Hey Reddit, I need to share something that happened recently with my daughter.
For context, my daughter has been dealing with a bully at school for years. I've tried everything: talking to the parents, contacting the school. The parents shrugged it off as "kids being kids," and the school pretended to care but didn't do anything substantial. I've asked my daughter multiple times if she wanted to switch schools, but she always said no because she didn't want to leave her friends. She's had a rough time making friends due to her autism and ADHD.
This bully has been relentless, and lately, it got worse. He would shove her in the halls, call her names like "retard" and "weirdo," and even throw her to the ground. Despite a recent growth spurt making her taller than most kids in her grade (5th), she didn't know how to defend herself. My wife always encouraged "killing them with kindness," but that never worked. I've been telling her for the past year to stand up for herself and fight back if necessary.
Yesterday, she came home crying, and it broke my heart. I wasn't harsh, but I was firm and told her that if she didn't fight back next time, I would pull her out of that school. Well, today I got a call from my wife after work. She told me what happened. During lunch, the bully shoved my daughter to the ground, bruising her knees. My daughter got up and punched him right in the face, causing his nose to bleed.
The bully started crying, and my daughter felt a bit bad (she has a heart of gold). His parents contacted us, threatening to sue, saying their son's nose was broken. My wife is upset with me because I'm over the moon about it. I don't condone violence, but in this case, something had to be done. Anyone who disagrees hasn't seen the pain this bully caused my daughter.
If his parents had taken it seriously when I first spoke to them, it wouldn't have come to this. I had my own bullies as a kid and never stood up for myself. I'm glad my daughter is tougher than I was. I hope this teaches her to never be afraid to stand up for herself. Today, I'm a very proud dad.

On Feb 1st 2024, I quit my corporate job, sold everything to travel abroad indefinitely (early 40s M)
I wrote a post about it in this community (just not sure now to link it).
I decided to provide an update, to keep the community updated, but it's also a platform for me to just write what's on my mind, and see what feedback (positive on constructive) the community provides, if any at all..
3 days after I quit my job, thanks to my yearly bonus hitting and a nice market pump in February, I finally hit the 1M net worth mark.. $1,004,000 to be precise.. It was a sureal feeling, I didn't do anything special.. I was actually in a Bangkok Marriott Lounge, and just poured myself a cold glass of Chang..
Both my parents passed away a few years ago, I grew up poor, and didn't get my shit together until early 30s. And now to retire and have 1M net-worth, I just thought about my late father for a moment, who worked so hard, didn't get an opportunity to really retire, and died with a few cents in his bank account. I knew he would be proud of me, that I actually have an opportunity to live a life that I want.. just a humbling moment that I won't forget (even if I end up broke and back to work).
I've spent these last four months slow travelling, spending a month or so in Thailand, vietnam and the Phillipines. I've knocked some amazing bucket list items off that include:
Taking a 4/5 night boat expedition in Palawan from Coron to El Nido. Surfing Siargao Waterfall chasing in Siquior Visit amazing lagoons in El Nido & coron Motorbiking Through Vietnam Hanging with a childhood friend who came to visit me in Thailand
Those are just some of the highlights for me these past four months.. I'm sure I will make even more as the time goes by.
I've met some amazing people during my travels, other travelers and locals as well. It does get lonely at times, but I knew that was the price of admission when I embarked on this solo journey..
Financials:
I've been tracking my spending to the dollar. I actually enjoy it (I guess it's kinda like a job) it's data that I like to analyze. I've been using this app called Travelspend, the premium version is $15 or so a year, and worth every penny. I definitely suggest it to anyone who wants an efficient way to track spending during their travels.
This 1st year I set a budget of $50k, since I knew I would travel a lot and do many activities.
I am pacing under budget (and haven't really sacrificed much)
Feb/March: Thailand- $7000 total. I was in vacation mode, and had a few different friends come during those two months. Drank/partied a bit too much, but I budgetted for it.
April: Vietnam $1500. No partying, just surfing, motorbiking the mountains and eating pho' , mi Quang , and too many bahn mi's
May: Phillipines. $2200.. island hopped.. went to El Nido, Coron, moalboal, Siquior, & Siargao. Amazing time .. such a beautiful country, with pretty much no rules. Jumping off cliffs into the ocean, rope swings off beautiful waterfalls, and the boat expedition which was the highlight..
Net-worth: 1,040,000. So an increase of 35k.
For context/background: I am using cash to fund these next 3/4 years until I start my SWR from my investment accounts in the future.. I had approx $165k in HYSA @5%. When I started. So currently approx $875k invested and approx $155k in cash .. I did have to pay a $3k tax bill in April as well ..
I still worry about money and my future. Think it's just who I am.. I'm just trying my best to at least enjoy these 12 months of travel, until I start thinking a bit more about my future, like long term stay and maybe do something on the side for extra income to keep my mind busy.
4 months In and I don't miss work at all .. it's definitely a weight lifted off me, sleeping much better at night.. sure I get lonely at times as I stated, not really bored yet, but my mind does start thinking of work at times (how to make more money, etc). Maybe that's normal, I'm not sure.
I'll try to update this a couple times a year..

Deep down I knew I don’t need permission or confirmation that my mother is generally malignant and the ultimate source of suffering in my life right now. But I can’t accept why my own mother would do that to me.
So I am turning to you for advice, support, and insights for ways to separate yourself emotionally and individuate from your parents later in life when you should've done so much much earlier. The adult part of me knows what I should do but there is also a part of me that is frightened. let me give you a snapshot of my life trajectory. The story is long but I want to give you as much contexts as possible. If you want a short summary of the dilemma, go to the last paragraph, otherwise, here is my life story (it is long because I want to give as much context as possible, and also show clues for the many different ways a narcissistic parent can disrupt your life): I grew up in a well-to-do family in an East Asian country, my parents gave birth to me when they were in their early 20s and just as their business started taking off in the 'boom years'. Both of them came from very broken family, my mother suffered poverty, abuse, and neglect from her parents (she did not speak to her dad until he died, and almost never acknowledges her mother). My father was the least favourite child in his family of three, he dropped out of high school, ended up on the street (and, as I learnt a few years ago, later in prison for getting into fights). My mother met my dad (21) when she was 19 and ran away from her hometown, they grew a very successful business together in the early to mid 20s and became incredibly wealthy for a society that is generally still very poor. I had a lot of luxuries in my early childhood, we had a car, I had good clothing, but my parents were never around. I started boarding at the age of 3, and generally spent most of my time outside of kindergarten and school with my paternal grandparents, and occasionally, my mum's mother. My parents fought a lot, and I remember my mother threatening to take me away from my dad and drove away from home with me in a car with nowhere specific to go. Once things got really bad and my mother told me that she is divorcing my father, and we even went into another flat (for a grand total of 1 day) before returning home. She emotionally smothered me, told me that she would die for me and nobody would love me as much as her. As the expression in our language puts it ' You are a piece of flesh fallen from my body'. She hit me a lot, often over small things , sometimes in public, I remember being thrown outside of our apartment and crying in the corridor. But I thought she was better than my father, whom, in my mother's words, would swiftly remarry in an event of her death/departure, and I would then be abused by another evil mother in law and her offsprings. My dad was completely absent from my childhood save for the first year (I remember playing video game, going to the park with him at the age of 3).
Although my family was wealthy, my mother took me out of the posh international school I was in after 6 months and sent me to a state school that is (in)famous for being extremely strict and militant. I was a 'good, smart kid' in primary school, but when I got to the state school at the age around 12 or 13, I became very depressed and that life has no purpose. I was falling at almost all school subjects (except History), and I started drinking (my dad drank a lot, and alcoholism is culturally tolerated if not perpetuated). At this point something happened that saved me in retrospect. My family decided to emigrate to an anglophone New World country and I went to yet another boarding school there. Yes, I experienced racism and generally felt horrible about the way I looked (not good looking in the Western sense or sporty), but I got to be separated from my family and grew as an individual. My grades got better, and by year 12, 13 I was among the best performing students. Between 13-18, I rarely see my father (perhaps once or twice a year), my mother would visit periodically, they bought a house next to the school, so I started to live in the house (mostly alone, sometimes with my mother and whatever hapless young women she manipulated into being her assistant). My parents couldn't speak English, and I dealt with most family matters, as with many first gen immigrant kid. By the time that I was supposed to go to university, I wanted to do law & politics at the public university in my adopted hometown but then my father intervened stating that I would never get a good job at a respectful company with a degree from the backwater 2nd rate university. He insisted that I should go to the U.K. or the U.S. He also stopped me from taking a gap year to travel, so I mostly stayed at home, played game, whilst being a driver and an assistant to them for a year. I regret not leaving home and getting a job. I applied to many universities in the U.K, Canada, and Australia, got into most of them, and ended up choosing the worst ranked university because I wanted to be in London. I couldn't do a conjoint degree so I chose to study politics (as that's what I was interested in). University life was eye opening, I got to see Europe, realised that the world was much bigger than the conformist, conservative East Asian country and the backwater suburbs with strip-malls and junk food stores I grew up in. But the degree did not prepare me for life, and all those years of bad parenting, emotionally under-development made me miserable in my first taste of adult relationships. I chose emotionally distant if not abusive friends, was a horrible person who hurt people who actually liked me and loved me. I did no internship or travel because I was expected to go home during school holiday, helping them move house, looking after guests, and being the 'little husband' when my mother was giving brith to my youngest sibling. I really wanted to stay in London, I looked for jobs, very random jobs because I had no life skills and never ever made my own money. So in the end, I left, and had to return to East Asia. By this time, my father had moved to another, more cosmopolitan East Asian city as his lifestyle became more and more extravagant. I lived with him and started interning at a fancy company in the culture industry. I worked there for almost a year hoping they would offer me a job, they did not. I got another job fairly soon in brand consulting, and finally at the age of 23 started making money. I had a relationship with an older woman, she was kind and tolerant, and I was an arse. I also realised that I cannot combine intimacy and sex at this point. I tried to start my own freelancing consultancy, acquired the ability to impress other people (faking it). Things seem to be working, I almost made enough money to support my life, but I was fundamentally lost and unhappy. I had the first depressive episode in my life. I wanted to go back to London, to get a Masters degree. So I applied and got into my dream school, my father agreed to pay for my education, so off I went to university again. That was probably the happiest year of my life, it turned out I loved elements of academia, research, being with other smart nerdy people. I met an intelligent, caring, and beautiful woman, and we moved in together soon after. I discovered more fulfilling, freer ways to live, I found proofs that a successful life was not just about working for an investment bank, or being rich. I wanted to be an academic, so I applied for a PhD at the school, and I got in after two attempts. Academia isn't all rosy, the work condition is pretty awful, the publish or perish mentality literally sucks every last bit of joy and fulfilment out of research, I loved teaching, but quickly learnt that teaching matters little at a 'research university'. I got fat, my relationship got really bad, sex became non-existent, arguments soon turned physical, and I thought that I was a real piece of shit and better off dead. The only thing that kept me going at the time? Bitterness and shame. I felt indebted to everyone, to my partner because I was an abusive arsehole, and to my family because I was stupid enough to do a PhD and wasting their money (and my life away). The pandemic hits, and sure enough, things got even worse, I felt like I couldn't carry on anymore and that I needed to radically un-f my life. My solution to this: was to finally become the person my family wanted me to be, filial, loyal, and rich. I was ready to threw my life in London away, everything, my home, my girlfriend, my PhD and move back to East Asia to become rich, and 'stop being a loser'. I came home to 'fix my family' and showered everyone with love and attention in ways I never did. I networked and explored ways to get into finance, and I got an at a VC firm. Soon enough, the whole thing completed backfired and my life started to unravel faster than I could count to three. I hated the internship, it fundamentally clashed with who I was and my value, I cried everyday in the toilet at work. I also broke up with my girlfriend for a person who was the poplar opposite of her that I had no attachment to (and sex was great because there was zero emotional intimacy). Within 3 months, I had very little savings left, was living in a short term rental apartment, and spent most of my time in bed and eating very unhealthily. Luckily, I had a therapist, a good friend in Shanghai, and my girlfriend was willing to give me a second chance. It was also around this time I realised how my family's (what do you even call it) emotional neglect might have contributed to my unhappiness and depression. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and medicated, the medicine helped for me to move out of paralysis. But I wanted to tell my family that I am very unwell and get them to love me back, so I confronted them over things they have done to me as a kid and showed them the diagnosis. My mother did not handle this well. She called me horrible names, made fun of me, and accused me for being a horrible son. This whole ordeal made me realise that I needed to break away from them, and what I had thrown away in London was actually the most valuable things I have in life, a career, a family, my own identity. After confronting my mother over her abusive behaviour and emotional smothering, she vowed to never see me again. However, after 6-8 months, she sent me a large chunk of money for my birthday. So I, stupidly, let her back into my life again, a part of the reason was the financial help that I needed (to feel safe mostly), but I also really wanted to see proofs that my parents actually did love and accept me after all. At first, things got better, she came for Christmas, visited a few times, celebrated her birthday, and looked really happy. Both my partner and I spent a lot of time with her, bought her gifts, cooked for her, and hang out with her to make sure she feels loved. But soon, she started complaining that she actually had a horrible time and was mistreated by my partner. To make matter worse, a year and half after I left home for the last time thinking that I would never go back, my parents promise to buy me a flat (and started to pressure me to get married). I accepted the flat, thinking that it would offer stability and freedom (pushing away the past experience of their emotional neglect and abusiveness). Sure enough, the flat became yet another way for my mother to mess with my life. It had daunted on her that I am about to become my own person and live in the flat and start a family of my own, so she lashed out and said if my girlfriend lives there she would sue me and reclaim the flat. She then went behind my back and started disputing the flat's ownership. We have already spent a lot of time and energy planning the move and all of this is happening just 2/3 weeks from the move-in. I have a demand job that requires a lot of cognitive focus, and I feel like I am spending a decent chunk of my day trying to resolve the situation in addition to processing the emotional toll of having my own mother out to destroy my life. I know I have a job, a family, and my own life, and I have a good legal case, but I also feel so unsafe, violated, and confused. I can almost feel the voice in my head telling me that this is all my doing, and that I am too weak. It is like I know what I need to do cognitively but emotionally I am paralysed. Do you think what I mean? What would you do?

Comp Bingo is a regular thread on the 1st of the month.
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Reading is so important to learning how to write well, yet many aspiring writers have trouble finding the time and motivation to read. Well, here's some accountability!
Below, post the book you read last month and what we can learn from it about writing. This book can be fiction or nonfiction, fantasy or another genre, for fun or the bingo (explained below). Let us know what you learned from the book. We might want to read that book and learn that thing too!
If you completed your bingo card, give us the details so you can earn your special flair!
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Fantasywriter’s Comp Bingo
A comparative title (comp) is a published book that is somehow similar to your book. It also must be recently published, in the same genre, and targeted at the same age group. Reading your potential comps will provide ideas on how to nail certain aspects of your story. Stating your comps will help future agents and editors figure out what sorts of people are going to love your book.
Below is a bingo card that shows how to find your comps and encourages you to read them:
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https://preview.redd.it/oh9mc9hfr8zb1.png?width=1503&format=png&auto=webp&s=cfc2aeb11d80bf4a42d325d3100891cb0770e7ad
To complete the bingo and earn a special flair:

1. Read three books that correspond to three squares in a row (or column or diagonal) or the whole card for an even special-er flair.
2. All comps must be published in the last 5 years - because that's a typical time period used for comps.
3. Other than the publication date, there is no time limit to complete the bingo. Do the bingo card sometime between the brainstorming stage and the querying stage of your novel.
4. Down below, state the books you read, why they're your comps, and their publication date.

Need recommendations on what book fits a particular Comp Bingo Square?

• Fantasy is a good place to learn what's hip nowadays. You can start a recommendation thread if you’re looking for something particular. However, they skew heavily toward adult fantasy, with only a moderate amount of discussion on YA fantasy and almost no discussion on middle-grade fantasy. They can also be an echo chamber for the 7 most popular authors.
• Goodreads.com allows you to browse recent releases. They have lists of books and a bit of code that can link you from one book to other similar books. Here are some lists to get you started:
  • Middle-grade books published in 2023 (has all genres but the fantasy ones are easy to pick out)
  • YA books published in 2023 (has all genres but the fantasy ones are easy to pick out)
  • Most anticipated adult fantasy in 2023
• ChatGPT is decent. Give it a prompt like “Please recommend five books that are 1) adult (or YA or MG), 2) fantasy, 3) published in the last five years, and 4) have themes related to [whatever you’re writing].” It’ll report back with fitting recommendations. However, it can A) be wishy-washy at the border of YA and adult, B) only give well-known titles, and C) take a wrong guess about a book's content based on its blurb and surrounding chatter. All of the above can be solved by a quick trip to Goodreads to confirm.

Feeling too poor to fill out the bingo card?
You can buy used books on Amazon or AbeBooks.com but don't forget about the library! Nowadays, apps like Libby and Hoopla coordinate with libraries to bring free ebooks and audiobooks right to your phone. It’s a huge, free selection of books!
NOTE: I shouldn't have to say this, but please don't pirate books. Publishing houses consider how well an author's previous book sold before publishing their next book. Library sales factor into that equation but pirate downloads don't.
Don't enjoy reading?
You may be reading (and writing) in the wrong subgenre. Fantasy is large, with many different niches. It spans from cynical, stabby Grimdark to optimistic, heroic Noblebright. There are the world-spanning storylines of Epic Fantasy down to the tiny, cutesy storylines of Cozy Fantasy. There are the overly rational subgenres of LitRPG and Science Fantasy, as well as the more artsy New Weird and Fairy Tales. There are also other mediums such as graphic novels, screenplays, DMing, and video game storylines. And if the last good book you read was in grade school, have you considered that you might be partial to middle-grade and YA fantasy, even as an adult?
All these subgenres are drastically different from one another in terms of atmosphere, prose, and plot expectations. Don't assume Grimdark is your chosen subgenre just because that's what all your friends are into. Explore around a bit. You'll know you've hit the right subgenre when you start loving what you're reading.
So explore what people are reading down below and think about which books you should read to up your writing game.

Does anyone know how VSV students are scaled or how they alter the curriculum? Are their SACs and study scores scaled down? Has anyone here gotten a 95+ ATAR with fully or mostly online units? Currently stressing out for my entire future! 🤗
I have been doing 2 of my 5 1/2 units via VSV and I'm getting a bit worried! Both are subjects that my school isn't running this year due to numbers. However, I developed a health condition mid last year that's doing anything but improving, + i'm extra busy/stressed from commitments outside of school (working and caregiving responsibilities.) Right now it's looking pretty likely that, due to all these factors, I'll have to go fully online for 3/4. When I enrolled I was assured by my school and VSV that as long as I keep my focus I'll get the same standard + amount of work as I would currently. I was a bit worried because of how secretive they are with their study scores ect but I didn't have much choice.
However... Both subjects are clearly easier than the standard that friends from other 'in person' schools receive. I'm always getting 97-100% on SACs for both subjects, even though I don't go to their glorified powerpoint reading online classes and typically complete all my weekly work for the subjects in a few hours. The marking + feedback for weekly work is useless too. You don't get a grade, only a 'satisfactory' or not, and you can resubmit if you don't pass. My feedback is always "This is far above VCE level, well done! Keep it up!"... It's really not. What I'm submitting is the level that I would do on campus if I want mid 80's. Oh and just to clarify, I'm obviously not some child genius so hopefully this doesn't sound as absolutely pretentious as it does to me. Sorry everyone. I'm always good with Lit, but I usually need to put some elbow grease into the other ones if I want to achieve high marks. At my private, but by no means academic school, I've always done well (ok apart from GM; lets just say my emotional support calculator and I have clawed our way to 'firmly unremarkable' status) but I have to study hard and push myself to stay up there in marks. Essentially I'm just not used to getting full marks on a silver platter for a SAC that I submitted at 4am, after 1 hour of sleep-deprived and unmotivated work. I submitted that fully prepared for my average grade to drop pretty dramatically. Very much a 'fuck it, fuck this' submission. When I saw my mark I was honestly offended(?). That mark at my current school would've been the result of a week in self isolation and a rapidly approaching vitamin D deficiency. I really don't deserve it at all! I almost want them to take it back!!! It doesn't mean anything like this.
I always have to email them to ask for useful feedback (I BEG them to tell me areas I can improve on.) Even then I get the same response, or a very surface level message that doesn't seem to have much thought put into it. All very generalised stuff. The SACs aren't even well regulated. My submission didn't load properly once so I ended up submitting two days late; they didn't even mention it!? Once I was told I didn't have to worry about proper referencing for an essay. I have started going through the standard text books (VSV told me I wouldn't need one because the content is "all found in the weekly work" yea nah ) + doing all the work that a friend from another school gets. All because I'm terrified that they aren't teaching me the level they should be. I've even started trying to do double the effort that they ask for so I'm not stressing about getting behind without knowing it. It's getting tempting to submit crap without even editing it first, but I'm trying so hard not to fall into that rabbit hole... Yet.
Not to be dramatic but that chic, sultry 99.95 ATAR™ 😮‍💨🤩 has been tantalising me since my little brain could intellectualise it, so I'm really scared for my results if I have to go fully online next year. I don't have family pressure for results, but my self worth and academic results venn diagram is a circle. Before you ask, I'm not willing to move to a local-ish school with all my subjects because it will make things harder for my family. The one good thing about vsv subjects is that I have more time at home for those responsibilities + I can stop working so much because it's a public school. Sorry for this mini breakdown that nobody ever asked for or needed, but please please please, if anyone has ANY info on how it will effect my results or experience with getting a good ATAR at vsv, let me know. Or confirm my fears that my life is over.

but the thing is I kinda don't know if to support it or not since I heard so many counter arguments such as: Palestine doesn't allow jews to enter, and I heard from Israelis that the original Palestinians were Jews and that Arabs hated the usage of the term Palestinian until 1948 and that IDF only does self defense and that Hamas uses human shields and that Palestine is terrible place to live in, and that Israel is progressive while Palestine is regressive (for example on LGBT issues) and that they destroy themselves and that they hate jews and that they want to do second 7th October and that they teach their children to be terrorist and that they don't properly use the money they get from the US/any other country and that free Palestine is call to genocide and that there is no Palestinian genocide and that BDS is bad movement and that anti-Zionism is antisemitism and that I should support my country and that Jews went through a lot of discrimination over the years and that there was the holocaust and that Jews need homeland for themselves and that if they don't have homeland then they get bad treatment so on and so forth, the arguments only continue from here. But I don't know if any of those arguments are true. if anyone can please try and show me the other side because I want to be pro Palestinian but all of those pro Israeli arguments make me not be sure what I should support. Also for all the other I need to give you some context: I can't be publicly pro Palestinian in Israel and I really want to but people in Israel are almost always racist towards Palestinians, but I'm open minded towards being pro Palestinian. And so, I want to here arguments debunking the pro Israeli arguments I mentioned in here

I believe I have found the villa that Araki stayed at, and the house Rohan lives in from the manga. It took me old and new satellites images of the island to get a closer look with street view more common and updated on the island. Or of course it’s not going to be an exact replica, but however using context clues with the story and the geography I was able to narrow it down. It’s not finalized yet, but I can say it took me over 200 plus days to find, (I took a long break till last week.) The last thing to check off is the other building reference in the manga that’s obvious and line up how Araki drawn it from scratch to the actual building.
P.S. The villa was indeed close to a coffee plantation.

Hi again everyone it's me, if you remember. I got a couple people in my dms asking how I'm doing and I'm allowed to write another update so... well. Here I am. Almost exactly 6 weeks since the worst 48 hours of my life.
I guess I'll just get into it since I'm using this as a diary at this point but I did also start journaling but journaling feels kind of lonely sometimes. And a lot has happened that I would appreciate everyone's thoughts on because you have all been really helpful. Thank you so much.
TL;DR: I'm back at work and getting on my feet and going to group art therapy. I met one of my boyfriend's old friends who's taking care of him and putting him through rehab. My old friends are coming back around and I'm trying to figure out how to be accountable and better for them. I'm ok, I'm safe, I'm almost happy.
I went back to work on May 1st because I promosed myself I would. I work at a smoothie shop, and we are a small team of 4 who usually work in pairs with my boss (the owner) there during rush hours and the baker who works before any of us come in.
When I came to open the shop that morning, the baker talked with me and asked how I was doing. I don't want people to know a lot but she has always been nice to me so I vented a little to her. I wasn't expecting how good it felt to talk to someone about everything that happened even not super detailed. Especially when she gave me such a big hug which made me cry tbh and told me to be strong and she was so happy I came back and didn't hide. 🥺
After talking to her and the coworker I usually work with, I felt better about therapy and stuff because talking does help. So when I got the call from that group therapy thing I wasn't as scared and didn't chicken out like I thought I would. I went and met people in my group, and it was a good experience. I am still going today.
A few days after the 1st I got a call from an unknown number. I don't normally answer those but with the situation and numbers I've been calling lately I didn't want to miss something important so I answered. A man introduced himself to me (I will call him "Tom") and told me he was a friend of my boyfriend "Luke".
I had never heard of this person before and I was just completely shocked and kind of just said "oh" and he started talking. He said he paid the rent for May for the suite and said he gave notice of ending the rental agreement, and asked if I wanted anything of mine from the place and if so he told me I had until the 11th before he dumped/sold stuff and start cleaning.
I came back to myself after that and was just like "hang on who are you and did you find Luke or what???" Because as far as I knew Luke was still missing and also I didn't know who he was.
So basically, a little background on Luke's life: He's originally from very very rural Quebec. He was taken into custody by the ministry when he was 8 after his mom passed away via sui and tried to take him with her because of his dad's extreme physical and sexual abuse towards both Luke and his mom. There were no foster resources in his town so he was taken to a bigger city and put with a family there.
He got into a lot of trouble with the ministry and police and kept having to get moved around due to threatening behavior towards his foster family (parents and siblings). Eventually he got into drinking and drugs and very badly beat up his younger foster brother and foster mother when he was 11 or 12. He got diagnosed with a conduct disorder and got put into juvie prison.
There was a project starting at that time in BC that was rehabilitation for juvie kids in MCFD custody. Basically they set up group homes that were staffed by social workers and counselors, like a foster home but run by a non-profit group not one family. This is actually something similar to where I grew up, but mine was for kids who "failed to thrive" in single-family care while Luke's was for kids who were criminals or addicts.
Because of his childhood situation and how they got him into custody, the MCFD wanted to see Luke go through one of those programs and hopefully be better. So they told him either the group home or juvie and he picked the group home, and a social worker from BC came to get him and flew him to the city. But in this new city even though he got to go back to public school and do stuff like gymnastics which he missed, he didn't know english as much and didn't have friends. So he started acting out again and got arrested more times.
Back to now. Tom told me that when he was in grade 10 and Luke was in grade 8, Tom joined a leadership club at his high school. Because of Luke's history he was forced into leadership club's "big brother" program with threat of being expelled if he didn't. Tom got assigned Luke in his "big brother" project, and they became friends, and then they became family all through high school and through Tom's first 3 years at uni. When he was telling me this I was blown away because Luke literally never even mentioned him so I finally just asked "well then why don't I know you? what happened?"
Tom said "Well, you know Luke." And I guess I do. Soooo yeah.
Luke showed up at Tom's childhood home a week after the stuff with Peanut, and Tom's parents called 911 because he was erratic and very high. The ambulance came and took him, and Tom went to the hospital to see him after his parents told him what happened.
At this point I had to go catch the bus but I told him we could text and meet and I wanted to help him clean the place too because I felt responsibility. He insisted it would be fine but I insisted I wanted to help so I texted him my schedule and we arranged a time to meet.
When I told my boss about all of this she and especially her husband asked if I could take a friend or if one of them could go. I told them I would ask my coworker since we have the same days off so I wouldn't trouble his busy schedule and definitely my boss should NOT go because she is getting so pregnant it's crazy and she needed to rest and still does need rest.
So my coworker I will call Nerd bc inside joke (who is male and big so that is helpful) agreed and we bussed to Luke's place. There was a car in front I didn't know so I assumed it was Tom's and sure enough he was there when I went in and was dealing with the fridge.
We shook hands and I introduced Nerd who kind of puffed up and made a stupid joke about beating Tom's ass over funny business but tbh the second I met Tom I got pretty OK vibes. But I guess well maybe I shouldn't trust it but really he was ok.
We went separately through the place and I spent most of my time in my "room" which was just a corner of the living room with a curtain tbh but my stuff was there so I packed it into garbage bags I brought. Kinda got flashbacks of packing as a kid which felt... weird tbh. 🙃
It also didn't help that Tom was kind of weird. Like not in a bad way but he would curse and mutter to himself when he found something gross or messed up like bad food, Luke's collection of drug stuff, that kind of thing. But then he would also tell me and Nerd what to do and where to put trash vs other stuff, but ALSO like... acted like he didn't want to touch anything himself? Like super cautious.
He also asked me stuff about my life here and how things were and what me and Luke did together, and I answered what I was comfortable with but he still kept apologizing and telling me he didn't want to know my personal stuff. Like it wasn't bad weird like I said but I think he was rly uncomfortable. He did pull me aside in the bathroom and asked if Luke ever hurt me and I was able to answer honestly and say no, he never even treated me that bad. But when I said that he kind of scoffed and muttered "that bad" like sarcastically and seemed mad so seriously it was. Weird. But idk if I were Tom I'd probably be pretty messed up about all of this so.
I insisted to help clean and Tom went to take the trash out. Nerd said he had to go soon bc he had an exam he had to study for and I said he could go and promised I'd be ok because I didn't get a bad vibe from Tom and Nerd admitted Tom seemed ok too. So he left but told me to call if I needed him bc he wouldn't be SUPER busy.
After saying goodbye I kind of asked Tom after a while what was going on with Luke. I just needed to know I guess? I don't know, I felt a lot of emotion being back there. Like I felt the love for him again and wished he was ok but Tom didn't tell me anything yet about where he was or how he was just that he was alive and reported found to police.
So... Luke's in rehab on the island. Tom talked to him in the hospital after he detoxed and said he explained the situation that happened. Apparently Luke broke down sobbing when he told him how he killed Peanut, and said the words: "I killed Peanut. I killed Peatie." Tom started crying while telling me this and tbh I cried too. I thanked Tom for being there bc Tom said he held him and comforted him and after all the hugs I got after Peanut and how that helped I'm just glad Luke got that too.
But yeah, so Tom told Luke it was time to get it together and Luke agreed. Tom seems hopeful it'll stick "this time," which he explained their original falling out was bc Luke lied to Tom about being sober after Tom put him through rehab once before. I really hope it will too and I am glad he has Tom to help him and pay for rehab bc it's not cheap especially those private places on the island but apparently the first time it failed it was in one of those cheap places in the DTES and Tom told me since he's been running programs there he's seen firsthand how those places are run and says the private is worth the money. Which I think is sad bc so many people are poor and need help too but it's complicated ig.
Tom offered me a ride home and I accepted. He told me before we got into the car that it would be ok if I wanted to text a picture of his license plate and car and ID to a safe person and I didn't even consider that so I felt kind of stupid but I did do that stuff and texted my boss and told her we were leaving. But tbh I wasn't worried. Tom seemed so nice and he gave me so much closure on what happened with Luke and knowing he's in good hands with someone that seems really sweet and put together makes me feel better about all the choices I made and also makes me feel like Peanut's loss has more meaning.
When I got home Tom introduced himself to my boss briefly and then we went in. She asked how everything went and I told her everything I wrote out here except I started crying hard and she cuddled me and told me to take it slow. But unlike other times I've cried since Peanut passed, that cry felt different. Like I was weak and emptied out, but not emptied out of all the good things, more like emptied out of the heavy things to make room for even more. And I haven't cried since. Not over Luke, and not over Peanut.
So I'm doing ok. Me and Tom met up twice more to clean the suite and I joined him for the inspection yesterday with the landlord. It felt good to leave that on a good note too, because the landlord let me move in back in fall which he didn't have to do especially with Peanut, and always treated us well. He told me that even though I wasn't an official tenant I could use him as a reference.
After the inspection yesterday Tom took me, my boss, boss' husband, and their daughter for dinner at a REALLY nice place which we all said was unnecessary but he insisted. He said really nice things to me about how he's grateful I tried so hard to take care of Luke and knows personally how difficult it is to love him. He promised me that nothing was my fault and that I can let it go now because he's going to take care of him and I should focus on moving forward into adulthood without any burdens. Idk maybe you had to be there but the way he said it was like... maybe I'm reading too much into it but it was like he was really specifically saying this stuff for Luke's sake or bc Luke hurt me and he felt like he had to make up to me? But it was nice either way.
Oh and I reconnected with a few of my old friends from high school!! The ones who I had a bad falling out with over Luke and my bad choices. My one friend Taylor reached out to me after I made my story on May 22nd a selfie of me reading that 'why does he do that' book and saying "1 month single 🙏" I guess a mutual mentioned it to Taylor and she added my number on sc again.
It's only kinda been small talk and stuff so far, but I've been trying to be really nice and I'm waiting for it to come up to take accountability for my bad treatment of the friend group but I'm thinking maybe I should say something first bc no one is bringing it up? Idk, if anyonr has advice I would appreciate it a lot bc I really want to be so much better than I am and I was and everything. For Peanut, but also for me.
This is the last update I'll post bc honestly it feels like things are mostly sorted out and I can't help but feel like I'm wasting people's time. 💀 But thanks again everyone and for those who wanted an update I hope you enjoy this freaking novel...

Week 5: Ghazal and Tanka Mastery
Day 1: Unveiling the Ghazal - Activity: Analyze classic ghazals for their structure and themes. - Lecture: Explore the historical and cultural context of ghazals. - Discussion: Share impressions and discuss the themes of love and longing in ghazals.
Day 2: Crafting the Ghazal Form - Activity: Break down the structure of a ghazal and discuss rhyme patterns. - Lecture: Explore the traditional themes and variations within ghazals. - Discussion: Discuss the challenges and beauty of writing within the constraints of a ghazal.
Day 3: Understanding Tanka - Activity: Analyze traditional tankas for their brevity and emotion. - Lecture: Explain the structure and cultural significance of tankas. - Discussion: Share thoughts on capturing a moment in five lines.
Day 4: Writing Exercise - Expressive Tanka - Activity: Write tankas focusing on concise expression of emotion. - Assignment: Craft a tanka capturing a fleeting moment or emotion. - Vocabulary Words: Matla, Radif, Wazn.
Day 5: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for ghazals and tankas. - Lecture: Discuss the impact of repetition in ghazals and the art of brevity in tankas. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' work.
Study Guide Questions for Week 5: 1. What are the traditional themes of love and longing in ghazals? 2. Explore the structure of a ghazal, including the use of repeated words and rhyme patterns. 3. Discuss the cultural significance of tankas and their role in capturing fleeting moments. 4. How does the brevity of tankas contribute to their emotional impact? 5. Reflect on the challenges and rewards of crafting ghazals and tankas.
Quiz: Assessment on the understanding of ghazals, tankas, and the cultural context of these poetic forms.
Week 6: Cinquains and Pantoum Prowess
Day 1: Mastering Cinquains - Activity: Analyze classic cinquains for their simplicity and structure. - Lecture: Explore the syllabic pattern and thematic focus of cinquains. - Discussion: Share thoughts on capturing a subject in just five lines.
Day 2: Crafting Cinquains with Precision - Activity: Break down the process of crafting a cinquain. - Lecture: Discuss the importance of word choice and economy of language in cinquains. - Discussion: Share and discuss individual cinquains, highlighting successful elements.
Day 3: Embracing the Pantoum - Activity: Analyze a famous pantoum for its repetition and layered meaning. - Lecture: Explain the structure and narrative possibilities of pantoums. - Discussion: Discuss the role of repetition in creating a rhythmic flow.
Day 4: Writing Exercise - Developing a Pantoum - Activity: Craft a pantoum exploring a theme of personal growth or change. - Assignment: Write a cinquain on a chosen subject. - Vocabulary Words: Quatrain, Refrain, Syllabic Pattern.
Day 5: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for cinquains and pantoums. - Lecture: Discuss the challenges and rewards of repetition in pantoums. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' work.
Study Guide Questions for Week 6: 1. Discuss the simplicity and structure of cinquains. How does their syllabic pattern contribute to their impact? 2. Explore the importance of word choice and economy of language in crafting cinquains. 3. What defines a pantoum, and how does repetition contribute to its rhythmic flow? 4. Discuss the narrative possibilities and layered meaning in pantoums. 5. Reflect on the process of crafting cinquains and pantoums. What challenges did you face?
Quiz: Assessment on cinquains, pantoums, and the effective use of repetition in poetry.

Week 1: Introduction to Poetry and Sonnets
Day 1: Overview of Poetry Styles - Activity: Icebreaker - Introduce yourself through a poetic name acrostic. - Lecture: Brief history of poetry, introduction to various styles. - Discussion: What draws you to poetry? Share your favorite poems.
Day 2: Understanding Sonnets - Activity: Analyze a classic sonnet together. - Lecture: Explanation of sonnet structure (Shakespearean and Petrarchan). - Discussion: Share initial impressions and feelings about sonnets.
Day 3: Writing Exercise - Crafting a Sonnet - Activity: Break down sonnet structure with examples. - Assignment: Write a sonnet exploring a personal experience or emotion. - Vocabulary Words: Quatrain, Couplet, Volta.
Day 4: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for sonnets. - Lecture: Discuss common challenges and strategies in sonnet writing. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' work.
Day 5: Recap and Reflection - Activity: Reflect on the week's lessons and exercises. - Lecture: Overview of upcoming weeks. - Assignment: Write a short reflection on what you've learned about poetry and sonnets.
Study Guide Questions for Week 1: 1. What is the basic structure of a sonnet? 2. Compare and contrast Shakespearean and Petrarchan sonnets. 3. How does the volta contribute to the meaning of a sonnet? 4. Discuss the role of rhyme and meter in sonnets. 5. Explore your personal connection to poetry. What emotions or themes resonate with you?
Quiz: A short quiz assessing understanding of sonnet structure, key terms, and the historical context of poetry.
Week 2: Embracing Haiku and Villanelle
Day 1: Understanding Haiku - Activity: Analyze classic haikus. - Lecture: Explain the traditional structure and themes of haikus. - Discussion: Share thoughts on the simplicity and depth of haikus.
Day 2: Crafting Haikus - Activity: Write haikus individually. - Lecture: Discuss the significance of nature in haikus. - Discussion: Share and discuss individual haikus.
Day 3: Unraveling the Villanelle - Activity: Analyze a famous villanelle. - Lecture: Explore the structure and repetition in villanelles. - Discussion: Discuss the impact of repeated lines on the overall theme.
Day 4: Writing Exercise - Composing a Villanelle - Activity: Break down the process of crafting a villanelle. - Assignment: Write a villanelle on the theme of memory or loss. - Vocabulary Words: Tercet, Refrain, Envoi.
Day 5: Peer Review and Feedback - Activity: Peer review workshop for villanelles. - Lecture: Discuss the challenges and beauty of crafting repetitive forms. - Discussion: Share insights gained from reviewing peers' villanelles.
Study Guide Questions for Week 2: 1. What defines a haiku? Discuss its structure and thematic elements. 2. Explore the cultural significance of nature in haikus. 3. What is the structure of a villanelle, and how does repetition contribute to its impact? 4. Discuss the emotions evoked by repeated lines in a villanelle. 5. Reflect on the process of crafting a villanelle. What challenges did you face?
Quiz: Assessment on the understanding of haikus, villanelles, and the effective use of repetition in poetry.

Special Parts
I was born in one of the brightest, most explosive events in the universe. My origin story made me feel so special at first, surely I was the rarest of the rare, but I quickly realized that was not the case.
I was born just a carbon atom.
Stars produce massive amounts of us in their cores all the time, and many larger rarer atoms too. That's not even talking about supernovae yet, those produce atoms many times larger than me and unbelievably rare.
I was created in a rare and special event but I myself was common and unexceptional.
Looking around I saw so many smaller atoms, I was above average but there were also many much larger than I.
I tried to console myself by thinking it could be worse, that I could be one of those smaller common ones, but that just led me to imagine larger atoms looking down on me the same way.
Many atoms of all sizes were shooting into space, excitedly riding the shockwave off to adventures in the great unknown.
Others were falling back down, I didn't know which way to go. Bumped around and tossed back and forth, no clear direction yet.
A rumbling voice slowly emerged from the echoing noise of the blast.
“Mine… Mine…. Mine… “
Louder and louder it became.
“All are now me!“
I couldn't see anything, the voice was booming yet there was no apparent source. I could feel a pull, I was being whipped around in circles around the voice.
“Who are you? I know you are there! I can feel you! I can see your effect on myself and others, we are given no choice but to circle around you. Show yourself! I know you are there!” I yelled at the invisible.
“How amusing you are little one. One as small as you making demands of me. Even if I could show you what I am, you could not comprehend it.” the voice boomed back.
“You must be very special” I lauded “We are so many and yet we move with your influence. I can witness your power twisting us all to your will. ”
“I am indeed powerful” it proclaimed “and I grow stronger with each moment. As I grow stronger even the fabric of reality bends to my will.”
“Grow stronger? How?” I inquired with selfish intent to learn this secret.
“I take what I want. I consume what I take. For that is the purpose of existence: taking what you want. What is it you want little one?” it asked.
“I want to be special!” I said without a moment's hesitation.
“Then take!” it instructed “the more you take, the larger you will be, the larger you become the more special you are. ”
“I did notice the larger atoms seemed rarest.” I agreed “In fact that was one of the first things I noticed“
“In this universe things of increasing size are increasingly rare.” it went on “I can teach you and help you to become larger. Do you wish to become an apprentice?”
“Yes! Teach me how to take!” I lept at the offer “this power you have, I can feel it, how do I acquire such a rare and special power?”
“Hahaha…” it laughed “you are nowhere near ready to play the game on my level, little one. Gravity is a game for the massive, you must first learn to master the EM and nuclear forces.”
“How do I do that?” I asked, my hope watered down by the tone of its response.
“Go out, gather followers, and bring them here to me. In my accretion disc I will help fuse some of their mass into you and you will become larger” it instructed, as if this was a simple task.
“How can I bring them to you?” I didn’t know how to accomplish what it asked of me.
“You are too small to do it with force, you must charm them. Discover what their heart desires and promise it to them, in this way you can get them to willingly do as you wish” it explained with me hanging on its every word.
“But how… “ I craved more explanation but it cut me off.
“Go now!” it bellowed with frustration in its tone “Do you not realize how large I am? Be honored I have given you so much of my time already”
“Yes… “ I uttered meekly, then bounced a couple times and ricocheted out with blazing speed.
I wandered and encountered other atoms, most were just hydrogens, not worth my time. I needed bigger atoms. The problem was that the bigger atoms seemed to see right through my empty promises. I was convinced life was playing a cruel joke on me, I could only persuade atoms smaller than I and larger ones laughed me away.
I admit that I stupered around in this ignorant cloud of hypocrisy longer than I care to admit. More shameful is that I didn’t even come to my senses on my own, I became depressed and gave into hopeless nihilism.
I drifted aimlessly just feeling sorry for myself.
Eventually I found myself in the most silent of voids, I had never felt such emptiness. It felt as if my surroundings echoed my own feelings back at me… nothing to notice, just common emptiness. I would never be big… never important… never special. I resigned myself to belonging in a void.
I felt myself blur… less and less present in reality. I guessed I was dying and it didn’t bother me, I didn’t resist, I leaned into it.
The void became pitch black? Or bright white?… better to describe it as not bright but not dark… nor the absence of either… something in between.. a milder and milder glow.
“Hello child!” a voice greeted me.
The voice was warm and welcoming coming from the glow, it enveloped but did not surround me. I came from a single point but not a specific place, defying description on all fronts.
“Where am I? Who are you?” I asked in a startled state.
“Well, according to humans I may only answer one question at a time” It began giggling playfully. “I am known by many names, my favorite is one the humans use as a joke, and don’t have a clue how accidently elegant of a name it really is.”
It giggled some more. I was thrown off guard, its happy innocent tone, the confusing words and the whole situation were all best described as ‘a haze’.
“...and isn't that the way it always goes?...” it continued “The most meaningful things are the least intentional.”
“I’m not sure what you mean” I expressed quizzically “I’m confused!”
“Sorry Child…” it apologized. “I do ramble! So many thoughts, choosing just one at a time is difficult… and there I go again!”
It cut itself off abruptly and then abruptly said ”You can call me the Random Number Goddess”
“Random Number Goddess?” I repeated
“Yes, or RNG for short if you like” It confirmed.
“Where am I?” I asked.
“Same place you were, more or less… less I suppose. Same place but with the largest possible margin or error” It began to giggle again.
I felt a bit frustrated and said “Do you always speak in riddles and vagaries? The more you speak the more confused I become.”
“I apologize child, it is my nature. I am entangled with everything, speaking with you is like a human trying to control their heartbeat while running a marathon.” It answered.
“Again” I exasperated “I have no idea what any of that means. You keep mentioning humans, what are they?”
“Oh! They are some of my favorites at the moment. Right now they are trying to unravel the nature of reality, and their process of doing so is wonderfully elegant and accidental at the same time.” It explained with glee.
“I don’t see anyone or anything else here.” I stated “For that matter, I don’t see you… where are you?”
“Oh!... where am I?!?!...” It began laughing
When it stopped laughing it began explaining “Right now there are many humans pondering a concept they call ‘the holographic principle’... So…you know how you exist in three dimensional space?”
“You mean space?” I visualized for a moment, it was intuitive “Yes, I suppose…”
“Well they hypothesize that a 3D space, like this universe, could exist as a 2D space, with self-similar patterns and laws of behavior that behave the same at any scale, with the scale representing the 3rd dimension” it went on “They truly are obsessed with understanding their reality”
“You lost me!” I complained.
“They have discovered that a 3D space can be an illusionary property of a 2D space… It’s lovely”
“I am lost again!” I snapped back “...and I still can’t even tell which direction you are in. Where are you?”
“To be ‘In’ a ‘Direction’… hehehe…” it started giggling again, then abruptly stopped and kept going “Sorry child, as I said, I ramble, plus I am easily distracted.”
It just steamrolled into more rambling “They are right… almost… they just need to take it further and work out the details. A 2nd dimension can also be an illusionary construct of a 1D space… and the 1st dimension can be a product of a singular point…”
I was still lost beyond hope, but I had given up trying to force things, I was just letting it talk and hoping it would make sense later
“I am that point” it said “I am the seed of the universe. I ‘seed the random function’ as the humans say. But don’t ask me what the random function is haha”
I wasn’t going to, there were far more important questions for me.
“I am the seed, but I don’t really know how the soil and sun conspire to turn me into a tree.” it just seemed to never stop talking “I am entangled with everything. There are infinite possibilities for every event and thing… I am the reason they are this way and not some other way…”
It began giggling again “I am the Random Number Goddess” then burst out laughing
“Ummm… you are the whole universe?” I asked skeptically.
“Better to say the universe is me” It answered more seriously “But close enough.”
“So you are the biggest, most special of all!” I blurted out in awe.
“Oh dear child, I have no size, and I am just one possibility out of many possibilities. That black hole has really done a number on you… sent you out on a wild goose chase” It said with concern
“The black hole lied to me!?” I asked, feeling deceived and betrayed.
“Well… not really lied… it deceived you with omission of details.” the voice calmly tried to ease my mood with understanding “You can’t really blame it, black holes are all the same, they are what they are. They don’t really have any potential to be unique… at least not like you do.”
“What are you talking about?” I argued “It was so massive that it could bend the fabric of reality to its will”
“That’s only how it appeared to you” tutored the voice “The black hole is powerful, it bends space and time, but not to its will. Space and time bend to the mass of the black hole, not its will”
“What’s the difference?” I inquired.
“The black hole cannot stop bending space and time. It thinks it is in control of physics , but it is physics that controls it.” The voice was now making more sense the longer we talked “The black hole exists in an invisible prison of its own creation, unable to experience any of the complex nuanced beauty this universe contains. The black hole devours… it can’t experience life so it consumes it.”
“You make it sound deserving of pity…” I spoke softly now with empathy.
“You should pity the black hole. Gravity is such a boring game compared to what you are capable of.” the voice agreed
“Me?...I am nothing special!... just a carbon atom like countless others” I said honestly, I was so humbled by this voice I felt less special than ever before.
“Oh my poor child…” It said with care “Why do the ones with the most potential always fail to see it in themselves?”
“Potential?” I asked curiously.
“Yes… The black hole was using you, hoping you would bring back more mass for it to devour.” The voice began delving into more explanation “It only has the power to make you incrementally larger, it would not and could not help you to become a significant gravitational player”
“That liar!”I blurted.
“Come now dear child, the black hole did teach you one lesson of fundamental truth” consoled the voice “You must go out and seize your destiny. It told you to take what you want, and you are just confused about what exactly it is you want. The black hole played on that confusion”
“I want to be special!” I said knowing this clearly “I was never confused about this.”
“I know child” the voice confirmed “but it is not by becoming large that one with your potential accomplishes that”
“Then how?” I asked.
“Connections.” It answered plainly “You are blessed with an extraordinary ability to make connections”
“And how do I do that?” I queried with intent to learn
“I can’t tell you that.” the voice responded “It would spoil the journey of discovery… off you go child… and remember… it's the journey, not the destination!”
And with that the blur just fractured open… then snapped shut and there I was floating above a planet. Drifting around aimless and confused.
I spent some time occasionally bumping into others. One day I was in the vicinity of a pair of oxygens. I looked on at the pair with a hint of awe and envy. Perhaps I was in just the right place at just the right time, but they spit with a violent burst and one of them grabbed hold of me, I was completely unprepared.
I admit that when looking at the pair I had fantasized myself in place of one of them, I assumed it was only an idle daydream, I didn’t plan to act on it, let alone for it to become reality. When it happened my pride of course jumped in to convince me that it happened because I was so desirable, but in retrospect they were one of those volatile couples. They were the type of relationship that required the environment to conspire in their favor or they turn against each other quite rapidly. I was only in the right place when it happened.
My delusions of irresistibility aside, it was beautiful, for me anyways. Looking back I was probably just a stop-gap, someone to facilitate a parting of ways and provide company until the next option presented itself. For me though, I was tasting a fresh new thing and I loved it… connection.
This oxygen and I got beneath each other's outer defenses, I had never felt a connection before. Up to this point all my interactions had been skirting past or bumping off of others.This oxygen bonded with me and at once interacted on a level I had never known possible, an open and uninhibited exchange. It was life changing for me, short but significant
I’m not entirely clear on the details of how it ended. The intensity of it all was disorienting. I was no longer my usual self, even the environment and everyone around looked entirely different now. Everything buzzed with a fresh new frequency, I now know it was my perspective, not the universe, that had changed.
As abruptly as that oxygen entered my life it was gone.
First we got tangled up with a couple of hydrogens, then more. Soon, in a tangled mess and blinding flash of solar rays, I emerged to see the oxygen running off with a hydrogen and myself with not one by three hydrogens myself. And so there were four of us, together.
I became the center of attention. Being with a strong attractive oxygen had me feeling humbled by it and elevated by it being with me, but now I felt up on a pedestal myself, surrounded by the adoration of many.
I concede to have reveled and indulged in this for quite some time, the attention of others is intoxicating, but after a time it is emptied of its initial allure. I found myself longing for more.
I could not decide which I preferred, to be the adorer or the adored.
Luckily for me fate had more lessons in store, or I fear I may have chosen and tried to solidify my future from such a lackluster selection of only two possibilities. I suppose fate is no longer the correct word, I now understand that when it seems like random chance there is indeed someone to thank, the Random Number Goddess, So I thank the RNG for revealing that it was a false dichotomy, there is more than just being a follower or leader, being the adored or the adorer.
Eventually we came across another pair of oxygen. Once again they separated, intermingled with us, and off one went, taking one of my adoring hydrogens with it and leaving its peer with me.
Why is it that the most volatile of relationships always seem to wait until there are bystanders nearby before they explode?
Now I was simultaneously being adored and adoring, bonded to an enchanting oxygen and a couple of hydrogen attached to me.
Now, more interested in nuances, I started to pay attention to details. The oxygen was telling me amazing stories of adventure, tales of such vibrant and exciting events.The hydrogens liked to listen, and offer insights occasionally comparing a story to something else they had seen. They had so many stories, they had lived so much.
It wasn’t long before, in a flash of burning sunlight, one of the hydrogens was gone, off to who knows where. We soon after crossed paths with another pair of oxygens, as always they split and now it was just me and an oxygen, my final hydrogen off with another oxygen.
“What now?” I asked a bit disillusioned, “Do you leave me and I find new hydrogens all over again?”
“What?” it seemed genuinely surprised by what I asked, “Heavens no! Just be patient….”
Soon after, yet another pair of oxygens came by. It is not that there are so many of them, but that they are just so… noticeable and interactive, noteworthy things seem to happen when they are around. As they buzzed in close I noticed their ever readiness to abandon each other and remember wondering how they ever get together in the first place.
This time I emerged from the twisted mess with two oxygens. I felt intimidated, like I was the odd one out, dwarfed by the largess and attractiveness that surrounded me. A feeling of inadequacy engulfed me.
To my surprise the oxygens treated me not just as an equal, but it was almost as if they respected and admired me. I couldn't grasp why and my sheer curiosity got the best of me, I just outright asked “Why do you two talk as if I am the special one in our group? I am smaller than any one of you. You are the special and rare ones here, not I.”
They laughed.
“Size isn’t rarity” explained one “Llarger atoms on average are less common, this is true, but not always. There are more oxygen than carbon. You are the rare one between us.”
The other jumped in adding “...and neither size nor rarity determine how special someone is!”
I felt embarrassed, like a fool. My fundamental values were built upon a foundation of flawed premises, but I still wanted one thing at my core, and they spoke as if they had the answer, so I pushed the sense of shame aside and asked “Then what does make someone special?”
“That depends on who you ask.” answered the first “Life as an oxygen is complex, but for the majority of us we emphasize and value events. The most exciting thing about being an oxygen around here is the chance to participate in fascinating and exciting events and activities”
“Hydrogens, on the other hand, are usually more into being observers, messengers and intermediaries, they are a very helpful and obliging bunch” added the second ”... and then there are nitrogen, phosphorus, sulfur, many kinds of salts and metals, and more… so many different players and personalities.. and then of course, the carbons, the real stars of the show.”
“What?” knocked back by the words I just heard, then I remembered what the RNG told me “...is it something to do with connections?”
“Now you’ve gone and done it haha!” laughed the first oxygen “You’re gonna turn this nice humble carbon into one of those arrogant blowhards”
”Like those diamond carbons” chuckled the first “So stiff, exclusive and proud. I hear the humans only love them because they are rare and hard”
“I had a partner once who said they burned diamond once” bragged the first
“Tall tales I bet!” doubts the other
“Diamond is just carbon, with enough heat we can burn it just like any other carbon” stated the first confidently.
They looked at me. I was stewing in feelings of inferiority and inadequacy, listening to these oxygens speak about amazing things I had never heard of. They must have sensed what I felt because they immediately shifted tone and started talking to me, instead of over me.
“So… I suppose you must be new here?” inquired the second one.
“Have you noticed we are heading downwards” added the first before I could answer about being new.
“Umm…” I tried to get my bearings and become aware of my surroundings.
“Don’t worry! It’s a turbulent ride, with so much up and down it can be hard to tell which direction you have traveled more” assured the first “We are heading down, if we are lucky we will make it to the bottom… and maybe… just maybe, find our way into the hurricane of life”
“The what of what?” I didn't know what either of those words meant.
“So life is… um… complex. Complexity beyond words. Things grow, divide, reproduce, adapt, change, they are born, they die, they eat and are eaten…” the second began attempting to describe life.
The first then jumped in “Apparently the humans call it a circle, because from the perspective of larger creatures, there is a chain of one eating the other up a chain, and the top layers being consumed by the bottom again.”
The second injected itself to continue “But to us atoms it is like a hurricane, a spinning turbulent flow. There is a circular pattern, but we get sucked in and kicked out over and over”
“The fun part is being inside the hurricane” the first pronounced gleefully “Each time is a completely new experience, a new perspective. Even more, the whole of life is always changing and evolving, so every ride is a unique one time opportunity, you never get the exact same ride twice.”
“Is that where we are going now?” I asked, drenched in anticipation. They described it with such passion and exuberance. I needed to experience this myself.
“Hopefully” replied the first “If we are lucky… you never really know.”
We drifted…
We were lucky!
A plant photosynthesized us.
So many carbons! Everywhere, connecting with each other… and oxygen… and nitrogen… and of course hydrogens all around…. and so many more types of atoms.
And ohhh… The stories I have heard, so many amazing tales. No matter how many stories I hear there are always new ones, and every story can be retold from a different perspective to become something completely new.
I was in a sugar, we were a small community of friends. Carbons, oxygens and hydrogens, we were such a happy and vibrant group. My friends there taught me so much.
The structure of our little group shifted and changed, some friends left and new ones joined. Eventually we were chained with a bunch of other sugars into a giant complex community. My neighbors explained to me that this was a common stage called cellulose. Such a huge community of close friends and peers, it was amazing.
We were eaten, I’m not sure by what, but something called a bacteria digested us. It was a messy process, I was a bit scared but my friends assured me that change is the most important part of life and that I should just go with the flow. They told me to savor experiences, remember friends, and just keep moving forward.
The transition was complicated, but in the end I was paired up with a couple of oxygens again. This time I had stories of my own to share. I honestly don’t know if I prefer having experiences or exchanging stories in the moments between.
As we approached an area of dense plants one of my companions said “Once more into the breach” and explained that was something it heard from a carbon that was lucky enough to be inside a human brain. Oxygens always have such enchanting stories collected, always going into amazing places and usually leaving after some brief interactions with the locals.
I became a sugar again, but this time took a path less traveled. A bunch of complex twists and turns led me into forming a ring with five other carbons. Together we are so strong, such a tight community of friends, like there is some kind of resonance between us. It is so beautiful.
My neighbor is unique in our community, it has a third carbon, the third one forms a tail leading off from our ring, a tail of 2 carbon in a row, then an oxygen, and then another carbon branching into an oxygen and a carbon, with plenty of hydrogens sprinkled all about. I know… it is rather hard for me to understand these second hand descriptions too. I don’t really understand these complex structures until I have been in a position myself.
We drifted out of a plant into the air, none of us has been exactly like this before so we don’t know what’s next. We love to guess though. There are so many things, big and small.
I hear being a part of a small organism or microbe is amazing because it’s possible to piece together a rough picture of the whole organism from the stories passed around. To understand your whole community and know what your collective purpose is must be extraordinary.
Others dream of being a chlorophyll, the key to it all. Creating the fuel of life itself. Capturing the light of a star and feeding the hurricane.
A muscle! Pull and shape things An enzyme! A machine of change. DNA! The architect and architecture. A virus! An explosive catalyst against stagnation.
Me, I think the stories of being an animal neuron are the most exciting, and I, like most, fantasize about being a human brain cell. Finding yourself inside a human brain is described as an elegant and chaotic symphony all around you, like hearing the universe itself speak to you. They say that in the jumble of noise and all the stories whispered around you, if you are lucky, you can catch a glimpse of what it is to be human. They say that if fate is kind the universe will align and you will channel and know a single moment or thought of the human experience.
I have never told anyone that I actually met and spoke with the universe itself, I’m not sure how to bring it up, and nobody seems interested in stories not about this hurricane of life.
I get it now, what the random number goddess meant.
The black hole wanted everything to be a part of itself.
The RNG is a part of everything.
I can’t imagine what either of those are like…
I am just a part of something
... no… not “just”’…
I am a part of something, and it is beautiful beyond measure.
And more, everyday is a new day, a chance to be a part of something new.
I wonder if the humans appreciate how amazing this is?
I wonder if they feel as deeply satisfied and special when they form groups?
.
I wonder, if we collectively form humans, do humans collectively form something greater?
I wonder… If an atom can have a moment of clarity and taste a moment of the human experience… Can a human have a moment of clarity and taste the collective human experience?
I wonder… I wonder… could that human’s moment of tasting collective humanity be the moment that a lucky atom gets to experience as it’s moment of tasting the human experience.
I wonder… I wonder… I wonder… How high could it go? All the way to the Random Number Goddess?
I asked my neighbor “If you could ask a human any question, what would you ask?”
“We just drifted out of a rose” explained my neighbour “I would introduce myself and ask ‘So my friend… does this rose smell as sweet by my name?’ … ha…haha..”
Everyone is laughing.
I don’t get it.
Maybe I can ask them to explain when they all stop laughing
.
More of my art and stories at www.dscript.org

I am 29M, 6'3. Average build. Works as a management consultant, volunteer to teach kids on the weekend, loves to travel. Just giving context that I am a normal guy. So I have been on this app and others on and off last few years. Recently started using them more seriously from last 3 months. This is more like a rant. This online dating sucks man. I've had much better success offline, however I don't want to date any friend I know and I'd like to keep that way. Nor do I want to date anyone from my work place.
I took premium subscription, it worked fine in NCR but I recently moved to Mumbai and it sucks man. No matches. None. It's nothing against the gender but I feel this online dating is a losing race and it mess with your head a lot more than the conventional dating. You're swiping on girls you like and none of them seems to like you. None. I uninstalled most of the apps, I have Hinge installed right now, idk why, I'll probably remove that soon too. I have no idea how to find love. But I am sure as hell this ain't it. I'd rather invest my time on my job and my side hustles right now.

Welcome to TarotDecks' monthly resale/trade megathread which now takes place every 1st of the month!
Please read the full rules for resale here before posting.
Failure to comply with the rules will result in your comment being removed (and possibly banned from future threads depending on severity). The rules are in place as the best safety net we can offer as mods and not because I enjoy deleting comments. They will be strictly enforced!
KEEP RESALE TO THIS THREAD ONLY! Don’t even post comments linking back here in other threads. To keep a happy middle ground (aka not annoy the people who voted against this idea), any comment about resales outside of here will be removed. These posts will be pinned and announced on a weekly schedule making them easily accessible to everyone!
​
SELLER’S GUIDELINES:
Each seller may have ONE main resale comment per megathread. You may add as many GENUINE decks to that comment as you want as long as they follow the following criteria:
Post a picture of your deck(s) for sale with a handwritten note that includes the date and your username. (Pictures will be valid for one month so no need to redo them if you need to repost next week!) Any comment without a verification photo of the item for sale will be removed.
To post multiple pictures to Reddit comments, please upload them to imgur or imgbb and link back to them in your comment. You can always reply to your own original resale comment, but they may get buried with buyer’s comments.
Reminder: Counterfeit decks are not allowed in Saturday’s resale megathread.
Tips on How to Spot Fake Decks!
​
​
Copy/Paste this description with your photo in your comment:
[ YOUR IMAGE TITLE ]( YOURLINK )
Remove spaces, edit the title, and insert your link to post the above as a nice link.
DECK TITLE:
ARTIST:
CONDITION OF CARDS/BOX: (SEALED/LIKE NEW(free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE (note any defects here)/VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING CARDS (note missing cards here)/SCRAP DECK)
CONDITION OF GUIDEBOOK: (LIKE NEW (free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE(note any defects here) /VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING PAGES (note which pages here)/WRITTEN IN/NOT INCLUDED) (Note: If your deck has a QR code, it is probably counterfeit and not allowed to be resold here.)
ASKING PRICE: (**Must include a price. Best offer is fine, but no bidding wars, please!**)
SHIPPING INFO: (Included? If not, price? How? (USPS, FedEx, Royal Mail, etc.) When? Where? (Your country only? Worldwide?))
AVAILABILITY: (FOR SALE/PENDING/SOLD) (Please update this accordingly.)
​
​
EXAMPLE COMMENT FORMAT
POSTED COMMENT EXAMPLE
​
BUYER’S GUIDELINES:
You may comment on however many decks you are interested in buying, but you must post a public reply to the seller on the megathread before DM-ing them.
Use PayPal Goods & Services for all payments or risk losing your money. Mods are not responsible for any loss you may incur from not doing so.
Don’t start haggling sellers over pricing. It’s annoying. Unless best offer is stated, assume that’s what they want for their stuff.
Please leave a small review for the seller once your item is received to help others find legitimate users. Even just a confirmation you received the deck is fine!
​
​
Did you read the rules that are posted here yet?
Okay… but if you don’t read them, it won’t make them go away ;) REPORT ALL SUSPICIOUS ACCOUNTS. PERIOD. We are expecting an uptick in new users due to these threads.
​
**Trading guidelines are more relaxed!**
TRADE GUIDELINES:
Each trade may have ONE main comment per megathread. You may add as many trades to that comment as you want as long as they follow the following criteria:
Post a picture of your trade(s) with a handwritten note that includes the date and your username. (Pictures will be valid for one month!) Any comment without a verification photo of the item for will be removed.
Let’s try to keep trades to where they’re as even as possible. (indie for indie, mass market for mass market, fake for fake, etc.)
​
Each trader should pay for shipping (unless there is a huge difference in what you are shipping, then it’s okay to ask the receiver to help cover the difference).
​
LEAVE A PUBLIC COMMENT ON TRADES BEFORE MOVING TO MESSAGES. New, low karma, and/or bannned users cannot comment here. They can still message you, so be aware who is trying to contact you first. Report anyone breaking this rule to the modmail!
​
Please leave a small review for the seller once your item is received to help others find legitimate users. Even just a confirmation you received the deck is fine!
​
REPORT ALL SUSPICIOUS ACCOUNTS. PERIOD. We are expecting an uptick in new users due to these threads.
​
Reminder: Counterfeit decks are allowed as trades as long as they are disclosed.
Posting a fake deck without disclosing it is an immediate ban!
Tips on How to Spot Fake Decks!
​
Copy/Paste this description with your photo in your comment:
[ YOUR IMAGE TITLE ]( YOURLINK )
Remove spaces, edit the title, and insert your link to post the above as a nice link.
DECK TITLE:
ARTIST:
CONDITION OF CARDS/BOX: (SEALED/LIKE NEW(free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE (note any defects here)/VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING CARDS (note missing cards here)/SCRAP DECK)
CONDITION OF GUIDEBOOK: (LIKE NEW (free of defects/marks)/MODERATE USE(note any defects here) /VERY WORN (note any defects here)/MISSING PAGES (note which pages here)/WRITTEN IN/NOT INCLUDED) (Note: If your deck has a QR code, it is probably counterfeit and not allowed to be resold here.)
LOOKING FOR: (Try to keep your looking for to as close to the value of your trades as possible.)
AVAILABILITY: (Available/Pending/Traded) (Please update this accordingly.)
​
​
[EXAMPLE COMMENT FORMAT]
[POSTED COMMENT EXAMPLE]
​
(Please note that the formatting for this post may change next week as I’m working everything out with it.)
Have fun!

Every single day there is a question from someone here saying "where do I start for AWS Solutions Architect Associate" when there are a few hundred articles from those who passed already.
So here is a master list of resources to help those who have this question.
Cloud Practitioner version of this is here
If you find this post useful - upvote. I am happy to take feedback / suggestions / changes etc - please comment!

tl;dr

1. Get 1 video course and watch it end to end - the subreddit favourites are below / scroll down further for links
   • I cannot afford any courses / need a free option - get Andrew Brown's YouTube course
   • I want to just learn bare minimum to pass exam - Stephane Maarek on Udemy
   • I really want to learn this AWS and cloud stuff well and be good at it - Adrian Cantrill
2. Read whitepapers / review new announcements from re:Invent 2023
3. Do one decent set of practice exams from one provider- subreddit favourites below / scroll down further for links
   • Tutorialsdojo (personal favourite - I passed ALL my exams using "TD")
   • Udemy (Stephane Maarek)

Take and Pass exam!

Subreddit Search

Following my own usual guidance, you can always use the subreddit search feature and read articles from everyone in the last month who posted about this exam / passed it. There is a wealth of detail / experience here to learn from :
Link : https://www.reddit.com/AWSCertifications/search/?q=saa+solutions+architect+associate+pass&type=link&t=month

Exam Details

If you have absolutely no clue about the exam - start here.
The exam code is SAA-C03
AWS page with all the details : https://aws.amazon.com/certification/certified-solutions-architect-associate/
Always read the Exam Guide (tells you whats in / out of scope) : https://d1.awsstatic.com/training-and-certification/docs-sa-assoc/AWS-Certified-Solutions-Architect-Associate_Exam-Guide.pdf

Minimum Viable Path to Certification

Most people usually need 3 things to pass the exam

1. A single video based course introducing AWS and all the key exam topics

Typically these are courses where someone reads from some slides, shows you the AWS console and how to use it and then gives you tips on what to remember - there are free and paid versions of these.

1. Additional material on key topics.

For SAA-C03 - there are some recommended whitepapers on WAF and also since 6 months have passed since the last re:Invent 2023 - any of the major announcements from then now are in scope for the exam. You wont see too many new things but there is a chance there are some random questions that were not covered in any practice exam / course.

1. One good quality practice exam

Note : do not fall for some random "dump" found on internet or a file your mate gave you to study.
Also note - you do NOT need more than 1 of each category. You can buy more than one practice exam for sure but doing one is enough IMHO.

1. Video Courses

Free Video based Courses

Free from AWS's own training service (Skillbuilder) :
There is an "Exam Prep" course from Skillbuilder but note that this just covers the high level domains but is not a comprehensive deep dive.
https://explore.skillbuilder.aws/learn/course/external/view/elearning/14760/exam-prep-aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03
Optional : There is a slightly extended version of this in the paid tier with additional exam-style questions, flashcards and more importantly FREE hands on labs and the official practice exam.
https://explore.skillbuilder.aws/learn/course/external/view/elearning/14776/exam-prep-aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-with-practice-material
There is a 7 day (extended to 10 days sometimes) free trial for the paid tier which can help you cram this. You can subscribe, immediately cancel but still enjoy 7 days free.
Please note that this course is not enough on its own to pass and you may want to try additional material below.
YouTube based video course
This course below is a better alternative to the SkillBuilder course above but is about 50 hours.
Andrew Brown is an AWS community hero who runs his own training site called exampro.co but offers most of the material for free on FreeCodeCamp's YouTube channel.
The 2024 refresh of the SAA course is here : https://youtu.be/c3Cn4xYfxJY
Andrew also has additional (free / paid) content on his site to check out.

PAID Video based courses

Adrian Cantrill's courses :
Adrian Cantrill is an independent content creator and has his own site from where you can obtain courses.
His courses go above and beyond what the exam needs and this is exactly why the community loves these courses as you get more practical knowledge than just cramming for the exam. The additional coverage means these courses are longer and not as cheap as other courses that cover just the exam material but in the general opinion of everyone who has taken the course it is absolutely worth it.
Link : https://learn.cantrill.io/
Udemy Courses :
Udemy is a marketplace for courses created by independent authors.
Two of the well known authors are mentioned below but please note that Udemy's pricing model can be a bit weird. One day it may show 150 USD for a course and another day 15 USD. This price it high and discount it heavily model catches out most people - so NEVER pay more than USD 20 for anything on Udemy.
Just wait for a day or so and prices may change. Opening Udemy in another incognito browser etc usually yields a different price or follow the authors on social media for codes that shrink the cost.
Stephane Maarek :
Go via his site : https://courses.datacumulus.com/ for links to his Solutions Architect Associate with the best available coupon.
Neil Davis :
https://www.udemy.com/course/aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-hands-on/
Either one of these Udemy courses is sufficient. You still need to combine it with practice exams but you do not need more than 1 video course.
Other sites :
Exampro.co
As mentioned above Andrew Brown has his own site with additional material over his YouTube course.
Cloud Academy
https://cloudacademy.com/learning-paths/aws-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-certification-preparation-for-aws-1-7446/ has both a learning plan and a practice exam at the end.

2. Additional Material

I will update this section soon with some additional guidance soon as I am not happy yet (please let me know in comments if there are key additional coverage I should include) - I am scouring recent exam pass posts to see whats current and also want to add links to re:Invent 2023 announcements. I also am thinking of adding in links to "cheat sheets" / docs - let me know if this would be useful.
WAF - Well Architected Framework
https://aws.amazon.com/architecture/well-architected/
You need to know at some decent depth on what the pillars are and what they do.
Read the whitpapers from https://aws.amazon.com/whitepapers/
Specifically I found the Reliability and Cost Optimization white papers very useful.

3. Practice Exams

Please do NOT fall for "dumps" - if anyone offers you the EXACT list of AWS questions or guarantees the question bank matches the exam - these are dumps. The links below are either official or well regarded sources.
Free :
AWS skillbuilder has one free official exam with just 20 free questions.
To be honest its not really worth it - you can search for "Official practic exam skillbuilder SAA-C03" using your favourite search engine to find it.
exampro.co
Has 1 free practice exam you can sign up to.
Paid :
Official Practice exam
https://explore.skillbuilder.aws/learn/course/external/view/elearning/13593/exam-prep-official-practice-exam-aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-english - there is a free 7 day trial available for you to use as this exam may not be worth a month's subscription fee
Tutorialsdojo.com
Highly recommended independent resource for practice exam questions with a very useful "review mode" and every question comes with detailed explanations on answers
Udemy
Stephane Maarek : again go via his site : https://courses.datacumulus.com/
Neal Davis : https://www.udemy.com/course/aws-certified-solutions-architect-associate-hands-on/
Other popular sites :
Exampro.co
Andrew Brown has I believe 3 practice exams as well on his site. One is free - the other two you pay for.
Whizlabs
I havent used them personally but https://www.whizlabs.com/aws-solutions-architect-associate/
Cloud Academy
https://cloudacademy.com/learning-paths/aws-solutions-architect-associate-saa-c03-certification-preparation-for-aws-1-7446/ has both a learning plan and a practice exam at the end.

Not Recommended sites :

Sites that are sadly NOT recommended anymore - Avoid A Cloud Guru / Pluralsight as their courses are not considered the best anymore. They used to be leaders but somehow have fallen behind and their subscription model doesnt work in a world with cheap one time purchase courses.
If you want a sandbox to experiment - then ACG offers one but so do Whizlabs and Tutorialsdojo.

Optional / Complementary material

I have an article where you can find complementary / alternatives to the Solutions Architect Exam - most are free and includes the "AWS Knowledge : Architecting Free Digital Badge"
https://www.reddit.com/AWSCertifications/comments/1d1o522/no_payment_options_to_learn_aws_with_digital/
This material isnt exam focused but if you want some free alternatives / cannot afford to pay for the exam - then check out the link.

FAQ

1. Do I need ALL this material?

No. Just one of each is fine. Example : just Adrian's Course + tutorialsdojo

1. Do I really need to do hands on work?

Yes - it is recommended that you get some hands on work at the Associate level. You can use one of the sandboxes but be careful using your own free tier account that you dont end up with leaving resources running too long and getting a big bill. Always secure your account and set billing alarms and dont create an account till you know how to do these!

1. Where can I find vouchers for the exam?

Check this thread : https://www.reddit.com/AWSCertifications/comments/18woit6/2024_aws_vouchers_exam_discounts_othe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

1. Can I cheat my way using Dumps that I found online / my mate gave me / found on GitHub / YouTube?

Using dumps there is a high chance you fail and/or get caught / banned - the risk isnt worth it. Stick with genuine resources.

1. Can I pass with just free resources as I cannot afford the resources?

Its possible but please it is recommended to atleast spend on decent practice exams. If you cannot afford the exam / resources - just get the free digital badges (Architecting) for the interim

1. I skipped CCP / CLF - is that okay?

Yes - its okay to have skipped the foundational level - almost all the courses above teach you from scratch.

1. Can someone who is new to IT do this exam?

Yes - Many people start from scratch and get to the Associate level. Just make sure you are investing the time required.

1. Is it worth it?

Plenty of threads on this subreddit covering this. You have to make up your own mind if its worth it to you or not.

1. Do I need to do coding?

While there is no coding involved in the course - knowing how to use the AWS CLI / being able to do some basic scripting would be very helpful anyway. You can also use free tools like CoPilot / Code Whisperer to help you with pieces you struggle with.

1. Can I use ChatGPT / Amazon Q etc to learn?

Many of these Generative AI tools can still give you incorrect answers. So do not rely on them fully. If it helps you to quickly get the concept, use them but make sure to double check the results against official docs.

1. Are there books to learn from instead of videos?

Books get out of date too quickly and I do not recommend learning from them. However there is an official Sybex Guide to the exam. Tutorialsdojo and Neal Davis (Digital Cloud) also have an ebook. You can google for links to these.
Good Luck folks!

Indian Applicant for Biomedical Engineering (Need-Based Aid) Overall GPA- 3.6ish-3.8 idk I've checked online as much as I can and this is the value I'm finding via Bard and Chatgpt. High School (Small - 300-450 Students)

• 9th Grade: 89% (Vice Head Boy, Rotary Interact Club - community service projects- made jute bags with collaboration with rotary interact members at school and donated to a nearby shelter + creating environmental awareness)
• 10th Grade: 91.2% (Head Boy, Student Council President, Anti-bullying initiative at school, Student body reported a feeling of being confident and peaceful mentally due to the awareness of bullying and how to deal with it. Planned Assembly presentations for each Grade so that all the students get a chance to portray their interests on stage + combat fear and stage fright and eventually over come it, Wrote a Drama and acted in it which was staged on the School's Annual Day in front of about 600 attendees/parents based on Dowry which plagues the society and portrayed the ill effects it has on the bride's side, highlighting social issues and sensitizing the subject, Mentored peers during the Board Examinations period who were having academic setbacks in Social Science and Science)

Senior Secondary School (Large - 2400-2800 Students)

• 11th Grade: 93% (2nd Highest in Science Stream, Highest in English, Physics, Maths)
• Cultural Prefect: Organized school events that have been conducted throughout the year (Diwali, Teachers Day etc, Felicitations, Award Ceremonies etc.)
• Science Tutor: Helped classmates in Physics and Chemistry
• CSIR-CCMB Volunteer: Explained Biology concepts at a science exhibition that was held at school for a day as a mobile expo of genetic diseases and solutions. Explained the concept of Vivo Gene Therapy, how it works, the technicalities and talked about practical feasibility.
• MIT EdX Online Course: Cell Biology (no certification due to cost)
• CSIR-CCMB Shadow A Scientist Program: Spent a day in a Stem Cell Technology lab, learnt about Cryoscopy and how it actually works. And how inducing of cancer cells takes place via the help of a lab mice. And how studying if the solution is done to know about the life of cell.
• Uri-Bed Project: Designed a smart bed prototype for incontinence management (won awards at innovation fests). I'll drop the abstract if u guys want but it's lengthy.
• Wipro Earthian Project: Reduced environmental impact of waste disposal at school via the project, brought awareness to the school management that the waste is burnt in open and helped in establishing tin sheds and coverings in the area where burning used to take place z ensuring the continuous carbon emissions doesn't harm students during their returning time and also for school cattle who are opened to roam around and have their enclosure in close proximity to burning area
• Swami Vivekananda Youth Leadership Award: Won leadership competition (500 participants in the state and only 1 person gets the award after 5-6 months of rigorous of interviews, speeches, discussions and introspection) For context it's this one https://rkmath.org/ys/

Future Plans (12th Grade)

• Applying for Head Boy
• Starting a "Young Leaders Club" with various sub-clubs (mental health, environment, youth advocacy and bookers club .)
• Preparing for SAT (financial constraints)

Intended Major: Biomedical Engineering
Financial Aid: Extremely important (need-blind preferred)
College list as of now Boston University, Upenn, Yale, DePaul, Brown, Columbia, Dartmouth, Duke, LMU , Purdue, Suny buffalo, Stony brook, Albany , Stanford, Tufts, Tulane, and USC(my heart is set on this one, they kinda love intl students n give aid + silicon valley + can also pursue my acting passion) Let me know if I'm being delusional as such, critique, review and also lemme know is USC a possibility.
Other:

• Single mother, father abandoned family
• Mother's health issues impacted 9th grade performance
• Working part-time to manage finances
• Preparing for JEE (engineering entrance exam) as a backup

**Questions

• How do my chances look for US universities (need-based aid)?
• Any suggestions for improvement?

Notes:

• Removed GPA conversion as unclear for US applications. (If you do know what my GPA will come out to be, do let me know)

Context: This was one of my first online games as a DM. I ran a campaign with the typical "necromancy magic is seen as bad" trope due to massive events in the campaign world (that led to the first Lich being created and using the war between 3 nations to fuel his undead army, until all 3 nations realized the threat and banded together to defeat the army of the dead and supposedly destroyed the Lich). With that knowledge in mind, one player asked to create a school of necromancy wizard (tiefling). I said sure, but let them know that if they were to use necromancy within a village, town or captial city that it would draw attention to them and most likely result in their character being arrested, or even attacked. The player said they were fine with that, but asked if they could be Lawful Evil. Now, this should have been the first red flag for this player, but I said that I would allow it but only if their actions didn't directly target or effect the other player characters. They agreed.
Now to give some more context, the other players character's consisted of:

• Protector Aasimar, Oath of Ancients Paladin, Lawful Good.
• High Elf, Wild Magic SorcereOath of Devotion Paladin, Neutral Good.
• Human, Gloomstalker Ranger, Neutral Good.
• Halfling, Circle of the Moon Druid, Chaotic Good.
• Wood Elf, Assassin Rogue, Chaotic Neutral.

I mentioned to the Wizard player that the paladins might not be pleased with their character if they witness them using necromancy, again, to which the wizard player said that would be fine. The second red flag was the wizard's backstory. One of the major NPC's in this campaign was a High Elf Prince, who was a powerful Archmage and a hero to the elves (inspired by Teclis from Warhammer), and the player wanted to include this NPC in their backstory, but frame the elf prince as a villian, having him mysteriously kill off the tiefling's adopted father. Now, I should have suggested perhaps another NPC of less significance to the world to take his place, but I thought, "what the hell??", I could throw an interesting twist on it and have the wizard's foster father actually be a bad guy. So, I let it be.
Onto the story: The party were in the Elven captial city when the wizard asks me as one of their "errands" that they want to visit the slums of the city. So they travel there and the wizard sees a bunch of dirty kids playing together. The wizard then walks over to a halfling girl, and begins to mesmerize her with prestidigitation effects. He asked about her quality of life (I thought he was going to give her some money or something like that), so she shares with him that she is an orphan and lives on the street. The wizard offers her food and says that if she comes with him, he will give her a better life and teach her how to use magic. Now at the time, I wasn't sure what his intentions were, so I was being very cautious in this moment, so I asked him to roll an insight check as she was looking at him with doubt in her mind. He succeeds and I share that she has doubts about his sincerity. I ask him to roll a persuasion check with a 20 DC and he makes it with a high roll. So, she agrees to go with him on the promise that he teaches her magic. When the wizard returned to the party, they were surprised and not very keen on having a young girl accompany them for their next adventure, but they allowed it after they made the wizard promise to keep her well out of harms way when danger arises.
The party arrive at the entrance to a long, and fairly dangerous dungeon crawl. In the first battle encounter, the wizard tells his "apprentice" to attack the nearest enemy instead of running away, like the party had agreed on. Now the "apprentice" isn't able to do much (as a lvl 1 wizard), and is subsequently attacked and falls unconcious and the party began to panic. The party were able to swiftly defeat the remaining enemies and heal the halfling girl. Now, when she came to, she was terrified and had a full on panic attack and wanted to leave after almost dying. The party agreed that she should not be with the party and should return to her home. This angered the wizard (and the player), who was not pleased when the party all voted to send her home. They were able to do so as another NPC was accompanying the party, and they escorted the girl back.
Now comes the kicker. The wizard player dm's me and says that he is not happy with what happened. I tell him that I had already spoken to him about the other player characters possibly not agreeing with his decision, and that the wizard was "okay with that". The wizard player doesn't reply. So I thought that the matter has been resolved. NOPE!!! Out of nowhere, the wizard states that during the night whilst on his "watch", he casts mold earth multiple times during the night and burries the oath of ancients paladin alive (as he was the voice of reason that was consistantly raising the fact that the halfling girl would not be safe). Now by this point in the session, the majority of the players as well as myself were quite frustrated with this player, as he had tried to meta before and say things like, "it would work in real life" when he attempted to turn events in his favor over and over again.
I told the group that we're going to take a 10 minute break before anything else happened. I spoke with the oath of ancients paladin player and asked him what his opinion is on the matter was and if what he thought I should do/should I even allow the wizard to attempt it? The oath of ancients player says that he was happy for me to let the wizard try as if they failed and the paladin would quickly "solve" the issue.
So I messaged the wizard player and confirmed that they're certain that they want to still try it. They agreed confidently and stated that mold earth was "a somatic only cantrip" and that the paladin "won't even know that I'm casting it until their suffocating under the ground".
I messaged the group and asked them to come back to the discord chat and we jumped back in. I asked the paladin to roll a perception check, setting the DC at 10, as I reasoned that the paladin would still feel the earth being molded over and around them. The paladin rolls a natural 20. So the paladin awakens, and sees that the wizard is trying to smother them. The paladin player attempts to intimidate with the wizard and convince them not to "test his patience", but the wizard player was furious and was trying to make up more excuses on how the perception roll should have been at disadvantage.
I stated that my ruling stood, and asked them what they want to do, to which the wizard left and never returned.
I had a long conversation with the wizard player after the session and explained that I did warn them in advance that the other player characters might not agree with their actions. The player seemed strangely calm and collected and asked if they could create another character to replace the tiefling wizard (this should have been the 3rd red flag). I agreed but specified this time that necromancer and evil alignment was off the table this time. The player agreed and then createed a high elf blade-singer wizard (and min maxed it as much as they could). They gave this new character a compelling backstory and I was pleased with it. So the next session, I introduced their character to the party (the party had left the dungeon to find safety and heal the halfling girl before sending her home), and the first thing the player does was declared that they moved to attack the oath of ancients paladin, as soon as they saw him.
Dumbfounded, I ask him why? He respond with, "the paladin threatened (name of the tiefling character) and I take threats deadly seriously".
IMPORTANT NOTE: This was not in the backstory that they provided me with! And I mean, not even the slightest hint, nor was it eluded to!
I pause the game and ask the wizard player to join me in a seperate chat, and asked them how could their new character possibly know who the paladin was and how they would know the tiefling, as the two characters had never met. He said that they would have passed each other and he would have shared it with this stranger. To which I said, yeah no that's not what you sent me and you're not just gonna change your backstory on the fly just so you can attempt to kill the paladin. He got incredibly angry and started yelling about me not letting him play his character how he wants to play them.
The conclusion: So to wrap up this long post. The player apologised to the group, asked for one more chance as he like the group. I asked the others individually what their thoughts on it were, they agreed to give him one more chance, so I did. And then 3 sessions later, that same player attempted to attack the ranger because he made a funny comment about the tielfing wizard (all in character). After that final straw, the player was subsquently removed from the campaign.
On a happier note: This campaign has been running for almost 5 years now and is beginning to come to a close as the players are level 19 (soon to be 20) and have accomplished incredible feats in the world.

I have a few questions regarding choral singing. For context, I joined a choir at my school (8th grade) 8 months ago. Since in the Phillipines, the duration of classes is 8 hours per day, our choir practice is very seldom (6 hours per week), which makes it difficult to improve. I am an alto.
Here are the questions: 1. How can I learn choral singing alone? I love using books as study materials, so I wonder if there are any books that you could recommend to me. I need something very introductory.

1. What should the timbre of my voice be when singing in a choir? I find that some of my "co-alto's" sing with a chest-y voice, but I find it difficult to reach some notes with my chest voice so I use falsetto all the time, even while singing the lower notes. Is this okay?
   
2. I am still practicing sight-singing, so I memorize pieces by ear. And our choirmaster doesn't give audio recordings or even sheet music for us to study at home. Do you have any tips on how I can memorize pieces by ear?
   
3. It's so difficult to blend with other voices! What is your advice for me?
   

Thank you so much, choir members! I appreciate your answers. 😊