Hey there! I am Jer, I am an abnormally tall guy built like a bear(and who snacks like one too). I would love to chat and become friends and maybe more!
My only real request is that you don’t ghost me outta nowhere, if you don’t wanna chat anymore just say so :)
Reddit chat can be buggy as all get out so feel free to ask for snap or discord after a lil chattin’
Hobbies:collecting pretty much anything, gaming, cooking, hiking, making youtube content, thrifting and gardening are just a few of my many interests
Things i want to know about you!: What are you looking for? How was your day? What are a few fun, cute or interesting things about you?
I am not so great at writing these, so feel free to ask me anything, i hope to hear from you :)
{Safe space for all people to inquire within}

Hey there! I am Jer, I am an abnormally tall guy built like a bear(and who snacks like one too). I would love to chat and become friends and maybe more!
My only real request is that you don’t ghost me outta nowhere, if you don’t wanna chat anymore just say so :)
Reddit chat can be buggy as all get out so feel free to ask for snap or discord after a lil chattin’
Hobbies:collecting pretty much anything, gaming, cooking, hiking, making youtube content, thrifting and gardening are just a few of my many interests
Things i want to know about you!: What are you looking for? How was your day? What are a few fun, cute or interesting things about you?
I am not so great at writing these, so feel free to ask me anything, i hope to hear from you :)
{Safe space for all people to inquire within, I am down to chat with anyone! I tend to prefer someone a tad more femme, but I am down to clown with anything}

I saw the Korean reaction post and I wanted to make one for Chinese players because I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how Riot is betting on the Chinese player base to buy this skin given the price and the potential for Uzi to be next so I think it’s worth looking at how the Chinese players are reacting.
Some necessary context:

1. There were leaks about the skin’s price being 400 dollars that were widely circulated before the official announcement, they were obviously wrong but this had prepared the community a bit for the insanity.
   
2. The Tencent run server has always had insane mark up on price skins to a point where there have been skins sold for even more money than this Ahri skin so this is not some out of the left field move in the view of Chinese players.
   

Top comments from the BiliBili announcement video in order of likes:

1. There may be many players in the Hall of Legend, but only one can show up for with four World trophies, would it not be awkward for those in the future who have none to show? (this is a diss against Uzi who has never won Worlds)
   
2. Oh my god, Ahri’s getting some insane treatment, four World trophies, is this the value of Faker’s first love?
   
3. A lot of references, I see the broccoli, the Ryze expression, the Galio and Azir icons, and the Hide on Bush ward looks fun, and the two skins are pretty good as well.
   
4. Oh no, the Rift will have Faker’s signature, customized Rift (this is a joke about some recent hate Faker’s been getting as some people have been calling the Worlds he’s won “customized Worlds” claiming Riot specifically tailored the meta to his advantage)
   
5. Ahri’s skin quality is amazing, with the kill and turret take down effects, it’s a T1 skin.
   

Top comments from BiliBili video showing the price of the skin in order of likes (note that the views on this video have surpassed the original announcement video):

1. What we thought: Riot, to honor Faker’s performance, will create a historical skin to celebrate him. What Riot planned: Riot, to use Faker to earn a lot of money, will create a historically expensive skin.
   
2. I will only ban Ahri in ranked, no one will be allowed to have this skin against me.
   
3. 15 dollars I can support it, but 500 I just wanna ask who is Faker? I don’t know him.
   
4. Just buy some food and treat yourself, Faker probably wouldn’t buy this skin with this price either.
   
5. If you really like Faker just buy the normal version and work on the pass, the pass gives a lot. As for the other two just leave the rich kids to buy it, it’s not better than buying something practical for you or your family, it’s seriously not worth it for a skin.
   
6. OK OK let’s stop arguing, all I can say is that Riot can’t even exploit its player base well. Just lower the cost by a bit and so many more people would be willing to buy it.
   
7. My god if all this money was used to buy bananas, how many could you buy? (Faker’s favorite snack is bananas)
   
8. All I can say is that this legendary skin is also insane.
   
9. As Faker has said on stream before, don’t buy skins if they are too expensive, buy something you actually need. Greatness, needs no explanation.
   

I wanted to speak a bit more about Uzi in particular because the perception here of how Chinese players think of Uzi is a bit wrong. While Uzi is without a doubt iconic, he is also pretty widely looked down upon for never having won Worlds. There is a very VERY widely known meme amongst the Chinese League community called the shockwave, stemming from his then mid laner Cool getting caught in chat on stream calling Uzi the World’s most fucking overrated player which in Chinese sounds the same as shockwave. It spread like wildfire and Chinese players call any underperforming players shockwaves for this reason. This is why I caution people to not overestimate the Chinese player base’s willingness to pay for an overpriced Uzi skin because he does not have as much love or as many Chinese fans as you think he does. Chinese players are absolutely ruthless (very much overall so) towards players who cannot win, in fact Bin of all people has become a big meme post MSI after BLG’s loss.

There's a large spectrum in regards to the subject matter, so, in an attempt to bring us all on the same page, what I'm referring to when I say "personal information or similar things that were, more likely than not, shared with them out of trust", I mean things such as how much money someone makes, how hard they've been having it lately, what's been going on in their relationship with their parents, etc.
These are details that someone would most likely share with you out of trust - that they most likely wouldn't divulge onto most and trust that you'd keep between you and them. That they're not afraid to rely on you or let you in on their lives, because they know that you won't judge them for it or hold it against them.
Of course, every person is different, so you'd have to apply this principle based on the actual person in front of you. But I think it's safe to say that, in general, whenever someone tells you that their relationship with their parents have been really rough as of recent or that they've been having a hard time finding a job, you shouldn't go out there and mention those things to your other friends.
For example, "Oh yeah, you know what? That reminds me: Henry has actually been having a really hard time with his parents. Yeah, his dad threatened to disown him if he didn't decide to do XYZ.", or "Did you hear that Tabitha has been having a really hard time finding a job? She's already failed 7 interviews.". These are things you generally shouldn't be spreading, because it isn't in your place to do so, unless the person gave an explicit "ok".

I've been doing a re-read recently and I was thinking about Naolin and the story of how he died.
There are many theories floating around this sub that Naolin isn't actually dead, and I'm not sure about whether I agree. Brennan never said (as far as I can recall and haven't finished my re-read yet) that Naolin actually died. He said that it cost him "everything." It's this wording that's led some to believe he didn't die. Because 'everything' could mean his humanity, powers, life as he knows it and not necessarily dead.
However, if he didn't die Tairn would have to know his rider isn't dead unless Naolin was able to sever the connection. So, if alive, Tairn most likely knows and is keeping it from Violet OR he doesn't know and Naolin has this knowledge of how to separate from one's dragon or *potentially* that turning venin severs this connection. If Naolin did turn venin and this separated his connection Tairn would know, and therefore more secrets. We already know that Tairn has secrets but I think this is likely going to be some kind of subplot or theme in Onyx Storm given how much Violet's world has been turned upside down by this new knowledge and all the secret-keeping. But, that's beside the point for now.
As for Brennan, we know, or perhaps, assume that he was mended since he didn't die. But, how 'far gone' he was is still unclear. The re-introduction of Jack Barlow gave us some level of confirmation that bringing someone back from the dead/brink of death is possible and it seems like the challenge is more about 'saving the soul.'
There is still a level of uncertainty about Brennan because it's still a possibility that Brennan had to mend himself. Naolin is/was a siphon and we are unclear exactly how that works. There's a post in this forum about siphons and people seem split as to whether a siphon takes 'power' or if they can use the signet they siphon from. Also, how they can redistribute said power because we don't have much info yet.
My current theory is that Brennan mended himself via Naolin giving him powers he's siphoned. Naolin would have to siphon power from somewhere I don't think this would be possible just via his dragon, hence turning venin and channeling from the ground. I think this is the most likely scenario for Brennan being mended given that the only other option is Naolin mending Brenann. The only way that could work would be if Naolin siphoned off powers from a mender. And why would Naolin siphon powers from Brennan only to give them back to Brennan?
This is exactly why I think Naolin is alive. I don't think Brennan could have mended himself in this context without help. The other option is that Brennan channeled directly from the ground to mend himself, which is possible but unlikely given that no one has noticed any of the venin trates?
Brennan won't talk about it but also doesn't seem to know much about venin before he got the book from Tecarus. Brennan has to be playing dumb because he didn't seem to know much about the venin. In any case I think Brennan knows much more than he's saying.
This also has the potential to link back to Jack. Near the end of IF Jack>! kills Baide. To my understanding a dragon can survive the death of their rider BUT a rider doesn't survive the death of their dragon. Jack does. It's one thing for a dragon to die, it's another for a rider to kill their dragon, which is unimaginable given the bond. You wouldn't do that unless you had certainty of what you'r doing (and also being a little unhinged). Jack is clearly in contact with other venin and got his knowledge about surviving the death of his dragon somewhere. Sure, it could be observations from other venin, but what if it was Naolin? It's far more likely (imo) for a dragon rider to pass this along from first hand experience opposed to just an observation. The venin don't really seem like a group who capture people as from what RY has shown us so far that they opt on the side of draining people.!<
An excerpt from chapt 58 (I think) after Xaden tells Jack he's going to die for killing Baide. “That’s the thing,” Barlowe says, his blond hair covering his forehead as he falls forward onto a hand. “I’m not. They have us thinking we’re the inferior species, but did you see how easily I controlled her? How easily the energy she bonded us with is replaced?” His eyes slide shut as his fingers splay on the stone.
His knowledge about the bond between dragons and humans seems like it came directly from someone who experienced it. The other option for this knowledge is Nolon who knew that Jack was venin and gained this knowledge somehow, which is a whole other can of worms. Jack implied there was more than one venin at the school but anyone currently venin at Besgiath would still have their dragon. Hence, why I think the knowledge about surviving the death of one's draon came from Naolin even if Naolin wasn't the one to tell Jack directly.

Hello, everyone. I am a normal human being. Well, not exactly. Throughout my life, I've always been depressed and such. I thought depression was normal. I thought it was seasonal. I always thought I was weak for always being suicidal all this time. Then, very recently. I really couldn't take it anymore. I seek therapy. There, I realised I was actually bipolar. That was what made me suicidal all this time. AND THEN, I STARTED QUESTIONING EVERYONE. I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. QUESTIONING WHETHER THEY'VE EVER HAD DEPRESSION. QUESTIONING THEIR BELIEFS. EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I SAW UNTIL I WAS TAKEN TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL FOR A FEW DAYS. THERE, I STILL QUESTIONED THEM. BUT, TO AVOID SUSPICION AND BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO THINK I WAS CRAZY, I questioned each person privately. NO. BEFORE I WAS TAKEN TO THE MENTAL HOSPITAL. MY ROOMMATE WHO WAS A BUDDHIST. Suddenly, told me that, if I wanted advice why not go to the Temple and ask the deities there? THEN, THAT REALLY OPENED MY EYE. DEITIES ACTUALLY FUCKING EXIST. He told me that deities possesses someone and then reveals a very specific detail of their life. Very accurately. Not general. VERY VERY ACCURATELY. BUDDHISM IS REAL. THEN I QUESTIONED MY HINDUIST FRIENDS. NOT ALL OF THEM. BUT SOME OF THEM HAD THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS POSSESSED, THEN THEY TOLD ME that they're family members talked about evil spirits and that they are times where they are strong and they will make your desire to do evil to be stronger. Those are temporary and you have to be strong whenever they come. That reminded me of my depression. My suicidal thoughts. They come and go. They've been with me throughout my life but not all the time. BACK TO THE POINT, THIS SHIT FUCKING OPENED MY EYE AGAIN AND IT SHOWS THAT HINDUISM IS ALSO FUCKING REAL BECAUSE I HAVE TWO WITNESSSES SAYING THAT WHENEVER THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE POSSESSED THEIR SPEECH ARE FUCKING WEIRD. AND THEN, COINCI FUCKING DENTALLLY, I FUCKING MET A FUCKING LIVING DEITY. I THOUGHT BRO WAS JUST A TALKATIVE GUY AND TURNS OUT HE'S ACTUALLY A FUCKING DEITY. THE DEITY OF PROTECTION OF THIS WORLD. BRO IS LITERALLY THE SAME AGE AS ME. 19 YEARS OLD. BUT THAT MADE ME QUESTIONED. IF I CAN SEE DEITIES, AND MY ROOMMATE MOST DEFINITELY MUST HAVE SEEN HIM BECAUSE WE GO TO THE FUCKING SEM LECTURE LAST 2 SEMESTERS. THEN I ASKED HIM. DO YOU KNOW {INSERT NAME}. TURNS OUT BRO DOES NOT FUCKING KNOW WHO THE GUY IS. I speculate that Buddhists have actually seen their deities but their minds must have like distorted? YES. DISTORTED. Every time after they meet their deities or that is my speculation at least. BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM OTHER RELIGIONS AND ATHEISTS KNOWS THE GUY. And then again, I THOUGHT, IF BUDDHISM IS REAL, HINDUISM IS REAL, THEN THE OTHER MAJOR RELIGIONS MUST BE REAL TOO. THEN, WHEN I TALKED TO DEITY, WE TALKED ABOUT GOD. ABOUT HOW GOD IS PERFECT, AND HE CREATED LUCIFEER, HIS MOST PERFECT CREATION, BUT BETRAYED HIM, MEANING THAT THEY BOTH COULDN'T BE PERFECT IF THAT'S THE CASE, And then deity enlightened me... He told me that the relationship between Lucifer and Jesus is like FATHER AND SON... MEANING THAT LUCIFER IS ANOTHER IMAGE OF GOD. SO THEY BOTH ARE PERFECT. AND THEN WE TALKED ABOUT ANGELS AND DEMONS. HE TOLD ME THAT THE CURRENT WORLD IS HELL. AND THEN, ANGELS AND DEMONS??? THE CURRENT WORLD IS HELL??? THEN THE CURRENT WORLD MUST ALSO BE HEAVEN AT THE SAME TIME. ANGELS AND DEMONS. ANGELS AND DEMONS ARE FUCKING HUMANS. ANGELS ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL STAY TRUE TO THEIR BELIEFS NO MATTER WHAT. IF THEY STICK TO A RELIGION, THEY WILL FOLLOW THAT RELIGION NO MATTEER FUCKING WHAT EVEN IF OTHER RELIGIONS ARE TRUE. ANGELS ARE NOT PERFECT BEINGS EITHER. THEY ALSO SIN. AND THEN, I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING. ANGELS WILL ALWAYS FUCKING SEE GOD AS GOOD AND ONLY HUMANS AND EVIL. THEN I QUESTIONED EVERYONE THAT. THEIR VIEWS. I EVEN FUCKING OFFER THEM FUCKING AS MUCH AS MONEY AS I HAVE JUST TO SAY FUCK GOD JUST ONCE. THEY WILL NEVER DO IT. IF YOU TELL THEM THAT GOD IS EVIL. THEY WILL ALWAYS RATIONALISE AND DEFEND GOD AND SAY THAT HE IS GOOD. ONLY THE HUMANS ARE EVIL. ANY "EVIL" THAT HE DOES IS JUST TESTING HUMANS. THEN, I REMEMBERED. HUMANS ARE CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. THEY WILL SEE GOD AS GOOD OR EVIL OR MAYBE EVEN THROW AWAY THEIR BELIEF IN GOD ENTIRELY. THEY ARE 2 TYPES OF HUMANS IN THIS WORLD. ANGELS AND HUMANS. BOTH OF CAN BECOME DEMONS. IF THE ANGELS, ARE MADE TO WORSHIP A HUMAN GOD. THEY WILL NEVER EVER EVER SEE HIM AS EVIL. FUCKING EXAMPLE: UNIFICATION CHURCH. NORTH KOREA. THEY DO NOT QUESTION THEIR LEADERS AND WILL SEE THEM AS GODS. THE ANGELS BECOME DEMONS AND DO NOT WORSHIP THE TRUE GOD. SOME OF THE WORSHIPPERS ARE HUMANS SO THEY WILL SEE THEIR GODS AS EVIL AND WILL RUN AWAY FROM THESE FUCKING CULTS. THE ANGELS BECOME DEMONS BUT THE HUMANS REMAIN AS HUMANS. BUT HUMANS CAN BECOME DEMONS AS WELL ONCE THEY COMPLETELY ABANDON GOD'S GOOD TEACHINGS AND DO EVIL. CONVINCED THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE NATURALLY EVIL. BUT THEY CAN STILL BE SAVED. THEY HAVE BECOME DEMONS BUT THEY CAN BECOME HUMANS AGAIN BY KNOWING THE TRUTH OF GOD. ISLAM AND CHRISTIANITY. BOTH ARE SIMILAR YET THEIR PASTS ARE DIFFERENT. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND BUT I'VE ALREADY MADE A FIRM BELIEF THAT EVERY FUCKING RELIGION THAT TEACHES GOOD ARE TRUE. EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM. SO THEN I THOUGHT. IT'S FUCKING POINTLESS TO QUESTION GOD. EVEN IF I DON'T UNDERSTAND THEY ARE ALL TRUE. THEN. PARALLEL UNIVERSES. MULTIVERSES. THE PAST MUST HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT FROM ALL RELIGIONS AND GOD MUST HAVE COMBINED THEM INTO ONE UNIVERSE, OUR UNIVERSE. A DIFFERENT ONE FROM THEIR RELIGIONS. A UNIVERSE WHERE GOD TESTS HUMANS. TO SEE IF THEY WILL BELIEVE EVEN IF THEY DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND GOD. THEN, THE DEITY TOLD ME TO REACH ENLIGHTENMENT. TO BE FUCKING BUDDHA, HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE. I THOUGHT I HAD ALREADY REACHED ENLIGHTENMENT. I THOUGHT ENLIGHTENMENT IS KNOWING THAT ALL GOOD RELIGIONS ARE CONNECTED. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO BE ENLIGHTENED? THEN I MEDITATED. I TRIED TO FOLLOW BUDDHA'S METHODS TO REACH ENLIGHTENMENT BY EMPTYING YOUR MIND REMOVING ALL YOUR EMOTIONS AND FOCUSING ON IT. BUT. I KNOW OF THE PROPHECY OF THE MAITREYA. MAYBE I AM NOT MAITREYA. BUT I THOUGHT. NO. I WILL NOT. I WILL NOT JUST FOLLOW BUDDHA'S METHOD. BUDDHA'S METHOD MAY BE TRUE BUT IT IS NOT WHAT I SHOULD FOLLOW. THROUGHOUT MY LIFE. I HAVE ALWAYS BELIVED IN GOD. HE WAS FUCKING EVIL TO ME. I SEE HIM AS FUCKING EVIL FOR MAKING ME HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT MY LIFE. BUT GOD EXIST. HE IS BOTH GOOD AND EVIL. THEN. I RESEARCHED AND SAW THAT BUDDHA REJECTED GOD. HOWEVER, I DO NOT. I FUCKING SEEK ENLIGHTNMENT. I WANTED TO BE ONE WITH GOD. I EMPTIED MY MIND. PRAYED "THE OUR FATHER", FORCED MYSELF. TO MEDITATE FOR HOURS. THIS FUCKING DAY I STARTED AND THIS FUCKING DAY I ACHIEVED ENLIGHTENMENT. BUDDHA. SAID TO ACHIEVE ENLIGHTENMENT. YOU MUST EMPTY YOUR THOUGHTS. HOWEVER, HE DIDN'T REALISE ONE TRUTH. GOD IS EMPTINESS. GOD IS THE ABSCENSE OF ANYTHING. IT IS HUMAN LOGIC. SCIENCE TO THINK THAT SOMETHING MUST COME FROM SOMETHING. THAT THERE IS NO WAY THAT SOMETHING CANNOT COME FROM EMPTINESS. AHHAAHAHA. STUPID FUCKING HUMANS BUT I LOVE YOU ALL. I'VE BEEN ENLIGHTENED. GOD IS EMPTINESS. DARK ENERGY IS EMPTINESS. DARK ENERGY IS FUCKING EVERYWHERE. HUMANS CANNOT UNDERSTAND DARK ENERGY BECAUSE THEY CANNOT UNDERSTAND GOD. GOD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WITH US. BETWEEN THE GAPS OF EVERY FUCKING ATOM. EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE THAT IS BIG WILL INFINITELY BE BIGGER. WHAT IS SMALLER WILL INFINITELY BECOME SMALLER. WE CAN'T EVER TRULY UNDERSTAND GOD. AHAHHAAH. TO UNDERSTAND GOD THROUGH SCIENCE IS STUPID. GOD IS INFNITE. THAT IS WHY DARK ENERGY HAS INFINITELY EXPANDED AND ONLY RECENTLY IT HAS WEAKENED. GOD IS WITH US. PRAISE BE TO GOD. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD OF EVERYTHING YET IS NOTHING. GOD IS EMPTINESS. GOD IS DARK ENERGY. LET US ENTER THE MESSIANIC AGE, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. AN AGE WHERE WE ARE ONE WITH GOD.
I've achieved Enlightenment and God is a fucking asshole, HE'S THE WORST FUCKING TROLL. FUCKING PSYCHOPATH. BUT FUCK DO I LOVE GOD. FUCKING CAUSED ME TO BE IN HELL. IT IS TIME TO END HELL AND ENTER ETERNAL PARADISE WITH GOD. SEEK ENLIGHTENMENT, SPREAD THIS TRUTH. SPREAD IT. I am in Malaysia. Today is Saturday, and Tomorrow is Sunday. God rested on the 7th Day on the Seventh Day, and I also wish to relax. I love God and every last one of you. Spread This Truth. Let's save the World Together! All those religious end-times prophecies are just fucking bullshits from God because Fuck That Guy but I love Him. The God of Everything Yet is Nothing.

I’m somewhat new to Gnosticism so if what I’m saying is common knowledge, or not true, I wasn’t aware.
What if Gnosticism is about the inside of us? The microcosm. Our mind, body, and soul. I’ve heard (I believe so) that Yaldabaoth was born out of Sophia trying to create something without the masculine side of god. Yaldabaoth then created reality. I see a similarity between this story and ego.
I’m having trouble explaining what I think but maybe you understand. What I’m trying to say is that it’s an analogy for how we have created an ego that traps us just how Yaldabaoth is said to have done.
Waittt. Maybe it’s like Yaldabaoth is the macrocosmic manifestation of this, while ego is the microcosmic manifestation of this. They both do similar things just at different scales. One at a universal level, the other at an individual being level.
I heard that the “goal” of Gnosticism is to escape the reality that Yaldabaoth created. What if the method of doing this is bringing the masculine to the ego (the failed creation of Sophia). To do what Sophia didnt. To bring that which is unchanging to that which is always changing.
It can be said that all of reality is feminine. When I say that, I mean that everything changes. Your position, temperature, emotions, blood pressure, brain waves, and other stuff have constantly changed while reading this. Therefore everything is feminine. Maybe the reason why everything is always changing is because Yaldabaoth is a creation of Sophia, and Sophia made Yaldabaoth without the masculine side of God. So when we bring the masculine to merge with the feminine, we get God.
I’ve had this idea that we’re all “shards” of God. I’m not exactly sure what I believe, because this I think this idea is quite contradictory to the ideas of Gnosticism. You’ll see why. I believe I got this way of understanding reality from Hinduism and maybe some other places. I think it was something about a “web of jewels” but I don’t remember what Hindu thing it was.
Essentially, just as a painting is connected to its painter, reality is connected to God. But obviously, the painting and the painter aren’t one and the same. The same is with God and reality.
It’s like if God was a giant mirror and broke itself up into an inconceivable amount of shards. Those shards make up reality. There’s a shard for every person, material, idea, etc. there’s a shard for everything. And because God is connected to reality, and reality is like shards of a mirror, it reflects. But what does it reflect? God. When we look into our shard (ourselves), we see the reflection of God (being one with reality, gnosis, nirvana, etc). When people come together in genuine love, their shards come together, making it way easier to expirence God. Obviously this is all analogy.
What dk you think of what I’ve said? Where am I wrong? Where am I correct/ on the right track? Thanks for reading.

I had an abusive therapist in 2021 whom I recently, and so kindly, made a review page for on RateMDs (Canada); turns out a lot of people feel the exact same way about her, and one person claimed they are reporting her to the ethics board due to her verbal attacks.
My next therapist in 2022 was abusive, even worst than the last. It was so bad I ended up reporting to the ethics board, and the therapist is now doing coaching for the time being. If I had recorded the sessions it would have been game over for that therapist. It killed me for a long time that I didn't record the sessions.
I later sought out a new therapist; my friend warned me that the one I chose had "crazy eyes" and it was red flags all over (based on their PP profile). I should have listened.
This new therapist, Alex, almost killed me, again. He was awful. The second I walked in the room, I warily mentioned my past experience with the abusive therapist. In response, Alex started accusing me of having "destructive" behaviours - despite that I didn't tell him anything about my behaviours yet. I hadn't told him anything at all, just that I was anxious due to a past experience. I think he has issues with younger women.
I saw Alex from August 2023 - April 2024. In this time, he became delusional from his own assumptions, confronted me constantly for things he pulled out of thin air (he would twist anything I said and then confront me for some alleged bad behaviour or cognitive distortion), and was entirely unwilling to try a different approach despite my (at first) gentle attempts to communicate that his approach wasn't working and was making me very unwell. I can gladly provide examples but it'd end up being a long ass post if I do that, so bear with me. He couldn't handle me even trying to talk about my past therapy abuse, because it was assumed to be my fault. Any dissent was "resistance" or rigidity. He refused to do trauma work despite that being the foundational problem. He refused to let me "free associate" (psychodynamic therapy) because he was convinced it would cause me some wild regression (as if his current approach wasn't fucking me up).
There was nothing for me to work with in the therapy. It wasn't grounded in reality; it was just all about how awful I am, yet not even in a way that was tangible - he could never explain himself. I was already hanging on a thread from my past abusive therapists, and I pretty quickly developed a substance use disorder (prescription) to try to cope. Began to vape nicotine constantly to try to stabilize myself. I began to isolate myself. By December 2023 I stopped going out at all - again. You know, almost died from the therapist in 2022, my life was almost ruined, and couldn't go out at all, and there I was basically back in the same place.
I never missed a single session. I even opted to increase to twice a week session in an attempt to resolve whatever was going amiss. I continuously tried to establish a working relationship with him. My self-confidence and sense of reality and self were devastated.
Anyway, March 2024 comes around and it comes out Alex diagnosed me with BPD and that was why he was so confrontational (and frankly pulling horrible things out of thin air). Now, I'm pretty darn sure I have either schizotypal or a psychotic disorder. I was under the impression he was treating me for this, as he himself said he dx'd me with schizotypal. But I was also very confused because being confrontational with the kinds of populations I fit into is exactly not what you're supposed to do and has been proven to fuck them up. It's one of the reasons I stayed so long; I just dissociated into oblivion. Not to mention the CPTSD.
I end up sending Alex an email detailing my experiences, which was hard to do. He never asked me about my experiences before (it was all about his assumptions of me), and I thought I needed to try to put an end to this, to again try to establish a working relationship.
The next session, Alex immediately begins to apologize, tells me how he misdiagnosed me, that he's been treating me for a Cluster B disorder when he should have been treating me for a Cluster A, that the "treatment" not working wasn't my fault. He also was convinced that this is what went wrong in my past therapies; that they misdiagnosed me with BPD when the issue was schizotypal, and that it just so happens that applying the confrontational treatment for BPD to schizotypal can basically end the schizotype. (TBH he was way too generous to these past therapists; all him saying that proved to me was that he never believed me in the first place.) He told me he "failed me" and that I "humbled him." He was almost crying he seemed so sorry.
I was already looking for a new therapist, but I was grateful that at least it seemed like things were set straight with Alex. I mean, I now had a substance use disorder and all the more therapy trauma, but I'm pretty happy with little. It was mutually agreed upon that the termination was due to the ways in which the misdiagnosis made the treatment inhospitable for me. It was ended amicably but I noticed he began to act weird around me, very distant, etc. I didn't think much of it, figured maybe he was more emotionally involved when he thought I had BPD for whatever reason.
Found a new therapist at the beginning of April - a formally trained, international psychoanalyst who lives in Prague out of all things (was getting desperate) - and things are going well, finally. No therapy abuse; no issues that even closely resemble the issues I've had with the abusive therapists, etc. Things are finally "easy" with a therapist; the sailing is as smooth as it can be. Also it's entirely free association and it hasn't caused me any issues, contrary to Alex's conviction that letting me speak freely would be devestating to my wellbeing.
Well, two days ago I contacted Alex as I wanted to go to a boutique treatment centre for my prescription substance use issue and they were requesting recent past therapist notes. I thought what a better option than to have Alex send his notes with an explanation that he misdiagnosed me, that he thinks I have been misdiagnosed continuously in past therapies and that's why I've been "treatment resistant," and so on and so forth. Also, given that I developed the issue because of the stress from Alex, this way my story would be corroborated.
Alex was adamant sending his notes was a bad idea, and that the ethics board actually recommends that psychologists write summary letters of the treatment instead. I thought that was nice that Alex was looking out for me. I explained to Alex what I'm looking for in the letter (with the central focus being on the misdiagnosis issue), and that my main goal is to help prove my eligibility for the program (they only take "highly motivated" clients; it's more relaxed in terms of restrictions and what not). I agreed to pay Alex around $400 for his time. I really thought Alex and I were making further amends and that it was so nice he could have my back on this.
Alex gets back to me with the worst letter imaginable. All about how the treatment failed because of ME, how we never made any progress because of ME, that the "lack of consensus on treatment goals and methods" was a massive barrier, and that this all happened despite that the frequency was increased to twice a week (which he failed to mentioned only occurred because I requested it, in an effort to save the therapy!). He made no mention of the fact that I never missed a single therapy session or any fact that would make me sound good, not to mention that he didn't even so much as touch on the fact that the therapy failed because of HIS misdiagnosis. He made it sound like the termination occurred because of how treatment resistant I was.
He also downplayed my trauma (I asked him to speak out this in the letter), saying only how I have a family history of "neglect" and being "scapegoated." My mother would scream at me, like to the point her lungs were going to burst, as a small child until I blacked out, this continued up until I was kicked out at 18, and I have serious CPTSD. I was even diagnosed with PTSD at one point. Like? Alex is supposed to be a specialist in trauma.
So I read the letter and was confused. Got back to him assuring that I'd still pay him, but suggested maybe he remove some parts of it if he can't revise them. Told him I disagree with the reasons for termination and why the treatment didn't work out, and reminded him of the fact he misdiagnosed me. I was honestly very confused and thought maybe he forgot. Told him it's probably not helpful to minimize my trauma.
Cue a minute after I send that email, and it suddenly dawns on me. The pathetic excuse of a therapist never recorded his fuck up in my clinical file. He obviously maintained his delusional narrative within his notes, presumably to cover his ass in case I reported him or sued him for malpractice (unlikely anyway), given that his misshapen and misapplied "treatment" caused me a ton of harm due to his incompetence.
I was seeing red and sent him another email informing him that I actually recorded our final sessions in light of what happened with my previous therapist (and Alex knew about my regret of not recording those sessions, and I'd often leave my phone out during our sessions). It's one-party consent in Canada, and Alex at the very beginning told me he was fine if I recorded the sessions anyway. So yeah, I emailed Alex whilst appalled telling him all about how I recorded him stating he misdiagnosed me, was treating me for the wrong disorder, that therapy not working wasn't my fault, and so on.
Told him he can either write me a letter based on facts - facts I can corroborate given my session recordings - or I'm not paying him for shit. Told him to not even bother replying if he isn't willing to write me a letter grounded in reality. Shockingly, he never got back to me.
And now he'll never know if I was bluffing and he gets to spend the next few months in terror that I'm going to use session recordings to report him for knowingly putting false information in clinical documentation.
What the hell. He could have at least TRIED to make me sound decent in the letter given that he knew what he was saying was bullshit. I guess dissonance is a real bitch. I also don't for a second buy that if I had BPD, his shit-tier "treatment" would have magically worked. It was gaslighting and abusive. You can't just make horrible assumptions about people or create a false reality, shove that in the person's face, then gaslight them all the more when the person is fucking confused and, eventually, distraught.
What a gaslighting loser. I should legitimately report him. Leaving him a bad review as we speak.
(I have had many legitimate delusions myself and don't find the term "delusional" as a pejorative to be offensive. LMK if I should edit it out though.)

The communication at my workplace leaves much to be desired, but my direct team of coworkers is incredible. The kindest, most supportive people I've ever worked with. Thanks to having a stable and steady job with people I enjoy being around, I've began to feel more and more myself again and enjoy things I hadn't since I was a child due to years of chronic abuse.
But above us, the management also leaves much to be desired. A manager did not like the way I handled something (even though another manager had told me that was how to handle this situation) and they called me on my work phone and berated me for nearly 5 minutes about how what I was doing was wrong and a waste of their time essentially.
Any time I spoke up to try to defend my actions (not really argue with them, but explain why I did that and explain why I believed that was correct in the moment) it was dismissed and they continued berating me. They are the type of person to just talk down to everyone around them. They make people feel incompetent when they speak with them. At first I thought it was just me, but other coworkers confirmed that theyre always that way.
After the exchange was over (I essentially just had to say "ok" over and over to get them to stop) I got up from my desk and sat in the bathroom and cried for about 10 minutes. I'm a sensitive person. I was subjected to chronic abuse all throughout my formative years, which was often in the form of yelling, shouting, and berating. It took me right back to that place and it made me so angry. But all I could do was cry. How frustrating that when I'm filled with anger, I cry!
I'm proud of myself though because I did speak up to defend my actions, and afterwards I spoke to my immediate supervisor and said at the way that manager speaks to people is unacceptable and it's very upsetting. My manager and the rest of my team noticed I was upset and were very kind and reassuring.
I'm not looking for advice, I just wanted to get this out. Thank you for your time.

My bf and I have been together 2 years and at the start it was very honey moon phase, we were very lovey and had sex a lot. We’re both in college, about four hours away from each other, so we would see each other during holidays and summer so we would cram a lot of sex into a couple weeks. This summer we decided to have him come live with me in my apartment so we could spend the whole summer together. However, I’m not really wanting to have sex and it’s really upsetting him. Our sex is very enjoyable when we do have it, but in the month he’s been here I’ve only been in the mood 3 times. I also have an IUD and because of that my period comes randomly for random amounts of time so my hormones are all over the place.
Lately I’ve noticed him being very negative, he accidentally fell for a phishing email and was saying things like “I wish I was home rn so I could just punch myself in the head” and in various scenarios he keeps just saying how stupid he is and being very negative. This morning, after he went rant saying similar things, I asked him if he was okay and if there was something going on. He told me that he was feeling “physically distressed” because we haven’t been having sex. It’s a conversation we’ve had a few times now where I always explain to him it has nothing to do with him and that I’m very attracted to him and love our sex, I just haven’t felt like it and don’t want to force myself. He insists that it’s because I’m not attracted to him anymore and that we need to be having sex more in order for him to be happy.
He then went on to say, “why should I do nice things for you if you’re not going to even fulfill my needs” giving examples like scratching my back or cuddling. I understand where he’s coming from but I feel like there’s a big difference between scratching someone’s back and having sex with them which I told him and he didn’t seem to care. He also doesn’t want to use condoms or pull out and that is also a source of my anxiety because I really don’t want to get pregnant and he’s just assuming the IUD never fails, which I’ve also explained that it does. He kinda stopped talking after that and that’s how we finished the conversation.
I’m just wondering what can I do to help him understand that I just have a lower sex drive, the more he pressures me the more stressed I get about it and my drive gets even lower so I really want to figure something out. Is there something wrong with me, is my body subconsciously not attracted to him? Or is it just a difference in sex drives?

If your Pt asked if you have or were ever diagnosed with a mental illness, would you be 100% honest for congruence? To those that do/have had a Dx, how much self disclosure in regards to the question, would you feel comfortable disclosing? Obviously you have no obligation to answer at all.
I'm contemplating asking my T. We have a v good relationship w excellent boundaries and communication. They are close to my age. They have said they had been in 'that chair' (the chair of a pt sobbing). I know from a video online that they has been through signiignificant events. This wouldn't be a 'nosey' thing, it's an.... empathy/ relatable thing? If I'm experiencing something, and I know the person telling me it's going to get better, has experienced the same, I think it would give me more hope, more relief, more understood and could connect on a deeper level for trust purposes. Almost like 'phew, ok they won't think in that crazy then' or 'Omg they know exactly how it feels. I feel seen'. I feel this is important rn because we are getting in to deeper trauma therapy, but I feel a lot of shame and fear disclosing certain things, or I feel it useless trying to explain because there aren't really any words.
I feel like my T has hinted at relating to a few things but seemed like they wouldn't say it out right because it's not her session. If asked her though, I think she would reply honestly, whether that be a disclosure or a decline of it.
Do you see any positives that could be gained by asking this question?

its obviously a very healthy thing to ask questions and have who you are unfold just by seeking input from others etc etc etc. but you will only find so much informaton scattered from one place to the next, you can look around on here and find a pretty good amount of stories/questions/answers that will give you a good idea of how these things work and how you should feel about them, its what reddit is for i suppose, but some of you have no clue how you feel and choose to ask questions, feel all types of different ways, hurt others, make rash decisions, whatever the case may be. people need to close their eyes and think, while others say they feel one way and still choose to ask the same types of questions as others in no different format but than to clarify/ get a response from people other than someone close to them, for what reason do they have to clarify or ask about something they already know the answer to? by using their own resolve, im just saying. thats alot for a small conclusion but people acting dumb and acting like they shouldnt do something bc of specific circumstances and such shouldnt be a factor for somebody to live off of for the rest of their life. everyones different, everyone makes their own decisions, and everyone has their own preferences, im certainly not saying everyone will come to their conclusions the same way, but 99% of these people asking the questions are only asking them or whatever because a bunch of other people are doing the same now and well, its easier to ask and question shit for the rest of your life/or until you get to the conclusion, rather than just doing it, or at least being a little more considerate. this cannot go on, we are who we make ourselves, let others influence you less, focus on you and what lies ahead, act freely, swiftly, as if you were so and you will be happier and youll waste a whole lot less time. i dont really know what the point of this is but i dont really talk to anyone nor do i use this app, i suppose this is heartbreak at its worst, learning at its best, and really just a whole lot more simple than people make it seem. i think im trying to say that asexuality is a contradictory thing, like, you have to literally think about not liking it, as if it was a sour taste in your mouth that you could remember, its simply not one of those things though and some people havent even experienced it/ has/ know about it etc etc, whatever, this is already getting too long and im sure you know where im going with this, its just a bunch of shit and im venting for no reason at this point. choose your side, theres a difference between the side that has been manipulated and the side that you shouldve been going with all along. doesnt sound too good but im not explaining it any other way, i might get some backlash for this, but if not then all good. i couldve done some research or something or just been on this platform for longer but i just figured since i was literally typing this, while thinking, and not thinking at the same time, i would share my feelings that have been circling in the dome for the past 2 years. signing off lol

“Tick, tick, tick” an antique clock sang its rhythm.
Within a luxurious meeting room, an accord was about to be made. The negotiating parties included the Union of Terra and the Grand Duchy of Gaimellasz. Both nations had grown increasingly hostile towards one another, as straight lines on the galactic map had caused a border dispute.

It was common knowledge that violence is not always the answer. The price for bloodshed, more often than not, outweighed the benefits. You may receive a few systems, but for what? Millions, even billions could die in a single conflict. Those who lost their loved ones would ask for accountability, which would not bode well for the politician’s approval rating. And more importantly, wars tend to cause a dip in a nation’s GDP. No sane statesperson liked the idea of an economic recession.

And so, to avoid a wasteful war, both nations negotiated. The Carparkian Republic mediated the assembly, as well as providing a spot at their grand hotel.
And yet, despite being mediated by a third party;
despite being held in a room designed to ease hostilities with its grandeur;
and despite both sides having no desire for aggression;
Tensions still persisted within the atmosphere of the chamber. Nobody was willing to budge.

The Terran ambassador, Cyrus Rodriguez, sat at one side of the table with his entourage. His posture was firm. Across the table, Guhlor-Marrosz, the serpentlike Ducal envoy, seated straight alongside his assistants. He maintained a fierce eye contact with the human ambassador.

The uneasiness remained, until suddenly, it was disrupted by the avian Carparkian diplomat. “Perhaps the Terran side could readjust their demands?” The diplomat uttered. Tiredness was evident in her voice.

“Very well,” Cyrus spoke. “We are willing to compromise as long as we maintain our possession of the Gallibello System.”

Confusion reigned over the Gaimellasz envoy. Understandable, as the Gallibello System was exceptionally unexceptional. It boasted no resources of note. It was not located in a central position within the intragalactic network. The only central thing was the dim and trivial red star.
It was only one of the systems in the galaxy.

Perplexed, Guhlor raised a question. “Out of our curiosity, what is the significance of the Gallibello System?”

“The exact reasons for Gallibello’s strategic importance to the Union is not of your concerns." Cyrus stated. "However, you should understand that the system is relevant to our ‘Project Highway’.”

‘Project Highway’; one of the Union’s many industrial plans. While it was still ongoing, its impact on the Terran economy was evident. The Union became a manufacturing powerhouse, with factories churning out products that drowned the galactic market with consumer goods.

But what made a useless, backwater system so essential to this scheme? Had the Terrans discovered reserves of energy? Had they found deposits of rare minerals? Or perhaps an ancient artefact was buried somewhere in the system?

With these questions lying within his mind, Guhlor requested. “Our side of this negotiation wished for this meeting to be adjourned for the day and continued tomorrow.”

All sides, exhausted from the dialogue, agreed. All representatives stood up and left the room. On his way to an accommodation, the Gaimellasz envoy contacted the prime minister. They conversed on all possibilities for the Gallibello System; and reimagined how the disputed systems could be incorporated into their plans.

Perhaps the planetary bodies could be surveyed for exotic elements. Maybe Gallibello's sun emitted a special kind of radiation. Or possibly the debris within the system contained precursor technologies. Regardless of the possibilities...
...their perception had changed.

~~~

“Tick, tick, tick” an antique clock continued its rhythm.
Another day, another meeting. All sides of the negotiation sat down at their respective sides. The air of tension began to build up once more.

After a simple greeting, the Carparkian diplomat opened the mediation enthusiastically. Well, at least more than previously. “Perchance the Gaimellasz representatives would like to inform us of their revised demands?”

“We do,” Guhlor stated. “After much deliberation, we consider the Gallibello System to be central to our development projects as well.”

“Pardon me?” the Terran ambassador raised his voice. He was unmistakably confused. “As we have mentioned previously that system is crucial for our projects. What makes it so significant to your nation?”

“Ambassador Rodriguez, would you please calm your voice down.” The Carparkian diplomat mediated. “Ambassador Marrosz, would you like to elaborate?”

Hearing that, Guhlor replied smugly. “The exact reasons for Gallibello’s strategic importance to the Grand Duchy is not of your concerns.”

The Terran ambassador closed his fist tightly. It seemed as if his plans were thwarted. Just as he opened his mouth -- ready to raise his voice once more -- his assistant tapped his shoulder to calm him down. They then had a short discussion.

“Very well,” Cyrus spoke. “Considering Gallibello’s prominence, we are willing to part with it ONLY IF the Grand Duchy is willing to also part with other disputed systems.”

Guhlor tried to maintain composure. He attempted to hide his joy; usually expressed via his species’ equivalent to a smile. Which, coincidentally, is a smile. He felt victorious, as the Terrans were unable to hide their petty schemes from the Grand Duchy.

“That seems to be an appropriate demand.” The Gaimellasz ambassador spoke. “Perhaps an agreement is achievable, after all.”

After a lengthy discussion, both sides settled. The Grand Duchy receives the valuable Gallibello System. While the Union received the rest of the disputed territories.

In an instant, Guhlor-Marrosz became a celebrity. He became a household name, for his achievements of ruining the Union of Terra’s plots.
He became known as the person who provided Gallibello to the Grand Duchy.

~~~

10 years after the agreement…
“Tick, tick, tick” a different antique clock sang its rhythm with a Gaimellasz accent.
In an office in the Gallibello System, Guhlor-Marrosz sat at his desk. His face pressed into the table. Overwhelmed.

A few years after the agreement, the Ducal Government followed through with their revised plans.
They tried to explore the system for energy reserves.
Nothing.
They tried to find any rare mineral deposits.
Nothing.
They tried to excavate to find any ancient artefacts.
Still nothing.
The only thing they managed to build in the system was a glorified warehouse.

On the Terran’s side, however, their systems flourished. They managed to find plentiful reserves of resources for their ‘Project Highway’. New companies -- both private and government-owned -- were set up and extracted the area’s boundless deposits. Some strategic systems were transformed into logistics hubs that could deliver goods swiftly to the Union’s trade partners.

After seeing what a failure the deal had turned out, the Ducal Cabinet was displeased. They repositioned Guhlor as the governor for the Gallibello System. Fortunately for him, he had nothing much to do in this assignment. Unfortunately for him, he had nothing much to do in this assignment. And now, he could only waste away in his office, wondering when things went wrong. If only, back then, he knew…
…that there was no “Gullible” written on the ceiling.

Keep your bio short, sweet and lighthearted. Avoid things and statements that can be used against you. You don't need something special or extravagant and having a bio that's too long or in depth can look as too tryhard. Instead work on your pictures, because in the end those will decide if someone swipes left or right on you regardless of what they say... because only once they decided that you are cute enough they will open up your bio
Tease slightly. Be humorous. Tell them how good your life is without directly saying it. And pictures pictures pictures. Each picture needs to be high quality. Bio doesn't have the same strength as decent pictures.
Write something that tells me about you--what you like to eat, do in your free time, watch on tv, last cool place you visited or want to visit next, whatever. The worst is guys who write nothing or just their IG handle, FFS. If that's all the time and thoughtfullness you can put into a profile, I'm going to assume that's what I'll get from you in a relationship. Also, is it laziness or complete lack of self-awareness? This is why writing even a little bit about yourself can be really important in this context.
Every girl is gonna be attracted to something different and the character limit blows. Just be yourself
OK, so, you officially downloaded Bumble, picked out your best dating-app-friendly photos, and brushed up on some Bumble openers. Now, it's time to create the best Bumble bio. But where do you begin?
Creating a good Bumble bio that stands out may sound like an intimidating task, but it's super important you don't half-ass this step. According to Bumble's US data from April, "those who added a bio to their profile experienced an increase in their average number of monthly matches than members who didn't," a Bumble spokesperson says. Clearly, it's important for a better dating experience.
But just because crafting the best Bumble bios sounds intimidating doesn't mean it has to be. Really, it starts with thinking about all of the things that make you you. With the help of a Bumble spokesperson, here are some tips and ideas on how to craft the best Bumble bios to score quality matches.
Tips on How to Write the Best Bumble Bio
Complete your entire profile first. Before deciding on what to include in your bio, Bumble recommends filling out the rest of your profile. Add to your "Interests," "Basics," and "Lifestyle" badges, which will give people an idea of who you are and what you're looking for. Then, take a look at your profile and decide what about yourself is missing from it. Per the Bumble spokesperson, some of the most popular Bumble profiles included information on a user's dating intentions, exercise interest, and zodiac sign.
Highlight the things that matter to you. The Bumble spokesperson said this will help to make sure you're matching with people who share similar interests as you. For example, if it's important you match with a fellow dog-lover, make sure you mention something about your own dog (or the type of dog you want). To stand out from the billion other profiles that mention a dog, don't be afraid to add some spice to your profile. "Try to jazz your bio up a little by exaggerating your statements or cracking a joke," the Bumble spokesperson says. Just remember, you don't have to say too much — brevity is key.
Focus on the positive and not the negative. Bumble data shows that positivity is one of the most important traits for Bumble members worldwide, according to the spokesperson. Instead of listing out what you don't want in a partner, hone in on what you do want. "Focusing on what you do like can be a much better way to find someone who ticks all your boxes," the rep says. In other words, don't use your bio to list out things you're not looking for in a dating-app match.
Ask those closest to you what makes you special. Ask your friends or family what key things they think a date should know about you, the Bumble spokesperson suggests. "They won't overthink it in the same way you might."
Once you're ready to write your bio, here are some ideas to get the juices flowing. Feel free to copy and paste, or tailor the below to your individual preferences and needs.
Funny Bumble Bios
"Would do dirty things to [insert the name of your favorite sports team's coach] if it meant the [your favorite sports team] would win."
"If you're not messing up the lyrics to 'Fergalicious' with me, I don't want it."
"My definition of loving me unconditionally is always giving me the last mozzarella stick."
"As an English major, you will 1,000 percent make my day if you prove you know the difference between your and you're."
"Always hungry, and I mean, physically hungry — not hungry for success, or anything."
Best Bumble Bios
"If you're down to rave with me, you have my heart."
"Looking for someone who also has an adventurous palate!"
"I'm DTF. Yes, that's down to food — always."
"If attending a Saturday morning SoulCycle date is your idea of 'fun,' I'm yours."
"What's your most controversial opinion?"
Sexy Bumble Bios
"Ice cream is my second favorite thing to eat in bed."
"In the mood for a glizzy, and not the hot dog kind."
"Looking to cook my famous lasagna in exchange for you showing me your favorite bagel spot the next morning."
"Nothing will turn me on more than a match who knows their Harry Potter."
"My favorite summer activity is playing sand volleyball, so you could say I'm pretty good on my knees."
Good Bumble Bios
"Team sweets over salty. Don't agree? Give me your best argument."
"Tell me about your next tattoo or piercing."
"I would sell my soul for an unlimited supply of my mom's homemade dumplings."
"Must know your thoughts on Beyoncé's new country album."
"If you like Pizza Hut breadsticks, Taylor Swift, and drinking way too many espresso martinis, we'll get along just great."

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
​
Chapter 424
​
Kwaaaaah!
​
Engulfed in searing blue flames, the vortex devoured everything in its path,
​
Buildings crumbled - their concrete skeletons exposed and steel frames twisted grotesquely. The ground was littered with the scattered bodies of humans and monsters alike, casualties of the relentless destruction.
​
The ultra-high heat obliterated nearly everything, reducing it all to ash and molten remnants.
​
Except for one.
​
- Blink.
​
Everything but him.
​
Beep.
​
​
​
- Skill, [One Strike] has been activated!
​
- [Qi] has been completely exhausted!
​
- Everything comes with a price. Despite serious injuries, you have overexerted your power.
​
- Status abnormality, [Exhaustion] has been applied!
​
- [Strength], [Stamina], [Agility] have temporarily plummeted!
​
​
​
My strength ebbed away, leaving me hollow. The alerts from the System rang incessantly in my ears, while the distant cries of the Skeleton Warlord in my inventory faded to mere whispers.
​
My body felt leaden, as though submerged in icy water. In the frigid solitude of my mind, one thought spun relentlessly:
​
'This was my last chance.'
​
Why hadn’t I seen it coming? Why hadn’t I guessed?
​
The Arch Lich had warned me; he had been observing me through his network of familiars scattered across the battlefield.
​
I should have suspected he'd seen my earlier uses of [One Strike] on the Liches and Death Knights.
​
I should have questioned it, even without certainty.
​
‘Idiot.’
​
A laugh, bitter and mocking, broke from my lips. I had promised myself never to let down my guard, yet here I was, caught in the most critical of errors.
​
The lack of options was no excuse. In battle, it is the outcome that counts, not the intent. This was the bitter fruit of my negligence.
​
Thud!
​
The iron bar I clutched fell from my weakening grasp, clanging loudly as it hit the ground. My legs buckled, forcing me to kneel.
​
Head bowed, I was enveloped by a suffocating darkness.
​
- You, human. How does it feel to pay the price for your reckless courage?
​
Struggling to lift my head, I locked eyes with his fiery red gaze. A hoarse whisper clawed its way through my parched throat.
​
"Of course it feels shitty, you damn bastard."
​
- It was a fearsome strike. I'll give you that much praise.
​
The Arch Lich’s voice dripped with triumph.
​
Despite his use of teleportation magic, he couldn’t entirely evade One Strike, resulting in the loss of his left arm. Yet, there he stood, a grim victor amidst the chaos of the battlefield.
​
His eyes, a sinister red, gleamed with a cruel joy as he gazed down at me, kneeling like a penitent sinner.
​
- I waited until the end. Despite the humiliation suffered at the hands of a human, I endured and persevered. And finally... this body claims victory.
​
His cunning was undeniable.
​
As I had feared, he had been anticipating One Strike from the outset.
​
Previously, I had obliterated Liches and Death Knights with One Strike, replenishing my stamina through leveling up, but he had keenly observed the moment I depleted all my strength.
​
- Do you understand now? This is your limit - the limit of a human.
​
Limit.
​
That word burrowed deeply into my chest.
​
Despite all my struggles, the label of F-rank haunted me. It was a limit I had strived to surpass every day since acquiring the System.
​
'Is this really the end?'
​
I had fought desperately, for myself and for those I loved, pushing through peril after peril. This was my life: a relentless challenge of transcending my own boundaries.
​
"It's not over... not yet."
​
The words fell from my lips, hollow and lifeless, as if spoken by another.
​
My vision blurred as I raised my eyes to meet the Arch Lich’s gaze.
​
- What?
​
"It's not over yet."
​
A battle to the death concludes only when one side falls and the other stands victorious.
​
Until then, the struggle persists.
​
As death loomed close, I whispered to myself.
​
'Inventory open. Summon.'
​
I thought I had secured one of the spears from my inventory in my grasp.
​
But then, I dropped it.
​
Clang!
​
In that moment, I realized my strength had waned too far to wield a spear, let alone swing it.
​
- Hahahaha!
​
The Arch Lich’s laughter was grotesque, reveling in my plight.
​
Yet, surrender was not an option for me. I would not, could not give up.
​
'Open Inventory. Summon.'
​
Weapon after weapon appeared in my hands.
​
Thud!
​
And one by one, I dropped them.
​
'Open Inventory. Summon.'
​
Thud!
​
- Oh, you foolish, stupid human!
​
The Arch Lich's mockery rang out.
​
Yet I persisted, undeterred.
​
Is it courageous to humbly accept one's end? If that is courage, then label me a coward.
​
I must survive — I believed this was the highest respect I could pay to the life I had fought so hard to live.
​
'Open Inventory. Summon.'
​
It was at that very moment.
​
Ding.
​
​
​
- [Endurance] greatly increases.
​
- The attribute, [Endurance], transforms into [Will]!
​
- Those with strong will are not easily broken; they do not fall. They will fight with all their might until the very end.
​
- A strong will, at times, can give you the power to overcome your limits!
​
- Special effect, [Indomitable], has been activated. Temporarily, all attributes slightly increase, and fatigue is reduced!
​
​
​
A surge of warmth spread through my core, faint yet fiercer than any force I had known.
​
It wasn't just a burst of power.
​
It was a beacon of hope kindled by my desperation and given by the System.
​
With hands shaking, I clasped the cold spear shaft firmly.
​
- You...
​
The Arch Lich had noticed the shift too.
​
His gaze, previously dismissive as if I was merely an exhibit, now widened in alarm. Seizing the moment, I mustered all my remaining strength and lunged forward.
​
Time seemed to stretch, elongating the seconds as I thrust the spear towards his looming figure.
​
Screeeeech!
​
As the spear tore through the air with a sonic boom, I saw it clearly — the Arch Lich’s eyes, twisted into a crescent of scorn.
​
It was a sneer.
​
- Blood Explosion.
​
Boom!
​
The force of the explosion reverberated through my body, sending shockwaves pulsing through every fiber.
​
With the last of my strength spent, my muscles seized up. The spear slipped from my weakened grip and impaled the ground at an awkward angle.
​
I blinked through eyes filled with blood. In a world now painted a visceral red, something warm and sticky splattered onto my face.
​
Drip, drip-drip.
​
'...Ah.'
​
It was blood.
​
My own blood, spurting forth like a gruesome fountain, showered down in a macabre rain.
​
As I raised my trembling hands, quivering like aspen leaves in a storm, the ghastly sight of my shredded flesh and starkly exposed bones confronted me.
​
Blood Explosion. A literal explosion of blood.
​
From the edges of my dimming consciousness, the cries of the Skeleton Warlord pierced the air.
​
- ...Human, human!
​
How long had he been shouting?
​
I tried to answer, but all that escaped my lips was a grotesque mix of blood and fragments of my organs.
​
"Cough."
​
The world spun chaotically before my eyes.
​
I reached out toward the Arch Lich, now just a blur through the blood-smeared lens of my vision, but my hand grasped only air.
​
Perhaps it always would.
​
- Snap out of it! Aren't you supposed to live?
​
Is that supposed to be encouragement?
​
I knew I had to survive, defeat him, and return home.
​
But...
​
'Can I really?'
​
Slowly, the world seemed to tilt.
​
No, the world was stable; it was I who was faltering. My body, ravaged by relentless bleeding and grievous injuries, used the last vestiges of its strength just to keep from collapsing.
​
'No. If I fall, it's all over.'
​
I propped myself up on a broken ankle.
​
The faint, thorn-like pain was a grim reminder that I was dying, yet the intermittent shouts from the Skeleton Warlord, sounding through the haze like a broken radio, affirmed that I was still somehow alive.
​
- ...Do it, human! Hurry!
​
Do it? Do what?
​
- Summon me now...!
​
My eardrums were ruptured, my consciousness slipping; the Skeleton Warlord's shouts were just muffled echoes in my shattered senses.
​
Even if I could have made out his words, there was nothing I could do to intercept the Arch Lich's next move.
​
- You have some interesting possessions.
​
Suddenly, in the Arch Lich's hand was a familiar object.
​
My cherished weapon, White Flames, which had weathered many battles at my side, now blazed in the hands of this usurper. He laughed, his skeletal frame aglow within the dancing flames.
​
- I have received a gift far too extravagant. I suppose it should be returned to its owner.
​
The Arch Lich drew back his arm. A potent magic dampened the inferno of White Flames and surged along the spear’s blade.
​
- Farewell, noble adversary — or perhaps just a fool who might have been something more.
​
Screech!
​
The sonic boom was fleeting, yet the moment stretched into an eternity.
​
I watched, mute, as White Flames hurtled towards me like a meteor. A whirlwind of thoughts raced through my mind, leading me to an inevitable conclusion.
​
'I can't avoid it.'
​
Then the only end left for me was death.
​
I had survived countless battles over the past seven years, but never had the specter of death loomed so palpably.
​
All I could do was witness its relentless advance.
​
'Yes, this is the end.'
​
I repeated the thought with eerie calm.
​
Crack!
​
The blade of White Flames cleaved through bone as it impaled me squarely in the chest.
​
I froze, eyes wide in shock — not pain.
​
"...You."
​
- Why, what?
​
Words failed me as I stared into the flickering blue eyes just inches from my face.
​
From a skull no larger than a soccer ball, the Skeleton Warlord had morphed into a towering figure over two meters tall, his voice blunt and confounding.
​
- Don't ask how I was able to get out on my own. Even this commander doesn't understand why.
​
"But why? ...Why?"
​
I asked, facing him.
​
The blade of the spear, protruding from the Skeleton Warlord's back to his chest, halted just a whisper away from piercing me.
​
If no one had intervened, I would have surely died.
​
He had just thrown himself to save my life.
​
- ...I don't know anymore. Damn it. I don't know anything now. Maybe I was enchanted by this sword.
​
Only then did I recognize the identity of the sword in the Skeleton Warlord's hand.
​
"Hero's Soul."
​
The only relic of Lei Fei, a sword that cannot be wielded by those who are not qualified to be heroes.
​
Yet here it was.
​
Held not by a hero, but by a Named Monster — the Skeleton Warlord.
​
- Hero's Soul, huh? For something made by humans, that's a pretty decent name. No, honestly, it's cool. Although it's too late to swing it properly now...
​
His voice trailed off, and the intense blue light in his eyes began to fade.
​
I understood what was happening to him.
​
'Extinction.'
​
Undoubtedly. Even now, the magical force of the Arch Lich, carried by the blade of White Flames, was devouring the Skeleton Warlord.
​
"You."
​
- Don't say any more. I'm already regretting this as it is.
​
I doubted his sincerity, especially given the soft chuckle that seemed at odds with his typically gruff demeanor.
​
- Human. There's something I'm curious about.
​
As the Arch Lich approached and the shoulders of the Skeleton Warlord crumbled, I gave a silent nod.
​
"Anything."
​
He hesitated for a moment then asked in a soft voice.
​
- About what you said last time. Was it sincere?
​
"Last time, what... Oh."
​
I suddenly remembered. The way he had been right after Lei Fei's death, pondering his forgotten past.
​
And the casual remark I had made.
​
​
​
'Well, I think he was probably a pretty good guy.'
​
'...Huh? Are you talking about me?'
​
'No. I'm just talking to myself.'
​
'Oh, yes. Right.'
​
​
​
So that's what it is.
​
For the Skeleton Warlord, who had awakened with power from a spirit that had lost all its memories, I might have been the closest thing to a friend he ever had.
​
The simple words I had spoken were like a pebble tossed into the still waters of his heart, causing ripples to spread outward.
​
'What an idiot.'
​
What was that all about? Why go this far over such a trivial thing?
​
A surge of emotion welled up within me, heat flushing my face, but I reined it in. I barely managed to muster my voice.
​
"Of course it was sincere."
​
- Yes, I see.
​
At that moment, as the blue light in his eyes flickered feebly, a cold voice cut through the air, heralding the end.
​
- Are you finished with your farewells?
​
"…!"
​
- Bone Explosion.
​
Boom!
​
Instinctively, I shielded my face with my arms, but the force of the explosion hurled me backward, sending shockwaves pulsating through me.
​
As I staggered to my feet, I witnessed a skull catapulted into the sky, bones splintering and scattering like brittle ice.
​
And then… silence.
​
The Skeleton Warlord had vanished.
​
Whoosh!
​
[Hero's Soul] plummeted from the heavens, its blade burying itself deep into the earth, gripped by a hand that had not relinquished it until the very end.
​
Previous Table of Contents Next

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
★
🤍
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
★
🤍
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
🤍
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
★
🤍
Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
★
🤍
I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
★
🤍
I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
★
🤍
Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
🤍
I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
★
🤍
I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
★
🤍
I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
🤍
• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
🤍
• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
🤍
• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
🤍
• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
🤍
• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
🤍
• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
🤍
• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
🤍
• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
🤍
• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
🤍
• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
🤍
• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
🤍
• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
🤍
• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
🤍
• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
🤍
• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
🤍
Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
★
🤍
People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
★
🤍
If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
★
🤍
You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
★
🤍
Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
★
🤍
No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
​
Chapter 422
​
Ding. Ding. Ding.
​
​
​
- Opportunity arises within crisis. You have gained new enlightenment amidst a life-and-death battle!
​
- [Middle Dantian] has been opened!
​
- With the opening of the [Middle Dantian], all stats have increased by 20!
​
- The effects of [Qi Cultivation] have greatly improved!
​
- Your ability to understand and manipulate the flow of Qi has been greatly enhanced!
​
- Your internal and external states have been strengthened!
​
.
​
.
​
.
​
​
​
The relentless System notifications echoed in my ears, their cadence like a persistent hammer.
​
A sudden gust of wind swept through, playing with my sweat-drenched hair as a newfound vigor suffused my body.
​
A clear, resonant bell chimed, marking the culmination of my transformation.
​
Ding.
​
​
​
- As a reward for your enlightenment, you have gained a large amount of experience points!
​
- As a reward for your enlightenment, you have gained 50 bonus points!
​
- Level up!
​
- As a result of leveling up, all status effects, fatigue, and some injuries are recovered!
​
- The status abnormality, [Curse], has been lifted!
​
- Temporarily reduced stats have been restored to their original state!
​
​
​
I wasn't the only one who felt such changes.
​
No hand moves unseen by its master. The Arch Lich, sensing the dissolution of his curse, voiced his disbelief in a tone thick with suspicion.
​
- How did you...?!
​
His words, laden with myriad unspoken queries, met only my nonchalant shrug.
​
"Well."
​
- Well?
​
"Yes, well."
​
- Do you think that explains it?
​
"Obviously not. But do I really need to explain myself to you?"
​
From the flickering light in his eyes, incredulity was unmistakable.
​
- You're not a mage, are you?
​
"I did want to be a mage. They get paid more, you know. But I just don't have the talent for it. Nor the brains."
​
- Even those you call Grand Mages couldn't easily dispel my magic like this.
​
"There's nothing to it, really."
​
- This makes no sense!
​
I conceded silently.
​
The Arch Lich's mastery was undeniably beyond mine.
​
Even I, having long surpassed the ordinary bounds of a Hunter, struggled against his curses and the perilous illusions crafted from bone spears.
​
Without my recent enlightenment, I might not have stood here at all.
​
But...
​
"So what are you going to do about it?"
​
- ...!
​
The System was on my side; I had simply utilized the strength and resources it provided to navigate through the crisis.
​
If he thinks that's unfair, he can use the System himself.
​
"That's just how the world works. It's annoying and frustrating, but you just have to bear with it and move on. It's already happened. Right?"
​
The Skeleton Warlord, previously howling in rage until a moment ago, now murmured under his breath.
​
- Wow, you really do speak well.
​
That's just how I am.
​
- You wicked human. It doesn't look like he's going to just let it go and move on.
​
The Skeleton Warlord was right.
​
Suddenly, a chilling voice cut through the air, followed by a tempest of formidable magical energy.
​
- Unleash Sonic Buster.
​
Simultaneously.
​
Whoosh, boom!
​
A blast of densely compressed air erupted.
​
Its sheer velocity turned concrete to dust and twisted steel rebars like twigs.
​
The shockwave shattered the windows of a nearby skyscraper, sweeping up a storm of glass shards.
​
In an instant, before I could even blink, the devastating wind was mere inches from my face.
​
- Human!
​
The scream of the Skeleton Warlord resounded from my inventory.
​
Was it concern for his own fate, or anxiety over mine?
​
Regardless, the reason held little weight.
​
I was no longer the same person I had been mere moments ago.
​
'Ah.'
​
A warmth blossomed in my chest. The spot known to martial artists as the Middle Dantian had fully opened.
​
Suddenly, I understood everything around me. I felt it on my skin and saw it with acute clarity.
​
'So that's how it is.'
​
Time seemed to stretch, the world slowing to a crawl around me, rendering everything sharply defined and vivid.
​
A colossal orb of wind, launched like a slicing blade, and the intricate flow of magic that propelled it.
​
Shhhh!
​
Everything has a core, magic included. With the opening of my middle dantian, I could discern that core.
​
'Now.'
​
In this decelerated reality, I thrust my spear forward. The formidable orb of wind, previously unstoppable, cleaved neatly in two by the blade of White Flames.
​
The split fragments of the wind, once a unified force, now dispersed into hundreds, then thousands of smaller currents. Stripped of their magical command, they cascaded to the earth in a chaotic ballet.
​
Swoosh, crash!
​
The winds whipped around, tousling my clothes and hair. I raised my head to face the Arch Lich, my expression tinged with a slight smile.
​
"Come down here. My neck hurts."
​
- You...!
​
"Fine, I'll come up."
​
Crack, boom!
​
A single step.
​
The ground beneath me shattered, and I propelled myself toward the grey expanse above.
​
​
​
* * *
​
​
​
Boom!
​
As Jin Tae-Kyung launched into the air, the Arch Lich grasped the gravity of the situation.
​
'I can't let this human approach.'
​
Avoiding melee combat was a basic rule for any mage, yet it held a new significance for the Arch Lich now.
​
'To think this body feels threatened by a mere human.'
​
He prided himself on having reached the pinnacle of black magic.
​
Despite the considerable drain on his power during his resurrection, the Arch Lich still wielded more magical might than any Grand Mage.
​
Yet, the human confronting him now... posed a genuine threat.
​
'Yes, just like that one back then.'
​
It was a memory he desperately wanted to forget. Gritting his teeth, the Arch Lich summoned his magic.
​
- Gravity!
​
This time, his command wasn't just a shout but a formidable wave of power, unleashing an invisible, formless force that crushed everything within its vast reach.
​
Even an S-rank Hunter like Jin Tae-Kyung could hardly withstand the overwhelming pressure closing in on him.
​
Bang!
​
A burst of compressed air shot from beneath Jin Tae-Kyung's feet as he executed the Void-Trampling Step, his body darting out of the gravity's lethal embrace.
​
His movements, sharp and swift as a hawk's, far surpassed those of any ordinary flyer.
​
'What the hell.'
​
The Arch Lich's eyes darkened as he watched Jin Tae-Kyung slice through the air, rapidly closing the distance.
​
It was clear now; Jin Tae-Kyung had not only accurately determined the range of the gravity spell but evaded it with uncanny skill.
​
'It wasn't mere luck that he dispelled the illusion magic. Then...'
​
Whoooosh!
​
Magic surged from the Arch Lich, vibrating the very air around him.
​
- Gravity. Gravity. Gravity.
​
He cast the high-level spell repeatedly, a feat beyond even the most adept mages. With this, the Arch Lich believed he would overpower Jin Tae-Kyung this time.
​
'Fall, human.'
​
Instead of increasing the force, he had expanded the spell's reach, creating a gravitational field vast enough to ensnare any within its grip...
​
Screech!
​
Doubt flickered in the Arch Lich's gaze.
​
Simultaneously, the crushing spell around Jin Tae-Kyung unraveled, its magical link severed as if sliced by an unseen blade.
​
Caught off-guard, the Arch Lich watched as Jin Tae-Kyung propelled himself forward, stepping into the void and rocketing upwards like a cannonball.
​
Boom! Sssshhhh!
​
With a deafening sonic boom, Jin Tae-Kyung soared, not merely in front but rising above the Arch Lich, and he brought down the White Flames with devastating force.
​
Whoosh, a streak of blue flames surged towards the Arch Lich.
​
Crash!
​
In the slowed-down reality, an invisible shield around the Arch Lich shattered like glass.
​
In that moment, the flames of Protective Qi, fueled by three gapjas of Scorching Yang Qi, penetrated the multitude of defensive spells cloaking the Arch Lich.
​
- Great Bone Wall!
​
With a grim command, a barrier of black bones erupted from the void.
​
This top-tier defensive magic, materializing merely a meter away, met the spear blade wreathed in flames.
​
In the ashen sky, a massive shockwave boomed and thunder roared around the two foes divided by the Bone Wall.
​
Whooooah!
​
The air burst with intensity, dispersing clouds that had roamed the high skies. Buildings teetering on collapse crumbled, and half-decayed bodies were whisked away by the winds.
​
Yet, the two beings responsible for this chaos faced each other across the barrier, their gazes steady.
​
"It was a waste, wasn't it?"
​
- Yes, indeed. No, wait...
​
The Arch Lich paused, his eyes fixated on the mystical spear blade that had penetrated the center of the wall.
​
- It was dangerous.
​
The length of the spear blade that passed through the Bone Wall was only about the length of a finger, and the burst of Protective Qi had not even grazed his nose.
​
It was fortunate for the Arch Lich and regrettable for Jin Tae-Kyung.
​
"You're lucky, you."
​
- Arrogant human, I must admit.
​
"What?"
​
Jin Tae-Kyung, taken aback, listened as the Arch Lich spoke more deliberately.
​
- You would be worthy of this win, if you truly are the Adversary.
​
"...The Adversary?"
​
- Yes. The King's Adversary. The eternal rival entangled by the whims of the gods. I cannot be certain yet... but perhaps that's why I was able to rise again from the River of Death.
​
Jin Tae-Kyung’s brow furrowed. What does the King's Adversary mean, and what was this talk of the whims of the gods?
​
"Are you a second-year middle school student? Clear away these bones and show me your right hand. Let's see if you have a Black Flame Dragon." [Note: this reference is a bit intricate. The "Black Flame Dragon" part originates from the YuYu Hakusho anime/manga, in which one of the characters has a Black Flame Dragon living in his right arm. The "second year middle school" part references a concept called "chuunibyou", which comes from the light novel "Even with Chuunibyou, I Want to Fall in Love!", which heavily references "YuYu Hakusho". The concept of "chuunibyou" describes a particular stage in adolescence where individuals might hold delusional beliefs of grandeur, pretending to have secret knowledge or hidden powers. It's typically characterized by dramatic, over-the-top behavior, which is often a source of embarrassment later in life. This concept was vastly popularized by the anime, "Love, Chunibyo, and Other Delusions!"]
​
The Arch Lich shook his head.
​
- This is something neither you nor I can understand. But one thing is certain.
​
His eyes, previously dimly glowing red, now blazed with intensity.
​
Initially, he had merely thought of him as a powerful, albeit strange, human. Now, his perception had shifted.
​
Memories from decades ago flooded back, when he had roamed the planet in service to the King.
​
And the face of that human he had encountered on the day he fell into the River of Death.
​
'The Adversary.'
​
The human who had not only slain him but had also assassinated the King.
​
The Arch Lich tried to halt him but failed; he attempted to close the distance but could not bridge it. This human was the only one the Arch Lich had ever truly feared.
​
Amidst the tumult of battle with Jin Tae-Kyung, memories of that fearful day surfaced.
​
- You... will surely die here.
​
His voice, grim yet resolute, reverberated through the air.
​
Jin Tae-Kyung’s reply was dismissive and direct.
​
"What are you talking about, idiot?"
​
Then, in the blink of an eye,
​
"Eat this."
​
Whoosh. Boom!
​
With calm defiance, Jin Tae-Kyung unleashed a fist wreathed in blue flames, obliterating everything before it.
​
It met the barrier of black bones head-on.
​
Flame-Extinguishing Divine Fist.
​
Crack!
​
The seemingly impenetrable Bone Wall shattered.
​
Through the cloud of bone shards, Jin Tae-Kyung, his face impassive, declared,
​
"It's much better this way. No more neck pain."
​
- ...!
​
"Down, boy."
​
Pop!
​
Like a streak of lightning, his fist shot forward, connecting squarely with the Arch Lich’s jaw.
​
Previous Table of Contents Next

My wife 43F I 45M have been married 23 years and have 4 kid together(all older now). She is a teacher at a tough school and has teacher friends she hangs out with after work on Fridays from 4pm until past midnight even 1am. She hangs out with them this year now 3-4x a week after school. They are mix of singles and married M and F friends. I am always invited to come hang out and her friends know me. I came out one night and had fun.
The next Friday I was planning to go again to hang out with my wife, and she said not this week, that right was a red flag for me right there. She said she wanted alone time w her friends, ok no problem.
Well fast forward to this last night, it was getting late, past midnight, and i was checking in life 360(like find my phone app) to see where my wife was at to see if she was coming home. It was 1:30am and noticed it looked like she was in the parking lot. I was worried she was too drunk to get home and gave her a call.
We have a Tesla and she accidentally answered and i could hear her talking to someone. It was a guy, I could faintly hear what they were talking about. Then I could hear a voice I recognized, a guy S and was one of his friends. I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation. Things i could hear were … “this something you want..” “you can’t compare me with your husband “ i could hear her say “he is great but..” I heard about 8 minutes worth of chatter and going back and forth.
I Immediately ran out the door and started driving in her direction 20 minutes out. I could hear kissing , and moaning and kissing. I was like oh hell no! Then I went off mute and I said you know i can hear you! You answered the phone! She was like “you don’t know what heard” .. “we aren’t doing anything” something like that. I was like, is that F Sean? She said she is coming home let’s talk about this at home. Ok I hung up and went home.
She took an hour to get home, even dropped off S, smh. Got home and I got the “what do you think you hear?” I told her everything. She said she was drunk and didn’t really know what she was doing. It didn’t mean anything, she loves our life, loves me, wants to be with me. That they only kissed and didn’t have sex. That she never has cheated in me before. She said what do you want to do? How do we move forward? I was basically assured it wouldn’t happen again and we kissed and made up as i tried to be calm about it. We even had quick sex(I didn’t want her throwing up on me). After we were done she passed out and slept like a baby.
Well I did not sleep a wink and it’s 6am here , my heart rate has been pumping as i go through the events of tonight. I have looking online on how move forward and if I can forgive and trust her again? I plan to have a calm conversation with her later today. I will also need to see a shrink to talk to someone, because my son just got in a car accident, my dad getting Alzheimer’s and we are moving my parents out of our childhood home. Lots going on. She didn’t have sex w that person, he is gross by the way. She did admit to kissing him. I initially chalked it up as she got drunk and didn’t know what she was doing. But my mind has been spinning.
Is there hope? I still love her. I want to make this work. We have a family. Will I be able to sleep? Will I be able to trust her?

Ok so this is a weird cross post from PSX. Another user requested some of the definitive RPGs for the system with a description of why they should play them. I took a bit of time writing this is up... to crickets. Annoying, but thought maybe someome here would be interested in what the system has to offer outside of Squaresoft.
Breath of Fire 3 - Probably the best of Breath of Fire series. A gorgeous 2D adventure with memorable characters and systems. Dragon summons, fishing, dungeon puzzles. If you love it follow it up with Breath of Fire 4 which is also amazing and somewhat darker and mature.
Valkyrie Profile - Also extremely pretty 2D. You play as a Norse Valkyrie tasked with gathering the souls of fallen warriors to fight in the battle of Ragnarok. The story structure has you play through these warriors final moments. A lot of sad, some funny; an amazing game.
Alundra - Another really impressive 2D game. Action RPG and spiritual successor to Landstalker on the Sega Genesis. You have the ability to jump into people's dreams and literally defeat their inner demons. The story revolves around a single town with very fleshed out NPCs. You get to know them individually and so when you do the dream hopping thing you really care whether or not you can help these people (spoiler alert: sometimes you can't). Tear jerker.
Suikoden 2 - incredible story about friends caught in opposing sides of war. Just play it.
Star Ocean 2 - ok super fun super gorgeous sci-fi RPG that plays out a bit different depending on which characters you choose for your party. And choosing some characters locks you out of choosing other characters. So you're probably meant to play it twice for the full story, but it's also like 100 hours long so good luck with that. I love the battle system hectic action characters constantly running all over the field spamming arte attacks and shouting. Immersive crafting systems, and a lot of skits between characters fleshing out stories and relationships.
Tales of Destiny 2 - oh God. Just another amazing game. One of the best of the Tales series. You find an alien girl who has dropped from the world hovering upside above the one you live in. Ensue globe trotting adventure with a lot of heart.
Lunar Eternal Blue - both Eternal Blue and Silver Star Story are solid adventures. I prefer the second one a bit more for the party members. But really either are a lot of fun. Translation has aged a bit poorly but I think they still have a lot of humor between character interactions.
Thousand Arms - weird RPG meets dating sim. When this was current gen there really wasn't anything else like this one. Humor can be crass at times, and the game is pretty misogynistic but I think it's worth an experience. Story is you're a sort of blackmith that has to imbue weapons with the power of love, which you do by dating all the women in your party. The game recognizes that Meis (main character) is sort of sexiest jerk and makes fun of him for it. Lots of humor.
Koudelka - RPG meets survival horror. 18th century period piece that has a psychic Gypsy, pompous Bishop, and cynical atheist exploring a haunted mansion. They do not get along and the dialogue and interpersonal conflicts are pretty entertaining. Voice acting is incredible especially considering how bad other PSOne dubs were. Tactical battles sadly don't provide much challenge.
Dragon Warrior 7 - this is a long one. I'd say it's one of the best of the series, but they're all consistently good. Story is broken up into vignettes, you travel to an island see there's a problem and then travel back in time to solve it. A lot of these mini-stories are well written. Some funny, some sad. Like Lunar these also a lot of good banter and chemistry between the party members.
Rhapsody - this is another weird one. Gameplay sadly sucks. It's just really easy, and the dungeons used a ton of recycled assets. Think budget game. But, and this is a huge but the game is adorable. You play as Cornette, a girl who lost mother but has the ability to speak to puppets. She then recruits these puppets to help her on her quest to rescue the prince she loves from a bumbling band of sexy witches. She also sings. It's like a Disney musical meets JRPG.
Azure Dreams - this is the other Dating Sim RPG on the PSone. But it's a mystery dungeon roguelike. And a monster collector. And town sim. So you scale a tower, collecting and hatching eggs, and dating town girls while investing money in rebuilding the town. Hard, but addictive.
Persona 2 - "modern day" (circa 25 years ago) a crazed maniac named Joker is murdering high school children. There's also a sort of pandemic going around that turns rumors into reality. You are a group of investigators trying to figure out what's going on, also you control demon versions of yourself in battle (personas). Dark. Very dark.
Honorable mentions to Wild Arms (western fantasy RPG), Vandal Hearts (tactical RPG based on the French Revolution with blood fountains squirting out of dead enemies), and Guardians Crusade (cute cozy 3D RPG with a baby dragon).

Phil Aston: Hello and welcome to the Now Spinning Magazine podcast with me, Phil Aston. And in this episode, I’m absolutely delighted to have with me Tony Martin, one of the UK’s most underrated rock vocalists. You’ve had a really varied career, but what we’re going to talk about today specifically is Black Sabbath and the new “Anno Domini” box set. So, welcome, Tony. Thank you so much for joining me.
Tony Martin: Thank you. And thank you for having me on the show. Very cool.
Phil Aston: A bit of context, because I think this is kind of helpful for you. My son is 30 now, but when he was 15, he set up a Facebook group, kind of saying, “One day, please can we have the Tony Martin Black Sabbath albums released?” That was 15 years ago. He was still at school, half his lifetime ago. And I think in the early time when he set this up, he may have reached out to you and you might have said something like, “I don’t think it’s gonna happen, Dan.” And here we are, all these years later, and it’s not only happened, but it comes out this Friday. How does that feel to know that these albums are now going to be available again?
Tony Martin: Well, first of all, well done to your son. It took 15 years, but he got it done. To be honest, there’s been a few periods when I didn’t think it was happening. In fact, about a year ago, Tony Iommi’s manager called me and said, “You know what, this is just so complicated. I don’t think we can do this.” So I was resigned to it not happening myself. It’s all to do with band politics, really. There are so many people involved or have their fingers in the pie that they all have to be on board. And there were allegiances changing all over the place, left, right, and center. So in the end, it was getting a bit tiring, but well done to Tony Iommi and BMG. My God, the patience they showed to get this thing together and actually get it out there. Wow. But how does it feel? It feels brilliant, to be honest. I’m very excited. I haven’t actually had these albums in my own hands physically for the past 25 years. I gave all mine away thinking I’d be able to get some more, and I didn’t. They just stopped making them. So to actually physically hold them again is really cool. What a great job they’ve done of it. So I’m thrilled and excited. And I’m helping out now because I’m not in the band, obviously, anymore. So I just offered my help to promote it and they said, “Great, let’s do it.”
Phil Aston: Isn’t it amazing? Because I’ve done quite a few reviews about Black Sabbath box sets and stuff, but this one, within about 12 hours, there’s literally 12,000 views of the review. The love for this period of Black Sabbath is actually huge. It’s grown. It almost feels as if the profile is higher now than it was at the time.
Tony Martin: Yeah, there is a kind of reason for that. Partly people have got over the “it’s the new guy” thing, and also it’s been 25 years since. So now we’re reaching out to a whole other group of people, in addition to those that were already there. But to the outside world, it looks like there was a huge gap, and to me it felt like a huge gap. But actually, the fans were always there. I’ve been waiting myself as well to get this back out there. And it’s just band politics, really. That’s all it is.
Phil Aston: Because you had that period when it was almost as if this part of Sabbath’s history was hidden because of band politics. None of this really happened, which I think probably stirred up more interest and kind of people wanting to find out more.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it could be. It’s an old famous thing, you know, if something ain’t around for a while, people start talking about it. But yeah, it’s a strange thing, the music business. You’re either in fashion or you’re not. But I am just thrilled that they’ve got around it. Just the patience they’ve shown to actually put this together. At one point they were just saying, “We can’t do it.” But I’m really chuffed anyway.
Phil Aston: I imagine there’s been compromises along the way. Lots of fans probably don’t understand how complicated the politics and all the different licenses and everything that goes on over the years, they become more and more entangled. People say, “Where’s Eternal Idol?” But of course, that was a different record label. Different people own it.
Tony Martin: Yeah, absolutely. It’s owned by somebody else. And also Eternal Idol, or “Eternal Idiot,” as we call it, was kind of reissued not that long ago. Really.
Phil Aston: That’s right. With the two CD version, wasn’t it?
Tony Martin: Yeah. So they were kind of thinking, “Well, there’s no real panic because that’s already been done and let’s just move on.” Because that would have wrapped them up in contracts for centuries, I think. I can’t even think that they’ll ever get them to let that go. But they were struggling to get the people involved with these four albums to make up their minds and do stuff. I’ve been all for it all the way along, I have to say. Obviously, because it’s my career, my history. It’s not just the band’s history. It’s ten years of my life that went AWOL. So, yeah, I’ve been up for it all the way along, but some people don’t and it’s taken them a while to get on board.
Phil Aston: I think it’s fantastic. The first one was Headless Cross. You joined one of the biggest rock bands with all that history behind it. You were an established singer with the Alliance. But this was a chance, as you say, with Eternal Idol, you went in and it was already prepared. You sang it, but this one was where you could really put your mark on it, your personality lyrically as well as musically. Can you remember what it was like actually being at the beginning of that? Did you feel comfortable around Iommi and Powell and thinking, “Right, what kind of lyrics am I going to do by Headless Cross?”
Tony Martin: Yeah, I was comfortable by then. Well, kind of. The thing is, with Eternal Idol, if I can just backstep a little bit. The Eternal Idol wasn’t the first call up. The first call up was in 1986 when they were doing the Seventh Star with Glenn Hughes. And that scared me to death because I can’t sing like Glenn Hughes. Nobody can sing like Glenn Hughes. They put me on standby back then, so I’d sort of tentatively had an introduction to Tony Iommi. Then in ’87, they got me in for the audition, and that was the next introduction to Tony Iommi. But because Eternal Idol was already written, that gave me a whole year plus a bit more to find out what this thing was. What the hell was I supposed to do? So just doing Eternal Idol like that was fine by me because I didn’t have to discover anything myself back then. It gave me a chance to get my feet in. So by the time it got to Headless Cross, now I know all the guys, and I kind of know what’s expected of me. I still had to find the “me” that I needed to find. I went around it the only way I could, by focusing on things I was interested in. I couldn’t do the lyrics and melodies that Geezer was writing for Ozzy because that was a generation before me. The stuff that Ronnie was doing was fantastic, but I couldn’t get inside his head. So I had to think about what I was going to do. I had an interest in the old gothic death stuff, like Dracula and Frankenstein, Mary Shelley type writing, and of course, in England, we have Shakespeare. Nobody speaks English like that anymore, that old English text. I thought, “Old English text, gothic death, and Black Sabbath. That might work.” So I put them all together and came up with Headless Cross, which is where I lived. I lived in a village called Headless Cross.
Phil Aston: Yeah, you put that on the map. They weren’t pleased about it. The most recognition I’ve got is my name on a bus stop. And Cozy Powell thought the album needed more death, didn’t he?
Tony Martin: Oh, that’s true. That’s actually true. We were recording “When Death Calls,” and he was in the studio playing, and he suddenly stopped. We went, “You alright?” He went, “Yeah, just remind me, what’s this song called again?” I said, “It’s called When Death Calls.” He said, “I don’t think there’s enough death in it.” And he carried on playing. So, okay, maybe he’s taking the piss, but isn’t it such a great sounding album? As Tony Iommi says, he never left Black Sabbath. So when people criticize him, saying, “You should change the name or whatever,” he never left. So it was still Black Sabbath. The riffs, the guitar sound was reaching new peaks of excellence around this time.
Because when it was just him and Ozzy, for example, it was guitar, that was it. When Geoff Nichols joined during the Dio period, it introduced a few more keyboard things. That allowed Iommi to play solos against those keyboard pads and chords. And then you come along and start sticking 50 tracks of vocal harmonies on it, like in Anno Mundi and stuff like that. It just kept developing. Sabbath isn’t really known for vocal harmonies and keyboards, but underneath that was still Tony Iommi. And it still sounded like Sabbath. We were happy to do that. We just wanted to make Tony happy and do the best for him. It was his band. So we were happy to seek out that Sabbath sound and make sure it did what it said on the tin. A couple of times, like with the Seventh Star thing, he ventured a little bit away from it. Songs like Heart Like a Wheel don’t really make the Black Sabbath sound, but it’s still good stuff. I have great respect for all of the eras that went before. I had to sing all of the songs. So I do have great respect for it. And it’s been an honor, you know, like being part of the whole story. But he was the only one that stuck it out. And we respected him for that. You’re right, they did ask him to change a couple of times. He said, “No, I can’t change now.”
Phil Aston: The next one, if I pronounce this right, it’s Tyr.
Tony Martin: Yeah.
Phil Aston: Because when it came out, me and my friends, actually, because there was no Internet back then and nowhere to go and check it, we did call it Tyr. To be.
Tony Martin: Yeah, Tyr.
Phil Aston: Watch you find in Birmingham. You know what I mean? So it actually rhymes with beer, doesn’t it?
Tony Martin: It is, yeah. Actually, it’s Tiw, which is Scandinavian for the son of Odin or something.
Phil Aston: Well, this is almost as close, probably, to Sabbath getting into almost a concept album. Isn’t it? This is a collection of songs that in another time and space you probably as a band would have gone out and performed the whole thing.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it wasn’t meant that way, but they were struggling to find a name for the album. We were recording and getting towards the end and the management called us up and said, “We really need a name for this album.” And Cozy said, “I’ve got one. Let’s call it Satanic Verses.” We went, “What, like Salman Rushdie thing?” He said, “Yeah, it would be great publicity.” We said, “Yeah, but we’ll all be dead.” So we did struggle, but they happened across the artwork. We’d done Anno Mundi, we’d done Gates of Valhalla and all that sort of stuff. They went, “What if… Tyr?” It was fine by me. So it took on the Viking sort of theme. By that time, I was thinking, once I’d done Headless Cross and started to have an interest in the Vikings and stuff. As you know, the Vikings haven’t been particularly good for us. They came over and stole all our women and sheep and whatever. But I had an interest in them as well. So I was thinking, every culture, every religion has its dark side. There’s always a devil type in a god type. I thought we could go around the world and I could do this. You could pick up on all sorts of cultures and pick out the dark side of various things. But it was the last kind of… I still did that with various other songs and various other artists. But Tyr was leaning towards that theme.
Phil Aston: It’s an excellent album. Then of course, the strangeness of the politics in Sabbath. Dehumanizer comes along and Dio re-enters the scene. You obviously had an opportunity because every cloud has a silver lining. You can go off and do your solo album at this time. But you did kind of like… It sounds like it was almost a forced relationship, the way that he was and he wasn’t. I mean, how was that period for you? Because you did demo some of the tracks, didn’t you?
Tony Martin: Firstly, it was a shock. I didn’t see that coming at all. Literally just walking out the door to the next writing rehearsals. My managers called up and said, “They don’t want you to go.” From what I recently found out, although I had my suspicions, Tony Iommi said the record label just wasn’t supporting it. They weren’t getting behind us at all. Then they started banding about all different names and stuff, and Ronnie’s name came up. They thought they’d give it a go. He said it was all on and off all the time. After they let me go, it wasn’t too long before Tony called me back and said, “Can you come back?” I said, “No, I can’t. I’m doing my solo album.” More time went by, and he called me back again and said, “Are you sure you can’t come back?” I said, “I’m doing my solo album. I really can’t.” He said, “Do you want to come down and try?” So I did. I went down and tried putting my voice on some of the songs, but it would have meant rewriting everything, and they weren’t going to do that. So I said, “The best thing is if you finish this with Ronnie, get this done and out of the way, then maybe we can talk again later.” So that’s kind of what happened. By that time, I’d done my solo album, which I wanted to get as far away from the Sabbath thing as I could at the time. I went back to doing what the Alliance and some of the bands I’d been with, that middle-of-the-road AOR type stuff. But when they called me back to Sabbath, Polydor dropped my solo album like a brick. They said, “We can’t do this if you’re going to go back with them.” So that got stopped. It’s so confusing. By the time I got back with the guys to Cross Purposes, it didn’t feel that much of a gap for me, because I’ve been talking to them and working with them through the Dehumanizer thing.
Phil Aston: Stylistically, that album, because it was on the IRS label, I know some people have said, “Well, it should be in there.” Stylistically, musically, it’s very different. I mean, you take it out. These four albums in this set, excluding Eternal Idol, they sound like a progression. Dehumanizer sounds like a kind of sidestep. Even the way the riffs are done in the songs, it’s changed. You take the vocalist out, but the music continued. You took you out and it was very different.
Tony Martin: I suppose it does a bit. If I go back and think over it, I guess that’s what it was. It was kind of an interruption into the flow of things. When we were doing Tyr, I thought we were doing really well. I thought we were onto something. Dehumanizer, in that sort of respect, does feel a little bit like an interruption. But there was some good stuff on there. Ronnie’s always been a good singer. I don’t quite know how they feel about it, but it was kind of nothing to do with me. I just let them get on with it.
Phil Aston: After that, Cross Purposes is probably, out of the four albums in this set, my personal favorite. Geezer’s back in the band now, so you’ve got his bubbling bass in there. And again, lyrically, it’s all you. Did you feel any kind of, “Oh, Geezer’s back. Will he want to help out?”
Tony Martin: I did ask. He just said, “No, you can do it.” So I just carried on.
Phil Aston
The reason why I love this album is that it’s varied. A lot of people think of Black Sabbath as the Godfathers of heavy metal, and heavy metal is always heavy metal. But if you think back to albums like Sabbath Bloody Sabbath in the seventies, they weren’t all heavy metal. There were all sorts of things on there. There were keyboards and light and shade. This, I felt, connected to that album, because you had light and shade on it. So there were more dynamics in the lyrical delivery and the song delivery, in the way that Iommi is weaving his riffs around the melodies. What are your thoughts looking back on this album now?
Tony Martin: I think you’ve just summed it up. It did sort of shift up a notch. Not only that, but the sound they were getting with Leif Mases producing it, it sort of grew up. It lifted somehow out of what they’d done before. It felt like, “Oh, this sounds good.” The songwriting and the exploring we were doing with the songs and stuff. At the time, Geezer Butler said that’s the best album he’s ever been on. He never said that again, but he said it at the time.
Phil Aston: I can imagine him saying just that.
Tony Martin: But it was good. Having Bobby Rondinelli in the band as well. Technically amazing. Brilliant player. His drums close in, and he plays with his wrists. Very technical. Whereas Cozy’s drums are stretched out far and wide. He’d lean over and hit them. But great to have them both in. What an honor. I mean, it’s Geezer Butler as well.
Phil Aston: When you got to South America, Bill Ward was in for a few gigs, wasn’t he? That must have been quite surreal. Bill Ward and Geezer playing songs like Headless Cross, which they had nothing to do with.
Tony Martin: They had nothing to do with. We were kind of weird because once we’d started to get Geezer and Bill back in, they wanted to start doing more of the older songs. That just makes you look, read between the lines going, “What’s going on? Where’s this going?” Once it’s happened to you, you know it. Then you’re reading between the lines. You start to feel it. Then you go, “Ah, right.” You can feel it. They’re clearing up. I did ask if they were going to do a reunion with Ozzy. Iommi was always denying it. Said, “No, no, we’re not doing that.” But I didn’t mind. The reason for that is because I knew what I could do in the future then. I thought, “Well, if they just tell me, that’s fine. Cause then I can plan.” The first time it was a shock and I didn’t know what to do. But I was kind of keyed up for it the next time. But he kept going. They got Bill in. I love Bill. I think he’s brilliant. We did some shows with him. But for some reason, and I don’t know what it is, I mean, I can tell you Iommi loves Bill. He regaled so many stories about when they were out there and how funny it was. I never understood why they never gave him time to get back in it. When you think of Def Leppard, they made a drum kit for a one-armed drummer.
Phil Aston: Yes, very true.
Tony Martin: Surely they can find time to get Bill settled back in. Whatever problems they’ve got. I mean, come on.
Phil Aston: You would think, yeah, very true.
Tony Martin: Get on with it. I thought, “Right, this is going to go south again.” But it didn’t. We carried on with Forbidden, and then Cozy came back after his accident. It was really up and down. Confusing. People in and out. During the time I was in the band, there were eight different lineups.
Phil Aston: It was very much a revolving door, wasn’t it? Before we move on, I just want to ask, because I know a lot of fans ask this. In the booklets in these box sets, there’s an image of Cross Purposes Live. That was a VHS tape and a CD. Is there a reason why that wasn’t included in some way? Is that game politics?
Tony Martin: I did ask about that, and they were just keen to get on with it. They said, “Come on, let’s go, let’s do it.” What they told me was that they’re going to take their time now to see what else they can gather and do an additional thing to this along the way with more of that in it. With the Cross Purposes Live and some other stuff. There’s a track that I recorded with them when Eddie Van Halen came and did Evil Eye.
Phil Aston: Yes, yeah, Evil Eye, wasn’t it?
Tony Martin: Yeah. I used to take the track out. I had it everywhere. Writing sessions, recording sessions, rehearsals. I just happened to be there. I didn’t even know who was coming. Iommi just turned up with Eddie Van Halen. I went, “Holy hell, it’s Eddie Van Halen. What’s he doing here?” He did some rehearsals with us and then disappeared. Never saw him again. But I got the recordings of the rehearsals that we did.
Phil Aston: Oh, wow.
Tony Martin: So I sent them to Tony Iommi. I said, “Use these. Get these on.” He said, “No, no, we can’t.” The reason they said was anything that has the slightest newness about it looks like a new Black Sabbath track or album track. They’re not allowed to release anything new under the Black Sabbath name. So even if it’s historical, they couldn’t allow it. It’s really weird.
Phil Aston: That means there must be lots of live stuff recorded. More bands were recording live stuff from the nineties onwards that you just couldn’t work on because it would go out under the Black Sabbath name.
Tony Martin: Not just live stuff. I’ve got about eight tracks that we never released. Just from the writing sessions and rehearsals and stuff that we used to do. They just can’t get out. They just won’t allow it.
I don’t understand. Well, I kind of understand. When you’re trying to protect your name, your mark, your image, your everything, which is where the band politics comes in, they won’t allow you to do anything that they think. And there’s all kinds of… Everybody from Ozzy to Dio to everybody. They don’t want their thing to be diluted or taken away. I do understand that. There are people involved all along the way that have an objection of some kind or another.
Phil Aston: But I guess, hopefully, this box set’s going to sell out really quickly and will show there’s a demand for this material and for this part of Black Sabbath history. There’s a lot of love for it. A lot of people worked really hard within it, like yourself. They’re great albums, wonderful songs. If there’s other music waiting in the wings, whereas we all get older, thinking through the eyes of the fan, it would go down so well, wouldn’t it? But I am, as you are, very grateful that these four albums have arrived in a box.
Tony Martin: Yes, it’s an important thing for me. It’s an important thing for the band, and it’s a great thing for the fans. I’m thrilled. It’s been an honor to be part of the story. I love the fact that it’s out there now. They did say there is no limit to the box sets. They have sold out on day one.
Phil Aston: I’m not surprised.
Tony Martin: They said the way they do it is they tend to poll the outlets and stuff and say, “How many do you think you can sell?” And they put their numbers in, and they’ve gone way past that. So now they’ve got to go back and produce more. There’s no limit to it. I love what they’ve done. There’s more in the box set than just the albums. Posters, programs, and everything.
Phil Aston: And then Forbidden. I’ll be honest, Tony, when I heard this for the first time back in the day, I didn’t like it. I tried, but I didn’t like it. My son liked it because I think probably because his dad didn’t. But now the remix, it’s as if someone’s released the drums and the guitars. It sounds like a Black Sabbath album. It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it?
Tony Martin: It does. It’s brilliant. I love the fact that they’ve dismantled it and put it back in a way that they couldn’t or didn’t with the other three. Forbidden needed it for all kinds of reasons. It was done under a sort of cloud where a lot of us weren’t really into it very much. But it was also an attempt at trying to give Sabbath a kind of acceptable twist to the youth. It didn’t work.
Phil Aston: The nineties were weird, weren’t they? The nineties were strange for heavy rock.
Tony Martin: The problem was we were fast heading towards great new bands like Nirvana and eventually Green Day and Metallica doing stuff. We were going and they were trying to change the sound to fit in. It didn’t work. We didn’t think it would. But there are people out there that love Forbidden as it is. I said that to Iommi. Last time I saw him, there are people out there that love it. He said, “They’ll probably love this version now.” But shaking the chains, guilty as hell, rusty angels, forbidden. And of course, “Loser Gets It All” is a great track. That wasn’t even on the album originally.
Phil Aston: It’s brilliant.
Tony Martin: Yeah. Strange. I absolutely love it now. It does sound like a Black Sabbath album. It sounds like it should be there in amongst the others. They’ve done a great job. Tony and his engineers have really pulled it together. It’s slightly more guitar and slightly less keyboard. They’ve done Cozy’s drums. Fantastic job on those.
Phil Aston: They’re just unleashed, aren’t they?
Tony Martin: Yes. They haven’t changed anything. They’ve mixed it and given it a new attitude, which is brilliant. They’ve given it more space. It sounds bigger. I just love what they’ve done to it. I’m really proud of it now. I didn’t like it then. There’s still a couple of tracks where I would love to have gone back in and…
Phil Aston: Yeah, you know.
Tony Martin: I thought at the time, because I was that off it at the time, my head just wasn’t quite there. A couple of tracks I thought I could have done better. I did sort of say when they were doing it, “Can I go back in?” They said, “No.”
Phil Aston: I suppose because that might edge towards it being a new recording then.
Tony Martin: Yeah, tricky. I’m not going to tell you which tracks it is, but there were a couple in there that I wasn’t quite happy with. But on the whole, it’s a great job they’ve done.
Phil Aston: Because when you were playing live, there were more songs from your period in Sabbath coming into the set, weren’t there? You were a unique vocalist in many ways for the band. You could cover Ozzy, Dio. You probably could have done Ian Gillan. Anything. You could have the ultimate set list, really, going through every era.
Tony Martin: That was a bit of a mistake. I told them I could sing anything, really. They thought, “What can we give him to sing?” They threw all sorts of stuff at me. I had a shot. Fortunately, I’ve got the kind of voice that can get around most things, and that’s a result of being in so many different kinds of music. I’ve been involved in everything from reggae to rock.
Phil Aston: Who were your key vocal influences growing up? As you say, outside of this Black Sabbath badge, your voice can go in any direction. So who were your influences? Was it blues, soul, rock?
Tony Martin: It kept changing. Everything I listened to, I thought, “That’s good. That’s good.” Each couple of years, something else took my attention. I’d really pour my soul into it. When I started off with reggae, believe it or not, I worked with Musical Youth and Dexys Midnight Runners in the studio. I was a guitarist back then. Then I loved blues. I got into prog rock bands like Yes, King Crimson, Jethro Tull. Then it shifted to Emerson, Lake & Palmer. That led to Rush and bands like that. Then I had to come down out of that prog rock technical stuff because Sabbath is much more honest and basic and straightforward. To a point. When you’re in the band and you find out how he does it, it’s stunning. I never even gave it a thought. I thought, “It’s got to be easy.” It wasn’t easy at all. Iommi can put seven, eight different riffs into one song, and each one of the riffs could be a song on their own.
Phil Aston: Very true.
Tony Martin: So, wow. You get your head around it. It’s weird. Plus, the time signatures he was throwing at us. There was a 14/4 and a 15/8 or something he was throwing at us. How he gets his head around it, I just don’t know. When I saw him a few weeks ago, he said, “You did a really good job on this.” I said, “Thanks, man.” He said, “I actually don’t know how you sang over some of this stuff.” I said, “Neither do I.”
Phil Aston: Just mad, isn’t it? You could try anything. I might have thought, “That means you might be able to put some of the songs in that Ozzy couldn’t do into the set. Or I can try something that I’ve never been able to do before because Tony says he can do anything.”
Tony Martin: It’s because I showed willing. I told them I’d have a go. And I did have a go. I did put into it. The songs, the writing, the live shows, whatever. I kind of made a rod for my own back in some ways because it was hard flicking between all of the different vocal techniques. But I did my best. It sort of came across okay. The problem is when you try to do stuff like that, it can sound a bit like a tribute act. But we got it nailed, I think. Especially having people like Cozy Powell, Geezer Butler, and all those guys in the band. We were willing to seek out that Sabbath sound, and we were conscious of it. So we were all aiming for the same thing. From outside, it might have looked like a chaotic mess. But on the inside, it all had a focus. We were all willing to give it a go. That’s what I think they saw in me. I knew they liked my voice, but I think that’s what they saw, a willingness to have a go and see if you can make it work. All those different time signatures and riffs that I had to go, looking back, to me, it’s Black Sabbath. Like,
Phil Aston I’m a Deep Purple fan, and every lineup of Deep Purple is still Deep Purple. I know Black Sabbath, there’s lots of politics in the way some of the fans look at it. But I think, which is why they had Heaven and Hell later on instead of Black Sabbath, because of the politics. But listening to these four albums, one after the other, you brought to life Viking mythology and song. More death. Just your passion and the way you projected the lyrics and your phrasing makes these albums unique. An important part of the Sabbath story. Finally, do you feel like this outpouring of love for this lineup is validating everything? Any doubt that might have been back then?
Tony Martin: Yeah, doesn’t it just? The biggest validation is from Tony Iommi himself. It wasn’t regarded that highly until he sat and listened to it without the bickering going around. When I went down a few weeks ago, he said, “You did a great job on this. There’s fantastic songs on here.” I said, “I know.” It’s just that validation that he gives it. The fact that the fans are returning to it. The fact that we’ve got new fans coming to it. Whole new record labels. I think it’s Rhino in America. It’s BMG in the UK, Europe. The record labels are coming back to it and getting behind it. They see something in it. The management sees something in it. So it’s all coming together. Which is a shame because I’m not in the band anymore.
Phil Aston Who knows? Maybe you and Tony will think, “It’d be great if some of this other stuff can come out at some point and we don’t have to wait another 25 years.”
Tony Martin: If he was going to do that, he’d say, “Let’s just write some new stuff.” But from what I’ve been told, Tony’s touring dates are done now. He won’t be going out on the road again. That’s probably out of the question for writing. I did tell him I was interested if he wants to do something. But he’s got so much going on. He’s still busy. Doing stuff. He had that ballet, the Black Sabbath ballet.
Phil Aston: Yeah, that’s true.
Tony Martin: Never saw that coming. No, he’s working on all kinds of stuff. He’s writing new material for something else now.
Phil Aston: So what about you, Tony? Have you got any plans for another solo album?
Tony Martin: I never actually stopped. For the past 25 years, my career took me into the studio and writing for people. My voice appears on 89 albums and projects now. It’s been good for me. I owe everything to Black Sabbath because that’s how the world got to hear my voice. People know what they’re talking about when they talk to me. “Can you write, can you sing on this?” They already know what they’re hearing or expecting. I always try to make it better than what they give me in the first place. A lot of that is me in the studio, and I’m happy, and I still am, happy doing that. But I do tend to choose what I do these days.
Phil Aston: Yeah, that makes sense.
Tony Martin: So I’m still doing the odd thing for people now. I did have a solo album a couple of years ago called Thorns.
Phil Aston: Great album.
Tony Martin: Yeah, totally unknown guitarist from America, Scott McClellan. I only met him because he kept badgering me on Facebook. He kept sending me stuff. I was like, “Go away.” He said, “Listen to this. What about this one?” In the end, I listened to it and it was brilliant. So I gave it a go and it turned out really well. But then Covid interrupted that and we couldn’t get out there with it. Some countries were saying, “Yeah, you can come,” and other countries were saying, “No, you can’t.” It all got distracted. I haven’t finished with Thorns because they wanted to do a vinyl for it. They said we had to take some tracks off to get it to fit on the vinyl. I don’t want to take any tracks off.
Phil Aston: Make it a double.
Tony Martin: Yeah, make it a double. Write some more. I wasn’t prepared for that. I’m pacing up, trying to write some new songs. Scott has sent me loads. We’ve got enough tracks for Thorns 2, but I haven’t finished Thorns 1 yet. I’ve got to come back to that. I do want to finish that off and get that done. Then if we can do the next Thorns thing, who knows? We’d like to try and get it out on the road. Getting out on the road for me is so different to the Sabbath thing. The Sabbath machine is huge. They only have to mention it and all the cogs start turning all at the same time all the way around the world. It all starts fitting into place within days, within weeks. On your own, it’s different. I can’t do that. I have to hire other musicians to go out on the road and rehearse the whole thing and start again with a brand new show. It’s a lot harder for me, but I would love to get back out there. My career took me into the studio, so I’ve got more to do. But I just tend to choose now.
Phil Aston: If people want to get Thorns, is it DarkstarRecords.net? Is that the best place?
Tony Martin: No, Battle God. They are the main label. Darkstar were involved and they’re still there, but they’ve had some troubles in the past couple of years. They were on board and I did two versions of it from between the two territories. I liked that. But mostly now, Battle God is the label to grab hold of it. It’s still available and I’m still signing them. People send me the stuff to sign.
Phil Aston: But I haven’t finished yet, so there’s more to come.
Phil Aston: Brilliant. Well, thanks very much, Tony, for all of your time today. Everybody, make sure you go and get a copy on CD or vinyl of this Black Sabbath Tony Martin years box set, “Anno Domini.” It’s absolutely superb.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it is good. I’m just smiling. I think it’s brilliant.
Phil Aston: No, that’s it, isn’t it? Whatever anyone thinks, these albums are available again. People can hear just how awesome this time for Sabbath really was.
Tony Martin: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Phil Aston: All right, take care, and hopefully I’ll talk to you again in the future.
Tony Martin: Thank you. All right, Phil, thanks, mate. Cheers.
Phil Aston: Well, a huge thank you to my guest, Tony Martin. That was fantastic. I’m almost lost for words in knowing what to say to sum up that interview because I know a lot of you are really interested in this box set, “Anno Domini” by Black Sabbath, which is out on CD and vinyl. Just as I thought, it’s sold out already, but there’s going to be another pressing. I was able to ask some of the questions I know some of you have been wanting to know, like why weren’t there extra tracks? Why wasn’t the live Cross Purposes included, etc. So now you know. Some of it is really exciting because it means there might be a companion set with some outtakes or live stuff as well. That’s really exciting.
Tony Martin is a fantastic vocalist, really passionate, really imaginative with his lyrics and his vision of how he writes his music. These four albums are essential. They’re Black Sabbath albums, okay? That’s what they are. They sound like Black Sabbath albums. Wasn’t it interesting that Geezer Butler said Cross Purposes is the best album he’d ever played on? It is a truly remarkable album. But they all are: from Headless Cross, to Tyr (which I can now pronounce correctly), Cross Purposes, and Forbidden, which has been given a new lease of life. Seriously, it is incredible. Just stunning.
Thank you again to Tony Martin for joining me here on the Now Spinning Magazine podcast. Please keep spinning those discs, whether they are vinyl or CD. Check us out on the podcast. We’re on every platform you can think of, from Apple to Spotify to Amazon. Of course, we’re on YouTube. Please subscribe and check out the website at nowspinning.co.uk. Remember, music is the healer and the doctor. So take care and I’ll see you all very, very soon.
Watch the full interview here
Phil Aston Now Spinning Magazine

This is going to be a long one so bear with me please. I am also giving a lot of backstory and past issues bcz I feel they are relevant to the matter and also I feel like ranting. Also this is in India so the currency is Rupees. Before we start I just want to say that I am not perfect in any way or form and I have done any fair share of mistakes.
I(20F) have been in a relationship with my bf Jake(22M)(fake name) for roughly 5.5 yrs now. My family is not rich but we do have a lot of money bcz both my parents are doctors but I did not realise we have this much money until 2yrs ago. (Am not very street smart as U will see in this post). Since after abt 1.5 years of relationship (May 2020)when lockdown started his family fell on hardtimes as his family owns a shop and bcz of the Pandemic they weren't able to run it.
At first it was bcz one of his friend got into an accident so he needs money and he told me he will give it back etc (i don't remember if he ever did as it was yrs ago). At the time I had money saved up so I helped out the first few times with my own money. Then when I ran out of money then he said to ask my dad or mom, or steal from my house and give him some. A lil back story here, my mom and dad are separated so they did not used to talk about finances so I would take extra money from my dad than what was actually required and give the rest to jake. For e.g I required 3k for a parcel or smrg then I would ask for 5k, give my mother the 3k(I live with her, my father lives separately) and give the 2k to jake. I also gave him cash many times by essentially stealing from my mother's closet. When I used to say NO he hurled abuses at me and called me every name in the book which a person can imagine, guilt tripped me and pushed me very hard and I gave in almost every time. He told me he will give me back eventually, he has made an investment,etc. Basically all stupid lies to have more time, then one day during an arguement I pressed on when he is gonna return the money and after a lot of time he told me there is no investment and he used the money in his family's shop.
After 2.5 year of this in October-Nov of 2022 we both got admissions in universities which were around 2 hours away from each other. Till then this pattern continued and his family was still struggling bcz of his father's brother divided the joint business or something else. Before this when we were at out respective homes he told me he got some operation done for smtg in his abdomen. I gave him 10k from my mother's closet for that and even when I went to meet he had an area bandaged (was very unprofessionally done my dumb self should have understood that it was also fake) one of his friend also confirmed that he had operation done and I was coordinating with him on the said dates when he was supposedly admitted. He also used to frequently tell me that he has suicidal thoughts and he will end himself etc .
After we went to our respective colleges once we had a big fight and next day he told me that he tried to end himself by jumping of the balcony but his friend (who he was staying with at the time),Luke, stopped him worrying for him I called Luke later and told him I was worried for Jake and to pls take care of him. He was confused by this and asked me why what happened. I asked him abt last night's attempt, he told me nothing of that sort happened. This opened a can of worms where it was revealed that he was making a fool out of me, guy owned a fucking Iphone and was telling me that his family was on hard times and taking money from me. This is also when I found out that their was no operation. I don't remember what else I found out that night but felt like a huge betrayal and I talked to 3 of his friends that night for quite a few hours where a lot of lies were revealed.
I broke it off with him, at this point I had lent a total of Rs.75-80k. He begged me for weeks for forgiveness, at first I laughed in his face but as weeks went by I started to miss us. He came to meet and win me back a few times at my uni. Eventually, a month later I forgave him on some conditions like he wont lie and share everything with me, won't tell me who or who not to be friends with (he did that before a lot).
Few months later the cycle started again, I was back to giving him money from the monthly spending amount I used to get(it was a lot at first bcz I was just settling in,now my monthy allowance is wayyy less). He did not like the friend group I was in so I stopped talking to them (bcz they knew abt our situation as I broke down crying in front of them when I found out abt all this so he felt like he lost respect and They didn't respect me etc, admittedly they weren't good and I would have distanced myself eventually anyways maybe cuz the vibe didn't match but that should have been my call I feel) and he still (>1 year later) yells at me if he suspects that I am casually talking to them.
My college is in a much smaller city so I go to meet him once to twice a month as he shares a flat with few ppl and the city has more activities to do. Other than the first few times (when we got back together) I pay almost if not all bills like gas (for his 2 wheeler) and food. It's very frustrating at times but I understand that he does not has enough money as his father does not send him enough to cover rent, food and expenses or so he says ( sighs IDK anymore guys what's true and what's not). Jake says his family is still struggling bcz his sister went to UK last year to study and that took a huge chunk of money and they have loans to pay, etc. I can believe this is true. Also he says they have virtually almost no savings left bcz business isn't doing great hence his father sends him rent t food expenses and says to manage The rest on his own (he does not has a job so guess where the money comes from 🤡).
In the Past few months admittedly he has not asked for money frequently but when he does its like a huge chunk. He has also taken loans (with interest) from some of his friends without telling me. He has done this multiple times before after I have repeatedly asked him to stop. (Embarrassingly I admit there are more instances when he has acted like a red curtain but I think I can write a book at this point if I list them all out so let's move on to the latest problem).
Onto The current issue Almost 3 days ago now, Jake called me (we already have been fighting for I don't even remember how many days at that point a week maybe?) and we told me that he was told by his dad that they have been unable to make payments for the loan they took from a person keeping their shop as collateral, they have to pay half the amount (Total amount was 5 lakhs) and interest which was 64k tomorrow to that person, they have arranged most of the money but are short by abt 30k. He asked me can I do something (steal or ask my dad). I refused as there is no money in my mother's closet anyway and I haven't talked to my dad in abt 3 months now. (ofcourse I did not outright refuse and just gave him my reas oning buz I'm a doormat 🥰🤡🤡). I pressed me to pls talk to my father about money and tell him I need it for my tablet (I bought one just a few days prior). I refused and said he won't give me money anyway.
He asked what about my mother's bank account, it must have something. One account is linked to UPI ( It's for making online payments in India) and one is not. The one that is linked does not have much money bCz my mother's salary has not been credited in 4 months. The other account has money but as it does not has UPI activated online payments cannot be done.I told him all of this. He asked can I activate the UPI if my mother's asleep and plz transfer him the money (also said to transfer it first to my own account so if she finds out then I can say my friend needed it so I have lent some for a month or two🙂 ) I mean maybe I could if I really wanted to but I have had enough, I do not want to steal. Now his family is potentially loosing the shop and he is blaming me for it. I have repeatedly tried to reason with him and told him that if I had the money in my account I would have given him (My account had 1k and I transferred him that😔). He says his blood relatives (his father's siblings refused to pay even a dime, I mean they and their children all are grown ups and have jobs and if They didn't pay how does he expect me, who does not has never had a job give him money, probably it's my fault I have enabled him enough every down time by giving him money so how he just expects everytime that I'll help bcz I am family).
He is still pressing me to give like 5k now bcz now he wants to go to another city and talk to the lender's brother to pls provide them with some Time. But I do not have the money 😕. He says that 'if I would have really wanted then I could but I did not think of his family as mine ', " U will understand my pain when U will loose something of yours for lesser value Than it really is " (The shop's market valve is 4O lakhs and they lost it for 5 lakhs) Also has called me quite a few names since then. He arranged 1K and said " I'm going today there I'll see what to do after reaching there." Says he wants to breakup ( it's pretty normal to say it's over after fights so I don't really know if he is even serious) for 2 reasons - 1. I did not give him money 2. When he will go to uni he won't have any spending money so he'll expect are to help out, and he knows I won't and he does not want that disappointment.
I mean TBH I wouldn't care if it were a few hundred rupees but it won't be, additionally I will be The one covering The costs as usual when I go to meet him. I won't have any money left for my own. And I really want to start saving up again. I have spent outrageous amounts of money in The past year (go figure the reason) and saved up nothing. Today he was still begging (he used the word) me to pls arrange the money. He said I leave for uni in 2 days after summer vacations so I'll get my allowance, technically I can ask for it in advance and give him. But I don't want to after he has treated me. Everytime I tell myself that this is the last time, I'll leave the next time he does this but I just stay.
I know I'm not responsible for him and his family but I still feel really guilty about not giving him the money. I know I should end things but it's just difficult to leave something which you have been attached to for so long, it just feels natural to you. Rn he owes me I don't even know how much but it's maybe around 1 lakh something. Not counting The amount of gifts (some he guilt tripped me into buying 🙄 ) I have bought him and the money I have spent on my trips to visit him. IDK if I'll ever see that money again probably not. Please also give me advice on how should I proceed with the breakup, I don't want him to do anything drastic like come to my house or call my mom to tell him abt our relationship (frowned upon in India).
I know the answer but still need the answer should I give him some money from my allowance and WIBTA if I don't ? (Sorry for any errors in writing, I'm writing on tablet with a stylus)