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Intro (Timestamp: 1:47) - Rachel: Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Leviss. Today, we are talking about part three of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. - Rachel: It has finally come to an end, season 11. It's been a long time coming, and we're here to react. I have my producers with me, and as usual, they will be asking me some questions to get my perspective on what we just watched during the reunion.
Well, first of all, I want to start off with asking you just your overall thoughts on the reunion, watching it. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 2:19) - Rachel: Overall, I just feel tired at this point. I don't enjoy watching this show, and (Rachel starts to get emotional) I'm just happy that it's over. It was good that they didn't talk about me very much this last episode, part three. - Rachel: That's great, but it's been really difficult watching each week. And I feel like I can finally start to move on from all of this, because it's been really difficult. It was really heavy and sad. - Rachel: And I think everyone on that cast is struggling. And I would be too if I was there. I mean, I'm struggling just watching it from the sidelines, so I can only imagine what it's like being on that stage.
So you're getting really emotional right now. Where is this emotion coming from? (Timestamp: 3:28) - Rachel: It's coming from a place of feeling like I haven't had much room to go. Feeling like stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Because this entire time, I have been preparing for them to slander my name, to paint me in the worst light. - Rachel: And my goal with this podcast was to be able to represent myself, to defend myself, to share what I've learned through my time that I took away and my recovery, and just to shed more light on the situation. - Rachel: And it hasn't been easy. It's been an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in a lot of different phases, getting sucked back into it, and then feeling like all consumed by all the comments and everything, and then completely cutting off communication with the outside world and living in my own reality in the moment. It's all about that balance, and it has not been easy to move on. - Rachel: I don't think it's been easy for any of the cast to move on rehashing it and talking about it and having other people tune in. It's not typical. It's not normal. And the day has finally come that the show, season 11, is over, and it's a relief to me because I don't have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. - Rachel: I don't have to think about what lies they're going to spread about me, and I don't have to think about what I need to defend myself about. And then following week, I feel like I can finally start to live my life again.
And so you're kind of talking about the boundaries that you've been setting by staying away and cutting people off, which obviously boundaries was a really big topic at the reunion. You obviously set some really strong ones by not returning to the show. What's your take on this discussion of boundaries? Do you agree with Lala or do you side more with Ariana when it comes to boundaries when it's in regard to filming the show? (Timestamp: 5:40) - Rachel: I could see both of their points of view. Setting a boundary for yourself is not an easy thing to do. And when other people are upset that you set a boundary for yourself, that's usually a telltale sign that that person is using you in some way and is not happy that you have this new boundary because it's not serving them. - Rachel: So, I can see why Ariana upholded her boundaries by not speaking to Tom, even though she actually did film with Tom this whole season, or for the later part anyway. But she refused to have that conversation with Tom at the end of the show, and I commend her for it because it would have been a fake conversation. You could tell that Tom, his only motive to having that conversation with her is for camera purposes and storyline purposes. - Rachel: Therefore, it's not an authentic conversation. It would have been crocodile tears, the whole thing. And I completely understand Ariana walking away. I walked away too, and people weren't happy about that either. - Rachel: For Lala's point of view, I can understand her perspective in wanting to have a good TV show for her livelihood and the longevity of her career. If you're going to commit to filming, then I can see why Lala is upset, because you are not only committing to filming with this person, I can see her point in that she is living under the same roof as Tom. - Rachel: They're living together, they're filming together, yet in Lala's eyes, Ariana is being stubborn by not filming with Tom, or that one scene. Who even cares about that one scene? I don't know. - Rachel: It's all so silly to me, but boundaries are important. I was in a place where I didn't have boundaries, and I was really trying to appease production and put on a good show. That became my priority season 10.
And where do you think the line needs to be drawn, you know? When at the end of the day, this is a paycheck and this is a job, versus this is someone's real life. You've talked a lot about wanting to live in reality. Where do you think that line should be drawn? (Timestamp: 8:32) - Rachel: I think that's an impossible question to answer when you're filming a reality TV show, because the line is so blurry, it's impossible to know what's real and what's not. And the more I'm out of it, the clearer I can see that. We see it with Tom Sandoval when he talked about production. - Rachel: He did the New York Times article, and he stopped talking mid sentence when a plane flew over or a truck drove by, whatever it was, because the audio, typically when we're filming a show and a plane flies by, you stop talking so that the audio can pick up normally without the distraction in the background. - Rachel: So it's like programmed in your mind to think a certain way, to act a certain way, to talk a certain way, to pursue certain things, where it becomes a part of your patterning. We also see the lines get blurred with Scheana and the comment section, and what is real life and what is not, what is her own true motivation for doing certain things, and what is influenced by outside commentary. - Rachel: That gets so blurry, and when you're all consumed in the perception of yourself, how can you really be sure that you're operating from a place of an inner knowing? That's a boundary that's blurred. With Lala, she clearly prioritizes the success of the show because she wants to secure her paycheck, and when people are setting boundaries for themselves and it's conflicting with what she wants and what is successful in her eyes, that sparks an anger within her. - Rachel: And it's all fabricated to a certain point because the bottom line is this show. So, I think it truly is impossible to live a real life and be on a reality TV show.
So, do you think it's fair for Lala to direct that anger towards Ariana? Or do you think she should be directing it more towards the show? (Timestamp: 11:12) - Rachel: Oh, no, not at all. I don't think that it's fair that Lala is directing that anger towards Ariana because Ariana has been very clear with her boundaries since the very beginning and…
I guess if she's feeling this way, do you think maybe she should have upheld her boundaries more if she was feeling so resentful towards someone doing the same? Do you think she's feeling like she regrets things that she had said in the past? (Timestamp: 11:35) - Rachel: I think she did uphold her boundaries. I think that she feels like she hasn't been supported the same way that Ariana is being supported. And it's probably not a good feeling, but she maneuvered differently than Ariana has. And Lala doesn't extend the same empathy towards others. So it's harder to support her, I believe.
She does make a point to say, many times, that she feels like things are not being honest on camera. She points out Tom and Ariana’s relationship being one of those things. Katie has a flashback moment where she also calls it out. Do you agree that things are not always honest on camera? (Timestamp: 12:12) - Rachel: Totally. Yeah. I think the point that Lala is making is that Tom and Ariana haven't been honest about their relationship on camera. - Rachel: And I think people are getting caught up in Lala being hypocritical because she wasn't honest about her relationship with Randall. Okay, yes, that might be true. But the point is that Tom and Ariana haven't been good for quite some time. - Rachel: And their relationship that was portrayed on camera for fans to see was not an accurate representation of their relationship. I see the frustration because I agree with that too.
Even on your part, how does it affect you as someone on the show when people aren't fully honest on camera? How does that affect the rest of the cast? (Timestamp: 13:21) - Rachel: Yeah, it affects everyone when people aren't fully honest on the show. I mean, I wasn't fully honest the season 10 reunion. I was still covering up for Tom Schwartz. - Rachel: I was still covering up for Tom Sandoval. I was still going along with that narrative, and it would have been much better to just be open and honest about it. But of course, Tom was like, no, that wouldn't be good for business. - Rachel: It wouldn't be good for Schwartz and Sandys if people knew that the Schwartz kiss wasn't authentic and we need that to seem real. So it does affect everyone when you're not being honest, because it portrays a certain picture that isn't reality, and the whole point of reality TV supposedly is to be real, following these real people's lives. - Rachel: So honesty would be like the most important value characteristic you would think that everyone on this show should have. But it seems like nobody does.
Well, speaking of honesty, Ariana kind of called out Tom and his motives behind wanting to apologize on camera. He finally does get that moment during the reunion to apologize to Ariana. He has some words when he does, he calls the affair something he regrets every day. He says that he wears it like a badge of shame. On your end, how did that feel watching that? (Timestamp: 14:46) - Rachel: It's hard to tell if Tom is being honest or not. Even in the Secrets Revealed episode, when he was asked how many girls he had sex with since me, and he had to pause and think about if he was going to be honest or not, he's just been caught in so many lies that it's hard to tell if he's being truthful. - Rachel: But hearing Tom say that he regrets getting involved with me every single day, I regret it too, so it is a little bit painful, but it's also like maybe something is registering for him. - Rachel: I don't know. But then again, his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He knows what words to say, and then it seems that he fails to follow through with meaningful action. And that's where true amends come into play.
There was just, I feel like, a lot of pain in the room all around. You kind of acknowledged that at the beginning of this episode. What do you think that this pain, and even Lala saying that she was okay seeing some of those friendships end, what do you think that means for the future of this group? (Timestamp: 16:07) - Rachel: I don't see much of the future for this group. It looks pretty shattered. It looks like these friendships are not healthy friendships. - Rachel: The dynamic between Lala and Scheana is not a healthy dynamic. It seems to be like a power imbalance. It seems like Scheana is trying to appease Lala to make sure she's secure, and she's getting certain needs met in that friendship because Ariana hasn't been around for Scheana the way that she's used to. - Rachel: Yeah, you could tell that Scheana’s struggling with coping with that. It seems like Lala's really on a wavelength of not effing with anybody on the cast right now. It seems like her friendship with Katie isn't strong because Katie's gotten really close with Ariana. - Rachel: It seems like even her friendship with Scheana is a little rocky. I think she sees Scheana as someone that's not...How do I want to say this? - Rachel: And I hate saying this word, because I don't want to like categorize somebody as something, especially because I've been called this before too. But I think seeing how Lala reacted to everything and how Scheana was trying to be the fixer and appease Lala, and it just didn't seem like enough for Lala. I think Lala sees Scheana as someone who is weak, perceived weakness. - Rachel: I'm not saying that Scheana is weak. And I think that there's a lot of alliances and manipulation happening, and none of that is healthy for our friendship dynamic. I can see why the show is taking a hiatus, because it just seems so fractured
Well, it definitely seems like at the very end of the episode, Scheana was very sure to get that last word in. I felt like she was looking directly at Lala and almost begging for her to hear her out that she was on her side. And it really did seem like the very end, Scheana had to choose. Is she Team Ariana or Team Lala? Do you think she made the right choice? Do you think she needed to make a choice, or do you think that she's putting this pressure on herself? (Timestamp: 18:21) - Rachel: Ooh, that's a good question. I think she feels a lot of pressure from the outside perspective, and she doesn't want to, obviously, like burn bridges with Ariana or anything. And I think Ariana has been very gracious towards Scheana. Do I think that she needed to choose sides? I don't think so. I don't know. - Rachel: I can see Lala's frustration probably because I'm sure Sheena and Lala have had conversations about the whole situation. And without Ariana there, I'm sure Sheena's singing a much different tune than what we're hearing at the reunion, and that's sparking some frustration in Lala. And I'm sure that was a similar feeling when she called out Katie about it too. - Rachel: So yeah, I think that Lala feels pretty isolated, I want to say, in her feelings. And now that it's aired, and I did check Reddit for the first time in a very, very long time, it seems like the majority of people are hating on Lala right now. I'm human. - Rachel: I do hold some resentment towards Lala for the way that she's treated me over the years. I do empathize with her a little bit because all the hate online is just a little bit ridiculous. And I think also people are afraid to speak a differing opinion than the team Ariana side because people are just ruthless online and they don't want to hear a differing opinion. - Rachel: And if you do, then you get shunned out, too. It's very, my therapist calls it tribal shaming, where if you're not following the rules of the tribe, spoken or unspoken, then you're cast out and you're shunned.
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I mean, it does feel like the fans have had more of an impact on this season than ever. Would you agree with that? (Timestamp: 23:24) - Rachel: Yeah, especially because as they were filming this show, the fans were boots on the ground. We're going to production, we're going to filming, and we're going to take photos and document what we saw and all that stuff. Like it was very interactive in a way. - Rachel: I think with after show this year, it was a little bit different because some things have changed since the ending of filming last summer. One of the things was me starting my own podcast and speaking freely about my experience and my opinion and the after show gave the cast an opportunity to rebut what I was saying and it provided more of a context. - Rachel: And I think with more time passing from the end of filming last summer to, you know, early January, February of this year, when they filmed the after shows, cast dynamics shifted because as we all know, now watching the finale, Lala and Ariana did not end on a good note whatsoever. - Rachel: And so, you know, she had some choice of words to say during the after shows. And it seemed like she really got Sheena to support her with that.
Speaking about the fracturing of this cast, something about her did recently open. Not many cast members were in attendance to this opening. What's your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:56) - Rachel: Interesting. Do you know who went? - iHeart Lady: I know Schwartz went - Rachel: It seems a little telling that maybe Sheena and Lala aren't on the best terms with Ariana right now, because they went to like the Broadway opening that Ariana did for Chicago. And they also went to Dancing with the Stars. But this is all before they knew that she didn't watch the show. And so that was all before the reunion and everything. So yeah, it seems like maybe they're not on the best of terms right now.
What are your thoughts on production holding the last five minutes until the reunion to show to everyone? (Timestamp: 25:47) - Rachel: I wonder if they got word that Ariana wasn't watching the season. And they did that as a way to ensure that they would get a reaction from her, kind of like forcing her hand a little bit, forcing her into a situation that she did not want to be in. It was very strategic in that way. And it was something new. Like, we've never done that before. It was creative, for sure, on production's part.
Do you think it was fair to Ariana? (Timestamp: 26:27) - Rachel: There's a commitment, and part of that is watching the show and having an opinion on what's happening besides your own story that you're sharing. So in a way, it's like ensuring that Ariana did have an opinion on it. So very eye opening, to say the least.
I want your take on Tom's final words. He says, I love it. It's good for me. A lot of people in the room were very shocked by that. Tom even has a reaction to it, where he shakes his head no. They didn't even really press him on what he meant by that either. What's your take on all of that? (Timestamp: 26:49) - Rachel: I wish they pressed him on what he meant by that a little bit more. And Ariana was pretty much the only person that called him out on it too. She caught it. - Rachel: She was like, that exactly proves my point, that you are doing things for the audience, for the production value, and for his own story purposes. I guess in Tom's eyes, having Ariana refuse to film and walk off was good for him because he felt like he completed his job and fulfilled his duty with what production was asking from him. And Ariana was not. - Rachel: And I think selfishly, he probably thought that it would give him a better chance of having more of a redemption story. - Rachel: Because, ultimately, production is the one picking and choosing what they're going to share on the show and edit and put certain music behind certain scenes to make it seem even more of a certain way. Tom knows how to play into that. But I would have loved to hear what his explanation for that comment would be.
Why do you think they didn't press him? (Timestamp: 28:34) - Rachel: I think that they're protecting him, like they always have been.
We did see something interesting at the very end with Lisa stepping up and taking Ariana's side, which is kind of a different tune. You've talked about this before, where she seems to protect the guys a lot of the time, but then she changes her tune at the very end of the episode and takes Ariana's side. What are your thoughts on that? (Timestamp: 28:39) - Rachel: I think Lisa is very strategic with what she puts out there as well. And she knows what people are saying about her, with her always supporting the guys. So that could have been a motivation behind her changing her tune and supporting Ariana in that way. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard because I think also Lisa is very aware of who the fan favorites are. It's her show. - Rachel: She's an executive producer on this show. So she's not a dummy when it's coming to that. I think it helps her if she is supporting Ariana because she'll praise Ariana for walking away and end up holding her boundaries. - Rachel: But then when it comes to me, I don't even remember what she said about me. But when it comes to me walking away and setting a boundary for myself, I've been told that I'm a coward and I'm running away from my problems. - Rachel: So that part for me gets a little frustrating because it's like, and also the fans praising Ariana for upholding her boundaries and walking away and supporting her and telling her like, you know, she's outgrown this show. - Rachel: She should move on and do something even better with her life. And she's finding out now that these aren't her true friends and like good for her for upholding her boundaries and walking away from this situation. And I've done the same thing and it has been met with scrutiny.
Lala compares her situation with Randall to Ariana a lot throughout this reunion. Do you think the two are similar at all? (Timestamp: 30:37) - Rachel: I don't think that the relationship that Lala had with Randall is comparable to the situation that Tom and Ariana were in. It's hard to get on Lala's side with some of the things that she's saying, because the way that she spoke about her relationship with Randall is like bragging about doing BJs for PJs and getting gifted a Range Rover very early in their relationship and not being honest about who she was seeing and the situation that was happening basically. And it just seemed like she was in it for the money and like to secure her success and fame. - Rachel: So it's hard to get behind that, especially when she's been so outright about it. Unfortunately, Randall wasn't the stand up guy that she was selling him to be. We weren't buying it. - Rachel: In Ariana's case, viewers got to see that relationship develop over the years, whereas with Lala's, he wasn't around, like it was secret for a while. And, you know, it's harder to develop feelings towards a person or a relationship when you're not seeing it play out on camera. I think Lala has a lot of anger, maybe even towards herself, for the situation that she allowed herself to be in. And I think she might be taking that out on Ariana.
How hard is it to be really honest when you're in this position? And do you think certain cast members have an easier time doing this? (Timestamp: 32:22) - Rachel: So this is like where your own values come in. Like, are you an honest person or are you not? Because there are people in this cast that are not, and we know who they are, and they have no problem lying, and it doesn't bother them when they lie. - Rachel: And for me, I'm working towards living a more authentic, honest life. And part of that is being honest with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and expressing that, and doing that in a way that is still respectful, because I'm not trying to hurt people in the process. And I am trying to express myself honestly and be true to myself. - Rachel: So I think it just depends on who you're asking. I mean, it's definitely not easy. It's definitely hard because you're on this platform, this public arena where you're opening yourself up to scrutiny. - Rachel: And if other people have differing opinions than you do, or if your opinion is the minority, you're basically going to be harassed and scrutinized. And so sometimes for people, it's easier to not be fully honest with their thoughts and feelings in order to save face or in order to go with more popular opinion because it's perceived to be safer that way. But I don't know. - Rachel: At this point, it's like your words aren't going to hurt me. You can say whatever you want to say about me online, and I've survived this far. So whatever else you say about me is not going to affect me any more than it already has. - Rachel: I've developed thick skin through this process, and I've come to the point where I value my friendships that are real in the sense of I interact with these people in real life. I care more about people's perception of me when they actually meet me and interact with me and the vibes I give off that way. So you get to a certain point where it's almost your duty to show up for yourself and be honest with how you feel and how you think about a certain thing in that moment. - Rachel: And your opinions can change with time too and with more information. It's not like I'm going to say this one thing and I'm always going to feel this way. It's always changing, it's always developing, we're always getting more information, and we're always experiencing new things that change our perspective on life. - Rachel: So it's just your duty to represent yourself in the most authentic way so that your people will find you.
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Well, I think there was one kind of shining moment, I'll say, even though it was a really emotional moment. But the moment between, and this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment between Schwartz and Katie, I found really interesting, where Andy was asking about their relationship. It seemed like this season, they had a little bit more of a playful dynamic. But Schwartz gets really emotional, saying that he doesn't regret how their relationship ended. But you can kind of see in his eyes that he tears well up. He gets really emotional. What did you make of that moment? (Timestamp: 38:08) - Rachel: We don't think we've really seen a moment like that between Tom, Schwartz, and Katie. It really seems like they've come to terms with how the relationship ended, and that it was for the best. But it seemed like there was a lot of fond memories and just appreciation for one another, that I don't think I've really seen that dynamic between them before. - iHeart Lady: To me, it seemed like in a season where there was a lot of hurt, that seemed like the one moment of maybe seeing two people that are going through the process of healing. - Rachel: Viewing that, it did seem like they were both coming from a place of healing, because they weren't throwing insults at each other or trying to bring each other down. It was very respecting one another and appreciating the moments that they did have together while it lasted. And that's refreshing to see on this show.
Lala said something at the very end where she said it was really hard for her to show up to season nine reunion, I believe it was. You know, she didn't want to talk about certain things, but she showed up. Ariana said the same thing where she could say the same about the season 10 reunion. She didn't want to be there. You could probably say the same thing about the season 10 reunion. You didn't want to be there as well. Is it fair to say everyone's been in a position where they didn't want to be somewhere, but they did anyway? (Timestamp: 39:44) - Rachel: 100%. Yeah, totally. And that's like the part of committing to this show. It's a commitment. And even though you don't quite know what you're signing up for, you know that it's not going to be necessarily easy. And there's a challenge in that. - Rachel: And I think, just speaking for myself, there was an opportunity for growth for me in that. Yeah, I think we've all been in a situation where we didn't want to show up for something and felt, I don't think obligated is the right word, but we made a commitment to being there, and we followed through with our commitment. And it's hard.
You started this episode off by acknowledging that there was a lot of healing that this cast needs to do. As someone who has taken a step back from filming, you've had this time to kind of come back to your own reality. What can this cast expect when you have that moment to kind of breathe and have that separation and you rejoin reality for a minute? (Timestamp: 41:07) - Rachel: Oh, okay. That is a loaded question. Because I think that there's a little bit of fear with not being the current topic of conversation. - Rachel: I think addiction is the wrong word, but there's a little bit of the dopamine hits that you get when you're being talked about on a reality TV show and the fear of that going away permanently could be a scary thing. But taking time off and re-centering with yourself, I think is like the best thing for this cast right now, because we don't want to be forced into situations that we don't want to be in. That's not living an authentic life. - Rachel: I mean, I've been worrying about scenes and storylines, and I haven't even been a part of this show, but now it feels good not to worry about that. And I do have to say, just like reading all the comments on Reddit right now, it's like hardly anybody is talking about me, which is a great feeling. It's just so much more freeing when you're not living your life for somebody else's entertainment anymore. - Rachel: It just feels like you get your life back a little bit. It's so complex, and I think it's hard to understand if you haven't been through being on a TV show for millions of people to comment on and judge your life. I don't think humans are meant for that, and there's no way that that's healthy. - Rachel: Yeah, I said that I think the cast, we have a lot of healing to do. We, as in, I still do too, and part of that is coming back to reality. And I really don't think that we've had a minute this whole season. I think it's going to be good for everyone.
Has this year though felt different to you? I feel like you're like half in, half out (Timestamp: 43:42) - Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's felt so different. But I think like a large part of that has to do with going to the meadows and really reconnecting with myself and learning about my issues and how it was showing up for me and really coming to terms with like, what is this piece of external validation and how is that motivating me? And is it even real? - Rachel: And just like really re centering back into myself and gaining a lot more perspective with that. Without the meadows, I would not be where I am right now. There's no freaking way. So it is. I'm living a new life. I really am. - Rachel: And I feel like I haven't really been able to truly have the opportunity to live my new life to the fullest because this show has been holding me back. And I know that that's partially my fault too because I'm indulging and speaking about it, but I'm really looking forward to the days when I can truly move forward and evolve into something even more magnificent.
Outro (Timestamp: 45:02) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast.
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I pured water in a mostly Teflon coated iron alloy pot that was completely clean but had ammonia like odor and then put the pot on my oven. as the water was slowly evaporating the smell of the solution in pot turned into something like burning rubber and after a while when the solution reduced to almost two cup the previously clear solution turned in some opaque with yellow color and some sediment solution. after a while the sediments precipitated and the solution turned almost clear yellow color. I think the sediment was related to the water hardness. then I washed the pot with dish washing liquid and repeated the process. the result was a solution with less but yet completely detectable yellow color. after repeating the process for more than 3 time I couldn't get a clear solution but the color was fading away. at last I introduced some diluted sodium hypochlorite (bleach) to the last result solution and it decolorized and turned white like clear water. what was the contaminants on my pot?! Here's the picture. https://freeimage.host/i/JbV78LG https://freeimage.host/i/JbV78LG From right to left: the pre boiling water, first boil, second boil after washing with dishwashing liquid soap, third boil after second washing with dishwashing liquid soap, and so on till last one that was same as others but that's after adding a little of bleach.
After doing some other tests I can say that The yellow color I mentioned Is not related to the water alone. The boiled water in fully Teflon coated pot gets no color but some white sediment that I think is due to water hardness. I'm guessing but The yellow color might be related to the some dissolved iron oxide that was related to the not coated part of the pot. Also the ammonia like odor has some contribution to the intensity of the yellow color. With the ammonia like odor I have a bright and yellow solution but without the odor the color is less bright and more fading. So I think the ammonia like odor thing should be able to do some oxidizing on the pot?! But if this is the proper explanation the bleach part remains unexplained. And I also boiled some of those contaminated water with almost a spoon of salt in a zinc-alloy cookware and after about 30 minutes of boiling I get this: https://freeimage.host/i/JbVu0PV Any idea?! Also I have to mention that the waters pH is above 8 and below 10. I can't determine it because of my limited lab ware

Incredible performance; my first time seeing Noah and was fully blown away by his stage presence and just how insanely powerful his vocals are live.
But I also want to bring up the crowd: we all have seen or heard just how terrible concert etiquette has become… Noblesville was not that. This was probably the friendliest, most carefree and considerate audience I’ve ever been a part of! Everyone was singing and dancing together, people were being mindful of those around them and one of the most shocking parts: hardly anyone had their phones out. It was so, so, SO nice looking around at all these people living in the moment and having the times of their lives.
If you were there with me last night, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this possibly the best concert experience I’ve ever had

So I am on day 9 of Dificid and still feel sick. I’m freaking out. My anxiety is high and I’m spiraling. I’m so scared my hands are trembling. Shouldn’t I be better by now? I am nauseated, stomach churning at times and still having mucous and soft weird looking poop. I also feel achy on the top right of my stomach from time to time like maybe around gall bladder. I think I may feel worse now than I did before Dificid. I felt pretty good yesterday during the day but last night was rough. I did add colostrum powder yesterday evening so don’t know if that could be making me feel worse or caused worsening symptoms. Any thoughts? Anyone else felt worse or had no change on Dificid? I have sent my ID doctor a message but with it being Saturday I don’t know if she will get back to me until Monday.

I don’t know where to start, this will be a long post. If you read through, thank you!
I first stopped speaking to my mother in 2019, I would now describe her as a covert narcissist but at the time I was just fed up with feeling like I was parenting an emotionally volatile teenager every time I spoke to her, every conversation ended in an argument and I was always to blame, always “breaking her heart”. I was an emotional (and on a few occasions as a teen, physical) punching bag and I just couldn’t take it anymore. For a few months her texts would switch between loving, heartbroken and scorned, getting meaner and meaner the longer I left them without a reply. She then started texting my boyfriend (now husband) to tell him how the no-contact was tearing her apart and giving him messages to pass on to me.
Fast forward, I fell pregnant at the end of 2021 and felt that she needed to hear the news from me. Less out of any actual desire to speak to her and more because I didn’t know what she would do if I let her hear it through the grapevine. I had read a couple of books about narcissistic parents by this point and set very clear boundaries for her. I would send her pregnancy updates and ultrasounds but I didn’t want unsolicited advice or constant phone calls and I was absolutely not prepared to hash out our “differences”. This was fine for a couple of months until is wasn’t and she stopped respecting my boundaries, called me non-stop until I answered and told me I was selfish if I didn’t want to talk. I pushed back and she told me to “have a nice life” and blocked me.
Our daughter was born 4 months later and at 4 days post-partum I got a text from her saying “I’m flying to name of my town on Friday, I don’t care if you don’t want to see me. You will show me my granddaughter through the window if you’re still not speaking to me”, I called her in hormonal hysterics while she was with friends and she answered the phone with this unnatural, sickly sweet voice and said “darling, you sound so upset what’s wrong? Do you have support at home?” It was like talking to a stranger, the thought of that phone call still sends a chill down my spine. My dad (they have been divorced for many years) eventually talked her out of the visit and she blocked me again.
This pattern has repeated itself multiple times over the past 2 years since my daughter was born, I set a boundary and she disregards it. I am selfish and she is heartbroken, she blocks me and I don’t hear anything for a couple of months. Then she begs me to unblock her so I can send pictures of her granddaughter. For clarity’s sake, I have never blocked her.
That brings us more or less to today. My family (husband, daughter, dog and I) will be moving overseas for work in about 2 months, this happened suddenly as is the nature of my husband’s job. We found out yesterday and my dad was the first person I told (we have a great relationship), he told his mom (my grandmother) and she told my mother. This morning I received multiple calls followed by a text from her telling me she’d like to have a “little chat”, reluctantly I worked up the courage to call her and she asked me straight away if we were moving overseas, I said yes. She told me “I will be coming to stay before you go” I told her that wouldn’t work, I have a lot on my plate preparing for the move and I would be lying if I said that a visit for her wouldn’t add more stress, she started to yell immediately asking “are you really so selfish that you can’t make time for your own mother?” I asked her to calm down and she said “now you’ve fucking done it, that’s it we’re done” and hung up, the whole call was less than two minutes and I hardly got a word in.
I couldn’t help it, I sat and cried for a while. As much distance as I have tried to put between us, hearing my mother speak to me that way still triggers this feeling inside of me and I revert back to this little child hiding in the corner of my room from my mom’s big feelings. I called her back and asked if we could talk calmly, my exact words were “I think your emotions are controlling you right now and I don’t want to leave things like that” unfortunately, she did not stay calm. She told me her heart was broken for me because one day my daughter would cut me off too and I’ll have regrets about the way I’ve treated my own mother, she said I am a my father’s surname through and through, that I’ve always been a selfish bitch who never thinks about anyone else’s feelings, she then told me to have a nice life (again) and that she never wants to speak to me again. She hung up after that.
I guess I just don’t know where to go from here. I feel sick and anxious and I’m not completely convinced that she won’t just turn up to my house anyway. The words “no-contact” sound so clear cut and linear but I feel like my journey has been anything but. Sometimes I think she’s right and I really am selfish for wanting distance, but accomodating her feelings constantly and mentally preparing for her next emotional tirade every few months is also affecting my ability to be present and healthy in my relationships with my own family.
I should mention that she has made no effort to take accountability for our relationship breakdown in the past 5 years. She will ask if I’m “over it yet” or resort to a disingenuous “fine, I was a terrible mother and I never did anything right” type of apology, she also laughed at me when I asked her to seek therapy if she wants any kind of real relationship in the future.
If you’ve read this far and you’re comfortable sharing, please tell me how you cope with the turbulence of no-contact or with emotionally immature parents in general. I would be so grateful to just know that I’m not alone in this.

My prayer request is for the Holy Spirit to remove this demon from me, and I Be baptized in His spirit. Everything below this is just my nightmare life.
I came to Christ 4 years ago and after a year into that, the great passion and happiness, I would bless and pray for people I walk by, small creatures i seen id bless them, id touch trees and pray for them, i was in love. I now despair daily and pain is endless. Every day is just dread and fear. I know I'm displeasing to God and I'm too weak to be a shining lampstand, teacher, and too weak to demonic influence.
I have been sapped of my ability to praise and worship without self doubt. "You're just brown nosing", "you're not worshipping in spirit and truth", "you'll never worship in spirit and truth", "he knows your heart is weak and fake", "your words mean nothing to Him''. Knowledge has drained me of hope. All the stipulations. The complexity of the Word and how many are thinking they're saved and aren't.
2 years ago, I once spent a single night being shaken awake over 30 times. Huge spike of heart rate, physically being jerked, and followed by terrible thoughts. In a single night over and over again. This has happened many other nights with only a dozen or so times being shaken awake.
But nearly daily, I fight off assaults of horrendously and ungodly thoughts. It's miserable. No true child of God must suffer this. I feel like a faker piece of garbage. Everyday is hopelessness and God just gets farther away and I feel He doesn't care. Just another one for the massive garbage heap. Another weak piglet for the slaughter.
I just spent the last 36 hours fighting swirling terrors in my mind. Non stop onslaught of physical dominance over my mind. I can't read, I can't think, I just wrestle a near unstoppable force. Slinking further and further from God.
I wouldn't wish what I've gone through the last 2+ years on a cereal killer. It's horrendous. It shouldn't exist. This shouldn't be life. Life should be better than this.

Hello friends, I am now in the process of weaning my boy off keerpa after he collided with a table and suffered two seizures. We've been on Kerrpa for a month and the vet has suggested we wean him off. We've been on 1/4 a pill per day for four days (including today), and he's experienced two panic attacks which was last night and tonight. (Shivering, hiding and lip licking) I didnt notice anything like this while he was taking morning and night.
As far as I know, this occurs exclusively at night. I'm wondering whether it's PTSD because his Accident did happen at night? As far as I know apart from it being night there aren’t any triggers..It’s just me and him watching Tv.
I wonder has anyone experienced this while weaning off Kerrpa?
Our vet is closed tomorrow and I’ll be making an appointment for Monday morning. I’ve also given him a dose of his Kerrpa just incase (last dose was at 1pm and it’s 10:55pm).
Thank you from an anxious mum

I (34m) met a woman (26f) on Hinge and we have been seeing each other for 3 weeks.
Right off the bat our conversation and chemistry have been excellent. She is smart, sweet, attentive and her dating goals match mine which is to find a long term partner and have a family. Our goals, hobbies, and values are similar and I am feeling like we're very compatible.
We've been on three dates and a couple of hang outs, lots of touching and kissing and fooling around but no sex yet, though we have talked about what we like and want and she is staying over tonight and it's clear that's where we want to take the night.
At our last hangout last night where we spent a couple hours talking and sitting and having dinner on a local hang out patio, she revealed that in March before she moved back to our mutual hometown, she had struck up a friendship with a married guy at her gym that over the course of a year turned more flirtatious and they eventually had sex one time after she told him she was moving away. She was not in a relationship so was not cheating herself, but she knew he was married. She seemed very remorseful and trying not to cry when she told me about this, and from her recounting it sounds to me like this guy likely manipulated her to some extent telling her how lonely he was, wife wasn't taking care of him etc Per her telling, they've had no contact after sleeping together and she claims to have no interest in contacting him.
I was non judgemental when she was telling her story, but made it clear I thought it was a shitty thing to do but we've all made mistakes we're not proud of. I did ask her what she learned from the situation and what she would do differently, but she was pretty emotionally charged at the moment and didn't have any good answers, just to be more picky about men.
I commended her for telling me this when she didn't have to, which though she did a terrible thing she likes me enough and has the balls to come clean on this before we moved towards anything more serious
I have my own checkered past including drug addiction, jail, and generally degenerate behavior but I've never cheated or been someone's affair partner. I believe in second chances and people making positive changes as I have been clean 7 years and made a nice life for myself. She is aware of the broad strokes of that part of my life and was very accepting and non judgemental about it.
At the end of the day, I am really enjoying getting to know her, she's beautiful and I feel good around her, but now I have some fears that she may be the type to make poor or hurtful decisions when it comes to sex and relationships.
What else should I ask her about this, and does reddit believe someone who willingly became someone's affair partner can be a good faithful partner in their own relationship?
Tl;dr I am seeing a woman who knowingly became a one time affair partner shortly before I met her. I'm now feeling conflicted, can people be better or is she for the streets (/s)?

I had this happen while sleeping the other night. It could have been a projection or maybe not. and it has happened before though not often. I became conscious of something bothering me, I don't know what. I wasn't aware of any unpleasant entity at all. But it could have been some kind of encounter. I was just too deep to realize what was going on. But... I became semi conscious and maybe there was some entity there IDK. I'm not new to AP. I've been an avid reader of all the books for many years. Probably have most all of them. I've had a several almost projections consciously.
Back to the event. I became partially conscious of something really bothering me, 'I guess'. I had been requesting help from my guides on attaining astral projection and had been doing this for many times. Then in this event I started yelling or even screaming for my wife to come help me. She came into my room and asked what the problem was. In my dreamy state I could hardly answer but only said I was okay and the memory was fading but I was okay now. As I said this has happened before and it scares me as to what it might have been. I'm well aware that there's nothing to fear in astral projection and as one author says it's as safe as sleeping.
Last night I made the affirmation that I was enclosed in a protective white light from God as well as a request to my guides. and I did have a quite peaceful night.
Do any here have any thoughts on what was going on in my experience? thx much Was someone trying to lift me out? and I couldn't handle it? Did I meet one of my guides?

SOMEONE--ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I COULD NOT WATCH THE RAYS/ORIOLES GAME ON MY XFINITY MLB EXTRA INNINGS PKG LAST NIGHT. I KNOW COMCAST FKD THINGS UP WITH BALLY SPORTS WHICH CARRIES THE RAYS. BUT THIS GAME WAS IN BALTIMORE SND BROADCAST THROUGH MASN-TV 😡SO I'M NOW PROHIBITED FROM WATCHING THE ORIOLES EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE A HOME GAME AGAINST THE RAYS. WHY DOESN'T COMCAST JUST CALL ITSELF THE FKG MAFIA AND GET IT OVER WITH? THEY HAVE THE WORST BUSINESS MODEL IN AMERICA. SIMPLY TERRIBLE !!! Doug T Sarasota, FL

Just as the title says. I want to start out by saying I do live with my mom along with one of my brothers (19). My mom and I split the bills evenly and I work full time. My mom got divorced back in 2013 to my step dad, before then my mom and I never had a healthy relationship, she always chose her husband and their sons( half brothers) over me. I was in and out of the house living with either friends or grandparents. After the divorce we reconnected and have been getting along since then. Fast forward to now, last night after I got off work she told me she was going out with her boyfriend. I was like okay cool have fun then she told me he was going back to Mexico( where he’s from) & when he gets back she’s going to get married and move her boyfriend and his son in. I was shocked but didn’t say anything after. I want to add that since they’ve been dating my brothers and I never met him not once. We know his name and that’s it. He’s been invited to many dinners and family functions and will ghost my mom or say he’s scared of my brothers “beating him up.” They also NEVER spend time together, maybe like once every five months and they live in the same town. I told her that was weird and she replies “that’s an adult relationship.” I disagree. I know that yes, I can move out, which will take a bit of time for me to gather money to do so but I will do it. I also know one of my brothers (19) that lives with me and my mom will want to leave as well and I’m more than happy for him to live with me & before I get any hate in living with my mom in my 30s, I want to add we’re Mexican and living with parents until marriage is the norm, along with other reasons I chose to stay. The other two brothers (26) & (28) live on their own. I spoke with them and they also said it was very odd but that I can’t do anything about it. I want my mom to be happy but I just find this very odd and I have bad feelings about this.. even if I was on my own I’d still have these feelings. Despite her being independent when she’s with a man she always follows the man’s lead even at the cost of her children, atleast that’s how it was for me growing up. He has three more children he wants to bring and move in with my mom. We don’t have enough room for them, we live in a three bedroom two bath single wide. Years ago she mentioned this when we lived in another house and wanted to move him and all his children in and my brother was still in highschool so she didn’t do that but know that’s their goal. I just want to know if I’m over reacting? I want her to be happy but there’s so many red flags, atleast to me. How do I bring this up to her without sounding like I’m being selfish?

To be clear, I did jump in near the top. I did not fully understand and was caught up in the hype. I did not really know anything about the stock, but it seemed that the momentum was unstoppable. Then it bottomed out...at .95 cents when I saw it again. Everyone rallied and kept it above a dollar. Even though I was down BIG, I held on. The more I learned thru Reddit the more I questioned what I had done. FOMO? I see that now. When the stock bottomed at 37 cents, I wondered how I could have lost 30 years of savings? If I cashed out now, I could at least have almost a years salary left. That was better than nothing. Then the price moved up to 55 cents. That was a little better. Then I started trying to find anything to convince me not to sell, but knew it was not likely. Thankfully I saw that life preserver when I saw Maximum Purpose's posts while watching Omar Gosh's last live post. I figured I owed it to myself to listen to the whole 2 and a half hours before I finally threw in the towel and sold everything I had.
THANK GOODNESS I DID WATCH IT!!! 2 and a half hours later, I knew I would not sell. If I did, I would forever regret it. After watching the video and getting a more detailed explaination, I knew I needed to HOLD and ride this out. I saw everyones positive posts, but that was not enough when combined with all the negativity everyone was pushing.
BEFORE YOU GIVE UP,...you owe it to yourself to look at the information MAXIMUM PURPOSE and OMAR GOSH put out in that last live video. If at the end of the 2 and a half hours, you still are convinced to sell, then you were never holding for the bigger purpose. HOLDING NOW WILL MAKE YOUR MONEY BACK AND MORE!!!! I understand people ARE SCARED, but PLEASE LOOK AT THE LATEST INFORMATION provided from the ones who are still holding. NOT the HATERS!!! I believe in the movement now. If you can honestly not see the bigger picture of why this squeeze will work if everyone HOLDS, then I hope you made a profit or at least didnt lose too much, so that you can look back and NOT regret selling early, and I wish you the best. But you owe it to yourself to look at the OMAR GOSH's LIVE YOUTUBE video and MAXIMUM PURPOSE's posts from FRIDAY 5/31/2024, before you give in to the negative information that has been pushed. IT IS NOT ABOUT THE VALUE OF THE STOCK AT THIS POINT.....IT IS HOLDING TO MAKE THE HEDGIES PAY FOR THE DAMAGE THEY ARE CAUSING TO EVERYONE WHO HAS INVESTED ANY MONEY AND LOST ........HOLD STRONG.

FFIE CEO Exposes Short Sellers !!! OMAR GOSH LIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0qqzBAlY0o

Maybe someone could answer this for me. It took me over a year and considerable suffering before I could get my GI NP to agree to give me an at home SIBO test. My results were positive for an overgrowth and I was prescribed Xifaxan. The NP left me an e-mail on my Hospital patient porthole informing me of lab results and that she had called the prescription into my CVS. The next day I called and automated service reported that they were in process of filling. I called the next day and same, in process of filling. I called the next day and received the same message. I got in my car and drove to the CVS and was told in front of other people that my insurance did not cover the medication. I work for a town and have Blue Cross Blue shield, so I was surprised that my insurance wouldn't cover an antibiotic. I went home, called my insurance, they assured me that I was covered fully, but was told that because of the circumstances, my doctor needed to get a preapproval and apparently had not done this. I called that office back but due to circumstances and lunch breaks, nothing was called in until after I had gone into work. At this point I have a pre approval status of approved from Covermymeds, my insurance company has approved this and I am now on day five of not having my medication. If I call, the automated response as of last night is that they are currently working on it. If the automated response system had a message that had alerted me to what was really going on, I would have been able to alert my Health care provider earlier and I wouldn't be sitting here suffering for NF reason. It is currently Saturday, almost 8am and my GI doctor left me a message on Monday, May 27th with lab results, which means she would have called that prescription in on Tuesday morning, the 28th.

Hello men of reddit
48 F would like your advice as I may be misreading a situation
I messaged a guy friend just under two weeks ago about an art event we were planning to go to in our home town together . he asked me to let him know about as he wanted to go with me.
I have not heard back yet and it’s bothering me as I feel his lack of response indicates he is no longer interested In attending. It could be as much to do with the event which is on until end of first week in July so maybe he doesn’t feel the need to sort as early as I do. He has replied to me about other matters so not Ignoring me totally, he has just not mentioned the event
his replies to texts can be delayed sometimes as I think he responds to how urgent they are to him. though when he does text he matches the energy and are not short responses. The Obvious thing to do is call him about the event, Though as I’ve already got it into my head he doesn’t want to go I am reluctant to call in case he sees this as Needy which might put him off
So unsure on next move. Am I being unreasonable in expecting a reply just yet given the event is on for a while, or is the lack of reply so far a brush off?
For context he did reject a relationship with me late last year, but we have remained friends as we were prior to the rejection. He suggested going to the event long after the rejection.
Would appreciate your thoughts from a male perspective, thank you!

Hey Reddit, this is more a personal rant than full on update. Things are only starting on the legal side of things, so no real update or information I'm allowed to share.
This is more on the personal side of things since I just came home from having my mother harrass me in a bar. It was fun.
Short background: my mother is a greedy liar that let her stepson Chris (who's 13 years older than me) abuse me since I was a small child. First physical abused, then SA. SA started when I was 14 until I was 16. Now she wants me to clear his student debt. And she had been mooching off my biological father's inheritance.
As for last night, well I decided to go out with some girlfriends for a girls night. My half-brother Sam and his wife Sandy have been pushing me to go out for a while. We went to a local bar. I mostly stick to the stools by the bar as I'm a massive introvert, but I like seeing my friends having fun. So I was simply drinking and talking to the bartender in passing.
Well, my good mood was ruined when I noticed my mother, thankfully alone, walk to me. The moment she saw me she pretty much launched herself to hug me and began crying, saying how much she had missed me and how different I looked. I was trying really hard to get away from her, but she began causing a scene.
She's starting begging for us to 'reconcile'. That she was sorry I took my stepbrother's affection the wrong way. That they both love me and want me to live with them. She was loud and people were looking at me. Some even look sorry for her and I had people encouraging me to hug my mom back. It was embarrassing and just so wrong. I just exploded and told her to leave me alone and walked out.
That was even worst because she kept following me with two or three randoms calling me an asshole and terrible daughter.
She just kept swearing Chris truly cares for me and wants us to be a 'family again'. She even said that he found me so beautiful that he couldn't help himself when he SAed me (she said 'when he made love to you'). I was a minor when he attacked me. He was almost 30. I just started crying and screaming at her to go away and leave me alone.
Thankfully one of my more sober friends called Sam and he came over very fast. He scared away my mom and took me home. I'm now 100% sure I don't want to go out.
For people wondering why I never call the cops: I called the cops since I was 11 to report the abuse. I reported at 16 what he did to me. They took his side. I don't trust them. I truly believe cops don't care about SA victims.
I'm just writing this to get it out of my system. My therapist is unavailable, so Reddit is the next best thing.

Hello! Let's get straight with it, so here's my introduction below {Only looking for a serious long-term relationship that lasts until the end 🥲🙏}
° ° °
My intro~:
Female, aged 23, already working, and living in the Philippines!
My physical characteristics~: Dark eyes and hair, fair skin, chubby, 5'4ft
Hobbies~&~Likes

• Reading Webtoon comics/Mangas
  
• Making (digital/trad) artworks
  
• Stargazing
  
• I love the beach! (Not a great swimmer tho😂)
  
• Pets
  
• Watching anime/ history/ true crime
  
• Listening to music (kpop/jpop/pop)
  
• Cute & Cozy games (PC/PS4) (Hoping to play stardew valley with that special someone q-q)
  
• Baking/ Cook food
  
• Gardens (flowers/ butterflies)
  

° ° °
To easily filter out what I'm looking for, here's my preferences (please don't hate me for this x-x;):
• Finding someone who is in Asia in my location (had the same timezone as me) and/ or willing to travel/ can relocate (preferred)
• I am attracted to certain ethnicity/races ( Japanese, Koreans, Caucasians, mixed...)
• I prefer Ages 23-28
• Alright with having to call everyday and sending pics to each other :) (non-negotiable)
•Loves to have kids/pets in the near future
• Honest and also talkative despite being introverted (like me 😆)
° ° °
Anyone is still welcome to message me despite the preferences above 😁 no worries!
° ° °
But!... Please do put your Age, Introduction, Nationality, Location, Physical characteristics etc....A guy putting on an effort and a genuine selfie of you would definitely be a plus!
I won't reply to guys who only put one liner text, low effort messages, or having creepy profiles😓 No NSFW [°~° "] or any unsolicited sexual convos.
° ° ° .-.-.
• Put "💐" in your msg/chat, if you've read the whole thing ! 😊 Goodluck and I hope to hear from you soon✨ •