I'm nearly 3 months postpartum by now, stitches are healed fine and all, but I'm still getting very mild pain (more like intense discomfort) in my genitals. Some times worse than others and not always predictably.
Today it felt somehow extra awful, like it reminded me of SA. Idk if it's causing me extra anxiety today or if it's worse bc maybe I'm just having an anxious day? But it sucks, I was hoping to feel completely recovered by now. Quick Google search looks like I may always feel this now which amped up my anxiety. I'm already struggling with sexuality since the baby. My pelvic floor is crap too, and I'm still hopeful that I'll be able to properly address that soon and it will fix this. But until then I'm feeling fluffing awful and gross and embarrassed. Anyone else dealing with something similar? Any words of advice or comfort please?

Hey everyone,
I don’t usually post here but I felt compelled after having read so much wisdom everyone shared here to make each other feel better.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with IBS and it was really horrible, from agoraphobia, to anxiety, isolation, depression, stomach pain, bathroom emergencies, bloating, visceral hypersensitivity, I would starve to actually go places, etc (all the usuals). Doctors would prescribe me with pills that didn’t help and would say that they do not know what to do. I felt horrified being left on my own to try to control this thing that was uncontrollable. I also developed PTSD from it, or it was the other way around, I’m not sure. In the end, I was even weighing 39 kg.
My back story that may matter for this is that prior to being diagnosed with IBS, I had panic attacks, and was prescribed Xanax for it which I didn’t take properly (I only took half of the pill) because I was scared. In the end, I successfully resolved panic attacks with family constellations in therapy. After a few months or a year, after some trigger in my trauma I developed IBS, but wasn’t aware that it is very much in the mind and not a physical condition. My mom is a narcissist and my father is an addict, their marriage is toxic and destructive, and they try to suck everyone in on their problems. I was a people pleaser, didn’t know how to say no, I was uncomfortable expressing my feelings, I put needs of others before mine, my role in life was being there for other people, solving their problems and such. I was also codependent in friendship and family.
The thing that helped me get better and cured was going to therapy and changing myself and healing. It is not overnight solution, I know, but once I started to resolve this issues, I was IBS free. I couldn’t eat so many food, but it ALL changed. I was happy, travelling, eating whatever I want, I was free. I also did hypnotherapy for the residual PTSP.
After 6 years of being complete symptom free, two weeks ago I developed my symptoms again, due to very emotionally and psychologically stressful period that lasted for 8 months, and when I decided to go no contact with my family, it came back. I read that usually anxiety or physical symptoms of it can show up not during the stressful time itself but after the stress goes away.
I plan to start my therapy again and do psychosomatic work. I know many therapists who said IBS is curable, and that often chronic pain and autoimmune diseases stem from not putting up boundaries and psychological distress. Also the gut-brain axis is a huge part of it. The loop, the vicious circle, is the same vicious circle you are stuck in when having depression or anxiety. Both feed each other, and it’s fought to come out of it but I just wanted to say here that you CAN!
Best of wishes to everyone 💕

My first reddit post, hope you guys go easy on me.

1. Her

I met her (let's call her missybusy) through a common friend group. My friends from my previous school were still connected to me and I often used to meet them. She was new to that friend group and it was her first time coming for a meetup. My friend has a pretty big place so a lot of us could accommodate at the same time. I am usually quiet and I talk less. I was sitting in the corner on the sofa and then I saw her enter through the door along with one other friend of mine. And oh my god, I was in awe and amazement because truthfully, I had never seen a girl so pretty and radiant. Her eyes were bright like the moon at night, her complexion fair like milk and her smile was just so beautiful I can’t even describe it in words. She was the quiet one as well so we both were seated in the corner having small to no conversation. This was my first meeting with her and then we met on multiple other meetups and it was always a few words of exchange. One of my friends (let's call him Dave) was actually sort of close to her and they both used to talk frequently. However, some problems arrived between Dave and missybusy and so Dave reached out to me for help. So, I tried to solve matters by talking to both Missybusy and Dave and this is how I started talking properly to Missybusy. I tried to solve the matter and, in the process, I became friends with Missybusy. And she was really fun to talk to! all this time I perceived her to be quiet and less talkative but when I started to talk to her, I realized that she has an amazing personality besides being so pretty. And around that time my friendship with her strengthened and we used to talk frequently but not every day. And somewhere among these conversations I developed a liking for her and so did she. We used to flirt a lot and it was so fun and pure. This went on for around 3 to 4 months and we continued to flirt and talk. And it was around the time of January when she had returned from the farewell of her high school and she showed me the pictures and she looked gorgeous. An absolute angel. And that night of constant flirting I always kept mentioning about another her in front Missybusy, I did that so she wouldn’t suspect that I liked her. But then she got serious and she confessed that she liked me and I was in a small shock but then I confessed to her as well. At this point one would think that this is it, this is where you guys get into a relationship. But no, I actually asked her to wait for our final exams to be over and even she wanted this. Around One and a half month later we went on our first date. And it was peaceful but it was a very dull date to be honest I took her from one place to another which I feel was terrible. I screwed up the first date. But she told me it was really peaceful and so I didn’t think much of it back then. We kept talking over WhatsApp and Instagram for almost another 2 months but we were not in a relationship yet because she said she wanted time and I believed I shouldn’t pressure her so I kept waiting thinking we have all the time in the world. She was an introvert and she didn’t go out much she liked staying at home more and I sort of found this trait cute, although it meant we didn’t get to meet a lot. 2. Dates and Love In the month of June, we went for another date and spoiler alert, this is the day I fell in love with her. We went to watch a movie- Spiderman, into the spider-verse, and to be honest the movie was decently funny and every time Missybusy laughed I looked at her and adored her smile. I noticed she was shivering, she felt cold because the cinema hall was actually very cold so I wrapped my arm around her so she wouldn’t feel cold and she just came closer and the annoying armrest was like a wall in between. In that moment, I made my purest and most honest wish to God (I’m very spiritual and religious). I asked God to always keep Missybusy happy no matter what. After the movie we exited the hall and we were standing near the exit of the mall and just talking and laughing. It was a blissful moment I can never forget that moment ever. She just jokingly pushed me and I literally fell down and I’ve got to say it was funny as hell. And while I was on the ground I saw her laughing so loudly and openly that I… I also fell in love. I was madly in love. We laughed and talked for another half an hour more and then the both of us went home. While on my way to home I realized that I had fallen for her and everything around me felt so soothing, so amazing and I was so happy. This was my favorite day with her and my best day yet. It was perfect, it was divine it was full of amazement and I for the first time felt what is it like to love. One problem I’ve always had is expressing my feelings. I end up thinking what the other person is going to think about my feelings and I’m going to be judged. But I still told her I love you but she hadn’t said it back yet. Another date we went on that she considered her favorite day with me was when we went to have pizzas. At first, we just walked around, talked a lot and laughed together. Held hands and roamed the paths. Then we came across a pizza shop and decided to have some pizza. Oh boy did I know what the day was going to unfold. She has two siblings so she always had been a fast eater when it came to pizzas and ice creams and at that time, I didn’t know that she ate pizzas so quickly. She finished her whole pizzas before I could finish two slices and to be fair, I’ve always been a slow eater and I didn’t eat very spicy food at the time. So, she was done with her pizza way before I had. She added chili flakes to my pizza slice which slowed my pace even more and she just sat there watching me eat and laughed at me while I was just trying my best to eat the pizza. I realized how much she was enjoying this so I just prolonged this whole thing, I ate slower, I made faces and I even called her a bully and she was laughing so much and, in my heart, I enjoyed that so much. I usually don’t allow people to mess with my food but seeing her laugh I just wanted this moment to last forever. A couple of time later, when everyone was busy filling applications for college, one of our friends (let’s call her jane) hosted a birthday party. The plan was that she will invite us all to our house and then from there we’ll go to a restaurant. So Missybusy and I went to buy gift for our friend and we bought two identical plushies for Jane. Anyways, that day was so special. Because when we all went back home and when Missybusy and I were talking over WhatsApp she said ‘I love you’. For the first time ever, I heard it from her, although it was still on text, I was jumping around screaming in joy and a few tears of joy appeared. I was beaming with joy. I was so happy. This should mean we were finally together, right? Nope. Our colleges were about to start soon and we both were enrolled in a different college, she said she wanted to see how our college life is going to affect our relationship. I didn’t think of it much since what could’ve gone wrong? College started and one month in and I could feel the distance increasing between us and she seemed busier than usual obviously but somewhere because of this she wasn’t giving me much time either. It was a Sunday afternoon when I confronted her about this and she seemed to have realized this as well and she said she’s really sorry about all this. But in the end, she said a relationship doesn’t seem possible. I was devastated but I didn’t shout or yell at her I tried to convince her in everyway possible. But it was futile. It seemed impossible to convince her. And the call ended with a goodbye.

1. The real end

Another problem that I had this whole time was not knowing when to give up trying and give up trying to keep her happy instead of myself. One day later she texted me and she asked if we could meet because she believed I deserved a proper goodbye. And I eventually went to meet her the very next day. And we talked a lot. She said she felt really sorry and she told me that I deserved the best. She told me she was overwhelmed by college; she saw so many faces together and it was difficult for her. I was just super sad but anyhow I controlled myself and I didn’t cry in front of her. But she did, she started crying and I couldn’t hold back then, I hugged her and patted her head telling it’s alright. After she stopped crying, she said she’s sorry and she told me she changed her mind, she had some expectations from a relationship and one of them was physical touch and since we lived far from each other that seemed less likely but she said one has to sacrifice something for love, and I was just confused. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I said I’ll let her know. Less than an hour after we went back to our homes, I messaged her saying that I’m ready and I want to be with her. Because I thought God had given us a second chance and I believed that it is very much possible and I shouldn’t take too long to tell her.
Everything was perfect for about a month. It was the month of October; we had a small quarrel over something and the next day I called her to apologize. But something seemed different, something felt off. She said it’s okay but I could feel something was off. The worst day of the year and the worst time of that day. She told me her brother had run away from their house because of something that happened with him and a girl and their family was in a lot of panic, and she was obviously worried and scared. She prayed to God to return her brother and she promised that she will never date someone again. I stood there, without movement, without words and I realized what it had meant. It meant an official goodbye. Breaking up in a way one could never expect. She told me to promise to not tell this reason for breakup to my friends (common friend group). I was the one who was given up. The call ended with both of us saying I love you but for the last time ever. I wasn’t at home; I was outside in a park. I felt as if someone had stabbed me right through the heart. I couldn’t feel the wind anymore. People seemed to have stopped talking. The sky lost its color, the birds stopped chirping. My whole world had come to a pause. I couldn’t think straight. I returned home acting normal. My father had come to visit, he rarely visits the city because him and my mother are separated so I don’t get to see my whole family together often so I didn’t want to spoil it. My mother and sister knew about Missybusy. Later that night I told my mom and sister that we broke up and my mom was worried but I told her to not worry because I was fine and I never told them the actual reason either, I just keep telling them I got bored of her so that they won’t worry about me, besides I had created such a wonderful image of missybusy for them I thought I should let it be that way. I couldn’t tell me friends what had happened, I didn’t tell my mom and sister what actually happened. I just kept it to myself and it hurt. It hurt really bad. I felt as if I had given her my heart and she shattered it and threw it away. I never hated her for it and I always blamed the circumstances.

1. Life goes on

I was broken. And as any person after a breakup felt sad and sorrowful, so did I. But I kept my emotions bottled and never told anyone the actual reason. I did everything possible to keep myself distracted, I played games for many hours in a day, I talked to multiple people at once, I scrolled Instagram for hours and I was even addicted. I was losing control and I was falling in a huge pit. Days went by, I was in a terrible mental state. I attended every meetup possible even the ones I didn’t feel like going to, I was spending money like I was a millionaire or something, and I was running out of it. In the month of December, I went to visit my father and when he went for work I was alone and bored so I re-installed snapchat and just took a snap and sent it to all, I didn’t realize it went to Missybusy as well. She replied to that snap and asked how I am doing and we started a small conversation, we were just catching up and all. I was still in a poor mental state but honestly it just felt good talking to her again. And I asked her one question- “When exactly did you move on” and she replied she hadn’t. I felt bad because I realized it must’ve been difficult for her as well, college was tough for her. She told me she dated someone for two days. I was devastated yet again. So that promise for which we had to break up meant nothing. But for some reason a part of me was relieved anyway because she didn’t deserve all this. But what about me? I felt self-pity at that point honestly. When she was gone, I felt as if a part of me was taken away. I never asked for this and I never thought that I’ll have to go through all this when I first said I love you to her. Although we decided we should keep talking but I just couldn’t, after everything I could not just see her as a friend, I’ll always see her as my first love. I always try my best to smile and fool around my friends because that's who I was before I met her but I didn’t force it back then. When I returned to my city, I knew I couldn’t let these bad habits be my future. I knew what happened with me wasn’t fair but I couldn’t let that destroy my career or life. I started learning new things. I got into the stock market learnt a bit of trading and made good sum of money. I was still playing games and was still somewhat addicted. But slowly but surely, I was recollecting myself. I tried avoiding meetups with my school friends’ group because they always bring up this topic and I just hated that. I wanted peace. No matter how the days went by the night were always difficult, I didn’t hate her but I hated that the thought of her kept coming in my mind. It was always hard to fall asleep.

1. The Present- I’m still not over her completely. A part of me will always have hope for her to come back even though my mind knows otherwise but the heart is just weird. I met my school group friends after a long time and I felt good. There were four of us (Me, Dave and let’s call the other two Bob and Marley). I get along with Marley very well, he has his college in a different city so whenever he comes here, I make sure to meet him separately. When I met Marley, we went to a café just to have food and talk really, he asked me why does no one know the real reason for my and Missybusy's breakup. I just told him that it’s complicated. Then Marley told me that he heard from Bob and Dave that they told him that Missybusy started to like someone else that is why you both broke up. It was unprecedented to me. I felt weird, I felt a weird sting. I went back home and I messaged her to confront about this, I was taken away by my impulses. She assured me that wasn’t it and then we started talking like normal people do, talked about each other’s friends’, each other’s college life and so on. Then she asked if it’s possible to meet because it had been so long! And I was honestly scared to meet her but I just agreed anyway. 30th of may we met at a bowling and pool café. We sat there and talked about each other’s life. And honestly it seemed God did listen to my wish for keeping her happy because she had made good friends at college and obviously, she did have some problems but overall, she did seem happy and I was happy for that. The moment I saw her again after such a long time I realized nothing changed, she was just as pretty, her eyes were glowing just as usual and her fashion game was on the top. We made several eye contacts throughout and I could see a little pain in her eyes. It was the pain of guilt or pain of just losing, I won’t know for sure. When we were talking about our lives and what all had happened in these 7 and a half months, I felt so peaceful inside. But as soon as I mentioned what all I had to go through after out breakup she kept saying sorry and it felt as if I was just there to make her feel sorry. So, I refrained from talking about that. But then what did I have to talk about? Most of these months I had spent in misery and apart from that I told her about the little breakthroughs that I made in the market and I told her how I made some good friends at college. But that was it really. So, she did most of the talking. I was just listening. I didn’t want to talk about what I had to go through all these months because I felt I’ll just pressure her with more guilt. I didn’t come here to meet her and just listen to her saying sorry. I only cared about her smile.

My failure of expressing came back to me, I couldn’t tell her that I still loved her, I couldn’t tell her I still miss her. I just listened to her and laughed with her. She asked me once more before we left the park where we were walking at the moment, can we still we be friends? I was hesitant. But I told her we couldn’t. I told her we won’t be able to give time to this friendship and besides I have my competitive exams in December so I need to focus on that. But that’s just a part of it, I can never view her as my friend but always as the person I loved.
When we exited the park, we were standing near her car (oh she drives great by the way!). I told her to go while I wait for my uber. I pushed her away (not physically), I kept telling her to go away. That was it, no hugs just goodbyes. I wanted to hug her but I didn’t want the part of me that still had hope to grow. As she drove away, I realized in the end, I did end up hurting her by telling her to just go away. I came back home, acted normal as usual. Lied to my mom and sister again and told them the 'meeting was fine but it was boring'. The next day when I was home alone. I burst out crying. I never cried this much before. Only I know what I have lost. I didn’t want the part of me that had hope to grow but I also didn’t want it to just die. I cried for hours until eventually I washed my face and waited for my mom and sister to return. Missybusy was gone. I know what I’ve lost. And I blame myself for it. I can physically feel the pain in my heart at this point. It hurts so much. I wish I never met her after she told me a relationship isn’t possible. I wish I was never in love. I wish I never love again. I wish to be never this vulnerable again. I had gone through so much pain in those months and tried to act normal in front of everyone. I can’t tell how many thoughts crossed my mind daily. I just kept it bottled up within me. In the end I think God doesn’t like my heart. When I was in my mother’s womb it was found that I had a very faint heartbeat. As soon as I was born, I was taken into the ICU for surgery. Five years later it was found I have a low BPM. And so many years later my heart was broken into pieces. God doesn’t like my heart.

The world was dark, there was no sense of touch, and there was nothing to see. A sense of touch manifested, a cold and wet floor could be felt. A sense of hearing developed, a deep ringing could be heard. A sense of thought sprung from a mind. "Where am I?" A sense of sight had been acquired, he was in a room, white as far as the eye could see Movement was now possible as the man stood up, he realized that he was standing on water, so pristine and clear and yet there was no reflection.
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.

I was having chest pain over the last few days so went to a doctor today who cleared me to go home and said nothing bad was going on. Went to sleep then woke up breathless and my heart beat kept speeding up and slowing down and seemed irregular (70-85 BPM). My oxygen was also 95 but then went back up to 99. I hadn't slept at all the last night due to anexiy so my sleep was really disturbed. Is this anexiy or something serious like an arrythmia or sleep apnea?
Age, 28, male

Hello, I am a 26 y/o F with a connective tissue disorder called hypermobile Ehler's-Danlos. It is a genetic condition that causes a plethora of complications (hernias included). On April 18th, I received laparoscopic surgery for bilateral inguinal hernia repair with mesh, and they also found out I have stage 2 Endometriosis (they excised the endo lesions).
It is now June 1st and recovery has been going extremely well. I just got a new job and felt better than I ever had. However, just a couple days ago after doing some squats I became sore in the general area of where my hernia was on my right side. At first I thought it was my period, but I am on birthcontrol and there is no indication of spotting. There is soreness/pain is in my groin area, hip, buttox, lower back, inner thigh, and close to my belly button. It comes in cramps and waves, but it is bearable.
My surgeon told me it was common for a "secondary inflammatory response" to occur weeks or months after surgery. I am just terrified I ruined something about my hernia mesh, or if it's something to do with scar tissue. I have done squats in the past with no issue after recovery, so why is it bothering me now? I'm terrified I will have to have surgery again.
Anyone else experience this a couple months after surgery?

The world was dark, there was no sense of touch, and there was nothing to see. A sense of touch manifested, a cold and wet floor could be felt. A sense of hearing developed, a deep ringing could be heard. A sense of thought sprung from a mind. "Where am I?" A sense of sight had been acquired, he was in a room, white as far as the eye could see Movement was now possible as the man stood up, he realized that he was standing on water, so pristine and clear and yet there was no reflection.
He could hear his heart beating loudly almost like it was going to leap out of his chest for a reason that he did not know.
After a few minutes, when his body calmed down, the ringing brought by the silence was broken by a voice that said: ”Greetings” The voice sounded distorted, like it was from a broken radio. He turned around and then looked in all directions, it was only a white room that seemed to stretch for hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, not a source of the sound was seen. "Hello? ” The man asked. ”Hello, you aren't supposed to be awake right now, but since you are let's have chat” The man observes his surroundings and said "Am I in heaven?" "No" It said The man felt like the voice was in his head, like telepathy.
Before he could ask anything more, darkness rapidly engulfed him, he felt weightless like he was on a rapidly descending plane which made him fall to the ground and pass out.
A conversation could be heard, yet the world was in darkness ”Do you know what to do Su?” a man said ”Yes” a voice replied. ”Then do it.” the man said while a woman was screaming in the distance, another voice could be heard, but it was unintelligible and suddenly, a loud thud echoed as if someone had jumped off a building.
The man woke up and felt a rough and prickly sensation. ”Is this grass?” He said as he opened his eyes he saw that he was in an field with hills as far as he could see the sky was incredibly blue, too blue to look real in fact, it was peaceful, too peaceful.
There was a strange pale yellow, reddish object in the far distance, as the man took a closer look, it was a house with yellow walls and a red roof.
After wandering for a few minutes, he decided to begin to approach the house, but it seemed like the more he walked towards it, the further away the house seemed. After a few hours of walking, the house was entirely gone and suddenly, as if somebody covered the sun, it was pitch black and It felt cold, there was a mysterious singular speck of light seen in the distance, the grass also changed and was just a cold and hard surface. ”Could it be freedom?” He thought as he looked at the speck of light in the distance. After a while in there the man was restless the darkness was sickening, the silence was unsettling the light also flickered until it was gone. ”Any sound or anything would be better than this.” He thought. That thought was wrong, because the darkness would be much better than the things that would happen. The thing that happened was a presence and it was behind him and he froze from just it's presence, it's unimaginable what it would look like.
He suddenly unfroze and ran from it with it's footsteps following, it felt like he would die if he turned around, his legs felt numb but his mind kept pushing through like an instinct of self preservation.
He continued running and running and running for what seem an eternity even when the entity's presence was gone, he continued running even when his energy was utterly depleted. Eventually he reaches the speck of light and it was a window, he stopped and turned around but the being was already gone long ago. He walked closer to the window, but his legs gave way and he slowly fell to the ground panting in exhaustion and darkness consumed him again.
When he was conscious again he was in an extremely dark place and he had a bad headache, it was like his head was going to split A few minutes later his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around and he only realized that it reeked of a rotten smell, most likely rotten meat, he also realizes that he was hanging upside down and tied up he only noticed now because he couldn't think of anything else from so much pain his body was in, he inspected that he was in some sort of shed his light source being an incredibly dim moon through a small window that even disappeared when it was covered by clouds, suddenly he fell to the ground and fortunately he didn't land headfirst.
When he got himself in a sitting position he tried to struggle out of the ties but he didn't feel his arms almost as if he was injected with anesthesia. He concluded that the anesthesia wasn't that strong because he could still feel the rest of his body.
The smell was still there but the clouds had covered the moon so he couldn't see where the smell came, but he was certain it was close to him because of its strength. The moon reappeared and he thought that the smell came from behind him, then he saw- "Ah!" He shouted in horror, it was a pair of dismembered arms, the bones were visible and blood was gushing out. There was a warm feeling on his side, like warm water, the moon passed by and shined brighter and it fully revealed that the warm fluid on his side was... Blood, he was not numb in his arms... because they were no longer there. Because of the overwhelming shock and all the other things that happened, he fainted.
The man woke up again in the white room that he first woke up in, it still felt warm the only thing that changed was that there was a barrier surrounding him and it was quite blurry and behind that was a humanlike figure, that figure was a woman. Because of the barrier the woman was quite hard to see, the way he knew it was a woman was because of her voice.
”You're an interesting fellow.” she said ”Ask away while I process your data, don't make it too long though.” The man thought for a few seconds, thinking what to say and asked ”anything?” ”Not really, but I can still answer most things.” She said ”Then what place is this?” He asked ”An interliminal space known as the testing area” The man thought of another question to ask but before he did the woman said ”The data is done, you may proceed” ”To wher-”
Before he could finish his sentence the seemingly endless white room materialized to what looks like a school ground, it seemed empty and the sky felt oddly artificial.
He went to the gate, it was made of slightly rusty iron and the wall was made of brick. Outside looked like a desolate wasteland but he was quite unsure since it was quite blurry, like there was a barrier. He tried to open the gate but it did not budge and the wall was too high to climb. Then he noticed that the entire place was utterly quiet, almost as if abandoned but the whole place was too clean to be, but not even a chirp of a bird was heard. The man goes to what seems like the dorms, not a soul was there too.
A weight was felt in his pockets, he reached into it and discovered that it was a key that had a tag saying.
”Room 13”
The dorm looked normal, with the exception of looking a bit old but well maintained. He eventually found the room of the correct key and unlocked it.
The room that he thought that was his was actually theirs as he noticed that there was a girl on top of the bed bunk, probably asleep. "That's the first person I've seen in this place." He thought ”The first normal one I guess.”
He approached the bed and sat on the bottom bunk, he felt an intense fatigue and laid on the bed and slept.
A woman and a man could be seen talking, the woman was wearing a sky blue dress that flowed magnificently and the man was covered in a dark miasma ”I have told you, I am not a” -bleep- ”So I am unaffected.” a man said ”Then why do you need a se” -bleep- ”stal?” a woman's voice said There were constant high pitched sounds that bleeped certain words in the conversation. ”Either way I will not give you one.” The woman said. The man withdrew a sword which shattered into hundreds of pieces. ”If you will not give me the crystal, then you are of no use to me.” he said as he pointed the hilt of the sword to her, suddenly the shards vibrated and shot straight towards the woman.
As soon as that happened the world went dark and silent.

Hi,
I am 36M from Turkey. I had Nissen Fundoplication on Dec 2019 and gallbladder removal on May 2020.
I have chronic gastritis. I have been taking PPIs for 12 years.
But last years starting on Jan 2023 PPIs started to stop working. I got occasional burning and sharp pain on my upper abdomen, sometime i feel that on the top center, left or right. But on around Sep 2023 I started to have nausea along with the pain. I started to end up in ER with severe nausea and pain. I visitied ER multiple times, they gave me IV fluids and sent me home. In the meantime I had endoscopy, colonoscopy, CT, MRI, blood tests, stool tests, urine tests, all came back normal. I even saw a psychiatrist, and started on two different antidepressants, but they did not help. I am still having pains ans severe nausea. I can't live my life like this. I am suffering.
Last week I had another endoscopy and this one showed multiple ulcers. That was the first time I had ulcers. The doctor didnt say anything about it but I can see lots of bile liquid in my stomach. Are they supposed to be there? Can someone please see my endoscopy images throught the link below? They are on high def. They should be clear enough. I can see inflammation, ulcers and bile liqueid myself. Is considering bile reflux worth it? I mean, I dont have a gallbladder and PPIs dont work. That fits the profile of bile reflux, right? The images with the bile are below on the list.
Can you please help? I am lost. Please. I am begging.
The link: https://imgur.com/a/Xa152gc
Thank you for your hard work at this field. I appreciate it.

Whenever I close steam vr, my pc freezes for up to 3 seconds while emitting the most painful and loud coil whine. After that everything goes back to normal, the issue is that it happens every time.
This worries me since my last gpu died with an exploded 1R0 coil, wouldn’t want this to happen again.
Does this freeze + loud noise happen to you as well? Am I worried over nothing? Is there something I should do?
Appreciated
R7 5800X Msi 4070 32 gb ddr4 Rog B550-f Quest 2

Hi people. I am 29 and AFAB nonbinary. I am generally very high masking but struggle a lot with communication with allistics. They perceive me as close to normal because of the masking but I find we are often talking past each other (e.g. I can't tell if people I like like me back, I can't tell if people have good intentions or if they are bullying me etc). Are there any communication strategies you use, or alternatively, any communication strategies you ask "the allistics" to use to avoid miscommunications?
I realise this is a very general question, any relevant advice would be appreciated. Also, I'm not saying anyone should have to change their communication style, I am just trying to avoid the genuine pain and sadness that results from miscommunications (e.g. in the does someone like me back example)

Hey, I know this has probably been already commented on extensively but hoping to get an opinion. I've recently stated 10mg rosuvastatin and within 2/3 days developed low back pain, it's annoying, and noticeable but bearable, doesn't stop me exercising. Does this kind of symptom get better as time goes on? What I really want to know is should I admit defeat and switch to another medicine or should I soldier on in the hope it improves? Thanks

My grandmother or abuela is the sweetest lady. She owned the convenience store I helped out at and would always tell me traditional Mexican stories. I never would have thought anything bad about her until the accident. I was about seventeen and had just received my drivers license and somehow, drove my car into the barrier of the highway. My parents would have been furious at me if I hadn’t been injured. It wasn’t anywhere near life-threatening, just a concussion that made me a bit lethargic and nauseous. After I was discharged from the hospital, I had to take this prescription medication to help deal with the pain. One side-effect was it could cause hallucinations, but these were very unlikely to happen so I instantly agreed to take them, thinking that I would much rather a couple of hallucinations than the extreme pain I was feeling.
My first shift back at the convenience store with my abuela, I had my first hallucination. It wasn’t the ‘stereotypical’ hallucination, more as if someone had turned up the volume of the sounds around me. Annoying, but not scary.
My second hallucination a couple weeks later at the convenience store was less so. My abuela was in the back restocking the fridge of the store. She was always stronger than your average 78 year old, surprisingly stronger than me. That was when it happened, the second hallucination. But this was different. Instead, I was in this hallway. It looked like the hallway to the stock room. I stumbled around, confused at the surroundings. “Abuela! Where are you? I’m having another one,” I tried to call out, but it was like my voice went hoarse, unable to speak. I tried to speak again but this time I couldn’t speak at all. I continued walking down the hallway, the tile was darker and covered in dust, like it had been here for much longer than 40 years. “Abuela…?” I managed to call out. I noticed a corner and slowly turned, making sure to not run into something that was actually there. My heart sunk. The same hallway. The same paintings, but slightly distorted. Colours were less saturated, faces were less recognisable. This continued on for around seven more hallways, becoming more and more distorted as I continued on. Every corner I reached, I called out for my abuela, tears welling in my eyes from fear like I was a little girl again.
Then I saw her. She wasn’t right. She looked stripped of emotion, a blank canvas. Like she was a shell of her soul. Just I went to call for her, I was back. I was sitting against the tiled wall of the convenience store. It had been five hours.
I grabbed my backpack and left. I immediately went home, climbing up the fire escape to not wake up my mother. But despite my efforts, she had already been awake, her eyes red from what I assumed was crying.
“Mami? Are you okay?” I asked her, she seemed less inconsolable and more in shock.
“Yes yes. Mija, your abuela is unwell. She cannot remember… a lot. Doctors believe it is dementia.”
My heart sunk. I swear she had been in the restocking room, but what if that was part of the hallucination as well? “I had another hallucination, Mami,” I told her as she grabbed some stuff around the kitchen. She sighed and shook her head, “Valeria, don’t play with me right now, you were off your medication a couple of weeks ago, remember when you had that first hallucination?”
My heartbeat accelerated. I had sworn that I had took that medication the morning of, and that hallucination was real.
I visited my abuela a week later. She didn’t know who I was, she only remembered memories from when she was a young girl. What shocked us the most is that she told us about when she had gone missing. A week she spent in the forest, and anything past that, she didn’t remember.
Maybe I was just scared and dreaded the news that she had dementia, so that night I scoured the internet for what could cause memory loss after an event like that. But without needing to search a single thing, my heart dropped as I remembered a tale my abuela used to tell me. She said it was not a famous Mexican folk tale, mainly in the rural town she grew up in. But La Somba was a creature that could take possession over your memories and life until it took over someone else. It was said to make the person appear normal until it tried to take over someone else. In these cases, the person would appear lifeless, unlike themselves. And the person would be stuck in an eternal maze until La Somba successfully took over their memories
I logged off the computer. My abuela. She was strong because of La Somba. She didn’t have dementia, La Somba took her memories. And I was the next victim. But I was fine? I had full control over all my actions. I tried telling my mother, but she told me to settle down and that I was hurting my family. Abuela has dementia, and that is final. But as I watch my abuela confused in a hospital bed of her surroundings, completely void of any memory, I wonder: How do I know that they haven’t already taken mine?
I’m writing this for my sake. Maybe if I write down this I can remind myself if I do lose my memory. Maybe.

Hi :) i’m 19 and I broke up with my first boyfriend after over 2 years almost a year and a half ago, our relationship was very up and down and hard to put into just one post but we had our issues and differences but overall i don’t think i’ve ever felt more seen by a person, i also cant tell if i’m just thinking about him this way since it’s been so long since the breakup and now i can’t really think about the negatives but i’ve just been really struggling with it.
Even when we broke up i couldn’t manage to delete any pictures or videos i have relating to him or of him because every time i try to i am hit with the worst feelings. The other day i used someone else’s instagram to look at his since i’m blocked (big mistake i know) and I saw him with his new girlfriend and i haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since and how much i do miss him. I’m scared no one will ever see me the way he did, being my first relationship and knowing me from 15 to almost 18 i went through some of the most formative years of my life with him and i really want to be able to let go.
Now I keep having dreams that i’m telling him all about my new life and the tattoos i’ve gotten and this dream has happened multiple times (i’m also on sertraline so my dreams are a little crazy.)
If anyone has gone through something similar or has any good advice I would really appreciate it since i’m ultimately too embarrassed to speak to anyone about this and how i feel since it’s been so long and i know i shouldn’t be feeling this way over someone who caused me so much pain yet made me feel more loved and appreciated than anyone ever has.

I've been experiencing severe neck pain and stiff back for a few days and am looking for a reputable massage therapist who specializes in deep tissue massage to help alleviate the pain. The photos of most places I see on Google Maps give off a shady vibe, so I'm not sure which one to choose. Do you folks have any recommendations?

I am tired of all the tendonitis and back/neck discs i have. Everytime i try to exercise, after a short period of time pain is coming back.
So i have to try a lower resistance training. This is either a negative training or high rep training.
But can you do negatives with resistance bands at all?
Also, do high rep/ low resistance training really work?

I had a date last night with a guy. We agreed to meet at a pizza place at 7. More of a meet & greet, grab a quick bite and see if we click.
Well I get there at 6:55, and he said he's sitting at the bar. I walk over to him, and see a pizza with 2 slices left sitting in front of him. So I asked, "Hey, am I late? I thought we were meeting at 7?"
He responds "OH, I got here early because I thought it would be rude to eat in front of you" 😟 Apparently it's not rude to have the leftovers in front of you though 😒
Not only that, he was extremely awkward and I had to carry our painful 30 min conversation. When he went to the bathroom, I flagged down the bartender to pay for my drink. She knew the drill 😂 told me if I needed help she was watching.
When he came back, I finished my drink and said "well, I'm leaving now it was nice to meet you". He looked shocked! I went to another pizza place because there was no way I was spending any more of my time with this guy.
Maybe he will come across this post and pick up the social cues he needs!

Hey there reddit! So as the title says, I'm 31 and I have dealt with very severe chronic pain for many years. My first memories of having issues with pain are from when I was about 4 and was having back and neck problems and muscle spasms, sometimes even being bad enough that I had to stay home from school.
When I was 10, my back and neck locked up and I ended up having to go to the hospital to get a muscle relaxer shot because I couldn't move my neck or raise my arms. At age 14, I had an injury that caused problems with my sciatic nerve, which later developed into fibromyalgia (apparently certain injuries can trigger fibro to develop). In my early 20's, I was diagnosed with scoliosis (they checked for it in middle school but missed the diagnosis somehow), as well as arthritis in my knees, hands, hips and tailbone. My spine also curves forward, known as kyphosis, in addition to the sideways scoliosis curve.
And to top it all off, I injured my leg when I was 27 which caused nerve damage and what's known as a foot drop. This makes it absolutely exhausting to walk since I have to pick my leg up higher than normal when taking a step to avoid tripping on my own foot.
Those are just a few of my medical issues, there are lots more that I also deal with. So go right ahead and ask me anything!

Ugh. I think I just need some insight, advice, experiences, and support from anyone who’ll give it. I have two female rats who are about 18 months old; I adopted them together. Preface, Maev has had a mass/tumour the size of a grape come up between her back legs on her tummy a few weeks/month ago; it’s not changed since appearing and doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.
The last 48 hours have been interesting so I’ll try my best to not be confusing about the timeline.
Thursday PM - both girls are happy and normal, jumping around, eating treats, not too tolerant of pats as usual and just want my snacks.
Friday AM - Maev is completely normal. Rosie looks worse for ware. Her hips looked all odd, fur was all loose looking, eyes half shut, even saw her kind of drag her back legs once. She kept falling asleep mid way through moving and when trying to clean herself. I thought she wasn’t even going to make it through the day and we had a lot of pats and cuddles (which she usually wouldn’t tolerate) that night before bed because I was certain she wouldn’t make it. She let me pat her and just sat there with her eyes closed. Her feet were very pale and skin had definitely lost a lot of colour. She was just sleeping in her empty tissue box and out on her scarf.
Saturday AM - both rats are still kicking. Rosie seems a bit slow still and I’d moved all their food and etc. to the floor of the cage where they could both reach it because I thought Rosie was having mobility issues and I genuinely thought she would continue to decline rapidly. Though, Rosie was able to pop herself up on a wooden perch/shelf, hop into their (low) hanging hammock house, and continued to eat banana/avo/crackers and have water this whole time. I then noticed that Rosie was bleeding from her anus. Both rats were licking it and trying to clean her up. At that point I had to separate them because the repetitive licking was bound to cause problems quickly and I wasn’t sure if Rosie was in pain by Maev pushing her around to get under her etc. The bleeding was enough to stain the fur around and then a drop every now and again but eventually stopped. Feet/extremities are still pale.
Saturday PM - Rats are still separated - they don’t seem too distressed about this. Rosie has her googly eyes wide open now and isn’t falling asleep mid scratch anymore. She’s jumping up on the perch/shelf to ask for attention and is eating snacks as well as drinking water. She even re arranged her bed scarf how she wanted it and is still able to climb up into the hammock. Feet/extremities are still pale. Doesn’t appear to be bleeding. I can’t put them both in together in case she starts bleeding again. I gave them both a cracker and said goodnight. Rosie is quite sleepy.
My conundrum. If by sheer vigor, Rosie makes it to Monday. Would I be doing the right thing by both rats, to take them to their loving vet, and have them both put to sleep? Rosie is clearly suffering of some kind of internal rupture, but is having a second wind, and one hell of a comeback. They have to be separated because of the potential bleeding. Maev has a mass/tumour. If Maev survives (for now) I’m going to have to go through this with her; she would have to go through this, and I don’t know how she would cope completely alone.
They both are still wanting their snacks and are looking at me with their sweet faces🥺🙆🏼‍♀️
No one prepares you to make these decisions for your pets as an adult.🫣

Have you ever wondered what you can do to get rid of that pesky stomach ache or bloated feeling?
If so, you’re in luck. Today, we’re highlighting some helpful tips that can treat common digestive problems.

7 Natural Gut Health Hacks:

1) Drink Water in the Morning

Drinking water in the morning, especially before eating, can improve your digestion. Water helps break down the food you eat, which allows your body to absorb key nutrients. Drinking water also softens stools and can prevent constipation.
What’s more, drinking water before meals can help you feel fuller and avoid overeating.
Don’t limit your water consumption to one part of the day, though! Sipping water throughout the day can keep you hydrated and support optimal digestion.

2) Chew Your Food Slowly

Chewing your food is the first part of the digestive process. Chewing slowly promotes the breakdown of food into tiny particles. This makes it easier for your body to absorb the nutrients in food.
The production of saliva during chewing also signals the upper muscle in your stomach to relax. This allows food to enter your stomach more easily.
Interestingly, one study found that chewing your food slowly can satisfy hunger cravings and reduce food consumption between meals.
But that’s not all. Chewing your food slowly can also prevent you from swallowing excess air. This is a common cause of bloating.

3) Drink Herbal Teas

Peppermint oil is a natural treatment for:

• Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
• Functional dyspepsia
• Childhood functional abdominal pain
• Post-operative nausea

Peppermint oil relaxes the smooth muscle in the gastrointestinal tract, reduces visceral pain, inhibits the growth of pathogens, and prevents gut inflammation.
Chamomile can treat symptoms of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). In fact, combining chamomile with myrrh and coffee charcoal can extend the remission phase in people with ulcerative colitis. Research shows this herbal blend is just as effective as the drug mesalamines.
Ginger is a popular treatment for:

• Nausea
• Heartburn
• Flatulence
• Diarrhea
• Loss of appetite

Incredibly, ginger has anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, and anticancer properties that may also reduce the risk of gastrointestinal cancers. Studies show that ginger prevents the growth and spread of cancer cells in liver cancer, pancreatic cancer, colorectal cancer, and gastric cancer.

4) Consume Fruit by Itself

Consuming fruit by itself at least an hour before or after a meal can aid digestion and provide your body with a quick source of energy and nutrients. This is because fruit is the fastest digesting food.
Eating fruit with slow-digesting foods such as starches and proteins can slow down the digestive process. This can lead to uncomfortable symptoms such as bloating, indigestion, and flatulence.
However, you can still enjoy fruit with other foods on occasion. Green leafy vegetables also digest more quickly and can be eaten with fruit without any side effects. Being mindful of your food combination choices may help alleviate digestive problems.

5) Eat Fiber-Rich Foods

Eating fiber-rich foods can naturally boost your gut health. Fiber is the indigestible plant material found in fruit, vegetables, legumes, grains, nuts, and seeds.
Fiber bulks up stools and makes them easier to pass. This can normalize bowel movements and prevent both constipation and diarrhea. Adding more fiber-rich foods to your diet can also reduce your risk of the following:

• Diverticulitis
• Hemorrhoids
• Gallstones
• Kidney stones
• Colon cancer
• Acid reflux
• Ulcers.

On Day 4 of a stomach virus and the body is flushing constantly, rapidly. It’s horrible and something to be avoided.
And I realized that down the length of time, the diets that always helped me lose weight- were ones where there were painful flushing side effects.
Example: 2000s On Adkins and enjoyed too many sugar alcohol substitutes causing flushing. Adkins was successful.
Ex: 2005s On Metformin and I ate clean 80% of the time but had a cheat meal- my body would painfully flush that meal.
Similarly, on MJ, initially (first 2 months) whenever I ate something half healthy, my body would flush the item. And I’d drop a pound.
Today on MJ Sept-June I predominately eat clean. Whole Foods. Keto with <20g carbs. Focusing on protein and a veg. AND all weight loss has plateaued. There is no flushing component when I eat healthy. And insulin is stabile. Few side effects while on MJ.
The point, perhaps the side effects (nausea and flushing) cause the weight loss. Perhaps the GI system upset allows us to release weight.
How are your side effects? At your current dose, do you ever flush a meal?

TLDR; My fiancée passed away three days ago after a brutal fight with AML. I'm in pain. Anyone wants to video chat?
Full story:
It took exactly one year from when she got diagnosed.
We're both 27 years old. We've been together for 3 and a half years and started living together within a few months of dating.
I've been present from when she got diagnosed till the moment of the death and everything in between.
We knew from 3 months that there was no hope and we were expecting this anyways but it's a totally different when it actually happened. I'm hurt bad. In pain. Lost appetite. Can’t think about anything else.
But I feel that there's a slight improvement in my mood on a daily basis. I want to overcome this, be happy again and have this as a memory rather than the event that destroyed my future.
She asked me to promise her that I'll do my best to be happy and go on with my life.
My personal life circumstances made the experience very tough for me:

1. This is my first serious relationship and I invested everything into it without any backing up.
2. I'm a foreigner in the country we are living in so I had to deal with all of it while being far from my family and people. Not only this, we moved from the city where I had some connections to her family's city so that we stay closer to them (which helped a lot but left me quite lonely).
3. I'm a digital entrepreneur and had to cope and work (from home) on my business all while dealing with this tragedy.
4. My business was struggling because of AI and had to figure out ways to pivot
5. It's my first time dealing with a serious medical condition, death, funeral, etc.

Anyone has an advice for me? Anyone passed by a similar experience and would like to talk? I'm all ears.
Thanks everyone

I need to pick one by Tuesday, but if anyone has a question comparing the two I can try to answer. I bought the 4090 for the 16GB vram for video game development, but Best Buy incorrectly had the 4090 listed with the IPS display (which I was excited for).
The 4080 has 16GB ram, IPS display 165 Hz 500 nits, and the animatrix back
The 4090 has 32GB ram and miniled display 165 Hz 600 nits
I play games, and the 4080 kills it. I can play Helldivers 2 at 4k with 80% of graphics options set to max and usually get 50 - 60 fps. Some dips to the 40s, but very rare, and usually due to environments, so during fights it's fine. I usually play on difficult 7 or 8, getting 400 - 500 kills a match now.
I bought both open box, although I swear the 4080 was 100% new - everything was sealed.
Battery
The main thing I want is a long battery life in linux. If anyone has a battery life test, lmk. Using GHelper Silent + Eco + 60 Hz + 10% brightness + windows battery saver on both (multi zone off on the 4090), the 4080 discharge seems to be around 6.2 watts with a low of 5.2, while the 4090 discharge is more like 6.8 with a low of 6.2. I might notice this, since most of what I do is edit text. I'm surprised the difference is so high. If you average 9 - 10 watts battery use, it seems like the 4090 is using 0.5 - 1 watt more power -> 6 to 11% more power use -> assuming 8 hours of battery, you get 29 to 48 minutes less battery.
OH! But the 4090 has a 2nd stick of RAM. I'll try another stick in the 4080 and see what happens, but for now I'll assume the miniLED eats less than 25 minutes of battery. Which is "fine", since I usually have a laptop-capable battery bank on me anyways.
I just enabled multi zone, and the discharge of the 4090 has been hovering at 6.2 - 6.5 watts (I'm not using it - just firefox, GHelper, and a settings menu are open). So disabling multi zone seems to have no effect. I'm typing this on the 4080, same things open, and the 4080 is at 6.1 watts.
After finishing writing this review: I've been writing this review and browsing the net a bit on the 4080, and I've only used the 4090 to toggle multizone and move the mouse some, and they are draining at the exact same rate - both are down exactly 20%. So fwiw, the 4080 under light use matches the 4090 at nearly full idle (screen on)
Display
The displays look very similar, honestly. I program in a font size too small for many people to read. I have great vision, and I don't like bright lights, so I thought I'd hate the miniLED blooming. The IPS display has better color accuracy, which is something I notice since I tend to run a solid grey desktop. A solid grey on the miniLED looks liked you washed it with your reds - there's just like other colors mixed in to it (multi zone is disabled atm)
display test: https://www.eizo.be/monitor-test/
I haven't tried games yet, but I might return the miniLED simply on color accuracy. I've been doing more design-heavy web development, and matching colors is a pain, I don't need another variable in that equation. This is weird - on the display test for the full black screen, the mouse cursor becomes a shade of gray.
So - the miniLED does much much closer to black - but it's not able to compensate and make the white mouse cursor white. Very interesting - and kind of amusingly bad. So, you get "blacker blacks" by sacrificing your "whiter whites"? You're not achieving a higher contrast ratio, you're just inverting the problem. Shame I'm not a youtuber so I can't break this news with a spicy title.
When miniLED multi zone is off, the mouse cursor displays fine (white is white, instead of grey). However, greys look much better when multi zone is on.
The miniLED gets a bit brighter, of course, and the colors pop a bit more. The miniLED gets a little dark towards the edges (not evenly lit); the IPS is very evenly lit. I've seen people complain about backlight bleed here, but my panel is near perfect.
The miniLED is less comfortable to look at. Like I said, I don't like bright lights, but even on low brightness the miniLED is less comfortable than the IPS. Maybe this is related to blooming - but tbh, I don't see much blooming - I feel like it's something to do with how the light is emitted. (Or maybe I'm tired and overthinking it.)
I think for pretty games or movies, many people might prefer the miniLED. But for everything else, the IPS is far superior. It's so funny to me now that everyone is complaining about not getting miniLED, when imo it's a bit of a failure that they passed off at a high price. Maybe later generations will be better.
What type of display is this miniLED? Is it also IPS?
I'm leaning heavily towards the 4080 for color accuracy... but I really wanted 16gb vram and 5 more fps in helldivers :( I'm joking about helldivers - I wanted vram for unreal engine, but I don't think I can work with these colors
Apologies for typos. I rewrote parts of this as I went, and I don't feel like spell-checking. And thanks u/ModrnJosh for all the research you've done and shared here.