Paragraphs for your girlfriend
Gifts For Your Girlfriend
2015.03.05 02:13 CanaznFTW Gifts For Your Girlfriend
Don't have a clue what to get your girlfriend for her birthday, Christmas, just cause, or for those awkwardly special moments?? Seek advice here! I've made this subreddit because I have no idea what to get my girlfriend and looking for ideas. Ladies & Gentlemen and every other definition of the genders, what do you recommend? Let's keep it PG-13 for now.
2008.03.03 00:48 /r/dating: vent, discuss, learn!
A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others
2008.03.26 12:33 Geopolitics: Geopolitical news, analysis, & discussion
Geopolitics is focused on the relationship between politics and territory. Through geopolitics we attempt to analyze and predict the actions and decisions of nations, or other forms of political power, by means of their geographical characteristics and location in the world. In a broader sense, geopolitics studies the general relations between countries on a global scale. Here we analyze local events in terms of the bigger, global picture.
2024.06.01 11:10 GunzBlazein180 Crime and Addiction: The story of a rich white crackhead named Amy
You ever met a rich crackhead chick who’s parents bought her and her heroin addicted boyfriend a whole house, a new car, monthly allowance and seen it all come crashing down? This sounds like a fantasy, but it’s actually reality in the streets of Montgomery County, MD. This is the life of a rich crackhead named Amy.
Before I tell you about Amy, we gotta get the background first and go all the way back to 2021(if you want to skip and get right to Amy, just go to paragraph 11/12, but you’ll miss out on a lot). It’s the year 2021, I had just came back a couple months ago from pulling off EDD fraud. One day I was driving drop top mustangs in Malibu, the next I’m seeing my accounts get frozen and my money slowly begin to dwindle down. Before I knew it I was back in DC, broke and back to square one. Now from the time I was in Cali to the time I returned a lot of shit happened. I fell off with a lot of people, so I found myself hanging around an unusual crowd of people, the Bethesda kids.
You see before I dropped out of Towson University, I had met this nigga named LP, he was from Bowie and he went to school out Bethesda, but me and him got along because we had two things in common: we both liked DMV music, and we both liked to party our asses tf off. But that’s a story for another day.
You see LP put me on to a lot of people from Bathesda, I had never really hung around white folks before, and with the connections he gave me i made friends with a couple of crackas and even met my now deceased ex girlfriend. I was going to the craziest white functions and constantly turning up. But I saw more than a chance to have fun, saw this as a money making opportunity🤑 cha ching! And it was through LP that I met some friends who introduced me to a nigga named Swervy.
You see them white folks love to drink beer and smoke weed at parks, so one day I’m meeting up wit one of my good men, Ju. Ju is the typical school shooter typa fella, so it’s no surprise what I saw when I linked up with him at the spot. With him was this long haired European foreign exchange motherfucker whose name I forgot, and this bearded Eastern European nigga named Swervy, and he was wildin the fuck out. Mind you I’m from the projects, and all these bathesda niggas I’m meeting are rich ass motherfuckers who live in multi million dollar mansions. Keep in mind these cats may be rich, but everybody out bathesda is rich so these are basically the rejects. Pretty much the closest thing to a street nigga you can find out there.
As I’m getting introduced to some of these cats, Swervy pulls out a syringe. So I ask “Man wtf is this man doing,” “He’s shooting up fent” casually says Ju. That was the first time I ever witnessed someone shooting up a drug, and it wouldn’t be the last. Swervy would eventually become Amy’s boyfriend. And he was quite the yapper, he’s one of those motherfuckers who peaked in high school, and now he’s just watching his life come spiraling down, at least that is until he meets Amy…
In this meet up I learn a lot about Swervy. He was basically a kingpin at the age of 16-17. He would get shipments of 10’s of thousands of Xanax bars and sell them like hotdogs at a baseball game. These weren’t your regular junkies, these are the children of senators, buisness owners and lawyers. So you didn’t have to worry about a junkie saying he’ll pay you back, money was nothing to these crazy ass white folks. In the midst of all this yapping, I hear something that caught my attention.
“Yea so basically my cousins got like seven pounds of weed and 500gs of thc wax that they’ll give me if I can pick it up, it’s all the way in Arizona” Says Swervy.
🤑🤑🤑Cha mothafucking ching! This was the money I was talking about. Now driving cross country with pounds of weed and concentrate was risky, but shit I’d give my left nutsack for that kind of opportunity. And I might as well have, because a week later I was on my way to Tucson, with this Russian speaking drug addict I had just met the other day. Mind you I’m driving around in a red Lancer, with paper Vermont tags that I had printed online. I might as well Have went up to the police station and asked any of them if they wanted to buy drugs. My young naive dumbass didn’t realize the risk, all I was thinking about was 🤑🤑🤑 cha Ching!
I can sit here all day and tell you about that drive to Arizona, but imma keep it short and simple so we can get to this Amy chick. It was a fucking disaster, but we end up somehow making it back. We got the pounds and the concentrate, but it was all fucking shake! I’d be lucky to sell that shit for $100 a zip. Anyways, the trip opened my eyes to something, this nigga Swervy was a crashout crackhead dummy, and if I continue hanging out with him I was gonna end up dead or in jail. So I begin distancing myself, as I watched this man throw his life away from a far.
Now months go by, and at this point I’m like the street life ain’t for me and I’m working a job, I got a girlfriend and I’m staying low and just cooling it, with these pounds of weed that was so garbage, I was giving it away like charity donations. I had that goodwill pack! Just as things settle down that’s when Swervy comes back in contact with me. You see last time I had linked him, this man was overdosing off fent and we had to drive him to the hospital and save his life. But to my surprise, he was a changed man, or at least that’s what I thought...
He now has this girlfriend and he lives with her in germantown. You see me I’m baffled and curious, what crazy bitch would date this crazy motherfucker who’d probably sell his soul for one shot of heroin? I just had to find out. And when I met Amy I just didn’t know what to say. She was in her 30s and Swervy and me were in our early twenties. Amy was this slim, blonde hair, blue eyed Czechoslovakian chick who stood at about 5’7”. She wasn’t attractive by no means, you can tell the drugs did it’s toll on her, but if you’re drunk enough she can probably look fuckable. She had her degree in psychology from UMBC, but don’t be fooled her brain seemed like it was long fried. A conversation with her felt like a trip to the mental asylum. You will have better luck deciphering ancient Egyptian hyrogriphics before you can make sense of a word she says. Regardless I genuinely tried to get to know her. My guess was at some point in life she must’ve took a full sheet of acid and never recovered since. But she had her own two bedroom condo with a view of Sugarloaf mountain, a Pomeranian dog(which Swervy fucking hated), and a new jeep. So regardless I was impressed this crackhead motherfucker managed to bag her. So I asked him “Where did you find this shawty?” “At a hookah lounge in Rockville” he told me. That’s right folks, a fucking hookah lounge. Boi when I tell you after that, I was hitting up hookah spots like I had season tickets!
So I’m hanging out with them a lot now basically third wheeling, but Germantown was a long ass motherfucking drive, and I lived at the borderline to DC so I would even spend some nights in their guest bedroom. This Amy chick had parents that paid for her gas money and food, they had a fireplace and a balcony. And I can enjoy the comfort of all this as long as I occasionally bring some weed to smoke. And me I’m not one of those leeching ass bums, so the only time I’m hanging out with them is when I’m invited. And I got invited a lot, probably because Amy’s a bit cuukoo and Swervy had either robbed or scared off all his friends from Bathesda. He wanted someone to give him a break from her, a bro he can drink a beer with. So I would often times accompany them. One time we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and as I sit across from both of them Amy begins playing footsies with me under the table. Of course I play it cool. I had no interest in her, mainly because Swervy hits raw and takes hepatitis medication, also having witnessed this man hold a bunch of homeless niggas at gunpoint in broad day light after I lost my phone at this gas station in Arizona. I can only imagine how he would react if he found out I smashed his girl.
A lot of the times I hung out with them, me and Swervy would talk about Amy. You see he’s not the type to hold back certain information, and as he’s telling me about his life and relationship that’s when it hit me. A nigga like me grew up all my life, with the world constantly kicking my ass and in a whole different realm of this life shit, you got these two rich kids who fucked up their life so much with so little consequences it became a culture shock to me. Me I caught a case and felt like my life was over, these two white people are disfunctional jobless drug addicts and they’re living the life I could only dream of having with years of hard work. I began to question the world, how many are there like this? Was my life a joke? I didn’t know where I was going hanging out with them, but if I couldn’t live the good life, I could at least witness it from the front row. I learned one thing about their relationship, Amy was basically getting old and low on options, and her parents supported her. Why? Because she’s not running around getting dicked down by a bunch of drug dealing black men anymore. Here they see this young white man, who’s also Eastern European who makes their highly mentally damaged daughter feel secure. And Swervy could win an Oscar, I mean what a fucking performance! One second he goes from Angus Cloud on Euphoria, the next a good suburban white kid the second he meets her parents. In fact he had convinced them that he was such a good man, even went to family gatherings and all, that they decided, let’s just buy them a full blown house.
That’s right, a FULL FUCKING HOUSE. I’m talking about a three story townhouse in Germantown, with a fully furnished basement, a patio, a balcony, a grill, 4 bedrooms, a 70 inch television, a paid off brand new fully insured jeep, they’re talking about trips to Italy. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Fool, are we living in a simulation? I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Swervy had pulled off the ultimate finesse. He convinced this rich family that he was the one for their daughter. And the most hilarious thing about it is that he was no better than a crackhead heroin junkie you can find panhandling for money on the street. I couldn’t even be envious, no instead I had felt something inside of me, this sort of toxic motivation. I learned that you didn’t have to work hard in this life, you didn’t have to earn your living, no instead one day God can just drop this lonely damaged woman who’s family is fucking loaded right on your fucking lap. He was even talking about marrying her and having her kids. In fact he tried, but see he had a problem. His sailors couldn’t fucking swim. Maybe it was all the crack, cocaine and heroine. He was having trouble producing fertile sperm, and Amy was running out of time! And that was the peak of their relationship. He was this close to closing the deal, but when it was game time he fell short. All it is now is one of those memories in your head that’ll have you like “damn, what if…” almost like when you reminisce on a football game thinking about how things could’ve been different if that one play went right.
Look I’ll be honest, I sugarcoated a lot of things. They may have lived in a world of handouts, but that relationship was more toxic than a nuclear wasteland. There’s a lot of fucked up details that I’m choosing to leave out, the psychical and mental abuse from both sides, the drug use. He was a psychopath and she was controlling and halfway demented. There’s a saying “opposites attract” and these two motherfuckers were far from it. They were two trains headed on a full on collision, so it was only a matter of time before disaster struck, and boy did it strike. Within a year I had witnessed a once fun relationship, become episodes of Shameless. At one point we fell off, I don’t remember exactly why, probably because I was tired of constantly being involved in their nasty games, and once again I distanced myself from Swervy.
The last I heard of Amy, she had kicked Swervy out the house and he caught her giving the sloppy toppy at a local park to 3 guys. Some hoodlum niggas, and a skater dude with a face tatt. The last time I seen Swervy he was arms dealing and one day pulled out an AR-15 on me and threatened to shoot me. I heard he’s now locked up currently awaiting trial because he broke into her home. I have a feeling one day I’ll see him on the news with a crazy headline.
Anyways if you’re a real mothafucka, you made it all the way here. If you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions ask away. If you didn’t feel like reading all that shit then fuck you bitch!
submitted by GunzBlazein180 to stories [link] [comments]
Before I tell you about Amy, we gotta get the background first and go all the way back to 2021(if you want to skip and get right to Amy, just go to paragraph 11/12, but you’ll miss out on a lot). It’s the year 2021, I had just came back a couple months ago from pulling off EDD fraud. One day I was driving drop top mustangs in Malibu, the next I’m seeing my accounts get frozen and my money slowly begin to dwindle down. Before I knew it I was back in DC, broke and back to square one. Now from the time I was in Cali to the time I returned a lot of shit happened. I fell off with a lot of people, so I found myself hanging around an unusual crowd of people, the Bethesda kids.
You see before I dropped out of Towson University, I had met this nigga named LP, he was from Bowie and he went to school out Bethesda, but me and him got along because we had two things in common: we both liked DMV music, and we both liked to party our asses tf off. But that’s a story for another day.
You see LP put me on to a lot of people from Bathesda, I had never really hung around white folks before, and with the connections he gave me i made friends with a couple of crackas and even met my now deceased ex girlfriend. I was going to the craziest white functions and constantly turning up. But I saw more than a chance to have fun, saw this as a money making opportunity🤑 cha ching! And it was through LP that I met some friends who introduced me to a nigga named Swervy.
You see them white folks love to drink beer and smoke weed at parks, so one day I’m meeting up wit one of my good men, Ju. Ju is the typical school shooter typa fella, so it’s no surprise what I saw when I linked up with him at the spot. With him was this long haired European foreign exchange motherfucker whose name I forgot, and this bearded Eastern European nigga named Swervy, and he was wildin the fuck out. Mind you I’m from the projects, and all these bathesda niggas I’m meeting are rich ass motherfuckers who live in multi million dollar mansions. Keep in mind these cats may be rich, but everybody out bathesda is rich so these are basically the rejects. Pretty much the closest thing to a street nigga you can find out there.
As I’m getting introduced to some of these cats, Swervy pulls out a syringe. So I ask “Man wtf is this man doing,” “He’s shooting up fent” casually says Ju. That was the first time I ever witnessed someone shooting up a drug, and it wouldn’t be the last. Swervy would eventually become Amy’s boyfriend. And he was quite the yapper, he’s one of those motherfuckers who peaked in high school, and now he’s just watching his life come spiraling down, at least that is until he meets Amy…
In this meet up I learn a lot about Swervy. He was basically a kingpin at the age of 16-17. He would get shipments of 10’s of thousands of Xanax bars and sell them like hotdogs at a baseball game. These weren’t your regular junkies, these are the children of senators, buisness owners and lawyers. So you didn’t have to worry about a junkie saying he’ll pay you back, money was nothing to these crazy ass white folks. In the midst of all this yapping, I hear something that caught my attention.
“Yea so basically my cousins got like seven pounds of weed and 500gs of thc wax that they’ll give me if I can pick it up, it’s all the way in Arizona” Says Swervy.
🤑🤑🤑Cha mothafucking ching! This was the money I was talking about. Now driving cross country with pounds of weed and concentrate was risky, but shit I’d give my left nutsack for that kind of opportunity. And I might as well have, because a week later I was on my way to Tucson, with this Russian speaking drug addict I had just met the other day. Mind you I’m driving around in a red Lancer, with paper Vermont tags that I had printed online. I might as well Have went up to the police station and asked any of them if they wanted to buy drugs. My young naive dumbass didn’t realize the risk, all I was thinking about was 🤑🤑🤑 cha Ching!
I can sit here all day and tell you about that drive to Arizona, but imma keep it short and simple so we can get to this Amy chick. It was a fucking disaster, but we end up somehow making it back. We got the pounds and the concentrate, but it was all fucking shake! I’d be lucky to sell that shit for $100 a zip. Anyways, the trip opened my eyes to something, this nigga Swervy was a crashout crackhead dummy, and if I continue hanging out with him I was gonna end up dead or in jail. So I begin distancing myself, as I watched this man throw his life away from a far.
Now months go by, and at this point I’m like the street life ain’t for me and I’m working a job, I got a girlfriend and I’m staying low and just cooling it, with these pounds of weed that was so garbage, I was giving it away like charity donations. I had that goodwill pack! Just as things settle down that’s when Swervy comes back in contact with me. You see last time I had linked him, this man was overdosing off fent and we had to drive him to the hospital and save his life. But to my surprise, he was a changed man, or at least that’s what I thought...
He now has this girlfriend and he lives with her in germantown. You see me I’m baffled and curious, what crazy bitch would date this crazy motherfucker who’d probably sell his soul for one shot of heroin? I just had to find out. And when I met Amy I just didn’t know what to say. She was in her 30s and Swervy and me were in our early twenties. Amy was this slim, blonde hair, blue eyed Czechoslovakian chick who stood at about 5’7”. She wasn’t attractive by no means, you can tell the drugs did it’s toll on her, but if you’re drunk enough she can probably look fuckable. She had her degree in psychology from UMBC, but don’t be fooled her brain seemed like it was long fried. A conversation with her felt like a trip to the mental asylum. You will have better luck deciphering ancient Egyptian hyrogriphics before you can make sense of a word she says. Regardless I genuinely tried to get to know her. My guess was at some point in life she must’ve took a full sheet of acid and never recovered since. But she had her own two bedroom condo with a view of Sugarloaf mountain, a Pomeranian dog(which Swervy fucking hated), and a new jeep. So regardless I was impressed this crackhead motherfucker managed to bag her. So I asked him “Where did you find this shawty?” “At a hookah lounge in Rockville” he told me. That’s right folks, a fucking hookah lounge. Boi when I tell you after that, I was hitting up hookah spots like I had season tickets!
So I’m hanging out with them a lot now basically third wheeling, but Germantown was a long ass motherfucking drive, and I lived at the borderline to DC so I would even spend some nights in their guest bedroom. This Amy chick had parents that paid for her gas money and food, they had a fireplace and a balcony. And I can enjoy the comfort of all this as long as I occasionally bring some weed to smoke. And me I’m not one of those leeching ass bums, so the only time I’m hanging out with them is when I’m invited. And I got invited a lot, probably because Amy’s a bit cuukoo and Swervy had either robbed or scared off all his friends from Bathesda. He wanted someone to give him a break from her, a bro he can drink a beer with. So I would often times accompany them. One time we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and as I sit across from both of them Amy begins playing footsies with me under the table. Of course I play it cool. I had no interest in her, mainly because Swervy hits raw and takes hepatitis medication, also having witnessed this man hold a bunch of homeless niggas at gunpoint in broad day light after I lost my phone at this gas station in Arizona. I can only imagine how he would react if he found out I smashed his girl.
A lot of the times I hung out with them, me and Swervy would talk about Amy. You see he’s not the type to hold back certain information, and as he’s telling me about his life and relationship that’s when it hit me. A nigga like me grew up all my life, with the world constantly kicking my ass and in a whole different realm of this life shit, you got these two rich kids who fucked up their life so much with so little consequences it became a culture shock to me. Me I caught a case and felt like my life was over, these two white people are disfunctional jobless drug addicts and they’re living the life I could only dream of having with years of hard work. I began to question the world, how many are there like this? Was my life a joke? I didn’t know where I was going hanging out with them, but if I couldn’t live the good life, I could at least witness it from the front row. I learned one thing about their relationship, Amy was basically getting old and low on options, and her parents supported her. Why? Because she’s not running around getting dicked down by a bunch of drug dealing black men anymore. Here they see this young white man, who’s also Eastern European who makes their highly mentally damaged daughter feel secure. And Swervy could win an Oscar, I mean what a fucking performance! One second he goes from Angus Cloud on Euphoria, the next a good suburban white kid the second he meets her parents. In fact he had convinced them that he was such a good man, even went to family gatherings and all, that they decided, let’s just buy them a full blown house.
That’s right, a FULL FUCKING HOUSE. I’m talking about a three story townhouse in Germantown, with a fully furnished basement, a patio, a balcony, a grill, 4 bedrooms, a 70 inch television, a paid off brand new fully insured jeep, they’re talking about trips to Italy. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Fool, are we living in a simulation? I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Swervy had pulled off the ultimate finesse. He convinced this rich family that he was the one for their daughter. And the most hilarious thing about it is that he was no better than a crackhead heroin junkie you can find panhandling for money on the street. I couldn’t even be envious, no instead I had felt something inside of me, this sort of toxic motivation. I learned that you didn’t have to work hard in this life, you didn’t have to earn your living, no instead one day God can just drop this lonely damaged woman who’s family is fucking loaded right on your fucking lap. He was even talking about marrying her and having her kids. In fact he tried, but see he had a problem. His sailors couldn’t fucking swim. Maybe it was all the crack, cocaine and heroine. He was having trouble producing fertile sperm, and Amy was running out of time! And that was the peak of their relationship. He was this close to closing the deal, but when it was game time he fell short. All it is now is one of those memories in your head that’ll have you like “damn, what if…” almost like when you reminisce on a football game thinking about how things could’ve been different if that one play went right.
Look I’ll be honest, I sugarcoated a lot of things. They may have lived in a world of handouts, but that relationship was more toxic than a nuclear wasteland. There’s a lot of fucked up details that I’m choosing to leave out, the psychical and mental abuse from both sides, the drug use. He was a psychopath and she was controlling and halfway demented. There’s a saying “opposites attract” and these two motherfuckers were far from it. They were two trains headed on a full on collision, so it was only a matter of time before disaster struck, and boy did it strike. Within a year I had witnessed a once fun relationship, become episodes of Shameless. At one point we fell off, I don’t remember exactly why, probably because I was tired of constantly being involved in their nasty games, and once again I distanced myself from Swervy.
The last I heard of Amy, she had kicked Swervy out the house and he caught her giving the sloppy toppy at a local park to 3 guys. Some hoodlum niggas, and a skater dude with a face tatt. The last time I seen Swervy he was arms dealing and one day pulled out an AR-15 on me and threatened to shoot me. I heard he’s now locked up currently awaiting trial because he broke into her home. I have a feeling one day I’ll see him on the news with a crazy headline.
Anyways if you’re a real mothafucka, you made it all the way here. If you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions ask away. If you didn’t feel like reading all that shit then fuck you bitch!
2024.06.01 05:36 Ambitious-Active-853 Tips on Dating, Self-Acceptance, and Empathy from a Bisexual Man
Earlier today someone on this sub made a post about his struggles to date as a bisexual man and even though I responded to his post, I feel like I had a lot more to say on the topic. Hopefully he sees this post and finds it useful, however if he doesn't I think this advice would be good for other bisexual men and/or straight men to hear.
In his original post (linked here) OP outlines a few problems he has as a bisexual man. I'll try to paraphrase in this list:
Let's deal with some things on this list. Many of the comments on the original post turned into a discourse on women and whether or not they like "feminine men" but I don't think that's appropriate or useful and that's not where I want to go here. If you try to change yourself and how you like to express yourself for the perceived acceptance of others, even if you "win" you still lose, because ultimately you aren't being who you want to be. I don't think I present that feminine, but when I met my ex-girlfriend, she actually thought I was gay at first, and when we started dating, she called me her "little gay boyfriend" until I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. There are definitely women out there who will not only date and accept but EMBRACE "zesty" men, you just have to own that part of yourself and be confident.
The second item on the list is much harder and it's something that may always be a struggle. Identities are imperfect and often binary and when you're bisexual it can often feel like you bounce from one "camp" to the other. Biphobia is definitely a thing in straight and gay spaces (more on this later). Also, nonbinary people feel the same way but with fitting in with men or women, biracial people can feel the same way about fitting in with their mom or dads ethnicity/culture, and there's probably a lot of other people that feel the same way about whatever group they're a part of. Identities are often generalized and binary (introvert or extrovert, gay or straight, liberal or conservative) but each individual is particular. You are the only YOU.
OP's third point about gay men and straight women not liking feminine men I think was dealt with two paragraphs ago so I'm going to adjust this point a little bit and talk about biphobia. In both of my past long term relationships (gay man and straight women) the anxiety that I'm secretly really attracted to the other gender and just 'experimenting' with [insert gender] was present and caused friction in both relationships. Fear of your partner finding someone else more attractive is an insecurity that everyone faces in relationships but when you're bisexual and your partner isn't, it can be extra hard for them and we should have space for empathy there. Part of being in a relationship is being able to soothe your partner's insecurities so you should just let them know that you like them for them. Maybe not the most complex or insightful answer but it's true.
Let's use an analogy to drive the point home: lets say you're 5'11 and your girlfriend's ex was 6'5, you might be insecure about that, or you work one type of job and lead one kind of life (healthcare, sober, responsible) and your girlfriend's last partner was different (artist, pothead, risk-taker) - you might naturally feel some anxiety that, thinking to yourself "well she really likes that type of person and I'm just a phase" but that's your brain playing tricks on you because she's with you, not them. Now imagine if her ex was the complete opposite gender as you. If you aren't really secure in yourself (and you don't understand being bisexual) that might cause a lot of insecurity.
I remember my ex-boyfriend asking things like "how would you rate her attractiveness vs his attractiveness" (with the guy being an obvious proxy for himself). Or my ex-girlfriend after sex asking something like "how does that compare with being with a guy?" or more crude questions and I'd feel really uncomfortable and put on the spot. That's just the reality and it's something that you'll have to deal with as a bisexual man. One way to circumvent all of this is to date someone also bisexual, but you can't always control who you end up with.
Now, about OP's "net negative" dating experience with women. I don't want to say too much becuase I don't want to generalize about women (and it's nearing the end of Friday and thus the relationship post deadline). What I will say is that women face a lot of unique challenges while dating which can make them more risk-averse (and for good reason) so one thing I've noticed as a bi guy is that my options are much more plentiful with men than women, however the women I've seen are typically much more serious and/or relationship oriented than the men.
What may be worth interrogating is why do you specifically want to date a woman and not a man? What I would focus on is just looking for a loving caring partner where you feel valued and respected, and that can be anyone... However... I do understand that desire as well. In the past I've tried to keep my "ratio" of men-women fairly even because of a fear of being "too gay" or something and that's something I'm having to unlearn. It can be tempting to desire a straight relationship for the benefits of heteronormativity. Bisexual women I know have told me that they just date men and "play with girls" because wlw relationships are often not seen as real.
^ just something to think about
---
Hopefully this has all been helpful to OP, other bisexual men, or other members of this community. I'm going to bed now.
If any straight men in the community or anyone else has questions about being bisexual I'd be happy to answer! (in the morning)
EDIT: The post kept getting deleted and I don't know what the problem is/was so I marked it as NSFW and personal improvement.
submitted by Ambitious-Active-853 to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
In his original post (linked here) OP outlines a few problems he has as a bisexual man. I'll try to paraphrase in this list:
- OP worries women won't like that he presents feminine.
- OP feels like he does not fit in with straight or LGBT spaces.
- Many gay men and straight women "don't find feminine men attractive" (according to OP)
- These perceptions have caused OP some self-esteem and self worth issues, going on to detail a "net negative" dating experience with women.
Let's deal with some things on this list. Many of the comments on the original post turned into a discourse on women and whether or not they like "feminine men" but I don't think that's appropriate or useful and that's not where I want to go here. If you try to change yourself and how you like to express yourself for the perceived acceptance of others, even if you "win" you still lose, because ultimately you aren't being who you want to be. I don't think I present that feminine, but when I met my ex-girlfriend, she actually thought I was gay at first, and when we started dating, she called me her "little gay boyfriend" until I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. There are definitely women out there who will not only date and accept but EMBRACE "zesty" men, you just have to own that part of yourself and be confident.
The second item on the list is much harder and it's something that may always be a struggle. Identities are imperfect and often binary and when you're bisexual it can often feel like you bounce from one "camp" to the other. Biphobia is definitely a thing in straight and gay spaces (more on this later). Also, nonbinary people feel the same way but with fitting in with men or women, biracial people can feel the same way about fitting in with their mom or dads ethnicity/culture, and there's probably a lot of other people that feel the same way about whatever group they're a part of. Identities are often generalized and binary (introvert or extrovert, gay or straight, liberal or conservative) but each individual is particular. You are the only YOU.
OP's third point about gay men and straight women not liking feminine men I think was dealt with two paragraphs ago so I'm going to adjust this point a little bit and talk about biphobia. In both of my past long term relationships (gay man and straight women) the anxiety that I'm secretly really attracted to the other gender and just 'experimenting' with [insert gender] was present and caused friction in both relationships. Fear of your partner finding someone else more attractive is an insecurity that everyone faces in relationships but when you're bisexual and your partner isn't, it can be extra hard for them and we should have space for empathy there. Part of being in a relationship is being able to soothe your partner's insecurities so you should just let them know that you like them for them. Maybe not the most complex or insightful answer but it's true.
Let's use an analogy to drive the point home: lets say you're 5'11 and your girlfriend's ex was 6'5, you might be insecure about that, or you work one type of job and lead one kind of life (healthcare, sober, responsible) and your girlfriend's last partner was different (artist, pothead, risk-taker) - you might naturally feel some anxiety that, thinking to yourself "well she really likes that type of person and I'm just a phase" but that's your brain playing tricks on you because she's with you, not them. Now imagine if her ex was the complete opposite gender as you. If you aren't really secure in yourself (and you don't understand being bisexual) that might cause a lot of insecurity.
I remember my ex-boyfriend asking things like "how would you rate her attractiveness vs his attractiveness" (with the guy being an obvious proxy for himself). Or my ex-girlfriend after sex asking something like "how does that compare with being with a guy?" or more crude questions and I'd feel really uncomfortable and put on the spot. That's just the reality and it's something that you'll have to deal with as a bisexual man. One way to circumvent all of this is to date someone also bisexual, but you can't always control who you end up with.
Now, about OP's "net negative" dating experience with women. I don't want to say too much becuase I don't want to generalize about women (and it's nearing the end of Friday and thus the relationship post deadline). What I will say is that women face a lot of unique challenges while dating which can make them more risk-averse (and for good reason) so one thing I've noticed as a bi guy is that my options are much more plentiful with men than women, however the women I've seen are typically much more serious and/or relationship oriented than the men.
What may be worth interrogating is why do you specifically want to date a woman and not a man? What I would focus on is just looking for a loving caring partner where you feel valued and respected, and that can be anyone... However... I do understand that desire as well. In the past I've tried to keep my "ratio" of men-women fairly even because of a fear of being "too gay" or something and that's something I'm having to unlearn. It can be tempting to desire a straight relationship for the benefits of heteronormativity. Bisexual women I know have told me that they just date men and "play with girls" because wlw relationships are often not seen as real.
^ just something to think about
---
Hopefully this has all been helpful to OP, other bisexual men, or other members of this community. I'm going to bed now.
If any straight men in the community or anyone else has questions about being bisexual I'd be happy to answer! (in the morning)
EDIT: The post kept getting deleted and I don't know what the problem is/was so I marked it as NSFW and personal improvement.
2024.06.01 02:07 GunzBlazein180 Story time 🗣️: The life of a rich white crack head named Amy
You ever met a rich crackhead bitch who’s parents bought her and her heroin addicted boyfriend a whole house, a new car, monthly allowance and seen it all come crashing down? This sounds like a fantasy, but it’s actually reality in the streets of Montgomery County, . This is the life of a rich crackhead named Amy.
Now I know a lot of you niggas don’t be wanting to read long ass shit, so imma warn you ahead of time, I’ll be putting a lot of effort in this post. So if you’re an illiterate ass nigga, u might as well leave now. Before I tell you about Amy, we gotta get the background first and go all the way back to 2021(if you want to skip and get right to Amy, just go to paragraph 11/12, but you’ll miss out on a lot). It’s the year 2021, I had just came back a couple months ago from pulling off EDD fraud. One day I was driving drop top mustangs in Malibu, the next I’m seeing my accounts get frozen and my money slowly begin to dwindle down. Before I knew it I was back in the dmv, broke and back to square one. Now from the time I was in Cali to the time I returned a lot of shit happened. I fell off with a lot of people, so I found myself hanging around an unusual crowd of people, the Bethesda kids.
You see before I dropped out of Towson University, I had met this nigga named LP, he was from Bowie and he went to school out Bethesda, but me and him got along because we had two things in common: we both liked DMV music, and we both liked to party our asses tf off. But that’s a story for another day.
You see LP put me on to a lot of people from Bathesda, I had never really hung around white folks before, and with the connections he gave me i made friends with a couple of crackas and even met my now deceased ex girlfriend. I was going to the craziest white functions and constantly turning up. But I saw more than a chance to have fun, saw this as a money making opportunity🤑 cha ching! And it was through LP that I met some friends who introduced me to a nigga named Swervy.
You see them white folks love to drink beer and smoke weed at parks, so one day I’m meeting up wit one of my good men, Ju. Ju is the typical school shooter typa fella, so it’s no surprise what I saw when I linked up with him at the spot. With him was this long haired European foreign exchange motherfucker whose name I forgot, and this bearded Eastern European nigga named Swervy, and he was wildin the fuck out. Mind you I’m from the projects, and all these bathesda niggas I’m meeting are rich ass motherfuckers who live in multi million dollar mansions. Keep in mind these cats may be rich, but everybody out bathesda is rich so these are basically the rejects. Pretty much the closest thing to a street nigga you can find out there.
As I’m getting introduced to some of these cats, Swervy pulls out a syringe. So I ask “Man wtf is this man doing,” “He’s shooting up fent” casually says Ju. That was the first time I ever witnessed someone shooting up a drug, and it wouldn’t be the last. Swervy would eventually become Amy’s boyfriend. And he was quite the yapper, he’s one of those motherfuckers who peaked in high school, and now he’s just watching his life come spiraling down, at least that is until he meets Amy…
In this meet up I learn a lot about Swervy. He was basically a kingpin at the age of 16-17. He would get shipments of 10’s of thousands of Xanax bars and sell them like hotdogs at a baseball game. These weren’t your regular junkies, these are the children of senators, buisness owners and lawyers. So you didn’t have to worry about a junkie saying he’ll pay you back, money was nothing to these crazy ass white folks. In the midst of all this yapping, I hear something that caught my attention.
“Yea so basically my cousins got like seven pounds of weed and 500gs of thc wax that they’ll give me if I can pick it up, it’s all the way in Arizona” Says Swervy.
🤑🤑🤑Cha mothafucking ching! This was the money I was talking about. Now driving cross country with pounds of weed and concentrate was risky, but shit I’d give my left nutsack for that kind of opportunity. And I might as well have, because a week later I was on my way to Tucson, with this Russian speaking drug addict I had just met the other day. Mind you I’m driving around in a red Lancer, with paper Vermont tags that I had printed online. I might as well Have went up to the police station and asked any of them if they wanted to buy drugs. My young naive dumbass didn’t realize the risk, all I was thinking about was 🤑🤑🤑 cha Ching!
I can sit here all day and tell you about that drive to Arizona, but imma keep it short and simple so we can get to this Amy chick. It was a fucking disaster, but we end up somehow making it back. We got the pounds and the concentrate, but it was all fucking shake! I’d be lucky to sell that shit for $100 a zip. Anyways, the trip opened my eyes to something, this nigga Swervy was a crashout crackhead dummy, and if I continue hanging out with him I was gonna end up dead or in jail. So I begin distancing myself, as I watched this man throw his life away from a far.
Now months go by, and at this point I’m like the street life ain’t for me and I’m working a job, I got a girlfriend and I’m staying low and just cooling it, with these pounds of weed that was so garbage, I was giving it away like charity donations. I had that goodwill pack! Just as things settle down that’s when Swervy comes back in contact with me. You see last time I had linked him, this man was overdosing off fent and we had to drive him to the hospital and save his life. But to my surprise, he was a changed man, or at least that’s what I thought...
He now has this girlfriend and he lives with her in germantown. You see me I’m baffled and curious, what crazy bitch would date this crazy motherfucker who’d probably sell his soul for one shot of heroin? I just had to find out. And when I met Amy I just didn’t know what to say. She was in her 30s and Swervy and me were in our early twenties. Amy was this slim, blonde hair, blue eyed Czechoslovakian chick who stood at about 5’7”. She wasn’t attractive by no means, you can tell the drugs did it’s toll on her, but if you’re drunk enough she can probably look fuckable. She had her degree in psychology from UMBC, but don’t be fooled her brain seemed like it was long fried. A conversation with her felt like a trip to the mental asylum. You will have better luck deciphering ancient Egyptian hyrogriphics before you can make sense of a word she says. Regardless I genuinely tried to get to know her. My guess was at some point in life she must’ve took a full sheet of acid and never recovered since. But she had her own two bedroom condo with a view of Sugarloaf mountain, a Pomeranian dog(which Swervy fucking hated), and a new jeep. So regardless I was impressed this crackhead motherfucker managed to bag her. So I asked him “Where did you find this shawty?” “At a hookah lounge in Rockville” he told me. That’s right folks, a fucking hookah lounge. Boi when I tell you after that, I was hitting up hookah spots like I had season tickets!
So I’m hanging out with them a lot now basically third wheeling, but Germantown was a long ass motherfucking drive, and I lived at the borderline to DC so I would even spend some nights in their guest bedroom. This Amy chick had parents that paid for her gas money and food, they had a fireplace and a balcony. And I can enjoy the comfort of all this as long as I occasionally bring some weed to smoke. And me I’m not one of those leeching ass bums, so the only time I’m hanging out with them is when I’m invited. And I got invited a lot, probably because Amy’s a bit cuukoo and Swervy had either robbed or scared off all his friends from Bathesda. He wanted someone to give him a break from her, a bro he can drink a beer with. So I would often times accompany them. One time we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and as I sit across from both of them Amy begins playing footsies with me under the table. Of course I play it cool. I had no interest in her, mainly because Swervy hits raw and takes hepatitis medication, also having witnessed this man hold a bunch of homeless niggas at gunpoint in broad day light after I lost my phone at this gas station in Arizona. I can only imagine how he would react if he found out I smashed his girl.
A lot of the times I hung out with them, me and Swervy would talk about Amy. You see he’s not the type to hold back certain information, and as he’s telling me about his life and relationship that’s when it hit me. A nigga like me grew up all my life, with the world constantly kicking my ass and in a whole different realm of this life shit, you got these two rich kids who fucked up their life so much with so little consequences it became a culture shock to me. Me I caught a case and felt like my life was over, these two white people are disfunctional jobless drug addicts and they’re living the life I could only dream of having with years of hard work. I began to question the world, how many are there like this? Was my life a joke? I didn’t know where I was going hanging out with them, but if I couldn’t live the good life, I could at least witness it from the front row. I learned one thing about their relationship, Amy was basically getting old and low on options, and her parents supported her. Why? Because she’s not running around getting dicked down by a bunch of drug dealing black men anymore. Here they see this young white man, who’s also Eastern European who makes their highly mentally damaged daughter feel secure. And Swervy could win an Oscar, I mean what a fucking performance! One second he goes from Angus Cloud on Euphoria, the next a good suburban white kid the second he meets her parents. In fact he had convinced them that he was such a good man, even went to family gatherings and all, that they decided, let’s just buy them a full blown house.
That’s right, a FULL FUCKING HOUSE. I’m talking about a three story townhouse in Germantown, with a fully furnished basement, a patio, a balcony, a grill, 4 bedrooms, a 70 inch television, a paid off brand new fully insured jeep, they’re talking about trips to Italy. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Fool, are we living in a simulation? I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Swervy had pulled off the ultimate finesse. He convinced this rich family that he was the one for their daughter. And the most hilarious thing about it is that he was no better than a crackhead heroin junkie you can find panhandling for money on the street. I couldn’t even be envious, no instead I had felt something inside of me, this sort of toxic motivation. I learned that you didn’t have to work hard in this life, you didn’t have to earn your living, no instead one day God can just drop this lonely damaged woman who’s family is fucking loaded right on your fucking lap. He was even talking about marrying her and having her kids. In fact he tried, but see he had a problem. His sailors couldn’t fucking swim. Maybe it was all the crack, cocaine and heroine. He was having trouble producing fertile sperm, and Amy was running out of time! And that was the peak of their relationship. He was this close to closing the deal, but when it was game time he fell short. All it is now is one of those memories in your head that’ll have you like “damn, what if…” almost like when you reminisce on a football game thinking about how things could’ve been different if that one play went right.
Look I’ll be honest, I sugarcoated a lot of things. They may have lived in a world of handouts, but that relationship was more toxic than a nuclear wasteland. There’s a lot of fucked up details that I’m choosing to leave out, the psychical and mental abuse from both sides, the drug use. He was a psychopath and she was controlling and halfway demented. There’s a saying “opposites attract” and these two motherfuckers were far from it. They were two trains headed on a full on collision, so it was only a matter of time before disaster struck, and boy did it strike. Within a year I had witnessed a once fun relationship, become episodes of Shameless. At one point we fell off, I don’t remember exactly why, probably because I was tired of constantly being involved in their nasty games, and once again I distanced myself from Swervy.
The last I heard of Amy, she had kicked Swervy out the house and he caught her giving the sloppy toppy at a local park to 3 guys. Some hoodlum niggas, and a skater dude with a face tatt. The last time I seen Swervy he was arms dealing and one day pulled out an AR-15 on me and threatened to shoot me. I heard he’s now locked up currently awaiting trial because he broke into her home. I have a feeling one day I’ll see him on the news with a crazy headline.
Anyways if you’re a real mothafucka, you made it all the way here. If you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions ask away. If you didn’t feel like reading all that shit then fuck you bitch!
Edit: 😂apparently it’s a small world an a few of y’all know the people I’m talking about and updated me on swervys situation. He’s now out on bail awaiting trial.
submitted by GunzBlazein180 to TheCapitalLink [link] [comments]
Now I know a lot of you niggas don’t be wanting to read long ass shit, so imma warn you ahead of time, I’ll be putting a lot of effort in this post. So if you’re an illiterate ass nigga, u might as well leave now. Before I tell you about Amy, we gotta get the background first and go all the way back to 2021(if you want to skip and get right to Amy, just go to paragraph 11/12, but you’ll miss out on a lot). It’s the year 2021, I had just came back a couple months ago from pulling off EDD fraud. One day I was driving drop top mustangs in Malibu, the next I’m seeing my accounts get frozen and my money slowly begin to dwindle down. Before I knew it I was back in the dmv, broke and back to square one. Now from the time I was in Cali to the time I returned a lot of shit happened. I fell off with a lot of people, so I found myself hanging around an unusual crowd of people, the Bethesda kids.
You see before I dropped out of Towson University, I had met this nigga named LP, he was from Bowie and he went to school out Bethesda, but me and him got along because we had two things in common: we both liked DMV music, and we both liked to party our asses tf off. But that’s a story for another day.
You see LP put me on to a lot of people from Bathesda, I had never really hung around white folks before, and with the connections he gave me i made friends with a couple of crackas and even met my now deceased ex girlfriend. I was going to the craziest white functions and constantly turning up. But I saw more than a chance to have fun, saw this as a money making opportunity🤑 cha ching! And it was through LP that I met some friends who introduced me to a nigga named Swervy.
You see them white folks love to drink beer and smoke weed at parks, so one day I’m meeting up wit one of my good men, Ju. Ju is the typical school shooter typa fella, so it’s no surprise what I saw when I linked up with him at the spot. With him was this long haired European foreign exchange motherfucker whose name I forgot, and this bearded Eastern European nigga named Swervy, and he was wildin the fuck out. Mind you I’m from the projects, and all these bathesda niggas I’m meeting are rich ass motherfuckers who live in multi million dollar mansions. Keep in mind these cats may be rich, but everybody out bathesda is rich so these are basically the rejects. Pretty much the closest thing to a street nigga you can find out there.
As I’m getting introduced to some of these cats, Swervy pulls out a syringe. So I ask “Man wtf is this man doing,” “He’s shooting up fent” casually says Ju. That was the first time I ever witnessed someone shooting up a drug, and it wouldn’t be the last. Swervy would eventually become Amy’s boyfriend. And he was quite the yapper, he’s one of those motherfuckers who peaked in high school, and now he’s just watching his life come spiraling down, at least that is until he meets Amy…
In this meet up I learn a lot about Swervy. He was basically a kingpin at the age of 16-17. He would get shipments of 10’s of thousands of Xanax bars and sell them like hotdogs at a baseball game. These weren’t your regular junkies, these are the children of senators, buisness owners and lawyers. So you didn’t have to worry about a junkie saying he’ll pay you back, money was nothing to these crazy ass white folks. In the midst of all this yapping, I hear something that caught my attention.
“Yea so basically my cousins got like seven pounds of weed and 500gs of thc wax that they’ll give me if I can pick it up, it’s all the way in Arizona” Says Swervy.
🤑🤑🤑Cha mothafucking ching! This was the money I was talking about. Now driving cross country with pounds of weed and concentrate was risky, but shit I’d give my left nutsack for that kind of opportunity. And I might as well have, because a week later I was on my way to Tucson, with this Russian speaking drug addict I had just met the other day. Mind you I’m driving around in a red Lancer, with paper Vermont tags that I had printed online. I might as well Have went up to the police station and asked any of them if they wanted to buy drugs. My young naive dumbass didn’t realize the risk, all I was thinking about was 🤑🤑🤑 cha Ching!
I can sit here all day and tell you about that drive to Arizona, but imma keep it short and simple so we can get to this Amy chick. It was a fucking disaster, but we end up somehow making it back. We got the pounds and the concentrate, but it was all fucking shake! I’d be lucky to sell that shit for $100 a zip. Anyways, the trip opened my eyes to something, this nigga Swervy was a crashout crackhead dummy, and if I continue hanging out with him I was gonna end up dead or in jail. So I begin distancing myself, as I watched this man throw his life away from a far.
Now months go by, and at this point I’m like the street life ain’t for me and I’m working a job, I got a girlfriend and I’m staying low and just cooling it, with these pounds of weed that was so garbage, I was giving it away like charity donations. I had that goodwill pack! Just as things settle down that’s when Swervy comes back in contact with me. You see last time I had linked him, this man was overdosing off fent and we had to drive him to the hospital and save his life. But to my surprise, he was a changed man, or at least that’s what I thought...
He now has this girlfriend and he lives with her in germantown. You see me I’m baffled and curious, what crazy bitch would date this crazy motherfucker who’d probably sell his soul for one shot of heroin? I just had to find out. And when I met Amy I just didn’t know what to say. She was in her 30s and Swervy and me were in our early twenties. Amy was this slim, blonde hair, blue eyed Czechoslovakian chick who stood at about 5’7”. She wasn’t attractive by no means, you can tell the drugs did it’s toll on her, but if you’re drunk enough she can probably look fuckable. She had her degree in psychology from UMBC, but don’t be fooled her brain seemed like it was long fried. A conversation with her felt like a trip to the mental asylum. You will have better luck deciphering ancient Egyptian hyrogriphics before you can make sense of a word she says. Regardless I genuinely tried to get to know her. My guess was at some point in life she must’ve took a full sheet of acid and never recovered since. But she had her own two bedroom condo with a view of Sugarloaf mountain, a Pomeranian dog(which Swervy fucking hated), and a new jeep. So regardless I was impressed this crackhead motherfucker managed to bag her. So I asked him “Where did you find this shawty?” “At a hookah lounge in Rockville” he told me. That’s right folks, a fucking hookah lounge. Boi when I tell you after that, I was hitting up hookah spots like I had season tickets!
So I’m hanging out with them a lot now basically third wheeling, but Germantown was a long ass motherfucking drive, and I lived at the borderline to DC so I would even spend some nights in their guest bedroom. This Amy chick had parents that paid for her gas money and food, they had a fireplace and a balcony. And I can enjoy the comfort of all this as long as I occasionally bring some weed to smoke. And me I’m not one of those leeching ass bums, so the only time I’m hanging out with them is when I’m invited. And I got invited a lot, probably because Amy’s a bit cuukoo and Swervy had either robbed or scared off all his friends from Bathesda. He wanted someone to give him a break from her, a bro he can drink a beer with. So I would often times accompany them. One time we were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and as I sit across from both of them Amy begins playing footsies with me under the table. Of course I play it cool. I had no interest in her, mainly because Swervy hits raw and takes hepatitis medication, also having witnessed this man hold a bunch of homeless niggas at gunpoint in broad day light after I lost my phone at this gas station in Arizona. I can only imagine how he would react if he found out I smashed his girl.
A lot of the times I hung out with them, me and Swervy would talk about Amy. You see he’s not the type to hold back certain information, and as he’s telling me about his life and relationship that’s when it hit me. A nigga like me grew up all my life, with the world constantly kicking my ass and in a whole different realm of this life shit, you got these two rich kids who fucked up their life so much with so little consequences it became a culture shock to me. Me I caught a case and felt like my life was over, these two white people are disfunctional jobless drug addicts and they’re living the life I could only dream of having with years of hard work. I began to question the world, how many are there like this? Was my life a joke? I didn’t know where I was going hanging out with them, but if I couldn’t live the good life, I could at least witness it from the front row. I learned one thing about their relationship, Amy was basically getting old and low on options, and her parents supported her. Why? Because she’s not running around getting dicked down by a bunch of drug dealing black men anymore. Here they see this young white man, who’s also Eastern European who makes their highly mentally damaged daughter feel secure. And Swervy could win an Oscar, I mean what a fucking performance! One second he goes from Angus Cloud on Euphoria, the next a good suburban white kid the second he meets her parents. In fact he had convinced them that he was such a good man, even went to family gatherings and all, that they decided, let’s just buy them a full blown house.
That’s right, a FULL FUCKING HOUSE. I’m talking about a three story townhouse in Germantown, with a fully furnished basement, a patio, a balcony, a grill, 4 bedrooms, a 70 inch television, a paid off brand new fully insured jeep, they’re talking about trips to Italy. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Fool, are we living in a simulation? I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Swervy had pulled off the ultimate finesse. He convinced this rich family that he was the one for their daughter. And the most hilarious thing about it is that he was no better than a crackhead heroin junkie you can find panhandling for money on the street. I couldn’t even be envious, no instead I had felt something inside of me, this sort of toxic motivation. I learned that you didn’t have to work hard in this life, you didn’t have to earn your living, no instead one day God can just drop this lonely damaged woman who’s family is fucking loaded right on your fucking lap. He was even talking about marrying her and having her kids. In fact he tried, but see he had a problem. His sailors couldn’t fucking swim. Maybe it was all the crack, cocaine and heroine. He was having trouble producing fertile sperm, and Amy was running out of time! And that was the peak of their relationship. He was this close to closing the deal, but when it was game time he fell short. All it is now is one of those memories in your head that’ll have you like “damn, what if…” almost like when you reminisce on a football game thinking about how things could’ve been different if that one play went right.
Look I’ll be honest, I sugarcoated a lot of things. They may have lived in a world of handouts, but that relationship was more toxic than a nuclear wasteland. There’s a lot of fucked up details that I’m choosing to leave out, the psychical and mental abuse from both sides, the drug use. He was a psychopath and she was controlling and halfway demented. There’s a saying “opposites attract” and these two motherfuckers were far from it. They were two trains headed on a full on collision, so it was only a matter of time before disaster struck, and boy did it strike. Within a year I had witnessed a once fun relationship, become episodes of Shameless. At one point we fell off, I don’t remember exactly why, probably because I was tired of constantly being involved in their nasty games, and once again I distanced myself from Swervy.
The last I heard of Amy, she had kicked Swervy out the house and he caught her giving the sloppy toppy at a local park to 3 guys. Some hoodlum niggas, and a skater dude with a face tatt. The last time I seen Swervy he was arms dealing and one day pulled out an AR-15 on me and threatened to shoot me. I heard he’s now locked up currently awaiting trial because he broke into her home. I have a feeling one day I’ll see him on the news with a crazy headline.
Anyways if you’re a real mothafucka, you made it all the way here. If you read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the story, if you have any questions ask away. If you didn’t feel like reading all that shit then fuck you bitch!
Edit: 😂apparently it’s a small world an a few of y’all know the people I’m talking about and updated me on swervys situation. He’s now out on bail awaiting trial.
2024.06.01 01:37 ChosenWritings [F4F] Where Vampires Reign and Humans Grovel [Advanced]
Please read the post in its entirety. The possible plots listed are merely ideas. I'd love to brainstorm and expand on the plots below or come up with different ideas for our characters.
Dismantling The Vampiric Regime:
Magic is a plague on the earth. Humans despise the unknown and often turn on the few who possess such talents. Muse A has kept her abilities a secret, living in relative isolation before she steps out into the political arena after volunteering to be the annual sacrifice to Muse B, her vampiric overlord. Muse A has no intention of being a willing lamb to the slaughter, however. She’s determined to dismantle the system that sees humans as cattle and vampires as civilized aristocrats.
The Rise of a New Creature:
Muse A, a human scientist obsessed with the supernatural, and Muse B, a vampire queen ruling over her domain with an iron fist, find themselves drawn together when a new species of supernatural creatures begins to emerge, threatening the delicate balance of power in their world. As the creatures grow increasingly aggressive and unpredictable, Muse A and Muse B reluctantly work together to investigate the source of the creatures’ origins and find a way to contain the threat before it spirals out of control.
Immortal Enemies:
Two ancient beings—an elven sorcerer and a vampire noblewoman—have been locked in a centuries-old feud. Neither remembers why they hate the other, but they simply do. Time and time again, they attempt to kill the other, and yet they never seem to succeed. As the centuries pass, they begin to look forward to the next scheme, often resorting to trickery rather than true attempts to end the other’s life for their existence would be dull without their beloved rival.
~*~
A little about me. I've been writing for nine years (give or take). My passion for fantasy and dark themes is unending—if you want me to like you, come with a fucked up plot. Magic is never required, but highly encouraged. While I have premade plots above, I’m always interested in what your thoughts are! Don’t like any of them? No worries. We’ll come up with something better. :)
If we decide we'd be good partners, I'd love to brainstorm a plot and characters with you. If you’re curious to see what my writing style is like feel free to look at my profile. I’ve recently begun a challenge where I (try) to write a short story every day, so there is quite a bit of material for you to peruse through if you’d like.
Please note, I only write on Discord.
But before we get to the fun bit, here are some things to note:
If you're interested, I’d love to hear from you. I look forward to getting to know you and developing our story together <3 Have a wonderful day.
submitted by ChosenWritings to roleplaying [link] [comments]
Dismantling The Vampiric Regime:
Magic is a plague on the earth. Humans despise the unknown and often turn on the few who possess such talents. Muse A has kept her abilities a secret, living in relative isolation before she steps out into the political arena after volunteering to be the annual sacrifice to Muse B, her vampiric overlord. Muse A has no intention of being a willing lamb to the slaughter, however. She’s determined to dismantle the system that sees humans as cattle and vampires as civilized aristocrats.
The Rise of a New Creature:
Muse A, a human scientist obsessed with the supernatural, and Muse B, a vampire queen ruling over her domain with an iron fist, find themselves drawn together when a new species of supernatural creatures begins to emerge, threatening the delicate balance of power in their world. As the creatures grow increasingly aggressive and unpredictable, Muse A and Muse B reluctantly work together to investigate the source of the creatures’ origins and find a way to contain the threat before it spirals out of control.
Immortal Enemies:
Two ancient beings—an elven sorcerer and a vampire noblewoman—have been locked in a centuries-old feud. Neither remembers why they hate the other, but they simply do. Time and time again, they attempt to kill the other, and yet they never seem to succeed. As the centuries pass, they begin to look forward to the next scheme, often resorting to trickery rather than true attempts to end the other’s life for their existence would be dull without their beloved rival.
~*~
A little about me. I've been writing for nine years (give or take). My passion for fantasy and dark themes is unending—if you want me to like you, come with a fucked up plot. Magic is never required, but highly encouraged. While I have premade plots above, I’m always interested in what your thoughts are! Don’t like any of them? No worries. We’ll come up with something better. :)
If we decide we'd be good partners, I'd love to brainstorm a plot and characters with you. If you’re curious to see what my writing style is like feel free to look at my profile. I’ve recently begun a challenge where I (try) to write a short story every day, so there is quite a bit of material for you to peruse through if you’d like.
Please note, I only write on Discord.
But before we get to the fun bit, here are some things to note:
- I only play female characters. If romance is involved, I will only accept Female x Female/Nonbinary/Trans
- I only play in the third person and ask that my partner do as well. I prefer past tense but don't mind present.
- Longer responses are always encouraged. I don't expect a novel, but to keep things interesting, I enjoy 3-14 paragraphs depending on the situation.
- I am in university. My schedule is rather inconsistent, but I will always let you know ahead of time if I'll be gone for more than a couple of days. But if you feel like I've forgotten about you or our plot, please don't hesitate to reach out.
- OOC discussions are my favorite. I love squealing over our characters' interactions and brainstorming. However, that being said, I don't share personal information and I would ask the same of my partner.
- I do NOT write smut. Any steamy scenes will fade to black, but I am happy to entertain romance between characters.
- Minors—all main characters must be 20+
- Fandoms, I prefer to make our own world. The two exceptions I'm willing to make is for ATLA or LOK
- Wrestling
- Self-harm (this is acceptable if it is a part of your character's back story)
- Overly anxious characters
- Mutilation (this is something I'm willing to talk about in PM)
- Controlling my character.
- Ignoring what I write. Everyone has their moments where they miss a detail here and there, but if you're outright ignoring what I put in my response all the time (especially if I bring it to your attention), our plot will be put on the "respond last" list.
- Ghosting. If there's something you don't enjoy or if you've lost interest, please tell me. I'm happy to make adjustments or wish you well. Don't be immature. I will always let you know if I feel that the plot, our writing styles, or something else isn't working for me.
- Overpowered characters. Nothing makes me lose interest faster than a character who somehow always has a solution to a problem OR a character who can't handle not having the upper hand.
- Text talk within your writing. However, I don't care if you do it OOC.
If you're interested, I’d love to hear from you. I look forward to getting to know you and developing our story together <3 Have a wonderful day.
2024.05.31 21:46 pickleddcherries Intersectionality with women. We are half the Proletariat.
I already know I'm going to get flamed in a hot second, but especially online leftist spaces need to hear this.
Marxist intersectionality means keeping class struggle as the core of our analyses, but also analyzing the surrounding flesh such as race, gender, queerness, etc etc. We don't do identity politics that are unproductive and class unconscious, but to assume that everyone across the proletariat has the same experiences or experiences the same degree of oppression in day to day life is obviously incorrect as well.
The posts that attract the most negative attention are posts I do on intersectional analyses. And the ones that get the most heat of all are ones that are intersectional with feminism. Some people are really shameless and just call me a man hater and that "but it's not all men" and yell about me being class unconscious because my entire analysis wasn't based solely on class. In all my analyses, I make sure to address intersectional analyses and crosshairs of oppression while making sure to channel everything through a class conscious Marxist lens. But it doesn't matter. If I talk about feminism and the intersectional struggles of women or criticize men across the political spectrum, it's automatically infighting or class unconscious. Sometimes they say this by saying "where's the class" (when it's literally so explicit in sections of my writing) and if they wanna be fancy they'll go with calling me liberal propaganda and neoliberal propaganda because apparently any attention towards intersectional issues is a disgrace to the working class movement.
Somebody is gonna jump up and be like you just don't accept criticism, and that's frankly not true and you can see me responding to genuine criticism. Under my post about deprogramming for baby leftists, I offered a take on the Russo-Ukraine war, and there were differing viewpoints in the comments, I ultimately decided I knew far less than I should and edited out the initial section of my post while making it clear I'm happy to communicate about my initial take and have conversations, I read all the critiques and had productive conversations from comrades along many perspectives, and dug deeper into the issue. The reason why men want to say I just can't take criticism is because they don't realize women deal with this stuff every. single. day. We. can. tell. when it's bad faith. Even if you preface it with a "oh I don't mean this badly buuut" we can tell. Your way of saying "this is falling into liberalism" or "you can't take criticism" is equivalent to saying you're too sensitive. I'm not too sensitive, we're (women) aren't too sensitive, you're just being insensitive.
A few exceptions of women especially on like social media do sometimes misuse words like mansplaining, but how incels spin it is by making the whole thing seem illegitimate, so when mansplaining actually occurs irl they can just dismiss it easily without realizing why their behavior is wrong or ignorant. You don't have to write essays on why I need to make sure I'm keeping myself in line or whatever. Also, there's this weird cross between ageism and sexism, and ageism goes bad for women in particular because it's a sibling to the infantilization of women. When people don't like these kinds of pieces I write, they immediately go to "you're too young to know better" and even worse, they go for "you're too much of a young girl to know better." It's this way of particularly portraying teen girls as ditzy and sometimes like a bimbo. You may not be trying to portray that, but your words do not live in a societal or social vacuum. We as revolutionaries condemn ageism and the day-old narrative that students and the youth are too inmature to be very political. Ageism is reactionary.
Of course I should be open to criticism and grow from criticism, but [a] just because you're not hurling blatant insults at me doesn't mean your comment is incapable of being in bad faith [b] claiming I can't be posting here my pieces because the ideas are more underdeveloped is... weird. I'm not publishing to a big source, I'm very open that these are just my own analyses and ideas and I'm open to critiques, and that I'm just trying to grow and learn as a Marxist. But apparently either I shouldn't do that at all or just be constantly insecure and unconfident. We all cringe at our first writing pieces. Be kind. We all start somewhere, would you prefer baby leftists to quietly concoct their ideas and grow on the sidelines and ask for help in a hushed voice and not be posting their rants and writings until they're "developed enough" or a "good enough socialist"?
Calling my posts a "16 year old's emotional diary entry" is both ageist and sexist. Again, you may not have intended it that way, but the usage of the word "diary" is a reflection of how society infantilizes women for many exploitative reasons and automatically disregards girl teenhood and our political voices. Saying that I'm not "Korean enough", now that is separatism and reactionary infighting. Being Korean can help me comment on certain things with more experience, but at the end of the day how much you know about something isn't about how much of that identity you fall into, it's about how much you know and are willing to grow. We're internationalists.
Calling my intersectionality pieces "identity politics" either means you did not read the entire piece or missed the very obvious connections back to class struggle. Disregarding any connection to my personal experiences and saying my writing is invalid because it's too "emotionally charged" (extra points if they mention "16 yEaR oLd giRL") is no different than how men have often called women too emotional. Women's emotions do not hinder my/our intelligence, they strengthen it.
We are ALL privileged in some way. For example, yes I am bi, poc (Korean), and female, BUT I am also cis, come from a middle class background, live in an affluent area, and live in the imperial core. I am open for criticism to those parts of me and how they inevitably will impact my actions, and I am also willing to learn more about the struggles of people who do not have those privileges. I expect the same from my comrades. I try my best to be patient and kind and have empathy and respond to everybody with thoughtful concern, but I can only gentle parent men so much. Women are tired, we are so fucking tired of being expected for generations to be the mother, the housewife, the housekeeper, the second income source, the maid, the nurse, the wife, the girlfriend, the trophy, pure then the sex doll then a virgin then a toy, we are so tired from being undermined in our careers to being undermined by our boyfriends and husbands to being undermined by random strangers, we are tired and I have all the empathy in the world for all my comrades but there is a line for me and other women, and you are not entitled to our patience forever.
There's also a weird hypocrisy of being mad at mentions of my own personal experiences but also disregarding my writings by saying "well I haven't seen that happen/experienced that." Why the double standard? Why do you automatically disregard or disbelieve me?
Also, I don't just read theory and post stuff online. I'm a high school student who is also an agitator. I mobilize with PSL, I'm very active with PSL, I help to organize, I've done public speaking from speeches to even poetry (mainly for Palestine nowadays), I'm in the streets every single week there is a protest, I have been on a local panel for socialism and Palestine, I do shit. All of this while keeping straight A's in school. I may not have the perfect understanding of theory or be a perfect socialist, but I'm trying I'm going out I'm organizing, I'm not going to be told by men who don't even know me that I'm not doing enough or that I'm not good enough.
I am a Marxist but I am also a feminist. And we're here to fucking stay. The revolution would be nothing without us, be introspective, criticize yourself, be your biggest and kindest critic, be kind to others, don't assume that just because you aren't using shameless insults that your massive paragraphs can't be equally insulting, and realize that women are half the proletariat, this movement is not taking flight without us and our liberation matters. Our ideas, our growth, our desire for knowledge, our opinions, and our experiences matter.
To tie it back to Marxism/class: Marxist intersectionality means focusing on class as the core struggle and understanding, without being reductionist, that many of our behaviors/situations are directly caused or impacted by our material conditions and that class struggle is the uniting form of oppression across the entire working class under the bourgeoisie, WHILE ALSO acknowledging that not all experiences within the working class are the same, that there are many systems of repression and bigotry that keep us divided and keep some of our comrades in heavier chains than others, chains that often cross in intersections. A Black worker will not have the same experiences as a white worker, a cishet worker will not have the same experiences as a queer worker, a female worker will not have the same experiences as a male worker. The goal is to address these forms of oppression through intersectional, international, and revolutionary means, acknowledging class as the ultimate root while acknowledging the very nuanced and niche oppressions that exist across this class. Feminism is crucial to socialism, liberal feminism is not real feminism and is capitalism in lipstick. Real, revolutionary, Marxist feminism is class conscious and seeks for female liberation in a way that will benefit working class women and workers across the proletariat including men. Intersectionality with women is important, and especially with women of color. Under capitalism we are literal commodities and means of production. That is why our reproductive rights are constantly being attacked and why we are objectified to hell.
Finally, I've had many conversations with other women who are very feminist, but aren't socialists. When I ask them why they aren't socialists, they say they often feel left out in most socialist discourse, that theory feels class reductionist, and they feel a lack of intersectional solidarity. Do I believe that Marxism or socialism are class reductionist? Absolutely not. Intersectionality was always important to Marxism. Are some (italicized) of you guys acting reductionist and some (italicized) even straight-up harassing potential comrades? Yes. I often have conversations with these women about revolutionary feminism, Marxist feminism vs liberal feminism, and they are very receptive, kind, and open minded. They haven't dug deeper on socialism because they are so frequently pushed out of these spaces or see other women being pushed out. I say hell no to that, I'm standing right here and firm as stone. We have a space here too.
I am generally very open to criticism, but I stand on business with everything I said in this post. I will be respectful, polite, and try to respond with as much empathy as possible, but I will not be giving bad faith posts (again, bad faith doesn't necessarily mean piles of insults, it can be displayed as a backhanded paragraph framed as good faith criticism) my time of day. I. am. human. Women are human. We have our limits. And in this current system, they're constantly getting pushed. Like how younger generations are showing that we're taking less and less shit from our bosses in the workplace, this generation is also done with taking shit from misogyny and men who exhibit misogyny (even if unintentional). We don't hate you if you are willing to accept criticism, be introspective, and learn. But we are done with taking this shit. This is the new generation, we are revolutionaries, and we'll be your grateful comrades if you let us.
Edit: I forgot to mention that women are also capable to some extent of doing the things I've criticized, internalized misogyny is a real thing we all struggle with. Let's treat our sisters with kindness.
On that note, I'm going to be writing another praxis post later today about how Orwell is used as a weapon for indoctrination in American schools, so stay tuned for that if you want :) thanks comrades! The future is proletariat!
submitted by pickleddcherries to TheDeprogram [link] [comments]
Marxist intersectionality means keeping class struggle as the core of our analyses, but also analyzing the surrounding flesh such as race, gender, queerness, etc etc. We don't do identity politics that are unproductive and class unconscious, but to assume that everyone across the proletariat has the same experiences or experiences the same degree of oppression in day to day life is obviously incorrect as well.
The posts that attract the most negative attention are posts I do on intersectional analyses. And the ones that get the most heat of all are ones that are intersectional with feminism. Some people are really shameless and just call me a man hater and that "but it's not all men" and yell about me being class unconscious because my entire analysis wasn't based solely on class. In all my analyses, I make sure to address intersectional analyses and crosshairs of oppression while making sure to channel everything through a class conscious Marxist lens. But it doesn't matter. If I talk about feminism and the intersectional struggles of women or criticize men across the political spectrum, it's automatically infighting or class unconscious. Sometimes they say this by saying "where's the class" (when it's literally so explicit in sections of my writing) and if they wanna be fancy they'll go with calling me liberal propaganda and neoliberal propaganda because apparently any attention towards intersectional issues is a disgrace to the working class movement.
Somebody is gonna jump up and be like you just don't accept criticism, and that's frankly not true and you can see me responding to genuine criticism. Under my post about deprogramming for baby leftists, I offered a take on the Russo-Ukraine war, and there were differing viewpoints in the comments, I ultimately decided I knew far less than I should and edited out the initial section of my post while making it clear I'm happy to communicate about my initial take and have conversations, I read all the critiques and had productive conversations from comrades along many perspectives, and dug deeper into the issue. The reason why men want to say I just can't take criticism is because they don't realize women deal with this stuff every. single. day. We. can. tell. when it's bad faith. Even if you preface it with a "oh I don't mean this badly buuut" we can tell. Your way of saying "this is falling into liberalism" or "you can't take criticism" is equivalent to saying you're too sensitive. I'm not too sensitive, we're (women) aren't too sensitive, you're just being insensitive.
A few exceptions of women especially on like social media do sometimes misuse words like mansplaining, but how incels spin it is by making the whole thing seem illegitimate, so when mansplaining actually occurs irl they can just dismiss it easily without realizing why their behavior is wrong or ignorant. You don't have to write essays on why I need to make sure I'm keeping myself in line or whatever. Also, there's this weird cross between ageism and sexism, and ageism goes bad for women in particular because it's a sibling to the infantilization of women. When people don't like these kinds of pieces I write, they immediately go to "you're too young to know better" and even worse, they go for "you're too much of a young girl to know better." It's this way of particularly portraying teen girls as ditzy and sometimes like a bimbo. You may not be trying to portray that, but your words do not live in a societal or social vacuum. We as revolutionaries condemn ageism and the day-old narrative that students and the youth are too inmature to be very political. Ageism is reactionary.
Of course I should be open to criticism and grow from criticism, but [a] just because you're not hurling blatant insults at me doesn't mean your comment is incapable of being in bad faith [b] claiming I can't be posting here my pieces because the ideas are more underdeveloped is... weird. I'm not publishing to a big source, I'm very open that these are just my own analyses and ideas and I'm open to critiques, and that I'm just trying to grow and learn as a Marxist. But apparently either I shouldn't do that at all or just be constantly insecure and unconfident. We all cringe at our first writing pieces. Be kind. We all start somewhere, would you prefer baby leftists to quietly concoct their ideas and grow on the sidelines and ask for help in a hushed voice and not be posting their rants and writings until they're "developed enough" or a "good enough socialist"?
Calling my posts a "16 year old's emotional diary entry" is both ageist and sexist. Again, you may not have intended it that way, but the usage of the word "diary" is a reflection of how society infantilizes women for many exploitative reasons and automatically disregards girl teenhood and our political voices. Saying that I'm not "Korean enough", now that is separatism and reactionary infighting. Being Korean can help me comment on certain things with more experience, but at the end of the day how much you know about something isn't about how much of that identity you fall into, it's about how much you know and are willing to grow. We're internationalists.
Calling my intersectionality pieces "identity politics" either means you did not read the entire piece or missed the very obvious connections back to class struggle. Disregarding any connection to my personal experiences and saying my writing is invalid because it's too "emotionally charged" (extra points if they mention "16 yEaR oLd giRL") is no different than how men have often called women too emotional. Women's emotions do not hinder my/our intelligence, they strengthen it.
We are ALL privileged in some way. For example, yes I am bi, poc (Korean), and female, BUT I am also cis, come from a middle class background, live in an affluent area, and live in the imperial core. I am open for criticism to those parts of me and how they inevitably will impact my actions, and I am also willing to learn more about the struggles of people who do not have those privileges. I expect the same from my comrades. I try my best to be patient and kind and have empathy and respond to everybody with thoughtful concern, but I can only gentle parent men so much. Women are tired, we are so fucking tired of being expected for generations to be the mother, the housewife, the housekeeper, the second income source, the maid, the nurse, the wife, the girlfriend, the trophy, pure then the sex doll then a virgin then a toy, we are so tired from being undermined in our careers to being undermined by our boyfriends and husbands to being undermined by random strangers, we are tired and I have all the empathy in the world for all my comrades but there is a line for me and other women, and you are not entitled to our patience forever.
There's also a weird hypocrisy of being mad at mentions of my own personal experiences but also disregarding my writings by saying "well I haven't seen that happen/experienced that." Why the double standard? Why do you automatically disregard or disbelieve me?
Also, I don't just read theory and post stuff online. I'm a high school student who is also an agitator. I mobilize with PSL, I'm very active with PSL, I help to organize, I've done public speaking from speeches to even poetry (mainly for Palestine nowadays), I'm in the streets every single week there is a protest, I have been on a local panel for socialism and Palestine, I do shit. All of this while keeping straight A's in school. I may not have the perfect understanding of theory or be a perfect socialist, but I'm trying I'm going out I'm organizing, I'm not going to be told by men who don't even know me that I'm not doing enough or that I'm not good enough.
I am a Marxist but I am also a feminist. And we're here to fucking stay. The revolution would be nothing without us, be introspective, criticize yourself, be your biggest and kindest critic, be kind to others, don't assume that just because you aren't using shameless insults that your massive paragraphs can't be equally insulting, and realize that women are half the proletariat, this movement is not taking flight without us and our liberation matters. Our ideas, our growth, our desire for knowledge, our opinions, and our experiences matter.
To tie it back to Marxism/class: Marxist intersectionality means focusing on class as the core struggle and understanding, without being reductionist, that many of our behaviors/situations are directly caused or impacted by our material conditions and that class struggle is the uniting form of oppression across the entire working class under the bourgeoisie, WHILE ALSO acknowledging that not all experiences within the working class are the same, that there are many systems of repression and bigotry that keep us divided and keep some of our comrades in heavier chains than others, chains that often cross in intersections. A Black worker will not have the same experiences as a white worker, a cishet worker will not have the same experiences as a queer worker, a female worker will not have the same experiences as a male worker. The goal is to address these forms of oppression through intersectional, international, and revolutionary means, acknowledging class as the ultimate root while acknowledging the very nuanced and niche oppressions that exist across this class. Feminism is crucial to socialism, liberal feminism is not real feminism and is capitalism in lipstick. Real, revolutionary, Marxist feminism is class conscious and seeks for female liberation in a way that will benefit working class women and workers across the proletariat including men. Intersectionality with women is important, and especially with women of color. Under capitalism we are literal commodities and means of production. That is why our reproductive rights are constantly being attacked and why we are objectified to hell.
Finally, I've had many conversations with other women who are very feminist, but aren't socialists. When I ask them why they aren't socialists, they say they often feel left out in most socialist discourse, that theory feels class reductionist, and they feel a lack of intersectional solidarity. Do I believe that Marxism or socialism are class reductionist? Absolutely not. Intersectionality was always important to Marxism. Are some (italicized) of you guys acting reductionist and some (italicized) even straight-up harassing potential comrades? Yes. I often have conversations with these women about revolutionary feminism, Marxist feminism vs liberal feminism, and they are very receptive, kind, and open minded. They haven't dug deeper on socialism because they are so frequently pushed out of these spaces or see other women being pushed out. I say hell no to that, I'm standing right here and firm as stone. We have a space here too.
I am generally very open to criticism, but I stand on business with everything I said in this post. I will be respectful, polite, and try to respond with as much empathy as possible, but I will not be giving bad faith posts (again, bad faith doesn't necessarily mean piles of insults, it can be displayed as a backhanded paragraph framed as good faith criticism) my time of day. I. am. human. Women are human. We have our limits. And in this current system, they're constantly getting pushed. Like how younger generations are showing that we're taking less and less shit from our bosses in the workplace, this generation is also done with taking shit from misogyny and men who exhibit misogyny (even if unintentional). We don't hate you if you are willing to accept criticism, be introspective, and learn. But we are done with taking this shit. This is the new generation, we are revolutionaries, and we'll be your grateful comrades if you let us.
Edit: I forgot to mention that women are also capable to some extent of doing the things I've criticized, internalized misogyny is a real thing we all struggle with. Let's treat our sisters with kindness.
On that note, I'm going to be writing another praxis post later today about how Orwell is used as a weapon for indoctrination in American schools, so stay tuned for that if you want :) thanks comrades! The future is proletariat!
2024.05.31 16:42 DireOmicron Good Night World has an interesting premise that fails to deliver at every level
Spoilers. So Good Night World is another anime about a VR (original I know). The basis of the show is actually pretty interesting. Our protagonist is a shut in (wait no I swear it gets better). His family is highly dysfunctional with an abusive father who genuinely cares about his sons, the shut in older brother who hates the world , a younger brother who hates what has become of his older brother, a mom who… exists (she’s so irrelevant), and a younger sisters who’s dead.
All of them play this digital VR game called Planet and coincidentally have all become members of an in game fictional family that all gets along and loves each other. They don’t know they are actually all members of the same irl family.
Other things to note is that there’s a monster called the Black Bird that comes with what equates to around $2 million cash prize and this girl named Pico who has a crush on the main character cause they trauma bonded and she wants him to see the good in the real world and not just live in the game.
So one would expect a twist on the found family story tackling complex issues like trauma, familial abuse, growing relations both online and irl, and seeing the good in life as they pursue this bird right?
No. Fuck you its actually a cosmic horror because of
Apparently the Black Bird needs power sources based on human emotion(?!?!) and so there are sub-ais who were only created to power the true ai who was only created to kill people or something (for reasons?!?). All of this is to say:
The girlfriend’s an ai. That’s it. They even created a separate world for her just to believe she’s a human because why not.
I just… why? Like what’s the point, what’s the point in any of this. She’s killed by the dad to stop the Black Bird Ai in some sad scene that’s only passed by the stupidity of the entire situation
Moving along the two brothers finally reveal their in game relationship to each other and begin reconnecting after so many years, showing genuine emotion other than disgust torwards another. Finally some of the familial bonds this show was sold on!
So 5 minutes later he dies. How you ask? Idk some ai shenanigans. Do you care? Does it matter? The concept of this show was torpedoed and is seemingly used just to fuck with the audience. Through the help of some girl, who’s more prominent than the mother but I don’t care enough to explain, the older brother revived the younger brother, also through ai shenanigans.
Let’s briefly talk about pretty much the only remaining family dynamic of the entire show at this point: Taichiro (the older brother) and Asuma (the younger brother). Taichiro use to be an outgoing child and was the light of his brother’s life before shutting himself off from the world as a trauma response. 5 years have passed since this relationship was a thing but it continued on in the virtual world. The issue I have with this is pretty much boiled down to a one note trait as soon as the truth is revealed with our shut in MC acting as the older brother who protects his brother at all cost and Asuma looking up to him literally calling him “the sun.” To me, this overwriting of the diametrically opposed family relationships by just having the characters blatantly substituting the game life for the last 5 years of irl hatred and disdain as if it never existed is… disappointing to say the least. Maybe my expectations were too high but I was coming into this expecting a succinct story that tackles the views of family regarding each other and how they actually act when set free with the backdrop of an escapist fantasy as a narrative tool. Reconciling these opposing beliefs naturally is integral to that story. Instead the escapist fantasy is the main story leaving little room to tackle the interesting narrative beats, which is just so depressing because all of the elements were in place to do something interesting and tackle deeper topics.
There’s also this guy named Leon who controls the Black Bird and wants to use it to tear down the walls between reality and digital (by having the ai send everyone to that torture world I guess) to be friends with this AI he made in game. This could be a neat parallel to Taichiro who is also chronically obsessed with the virtual world but Leon never really goes past evil kid who wants Ai friend.
Back to what we all care about: this stupid ai plot ruining every decent family related scene. The dad goes home and sees the MC and the one girl I mentioned before (his assistant), the dad obviously cares about the two sons but he still has the whole abused them and kinda was responsible for the sisters death thing. Anyway the whole interaction blows up with the dad telling Taichiro to get over his sister’s death, the dad getting punched, and Taichiro running away with the dad chasing him. Then the dad’s legs get cut off by some monster cat from the video game that’s now in the real world. See what I mean about this A plot ruining the whole family thing. The tension escalated and emotions exploded only for the scene to be cut (literally) by more ai shenanigans
If you’re confused on why a monster is there the entire world is “isekaied” into the virtual world cause… ai… shenanigans… ugh…
The whole gang gets back together. The mom’s schizophrenic and sees the dead daughter while the dad immediately starts physically abusing her saying when will everyone stop blaming him for her death. The mc stabs the dad to get him to stop gets punched and starts walking away sulking. But there’s 2 episodes left and an AI apocalypse to stop so the girl reveals they were all a big happy family in game and our MC freaks out. Now take a guess what happens next
Whatever. The AI kills that one girl and Leon reveals the dad killed that girlfriend from like 10 paragraphs ago. Taichiro actually believes the whole in game family wasn’t by coincidence and was a malicious manipulation tactic by the dad which is actual a neat direction, a complete obliteration of his escapism infiltrated by the person he hates. Too bad we got AI plot to worry about!
The dad turns himself into a virus to destroy the ai and the world. The dad then gives Taichiro a device that erases him and the Black Bird from the world because he knows Taichiro is the only one that would kill him (cause he sucks if that wasn’t obvious yet) but our main man doesn’t do it out of spite I guess (this is the last episode, so much for relationship building)
The dad sacrifices himself anyway and Taichiro cries cause deep down he cares about his father. Also the Black Bird Ai becomes the dead sister cause… well because… I don’t know, I’m tired boss something something ai shenanigans
Taichiro also runs into the girlfriend in her irl body in the new… virtual world… that was just destroyed… the girlfriend that.. was… killed? Look the show doesn’t even try to explain this one (this is probably the ai Taichiro from the shenanigans used to revive his brother which still doesn’t explain anything)
There’s an epilogue that takes place 8 years later and it ends with Taichiro glitching hinting that they still are all in a virtual world because
It isn’t cute and it isn’t smart. Maybe I went into this show with wrong expectations, maybe everything I’ve seen including the Netflix description was just inaccurate. This show isn’t about a broken family coming together through an escapist lens it’s about the author stroking their own ego and creating the lamest most convoluted ai story ever. It’s hinted at by the dad that they were all infected with this goofy ass mind virus before the show even began and the family was manipulated into meeting (probably by the dead sister part of the ai or smth) which completely tears apart the idea that they naturally attract to each other because of how well their personalities complement despite being dysfunctional irl, the literal core idea of the family dynamic was a master plan by the ai. I just can’t.
You wanna know who did this same concept better: The Mitchells vs the fucking Machines because it actually, y’know, focused on the family and not this stupid Ai plot that constantly destroys anything of quality it comes across like the plague.
There were pieces in places to make this a compelling story that encapsulates many of the struggles of the modern world and it fails to do so on Every. Single. Level.
submitted by DireOmicron to CharacterRant [link] [comments]
All of them play this digital VR game called Planet and coincidentally have all become members of an in game fictional family that all gets along and loves each other. They don’t know they are actually all members of the same irl family.
Other things to note is that there’s a monster called the Black Bird that comes with what equates to around $2 million cash prize and this girl named Pico who has a crush on the main character cause they trauma bonded and she wants him to see the good in the real world and not just live in the game.
So one would expect a twist on the found family story tackling complex issues like trauma, familial abuse, growing relations both online and irl, and seeing the good in life as they pursue this bird right?
No. Fuck you its actually a cosmic horror because of
FUCKING. AI.
So remember that black bird thing I mentioned before, well it’s not in in-game quest with an irl reward it’s a super ai that infects your brain and tortures you for all eternity in some virtual world or whatever until you die. That whole family dynamic, that the entire show seemed to be predicated on is dropped after episode 3. The younger brother gets hospitalized cause he gets killed by the super ai in game. The dad fs-off to try to kill the ai cause he actually made the game and the ai, and the main character goes to hang out with his girlfriend/not girlfriend. The mom again is irrelevant and disappears for half the seriesApparently the Black Bird needs power sources based on human emotion(?!?!) and so there are sub-ais who were only created to power the true ai who was only created to kill people or something (for reasons?!?). All of this is to say:
The girlfriend’s an ai. That’s it. They even created a separate world for her just to believe she’s a human because why not.
I just… why? Like what’s the point, what’s the point in any of this. She’s killed by the dad to stop the Black Bird Ai in some sad scene that’s only passed by the stupidity of the entire situation
Moving along the two brothers finally reveal their in game relationship to each other and begin reconnecting after so many years, showing genuine emotion other than disgust torwards another. Finally some of the familial bonds this show was sold on!
So 5 minutes later he dies. How you ask? Idk some ai shenanigans. Do you care? Does it matter? The concept of this show was torpedoed and is seemingly used just to fuck with the audience. Through the help of some girl, who’s more prominent than the mother but I don’t care enough to explain, the older brother revived the younger brother, also through ai shenanigans.
Let’s briefly talk about pretty much the only remaining family dynamic of the entire show at this point: Taichiro (the older brother) and Asuma (the younger brother). Taichiro use to be an outgoing child and was the light of his brother’s life before shutting himself off from the world as a trauma response. 5 years have passed since this relationship was a thing but it continued on in the virtual world. The issue I have with this is pretty much boiled down to a one note trait as soon as the truth is revealed with our shut in MC acting as the older brother who protects his brother at all cost and Asuma looking up to him literally calling him “the sun.” To me, this overwriting of the diametrically opposed family relationships by just having the characters blatantly substituting the game life for the last 5 years of irl hatred and disdain as if it never existed is… disappointing to say the least. Maybe my expectations were too high but I was coming into this expecting a succinct story that tackles the views of family regarding each other and how they actually act when set free with the backdrop of an escapist fantasy as a narrative tool. Reconciling these opposing beliefs naturally is integral to that story. Instead the escapist fantasy is the main story leaving little room to tackle the interesting narrative beats, which is just so depressing because all of the elements were in place to do something interesting and tackle deeper topics.
There’s also this guy named Leon who controls the Black Bird and wants to use it to tear down the walls between reality and digital (by having the ai send everyone to that torture world I guess) to be friends with this AI he made in game. This could be a neat parallel to Taichiro who is also chronically obsessed with the virtual world but Leon never really goes past evil kid who wants Ai friend.
Back to what we all care about: this stupid ai plot ruining every decent family related scene. The dad goes home and sees the MC and the one girl I mentioned before (his assistant), the dad obviously cares about the two sons but he still has the whole abused them and kinda was responsible for the sisters death thing. Anyway the whole interaction blows up with the dad telling Taichiro to get over his sister’s death, the dad getting punched, and Taichiro running away with the dad chasing him. Then the dad’s legs get cut off by some monster cat from the video game that’s now in the real world. See what I mean about this A plot ruining the whole family thing. The tension escalated and emotions exploded only for the scene to be cut (literally) by more ai shenanigans
If you’re confused on why a monster is there the entire world is “isekaied” into the virtual world cause… ai… shenanigans… ugh…
The whole gang gets back together. The mom’s schizophrenic and sees the dead daughter while the dad immediately starts physically abusing her saying when will everyone stop blaming him for her death. The mc stabs the dad to get him to stop gets punched and starts walking away sulking. But there’s 2 episodes left and an AI apocalypse to stop so the girl reveals they were all a big happy family in game and our MC freaks out. Now take a guess what happens next
- The author writes a well written dialogue discussing the deep internalize traumas the family faces
- Taichiro rightfully lashes at his father for just about everything in a heated emotional scene paired with visually stunning combat
- Fucking. Ai.
Whatever. The AI kills that one girl and Leon reveals the dad killed that girlfriend from like 10 paragraphs ago. Taichiro actually believes the whole in game family wasn’t by coincidence and was a malicious manipulation tactic by the dad which is actual a neat direction, a complete obliteration of his escapism infiltrated by the person he hates. Too bad we got AI plot to worry about!
The dad turns himself into a virus to destroy the ai and the world. The dad then gives Taichiro a device that erases him and the Black Bird from the world because he knows Taichiro is the only one that would kill him (cause he sucks if that wasn’t obvious yet) but our main man doesn’t do it out of spite I guess (this is the last episode, so much for relationship building)
The dad sacrifices himself anyway and Taichiro cries cause deep down he cares about his father. Also the Black Bird Ai becomes the dead sister cause… well because… I don’t know, I’m tired boss something something ai shenanigans
Taichiro also runs into the girlfriend in her irl body in the new… virtual world… that was just destroyed… the girlfriend that.. was… killed? Look the show doesn’t even try to explain this one (this is probably the ai Taichiro from the shenanigans used to revive his brother which still doesn’t explain anything)
There’s an epilogue that takes place 8 years later and it ends with Taichiro glitching hinting that they still are all in a virtual world because
Fuck You
You want a concrete ending for our silly goofy what is realty sci-fi show? Aww that’s cute. Was it all a dream oohhhh we’re so mysterious. You just wasted hours of your life and you don’t even get a proper conclusion without any bullshit mwahaha aren’t we just so dashingly creative and brilliant. Gotta keep the audience on their toes, what zany plot twist will come up next hmmm. Oh we are just so clever.It isn’t cute and it isn’t smart. Maybe I went into this show with wrong expectations, maybe everything I’ve seen including the Netflix description was just inaccurate. This show isn’t about a broken family coming together through an escapist lens it’s about the author stroking their own ego and creating the lamest most convoluted ai story ever. It’s hinted at by the dad that they were all infected with this goofy ass mind virus before the show even began and the family was manipulated into meeting (probably by the dead sister part of the ai or smth) which completely tears apart the idea that they naturally attract to each other because of how well their personalities complement despite being dysfunctional irl, the literal core idea of the family dynamic was a master plan by the ai. I just can’t.
You wanna know who did this same concept better: The Mitchells vs the fucking Machines because it actually, y’know, focused on the family and not this stupid Ai plot that constantly destroys anything of quality it comes across like the plague.
There were pieces in places to make this a compelling story that encapsulates many of the struggles of the modern world and it fails to do so on Every. Single. Level.
2024.05.31 09:44 Smart-Load-2673 Am I really this depressed?
I don’t normally care about too many things, especially when it involves me, I’m not exactly a good person, but I wouldn’t say I’m a bad one. I have a girlfriend, but I always say she deserves better. And I always ask her why she chose me to love, no matter what answer she gives, I just can’t believe that she really loves me. And now I’m accusing her of cheating because my mind can’t calm down. She says she’s not and I trust that. At least a little bit, I can’t help but always think that she might be cheating. I wouldn’t care either way since if it happens there isn’t really anything I can do about it and frankly I’d deserve it. But what hurts me is that I don’t know. Am I a bad person for not trusting her? Every single time that comes up I always tell myself to shut up, and stop, and then I start thinking about how I could make our relationship better, I try thinking about and seeing things from her perspective, trying to find out what she could possibly love about me, trying to understand how she feels. Yet nothing comes to mind, I don’t even love myself, whenever I try seeing things through her perspective, I always say how could she love me? There isn’t anything about me that’s interesting, I hate myself, I hate every little thing about myself, from the way I walk, the way I talk, the way my skin looks, the way there’s wrinkles on my fingers, the way my mouth moves whenever I speak, the way my body looks, how I spend most the time sitting at home doing nothing but play games and waste my useless life away, I hate how i’m so quiet around my family, little things like that (the list goes on but that doesn’t matter). I always have these episodes, I’m not even sure it’s okay to call them episodes. The reason I decided to write this long ass paragraph is because a few minutes ago, I was getting ready to sleep and I thought about something negative, like the thought of my girlfriend cheating on me since we stopped texting each other so we could sleep, then I closed my eyes and thought to myself “shut up, just go to sleep, relax, stop thinking and rest, enjoy the time you have without yourself ranting in your head, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay, everything’s gonna be fine”, then I opened my eyes because I felt tears. Am I so depressed that me telling myself it’s gonna be fine is enough to make me shed tears?
Ps: sorry for the whole rant, I don’t even know if this makes any sense, I’m sorry if it doesn’t.
submitted by Smart-Load-2673 to depression [link] [comments]
Ps: sorry for the whole rant, I don’t even know if this makes any sense, I’m sorry if it doesn’t.
2024.05.31 06:00 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update]: I think my (23M) best friend's (24M) fiancée hates me and I don't know why.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Jumpy_Try1401
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Previous BoRU
Thanks to u/czechtheboxes and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
[New Update]: I think my (23M) best friend's (24M) fiancée hates me and I don't know why.
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH -----
Trigger Warnings: possible controlling behavior, verbal and emotional abuse, homophobia
Original Post: March 16, 2024
I never thought I would find myself in a situation like this, but here goes. My (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why. For the purpose of this story, I'll call him Finn. A little backstory, Finn and I have both known each other since we were in 6th grade. We grew so close from their that he had grown to be a part of my family, and I a part of his. Around the summer of my 10th grade year, I came out to my parents as gay. Let's just say that they didn't take it too kindly, and I ended up disowned, but that's a story for another day. (Gonna start it off and say I've never had or teased any romantic feelings towards Finn.)
To make a long story short, Finn's family happily took me in and treated me with nothing but kindness. When Finn and I graduated from highschool, he went on to work under his father while his parents helped me pay to attend college. During my time away for college is when Finn met Sara (27F). I believe it was my 3rd year of college when I finally got to meet her. It was during a family dinner. I greeted her warmly and tried to make my best impression because she's my best friends girlfriend. When I went to shake her hand, she looked at my hand in a weird way. I don't want to say disgust, but I'm not sure how to describe it. I felt a little bummed, but it was whatever. Maybe she is just nervous.
After that school break, weird things started happening like me and Finn's messages randomly being muted, or my number randomly being blocked on Finn's phone. (At one point it got so weird that Finn contacted AT&T to see if it was a glitch or something.) Obviously I'm guessing it was her, but I would never accuse someone without any hard proof, plus I'm like 2 states over at the time, so I literally have no proof.
Things got even worse when I moved back home after finally graduating from college. Because I have so much respect for their relationship, I never tried to make plans with Finn. If we went out at any point, it was because he was sure he had nothing planned and he would set the date and everything and then let me know. This worked fine, until it didn't. I want to clarify that we got to hang out about 2 or 3 times a month, for about 3 months.
After those 3 months, that's where things started getting weird. On the days where Finn and I planned to meet, Sara would call him and have some sort of situation literally about an hour or less from the time we would be meeting. She would say things like she's having car troubles, she's feeling ill, or she is lonely and needs him. I never felt right trying to stop him from going to her if he needed to, he would say he didn't, but just to avoid anything I'd cancel on him just to make him go see her. (Surprise, there would be no car troubles, and all of a sudden she felt so much better). Eventually Finn and I stopped hanging out as much because it just got annoying, for me at least. We would see each other at family gatherings, but that would be about it.
Fast forward to January of this year, Finn proposed to Sara. Everyone including myself had been over the moon for them. Who wouldn't be happy to see their best friend tie the knot with someone they love. Let me be the first to say this has been the shittiest time ever. To start, she puzzled everyone by immediately making a post on her Instagram story with a picture of her and Finn. She captioned the picture "Better than the rest." with a kissing emoji. This led me and Finn's older siblings asking him if he cheated, because who's "the rest." Finn responds that she's just too excited to make sense. That made no sense to me either, but not my circus.
With their wedding coming up soon, their planning has been nothing short of a nightmare. Her family for some reason doesn't want to help with the cost of the wedding which isn't their obligation so I get it, but we as a family decided to all pitch in and help them get the best wedding possible. After everything had been covered there was only one thing left. Who would be in the wedding party. We knew there would be one since she talked so much about it.
Finn only had one request and that was me being his best man. She initially agreed, but after a few weeks she came back and said that me being best man wont be possible because she wants that spot for her brother. This caused some troubles for them, and things were almost called off until I had just talked to Finn and was just like...it's fine, just let her have it and enjoy your day. Don't let me be the reason you lose what you two have. Of course I was upset about it , but I would feel worse if things went south because of me. I would say that was my biggest mistake as now it feels like she is flexing her power.
Recently, during another family dinner she brought up seating and shower us a few pictures. Why would I not be surprised that she sat me at a table away from those I would call my family. When she showed us, I got a few glances from Finns parents and siblings, and damn I might be a doormat, but I was just fine with it if the wedding still got to happen.
My problem is I just want things to be fine if not good between me and her. I don't know if it's because I'm not related by blood or she's homophobic or whatever it may be, but I don't want this to be a constant thing. I hoped that with time, things would get better, and they really haven't. I'm hoping things get better after the wedding, but I'm not even sure. I don't want to talk to anyone close to us and start something, and I'm really considering going low contact with Finn if this solves the issue, but I don't really know what I'm doing here. How do I go about this while protecting my relationship with Finn's family, my friendship with Finn, and not destroying his relationship?
TLDR: My (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why.
Update #1: March 16, 2024 (same day, 15 hours later)
So I wasn't expecting to update so soon, but I had something unexpected that happened today.
Link to previous post: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/1fhEFmwed4
So yesterday I posted about problems I'm having with my bestfriends fiance. After receiving a ton of great advice, I figured that I would at least speak to one of Finn's family members or Finn himself tomorrow since that's when we meet for dinner, but I was a bit surprised when Finn dropped by my apartment today.
I was spooked at first with me making the reddit post and thinking that he had seen the post and was here to confront me. Luckily he said that he was just in the area and decided to stop by. There was the initial small talk you do when someone comes over and then a good 20 minutes of us daydreaming about the food we are having tomorrow (LOL), but then I remembered someone saying I should show Finn the reddit post.
I learned that the more I waited, the more damage there will be when things come to a head. I guess he noticed my hesitancy since he asked me what's going on. As much as I wanted to say nothing and keep letting the issue stay where it is, there would be no point of me coming on here asking you all for help. I pulled up the reddit post on my laptop and showed him the post. He read the post about 3 or 4 times, which made me nervous again since time was going on and on and he had just been staring with no reaction for so long.
After a while, he asked "Is this it?". I can't even explain how fast my heart sunk. I thought he was about to downplay the situation even though I would say that the two of us have always been understanding of what eachother are going through. He read through the comments of the post before he sat the laptop down. I want to thank you guys so much because the conversation that followed had me floored. I would say all most everyone who gave suggestions were correct in someway. Anyways the conversation went like this:
Finn: Have I ever made you feel like this was something you couldn't tell me?
Me: That's a very difficult question to answer. Not directly but your happiness played a huge role in me just brushing it under the rug.
Finn: You should have told me this long ago. Don't you think I would want to know about this? I thought things were going fine.
Finn: There is a difference between you being considerate of my relationship with Sara, and you letting me be stupid enough to let her run over you and our friendship.
After that, I had to ask him if he really saw nothing going on. He said he felt really pissed about the entire wedding situation, but he chalked it up to her just wanting her day to be how she imagined it. I made sure to remind him that it's his day as well, which us honestly something I should have said back when I was removed from best man. I then asked him would he have idea why she acts the way towards me. I had never met the girl, so it puzzled me how she could be so ehh towards me.
Me thinking it would be a little petty reason that could be easily fixed, Right??? WRONG!! Whoever said something about a drunken confession or something of the sort, you would be right. Apparently during my time in college, Finn got closer to some people who went to our high school. This led to him meeting Sara as well. He said that before he and Sara started dating, it was one time where they had all decided to hang out and had been playing some sort of drunken confessions game. I've never really been to parties like that, so I dont know how those work.
Anyways, he started rambling for a bit before I asked for him to get to the point, in whatever fucked up way it happened, he remembers saying something along the lines of "I wish (My name) was a girl." Not blaming him, but there is NO WAY you said some crazy stuff like that. I almost thought he was joking, but he had a stone face.
No wonder she hates me, and that makes me wish I would have spoke up sooner. I told him how whatever he said was not okay. I also told him that if he knew he said something like that, out of everyone, HE should have known that she would feel some kind of way. He tried to excuse it by saying that he thought no one would remember and it was just something that would pass. Let me clarify that Finn and I have NEVER had anything going on. I don't even know why something like that would be said, and it still feels unbelievable to me. Now I can sort of understand where Sara is coming from, but then again
Update #2: March 18, 2024
So...I guess it's safe to say that the wedding is off. On Friday I came here with the problem of my bestfriends fiance hating me. After getting a ton of great advice, I was able to speak to Finn when he dropped by the next day. We spoke for a really long time, with some really weird things being said (check previous update). Anyways, after Saturday, Finn told me he'd call me that night after he spoke to his fiance, Sara. Well that never happened.
Sunday dinner rolled around and everyone came by. I knew he had spoke to Sara because she was giving me a death glare from across the table. Alright, now you're starting to piss me off. We get through dinner and now everyone had just been in conversation. At some point, Finn pulled both me and Sara outside to the backyard. There was a long silence, but then Finn cleared his throat and then the conversation went something like this:
Finn: Do it.
Sara: I already told you, I'm not doing anything.
Me: What does she have to do?
Finn: She needs to apologize about everything so we can all be fine.
Sara: I did nothing wrong. Your relationship is weird. (My name) is weird. His relationship with your family is weird, and I should be the one making you apologize.
Me: I get why you're upset, but things Finn said in the past are not my fault, and I'm sure there are some things people say where they're drunk that they don't-
So at this point, Sara got red in the face and just began screaming. Watching this play out in real time, the first thought in my head was "She needs a fucking exorcism." Most of what she was saying couldn't even be understood, but I made out things like "He fucking knew" and "Why would you tell him you said that, I knew you two had something going on."
W. T. F. So at that point Finn's parents and siblings had finally came outside because of Sara and they asked what's going on. I try to explain, but Sara just starts screaming that I'm a "dirty dog that needs to be put down." I guess to cool the situation down, after a little convincing Finns mom is able to get Sara into the house. Finns sister also went inside with them, leaving only me, Finn, Finn's older brother, and Finn's dad outside. I explain my side of the story and then Finn explains his side. We spoke about the talk Finn and I had at my apartment on Saturday. He received some teasing for the weird comment he made about me, but the conversation became serious again. Eventually Finn's mom and sister come back outside. They say that Sara is in the bathroom cleaning herself up. His mom starts the conversation with "Are you two messing around?" I'm. Fucking. FLOORED. I fill her in on everything she is yet to know. I tell her that I've never flirted, kissed, or doing anything else that was not platonic with Finn.
I'm guessing Sara was listening in through the backdoor instead of just coming out, because as soon as the words left my mouth she came out screaming at me that I'm a liar. I ask her at what point have I ever made her feel like I'm chasing after Finn. I mean I'm helping to fund their damn wedding. Finn parents are trying to help her understand that everything is being misunderstood, but she isn't having it. She kept yelling until the point where Finn had to pull her aside. It started off as a yelling match between them, but then things finally began to calm down and I thought she understood and we could talk it out. RIGHT???? WRONG!!!
Color me fucking surprised when she walks back over like everything is fine and slaps me. After the long period of silence and shock, I was just done and I was like "I'm out." Finn and Sara begin yelling at eachother again but at that point of couldn't have cared any less. I head back inside to grab my things cause I'm done with the situation.
Eventually Sara's screams at Finn go from calling him names to her saying "I'm sorry" and "give it back". Finn yelled at her to stop. Hell, even I was scared and I didn't even do anything. He then said something like "I let you have the wedding how you wanted. I've never given you a reason to doubt me.The fact that you're just yelling and screaming here like a toddler is honestly something I'm not looking for in a partner. You make up this fake scenario in your head, and why?? What good does that do. You're pissed about a comment made at a party before we even dated, and that is crazy to me. You won't apologize. You won't listen. I should took the ring the moment you slapped him. Nobody in this house has EVER disrespected everyone else like you've done today."
Finn came inside as well, and began grabbing his things. He told his parents that he's gonna sleep in his old bedroom upstairs for a few nights which they were fine with. I knew Sara had driven over with him, and before anything, no matter what they went through he should make sure he gets her home safe. After I spoke to him about taking her home he agreed. Everyone had finished grabbing their things around the same time with me, Finn, Sara, and his siblings all heading to our cars at the same time.
The entire time, I was surprised but not interested when Sara began apologizing to me. I mean, I didn't even want her to apologize in the first place, but just treat me with the kindness I offered to her. Why did we have to go through all of this for you to realize that you're just being downright nasty. I'm not sure if she's been cheated on in the past or if it's some kind of trauma or something, but it's also not for me to figure out.
Finn ended up dropping her off, and I'm guessing he called me by the time he got back to his parents place. I didn't even answer because I was just tired and the entire confrontation drained me. It definitely could have went better, and I hoped that this would be something that could be easily fixed, instead it destroyed a relationship which I feel shitty about.
It's Monday after noon and there is still no word on if Finn and Sara have even spoke to eachother this morning. I haven't spoken to anyone this morning either, but Finn did send me a few tiktok videos. I think it's just sad because even with the way she treated me, I think their relationship was a beautiful thing, and it socks that things such as jealousy and misunderstandings can be silent killers to a relationship. I thank you all for the advice and for pushing me towards talking to someone about this. I wish things could have ended differently, but as some of you said, this should be a wake up call towards both Finn and I. I'm not sure what will come of everything. Maybe they will reconcile eventually, but I think for now the wedding may be off.
Relevant Comments
MissMew0417: I just want to say that I have a lot of respect on how you handled the situation. I'm sorry that things devolved the way that they did.
Don't accept those fake apologies. She just wants her wedding. She is not sorry. She is only sorry she caught red handed.
I am sure her family and friends will believe her lies. She probably is one of those MAGA people.
Good riddances.
I don’t believe their relationship is as good as you think it was, her mask started slipping a while ago. Hopefully, for the sanity of your family and Finn they part ways, cause imagine how jealous she’d be if he gave a baby attention.
Update #3: March 20, 2024
Update 3: I think my (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why.
Hello Reddit,
It has been almost a week since my initial post and I can't thank you all enough for all the advice. Even the people who called me out on being a doormat, thank you. Since my last update a lot has happened.
I want to start things out by flat out saying that their isn't a chance of reconciliation between Finn and Sara, and after reading everything and really taking a stepback to see how this situation was definitely a blessing, I'm happy with the outcome. Since the major fallout, me and Finn have spoken a lot about not only being open and honest with eachother about things that bother us, but to also establish boundaries for our future partners (Not that either of us are getting out there.)
Yesterday evening, Finn and I went over to the apartment he shares with Sara to retrieve his belongings. When we got there, Sara wasn't home so that was a relief. It was a bit of work to get all of his things bagged/boxed up and put in the rental, but luckily we got everything.
I actually live in a decent sized apartment, so Finn is gonna stay with me until he settles everything with the place he had with Sara. Finn along with the rest of his family ended up blocking Sara, with Finn blocking her after they spoke a final time this morning. I was around during the conversation and there was another moment where you all really helped.
I'm guessing Finn did take notes from you all because he spoke for a long period about how she has things that she needs to work on before looking for a relationship with some of them being the ability to love herself and dealing with her mental health as well as she is clearly not in a good state. There was a lot more, but that is just to make a long story short.
She asked him was there really no chance that things could work out between them. He told her no, not only because of what he had just said, but because she disrespected him, me, and the rest of his family. He told her he should have put his foot down a long time ago, and it's just as much his fault as it is hers that things got this far. He told her that he wished the best for her, and when she is ready for a relationship and the right time comes, then that will be that. There was a long moment of silence and then she ended the call, and he blocked her not long after. I'm not sure how the wedding cancelations and all that good stuff will work, but I'm sure we'll handle it.
As far as me and Finn's relationship goes, I feel really happy. I feel like I got my best friend back, and it's crazy how you don't realize how different the energy in friendships become when you are in situations like that for that long. I can admit that no, none of this was NOT my fault, HOWEVER I could have spoke up about it not only for myself but for Finn as well.
Maybe the two of us along with the rest of the family should take a trip somewhere, taking time for ourselves. I think this whole situation has been very eye opening for both me and Finn and there needs to be some changes, ESPECIALLY with us and our communication, because as you all said, it wouldn't have gotten this far had we spoke on it. That's pretty much it.
There wasn't a crazy fight scene where the police bust in and take Sara away. I think that Sara DEFINITELY needs to get her shit together, but we also have to better ourselves as well, and some of you have made me very aware of the pushover I can be. :) You've all given me so much guidance and that really warms my heart. I actually cried a little, because almost a week ago, I felt so hopeless.
This will most likely be the last update, but before I go I'll answer some of your questions that I felt shouldn't go ignored. Also, I read EVERY. SINGLE. COMMENT. And even if I didn't respond, best believe I took it to heart and I am forever grateful.
Okay, First Question...
Why do you think their relationship was a beautiful thing? I can't say my words were misconstrued, but I will say that I expressed myself and my thoughts the wrong way. What I was trying to convey was not the beauty of their relationship, but the beauty of relationships and the idea of relationships as a whole. I hope both Finn and Sara find their person when they are ready.
Why do you feel bad? This was another case of me expressing my thoughts poorly. I don't feel bad that Finn got out of that situation. I'm happy that he's out of that toxic environment before things got even more messy. What I felt bad about was that there was a situation to even begin with, and if my best friend his hurting, I can't help but feel bad.
Being a rebound for Finn? No. Absolutely not. If there were to ever be something between me and Finn, it would be under full understanding that we are in it for eachother. Not saying that it would ever even happen, but what good would a rebound do besides hurting eachother? Once again not claiming to have feelings for him, but even if I did I wouldn't use this ass a chance to start anything with him with emotions everywhere.
The last time I heard from my family? A few months before I started college which was many years ago. I wish them the best, just not around me.
Have you and Finn cleared up what your relationship is meant to be? Yes, we definitely have, especially with the help of you all. I made it known to Finn that it's fine to feel however you feel towards me or anyone, but you have to understand who you are and what you want out of relationships with people whether it's friendships, lovers, etc. Someone said platonic soulmates and that definitely suits us, haha.
Why did Sara's family disown her? That remains unknown. If I ever find out, I'll let you all know. I wish her the best as well, just not around me.
Has Sara ever physically abused Finn? No. He has said that they argued consistently, but there was never any hands laid on one another.
Did you file a police report against Sara? No I did not, but do not worry. Since it all happened on the back porch, it had been picked up on the camera and I have it saved to my phone if I ever need it which I doubt.
How have your partners felt about Finn? Never had one.
I think that pretty much wraps it up!! If anyone has any more questions, I'll do my best to answer. If this wasn't the update you expected, still treat me kindly. Once again I love you all so much. ❤️❤️❤️
Relevant Comments
PtarmiganTzar: It’s as happy of an update as we could hope for. I hope he will be okay. A thought though. I know it is great to have him around and be best friends again, and your support is incredible! But because your relationship was the thing she latched onto to cause her mental break down of the relationship, maybe him staying with his family might be best for a bit? I would just hate for her to start spreading rumors that y’all have to awkwardly fight off
Mini Update 1: March 24, 2024
Hi to those still out there!! :D A little has happened since everything went down. We are currently at a vacation cabin, and the picture is a trail that we had took a walk on. Finn is doing really well and his parents as well as the rest of us are really happy to have him around a lot more. I've lived in the city all my life, so to see those huge hills is crazy, haha.
Also, I guess Sara has been up as well. Since Finn and Sara basically have the same friend group, he saw a picture from someone else's page of Sara out at the club. He seemed indifferent to it, so I guess he's also learning to let it go if he hasn't already. Finn's parents and siblings leave tomorrow afternoon for either work or other reasons, but Finn and I decided to stay at the cabin for a while longer.
https://imgur.com/a/hxPwFmI
Hi everyone!! I know it's been a while, a little over a month since you've last heard from me and a few people asked for an update.
Nothing much has happened. I finished playing elden ring, which was a pretty fun game (besides the parts where I raged). I also thought I may have met a guy, but our views on things were a bit too different for my liking, which is okay.
Finn in still staying with me, and the only problem is him wanting to use my Xbox 24/7 (I'm kidding lol). I really don't know much about Sara. I heard she's with a new guy, but eh. Rumors are rumors.
A funny thing that did happen was Finn and I getting scolded by his parents once we got back from the trip. The whole communication is key thing that they literally hammered into our head the entire trip.
I would say that things are going good. I hope you are all doing good as well.❤️
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Previous BoRU
Thanks to u/czechtheboxes and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
[New Update]: I think my (23M) best friend's (24M) fiancée hates me and I don't know why.
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH -----
Trigger Warnings: possible controlling behavior, verbal and emotional abuse, homophobia
I never thought I would find myself in a situation like this, but here goes. My (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why. For the purpose of this story, I'll call him Finn. A little backstory, Finn and I have both known each other since we were in 6th grade. We grew so close from their that he had grown to be a part of my family, and I a part of his. Around the summer of my 10th grade year, I came out to my parents as gay. Let's just say that they didn't take it too kindly, and I ended up disowned, but that's a story for another day. (Gonna start it off and say I've never had or teased any romantic feelings towards Finn.)
To make a long story short, Finn's family happily took me in and treated me with nothing but kindness. When Finn and I graduated from highschool, he went on to work under his father while his parents helped me pay to attend college. During my time away for college is when Finn met Sara (27F). I believe it was my 3rd year of college when I finally got to meet her. It was during a family dinner. I greeted her warmly and tried to make my best impression because she's my best friends girlfriend. When I went to shake her hand, she looked at my hand in a weird way. I don't want to say disgust, but I'm not sure how to describe it. I felt a little bummed, but it was whatever. Maybe she is just nervous.
After that school break, weird things started happening like me and Finn's messages randomly being muted, or my number randomly being blocked on Finn's phone. (At one point it got so weird that Finn contacted AT&T to see if it was a glitch or something.) Obviously I'm guessing it was her, but I would never accuse someone without any hard proof, plus I'm like 2 states over at the time, so I literally have no proof.
Things got even worse when I moved back home after finally graduating from college. Because I have so much respect for their relationship, I never tried to make plans with Finn. If we went out at any point, it was because he was sure he had nothing planned and he would set the date and everything and then let me know. This worked fine, until it didn't. I want to clarify that we got to hang out about 2 or 3 times a month, for about 3 months.
After those 3 months, that's where things started getting weird. On the days where Finn and I planned to meet, Sara would call him and have some sort of situation literally about an hour or less from the time we would be meeting. She would say things like she's having car troubles, she's feeling ill, or she is lonely and needs him. I never felt right trying to stop him from going to her if he needed to, he would say he didn't, but just to avoid anything I'd cancel on him just to make him go see her. (Surprise, there would be no car troubles, and all of a sudden she felt so much better). Eventually Finn and I stopped hanging out as much because it just got annoying, for me at least. We would see each other at family gatherings, but that would be about it.
Fast forward to January of this year, Finn proposed to Sara. Everyone including myself had been over the moon for them. Who wouldn't be happy to see their best friend tie the knot with someone they love. Let me be the first to say this has been the shittiest time ever. To start, she puzzled everyone by immediately making a post on her Instagram story with a picture of her and Finn. She captioned the picture "Better than the rest." with a kissing emoji. This led me and Finn's older siblings asking him if he cheated, because who's "the rest." Finn responds that she's just too excited to make sense. That made no sense to me either, but not my circus.
With their wedding coming up soon, their planning has been nothing short of a nightmare. Her family for some reason doesn't want to help with the cost of the wedding which isn't their obligation so I get it, but we as a family decided to all pitch in and help them get the best wedding possible. After everything had been covered there was only one thing left. Who would be in the wedding party. We knew there would be one since she talked so much about it.
Finn only had one request and that was me being his best man. She initially agreed, but after a few weeks she came back and said that me being best man wont be possible because she wants that spot for her brother. This caused some troubles for them, and things were almost called off until I had just talked to Finn and was just like...it's fine, just let her have it and enjoy your day. Don't let me be the reason you lose what you two have. Of course I was upset about it , but I would feel worse if things went south because of me. I would say that was my biggest mistake as now it feels like she is flexing her power.
Recently, during another family dinner she brought up seating and shower us a few pictures. Why would I not be surprised that she sat me at a table away from those I would call my family. When she showed us, I got a few glances from Finns parents and siblings, and damn I might be a doormat, but I was just fine with it if the wedding still got to happen.
My problem is I just want things to be fine if not good between me and her. I don't know if it's because I'm not related by blood or she's homophobic or whatever it may be, but I don't want this to be a constant thing. I hoped that with time, things would get better, and they really haven't. I'm hoping things get better after the wedding, but I'm not even sure. I don't want to talk to anyone close to us and start something, and I'm really considering going low contact with Finn if this solves the issue, but I don't really know what I'm doing here. How do I go about this while protecting my relationship with Finn's family, my friendship with Finn, and not destroying his relationship?
TLDR: My (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why.
Update #1: March 16, 2024 (same day, 15 hours later)
So I wasn't expecting to update so soon, but I had something unexpected that happened today.
Link to previous post: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/s/1fhEFmwed4
So yesterday I posted about problems I'm having with my bestfriends fiance. After receiving a ton of great advice, I figured that I would at least speak to one of Finn's family members or Finn himself tomorrow since that's when we meet for dinner, but I was a bit surprised when Finn dropped by my apartment today.
I was spooked at first with me making the reddit post and thinking that he had seen the post and was here to confront me. Luckily he said that he was just in the area and decided to stop by. There was the initial small talk you do when someone comes over and then a good 20 minutes of us daydreaming about the food we are having tomorrow (LOL), but then I remembered someone saying I should show Finn the reddit post.
I learned that the more I waited, the more damage there will be when things come to a head. I guess he noticed my hesitancy since he asked me what's going on. As much as I wanted to say nothing and keep letting the issue stay where it is, there would be no point of me coming on here asking you all for help. I pulled up the reddit post on my laptop and showed him the post. He read the post about 3 or 4 times, which made me nervous again since time was going on and on and he had just been staring with no reaction for so long.
After a while, he asked "Is this it?". I can't even explain how fast my heart sunk. I thought he was about to downplay the situation even though I would say that the two of us have always been understanding of what eachother are going through. He read through the comments of the post before he sat the laptop down. I want to thank you guys so much because the conversation that followed had me floored. I would say all most everyone who gave suggestions were correct in someway. Anyways the conversation went like this:
Finn: Have I ever made you feel like this was something you couldn't tell me?
Me: That's a very difficult question to answer. Not directly but your happiness played a huge role in me just brushing it under the rug.
Finn: You should have told me this long ago. Don't you think I would want to know about this? I thought things were going fine.
Finn: There is a difference between you being considerate of my relationship with Sara, and you letting me be stupid enough to let her run over you and our friendship.
After that, I had to ask him if he really saw nothing going on. He said he felt really pissed about the entire wedding situation, but he chalked it up to her just wanting her day to be how she imagined it. I made sure to remind him that it's his day as well, which us honestly something I should have said back when I was removed from best man. I then asked him would he have idea why she acts the way towards me. I had never met the girl, so it puzzled me how she could be so ehh towards me.
Me thinking it would be a little petty reason that could be easily fixed, Right??? WRONG!! Whoever said something about a drunken confession or something of the sort, you would be right. Apparently during my time in college, Finn got closer to some people who went to our high school. This led to him meeting Sara as well. He said that before he and Sara started dating, it was one time where they had all decided to hang out and had been playing some sort of drunken confessions game. I've never really been to parties like that, so I dont know how those work.
Anyways, he started rambling for a bit before I asked for him to get to the point, in whatever fucked up way it happened, he remembers saying something along the lines of "I wish (My name) was a girl." Not blaming him, but there is NO WAY you said some crazy stuff like that. I almost thought he was joking, but he had a stone face.
No wonder she hates me, and that makes me wish I would have spoke up sooner. I told him how whatever he said was not okay. I also told him that if he knew he said something like that, out of everyone, HE should have known that she would feel some kind of way. He tried to excuse it by saying that he thought no one would remember and it was just something that would pass. Let me clarify that Finn and I have NEVER had anything going on. I don't even know why something like that would be said, and it still feels unbelievable to me. Now I can sort of understand where Sara is coming from, but then again
- If this guy were to say something like that, why would you even go after him?
- If you do end up with this guy, why are you going after the person who he said those things about like it's their fault.
- If there was a problem that obviously Sara felt some way about, she should have talked to him or even me and we could have spoke about it. (Says the guy who sat quietly for this long, I know.)
Update #2: March 18, 2024
So...I guess it's safe to say that the wedding is off. On Friday I came here with the problem of my bestfriends fiance hating me. After getting a ton of great advice, I was able to speak to Finn when he dropped by the next day. We spoke for a really long time, with some really weird things being said (check previous update). Anyways, after Saturday, Finn told me he'd call me that night after he spoke to his fiance, Sara. Well that never happened.
Sunday dinner rolled around and everyone came by. I knew he had spoke to Sara because she was giving me a death glare from across the table. Alright, now you're starting to piss me off. We get through dinner and now everyone had just been in conversation. At some point, Finn pulled both me and Sara outside to the backyard. There was a long silence, but then Finn cleared his throat and then the conversation went something like this:
Finn: Do it.
Sara: I already told you, I'm not doing anything.
Me: What does she have to do?
Finn: She needs to apologize about everything so we can all be fine.
Sara: I did nothing wrong. Your relationship is weird. (My name) is weird. His relationship with your family is weird, and I should be the one making you apologize.
Me: I get why you're upset, but things Finn said in the past are not my fault, and I'm sure there are some things people say where they're drunk that they don't-
So at this point, Sara got red in the face and just began screaming. Watching this play out in real time, the first thought in my head was "She needs a fucking exorcism." Most of what she was saying couldn't even be understood, but I made out things like "He fucking knew" and "Why would you tell him you said that, I knew you two had something going on."
W. T. F. So at that point Finn's parents and siblings had finally came outside because of Sara and they asked what's going on. I try to explain, but Sara just starts screaming that I'm a "dirty dog that needs to be put down." I guess to cool the situation down, after a little convincing Finns mom is able to get Sara into the house. Finns sister also went inside with them, leaving only me, Finn, Finn's older brother, and Finn's dad outside. I explain my side of the story and then Finn explains his side. We spoke about the talk Finn and I had at my apartment on Saturday. He received some teasing for the weird comment he made about me, but the conversation became serious again. Eventually Finn's mom and sister come back outside. They say that Sara is in the bathroom cleaning herself up. His mom starts the conversation with "Are you two messing around?" I'm. Fucking. FLOORED. I fill her in on everything she is yet to know. I tell her that I've never flirted, kissed, or doing anything else that was not platonic with Finn.
I'm guessing Sara was listening in through the backdoor instead of just coming out, because as soon as the words left my mouth she came out screaming at me that I'm a liar. I ask her at what point have I ever made her feel like I'm chasing after Finn. I mean I'm helping to fund their damn wedding. Finn parents are trying to help her understand that everything is being misunderstood, but she isn't having it. She kept yelling until the point where Finn had to pull her aside. It started off as a yelling match between them, but then things finally began to calm down and I thought she understood and we could talk it out. RIGHT???? WRONG!!!
Color me fucking surprised when she walks back over like everything is fine and slaps me. After the long period of silence and shock, I was just done and I was like "I'm out." Finn and Sara begin yelling at eachother again but at that point of couldn't have cared any less. I head back inside to grab my things cause I'm done with the situation.
Eventually Sara's screams at Finn go from calling him names to her saying "I'm sorry" and "give it back". Finn yelled at her to stop. Hell, even I was scared and I didn't even do anything. He then said something like "I let you have the wedding how you wanted. I've never given you a reason to doubt me.The fact that you're just yelling and screaming here like a toddler is honestly something I'm not looking for in a partner. You make up this fake scenario in your head, and why?? What good does that do. You're pissed about a comment made at a party before we even dated, and that is crazy to me. You won't apologize. You won't listen. I should took the ring the moment you slapped him. Nobody in this house has EVER disrespected everyone else like you've done today."
Finn came inside as well, and began grabbing his things. He told his parents that he's gonna sleep in his old bedroom upstairs for a few nights which they were fine with. I knew Sara had driven over with him, and before anything, no matter what they went through he should make sure he gets her home safe. After I spoke to him about taking her home he agreed. Everyone had finished grabbing their things around the same time with me, Finn, Sara, and his siblings all heading to our cars at the same time.
The entire time, I was surprised but not interested when Sara began apologizing to me. I mean, I didn't even want her to apologize in the first place, but just treat me with the kindness I offered to her. Why did we have to go through all of this for you to realize that you're just being downright nasty. I'm not sure if she's been cheated on in the past or if it's some kind of trauma or something, but it's also not for me to figure out.
Finn ended up dropping her off, and I'm guessing he called me by the time he got back to his parents place. I didn't even answer because I was just tired and the entire confrontation drained me. It definitely could have went better, and I hoped that this would be something that could be easily fixed, instead it destroyed a relationship which I feel shitty about.
It's Monday after noon and there is still no word on if Finn and Sara have even spoke to eachother this morning. I haven't spoken to anyone this morning either, but Finn did send me a few tiktok videos. I think it's just sad because even with the way she treated me, I think their relationship was a beautiful thing, and it socks that things such as jealousy and misunderstandings can be silent killers to a relationship. I thank you all for the advice and for pushing me towards talking to someone about this. I wish things could have ended differently, but as some of you said, this should be a wake up call towards both Finn and I. I'm not sure what will come of everything. Maybe they will reconcile eventually, but I think for now the wedding may be off.
Relevant Comments
MissMew0417: I just want to say that I have a lot of respect on how you handled the situation. I'm sorry that things devolved the way that they did.
OOP: Thank you. I feel bad as well, but more so for Finn since his years long relationship just went up in flames.StrongTxWoman: She is a homophobe and she hit OP. So many eye witnesses. OP can press charges literally.
Don't accept those fake apologies. She just wants her wedding. She is not sorry. She is only sorry she caught red handed.
I am sure her family and friends will believe her lies. She probably is one of those MAGA people.
Good riddances.
OOP From what I know about her, half of her family doesn't talk to her. I don't know why tho. Also, I also felt like she was a homophobe after she made the dog comment. I doubt she'd be back around us after Finn's parents have seen that side of her. They messaged all of us (excluding Sara) explaining their dislike for the situation and how they think it's best if Sara doesn't visit.Beneficial_Syrup_869: You’re amazing for the way you respect their relationship and handled that mess last night! The fact that she thought slapping you in front of a group of people who love you and for them to agree to kick you out of their lives because the delusion she created in her mind is mind boggling? She doesn’t not seem mentally well, especially if half her family doesn’t talk to her.
I don’t believe their relationship is as good as you think it was, her mask started slipping a while ago. Hopefully, for the sanity of your family and Finn they part ways, cause imagine how jealous she’d be if he gave a baby attention.
OOP: If there is something mentally wrong, I hope she can get the help she needs. I do wonder if her family cutting her off ties in to the mental issues. If that is the case and the wedding is off, I hope they use the money from any refunds they get to get Sara therapy or something.malYca: Why do you feel bad? Your best friend was spared marrying and possibly breeding with an insane covert narcissist. You guys should be celebrating. You're too afraid to rock the boat and that's going to bite you more than help you. If you had addressed this after the first instance, I bet it wouldn't have blown up like it has. Your people will always value you, even if you don't value yourself. If they're with someone that hates you, that's going to be a deal breaker for them and that's ok. Stand up for yourself more.
OOP: I would say it's a bittersweet feeling. I'm glad her mask fell as people say, and Finn saw her for who she was if he hadn't already. But also I'm never happy to see people who go through things like this.
Update #3: March 20, 2024
Update 3: I think my (23M) best friend's (24M) fiance hates me and I don't know why.
Hello Reddit,
It has been almost a week since my initial post and I can't thank you all enough for all the advice. Even the people who called me out on being a doormat, thank you. Since my last update a lot has happened.
I want to start things out by flat out saying that their isn't a chance of reconciliation between Finn and Sara, and after reading everything and really taking a stepback to see how this situation was definitely a blessing, I'm happy with the outcome. Since the major fallout, me and Finn have spoken a lot about not only being open and honest with eachother about things that bother us, but to also establish boundaries for our future partners (Not that either of us are getting out there.)
Yesterday evening, Finn and I went over to the apartment he shares with Sara to retrieve his belongings. When we got there, Sara wasn't home so that was a relief. It was a bit of work to get all of his things bagged/boxed up and put in the rental, but luckily we got everything.
I actually live in a decent sized apartment, so Finn is gonna stay with me until he settles everything with the place he had with Sara. Finn along with the rest of his family ended up blocking Sara, with Finn blocking her after they spoke a final time this morning. I was around during the conversation and there was another moment where you all really helped.
I'm guessing Finn did take notes from you all because he spoke for a long period about how she has things that she needs to work on before looking for a relationship with some of them being the ability to love herself and dealing with her mental health as well as she is clearly not in a good state. There was a lot more, but that is just to make a long story short.
She asked him was there really no chance that things could work out between them. He told her no, not only because of what he had just said, but because she disrespected him, me, and the rest of his family. He told her he should have put his foot down a long time ago, and it's just as much his fault as it is hers that things got this far. He told her that he wished the best for her, and when she is ready for a relationship and the right time comes, then that will be that. There was a long moment of silence and then she ended the call, and he blocked her not long after. I'm not sure how the wedding cancelations and all that good stuff will work, but I'm sure we'll handle it.
As far as me and Finn's relationship goes, I feel really happy. I feel like I got my best friend back, and it's crazy how you don't realize how different the energy in friendships become when you are in situations like that for that long. I can admit that no, none of this was NOT my fault, HOWEVER I could have spoke up about it not only for myself but for Finn as well.
Maybe the two of us along with the rest of the family should take a trip somewhere, taking time for ourselves. I think this whole situation has been very eye opening for both me and Finn and there needs to be some changes, ESPECIALLY with us and our communication, because as you all said, it wouldn't have gotten this far had we spoke on it. That's pretty much it.
There wasn't a crazy fight scene where the police bust in and take Sara away. I think that Sara DEFINITELY needs to get her shit together, but we also have to better ourselves as well, and some of you have made me very aware of the pushover I can be. :) You've all given me so much guidance and that really warms my heart. I actually cried a little, because almost a week ago, I felt so hopeless.
This will most likely be the last update, but before I go I'll answer some of your questions that I felt shouldn't go ignored. Also, I read EVERY. SINGLE. COMMENT. And even if I didn't respond, best believe I took it to heart and I am forever grateful.
Okay, First Question...
Why do you think their relationship was a beautiful thing? I can't say my words were misconstrued, but I will say that I expressed myself and my thoughts the wrong way. What I was trying to convey was not the beauty of their relationship, but the beauty of relationships and the idea of relationships as a whole. I hope both Finn and Sara find their person when they are ready.
Why do you feel bad? This was another case of me expressing my thoughts poorly. I don't feel bad that Finn got out of that situation. I'm happy that he's out of that toxic environment before things got even more messy. What I felt bad about was that there was a situation to even begin with, and if my best friend his hurting, I can't help but feel bad.
Being a rebound for Finn? No. Absolutely not. If there were to ever be something between me and Finn, it would be under full understanding that we are in it for eachother. Not saying that it would ever even happen, but what good would a rebound do besides hurting eachother? Once again not claiming to have feelings for him, but even if I did I wouldn't use this ass a chance to start anything with him with emotions everywhere.
The last time I heard from my family? A few months before I started college which was many years ago. I wish them the best, just not around me.
Have you and Finn cleared up what your relationship is meant to be? Yes, we definitely have, especially with the help of you all. I made it known to Finn that it's fine to feel however you feel towards me or anyone, but you have to understand who you are and what you want out of relationships with people whether it's friendships, lovers, etc. Someone said platonic soulmates and that definitely suits us, haha.
Why did Sara's family disown her? That remains unknown. If I ever find out, I'll let you all know. I wish her the best as well, just not around me.
Has Sara ever physically abused Finn? No. He has said that they argued consistently, but there was never any hands laid on one another.
Did you file a police report against Sara? No I did not, but do not worry. Since it all happened on the back porch, it had been picked up on the camera and I have it saved to my phone if I ever need it which I doubt.
How have your partners felt about Finn? Never had one.
I think that pretty much wraps it up!! If anyone has any more questions, I'll do my best to answer. If this wasn't the update you expected, still treat me kindly. Once again I love you all so much. ❤️❤️❤️
Relevant Comments
PtarmiganTzar: It’s as happy of an update as we could hope for. I hope he will be okay. A thought though. I know it is great to have him around and be best friends again, and your support is incredible! But because your relationship was the thing she latched onto to cause her mental break down of the relationship, maybe him staying with his family might be best for a bit? I would just hate for her to start spreading rumors that y’all have to awkwardly fight off
OOP: Finn works under his dad, and they work every day. Also, I live a good distance away from their apartment, and my area has great surveillance.❤️ I will take your concern into consideration though.hoeticxjustice: How did Finn’s parents feel? Considering they watched you guys grow up
OOP: They both, along with Finns siblings, have always been always been supportive of any decisions Finn and I made. When they were told that things were off with Sara, they completely understood, just like when Finn decided he didn't see want college, or I decided I did. They truly are amazing❤️
Mini Update 1: March 24, 2024
Hi to those still out there!! :D A little has happened since everything went down. We are currently at a vacation cabin, and the picture is a trail that we had took a walk on. Finn is doing really well and his parents as well as the rest of us are really happy to have him around a lot more. I've lived in the city all my life, so to see those huge hills is crazy, haha.
Also, I guess Sara has been up as well. Since Finn and Sara basically have the same friend group, he saw a picture from someone else's page of Sara out at the club. He seemed indifferent to it, so I guess he's also learning to let it go if he hasn't already. Finn's parents and siblings leave tomorrow afternoon for either work or other reasons, but Finn and I decided to stay at the cabin for a while longer.
https://imgur.com/a/hxPwFmI
----NEW UPDATE----
Mini Update 2: April 24, 2024Hi everyone!! I know it's been a while, a little over a month since you've last heard from me and a few people asked for an update.
Nothing much has happened. I finished playing elden ring, which was a pretty fun game (besides the parts where I raged). I also thought I may have met a guy, but our views on things were a bit too different for my liking, which is okay.
Finn in still staying with me, and the only problem is him wanting to use my Xbox 24/7 (I'm kidding lol). I really don't know much about Sara. I heard she's with a new guy, but eh. Rumors are rumors.
A funny thing that did happen was Finn and I getting scolded by his parents once we got back from the trip. The whole communication is key thing that they literally hammered into our head the entire trip.
I would say that things are going good. I hope you are all doing good as well.❤️
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.31 01:29 rpkat [F4A/M] various plots
Hi there! I’m 26, CST, and female!
SFW ONLY.
Message me with your age, timezone (US Timezones Preferred), what plot you’re interested in, and a sample of your writing if you’re interested!
Partner requirements: must be 21 to 35 years old - Must play male - write in third person - 2+ paragraphs - must be able to post once a day - Discord Only. - No asterisks - Proper grammar and punctuation please.
Super into enemies to lovers and/or love triangles right now.
Also would love to do something ACOTAR inspired or Hades x Persephone.
Cool, confident characters only. I am not interested in shy/reserved/soft/etc.
Alien x Superhero This is meant to be sort of Avenger-ish with aliens not being liked on Earth. I was thinking maybe your character is one of the heroes against the whole aliens being on the Earth. There’s a march being rumored to happen where aliens wanting to gain citizenship and demand the end of their races being killed. What your character doesn’t know is that his beloved girlfriend is an alien (my character). She’s a shapeshifter type that’s been sneaking out of the house lately for meetings concerning the march.
Rivals I have a few ideas for this one. One resolving around two college aged adults going to the same college, their parents are mafia rivals. Slowly they fall for each other before finding out who they really are, or even an arranged sort of marriage that ties both families together and ends the rivalry... just for a while.
Arranged Marriage: Looking for a more modern to almost futuristic kind of setting. Our characters being forced to marry each other due to a war ending or some other sort of treaty. I would be more than happy to also have some fantasy elements in this.
The Selection: Basically a slightly futuristic twist on the BacheloBachelorette. One prince or princess comes of age and must go through an event called The Selection where they must find love from a specific amount of contestants.
Royal Mistake: a prince from another country comes to America for school under a disguise and fake name, and falls for a regular American commoner.. It calls for big scandals if anyone finds out who the noble in disguise really is.
Fake Fiancée: Y/C and his fiancée have recently called things off. There’s only one real problem to this... He was supposed to bring her to meet the family at a huge family reunion/wedding/event of your choice. He resorts to calling M/C his college best friend or his best friend’s sister… we can discuss that a bit more.
submitted by rpkat to Roleplay [link] [comments]
SFW ONLY.
Message me with your age, timezone (US Timezones Preferred), what plot you’re interested in, and a sample of your writing if you’re interested!
Partner requirements: must be 21 to 35 years old - Must play male - write in third person - 2+ paragraphs - must be able to post once a day - Discord Only. - No asterisks - Proper grammar and punctuation please.
Super into enemies to lovers and/or love triangles right now.
Also would love to do something ACOTAR inspired or Hades x Persephone.
Cool, confident characters only. I am not interested in shy/reserved/soft/etc.
Alien x Superhero This is meant to be sort of Avenger-ish with aliens not being liked on Earth. I was thinking maybe your character is one of the heroes against the whole aliens being on the Earth. There’s a march being rumored to happen where aliens wanting to gain citizenship and demand the end of their races being killed. What your character doesn’t know is that his beloved girlfriend is an alien (my character). She’s a shapeshifter type that’s been sneaking out of the house lately for meetings concerning the march.
Rivals I have a few ideas for this one. One resolving around two college aged adults going to the same college, their parents are mafia rivals. Slowly they fall for each other before finding out who they really are, or even an arranged sort of marriage that ties both families together and ends the rivalry... just for a while.
Arranged Marriage: Looking for a more modern to almost futuristic kind of setting. Our characters being forced to marry each other due to a war ending or some other sort of treaty. I would be more than happy to also have some fantasy elements in this.
The Selection: Basically a slightly futuristic twist on the BacheloBachelorette. One prince or princess comes of age and must go through an event called The Selection where they must find love from a specific amount of contestants.
Royal Mistake: a prince from another country comes to America for school under a disguise and fake name, and falls for a regular American commoner.. It calls for big scandals if anyone finds out who the noble in disguise really is.
Fake Fiancée: Y/C and his fiancée have recently called things off. There’s only one real problem to this... He was supposed to bring her to meet the family at a huge family reunion/wedding/event of your choice. He resorts to calling M/C his college best friend or his best friend’s sister… we can discuss that a bit more.
2024.05.31 01:28 rpkat [F4A playing Male] The Contract
No Smut
Partners and their characters must be AT LEAST 22 and no older than 38
Your character is a well known celebrity! This could include a hockey player, race car driver, senator, musician, other athletes, movie star, etc. Lately he has been all over the media and not for the right reason. He’s been out partying, getting caught doing drugs, with a new woman every night, and / or getting into fights. The press has been laying into him with each new circumstance and it’s starting to affect his career, badly. And what’s the best way to make everyone think he’s not a huge playboy? Get a serious girlfriend that makes it look like he’s calmed down just for her. She’s the one that keeps him out of trouble.
Bad part is, he doesn’t have that, but he does have money and with an app made for sugar babies he might be able to find the right girl to get his reputation back in line with.
OR
Our characters are both celebrities and needing a boost in publicity somehow. Their managers come together to make them into some super cute power couple. The only issue is that the two of them cannot stand each other when they’re not in front of the cameras or out in public. Even then that’s a hard time for them to get along.
Hey there! I’m female and 26 years old. I’m looking for someone to roleplay this plot (or the others on my profile) with me! This will be safe for work and done via discord. You MUST be able to write in third person. I would like at least one good paragraph to two paragraphs per reply and someone that can reply daily. I get that people get busy, but please don’t leave me hanging. I love drama and romance in my stories while also making friends out of character. I like to send tons of references ranging from pictures to quotes to Tiktoks. Please send a message or chat with your age, writing sample, and any ideas you have or what your character will be like!
submitted by rpkat to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]
Partners and their characters must be AT LEAST 22 and no older than 38
Your character is a well known celebrity! This could include a hockey player, race car driver, senator, musician, other athletes, movie star, etc. Lately he has been all over the media and not for the right reason. He’s been out partying, getting caught doing drugs, with a new woman every night, and / or getting into fights. The press has been laying into him with each new circumstance and it’s starting to affect his career, badly. And what’s the best way to make everyone think he’s not a huge playboy? Get a serious girlfriend that makes it look like he’s calmed down just for her. She’s the one that keeps him out of trouble.
Bad part is, he doesn’t have that, but he does have money and with an app made for sugar babies he might be able to find the right girl to get his reputation back in line with.
OR
Our characters are both celebrities and needing a boost in publicity somehow. Their managers come together to make them into some super cute power couple. The only issue is that the two of them cannot stand each other when they’re not in front of the cameras or out in public. Even then that’s a hard time for them to get along.
Hey there! I’m female and 26 years old. I’m looking for someone to roleplay this plot (or the others on my profile) with me! This will be safe for work and done via discord. You MUST be able to write in third person. I would like at least one good paragraph to two paragraphs per reply and someone that can reply daily. I get that people get busy, but please don’t leave me hanging. I love drama and romance in my stories while also making friends out of character. I like to send tons of references ranging from pictures to quotes to Tiktoks. Please send a message or chat with your age, writing sample, and any ideas you have or what your character will be like!
2024.05.30 03:45 Ok_Government_4603 The Cube of Force Incident
C/W; Antisemitism
This story comes from the very first D&D campaign my friends and I ever played in. We were all pretty bored during the early days of covid and wanted to add something new to our rotation of games to keep us feeling connected. Everyone mentioned in this story other than myself had played one session before this campaign with a DM off of Fiverr. In total there were six of us playing; The DM, the Barbarian, the Bard, the Paladin, the Rogue, and myself (who played a very cool druid if you ask me). While this story is primarily about the titular Cube of Force incident our Rogue caused (as well as other shenanigans he got up to), I've got a "mini horror" for everyone else just to share the love.
I do want to give a little context to the relative dynamic of my group of friends for some additional info. I had known all of these guys for at least three years, though I had known the Bard and Rogue for 14 years at this point. It was well known that Rogue had a pretty bad upbringing due to his less than stellar parents. We had known this and were always trying to be a support system for him when possible because he was our friend and we wanted the best for him. At various points in his friendships with all of us he had various fallings out with the group, though we always welcomed him back because we were worried about what he would do if he no longer had a group of friends supporting him. However, our good will was running very thin around the time this campaign started. Without making this paragraph too long, he called one of our friends not in this campaign his "favorite n-word". We yelled at him about it for days before he offered up a lack luster apology and we warned him that we wouldn't tolerate much more of that.
Anyway, dungeons and dragons. Our group was playing Lost Mines of Phandelver and sticking pretty close to the book. I have a rapid fire list of our "mini horrors" that we all like to look back and laugh at now that we've played for a while.
Now we reach the titular Cube of Force incident. We had taken three weeks off of playing to let our DM properly plan the story so he had stuff to work with when we inevitably went off the rails. During this time we got to know our Bard's new girlfriend by gaming with her. She was really interested in playing D&D with us, so we invited her and she rolled up an Aasimar bard - I will call her Aasimar to avoid double bard confusion. Our friend Rogue referred to with a slur also joined as an Artificer. He was a bit more hesitant about joining, but ultimately did it because he wanted to hang out with us more. We talked to Rogue a lot leading up to our next session about sensitivity and why he needs to think before saying shit that could easily offend or upset people. Artificer isn't relevant to the story beyond this point, I just felt bad leaving him out. Aasimar is jewish, which is a detail that is tragically relevant to this story.
During this first session of the homebrew campaign the new characters were introduced and we got involved in a pretty intense combat. After a few rounds we ended up fighting an invisible stalker in a cramped hallway. We dealt with some fun rogue antics during this fight, like him forgetting sneak attack, him getting mad he didn't get extra attack, him not understanding why the spellcasters had more spell slots than him (he was an arcane trickster), and him just zoning out. He had zoned out while we were pinpointing the invisble stalker's location by baiting attacks of opportunity since the stalker liked to move each round. When he zoned back in he screamed at us for being morons for "running away from the monster that's right there" before he attacked the empty space the invisble stalker left. His strategic genius knows no bounds.
During his next turn he decided he wanted to use the cube of force to wall off the invisible stalker in part of the hallway that had no exit. This was actually a good plan, but there was one small issue with it - he wanted to use two-weapon fighting afterwards. Our DM explained why that wouldn't work, and the rogue then spent fifteen agonizing minutes trying to come up with different sequences of events that would let him two-weapon fighting and activate the cube of force. At one point he also tried adding drinking a potion to that combination as if THAT was the key to solving this nightmare of a rules misunderstanding. After that argument, Rogue decided he would just attack and do nothing else because "DM is being a fucking Jew about actions". That, my dear reader, was the end of his time playing D&D. We stopped everything and took turns yelling at him about why that wasn't remotely okay to say and that this was it. He promptly kicked him from the campaign and he then didn't speak to any of us for six months. He crawled back to us briefly before we all agreed that we much preferred not having him around and we kicked him from our discord server. Bard and Myself went nuclear and blocked the dude on everything, and I mean everything. I dug up my 3DS just to remove him.
We still play the game as a group. Bard, Paladin, and I have all DMed campaigns to various degrees of completion at this point. We've kept the same core group, though a few friends have joined for a bit before deciding D&D isn't their cup of tea. We still adore this game and the tabletop hobby as a whole. I know this story follows the whole 'several paragraphs of lore before asshole mcgee says a slur' format, but I wanted to share this story after realizing how often I cited small events from this campaign to new players about examples of being a problem player and how players can either grow past those behaviors or delve deeper into the asshattery.
Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this! I've needed a writing outlet since I never bothered to finish my english minor in college, lol.
tl;dr - Rogue player is a general twat and then gets antisemitic.
submitted by Ok_Government_4603 to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]
This story comes from the very first D&D campaign my friends and I ever played in. We were all pretty bored during the early days of covid and wanted to add something new to our rotation of games to keep us feeling connected. Everyone mentioned in this story other than myself had played one session before this campaign with a DM off of Fiverr. In total there were six of us playing; The DM, the Barbarian, the Bard, the Paladin, the Rogue, and myself (who played a very cool druid if you ask me). While this story is primarily about the titular Cube of Force incident our Rogue caused (as well as other shenanigans he got up to), I've got a "mini horror" for everyone else just to share the love.
I do want to give a little context to the relative dynamic of my group of friends for some additional info. I had known all of these guys for at least three years, though I had known the Bard and Rogue for 14 years at this point. It was well known that Rogue had a pretty bad upbringing due to his less than stellar parents. We had known this and were always trying to be a support system for him when possible because he was our friend and we wanted the best for him. At various points in his friendships with all of us he had various fallings out with the group, though we always welcomed him back because we were worried about what he would do if he no longer had a group of friends supporting him. However, our good will was running very thin around the time this campaign started. Without making this paragraph too long, he called one of our friends not in this campaign his "favorite n-word". We yelled at him about it for days before he offered up a lack luster apology and we warned him that we wouldn't tolerate much more of that.
Anyway, dungeons and dragons. Our group was playing Lost Mines of Phandelver and sticking pretty close to the book. I have a rapid fire list of our "mini horrors" that we all like to look back and laugh at now that we've played for a while.
- The Bard was very adamant about always being involved in situations - including melee combat. He would always run into the front lines to cast his spells. Before anyone asks, all of his spells were ranged and he was a lore bard. I don't think he made a single weapon attack across our whole campaign. This man's mind is truly an enigma.
- Our Barbarian was almost certainly fudging his rolls. The man had 5 stats at 18 or higher starting at level 1. He was a standard human and we had rolled stats - so it was theoretically possible - but extremely unlikely. He also almost always succeeded on every d20 roll he made, regardless of the circumstance. His good stats obviously increased his totals for checks, but you'd still expect failures decently often. For barbarian, it was about 1 in every 15 rolls that failed.
- The Paladin did not believe in consequences (at first). When we first rolled into Phandalin he found a child and threw them as hard as possible into the air before catching them. He got banned from the tavern for that because the kid was the owner's. We then went into a store and after talking to the shop keep, the Paladin slammed his face into the counter to intimidate him into cheaper prices. We were promptly banned from the store.
- The DM didn't actually read the rules before running this campaign. Like, not even checking out the basic rules. We had a lot of rulings change throughout the campaign as we learned how the game actually worked. This may be a surprise, but the game functions much better when played as intended rather than by six dumb college kids who haven't eaten a real meal in three days.
- I'm sorry to betray your trust dear reader, but I too was not perfect. You see, I am a severe loot goblin. I'm happy to share the stuff, I just want to be the first to get the item so I can read about everything it does. I really love knowing things, and getting the loot would let me think of cool ways to use it (if possible). I found a pile of loot once and tried to keep it secret just so I could examine it all. I got busted by a party member and they then cut me out of the loot sharing; I didn't love that, but also felt it was fair enough. I would also sometimes fudge my rolls if I was rolling super shit. We were playing on D&D Beyond before the game log was added, so no one could see rolls you made on it. I stopped this habit when I tried re-rolling a nat 1 twice and got a nat 1 on both re-rolls. The dice gods sent me a message and I listened.
- Anytime a player referred to a character by their player's name, he would loudly interrupt the conversation to yell "WHO???". This was his very cool way of trying to get us more immersed in the story. Totally unrelated, but he refused to share any tidbit of his very awesome backstory (dead parents, wants revenge).
- Never once actually bothered to learn how his character worked and then complained about how terrible he was compared to everyone else. I think he used sneak attack about four times across 20+ sessions.
- Would ask if he could use two-weapon fighting after doing actions completely unrelated to attacking.
- Got annoyed by other players taking too long while simultaneously taking 10+ minutes to take a turn in combat or make a simple decision
- Groped a barmaid with mage hand
- When we fought the young green dragon at Thundertree, he decided to instead be halfway across the town fighting giant spiders and yelled at us to come help him. We told him to just dash + disengage to safely escape. This was a bad suggestion and we were bad party members for suggesting that.
- When negotiating with the cult in Thundertree, our barbarian announced "don't follow me inside, I'll pretend I don't know you and attack". After two minutes of talking, the rogue decided to follow him in before promptly being attacked. He threw a fit for ten minutes before we all muted him on discord and continued playing.
- Caused us to cancel two different sessions because he decided to door dash instead at the last minute. He then got mad at us for telling him it was disrespectful to us to just bail at the last minute.
- Would argue that his character could use various loot better than anyone else, only to never actually use the item. He had the staff of protection for 15 sessions and never once cast a spell from it. I had to debate like a lawyer to get the ring of protection from the necromancer later in the campaign.
- Later in the campaign he would try to shoot down any suggestions about what to do/where to go from any player that disagreed with him.
- For the final session of our campaign, he just didn't show up. We messaged him for an hour before meeting because he wasn't responding before we ultimately decided to play without him. He had been asleep and woke up 30 minutes after the session started. Rather than join late, he just didn't join at all because "we were basically already done". After that message was sent, we played for another four hours - making it the longest session our group has ever played.
Now we reach the titular Cube of Force incident. We had taken three weeks off of playing to let our DM properly plan the story so he had stuff to work with when we inevitably went off the rails. During this time we got to know our Bard's new girlfriend by gaming with her. She was really interested in playing D&D with us, so we invited her and she rolled up an Aasimar bard - I will call her Aasimar to avoid double bard confusion. Our friend Rogue referred to with a slur also joined as an Artificer. He was a bit more hesitant about joining, but ultimately did it because he wanted to hang out with us more. We talked to Rogue a lot leading up to our next session about sensitivity and why he needs to think before saying shit that could easily offend or upset people. Artificer isn't relevant to the story beyond this point, I just felt bad leaving him out. Aasimar is jewish, which is a detail that is tragically relevant to this story.
During this first session of the homebrew campaign the new characters were introduced and we got involved in a pretty intense combat. After a few rounds we ended up fighting an invisible stalker in a cramped hallway. We dealt with some fun rogue antics during this fight, like him forgetting sneak attack, him getting mad he didn't get extra attack, him not understanding why the spellcasters had more spell slots than him (he was an arcane trickster), and him just zoning out. He had zoned out while we were pinpointing the invisble stalker's location by baiting attacks of opportunity since the stalker liked to move each round. When he zoned back in he screamed at us for being morons for "running away from the monster that's right there" before he attacked the empty space the invisble stalker left. His strategic genius knows no bounds.
During his next turn he decided he wanted to use the cube of force to wall off the invisible stalker in part of the hallway that had no exit. This was actually a good plan, but there was one small issue with it - he wanted to use two-weapon fighting afterwards. Our DM explained why that wouldn't work, and the rogue then spent fifteen agonizing minutes trying to come up with different sequences of events that would let him two-weapon fighting and activate the cube of force. At one point he also tried adding drinking a potion to that combination as if THAT was the key to solving this nightmare of a rules misunderstanding. After that argument, Rogue decided he would just attack and do nothing else because "DM is being a fucking Jew about actions". That, my dear reader, was the end of his time playing D&D. We stopped everything and took turns yelling at him about why that wasn't remotely okay to say and that this was it. He promptly kicked him from the campaign and he then didn't speak to any of us for six months. He crawled back to us briefly before we all agreed that we much preferred not having him around and we kicked him from our discord server. Bard and Myself went nuclear and blocked the dude on everything, and I mean everything. I dug up my 3DS just to remove him.
We still play the game as a group. Bard, Paladin, and I have all DMed campaigns to various degrees of completion at this point. We've kept the same core group, though a few friends have joined for a bit before deciding D&D isn't their cup of tea. We still adore this game and the tabletop hobby as a whole. I know this story follows the whole 'several paragraphs of lore before asshole mcgee says a slur' format, but I wanted to share this story after realizing how often I cited small events from this campaign to new players about examples of being a problem player and how players can either grow past those behaviors or delve deeper into the asshattery.
Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this! I've needed a writing outlet since I never bothered to finish my english minor in college, lol.
tl;dr - Rogue player is a general twat and then gets antisemitic.
2024.05.29 23:23 rpkat [F4A/M] various plots
Hi there! I’m 26, CST, and female!
no smut.
Message me with your age, timezone (US Timezones Preferred), what plot you’re interested in, and a sample of your writing if you’re interested!
Partner requirements: must be 22 to 38 years old - Must play male - write in third person - 2+ paragraphs - must be able to post once a day - Discord Only. - NO asterisks for actions.
Your own ideas are welcomed! Super into enemies to lovers and/or love triangles right now.
I really want to do something involving a mermaid. No specific plot or anything right now, happy to discuss it though!
Also would love to do something ACOTAR inspired or Hades x Persephone, also check out ‘The Contract’ and my mafia plot ideas!
Cool, cocky/confident characters only. I am not interested in shy/reserved/soft/etc.
Alien x Superhero This is meant to be sort of Avenger-ish with aliens not being liked on Earth. I was thinking maybe your character is one of the heroes against the whole aliens being on the Earth. There’s a march being rumored to happen where aliens wanting to gain citizenship and demand the end of their races being killed. What your character doesn’t know is that his beloved girlfriend is an alien (my character). She’s a shapeshifter type that’s been sneaking out of the house lately for meetings concerning the march.
Rivals I have a few ideas for this one. One resolving around two college aged adults going to the same college, their parents are mafia rivals. Slowly they fall for each other before finding out who they really are, or even an arranged sort of marriage that ties both families together and ends the rivalry... just for a little while.
Arranged Marriage: Looking for a more modern to almost futuristic kind of setting. Our characters being forced to marry each other due to a war ending or some other sort of treaty. I would be more than happy to also have some fantasy elements in this.
The Selection: Basically a slightly futuristic twist on the BacheloBachelorette. One prince or princess comes of age and must go through an event called The Selection where they must find love from a specific amount of contestants.
Royal Mistake: a prince from another country comes to America for school under a disguise and fake name, and falls for a regular American commoner.. It calls for big scandals if anyone finds out who the noble in disguise really is.
Fake Fiancée: Y/C and his fiancée have recently called things off. There’s only one real problem to this... He was supposed to bring her to meet the family at a huge family reunion/wedding/event of your choice. He resorts to calling M/C his college best friend or his best friend’s slightly younger sister… we can discuss that a bit more.
Fandoms: Spider-Man, Percy Jackson, ACOTAR, Harry Potter, Avatar the Last Airbender I do not play canon characters.
submitted by rpkat to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]
no smut.
Message me with your age, timezone (US Timezones Preferred), what plot you’re interested in, and a sample of your writing if you’re interested!
Partner requirements: must be 22 to 38 years old - Must play male - write in third person - 2+ paragraphs - must be able to post once a day - Discord Only. - NO asterisks for actions.
Your own ideas are welcomed! Super into enemies to lovers and/or love triangles right now.
I really want to do something involving a mermaid. No specific plot or anything right now, happy to discuss it though!
Also would love to do something ACOTAR inspired or Hades x Persephone, also check out ‘The Contract’ and my mafia plot ideas!
Cool, cocky/confident characters only. I am not interested in shy/reserved/soft/etc.
Alien x Superhero This is meant to be sort of Avenger-ish with aliens not being liked on Earth. I was thinking maybe your character is one of the heroes against the whole aliens being on the Earth. There’s a march being rumored to happen where aliens wanting to gain citizenship and demand the end of their races being killed. What your character doesn’t know is that his beloved girlfriend is an alien (my character). She’s a shapeshifter type that’s been sneaking out of the house lately for meetings concerning the march.
Rivals I have a few ideas for this one. One resolving around two college aged adults going to the same college, their parents are mafia rivals. Slowly they fall for each other before finding out who they really are, or even an arranged sort of marriage that ties both families together and ends the rivalry... just for a little while.
Arranged Marriage: Looking for a more modern to almost futuristic kind of setting. Our characters being forced to marry each other due to a war ending or some other sort of treaty. I would be more than happy to also have some fantasy elements in this.
The Selection: Basically a slightly futuristic twist on the BacheloBachelorette. One prince or princess comes of age and must go through an event called The Selection where they must find love from a specific amount of contestants.
Royal Mistake: a prince from another country comes to America for school under a disguise and fake name, and falls for a regular American commoner.. It calls for big scandals if anyone finds out who the noble in disguise really is.
Fake Fiancée: Y/C and his fiancée have recently called things off. There’s only one real problem to this... He was supposed to bring her to meet the family at a huge family reunion/wedding/event of your choice. He resorts to calling M/C his college best friend or his best friend’s slightly younger sister… we can discuss that a bit more.
Fandoms: Spider-Man, Percy Jackson, ACOTAR, Harry Potter, Avatar the Last Airbender I do not play canon characters.
2024.05.29 23:22 rpkat [F4A playing Male] The Contract
No Smut
Partners and their characters must be AT LEAST 22 and no older than 38
Your character is a well known celebrity! This could include a hockey player, race car driver, senator, musician, other athletes, movie star, etc. Lately he has been all over the media and not for the right reason. He’s been out partying, getting caught doing drugs, with a new woman every night, and / or getting into fights. The press has been laying into him with each new circumstance and it’s starting to affect his career, badly. And what’s the best way to make everyone think he’s not a huge playboy? Get a serious girlfriend that makes it look like he’s calmed down just for her. She’s the one that keeps him out of trouble.
Bad part is, he doesn’t have that, but he does have money and with an app made for sugar babies he might be able to find the right girl to get his reputation back in line with.
OR
Our characters are both celebrities and needing a boost in publicity somehow. Their managers come together to make them into some super cute power couple. The only issue is that the two of them cannot stand each other when they’re not in front of the cameras or out in public. Even then that’s a hard time for them to get along.
Hey there! I’m female and 26 years old. I’m looking for someone to roleplay this plot (or the others on my profile) with me! This will be safe for work and done via discord. You MUST be able to write in third person. I would like at least one good paragraph to two paragraphs per reply and someone that can reply daily. I get that people get busy, but please don’t leave me hanging. I love drama and romance in my stories while also making friends out of character. I like to send tons of references ranging from pictures to quotes to Tiktoks. Please send a message or chat with your age, writing sample, and any ideas you have or what your character will be like!
submitted by rpkat to roleplaying [link] [comments]
Partners and their characters must be AT LEAST 22 and no older than 38
Your character is a well known celebrity! This could include a hockey player, race car driver, senator, musician, other athletes, movie star, etc. Lately he has been all over the media and not for the right reason. He’s been out partying, getting caught doing drugs, with a new woman every night, and / or getting into fights. The press has been laying into him with each new circumstance and it’s starting to affect his career, badly. And what’s the best way to make everyone think he’s not a huge playboy? Get a serious girlfriend that makes it look like he’s calmed down just for her. She’s the one that keeps him out of trouble.
Bad part is, he doesn’t have that, but he does have money and with an app made for sugar babies he might be able to find the right girl to get his reputation back in line with.
OR
Our characters are both celebrities and needing a boost in publicity somehow. Their managers come together to make them into some super cute power couple. The only issue is that the two of them cannot stand each other when they’re not in front of the cameras or out in public. Even then that’s a hard time for them to get along.
Hey there! I’m female and 26 years old. I’m looking for someone to roleplay this plot (or the others on my profile) with me! This will be safe for work and done via discord. You MUST be able to write in third person. I would like at least one good paragraph to two paragraphs per reply and someone that can reply daily. I get that people get busy, but please don’t leave me hanging. I love drama and romance in my stories while also making friends out of character. I like to send tons of references ranging from pictures to quotes to Tiktoks. Please send a message or chat with your age, writing sample, and any ideas you have or what your character will be like!
2024.05.29 22:24 Relative_Policy_8050 i lost the love of my life and i don't know how to react.
back when i was 11 i asked a psychic who my soulmate is and when i will meet him. this psychic is very well known in my big city bc she predicted a lot of things. well she told me, and i quote
"you will meet him unusually and randomly at sunset on a cold winter night and you will be a teenager deep in love. his appearance is tall, muscular, and he has dark hair and nice eyes. he has a very distinct appearance {lists it out} and he lives in {city}. youll know it is him when you first meet him. be careful because u could lose him" something of that sort.
i didnt think about it and for many years i completely forgot about it. out of nowhere tho when im stalking instagram follows at around 7 pm in december (after sunset), my phone glitches and as im scrolling down im randomly transported to this guys profile named "james". when i tell yall i deeply fell in love with him am not even joking. i remembered what the psychic said and my gut was telling me that was him. he had the same coloring, same mole, same city, same build that she listed everything. he had lots of followers but barely followed anyone back so i just followed anyways. in 2 minutes he followed me back. now i was freaking out bc i remebered she told me i might lose him.
for a few months we didnt speak but he viewed all my stories. then my friend and I put a plan to action. i did my research, found the girls he thought where cute and i was like wait some of these look like me.. my friend texted him for me on her acc, teased him for WEEKS about a girl having a crush on him and he was so desperate to know it was cute. anyways she told him and showed pics, he reacted very positively and said he thought i was funny based off my stories. he aso paid close attention (ik that bc he read thru the paragraphs on my stories) and would always text my friend asking her about it. not only that but he followed me on my alt and my spam account which is so crazy.
and ever since that horrid night a few months ago, when we stopped speaking, he hasnt left my mind. he is one of the nicest, funniest, sweetest and most amazing guys i have ever met. i know for sure he is the love of my life, i feel it bc i have been with other guys and never fell in this typa love. i know this is cliche but this guy is my ideal type. i mean for this past year i have had dreams of him every night, our wedding, our children..... can u tell its bad loll.
well i havent had my phone for a long time and got a device to stalk his socials again. and he has a GIRLFRIEND NOW. HES SO INLOVE WITH HER NOW. i am crying because the love i had for him is the love he has for her too. i'm so sad. i tried shooting my shot everytime but nothing came out of it. he never told me he liked me back ior anything. ik hes shy but.. wow. the psychic wasnt wrong.
i cant date any guys, look at them the same and i never want to again. for james, if he's reading this, i am still in love with him. i respect him and his girlfriends relationship but i may never get over it. he is the type of guy you see once and chase for your whole life. if its true, that i may have to grow up and lose contact with him, i'll never be happy again.
i dont know what to do. thanks for reading this.
submitted by Relative_Policy_8050 to confessions [link] [comments]
"you will meet him unusually and randomly at sunset on a cold winter night and you will be a teenager deep in love. his appearance is tall, muscular, and he has dark hair and nice eyes. he has a very distinct appearance {lists it out} and he lives in {city}. youll know it is him when you first meet him. be careful because u could lose him" something of that sort.
i didnt think about it and for many years i completely forgot about it. out of nowhere tho when im stalking instagram follows at around 7 pm in december (after sunset), my phone glitches and as im scrolling down im randomly transported to this guys profile named "james". when i tell yall i deeply fell in love with him am not even joking. i remembered what the psychic said and my gut was telling me that was him. he had the same coloring, same mole, same city, same build that she listed everything. he had lots of followers but barely followed anyone back so i just followed anyways. in 2 minutes he followed me back. now i was freaking out bc i remebered she told me i might lose him.
for a few months we didnt speak but he viewed all my stories. then my friend and I put a plan to action. i did my research, found the girls he thought where cute and i was like wait some of these look like me.. my friend texted him for me on her acc, teased him for WEEKS about a girl having a crush on him and he was so desperate to know it was cute. anyways she told him and showed pics, he reacted very positively and said he thought i was funny based off my stories. he aso paid close attention (ik that bc he read thru the paragraphs on my stories) and would always text my friend asking her about it. not only that but he followed me on my alt and my spam account which is so crazy.
and ever since that horrid night a few months ago, when we stopped speaking, he hasnt left my mind. he is one of the nicest, funniest, sweetest and most amazing guys i have ever met. i know for sure he is the love of my life, i feel it bc i have been with other guys and never fell in this typa love. i know this is cliche but this guy is my ideal type. i mean for this past year i have had dreams of him every night, our wedding, our children..... can u tell its bad loll.
well i havent had my phone for a long time and got a device to stalk his socials again. and he has a GIRLFRIEND NOW. HES SO INLOVE WITH HER NOW. i am crying because the love i had for him is the love he has for her too. i'm so sad. i tried shooting my shot everytime but nothing came out of it. he never told me he liked me back ior anything. ik hes shy but.. wow. the psychic wasnt wrong.
i cant date any guys, look at them the same and i never want to again. for james, if he's reading this, i am still in love with him. i respect him and his girlfriends relationship but i may never get over it. he is the type of guy you see once and chase for your whole life. if its true, that i may have to grow up and lose contact with him, i'll never be happy again.
i dont know what to do. thanks for reading this.
2024.05.29 07:16 Wellian_Crow I'm at my limit, and I don't know how to move on. (TW: Loss of parents, addiction, breakup, and suicidal ideation)
(Disclaimer: this is essentially my life story, so I understand if you don't want to sit and read a full novel of some depressing fuck's cry for help, but I couldn't find a way to condense it, sorry.)
Life is shit right now. It's taken a long time for me to admit it, but there's just no more beating around the bush anymore. I'm trapped in a profound sadness that refuses to loosen it's hold on me, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to end it all, I never have, but I've just been through so much that it's hard to believe things could ever get better.
I'm 24(M), and 4 years ago I lost both of my parents, 10 months ago my girlfriend of 6 and a half years broke up with me, and just a few weeks ago the company I had been planning to work for over half my life shut its doors for good. Now I'm sat with no clear path forward and a brother trying to take what little I have left, and I just don't know how to move on.
I lost my dad on February 29th, 2020. He had been in and out of the hospital for the past couple months for constipation, didn't think much of it, he was 68 after all. One night I come in to visit him in the hospital and I walk in on a surgeon explaining something to him and my mother. It turns out that results from the latest test had come in and a polyp had burst in his large intestine, he was quickly developing sepsis and if they didn't operate soon he wouldn't see the sunrise. A few minutes to sort his thoughts and make some calls to my aunts for advice and he decided that the surgeon who talked to us was more than welcome to operate since he offered, it just so happened he was one of the highest rated gastro-intestinal surgeons in Texas (don't know if I got the name of the surgeon right, my bad). So they prep him for surgery and as they wheal him off to put him under he grabs onto my hand, with tears in his eyes, and says "Take care of your mother." He had a look in his eyes, he didn't think he'd get to open them again. But sure enough a few anxiety-inducing hours later the surgeon comes back out and lets us know that everything went off without a hitch, they managed to remove the blockage and clean everything up without issue. Dad spent the next week in recovery at that hospital, but I only managed to visit him there once. I hate hospitals, but I love my dad, so when I saw him in there, all strapped up with hoses poking in and out of him, I put a smile on and rubbed his feet like I always did (he broke both his legs and shattered an ankle years ago, the man was lucky to walk to begin with, so you'd better believe I'd help in any way I could). That's the last picture ever taken of me and my dad, with him strapped to a hospital bed and me giving him a foot massage. The next time I saw him he had been discharged without me knowing, so I headed back home to our rural town late one night when he said I could visit. I'd had a lot to think about then, I'd always thought I had so much more time with Dad, that I'd only have to say goodbye when I was good and ready and he had seen us through our biggest moments. By then I wasn't so sure, so I sat with him on that Friday night and just talked, for as long as I could. I told him the little things I'd been hanging on to for far too long, the kinds of things that didn't matter in the slightest but you'd never tell your parents because you're too embarrassed. I told him about how I bumped into someone at a stoplight right after high school, but I convinced the other guy not to get insurance involved because I didn't want him to know and end up costing him more money, so I just used all of my savings and my graduation gift to pay the guy off after he replaced his rear bumper. All dad had to say about that was "you should have gotten insurance involved, that's what it's for." We laughed, and he thanked me for telling him, said it proved that I was the man he always wanted me to be. We talked about a lot, I tried to hug him tight, but since the surgery was on his gut they couldn't just stitch him up. He was so bloated before the surgery that he looked pregnant, so the skin around his gut was delicate and they had to bandage him up and put this weird circulator on him to keep it clean. Either way, I hugged him as best I could, told him I loved him, that he should take it easy, and that I'd talk to him soon. I remember looking through the door as I walked away, he was just laid up in bed watching TV. I gave him a peace sign as I walk off, he always did the same, whether we were looking or not. That was 9:30 PM. At 6 the next morning I woke to my mom calling me in tears, she said dad was gone. They had spoken after I left, talked about what we discussed, and he said he couldn't get comfortable in bed so he'd moved over to the recliner in the living room. He didn't wake up. Later on when we finally got the reports back they said he had passed peacefully in his sleep due to a heart attack. Dad had heart problems before, he had a quadruple bypass when I was about 8 and a stint placed in later on due to a murmur in his heart, and ever since he'd been taking meds. There were so many little details that stuck with me from that day. He was wearing a pair of socks I gave him when I came back on the 29th. The night before he said he didn't think he'd wake back up after the surgery, but he did, which meant God wasn't done with him yet. I still remember the sound of my mom's sobs from behind the wall of my bed, my brother and I stayed with her for the first week afterwards.
I was always aware that I had a great life, but I had never lost anything so major, never had something so horrid and life-changing happen to me. One moment I was getting used to my new classes for the semester in college, and the next thing I knew my life had flipped ass over teakettle and the world was imploding. The combination of the pandemic hitting right as I experienced the worse loss of my life, in the middle of my second year of college, certainly didn't help either. To be honest, it's still a blur. I don't remember much of those months, only that the days blurred together as I barely perceived time passing. The semester ended, and one day when my brother are checking on Mom, she suddenly rushed out the door with a sack of vodka bottles in tow, got in her car, and drove off to work. We had worried she may have fallen off again, but had been hoping against hope she wouldn't. Mom had been alcohol my entire life, I won't get into it, but when we went to her work and my brother drove her home, we had to carry her upstairs ourselves after she fell into a potted plant with vomit on her shirt. Not too long after we staged an intervention and had her checked back into rehab. At the end of her first month she would decide if she'd stay for a second and third, and despite the pleas of my brother and I, she wouldn't listen. We said we were done with her. We had given her all the love and support we could, but if that wasn't going to work then we'd resort to our only other option and cut her out. When she checked out of rehab I drove her home. I thought I could try one last time to talk some sense into her, that maybe she'd listen to reason. In the end she just ignored me, so I said everything I could think to say. If it was going to be the last time I got to talk to her, then I'd make use of that ride home and tell her everything I could think of. Just like Dad. I dropped her off at the family home, gave her a hug, told her I loved her, and watched as she got smaller in the mirror as I drove away. About a week later on July 9th, I got a call from my brother and my Aunt, her little sister. She was gone. They found her in a CVS parking lot in her car, upside down. She had been there for hours. We don't know exactly what happened. She may have had a seizure. All we know is that the reports came back with "complications due to alcohol abuse and fatty liver."
After that, the estate fell to my brother and I as the sole inheritors. I'm thankful for everyone that came out of the woodworks to help us. Our aunts helped with the will and all of the proceedings that came after. A lot had to be done, and a 20 year old still in college (me) and a 24 year old fresh out of college (my brother), were not the ones capable to taking care of it all. It took months to sort it all out. Hell, some of it never got resolved because we just never knew what to do. What matters is that we had the time and space to grieve, and so I did.
It turns out I've always had depressive tendencies, but at this point I had fully developed an Anxiety and Depressive disorder. It came to a head one Summer day when I just couldn't take it anymore. I'd always wrestled with the concept of Death, that after everything that happens in your life it all just ends, nothing, just an end to all, void, nothingness. I hated it. It stills sends me into panic attacks to this day, and has since I was a child. That Summer day I hit rock bottom, and I couldn't think of anything else, because what else could matter if it was all going to end anyway? Why should I care? I'm not going to care when I'm gone, so why care now? It's not like I'll be around to regret leaving if I chose to end it all. These were the thoughts that flooded my mind, and they wouldn't go away. I took a walk. I went through my neighborhood, cut through the trees at the cul-de-sac near the bottom of the hill, and came to a path that led to a nearly dry creak. the water was barely flowing, but I was sweaty and I wanted to sit. So there I sat and contemplated it all. The absolute inconsequentiality of life and all its meaninglessness. I looked down and saw a rock, picked it up, and thought to myself just how long it would take to bash my brains out and end it all right there. Sure it would hurt, but only for so long, then it would be gone, and I'd stop hurting. I don't know how long I really sat there looking at that rock, but eventually a family of four came walking down the path and I had to get up to get out of their way since I was sitting in the middle of the path. I dropped the rock, let them pass, and walked back home. after that I called my friends, got the name and number for their doctor, and booked an appointment later that week. Ever since then I've been medicated and I'm better for it. I don't believe in those thoughts anymore, but it scares me that I got to a point that I nearly listened to them. I've back to that creek bed since, and it's actually very pretty right after a storm, when all the trees are still dripping with rainwater.
Fast-forward a few years and it's May 2023, I struggled and I stumbled, but I felt like I had made progress. I felt far from past it, but I was moving on. I graduated with a Bachelor's in Science for Art and Entertainment Technologies. I didn't know exactly what I'd do with it, but I felt like I could figure it out with the city I was in. I went up to celebrate my girlfriend's graduation a few weeks later up in Missouri, we had been together for six and a half years. We met in high school in the same friend group, stuck through college in a long-distance relationship, and I thought we would go all the way. Over that summer after we both graduated she had to take one last internship to finish up her degree. I visited when I had the chance, but over the course of the summer I worked to make sure the house lived in would be ready for her, ready for two people to live in together once we finally started our lives together. She spent another two and a half months in Missouri, and the day she got back on July 29th she broke up with me. She had her dad drive her down the night before, and she spent that night with me after the long trip. The next morning after waking up and having breakfast, she sat me down and said she didn't think we should be together anymore. It was something she decided on over the Summer, she said she'd been thinking about it for a bit and finally had a gut feeling that we should split up. There wasn't anyone else, she actually explained that it was the opposite. She had lived her entire life with barely any privacy. As the middle child of 6 children she rarely, if ever, got a moment to herself. She only ever had one room to herself, but even then it was in a smaller house with 4 other people, and no locks on her door. When she left for college she had to share a dorm with her roommate, and when she came back for the Winter and Summer breaks she stayed with me (I also have a housemate, so even then the privacy wasn't perfect). Over the course of that last Summer she finally had a room all to herself, a single dorm for 2 and a half months. During her internship it was the exact same, she worked in an archive, which are quiet on a bad day and silent as the grave every other day. Couple that with the fact that she only ever work with one other person (her supervisor), and that's if they worked with anyone else there at all, for 40 hours a week. She told me that summer gave her the alone time she never had the chance to take before, and spent a lot of it thinking, spending all the time she never got before to be alone with her thoughts. A couple weeks before she came back she had come to the conclusion that she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. She gave me a lot of reasons for want to split up, that being one of them. The biggest reason, one she said she couldn't ignore, was that she thought we were becoming two very different people. She said she didn't think we would work if we stayed together, that the way she saw us going, it just wasn't going to work out. She told me she still loved me, but when I asked if it was in the same way as before, she could only shake her head. I still regret asking that. She left with her sister later that day, and came back with her family the next to pack up all her things and leave. When she was busy inside, I took a moment to talk to them and ask if I did anything wrong, they all said no. They said she was just the most independent person they all knew, and that I had nothing to be sorry for. It didn't help. When they were done she gave me one last moment with her, one last tear-stained kiss goodbye, but when she turned in the driveway to hand me back the extra key to the house, I broke down. I stood by the door just long enough to watch their car fade from view as they drove away, then I went back inside and collapsed into a void of sorrow and self-pity.
That was 10 months ago. I'd like to say I've made progress, but some days it's hard to believe that. In the time since I've spent a lot of time on myself, learning who I was and what I wanted to be. The main sticking point I had with her reasoning was that she was so certain we were going to end up two completely different people, but I didn't even know who I wanted to be. If I didn't know who I was, let alone who I was going to be, how could she be so definitively certain? A lot of time and self-reflection brought up a plethora of questions I'd never thought to ask myself. With a rural backwoods public Texas education, it turns out that a lot of mental health issues can fall between the cracks. I found out that I'm on the Autism Spectrum (I get my full Psych Eval later this week, so that's nice), I learned that I'm demisexual, and also that I get extremely, soul-crushingly lonely when I'm single. All my best friends had to move out of state last February (it's a long story but I can explain if necessary), so when we split up I had next to no one to fall back on nearby. I had acquaintances and others I could call, but the people I loved the most were a 13 hour drive away. I made the trip when I could, but it just wasn't the same. It's ironic though, I found a therapy service through a podcast she introduced me to. I've been seeing a reliable and caring therapist for 9 and a half of the past 10 months, so I'm grateful for that. I've come to learn that even if the crushing loneliness hurts the most, finding a new relationship isn't the right step forward. I spent long enough trying to make that happen, now I know it can't fix anything, nor should it.
For a while I was starting to feel things turning around. Not so much getting better, but it was a start. Then It got to February, and along with it another tide of problems. My brother has always been the one to party, since he was in high school and all throughout college he was the one that got the drinks and people together. When we became independent he was the one that got on my ass about not wasting our inheritance and only using it when absolutely necessary. It's ironic then, that he was the one to call me in late Feb telling me he'd blown through it all and gone bankrupt. For this next part I need to provide some context, so I'm sorry if it drags on. I never planned on moving out of the family home, but mom and dad had waited long enough and wanted me out, so mom agreed to find a place for me to stay and provide housing until I graduated college. She was a realtor for a big real estate company for over 25 years, and it just so happened that the last neighborhood she sold from had a model home the company wanted to get rid of. She pulled some strings and in the end she got it for a steal, like half the market price for a house in the area, with a monthly payment similar to most apartments in the same city. I'm well aware of how privileged I was and still am to this day, I don't want people to think I don't recognize the luck I've been given. However, when our parents passed the entirety of the estate was split 50/50 between my brother and I. Meaning that the house that I lived in at the time, and still have for the past 4 and a half years, is only half mine. This never really sat well with me, so when I eventually brought it up with my brother and asked about becoming the sole owner of my house, he agreed that it was the right call. The problem, is that he told me that he hand over his half for half of what the house would be sold for at maximum market price. He didn't want what we'd paid for, he didn't want half of what it was bought at, nor did he want any reasonable price, he wanted the most amount of money he could get for a home that wasn't his, nor was ever meant to be his (I want y'all to know that I already feel like the most privileged asshole ever having typed all this out, sorry for sounding like a shithead). Somewhere along the way, he got it in his head that I had already agreed to pay what he wanted me to for his half, and when he called me late Feb and asked for money, he got upset with me when I told him that I didn't want to. He got angry and started talking about how I owed him for my house, how I already agreed to pay him and that he'd count whatever I gave him as the start to my payment for the property I've lived on for nearly 5 fucking years. I panicked, and though I regret it, I caved and gave him far too much money (more than I'm willing to admit), in hopes he'd leave me alone. Unfortunately over the past 4 months he's only gotten worse.
Before this time we (my brother and our Aunts) came to the conclusion that the family home we had turned into an Airbnb was no longer sustainable. While it had been profitable for a good few months in 2022, by late 2023 it had turned into a money sink. There was more and more wear and deferred maintenance popping up with each passing month that by the time 2024 rolled around we were forced to choose between selling it off or emptying the rest of our inheritance in an attempt to fix it back up with no promise that it would be worth it. It sucked to do it, I spend the first 20 years of my life in that house, but in the end we gave the go ahead and my Aunt helped us put it on the market when Feb rolled around. The housing market where it's built is extremely competitive, it's on the outskirts of a rural tourist town with a view to die for, so we didn't think it would be too much waiting around before we got an offer. That was 4 months ago, and we haven't heard a word since, even though the first estimate was 6 weeks to 6 months. The agent helping us with the house let us know that there were over 60 homes being sold in the surrounding area, with half of them at a very similar price point. I don't feel comfortable revealing exactly what the house is priced at, but to give an idea, the money I'd make off of selling it, even after being split in half and reduced by taxes, would be enough to completely pay off the mortgage on my house and then some. The kicker to all of this, is that the house isn't in perfect condition. Even considering all the detracting factors, I'd say the price we have the house listed at is more than fair for the area, but nobody wants to buy a fixer-upper at that price point, even if it is worth it. To make all these matter worse, I found out recently that my brother has STILL been holding house parties there, even though he has a perfectly good party place where he currently lives! I found out when my Aunt told me about a showing we were going to have, but my brother tried to call and tell her to postpone it because he was going to be having a party the day before the showing was scheduled. In the middle of all this, he texts me out of the blue, trying to get me to talk to him and discuss something. I'm having none of it and tell him that if he needs to get something off his chest, he can text me or leave me alone, I don't want to talk. So he ends up sending me full fucking paragraphs, going on about how he's hit rock bottom, how we have to close the joint account we've been using to pay all the shared bills and expenses, and how he's so sorry for being a shitty older brother. Near the end of it he throws in how he recently lost his girlfriend to a drunk driver and that he's in mourning. I went digging and it turns out the girl he mentioned, who did tragically pass in an accident and was heavily mourned in the community, was not in a relationship with him for the past year and a half. I didn't know this until a month later though, so this all came out of the blue in a time where I just wanted to be done with him, so now I had no clue what to think. The way he spoke and said all the right things to make me feel for him hurt, it made me want to drive over to his house and throw my arms around him and tell him that he'd be okay and he wasn't alone. Then we found out about the party, and he never stopped using the joint account for all the bullshit personal spending he'd been using for before at liquor stores and bars, so I got to see first-hand what all he was spending both of our shared funds on (this is only one account I put money into when we need to pay bills, the majority of my money is in my own personal savings account that he doesn't have any access to). In short: he made it real obvious that everything he said to us was a complete and total lie, after pleading with me and making me take on the task of cancelling half the bills we had tied to the joint account just to save him the time and effort. He manipulated me, and it was plain as day to see it.
Now I'm at a point where I just have to wait for something to happen. I can't do a damn thing to change my shitty situation with my brother and my home. I want to cut him off, become fully independent, and leave all the trauma I have with him, but I literally can't. I have to wait until the family house is sold or he tries to come after me and my livelihood. I tried my best to research my options, but there's nothing I can do with my house unless he signs over his portion to me, and he won't do that unless he gets what he wants. The only thing I've been able to think of is that I could possibly take him to court and argue that his actions caused the selling price of our family home to go down, but I don't even know if that's possible or what it would do for me. I don't want to sue my brother, I just want to be done with him. I want to scream and yell and make him understand the stress he's put me through, make him feel the pain he's caused me my entire life just for wanting him to like me. I want to make him know just how much it hurts to have put so much effort into someone that was never going to care in the first place, but more than anything, I just want to be done with him.
I did the math, and unfortunately I now know that I have a time limit for the family home to be sold. Meaning that if the home isn't sold by the new year and we have to pay the property taxes again, I'll be the one taking the full brunt of that responsibility. If that happens I will either not have enough money in my savings to cover that cost, or I'll have just enough to pay for it and have nothing left. Either way, with how much the maintenance of everything has been draining our finances, I'd have to sell my current home to pay for the costs after property taxes are dealt with. It would solve so many issues if I just sold off my house, but it would hurt so God damn much. I've put so much effort into this house to try and make it feel like a home, make it feel like my home. When the world was falling apart and I lost everything else, this one house and the memories I made here were what kept me going. There are days where it feels like it's all I've got left. The last thing I want is to lose this house. I know I'd end up fine. I'd have funds left over to take care of me after it's sold, and the family home would sell eventually, but none of that would matter. I can see how long I might have left in this house in the pages left on the calendar hanging from my wall, and all I can do is wait for the other shoe to drop to see if I'm losing this too. All I can do is sit and fester in this shitty void of depression and anguish while I wait to find out what happens. I hate it.
When I didn't think anything could get worse, just a handful of weeks ago I idly checked Facebook and saw that my ex, the love of my life, had found herself a new boyfriend. Soul-crushing couldn't begin to describe what I felt. I thought I'd made progress, thought I'd said goodbye to my desire to rekindle what we once had. I thought I'd finally started to move on, but I suppose I didn't know how wrong I could be. She had changed her profile picture to one with her and him standing together, arm in arm. She looked so God damn gorgeous. I couldn't get over the fact that she had never done that when we were together, I guess I still haven't. I'm not even mad at her, or him, or anyone, I'm just in pain. I want her to be happy, she deserves to be happy, but all I can focus on is just how much I miss her. I saw her post about how they went to the zoo and it broke me. I've checked her Facebook so many times and I know I shouldn't, I keep telling myself that it's only going to hurt, but I still do it and it always breaks me down even more. For a short time she changed her picture to a different one and removed her relationship status, so I thought they had broken up. I feel guilty for even admitting it but it made me feel hope, like we still had a chance. I didn't want to give in to that feeling and set myself up for disappointment, but I couldn't help but feel like maybe she thought of what we had and there was a chance that the knowledge of who we were now would be enough to start something new. But I was wrong. She changed it to a new picture of the two of them a few days later, and it broke me all over again. It's strange, every time I start to feel like something is working, like I'm making some kind of progress, another bombshell comes hurtling around and blindsides me. I keep trying to get back on my own two feet, and I keep getting knocked back down. I feel myself becoming more and more jaded throughout all of this, and I'm trying so hard not to let myself become that. I feel the desire to just give up building more and more as the hurdles keep tripping me up, and I hate how appealing it's started to become. I'm just trying to find out who I am GOD DAMNIT, why can't anything just go fucking right.
I haven't had the motivation to do anything, it's always been an issue in my life that I've constantly fought against. From applying to college to finishing finals, I've only ever done the work that was most important when I had no other choice and at the last possible moment. Motivation and passion; these are the two things I've struggled with the most for the past year. I always knew that if I was going to find fulfilment in life, those would have to be my two guiding lights, or I'd end up sad and disappointed no matter where I found myself. Nothing seems to help, I can have fun when I make the conscious effort, but it doesn't feel the same. Now more than ever I've been putting in so much effort just to find out where I'm meant to be and what I'm meant to do. I've done and tried so many different things just to gain a better understanding of who that guy in the mirror staring back at me really is. I know I've made progress, logically it cannot be ignored that the steps I've made to get to the point that I have in life have done something, but it's gotten just so damn hard to see, and even more so to believe. There are days where I go through all the motions, I wake up, I eat, I do the things that I used to enjoy, but all I can think about is her and the amazing times we had. I think about all the plans we had together, the plan I had to ask her to marry me, the life we planned on building together. It just doesn't stop, but I'm doing so much to try and move forward. I just don't know if it's doing anything, if I'm just spinning my wheels in place while waste away on the inside. I schedule weekends where I can get away from it all and take a trip somewhere a few hours away, because even if I could be doing something else while I'm here, even I can recognize that a change in scenery and something new could always help. Sometimes it does help, other times it just feels like a distraction, and other times it just brings me back to the trips I used to take with her and the only thing I can think about is how much fun we'd be having if we were there together.
I used to think I knew what career I wanted in life. From a very young age I only ever wanted to work for the same company that produced the shows I grew up watching online. The things they made got me through so many darker times, and made the bright ones all the better to remember. I picked up new hobbies and learned new skills just to try and have an edge when I finally worked up the courage to apply for a job. I even picked up 3D modeling in high school just to get a head start from the inspiration their shows gave me. Then everything went to shit in my life, I lost nearly all direction, and I ended up too little too late. Two weeks ago the company that I'd been following for over half my entire life shut its doors for good, and I got to see one of my life-long dreams turn ash. At least I got to be there to say goodbye. They gave a lot to me, so I'm happy I at least got the chance to let them know that before they were gone.
I want to move on, I really do. Amidst the maelstrom of everything that's happened to me, and the deluge that still is happening to me, it just feels impossible that I ever could move on. I only just made my first resume last week for the first job I've every applied to, and it's at a retail store with nothing to do with what I studied in college. I want to make progress in life. I want to live. But I feel like I haven't had a life to live for so long now, and I just don't know what to do.
I'm sorry for the novel-length text dump of exposition and self-pity, I just didn't know what else to turn to.
submitted by Wellian_Crow to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Life is shit right now. It's taken a long time for me to admit it, but there's just no more beating around the bush anymore. I'm trapped in a profound sadness that refuses to loosen it's hold on me, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to end it all, I never have, but I've just been through so much that it's hard to believe things could ever get better.
I'm 24(M), and 4 years ago I lost both of my parents, 10 months ago my girlfriend of 6 and a half years broke up with me, and just a few weeks ago the company I had been planning to work for over half my life shut its doors for good. Now I'm sat with no clear path forward and a brother trying to take what little I have left, and I just don't know how to move on.
I lost my dad on February 29th, 2020. He had been in and out of the hospital for the past couple months for constipation, didn't think much of it, he was 68 after all. One night I come in to visit him in the hospital and I walk in on a surgeon explaining something to him and my mother. It turns out that results from the latest test had come in and a polyp had burst in his large intestine, he was quickly developing sepsis and if they didn't operate soon he wouldn't see the sunrise. A few minutes to sort his thoughts and make some calls to my aunts for advice and he decided that the surgeon who talked to us was more than welcome to operate since he offered, it just so happened he was one of the highest rated gastro-intestinal surgeons in Texas (don't know if I got the name of the surgeon right, my bad). So they prep him for surgery and as they wheal him off to put him under he grabs onto my hand, with tears in his eyes, and says "Take care of your mother." He had a look in his eyes, he didn't think he'd get to open them again. But sure enough a few anxiety-inducing hours later the surgeon comes back out and lets us know that everything went off without a hitch, they managed to remove the blockage and clean everything up without issue. Dad spent the next week in recovery at that hospital, but I only managed to visit him there once. I hate hospitals, but I love my dad, so when I saw him in there, all strapped up with hoses poking in and out of him, I put a smile on and rubbed his feet like I always did (he broke both his legs and shattered an ankle years ago, the man was lucky to walk to begin with, so you'd better believe I'd help in any way I could). That's the last picture ever taken of me and my dad, with him strapped to a hospital bed and me giving him a foot massage. The next time I saw him he had been discharged without me knowing, so I headed back home to our rural town late one night when he said I could visit. I'd had a lot to think about then, I'd always thought I had so much more time with Dad, that I'd only have to say goodbye when I was good and ready and he had seen us through our biggest moments. By then I wasn't so sure, so I sat with him on that Friday night and just talked, for as long as I could. I told him the little things I'd been hanging on to for far too long, the kinds of things that didn't matter in the slightest but you'd never tell your parents because you're too embarrassed. I told him about how I bumped into someone at a stoplight right after high school, but I convinced the other guy not to get insurance involved because I didn't want him to know and end up costing him more money, so I just used all of my savings and my graduation gift to pay the guy off after he replaced his rear bumper. All dad had to say about that was "you should have gotten insurance involved, that's what it's for." We laughed, and he thanked me for telling him, said it proved that I was the man he always wanted me to be. We talked about a lot, I tried to hug him tight, but since the surgery was on his gut they couldn't just stitch him up. He was so bloated before the surgery that he looked pregnant, so the skin around his gut was delicate and they had to bandage him up and put this weird circulator on him to keep it clean. Either way, I hugged him as best I could, told him I loved him, that he should take it easy, and that I'd talk to him soon. I remember looking through the door as I walked away, he was just laid up in bed watching TV. I gave him a peace sign as I walk off, he always did the same, whether we were looking or not. That was 9:30 PM. At 6 the next morning I woke to my mom calling me in tears, she said dad was gone. They had spoken after I left, talked about what we discussed, and he said he couldn't get comfortable in bed so he'd moved over to the recliner in the living room. He didn't wake up. Later on when we finally got the reports back they said he had passed peacefully in his sleep due to a heart attack. Dad had heart problems before, he had a quadruple bypass when I was about 8 and a stint placed in later on due to a murmur in his heart, and ever since he'd been taking meds. There were so many little details that stuck with me from that day. He was wearing a pair of socks I gave him when I came back on the 29th. The night before he said he didn't think he'd wake back up after the surgery, but he did, which meant God wasn't done with him yet. I still remember the sound of my mom's sobs from behind the wall of my bed, my brother and I stayed with her for the first week afterwards.
I was always aware that I had a great life, but I had never lost anything so major, never had something so horrid and life-changing happen to me. One moment I was getting used to my new classes for the semester in college, and the next thing I knew my life had flipped ass over teakettle and the world was imploding. The combination of the pandemic hitting right as I experienced the worse loss of my life, in the middle of my second year of college, certainly didn't help either. To be honest, it's still a blur. I don't remember much of those months, only that the days blurred together as I barely perceived time passing. The semester ended, and one day when my brother are checking on Mom, she suddenly rushed out the door with a sack of vodka bottles in tow, got in her car, and drove off to work. We had worried she may have fallen off again, but had been hoping against hope she wouldn't. Mom had been alcohol my entire life, I won't get into it, but when we went to her work and my brother drove her home, we had to carry her upstairs ourselves after she fell into a potted plant with vomit on her shirt. Not too long after we staged an intervention and had her checked back into rehab. At the end of her first month she would decide if she'd stay for a second and third, and despite the pleas of my brother and I, she wouldn't listen. We said we were done with her. We had given her all the love and support we could, but if that wasn't going to work then we'd resort to our only other option and cut her out. When she checked out of rehab I drove her home. I thought I could try one last time to talk some sense into her, that maybe she'd listen to reason. In the end she just ignored me, so I said everything I could think to say. If it was going to be the last time I got to talk to her, then I'd make use of that ride home and tell her everything I could think of. Just like Dad. I dropped her off at the family home, gave her a hug, told her I loved her, and watched as she got smaller in the mirror as I drove away. About a week later on July 9th, I got a call from my brother and my Aunt, her little sister. She was gone. They found her in a CVS parking lot in her car, upside down. She had been there for hours. We don't know exactly what happened. She may have had a seizure. All we know is that the reports came back with "complications due to alcohol abuse and fatty liver."
After that, the estate fell to my brother and I as the sole inheritors. I'm thankful for everyone that came out of the woodworks to help us. Our aunts helped with the will and all of the proceedings that came after. A lot had to be done, and a 20 year old still in college (me) and a 24 year old fresh out of college (my brother), were not the ones capable to taking care of it all. It took months to sort it all out. Hell, some of it never got resolved because we just never knew what to do. What matters is that we had the time and space to grieve, and so I did.
It turns out I've always had depressive tendencies, but at this point I had fully developed an Anxiety and Depressive disorder. It came to a head one Summer day when I just couldn't take it anymore. I'd always wrestled with the concept of Death, that after everything that happens in your life it all just ends, nothing, just an end to all, void, nothingness. I hated it. It stills sends me into panic attacks to this day, and has since I was a child. That Summer day I hit rock bottom, and I couldn't think of anything else, because what else could matter if it was all going to end anyway? Why should I care? I'm not going to care when I'm gone, so why care now? It's not like I'll be around to regret leaving if I chose to end it all. These were the thoughts that flooded my mind, and they wouldn't go away. I took a walk. I went through my neighborhood, cut through the trees at the cul-de-sac near the bottom of the hill, and came to a path that led to a nearly dry creak. the water was barely flowing, but I was sweaty and I wanted to sit. So there I sat and contemplated it all. The absolute inconsequentiality of life and all its meaninglessness. I looked down and saw a rock, picked it up, and thought to myself just how long it would take to bash my brains out and end it all right there. Sure it would hurt, but only for so long, then it would be gone, and I'd stop hurting. I don't know how long I really sat there looking at that rock, but eventually a family of four came walking down the path and I had to get up to get out of their way since I was sitting in the middle of the path. I dropped the rock, let them pass, and walked back home. after that I called my friends, got the name and number for their doctor, and booked an appointment later that week. Ever since then I've been medicated and I'm better for it. I don't believe in those thoughts anymore, but it scares me that I got to a point that I nearly listened to them. I've back to that creek bed since, and it's actually very pretty right after a storm, when all the trees are still dripping with rainwater.
Fast-forward a few years and it's May 2023, I struggled and I stumbled, but I felt like I had made progress. I felt far from past it, but I was moving on. I graduated with a Bachelor's in Science for Art and Entertainment Technologies. I didn't know exactly what I'd do with it, but I felt like I could figure it out with the city I was in. I went up to celebrate my girlfriend's graduation a few weeks later up in Missouri, we had been together for six and a half years. We met in high school in the same friend group, stuck through college in a long-distance relationship, and I thought we would go all the way. Over that summer after we both graduated she had to take one last internship to finish up her degree. I visited when I had the chance, but over the course of the summer I worked to make sure the house lived in would be ready for her, ready for two people to live in together once we finally started our lives together. She spent another two and a half months in Missouri, and the day she got back on July 29th she broke up with me. She had her dad drive her down the night before, and she spent that night with me after the long trip. The next morning after waking up and having breakfast, she sat me down and said she didn't think we should be together anymore. It was something she decided on over the Summer, she said she'd been thinking about it for a bit and finally had a gut feeling that we should split up. There wasn't anyone else, she actually explained that it was the opposite. She had lived her entire life with barely any privacy. As the middle child of 6 children she rarely, if ever, got a moment to herself. She only ever had one room to herself, but even then it was in a smaller house with 4 other people, and no locks on her door. When she left for college she had to share a dorm with her roommate, and when she came back for the Winter and Summer breaks she stayed with me (I also have a housemate, so even then the privacy wasn't perfect). Over the course of that last Summer she finally had a room all to herself, a single dorm for 2 and a half months. During her internship it was the exact same, she worked in an archive, which are quiet on a bad day and silent as the grave every other day. Couple that with the fact that she only ever work with one other person (her supervisor), and that's if they worked with anyone else there at all, for 40 hours a week. She told me that summer gave her the alone time she never had the chance to take before, and spent a lot of it thinking, spending all the time she never got before to be alone with her thoughts. A couple weeks before she came back she had come to the conclusion that she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. She gave me a lot of reasons for want to split up, that being one of them. The biggest reason, one she said she couldn't ignore, was that she thought we were becoming two very different people. She said she didn't think we would work if we stayed together, that the way she saw us going, it just wasn't going to work out. She told me she still loved me, but when I asked if it was in the same way as before, she could only shake her head. I still regret asking that. She left with her sister later that day, and came back with her family the next to pack up all her things and leave. When she was busy inside, I took a moment to talk to them and ask if I did anything wrong, they all said no. They said she was just the most independent person they all knew, and that I had nothing to be sorry for. It didn't help. When they were done she gave me one last moment with her, one last tear-stained kiss goodbye, but when she turned in the driveway to hand me back the extra key to the house, I broke down. I stood by the door just long enough to watch their car fade from view as they drove away, then I went back inside and collapsed into a void of sorrow and self-pity.
That was 10 months ago. I'd like to say I've made progress, but some days it's hard to believe that. In the time since I've spent a lot of time on myself, learning who I was and what I wanted to be. The main sticking point I had with her reasoning was that she was so certain we were going to end up two completely different people, but I didn't even know who I wanted to be. If I didn't know who I was, let alone who I was going to be, how could she be so definitively certain? A lot of time and self-reflection brought up a plethora of questions I'd never thought to ask myself. With a rural backwoods public Texas education, it turns out that a lot of mental health issues can fall between the cracks. I found out that I'm on the Autism Spectrum (I get my full Psych Eval later this week, so that's nice), I learned that I'm demisexual, and also that I get extremely, soul-crushingly lonely when I'm single. All my best friends had to move out of state last February (it's a long story but I can explain if necessary), so when we split up I had next to no one to fall back on nearby. I had acquaintances and others I could call, but the people I loved the most were a 13 hour drive away. I made the trip when I could, but it just wasn't the same. It's ironic though, I found a therapy service through a podcast she introduced me to. I've been seeing a reliable and caring therapist for 9 and a half of the past 10 months, so I'm grateful for that. I've come to learn that even if the crushing loneliness hurts the most, finding a new relationship isn't the right step forward. I spent long enough trying to make that happen, now I know it can't fix anything, nor should it.
For a while I was starting to feel things turning around. Not so much getting better, but it was a start. Then It got to February, and along with it another tide of problems. My brother has always been the one to party, since he was in high school and all throughout college he was the one that got the drinks and people together. When we became independent he was the one that got on my ass about not wasting our inheritance and only using it when absolutely necessary. It's ironic then, that he was the one to call me in late Feb telling me he'd blown through it all and gone bankrupt. For this next part I need to provide some context, so I'm sorry if it drags on. I never planned on moving out of the family home, but mom and dad had waited long enough and wanted me out, so mom agreed to find a place for me to stay and provide housing until I graduated college. She was a realtor for a big real estate company for over 25 years, and it just so happened that the last neighborhood she sold from had a model home the company wanted to get rid of. She pulled some strings and in the end she got it for a steal, like half the market price for a house in the area, with a monthly payment similar to most apartments in the same city. I'm well aware of how privileged I was and still am to this day, I don't want people to think I don't recognize the luck I've been given. However, when our parents passed the entirety of the estate was split 50/50 between my brother and I. Meaning that the house that I lived in at the time, and still have for the past 4 and a half years, is only half mine. This never really sat well with me, so when I eventually brought it up with my brother and asked about becoming the sole owner of my house, he agreed that it was the right call. The problem, is that he told me that he hand over his half for half of what the house would be sold for at maximum market price. He didn't want what we'd paid for, he didn't want half of what it was bought at, nor did he want any reasonable price, he wanted the most amount of money he could get for a home that wasn't his, nor was ever meant to be his (I want y'all to know that I already feel like the most privileged asshole ever having typed all this out, sorry for sounding like a shithead). Somewhere along the way, he got it in his head that I had already agreed to pay what he wanted me to for his half, and when he called me late Feb and asked for money, he got upset with me when I told him that I didn't want to. He got angry and started talking about how I owed him for my house, how I already agreed to pay him and that he'd count whatever I gave him as the start to my payment for the property I've lived on for nearly 5 fucking years. I panicked, and though I regret it, I caved and gave him far too much money (more than I'm willing to admit), in hopes he'd leave me alone. Unfortunately over the past 4 months he's only gotten worse.
Before this time we (my brother and our Aunts) came to the conclusion that the family home we had turned into an Airbnb was no longer sustainable. While it had been profitable for a good few months in 2022, by late 2023 it had turned into a money sink. There was more and more wear and deferred maintenance popping up with each passing month that by the time 2024 rolled around we were forced to choose between selling it off or emptying the rest of our inheritance in an attempt to fix it back up with no promise that it would be worth it. It sucked to do it, I spend the first 20 years of my life in that house, but in the end we gave the go ahead and my Aunt helped us put it on the market when Feb rolled around. The housing market where it's built is extremely competitive, it's on the outskirts of a rural tourist town with a view to die for, so we didn't think it would be too much waiting around before we got an offer. That was 4 months ago, and we haven't heard a word since, even though the first estimate was 6 weeks to 6 months. The agent helping us with the house let us know that there were over 60 homes being sold in the surrounding area, with half of them at a very similar price point. I don't feel comfortable revealing exactly what the house is priced at, but to give an idea, the money I'd make off of selling it, even after being split in half and reduced by taxes, would be enough to completely pay off the mortgage on my house and then some. The kicker to all of this, is that the house isn't in perfect condition. Even considering all the detracting factors, I'd say the price we have the house listed at is more than fair for the area, but nobody wants to buy a fixer-upper at that price point, even if it is worth it. To make all these matter worse, I found out recently that my brother has STILL been holding house parties there, even though he has a perfectly good party place where he currently lives! I found out when my Aunt told me about a showing we were going to have, but my brother tried to call and tell her to postpone it because he was going to be having a party the day before the showing was scheduled. In the middle of all this, he texts me out of the blue, trying to get me to talk to him and discuss something. I'm having none of it and tell him that if he needs to get something off his chest, he can text me or leave me alone, I don't want to talk. So he ends up sending me full fucking paragraphs, going on about how he's hit rock bottom, how we have to close the joint account we've been using to pay all the shared bills and expenses, and how he's so sorry for being a shitty older brother. Near the end of it he throws in how he recently lost his girlfriend to a drunk driver and that he's in mourning. I went digging and it turns out the girl he mentioned, who did tragically pass in an accident and was heavily mourned in the community, was not in a relationship with him for the past year and a half. I didn't know this until a month later though, so this all came out of the blue in a time where I just wanted to be done with him, so now I had no clue what to think. The way he spoke and said all the right things to make me feel for him hurt, it made me want to drive over to his house and throw my arms around him and tell him that he'd be okay and he wasn't alone. Then we found out about the party, and he never stopped using the joint account for all the bullshit personal spending he'd been using for before at liquor stores and bars, so I got to see first-hand what all he was spending both of our shared funds on (this is only one account I put money into when we need to pay bills, the majority of my money is in my own personal savings account that he doesn't have any access to). In short: he made it real obvious that everything he said to us was a complete and total lie, after pleading with me and making me take on the task of cancelling half the bills we had tied to the joint account just to save him the time and effort. He manipulated me, and it was plain as day to see it.
Now I'm at a point where I just have to wait for something to happen. I can't do a damn thing to change my shitty situation with my brother and my home. I want to cut him off, become fully independent, and leave all the trauma I have with him, but I literally can't. I have to wait until the family house is sold or he tries to come after me and my livelihood. I tried my best to research my options, but there's nothing I can do with my house unless he signs over his portion to me, and he won't do that unless he gets what he wants. The only thing I've been able to think of is that I could possibly take him to court and argue that his actions caused the selling price of our family home to go down, but I don't even know if that's possible or what it would do for me. I don't want to sue my brother, I just want to be done with him. I want to scream and yell and make him understand the stress he's put me through, make him feel the pain he's caused me my entire life just for wanting him to like me. I want to make him know just how much it hurts to have put so much effort into someone that was never going to care in the first place, but more than anything, I just want to be done with him.
I did the math, and unfortunately I now know that I have a time limit for the family home to be sold. Meaning that if the home isn't sold by the new year and we have to pay the property taxes again, I'll be the one taking the full brunt of that responsibility. If that happens I will either not have enough money in my savings to cover that cost, or I'll have just enough to pay for it and have nothing left. Either way, with how much the maintenance of everything has been draining our finances, I'd have to sell my current home to pay for the costs after property taxes are dealt with. It would solve so many issues if I just sold off my house, but it would hurt so God damn much. I've put so much effort into this house to try and make it feel like a home, make it feel like my home. When the world was falling apart and I lost everything else, this one house and the memories I made here were what kept me going. There are days where it feels like it's all I've got left. The last thing I want is to lose this house. I know I'd end up fine. I'd have funds left over to take care of me after it's sold, and the family home would sell eventually, but none of that would matter. I can see how long I might have left in this house in the pages left on the calendar hanging from my wall, and all I can do is wait for the other shoe to drop to see if I'm losing this too. All I can do is sit and fester in this shitty void of depression and anguish while I wait to find out what happens. I hate it.
When I didn't think anything could get worse, just a handful of weeks ago I idly checked Facebook and saw that my ex, the love of my life, had found herself a new boyfriend. Soul-crushing couldn't begin to describe what I felt. I thought I'd made progress, thought I'd said goodbye to my desire to rekindle what we once had. I thought I'd finally started to move on, but I suppose I didn't know how wrong I could be. She had changed her profile picture to one with her and him standing together, arm in arm. She looked so God damn gorgeous. I couldn't get over the fact that she had never done that when we were together, I guess I still haven't. I'm not even mad at her, or him, or anyone, I'm just in pain. I want her to be happy, she deserves to be happy, but all I can focus on is just how much I miss her. I saw her post about how they went to the zoo and it broke me. I've checked her Facebook so many times and I know I shouldn't, I keep telling myself that it's only going to hurt, but I still do it and it always breaks me down even more. For a short time she changed her picture to a different one and removed her relationship status, so I thought they had broken up. I feel guilty for even admitting it but it made me feel hope, like we still had a chance. I didn't want to give in to that feeling and set myself up for disappointment, but I couldn't help but feel like maybe she thought of what we had and there was a chance that the knowledge of who we were now would be enough to start something new. But I was wrong. She changed it to a new picture of the two of them a few days later, and it broke me all over again. It's strange, every time I start to feel like something is working, like I'm making some kind of progress, another bombshell comes hurtling around and blindsides me. I keep trying to get back on my own two feet, and I keep getting knocked back down. I feel myself becoming more and more jaded throughout all of this, and I'm trying so hard not to let myself become that. I feel the desire to just give up building more and more as the hurdles keep tripping me up, and I hate how appealing it's started to become. I'm just trying to find out who I am GOD DAMNIT, why can't anything just go fucking right.
I haven't had the motivation to do anything, it's always been an issue in my life that I've constantly fought against. From applying to college to finishing finals, I've only ever done the work that was most important when I had no other choice and at the last possible moment. Motivation and passion; these are the two things I've struggled with the most for the past year. I always knew that if I was going to find fulfilment in life, those would have to be my two guiding lights, or I'd end up sad and disappointed no matter where I found myself. Nothing seems to help, I can have fun when I make the conscious effort, but it doesn't feel the same. Now more than ever I've been putting in so much effort just to find out where I'm meant to be and what I'm meant to do. I've done and tried so many different things just to gain a better understanding of who that guy in the mirror staring back at me really is. I know I've made progress, logically it cannot be ignored that the steps I've made to get to the point that I have in life have done something, but it's gotten just so damn hard to see, and even more so to believe. There are days where I go through all the motions, I wake up, I eat, I do the things that I used to enjoy, but all I can think about is her and the amazing times we had. I think about all the plans we had together, the plan I had to ask her to marry me, the life we planned on building together. It just doesn't stop, but I'm doing so much to try and move forward. I just don't know if it's doing anything, if I'm just spinning my wheels in place while waste away on the inside. I schedule weekends where I can get away from it all and take a trip somewhere a few hours away, because even if I could be doing something else while I'm here, even I can recognize that a change in scenery and something new could always help. Sometimes it does help, other times it just feels like a distraction, and other times it just brings me back to the trips I used to take with her and the only thing I can think about is how much fun we'd be having if we were there together.
I used to think I knew what career I wanted in life. From a very young age I only ever wanted to work for the same company that produced the shows I grew up watching online. The things they made got me through so many darker times, and made the bright ones all the better to remember. I picked up new hobbies and learned new skills just to try and have an edge when I finally worked up the courage to apply for a job. I even picked up 3D modeling in high school just to get a head start from the inspiration their shows gave me. Then everything went to shit in my life, I lost nearly all direction, and I ended up too little too late. Two weeks ago the company that I'd been following for over half my entire life shut its doors for good, and I got to see one of my life-long dreams turn ash. At least I got to be there to say goodbye. They gave a lot to me, so I'm happy I at least got the chance to let them know that before they were gone.
I want to move on, I really do. Amidst the maelstrom of everything that's happened to me, and the deluge that still is happening to me, it just feels impossible that I ever could move on. I only just made my first resume last week for the first job I've every applied to, and it's at a retail store with nothing to do with what I studied in college. I want to make progress in life. I want to live. But I feel like I haven't had a life to live for so long now, and I just don't know what to do.
I'm sorry for the novel-length text dump of exposition and self-pity, I just didn't know what else to turn to.
2024.05.28 22:50 imalive-butimdead Girlfriend follows ex boyfriend
This post may sound stupid, but i would just like to hear others opinions. Long story short, my girlfriend is following her ex boyfriend on every social media platform, but he doesn’t follow her back. If they followed one another mutually, I don’t think I’d have any worries, but the fact that she follows him and he doesn’t follow her leads me to believe she is caught up on him while he’s moved on. She identifies as lesbian, but about 7 months ago she identified as bisexual. I’m not the kind of partner to tell my partner to unfollow an ex, but i would like to know her reasoning for feeling the need to follow him when he’s not doing the same or if she has any feelings for him or what they had. Me personally, I’m not following any of my exs, but I’m definitely not going to follow an ex or anyone for that matter if they’re not following me back. I’m sure it gives her ex an ego boost to know that she’s in a wlw relationship presently, but following him and essentially keeping up with him while he follows her on nothing. I don’t go through phones so I don’t know if they have had any kind of contact but lately she’s been more secretive with her phone. Specifically speaking, two nights ago I saw someone sent her a very long paragraph and she jumped when she saw I noticed. There’s been a couple times where she’s been secretive with her phone. I am very open with my phone. She knows my password. I don’t know her password nor have I ever touched her phone. She has him on Snapchat as well and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little concerned—Snapchat is the app I’ve always caught my SO cheating on :/ (happened twice now) I feel I’ve reached a point where I have to communicate my feelings, but before doing so I would like to hear others opinions.
P.s. please be kind with your responses. I may end up just brushing this off and hoping for the best. Thanks :)
submitted by imalive-butimdead to actuallesbians [link] [comments]
P.s. please be kind with your responses. I may end up just brushing this off and hoping for the best. Thanks :)
2024.05.28 21:23 ResearcherOk2592 Weakish Review, Ski to Sea 2024
Weakish Review- Ski to Sea Version
Sumer is icumen and so are the cotton wood trees. As Ski to Sea-ers descend upon our little town to remind us all of why we choose to live here (outdoor recreation in the rain), newcomers lament that this poorly planned event didn’t plan in advance that the disruptions in traffic could make it take longer to get his girlfriend’s car from across town. Meanwhile, the cotton woods are answering the call when the Bellingham City Council declared a tree emergency and are trying to impregnate everything and everyone. The only thing left to officially declare summer is an Alaskan rave so big that the skies light up and stimulate the boomhorses to fill the silence at midnight with their eerie flute like scary mating calls. Warning, the boomhorses are on ecstasy, grab your spongebob member’s only jacket and head to the bank to grab some cash, shit’s about to get real.
First, a rules meeting was had after a particular poster with multiple alts got called out for trolling. They said they were leaving the forum forever, then immediately signed in with new alts. People love to call me out for being an evil landlord, yet I let this troll live in my mind, rent free! I invite you to play a round of troll roulette. All you have to do is find one of their alts and point out, with evidence, that they are factually incorrect. If they tell you to touch grass and then block you, you win the game. Bonus points if you can get them to follow you around and downvote everything you post.
Next, a safety meeting was where kayakers were only informed about course information, rescue procedures, and how to help others. Nobody told the main character that he needed to feed himself. They didn’t tell him how to dress appropriately and even made him wipe is own ass in the outhouse. At the end of the day, they didn’t even reserve a parking space just for him and insisted that the rules apply to him just like everyone else. Ski to Sea is clearly under-planned and unsafe because we just got started and two main characters have already been slightly inconvenienced.
XC Ski- Following the lead of a woman who moved to our town who made it her mission to change our housing laws, a Texas man is trying to glide into our local housing politics too. People struggled to find footing as they were offended that a person who they agree with could be compared with someone they disagree with. Someone more clever than I, could certainly create a fun villain origin story with this. You gotta admit, black mold tenant’s revolt superhero has black spiderman/venom vibe. There has got to be something similar we could do with the monopoly man and the Air B&B guy. A battle between these two would be my favorite main character fight. Wouldn’t a Batman style comic be hilarious? Housing ordinance gets passed, BIFF. Lawsuit filed BAM. I miss good political satire cartoons.
DH SKI- Speaking of slippery slopes, the City council declared an emergency for trees. According to Merriam Webster, “a course of action that seems to lead inevitably from one action or result to another with unintended consequences.” People are struggling with seeing a problem with this one because we love trees, especially big ones. But, what happens when politicians that you don’t agree with start to declare non-emergencies as emergencies to push through their agendas? Where will all of our main characters live if nobody can build them housing if trees are there first? The cotton woods may have been the real main character all along.
Run- There has been talk for years about changing the course because running downhill can cause injury due to eccentric muscle contractions that induce high mechanical strain on the musculotendinous system. No review is complete without updating about our favorite eccentric character. Mark took a break from volunteering for the Spark Museum to bring joy to the community by dancing in the Ski to Sea Parade. Nearby band members were overwhelmed with happiness as his ecstatic exuberance filled the community with joy and love. Unfortunately, some main characters missed out on the joy because cones blocked their path for a brief moment, trapping them in their cars with great confusion. “Who would put cones in a road. Roads are for cars, not for bringing joy to the community and welcoming in a joyous summer. Parades should be held on sidewalks in the county, in the middle of the night so as not to impede traffic.” Proclaimed a main character who just moved here who was still miffed that he was accused of being the traffic that he was stuck in.
Road Bike- Perhaps the real purpose of Ski to Sea is to normalize traffic disruptions. The County’s war against cars is less subtle, they prefer to block large sections of primary transportation corridors. Those sneaky buggers in the city are slowly taking away lanes and giving them to bikes. First they came for route choice with a pamphlet with recommended routes with clever bridges and short cuts, and we didn’t speak out because it was just a recommendation. Then they came for color uniformity as they progressed to green paint and recommended routes, and we didn’t speak out because green is the color of trees and we like trees. Before most people noticed, they put the roads on diets and nobody stood up for the roads as they were shamed. Nobody stood on the overpasses and caused traffic accidents with their signs calling for road size positivity because roads aren’t real just like birds aren’t real. Now, they are replacing roads with bike lanes and lots of them! People don’t like the location of these bike lanes. People don’t want to slow down. What about the cars? And, we didn’t speak out because we aren’t cars and we love our bikes. Then, they came for our favorite route through town and there were no cars left to beep their horns for us and we were forced to zip through town on our e-bikes and waterproof outfits.
Canoe- Two people, who consider themselves locals since they have lived here for two weeks, decided to train for the canoe leg in the dessert on the sand dunes. The person in the front looked over his shoulder at their friend and said, “Wear’s your paddle?” the person in the back replied, “Sure does.” Ba Dum Tss. Speaking of paddling, It’s been a long time since we have collectively agreed that hitting children, friends, and neighbors is a preferred means of solving problems, but there is still a lot of striking going on. WWU workers were on strike, People were striking against the war in the middle east, the mods made a mega thread to strike down too much conversation about it.
Cyclocross- The CX bikers pedaled and slogged their way through the peanut butter mud as the main character waited with his kayak wishing someone would make him a peanut butter sandwich. A gaggle of Karens were triggered because peanut allergies are real and felt like the mud wasn’t being inclusive. Others felt left out that the mud was not described as being the consistency of gluten, which left them out of being triggered. When they all called the police because their feelings were hurt, nobody could agree on the number of police cars that they saw racing by.
Kayak- This takes us back to our poor, hungry, main character who was left to barely survive with an insufficient quantity and quality of food trucks. He stood there for hours wondering why nobody was taking care of him and why did the county executive and attorney pay off that sexual harassment claim without engaging with the council. As he neared the end of the paddle with the finish bell in sight he saw the Consulat de Monte Cristo shut down the beer garden while calling out Bonjour to the crowds. Our poor paddler grabbed his Spongebob jacket and thought to himself, “Why didn’t he say, bonne journée?”
It’s officially almost summer-ish. Go buy batteries to change your smoke alarms. Ask yourself what you can do to make the community a better place. Share your ideas. What can you do to make Belligham better? How can you support your community? My new favorite is the food pantry behind Coconut Kennys. You can leave nice things there and people who need them take them. I’ve left food, hand warmers, packages of new socks, nice jackets etc. My other favorite is gift cards to local easy access food restaurants like Dairy Queen and Subway. You can just hand these to people you see around town.
TLDR, Ski to Sea happened, people complained about stuff, I find most things funny. I tried to share that humor with a call for community betterment. In the editing window, I have 6 spaces between the paragraphs but it publishes with only one space. If anyone knows how to edit formatting, please let me know. Cheers.
submitted by ResearcherOk2592 to Bellingham [link] [comments]
Sumer is icumen and so are the cotton wood trees. As Ski to Sea-ers descend upon our little town to remind us all of why we choose to live here (outdoor recreation in the rain), newcomers lament that this poorly planned event didn’t plan in advance that the disruptions in traffic could make it take longer to get his girlfriend’s car from across town. Meanwhile, the cotton woods are answering the call when the Bellingham City Council declared a tree emergency and are trying to impregnate everything and everyone. The only thing left to officially declare summer is an Alaskan rave so big that the skies light up and stimulate the boomhorses to fill the silence at midnight with their eerie flute like scary mating calls. Warning, the boomhorses are on ecstasy, grab your spongebob member’s only jacket and head to the bank to grab some cash, shit’s about to get real.
First, a rules meeting was had after a particular poster with multiple alts got called out for trolling. They said they were leaving the forum forever, then immediately signed in with new alts. People love to call me out for being an evil landlord, yet I let this troll live in my mind, rent free! I invite you to play a round of troll roulette. All you have to do is find one of their alts and point out, with evidence, that they are factually incorrect. If they tell you to touch grass and then block you, you win the game. Bonus points if you can get them to follow you around and downvote everything you post.
Next, a safety meeting was where kayakers were only informed about course information, rescue procedures, and how to help others. Nobody told the main character that he needed to feed himself. They didn’t tell him how to dress appropriately and even made him wipe is own ass in the outhouse. At the end of the day, they didn’t even reserve a parking space just for him and insisted that the rules apply to him just like everyone else. Ski to Sea is clearly under-planned and unsafe because we just got started and two main characters have already been slightly inconvenienced.
XC Ski- Following the lead of a woman who moved to our town who made it her mission to change our housing laws, a Texas man is trying to glide into our local housing politics too. People struggled to find footing as they were offended that a person who they agree with could be compared with someone they disagree with. Someone more clever than I, could certainly create a fun villain origin story with this. You gotta admit, black mold tenant’s revolt superhero has black spiderman/venom vibe. There has got to be something similar we could do with the monopoly man and the Air B&B guy. A battle between these two would be my favorite main character fight. Wouldn’t a Batman style comic be hilarious? Housing ordinance gets passed, BIFF. Lawsuit filed BAM. I miss good political satire cartoons.
DH SKI- Speaking of slippery slopes, the City council declared an emergency for trees. According to Merriam Webster, “a course of action that seems to lead inevitably from one action or result to another with unintended consequences.” People are struggling with seeing a problem with this one because we love trees, especially big ones. But, what happens when politicians that you don’t agree with start to declare non-emergencies as emergencies to push through their agendas? Where will all of our main characters live if nobody can build them housing if trees are there first? The cotton woods may have been the real main character all along.
Run- There has been talk for years about changing the course because running downhill can cause injury due to eccentric muscle contractions that induce high mechanical strain on the musculotendinous system. No review is complete without updating about our favorite eccentric character. Mark took a break from volunteering for the Spark Museum to bring joy to the community by dancing in the Ski to Sea Parade. Nearby band members were overwhelmed with happiness as his ecstatic exuberance filled the community with joy and love. Unfortunately, some main characters missed out on the joy because cones blocked their path for a brief moment, trapping them in their cars with great confusion. “Who would put cones in a road. Roads are for cars, not for bringing joy to the community and welcoming in a joyous summer. Parades should be held on sidewalks in the county, in the middle of the night so as not to impede traffic.” Proclaimed a main character who just moved here who was still miffed that he was accused of being the traffic that he was stuck in.
Road Bike- Perhaps the real purpose of Ski to Sea is to normalize traffic disruptions. The County’s war against cars is less subtle, they prefer to block large sections of primary transportation corridors. Those sneaky buggers in the city are slowly taking away lanes and giving them to bikes. First they came for route choice with a pamphlet with recommended routes with clever bridges and short cuts, and we didn’t speak out because it was just a recommendation. Then they came for color uniformity as they progressed to green paint and recommended routes, and we didn’t speak out because green is the color of trees and we like trees. Before most people noticed, they put the roads on diets and nobody stood up for the roads as they were shamed. Nobody stood on the overpasses and caused traffic accidents with their signs calling for road size positivity because roads aren’t real just like birds aren’t real. Now, they are replacing roads with bike lanes and lots of them! People don’t like the location of these bike lanes. People don’t want to slow down. What about the cars? And, we didn’t speak out because we aren’t cars and we love our bikes. Then, they came for our favorite route through town and there were no cars left to beep their horns for us and we were forced to zip through town on our e-bikes and waterproof outfits.
Canoe- Two people, who consider themselves locals since they have lived here for two weeks, decided to train for the canoe leg in the dessert on the sand dunes. The person in the front looked over his shoulder at their friend and said, “Wear’s your paddle?” the person in the back replied, “Sure does.” Ba Dum Tss. Speaking of paddling, It’s been a long time since we have collectively agreed that hitting children, friends, and neighbors is a preferred means of solving problems, but there is still a lot of striking going on. WWU workers were on strike, People were striking against the war in the middle east, the mods made a mega thread to strike down too much conversation about it.
Cyclocross- The CX bikers pedaled and slogged their way through the peanut butter mud as the main character waited with his kayak wishing someone would make him a peanut butter sandwich. A gaggle of Karens were triggered because peanut allergies are real and felt like the mud wasn’t being inclusive. Others felt left out that the mud was not described as being the consistency of gluten, which left them out of being triggered. When they all called the police because their feelings were hurt, nobody could agree on the number of police cars that they saw racing by.
Kayak- This takes us back to our poor, hungry, main character who was left to barely survive with an insufficient quantity and quality of food trucks. He stood there for hours wondering why nobody was taking care of him and why did the county executive and attorney pay off that sexual harassment claim without engaging with the council. As he neared the end of the paddle with the finish bell in sight he saw the Consulat de Monte Cristo shut down the beer garden while calling out Bonjour to the crowds. Our poor paddler grabbed his Spongebob jacket and thought to himself, “Why didn’t he say, bonne journée?”
It’s officially almost summer-ish. Go buy batteries to change your smoke alarms. Ask yourself what you can do to make the community a better place. Share your ideas. What can you do to make Belligham better? How can you support your community? My new favorite is the food pantry behind Coconut Kennys. You can leave nice things there and people who need them take them. I’ve left food, hand warmers, packages of new socks, nice jackets etc. My other favorite is gift cards to local easy access food restaurants like Dairy Queen and Subway. You can just hand these to people you see around town.
TLDR, Ski to Sea happened, people complained about stuff, I find most things funny. I tried to share that humor with a call for community betterment. In the editing window, I have 6 spaces between the paragraphs but it publishes with only one space. If anyone knows how to edit formatting, please let me know. Cheers.
2024.05.28 19:57 necromorti I [F31] received anonymous letter from a guy [M39] who dumped me recently. Should I report it to the police as stalking?
I have a bit of a concern here, especially after few conversations with my friends telling me, that I am overreacting. Allow me to explain first.
I have known M since last year, and as I found out within few months back, he broken up with his girlfriend. So we chatted as friends, knowing him more via "persona he had created" I started to fancy him a bit. So I decided to invite him out for a coffee back in March.
We went on 4 dates (he was asking me out as well). And after last date he kissed me twice. Then he ghosted me for an entire week, showed no initiative, so I decided to remain silent. In the end I blocked him.
I had one of my social media accounts locked for a 4 weeks, and once I unlocked it, he has sent me over there a paragraph length message that he ghosted me, it was awkward to not say anything, basically roasted me for my personality, said we are incompatible, humiliated me with polite words usage, and then proposed to be friends, referring to his ex.
I did not responded, so I blocked him everywhere on social media, was bit sad, carried on with work, gym, studies - generally speaking my life. Dating him gave me couple of red flags (example: sometimes he said he dumped his ex, sometimes he said she dumped him, sometimes he did not wanted to talk about things related to any ex, whenever he said one story, a bit later he said different one about same thing, so things were not adding up; for me it's red flag here). So the last time we had any contact was around 14th this month.
Recently long weekend took the place, so I stayed at home, studied, did not stepped outside due to my online uni classes. My housemate informed me that he found weirdly looking envelope (on Monday) in our mailbox dedicated to me.
Envelope was not addressed, there were no stamp, no seal, nothing. Just my full name written on it.
When I opened the letter, there was piece of paper looking like ripped of from notebook, with weird cypher written on it. In some sort of maybe symbols like from games, sigils, fiction, coding. No idea. I decided to upload it online and mentioned that it looks to me like a prank. Since I am non English person, I used some online community related to my nationality. Someone responded pretty fast within few hours decoding this to me. Deciphered letter states this:
"[HERE IS MY FULL NAME]
IF I RECALL CORRECTLY YOU PREFER TO RECEIVE YOUR APOLOGIES IN THE OLD WAYS
THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE
I AM TRULY SORRY FOR HURTING YOUR FEELINGS
I AM NOT ASKING TO BE FORGIVEN
I JUST HOPE THAT YOU ARE OK AND WISH FOR YOU ONLY THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE.
PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
[HERE IS GOOD NIGHT WORD IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE]"
In a meantime I was writing with my family member, they said to me - Hey maybe that is THIS GUY? - which I doubted at first. But based on language used above, exact working and finishing line I AM 100% SURE THAT THIS GUY WHO DUMPED ME WRITTEN IT.
He was never informed by me where exactly in town I live. I never share my personal address anywhere on socials. Only two people locally know where I live - but they don't know that guy. So I have no idea how... But he literally stalked out where I live (It looks like it's the case), dumped the letter - and I am sharing this now right here not sure what to do.
My two best friends from abroad are like: Hey, it's just a letter, you overreact, just throw it.
My family member is like: you should report it to the police!
Me: What the hell is this letter for?
So my question is this: How should I proceed in this situation guys? How would you feel in my place? What's the point for him in doing all of that? I just need some brainstorm in the comment section to know which approach is the best for this.
submitted by necromorti to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I have known M since last year, and as I found out within few months back, he broken up with his girlfriend. So we chatted as friends, knowing him more via "persona he had created" I started to fancy him a bit. So I decided to invite him out for a coffee back in March.
We went on 4 dates (he was asking me out as well). And after last date he kissed me twice. Then he ghosted me for an entire week, showed no initiative, so I decided to remain silent. In the end I blocked him.
I had one of my social media accounts locked for a 4 weeks, and once I unlocked it, he has sent me over there a paragraph length message that he ghosted me, it was awkward to not say anything, basically roasted me for my personality, said we are incompatible, humiliated me with polite words usage, and then proposed to be friends, referring to his ex.
I did not responded, so I blocked him everywhere on social media, was bit sad, carried on with work, gym, studies - generally speaking my life. Dating him gave me couple of red flags (example: sometimes he said he dumped his ex, sometimes he said she dumped him, sometimes he did not wanted to talk about things related to any ex, whenever he said one story, a bit later he said different one about same thing, so things were not adding up; for me it's red flag here). So the last time we had any contact was around 14th this month.
Recently long weekend took the place, so I stayed at home, studied, did not stepped outside due to my online uni classes. My housemate informed me that he found weirdly looking envelope (on Monday) in our mailbox dedicated to me.
Envelope was not addressed, there were no stamp, no seal, nothing. Just my full name written on it.
When I opened the letter, there was piece of paper looking like ripped of from notebook, with weird cypher written on it. In some sort of maybe symbols like from games, sigils, fiction, coding. No idea. I decided to upload it online and mentioned that it looks to me like a prank. Since I am non English person, I used some online community related to my nationality. Someone responded pretty fast within few hours decoding this to me. Deciphered letter states this:
"[HERE IS MY FULL NAME]
IF I RECALL CORRECTLY YOU PREFER TO RECEIVE YOUR APOLOGIES IN THE OLD WAYS
THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE
I AM TRULY SORRY FOR HURTING YOUR FEELINGS
I AM NOT ASKING TO BE FORGIVEN
I JUST HOPE THAT YOU ARE OK AND WISH FOR YOU ONLY THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE.
PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
[HERE IS GOOD NIGHT WORD IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE]"
In a meantime I was writing with my family member, they said to me - Hey maybe that is THIS GUY? - which I doubted at first. But based on language used above, exact working and finishing line I AM 100% SURE THAT THIS GUY WHO DUMPED ME WRITTEN IT.
He was never informed by me where exactly in town I live. I never share my personal address anywhere on socials. Only two people locally know where I live - but they don't know that guy. So I have no idea how... But he literally stalked out where I live (It looks like it's the case), dumped the letter - and I am sharing this now right here not sure what to do.
My two best friends from abroad are like: Hey, it's just a letter, you overreact, just throw it.
My family member is like: you should report it to the police!
Me: What the hell is this letter for?
So my question is this: How should I proceed in this situation guys? How would you feel in my place? What's the point for him in doing all of that? I just need some brainstorm in the comment section to know which approach is the best for this.
2024.05.28 18:24 SnarfMySnausage AIO for not wanting my step father in law to give my kids kisses?
I am a 30 year old man with a 28 year old fiance. I have two kids, a 28 month old boy and a 13 month old girl. My fiancé (we will call her Becca) has had a strained, on and off relationship with her mom. Nothing abusive, her mom has been more like a “girlfriend” to my fiance rather than a mother her whole life. Becca has said that most of her mom’s boyfriends have been jerks at best, weirdos at worst.
This brings me to the past couple of months. Becca’s mom brings her boyfriend down, and we will call him Steve. Steve is a tall, heavyset corrections officer from GA. He has a lot of the “southern charm”, from his love of chewing tobacco and sweet tea, to an accent that makes him sound almost like Goofy from Micky Mouse.
The first time I meet him, several months ago, he’s talking in my living room about a Cards Against Humanity game he played a night or two prior. He was playing with Becca’s mother, Becca’s 17 yr old brother Joey, and Joey’s 15 yr old girlfriend. He references this card he played, that said “Tinker Bells Tiny Tits”, and he says it like two or three times throughout the convo. I just met this guy and he’s talking like this about a game he played with two teens. Okay, weird. He also likes to have my son on his lap to watch Mickey on his phone with my son. This I really don’t like, but the guy is sitting next to my mother in law so what am I going to say? There were a few other reddish flags that I can’t remember right here but this was the oddest to me.
Fast forward a few months. Steve surprises Becca’s mom and brings them down to FL where we live to surprise Becca for her birthday. Steve and Becca’s mom buy my kids all these cute Disney clothes, crayons, coloring books, etc. He is also telling my fiance and myself about these live Disney shows they have going on that they want to take my kids too. He just seems overly friendly, especially to my little boy. Always wanting to hold him, give him high fives, sit in his lap, run his hand through his hair, buying him snacks and drinks. At one point, my fiance gets ticked because Steve says my daughters breath smells like milk, and my fiance is wondering why the hell is your face so close to our daughters mouth?
Come to find out, the guy was married before and for some reason he and his wife wanted kids but could never have them. The dude has ALWAYS wanted kids. So I guess with my two cute kiddos and him dating my mother in law, he feels like he’s already settled into the grandpa role. But I hardly know the guy, he’s off putting physically, and he’s making me wonder about his interactions with my kids. This all comes to a head in the next paragraph.
My fiancés little brother is graduating high school. Mother in law and Steve are coming down to watch the graduation. I’m not too happy about it but whatever. At one point, he is saying bye to my kids in my living room, he picks up my son and kisses him on the cheek goodbye, then kisses him several more times behind the ear. Oh hell no. Unfortunately, mother in law, mother in laws mother, my fiance, and several others are over so I’m left just stewing while they all go to the graduation.
The next day, I straight up tell mother in law “i don’t know how to have this conversation, so I’m just going to rip it off like a bandage. I don’t want your boyfriend kissing my kids or having them in his lap. That is reserved for blood relatives only.” Which I think is extremely reasonable. Her mom says “you have no idea what kind of issues this is going to cause me.” Uhhhhh, the fuck??
“How is this going to create issues? I don’t feel comfortable with him doing this, and the only non blood relative I’m okay with doing it is my father’s wife who I have known for 15 years.”
She claps back with “well, how are you ever going to get to know Steve? We live in a different state and never get to see the babies”
At this point, I’m a little confused, because it’s my kids and it’s not an unreasonable request. Steve then knocks on my front door, interrupting the convo with my mother in law and myself. Awwwwkwwward. MIL starts to leave, and my fiance is wondering what the hell just happened since it appeared I was arguing with her mom. I told her what happened, and I said this was enough and went outside. I walked up to his truck window and said “hey man, I need to talk”
MIL interrupts me and says “i was going to talk to him” and I say it’s okay, I can do it. All I say was “Steve, I’m not okay with you kissing my kids. That’s reserved for blood relatives only and it makes me and my fiance uncomfortable.” I said this in a calm manner. All he said was “okay, I understand” and they leave.
Super long story short, the next day we are having the celebration dinner for younger brothers graduation at a restaurant. MIL and Steve pay for my kids, myself, and fiancée, say goodbye, and then leave for GA a night early, not saying a proper goodbye to my fiancee. MIL calls Becca the next day and says Steve now feels uncomfortable, he feels like he’s a p*** or he feels like he’s being accused of being a p### (don’t know the exact phrasing here).
I’m at the point where I’m like tough fucking luck. Dont kiss kids, and you won’t feel like a p###!! But I’m wondering like, did I go too far? Maybe all this is innocent behavior, but I’d rather hurt a somewhat strangers feelings than potentially have my kids mistreated or abused. On the other hand, maybe I am overreacting and being unfair to this guy because of his appearance, career, and his kind of dumb persona?
I don’t know how to proceed. He feels like a p###… okay… so what’s next? Steve just asked MIL to marry and she said yes, so I am now stuck with this guy as a freaking step father in law, but I really don’t even want him to see these kids again. However, MIL is on disability and can’t really get down here to see the kids without Steve (again, not my problem, but this affects my fiancee quite a bit).
Am I overreacting? Am I the asshole? All typed on mobile so ignore typos or weird misspellings.
submitted by SnarfMySnausage to AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]
This brings me to the past couple of months. Becca’s mom brings her boyfriend down, and we will call him Steve. Steve is a tall, heavyset corrections officer from GA. He has a lot of the “southern charm”, from his love of chewing tobacco and sweet tea, to an accent that makes him sound almost like Goofy from Micky Mouse.
The first time I meet him, several months ago, he’s talking in my living room about a Cards Against Humanity game he played a night or two prior. He was playing with Becca’s mother, Becca’s 17 yr old brother Joey, and Joey’s 15 yr old girlfriend. He references this card he played, that said “Tinker Bells Tiny Tits”, and he says it like two or three times throughout the convo. I just met this guy and he’s talking like this about a game he played with two teens. Okay, weird. He also likes to have my son on his lap to watch Mickey on his phone with my son. This I really don’t like, but the guy is sitting next to my mother in law so what am I going to say? There were a few other reddish flags that I can’t remember right here but this was the oddest to me.
Fast forward a few months. Steve surprises Becca’s mom and brings them down to FL where we live to surprise Becca for her birthday. Steve and Becca’s mom buy my kids all these cute Disney clothes, crayons, coloring books, etc. He is also telling my fiance and myself about these live Disney shows they have going on that they want to take my kids too. He just seems overly friendly, especially to my little boy. Always wanting to hold him, give him high fives, sit in his lap, run his hand through his hair, buying him snacks and drinks. At one point, my fiance gets ticked because Steve says my daughters breath smells like milk, and my fiance is wondering why the hell is your face so close to our daughters mouth?
Come to find out, the guy was married before and for some reason he and his wife wanted kids but could never have them. The dude has ALWAYS wanted kids. So I guess with my two cute kiddos and him dating my mother in law, he feels like he’s already settled into the grandpa role. But I hardly know the guy, he’s off putting physically, and he’s making me wonder about his interactions with my kids. This all comes to a head in the next paragraph.
My fiancés little brother is graduating high school. Mother in law and Steve are coming down to watch the graduation. I’m not too happy about it but whatever. At one point, he is saying bye to my kids in my living room, he picks up my son and kisses him on the cheek goodbye, then kisses him several more times behind the ear. Oh hell no. Unfortunately, mother in law, mother in laws mother, my fiance, and several others are over so I’m left just stewing while they all go to the graduation.
The next day, I straight up tell mother in law “i don’t know how to have this conversation, so I’m just going to rip it off like a bandage. I don’t want your boyfriend kissing my kids or having them in his lap. That is reserved for blood relatives only.” Which I think is extremely reasonable. Her mom says “you have no idea what kind of issues this is going to cause me.” Uhhhhh, the fuck??
“How is this going to create issues? I don’t feel comfortable with him doing this, and the only non blood relative I’m okay with doing it is my father’s wife who I have known for 15 years.”
She claps back with “well, how are you ever going to get to know Steve? We live in a different state and never get to see the babies”
At this point, I’m a little confused, because it’s my kids and it’s not an unreasonable request. Steve then knocks on my front door, interrupting the convo with my mother in law and myself. Awwwwkwwward. MIL starts to leave, and my fiance is wondering what the hell just happened since it appeared I was arguing with her mom. I told her what happened, and I said this was enough and went outside. I walked up to his truck window and said “hey man, I need to talk”
MIL interrupts me and says “i was going to talk to him” and I say it’s okay, I can do it. All I say was “Steve, I’m not okay with you kissing my kids. That’s reserved for blood relatives only and it makes me and my fiance uncomfortable.” I said this in a calm manner. All he said was “okay, I understand” and they leave.
Super long story short, the next day we are having the celebration dinner for younger brothers graduation at a restaurant. MIL and Steve pay for my kids, myself, and fiancée, say goodbye, and then leave for GA a night early, not saying a proper goodbye to my fiancee. MIL calls Becca the next day and says Steve now feels uncomfortable, he feels like he’s a p*** or he feels like he’s being accused of being a p### (don’t know the exact phrasing here).
I’m at the point where I’m like tough fucking luck. Dont kiss kids, and you won’t feel like a p###!! But I’m wondering like, did I go too far? Maybe all this is innocent behavior, but I’d rather hurt a somewhat strangers feelings than potentially have my kids mistreated or abused. On the other hand, maybe I am overreacting and being unfair to this guy because of his appearance, career, and his kind of dumb persona?
I don’t know how to proceed. He feels like a p###… okay… so what’s next? Steve just asked MIL to marry and she said yes, so I am now stuck with this guy as a freaking step father in law, but I really don’t even want him to see these kids again. However, MIL is on disability and can’t really get down here to see the kids without Steve (again, not my problem, but this affects my fiancee quite a bit).
Am I overreacting? Am I the asshole? All typed on mobile so ignore typos or weird misspellings.
2024.05.28 02:51 masterofpiss The MK News Media Conspiracy Part 2/2
 | Link to part one for those who haven't seen it: https://www.reddit.com/SMG4/s/gX6dRctOxm submitted by masterofpiss to SMG4 [link] [comments] Now before I begin part two of this theory, I'd like to disclose something. You see, one of the major goals in this theory is setting up a foundation for future theories to build off of, meaning that while some parts of this theory might be shaky, just know that it's partially due to this point as some things currently don't have answers due to the limited amount of info on the MK News Media at the tine of writing this. However, this theory is still incredibly solid as a whole, so don't let this one point ruin the theory as a whole for you. Alright, with that out of the way, let's begin. Now in order to understand the role of the MK News Media we need to go back quite a bit in the smg4 timeline, specifically to late 2018. You see, at this point in the timeline, a news company in the mushroom kingdom, fittingly called the MK News Media has been struggling to stay in business after the decline in viewers caused by both the Waluigi and Rapper Bob arcs. You see, they didn't achieve all that much success during these arcs due to the infamous T-pose apocalypse (top left of image 2) and Rapper Bob's immense fame (left upper middle of image 2). This would lead to them declaring bankruptcy and nearly going under around a month or two prior to the anime arc. However, their near bankruptcy would attract a group of entities that mysteriously came from another universe (note: it's possible that the entities in question potentially came the great beyond, and could be the in-universe equivalent of the show's writers. However there is also evidence against this possibility, despite there being genuine evidence for it, so this could go either way). Now, you're probably wondering what this group of entities from another universe actually is. However, my answer for this is quite vague because I'm currently a bit unsure where they came from. However, Despite my vague description of where they came from, I'm actually pretty certain that this group of entities is HIGHLY dangerous because they have the ability to influence future events in the smg4 timeline itself (even more than mr.puzzles) through things like yellow journalism and misinformation. Now a few potential examples of them using this ability (after taking over MK News) are causing smg4 to directly go after smg3 in "Mario's Spicy Day," after a bit of static plays when he starts smg3's spicy ones video (bottom left of image 2), making peach ban anime by discussing that anime is destroying the mushroom kingdom (top right of image 2), and causing lawyer kong go after smg4 after giving him info about smg4's origins (bottom right of image 2). Now while those are just a few examples, there are way more of these that I didn't mention, but we'd be here all day if I went over all of these examples, so let's continue from where we left off. Now, this group of entities would tell the original heads of MK News that they are interested in buying out their dying news company, telling them that they'll make sure that MK News is successful in the long run, and that all they have to do is let the entities buy them out, even offering to give the original company heads a HEFTY sum of cash in the process. Unfortunately, the heads of the company would accept this deal because the only other option they had would be to go out of business. However, they would eventually come to regret this decision. You see, the mysterious group of entities from a different universe would fire ALL of the current staff and replace them with brand new employees that have similar mindsets as the new heads of the MK News Media, this mindset in particular being that of yellow journalism. Now, for those of you wondering what yellow journalism is: yellow journalism is removing or editing certain parts of information in a news story in order to sell a great story to the masses, and THIS is massively important when regarding the MK News Media, because the idea of yellow journalism would result in them causing certain events in the smg4 timeline (as mentioned earlier), and potentially even changing certain parts of smg4 canon, like the origins of Axol Jr and the Toast Guy (image 3) (Note: this ability is currently speculative due to the lack of evidence towards this being the case. However, considering that the MK News Media seems to take a lot of inspiration from the concept of yellow journalism, it would be a genuine possibility to consider). This would, in-turn, strengthen the story that the MK News Media wants smg4 to tell. Now, They would also use yellow journalism to cause the events of IMWTLMOE (by creating a series of events started by through getting mario drunk with milk containing alcohol, and this would result in Mario's friends leaving him (top left of image 4)), and Clown Fever (by introducing the depresso's "girlfriend" to the biggest clown in town, aka, us (bottom left of image 4)) before scrapping these potential news stories/smg4 arcs because they thought the stories weren't good enough, as well as the negative fan reception to the start of said stories (image 5). However, they still had a use for clown fever, because one of the heads in the company mentioned the idea of a puppet master villain manipulating the smg4 cast, and considering they knew that an individual known as mr.puzzles had recently taken an interest in the smg4 show around this time through a local newspaper featuring his logo (which meggy would see around this time, as shown in the upper top left of image 6) (upper bottom right of image 4), they would go with this idea and start the preparations for it. Now, their preparations for this storyline would begin by causing the carnival in the showgrounds to be abandoned through the use of fake news and yellow journalism (lower top right of image 4), as well as using said yellow journalism to close down the circus that depresso was a part of (upper top right of image 4) (evidence for this is shown in the lower bottom right of image 4, where we can see that depresso is acting like he's genuinely homeless while in the showgrounds). Next, they created a series of events that would cause the grand door to be opened (lower top left of image 6). From there, they'd trap the cosmic horror from the grand door inside a sealing keyboard (upper bottom left of image 6) (note: mr.puzzles may not have been the one responsible for trapping the cosmic horror in his keyboard due to his lack of power outside of the digital realm, as well as him running away from mario in the puzzlevision movie (lower bottom left of image 6). However, he was able to trap the smg4 crew in his head, so it's still at least somewhat possible that he trapped the cosmic horror in the eldritch keyboard.) and set smg4 into his pursuit of the perfect video by using mr.yeast to make smg4 obsessed with making far more content with way lower quality (upper top right of image 6), and helping smg3 cancel smg4 without realizing it later on in the episode (lower top right of image 6). Afterwards, they'd make sure mr.puzzles would get the demonic keyboard, which would set the events of the puppet master storyline in motion. Meanwhile, The MK News Media would start the first phase of their plan, that being, disposing of Princess Peach. You see, one of the major goals of the current MK News Media is to have COMPLETE control over the spread of information in the smg4 universe, so they could continue making yellow journalism esc. stories without having to worry about governmental figures like Princess Peach (upper bottom right of image 6) (note:while there isn't any evidence for this at the moment, there is the possibility that Peach could have gotten suspicious of the MK News Media around this point in the timeline, which would make this plan feel more logical in the long run), so disposing of Peach would be essential to this plan. Hell, the destruction of peach's castle would also make for a great headline with great character development for the smg4 cast (lower bottom right of image 6), as well as a massive change in the smg4 universe. Now, unfortunately for the smg4 cast, the MK News Media would succeed in getting rid of princess peach through using the demonic keyboard and mr.puzzles, which would lead into phase two of their plan, making sure the smg4 crew doesn't learn about the true intentions of the MK News Media, or in other words, making sure they aren't a threat. You see, phase two of this plan would involve mr.puzzles and the showgrounds, with mr.puzzles serving as a distraction for the smg4 cast. This is because despite not being all that powerful outside of his domain, he was still the mastermind behind the events of western spaghetti and wotfi 2023 (top left of image 7). Now, aside from serving as a distraction, mr.puzzles would also sell the smg4 crew the showgrounds (upper bottom left of image 7), a place that would be ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL TOWARDS THE PLAN OF THE MK NEWS MEDIA. You see, in the showgrounds, the smg4 cast would begin construction on a new castle, and this castle would have a boarded-up room (lower bottom left of image 7) that potentially contains an object that gives The MK News Media NEAR COMPLETE control over EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING in the smg4 universe. Except for two characters, those being Tari and Mr.Puzzles (my reasoning as to why Tari wouldn't be affected by the MK News Media at this time is mainly due to what I believe the role of clench is in the greater story, which I'll be discussing shortly. As for my reasoning regarding mr.puzzles not being affected, it mainly has to do with his reactions at the start of the puzzlevision movie, as well as his actions throughout the adware saga, because him being under the MK News Media's control throughout the entire saga wouldn't make that much sense). Now, when the Smg4 Castle was finished being built, The MK News Media would start affecting both the characters and even the very writing of the smg4 universe itself by giving the background characters specific roles in mr.puzzles's shows (like wotfi 2023 (upper top right of image 7)), and causing certain characters like Mario to behave VERY OUT OF CHARACTER, with a few examples of this being shown during the events of both Mario goes coo-coo crazy (lower top right of image 7), and Wotfi 2023 (upper bottom right of image 7). Now in these episodes, Mario would act in a controlled and somewhat malicious manner in the former episode, and in a completely malicious manner in the latter episode, with these behaviors being caused by The MK News Media controlling him like a puppet on strings, while mario is no longer in control of his own actions. Now, while everything was going perfectly for the MK News Media at this point in their plan, one of their employees ABSOLUTELY DESPISED what they were doing, and would hack into Tari's arm one day, calling himself "Clench" (lower bottom right of image 7). You see, through this persona, he would start his plan to take down the MK News Media by helping Tari while keeping a low profile so that MK News Media doesn't figure out who he is (evidence for this point is clearly shown when we see clench turn himself off twice in "No TV Makes Mario No Okie Dokie" when mr.puzzles makes himself known near the start of the episode (upper top left of image 8), and when the rest of the smg4 cast is running away from mario while heading towards the basement near the episode's end (lower top left of image 8)). Later on in his plan, he would try to convince Tari to go through the boarded-up door and destroy the object behind it, so that all of this insanity can FINALLY come to an end. However, the second half of clench's plan hasn't happened just yet, BUT we can look at all of the events that lead up to where we are now at the time of writing this, so with this in mind, let's begin by going over the 5-part puzzlevision event. Now, sometime after clench would start the first part of his plan, mr.puzzles would begin to finish executing his own plan by sucking the smg4 cast into his head so he can make his puzzlevision tv shows. During which, he would ask for great reviews for his shows (upper bottom left of image 8), and while he'd get really good reviews, it wasn't the 5 star rating he wanted, and the MK News Media wasn't helping matters whatsoever, because their news headlines and control over the smg4 universe would slowly cause mr.puzzles to hit his limit at the time of MPIGSS. You see, we're made to believe that we are the ones slowly lowering mr.puzzles's ratings throughout the episode (lower bottom left of image 8). However, we are unable to rate puzzlevision episodes until AFTER they come out (upper top right of image 8), so it's more than likely that the MK News Media is rating mr.puzzles's show here, and considering that it's likely them rating MPIGSS, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if mr.puzzles made a deal with them in order to continue making entertainment after the smg4 crew would defeat him, and this potential deal is something we can see being hinted towards in the puzzlevision movie. You see, while the movie starts out with him going crazy while hearing the review by the MK News Media, he somehow maintains his composure to an eerie degree throughout the puzzlevision movie (bottom right of image 8), and strangely, mario spends most of the film not really doing all that much (lower top right of image 8), almost as if a higher power won't let him defeat mr.puzzles. Hell, Mr. Puzzles LITERALLY makes Luigi into a meat mallet despite him intending to kill the cast (top left of image 9), which potentially hints towards him playing a bigger role than we thought with the MK News Media, and there's more still going with these two entities potentially working together, but for now, let's head into the role that MK News Media had in the events of "SMG4 doesn't meme for one second", a seemingly innocent smg4 episode that hides a lot of potential evidence beneath the surface. You see, in this episode we see multiple instances of things in this episode that don't just feel off, they feel, VERY off. You see, this episode starts out with the episode's opening showing a horror movie esc sequence (bottom left of image 9) right before we see smg4 coming across a meme of a spinning fish that causes him to go completely bonkers (top right of image 9). All the while, glitching and static briefly appear and dissappear on screen (bottom right of image 9). Now I shouldn't have to explain why this instance of both glitching and static is important at this point, because we all now that it's an indicator of mr.puzzl- WAIT A DAMN SECOND..... Mr.Puzzles is inactive at the time of this episode, meaning that this couldn't have been him, which also means that.... OH.... OH GOD! Mr.puzzles wasn't the only entity behind the static and glitching in the smg4 universe, and considering that the MK News Media is STILL ACTIVE at this point, then it means that the MK News Media is more than likely responsible for the glitching and static here as well as some other instances of it in the smg4 universe, which is valid evidence towards my earlier point regarding IMWTLMOE and the static at the start of the youtube arc. Now with this in mind, we can head into the next off feeling moment in the episode, which is the behavior of the smg4 cast towards smg4 in the episode's first half (upper top left of image 10). You see, the smg4 cast treats smg4 in a pretty similar way to how mario was treated in IMWTLMOE (as shown in the scene at the lower top left of image 10), and considering just how many times I've talked about this episode before, I seriously don't think I have to go over it again, so let's head into the next off instance in the episode. Now the third off instance in this episode occurs when meggy is showing smg4 some rorschach tests, and when she shows smg4 one of them, we see the subtitles show the extra words "crowd clap" between the words remind and of (upper bottom left of image 10), which is bizarre to say the least, even by smg4 standards, and I already know that some of you are saying that this is just an error on smg4's end, but here’s the thing my dear reader, I know errors in entertainment VERY well. In-fact, I have personal experience as an animator myself, and I can CONFIDENTLY say that I've never seen an "error" like this before in any sort of media I've seen or made, and believe it or not, the closest thing I've seen to an error like this is usually a translation error (examples at the lower bottom left of image 10), or someone typing out a story in English after using their first learned language (that isn't English), but there's a difference between a translation error and the supposed error we're seeing here. You see, translation errors and second language english versions of media tend to have more than one spelling or grammar error throughout its sentences or paragraphs, meaning that this supposed error has nothing to do with translation. Now this leaves another question, "if this isn't that kind of error, then what about it potentially being an auto-correct/auto-fill or dictation error (examples of dictation errors at the upper top right of image 10)? Well that would've potentially been the case if it wasn't for the fact that not only are the words crowd and clap way more different than remind and of, but also due to the fact that THERE ISN'T A SPACE AFTER THE WORD CLAP, meaning that it likely isn't a dictation or autocorrect/auto-fill error either. Meaning that this MUST be completely intentional on smg4's part (aside from the missing space between clap and of, for obvious reasons), but here’s the thing, aside from potentially asking us to clap (for some reason), I'm completely unsure as to what the significance of this is, but I'll definitely be keeping it for future use if needed. Anyways, the final off instance in this episode is that the plot of the episode contradicts itself in the final act as boopkins says that his grandma had died (lower bottom right of image 10), and not his aunt as stated earlier on in this episode (upper bottom right of image 10), which, like the supposed error mentioned earlier, is bizarre, even by smg4 standards. However, I have a slightly crazy, yet plausible explanation for this. You see, I believe that this scene, and by extension, the episode itself are a sort of hidden warning as to what the quality of smg4 episodes will end up being like with the MK News Media in control, with the quality in particular being very bad with plot contradictions, unnecessary "fan service" (as shown with smg4 being abused (upper top left of image 11) (keep in mind that smg4 is now the most hated smg4 character in the fandom (evidence for smg4 being hated is shown at the lower bottom right of image 10)) instead of mario (lower top left of image 11)), and bad humor (upper bottom left of image 11) while still featuring new ideas, which is definitely a horrifying concept if you ask me. Anyways, that should cover the role that MK News Media had in that episode, meaning that we can now discuss the other episode that would cause me to get off of my break early to begin with, "Mario The Exploro." Now this episode surprisingly only has two major points of note, the first of which being at the very start of the episode itself. During which, we see mario suddenly bring in the puzzlevision TV (lower bottom left of image 11) DESPITE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THE SAGA'S 4TH ACT! Now I'm pretty sure I REALLY don't need to explain why this is a MASSIVE PLOT CONTRADICTION, so I'll go ahead and explain why mario was behaving like this at the start of the video. You see, I believe the reason as to why mario was behaving like this at the start of the episode mainly involves not only the boarded-up door, but also the deal between mr.puzzles and the MK News Media. Now, as I discussed earlier, the object of power behind the boarded-up door allows the MK News Media to control almost every single element in the smg4 universe, including mario, and the deal that mr.puzzles and the MK News Media made would let mr.puzzles continue to make entertainment after the events of the puzzlevision movie. This means that the MK News Media used mario to grab mr.puzzles's TV head after the events of the puzzlevision movie, which finished the deal that the two entities agreed on, but there's something else I should mention before getting onto the other point of interest in this episode, this being that mr.puzzles is still interested in taking over smg4's channel (upper top right of image 11). Now with this in mind I have two equally plausible predictions as for what this could lead into. You see, explanation/prediction one is that the MK News Media knew that this would happen, meaning that mr.puzzles would be nothing but a distraction for the smg4 cast so that they don't learn what's truly going on from behind the scenes. Now, explanation/prediction number 2 is far more interesting because it suggests that mr.puzzles could be trying to takeover the smg4 channel this time around, so he can destroy the MK News Media out of revenge for the ratings that MK News gave his shows. This would give mr.puzzles a kind of semi-redemption arc where despite being a reoccurring antagonist, he would not only get potential closure over his past (if foul play was involved in his past), but it would also prove to the smg4 cast that he isn't 100% evil, giving a great ending to a fan favorite smg4 character. Now currently, I'm unsure about which explanation is more likely, but I'll hopefully bring up one of these ideas again in a future theory once more evidence is available. Speaking of which, I should move onto the other major point of note in this episode, that being mr.puzzles's character feeling off, almost as if he's a different character altogether. You see, when we see mr.puzzles, he acts far less malicious than he ever was during the adware saga, and instead of being a complete control-freak like how he was before (lower top right of image 11), he is now obsessive over smg4 and wants to give him ideas (upper bottom right of image 11) instead of forcing smg4 to do these ideas against his will, which is a complete 180 from what we saw in the adware saga. Now, this could potentially mean that mr.puzzles MIGHT have been replaced by somebody else entirely. However I believe that this is too much of a stretch, even by my standards, so I'll be leaving this point up for discussion later on if it EVER becomes relevant in the future. Anyways, with that one last point of discussion finished in what I believe the role of the MK News Media has been in the smg4 timeline, we can move onto the evidence for everything that I've discussed in this section of the theory, so let's begin. Now when discussing the evidence for this section of the theory, I want to start by continuing a kind of tradition in my theories, that being similarities between some of the points of discussion, the predictions for them, and certain well known pieces of media, and yes, we're going over The Truman Show yet again, but for different reasons than you may expect. You see, one of the main reasons why I made this theory the way I did actually involves a certain element of The Truman Show, this being the media shown on the set of The Truman Show itself. Now, there's quite a bit of media in The Truman Show, which ranges from things that are very common nowadays like news segments on tv (Note: APPARENTLY, some nutcase at youtube made it so you can't screenshot certain moments from the film, meaning that I'm unable to supply images for some of these points), or things as old as newspapers (lower bottom right of image 11), BUT they all served the same purpose, MAKING SURE THAT TRUMAN DOESN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT'S TRULY GOING ON. Now, normally I'd bring up how the MK News Media is doing something similar by making sure that the smg4 cast doesn't figure out what's truly going on. HOWEVER, in order to better line it up with the stronger details shown in and after the adware saga, I have decided that instead, I'm going to compare it to the intentions of the MK News Media when regarding the ratings that mr.puzzles recieves throughout the 5-part finale to the adware saga. You see, as I've explained earlier, at the time of the 5-part adware saga finale, the MK News Media was trying to push mr.puzzles into acting the way he does at the time of the puzzlevision movie through the use of news, other media and ratings, which is very similar if not, near identical to what I was explaining earlier when regarding the truman show, which further strengthens my prediction regarding how the MK News Media is using their control over information to cause certain events in the smg4 universe, but this isn't the only similarity that the evidence and my predictions have to The Truman Show. You see, the other major similarity to the truman show that I'd like to discuss is how similar mr.puzzles's return is to that of the return of Truman's "father." You see, in the latter half of the Truman Show's second act, we see Truman's "father", re-appear out of nowhere for ratings (upper top left of image 12) despite the fact that TRUMAN LITERALLY SAW HIM "DIE" WHEN HE WAS A KID (lower top left of image 12), as well as his return genuinely not making that much sense when you consider that truman saw his supposed "father" earlier on in the film (upper bottom left of image 12). Now, you're probably wondering why I'm bringing up this VERY specific scene of the truman show up in my evidence for this theory, and my answer to this is that the return of Truman's "father" is pretty similar to how mr.puzzles returned in the episode "Mario The Exploro." You see, when mr.puzzles returned in Mario The Exploro, his return didn't make all that much sense when you begin to think about it, because not only did mr.puzzles return through the use of mario, a character who actively antagonized him in his shows and wanted to beat the snot out of him during the events of the puzzlevision movie (upper top right of image 12), but also because of the fact that he returned A SINGLE MONTH AFTER THE PUZZLEVISION MOVIE (lower top right of image 12) with barely any build-up towards his return outside of a few community posts (which I'm sure you've seen), which makes his return feel forced, but considering that mr.puzzles's return is pretty similar to what I described earlier regarding the return of Truman's "father," then what if it being forced was the ENTIRE point. After all, if mr.puzzles was just meant to be a distraction for the smg4 cast in order to make sure that they don't figure out that The MK News Media is truly responsible for the events of the adware saga, then mr.puzzles's return a mere month after the adware saga would make perfect sense, strengthening my prediction regarding mr.puzzles's true role in the The MK News Media's grand plan. Anyways, that should cover all the similarities to The Truman Show, so let's head into the rest of the evidence for my predictions in this theory. Now, you might be wondering why I chose VERY SPECIFIC dates when discussing the fall of the original MK News Media, and believe it or not, I specifically chose the dates in-question (the anime, Rapper Bob, and waluigi arc) because of not only the amount of presence the mushroom kingdom news media had at these times, but also due to some other lesser details that go with it as well. You see, The MK News Media had a decent presence in the waluigi arc, as shown in the waluigi apocalypse, where we see a news reporter discussing the waluigi apocalypse at the start of the episode (upper bottom right of image 12). Now, when it comes to the Rapper Bob arc, we actually don't see the MK news media show up at any point during the arc. Which hints towards them potentially being at risk of bankruptcy at this point in time, which would make a whole lot of sense considering that Rapper Bob was quite literally, the most famous person in the mushroom kingdom during that arc. Now, the anime arc is definitely the most interesting when it comes to the evidence for this theory. This is because we not only see the MK News Media going over how anime is destroying the mushroom kingdom right before peach makes anime illegal, but also because of a small yet very important detail being shown here: THE NEWS REPORTER IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN THE LAST ONE! (Lower bottom of image 12) The fact that the old news reporter is completely absent during the news discussing anime is a massive red flag for me personally, because if the original employees weren't replaced, then why is KERMIT THE FLIPPING FROG DOING THE NEWS?! It almost seems intentional on smg4's part, which could be the case given that the genesis arc would happen a year or two later, where we'd learn what happened to the multicolored marios. However, the news reporter no longer being there still does strengthen my theory, meaning that it can be used as genuine evidence. Alright, that should finish off the evidence for the dates discussing the fall of the MK News Media, so let's get into the next category of evidence in this section. Now, when it comes to my evidence as to why the MK News Media would be responsible for mr.puzzles's origins (as mentioned in part one), it mainly involves two inconsistencies with his backstory. You see, mr.puzzles stated that he got his tv head because he apparently decapitated himself before putting a TV where his head used to be (top left of image 13), but there's one major problem with this. You see, when someone is decapitated, they aren't able to control their body (upper bottom left of image 13) (note: it's also implied in the film that mr.puzzles came from a reality like ours, which is makes this inconsistency STAND OUT EVEN MORE (lower bottom left of image 13)), meaning that mr.puzzles wouldn't have been able to put a tv where his head once was, which also means that it's pretty unlikely that he was the person who put the tv in the place of his decapitated head. However, if the MK News Media was somehow able to put the tv where his head used to be, instead of mr.puzzles himself, then mr.puzzles surviving his decapitation would make way more sense in the long run. Now, this brings me into the other inconsistency with mr.puzzles's backstory: If mr.puzzles's tv head was just an average tv that he managed to hook up to where his head used to be, then why does it have ELDRITCH POWERS?! (upper top right of image 13) My answer for this question is that I believe it's HIGHLY likely that The MK News Media gave mr.puzzles his eldritch head to begin with, because it not only would line up perfectly with what I was describing earlier on in this theory regarding the MK News Media, but also because it would explain why the word "Puzzlevision" is on his head to begin with (lower top right of image 13), because it wouldn't make that much sense for mr.puzzles to name his streaming service after the word on his head (uppwd bottom of image 13). Further proving that mr.puzzles's head came from the MK News Media, as well as strengthening my theory. Now when it comes to my evidence regarding the involvement the MK News Media had in prior events, it mainly lies with how the specific events in question play out. You see, in the first example I mentioned, "Mario's Spicy day," smg4 doesn't try to stop smg3 until he sees smg3's spicy ones video. Now, normally, this wouldn't be all that suspicious. HOWEVER, smg3's video was the only video in his feed (aside from the video he was watching beforehand), which is insanely suspicious, because it subtly implies potential foul play by another entity, which is further strengthened by the glitch that shows up on his computer right before the video plays. Originally, I thought that the static in this scene was caused by mr.puzzles. However, considering that there's evidence towards the MK News Media also being a culprit of the glitches, then it's highly likely that they were the ones responsible for the glitching shown in this scene. Now I've already explained the example with peach and the anime ban, so let's discuss how the MK News Media was responsible for lawyer kong's knowledge of smg4's origins. You see, as I discussed in one of my last theories before I went on break, we NEVER truly learn how lawyer kong obtained his knowledge of smg4's past, or why he didn't decide to go after the meme guardian until after the genesis arc. However, there's a subtle hint towards how he gained his knowledge when we see him show Miyamoto a video while explaining to him what smg4's arrival in the mushroom kingdom caused. You see, right before the video plays we can catch a brief instance of static on lawyer kong's smart device (lower bottom right of image 13), which hints towards another entity potentially giving lawyer kong this information, and like the previous example, I originally thought that mr.puzzles was responsible for this instance, but with the MK News Media also being responsible for some of the static instances in the smg4 timeline, then it's likely that they are responsible for this one as well. Now, when it comes to the last 2 prior events that I connected to the MK News Media earlier on in this theory (IMWTLMOE, and Clown Fever), I actually don't want to discuss how the MK News Media would be responsible for these events because I've gone over these two episodes many times before (especially the former). However, I do want to discuss why the MK News Media would eventually choose to scrap these potential storylines because it actually involves us, aka the viewers. You see, the viewers or in other words, us, seem to be the strongest entities in the smg4 universe because our negative reactions to the lawsuit arc and character redesigns (top of image 14) would end up changing the smg4 universe forever by setting the events of IGBP, and the adware saga in motion (bottom of image 14), and considering that we caused IGBP to happen in the first place, then it's highly likely that our negative reactions to IMWTLMOE and Clown Fever would cause their potential arcs to be scrapped. After all, IMWTLMOE is literally the second lowest rated (on IMDB) smg4 episode ever made, and clown fever was criticized because the clown fever in the episode was too similar to the T-Pose Virus, so it would genuinely make a ton of sense that our negative reactions would cause these storylines to be scrapped. Now, that should cover all of the other pieces of evidence that I have for this theory, but I do want to mention some final predictions that I have for the next major arc/saga in the greater current storyline that we're in. You see, I believe that the next major part in the current greater storyline is going to be an arc and not a saga. You see, if I'm right about what I mentioned earlier on in this theory, then the story that's going to be told will be too short for it to be a saga, due to it likely being somewhat similar to how the revelations arc played out. In other words, the story will be shorter, building upon what came before in the adware saga, will close up any remaining loose ends from the adware saga, introduce a threat greater than that of the original antagonist, and end the storyline on a very satisfying note. Now, I also believe that this arc is likely going to be 7 episodes long, mainly because it feels like the right amount of episodes needed for this final chapter of the greater storyline, which would give ample time to close off the remaining loose ends while also building off of what we already have from the adware saga. Finally, I believe that the true finale of this storyline will probably be a movie instead of meme games or wotfi 2024. This is because the meme games happens in July, and considering that it's late may as I'm currently writing this, then it's pretty unlikely that the greater storyline will conclude with meme games 2024. As for wotfi 2024, it'd likely be too far off for it to be the saga's finale due to Wotfi usually happening in October, and considering that mr.puzzles has returned already, then it'd be pretty unlikely for the finale to be wotfi 2024, meaning that the finale being a movie is the most likely option. And that should be everything that I wanted to cover, thank you for reading. |
2024.05.27 22:34 Optimal-Citron-7971 My Boyfriend had a Work Wife, but in School. I now Have Jealousy Issue. How can I Overcome it?
Note: It's gonna be a long post. TLDR is at the bottom (last paragraph and bolded). It's the main points without the story details. I still detailed what advice I'm seeking for.
My boyfriend (M21) and I (F21) went to different schools at that time. He always sat with these 2 lass whom he met months before we first met. They were close friends and he would take care of them because they were outcasts. They were also academically unblessed and unbothered, so he always tried to carry their grades and force them to study, while making sure to try including them in class so they feel like they’re a part of the whole class. It was noble. I never minded him having female best friends as I, too, have my guy best friends. It would be hypocritical for me to not be okay with it while I keep my guy best friends.
The 2 girls… Let’s call them Wuendy and Delilah. Delilah isn’t academically bright and she puts in no effort in her school work. She had a sweet personality and was in a healthy relationship with a man who treated her like the princess that she is. Wuendy was relatively brighter than Delilah and lowkey studied. Wuendy had a boyfriend, but she was constantly simping over mainland Chinese boys and would always ask my boyfriend to accompany her walk around school during recess to simp over those guys. She was essentially just waiting for a handsome China boyfriend (in her words) so that she could dump his handsome Chinese Malaysian boyfriend (not Chinese enough, apparently). She openly said so to everyone. I never suspected anything from their end. Delilah was preoccupied with her love life and Wuendy suggested a date activity for the both of us. I thought they were innocent, supportive, and respectful of our relationship. That was until he started telling me more things about their friendship as time went by.
It all started when he told me Delilah proposed to them to make a family group chat, with my boyfriend as the father, Wuendy as the mother, and Delilah as the daughter. I thought that it was pretty cute, as I, myself, have a friendship group similar to that, although the father and mother of our group chat never considered themselves married, just coparenting. I didn’t voice out any objections and was supportive. He told me that Wuendy started calling him husband, Delilah called him father, while he started calling Wuendy wifey and Delilah daughter; all in Chinese. I wasn’t too pleased with it but kept quiet because I thought it was innocent. Moreover, my boyfriend was open about it and allowed me to read his text messages with them whenever I please, without having to ask him in advance. I have all of his passwords and he encouraged me to use his phone as I pleased.
While I didn’t think much of the nicknames, Wuendy started leaning too much into their pretend roles. She would make inappropriate jokes like, “Who’s the mistress here? Me or your girlfriend?” or make remarks about being jealous that my boyfriend prioritised me by giving me his full attention when he was with me instead of checking his phone to reply to her. There were more. I felt uneasy but kept quiet. He started telling me more about the jokes and all, and it was clear to me that he was oblivious to what was going on. He didn’t have many friends growing up, so his social skills and his ability to read what’s up in normal interaction is not at a similar level as most people. He also views people too positively and innocently, so I get why he was oblivious to it.
Anyway, on new year’s day, I read his reply text to her, wishing her happy new year’s day while calling her wifey. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I talked to him about it later that day, alongside my reasoning for it. He was pretty shocked because he never thought much of it, but said that I made sense. He agreed to immediately stop calling her wifey and talked to her about he no longer wanted to be hubby-wifey with her and that she would be demoted to being a daughter; she threw a mini fit over it. He corrected her whenever she called him hubby. I was pleased with his response, but still had a bad feeling about her.
I continued observing them and decided to read his text messages with them. I saw errors from both ends. I brought it up to my boyfriend and explained why she was wrong for saying all that stuff, and why he was wrong to say certain things or for taking the joke too far. We spent hours talking and he apologised. He told me he didn’t think of it as such and that he now understands that he was in the wrong. He agreed to set even more boundaries with her and to limit online and offline interactions. He talked to her and she agreed to talk to him less. I did see that she has texted him less, but he told me that she remained the same in person and even got emotionally and verbally cuddlier with him. I told him no shit because now it’s untraceable and unobservable from my end. He agreed to enforce more distance between them in offline interactions as well.
After a long time of feeling uneasy about her, I decided to read his text messages with them. I saw that she said inappropriate things to her and him too. I recalled some of it being the ones he texted her in front of me (he never hid it from me) and I remember him laughing because he thought it was a funny joke. I remembered those texts making me uncomfortable, although I didn’t voice it out. I sat him down and we went through the text messages together. He understood his mistakes and was introduced to the work spouse terminology. He understood that he was wrong and promised to change. He did change and kept even more distance with her.
Despite him talking to her again about wanting more distance and boundaries with her, she kept getting non-physically cuddlier with him. She would act cute to get his attention, throw a fit when she didn’t get his attention, be more affectionate to him, and constantly bother him in class.
I eventually couldn’t take it anymore and asked him to block her everywhere. After a lengthy discussion, he agreed. He wrote her a final text before blocking her, detailing why he will be blocking her everywhere. He also pointed out her rooms for improvements in a kind and compassionate manner, then wishing her the best. He blocked her on all social media accounts, email included, shortly after.
Wuendy apparently showed Delilah about his text and Delilah sided with us, telling Wuendy that Wuendy was being inappropriately close to my boyfriend, even after being told off multiple times. Wuendy ghosted Delilah afterwards.
I honestly was hoping she would be more respectful about our relationship and be better after he talked to her about it. If she was, I wouldn’t mind them being friends. Everyone makes mistakes and I forgive remorseful people. I wouldn’t have complained about her so much and asked my boyfriend to take more extreme measures if she stopped and respected the boundary, that would’ve been the end of it. I would’ve been fine with them being friends and I wouldn’t further complain about her. It irritated me because I was hoping that she would be respectful and back off, but she didn’t.
I was never the jealous type until she pulled those shenanigans. Now, I am more sensitive to him interacting with other females. I try to resolve my own jealousy and not let it negatively impact anybody. For instance, when he became friends with a colleague, I told him I was jealous but asked him to help me overcome it. I asked him to not let my jealousy ruin their professional relationship because my jealousy was rooted in insecurity, not anything factual or logical (apart from the fact that she was smart, pretty, and younger than me). I get more suspicious if he initiates talk with females, even for assignments. I have tried to keep it under control and not lash out unless it’s another Wuendy case. I hate the fact that I now easily feel jealous and insecure ever since the Wuendy case. My then boyfriend, now fiance, has really improved himself and has changed for the better. He would also take immediate actions to soothe my jealousy by minimising contact with them or something like that. Still, I would be jealous and insecure, even towards females who are nothing but amazing and respectful. I would even get jealous when he talks to his female colleague about work. I fear that it might end up getting out of hand. I don't want to be a crazy possessive and overly jealous partner. How can I resolve this new jealousy issue of mine before it gets out of hand? Therapy is currently not an option due to the price and our tight schedule. I'm seeking for internal solution that doesn't involve him. I know he would take immediate actions, as always, but I want to solve it internally so I don't get jealous over things like him talking to his lecturer about his assignments or something. That's just ridiculous and I know that. What can I do about myself?
Apart from the advice, I would appreciate hearing what the readers about the Wuendy situation regarding Wuendy, my boyfriend, my response to it, and how my boyfriend and I handled it together.
Thank you!
TLDR: My boyfriend unknowingly entered into a "work marriage." He apologised and cut it off after I brought it up to him, but his former "work wife" didn't want to let it go. Even after he set boundaries multiple times and asked her to leave him alone, she didn't respect it. She continued making disrespectful remarks about our relationship and started acting more inappropriately around my boyfriend after he started ghosting her in person due to her worsening disrespect. He eventually cut him off, but I'm now getting constantly and overly jealous, even for ridiculous things like him talking to a female colleague or classmate about work or studies. I don't want it to go out of hand. What can I do internally handle my jealousy issue. Therapy is not an option due to cost and schedule. I don't wish to involve him in this advice seeking. I will talk to him about my feelings and solve it together, but I want advice on how I can manage my own feelings independently. I don't always want to express all of my irrational jealousy. I want to be able to manage it on my own, but unsure how. Apart from advice, I want to know what the readers think about the Wuendy situation regarding Wuendy, my boyfriend, my response to it, and how my boyfriend and I handled it together. Thank you!
submitted by Optimal-Citron-7971 to relationships [link] [comments]
My boyfriend (M21) and I (F21) went to different schools at that time. He always sat with these 2 lass whom he met months before we first met. They were close friends and he would take care of them because they were outcasts. They were also academically unblessed and unbothered, so he always tried to carry their grades and force them to study, while making sure to try including them in class so they feel like they’re a part of the whole class. It was noble. I never minded him having female best friends as I, too, have my guy best friends. It would be hypocritical for me to not be okay with it while I keep my guy best friends.
The 2 girls… Let’s call them Wuendy and Delilah. Delilah isn’t academically bright and she puts in no effort in her school work. She had a sweet personality and was in a healthy relationship with a man who treated her like the princess that she is. Wuendy was relatively brighter than Delilah and lowkey studied. Wuendy had a boyfriend, but she was constantly simping over mainland Chinese boys and would always ask my boyfriend to accompany her walk around school during recess to simp over those guys. She was essentially just waiting for a handsome China boyfriend (in her words) so that she could dump his handsome Chinese Malaysian boyfriend (not Chinese enough, apparently). She openly said so to everyone. I never suspected anything from their end. Delilah was preoccupied with her love life and Wuendy suggested a date activity for the both of us. I thought they were innocent, supportive, and respectful of our relationship. That was until he started telling me more things about their friendship as time went by.
It all started when he told me Delilah proposed to them to make a family group chat, with my boyfriend as the father, Wuendy as the mother, and Delilah as the daughter. I thought that it was pretty cute, as I, myself, have a friendship group similar to that, although the father and mother of our group chat never considered themselves married, just coparenting. I didn’t voice out any objections and was supportive. He told me that Wuendy started calling him husband, Delilah called him father, while he started calling Wuendy wifey and Delilah daughter; all in Chinese. I wasn’t too pleased with it but kept quiet because I thought it was innocent. Moreover, my boyfriend was open about it and allowed me to read his text messages with them whenever I please, without having to ask him in advance. I have all of his passwords and he encouraged me to use his phone as I pleased.
While I didn’t think much of the nicknames, Wuendy started leaning too much into their pretend roles. She would make inappropriate jokes like, “Who’s the mistress here? Me or your girlfriend?” or make remarks about being jealous that my boyfriend prioritised me by giving me his full attention when he was with me instead of checking his phone to reply to her. There were more. I felt uneasy but kept quiet. He started telling me more about the jokes and all, and it was clear to me that he was oblivious to what was going on. He didn’t have many friends growing up, so his social skills and his ability to read what’s up in normal interaction is not at a similar level as most people. He also views people too positively and innocently, so I get why he was oblivious to it.
Anyway, on new year’s day, I read his reply text to her, wishing her happy new year’s day while calling her wifey. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I talked to him about it later that day, alongside my reasoning for it. He was pretty shocked because he never thought much of it, but said that I made sense. He agreed to immediately stop calling her wifey and talked to her about he no longer wanted to be hubby-wifey with her and that she would be demoted to being a daughter; she threw a mini fit over it. He corrected her whenever she called him hubby. I was pleased with his response, but still had a bad feeling about her.
I continued observing them and decided to read his text messages with them. I saw errors from both ends. I brought it up to my boyfriend and explained why she was wrong for saying all that stuff, and why he was wrong to say certain things or for taking the joke too far. We spent hours talking and he apologised. He told me he didn’t think of it as such and that he now understands that he was in the wrong. He agreed to set even more boundaries with her and to limit online and offline interactions. He talked to her and she agreed to talk to him less. I did see that she has texted him less, but he told me that she remained the same in person and even got emotionally and verbally cuddlier with him. I told him no shit because now it’s untraceable and unobservable from my end. He agreed to enforce more distance between them in offline interactions as well.
After a long time of feeling uneasy about her, I decided to read his text messages with them. I saw that she said inappropriate things to her and him too. I recalled some of it being the ones he texted her in front of me (he never hid it from me) and I remember him laughing because he thought it was a funny joke. I remembered those texts making me uncomfortable, although I didn’t voice it out. I sat him down and we went through the text messages together. He understood his mistakes and was introduced to the work spouse terminology. He understood that he was wrong and promised to change. He did change and kept even more distance with her.
Despite him talking to her again about wanting more distance and boundaries with her, she kept getting non-physically cuddlier with him. She would act cute to get his attention, throw a fit when she didn’t get his attention, be more affectionate to him, and constantly bother him in class.
I eventually couldn’t take it anymore and asked him to block her everywhere. After a lengthy discussion, he agreed. He wrote her a final text before blocking her, detailing why he will be blocking her everywhere. He also pointed out her rooms for improvements in a kind and compassionate manner, then wishing her the best. He blocked her on all social media accounts, email included, shortly after.
Wuendy apparently showed Delilah about his text and Delilah sided with us, telling Wuendy that Wuendy was being inappropriately close to my boyfriend, even after being told off multiple times. Wuendy ghosted Delilah afterwards.
I honestly was hoping she would be more respectful about our relationship and be better after he talked to her about it. If she was, I wouldn’t mind them being friends. Everyone makes mistakes and I forgive remorseful people. I wouldn’t have complained about her so much and asked my boyfriend to take more extreme measures if she stopped and respected the boundary, that would’ve been the end of it. I would’ve been fine with them being friends and I wouldn’t further complain about her. It irritated me because I was hoping that she would be respectful and back off, but she didn’t.
I was never the jealous type until she pulled those shenanigans. Now, I am more sensitive to him interacting with other females. I try to resolve my own jealousy and not let it negatively impact anybody. For instance, when he became friends with a colleague, I told him I was jealous but asked him to help me overcome it. I asked him to not let my jealousy ruin their professional relationship because my jealousy was rooted in insecurity, not anything factual or logical (apart from the fact that she was smart, pretty, and younger than me). I get more suspicious if he initiates talk with females, even for assignments. I have tried to keep it under control and not lash out unless it’s another Wuendy case. I hate the fact that I now easily feel jealous and insecure ever since the Wuendy case. My then boyfriend, now fiance, has really improved himself and has changed for the better. He would also take immediate actions to soothe my jealousy by minimising contact with them or something like that. Still, I would be jealous and insecure, even towards females who are nothing but amazing and respectful. I would even get jealous when he talks to his female colleague about work. I fear that it might end up getting out of hand. I don't want to be a crazy possessive and overly jealous partner. How can I resolve this new jealousy issue of mine before it gets out of hand? Therapy is currently not an option due to the price and our tight schedule. I'm seeking for internal solution that doesn't involve him. I know he would take immediate actions, as always, but I want to solve it internally so I don't get jealous over things like him talking to his lecturer about his assignments or something. That's just ridiculous and I know that. What can I do about myself?
Apart from the advice, I would appreciate hearing what the readers about the Wuendy situation regarding Wuendy, my boyfriend, my response to it, and how my boyfriend and I handled it together.
Thank you!
TLDR: My boyfriend unknowingly entered into a "work marriage." He apologised and cut it off after I brought it up to him, but his former "work wife" didn't want to let it go. Even after he set boundaries multiple times and asked her to leave him alone, she didn't respect it. She continued making disrespectful remarks about our relationship and started acting more inappropriately around my boyfriend after he started ghosting her in person due to her worsening disrespect. He eventually cut him off, but I'm now getting constantly and overly jealous, even for ridiculous things like him talking to a female colleague or classmate about work or studies. I don't want it to go out of hand. What can I do internally handle my jealousy issue. Therapy is not an option due to cost and schedule. I don't wish to involve him in this advice seeking. I will talk to him about my feelings and solve it together, but I want advice on how I can manage my own feelings independently. I don't always want to express all of my irrational jealousy. I want to be able to manage it on my own, but unsure how. Apart from advice, I want to know what the readers think about the Wuendy situation regarding Wuendy, my boyfriend, my response to it, and how my boyfriend and I handled it together. Thank you!
2024.05.27 08:50 7ciryl i feel like im cursed
ive never been able to comprehend the idea of death. children tend to not understand concepts such as these, but i never grew to fully grasp what death truly is. sure, theyre gone, but it always has felt like they just stopped being in my life rather than in life itself. that being said, i feel like ive experienced more loss than most people do at my age.
this post does include mentions of suicide, cancer, and other possibly heavy topics.
11 - my uncle had drowned in a lake i grew up swimming in, despite being with friends who knew he didnt know how to swim. they were out on a boat because he loved fishing, but when it came to what happened, they all told different stories, and his death was deemed just an accident. i was meant to go to his funeral, but my mom never took me because it was an open casket, and she felt as though i was too young to attend. i appreciate that decision today, but i still refuse to swim, and my family never understands why.
12 - i had an online friend who meant the world to me. looking back on it, i realize i had feelings for her and never got the chance to tell her. in july of that year, a little over a month before her birthday, she sent me a text. i read the first sentence of the long message and had this bad feeling in my gut. i never had experience with suicide before this, but something just didnt feel right. i called her immediately, and she did pick up, but a selfish part of me wishes i hadnt called. she was crying and telling me how much she loved me, but she couldnt "do this anymore," then i heard a thud. she wasnt responding to me, and within a few excruciatingly long minutes, i heard her mom, whom i was somewhat close with, scream. it haunted me for so long, and sometimes still does. i was never able to attend her funeral, and this is when my own suicidal ideation began.
14-15 - while i wont go into complete detail because id be here forever, i started dating this girl while i was 14 during the summer before my sophomore year. in the beginning, she was the sweetest and most loving girl. though, towards the end of january of the following year, when i was newly 15 (born in nov), she started to act weird. when i told her i had just found out my aunt had passed, she started acting weird, and we were never normal again. while i was grieving, she started to withdraw from our relationship and always claimed it to be a depressive episode whenever i confronted her about it. she was easily irritable, secretive, defensive, all the signs were right in my face. this is when she had started talking to the guy shed later cheat on me with. she had always been a bit manipulative, but from this point until we broke up for the final time, it got worse. she had become verbally abusive, constantly berating me and telling me im the problem. we broke up once in march of that year, which i found out was because she had started dating the guy she was talking to a month prior, then she got back together with me at the beginning of april for a week before breaking up with me again and blocking me everywhere. this sent me into temporary insanity as she had completely isolated me from everyone but her prior to breaking up with me. i felt like my entire life had fallen apart and that i was the horrible person she made me out to be. shed later unblock me for a bit before telling me to take my life and blocking me again for the final time, and i had genuinely considered it. alas, im still here, writing this.
15 - as i mentioned in the previous paragraph, my aunt had died in january, two months after my 15th birthday. ive been surrounded by substance abuse my entire life -- which is why i hate it when my friends talk about their addictions now -- mostly consisting of cigarettes, alcohol, and occasionally drugs from extended family. my aunt was a smoker and had gotten lung cancer a year prior to her passing, but "beat it" six months before that day. we threw a party for her at her home, but when i realized she was asleep in her bedroom through the whole thing, i just had this bad feeling i couldnt shake. everyone said she was just tired from the chemotherapy, so i left it be. turned out, she hadnt stopped smoking, and a combination of her throat swelling from her treatment and her smoking her way back to lung cancer would later lead to her passing. this was the first funeral id be able to attend. it was an open casket, and it did change me. though it just looked like she was sleeping the entire time, seeing her laying there like that left me a different person. on top of that, i had drama going on with my friends and at the time girlfriend, so i had no one to go to about this. they knew, but they were never really there. i didnt even cry at the funeral. it took me months before i cried. i sometimes have dreams about her.
16 (now) - i recently lost someone who i wasnt incredibly close to, but id still consider a good friend. he went to my school, was a volunteer firefighter, had gotten his emt license less than a week before he passed, and was just an amazing guy all-around. he took his life may 10th, a friday night. i found out the next morning from a friend who knew him longer than i did. his death was one i grieved instantly for some reason. i cried that day, and the next, and especially the first day back to school since i had found out. i went to his celebration of life, along with hundreds of people, including: classmates, the fire team, the police team, his friends, his family, his girlfriend, it was like everyone in town was there for him. he had done it just a week before his 18th birthday. he was so close to graduating, and i just wish i knew what went wrong.
two weeks later, this girl i was "friends with benefits" with, i guess, broke things off with me because it was "too much rn." that was 4-5 days ago, and we havent talked since. she was the only thing keeping me grounded in life. shes been such a sweetheart, and i cant help but feel like i treated her like shit. was it me? was there someone else? was it truly just too much for her? i dont know. i just wish i knew. i miss her.
not technically yesterday, because its 2am while im writing this, but i guess the day before i got into an argument with a friend of mine, whom i happened to have a romantic history with, but no longer have. it wasnt necessarily a fight, but she sure made it one. short run-down of it: i trusted her enough to tell her that the way she was treating me was upsetting me after she suggested i talk to her instead of a friend of mine who shes never liked. i told her that i cant do that because she always appears to be mad at me or just uninterested, and she grew defensive and practically ignored my point the entire conversation. she was saying things like, "youre acting like im some evil abusive monster," despite me delivering it gently and trying to communicate with her, not demonize her or call her a shitty person. shes always been defensive whenever i try to talk about these things with her, but its never ended how it did the other night. she blocked me, only on the platform we were arguing on, which confused me but nevertheless was upsetting.
ive lost a lot of friends over the years, and i left a lot of it out of this post, but i tend to attract these horrible people who make my life harder when its already in such horrible spots and i have no idea how.
right now, im grieving so many people, and one of the three most recent i cant ever speak to again. its one thing if they left my life, i can try to fight for them back, or even just hope that ill see them again one day, but hes forever gone and theres nothing i can do about it. i miss everyone so, so much. my life was just getting better, and now ive lost everything in less than a month. i feel so alone. my constant suicidal ideation ended back when i was 14, only really popping up when it came to that one ex-girlfriend of mine, but lately, its been so terrible. id never do anything, i couldnt ever do anything, but i want it to be over so, so bad. i guess passive suicidal ideation is the term for it. im just so lost, so tired, and so done.
i feel as though everyone around me dies one way or another, like im somehow causing all of this by being in their lives. i know thats not possible, but it feels like its a better idea to never be around anyone again. i could never hurt them that way or lead them to getting hurt, yknow? i want them to be happy. i just want them to be okay.
this post was way longer than it should have been, and i still didnt even say everything i wanted to say, but i feel its best to stop now. if you took the time to read all of this -- thank you.
submitted by 7ciryl to GriefSupport [link] [comments]
this post does include mentions of suicide, cancer, and other possibly heavy topics.
11 - my uncle had drowned in a lake i grew up swimming in, despite being with friends who knew he didnt know how to swim. they were out on a boat because he loved fishing, but when it came to what happened, they all told different stories, and his death was deemed just an accident. i was meant to go to his funeral, but my mom never took me because it was an open casket, and she felt as though i was too young to attend. i appreciate that decision today, but i still refuse to swim, and my family never understands why.
12 - i had an online friend who meant the world to me. looking back on it, i realize i had feelings for her and never got the chance to tell her. in july of that year, a little over a month before her birthday, she sent me a text. i read the first sentence of the long message and had this bad feeling in my gut. i never had experience with suicide before this, but something just didnt feel right. i called her immediately, and she did pick up, but a selfish part of me wishes i hadnt called. she was crying and telling me how much she loved me, but she couldnt "do this anymore," then i heard a thud. she wasnt responding to me, and within a few excruciatingly long minutes, i heard her mom, whom i was somewhat close with, scream. it haunted me for so long, and sometimes still does. i was never able to attend her funeral, and this is when my own suicidal ideation began.
14-15 - while i wont go into complete detail because id be here forever, i started dating this girl while i was 14 during the summer before my sophomore year. in the beginning, she was the sweetest and most loving girl. though, towards the end of january of the following year, when i was newly 15 (born in nov), she started to act weird. when i told her i had just found out my aunt had passed, she started acting weird, and we were never normal again. while i was grieving, she started to withdraw from our relationship and always claimed it to be a depressive episode whenever i confronted her about it. she was easily irritable, secretive, defensive, all the signs were right in my face. this is when she had started talking to the guy shed later cheat on me with. she had always been a bit manipulative, but from this point until we broke up for the final time, it got worse. she had become verbally abusive, constantly berating me and telling me im the problem. we broke up once in march of that year, which i found out was because she had started dating the guy she was talking to a month prior, then she got back together with me at the beginning of april for a week before breaking up with me again and blocking me everywhere. this sent me into temporary insanity as she had completely isolated me from everyone but her prior to breaking up with me. i felt like my entire life had fallen apart and that i was the horrible person she made me out to be. shed later unblock me for a bit before telling me to take my life and blocking me again for the final time, and i had genuinely considered it. alas, im still here, writing this.
15 - as i mentioned in the previous paragraph, my aunt had died in january, two months after my 15th birthday. ive been surrounded by substance abuse my entire life -- which is why i hate it when my friends talk about their addictions now -- mostly consisting of cigarettes, alcohol, and occasionally drugs from extended family. my aunt was a smoker and had gotten lung cancer a year prior to her passing, but "beat it" six months before that day. we threw a party for her at her home, but when i realized she was asleep in her bedroom through the whole thing, i just had this bad feeling i couldnt shake. everyone said she was just tired from the chemotherapy, so i left it be. turned out, she hadnt stopped smoking, and a combination of her throat swelling from her treatment and her smoking her way back to lung cancer would later lead to her passing. this was the first funeral id be able to attend. it was an open casket, and it did change me. though it just looked like she was sleeping the entire time, seeing her laying there like that left me a different person. on top of that, i had drama going on with my friends and at the time girlfriend, so i had no one to go to about this. they knew, but they were never really there. i didnt even cry at the funeral. it took me months before i cried. i sometimes have dreams about her.
16 (now) - i recently lost someone who i wasnt incredibly close to, but id still consider a good friend. he went to my school, was a volunteer firefighter, had gotten his emt license less than a week before he passed, and was just an amazing guy all-around. he took his life may 10th, a friday night. i found out the next morning from a friend who knew him longer than i did. his death was one i grieved instantly for some reason. i cried that day, and the next, and especially the first day back to school since i had found out. i went to his celebration of life, along with hundreds of people, including: classmates, the fire team, the police team, his friends, his family, his girlfriend, it was like everyone in town was there for him. he had done it just a week before his 18th birthday. he was so close to graduating, and i just wish i knew what went wrong.
two weeks later, this girl i was "friends with benefits" with, i guess, broke things off with me because it was "too much rn." that was 4-5 days ago, and we havent talked since. she was the only thing keeping me grounded in life. shes been such a sweetheart, and i cant help but feel like i treated her like shit. was it me? was there someone else? was it truly just too much for her? i dont know. i just wish i knew. i miss her.
not technically yesterday, because its 2am while im writing this, but i guess the day before i got into an argument with a friend of mine, whom i happened to have a romantic history with, but no longer have. it wasnt necessarily a fight, but she sure made it one. short run-down of it: i trusted her enough to tell her that the way she was treating me was upsetting me after she suggested i talk to her instead of a friend of mine who shes never liked. i told her that i cant do that because she always appears to be mad at me or just uninterested, and she grew defensive and practically ignored my point the entire conversation. she was saying things like, "youre acting like im some evil abusive monster," despite me delivering it gently and trying to communicate with her, not demonize her or call her a shitty person. shes always been defensive whenever i try to talk about these things with her, but its never ended how it did the other night. she blocked me, only on the platform we were arguing on, which confused me but nevertheless was upsetting.
ive lost a lot of friends over the years, and i left a lot of it out of this post, but i tend to attract these horrible people who make my life harder when its already in such horrible spots and i have no idea how.
right now, im grieving so many people, and one of the three most recent i cant ever speak to again. its one thing if they left my life, i can try to fight for them back, or even just hope that ill see them again one day, but hes forever gone and theres nothing i can do about it. i miss everyone so, so much. my life was just getting better, and now ive lost everything in less than a month. i feel so alone. my constant suicidal ideation ended back when i was 14, only really popping up when it came to that one ex-girlfriend of mine, but lately, its been so terrible. id never do anything, i couldnt ever do anything, but i want it to be over so, so bad. i guess passive suicidal ideation is the term for it. im just so lost, so tired, and so done.
i feel as though everyone around me dies one way or another, like im somehow causing all of this by being in their lives. i know thats not possible, but it feels like its a better idea to never be around anyone again. i could never hurt them that way or lead them to getting hurt, yknow? i want them to be happy. i just want them to be okay.
this post was way longer than it should have been, and i still didnt even say everything i wanted to say, but i feel its best to stop now. if you took the time to read all of this -- thank you.