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Hello! This is my Ficnapping of Curing Malpractice by u/Cummy_wummys, which can be found Here!
Writing my own take on their novel about Novel was quite the novel experience. Hope you enjoy!
Also I'm going to collapse into bed the second I upload this, so apologies if I don't respond to any comments for several hours.
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Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Eager Kolshian Scientist
Date {standardized human time}: October 20th, 2136

Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed up that late into my rest claw. Sometimes I just can’t help it, I get so absorbed in one little avenue of research that the claw begins to slip past. I check the time a while later and, what do you know, the heat death of the universe is drawing just that little bit closer. Was it a bad idea to waste so much time learning about the history of Human clothing? Probably. Was it ever so slightly traumatizing, especially the earlier history? You bet it was. Will I probably do something similar in the near future? Absolutely.
I won’t let my moderately sleep-deprived state stand in the way though, for I have been invited to partake in a Human tradition this paw. It is an honour, one that I must take seriously, and approach with reverence. It is a sign that the Humans have come to trust me, welcoming me into their herd. Of course, I already had my own herd with Ada, Sindre and Hailey, and I’d had pleasant interactions with others such as Bella and Max, but I mean the Humans as a whole! To be fair, it’s probably been apparent that the Humans have been warming up to me for some time… if their insistence of suffocating me with photos of their children was anything to go by.
I shiver at the thought. Never again.
I push that train of thought aside as I approach the security checkpoint to the refugee centre, finding Ledo in his usual place. The Jaur security guard is half slumped over in his chair, absentmindedly scrolling through something on his holopad. I give him a friendly sway of my tail as I approach the checkpoint, and he barely seems to muster up the energy to turn an ear my way.
“Good paw, Ledo. Are you alright?”
He places his holopad down and rubs one of his eyes with a paw.
“Just running on empty over here. My break paws can’t come fast enough.”
I sign my sympathy as I grab my visitor’s badge.
“You’re doing a great job, top notch security officer, really. You’ve earned your rest, and then some.”
He covers his mouth with a paw as he yawns.
“Thanks… enjoy the whole predator watching thing, or whatever it is you do in that place.”
“Thank you! Enjoy your shift… as much as you can.”
With a slightly awkward chuckle, I waste no time in heading into the refugee centre. Just to be safe though… I push open the doors and quickly dash to the side, expecting something to come flying at me like what usually happens. This time though, my precautions seem unnecessary. The lobby is empty, devoid of the children and adults that typically mingle around in it at this time. As I take a few tentative, confused steps inside as the doors close behind me, I realize the reason why. Ada said that the activity I’d been invited to partake in took place outside, in the small courtyard I’d heard mentioned here and there around the centre. Everyone must simply already be outside. Following that notion, I pick up my pace as I walk through the hallways, finding the back door that leads to the courtyard soon enough.
My presumption had been right, as when I go outside I’m greeted with the sound of Human laughter, specifically the moderately pitched squeals and giggles of Human children. The courtyard wasn’t all that large, but by no means cramped, with many children and adult Humans alike enjoying the fresh Venlilian air. Scanning the area, I quickly locate Ada, who is currently engaged in quite an odd-looking activity with Sindre. They are standing on opposite sides of what appears to be a bedsheet suspended between two poles, ties at its four corners so that it's stretched almost flat. They are both holding objects that seem vaguely familiar to me, and which I soon recognize as ‘rackets’, which I’d come across before when researching Human activities on the internet.
“Sindre! Ada!”
They turn to look at me as I rush over to them, faces soon breaking out into wide smiles. Sindre walks towards the bed sheet, bending over to pick up a small yellow ball laying in the grass, while Ada walks over to meet me.
“Heya Nov’, glad you decided to join us today.”
“Well, I couldn’t deny an invitation to be involved in a Human tradition!”
She smirks at my response.
“Tradition? Yeah sure, guess tennis counts as one.”
Information acquired: A name for this event.
“Tennis… It sounds fascinating!”
By now, Sindre has walked over to join us. He lightly taps the racket and yellow ball together, which upon closer inspection seems to be strangely fuzz, with a white line running around it in a wavy pattern.
“You made it just as we were about to start another rally. I’m not the best at tennis, so it’d probably be best for Ada to show you the ropes.”
As he says this, Sindre offers the racket out to me. My eyes go wide and my tail flicks with excitement at the gesture, and I securely wrap two of my tentacles around the handle, making sure that it won’t slip from my grip.
“Ooooo! What do I do with this?”
Ada steps away, back towards the suspended bed sheet.
“You go stand where Sindre just was, I’ll walk you through it. Oh, and don’t mind the bed sheet. We don’t exactly have a proper net.”
I rush over to stand in the spot assigned to me, while Ada mirrors my position on her side of the bed sheet. Sindre tosses the yellow ball her way, and to my surprise she easily catches it with one hand. Well, that was certainly a lucky catch, and an accurate throw from Sindre. Before I can dwell on it though, Ada calls out again.
“Lets just start with the basics. In tennis, you use the rackets to hit the ball when it comes to your side of the court, er- bed sheet. You want to hit it so that it flies over the net and lands on my side, where I’ll try and hit it back to you, repeating until one of us either misses the ball or hits it into the net. If that happens, your opponent gets a point.”
I try and emulate the Human ‘nodding’ expression while listening to Ada. That sounds like an interesting activity… there is just one problem.
“Um, alright. How exactly are we supposed to hit the ball?”
“Just make sure to angle the racket so that the ball shoots back to my side, alright? Since you’re new to this, I’ll go easy on you and just start simple.”
That… didn’t really answer my question. I’m unsure how I’m expected to reliably position my racket to make contact with the yellow ball. Even so, I won’t question the Human. I’ve been invited to partake in this ‘tennis’, so I will accept the opportunity with gusto. Ada shifts her stance slightly, before lightly tossing the ball into the air. As it comes back down, she lifts the racket to meet it, and the ball is sent up and forwards. Alright, here goes nothing.
I lift the racket up into the air and rush towards the bed sheet. As the ball sails over the makeshift barrier, it hits the plastic edge of my racket and falls back down onto Ada’s side. I hear a snicker coming from Sindre, and I lower the racket again as Ada retrieves the ball, my tail wagging.
“Did I do that right?”
Before Ada can respond, Sindre buts in.
“If it worked against Ada, it must be a viable strategy.”
The German briefly glared at him before clearing her throat.
“Well Nov’, running at the net with your racket above your head isn’t going to work in a proper game. You need to figure out where the ball is heading, move there, and then hit it with the racket with the right amount power at the right angle to send it back.”
Oh, sure, might I extinguish the sun while I’m at it? Cure every disease along the way? Of course, I don’t voice these thoughts out loud. Instead, I simply give Ada another nod. She repeats her previous ritual of tossing the ball up into the air before bringing the racket up to meet it. This time, the ball doesn’t come straight on, but veers off to the right. I take a couple hurried steps that way and hold out the racket in the hopes that I judged the ball’s movement correctly. To no one’s surprise, I did not, and the ball thuds into the grass.
“No worries Nov’, let’s try again.”
After I haphazardly throw the ball back to her (and she effortlessly catches it with one hand), Ada hits the ball my way again. This time, the ball veered slightly to the left. A mirror of what happened last time, the ball misses my racket by a considerable margin. In my periphery, I vaguely register Sindre wearing a face of mild concern, though my focus is too homed in on not letting my frustration show to dwell on it. I’m making a fool of myself in front of the Humans.
“Sorry, I’ll hit it next time.”
The next time comes, and I unfortunately can’t stay true to my word. A similar thing happens again and again. Sometimes I just try to shove the racket below where I think the ball will go, other times I try waving it around madly in the hopes that it’ll make contact. It never does.
“One more time! I swear I’ll get it!”
They invited me to take part in this. The least I can do is not be a complete failure. Ada stops tossing to me, concern etched into her features.
“Are you alright Nov’? We don’t have to do this if you can’t-”
“No no, I can. It’s just- I’m a novice. You can’t expect me to just know how to calculate projectile motion in my head… I just need practice.”
Ada’s face morphs into one of confusion.
“Projectile motion… Novel, it’s not that complicated.”
I gawk at the Human incredulously. Before I can formulate a response though, a sigh coming from my left draws my attention back to Sindre. He’s rubbing his forehead with his hand, and sighs in realization.
“Eye placement. Depth perception.”
Ada’s eyes go wide at that, and a hand comes up to cover her mouth.
“Oh crap… Sorry Nov’, I didn’t really uh- consider that…”
I look back over to her, my brain still trying to piece together what Sindre meant. I recall how easily the Humans tossed and caught the ball with stunning accuracy, and how Ada seemed to be able have complete control over the ball with her racket while I struggled to even make contact…
Depth perception…
That… makes sense.
I can’t help but gurgle a little in laughter. So predatory eyes were useful for things outside of hunting… like tennis! I need to jot that down, and make sure to investigate that a little more later on.
“Hey Novel, you ok there?”
I’m snapped out of my thoughts by Sindre’s voice. I give him a friendly tail wag and walk over to him.
“Of course, I’m fine. I’m sorry that I’m incapable of taking part in this.”
I offer the racket back to him, which he takes with a little hesitation when he sees the mucus covering the handle. Ada walks over to the two of us, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment.
“Sorry for all that Novel, we should’ve chosen something else to show you.”
I quickly turn to her and wave my tentacles in a placating manor.
“No, don’t be sorry! I’m honored that you wished to share the wonders of tennis with me. You two go ahead and enjoy it, I’ll just sit off to the side and make notes on the uses of binocular vision outside of hunting.”
I feel myself deflate slightly. I had been excited to play a part in a Human tradition, but it seems that I just… can’t. Not on my own volition, at least. Perhaps the Humans can sense my disappointment, because Sindre and Ada share a glance before the former speaks up.
“Nov’, you don’t have to-”
I interrupt him by wrapping a tenacle around both their backs and lightly nudging them towards their respective sides of the bed sheet.
“I insist! Don’t worry about me, I’m a graceful loser.”

Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Sore Loser
Date {standardized human time}: October 21st, 2136

The Venlil I pass on the street are giving me odd looks, all the while I hold my head up high with pride as many of them turn around to do a second take of what I am wheeling behind me. It may be a teensy, tiny bit more complicated than some of the other things I’d previously brought with me to the shelter, but that was only because I had put my tentacles to good use. The splinters I had gotten in the process were testament to that. Should I have focused on getting a little more sleep during my rest claw? Maybe. Is this thing being held together by nothing but hope and super glue? Only the very best. Would the absolute joy that it’ll put on the Humans’ faces be worth it? You bet it will be!
As I wheel my creation past the security checkpoint, I find Ledo staring at his holopad with his head resting on his paws, eyelids drooping. When he spots me approaching, his ears perk up slightly, only for him to raise his head upon seeing my creation. He puts down his holopad and sits up in his chair, trying to get a better view of it.
“Hello Ledo! How are you? Have you gotten some rest?”
For a moment he doesn't respond, only for him to shake his head and rub his eyes.
“Novel, do I even want to know what that thing is?”
“It’s what will allow me to stand on par with the Humans and engage with them on an even playing field. I spent some of my last rest claw building it.”
Ledo looks back over to me.
“And uh, how much is ‘some’, exactly?”
I wave a tentacle dismissively.
“Irrelevant detail. Trust me, it’ll all be worth it. When I leave the shelter later this paw, I’ll tell you all about it.”
Ledo leans back in his chair with a sigh.
“Well, at least it’d be something other than binging movies. You’re a bit of a weirdo, have I told you that yet?”
“Why thank you! Have a nice shift.”
I bid farewell to the Jaur and my final approach to my destiny begins. Victory is so close I can almost taste it.
The lobby is empty again this paw, so I head right on through while towing my creation behind me. I pass a couple Humans along the way, who I give friendly greetings to as they marvel at my ingenious solution to the problem that had plagued me last paw. Since I’ve arrived a little later this paw (courtesy of a productive rest claw), I waste to time in heading directly to the back of the centre and out onto the grassy courtyard that had been the location of last paw’s utter failure. I will not allow that to happen again!
“Ah, welcome to the courtyard Nov-… Uh, what’s that you got behind you?”
Max’s friendly tone gives way to curiosity, and I feel the pride already beginning to swell just a little more. He was just in the middle of a round of the dreaded ‘tennis’ with Ada, who is on the opposite side of the makeshift net, which she leans over once she spots me.
“Novel… why do you have a catapult?”
It seems that my wonderful creation is also garnering interest from many of the children as well, who briefly stop their various running games to watch me. I finish wheeling the mini catapult into place and take out a tennis ball from my bag (turns out I had already purchased one, thanks past me!) while I finally answer Ada.
“So that I may properly partake in your Human traditions, of course! How can I study them if I can’t even participate? This little thing will allow me to successfully serve a ball to you in just a moment, no depth perception required! Watch and see.”
I place the tennis ball into the cup and begin cranking the lever to wind up the device. Max starts looking a little nervous as I do so.
“Um, Nov’? Are you sure that thing is going to work? Is it even safe?”
The homemade gears turn with a slight clacking sound, which tells me that it’s working just as expected… though Max does make me wonder briefly if I should’ve done a test run of this first… oh well, too late for that.
“Don’t worry, I know precisely what I’m do-”
I’m cut off by the rather disconcerting sound of splintering wood. I only have enough time to faintly register that the sound came from my creation, and that said realization is very bad. A resounding SNAP and the disappearance of the tennis ball at approximately Mach 5 tells me that I did not know the tensile strength of Venlilian wood as well as I thought. The rest of the world has gone silent, and I slowly turn my gaze in the direction the ball had preemptively flown, finding Max standing as still as a statue with the tennis ball resting on the ground in front of him. The silence is broken as the Human lets out a whining sound higher pitched than even the smallest of Dossur can produce, before falling to his knees and grasping his groin in obvious agony.
Some of the slightly older kids cringe in sympathy.
Ada tries not to laugh.
Max steadily raises his hand, pointing a shaky digit at me. His voice comes out squeaky, and pained.
“K-kids… avenge me…”
The children’s eyes lock onto me. I learn what true fear feels like.
All at once, the children let out their war cries, and began rushing over to me. I let out a shriek of my own as I turn back towards the refugee centre and start running like my life depends on it because it probably does! I don’t dare look back at the pack of predators pursuing me, I simply run through the back doors of the centre and sprint down the corridor as fast as I physically can. Even so, I know for a fact that it is not fast enough. I’ve studied Humans enough to know that they are built for chasing prey. Right now, that prey is me!
I try to lose the children by utilizing the building’s layout as best I can. I turn past several corners without slowing down, run up the stairs and even hide behind a pot plant at one point, startling an adult Human as I do so, who quickly rushes back inside their room. I make a mental note to apologize to them later, and file it right under ‘RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! GO GO GO!’
I hear it, the sound of light but determined footsteps plonking their way up the stairs. They’ve found me. This pot plant isn’t going to help me at all! I abandon my frankly pathetic hiding spot and dash further down the hallway, determining that my best shot at survival will be to get back to the main lobby and run out through the front do-
A dead end.
No…
Oh no…
The sound of footsteps grows closer. Just a single pair, but that is more than enough to seal my fate. I push myself against the wall, terror coursing through my mind. This was supposed to be a showcase of how much I respected Humans, I didn’t mean to injure one! Is this really it? Is this really how it all ends? Sought out and killed to avenge the fallen? I-I never got to publish my completed study on Human traditions… or binocular vision… or diets or facial express- a whole lot of things actually!
The footsteps pause, and the sound of giggling breaks me out of my mental spiral. There, standing before me, grinning ear to ear, is a familiar Human child.
“Found you!”
“D-David?”
Still grinning, the young boy reaches out a hand towards me. I push myself as far against the wall as I can go.
“W-wait, David! I-I-I thought we got along well! We watched that horrible movie together, remember? We can read that book about cattle again if you want! Or-or anything you want, really! P-please, don’t d-do this!”
I close my eyes tightly, and prepare myself for the end…
…
A hand lightly taps one of my tentacles, then retracts.
“Tag! You’re it.”
I crack open an eye.
“Wh-what?”
David is already running away from me, giggling again. As he reaches the stairs, he calls out as loud as he can, voice carrying further into the refugee centre.
“Guys! I got her! Novel’s it now!”
…
…
What?

Im sorry to the redditors that see this post alot but i just need some advice to try and calm me down. I (27M) had previously posted here about my 5-10 second oral experience, where it was that only and i finished myself. After, i drove back home and washed myself. 4 days went by and nothing. Then one morning i woke up and was just heavily thinking about the “what ifs” yk.
Once i started thinking that, thats when i started the shakes, the stomach aches, typical anxiety stuff. Then came the faint sensations on my penis. Once THAT happend it was full blown panic. I mean paying super close attention to how i feel when i pee, checking for discharge ( id almost pinch the tip to check if anything is there every few hours or in the mornings) or put TP in my briefs to see if im discharging.
I think it’s anxiety because when im actively doing something (work/playing sports) or laying down for bed its no bother. But soon as i have nothing to distract me, its all i think about. Its day 7 since the encounter and still no discharge, itching, or burning. I dont understand why i cant shake it 🙃 i have an appointment Monday to be sure but idk im going crazy rn

Today, i saw one of the young people I used to be a support worker for. Those young people had severe BPD and severe trauma. They shared their secrets with me. I tried to help.
I actually ended up leaving that job rather abruptly, because the manager was one of the worst I’ve ever encountered in my life. She constantly belittled her employees in emails, saying we ‘didn’t care for the young people at all’ because we hadn’t cleaned an 8 bedroom house in one day. Constantly tell us we weren’t doing enough despite giving us 800 tasks to do, telling us how we responded to YP’s self-harm incidents wrong.
She told me i ‘had body odour’ after i had done a sleep (2pm shift, to sleep, wake up at 7, immediately start shift again), which is a complaint I’ve never had again in my life. If there was an employee fall out, somehow she’d know, isolate you in a room and ask you about it. My co-worker told me she was dragged into a meeting and called bitchy for asking fairly simple questions. I was told I’d be ‘knocked out’ (not verbatim) because I’d walked out crying after the body odour talk and hadn’t answered ‘have a good weekend’, told it would be a disciplinary note on my file.
Then, there were some sketchy things going on. The young people told me the manager had told them they couldn’t tell us support workers things. I was in such a bad place already, because of various inflicted consequences from a terrible manager, that I forgot boundaries and asked further. Not smart.
I was taken into a conversation with the manager; where i was told off. I then had a BPD meltdown and told the manager i was going to kill myself. I think she knew then, exactly what i was. Another young person. I couldn’t regulate at all, and as a consequence, couldn’t say goodbye to the young people.
It’s my biggest regret, that I couldn’t say goodbye myself. I know I could never explain to them why I was leaving, because I couldn’t bad mouth the person in charge of caring for them. I’d already done that and got in trouble. The micromanager had to be kept a secret from the young people. I wrote them letters, saying I left because of ‘health issues’. Not entirely not true .
But I could see, today, in their eyes, they don’t forgive me. They’re hurt. They think I just abandoned them. It hurts. I have so many complicated feelings right now. Wishing I could explain to them what happened, how that place is behind closed doors, but I can’t. I can’t take away the safety of the place they’re recovering, and I know that. I just wish I could apologise.
They walked away as soon as they recognised me. I suppose it’s just something I’ll never get closure on, because to do that would be disrespecting boundaries, and frankly, be kind of weird.

I bawled my eyes out the whole day, because everyone seems l´to leave me in the end. I don´t really have family, so i love my friends very deeply and maybe more intense than other people. Yesterday I realized that my take on friendship is different than other peoples´. I was out with a friend and we got drunk after a concert, then we ended up at a bar and there was a super creepy guy harassing both of us and then it turned to SA. My friend and me were both rlly drunk and couldn´t function well, I layed down on a bench after and she was with me but when I looked up she was gone. People from the bar told me she went home and that I should also take an Uber home. Her jacket, her purse, her keys, everything was still there tho so she clearly didn´t go home. The creepy guy was also not in the bar anymore (so they both weren´t there). I started crying and looking for her everywhere and didn´t know what to do, i felt extremely hopeless so I called some of my uni friends but nobody picked up.
The next day I get a message from one of them telling me that they´re really annoyed by the fact that I called them (she wrote a huge pragraph and wrote in the name of like 5 people at once lol idek if they feel the same way because they didn´t text me personally or talk to me. they didn´t pick up my call nor did they text me afterwards or talk to me in uni). She basically said that they´re really annoyed/ upset and don´t want to be drained by me all the time. I told her that I considered her a close friend and I personally would WANT my friends to text me when they feel they´re in danger. I feel like my definition of friendship is different and it makes me very sad to know that in the end of the day i can rely on NO ONE. In a situation where far worse things could´ve happened to react in that way towards "a friend" is triggering me so much and spirals me into such bad episodes and I can´t stop crying about it lol I´m sorry
What´s your opinion on it? Do you also often get told that ur too much or feel that way

Since my young beginnings as a gamer, I’ve been one who tends to beat the main storyline then swiftly move on. I wouldn’t normally seek to finish the side content unless I absolutely LOVED the game. As an adult, I’ve ended up treating gaming much the same way, I love beating games but not so much searching every nook and cranny for all of the content. When RA introduced the “Beaten” section, I was overjoyed as I finally had a more definitive way to keep track of my modest gaming accomplishments. After finishing up a game (by my own definition), I usually scour the comments on RetroAchievements and, over time, have noticed something. At risk of stating the obvious; basically all of the comments are from people who have “Mastered” the game. Often, these sour me a little, because as much as I’ve just finished playing what I thought was a great game, the comments always seem very negative. What do these commenters have in common? Most have been worn down by having to complete the game multiple times, the repetitive grind of certain achievements etc, the comments tend to be summaries of how frustrating the achievements are and less so regarding the quality of the game. This got me thinking, if a game is raised in conversation with friends, everyone tends to gravitate towards talking about the games most important details, the characters, mechanics, the main storyline, much less so the side content or end game content. I completely understand, RetroAchievements was started as a place for people looking for a new challenge, for people who can beat these games with their eyes closed. Over time, I think it has evolved to become more casual friendly while still maintaining that hardcore feel. This leads me to my main point. I would love if we were able to normalise talking about the actual games content more so in the comment section, rather than it always feeling like a place to air grievances regarding achievements. At our core, most of us are here because we love video games. Sometimes as I browse RetroAchivements comment sections, it’s easy to forget that.
TLDR: I wish the comments sections for games on RetroAchivements had more discussion about the actual game rather than it mostly seeming like a place to complain about frustrations which arise from earning achievements.

My partner left me with our two young children after grooming me for years. How do I heal?
I am 26f and my ex partner is 69m.
That’s hard to type out and admit to the situation I’ve found myself in. This has been my biggest secret for years.
I met my partner at 19. I worked as a waitress at the barestaurant he owns. I had a lot of fun I was cute and I loved being around customers. My personality was sarcastic and charming. A lot of people became my friends there. He watched me a lot and he gave me uneasy vibes. I kept it to myself he was a known creep. I didn’t think much of it until I had turned 21 (still working as a waitress) and he started becoming inappropriate with me. He would touch me around corners and spaces where I couldn’t push him away or it would be obvious to others what he was doing. For some reason I didn’t want to get him caught. He stayed in a dark room next to the bathrooms when I went to go pee one drink night after work I was drinking with my coworkers. He held my wrists led me into the dark side of the room and forcibly made me make out with him. That was the beginning.
I didn’t have much family and what I did have was an addict mother and a distant dad. I didn’t have a good example or even anyone to talk to about this. He poured sweet words into my head and professed his love and honestly it felt nice. He had found out I was a virgin after our first encounter. I was too scared to tell him I didn’t want to look like a child. He treated me like a hookup. Once he found out I was a virgin and he was my first he had become obsessive with me.
I found out he was married and had children older than me. He gave me the same story any married man would give you and me being so struck by him I dealt with it. I know I’m wrong. I will be punished in life for what I’ve done emotionally to this other woman. I’m not a victim.
He convinced me to have his child. He was having sex with me unprotected and professed how badly he wanted another chance at fatherhood. He was so busy with his first children he felt he missed out. His parents moved from his hometown in Greece to help him and his wife raise the children. I gave in. I was 23 and wanted a child. I knew he could support that child comfortably. I was very naive.
I was induced and had a quiet lonely labor without him present. I moved in with my mother and raised my daughter quietly mostly on my own. (My pregnancy was kept secret until I gave birth) I loved her so much. My whole life felt changed. It was hard to cope having him pop in and out but I tried to believe his love and made it work. Anytime I asked him for more time he got angry and told me I was asking too much. He was becoming insecure and more controlling. He secretly put trackers on my car. Had my phones location and checked my phone regularly.
I broke it off because I resented my loneliness so much. I became close with a guy my age. He was compassionate, loved my daughter, and enjoyed being my friend. My ex partner discovered my relationship by having microphones and trackers on my car and diaper bag
I was trying to coparent with my partner but he makes it very difficult trying to bring me back to him. Eventually he convinced me to come back to him move out of my home and try to be a family. I give in and try my best to make this work. He is more insecure calling me insults. A whore for being with another man and that I have ruined everything he will never love me the same. He eventually calms down and we get into a little routine with very high ups and very low lows.
Fast forward I accidentally become pregnant with our second child. I was distraught. I didn’t know how I would handle two children on my own with little help. My pregnancy put me in the hospital a dozen times from extreme sickness which looking back was extreme anxiety. I wanted to terminate but I couldn’t afford it and he wouldn’t allow me to. He confessed the affair to his wife and he moved in fully with me. She threatened me and tried to confront me but I was very pregnant and sick I couldn’t handle it. He reassured me he was with me because the kids needed him. He promised he would never leave. I tried to be secure and be excited for our second child. We found out she was another girl. I was happier than I’d been in years.
A few days before I had our daughter his oldest child died in a tragic accident. I tried to wait and hold off going into labor before the funeral. I had my child the morning of his viewing.
Midnight I went into labor he had stumbled home after drinking and grieving. He tried to force sexual acts on me but I had to explain I was in labor. He yelled at me on the way to the hospital for being in so much pain I threw up in his car. He was so different. I chalked it up to his child dying I needed to let him go through it atleast he was here this time.
I had a very hard labor our daughter got stuck but she came three hours later. He seemed disassociated the whole birth. He left an hour after I had her to go home sleep and get ready for the viewing later. He patted my shoulder and said good job. I bit my lip and tried to be positive. My mother brought me home two days later
I learned to breastfeed and give my toddler attention. I never asked him to help me I was on my own again and I was determined to do it on my own. He was in between my house and his ex wives to help . They were both grieving I tried to be understanding but I was alone except for at night. I started resenting him and fighting more than ever before. He started going away on fishing trips more and more. He only came home for sex. I kept the house clean and tried to keep him happy with sex even if my body wasn’t ready. He was getting frustrated and pushing me away. He couldn’t accept my postpartum and said him being financially responsible was enough. I asked too much and I wasn’t happy all I did was bitch at him I was unappreciative I was a whore. Eventually nothings could be said. Maybe I’m wrong for bitching all the time I couldn’t stop I just wanted to pull him in and be there for him while he was grieving
I had a lot of suspicions. He started hating me. He insulted me and put me down sex started to hurt. He was different. I became different and angry when before I would pretend to be happy
It all ended a few days ago. He called on his way back from a fishing trip. He said we were done I pushed him away I caused this. After a lot of me begging for an explanation he finally told me he’s going back to his wife they need to support each other in their grief. He says I played a huge role in this and his child dying was karma for what we did. He packed all of his things and I came home to an empty house. I’m gutted and devastated.
Our last conversation he wants me to live in our current home that he owns and he will make a lease agreement I have to sign. I will not be doing that. I will be moving with my family an hour and a half away and filing emergency custody. I will let him have some time as well. One of the terms in his lease is that I have to agree to never have another man around our kids. I will never sign and let him control me again
How do I heal and coparent with this man that hurt me all these years.

A homeless teenager reaches out to the Shil’vati on first day of the invasion of Earth.
Credit to: who has beta read just about every chapter, and the only reason it's readable half the time
u/bluefishcake for writing the original SSB story.
Pizzaulostin who has been beta reading since the beginning.
Credit to u/HollowShel for getting me started with this!
This story is based in the SSB universe.
Previous
First
Chapter 33:

Reqellia:

It was the darkest part of the night, and yet I could hear the energetic commotion of Ruhal blearily heating up food for a famished human along with the clinks of dishes and silverware.
“One more day.” I felt glued to the bench as I stared back into the silver mask I hadn’t worn for almost [twenty-five years] prior, and had hoped never to put on again. I cursed my old girlish wishes when I first joined up, wanting to be a war hero, and then a mother afterwards. To grow old and see my own child in uniform. I had even wanted a son since I was already demanding the impossible.
I never believed in the gods, but now I’m sure that I’ve tempted Niosa to grant my wishes, but only after I made my peace with them that they would never come true.
Klein bounced around the suite’s kitchen, eating enough for two Shil women and already wearing his armor’s underlayment. The chair creaked a bit as he sat, his own horror-show mask on the dining table next to him staring back at him unblinking.
And It was a horror show.
He’d wake up cheerful and happy, and I’d watch over the day as every bit of his energy was drained out of him. The daily exercise routine of a morning run and gym day in a month being performed in a few short hours. Every time Klein finished a trail faster, or performed a more grueling task, the trainers would make him do even more as his contract offers rose another level.
I didn’t blame the instructors, it was their job to challenge each applicant, but Klein blew through all their expectations, so they just kept piling more onto him. Many of those same instructors had asked me if they were pushing him too far, but all I could do was shrug. Even I didn't even know where his potential ended.
I blinked and looked up. He was in his full armor now, with only the mask off.
“Ready to go?”
I nodded and stood up, quickly heading over to Ruhal, who in turn looked at me with sleep deprived eyes. Worn out as I was, he was worse, playing subject matter expert on all things human around a bunch of high ranking officers desperate for information not tainted by censorship.
“Stay safe out there,” he politely ordered as he kissed me.
I kissed him back and held his hand. “You too.”
Sighing,I left to let him rest, popped my back, and donned my own mask.
As Klein paced the door, I begged for safety. “One more day, please let everything be okay after today.”
I shouldn’t have tempted Niosa again.

Itaro:

I quietly padded out of the children’s den to a chorus of snoring from my siblings. The well carpeted securely fastened to wooden floors muffled my footsteps. I opened the large storm shutters and then pulled open the sliding glass door to the patio. I couldn’t sleep anymore, excitedly bouncing from one foot to another.
Klein and Reqellia were coming home tonight! Reqellia had sent me her contract offers that came from a dozen different Imperial departments and bureaus. Dad already agreed years ago she could move in with us, a pack sister was always welcome. Now she wouldn’t feel like a burden if she had to.
And Klein… Well, I wouldn’t be bothered by a few love-marks.
“I see that smile. Excited?” I heard my father’s deep voice like distant thunder. I turned around to his massive form only a few steps away. We both had learned to walk silently when my siblings were just pups and the discovery that they were light sleepers had been made.
I felt my ears droop just a little to see his melancholic face. He had gone out of his way the last few weeks to spend more time with just me now that I had a pack of my own. There was always a soft smile on his face, but the way his tail hung low to the floor was a dead giveaway on his mood.
I tried to cheer him up. “I am. It’s been weeks since I got to speak to Au’tes, and Klein…” I trailed off, the insinuation clear. He smirked. He had met Klein in passing, but I wasn’t bringing him home yet. Hario on the other hand had made one or two bawdy jokes at the dinner table after a second glass of her favorite liquor.
First time Klein spends the night, you might want to check up on Itaro, make sure she didn’t keel over from exhaustion.
“At this rate I’m going to have to teach you sword fighting to beat back other male suitors from poaching you for their own packs!” My father joked. Stepping off the patio landing, he hit the ground noiselessly, bending his legs to absorb the shock.

After letting out a quiet grunt indicative of an age he tried to keep hidden, he turned around and looked back up at me. “Want to come with me for a walk?”
I jumped down and followed him into our little patch of forest my mother’s terraforming job paid for. The early morning was already warm without a cooling vest, but not intolerable. The chirping of birds and the soft whistle of wind tinged with just a hint of salt made everything feel fresh.
It was like when I came home from school and my father would stop construction for the day. We’d explore the forest, play on the beach, go into town for groceries.
Except now my father didn’t run and have me chase him. He carefully inspected the trees for pests, and our conversation was far more practical than whimsical. “Your mother’s coming home next month. Can you write her a message before she meets Klein, just so she has a better idea of your pack?”
I nodded. “Of course. How long is she going to be home this time?”.
Her terraforming jobs always lasted months, if not years. I never faulted her for the huntress life, but it made connecting with her difficult. She was more a guest of honor than a mother to the household, always bringing a fatted Sou’ta carcass home as a present, but rarely cleaned dishes, or the house.
Or really any chore…
He shrugged before crouching next to a felled tree, trimming away small branches for kindling with a tiny hatchet he hand pulled from his tool pouch. “Might be a good long while this time. The last message I got said her department only had small projects and a few hazard jobs on the periphery. Besides, we might need an extra set of hands more than the money now.”
I scoffed. “Her, a house mother!? No offense, but mom is a terrible cook, and a worse caretaker. Remember the time she nearly burned down our kitchen boiling water?”
He laughed with me as he pocketed the hatchet. Standing up with two sticks, and then threw me one. I caught it as he swung his own stick in my general area. “Defend yourself! I did say I needed to teach you sword fighting. How else are you going to fight off possessive men when they realize what a catch you are?”
He didn’t teach anything but how to rough house on a lazy Shel morning.
We played and swung the flimsy branches until I accidentally hit him square in the chest. The branch, already crumbly and dry, disintegrated on impact. It didn’t stop him from dramatically acting out a death scene. Falling to his knees in an overly theatrical fashion. “Oh, woe is me! Cut down by my own daughter in cold blood!”
I let him pretend to be on stage for a few moments longer before standing over him to offer a hand. He took it, and then yanked me down to the grassy patch, holding me for a long, quiet minute. “I’m going to miss you.”
For the first time I noticed the stray white hairs around his muzzle, I knew what he meant, but I tried to play it off. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He just held me for a silent heartbeat longer, then let go and stood up.
He proclaimed cheerfully to mask his wet eyes. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up. You can’t look like a pup out of a mud bath for your victorious pack! I even scheduled a visit at Tulo’s for a haircut. Ruhal’s treat.”
My mind played with potential futures as we headed home. Between the three of us, we could write our own life together. Maybe I could even stay close to home.
I looked up to the rising light.
“One more day!”

Klein :

The mountains of gear and equipment around us were illuminated by harsh flood lights. We stood in formation with each person, regardless of species, showing physical signs of exhaustion. Drooping shoulders and bent knees, unfocused and slow eye movement.
Instructor Li’kele was wearing full battle rattle today, complete with a compact lasrifle holstered to her leg.
“Good morning applicants! It’s the last day of selection! Your assignment will be to support your sisters in the combat section in the wargames! You see all this critical equipment? Our first assignment will be to load all of it on auto-turoxes and hover-wagons. Unfortunately we don’t have enough capacity , some of you will need to carry gear on your person as we make the [ten mile] trek into the forest. Applicants 849, 734, 236 and 953 step up after we finish loading! You are our extra carriers.”
I knew I was going to be picked. It was easy to not let it bother me though. Reqellia had explained that the instructors were just trying to push us to our limits, and every extra duty and handicap meant a better contract with a brighter future.
Still, after hefting thousands of [pounds/kilos] of stuff onto the squat legged drone’s cargo cages and the little platforms that would float once powered, dread formed in the pit of my stomach as an entire counter-battery system was cinched onto my person. I trudged as we formed up for our road march.
The combat selection team rolled in as we took positions, already covered in mud from what I could guess was their own morning fun, their las-rifles at the low ready. Their own instructor, a severe looking Hyena-like Kortika woman with fur that trimmed short and smooth. She yelled out orders to the gaggle of applicants under her command. “Form on either side of the supply train and defend them at all costs! If they get shot because you weren’t doing your job, then it’s your ass that will be carrying the extra gear!”
We marched out of the base, clinking and clunking as we traveled uphill. The weight wasn’t too bad now that it was evenly distributed on my body, but it would be hell taking it off and putting it back on anytime we stopped.
“Isn’t that the new shock trooper ? What’s he doing with the non-combat selection?” I heard one of the combat applicants say idly. It was easy to pick up conversation in the nearly silent dawn as we marched on a dirt path extending across an expanse of grassland in the reddening sky. It was really pretty, watching the light play on the green forested hills in the distance.
Their Instructor sidled up to the commenting girl silently, ears swiveled back in anger. She grabbed her shoulder, growling low. “Cut the chatter, girl. ”
Silence followed for the next hour in the pre-dawn light.
We got the first taste of the wargames when red beams bolted over our heads and dropped one of our auto-turoxes. “Everyone get down!” yelled one of our instructors, and I threw myself on the path.
With all the weight on me, the impact on the ground hurt . I looked up and saw red beams blink in and out over me. Their flashes brought back memories.
The red glow through convenience store windows . An alien invasion.
I blinked furiously and turned my head to see what was going on with the combat teams on the sides of the road. They had already taken out two of the ‘raiders’ who stood up, hands in the air as they walked away. Another minute clicked by before a squad decided to double check the tall grass and found a third raider hiding. All had the insignia of the instruction cadre commandos.
“Everyone, up !” Instructor Lik’ele belted out in a two-word shout, and I had to push up off the ground, creaking under the weight. My arms burned as I got to my knees, then raised a hand and called out, “assistance!” One of the unnumbered girls gave me a hand to steady myself, and I rocked a bit trying to stand.
“Thank you,” I said, but between the voice distorter and my mask, the girl backed away as soon as I was up, fear registered in her eyes.
[At the bus stop, a classmate backed away from me. scared of me for some reason mumbling ‘you're bleeding’. Warmth on my upper lip, a coppery taste.]

I shook my head, trying to banish the weird memory surfacing, I hadn’t had a nosebleed since I left Earth. I looked back up, but the girl had already gotten back in formation and we started moving again.
It wasn’t quite noon when we stopped for lunch. I got help removing my kit, and stretched to work out the kinks. Reqellia stood next to me as I sat down on the hard packed surface. I took off my gloves, and jammed them under my chest holster.
I was technically ‘armed’ right now. We had gotten the thirty-minute las-pistol training yesterday on how to safely handle them, and then ran through a quick range. They were nothing more than glorified laser pointers though. They could lock up a suit set to respond to the laser signal, but they wouldn’t so much as redden skin otherwise.
Reqellia had let me in on their real purpose, to see if we could be trusted with a dangerous object and not play with it.
Eating was a pain, I had to lift my mask halfway up and eat blind. The meal pack was cold, but eh, it was food. Goddess, I was hungry.
“How are you holding up?” Reqellia asked, the silver mask obscuring any expression, and the voice distorter deadening any intonation, but by the angle of the head tilt, I could guess the question was more concern than curiosity.
“It’s not too heavy, but it’s awkward trying to move around,” I admitted as I put my mask back in place and pulled out my omni-pad. I tried not to boggle at the contract offers I was getting. It was a straight up bidding war, including furnished houses, years of leave after an initial stint, even minor titles.
Ruhal had helped me, even filled out the forms himself with less than a day for submission. He had also messaged me about the fine print of many of these absurd offers. The watch word was ‘Relocation’.
“They will send you back to Earth. Right now, you are the only human any department can recruit who might know an obscure piece of human signage or culture that got skipped during their culture crash courses, has the physical ability to keep up during an operation, and they can implicitly trust it is loyal to the Imperium.”
I scrolled past the too-good-to-be true proposals and to the ones without relocation, not ridiculously overpaying, but still plenty. Maybe I would follow Ka’tel into ICAD, or…
“We need to get moving!” Li’kele barked and I signaled for help again. This time Au’tes was ordered to help me with my gear. Now seeing her up close, she was definitely worse for wear. She smiled, but it was the kind of tired smile that had almost no energy in it. Her usual well controlled movements were slurred by exhaustion, and she leaned on me after buckling the packs on my shoulders, her own extra gear was a large backpack of energy cells.
“Damn, girl runs away in fear from combat selection after spending years in the militia and now plays valet. Bet whatever is underneath that suit is more would eat her alive if unmuzzled,” I overheard one of the combat applicants snicker. Au’tes winced, just a bit, at the barb from her former youth militia group.
“Lift your visor.” I said. It was dumb, it was really dumb, but I wanted to give her at least a reminder of what she had that they didn’t. Au’tes had a flicker of confusion, but flipped up the visor on her suit’s helmet.
I lifted my mask just enough to kiss her. It was honestly a gross kiss and wished I could have brushed my teeth beforehand. But when I dropped my mask down there was the manic Au’tes again, full of energy and gusto. I looked past her to the shocked combat applicants. I put my finger to roughly where my mouth was and whispered in my distorted voice, “No one will believe you.”
Au’tes brought her visor down and squeezed my hand for a second longer before leaning in close “Thank you for letting me know you still exist under there.

Reqellia:

The dirt trail up the hill was easy enough for my legs. I stayed in the same general area as Klein, but with my augments I already had his pinpoint location and medical data, I could even access his helmet camera. I didn’t want to get in his way while the instructors gave him snap secondary tasks to complete on our journey up to the outpost location.
I kept myself entertained by listening in on the comms chatter that I could pick up on the wargames going on about us at large. I had enjoyed playing the no-holds-barred opposing force when I was a commando on rotation here.
Right now there was a particularly fun little drama going on up north of our location. A mechanized assault unit tasked with taking out an anti-orbital battery got one of their exos stuck in mud because of a poor assessment of the ground composition. The armored crane they had first ordered to pull it out was now also stuck.
The Lieutenant was trying to get an exception to the wargame rules to bring a drop ship in to pull them both out, but the higher-ups told her to figure it out. The whole point of these wargames was to discover how things could go wrong. The Lieutenant tried to pull title to overrule them, only to get a nasty conversation from her commander.
A small beep from my monitoring systems told me Klein’s heart rate had slowed and I looked up to see the front of the supply train had been ordered to halt. Up ahead was the “fort,” a clearing on top of the hill with nothing but some half buried holes.
The Kortika woman got to the front of the formation and gave her orders. “Listen up! Combat selection is going to set up a perimeter while the Auxiliary builds us a structure safe enough to hold during an assault. All weapons are going ‘live’, but for those in the non-combat teams I will again warn you to only use them in self-defense. If you wanted to shoot people for a living you should have signed up for it.”
I tried not to flinch as I watched Klein and his compatriots start to offload all the gear they had packed this morning and attempt their best effort at setting it up with basic instructions from Li’kele and the manuals that came with the equipment. Just another test to see how the applicants would handle the technical situation.
At this point they were at their limit, physically and mentally exhausted as they tried to bolt frames together, wrestle antennas, install expandable barriers, and put together the foundations of a forward operating base.
Klein had all but given up on the counter battery system he schlepped here and handed that responsibility off to a Senthe Boy while speaking a rough northern dialect of Satenthia. The boy was more than happy to talk to someone who knew even a few words of his native tongue.
I opened a small window on my HUD and watched with amusement as the early contract offers rose and fell. Klein’s offer from naval engineering, already paltry compared to other, more suitable jobs, dropped to barely above standard. Intelligence and Law branches, however, rocketed upwards again.
I could almost hear the recruiter’s comments as the numbers and terms changed. Does not have familiarity with Shil military equipment. Comfortable with speaking multiple languages. Works well with multiple species.
I watched them work. Klein, in usual Klein fashion, pushed himself. After getting the counter battery laser hooked up, he volunteered for other physically demanding tasks. Pile driving in the foundations that hold the columns of the structure. The rhythmic thump gave me ghost aches when I had done the same thing out in the periphery while getting pot shotted by roaches.
I shook my head. It was going to be another rough night for him by the way he was bunching up his shoulders as he braced the handheld pile driver. Thankfully, tomorrow he’d be home and with an appointment with Cee who might force him on bed rest for the next month.
I started to chuckle at the thought of how protective Itaro was going to get after taking one look at Klein. I came back from deployment once missing three fingers from a plasma grenade and Bahtet waited on me and foot, wouldn’t so much as let me handle a kitchen knife until they were replaced later that month.
A few stray red beams were thrown our way, even a flash bang or two from the commandos tasked with harassing us came and went. As the ramparts of the temporary base were finished, I took up station on the second level to oversee the whole complex. Klien was working with a combat team, helping them put a second defense line in. They had driven stakes into the ground to support parallel knee-high thermocast plates with an arms-length gap between them, which Klein was filling in with dirt to act as a wall and platform for the heavy, crew served lasgun.
I was thankful there would be a shuttle to pick us up soon. I played the opposing force for Selection a few times, and I still remembered the script. Right now we were in a lull that would last until dusk, then at least three full commando teams would assault the base. The battle would be made as realistic and demanding as possible with creeping dark to add to the complexity.
The Selection team would always be wiped out, but it was how they performed against overwhelming odds that would shift the contract offers that last bit before everything was locked in place.
I heard the whirr of a counter battery system swiveling around, and then the crackle of it firing. I turned to see what it was aiming for but all I saw was a cloud of smoke . Then a fast moving object came through the cloud before I heard the crackle again and another exploded .
Blanketing everything in a tar-black fog .
My stomach dropped. This wasn’t the cadre commando team, and they were attacking too soon. I got on the comms with Li’kele “HALT, HALT, HALT! We need to stop the exercise!”
I got a crackle on the comms. Then Li’kele’s voice came in that terrifyingly calm voice used to keep control of a combat operation. “I can’t get a signal out, I need a report on the situation.”
Instead of trying to explain I sent her my video feed as I jumped down from the ramparts and started to sprint for Klein. I needed to get him out of here , but I hadn’t had time to prime my augments. I started the cold power cycle as I cursed myself for letting my guard down.
I was already too late . I watched as our own counter-battery laser weapons were used against us, acting as the triggers for each smoke grenade engulfing Klein’s team right in front of me, their signal dropping right out. I got a response from Li’kele that alleviated at least some of my terror. “Dammit! It’s the 171 st Raiders from the wargames, they mus-”
And then I was enveloped in darkness and static. The smoke was so thick I could only see a few paces away in all spectrums. I tried my internal radio and….
Nothing. I was alone and with nothing to guide me, and then I saw to the right of me a few weak beams of red, and then a ball of light of a simulated explosion. I let my gnawing panic subside and walked their way with a observers flag in my hand. I was practically on top of them before I saw the combat selection team that had been ‘killed’, their frowning faces and hands up as they sat there grumbling.
The Raiders appeared soon after. A four woman squad. Two Helkam, a Rakiri, and a Shil’vati hefting a large antiquated grenade launcher. I called out “Do you have a way to call a emergency stop to the battle?”
The squad leader responded. “Did someone get seriously injured? I can fire off a flare and our medic teams will be here to extract them.”
“No! This is Selection, we aren’t supposed to be part of the Wargames.” I argued, but she waved me off.
“We got orders to assault the base up here. Trust me, our commander is mighty pissed at getting tasked with a frontal assault on the youngest and toughest the Imperium has to offer, with adding insult to injury if we lose to kids. That’s why we broke out the smoke screen.”
“One of the Selection members is the first of their species. Higher ups want them monitored at all times,” I partly lied.
The gears whirred and the team lead brought her weapon up again, eyes a little wider. “ Blue Eyes is here? Shit, girls ready up and head on a swivel!”
The team reformed in a circle facing outwards, a tactic specifically meant for ambushes and roach suicide drones. I stood there, confused. “Blue eyes?”
The team lead started to move into the smoke again, but explained, her eyes darting around. “Yeah, the freaky creature in the mask, toyed with an unmanned Exo before annihilating it with a shipcutter! A close quarters combat specialist with heavy armor and a real mean streak . You’re telling me they’re loose in a forest with enough concealment to sneak up on us and tear us to shreds? Ma’am the only ones in immediate danger are us. ”

BEFORE YOU POST A COMMENT Read This First!!!!
Your questions are probably answered in this post. Updated June 2024.
Why this post/thread? What's the point?
The Mod Team removes about a dozen requests of this sort every single day, and most of them have the same answers. This is because most of these requests fall into a few categories, and because of that, most of our answers include some sort of cut and paste of stuff we've already done. So, read on before posting, save yourself the time. If your post's main question has already answered here, it will at best get a terse response, and may be ignored.
Here are the most common answers/situations.
Category 1: "More information on" or "identify" your Grandfather’s/Father’s Watch/Some Other Vintage Omega you got/found/inherited/saw online.
No one can identify your vintage (pre 1990 or so) watch from a photo you took on your iPhone. The problem is that Omega made a boatload of variants, and redials/repaints are common. As and example, In the reference number "166.0216", the 0216 means "the 216th variant". Combine that with the fact that repainted dial are common, and a buyer could special order dials without changing the reference, and getting the exact reference from a photo of the front is a minor miracle.
If you want the reference number, take the watch to a qualified watchmakejeweler and have them open the watch. THIS IS THE WAY. The reference number should be on the inside of the caseback. Have them get the serial number off the movement, while you're at it, and you can back into an approximate year of production. I can’t tell you how many times I cut and paste some version of this paragraph into my replies to requests in the past.
We also can't tell you, for sure, if it's a redial. But if we can, from a photo, you probably can, from the same photo. For a great primer on vintage watches, see this: https://omegaforums.net/threads/learn-how-to-fish.52603/
It is a fantastic resource for looking at/purchasing vintage watches online. It will tell you how to spot redials, etc. And it's a great read, regardless. Well worth your time to read the entire thing.
Category 2: Validating the watch you’re thinking of buying or other "legit check."
DON'T COUNT ON REDDIT to validate the watches you're thinking of buying. A person trying to commit fraud has a number of ways to con you. They could send you/post fake photos and mail a different watch. Or the fake could be a really good superclone. Or they could send you an empty box. Or we could be wrong in our assessment, and miss a sign of a replica.
Sometimes we can tell it's a fake. *We can't tell you it's real.\*
You have to BUY THE SELLER. This means, buy a watch from someone reputable, so that you know you're getting an authentic piece or have recourse. If you're buying from someone you don't have absolute confidence in, get the watch in your hands and look at the movement/dial yourself, preferably with a jeweler's loop. Protect yourself. Be safe. Don't count on reddit to save you.
If you're looking for general information on how to look for fake watches, read this:https://www.thewatchpages.com/how-to-spot-a-fake-watch/#
If you’re looking to validate the vintage watch you’re thinking of buying, see this:
https://omegaforums.net/threads/learn-how-to-fish.52603/
Category 3: "Value Check"/ "Is this a good price?" on the watch you want to buy or sell, or one you got as a gift.
These post never contain enough information, and even so, the answers are almost always the same. So...here's how you can come up with a decent price estimate. Learn to fish.
Where are you, and are you willing to ship internationally? A good price depends on location. Japan has great prices right now, if you're buying. Miserable, if you're selling. Your local jeweler is going to charge you more, but may pay you more, also.
How much of a hurry are you in? And is the watch in demand? A Snoopy is going to sell faster than a Proplof. But there's a price that will move either one in a day.
Where are you looking to buy or sell? your local jeweler is different than Chrono24.
You want to sell online? How much reputation do you have? How trusted will you be, as a seller?
[Insert some other custom item here that could affect value] - you get the idea.
When selling: Here's what we suggest:
First: Find out exactly what you have. Get the reference number and age. Open the watch back if you have to, See Category 1 for more info.
Second: Be realistic about the condition. I suggest the watchuseek grading system. I use it in my posts when I'm selling, so there's no confusion. You can find it here:
https://www.watchuseek.com/threads/watch-grading-system-with-a-chart.816814/
Next: go to the watchexchange subreddit, and Chrono24.com, and search for your watch, by reference number. What did they sell for on watchexchange? What was the condition? Is it populaselling well? If they're being sold by a jeweler, understand you're probably looking at something less, because people "buy the seller", and you have no credibility. What are they listed for on Chrono24? Again, that's what they're listed for, there's negotiation, you're probably going to get less. And private party? Less than a jewelry store.
So, now you have a ballpark. Something less than Chrono24, but close to WatchExchange, if there are comparable sales. So now what?
If you don't want to sell, you're done. Or, go get an appraisal, which was the proper thing to do in the first place. That'll give you a number you can use for insurance.
If you want to sell, put it on watchexchange at that price. Lower the price every week until it sells. How fast do you want to sell? Lower the price to sell faster. If you're not really interested in selling fast, start higher and don't cut the prices as fast/at all.
Last, if you have a great collector's watch and want to sell in a week, try Grailzee.com.
Or, there's always ebay. Put it on at a penny, and it will sell in a week for some reasonable number.
When Buying:
The same model for "selling" makes sense, except that there's value in "buying the seller as much as the watch." Buying from a seller where you have recourse has value, and you should be willing to pay for it.
See "Category 2" for more valuable information.
Category 4: When that's not enough/something else.
You might first try https://omegaforums.net/
If you have exhausted all of these options, and still want to post, you’re in the right place.
YOUR POST *MUST* CONTAIN:

1. A "Back Story". Any info you have about where you're seeing this watch or how you came across it. It would be great if you also drop some hint that you've actually read this entire post, and taken advantage of the resources we've provided. Do some research on your own and then ask your question. These are required. If you don't provide a back story, and/or it seems like you haven't read this post, I will send you back here.
2. Approximate case size, and what kind of movement (manual/auto/quartz) if it's not indicated on the dial. If you know it's gold plated vs solid gold, put that in the post as well.
3. Clear, high def pictures of the front, back, and sides of the watch, including the crown. Preferably multiple of the front. A single photo of the face is not enough, and you'll be sent back to read this post. With photos, More is better. Better is better. All photos in IMGUR or directly in the comments, see below for a link.
4. Ideally, a picture of the movement and inside of the caseback. Not mandatory, but very helpful.

If you don't want to do any of your own research or give us proper photos to work with, you can post your request to , or . They probably won't take it down.
For safety reasons, Imgur is the only image hosting site that you are to use for pictures of your watch. Here is a link: Imgur.
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Posted in relationship advice also, but I feel that this sub attracts a more mature/goal oriented set of advice! I love my husband and he is amazing + my best friend. I am looking for proactive tips to help us communicate through this issue.
My (F31) husband (M33) and I disagree on when it is appropriate to share contact info with the opposite sex. When is it appropriate to share contact info?
As the title says, my husband and I have had a long standing issue with making boundaries around exchanging contact info with the opposite sex. I told him I was making this post to get insight from other people since he keeps saying what other men are ok/not ok with.
BACKSTORY (skip if short on time): 1. When we first got together—I mean within the first two weeks of him and I meeting—I went to a work conference and got the number of a male coworker from a different location who was grouped up with our location so we could all go out as a group for dinner that night. We chatted a bit (maybe two weeks) after the conference via text until I noticed the vibes were off and I stopped responding. This was almost seven years ago and my husband still brings this up frequently whenever a new, opposite gender scenario arises.

1. Last year I was outside and noticed my neighbor who we have lived next to for a few years but never talked to was outside. We have noticed before that they are our age but had never talked to them. I was free that day and had a wild hair up my butt so I decided to introduce myself and my husband (he wasn’t there but I told the neighbor about us both). We chatted for a bit and he showed me a project he was working on in his backyard. We talked about similar hobbies and he asked for my number so we could all get together sometime. We exchanged contact info and when I told my husband (I was all excited that I finally talked to the elusive neighbor we always saw but never interacted with) he was furious and said I was extremely disrespectful and no man would be ok with his partner giving their number to a stranger and on the reverse the male neighbor would have known that asking for a married woman’s number was disrespectful. I was baffled because I truly just was excited to finally meet the neighbor and maybe know some people in our neighborhood.

CURRENT SITUATION: I recently picked up a part time job in the outdoor industry for the summer. There was a week of intensive training with all of the new hires (12 hour grueling days of physical activity—“hell week” as they call it). Understandably, all of the trainees got close from this within the week. Being a male dominated industry, there were more men than women in the training group.
One of the men shared a similar hobby as my husband and I (let’s call it “bird watching” for anonymity). Every time it was brought up in conversation, I mentioned my husband, and even throughout the week I brought up my husband in various conversation.
At the end of the training, as we were saying our goodbyes, the bird watcher asked me for my number so him, my husband, and I could go bird watching over the summer together. Remembering that my husband asked me not to give my number to men, I instead asked him for his number and did not give him mine. That evening I came home and excitedly told my husband about meeting another bird watcher and told him that even though he asked for my number I did not give it to him but instead got his number! (I thought this was a win and I did a good job respecting his boundary). He acknowledged it but didn’t say much and the conversation moved on naturally.
The next morning, he brought up me getting the guys number and said it was disrespectful to our relationship and the boundaries he set. He brought up the two aforementioned situations above and again said no man would be ok with their partner exchanging contact info with strangers. He said he doesn’t need me to get friends for him and that I should think it is suspicious the man asked for my number and not the other women in our training group (I don’t know if he did or not) since I was closer in age to this man. I also am above average attractive (I’m not trying to be conceited I’m just trying to include the facts). My husband frequently points out that men will treat me differently because of this and i need to be aware of that (I can’t help genetics, though, and sometimes feel like I now have an extra burden on my shoulders due to being conventionally attractive)
I am extremely outgoing and my partner is not. To me, I am open to hanging out with anyone who wants to hangout! The man was fully aware this would involve my husband and I and we go bird watching almost every weekend so I figured we could just text this guy to meet up with us every now and then.
What do you think Reddit? What are some boundaries you have in your relationship about this? I don’t want to be disrespectful to my husband, but I also feel like he doesn’t trust my discretion.

My ex-husband completed his third bout of treatment for alcoholism a couple months ago, and to my knowledge has been sober since then. I had been sending one of my kids to spend every other weekend with him at her request (the other two don’t usually want to go and he doesn’t argue). But when he picked up my daughter last night he looked really off. Super jaundiced and swelling in his face and hands that looked like it would be pitting. I’m a nurse, and haven’t worked inpatient for a couple years, but he looked like a cirrhosis hospice patient. He seemed sober when he picked her up, but seemed a little confused (he parked in our neighbor’s driveway instead of mine). Our houses look similar, and his mom usually picks her up, so understandable, but with the jaundice it makes me a little worried about the confusion that often accompanies liver failure. My daughter is also autistic and non-verbal, but she does have a speech device she is good with and an iPad that she can and does text me on, but if he got sick when she is there I don’t think she would know how to respond. She loves her dad and loves spending time with him, but it made me incredibly anxious to send her with him last night. I don’t know what the right thing to do is, and also legally I know I can’t technically keep her here, but I also know he wouldn’t fight me (although I’m sure he’d be upset about it on social media so he could look like the poor father whose wife is withholding the kids). I don’t know if there is a good answer to this situation, but don’t know if maybe someone else has dealt with this and knows how to navigate something like this.

My partner left me with our two young children after grooming me for years. How do I heal?
I am 26f and my ex partner is 69m.
That’s hard to type out and admit to the situation I’ve found myself in. This has been my biggest secret for years.
I met my partner at 19. I worked as a waitress at the barestaurant he owns. I had a lot of fun I was cute and I loved being around customers. My personality was sarcastic and charming. A lot of people became my friends there. He watched me a lot and he gave me uneasy vibes. I kept it to myself he was a known creep. I didn’t think much of it until I had turned 21 (still working as a waitress) and he started becoming inappropriate with me. He would touch me around corners and spaces where I couldn’t push him away or it would be obvious to others what he was doing. For some reason I didn’t want to get him caught. He stayed in a dark room next to the bathrooms when I went to go pee one drink night after work I was drinking with my coworkers. He held my wrists led me into the dark side of the room and forcibly made me make out with him. That was the beginning.
I didn’t have much family and what I did have was an addict mother and a distant dad. I didn’t have a good example or even anyone to talk to about this. He poured sweet words into my head and professed his love and honestly it felt nice. He had found out I was a virgin after our first encounter. I was too scared to tell him I didn’t want to look like a child. He treated me like a hookup. Once he found out I was a virgin and he was my first he had become obsessive with me.
I found out he was married and had children older than me. He gave me the same story any married man would give you and me being so struck by him I dealt with it. I know I’m wrong. I will be punished in life for what I’ve done emotionally to this other woman. I’m not a victim.
He convinced me to have his child. He was having sex with me unprotected and professed how badly he wanted another chance at fatherhood. He was so busy with his first children he felt he missed out. His parents moved from his hometown in Greece to help him and his wife raise the children. I gave in. I was 23 and wanted a child. I knew he could support that child comfortably. I was very naive.
I was induced and had a quiet lonely labor without him present. I moved in with my mother and raised my daughter quietly mostly on my own. (My pregnancy was kept secret until I gave birth) I loved her so much. My whole life felt changed. It was hard to cope having him pop in and out but I tried to believe his love and made it work. Anytime I asked him for more time he got angry and told me I was asking too much. He was becoming insecure and more controlling. He secretly put trackers on my car. Had my phones location and checked my phone regularly.
I broke it off because I resented my loneliness so much. I became close with a guy my age. He was compassionate, loved my daughter, and enjoyed being my friend. My ex partner discovered my relationship by having microphones and trackers on my car and diaper bag
I was trying to coparent with my partner but he makes it very difficult trying to bring me back to him. Eventually he convinced me to come back to him move out of my home and try to be a family. I give in and try my best to make this work. He is more insecure calling me insults. A whore for being with another man and that I have ruined everything he will never love me the same. He eventually calms down and we get into a little routine with very high ups and very low lows.
Fast forward I accidentally become pregnant with our second child. I was distraught. I didn’t know how I would handle two children on my own with little help. My pregnancy put me in the hospital a dozen times from extreme sickness which looking back was extreme anxiety. I wanted to terminate but I couldn’t afford it and he wouldn’t allow me to. He confessed the affair to his wife and he moved in fully with me. She threatened me and tried to confront me but I was very pregnant and sick I couldn’t handle it. He reassured me he was with me because the kids needed him. He promised he would never leave. I tried to be secure and be excited for our second child. We found out she was another girl. I was happier than I’d been in years.
A few days before I had our daughter his oldest child died in a tragic accident. I tried to wait and hold off going into labor before the funeral. I had my child the morning of his viewing.
Midnight I went into labor he had stumbled home after drinking and grieving. He tried to force sexual acts on me but I had to explain I was in labor. He yelled at me on the way to the hospital for being in so much pain I threw up in his car. He was so different. I chalked it up to his child dying I needed to let him go through it atleast he was here this time.
I had a very hard labor our daughter got stuck but she came three hours later. He seemed disassociated the whole birth. He left an hour after I had her to go home sleep and get ready for the viewing later. He patted my shoulder and said good job. I bit my lip and tried to be positive. My mother brought me home two days later
I learned to breastfeed and give my toddler attention. I never asked him to help me I was on my own again and I was determined to do it on my own. He was in between my house and his ex wives to help . They were both grieving I tried to be understanding but I was alone except for at night. I started resenting him and fighting more than ever before. He started going away on fishing trips more and more. He only came home for sex. I kept the house clean and tried to keep him happy with sex even if my body wasn’t ready. He was getting frustrated and pushing me away. He couldn’t accept my postpartum and said him being financially responsible was enough. I asked too much and I wasn’t happy all I did was bitch at him I was unappreciative I was a whore. Eventually nothings could be said. Maybe I’m wrong for bitching all the time I couldn’t stop I just wanted to pull him in and be there for him while he was grieving
I had a lot of suspicions. He started hating me. He insulted me and put me down sex started to hurt. He was different. I became different and angry when before I would pretend to be happy
It all ended a few days ago. He called on his way back from a fishing trip. He said we were done I pushed him away I caused this. After a lot of me begging for an explanation he finally told me he’s going back to his wife they need to support each other in their grief. He says I played a huge role in this and his child dying was karma for what we did. He packed all of his things and I came home to an empty house. I’m gutted and devastated.
Our last conversation he wants me to live in our current home that he owns and he will make a lease agreement I have to sign. I will not be doing that. I will be moving with my family an hour and a half away and filing emergency custody. I will let him have some time as well. One of the terms in his lease is that I have to agree to never have another man around our kids. I will never sign and let him control me again
How do I heal and coparent with this man that hurt me all these years.

So in this dream, it started of like a movie of some sorts. I was with a group of people, I think my mother was with us. We were driving into the mountains up to a campsite, and we finally made it to this place overlooking a lake. There was a pergola on the edge of the mountain where some grills were situated and I remember I sat down there. I don't remember what happened next but we were finally set up at camp and everything was going smoothly. Until it wasn't. I'm not sure what occurred but we started running, I think one of us disappeared on the way. Next thing I know, we are on a thin, narrow, hiking trail that is going down the mountain. We reach an area (us as a group) and it is somewhat flat. I think one of the guys is very paranoid and starts accusing is of doing something that caused this person to go missing. He pulls out a knife. I don't recall what happens next but there are many times where one wrong move and this guy would slit your throat, but my brain, of course, would give me a front row seat of it happening. In my dream i was so scared of what was going on, I think I started to show fear to the guy and he got up and grabbed me. He said something along the lines of me having something to do with it and that he was finna kill me now. The scene moves to me on the floor, and him saying he's going to shoot me. I found that odd, because he was usually slitting throats. Next thing I know, a bullet is through my chest. Weirdly I feel no pain and fake my death. Little by little I force my body to slide down the trail as if my body is accumulating more blood causing it to weigh more. I think at a certain point I get close to to where the group was situated and the guy gets close to me. The next few moments are a blur, but I remember hitting him or someone and making a run for it. I get to the top of the camping site near the top of the mmountain, and there's a parking lot with a few cars in it. I see someone getting something from their car and run to them, I see the group follows behind me. We all starts begging for help, and the lady agrees to help us. For whatever reason, we start going back down the trail but now there's an air that each time someone crosses a certain limit, makes us so tired. Next thing I know, I am debating crossing it, and the lady Is behind us. She grabs a switch and this makes us go from speaking spanish to english. Most of the people there are saying things such as "I don't understand english" or "what's going on". Then this is where it gets gruesome, again. The lady pulls out a meat knife and little by little slips everyone's throats. Of course, my angle shifts onto them getting it slit and watching the blood pool out. I remember I ran into the woods and she chased after me. We made it towards this sort of abandoned prison like cell area and I walked in, her behind me. As we walked, the place looked oddly familiar to me. As the place was dark, I portrayed as if I had walked into a cell like room, when I hadn't, and watched her follow behind me. As soon as she went in, I shut the door and locked it, running away. The angle moved to one where it shows there's a gap between the roof and the cell, so she's able to make an easy escape. I'm running and running and make it to the parking lot. The lady had never taken her keys out of the car or something like that, so next thing I know I'm driving off. I have no idea what happens next but all of a sudden I'm at a supermarket with a little sister and I break down in the market yelling "Mom...Mom!" I remember I had brief interactions with workers at meat and deli counters before the breakdown. Then I woke up.
Honestly, I think this was just a nightmare. I haven't had one in a while so it was bound to occur.
What do y'all think this might have meant? I'm open to any ideas. Apart from that I apologize for this being long, I just woke up and didn't want to lose much detail of what occurred. What's weird to me, is in the end of my dream, I broke down for my mom, but I remember no scene of her getting killed. Could she still be out there in this dream? I guess we'll never know...

I (27F) and my bf (28m) have been dating for over a year and live together. We have a beautiful relationship and we are compatible in 99% of things. Our values align, we share a great sense of humor, we care about and love each other so much, it’s obvious in any room we walk in and when we are behind closed doors. We are always challenging each other to be better humans.
The one issue we have is a disagreement on boundaries with opposite sex friends. It’s been an ongoing disagreement and has been the foundation of every single fight and argument we’ve had. We seriously do not fight about anything else.
I have set very clear boundaries with my male friends, mostly indirectly. I don’t speak with them much one on one and i am not closer to them than i am to my female friends. We don’t have inappropriate inside jokes and i never hang out with them one on one and im happy with those boundaries with my friends.
My bf in the other hand has hardly any boundaries with his opposite sex friend and most of his close friends are women. He has several group chats with like 2 other women that are named a bit weird names like “(girl’s name’s) hubbies” - this is a group chat of my bf, a girl he’s friends with since college and pursued for a bit, and another male, gay friend. He is part of 3-4 other groups similar to that with only women though with similar group names.
They have history to speak a lot about sex and the details of dating. Him and i disagree, but imo, there have been some flirty interactions between a couple of them before and after we started dating. History of sending memes about sex to each other. One of the women recently caused a very weird issue on social media (followed, unfollowed me, blocked me and my bf several times, liked and unliked my posts, etc. was just acting very strange mostly towards my social media accounts)
I guess what im trying to figure out is should i feel ok with this? Should I ask him to make boundaries and change these friendships a bit? He always tells me that he doesn’t want to change his friendships and feel like his freedom is being taken away. That’s not what I want though. I just want to feel comfortable in the relationship and not worry about the next inappropriate interaction he has with his female friends or the next time one of them try to initiate an inappropriate interaction with him. He doesn’t agree that is the case. His definition of inappropriate is way different than mine.
I don’t want him to isolate himself. Most of his friends are females. It’s just really beginning to bother me a lot. We’ve almost broken up a couple times over these arguments of boundaries with friends and how it bothers me. I’m scared to bring it up at this point because like i said, the rest of our relationship is so beautiful. Should i suck it up and bottle this up?

Backstory: I (43f) and my sister (38f) have been close our whole lives. Enter her husband, we will call him Psycho, (39m). They met at work, and I am responsible for their relationship, I suggested they would be cute together, and she ran with it. They went from dating to married in a matter of 2 WEEKS!! He immediately moved in with her, and my mom, uncle, grandma and my niece (8f, her daughter from a previous relationship). Almost immediately he started to change and show his narcissistic, controlling, conniving, dishonest ways. He repeatedly stole things, one of the first being a starter for my moms car. She bought one new, he returned it, kept the money and went to a junkyard to get a used one that didn’t even end up working!! This was the point I said enough, I was done with him, AND her until she left him. I wanted him out of my families home, the sooner the better. My mom ended up having him evicted after he stole money from all 3 of their accounts, he was also arrested for CDV against my sister for choking her and hitting her and for illegal possession of a FIREARM. My sister said she was DONE and getting a divorce. He was in jail for awhile because he had warrants for child support. Turns out, the whole time he was in jail she was using my families bank accounts to talk to him on the jail phone. Eventually he was released and literally the day he was, she was back with him. My mom refused to let him come back into her home so he lived in his truck at campsites etc. She would often disappear only to text me here and there about him hurting and abusing her. This went on for awhile. Psycho AGAIN stole money out of my families bank accounts, that my mother had recently had to completely change. Another warrant was issued and he ended up going back to jail for the 2nd CDV charge against my sister. He was in jail for a few months, again we found out that my sister had been talking to him on the jail phone on my families dime the whole time. He ended up bonding out of jail, my sister dropped the charges and she somehow convinced my mom to let him MOVE BACK IN!! This was right before the holidays last year (2023). I explained to my mom that I would not be bringing my family, (husband, 2 daughters and 2 sons), to her home while that Psycho was living there. This caused a lot of friction between me and my mom. Thanksgiving passed, then came December when my 92 yr old grandma passed away. My mom was upset that I wouldn’t budge on allowing my kids to come over there so she wasn’t speaking to me. I found out my grandmother was in the hospital on Facebook. Thankfully I was able to go and say goodbye to her, she passed away peacefully the next morning. Christmas came and went, still no word from my mom or sister. I did have my niece over occasionally who would tell us how much she hated her stepdad and how awful things were at home. She would cry and try to run away when she had to go back. Through a mutual friend of mine and my mothers, I found out that things were steadily getting worse. Psycho was starting to get physical again with my sister, constantly arguing and fighting with her. March 26th comes, and I get a phone call from my sisters friend. My mom had passed away. She had a heart attack, and died instantly. My heart was literally broken. I hadn’t spoken to my mom since before Thanksgiving, all because of that MF’r. It took awhile to get back to feeling somewhat “normal” after that, I am still struggling with depression. I did speak to my sister, but it’s not the same anymore. I don’t think it ever will be. Right after my mom passed away my sister and Psycho had a huge fight. He got in my Uncles face, almost put his hands on him, but didn’t. He ended up leaving for a couple days. He came back and almost immediately started fighting with my sister. It wasn’t long before it went way too far. He ended up hitting my sister straight across her face with a 2x4. Knocked one of her teeth loose, beat her all over and also hit my sister’s friend with the 2x4 for trying to stop him. He took off. Cops were called, but this time THEY brought the charges on him because of what they had witnessed, (blood all over the wall, my sisters face, her friends head, and the fact this ALL HAPPENED in front of my 8yr old niece!!!!!!) So basically she can’t dismiss these charges, the state is pressing them. He ran for about a week, and was finally found and arrested. He is currently still there. He has a 25k bond for 4 different charges and both of them have a NO-CONTACT order. Finally, to my dilemma. Currently, my Uncle, is the only person paying any bills at their home. He is on SSI and has a very limited income, barely enough to pay the mortgage + electric & water bills. My sister does not work and considers her EBT her rent payment, which BTW does not include my uncle. My mom and grandma had always handled the bills, so this is all new to my Uncle and I have been doing my best to help him. I took him to his bank the other week, and we found out that my sister had been using cash app to send herself and her friends money, and also found more jail call charges. The bank lady helped him shut his accounts down and restart them with new account numbers, and a new debit card. I told my Uncle under no circumstances was he to let my sister have his debit card or account numbers. He promised me he wouldn’t. Now, the first has rolled around, new set of bills are coming due and I am getting ready to help him with his bills. I have a bad feeling that when I take him to the bank we will find out that she has somehow found a way into his accounts. I know for a 100% fact that she has been talking on the phone to Psycho. Just so we are clear, I have 0 problem sending her to jail for stealing from my uncle. She is an adult and if she wants to continue to talk with that psychopath, she needs to pay for it, not my disabled uncle. I would really appreciate any advice. Am I the a-hole?

Memory transcription subject: Sare, Yotul Rebuilder Date [standardized human time]: January 31st, 2136
I pulled the hoodie tighter around myself. It had only gotten colder over the past few days; I’d taken multiple chances to thank Gavin for his gift. Every time I passed the human, I saw a grin spread across his face, and I felt something flutter in my stomach. I managed to keep myself composed enough as he joined me in the vegan line once again.
“You actually like this stuff?” I asked. I gestured to the rest of the extraterrestrials in the line. “I don’t think any of us do.”
He shrugged. “It’s different, at least. Two months of ham and cheese sandwiches does something to a man.”
I stared at him for a moment. He looked at me with a soft gaze and a slight smile, and I found myself admiring his eyes and the way his beanie-formed hair draped over them. His expression morphed to confusion, however, and he waved his hand at me.
“Earth to Sare? Are you… looking for something?”
I realized I’d just been standing there staring for a solid twenty seconds and I flushed deep green, pulling my scarf over my face. “I- uh, I’m alright, yeah! I’m just-” I wove my paws around futilely as if I could speak with them. I gestured for Gavin to move ahead of me in the line, and he let out a small laugh as he walked past to pick up his meal. I followed shortly behind him, my face burning.
Today’s meal was some emulation of venlil cuisine. It was… alright, for something made by non-venlil chefs, but I’d had better in Earth’s vegan food. Gavin, however, seemed pretty excited by it.
“As long as I’ve worked here, I haven’t had much alien food.” He took a bite from his meal and continued speaking as he chewed. “Not bad. I think I prefer yotul food, though,” he said, musing as he looked off into the distance.
I piped up excitedly at that. “I could make you something!”
“You can?” he asked, genuine intrigue in his voice. “What could you do?”
Shit.
There really wasn’t a lot of even human food available to cook with, let alone imports from Leirn that I was familiar with, but I felt like I needed to repay Gavin with something, at least.
“Uh-, well, there’s a type of salad back home I might be able to make with stuff here. Um… I don’t think it’d be very good, but-”
“Ah, don’t worry about that. Anything handmade is great if you put your heart into it,” he said, his tone reassuring and a smile on his face. I absentmindedly fiddled with the drawstrings of my hoodie as he took a few more bites from his lunch; a few moments passed before he looked at me and flushed a bit, then quickly finished his meal. I stared off into the distance, nothing in particular on my mind as I ate, but I saw Gavin hurry off to the administrator’s office. I downed my food and followed him with a brisk walk.
“What’s the rush?”
He looked me over for a moment before letting out a breath I couldn’t tell he was holding. “There’s still a lot of work to do today, y’know? It’s going to be cold tonight, and besides, it’s New Year’s Eve. I gotta get my work done quick so I have tonight free.”
We both paused for a moment. “What do humans do for the new year?” I asked.
“Normally, the tradition is to set off a bunch of fireworks- oh, those are like little explosive things-”
“There’s some great firework shows on Leirn,” I explained. “We’ve got ‘em too.” I could show you some hung on the tip of my tongue, something I deeply wanted to say but held myself back on.
“Oh, sweet! Anyway, yeah, that’s the usual thing, plus some typical family gathering and partying, but, uh… I don’t think anybody here could handle fireworks right now,” he continued, his expression trailing into something morose I couldn’t quite read. “But really, first and foremost, it’s about spending time with people you care about.”
“Guess we got that in common, then,” I added. “Where I’m from, it’s summer during the new year, so during the day, we spend time at beaches, usually, sometimes going on trips to somewhere cooler the day before. I’m not religious myself, but followers of Ralchi have a sort of traditional bonfire past sundown for the new year that most people recreate.”
“That’d be nice.”
“Yeah…” I mused. “Haven’t done anything like it in a while, and it’d be nice to spend a night around people I care about again…”
Gavin just looked at me.
“Hm?”
“Nothing,” he said, quickly perking up. “C’mon. We’ve got stuff to do today.”
I nodded, and he led us off down the road to the suburbia we’d been cleaning up the past few weeks. Some other workers from the camp had tagged along; from chats between them, the peacekeepers in charge had directed anyone wanting a lighter day for the new year down this road.
I jogged a bit forward to catch up to Gavin ahead, only slowing my pace as I stepped to his side. He glanced at me for only a moment before offering a hand to hold, which I took. I felt my tail beat against the asphalt below us a few times before I got my heart under control.
“What’re we doing today?” I asked after a comfortable silence.
“Cleanup, mostly. UN wants this place cleared of debris for rebuilding.”
“That sounds… impossible, honestly. There’s just so much wreckage,” I said, a sense of exhaustion already creeping into my voice before we even got to work. I sighed. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
He shrugged. “Even if it’s impossible, why not? Maybe we won’t clean out everything, but we’re still cleaning out something, and that’s better than nothing.”
“I just… I don’t know. How’s it better than nothing if we can barely make a dent in all the garbage?”
“Well, look at it this way. A hundred thousand people used to live here-” he waved his hand in a wide arc over the townscape around us- “-and maybe we’ll never see more than ten grand again. But so what? Even if we only get five thousand people back in these houses, that’s still infinitely better than zero. You know?”
“...Yeah. Yeah, I guess I know.”
Gavin smiled. It was a warm grin, an expression I never wanted to see end, and a smile spread across my own face. “You feeling better?”
“Definitely.”
He put his arm around my shoulder in a quick hug that I reciprocated. “Let’s get going, then.”
Some of the group hung back to direct the debris-moving vehicles down into the deeper wreckage, but most of us, Gavin and myself included, focused on the smaller things; as inconsequential as it was, the light labor and simple repetition of shoveling up garbage felt rather therapeutic.
It didn’t take too long before a sort of pessimism started again. By the time a few hours had passed, my arms ached, my legs felt sore, and while seeing what we’d cleaned was encouraging, it felt dwarfed in the face of the mountains of concrete dust and shattered debris that still coated the town. I sighed, taking a seat on some of the more solid debris, feeling my tail sweep up loose dust. Gavin glanced back at me before setting down his own tools and taking a seat as well.
“This sucks,” he said after a few seconds of odd, semi-comfortable-semi-awkward silence.
“Yeah.”
The human nodded as if we’d just made some as yet unknown revelation, then let out a short laugh. I did, too, my laugh lasting perhaps a bit too long before I felt something crumple and a few tears slipped out of my eyes.
“Still gotta do it, though, y’know?”
I glanced back at him. Afternoon light glinted off the tears forming in his own eyes as he looked at me with a small smile of his own; despite the wetness accumulating on his cheeks, he took the chance to wipe my eyes with warm, gentle hands. I pressed at the tears on his own face and he flinched back, muttering watch the fur under his breath. I snickered a bit at his reaction.
“Still gotta do it,” I said. He nodded in response.
“But you don’t gotta do everything.”
“Yeah. Something’s enough,” he said, his voice trailing off as he looked over the areas we’d cleaned from a tiny portion of the city sprawl. The sound of machinery and the occasional working song echoed off the concrete and asphalt as we watched our comrades work in silence.
Even under the cold of the late day, the something had kept me warm, and before long, we’d reconvened at the headquarters for dinner. Unlike the morning, however, Gavin went for the human food line, and I opted to follow him.
“...Can you even eat this stuff?” he asked, pointing at the (at this point, comedically predictable) ham-and-cheese sandwiches that the cooks were handing out. One of them mirrored his sentiment, cocking their head and looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
“I… think? We weren’t cured, so it won’t kill me. Probably.”
He shrugged. Two sandwiches came, and he rifled through the bag at his side for an anti-allergy injector. “Don’t be stupid,” he said, tucking it into his pocket for quick access.
“This whole idea is pretty stupid,” I commented.
“Be… only a little bit stupid.”
We laughed as we sat down. I set my sandwich down and watched Gavin pick up his and take a bite, staring at him in fascination before realizing that this probably wasn’t something to be particularly fascinated by. Still, it was a pretty novel experience, nonetheless; I didn’t eat meat, and for the majority of my time on Earth, any meal time was separated between those who did and those who didn’t.
I took a tentative bite of the sandwich, which, thinking about it in a vacuum, is a rather strange way to think about one’s dinner, but I was certainly nervous in the moment.
“It’s… interesting,” I said, both meat and dairy decidedly unfamiliar tastes to me. The most familiar part was the saltiness, but this felt less like the mild flavor of roasted root vegetables and more like shoving seawater into my mouth. The texture was perhaps the most familiar part, albeit still strange; it reminded me most of Rinsan fiberfruit, but its taste made it surprisingly hard to swallow.
“‘Interesting’ as in… ‘good’?” Gavin asked. “‘Interesting’ as in ‘you’re not experiencing anaphylactic shock right now’?”
“I wouldn’t say good, but I don’t think I’d say bad or trying to kill me either,” I commented after forcing down another bite.
“You don’t have to finish that, you know.”
“I’m committed," I retorted. It wasn’t inedible, at least, and the newness of the experience alone made it worth it.
After washing the flavor down with a copious amount of water, Gavin and I decided to get some rest a bit early; the winter sun had already crept low to the horizon and the work of the day set in. We could squeeze in a few hours of rest before seeing whatever festivities had been set up for the new year. My quarters weren’t too far from the canteen; if nothing else, the UN at least had the resources for all of us to get individual rooms, albeit small ones. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Some indistinct time passed before a small snore woke me up. This wasn’t uncommon, given the thin walls of the pre-fab shacks we slept in, but I craned my head up to a lump on the floor, rather than a particularly loud sleeper elsewhere waking me. It took me a second to resolve it in the dark, but their large stature and ruffled hair meant they were a human, and the guess came naturally: Gavin.
He’d brought his own blankets and made himself a nest on my floor. My half-asleep head thought it wouldn’t be too bad; I bundled up the pillows and blankets from my own bed and tossed them on the floor in a disorganized heap, even worse than Gavin’s pile, and dropped onto it. He shuffled, grunted a bit, and turned over on his side, putting a reassuring arm over my shoulders. We both fell back asleep in that comfort almost instantly.
What finally woke us was the sound outside. A general din of activity grew loud enough to make it into my room, and Gavin rose before me, shaking my shoulder to wake me up in turn.
“Think it’s almost time,” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stretched, standing on his feet and reaching the ceiling before offering his hand to pick me up. I took it and he led me by that hand forward, out to the people gathered.
The gathering wasn’t too big, but it was a hearty one, nonetheless. It was a mixture of humans, venlil, yotul, and the occasional other species assisting in the city, gathered in circles around campfires dotting the street and camp we lived in. I pointed one of the fires out; it was ringed by predominantly yotul, and I recognized the new year flame structure familiar to Leirn. One of the yotul there noticed us and waved us over to take seats with them.
Gavin sat near the fire, and I laid over him, my head resting in his lap as the small campfire burned in front of us. A quick glance around showed that we weren’t the only ones inching this close to the fire; my mind flashed back to memories of Leirn, of watching ceremonial bonfires burn and singing songs of home and history, even after the Federation arrived, and I felt myself start to tear up.
I don’t know if Gavin saw, or felt, or even knew at all, but I felt a strong hand rub the side of my head, scratch a bit behind my ears. I flinched a bit on instinct.
Gavin stammered a bit. “Uh- you- um, that alright?”
“...Yeah.”
He resumed, and I felt my eyes gradually flutter closed to the sound of the fire crackling and a breeze blowing, his other arm wrapping around me. The night should’ve been freezing, but I felt the warmth of something stronger than cold wind and a dark night.
There was a brief bit of pressure on the top of my head. I picked myself up and planted a kiss in return on his cheek, laying back in his lap, his arm tightening closer around me. Three short words were all that remained.
“I love you.”

I recently deleted all of my socials off my phone except for Reddit. I decided to keep it because I really never used Reddit before, only the occasional skim. My reasoning for deleting my other socials is because they were very toxic for me—body dysmorphia, toxic people, an unhealthy addiction to social media, you know the deal—but Reddit felt a lot more controlled in terms of what you’re shown in comparison to Instagram or Facebook.
Since I started using this website more, though, I’ve become increasingly frustrated with the general community and it actually really upsets me a lot. Personally I am mainly on music discussion subreddits, though I am in a few fandom-based subreddits as well, but I barely interact with those. But for every comment or post I see or make, there are so many goddamn people who must love oozing their own negativity and self-hatred for everyone else to see. I just had to leave a subreddit dedicated to music discussion yesterday because it’s like any time anyone tries to make a post encouraging discussion, the comments are actively working against actual discussion.
There was one post asking people to share albums they thought could be considered "universally liked." first comment I see is "there is no such thing as an album that's universally liked." (???? why are you here?????) OP responds with something like “yeah ofc I mean something as close to it as possible.” response to that: “then go to the pop charts.” huh?????? do you know where we are right now, like, are you serious????? and all the comments are calling the post “bait” and that the post was asking the impossible because there is no objective answer (when OP literally specified what you think. and my god it is NOT that serious anyway).
anyway that’s just a little anecdote about what triggered me to make this post, but I see it all. the. time. people are sooo far up their own asses and take everything way too seriously than can possibly be healthy for them lol. in the music reddit community specifically it’s just a constant dick-measuring contest. and it’s the same thing in some fandom subreddits too, i had to leave a couple a while ago for the same reasons.
I have a lot of fun on some of the subreddits, especially the ones dedicated to specific niche artists and their fanbases, but I also end up feeling miserable and upset half the time. I don’t want to delete it because the positives are nice, but it’s getting to a point where the negativity is so prevalent I can’t ignore it. I might have to delete this app too if it keeps on like this. I’m supposed to use this app for debriefing and having fun and instead I end up exhausted nearly every time I use it.

So I (32M) and my wife (34F) have been together 9 years now, rent a home and have 2 kids.
I work away through the week and come home on the weekends, due to where I work.
Anyway to cut out mindless filler, I saw a message on her Apple Watch pop up where her and her friends husband were talking about setting up a 3 way and potentially all 3 of them having this on the regular. Also with her friends husband asking her what her reaction would be if he accidentally sent her nude. She didn’t seem phased by this message at all. She’s also been saying about sending a video of my wife and his wife making out and joked it’d be funny if he joined in.
I know I may just be overthinking it or overeating but I feel like this really oversteps boundaries. I would not and never had conversations like this with other females.
I just feel so betrayed, she hasn’t shown any sexual attraction to me in a year but here she is doing it with her friends husband.
To add her friend is fully aware and in on this as well.
Opinions, thoughts, advice?

Last night I was supposed to start my first night of Gonal for this cycle (I’ve done two rounds before so used to process). I opened the brand new box to get everything prepped only to find a blue piece of plastic floating in the liquid (as you know Gonal pens don’t have blue plastic - only a gray syringe and clear plastic). WHAT!? I thought I was doing everything right before with only checking my boxes when received, never thought of something like this!
I immediately called Freedom and they told me it’s a manufacturers defect and to not use for potential risk of contamination. It was 8pm at night on a Friday and they had no way of getting me a new pen — the closest pharmacy is 2 states away and over four hours away driving each way and didn’t open until 10am Saturday. They also couldn’t guarantee I could get a replacement there until they spoke with them. I called my doc who might be the patient man to exist ever and he said “don’t worry just come to the office first thing in AM and there is a close alternate medication we can give you that we should have on hand if you can’t get Gonal as the last resort. Doubtful we have a new unused Gonal pen donated, but I won’t know until I get in tomorrow AM.”
The pharmacy meanwhile was working on getting me a pen through UPS Concierge where they basically have a driver pick it up, put it on the next plane out and then deliver to you - but this couldn’t be guaranteed as the pharmacy concierge team who handles this left for the night already and didn’t open again until 9am and wasn’t sure how many flights go out on a Saturday (shout out to the pharmacists at FF who stayed on the phone with me for an hour searching every pharmacy in a 10 state radius and every option they had available).
I get to my clinic this morning and they had just received an unopened Gonal pen via donation. THANK YOU TO WHOEVER YOU ARE! I seriously almost cried in the office. 🫶🏼
Just a friendly reminder to donate your unopened meds because you never know what can happen and if someone wouldn’t have, I’d have to change my protocol mid-cycle with a med I’ve never used previously and wasn’t part of the original plan for a reason. Also - CHECK YOUR MEDS WHEN YOU GET THEM! The pharmacist said they’ve seen this a lot recently with Ovidrel, but she was shocked to hear it happened with Gonal. I have to file a report on Monday with the manufacturer.
Thank you again whoever you are!

TLdr; I just lost my dearest baby of 4 and a half years old, Kiwi 🦜 😭😪 I don't usually post online but the need to mourn this beautiful soul and especially to warn lovebird owners about the hiden dangers to avoid at all times urged me to do so today.
Cause of death (I assume) was likely due to toxicity from either cleaners or something he ate. I truly wish someone had taught the below advice, whether it's the breeder or the vet but they don't have time or care enough sadly. He was perfectly healthy and showed no apparent signs of sickness until Saturday May 18th when he suddenly became lethargic, stopped moving and became sleepy, so we rushed him immediately to the emergency vet where he was placed in an oxygen tank (plastic cage) and passed away shortly after, breaking our hearts until this day.
At first, my wife thought she had accidentally broken his wing as he was playing with two other lovies around her as she did some Yoga exercises... but my belief is that it likely due to ingesting something toxic or Teflon poisoning.
An Important Word of Caution to Everyone here and other forums:

1. Throw away all your Teflon-coated pans or do not use them or cook at all with your birds on your shoulders as we used to do with ours. I'm not sure that's what killed my baby but It's the number one cause along with a bad seed/millet diet.
   
2. Also, you should be extremely careful when cleaning, mopping the house to lock them in a seperate room that is well ventilated during this time as their respiratory system is extremely sensitive to any scent, spray, perfume, Lysol etc. Instead use vinegar to clean your floors/surfaces vs chlorine or other chemicals.
   
3. Their diet should consist of mainly fruits, pellets (ie: Lafeber or Hagen Tropican brand granules) and a tiny portion of millet and seeds (10-20%). I have a few hand raised peach faced lovies who eat apples (no seeds), dates, figs, berries, grapes and a bit of 🍉 watermelon.
   
4. Be careful around 🚪 doors as they love to stay on top of the edges and many fatal accidents have been known to happen so please keep an eye as you open and close your doors if your birds are free roaming around the house all day like ours.
   
5. Also ALWAYS check your clothing, coats, hoodies, shoulders and hats/head before walking outside as we've also lost another magnificent birdie 🤕 in the winter due to high winds as she hid in my son's hoodie and got disoriented sadly last year.
   
6. Check for any metallic toys, bells, in and outside their cages and remove them for most metals are toxic to them unless it's stainless steel.
   
7. Do not allow them into cupboards, mine used to go in and still try, with all kinds of canned food and they'd try to chew on any paper or cardboard packaging in there... I'd shooo them away and installed hooked locks on sll my cupboards cause these guys are extremely smart and sneaky.
   

These wonderful cuddly birds are so loving and caring to us that we often they aren't humans and we get attached to them and vice versa without paying attention to the above at all times.
It is imperative that we all share this crucial information around to avoid losing these big hearted cuddly birds and end up in a depressive state for a while.
I used to do a ton of reading online and knew all of these dangers, and same with all of my family however, not everyone exercised as much caution as I would and sadly we lost our first and most loving dearest friend...

My Brother in-law (bil) passed away May 26 so let just say that this last week sucked.
Everything started at about 7:00am last Saturday. This was the first weekend after school was out and the dogs bladder didn’t get the message so she woke up my son. My phone rings about that time and it is my MIL, odd enough but I answer. She starts by telling me my BIL had a medical emergency and it doesn’t look good. I wake my wife and tell her to get dressed while asking the normal questions what happened are they taking him to the hospital which hospital ect. She answers Local hospital in the Er don’t know what happened and the Dr says it doesn’t look good. I gave the general ok bye and hang up.
Now this is a side note but my wife and I both work in the hospital she an RN and I am a Biomed. So we both know how a hospital handles pt stable, unstable, or deceased.
Back to the story the in-laws all live roughly 1hr away. I still have 2 kids that are fast asleep 10f and 15f and they are notoriously slow getting up. I look at the 17 year old and tell him to finish getting dressed he needs to take his mom to the hospital in the in-laws home town. My thinking was if she hurries at worst and her brothers dies she will get to see him after he was made presentable by the hospital staff and my boy could be ushered to a waiting room until everything was done.
Do I trust my kids to stay home alone. Yes. Do I trust my kids to stay home alone in an emotionally charged situation explitive no there would be blood. The 15f mood/hormones create such a rollercoaster that I get whiplash just being in the room with her on a normal day.
So I let the girls sleep for a bit and keep in contact with my wife while they drive down. They let me know that she talked to her mom and that instead of the hospital they need to go to BIL house. He is a bachelor so no wife or kids so no good reason to be going to his house. They get there and find out that the BIL was never at the hospital he died in his house at 46. I am still at home with the girls and after finding out ask if my wife wants me to bring the girls down. I was told no so I spend the day comforting them here while my wife and son are with her family.
Arrangements are made obituary comes out and my wife and kids are listed but I am not. Mil and Fil’s in-laws are listed but my wife is not shown to be married. I have been married to her for 18 years. My Mil is pretty petty and would do something like this for spite
So am I the asshole for having my feelings hurt and looking to make this an issue with my wife since it is her parents when she get back home from work next week. I already feel like one for getting my son in the mess to start with.

I (27F) and my bf (28m) have been dating for over a year and live together. We have a beautiful relationship and we are compatible in 99% of things. Our values align, we share a great sense of humor, we care about and love each other so much, it’s obvious in any room we walk in and when we are behind closed doors. We are always challenging each other to be better humans.
The one issue we have is a disagreement on boundaries with opposite sex friends. It’s been an ongoing disagreement and has been the foundation of every single fight and argument we’ve had. We seriously do not fight about anything else.
I have set very clear boundaries with my male friends, mostly indirectly. I don’t speak with them much one on one and i am not closer to them than i am to my female friends. We don’t have inappropriate inside jokes and i never hang out with them one on one and im happy with those boundaries with my friends.
My bf in the other hand has hardly any boundaries with his opposite sex friend and most of his close friends are women. He has several group chats with like 2 other women that are named a bit weird names like “(girl’s name’s) hubbies” - this is a group chat of my bf, a girl he’s friends with since college and pursued for a bit, and another male, gay friend. He is part of 3-4 other groups similar to that with only women though with similar group names.
They have history to speak a lot about sex and the details of dating. Him and i disagree, but imo, there have been some flirty interactions between a couple of them before and after we started dating. History of sending memes about sex to each other. One of the women recently caused a very weird issue on social media (followed, unfollowed me, blocked me and my bf several times, liked and unliked my posts, etc. was just acting very strange mostly towards my social media accounts)
I guess what im trying to figure out is should i feel ok with this? Should I ask him to make boundaries and change these friendships a bit? He always tells me that he doesn’t want to change his friendships and feel like his freedom is being taken away. That’s not what I want though. I just want to feel comfortable in the relationship and not worry about the next inappropriate interaction he has with his female friends or the next time one of them try to initiate an inappropriate interaction with him. He doesn’t agree that is the case. His definition of inappropriate is way different than mine.
I don’t want him to isolate himself. Most of his friends are females. It’s just really beginning to bother me a lot. We’ve almost broken up a couple times over these arguments of boundaries with friends and how it bothers me. I’m scared to bring it up at this point because like i said, the rest of our relationship is so beautiful. Should i suck it up and bottle this up?

I was coming out of a 2 year relationship that just wasn't a good fit for me so I ended it and wanted to move on with life but wasn't in a rush to find "the one" .. so one day I go into the bar with a buddy, where my mom was the kitchen manager. When I started coming in this beautiful woman who was super cool, would flirt, make comments to my mom about how she was going to marry me. She even would put Hubband on my bar tab as my name lol and I just kinda shrugged it off. She asked me to go out after a few months later. I told her no I was kinda dating other women and jokingly (but not really) just said you are too much for me. I tend to watch and observe people for awhile just so I can be sure they are who they say they are and to get a feel their character for red flags. I am a Scorpio lol what can I say. Truth be told I didn't hear good things about her from really anyone, especially my mom. Infact my mom told her to stay away from me and warned me about her. We became friends and she would always explain how everyone just didn't like her, misunderstood her, or was jealous of her. After I got to know her I was falling in love with her, like she was made for me, we had the same values and morals, likes and dislikes. After dating and being together for about a month or so her phone rang while we were in a movie with her daughter and was told her dad passed away from a massive heart attack. I felt so bad for her knowing the rough history with her dad ( just like my story. ) but the last few years were a lot better and became pretty close. I was there for her and held her for weeks when she was sobbing and did everything for her, including driving her places. At this point I knew she had bad anxiety for the last 10 years or so. Slowly her grief started to diminish a little bit and things were trending up, although her rage and arguments started mostly when she was drinking but I thought well its due to her loss and no matter what I will be there for her and do my best to support her although at times it was frustrating and hard to do. We decided to get married the following February, at this point I was head over heals for her and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. So from here her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Let me explain something. My wifes main support person her whole life, her best friend the person that not only could but would set her straight and tell it like it is. Her mother passed away on july 22nd extremely fast and really unexpected due to the good prognosis from the doctors thats what everyone had thought. So now it was back to ok .. get into protection mode and prepare to support my wife. To my surprise, my wife she wasn't as outwardly upset as when her dad passed away. Thats when I knew that this has undoubtedly crushed, devastated her soul. I am sure that's a vast understatement. Our relationship since then hasn't been the same. She will go into rages that are scary to be on the receiving end of. The name calling, being blamed for all her problems in life, telling me I am worthless, not her equal, that all her other relationships the men were better than me, attacking my manhood, any kind of insecurity I have told her about when trying to be vulnerable will get thrown in my face and used as ammo. Along with any and all arguments from 2 years ago, my past relationships mistakes that I have made, and how she is a prized possession and deserves everything she wants from a man, also that I don't love her as good as other men did and how boring I am because I dont like to sit in a bar get drunk everyday so I am a stick in the mud and dragging her life down and she can do better and be with somone who is going to make her happy. Really anything in her rage is fair game and it got to the point when this happens she is unreasonable, you can't calm her down it will make it worse. She has hit me, and spit a mouth full of chewed food in my face. The things being screamed in my face is disgusting. So I leave not willing to be treated that way and go stay with my cousin for a bit to let her cool off, me cool off and let cooler minds prevail and come back. This has now been the cycle for the last year. The day after Christmas this year it happened again and it was over her preception of something... I was cast away for a month. Come to find out she struck up a relationship with an ex and before I came back deleted text and is telling me half truths about it while blaming me for her indiscretion, saying it was my fault, and had began bashing me to anyone who will listen to her. We agreed to work it out because we love and want to be together and get help for the issues we are having, I made some major changes that she asked for and I followed through and delivered for her. She lost her insurance for a few months and couldn't get her colonopin for anxiety so she had been getting some from her sister to get her by, finally her insurance is back and she goes to her primary doctor to get another prescription and her doc asked if I test you will it be in your system? Whatever she said made her primary tell her she wasn't getting it and she thought my wife was at risk for suicide and she was abusing the meds. She was referred to a psychiatrist and diagnosed with BPD and PTSD due to childhood trauma. She spent the last month on different meds and the behavior issues started up again slowly. At this point I can tell when she is on the verge of a rage filled attack I just don't know when it's going to come. Well it did last Tuesday and it was worse yet, and of course she was drinking. I have researched BPD not knowing a lot and boy it don't look good. I love her and don't want to abandoned her. But it doesn't look good. I believe she also has traits of NPD. I want it to work but I can't keep on with someone who treats me like this. My self esteem is down, she accuses me of having a mental illness and when I explained how I feel she says I am always playing a victim. She makes me question reality and I feel I am going crazy. Just slamming me to everyone who will listen .. for no reason I just dont get it. Anytime she drinks I get filled with anxiety wondering is this the day for a rage filled blow out ? I can't have friends, or my family in my life. I do love my wife. Outside of the major blow ups we are great. When the rages happen I don't know who that person is.