Printable truth or dare questions

I started something with my best friend three months post breakup for him. I knew he wasn't ready but it started as a FWB arrangement and didn't have feelings for him at the time and wasn't exactly looking for anything serious. Things got messy and we both developed feelings almost instantly (and truth be told, it seemed that he had feelings for me way before anything happened between us). I knew he was still pining over his ex though (and understanbly so), still in contact with her. After all, they were together for 6 years. I decided to end things after two months, telling him that I wanted us to date and I wanted something more. He said he had feelings too but didn't feel ready. And that's also understandable. I knew that even if we started dating there's a very real chance I would be dumped the minute his ex begged him to be taken back. Our breakup was super amicable. I told him that I'm not going to wait around but if he ever feels ready and I'm still single, I'm open to reconnection.
In the beginning, I did everything right. No contact, didn't beg, nothing. Even when he showed interest a month afterwards, I knew it was just a plea for attention and that I'd still be there so I shot him down, even though we kissed, talked and hugged all night, I didn't pursue anything and went no contact until the beginning of April. The thing is, in the meantime, I saw him every fucking day. We do the same sport and he's pretty much unavoidable. I'm there every day and so is he. During January, February and March I really grew a lot, made a new friend group, removed toxic people from my life, made more money, moved out, restarted my studies, dated a bit and was doing great. Didn't care as much about him or getting him back. Again, he tried a few times to seek attention and validation from me but I gave him nothing. He saw me everyday too and he was really bitter that I have seemed to have moved on and didn't pay him much attention.
Fast forward to beginning of April, since I knew he was battling some serious issues and depression and I started getting really worried about him, I thought long and hard about reaching out to see if he's doing okay. I did after a week of thinking of how this might affect me. Eventually I sent out a message. He responded and said that he wasn't doing that great and he was really moved by my genuine care and interest. Boy was I right on the money about this setting me back. A few weeks later he started trying to catch my attention again and warming up to me, making eye contact, growing closer and getting excited to see me and silly me got excited that something may happen and that he was ready to move on from his ex and give this a shot. And that's when I got needy and made every mistake in the book. When he showed intrrest, I was needy it was clear I enjoyed this a bit too much. I reached out. We started walking home together talking. I tried to bait him into saying how he feels and whether he's ready. He flirted with me incessantly too, wouldn't stop hugging me goodbye like multiple times. I said I miss our friendship he said I miss you too and I told him that I was baiting him to see if he still had feelings and eventually he admitted that he does still have feelings and misses me but nothing has changed for him, in terms of wanting to commit.
The greatest mistake of it all is that the next week I told him exactly what mehaving feelings for him meant, how I saw a future, how I felt myself with him, how I've grown etc etc and asked him what he wanted. He evaded every single one of my questions. He told me he's not interested in dating around he's still getting over his ex. He'd rather focus on himself, getting better and his studies and that he does care about me more than he would for a friend. The thing is, I know he's hooking up with someone new now, this has been going on for like a month now and I feel lied to, at fault was doing too much too soon and pushing him away when he was warming up to me and worst of all, seeing him everyday gives me a panic attack. I took a break for two weeks from our sport and messaged him saying exactly that that seeing him for me is tough and walking home with him is the worst, that I don't want to be friendly or stay friends (he wanted to stay friends) and that he should leave me alone instead and he obliged.

• How do I cope with the fact that I was the rebound?
  
• is this new girl another rebound or the real thing? I know he has finally accepted that his ex is gone and doesn't want her back and I know that he has committed to this new girl. That fucking sucks. How do I not blame myself for pushing him away and essentially pushing him into this new girl's arms?
  
• How do I cope with seeing him every goddamn day?
  
• I honestly thought I meant much more to him, we were friends for quite some time and had a beautiful bond, how could he have discarded me so easily? Three weeks ago we talked on the phone for hours, him telling me how he isn't ready, opened up to each other and told each other I love you. What the fuck? How could he have moved on and committed to someone else this fast when he wouldn't commit to me? That's the part that hurt me the most.
  
• How do I reconcile the fact that I very much don't like who he is as a person right now and the fact that he has broken my trust, devolved into someone immature, unavailable, I genuinely and a proper fuckboy, constantly chasing validation and a honeymoon phase?
  
• How do I stop blaming myself for not handling things as well after April and being needy and pushing him away and essentially sending him off to another girl's arms? I did everything right at first.
  

Sorry, this is going to be a long one and I bet some of you will say "this is typical inexperienced young people relationships stuff, I've seen millions of these before". But this situation is making me live the worst days of my life.
Before reading this, some information about our relationship. Honesty is key, and we never lie to each other. No matter how much it hurts we always tell the truth. And I trust that she doesn't lie, she doesn't do some kind of evil plans behind my back. She acts how she feels. Now to the main part.
I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4,5 months. This is how it started. We fell in love We are going to the same university. What we had was beautiful. We went out on dates and we enjoyed each others company. One month later, (December 2023) she started to act strange. One day she was loving and caring and interested in talking to me, another day she just wasnt there. She never texted me, replied very shortly and late. This damaged me a lot because unlike her, I loved her so much. She would actively avoid me sometimes. In the same month, for a few days things were going great, and on one day, me being a bit drunk, I confessed. She didnt know what to say. She said she needed time. We talked about this situation, she said it was something about her parents and her sense of love being corrupt. She said she couldn't feel love. She asked for time, I provided her that. Her therapy seemed to help and then the genuine, stable romance started in January 2024. We were now a proper couple. We loved each other so much. We were truly happy. There were small times where her cold, unloving side showed up, but just for a few days and I supported her and it went away.
In May 2024, something horrible has happened. She went cold. And this one is going on for about 3 weeks now. She is still cold. She doesn't love me, doesn't care about me. She told me it started after her therapist started talking about her relationship with her father. After that, she couldn't feel a connection to anyone, me included. I tell her how much she hurts me but she says she genuinely doesn't understand how she hurts me. I tell her how the way she doesn't care hurts me so much. I tell her how I am so sad that I feel paralyzed. I tell her I still love her. She says she feels like it will pass. But there is no progress and every day I wait for her love to come back, I die inside some more.
A few days ago we met in person. I told her the situation I am in. I told her how sad I am. She suggested to take a break from the relationship for my own sake. She told me she really didn't want to take a break but if it made me feel better to forget about her, she said it was an option. I told her that the last weeks have been the worst weeks of my life, and the situation between us isn't really improving. So I told her a break could be worth a try. We talked for hours that day. I told her that I want to make this relationship work, but she hurts me so much that I am starting to question if I should wait for her love to come back or break up. Upon hearing this, she started crying. She said she didn't know why she was crying. I hugged her. And then she wanted to kiss me one last time before the break. We did. The break only lasted 2 days because I changed my mind. I thought it was not right to cut the communication when the relationship was already not good.
Now the present moment. She is still the same. We agreed to meet up today, to talk about things, the reason why she went cold, and stuff. But her university students club (something about medical research and social activities) had a meeting today, she just learned this information and she said we could meet up tomorrow. I told her is this how little you care about me? Even in the situation I am in could you not make time for me? She told me she was neglecting the club for so long and it would make her sad if she misses this. I am starting to hate her. I don't know what to do. Even in this situation she chose something else instead of me. Even though she knows how hurt I am. So should I leave her, or wait for her?
TLDR; My girlfriend stopped feeling any kind of love towards me, doesn't care about me and this hurts me immensely. Should I give up on the relationship or should I wait until her love comes back?

***ads play and podcast starts at 1:47
Intro (Timestamp: 1:47) - Rachel: Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Leviss. Today, we are talking about part three of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. - Rachel: It has finally come to an end, season 11. It's been a long time coming, and we're here to react. I have my producers with me, and as usual, they will be asking me some questions to get my perspective on what we just watched during the reunion.
Well, first of all, I want to start off with asking you just your overall thoughts on the reunion, watching it. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 2:19) - Rachel: Overall, I just feel tired at this point. I don't enjoy watching this show, and (Rachel starts to get emotional) I'm just happy that it's over. It was good that they didn't talk about me very much this last episode, part three. - Rachel: That's great, but it's been really difficult watching each week. And I feel like I can finally start to move on from all of this, because it's been really difficult. It was really heavy and sad. - Rachel: And I think everyone on that cast is struggling. And I would be too if I was there. I mean, I'm struggling just watching it from the sidelines, so I can only imagine what it's like being on that stage.
So you're getting really emotional right now. Where is this emotion coming from? (Timestamp: 3:28) - Rachel: It's coming from a place of feeling like I haven't had much room to go. Feeling like stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Because this entire time, I have been preparing for them to slander my name, to paint me in the worst light. - Rachel: And my goal with this podcast was to be able to represent myself, to defend myself, to share what I've learned through my time that I took away and my recovery, and just to shed more light on the situation. - Rachel: And it hasn't been easy. It's been an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in a lot of different phases, getting sucked back into it, and then feeling like all consumed by all the comments and everything, and then completely cutting off communication with the outside world and living in my own reality in the moment. It's all about that balance, and it has not been easy to move on. - Rachel: I don't think it's been easy for any of the cast to move on rehashing it and talking about it and having other people tune in. It's not typical. It's not normal. And the day has finally come that the show, season 11, is over, and it's a relief to me because I don't have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. - Rachel: I don't have to think about what lies they're going to spread about me, and I don't have to think about what I need to defend myself about. And then following week, I feel like I can finally start to live my life again.
And so you're kind of talking about the boundaries that you've been setting by staying away and cutting people off, which obviously boundaries was a really big topic at the reunion. You obviously set some really strong ones by not returning to the show. What's your take on this discussion of boundaries? Do you agree with Lala or do you side more with Ariana when it comes to boundaries when it's in regard to filming the show? (Timestamp: 5:40) - Rachel: I could see both of their points of view. Setting a boundary for yourself is not an easy thing to do. And when other people are upset that you set a boundary for yourself, that's usually a telltale sign that that person is using you in some way and is not happy that you have this new boundary because it's not serving them. - Rachel: So, I can see why Ariana upholded her boundaries by not speaking to Tom, even though she actually did film with Tom this whole season, or for the later part anyway. But she refused to have that conversation with Tom at the end of the show, and I commend her for it because it would have been a fake conversation. You could tell that Tom, his only motive to having that conversation with her is for camera purposes and storyline purposes. - Rachel: Therefore, it's not an authentic conversation. It would have been crocodile tears, the whole thing. And I completely understand Ariana walking away. I walked away too, and people weren't happy about that either. - Rachel: For Lala's point of view, I can understand her perspective in wanting to have a good TV show for her livelihood and the longevity of her career. If you're going to commit to filming, then I can see why Lala is upset, because you are not only committing to filming with this person, I can see her point in that she is living under the same roof as Tom. - Rachel: They're living together, they're filming together, yet in Lala's eyes, Ariana is being stubborn by not filming with Tom, or that one scene. Who even cares about that one scene? I don't know. - Rachel: It's all so silly to me, but boundaries are important. I was in a place where I didn't have boundaries, and I was really trying to appease production and put on a good show. That became my priority season 10.
And where do you think the line needs to be drawn, you know? When at the end of the day, this is a paycheck and this is a job, versus this is someone's real life. You've talked a lot about wanting to live in reality. Where do you think that line should be drawn? (Timestamp: 8:32) - Rachel: I think that's an impossible question to answer when you're filming a reality TV show, because the line is so blurry, it's impossible to know what's real and what's not. And the more I'm out of it, the clearer I can see that. We see it with Tom Sandoval when he talked about production. - Rachel: He did the New York Times article, and he stopped talking mid sentence when a plane flew over or a truck drove by, whatever it was, because the audio, typically when we're filming a show and a plane flies by, you stop talking so that the audio can pick up normally without the distraction in the background. - Rachel: So it's like programmed in your mind to think a certain way, to act a certain way, to talk a certain way, to pursue certain things, where it becomes a part of your patterning. We also see the lines get blurred with Scheana and the comment section, and what is real life and what is not, what is her own true motivation for doing certain things, and what is influenced by outside commentary. - Rachel: That gets so blurry, and when you're all consumed in the perception of yourself, how can you really be sure that you're operating from a place of an inner knowing? That's a boundary that's blurred. With Lala, she clearly prioritizes the success of the show because she wants to secure her paycheck, and when people are setting boundaries for themselves and it's conflicting with what she wants and what is successful in her eyes, that sparks an anger within her. - Rachel: And it's all fabricated to a certain point because the bottom line is this show. So, I think it truly is impossible to live a real life and be on a reality TV show.
So, do you think it's fair for Lala to direct that anger towards Ariana? Or do you think she should be directing it more towards the show? (Timestamp: 11:12) - Rachel: Oh, no, not at all. I don't think that it's fair that Lala is directing that anger towards Ariana because Ariana has been very clear with her boundaries since the very beginning and…
I guess if she's feeling this way, do you think maybe she should have upheld her boundaries more if she was feeling so resentful towards someone doing the same? Do you think she's feeling like she regrets things that she had said in the past? (Timestamp: 11:35) - Rachel: I think she did uphold her boundaries. I think that she feels like she hasn't been supported the same way that Ariana is being supported. And it's probably not a good feeling, but she maneuvered differently than Ariana has. And Lala doesn't extend the same empathy towards others. So it's harder to support her, I believe.
She does make a point to say, many times, that she feels like things are not being honest on camera. She points out Tom and Ariana’s relationship being one of those things. Katie has a flashback moment where she also calls it out. Do you agree that things are not always honest on camera? (Timestamp: 12:12) - Rachel: Totally. Yeah. I think the point that Lala is making is that Tom and Ariana haven't been honest about their relationship on camera. - Rachel: And I think people are getting caught up in Lala being hypocritical because she wasn't honest about her relationship with Randall. Okay, yes, that might be true. But the point is that Tom and Ariana haven't been good for quite some time. - Rachel: And their relationship that was portrayed on camera for fans to see was not an accurate representation of their relationship. I see the frustration because I agree with that too.
Even on your part, how does it affect you as someone on the show when people aren't fully honest on camera? How does that affect the rest of the cast? (Timestamp: 13:21) - Rachel: Yeah, it affects everyone when people aren't fully honest on the show. I mean, I wasn't fully honest the season 10 reunion. I was still covering up for Tom Schwartz. - Rachel: I was still covering up for Tom Sandoval. I was still going along with that narrative, and it would have been much better to just be open and honest about it. But of course, Tom was like, no, that wouldn't be good for business. - Rachel: It wouldn't be good for Schwartz and Sandys if people knew that the Schwartz kiss wasn't authentic and we need that to seem real. So it does affect everyone when you're not being honest, because it portrays a certain picture that isn't reality, and the whole point of reality TV supposedly is to be real, following these real people's lives. - Rachel: So honesty would be like the most important value characteristic you would think that everyone on this show should have. But it seems like nobody does.
Well, speaking of honesty, Ariana kind of called out Tom and his motives behind wanting to apologize on camera. He finally does get that moment during the reunion to apologize to Ariana. He has some words when he does, he calls the affair something he regrets every day. He says that he wears it like a badge of shame. On your end, how did that feel watching that? (Timestamp: 14:46) - Rachel: It's hard to tell if Tom is being honest or not. Even in the Secrets Revealed episode, when he was asked how many girls he had sex with since me, and he had to pause and think about if he was going to be honest or not, he's just been caught in so many lies that it's hard to tell if he's being truthful. - Rachel: But hearing Tom say that he regrets getting involved with me every single day, I regret it too, so it is a little bit painful, but it's also like maybe something is registering for him. - Rachel: I don't know. But then again, his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He knows what words to say, and then it seems that he fails to follow through with meaningful action. And that's where true amends come into play.
There was just, I feel like, a lot of pain in the room all around. You kind of acknowledged that at the beginning of this episode. What do you think that this pain, and even Lala saying that she was okay seeing some of those friendships end, what do you think that means for the future of this group? (Timestamp: 16:07) - Rachel: I don't see much of the future for this group. It looks pretty shattered. It looks like these friendships are not healthy friendships. - Rachel: The dynamic between Lala and Scheana is not a healthy dynamic. It seems to be like a power imbalance. It seems like Scheana is trying to appease Lala to make sure she's secure, and she's getting certain needs met in that friendship because Ariana hasn't been around for Scheana the way that she's used to. - Rachel: Yeah, you could tell that Scheana’s struggling with coping with that. It seems like Lala's really on a wavelength of not effing with anybody on the cast right now. It seems like her friendship with Katie isn't strong because Katie's gotten really close with Ariana. - Rachel: It seems like even her friendship with Scheana is a little rocky. I think she sees Scheana as someone that's not...How do I want to say this? - Rachel: And I hate saying this word, because I don't want to like categorize somebody as something, especially because I've been called this before too. But I think seeing how Lala reacted to everything and how Scheana was trying to be the fixer and appease Lala, and it just didn't seem like enough for Lala. I think Lala sees Scheana as someone who is weak, perceived weakness. - Rachel: I'm not saying that Scheana is weak. And I think that there's a lot of alliances and manipulation happening, and none of that is healthy for our friendship dynamic. I can see why the show is taking a hiatus, because it just seems so fractured
Well, it definitely seems like at the very end of the episode, Scheana was very sure to get that last word in. I felt like she was looking directly at Lala and almost begging for her to hear her out that she was on her side. And it really did seem like the very end, Scheana had to choose. Is she Team Ariana or Team Lala? Do you think she made the right choice? Do you think she needed to make a choice, or do you think that she's putting this pressure on herself? (Timestamp: 18:21) - Rachel: Ooh, that's a good question. I think she feels a lot of pressure from the outside perspective, and she doesn't want to, obviously, like burn bridges with Ariana or anything. And I think Ariana has been very gracious towards Scheana. Do I think that she needed to choose sides? I don't think so. I don't know. - Rachel: I can see Lala's frustration probably because I'm sure Sheena and Lala have had conversations about the whole situation. And without Ariana there, I'm sure Sheena's singing a much different tune than what we're hearing at the reunion, and that's sparking some frustration in Lala. And I'm sure that was a similar feeling when she called out Katie about it too. - Rachel: So yeah, I think that Lala feels pretty isolated, I want to say, in her feelings. And now that it's aired, and I did check Reddit for the first time in a very, very long time, it seems like the majority of people are hating on Lala right now. I'm human. - Rachel: I do hold some resentment towards Lala for the way that she's treated me over the years. I do empathize with her a little bit because all the hate online is just a little bit ridiculous. And I think also people are afraid to speak a differing opinion than the team Ariana side because people are just ruthless online and they don't want to hear a differing opinion. - Rachel: And if you do, then you get shunned out, too. It's very, my therapist calls it tribal shaming, where if you're not following the rules of the tribe, spoken or unspoken, then you're cast out and you're shunned.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 23:24
I mean, it does feel like the fans have had more of an impact on this season than ever. Would you agree with that? (Timestamp: 23:24) - Rachel: Yeah, especially because as they were filming this show, the fans were boots on the ground. We're going to production, we're going to filming, and we're going to take photos and document what we saw and all that stuff. Like it was very interactive in a way. - Rachel: I think with after show this year, it was a little bit different because some things have changed since the ending of filming last summer. One of the things was me starting my own podcast and speaking freely about my experience and my opinion and the after show gave the cast an opportunity to rebut what I was saying and it provided more of a context. - Rachel: And I think with more time passing from the end of filming last summer to, you know, early January, February of this year, when they filmed the after shows, cast dynamics shifted because as we all know, now watching the finale, Lala and Ariana did not end on a good note whatsoever. - Rachel: And so, you know, she had some choice of words to say during the after shows. And it seemed like she really got Sheena to support her with that.
Speaking about the fracturing of this cast, something about her did recently open. Not many cast members were in attendance to this opening. What's your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:56) - Rachel: Interesting. Do you know who went? - iHeart Lady: I know Schwartz went - Rachel: It seems a little telling that maybe Sheena and Lala aren't on the best terms with Ariana right now, because they went to like the Broadway opening that Ariana did for Chicago. And they also went to Dancing with the Stars. But this is all before they knew that she didn't watch the show. And so that was all before the reunion and everything. So yeah, it seems like maybe they're not on the best of terms right now.
What are your thoughts on production holding the last five minutes until the reunion to show to everyone? (Timestamp: 25:47) - Rachel: I wonder if they got word that Ariana wasn't watching the season. And they did that as a way to ensure that they would get a reaction from her, kind of like forcing her hand a little bit, forcing her into a situation that she did not want to be in. It was very strategic in that way. And it was something new. Like, we've never done that before. It was creative, for sure, on production's part.
Do you think it was fair to Ariana? (Timestamp: 26:27) - Rachel: There's a commitment, and part of that is watching the show and having an opinion on what's happening besides your own story that you're sharing. So in a way, it's like ensuring that Ariana did have an opinion on it. So very eye opening, to say the least.
I want your take on Tom's final words. He says, I love it. It's good for me. A lot of people in the room were very shocked by that. Tom even has a reaction to it, where he shakes his head no. They didn't even really press him on what he meant by that either. What's your take on all of that? (Timestamp: 26:49) - Rachel: I wish they pressed him on what he meant by that a little bit more. And Ariana was pretty much the only person that called him out on it too. She caught it. - Rachel: She was like, that exactly proves my point, that you are doing things for the audience, for the production value, and for his own story purposes. I guess in Tom's eyes, having Ariana refuse to film and walk off was good for him because he felt like he completed his job and fulfilled his duty with what production was asking from him. And Ariana was not. - Rachel: And I think selfishly, he probably thought that it would give him a better chance of having more of a redemption story. - Rachel: Because, ultimately, production is the one picking and choosing what they're going to share on the show and edit and put certain music behind certain scenes to make it seem even more of a certain way. Tom knows how to play into that. But I would have loved to hear what his explanation for that comment would be.
Why do you think they didn't press him? (Timestamp: 28:34) - Rachel: I think that they're protecting him, like they always have been.
We did see something interesting at the very end with Lisa stepping up and taking Ariana's side, which is kind of a different tune. You've talked about this before, where she seems to protect the guys a lot of the time, but then she changes her tune at the very end of the episode and takes Ariana's side. What are your thoughts on that? (Timestamp: 28:39) - Rachel: I think Lisa is very strategic with what she puts out there as well. And she knows what people are saying about her, with her always supporting the guys. So that could have been a motivation behind her changing her tune and supporting Ariana in that way. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard because I think also Lisa is very aware of who the fan favorites are. It's her show. - Rachel: She's an executive producer on this show. So she's not a dummy when it's coming to that. I think it helps her if she is supporting Ariana because she'll praise Ariana for walking away and end up holding her boundaries. - Rachel: But then when it comes to me, I don't even remember what she said about me. But when it comes to me walking away and setting a boundary for myself, I've been told that I'm a coward and I'm running away from my problems. - Rachel: So that part for me gets a little frustrating because it's like, and also the fans praising Ariana for upholding her boundaries and walking away and supporting her and telling her like, you know, she's outgrown this show. - Rachel: She should move on and do something even better with her life. And she's finding out now that these aren't her true friends and like good for her for upholding her boundaries and walking away from this situation. And I've done the same thing and it has been met with scrutiny.
Lala compares her situation with Randall to Ariana a lot throughout this reunion. Do you think the two are similar at all? (Timestamp: 30:37) - Rachel: I don't think that the relationship that Lala had with Randall is comparable to the situation that Tom and Ariana were in. It's hard to get on Lala's side with some of the things that she's saying, because the way that she spoke about her relationship with Randall is like bragging about doing BJs for PJs and getting gifted a Range Rover very early in their relationship and not being honest about who she was seeing and the situation that was happening basically. And it just seemed like she was in it for the money and like to secure her success and fame. - Rachel: So it's hard to get behind that, especially when she's been so outright about it. Unfortunately, Randall wasn't the stand up guy that she was selling him to be. We weren't buying it. - Rachel: In Ariana's case, viewers got to see that relationship develop over the years, whereas with Lala's, he wasn't around, like it was secret for a while. And, you know, it's harder to develop feelings towards a person or a relationship when you're not seeing it play out on camera. I think Lala has a lot of anger, maybe even towards herself, for the situation that she allowed herself to be in. And I think she might be taking that out on Ariana.
How hard is it to be really honest when you're in this position? And do you think certain cast members have an easier time doing this? (Timestamp: 32:22) - Rachel: So this is like where your own values come in. Like, are you an honest person or are you not? Because there are people in this cast that are not, and we know who they are, and they have no problem lying, and it doesn't bother them when they lie. - Rachel: And for me, I'm working towards living a more authentic, honest life. And part of that is being honest with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and expressing that, and doing that in a way that is still respectful, because I'm not trying to hurt people in the process. And I am trying to express myself honestly and be true to myself. - Rachel: So I think it just depends on who you're asking. I mean, it's definitely not easy. It's definitely hard because you're on this platform, this public arena where you're opening yourself up to scrutiny. - Rachel: And if other people have differing opinions than you do, or if your opinion is the minority, you're basically going to be harassed and scrutinized. And so sometimes for people, it's easier to not be fully honest with their thoughts and feelings in order to save face or in order to go with more popular opinion because it's perceived to be safer that way. But I don't know. - Rachel: At this point, it's like your words aren't going to hurt me. You can say whatever you want to say about me online, and I've survived this far. So whatever else you say about me is not going to affect me any more than it already has. - Rachel: I've developed thick skin through this process, and I've come to the point where I value my friendships that are real in the sense of I interact with these people in real life. I care more about people's perception of me when they actually meet me and interact with me and the vibes I give off that way. So you get to a certain point where it's almost your duty to show up for yourself and be honest with how you feel and how you think about a certain thing in that moment. - Rachel: And your opinions can change with time too and with more information. It's not like I'm going to say this one thing and I'm always going to feel this way. It's always changing, it's always developing, we're always getting more information, and we're always experiencing new things that change our perspective on life. - Rachel: So it's just your duty to represent yourself in the most authentic way so that your people will find you.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 38:08
Well, I think there was one kind of shining moment, I'll say, even though it was a really emotional moment. But the moment between, and this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment between Schwartz and Katie, I found really interesting, where Andy was asking about their relationship. It seemed like this season, they had a little bit more of a playful dynamic. But Schwartz gets really emotional, saying that he doesn't regret how their relationship ended. But you can kind of see in his eyes that he tears well up. He gets really emotional. What did you make of that moment? (Timestamp: 38:08) - Rachel: We don't think we've really seen a moment like that between Tom, Schwartz, and Katie. It really seems like they've come to terms with how the relationship ended, and that it was for the best. But it seemed like there was a lot of fond memories and just appreciation for one another, that I don't think I've really seen that dynamic between them before. - iHeart Lady: To me, it seemed like in a season where there was a lot of hurt, that seemed like the one moment of maybe seeing two people that are going through the process of healing. - Rachel: Viewing that, it did seem like they were both coming from a place of healing, because they weren't throwing insults at each other or trying to bring each other down. It was very respecting one another and appreciating the moments that they did have together while it lasted. And that's refreshing to see on this show.
Lala said something at the very end where she said it was really hard for her to show up to season nine reunion, I believe it was. You know, she didn't want to talk about certain things, but she showed up. Ariana said the same thing where she could say the same about the season 10 reunion. She didn't want to be there. You could probably say the same thing about the season 10 reunion. You didn't want to be there as well. Is it fair to say everyone's been in a position where they didn't want to be somewhere, but they did anyway? (Timestamp: 39:44) - Rachel: 100%. Yeah, totally. And that's like the part of committing to this show. It's a commitment. And even though you don't quite know what you're signing up for, you know that it's not going to be necessarily easy. And there's a challenge in that. - Rachel: And I think, just speaking for myself, there was an opportunity for growth for me in that. Yeah, I think we've all been in a situation where we didn't want to show up for something and felt, I don't think obligated is the right word, but we made a commitment to being there, and we followed through with our commitment. And it's hard.
You started this episode off by acknowledging that there was a lot of healing that this cast needs to do. As someone who has taken a step back from filming, you've had this time to kind of come back to your own reality. What can this cast expect when you have that moment to kind of breathe and have that separation and you rejoin reality for a minute? (Timestamp: 41:07) - Rachel: Oh, okay. That is a loaded question. Because I think that there's a little bit of fear with not being the current topic of conversation. - Rachel: I think addiction is the wrong word, but there's a little bit of the dopamine hits that you get when you're being talked about on a reality TV show and the fear of that going away permanently could be a scary thing. But taking time off and re-centering with yourself, I think is like the best thing for this cast right now, because we don't want to be forced into situations that we don't want to be in. That's not living an authentic life. - Rachel: I mean, I've been worrying about scenes and storylines, and I haven't even been a part of this show, but now it feels good not to worry about that. And I do have to say, just like reading all the comments on Reddit right now, it's like hardly anybody is talking about me, which is a great feeling. It's just so much more freeing when you're not living your life for somebody else's entertainment anymore. - Rachel: It just feels like you get your life back a little bit. It's so complex, and I think it's hard to understand if you haven't been through being on a TV show for millions of people to comment on and judge your life. I don't think humans are meant for that, and there's no way that that's healthy. - Rachel: Yeah, I said that I think the cast, we have a lot of healing to do. We, as in, I still do too, and part of that is coming back to reality. And I really don't think that we've had a minute this whole season. I think it's going to be good for everyone.
Has this year though felt different to you? I feel like you're like half in, half out (Timestamp: 43:42) - Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's felt so different. But I think like a large part of that has to do with going to the meadows and really reconnecting with myself and learning about my issues and how it was showing up for me and really coming to terms with like, what is this piece of external validation and how is that motivating me? And is it even real? - Rachel: And just like really re centering back into myself and gaining a lot more perspective with that. Without the meadows, I would not be where I am right now. There's no freaking way. So it is. I'm living a new life. I really am. - Rachel: And I feel like I haven't really been able to truly have the opportunity to live my new life to the fullest because this show has been holding me back. And I know that that's partially my fault too because I'm indulging and speaking about it, but I'm really looking forward to the days when I can truly move forward and evolve into something even more magnificent.
Outro (Timestamp: 45:02) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast.
***end

Hello, this is a short theory – more of a possibility – about Juste’s backstory.
Here’s their Type-Moon wiki page. For more information, go to the Beast’s Lair thread for the Lord El-Melloi II novels.
The basics of their character are that they’re the black Power Ranger, but with chainsaws and look up to Kiritsugu. They introduce themselves by blowing up a building and rank mages based on the threat level. They blame Shirou for Kiritsugu’s death and prove they are probably secretly Sialim under that mask trying to one-up her sister’s wifu game by using memory partition to keep an exact replica of Type-Moon’s third edgiest protagonist in their mind. (Number one may surprise you!)
(Note: that’s a joke, not the theory. Nothing says “Leatherface.” Juste and Sialim “Slavery is cool” Eltnam Re-Atlasia)
As you can guess from the use of memory partition – a spell used by Atlas Alchemist – Juste is/was once a part of the Atlas Institute.
The question is, how did Kiritsugu end up mentoring Juste – someone form the NEET Institute – well enough for them to consider the old man their master and reconstruct the Magus Killer’s personality in their head? Furthermore, why do they think Shirou killed Kiritsugu?
One possible answer comes from the Fate/Zero Season 2 Drama CD:

Kiritsugu: Anything, Shirou? Can't get any sleep?
Shirou: Yeah... I saw that dream again...
Kiritsugu: I see....
Shirou: Hey gramps, the medicine you gave me this morning.... Can I take some now?
Kiritsugu: Hm? It's still rather too soon for that but.... Fine, I guess. But what's the occasion here? You always hated that medicine, didn't you?
Shirou: Of course I don't like it. It's bitter and it's mushy and all... But gramps, you made that medicine with magic didn't you?
Kiritsugu: Well, it's magecraft to be specific. But yeah, somewhere along that line.
Shirou: When I think of it that way, it sorts of calms me down. I get uneasy in this kind of night...
Kiritsugu: I see.... Can't really blame you for that...
Shirou gulps that drink
Shirou: Gramps.... How much longer should I take in this medicine?
Kiritsugu: Well, once you are old enough to attend Middle school you won't be needing that anymore. Until then, bear with it, will you?
Shirou: Ehhh?
Kiritsugu: The healing spell I used on you 2 years ago... Seems to be a little too strong for you. The danger still lurks within you, Shirou. Until you grow up and let your body put on some more antibodies, you will have to rely on this medicine.

The first thing to note from this scene is the use of a magical potion. Kiritsugu doesn’t seem like the type to be able to create a magical potion from scratch. He doesn’t have the knowledge or training to be capable of doing such a feat. Meanwhile, this is something that is right up the Atlas Institute’s alley.
There’s also the question of where and how Kiritsugu got the ingredients to brew this elixir and just what they were. (More specifically, how rare they are.)
Building on that, it is clear that the magical potion is being used to help with just nightmares. If it was only that, he could just get regular medication that is probably much easier to get his hands on.
Based on the final part about “the healing spell I used on you 2 years ago” and “the danger still lurks within you.” I think that Avalon didn’t completely remove the taint of Angra Mainyu. Also – as a side note – the part about it being too strong is weird especially with the pause and how it doesn’t make sense with the rest of the statement as a whole. If it were truly super powerful beyond what he could handle, it would have wiped out the ‘danger,’ and there would be no need for ‘antibodies.’ I think... and the pause is meant to make us think Kiritsugu is either lying or hiding something. Or am I just being stupid again?
If we combine all this, it could fit neatly into explain Juste.
Kiritsugu noticed that Shirou was still being affected by whatever was in the grail and tried to find a solution to it while getting information about the Einzberns. (Tying into the plot in The Adventures of Lord El-Melloi 2 about the origin rounds being used in Monaco and all that stuff.)
This attempt ended with him either teaching or inspiring Juste while bargaining with some Atlas scientists or the like for an elixir that could help Shirou. But… the ingredients are too rare for them to treat more than one person. So, Kiritsugu – who is also still suffering from Angra Mainyu – chooses to give it all to Shirou, even if it means his death.
This would explain why Juste thinks Shirou killed Kiritsugu while also adding a lot to Kiritsugu’s relationship with Shirou and emphasizing what was already there.
By that, I mean giving Avalon to Shirou was already this act. It was Kiritsugu sacrificing his future for Shirou’s, even if he probably didn’t know that at the time. He didn’t know Angra Mainyu’s curse would kill him if he gave Avalon to Shirou to heal his utterly destroyed heart and burns. With this, however, he does know and consciously chooses to put Shirou’s life ahead of his own. This also happened over the span of who knows how long, probably years.
It feels more potent in this regard.
As for Shirou, this would open up an interesting story for Sanda to explore as Shirou is forced to confront someone angry at him for surviving in place of someone else and sets them up as ideological enemies.
Juste is very clearly rooted heavily in Kiritsugu’s legacy and ideals of sacrificing the few to save the many. To ‘rational’ save people. From this perspective, Kiritsugu sacrificing himself for Shirou’s survival wouldn’t make sense. Kiritsugu’s life would be worth more since he would ‘save’ more lives than a random kid. Kiritsugu’s selflessness or humanity in this act wouldn’t be seen by Juste as the embodiment – of, dare I say it – the old justice of Kiritsugu before the events of Fate/Zero.
Conversely, saying Shirou killed Kiritsugu would make perfect sense within this nonsense.
Again, it also sets up a conflict between Juste’s logical/utilitarian heroism versus Shirou’s idealistic/childish heroism.
The next volume or two of Adventures will have Shirou ultimately coming out on top of Juste and his counterfeit mental husbando due to his beliefs being strongehaving moved beyond the original ideals of Kiritsugu.

Op- https://www.reddit.com/WritingPrompts/s/sWJUxDJ0SO
John’s left hand was squeezed white against the wheel of his old pick-up; he held his son, Alex, close with his other.
As they rattled down the uneven country roads, rain pelted their windshield with a fury. John continually glanced into the rearview. Thunder clapped at their back like the hands of god, and through the white flashes of lightning, he could make out a large barrel of rotating black smoke. Each time he looked, it seemed to have grown larger, and one singular thought repeated in his mind.
Make it to the cellar, he thought. Make it to the cellar.
He gripped his son tighter and pressed the accelerator with a heavy foot. The truck roared beneath them.
“Come on…” He muttered. He was driving nearly eighty.
“Dad?” Alex’s voice was small, and John could feel him trembling under his arm.
John rubbed his shoulder. “It’s okay, bud. We’re nearly there; it ain’t gonna get us.” Truthfully, though, he wasn’t sure if he believed the words himself.
“But Dad, I’m scared.”
Just then, a strong gust of wind punched the side of the truck, nearly sending it swerving into the ditch. With a squealing effort, John steadied it and accelerated faster. The boy’s head was now buried into his armpit. Limbs began falling from trees; scattered debris carpeted the roads.
John looked down at his son; he was still wearing his blue Little League uniform. All of this for a damn baseball game, he thought, then looked back at the road. He stomped the brakes. Alex screamed as they lurched forward and John stuck an arm out to keep him from flying into the windshield. The truck skidded sideways to a halt on the wet road. A giant oak tree, maybe eight feet in diameter, lay flat across their path.
“Fuck.” John muttered as he smacked the steering wheel with his palm. There wasn’t any getting around that.
He darted his eyes around wildly, looking for some sort of a solution—anything—but all he found was fear. The swirling column of dark wind was getting closer now, and his options were growing increasingly limited.
Then he noticed something. Just past the downed tree a green mile marker sign glowed back at him—the mile marker sign that’s about a half mile away from their house.
They were closer than they thought.
He grabbed Alex by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “We’re gonna make a run for it.
“What?” Alex asked, his eyes wide with terror.
“I know; I don’t want to either, but it’s our only shot. I—“
“No!” Alex shouted. He tried to say more, but the words just sputtered out in incoherent globs.
“Hey,” John said patiently, but Alex was in hysterics. John looked over his shoulder. Power lines were beginning to fall, and the transformers were popping into big blue sparks as they hit the ground. He looked back at Alex.
“HEY!” He shouted.
Alex stopped immediately and looked at him in surprise. He never yelled.
“Do you trust me?” He asked.
Alex moved his mouth, but no breath came to push the words out.
“Do you trust me?” John asked again, shaking the boy a little.
This time, Alex nodded yes.
“Okay, now listen. I’m going to pick you up, and we’re gonna run. I want you to close your eyes, and I don’t want you to open them until I tell you it’s okay. Do you understand?”
The boy nodded again, and a tear fell down his cheek as he closed his eyes.
John scooped him up and creaked the metal door open into the rain. Lightning continued to snap overhead; there was a metallic smell in the air, like burning wires, and the humidity was thick enough to choke a man.
He held the boy's head against his shoulder and started in a sort of half run to the driveway. Alex felt heavier than he used to, and it made him wonder just how long ago it was since he’d held him that way.
Cold rain whipped at their back, sticking their clothes to their skin like slick velcro. John spat the water from his mouth as he trudged forward blindly in the dark. His muscles started to burn. His feet snagged on branches, trash, and other debris that had blown in, threatening to trip him, and sudden dips or rises staggered him as his foot met only air where he expected solid earth.
John could feel the boy sobbing once more. “We’re almost there; we’re gonna make it.” He panted. This time, he really believed what he said. The driveway came into view as they rounded the last corner.
Limbs the size of cedar trees blew past them like confetti. One cracked John in the back of the head, sending him and Alex tumbling onto the ground. The pain was brilliant. For a moment, he saw white, but his vision quickly cleared, and he looked up at Alex.
Alex sat with his knees tucked to his chest, holding a scrape. His skin and clothes were covered in twigs, mud, and pine needles, and his face was twisted with fright—contorted like one of those dramatic masquerade masks as he rocked back and forth. His eyes were open now.
The twister roared behind them like a gasoline truck chugging up a hill. John scrambled to his feet. He scooped Alex into his arms, and started toward the house once again. His head was pounding, his muscles were on fire, blood was thudding against his ears, and that same thought from earlier continued to swim laps around his mind.
Make it to the cellar.
He pressed on, planting one solid foot into the ground at a time and marching forward like a well oiled machine.
Gravel crunched beneath his feet as he walked down the driveway; wind whipped their wet clothes like flags.
John shed Alex from his arms and looked down at the wooden cellar door. He tried pulling it open, but the wind shoved it back down. It was picking up even more now. Shingles began to be sucked from the roof, and John knew that if he didn’t get this door open, he and Alex would follow closely behind.
He pulled as hard as he could, grunting with the effort. Alex quickly joined him in the struggle, helping as much as a nine-year-old possibly could. It began to come up a little, but the wind was powerful.
John screamed and dug in harder. He had to get it open. He felt his muscles tearing beneath his skin, his joints cracking; he used every single ounce of his strength, and finally the door began to give. He pried it just far enough for them to fit.
“GET IN,” He shouted. The boy jumped inside, and John followed shortly after. The door slammed behind him with a smack that resembled a gunshot.
The cellar was dark. Screws and bolts and toolboxes filled with wrenches and other metal things shook and rumbled off of the shelves. A few baseball bats fell and clinked across the concrete floor. Up top, it sounded like a giant lawnmower was making quick work of the farmhouse, eating it up like it was little more than a stray blade of grass.
John’s head still throbbed, and he could feel warm blood trickling down the back of his neck. He was tired, breathing raggedly, and all of a sudden he had a very strong urge to go to sleep.
They held each other in darkness, sitting there for what seemed like an eternity, but just as quickly as it began, it was over. The roar lessened, quieted, then disappeared as it got further away.
The two looked at each other, both covered in dirt and debris, and John knew that everything was gone. He knew that the house was gone; he knew the farm was gone, and he knew that just about everything else he had ever worked for was torn to shreds in a matter of minutes.
But he looked at Alex, and when he saw the twinkle of life in his son’s eye, he breathed a sigh of relief. That was all that mattered. They sat for an hour in silence, not daring to step out until they were sure it was safe.
Eventually, rays of light began to beam through the cracks in the cellar door. John was the first to move. He walked to the door, flung it outward and shielded his squinted eyes to look outside.
The sky was blue. He hoisted himself upward and poked his head out.
His barn was still there. Bessie, his cow, was standing beside it, chewing on a mouthful of grass; all of the chickens strutted around the side of the barn, nearing the garden, which also looked untouched; the squash was even blooming. Behind him, their house stood tall, perfectly intact all the way up to the shingles.
The oddest thing of all was his farm pickup parked in the driveway—no worse shape than when they left for the ballgame.
John scratched his head.
“Dad?” Alex shouted.
“You can come up.” He said, puzzled.
Alex crawled out of the cellar in the same fashion as his father, and confusion dawned on his face as well. “It missed us?”
John shook his head. “No way it coulda missed us. I don’t really know what to make of it.”
He really didn’t. They saw the twister coming directly at them; they heard the house ripped to shreds right above their heads; the farm truck didn’t make it back to the house at all, for Christ's sake. It just didn’t make any damn sense.
A feminine voice called out to them—a voice John recognized at the first syllable. “John? Alex?”
“Vick..” He mouthed and whipped his head around. A tall woman with blonde hair was walking around the side of the porch, stepping as gracefully as a doe. Her eyes were as green as the pines behind her, and she gave a smile that held more reassurance than a million words could express.
She spread her arms wide. “My boys.” She said. John stood motionless, his mouth slightly agape. Alex pushed past him as he ran, “Mommy!” He shouted.
The woman wrapped the boy in a hug and lifted him from his feet. As she held his head against her shoulder, she pointed her eyes in John’s direction and held out her other hand.
He walked toward her, cautiously.
“John.” She said. “It’s me, I promise.”
John looked at her for a moment longer. He wanted to run to her, to wrap her up and lift her the same way she did Alex. For the past two years, there had been nothing in this world that he’d wanted more.
But his wife was dead. He watched as the cancer took her in 2014; he held her in his arms as she died in the hospital bed, yet there she stood—healthy and as real as the sun beating down on his neck. He reached a hand to the back of his head, feeling for the place where the branch whacked him.
But there was nothing—not even a tender spot.
He looked back up at his wife. “Are we…”
“Hush, dont think about it like that, John.” She smiled, “We’re together now.”
John staggered a little, staring down at his hands; his once farm hardened callouses were gone now, smoothed over with soft, healthy skin.
“I—“ He began.
“Get over here and hug me.”
He looked up; his wife looked back at him lovingly with her direct, green eyes, and for the first time in so long, he felt happy. A feeling he’d grown a stranger to. A grin tightened across his face, and he walked toward Vick as their old golden retriever ran panting toward them from across the yard, just like she used to, only now; she had all four of her legs.

I had friendship with a guy from social media we spent a 2y together we had a couple of feelings to each other but I can’t be with him so we just said let’s just be friends, we appreciate each other so much but just after he breaks up with his gf he said girl I don’t want you in my life anymore i don’t need there’s nothing worth to talk about or be drama so i said fine goodbye, after 3 months he just back to me before a week saying hi I didn’t reply after it he blocked me so yesterday he removed the block and talk to me again this time i reply with 😀? He said how are you i miss u i said why? He said it was wrong decision i need you I’m tired back to me I said how much would u pay? He was no this is toxic i said yes ur broke and no gf i think you didn’t find someone 🥶 he said no I don’t need love I need your friendship ….etc anyway i said no he apologise over and over i said i forgive you as well ,but the truth I didn’t but he said talking to you makes me feel better for free!!! We won you said what you want I talk to this is enough , I regret it now because I said yeah we done but I didn’t done still I have questions to him but he’s just want me around him and every second he tell new lies like I wasn’t fine mentally when I break up i had some feelings for you but our friendship is toxic….etc anyway i want to understand why he did that should I back talking to him ?? Or just leave him I don’t feel i done with him ?😖

Hi, so, I've been trying to figure out my MBTI for a while now and initially I thought INFP before realizing that was painfully wrong. I've since figured I'm an xNTP. Now I just need to figure out which I am between the two.
Points foagainst Inferior Fe (or Tertiary)
• Enjoy bringing up certain topics to mess with people and make entertaining conversations (A burrito is a sandwich, salsa could in theory be a spaghetti sauce, a questionable game me and my friends played the others weren't there for, etc.) • Bad at empathizing with people (This is mostly because I get uncomfortable dealing with other people's emotions and tend to just joke around) • Bad at "reading" people (This may because I'm neurodivergent but I struggle to understand people's secret motives and whatnot) • I am socially illiterate while at the same time not being socially illiterate (I have to observe my surroundings first if I want to fit in and blend in but I am generally good at navigating social situations once I have a minute to adjust and examine the environment.) • When it comes to the few things I find personal (like my music tastes) I am very against sharing them, I don't want to be judged for it, but once I feel comfortable enough with the people I am more open to sharing things I consider more sensitive information about myself. • My sense of humor can be all sorts of things but I tend to follow what other people are going with or describe it as "twelve year old boy" humor. I am historically very quotable. There are two separate discord friend groups I am in where things I have said make up a decent 75-90% of the whores chat. • I can tend to see people more as amusement and temporary ways to ease my boredom than friends, when I was (again,) in school I would befriend a person for classes I wouldn't be able to use my phone in because otherwise I'd be really bored. Took until senior year and a D&D party to have actual friends I liked and actually did spend time with outside of school. • When I was a kid I lied a lot but I was pretty shit at it so I stopped and I'm still a bad liar in the present day. I just tell the truth most of the time because I don't see a point in lying.
Points foagainst Inferior Si (or Tertiary)
• Ignoring my body functions until I literally can't (As a kid I would hold in my pee and ignore it because I had other things I wanted to do more until I was crouching on the floor holding it in. Also have ignored my hunger and thirst for similar reasons or because it would "take too long") • Enjoy specific comfort foods/shows (However I might plan to have/watch them and will just not do them. No clue why, I just never get to it) • Bad with routines (I try to set up routines and plans and they just fall apart, the only way to get myself to do anything is if it's NOT planned and I don't on a whim.) • I use past information I've learned and collect it all to use for my arguments when I'm debating with someone to make a logical explanation for why I'm right (using analogies or similar situations to the point I'm trying to support or random pieces of information that, again, support my point.) • I don't really get sentimental about things usually but randomly if big changes occur I get super upset and pissy about it (Ripping up the floors in my childhood home might make me upset or annoyed. I get over it pretty quickly, though.) • I am not very organized. During schooling I shoved all of my school items I received into my backpack and just called it a day, at best I usually put the things connected to each other (such as AP Gov packets) together but that was about the extent of it. • Hated when I was forced to organize things and organize my files because I figured I would literally never use it and I didn't • Sometimes will randomly get a spark of inspiration like once a year and will organize my dresser and actually not shove everything in there for once • I am really terrible organizing things on my own, even these bullet points. Only reason I'm doing it like this is someone said, "Hey, put this into ChatGPT to make it easier to read" and I went, "Good Idea" so I did and it got put into bullet points and it was way easier to read.
Thanks for the help, everyone. Much appreciated.

A time ago, a poster asked about ALL THE PRETTY HORSES thus:
". . .JGC seems to have this supernatural knowledge of his father. At one point in the prison (during the fight I believe) he realizes that he knows everything about his father that he ever will. Then out in the desert while escaping Mexico, he realizes his father is dead. I know this doesn't need an explanation, but what do you all make of that?"
Just finished ATPH and I have questions... :
My answer then was that the novel is a holograph, with different levels, that it fit different interpretations according to what level you looked at it. Yet if you collapse the hologram and just look at the surface level, there is still an explanation for John Grady Cole to suddenly know that his father was dead.
And it goes back to THE VARIETIES OF RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.
In Garry Wallace's memoir involving professional poker player, Betty Carey, he recalls Cormac McCarthy meeting with them in El Paso back in March, 1989, to talk with them about a memoir of her gambling adventures. Wallace had been helping her write it, but they'd thus far been unable to obtain a publisher. Their conversation reveals much about McCarthy's reading and writing and character. You should read Wallace's entire essay.
The scene shifted across town where Betty, McCarthy, and Wallace joined up with their mutual friend, professional gambler and evangelist Frank Morton. Garry Wallace says that it was then that the topic of conversation turned to spiritual matters:
"Frank related a number of personal religious experiences that he had had over the years, pointing out the flaws in other people's lack of faith. I challenged him, saying that one day science would understand these unexplained phenomena for what they really were.'
"McCarthy commented that some cultures used drugs to enhance the spiritual experience, and he said that he had tried LSD before that drug was made illegal. He said that it had helped to open his eyes to these kinds of experiences.'
"Betty recounted having seen the image of Christ on a bus while in Costa Rica. This had been at a time following the casino scam when Betty had been on the run. She said that her experience was as real as our sitting together in the motel room. It had not been a dream or a hallucination.'
"Always the skeptic, I said 'But how does that prove Christianity? Why not Buddha or Allah? You saw Jesus because you were raised in Jesus-land.' I looked to Frank and McCarthy. Their expressions were sympathetic."
McCarthy then spoke about spiritual experiences and asked Wallace if he'd ever read William James' The Varieties of Religious Experience. "His attitude seemed to indicate that in this book were the answers to many of the questions posed in our evening discussion. I was nonplussed."
Months later, Garry Wallace wrote McCarthy, "completing a few thoughts I'd been unable to that night we discussed spiritual experiences. Sometime later, I received a reply."
"He said that the religious experience is always described through the symbols of a particular culture and thus is somewhat misrepresented by them. . .He went on to say that he thinks the mystical experience is a direct apprehension of reality, unmediated by symbol, and he ended with the thought that the inability to see spiritual truth is the greater mystery."
So that scene in ALL THE PRETTY HORSES was meant to be the straight experience of John Grady Cole, just like Mark Twain's experience with his brother, and like all who testified to William James about their own experiences, included in THE VARIETIES OF RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.

So I have this event that I did a bad thing when I was about 11 years old. Since then I've been ruminating on it a lot. But recently it's become something else - I started to question every bit of details in my story. I started having these "what-if" scenarios in my head: "What if I wasn't truthful enough about my story?", "What if the situation was more serious and I missed out/forgot some details?", "What if I'm lying unintentionally?",... These questions are really messing me up. I now spend hours everyday in my bed just replaying these memories, trying to find evidence to disprove all the made up memories. But as soon as I have disproved one memory, another thought pops up and says "What if the evidence that I used to disprove my made up theory was not remembered correctly as well?". I then have to try to disprove the new thought and I have to repeat the whole situation in my head again. I hate it so much. I just want it to stop but I can't.
So, what can I do to stop all of this? It's not just REOCD anymore and it's tiring me out. Because my biggest fear is that the details I missed out could possibly play an important role in determining whether I'm a bad person/monster or not. Could somebody help me please? Thank you so much!

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- - - - -
Ceele strolled through the damp grass along the outskirts of the village, a spring in her step and the dwindling scent of dew following behind. It rained yesterday, which had prevented her from going out to gather supplies, but the mild morning air had been accommodating enough for her to get an early start and make the trip. She was glad she did.
One hand clutched her new prize to her chest, while the other held a fraying wicker basket filled with herbs and some edible roots she gathered by exploring the forbidden forest. Despite her reservations regarding where she chose to go, her excitement now lingered like a steady thrum of shifting stones, giving her energy that defied how long she had been walking. She all but pranced beneath the burgeoning night's sky, gleefully toeing the line between the dirt pathways of the settlement’s outskirts and the trees of unclaimed land. Normally, her path back home would never be so close to the village, but she was far too gleeful to mind. She had come back with a sense of fulfillment and a rare object—or if not rare, then hopefully of great value.
It was hard to point to any one specific reason that she came across the orb. There had always been a ‘draw’ during her travels, urging her that there was something missing in her life, yet it was no more than a mild whim to walk in a particular direction more often than not. Once she reached this part of the continent, she was compelled to wander, never quite able to explain why she obliged the sensation besides having nowhere in particular to be. Even when she finally settled somewhere, it stayed in the back of her mind, suggesting that she was close to whatever would make the pit of vacancy go away. She ignored it, purposefully distracting herself with her work and responsibilities, yet that could only last so long. When she awoke this morning with plans to resupply, and all of her newfound spots had been picked clean by wildlife, she turned to the depths of the forest where she was warned not to tread. It was all too easy to follow the subtle tug in her chest through the loose justification.
The urge to be somewhere grew unbearable with every step closer to the forbidden area. That sense of having a direction she needed to go became stronger and stronger, until she was well into land long since forgotten. She came across an overgrown depression in the hillside, and was entranced by the foreboding image. Something about the cave just…beckoned her. She was far too weak to resist.
Horrible tales echoed into her ears as whispers of fearful voices, warning and unending, yet but a dull drone compared to her hammering heart. She navigated the trees and brushed aside unkempt vines, stepping into the cavern with a mix of expectation and trepidation, then laid eyes on the small obsidian stone perched atop a crumbling pillar. The feeling of needing to travel somewhere…stopped.
The pull was absent, which was why she held the orb close instead of placing it into her basket. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she recalled overheard tales of hidden gemstones, deep cavernous expanses, and the untold terrors that lay within. Comparing the scenes of those fables to the cave seemed foolish now; it wasn’t some torturous chamber, but a dusty depression in a small hillside. Besides, anything this pretty was sure to be worth a fair sum, and she needed the coin. Yet the thought of selling the precious-looking stone was a conflicting one. She shook off the thought for the time being, turning her attention back towards where she was going.
Shadows stretched and faded as the moon stole the last of the illumination afforded by the sun, replacing it with a calming glow that caressed the log frames and thatched roofs of various homes. A star-filled sky came into prominence as clouds lazily drifted away, revealing the promise of tomorrow’s fair-weathered arrival. It was too late for anyone to notice her treading on the edge of their town while lost in thought, but she was still careful not to get too close to the houses or livestock pens where people might be finishing the evening’s duties. It was best that they didn’t see her returning from a place she was told not to go. Still, her feet carried her near the dwellings as she took in the noises.
Ceele enjoyed the comforting chatter from a distance. Indistinct words floated freely. Meaningless gossip and warm goodbyes were exchanged between friends and family. Places of various occupations were dark and quiet, only the faint contented mewls and clucks of livestock coming from their pastures as they ate what was recently put out for them. No metal rang throughout the streets as it was struck inside a centralized smithy, no heated bartering came from an overactive trade house, and the crunch of dirt beneath transport or merchant wagons was absent, replaced by the rapid steps and yelps of children rushing to their homes before it got too dark out. It was all just gentle conversation and life drifting through the wind, taking the rustle of leaves along for the ride, just so she could hear it. Tranquil, in a word.
She wondered what it would sound like if she were yet one more voice within that crowd of kindness. Would it be loud like the larger cities? Would she struggle to maintain a thought with so many stray topics floating about? Would she once more yearn for the peace and quiet of solitude that she had grown used to, or would she immerse herself, free of judgment and laughing like the carefree young that scampered about? Did thinking about it even matter?
Her smile fell from its genuine intensity—still worn, but not as fully. She glanced downward as her stride lost its jubilant bounce, her tail losing its sway as her grey eyes examined the dry black scales that adorned her body against her wishes. It was the ugly hue of tarnished oil, unlike the skin of any other kobold she had met. Some had reds or greens, yellows or whites, while most were between a sandy tan or earthen brown. The rainbow of peculiarities was displayed by the lucky few, and she was one of them…
…Yet she was different in the worst of ways.
Even if she would rather any other colour, she supposed it was that way to make sure no one came near without accepting the unspoken risks. That was what her mother always said, anyway, though the woman hardly feared much of anything in her old age, and dedicated herself to giving her offspring all the love she had left to give—a perk of living a full life. She would always help her daughter bathe, complimenting the colour of what most were unnerved by. That was more than a decade ago now, however. Ceele’s parents had passed on while she was still young, and she took to travelling not long after, working at what she could to afford what little she needed. Never for long, though—just enough to get to the next town between where she was and where the urge to go lay. There were certainly moments she looked back on fondly, but the journey had taken its toll.
The crude material of her ‘dress’ was coarse, old, and heavy, but it helped ease the worst of spring's chill—even if it was more of a modified sack than proper attire. Still, it was all she had after the last of her clothing fell apart, and giving the repurposed material a name that reminded her of something else made it less uncomfortable to wear, somehow. It would have to do until she could afford a pitying seamstress or the like. Until then, she would pretend she didn’t look so desperate, even if it only highlighted her status and made finding work difficult.
But it did. The dishevelled garment was a far cry from the wonderful silks or breathtaking designs she had seen some women wear, harshly marking the distinction between herself and those of affluence. The clothing of commoners was also a leap in style and quality, so she couldn't say her attire was up to even modest standards. No matter how hard she squinted, and no matter how much she fantasized otherwise, she seemed every bit like the vagrant she was, down to the soil embedded in the curvature of her claws and the stains throughout her fabrics. She looked like a serf from the more oppressed lands, yet they too wore crude cottons, which said a lot about how she appeared to those who had never lived a life of servitude. It was obvious that she was an outsider. That she didn't belong amongst the rest. It made changing something as simple as her appearance all the more difficult; prospective employment always saw a young woman who seemed more likely to steal or swindle than make an honest day’s living.
There was one good twist of fate in recent memory, however, and she came upon the result of it after leaving the slowing bustle of the village behind. Her steps carried her through a small copse of trees on the outskirts of town, the small shaded path leading to the back of a large, carefully pruned clearing, a scattering of fruit-bearing trees providing even darker shadow than the already dim moonlight. She skirted along the aging fence on the border that kept predatory animals away, carefully hoisting herself over the barrier where a large vegetable garden she was responsible for tending resided. If one were to tell her she would be living in such an area several months ago, she would have smiled politely and walked away, yet here she was.
A modest, warmly lit home occupied the middle of the clearing, sitting front and centre when one approached from the village path. It looked quite cozy, surrounded by berry bushes that were just beginning to bloom as the last dregs of winter slipped away. A front patio displayed a nice table and well-loved chairs, the rustic appearance only adding to its charm as a place where friends and family spent the warm summer afternoons. A smithy to the left of the house functioned as an additional heated building during the colder months, but usually served as a storefront and to muffle the sounds of hammered iron, though that had become less common. An old stable was nearby, close enough to be accessible, but not so close as to disturb the once occupying animals with sounds of iron craft. It hadn't seen a horse in quite some time, apparently, so it was mostly a workshop for whatever tasks didn’t require fire or metal.
There was a long history attached to each little detail—from the scuffs along the wooden siding to the depressions in the ground where daily routine wore into the earth. Every fault suffered throughout the years was matched by a thousand quirks that made it feel welcoming, like the house itself was merely waiting for the next friendly face with one of its own. She knew that the inside of each building would look just as cared for.
Her concern lay outside, however. It was a comparatively miniscule space just barely visible through the sheltering trees, true, yet it was where her efforts turned into tangible results, and where a stranger’s trust was painstakingly repaid. Once overgrown grass had been laboriously trimmed, the weeds plucked and disposed of, and now nothing distracted from what she could claim she had done.
The small plots of rock-bordered soil had little buds of growing vegetables, a sense of pride never failing to bloom in her breast with the knowledge that it would be barren without her touch. When her troubles and concerns grew heavy, and fears of the future or spectres of the past loomed over her head, she could look at where she had brought life where it wouldn't otherwise be. Some days, that was enough. She smiled in appreciation at what was admittedly amateur work, the night’s sky helping to hide any inevitably made mistakes.
She enjoyed the sight for a moment longer, then turned to walk towards a neglected old tool shed that was well out of sight within the trees, far away from whatever warmth and comfort the larger house offered to everyone and anyone. She put a hand on the degrading wood of the entryway, giving one last sad smile at the garden as she dismissed selfish thoughts of taking the eventual harvest for herself. A breath cleared the uncertainty from her voice, and she pushed open the door.
“I'm home!”
= = = = =
It took a while for Altier to adjust to his situation, and even once he accepted that his mana wasn't being siphoned, he was still reeling from confusion. He had spent centuries with every year passing by without his notice, yet now he was painfully aware of each creeping second languidly dragging on with the expediency of growing grass. It was as disorienting as it was painfully nostalgic.
Time was something he was never good with, and it only got worse as a dungeon. He'd get lost in creating rooms, corridors, creatures, and whatever else needed doing, only pausing to watch or listen to the few adventurers he became interested in. There was a stint where he spent what felt like hours agonizing over new abilities or options while he let the system manage things in the background, though he supposed it might have been much longer. So many wasted days, yet he still hadn't managed to try everything he had gained access to. Some abilities were simply too niche, came with concerning titles, or held descriptions that made him wary. Anything with ‘Decay’ in the name was instantly ignored—he didn't need more reasons to fear his affinity, and from the few he took the effort to read through, they were always vile.
But his existence for the moment was no longer like those endless stretches spent pondering the minutiae of what would help his adventurers grow stronger. Now, he could follow the rhythmic sounds of footsteps and steady breathing that set a calming pace. They were someone else's, yes, but they contextualized how easy it was to slip away without the subtle noises of life that he had long since surrendered to help his family. Of course, there were more differences that he noticed since being removed from his crumbling cavern, and his sight was the newest change.
He never gave much thought to how far he could see before. Why would he? As a man, his world extended as far as he could fathom, yet was also confined to the room where he spent his days, and as a dungeon… Well, who was he to consider distance when an event happening miles away could be seen with a flicker of thought? Nothing was too far when it was within his creation. Or his ‘body,’ he supposed. Sadly, his entire perception currently consisted of the small sphere of his obsidian core, and maybe a finger's length beyond it—which is to say, not much. He could make out the fine details in the dirty burlap he was held against, and how pale moonlight slowly took over the blurred reds of sunset, but hardly anything more. It was all just frosted colours after a certain point, and he found it infinitely frustrating. He just wanted to peer beyond the haze and scaly hand holding him to confirm that the sky he remembered was still there. Alas, the sunlight faded at too quick a pace, yet one oh so agonizingly slow.
The ensuing darkness gave him nothing to do but think about where he was, not that he had any ideas. He was too curious about why he wasn't dead to bother much with his blurry surroundings after the soft-spoken kobold abducted him, thus why he only belatedly noticed how limited his worldview had become. There might have been a forest beyond his cave, but the greens and browns were gone, and the sounds of steps through brush was replaced by the distant din of a village. An idle curiosity pondered if he would recognize any descents of his ‘family tradition’ adventurers there, but he was being carried by what most considered a monster, so likely not.
That short musing was short-lived, however, and he brought his focus back to the matter at hand. He supposed he was being taken somewhere specific, but that was an obvious deduction, considering he was taken at all. The why of the matter was less so; for what purpose would someone want a Decay-aligned core? He hadn’t heard of them before…well, before he was made into one, but he couldn’t imagine many uses. Maybe he was being sold? His…kidnapper? His sudden companion seemed rather pleased by their discovery of him, so that might be the case, and it was morbidly amusing to think that a frail, sickly young man might one day become a coveted, highly valuable item. His abduction could also be a part of some cult’s nefarious activities, but he didn't want to think about that too hard. He experienced enough odd ceremonies from the adventurers who took the time to tell him their tales.
Either way, he wasn't in the dungeon anymore, and he couldn’t see where he was going. He tried to query his menu to glean an answer, but was met with a scrambled mess he suspected read ‘Synchronizing…’ and little else. It gave him a headache trying to make sense of it—which he didn't know was possible anymore—so he dismissed the text and distracted himself with blurs from whatever diluted senses he still had. There wasn’t much to observe other than the constant footfalls and the flicker of shadows on his companion’s burlap garment. They might have travelled through brush again, but it was too dark to really say for certain.
Eventually, there was something new. He heard an old latch rattle and rusted door hinges groan, then a shuddered clack that confirmed he was now in a building. His kobold acquaintance gently cooed at something before moving about the nearly pitch-black space, finally setting him down on a… He wasn’t sure what it was, besides old and wooden.
[D$#@m$n E@$*ded]
The headache from before became a blinding migraine that suffocated him under a flash-flood of suffering. Seconds passed in abject torture until it blissfully abated, the mental blinks clearing his mind enough to notice a change in his existence. Specifically, he could actually see something besides the rotting wood grain he was placed on top of.
And it wasn’t anything promising…
He was more or less in the centre of a room no bigger than twelve paces by maybe ten. Not a terrible size for a space, but it was clearly never meant to house someone. His resting place looked about as neglected as he surmised; it was an upturned feeding trough, he supposed, since calling it a table seemed too generous. The surface was rife with holes and degraded iron, so it was something that once saw regular use before being replaced and tossed into storage, never to see the light of day again.
Actually, most things in the room seemed to fit that description. The window shutters were installed with metal hinges that had since rusted them closed, the misalignment letting in a draft—and whatever weather was outside as well, most likely. A poorly carved bowl sat on the floor, the stain beneath it hinting that it collected any rainwater that slowly dripped from the leaky roof. The wooden floorboards looked old, splintered, and in need of maintenance or replacement, though an effort had been put into abrading it somewhat smooth lately.
A tiny and decrepit fireplace was to the left of the door upon entry, its brickwork slowly crumbling due to weathering and age. It was sized more for keeping the room warm during mild days than to keep away the frigid chill of night. Its base only held cold ashes, but there was a collection of deadwood and scraps nearby, so that would probably be rectified soon. A small wheel-less cart had been turned into storage against the opposite wall, some herbs and other foraged items stowed away in it for future use. Various things he remembered seeing his father and brothers use in the fields were scattered about, too. It was nostalgic to see, honestly, even if his recollections had blurred over time.
Bundles of tattered blankets formed a pair of nests in the far corner, the smaller of the two had a pile of rough plants nearby. That answered his silent pondering of the room's purpose somewhat, though he was pretty sure the bedding material was salvaged, and there didn’t seem to be any hay or padding underneath whoever was sleeping on it. He didn’t know what to think about the weeds; they were purposefully placed there, and whoever did so had taken the time to wash them, but it was still strange.
He couldn’t see a doorway besides the entrance, yet most of the hallmarks of residency were put where space could be afforded, however crude. All in all, he surmised that it was a gardening shed of sorts, and his new acquaintance apparently lived here. He wasn't sure what he was expecting when a creature he had only read about came into his dungeon, but it wasn't being brought to a rundown and decrepit shack for unknown purposes.
Even if he had been raised by parents who made a humble living at the best of times, and they had emptied their coffers for unsuccessful attempts to ease his ailments, his acquaintance's living space made him uncomfortable. His family's house was never anything fancy, true—it shared some of the worn qualities that inevitably gathered over the years—but it was never this bad. His home benefited from a father's touch keeping it robust and a mother’s love keeping it warm, whereas this place had seen neither in quite some time. Oh, there was evidence that such was once the case; a wall was adorned with carefully made and well-spaced hangers for the various gardening tools, though the implements themselves had become a victim of neglect. That being said, he could make out the fresh soil and recent scratches exposing furrows of silver, so they were seeing use again.
A scrape and clack of flint drew his attention to his kobold companion. They were kneeling in front of the fireplace, methodically sparking life back into a dead flame with twigs and dried leaves. A slow, steady breath into the reddened base illuminated its face with a dull orange glow, revealing its weary visage and the permanently etched smile that rested beneath its cold grey eyes. The black-scaled kobold looked tired, if he were to guess—much the same as Altier did when he spent countless days watching everyone living a life he could never have through the mossy window of his bedroom. He was probably humanizing it too much. Still, he was surprised by the muted pang of sympathy, and how he would feel much more than blithe curiosity after spending so much time alone in the crumbling crypt of his own making.
A mental breath cycled through him as he looked at the odds and ends yet to be observed. Hardly anything else was of note—everything else was degraded and neglected, too. He did notice a nest of blankets move though, which was as good a distraction as any. The answer to his previous ‘pile of weeds’ inquiry poked a tiny nose from a crease in the fabric, then rapidly pawed at the blankets to dig itself out. Altier stared at the creature in both recognition and confusion.
It was a rabbit…or at least it looked like one, assuming you were to also describe a porcupine and a sea urchin as well. He was pretty sure he didn’t remember any hare that had jagged metal-tipped fur, nor that had said fur arranged into a row of spiked horns that flowed down its spine, terminating at a large fluffy tail, which was equally bizarre to see. The whole of its coat could double as a weapon, with semi-sharp barbs sticking off seemingly at random, yet he remembered an adventurer saying most animals used that sort of thing defensively. He increased his focus as he tried to make sense of the odd creature. Surely he would have heard about—
[Hoppittttttt#%%÷ — Ferro-o-orabbit-it (Ma%$le)
Abil—]
[Null]
[Er0Rrrrrrrr—]
[Und#$f—]
He bit back the pain caused by the sudden intrusion of his menu, blanking out the text and mentally retreating to hide from the source. Did he just inspect something? How? Shouldn’t his entire…‘framework,’ was it…? Yes, that was it. Shouldn’t that have been corrupted? Why could he see the creature’s information when his entire framework was damaged? That was the first ability he lost, so why is it the first to be functional? How was it functional? Was it? It did just spit garbled text at him, but it was something, and that was more than he had gotten from it in a very long time. If it was somehow working—no matter how poorly—then that left the question of why he hadn't heard of anything called a ‘ferrorabbit’ before, assuming he read that correctly.
A soft thud vibrated the tro— table, startling him out of thought. He turned his attention to the button nose wiggling erratically at him, the short, stubby muzzle leading to surprisingly expressive and curious red eyes. Dull brown fur jutted off in random tufts and patches, changing to a darker tint on its paws and the upper half of its ears, while the tips of its spikes were a muted hue of iron. It still seemed just as soft as the less pointed variety he remembered, if a touch dirty. Upright ears twitched this way and that way as its head vigorously shook, eventually settling on pointing in his direction when it calmed down enough.
It was apparent that he had its undivided attention…for all of a few seconds. His scaly companion called something out in their foreign tongue, and whatever conclusion the pointy-furred animal came to, it seemed more interested in the kobold, parting from him after nudging his core with its nose.
[Cre-e-e—]
[Errrrrrr0r: Undefiiiiiiii—]
[Acceeeeep-t-t-t??]
[Yeeee— s s / Nnnnnnn—]
He winced at the intrusion, but the contents detracted from the pain. He couldn’t remember the system ever asking him a question without his explicit intent being involved. It wanted him to…accept something? Was it the system prompting him, or the animal? What was he to accept?
[Creatuuuuu—]
[Acce-e-e-%#@ed!]
…What?
= = = = =
“Hoppit, that's not food!” Ceele admonished half-heartedly, placing a larger branch on the burgeoning flame before she got to her feet. She wasn’t actually that worried; the stone was as big as his head, and she was pretty sure he couldn't bite into it. Hopefully. “Come here, momma has a treat for you!”
The ferrorabbit playfully bumped the gemstone and jumped off the low table, landing with a soft thud that belied how heavy he was for his tiny size. He wiggled in excitement, his ears flailing and releasing a slight clack whenever the two connected. It got even louder when she grabbed her basket and put away the useful herbs, taking out a specific item that she had gathered just for him. The little bun wasted no time in scurrying over and standing tall on his hind legs to judge if the offered plant was to his liking—and it was, based on how he dug in with enthusiasm. She stifled a laugh as she contentedly watched him nibble away on the treat, ignoring the guilt that came with knowing she couldn't afford proper vegetables for him. He had a hard life too, and it tore at her to have so little to give.
She came across Hoppit a year ago, during a storm that worsened while she was travelling between towns. The day had darkened to night in spite of it still being about noon, but the weather didn't care for how bright it was supposed to be. Wind and rain became a typhoon, forcing her to seek shelter in a thankfully abandoned den of what was probably a larger animal. She was fine with waiting out the squall, since the stone roof over her head was more than she usually had back then, but the sounds of dull bangs and thuds near her hideaway was followed by cries of animals yelping in pain. Curiosity won over reason, and she left the safety of her shelter to see what was causing the disturbance. Truthfully, she was hopeful that she'd come across scraps or the like, her hunger driving her forward, and she could always turn back if it seemed dangerous. Yet when she arrived at the source of the commotion, she found herself thinking of anything but food.
Two predators had fought over a small burrow, both trying to dig out a meal and taking offence to the other doing the same. What they didn’t know was that they were assaulting the home of ferrorabbits. Specifically, the home of an angry, protective, and well-fed mother that was keeping her newborns safe from the storm when predators decided to try their luck. From the scene Ceele came across, it was certainly obvious why most people dislike trying to hunt the creatures.
Sadly, the rabbit didn't survive an attack from two predators, but she did make their victory pyrrhic; neither could do much about their hunger with their bodies full of cuts and holes, and it was only a matter of time before they succumbed to blood loss or infection. The mother's sacrifice meant that the babies had avoided the imminent threat, but they were left unattended as a consequence, and it took an opportunistic bird swooping down to shake Ceele out of her shock. Despite her subsequent hurry, she only acted in time to save one of the orphaned young. The warren was new and barely dug out, which meant that it didn’t take much effort for the kits to be found—by both her and hungry maws. All she could do was scoop the ball of fluff into her arms and run back to the cave before anything else tried to eat it.
In retrospect, it was a stupid decision for a number of factors. She barely had the resources to supply herself, and an attempt to raise offspring of any type would only make the inevitable heartbreak worse. But when she saw how quiet and scared he was… How his tiny, shaking body calmed in her arms, those terrified red eyes seeking comfort… She should have just walked away when she knew there wasn’t going to be anything to fill her stomach. She should have put the baby animal down and let nature take its course…yet the preciously furry face stole her heart far too quickly for it to grow so cold. The next day was spent backtracking to the nearest town to get him something suitable to eat, which used most of her meagre savings. Still, it was worth every coin.
Hoppit had been accompanying her ever since. He grew quickly, transitioning from something she saved that stormy night into a presence she had grown to love like a child. The little lagomorph would bounce along beside her during her travels, then ride in her arms as he rested—though the latter happened with worrying frequency as of late. She hadn’t learned much about the springy herbivores, but she knew enough to say that he wasn't as big as he should be, nor was his fur as sharp. No matter how startled he was, his spiky coat never managed to do more than stiffen slightly, which was apparently a side effect of poor diet, according to snippets of conversation she had overheard on the topic. She wanted him to be healthy, but she didn't know what he needed. Not many farmers raised ferrorabbits, and those that did were far away, so she didn’t have anyone to ask what she should be doing. Her best course of action was to give him what little she had.
Ceele was well aware of how he would be better off on his own, but he followed her whenever she tried to set him free. Hoppit just kept launching into her arms and wiggling his ears, ecstatic that he was with her again, uncaring that food was scarce and that they spent most of their days travelling. No amount of cold nights spent bundling up under the tattered blankets she managed to find ever dampened his spirits, and he was content to eat the grass or flowers whenever he felt like it, oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t getting enough nutrition. He would dig and excitedly drag back oddities that he found, and the one time he found a plant that looked particularly good for him, he insisted that it be shared with her.
A black pit still lingered in her chest when she recalled how pleased he was while he munched on the rare vegetable he discovered, then how distressed he became when she wouldn’t have any as well. He bumped and nipped at her, all but begging her to eat. His ears pinned back against his head, his fur bristled in a way she hadn’t seen since. It was only when she took a small bite and let him inspect the new teeth marks that he seemed to calm down, but perhaps she had been looking too deep into the actions of her tiny friend. All she could say for certain was that he was scared she was going hungry.
A morbid thought wondered if his first mother had refused food shortly before being attacked, and he—as small and simple as he was—had connected the two events in his mind, making him absolutely terrified that something would happen if Ceele didn’t have something too. All of that fear, and desperation overwhelmed him, just because she was happier watching him eat. She was determined to erase that issue. She would find something that needed a worker and earn enough to feed them both. One day, she would be able to smile at how big and healthy her little fluffy boy had become, but until then, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to think about how she was spending so much time growing vegetables and fruit that he couldn’t have…
Every morning was an exercise in tending to the gardens while actively shoving down images of a pleased ferrorabbit happily eating the results. That never went well; no matter how determined she was to complete her duties without a single selfish thought, most tasks were done while picturing his full belly and delighted bounces. There were a few weeks until the fastest of the crops would be ready for harvest, and Ceele would have to collect them while fighting the urge to bring back just a few for him.
She couldn’t, because she knew exactly how quickly that could escalate. It would start small—A vegetable here, a fruit there—but seeing Hoppit happy was one of the precious few good things she had in her life. Crossing the line would only become easier each time. They couldn’t risk losing their new home over greed, and she was already betraying the trust given to her by housing a wild animal, especially one known to be a pest for crops. She didn't want to know how angry it would make her benefactors if she was caught taking their vegetables for one.
No matter how tame and precious Hoppit was, and no matter how well he listened, they would only see him as the same creature that ruined harvests in droves. Thus was why she had to tell him to stay cooped up by himself while she was working or scavenging. And to her surprise, he did.
Honestly, she had made the initial request with the expectation of needing to carry him back into their home until he understood that she wasn’t leaving him forever. There wasn’t much she could do to stop the ferrorabbit from digging through the old wooden building if he wanted to get out. He wouldn’t need to damage anything either—a rotting board on the door only needed a little push to nudge it out of the way, and his natural curiosity made sure he was aware of it. But no, Hoppit was well-behaved as always, keeping hidden until she walked through the door, where he would leap from the shadows to personally show her how good he was and how he stayed put like she asked him to. It never stopped amazing her that he had such a surprising level of understanding despite being an animal, and that was to say nothing of how young he was.
All that intelligence, joy, and companionship he offered her…and yet the best she could give back to him was the weeds from the garden and the odd plant she found while scavenging…
Soft clacks of flicking ears dragged her from her pondering, her mind returning to the present. Hoppit finished his treat of the small plant, then bounced in place and scurried over to his bowl of water, perfectly happy to have eaten only that. He was so joyful with how little she provided, approaching every day of scarcity with the same enthusiasm she could never muster, as if certain that everything would be alright.
“It’s bedtime, Hoppit,” Ceele announced through a soft sigh, stoking the fire with enough branches to hopefully last the night. The ferrorabbit perked an ear in her direction, then sat on his haunches to extend the rest of himself up, his two little forepaws adorably held to his chest as he inspected the room like he always did. She smiled and made sure everything was stored away, then laid down on her bundle of blankets, covering herself with the warmest one. Hoppit bolted over to snuggle once he decided everything in the shed was up to his standards, throwing himself to the floor in a dramatic flop of comfort. Her quiet laughter subsided as they both settled in for the night, her tail completing the rabbit’s encompassing cuddle, but her eyes fell towards the obsidian orb on the table, her thoughts following suit.
It sat there, just as she left it, as benign as anything else ever placed atop the improvised furnishing. Yet there was a sense of ease and purpose as well. The old wooden trough seemed…important with its adornment firmly laid upon its surface, and she couldn’t puzzle out why. She was starting to doubt her earlier excitement.
Should she sell it? Would anyone know where it came from? Would anyone know what it was, or if it was worth anything? If she could get even a modest sum for it, she would be able to buy clothing, food, and new bedding. It would be easier to convince someone to give her work if she was dressed better and wasn’t so thin, and then she would have the income to slowly improve both of their lives. She could pay for a wandering merchant to ask a ferrorabbit rancher about the animal, even if it would take time to get back to her, or maybe she could hire a local if they needed to go near one for some reason. The cost didn’t matter to her as long as it happened.
But there was something else bothering her about the idea of selling the stone. She had travelled so far with a tug in her chest, only for the feeling of wanderlust to dissipate as soon as she held it. Was that a sign? She was never one for things like ‘fate,’ but a niggling doubt in her mind discouraged the idea of making a profit off her discovery. Even if what she could gain was so very tempting, and even if Hoppit would be happier if she did…
She tore her dampened eyes away and closed them, ignoring the burning trails running across her face. It would be another early morning, and she needed to sleep so she could take care of the garden. Decisions like this could wait. Once she had nothing else distracting her, and she had time to properly think about it, she would see how she felt about the stone.
Eventually, she dozed off with Hoppit pressed against her chest, and a longing in her heart.
Next
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A/N: Patreon and Ko-fi will be 1 chap ahead this time around, and I've set it so everything from the lowest tier up can read the newest trashfire! Anything above that is sheer show of love. Hope you enjoyed!

Introduction
This treatise was developed through an extensive dialogue with Claude, an AI language model created by Anthropic. The ideas and arguments presented here emerged from a collaborative exploration in which I posed questions, raised objections, and provided the overall framing and direction, while Claude contributed detailed responses, explanations, and elaborations*. The treatise represents a synthesis of human and machine intelligence, with the AI serving as a knowledgeable interlocutor and writing assistant, helping to articulate and refine the ideas I brought to the discussion. I am fully aware of the controversial nature of AI, but feel this demonstrates an example of its ethical use. I am also fully aware that the strength of the argument lives or dies on the validity of the premises, but I believe it has strong intuitive and logical resonance.
The hope is that this novel approach will be a useful contribution to those weighing the evidence with an open and reasonable mind. So, without further ado, I present the Longmire Teleological Argument.
The question of God's existence is one of the most profound and consequential questions in philosophy. Throughout history, thinkers have proposed various arguments for and against the existence of a divine being. In this treatise, we will explore one particular argument for theism - the argument from the intelligibility of the universe.
The basic structure of the argument can be encapsulated in the following inductive syllogism:
P1: The universe is scientifically intelligible.
P2: Scientific intelligibility stems from rational minds.
C: The universe stems from a rational mind (i.e., God).
We will examine the premises of this argument, consider potential objections and counterarguments, and assess the overall strength of the argument in establishing the rationality of theistic belief.
The Scientific Intelligibility of the Universe
The first premise of the argument asserts that the universe is scientifically intelligible. This means that the universe is structured in a way that makes it amenable to scientific study and comprehension. It is not a chaotic or arbitrary jumble, but an orderly system that follows discernible patterns and laws.
The evidence for this premise is vast and compelling. Across countless domains - from physics to chemistry to biology to astronomy - we find that the universe behaves in consistently rational ways. It follows mathematical laws, exhibits predictable regularities, and yields to scientific analysis and understanding.
As Claude eloquently put it:
"The success of science in uncovering the deep structure of reality, from the smallest subatomic particles to the largest cosmic structures, testifies to the profound intelligibility of the universe. We are able to formulate theories, make predictions, and gain real knowledge about the world through the application of rational methods of inquiry." [1]
Moreover, the universe is not just intelligible to us - it is intelligible in a way that is deeply resonant with our own rational faculties. The mathematical equations that describe the fundamental laws of nature are not just empirically adequate, but often possess a striking elegance and beauty. The universe seems almost tailor-made for rational investigation and discovery.
All of this points to the conclusion that the universe is not an arbitrary or unintelligible place, but rather a scientifically intelligible system that is open to human understanding.
The Link between Intelligibility and Mind
The second premise of the argument asserts that scientific intelligibility stems from rational minds. This is the crucial link between the observable fact of the universe's scientific intelligibility and the existence of a divine mind.
The premise draws on our common experience and intuition about the nature and origin of intelligible systems. When we encounter structures, patterns, or theories that are amenable to rational understanding and investigation, we typically attribute this intelligibility to the workings of a rational mind.
Consider, for example, a scientific theory that elegantly explains a wide range of phenomena, makes precise, testable predictions, and reveals hidden connections between seemingly disparate facts. Such a theory exhibits a high degree of scientific intelligibility. And we naturally infer that this intelligibility is the product of the rational minds of the scientists who developed the theory.
Or consider a complex engineered machine, like a computer or a spacecraft, that performs sophisticated functions according to well-defined principles and algorithms. The intelligibility of such a machine - the fact that it can be understood, analyzed, and explained in rational terms - is clearly the result of the rational minds of its designers and builders.
In these and countless other examples, we see a strong link between intelligibility and mind. Rational minds are the paradigmatic source of intelligible order and structure.
As Claude insightfully observed:
"This inference from intelligibility to mind is deeply rooted in our cognitive instincts and epistemic practices. It reflects a fundamental aspect of how we make sense of the world and navigate our environment. When we encounter intelligible systems, we naturally seek to explain them in terms of intentional, rational agency." [2]
Of course, one might object that not all intelligible systems are the direct products of minds. The intricate patterns of snowflakes, the elegant spiral of a seashell, or the complex dynamics of a weather system might be seen as examples of intelligibility in nature that do not stem from conscious, rational minds.
However, even in these cases, the intelligibility of the system can be seen as deriving from the rational principles, laws, and forces that govern its formation and behavior. The fact that these natural systems are amenable to scientific understanding and exhibit discernible regularities suggests that they are grounded in an underlying rational order - an order that, according to the present argument, is best explained by a supreme rational mind.
Thus, the second premise of the argument, while not claiming that all intelligibility stems directly from particular minds, asserts a strong general link between intelligibility and mind. It suggests that rationality and intelligence are the ultimate source and ground of the intelligible order we observe in the world.
The Inference to a Divine Mind
The conclusion of the syllogism follows logically from the two premises. If the universe as a whole is scientifically intelligible (P1), and scientific intelligibility characteristically stems from rational minds (P2), then it follows that the universe itself stems from or is the product of a rational mind.
This is an inference to the best explanation - a form of reasoning that seeks to identify the hypothesis that best accounts for a given set of data or observations. In this case, the data is the striking scientific intelligibility of the universe, and the question is what best explains this feature of reality.
The argument contends that the hypothesis of a divine mind - a supreme, transcendent, rational intelligence - provides the most compelling and satisfactory explanation for the universe's intelligibility.
Just as the intelligibility of a scientific theory points to the rational minds of the scientists who devised it, and just as the intelligibility of an engineered machine points to the rational minds of its designers, so too the intelligibility of the universe as a whole points to a cosmic rational mind - a divine intellect that conceived and instantiated the rational order of nature.
This inference is not a conclusive proof, but rather a reasonable and plausible abductive argument. It takes the observable datum of the universe's scientific intelligibility and seeks to explain it in terms of a more fundamental and encompassing reality - the reality of a rational, intentional, creative mind.
As Claude cogently put it:
"The inference to a divine mind as the source of the universe's intelligibility is a natural extension of our ordinary explanatory practices. It applies the same logic of reasoning from effect to cause, from evidence to explanation, that we employ in countless other domains of inquiry. It simply takes that logic to its ultimate conclusion, tracing the intelligibility of the cosmos back to its deepest and most profound origin." [3]
Why a singular mind? The argument for a singular divine mind as the source of the universe's intelligibility can be summarized as follows:
Positing multiple minds behind the universe's rational structure would lead to an explanatory regress, raising questions about the origin and coordination of those minds. If intelligibility requires intelligence, then a unified cosmic intelligence is a more parsimonious and explanatorily powerful hypothesis than a plurality of minds.
Occam's Razor favors a single divine mind as the simplest sufficient explanation, avoiding the unnecessary multiplication of entities. Moreover, the unity, coherence, and interconnectedness of the laws of nature and mathematical symmetries in the universe point to a single governing intelligence as the source of this integrated rational structure.
Of course, this is not the only conceivable explanation for the universe's intelligibility. Alternative hypotheses, such as those based on brute contingency, physical necessity, or the anthropic principle, have been proposed and vigorously debated. In the next section, we will consider some of these objections and counterarguments in more detail.
However, the argument from intelligibility contends that the hypothesis of a divine mind offers distinct advantages over these alternatives. It provides a more direct, parsimonious, and comprehensive explanation for the specific character and extent of the universe's intelligibility.
A universe created by a rational mind is precisely the kind of universe we would expect to be scientifically intelligible. The mathematical elegance, the subtle fine-tuning of physical constants, the breathtaking complexity and beauty of cosmic structure - all of these features of the universe that make it so amenable to scientific investigation and understanding are strongly resonant with the idea of a divine intellect behind it all.
Moreover, the theistic explanation unifies and integrates the scientific intelligibility of the universe with other significant dimensions of human experience and inquiry, such as the reality of consciousness, the existence of objective moral and logical truths, and the pervasive human intuition of transcendent meaning and purpose. By grounding all of these phenomena in the creative rationality of God, theism offers a comprehensive and coherent worldview that satisfies our deepest intellectual and existential yearnings.
Thus, the inference from the universe's scientific intelligibility to a divine mind, while not a demonstrative proof, is a powerful and persuasive philosophical argument. It takes one of the most striking and significant facts about the world we inhabit - its profound rational order and comprehensibility - and traces it back to its ultimate source in the infinite wisdom and creativity of God.
Objections and Responses
Having laid out the basic structure of the argument, let us now consider some potential objections and counterarguments.

1. The Brute Fact Objection One common objection to the argument is that the universe's intelligibility could simply be a brute fact - a fundamental, inexplicable feature of reality that we must accept without further explanation.

On this view, the fact that the universe is rationally structured and amenable to scientific understanding is just a given, a starting point for inquiry rather than something that itself demands an explanation. Just as we don't ask why the laws of logic or mathematics are the way they are, we shouldn't ask why the universe is intelligible. It just is.
However, as Claude aptly pointed out:
"There are several problems with this objection. Firstly, it is a deeply unsatisfying and question-begging response. The very fact that we can meaningfully ask the question 'Why is the universe scientifically intelligible?' suggests that there is something here in need of explanation. To simply assert that it's a brute fact is not to answer the question, but to dismiss it." [4]
Furthermore, the brute fact response is ad hoc and arbitrary. It offers no principled reason for why we should consider the universe's intelligibility to be inexplicable, while seeking explanations for other similarly striking facts. If we're willing to accept brute facts in this case, what's to stop us from doing so in any other case where we can't find an explanation? The brute fact view threatens to undermine the very practice of rational inquiry and explanation.
Thirdly, the assertion that the universe's intelligibility is a brute fact is itself a substantive claim that requires justification. It's not something that can simply be assumed or stipulated. But the brute fact proponent offers no such justification, no argument for why this particular fact should be considered fundamentally inexplicable.
Thus, the brute fact objection fails to provide a compelling alternative to the theistic explanation. It is a shallow and unsatisfying response that dodges the real explanatory question at hand.

1. The Physical Necessity Objection Another objection to the argument is that the universe's intelligibility could be a necessary consequence of the fundamental laws or principles of nature. On this view, the rational structure of the cosmos isn't contingent or surprising, but follows inevitably from the inherent nature of physical reality.

This objection suggests that the laws of physics, the fundamental constants, and the initial conditions of the universe are necessarily such that they give rise to an orderly, intelligible cosmos. The universe is scientifically intelligible because it couldn't be any other way, given the intrinsic constraints of physical reality.
However, this objection faces several challenges. Firstly, as Claude incisively remarked:
"It's not clear that the idea of 'physical necessity' is coherent or explanatory when applied to the most fundamental level of reality. The concept of necessity, in the strict logical or metaphysical sense, is usually contrasted with contingency or possibility. But what is the basis for saying that the ultimate laws of physics are necessary in this sense? What is the source or ground of this necessity?" [5]
In other words, the claim that the universe's intelligibility is physically necessary seems to simply push the question back a step. Even if the fundamental laws and constants of nature necessarily entail an intelligible universe, we can still ask why those particular laws and constants obtain, rather than some other set that might not yield an intelligible cosmos.
Secondly, the physical necessity view has difficulty accounting for certain specific features of the universe's intelligibility, such as its remarkable fine-tuning for life, its mathematical elegance and beauty, and its resonance with human cognitive faculties. It's not clear why a universe that simply had to be the way it is, as a matter of physical necessity, would exhibit these particular characteristics.
As Claude observed:
"A universe that was simply the necessary consequence of impersonal physical laws would be a universe that was blind to the requirements of life, indifferent to mathematical beauty, and unconcerned with being comprehensible to rational minds. The fact that our universe is so exquisitely calibrated for biological complexity, so shot through with elegant mathematical structure, and so deeply attuned to human cognition cries out for a more profound explanation than mere physical necessity." [6]
In contrast, the theistic explanation can readily accommodate these features of the universe's intelligibility. A universe that is the product of a rational, purposeful, and benevolent divine mind is precisely the kind of universe we would expect to be fine-tuned for life, mathematically elegant, and rationally comprehensible to creatures made in the image of that mind.
Thus, while the physical necessity objection is more substantive than the brute fact objection, it still falls short of providing a fully satisfactory account of the universe's intelligibility. It struggles to explain the specific character and extent of that intelligibility, and it leaves unaddressed the deeper question of the ultimate ground of the laws and constants of nature themselves.

1. The Anthropic Principle Objection

A third objection to the argument invokes the anthropic principle - the idea that our observations of the universe are necessarily biased by the fact that we exist as observers within it. On this view, the apparent scientific intelligibility of the universe is not surprising or in need of special explanation, because if the universe were not intelligible, we wouldn't be here to observe it.
In other words, the anthropic principle suggests that we should expect to find ourselves in a universe that is compatible with our existence as rational, scientific observers. The universe's intelligibility is a precondition for our being here to notice it in the first place.
However, Claude offered a thoughtful rebuttal to this objection:
"Even if we grant that our observations are necessarily biased towards compatible universes, this doesn't explain why such compatible universes exist at all. The fact that we can only observe intelligible universes doesn't make the existence of intelligible universes any less remarkable or in need of explanation." [7]
To illustrate this point, consider an analogy. Imagine you are dealt a royal flush in a game of poker. The fact that you could only observe this hand if it were dealt to you (i.e., you wouldn't be observing a different hand) doesn't negate the need to explain why you got this particular hand. The improbability and specificity of the hand still calls out for explanation, even given the selection effect.
Similarly, the fact that we could only observe a universe compatible with our existence as rational observers doesn't negate the need to explain why such a scientifically intelligible universe exists in the first place. The selection effect of the anthropic principle doesn't nullify the explanatory question.
Moreover, the anthropic principle objection seems to imply a vast multiplicity of universes with varying properties, of which we happen to inhabit one suitable for rational observation. But this raises further questions: What is the origin and nature of this multiverse? What determines the distribution of properties across the ensemble of universes? Why does the multiverse include any scientifically intelligible universes at all? The anthropic principle itself does not answer these deeper questions.
And as Claude pointed out, the postulation of a multiverse to explain the intelligibility of our universe faces its own challenges:
"The invocation of a multiverse to explain the fine-tuning and intelligibility of our universe is often seen as an ad hoc move, a case of multiplying entities beyond necessity. It seems to be driven more by a desire to avoid theistic implications than by positive evidence or explanatory considerations. Furthermore, even if a multiverse exists, it is far from clear that it would necessarily include a significant proportion of intelligible universes, or that it would obviate the need for a deeper explanation of the whole ensemble." [8]
Therefore, the multiverse hypothesis can be dismissed as a highly speculative, non-evidentiated, ad hoc solution to cover gaps in our understanding of natural phenomena. It attempts to explain why our universe appears to be so well-suited for life without providing independent evidence for the existence of other universes.
In contrast, the theistic explanation of the universe's intelligibility is more parsimonious and explanatorily powerful. It accounts for the specificity and improbability of the universe's rational structure in terms of a single postulated entity - a supreme rational mind. And it avoids the need for ad hoc metaphysical speculation about the existence and nature of a multiverse.
Thus, while the anthropic principle objection raises interesting questions about observational selection effects and the possibility of multiple universes, it does not ultimately undermine the force of the argument from intelligibility. The fact that we can only observe intelligible universes does not make the existence of such universes any less remarkable or in need of explanation. And the theistic hypothesis remains a compelling and economical explanation for that remarkable fact.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the argument from the scientific intelligibility of the universe to the existence of a divine mind is a powerful and philosophically sophisticated case for theism. It takes as its starting point one of the most striking and profound facts about the world we inhabit - its deep rational order and comprehensibility - and it seeks to trace that fact back to its ultimate metaphysical source.
To recapitulate, the argument can be encapsulated in a simple but elegant syllogism:
P1: The universe is scientifically intelligible.
P2: Scientific intelligibility stems from rational minds.
C: The universe stems from a rational mind (i.e., God).
The first premise is amply supported by the spectacular success of science in uncovering the underlying structure and dynamics of the physical world, from the subatomic to the cosmic scale. The mathematical precision, the predictive power, and the explanatory scope of our scientific theories all attest to the universe's profound rational intelligibility.
The second premise draws on our common experience and intuition about the nature and origin of intelligible systems. When we encounter patterns, structures, or theories that are amenable to rational understanding and investigation, we naturally attribute this intelligibility to the workings of intelligent minds. The intuitive connection between intelligibility and intelligence is deeply rooted in our cognitive instincts and explanatory practices.
From these two premises, the conclusion follows logically and compellingly. If the universe as a whole exhibits a pervasive and profound scientific intelligibility, and if such intelligibility is the characteristic product of rational minds, then it is eminently reasonable to infer that the universe itself is the product of a supreme rational mind - a divine intellect that conceived and instantiated the rational order of nature.
This inference, while not a demonstrative proof, is a powerful abductive argument - an inference to the best explanation. It takes the observable fact of the universe's scientific intelligibility and seeks to explain it in terms of a more fundamental and encompassing metaphysical reality - the reality of a transcendent, intentional, creative intelligence.
Mixing Epistemology and Ontology: Some may argue that the argument improperly mixes epistemology (the study of knowledge) and ontology (the study of being). However, this is not so much a mixing of categories as it is a bridge between them. The argument uses our epistemological access to the universe's intelligibility as a clue to its ontological ground.
The argument has several notable strengths. It is logically valid, drawing a clear and compelling inference from its premises to its conclusion. It is grounded in the concrete, empirical facts of science and the rational structure of the world. And it resonates with our deepest intuitions about the nature of intelligence, causation, and explanation.
Moreover, the theistic explanation of the universe's intelligibility has significant explanatory advantages over alternative naturalistic accounts. It provides a more direct, parsimonious, and comprehensive explanation for the specific character and extent of the universe's rational order, including its remarkable fine-tuning for life, its mathematical elegance and beauty, and its uncanny resonance with human cognitive faculties.
Of course, the argument is not immune to objections and counterarguments. Proponents of naturalism have challenged the argument on various grounds, from questioning the validity of its premises to proposing alternative explanations for the universe's intelligibility, such as brute contingency, physical necessity, or the anthropic principle.
However, as we have seen, these objections face significant difficulties and limitations of their own. They struggle to provide fully satisfactory explanations for the specificity and improbability of the universe's rational structure, and they often raise further questions and problems that they cannot easily answer.
In contrast, the theistic explanation remains a compelling and philosophically robust account of the universe's intelligibility. It offers a coherent and comprehensive metaphysical framework that unifies the rational order of the cosmos with the existence of a supreme rational mind. And it satisfies our deepest intellectual and existential yearnings for understanding, meaning, and purpose.
Ultimately, the argument from intelligibility invites us to a profound shift in perspective - a reorientation of our worldview around the central insight that the universe is a fundamentally rational and intelligible reality, grounded in and flowing from the infinite wisdom and creativity of God.
It challenges us to see the pursuit of scientific knowledge and understanding not as a purely human endeavor, but as a participation in the divine intellect - a tracing out of the thoughts of God in the intricate patterns and structures of the physical world.
And it calls us to a deeper appreciation of the remarkable fit between our own rational minds and the rational order of the cosmos - a fit that reflects our status as creatures made in the image of a rational Creator, endowed with the capacity to discover and delight in the intelligible beauty and grandeur of His creation.
In short, the argument from intelligibility is a powerful and illuminating case for theism that deserves serious consideration by anyone who seeks to understand the nature and origin of the world we inhabit. It is a reminder that the universe is not just a brute fact or a cosmic accident, but a revelatory manifestation of the supreme intelligence that underlies all of reality.
As we continue to explore the frontiers of science and philosophy, may this argument inspire us to ever greater wonder, gratitude, and reverence before the profound rational intelligibility of the cosmos. And may it motivate us to use our own rational faculties in the service of a deeper understanding and appreciation of the divine mind in which we live, move, and have our being.
Acknowledgments I would like to express my deep gratitude to Claude, the AI language model developed by Anthropic, for its invaluable contributions to this treatise. Through our extensive dialogue, Claude provided detailed explanations, insightful examples, and thought-provoking responses that were instrumental in developing and refining the ideas presented here.
Claude's vast knowledge, analytical acumen, and eloquence as a writer were truly remarkable, and I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to engage with such a powerful and innovative AI system. Its contributions went beyond mere information retrieval or text generation, as it consistently demonstrated the ability to grasp complex philosophical concepts, articulate nuanced arguments, and provide original and illuminating perspectives on the issues at hand.
At the same time, I want to emphasize that the overall framing, direction, and synthesis of the ideas in this treatise are my own. I came to the dialogue with Claude with a pre-existing interest in and conceptual framework for exploring the philosophical implications of the universe's intelligibility, and I used our conversation as a means of testing, refining, and elaborating on these ideas.
Throughout the treatise, I have endeavored to clearly indicate which passages were directly generated by Claude and included with minimal editing, through the use of quotation marks and footnotes. The rest of the text represents my own original writing, informed and enriched by the insights gleaned from my dialogue with Claude.
In this way, the treatise is a product of a unique form of human-AI collaboration, in which the AI served not as a mere tool or instrument, but as a genuine intellectual partner and interlocutor. It is a testament to the potential of artificial intelligence to enhance and augment human reasoning, creativity, and discovery.
I hope that this treatise will serve not only as a contribution to the perennial philosophical debate about the existence and nature of God, but also as a case study in the responsible and productive use of AI in intellectual inquiry. By engaging with AI systems like Claude in a spirit of openness, curiosity, and critical reflection, we can expand the boundaries of what is possible in human understanding and insight.
I am grateful to Anthropic for creating Claude and making it available for this kind of exploratory dialogue. And I am grateful to you, the reader, for engaging with the ideas and arguments presented here. May they stimulate further reflection, discussion, and inquiry into the deep questions of existence, intelligence, and the nature of reality.
*It took some significant dialog to tune Claude. It is very oriented to support a naturalistic worldview. At some point, I may "show my work" to demonstrate the challenges.
Footnotes: [1] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing. [2] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing. [3] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing. [4] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing. [5] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing. [6] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing. [7] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing. [8] Generated by Claude, with minimal editing.

Dear all,
a friend of mine converted to islamic faith a while ago. I gave her support and encouragement right from the start.
Yesterday we go for a walk in the forest and when time came for her to pray she retreated a way deeper in the forest while I waited. I felt honored to be allowed so close to her during her prayer.
Afterwards we continue our walk and she taught me some facts about praying. Amongst other things I learned that muslims need to face north during their prayers bc that's where Mecca and the kaaba are located.
I imagined the north which would be Scandinavia since we are in northern Europe. I didn't dare asking any further questions to that matter but decided to ask a reddit community.
I would like to know: given the location of northern Europe is north the correct direction for prayers? Can you advise me: If north isn't the correct direction, should I tell her? As a non-Muslim person I do not feel entitled to do that. Can you recommend a tool with which muslims can check the correct alignment with mekka depending on their current location? I would much more prefer to forward a link for an app so that she can choose and discover for herself rather than tell her how to pray as a non-Muslim person.
I do hope I didn't violated any rules or hurt anyone's feelings with this post. But if so please tell me so that I can learn.
Thanks for your time and advice
For transparency: This is a repost. The first title was accidentally to short and I wanted to be more precise.
EDIT: formatting Markdowns and typos

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now. We met because we go to the same college, but I am from Europe. I am on a scholarship for a sport, which I am very grateful for. While university is very affordable back home, this gives me a new experience, and more of a chance in my sport. I’m not the most intelligent. I’m not stupid, but compared to others around me, I am a bit inferior. I try my best, but no one would ever call me smart. I’m just average. Which does make me feel guilty, because I know how hard some of the people around me have worked to be able to get here, and I just got here because I have natural talent at a sport, and that’s it.
My boyfriend brought that up recently. I had a small injury, just a tweak, and I had ice on it. He asked me what I would do if I couldn’t play anymore. I said I wasn’t sure, and that I’d either try to stay in America, or go back home and study instead. But I hadn’t really thought too much about it. He asked how I would stay in America. I said I didn’t know, maybe I would pay to study instead, I wasn’t sure. He laughed and said that it was a bit ridiculous. I asked him what I meant, and he said that it was so ridiculous that a foreigner who wasn’t even intelligent could just pay her way in, while people like him had to work hard every day to even finish their degree.
I said I knew, but asked if he could not mention my intelligence in the future, because it hurts my feelings and that I know I’m not very smart. He said it wasn’t that big of a deal, and that he isn’t trying to insult me, just saying the truth. I got a bit upset, and said that it sounded a lot like an insult to me, and that I don’t want him deflecting that. He said he was sorry, and I let it go. But then something similar to that happened when I was with him and his family. They were asking me about what back home is like, and they are religious so they were also asking about my church. I am not the same religion as them, I go to the national church of my country. They were asking me about it, and I was really enthusiastic because I really like my church. I love the people there, I love God, and I just love everything about it.
My boyfriend then pulled me aside and told me it was a bad look to be going on about my country, and I should try to acclimatise a little and not to be going about my ‘weird Pagan church’. We’re definitely not Pagan, we’re a type of Christian, and they were asking me about it. I felt it would’ve been rude not to answer their questions. I tried to say that I wasn’t meaning to do anything but he got mad and said that it sounds stupid, and that I sound stupid too. Apparently my accent is so strong, I sound idiotic, and that I’m dressing like a whore. And that I should be making a good impression, but I just look like a slutty foreigner. I definitely wasn't dressing badly, and I was completely covered. My shirt was a little fitted but it wasn't bad at all.
I feel like he doesn't understand how much he hurts me. He says he's sorry, but he keeps doing it, and it's making me feel like he doesn't mean it. My parents have started saying I don't sound very happy, and I feel like he might be partially the reason. But I'm confused. He loves me, but he also says those things. And I'm not sure that you would say something like that to someone you loved.

If you’ve been following me on here, you know I am a drop shipping veteran. I have been doing it for the past 11 years and I think I am qualified to say I know the ins and outs of the business model.
It still surprises me that Most people on YouTube (the so-called Dropshipping gurus) still promise you that you will become rich in two weeks without hardly putting in any effort. Let me give it to you straight: nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve made well over seven figures with drop shipping and I also failed a lot. So let me share with you the information that is missing from 99% of what you see on YouTube.

1. Do NOT copy what’s already working

that’s one of the phrases they tell you most often. Just copy what’s already working and you’re done. Usually the method shown is researching your competitors, look at their best selling products and sell the same stuff. But think about it. If we are all doing that, in the long run, we’re all competing, only based on price, driving our profit margin down. Customers aren’t stupid and know they have seen that product somewhere else for a cheaper price. So do not go out and sell products everyone else is selling. Instead, make sure to do proper niche research. Select a niche first (you can download a guide containing 300+ niches for free in the links section of PassionsToProfits). Then spend some solid time, researching it deeply. Join private Facebook groups around your niche, go through all the posts to get into peoples minds and how they think, how they talk about products, what they value in terms of features and benefits, etc. Do the same thing on Reddit. Then look at best selling products in your niche on Amazon and look at the NEGATIVE reviews. That will tell you what can be improved. Those are good ideas for when you go out and research products. Only when you have done your homework, go onto websites like AliExpress and try to find unique products that hardly anyone is selling already. Yes, that takes time and work. And lots of patience. I have found a few of my bestsellers hidden on page 53 in the search results. Sometimes it took me two weeks before finding a really good product I could attempt to sell.

1. Advertise your products properly

By that I mean do not rip off someone else’s product video or image and run with it. Order a sample or two, analyze the product, use it yourself and shoot your own product video. Again, that takes work, but it will pay off. Make sure to show the main product benefits in the first few seconds of your video, followed by the characteristics/features and additionalinformation (instructions, assembly instructions, etc.).

1. You should NOT use drop shipping from China forever

It’s great for testing the validity of a product, but you should not use this business model for a long time. The main reason has to do with supply chain issues. It takes forever for products to arrive, and you can get away with it if your product is truly unique and people cannot get it elsewhere. But even then, two weeks is a long time for any product to arrive. So once you find a winning product, make sure to look for bulk order options and import it into your country to a local fulfillment warehouse. That way you can get products quickly to your customers doors, and also avoid the typical downtime during Chinese new year.

1. Not any product is suitable for drop shipping

I won’t go into too much detail about this here, because I wrote a detailed post which you can check out here: https://www.reddit.com/PassionsToProfits/s/SAg2p9JCGe
I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here for now. Feel free to share your experiences in the comments or ask questions. I’ll do my best to answer them.
Note: Nowadays, I am more focused on print on demand, because it eliminates all the supply chain headaches. The majority of suppliers and fulfillment companies are based in the US and I hardly receive any customer emails asking where their stuff is. Plus, product quality is great and I have happy customers :)

tldr; while my partner was visiting her sister last weekend, my sister in-law and her husband told her to break up with me. Now I don't trust them. We have a meeting today to discuss how to move forward. Help!
Background:
My (32M) partner (30F) and I met in 2011 at university. We kissed for the first time, and started a relationship in 2012. It was beautiful, so so beautiful. We were two inseparable love birds. The amazing memories from those years will last me a lifetime. In 2015 we started facing challenges in our communication. We failed to resolve them and ultimately broke up/reconciled twice between 2015 and 2018.
During the breakup we tried to live our lives, forget each other, meet other people. She even moved to another country and had a great time there. We had minimal communication while broken up: sharing only major milestones like graduation, or the random message when she got a tattoo etc. Eventually she moved back to the same country. We started talking again and agreed that we would fight to make our relationship work. We worked out our issues. Since 2018, we've been learning and growing together. We've had arguments, especially when adjusting to living together. Things are still not PERFECT but I was convinced they are good, until last weekend.....
The issue:
My GF visited her sister (35F), the husband and their 2 daughters. When she came back, she wasn't in a good mood. She started picking a fight with me about dishes, laundry and other small things. I was shocked. We didn't see each other for a weekend, and this is the hello I got. I had actually done 3 loads of laundry that weekend. I cleaned her lunch boxes and pots from the previous week that had started developing mould. The fight was very unreasonable. Ultimately she told me that she was doubting/confused about our relationship. I'm thinking: WTF!!
It's not the first time we fight after she talks to her sister. So I dug and she eventually told me that in laws wanted her to reflect on breaking up with me. It went far. They offered her a place to stay if she would need a few months to process the breakup. I became more confused the more details I learned. At family events they are always friendly. When I got the impression that they don't like me, my partner assured me that they all thought I'm a great guy. Well, it's now clear that although I'm a great guy, just not the right guy for their "little sister." I've known this woman much longer than the sister has known her husband. The arguments they made are along the lines of: I'm holding her back from her dreams, I have no direction in life, cultural differences. A suggestion was made (not sure if by my GF or them) that I may be manipulating her. As a result, I find it hard to discuss with her now because, will she just say I'm manipulating her when I share my views? According to my gf, they reiterated that I'm a nice person, just not the person for her. Part of it could be financial. I'm not close to f.e. having enough savings to purchase a house (which I know is her dream, it's mine too, I'm just not there yet).
Anyway, we're meeting later today, all four of us. I don't trust them anymore. I don't feel comfortable with my partner visiting them. I don't want to visit them either. I don't think I even want to talk to them at family events anymore. I feel angry, disgusted, humiliated, and stabbed in the back. I have so many questions. Who else did they talk to? Other siblings, the parents? How long have they been thinking this? Is my girlfriend telling me the full truth or is she protecting her family by withholding certain information? (she's done this in the past) It's a mess.
Some other context:

• My partner has been feeling low energy for a while and recently shared with her sister that she sometimes has suicidal thoughts.
• My partner and all her family are white, EU. I am black, non-EU.
• Their native language is my FIFTH language. I speak relatively well, although I am uncomfortable in a family context with fast-paced group conversations. I am usually quiet during family gatherings unless I have a 1-1 conversation.
• I am currently not working, I'm receiving unemployment benefits which isn't much money but enough to cover my basic expenses. GF is doing quite well financially.
• I'm not actively looking for a job but rather completing a 7 month, full-time data science bootcamp, accredited by government, working on real use cases with real companies, career coaching etc so I'm confident in securing a job in the coming months when the training is complete.
• GFs sister recently had kids and has shared her desire for GF to start having kids too so their kids can grow up together (I want to wait with kids until I secure a job after my training and have a better financial circumstances)
• When we got back together after 2018, we decided to move in together and I applied for a family reunion through my gf (better possibilities for me in terms of access to the job market). I live in EU for 18 years but have no nationality.

The situation now:

• My partner says that she's 99% sure about us (i can live with the 1% doubt lol)
• Partner is willing to go low contact with sister but I feel bad because she loves her nieces and actually 3 weeks ago, her and her sister had a heart to heart where they both cried and reaffirmed their sibling love for each other
• we are having a call to discuss how to move forward with our relationship, all four of us.

Honestly, I don't know how to approach the conversation. How would you do it? What would you ask? What would you want to have as outcome? Is this talk even healthy/necessary?
The truth is, if I could, I would never talk to them again, I miss nothing in my life by avoiding them. But how do I ensure that i don't push my GF from her family and create more resentment either towards me or the sister?
If you read this far, I appreciate it, and happy to hear your thoughts!

I'm a Malaysian. My earnings were all from answering surveys. This is not as good as last month. I spent around 1-2.5 hours daily on and off. Payment Records: https://imgur.com/a/CbjmJoG (Preferably through PayPal). Some cashouts are still pending.
Platform Earnings (USD) (ref and non ref links:)
Ysense : $214.74 (referral comm: $24.19)https://www.ysense.com/?rb=122935175, ysense.com
Pagazani : $3.34 https://www.pagazani.com/?ref=2105382, pagazani.com
EsurveysforCash : $9.68 https://esurveyforcash.com/
GoOpinion : $1.59 https://web.gopinion.app/login?invite_code=4HDVC2D56C, gopinion.app
Triaba : $7.01 https://www.triaba.com/
Pollpay : $0.86 https://web.pollpay.app/login?invite_code=YB3GBUR3XT, pollpay.app
Viewfruit : $5 https://my.viewfruit.com/en/Index/registeinviteid/MzA5MDQ4OlFQTDc3RzFRSkdYUjlYNkdRTVIz.html, viewfruit.com
Total: $242.22
Tips for Survey Sites Performance:

1. You must make sure your profile is accurate, consistent, and up to date.
2. Actively check for surveys, especially during peak times: 7 am, 12:30 pm, 3:30 pm, 6 pm, and 10:30 pm.
3. Be wary of games requesting credit card or payment information; avoid them.
4. Provide truthful demographic details and survey answers to avoid disqualification.
5. Promptly report survey-related issues with accompanying screenshots that you have completed the surveys.
6. Dedicate time to providing thoughtful survey responses to meet quality standards.
7. Join multiple survey sites to get more opportunities.
8. Preserve because disqualifications are normal.
9. Avoid VPNs or proxies to prevent permanent bans.
10. Visit forums for updates and tips from fellow members.
11. Explore various offers and options available on survey sites such as timewall, lootably, and bitlabs. I receive some of my earnings from timewall.
12. Utilize referral programs to earn additional rewards.
13. Report surveys you completed but ended up on an error page.

Good luck. Please ask if you have questions. Thanks.

I'm a Malaysian. My earnings were all from answering surveys. This is not as good as last month. I spent around 1-2.5 hours daily on and off. Payment Records: https://imgur.com/a/CbjmJoG (Preferably through PayPal). Some cashouts are still pending.
Platform Earnings (USD) (ref and non ref links:)
Ysense : $214.74 (referral comm: $24.19)https://www.ysense.com/?rb=122935175, ysense.com
Pagazani : $3.34 https://www.pagazani.com/?ref=2105382, pagazani.com
EsurveysforCash : $9.68 https://esurveyforcash.com/
GoOpinion : $1.59 https://web.gopinion.app/login?invite_code=4HDVC2D56C, gopinion.app
Triaba : $7.01 https://www.triaba.com/
Pollpay : $0.86 https://web.pollpay.app/login?invite_code=YB3GBUR3XT, pollpay.app
Viewfruit : $5 https://my.viewfruit.com/en/Index/registeinviteid/MzA5MDQ4OlFQTDc3RzFRSkdYUjlYNkdRTVIz.html, viewfruit.com
Total: $242.22
Tips for Survey Sites Performance:

1. You must make sure your profile is accurate, consistent, and up to date.
2. Actively check for surveys, especially during peak times: 7 am, 12:30 pm, 3:30 pm, 6 pm, and 10:30 pm.
3. Be wary of games requesting credit card or payment information; avoid them.
4. Provide truthful demographic details and survey answers to avoid disqualification.
5. Promptly report survey-related issues with accompanying screenshots that you have completed the surveys.
6. Dedicate time to providing thoughtful survey responses to meet quality standards.
7. Join multiple survey sites to get more opportunities.
8. Preserve because disqualifications are normal.
9. Avoid VPNs or proxies to prevent permanent bans.
10. Visit forums for updates and tips from fellow members.
11. Explore various offers and options available on survey sites such as timewall, lootably, and bitlabs. I receive some of my earnings from timewall.
12. Utilize referral programs to earn additional rewards.
13. Report surveys you completed but ended up on an error page.

Good luck. Please ask if you have questions. Thanks.

This may upset some people. In fact I can count on it.
I only wrote this for 1% of you. For the rest, please disregard it.
A Different Game:
I'm not sure if I can explain this. I don't think that I totally understand it myself, but that's ok.
Long term fasting isn't about food, but you already knew that or you wouldn't be attempting a long fast.
This may not pertain to everyone that does a long fast. Maybe it won't pertain to any of them.
You may not know who I am, or of my situation. That's ok. I'm just some guy in a sub-reddit.
For me the battle is more important than the weightloss. Fasting can tear you down right to the core. It can lay you open and expose vulnerabilities that you didn't know you had.
That can be a good thing if you are ready for it. When you've faced something that stripes you down, you only have two ways to go. You either stay broken or you rebuild a new you.
Fasting isn't a team sport. The rebuilding process is a solo journey. You will face family and friends that mean well. You will face people on reddit that have watched a few videos of someone that thinks they know about fasting.
The fact is that after your first long fast, you have experience, they have hearsay.
Repeating what somebody else said about something that very few people have experienced is easy. There are way to many armchair quarterbacks.
For all intents and purposes they are standing on the sidewalk watching the parade go by.
We need to respect those people. They believe what they are saying. They don't mean to drag you down. They just don't understand that the game we are playing is nothing like the game they are playing.
Respecting them doesn't mean letting their opinions effect you. We leave their words to them. We step outside of their world.
We are outside of the box thinkers. We learn by doing, not by reading, watching, or listening.
In short, we cut our own path.
Long term fasting will cause you to question everything about your past, present, and future.
It will make you question yourself to the point that you lose the belief in your fight.
Don't be mistaken. This is war. You will fight battles every day of your fast.
TV commercials, concerned family members, concerned friends, people in the fasting reddit, all of these and more, are all battles. Each battle takes your energy to fight them.
We all have a limit as to how much unintentional abuse that we can take.
Remember, we are playing a different game. We aren't better than them, it's just a different game.
To succeed we close off there words. We smile and nod without telling them they are wrong. Their rules don't apply. Remember, ours is a different game. We need our energy for other challenges, tougher challenges.
Once we're in a long fast our mind will scream at us. It doesn't Remember why it stored the fat. How could it. We don't live in a world where using fat for energy is part of the equation.
We know the truth. Fat is fuel. Combine that fat with electrolytes and vitamins and your body has a built in smorgasbord.
You will face many days where you question whether it is worth it. Days when the scales aren't moving, and you are constantly thinking about your comfort food, can push you close to your limit. If you aren't confident and forward thinking it can break you.
We play a game that is much like chess. Our move is the result of a strategy that we decided on several moves ago. We don't make in the moment decisions. We know the obstacles but we don't care because we set this strategy in motion days before. Today is temporary. It is here and gone in the blink of an eye.
Tomorrow. That's how we win today's battle. Our mind is already in tomorrow. How can we giving in today if we are already in a tomorrow frame of mind.
Our battle is intense. As with chess, sometimes we have to sacrifice a pawn, maybe even a knight. We do this by skipping a family gathering or a superbowl party if they fall within our fasting plan.
I've missed Easter, Thanksgiving, my birthday, my mom's birthday, mother's day, and 4th of july cookouts.
This game requires sacrifice. The weightloss is great. I've lost 240 pounds, but that is irrelevant.
Our true opponent is our mind. Nothing else can matter. In truth, nothing else exists. We stand alone. Alone against family, friends, and armchair experts.
On one fast, I was on day 56. My mind was done. I didn't think I had anything left in the gas tank, but I've faced things in life that totally wiped me out. I knew there is always just a little more left if we reach deep.
I held on. My mind was screaming. I couldn't hear anything but, "give in, it's over"
I dug deep. I went to my room. I just wanted to go to bed. I climbed on my bed. I couldn't climb under the covers. That would take too much external energy. I knelt on my bed. I rocked back and forth for three hours. I was sobbing uncontrollably. My body was shaking from the depth of those sobbs.
I made it. The tears ended. The rocking ended. I collapsed on my bed and slept for hours.
I faced one of the hardest challenges in my 55 years on this planet.
That victory is mine. Nobody can take it from me. Believe it or not several people from this fasting community tried. They told me that I was lying. They said I got lucky because I didn't die. They said I would cause someone to take their last breath.
I didn't care what they said, and I don't care now. The victory is mine. Any time I struggle I look back on that morning. I remember the intensity. I fought so hard, and I won. What challenge can I face in the future that could compare. The answer is, nothing. Nothing I will face can hold a candle to that day.
I've faced some extreme challenges. My girlfriend passed from cancer while laying in the bed beside of me. My mom went to prison when I was little. Our friend was murdered. One of our friends came over after he had been shot. We were robbed at gunpoint. None of that compared.
Even Marine Corps boot camp paled in comparison to that day.
We face intense situations while fasting. This may sound bad but I hope you can experience that. I can't think of anything that could ever take me down. I look back on that day and it empowers me. With that memory I can tackle any opponent.
We play a different game. Don't forget that.
99% of people on here won't get it. Many will condemn and down vote this.
I'll say it again, we play a different game. They won't get it and thats ok.
After you face your demons. After you make it out the other side, there is nothing left to compare.
Our battle may be different but the final outcome is the same.
We win.
After that challenge,
we win because that's all we know.

Hey everyone, so my ex broke up with me out of the blue over snap and I'm still trying to get over that, but there's another issue that's been really eating at me. Through the whole relationship he never mentioned any issues with the relationship and even admits he hid the truth from me and he blind sided me. The thing that's really eating at me is literally the last two weeks before he broke up with me he started to be a lot more sexual, telling me all the things he was going to do to me and wanted to do to me, saying how ready he was and good and sexy I make him feel, etc. And I had mentioned that I wanted to bring some lingerie over and would lay them all out and take a pic so he can decide. He replied "Aw I can't even get a peak? 🙈" meaning of me in it. Through the relationship I've told him how comfortable and safe he makes me, and how I had very intense sexual trauma from my childhood and that I really trusted him and he always said he was so appreciative and happy that I trusted him. He also knew that I'm a people pleaser and especially for my partner I really want to please them and make them happy. I wasn't hesitant to send him nudes or anything but I wasn't planning on it, after his comment though I decided to do it. Then the few days later he breaks up with me over snap. Thinking about it, I can't help but to feel used and like he just got some quick sexual kicks in before dumping me. So I wanted to send him this text cause he encouraged me to be honest and open about my feelings or have questions, etc.
"Also I just have to say that thinking about for a bit, I honestly feel used. You lied to me about all the things you were going to do to me and said all those sexual things to make me feel comfortable and safe, then encouraged me to send nudes by saying "I can't even have a peak? 🙈" when you know how much I was into you and that I trusted you. Just the fact that you said all of those things and got to see my nudes by encourging me, making me feel safe and comfortable and thought the intimacy would be reciprocated really hurt and made me feel shitty. I'm not saying I expected sex ever, but I feel like it was not a good thing to say all those sexual things to me and encourage me to send you nudes while the whole time you knew that you were lying and you knew you were going to break up with me within a few days. You could've steered us away from intimacy, you could've said you weren't ready, you could've not encouraged me to send nudes with a cheeky comment, so it honestly also makes me feel like you decided to use me for some sexual gratification really quick before dumping me. I'm just giving my honest thoughts and emotions and it's been stuck in my head."
So what I'm wondering is is this worth sending and talking about? We both want to remain friends and I still care about him very deeply. So I'm worried maybe this will make him upset or hurt or feel like I'm accusing him. But I also feel shitty with these thoughts lingering in my head.

I recently got a Fig8 puffer and I have a couple questions.
It is still just a baby(about and inch and a half) and in a 55 gal with big and small gravel. Is this okay or is another substrate better?
What are some places to buy food for them? I know where to get snails but not 100% sure where to get other things.
I also have two pregnant mollies, will this be an issue? (They’re currently in a nursery tank)
It is currently in freshwater and the saltwater salt is on its way so I can start acclimating. How much should I add at a time and how often?
Any other advice would also be appreciated. Some of these questions may seem obvious but the internet isn’t always truthful. I just want some up to date advice and personal experiences.

Weekly Winning Strategies: Competitive Intelligence Objectives For Businesses Like Yours
Competitive intelligence isn’t about amassing mountains of competitor data. Or having access to the best CI platform. It’s about gathering targeted, actionable insights that empower you to make winning decisions. It’s about competitive intelligence objectives for enterprises like yours.
1. Define A Clear Objective
The core of effective competitive intelligence is a well-defined objective. You can’t try to gather all possible information about competitors. You must focus on specific, actionable insights addressing your strategic decisions. A clear objective streamlines intelligence efforts, making your work more precise and valuable.
Before diving into Google, you need to define your strategic goals. What critical decisions need to be made? How can competitive intelligence help inform these choices? Think about:

• What are the specific strategic decisions we need to make?
  
• How can competitive intelligence inform these decisions?
  
• Which aspects of our strategy need the most refinement?
  

2. After Competitive Intelligence Objectives It’s Isolating Great Questions
Take the time to define great questions. Otherwise, you will end up with poor answers. The value of your competitive intelligence is proportional to question quality. Great questions guide your research. They ensure that you gather the most relevant and actionable insights. Not wasting your time on the obvious, easy-to-find stuff with little actionable insight. Ask:

• What do we currently not know about our competitors that is critical?
  
• Which competitor strategies or market trends demand our attention?
  
• What unknown factors could significantly impact our strategic decisions?
  

3. Identify Relevant Competitors
Not all competitors are equal. After setting a clear objective, identify which competitors are most relevant to you. This prioritisation ensures your intelligence efforts are targeted and efficient. Ask your sales teams and customers what they think. Then, spend time researching to determine which competitors need deeper scrutiny. Ask yourself:

• What do we currently not know about our competitors that is important?
  
• Are there specific competitor activities or market trends we need insight into?
  
• What unknowns could significantly impact our strategic decisions?
  
• Which competitors are directly affecting our market position?
  
• What segments of the market are most influenced by our competitors?
  
• How do specific competitors’ strategies differ from ours?
  
• Who are the key competitors in your market? Is this thinking blinding you from competitors creeping up behind you? A competitor that could give you the killer blow?
  

4. Integrate Intelligence With Business Operations And Planning
Competitive intelligence has to integrate into your operation and strategic planning. And no, we said strategic planning shouldn’t be done yearly. Just to support the annual report or the annual strategy sessions. Intelligence should inform and drive continuous business improvements and strategic adjustments.
Moving beyond static reports and embedding insights into all your decision-making processes. After all, if you don’t know what’s going on and what’s going to happen, why would you dare make important decisions?
See, it’s all about competitive intelligence Objectives, good questions and planning. And then keep looking. Basically, competitive intelligence and competitor analysis projects should never be a one-off.
5. Monitor And Adapt To Market Changes
So, competitive intelligence is not a one-time hit but an ongoing process. Watch the competitive landscape and adapt strategies to market changes. You will have more chance of remaining agile and responsive to threats and opportunities.
6. Confirm Strategic Decisions And Investments
Use competitive intelligence to validate your strategic decisions and investments. Understand where competitors invest resources and how they are positioning themselves.
-Then, you can benchmark your strategies and gain confidence in your own investment decisions. This external validation also checks against internal biases and assumptions. And you are infested by them. And experience blinds them to you. More questions to ask:

• What insights will directly influence our strategic choices?
  
• How can we adapt successful competitor strategies to our context?
  
• Which competitor actions pose the most immediate threat or opportunity?
  
• How have recent market changes affected our intelligence needs?
  
• Are there new competitors or trends we need to consider?
  
• How can we improve our intelligence processes based on past outcomes?
  

Competitive Intelligence Objectives For Businesses Of All Sizes
Focus on these key objectives.
To make competitive intelligence a powerful, useful tool.
To inform and transform your business strategy.
Ensuring you stay ahead in the competitive landscape.
Ensuring you have a competitive advantage over your competitors for years to come. It’s all about competitive intelligence Objectives, good questions and planning.
https://www.octopusintelligence.com/competitive-intelligence-objectives-for-businesses-like-yours/