| How do you urinate? Can you have any sort of sexual stimulation to climax? | There is a new urethral opening made for urination. I have to sit or squat to pee after the surgery. |
| Edit: I wanted to add: I'm so sorry you poor, poor bastard. | I do not have any sexual encounter or masturbation since the surgery and have not experienced any sexual stimulation. |
| Welcome to the "sitting to pee" crew. On the plus side, if you have a dodgy stomach when already going to the toilet, you'll be sitting down as it happens ¬¬ | Oh yes, you are right. I do not aware that before. |
| Do you have a girlfriend or significant other? If so, how have they dealt with your situation? What kind of strain does it put on the relationship? | I had girlfriends in my university years (I had my university study in UK by scholarship) but after I returned to Pakistan after university I do not have any girlfriend. |
| Haven't you thought about coming back to the UK? I know that female-to-male transsexuals can have prosthetic, functional penises made from their existing skin (with a pump inside) and you might be able to get one on the NHS. It's pretty shocking that the docs over there have left you with nothing. | Have thought about that, but I am not an UK citizen and so I cannot enjoy the service of NHS. |
| How has your personality changed since the surgery? Your answers regarding the loss of your sexual organs are factual, and I'm interested to know how you feel/ behave now compared to before? | I feel myself less of a man and feel inferior when dealing with others, especially before other men. I talk less with others. I become more passive and less eager to confront or debate with others. I do not aware but others told me that they note I am somewhat effeminated in my behaviours. I talk and behave in less self-confidence and my tone and manner is changing soft and gentle. |
| Testosterone supplements might help. | Recently I am not on any testosterone therapy. |
| Very few men know this, but have you tried looking at prostate arousal? Men can have multiple orgasms with proper stimulation and is unrelated to ejaculation or the penis. The downside is sticking things in your bum. You will need a toy, a vibrator for men. | I have never thought about sticking a toy or something in my bum as that would make me feel even less a man. |
| Get a guy to help you out with that, it'll be super manly, way manlier than heterosexual sex. | Then it will be homosexual act. |
| What if a woman does it to you? | In our religion and culture men always do the penetration and women always being penetrated. Those men having been penetrated by other men (or women) would be taken by others as women. |
| Which by definition is far manlier than heterosexual sex. | I also never thought about being a homosexual man. |
| Culture doesn't know everything. If you do it, just don't tell culture, and it won't get mad at you. You'll be fine. | Culture is about how others and the society will see you. I am not saying our culture forbidden homosexual and sex reassignment (as these are much loose in Pakistan than in other Muslim countries) I am just saying that I myself have never thought about and considered being homosexual or have sex reassignment. |
| Have you considered leaving pakistan? it sounds like you don't have any socially acceptable sexual options. | No, I am not saying there is no other socially acceptable sexual options. Homosexual and sex reassignment are not strictly disallowed in Pakistan as in other Muslim countries and there are some people living as hijras in Pakistan. You may search the internet if you are interested in. I am just saying that I myself have never thought about and considered being homosexual or have sex reassignment. |
| You don't have to tell your neighbors what you do in the bedroom. | However, I cannot control the one doing that with me telling the neighbors. |
| You keep on saying you have never thought about this or that. Granted your current situation, why not consider it. If your asexual then it's not homosexual (I think...) | May be you are right. I should think about all alternatives open to me. |
| Having a woman penetrate you doesn't require being homosexual or having a sex reassignment. | In our culture a man would never being penetrated, no matter by a dick or a toy. That is the act of being penetrated that make me feel like a woman, no matter it is by a dick or a toy. |
| 1) Can you throw a picture up with a shout out to reddit in your pubes or something so we know it's you? | 1) May be trying to get one. |
| 2) Are you going to get a new one? | 2) You mean the penis? I do not think it is possible to get a new one. |
| 3) Do you still have sexual urges? Is it possible to deal with them? | 3) Psychologically I still have sexual urges but it is now impossible to deal with. |
| 4) Have you had a girlfriend since then? | 4) I do not have a girlfriend since then. I had girlfriends in my university years (I had my university study in UK by scholarship) but after I returned to Pakistan after university I do not have any girlfriend. |
| 5) What short and long term goals are you most excited about? | 5) I do not have any short and long term goals now. I understand that now I am difficult to have a girl marry me and have my family and I do not have any planning for my future. |
| 6) How painful was the surgery? | 6) The surgery was done under general anesthesia and so strictly speaking it is not painful. In the first few days after the surgery the wound was painful but pain-killer was countinued given to cure the pain. After about a month the pain was already insignificant. |
| 7) Did you have any sort of last go before the surgery? | 7) You mean sex? I did not had any last go before the surgery as the doctor told HPV is an infectio disease and will transfer through sex. |
| 8) Do you believe the US governments official story about OBL? | 8) You mean Osama Bin Laden? I believe the US government would kill him no matter there was any counter-attack or not so believe or not the result was the same. |
| 9) Do you pee sitting down now? | 9) Yes, I have to pee sitting down now. |
| 10) What are you most sad/happy about? | 10) I think that I am no longer a complete man and I am sad about that. |
| So you caught this dick destroying virus in the UK? That does not surprise me. Does slightly worry me though (I live there). Edit: Now serious point, have you contacted former sexual partner(s)? you really should, it could save someone else going through this. thanks. | Advice by doctors : always have safe sex or have the HPV vaccine even if you are a male. |
| Would you rather have a dick and no testes or no dick and no testes? | No dick and no testes. |
| Your doctors didn't have you freeze your sperm for future use? | No, they didn't do that and I neither had asked for that. |
| My gynecologist is writing a study on how she feels HPV is more than just an STD, that it can be transferred by any type of touch or body contact. It's just way too common to just be an STD. | Yes, you are right, but the main route of infection is still through sexual contact. |
| I hate how some doctors won't give it to their patients who asked for it. My boyfriend (at the time) went to get STD tested and I told him to ask for the HPV vaccination. Doctor dismissed his concern and didn't give it to him. :/ | I understand that at least in UK the doctors are encourging boys to have HPV vaccination. |
| During my university year I had asked my doctor for hepatitis-B vaccination and he asked me why I asked for that. I told him my girlfriend was tested being hepatitis-B positive. |
| In hindsight, do you regret not freezing your sperm? Are you still interested (if ever) in having children through for example adoption? | Somewhat regret but thing had gone. |
| What positives have come out of this? (other then not dyeing of cancer!) | I think less about girls and do not have to spend any money on girls. |
| A lot of women would be happy to marry a man who would never try to fuck them. | But that is not the case in Pakistan. |
| What has been the biggest adjustment for you that you didn't expect would be so challenging? | The most annoying thing is many others are looking at me in strange and no longer see me as a full-man. My beard is lossing and my body-shape is changing and many others began to see me in strange. |
| Also, how did you determine you needed to be screened for cancer at such a young age? | I found there was a lump in my penis and some pain in my left testicle about a year and a half ago and so I went to the doctor for check. The doctor required me to be screened for cancer. |
| Don't they have you on hormone therapy? (I've heard you can have a lot of side effects when you don't have proper hormone therapy, a minor one is losing your beard, which is why I ask.) Edit: I saw a later response. That sucks man. | Hormone therapy is too expensive for me. |
| Is there no way for you to leave the country? Even if you love the country and its your home... You need better medical care than you're getting and you need a culture that will accept you. Move to a place where you get health care and men aren't measured by their beards. | I have no money to leave my country. So forget it. |
| Talk to them about it. If they don't know they can't make it better. Nothing takes more strength than showing vulnerability. | They are just acting normal in the context of our society and religion and I think it is somewhat useless in talking with them. |
| Do you still feel it like you would an amputated leg? As in, do you have a ghost dick? | Yes, sometimes I feel that the amputated penis is still there and still feel the itchy or something like that. Doctor said that is normal. |
| How bad was your HPV infection? Can you go into more detail about how it turned into cancer? | HPV virus is usually not detectable in man unless it turn into some disease, such as cancer. And it is not always the case HPV virus will turn into cancer, but there is the risks. |
| You are a sick man, you need serious psychiatric help, quit pretending to be a person who has suffered a penectomy all you are doing is making a joke of the poor souls who have suffered such a trauma, army vets etc...your account at reddit should be terminated, the pic you posted as proof is an image of a female's genitals..do you think we are all such fools? | The most significant difference is lack of clitoris and labia majora. You can check. |
| I'm sorry for your condition. I am curious about the side effects you might be experiencing. I imagine that either with your testicles removed or medication that they are trying to regulate your hormons and help curb your sex drive. Also is there a hose/mechanical solution for using the restroom or is it just a hole? Does this effect your personal grooming habits down there? What would you like people to know? | I am not on any hormonal therapy at this moment as that is too expensive for me. For the urethra, the doctors cut the urethra short and made a new opening, but the bladder muscle for controling the urine flow is still retained. Nevertheless, it took me a few months through exercise and practice to take control the new urination opening. Now I have to sit or squat to piss, and the piss will wet my ass and I have to clean up after piss, just as a woman. |
| A lot of people are being rather insensitive here. I'm sorry you have to deal with those kinds of comments. Nevertheless, you are more of a man than most guys I know. A man's character is tested when he's subjected to a hardship, and you seem to be handling this amazingly well. My heart goes out to you, man. Have you considered moving to another country, where people might be more accepting, and/or you could afford hormones therapy? | I do not think I would move to another country. I still value my culture and society. |
| Do you have phantom pain? Because I think I just experienced it on your behalf. | I do not have phantom pain, but have phantom feeling sometimes as the penis was still there. |
| Can they rebuild you a new penis? They do female to male operations...or hear me out on this...maybe doctors could just make you a vagina...it would be better than having nothing? | Yes, but that will be expensive which I cannot afford. And in any event it is not a real one and is no compensation to a real one. |
| Have you considered re-aligning your gender to a more feminine identity? I mean, if you're not going to feel male any more, you might as well get to be one of the few humans who understands what it is to feel both male and female in one life. Or at least... The few times I've played the 'what if I had no choice but to get castrated' game, I always assumed I would simply go fully monty in the other direction because... well, why not? | I have never thought about being a woman. However, as some others from here said, I should consider all alternatives open to me. |
| What were your symptoms beforehand? If I might ask. | I had a minor pain in my left testicle for some time but I did not take care of that. I had no other symptoms before I found the small lump near the base of my penis. |
| Thanks for replying. Do you know if HPV always leads to this? I have read that it just goes away over time, but now I am not so sure. Thanks again for replying. Good luck with everything in the future. | HPV will not go away over time, but just it may not cause any problem to you throughout your life. |
| Would you think a transition to trans female would be too extreme? | Yes, it is too extreme and I never think of that. However, as some others said, I should consider all alternatives open to me. |
| Do you know how you got HPV ? | The doctors said it was very likely from sexual contact, with one of my ex-girlfriend. |
| Looks like a woman. Are we being scammed? | The most significant difference is lack of clitoris and labia majora. You can check. |
| Why haven't you killed yourself? I know I would... | I had that in my mind for one or two times, but I lack the courage to do that. |
| Was she a promiscuous slut ? I think it's extremely rare in PAK right ? | Not a Pakistan girl. I have my university study in UK and have girlfriends in the university years. |
| Do you sing? There is currently some operas that require a Castrato voice, but for obvious reasons are now performed by women... | I do not sing and never thought about the thing you suggested. |
| Fair enough. Next question: have you watched Game of Thrones, and do you see yourself as having the capability of being as awesome as Varys (who is a eunuch)? | Sorry, I have not seen that TV show. |
| Ahhh sorry dude those (99%) brit bitches are dirtier than south asian slum prostitutes. | Sorry, I do not share with you. The reason is only I had unprotected sex with my girlfriends. |
| When you get a boner. What does it feel like? | That is some feeling in the memory, not in the body. |
| Assalamu alaykum. Take whatever solace you can in the fact that you have the full respect and admiration of Reddit. | Which I cannot get the same from my family and others around in Pakistan. |
| Who cares about hormones when you have no penis...there's no way to feel manly no matter how many hormones you take. | You have the point exactly. |
| It's hard because it's not a one time thing. He doesn't need surgery - he needs medicine - for the rest of his live. Regular payments are not exactly reddit's strength. | You are right. The testostorance therapy will be for 30 to 40 years and not an one-off thing. So please forget the donation. |
| I cannot imagine having a sexual urge with no way to release it. All I can say is I hope you find peace with your altered body and find constructive ways to channel the torrent of emotions I'm sure you experience. | The experience is really really annoying and upset. It just like you want to eat and there is some delicious food before you but you cannot take them. |
| The proof he provided was a picture a a woman's genitalia , kick this jerk off the site for posting obviously immature, nonsensical and offensive material...offensive to those who have had to suffer such an operation that is... | The most significant difference is lack of clitoris and labia majora. You can check. |
