. If I am vengeful, you will suffer. If I am merciful, I imagine you will suffer the more.
Never yours, Caroline Jane Bloomberg, daughter of Gwyneth Hope Bloomberg
He put the little book down. She’s offered me a decision, he thought. A decision is more than a man like me deserves. Should I die to get away from my mistakes? Or should I live, and be with ’em forever? The gunslinger stood up and went to the place where he’d left Whinnie. He saw her coat glinting the last of the day’s light, and when she turned her noble head to nibble at his hands, the shine went away for a moment, but came back brighter on the other side. He stroked her flank and a few tan hairs stuck wet on his palm. “Oooh, sweet sweet,” he sang to her. “Oooh, sweet girl.” He took her by the halter and led her to the stables, where he sold the horse for one hundred dollars. Then he struck a second deal with the stableman to have a bath at his house for five of those dollars back…
Theodore Williams sat in a shady beach cabana with a glass of cherry wine. He watched his wife, Mary, dancing in the waves with her friends. Then the beach at night. Salt wind and talk of life’s fortunes. Splitting up to make love on the beach in pairs, some yards between each couple. The ocean, very loud. The waves, eerie, yet prophesied. Perhaps eerie because they are prophesied and each wave is a prophecy of death. Moonlight the only light in the twisted air. Theodore, a man disturbed by the taste of happiness and love, yearning for his natural end, unable to indulge what ought have been his greatest pleasure, but a man who, with each day that passed, was becoming closer to the thing he would have been. In the morning, he wrote:
Apr 1 1871 Mary wants me to write more The person this woman is She is beautiful The sand never all gets off her She reads poetry ‘Helen Hunt Jackson’ I have never done a poem I bite my hand when I think about doing it But I will write a poem for you my darling
BUCKSHOT BORDEREAU
On a lone farm in Kentucky A boy made friends with rocks Ma said to swears unlucky Pa said to clean your socks Eight teen hundred thirty seven That year was no good Took a flu on December eleven A bad day he understood Shotgun he heards the soil From sprouts a money tree Farmworks too much toil Hed rather eat for free She was down all underneath One evil by his hand She he saved to save him thus And show him his God’s plan
And he put the notepad and the pencil away.

Hi everyone! I was going to post on the dog groomer page because I figured they would be most knowledgeable about this, however, they are super strict about non-groomers posting and have a passive aggressive post towards owners about asking questions, so I figured you all would have good advice. I have been brushing out morkie puppy every day, however, I still find that because her hair is so fine it continues to get knots. I have started doing it twice a day to try and combat this to no avail. I am using a puppy brush for fine soft hair but I just can’t seem to prevent it.
She will be going for her first groom on Saturday, but I feel like a terrible puppy mom showing up with some small noted areas.
Any advice on brushes for a small (under 3 lbs) morkie with super fine hair would be appreciated. Thanks to everyone in advance who responds. Picture added for cuteness.

My younger brother ended his life last week. I feel this knot in my stomach that doesn’t want to go away. I’m still in disbelief, I talked to him a little over a week ago. Sometimes I cry but now I just feel nausea. I feel like I’m in a movie watching somebody else’s tragedy but it’s mine. He was my youngest sibling, he battled depression for over two decades and even attempted to take his own life a few times. These didn’t feel like real suicide attempts but instead cried for help. Over the years he would get better and then worse. My parents had him admitted a few times, but unfortunately my mom trusted him when he said he wasn’t going to do anything that night. He waited until the morning. My mom had to go through the horror of finding his lifeless body with his newly adopted dog sitting next to him.
My sister called me at work and when she called and said I should step away from my desk I knew immediately what she was going to say. I was shocked but not surprised. Now I retrace my last conversation with him and wonder if I ended the call reminding him that I love him. I regret that I didn’t respond to his last text and I feel sick to my stomach knowing I could’ve possibly changed the outcome instead I was too caught up complaining about my life to really listen to what he was feeling.
Another thought was that this had been planned over weeks. He had slowly been emptying his bank account to buy new tools that we believe he intended to leave for my dad. He called me and my sister to talk which doesn’t happen very often. As siblings we get caught up in our own lives and don’t talk as much as we should. One of the last things he did was adopt a dog. I thought this would be a turning point for him. It would give him a little more purpose. I think it made him happy for a short time and then back to his previous state or maybe even lower. We always thought his highs were higher and his lows were lower. He did ask me to take the dog (in his letter) because part of our conversation was about taking the dog back to the shelter. This made me upset, I had no idea why he was considering doing this. In the end he was really hard on himself. Things that would make a mildly unpleasant day seemed to hit him hard. Also my dad thinks once he found a way to take his life painlessly it made his decision much easier. I don’t know how to process this pain. I want to scream and cry but the medication I take helps a little bit, but not enough. Going to the funeral home to see him one last time (even though the funeral director advised against it since he was being cremated). I needed that closure. I wanted to hug him once last time, but I knew it was just his body.
I think about our lives and how different we turned out and feel awful about how tormented he was and I didn’t really address it the way I should have. I wish I had a time machine so I could stop him. I wish I reminded him I loved him. I wish I responded to that last text. Those things will haunt me for the rest of my life. I don’t really think there is an afterlife but for his sake I hope there is because he deserves much better than what this life gave him.

The Letter With the Silver Seal
Hooves drummed on the hard-packed dirt of the road.
The rider’s cloak streamed back in the wind of his running, and dust rose in his wake.
After months of searching, riding town to town, dawn to dusk, Finn finally had a lead on the wayward elf. The letter rested in his satchel, slung diagonally from shoulder to waist under his travel cloak. It was wrapped in oilcloth and sealed with silver wax bearing the intricate sigil of House Fyndrael. The letter was urgent, make haste, Lord Brynwell had said. And Finn had rode like a madman ever since.
People flashed past in both directions, the occasional ox-drawn cart or a courier on horseback kicking up dust in their haste. Some cursed his breakneck speed, turning to shake fists. Finn just grinned and spurred his horse faster. The road curved ahead through a thicket of trees and wound off into the countryside like a dusty ribbon dotted intermittently with the dark shapes of carts, wagons, and riders.
In the distance, the faint, cloudy silhouette of Suncrest Hold beckoned him. Almost there. A few more hours, he would put the letter in the elf’s hand and be on his way. A smile split his dusty face, and he leaned low over Dett’s neck, urging the horse on, eager to be quit of this mission and on his way back to Kaelos and all the comforts the sprawling mountain city had to offer. Wine and dancing, dicing and women, taverns and inns and brothels enough to drown a man in pleasures, that’s what waited in Kaelos. But first, he had to deliver the letter.
“Alright, Dett, show us your heart,” Finn put his face against the horse’s neck and the wind snagged his hood away, streaming his long honey-kissed hair out behind. “A few more miles, and you can rest. All the oats and water you can stomach.”
Trees flashed past. Dogs barked sharp challenges, then fell away. Dett thought this was a race, strained to go faster, legs and neck stretched out, mane and tail whipping in the wind. A group of caravaners cursed him as he thundered past. Finn laughed, called back his apologies and raced on, laying about with his reins.
Hours passed, the road transitioned from hard-packed dirt to the dark gray of flagstones and traffic deepened. Suncrest Hold rose before him in all its gray glory; slate-roofed towers and spires reached for the sky behind the silver-gray teeth of battlements. People, carts, farmers with wagons, merchants, and caravans crowded the road. Finn slowed Dett to a trot, skillfully weaving through the crowd with the desperate urgency only a man months gone from home could muster. He was ready to see this mission done.
He passed under an arched portcullis and came abreast of the guard house on the other side.
Soldiers in steel ring mail worn under red tabards slashed with black and embroidered with the royal coat of arms waved him through when they saw the silver glint of a courier’s badge pinned on his leather tunic.
“Make way,” they growled at the crowd, shouldering into the people and shoving them aside so Finn could pass. “Make way for a courier. Move it, you country kelps!”
People grumbled and cast dark looks Finn’s way, but they moved. None wanted to be the one who delayed a royal courier.
A figure in polished platemail worn under her tabard, and the transverse crested helm of an officer, stepped out of the guard house. Finn brought Dett to a halt.
The officer approached.
“May the sun favor your roads,” she greeted. Finn noticed the four golden knots of a captain embroidered on her tabard’s left breast. “May I offer the courier an escort?”
Finn’s mind went blank. This lady wasn’t just pretty for a guardswoman; she was unbelievably striking by any standard across the land. Breathtaking. He wanted to get off his horse and propose marriage on the spot. Heat began to rise in his cheeks, and he covered it by bowing in his saddle and giving his cloak a little flourish. A thick layer of dust broke free and danced around him.
“Gracious of you, my lady,” he said, cuffing his brow. “I am looking for an elf named Aberiel. I was told I could find him here in Suncrest Hold. Heard of him?”
“Captain Aurelume,” she said, looking off down the main road at all the buildings and structures crowding up to the walks. “Not My Lady. I'm not noble blood. Aberiel, you say?”
Finn gave a nod and patted Dett’s neck to calm the restless horse.
“Can you describe this man?”
Finn dug into his saddle and drew out a piece of parchment enchanted with the elf’s likeness. He handed it to the captain. She studied the portrait.
One of the other guards came up and peered over her shoulder, his face crisscrossed with old scars inside his open-faced helmet. “Damn, looks like the one what got back-knifed over dice a few nights gone. Remember? Almost died and the Count was all in a fury. Had us knocking down doors and cracking heads for three nights til we got the ones what did it. Darkhand gang, it was.”
Captain Aurelume studied the picture, her lips pursed. Her eyes were cerulean jewels dancing with sparks of sunlight.
She drummed a gauntleted finger on her sword hilt, and the sun glinted off her pauldrons. “Yes,” she said after several moments. “I remember him. Young and reckless, fair hand with the ladies, I’m told.” She glanced at her guard. “Which I suspect is the true reason for the knife in the back. Men have killed for far less.”
The guard shrugged, and his ringmail made soft clinking sounds. “Only said what I was told, Captain. Dice, they said it was.”
The captain returned her attention to Finn.
She returned the picture. “Try the Medi toward the center of the city. Beside the Basilica.” She nodded at the guard beside her. “Harker will show you the way. Good luck.” She turned and disappeared back into the guardhouse.
Harker came up beside Finn. “Alright then,” he grumbled, obviously irritated with having to play babysitter. “This way.”
Finn followed him down long streets that turned and twisted through the city. Every few seconds, he would holler for the crowd to give way to a courier. After a time, they came to a sprawling structure of soaring turrets, tiled roofs, tall arches, and windows filled with ornate traceries and colorful glass. A central dome gleamed silver in the sun.
“The Medi,” he said, and without so much as a by your leave, turned sharply on his heel and waded back into the crowd.
Finn eased Dett over to a tie post on the side of the road and swung out of the saddle, his legs filled with a deep ache from months on the road. He took a moment to stretch and stamp his feet before climbing the marble steps to the fluted columns flanking a set of tall doors rounded at the top and standing open to the public.
Inside, it was dark and subdued; carpet in blue and silver with fancy tassels flowed down the corridors. Tapestries hung the walls and the air smelled of herbs and incense. After getting directions from one of the healers, he stood at the entrance to a private room.
The door stood open, and a gentle breeze whispered through tall, arched windows. The room was small, modestly appointed with bookshelves on the walls and a small brazier across from a four-post bed on which lounged a figure wrapped around the midsection with clean bandages.
Finn knocked on the door frame and stepped inside. The elf on the bed stirred from his reading and set the book aside, fastening his eyes on the visitor. “Who are you?”
Finn approached the bed and gave a slight bow. “Finnton, my lord,” he said, digging into his satchel. “You are Aberiel of House Fyndrael?”
The elf’s eyes hardened with suspicion. His hand slipped under the sheet covering him to the waist. “Who sent you? What is this?”
“I was dispatched from Kaelos five months ago, my lord,” Finn produced the letter. The elf’s eyes locked on the silver seal, and the coiled readiness in his posture melted away. “That is my house seal. Give it to me.” The elf snatched the letter from Finn’s hand, gave the seal a cursory inspection, and broke it off with his thumbnail. His eyes moved over the words. He stopped at one point, drew in a deep, ragged breath, and glanced at the ceiling before continuing.
A single tear broke free from one of Aberiel Fyndrael’s lavender eyes.
The hand holding the letter slowly sank into his lap. Another tear streaked his cheek. Redness gathered in his eyes, across his face. “They have found her,” he said. His voice was a quavering whisper. “She…” he broke off with a sob. “She…I can’t believe it…she…”
Whatever the elf was going to say, Finn would never know. The words were drowned in anguished cries.
Finn turned to go, but thought he caught a glimpse of a smile breaking through the elf’s tears. Was Aberiel smiling? Finn couldn’t tell and it would be rude to stay. Whether tears of sorrow or joy, he would never know. Nor did he care.
“Good day, my lord.”
He left the elf lordling to his letter and his tears and silently wished him all the best. It was time to see to Dett and lodging for the night. A hot bath to wash away the dust of the road and a hearty meal to fill his belly, that was what he required. Then sleep. Dawn came early this time of year and he wanted to be on the road with the first rays of sunlight.
He stepped out of the Medi and took Dett’s reins in his hand. Music drifted to his ear from a lively tavern down the street. The sounds of raucous laughter and a dozen conversations sang in the air.
A grin crept onto his face.
A bath, a meal and maybe just one game of dice before he found his bed. He turned toward the tavern.
A man had needs.

My mom (55) had a stroke Sunday night, multiple strokes according to the doctor. They impacted the left hemisphere of her brain and were caused by a clot in the aorta. She currently has some level of control over all her limbs, but shows clear weakness in her right leg and especially her right arm, which she has almost no control over. Her speech is impacted and she can't form words, but she can relay ton and seems to be able to respond and understand what is said to her for the most part. She is currently on a heparin drip and hoping there is no need for surgery, thus far everything is looking good, but its only been about 48 hours.
I am her eldest son (31). I have disabilities of my own, physical ones impact me harder than the mental ones do, but it keeps ringing in my head that I'm not the best choice to tackle everything that needs to get done for her. Unfortunately, I am the best choice in this situation, as my brother has autism that limits his ability to understand the situation and make choice. My grandmother is due for back surgery any day, and the only other person close enough is my Uncle, whose kid graduated high school this like past week or so and they had plans to do some traveling before college. My mom would be pissed if they cancelled their plans for her, so we all agree that I am the best option to take care of her right now, or at least make whatever touch decisions I have to for her care.
I live in MO, and she lives in TN. Currently I am not out there as I had to figure things out for watching my cat while I'm gone, as well as pack enough to prepare to be there for a bit, but I will be heading there tomorrow morning with my dog. My partner is currently out of state at a wedding, but she will be flying in to Nashville so I can pick her up and she can help me with everything. Last bit of important information is that my mom has 3 dogs that she lives alone with and mean a lot to her, and a friend of hers is watching them right now until I get there.
Everything I've read, both on this subreddit and elsewhere, has indicated to me that it is both too early to tell what will happen, but also that everything is looking better than expected. The nurse told me this morning that my mom is able to sort of form words that are hard to understand, which is a large step up from groans with tone differentiation. I'm incredibly anxious about what might happen next, and incredibly anxious about how to handle stuff like the dogs and her finances. I want to be there for her, but my partner and I were in the middle of preparing to move out of state and uncertain if we can put those plans on the backburner while this all happens.
Her finances will probably not be that bad. Once I get there, I can figure out what her bills are and who to contact to figure out what her benefits are and get them started. My grandmother is gonna support us financially in the case that we need it for anything, which she fortunately has the ability to do. The dogs are the part I know the least about what to do, mostly because they are not the best trained and no one I know currently would be willing to take them in while she recovers. I also don't know if she will recover enough to be able to take care of the dogs herself, which I know will break her heart and really hope it doesn't come to that.
I know that theres a chance she ends up in a nursing home or something for continued care, which I think is the best option for her recovery should it be needed. Otherwise, theres a chance that I might need to be the person to take care of her, and I don't think I can do that in the long term. I know she would be pissed as well if she knew that I was putting my life on hold for this situation.
I know it is early, but my stomach is in a knot with anxiety, my mind is racing, and the only solace I tend to get is when I solve whatever the next thing is with regards to her care. Tomorrow will be a long day with a long drive, but at least I'll finally be able to see her and remind her that she isn't alone. She is one of the strongest people I know, even seeing her current recovery speed blows my mind and surprised the nurse, and part of me fully believes that she will end up fully recovering. But I also know that can take months, years even, and I know that we are still early and the progress she has already made might be the only progress she makes.
I guess the advice I need is just what to do for the future with this. What to expect, what I can do now to prepare, and how I can best help her without burning myself into the ground? I don't want to destroy myself for this, because that doesn't help either of us, but I also feel the need to do everything I can to make sure she is ok. I think the dogs are the top priority right now, trying to make sure that my mom doesn't have to worry about losing her dogs will bring her a lot of peace right now. Everything else is kinda just talking to insurance, her job, and the case manager to find out what to do next, but I know that if enough time elapses then her house (which she rents) and her stuff might need to be managed in some way. I feel woefully underqualified and woefully limited due to my disabilities to be able to manage all of this, but I also know that if I don't, no one will and the results will be far worse for her, which I won't stand for. I don't know what the future looks like right now, and I'm scared of nearly every result because I'm scared that I might not be able to do enough to help.

I preface this with my husband is super supportive and helpful, in fact he does a large amount of childcare/pick up/ drop off and of course i love my kids and i wouldn't trade them for the world but FUCK
I feel like I have a million balls in the air at all times and if it even looks like I'm going to slip or drop one, at least three people will be disappointed with me. Two kids 9 & 2, have to be on top of daycare theme days, school theme days, lunches, snacks, sports, laundry, plus taking care of the house, vacuuming the hair from the two large dogs (one long haired husky, one mutt), keeping all things fed and alive, grocery shopping, meal planning, keeping the house relatively clean, fucking non-stop dishes, laundry, so much laundry, plus I'm 30 weeks pregnant, work full time in a high stress job (attorney), my husband also works full time at a job that doesnt give an inch for working at home or sick days. At least my schedule can be flexible with working from home, i just have to figure out my (now) unmedicated ADHD to motivate myself to do the work and find the energy to do it. Work feels like everyone always needs something from me, even as I type this, my outlook is pinging and i get a knot in my stomach each time. Forget having time to spend with my husband, forget intimacy and sex, I don't have the time, brain capacity or energy. I think the last time we had sex was February? He doesn't push the issue, he's understanding but goddamn do I feel like I am failing. I am failing everyone, I can't keep up.
I see friends without kids, without dogs, without husbands, or moms without full time careers and I don't necessarily envy their lives because I'm not the kind of person who would be ok without working (not knocking anyone, thats just me), and I really do love and cherish my kids and husband. I just dont know how other people do it. How do you handle everything?
Sometimes I think that maybe the third baby was a bad decision, yes we wanted one, i feel like our family is "complete" with the third, and yes we can (just) afford it, but can we handle it? If its all so overwhelming now, wont it just be worse? I'm so fucking anxious that I can't do this, I can barely keep my head above water right now. Things felt so easy before I was pregnant, like we were doing well, and now I feel like the overwhelm is my fault cause I pushed for the third baby. Now were underwater like this for at least five more years and all of my woes are just going to get worse. There will be more laundry, more sports, more things to keep track of and remember, more everything.
If you got this far, congrats and I'm sorry, I just needed to get it all out of my head and somewhere else

For a bit of context, im level 140 and im at maliketh. I pretty easily wiped out every boss before him using my trusty bloodhounds fang. I even killed the godskin duo in only like 20 minutes despite being labeled as "the worst boss". I thought that because i defeated "the worst boss" the rest of the game would be easy. I was as wrong as i couldve been. Maliketh is way worse than the godskin duo and any other boss before that. It honestly is disrespectful to the godskin duo even comparing them to this disgusting hell-sent attempt at a boss. If you think maliketh is a good boss then youre the problem as well.
First, let me discuss his first phase. He non-stop attacks me with that knife of his. When he does his combo, i cant even get a hit in when he does the final part of the attack. Its like the game flips a coin to decide if the attack will hit me or not. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THAT CLAW ATTACK. When he claws the ground and it does like a wierd wave in the ground, i cant dodge for the life of me. I am not lying when i say i dodge the wave and still get hit for some odd reason. But that isnt the worst part. BY FAR the worst part is THE DARN STONE CHIPS. ALL HE DOES IS THROW PEBBLES IN MY EYES. im convinced he wears that robe so he can hide like 5 tons of pebbles under it. He doesnt even have to pick up the pebbles, its like hes just holding a handful at all times. His boulder throw is annoying as well, but atleast thats easy to dodge. No matter how well i do, im reminded i cant do anything when he does 1/3 of my hp in one hit.
Now, his second phase. I very rarely get to the second phase so i might not be able to describe it well. During the first phase im guessing you accidentally mess up his brain or something because in his second phase he turns to either a crackhead, a mentally deficient child, or both. The way he runs around the arena like a kid in a candy shop makes it impossible to get a hit it without getting annihilated in 2 hits. It gives him a ranged sword attack, which he spams just like the pebbles in phase 1. Also this phase makes him smart enough to run around the pillars, and he has unbelievable speed and range so healing is pretty much impossible. I honestly cant tell if his second or first phase is worse, because the first phase rarely even lets me get to the second one.
Now i just want to have a paragraph dedicated to how much i hate this horid rabies infested vermin that deserves nothing than to be sent to the firey pits of hell for all of eternity, but that might be a bit too generous. I hate him more that AM hates humans. I hate him more than kendrick lamar hates drake. I hate him more than God hates sin. I hate him more than a warm pillow. I hate him more than a lukewarm bottle of water. I hate him more than getting your new shoes dirty. I hate him more than losing recess in elementary school. This horrible piece of dog crap is a disgrace to this game that otherwise would be a masterpiece. I feel bad saying this because im being disrespectful to the dog by comparing this rat to his poo.
Finally, im gonna give my build so hopefully someone can help me. Stats: Vigor - 53 Endurance - 30 Strength - 30 Dex - 60 Faith - 14 Arc - 10 (The only reason i have points in arc and faith is so i can use bloodflame blade.) Weapons: Bloodhounds Fang +10 Clawmark Seal (for bloodflame blade) Dragonclaw Shield +9 Talisman- Green Turtle Shard of Alex Radagons Sorseal (so add 5 to the stats i stated) Lord of Bloods exultation Quick items- 11 Crimson Tears +4 Wondrous Physick with strength-knot, and dex-knot. Skeletal militiaman ashes (ik it sucks but im not a summon build and use trash summon for distraction) Armor- Royal Remains helm Raptors black feathers Confessor gloves Confessor boots
Thats all, maliketh sucks, please help.

Introduction
The safety, comfort and training efficiency of your dog is the driving force for us. Through supply of the various dog training equipment, we provide for what both the dog trainer and the pet require of this equipment. We provide utmost care for your dogs in different gear be them dog muzzles, prong collar covers and even complex ones like handler vests and bite tugs. So you can improve your training and the safety of your dogs is still ensured.
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Dog Bite Tugs: In-Game Therapies: Relationship Maintenance
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Conclusion
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Hello, I am a 28M and my wife is a 25. After reading multiple post on Reddit of “similar” situations, I feel like I need to speak up and try to see what people can do to help myself or even my wife with our own situation. I’m a Marine Corps Veteran now and we had gotten married in 2020. We have known each other since 2018. It was an adjustment, especially being married so young. We always knew from the beginning that we were destined to be together. We talk about it often. It’s a tough situation to explain as I’m writing it.
(I want to share some background info just to see if this can help give light on the situation now to what it is)
BACKGROUND:
Growing up, she always felt not so much like a girl and somewhat more like a boy.. so it’s in between. She’s okay with being a girl, but doesn’t feel like one if that makes sense. I’m okay with that, and she has always put others first instead of herself. She never truly had any of her own friends and if she did, it would be friends of others that she’d be around. She self sabotaged herself, relationships, and friendships as a teen. She is an only child. As she got older she developed toxic behaviors and got diagnosed BPT (borderline personality disorder) which comes with many symptoms for those who know. Clearly, I still love her and worked through with it to this day, but it was not easy. I didn’t know this when we married, but I had known about her trip to the hospital for an attempted s*****d as a teen. Her dad would always yell at her for small things and developed a codependent relationship with her mom. She wasn’t very close to her dad.
Myself, I was happy growing up. Being adopted at 2 months old, raised with my 2 half sibling sisters, 1 sister not related and 2 older brothers not related. My bio mom was hooked on getting drugs and couldn’t take care of the multiple kids she was having at the time. Needless to say, I never felt lost. My family then is my family now. I’ve met my bloodline family and even my bio mom. She’s in a wheelchair now. All is good there. My hobbies were running (cross country/track) art, drawing, painting, and skating. Those made me happy. They still do to this day with many other side hobbies, I like to stay busy. I couldn’t handle relationships well though, I was very toxic and could be very combative quickly. In my late teens I attempted to harm myself just to get attention from the girl. It worked but never got her, it was toxic. I almost went on a 5150. Needless to say it got worse from there. Having friends that smoked and drank was my go to, but I never really like being around it. I got a job at UPS and it only continued to be more toxic with my relationships and how far I’d push them until they left. I was a mess and scared of being committed to anyone for to long. I hate myself for even having that mindset back then. I got into guitar and soon enough played in many bands that were successful locally, never out of range of my local area. Eventually, that is how my wife and I met, but she was to she and was with her friends going to shows and took notice of me. It wasn’t until I said something to her on Instagram I’d what caught my attention and we went from there. I was fed up with being broke, not being happy in my band and not being okay with who I was so I went to my local recruiting office and enlisted in the Marine Corps, I didn’t ship out until 2019.
RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE:
Anyways, when we were first talking it was going great. The relationship grew stronger but then she told me one day she found out she was pregnant. She didn’t know it while we were talking, but when she did tell me, (we were even officially calling each other anything, we hate relationship terms..) I thought of it as cheating? But we had only been talking seriously for a month. Before, it was more just friends for a couple months..4 I’d say. So 4 months of friends and 1 month of being flirtatious and seeing each other more and developing a physical relationship. I was upset at first but the next day immediately apologized and said I’d be there for her because I love her that much to want to take care of her and her child. The father was present and willing to go through with it also. It was hard for everyone. Insecurities were at an all time high, betrayal was on the line, and it was chasing me at every corner. I soon got jealous from what relationship they had as co-parents, even before the baby was born so I split. I pushed her away so that I wouldn’t feel betrayed first. (I promise you it gets better lol) I got into a new relationship, went to boot camp, got my Dear John from that girl and the letter right after that was from my wife. I blocked her on all social media, how did she get MCRD recruit training depots address? She had her ways. The relationship she had with the father of her child was not physical until I showed up seriously it seems, they had a very toxic relationship before, which they don’t know what they considered themself for years when they met as teens. (She was 19 when we met and I was 22, the father was 19 also.) Anyways, we canoodle things again and we are back at it again! We love each other, her baby was born, the father and her were co parenting for months until they didn’t need to be around each other anymore and could split the days during the week. I get some good training in, and I hit the fleet at Camp Pendleton, CA. (By the way we are from SoCal) I visit on the weekends for her and her child. The father picked him up halfway through the weekend. I could get alone time with her. Then I suggested we get married because, oh, the love was so strong! We can get housing! Everything is paid for! All that good trash right? Tied the knot, moved onto base and life seemed good..
You truly don’t know someone until you live with them. Both of our behaviors could get the best of us, or we could be perfectly fine and happy exploring the San Diego area and maintaining a healthy balance. She had just finished college, had her baby for a year, quit her job at the nursery and moved in with me. I had 3 years left on Active Duty. She stopped her life just to be with me because we felt this huge bond towards each other. We worked out plans between the father and how we can split our son during the week/weekends since we are in Cali and only about an hour and a half away from each other. We would go back to our home town on the weekends because our families both live in the same area as well as the father. So it all works out. The marriage however got very intense, I was slated for a deployment, and she developed a codependency relationship with me and at first it was a lot, very hard to adjust to because I wasn’t used to that. She needed me for everything, all the time 24/7, physically, emotionally, you name it. She NEEDED me to be there no matter at what costs. This was a major stressor, and I was developing insecurities about who I was in the military and working out things with my own friends, my leadership, and my marriage, and also on top of worrying if she’d leave me based on the fights we had up until then. Alcohol made things way worse than it needed to be. Just verbal arguments between each other and being hot headed if some dialogue was thrown at me that felt off based off her tone. Not ever EVER got physical. We needed each other at the end of the day.. so eventually I would get over myself and apologize.. sometimes.. hardly ever did I. I’d just be quiet and ignore the issue until it passed and we’d be happy again. Very toxic. Speaking of alcohol, our biggest fight was at my “friends” house that almost sabotaged our marriage. Arguments, crying, passing out from drinking, self harming myself, it was horrible. All because my “friend” miscommunicated info my wife told them about me. Bad. It was bad. That’s when I realized something needs to change.
I got help from a military base therapist in my unit. I explained my insecurities of her leaving me for the father, our relationship prior until that point, where she came from, what our problems were, ect. I needed healing, especially from my past toxic behaviors/attempts. I didn’t feel right in the military, but I also did want to be there. Dealing with an insane dynamic marriage being a step father, in the military, with a wife with borderline depression and BPT was not easy. It took years of work, and is currently still a work in progress.
My deployment was awful. Australia. Easy right? Vacation if you say so. But my wife had no pleasure in my leaving. I kid you not, I FaceTime, and messaged her every step of the way. Every minute from when I woke up, to when she fell asleep and vise versa. Newly wedded, first time being separated for 6 months and fighting constantly was so hard for both of us. She had a codependent relationship with me while being away and that drained all my energy. The father and I were cool FULLY this at point, also because we share the same interest. I love that dude. He’s a good dad. As well as I am. Our son loves us both. Anyways Australia was 6 months, self harm, drinking, seeing a navy therapist Doc, always being on edge, not the best time ever. I don’t know how I even made it. She met a couple of friends from the music scene and got really close with this one dude that needed help himself. Me, being male, was questionable but he knew of the marriage. My wife and I had built a lot of trust, and it may seem like it’s only toxic but I can tell you, we have had our amazing times too, so don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. There was a time they were hanging out and she smoked weed for the first time with him. I was devastated. I wanted her to have a friendship, friends, something to take the edge off of all this responsibility I have for her just to keep her sane. It only got bad for me once that happened. I needed a day to myself, I had just got drunk, called her mom, harmed myself, had my marine buddies try to calm me down when it felt like the end. I lost all hope at that time. Thankfully, we didn’t end it. I didn’t want her to be around her friends anymore, I only wanted her attention on me and to not betray me like that ever again. So it worked. We made it through the deployment, barely and went on to be as happy as could be, back into being a father, taking care of my wife, child and family back in the beautiful sunshine state.
That is where my codependency relationship started, I started cutting off all ties with all my closest friends I had gotten and worked with for years. Vanished. Either they disrespected my marriage or turned against me because the dynamic I had with my wife got to them. They could fuck off for all I cared. My #1 was my wife, PERIOD. I relied on her for my emotional well being and just to exist. She still hated the Marine Corps, she never accepted them but had to deal with it because she’s will living in my life of being in the military. I continued to get help with a new therapist, at one point I went downhill from the stressors of the military that I went to get professional help at the hospital because I wasn’t in the right state of mind and felt s******l and trapped within my horrible thoughts. I got outside help and went to appointments outside of base. My wife and I were still very codependent on each other until the days we were counting down to get the fuck out of the military. The day comes finally and I’m out. Finally. After all this stress that the military put as all through, both getting help, having negative outlooks on our life, to being played with puppets with strings because the military does so, we made it to the end.
CURRENT:
Ive been out for a year now. My focus on getting out was family, her family, my son, my wife and getting the help I needed from a therapist. We both had and have issues within ourselves that we need to work on to even maintain our livelihoods. We care for our son, we care for the father, and our focus is being there to keep us all together. In my mind, my codependency for my wife is strong still, just based off what she wanted from me while I was in and what my brain is trained to do from how my therapist helped me. I am 100% a family man now, I still feel and look 18-23 but about to hit 30 soon. No big deal, my wife and I hardly HARDLY ever get into arguments, and if someone feels off, we communicate. Man, we communicate so much better than we ever have since being out of the military. My son is happy but misses base sometimes. We have gone once since I got out. I went back to UPS with 10 years seniority, vacation time, benefits, and waiting to go driver. Those guys make money. I am getting financial help/benefits from The Veterans Association, I’m 100% disabled, mostly from mental issues, but also physical. When I go driver I’ll be making enough to afford to live in this expensive state. My wife has a job at the local school district, it’s going great. Maybe.. too great?
LIFE CRISIS
This is the main issue we have currently. My wife put her life on pause for me, she was there for me during my worst while being in the military and she was a stay at home wife when we had our son. She worked online for a little bit that perished. It was short amount of time that kept her busy. I needed to entertain her in her free time, no friends, she hated the military and military spouses. She made an attempt to be friends with some but they are WAY to basic and out of touch with her personality. She is shy and lowkey, when she’s with me, she is comfortable. That’s how I felt with my military experience as well. No where to fit in. We were both going through it at that time so we needed to be supporters of each other for year. My brain is TRAINED to be there for her needs on the SPOT. That’s how we work so well. Lately though, the dynamic has changed. She was still feeling overwhelmed with being a wife, mom, having a husband and not feeling complete. She doesn’t know who to be, how to be, what she wants that’ll make her happy, she has no clue what to do. I am here for her for what she needs, but it scares me. She doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of taking action for her life to become more happy, that could mean being more independent and not relying on me so much as an emotional/financial slate. She doesn’t want to draw attention away from me and doesn’t want that to negatively affect my happiness and that’ll only rub off on our son. She thinks about the consequences of him too, she doesn’t want to make any drastic changes only to hurt her son too. So she doesn’t know what she needs to help make this change in her life. I’ve only known to only be there for her and not even put myself first.. She made a friend at work who changed her whole perspective on her life and they’ve been close ever since. He is trans, she is changing her outlook on real happiness and what she needs to explore, but there’s no definitive answer. When she leaves to hang out with him, I feel empty. I feel like I’m missing something, like what’s wrong with me not being okay by myself any more? I don’t have any real friends, I don’t want to message any of them or message anyone. If I’m with my son I have my son and also my dog, and it distracts me but I still feel with weird anxiouses. My wife and I literally have done EVERYTHING together, shop, get groceries, go out, do everything together. This new shift of being with just me is not it. It’s scary, and my wife knows how I’m feeling and I’m listening to how she feels. She says she feels like she doesn’t know how to be, where to be, and doesn’t feel like her self. I mean, I can get into many hobbies and keep myself busy to not think about it but my mind set is to still be there for her no matter what. I don’t want to be suffocating but that’s what I am used to when it comes her to needed me, and she told me she doesn’t want to feel like she needs me as much as she needed me back when I was in the military, but she doesn’t want to make me not happy. It’s scary to say the least, I want her to find what she wants but she also doesn’t want negative outcomes of it, and doesn’t know what she would be searching for. I feel selfish doing things for myself, I can’t break out of that mindset. It’s tough and this is VERY recent. I feel like this is going on for a long time and you get the gist of it. So we’re both stuck. If you have questions message me and I clearly can keep going into more detail and ramble about it. We both recently took separate trips and it was good to be doing things ourselves but we are still stuck, it was only two days. Please give me any opinions on what we can do or how to help my wife in this journey of life, and to help me cope and be supportive and not lose touch with my wife. Please and thanks.
Happy Memorial Day.

Hello, I am a 28M and my wife is a 25. After reading multiple post on Reddit of “similar” situations, I feel like I need to speak up and try to see what people can do to help myself or even my wife with our own situation. I’m a Marine Corps Veteran now and we had gotten married in 2020. We have known each other since 2018. It was an adjustment, especially being married so young. We always knew from the beginning that we were destined to be together. We talk about it often. It’s a tough situation to explain as I’m writing it.
(I want to share some background info just to see if this can help give light on the situation now to what it is)
BACKGROUND:
Growing up, she always felt not so much like a girl and somewhat more like a boy.. so it’s in between. She’s okay with being a girl, but doesn’t feel like one if that makes sense. I’m okay with that, and she has always put others first instead of herself. She never truly had any of her own friends and if she did, it would be friends of others that she’d be around. She self sabotaged herself, relationships, and friendships as a teen. She is an only child. As she got older she developed toxic behaviors and got diagnosed BPT (borderline personality disorder) which comes with many symptoms for those who know. Clearly, I still love her and worked through with it to this day, but it was not easy. I didn’t know this when we married, but I had known about her trip to the hospital for an attempted s*****d as a teen. Her dad would always yell at her for small things and developed a codependent relationship with her mom. She wasn’t very close to her dad.
Myself, I was happy growing up. Being adopted at 2 months old, raised with my 2 half sibling sisters, 1 sister not related and 2 older brothers not related. My bio mom was hooked on getting drugs and couldn’t take care of the multiple kids she was having at the time. Needless to say, I never felt lost. My family then is my family now. I’ve met my bloodline family and even my bio mom. She’s in a wheelchair now. All is good there. My hobbies were running (cross country/track) art, drawing, painting, and skating. Those made me happy. They still do to this day with many other side hobbies, I like to stay busy. I couldn’t handle relationships well though, I was very toxic and could be very combative quickly. In my late teens I attempted to harm myself just to get attention from the girl. It worked but never got her, it was toxic. I almost went on a 5150. Needless to say it got worse from there. Having friends that smoked and drank was my go to, but I never really like being around it. I got a job at UPS and it only continued to be more toxic with my relationships and how far I’d push them until they left. I was a mess and scared of being committed to anyone for to long. I hate myself for even having that mindset back then. I got into guitar and soon enough played in many bands that were successful locally, never out of range of my local area. Eventually, that is how my wife and I met, but she was to she and was with her friends going to shows and took notice of me. It wasn’t until I said something to her on Instagram I’d what caught my attention and we went from there. I was fed up with being broke, not being happy in my band and not being okay with who I was so I went to my local recruiting office and enlisted in the Marine Corps, I didn’t ship out until 2019.
RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE:
Anyways, when we were first talking it was going great. The relationship grew stronger but then she told me one day she found out she was pregnant. She didn’t know it while we were talking, but when she did tell me, (we were even officially calling each other anything, we hate relationship terms..) I thought of it as cheating? But we had only been talking seriously for a month. Before, it was more just friends for a couple months..4 I’d say. So 4 months of friends and 1 month of being flirtatious and seeing each other more and developing a physical relationship. I was upset at first but the next day immediately apologized and said I’d be there for her because I love her that much to want to take care of her and her child. The father was present and willing to go through with it also. It was hard for everyone. Insecurities were at an all time high, betrayal was on the line, and it was chasing me at every corner. I soon got jealous from what relationship they had as co-parents, even before the baby was born so I split. I pushed her away so that I wouldn’t feel betrayed first. (I promise you it gets better lol) I got into a new relationship, went to boot camp, got my Dear John from that girl and the letter right after that was from my wife. I blocked her on all social media, how did she get MCRD recruit training depots address? She had her ways. The relationship she had with the father of her child was not physical until I showed up seriously it seems, they had a very toxic relationship before, which they don’t know what they considered themself for years when they met as teens. (She was 19 when we met and I was 22, the father was 19 also.) Anyways, we canoodle things again and we are back at it again! We love each other, her baby was born, the father and her were co parenting for months until they didn’t need to be around each other anymore and could split the days during the week. I get some good training in, and I hit the fleet at Camp Pendleton, CA. (By the way we are from SoCal) I visit on the weekends for her and her child. The father picked him up halfway through the weekend. I could get alone time with her. Then I suggested we get married because, oh, the love was so strong! We can get housing! Everything is paid for! All that good trash right? Tied the knot, moved onto base and life seemed good..
You truly don’t know someone until you live with them. Both of our behaviors could get the best of us, or we could be perfectly fine and happy exploring the San Diego area and maintaining a healthy balance. She had just finished college, had her baby for a year, quit her job at the nursery and moved in with me. I had 3 years left on Active Duty. She stopped her life just to be with me because we felt this huge bond towards each other. We worked out plans between the father and how we can split our son during the week/weekends since we are in Cali and only about an hour and a half away from each other. We would go back to our home town on the weekends because our families both live in the same area as well as the father. So it all works out. The marriage however got very intense, I was slated for a deployment, and she developed a codependency relationship with me and at first it was a lot, very hard to adjust to because I wasn’t used to that. She needed me for everything, all the time 24/7, physically, emotionally, you name it. She NEEDED me to be there no matter at what costs. This was a major stressor, and I was developing insecurities about who I was in the military and working out things with my own friends, my leadership, and my marriage, and also on top of worrying if she’d leave me based on the fights we had up until then. Alcohol made things way worse than it needed to be. Just verbal arguments between each other and being hot headed if some dialogue was thrown at me that felt off based off her tone. Not ever EVER got physical. We needed each other at the end of the day.. so eventually I would get over myself and apologize.. sometimes.. hardly ever did I. I’d just be quiet and ignore the issue until it passed and we’d be happy again. Very toxic. Speaking of alcohol, our biggest fight was at my “friends” house that almost sabotaged our marriage. Arguments, crying, passing out from drinking, self harming myself, it was horrible. All because my “friend” miscommunicated info my wife told them about me. Bad. It was bad. That’s when I realized something needs to change.
I got help from a military base therapist in my unit. I explained my insecurities of her leaving me for the father, our relationship prior until that point, where she came from, what our problems were, ect. I needed healing, especially from my past toxic behaviors/attempts. I didn’t feel right in the military, but I also did want to be there. Dealing with an insane dynamic marriage being a step father, in the military, with a wife with borderline depression and BPT was not easy. It took years of work, and is currently still a work in progress.
My deployment was awful. Australia. Easy right? Vacation if you say so. But my wife had no pleasure in my leaving. I kid you not, I FaceTime, and messaged her every step of the way. Every minute from when I woke up, to when she fell asleep and vise versa. Newly wedded, first time being separated for 6 months and fighting constantly was so hard for both of us. She had a codependent relationship with me while being away and that drained all my energy. The father and I were cool FULLY this at point, also because we share the same interest. I love that dude. He’s a good dad. As well as I am. Our son loves us both. Anyways Australia was 6 months, self harm, drinking, seeing a navy therapist Doc, always being on edge, not the best time ever. I don’t know how I even made it. She met a couple of friends from the music scene and got really close with this one dude that needed help himself. Me, being male, was questionable but he knew of the marriage. My wife and I had built a lot of trust, and it may seem like it’s only toxic but I can tell you, we have had our amazing times too, so don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. There was a time they were hanging out and she smoked weed for the first time with him. I was devastated. I wanted her to have a friendship, friends, something to take the edge off of all this responsibility I have for her just to keep her sane. It only got bad for me once that happened. I needed a day to myself, I had just got drunk, called her mom, harmed myself, had my marine buddies try to calm me down when it felt like the end. I lost all hope at that time. Thankfully, we didn’t end it. I didn’t want her to be around her friends anymore, I only wanted her attention on me and to not betray me like that ever again. So it worked. We made it through the deployment, barely and went on to be as happy as could be, back into being a father, taking care of my wife, child and family back in the beautiful sunshine state.
That is where my codependency relationship started, I started cutting off all ties with all my closest friends I had gotten and worked with for years. Vanished. Either they disrespected my marriage or turned against me because the dynamic I had with my wife got to them. They could fuck off for all I cared. My #1 was my wife, PERIOD. I relied on her for my emotional well being and just to exist. She still hated the Marine Corps, she never accepted them but had to deal with it because she’s will living in my life of being in the military. I continued to get help with a new therapist, at one point I went downhill from the stressors of the military that I went to get professional help at the hospital because I wasn’t in the right state of mind and felt s******l and trapped within my horrible thoughts. I got outside help and went to appointments outside of base. My wife and I were still very codependent on each other until the days we were counting down to get the fuck out of the military. The day comes finally and I’m out. Finally. After all this stress that the military put as all through, both getting help, having negative outlooks on our life, to being played with puppets with strings because the military does so, we made it to the end.
CURRENT:
Ive been out for a year now. My focus on getting out was family, her family, my son, my wife and getting the help I needed from a therapist. We both had and have issues within ourselves that we need to work on to even maintain our livelihoods. We care for our son, we care for the father, and our focus is being there to keep us all together. In my mind, my codependency for my wife is strong still, just based off what she wanted from me while I was in and what my brain is trained to do from how my therapist helped me. I am 100% a family man now, I still feel and look 18-23 but about to hit 30 soon. No big deal, my wife and I hardly HARDLY ever get into arguments, and if someone feels off, we communicate. Man, we communicate so much better than we ever have since being out of the military. My son is happy but misses base sometimes. We have gone once since I got out. I went back to UPS with 10 years seniority, vacation time, benefits, and waiting to go driver. Those guys make money. I am getting financial help/benefits from The Veterans Association, I’m 100% disabled, mostly from mental issues, but also physical. When I go driver I’ll be making enough to afford to live in this expensive state. My wife has a job at the local school district, it’s going great. Maybe.. too great?
LIFE CRISIS
This is the main issue we have currently. My wife put her life on pause for me, she was there for me during my worst while being in the military and she was a stay at home wife when we had our son. She worked online for a little bit that perished. It was short amount of time that kept her busy. I needed to entertain her in her free time, no friends, she hated the military and military spouses. She made an attempt to be friends with some but they are WAY to basic and out of touch with her personality. She is shy and lowkey, when she’s with me, she is comfortable. That’s how I felt with my military experience as well. No where to fit in. We were both going through it at that time so we needed to be supporters of each other for year. My brain is TRAINED to be there for her needs on the SPOT. That’s how we work so well. Lately though, the dynamic has changed. She was still feeling overwhelmed with being a wife, mom, having a husband and not feeling complete. She doesn’t know who to be, how to be, what she wants that’ll make her happy, she has no clue what to do. I am here for her for what she needs, but it scares me. She doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of taking action for her life to become more happy, that could mean being more independent and not relying on me so much as an emotional/financial slate. She doesn’t want to draw attention away from me and doesn’t want that to negatively affect my happiness and that’ll only rub off on our son. She thinks about the consequences of him too, she doesn’t want to make any drastic changes only to hurt her son too. So she doesn’t know what she needs to help make this change in her life. I’ve only known to only be there for her and not even put myself first.. She made a friend at work who changed her whole perspective on her life and they’ve been close ever since. He is trans, she is changing her outlook on real happiness and what she needs to explore, but there’s no definitive answer. When she leaves to hang out with him, I feel empty. I feel like I’m missing something, like what’s wrong with me not being okay by myself any more? I don’t have any real friends, I don’t want to message any of them or message anyone. If I’m with my son I have my son and also my dog, and it distracts me but I still feel with weird anxiouses. My wife and I literally have done EVERYTHING together, shop, get groceries, go out, do everything together. This new shift of being with just me is not it. It’s scary, and my wife knows how I’m feeling and I’m listening to how she feels. She says she feels like she doesn’t know how to be, where to be, and doesn’t feel like her self. I mean, I can get into many hobbies and keep myself busy to not think about it but my mind set is to still be there for her no matter what. I don’t want to be suffocating but that’s what I am used to when it comes her to needed me, and she told me she doesn’t want to feel like she needs me as much as she needed me back when I was in the military, but she doesn’t want to make me not happy. It’s scary to say the least, I want her to find what she wants but she also doesn’t want negative outcomes of it, and doesn’t know what she would be searching for. I feel selfish doing things for myself, I can’t break out of that mindset. It’s tough and this is VERY recent. I feel like this is going on for a long time and you get the gist of it. So we’re both stuck. If you have questions message me and I clearly can keep going into more detail and ramble about it. We both recently took separate trips and it was good to be doing things ourselves but we are still stuck, it was only two days. Please give me any opinions on what we can do or how to help my wife in this journey of life, and to help me cope and be supportive and not lose touch with my wife. Please and thanks.
Happy Memorial Day.

Hello, I am a 28M and my wife is a 25. After reading multiple post on Reddit of “similar” situations, I feel like I need to speak up and try to see what people can do to help myself or even my wife with our own situation. I’m a Marine Corps Veteran now and we had gotten married in 2020. We have known each other since 2018. It was an adjustment, especially being married so young. We always knew from the beginning that we were destined to be together. We talk about it often. It’s a tough situation to explain as I’m writing it.
(I want to share some background info just to see if this can help give light on the situation now to what it is)
BACKGROUND:
Growing up, she always felt not so much like a girl and somewhat more like a boy.. so it’s in between. She’s okay with being a girl, but doesn’t feel like one if that makes sense. I’m okay with that, and she has always put others first instead of herself. She never truly had any of her own friends and if she did, it would be friends of others that she’d be around. She self sabotaged herself, relationships, and friendships as a teen. She is an only child. As she got older she developed toxic behaviors and got diagnosed BPT (borderline personality disorder) which comes with many symptoms for those who know. Clearly, I still love her and worked through with it to this day, but it was not easy. I didn’t know this when we married, but I had known about her trip to the hospital for an attempted s*****d as a teen. Her dad would always yell at her for small things and developed a codependent relationship with her mom. She wasn’t very close to her dad.
Myself, I was happy growing up. Being adopted at 2 months old, raised with my 2 half sibling sisters, 1 sister not related and 2 older brothers not related. My bio mom was hooked on getting drugs and couldn’t take care of the multiple kids she was having at the time. Needless to say, I never felt lost. My family then is my family now. I’ve met my bloodline family and even my bio mom. She’s in a wheelchair now. All is good there. My hobbies were running (cross country/track) art, drawing, painting, and skating. Those made me happy. They still do to this day with many other side hobbies, I like to stay busy. I couldn’t handle relationships well though, I was very toxic and could be very combative quickly. In my late teens I attempted to harm myself just to get attention from the girl. It worked but never got her, it was toxic. I almost went on a 5150. Needless to say it got worse from there. Having friends that smoked and drank was my go to, but I never really like being around it. I got a job at UPS and it only continued to be more toxic with my relationships and how far I’d push them until they left. I was a mess and scared of being committed to anyone for to long. I hate myself for even having that mindset back then. I got into guitar and soon enough played in many bands that were successful locally, never out of range of my local area. Eventually, that is how my wife and I met, but she was to she and was with her friends going to shows and took notice of me. It wasn’t until I said something to her on Instagram I’d what caught my attention and we went from there. I was fed up with being broke, not being happy in my band and not being okay with who I was so I went to my local recruiting office and enlisted in the Marine Corps, I didn’t ship out until 2019.
RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE:
Anyways, when we were first talking it was going great. The relationship grew stronger but then she told me one day she found out she was pregnant. She didn’t know it while we were talking, but when she did tell me, (we were even officially calling each other anything, we hate relationship terms..) I thought of it as cheating? But we had only been talking seriously for a month. Before, it was more just friends for a couple months..4 I’d say. So 4 months of friends and 1 month of being flirtatious and seeing each other more and developing a physical relationship. I was upset at first but the next day immediately apologized and said I’d be there for her because I love her that much to want to take care of her and her child. The father was present and willing to go through with it also. It was hard for everyone. Insecurities were at an all time high, betrayal was on the line, and it was chasing me at every corner. I soon got jealous from what relationship they had as co-parents, even before the baby was born so I split. I pushed her away so that I wouldn’t feel betrayed first. (I promise you it gets better lol) I got into a new relationship, went to boot camp, got my Dear John from that girl and the letter right after that was from my wife. I blocked her on all social media, how did she get MCRD recruit training depots address? She had her ways. The relationship she had with the father of her child was not physical until I showed up seriously it seems, they had a very toxic relationship before, which they don’t know what they considered themself for years when they met as teens. (She was 19 when we met and I was 22, the father was 19 also.) Anyways, we canoodle things again and we are back at it again! We love each other, her baby was born, the father and her were co parenting for months until they didn’t need to be around each other anymore and could split the days during the week. I get some good training in, and I hit the fleet at Camp Pendleton, CA. (By the way we are from SoCal) I visit on the weekends for her and her child. The father picked him up halfway through the weekend. I could get alone time with her. Then I suggested we get married because, oh, the love was so strong! We can get housing! Everything is paid for! All that good trash right? Tied the knot, moved onto base and life seemed good..
You truly don’t know someone until you live with them. Both of our behaviors could get the best of us, or we could be perfectly fine and happy exploring the San Diego area and maintaining a healthy balance. She had just finished college, had her baby for a year, quit her job at the nursery and moved in with me. I had 3 years left on Active Duty. She stopped her life just to be with me because we felt this huge bond towards each other. We worked out plans between the father and how we can split our son during the week/weekends since we are in Cali and only about an hour and a half away from each other. We would go back to our home town on the weekends because our families both live in the same area as well as the father. So it all works out. The marriage however got very intense, I was slated for a deployment, and she developed a codependency relationship with me and at first it was a lot, very hard to adjust to because I wasn’t used to that. She needed me for everything, all the time 24/7, physically, emotionally, you name it. She NEEDED me to be there no matter at what costs. This was a major stressor, and I was developing insecurities about who I was in the military and working out things with my own friends, my leadership, and my marriage, and also on top of worrying if she’d leave me based on the fights we had up until then. Alcohol made things way worse than it needed to be. Just verbal arguments between each other and being hot headed if some dialogue was thrown at me that felt off based off her tone. Not ever EVER got physical. We needed each other at the end of the day.. so eventually I would get over myself and apologize.. sometimes.. hardly ever did I. I’d just be quiet and ignore the issue until it passed and we’d be happy again. Very toxic. Speaking of alcohol, our biggest fight was at my “friends” house that almost sabotaged our marriage. Arguments, crying, passing out from drinking, self harming myself, it was horrible. All because my “friend” miscommunicated info my wife told them about me. Bad. It was bad. That’s when I realized something needs to change.
I got help from a military base therapist in my unit. I explained my insecurities of her leaving me for the father, our relationship prior until that point, where she came from, what our problems were, ect. I needed healing, especially from my past toxic behaviors/attempts. I didn’t feel right in the military, but I also did want to be there. Dealing with an insane dynamic marriage being a step father, in the military, with a wife with borderline depression and BPT was not easy. It took years of work, and is currently still a work in progress.
My deployment was awful. Australia. Easy right? Vacation if you say so. But my wife had no pleasure in my leaving. I kid you not, I FaceTime, and messaged her every step of the way. Every minute from when I woke up, to when she fell asleep and vise versa. Newly wedded, first time being separated for 6 months and fighting constantly was so hard for both of us. She had a codependent relationship with me while being away and that drained all my energy. The father and I were cool FULLY this at point, also because we share the same interest. I love that dude. He’s a good dad. As well as I am. Our son loves us both. Anyways Australia was 6 months, self harm, drinking, seeing a navy therapist Doc, always being on edge, not the best time ever. I don’t know how I even made it. She met a couple of friends from the music scene and got really close with this one dude that needed help himself. Me, being male, was questionable but he knew of the marriage. My wife and I had built a lot of trust, and it may seem like it’s only toxic but I can tell you, we have had our amazing times too, so don’t misconstrue what I’m saying. There was a time they were hanging out and she smoked weed for the first time with him. I was devastated. I wanted her to have a friendship, friends, something to take the edge off of all this responsibility I have for her just to keep her sane. It only got bad for me once that happened. I needed a day to myself, I had just got drunk, called her mom, harmed myself, had my marine buddies try to calm me down when it felt like the end. I lost all hope at that time. Thankfully, we didn’t end it. I didn’t want her to be around her friends anymore, I only wanted her attention on me and to not betray me like that ever again. So it worked. We made it through the deployment, barely and went on to be as happy as could be, back into being a father, taking care of my wife, child and family back in the beautiful sunshine state.
That is where my codependency relationship started, I started cutting off all ties with all my closest friends I had gotten and worked with for years. Vanished. Either they disrespected my marriage or turned against me because the dynamic I had with my wife got to them. They could fuck off for all I cared. My #1 was my wife, PERIOD. I relied on her for my emotional well being and just to exist. She still hated the Marine Corps, she never accepted them but had to deal with it because she’s will living in my life of being in the military. I continued to get help with a new therapist, at one point I went downhill from the stressors of the military that I went to get professional help at the hospital because I wasn’t in the right state of mind and felt s******l and trapped within my horrible thoughts. I got outside help and went to appointments outside of base. My wife and I were still very codependent on each other until the days we were counting down to get the fuck out of the military. The day comes finally and I’m out. Finally. After all this stress that the military put as all through, both getting help, having negative outlooks on our life, to being played with puppets with strings because the military does so, we made it to the end.
CURRENT:
Ive been out for a year now. My focus on getting out was family, her family, my son, my wife and getting the help I needed from a therapist. We both had and have issues within ourselves that we need to work on to even maintain our livelihoods. We care for our son, we care for the father, and our focus is being there to keep us all together. In my mind, my codependency for my wife is strong still, just based off what she wanted from me while I was in and what my brain is trained to do from how my therapist helped me. I am 100% a family man now, I still feel and look 18-23 but about to hit 30 soon. No big deal, my wife and I hardly HARDLY ever get into arguments, and if someone feels off, we communicate. Man, we communicate so much better than we ever have since being out of the military. My son is happy but misses base sometimes. We have gone once since I got out. I went back to UPS with 10 years seniority, vacation time, benefits, and waiting to go driver. Those guys make money. I am getting financial help/benefits from The Veterans Association, I’m 100% disabled, mostly from mental issues, but also physical. When I go driver I’ll be making enough to afford to live in this expensive state. My wife has a job at the local school district, it’s going great. Maybe.. too great?
LIFE CRISIS
This is the main issue we have currently. My wife put her life on pause for me, she was there for me during my worst while being in the military and she was a stay at home wife when we had our son. She worked online for a little bit that perished. It was short amount of time that kept her busy. I needed to entertain her in her free time, no friends, she hated the military and military spouses. She made an attempt to be friends with some but they are WAY to basic and out of touch with her personality. She is shy and lowkey, when she’s with me, she is comfortable. That’s how I felt with my military experience as well. No where to fit in. We were both going through it at that time so we needed to be supporters of each other for year. My brain is TRAINED to be there for her needs on the SPOT. That’s how we work so well. Lately though, the dynamic has changed. She was still feeling overwhelmed with being a wife, mom, having a husband and not feeling complete. She doesn’t know who to be, how to be, what she wants that’ll make her happy, she has no clue what to do. I am here for her for what she needs, but it scares me. She doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of taking action for her life to become more happy, that could mean being more independent and not relying on me so much as an emotional/financial slate. She doesn’t want to draw attention away from me and doesn’t want that to negatively affect my happiness and that’ll only rub off on our son. She thinks about the consequences of him too, she doesn’t want to make any drastic changes only to hurt her son too. So she doesn’t know what she needs to help make this change in her life. I’ve only known to only be there for her and not even put myself first.. She made a friend at work who changed her whole perspective on her life and they’ve been close ever since. He is trans, she is changing her outlook on real happiness and what she needs to explore, but there’s no definitive answer. When she leaves to hang out with him, I feel empty. I feel like I’m missing something, like what’s wrong with me not being okay by myself any more? I don’t have any real friends, I don’t want to message any of them or message anyone. If I’m with my son I have my son and also my dog, and it distracts me but I still feel with weird anxiouses. My wife and I literally have done EVERYTHING together, shop, get groceries, go out, do everything together. This new shift of being with just me is not it. It’s scary, and my wife knows how I’m feeling and I’m listening to how she feels. She says she feels like she doesn’t know how to be, where to be, and doesn’t feel like her self. I mean, I can get into many hobbies and keep myself busy to not think about it but my mind set is to still be there for her no matter what. I don’t want to be suffocating but that’s what I am used to when it comes her to needed me, and she told me she doesn’t want to feel like she needs me as much as she needed me back when I was in the military, but she doesn’t want to make me not happy. It’s scary to say the least, I want her to find what she wants but she also doesn’t want negative outcomes of it, and doesn’t know what she would be searching for. I feel selfish doing things for myself, I can’t break out of that mindset. It’s tough and this is VERY recent. I feel like this is going on for a long time and you get the gist of it. So we’re both stuck. If you have questions message me and I clearly can keep going into more detail and ramble about it. We both recently took separate trips and it was good to be doing things ourselves but we are still stuck, it was only two days. Please give me any opinions on what we can do or how to help my wife in this journey of life, and to help me cope and be supportive and not lose touch with my wife. Please and thanks.
Happy Memorial Day.