For 16 years my mil an oldest sil have been awful, after dealing with it for so long I developed ptsd from their treatment. I been NC since April and it is absolutely wonderful, I juss wanna talk about some of the things they've done.
After the birth of my first daughter mil an fil were telling bf to not sign the birth certificate, and the nurses were giving me such a hard time for him to sign the paperwork. So when he came to the hospital after work I told him they wanted him to sign the papers he was refusing to go get them from the desk an I just had a c section, so I got mad and walked down there and got the stuff from them an took it back to him he did sign but mil an fil were not happy... it has always been difficult with husband until recently believing me about how awful his mother is to me he didn't wanna deal with any of it an basically wanted me to take their torture which the end result was my mental health, makes me really upset cuz I could of been smarter and just left an maybe today I would be able to go into a large crowd of people without feeling scared an panicking. I can barely go into stores now. But anyway....
Bf was giving me money to help buy baby stuff it was 100 every week, he was also giving mil 400 a week. Mil an sil cornered me and threw a fit about he was giving me to much money. Which i find funny bc he was literally giving her a lot of money, I was also on government assistance for like 3 months an she said bf was entitled to half of that money.
Mil put her electric in bfs name (he still lived there) she let the bill go up to over 2000 dollars and didn't pay it off till he gave her problems cuz they were sayin his wages were gonna be attached, we had juss gotten our first apartment when they threatened to attach his wages. She lied to him about paying it she did some but not all and he still gets letters about that bill.
During the first couple weeks at our new apartment mil would bring a plate of food for just bf an would give me dirty looks while he was eating it 🤣
Now it gets interesting...
Fast forward to our second child mil stated to both of us the baby wasn't his but was my brother's 🙄 that was the first time she did anything Infront of him an he threw a fit after that its all been backhanded she'd do shit when he wasn't in the room.
I had gotten a tattoo on the side of my neck just a lil star and she said only trashy people do that, but it was ok sil got 2 on both sides of her neck.
Mil sil and sils friend came to our wedding in pajamas it was at the courthouse but everyone was dressed up
Mil took both bottom tiers of my wedding cake my friend made for me and my mom had to fight her for the top of it. She had also stole my first babyshower cake I didn't even get a piece
Sometimes on the weekends we would drink beers an have people over, sometimes sil would come over and few times she'd bring her friend and their mutual friend would come now I knew right away they did this on purpose and it was absolutely intentional they had this girl flirt with husband I over heard this girl say something about how her crotch would get so wet and I went off it caused a big fight and when I told that girl we were married she acted shocked an left immediately never saw her again.
Mil brought me pants of this really really big lady we all knew and said these should fit u
This one is the beginning of the end my father passed away and a month after was my youngest bday husband was outside cookin on the grill and mil and fil came in an mil starting making jokes about funerals even fil told her thats fked up. My mom went home later in tears. A few months later after that we learned fil had the same cancer my dad passed of.
Youngest sil overdosed 2 years ago and is bedridden now and mil takes care of her and her 3 kids 2 months before that happened we were all sitting at my kitchen table and mil told everyone idc what kind of drugs you do just don't get caught with them... I thought wow this is insane shit.
In February of this year I had gotten a fb message from someone idk and they were sayin all these things that would definitely make me break up with husband, in the messages they had given their self away sayin only things mil would of known. There was a huge argument and mil ended up writing husband f you and your family. Then all of a sudden sils friend gets a job at husband's shop an works with him... husband an I sat down and were talkin about how that whole thing was a big plan to get us to break up and sils friend to weasel her way into husband's life.
There has been so much more but those r the things that stay vividly in my mind. After the whole fb thing I was done an the last time mil popped up at our home an i had a panic attack she was told to not come here anymore of course she knows nothing and has done nothing wrong 🙄 an is currently telling people she doesn't know what's going on... she has to tell people that so she doesn't look like the bad guy cuz she has talked so much trash about me to everyone that they would know. She even sent her nephew to tell husband to call his mom 🙄 he never did... he texted her happy mother's day and she said to tell me the same from her I'm at the point I don't want to hear from her, don't wanna hear her name, I wanna forget what she looks like.
I forgot to mention they were all on m3th an that just amplified their stupidness which is probably why they thought that fb idea was the plan to finally get husband an I apart 😆 oldest sil is really bad on that stuff now an her life is Fallin apart everyone says she is goin down the same path as youngest sil but all they do is watch and talk about it.
If you made it thus far thanks for reading ❤️

Hey everyone, it’s Andrei, from Inspo Stories!
I love to do deep researches and interviews with successful founders and their businesses on how they got started
Today, I have a super inspiring study on Typefully Bootstrapped Saas: From $0 to $113K MRR

How was the idea born?

Typefully exists now because Fabrizio (co-founder) wanted a tool to write twitter Threads. So he started build one 4+ years ago

How the cofounders met?

They met through Twitter in 2011. They were part of the same bubble of Italian teenagers interested in tech (specifically Apple at the time). They had tons of micro-interactions throughout the years via Twitter and were both passioned about apps and great UX.
Fabrizio reach out to Francesco about building a camera app for iOS. He took the offer but, after a short collab, they dropped the project. Nothing came out of it in the end. You can consider it our first 'failure'
After that, they kept following and interacting with each other for months.
At some point in 2015, Fabrizio tweeted about a concept of a Mac app wrapping Inbox by Gmail and Francesco DM’d him a prototype after a few hours.
That project was Bboxysuite, their first successful project together. They sold it with a good exit🎉 After that, they kept working together on bigger and bigger projects.

Getting first 1000 users in one day

Launch day: 16k page visits, 1,432 Signups, $155 Revenue
The traffic breakdown reveals what happened:

• Hacker News: 6.3k
• Twitter: 2.1k
• ProductHunt: 1.9k

And they also managed to hit the Hacker News frontpage.
The perfect formula was:

• interesting product
• no-bullshit title
• sparking a controversial discussion in the comments.

When it comes to Twitter, we have been building a following there for some time, so it was a matter of publishing the right tweet, at the right time, and getting the right people to retweet it
For Product Hunt, we partnered with our friend Chris. His followers got a notification when he hunted us, but we also did our part and emailed our lists. That helped to get fast on the front page and to kickstart the discussion

How got to the HackerNews front page three times in a row

What's the point, though? Those articles took me 1-2 hours to write and resulted in 40k+ visits to this blog, hundreds of signups for Typefully and Mailbrew, and many Twitter followers

1. "Select a topic. HN is a community of entrepreneurial hackers, naturally curious about company building, startups, programming, technical topics, and understanding the world. Writing about those topics will help but is not required. In fact, you can write about anything as long as your writing is intellectually honest, in-depth, and does not try to sell something."
2. "Pick the right title. The title should describe exactly what the post is about. No marketing is allowed. Think of the title more as a commit message than a headline."
3. "Don't try to outsmart HN readers. You can safely assume that the average HN reader is smarter than you. They have a radar for bullshit. You are either telling a story, describing a problem, showing something you built, or not getting to the front page. This should influence your title and style of writing. Notice in the titles above and in my writing how I am simply describing my experience, not trying to teach anything."
4. "Be responsive in the comments. Engaging with people in the comments is the funniest part of the front-page experience. I usually write in a void and getting the diverse feedback that HN delivers is a ton of fun. I believe starting a discussion is also key in getting people to click and upvote your post. I don't take comments too seriously or personally. While the average HN reader may be smarter than me, there is a lot of variance."
5. "Dance like nobody's watching. I write for myself, and when I get a good feeling about a post, I submit it, trying not to overthink it."

Read the full article here
We put a 4 hours into this research and it’s covering mostly all aspects:

• Free to Paid conversions improvement hack
• 30 days challenge, Black Friday & Twitter Growth Strategies
• 100k MRR SaaS Tech stack Detailed, $3K/m costs
• Hiring
• Twitter is the ultimate opportunity finder

This story is personally inspiring me, I love growth and building profitable businesses, so I hope you will feel the same energy from it!

In 2010, I was facing felony charges for distribution of drugs. I was a drug addict. Hook line and sinker. But never admitted that to myself. My drug of choice? Anything I could get my hands on. Cocaine, ecstasy, weed, Xanax, Oxycontin, ciggys, alcohol, ativan, seroquil, spice, mushrooms.. You name it.
Desperately wanting to avoid prison time, I did whatever I could to turn my life around. The potential pain in carrying on was too great to tolerate. This was my rock bottom.
I enrolled in college, started working out every day, got rid of any "friends" that wanted to continue that lifestyle.
And quitting my daily drug use?
It wasn't a factor. I was too scared. I was willing to do anything to escape my prison sentence so I dropped them all without looking back. I was lucky. Lucky I had hit rock bottom. Lucky that everything collapsed around me. I needed a push and this was it.
Apparently the judge saw that I was making real change and I was able to avoid prison. I was slapped with a couple of felonies, fines, and drug and rehab classes.
Having felonies on my record was hard. I couldn't get a decent job. Even Walmart was excited to hire me, but then rejected me because of my record. I knew that I had turned a new leaf. I just needed someone to see that I was changed now.
Luckily, I found a family that needed help with their special needs kid.
I worked for them for long enough to get my felonies reduced and expunged off my record.
When hard drugs turn into soft drugs.
I thought I was "drug free" because I had stopped all illegal drugs. But soon I found myself consuming copious amounts of caffeine in order to lose weight and get "Jacked". You see, I found a passion for natural bodybuilding and Jiu-Jitsu around 2011.
I consumed endless content on how to lose body fat so I could finally get a six pack. A lot of YouTubers at the time were promoting pre-workouts like Jack3d. Which also had another stimulant called 1,3 dimethylamylamine - or DMAA. Which was banned after it had become known to be problematic.
So there I was, taking Jack3d, working out, and trying to figure out how to get a six pack. I hired the same coaches that my favorite YouTuber Matt Ogus had. 3DMuscleJourney. I got very serious with Diet and training.
When I started with 3DMuscleJourney in 2012, I had been working out for a solid year. I had gotten down to 195lbs from 215. Not a huge difference. And I had put on a good amount of Muscle in that time.
3DMuscleJourney taught me and guided me on how to train effectively while dieting and how to diet efficiently by tracking macros. But my preworkout and caffeine use had spiked up 1,500mg a day. I used caffeine as a substitute for food. After 12 weeks, I was down to 160lbs.
I was fit by any person's definition. My new found glory would soon collapse as my caffeine and DMAA use caught up to me. I started having bad shoulder pain, my joints were achy and cracky, popping every time I moved. I started stretching and doing mobility exercises but the pain in my body only got worse. I was unable to sleep. I would have fits of rage followed by lows of doubt and depression.
Then, I broke. I was no longer able to exercise because of the pain. I started eating more to see if it would help my joints. I quickly gained 30lbs. Probably within only a few weeks. I ended my coaching and started to slip back towards the abyss
That's when I figured out that caffeine and DMAA were both a huge problem.
I had been consuming caffeine my whole life. But never thought twice about it. It was a legal substance that a kid could go buy in a vending machine. How bad could it be? Broken, I decided to quit.
I was quickly able to cut out DMAA. But every attempt at quitting caffeine left me in so much pain that I would quickly rationalize going back to it. I never made it past two weeks.
Why was this harder than quitting all of those harder drugs?
I guess decades of using a softer drug still carves out some pretty steep ravines in your reward pathway. Caffeine was my last vice. Or so I thought..
I read the book "Caffeine Blues". This book explained that caffeine is not healthy in any way. It is a stimulant that causes your body to break down over time just like any drug. The book outlined some of the negatives associated with caffeine.

• Poor sleep, even if you didn't consume caffeine close to bedtime
• Joint pain from increased muscle tension.
• Poor vitamin and mineral absorption.
• Energy crashes and mood swings.
• Irritability.
• Psychosis.
• Masking negatives of caffeine with drugs and alcohol.

The list goes on. This was crazy. The book recommended tapering off of caffeine. While I was able to wean down to 300-600 most days. I couldn't get myself to fully commit. I started to look for some help.
Maybe I needed something to give me energy and focus while I quit?
I started to look at "Nootropics" to help me focus. I tried a large variety of them.

• Noopept
• Modafinil
• Piracetam
• Aniracetam
• L-Theanine
• Phenibu
• Kratom
• Nicotine
• A large variety of other supplements.

Non of this helped me quit caffeine. I soon realized that these legal "Performance enhancers" were just drugs. With their own highs and lows. And negative effects over time. I ended up quitting all of this after a year.
It was back to the drawing board.
Around the end of 2015, I ended up doing a 3 month or so long caffeine taper. Using caffeine powder and a mg scale I bought off Amazon. The plan was slow and steady. 1-2mg per day. I didn't want to notice my caffeine levels were dropping. After about a month under 25mg, I started feeling great.
My joints felt great, Arizona heat was more comfortable, I craved healthy food and exercise, I slept like a baby, the list goes on. I had raised my testosterone levels from 320ng/dL to 575ng/dL.
But then, just as I finally let go of caffeine. There was a surprise. A curve ball that would change my life forever.
The boy who lived...
My first child was to be born. The 24 hours in the hospital was an introduction to the lack of sleep I would face over the next few years. I caved..
One or two cups of coffee later, my son was born, and a new cycle of baby wake me up > being tired > caffeine to get me through the day > poor quality sleep > baby wake me up had begun.
I got got even more dependent on caffeine. I could no longer just take a nap whenever I wanted. I was a mess. Feeling like shit, with high stress, I also started drinking alcohol and smoking weed again. My testosterone levels plummeted down to 275ng/dL.
Great move dad..
I wanted to get healthy again. I started reading books about health, nutrition, meditation, etc. I wanted to attack this problem from multiple angles. I started eating a plant-based diet, meditating, exercising, taking ice baths, etc. I quit alcohol and weed again. Tapering my caffeine down below 100mg again.
I was starting to feel better. Even got my testosterone levels all the way up to 575ng/D
The girl who lived..
Sorry about the Harry Potter references...
Just when I thought it was over, another curve ball to my health goals. Something that would start the lack of sleep cycle all over again.
You guessed it.. another child! This time, there was a baby girl in my house. This new baby came with new challenges. Our daughter was born with cataracts. She had to have surgery at around 3 months old to get them removed. So not only did we have to deal with the lack of sleep stress again, and boy did she excel in that area, we had to deal with putting contacts in a baby...
Imagine a grown man squeezing their fist closed. And you have to delicately open up their fist, and place a sticky note on their palm without bending the paper. And the grown man is also having a seizure at the same time. Also, you haven't slept a quality night of sleep for weeks.
Needless to say, but I'm going to say it, our stress levels shot through the roof. We had new worries and fears about our daughter's condition and the caffeine cycle ramped back up again. All while trying to focus on my new career in IT and raising our other child.
Testosterone Replacement Therapy
I think sometime early 2023, a friend told me he was on Testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). I knew my low test levels were due to stress, caffeine use, lack of sleep, belly fat, poor eating habits, etc. But I was desperate for some edge that would help me finally quit caffeine and get healthy again.
I thought, if I can use Testosterone to help me get healthy, then I can get off of it later and not suffer any consequences.
Boy was I wrong
TRT did give me more drive and gusto to get stuff done. It also made me work harder than my body wanted. I started getting more back pain from harder weightlifting session, I actually started doing more caffeine, and even weed again. I was like 6 years clean from weed at this point.
This made me over confident. Like I could handle anything, which led to poor decisions. I felt like a horny teenager and it made it hard to focus. I started masturbating furiously..
After 4 months stabbing myself in the ass, and draining my life essence, I decided to quit TRT cold turkey. I knew this wasn't what I needed.
Withdrawals from TRT were bearable. I had waves of depression, lack of energy, etc. But I got through it. I'll probably get my levels tested again soon. As I write this, I have been off of TRT for 12 months now.
I leaned more heavily on caffeine while I was coming off of TRT. My current levels are around 400mg per day. But tapering off is my primary focus. Or maybe I should try cold turkey again? Not sure how I can afford to be a useless zombie for weeks while I have a full time job and 2 kids to look after.
"Semen retention" and NoFap
For years, I had made half ass attempts at doing No Fap and quitting porn. The benefits claimed by people who have tried it are:

• Increased energy
• Vigor
• Willpower
• Can function on less sleep
• Increased confidenc
• Better focus and concentration
• Muscle growth
• Increased Libido

I started to read some books about the topic. This big two were "Your Brain on Porn" and "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow". These books took a more Science-based approach. There were also a couple books that were a little off tilt such as "Bliss of the Celibate" and "Why You Should Never Masturbate". These books included a lot of hokey about chakras and religion.
I never made it passed two weeks.
After TRT, I decided to give it a real go. NoFap/ Semen retention felt like my final try at getting an "edge". I lasted over a month. Just around the 3 week mark, I had felt the same benefits of TRT without all of the negatives. I also learned, that you have to be all in.
Any sexual thoughts had to be banished. Just think of something else. If you entertain lust at all, you will fail. Stay off social media where you may run into soft porn, which can start the spiral that leads you to porn, etc.
I was able to control my caffeine intake finally, my sleep was better, my wife was more attracted to me, I was more patient with the kids. I finally found the answer.
But then, I relapsed. And lost sight of the benefits. I had forgotten.
Slowly everything started slipping again. With small nofap stints here and there never lasting more than two weeks.
As I write this, I am realizing that caffeine was never my problem. It was a symptom of something else. I am currently on day 6 of retention and have made it my number one priority again. I need to remember this. I need my edge back.
The journey continues..
Life is full of ups and downs. And decisions you make (good or bad) compound over time. I know all of the positive effort, and commitment to personal development has paid off over time. Even though it may have been slower than I had hoped.
This story leaves out a lot. But I'd love to have a conversation with anyone who has had similar struggles. I have been going at this alone. I can only imagine how much more growth there can be surrounding yourself with like-minded individual
Ta Ta for Now.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering I have a post about it, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

People always tend to see something in other people that isn't there. This is called cognitive bias. In their minds, they associate the horrible situation that happened with the suspect, and with everything the media is saying. A picture of guilt follows. He must be guilty. I mean.. it's already gotten to the point where statements like: "Look at his eyes, pure evil!", "he doesn't even look innocent!" Don't you think that people would also see something in you where they point the finger at you and think you're guilty?
Example courtroom. Bryan is sitting in the courtroom. He is being represented. He is present and listening. What else is he supposed to do? I mean, this isn't a cinema event where he's going through all kinds of emotional rollercoasters. Even if he were in tears, people would point the finger at him and he would be considered guilty. Because he's just acting it.
Everyone has their own body language. You can't always project your expectations/ideas of what you think is right and/or more appropriate onto other people, you can't do that. He's a suspect in a murder case.
I would also like to say something about Bryan's alibi. Do you have an alibi every day, every time? A watertight alibi? If Bryan is innocent, there is a possibility that the alibi is the truth. I mean, he can't be clairvoyant and think to himself: "Oh, a horrible murder is going to happen tonight and if I don't get myself a watertight alibi right now, I'll be suspected and find myself in prison." Even if he had a better alibi, people would still point the finger at him, he would be considered guilty and they say: He was SO clever!
Imagine you like driving through the night/early in the morning. And sometimes you take beautiful pictures. On the day/time when a horrible murder takes place, you are on the road again. And a short time later.. you find yourself in prison and they want to execute you for something you didn't do.
I don't know about you, but I personally can't think of a suitable adjective to describe how sad, frightening and terrible I find it at the same time.

Actually he is my uncle but he has been the father figure since I was around 10. I'm 23 now.
So I did something (cooked some onion) and he commented about how "that's not how it's done". I thought it was (mistakenly so) so I said "it is done like this". He repeats himself and so do I two or three times, after which he was getting visibly angry. Just his face, he was actually containing it, which was apparent.
But this was enough to trigger me (if you wish to know why this was triggering I have a post about it, trigger warning for physical violence and humiliation). He started to leave after doing some explaining and when he was walking away I said smt like "you're already getting crazy!" (Which in our language sounds kinda worse but idk how to translate) Meaning the visible anger on his face that triggered me was overreacting to me just contradicting him. Supposedly, me just bluntly replying "yes it's done like this" is provocative.
Anyways after hearing that he comes back and gets in my face. He wasn't going to hit me, that's "in the past", but he feinted and I turned my head, expecting a hit. Somehow we ended up talking for like two hours, there were many points we both wanted to get across to the other and I doubt there was much mutual understanding , but what's relevant to this post is that he made it known that things would be "worse" if I ever spoke to him like that. That he would beat me if I called him an idiot.
He showed me how he has been containing himself all this time, and that even know after saying you're going crazy he didn't hit me. That's true.
He said he really hates being offended. He told me that one time when he asked a worker that was doing stuff in our house for something, the dude just turned his back to him and my dad screamed so loudly the dude was startled. Like did a little jump.
I'm like: you think that's good for your health? You've been containing your temper lately, you think it's good? Repressing it even further will only make it worse in the long run and you will stop being so effective at restraining yourself when you want to. He seems to think he knows a thing or two about psychology so he replied with condescension at my suggestion that he needs to fix the anger issues instead of just controlling himself when they arise. Whatever.
It sucks. What's even worse is that most lf the time he is normal. Like 999/1000 times. Our baseline is good terms right now. But my subconscious still remembers, I haven't unpacked all those things yet. I don't like knowing that my father would beat me up for offending him. I don't like not saying something to him (even if it is calling him stupid) only because of fear of physical responses.
I told him many things, like how it sucks fearing my own father and he said "don't provoque me then".I painted a hypothetical situation in which I called him an idiot to ask him what would happen if he didn't react in an aggressive/violent manner, he replied and finished with "but better never call me that". I was like "wouldn't you stop to think why would your son call you that? Or why I said you were getting crazy?" And whatever the fuck his reply was to that it probably boiled down to "you have no business saying those things". Sure, calling someone an idiot isn't good. Focus on that.
I wonder what I'll do when I get stronger than him. I'd be so tempted to start something just to show him he can't overpower me anymore. I wouldn't even hit him, just restrain him and faking a hit just so he sees what it feels like. Even then, I don't think it compares to an adult doing that to a kid or teenager. He has heart issues though, and as much as I wish for payback, I feel like his rage would be so much worse after being restrained that his heart could worsen (also I understand revenge makes no real sense, forgive them Father for they not what they do, if he could understand he would).
Anyway. We hadn't had an altercation like this in a while, and it's the first time I actually said something like that to him. He won't hit me if I don't insult him. But his intimidating nature is still present at times, for example when I don't listen to him and stubbornly oppose him (it happens sometimes but I only with him, surprised?) And knowing he can get like violent or just verbally aggressive doesn't make the "good times" worth it. He is a "good charismatic person" basically all the time except when these things happen. But I'm at odds with the fact that if I ever fail to contain my subconscious resentment to him and call him something (motherfucker, idiot, stupid high-iq but low-eq controlling dumbfuck) I'll get beat up. I understand that healing is on me to stop walking on eggshells when he is around, but I'm starting to dislike him on a more conscious level now. Which is confusing too because everytime I've brought this up to my mother, she seemed to understand part of how I was feeling, but ultimately it boiled down to "he's family and will catch a bullet for you, will always drop anything he is doing when we need help". WHICH IS TRUE BUT I DON'T CARE
AITAH for wanting to keep interactions with him at the bare minimum?
EDIT: at some point he brought up the "how much love we gave you" situation. Now here is what disturbs me. It's true, I've been given tons of love, patience, opoortunities, the works, not only from the rest of the family but from him as well. So I imagine myself as a parent that loves their kid so much, and then I imagine myself intimidating him because he called me crazy, or hitting him because he didn't listen and did something different from what we had agreed on, behind my back, for the millionth time. It feels wrong, it feels ignorant. I'd be wondering why the fuck does my son agree to do a certain thing and when it comes time to it, he does a different one. I'd start thinking about why he keeps lying about school grades, failing to pass the year even when he sees how bad it stresses his mother out... Instead of hitting him in the face with a closed fist (but hey, it wasn't full force!!) because he keeps lying and driving his mom crazy.
But hey, that's me. I'm "not the one to teach him about psychology"

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Thank you for ANY advice. I'll explain my friendship with him !
Current situation We worked shifts together in a restaurant daily until this month now its 3 times a week since february.
I (18nb) have gone clubbing with him (19m), and other friends I've made in the course as a group in April.
Before then, we chatted a bit and got along. He's an amazing talker, I'm a very quiet and anxious person. So I wasn't overly outgoing much with anyone outside of our shifts when I was in 'survival work mode' I feel? I did compliment some 'embarassing' talents he had (tap-dancing!!) bc I immediately was stunned and thought it was amazing and SO cool. He was almost embarassed and just said "You're the only person I've met that was impressed by that"
But after clubbing, where I get a few drinks whoosh anxiety gone? we chatted as a group all night. We sung together and danced briefly, when I got a little tipsy he held out his hand in offer to keep me steady. So I ended up holding his hand and just resting my head on his shoulder as we stood watching the drag queens.
He's so respectful, since I am usually touch averse and he noticed this when we first met and just avoided touching me. But when we were out clubbing it was so fun, we were laughing and sung together so much on our own. After that night, we got along a LOT.
When we are working shifts we talk, wave or smile as we go through. If we have a moment of down time he's being mean-nice as we banter. Like, he'll try and splash me with water when we are cleaning up in back of house. But also fuss over tying my hair back with an elastic band bc it's gonna hurt to pull off, and hovering hands as he's almost wanting to undo my ponytail for me.
He skipped his earlier bus to walk with me after he saw me outside our place of study when it was raining. He held an umbrella while we walked, I bought us both cans of soda. He was being silly with it as we walked and I was doing that ugly snort laugh. We shared facts bc we r both nerds, he uncovered me from the rain for a solid minute waiting for me to notice my hair getting wet as I was gushing abt my interests bc he's just so aaa.
I walked him to his bus stop. He jokingly said this was a great first date, I mimicked his tone and agreed it was a great half hour date. He gave me his umbrella.
Today, I skipped my bus without saying anything about how I had to watch 2hrs for my next bus bc I wanted to spent 20 more minutes with him on our break. We talked about movies at some point and he said "we need to watch the Toby McGuire ones"
My brain went blank and I just laughed and agreed. he's said 'we' before and I don't know how I can tell if he's just saying things bc his tone is always jokingly. I'm worried if I bring it up like hey would you actually want to- it'd be so obvious or just, yknow? I don't know how to do any of this. he's really friendly with everyone and I'm so awkward and I'm talking a LOT more around him and I'm stressed over him maybe only liking me when I was quieter.

This was in the past but I still want to get your opinions. I was with a guy and we were happy but he gets jealous very easily. I assure him that I only cared about him even when I friendzone or avoid the guys who like me. I just understood because what else could I do? Anyway, I have a cousin who I'm very close with and for some reason, he gets very jealous of him. When I hang out with my cousin, he always makes me feel guilty about the time he spent waiting for me. There was also a time when the two of us went out then I coincidentally met my cousin. I hugged him when I saw him (i always do this bc ofc we're close) and he went with us.
When we got home, he confronted me about how I wasn't afraid to hug my cousin in public but when I'm with him, I distance myself. I explained how I didn't want to be showy in public because ofc, it was in public like I have to restrain myself. He still defended himself and told me that it made me and my cousin look more like a couple than we were. I was at a loss for words. Because I was stupid, I apologized thinking what I had done was wrong. The only nice thing he said at that time was that I could hug him but just keep it from him so he won't get jealous. Like????? Anw, I'm free from him. Lmk what you guys think.

Hey all!
Okay, so I discovered ASMR about three/four months ago and... wow! So much content and it has been quite a nice thing for me to get into when life gets a bit tricky. After reading/listening to a lot of people's work, I decided to write a script. I do not intend to record this myself - nobody needs to hear my voice lol!!
I'm not expecting anyone to read, or comment - I wrote this for fun and curious to see what people think! However, if you do, thankyou!! Please feel free to leave a comment, and constructive feedback. Still learning the ropes, so to speak.
I'm definitely not expecting any voice artists to want to pick this up, but again, if you do, thankyou so much!! Feel free to post on Youtube, Patreon etc and I'm fine with monetization. Just please provide full credit to me and a link to the script :)
Also, I know I include a lot of directions on background noise, but I leave that entirely up to the artist! It's mainly to break up big blocks of exposition, but from the stuff I've listened to, I do prefer background noises. I just find it much more immersive.
As put in the title, I've deliberately kept both Yandere and listener gender neutral. Both Yandere and listener can be any gender! I wrote this for everyone! My personal preference would be Yandere girl, listener boy, but again, I'm not fussed if that's not your thing!
Finally, and I hope she doesn't mind me doing this, but I wanted to do a little plug to HuskyWolfGirl's YT channel. She was one of the first ASMR channels I found and really helped influence me in seeking out other content, both on Reddit and YouTube, and wanting to write my own stuff. Her work is really good and she deserves a much bigger following. Link here https://www.youtube.com/@huskywolfgirlasmr
So, the premise is you've been dating someone for a couple of weeks and you're starting to really like them. You've even been thinking that things could get pretty serious. That said, they are a bit odd, only ever meeting up with you at night, not eating a huge amount, and always being cold. One night, you finally get intimate with each other and something happens. They change into a strange creature right in front of you, with wings, big fangs and red eyes. The last thing you see is them coming at you, and everything goes dark...
Muffled noises. Fire crackling in a grate. Maybe some distant wind through the window.
A chair creaking. The sound of straining rope, which starts soft and then increases in volume. Someone has been restrained and is trying to free themselves.
Footsteps, loud and clunky as someone approaches.

Yandere
Thank God! You’re awake. Finally! You’ve been asleep ages.

More staining rope noises, increasing in intensity.

Yandere
(sounding worried)
Please don’t struggle. You’re only going to hurt yourself. I’ve been around a while. I know my way around a knot. Please. I said STOP.

The word ‘stop’ is echoey. It has power in it. The noises stop.

Yandere
Okay. Thankyou.

Noise of a chair being pulled across the room.

Yandere
Look, I’m sorry, okay. This was not the plan. I just want you to know that. I’m not going to hurt you, or do anything bad. I mean yeah, okay, tying you up isn’t great, I admit. But I just want to sit and talk with you for a little bit. If that’s okay.

Sound of Yandere sitting down. A slight rope strain.


Yandere
Ah, you don’t think it’s okay. I get that. Honest, I’m sorry for having to restrain you like this. I tried not to make it too tight. Are you in pain? You are? Damn. I’ll try to keep this quick. I really am not going to hurt you. I promise.
(sighs)
I only had to tie you up because I need you to listen to me. And after what happened last night, I figured you’d only run if you saw me again. I wouldn’t blame you. But if you did try to get away before we’ve spoken, and I had to stop you, I could hurt you. Not intentionally or anything, but… ah, now you look even more confused.
(sighs again)
You want to say something to me. I’ll take the gag out in a minute, I promise. I know you probably hate me right now. This is all just typical me. Diving in head first, not thinking things through! And now we’re…I… I’m in trouble.
Don’t look at me like that!

The rope straining sounds start again. The listener really wants to get free.

Yandere
Trust me when I say you’re not going anywhere. I’m hundreds of years old and you’re not the first person I’ve had to tie up in my time. Oh Jesus, that sounds so wrong.

At that, the straining stops. The listener is probably trying to get their head around what was just said.

Yandere
Ahh yeah, urm, so that was a slip. I guess I just better get to it. Fact is, I know we’ve only been on a few dates, but things have been so good so far. You’re just so cool to hang out with. I really loved spending time with you, and I think you felt the same.
(beat, Yandere is studying the listener for an answer, but they are keeping still for now)
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you before. You make me feel something I haven’t felt in years. Decades. I’ve been alone a while, you know? I was kind of happy to be, until I saw you. I remember seeing you with your friends in the restaurant. Remember, the one I work at? You looked so happy, so full of life. You remember the first night we met? How you spilt a drink on me? Well, that wasn’t actually your fault. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you, so I tripped up near you. I’m pretty clumsy at the best of times, but I didn’t exactly put on an Oscar winning performance.
(yandere chuckles)
I kinda got the impression you figured that out to be honest. But you didn’t seem to care. I don’t think anyone has ever looked at me the way you did. I felt like the most special person in the room. In the whole universe. Are you cold? I’ll put more wood on the fire.

Sound of wood being added to the fire, and flames. Yandere sits down, hissing.

Yandere
Shit, burned my hand! Typical. Is that better though? Don’t worry. I heal quickly, trust me. See? Ah damn, you look so pale. Please believe me. I won’t do anything to you. You’re everything to me. I know it’s fast. I know it’s odd! But you’re wonderful, and amazing, and beautiful and… I’m in love with you.
Remember what you kept saying to me? That you wanted to wait before we spent a night together until it was the right time? That we should get to know each other properly first? Well last night was just… wow. Being with you made it feel like my heart was beating again. It’s probably why… well, what happened last night happened.
What you saw was my true form. It happens sometimes when we lose control of our emotions. I’m usually so good at keeping myself in check. Lots of practice, you know? But I couldn’t help it. And once things got, urm, good last night…
(beat)
I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have let it happen. But I was just enjoying it so much.
Oh my, you’re crying. Please stop.
(echoey)
Stop!
Thankyou. Oh, now you look confused. When I want to, I can compel people to do things. Well, kind of. It doesn’t always work. Never really something I mastered, you know? I don’t like doing it anyway. I just don’t want you to be scared. I need you calm. I can hear your heart beating and it’s… distracting.
(beat)
I can see you really want that gag out. I suppose I can do. Just don’t scream. Nobody is going to hear you.

Sounds of material as the gag is removed.

Yandere
There we go. Oh, no, honey, please don’t… I said there’s no point screaming. Oh, go on then. May as well get it out your system, I guess.

Sounds of strained rope, a creaking chair and footsteps as the listener struggles and Yandere walks to the other end of the room. We hear water being poured into a glass and more footsteps as Yandere comes back.

Yandere
Would you like some water? I can hold it up to… there you go. Not too fast! You’ve spilt it all down yourself now! I know it’s kind of cold in here for you. I can’t really feel it, you know? The cold, I mean. Well, my body is always cold. Kind of comes with the territory of… What? Let you go? I promise, I will do, okay? But there’s just a few things I need to discuss with you first.
(beat)
I won’t hurt you! I would never… why don’t you believe… okay, yeah, I know it looks bad I tied you up like this.
(beat)
Okay, no need to be rude. I know you’re upset and…
(echoey)
That’s enough!
(beat)
Now, I took your gag out because you asked me to, but you will listen to me. Neither of us have a choice in that now. I was gonna wait to tell you this, you know? I mean, I don’t even know when I was gonna tell you. I hadn’t made my mind up. It’s kind of a hard thing to bring up, believe me. Like when do you do it? Third date? Just before I meet your parents? Wedding night? Honeymoon? Kinda hard to jump on a plane to the sunny Amalfi Coast if you run the risk of bursting into flame. But…
Ah, I’m rambling. Okay, I’m just gonna say it. Thing is, well the truth is, I… I’m a Vampire.
(beat)
Okay, so now you think I’m crazy, wonderful. What? That ship had already… okay, you’re being rude again.

Sound of strained ropes again.

Yandere
If you keep struggling like that you’re going to start bleeding. Not a very good idea, you think, given what I’ve just told you? Oh, there’s no such thing huh? Well then. Ask yourself if you can explain what you saw last night. My wings, my hair… my fangs. Like my entire body changed in front of you. I know you saw it.
(beat)
Wait… no, you weren’t drunk.
(beat)
And I certainly did not put anything in your drink! I mean, I did have to knock you out but that was just a small bump on the head! I didn’t plan this, you know! This isn’t some Baby Reindeer rip-off.
(beat)
What? You hated that show? Me too, to be honest. Kind of creeped me out. I mean, how pathetic is that? I’m a 700 year old Vampire who kidnaps and ties up the person I’m in love with, and a crazy Scottish gal is too much for me. I mean, what the actual hell. You probably think I’m the worst Vampire ever.
(beat)
I’m not lying to you. I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this. Here, feel my skin! It’s room temp, it’s always room temp! You always used to comment on how cold I was. Didn’t you ever wonder why we only ever met up at night? Why I never really ate that much when we went out to dinner? What, you think I live for Caesar Salad without dressing? Why do you think my face is always white?
(beat)
Yeah, I knew you thought it was weird. But I knew you never wanted to say anything. I think I loved you for that even more. Despite everything, you still wanted to know me. Do you know how rare it is to find someone you really click with? Someone who sparkles for you like the brightest star, and the way they look at you means they might, just might, feel the same way? I mean, I thought you did.
(hopeful)
Do you?
(beat)
If you say yes, will I let you go? I don’t want you to say yes because you’re scared of me!
(beat)
If I loved you, I’d untie your hands? Are they hurting? I… look, okay, I’ll untie you if it’ll make you feel better. But please don’t try anything. Please don’t. Thing is, the main thing I need to tell you is that you’re in danger. We both are, now you know what I am. Stay still.

Sound of rope being untangled.

Yandere
Okay, there you go. Oh, your wrists look sore. I told you not to struggle too much! I can give you something for that. Okay, sorry, I know you’re still a bit nervous. I won’t try to touch you again unless I have to, so please stay in the chair. The ropes can go back on if they need to.
(beat)
Why are we in danger? Well, it’s a bit complicated. Trying to condense two thousand years of Vampire lore into one conversation is a little hard, you know? I mean, there’s so much crap out there about Vampires. Half the stuff paints us as some sort of wild animal, whilst the other half… I swear I wanted to bite Stephanie Myer. But through all the literal shit they do get some things right. We exist. We live in secret in the human world. We used to be human, until another of our kind turned us, and we became what we are. We drink blood to survive.
(beat)
Okay, I’ll ignore your sarcastic tone. How many are there of us? I’m really not sure, you know? Less than there was when I was first turned, I think. We spend a lot of time in hiding. We really don’t want the human world knowing about us. That part is true as well.
(beat)
Because we are better off! When I was first turned, humans did know about us, and they hunted us. We Vampires, we are stronger than the average human. We also have faster instincts, and we’re very good at hiding. I don’t know for sure, but I think we kind of evolved to be really good at hunting, well… humans. No, please don’t move! I don’t do that anymore! I haven’t fed… I mean, I don’t drink human blood. That’s not what this is about! No…

Sound of running, and a whooshing sound like material flying through the air. Then creaks as the listener is sat in the chair, followed by the sound of rope.

Yandere
I told you not to try anything! I’m going to have to tie you up again now! How am I so fast? Have you not been listening? What? You think I want to keep you tied up? You promise you won’t try that again? Fine, I won't put the ropes back on, but please don’t.
(beat)
I know this sounds crazy, but trust me, it’s real. I’m real. Vampires are real! I’m standing right in front of you! Can you not see me?
(beat)
Where are we all? Well that’s the thing. Most of us tend to keep to ourselves. A while back now, I’m not sure when exactly, a decision was kind of made that we would avoid contact with humans. For every human we hunted, ten would spring up to hunt us back and it looked like it was to be all out war. So, we hid. Got the blood we need from animals. Only some of the bad ones still feed on humans, and even then they do it stealthily. They’re very smart. They use human laws and influence to hide themselves. It’s easy to get very rich when you’ve been around for hundreds of years. They’re the really bad ones.
(beat)
Yeah, quite a few famous people are Vampires. But not all of us are like that. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Most of us try to live with humans. We get our blood from butchers, or hunting wild animals, and we just get by.
(beat)
No. I haven’t seen any of my kind for a long time. Not directly anyway. I’m alone.
(beat)
That’s a very long story. I will tell you, but I first need you to decide something. The thing is, the decision to keep away from humans and to hide, well, it was more than a decision. It was a general order. The accepted nature of a Vampire is that we do not reveal ourselves to humans unless… well unless we plan to make them one of us.
(beat)
Please don’t move. I need to explain… don’t even think about it.
(echoey)
STOP!
(beat)
Don’t you understand? I can’t let you go because you know about us now! And you shouldn’t do. Sit down, please, or I will have to make you.

A chair creaks as the listener sits back down.

Yandere
If we come into contact with humans, we take a lot of steps to avoid revealing who we really are. What we are. Most of us don’t risk getting close to anyone in case they figure it out. We can blend in, but the closer someone gets, the more they see us. Like you were starting to. And in moments of heightened emotion… well, you saw what happened.
(beat)
Why am I telling you now? Because you saw me. You may not have known what I was, but you saw enough. And if you told someone, and they told someone… before you know it someone hears who we don’t want to hear. And then, they’d come for you. They’d come for both of us.
(beat)
Remember I mentioned there are some powerful famous ones amongst us? Well, they like their lives. Exposing Vampires to the world could jeopardize that. And that is something that they won’t… believe me, you don’t want to piss them off.
(beat)
I’m sorry, it’s not that I didn’t trust you, but I couldn’t take that chance. As long as you knew about me, you’d be in danger. Anyone you told would be in danger. Anyone who you might have told. Leaving you free, knowing about me… I just couldn’t do it. It’s why I had to kidnap you. I didn’t really have a lot of time to think.
(emotionally, like Yandere is holding back tears)
And now we’re done, aren’t we? I can see it in the way you’re looking at me. Please believe me. I would never have done this to you. I had no choice. I really didn’t. I swear. Being with you has been the best time in my life. And I’ve lived forever. It’s a long time to be alone.
(beat)
Please say something.
(beat)
What happens now? Well, this is where it gets a bit, urm, complicated.
(beat)
I get it, you won’t tell anyone. And I believe you, I do. But it goes beyond that now. You know about us, and that knowledge is a curse. I know you, I know how conscientious you are. You’ll see Vampires in everything now. What if someone goes missing and you think a Vampire did it? What if you tell the wrong person? You’ll be dooming yourself, and you wouldn’t even know it.
(beat)
Yeah, I said I’ll let you go, and I will do. Well, that’s kind of up to you. You’ve seen that I have the power of compulsion. Vampires can use this to alter memories. It’s hard, and we avoid doing it unless we absolutely have to, but we can. If you want to leave, right now, then you can. But I would need to remove from your mind any memory of me. All the times we spent together would need to go.
(beat)
I could just try to remove what happened last night, yeah. But if I just disappear, you’ll look for me. Better you never met me. Better that I never existed for you.
(Yandere sniffs)
That is the price for your freedom, and for your safety. I will let you go, but you will go forever. We will never see each other again.
(beat)
The process won’t harm you! I have done it before. You would simply go to sleep, and wake up at home. You could get on with your life.
(beat)
Yes, I did mention you have a choice. The other option is that you don’t leave. You stay here with me.
(beat)
No, not as my prisoner. Haven’t I told you I don’t want to hurt you? I have no interest in holding you against your will. If you were to stay, it would be your own choice. But the only way to guarantee your safety would be, well, the thing is, I would need to… you would need to become like me. A Vampire.
(beat)
I’m afraid there isn’t another way. If you were to become a Vampire, you would be safe. Nobody would come after you. It would be in your best interests to not tell others about us. About what you were. But it’s more than that.
When I first entered into a relationship with you, I knew that if we were going to get serious, I would need to have this conversation eventually. I hoped we would be much further along than this, but there we go. It’s a lot to put on you, especially from someone you’ve not known that long.
If you were to become a Vampire, you could stay with me. Forever if you wanted. We could share eternity. Watch as this world grows and changes. There’s a lot of bad in it, but a lot of good as well. I could show it to you. We could see it together. For hundreds and hundreds of years.
There’s props to being a Vampire too. As I said, you have increased strength, and agility. You never get sick. Your body never changes, or ages. As long as you consume the blood you need, you don’t need any other form of sustenance. We don’t even need toilets! If nobody harms you, you can go on forever.
(beat)
Yes. I’m serious. I’m offering you the world, if you want to take it.
(Yandere’s voice quivers. This next bit is hard for them to say)
Of course, you wouldn’t have to stay with me forever. Once fully turned, if you wanted to, you could leave. Make your own way in the world. But this couldn’t happen straight away. Becoming a Vampire is an intense experience that I can’t even begin to describe to you. Everything is turned up like 1,000 percent. It’s a lot, and it can be very hard to get used to. If I were to change you, you would need to stay with me and learn how to control this power. And it could take a while. You would not be able to even think about returning to your old life for months, possibly years. If you went back too soon, you would run the risk of hurting those you loved.
(beat)
Yes. You would need to disappear. You would not be able to speak to your family, your friends, or anyone, for a long time.
(beat)
Yeah, I already said you can stay with me. I would help you, and bring you anything you needed. In time, there’s no reason why you could not reconnect with your old life. But you would have to be so careful. No matter how well you manage to integrate, or how well you hide who you really are, you would be a Vampire. Always.

The fire crackles in the grate as the listener takes all of this in.

Yandere
I know this is a lot, so I have one more thing I want to offer you. Stay with me, here in my home. Let me show you my world over the next few days. What it really means to be like me. You would not be allowed to leave here without me, and if you tried I would need to tie you up again, but if you promised me not to, then you can stay as long as you like. Or at least, until you make your final decision. Become a Vampire and accept a whole new life, or let me take your memories and return home. You can decide whenever you like, but just know that once you do, whenever that is, there is no going back.
(beat)
So. My love. What would you like to do?

And that's it! I leave the ending open really. Either it can end here, or I write more!
If you made it this far, thanks for reading, and have a good day!!

Phew what a journey. I have been an infrastructure engineer for several years with some azure cloud work involed and recently finished my 4 year contract role. I wanted to skill up so booked az-104 and az-305. I started studying for AZ-104 back in December 2023. I was using Johh Savill and Tutorial Dojo and the official microsoft study pathways.
With Tutorial Dojo it took me a month or so to start to get 90% in all timed exams and final mock exam.
With this in mind i had my first attempt at 104. I got 660 and deflated was an understatement. Once i dusted myself down i rescheduled and purchased 30 days of AZ-104 Measure up. TBH i don't think measure up was helpful for me. If anything i found it overly difficult and i was getting really low scores in each area which made me doubt my knowledge.
To approach my second exam i tried to make it simple and focus purely on my weak areas which for me was 'Monitor and maintain azure resources' and i was slightly off the mark in 'Manage Azure identites and governance'. 24 hours leading up to my second attempt i doubled down on these areas using the official MS AZ-104 practice exam and john savill az-104 youtube videos for those specific areas.
My score is not amazing but i passed on attempt 2 with 709. At this point i'll take it! I recommend people use the following:-

1. John Savill AZ-104 Playlist
2. John Savill AZ-104 Exam cram V2
3. Tutorial Dojo (it's cheap and i really like the interface and how it works)
4. Microsoft official pathway study material. Do all the modules and sandbox environments I know most people learn then do what they learned in their own azure portal but for me i didn't do anything practical within azure as i was too worried about racking up costs.
5. Finally make sure a day or two before your exam you take the official AZ-104 practice exam from the Microsoft website. For me this helped massively as i could isolate my weak areas and attack those.

Onwards and updwards. Happy Friday all! :)

Mark as you can tell the situation at work has been growing increasingly more tense day by day. You have expressed concern with my performance, I have been making attempts to improve. Yet I see a lack of concern with the issues I have expressed to you. At the moment of writing this latter I have been operating for 2 months with Frank and Devin as members of my WR team. I have expressed concern about having Mike taken away from WR before this has become “the norm”. As you know he is a valuable team member due to the knowledge he accumulated from working with the company for a long period of time. I found it acceptable for Jack to barrow him on an occasion for help when needed (now I understand that perhaps I have been way to linnet when it comes to this). You have expressed that there were days when you had only 3 team members (perhaps you were including yourself in the count). I can see how complaining about a lack of team members for 2-4 days can seem childish, 1 week can be written off as an unfortunate set of circumstances (maybe there is an audit coming up, maybe a higher up visitor from the company). At 2 weeks this begins to raise some concern (perhaps the buys season is upon us and we are training up new team members that we just hired). 3 weeks a MONTH is getting very frustrating (at this point all kinds of explanations are rapidly deteriorating). One would begin to ask himself “why has this been happening for so long?” or “Am I being taken advantage off”. I see the XDock team expand, I see yours and Bella’s team expand, but there isn’t even a whisper of my team expanding or even returning to the usual size. I have been working as a Supervisor and a Bagger with no compensation for the fact that I am preforming a job 2 people. It is only now that my base pay has risen 10 cents above what is offered to new team members who join with no experience. There are people on 1st shift making 22.50$/hr. Working 3rd shift should have a significantly larger compensation (working 3rd is unnatural, not only dose it derail a person’s day to day life, but it is also more stressful). You wouldn’t want nor be able to work 3rd shift. (As a man with a family) At the same time whilst I’m down a team member you have made strides to expand my responsibility as a supervisor (I understand where you are coming from, the buys season is here, the workload for everyone has expanded, you are not able to complete tasks leftover by me or anyone else) But I believe that the timing of this is wrong, you should not have thrown more responsibly on me as a supervisor while I’m already doing the workload of 2 people for a prolonged period of time. I would like to remind you that unlike Bella or Tim I didn’t spend 1-2 weeks shadowing a person in this position. I was thrusted into working as Supervisor with no prior training. You have taken time to show me how to bill out SunSets, kick out an empty flatbed, call in a compactor exchange etc… But learning a task is better done in person (what I mean is this should be done when I can see it happen, not a hypothetical scenario of billing out a flatbed which I never see picked up, I see what I’m supposed to do on my end but I can’t tell if it is done correctly because I have no interaction with a person on the other end) All the tasks like billing out a partial pallet or Dock 69/72, which involve using AniTa(which is outdated and not intuitive program) should be in a binder as a step by step guide for a new or existing supervisors as a reference point .(Like we have done with Sunset, and PRA allocations). I feel that there is a lack of understanding when it comes to expectations. I am held to the same standards as 1st and 2nd shift whilst having a considerably worse team and less resources. What I mean by less resources? I am not completely sure how accurate my information is, but during 3rd shift the number of departments that are operational is cut in half, I believe that there is us the WR, Xdock, Block and Bagging. For a long period of time, we didn’t have a maintenance team (now that we have CJ it is better, but there are still nights when we have issues and he is nowhere to be found, you can ask Scott from bagging about this). We didn’t have a Yard horse driver until recently (although we do have one now, the WR is always last on his priority list, there have been nights where move on a Sunset has been put in before I even got here and wasn’t touched all night) In general, there is a feeling that WR is not important in comparison to other areas on the plant. We are the ones who have to give up the things that we have to others, be it team members, lifts, access to assistance from maintenance team, we always seem to come last. What I mean by a considerably worse team? Me and you had a conversation about this outside couple of months ago. I believe I used an expression “I am given everyone’s bad Appels but expected to make orange juice” I believe you laughed when I said that maybe you didn’t understand what I meant. First Mike while he is useful and knowledgeable when it comes to Bagging, he is very difficult to work with. He has gone from one site to another because of that reason. He drags his feet when asked to do something, or avoids doing it all together, or assigns other team members to do the tasks for him. He leaves the plant without letting me know to complete other tasks instead of cleaning. Recently with him coming to stay 10:30pm-12:00am to join his brother outside he has gotten even worse. He will come and spent 30 minutes talking to Devin then to Rob then to other team members, he might complete 1 bagging load. When asked to do anything else he takes a 10-minute break by that time it is already 11:40pm and he leaves. (At this point I would rather not have him here; he would be way more useful if he was outside taking mulch pallets left by 2nd shift or Clamp Hand Staking on Xdock). Second Frank. We had many conversations about him and his performance. To give you credit you have been very tolerant of him and when asked you did help(example being the new cameras, potential improvement coming to the Pallet Sorter). I have spoken to you about him falling asleep for 2-5 seconds at a time. I believe that I have told you that he expressed to me that he is suffering from Narcolepsy (A chronic sleep disorder that causes overwhelming drowsiness). We have already seen consciences of that. Most of his accidents involving the Forklift were caused by it. There were multiple times when he has been kicked of the lift for weeks on Xdock. I see this as a very dangerous situation not only for him but the safety of other team members, yet I have not seen any attempts to get this addressed. (He could fall asleep, fall down and hit his head on something) He has been sleeping before heading home as a safety measure to prevent himself from getting into an accident (I believe that’s why he had issues with his previous vehicle and doesn’t wish the same thing to happen to his new one). Devin. I am satisfied with him. He has good communication skills; he completes the tasks assigned to him in a reasonable amount of time. He has expressed to me that he is looking for other jobs (more in the tech sector to match his education). We have been fortunate that he hasn’t left us yet. I have been doing my very best to teach him how to preform different tasks, but I strongly believe that we are starting to push him too far. Now that we don’t have Mike and I have to run the bagging plant. Devin had to step up to pallet sorting during Franks lunch everyday (previously we had a rotation between me, Mike and, Devin). He has been a very good team member but I believe that he had picked up some bad habits primarily from Mike . Recently when I asked him to give me a hand with a clan up in bagging he has avoided coming, and began taking breaks to postpone it until I had no choice to do it all alone (whilst I might have been upset with him at the moment I understood that he has already been doing a lot) Backhallers. They are not backhallers they are Xdock team members which Jack uses to do backhalls. They might complete 4-6 backhalls in a given amount of time, but if Jack needs them for something else they have to do the work he assigns them (because there is an understating that Xdock work is more important). When I ask them to do something they don’t take me seriously unlike you and Bella I have almost no authority over them. If I ask them complete a task and Jack askes them to do something else they have to listen to him as his authority supersedes my (same if you asked me to do something nut if Neel asked me to do something else I would have to listen to him). Between running the bagger and keeping an eye on Frank and Devin and doing the clean up I have no time to watch over them, I have no way of reprimanding them if they do something wrong, but yet I am held accountable for the actions of people I have no power to influence. I can see how I can come off aggressive in this letter, but I am trying to communicate my frustrations with the current state of affairs. This is not an attack on you mark. The only reason I haven’t walked away from this, is out of my respect for you and understanding how difficult of a situation I would be putting the WR plant in. I often find myself asking one question. Why did you make me a supervisor and not someone else? (As I recall Mike was offered this position too). Maybe you chose me because of my good work at the Pallet Sorter, maybe because of my communication skills. But now I find myself pulled by the thought that in me you saw an individual who would do more for less, a sucker who is fine getting pushed around and will do more than what he is getting paid for. Perhaps I am wrong to think in this manner, but as time goes on and I see no attempts to improve this situation I grow increasing more frustrated.

Hello Redditors,
This is an incredible success story of how we helped a client achieve incredible results in just four months, generating an $80,000 return on investment (ROI) with a combination of SEO and Facebook Ads. We have completed many successful projects and there's a certain satisfaction in seeing our strategies translate to such tangible growth. I have tried to keep this post extremely detailed so that it can be beneficial for experienced marketers and newcomers alike.
The Client: Hair Extension E-commerce Brand
Revenue Split Between SEO and Fb ads: 3:2
Average Order Value: $350
Total Revenue(6 months): $140,000
Expenses(6 months): Product Cost + Delivery cost + Team + Agency Fees + Ads Cost+ Website Optimization + Packaging: $60000
Basic Company Background:
The brand was being run by a Mother-Daughter duo for the past 3 months. They had a shopify website with average structure and were struggling with facebook ads themselves. Although they made few physical sales due to friends and relatives but were unable to utilize the digital potential of their business as such. After trying facebook ads for some time they wanted a reliable digital marketing team to work with and they were recommended to us by one of our other customers who has a service based business. Initially we connected majorly for facebook ads but after the initial discussion when were doing research from our side, we found that there is huge potential in SEO for this niche so we suggested that we should prepare a proper website on wordpress and focus on both SEO and Ads parallelly as, although Ads will give an initial boost to the business but SEO will bring some stability and help in building a sustainable business.
Facebook Ads Campaign Structure:

• Our campaign housed multiple ad sets targeting users who are interested in fashion products and we also targeted audiences of some big and costly fashion companies. We were mostly targeting females aged 25-45 with good income source to have optimal conversions in the beginning, with our Seo efforts we planned to target a slightly younger audience as well which is going steadily as of now.
• We ran occasional promotions like "Buy x get x free" to boost AOV.
• Due to the high AOV and especially the product niche sometimes it is necessary to build trust so we used retargeting to build trust and showcase benefits, not just push for immediate conversions. Ads focused on comparison(Before & Afters), Customer Reviews, Hassle free product application and natural look, stylish look.

Ads Creatives and Brand Positioning:
It's important to note that after deep research we could find that a major share our hair extensions customers are females aged between 21-45 so we did not actively position our brand as solving problems of low hair volume, but instead we focused on how the products ads style, gives a much better look and you can try new hairstyles and hair colors daily. Also since almost all the demographics in this age group are working, we tested a professional look angle as well which gave us decent results. In ad creatives as well as on the website we made the daughter as the face of the product as we want to slowly grow her instagram as well which can add another organic and sustainable stream of revenue. She shoots before and after transition videos, general product application videos and other videos for ads according to the target audience and brand positioning strategy we discussed earlier. Instead of making long videos focused on product details a lot, we made short but captivating videos which can appeal to the young audience’s fashion sense.
Key Takeaways from FB Ads:
Mostly Meta Ads or Any other marketing tactic is just a traffic source but conversion will basically happen by how well you are able to communicate your product to the audience through your website. Its is necessary to have a smooth user journey, attractive offers, crisp information and right brand positioning on the website.
It is extremely important to make data driven decisions and track customer journeys meticulously. Always rely on your own tracking or google analytics to avoid the potential unreliability of Facebook Ads Manager.
Seo Strategy
If you don’t already know this, SEO is all about how effectively you can strategize your content and technical efforts keeping a bigger picture in mind. After our initial keyword research we could find that the average Kd of the important keywords was low when it comes to commercial keywords which were directly related to the business.
It's important to note that since the website was being built after our onboarding only so it was easy for us to structure the website according to the SEO strategy that we prepared.
At every stage we had meetings with the developer to ensure that there are no technical issues that will hinder the SEO growth and future and also we structured the website to be SEO friendly. We built separate pages for all the product categories and after through keyword research we added content to those pages so that the pages itself can rank for commercial keywords.
After the website was ready we audited it for technical issues(Like mobile friendliness, H1 tags, canonical tags, etc) we started focusing on the content. We wanted to establish our website as a trusted authority in the hair extensions and hair care industry in general.
Since the website was completely new, initially we created blogs(2-3 times per week) around informational keywords with low KD purely for increasing our website authority and bringing the initial traffic on the website. We have seen that usually people start stressing about approaching big websites for guest postings since the first day itself but if your keyword research and content is solid, that is not required in the beginning. Initially we focused on profile creations, image submissions, pdf submissions, internal linking in the content, web 2.0 backlinks etc and this was more than enough for us to rank for low difficulty keywords and increase our DA to a decent level so that our category pages can rank for low difficulty keywords.
Here I would like to include a tip, many times people are worried that what if the backlink that they have created doesn't get indexed. In the initial phase we work really hard when it comes to what we call as maturing our backlinks as this is the major factor for ranking on low difficulty keywords. So basically what we do is, we make backlinks of our web 2.0 backlinks itself which helps the primary backlink in getting indexed which ultimately helps with our website DA.
Also many people have been asking us in our previous posts how we structure our blog since I talk a lot about content quality, see it's not as hard and it doesn't involve a lot of research at least in the initial phase when you just have to rank on low difficulty keywords. In this phase usually what we do is study the top 5 ranking blogs on the particular keyword and make sure that we include more content and more subheadings then them. Also we try to find opportunities to include tables or charts wherever possible, we include good quality images(original if possible) and at this stage internal linking is very very important so we focus on that as well. In later stages although the basic strategy for framing the blogs remains same, overall content strategy varies a lot from business to business and requires a lot of strategizing depending on the brand positioning goals.
So after we were able to rank for low difficulty informational keywords and our Website DA reached a decent level due to our backlinking efforts, we started writing content around the fashion advice and common problems which people face related to hair in general. But as discussed earlier, we wanted to keep our brand positioning fashion centric, so even while writing about common problems we applied a positive and solution centric approach. We strategically placed internal links to our product pages in the content and tested popups with offers as well. Apart from this, we started guest posting as well at this stage. For finding websites for guest posting we used SEMrush’s backlink gap analysis tool and created a segregated list of blogs that we can reach out to based on their content quality and DA. By this time the store started generating decent revenue from ads and SEO so the client was completely onboard with reaching out to blogs for guest posting. Guest posting and overall strategic SEO application started generating a good amount of traffic for us and in 3-4 months the revenue generated due to SEO surpassed our Ads revenue as well.
Advantages of Combining SEO and Paid Ads
While Facebook Ads played a crucial role in launching the brand and driving initial traffic, SEO has emerged as the primary driver of sustainable growth. This approach allowed us to:

• Reduce Reliance on Paid Advertising: As our SEO efforts matured, we were able to gradually decrease our Facebook ad spend, resulting in cost savings and improved return on investment.
• Build Brand Authority: Our SEO strategy has positioned our website as a trusted authority in the hair extensions industry. This fosters brand recognition and trust, leading to organic customer acquisition.
• Scale Traffic and Revenue: Organic traffic growth has been exponential, leading to a significant and sustainable increase in website revenue generated through SEO.

SEO efforts are always ongoing but we are really satisfied with the base that we have built and we are really looking forward to working with keywords with higher KD and generating more revenue with SEO In the upcoming months. Although we will keep running ads in future as well mostly for awareness purposes but the major revenue will be generated from our SEO efforts. Apart from this, as we mentioned earlier, we are looking to actively start the Social Media efforts as well from the next month itself. We will be looking to target Instagram and Tiktok in the initial phase and we believe in 2-3 months social media will contribute towards 25% of our revenue which will grow rapidly.
Thankyou For Reading!

Hello Redditors,
This is an incredible success story of how we helped a client achieve incredible results in just four months, generating an $80,000 return on investment (ROI) with a combination of SEO and Facebook Ads. We have completed many successful projects and there's a certain satisfaction in seeing our strategies translate to such tangible growth. I have tried to keep this post extremely detailed so that it can be beneficial for experienced marketers and newcomers alike.
The Client: Hair Extension E-commerce Brand
Revenue Split Between SEO and Fb ads: 3:2
Average Order Value: $350
Total Revenue(6 months): $140,000
Expenses(6 months): Product Cost + Delivery cost + Team + Agency Fees + Ads Cost+ Website Optimization + Packaging: $60000
Basic Company Background:
The brand was being run by a Mother-Daughter duo for the past 3 months. They had a shopify website with average structure and were struggling with facebook ads themselves. Although they made few physical sales due to friends and relatives but were unable to utilize the digital potential of their business as such. After trying facebook ads for some time they wanted a reliable digital marketing team to work with and they were recommended to us by one of our other customers who has a service based business. Initially we connected majorly for facebook ads but after the initial discussion when were doing research from our side, we found that there is huge potential in SEO for this niche so we suggested that we should prepare a proper website on wordpress and focus on both SEO and Ads parallelly as, although Ads will give an initial boost to the business but SEO will bring some stability and help in building a sustainable business.
Facebook Ads Campaign Structure:

• Our campaign housed multiple ad sets targeting users who are interested in fashion products and we also targeted audiences of some big and costly fashion companies. We were mostly targeting females aged 25-45 with good income source to have optimal conversions in the beginning, with our Seo efforts we planned to target a slightly younger audience as well which is going steadily as of now.
• We ran occasional promotions like "Buy x get x free" to boost AOV.
• Due to the high AOV and especially the product niche sometimes it is necessary to build trust so we used retargeting to build trust and showcase benefits, not just push for immediate conversions. Ads focused on comparison(Before & Afters), Customer Reviews, Hassle free product application and natural look, stylish look.

Ads Creatives and Brand Positioning:
It's important to note that after deep research we could find that a major share our hair extensions customers are females aged between 21-45 so we did not actively position our brand as solving problems of low hair volume, but instead we focused on how the products ads style, gives a much better look and you can try new hairstyles and hair colors daily. Also since almost all the demographics in this age group are working, we tested a professional look angle as well which gave us decent results. In ad creatives as well as on the website we made the daughter as the face of the product as we want to slowly grow her instagram as well which can add another organic and sustainable stream of revenue. She shoots before and after transition videos, general product application videos and other videos for ads according to the target audience and brand positioning strategy we discussed earlier. Instead of making long videos focused on product details a lot, we made short but captivating videos which can appeal to the young audience’s fashion sense.
Key Takeaways from FB Ads:
Mostly Meta Ads or Any other marketing tactic is just a traffic source but conversion will basically happen by how well you are able to communicate your product to the audience through your website. Its is necessary to have a smooth user journey, attractive offers, crisp information and right brand positioning on the website.
It is extremely important to make data driven decisions and track customer journeys meticulously. Always rely on your own tracking or google analytics to avoid the potential unreliability of Facebook Ads Manager.
Seo Strategy
If you don’t already know this, SEO is all about how effectively you can strategize your content and technical efforts keeping a bigger picture in mind. After our initial keyword research we could find that the average Kd of the important keywords was low when it comes to commercial keywords which were directly related to the business.
It's important to note that since the website was being built after our onboarding only so it was easy for us to structure the website according to the SEO strategy that we prepared.
At every stage we had meetings with the developer to ensure that there are no technical issues that will hinder the SEO growth and future and also we structured the website to be SEO friendly. We built separate pages for all the product categories and after through keyword research we added content to those pages so that the pages itself can rank for commercial keywords.
After the website was ready we audited it for technical issues(Like mobile friendliness, H1 tags, canonical tags, etc) we started focusing on the content. We wanted to establish our website as a trusted authority in the hair extensions and hair care industry in general.
Since the website was completely new, initially we created blogs(2-3 times per week) around informational keywords with low KD purely for increasing our website authority and bringing the initial traffic on the website. We have seen that usually people start stressing about approaching big websites for guest postings since the first day itself but if your keyword research and content is solid, that is not required in the beginning. Initially we focused on profile creations, image submissions, pdf submissions, internal linking in the content, web 2.0 backlinks etc and this was more than enough for us to rank for low difficulty keywords and increase our DA to a decent level so that our category pages can rank for low difficulty keywords.
Here I would like to include a tip, many times people are worried that what if the backlink that they have created doesn't get indexed. In the initial phase we work really hard when it comes to what we call as maturing our backlinks as this is the major factor for ranking on low difficulty keywords. So basically what we do is, we make backlinks of our web 2.0 backlinks itself which helps the primary backlink in getting indexed which ultimately helps with our website DA.
Also many people have been asking us in our previous posts how we structure our blog since I talk a lot about content quality, see it's not as hard and it doesn't involve a lot of research at least in the initial phase when you just have to rank on low difficulty keywords. In this phase usually what we do is study the top 5 ranking blogs on the particular keyword and make sure that we include more content and more subheadings then them. Also we try to find opportunities to include tables or charts wherever possible, we include good quality images(original if possible) and at this stage internal linking is very very important so we focus on that as well. In later stages although the basic strategy for framing the blogs remains same, overall content strategy varies a lot from business to business and requires a lot of strategizing depending on the brand positioning goals.
So after we were able to rank for low difficulty informational keywords and our Website DA reached a decent level due to our backlinking efforts, we started writing content around the fashion advice and common problems which people face related to hair in general. But as discussed earlier, we wanted to keep our brand positioning fashion centric, so even while writing about common problems we applied a positive and solution centric approach. We strategically placed internal links to our product pages in the content and tested popups with offers as well. Apart from this, we started guest posting as well at this stage. For finding websites for guest posting we used SEMrush’s backlink gap analysis tool and created a segregated list of blogs that we can reach out to based on their content quality and DA. By this time the store started generating decent revenue from ads and SEO so the client was completely onboard with reaching out to blogs for guest posting. Guest posting and overall strategic SEO application started generating a good amount of traffic for us and in 3-4 months the revenue generated due to SEO surpassed our Ads revenue as well.
Advantages of Combining SEO and Paid Ads
While Facebook Ads played a crucial role in launching the brand and driving initial traffic, SEO has emerged as the primary driver of sustainable growth. This approach allowed us to:

• Reduce Reliance on Paid Advertising: As our SEO efforts matured, we were able to gradually decrease our Facebook ad spend, resulting in cost savings and improved return on investment.
• Build Brand Authority: Our SEO strategy has positioned our website as a trusted authority in the hair extensions industry. This fosters brand recognition and trust, leading to organic customer acquisition.
• Scale Traffic and Revenue: Organic traffic growth has been exponential, leading to a significant and sustainable increase in website revenue generated through SEO.

SEO efforts are always ongoing but we are really satisfied with the base that we have built and we are really looking forward to working with keywords with higher KD and generating more revenue with SEO In the upcoming months. Although we will keep running ads in future as well mostly for awareness purposes but the major revenue will be generated from our SEO efforts. Apart from this, as we mentioned earlier, we are looking to actively start the Social Media efforts as well from the next month itself. We will be looking to target Instagram and Tiktok in the initial phase and we believe in 2-3 months social media will contribute towards 25% of our revenue which will grow rapidly.
Thankyou For Reading!

I DON'T KNOW.
My husband knows I have massive issues communicating my feelings/wants/needs. I am a massive, chronic people pleaser and do everything I need to do to keep everyone else happy, that's how I've been for 32 years of life.
Every time we're fighting or whatever he says some variation of "It would never get to this point if you'd just talk to me! Tell me what you're thinking, what you're feeling, what do you want?!"
And every single time I get stuck in a panic because I DON'T KNOW.
How do I feel? I feel freaking anxious and panicked. That's it.
I don't know what I want. I don't know what I need to fix it. I don't know how you can respond to me that's going to be helpful.
If I knew, if I had the answers to this issue don't you think I would have told you by now??
I hate being this way. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like I'm floundering, just trying to do something that every regular human being does day in, day out.

Hello everyone!
I have been freelancing almost all my working life. Mostly as a fashion photographer and a model. I do still get jobs and some are very amazing but still I have a lot of free time.
It's an exciting adventure, however I am tired of ups and downs and I want to have more stability in life. I would like to get a part time remote job but I don't know what field and what job I could do exactly. Need some ideas.
My working experience:

• Fashion model 15 years- skills: i know all about model bookings, contracts, dealing with clients, rates, negotiations, buy outs, travel, visas, working with fashion crews
• Fashion photographer 3 years - I shot on a pretty good high level like Vogue and proper commercial campaigns and billboard campaigns. Skills: shooting in digital and analog, editing, managing business, creative direction, moodboards, contracts, art buying, finding crew, location scouting, huge client and magazines contact data base.
• Documentary - worked for a documentary production company for ten months, shot documentary projects for some magazines, know how to operate video camera
• Production - I have some PA experience on fashion and commercial shoots, music videos
• NGOs and humanitarian work - I originally studied Political Science, and after uni I worked as Executive Assistant for an american NGO where I was also doing lots of research, then I worked in refugee camps in Calais and Palestine as on ground direct humanitarian worker.

I am thinking I could be good at:

• Art Buying - which is pulling together a crew for fashion shoots
• Creating moodboards for big big photographers or agencies for commercial jobs
• Something in production
• Running visuals and campaigns for NGOS
• Helping young creatives with my knowledge of industry

A big NO because of saturated market:

• Editing
  
• Selling prints and stuff like this
  

What else comes to your mind with this experience?
I have no clue how to find those jobs
Thank you