Hello everyone, first of all English isn't my first language, I'm on mobile, and I tend to ramble, so I'm sorry about that. I (34F) am in a short relationship (4 months) with L (28M), he's very kind and sweet, and I'm still adapting to this whole new relationship thing, for this last sentence I'll give you some background. My last serious relationship lasted for 3,5 years between me (24F at the time) and F (21M at the time). It started after we matched on a dating app and we went on our first date. Our first date was crazy perfect, he picked me up on a garden and we went to a tattoo/piercing shop where we got pierced. We talked for hours until evening, and he invited me to eat pizza at his place with his dad lol. It was super late by then, and I lived far far away, so we slept together just cuddling, nothing else. Since then we would meet each other every day. One time (6 months into the relationship) he rear ended another vehicle while going back home. So I decided to move closer to him, because the commute was getting to us. So I did. One week into the new lease, I had an accident and broke my ankle. So he decided that it was better for me to stay at his place to recover (bigger house, access to vehicles, and accessible in general). Three months and two surgeries after I decided it was time for me to go home, but he would convince me to "postpone just one more week" every time, and I would always oblige (I know the little doormat I sometimes am). And things would go like that until I hit the one year mark into that lease. And I said to him "or I move back home or I move definitely here, there's no middle therm", so I moved into his place. I offered to pay rent but he refused. Until this moment the relationship was perfect, his father also lived at that place, and we would always cook together, sing together, go for short trips, etc. But after a while I started to have symptoms of anxiety and depression. Until one day I had a panic attack by just sitting in front of my computer at work. I started to treat that and the doctors said I would have to stop work for a bit, because it was super serious (I don't want to go into too much details for that). At the beginning he was super supportive, but now I know that to have a relationship with someone w/ depression and anxiety it's super hard, 0/10 not recommend. So he and his friends started to be petty to me, and I noticed. One day me, him and his friend went for dinner and I got catchup for me. His friends started to berate me on how catchup is bad for my health and that I should stop using it. I simple replied that every time I see him he is smoking his cigarettes and I never said nothing. Or one time that his friend started to talk bad about gold digger women and insinuate that I was one, because I wasn't working. Before stopping to work I had a career in IT, while my bf had an assistant warehouse job, and I used to earn way more than him (that was never important to me before, honestly). So I said "I know I'm not working, but as soon as I get better I'll earn 4 times more than my bf, so your argument doesn't apply". Just wanted to point out that I had my savings, and I was living off it, paying for food, and other bills. My bf then was very mean and cold to me too, and at one point I asked "Do you want me to move out?" and he said "yes". "After that will you break up with me?" And he said "yes". So I activated my survival mode, and started to work my way into leaving. Between that, and getting a job, I started to pack my things quietly, and applying for jobs. All that while mourning the relationship. For him, I was doing nothing, but I was actually already in the way of signing a new lease, going to interviews and packing my things (and hiding in the house), I wanted to just disappear, I felt humiliated to not be able to leave in the next day after that talk. One day he went after me for sex, and I said "don't be like that, I feel like a piece of meat", he answered "so I'm going downstairs to get some salt then", and from that moment on, all the good feelings I had were replaced by disgust and disdain. A couple days after he asked me what I was going to do on next weekend, because he would go on a trip and wouldn't be home, and I said "nothing". I actually went to help the landlord to clean and paint the new place, since I wanted it to be ready ASAP. And I could move in next Wednesday. When I broke the news to him, he looked surprised and said "already??". So I kinda moved all out in less than a day. After that he would always go after me. I was 27 by then, and from that moment on the idea of a relationship would always make me sick. So I had the crazy teenager phase (since I always had long relationships before) and decided that I would be alone. I started to draw a plan to move to New Zealand, as far away from my ex possible and the plans didn't go through. But 3 years later I moved to Europe, my ex would always send messages saying he missed me, even when he was on a relationship, and in one of my birthdays he sent me a picture from his wallet with my picture in it. I replied politely, but I felt disdain honestly. We haven't talked in years now, honestly, and I'm alright with that. I was single for 7 years icking the idea of going through all that again. Ok, so now, what's happening? I'm 34 now, and I have my cute sweet new boyfriend, and every time he comes here to sleep with me I dream that I sneak out the bed to sleep with my ex. Even though I would never do that, even if he was in other bed next to us. I always feel guilty and dirty, like I'm cheating. I spend the days thinking that I should tell my bf, but I don't want to hurt him. All I feel for my ex is disdain and ick. But I feel like I'm hiding something. What do I do?
TL;DR!: Every time my bf sleeps over, I dream that I sneak out of the bed to go to sleep with my ex, and my brain thinks I'm cheating.

[INDEX]
I banked the fire and stared into the golden eyes of Beatale before I crept into my makeshift tent.
I still had my auric vision running and couldn’t help but notice the thin silver cord that ran from me to Horse. Firming up my aura, I reached out with my hand and grabbed it. I could feel the nearly imperceptible vibration between my fingers as I used my mind to probe at the thread. I could feel a bright spark of intellect, a light at the end of a tunnel. Pushing with my mind, I slid down the thread until the spark grew larger and eventually filled my inner vision with a hazy white light. Horsey thoughts nudged at me curiously.
I slid into the haze and immediately lost all sense of direction. If it wasn’t for the silver thread, I’d have no idea how to exit this shifting white fog. Horsey thoughts got stronger as I followed the thread while the haze thinned and cleared to reveal an endless prairie of green grass. I found myself standing before a naked man wearing a horse mask and I stared in shock. It was obviously me wearing a cheap costume horse mask — there was no mistaking my tattoos.
“What did you expect?” Horse neighed at me. “I am you and you are me and we are all together. Goo goo ga joob.”
Horse made a shooing motion with his hands and I accelerated backwards through the white haze and slammed into my own body with a gasp. I stared at the tarp overhead for a long minute, processing this new revelation. Horse was a part of me, a piece of my spirit. Whatever psychic stuff I did with that silver cord lead me into a house of mirrors where I got to look at myself pretending to be a horse. I can’t even deal with that right now.
Rolling into my blankets, I dropped off to sleep.
*Ding*
-=- - Welcome to the Dreamworld - Included in the Psychic Skills pack, the Inner Sanctum is your psychic domain. It is the mental fortress that you must secure and maintain to defend against psychic and spiritual assaults. All of your neurosis and fears are symbolised in this realm and must be defeated or subjugated before you can become master of the domain. Good luck. -=-
I banished the pop-up and looked around. I knew I was asleep, but everything was just as real as when I was awake. I was breathing, I could feel the floor under my feet, and if it weren’t for the pop-up, I would have sworn I had been teleported. The room I was in resembled an oversized luxury prison cell, maybe a thirty foot cube. No windows. Rough stone walls with thick mortar. Large brass wall sconces were set directly into the stone and suffused the room with a warm, golden light provided by glowing rocks. The stone floor had colourful Persian rugs tastefully placed. A high plaster ceiling was painted with a rendition of Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’, depicting me as both Adam and God.
There was a comfy sofa in front of a large screen television that hung from one wall and an ornate grandfather clock ticked loudly in the corner. It was currently 10:08 PM. Another wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf, stuffed with books of varying sizes. The third wall was covered with pictures and I could see at a glance that they were images from my life. The fourth wall had a thick riveted steel door on the right side, a full sized mirror on the left, and a computer workstation in the middle.
The picture wall was my first target. A few were quite large, nearly life sized, while others were tiny prints no larger than the palm of my hand. Scenes of my life were displayed in each one. The largest was me riding Horse with a shit-scared expression, shooting at a pack of wolves. Others were smaller, each with different frames. Some ornate gold or silver, others plain wood, a few wrapped in briars or barbed wire. Nanny Ramsey holding me as a young child. My dog Jean with a red ball in his mouth. My parents, screaming at me. I turned my attention to the books. Books are safe. Books don’t judge you.
The sweet, musty scent of a used book store filled my nostrils as I drew close to the honey coloured shelves. Hundreds of volumes filled the wall from floor to ceiling, with a ladder that could be rolled along a rail to access the top. I smiled at the sight. I had always wanted a library like this. I pulled a book at random and read the title, “Confused Fantasies about Joseph Harris, part XXIV of the Middle School Years”.
I slid the book back onto the shelf. Let’s see what’s on TV.
The remote was a slim, futuristic looking affair with a minimum of buttons. I pointed it at the television and moments later the huge screen came to life and presented me with a simple menu for movies, divided into six categories: Happy, Surprised, Afraid, Disgusted, Angry, and Sad. I scrolled through the offerings for a minute, reading the titles and reviews about the movies of my life. It really bothered me that there were so few selections in the Happy section.
The number of Sad movies increased by one.
I walked over to the mirror and noticed there was a small sticky note pasted to it. “Astral Realm. Experienced users only.” I shoved the note in my pocket and stared at my image. Sturdy black boots, black denim jeans and shirt with mother-of-pearl buttons, deep brown gun belt slung at my hip, red bandanna and black felt hat. All I needed was a pencil moustache and I would look like the stereotypical villain in any spaghetti western. At that very moment I decided to grow out a goatee. I’d rather be mistaken for a bad guy than a victim.
So how does this astral realm thing work?
The mirror appeared to be nothing more than a mirror. It was cold, smooth glass surrounded by a wrought iron frame, and reflected my image. I didn’t necessarily want to go walking into danger, but I wanted to know how it worked. I pushed and prodded the glass in frustration until I noticed my image grinning at me. I jumped back in surprise and it doubled over in silent laughter.
“Hilarious, dude. You got me,” I huffed. “So how do I get in?”
My mirror-self tipped his hat and stepped to side.
I reached up to the mirror again and my hand passed through, vanishing as if cut off. Okay, just a quick peek and we’ll explore the rest of the room. I stepped through and the world shifted around me. I was standing back at the campsite. My body was insubstantial as a ghost and the tarp was a wisp of substance running straight through me. Non living things don’t seem to have much presence in this realm. Glancing down, I saw my sleeping body rolled up in the blankets, a thin silver thread running from it to me, and another thread running to Horse.
Looking around, I surveyed the campsite. My astral vision seemed to be on and had an unlimited range. I could see the life all around me, the distant forest was a sea of greenish-gold, grasses and brush nearby glowed with spectral light. Tiny ghost insects scurried while ghost mice nibbled at whatever ghost mice nibble on. Ghost seeds and ghost insects, I suppose. I turned my attention overhead and gaped at the sight of a monstrous serpentine spirit flying through the inky void. I dropped back through the tent and rolled inside my body. That was plenty enough for now.
I rolled through the mirror and landed flat on my back, staring at the fresco on the ceiling. Vinnie-God winked at me and Vinnie-Adam grinned. Climbing to my knees, I brushed non-existent dust from my trousers and watched mirror-me doubled over in soundless laughter.
“Hey, laughing-boy!” I yelled at him. “You’re like the guardian or something, right? You got it covered?”
Mirror-me stood and saluted with a smile, then gave me two thumbs up. A moment later, his face took on a serious expression and he wriggled his right hand in the ‘maybe’ motion. Then he pointed at me, tapped his wrist, and then a finger to his head.
It all depends on how fast I learn stuff, I guess.
Two thumbs up and a winning smile reflected back to me.
A large cork board was mounted to the wall over the computer and a small note was pinned to it. “Note to self: Don’t fuck with the Elvish womens.”
The computer screen featured a screensaver of me as Vitruvian Man doing callisthenics over the words ‘HumanOS’. I tapped the spacebar and was rewarded with the sound of powerful fans kicking to life as the computer emerged from sleep mode and prompted me for a password. Should I assume it’s the same as the password on the computer I pawned in my previous life?
Password: *******esi
I was rewarded with a sweet R&M desktop and a couple of icons. System, NeuralNet, My-Tunes, My-Movies, My-Office.
System was just what I expected, lots of .dna files and other confusing scariness that allowed me to tweak my physical body and mental state. My-Tunes was a collection of every song I’d ever heard and My-Movies was a collection of every movie I’d ever seen. Not that I’m complaining, but it would have been nice to have “My-Games” so I could play RDR. My-Office was a clone of the popular software by a similar name. I have no idea what I’ll ever need a spreadsheet for in this world.
NuralNet opened up a search engine called Me-Seeks, featuring a familiar blue guy.
I typed in “beer” and several thousand results were displayed, anything I’d ever read, heard, or watched about beer, including how to make it. This right here made the price of admission totally worth it, access to an exact copy of everything I’d ever read, and I was a voracious reader. Sadly, most of the stuff I read was futurology — solar panels, electronics, biotech advancements, quantum computing. The material for steam engines, blacksmithing, farming and the like, were slim pickings. That’s okay though, I could still reproduce the Gutenberg press, the cotton gin, simple internal combustion engines, and basic batteries along with some sketchy knowledge of metal alloys, acids, bases, and other things I had read over the years. All that wasted time watching “How Things Work” was finally going to pay off. I copied a few likely money makers to My-Office, saved the file, and exported to my Notes, just in case they didn’t exist on Aerth.
A popup covered the screen.
📱 [New Upgrade Available!] 📱
🎉 Enhance Your Experience with the Latest HumanOS Features! 🎉
🌟 Features Include:

• 🧠 Memory Booster: Increase your Memory for smoother multitasking and improved performance.
• 🔋 Energy Optimizer: Extend your battery life with advanced power-saving techniques.
• 🛠️ Utility Upgrades: Access new apps and utilities to enhance your daily life and adventures.
• 🗺️ Advanced Mapping: Never get lost again with enhanced GPS and location tracking.

🔥 Special Offer: Only 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0! 🔥
[Upgrade Now ✅] [Remind Me Later ❌]
Apparently I could upgrade myself, which reduced the cost of using my Utilities while providing other minor benefits. My Utilities would level up as I used them, which would increase their battery cost, so if I didn’t keep pace with an update to the OS they could become prohibitively expensive to operate.
Stupid pay-to-win world.
So, do I pay 2000 credits for version 2.0 or 5000 credits for version 3.0?
I selected version 3.0 and klicked [Install]. After watching it download the update, it popped up another screen that asked if I wanted to update now, or wait until Midnight for the mandatory update.
I selected [No] just as the grandfather clock chimed 10:30 PM. I wondered if time ran slower in here, because it seemed like I had spent a lot more time on the computer than 15 minutes. Walking over to the imposing steel door, I noticed a bronze key with a thin chain in the lock. There was another sticky note on the door. “Subconscious. Please keep the key with you at all times.”
That’s not scary at all, is it?
I unlocked the door with a loud clunk and pulled it open to reveal a bedroom straight out of some royal castle. I could tell immediately that it had seen better days. The tapestries on the wall were frayed and fading. The canopy over the bed had a few holes in it. A thin layer of dust covered the mantle of a small fireplace set into the wall. There was a window letting in bright sunlight and I moved over to look outside.
I was on the third floor of a keep surrounded by the walls and turrets of a modest castle. A castle that had fallen into serious disrepair. Did this represent the state of my inner mind? One tower was shattered and the curtain wall under it damaged. The lower bailey was full of litter. I could see a few soldiers walking around the allure, keeping watch.
I have people in my subconscious?
Someone behind me cleared their throat.
Whirling, I discovered a familiar old man standing in the door of the bedroom. What was left of his hair formed a white halo around his head, his face was unshaven and covered with several days of growth. He was dressed like a poor and tattered manservant, but carried himself with a dignified air.
“Woodhouse?”
“It’s nice to see the master at home,” He said with a proper English accent. “There are many matters that require the master’s attention.”
“Uh, sure,” I said, hanging the key around my neck and tucking it in my shirt. “And who are you again?”
“Your personal manservant, of course” he said with a slight bow. Walking over to the steel door, he pulled it closed and it locked with a solid thunk. “Master should always keep his inner sanctum closed. One never knows if something nasty will creep in.”
“Thank you, uh, Woodhouse. I’ll remember that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “So what needs tending and how do things work around here?”
He smiled and beckoned me with a white gloved hand. “If master would be so kind as to follow me, I’ll introduce him to the staff and explain the duties and obligations of his domain.”
I’m 99.9% certain that everyone here is just me wearing a mask, so I shrugged and followed Woodhouse out of the bedroom and into the rest of my subconscious.
Five minutes later I was on the ground floor and seated on a shabby throne with the cast of a popular —and probably very copyright protected— animation in front of me. Woodhouse was the head butler and my personal manservant. Pam was the cook and demanded that I start importing sugar and alcohol before she was shushed by Woodhouse. Carol was a maid. Krieger was chancellor and Cyril was the steward. Archer and Lana were in charge of security. Ray was the marshal in charge of everything from the stables to the blacksmith.
I stared in disbelief at the motley crew kneeling in front of me. No wonder my inner mind was in such shambles. I was overcome with an irrational sense of anger at myself.
“Arright, listen up,” I barked, my voice echoing around the room. “I swear to God that I will fire every single one of you and hire circus clowns to replace you if you keep fucking things up. No joke. Circus clowns, got it?”
I ran a hand over my face as Ray pissed himself. “The only reason I’m not putting a boot in your asses right now is because I realise that you’re aspects of me, and the people you represent are pretty damn good at their jobs when they give enough of a shit to actually do them. As a team, you’re dysfunctionally fantastic and always seem to come out ahead no matter the odds.”
Heaving a sigh, I continued. “Things have changed and I need to get my shit together. I’m going to need every one of you to pull your weight and help me help you. Get back to your duties, I’ll meet you one on one later.”
My subconscious caretakers scurried out of the room.
“I’ll have one of the maids tend to the piss,” Woodhouse assured me.
“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I honestly had no idea my mind was such a shit show. I’m very disappointed in myself.” I pictured the Angry, Sad, and Disgusted counters on my personal movies clicking up. “Show me what needs to be done and let’s get started.”
During Woodhouse’s walking tour, everything clicked into place. This was some altered version of Bodiam castle, a location that was on my bucket list of places to visit. The royal council room, located behind the throne room, contained a “living” tapestry on the wall that showed the castle and surrounding land in real time. The castle was located in the middle of a small lake, and a single wood bridge led to the mainland. A small town surrounded the lake and a wall encircled the town. Outside the wall, the land was an irregular patchwork of forest and field, with a stinking swamp to the south. The entire “kingdom” was maybe ten miles across, surrounded by impassable mountains with innumerable creeks that fed the lake which drained into the southern swamp.
“Zombies are the problem, sir.” Woodhouse said, as I surveyed the living tapestry of my mental domain.
“Zombies?” I prompted.
“Yes sir, Zombies” Woodhouse continued. “Nasty bitey things that come in from the mountains and harass the peasants. They’ve gotten especially worse over the last few months. The soldiers do what they can, but they seem to have lost all motivation. Probably because they haven’t been paid.”
“And who pays them?”
“Typically chancellor Krieger is in charge of financial matters, although Steward Figgis has taken over the duty, sir.”
“Then let’s make Figgis our first stop.”
“Very good, sir.”
The office of the steward was run by Cyril Figgis, who managed the kingdom in my absence. It was overflowing with paperwork and charts, books and scrolls piled high on every flat surface. Cyril was desperately attempting to tidy things when Woodhouse and I walked in.
“Yo..you..your majesty,” Cyril stuttered, bowing low. Scrolls fell from his overloaded arms, spilling across the floor. He dropped to his knees and scrambled to gather them up. “I didn’t expect you to visit so soon. Please forgive the mess, housekeeping has been slacking…”
This was the guy who ran things while I was conscious.
“Shut up, Cyril” I said. “You’re responsible for everything in this office. That includes keeping it organised and tidy.”
“Y..yes milord.”
“It’s my understanding that you’re in charge of making sure everyone gets paid. So why aren’t we paying people?” I asked.
“We’re nearly out of Fuks, your majesty. I’ve been saving them for emergencies.”
“Fucks?”
“Fuks,” Cyril explained, pushing a pile of books off a large chest and opening it. Reaching inside he pulled out two small bags and emptied them on top of his cluttered desk. “Gold and Silver Fuks, the currency of the kingdom. I can’t maintain the kingdom when I have no Fuks to give.”
Behold the subconscious kingdom of Vincent J. Carter, it runs on Fuks.
“So how do I get more fuks?” I asked, examining one of the coins. It had an image of me on one side and symbol on the other that could be interpreted as “peace among worlds”.
“You kill the zombies, your majesty.”
Of course I do.
Woodhouse and I left Cyril’s office and headed towards the office of the chancellor where Krieger worked. It seemed that Cyril took over financial matters when Krieger became erratic and proposed luring all the zombies into the city and setting it on fire. Not sure how that corresponds to my own self-destructive behaviour, but I’ve had some dark thoughts over the last couple of months and I’m sure they’re reflected here.
Krieger’s office was much neater in comparison to Cyril’s, but it wasn’t by much. Shelves lined the walls and were filled with an array of questionable items, including a still snapping zombie head in a jar. While the office of the chancellor was supposed to be in charge of financial matters, it looked more like a dodgy rummage sale.
Krieger was launching sword blades at a pig carcass when we walked in.
“What exactly are you doing?” I asked, standing in the doorway.
“Hm? Oh, your majesty!” he said, turning around and bowing deeply. “I’m testing a new invention. It’s a spring loaded hilt that shoots sword blades. Very useful for our soldiers.”
“Stupidest idea ever,” I snapped. “I hate everything about it.”
“Okay,” Krieger said, tossing the hilt into a nearby pile of junk. “But don’t blame me when you need to shoot a sword at a zombie and don’t have one.”
“So why aren’t you managing the financial affairs? Collecting taxes, paying people, stuff like that?”
“Because the population has declined so much none of that matters?”
“What do you mean?”
“Wellll, the population represents things you care about,” Krieger said, going into lecture mode. “And the zombies and other monsters are real or imagined problems in your way. Since you don’t care about too many things the population has shrunk to just what’s needed to keep everything running on the bare minimum of fuks. And since you don’t seem to have any long or short term goals, there’s no need to kill off the zombies and get more fuks. Everything is fine just the way it is.”
“No, it’s not Krieger” I said, grinding my teeth. “My mind is in a shambles. It’s a joke. I want it fixed. No, I want it better than fixed. I want it improved.”
“Oh! I’ve got just the thing for that!” He said, digging around in his pockets, “It’s a spring-loaded hilt that shoots swords!”
Pam and Cheryl were hanging out a gallery window jeering at Archer and Lana sparring in the inner courtyard.
“What the hell are you doing!” I snapped
They whirled in surprise and then dropped into deep curtseys.
“Your majesty!”
I took a deep breath, trying to regain my centre. “Get to work cleaning this place up. Find a room, clean it, and move on to the next. Start with my bedroom, then the throne room and the council chamber, then everything else.”
Cheryl spoke up. “Can’t do it. We got no fuks to clean with.”
“You need fuks to clean?”
“Gotta buy stuff,” Pam said. “Cleaning supplies, food. You wanna eat, you’re gonna have to spend some fuks.”
“Talk to Cyril,” I ordered. “Tell him I said to get you supplied.”
They ran off in the direction of the stewards office.
I watched Archer and Lana bashing each other enthusiastically through the window.
Several minutes later the sparring couple stopped and bowed when Woodhouse and I stepped into the inner courtyard.
“Your majesty”
“My liege”
“Enough,” I said. “If you have enough energy to smash each other, you have enough energy to smash zombies. Tell me what I need to know so I can start gathering fuks.”
Archer shrugged and spoke first. “You just kill the zombies and other monsters. They drop fuks.”
“Anything special about the zombies?” I asked. “Are they fast? Do people get turned into zombies when bitten?”
“Nope,” Lana said, resting her wooden sword on her shoulder. “Most of them are slow shamblers and just need a good wack to the head to kill them.”
“Some are special,” Archer interjected. “Occasionally you’ll have some fast ones, or those that need holy water to kill. They’re just bad memories, figments of your personality that need to be eliminated. Some are worse than others.”
“The zombies are bad memories?” I asked, imagining all the bad memories that I had.
“Memories, thoughts, insecurities, metaphysical mumbo-jumbo,” Woodhouse supplied. “They are endless, but constant vigilance can keep them under control.”
“So let’s get started,” I said. “Lead the way.”
Lana and Archer lead me up to the parapet over the front gate where I looked over at the dozens of zombies milling about aimlessly in front of the entrance to my mind. Pulling out my gun, I began to pick them off, easy as shooting fish in a barrel. The crack of my spell pistol attracted more zombies and I dispatched them with ease until no more were left around the gate. As I fired each shot I could feel some sort of existential energy flowing from me, draining some hidden reserve.
“Gather up the Fuks,” I commanded. “And Lana?”
“Mi’lord?”
“There’s no excuse for this. From now on, I expect the walls to be clear of all zombies.”
“Yes mi’lord,” she said, giving me a small bow.
Turning to Archer, I shook my head. “You’re obviously my personal narcissism, so just try to stay out of Lana’s way, or better yet - try to kill more zombies than her. If you think you can.”
Archer scoffed. “No contest. I took top marks in sharpshooting.”
“That means I should expect to see results by tomorrow. I look forward to it.”
Archer looked panicked for a moment then smiled. “Sure, I can give you results.”
Turning back to Woodhouse I said “Show me what else need attending.”
Woodhouse led me through the town that represented my mind, pointing out each business that had fallen into disrepair, suggested others that needed improvements, and additions that would benefit me. In the distance, I could hear Lana and Archer shooting at the crowd of zombies and with each echoing shot I felt a tiny bit better about everything.
[INDEX]

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3. Content Type: Different types of content (posts, stories, reels) can attract varying levels of engagement and earnings.

How to Use the Facebook Influencer Calculator

Our Facebook Influencer Calculator helps influencers estimate their potential earnings based on their engagement rates, follower demographics, and content type. Here’s how to use it:
1. Select Content Type: Choose whether the content is a Post, Reel, Story, or Live, or select a package for all types.
2. Input Earnings Per Views: Enter the amount you typically charge per 1000 views.
3. Enter Follower Count: Input the total number of followers on your Facebook account.
4. Provide Recent Views: Fill in the view counts for your last four posts.
5. Engagement Rate: Input your engagement rate as a percentage.
6. Calculate: Click on the 'Calculate' button to generate the estimated price.
7. Estimated Price: Review the calculated estimated price displayed on the side.

Example Calculation

Let’s say you typically charge $10 per 1000 views, have 50,000 followers, and your last four posts garnered 10,000, 15,000, 20,000, and 25,000 views, respectively. With an engagement rate of 5%, the calculator would provide an estimated price based on these inputs, giving you a clear idea of your potential earnings.

Enhancing Your Facebook Strategy

Creating High-Quality Content

Quality content is the cornerstone of successful influencer marketing. Ensure your posts are visually appealing, informative, and engaging. High-quality content attracts more interactions, boosting your engagement rate and potential earnings.

Leveraging Analytics

Utilize Facebook Insights to track your performance. Analyzing metrics such as reach, engagement, and audience demographics can help you tailor your content strategy for better results.

Engaging with Your Audience

Building a strong connection with your audience is essential. Respond to comments, ask questions, and create interactive posts to foster a sense of community. The more engaged your audience, the higher your engagement rate will be.

Collaborating with Brands

Partnering with brands can significantly increase your earnings. When pitching to brands, highlight your engagement rate and audience demographics to showcase your value as an influencer.

Consistency is Key

Maintain a consistent posting schedule. Regularly updating your content keeps your audience engaged and helps maintain a steady growth in followers and interactions.

Utilizing Facebook Features

Take advantage of Facebook's features like Stories, Reels, and Live sessions. These formats often receive higher engagement rates, providing more opportunities for monetization.

Staying Updated with Trends

Keep abreast of the latest trends and updates on Facebook. Adapting to new features and trends can give you an edge over other influencers.

Actionable Tips to Boost Engagement

1. Post at Optimal Times: Analyze when your audience is most active and schedule your posts accordingly.
   
2. Use Eye-Catching Visuals: High-quality images and videos attract more attention.
   
3. Craft Compelling Captions: Engaging captions can encourage more interactions.
   
4. Incorporate Hashtags: Use relevant hashtags to increase the discoverability of your posts.
   
5. Run Contests and Giveaways: These can drive significant engagement and attract new followers.
   
6. Collaborate with Other Influencers: Partnering with influencers can expand your reach and boost engagement.
   
7. Ask for Feedback: Encourage your audience to share their thoughts and opinions, fostering a more engaged community.
   

Conclusion

In the ever-evolving world of social media, staying ahead requires *a strategic approach and the right tools*. Facebook remains a pivotal platform for influencers looking to engage with their audience and monetize their efforts. By utilizing our Facebook Influencer Calculator and Engagement Rate Calculator, you can gain valuable insights into your performance and potential earnings. Remember, success on Facebook is not just about the number of followers but the quality of engagement. Create high-quality content, interact with your audience, and leverage analytics to refine your strategy. Use our calculators to make informed decisions and take your Facebook presence to the next level. Start optimizing today and watch your influence and earnings grow!

My sister 22f has been with this guy 28m for almost 3 years. He actually was a friend of mine, a good one also. Me, my mum and my girlfriend have starting to notice red flags in him since their 2nd year together. He normally doesn't take no for an answer, and will manipulate, insist a lot or throwing a tantrum until he gets it his way either way. So few weeks ago me, my girlfriend, my sister and her boyfriend took a trip together, where he would stay only 2 days, returning alone. The four of us go out clubbing and after I would drive for 1 hour. I get my sister to ride shotgun and my girlfriend is in the backseats with him.
When we arrive my girlfriend told me he has touched her inappropriately, tried to kiss her and bring her hand towards his crotch.
Keep in mind that my sister and my girlfriend are close friends. We thought that obviously my sister would leave him on the spot, but after returning home says she will stay with him regardless. I told her that there will never be any holiday or time spent together since me and also my girlfriend will never want to interact with him again. There's actually no scenario possible in witch I would want to ever see his face again.
Turns out she's pregnant, and also they kinda already knew when he did what he did. If she wants to keep the child, sooner or later they will surely break up, and I am afraid that my sister will endure all his abusive behaviors more and more for the sake of the child. My sister still needs to finish school, she had taken a break and worked in the meantime for a little salary. He recently lost another job which was a 5 minutes walk from his home due to him being irresponsible, showing up late or not showing up at all and being generally someone who doesn't keep their word, and also lies pretty easily. They are living at his parents home all this time.
Then there's the thing that if she keeps the baby every interaction between my family and my sister and the baby will be pretty unpleasant since no one is going to pretend they like him.
We are all pretty shocked right now, me my mother and my girlfriend, since we think that my sister needs to get away from him asap, and a baby would keep her close to him, which is not a healthy relationship at all.
Obviously we can't impose anything over the choice my sister makes, but we're worried a lot because we want her out of this toxic relationship, for her own good. I think she is not able to think clearly right now, but it is for her own good to get out of this relationship before it's too late.
Never imagined being in a situation like this, there actually was zero possibility in our mind for him to do something like this.
I just want your opinion on the situation, I think probably either way we won't have any impact on my sister's decision.

Here are the texts she sent:
No I'm saying you don't realize how much heartache and disappointment you're headed towards bc you're chasing a false narrative what of whatever you've been watching or fed online. Sorry I love you both, but yall are focusing on something that is going to screw up your success at UT. I cannot go into deep debt, debt I will never get out of if yall aren't successful and can be employable.
You dont see that ahead because again yohre young and have no life exoerience. You just don't understand. But I'll be here to dry your tears when you turn your Iives upside down and screw up your bodies, cause your own mental anguish x10 because you focused on something thats going to take your life in different trajectory and the point of going to UT was to be success in your education. Bc if you're just going there to be a transvestite, you will fail, you will not get recommendations from your professors who are the keyholders to your success. You won't even be able to graduate without your internships. So i don't think you're thinking about how miserable you're about to make yourself and me and dad due to the incredible debt we are signing up for in hopes of YOUR success bc we don't have the money to pay that.
OK maybe we need to hold off on UT until yall figure out what yall want to do. That's not going to workout and we can't be worrying about the debt bc you twohave not done your part signing up for scholarships. YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN A FULL RIDE IF YOU HAD MANNED UP AND COME OUT AS GAY. But yall haven't done anything, you won't read anything, you won't even look at UTs website to see all the things you need to know about being at school there. You won't look at housing. You won't do any of that. So I'm starting to think you really aren't interested in UT as much as you thought you were or said you were.
Dms open if you'd rather help there. Thx ❤️

TLDR: Nannying is a very hard job. There would probably be a lot more nannies who work as hard as one needs to do this job well if the pay matched the value and difficulty of the work.
I’ve been pretty active in this sub lately because I’ve been feeling unhappy at my job and it helps to have a community. I wrote this a while ago and have been nervous to post it but I think it’s important. I saw a post in nannyemployers asking where all of the “good” nannies have gone and this was the response I was writing until I realised the replies were to be from NP only.. I would post in the nanny employers sub if I weren’t terrified of the response. I know I’m singing to the choir here and I know saying it out loud doesn’t change much. But I am so, so angry, so imma just send it.
As a nanny who has two college degrees, practices Montessori, Reggio Emilia, and RIE, and as someone who has always loved and wanted to work with kids, there simply is not enough money in this career path to stick to it. I personally simply cannot rationalise doing the amount of physical and emotional work that is required for me to do this job as well as I want to for the typical pay, even though I absolutely love it.
For my background, experience, and approach, I am in a severely underpaid position (even when disregarding my qualifications it would still be severely underpaid.) Because of my personal and financial situation at the time of my job search, I did not have the luxury to wait for a unicorn family to offer me the salary I was looking for. I found a family that was a good fit and accepted the position even though I felt it was very much underpaid. I am now in a position where I am continuously battling wanting to work as hard as I can for these kids and this family, and realising I can’t break my back for them while being this underpaid (I mean I literally threw my back out during this job). I’m not someone who breaks a commitment easily but I guess I could move from family to family, waiting to find one who is able to financially respect the value of this work, or I could stick it out and get $2/hr raises every year, but I can’t wait 10 years to finally get close to being paid what I know a proper nanny is worth. Yes there certainly are some nanny employers who properly respect this work and are able to financially meet it’s value, but in my experience they are few and far between. I have found that the overwhelming majority of nannies are severely underpaid and overworked.
Nannies are asked to have flexible schedules, work long hours, take on a laundry list of responsibilities, develop personal emotional relationships with children that aren’t theirs while keeping a professional distance, pay for and organise their own continued training, be emotionally and socially engaged with children all day long, and more. But above all, the most important aspect of nannying is managing our stress is such a way that allows us to stay in an executive state of functioning all day every single day. People deeply underestimate and undervalue the amount of hard and constant work it takes to keep oneself in an executive state of functioning day in and day out, especially in a high stress position where you are helping other people regulate their bodies all day on top of yours, AND are constantly sick and tired and being pushed and tested. I think that this ability is what makes the difference in a “good” nanny and is often the most overlooked, misunderstood, and undervalued aspect of the job responsibilities.
I want to be a good nanny, it’s my dream job to be the best nanny there is, and I used to think that I could accept being in an undervalued role because “it takes a village” and I wanted to do my part and this was my passion. But it doesn’t feel good to be undervalued financially and socially, in fact it feels really really bad, and this is why I will no longer be pursuing a career as a nanny. Even if I found my unicorn position, it wouldn’t change the fact that the overwhelming majority of my nanny peers are still underpaid and undervalued, and that doesn’t feel good. It makes me want to leave, and I think all of the other underpaid nannies should leave too. (We need a union or something, is this a thing?)
The market is oversaturated and undervalued. Not everyone needs a nanny now that quarantine is over (a full-time nanny, not babysitter or after school care). I have both worked at a preschool and as a nanny and I have found that a setting with multiple children of similar age is far better developmentally for a child than spending most of their time with a single adult and a sibling or two, even for young babies. I think a healthy mix of a daycare setting and family time at home is probably best but can be the most difficult to achieve with the current work culture. This is no one’s fault, the overworking culture is a burden of late stage capitalism that we all face. However, it is the burden of the parents to solve their work/life balance. This is a very big part of what one signs up for when becoming a parent. It is not the burden of the nanny to work more for less or the children to miss being with their parents (I’d say two doctor NP are pretty much the only ones who’d get a pass here).
It’s no one person’s fault that nannies are financially undervalued, the value of personal childcare and domestic work has a long saturated history fraught with misogyny and racism. Have you compared the average wage of a plumber (male dominated domestic work) to that of a nanny (female dominated domestic work)? And don’t tell me plumbing requires more training or is harder than nannying, I assure you they are of comparable difficulty especially considering there’s no step by step instructions on YouTube for nannying. (And if you do consider plumbing to be that much hard than nannying, what do you think gives you that perception? I mean as a parent, one should know that nannying absolutely is not just playing with kids all day, even if that’s all you ask your nanny to do. What subconscious bias could be giving you the perception that bringing up children is less difficult and of less value than screwing pipes together? Have you taken a race or gender studies class? Have you seen The Help? Don’t answer, just think.)
Plumbers make average $28/hr in the states, mechanics $26, for nannies it’s $20 (and that’s being generous). That’s a ¢70 on the dollar comparison. It is time we all realise that nannying is an underpaid and undervalued role and work to change that. If the wage being offered across the board better matched the value of the work, I think one would find a lot more serious nannies and a lot more current nannies taking the job more seriously.
I didn’t get it at first, why so many nannies at the park seemed so burnt out and disinterested in the kids. Oh boy do I get it now. I want nothing more than to do my best in this role, but in the past few months after nearly being stiffed by NP, not receiving a bonus from them when I really thought I would, and overall realising I am being taken advantage of and am a human mine to them, I have realised that I can no longer put my all into this job for my own health and sanity. Being properly compensated is the primary motivating aspect of all work especially in the society we are a part of. After loosing my sense of respect from NP, I’ve lost most of the non-financial motivation I started out with and am left with what little motivation my petite pay check gives me, and the kids can tell.
Since my fallout with NP, I have pulled back emotionally from the kids. I’m not mean and I am still doing every responsibility in my contract to the letter (and then some still), but I am no longer as emotionally available to them as I was. I am shorter and more curt with them, I don’t take as much time with them to sit and talk about every feeling they have, and I’m not working as hard to help them break the bad habits NP give them that NP specifically ask me to break (one example - NP want NK to walk everywhere with me but then always use the stroller with NP and every time we go out it’s a fight to use the stroller or not. Guess who’s been using the stroller far more often lately). Anyway, the past week my NK 3f has been quietly crying before her nap and I’m sure it’s because she’s felt me pull away from her. It’s breaking my heart and I’ve been trying to give her extra cuddles, but I have to protect myself first now. This is a job and these aren’t my kids and I can no longer rationalise putting them first emotionally especially considering I am burnt TF out, torn down, and left feeling used up and tossed aside without any recognition or proper thanks from NP.
I don’t know what the perfect number is, the number I would say many NP would probably think is too high, and maybe they’re not looking for a nanny who works as hard as I and others do. But I can tell you that $17/hr before taxes in a VHCOL area does not even come close to close. I think we can all easily recognise that the financial value of this job needs to better match the value of the work, in general and across the board. We’re talking about the people caring for and raising the future generations here, I mean how is this not the most coveted role in our society?
This is my Roman Empire and I will die on this hill every. single. time.

Hi I just came across a novel, chosen by the moon novel by izabella W. Its on pay by chapter websites, I've opened and read a few chapters but I can't seem to find any free version or chapter version anywhere. Please help. If anyone has read it I'm willing to take spoilers. Here's the advert I found below of it on Facebook.
Lycanthrope species is a disgusting race. And I, Delan Riley, am nothing more than a human scum in their eyes never expected those species would turn my world upside down. Since when the lycans managed to penetrate our town, like in the early 1900's we have a hierarchy, upper class = the lycans, middle class = mated humans, and lower class = the normal humans, who were basically considered scum. I endured their torment day after day, vowing to run away from them one day, until that day came and everything changed.
Dylan POV "Humans," I scowled at the principal's words from tannoy. "The Alpha twins will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow, as such, festivities are in order." Oh great, the Alphas twin children. Adrian and Arya are the worst lycans alive. I swear just because they are the alphas kids they literally get away with everything. If their birthday is tomorrow, then the wolves are going to be worse than ever. "All students will be present to greet them, two lines will be made, with humans on the left and the lycanthrope on the right. Any mated human will be at the front of the line for their year, you will all also be in order of your school year. That is all." Chat broke out the minute the tannoy was finished. "We haven't had a school gathering since the alpha king visited three years ago, before his sons coronation." Nick was right, the last time we all gathered like that was for the king and queens visit, when he decided to let the world know that he was to renounce his title to his only child, son Josh. "That sick bestard, he wants to make sure everyone is there so those idiot twins can find their mates." Yes I was mad, my fists connected with the table in front of me once more as I thought about how disgusting the situation was. You see the twins will be turning 17, so it's very possible someone in our school could be their mate, finding a mate is sacred to a wolf, the minute they say that one word your fate is sealed. They will turn your mind, morph you into being a lover of their kind, and then you'll give in.

That won't happen to me, I'm growing old to see the world as it once was, and I'm going to choose who I'll be with. No one will take that dream away from me.

Once dinner was finished, I just wanted to sleep. I'd had a very long tiring day, I quickly sat down on a small stool my mother kept in the storage closet and removed my shirt while my brother Freddy sat at the table to do his simple homework. It wasn't long before my mother came in with a large bowl of warm salt water and some cotton, this was going to sting I just knew it. She was here to help me with the wounds caused by wolves yesterday. She slowly began to unwrap the bandage from around my torso and slowed down drastically when it came to the final layer, I felt it peel off every wound and my fists clenched in pain. "Jesus!" I heard my mom exclaim once the dressing was completely removed. The air on my back was nice though and I sighed as my arm covered my once again exposed brests. "This is more than 15!" I began to hear sniffles coming from her and sighed turning round to look at her face, only to notice tears streaming down it. "Mom I'm fine, it's alright." She shook her head. "It's not alright, I'm your mother I shouldn't let these things happen. I'm so sorry. Your father would have..." here she goes again. Every single time something happened she'd always bring up dad, it really annoyed me because no matter how much we all wish he was here, he just isn't. My father was kiled by THEIR kind, almost 5 years ago when they actually managed to take over. When the lycans managed to penetrate our town my father rose up with some people from the neighborhood, to defend our livelihood, it was futile to say the least. We lost many people and I watched as my dad was ripped apart by two fully shifted wolves, I ended up shoting him to stop his suffering before they dragged me to the courtyard, i was the person to receive the first lashing of the town when I was 12! The wolves have been pretty strict with me since that day. "Stop being stvpid!" Was I harsh? Definitely! Did she need to hear it again, absolutely. "Dad is dead, we don't know what he'd do because he never knew this life. He never knew this world." I know what he'd have done, most likely attacked the guy who held the whip and got himself kiled in the process. "The best thing you can do for me, is stop crying and help me, next time don't insist on helping if you can't handle it." She began to wash my open wounds with the warm salt water causing loud winces to leave me, I knew it was necessary to prevent infection, but my god it hurt like a betch. "Some of these are really deep Dylan!" She sniffed again and my eyes rolled in my head. "I told you, I'm fine, just wrap me back up so I can get to bed." My mom was obviously more impacted by my injuries than I was, I suppose that always the case though. When it's happening to you, you've just got to get through it but when it's happening to someone you love, you just want to take their pain away. She quickly placed a fresh bandage around my waist and chest and wrapped it tightly for compression. The bowl of water that was used was now red in color, I guess from the blood my back was dripping with. "Can you keep your head down please? At least just this week. You can't take any more lashings." I simply nodded before standing up away from the stool, I walked over to Freddie and ruffled his hair in affection. "Good night squirt." He giggled and fixed his hair slightly. "Night Dilly." I smiled walking upstairs to my little bedroom, as soon as I was inside i shut the door and flopped down on to my bed on my stomach and I took a minute to cry to myself at the pain in my back, what my mom did was important but it hurt, not that I'd ever tell her. My hand covered my mouth quickly to muffle any noise I might be making. I couldn't tell anyone, I had to be strong because more and more people were crumpling these days, and my mom would break if she knew how much I was suffering. Sleep followed me shortly after, she was right though about me needing to keep my head down for the time being, I could not take another lashing! After a long night and an even longer morning, we were all finally stood in the hallway at school waiting for the twins to arrive. "Mine!" Everyone that was stood in the hallway tensed up, as we were seniors, me and Nick were stood towards the very back of the human line. All the mated people were situated directly opposite their wolf mates in their years. We stayed silent and still as Arya walked down the hall and stopped directly in front of Nick. His eyes widened in fear, unsure of wether to look up or keep his head lowered. "Look me in the eye, mate." He glanced at me slightly as if asking what he should do. "I said, look me in the eye." He slowly moved his eye line up to look at her face. I took a glance myself to see her eyes pitch black with lust. "I... can't... I mean... erm." Before he was able to mutter anything else, two wolves from opposite, grabbed him out of the line and dragged him behind Arya. "Hey!" My head shot up before I could stop myself. My mouth also forgot its place as I jumped out of line. Everyone's head shot to me as my eyes widened in realization at what I'd done. Adrian, the other twin, walked up to me before punching me right in the stomach, I doubled over instantly. Feeling the sting in my slightly healed back. "I know you... You were publicly flogged only two days ago." God I hate this guy. "I also have it on good authority, that you openly spoke out against our rules and regulations in yesterday's class." My head shot down the line slightly to see Erin, looking a little frightened, her mate, the beta to be was looking at her, nodding his head in reassurance. "You traitor, you grassed on your own kind?" I yelled at her before feeling a fist connect with my cheek. My head whipped to the side from the force, while my class members gasped. I'm so done with this treatment, right then, I wasn't in charge of my actions. My fists curled up and my stance became a lot more defensive. My head snapped up to the alpha to be, and I looked him in the eye. "You don't know the meaning of the word disrespect." I suddenly hurled my fist towards his head, which he easily dodged, but my foot came up and kicked him instead. He stumbled backwards from the force with wide eyes. "You... you Actually hit me!" He didn't even sound annoyed, more shocked. Everyone in the hallway was watching, waiting for the alpha to do something but instead he simply stood up straight, regaining his composure. "I think everyone should get back to class." He began to walk away, following his sister when I called him back. "What about Nick?!" "Simple, He's my sisters mate. He now belongs to her." Argh, he's not an object. "He's not her property." A chuckle left his mouth, before turning his back to me again. "All humans are property." A short while later everyone made it to science class, our teacher Mrs Mathews is mated to the lycans pack doctor, she also now has a four and two year old with him. She was one of the first humans to be cohered into a false relationship. "What were you thinking young lady?" I rolled my head at her before looking at the empty seat next to mine. Nick was with that stvpid wolf girl right now. Being changed, I'm so angry it's ridiculous. "I was thinking, this guy is being a prick. Did you hear him? 'All humans are property.' It's bull shet." I looked up and the whole class looked at me like I had three heads. Talking shet about wolves is one thing, but talking about an alpha is punishable by death, attacking an alpha is an even worse offense. There was then a knock at the door and in walked Erin and her band of mated bestards. "Sorry we're late Mrs." "Erin, how are things between you and bata Monroe?" She blushed, the traitor actually blushed at the mention of his name. "He spoke to me last night about trying for a baby. We need a good strong boy to take over as beta." I scoffed looking at her as she took her seat. "You guys are actually pathetic, why can't it be a girl? Those mutts are basically Neanderthals" I voiced my opinion and saw all the shocked faces around me. Calling the lycans mutts, is the same as them calling us scum. After lesson had ended the entire school was called into the hall for assembly. This is where any human who has been found to have broken the rules were punished, usually 10 lashings were goven out or something similar. "Welcome to the school assembly, congratulations to the alpha twins for finding both your mates. Now on to the business at hand, as the 5 year anniversary of the new world is coming up, we have been informed that the alpha king will be visiting our district next week, this is very exciting news. We want you all to look your absolute best, she wolves and mated females will wear exemplary dresses made by seamstress. Male wolves and mated men will wear tailored suits. Anyone who doesn't comply will be reprimanded." The Alpha King?! No one has met him yet, he took over the throne three years ago when he turned 18. He really didn't make any appearances though, great, this month is going to be a nightmare. "As for the humans, you will be given a new uniform to wear for the visit, these are to be neatly ironed and worn to the highest standard. As for the following humans, based on your attitude this past week, you will be coming to the front and facing punishment. Tony summerset?!" Tony's head shot up as he looked around, he was in the year below but he shared my views when it came to the lycans. He slowly walked up to the front of assembly, almost instantly his top was t0rn in two and he received 10 lashings. A girl named Kara was next and she too received 10 lashings. A few more people went up slowly accepting their fate then suddenly my name was called. "Dylan Riley." Inside I was terrified but I simply shrugged my shoulders, I guess I did kind of expect this. Although I'm not sure if my back can take any more damage. "You attacked an alpha, correct!" His eyes bored into mine as I bowed my head submitting to his authority. "Technically, no." Everyone in the school gym looked on in fear, as my head moved to the front row of the wolf side. Adrian sat, with a werewolf girl in the year below, her name was Jana, I guess he found his mate. Nick and Arya were no where to be seen though. Adrian gave me a shrug as if to say he didn't tell, before smirking at my comment. "He hasn't officially taken the alpha title yet, so he's just..." i looked at the principle and noticed his eyes black and his claws out, he was in what lycans call a half shift, triggered when the subject has become angered. He turned to two security wolves and gave them a nod, Almost immediately i was forced onto my knees, my arm was slammed on a table and held in place by one wolf, while my body was held in place by the other. "Ok, I don't think this is needed, I have alpha blood, a stvpid human girl can't hurt me." My head snapped to Adrian who had stood up in front of the school to stop what was happening. "Nevertheless, humans need to know their place." With that the pressure on my arm increased as our principals hand pulled my sleeve up before a long claw punctured my skin. The searing pain shoting from the fresh wound had my eyes scrunched and my fist clenched, I bit the inside of my cheek hard instantly tasting blood, however no sound left my mouth. He continued to write, using my skin as a canvas and his claws as a marker, it went on forever, my vision blurred slightly at one point as I turned my head away. After minutes of torture, he was done and the pressure on my arm eased, instantly I snatched my arm away, hissing through my teeth at the pain. I was about to scurry off stage, when I was roughly grabbed yet again, my arm being held in the air by the principal while my feet were inches off the floor, blood dripped from the wound and the pattern he had made was on show for everyone to see. Loads of people gasped, even the wolves looked slightly horrified at what had happened. "This is what happens when a human decides to speak out. I can promise, anyone who so much as says one word about our way of life, will have the same punishment." My arm was starting to seriously ache from being held in the air for so long, and the lack of blood flow to my suspended arm was causing me pins and needles, still I refused to make a sound. I held the tears back and I bit my cheek harder causing more blood to fill my mouth. "That's enough Bradley!" Adrian growled, he was still stood up and looking at the scene in front of him. His eyes hard as he stared at the principal a low warning growl erupted from his chest which had the head teacher gulping, he quickly let go of my arm causing me to crash to the floor. A small cry left my mouth as I hit the hard floor. Immediately I scrambled away, my foot just missed the high step leading to the stage and I fell, waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. Two strong arms wrapped around me catching my weak body causing me to look up, my eyes widened as I noticed Adrian had caught my falling form. "This isn't part of the human punishment program!" Adrian growled causing me to tense in his grip, I pushed him away from me before fixing my uniform top. The room was deadly silent, taking in the scene in front of them, while I stole a glance at my forearm. Carved into my skin by his devastating claws were two words, words that would most definitely scar my body for life. 'Human scum' "Lessons must be learned, she received lashing merely two days ago, and clearly it had no effect on her." Another growl left Adrian's chest as he stepped on to the stage, I wasn't bothered though, you would think I'd be ashamed but I simply smiled slightly. I fixed my sleeve a little so it wouldn't rub on the fresh wound before speaking. "It doesn't matter," the whole room looked at me shocked by my attitude. "I would rather be labeled human scum, than have any resemblance to your kind. I'm proud of what I am, how many of you can say that?" After my amazing little speech, I walked right down the middle between the humans and lycans and out the door. No more compliance, I'm going to get away with as much as I can without getting into too much bother. There will come a day when the lycans power will fizzle out. When it does I'll be ready, I'll be waiting for the day we take our world back. As for the best part about my plan...

No one can stop me.

"Ouch, not so hard." I seethed as the school nurse cleaned my new wound with antiseptic. "If you had of just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't have happened." I turned to my right looking out the window at the few clouds that were floating in the blue sky. "Like I said, I'm proud to be human, and now everyone knows what I am." I clenched my fist together as the nurse began wrapping a bandage around my forearm. It had been a good few hours since the incident in the hall, and I had been forced to come to the nurces office after I had tried to clean my wound by splashing it with water from the tap, it also refused to stop bleeding. "You are impossible. Can you please just try and stay out of trouble? For one day, that's all I ask." Our school nurse is a wolf, she's one of them. However she hates the way they treat us mere humans, she thinks we should all just live in peace with equal rights. Like that would ever happen. "All I've done is stay out of trouble, but you are just going to humiliate me anyway, so what's the actual point?" "The pack were discussing a public execution, Dylan. You need to walk on egg shells from now on, not just for you but for your family as well." No ones been publicly executed in over 4 months, I'm flattered they're considering it. They only execute people who they believe are the biggest problems to society. "Well then... I'm flattered." I chuckled, before looking at the patch job. 'Huh, not too shabby.' I quickly stood up from the human nursing station and pulled the sleeve of my shirt down covering the evidence of ever being hurt. "This is serious!" I just gave her a blank look before leaving the room. On the way out I heard her call back to me. "Please just think about it." I gave a clipped nod as I walked away wondering how I'm going to tell my mom about this. Later in the evening... "Dilly why you say that?" Freddie looked up at me with a mouth full of bread. "Don't speak with your mouthful!" My mom scolded him as a bashful blush made its way to his cheeks. "Sowwy mommy." His reply was muffled as he swallowed the last chunk of food. "I said it Freddie, because it's the truth. The wolf race are a pathetic excuse for..." my mom cut me off with an extremely stern look. "Dylan! They have ears everywhere, one more word out of you and it's your room." I scowled, my hatred for the Lycan kind growing stronger as each day passes. "What more can they do to me, lash me? Beat me? Brand me? They've ran out of options." I stated slamming my hands down, then severely regretting it as sharp pain shot though my wound. "What was that?" My head shot to regard my mothers worried expression. Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were dull and judging as she looked at me. "Nothing, it was nothing." I quickly took my plate in my hand and began to walk to the kitchen. "I'm not really hungry, and I have homework to do!" My mom caught hold of my forearm causing me to drop my plate suddenly, I watched it slowly fall before shattering on the floor. I retracted my arm quickly and turned to Freddie. "Stay there and don't move until it's cleaned up ok sport?" He just nodded with wide eyes, I turned back to my mom and noticed her curious stare on my arm. Her grip shifted to the other side as she turned it around before pulling my sleeve up. The bandage was showing and a bit of blood was seeping though after the wound had been disturbed. "What the hel happened?" My moms eyes widened as she began to fumble with the bandage. Before she could unravel any of it I snatched my arm away. "I had an accident at school. No big." I began to gather the large pieces of the broken plate up ready to put them in the bin. "What did you do Dylan?" She looked at me with pure worry and only then did I realize what the wound must look like to someone who didn't know. "For gods sake! I didn't do it to myself! I got publicly punished at the assembly alright? It's no big deal." Her face dropped instantly and she stepped towards me, causing me to step backwards. "Mom, I'm ok. So back off will you." "What did you do? I've never known them to cut someone's arm as a punishment." Her shock and accusation was evident in her voice and I sighed heavily. "I spoke against the alphas son." I may have hit him too, but I wasn't going to divulge that part to her. "It's not one big cut, mom, it's a brand, 'human scum' carved onto my arm." "They've branded you now too?!" My eyes rolled at her hurt tone as I went to get the dustpan and brush. "You're so much like your father." A sigh left her mouth as she spoke, running a hand through her hair, while I quickly swept up the little pieces of the broken plate. "You've had a new uniform delivered. It's laid out on your bed. Dylan, Please just try and stay respectful in the future, I don't want my daughter to be completely mutilated. Although you're not far off." "Gee, Thanks." I then walked over to my little brother Freddy before blowing a kiss into his neck and hearing him giggle. "So sport, how's school going?" "It's ok." He shrugged before going back to coloring a dinosaur picture in. "Well that's good, stay out of trouble, ok little man?" Heading upstairs and into my room, my thoughts wandered to the permanent graffiti scar very slowly healing on my arm. Disgusting beasts. Think they own the world because they're faster, stronger and can shift. Pah. If you ask me they are not all that.

The second I walked into my room my mouth dropped open. On my bed was some grey pants laid out neatly, which wasn't the surprising part, no, what shocked me was the grey high neck no sleeved button down shirt, every single set of uniform had sleeves except this one. They've done this on purpose those, mutts. They want the world to see my arm and know what a disgusting creature I am. They want the world to know that I, Dylan Riley, am nothing more than 'human scum'.

During the last week, I've been horrible, in class I've been loud in voicing my views, I've insulted at least everyone to some degree, I didn't care about the consequences, and I certainly didn't think about them. I haven't seen Nick at all since he was claimed, and to make matters worse today was the royal visit. Oh yes, werewolves and mated humans alike were spending every waking minute preparing themselves to meet his royal majesty, king of the wolves. Unclaimed Humans however would rather stick pins in their eyes. "Dylan, get down now... you're going to be late." She was right, I was dawdling this morning, I really couldn't be bothered today, I gave myself one last look in the small mirror and sighed when my eyes met my newly uncovered brand. It had bad bruising around the letters, and was still extremely tender to touch, it was definitely healing now though. I made my way down the stairs and came face to face with my mother who was seeing to Freddie, she was helping my brother get his coat on when she turned to me. "You ready sport?" Freddie nodded his little head at me and smiled while I quickly slid my shoes on. "Just Remember, the alpha is bad enough, Dylan, please, please don't do anything to anger the king." My mother stopped us from walking out the door to tell me something she had been telling me continuously for the last couple of days, it was almost as if the entire human population of our district was expecting me to do something stvpid. "Try and have a good day." I rolled my eyes but nodded, even I know not to push the king, he could kil me in the hallway like it was nothing. In fact I plan on staying out of his way for the entirety of the day. "We will see you tonight mom." I stated before me and my brother began our walk to school, his little hand clutched my own tightly as we went. Usually Nick would be with us, as he lives next door, well he used to, now he's residing in the main pack house. I quickly dropped Freddie off at his school and watched him get the wolfsbane neutralizer before walking into him building giving me a small wave before he went in. With my new scar on complete show, and my figure being complimented by the skin tight shirt I was wearing, I sauntered down the street to school, I gave my name and year in and took the wolf's bane neutralizer injection with no problems at all. It was finally getting into school that the problem occurred. Walking through the halls I was met by many looks, some of pity some of disgust. You see every single non mated human in the school was wearing a long sleeved version of the uniform I was given. All the Wolves and mated couples were scattered around in fancy floor length dresses or tailored suits. As I turned the corner I noticed a couple, now this couple happened to catch my eye the most out of all of them because it consisted of Arya and Nick, eating each other's faces off. "What the hel!" Nicks head shot to me as his eyes widened. He too was dressed in a tailored suit, a navy blue tie hung on his neck to match Aryas dress. Why was this happening all the time? It's always my friends that get completely brain washed. I shook my head in disbelief before turning my back on him. I heard his fast footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner. "Dylan?!" He ran right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, making me drop my bag off my shoulder and almost causing me to bump into him. "Let me just explain..." "Has she marked you?" I mean you could almost see it in his eyes, she had marked him, and knowing the way life goes he's probably even mated with her. "Actually... Don't even answer that." I aggressively picked my bag up off of the floor and stormed off down the hall. "Dylan, just listen to me, Erin was right, it's so hard to resist your soulmate, and Arya is actually ok once you get to know her." I just kept walking, he caught up to me walking beside me but it didn't matter, I completely ignored everything and everyone. 'I'm so not in the mood today' getting into class was good though, I said hello to Mr Foley and took my usual seat. Nick sighed then took his bag off ready to sit next to me, but I snapped before he had the chance. "Traitors and mated idiots sit on that side of the room." I didn't look him in the eye as I pointed to a seat right at the front of the classroom on the opposite side. His eyes widened as he turned his attention back to me. "You can't be serious Dylan." I gave him a blank look before grabbing my book out of my backpack, I placed it on the desk then began to write the date on the top line. "I've sat in this seat for as long as I can remember." I ignored him, his voice sounded sad and shocked. "Dylan? Wait! What is that?!" Before I could react Nick had grabbed hold of my branded arm and turned it to see the letters. "Oh my God! What happened?" I snatched my arm away from him and shrugged as I continued to write in my book before grabbing my water bottle out of my bag. "The principal happened, it was my punishment for speaking out against Adrian and Arya. I wear it with pride." He just held a complete look of disbelief. "You spoke out against them?" I shrugged, what did he think I'd do. "It's no secret that I despise this stvpid new world and the mutts that control it. You were my friend, I wasn't going to let them just take you without saying something, although that is exactly what you seem to have done. Enjoy the view from your new seat!" "Don't be like that, Dylan, I'm your best friend, I'm sorry about your arm, but..." my eyes rolled inside my head at my friends words. "Anything with the word 'but' in, isn't an apology, it's a rationalization." I took a drink of water from my bottle and kept my eyes facing forward, ignoring his every attempt to try and talk to me. "Dylan?.. Dylan?... Do you know what? Erin is right, if you push us all away you won't have any friends left." He huffed before walking over to the empty seat and sitting down, I could feel him glancing up at me every now and again but I didn't respond. "Good morning class, please settle down." He looked at me then at Nick and frowned, we've never sat apart, we were friends before the new world even began. I just shook my head telling him to forget it. "So... as you know the king will be arriving in a short while, but until then lessons will go on as normal." Its funny seeing teachers in the same uniform your wearing, mr Foley and his wife are the coolest. Human teachers and doctors only have slightly more respect than we do. Because of Mr Foley's status him and his wife have better access to food and drink, Mrs Foley is cool, sometimes she even makes sure mr Foley brings some in for me. Ya know, coz I'm their favorite student. It's not in a weird way, it's just they were friends of the family before the new wold took effect. Mr Foley and my dad were buddies from high school, so it goes without sayin really. "All the mated humans will be at the front of each years line again, after that you will all be placed in status, Nick, as your mated to Alpha Arya, you'll be at the front of your line. Dylan as you have been branded..." his voice trailed off as he looked at me. "Yeah yeah, I'll be at the back of the line behind everyone. I get it." I huffed, moving my sight towards the window once more. "I am sorry." I turned to face Mr Foley again, he looked genuinely upset and that look of pity wasn't something I wanted to see. I gave him a clipped nod then turned away again. "Anyway, on to the subject matter, 'Of Mice and Men, page 64, Nick why don't you start us off with the reading."

"Of course sir." Nick began reading the book but I switched off, today is going to be a long day. After almost an hour and a half of reading comprehension, the bell chimed signaling lunch. I shot up and out of the classroom before anyone could say anything. Today, I was avoiding drama like the plague.

I wandered the corridors straight to the lunch hall. All the people I would normally hang out with we're all mated so I grabbed my lunch quickly, and sat down at the end of the human table. Let me lay the lunch hall out for you. On one side of the room you have two long rows of tables, with simple benches that make it look like prison, on the other side of the room you have multiple round tables with fancy chairs. Yup you get it. The humans sit at the prison tables and the wolves and traitors sit on the fancy tables, they get fancy food, fancy drink and most importantly they get pudding. what I would give to have some pudding. "Dylan can we just talk?" Nick quickly took the spot next to me as he set his lunch tray down. I looked at his food which had been placed on a ceramic, circular white plate. God that looked good. I sighed knowing he was going to talk anyway. "Fine, you have two minutes." I used my fork to take a bit of pasta off his plate and shoved it into my mouth. God that was good. "After I left school, I was taken to the pack house with Arya, and I really got to know her. It took a few days for me to finally accept being with her, but ever since life has been ok, and the sax... well that's a whole other story." Eww, I didn't need that mental image in my head. "I'm glad your happy." I stated before deciding I had no appetite. His face held shock before he sighed in relief. "That means a lot Dylan, I mean you know that your opinion matters to me." I cut him off before he could say anything else. "I said I was glad your happy. I didn't say I approved of what you've done. You've basically turned into one of THEM, I can't ever forgive you for that." He looked hurt, but I couldn't care less about his feelings. He placed his hand gently on my arm and went to open his mouth when a growl sounded out. All heads whipped to where it came from, Arya was stood holding a glass of soda and a plate, she was looking right at me and Nick and I would totally be dead if looks could kil. Nick quickly retracted his hand, his whole face fell and you could see sorrow flood his irises. "You sit with me now, get away from that, that... scum!" Wow, Nick was such a lucky guy. NOT. "You heard her. Get away from me, go sit with your new friends. I'm happy for you, and I understand where your coming from, but don't come up to me again and pretend you didn't betray your own kind. Don't pretend you didn't betray me." I shoved a little bit of food into my mouth before standing up and walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my tray on the table. I was walking through the hallway to the classroom, you see I decided to spend lunch with Mr Foley in his room, when I happened to hear voices in the corridor. "Is it wise for her to actually be present when the king arrives? Surely she could be placed in the dungeons, it might actually teach her some respect?" My principal was speaking to the alpha of our district, huh, if I stayed and listened do you think they'd notice, maybe they could smell me?! "Everyone is to be present, if the Riley girl does one thing out of line she will be dealt with severely, child or not. That girl has been a blight to the district since day one, she's dangerous, if she puts one hair out of place I will personally break her into submission." Oh shet, they were talking about me specifically, and they mentioned the dungeon, that's not been used in months. Normally I would have listened in more but something about the entire situation didn't sit right with me, all of a sudden, I was on edge, and simply wasn't interested in the slightest in hearing how my misery was to be enhanced. I backed up slightly before turning around and bumping head first into one of the hottest man I had ever seen. I lost my balance immediately and fell straight on to the floor letting out a small grumble in the process. His eyebrows knitted together quickly and his breath hitched in his throat as he looked upon my fallen state and gasped. "Mate!" He whispered, his eyes fixated on mine. Now, I had seen and heard that many times to know what that means, I gasped before taking a step back. 'No, no, no, no, no. This can not be happening.' He growled slightly before stepping towards me. Oh Shet!

I'll try to keep it short and simple I am Asian Vietnamese for anyone who's curios and we have one of classmate we can call E. E and I have a really saulty past mostly because she is a racist and she plays rugby the rugby part will be important later for some added context we have a classbook for those who dont know what that is its basically its where you get in school stood down if your name go on it. I live in NZ and rugby is one of the most played sport here and one of our dean mr E is a family friend of E and a rugby coach for her team so on thursday we have a sub for english and she was back to saying racist stuff to me and I just snaped and insult her in every way i know how to she started complaining to the subs that oh shouldn't i be written in the book and he said no he said that he even back me up if I get in trouble and here is the problem on friday E told my actual english teacher and in social study I get call out of class saying that I was being racist to her I told the dean that even the sub saw it he just get pissed and told me that I was antagonizing the sweet and innocent E and stop playing the victim so now I will be stood down for the fifth period how do I deal with this.

‼️Note: Names are fake
I (20F) have been friends with Jill (20F) for a while now. We’ve had many ups and downs throughout the years we’ve known one another, but currently we are doing okay. She has always had a habit of taking a mile when you give her an inch. But as of late, I’ve been trying to solidify more boundaries between us.
A few weeks ago, Jill left her home because of some family issues. I’m not comfortable elaborating as it isn’t my business to tell. She had texted me when the issue occurred asking if she could stay at my place for a while. I responded saying yes and didn’t ask any questions. I ended up calling her where she filled me in and said she wasn’t going to stay with me. She told me she had decided she was going to stay at her bf’s place (19M).
Two-ish weeks ago she texts me out of the blue and asks for a favor. She said she was going to get some of her things and wanted to know if she could store a decent amount of it at my home. This clearly signaled to me that she is moving out of her home and will be living with her bf. I said no because my house is pretty crammed with all of my things from moving out of my dorm. When I asked why she couldn’t take her stuff to her bf’s place, I really didn’t get a straight answer. Just that she didn’t want to inconvenience him. I thought to myself “why is it okay to inconvenience me though by making me your personal storage unit?” When I asked how long it would be here, she said until she got her own place. Judging by the fact that she has no job and seems content staying with her bf, I figured that could mean I would have her things indefinitely and I wasn’t down with that.
Around the same time, Jill texted asking if she could stay the night when she went to her home to get her things. I didn’t respond right away because she then tacked on after a few minutes that her bf would need to stay too. Once again, I was not down with this. I live in a two bedroom home with my mother and her bf. It wouldn’t have been impossible to house them both for a night, but I’m not friends with her bf. No ill feelings towards him, but I wasn’t comfortable letting some guy I barely know stay at my house and my mother wasn’t either.
Fast forward to yesterday. She texts me again (keep in mind she has not been texting me at all except to ask for these favors). She asks this time if she can send her mail here. She elaborated saying that she thought if she got her stuff sent to her bf’s house, it would somehow tip off our school and she would be put on out-of-state tuition (???). One thing I haven’t mentioned is Jill has an older brother who literally lives 2 minutes down the road from me. She says she doesn’t want to send it there because she “doesn’t like him right now” (as far as I’m aware, her argument with her brother has nothing to do with the family issue that caused her to move out). I don’t plan on asking why she’s mad at her brother because it’s none of my business. Just like with her belongings, Jill doesn’t seem to plan to come pick up her mail regularly and expects me to hold onto it. From what she’s said, I don’t believe that she has anything super important being sent, she just wants to change her address to my home whilst living with her bf so all her mail will come here. Just personally, I am not comfortable with that at all. I do not want to be responsible for someone’s mail. I think it could lead to issues and I don’t want to accidentally misplace something that didn’t belong to me in the first place.
As of right now, I haven’t responded, but I am planning on saying no. However, I kind of feel like I’m being a jerk? I’ve talked to my mom and my bsf and they both say that I’m justified and it isn’t my problem. But I’m still feeling a little hesitant as I don’t want her to think that I’m not concerned for her or her well-being because I very much am. I just don’t want to become her personal storage unit.
AITAH??

She probably will never see this, then again I could be wrong. I kind of hope she does so I can say some of what I wanted to say, but instead we ended up arguing over things that are really not important and I wish I could take it all back.
In High School it started and I never told anyone, not even my best friend. You were the one, the girl who was in a relationship, the crush I always wanted, the one I wanted to marry and spend my life with, to treat with the most genuine respect and to love and cherish. The problem was you were taken and I respected that line, most people don't. Yet life just kept moving forward. I come to find years later that your life has been filled with trauma, neglect, abuse, filled with drama and hate, being used and taken advantage of. The things I would never let happen to you or do to you were happening or had happened, and it breaks my heart to see you so different than the one I knew all those years ago. But deep in there it's still you and I hope that I may one day bring you back to happiness and to keep a smile on your face and to show you how much you are loved.
After 20 years we found each other living together albeit briefly after some difficult and unexpected times. I tried to tell you how I felt, you didn't want to hear it. And then we did something together I never thought would ever happen, and it was something I had hoped would happen for so long. I will always remember it and think about it everyday, how incredible it was and how it still could be. Even the first time our lips locked I was in complete ecstacy, the way you kissed me was something passionate and real, not just another kiss. You really are amazing and so beautiful and I wish we could continue to become something more. Something beautiful. Something forever.
I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't stand being thought of as just someone else there to use you. I would never hurt you. I tried to find the words, but you shut me down, you distanced yourself from me, that hurt. I know things are tough and I was willing to do everything I could to help.
Maybe I sound like I am rambling now but just know this. I am sorry for how I left, for leaving you alone, for everything wrong that I may have done. I just want you in my life, by my side. Maybe one day that will happen but it is something you need to figure out. I will continue to wait for you. If you will have me, come to me. You'll be safe and respected, loved and appreciated. For now, I am setting off on the hunt for more money, to give myself a fresh start and that also includes you, as I told you during our time together. My hand and heart will be waiting for you to take.
Find me. Message me. Email me. Call me. Anything. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives.
I'm sorry J. I miss you. I want you with me. I want to hold you, hold your hand, to love you, to kiss you, to be the one you deserve. Hopefully we will find each other again. For now, just know im there thinking about you, waiting and going to do everything I possibly can.
Me.

English: for section 1 question a on paper 1 use pqe, point quote explain, nake one point use a quote to back it up and explain, leave extra space after each point incase you have extra time to spend on it
Question b of that same question make sure if you write the text of a speech the whole text is said speech and if you have to for example write the text of a speech from a famous person you never step out of character. Your opening line should be basically a rephrasing of the question eg:write an article for the local newspaper, you should say "I am writing for the x newspaper to tell you about...", even if its unrealistic they still look for this in regard to your purpose mark.
For the composing:make sure there are famous people you can talk about a lot, also just a few topics that youve got some bit of knowledge on e.g ai might be handy
personal essay: use anecdotes even if they're made up
Short story:I'm avoiding this personally but make sure you show don't tell and alsondont leave plot holes, from what I've heard people who do this already have things like settings, characters and storylines planned out before the exam
Opinion essay: chose for or against and be strongly for or against, if im not mistaken you can be neutral but it's a lot harder
For the single text your first quote shouldn't be from act 1 scene 1 or your texts equivalent,your answer shouldn't be a summary
For hamlet: have lots of quotes, back in as many points as possible with quotes, remember the word regicide and antic-disposition, if the question asks about Claudius' role as villain if must only be his direct wrong doings (laertes, elder hamlet) and not the ones he indirectly caused by making hamlet mad (ophelia, polonius etc).
Comparative:constantly compare your 3 texts,(this next tip only applies if parf of your comparative course is never let me go) MOST of the time if you are doing the question 1 which is split up into a and b where a is in relation to 1 text and b is 2, never let me go will be in part a as it is hard to compare to other texts, this obviously depends on the question but if in doubt do that
Unseen poetry:I'm absolutely useless at this but on my mock I completely misunderstood the poem and got 17/20, waffle with confidence, don't spend too long on it as 20 marks is sweet fa in your English paper and the difference between spending 20 mins and 25 mins is no more than 3 marks.
Poetry: have one poem you can talk for days about no matter what, they will more than likely come up. Have 3 more you understand to be able to answer a question, then your perfectly covered. If you want to be more confident you can learn 2 poems to perfect 50/50 but from here to Thursday time management is important
History: if your a slow writer like me learn a metric fuck tonne of good quotes they're the quickest way to pick up marks, here's a few if you want them
Oh little sputnik flying high/with made-in-moscow-beep/you show the world its a commie sky/and uncle Sam's asleep-mennen Williams,democratic governor of michigan
The United States would provide political, military and economic assistance to all democratic nations under threat from external and internal forces-the turman doctrine
We are kings men and well be with you to the end -james Craig (not precisely a long one but so many essays it could be used in)
I want dr king to know that I didn't come to selma to make his job difficult, I really did come thinking I could make it easier. If the white people realise what the alternative is, perhaps they will be more willing to here dr king-malcolm x
Geography: from here to friday dedicate 10 minutes to aerial photography, it's 8 marks waiting to be claimed. Nows probably too late for flashcards but if it isn't fucking use them for srps
Maths: nows not too late to print off a mock or past paper, see what needs the most work and make sure you fully understand them
Irish: if your like me and haven't done a scratch there's still more than a week, predictions are your best friend, learn one essay, one poetry notes, one story notes and one play notes and let God decide how well he wants you to do
French:be able to write about the Olympics as if your fluent, its probably going to come up. Know your tenses and your subjunctive. Learn off a few proverbs they add marks to any essay. "Je suis tout à fait d'accord avec le declaration Ci dessus","il est neccesaire de pesser le pour et le contre", "n'oublions pas le proverbe" and "a Mon avis" fit into most opinion pieces, know them(get correct spelling aswel mine was affected by autocorrect). Also if your down to the wire learn diary phrased, even if you write a bad diary you will get marks for the phrases
Accounting: final accounts will come up,know 2/3, learn all your ratios and all the theory they will come up, know either budgeting or costing as one of each will come up, that leaves the second 100 marker, it will most likely be suspense as that comes up every second year but it could be a 60 marker, I wouldn't even bother worrying about anything else until ratios,final accounts, budget/costing and suspense are up to the grade your hoping for but if all that is sorted learn off maybe 3 other possible 100 markers, that any you have 4 which includes the 80% likely suspense and 2 will come up, the accounting exam is probably the easiest to predict, and for the love of God know your theory. Keep doing exam questions of your struggling, every time you correct one write down your mistakes and have the list of mistakes next to you when doing the next one, then tear it and make a new list of mistakes
Buisness(salty I couldn't do it cuz it was on same time as history): know unit 1-3 inside out (according to u/businessgarbage6666)
This is all my experience, I will add any good advice for these subject or other subjects that are provided in the comments, all of these are for higher level except for maths, good luck,don't panic and think about the pint that's instore once this is all over

What should i do?
Hey im 16m
and 2.5 years ago I met a girl through snapchat we were just talking for 1 year and then she wanted to meet me I liked her quite a bit so I agreed we met in my city because she was here that weekend and the moment I saw her I was in love we talked all day and a week later she said she was in love too but I wanted to ask her when I saw her in real life again so that stopped us from being in a relationship then I didn't see her for 2 months and we called and talked a lot and one day she said that her mother wanted to meet me I was jumping for joy and didn't know what to say because I was so happy 1 week later I met her family.
it was a great day and everything went well i had bought flowers for her and her mother just before i left we went for a walk and i thought that was my chance to ask her but i didn't dare every time
every time I wanted to say something no sound came out and I became shy then we went back inside and shortly afterwards I went home we kept talking a lot and doing a lot of things together and everything went well a few months later we still hadn't seen each other because we didn't have enough time I missed her a lot but I didn't dare to say that 1 month later was Valentine's Day and I had a I got her a bear of roses that unfortunately I couldn't give to her myself because she had problems so we couldn't meet up, so I sent it to her house, which honestly hurt a lot because I wanted to give it myself and ask her right away for a relationship A few days later she had given me bear and we were talking until I got a lump in my throat and suddenly started missing her very much. I actually never miss people but with her I felt different and I thought maybe I should just say something. I feel and I did I said that I loved her and that I never want to lose her again and even though people say that young people always break up, we stay together and we will make it. I saw that she was in our chat for a while and then she called me and i heard she was crying she said that I was very sweet and that she will never forget that
everything went well until 2 months later I had arranged to meet her twice and she had ghosted me twice, the last time I was very angry because I went to her city and waited 2 hours for her we were not talking until I said I didn't want to talk for a while because I was too angry
after 2 days of not talking I said I was sorry for what I said and that I wanted to talk it out she said she would call me when she had time but after 2 days I still hadn't heard from her so I asked if everything was okay and then she said that she has thought about it and that she doesn't want a relationship right now because she now has to focus on herself, school and her family, which I completely understood, we both had our own problems, that's what brought us together in the first place we just forgot what happened and started talking normally again after that we and we met up one more time or we shouldve met up because she ghosted me again this time one of her problems got in her way and she couldn’t contact me
But i didnt know so i got angry and said if she is gonna do this everytime i dont want to keep going
she explained what happened and then one of my problems came to my mind, which made me react even angrier to everyone, she didn't know and thought I was angry, and thought I was angry which made our argument even worse the next day our argument continued and after that we stopped talking for 1 day then she said she has thought about it and thinks it would be better if we with “us” She said she had no interest anymore after that moment i realized what had happened and i started chasing her for 1 week but it was already too late 4 days after we stopped talking i tried again and i told her how i felt and sent her a message about us for a long time in the hope that it would help She called me again crying and said that i was nice and she really loves me but she doesnt know how we should keep going she said she will come back on it
After couple of days she said “maybe its better if we really stop “ and its hurts me when she said that that day we talked a bit and i felt nothing for her anymore One day later i mist her so much i wanted to go back in time and re-do everything but in an good way 2 weeks after that mist her so much i contacted her and she said “you need to forget me otherwise your gonna hurt yourself” after that i said “okay sorry for bothering you” and that was 1,5 months ago
I really mis her and i think about her everyday even if i dont want to thinking back we had it so perfect with each other and i just want to restart with her And i want to contact het again but she probably gonna me annoyed or smt and she wanted no contact because is will hurt her to so i respect her her choice My best friend said that i need to forget everything because she probably already did
But idk went its late in the day i miss her Im football player and got scouted for a great team And she always believed in me and when i get news from my new team i wanna tell her because i always told her and my mom first but now it just makes me sad
So should i contact her again and say that i miss her and probably annoy her or What should i do?

She probably will never see this, then again I could be wrong. I kind of hope she does so I can say some of what I wanted to say, but instead we ended up arguing over things that are really not important and I wish I could take it all back.
In High School it started and I never told anyone, not even my best friend. You were the one, the girl who was in a relationship, the crush I always wanted, the one I wanted to marry and spend my life with, to treat with the most genuine respect and to love and cherish. The problem was you were taken and I respected that line, most people don't. Yet life just kept moving forward. I come to find years later that your life has been filled with trauma, neglect, abuse, filled with drama and hate, being used and taken advantage of. The things I would never let happen to you or do to you were happening or had happened, and it breaks my heart to see you so different than the one I knew all those years ago. But deep in there it's still you and I hope that I may one day bring you back to happiness and to keep a smile on your face and to show you how much you are loved.
After 20 years we found each other living together albeit briefly after some difficult and unexpected times. I tried to tell you how I felt, you didn't want to hear it. And then we did something together I never thought would ever happen, and it was something I had hoped would happen for so long. I will always remember it and think about it everyday, how incredible it was and how it still could be. Even the first time our lips locked I was in complete ecstacy, the way you kissed me was something passionate and real, not just another kiss. You really are amazing and so beautiful and I wish we could continue to become something more. Something beautiful. Something forever.
I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't stand being thought of as just someone else there to use you. I would never hurt you. I tried to find the words, but you shut me down, you distanced yourself from me, that hurt. I know things are tough and I was willing to do everything I could to help.
Maybe I sound like I am rambling now but just know this. I am sorry for how I left, for leaving you alone, for everything wrong that I may have done. I just want you in my life, by my side. Maybe one day that will happen but it is something you need to figure out. I will continue to wait for you. If you will have me, come to me. You'll be safe and respected, loved and appreciated. For now, I am setting off on the hunt for more money, to give myself a fresh start and that also includes you, as I told you during our time together. My hand and heart will be waiting for you to take.
Find me. Message me. Email me. Call me. Anything. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives.
I'm sorry J. I miss you. I want you with me. I want to hold you, hold your hand, to love you, to kiss you, to be the one you deserve. Hopefully we will find each other again. For now, just know im there thinking about you, waiting and going to do everything I possibly can.
Me

Hey im 16m
and 2.5 years ago I met a girl through snapchat we were just talking for 1 year and then she wanted to meet me I liked her quite a bit so I agreed we met in my city because she was here that weekend and the moment I saw her I was in love we talked all day and a week later she said she was in love too but I wanted to ask her when I saw her in real life again so that stopped us from being in a relationship then I didn't see her for 2 months and we called and talked a lot and one day she said that her mother wanted to meet me I was jumping for joy and didn't know what to say because I was so happy 1 week later I met her family.
it was a great day and everything went well i had bought flowers for her and her mother just before i left we went for a walk and i thought that was my chance to ask her but i didn't dare every time
every time I wanted to say something no sound came out and I became shy then we went back inside and shortly afterwards I went home we kept talking a lot and doing a lot of things together and everything went well a few months later we still hadn't seen each other because we didn't have enough time I missed her a lot but I didn't dare to say that 1 month later was Valentine's Day and I had a I got her a bear of roses that unfortunately I couldn't give to her myself because she had problems so we couldn't meet up, so I sent it to her house, which honestly hurt a lot because I wanted to give it myself and ask her right away for a relationship A few days later she had given me bear and we were talking until I got a lump in my throat and suddenly started missing her very much. I actually never miss people but with her I felt different and I thought maybe I should just say something. I feel and I did I said that I loved her and that I never want to lose her again and even though people say that young people always break up, we stay together and we will make it. I saw that she was in our chat for a while and then she called me and i heard she was crying she said that I was very sweet and that she will never forget that
everything went well until 2 months later I had arranged to meet her twice and she had ghosted me twice, the last time I was very angry because I went to her city and waited 2 hours for her we were not talking until I said I didn't want to talk for a while because I was too angry
after 2 days of not talking I said I was sorry for what I said and that I wanted to talk it out she said she would call me when she had time but after 2 days I still hadn't heard from her so I asked if everything was okay and then she said that she has thought about it and that she doesn't want a relationship right now because she now has to focus on herself, school and her family, which I completely understood, we both had our own problems, that's what brought us together in the first place we just forgot what happened and started talking normally again after that we and we met up one more time or we shouldve met up because she ghosted me again this time one of her problems got in her way and she couldn’t contact me
But i didnt know so i got angry and said if she is gonna do this everytime i dont want to keep going
she explained what happened and then one of my problems came to my mind, which made me react even angrier to everyone, she didn't know and thought I was angry, and thought I was angry which made our argument even worse the next day our argument continued and after that we stopped talking for 1 day then she said she has thought about it and thinks it would be better if we with “us” She said she had no interest anymore after that moment i realized what had happened and i started chasing her for 1 week but it was already too late 4 days after we stopped talking i tried again and i told her how i felt and sent her a message about us for a long time in the hope that it would help She called me again crying and said that i was nice and she really loves me but she doesnt know how we should keep going she said she will come back on it
After couple of days she said “maybe its better if we really stop “ and its hurts me when she said that that day we talked a bit and i felt nothing for her anymore One day later i mist her so much i wanted to go back in time and re-do everything but in an good way 2 weeks after that mist her so much i contacted her and she said “you need to forget me otherwise your gonna hurt yourself” after that i said “okay sorry for bothering you” and that was 1,5 months ago
I really mis her and i think about her everyday even if i dont want to thinking back we had it so perfect with each other and i just want to restart with her And i want to contact het again but she probably gonna me annoyed or smt and she wanted no contact because is will hurt her to so i respect her her choice My best friend said that i need to forget everything because she probably already did
But idk went its late in the day i miss her Im football player and got scouted for a great team And she always believed in me and when i get news from my new team i wanna tell her because i always told her and my mom first but now it just makes me sad
So should i contact her again and say that i miss her and probably annoy her or What should i do?

She probably will never see this, then again I could be wrong. I kind of hope she does so I can say some of what I wanted to say, but instead we ended up arguing over things that are really not important and I wish I could take it all back.
In High School it started and I never told anyone, not even my best friend. You were the one, the girl who was in a relationship, the crush I always wanted, the one I wanted to marry and spend my life with, to treat with the most genuine respect and to love and cherish. The problem was you were taken and I respected that line, most people don't. Yet life just kept moving forward. I come to find years later that your life has been filled with trauma, neglect, abuse, filled with drama and hate, being used and taken advantage of. The things I would never let happen to you or do to you were happening or had happened, and it breaks my heart to see you so different than the one I knew all those years ago. But deep in there it's still you and I hope that I may one day bring you back to happiness and to keep a smile on your face and to show you how much you are loved.
After 20 years we found each other living together albeit briefly after some difficult and unexpected times. I tried to tell you how I felt, you didn't want to hear it. And then we did something together I never thought would ever happen, and it was something I had hoped would happen for so long. I will always remember it and think about it everyday, how incredible it was and how it still could be. Even the first time our lips locked I was in complete ecstacy, the way you kissed me was something passionate and real, not just another kiss. You really are amazing and so beautiful and I wish we could continue to become something more. Something beautiful. Something forever.
I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't stand being thought of as just someone else there to use you. I would never hurt you. I tried to find the words, but you shut me down, you distanced yourself from me, that hurt. I know things are tough and I was willing to do everything I could to help.
Maybe I sound like I am rambling now but just know this. I am sorry for how I left, for leaving you alone, for everything wrong that I may have done. I just want you in my life, by my side. Maybe one day that will happen but it is something you need to figure out. I will continue to wait for you. If you will have me, come to me. You'll be safe and respected, loved and appreciated. For now, I am setting off on the hunt for more money, to give myself a fresh start and that also includes you, as I told you during our time together. My hand and heart will be waiting for you to take.
Find me. Message me. Email me. Call me. Anything. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives.
I'm sorry J. I miss you. I want you with me. I want to hold you, hold your hand, to love you, to kiss you, to be the one you deserve. Hopefully we will find each other again. For now, just know im there thinking about you, waiting and going to do everything I possibly can.
Me.

Context: This was one of my first online games as a DM. I ran a campaign with the typical "necromancy magic is seen as bad" trope due to massive events in the campaign world (that led to the first Lich being created and using the war between 3 nations to fuel his undead army, until all 3 nations realized the threat and banded together to defeat the army of the dead and supposedly destroyed the Lich). With that knowledge in mind, one player asked to create a school of necromancy wizard (tiefling). I said sure, but let them know that if they were to use necromancy within a village, town or captial city that it would draw attention to them and most likely result in their character being arrested, or even attacked. The player said they were fine with that, but asked if they could be Lawful Evil. Now, this should have been the first red flag for this player, but I said that I would allow it but only if their actions didn't directly target or effect the other player characters. They agreed.
Now to give some more context, the other players character's consisted of:

• Protector Aasimar, Oath of Ancients Paladin, Lawful Good.
• High Elf, Wild Magic SorcereOath of Devotion Paladin, Neutral Good.
• Human, Gloomstalker Ranger, Neutral Good.
• Halfling, Circle of the Moon Druid, Chaotic Good.
• Wood Elf, Assassin Rogue, Chaotic Neutral.

I mentioned to the Wizard player that the paladins might not be pleased with their character if they witness them using necromancy, again, to which the wizard player said that would be fine. The second red flag was the wizard's backstory. One of the major NPC's in this campaign was a High Elf Prince, who was a powerful Archmage and a hero to the elves (inspired by Teclis from Warhammer), and the player wanted to include this NPC in their backstory, but frame the elf prince as a villian, having him mysteriously kill off the tiefling's adopted father. Now, I should have suggested perhaps another NPC of less significance to the world to take his place, but I thought, "what the hell??", I could throw an interesting twist on it and have the wizard's foster father actually be a bad guy. So, I let it be.
Onto the story: The party were in the Elven captial city when the wizard asks me as one of their "errands" that they want to visit the slums of the city. So they travel there and the wizard sees a bunch of dirty kids playing together. The wizard then walks over to a halfling girl, and begins to mesmerize her with prestidigitation effects. He asked about her quality of life (I thought he was going to give her some money or something like that), so she shares with him that she is an orphan and lives on the street. The wizard offers her food and says that if she comes with him, he will give her a better life and teach her how to use magic. Now at the time, I wasn't sure what his intentions were, so I was being very cautious in this moment, so I asked him to roll an insight check as she was looking at him with doubt in her mind. He succeeds and I share that she has doubts about his sincerity. I ask him to roll a persuasion check with a 20 DC and he makes it with a high roll. So, she agrees to go with him on the promise that he teaches her magic. When the wizard returned to the party, they were surprised and not very keen on having a young girl accompany them for their next adventure, but they allowed it after they made the wizard promise to keep her well out of harms way when danger arises.
The party arrive at the entrance to a long, and fairly dangerous dungeon crawl. In the first battle encounter, the wizard tells his "apprentice" to attack the nearest enemy instead of running away, like the party had agreed on. Now the "apprentice" isn't able to do much (as a lvl 1 wizard), and is subsequently attacked and falls unconcious and the party began to panic. The party were able to swiftly defeat the remaining enemies and heal the halfling girl. Now, when she came to, she was terrified and had a full on panic attack and wanted to leave after almost dying. The party agreed that she should not be with the party and should return to her home. This angered the wizard (and the player), who was not pleased when the party all voted to send her home. They were able to do so as another NPC was accompanying the party, and they escorted the girl back.
Now comes the kicker. The wizard player dm's me and says that he is not happy with what happened. I tell him that I had already spoken to him about the other player characters possibly not agreeing with his decision, and that the wizard was "okay with that". The wizard player doesn't reply. So I thought that the matter has been resolved. NOPE!!! Out of nowhere, the wizard states that during the night whilst on his "watch", he casts mold earth multiple times during the night and burries the oath of ancients paladin alive (as he was the voice of reason that was consistantly raising the fact that the halfling girl would not be safe). Now by this point in the session, the majority of the players as well as myself were quite frustrated with this player, as he had tried to meta before and say things like, "it would work in real life" when he attempted to turn events in his favor over and over again.
I told the group that we're going to take a 10 minute break before anything else happened. I spoke with the oath of ancients paladin player and asked him what his opinion is on the matter was and if what he thought I should do/should I even allow the wizard to attempt it? The oath of ancients player says that he was happy for me to let the wizard try as if they failed and the paladin would quickly "solve" the issue.
So I messaged the wizard player and confirmed that they're certain that they want to still try it. They agreed confidently and stated that mold earth was "a somatic only cantrip" and that the paladin "won't even know that I'm casting it until their suffocating under the ground".
I messaged the group and asked them to come back to the discord chat and we jumped back in. I asked the paladin to roll a perception check, setting the DC at 10, as I reasoned that the paladin would still feel the earth being molded over and around them. The paladin rolls a natural 20. So the paladin awakens, and sees that the wizard is trying to smother them. The paladin player attempts to intimidate with the wizard and convince them not to "test his patience", but the wizard player was furious and was trying to make up more excuses on how the perception roll should have been at disadvantage.
I stated that my ruling stood, and asked them what they want to do, to which the wizard left and never returned.
I had a long conversation with the wizard player after the session and explained that I did warn them in advance that the other player characters might not agree with their actions. The player seemed strangely calm and collected and asked if they could create another character to replace the tiefling wizard (this should have been the 3rd red flag). I agreed but specified this time that necromancer and evil alignment was off the table this time. The player agreed and then createed a high elf blade-singer wizard (and min maxed it as much as they could). They gave this new character a compelling backstory and I was pleased with it. So the next session, I introduced their character to the party (the party had left the dungeon to find safety and heal the halfling girl before sending her home), and the first thing the player does was declared that they moved to attack the oath of ancients paladin, as soon as they saw him.
Dumbfounded, I ask him why? He respond with, "the paladin threatened (name of the tiefling character) and I take threats deadly seriously".
IMPORTANT NOTE: This was not in the backstory that they provided me with! And I mean, not even the slightest hint, nor was it eluded to!
I pause the game and ask the wizard player to join me in a seperate chat, and asked them how could their new character possibly know who the paladin was and how they would know the tiefling, as the two characters had never met. He said that they would have passed each other and he would have shared it with this stranger. To which I said, yeah no that's not what you sent me and you're not just gonna change your backstory on the fly just so you can attempt to kill the paladin. He got incredibly angry and started yelling about me not letting him play his character how he wants to play them.
The conclusion: So to wrap up this long post. The player apologised to the group, asked for one more chance as he like the group. I asked the others individually what their thoughts on it were, they agreed to give him one more chance, so I did. And then 3 sessions later, that same player attempted to attack the ranger because he made a funny comment about the tielfing wizard (all in character). After that final straw, the player was subsquently removed from the campaign.
On a happier note: This campaign has been running for almost 5 years now and is beginning to come to a close as the players are level 19 (soon to be 20) and have accomplished incredible feats in the world.

My girlfriend (F19) and I (M18) have been together for almost a year and a half, and she has made continuous mistakes that have crossed boundaries and make me question if our relationship is even real.
I don't know if this has any relevance, but my girlfriend has BPD, and has been screwed over in her past relationships. And the first two or three months throughout our relationship, she was extremely cold towards me. Like it seemed like she hated my guts, but around 5-6 months in, she got obsessed with me, needed to know my every move, always talking about how handsome I am, and saying how she'd probably kill herself if we broke up. The issues in our relationship start here:
It started around the first month or two in our relationship, when she pulls up her phone to text her mum, I see in her recent messages her ex is there. She loved this ex so much, and when she found out he cheated on her (which led to their breakup), she was placed under heavy medication, and sent to a psych ward. I confronted her over the situation a few hours later over iMessages, telling her that I found how she didn't tell me that her ex and her were talking, and how it was disrespectful to our relationship. She tells me that she thought I wouldn't want to know, and that it would've ruined the mood. She began to tell me what the messages said, NOT SHOW ME, tell me. She said that the ex had her on a sort of blackmail leash, threatening to leak her private pictures (she never told me what the terms of the blackmail was), and also that the ex was going through a lot, as he and his current girlfriend are taking heavy drugs, and he needed someone to spit out his problems to. She never showed me the actual messages, only telling me what the messages supposedly said.
I don't know if she was lying to me or not, but she deleted the messages, blocked him, and from what I know never talked to him again. But this was the beginning of this distrust, the only way I could believe her, was by taking her word. There were no messages for me to read and verify with my own eyes, I just had to take her word that nothing was happening. I was immature and unable to stand up for myself, so I let the conversation just go her way, and it was shut down within 15 text messages.
Around two months into our relationship, she is moving schools as she has more friends at the other school in her local area, and to finish year 12 in a more professional environment. She goes to one more party that her old school is throwing, to say goodbye to everyone. I wasn't able to attend this party, but I told her to just go on her own. She meets a guy there, and they hit it off. She's texting me and calling me throughout this whole party, and gets me to say hi to this person. I don't mind it, because I just figured she made a new friend. This guy likes all the same things as her, and likes the same music she does. (She's huge into metal / numetal bands.) Suddenly, she stops responding to my messages, calls etc, for around two hours.
When she gets home from the party, she tells me that her phone died, and I ask her how the party went. She tells me that a different girl really liked the guy she was hitting it off with, and how the guy was trying to make the girl jealous, by talking to my girlfriend. My girlfriend tells the guy that she's gonna go on a walk, and the guy follows her. They apparently go to a secluded cliffside, and just talk. She tells me that she had to clear up the air to some people that they did not do the deed, and they were just talking. I tell her how wrong that was of her, and how he most likely had other intentions, especially if hes trying to make another girl jealous. I tell her that boundaries were crossed, and she just tells me to do whatever I want (breakup or stay together). I stay, and she tells me the boundary was set, and if I don't believe her, I can ask the guy himself, or I can ask her girl bestfriend.
I thought the girl bestfriend thing was bizarre, as she said it was just my girlfriend and the guy at the cliffside. There is no way that her girl bestfriend wouldve known, unless my girlfriend specifically told her what happened. Could be a stretch, I dunno.
Once again, another thing that I just have to take her word for. There's nothing I can do to get her to prove to me that nothing happened at that cliffside,
This is where things get a bit murky. Around 9 months into our relationship, my girlfriend meets a guy at her new school, lets call him Fred. Her and Fred become good close friends. This was about the stage in me and my girlfriends relationship where she becomes obsessive with me. She asks me if her and Fred can go over to Fred's house, to smoke some weed. I didn't really mind, so I said sure. This became a daily thing. Her and Fred would go to Freds house almost every day, or at least 4 times a week to smoke weed. Fred would start sending her reels, but she wouldn't send any back. The reels started becoming a bit more weird, or lovey dovey, stuff like "You're either frolicking in this field with or without me".
She'd start sending me voice messages of them having a good time, sending photos of them hanging out, and then when she'd come home from school, she'd tell me all about how Fred said the funniest thing today, how funny he is, how they have inside jokes etc. Fred begins to start asking her to play Minecraft with her. At this point, I talk to her about this. I tell her that I understand that I said it was okay for her to go over to Fred's house, but I'm asking that her and Fred stop hanging out together alone. She tells me that I should've told her sooner, and we both apologised to one another.
I apologised for my miscommunication or lack of communication, and she apologised for crossing another boundary. Things were good between us, she'd stopped hanging out with Fred completely, and our relationship was more intimate then ever. A few weeks after Fred's silence, he asks my girlfriend to go to his party, and my girlfriend is wanting to go. I tell her that I'm uncomfortable with it, and I'd rather she not went, and then she got furious with me, and everyone around her. She was at work during this conversation, but then she locked herself in the staff bathroom, and cried in there for the remainder of her shift. Her friend, who also works at the same place she does, told me about the whole situation with her locking herself in the bathroom, and just checking up on if shes okay, and if anything happened between us. It was clear to me my girlfriend was growing attached to Fred.
She gives in, and tells Fred that she can't go to his party, in which Fred says: "OK, I'll change the party to next week so you can come." This bothered me so much, it's clear to me that Fred's only intentions of this party was to have some more time my girlfriend, and if anyone else was to of cancelled, no way would he of changed the day of the party for them.
I told my girlfriend there was no way she's going to that party, and it turns into a yelling match. She begins to cry, saying how she's sorry that she made me anxious about Fred, and then she goes into her room to self harm, either as a form of manipulation, or because of her BPD. This self harm leads to me having to apologise to her, and comforting her, instantly ending the conversation we were having because I had to go check on her, and sympathise with her.
A few months pass, and Fred and her are talking again. They're not talking outside of texts, so it's whatever, I'm fine with it, and the texts are always one sided, meaning my girlfriend leaving Fred on seen.
Fred asks my girlfriend if she wants to come over to his, in which she explains the situation, and how shes respecting our boundaries.
I go through her and Fred's messages, and find countless somewhat intimate messages between them, as well as Fred disrespecting me and my girlfriends boundaries. My girlfriend and Fred talk to eachother about what they dreamt about, and my girlfriend knows every little detail about Fred. She offers to find him some clothes that Fred was looking for. Then I see the text of my girlfriend asking Fred for some weed, in which Fred tells her to just come over to his, and they can smoke weed. My girlfriend comes up with some shitty excuse explaining why she can't go, and the conversation ends there. I believe that Fred was disrespecting our relationship immensely there, especially after being told that I was uncomfortable with them two hanging out, he proceeds to ask her to go over to his.
I tell her about this, and how it isn't okay, and how he was so clearly disrespecting our boundaries. She tells me that she understands now, and she didn't see it that way throughout their text messages.
I genuinely don't know what to do. I want to marry this girl, but I just can't trust her enough. Are these reasons to break up with her? I'm trying so hard to get them out of my mind, but I just can't. Too many major things have happened, in which she is constantly telling me to just trust her, and that nothing bad happened. I don't know that for sure, and that's whats making me so anxious. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a girl who I can't trust, but I also love her so much. I want to marry her, but I know for my own peace of mind it's probably not the best thing to do, considering I can't trust her.
Please give any advice.
TLDR; I'm worried my girlfriend has cheated on me a few times, but I have no proof, as she is constantly deleting it, or being in situations where I can't get any proof. I love her and want to marry her, but I'm worried our marriage will fail if I can't trust her enough.

I got ghosted by my long term gf (19F) for my (19M) male best friend. I (18M) met my long term gf in high school where we dated for 3 years, we were each others first everything. My gf had become distant no longer messaging me, seeing me etc. some of you may ask why we don’t live with eachother? It’s because she’s a travel nurse so she has to travel for work. I am okay with this, some mates ask if I get lonely but I just want too see her happy, however this week my best friend who is also a nurse had gone with my gf up the coast. I do not know what for my gf was sketchy on the details but during the time she was there she’d text me saying she loves me, etc. This stopped the day she was supposed to come home. I had waited for her at the train station we had planned to meet at to pick her up, she had completely ghosted me not answering my messages and going straight to voicemail. I decided to wait 2 more hours just incase when eventually she texted me saying she had a panicking attack and fainted. I went home kind of defeated but texted her the next day telling her it is okay and I love her and admire her for telling the truth I can pick her up another time, she went back to her loving self until the next time I had to pick her up she ghosted me again. I texted her saying I’d appreciate a message back, I contacted her mother too and no response, I do not know what I did too deserve this, or if she had found someone else, my best friend had been on do not disturb and wasn’t answering either, when she finally looked at my messages on Friday night she unadded me from Snapchat, Instagram and blocked my number, tbh I was very hurt and petty, I messaged her from another phone calling her spineless and telling her everything she had said was a lie, she left me on read. I’m left with no answer no nothing, no where to put my hurt all I can do is move on without learning why. Am I the a hole?

Firstly here is my conclusion from all the videos I have watched. I don't think Dr. K is religious or a typical "theist". I could be wrong, let me know if I am.
I am making this post because I stumbled upon this video in my feed randomly - Internet Therapist Dr. K's Hidden Agenda (youtube.com)
Religious: Belief in an organized form of spirituality, i.e., my way or the high way (e.g.: Quran, Bhagwadgita, Bible). A lot of religious people believe that their religion is the correct one.
Spirituality: Understanding the mind, understanding how humans work through unmeasurable but potentially logically/observationally understandable concepts. e.g.: Doshas, Karma, Dharma.
PS: You can argue it comes from "Hinduism" but those are just Sanskrit words used by Yogis of the past, and yogis are not gods. They wrote these texts not gods, through their observational understandings. You can use whatever translations of those Sanskrit words.
I think spirituality is something that you can't really argue against because you will always have a reasonable doubt of "where do things even come from". It's always a cyclical argument from the point of an atheist where you have to say "You don't know until you know" so why believe something that cannot be measured or proven to be correct?
My thought is that you can definitely believe something that cannot proven to be correct without it being "faith". As Dr. K said faith is when you don't have knowledge, i.e., you don't know certain information so you believe it blindly.
Here is an example, If you have a purpose (dharma), it serves as a protective factor not only against negative emotions but also helps you be resilient or get over addictions.
1) This is not "faith". This is knowledge, I know that having a dharma will give me a sense of responsibility to the world
2) Meditation - "Om Chanting" and "Skull Science" - All of these things that supposedly are not proven to help people but then why do they help people? Once again, these are DISCOVERED by HUMANS (Yogis, Prophets, whoever) by their OBSERVATIONS in the past. Of course, there are not many RCT studies proving this to be better than measurable non-woo-woo solutions or maybe I don't know.
The point I'm making is that this is not BLIND faith, this is knowledge. You kind of have an idea, that based on the observation of how a person works, this specific thing will work for you. The way to develop a solution to a problem is always trial and error and what works for 90% of the randomly chosen people will not even be the BEST treatment for the individuals within that 90% of the study. They could all benefit from a more individualized approach based on observations of how they work rather than a generalized treatment of what will most likely work for most people.
Dr. K isn't recommending that you pray to Hanuman, or Krishna or worship Allah. While those things may help, he says to do a certain type of meditation that has observationally been proven to work in some way shape, or form for a specific person based on very reasonable observations of their behavior.
I have never once heard Dr. K say "You should thank Lord Shiva/Allah/Jesus for changing your life", nor can I EVER imagine those words coming from him. He always has some kind of idea of the pathology of why certain "rituals", i.e., meditation help with logically reasonable and understandable points even if they could sound "INSANE" by Western medicine standards.
Therefore, this is knowledge, not FAITH. If someone creates another unmeasurable solution to an issue, like doing a cobra pose with your mouth open facing up will reduce your anxiety and depression significantly, and an RCT trial comes out proving this outperforms medication and psychotherapy, would you not just do a cobra pose with your mouth open facing up even if you don't understand why it's helping?
My honest opinion is that organized religion is an insult to spirituality, not only does it create divisions it also de-spiritualizes whatever the valuable teachings from those historical texts may have been through excessive worship and obsessive pedestalization of the characters within those scriptures. I know religion has supposedly helped many people and based on observations, you should continue to do whatever ritual is helping because it is addressing some form of behavioral or emotional need and it was developed this way for a reason by people from the past.