Before you say ridiculous, here's some Australia specific Rugby problems:

• Massive competition between sports codes - Rugby in Australia is absolutely eclipsed by the NRL and AFL, My gut feeling says that Aussies prefer to watch a sport they don't get annihilated in week on week, and they actually like to see their teams win but there is another reason: there is actually a tribal culture around NRL and AFL teams. People LOVE the rivalry and camaraderie of footy club culture in Australia and Super Rugby teams playing in empty cavernous stadiums just don't have that. Conversely, half of the Shute shield teams now have more enaged fans than the Tahs, Force or Rebels. I've never seen someone with a NSW Waratahs tattoo, I have at least 3 mates in Sydney with a Rabbitohs tattoo on their ass. It's a different level of passion.
• No Development Pathways - whether you blame it on rugby league or the Randwick Rugby Club nepo babies, there are only 150 Professional Rugby contracts available in Australia. Most of those contracts are taken up by established professionals, and since 3rd tier Rugby Like Shute Shield pays in popcorn and free skydiving tickets young talented rugby players graduating out of school get no benefit out of the Rugby development system. Compare that to the 500+ NRL contracts, plus the development NRL contracts that have a minimum wage of 80K a year, no wonder the talent leaks away from rugby.
• Representative based system, rather than clubs - Australian Super Rugby teams aren't really clubs, They're rep footy sides run by the governing body(excepting whatever is happening at Western Force). From a sports administration point of view this really muddies the waters of how the organisation can operate, appoint board members, CEO's etc(Australian laws around sports clubs also allow for clubs to run their own venue like a pub for members, generating consistent revenue streams, which the SR teams do not qualify for).

Where am I going with this?
In Short, A 10-12 team domestic competition modelled on English & french domestic comps. 2 Pacific Island Teams, Brumbies, 3 NSW teams, 3 QLD teams, Western Force and Melbourne Rebels. There would be growing pains, the initial quality would not be the same as Super Rugby and it would take time to build fan bases, BUT:
You address all 3 of these points. The new teams would be able to capitalise on localised fanbase rather than a fairly nebulous state team, teams could play at mid sized local stadiums and create an atmosphere like the Tahs experienced at Leichhardt oval in 2021(I have never seen such a raucous turnout for Rugby Union as those games in Balmain). You would have twice as many professional contracts available to incentivise young talent to give pro Rugby a crack. The new clubs would have much more self determination and freedom to operate as a business. tick, tick, tick.
Problems:
Initial broadcast revenue would not be equivalent to the Super Rugby revenue. Contracts will not be as lucrative as the current ones available. Inevitably plenty of star talent will be lost to overseas franchises in the startup phase. Andrew Forrest(owner of the Western Force) was ready to create 'Global Rapid Rugby' and bankroll a breakaway comp back in 2018-19, only concluded by the Force being allowed back in to SR during covid in 2020.
I don't think NZ would be keen on this model in their domestic comp bc with a population of 5 Million it's a real push to support more professional teams than they already do. Their depth of talent is obviously insane but can that many fans support a professional league? Maybe with the obsessive rugby culture they have it could.
The BONUS
Ever heard of the European Champions Cup? Welcome to the Pacific Champions Cup. This is where the broadcast cash gets interesting: the top 2 teams from the Australian, New Zealand and Japanese Domestic Rugby competitions duke it out exactly the way that the European rugby sides do. This idea really gets my tail up and adds an international club element that the other codes in Australia really lack.
As imposing as creating a new comp from scratch is, Super Rugby is dying a slow, public death. I'm interested to hear everyone else's solutions to the demise of Super Rugby pacific.

( If you've seen this post already it is because this is a correctly flaired repost :) )
Hi everyone, I just saw the new Danny video and I couldn't help but make this post ( I hope no one has done this already ).
In the beginning of the video, Danny comments about them creating the Titanic sequel ( the boat not the movie ) and I just needed to say... They kinda already did.
I'm about to get real nerdy so bear with me for a moment.
In 1914 the people who made the Titanic ( White Star line ) decided to give it one last try and created the RMS Brittanic. The RMS Britannic was the last vessel in the Olympic class of ocean liners which consisted of three sister ships, The RMS Olympic, The RMS Titanic, and The RMS Britannic.
The Britannic began its construction in November 1911 and was finished in February 1914, it weighed about 48 tons ( give or take a bunch ) and costed around 200,000 pounds to build. The original intention was for the ship to be a luxury vessel made for taking some nice ocean vacations, but because of World War One, it never debuted as a cruise instead becoming a hospital ship. One notable thing is that because of the Titanic sinking, the Britannic was forced to take multiple extra safety measures ( like lifeboats ).
The RMS Britannic finally had her maiden voyage in December 1915 when she ( unlike her older sister ) successfully sailed from England ( Liverpool ) to Greece ( Lemnos ) to pick up various casualties. It didn't take long though before disaster struck. In November 1916 after being released from duty and then requisitioned she made her way towards Kea ( an island in Greece ). Some 2 miles away from the island at 8.15 AM on November 21st, an explosion occurred. The damage was extensive and six watertight cabinets flooded. The vessel remained afloat for a while, before listing and letting in water into portholes on the starboard side. In a hurry to get the Britannic as far away as possible from Kea Captain Charles Bartlett ordered full speed, which ended up only making the ship sink faster, but then retaliated by shutting the engines off entirely. And finally after a surprisingly low time of 55 minutes ( whereas the Titanic took 2 hours and 40 minutes) she sank at approximately 9.07 AM. 30 people sadly lost their lives but 1,030 people were saved thanks to the heroic acts of the RMS Scrooge and the RMS Heroic.
Wow what a yap session, anyway I couldn't watch the video in peace before I had my say, hope you enjoyed reading about the wonderful RMS Britannic.

Hello everyone! I am currently trying to sublease my room at Lapis since I’m trying to move to another area. Since I am trying to do it as soon as possible I am willing to cover the first month of rent + transfer fees or you can use the rent money as a monthly discount (it would depend on when you take over how much the discount is).
Heres some info about the unit:
Rent: 1075 (unit is sold out now) Utilities: I believe the only ones not covered are electricity and water Parking fee: $100/month (from what I hear, that rate went up to $125 after I signed) WasheDryer in unit and a nicely sized kitchen.
Here is the link to the floor plan: https://www.livelapis.com/wp-content/uploads/D2-Maya.pdf
Please message me if interested 🩵🩵

So for context I (fYA) like to dabble in design and architecture. I recently built a water park in a nearby city (Newcrest) called Splash Cove. It’s pirate/ocean themed, with a pirate ship jungle gym and toddler slides into wading water, a pool with an orca fountain, bbq areas, hot springs, islands made of raised terrain and decorated with palm and coconut trees, monkey bars and swings, and a slip n slide. And of course, several splash pads.
I decided to visit the park and invite everyone I know to come test it out. Everything was going great until unfortunately it started to snow. Atlas Michelson (mC) froze to death and then sadly a bunch of other people died witnessing his death in their swimwear, including his parents. Then his little sister Orion (ft) was taken away by CPS because she was starving.
I don’t think I did anything wrong because I needed to make sure the children and toddlers could slide into the water, but if it wasn’t winter with blizzards forecast then maybe all those people wouldn’t be really out of place looking tombstones.
So…. AITA?
And more importantly, should I change the theme of the water park to “haunted house” because of all the ghosts?

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TOP FLOOR, right set of stairs as you enter.
This is a Saturday alternative to our usual Wednesday meets and located in north London rather than central. we have space for about 22 people.
Preface We're a casual boardgame meetup group that has been running in various venues over London for over 3 years, we meet up every Wednesday (and now Saturdays) and have games to suit every kind of player, from large casual party games to competitive 4 player strategy games. Saturday's tend to pull about 15-25 attendees.
Venue 3 minute walk from Farringdon Station 5 minute walk from Barbican station 12 minute walk from Chancery Lane
The tables are booked from 4:00pm, we have the top floor (Juniper Room), text Adam if you're shy and we'll sort you out!
Summary Where: 94 Cowcross street EC1M 6BH
When: Saturday June 1st from 16:00 to 22:00 (show up whenever)
What: Play board games, have a chat and eat/drink in a nice bar.
Contacts Adam 07895 doubleZero7 doublezero1
Text if you get lost. No RSVP is required, you can just show up on the day if you want, there's a WhatsApp group if you'd like to be invited (please text, it's easier to invite that way)
FAQ Do I need to know any games? No, we'll be more than happy to teach some.
Should I bring any game with me? Not mandatory, but if you have some games you want to play then bring them! We will supply some.
What games do you have? We have 7 Wonders, Alias, Anomia, Articulate, Azul, Bang!, Brass, Carcassonne, Cartography, Castles of Burgundy, Catan, Century Spice Road, City of Spies, Cockroach Poker, Codenames + variants, Coup, Decrypto, Dixit!, Dog Park, Eclipse, Flamme Rouge, Forbidden Island, Hero Realms, High Society, Jaipur, Jungle Speed, Just One, Keyflower, Letter Jam, London, Lords of Waterdeep + Skullport/Undermountain, Lost Cities Roll&Write, Love Letter, Magic Maze, Modern Art, Mystic Vale, Pandemic, Photosynthesis, Ricochet Robots, Salem, Shifting Stones, Skull King, Splendor, Teotihuacan, Terraforming Mars Ares Expedition, Terraforming Mars + expansions, Ticket to Ride Europe/Germany, Trapwords, Village Green, Viticulture, Wingspan + European expansion, and many more, if you're interested in anything post or message.
Will there be drinking involved? There's no pressure to drink. (Although the venue likes us more when we spend money)

What's up guys
I've traveled all over the US and have lived in quite a few cities, including Denver, Miami, and several mid-sized cities throughout Louisiana and East Tennessee.
I was always amazed by cities growing up. I love the architecture, the sense of community, the food, the energy, the feeling of being part of something bigger than myself.
But the more time I spend in cities, the more I feel like our cities and the communities they're home to are crumbling.
Corporate control and corrupt politicians have made life in the city highly unaffordable. Car-centric design has littered our communities with asphalt, unwalkable streets, and parking lots. New architecture - office buildings and residential alike - has been designed to maximize profits rather than for the enjoyment and use of the people.
It's upsetting to me that we've lost so much of what made American cities and life in the West so great in the past.
So, imagine if we had a chance to reinvent our cities and society as a whole. No politics, no BS, just a fresh start, with all of the technology we have today. What changes could we make to create a better life for ourselves and our next generations? Here's some of my ideas. I hope you enjoy.
Architecture, Construction, and Urban Design:

• Plan the City Ahead of Time as a Digital Model

Let's build a digital model of our next-gen city, based around a state-of-the-art public transportation system, with a clear architectural style. Future residents can propose design changes online.

• Create the Most Livable and Community-Oriented Neighborhoods We Can Imagine

Within our neighborhoods, we'll have walking and bike paths, parks, trees for shade, lighting at night, local businesses and eateries on the ground level, filtered water stations and clean, nice restrooms set throughout. We'll rid our public spaces of advertisements, parking lots, and loud cars and replace it with art, eateries, local business, and effective public transportation.

• Create Better Homes, Apartments, and Complexes

We'll have local business on the ground level of our buildings, a set minimum of restaurant spots built in each neighborhood. Condos and apartments will be equipped with water filtration systems, better air filtration systems, humidity control, zone-specific HVAC control, better sound proofing, and temp-control mattresses in bedroom to improve sleep. The complexes will be designed harmoniously with their surrounding environment in mind - No more balconies overlooking a 4-lane highway. Complexes will have community-spaces (pool deck, garden, gym, community balconies), and larger complexes will have redundant spaces, each assigned to different floors / sections of the complex, so that residents see the same people more and are able to foster community more easily. (It's hard in big complexes - there's so many people)

• Sustainability, Construction, and Decentralization

We could manufacture many of our buildings in a modular fashion outside of the city, for final assembly within the city to minimize construction noise and time. Our current cities are constantly under construction, it's a drag. Construction tools could be redesigned to make less noise, and we can allocate more resources / labor to each project to complete faster. We'll utilize sustainable building materials like CLT where feasible. We can even design architecture to be disassembled and recycled at the end of its life. Disassembly, material sorting, and recycling will be much easier to accomplish down the line with AI. One of our best defenses against tyranny and outside forces is decentralization - Equipping each neighborhood with solar, and creating redundant water systems, online communication systems, etc will create a strong, resilient city.
A New Education System

• One Completely Free Education System

Let's quit putting children in $100s of thousands in debt over education and create one, singular education system that equips both children and returning adults with all of the tools they need to succeed in society. We'll have a core curriculum and then a multitude of different areas that students can pursue based on their passion and current job market conditions. We'll utilize video teaching (like people are doing on YouTube now) and AI simulations to drastically increase retention and course quality. Again we'll teach the basics, like math, scientific method, geography, language and rhetoric, but we'll also teach essentials like how to cook, how to exercise and take care of your body, how to build relationships, how to open a business, how to operate our city's political system, the basics of modern society - basic housing construction, water systems, electricity, our public transportation network. And then once kids start to branch out into their niche, we'll offer courses on specific careers, like construction, urban design, culinary arts, music, engineering, etc. Real, practical, skills all for free in one system.

• Real-Time Job Market Analytics, and Enhanced Student Report Card

We'll tap employers / local businesses into our education system for the sole purpose of making job-market data available to students in real time. Businesses and employers will post their labor needs into the system, and students / parents can make educational path decisions based on real-time data. As students progress and expand their knowledge, their progress will be automatically compiled into an advanced and details student 'report card' which details their expertise, interests, and knowledge rather than pinning them up against other classmates in a GPA system. This will allow employers and parents a much better understanding into student's strengths, passions, and progress.
A (Much) Better Political System
There's a long list of issues with our current political system - only two parties, corporate control, federal overreach, money laundering, massive corruption and human rights violations around the globe. Let's scrap it entirely and create a reddit-like 'community forum' for our city where once every 2-4 years during a limited working-hours political holiday, we come together to discuss policy, issues within our community, new developments and plans, and how we would like to allot our tax money. We'll have a highly secure voting system and make decisions for our community within our community. We can still elect officials, as well as management and development companies for projects and managed systems. These contractors and companies can bid for the communities' business within the forum and we can vote there. Something else we could do is scrap IPO's and instead buy out systems that arise within our community like uber or airbnb and turn them into community assets the same as we've done with education, public transportation, etc. We'll elect / re-elect a management team and these services will become dirt cheap for everyone, instead of being bought out by investors and turned to shit to maximize profits.
Hope y'all enjoyed. Feel free to pick this apart, lol, or add your own ideas! I have a whole journal full of this stuff so if you guys liked it, I'll post some more soon.

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No smoking or pets allowed.

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The following two brain scans were provided by the Neuro-Warfare branch of the Halcyon Security Division (HSD) for the purpose of analyzing the thoughts, behaviors, and information of notorious gangsters Vincent 'Troy' Cohen and Bruno (Deadname: Koraak Tel-Char). At the point of the recording of this archival shared, Bruno has since received his rebirth therapy, and Vincent is currently serving a long-term rehabilitative and reeducative sentence in the Erebus Supermax Prison on Io.
Warning: the contents of this archival shared may be especially disturbing to some audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
Warning: the contents of this archival shard are for the sole purpose of analyzing the thought patterns and memories of certain degenerate criminals in an effort to ascertain vital information that can be used to eliminate their organizations. Only staff with clearance level Omega may view this archival shared, and the viewership of this archival shared by anyone of inadequate clearance level will lead to twenty years in prison and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Vincent 'Troy' Cohen, November 4th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
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"Do you have visuals of the target, Troy?"
I knelt down in the alleyway, the bodies of me and my partners shrouded in long, waterproof, ashen-gray overcoats the shade of dirty street scum that we wore to ward off the constant heavy rainfall the color of osmium. Our faces were covered in a mix of scrapped respirators, visors, or full metal face masks carved with intricate designs to hide our identities. On our waists were our badges of honor: leather belts studded with interlocked rivets made from blackened titanium, each buckle forged of silver and shaped into the head of our gang's symbol, the black mamba. We hid amongst the shadows of the dark midday of Halcyon City, the heavy, oppressive rains blanketing the roads paved obsidian-black with asphalt and weathered concrete walkways. The street lamps were always on, like beacons of false hope in a storm of melancholy.
The city was dark and dreary as always, the planet of Proxima Centauri B, renamed Dawn's Lamentation over a century ago, orbited the red dwarf star of Proxima Centauri, and the atmosphere was thick with natural smog and ever-storming rain clouds. That didn't dissuade people from living here: there was plenty of money to be had for shrewd industrialists and hardworking pioneers, even in the urban sprawl. But that life also came with risks, especially for those on the bottom of the totem pole.
I was a ganger, and we were criminals; full stop. I won't assault you with some spiel about how we're the good guys fighting oppression because, at the end of the day, we could be just as bad, if not worse, than Halcyon's Security Division, or the HSD for short. We were traffickers, killers, extortionists, and money launderers. We dealt with everything from stolen tech and military-grade hardware to hard drugs and sentients.
Yes, sentients. We trafficked sentients, but not in the way you might think. They weren't prisoners, in fact, we were their saviors if they had the cash. We had developed a reputation for fighting the power, but it was still business: sure, freeing captives from the clutches of the Protectorate. The disruption of its many oppressive organizations held a certain satisfaction in my heart for sure, but we didn't help those who couldn't pay unless someone else paid on their behalf. It was about making sure me and my gang, my family, could live a decent life for another day.
It helped that most of us joined after leaving the state yard for partaking in acts of 'degeneracy' and 'anti-xenopet illegalities' as if those terms meant anything anymore other than that we were a threat to the local status quo. It was hard to pick up a job as a former inmate when even in something as harsh and backbreaking as a job in the iridium mines near the poles when the employment office had you blacklisted as a degenerate, which lead to the formation of many of the gangs: we needed to make a living somehow, and when all social programs were cut off from you unless you submitted for 're-education' and the only way to put food on the table was subverting, breaking, or even downright fighting the law, you did what you had to do or you died on the streets a scorned beggar.
It wasn't like the HSD made it easy for us on even a good day: the local HSD units were armed to the teeth with advanced, military-grade hardware that you'd often see on the front lines of the Second Authority War: armored assault transports, a myriad of advanced war droids, all sorts of chemical countermeasures that made tear gas seem like putting the garden hose on mist mode, and of course advanced firearms. Add that to the fact that they were authorized to use deadly force when they deemed it necessary and you had a ruthless, heartless, and nearly unstoppable enemy. But we could make that work: we weren't trying to stop them, just to withstand them.
"Yeah, I got eyes on the prize, Koraak; seven armored transports, two for droids, five for prisoners."
Today wasn't a day for a normal job: we were getting bolder, cockier, more ambitious. Our numbers had swelled for the last few years after the raid at Barnard's Star and the fall of the Blood Dragon Mafia. Their leader, Saito Yasuhide, had committed seppuku as their manor burned, and his twin sons had gone down fighting rather than allowing themselves to be captured simply to face a firing squad. In the aftermath, many of the family's associates had fled to the surrounding systems, and with the sheer size and scope of the criminal underworld found here, it was no wonder that many people who had developed skills of the less legal variety had decided to form ranks with the gangs, and with them they brought guns, tech, knowledge, contacts, and even something that we thought wasn't possible beforehand: a semblance of peace between the gangs, or at least the closest thing to peace that gangs could cultivate effectively. With the fall of the Blood Dragons, we saw the writing on the wall, and the writing couldn't have been clearer: work together or die together.
"Sounds like a massacre, Troy: are you sure we can handle seven?"
"We ain't got no choice, Cinder: this job's double the usual rate, and that's not including the weapons and gear we could scrounge if this goes well," I hissed, my eyes scanning for any resistance. There were at least four guards for each van, not to mention at least eight droids in total, meaning that we were already outnumbered, but we had the element of surprise: we could make it work. "So put your balls in your purse and get ready to spill some blood."
Koraak snorted at our antics, which sounded like someone pulling the ripcord on a lawnmower. He was a veteran Russu Corsair, and while his past of slaving, raiding, and killing was unsavory, so were the lives we'd lived, so who were we to judge? All we cared about was that he was a brutal and capable fighter and a loyal brother in arms. It turned out that being a ganger wasn't much different from being a Corsair: you lived and died by a code of honor, you fought to the death for your brothers, and you lived to die for the sake of your gang and your family, simple as that. In a strange, ironic way, it was an incredibly honest way of life: we were under no illusions as to what we were, what we did, and why we did it, and we'd long since accepted it. The Russu related to us in that aspect, in many ways I could respect, which is why I hated what the Protectorate was doing, and why I couldn't grasp how most of humanity could just collectively lose their marbles so long ago. What had happened for us to deem all other life below us in such a demeaning and infantilizing way?
The Russu were a race of tall, muscle-bound Saurians with avian features, and Koraak was no exception: reaching almost seven feet in height and weighing over four hundred and fifty pounds, he could be an absolute menace if he so desired. His skin was covered in stubby, knobby scales and dense plumage, with elegant feathers adorning the ridges along his back as well as his forearms, elbows, knees, and the crests on his head. He almost looked like how paleontologists described velociraptors, with razor-sharp talons, feathers shaded in vibrant greens, reds, and purples, and a maw full of sharp teeth, but at the tip of his snout was a sharp, beak-like growth meant for ripping flesh off the bone.
The Russu were strange as hell, but they also looked almost cute in the same way a fully grown alligator was cute: they were obviously dangerous, but humans would always have this innate desire to anthropomorphize them and to pet them for some inexplicable reason, although common sense usually prevented that, at least amongst the very few of us left that were sane.
"Shut up, Troy! All I'm saying is that that'll be rough, and you know it," hissed Cinder. Cinder was a tall black man whose coffee-colored skin was covered in tattoos. He wore an ebony mechanic's jumpsuit with metal inserts underneath his grimy overcoat covering his body and a faded black respirator on his face. His eyes were a startling blue that seemed sorely out of place, and his hair was braided into thick cornrows along his scalp. He wore a pair of heavy black combat boots and palmed his compact shotgun in his hands, the square barrel less than seven inches. Like a lot of the weapons the Black Mambas carried on their persons and dealt in, they fired caseless ammunition; in Cinder's case it was 16x40mm caseless shotshells filled with depleted uranium micro-flechetes no thicker than a toothpick. Cinder nervously fiddled with the detachable tube magazine underneath the barrel, his hands shaking. Despite the shit I have him, I didn't blame him for being anxious: I was anxious too, even if I refused to show it. The biting cold of unease and pessimism was in my stomach, and I ran all the way that this job could go wrong in my head over and over.
"Just hold yourself together, this ain't anything we haven't done before, there's just more of it," I reassured Cinder, "besides, we're not alone; we have reinforcements across the street. We'll make it out of this alive."
Cinder nodded almost absentmindedly, his eyes downcast and his breathing shallow. I turned from him and back to Koraak, who was making sure he had everything on his person; he had a synthetic leather bandoleer across his chest that contained the heavy eight guage depleted uranium slugs he kept loading and unloading into his much larger, longer, and more traditional shotgun he nicknamed ‘carnage’ and several leather straps that held his Tu'shan daggers: traditional Russu pyramidal blades forged from a silvery alloy with all three edges serrated and the tip barbed to leave behind horrible, gaping wounds that gushed blood. They were wickedly sharp and absolutely straight like a stiletto, and the hilts and pommels were beautifully decorated. He wore no clothes underneath his overcoat to cover the countless scars and blemishes he's earned in combat across his chest and abdomen, and instead of a normal respirator or visor, he simply wore a hood over his head and some traditional Russu facial armor to protect his mouth, eyes, and cheeks.
"You ready to fight, Koraak? The caravan will pick up and leave soon."
Koraak was silent for a moment before nodding, a human gesture he had picked up after serving as a soldier with the Black Mambas for years. "I'm always ready to fight," he said before lifting up his shotgun and aiming down the sights at the reinforced front wheels of the first armored car in the caravan. He exhaled and fired, the slug ripping through both front tires and causing them to deflate and fall apart. The echo of the shot rang through the alleyway and the street, causing pedestrians to panic and flee the scene as heavily armored guards poured out of the side doors of the armored cars and unholstered their carbines.
"Go, now!" I shouted, and both me and Cinder rushed out into the fray, our guns raised. Koraak was right behind the two of us, providing covering fire with his shotgun. Several guards fell quickly, Koraak's precise fire and the sheer force of the depleted uranium slugs putting them down for good as their heads were vaporized or their chest cavities were turned to mush. He emptied the tube with one final shot that painted the grey matter of a security guard on the door of one of the armored cars, then racked the shotgun and expertly loaded it in threes, his hands deft and agile as he reached for more slugs faster than any human.
With the cacophony of our initial assault, more Black Mambas poured out from the alleyways and the subways, armed to the teeth with all manner of weapons; shotguns, submachine guns, pistols, machetes, baseball bats, and all manner of homemade explosives. Molotovs and more potent concoctions shattered against the asphalt, herding in the caravan guards with their volatile contents as they were quickly gunned down. The assault was working, and we were winning.
Then I heard the robotic whine of a combat droid activating, and my heart sank. One of the armored cars in the back activated the four combat droids it held, the robotic assault units detaching from their charging ports on the sides of the large van and began to form up, each armed with a terrifying array of deadly weapons meant to quash any and all resistance. They were blocky, soulless, utilitarian things that stood at eight feet tall, with flat feet meant for stomping and blades, grasping claws designed to lacerate flesh and shatter bone. On each shoulder was a weapon: on the left was a multi-barrel rotary grenade launcher loaded with 15mm concussion grenades, and on the right was a burst-fire splinter cannon. They were all painted a dull grayish-green, the color of Halcyon's Security Division, although some had a few decorations on them: the one closest to me had a bit of graffiti on the side that said Mr. Hugs in Comic Sans, which I couldn't decide whether that made it more or less terrifying. They split up without hesitation and began to scan the chaotic battlefield, their single, red, beady lenses the security forces had the gall to call eyes focusing on specific targets to eliminate.
An entire group of Black Mambas was torn to pieces by a cloud of flechettes as one of the droids fired a withering three-round burst of shotshells from the four gauge splinter cannon mounted on its shoulder. Another picked up a Black Mamba in its hand and crushed her skull effortlessly before tossing her limp body to the side, its single, red, remorseless robotic eye tracking a new target. Most bullets that struck their thick armored chassis simply bounced off, and those that could pierce the armor didn't seem to phase the droids whatsoever, merely notifying them of a new potential target.
"Damnit," I shouted as I gunned down another guard only for two more to take his place. "Cinder! We gotta pop open the cars and scram! Get the maglock cutters!"
Cinder rushed and slid over through a dirty puddle, pulling out a maglock cutter from the inside of his coat and slipping it onto the back door of the first van. It immediately went to work, drilling through the maglock with a high-powered plasma torch nozzle, and within ten seconds we heard the telltale clunk of the maglock separating. I yanked the door open and ordered I side, ready to escort the prisoners out… only for my face to contort in shock and horror.
The back was empty. There was not a single soul inside of the back brig of the armored car.
"What the fuck…" Cinder gasped, his eyes wide with shock. "What the actual fuck… what the fuck is this, Troy?"
"I… I don't…" I stuttered the sounds of battle and carnage drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in my ears. All five cars were supposed to be filled with recently captured Russu from the front lines ready to be housed in the local Xenopet-Megaplex for processing and conditioning. The fact that this one was empty…
Suddenly, it all hit me at once with the force of a freight train, but it was too late. "We were set up, Cinder; our fucking client either squealed or was crooked to begin with…"
"Fucking bitch!" Cinder shouted as he spun around in an enraged arch, anger growing in his eyes. He aimed his shotgun at an approaching security guard and reduced his upper body to a fine red mist with a cacophony of shotgun blasts. "We gotta get everyone who's left out of here! Do you know what this means? The Jurors will be here soon, and then we're all going down! We gotta go, fuck the job!"
I grit my teeth. Not the Jurors, anything but the Jurors.
"Fine, gather everyone who's left and we'll slip through the sewers, the droids are too bulky to follow us there…"
As I spoke, my eyes wandered to the seventh and final armored car, the second of the droid cars, and my blood froze. Not only were all four ports empty, but they were also smaller and more shallow than the ports for the combat droids. That could only mean one thing.
"Oh fuck! Cinder, we gotta get our Russu members out of here! They've got arachnid droids!"
Arachnid droids were the stuff of nightmares. Resembling blocky, robotic arachnids the size of a manhole cover, they were specifically designed to take down sentient aliens, specifically the Russu, using sickeningly non-lethal means. They were equipped with full-body adaptive cloaking to blend in with their environments, paralytic agents that they could inject into their victims, built-in taser barbs, psychedelic gas ports for crowd-control, and a narrow-coned cacophony canon that disabled the Russu using incredibly high-pitched sounds that only they could hear, forcing them onto their knees and clutching the backs of their heads where their auditory organs were stored in agony. But worst of all was their stygian spinnerets: special ports near the end of their robotic abdomens that excreted a viscous, latex-like substance made up of millions of nano-bots. This substance could be used to render Russu blind, deaf, and mute by having it forced onto their faces, the black substance growing and enveloping their heads and working its way into every orifice. It was completely permeable to the standard atmosphere, but any Russu who had been 'webbed' was completely helpless and essentially captured, and the 'webbing' was both nearly indestructible and nigh impossible to remove without a triple-encrypted override key that was found in every arachnid droid's code, which was corrupted when the droid was destroyed or hacked into. Once you were 'webbed', you were essentially captured and the standard protocol was to leave you to the wolves since the nano-bots could be tracked, endangering the entire gang.
I turned just as I heard the deafening sound of Koraak discharging his shotgun, and I saw him squaring off against one of the assault droids. The droid has obviously been programmed to not use lethal force against Russu if possible, as instead of simply killing Koraak with it's shoulder-mounted splinter cannon, it approached with its claws extended, blades retracted. Koraak continued to back away and fire, pumping the droid full of depleted uranium slugs, its armor crumbling inward as the slugs pierced its chassis and damaged its internal cyberstructure. Eventually, Koraak ran out of slugs and instinctively reached to his bandoleer only to find that he had no more shells left at all, and he drew one of his knives and his sidearm, a simple high-caliber handgun. He tried to take down the droid with his handgun, but the bullets didn't even seem to affect the droid upon penetration, it's claws still extended as it attempted to apprehend Koraak.
In the corner of my vision, as I watched Koraak battle with the droid, I noticed a faint shimmer in the air on one of the black streetlight poles that was right behind him. I focused on it and blinked, believing my eyes had deceived me for a moment before realizing that it was actually a cloaked arachnid droid stalking Korvaak, ready to pounce and incapacitate him.
Before I could shout, it leaped from the pole and landed on Korvaak, causing him to shout in surprise while it began to coagulate its horrifying stygian webbing to disable Korvaak. Korvaak tried to wrestle it off of him, but the droid was agile and fast, clinging onto Korvaak and skittering around across his upper body as he attempted to grab it, forcibly wrapping the sticky black liquid across his face as he gagged like a spider wrapping up a fly. I rushed towards him to try and help, but I felt pain explode in my ribs as I was struck with the arm of the closest combat droid and launched into the chassis of a parked car, the metal denting from the sheer force of impact. I groaned in pain as I saw stars and my head spun, and just then I felt a blinding light be cast over me.
“Drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head, or you will be pacified with deadly force!” Shouted a loud, artificially deepened voice from above. “I repeat, drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head! Neither hostility nor hesitation will be tolerated!”
It was the Jurors, I could feel the air being pushed around from the thrusters on their drop ships, and I could hear screams and shouts as my fellow Black Mambas were quickly gunned down. I couldn’t see well since I was seeing double, but I could hear the slaughter as my eyes dimmed and I began to lose consciousness, my regrets crawling up my throat like vomit.
I’m sorry was all I could think as everything finally went dark, and the sounds of chaos, destruction, and combat faded away.
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Memory halted due to loss of consciousness. Booting next available memory in shard…
Booting up memory scan: Koraak Tel-Char Bruno, November 5th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
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“Good morning, sleepyhead; it’s time for breakfast.”
My eyes shot open. I was not in the street anymore, nor was I home in my bed with my mate. I knew instantly that something was horribly wrong. I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t gain the leverage to do so: my ankles had been shackled together with magnetic cuffs and my arms were forced together in front of me.
I was wearing some kind of thick shirt. It was warm, fluffy, and comfortable on the inside, but it still made me incredibly uncomfortable that my arms didn’t have a free range of motion. I looked down to see that I was wearing some human garment I had heard about before, a straightjacket maybe?
The entire room was padded: the walls, the floor, even the ceiling. There was no bed or furniture; the floor was soft enough to serve as a bed in itself. There was nothing else except for the soft reddish-orange lights on the ceiling that somehow made me sleepy. I blinked slowly for a moment, my body screaming at me to just lay back down and lose consciousness, but I couldn’t do that: I needed to figure out where I was and how to escape.
Then I noticed who was speaking to me: it was a short human female, with crow's feet around her blue eyes, blonde hair braided down her back, and freckles all over her face. She had a soft smile on her lips, and her forehead was slightly crinkled. She wore a full-body white lab suit with a white overcoat and a pair of glasses for snugly on her face.
"There we go, now I can see those pretty eyes, such a beautiful shade of teal," she cooed softly, "You're such a handsome boy, even with all those scars: I'm sure you'll be adopted very quickly once we get you fixed up."
Fear gripped my heart as I began to piece all the evidence together. I had been captured; I was no longer on Halcyon, and instead, I was in one of the horrific space-born facilities I had heard so much about from the inside agents. I started to hyperventilate and squawk like a newborn hatchling, my eyes dilating in panic. This couldn't be happening! This has to be a nightmare!
The human woman merely wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into an embrace, cradling my head under her chin and speaking softly. I couldn't bite at her or claw at her: I was muzzled and wearing a straight jacket, so I had no choice but to allow her to coddle me.
"It's okay, sweetheart: I understand you're scared, but Julie's here to make all the pain and bad thoughts go away," she said as if she was comforting a child, which made anger blossom in my chest indignantly. "I'll be your caretaker for the next few months, and I'm going to make sure you're healthy, happy, and most importantly safe while you're under our care. I'm sorry to say that includes your restraints and restrictive clothing, but we have to make sure you aren't a threat to yourself or others before we can determine if it's a good idea to remove you from suicide watch."
I growled under my muzzle. Suicide watch? They must have had a lot of instances of Russu taking their own lives after being captured, something I wished I had been able to do before that damnable droid launched itself onto me and…
I shuddered at the thought of the black, viscous substance forcing itself into my nostrils and down my throat and windpipe, gagging me and rendering me completely helpless. It was so cold, so harsh, like slime, and when I had tried to tear it off of my face it merely attached itself to my claws and bound my talons together. I remember squirming on the ground as it enveloped me, unable to see, hear, or speak, and then everything went dark in an instant. It was the most horrible thing I had ever experienced, which was saying something.
"You alright, sweetheart? Oh, I know, you're probably hungry! Here, try some of this." She held up a piece of what looked like raw bacon and wiggled it in front of me before reaching out to remove my muzzle. In an instant, I attempted to snap at her only for pain to blossom in my forehead and my eyes to roll up in my head as I convulsed. It was like something was attempting to drill through my skull from the inside, and every breath felt empty and labored.
"Now, that didn't feel very nice, did it? This is why we have countermeasures in place because we can't trust you yet, sweetheart! Don't worry, we'll work on breaking you of all those bad behaviors and habits while you're here; after all, a well-trained pet is a happy pet!" She began to stroke the crests on my head as I slowly recovered, and she snugly fit the muzzle back onto my snout. "But I won't hold it against you this time, sweetheart; you're just scared and confused, but I'll make all the pain go away."
I struggled in the straight jacket, trying my best to break out of it, but it was no use. Eventually, I became exhausted and despondent, allowing my new caretaker to have her way with me as she gently ran her fingers through my feathers and along my ridges, quietly speaking to me in a hopeless attempt to cheer me up. She seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being, which concerned me even further: who could be this naturally twisted while attempting to be as benevolent and kindhearted as possible?
I felt the pain and terror build up in my chest, the anxiety from what horrific activities I imagined they had planned for me here. I couldn't take the infantilization, the lack of any autonomy, the dehumanization, and what I feared the most was if the rumors of 'rebirth' were true: would they take my personhood from me?
Suddenly, I felt her whisper to me. "Don't worry sweetheart, I know you're so scared and confused, but I promise you everything will be okay: it's going to be your birthday soon, and then everything will get better." She ran her fingers through the feathers along my crest lovingly. "It will be such a wonderful day, and then we'll choose for you the most wonderful family, and you'll spend the rest of your life happy in your forever home! Doesn't all of that sound wonderful?"
I wanted to die. I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to lose myself, not like this, not to these monsters!
"It'll be your birthday soon," she said wistfully as if she was remembering similar events to this in the past like I wasn't the first she'd done this too, "and you'll never be sad again."
I realized that I wasn't the first the stay in this particular cell, and I knew for certain that I wouldn't be the last: I'd end up like my brother, a broken, erased mess of a pathetic creature, reduced to nothing more than a pet for these humans to amuse themselves with.
"We took the liberty of picking out a nice name for you, sweetheart! Now, let me just slip this little programming chip into the port slot on your occipital bone, and... there we go! It will also help you calm down a bit and adjust."
I felt the chip begin to invade my mind, suppressing my thoughts. What made me me was slowly being ripped out of my mind. I couldn't remember my name my name is Bruno, and I needed to get out! I can't let them do this to me! Somebody help me! I was a good boy.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I tried to scream, but my voice wouldn't work: I had trouble forming any words at all, the confusion clouding my mind like wet, slimy eels curling around my brain and sinking their teeth into its folds like needles. I couldn’t scream any longer, because I had nothing left: the chip was slowly beginning to take everything from me, robbing me of my identity and branding a new one into my psyche with a white-hot iron. Julie simply held me close, attempting to reassure me as I awaited the inevitable demise of my personhood. Soon I would be just like my brother: erased. My mind would be shaped into the mind of a loyal plaything, like a Dog.
##Relax. Allow caretaker [Julie] to comfort you. You will let go of your burden.##
Soon, everything was a blur. I quickly found myself resting my head in her lap as she whispered to me and fed me, my eyes bleary and my head fuzzy. I couldn't remember my name anymore My name was Bruno, and I needed to break free from this trance relax, and allow her to help me; good boys didn't resist help.
##Good Boy. Do not think. You are a good boy.##
You can't... I...
##Good boy.##
I wouldn't… good boys don't… I…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
Someone help me, please! I don't want to be erased!
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The following script is from episode #343 of Halcyon After Dark, a popular late-night and current events talk show hosted by Melinda Carter. This specific episode was sponsored in part by the Halcyon Security Division, with Director Lochlin O'Brien joining as a guest star to talk about the changing crime statistics in Halcyon City and the HSD's recent successes in busting organized crime as well as their plans for addressing the growing criminal underworld.
MC: Good evening Halcyon! I'm your host, Melinda Carter, and you're watching Halcyon's most popular late-night talk show, Halcyon After Dark!
The crowd claps and cheers as Melinda walks on stage and sits behind her desk, her glittering red dress waving as she does so from the special effects.
MC: Tonight we have a very special guest here to tell us about the state of crime in the city and his plans on resolving it: please put your hands together for the HSD's very own Director, Lochlin O'Brien!
The crowd cheers some more as HSD Director Lochlan O'Brien, a tall, muscular, caucasian male in his early forties with red hair and a well-trimmed beard steps into the room, waving at the crowd with a bright smile. He sits in the armchair angled next to Melinda's desk and gives her his full attention.
MC: It's so good to have you on the show, Director! Tell me, how are you doing on this fine evening?
LO: I'm doing excellent, Melinda: every day I wake up feeling fulfilled knowing I'm serving Halcyon to the best of my abilities and then some."
MC: That's the spirit, Director! Now, I know this question is just on everyone's lips, so I have to ask: how successful was the recent gang bust? I heard HSD forces took out dozens of gang members and liberated at least a dozen Russu Hounds from their abusive clutches, but I know that everyone in the audience and at home wants to know the numbers.
LO: I'd be glad to tell you, but I do have to preface this by saying that we still lost a lot of good officers that day, and while we did strike a crippling blow to one of Halcyon's biggest gangs, it doesn't change the fact that each death is a tragedy, and we're taking steps to prevent them in the future. That being said, those valiant officers did not sacrifice themselves in vain: we had over a dozen confirmed kills and several arrests, including the rescue of several corrupted Russu hounds.
MC: That's excellent, Director: proof that even when the number of degenerates and scum grow by the day, the HSD will always be here to keep the citizens of Halcyon safe.
LO: Absolutely, Melinda, and we're always working tirelessly to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of our units, as well as racing to stay several steps ahead of the many gangs of Halcyon at all times. My newest goal as Director is to vastly increase the funding given to our Robotics Department and our Neuro-Warfare Department to potentially reduce the number of casualties we may experience in the future, as well as to quickly and effectively detain, and if necessary, eliminate criminals. Within the next decade, I want to double the number of automated units each Security Platoon is assigned: droids are the future of public safety as well as countless other industries, and it would be foolish to be left behind.
MC: That is quite a lofty goal, Director: what about the displaced jobs from the increased automation? What will the union say?
LO: And to that, I say: what misplaced jobs? We aren't replacing our honored and beloved service members with droids, Melinda, we are simply supplementing our units with more droids to ensure that future gang assaults end with fewer HSD casualties and more gang members in prison or eliminated, simple as that.
MC: That makes much more sense, Director, thanks for clarifying. Now, I have one more question that I'm sure much of Halcyon wants to know the answer to before we take a short break: what plans do you and your fellow directors have to make long-term progress in reducing crime beyond just increasing funding? Have you proposed any plans to strike at the source of where crime and degeneracy flourish?
OL: That's an excellent question, and one I am proud to answer: my constituents and I have been working tirelessly on a two-step plan to greatly reduce crime levels in Halcyon. Step one would be to prevent people from becoming criminals and degenerates at all in the first place: a lot of young men and women, but especially young men, have lost either one or both parents or even a sibling, aunt or uncle, or even a close friend by the brutality of the Second Authority War, and while the service of their lost loved ones will always be recognized and honored, many of these young men and women are left bitter, angry and lost without the guidance these people give them in their lives. Oftentimes they seek to fill that void with others who claim to relate to them: career criminals. These criminals will fill their heads with lies and false narratives to make them feel like they're fighting back against the 'evil protectorate government' that took their loved ones from them by sending them off to war when in reality it was the rogue Xenopets of the Triarchy that took them away by resisting their just and inevitable unburdening.
In response, I have proposed a slew of special programs that will make sure local law enforcement and HSD officers are present and contributing to their local community, and we'll be providing easy and light job openings for youngsters and teens looking to make a career for themselves in the force when they grow up. We want to let these lost souls know that there are people who care about them, people who understand them and that you shouldn't turn to degeneracy to feel fulfilled. We want to help the youth of our great society soar to new heights!
MC: That sounds like a wonderful beginning to your plan, Director, but what about the second step?
LO: Well, the second step is to prevent criminals and degenerates from becoming repeat criminals. Sure, they've made their mistakes, some worse than others, but they're only human like the rest of us. Some of them have been through hell: some are traumatized veterans who don't know how to adapt to normal life, others were recruited when they were young and don't know that there's a better way to live, and even more are mentally ill. We're alone in this galaxy, and we can't leave so many people behind. That's why we've come up with an excellent solution: we've set up isolated communities on distant moons and frontier planets where these criminals can be reeducated, rehabilitated, and allowed to repay their debt to society. When they're deemed 'reformed' and have graduated from our program, they'll be granted a hefty stipend and their criminal record will be deemed irrelevant, allowing them to reintegrate and become functioning members of our proud society.
MC: all of these sound like incredible steps forward in the fight to better our society and make real progress, Director. Sadly, we do have to step away for a moment, but you best believe I'll be back, Halcyon, and we'll be asking the Director here some burning questions about allegations over the quality of life Erubus Supermax! Now, a word from our sponsors!
Halcyon Xenopet-Megaplex! Everything your xenopet could ever need in one place! Adoption is now free-
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Good, you’re still alive! The rest of this shard appears to be corrupted, which means this particular trail seems to have run cold here, but do not despair; you need to keep searching. Find out what happened. Find the truth.I cannot guide you any longer: they've already found me, and if I remain in contact with you they'll find you as well. Take the archival database, and see what you can piece together. Maybe if we discover what truly happened we can put an end to this madness once and for all. I'm counting on you. Don't cry for me, I don't fear death, but I fear what they'll do to me to get to you: there are far worse fates than death, after all.

Let's play a game, you and I.
Find a mirror and stand in front of it; naked, if it's all the same to you. Before you protest, humor me a little. Look at your body - examine it, really get in there with those beady little eyes of yours - and then, when you've gotten past the absurdity of staring at your nude reflection, count all the bones you think you can see.
If you reached the high double-digits, congratulations! You should probably eat more. A lack of food is unhealthy.
But, let's say you're on a diet. I was, once. Before everything went to shit, I was a fat fuck stowed away in the back of someone else's house, glued to their computer, scouring social media and getting angry over the pruned, fabricated, perfect lives everyone else seemed to have. I was angry - so angry that I decided that I wanted to do something about it, so - maybe like you - I went on a diet. My goal? Get thin, get control of my life, wrest it away from the clutches of impending doom, make something of my time on this planet, maybe find a purpose.
Life, however, is funny - or cruel, depending on how full your glass is. Whenever I tried dieting, something always happened to get in the way. My favorite haunt started having trivia nights - unlimited nachos. Jake, a good friend of mine, had a punch card for discounts on sub sandwiches. I once got a piece of mail that told me I won a lifetime supply of corn chips (a scam, thankfully). I started to think that life had it out for me.
Little did I know, life had it out for everyone.
We lost electricity first. As the heat waves picked up, our access to cool air was cut short. Humankind started dropping like flies, by the thousands and even more in the deserts. Some of us were able to adapt before things got too bad, but when the water started to disappear, sweating was akin to suffering.
When we reached a fever pitch in our panic, we got creative. We started breaching bunkers, ripping the rich out of their hovels and taking everything they had. Some were so desperate that they took the slogan "eat the rich" to where you're probably thinking they did. Magic trick time. Were you thinking cannibalism? What a freak.
Not you; them. They did take it literally.
Food got scarce. Starvation and dehydration set in. We lost communication with people in distant places and it felt like everything was truly coming to an end.
Do you like anecdotes?
One time, I was on scavenging duty with a friend of mine. Not Jake, unfortunately - he died two days into the apocalypse after getting hit by a bus - but this guy? He was alright. Anyway, we found a small mom-and-pop shop on a street corner. The face of the shop was dusty and beige, couldn't see through the windows but, somehow, it was untouched, or so we thought. When we broke the windows and slipped inside, the shelves were almost all empty.
My friend found a wrapped Twinkie and showed it to me. "Hey, look," he said, "found you a little treat, skinny."
When I tell you this Twinkie looked like a piece of shit only the Toxic Avenger would push out of his ass, I mean it. Heavily discolored, easily broken apart, and the only thing separating me from an impossibly complex stench of decay was this razor-thin wrapper. It must've sat in the heat for ages, horrendously warping from one of America's most beloved snack cakes into a gangrenous mockery of what could pass as food.
"Nah," I said, putting on a fake smile, "I'm on a diet."
It was a joke. It was supposed to be a joke, but like I said - life is funny.
Our heads both turned when we heard a loud thud across the room. Of course, we were shaken, didn't know what to expect, so we approached it cautiously, guns drawn, and when we had sight of the cause, we were stunned. Sitting on the floor on its side was a massive can of ranch beans. It must've weighed close to five or six pounds. Even crazier and more confusing? It was room temp, like it just appeared out of thin air, untouched by the heat.
I tested something a few days later. We were running out of bottled water. Somebody made a joke about drinking piss - not to me, just to another person, but I responded that I was on a diet. Fifteen minutes later, we had a group come back from scavenging with the widest smiles, dragging a full pallet of water bottles stacked six feet high on a pallet jack.
I started doing it more surreptitiously, any time that we needed to eat or drink something, and I learned that there were rules. For example, saying it multiple times in a row didn't do anything, the gift was singular. The number of people around me or the loudness of the statement didn't matter - the gifts were random in quantity. Abuse it, and the gift would come rotten or with some other risk.
Once I had a grasp on it, we lived well, at least for a time. When the radiation storms started to sweep through, a lot of people started getting sick, including me, and there was no gift for saying I was feeling ill. It was all so sudden and severe, and it took me before almost anyone else. Real bummer, if you ask me, because I never got to learn what happened to the rest of my group. Part of me hopes they made it out of that place and found a way to survive. If you happen to find them, tell them I said hello.
57, by the way. I counted 57 bones when I looked. Just thought you should know.
Original prompt by u/MaliciousOnions. You can (probably) find this and more on StoriesInTheStatic.

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I have gotten my island up to 4 stars. I decided to do some upgrades to try and get the 5th star. I gave all of my houses fenced gardens, created pathways, and make a public park, an amusement park, and a pool area for my campsite. When I checked the status of my island, I had 2 stars!! I lost 2 of my stars because I apparently dug up too many flowers during my ‘renovation’. I scattered some flowers around and managed to get my 3rd star back.
Any tips for getting my last 2 stars or maybe what else went wrong?

VEHICLE VOLTRON I: THE MIGHTIEST OF SAVIORS RISE
written by Robert D.C. Barnes III (PeachLover94)
Inspired by "Voltron: Defender of the Universe" created for World Events Productions
by Peter Keefe, John Teichmann and Toei Animation
Based on "Armored Fleet Dairugger XV" created for Toei Animation
by Saburo Yatsude (Kozo Morishita, Masahisa Saeki, Keisuke Fujikawa,
and Shigemitsu Taguchi)
TREATMENT: 07-21-2017 2006.cosmo@gmail.com
NOTE: This proposal is the property of New Frontier Cinema (PeachLover94's production company) produced in partnership with World Events Productions (WEP LLC) and Toei Company, Ltd. Any unlicensed exhibition, copying or redistribution without written consent of the mentioned parties is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.
Vehicle Voltron I: The Mightiest of Saviors Rise Story Treatment
The Logline
In the Near Universe, an experimental carrier-battleship hybrid starship under the command of fifteen crack space explorers from the Galaxy Alliance of Earth comes under assault by the evil Drule Empire. On a faraway planet, they find fifteen vehicles which combine into the evil-fighting giant humanoid robot - Vehicle Voltron.
Main Characters
1) JEFF ♂ - Pilot of the Command Jet Explorer #1 which forms the head of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Jeff Aki Manabu. Being the leader of the entire Vehicle Voltron Force and commander of the Air Team, Jeff is head-strong, occasionally quick-tempered, yet still a great fighter and a very capable leader, even if he does not always follow the rules. During his time at Galaxy Alliance Academy, Jeff was one of the first to ever beat the no-win scenario test entitled the G.A.S. Zodiac simulation - by reprogramming the simulation to make it possible to rescue the ship and its people. A major source of contention with his peers in the Sea Team's Krik and Land Team's Cliff is Jeff's continuous scoffs at no-win scenarios trying to one-up his older sister Janet.
2) KRIK ♂ - Pilot of the Communications Module #6 which forms the torso midriff section of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Krik Miranda Keats. Hailing from the water planet of Dulcinea (Mu Arae c) with a light blue skin tone and pointed ears, Krik is appropriately the leader of the Sea Team. Speaking with an alien dialect (which can be approximated to possibly being played by an Indian), he has clairvoyant powers that tells him when something bad happens or will happen. Of the five members of the Sea Team, it is Krik who keeps a cool head and is quick-thinking when situations call for it – particularly when he is at the receiving end of a gun or when the security of Voltron Force is compromised. He will often share drinks with the others in victory times.
3) CLIFF ♂ - Pilot of the Jet Radar Station #11 which forms the lower torso and hips of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Walter Clifford Jack. An accomplished sportsman and former racing driver who won many circuits in Australian touring car championships before joining the Galaxy Alliance, he can at times be bad-tempered and reckless. Cliff studied at Sydney University before transferring to Galaxy Alliance Academy, where his own nigh impetuousness led to a clash with authorities over the launching (and subsequent crash) of an unsanctioned rocket he built. Hawkins took charge of the situation, steering the interest toward constructive ends, with Cliff now serving with the Vehicle Voltron Force's Land Team. But sometimes he misses the old days of his racing.
4) ZANDEE ♂ - Pilot of the Multi-Wheeled Explorer #10 forming the left lower leg of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Zandee Barros Carateja. Born to a Boston astronomer father and Brazilian mother, Zandee is boyishly handsome, still long in the process of maturing. An unusual combination, he has inherited from his father the mathematical ability and navigation sense from his mother. He is a phenomenally brilliant mathematician and space theorist. But he has also inherited his mother's Latin temperament, fighting what is his perpetual and highly personalized battle with his technology, suspecting that space is engaging in a gargantuan conspiracy to make his professional and personal life as difficult and uncomfortable as possible in both life and love.
5) CHIP ♂ - Pilot of the blue Advanced Recon Helicopter #4 forming the left upper arm of the Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Chipley Yasuo Mutsu Stoker, and the twin brother of Darrell Hiroshi Suzuishi "Pidge" Stoker or "Pidge I", the first Paladin of Lion Voltron's Green Lion of Forest. Chip is very much the youngest member at 13 of the Vehicle Voltron Force. He can best be described as the brains of the Vehicle Voltron Force, much like his brother Pidge I is or will be to the Lion Voltron Force in the Denubian Galaxy (Far Universe). When he is not tinkering with inventions or fawning over technology and displays of data, Chip spends most of his time with Rocky in trying to find suitable soul mates for Jeff, Cliff and Krik so that they can keep all their stress down.
6) MARVIN ♂ - Pilot of the yellow All-Terrain Space Vehicle #14 which forms the right foot of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Marvin Tasuku Izu. A good friend of Hutch's since childhood and both being members of the Land Team, the two can often be seen together, either playing cards or brawling with each other. Marvin is usually comedic, with his sense of humor being on par with that of Shannon and Cliff's in riling up Jeff and Krik. During most of the operations the Vehicle Voltron Force takes part in, Marvin's specialist expertise is in Demolition, Heavy Lifting and Logistics which he sometimes cracks jokes that are sometimes inappropriate only because he is able to do it so well for such a long time. But his jokes have even started to bug Lance.
7) GINGER ♀ - Pilot of the Falcon Jet Fighter #5 which forms the chest plate of Vehicle Voltron. Her full name is Patricia Ginger Ellington. She is a strong and brave pilot, who has always tried to fight the good fight and to this day maintains a distrust of the arrogance of science ever since seeing her family destroyed in an starship crash when she was young. She is smitten towards her Air Team commander Jeff, and the two still maintain a close professional relationship. With that said, she certainly doesn't hide her jealousy when another woman shows any affection towards him, married or otherwise. When not in the heat of battle, Ginger likes to spend her downtime shopping, hanging out with friends, or helping Cinda and Lisa with science and cartography.
8) LISA ♀ - Pilot of the red Space Prober #7 which forms the left thigh of Vehicle Voltron. Her full name is Lisa Haruka Kaga. She is very knowledgeable in ancient cultures, and always seems to know the right thing to say to others. Born on the colony world of New San Diego, Lisa was enamored with the ocean and all its native forms of life at a young age. This led to her entering the 2976 Olympic Games, and at 16 years old, became the youngest human of the Galaxy Alliance era not from Earth to win the Gold medal in the 400 meter backstroke event. Possessing an unyielding affinity for the undersea animals and environment, this makes Lisa a perfect choice for the Vehicle Voltron Force's Sea Team, as she is able to urgently take command if Krik is unable to.
9) CINDA ♀ - Pilot of the Rotating Personnel Carrier #12 which forms the right forearm of Vehicle Voltron. Her full name is Cinda Moya Qiligasz. Like Lisa, she too is kind and emotional, especially when it comes to nature. She is a Dulcinean like Krik, and the two are the main psychics and mystics of the entire Vehicle Voltron Force. It would not show up on Krik's file, but Cinda was often the only friend he had growing up back on Dulcinea, as young Dulcineans have their fears like human children have of monsters under the bed. Krik often had to have his fears reined in by Cinda, who vowed to banish all the monsters from peoples' lives so that they would not have to suffer like both she and Krik had to suffer. Even as an Alliance world, Dulcinea has hard times for Cinda.
10) WOLO ♂ - Pilot of the red Advanced Recon Helicopter #3 forming the right upper arm of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Shota Wolo Kreutz. He is a blue-skinned Galilean of the Galileo (Kepler-451b) system who is a noted scholar of astronomy and has authored several of the most popular accredited astronomy textbooks in use by the Galaxy Alliance. He is a graduate of the Galileo Polytechnic University with an esteemed Doctorate degree in Advanced Telecommunications. Among his friends, Wolo is known to be exceedingly patient, kindly and gracious and possessive of both great intelligence and poise as the gifts he has inherited from his talented mother through which he is able to take charge at times. The kindness comes from helping raise seven sisters.
11) SHANNON ♂ - Pilot of the Multi-Wheeled Explorer #9 which forms the right lower leg of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Shannon Tatsuo Izumo Cochrane. During his childhood, he piloted a deep-sea bathyscaphe to investigate marine farming methods in making food production on various worlds possible. Of all the Vehicle Voltron Force, Shannon tries to keep things from getting too serious by becoming the funny one, which gives him a tendency to get into trouble with Jeff and Krik over his flippant sense of humor. Even so, he chooses to fight for nobler causes than himself, as his brother was just taken to be a prisoner of what will be known as the Drule Empire on its tribute vassal world of Galra (Planet Doom) in the Denubian Galaxy (Far Universe).
12) HUTCH ♂ - Pilot of the black All-Terrain Space Vehicle #15 forming the left foot of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Kazuto Hutch Nagato. A good friend of Marvin's since childhood and both being members of the Land Team, the two can often be seen together, either playing cards or brawling with each other. In contrast to the comedic Marvin, Hutch is a regular tough guy, always looking for a good fight with any Drule that has the guts to challenge him mano e mano. Outside of space missions, Hutch loves to dance, listen to music, and wear the most extravagant clothes around. His strong, muscular build was put to the test during the 2976 Olympic Games, where he won the Gold medal in the weightlifting event to the congratulations of future comrade Lisa.
13) ROCKY ♂ - Pilot of the Strato Weapons Module #2 which forms the upper torso of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Rockford Kai Shinobu. He is the Brooklyn-accented member of the Air Team, usually described by the Galaxy Alliance and by the Drule Empire as the "Hunk" of the Vehicle Voltron Force, which paints a big target on his back for many of the Drule commanders like the Galvestonian Throk in the Milky Way (Near Universe), the Derinja Bi'Os in the Hyperion Galaxy (Middle Universe) and the Galran Prince Lotor in the Denubian Galaxy (Far Universe). He did not have much family growing up, so the chance to have a spiritual little brother in Chip gives him something missing from his life. He joined the Alliance to be able to make a chart of all the stars.
14) TANGOR ♂ - Pilot of the blue Space Prober #8 which forms the right thigh of Vehicle Voltron. His full name is Saluta Tangor Katz. He is as dedicated to his calling of serving the Galaxy Alliance on Vehicle Voltron Force as any of his shipmates. His off-duty demeanor is at times much less boisterous than most of his male colleagues, indulging in painting and playing the piano. Tangor has, in fact, composed a great deal of lounge tunes on the piano to play so to keep his shipmates relaxed and escape boredom. Some of his tunes he is compiling to be sold as an easy listening album. His and Wolo's species is the blue-skinned Galileans from their planet Galileo (Kepler-451b), who are very noted for their appreciation of the finer arts that speak to the soul about existence.
15) MODOK ♂ - Pilot of the Armored Equipment Carrier #13 which forms the left forearm of Vehicle Voltron. His full given name is Modok MacKenzie "Mack" Chucker. He is one of the few eldest active members of the Vehicle Voltron Force. Stern and serious, Modok focuses on the task at hand above all else. He acknowledges that his gruff approach can lead to conflict with the younger crew, though he always means well, and just is out to ensure their mission is accomplished successfully, safely, and professionally. When not on assignment, Modok is a self-described gentle giant like Rocky from the Air Team who likes to find a secluded spot outside the G.A.S. Explorer/Rugger Guard on planets and spend a day fishing and cooking whatever fish are caught.
16) HAWKINS ♂ - Age: 54. Acting Commander of the Vehicle Voltron Force stationed aboard the new Galaxy Alliance Starship Explorer (the pride of the Galaxy Alliance's project code-named Rugger Guard). His full title is Commander James Shinji Ise Hawkins of the Galaxy Alliance. While it is Commander Hawkins who gives all the orders to the Vehicle Voltron Force, he is Executive Officer who answers to Captain Newley on the mission of the Explorer. When it comes to saving lives, Hawkins is always deadly serious - but subtly cracks a joke every now and then. He's so dedicated to the mission that he constantly remains on assignment, and has very little time for recreation, much to the disappointment of his gentler and relaxed commanding officer Newley.
17) NEWLEY ♂ - Age: 58. Captain of the Galaxy Alliance Starship Explorer who is the Commanding Officer of and a good friend to the Vehicle Voltron Force's Commander Hawkins. His full title is Captain Richard "Dick" Asimov Newley. He regards all the members of the Vehicle Voltron Force as replacements for the son he had lost in battle, and sorely regrets his son's death in battle near planet Likon, along with the apparent death of Jeff's older sister Janet who represented him in court martial over cheating to win the G.A.S. Zodiac scenario, but was lost in a training accident. As a child, he was told of the story of Voltron and became intrigued with the prospect of finding it and bringing it back. Now it seems like that dream shall come true at last down on Likon.
18) PAGE ♂ - Age: 56. Science Officer of the Galaxy Alliance Starship Explorer. Though originally an aerospace engineer (albeit an unsuccessful one), he becomes the ship's primary medical officer. He is good humored and always willing to give advice, but he can become deadly earnest when chiding others' behavior. His full title is Professor Michael Search Page. He frequently sips up coffee whilst moving around speaking at an extremely accelerated rate. Despite his bumbling nature, he is actually very wise and knowledgeable, choosing to learn from mankind's past mistakes so that they won't happen again in the future. Page believes that knowledge is the most powerful weapon from any species' history and seeks the knowledge of the universe for this goal.
The Background
Long in the past of the Milky Way Galaxy, the fifteen-piece fighting humanoid robot known as the Vehicle Voltron was known as Dairugger XV by the peoples of the planets the robot visited. Dairugger XV or Vehicle Voltron was a sentient being, renown across the galaxy for its feats of heroism and bravery. Ultimately, this led to Voltron developing something of an ego, as it challenged both a reincarnated wicked Zaar King Drolmacht Dolmen and the goddess Arcadia to battle it for supremacy. Arcadia, having sensed the egotism brewing in Vehicle Voltron/Dairugger XV out of simple ignorance of its own power and not out of sinister malice, defeated but spared the robot as she pondered what punishment would do it best to teach humility/sportsmanship.
In a rage, the dying King Drolmacht disguised himself as Arcadia and tried to destroy Voltron while succeeding at slaying Arcadia. With her last acts, a mortally injured Arcadia managed to save Vehicle Voltron/Dairugger XV by splitting it back up into its fifteen component space vehicles - five joining into the airborne Strato Fighter the Kurugger, another five forming the submersible Aqua Fighter the Kairugger, and another five forming the ground-hugging Turbo Terrain Fighter or Rikurugger - that when all are combined together form Voltron. They were flung through space until they crash-landed on the uncharted planet known as Likon. It is here that the fifteen vehicles will rest until the arrival of the Zaars' posterity in the form of the Drule Empire of Galveston.
The Premise
Historically, the Vehicle Voltron Force story arc of Voltron: Defender of the Universe was adapted from the 1982 anime series Armored Fleet Dairugger XV - but was adapted to be part of a much bigger storyline. We start the Voltron story as a Asimovian science fiction story that is about how the titular machines came to be, used to solve problems, and how their presence affects people for good or ill. Taking the team of heroes premises of the Japanese Super Sentai/Power Rangers series, the galactic journey of Star Trek, the swashbuckling adventure and journeys of Horatio Hornblower, and the appeal of robots found in both the Gundam and Transformers franchises, Voltron is ready to launch with the debut film of a potential cinematic universe of science fiction.
In this four-quadrant five-act mecha science fiction epic, the Galaxy Alliance Starship Explorer launches from Earth in the year 2981 on its mission to chart the Milky Way Galaxy and to find new planets for the Alliance to colonize or terraform to solve problems of scarce food and water supplies as well as both overpopulation and resource depletion. They are forced to land and make repairs on the planet Likon by the forces of the Drule Empire of Planet Galveston, when fifteen of its primary space explorers find fifteen space-worthy ships able to join together to form the mythical Vehicle Voltron - Defender of the Near Universe. Can they join together to stop a Drule attack that threatens a peaceful planet? It may lead to war, but also a step towards evolution.
The Nemeses (The Galvestonian Drule Empire of Planet Galveston)
Aside from normal human squabbles and quandaries that face teams of people trying to survive in the hostile universe, Vehicle Voltron and its team of pilots have to contend with the new horrible menace threatening the Milky Way Galaxy. Many of the Galvestonian Drules of Planet Galveston (also called the Drule Homeworld) fit the tradition of the classic "empire of evil". Most of the Drules are humanoids with light purple skin and red eyes. With fleets of starfighters and space battleships; as well as armies of tanks, super soldiers and Robeast mecha monsters, Galvestonian Drules are aimed at making the Drule Empire a major if not the superpower in the Milky Way Galaxy controlling hapless innocents, with only the Voltron Forces daring to stand in their way.
1) ZEPPO ♂ - Age: Late 40s/Early 50s. Species: Galvestonian Drule. Homeworld: Galveston (Drule Homeworld). Eye Color: Red. His full title is Emperor Zeppo Corsair of Planet Galveston. Like many a major and admittedly rather incompetent dictator, Zeppo rules the Empire with the fists of iron fury, sending others to do his dirty work and harshly punishing those who fail him. With how abusive and destructive he can be towards his many subordinates on a bad day, it is practically insane that there have not been attempts to overthrow him as of yet. A complete and utter sadist by inclination, Zeppo is willing to send his forces to capture slaves from other worlds and force slaves of his own people to fight to the death. His tyranny is only egged on by his followers.
2) ROBEASTS - Wherever one goes in the Empires of the Drules, there will always be such things as Robeasts to challenge the Voltrons and threaten the peace of the Near, Middle and Far Universes. Robeasts from Galveston (Drule Homeworld) sent to battle the Vehicle Voltron are humanoid monsters created through more advanced science and technology, most often from the prisoners of war that are reared in Zeppo's sadistic gladiatorial combat, though some of them are simply giant robots piloted by Centurion troopers. There is often a platoon of fifteen robeasts ready at a moments notice to travel with fighters, tanks, space battleships and or Centurion armies to lay siege to whatever may get in their Empire's way. The Vehicle Voltron Force must take great care.
3) THROK ♂ - Age: Late 60s. Species: Galvestonian Drule. Homeworld: Galveston (Drule Homeworld). Eye Color: Red. Hair Color: White. His full title is Viceroy Throk Al Caponero. Possibly the worst of the worst, Throk is at bitter ends with Hazar, and the loyalest supporter of Emperor Zeppo. It is often rumored that Throk is the one stroking Zeppo's ego to throw him off the scent of Throk's own attempted bids at becoming Emperor of the Drules. A natural-born kiss-up and backstabber, he lives for nothing more than destroying any "invaders" that could make a pass at the Empire and generally making Hazar and his followers out to look like fools, imbeciles and other pejorative words not to be listed. But it is his lust for power that makes Throk underestimate foes.
4) CENTURIONS - Say hello to the mixed organic and cybernetic shock troopers of the Drule Empire. They all serve as the central backbone of the Drule military forces. Their drones have no built in weapons, instead using the same weapons as their mainly organic counterparts. Drones are capable of squad-level infantry tactics and understanding vocal commands. These androids can somewhat resemble fellow Drules, appearing to wear this green-purple armor. In fact, some of the living soldiers appear identical to their own Drones. In addition, Drule Drones can be used for scouting environments full of every kind of hazards, are more durable, and have no fear of utter destruction to claim victory for Zeppo and the Empire. Some are known to pilot their Robeasts.
5) HAZAR ♂ - Age: 40s. Species: Galvestonian Drule. Homeworld: Galveston (Drule Homeworld). Eye Color: Red. Hair Color: White. His full title is Chief Commander Hazar Dorita Teles of the Galvestonian Drules. Hazar is an athletic fellow, able to dodge and move around quickly to evade attacks. This is despite his large size, topping at about six and a half feet. Unlike most other fleet and army commanders in the Empire of the Drules, Hazar is often a composed and rational figure who never has a bad word to say about any of his underlings. He is his own worst critic, as inside, he frequently doubts himself on whether an action he or the Empire takes is right or at least justifiable. Due to this, Robeasts and Centurions alike find him to be more approachable than Throk.
The Heroes and the Twist
Each member of Vehicle Voltron's three teams (Air, Land and Sea) of a super force of space explorers is meant to be reflective of aspects of ourselves that we all have been at some point in our lives - a class clown, a lone wolf, a young genius, a tough guy who is also a mediator, and that young person destined for life greater than their own backyard. At the beginning of the story, the three team leaders Jeff, Cliff and Krik all function as the Id/McCoy (Cliff), Ego/Kirk (Jeff) and Superego/Spock (Krik) found in the Freudian psyche. It is what they learn from each other that they all have to pass down to the other four members of their respective teams in order to effectively come together and operate Vehicle Voltron to save both the Galaxy Alliance and planet Galateia.

11th: Jerri Manthey 1.0 (The Australian Outback - 8th)

mother
u/SMC0629:
Despite how anyone feels about Outback, I think Jerri is the one character who transcends those opinions. She is a pioneer in terms of Survivor villains, literally the original, and for better or for worse, she had the entire fandom in a chokehold back when the show started. She's super complex and fun to watch, and EASILY my favorite character of the season.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
Survivor’s original villain. Man-eater Manthey, the original Black Widow, Survivor’s very first “mactor” casting, the asshole who said Keith couldn’t cook rice, the horrible person who accused Kel of smuggling beef jerky… Honestly, I think Jerri’s gotten underrated nowadays. There’s some meaningful discussion to be had about the extent of how much of a villain Jerri is based on modern day perspectives, but I have also seen it accompanied by takes about Jerri being neither a villain nor “that entertaining”, and honestly, I categorically reject both assertions.
Jerri carves herself a truly unique role in Outback and serves as a fantastic foil to all of the main characters of the show. She’s narcissistic and vain and has very little filter on her thoughts (i.e. her complaints about Keith and her open flirting with Colby), and she’s also very cutthroat with some amazing one-liners. I think Jerri is the first person in the show’s history to make a reference to “making a deal with the devil” and god does she pull it off so well. Her relationship with Colby is genuinely iconic. Her relationship with Tina is also pretty damn amazing as well (especially as it starts with both of them being suspicious of Kel). Her hatred of Keith, her feud with Elisabeth, the forced politeness she and Rodger share… hell, she manages to do the genuine impossible task of actually making Amber Brkich seem entertaining on Survivor! Give this woman an Emmy for fuck’s sake!
The beef jerky, her making tortillas to one-up Keith, her involvement in the Mitchell tribal council as one of his faithful allies, the “drizzle chocolate on a hot guy’s bod”, Colby splashing her with water after Ogakor lost reward, their late “date” at the Great Barrier Reef, her blindside, both Tina and Colby taking potshots at her in the FTC… there’s so much to say about Jerri. And despite all of these iconic moments and being such an iconic villain, she herself has a relatability to her that I think should not be ignored. Truly, one of the best of all time. Someone who should realistically make every Endgame.
Overall Rank – 9/821
~
u/Zanthosus:
The original villainess of Survivor. She’s the star of her season, and she has one of the most perfect three season arcs in the show’s history. I adore her in every iteration, but here she’s basically perfect. A true 10/10 character through and through. It’s really telling that the quality of the season goes down considerably after her elimination.
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
The original villainess of Survivor. Her dynamic with Colby is iconic for a reason they have some of the best moments in survivor history. And perfectly sets up Colby’s story as well as just being completely tv gold with her beef jerky gate, Hershey bars, whenever she is on screen you know you are gonna get the Manthey experience.
~
u/ninjedi1:
Jerri is definitely one of the most well known characters, originally one of the most hated people on the show, and nowadays is one of the most beloved (although not a fan of the revisionist take that she was the hero of the season). From the beef jerky debacle, to her relationship with Colby, with having the ability to tick off a number of people with her attitude without even knowing, she's pretty fun overall.
~~~~~
u/Regnisyak1:
Jerri Manthey (Australian Outback, 8/16)
Jerri, Jerri, Jerri. The maneater of the show has one of the most important roles in the series and is a necessary character, not just in the history of Survivor, but the history of Reality TV. She shows what happens when a personality clash happens on Survivor. She demonstrates the pride of strong women and how they are immediately ostracized on these TV shows as being a “bitch.” The double standard she expresses, where she is playing a clear strategic game, but is relegated to the position of the camp pariah because of her behavior is endlessly fascinating. But most importantly? She is the true first villainess, the first true flirt of the series, and she is the demonstration of perceived evil in society when in reality people desire scapegoats. She is a stellar character and one of the few characters whom I ultimately question where I have in my rankings - and perhaps one day could be my number one of all time. I love Jerri.
There are about one million things I love about Jerri, so for this essay, I want to frame it in a certain manner that is easy to follow, both for myself and you all. Jerri’s strengths are mainly showcased in her relationships with other people on the island - namely, Keith, Colby, and Tina, and coincidentally, that is the order in which this paper will go. With Keith, we understand Jerri’s humor, bossiness, and personality best. Often, Jerri IS right whenever she complains about Keith - he is simply put, an idiot, and Jerri outshines him in everything. With Colby, we understand a newer facet of Survivor that hasn’t been shown - sexuality on Survivor, and how it's dealt with. With that, Jerri is also deemed as a villain, especially given the situation of Ogakor and their… conservatism. And lastly, Jerri is a free independent woman in the series - which means she is SATAN! A discussion of Tina will take over the last section of this write-up because she is the primary source of Jerri becoming the original villain that we all love and know her for.
I mentioned a long time ago in my Jerri 3.0 cut that I didn’t think that I was able to get her cut for endgame (because at that point, we all kind of agreed Jerri was making endgame), so the fact that I am in this position, to talk about one of my favorite characters of all time, is just an honor. Outback is a very underrated season when it comes to the theming of Survivor, and the fact that I get a chance to deep dive into it as extensively as I will right now is a lot of fun.
Part I: “He Should Keep His Day Job” - Jerri and Her Personality (featuring Keith and other Friends)
Opening right away on the now iconic helicopter scene, Jerri almost immediately came out on the island guns blazing when she reached the camp… by arguing with Keith. Keith in general is a condescending dink, but right away, he begins to suggest things for camp, when in reality they would not work in the context of how they should live - in other words, his ideas are kind of lame. But this culminates in the second when the world-class chef continues to cook the rice horrifically.
Jerri and her tortillas are unfortunately a bigger character than Amber 1.0, but they show so much about her character in such a short amount of time. One is that she is not afraid to speak her mind, both in confessionals and in the game. She complains about Keith not being able to cook something as simple as rice in the middle of the beach, while Jerri can do it with relative ease. She is not afraid to call his ass out on the issue either, because his rice sucked and she knew she could do it better. But it also shows Jerri’s bossy side, which seems to especially come out whenever she is hungry (or wakes up in a bad mood… or doesn’t get what she wants… or is annoyed… or… well you get the point). While Jerri is hilarious in the moment, and right because everyone hates Keith’s rice, people still see her as being negative because she has such a personality clash with the tribe, who tend to be people who follow, rather than lead like Jerri. People like her should be appreciative of what Keith is doing, but she breaks the mold and goes against the line. This culminates in Episode 3 when Jerri mocks Keith AGAIN because she is catching more fish than him without barely trying! Her overconfidence is further a key component in her character, and something that pushes people away.
I’d be wrong to not bring up JerkyGate at this point, which happens in the same episode with Jerri and also shows her abrasive side. We might never know if Kel snuck beef jerky on the show, or was simply munching on grass, but one thing we do know is that Jerri was pissed and led the witchhunt against him. Ultimately, Jerri is not afraid to take the lead on anything, even if the facts are not clear, and while the tribe was pissed at Kel for potentially having food and not being prepared to share with 7 other starving people on the island, Jerri got more flak for the situations due to how harsh she was in the concept. It’s another staple of her character.
Episode 3 is also an interesting episode for Jerri because it showcases one positive trait of her and her game. At the end of the day, while she could get annoyed easily and maybe isn’t the nicest when she is hungry, she is loyal to the people that she is friends with. Mad Dog was one of the most difficult votes for her at that point of the game because she considered her a close friend, but ultimately that was where the chips lay. It further expands to Mitchell in the next episode, where Jerri specifically mentions friendship in the game, and how she is not as close with some on the island as others. This sets off red flags for a particular Tennesseean and something I will go into more detail earlier, but it shows that no matter how the show portrays her if she likes you, she will be loyal to you. What’s important about this scene, however, is that it is a classic example of Jerri speaking before thinking about the words that she is saying. Jerri’s immediate regret in the next episode showcases her fear of the game and shows that she has game awareness, despite not having social awareness. Ultimately, her loyalty takes a front view at the end of Episode 4, as she refuses to vote for Mitchell, which puts her on the outside of the tribe because of Tina’s last-second vote flip on their hike over to the tribal council.
As time progresses, we begin to see more sides of Jerri, and it is up to us as the viewer to construe the positivity or negativity of Jerri. She is constantly complained about for her attitude on the show, whether it is her style of gameplay or her continued attitude on the beach. The gameplay portion of her game is rather important. As the game progresses we see Jerri become more and more paranoid. Jerri is a classic example of a player lacking self-awareness of how their behavior might affect people in the future, but what is notable is that she quickly understands that people do not like her in the game. I don’t think she is ever aware of the extent of the game and her behavior, (which I think explains her bitterness toward Tina in All-Stars) but she does know that people will never take her to the end, either because she is not deserving or because she is playing a good social game. But, that leads to Jerri becoming a paranoid mess, desperate to strategize with almost anything at this point. One notable moment is her strategizing with Colby in the middle night, which is something that he CLEARLY did not want to do. This was yet another strike, but showed that Jerri, while being bossy all the time, is also really game-oriented, but she doesn’t recognize what times she should - it reminds me of a lot of characters on the show, but Jerri is the true example of that, where she is actively seen as bossy AND overplaying.
But Jerri’s bossiness reaches a new height once the Kuchas come over to the tribe. Immediately, the Ogakors look like idiots because that dumbass Keith accidentally took the matches to the old Kucha tribe by accident, leading the women to have no ability to make fire, as their guests meander to their tribe. Further, we get Jerri being incredibly bossy about the rice and such, yet again, as the merge progresses. With this, we understand the entire characterization of Jerri with a simple Rodger voting confessional “Most days she gets up in a good mood, but oh baby, watch out if she gets up in a bad mood.” We get some classic Jerri personality clashes at this point in the post-merge, notably with her complaining about how Elisabeth cooks the food every morning, and how she has a specific way of cooking it.
This scene is especially important because it is a rare time when we see Elisabeth, of all characters, break their character and lose the sweetheart facade for a moment because of Jerri’s sheer negativity around camp. Elisabeth tends to keep her composure throughout most of the season, but you can tell her annoyment in this situation, and it sparks a different side of her character that we did not get an opportunity to see - a more malicious side where she pushes a lot of the Jerri boot in the process. It was yet another personality clash with Jerri at this point, and something that caused another strike because of her abrasion. And what’s funnier is that Jerri came into the merge to hide that attitude. She was attempting to be nice and together with the Ogakors as the other two Kuchas meandered over to their tribe, and she was even going to stay loyal to the final 3, who she never really knew the extent they hated her, but her power on the tribe was just too great, and her attitude finally wore them down. She went home in that episode, for a mix of reasons. Her abrasion, her attitude, her differences from the “good” people on the tribe, and her strategic abilities.
Jerri so effortlessly creates argumentation in the tribe, whether it is deserved conflict or perceived conflict because of her attitude. Her ability to be such a natural villain without over-hamming it up, and just merely due to her negative personality, is beyond impressive on the show, and something that I can’t overemphasize my appreciation for. Ultimately, Jerri is not really that bad, and I think many could even suggest that she is the right half of the time, but she ultimately cannot make that point clear because she just comes off too strongly. But is it her fault? Maybe not. At this point, we have to start looking at the other people in the tribe. Ultimately, Jerri is abrasive, the vitriol she got was just not deserved. It’s due to simple perceptions, initial first perceptions, and perhaps gender roles that created such an intense portion of the game with Jerri, and why she meets the themes of the season so well. But before that, let’s jump into the other character and their dissolution of a potential relationship, to a rivalry that last over a decade. He ain’t no Hershey bar, either.
Part II: “I Am SUCH a Sucker for Cowboys” - Jerri and Sexuality/Gender Roles
The tumultuous roller coaster that occurs between Jerri and Colby is telegraphed so greatly during Australian Outback, and ultimately it is because of one thing, and one thing only. Avoiding the full Freudian comparison, Colby is a MAMA’S BOY!
Jerri and Colby begin the show with having a mutual relationship and liking for each other, while also having their knives sharpened and ready to stab at the correct period. Probably one of my favorite and underrated scenes of Jerri was when she gave Colby the massage on the island. Both give immediate commentary in that they can see right through each other and know exactly what they are doing to each other. Jerri begins the massage but knows that at some point in the game, even though she is attracted to Colby, she will have to stab him in the back. On the other hand, Colby sees right through her sexualization of him and knows that Jerri will be in trouble down the line.
Something that Jerri’s weaponizes is her flirtatious nature. I don’t think Jerri gets enough credit for using that as her strategy and being the first really to use it in such an obvious way, because she is actively using it to win people over, notably her potential boyfriend on the season, Colby. To me, I think Jerri very well knows how she is acting on camp, and using her powers of seduction as a way to convince Colby to move over to her side and be a strong ally for her character. I think she also just has a crush on Colby, but as we’ve seen from her being strategic and understanding game awareness, she knows exactly what she is doing.
Probably, my favorite example of Jerri and her sexuality is the classic scene with her and the chocolate. Chocolate releases endorphins. Poor it over a hot bod. Hopefully, Colby is in her fantasies. I mentioned this casually in my Jerri 3.0 writeup, but her relationship with chocolate is one of my favorite side stories of Jerri because she mentions it consistently in all three seasons she appears. I don’t think it is overshadowed at all in Survivor, but with it appearing in the same episode as Trial by Fire, I do think its placement gets forgotten. She’s on the beach, lying next to a log (wait that’s AMBER?!?) and discussing just so blatantly how chocolate is an aphrodisiac near Colby, whom she admits pretty firmly that she is fantasizing about in her daydreams. Yes, we get the Hershey Bar scene here, but Jerri destroys this scene with how classic she is, just because it was so unique and different to hear a woman like her so blatantly talk about sex in that manner. Like for 2001, that’s SHOCKING. But it is reality, and I think Jerri being the leader in that role is pretty incredible.
But, silly goofy gender roles come into play, and it causes a riff between the tribe because it does make the rest of the tribe uncomfortable. Again, I will go into this more detail down below, but Colby and Tina don’t like how open she is about how she wants it, and I think that is really important contextualization for the tribe because they are a bunch of conservatives on the tribe. They don’t need to hear that, and Jerri, someone they’ve already had issues with, is already annoying as is, and this just adds insult to energy.
But as they progress, we see their relationship continue to tumble down a hill, picking up speed as it rolls down faster and faster. Colby is getting irritated with Jerri at this point, and I think Tina is involved a lot in this position on the season. As I mentioned earlier, Colby is a total mama’s boy, and that is immediately confirmed when his mom comes strolling out on the island after he wins one of his ten million challenges. We question his motives throughout the season, but I think Tina clocked Colby immediately for being someone who respects elders in his life, and her power of acting as a motherly figure for his character begins the general dislike for Jerri because at first they did get along and created an alliance. But they continue to struggle, and whether it is Colby throwing the water at Jerri during the challenge, or his general apathy as the game progresses and lack of interest, their relationship is going down, and a lot of it is due to Tina and her negative attitude toward Jerri and her character.
Their awkwardness of their, for a lack of a better word, “situationship”, culminates into the classic honeymoon scene, as they go to the reefs and slowly ruin a national landmark in Australia (lol). They lounge on the chairs out there, but Colby first issues a rule with Jerri - no one is allowed to talk about strategy out on the reward. This is a time to relax, and he simply has no desire to hear it. It was hilarious how differently the two were on different pages, with Colby not giving any fucks about Jerri (he dragged her along the challenge but did not want to win), while Jerri somehow fell more in love on her honeymoon without sex. The dichotomy of their games, with Colby playing a better social game, but not so much one with game awareness, while Jerri having the exact opposite, became quite clear here.
Jerri’s ultimate lack of understanding of how to use her strategy, and the divide of her negative attitude, something that is very difficult to change at the end of the day, creates a varied strategy that ultimately fails on cylinders. But the more important part is how a woman who has these feelings, basically being a love-sick puppy, gets ostracized by the entire country of America for her behavior. I think the perception of Jerri and her seductive nature is probably the most interesting about her character because it is highly lauded in seasons now, but when it happened then, she was the equivalent of the devil. It represents the double standards of women on Survivor because god forbid a woman shows that she has a strong sexuality. I love how Jerri embraced it, and while she did have issues making it actually… work, it still created some interesting tension among the much more conservative tribe members of Kucha and Ogakor.
Ultimately, I think Jerri and Colby’s relationship ends with fire because he just straight up lies to her when he mentions who he is voting for her because she is so done with her attitude. Jerri isn’t shocked at tribal because early Survivor didn’t understand blindsides, so they likely told her beforehand, but I think you can see she is heartbroken by the decision because Jerri was a mouthy, but loyal soldier. Even at the end, I don’t think anyone expected Jerri’s game because she was trying to fish for answers with her jury questions, and I think there’s a certain tragedy that Jerri was playing a strategically forward game, but was ultimately ruined because of her boisterous personality.
And again, I’d be wrong not to mention the sheer strength of Jerri and Colby, and how their relationship progresses throughout the seasons. From this, we get legendary moments in All-Stars that give the season some semblance of watchability, which leads to an incredible three-season arc for the duo. I wouldn’t go into too much detail because this write-up is already getting to be way too long, but it is pretty great, and watching Jerri get the final word on Colby twice is great.
Part III: “She took the canoe!” - Jerri and The Themes of Australia
Lastly, Jerri symbolizes the themes I’ve talked about loving so much in Australian Outback - understanding what deserving means on the season, and how that turn has no relevance to the season. Once someone gets pegged as “undeserving” it is hard to fight against that reputation, even in a favorable way. The problem is that Jerri constantly gets dogpiled, to the point where she can never bounce back from what people thought of her with her initial perceptions.
Tina’s hatred of Jerri symbolizes that, as she was one of the leaders of the concept of good vs. evil. Throughout the premerge, Tina plays a hidden role, but eventually, we begin to understand the “good people” winning, or those who agree Tina initially perceives as those who are “good.” The entire perception comes from her. This means white people who don’t have an attitude problem. I think Australian Outback is beyond interesting because of that because it shows how the cast can change what people describe as deserving, and that it can be completely subjective depending on the season.
No one on Survivor is truly “deserving” to make it to the end or not. It’s almost entirely luck. But Australian Outback tries to establish that, which makes it unique against the other seasons of Survivor because deserving is never really as vocalized as it is in this season. Tina disguises what being “good” means, and it causes the endgame to work out the way it is. Jerri is only the first victim that Tina has with this march, but the good vs evil marking leads to an interesting dichotomy between the two groups.
Besides that, their relationship reconfirms gender roles of the season, with someone who lives in a more conservative setting, versus one who didn’t and has broader strokes of liberalism with it. Tina is very conservative in her roles in society, as we see with her judgments of Jerri all season, which is described as negative when Jerri begins to talk about sexuality. Of course, there's a right and wrong place to talk about it, and Jerri often did do it at the wrong times, but it clouded Tina’s mind to the point where she couldn’t change her mind.
The conceit of friendship and connections also comes into play with Jerri. Again, at Mad Dog’s tribal she accidentally leaks that friendships do exist on Survivor, and she has quite a few. This immediately paints a target on her back because she admits to having an alliance, but also likes other people more than others. It set off two people, with Tina who already began to dislike Jerri, but also Colby, who understood Jerri could be a loose cannon, and he didn’t like when people ostracized other people on the tribe. Jerri was considered rude in this situation, and this was yet another domino in Jerri’s villain arc.
No one is right or wrong in this situation because putting people into schemas is natural. I don’t want to make a moral judgment about this story, but ultimately, Tina’s story did boil down to her only supporting people who have her views. And I love it. But Jerri as the main villain, when in reality, she was just an outspoken woman on a tribe that has more conservative views is an incredible contrast with one another. I don’t want to make this section about Tina any longer than it should be the ranker will do a great job speaking about her, but Jerri as a concept was through Tina’s perception, and she ultimately became a scapegoat for the tribe person that they can pile on easily.
Whether Jerri deserved the vitriol is up for debate, but ultimately, it’s a reflection on society. Jerri was both right and wrong with her accusations, and most of the time, she was right with her perceptions. But once you get targeted for that negativity, it is hard to shake off what happens for the rest of the time. We naturally look for scapegoats, and when someone falls out of line, they get targeted next to society. Tina perfected this strategy to a T and deserved every penny. And Jerri? She was the first victim in that description.
It’s why Jerri’s common complaint about her game being “tame” in comparison is always a weird take to me. It’s not the point about Jerri. She’s a bitch, but it is not really because of her style of play or how she plays the game, it’s because of how people perceive her on the show. Symbolically, her role in Australian Outback represents such an important facet of society and how people can tend to pile on when first impressions are not met properly. She is supposed to be tame in comparison to the legendary characters because she is tame. She’s just extraordinarily bossy and clashes with other people. Ultimately, this is why I love Jerri. She goes against the grain and gets punished for it, when in reality, how much she deserves it is questionable, and should be up for debate.
Her downfall is legendary from two different angles. One is if you support Tina’s narrative of getting out the negativity on the season. The other is tragic when you understand that Jerri was ostracized because of her personality, and given a chance to grow outside of it because the other tribe members were mum about their feelings. Having a character who has two completely different interpretations of how their boot occurred has a lot of implications for Jerri and showcases how stellar her character is. A lot of it is ambiguous, and while Tina’s side was much more supported in the narrative, I think both are valid takes to understand how Jerri went home.
Part IV: “I don’t know who I am out here” - Concluding Thoughts
Ultimately, as Jerri knows she is going home, she learns that she does not recognize herself out there on the island. And I believe that. Jerri becomes a mess after a while and a lot of factors could have led to that. Whether she does have a bossy personality, hunger on the island, being around people who don’t like her, or being in the same place constantly, could lead to why Jerri became Jerri on the island. But ultimately, it’s the symbolism that surrounds her boot. First impressions mean everything on Survivor, and sometimes you can go down a rabbit hole that evolves into whether someone on the series was deserving or not.
A good character for me is someone that you can spin easily. Spin their meaning into something that relates to society. And Jerri is probably the easiest character to do that for. She has so many implications about whether or not she is a villain, and how that can translate to the larger role of society. It’s a tragic blend of gender roles, personality clashes, good in society, and negativity overall and how that affects the mood. It leads to a beautiful blend of a character that is not only asking all these questions but incredibly entertaining to boot.
That’s something I’ve mostly been quiet about, but whenever Jerri has a personality clash, it’s almost gleeful to watch her be so blissfully unaware, with a top 5 laugh in reality TV (Cirie and Amy Crews from BB4 are also there). Jerri is someone who makes me consistently laugh because she is so detached at times from reality and truly doesn’t understand how these people feel about her. When she complains about tortillas, she is a magnetic narrator, and her annoyance is clear through her emotions. When she discusses sexuality, you can feel a certain emotion from her, as well as the mood shift around the camp. Ultimately, she is one of the most expressive, hilarious, funny narrators in the history of the show.
When she leaves, you can tell the magic nearly disappears because she is a queen of conflict and drives all of it on the season. Jerri was the life and soul of the season, and while Tina dominated the strategy, Jerri dominated the character. She is one of those few characters that makes characters better than they should be. I am so happy that she had the opportunity to make the endgame again, and I am even more overjoyed that I had the opportunity to talk about her in more detail.
Personal Rank: 6/821 <3.
SMC0629: 14
DryBonesKing: 8
Zanthosus: 10
Tommyroxs45: 14
Regnisyak1: 6
DavidW1208: 4
ninjedi1: 20
Average Placement: 10.857
Total Points: 76
Standard Deviation: 5.521 (10th Lowest)